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Howard started the show talking about it being a good day today. He said former police commissioner Ray Kelly will be coming in. He said it's a good day to talk to him about what went on in Paris. Robin said Ray wants to go back to doing things the old fashioned way because of encryption these days. Howard said Ray was in the military in Viet Nam. Howard said he was in the service with him. He said here are some things they can't talk about of course. Howard said Ray was in Viet Nam as a combat guy. Howard said he became a cop and for 7 months he was on the street but got promoted after that. He said he was like a super cop. Howard said he'll wait until he comes in to talk more about that. Howard said maybe he can tell them what they should be doing. Howard said he thinks he knows what they should be doing. Robin said they should ask Trump what he thinks we should do. Howard said Bernie Sanders said something about fixing the crops to get them to stop. He said it was pretty confusing.
Howard said the first thing they should do is immediately cancel all visas to this country. Howard said put a moratorium on it for a while. Robin said that's not right. Howard said they also have to figure out if it's ISIS or ISIL. Howard said the president keeps calling it ISIL. Robin said she was watching a show and they kept saying ISIS and ISIL. Howard said it's ISIS. Howard said he did the same thing with the Taliban when he was pronouncing it in a different way.
Howard said his idea is to cancel all visas. He said no one comes in. Howard said then the people who are here on visas are thrown out if they have expired. Howard said the only boots they have to put on the ground are the people who track these fuckers. Howard said they could have stopped 9/11 that way because all of those guys were here on expired visas. Robin asked how that's going to help with people who have good visas. Howard said no one comes in right now. He said we're under attack so we keep people out for a year or year and a half. Robin said this affects students who want to come here. Howard said go study in your country.
Howard said what you do is take classes over Skype. Fred said he's with him on that. He said his idea is to put a wall around the country and stop all flights in and out of the country. Howard said if he were president it would be happening already. Howard said it would be huge. He said we don't need boots on the ground in other countries.
Robin asked if he'd let her leave the country. Howard said she can leave. Howard said that he's not going to stop that. Howard said he's just keeping other people out. Howard said he doesn't think he wants to be president. Howard said just about anyone can run these days. He said he thinks he could have been governor and gone on to president. He said that Ben Carson is asked direct questions and he can't answer them. Howard said he has a plan and he's not even running.
Robin said they say that a lot of the Syrian refugees were men. Robin said most of them were. She said that they showed pictures of women and babies but there were more men. Howard said that the baby probably had a bomb strapped to it. Robin said there probably weren't even a lot of women. Howard said he's not sure why people are so anxious to take in refugees. Howard said they should throw them back into Syria. Howard said then clear out that viper's nest. Howard said that today is the best day for Ray Kelly to be there.
Sal came in screaming about the ''swami camel jockeys'' and how we have to keep them out of this country. Howard was ready to kick him out after a few seconds. Howard said that he realizes that both he and Sal are idiots. Howard said they're like the Three Stooges. Howard asked Sal if he even knows a country that borders France. Sal said England and Germany. Robin told him to try again.
Gary said he and Sal went to France together. Gary said they went to Notre Dame and Sal thought it was named after the college. Howard said Sal doesn't get what he's saying. Sal was so angry and upset he was talking about how they have to eat his cock. He said 8 years ago it was about Obama and what he's going to do. He said he hasn't done shit. He said John Kerry is sitting around with his thumbs up his ass too. Howard said Sal voted for Obama. Sal said he made a mistake. Sal said he only voted for him once.
Howard said he heard that Sal is convinced there is a sleeper cell in his neighborhood. Sal said that the house across the street from him has sheets hanging up. He said they give him free coffee at the convenience store because they think he's Muslim. Howard said he's been mistaken for a terrorist at the airport too. Sal said he can't win with the dark eyes and all of that. Howard said Sal looks like the guy they're searching for over in France.
Sal said we have to wipe this ISIS out. He said we did it in Germany and we have to do that now. Howard said he was thinking about that and how he just has to be sure he's too old to fight. Howard said that Sal might be young enough. Howard said they're going to send General Sal over there to fight. Howard said he won't even know where he is.
Howard asked Sal about the sleeper cell in his neighborhood. Sal said there's an odd looking house in his neighborhood. He said they don't mow the lawn, cinder blocks laying around and sheets hanging in the windows. Sal said the sheets are curtains. He said it's also one of those houses that the lights are on only around 2 in the morning. Howard said here is always someone like that in every neighborhood. Sal said he's sure that Robin would think the same thing if she came there. Howard said it could just be someone who is mentally ill or something. Sal said it could be but it's bad.
Howard was kicking Sal out but Gary told Howard about how Sal changed his Facebook profile picture to be a photoshopepd picture of him and his wife with the French flag behind him. He said it's not the same picture that everyone else is doing. Sal said someone created that for him. He said it was very nice of them. Gary said that Sal was about to jump on him and asked what he did. Howard said Sal did something. He posted a picture of him and his wife with the French flag behind them. Howard said Mary is painting a picture with a flag. Howard said there is nothing to do and Sal did nothing. Gary said Sal thinks he helped the cause when he did nothing. Sal said he didn't do anything wrong either with that picture he posted. Howard said the president of France is rejoicing because Sal has that picture up. Howard said now it's time to let Sal go. He said that they heard his rant. Sal was starting to rant about something from 2003 and freedom fries and all of that.
Howard played the French national anthem. Robin was singing along with that. Howard asked how she knew that. Robin said she took French. Fred played her singing a song. Howard said he's excited about Ray Kelly coming in today. Sal said he is too. Howard told Sal to get out after that.
Howard said that song wasn't a hit but they were good. Howard asked if he's right. Robin said she's on the fence. Howard said oh no she's not. Howard said they were good. Howard said Richard told him he bought that album when it came out in the 80s. Fred said he thinks it was 1989.
Richard came in and said he listened to that song thousands of times in high school. He said they used to play it on Headbanger's Ball. Howard said he did that show. Howard said he did that with Leslie West. Howard said Leslie is going to call in on Wednesday. He said he was talking to Leslie about Fred. He said Fred will write to Leslie and ask him questions. Howard said he asked if he improvises his leads or plans them out. Fred said he thinks he improvises until he comes up with something. He said he actually forgot what Leslie's answer was.
Howard asked Richard if he knew this band Eagles of Death Metal. Richard said he does. He said that he thinks that the guy who created the band wanted it to be like the Eagles but the Eagles of Death Metal. Fred corrected him and gave the story of how they came up with the name of the band. Richard said he is familiar with the band. He said they're pretty popular. Howard asked Fred if he has some of their music. Howard said he's never heard of them. Richard said their merchandise guy was killed and they have a GoFundMe set up for his family. Richard started to break down crying.
Fred played some of the Eagles of Death Metal music. Howard said he saw an interview with one of the survivors and she was so hot. Howard said there were like 1500 people in that club. Robin said it was a theater. Howard said he thought it was a club. Howard said that was a sad story. He said he's looking forward to talking to Ray Kelly about it though.
Fred played anther Eagles of Death Metal song and Howard thought they didn't sound very metal. Fred said the name of the band was a joke. It's more of a rock band sound. Richard said he'd call it desert rock. Richard started to explain that to Howard but Howard cut him off saying he doesn't care. He said that he's off his rocker. Richard said they're from the desert so that's why they call it that.
Howard asked if Richard saw the picture that Sal posted for the French. Richard said he did. He said he donated to the family of the merch guy who died in the attacks. Robin said that's actually doing something.
Howard said this chick he saw being interviewed was model hot. Richard said when he toured with his band there were no chicks. Howard said that was real metal, that's why.
Howard said he was thinking about how brave Richard's dad is. He said he admires him. He said that if there was a zombie apocalypse his dad would know what to do. Howard said his dad should be in charge of going after ISIS. Howard said he wonders if he has tried human flesh. Howard said it's possible. Howard said that guy is a survival dude. Robin said she saw pictures of Gary's dad that he posted on Facebook. Howard said Sal put a picture of the French flag behind him and his wife. Richard said he loves it when Sal gets picked to be scanned at the airport. He said he gets so mad about it. Richard said he has that big bag of makeup that he carries with him.
Gary said Richard posted a picture of his dad on Facebook for Veteran's day. Gary said he put up a picture of his dad and Sal put up a picture of Elvis in his military uniform.
Howard said there's a link on HowardStern.com if you want to help out the merch guy from that band. Howard said he has to take a break. He said he has so much to get to today. He said he has a shitload of material there. Howard said he really hates taking breaks. He said he thought when they came to satellite there weren't going to be commercials. Robin said maybe he should ask someone about that. Howard said yeah, he'll do that while he's asking for more money.
Howard said he was talking big to Beth over the weekend. He said that he was blowing off steam and she was telling him not to talk about that on the air. Howard said he was talking about flattening some countries and having nuclear fallout and she told him not to talk about it. Howard said he's not really president so he can't do any of this.
Howard said he was in France for the Cannes film festival once but he sat in his hotel room most of the time. Howard said he would step out and the Paparazzi would take pictures of him not even knowing who he was. Howard said he went out to lunch with his agent once and his agent thinks he speaks French but he doesn't really. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Sal's high school picture looks a lot like the terrorist they're looking for in France. Howard said that he could be easily mistaken for that guy.
Howard said that commissioner Ray Kelly is a very well respected guy. Howard said he looks good too. Ray came in and said he dropped about 8-10 pounds. He said he's eating better and he's in the gym. He said he can crank out maybe 10 pull ups. He said he'd like to say 20 but he can't do that many. Howard asked Ray about how they throw people right out of the Marine officer training if they can't do what they need to. Ray said they had about a 60 percent attrition when he was there.
Howard asked Ray if he had anyone in his family who were cops. Ray said his dad was a milkman. He said he worked in the shipyards too. He said he became an IRS guy. He said he had 3 older brothers in the Marine Corps though so he had to go in.
Howard asked if Ray knew how to fight and stuff when he went in. Ray said he did. He said he didn't know how to shoot though. Howard asked Ray about being robbed when he was just 8 years old. Ray said his shoes were taken. He said he was in Central park. Howard said that he had that happen to him in class in high school. Howard said he did fight but he lost. Howard said Ray talks about this kid in his book. Howard said they wanted to set him up in a boxing match. Ray said that it was a way of protecting your turf. He said this was a mother who set up the fight. He said she formed a ring for them to fight in. Ray said he had to fight but the mother was cheering him on. Howard asked if his siblings fought. Ray said that his older brothers smacked him around.
Howard said Ray is a real man. He said that he can't be a pussy to join the marines. He said once you leave your parent's home that's it. Howard said school came very easy to Ray. Howard asked if he had his IQ tested. Ray said he had a GCT test but that's a different deal. He said he tested high in that. He said he wasn't genius level. He said he didn't have the score but it was high.
Howard asked Ray if people wondered why he joined the marines instead of going to college. Ray said he actually joined after college. He said he was in a cadet program and it was the first of it's kind. Howard said he was already a cop kind of and then he got into the marines and he did that knowing he'd be a cop after the Marines.
Howard asked how quickly he went to Viet Nam. Ray said it was pretty quickly. He said that he had plenty of training though. He said the Marine Corps is all about training for war so they're all prepared for that. Howard asked if he knew he was going to be in combat. Ray said that it was a ticket punching kind of thing. He said you'd go for a month or so and come back but then everything changed and they started operations over there.
Howard asked Ray about leading a platoon and what that's like. Ray said that they teach you all of that and they instill the leadership traits that you need. He said that helped him every day. He said he had a black book that he followed.
Howard said the reason that Ray is so good at his job as a police commissioner is because of that discipline. Ray said it worked for him. Howard gave him a plug for his book ''Vigilance: My Life Serving America and Protecting Its Empire City''.
Howard asked what the right title is to use for him. Ray said that he can call him Ray. Howard said he was the commissioner though. Howard asked what he thought of Commissioner Gordon. Ray said he would have tried to arrest Batman. He said he was working above the law.
Howard said his uncle was a cop and it was so difficult for him to get where he did. Howard said there is a lot of luck involved too. Ray said that's true. Robin said that Howard pointed out that he started to rise quickly. Howard said he wants to ask him about Viet Nam first. Howard asked if he talked about how many guys he killed over there. Ray said most vets don't talk about it. Howard said if he served over there he'd be bragging about it. Howard asked if he knows guys who bragged too much about that. Ray said he doesn't know any personally but he has heard some stories. Howard said it seems like everyone is on the same page pretty much. Ray said there are people who write about it in books and how there is a code of silence over that.
Howard asked if Ray has any special awards from Viet Nam. Ray said that he does have a couple of commendation awards. Robin asked what he thinks about these people who take credit for being in a war and didn't actually serve. Ray said it's crazy because it's easy enough to find out.
Howard said Ray got out of the marine corps and ended up becoming a cop. Ray said that his wife and son were waiting for him to come out of the Marines and he felt like he had to go home to them. Howard said it's hard to be in the military and have a family. Howard said that influenced his decision. Ray said there are people who have families in the military and it has to be a heavy burden for them. He said it's very tough these days.
Howard asked if he has become an anti-war guy these days. Ray said that the politicians don't know what it's like. He said it's a very tough thing to deal with. He said that you see the brutality of what man can do to other men. He said that the politicians who have served are the ones who hold back on sending people off to war. He said that these other people don't know what it's like so they think they want to go off to war.
Howard asked about the people who were able to get out of serving because of who they knew. Ray said that Credence Clearwater Revival's ''Fortunate Son'' was all about that. Howard said that Ray plays drums. He asked if that's how he releases stress. Ray said he's clearly and amateur. He said he still plays much to the chagrin of the neighbors. He said he has jammed with bands but no one Howard would know.
Howard asked what bands he likes. He said he likes The Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, One Republic and others. Howard said he heard he was one of the first to arrive on the scene of John Lennon's shooting. Ray said he ended up driving right past it that day. He said they didn't have good communications in those days so he didn't knew what was going on at the time.
Howard said when Ray started his police career he spent 7 months as a street cop and quickly went up the ranks. Ray said he spent about 2 and a half years and then he got promoted to sergeant and went to East Harlem. He said there was a lot of turmoil there at the time. He told Howard what he did there in Harlem.
Howard asked if he went undercover in a gay bar. Ray said they were trying to infiltrate them for liquor law violations and they had to pass muster in there. Howard asked if he spent a lot of time in there. Ray said he went right in and came right out. He didn't spend a lot of time in there.
Howard asked if there was a lot of bribery going on back then. Ray said he didn't see a lot of that. He said that when you deal with drugs you deal with a lot of money. He said he thinks those problems are behind them now. He said there may be times when an individual can go wrong.
Howard asked if Ray watches Homeland and shows like that. Ray said he does. He said that he used to like One Adam 12 and shows like that as a kid. Ray said he had a friend who was an advisor for NYPD Blue. He said they replicated the offices from the real precinct to do that show and it was impressive.
Howard said when he watches Homeland he gets really freaked out by the criminal minds and the plotting they do. Howard asked if Ray was on high alert all the time. Ray said that you are on alert. He said there aren't that many geniuses out there plotting in reality. Howard asked Ray if he would tell his family about all of this stuff that was going on that people don't have a clue about. Ray said there are things going on and you're more aware of the dangers that your family faces.
Howard said Ray was into stop and frisk and he doesn't understand why they stopped it. Howard said it seems like a great way to know what's going on and develop intelligence. Ray said it's a valuable tool for officers to have. He said that it's come down and knocked down some violence. He said it works. Howard asked if it's hard for him not to be the commissioner now. Ray said he thinks that things were good while Bloomberg was in office. He said the department had a 70 percent approval rating and he had a 75 percent approval. He said he just has to get over it because he's doing other things now.
Howard asked Ray about what the answer is for this ISIS thing and what we should be doing. Howard said he thinks that we should stop with the visas and lock down the country for a year or so. Howard asked what we can do to stop the flow of traffic from these countries. Ray said we need the brain power coming in from those other countries. Robin said that's what she was thinking. Ray said we need a robust vetting process for people coming in. He said we just don't have the ability to do that when they are coming into the country. He said that we should have tests for these people. Howard said we should be looking into who is there and who is there with an expired visa. Howard asked if they will ever do that. Ray said it's tough to say. He said this Paris thing could be a game changer though. He said we'll see what happens. He said that it may be one of the developments from this attack.
Robin said that on Ray's watch they foiled a lot of terrorist plots. Ray said that New York city is still one of the biggest targets out there. He said terrorism is theater and this is the biggest stage.
Howard asked about Ray being the first guy to crack down on the squeegee guys. Howard said they're like thugs in his opinion. Howard said that these guys come up and what do you do? He asked how come it's happening again. He asked what they have to do to get rid of them. Ray said he thinks you have to be proactive in going after them. He said that they have some very aggressive pan handling and you have to go after them. Ray said you have to keep going after them. He said the homeless thing is a complex issue.
Howard said there was a reduction in that kind of activity when Bloomberg and Giuliani were in office. Howard asked if anyone asks what they can do now that it's coming back. Ray said no. He said that they had a homeless outreach program and you have to be engaged. He said that the police were very much involved back then. Ray said that you need to help the homeless and that's what the cops are there for. He said he's not sure why there are so many young homeless out there. He said you'd think they'd go somewhere warmer.
Howard asked if there are some homeless who are under cover. He asked if they have guys under cover in places that they don't even know. Ray said they follow leads wherever they are. He said it's possible that they can go into a mosque or a church for something like that.
Howard asked Ray if he has a lot of weapons in his house. Ray said he has small arms. He said he won't talk about everything he has. He said he has a .38. He said he has a gun that was given to him by his security detail when he retired. He said it has a laser attachment on it. Howard asked if he goes to the firing range often. Ray said he hasn't gone that often. Howard asked if he ever had to pull his gun out when he was on duty. Ray said of course he did. Howard asked if he misses that. Howard laughed as he asked about that.
Howard asked Ray about being registered independent. Howard said he works with republicans though. Howard asked if he talked every day on the phone when he was commissioner. Ray said he did. Howard asked if they'd talk about what was going on every day. Ray said he would make the call to the mayor. He said that was his job to keep him informed.
Howard gave Ray another plug for his book (''Vigilance: My Life Serving America and Protecting Its Empire City'') and asked if he is going to run for mayor. Ray said he has no plans to do that. Howard asked if he wants to stop and smell the roses. Ray said he's enjoying what he's doing now. He said he's with a security company and he's enjoying that. Ray said the company is involved in anti-money laundering and business investigations. Robin asked who hires them. Ray said they also have a cyber investigation thing there too.
Howard said when that Sony hack happened he said he felt it was a terrorist attack. Howard said all of the newspapers were playing it all up. Howard said that we didn't band together to stop it. Howard said it would have been the right thing to do that. Ray said that they should have but that didn't happen. He said that was allowing stolen material to go forward.
Howard asked Ray about his two law degrees and asked if he looks at people and thinks they're mostly dummies out here. Ray laughed and said he's never had that reaction. Howard asked why he doesn't become the mayor. He said he should. He said he'd be a great mayor. Howard said Ray would rather work privately. Howard said he must be making big bucks. Ray said he is making more than he was as commissioner. Howard said he must be a millionaire. Ray laughed. Howard said he had to have made money after the government jobs. Ray said that's the only way to do it. He said that you have to wait until you're out of that government job to make the big money.
Howard asked Ray what we should do to prepare for attacks. Ray said you should have a To-Go bag ready. Howard asked what should be in that bag. Ray said money, water, dry rations... Howard added condoms. Howard asked if Ray has one. Ray said his wife did. Howard said it's all basics. Howard said that if they get to that stage then it's too late. Howard said Ray is telling him that we should have a to-go bag. Ray said it's a good idea. He said there are some issues in New York City. He said they have had 16 plots that were stopped. He said the ''If you see something, say something'' thing is a big deal. He said it's something you should do.
Howard asked Ray about the Guardian Angels and what he thinks about gun control. Ray said that he's for reasonable gun control. He said that the second amendment is there and guns will always be around.
Howard asked if he's ever had threats against him. Ray said there was a guy who put a hit out on him to get his head cut off. Howard said that he talks about the terrorist plots that he took down in his book. Howard asked how hard it is to guard a bridge like the Brooklyn bridge. Ray said they heard chatter about the Brooklyn Bridge and they had a guy talking about how they were scouting it out. Ray said that they wanted to have a guy go into a room and cut the cables in this room in the bridge and the guy talked about how the weather was too hot. He said this Sheik gave up the information in 2003.
Robin asked if Ray knows if it's ISIS or ISIL. Ray said he calls it ISIS. He said he thinks that they're just letting people now that it's in more than one place. Howard said that he'd just call it ISIS. Ray said it is confusing.
Howard asked if Ray watched 21 Jump Street where they sent cops in as students. Ray said he never did that. He said sometimes they use auxiliary police officers to do that. He said that's very limited though.
Howard said Ray was into catching priests and people like that too. Ray said that there are more out there than you'd think. He said there are chicken hawks who are managers of young people who are making them available. Howard said they set up the police and it's the only real protection we have from us and them. He said people think that it's an easy job. He said there are some who go too far but at the end of the day are cops afraid to do real police work because they're afraid of being thrown off the force. Ray said he has never seen an officer shy away from danger. He said there are things that are discretionary. He said that sometimes a cop does murder someone. He said that for the most part the police out there are good people.
Howard asked Ray about the kid who got into ISIS and he was going to attack the subway. Ray said that was scary. He said the kid's name was Venus. Howard asked that he and Ray should do a buddy movie where they go back to high school.
Howard asked Ray if he's upset about Quentin Tarantino and what he said about cops. Ray said you hear that all the time as a cop. He said that you don't do it 4 days after an officer is shot and killed. He said it was bad timing.
Howard said Ray writes about a synagogue plot that was foiled. He said that was supposed to be bombed. Ray said these people thought they had purchased a surface to air missile that they were going to shoot down and aircraft with. He said this was a sting though so it wasn't real. He said that is some scary stuff. Ray said that sometimes people like that claim entrapment but here is no entrapment for something like that.
Howard asked why in the TV shows he watches are the FBI and cops not willing to work together. Ray said he thinks there used to be more tension but things have gotten better. Ray said that they have 54,000 cops in the city and they have people from 105 ethnicities as cops. He said it's the most diverse in the world. He said that they do need the help of the FBI to do their jobs. He said that there has been a history of not sharing information but they do need to share it.
