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Howard started the show talking to George Takei who was sitting in today. Howard said they have a lot to get to today. He said it's the opening of George's play soon. Howard said that he didn't know he was in the play. George said he's an actor. Howard said he knows that. He said he was in Star Trek. George said they open this Sunday with Howard, Beth and Robin. Howard said he's going to break something to him. Howard said he's coming to the opening but Beth is not. He said she has a family emergency and she can't make it. Howard said he's going to go and walk the red carpet. Howard said he'll be there for the red carpet but he won't see the play. He said he'll come back when Beth returns. Howard said Beth wants to see it so she wants to see it with him. Howard said he's going to go to the press to say hello and then he'll get the fuck out of there.
Howard said he has to say that when George talked about this play he thought it was going to be a bullshit thing. George said it is a musical. Howard said George looks good by the way. George said he's feeling good too. Howard said he loves the clip of George saying ''Hey boner.'' Howard said he really thought he was insane when he talked about this play. George said he put his money where his mouth is. Howard said he knows where that mouth has been.
Howard said he heard George put up a million of his own money. George asked where he heard that. Howard asked how much he's worth. George said he's not sure. Howard guessed 12 million. George said it could be. Howard said that not many people put up their own money for something like this. Howard said so far he's read one review and it's very good. Howard said they say that George is very good in it. Howard congratulated him on that. Howard asked if he sings in it. George said he does have a duet with one of the female performers. Howard asked if he sings or talks. George sang the song for Howard. It was in Japanese.
Howard said even Gary can't go to the whole play on Sunday. He said he has to leave after the first act. Robin asked if he's doing 8 shows a week. George said he is. He said he's in the whole play playing two characters. He said he plays himself as an 80 year old veteran of the war. Howard asked if he throws in any Star Trek references. George said he does not. He said they did a Star Trek night at the Longacre theater the other night. Howard asked if a lot of people showed up. George said they did. Howard asked how that was to see during the show. George said he saw it during the curtain call. He said there were a lot out there.
Howard said George has a whole team of people working on his Twitter account now. He has 9.1 followers. Howard asked how many of those show up for the play. Howard asked if they can convert them into fans of Allegiance. George said he thinks so. He said they don't all live in the area. He said some of them are out there. George said some are flying into New York to see the play. Howard asked who the star of the play is. George said her name is Lea Salonga. He talked about some of the other stars of the play too.
Howard said he's going to play some sound effects from Star Trek and see if he knows what they are. Howard played a clip of the intercom and George didn't get it right. Howard played a clip of something else and George thought it was Photon Torpedos being fired. Howard said it was striking deflector shields. Howard played a few more and George got a couple. Howard played a few more and George missed some obvious ones. Howard told him to hand in his stripes. Howard played the door lift sound and said that's the sound of Brad's ass when it's squeaky clean.
Howard asked how Brad is doing. George said he's doing well. He said he's getting back into shape now and looking much better. He said he doesn't have to work so hard to get to his musculature. Howard asked how his Sunday was yesterday. George said the lust is starting to wane but the love is growing even more. Howard said that's too bad. George said they have missed some Sundays. Howard asked if he finds that now that he's 78 he has lost the erection thing that you get in the morning. George said it does go away and he has come to accept that. He said that it's the arc of life. Howard asked if he's jerking off more than twice a week. George said he is. He said it's too much work to do it with Brad. George said he used to worry about that. Howard said you don't want to have erectile dysfunction. George said that it is going away but he doesn't worry now. Howard said jerking off twice a week at his age is still pretty good.
Howard said Beth was sick this weekend and she had a stomach virus or something. Howard said he was hoping she'd get over it so they could fuck a little bit. Howard said he saw it wasn't happening so he took matters into his own hands. Then he was all relaxed and ready to do his day. Howard said then he's not bugging her for sex. Howard said that's good. George said that's part of life's reality.
Howard asked if George looks at anything to jerk off. George said he just thinks. Howard said he did that the other day but last night he went on YouPorn. George said he just remembers. Howard said he has to get on YouPorn. Howard said George was back in the Brambles. George laughed. He said it's actually called the Rambles. Howard said he was with his buddy the other day taking pictures in the park and his friend told him to take pictures of the Rambles. Howard said he wasn't going to go in their with his buddy. He said that people would think they were going in there to fuck.
Howard asked George if Brad let him have a free pass to go to the Rambles, would he do it. George said no. He said he wouldn't tell him. He said those days are over anyway.
Robin asked George what modern day actor George thinks about. George said it's Michael Fassbender. Howard said he's not sure who that guy is. George said he was in the movie ''Steve Jobs.'' Howard said he did see some of that. Howard asked George if he ever told Brad not to shower after a run. George said they would shower. George said he thinks about him all sweaty but he doesn't like to smell him. He said he thinks about Brad when he was a younger man when he was in shape when he masturbates.
Howard said he has some audio of Memet interviewing some guys at the gay bar during Pup Night. Howard played some of that and asked George if he ever does that role playing kind of thing. George said he's not into that kind of thing. Howard said he can see George playing the dog or George playing Brad's owner. George said that Howard really doesn't know his relationship then.
Howard played a clip of Memet interviewing a guy who wouldn't talk. He was just barking. Memet said that they had dog masks on and they had tails coming out of their rear. Howard said imagine that. Memet said it smelled so bad in that place.
Howard played a clip of Memet asking a guy about how old you have to be to know when you're a pup. The guy was saying that you know it when you're still using a baby bottle. Howard played another clip where the guy was talking about what a power bottom is. That led to Howard asking George if he would consider himself a power bottom. George said not at all.
Howard played another clip of a guy talking about eating ass. The guy said he has eaten ass and felt like he could fall asleep in it. Memet asked what makes an ass so good that he'd want to fall asleep in it. The guy wasn't sure but then told Memet about how he could smell McDonald's in his boyfriend's sweat when he'd eat that kind of food.
Howard asked if George has ever fallen asleep in Brad's ass. George said he has not. Howard asked about the play and how much work they're putting into that. George said it's exhausting because they're still making changes to it. He said that the reviewers will be coming from Wednesday on. He said that they will know they're there. George said he'd rather not know though. He said that they try to do every performance like there is a reviewer there. George said that they are sold out for the opening. He said they have overflow into Saturday night. Howard asked when he gets his million back. George said when they break even. He said some shows have done that in 9-10 months.
Howard said the feud might be good for both of them. George said he is there pumping it up again. Howard said George doesn't care what Shatner says. Howard said George follows Shatner on Twitter and he doesn't follow him back. George said he's just doing that to keep an eye on him. He said he sent Bill a hand written invitation asking him to come to the Allegiance play but all he heard was from his assistant saying that they got the invitation.
Howard asked if Bill could sit through the play. George said he doesn't know. George said he never responds to anything that they invite him to. Howard asked if there are any celebrities coming to the play. George said here are a few politicians who may come.
Howard played some Donald Trump clips that he had. George said he was invited to do something with Trump for the Miss USA Pageant and he thought about doing it. He said he could have gotten in a plug for Allegiance.
Howard said George is their guest today and they have a lot to get to today. Howard said they will talk more to George since he's always up to something. Howard gave him a plug for the play and said you can find out more at AllegianceMusical.com
Howard said that Gary has a friend who got him tickets to the Mets. Gary said that friend offered them to him. He didn't go to the guy. Howard said Scott thinks he's entitled to that. Gary said that Scott was offended that he took Richard to the game. He said Richard is fun. Howard said Gary has had Scott to his house 3 times and Gary has never been to Scott's house. Gary said Scott is an angry dude. Howard said he does see himself as a victim.
Gary said the sad truth is that he and Scott aren't friends. He said he likes him but he's not his friend. He said they went to a Met game 30 years ago and now he's stuck to him the rest of his life. Howard said Scott thinks he should have taken him. Gary said he does. Howard said Gary paid for his tickets. Gary said he did.
Howard said Scott refuses to come in the studio because he has nothing to say. Gary said if he does come in he'll just say he was told to say that stuff. Gary said the tweet really pissed him off on Saturday night. He said that Scott probably took someone else's picture and used that to tweet out. Howard said Gary didn't get free stuff other than the Cracker Jack. Howard asked why T-Mobile is handing out free stuff. Gary said everything is sponsored.
Scott came in and said that he took the screen grab of Gary himself. Scott said that it was just a joke. He said he went to a game and got his own tickets. He said he's not upset with Gary. He said he was just busting balls. Gary said he called him a selfish prick. Scott said he was joking. Gary said he should be honest. Scott said he went to a division game and he had a conversation with him about not being mad at him. Gary asked why he called him a selfish prick. Scott said that's what goes on around there.
Gary pointed out that Scott has never had him to his house. Scott said no one has come to his house. He said he does appreciate Gary inviting him to his house though.
Howard asked if they were broken hearted about the Mets losing. Scott said it was kind of a let down. Gary said he was hugely disappointed. Howard said Richard was on TV a lot. He said he watches the Royals games at a bar and the TV crews go to the bar and Richard is always there drinking. Howard said it's kind of weird. Howard said he has tape of that. Howard played a song parody about Richard and his obsession with Halloween. Howard also played a clip of Richard being interviewed at John Brown's Smokehouse which is where he watches the games. Howard asked how his drinking was at the game. Gary said he only had a couple of beers. He said he was really fun to be around. In the news clip Richard was talking about how the Royals really want the win this season. Howard said this was CBS and Richard was on like every network doing interviews.
Richard came in so Howard asked if he was crying last night. Richard said he was. He said he called his dad. Howard asked if he watched the whole game. Richard said he did. He said he was 11 the last time they won a World Series. He said his wife ran the marathon yesterday too so he was up early. He said she did it in 3:32. George said his best time is 3:39 and Brad is 3:14. Howard said that's when he was a race horse. Richard said he was up at 9:00 and started drinking around 11. Howard said he left the bar after 1:00am. Richard said he was in there the whole day. Howard said he's such a derelict. Howard asked how many drinks he had. Richard said he really paced himself. He said he had maybe 6 or 7. Howard said ''bullshit!'' Richard said he was taking it easy yesterday. Howard said he sat in a bar from 11am to 1am. JD said he was there and he didn't drink that much. Richard just sat and talked to people and drank a lot of water.
Howard played another clip of Richard being interred at the bar which is in Long Island City. They had Richard yelling ''Go Royals!'' Howard said he's so fucking weird. Howard asked Richard to make a statement about the team. Richard said he's going to cry. He started to talk about how great the game was and he was trembling as he spoke. He sounded like he was about to cry. Richard talked about how he and his dad used to go see them play and it meant so much to him when he called his dad last night. Robin asked if his dad was crying too. Richard said no. Howard said George just whispered that Richard is too gay. Howard said Richard is a power bottom for sure. George was laughing his ass off at that. Richard asked if he can blow him. George said he knows his wife. Richard said he's friends with Brad so it should be okay. George was laughing at all of these comments.
Howard asked Scott if this is all killing him. Scott said it's not. He said he's happy for Richard. He said the Mets have a good basis for the next couple of years so he's trying to be positive. Howard said Richard is crying because the Royals won and he's crying because he let Scott in the studio.
Howard said he has a phony phone call that they made using Michael Rapaport clips. Howard said it's funny how straight guys turn gay when they trash talk guys. Howard said that they took a bunch of those clips and called a gay phone sex line. Howard played the call and they had Rapaport talking to a gay phone sex guy with those trash talk clips. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said he talked about the Mets. He said he didn't know there was a final game. Robin said she was shocked when she woke up and found out that it was over. Howard said he's not that into it so he didn't know ether.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it's great to hear George on today. Howard said he heard one inning of game 2 of the World Series and he didn't have the patience to sit through it. Howard said they were talking about this back pain stuff during that game and he thought about Dr. Sarno. Howard said this guy David Wright missed out on the season because of his back pain. Howard said he should read Sarno's book. Howard said he got so frustrated with that.
Howard asked George if he's a fan. George said that he's not as he probably suspected. Howard said that's such a stereotype. George said that the stereotypes are there because there is some element of truth to them. Howard said George is more into the Tony's and Emmys. George said he is. Howard asked if he thinks he'll be nominated this year. George said he doesn't even think about that. Howard said that's bullshit. He said he must fantasize about it.
Howard asked George what he would say if he won a Tony. George started to make a speech and Howard put echo on his voice so he'd sound like he was at the Tony's. Howard said that he was putting the audience to sleep though. George said he can't do what he does without Brad. He said Brad takes so much of the load of what he has to do. Howard heard that and said ''He takes the load?'' George said he has to be so careful about what he says on this show. George said he has a whole slew of names he has to thank. Howard played him off the stage.
Howard got back to the caller and asked what he had. The caller said that the world wouldn't know who George was if Howard didn't ask all of these wonderful questions. Howard asked if George will say ''fuck you'' to William Shatner. George said he did that at his roast. He said he doesn't think about the Tony Award thing. Howard said he hopes he wins so he can see Bill's face. George said he will be one of those that he does thank.
The caller said he heard before Halloween that Heidi Klum was going to dress like Jessica Rabbit and he saw her and didn't get a boner like he thought he would. Howard said she knows what he means. Howard said she always has these people with her and she was almost in a complete 20 hour make up job to make her look like that. Howard said there is some sort of business element going on there and he's not sure what it is. He said he hopes it has something to do with a charity.
JD came in and said that it was held at a club called Lavo and they have celebrities there all the time. Howard said he hates Halloween so much. Howard said people act like idiots when they wear costumes. Howard said people egg other peoples homes and stuff. He said it's an awful holiday. Howard said he puts candy out for the kids in his building and all of that but his main beef is that they decorate the lobby in his building and it makes the building look like a haunted house. He said he wouldn't mind it if they put some pumpkins and stuff out. Howard said in his building they have full on haunted house. He said it's bales of hay and skeletons and webs all over the lobby. George said they have a producer in Los Angeles who does that to his house. He said his whole house becomes a cemetery. He said they have a Witch going streaking across the street and he hires actors to roam around his yard. He said their street is the most crammed. He said that the local news covers it.
Howard said this stuff goes on 2 weeks before Halloween. He said last year Beth tripped over a bale of hay. He said it's so tacky. He said he contacted the board and asked if they can do something. He said he didn't want to be Scrooge but he has people who come over and they're business people and friends and family. Howard said he said something last year and this year they put out a few pumpkins and stuff. Howard said it was fine. He said that they got a message from the building saying that all of the children complained that there were no decorations. Howard said there are hardly any kids in his building. Howard said it's mostly people without kids. Howard said he thinks it's one guy who is into this stuff. Howard said that they said they were putting this stuff up for the kids. Howard said if you want your kids to see that shit then put it in your own house. Howard said this is a public space so do it in your private space. Howard said he doesn't buy this nonsense. Howard said he doesn't want it to look like a garbage dump down there. Howard said he is an adult and he's paying a lot to live there. Howard said every adult he runs into wonders what the fuck is going on there.
Howard said he got this message from his wife about the new decorations. Howard said he asked the building manager who the kids were. Howard said he wasn't able to get the guy on the phone. Howard said they decorated and it looks like a crazy house. Howard said they pulled out all of the stops. Howard said they pay for this shit with his condo fees. Howard said that the maintenance guy ran into him and said they were going to take that stuff down today. Howard said he realized he's the guy who is Scrooge there. Howard said he hates Halloween. Howard said he wasn't able to get a hold of anyone to complain to this year though. George said he should become a member of the board. Howard said he was but now his wife is. Howard said Beth is too nice. Howard said he goes in there like a maniac. Howard said she thinks he's insane. Howard said Beth thinks they're out of hand too. He said she gets him charged up and then he complains and then Beth will back down when they come to her.
Howard said Beth sees all of these dead or half dead animals when they go out. He said they were out the other day walking around and she sees a half dead mouse on the woods. He said that she asked what they were going to do. Howard said he thought it was just a mouse so he didn't want to do anything. He said it was a little baby mouse. Robin said Howard once ignored a bike being stolen as they were driving by. Howard said that he wasn't going to do anything about that. Howard said everyone signs him up to do shit.
Howard said he and Beth were looking at this mouse and it was on its last legs. Howard said he told her this is crazy. He said it's like saving a fly. Howard said it has gotten to the point where they're saving everything. Howard said they see this thing and they took it to the vet. He said they found out it's a vole, not a mouse. Howard said people hate these things. Howard said every article you read about them is how to kill them. Howard said they rescued a fucking vole. Howard said it turns out it had a scratch that caused brain damage and they had to put it down anyway.
George said dying is part of the whole process of life. Howard said he's captain obvious over there. George said that a friend of his told him that he has finally accepted death. George said that's been a part of his life for a long time. He said that life goes on. Howard asked how long he thinks he'll live. George said his grandmother lived to 104 and he hopes he inherited her genes. George said his father didn't live that long though. Howard asked what he should have done with the vole. George said that it's obeying the laws of nature. Howard said he knows that.
Howard said he's become the Red Cross for Vermin. Howard said he and Beth laughed at themselves after they found out it was a vole. Howard said they watch too many Disney movies. Howard said their life doesn't make sense. He said they feed the cats chicken and fish but they don't eat that stuff.
Robin said she had field mice at her house once. She said that she was walking through her foyer and the cats were playing with it. She said it was half alive. Robin said she realized she lives with animals that kill.
Howard said the guy from Happy Days, Al Molinaro died. Howard said he ran the diner on the show. Howard said that was the shittiest diner ever. Howard said the guy was 96 years old. Howard said there was a guy who was going to play Mork on the show and at the last minute he didn't make it so they turned to the cast asking who could play the part and Al recommended Robin Williams. Howard said the reason the guy who was going to play Mork thought it was a ridiculous premise. Howard said now the guy hangs with Pete Best. Howard said that he probably wanted to kill himself after seeing how Robin Williams did with that character.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Heidi Klum had lice. She said that she was sitting right next to Howard. Howard said he knew that. He said her kids got it and she got it from them. Howard said he and Howie were freaking the fuck out over that. Howard said that she said they were gone but she doesn't know that. Mariann said she's glad that he's gone from that shit show. She said she thinks that Simon is going to get rid of them all and the ratings are going to tank. Howard said he disagrees with her on that. Mariann asked if he will keep Heidi, Mel and Howie. Howard said he does not. Mariann said there are only 16 more shows on Sirius. Howard hung up on her in the middle of that.
Howard said he can't believe George didn't go to Leonard Nimoy's funeral. George said he just couldn't make it. He said he was a very good guy. Howard said that another Star Trek guy died too. George said that he had lost touch with him. He didn't go to his funeral either. George said he was a nice guy though. Robin said these funerals are inconvenient for him. George said he had lost touch with this Bruce Hyde guy. George said that Leonard did some to see the play when they were doing it in San Diego.
Howard said George was at a play called The Audience on the day that Leonard died. Howard said he should have hidden instead of going to the play. George said he had to return to rehearsals in New York for his own play. Howard said he has so much to get to but he has to take another break.
Howard said they took Robin's voice and had her rapping and singing songs for them. He said they took clips of her and called a show with Robin Rapping. Howard played the call that Chris Wilding made to a radio show using those clips of Robin singing. The hosts seemed to like what she was doing. Chris called in saying that was his mom. He eventually played Robin saying the N-word and the host didn't want to go along with that.
Howard said that was Robin Quivers, racist. Robin said she was quoting Truman when she said what she said. Those were not her words. George asked what the context of that was. Robin said he was writing his wife before she was his wife. That's how he wooed her.
Howard said 5 Seconds of Summer will be in soon. Howard played a Robin song parody they had to the tune of one of their songs. Howard said that they'll love that when they come in.
Howard said they were talking about the Mets and Royals and they have a player whose name is Rusty Kuntz. Howard said they call him ''Koonts'' when he comes out but it's ''Cunts.''
Howard said that Hillary Clinton went on High Pitch Eric's Periscope account to get votes. Howard played a bit they did with a Hillary Clinton impersonator and High Pitch Eric. They had her sticking a finger up Eric's ass to check his prostate. Howard said she gave up after that.
Robin said she looked up Rusty Kuntz and there were other names like Dick Pole, Pete LaCock and Chubby Cox.
Howard said they have a new Embedded coming up with Underdog Lady. Howard said that's on Friday after the Wrap Up Show. Howard said Shuli went and did that. Howard had Shuli come in to talk about that.
Shuli told Howard about how he was running late to get to her house and when he got there he heard this. He had Howard play a clip of her screaming that she was coming. Shuli said that she also dragged all of her sewing projects across the room when she came to the door. He said she's very intense with anything she's into.
Howard played another clip of Underdog Lady explaining what happened when she walked across the room and her sewing project got stuck to her shoe.
Howard said this is some special. Howard asked what they were doing with her down there. Shuli said they were going to go to the Cape May parade. He said she usually takes 4 busses to get there. He said they took her in the car. Shuli said they were trying to get her seatbelt on and she was having trouble. Underdog was screaming that she wasn't able to find ''the clamp.'' She was making weird noises and sounded like she was ready to cry. Howard said she was really upset. Shuli said she was breaking down and the driver asks if ''Everyone is good.''
Howard said they took Underdog, Suzanne, to the parade and someone yelled out Baba Booey. Suzanne said that it's been almost 25 years and they're still doing that. She said people like that should be taken off of the parade route. Shuli told her that people are yelling out Baba Booey at golf tournaments too. She said that's ridiculous. Howard said Shuli could win an award for this show.
