| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard and the guys were back from their 2 week vacation. Howard started the show talking about the new time slot. Howard said he's been there since 6. He said he was ready to go on at 6 so it made no difference. Howard said he went to bed last night and got up at 2. He said he went down and ate something and then wasn't able to fall asleep. He said he did fall asleep eventually and he was able to sleep until 5. Robin asked how long this will take to be normal for him. Howard said he complains about everything. He said it's in his DNA.
Howard asked Robin what she did for New Year's eve. Robin said she played a drinking game with her nephew. Howard asked what she's doing. Robin said she is doing normal things like normal people. Robin said she drank at his birthday show last year. Howard said he told her not to. Robin said he did not. Howard said he should have. Howard said her nephew should know better. Robin said she's the fun aunt who hangs with the 27 year olds and gets drunk. Robin said they were drinking an egg not mixture to get drunk on. Howard asked if she got drunk. Robin said she did. She said they were watching the Lord of the Rings and playing a drinking game.
Robin said she thinks she also witnessed a miracle over the holiday. Howard asked what that was. Robin said they were discussing the final days of her mother because she got very sick before the holidays. She had a stroke and things looked very dire. Robin said they had to have that discussion about what they wanted done and not done to prolong her life. Robin said they were considering hospice care and they spent Christmas eve together. Howard said he's surprised she even cared. Robin told him to stop it. Robin said you have a love for your mother no matter how bad or good they were. Howard said that's the only one you've got. Robin said that's right.
Robin said her mother could barely wake up and she was having labored breathing. Robin said the other day she ended up talking to her on the phone and now she's in rehab. Robin said they can't explain it. Robin said she was still using all four of her limbs when she was unconscious. Robin said they couldn't tell what kind of deficit she would have. Robin said she's slower in talking but she doesn't have a lot of problems. Howard said they should start a religion based on her. Howard said they can prop her up on a stage and take her around.
Howard said Robin beat cancer and now her mother has beat a stroke. He said the Quivers women have overcome these things.
Robin said they do these miracle stories in the news all the time. Howard said he saw the movie ''The History of Everything'' about Stephen Hawking and he had no miracle. Howard said Robin's mom did. Howard said Lou Gehrig didn't but her mom did. Howard said that god works in mysterious ways. Robin said he does make some crazy decisions.
Howard said he's happy to hear about that. He said he's glad it didn't interfere with the show today. He said it could have.
Howard said he has to talk about the Christmas party. He said they had the party and they do that every year. He said he sat down to eat his dinner with Beth and Benjy was talking to him with his girlfriend Elisa. Howard said they are boyfriend and girlfriend. He said they're always together. Howard said he asked Benjy and Elisa to sit down and talk. He said this fucking guy started to sweat. He said he turned beat red and got blotchy. Howard said Gary noticed it. He said Gary came running over thinking Benjy was bothering him. He said that he was whispering to Elisa back and forth. He said he asked what the fuck was going on there. He said that Elisa told him that Benjy was nervous thinking he didn't really want him there. Howard said Benjy was a mess. He really did want to talk to him and he's not sure why he thought he didn't. He said Benjy said he would get up and leave if he wanted him to. He said it was so odd. Howard said Robin was there. He said everyone met JD's girlfriend too. Howard said that was a big deal. He said it was kind of anticlimactic. Howard said it was weird.
Howard said JD had his arm around the girl and she looked very normal. He said it's just weird to see JD like that. Howard said Ronnie got up and took over the Karaoke machine. Howard said he was carrying on like a lunatic. Howard said he's like a party killer. Howard said someone who is a great singer was up there. Howard said Ronnie got up and ruined it. Howard said he wishes he had tape of that.
Howard said JD went out with Ronnie on New Year's Eve and they were in a restaurant and Ronnie started to sing there. He had an audio clip to play. It was Ronnie singing a Pitbull song there at the restaurant. Howard said this is in a restaurant. He said that the people there must be wondering what the hell is going on. Howard said this guy is close to 70 years old and he's doing this. Robin said he's like Jekyll and Hyde. Howard said he assumes he goes home and sleeps for 3 days after that.