Robin said Ray said he would like to go back to the old ways of collecting intelligence. Ray said that's true. Howard said he knows he's going to run for mayor. Howard said he should do it. Howard said the city demands it. Howard said he should say that he's going to run. Ray said he thinks it's too early to say. He said that you never say never though. Howard said imagine the power ''we'd have''. Howard said he'd come visit him if he won.
Howard said that Ray has written a TV show about his life that ABC is working on. Ray said it's in the pilot stage right now. Howard asked Ray if he will do book signings. Ray said he is doing some.
Ray said that his family are big fans of Howard and Robin. Howard said he knows his wife and his son. Howard said his son was in the Marines. Ray said he's proud of his son. Howard asked if he was okay with him joining. Ray said he was. He said he made his own decision to do that. Howard asked if he has ever flown with him. Ray said he has and he did that when his son was just 19. He said his room was still messed up but he was flying him around. Howard said that's what it was like for him when his kids started driving.
Howard asked if Ray was a tough father. Ray said he wouldn't say that. He said he never struck him or anything. He said he was there for his son. Howard asked if he can talk to his son about killing people. Ray said no to that.
Howard gave Ray another plug for his book ''Vigilance: My Life Serving America and Protecting Its Empire City''. Howard said he says the odds of becoming a police commissioner are tough. He asked if here are any pictures of him under cover in the gay bar in the book. Ray laughed. Howard said this guy did it all. He said he thinks he will run for mayor. Ray laughed again. Howard said that he will run as a republican. Howard said that's what he thinks will happen. Ray said Howard knows a lot more than he does.
Howard asked Ray if he'll stop and frisk Robin on her way out of there. Robin said he doesn't have to do that. Howard asked Ray about the house Sal described earlier with the sheets hanging in the windows. Ray asked why the landlord isn't kicking them out.
Howard asked Ray if he's shocked when he sees how some people live when he goes into people's apartments. Ray said he went into an apartment once and they had about 200 candles lit. He said that's a huge fire potential. Howard said in the old days cops could go in and smash people in the head for having something like that going on. Howard said you can't do that these days because people are so politically correct. Robin said smacking someone like that around will not help. Howard said he thinks it will. Ray said no day is ever the same when you're a cop. He said that's what's great about that job.
Howard said he should have been a cop. He said a tall Big Bird looking guy. Howard said he could have put on chaps and gone into that gay bar. Howard said he doesn't think he could have been a cop. Howard said one can only imagine what he'd be like. Howard said he has a hair trigger so he'd shoot everyone. Robin said he'd shoot someone over a noise complaint. Howard said she's right. Howard said that would be the way he does things. He said that there is right and wrong and he'd shoot people over that.
Ray told Howard about a time he had a guy who had stabbed a woman with a piece of umbrella. He said that he got to the scene and the guy was going through her purse. Howard said he should have shot the guy. Ray said he grabbed him and threw him down. He said that guy had 3 prior felony convictions. He said he went on trial after that. He said he thinks he got a lot of time but he doesn't remember how much. Ray said this was after layoffs and he had to wait for an ambulance for about 20 minutes. Howard said he'd just shoot the guy in the leg or something. Howard asked Ray how he knew how to take the guy down. Ray said some of that stuff is taught in police academy. He said when the adrenaline is flowing you don't fall back on that stuff. Howard said you have to be a little nuts yourself to take on a guy like that. Ray said the problem with people taking video of the cops today is that you don't see what started the whole thing.
Howard asked Ray if he has nightmares after seeing some of this stuff. Ray said it's all in the job. Howard said he is one rugged dude. Howard asked if he looks at other men and thinks they are nothing. Howard said he's such a pussy he wonders how he could get brave. Howard said he and Robin saw a guy stealing a bike one time and Robin told him he had to do something. Howard said there's no way he's going to do something. Ray said maybe he needs some testosterone shots.
Howard asked Ray if he looks at fashion magazines. Ray said he does. Robin asked if he ever watches The Bachelor. Ray said no. He watches football. Howard said he watches Dancing with the Stars. Ray said he's never watched that. Howard said he's so masculine. He said he hopes he's bad in bed. He said there has to be something he's not good at. Howard asked if he reads the fashion magazines to see what he should be wearing. Ray said he likes to keep up on the latest fashions.
Howard asked if Ray sits down when he pees. Ray said that's more information than he wants to give out. Howard said he wants to thank Ray for what he does and has done. Howard said he thanks him for protecting the city. Howard said that other police commissioners should read the book. Ray said the more the merrier. Howard asked if he left anything out of the book. Ray said there are some things he had to leave out. Howard gave him another plug and wrapped up with Ray. Ray thanked him for having him and told everyone to be vigilant. Howard said he cant be but everyone else should be. Robin said Howard is never outside other than when he goes to the gym. Howard thanked him again and went to break a short time later. As they were going to break they played Billy Corgan's ''Tonight, Tonight'' performance from the Howard Stern show studio.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was listening to NPR and they found that Ben Carson doesn't know the difference between the deficit and the debt ceiling. Howard said that guy can't answer a question directly. Howard said he saw him on FOX News and he wasn't answering a question they asked him over and over. Howard said he's not sure why he's polling so high. The caller said he sounds like he has no idea what's going on. Howard said the guy continues his conversation even if he doesn't answer the question he's asked. Howard said it's not even a close answer. Howard said it's kind of like talking to Benjy. Robin said she saw something disturbing. She said he has a big painting with himself with Jesus. Howard thanked the caller and moved on.
Howard said Whoopi Goldberg was a great guest last week. He said he was asked by The View to come on the show for Whoopi's birthday and he wasn't able to go. Howard said they asked him to come on Friday. Howard said they asked him to cut a video for her birthday so he thought about it. Howard said she came to his birthday show. Howard said he cut the video and put some thought into it. Howard said he made sure he put a video together and got it over there. Howard said JD took the feed from The View and they chopped up his message to her. He said they took out all of the humor. Howard said The View woke him up to this. He said as of today, with peace and love, he will no longer be cutting any type of tape where people can edit him. He said he says this with peace and love. Howard said he won't be doing this for anyone else because of this.
Howard said he has both the message they cut up on The View and the original. Howard played the clip they aired on The View. In that Howard was talking about how proud of Whoopi he is. Howard said what he sent over was this. He played the clip where he was talking about how he's about 7 blocks from her studio and he wasn't able to make it. He wished her a happy 60th and he loves her on The Talk with Julie and Sharon. He corrected himself and said it's The View. Howard talked about the great things she's done and how she defended Michael Vick, Roman Polanski and Bill Cosby. He said he's sure that she'll be defending Jared from Subway today.
Howard said the love came from after 50 things. Howard said he did say something nice about her at the end. Howard played the rest of the clip and that's what they cut down for the air. Howard said that they could have taken a joke. JD said they played longer messages from other people. Howard said his line about the little lesbian girl was a great one. He said he thought it would bring the house down. Howard said he won't be doing this for anyone else because of that. Howard said it reminds him of how they cut up audio books.
Howard asked how Robin's lunch with Jackie Martling was. Robin said she had already apologized to him. She said the lunch was fine. Howard asked why she apologized. Robin said there was a period of time that she refused to talk to him and it drove him crazy. Howard said Robin took some classes or something and she has been apologizing to people. Then he heard she was apologizing to Jackie. Howard said he pulled her to the side and told her to think that one through. Robin said she just wants to be up front about what she was up to.
Gary asked if it was fun or uncomfortable. Robin said it was fine. Gary said that's an odd word. Robin said it was fine. She said that it wasn't uncomfortable. Robin said Jackie talked about his life a little bit. Howard played a bit they created about Robin and her apology tour.
Howard said he has a Hillary Clinton diner appearance part 2. He said this is a prank call they made to a diner where they asked them to fake a choking to get her some publicity. Howard played the second one where fake Hillary calls a diner asking how many black people they have there. The woman on the phone said they have like 10-20 a day. Hillary then asked for a list of different types of people that she'd like there when she comes there for a visit. She got crazy asking for dwarfs, midgets and mongoloids.
Howard said that was a nice woman at that diner. Howard said he was shocked by how nice that woman was. Howard said he liked the bit where Hillary was on and said ''Chello'' like Jeff the Drunk. Robin said she liked the one where she was stuck in the crawl space while she was spying on someone.
Howard said they had to read to Big Foot and have him repeat after them. Howard played another behind the scenes clip of Big Foot letting out belches during a recording session.
Howard said Big Foot has problems repeating some things. He said he can't say ''Live on you.'' Howard said he says ''Live on me'' even when they ask him to say ''live on you.''
Howard read some email about Robin's singing. Howard played more of Robin singing. Howard asked what's going on with her because she's singing a lot these days. Robin said she's just letting them record her now. Howard played a few clips of her singing songs on the top 5. Howard said he has to take his headphones off. He said she really belts those songs out. He laughed as he listened to one.
Howard said that someone wrote to him about Tan Mom not being a Wack Packer. Howard said he thinks this is Natalie Maines. He said she texted him about that. Howard said you can't argue with him about it because he created it. He said that Tan Mom is a Wack Packer. Howard said that this person says that she has the voice and the behavior but she doesn't elicit sympathy or compassion. Howard read through the long email and said that Tan Mom is a Wack Packer. He said that she's wacky and that's all it takes. Howard said that there have been plenty of other Wack Packers who haven't elicited sympathy. Howard said Mark McGrath and Horatio Sanz also think she's not a Wack Packer. Howard had some Wrap Up Show clips of the two of them talking about her.
Howard said he's going to let Mick the Nerd ask JJ Abrams some Star Wars questions when JJ is there. Howard said that they have to make sure Mick is ready for that.
Howard said Tan Mom is doing another one of those celebrity fight things. Howard said that she's going to be fighting a woman who used to be a man. Howard had some audio of Tan Mom talking about her upcoming fight. Tan Mom said she had some cocktails last time she had a fight. She said her gloves weren't on right that time.
Howard said Tan Mom got her ass kicked last time. Shuli was in to talk about her. He said she had some cocktails last time because she got there early. Shuli said that Mark McGrath is out of his mind not thinking she's in the Wack Pack. Shuli said Tan Mom calls him telling him to call her back 5 times. Then he calls her and she asks why he called. She doesn't remember why she told him to call. He said that's Wack Pack.
Howard said they told Tan Mom that she's fighting a woman who used to be a man. Howard had some audio of Shuli talking to her about that and she thinks that it's Caitlyn Jenner. Tan Mom called the person a ''freakazoid'' and a ''creature.''
Howard said he has another clip of Tan Mom drinking at her last fight. Howard said Vodka is like her Gatorade. Howard said that she was cool with fighting a man. Howard played a clip of Tan Mom rambling. Shuli said he asked her about what she's thankful for and she left out her husband. He asked her about that and she just said ''That's right.'' Howard said Shuli does a great impression of Tan Mom.
Howard said Sour Shoes called into the Dan Patrick show. Howard said he did a Gary and an Angry Alice. Howard played the clip of Sour Shoes doing his thing on Dan's show. He was singing and doing all of these impressions of Gary and Angry Alice. Howard said his audience must have been wondering what the fuck that was. Sour did an impression of Nicole Bass and Jackie the Joke Man too. Dan asked how Artie is doing. Sour went into his Artie impression. Dan Patrick said he's sorry to Gary Dell'Abate because of the Mets. Sour did more of his impression and then went into his Mike Francesa impression. Dan let Sour do his Lionel Richie impression to end the call.
Howard had a clip of Tan Mom hosting Saturday Night Live. Howard played the bit they created using clips of Tan Mom as if she was doing a monologue on Saturday Night Live. Howard said back in the 90s they did their channel 9 show. Howard said they should have just done their format. He said they could have had Tan Mom or Beetlejuice doing a monologue. He sad they could have just done a bunch of sketches. Howard said they wouldn't have needed a format. Shuli said that show blew away Saturday Night Live. He said he stopped watching Saturday Night Live because of that show. Howard said it was crazy difficult to do that show. Howard said they were yelled at by management all the time. Howard said that they were losers working at WWOR and they were yelling at him. Howard said they were at a shit channel yelling at him. He said it was just ridiculous. Howard said they could have had Weekend Update with conjoined twins.
Howard said they went from zero ratings to the number one show in New York and then back to zero ratings after the show was over. Howard said he was so proud of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they don't set up a YouTube channel for sketch comedy. Howard said he's busy doing this. He said he has a ton of meetings after the show today. He said he doesn't have the time for that stuff.
The caller asked if we should have more cops around. Howard said yes. He said there are so many dishonest people out there. Howard said we have to pay them more, get more cops and we have to be better people. Howard said you have to get leaders who are into leadership and aren't lazy. Howard said everyone throws their hands up in the air.
Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. The caller asked if he jerks off when Beth is in the house. Howard said he has. He said that she might not be into having sex and he'll just jerk off so he's not walking around all angry. He said he's doing her a favor. He said that she doesn't have to accommodate the likes of him. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard said a lot of people wrote in about JD not washing his sheets. Howard read through some of those. Howard said someone write in about how Jon Leiberman should do an embedded with JD. Some people think he still hasn't washed the sheets. JD said he has had them washed. He said he dropped them off. Howard said JD was too ashamed. JD said his girlfriend issued some concerns about it so he had them done quickly.
Howard said they had an avalanche of JD songs. Howard said they were all very good but he had a favorite. Howard played a couple and said that they were his favorites. One of them was to the tune of a Christmas song. Howard said Daniel Mendelson went into a studio to record that one.
Howard asked JD what he's more upset about, the sheets or the girl with the peanut butter. JD said it's all bad. He said he wishes he'd just shut up sometimes. Howard asked if he would rather not talk about the peanut butter or the sheets. JD said that's one he feels horrified about. He said that everyone won't shut up about the sheets. Robin said she's glad that he did talk about that because he finally got his sheets washed. Howard played another song parody about JD's unwashed sheets.
Howard said he knows shit about JD. He said he knows one of his sexual things. Howard said when he was into web cam girls did he ever have girls make out with photos of porn stars. JD said he doesn't know. Howard took that as a yes. Howard said he's a kinky mother fucker. JD told him to leave him alone. Howard said he loves him. JD said he's not confirming or denying anything. Howard said it could be true then. JD wasn't saying. Howard said it could be true. JD said it could. Howard said JD is a creative mother fucker. He said that he has creativity to tell a web cam girl to make out with a porn star.
Howard asked JD if he would jerk off when the chick was making out with the picture. JD said he's sure he did. Howard wanted to know more but JD said go back to the bed sheets. Howard played another song parody about his dirty sheets.
Howard asked JD why he even admitted that. Gary said he doesn't think JD realized it was as bad as they're making it out to be. JD said that's right. He said his girlfriend was laughing about the whole thing but she wanted them washed. Howard asked if they were gritty and rough after a year. JD said they weren't. He said he didn't think there was an issue.
Robin was going to ask a question but JD said he's not answering. That led to Howard playing another song parody about him not cleaning his sheets. Howard said he's trying to concentrate on one JD thing at a time but he can't stop thinking about the web cam girl thing. JD said that he doesn't want to get into this stuff. JD said that one girl might do something and that leads to another girl doing it. Howard asked if the girls make out with the pictures of the vaginas of the porn stars. JD said it's something like that. He wasn't confirming or denying that. Howard played another song parody about him.
Howard said JD is awesome. He said he never thought of that stuff. Howard asked if his girlfriend has to be kinky... JD said he's not getting into anything about her. Howard said that JD is pretty sexual. He said that for any woman to date him she must have to be wild. JD said he's not talking about that. JD said when you're into someone nothing crazy has to happen. Robin said it might take a couple of years before he asks for that crazy stuff. Howard asked what his schedule is for washing his sheets now. JD said it'll be every 2 weeks from not on because everyone is freaking out about it. Howard played another song parody about JD. Then he immediately followed it up with another one. Howard said he saw the video for that one and the sheets were dancing for JD.
Howard asked if JD is shocked by how much attention he's getting for this. JD said yes. Howard played another song parody. JD said hearing everyone in the office laughing is great too.
Robin asked when JD's sheets were ready for him. JD said he took them in the morning on Thursday and they were ready that night. JD said he's going to get more sheets so he has a backup. Robin asked why he doesn't change them every week now that he'll have that. Howard said he won't even do them every two weeks. He said you know he wont. Howard played another song parody about his dirty sheets. That was by Psych. Howard played another quick one after that. Then one more immediately after that.
Howard said that he could go on and on with those songs. Robin asked what else they don't know about JD. Howard said he knows some stuff. He said he's known about the photograph thing for a while now. Howard said he thinks JD is still doing the web cam thing. JD said even if he said he wasn't he wouldn't believe him. Howard asked JD if he swears to god he's not web camming. JD said ''sure.'' Howard played another song parody about his dirty sheets. Howard said that was by Eli Braden. Howard said he could have a dead body under that bed and no one would know.
Howard said that he thought Ray Kelly was going to tell him that the weirdest thing he ever walked in on was a guy telling a web cam girl to make out with a picture of a porn star.
Robin asked if JD realizes that he's weird. Howard said they're all weird. Howard said he has clean sheets and he's never asked anyone to make out with a picture of a porn star but they're all weird. Howard asked JD if it's hot when a chick makes out with a picture. JD said he doesn't know. Howard and Fred did their JD impressions and goofed on him a little more.
Howard said that someone wrote to him saying that in Spanish ''Bobo'' means stupid. Fred said that's correct. Howard said that can't be right. Robin said Bobo named himself.
Howard said that some people wrote in about the bowling alley call where the girl was stuck in the alley. Howard said he has to take a short break before getting to the news. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard said it's time for news. They played Robin into it with a song parody by Little Mikey. Robin started her news with a story about Saturday Night Live doing a tribute to the French on Saturday. Howard said that girl who did that is so hot. Robin said that was Cecily Strong. Robin said she did that at the start of Saturday Night Live. Howard said no girls ever speak anther language to him. He said he can't even speak dirty to Beth. Howard said he didn't know Robin could speak and sing in French. He played her singing the French national anthem again. Howard said Robin is so educated and he's so proud of her.
Howard asked if Robin has ever talked dirty to a guy. Robin said she has and she feels stupid doing it. Howard said he likes that. He said if Robin did it to him he wouldn't marry her. Robin had Howard play the Cecily Strong clip from Saturday Night Live.
Robin had some audio of Madonna breaking down on stage at a show she was doing while talking about the Paris attacks. Robin said that politicians started weighing in too. Robin had some clips from people like Mitt Romney. Howard said Mitt called the show and talked about that when he was on recently. Howard asked if they have any of those clips. Gary said give him one second and he'll have them. Howard played them a short time later. He had some fake Mitt Romney clips and they didn't make sense. Howard told the guys good work on that.
Robin said that Donald Trump is the front runner again after last week's debate. Robin said they say that everyone else is lagging behind him at this point. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about this Paris attack and what we have to do. Robin had some audio of Ben Carson talking about it too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard is sexually excited by Cat Woman on Gotham. Howard said she's going to be good looking and you can tell even though she's 15. Howard said Beth met her and said she's a really nice kid. Howard said that he's going to be sexually attracted to her at 18, not at 15. The caller said she's cute as hell. Howard said that Commissioner Kelly just called and said that they want him to stay on the line for 3 more minutes so they can trace his call. Howard said that girl is actually 16 now. Howard let him go a short time later. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he was watching the country music awards because he likes to look at Carrie Underwood. Howard said she's skinny and looking good. Howard said that he likes to look at her outfits. Howard said that's what he did last night. Then he fell asleep. Howard said she can actually sing. Howard said she was on American Idol. Robin said there are a few people who were on that show who can actually sing. Howard said Carrie was wearing an outfit and she had what looked like boots but it was leggings with high heels. Howard said she does that cool move where someone goes to the foot pedals and starts fucking with them. He said he'd do that if he was in a band. Howard said Carrie does this move where they fuck with the ear piece and they get angry and pull it out. Howard said that's they must know it's annoying after 15 seconds. Howard said he used to wear an ear piece on America's Got Talent and one time the producer started talking while he was talking so he had to pull it out. Gary said they had that happen when 5 Seconds of Summer was there. He said maybe he didn't like the mix he was getting in there. Gary said that it says that they're so good they can overcome it. Howard said he gets consumed with that shit when he goes to a concert. Howard said years ago he would have put the cigarette in the neck of the guitar too. Robin said Keith Richards does that. Gary said he still smokes and he doesn't give a shit. Howard said he might as well keep smoking at this point.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks and told him to make it quick. King said he was thinking more about Ronnie. He said his girlfriend is 32. He asked if Ronnie thinks about dying and leaving a young woman or if she thinks about that. Howard said they must think about that. Howard said that when she's 52 he's going to be like 90. Ronnie came in and said they have had this conversation off the air. Ronnie said he is more concerned about it than she is. King and Ronnie went off on each other for a few seconds. Ronnie said King is the one who lies about everything. Howard asked if Ronnie has gone casket shopping. Ronnie said he hasn't. He does have a grave site though. King asked if Ronnie falls asleep on the couch does she put a mirror up to his nose. King laughed. They went back and forth for a few more minutes.
Howard said that he was watching a girl on the internet and she's very attractive and talking about giving blow jobs. Howard said she's black and talking about giving blow jobs and it's crazy. Howard played the clip of this woman talking about waking the guy up with their dick in your mouth. She was using the N-word a lot in the clip. King said that's too aggressive. Howard asked if she's right in some sense about how swallowing the guy's nut makes the guy want to give you a ring. Robin said it does sound kind of manipulative.
Howard asked JD where he found that. JD said it was on WorldStarHipHop.com. King asked Howard if he doesn't like his women too smart. Howard asked what he means by that. Ronnie said he just called Howard's wife stupid. King said he did not. Howard asked Robin if she has ever woken a guy up by sucking a guy. Robin said she has not. Howard said Jessica Hahn used to talk about doing stuff like that.
King asked if Howard likes his women to be not so smart. Howard said he likes intelligent women that can engage him in a conversation. Ronnie said that King's wife is stupid because she's with him. Howard said he really has to go. He said he has a schedule. King said one more question. He asked if Stephanie breaks up with Ronnie will she get another man his age. Ronnie said no but then changed it to maybe. Howard hung up on King after that.