Shuli said that Suzanne is all about winning the trophy at these things. He said she'll go to the judges if she sees someone with a clipboard. He said she'll ask if they have seen her costume. Howard asked if this is for children. Shuli said it is. He said she's the only one who is there with her own category.
Howard asked Shuli if he got to see her home. Shuli said he did. He said she has trophies all over the house. He said that she's been going to parades for decades. Howard asked if she complained that kids were winning because they don't make their own costumes and she does. Shuli said there were some discussions about that.
Shuli said that she loves doing what she does. He said she still does it even after all of the crap she takes from the fans. Howard said that Shuli had to tell his wife that he was going to the parade with her. Howard had a clip of Suzanne telling Shuli that he tell his wife that it's strictly business and not extramarital cheating. Howard congratulated Shuli on the new Embedded and said it will be on Friday on Howard 100 and 101 after the Wrap Up Show.
Howard said he talked to his mother over the weekend. Howard went into his impression of his mom. He said that she had a question for him. He said she asked about this guy that she knows from going to lunch. She said she saw him the other day talking into his watch. He said she asked if he knows about this. Howard said he knows about it. She asked what that is. Howard said she saw this maniac talking into his watch. Robin said that she must see the commercials. Howard said she's 88 years old. Howard said George seems to know about that stuff. Howard said a bunch of companies have these watches you can talk into. Howard wondered if you just get to an age where you're clueless. Howard said that he told her about the Apple watch and how that works. He said she asked if he's going to get one and he said he's not. Howard said he can't believe that she doesn't know what it is.
Howard did his mom and dad talking to him about the watch. Howard said his mom still calls a computer ''the machine.'' Howard had them talking about that. They don't have a computer. Howard said he thinks his dad would enjoy looking at porn on a computer. Howard said he would love to get them something. Howard said he got his parents a cell phone but they don't know how to use it. Howard said he doesn't know what happened to the phone they had. He said they used to keep it in the car but now they don't even have the car anymore. They went to break a short time later. They played a JD song parody as they were going to break.
Howard came back and said he has the band 5 Seconds of Summer in there. He said he was just helping the boys set up their instruments. Howard said that this is a big deal. Howard said they're having their Beatles moment. He said the girls are following them and all of that. The guys agreed that it is a big deal but the Beatles thing was flattering.
Howard said the guys met in high school. The guys talked about how they actually met in 7th grade. Howard said the whole thing sort of comes together. The guys said they come together and then meet their drummer. Howard introduced the guys and talked to Luke first. The guys said they put the best looking guy in front. Luke is the lead singer. Howard said the other guys are good looking too. They thanked him for that. Howard said he was always put in another room when he was in a band. Howard introduced Michael, Calum and Ashton. Howard said that Ashton is their drummer. He met them after the other guys were playing together already. Howard asked where he learned to drum. Ashton said that he used to play in a worship band.
Howard asked who came up with the name of the band. They pointed out one of the guys. Howard asked where that comes from. One of the guys said that they sued to post videos to YouTube and it took off from there. Howard said these guys just started posting stuff on YouTube and he thought that would never work. He said these guys got noticed though. Howard asked what the first video was. The guys said it was the three guys and Ashton wasn't there yet. They put up a song they were covering.
Howard asked how the guys got noticed. They said that they had a fan base in Australia and they had to transfer the YouTube thing to a live thing. They said that they got noticed that way.
Howard asked if their parents thought they were going to screw things up by doing this. The guys talked about that for a short time. One of the guys said that they played in a pub when they were in their teens. Howard said their success came kind of rapidly. They're in their late teens/early 20s now. Howard said it's amazing to him that they can make it like that. Howard said it's a remarkable rise to success.
Howard asked if they ever thought about going on X-Factor or something like that. One of the guys said he'd never go on a show like that because it seems kind of fake to him. Howard said the guys liked One Direction and they were put together on one of those shows. One Direction liked them and asked them to go out on tour with them. Howard said that they have millions of followers so they were instrumental in helping them get going. The guys talked about how they found out about the tour they were going to do with One Direction. They talked about how weird that was for them to do. They were being called a boy band anyway so it made sense to do it.
Howard said that hey don't want to be known as a boy band. They said there hasn't been a guitar band lately so it doesn't seem right to be called a boy band. The guys talked about how they play their own stuff and write their own stuff too. Howard asked if the record companies want to take control of their image right away. They said they just signed to the label 2 years ago. Howard said they were doing things on their own so why need a record company at all. They said they had momentum already so they waited for someone to come along.
Howard asked if they get pissed that they can play live but these other bands lip synch. The guys said they think it's fucking awesome. Howard said it drove him crazy on America's Got Talent that there were no bands that entered. The guys said they'd like to be the biggest band in the world and they had like 20 fans at the time. They though they could do great stuff and they were going to go for it. Howard said they got their own sub label too and they can sign bands they like. They said they did that for Hey Violet. They said they wanted to do something similar to what One Direction did for them.
Howard said when they write a song who comes up with the music. They talked about how Calum was one of the main song writers in the beginning but now they all do it. They said sometimes they pair up and write something. Ashton said he tries to write and the guys don't take him seriously.
Howard asked the guys about going back to school after touring. They said it is weird. One of the guys said he didn't graduate high school. The guys were all talking over one another and I wasn't able to tell their voices apart so I have no idea who was saying what.
The guys talked about the kind of music they like and what they grew up listening to. One of the guys said his dad was an AC/DC fan and that's pretty much all he listened to. The guys said that metal was big where they come from so that's a lot of what they heard.
Howard asked if they worry about becoming enemies some day. One of the guys said that they did turn to one another and said it was really fucking hard. Howard asked what the hard part is. They said it's not bad being away from home but you can't really go outside because it's not a normal life. Howard said that he knows what they're talking about. Howard said there are tons of girls and photographs being taken. One of the guys said he had to get out and walk because he thought he was going to throw up in the car. He said he was walking and said he really did want to take pictures with them but he felt like he was going to throw up.
Howard asked if they can go out in public at all. They said they can dress up for Halloween. One of the guys said that one of the others dressed up like Brett Michaels. Howard said the fans must love them. One of the guys said that they may look back on it one day and think about how lucky they were to have these fans.
Howard said with female fans they don't want to hear about who they're dating. The guys said they have to realize who their audience is and be careful talking about that stuff. They said that it's not appropriate. They said they would like some things to just be theirs.
Howard said it's tough because in this day and age you have to have part reality show and part rock star. He said that back in the day no one knew who was doing what. He said today you have to keep feeding the monster. He said he thinks it must be much harder today than it was years ago.
Howard asked the guys if they get on each other's nerves. One of the guys said they do and they have to know when to give each other space. Howard asked if anyone is doing a solo album or anything. One of the guys said that they were asked about that the other day. He said that they all have creative freedom in this band so they have a lot of different sounds on the album. He said that's not normal for a band.
Howard asked who makes the final decision on the songs that get on the album. The guys said they all pretty much agree on what's going to get on. They told Howard how it works for them.
Howard asked if it's getting to be too much pressure. The guys said they're just writing what they want to write and they haven't really had a smash hit with anything from this one yet. They talked about how personal the songs are for them.
Howard said they're going to perform the song ''She's Kinda Hot'' and that's how he got turned on to them. Howard asked who wrote that song. The guys told Howard who wrote it and he asked if they get paid more for that. They said they don't. They do things collaboratively.
Howard asked if the song is about a chick who is hot. They said it's actually not. They said it goes deeper than that. Howard asked if it's about a chick being hot because she's into something. They said it's more about how it's okay to be who you are.
Howard asked one of the guys in the band about going to a shrink. Howard told them about how he was in therapy for 4 days a week for a while. Howard said he's mad.
Howard asked the guys to perform the song ''She's Kinda Hot'' and he'd try to figure out what the song is about by listening intently. They performed the song for Howard.
After the song Howard said he loved that. He said that's fucking good. Howard said they're playing and singing. They said ''Thanks dad!'' Howard asked if they rehears a lot. They said they used to do that 6 days a week. Howard said the song is still exciting to perform. The guys said they did learned that song in sound check when they were on tour. That's the only time they get to rehearse these days. Howard said they must need to decompress at some point. He said they need time to sit down and write. One of the guys said they don't usually write on tour. They take time off after a tour and then write.
Howard asked how girls get to bang them. The guys said they don't get time. Howard said bullshit. The guys told Howard what a day is like for them. One of the guys told Howard they listen to Whitesnake and drink Whiskey on Wednesdays. He said they have people on the bus and it's not appropriate to do that stuff. Howard said Gary did tell him that they have a lot of people there with them. They wondered why they have so many. Howard asked if they fight over money. They said they split everything equally.
Howard said he's wondering who is paying for all of those people out there. One of the guys said they don't need to know how every cent is spent but they will find out thanks to an accountant. One of the guys said they know that everyone out there is doing something. He said that everyone is working real hard so it's cool. Howard asked if they can name each of the guys. They said they could do that.
Howard said they're going to do a cover of American Idiot and they're big fans of Green Day. The guys said they wanted to meet with them but they had to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They were going to write with Billie but he had to do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame thing.
Howard got back to their day and what they do. Howard said one of the guys tried to date Taylor Swift. They said it was more like an attempt to talk to her and she never replied. They talked about how they went to a party she had and one of the guys tried to talk to her. Howard said Taylor is very hot to him. The guys agreed. Howard asked if the guys would have sex with her. One of the guys said he doesn't think he would. Howard said they should all date her as a band.
One of the guys said that he has tried to have a relationship but it's very hard when they are out touring. The guy said that she was a model type. He said he had been with her for about a year and had only been with her for about 2 months out of that year.
Howard said the guys are going to pay tribute to Green Day right now. Howard said this is 5 Seconds of Summer performing ''American Idiot.'' The guys went right into the song after that.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked if that is fun for them to play their music. They said not at this time of day. Howard said he loves that. Howard asked if they played cover tunes a lot when they started out. One of the guys said they did that when they got together. Howard said he noticed that they can all sing really well which is unusual. One of the guys said that it is. Howard said harmonies are very important to them. They said they are. Robin said they won't have that lead singer problem that so many bands have.
Howard said the guitar player can really play. He said they all play really well. Howard said you don't see that a lot these days. Howard asked when they started playing. One of the guys said he was like maybe 10.
Howard asked how much effort they put into what they wear. One of the guys said this morning he was running late so he didn't put much thought into it. One of the guys said they have to have a certain look and the skinny jeans are part of that for some reason.
Howard asked if George Takei is digging this. One of the guys said his friend is like George's biggest fan. Howard asked George what he would do to these guys if he was 20 years younger. George just said ''Oh myyy.''
Howard asked the guys to do another song for them. Howard said their new album is called ''Sounds Good Feels Good'' and they're going to do a song off of that. The song is called ''Hey Everybody.'' Howard talked to them about how people are saying it sounds a lot like a Duran Duran song. They said that they did realize that. They said that they did some research and found that people would smile before even hearing the lyrics because they recognized it. One of the guys told Howard he's living in a hotel and doesn't own a house. Howard said he understands that because he's so busy but where does he keep everything. The guy said he has to pack it all up. Howard said that would drive him crazy. The guys said they get used to it.
Howard had the guys perform their song after that. Howard asked what they're saying in this song. They said that they're saying that everyone can get paid and money isn't everything. They performed their song after that.
After the song Howard said they're looking good. Howard said they're rockin' man. Howard said he still loves watching a band play. He said it's the best. The guys thanked him for letting them do it. Howard said it's really good. Howard said he's amazed with their band because they trade off vocals and they can sound similar. Howard said it's hard to tell they're trading off vocals sometimes. The guys said the fans like to know who sings what and they can keep it fresh like that.
Howard asked if they worry about fucking up a song. The guys said they don't really worry about it too much. Ashton said that he feels uncoordinated at times and it's hard to sing and do a vocal at the same time. He said he really struggles. One of the guys said one of the songs was mostly Aston singing it but they trade off because it's tough for him to do the whole thing.
Howard asked Calum about Snapchatting his penis and what happened there. Calum said he was flying somewhere and saw that it was out there. Howard asked if he was upset about it. Calum said he wasn't that upset about it. Howard asked who the girl was that he Snapchatted to. Calum said he hates to say it but he can't remember. The guys said that everyone Snapchats their penis. Howard asked George if he'd like to see that picture. George said of course.
Howard asked the guys if they drink a lot and if anyone has a problem. One of the guys said they want to have a good time so they have to be careful. They said they can't come on the Howard Stern Show drunk. Ashton said he had one beer before coming on stage one night and he played the worst drums of his life. He said he just can't do it. Howard said he's not sure how the bands did it back in the day on heroin and all of that. The guys agreed and weren't sure how they did it.
Howard said that he thinks they should stick to drinking and not do the other stuff. The guys said they want to keep it together so they are taking it easy. They said they do party at times though. They said they had a number one album in the United States so they will party. One of the guys said they'll end up going to a pub having a beer to party. They said the girls will have to find them. Howard asked what happened to the days of groupies. Howard said that they would get on the bus with them. The guys said there was a story in Nikki Sixx's book about how they picked the girls out of a line. Howard said he knew a guy who would get a blow job every few minutes. Howard said it's crazy.
Howard said the guys had some male strippers come to their room once. The guys said some fans were playing a trick on them. They said that they thought they were being burgled. They just hid.
Howard asked the guys if they're going to try to become citizens. The guys said they might. Howard said that Trump might build a wall and try to keep them out. Howard spent a minute talking about Trump and how good he is on this show.
Howard asked what one of the guys was playing on guitar. He was just playing a G chord. Howard asked what he has in his head that he wants to play for the other guys. He played something rockin' so Howard asked them to play some metal for him. They went into a song for him that was more rockin' than anything else they had played so far. Howard said that's beautiful. He said he and Fred have to get into a band. Robin said they never rock like that. The guys said no one would like their band if they played stuff like that. George said you can hear the passion and joy in their playing. One of the guys said they're just having a good time.
Howard said that George would like them to perform live. The guys said they did think about doing that. Howard said the Red Hot Chili Peppers did that.
Howard said he likes what they're doing. He said it seems like they're on track. Howard said they're taking measures to make sure they don't get on each other's nerves too much. The guys told Howard this is probably the first cool show they've done. Howard said he loves seeing a new band that knows how to play. He said he's old school. Howard said he throws bands out that don't know how to play. Howard said he's friends with Leslie West of Mountain. He told them to look him up. Howard told the guys to keep up what they're doing. He said he's seen a lot of bands go down. Howard threw out the name Yoko. Howard said if anyone gets a Yoko call him. Howard said the girls don't need to come to rehearsal. Howard said if you see someone doing coke send them right to rehab. Howard said he knows something about this. He said he actually knows nothing. He wrapped up and told the guys they did a great job today. He gave them a plug for the new album and their web site. He told them to be careful going to strip clubs. Howard said that they have to be careful out there. Howard said he's going to keep an eye on them and contact them if he sees something going wrong. He wrapped up and went to break after that. They played Def Leppard performing ''Pour Some Sugar On Me'' as they were going to break.
George asked Howard how he found out about his investment in the play because he doesn't want it known. He said he isn't billed as an investor. He said that he wants to know how Howard found out. Howard said he can't reveal his sources. George sad he's an extraordinary investigator. He said he's still taking investments if he wants to invest. Howard said no thanks to that. Howard gave George some plugs for his musical which opens on Sunday. Howard said he's shot out of cannon about this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said those guys are not on the radar for his fan base but he thinks that his mom and dad should have a segment on the show every day. Howard went into his impression of his mother for a short time. Howard said he has stories about her but they don't have time today.
Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody about her. That had George cracking up. George laughed through the whole song. Howard said George really likes that. Howard said what's great about that song is the look on George's face and the laugher he has for it. Howard said he loves it. George said he sees Robin right there and she's just at peace with the world. Robin said the juxtaposition makes him laugh.
Howard had Robin get to her news. Robin started off with a story about how researchers are saying your cat might be thinking about killing you. Robin said they have personalities like African lions. Robin said some studies suggest that your cat might want to get rid of you.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom who wasn't really paying attention. Howard said she called him so what's up. She didn't believe it was Howard. Robin had to chime in and tell her it was them. Then Tan Mom just laughed. She said she's so hot right now. She said she just got out of the gym. Tan Mom asked what's up with someone going on a date. Howard had no idea what she was talking about. Tan Mom said that little short person she yells at all the time asked her out. They guessed it was Ronnie and maybe it was a phony phone call. Tan Mom said he always touches her when she's in the studio. She said that she might go out. Howard said she comes in there with those nice titties and then she expects not to get hit on. Tan Mom said it was unexpected. Howard said she wears those sexy outfits with that tan and she turns them on. She said he called her out of the blue. Howard said she can't look that sexy and not expect it. Tan Mom said that this came out of the blue though. Howard said he wants her. Howard asked if she has ever looked at herself in the mirror. She said she tends not to. Howard said Ronnie can't stop talking about her. Howard said he wants her so bad. Tan Mom said unless he has 50 million dollars it's not going to happen. Howard said if she wants guys like Ronnie to stop looking at her she's going to have to lose her looks. Tan Mom laughed.
Howard asked if it's true that she's going to be named Sexiest Woman Alive by People Magazine. Tan Mom went with that. She said it's true. Tan Mom said that she's going to knock someone's head off after getting out of the gym. Howard asked if it's true that she's going to get it on with Sal's wife. Tan Mom said no way to that. She said she'd do it. Howard said he knows she would. Howard told her not to work out so much, she's too hot. Howard said she has to tone it down. Howard let her go after that and then did a live commercial read.
Howard asked George if he knew what commercial he just did. George knew it was Zip Recruiter. Howard said he just wanted to make sure he was paying attention. Howard had him do another announce after that.
Robin got back to her news and read about what Jared from Subway was in the news for. Robin had some audio of Jared talking to a reporter and saying some creepy stuff about kids. Howard played the clip and said that this was from Dr. Phil and they play sinister music over it. Howard said it's not necessary over that. Howard said it would be funny if he played happy music over it. Robin said Jared was talking to the woman asking if she would have sex with a young boy while he had sex with a young girl. Howard said she's not very good at the phone sex thing. Howard played more of the creepy audio with the sinister music playing over it. Howard said that asshole just had to plug Subway and he was a millionaire.
Howard said that George had a guy molest him when he was a young boy. George said he was 14 but he enjoyed it. He said he loved the guy's golden forearm hair. He said he thinks he was 18 or 19. Howard said these days you'd be put right in jail for that. George said it was terrifying but delicious at the same time. Howard asked for someone to please play the sinister music. Fred played some over that discussion. George said he told the guy that he admired his arm hair. He said that he followed up on that later that night. George said that guy jerked him off and he just touched the guy. Howard said it sounds like he was into it. George said it was a new adventure for him. Howard said he'd like to remind everyone that Jared from Subway is a creep. Howard said George was a victim in a sense. George laughed. Howard said he's having a hard time proving he was a victim. Howard said maybe the 19 year old was the victim.
George said he saw that guy later in the news. He said there was a spate of airline hijackings in the 70's and he saw that guy as one of the guys getting off one of those planes. He said he had a bit more flesh on him. He said he saw him and said ''That's him. That's Larry.'' Howard said he can't believe that arm hair turned him on. George said it was golden in color. He said it was fantastic. He said it looked very sexy to him. He said when that guy jerked him off he was staring at the 19 year old's penis. He said it was pendulous. Howard said he hopes that's in the play. George laughed. Howard started to sing a song about the golden arm haired man. Howard was singing it in the Broadway musical style. He had George cracking up again. George said he's sorry he came there again today. George said he wants to hear Robin's news. Howard continued singing about the man and his golden arm hair jerking him off. George said Howard is good at lyrics. Howard said he is. He sang that answer to George. Howard said if he has a song like that in the play he'll invest in it. Howard said he'll even sit through it. He gave him a plug for the play which opens on Sunday.
Howard asked George about his play and what the songs are about. George said they are about hope. Howard asked where he came when the arm hair guy jerked him off. Howard broke into song again. George didn't even get to answer. George asked Robin to get to her news.
Robin got back to her news and read about Carly Fiorina complaining about the women on The View criticizing her over her smile during the last debate. Howard told her to shut up. Robin had a clip of the women on The View talking about her. Howard said everyone is getting it just as bad as her. Howard said they pick on Chris Christie, Hillary Clinton and everyone else. Robin said she'd suggest that she just keep campaigning. She said everyone gets picked apart for their looks and what they say. Howard played a bit they put together where they said you can hear Trump's thoughts during the last debate. George said he's supporting him for the republican nomination. Robin said that's because George is a democrat. Robin had some audio of Carly talking about those comments and how she was on the show and they didn't say it to her face. Howard said of course they didn't say it to her face. Carly said maybe she'll go on that show again and see if they have the guts to say to her face.
Howard asked George about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz and what he thinks about them. George said he likes their looks. He said he doesn't agree with their politics. Howard asked if they were in the Rambles if he would do them. George didn't have a straight answer. Howard asked if he would do Paul Ryan or Marco Rubio. George said he'd probably pick Paul Ryan. Howard said he's a muscular guy. George said that Marco is too fleshy faced. Howard gave him an F, Marry, Kill of Obama, Ted Cruz and Paul Ryan. Howard said he has to fuck one, marry one and kill one. George said he'd probably fuck Ted Cruz. He would marry Obama and Kill Paul Ryan. Howard told him he has to go on looks only. Howard was confused by the whole thing because George was confused about who was in it so he gave up. Howard gave George Chris Christie or Hillary Clinton. George said he'd rather do it with a woman than a fat man. He picked Hillary.