Howard asked JD how that happens. JD said he loves that. He said they were sitting at the table and the DJ said he was going to give them the microphone eventually. He said it was great for him. Howard asked who was there. JD said that he was there with his girlfriend. He said he thinks that Ronnie's son was there too. Howard asked if he thinks he was or was he actually there. JD said he was there. Howard asked if his son is embarrassed by all of that. JD said he didn't notice. He said his son didn't join in though.
Ronnie came in and said that he was up singing with the guy who runs the place. He said that they know him. He said he's been there before. He said he's done shows there. JD said Ronnie is a party starter.
Howard asked who else was there. Ronnie said that it was Joe and his wife. Howard asked what Joe does there. Ronnie said that Joe was dancing at the table. He said they had a good time there. He said it was a lot of fun. He said they did a lot of drinking. Howard asked if he was drunk. Ronnie said he wasn't. He said he didn't have to go home and sleep for 3 days.
Howard asked Ronnie who was singing that was so good at the Christmas party. Ronnie said it was Lauren. Howard said he was enjoying her and Ronnie ruined it. Ronnie said he's going to stay home next time. He said he thought he wanted to have a good time. Howard said it was fun. He said he's the only guy up there. Howard said Sal got up too. He said Lauren did too. Howard said he did a duet with Lauren and he ruined it. Ronnie said Mike Fox was up there too and he sucked. Howard said he thought Mike was terrific. Howard said Lauren should come in. Ronnie said she's not there yet. Howard said Ronnie got up and ruined it with her.
Howard said Ronnie was singing a Beatles song and he doesn't even know their stuff. Ronnie said he does too. Howard told him to name 10 of their songs. Ronnie named a bunch. Howard told him to name all 7 Beatles. Ronnie asked what 7 he's talking about. Howard said Ronnie was so loud doing that. He said he would rather hear Yoko sing.
Howard said Ronnie was on fire. He said the New Year's Eve thing was crazy too. Ronnie said that it was reservations only and the owner dragged him up there. Howard asked how long he was there. Ronnie said he was there from 9 until about 1:30 or 2. Howard laughed. Howard said he's thinking about the Indian family that was there and how confused they must have been. Ronnie said they weren't confused.
Howard said JD was there with the girlfriend. Howard said she's surprisingly normal. Howard said you wonder what's wrong with her that she's dating JD. Ronnie said she loves to drink and that's why they get along so well. Howard said JD is like Mr. Social now. He said he saw him put her arm around her. He said it was like an old married couple. Howard said he's like JD Clooney now.
Howard said Ronnie seems to be getting ready to get married. He said he used to be against it but now he's not so sure.
Howard said he spent most of the Christmas party talking to Benjy. Ronnie said he spent a lot of time talking to Jon Hein. He said Richard and his wife were there too. Robin said she went to see Richard but he was in the bathroom unloading his beer. Robin said that she wanted to say hello to everyone but he wasn't around. Howard said the place was full of beautiful women and ugly guys. He said that Jon Hein's wife is really beautiful. He said that all he could think of is how massive he is. Howard wondered how he gets on top of her. Howard wondered if he can mount her from above. He said that he must have to be on his back. Fred said he doesn't think he'd want to crush her. Ronnie said he could be in the push up position. Howard said she's really cute and small. He said Jon is just a huge guy. Ronnie said they're fun to party with.
Howard played more of Ronnie screaming and singing at the restaurant on New Year's Eve. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Ronnie yelling. Ronnie got in on that and yelled some as well. Howard asked if Ronnie is the one yelling ''Party!'' Ronnie said he knew some of the words to the song so he was singing the song. He said the owner of the place was singing too. Howard said it seems like Ronnie knows one word of the song. He played the clip again.
Howard asked if JD was drunk too. Ronnie said he wasn't really. He said he has the camera going all the time though. He said that he asked if it was okay to turn it in. He said he told him to do what he has to do.
Howard said JD is really tight with the girlfriend. He asked what he got her for Christmas. JD said he got her some headphones she wanted. Howard said that he'd rather have no personality like JD and not be like Ronnie. Ronnie said that JD has a good time at those parties. He said he's had him to his house before. Howard said that JD was the first one to say yes to the party.