Robin read a story about the debate on Saturday night and had some clips of Hillary Clinton talking about the Paris attacks. She had some other clips of people like President Obama talking about the attacks as well.
Robin read a story about Holly Holm beating Ronda Rousey over the weekend. Robin said Ronda was supposed to be unbeatable. Robin said Holm beat her with a brutal head kick at the fight in Melbourne, Australia. Howard said she probably didn't prepare enough. Howard said the winner gets to fight Tan Mom now. Robin had some audio of Holly Holm talking about how she'd like to have a rematch with Ronda. Robin said Rousey was briefly knocked out and she has posted on Instagram that she's doing well. Howard said she has to be bummed about that. Howard said he wasn't able to find the fight online anywhere.
Robin read a story about 1,500 Mormons leaving the church over some new pronouncements. Robin had some details about that.
Robin read about how President Obama is going to the G20 summit and it's believed they will be discussing how to battle ISIS.
Robin read a story about Oscar Pistorious being sighted going in to report for community service. Robin said he was released from prison and he's serving time at home with some kind of tracking device. She said it can't be an ankle bracelet since he doesn't have ankles.
Robin read about Lamar Odom suffering brain injury and he's unable to recognize some family and friends. She also said that he isn't able to speak more than a couple of words at a time. Fred used clips of Crackhead Bob to talk to Howard as Lamar. Howard said he did that with herbal Viagra. Fred had Crackhead Bob rambling about various things in the conversation. Howard asked questions and Fred would play Bob saying ''One more time with that?''
Robin read a story about James Bond's Spectre being number one at the box office this week. She wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon said that he wants to start with Sal talking about France. Jon said that Sal was very fired up over the whole thing. He said he and Sal don't drive together as much as they used to. He said he has seen that sleeper cell he was talking about. Jon said everyone has that house on their block that isn't kept up very well. That doesn't mean they are terrorists though. Jon said Sal is convinced that's the case thoguh. He said that Sal will tell someone and they will check it out and find out that it's not the case. Jon said it's great that Sal saw something so he's going to say something. Jon said that he doesn't want to live his life in a state of fear but New York City is like a war zone and you can't spend your life looking over your shoulder in fear. He said you do have to stay on top of things and pay attention though. Jon said Ray Kelly had a good attitude about all of this stuff. Jon said he hopes people continue to say something if they see something. Jon said that the Paris thing freaked out a lot of people. Jon said that he didn't put up a French flag behind him to show his support for Paris like Sal did though.
Gary said that they are saying that this was a trial for ISIS to bring it to the U.S. Gary said he would think that something like that would happen at FOX News and they're right across the street. Gary said that people are wondering why other attacks aren't getting as much attention as this. Gary said it was so politicized right away. Gary said he has never been to Kenya so he doesn't have a connection to that place. Gary said he hates when people tell you what to think.
Gary said he is with Jon on supporting something but he doesn't like people who just put up a flag and walk away thinking they did something. Jon said that Sal also staked out that sleeper cell in his town. Gary said he liked when Howard was describing the sleeper cell house in Sal's neighborhood and Ray Kelly was laughing. Gary said that he'd like a second opinion from someone else in that neighborhood. Jon said he's seen it and it's just a rundown house.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that people just discount stuff these days. He said that they're saying get a second opinion but it could be something. Gary said what Sal said doesn't really make it a sleeper cell. Gary said he has people who don't cut their lawn in his neighborhood. He said they also have sheets up but that doesn't mean anything. Gary said Sal needs more to go on. He said he's still not sure wheat Sal saw. They went to break after that.
Jon had Greg Kelly on the phone and Greg is Ray's son. Greg said he's the guy who introduced him to Howard back in 1982 or 83. He said they were fans back when he was on WNBC. Greg said that there was something that happened one day (Gary said it was the 1993 World Trade Center Bombing) and they mentioned explosives on the air. The anchors freaked out and Jim Jensen lost his mind over the prank call. Greg said that his dad heard that and he knew it was a Howard Stern Fan who made the call and his dad broke out into a big, child like smile. Gary said Greg is also a big deal in his own right. He hosts Good Day New York there.
Gary said Ray is funny and charming and that doesn't come across when he's talking about people dying or something like that. He said it came across this morning. Jon said that his dad has to deal with a lot of unfunny stuff. Greg said that he's a great guy. He said he's very special and you don't get to see a lot of that on TV. He said the Stern Show is a perfect format for him. Greg said that DeBlasio has 2 more years to go and he's not sure if his dad will run for Mayor.
Gary asked if Greg's dad was always telling them not to look at things or was he pretty free. Greg said he used to walk to school in first grade. He said he wasn't too stern. He said his mother was the disciplinarian. He said his dad would just speak to you and speak in a strong way. He said that's all you have to do really. Greg said that his dad is funny and so is his mom. He said he's very lucky.
Jon asked Greg about when Howard started talking Viet Nam with his dad and they didn't get into the killing and stuff what goes on. Greg said that he has spoken to his dad about that but there are things that he won't ask about. He said he thinks that it's an insensitive thing to ask if you ask if they killed anyone. Gary said Howard did that. Greg said Howard can get away with it. He said it's something he never asked him point blank. He said that he's guessing that he has had to do that. He said that he has been close to rifle fire and close enough to feel the breeze from the bullets.
Gary asked if Greg has a To-Go bag like his dad talked about today. Greg said he had one in the truck of his car. He said he doesn't go shopping so often so he'd take the food out of his To-Go bag and eat that. He said he wants to have one by the end of the year. He said you want to have cash too and small denominations. Greg said you don't want people breaking $100 bills so bring small bills.
Jon said they talked about the 16 terror plots that were thwarted while Ray was in his second tenure there in the city. Jon said that he sort of wants to know but doesn't want to know. Jon asked if Greg talks about that stuff with his dad. Greg said there is some classified stuff that he won't talk about. He said that he couldn't talk about it. Greg said he felt privy to certain things but nothing classified. He said his dad wore it all well. He said he was made for the job. Greg said his dad thrived in that job. He said he was made for that role.
Gary said Ray is 70 years old or so. He can still do 10 pull ups. Gary asked if anyone on the staff can even do 5. Jon said maybe Fred.
Jon said Howard officially declared Tan Mom to be a Wack Packer today. He asked if Greg agrees with that. Greg said he hasn't heard about her lately. Gary said she's been on a lot lately. Greg said he's voting her in if they're fans of her's. They let Greg go a short time later and then went to break.
Jon said Gary mentioned a trip that he took to Paris with Sal Gary said they did take a trip to Amsterdam and they went to France on the Bullet Train so Sal thought they were next to one another. Gary said they went to Notre Dame and Sal thought it was named after the college. Gary said they were there in July and Sal would find women and ask to take a picture with him. Gary said he asked why was doing that and it was about the women's tits.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ray Kelly is a man and it's the rest of the guys around there who are C-types. He said that they're the ones who won't say anything if they see something. He said that Sal isn't that stupid either. He said that he's talking about those people with the sheets up and they should get the hell out of that neighborhood. Gary said that he thinks they should take care of their house but the cops can't really do anything based on what Sal has seen. Gary said in Sal's mind it's a sleeper cell and that's the funny part. They spent a little more time with the caller talking about being aware in New York City.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he met Ray Kelly years ago and he was the nicest guy in the world. He said he met Gary on Saturday night at an event that he was at. He said that he has been a huge fan and he thanks them for everything they do. The guy said he didn't want to bother Gary the other night. Gary said he should have said hi.
The caller said that the reason people can't stand Bobo is because there are guys who have never called in over the 25 years they've listened. He said that it's his sense of entitlement that makes him so hard to stand. Gary said maybe they should do a Win Bobo's Money game to find out if they know more about the show than Bobo does.
Jon moved on to talk about JD and how much he went through today. Jon said that JD's biggest weakness is his honesty. He said that he's too honest. Gary said he has brought things on himself and it feels like an avalanche. Gary said it does get better. He said that JD has to know that. He said that you can only weather the storm. He said that you can't make it stop. Gary said it's like getting mugged and beat up. He said just put your hands over your face and wait for the punching to stop.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's listening to some old videos and Sal had a beef with Jon over something. He said he knows he was giving Sal rides home for a while. Jon said they don't do it as much as they used to. He said their schedules are a little bit off now. Jon said that they do take the train together sometimes. He said Sal is the most entertaining guy to drive with. He said part of it is because he's stupid but he's a funny guy too. Gary said one of the parts that makes him funny is that he can brush off when he doesn't know something as it being something he doesn't need to know it because he writes dick jokes.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:55am.
Howard started the show talking about the big picture for what's going on this morning. Howard said he's shot out of a cannon because he just had his Starbucks juice. He said he's still a Starbucks guy. Robin had a sip with him. Howard said it's surging through his body. He said he wishes it was a holiday cup. Robin said it is. It's the red cup. Howard said he knows, he just wishes it had Jesus on it.
Howard said he was going to jerk off last night when Beth went out but he thought about her coming back for something she forgot so he didn't do it. Howard said if he had he would have seen the YouPorn logo with a French flag on it. Howard said now they can feel they did their part like Sal did with his Facebook picture.
Howard said today someone is coming in to announce he has something. Howard said he had mono. Howard said Seth Rogen is coming in. Howard said he's joking. He said Charlie Sheen is going on the Today show to announce he has AIDS so they're trying to get Seth to come in and say he has something too. Robin said Charlie is HIV positive. Howard said Charlie called here last night. Howard said he wanted him to come on the show to talk about it but he's going on the Today show instead. Howard said he's pissed off about that. Howard said Charlie did call them back when they called him. Howard said this is actually Charlie calling their voicemail.
Howard played a clip of a fake Charlie Sheen talking about how he got HIV from his Tiger Blood. They had Charlie trying to say ''Winning'' and coughing.
Howard said Charlie is going on the Today show today to talk about having HIV. Howard said he's going to try to get Scott the Engineer to come in and talk about having COPD. Robin said he already has. Howard said he knows that but he wants him to talk about it.
Howard said Bree Olson is coming in today and she dated Charlie. Howard said that she is going to announce the results of her HIV test. Howard said they'll find out what she's up to. Gary said she was in Human Centipede 3 as the lead. Howard asked where she was on the conga line. JD jumped in and said he saw it. He said she had to keep blowing the sheriff in the show. Howard asked if she was part of the centipede. JD said she was not. He said that the prisoners were the centipede. Howard asked JD about the nudity and he said she's not nude. He said she shows a little ass and that's about it.
Howard said Seth Rogen is stopping by today. Howard asked Benjy if he has HIV because he lost a lot of weight. Howard didn't let him say more than ''Yeah...''
Howard said he thinks that Bree Olson is going to be pissed about Charlie Sheen because he didn't tell anyone he had HIV. Howard said he had an article to read about that. Howard said this guy is on the top of the world and this happens. Howard played another fake voicemail message from fake Charlie. Charlie was talking about how he's got a cure and sniffing something. He said he was feeling better already.
Howard read the article about Charlie and how he's supposed to announce this on the Today show. Howard said he's sure he's so out of it that they could bring him there and tell him that he's Matt Lauer and he'd believe it. Howard said Matt must be cumming in his pants over this. Howard said poor Charlie Rose never gets anything like this on his show. Howard said he saw Charlie Rose out the other night at dinner and he asked what he had to do to get him on his show. Howard said Charlie was going to interview someone with Anemia today to combat the Today show.
Howard read more about Charlie Sheen going on the Today show. Howard read about how he found out about the HIV 4 years ago. He underwent treatment and he responded so well that it was virtually undetectable. Howard said that they've done testing on his former wife Brooke Mueller and his kids were checked and they're fine. Howard said that everyone wants to talk to Bree Olson because he was with her too. Howard said Bree will be in today to talk about that.
Robin said 4 years ago isn't that long ago. Howard had to do some math to figure it out. Howard said this is 2015. Howard said that he's going to get rid of the 20 and go back to 6 for 2006 since that's how long he is supposed to have had the AIDS. Howard was trying to work his way back to that. Howard eventually came up with 9 years that he's known about it or had it at least.
Howard said Sheen doesn't know who gave him the virus. Howard said of course he doesn't. Howard said he was involved in high risk sex practices. Howard said that he smells a lawsuit from the people he was with. Howard said Bree Olson is hot. He said he sees her in a picture topless with Charlie and she's so hot. Robin said Charlie claims to have bedded 5000 women so that could break him if they sue.
Howard said they have Bree but not Charlie today. Howard said she's coming in to talk about her life with Charlie. Howard said Gary told him that one of his friends may have turned him in to the Enquirer. Gary said that's what they say. Gary also said that Bree was offered a lot of money for the first interview but she appreciates what Howard has done for her so she's going to give them the first interview.
Howard said Robin did get some negatives. One guy said it was ''hot garbage.'' He said he won't be listening to the song anymore. A woman said she thought Adele sang better than that. Howard said listen to this one. He played another one where a woman said that you can hear her pain in that one. Howard said he thought Robin would be pleased with that.
Howard played a song parody about Robin and Robin sings in that one. Howard said Robin is singing a lot and it's being incorporated into her on air persona. Howard said that someone committed suicide after hearing that.
Howard said they saw this guy was selling his DVD collection in the newspaper. Howard said they had Arnold Schwarzenegger call the guy. Howard played the audio of their prank call to the guy who was selling the DVDs. The guy said he had already sold them. The phony Arnold asked if he wanted to be in a new Expendables movie. Arnold was talking about Sylvester Stallone's dick smelling like cheese and goofing around with the guy about that. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Adele was up there yesterday at Sirius. Howard said Ronnie told him to walk fast through the hall because she was out there and there were a ton of people there. Howard said he walked fast but no one cared so he was able to slow down.
Howard said there's an old performance of Neil Young performing ''Old Man'' for the first time and it was so good. Howard said he just mentioned that because he saw it the other day.
Howard took a call from Melrose Larry Green who said that he's so mad at this ISIS. Howard told him to clear his throat. Larry said it's too early for him. He said he's really sick of this ISIS thing. He called Obama the N-word. Howard asked when he got to be so racist. Melrose said he has nothing against them. He kept using the N-word so Howard asked if he's out of his mind. Robin said she's so glad Howard picked up on Melrose. Melrose told Howard to have Bob Dylan on the show. Howard hung up on him and asked when he got to be so crazy.
Howard said even if you use the N-word in describing the enemy it seems odd. Howard said that Melrose might be crazy enough to go to Syria and hold up a sign.
Howard said that they were talking about JD's sheets and he has a woman named Jolie who is a cleaning expert who commented on his dirty sheets. Howard played a clip of her talking about how he's sleeping in fecal matter, urine and all manner of bacteria with those dirty sheets. She said that it can lead to more bacteria and if you have any open wounds it can get in there and infect you. Howard asked JD if he hears this. JD said there is no feces in there. Howard said if you fart in bed it's blown out by your fart. JD said the sheets are clean now so leave him alone.
Howard said that they went out on the street and asked people about the dirty sheets thing. Howard played some of the comments they got from women about that. They all found it disgusting. Howard said he's not sure JD even got the concept. JD said they didn't seem that bad to him.
Howard said he has JD's Sheets on the phone. Howard picked up on him and he talked about the big announcement he has about his health that's not so good. Howard asked what it was like when he finally got washed. The Sheets said that it wasn't good. He said it was far too long and he would have rather have been set on fire. JD went into the room where JD's Sheets were calling from and started going off on him. JD's Sheets continued to talk about how disgusting they were.
Howard said he had an apartment that he sub leased for a summer and the guy was sleeping on his bed with newspapers on top of it. Howard said he told the guy he should leave when he saw him sleeping naked on the newspapers. Howard let JD's Sheets go and asked if JD had anything to say to them. JD said he's busy. Howard played a song parody about JD's Sheets by Little Mikey.
Howard said they did the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody and said that people are complaining that they're singing it at work. Howard said he has done that at the gym. Howard played their original version and the Daniel Mendelson version and an A Cappella version. Howard said they have a Mariachi style version now. He played that one too. Howard played Gary playing trumpet too. He said that was Gary trying to perform that song. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said Seth Rogen is there to promote another new movie. Howard said last time they spoke he was in Michael Strahan's dressing room. Howard said he's skinny again. Seth said he just finished shooting a movie and he tends to lose weight when he does that. He said just standing a lot makes him lose weight. Howard asked if he just sits around a lot and plays video games. Seth said he works but it's a lot of sitting work. He said he sits and smokes and works. He said his writing partner doesn't like to sit. He likes to stand so much that he got varicose veins in his legs an had to have an operation to fix them.
Howard said you have to walk and move around. He said that's what his doctor tells him. Howard said he was hoping he was coming in with a big announcement today. Seth said he feels great actually. He said it's disappointing but he feels great.
Howard said last time they spoke to Seth he was in Michael Strahan's dressing room when he was at that show promoting the Steve Jobs movie. Howard asked if that was his attempt to get an Oscar. Seth said it wasn't really. He said he did a serious role and it felt weird. He said he thought he'd give it a try. He said he was afraid that his friends were going to make fun of him about it. He said if he wasn't himself he'd be making fun of him. He said he was worried. He said he felt pretty good about it though. He said Michael Fassbender was very nice about the whole thing.
Howard said he was reading that he was ahead of Jonah Hill on a Forbes top acting list. Howard said he's actually number 26 on the top paid actors list. He said he beat Jonah Hill by a million. Seth said he's not sure how accurate that is but he'll take it.
Howard said last time Seth was on he was at Kelly and Michael and he had to call from a land line and the only room with a phone that was empty was that dressing room. He said that it was either Hugh Jackman's dressing room or Michael's. He said it was empty other than two women who work for him. He said that they quickly wanted him the fuck out of there. He said someone came in with a sign saying he had to get out of there and he waved them off. He said then they left and came back with a more firmly written sign that was telling him he had to get the fuck out of there. Seth said he still waived him off. He said he didn't think it was a big deal. Seth said it was super weird. He said they made it a big deal. He said it made it funnier so it was kind of cool. He said he thinks it was one of those things where the people were thinking that Michael might get mad at them for sticking him in there.
Howard said they were talking about getting Seth to go on his whole tour talking from different dressing rooms. Howard said what was touching about it was that he was still uptight about offending Michael Strahan. Howard said that he was worried about it and that was nice. Seth said he hadn't done the show yet so he had to go from that to talking to him on the air. He said he didn't want it to be so uncomfortable. Howard said that he thought it was funny that he was taking his pants off. Seth said that the vibe from Howard and the vibe in that room were so different. He said that's what made him laugh. Howard said those shows take themselves too seriously.
Seth said he was changing from one suit to another because they pretend to do shows on different days. Howard said he told Seth to put Michael on the phone and Seth just said ''No!'' Howard asked if they brought that up on the air. Seth said they did not at all. He said that's how bullshit the media is.
Howard said Seth is promoting a movie called ''The Night Before.'' Howard said he's promoting so many things that he gets confused. Howard asked if he's over the whole ''The Interview'' thing. Howard asked if he's past that or does he still worry about the North Koreans getting him. Seth said he had a bodyguard for a few weeks. He said that Sony provided them. He said that everything got canceled and they got him the bodyguard out in L.A. He said one day the guy was just gone. He said that it was like they didn't tell him he was leaving or anything. He said Sony just decided they were out of danger.
Seth said that he didn't think he needed a bodyguard at first. Then when he was gone he was like ''Where's my bodyguard?'' Howard asked if the guy was black or white. Seth said they alternated between a few. He said the guy would hang out in his car and stuff. He said a lot of them were veterans and stuff. He said that it was really interesting. Howard asked if any of them were Korean. Seth said they weren't. Howard said you have to think about that because they could have infiltrated and gotten to him. Seth said he was never really worried. He said that you make these movies and the thing about it not coming out was really weird. He said they went through 80 percent of the promotion and then nothing happened so it was so fucking weird.
Howard said he gets that. He said he made a movie and he knows how much work went into it. He said it was 4 years in total. Howard said he thought about how it was going to go and how it was going to be seen. Howard said he would have had a kiniption if it didn't come out. Seth said the movie was playing very well for the audiences and they worked on it until the end. He said the movie was tracking very well and it should have done well if it had come out in theaters. He said making a movie like that and knowing it was going to do well and then it doesn't come out was a bummer.
Howard said people were saying that Seth wasn't going to be around a year after his first movie but he's still around. Howard said he wants his day in court after something like that. Seth said that it's happening now because the movie has proliferated. He said that there were people who thought they would hate it and they tell him they liked it.
Howard said Seth has a new movie called ''The Night Before'' and that's coming out this week. Howard said he saw that Seth went on Ellen and apologized to Justin Bieber. Seth said he was hard on Justin Bieber. He said that he said a lot of fucked up shit about that guy and he was incredibly cool about it. He said he never attacked him back. He said he could have sicked his crazy mother fucker fans on him.
Howard said Seth at one time tweeted that Justin Bieber was a piece of shit. Howard said he treated him like a dick. Seth said he didn't like the vibe he got from him when he met him. He said that maybe he used some harsh words. He said that it was a joke though. Howard said sometimes you're back stage and you get attitude from a little shit. Howard said Seth came on his show and talked about him being a piece of shit. Seth said he doubled down. Howard said then Seth goes on Ellen and Justin is back stage on that show. Seth said he found that out when his mom texted him and said it was Justin Bieber week on Ellen. Seth said he thought that it was going to be pre-taped shit but it wasn't. Howard asked if it was time to re-hire the bodyguard. Seth laughed and said it was. Howard said that kid might be able to kick his ass. Seth said he probably has 80 pounds on him though. Howard said that he has time for karate lessons though. Howard said he could probably take him out. Seth said probably. He said that was somewhere in his head.
Howard said Seth goes on Ellen and Justin is going to be there. Howard said he must have been nervous. Seth said he wasn't really nervous. He said that he didn't even think they'd see each other until someone said he wanted to come say hello to him. Howard asked if he saw Justin's dick pics online. Seth said that it's an okay size. Howard said he never saw them. Seth said if you took his dick and put it on Justin's body Justin might be bigger. Seth said that he has a huge body so on his body his dick doesn't look huge. He said if it's on a tiny person it might look bigger. Howard asked if Bieber or Michael Strahan's dick is bigger. Seth said he thinks Michael Strahan might be bigger. He said maybe that's why they wanted him out of his dressing room so bad.