Robin read about how people are pushing ABC to fire Raven Symone from The View. Robin said that she got into a debate in July about religious liberty. She also took heat recently saying that she wouldn't hire someone with a ghetto name. Howard asked who cares. Robin had some audio of some of her comments. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about baseball season being over. Robin said the Mets did not come out on top. Robin said they lost to the Kansas City Royals last night. Fred played a Baba Booey song parody while they were talking about that. Robin read about how the Royals are going to have a parade. Howard said he hates fucking parades. He said he's against every parade out there. Robin had some audio of some Mets fans commenting on the loss.
Robin read a story about the Halloween parade that was held in the village this year. Robin said she saw some people wearing Bill Cosby costumes. Howard said there's a great costume of a guy dressed like a woman with Bill Cosby on her back. Howard said he saw it and forwarded it to like 50 people. He said Natalie Maines sent it to him. Howard said he thought the costume was great. He said he's all for blasting that guy. Howard said he dressed up like the camp counselor who molested George Takei. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a new Star Trek series going into production. Robin said it should hit TV in 2017. Howard asked George if he'd like to be part of it. George said he'd like to be an alien on the show that sounds like him. Howard said he can see him doing that. Howard said they could disguise him. Robin said they're coming up to the 50th anniversary of the show. George said he shot the pilot 50 years ago in 1965. Howard said the show is still a big deal. George said another feature film is coming out next year too. Howard said he'd love to see him in the new film as an alien. Howard said they should be able to slip him into it. Howard said you'd think that Shatner would mellow out after 50 years.
Robin read a story about Paul Ryan taking over as Speaker of the House and had some audio of him talking about what they have to do to make congress work.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw George's play in early October. He said it was great. George said they get spontaneous standing ovations at the play. He said people do like it.
Robin read a story about Jeb Bush trying to restart his campaign so he's got a new slogan of ''Jeb Can Fix It.'' Robin had some audio of Jeb talking about the campaign. George said if he can't fix his campaign he won't be able to fix what his brother screwed up. Howard wondered if he has nice arm hair. George said he's sorry he even brought that up.
Robin read a story about George Patacki and how he's trying to get some traction. Robin said that he's counting on voters to get over what's going on right now. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. George said the most formidable man they could nominate is Marco Rubio.
Robin read about the NYC marathon and had some audio of people talking about the race. Howard said he admires the people who are still out there running today.
Robin read about Al Molinaro dying. They spent a minute talking about him and then wrapped up the show. Howard thanked George for coming in. Howard gave him some plugs and Fred played his ''Hey boner'' clip. They were done around 11:30am.
Jon asked Rahsaan what he has for a poll question today. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Who Would You Rather Attend a Mets World Series Game With?'' and the choices were:
Jon said he has been to a game with all of those guys. He said it's a varied experience depending on who you go with. He said Richard is a fun guy to hang out with. He said he's been to football and baseball games with Scott too. He said he's pretty quiet. He said Gary has a lot of spunk at he shows. He said JD tries to avoid everyone and just spends time with you.
Jon said he wants to talk about how Scott and Gary got into it. He said that Scott didn't sound like he was joking to him in that Beef of the Week clip they played. Jon said that he never thinks that this stuff comes out of the blue. He said that Gary got the tickets from a friend but he did pay for them. He said Scott shouldn't say he's joking if he's not joking. He said he felt there was some serious tension coming from Scott. He said this is the one time his team is in the series and Scott was upset about it but Gary came in pissed. He said Gary hasn't been to Scott's house but Scott has been to his house a few times. Rahsaan said that Gary might have made the right decision taking Richard instead of Scott.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't take the polls usually but this one is a no brainer for him. He said the choice is Gary. He said Gary can carry a conversation. He said he thinks that Scott would complain about everything. He started to go off on JD but his phone cut off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary is not a legitimate sports fan. He said he cringes when he hears him talking about sports. The caller said you don't take a fan of the opposite team with you to a game like that. Jon said with Gary he may not know as much about sports as other people but he is a fan. He asked if he's really never taken a fan of another team to the game. The caller said he wouldn't even bring his mother. Jon said the guys break his balls all the time there and he won't have certain team members on his fantasy football team. They went to break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Gary is just burning bridges. He said he unfriended Howard last week and he is fighting with Scott now. Gary asked how he's the one burning the bridge when Scott is the one who is starting with him on Twitter. The caller asked who unfriends their boss. Gary said they talked about this last week. He said it's not a traditional work place. Jon said they talked a lot about that last week. He asked if Gary did the wrong thing not asking Scott to go to the game. The caller said not necessarily. Gary asked who is burning the bridge there. The caller said he's making a good point and he has changed his mind.
Jon said when Howard played that Beef of the Week of Scott's Gary was angry. Gary said he heard that one at home and Mary went ''Really!?'' and he told her that it was for the show. He said he knows Scott did it for the show but almost everyone there told him that Scott was talking shit about him behind his back. Gary said the tweet really set him off. He said he thought he was just picking on him with that. Jon said in this case he thinks Scott was trying to say he was just kidding but he didn't even go that far with that. Gary said Scott didn't even do that. He said he said that's just the way the show goes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Scott was real nice about it today when Gary railed into him. Gary asked how he was nice. He said that Scott tweeted shit about him and he had no explanation for it today. The caller said it was a beef he had last week. He said Gary sounded like a jerk today. Gary asked if it was okay for Scott to Tweet what he did. The caller said he just thought Gary came off really bad today.
Jon asked the caller who he would bring to a game. The caller said that he'd bring Richard. Gary said of course. He said he thinks anyone would want to go somewhere with Richard. Gary said Richard showed up with his lovely wife and they were in full Royals outfits and they weren't rubbing it in people's faces. He said the next night the whole section was Royals fans and they were irritating him because they were so nice. He said it was like hanging out with Richard's dad.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Gary but he's a fucking monkey. He said that he just got done saying it's not a conventional job but then he complains about Scott tweeting about him. He also went off on Gary for bringing a Royals fan to a Mets game. He said you just don't do that. He said he's a jinx assed monkey but they love him. Gary said he brought Richard because he loves his team and he loves baseball. He said he likes hanging out with the guy too. He said he thought it would be nice to do for him.
Jon said he would bring JD to a game just because he's JD. Rahsaan said he thinks that the fans are hating on Gary just to hate on him. They also talked about Scott not inviting Gary to his house. They went to break a short time later.
The caller said he thought George was great today. He said as soon as he hears him he has a smile on his face. He said he also thought JD was great in the Edgar Allan Poe stuff this weekend. Jon said they'll let JD know about that. Gary said that George is so real on the show and he talked about the camp thing and said it was terrifying, horrifying and delicious.
Jon said he hopes that George's play does very well and hopes that everyone out there goes and sees it. Jon said Sunday nights are bad for the show because people have to work in the morning. Gary said that he has been talking about this play for the past 10 years. He said that this thing is on Broadway and the commercials have been running for 6 months now.
Jon said that word is getting to him now that Scott was pressed into doing the Beef of the Week thing. Gary said Scott was mad and he asked him if he had any connections for tickets. Gary said he told Scott he did but he was using them for himself but Scott hears it in a different way than he actually said it.
Jon said they have to talk about Halloween a bit. Gary asked if he surprised at how much Howard hates it. Jon said he isn't really. Gary said he doesn't like it because he doesn't like getting dressed up in costumes. He said he's shocked at how upset Howard gets over decorations. Gary said he's more like live and let live with that stuff but don't make him dress up in a costume. Jon said that it seems like more and more the adults are getting dressed up but don't expect everyone to be on board with it. Gary said he doesn't have a problem with the adults getting dressed up. He said he's cool with it but don't force him into it.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she thinks Scott is being a butt hurt baby about the whole Mets game thing. Gary said that he and Scott went to the games in 1986 but there are only so many tickets to go around.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about 5 Seconds of Summer if they thought that their heavy metal stuff sounded better than their normal sound. Jon said he thought it sounded great. Gary said he did too. Jon said that said they can rock and that's how they prove that they can. Jon and Gary spent a little time talking about that interview.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of today's poll. Rahsaan said that the people picked Richard with 46 percent and Gary with 30 percent. Then it was Scott with 13 percent and JD had only 10 percent. Jon got in some plugs and then wrapped up the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about how he was thinking. He said they do 112 shows a year and he was thinking they could work around the clock for this week and they would fulfill their contract. Howard said they'd be done for the rest of the year. Robin asked how long they'd have to work. Howard said maybe 48 hours or so. Howard said it sounds like a good idea until you have to do it.
Howard said he was telling his multiple boyfriends from the back office about his email. Howard said he should share some of it one day. Howard said for anyone who is successful everything in his inbox is an advertisement or a request from someone to do something like appear on a TV show or give a quote for a movie or write an opening for a book or something like that. Howard said it's always people asking him to do them a favor. He said people ask him to call friends because they're not feeling well and things like that. Howard said every person writing him thinks they're the only person asking for something. Howard said it's never ''how are you'' it's just kind of like ''do you think you could do this.
Howard said he was going through his email last week at some point. Howard said he hasn't heard from one of his comedy heroes in a long time. Howard said it's Gary Shandling. Howard said the guy is brilliant. He said he's not sure why he's not on the scene. He said he heard he does comedy gigs. He said that the Larry Sanders show is one of his favorites of all time. Howard said he saw Gary about 2 years ago at Jimmy Kimmel's house. Howard said he saw that Gary sent him an email last week. Howard said he reads the email and it says ''Hi, how are you... can I ask you a favor?'' Howard said he was like ''Here we go...'' and he shows it to Beth. Howard said he has been burned so much by this kind of thing. Howard said he didn't ask what the favor was and he was going to delete it. Howard said he left it in his inbox though. Howard said with his emails he makes sure that he clears it out of there. Howard said he likes to have zero email in his inbox and he has done that occasionally.
Howard said he was not going to respond to this email because he's had it with everyone. Howard said there's no telling what the favor was going to be. Robin asked if he responds and asks what the favor is... Howard said he was too angry to respond. He said if he asks what the favor is then it opens it up to doing the favor. Howard said this was like two weeks ago that it started. Howard said he was going to write back ''I am fine'' and that's it. Howard said he was ducking the email. He said he wanted to address it in some way even if he deleted it. Howard said he didn't do that because it's the great Gary Shandling. Howard said days go by and he's wondering what to do. Howard said if he writes him back he has to tell him no. Howard said he's not good at saying no.
Howard said he went back and forth for a week with this. Howard said he finally said he was going to do something. Howard said he looked at it and said he didn't want to blow off Gary Shandling because he admires the guy. Howard said he wondered how he even got his email. Howard said he must have corresponded with him at some point. Howard said he wrote back ''I am fine.'' He said he responded to him and didn't answer the loaded question about the favor. Howard said he should have asked ''May I ask you a favor'' anyway. Howard said it actually said ''How you'' and he left out the are. Howard said he wrote Gary back and hit send. Howard said within one minute he gets a response. Howard burped and said he has to play a Jeff the Drunk clip later that will make everyone vomit.
Howard said Gary Shandling gets back to him in a minute. Howard said he sees there is a long paragraph. He said he reads the paragraph and it's about a friend that he has in another country and he needs $5,000 and he needs $2,000 of that. Howard said it turns out his account was hacked and it's one of those spam things. Howard said Gary wasn't asking for a favor at all. Howard said he called his IT guy Matt and asked if he was hacked too. He said he's not but he was wasting his time with this for 2 weeks. Howard said Robin actually fell for one of these things. Robin said she did but it was early on. Howard told Robin to contact him when that happens again. Robin said it was after she went through the trouble of wiring her money. She said she ended up getting it back though. She realized it wasn't real and she stopped the wire service from sending it.
Howard said Robin is getting hammered over that. Howard said she's always getting that narcissistic thing. Howard said that he was listening to that pastor there and he wonders if that's what her conclusion was. Robin said that was her Ayahuasca conclusion. Robin said all she said is that her life belongs to her. She said she doesn't tell anyone else what to do. She said that this guy has to prepare his sermon every week and this is what he was looking at. Howard said it's great.
Howard said on Friday Sarah Silverman will be hosting Sternthology. Howard said that the Underdog Lady Embedded will be airing on Friday too. Howard said he went back and listened to 5 Seconds of Summer yesterday and they were very good musicians. Fred agreed. He said they're barely 20 and they're having the time of their life. Fred said they don't just play their own stuff and it's not a manufactured group. Howard said he had a lot of people complaining that he had them on the show. Howard said he thought they were good musicians and they were entertaining to talk to. Howard said some people liked that he had them on. Howard said some people are such assholes.
Howard read through some of the email about 5 Seconds of Summer and some other stuff. Howard said he spoke out about the situation in Israel and that got him some coverage in the news. Howard said Roger Waters made a statement in the news and he commented on that and Roger ended up calling him an asshole in Rolling Stone. Howard said he watches and reads and he's pretty astute. Howard said he knows it's become popular not to support Israel. Howard said they're our friends in the middle east. Howard said there is an attitude that they don't belong there. Howard said he spoke out about that and Roger Waters didn't have an intelligent response and just called him an asshole. Howard said he doesn't agree with Roger. He said he doesn't tell people where not to perform. He said Roger came off like an Anti-Semite. Howard said it's odd. Robin said that she found it odd that he just calls names. Howard said he supports the right of Israel to exist. Howard said he's not going to change his views on that.
Robin said that Roger is calling names and she wonders when he's going to throw rocks. Howard told Roger to keep touring based on a 30 year old album. Howard said he won't read a headline saying that he said Roger is a shithead.
Howard said he has been praised by a lot of Jewish organizations and condemned by a lot of Palestinian organizations. Robin said she was watching an Israeli broadcast and they were replaying some of the show. She said she has no idea what they were saying but they were smiling.
Howard said that the guys from Foghat have no problem with Israel. Howard said it's just Roger. Howard said you shouldn't be fooled by Roger and his comments. Howard said he won't call Roger an asshole for what he believes in. He just thinks he's wrong.
Howard said that someone asked him to do an impression of his mother and father every day. Howard said he only does it when he feels it. Howard said their voices are in his head all the time though.
Howard said he has a new phony phone call where Chris Wilding took his conversation with Robin as his parents and called a show with those clips. Howard played that for Robin. They were talking about herbal Viagra and the host of the radio show was trying to explain it to Ben and Ray. They kept hanging up on Chris and he'd call back on different numbers. Howard went to break after that.
Howard asked Dave what the sound was. Dave had a cup to collect coins. Dave told Howard he has also converted to Islam. Howard said he heard he has a big announcement to make. Dave said that he has been such a good friend so he's going to donate money to the North Shore Animal League. He said he has to rename it to Howard Stern is a Pussy Boy Fag wing.
Dave had a few more comments for Howard before he said he had to go. All of this was pre-recorded so Evil Dave didn't get in any of his own jokes this time.
Howard said not every call can be a gem. Howard said that they have Lea Remini coming in today. He said she wrote a book about her life and she talks about her time in Scientology. Howard said he's looking forward to talking to her. Howard said that he has a lot of questions about Scientology. Robin and Howard spent a minute talking about that.
Howard said Bryan Cranston will also be coming in today. Howard said he does an awesome JD impression. Howard said his greatest achievement was his JD impression. Howard played a clip of Bryan talking to Jon Hein about JD on the Wrap Up Show.
Howard played a quick call from Richard's dad about the Royals winning the World Series. Robin said there is a big parade in Kansas City for the Royals. Robin said Richard wishes he was there. Robin said he told her this morning that if it was on a Friday or a weekend he'd be there. Howard said he's a fucking weirdo. Howard asked how you can be so passionate about a team.
Howard said they went to a World Series game and asked some fans some questions. They asked a guy if he'd be there if his wife as giving birth. The guy said he'd be there. Howard said he asked Shuli if that guy was for real and Shuli said he was. Howard said that Richard actually owns a Royals uniform. Howard said he actually paid money for it. Howard said it's like guys playing air guitar and pretending they're in the Eagles.
Howard said that there was a lot going on in that parking lot. Howard played another clip of a drunk guy who said the Mets are going to win 10 million dollars. Howard said that he remembers guys like that being at the game and having guys saying crazy stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who he'd swing with on the staff if he had to. Howard said he doesn't know. He said it would depend on the couple's looks. Howard said it would have to be an ugly guy with a hot wife. Howard said he doesn't want to swing with anyone. Howard said he beat off last night to YouPorn. Howard said he tried a lesbian video. He said it was 4 girls in lingerie sitting around talking about their panties. Howard said one girl said she wasn't wearing panties and she was shaved so the girls were talking about that and showing each other. Howard said the girls start making out and he's watching this while stroking. Howard said that he wants to see what happens. Howard said then they cut to a girl at the front door and she walks in on the other 4. Howard said she asks what's going on and she sits down but then says she has to get out of there. Howard said they check her panties and then her clothes come off. Howard said all 5 girls are making out and touching each other. Howard said that's as far as he got. He said he was finished up by then.
Howard said nothing like that ever happens in real life. Howard said it's every guy's fantasy but it doesn't happen. Robin said she used to have girl's days but she never had that going on. Howard said the closest she ever had was when she got an enema with Judith Reagan at her house. Howard said nothing like this ever happened with Robin. He said god forbid she ever have a good story.
Howard said he just had a thought about Gary Shandling. He said he hopes he's not stuck in Africa for real. Howard said he should take a break so he can get to Lea Remini. Howard said he has a lot of thoughts on that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has Lea Remini there. He said she has written a book about her experience in Hollywood. Howard said it's a massive book. Howard said she's wearing a nice outfit. Robin said she looks like she's walking to the gallows. Lea said she just walked in. Howard said she looks like she's tanning. She said she's not. Howard said she looks very tan to him.
Howard asked Lea if she's afraid for her life at all about the Scientology stuff. Lea said no. She said she's not. Howard asked if she has gotten any threats over the book. Lea said weird things have happened to friends of her's and people she works with. She said she's not sure if she's naive or what. She said she has friends who have had things happen to their Facebook pages and things like that. Howard said her book points out some of the intense stuff that goes on in Scientology but it seems like every religion has weird stuff. Lea said the thing about Scientology is that it costs a lot of money and you have to be there 2 and a half hours a day. She said it requires a lot of commitment.
Howard asked if she had a tough time finding a publisher. Lea said not at all. She said she thinks that with the movie ''Going Clear'' and the other stuff that's out there on the internet it's pretty well known. Howard said he'd think that some places wouldn't want to deal with it. Lea said many people are speaking out so it's not just one. She said many people have been hurt and many families have been separated. Lea said that Howard has this idea that it's a big, powerful thing and it is. She said that people have the right to tell their story.
Howard said he thinks when there are big companies they don't want people running around rogue telling their story. Howard said Lea has some power so he'd think they'd find a way to discredit her and all of that. Howard said he likes what she did in her book where she told everyone the bad things she's done. Howard said that was a good idea. Lea said she was on this show defending Scientology. She said that she wrote the book because she was promoting the whole thing back then. She said she has to be very vocal about not being there now.
Howard said Lea has enough success that she doesn't have to write this book. He asked if she's afraid that the shit storm is going to start when she wakes up. Lea said that she's not sure that she is an endorsement for the church. Howard said that she is functioning well. Lea said her balls came from her mother. She said she has strong women around her. She said that she did get some balls from the church as a kid too.
Howard said it comes down to people falling into cultish behavior. Howard said her father was kind of a scumbag. Lea said he's still around and she's in touch from time to time. Howard said she describes him as a monster. She said he has done bad things. She said he was a parent like he was parented. Howard said he insulted her and belittled her. Howard said that he left them in bad shape. Lea said she doesn't want to come off as a victim. She said she expects a lot from people. Howard said that her mom put her in an unsafe position and let her join an arm of Scientology at a young age. Howard said they're not great people. Lea said that everyone is flawed.
Howard said Lea was put into Scientology at a young age. Howard said she had to find a family and that's what her mom did with Scientology. Howard said that he was put through the whole religion thing when he was young and he should have been learning guitar instead. Howard said that his parents just put him into it and they weren't following it. He said at least Lea's mom was following it. Lea said that he is what he is for what he went through so that's how she looks at it.
Howard said that Lea was working on King of Queens and she had to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to get this education. Howard asked if it sickens her that she gave so much to the church. Lea said no because she gave it for the right reasons at the time. Lea said when she was in there it was an extremist organization. She said you had to be ready to walk away if you had a disagreement. Howard said other religions let you go away and then come back. Howard said Scientology shuns you. Howard said he's not sure what's up with that. Lea said the policy is that if you're attacking someone they might not like it. Lea said if she puts it out there it's a suppressive thing to do so you're considered a suppressive person. Lea said she can leave no problem. She said the fact that she spoke out publicly is the difference.
Howard said that Kirstie Alley was on the show. Lea asked if Howard feels bad for not sticking up for her. Howard said he doesn't know what she means. Lea said there were some other people there who talked about her. She said Howard just lets it happen. Howard said that he's letting her talk about Scientology and he doesn't have anyone there to argue with her. She said she'd love that if he did.