Howard asked if he's surprised that the girl JD is dating is so normal. Ronnie said she likes to party. He said that JD was the one who wanted to leave at 12:40. He said she was ready to stay. Ronnie said they were having a good time and JD was walking out the door while she was sitting at the table.
Howard said he stayed up until like 1 in the morning on New Year's. He said he danced too. Howard said he didn't sing. Howard said he invented some new dances on New Year's. He said he danced with this guy Will. He said he invented a dance where they were throwing the world back and forth. Howard said they did another dance where they were card dealing. He said Will was dealing cards and he'd tell him hit or no hit. Howard said he had another one where the guy puts his penis in his mouth. He cut himself off saying ''Oops!''
Howard said Fred was at the Christmas party. He said he didn't get to talk to him there. Fred said he was going to say hi but he was already on his way out. Howard said he was having a good discussion with Benjy until he started sweating. Fred said that he sweats in there too. Benjy said he was petrified. He said he doesn't know why but he was. Howard said it was disgusting. Howard said Benjy told him he'd get up and leave if he wanted him to. Howard said he wonders how a guy can sweat so much and stay so fat. Howard said he got fatter over vacation. Fred said he has neck fat now.
Howard said Benjy's twitter account was all about how he was going to start working out and then all of a sudden he had lost his way. Howard said Benjy keeps posting that he wants to watch people's homes. Benjy said he figures that because he's known that he could do that. Howard said he should be able to find something like that. Howard said he's not sure he'll be able to find anyone who would want that.
Howard said Benjy and Elisa do a thing where they talk to people. Benjy said they can do a conference call kind of thing and do a show. He said they interview people. Howard said he's on a roll. He said he wants to interview Robin next. Howard said he has a promo of that. Howard played the clip of the promo where Benjy and Elisa talk about how they want to interview Robin Quivers.
Howard said he is a little curious. Robin said that makes one. Howard said Benjy sounded drugged in that clip. He said that's his interview voice. Howard played a new song parody about Robin from Eli Braden.
Howard said he has so many thing to play and so many things to get to. He said he's not hearing that many crazy stories from the Christmas party. Robin said JD's girlfriend stopped everything. Howard said she was kind or normal. He said she wasn't so weird.
Howard asked Gary if he saw anything weird at the Christmas party. Howard asked if Sal and Richard behaved. Howard said Sal was kind or normal.
Gary said that he was up there when Lauren was singing and then Ronnie ruined it and he saw the look on his face. Howard said Lauren can really sing. Howard said she can hit the notes and then Ronnie gets up there and ruins it. Howard said it was good until then. Gary said he loved the seafood at the party. He said it was a great party.
Howard said he did a lot of painting over the vacation. Robin said that he's very stylistic. Howard said he's developing a style. He said he's being taught. Howard said he is developing a style. Robin said she noticed it. Howard said everyone does. He said he has the style of a slow adult.
Howard said the guys took his Elephant Man impression and made a prank call to a guy who you can't even understand. Howard said you can't understand him or the other guy. Howard said Bradley Cooper will be coming in tomorrow. Howard said he plays Elephant Man and he's in this movie ''American Sniper'' that's really good. Howard said there are so many good movies around. Robin asked if he saw The Interview. Howard said he saw it before all of that stuff went down. Robin said that she saw it on iTunes so she watched it. Howard asked how it's doing money wise. Robin said it's made $15 million so far. Robin said it's not in a lot of theaters though. Robin said the figures for this weekend aren't out yet.
Gary said that his son had 10 friends over to watch it and they only paid $6 for it. He said they could have done really well if it was in theaters.
Howard played the prank call the guys made to the guy who you can barely understand. In the clip you hear Howard doing his Elephant Man voice and the other guy sounds just as unintelligible. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard asked what's up with the phone. Bobo said that it's the signal down there. Howard said the signal can't get through his toupee. Bobo asked if he danced the Windshield Wiper dance with Beth at the party. Howard said he didn't dance at all. No one did. Howard said that they had a DJ but no one really danced.
Bobo asked if he spoke to JD's girlfriend. Howard said he didn't really. He said he saw JD with his Christmas sweater and putting his arm around her. Howard said it was pretty weird to see. Howard said he gets shunned usually. He said it was fascinating.