Howard asked Seth if he was high back stage at Ellen. Seth said he was. Howard asked if he was smoking kush. Seth said he was smoking a nice clear sativa. Seth said Justin's manager came to him and said he wanted to come in and say hi. Howard said then he comes in and what is he wearing. Seth said he was wearing what he wore on the show. Seth said that he never thinks that he has to be face to face with people when he talks about them. He said they joke about people in their movies and they don't even think about it. He said that people don't differentiate that. He said famous people will come up to him and tell him they're upset. He said that he had a joke about how he looks like Jon Favreau and Jon came to him and told him it hurts when he does that.
Howard said Bieber comes in and then what happens. Seth said it was just one of those times when he just started talking and he's not even sure what came out. Seth said he told him his roast was funny. He said that he was saying stuff like that to find common ground. He said Justin did want him to do his roast and he wasn't able to do it and they thought it was more than that. Howard asked if they didn't even bring that piece of shit comment up. Seth said it didn't come up. He said they didn't acknowledge it at all. Howard said that Seth doesn't confront and be honest. Seth said he's shocked when he confronts people on things. Howard asked how long the meeting was with Justin. Seth said it was like 5 minutes maybe. He said it was very polite. He said they took a picture together and it came out nice. He said Justin came out in a Seth Rogen head on Ellen too.
Howard said Seth says that Shia LaBeouf blocked him on Twitter. Seth said he did and he's not sure why. He said he wasn't following him but he did block him. He said one day he was randomly checking him and he found out he was blocked. He said he's not sure why. He said he may have said something but he doesn't know what.
Howard asked Seth what he's up to now. He said he knows he was shooting Neighbors 2. Seth said they just wrapped on that 2 weeks ago. Howard asked Seth about the Zach Efron and his dick because he talked about how he showed him the base of his cock last time. Seth said that he did show him the ''root'' of his cock and it's bigger than his and Justin Bieber's.
Howard said Seth is doing an animated movie called ''Sausage Party'' and it's a Pixar movie. Seth said that's the one they work the hardest and longest on. He said no one wanted to make it because of what the content. He said they're making it for under $30 million so that's really cheap. Howard asked how they got the price down. Seth said they created a small animation studio. He said that a lot of the money goes into that.
Howard said Seth is out promoting ''The Night Before.'' Howard asked if he's doing a lip sync battle for this promotion. Seth said he didn't do that. He said he doesn't think he'd be good at it. He said that Joe Gordon Levitt is good at it so he's going to do it. Seth said that he's going to do color commentary for the other guys from the movie.
Howard asked Seth about what the game plan is around the late night shows. Seth said he had another movie out a month ago. He said you have to split it up. Howard said he's a good guest so they must all want him on. Seth said he did Fallon for the Steve Jobs movie. He said now when you're on a talk show you want to create something that lives beyond the show. He said that you want to do something funny that you get mileage from. Howard said you want it to go viral. Seth said it's all geared toward that. Howard asked what he did on Fallon. Seth said he went on with Steve Wozniak and they played a game together. Howard asked if he feels disloyal to the other late night guys when he does Fallon. Seth said he doesn't think about it at all.
Howard asked Seth about the new movie ''The Night Before'' and what that's about. Seth said it's a Christmas movie. He gave Howard the rundown of the cast and things like that too. Howard asked if he has to do the casting. Seth said he does and it's so humiliating. He said he can't deal with it. Seth said it's tough to deal with it.
Howard asked Seth to sell the movie to him. Seth gave Howard a rundown of the movie. Howard asked how high he is right now. Seth said he's not very high right now. He gave Howard a rundown of the movie and what it's about. He said it's a coming of age kind of movie. He said the reviews are good so far. Howard asked what kind of money it's going to make. Seth said he has no fucking clue. He said that's one thing about his career that he knows. He said that he has no fucking clue what people are going to respond to.
Howard said Seth recorded a couple of songs for them. He said that they had him singing Adele's ''Hello.'' Howard played a Seth Rogen impersonator singing that song. Howard said he also recorded Justin Bieber's ''What Do You Mean''. Howard played those and said that's a good impression. Seth said that's very good. He said he'd give it an 8 out of 10. He said that it's kind of weird that someone in that room is doing an impression of him. Robin asked if they ever played the Jack and Rod Show where the Marijuana woman was on. Seth said he has heard that one and it's amazing.
Howard said he's excited for Seth with this new movie he has coming out. Howard said he has a lot going on. Howard said he heard that he had an office at Sony that they kicked him out of and it took 2 years to get the smell of weed out of there. Seth said it was the best office on the lot and it doesn't smell like weed. He said that they had the best office there. He said that they did take it away from them.
Howard asked Seth how it works when you become a movie star writer and they give you an office. Howard said they offered it to him and he doesn't have to pay rent. Seth said they did for free finagle an office out of them. He said they attached it to a movie. He said that they said they needed somewhere to write and they gave it to them. Howard said some people must get a closet to work in. Seth said that's what they have now. He said they almost ruined the company with their movie so now they're in a closet. Seth said they still work with Amy Pascal. Seth said that she's the one who took that office they had. Howard said it seems like a dick move. Seth said it was kind of because of them that she was demoted. Seth said now they're in an office you'd expect them to be in. Seth said they're more productive now.
Howard gave Seth more plugs and asked who they're up against. Seth said they're up against The Hunger Games. Howard said he doesn't give a shit about that movie. Howard said that not everything has to be a big action movie.
Howard asked if JD said he wanted to smoke weed with Seth. Howard said he thought he didn't smoke weed. JD said he wasn't looking to but if he was given the opportunity he's not sure if he'd pass it up or not. Seth said he has done that with people who haven't smoked weed and he'll give them a hit and he looks at them and tells them that they're about to have the worst 5 hours of their life. He said his weed is strong and it's the worst place to do it at a party.
Howard said celebrity is a strange thing. He said that a guy who hasn't smoked weed wants to smoke with him. Seth said it's weird and it scares him. He said he worries that people around him are doing things they shouldn't be doing. Howard said that is weird. Howard said he's a master of smoking weed. HE's put years into it. Howard told JD to go home and smoke weed. JD tried to say something but he gave up. JD said it's fine and he will do whatever. Howard said JD is a star fucker. JD said in regards to smoking weed, yes. Seth said he has smoked weed with Snoop and Method Man. He said that leaves an impression on him. He said he remembers every famous person he smoked weed with. Robin said he didn't do it just because they were there. Seth said there is a chance.
Howard asked how often Seth washes his sheets. Seth said once a week. Howard had JD tell him how long he went. JD told him ''A year.'' Seth said that's fucking sick. Howard said he sent a whole fucking hear and he's telling people about it. Seth said that's like a layer of ass.
Howard said he just learned something else about JD. JD asked what he's doing to him. Howard said when JD gets online to watch web cam girls he has the girls make out with porn chicks. Seth laughed and said he though the was going to say a picture of himself.
Howard had the Seth Rogen impersonator on the phone and had him trying to talk to the real Seth. Fake Seth's impression wasn't that good. Seth said he had the laugh down but that was about it.
Howard said JD only tweets to celebrities on Twitter. JD said that's not true. He said he tweets to other people. Howard said Seth is one funny fucking dude. Howard said he doesn't want to brag so he'll do it for him. He gave him some plugs and said he is so comfortable acting that it seems like he's not even acting. Howard said he will take on a lot of lines and remember them all. Howard said he did that in the Steve Jobs movie. Howard said he was good in that movie. That led to Seth talking about how big Fassbender's dick is. He saw it in another movie. Howard talked about how he was in therapy and he wasn't sure if he should talk about his small penis with his therapist. He said he brought it up once and the guy looked at him like he was insane so he never brought it up again.
Howard asked who the biggest celebrity is that he met in the last month. Seth said it might be Justin Bieber. He said he's very famous. Howard asked where he's going next. Seth said he's going to the Today show. He's following Charlie Sheen. Seth said he's going in there after the biggest announcement of the year. Howard said Bieber is on the Today show too. Seth said he's got to be kidding. Howard said he's not. Seth said this happens every promotional tour. He said he gets in sync with some music act. Howard said he has to go see Justin again. Howard gave Seth some more plugs and ended the interview. They went to break after that. They played Train performing ''Drive By'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were going to break.
Howard came back and said he has Bree Olson there. Howard said that every front page is filled with Charlie Sheen. Howard said he went on the Today show and admitted he has AIDS. Howard said that Bree Olson was one of Charlie's Angels. Howard said that she's still hot. Howard said that she has been driving all morning long. Bree drove in from Indiana. She said she just moved there 2 weeks ago. Howard said Bree is a little woozy from driving in. Bree said she moved back there to write her book. She said that it's great to be back home and to have some quietness.
Howard said Bree is kind of shaking and upset. He said that he understands why. Howard said that she lived with Charlie for how long. She said she lived with him for about a year. She said then they were on the tour together for 6 or 7 months. Howard asked when she learned that he had HIV. She said it was about 3 days ago when she started getting calls. She said it was everything happening in Paris and then this. She said that people were emailing her about it and even she wanted to blow it off. She thought it was just another Charlie thing. She didn't want to believe it.
Howard asked if she went into a panic over the story. Howard said that Charlie may have contracted AIDS around 2006. Howard said that he never said anything. Bree said that she lived with him and they were together having sex almost every day for a year. She said they were using lambskin condoms. Howard said she got an HIV test. Bree said she's going to reveal this to Howard first. She said that she is negative for HIV. She said it's on the piece of paper if he wants to see it. Howard said he believes her.
Howard told her to make a necklace out of it and show people. Howard asked how long it takes to get the test. Bree said it's 20 minutes. She said it's a free test and it only took 20 minutes. She said it was so fast and so nice.
Howard asked if Bree if it's free for everyone or just people who slept with Charlie Sheen. She said it's for everyone. Howard saw the test and said it does say she's negative. Howard said thank god, right? Bree said yes. Robin said she's been away from him long enough that she knows it's good. She said that she goes to her OB GYN once a year and gets tested. She said that she's good. Bree said there are people who are wondering if they should go get tested.
Howard asked if she still speaks to Charlie. Bree said she hasn't spoken to him in a while. She said that she is so upset about this. She said she is shaking from it. She said she's been crying. She said she can't believe someone would do this to her. She said she was in love with him and she was his girlfriend. She said that she left the industry for him and never went back.
Howard said that Bree developed a relationship over time with him. Howard asked if she thinks that he had HIV from the beginning and he knew it. Bree said that she saw the interview thing and he admitted that it was during that tiger blood thing. She said that's when she was with him and they were sleeping together every night. She said he never said anything to her. She said he claimed he was clean. Bree said she didn't want to use lambskin condoms but he claimed he was clean. She said that he insisted on the lambskin. She said that she hesitated and she made the mistake of trusting him. Howard said that's the meanest thing he could do.
Howard said Bree had threesomes with Charlie and his ex-wife too. Howard said she claims she knew. Bree asked if he's kidding. Howard said he's not sure if that's 100 percent true. JD said Charlie claims he told Brooke. Howard said they have to listen to that interview. Howard said that someone should have told Bree. Bree said it's unbelievable. Howard said Brooke may not have known. He said this is Charlie making those claims. Howard asked if they ever took any drugs or anything together. Bree said they did not. She said they didn't get tattooed either.
Howard played some of the Matt Lauer interview with Charlie Sheen. In the clip Charlie said he had to put a stop to the onslaught of the attacks on him. Charlie said they're sub truths and they're very harmful. Charlie was saying that they're not true stories.
Howard said that Bree looks lost with that. Howard played more of the clip and Charlie claimed he was diagnosed 4 years ago. That's when Bree was dating him. She said they had Natalie around too. Bree said if she knew she never said anything to her.
Howard said when Bree moved in with Charlie she thought it was going to be a 2 person relationship. Bree said that it was a one on one relationship. She said he would fly out to Indiana to see her and it was just the two of them. Then he moved in another woman. Bree said that she didn't move in until Charlie stopped using drugs. She said that Natalie was into the drug thing with him and they got sober together.
Howard played more of the Charlie Sheen interview and he was talking about how he would wake up at night sweating. Bree said she remembers that. She said he blamed it on steroids. Charlie said they told him what was going on at that time. Bree said he was seeing him at that time and he was seeing a doctor regularly. She said that he told her that this was just his steroids that he was taking at the time. She said that she never thought to question it. Howard said it's cruel not to tell someone this if you're using lambskin rubbers. Bree said it's illegal to do that.
Howard played more of the interview and Charlie claims that he has people who he has paid to be quiet about this. He said it's not that many but it's enough to bring it into the millions.
Bree said she is one of the only girls during that time who lived with him. She never went and sold any of her stories. Bree said she has stories but she has never said anything negative about him. She said that it's bullshit if he thinks that she did anything. She said she has proved her loyalty to him. Howard said that he didn't even know he had AIDS until they were already dating.
Howard played a clip where Matt asked Charlie about a prostitute taking pictures of his anti-viral meds and threatened to release them. That's one of the people he claims he was paying off but not after today.
Bree said that she would have kept this quiet if he had told her. Gary came in and said that they had that Charlie Sheen girlfriend pageant and they asked Bree to do it but she turned them down because of loyalty. Bree thanked Gary for pointing that out.
Howard played more of Charlie's interview and he was talking about how he has had unprotected sex with women who knew about the HIV positive thing. Charlie claimed that he told everyone about his HIV.
Howard asked Bree what she thinks about that. Bree said it's bullshit. She said he doesn't value her life. She said that if someone goes without knowing about it then they can die. She said that if they're warned they can take some medication to help. She said that she was never told.
Bree said all she knows is that because of him people are going to think of HIV right next to it. Howard said there was a $200,000 offer to do an interview after she dated Charlie and she turned that down. Bree said they didn't even talk after that. She said that she never signed a contract with him or anything. She said she could have talked but she didn't.
Howard played more of Charlie talking to Matt with someone claiming that he has taken meds and his HIV levels are so low they're undetectable. Bree said that she never had a warning about this and he was never given a second look. She said that he's claiming that he had sex with women under a doctor's care. She said she's not sure what's going on with that. She said she was never wanted.
Howard asked if Bree will go to some of the other women and asked if they knew. Bree said she's not sure. She said there are so many people coming to her and asking her to do an interview and she wanted to come on and talk to Howard. She said she doesn't trust anyone more than Howard. She said he's the one she wanted to speak to.
Howard asked Bree if anything happened in the house that she's thinking twice about. Howard asked if there are incidents that she hasn't spoken about that she is more inclined to talk about now. Bree said that she's thinking about when he went off about the Tiger Blood thing and it may have been more about finding out about this and not so much the steroids. Bree said that she had people telling her to get out of that house and she eventually did. She said she left in the middle of the tour. She said it was in the middle of the night that she left. She said she thought he was going to calm down but he never did. Howard said she must have been scared. Bree said she wrote him a note and just got out of there. Bree said that he didn't have a problem yelling at her but it was this whole posse of people who were around him all the time. She said they pushed him to do that tour. She said she was the only one telling him not to do it.
Howard asked if Charlie owes her a phone call. Bree said she doesn't want it. She said she would say ''Fuck you!'' and hang up the phone. Howard said he's going around telling people that he told these women that he had HIV. He put their lives in danger. Bree said he did. Howard said the other women may owe her an apology too. Bree said with things like this she can't stress enough that if he could have trusted anyone with the news it was her. She said she wasn't even going to do playboy without asking him first. She sad that he said yes but she wouldn't have done that if he didn't want her to.
Howard said that Charlie knew he had AIDS and he was still fucking her. He said that's the most intimate thing you can do. Howard said he knew. Bree said that they did go without condoms at times. She said that she trusted him. She said that she didn't want to get pregnant either so she made sure he pulled out. She said that she made sure to tell him that she didn't want to get pregnant. She said some people think that these women are sleeping with him to get a meal ticket by getting pregnant. Bree said she didn't want that. She said he did finish inside her but not during her menstrual cycle. She said she would let other boyfriends that too.
Howard said that Charlie knew for that year. Bree said he just said it during that interview that he knew. She said that's when she was there during the ''tiger blood'' time. Howard asked if she would have stayed with him if she knew. Bree said she loved him but she loves herself more. Howard said he doesn't think Charlie was in love with her. If he was he would have told her.
Howard asked what the next step in this is. Bree said the woman at the HIV clinic was so awesome. She said that there are free clinics out there that test. She said that they do it everywhere. Howard said that Charlie is on the Today show claiming he's the victim. Howard said he's claiming that he told all the girls he was with. Howard said it seems like a pack of lies to Bree. Bree agreed. Howard said she needs to look into this. Bree said that the woman at the testing center gave her a pamphlet that says if he knowingly gave it to her then it's illegal. She said it was Russian Roulette for a full year. She said that she took a test for an ancestry thing and she ran that information through and it tells you if you're more susceptible to thing. She said that she has a gene that makes her less likely to get HIV. She said she's very fortunate. Howard said she really is. Bree said it's not a guarantee though.
Bree said that she's not in touch with any of the women that he sleeps with. She said that there must be millions out there. She said that she's not sure if the other girls used protection. She said there was a stream of women going through that house at the time so there are a lot. She said that she saw prostitutes walking through the kitchen when she was at his house.
Howard asked Bree why she would put herself in a relationship with a guy like that. Bree said it was the stupidest thing she has ever done. She said even more so than porn. Howard asked Bree if she is in therapy at all. Bree said she has been in therapy since she was 15. She said that she has disguised a lot of things. She said that it was hard to recover when she was in the industry.
Bree said that she was in jail very young and she was in for 3 years. She said her mom hit her when she was growing up and at 11 she struck her mother back. She said that she didn't know her mother was schizophrenic. She said her mom called the cops on her. She said that it took an hour for the Sheriff to come. She said that he came into the house and things were different back then. She said that the sheriff asked if she hit her mama and she said yes. She said she was handcuffed. She said that he abuse continued for a year and she ended up doing some other things. She said she had 5 charges of battery against her mom and it was all very silly stuff after that. She said she TP'd a house and they called it vandalism. She said it was nothing that should put a little girl in jail. She said she was raped in jail by a woman. She said she was beaten in there too. She said she was shackled from her wrists to her ankles. Bree said she has been in therapy over that. Howard said it's no wonder she's attracted to that dark side. Bree said she's not seeing anyone right now. She said she's going to be working on her book in Indiana now.
Howard asked if she has dated normal guys. Bree said that's all she dated before Charlie. Bree said that we take the love we think we deserve. She said that's what was going on with Charlie.
Bree said she had a big female following now. She said that she didn't find religion or anything. She said that she doesn't regret doing porn. She said she regrets seeing how society would treat her after doing it. Bree said she can never be a teacher or a nurse now. She said that's what she regrets. Howard said that it will haunt her the rest of her life. Howard said she's forever the porn star.
Howard asked what Bree is going to do next. Bree said she's not sure. She said she has been getting death threats. Howard asked what she did. Bree said people think she has AIDS. She said she got a death threat on her way to get the HIV test. She said that some guy called her and said she needs to die before she gives AIDS to anyone else. She said she's the sex worker and people think she gave it to Charlie. Howard said that what Charlie did may have been illegal. Bree said she hopes that all of the thousands of women out there get tested. She said that he used lambskin condoms and they don't stop STDs from being passed along. She said she questioned that immediately. Howard said if he was religious he'd thank god for being AIDS free. Bree said she's not but she was asking Jesus for her not to hit a deer on the way there.
Howard said that it is illegal to have sex knowingly with a person if you know you have AIDS and don't tell the other person. Howard said it's a law in California. Howard said that she might have to pursue this. Robin said he was able to hide his drug use from people too.
Howard asked if Bree can think of anything that she should tell people about what went on in that house. Bree said she's thinking. She said there is one thing. She wasn't sure if she should say. Bree said she doesn't know. She said he has put her through this and she still doesn't want to talk about him. She said this is her moral path. Howard said she's holding back to protect him. Bree said his anger and rage was so crazy at times. She said that when they were living together Denise Richards didn't want the kids there. She said that she understands that completely. Bree said that he was going crazy about that. She said that Denise told him he could come see them but he wouldn't leave his house. She said if he does it's very guarded and weird. Bree said Charlie threatened Denise to her constantly. She said that he had a hidden room off his bedroom that they spent a lot of time in. She said that she was the one he confided in with these crazy thoughts. Bree said the things he said about her and his plans for her. She said that it was the details like him saying that he knew how to make people disappear and make it appear to be an accident. Howard said maybe he was trying to be a tough guy. Bree said she doesn't know. She said that she knows the difference. She said he had really methodical fantasies about it. She said that she wasn't sure if she should tell Denise or not. She said that she realizes now that dating him is the dumbest thing she has ever done.
Howard said Bree is there to announce that she's HIV negative. Howard said that this story may keep going and going now. Howard said that he's sorry for her struggling and pain. Howard thanked her for coming in. Howard asked where she's going. Bree said she's probably going home. Howard said she should get some sleep. Bree said she's going to try. Howard wished her luck with everything. Howard thanked her again for coming in. He said it's such a weird story. Bree said it is weird to see them under these circumstances. Howard said they usually have some fun. He said he's still beating off to her old movies if that makes it better. Bree thanked him for that. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that. They played Sting performing ''Every Little Thing She Does is Magic'' in the Howard Stern Show studio as they were going to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Bree Olson and what Charlie did to her and other women. He asked if Charlie cracked after the 2 and a Half Men thing. Howard said he's not going to play psychiatrist there but finding out you have HIV must blow your mind but you don't lose all humanity. Howard said he can't imagine that. Robin said they know he traded on women and that's not a good sign of humanity.
Howard said he has a phony phone call to lighten the mood. Howard said there's a woman in Toledo running for mayor and she speaks in tongues. Howard said whenever she gets stressed out or she's confronted she starts babbling. Howard played an example of her babbling. Howard said that he was listening to this last night giggling. He said that Jeb Bush should do something like this. Howard said they made a call to some dude on the air who speaks in tongues and they had this woman speaking in tongues to that guy. Howard played the call and it was Chris Wilding who made the call using those clips. Howard said usually you hang up on a call like that when you hear someone speaking like that but this guy does it so he keeps her on. The host of the show was trying to oust the demons from this woman. The two of them were babbling in tongues. They eventually get rid of the demon and Chris has the woman saying ''Thank you Jesus'' over and over again.