Howard said he had Sharon Osbourne and Julie Chen on the show. Howard said he asked what happened with Lea and Holly Robinson Peet. Howard said they said they had nothing to do with it. Howard said he even asked ''really?'' and they had a lively conversation about it. Howard said he really doesn't know what happened there. Howard said he can't defend Lea if he doesn't know her point of view. Lea said it's really okay. She said that she understands what he's saying. She said she loves Jack Osbourne and Ozzy of course. She said that she doesn't want to be disrespectful to Sharon. She said that she isn't disingenuous. She said that she has a big mouth and a temper so that's not good for people like executives and people like that. Howard asked if they ever came to her and asked her to tone it down. Lea said no. She said it had nothing to do with performing or not performing on the show. She said it came down to it being a girl thing. Howard asked if she's saying that Sharon felt that she was overpowering her in discussions. Lea said all she and Holly know is that they thought they were friends. She said if you call her a friend she is very judgmental. Howard asked if she's angry at Sharon. Lea said not at all. She said she's not good at interviewing celebrities. She said she knows that.
Howard asked Lea if she was blamed for the chemistry not being there. Lea said she thought there was chemistry. She said she's not sure how to conduct herself. She said she thinks it was fine that they got rid of her. She said she can't just sit there. She said most smart people just shut their mouths. Lea said if you're going to talk shit then do it to her face. She said that you can say that she's judgmental and she's an asshole. She said the thing you can't say is that she's not being genuine.
Lea said she realized that she just had to shut her mouth and do what her bosses told her to do to keep that job. She said that she can't do that though. She said that's why she's not on that show. Howard said he broke the rules doing what he does and he knows what she means. Lea said she tried doing the show and you have to talk about what they want to talk about.
Howard said when Lea was on King of Queens she was playing a part. Howard said that you have to forget her politics and stuff like that. Howard said it has to be tough to go to do a talk show after something like that. Lea said it is. She said you have to worry about what to talk about on the next show. Howard asked if she has run into Sharon and Julie. She said she has run into Sharon. Howard asked how he could have defended her when they were in there. Lea said that he could have said he has met her and thought that she was a genuine person. Howard said he doesn't know her that well. Lea said that he is a guy so maybe she should give him a break. Howard said he didn't see the show so he's not sure how he could even say that. Lea said she has to excuse him then.
Howard said that Sharon was upset about Lea sending the hosts of the show a positive email about the upcoming season of the show. Lea said that Sharon thought that she was the most negative person on the show. She said she just cares about the show though. She said she would yell during their meetings asking about why they were doing certain things and it's the way she talks to people that comes off poorly. Howard said maybe that's who she is and that's why she wrote the book. Howard said he thinks that her life would be easier if she didn't write the book.
Howard said Lea argues that Scientology can hurt someone's career. Lea said she felt like people judged her when she was on set. She said she felt like maybe she was the normal Scientologist. She said that she would still write the book either way. She said that other Scientologists have to know that she's on their side. She said that she's had other people contact her. Howard said he is so fascinated by this whole thing. He said that she was doing all of the work for them and paying for courses. Howard said her career is going along fine and then she's blessed by going to the celebrity center. Howard said that's an eye opener too. Howard said once she's got a high profile job then she's in the celebrity center. Lea said the way it's set up is for the artist. She said it's so seductive. Lea said when she went to L.A. She was trying to get on her feet and then you go to this beautiful building and they have all of this nice stuff in there. She said that she realized that there's an even nicer part that people like Tom Cruise goes to. Howard said once she got on King of Queens that's where she got to go. Lea said that she thought that they were on the same level. She said she felt superior on some level. She said she knew policy and she read all of the books.
Howard said most of them as human beings would be seduced by the celebrity center. Howard said that Lea could have stayed and not done certain things. Howard said she said she was out of time and she saw the hypocrisy. Howard said that not many people would have given that up. Howard said he admires her for that. Lea said that she appreciates that. Robin said that he's only saying that because she's there. Robin said she was just kidding. Lea said they were having a moment there.
Howard said Kirstie Alley had some things she said about her. Lea said she understands that. She said that hiding behind religious bigotry is the thing to do. She said she knows why she thinks she's angry at her. She said that's why she hides behind that veil. Lea said that nobody in Scientology will read the book.
Howard asked if Kirstie is OT 5. Lea said she thinks she's OT 7. She said they keep inventing new levels so they keep going up and up. Howard asked what she would say to Kirstie if she ran into her. She said she wouldn't say anything because she knows they can't talk to her because then they'd be shunned. She said that she gets upset when she sees a close friend at a coffee shop and she turns her back to her. She said that she wants to ask if she's for real. She said it's really hard not to say that. Howard asked if she ever shunned anyone. Lea said that she didn't really know anyone. She said that she would be told that these people were horrible people and then you'd be shipped off to Texas where there aren't a lot of Scientologists.
Howard said Lea revealed that she was told some things about L. Ron Hubbard and what he wrote about. Lea said that they have this E-meter thing and they teach you that it does not lie. She said it makes you think about if it's lying or not. Howard said John Travolta believes that he can heal people. Lea said he loves the technology of Scientology. Lea said that she would go to people and ask them to change things and they'd be afraid of getting in trouble. She said that you can't even get the parishioners to stand up for their own organization. She said it's protected so you can't speak out against a senior person in Scientology. She said you can't question anything.
Howard said it's some book. Lea said it's not all about Scientology. Howard said it's not. He said he liked reading about her climb in show business. Howard said she had some interesting stories in there. Howard said she met a lot of people who were in Scientology. Howard said she admits to being a shitty actress when she starts. Howard said she was honest about that. Howard said he likes that. Lea said she might still be. Howard said King of Queens did it for her. Howard said he likes that she auditioned for Friends. Howard said imagine if she got that part. Howard said she auditioned for the Courteney Cox part. Lea said that she did. She said you see the success now. Howard asked if she watched Friends and thinks about how great it would have been. Lea said that she got her show, King of Queens, and she was meant to have that part. She said that Friends wasn't mean to be.
Howard asked Lea if Kevin James had the final say on who played her part. She said she met Kevin and they had instant chemistry. Lea said she thought the show was great and she didn't think it would make it because it was a show about a family.
Howard said she and Kevin did have beef once in a while. She said that they were like family. She said that's why she wrote that. She said that of course they fight. She said that she'd argue over what to get for lunch. She said they really didn't fight. She said she's only saying that because they really had a real relationship on and off screen.
Howard said Lea has had great success with a sitcom. Howard asked if she would do another one. Lea said she would love to do another one. She said she did a reality show and that was hard. She said it was harder than she thought it was going to be. She said she had to come up with content and she was editing. She said she was also on The Exes and that was hard. She said she had o do her thing and she had to approve her stuff and her family stuff.
Lea said that it was tough for her family to do the reality show. She said her family had to get out of Scientology when she got out and she thought this would give them something. Howard asked if she had a doubt in her mind that her mom would leave Scientology for her. Lea said she did. She said that sometimes you stand by something even if you don't believe in it. Lea said all people have to do is go online and read about disconnection from Scientology and family. She said she can see how it can happen. She said that she didn't want to do something like that. Howard said her mom didn't hesitate. Lea said she didn't. Lea said she took 6 years to get out herself. She said she tried to make it work. Howard asked when it was that she said she has had it and she had to get out. Lea said she had a meeting with the head of Scientology and she told him her concerns about what she was seeing on TV about people who were being torn apart by it. She said that he told her to look at the success of what they were doing. Lea said she had to do this reprogramming thing and she asked for her money back from the organization. She said then they were hauled in for six weeks of interrogation. She said it was her whole family that came in. She said that they wanted to put the money on her account but she wanted to get out. She said that she might not go back. Howard said she went through the mill with this thing.
Howard said he has written a buddy movie with her and Kirstie. Lea said she will do it but they won't let Kirstie do it. Howard said he'll get her in there and see what he can do. Howard said this will be the biggest thing ever.
Howard said he has come to the conclusion that all religions are kind of nutty. He said he doesn't single out Scientology. Lea said he should. She said that the time requirement and all of that shows that it stands out. She said that her grandmother used to go to church every day and it was always comforting to her to have faith in something. She said that now that she's older she's finding comfort in going to church. She said that she has always been spiritual. Howard asked if her dad was pissed about what she said about him. She said she doesn't know because she hasn't been able to get in touch with him. She said that he doesn't call back. She said her daughter wants to know him and he won't return her calls. Lea said he's a flawed person like we all are. She said that if he called she'd meet him for dinner. She said she's very judgmental in many ways and not judgmental in others. She said it's all good.
Howard asked if Lea is on medication for all of this. Lea said she's not. She said that she's dealing with all of this stuff now. She said she's always angry but she lets it out. She said she's a passionate person. She said she is seeing a therapist. Howard asked if they're against that in Scientology. She said they are because they're afraid of losing you. She said you're not allowed to do Yoga. She said you can't do spiritual Yoga.
Howard gave Lea a plug for her book ''Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology'' which is out now. Howard said you can find out more about Lea at LeaRemini.com too. Lea asked if that's true. Howard said yes. Howard said you can look into it there. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Bryan Cranston is there. He said that it's a star studded day. He said that Bryan is in a new movie called Trumbo. Howard said once you get done with Breaking Bad you start looking better. Howard said he has more time to work on himself. Howard said he must have been stressed out on that show. Bryan said he was bald on that show. He said now he's taking all kinds of steroids and stuff. Howard asked how important his looks are to him. Bryan said he doesn't do Botox or anything like that. Howard asked if he's paranoid about his looks Bryan said he's afraid that if he did something to his face if he'd get 5-10 more years of work. Howard said he was looking at Al Pacino in the paper and he looks more feminine now. Bryan said if it's not done properly then you're eyes are out of place and it looks odd. Howard said it can be the end of a career if you do it wrong. Howard said there are women who have done that. Bryan said there are a few and some people don't even recognize them. Howard said Jennifer Grey did that. Howard said she was Baby in that movie and then she wasn't recognizable. Howard said it's so weird. Howard said there is so much pressure with that.
Howard said when Bryan finished Breaking Bad he was debating on whether or not to do Godzilla. Howard said he thought about doing something really serious. Bryan said he turned it down at first. Bryan said he wasn't being arrogant like Howard thinks he was over Breaking Bad. He said he held that show in high regard. He said he had to be careful with what he did next. Bryan said he wanted to do a lateral move and Godzilla wasn't the thing to do. He said his agent told him to read the script and maybe he'd change his mind. Bryan did that.
Howard said he read that he was going to be Lex Luthor in Batman vs Superman. Bryan said that was just a rumor. He said it was never a discussion. Howard said he thinks he could do wonders with that part. Bryan said he thinks that Jesse Eisenberg is doing it and he's looking forward to seeing how he does it.
Howard said Bryan did Godzilla and it made like half a billion dollars. Howard said that you can't over analyze things. Robin said it wasn't a departure for him to do that part. Howard said he heard that they killed him off too early and he asked to live longer in the movie. Howard said they had already shot the movie. Bryan said that conversation is true. He said even if he wasn't in the movie he didn't think he should die where he dies. He said it was bad structure. He said they should have had the father and son bonding and then when they see hope the dad sacrifices himself for his son. Howard said some of these movies are too condensed to do that. Howard said in Breaking Bad they had time to developed relationships.
Howard asked if it was hard to learn to speak Japanese in the movie. Bryan said he did and it was very hard. Howard said he would just blurt out nonsense like ''Ching, chong ching chong.'' Bryan said they had a coach on the set and it's so different than English that there is nothing recognizable at all. Howard said he would turn down a role based on that. Bryan said you do kind of think like that when you see it in the script.
Howard asked Bryan about the last time he was in there. He said he told him that his father wasn't that good a guy. Bryan said he was a good guy but a broken guy. Howard said his father died last year. He asked if they were talking at the end. Bryan said they had reconciled. He said he got back in touch with him when he was 22 or 23. He said it was awkward and he and his brother were curious about him. Howard asked if the relationship was good. Bryan said it was what it was. He said his generation didn't talk about things. Bryan said that they did talk about some things. Howard asked if he had a heart to heart before he died. Bryan said he was 90 when he passed last October. He said they were going through his things after he died and his daughter found a thing on a piece of paper and in his handwriting he wrote ''The happiest day of my life is when my children forgave me for my worst day in my life.'' Bryan said that he thinks of his parents and he's just sad. He said they both kind of wasted their lives. He said his dad had to be a movie star. He said he just had to. He said he was destined for it and he'd get angry at people who got chances that he didn't. He said he was bitter. He said he was an actor and he was in all of the shows in the 50s and 60s. He said he was in My 3 Sons, Dragnet and things like that. Bryan said his dad was around until he was 11 years old. He said that once he had this crash he didn't really see him on TV anymore.
Howard asked Bryan about how he channeled his father in Breaking Bad. Howard said that guy was a disturbed by. Bryan said he did research on the character and it was callused over. He said that he realized it was because of depression. He said that he found that there was external depression like his father had or this internal. He said you implode and become quiet. He said you become nobody. Bryan said his character was the latter and then he exploded and it was on the exterior. He said he thought of his father in those respects and also his physicality. He said he felt that Walter White was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He said when he became Heisenberg he straightened up and his shoulders went back.
Howard asked if he thinks that his father was envious of him. Bryan said he thinks that was part of it. He said his father was very pleased and excited for what was going on in his career. Howard asked if he thinks he felt that he wished he had that himself. Bryan said that you do think about how you'd handle something like that. He said there might have been some of that but not in a jealous way. He said maybe in an envious way.
Howard asked if Bryan held back from talking about winning an Emmy from his dad. Bryan said he does that with all of his friends. He did that with his dad too. Bryan said that the people he came up with in the business he can't talk about certain things because they'll be like ''You son of a...''
Howard asked if he has people he can sit and talk to about working 17 hours on a set. Bryan said that just about anyone you have a private conversation with. He said you have to keep it in certain circles though. Howard said he's right on that. He said it's being respectful of other people. Howard said in a way it must drag you away from some people. Bryan said it's true.
Howard asked Bryan if he thinks that Jon Hamm won an Emmy because he wasn't up against him. Bryan said he doesn't think like that. He said that Jon had a tougher role to play than he did. Howard asked if he's still friendly with the people from Breaking Bad. Bryan said he is. Howard asked if he thinks that Dean is bummed that he's on that show ''Under the Dome.'' Bryan said that's coming to an end. He said that sent his kids to college. He said Dean is a fine actor. Howard asked if he watches the show and laughs at him. Howard said he watches the show and enjoys it actually.
Howard said Bryan is playing the role of Trumbo. Howard said he plays a screenwriter who was blacklisted. Howard said he was blacklisted for being communist but he wasn't even communist. Howard said that this was McCarthyism. Bryan said that Trumbo joined in 1943 and then they started to realize how awful Stalin was. He said that the association was made and if you were communist then they were considered to be trying to over throw the government. Howard asked how Trumbo was able to work. Bryan said he wrote under an assumed name and he won Oscars for that work. Bryan told Howard about how that all went down and how he wasn't able to accept the award because he was in hiding.
Bryan talked about how he wrote Spartacus and he put his name on the screen after 13 years. He said that Kirk Douglas risked it all because of that. Howard said that Trumbo wrote the movie under another assumed name. Bryan said it was Sam Jackson. Howard said imagine writing that movie and Kirk Douglas has the balls to put Dalton Trumbo's name on the movie. Bryan said he had a lot of threats over that. Howard asked who plays Kirk Douglas in the movie. Bryan said a guy from Australia plays him. Howard said Kirk Douglas is a hero for doing this. Howard said you never think of him being a hero but he is.
Howard said he hopes that Bryan pulls this off in the movie. Bryan talked about how he wrote in the bath tub. Howard said it would be great if he wrote in a meth lab. Howard asked if he watches Better Call Saul. Bryan said he does and he loves it. Howard asked if he will be in it. Bryan said he might. He doesn't know. He said the truth is that Vince Gilligan was his champion for getting Breaking Bad. He said he will trust him to do anything. Bryan asked if Howard would be on the show. Howard said he's too big. Bryan said he told Howard he should do another film. Howard said he has been tapped to do some. Howard said Bradley Cooper told him about a role that sounded very interesting but he's not sure if he'll do it. Howard said he has turned down some other roles. Howard said after Private Parts what else is there to do? He said he's done it all.
Howard said Bryan's greatest role ever is when he does his JD. Bryan did some of that for him. Howard said he's kind of upset that JD doesn't like that he does that. Bryan answered as JD mumbling and saying I dunno. Howard said JD never thanked him for doing what he did. JD said he did too. He said after his last appearance he said something to him. Bryan said he doesn't remember that. Bryan said he went to visit him before he came on and he was back in that office masturbating.
Howard said Bryan is a great actor and he loves doing his impression of JD. Robin said it would be great if he has a role some day when he draws on his JD impression. Bryan said it could happen. Howard gave him a plug for the movie ''Trumbo'' which opens wide on Thanksgiving. Howard said they have a write up of Trumbo on HowardStern.com.
Howard asked Bryan how his sex life is. Bryan said he's been married for 30 years and it's still great. Howard asked if he still masturbates. Bryan said he's a man and of course he does. He said Dalton Trumbo wrote about all things. He said that Dalton sent his son two books when he was in college and one of the books was about masturbation. Howard said it would be great if Bryan's dad did that for him after not speaking to him for years. Howard asked how you fill a book about masturbation. Howard said he could fill a book about YouPorn. Bryan said he goes on PornHub. Howard said he's never been on that one.
Howard said Bryan has said too much. He said it's disgusting. Howard said Bryan's career is going great. He said thank god he did Godzilla. Howard said he must have made a couple mill on that. Bryan said it was a nice paycheck.
Howard asked Bryan about doing a movie called Wakefield which is an independent film. Howard said he's worried about that. Bryan told Howard what the movie is about and how this character stays in the attic of his house for 8 months. He said that he can't way who just signed on to do the film. Howard asked if it was Jennifer Lawrence. Bryan said he's close but that's not her. Howard said Lindsay Lohan. Howard asked if it was Emily Blunt. Bryan said it's not her either but there is a love scene and there may be nudity. Howard told Bryan to beat off the night before he does the scenes so he won't get aroused. Howard said maybe he shouldn't so he feels the urge. Howard said he wishes he had that role. Bryan asked which one, the female? Howard said that would be great. Howard asked Bryan a few more names and Bryan was saying no to all of them. He said that the actress is a wonderful actress. He said that he can't say who it is because she just signed up yesterday. Gary named a few women and Bryan was staying quiet. Howard said he'll just go see the movie when it comes out. He said he has to see Trumbo first though. Bryan said the premiere is tonight in New York. He said it opens in New York and L.A. this Friday. Howard gave him some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
After playing that Howard said he liked hearing Jackie's laugh in the background. He wasn't even sure what he was laughing at. Howard said that was way back in 1995.
Howard said he invited this young man into the studio today. Howard said he's wearing a WTBU t-shirt. Howard said his name is John and he goes to Boston University. John told him that his whole name is John Michael. Howard said that's ridiculous. Howard asked the mom why she would do that to him. She said that is his first name. It's John Michael Anthony. Howard said she's saying that's one name. It's John-Michael Anthony Sedor. Howard said his mom must have big plans for him.
Howard said John was the general manager of the station at Boston University. John said they created a lounge for Howard there. Howard said that's it. He said that's why he invited him in. Howard said that they have his name up on a piece of paper there. John said they have his Private Parts poster up there now and they changed it around. Howard said he had the letter sitting there for months and he felt good about what they did for him. Howard said he didn't write back right away though. John said he was shocked when he got a response. Howard said he liked that he didn't ask him for anything. Howard said that was nice. Howard said if he gets to that area he'd never go to the station. Howard said he knows being the GM of a college station is a pain in the ass. He said it's not easy.
Howard said he tells people not to get into the business because there isn't much money in it. John said he's moving out to L.A. to do nothing out there. Howard asked what he wants to do. John said he wanted to do radio but he's not sure what he's going to do. He said he has some connections out there. He said he has a voice over actor who is going to help him out. Howard said he has no plan. Howard said it sounds like a nutty plan. Howard said his dad would have knocked him in the head over that. Howard did an impression of his dad telling him he was out of his mind. John's mom said that they talked to him about that but this is what he wants to do.
Howard asked how he's going to pay the rent. John said his parents are going to help. Howard asked what they're going to give him to go out there. The Mom said that he's going to get a job out there doing whatever and once his classes are over he's either staying out there or coming home. Howard said that what he has to do is stay with his parents as much as he hates that. He said he has to get his resume together and start going and looking for a job. Howard said if someone calls from California then fly out there. He said try it out for 2 weeks. He said don't commit to living out there. Howard said nothing good is going to happen there that won't happen there in New York. Howard said forget about the big cities. Howard said you have to work in a shithole first. Howard said that's what he did. Howard told the mom not to front him money for this.
Howard said the mom has a nice body. He said she's not bad looking. Howard asked if she has other kids. Mom said she has a daughter named Briana. Howard said it's good to see she didn't do another hyphenated name.
Howard said he sees these people moving to California all the time. Howard said it's not easy saying no to the kids but you have to toughen up. Howard said that he has to look for a job. Howard said he's against him going to California. Howard asked where they live now. Mom said they live in Pennsylvania. Howard said there are plenty of jobs in Pennsylvania. Howard said he wasn't even able to get a job in Pennsylvania. Howard said he doesn't have to go to California to get a job.
Howard said that he'd give John JD's job if he mumbled. Howard said he never got fronted any money like this kid. Robin asked if you're out of work should you take the first job you find or wait. Howard said take the job. Robin said studies say that you're supposed to wait. Robin said that employers don't like blemishes. She said that you are supposed to wait for the right one. Howard said don't listen to that.