Bobo asked if Robin brought a date. Howard said she was flying ''Han Solo.'' Bobo asked if Jackie was there. Howard said he was not. Howard said Bobo got in his one question already. He played him out with another song.
Robin said she saw that Jay Thomas was there. Howard said he spent a lot of time talking to Jay. He was there with some golf pro. Robin said that guy asked who she was. Howard said that's insulting. Howard said that it's good to check in with Jay.
Howard took a call from a guy who was from New Hampshire. Howard said he used to go up there and it's a really nice place to live. Howard said that he had friends up there and he wanted to work up there but he wasn't able to get a job up there. Howard said his phone is breaking up too. The caller said that's because he's in New Hampshire.
The caller asked Howard if he gets upset with Robin when she cuts him off during interviews. Howard said no. He said that they have it pretty well down. Howard said he doesn't know. The caller also brought up Ronnie and how he always talks about how great people are if they love to party. He said that's all that matters to him. Howard said he has noticed that. Howard said when he met Ronnie he was a limo driver with a normal life. He said he was married with kids and he wasn't into partying. Then he brought him to Scores. He said Ronnie latched on to Lonnie at Scores and Ronnie became a new guy. He became Party Ronnie. Howard said then he moved him into the building doing security. Howard said that really set off Party Ronnie. He said this personality emerged. He said then he started getting encouragement to act weirder. Now he's out of control Ronnie. He said his thing is to scream and yell.
Howard said Ronnie has no ability to read the room. He said people who enjoy him yelling are cool. He said he has no ability to tell when he's annoying people. He said this is the Ronnie who has evolved. Howard said that he used to wait in the car and ask why Gary got all of these appearances.
The caller said when Ronnie first got on the air he was very timid. He said he barely wanted to talk at all. He said now it's like he's King Kong. Howard said he realized if he says ''fuck'' a lot then he gets attention. He said he developed a whole radio persona.
The caller said they're the best and ''F-Jackie.'' Howard played a ''The Ronnie Mund Show'' bit Sal and Richard created. They took another break after that.
Howard said they have some fun things going on at HowardStern.com. He said they have a thing that Anna Kooiman did for them. Howard said she's fucking hot. He said she rates the guys on the show. Howard said they also have some results of some polls they had about the best song parody of the year and things like that. Howard said he has to find them. Howard asked Gary to put that prank call back up on the board. He played the Elephant Man prank call again.
Robin asked if you would pick up a phone if you spoke like that guy. Howard said the only one who understands that guy is JD. Howard said his impression of Elephant Man is like he's choking on something. Howard said the guy liked it. Robin said the guy responded. Howard did more of his impression of Elephant Man.
Howard said that they have the results of the favorite song parody of 2014. Howard said they have so many good ones. He said Daniel Mendelson wasn't even nominated. Howard said that's ridiculous. Howard said coming in at number 5 according to the audience it was this one from Little Mikey. He played the parody that he did. Howard said at number 4 was Mike Fox with Game of Booeys. Howard said that's good for Mike. Howard said at number 3 they had Little Mikey again with Web Cam Girls. At number 2 was Psych. He came in at number 1 as well. He had a song about Eric the Actor. Howard said he misses Eric the Actor. He said he thinks that's the biggest deal of the year. Howard said at number 1 was ''Imran Khan.'' Robin asked if that really came out in 2014. Howard said they might not be that accurate with their years.
Howard said that they must have put 3 seconds of thought into the nominations for the songs. He said he thinks that one would have won anyway though.
Howard said he has the top 5 Phony Phone Calls of the year. Howard said Carol Leifer got 10 percent of the votes for number 5. Howard played her prank call to a florist where she said goodbye to her husband and her boyfriend.
Howard said at number 4 they have a prank call that got 11 percent of the vote. This one is an Amazing Grace singer who gets hung up on. Howard played that prank call that Sal and Richard made with clips of a woman singing Amazing Grace.
Howard said at number 3 they had a call that got 19 percent of the vote. That one is a caller who got upset about ''naughty words.'' Sal and Richard made that call where they complained about a guy saying the term ''naughty words.'' Howard spent a couple of minutes goofing on the radio guy's voice.