Howard said that's so great. Howard said that you know deep down that it's all made up. He said it's two idiots speaking in tongues. Howard said it gives him faith that the woman came in last in the mayoral race. Howard said that we have our own religious nuts in this country and we're worried about ISIS.
Howard said he has a clip of this guy Kevin Swanson who people worship with. Howard said this guy is talking about how evil gay people are. Howard said then he introduced Mike Huckabee and another couple of candidates who were with him. It was Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal. Howard said they don't say a fucking word about this guy. Howard said they listened to all of this. Howard played the clip of this Kevin Swanson guy talking about homosexuals and why it's a problem. He said these are the people with gaping sores and people are coming in and carving happy faces on the sores. Howard asked what the guy is talking about. Robin said this guy is also against Harry Potter and some Disney character.
Howard asked JD if Huckabee and those guys were on stage. JD said they were there and he interviewed them at this conference. Howard said the guy goes even further. Howard played another clip of the guy calling for the death penalty for homosexuals. Howard said maybe this guy should be ashamed of believing in this stuff.
Howard said he's not sure what the difference is between this guy and ISIS. Robin said there is no difference. Howard played more of the guy and said that he is saying put the gays to death.
Howard said on the same day this guy interviews Mike Huckabee. Robin said they're claiming innocence. Howard said it's like when actors go to some horrible dictator's birthday party and claim they don't know. Howard said this is like being questioned by a guy who just got out of a mental institution. Howard played the clip of Swanson talking to Mike Huckabee. Howard said this is what's going on in our country and we're going after ISIS. Howard said that they'd be doing the same shit as ISIS if they were given free rein. Howard said that a U.S. Senator should look into a guy before being interviewed by him. Howard said he's sure Ted Cruz would say he wouldn't want to speak to Howard Stern. Howard said he'll go speak to this guy though.
Howard said he finds it hard to believe that those guys were there. He said he'd love to talk to them and ask how they decide where they're going to go and who they talk to. Howard said maybe they should fire people who booked that. Howard asked JD if they were really there. JD said they were. He said Rachel Maddow played clips of the guy introducing them. Howard said the world has gone nuts. Robin said these people are dangerous. Howard said that's what he's saying.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wants to compliment him on his interview. He said that Bree has gone through hell in her life. He wished her luck. Howard said he does too. Howard said that was pretty chilling.
Gary said they are saying that Huckabee was unaware that the pastor backs the death penalty for homosexuals. Gary said they have to know. Howard said he thinks they do. Gary said these things are like KKK meetings like if they keep it quiet no one will know.
Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what Howard thought when Bree went silent and didn't talk about what she thought was something that people should know. Howard said he thinks that she said it all. He said that our world is nuts.
Howard said he got the vibe of what she was saying. He said that Charlie is some nut job. Howard said if he had HIV he might not tell anyone but he wouldn't have sex with anyone. Howard said Charlie was like ''Fuck you. I'm gonna get what I want.'' Howard said Robin would be livid if someone did that to her. Robin said Bree is pretty calm for what happened to her. Howard said he'd be on the warpath if that happened to him. Robin said she's sure that she's in shock.
Howard said they should do some news. They played Robin in with a song parody from Eli Braden. Howard said he was in bed at 7 last night and watched Walking Dead and Homeland. He said he watched Gotham too. He said then he watched the beginning of Supergirl. Howard said he's not liking the show. He said the character is a moron. Howard said she grew up with superpowers and she's such a douche. Howard said that Supergirl kind of protects her city. He said that she just stays limited to her city. Howard said it's weird. Howard said the whole thing is fucked up. Howard said she's a disaster as a super hero. Howard said she's kind of dumb too. Howard said he's not sure if he's digging the show. Robin said she has to bail on it. She said she's having a difficult time with it. Howard said she has real guts. Howard said it's hard for him to bail on any super hero show. Howard said he stuck with Smallville for every season. Howard said that was crazy.
Howard said he's watching Southland. He said he got that on iTunes. Howard said he's behind on The Good Wife this season. He said he's very proud that he is caught up on that stuff. He said he loved when he asked Ray Kelly if he watches Dancing with the Stars and he said no. He said that he just watches sports. Howard said that Ray is a real man. Howard said he would take out a gun and shoot a guy before trying to tackle him like Ray talked about doing. Howard said that guy is a real man. Howard talked about what a pussy he is and Fred played Little Lupe's ''Vagina pussy'' clip a few times. Howard said they should get that back into rotation.
Robin stared her news with a story about Yogi Berra and how he lived a long life. Robin said he lived to be 90. Robin said they just gave him a medal of freedom. Robin said that they didn't give it to him before he died. Howard said poor Yogi. Howard said maybe Sal's Long Island Medium friend can contact Yogi and let him know about that.
Robin read about the number of undefeated NFL teams that are out there. Howard tried to figure it out but he was wrong when he guessed the Kansas City Chiefs. Howard said Richard's dad was saying ''What about them Chiefs'' to Richard. Howard played a clip of Mr. Christy talking about that in a voicemail for Richard. Howard said that's Richard and his dad bonding.
Robin read a story about a guy who spent over $718,000 with two different psychics because he wanted to be with a woman he was in love with even after she died. Robin said this guy thought they were going to do some kind of reincarnation portal for him. Robin said the guy said he got sucked in with that. Robin said that's what this guy says people don't understand about these people. Howard said you can't be with them. Robin said the guy ended up pressing charges when he came to his senses. Robin said he has gone public because he's a normal guy who doesn't have a brain cell missing. Robin said he gave his whole life savings to these people. Howard said sadness isn't an excuse for stupidity.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that what Charlie Sheen did is some of the seediest things you can do. He said that's really low. Howard said it's fine to keep a secret but don't fuck other chicks. He said that's not cool.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he wanted to inform him there are only 8 tickets left for his appearance in L.A. Howard said they had better hurry and get there. The Lump was on the phone too. Howard asked if anyone thought that there would be 32 people who would want to see Jeff cooking and doing karaoke. Jeff said there are 40 tickets. The Lump said he'd rather get fucked by Charlie Sheen than go to that. Howard asked Jeff if he has any STDs to announce. Jeff said he's clean as a whistle. The Lump said that he's HIV positive that Jeff's show is going to suck. Howard let Jeff and The Lump go after that.
Howard had a clip of Jeff the Drunk and Tan Mom arguing with each other. He played that for Robin. Jeff was yelling at Tan Mom after Shuli put them on the phone together. Howard said that's still better than the CNBC debates.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he thinks that David Letterman has regretted his decision. Howard said he has tape of Bobo doing a driving lesson thing and he will play that tomorrow. He said it's so boring. Howard said Bobo is running out of questions. He said Bobo hears him doing a rap about something and he'll call in and bring it up again. Robin said he writes it down and waits a couple of weeks. Howard said Bobo knows his feelings about Letterman. He said he has heard all of that. Bobo said he has. He said he wonders how he's feeling right now. Howard asked how he would know any of that. Bobo asked if he's reaching out to him at all. Howard laughed. Howard put Bobo's Toupee on the phone. Howard said he's talked about all of this Letterman stuff before. Bobo's Toupee said he's friends with Dave's Beard so he can talk to him too.
Bobo said he has a good question about Fred's birth of Leo Nukis and asked what Nukis is all about. Howard said Fred has spoken about that too. Howard said that Fred hasn't talked about that in a long time. Fred said they've been over it though. Fred said Bobo knows the answer. Bobo said he doesn't know. Fred said Bobo is just rehashing old stuff. Howard said he thinks that's a legitimate question. Bobo also asked about this half sister and if he ever made up with her. Fred said he never met her. Howard said he didn't even know about that. Fred said they've talked about that on the show too. Howard let Bobo go a short time later.
Fred went over some of that Bobo stuff and said that he was born Nukis and his dad left so he took his step father's name. He said that his mother was the one who actually took them. He said his mom wanted him to have the middle name of Leo. He said that he changed his name to Eric because his mom said she wanted to name him that but his father didn't want it so he didn't allow it. Howard said that he has never met the half sister but she's innocent in all of this. Howard asked if he's curious at all. Fred said he's not. He said she's never reached out to him either. Robin asked if his father is still alive. Fred said he is. He said he has no contact with him but through jungle drums he knows he's still alive. Fred said he's never reached out to him either. Howard said he thinks that was a legitimate question from Bobo. He said he hit it out of the park with that.
Howard took a call from Tan Mom who will be boxing a transsexual soon. Tan Mom said she has to cut to the chase. She said she just came from the gym so she needs a minute. Howard told her to go ahead. Tan Mom asked if she should get an AIDS test if she's boxing this transsexual. Howard asked if she thinks that all homosexuals have AIDS. Tan Mom said no but she is wondering if she should get tested. Howard said if you're boxing then yes you should. Tan Mom said tomorrow is the press conference. She said she's fine with the transsexual thing. Howard asked if Tan Mom is thinking about joining Scientology. Howard said she and Sal really are a perfect match. Howard said she should join. Tan Mom was rambling so Howard said he really has to go. Tan Mom asked him what she's walking in to with this. Howard said he's not sure but he really has to go. Howard said he doesn't think she's ready to box so she would walk away. Howard said that's just his opinion. Tan Mom said she hasn't signed anything yet. Howard said he'll talk to her tomorrow when he has more time. Howard said he's running out of time today. Howard said he doesn't want to give her short answers. He said he has to think about it tonight. He hung up on her.
Howard said Tan Mom is talking about Milf Mom who beat her ass in like 12 seconds. Howard said she's forgetting about that. Howard said Sal got a sexy voicemail from Tan Mom. Howard played the clip of Tan Mom telling Sal she's been thinking about him. She was telling Sal how nice it would be to grab a cup of coffee. Howard said she turns his ass on too. Howard said she's too hot. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard read some email about The Lump and Bobo's Toupee and how they have to keep having them on. Howard said he had some mail about Tan Mom too. Howard said someone said that she is a Wack Packer and might be the best of all time. Howard said another person said that she is a Wack Packer and she has even argued with herself in a phony phone call. Howard said if you fall for that then you are a Wack Packer. Howard said you can't tell him that she's not a Wack Packer. He said he told that to Natalie Maines recently. He said he told her that he invented the Wack Pack and don't argue with him about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked what he was thinking about all of the lying in the news lately. She asked if Brian Williams or that guy Steve Rannazzisi or Charlie Sheen is worse. Howard said Charlie Sheen is the worst. Howard said that having sex with someone with AIDS is like playing Russian Roulette. Howard said Bree is freaking out about all of that. Howard said that is the worst thing that you can do.
The caller asked if Howard would have brought it up if he had HIV. Howard said going public is a heavy decision. Howard said if he did have it he's not sure he would go public with it. Howard said he wouldn't have sex with anyone though. He said that's the real issue. He said it's about being honest with people. Howard said he doesn't think Charlie would have done it if he wasn't forced into it.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about a terrorist help desk that ISIS is running. Robin said that it's helping would be jihadists. Howard said that kills him. He said that they're doing so many things like that. Howard said they have a help line. Howard said it would be funny if they outsourced it to another country. Robin said NBC news has reported that the help desk is manned by six senior people in ISIS. Howard said he'd love to prank call them.
Howard said Tan Mom is Wack Pack. He played a phony phone call Sal did with her where he played clips of Tan Mom to talk to Tan Mom. She was arguing with herself.
Howard made up what his phony phone call to the ISIS help desk would sound like. Howard did both ends of the call. Howard did that for a minute and Robin said she loves it. Howard kept it going with Fred playing phone ringing sounds behind him. Howard called in as some phone callers. Howard had one guy whose dick was stuck in a dead goat. Howard kept that up for a few minutes. He was answering the phone as the ISIL, ISIS, Daesh hotline.
Robin read a story about how Bill Cosby is losing another honorary degree. Robin wondered how many he had. Howard said he had a staggering number. He said he had a list of them. Howard said there are still colleges who haven't decided what to do. Robin said Drew University has revoked their honorary degree they gave in 2002. Robin said some people may be saying that it's only accusations that women are making and he hasn't been found guilty. Robin said Drew University didn't like what happened in his depositions so they pulled it. Howard said Cosby's obsession with the honorary degrees might be creepier than what he did to those women. Howard went back into his ISIS Hotline voice for a minute.
Robin read about the Charlie Sheen Today Show interview. Robin said he announced that he's HIV positive. Robin said he told Matt Lauer about how he found out and when he found out. Robin had some clips for Howard to play. Howard said Bree Olson wasn't to thrilled to hear this stuff this morning. Howard had a conversation between Charlie and the ISIS hotline guy. Howard said he was exhausted after doing those voices. Robin had more audio clips for Howard to play. Howard would play those and then go back into his ISIS hotline voice. Robin had one clip where Charlie said he had unprotected sex under a doctor's care and the women were warned ahead of time. Howard said that's the craziest thing he's ever heard. Howard said Matt Lauer's head must have exploded over this. He said he probably wasn't allowed to ask any hard ball questions.
Robin read a story about the Russian jet that was blown out of the sky and they're saying that it was a terrorist bomb that took it down. Robin said that they're offering a $50 million reward for information on the capture of the people involved. Robin said that the jet was brought down over Egypt last month. Howard said he thinks that the ISIS hotline thing is fun but the next bit is to actually call it.
Robin read about the terrorist attacks in Paris and how they are saying that ISIS will pay for what they did. Robin had some audio for Howard to play.
Howard read some email about what he said about closing the country and how we need to nuke the Middle East too. Howard said this guy was really going a few steps further. He was talking about nuking all Muslims.
Robin said they have to determine what to do with refugees who are coming to this country. Robin said there are some states who say they aren't going to accept Syrian refugees. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read a story about Bernie Sanders going out on the campaign trail. Robin had some audio from a rally he was at. Howard went into his ISIS hotline voice again for a few seconds. He played the Bernie Sanders clip after that. Robin said she can't help but think about Larry David when she hears his voice.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Matt Lauer looked like a professor with his glasses today. She said that Howard has a meeting today and there are only 9 more shows left before his contract is up. Howard said he has to get out of there actually. He asked Robin to wrap up.
Robin said Adele has put out another single from her album. Robin said she might have to go back into the studio. Robin had some audio of the song. Howard asked Robin if she can do that move with her voice. Robin tried it. Howard said he bets that all the other singers are jealous of Adele.
Robin said that Justin Bieber has upset his fans. Robin said you can get a selfie with him but it will cost you $2,000. Howard said that's worth it. Robin said they say he wants to sell more copies of his album than One Direction. Howard said he should call the ISIS hotline to get them to help. Robin said he has autographed some albums but people are wondering if he used a machine to do the signing.
Robin said the Dixie Chicks are going out on tour again. Robin said that they're doing a 26 state, 40 city tour. Howard said that's good because Natalie will be so busy that she won't be able to email him about Tan Mom not being in the Wack Pack. Robin had some audio of one of their songs. She wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:25am.
Jon said he was looking to confirm what happened to his character and Ronnie was the one who told him about it. He said he claims that Stephanie got him to watch the show but he loves them. Oliver said it takes a real man to admit he watches those shows.
Oliver said he pictured Ronnie a little dirtier than he is. He said that the sex tips are so brilliant. He said he follows them but he's getting divorced because of that. Jon said that Oliver comes from a famous family and he wonders how he got to know Howard. Oliver said he heard him on K-Rock and he got back into it after college when Howard was on Sirius. He said he's following the replays and things from over the years to catch up.
Jon asked Oliver about JD and Oliver said he's his favorite. He said JD should be part of the Wack Pack. He said he stutters, stumbles and mumbles and doesn't wash his sheets for over a year. He said that it's not even about women at that point. He said it's a hygiene issue. He said there is something going on there. He said he doesn't know of anyone who even comes close to doing that. He said that JD should have brought those sheets in there to have a smell test or something. Gary said that Jason came to him and asked if he ever sits on the bed before putting his socks on. Gary said he doesn't but there is fecal matter and things blowing around the sheets. There's all kinds of stuff going on under there.
Jon said Howard brought up JD with Seth Rogen that backfired on JD too. Gary said that's something that JD told someone there and that's what his problem is. He just tells people what he's thinking.
Jon asked Oliver where he stands on Bobo. Oliver said he's not a Bobo fan. He said even the saga around Bobo isn't for him. He said it's boring for him. Gary asked who in the Wack Pack he likes. Oliver said he loves Big Foot. He said he's one of a kind. He said that everyone is crazy but you can find similar people. He said that he challenges anyone to find someone like Big Foot. Jon said Beetlejuice is like that too. Oliver agreed. Gary said just the longevity of Beet is amazing. He said he's like the Rolling Stones of their Wack Pack.
Oliver said he thinks that Tan Mom is in the Wack Pack. He said he thinks she's moving up on the list too. He said she's unreal. He said hearing her fight with herself is unreal.
Jon asked Oliver where he stands with Jeff the Drunk. Oliver said he loves The Lump. He said he hasn't watched his Periscope yet. Jon said people always say they love The Lump but not Jeff. He said they never really pay attention to Jeff. Gary said that Jeff hated The Lump in the beginning. He said he has tried to accept it but he just can't do it. Oliver said that he was Jeff the Bore for a while. He said The Lump is the best thing to happen to him. Gary and Jon agreed. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that Oliver's family comes up on the show a lot. Oliver said he remembers hearing Kate on the show from many years ago. He said it was great hearing them interview his sister. He said he keeps telling her to do the show but she's scared. Gary said she shouldn't be. He said Howard likes her and it's easier to do an interview if Howard likes you.
Jon said that his mother is Goldie Hawn and his sister is Kate Hudson but they want to concentrate on Oliver. Jon asked Oliver about going out and doing PR for a project like Seth was doing today. Jon said that you have a segment on the Today show and you only have a few minutes to do it. Oliver said that you do the same shit over and over on shows like that. He said with Howard it's like half interview and half therapy session. He said that's because they have so much time to talk.
Gary said he thinks there will be some late night wars eventually. He said that all you need is one turncoat. He said that they may stop people from doing other shows. He said it will get ugly.
Jon said Seth made up with Justin Bieber on Ellen and he's going to see him again today at the Today show. He asked Oliver if he's ever run into people like that over and over. Oliver said that whole thing has gone pretty easy for him. He said he hasn't really run into anyone other than Seth today over at the Today show.
Gary said Oliver told him that he has met many celebrities and he got a tingle when he met Ronnie. Oliver said there is a mutual respect there. Jon said that Ronnie also let them know that it's the 30th anniversary of when he started working with Howard. Rahsaan said that his girlfriend was only 2 years old when he started.
Gary talked about those early days with Ronnie and how he was still doing proms and stuff. He had Playboy bunny stuff all over the car at the time. He said Howard asked him to take all of that shit out of the car though. Gary said he had a friend who drove for Ronnie and they used to tell the prom kids how to get chicks. They'd tell them to do whatever they wanted but they couldn't bring any sand into the limo.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how hot Bianca is from Rules of Engagement. Oliver said she's really hot and a great person. Jon said that David Spade was also on that show and he's been on the show a lot. Oliver worked with him for 7 years. He said Spade has a persona that people see but he's one of the most genuine people he knows. He said he's a really sweet human being and people don't know that part. Jon asked if they talked about the show together. Oliver said of course. He said they'd recap the show at work. He said when David would go on he'd ask him to work his name in there somehow. They went to break after that.
Jon said it sounded like someone who had their heart broken. Oliver said for sure. He said that any time you're faced with a life threatening illness and this person you respected and trusted didn't tell you the truth about it there has to be an anger element in there. Oliver said that if he was dating someone for 3 weeks there would be major anger. He said it's a betrayal and she could have had a potential death sentence.
Jon said Howard felt for her and he was finding out as she was finding out. Gary said she came in to talk specifically about this today. Gary said she was talking about the rest of her life and she has taken a lot of shit from people. He said it's surprising she made it this far.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves the show and all of that. He said that he thought what Bree went through was pretty fucked up. He said that he loves Bree and she's the best. Jon asked if he has always been a fan of her's. the caller said he has a lot of her moves and he loves her. Oliver asked if he's upset that she retired. The caller said he is. He said he wishes he could be one of those guys. He said if he wasn't with a girl he'd be looking her up. Gary said she is very pretty. The caller said she has a beautiful body and beautiful eyes. He said she's amazing.
Jon asked the caller if he relates to Richard and his dad because he's from Kansas too. The guy said no. Jon said Bree is his girl though. They talked to the guy more about Bree and asked what his favorite movie was. The caller wasn't able to pick just one. Jon ended up giving him a prize of $500 and a Ninja Coffee Bar. The caller said ''Oh sweet'' when he heard the news. Jon put him on hold.
Jon said they have to get that guy's information. He said that was a solid caller. Jon said that Bree left the industry just for Charlie. He said that she spoke about having threesomes with Charlie and another woman. He said that has to infuriate her that they didn't tell her about the HIV thing. Oliver said that the whole lambskin condom thing should just go away. He said that he's never even used one. Gary said he hasn't either. Jon said that Ronnie may be able to tell him about it. Oliver said he'll try one out and report back if he's ever on again.
Gary said Bree has turned down paid interviews. He said that she didn't have to come there. He said that she wanted to be real and pure with Howard. He said that made him believe her story even more. Oliver said it was a very good interview. He said it was like a Charlie Rose interview.
Jon said they have heard Robin singing a lot and they played the audio for some people on the street and they though it was Adele's raw audio. Gary asked what's wrong with people who believe that to be true. Oliver said that Robin is really going for it and trying but it's horrible. He said it's genius though. Gary asked if Robin sees the humor in it. Oliver said she has to. He said she can't think it's good. Gar said sometimes she hits the notes but then she misses them and not by just a little. Jon said he thinks that Robin is well aware of the humor and she just doesn't care.
Jon brought up Bobo's call to the show and how Howard thought it was a good one but Fred didn't. Gary said Howard made the point that they haven't covered it lately. Gary said he thinks Fred was pointing out that Bobo was going back to something he knew but it was something that they hadn't talked about in a while. Gary said he doesn't remember that Fred had a half sister. Oliver said that's what bothers him about Bobo. He said he's planned out and it's just trying to be on the air. Gary said that's what Bobo would say is good about his calls. He said it's that he can get Fred to say one thing that they don't remember.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up with Oliver. They were done around 12:05pm.