Howard said this John-Michael sent him a nice letter and he told him to come down. He said he didn't know he was bringing his mommy with him. Howard said that's why he's there today. He said his mom's name is Denise. Howard said he bets she had some guys hitting on her back in the day. She said she might have. Howard said they can hang out and go watch Gary sleeping in his office today.
Howard asked if John-Michael can hit the host. John said he can do it. Howard had Fred play a song. He missed the post. John said he's a little nervous. Howard tried it himself with another song. Howard didn't hit it either. Robin said both of them are getting thrown out of there.
Howard said he has The Lump on the line. The Lump asked Jeff what he thought about 5 Seconds of Summer yesterday. He said he thinks that Jeff is in love with them.
Howard said it must be sweeps week on Periscope. Howard said this clip is really gross. Howard said Jeff has some phlegm when he coughs. Howard played the clip and Jeff takes a hit and then starts coughing and he sounds like he's drowning in phlegm. Then he coughs up the phlegm. Howard said he'd like to know where that phlegm went.
Howard asked Jeff when he's going to quit smoking. Jeff said he just quit... today. Howard said he has no will power. Jeff said he's not smoking until he goes to L.A. Howard asked if he just took a hit of weed just moments ago. Jeff said he did. Howard said that's also smoke and his lungs are probably black. Howard said it must be all green. Jeff said he has a spit cup. Howard said he's disgusting. Howard said if he coughed like that he'd be alarmed. Howard said he cares about him and he worries. Jeff said he quit smoking. Howard said weed is smoking. Jeff said he knows it. The Lump said he's bathing in his phlegm. He said he's like the Jimmy Page of phlegm. Robin said they used to suck phlegm out of people's lungs in the hospital. She said that's what you hear.
Howard asked The Lump if he can get off of Jeff before he dies. The Lump said that he can but it involves Scientology. The Lump said Jeff has been able to quit things before. He said he quit having two arms and quit looking for jobs.
Jeff asked Howard if he got the cup he sent him in the mail. Howard said he did not. Jeff said it was a Chello mug. Jeff asked if he can promote his L.A. gig. Howard asked what gig that is. Jeff said he has a meet and greet in L.A. on December 2nd. Howard said he doesn't want to know anything about this. Gary said that Jeff has to sell 40 tickets. Jeff said he sold 9 already.
Howard asked Shuli what the gig is. Shuli said it's a 40 seat venue and the tickets are $40 each. Howard said that he sounds like this John-Michael kid. The Lump said that he's John-Michael Curro. Shuli said that Jeff is going to do a cooking demo and then a Q and A. Then he's going to do some Karaoke. He said the show is from 6-9 so he has to fill all of that time. Shuli said there's no alcohol there either. Howard said he doesn't understand the financial plan there. Howard asked if he's staying in a hotel. Shuli said there is a woman who is trying to help him and she's literally his right hand. Shuli said that her and her husband are picking him up and taking him to a concert and taking him to get head shots done. Shuli said they might be more delusional than Jeff.
Howard asked Jeff if he's staying with these people. Jeff said they're staying in the hotel in different rooms. Shuli said this woman helps him with his internet bill. He said he thinks that some people just like to take care of other people. Howard said Jeff will eventually end up calling her a cunt. Howard said he loves talking about Jeff when he's on the phone.
Shuli said that Jeff has also started pissing off his Periscope viewers. He said that he can do private ones and he does them with all chicks. Howard said he has some audio of those. Howard played a clip of Jeff talking to his female viewers. He didn't invite Shuli or the Stern Show into that one. Shuli told Howard that he asked Jeff to watch the Debates so they could have some feedback and Jeff did this instead. He said Jeff gave him some excuse about not having a good signal that night.
Jeff yelled at The Lump to shut up but he wasn't even sure what he said. Shuli said that Jeff called him to tell him that someone was wearing a Chello shirt in the marathon. The Lump said they came in last place. Howard said there is nothing going on for Jeff in L.A. Howard said it's a waste of time. Jeff said the only reason they're doing it out there is because some knucklehead wanted him to do a bachelor party out there and it just snowballed. Howard said it's a perfect snowball of nothing.
Robin asked what happened with the girls in the private Periscope. Shuli said it was just Jeff talking about how he was flaking out on this assignment. Jeff said that he didn't have cable that night. Shuli said that's not what he told him that night. Howard said he wants to know what he was doing in the private room with the girls. He said nothing is happening anyway. The Lump said he hopes that one of the chicks shows him her dick one night.
The Lump said he had Jeff convinced he was a girl for a while. Howard asked what Jeff's fantasy is about these girls. Jeff went off on some other subject so Howard said he has to get out of this. Howard let them go after that. Shuli said Jeff is never interesting. Ever. Howard said he loves that he's doing a 3 hour appearance. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. They played her into it with a song parody. Howard said he has better ones to play. He said he has a bunch of song parodies about Gary unfriending him too. He said he'll get to those tomorrow. Howard played a new Robin song parody by Little Mikey.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she's back to living Lea Remini. She said that they're both from Bensonhurst. Howard said he has no idea what's going on. He hung up on Mariann.
Robin got to her news and read a story about Kenny G the Saxophone player. Robin said that he must sit around trying to figure out how to annoy people. Robin said he broke the record for playing E flat for over 45 minutes. Howard said he'd rather go see Jeff the Drunk in L.A. Robin said now he wants to hold the note for over an hour. Howard said you can't hold your breath for that long. Robin said he must breathe through his nose.
Robin said here is a missing marathon runner. Robin said he was last seen around 3pm on Sunday. Robin said he disappeared after the marathon. Robin said he is Italian and he doesn't speak any English. Gary interrupted and said they have found him on a train. He's fine.
Robin read a story about giving the sex talk to kids and that led to Howard explaining how his dad had his discussion with him. Howard said he was already 17 when he got that talk. Howard asked if John-Michael got that talk too. John said he did and she had a book. Denise said he was young. John said he was like 14. Howard asked if he got some in college. John said he did. Robin said that research shows that kids who have the sex talk are influenced for the better. Howard went into his impression of his parents and had them talking about that sex talk. Howard's mom was talking about how she got Howard a subscription to Playboy when he was 13 and she told him that those were not real women, they were freaks. Howard went on for a few minutes like that. Howard said he was so embarrassed having that sex talk. Howard said it was embarrassing. He said that he had already been with a woman. Howard said it was like ''Do you have any questions?'' and the whole thing was just creepy and weird.
Howard said he went out to dinner with his daughter Emily and his mom for her birthday. He said that his mom only talks about him as a little boy. He said it's like she's trying to sell him to her. Howard said he's heard all of these stories a million times. Howard told some of the stories that she tells in her voice. Howard said she claims that he gets his shtick from her side of the family. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin asked if Howard's dad watches a lot of sports. Howard said it's enough of that. He did a little bit of his dad talking and said they're not a big sports family.
Robin said she was going home the other night and she saw a naked guy in a McDonald's that was open very late. Robin said it must have just closed. Robin said the lights were all on and you could see a naked man in there. She said when the guy saw the car the guy ducked. Robin said she doesn't know what was going on in there. Robin said she had been out and she was going home very late. Robin wondered if he was having sex in there or what. Howard said when you work there maybe you lose your mind. Robin said it was very odd. Robin said she was just driving by and the lights were so bright that she could see in. Robin said she realized he was naked and when he saw her lights the guy ducked.
Howard said Quentin Tarantino's dad is weird. Howard said Quentin was out at a rally saying some stuff about the police. Howard said that regardless of what you think about that it's just weird that Quentin's dad is talking to the press. He said he thinks they're estranged and it's very odd when the parents are out there talking about their kids. Howard said the guy shouldn't be talking to the press. He said if he has a problem with what his kid is doing then call the kid and talk to him in private.
Howard said the other story that's driving him nuts is this story about Jay Z. Howard said they have his rider that he has for his dressing room. Howard said that he demands that his dressing room is 71 degrees. Howard said that's not that outrageous. Howard said that he has been to these places where it's freezing cold and you have to warm up the room. Howard said that these venues try to save money by not running the heat. Howard said Jay Z also asks for 3 specific candles. Howard said that these venues smell bad sometimes. Howard said the guy isn't out of control. Howard said he wants a warm room and some candles that make it smell nicer. Howard said that's not so crazy. Howard said when you break it down he's not out of control. Howard said the other thing was using his brand of Champagne which is Ace of Spades. Howard said it's not that outrageous. Howard said when he works he thinks he's easy. Howard said if you read what he asked for in his dressing room you might think he's crazy too. Howard said he asks for 5 or 6 bottles of water. He said he asks for a room to meditate in. He asks for fresh fruit. He asked for his own bathroom at America's Got Talent. He said he doesn't want to share a bathroom.
Howard said that Kanye West asks for mint flavored floss in his dressing room. Howard said that's not crazy. He asks for black bathroom towels. Howard said he knows how that goes down. Howard said he doesn't think that's diva-ish. Howard said asking for a cylindrical vase in his room might be out there a little bit. Robin said these people have to be able to rest and relax. She said she has seen worse.
Howard said the other thing in the paper is Giselle Bundchen being outed for getting plastic surgery. Howard said she got implants. Big deal. Howard said maybe the press is upset because she said that she'd never get plastic surgery.
Robin read a story about how white men and women are dying more often between 45 and 54 than ever before. Robin said most of them are not college educated.
Robin read a story about a woman whose husband dressed up like a clansman. Robin said this is the mayor of the town. Robin said her husband was caught dressed like a KKK member. Robin said that the woman had to apologize for the incident which happened on her property. Robin said the husband thought the costume would make a good prank. Howard said that woman should just leave him. He said she should use her head.
Howard said he was reading about Lisa Rinna whose husband, Harry Hamlin, wore a Swastika t-shirt on Halloween. Howard said he claimed they dressed up as Sid and Nancy. Howard asked how you don't know that's going to be a problem. Howard said the only people who should dress up like clansmen are clansmen.
Robin read a story about how the Department of Justice spent $43 million on a gas station in Afghanistan that should have cost 500,000 dollars. Howard played a clip of a British news anchor using the word cunt in a broadcast. Robin got back to her story and read more about the over spending of the station. Howard said this is why people don't want to pay their taxes. They see all of this over spending.
Robin read a story about Bill Cosby has been ordered by a judge to speak under oath in the Janice Dickinson case. Robin said that Janice was called a liar by Cosby and that's what the suit is about. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani and asked if Howard noticed any chemistry between them on The Voice. Howard said he doesn't watch that show. Howard said he has too much to watch already. Howard said he's got too much to watch and it's all on his DVR. Howard said his TiVo is like a 12 year old boy's. Robin said they say that Blake and Gwen might be more than co-stars on the show. Robin said they were seen holding hands at a party recently. Howard said that relationship won't last. He said Blake just got out of a marriage. Robin said Gwen did too. Howard said it won't last.
Robin read a story about the woman who was born white but identifies as black was on a show called The Reel the other day. Howard said he would never do that with someone like Heidi Klum if she wanted him to. Howard said he would be too uncomfortable on the set. Robin read more about this woman Rachel Dolezal and being on The Reel. Robin had some audio clips of her talking about how she fills out forms that ask what race she is. Howard said she's consumed with race. Howard said he'd hang himself if he was married to her.
Robin read a story about an Uber driver and a fare that got into an argument over directions. Robin said that there is video of this out there. Robin said that the guy started hitting the driver in the argument. Robin said the drivers are supposed to follow the route listed. Robin had some audio of the fight. It was censored with a beep so Howard said they're speaking in Morse code. Robin said the Taco Bell marketing guy has lost his job because of that.
Robin read a story about Ben Carson getting a lot of support and going up in the polls. Robin said that Trump is in second place. Howard said Trump must be pissed. Howard said he loves that Jeb Bush can't get anything going. Robin said that Hillary Clinton holds a 2 to 1 lead against Bernie Sanders. Robin had some other clips and news about some of the candidates. She had some audio of Carly Fiorina and that led to Howard talking about how he'd fuck her. He said she has a busted face but the body is good. Fred agreed.
Robin read a story about Star Wars coming out soon and the movie theaters are wondering what to do. Robin said there are fans who dress up as characters from the movie. Robin said they're afraid that everyone is going to show up like that. Howard said you don't have to pretend you're in the movie. He asked why people are so stupid. Robin said one movie theater group is allowing costumes but not face masks or face paint. Robin said no blasters will be allowed. Robin said that some theaters will allow light sabers but they must be turned off during the movie.
Robin had Howard play some audio of a TV theme song. Howard knew it was The Greatest American Hero. Robin said there is a remake coming. Howard said he hated that show. Robin said FOX is bringing it back. Howard said the best thing is having super powers. Gary said that he had the suit but not the instruction book. Howard said only an idiot would watch that. Howard said that was Richard's favorite show growing up so he stands by his statement. Howard said Richard even went to a William Katt autograph signing.
Robin read a story about Justin Bieber being off probation for his egg throwing incident. Robin said he got a favorable report from his probation officer. Robin said he's still involved in a lawsuit with the neighbor whose house he egged. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Jon said something that wasn't in the montage was Jeff the Drunk. He said he has a gig coming up in California. He said he's trying to sell tickets to that. Jon said he is perplexed by people who help the Wack Pack like that woman is doing for Jeff. Jon said that's one way to get close to the show. Jon said that some of the Wack Packers take advantage of that. Jon said he wonders how Jeff will be if no one shows up. Rahsaan said he's not sure who the bigger idiots are. The people who pay to see him or the people who pay to set him up with that gig. Jon said he's not sure they're idiots. He said if he's out there then why not go check him out?
Jon said Howard started the show off with that story about his Gary Shandling email. He said Howard thought Gary was asking for something. He said that he realized that Gary's account was hacked eventually. Jon said it happens to everyone. Jon said that stuff comes in all the time. Jon said Howard has to deal with people sending him email asking for stuff all the time. Jon said that he wonders if people understand what he has to go through.
Gary came in and talked about the requests. He said that he likes it more if people are up front with him. He said just ask him the favor. Gary said he doesn't even email Howard that much anymore. He said they just save stuff for their meetings. Jon said he gets why Howard would be upset about that. He said he can't satisfy everyone. Gary said it would be nice for people to check in with him once in a while.
Jon said he'll send Howard email once in awhile where he'll tell him a show is on TV or something. He said they do have to think all of this stuff through before doing it. Gary said he thinks he's earned the right to ask him a favor since he's been there so long. He said that it's been ruined by so many other people though so he can't do it now. Gary said he'd be lumped in with all of the other people if he did ask. Gary said he doesn't ask for anything that he doesn't need. Jon said Howard has a hard time saying no. He doesn't enjoy doing that. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said they went to dinner last year and this guy took them all out. He said JD was invited and the guy went to talk to JD and JD didn't really seem to want to talk. Gary said that the guy seemed to want more of a discussion from him. Jon said that JD is grateful but doesn't show it as easy as he and Gary do. Gary said he's not sure how JD can counter that with people. Jon said he's not sure. He said if JD wanted to work on it he could do something but he doesn't want to work on it. He said he thinks he's gotten better now that he has the girlfriend.
Jon and Gary talked about Bryan's discussion about his father and also about Lea Remini talking about her relationship with her parents. Jon said Howard goofs on his parents all the time but you can hear his love and affection for them.
Jon took a call from a woman (Becky) who said she's one of Jeff the Drunk's little bitches. She said there are a lot of women who spend 5 plus hours talking to Jeff on the phone and on Periscope. She said she has become addicted to watching Jeff. She said he's so endearing. She said that they have a nice friendship. She said she wanted to let Shuli know there are legitimate women watching. Jon said he wants to talk about this. Gary said maybe she should be watching her kid. The baby was making noise. She said that she'll hand off her baby to her husband so she doesn't miss anything. She said she watches at night and in the mornings. She said that they all wonder what they miss. Gary said you're not missing anything. He said JD has to watch it and he asks JD what's harder to watch Jeff or Eric the Midget's old stuff. He said JD said it's a tough choice.
The caller said that they all talk about Jeff with Jeff. She said it's very involved. She said that they also help him with people he should block and things like that. She said that they help keep some of his haters away. Gary asked what it is about him that's so endearing. The caller said Jeff has a heart and he's funny and witty. Gary asked if he can give her a prize and not share it with Jeff. The caller said she has sent him stuff before. Jon said he has to ask what she has sent to Jeff. She said she has sent him some pizza, clothes and other foods. Jon said he's jealous of Jeff now. They ended up giving her a prize of $500 cash and a Ninja Coffee Bar. She said that is amazing. She swore to them that it made her day. The caller also said she's sorry for Gary's loss. She said she knows how he feels since she lives in Chicago. Gary said they may see each other next season.
Jon said that was a hard core Jeff the Drunk Periscope fan. Gary said he didn't get the thing about Jeff being so endearing. Gary said some days he does have a certain charm but he can't see watching him for 5 hours a day. They went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she was talking about Jeff. She said she's not sure why they think he's not interesting. She said she finds him mesmerizing. Jon said he thinks anyone on the show is interesting to a point. He said it's hard to be mesmerizing for hours on end. Jon said that he wonders how Jeff is able to hold people that long. The caller said she doesn't know how he does it but he does. She said she's been in the private chats. She said that she can't stop watching. She said he's doing something right. Gary said he might be able to watch Jeff for one day. He said if it's day 20 and he's doing the same stuff he has been doing 20 days in a row, what's interesting about it. The caller said she's not sure what it is but she keeps going back. Gary said he's curious about what it is.
Rahsaan said that he thinks it's people waiting for something to happen to him. He said they're waiting for that big moment. the caller agreed. The caller said he's doing a damn good job of it whatever he is doing.
Jon asked if the caller has sent anything to Jeff. She said she has sent him money multiple times. She said that he needed a refrigerator. Gary said that there are people with far greater afflictions who work. Gary said he is really internet pan handling. The caller said she thinks that Jeff has gotten $50,000 in the time he's been on. Gary said he thinks that's high. She said he got 2000 in no time when he was asking for money for a refrigerator.
Jon let the caller go and got back to Lea Remini and talked about what Howard and Lea were saying about Scientology. Gary and Jon gave their thoughts on what they were talking about.
Jon said he wants to talk about the Boston University grad who sat in on the show. Jon said that Howard told him that he's making a mistake by going to California. Jon asked if Gary thinks that's the best way to do things by going to California. Gary said that there is no right or wrong answer. He said you never know what's going to happen. Gary said he likes the idea of him going out there for a short period of time to see how it works. Gary said he would never go somewhere just to see how things work out. He said he could never do that. Jon said working from your heart things should work. Rahsaan said he got a full time job up there at the Stern Show and things happened for him. Gary said hard work and persistence will make it work.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking to Robin about Rob Zombie who he said he usually sees over the summer. Howard said they didn't do that this year. He said they haven't done it in 2 years. He said he loves Rob and his wife. He said that Rob is one of the most interesting guys. He said he has a hell of a beard too. Howard said he's tried to get together with other friends too but it's hard. He said they spend a lot of time out on Long Island and most people are in the city. Howard said he likes to decompress out on Long Island too. Howard said Beth will talk about going to dinner with friends but then you get caught up in your own thing. Howard said Robin said it best when she said you have to live to be you.
Howard said they have a lot going on today. Howard said Alanis Morissette's album ''Jagged Little Pill'' sold 30 million albums and it's celebrating the anniversary of the album with a release of a special box set (Jagged Little Pill (Collector's Edition)). Howard said she'll be coming in today. Howard said that Alanis was on a TV show on Nickelodeon and she ended up doing an album and it changed everything for her. Howard said she's one of the rare few who can come off of something like that and become a respected artist.
Howard said when he was a kid he watched Soupy Sales' show. Howard said that he was a big fan of Soupy and he has regrets about fighting with the guy. Howard said he was out of his mind when he fought with Soupy. Howard said he still feels guilty about that. Howard said Soupy did forgive him. Robin said she orchestrated that. Howard said he was ready to kill Robin for that. Howard said they were at channel 9 doing their show and Robin threw him into the room with him. Howard said that's how that worked.
Howard said as a kid he loved the Soupy Sales show and he'd get a knock on the door and a guy would be there with his hand sticking out making weird noises. Howard said Soupy would talk to the guy and then slam the door on him. He said he did some cool things for kids to see. Howard said he'd put out songs and things like that. Howard said years later Pee Wee Herman did a show similar to that. Howard said he liked Pee Wee but Soupy was really the shit. Howard said years later he got too cool. He said he had a song that was a hit song and he started hanging out with Frank Sinatra so he lost interest in him.
Howard said that he never wanted to be known as a Howie. He said Howie Mandel is a Howard but he's known as Howie. Howard said it sounds too close to Soupy. Howard said Soupy's real name was Milton Supman. He said that eventually became Soupy.
Howard said when he was a kid he loved MAD Magazine too. He said that he wanted a subscription to Playboy when he was a kid. He said everyone in the family knew he wanted it. He said all he had was one nudist magazine that he found on the streets of Roosevelt. Howard said there was one corner where you'd find used rubbers, beer and wine bottles and a nudist magazine. Robin said he picked it up with his germ phobia. Howard said he did. He said he didn't have that germ phobia back then. Howard said he hid that magazine in a cigar box in his sister's doll house. He said that he used to smoke cigars when he was a kid too.