At number 2 they had a call that got 24 percent of the vote. That call was one that Neil Patrick Harris made to Riley Martin as a telemarketer. Riley was mumbling and slurring his words as Neil was trying to talk to him. Howard said Ronnie probably likes Riley because he likes to party.
Howard said at number 1 was a call that got 36 percent of the vote was a prank call to Swap Shop when Gary calls with the trumpet. Howard played that call where Sal and Richard called Swap Shop with clips of Gary playing Trumpet. Howard said that is pretty good. He said it should be number 1.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Howard said he was in Mexico and he heard a bird crowing. He said that a friend started doing his Mariann impression. Mariann said that makes her new year. Mariann asked Robin if she remembered the new show start time. Robin said she did. She said that they could start the show at 6 if they're there at 6. Howard said that they could do that if they're both there by 6. He said they do have to sit there until 11 now.
Mariann said that she thinks that Chris Rock is going to be more edgy now. Howard said he has no idea what Mariann just said. Robin said she's happy that Chris is getting divorced. Howard let her go and played her out with a song parody. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he had to take a plane ride over vacation. He said he asked the guys for advice on what to watch on that flight. Howard said he wrote Robin as part of the group and she didn't respond. Howard said people recommended something called Broken Mirror (Black Mirror) or something. Howard said the guys told him to watch The Good Wife. Howard said he loves it. He thought it would be lame but it's really good. Howard said they have a lot of courtroom stuff. He said he loves that kind of thing. Howard said he's only on season one but it's really good.
Robin said she's watching Black Mirror but it's not that good. Robin said she has started Sons of Anarchy and she's digging that. Robin said she has a whole bunch to watch.
Howard said before they went on vacation they had that whole thing with the NY Daily News calling him an idiot. Howard said he tried to call the publisher of the Daily News to talk to him about it. He said he wasn't able to get in touch with the guy. He said a lot of those types don't pick up the phone. He said they live in their bubble and don't want to hear anything. Howard said he wanted to explain that it was yellow journalism and he wouldn't want to be a part of that.
Howard said the Daily News did a bit of an apology and they were saying that he needed an apology. Howard said that he doesn't like it when an editor goes rogue and changes a story to call him an idiot. Howard said it really sucked. He said he thinks that in some weird way it was an acknowledgement to him. Howard said that it really disturbed him. Howard said that's the end of that.
Howard said he has the article with him. He said that he's not sure if Robin saw it. Howard said he's sure no one did. Howard said this was buried in the paper. Howard said they had a lot of letters to the editor saying that he was owed an apology. Howard said that Mort Zuckerman talked about the same cyber terrorism thing years ago.
Howard said that they got a lot of email. Howard said that someone wrote about how happy they are that he's starting at 7. Howard said he and Robin were there at 6 this morning though. He said that they had to sit there waiting for 7 to come around.
Howard read some more email and someone asked to hear the Bill Cosby ''Baby it's cold outside'' song parody. Howard said he wants to hear that. Fred thought they had played it. Howard asked him to find it and play it.
Howard read some email about the Worst Caller and someone said that King of All Blacks is worse than Bobo. Howard said that someone said that Chris Rock sounded like Beetlejuice when he was on the show recently.
Howard played the Bill Cosby Christmas Album commercial parody that someone had written in about. Howard said that request was met.
Howard said if he was the president of Sony he would have gone berserk. Howard said he would have felt abandoned and alone. Howard said that corporations are made up of people like you and me. He said that a threat was made that they were going to blow up a movie theater. Howard said Sony had been hacked and they were reeling from that. Howard said the press was taking this information and supporting the terrorists by printing it all. Howard said he had a good time reading it but as he pointed out he thinks the country should have banned together and they should have come out right away saying they were under attack and stand up to those people. Howard said they can't fire anyone because of the attack. If they do then the terrorists win. Howard said when the movie was pulled he understood what Sony was going through. Howard said the country is full of venomous snakes called lawyers. Howard said they just sue and sue. Howard said that if there was an incident the lawyers would have lined up for years. Howard said that they would have said they knew and they were money grubbers. Howard said they would have said they knew and they shouldn't have released it.