Howard started the show talking about finishing his coffee elixir. He said he should get it a little earlier. Robin said the last two days he's been finishing it on the air. Howard said he doesn't understand how people nurse their coffee for hours. He said his has only been there since 6:30 and it's lukewarm already. Howard said he gulped it down so he can get that rush.
Howard wondered where to begin. He said he was going to say hello to a few people. He took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if he would fuck Beth if she got AIDS from a blood transfusion. Howard said no. He said he would stay married but not fuck her. He said if she was fucking some other dude he wouldn't stay with her but if it was a blood transfusion he would stay. Howard said that he doesn't want to spread any mistruths but he has a mental illness when it comes to germs. He said it's safe to have sex with someone with HIV if you use a condom but he's not going to be doing that. Howard said he would just jerk off.
Howard said he was watching some porn last night on YouPorn and he saw some ''hot teen'' in her first threesome. Howard said it was two dudes so he tuned right out. Howard said he went to some fake agent stuff instead. Howard said the fake agent puts this girl in porn. He said this guy is ordering her around and things are fine. He said he pulled his pants down and he's stroking himself. He said he can't look in a mirror when he's doing that. Mark asked if he tries to time it to finish with the girl. Howard said he tries not to finish when the guy is showing his cock. He said porn is an art form. He said he's watching this thing and he has a whole system. He said he has 3 tissues to the left and 2 that go in his underpants when he's done. Howard said he needs 3 to shoot his load into because he can shoot through 2 even at his age.
Howard said he likes to look at his load when he's done. He said that he has to pee after his tissues are stuck to his cock. He said everything about it is annoying. Howard said the weirdest thing happens in this porn. He said that they tell the girl they have to know how she handles a penis. Howard said that the guy has his face blurred and the girl pulls out his cock. Before he bangs her he asks her to masturbate. He said she does that and then the guy sticks his thumb up her ass. Howard said the seduction was ridiculous. Howard said he blew his load and got the fuck out after that. He said he had to get out of that nightmare porn.
Mark asked if he has ever given up on a porn and moved on to another. Howard said he did that last night. He said the threesome video was the first one he tried. Howard said when two dudes were there it looked like a rape.
Mark said he loves the JD song parodies. Howard said he has a ton of JD stuff today. He said he should stay tuned. Howard said JD doest get that he's gross. JD said he's got it. Howard said they did him a favor with this whole sheet thing. Howard said he has some JD material now.
Howard asked Gary to look for a prize for Mark. Gary said they have a Ronnie cut out. Howard said that's kind of cool. Howard said he saw in the garbage they had this standee of Ronnie. He said he told Gary not to throw it out. Howard told Mark it's a great prize. Howard said he saw it in the garbage. It used to be outside the studio but it creeped him out. Howard said he asked the guys how they were throwing it out. He said there's this thing called Flat Stanley where these kids have a flat paper cut out. He said they bring it to events and have parents take pictures with it. Howard said he and Beth get requests to take it places. Howard said that he walks around taking pictures with it. Howard said he wants to do a Flat Ronnie thing and you take it wherever you go. Howard said they went and priced it out. It's like $100 to print it out. Howard said if they get 50 they've blown the whole budget. Howard said it's so funny to bring Ronnie places. Howard asked why they're giving Mark this Ronnie. Gary said he thinks they only have one. Howard said he's not giving it away. Howard said they have to give it to someone who will bring it out.
Gary said they are ordering more. Howard said he'll give Mark this one then. Howard said that he's going to play the Ronnie Pronunciation game. Howard said it's brought to us by no one. Howard said no one would touch this game. Howard said it's very simple. They asked Ronnie to read a word and you have to know if he can read it. The first word up was hypocrisy. Howard said that the winner will get a one of a kind Ronnie. Mark said he won't get it. Robin said yes. Ronnie said it ''hypocrious.'' That was just a test question. Howard said that Mark has to get 3 out of 5 now.
Howard said they asked Ronnie to say ''gratuitous.'' Howard asked if he can pronounce it. Mark said no. Ronnie got it right. Howard said next up was Ubiquitous. Mark said no way. Ronnie got it wrong. He just blurted out something close.
Howard asked Mark to tell them a little something about himself. Mark started to give a little rundown and Howard cut him off. Robin said that was a mistake to ask.
Howard said that the next word is ''Impertinent.'' Howard asked if he can say it right. Mark said no. Ronnie got it wrong again. Howard said they gave him the word ''Niche''. Mark said no. Ronnie got it wrong again. Mark won the Flat Ronnie. Mark asked if Ronnie will sign the thing. Howard said they can ask. He said he may or may not.
Howard said Ronnie is still using a Blackberry for those who were wondering. Mark asked Howard to get that flat Ronnie signed by everyone. Howard said the idea is to get it out there and take pictures with it so it looks like Ronnie is out there. Howard said you don't want it signed. Howard said Mark is annoying him now. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard played some more words. He had Ronnie trying to say Insatiable and some other words. Ronnie came in and said that he is having major issues today. He said he put his underwear on backwards when he got dressed this morning. He said he wasn't able to pull his cock out when he had to piss. Howard said he opens up his pants and pulls his underwear down. He said that way he doesn't have to touch his cock. Ronnie said he does it through his fly. Howard said he almost zipped his cock up in his zipper once so he doesn't do that anymore. Howard said he holds his dick with his underpants.
Howard played another Ronnie clip of him thing to say ''Myriad.'' He got that one wrong. Howard said Ronnie did graduate. Ronnie said he did. Howard had him saying ''Incomprehensible.'' He tried saying ''Vociferous'' and got that one wrong.
Ralph called in and said it's the greatest game ever. Howard said he'll play with him. He had Ronnie trying to say Plethora. He got it wrong. Howard said he has Ronnie trying to say ''Sycophant'' and he got that one wrong too.
Ralph said he needs a Flat Ronnie. Howard said he thought this was going to be a huge thing. He said that they were throwing it out and they were going to give up a great thing like that. Howard said that everywhere people go they can take Flat Ronnie. Ralph said he thinks you can take it anywhere. Howard said even if it's in a park you can take it. Ralph said he'd take it on the Subway with him. Howard said Ralph sometimes says he's going to do something and he doesn't do it. Ralph said he will. Howard said those things are very expensive to make. Ralph said he knows they can be done for less than $100. Robin said she'd like one about 1/4 the size. Robin said you can't take that one anywhere. Howard said he doesn't tell her how to do the news so don't tell him how to do Flat Ronnie.
Howard said it's great because it's life size. Howard said he has this great idea and then realizes they have no budget. Howard said he had a meeting and they're working on getting the money for that. Ralph said he knows he can get them done for less than $100. Robin said they won't stand if he gets them done. Howard said it would be great to take Ronnie to a funeral and stand him next to a casket. He said they could put him in a prison. Howard said maybe put him on a Merry Go Round. He said they can let him go around. Howard said people would freak out.
Ralph said they could float him in the East River. Howard said they can put him in an ISIS video. Howard said they can take him and stick him next to the Black Israelites who are yelling in the streets.
Ralph asked who threw that out. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he told the guys to clean up the office but they didn't know what to do with that thing. He said that he saw it sitting in the garbage and he had to save it. Ronnie said it was downstairs in the basement. Howard said that's right. He said don't ask him what he was doing down there. Ronnie said it's the homo room. Howard said he thought of Flat Stanley and he came up with Flat Ronnie.
Ralph asked if Howard is caught up with Gotham. Howard said he is. Ralph asked how great it is. Howard said it's like the best show he's ever seen. Howard said Bruce Wayne has to start learning Karate and shit. Ralph said he is. He said he's learning Karate and stuff. Howard said he has to start learning that stuff now. Ralph said that it is season one. Howard said it's season 2. Ralph said that's right. Howard said the guy who plays Penguin is fantastic. Howard said Ben McKenzie is great in the show. Howard said he's really good. Howard said it would be great if Flat Ronnie showed up in Gotham. Howard said maybe on Dancing with the Stars. Howard asked how great that would be.
Ralph asked if Fish Mooney is coming back. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard said they can never have too much comic book talk. Howard said they have exclusive images from Dark Knight 3 on HowardStern.com. Howard said you can view all 47 custom covers on the site. Howard said Frank Miller is releasing more Dark Knight comics and now it's coming out. He said DC is releasing 47 covers and they have them all. Howard said they come out on November 25th. Howard said he's been talking about a special prize for the listeners. He said that he can't mention it yet though. Howard said Ralph is like 60 and he's going crazy for that.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said he wants a Flat Ronnie. Howard said he will give him one. Eric said he'll take it wherever he goes. Howard said if he's willing to take it everywhere he goes he'll give him one. Eric said he'll take him to the Museum of Modern Art. Howard said he'll get him one when they get them. Eric said he'll take him to his doctor's office too. He said he'll tape it to his walker. Howard said he's so fat he has a walker now.
Howard said Leslie West is calling in to promote his new album. Howard said he has a shit load of stuff to get to. Howard said Eric can use Flat Ronnie as his plate when he goes out to eat. Howard said he doesn't even have any to give away right now. Howard said he's taking Flat Ronnie to a massage parlor.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked if they can make a Flat JD too. Howard said he's sticking with just Ronnie. The caller said she'll start a movement herself then. Robin asked how they got Flat Ronnie to begin with. Howard said they were decorating the office and they had it made. JD said someone kept it in his office and he kind of liked it in there. JD said it went in the garbage and then it went to like 15 different offices before it came to his office. Howard said they have Chinese children making more Flat Ronnie's and they're getting them made cheaply. Ronnie asked how old the girls are that are making them. Howard told him to leave because he's getting creepy. Howard told him to learn how to read. Ronnie said no. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said in the top 5 guitarists of all time Leslie West is in there. Howard said he is a professional DJ so he knows what he's talking about. Howard said Eddie Van Halen, Hendrix... all of these guys. Howard said Leslie West is a great. He said that he's probably in the top 5 of all time. Leslie said maybe he is. He asked why he has to follow Flat Ronnie. Howard asked where he's living now. Leslie said he's in Englewood. Howard said he's one of the greatest guitar players in the world and he emails back and forth with him. He said if you told him he'd be doing that when he was a kid he wouldn't have believed it.
Leslie asked how many shows he has left there. Howard said it's like 4. He said he has more but he's only showing up for like 4. Leslie said they'll miss the show if he leaves. Howard said as of right now he's saying goodbye to the audience. Howard said he actually has 9 shows left. Howard said he's not worried. He said he can sit home.
Howard said Leslie has put out a new album for some reason. Robin asked why he'd say ''for some reason.'' Howard said he has Billy Gibbons on the album with him. He said he has Slash, Black Label Society and more. Leslie said that was on the last album. Howard said this is what his guys are telling him. Howard asked what kind of research department he has.
Howard gave the audience a lesson by playing Mountain's ''Mississippi Queen'' which came out in 1970. Leslie said he was clean back then.
Howard asked Leslie if he started getting tons of pussy after that album came out. Leslie said that's what he thought but that didn't happen. He said he met his wife a few years later. Leslie said that he gets a thrill every morning he sees her walking around the house in panties.
Howard asked how Leslie is doing with the one leg. Leslie lost one to diabetes. Leslie said that he went to Kessler and they put him on the parallel bars so he could try standing with his guitar. He said he lasted 30 seconds. He said then he was worrying about how he was going to play on stage. Howard said he should still practice walking with the leg. Leslie said you can do that but you can't take a shower with it. He said that his amputation was above the knee so that's the other problem. He said if it was below the knee it would be a different story.
Howard said he does a lot of sitting since he's doing radio. Leslie said he has to watch out for blood clots. Howard said he's right.
Howard gave Leslie a plug for the new album which is called ''Soundcheck''. Howard played another old song called ''Theme For An Imaginary Western.'' Howard talked about how Leslie wrote it for Cream and Eric Clapton didn't want it. Howard said it's such a great song. Leslie said it was about Cream going on the road. Leslie said they played that at Woodstock. Howard said some manager told them not to be in the Woodstock movie. Leslie said that's not exactly what happened. He said he's sure it was negotiations about money.
Howard said that Jack Bruce died. Howard asked how he's doing with that. Leslie said he and Jack did a recording about 15 years ago and he still has it. He said it hit him hard with Jack. He said they were going to get back together but his wife didn't want to have it. He said it's very sad. Leslie said that he played with Peter Frampton not long ago and he was talking about how both of their managers and their agent is dead. He said Peter said that they can't take their money now. Leslie said he's really talented.
Howard said Peter Frampton gets a bad rap but he's really talented. Howard said you go back to his first album and it's great stuff. He said he was a good musician. Leslie said Frampton Comes Alive was one of the biggest sellers of all time. He said it was a live album too so that's even crazier.
Howard played more Mountain songs like ''Never In My Life''. He said that's a great one too. Howard said another one is ''Yasgur's Farm.'' He played ''Don't Look Around'' too. Howard said they don't rock like this anymore. Leslie said that one was in Pineapple Express. Howard said he's right. Howard played a few more examples of Mountain's stuff.
Howard said Leslie wrote and recorded a new album called ''Soundcheck'' and it's available on Friday. Howard said that he put a song on the album called ''Stern Warning'' and it's about him apparently. Leslie said Howard emailed him and asked about an instrumental song he did years ago. Leslie said his father used to use that term with him. Howard said he thought it was about him. Howard said it's not about him. Leslie said it is a reference to him. Howard said it's really not about him. Leslie said it is an instrumental so it's hard to say it's about him. Howard played some of that song. Howard said he wishes he could play like that but he doesn't want to put in the work.
Leslie said he thinks that Fred is one of the most talented guitar players out there. Howard asked if he's good enough to take him out on the road. Leslie said sure. He said that he opened a show for them. Howard asked why Fred didn't play with him. Leslie said he did play with him at the Fantasy Camp. He said this summer Joe Satriani did a tour that he did with him. He said that Joe has a guitar camp that he may do. He said Joe is one of the best guitar players out there. He said he is a Long Island boy too. He said he just does instrumentals and he keeps the audience.
Howard played some of Leslie's cover of ''You are My Sunshine'' from the new album. He did that with Peter Frampton. Howard said it's good. He said he made it sound sad. Robin said that it's supposed to be happy. Howard said it's not cool if it's happy. Howard said Leslie can still sing. He said he's getting older but he can still do it. Howard lost Leslie somehow. His line was still up but Gary said he just called back saying the power went out at his house.
Howard got Leslie back on the line and he said he's right on the golf course and he lost power due to a lightning strike or something.
Howard said he loves Leslie. Howard said he was his band leader on his FOX pilot. Howard said he did that back before they were doing that on late night shows. Leslie said he became one of the most sampled rock acts. He said he's in Jay Z's 99 Problems. Howard played some of that song. Howard asked if he gets residuals. Leslie said he's also on a Kanye West song. He said that they write great lyrics and they use his music. Howard said the black man appreciates his work.
Leslie said he's also the voice of That Metal Show. Leslie said that Howard asked him if he stutters. He said he used to do that stutter thing for That Metal Show. Howard said Leslie contacted him about that show and he wanted to do something funny with it. Howard said he does a great Porky Pig so he told him to do that. Leslie said they put him on the show and now they say that he's the announcer and Howard Stern is listed as the announcer advisor.
Howard told Leslie to do his Porky Pig thing. Leslie did it and said he used to do that when Stuttering John was on the show. Howard gave Leslie some plugs for his book signings and stuff.
Howard said Leslie has a clinic he does for guitar players. Fred said that he has been to them and people show up to show off what they know but you're supposed to just watch Leslie.
Leslie said that the interview with Bree Olson was great yesterday. He said he blew his mind with that. Howard wished Leslie luck with the new album and let him go a short time later. Howard said Leslie is so great. Howard said he's not like all of these pussies out there today.
Howard played some more Mountain and said that was the Leslie West segment of the show. Robin said he's playing sitting down now. Howard said he lost his leg to diabetes and he can't stand. Howard said 25 years ago he thought he'd be dead within 5 years. He said he's still going strong though.
Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who asked if he saw Kimberly Guilfoyle on The Five yesterday. Howard said he has seen her. Howard said if you cross her she'll yell at you like a mom yells at you. Tommy asked if he knows how old she is. Howard didn't know. Tommy said she's 46. Howard said she looks good for 46.
Howard said he wouldn't even argue with her. He said she's too smart. Howard said she has that legal mind. He said he'd just tell her to take off her bra. He said he'd bang her from behind and play with her nips. Howard said a lot of guys get caught up in the arguing. Tommy said that's right. He said you just shut up.
Tommy asked if Beth would give him a pass on her. Howard said he's not looking to do that. Howard said if he was single though he would pick up the phone and ask her out. Howard said he would do that if he wasn't married. Howard said he'd hit on her and tell Gary to get her number for him. Howard said Gary does all the hard work. Howard said he'd take her to his apartment and have dinner and then bang her there.
Tommy said he wanted to get on a serious note and ask about the refugees. Howard said he'd bang some refugees too. Tommy said he loves how Kimberly rocks her leg back and forth. Robin said no one even knows what he's talking about. Howard said this Kimberly Guilfoyle shows off her legs. He said that everyone knows what's going on. He said he can't believe there isn't a guy banging her. Robin said maybe there is. Howard said she says she's single.
Howard asked Ben about how he deals with illegal immigrants. Ben said he wants to build pyramids to keep them in. He said that Trump wants to keep them out but he wants to keep them in.
Ben talked about how he would handle things if he where president. He said he'd get ISIS together and sit them down and talk very slowly. He said once they were asleep he'd kill them. He took credit for shooting 50 Cent 9 times. He also said he took him into the E.R. and saved his life.
Howard asked Ben about Jeb Bush going back in time and killing Hitler as a baby. Ben said he actually created a time machine and killed Hitler's son Ralph. He said that humanity owes him a debt that will never be paid.
Howard asked if Ben thinks he can beat Hillary Clinton. Ben said that he beat Lincoln Chaffe and who saw that coming? Howard said that Ben is opposed to gay marriage too. Ben said that if a man was meant to have a penis in their butthole god never told him. Ben said that he has had many conversations with God and he never mentioned it to him. Howard let Ben go a short time later. Ben sang the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody as he was going.
Howard said that the Bree Olson and Charlie Sheen story is all over the news. Howard said there is a whole hornets nest that's coming from this. Howard said they asked Charlie to come on the show but he won't come in. Howard said Gary had a conversation with him about it. Gary said he didn't say no. He just said he'd see how things shake out and talk in a couple of weeks.
Howard said they had each of their staff members call a gay sex line and have phone sex. Howard said at some point Andy Cohen is going to crown the best gay phone sex guy there. Howard said there will be some surprises in there. They went to break after that.
Andy said Howard is forgetting that he's a power top. Howard said that's right. He said he'll rip a guy's ass open. He said he uses a condom of course. Howard ran down a list of another gay guys Andy beat out. Howard said he beat out George Takei too. Andy said he's impressed and he'll take that.
Howard said he invited Andy there to judge a gay phone sex contest they had the staff compete in. Howard said he wants him to listen to everyone and name the top gay phone sex person. Andy said okay to that. Howard said he will remind him that the loser has to blow Flat Ronnie. Howard said they'll take a picture of that person and post it on the internet. Andy said he thinks the loser should have to stick a finger up Benjy's ass. Howard said now he's gone too far. He said they won't be doing that.
Howard said the first contestant in the contest is JD. Howard said they didn't coach anyone. He played the call where JD talked to a guy named Bob and tried to have phone sex with him. JD laughed as Bob was telling him what he wanted. JD tried to talk dirty but he kept laughing. Bob said he wanted him to tear up his asshole. JD laughed and bailed out on the contest a short time later.
Andy said his penis went inside him. He said it was almost homophobic to him. He said that he isn't sure why he expected more. Howard said JD could have played along with it but he was so embarrassed. Howard said he could have been an actor and done it. JD said he can't do prank calls because he starts laughing. He said that's why he couldn't do it. Howard said he thinks Andy is right and he hopes he loses so he has to blow Flat Ronnie. JD said he never heard there were rules. He didn't know there was going to be a loser. Andy said all he had to do was talk about his dick. JD said he didn't want to talk about his dick at the time.
Howard said next up is Ronnie the Limo Driver. Andy said this should be good. Howard played the clip and Ronnie had his sexy voice on. Ronnie was talking about licking the guy's asshole and spitting in there and then spitting on his dick and rubbing around the piss hole. Then he was talking about making him cum right in his hand. Then he had him lick it out of his hand. Howard asked Andy if that was good. Andy said that is so good. He said he loves that Ronnie was in control and he was talking about rubbing around the hole where you piss. Howard said he did a good job with that. Andy said he loves it that he said ''And guess what now baby...'' Andy said that Ronnie even sent him off with a sweet goodbye. Howard asked if he was erect at all. Andy said he wasn't but that was very good.
Howard said next up is Scott the Engineer. Andy asked if he's kind of kinky. Howard said he thinks that he might be. Howard played the clip and Scott spoke to Steve who said he had a fantasy about a camping trip. Scott was rubbing oil on the guy's cock and taint. He asked if he loves things in his ass because he can split him wide open with his huge cock. Scott had the guy cumming all over his body. Howard said he has to give Scott a round of applause. Howard said Scott told them that he used to swing. Howard said he never saw it before but listen to him go on the gay sex line. Andy said he liked his huffing and puffing. Howard said Scott has COPD so that's what that was. Howard said he's not joking about that either. Andy said he has to say that rubbing a taint isn't something that people want. He said he was being inventive though. He was better than JD but not up to the level of Ronnie. He said he appreciates his effort.
Howard said next up was Richard Christy. Andy said this he's excited about. Howard played that clip and Richard got into it talking about his creamy loads with chunks in it. The guy said he's dropping fucking loads and Richard said he wants it right in his asshole. He said that he wants it to drip down his ass. Howard said that was an award winning performance if he's ever heard one. Andy said he has a little soft spot for Richard. He said he loves his voice. He said he liked when he said ''creamy load with chunks in it like tapioca pudding.'' He said he enjoyed that one. Howard asked if he's ever had a load like that. Andy said no but it's something to aspire to. Howard said he needs a second to vomit before moving on.