Howard said one time his cousin came over and they took his dad's pipe tobacco and tried chewing it. Howard said needless to say he never did that again. Howard said one time the whole family went to the basement to look at his puppets and his sister saw her doll box and he almost shit himself. He said he was afraid that they'd find the nudist magazine. Howard said the people in the magazine were all hairy and flabby. Howard said their couches at home must have smelled like ass.
Howard said he got the Playboy magazine when he was 13 and that's when his mother told him all of those women were freaks. He said when he was 12 or so his cousin Jack knew he wanted Playboy. He said that Jack sent him Playboy but it was actually weird cartoons and funny stories. He had taken a MAD Magazine and glued a Playboy cover on it. Howard said he wanted MAD more than Playboy. He said that magazine was a revolution. He said that's what gave them Saturday Night Live and everything. Howard said those guys were geniuses. He said they were way ahead of the times. Howard said they put on a play on Broadway. He said they had the cast of Laugh In performing in the play. Howard said the play was a series of sketches and it was what Laugh In and Saturday Night Live became.
Robin said that there was something else that Chevy Chase was in. Howard said that was National Lampoon. Howard said that stuff was great too. Howard said go listen to the old albums and you'll hear how great Chevy Chase was. Howard said the same about Cheech and Chong. Howard said those guys were way more sophisticated than they get credit for.
Howard said he has talked to Jerry Seinfeld about MAD in private. He said that he told him that being in that magazine was the best accomplishment in his life. He said that Jerry was in the magazine too and he said the same thing. Howard said it was way cool.
Howard said he was reading about Robin Williams in the paper. Howard said they say he had the same disease as Casey Kasem had. He said it's called Lewy Body dementia. Howard said that there are days that he has that are bad and he can barely get out of bed. Howard said he can't imagine what it's like to have clinical depression and this Lewy Body thing. Howard said he can see why Robin Williams wanted to call it quits. Howard said he'd have a hard time killing himself. He said he gets why Robin did it though. He said he just couldn't bare the pain. Robin said he didn't want to burden other people. Howard said he could never hang himself. He said that guy wasn't fucking around. Robin said he really wanted to go.
Howard and Robin ended up talking about Carly Fiorina. Howard said that she has to calm down with the complaining about the women on The View. Howard said that Hillary Clinton gets shit from people all the time and she just deals with it. He said Carly just complains. Howard said he would fuck Carly. He said he'd fuck girls who look like Ted Cruz. Howard said if a girl is thin with nice titties and an ass he doesn't need a great face. Howard said he's sure they say the same thing about him. Howard said most people in the world have busted faces.
Howard said the hottest chick out there is Carrie Underwood. Howard said that she's fucking hot. Robin said women are ruling the charts lately. Howard said he doesn't even care. Howard said Robin used to go to strip clubs with him and he'd listen to the girls like they were rocket scientists. Howard said then you blow your load and you stop caring what they have to say.
Robin said they did a channel 9 show once and they had a Snapple girl at the table. Robin said Howard was hanging on her every word. Howard said she was so interesting. Howard said he'd love to watch Carrie Underwood and Supergirl do each other. Howard said that you have to go on MrSkin.com and see that Supergirl (Melissa Benoist) naked.
Robin said she was reading about Derek Jeter and how he may be settling down. Howard said he's engaged to a gorgeous woman. Howard said he thinks about 10 years from now he'll be jerking off to the women he used to fuck. Howard said he used to fuck Minka Kelly so he'll be jerking off to her. Howard did an impression of what that would sound like.
After that they played a bit with Michael Rapaport going off on Gary. Howard said Rapaport had a funny take on Will Murray. Howard said that he has audio of him talking about him. Howard played the clip and Rapaport was talking about Will coming into the studio when he was in there. He said that he didn't know who the fuck he was. He said he turned around and it was Will. He said he expected to see a Channing Tatum or George Clooney. He said Will is a frog faced fuck.
Howard said Will is a nice looking guy but he's no George Clooney. Howard said Rapaport is consumed with Will right now. Will came in and said that he's been begging people for his cell number. He said Rapaport is a creep. He said he rides a fine line. He said he talks about how he raped him and things like that. He said he asks him if he has a life at all.
Howard said that Will is a good looking guy. Will said look at the guys there and it doesn't take much to get that title. Howard said if KC was there he'd be the good looking guy. Howard said Will is no Channing Tatum. Howard told him to get out of there.
Howard said he has so many good things to play but he has to take a break. Howard said he has a lot of people on the phones. They went to break after that.
Howard played a clip of this guy Josh asking a guy at the gun show what he'd do if they came to take his guns away. Howard said he knows what would happen. Howard said if we had a gun collection in this country there's no way they'd turn them in. The guy's answer was that there would be a war if someone tried to take their guns. Howard played another clip of Josh talking to a guy about his gun collection. The guy said his brother probably has close to 200 guns. He said he's accumulated a bunch himself.
Howard said these guys are armed to the teeth. Howard said he has guns but he got rid of a bunch of them too. Howard said when he goes to the shooting range there are guys shooting off Uzi's. Howard said they can't even get legislation to make sure people aren't mentally ill when they get a gun. He said there's no way they're going to be able to pull the guns off the streets. Howard said he's wondering if we even need Kentucky after hearing this tape.
Howard played another clip of Josh talking to a guy about Obama and the guy said he doesn't even believe that Obama was born here. Another guy was talking about using his guns for hunting and trapping. He said that possum is the strangest meat he's ever eaten. Another guy said he has eaten turtle. Howard said that he hears this and realizes that he's a pussy and if anything ever happened where he had to survive on his own he'd be fucked.
Howard played another clip of a guy saying that no one is going to take his guns. Another guy was asked who he'd nuke if he could. He said he'd nuke Mexico. He said he's tired of them taking their jobs. Howard said that's the last place he'd nuke. Howard said he'd nuke most of the Middle East. Howard said he'd take all of the oil. Robin said it would all be irradiated if they nuked it. Howard said maybe you'd get even better mileage with that oil.
Robin read about Derek Jeter having a list of the women he has dated. Robin read a top 10 list of the women he's fucked. Howard said that he doesn't know one thing he's done in baseball but that's a hell of a list. Howard said all of these women are the ones he'll be jerking off to after 10 years of marriage. Robin said that Jessica Alba was at number 1 on the list. Howard said he thinks Minka Kelly is hotter.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was on TubeGalore last night. Howard said he was going to jerk off last night but he stopped himself. Howard said he's getting too old for that. He said he feels like he wasted a whole night. Howard said he figured he'd have more maturity by now but he doesn't.
Howard asked what the caller watched on that site. The caller said he watched ''border sex'' last night. The guy said that they have a guy and his daughter coming over the border and they snag the two and hold the father and have their way with the daughter. Howard said he's not into that. He said that's too much like rape. Howard said he would rather see a border patrol guy take the woman home and clean her up and then Supergirl walks out of the shower when she's cleaned up. Howard thanked the caller for that. Howard said he's into some weird stuff. He said he loves the fake agent stuff.
Howard took a call from Shandor who asked what he thinks about Norm MacDonald doing the Colonel Sanders commercials. Howard said he's not sure what his point is about Norm. Shandor said he thinks that Norm is taking it too seriously and he's way into that character. Howard said it's a job. He said he had to get out of this conversation. He let Shandor go after that.
Howard said they have a new show on the channels and this is a promo for it. Howard played the bit where they have Tan Mom and Jenny McCarthy playing twin sisters.
Howard said they are shooting that now. He said that they love radio movies. Howard said that will be debuting in a few months hopefully. Howard said Tan Mom is awesome. Howard said he can't figure out the whole Sal and Tan Mom thing. Howard said she left a message for Sal saying that she wants to fool around with him. She did this after saying that she didn't want to do anything with a married man. Howard played the clip and Tan Mom was having sex talk but it was hard to understand what she was saying.
Gary said Tan Mom has been sending pictures to Shuli to give to Sal. Sal came in and said that they're totally nude pictures. He said that he has led her on but he can't give her his phone number. He said that he doesn't want to be stalked. Howard said Tan Mom was in there and when Sal saw her ''side meat'' he got turned on. Sal said that's normal. Howard laughed.
Howard said they have a prank call they made using tape of Tan Mom. Howard said they called an internet radio show where this guy claims to be able to pick up women. Howard said they took tape of Tan Mom to yell at him. Howard played the clip and the guy was claiming he can tell what kind of pussy a woman has by looking at her. Then they take a call from Chris Wilding who had clips of Tan Mom talking about how she doesn't like this guy because he's too wrapped up in himself. The radio guys have a conversation with the clips for a short time before hanging up on her.
Howard said Tan Mom is something else. Howard said she's so out of control they couldn't even put her on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Sal said she is completely unaware of her surroundings at all time. Robin said that they had to lean her against her booth the last time she was in there.
Gary said they had a conversation about her on the Wrap Up Show the other day. He said they're wondering if she's really a Wack Packer. Gary said they are the only ones talking to her so she's part of the show. He said he thinks she is Wack Pack. Howard said she is.
Sal said that he saw Tan Mom went pumpkin picking and she wrote that she was making pumpkin pie for his family. Howard said she didn't look bad in that picture. Sal said she looked amazing. Howard told Sal to calm down.
Howard said he has song parodies they got about Gary unfriending him. He said that it's mind numbing how many they got. Howard said that people are all talking about how dumb it was for Gary to unfriend him on Facebook. Howard played some of the song parodies they got and there were a bunch of people singing about how dumb it was for Gary to unfriend him. Howard had one from Little Mikey and one from Psych.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about going on YouPorn and if he jerks off when the ads are playing on the side. Howard said he doesn't. He said that there is always some guy's cock on the side. Howard said there's a picture of a little cock and it's a GIF file and it grows from little to like 20 inches. Howard said he expands the video to full screen and it gets rid of the ads. The caller said that he can't do that on his computer. Howard said he has to get a Mac. Howard said the other computer companies aren't doing that. Sal said that's why they like Steve Jobs. He said they know what they're doing. Howard said they test your masculinity when they play those ads during porn clips.
Howard played another Little Mikey song parody about Gary unfriending him on Facebook. He took another call after that. The caller asked how Howard cleans his ass. Howard said he realized the other day he hadn't showered in like 2 days. He said he ran his finger across the top of his ass crack and it smelled. Howard said he's not sure how people don't shower. Howard said Beth wasn't around and he didn't think he had to shower. Robin said that men revert to their animal nature when women aren't around. Howard said he wasn't proud. He said he showered down and didn't smell like ass anymore. Howard said he felt human again.
Sal asked Robin if she has ever gotten a whiff of ass when she has gone down on a man. Robin said no. Sal said she's pass out if she went down on him right now.
Howard said Shuli was in Pittsburgh with these guys. He said Shuli felt bad for the guys so he roomed with Medicated Pete. Shuli said he roomed with Beetlejuice for 2 years and Pete isn't that bad. Howard said you have to hear this stuff. He said Pete starts singing to himself and has no regard for anyone else. Howard said you have to hear this. Howard played a clip of Pete making all kinds of noise and sort of singing. Shuli said he's listening to music and that's his ticks. Howard said imagine how annoying this mother fucker is. In that clip Pete said he was listening to Bush ''Machine Head.'' Howard played another clip where Pete was making those noises again and talking to himself. Shuli said he was just laying there while all of this was going on. That time he was listening to Alice in Chains ''Rooster.''
Howard said they were talking to Pete in the green room and Pete doesn't know anything about being circumcised. Howard played a clip where Joey saw his penis and he was circumcised. Joey said it's a huge cock too. Joey told him he'd be a great Speedo model. Howard said Joey was in love. Shuli said he was flabbergasted after seeing it. He said Joey wanted to touch it for just a second. Howard played more of the clip and Joey asked if he wanted to see his penis.
Howard said it's crazy that he has a huge cock. Howard said he has a huge cock but can't use it. Shuli said Pete took the train to Pittsburgh. He said it was 8 and a half hours. He said Pete told him he just stared out the window for the whole ride.
Howard said Joey Boots took a hit off a bong and he coughed worse than Jeff the Drunk. Howard played some audio of that. Joey was coughing for a good 30 seconds after taking the hit. Sal said this guy is giving High Pitch Eric health advice. Shuli said that Joey walks slower than Eric does too.
Shuli said he went to a Steelers game with all of those guys on Sunday too. He said he feels weird leaving them on their own. He said he's not comfortable with them on their own. He said that Joey used to pass out from that cough. Shuli said that Joey also has black feet. He said Joey says he can't feel his feet. Robin asked if he's a diabetic. Shuli said he doesn't think so. Robin asked what's up with the black feet.
Howard said the guys were out at a restaurant one day and you can see that Eric isn't sticking to his diet. He was talking about the pancakes they had at this place. He said he wanted pancakes with eggs and sausages. Joey was trying to talk him into eating less.
Howard asked who picked up the bill for this. Shuli said the owner of the Smiling Moose out there picked it up. He said he's a great guy.
Howard said Joey had to tie High Pitch Eric's shoes. Howard played a clip of that going on. Joey was telling him he was going to double knot it for him.
Howard said when Eric gets tired his voice drops down like 5 octaves. Shuli said they had to do a long walk and they took like 50 steps and Eric's voice drops. Howard had some audio of that too. Eric was saying he was tired and his voice was much lower than usual. Shuli asked Eric if that's what happens when he gets tired. Eric said yes. Howard cracked up at that. Shuli said these guys had to get a rickshaw to get to the stadium. Howard asked if Eric was shitting all the time too. Shuli said that's why he picked Pete to room with. He said he walked into Joey and Eric's room and it smelled like a bathroom at Penn Station.
Howard said he likes that they went to that diner Deluca's and they were so excited over pancakes. Howard said that the waiter should have to cut people off after eating too much. Shuli said the jacket Eric wears is so big they had to have him fold it to keep it off the floor.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said that he and Joey were staying in that room at the hotel and they had a hearing impaired room. Howard cut him off asking how many times he'd shit every day. Eric said 2 or 3 times. Howard asked if there comes a time when it won't even flush. Shuli asked if he has to use Joey's black foot to shove it down. Shuli said the room is hearing impaired and they have a doorbell outside. He said it's like a fire alarm going off when you ring it.
Howard asked if Eric jerked off in the shower. Eric said he didn't. Shuli asked where he jerked off. Eric said he didn't jerk off at all. Howard asked if he saw Pete's cock. Eric said he wasn't there for that. Shuli said he loves Donnie Wahlberg's cock. Howard asked if he sees his penis when he jerks off to Donnie. Eric said he does. He said he jerks off to him in Blue Bloods.
Howard said the guys found a chicken in Pittsburgh. He said Eric was being really friendly to it. Howard said then Joey breaks the news to him that he eats those things and Eric can't handle it. Howard played the clip and Eric was talking baby talk to the chicken. Shuli asked if he would stop eating chicken because of that. Eric said that you can't eat innocent animals. Joey asked what he thinks he eats from the store. Eric said they're chickens. Eric kept talking to the chicken.
Howard asked how much restraint he had to have to not take a bite out of the chicken. Eric said he had to be careful because it had nails. Howard said that Eric is the major assassin of chickens. Howard said he can eat a whole chicken at a time and he's telling the chicken to relax.
Eric was trying to talk to Howard but Howard cut him off and asked who can understand him. Howard said he should let him tell a story and see if they can understand it. Howard said he'll let Eric talk and see if he can get the whole audience to tune to another channel. Eric told a story about Shuli coming to his room. Shuli said he rang that hearing impaired bell like 4 times. That's about it. He said that's why he didn't open with that story. Howard did an impression of what Eric sounded like on the phone.
Howard picked up on Joey Boots and asked how he hangs around with Eric. He asked about his black feet too. Joey said he doesn't have black feet. Joey said his feet are numb from frostbite when he was in the army. Howard asked if they're black. Joey said they are not. He said he has no idea why Eric would say that.
Howard asked if Joey was attracted to Pete after seeing his penis. Joey said he had a nice cock but that's it. Shuli said Pete wanted to take a picture and see if Howard can tell whose penis was whose. Shuli said Joey's penis is almost an Innie because it's so small. Joey said he's a grower not a show-er. Howard asked what's up with Joey's stretch marks. Howard said he isn't that bad. Howard saw the picture of Pete's cock and Robin asked to see it. Howard had her take a look too. Robin said ''Oh my goodness!''
Howard said he has Joey Boots' black foot on the phone. It was the same voice as The Lump and Bobo's Toupee. Howard talked to the Black foot for a short time. Howard wondered how long they can milk this.
Eric told Howard that he tickled Joey's feet in the room that night. Howard said everyone was laughing and then Eric brings the show to a halt with that.
Howard said he would love to have a big cock. Shuli said when Pete opened his pants he had to go down and pull it out. Howard asked if Joey would have blown him based on that cock. Joey said he would have. Howard said Joey was shot out of a cannon. Joey's Foot asked Joey to stop getting guy's cum on him. Howard wrapped up with everyone and went to break after that.
Howard said that Alanis Morissette will be in soon and it's the 20th anniversary of her album Jagged Little Pill. Howard said they'll talk to her about that and what it was like for her. Howard said he has a million questions for her.
Howard played a clip from the Underdog Lady Embedded special where she's getting her seat belt put on and freaking out that she can't buckle it.
Howard played a clip of phony Arnold Schwarzenegger talking about Breast Cancer Awareness Month and offering to give tests himself.
Howard said that he has more to play and then they'll get to Alanis. Howard said that he was listening to Ben Carson, who is doing very well in the polls, and he's not sure what his deal is. Robin said what bothers her the most is that he's super religious. Howard said that's what bothers him about the republican party. He said it gets a little bizarre. Howard said the weird thing is that Ben Carson's wife, Candy, sang the National Anthem somewhere. Howard asked Robin who this sounds like. Howard played the clip and it sounded like Underdog Lady. Robin agreed. Howard played Underdog Lady singing ''God Bless America'' and she sounded similar. Howard said if he hadn't told Robin who is was she would have guessed Underdog.
Howard said that Good Day New York gave a Baba Booey mention. Howard played a clip of the hosts of the show talking about Gary and giving a couple of Baba Booey's before talking about some people who died in Canada.
Howard said he's not sure why Ben Carson would let his wife sing if she sings like that. Howard said he loves his wife but Beth can't carry a note. He said he'd tell her it's not a good idea to sing.
Howard said he has yet another song about Gary unfriending him on his Facebook page. Howard played a couple more. He had one from Psych and one from someone else. He said he has a ton more.
Howard said he may play a little Tan Mom game too. Howard said Sal called Tan Mom and made up some things that she might be able to judge. They asked her if she would judge something like The sweetest Rapist contest. Howard asked what Tan Mom would say. Robin said she doesn't know. She said she thinks she's say no. Howard played the clip of Tan Mom answering and saying she would judge that one.
Howard said they asked her if she would judge the Hottest Child Prostitute contest. Tan Mom said she would not. Howard said they asked if she would judge the Hottest Headless Body contest. Tan Mom said that she would judge that contest.
Howard said they asked if she would judge the Hottest Vaginal Wart contest. Tan Mom said she will not judge that. Howard said they'll play more of that game later on. They went to break after that. They played a commercial parody for a new Alanis Morissette album about Baba Booey, a bit about Robin singing ''Cocaine'' and a Baba Booey song parody as they were going to break.
Howard came back and said he likes that song Fred was playing but he has a problem with Roger Waters politics. Howard said that he has to try to separate the two. Howard said he has Alanis Morissette there. Howard said they're celebrating the anniversary of ''Jagged Little Pill'' which is a big accomplishment. Howard said what she decided to do was put out a box set to celebrate. Howard said it's a lot of demos and things like that. It's the process of putting together the album. Alanis said she has some demos and notes and things like that.
Howard said Alanis got on Nickelodeon and he's not sure how that happened. Alanis said that it was a cattle call and her dad encouraged her to do it. She said her brother is a musician too and they're twins. Howard said she was on Canadian TV first. Alanis said she started a record label at the age of 10. Howard said she was a little go getter. Alanis said she was a work addict. She said that she was a little adult. Howard asked if her childhood was taken away from her. Howard said it seems like it was because she was a child star and her brother wanted to be one too. Alanis said she doesn't think her brother wanted it. She said she was in the public eye but she wanted to hide too. She said it was like she had her foot on the brake and the gas pedal at the same time.
Howard said this album was an amazing accomplishment and he thinks it is because a lot of kids do what she did on that TV Show. Howard said that she went out and opened for Vanilla Ice at the age of 14. Howard said she changed her image completely. Howard said the songs sounded like this... He played a clip of Alanis' song ''Party Boy'' that she did at the age of 15. Howard said it doesn't sound like what she became. Alanis said there is a little bit of the tone. Howard said she put that out and she has her fans. Then she goes out on tour with Vanilla Ice. Howard asked if she was able to go on stage without nerves. She said she's petrified all the time. She said she's petrified right now. She said that she doesn't like people looking at her. She said she's an observer. Howard said he hates doing talk shows so he knows what that's like. Howard said he's comfortable with some things and not with others. Alanis said she has this push pull of what to do. She said that she'd rather be in sweat pants and hiding.
Howard asked if she was told not to look Vanilla Ice in the eyes. She said that he might be one of those people who doesn't like being looked at. Howard asked if she ever stared at him in the eye. Alanis said she never even saw Vanilla Ice.
Robin asked if she wrote that Party Boy song. She said she co-wrote it. Howard said what's great is that she has in her contract that Vanilla Ice isn't allowed to look her in the eye.