Howard said the president came out and said that they should have released the movie. Howard said that he came out a little late saying that. Howard said that they should have released Sony from having to defend themselves from lawsuits. Howard said that we're at war with most countries. Howard said this whole thing was botched. Howard said they called Sony a bunch of cowards. Howard said they were under siege. He said that they don't know what to do. Howard said they were being ridiculed to death.
The caller said that he thinks that some people thought this was a publicity stunt on Sony's part. Howard said he doesn't think that it is. He said that it didn't help the president of Sony if it was. Howard said that she may lose her job because of this. Howard said that's not right. He said if he was President he would have said we are under attack and we are at DEFCON 12. Robin said there isn't a 12. Howard said he would have started nuking countries.
Howard said he wrote a note to himself about ''A Walk Among the Tombstones.'' Howard said that movie must have been good. Robin said it was very good. Robin said that Liam Neeson is a great action hero and he didn't start until he was in his 50s. Robin said she read that Sylvester Stallone is coming out with a new Rocky and a new Rambo movie. Howard said he loves those movies. Howard said he loves the Expendables. He said he watches every one. Howard said he can't believe he liked the Stephen Hawking movie. Robin said she heard it was really good but she didn't watch it because Howard told her not to. Howard said it was good and she should watch it.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for starting the show at 7. He said it's much better for him. He also said he liked the Birthday Bash Director's Cut special. Howard said a lot of people enjoyed that.
The caller asked how the re-signing is going. Howard said they haven't had any discussion yet. He said he's not sure what he wants to do yet. He said he got an interesting offer to do some other work. He said he has to sit down with Robin and Fred to find out what they want to do. Howard said he may want to do nothing. Howard said he remembers when his dad retired at 59. He said that he was a workaholic and he hasn't worked a day in his life since then. Howard said he thinks he needs radio and an audience but maybe he doesn't. Howard said working there at Sirius has been great. Howard said the guy who runs the company, Jim, is a great guy. He said he's working hard to get some new things going there. Howard said he's really excited about that. Howard said he applauds him for working so hard. Howard said they are setting all kinds of records there. Howard said if he does radio he's going to talk to Jim. Howard said Jim came to see him before vacation and he did say to him that he'd enjoy having him re-up with them. Howard said there will be some discussion and they will figure it out. The caller said the fans want to know.
Howard said Jim did say to him that every time he has a new contract it goes right to the last minute. Howard said that's the truth. Howard said he's not sure why but that's the way it works. Howard said that's how he does business.
The caller said it came down to the last minute with that last contract too. He said that last year went by really fast. Howard said he hopes that this one goes slow.
The caller also mentioned that Donna Douglas died at the age of 81. Robin said she played Elly May. The caller asked if Robin or Elly May had bigger breasts. Howard said that Robin did. Robin said that she was a smaller woman though. She said that it's all in proportion. Howard said that Robin has bigger breasts. Robin said that Wendy Williams has ginormous ones. Howard said that Robin's are still bigger.
Howard said Donna Douglas played Elly May. Howard read some things about her and how she was asked to milk a goat for her audition. Howard said she was able to do it so she got the part. Howard said she also made appearances later in life dressed up like Elly May. Howard said that she was also in a Twilight Zone episode. Howard said that she was in ''Eye of the Beholder.''
Howard said he made Baba Booey milk a goat in the 80s. Howard said he actually made him eat a shrimp. He said that's the big deal at the Christmas party every year. Howard said everyone wants to watch the shrimp struggling against his teeth. Gary said he just eats and people come by and say ''Hey, look at that, you're eating shrimp.'' Howard said it's fascinating.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he doesn't re-sign with Sirius would he do a late night show. Howard said he wouldn't but he did get a couple of job offers that he fantasizes about. Howard said that he thinks they'd like it. Howard said it's so fucking good. Howard said he won't share because he's not sure he can. He said it would be very cool to talk about. The caller said he would tune in every night if he did. Howard said this would be ''watching'' him.