Howard said next up is Memet but no one cares about Memet. Howard said he's new to the show. He said he's going to skip him. Robin said he did it so why not play it. Howard said he'd rather have a random person on the street do it. Howard played the clip anyway. In that one Memet was talking about how he wanted to be treated like a little whore. The guy on the phone was spitting on his face and calling him his bitch. The guy had him licking piss off him and things like that. Memet said he made a mask out of his jizz. Howard asked if gay sex is always so angry. Andy just said ''Wow.' he said he doesn't know Memet but he likes his attitude. Howard said Memet is like a lamb ready for slaughter. Andy said that he set this up for Memet not being on the show but he thinks he took this one to the next level. He made a mask out of jizz. He said it made him feel like he's done this before. Howard said that Memet is a good looking dude. Howard said he has a very sweet face too. Andy asked if he's really 28. Howard said he is.
Howard asked Memet if he's into gay sex at all. Memet came in and said he didn't want to do this. He said he was just trying to be a team player. Howard asked if he'd blow Andy Cohen. Memet said if he can get him out of his neighborhood he would. Memet said that everyone was being the dominant so he just went with it the way he did. Howard said no one cares about him but he did a good job. Howard said he saved himself from the humiliation of blowing Flat Ronnie.
Howard said they still don't know if Ronnie got beaten by Memet. Howard said the last person on the list of judging is Jason. Andy asked if he's a dirty guy. Howard said he's not really. He said he is fat and disgusting though. Howard played the clip of Jason talking to the guy and Jason took control and told the guy to suck on his head harder. He had his balls banging against his chin. He said that he has to worship his master's cock. The guy took it and Jason called him a pathetic cunt as he finished. Andy said his feeling is that this was straight porn. He said you could take the voice out and that is kind of him dominating a woman. He said he did a good job but it's just what he's seen in straight porn.
Howard said it's time to judge. He asked who was the best and who was the worst. Andy said JD was the worst. He said he'll incur the punishment. He said his top 3 are Richard at 3, Memet at number 2 and Ronnie is at number 1. Howard said JD has to take a picture of himself blowing flat Ronnie. Howard said Andy is the best. He let him go after giving him some plugs for his show which is on channel 102 at SiriusXM. Howard let him go but he stayed on the line listening to Howard singing a Miss America song parody.
Howard said he loves that Scott was forgotten again. Howard said he didn't even get an honorable mention. Howard said JD can't do anything right. JD said that there were people who said they were going to do it and didn't even do it. He said Gary and Sal didn't do it. Howard asked why Sal didn't do it. JD said if he did it he didn't turn himself in. Howard said that is weird. He said he thought Gary was a team player. Gary said it got weird. He said no one had done it and then they were asking him to do it. He thought he was going to be the only one. Gary said it would be weird to call Harrison Ford's publicist after doing something like that.
Howard said he has to take a break. Robin asked if they're going to have a speech from Ronnie. Howard said he doesn't think anyone cares. He had him come in anyway. Ronnie came in and said he is a team player. He said it's his 30th anniversary of working for Howard. Howard said he didn't know that. Ronnie said he told him. Howard said 30 years ago someone hired Ronnie to drive him. He said that he wrote him a crazed letter about how he wanted to be his limo driver and it was in Crayon. Ronnie said it wasn't in Crayon. Howard said when they got to K-Rock they said they'd get him a limo and Ronnie was the cheapest so they hired him. He said that he told his agent that he wasn't going to hire him based on that letter he sent. Howard said his agent told him he had the best price so they went with him.
Howard said Ronnie's girlfriend is 32 years old so she was just 2 when he started driving for him. Ronnie laughed and said that's right. Howard congratulated him on the best gay phone sex win. Howard asked what Andy said about his win. Ronnie said he liked how he was talking about rubbing around his hole. He also liked how he said ''goodbye sweetheart.'' Ronnie said that Scott was good too. Howard said he was finally good at something. Howard let Ronnie go after that. Howard said JD has to blow Flat Ronnie. JD said he's going to Photoshop it. Howard said he has to take his punishment. They went to break a short time later.
Robin said she has fantasized about singing. Robin said that if she is singing rock or ope she's going to dress for it. Howard said she could open with the French national anthem. Howard played Robin singing that. Then she breaks into ''Hello'' and he played some of that. Howard said he would go see that. Howard said then she could go through the songs of the day. Howard said then they see how long it takes for the whole crowd to empty out. Howard said she could have friends come up and sing with her. He said Tan Mom could come up and do that. Howard said he's not kidding with this. He said that they could have Robin Twerk. He said that they would have back up dancers carrying her around the stage.
Howard asked Robin if she would do the Stones. Robin said it's all of the Diva stuff. Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey kind of songs. Howard said she could do Purple Rain with Medicated Pete. Robin said they can do a duet. Howard said then they could do her biggest song yet and half the crowd has already left. Howard said everyone waits for her to do ''I will Always Love You.'' Howard played her singing that song.
Howard asked how he contracted HIV. Charlie said that it's from sleeping on JD's sheets. He asked Robin if she wants to play Charlie Roulette. He added his new phrase which was ''Jizzing!'' He said his other phrase was ''Winning'' and started to cough halfway thorough the word.
Howard asked Charlie if he's still wild. Charlie said you bet your ass he is. Charlie said there are so many hot goddesses in there. He kept coughing. He said they're all from an HIV clinic. Charlie let out another cough and gag. Howard asked if he has been in touch with his family. Charlie said he has and he told his brother to jump on the HIV bandwagon because his whole career has AIDS. Charlie was coughing and gagging again.
Howard asked Charlie if he thinks he's going to stay healthy like Magic Johnson. Charlie said his HIV can kick Magic's HIV's ass.
Howard thanked Charlie for his time. Charlie said he's going to be cast as the next Bachelor. He said he has to get going anyway. Howard let him go after that. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about what they learned in that interview. Howard said he was hard to understand. Robin told Howard some of the stuff Charlie was saying.
Robin said she's surprised that he didn't ask Charlie about bisexuality. Howard said there was something in the news about that but they were just asking him about it. Robin said there was a madam who claimed that he used to ask for transgender pre-op people. It wasn't clear if he was asking for himself or for someone else. Howard said Bree was talking about how they had sex every day. Howard said that's wild.
Howard had to let the caller go because the phone connection was so bad. He said they don't have any good phone lines. Howard said Charlie Sheen's manager was saying that Charlie found out he was HIV positive after he broke up with Bree. Robin said he could have been positive before they ended it though. She said that he owed her a call at least.
Howard said he has a clip of Big Foot calling into a sex show. Howard said they rapidly get rid of Big Foot even though he was talking about sex. Howard played the call that Chris Wilding made using Big Foot clips. Big foot was asking about how long he should cook his turkey before he sticks his dick in it. The hosts quickly hung up on him. Big Foot called back a short time later and they hung up on him again when he was talking about fucking the turkey again.
Howard said they had the Wack Pack put together the story of Thanksgiving. Howard said they have various members of the Wack Pack talking about this. Howard said they have Underdog Lady, Riley Martin, Elephant Boy, High Pitch Eric, Asian Pete, Medicated Pete, Beetlejuice and more. Howard played the bit where they all talked about how Thanksgiving got started.
Howard said that's how the Wack Pack relates to Thanksgiving. Howard asked Robin who her favorite was. Robin said she had to laugh when Underdog Lady was on. Robin said she was thinking about how someone said Tan Mom was the greatest Wack Packer but she thinks it's Underdog.
Howard said speaking of Tan Mom they asked her what she's thankful for on Thanksgiving. Howard played her talking about her kids and the people at the Stern Show. She didn't mention her husband. Shuli pointed that out in the clip and Tan Mom just said ''That's right'' and laughed.
Howard said Tan Mom was in the city yesterday and she's really fixated on Sal. Howard said Sal is getting freaked out by her. Gary said Sal has fallen out of love and now he's afraid. Howard said that they put JD on the phone to tell Tan Mom that Sal wasn't coming down to hang out with her. Howard played a clip of JD telling her that Sal is very busy with work and he can't come down. Tan Mom was asking if he can come down because she wants to talk to him. Tan Mom said she's right downstairs. JD said Sal is working on stuff for the next show. Tan Mom told him to tell Sal to go fuck himself.
Howard said Tan Mom was crying when she called in. Gary said it was one of the guys who works there who took that call. Gary said she was crying because Sal wasn't taking her call. He said all of her calls are looking for Sal. He said that she called Shuli's cell phone and got mad when he wasn't able to transfer the call.
Howard said Sal is saying that he just wants to move on. Gary said the guy who answered the call when she was crying said she was already crying.
Sal came in and said that he has to end things with her. He said that he loves the lady but he keeps saying no to her and she won't leave him alone. Howard asked if he's complimented in a way. Sal said of course he is. He said he thinks from now on he's going to tell her no. He said that he can't lead her on. He said she's crying her eyes out over him. Sal said she's texting Shuli nude photos to send to him. Sal said he does look at them to see what's going on there. He said she has her boobs out and things like that. Sal said that she was pissed thinking that he was blowing Richard. He said that maybe they can have a dating game for her to find her another man. Howard said this is like retarded ''Fatal Attraction.''
Gary came in with the pictures of Tan Mom. Howard checked them out. Howard said she's got big tits. Howard said that could be Sal's. Sal said ''no comment.'' Sal said Howard is the voice of reason so maybe he can straighten her out. Howard asked what he wants him to say. Sal said that he just wants it to be perfectly clear that he can't have her there standing outside crying. Howard said he'll tell her it's over. He said he'll tell her that Sal can't deal with her. Sal said she has great content for the show but it's hard to work with her.
Howard said that Sal got what he was asking for. Sal said they have all complimented women in the past. He said Jillian Barberie isn't stalking Howard even though he's said nice things about her. Howard said that Sal has to stop looking so handsome for Tan Mom. Sal said his hair is falling out. He said that he stopped the Rogaine and it started falling out. Howard said he has a full head of hair. Sal said it's getting thin. He showed Howard. Howard said it's not bad. Sal said he might put some seeds n there to plump it up. Robin said that would turn Tan Mom on even more.
Howard had Tan Mom on the phone. Howard picked up and told her that she has to understand what he's about to say. It was actually Shuli doing his Tan Mom impression. Howard told Tan Mom that Sal is not available to speak to her. Tan Mom said that she wants to talk to Sal. Tan Mom was crying over Sal and Sal said he's not available. Tan Mom asked why he has to be so mean. Sal said he's not mean. He said he's married. Tan Mom asked where Sal is. Howard said that is Sal. Tan Mom said hi to him. Howard said that's Howard and Sal. Tan Mom asked why he's being such a jerk to him. Sal said he's trying to get his work done up there. Sal said she has to move on. Tan Mom asked when this all changed. Howard said he has to make phony phone calls. Tan Mom asked what kind of work that is. Howard said it's not even Tan Mom on the phone but he's having so much fun with it. Howard asked who that is. Tan Mom said she can't wait to rip the hair plugs out of his head. Howard asked if it's Shuli. Tan Mom asked who Shuli is. He broke out of character a few seconds later. Howard said it was freaking him out.
Howard said Sal no longer wants her side meat. Tan Mom said she finds that hard to believe. She said she feels sorry for Sal. Howard asked if Tan Mom is confused. Tan Mom said she knows what she wants and that's to share makeup with Sal. She said she's fingering herself right now. She said she has her whole fist in there. Howard asked what he would do to Sal. Tan Mom asked him not to go bald because she will leave him. Howard let Shuli go after that.
Gary said he has a tweet from the real Tan Mom. He read it to Howard. He said she's saying that it's enough and Sal is married so it's over. Sal said she called crying and telling him to fuck off and now she's back to being friends. Howard said Sal is so Wack Pack himself. Sal said whatever... Howard told him to go have sex with his wife. Sal said he does.
Howard said Shuli's Tan Mom is great. Howard said he knew it was a fake one but he didn't know who was doing it. Howard said it's really good.
Howard played the clip of the pastor talking about going to a death metal concert and how of course you're going to get killed. Howard did an impression of the guy talking about all of the stuff he was going nuts over. Howard said this guy has a little bit of a lisp. He said he's wondering. Howard changed his impression to make the guy speak with even more of a lisp.
Howard said this guy is out of control. He played more clips of the guy talking about how The Eagles of Death Metal and how they all look like sodomite freaks. Howard said the band isn't death metal. He said they're a rock band. Howard played more audio and the guy said that France is the most accepting of gays and that's a sin nation so of course they were attacked. The guy was getting all worked up and yelling about why this happened in Paris. Howard's impression of the pastor went from a regular voice to a very effeminate one.
Howard said that Katy Perry's parents are walking around somewhere and this woman goes up to them and starts ranting about Katy being one of the most wicked people. She said that she's led millions of people to hell. Howard said she should shut up. Howard said people who are into religion are know it alls. Howard said that Katy's dad doesn't have to do anything. The woman was going on and on about how awful Katy is. Her dad asked the woman if she feels she's acting Christian right now. The woman said her son watches Katy's videos and that's going to send him to hell. She was telling the dad that in one video Katy is having sex with demons and she's evil. Howard said that these nuts are on fire telling people what to do. Robin pointed out that the woman is blaming Katy's parents for her behavior but she's not taking responsibility for her own son's behavior.
Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break. Howard said if he does another deal with Sirius he wants to record these things ahead of time. He said it is pretty nutty. Howard said he needs to rest a little during the show.
Howard said that was great. Howard said they asked High Pitch Eric to record a Thanksgiving day tip. Howard said this is Eric's thought for Thanksgiving. Eric said if you find yourself shitting blood don't freak out because it might just be the cranberries. Eric said anyone who eats fruit on Thanksgiving is a dupe. Howard said that's so disgusting.
Howard took a call from a guy who was down in Florida. Howard asked what the temperature is down there. The guy corrected him on his name first. Howard thought it was Aiden but it's Adis. Howard asked who cares. The guy said he's from Yugoslavia. Howard said he doesn't know anything about that. Howard asked what he can do for him. Adis asked about when he has porn stars in does he put any of their movies in when he watches porn. Howard said he does. He said he put in Bree Olson last night but wasn't able to find anything. He said he jerked off to fake agent porn instead. The caller said he loves Bree. He said he just watched some of her's last night. Howard said his accent is scary. He said Trump would throw him right out. Howard said he really has to go ''Disease''. He hung up on the guy after that.
Howard said a lot of people liked the ISIS hotline thing he did yesterday. He said he's not doing it again today. He said it took a lot of energy. Howard said he has some of the email about it. Howard read about P.F. Sloan dying. Howard said he didn't really care that much. He said he's sorry to see he's gone but he didn't care. Howard played some of his music and talked about his songs.
Howard said they got an email from a very prominent rock promoter who said he will book Robin at the Beacon. Howard said that they think that they can fill it. Gary said he thinks he can get $90 a ticket and a $750 VIP ticket. Gary said that's what this guy does and he thinks it would work.
Howard said he had one other thing he wanted to play but he's trying to remember what it was. Howard played another High Pitch Eric Thanksgiving tip. In that one Eric said you can take a TV tray into the bathroom with you if you have to shit during Thanksgiving.
Howard read some email about Robin's singing. He ended up playing some of Robin singing and had Big Foot singing ''Hello'' too. He had fake Ben Carson singing it too. Howard read more positive email from the fans who love Robin's singing. Someone said that Robin should sing every song on the show. Even when rock stars come in she has to be featured.
Howard said he got more email about the ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' song parody. Howard had some feedback about Bree Olson's interview. Howard said people were angry at Charlie Sheen. Robin said that they're calling Bree a liar in the news but she was saying that he never told her about the AIDS. Gary said they're saying he found out about it after they had already broken up. Gary said Bree didn't know that. Gary said that's right. Robin said Bree isn't a liar, Charlie just never told her anything.
Howard read through more email about the Bree Olson interview and there was a lot of positive feedback about it. Howard read a bunch of other mail about things that were happening this week on the show. He had a lot of positive stuff about his ISIS Hotline bit yesterday. Howard said he's not sure if he'll ever do that again. He started to do the voice and said he was coming up with some last night but he doesn't remember what it was.
Howard had his mother asking him about the game and she tells him about going out shopping and asked some girls who were out if they know the game Casino. Howard said he told his mom that they probably went on the internet to find out. Howard said his mom said the girls told her that they don't play Casino, they go to the Casino. He had her laugh. Howard said you'd think this was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Howard said that she goes on to tell him that these girls found out how to play Casino and wrote down the rules for her. Howard said he could have done that for her. Howard said she was so impressed by these two girls who helped her out. Howard said he can do it too. He said that she calls it ''the machine'' and she's so impressed by it. Howard said that she thought that line about going to the casino was so funny.
Howard said if he showed his parents Siri it would blow their minds. Robin told Howard to ask Siri about the game Casino. Howard said she'd know. Howard said of course she'd know. Howard said she'd send him to a web site to read the rules.
Howard said these girls are working at a mall and they're not that smart. Howard said he's just as smart with a computer in his hand. Howard said he doesn't want to get to that age when he's not hip to a computer. He did a live commercial read after that.
Howard came back from the commercial read and talked about his old boss Sy who used to speak to him in a strange way. He did an impression of the guy talking to him. He said the guy as fucking wild. He said he's shocked he didn't have a nervous breakdown himself. Howard said if you can get through his career and not have a nervous breakdown that's a miracle. He said you need a lot of strength. Howard said he has that inner strength. Howard said Sy used to lecture him when he'd get a hold of him. He said he loved the morning guy before him and he always said that guy was better than him. Howard said it may have been Dave Scott. Howard said Sy wasn't the worst. He said Goff Labar was tough to work for. Howard said he was tough and the guys at NBC were tough. Howard said he's not sure how he didn't have a nervous breakdown there. Robin said she thinks she did. She said that she was suffering from insomnia and things. She said she would go around the house thinking about how to kill people. She said they did her in.
Howard said he remembers Robin wanted to kill a particular person. Robin said she did have fantasies about that. Howard said she had a breakdown. Robin said that was no fun.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone telling him that Charlie Sheen has HIV and not AIDS. Howard said they know that. Howard took the call and the guy said that he and his husband have adored Howard for 30 years. He said that it makes Howard sound less intelligent when he says AIDS. Howard said he knows it's HIV. The caller said there is a big difference. He said that you can take one pill a day now and you're practically HIV free. Howard said god bless medical science. Howard said people think God is going to make everything okay but it's the medicine that does it. Howard let the caller go and told him to go blow his husband.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a pastor at a church in Philadelphia and he thinks a lot of what Howard says makes a lot of sense. He said that if people had more of a culture like the show more people would show up at church. Howard said religion can be a good thing. He said it doesn't have to be so fucked up that people just hate. Robin asked why so many religious people are so angry. Howard said they all want to go out and be mean. The caller said what they do on Hoard's show is talk about their limitations and they demystify them. He said they can do lots of things from there. Howard said he's bored and he really is a preacher. Howard said he's not that fun. Howard said he can't listen to that guy drone on. Howard hung up on him. Howard said some of these religious guys at least put on a good show. He said they might be nuts but they're fun.
Howard took a call from someone named Ranell. Howard asked what's up with that name. The caller said he called to talk about Craig Ferguson and Celebrity Name Game. Howard said he doesn't watch that. The caller said he heard it was one of his favorite shows. It's not. Howard said he has to get off the phone with this guy. He said he's having a nervous breakdown from him.
Robin started off talking about Charlie Sheen and his HIV revelation. Robin said that programs are talking about the differences between HIV and AIDS. Robin had some audio clips of some people talking about that.
Howard took a call from Gay Ramone and asked if he has HIV. Ramone said he is negative. Ramone asked if he can have some gay phone sex. Howard wasn't going to play along. Ramone was getting weird with him. Ramone said he's been on hold for 2 hours. Howard said he's had enough of his call. Ramone told him to hold on but Howard hung up saying he was creeping him out.
Robin read more about the HIV thing and how doctors are saying you can't get it from just hanging around with people who are infected. Robin had more audio clips.
Robin read a story about how there is a drug called Prep that Charlie may have been talking about. Robin said that it's a drug that you take if you're going to be exposed to HIV and it may protect you from it. Howard said he's not sure why anyone would do that. Robin said Charlie may have had the girls he had bareback sex with taking something like that.
Robin said they are saying in the paper that women who had sex with Charlie say they weren't told he had HIV. Howard said that's going to be trouble.
Robin read about the People Magazine Sexiest Man title being given to David Beckham. Robin said he's a 40 year old former soccer star. Howard said he is a good looking dude. Howard said he saw him in L.A. a couple of years ago running around the pool. He said he was wearing a wool cap there and he wished he could look that cool. Howard said he later found out it was him. Robin had some audio of Beckham talking to Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said he wishes he was that good looking. He said his life would have been so much easier. Howard said on his best day he can kind of look like Bradley Cooper on his worst day. Howard said his wife is so good looking she doesn't have to work hard to get attention. Robin said maybe she doesn't want that attention. Howard said he does.
Howard said Benjy thinks he's as good looking as Bradley Cooper. Howard said he almost buys into it. Benjy said he thinks Howard has a great face too. Benjy said he doesn't see it but people tell him that Fred is super handsome. Howard said the more hair Benjy grows on his face the better looking he gets. Howard said Ronnie did a fresh dye job on his hair yesterday. He said Benjy dyes his beard. Howard said when he does it freshly it looks really wild. Benjy said he's seen that. Howard said of course he has. Howard said he thinks that Benjy is putting dye in the bald spots. Benjy said it's consistent hair. He said he just has different colors. Howard said some people think Benjy has facial dandruff that flakes off into his beard. Benjy thanked him for making him feel better. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read some updates on the Paris attacks and the raids that took place outside of Paris early this morning. Robin said that at least 3 people have been killed including a female suicide bomber. Robin said there has been no word on the raid's main target. That led to Howard doing a minute of his ISIS Hotline character even though he said he wasn't going to do it again. Howard had a guy asking what kind of lube to use to shove a bomb up his ass. ISIS Hotline suggested using Humus.
Robin read a story about ISIS warning members about cyber attacks from the Anonymous group. Robin said Anonymous has said they're turning their attention to ISIS. Howard was still doing his ISIS Hotline character and took a call from Ray Stern who was asking for the rules to Casino. Robin said Anonymous is planning a big attack on ISIS. Howard was taking more calls for the ISIS Hotline. Howard had one guy call in saying one of his virgins in heaven looks like JD. Another caller said he just killed two Jews and wanted to make lamp shades out of their skin. The ISIS guy told him that's a Nazi thing so he had to call a different number.