Howard said Alanis is now a mother. Howard asked if she would encourage her kids to do what she does. Alanis said she encourages her son to express. Howard said Alanis went on Star Search and lost to a cowboy. She said she lost miserably. Howard asked if she was depressed by that. Alanis said she was depressed because of how invested the people around her were. Howard said that her parents were those people. Howard asked if she could sense their disappointment. She said they weren't that disappointed. She said they encouraged her to keep going. Howard asked if she could imagine pushing her kids into that. Alanis said she can't but they will be expressed.
Howard said most child stars end up with sad stories. Howard said you can't transition into adulthood with the same kind of stardom. Howard said she must have tracked some of the people who were on with her. Howard said he'd bet a lot of them are depressed. Alanis said if you buy into the lies you will go down if that's what your worth is attached to.
Howard said Alanis shed her pop star clothing and went to write stuff that was more important to her. Howard said if she went down the pop route she may not have been that successful. Alanis said she started writing more about her life and that's why they dropped her from the record label up in Canada.
Howard said that Jagged Little Pill is the 20th biggest selling album in history. Howard said she sold 30 million albums. Howard said that the record company must have kicked themselves after seeing that.
Howard asked Alanis about Miley Cyrus and how she's trying to find her voice as an adult. Howard said it has to be tough when you're trapped in that image. Alanis said that it is a hard thing to do in a world that has all of these expectations.
Howard asked Alanis about how she found this guy Glen Ballard who helped with the album. Howard asked why Glen. Alanis said she had been writing with a lot of people and there weren't a lot of matches. She said she was looking for a partner who could swallow their ego and follow what they were doing in that moment. Howard said it was going to be her album and she was going to be the performer. Howard said that other person had to let her be the front person. Alanis said she would do that for Howard if they were writing something for him. Howard said Glen is the first person she meets that gets her. Howard said she wrote 99 percent of the lyrics and he wrote some of the music. Alanis said that Ironic is the only one she wrote on her own. She said after this album she started writing alone.
Howard said that her song Ironic is supposed to be irony but it isn't. Alanis said that the dictionary changed the definition and she thinks that it's part of that. Howard said she almost didn't put the song on the album. Alanis said she didn't like it because it wasn't autobiographical. Howard asked if it's one of those songs that was recorded in like 15 minutes. Alanis said they did. She said she liked the chorus so that's why she put it on the album. Howard played some of the song while they were talking about it.
Howard said it must have blown people away when she put out a song like that. Howard said she really laid it all out there with that album. Howard asked how hard it was for her to do these songs and then become a front person. Howard asked if she thought about her on stage persona. Alanis said she would base that on the lyrics. Howard asked if she was uncomfortable on stage because she had to dance around. Alanis said yes. Howard asked if she thought about dancing around or just sitting with a guitar. She said she can hide behind her band mates and things like that.
Howard said Alanis goes and writes songs with Glen. Howard said no one was really interested in the project until Madonna's manager found it. Alanis said that he heard a few of the songs and she was in the middle of writing a song and they told her to go meet with Guy Oseary. She said she was in sweat pants at the time. She said she couldn't go meet with him. Howard played some of her song ''All I Really Want'' and said she was writing this when she got the call to go meet Guy Oseary. Alanis said she met with him a few times and they wanted her to come to Maverick records. She performed a few songs for him. Howard said she performs for 15 seconds and he says that they'll go with her album. Howard asked if she was excited about that. She said she was. She said that it was a boutique label so she knew she wouldn't be lost in there.
Howard asked if they expected to sell 30 million. Alanis said that they thought it might sell 100,000. She said she didn't even want to hear that number. They started off with just 12,000 copies for the initial release. Howard said the album got on radio rather quickly. Howard said it got on KROQ and the next night she was performing in front of live audiences. Alanis said that they had a line around the block within days of the album coming out. She said that's when she started hiding behind her hair on stage.
Howard asked Alanis to perform ''You Oughta Know'' for them. She went right into the song.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard asked if she gets tired of singing that song. Alanis said she loves it. Howard said that people have guessed who she was singing about in the song and many thought it was Dave Coulier. Howard said it turns out that she may have been singing about the guy she wrote it with. She said it wasn't Leslie. She said that she will never talk about who it's about. She said she believes in writing about that stuff but not acting out. She said she's not into acting out revenge. Howard said he has many thoughts about that song. Howard asked if she had any input into what song they put out as a single. Alanis said she loved the song and she thinks that everyone else did too. Howard asked what she thinks about when she sings that song. Alanis told Howard about all of the emotions that she has when she sings about it. She said that it's about speaking and moving energy that would have had her spiral downward.
Howard said Alanis was in love with a guy and they break up and then she writes this song. Howard said it's tremendous. Howard said she had Dave Navarro and Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform on the song. She said that Guy knew them and had them come and perform. Howard asked if she sang it in front of the guys. She said she had done all of her heavy lifting and they came in and did a new mix for her. She said she liked what they did with the song.
Howard said the guys who are working with Alanis today are great too. Howard said Julian Coryell put out a cover of the song Lithium an he played that on the air. Julian said he got a massive bump on the internet after Howard did that. Howard asked how he hooked up with Alanis. Julian said that her gig was the coveted gig. He said that she's the only one who isn't crazy. He said that he's worked with a lot of people and most of them are nuts. He said that they're batshit crazy. He said he heard that no one had ever heard a bad story about Alanis. Howard said he knows guys who regularly play with different bands and that's a whole other subculture that's really different. Howard said there's almost a good story in that. Howard said he can't wait to read that book.
Howard said that Jason Orme is also there. Howard asked if he thinks that she's batshit crazy. Jason said he does not. He's been playing with her since 2001. He said she's the best.
Howard played some of Alanis' song ''Hand in my Pocket'' and asked how long it took to write that. She said that was one of those 15 minute songs. Howard said he has to get in the studio. Howard said this song was going to be the theme for Dawson's Creek. Alanis said she didn't know that. Howard said that's what he read. Howard asked if she would have allowed that. She said she's not sure. She said that she had so many incoming requests she just shut down.
Howard played ''You Learn'' from Jagged Little Pill. Howard said that she had hit after hit on this album. Howard said she must have thought it was just so easy to have a hit.
Howard played some ''Head Over Feet'' and said that lyric freaked him out because no one puts ''feet'' in a song. Howard said the rumor about this song was that it was like a love song to Glen. Alanis said that's not true either. She said she does like Glen but that's not it.
Howard said that he thought that You Oughta Know was about her relationship with Ryan Reynolds. She said that was 12 years prior to her dating him. Howard said he still thinks this song is about Glen. Alanis said Howard is very well researched but it's not.
Howard congratulated Alanis on the anniversary of this album. Howard said that he was looking at the box set and they have some of the behind the scenes stuff. Howard said she didn't thank Madonna on the album. Alanis said maybe she should now. She said that her primary relationship was with Guy but Madonna was involved. Howard said she has said that Madonna was lovely ''at first.'' Alanis said that things ended up getting neutral. Howard said he'd love to know what went on there. Alanis said it's really not what he thinks it is.
Howard said he has the list of people who Julian played with. Howard wanted to find out who he thinks is batshit crazy. Howard said that if Alanis is the most normal then who is it that he worked with. Howard said he worked with Carole King, Jewel, Amy Mann and Linda Perry. Howard said that Alanis is the most normal. Julian said she's the most normal out of everyone he's ever worked with. He said it's very unusual. Howard asked if artists have to be batshit crazy to have this fame. Howard asked if Alanis avoided some of the trappings of rock stardom by going off to India. Alanis said that there is no real support for the soul evolving. She said that her addiction is work. She said that's what she did. She said she went to India and worked over there. Howard asked if she has gotten out of that addiction. Alanis said that she tried to cold turkey it. She said that she has tried to beat the work addiction. She said you use that to avoid connections. Howard asked if she became concerned about other things about herself. Alanis said that her father said that people will love you, hate you and not give a shit about you. She said that most of the body issues were in her teens. Howard said that she was on TV and people were evaluating her a lot. Alanis said that it was tough. She said in the 90s it was very skinny standard so it was tough. She said it's more of a curvy thing now but back then it was really tough. Howard said that she used to get a lot of hate mail because the girls didn't like her on the TV show she was on.
Howard said Jagged Little Pill comes out and it becomes a monster hit. Howard said she goes on tour for a year and a half. Howard said that had to be tough. Alanis said that it was. Howard said people would break into her hotel and steal her underwear. She said that's right. She said that she looked down for 2 years and people said they didn't hear her laugh for those two years.
Howard said it must have been tough for her having people stealing her underwear. Howard said guys would love that but he can see why she'd hate that.
Howard said he thinks about how tough it must be for her to date. Howard said that he thinks about how great it might be to be with someone who has so much talent but then it would be tough if she was getting all of that attention. Alanis said it is tough but she has a great husband who can deal with it. She said they don't have any confusion about their life mission. She said that he's supporting the feminist in her. Howard said he has to interview that guy.
Howard asked Alanis about working with Taylor Hawkins who is now in the Foo Fighters. Howard asked if she was upset when he left. Alanis said that she loves Taylor. She said that was her first band and she was devastated. She said he was born to be in the Foo Fighters. Howard said that Taylor and Dave Grohl seem to be having a hell of a Bromance. Howard said if they announced they were gay he wouldn't be surprised. Howard asked if she was attracted to Taylor. Alanis said she wasn't but all of her band mates were attractive guys.
Howard said Alanis recently joined Taylor Swift on stage. Alanis said that was an interesting thing. She said that it wasn't a big sisterhood thing going on in her day. Howard said she did ''You Oughta Know'' with Taylor. Alanis said she did. Howard said that they have some things in common so that song was a good one to do. Howard asked if Taylor asked her for any advice. Alanis said she didn't. She said they did have a moment and she thinks that Taylor is built for this. Howard said she was just 6 years old when Alanis' album came out. Alanis said that's great.
Howard gave Alanis a plug for the box set for ''Jagged Little Pill'' and for her web site Alanis.com. Alanis mentioned the podcast she's doing too. She said that she wanted to thank Howard and Robin for being there for the past 20 years too. They went to break a short time later. As they were going to break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a roofing company using clips of Scott the Engineer and also a Baba Booey song parody.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if his jizz has ever graced the cheek of his wife. Howard said that has not. Howard said he's not going to come on her face. Howard said maybe by accident but he doesn't think so. Howard said she's a lady and he's not one of these guys looking to cum on someone's face. Howard said it has to be humiliating on some level. Robin asked why it's necessary. Howard said he doesn't know. He said we're so indoctrinated by pornography. He said that if he does it to anyone he'll do it to Fred. Mark said that some women want to be that dirty girl. Howard said he's known some women to be like that. Howard said that's when he says he has to get out of that relationship.
Howard said it's time for some news. They played Robin into her news with a song parody from Little Mikey. Robin started her news with a story about a man who had a worm invade his brain. Robin said that he could have died if he didn't have emergency surgery. Robin said the worm was blocking water from getting in there. Robin said they think it was from a salad or something and a tapeworm got in there. Robin said he was having severe headaches and vomiting and he was fainting. Howard said he can't take it anymore. Howard said now guys are getting worms in their brains. Howard said he's going to eat like JD now. Robin said that Chipotle has an E.Coli outbreak going on now. Robin said they have to disinfect everything and start from scratch. Howard said if he gets a headache he's not going to the hospital. Robin said if he was vomiting and fainting he would.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks he could have gotten Alanis in college. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard said she's very spiritual and girls like that wanted nothing to do with him. Howard said she also has so much talent. Howard said he doesn't think she could dig him. Howard said maybe she'd dig his painting side. Howard said the problem is that he just sits around painting all weekend.
The caller asked Howard to find the prank call Sour Shoes made to Mike Francesa as Artie Lange. Howard said he thought he did. The caller said this was just yesterday. Howard let the caller go and said he'd get to it another time. Howard said Sour Shoes calls into that show a lot and he's on for 15 minutes at a time sometimes.
Robin said that Jon Stewart has signed a deal with HBO to do some stuff for them over the next 4 years. Robin said he's going to do some shorts.
Robin asked Howard if he believes there is an alternate universe. Howard said no way. He said we're all alone. Robin said researchers think they have proof there might be an alternate universe. Robin read the story and Howard said don't drink the Kool-Aid. Howard said that they're no scientists. Howard said no one believes that.
Howard took a call from Bobo and told him that he has more celebrities who don't like him. Howard said Steve-O isn't a fan of Bobo's. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Steve was talking about how much he dislikes Bobo. He said he listens on the app and he would like to be able to skip over any Bobo segments. Bobo said he was a big fan of his but now he hopes he gets eaten by sharks. Howard said he has Bobo's Toupee on the phone too. Howard said he also has another celebrity who doesn't like Bobo. Howard said it's Norman Reedus and Jon Bernthal. Howard played a clip of the two of them talking to Wolfie. Jon said he likes The Lump but not Bobo's boring calls. Norman tried not to insult Bobo but even he didn't sound thrilled with Bobo's calls.
Howard said Yucko the Clown has a scathing phone call too. Howard played that next. Yucko was talking about how annoying Bobo is and told him to shut the fuck up with those stupid fucking questions. Bobo said he hates that Yucko now. Howard asked if he heard his Bobo impression. Howard played a clip of Yucko doing his Bobo impression. He did it as a really slow talking dope. Howard said poor Bobo. Bobo wondered why people are getting on him like that. Bobo's Toupee said that Jared from Subway loves Bobo.
Howard said he has Oprah talking about how much she hates Bobo too. Fred didn't have that one yet. Howard said he'll have it later. Howard played a song parody for Bobo. Bobo's Toupee said he thinks that Isis is more popular than Bobo. Bobo told Bobo's Toupee to go back to Jeff. Howard said Bobo's Toupee and The Lump have nothing to do with each other.
Howard said this is kind of funny too. He said they asked Bobo to Periscope during the last republican debate. Howard said he did it and he tried using words that he doesn't know the meaning of. Howard asked if he hears these words on the show and tries to use them. Bobo said that does happen. Bobo was talking about how he was befuddled by Gary and used the word ''Shrapmel'' not knowing it was ''shrapnel.'' Howard asked why he uses a word that he doesn't know. Howard said it's not shrapmel. Bobo said he said ''Shrapmetal'' once and they goofed on him. Howard said he also used the word rescinded at the end of that clip. Bobo said those things come out when he gets frustrated. Howard said he tries not to use words that he doesn't know. Bobo said that sometimes something sticks in his craw and he has to get it out. Howard played another Bobo song parody.
Howard said Hillary Clinton showed up on Bobo's Periscope. He played a bit they did with Bobo and Hillary impersonators. Bobo's Toupee said you can't even make him interesting when it's scripted.
Howard asked Bobo if he has a question for him today. Bobo said of course he does. Bobo asked Howard what the wildest thing he ever did at Camp Welmet was. Howard played another song parody about Bobo's awful questions. Howard said that was Daniel Mendelson with a big song. Howard forgot what the question was. Bobo asked if he had sex with the camp counselors there. Howard said he did. Bobo's Toupee asked why Bobo is such a retard. Howard asked if that was off the cuff. Bobo's Toupee said it was. Howard said he just hit him with some ''shrapmel.'' Howard said Bobo was talking about his ''hair system'' and also said that it's hair transplants. Howard played a clip of Bobo talking about his hair and how it's his hair. Bobo said he had it done really good. Bobo said it's real hair. He said it's a hair system. Bobo said it's real hair. Bobo said a toupee is like $79 and a hair system is like $2000. Howard said he didn't get a hair transplant. Bobo said he wanted to see if they knew the difference. Bobo's Toupee said maybe he should get a brain transplant next. Howard asked if Bobo's Toupee will change his name to Hair System. Bobo's Toupee said he's not sure about that. Howard said he should change it to Hair System.
Bobo said his son found out the other day that he wears that hair system. Bobo said he had to tell the kid that it was true. He said that some kids in his class pointed it out to him. Howard asked how old the kid is. Bobo said he's 9. Howard said of course he's going to know about it. Howard asked why lie to the kid. Bobo said he's just now asking about it.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he has to apologize to Bobo because it's like getting annoyed or mad at a retarded person. He said he's very close to that. Bobo's Toupee said that the second most hated person on the show is defending the most hated. Howard said Ralph has had a reduction in his hate because of Bobo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he used to work in the post office and Bobo was the worst tractor trailer driver they had. Bobo told him to get out of there. The caller said Bobo used to come in and they could tell it was him because the truck was never straight. Bobo told him to get outta there. He said he did a million miles without an accident. Howard said they have to leave Bobo alone now. Howard let Bobo and his Toupee go after that. They both did their sign offs. Bobo had ''Bobo out'' and Bobo's Toupee had ''Toupee out.''
Howard said this show is rough. Howard said that Bobo had his question today. Howard said he did have a couple of summers where he had a good time at camp. Robin said they've heard the story over and over already.
Robin read a story about a study that found that less and less adults believe that god exists. Robin said 89 percent believe in god. Robin said it's a 3 percent drop since a study was done in the 70s. Howard said if you have a pretty good gift of gab you can go into religion and bullshit your way through it. Howard said it's like selling snake oil. Howard said he knows all of these religions make a ton of money.
Howard took a call from a guy who didn't pick up right away. Howard gave the guy one more shot. It was Tommy from Malden who didn't know he was on the air. He asked what Howard thinks about Ohio voting down marijuana legalization. Howard said he thinks that Nick Lachey was behind that. Howard said they had a proposition to legalize it and Nick had something to do with it. He said he owns a bunch of legal pot farms and the bill was so specific that it mentioned that only his farms would be legal to grow pot. Howard said he could have made billions if it was voted in. Howard said they have to get into this business and start growing pot. Gary said he actually looked into it. Gary said they're about to legalize it in Connecticut. He said they were talking about doing it in New Jersey. He said Jason wanted to do it but you have to be a pharmacist there in Jersey. Gary said they say in Colorado everyone has a store and they're all killing. Howard asked what they're waiting for. Howard said Nick Lachey might be the brightest guy on the planet. Howard said they have to get a hold of this guy. Gary said he has friends who go to Colorado and bring back tons of shit. He said that someone in Jersey had 50 pounds of pot sent to their house.
Tommy asked if Howard likes the smell of his own farts. Howard said of course he does. Tommy said anyone who says they don't is a liar. Howard let Tommy go after that.
Robin got back to her news and read about how they're looking to legalize marijuana in Vermont too. Robin had some details about that story.
Howard said he's thinking about the pot thing and he doesn't think he could have a store. He said he'd never own a liquor store because he's seen people who are out of control. He said that he wouldn't even own a fast food restaurant unless it was health food. Howard said he'd never even advertise a soft drink. He said he almost did once but only because it was so lucrative. Robin said the people who made the latest James Bond movie turned down and offer to feature an Android phone in the movie. Howard said he gets that. Robin said they decided that Bond only uses the best stuff. Howard said that's idiotic. He said they should have taken it.
Howard said that's like asking if you'd date the hottest chick in a club if she uses the N-word. Howard said he had to make that decision. Howard said this chick called the bouncer the N-word. Howard said he almost got his ass kicked over that. Howard said he wasn't going to pay attention to it but he could have gotten his ass kicked over what she was saying. Howard said he got in his car and he had to dump her off. Howard said that he had to get rid of her. Howard said he brought her home to Hell's Kitchen. Howard said she looked like a lot of work. He said he's not sure that it would be easy to get her pants of. Howard said he never said anything to her. He just let her out of the car and got rid of her. He said he didn't know what she was capable of. He just wanted her out of the car. Robin said he should have let her walk. Howard said their next date would have been to a Klan meeting. Howard said this girl was so hot. He said she was like a dream. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a dying kid who wants to see the new Star Wars movie before he dies. Howard said there's a lot of that going on right now. Robin said she doesn't think she was thinking about that stuff when she was going through her cancer thing. Howard said she just wanted a miracle to happen. Robin said there's a big push for this guy to see the movie before he dies. Howard said they're going to open up the gates if they do this. Robin said many people are asking the terminally ill patient to see the movie. Robin said the movie is being released on December 18th. Howard said someone asked if he's going to see it in the theater. Howard said he thought about it. He said he'd rather see it at home though. Howard said he hates going to the theater. Howard said he might be able to get a copy. He said they don't really need him to see it though so maybe not. Howard said JJ shouldn't be a douche and he should hook him up. Howard said Beth will fall asleep watching it. He said that he saw The Martian and Beth fell asleep during that. Howard said he liked the movie though.
Robin said she likes to see what people collect. Howard said he doesn't collect any memorabilia. Robin said some people collect things like the license plate of the limo President Kennedy was shot in. Howard said they had a sweater that Kurt Cobain wore. Robin said they also have Kurt's hair. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for the interviews this week. He said they were excellent. He said Alanis was great. Howard said that Alanis sounds better now than ever. Howard said it's crazy.
Robin read a story about how people are asking Quentin Tarantino to apologize for calling cops murderers. Robin said that many people are calling for him to apologize. Howard said you know how he feels about this. Howard said that job is the toughest in the world. Howard said not every cop is perfect but we need to support the police more. Howard said that there is too much calling the cops in these neighborhoods that have crime. Howard said these guys are on red alert and they don't want to be shot. Howard said that they are human beings and they want to keep civility where there is none. Howard said we have to support police. He said you have to take control of your own community. Howard said don't close your eyes to it. Howard said don't remain silent. He said the cops are the only ones who can help you. Howard said he knows where Quentin is coming from. He said that there have been some incidents. Howard said that Quentin shouldn't apologize. He said that he doesn't agree with him but the guy said what he felt. Howard said many of these protestors are on the wrong side. Howard said that it would be the wild west if the cops weren't around.