Howard said that he spent 5 days with Jimmy Kimmel. He said he met their baby Jane. He said that Jimmy is 45 years old and he's got grown kids in their 20s. He said he has a baby now too. Howard said it's weird to him because he's so young that he has old kids too. He said he must have started at 15. Howard said Jane is adorable. Howard said she's really well behaved too. Howard said when she cries they hand her off to the help. Howard said when it gets annoying they put her away. That's the way to do it. Howard said he was with Jimmy and they spent a lot of time drawing and painting. Howard said if you follow him on Instagram or Twitter he shows his work. Howard said he doesn't show his work.
Robin asked where they were working. Howard said he just read he posts something every day. Howard said they were sitting at a table doing it. Howard said Jimmy will draw a caricature of old people. Howard said he's good too. Howard said he's much more serious about it himself.
Howard said that he watched The Good Wife. He said Julianna Margulies looks really good. He said she must have done some work to her face. Howard said she looks different. Robin said she must have. Robin said Maggie Gyllenhaal did that show ''The Honorable Woman'' and it was so good. She said she didn't do a great job promoting it on the show. Robin said Howard should watch that. Howard told Gary to write him a note about that. Howard said he has to see that. He said if she had described it as Robin did he would have watched it.
Gary came in and said that Amazon has shows. He said the show Transparent is really good. Gary said Jeffrey Tambour plays a transsexual. He said that he's coming out in his 60s and it's great. Robin said he struggles in the whole thing and it just doesn't work for him.
Howard said maybe instead of doing that they could cut a hole in the floor so he can lower and raise himself. Robin said she's not sure they have that kind of floor space to work with. Howard said it's the last year of his contract so maybe they'd do that to please him. He said he'd like to swim during the show and he wants a pool put in. Robin said they'd have to buy the floor below to do that. Howard said just imagine they did that. He said they want to please him. He said that he'd like to do a show from an aquarium. Howard said he could ask them to turn the whole building sideways.
Howard said Joey Boots and High Pitch Eric were having a discussion on Joey's podcast. Howard said they really need to speak to Eric more often. Howard said this is a great discussion. Howard played the clip and Eric was talking about what he was going to be eating. He said he was going to have steamed chicken but he was cooking it in a frying pan. Eric said he didn't fry it. Eric fried it in olive oil. Eric insisted it wasn't fried but Joey said it was. Eric said there was no breading on it. Joey said that doesn't matter. He said it's still fried. Eric insisted it was steamed.
Howard said that's such a great discussion. He said he has a 66 IQ so that makes sense. Howard said they found him to be feeble minded. Howard said Eric was happy about that because he thought he was retarded. Howard said it's weird. He said that he must have realized he was wrong but he stuck to his story. Howard said he didn't understand ''fried.''
Howard played a clip of Joey asking Eric about how his diet is going. Eric said it's going okay. Joey said he knows he's eating a lot of pasta lately. Eric said that's what the building serves. He was eating dessert too. Eric claimed it was just for the holiday. Joey said he asked him to get him a bottle of soda too. Eric said he needed caffeine. Eric said after the new year he's going to do Yoga.
Howard asked if Robin thinks he's lost a pound. Robin said no. Howard asked what building he's taking about serving food. Robin said she's not sure where they live. Howard said he was hoping it was a prison.
Howard said he has another clip of Eric and Joey. He said that there's a lot of stuff trying to get out of Eric's throat in these clips. Howard played another clip of Joey talking to Eric about all of the junk food he eats. Howard said there is no hope for that guy.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if he was a Joe Cocker fan. Howard said he was but he only had a couple of hit songs. Howard said he went out on a tour once and almost went bankrupt. Howard said it was cool that he looked like he had Cerebral Palsy on stage. Howard said that was just him playing air guitar. Robin said she thought that they brought up a retarded guy the first time she saw him. Howard said he was a fan of Joe's. He said that he was never put in the rock and roll hall of fame. Howard said he thinks that's shocking. He said he interpreted songs and he did a great job at that. Howard played some of Joe performing ''With with a Little Help From My Friends.'' Howard said he gets so sad when people die. Howard said Joe had another hit with ''Baby She Wrote Me a Letter'' too. Howard said he should be in the hall of fame. He said he had some great hits.