Robin read about how Anonymous claims that they took down 5500 ISIS Twitter accounts. She said that ISIS is telling their members to use VPNs from now on. Howard kept his ISIS Hotline guy going for a few more minutes.
Robin read a story about how more than 2000 people on the FBI watch list were able to legally purchase guns in 2014. Robin said that they are legally allowed to do that. Howard said he didn't even understand the story. He said he's trying to recover from that bit he just did. Howard said he's starting to come back from it now. Howard said he hears that phone ring and he breaks right into it. He started doing the voice again. Howard asked where Fred got that phone ringing sound. He said it's ancient. Robin said she thinks they've been using it since the 80s.
Robin said John McCain has spoken out about the President's stance on ISIS. Howard said he met that guy. He said he thinks he spoke to his wife too. Howard said he thinks that McCain liked him too. He said that's something he should remember but he's not sure if he did meet his wife. Howard said Beth thinks something is wrong with him when he can't remember something like that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about Bobby Jindal dropping out of the presidential race. Robin said that Donald Trump has been talking about Syrian refugees and what he thinks about letting them into the United States. Robin read about who's in front in the polls too.
Robin read a story about St. Louis being in the top of the list for HIV cases. Howard said he was reading about Krysten Ritter in the news. He said he wondered if she was John Ritter's daughter. The guys told him she's not.
Robin read about how some people are against taking in refugees in this country. Howard said if ISIS or ISIL are sneaking into the country we have to stop letting them in. Howard said we have to think this thing through. Robin said these people should just have to be naked to get into the country. Robin said this is the only way to make sure they're not carrying anything. That led to Howard getting into his ISIS Hotline guy character again. He fielded a couple more calls from people asking crazy questions. Robin called asking how he got so well versed in terrorism. Howard's character had an explanation about going on ''the machine'' to search for it. Howard said he's not doing this character anymore after they get back from vacation.
Robin read about the new Hunger Games movie and had some audio of Jennifer Lawrence talking about her character. Howard said he really doesn't care.
Robin read a story about Willie Nelson winning the Library of Congress Gershwin Award. Robin said he's accepting that today in Washington DC. Robin said the special will air in January on PBS. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon said that they don't have a poll today but maybe Julian can give them some poll music. Julian played some and Rahsaan was throwing in some words to go along with it. Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show after that.
Jon said that he has to say that the winner today was Scott Salem in that gay phone sex thing. He said that Scott was committed and inventive. He said Scott got his vote. Rahsaan said Ronnie got his vote. He said the whole segment was hilarious. He said even JD laughing was great. He said everyone was a winner.
Jon said the most exciting announcement was the potential concert with Robin at the Beacon Theater. He asked if Julian would pay to see that. Julian asked how long it is. He said if it's 10 minutes he'd do it. If it's an hour he probably wouldn't.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks the idea is a slam dunk. He said they'd sell out the theater in a hour. Jon said Julian had a good point about how long it will be. He asked if people are going to sit through an hour or two. The caller said it's a matter of hearing all of the hits. He said she has to do the songs they know. He said he thinks there are enough hits there for 10-12 songs. He said he thinks that the crowd would go wild.
Jon said that people were also excited about the Flat Ronnie thing. He explained what Flat Stanley is and how Howard came up with Flat Ronnie and how people can take him around to take pictures with him. Jon said that it's life size and you can take it around with you. He said that Flat Ronnie has been around there for a long time. Rahsaan said he has seen it for years and it was getting a second life today. He said he knew exactly what he was talking about but he hadn't seen it in a while.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that song ''I'll Suck Your Ween'' has destroyed his life. He said he has a 4 year old in the car with him and he'll start to sing it and people will look at him like he's nuts. He said the song is a loop in his head. He said he's 47 and has two kids. He said the kids aren't singing it yet but he is listening for it. They went to break a short time later. Julian played them out to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he liked the gay call contest today. He asked Jon and Gary how they would have played it on the phone. Jon said Sal gave Gary a lot of crap for not doing it because it was his bit. Gary said he was asked to do it a lot of times and he was going to be the first. He said there was no way he was going to be the first. He said one time they did a thing where they were going to take pictures of their balls and Billy West went first but then they canceled the whole thing. Billy was the only one who took a picture. Gary said he didn't want to be that guy. Gary said Sal said he had a conflict of interest going on so that's why he didn't do it.
Jon said that Andy Cohen was a great judge. He said he thought JD was almost homophobic in not doing it. Jon said if it wasn't going to be broadcast it would have been better. Gary said JD laughs a lot when he doesn't know what to do.
The guys talked about how good Ronnie and Scott were doing their calls. Jon said Scott was his favorite. Jon said that Andy put Richard in the top 3 and he's just a big fan of Richard's so that might be why he ended up in there.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she can stand anything on the show except for Ronnie. She said she has to turn the channel when he's on. She said that he makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up on end. Gary asked if he has won her over in any way. She said not at all.
Julian played some creepy music for Ronnie while they were talking about that. Jon asked what Ronnie can do to bring her back. The caller said based on the things that come out of his mouth she thinks that there has to be some really dark stuff down deep inside him. She said he's so repulsive that she wants to vomit.
Jon said with Ronnie the pronunciations didn't surprise him. He said he loved how Howard was excited about the Flat Ronnie thing. Gary said they need them immediately.
Jon said Sal sounds surprised that Tan Mom is into him. Gary said Sal is trying to get rid of a stalker and you can't say in the middle of talking about her that he's still attracted to her. He said all Tan Mom heard was him saying he's still attracted to her. Gary said Sal put the full court press on her and he didn't expect to get anything back from her. He said he broke the dam down and now she's all about him. Jon had Julian play them out to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the Robin concert idea is great. Jon said that he's not sure how that would work. Gary said he thinks they'd have to serve a shitload of alcohol. He said that they might need to have a group sing along and then shush people to hear Robin sing. Julian said he thinks that Robin could be moulded. He said there might be a real show in there if they worked on it.
Jon and Gary talked about some things they could do for the concert. Jon said he thinks Robin is excited about doing it. Gary said they could get a whole orchestra to work with her. He said it would be so awesome. Gary said he wants Robin to do all kinds of songs too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the phone sex hotline contest should have been won by Scott the Engineer. He said he should have won based on the fact that he can't even get out a line without taking a breath. Jon said he's with him on that. Gary said years of smoking has kept Scott from having gay sex.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought Richard should have won for the gay sex thing. Jon asked why. The caller said Richard is gay. Jon said Andy did like his call and he thinks that he has a thing for Richard. Gary said they have questioned whether Richard is gay or not. He said there was a period of time when he said it's not gay if it's funny. Gary said he thinks it's still gay but it's funny. Gary said there are some people who have blurred lines when it comes to that stuff.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she has had a crush on Jon for years. She said they had a poster of Jon on the wall in the studio that she loved. She recreated it and put it in her bedroom over her bed. She said her husband made her take it down. She said she has it at work now. She said that Jon even got her to like Gary. She said she used to think that he was a real prick in the past. She said Jon's loyalty for him made her change her mind. The caller said that she doesn't like Jon in sweaters. She said she has seen some pictures. Jon thanked her for the kind words. She let him go a short time later.
Jon said that's the one Jon Hein fan other than his wife. Jon said that has never happened to him before. He said it feels great though. Jon said he sees Rahsaan mocking him. Rahsaan said it was a great call.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thinks JD is underrated on the show. She said she loves hearing him. She said he's so honest and kind. She said she doesn't think he realizes what he says until it's too late. Gary said he thinks that JD underrates himself. He said they all dig hearing him on the air and he may not get how much the audience loves him. Jon said JD is on his way to growing up. He said that he's in a different place than he was a few years ago. Gary said he was a virgin who had never had alcohol when he came there. He said he's a good guy and a smart guy. He said people don't realize that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was crying laughing when he heard Howard on the roll with the ISIS Hotline thing. He said it was unbelievable. Gary said that knocks the shit out of Howard. He said they used to goof on the morning shows and Howard would do that impression and he'd be out of breath from it. He said it's exhausting. Jon said that Howard said he wasn't going to do that today but it was back just two stories into the news.
Jon wrapped up after getting in some plugs for Sternthology and for Julian. Gary told a story about how he ended up going with Howard to K-Rock after WNBC. Gary said he didn't go over right away. He said that Howard started his new show and he was left behind for a short time. Gary said he was making $125 a week and they kept bumping his money up while they waited for another show to start in Howard's spot. He said he may have gone all the way up to $300 before he left for Howard's show where he started at $325. Jon wrapped up and ended the show around 12:05pm.
Jon said that they were in the moment with that. He said it's usually after. Aaron said that you don't know if she's going to admit she has AIDS on the air or something. Colin said she made that whole trip from Indiana and if it was horrible news he's not sure she would have made that trip. Gary said that he thinks Bree really wanted as much time to talk about it as she could get. He said they didn't rush her and gave her that time. Jon said there are mixed feelings about Bree out there. Gary said he's dealt with a lot of adult actresses before. He said that it doesn't take away what she can do in her life. He said she has feelings and thoughts too. He said some people just write her off.
Jon said Bree told Howard that she could have come out and said something about Charlie in the past but she kept her mouth shut out of respect. Colin said she did that and Charlie didn't tell her. Jon said it's heartbreaking and you get pissed off when you find something out like that.
Gary said the weirdest thing she described was that Bree and the other Goddess were in the kitchen and Charlie would have other women coming into the house. Aaron said the other weird thing was that he was using lambskin condoms. He asked if this is the 1800s. Jon said he wanted to ask Ronnie about them. Gary said he tried them once in the 70s. He said there was a rumor they were better. Gary said they're not rolled up and you have to almost untangle them. He said they're not normal condoms. He said he tried it but gave up. Gary said that was a long time ago.
Jon asked Colin about his concern for High Pitch Eric about a year ago when he was on the show. Jon said Eric is in bad shape now and Colin is still worried. Colin said that he finds it funny that Howard suggested he take Flat Ronnie to a restaurant with him and Eric said he'd take a picture like that was a bonus. Gary said he also said he could tape him to the front of his walker.
Jon said he's glad that he brought up Flat Ronnie. Jon asked if Colin would bring him somewhere. Colin said he's doing a show tonight and he'd do that. Gary said that Howard is very excited about this. He said they are getting some Flat Ronnies and they will be giving them to some VIPs. Jon said he'd bring him to a football game this weekend. Gary said he's going to Italy next summer so he may bring him with him there.
Jon took a call from a guy who gave Colin a ''Colin Hay Now!'' The caller said he saw Colin with his wife over the weekend. They spent a minute talking about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Gary he has to get JD a good Christmas gift because the sheets thing took away from Gary unfriending Howard. Gary said that the JD songs keep coming. He said it's like Niagara falls. Colin said the songs come out so quickly and they're fantastic. He said he doesn't know how they do it. Gary said you only need one good line and a chorus. He said you don't need the whole song. Colin said that's hard to get a good chorus. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Aaron about the sheets. Aaron said that he has gone down on prostitutes and even he washes his sheets. He said he has a girlfriend now and she orgasms on occasion and he leaves those stains on the sheets just to remind her that she came.
Jon said JD has gone a year without washing the sheets. He asked when he would have washed them. Gary said he's not going to wash them unless he spills something on them. Colin said he thinks his girlfriend would have told him to wash them. They told Colin he's been with her about a year. Gary said if she comes to visit every third weekend how is she going to know if they're washed or not. He said she might assume they were washed. Jon said maybe she learned about it when they learned about it. Gary said JD has to go through a lot this week with all of that going on.
Gary wondered when JD is replacing his toothbrush. Aaron said he waits until he goes to the dentist. Gary said they're only a couple of bucks so just buy a new one. He said they suggest putting them in the dishwasher.
Colin asked when JD admitted to this. Gary said he made the mistake of admitting to it off the air to someone in the office. Gary said JD didn't think it was a big deal but that other person did. Colin asked why he doesn't know by now that you just don't say that to you chaps. Gary said they talk about that all the time.
Jon said if you don't talk about something then you will get called out on that. Aaron asked if JD has any bed sores or anything. They haven't but Jon invited Aaron to do that. Aaron said he'd need a HazMat suit to do it.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she is going backwards with the Bree Olson thing. She said that Charlie might be coming out now to stop people from blackmailing him. They spent a minute talking about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's been listening to the show since the 80s and he wonders how Jon and Gary are facing it if the show comes to an end. Gary said this is his 6th time in that position. He said he just has to move ahead until he hears differently. Gary said he wants to be there so he's just moving ahead right now. Jon said that they just have to hang in there and wait to hear what happens. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said he wonders how difficult it is to not take your job home with you. Jon said he wonders how Ray goes home with what he had to deal with. Colin said he sounds like a very together guy. He said he sounds like a good father and very smart. He said he's a very impressive man.
Jon said he'd like to talk about Sal Governale who is fired up about the Paris attacks. Colin said they have to talk about the sleeper cell in his neighborhood too. Colin said he lived in a place like that when he was younger and they were just in there smoking weed. Gary said that if Sal does call about that the cops are just going to say that is half of Long Island. He said there are plenty of people who keep their houses like that. He said he's not sure what Sal is going to report.
Jon said that Sal is clearly profiling when he does this. Colin said it's very confidently too. Aaron said that's how America is supposed to be according to FOX News.
Aaron said he got on a subway the other day and there was a suspicious guy on the train and people were kind of uptight about it. He said it's a bad time for that kind of stuff.
Jon said New York is the number one target in the world and they kind of know that. He said you accept it when you live there. Jon said he's going to live his life from day to day and whatever happens, happens. Colin said he feels kind of safe in New York. He said he feels safer there than in a lot of other places. Gary said that he doesn't see a lot of cops out there but he does feel safe.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she's worried about them and she wonders if they're worried about a retaliation for something like Howard doing that ISIS Hotline thing. She said that she is worried for them. Gary said they're far from the only people talking about them. He said he thinks they'd be low on the food chain for that. They also pointed out they have Ronnie as security there so they have nothing to worry about.
Jon said what Howard does is turn the hotline into a bit and he's making people laugh as he's expressing his opinion. He said it's a more easily digestible way of commenting on this stuff.
Gary said that there's a book store in the city called Isis and they keep getting vandalized because people don't like ISIS. Gary said there was a diet supplement called AYDS out around the time AIDS was getting noticed and they had to change the name because no one would by it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how they feel about the new emotional Howard. He said last week there was a moment when Howard was stopped in his tracks when Christie Brinkley was talking about her boyfriend that died. He wondered what they think about that. Jon said Howard got emotional with Bree too. Gary said he hasn't noticed that he got emotional. He said he thinks Howard let Christie have a moment when she got emotional. Aaron said it might be male menopause. He said that they start to emote after 50. Gary said he's more emotional than he was 30 years go. Gary said that he gets emotional watching a commercial. Gary said he didn't cry in his 20s and he thought there was something wrong with him. He said he cries more now. Gary said he cried as a younger kid but then he just couldn't cry. Aaron said he cries all the time now. He said it's fantastic.
Colin said sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere. He said he was in Glasgow years ago and his sister called him and told him that his father had gone. He had to do a show the next night and halfway through it he tried to say his father had died and he couldn't talk for 2 or 3 minutes. He said it's big stuff and people underplay it. He said we all get to that point when you lose people you love and it's a terrible thing.
Gary said that sometimes he'll be in his car around the holidays and something will hit him about his brother or his father. He said that he'll hear a song or something and it gets him. Gary said Howard played the Elton John song that reminds him of his brother and he cried over that. Aaron said it means you're more of a man when you can cry over something like that. He said it means you're growing up.
Jon said he has a friend who goes to a funeral and starts laughing. He said that's how they release their emotions. Jon said the moment you're supposed to cry isn't when it happens. He said it's like a random thing. Jon said he thinks Howard has become more emotional but that's growing up.
Jon asked if Rahsaan is crying over there because he's not talking to him. Rahsaan said he is. He had nothing to add to the show though. Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and gave Aaron and Colin some plugs as he was wrapping up the show. They were done around 12:05pm.
Rahsaan said they're going to play some clips and they have the poll up asking who was the best at gay phone sex. He played clips of Ronnie, Scott, Richard, JD, Jason and Memet doing their thing.
Jon went over who Andy Cohen picked for his top 3 winners. Jon said he thinks Scott Salem is the clear winner. He said he went above and beyond. He said he had him laughing the hardest. He said he thinks he surprised a bunch of people. He said he was the one who he wanted to keep going.
Gary said there were two people who didn't get enough credit. He said Memet was good but Howard set him up as someone no one knows. He said he was the only one who was a submissive in that. He said he was unique and did a really good job. He said he thinks Jason was good too. He said he thought he did a very good job. Jon said he disagrees. He said he agrees with Andy about how he just did it like he was talking to a woman. Rahsaan said he thinks Ronnie is the sex god. He said he knew what he wanted and here was no hesitation. Rahsaan said he feels like some of the guys had a script but Ronnie just let it out.
Jon asked Gary who he would pick as a winner. Gary said Ronnie was good and Scott surprised him. Jon said Scott was a swinger back in the day. He said that was a long time ago but maybe he's found his niche. Gary said JD didn't try. Jon said they have to talk about JD. He said he's not homophobic. He said he just gets insecure and giggles. He said if it wasn't open to the audience he thinks JD would have won. Gary said that they already know that he is the most experienced in that area. He said if JD didn't know it was going to air he would have been the best.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Jon didn't do the contest. Jon said the same reason that Gary didn't do it. Gary said for him it's weird to have to call Harrison Ford's publicist knowing she hears the show every day. Jon said he speaks to a lot of people too and he's not going to do it. He said the whole thing is to get clips of you saying gay phone sex lines and that's why he didn't do it. Gary said he has to deal with people on the phone and it's embarrassing for him. He said Jon doesn't have to do that. Jon said Gary didn't it for the same reason he didn't. Gary said that was part of it. He said he probably should have done it but the worst of it hasn't happened yet. He said Jon is correct. He said the worst is yet to come with those clips and he made the right decision.
Jon said Sal put this all together and he said he had to orchestrate it so he didn't do it either. Gary said Sal said he heard what everyone else did so he couldn't be part of it.
The caller said that it seems like JD might be homophobic based on his reaction. The caller said he would have had fun with it even though he's heterosexual. He said Jon and Gary didn't do it and JD wasn't so into it. Gary said he has a gay brother so he can't be homophobic.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Gary made a great decision not doing it. He said he thought he was a pussy at first but he thinks that he's one of the most important people on the show and he did the right thing. Gary said he is a team player and he chose one time not to be. He said he'll be back.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks with Ronnie he's so sexually active and he's an old man. He said it's like he's been there before. He said it's kind of creepy with that old man voice too. He said he thinks he was going from experience with that call. He said maybe he's been in that position before for the show or in his personal life. They guys spent a minute talking about what Ronnie has talked about doing in the past like taking a finger in the ass. Rahsaan said he'd never do that. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that Ray Kelly said he would arrest Batman. Danny said vigilante justice has to be outlawed for people to survive. Jon said Ray Kelly is doing his job well and he takes one of the best crime fighters off the streets. Danny said that Commissioner Gordon went along with Batman. He said there's someone who goes along with it. He said in real life we don't tolerate real vigilantes. He said in comic books we're on the side of people fighting for justice.
Jon said Batman has no super powers. He said he can't see Ray Kelly firing up the Bat Signal to seek the help from this vigilante. Gary said that Danny just put it into perspective for him. He said in the movies we know what his intentions are. He said if you don't know then he's just some weirdo. He said you don't know if he's thinking within the lines of the law.
Danny said they have another things like Stand Your Ground and the Castle Doctrine. He said we're not at the level legally to let people go out and initiate violence.
Gary said in the 1980s he had to ride the subway and the Guardian Angels were there. He said it made you feel safe. He said if they intervene they'd get shit for it. Gary said he wonders what the difference is if they intervene or a regular person intervenes. Danny said that each side has a story that makes them Spider-Man. He said that just highlights how justice is a subjective concept.
Jon asked Danny about Batman tying up 3 guys and leaving them for the cops. He asked if the cops can actually arrest them. Danny said that has been something he's thought about for a long time. He said the problem is if you take away the complainant then you have nothing to arrest them for. He said if they have open warrants for them then they can be arrested. He said you can't just leave them in a web like Spider-Man does and expect them to be arrested. Danny said there are loss prevention people at stores and the cops take their word for what they say is going on in the store. He said that they do a lot of law enforcement functions without the constitutional constraints. Gary asked if he's held for shoplifting does he have to stay there. Danny said he a citizen doesn't have the right to detain another citizen. He said in his opinion a citizen can tell them to pound sand and walk out. He said it's an interesting legal area.
Gary said here is someone on the staff who was caught shoplifting and they had a whole ordeal going on. He wouldn't say who it was. Danny figured it was Jon but Jon said it wasn't him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about Michael Rapaport and if there's any legal ramifications about his emails to the people in their league. Gary said that he has been looking over his emails and there is a lot of insinuation but never any flat out stuff. He said sometimes he'll threaten to come to his house with duct tape and Vaseline. He said then he'll say that Vaseline is good to keep the flies away. Danny said he thinks he can say that the problem is that the fantasy football league is an optional thing. He said that he's not an employee so he can't be called out for harassment. He said it could be considered hostile. He said it's also not a typical work environment. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the gay calls and said that Scott was at least second best but he didn't even get in the top 3. He said he was forgotten again. Gary said Scott gets short changed a lot. He said he doesn't get any respect. Jon said that he sometimes brings it on himself but sometimes it's just because he's been pigeonholed. Gary said that when they got there to Sirius they moved his studio up the hall so he was close to the studio but there were times when he'd get Jason or Will to look at a list of people on the staff and he'd ask people to look it over and they'd notice that Scott wasn't on it.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that it came down to 3 guys. He said third place was Memet with 17 percent of the votes. The bottom of the poll was Jason with 5 percent. He said Richard had 6 percent. Second place was Scott the Engineer with 22 percent and Ronnie came in first with 38 percent. Jon said he tried to help Scott there. He said Ronnie is the champ when it comes to that.
Jon wrapped up and got in some plugs for today's Sternthology. The ended the show around 12:05pm.