Robin read a story about Robin Williams widow talking about her husband's death. Robin said that she says that he only had 3 years to live and she doesn't blame him for taking his own life. Robin said she says that Robin wasn't suffering from depression. It was this Dewy Body Dementia disease. Robin had some audio of the wife talking about that. Robin said he had early stages if Parkinson's disease as well.
Robin read a story about how Netflix is going to spend $5 billion on new shows next year. Howard said that's a smart company. He said they are putting their money where their mouth is. Howard said they took a big risk with House of Cards. Howard said they put a lot of money into that show. Robin said they didn't wimp out on it. Howard said everyone said it was a big blunder at first. Howard said they were smart doing all of that. Howard said they got him back to being a subscriber. Howard said it was a smart move. He doesn't think anyone saw it coming. Howard and Robin talked about some of the shows they have over there that are great. Howard said he loves Daredevil. Robin said Narcos is great too. She said Orange is the New Black is too. Howard disagreed with her on that one.
Robin asked Howard if he's watching that show with the woman with tattoos all over her. Howard said he has no time for that. He said he's watching too much already. Howard said that Gotham is great. He said The Walking Dead is the best on TV. Robin said Hannibal was one of the best TV shows. Howard said he never saw that. Howard said Game of Thrones is good but Ray Donovan is great. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump and how he figured out what his problem is. Robin said he thinks that there are too many people running and he's asking some of them to step out of his way. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said during the last debate they left his microphone open so you can hear him muttering. Howard played a bit they created with a Trump impersonator bad mouthing the other candidates. Howard said he wants to talk to Trump about chicks and how he evaluates them. Howard said if he was on he'd have to talk politics. Howard said he knows he'd come on but he'd have to be presidential. Howard said that's no fun. Robin said that's why Arnold stopped doing the show for years. Howard said that's right. Howard said he was great when he came in last time talking about fucking the maid. Howard said he's back to being the Arnold they love.
Robin had some audio of Trump talking about running some ads in Iowa and New Hampshire. Robin said he won't hesitate to attack other candidates if they attack first. Howard said if Trump wins it would be awesome for them. He said that he's a big Hillary fan but if Trump wins it would be so great. Howard said Trump loves them and he thinks they'd get full access. Howard said he and Trump talk on the phone pretty regularly. He said he thinks he could get to Camp David. He said that people will revolt when they see what's going on there. Howard said it's going to be a party if he's elected. Howard said he may be able to give him advice on what to blow up in the Middle East. Howard said Trump loves him. He said they have a good rapport. Howard said they had Trump on the show before The Apprentice and all of that. Howard said they'll have full access to the White House. Howard said anything they want to do they can do. Howard said it would be nice to be welcomed at the White House. Howard said maybe he'll get one of those Kennedy Center Honors things. Howard said everyone there would be disgusted. Howard said he'll have some influence if Trump is president. He said he'll be able to blow up the moon and get rid of sharks.
Robin read a story about a Pennsylvania gay couple that can't get married because one guy had adopted the other as a son so they are looked at as father and son even though they're a couple.
Robin brought up Justin Bieber's new single and had Howard play some of that. Howard played the song parody they did for his last hit song. Robin said the new one is called ''Sorry.'' Howard played some of that. Howard wondered how they can turn it into a gay song. Howard said they'll work it out by Monday. Robin said she thought that one sounded more gay than his last one.
Howard went through the top 5 songs which included Taylor Swift, Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Drake and The Weeknd. Howard had High Pitch Eric and Elephant Boy singing some of those songs. Robin sang one too.
Robin read about Spotify coming out with a list of songs that are great to start your day off with. Robin had Howard play some of those songs. After playing a couple Howard said this list is stupid.
Robin said that Straight Outta Compton is still making headlines. Robin said that it's the highest grossing movie by an African American Director ever. Robin said it's made over $200 million worldwide. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show and then said he should start off with Alanis. He said that there have been a lot of great performances on the show but he thought she sounded so good today. Gary said that it really was great. He said her voice was great and the arrangement was great too. He said her voice was perfect. Jon said her voice is so distinctive. Jon said that when you hear certain people sing you just know it's them and she's always had that about her. Josh agreed and said that you know Frank Sinatra as soon as he opens his mouth. Josh said it made sense to hear the stripped down song today. Gary said that Alanis did an interesting version with a full orchestra and that was interesting too.
Jon said that you never know what to expect from Tan Mom. Gary said that she is a Wack Packer and there is no question about it now that Howard has said she is. Gary said there were some people who didn't think she was. He said she is now. Gary asked Jon if he saw the pictures that she sent to Shuli. Jon said he did not. He said he was told about them but he walked away. Gary said Sal won't give her his phone number. He said he gets why that is. Gary said his wife could get upset if he got a shot of her tits while they're laying in bed.
Jon said he thinks that part of Sal is freaking out but the other part of him is into it. Gary said he thinks that Sal wanted her to flirt with him so he'd have some images in his spank bank. Jon asked if he can imagine what's in Sal's spank bank. Gary said he heard a clip yesterday of Sal talking about two older women who did something with his penis when he was a little kid and he still thinks about that. Jon said that Shuli has to deal with this now that Sal won't. Gary said he's sure that Sal's wife doesn't listen but that makes it even worse when you get it second and third hand. They went to break after that.
Jon asked Josh about what it's like for him. Josh talked about how he does his thing with music and how it's an introverted thing to record but you have to go the extrovert way to get out on stage and perform.
Jon said that Howard played some of Alanis' pop song today. He said that she went from that to this Jagged Little Pill album. Gary said the thing is that she's really not an angry person and she was just an angry 20 year old at the time. Gary said not every song is angry but it was a point in time that's now frozen in time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Alanis' voice gets richer the older she gets. He said he could listen to her and Jewel every other week on the show. He asked Gary how many years Bobo drove a truck. Gary said he doesn't know but he claims to have riven over a million miles without an accident. The caller said he's driven over 3 million but that's over 36 years. Gary said they'll have to ask Bobo about that.
Jon said Howard spoke with the band that came in with Alanis. He said that Howard talked to the guy who covered the song Lithium and got to talking to him about what he thinks about Alanis. He said that guy was talking about how nice it is to work with Alanis after working with some tough people in the business. Jon asked Josh about that. Josh said he thinks the bigger a person is the nicer they are. He said it's the younger people with a chip on their shoulder that are tough to deal with. Gary agreed with that. He said that the biggest attitude he got was from a band that had just one hit. He said they were very young and headstrong. He said they tried to help them out and they looked at them like they were old fucks even though he was only 35 or so at the time. Gary said the guys from 5 Seconds of Summer are the same age but they seem perfectly fine. He said maybe it's the struggling bands.
Jon asked Josh if he's on the Bobo hate train. Josh said that he is the most annoying caller that there ever has been. He said that Hanzi is at least whiny kid funny. He said there's never anything that makes him laugh with Bobo. Gary said that even after all of the stuff Bobo has gone through he asked that awful question about Camp Welmet. Jon said he thinks he might be going to the archives for those questions.
Jon asked if people hate Boob or are people really jumping on the bandwagon. Gary said that Bobo never comes across well when he defends himself. He said now he's kind of a douche to people. Jon asked what he can do to get people back on his side. Gary said he has to let it roll off his back but he can't do that. Josh said that Mariann from Brooklyn knows where she fits in but Bobo thinks he's entitled to it. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said when he thinks about it someone has to love you so much to hate you that much. He said he'd love to get a woman to love him that much. Gary said maybe she went out with a guy and she fell out of love and the guy tried to be nice to her. He said that's her reality and that's how she wrote it. Jon asked Gary if he's flattered by the songs that make fun of him. Gary said the ones that make him laugh are flattering but not all of them do.
Jon asked Josh about the song parodies and if he thinks that they should be flattered by it. Josh said he likes the people who can actually sing doing those song parodies. Gary said he likes the clever ones. He said if Sal does one where he's just making fun of him like he's done 100 times before then it's not so funny to him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was wondering how Sal can lust after Tan Mom when she's like a 4 and he has an 8 at home. He said it shows the craziness in his head. Jon said that she's not a 4 in Sal's eyes. Jon said that she is the type that he would go for in his fantasy world. Gary said Sal has a beautiful wife at home and that's what he wants to go home to. He said that Sal has a fantasy like many men do and Tan Mom is that woman. Gary said Sal has made it very clear that he's willing to trade looks for some really vile behavior. He said he'll take a 2 he can urinate on over a 10 that he can't do that to. Gary said that Sal is turned on by the idea that a woman will let you do things to her. Gary said he's into doing things to women that are taboo.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't get Bobo and he thinks he's mental. Jon said Bobo came back and he was itching to come back. Jon said he also revealed that on Halloween his son discovered that his hair isn't real on the top of his head. Gary said he had to know it was going to happen at some point. Gary asked if someone who plays a round of golf 5 days a week can he still be a good dad. Jon said he thinks so. Gary said he thinks of Bobo like that. He said he listens to the Stern Show all day but then he goes home to his son.
Jon said Howard started off talking about his love for Soupy Sales and MAD Magazine. He said the more he talks about it the more you realize how it formed his sense of humor. Gary said he so identifies with that. Gary said when you're a boy you get MAD magazine. He said he never stopped getting it. He said that he had all of his magazines stacked up. He said he didn't get rid of them until he was like 25 years old. He said that's how much he loved them.
Jon said Shuli talked about what he went through with Medicated Pete, Joey and Eric. He said he wonders if Shuli likes being part of all of that. Gary said he is a correspondent so he goes out there with those guys. Jon asked if Pete really didn't know that he was circumcised. Gary said he may just not know what the word means.
Jon got in some plugs for the Underdog Lady Embedded show that's coming up on Friday. Gary said that is Shuli's Vietnam. Jon got in some plugs for Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Jon asked Brann how good Richard is as a drummer. Brann said he's great and he's one of his favorites. He said he's a sick drummer. He said he met Richard a few years ago back stage at a Slipknot show. He said that he was surprised when Richard ended up on Howard's show. Jon asked where Howard falls in the metal scene. Brann said that he has been with the metal heads since he was a kid. Jon said the following is pretty strong when it comes to Howard.
Gary said that Mike Piazza was up there and knew Richard from drumming in Iced Earth. Gary said they were at the baseball game and Richard showed up wearing the Royals stuff so mike saw him there and asked why he was wearing that shit and walked away.
Jon said they had a lot of great stuff going on this week. He said George Takei was in and he's willing to talk about anything. He said he has a big Broadway show opening this weekend. Jon said Howard can't go because he has other things going on. Brann said one of those reasons is that he doesn't like Broadway shows. Gary said he and Robin will be there. He said they're all out there to support George. He said George has been talking about getting this thing done for 10 years now. He said he got it done.
Jon said that George has legitimate people in it and he's in it himself. He said George is living his life to the fullest. He said he's happy and doing stuff and he's into it. Jon asked if Gary thinks he's more or less gullible these days. Gary said he's the same as he's always been. He said the only thing he thinks he's learned is not to goof on Brad so much. He said he goes back to that thing every time. He said he dreams about what Brad used to be. Jon said George just can't help himself.
Gary said he and his wife went to a dinner last year and Brad and George were there. After dinner Mary said to him that George is kind of mean to Brad. Gary said Brad had lost a lot of weight and George was kind of saying that he really did have to lose a lot of weight right in front of him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to defend JD against Bryan Cranston. He doesn't like that he's making fun of JD. Jon said he's not alone in goofing on him. The caller asked if he should be fine with it. Jon said if Bryan takes the time to do it, and it's in a loving way, it's kind of cool. Gary said he thinks Bryan likes JD. Jon said you'd think JD would kind of dig that one of the best actors of all time is doing an impression of him. The caller said he should leave him alone. Jon asked if Gary should be left alone. The caller said Gary can take it. Gary said he thinks everyone there has to take it to some degree.
Gary said he thinks that he's the lightning rod for that kind of stuff on the show. Brann agreed. He said he enjoys that though. He said he enjoyed Gary in the monkey costume. Gary said he hated putting that on. He said that he did that for Butt Bongo Fiesta. Brann said he has that tape. Gary said he was doing some bit at an arena football thing and they asked him to put the costume on there. Gary said he thought the guy was kidding but he wasn't. Jon asked if that was the most demeaning thing he ever did. Gary said no to that. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said someone told him that some of those guys sit in on some metal bands and do it uncredited. Jon asked if they wear a mask or something. Jon asked if Brann has that going on in Mastodon. Brann said it happens all the time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it was kind of cool to hear Howard talking to 5 Seconds of Summer. Jon said he thinks that Howard was really interested in hearing how it is when they're that young and going through this success. The caller also talked about how Gary has had his balls busted but JD is the low man on the totem pole with that. He said Gary has an outlet for it but JD doesn't. Gary said he thinks JD just chooses not to use an outlet. He said it's not in his nature to bust balls back. He said he once struck out at Robin and shocked them all. Jon said that Gary is the executive producer of the show so it's a little bit odd for him. He said he has to maintain a level of respect in the office. Gary said that's why he was upset over what Scott said about the Mets tickets.
Gary said Sal mentioned the tickets and said he got them through the show but he really didn't. He said he got them through a friend that he's known for a long time. Jon said Sal loves coming in and busting Gary's balls when Howard laughs. Gary said Sal is so comfortable doing it. Gary said he and Jon know that it can't end well sometimes. He said that the best thing to do is know when to leave. He said that some people stay in there too long. Jon said sometimes Howard gives you a look and you know when to leave. He said other people stay in there because it's their chance to shine. Gary said that some people stay in and try to get on another subject and that's when things can go wrong.
Jon asked Brann if it's a bad idea to argue with Howard over something. Brann said it's not a good idea to argue with him. Jon asked if Fred or Howard is worse. Brann said Fred can be pretty vicious. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Jon said they talk Wack Pack there all the time. He said Beetlejuice gets chosen all the time as the top guy. Brann agreed. He said it's his charming personality. Jon said he always pulls it off when he comes on the show. Jon asked Brann who else is a favorite. Brann said Crackhead Bob is one. Gary said he hasn't spoken to him in a long time. Brann said he still says his line ''Don't do dack'' frequently.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard was talking to Alanis Morissette about her song and who it was about. He asked if Howard revealed who Carly Simon was about in the interview. Gary said that Howard was doing a joke when he mentioned Warren Beatty. Gary said Howard actually forgot who Carly told him it was. Gary said he's not positive Howard even knows. Jon said Alanis wants to keep her song a mystery. Gary said her real reason for not telling people is that it's a revenge song and she doesn't want to show who it is because people would be negative to that person. It's all about her extracting revenge in her head.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a huge metal fan. He said he read a few months ago that the guitar player in Mastodon hates metal. Brann said he did and he's such a silly goose that Brent. He said he's one of those guys who doesn't have a filter and doesn't think through what he's saying in the press. He said he thinks what he means is that he's not a fan of the newer heavy metal stuff. He's a fan of the classics. Brann said that he probably doesn't like 75 perfect of heavy metal either. He said the music he likes is probably a small piece of the pie.
Jon asked Gary what it's like when people have heard Howard for a long time and they get to meet him finally. Jon asked how you treat him. Gary said a lot of people come in and just tell him how long they've been listening. He said you can just say it out of respect than anything. Gary said it's an incredible compliment to say that it's a big part of you.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:55am.
Jon said he wanted to start off with the Alanis Morissette interview. He said her performance might be one of the best ever. Gary said that the morning performances started many years ago. He said when they first started they would just ask someone to play something with the guitar they had in the studio. He said it became the normal thing to do. He said he thinks that performances are expected now. He said they weren't back then.
Jon asked Danny about the performances on the show and if he expects something different. Danny said there they really care about the sound coming through and these guests bring their A-game. He said that Alanis is still interesting and her voice is just as good today as it was 20 years ago. Jon said that's a good point. He said her voice holds up so well. Gary said he wishes they had cameras around like they used to. He said she was in the green room and rehearsing so it was like listening to a private moment. Gary said they have an amazing engineering department there and they really do care about the sound. He said they like it when they do a unique performance there too.
Jon asked Gary about the days when they had to have the drummer set up in the hallway at K-Rock. Gary said that the drummer gets no respect and they're like an afterthought sometimes.
Danny said when he's listening to the show and he hears these different performances it might get him to buy an album that he normally wouldn't buy. Gary said it was like that with Sia when she did her version of ''Diamonds.'' He said people were blown away by that.
Gary talked about how they didn't have a lot of room at K-Rock and they didn't have a way of muffling the drums so they had to put the drummer in the hall. He said people would get pissed off.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they would ever do a big show like they used to do with the roasts. Gary said he thinks the big Birthday Bash was one of those kind of shows. The caller also asked about some of the music guests that he's liked on the show. They talked about John Legend, Chris Martin and Alanis.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had no idea who Ed Sheeran was until he heard him on the Stern Show. He also asked what their favorite musical guests have been. Gary said it's hard for him to separate. He said some of the performances he liked were about how they came about. He said he liked the Bon Jovi ''With a Little Help From My Friends'' and that's because of the way it all came about. He said Howard asked them to perform a song and they came up with the idea during the break. He said the song is flawed but that makes him love it even more. Gary said one of his other favorites was when they were in London with Jack Bruce and Jack and Leslie West did a song over the phone. He said Leslie was on the phone playing guitar and he wondered how he could do that. He said those are two that jump out.
Jon said he wasn't here for Everlong when Dave Grohl did it. Jon said the one he wishes he was there for was Stevie Wonder. He said he thinks he was incredible. He was also knocked out by Metallica. Jon said he also had zero expectations for Lady Gaga and he was blown away by her. Danny gave his thoughts on that too. He liked Billy Joel and he also thought Daryl Hall was great when he came in and played. He also threw in the Jesus Twins.
Gary said one other one he wanted to talk about was James Taylor the first time he was on the show. He said he had to be in the studio for that and he sat on a garbage pail while he played and he was only 6 feet away from James Taylor playing one of his favorite songs. They went to break a short time later.
Gary asked if he's on Facebook and he puts up pictures of himself drinking and partying but nothing horrible and he's punished by an employer, are they within their rights. Danny gave his thoughts on that as well. He said when you apply for a job people will look for you misbehaving on social media. He said they may decide not to hire you based on that. Danny said in America the default rule is that they may choose not to hire you based on anything. He said the general rule of thumb is that if you're drinking, even if it's legal, avoid posting something that an employer may see and may not want to hire you for.
Gary said the people making those decisions may have done those same things but may not have photos of it out there. Danny said it's one thing to do it and another to flaunt it. He said the employer may be making a call on the person's judgment. He said no one is immune from the social media posts. He said that it's a hot area of employment law.
Jon asked if people should think twice about friending someone at work. Danny said when it comes to social media it can constitute an adverse employment action. Gary asked if he friends someone below him at work isn't he already putting them in an uncomfortable position. Danny said this is a form of free speech and he has seen employers tell employees to avoid friend requests of your subordinate because it can only lead to problems.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the great Richard Christy showing up to the Mets game with Gary wearing Kansas City Royals clothes. Jon asked if sports fans have to think twice before doing something like that. Danny said yes. He said it's sad but there are plenty of cases of people going to pro sports or even college sports and you can get a beat down. Danny said beating someone up based on their team is like a hate crime. He said you have to think that it's a modern day hate crime. He said it's really interesting. He said sports fans have to beware. He said 95 percent of the fans are good but you have to worry about that other 5 percent. Jon said you have to have some level of respect. He said if your team is losing it's hard to keep your perspective.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if Richard has been rubbing in the Royals win at all. Gary said not even a little. He said he wanted the Mets to beat Kansas City but he wanted them to beat everyone. He said that they were both happy that their teams were in the Series. Gary said they do the complete opposite of rubbing it in there.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she's a big fan and she can't wait for that Underdog Lady special today. Gary said he remembers back at channel 9 they did a ''Documentary'' on Underdog and he's watched it about 100 times. He said that it never aired though. He said in that she fixated on an orange and she wanted someone to take ownership of it and she got all freaked out when no one would. He said he can't even explain how insane it is. He said she's as interesting today as she was 30 years ago. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said he went to a Jets / Bills playoff game and all of these Jet fans were going in drunk and there was a guy holding up Flutie Flakes and a guy knocks the box out of his hand and throws the flakes in his face. He said that's just taunting people so he had to expect something like that to happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who has called in about how he still tapes the show on cassette. Jon said he could get the show On Demand too. The caller said the cassette thing works fine for him. Jon asked if he archives it. The caller said he re-records over the tapes. He said that he catches most of the show anyway. Jon said that no one is ever going to question his loyalty to the show. Jon said the show used to be backed up on cassette. Gary said they used Maxell cassettes and then Tom ordered cheap stuff cassettes and they started going back to use them and the quality of the cassettes were affecting the quality of the show. He said that they went back to Maxell and worked out some deal with them. Gary said Tom wanted them to re-record over shows and if Howard listened to that there wouldn't be tape of the old shows. Gary said they'd have to get recordings from people who recorded on AM stations.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and the Underdog Lady special that's airing after this show. They were done around 12:05pm.