Howard said he was listening to a song by a rap guy named Bizarre. He said the song is about how he loves to masturbate. Howard played some of that for Robin. Howard said that guy is in the Eminem posse. He said he's in one of those posse's. Howard said the song is pretty cool. He said he relates to the song. He said that the song is about how hard it is to masturbate because his kid is knocking on the bathroom door. Howard said it's a pretty good song. He said he wanted to compliment him on that.
Howard said the actor Vincent D'Onofrio put out a song called ''I'm a Hamster'' and it's horrible. Howard played some of that song too. Howard asked what else he did after Full Metal Jacket. Howard said he just read that he's going to play Kingpin in the next Daredevil series. Howard said that's going to be on Netflix he thinks. Howard said he thinks they'll get that right. Howard said he's very excited about that.
Howard said he thinks that Gotham is starting up again tonight. Speech said he's excited about that. Howard said he is too. He said he's hard right now. Howard let Speech go after that.
Howard said The Bachelor starts tonight too. Howard said he's not thrilled with the guy who will be on the show. Howard said that he may be boring. Howard said he may not bring in the caliber of women that he is used to. Howard said his favorite season of all time was when Wendy was on there. He played a clip of Wendy the Slow Adult as The Bachelorette. Howard said that was his favorite season. Robin said she doesn't remember that one.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's glad he's getting up later. He asked if he saw that Paul McCartney is in a song with Kanye West. Howard said he did see that. Howard said he kind of likes the song. The caller said he didn't even bother listening to it. Howard said that Kanye sings with one of those Autotune things but he kind of liked it. Howard said that there are apparently a lot of Kanye West fans who don't know who Paul McCartney is. Howard said they were saying that he may help his career blow up.
Howard played the song that they were talking about. Howard said he knows the rest of them won't like it. Howard let the song ''Only One'' play a little bit.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks. Robin said she likes Kanye. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about the song ''Gold Digger'' and Howard said he has to download that. Howard said he likes songs that have the N-word in them. He said he just noticed that. Howard had Fred play some of the ''Gold Digger'' song. Howard said there must be something to putting the N-word in the song. Howard said he loves when DMX uses it. Robin said someone was pointing out that Samuel L. Jackson does it and it's like poetry. Howard asked Fred to play some DMX songs. Howard said he's against it morally but he does like these songs. Fred played some ''My Niggaz'' from DMX. Fred played ''It's All Good'' from DMX too. Howard said he likes that one as well. Howard said Sal loves any song with the N-word in it too.
Gary said that Michael was trying to trade someone on his team. He said that no one was answering him. Gary said he answered him and said he now knows why he has a restraining order against him. He said Rapaport loved that kind of shit talking.
Howard said Rapaport has a podcast and he had to do an emergency podcast to talk about this loss. Howard had some audio from that podcast where Michael was talking about his loss. Rapaport said this was about losing and the loneliness... Howard said you know no one is listening to this. Gary said now they will since Howard is playing it.
Howard played more of Rapaport talking about his loss and calling Gary ''Gary Dell'Abonte''. Howard said that's what you do to fuck with Gary when you're mad at him. Gary said he thinks that's what Michael thinks his name is. Howard said he thinks he's fucking with him. He said he does that kind of thing with Gary himself.
Howard played more of Rapaport talking about how upset he is about this loss. He said he lost to a monkey. He was goofing on Gary about him being a monkey and all of that. Gary said the theory is that his 14 year old son was the one running the team. Howard said Gary must be psyched that he won. Gary said it's so stupid how happy it made him. Howard said this has gone to his teeth. Gary said that he doesn't even care about the money. He's looking forward to seeing his name on the trophy.
Howard said that Gary came in dead last in the league last season. Gary said he did. He said there is a lot of luck involved in this whole thing.
Howard asked who the big sore loser is in the league. Gary said he's not sure there is one. He said Matthew Berry lost and this was important to him. He said he came in fourth. Howard said it would be great if Rapaport really fucked him in the ass. He said he should compile all of the emails and read them on the air.
Robin said she loves the podcast. Howard played more audio from that. Rapaport was going on and on about how he lost and how he worked everyone in the league.
Gary said he thinks that Michael and Matthew Berry really didn't like each other. He said they didn't get along at all.
Howard asked Jason if he thinks that Gary is gloating too much. Jason came in and said that some people think Gary doesn't know that much about sports and they get upset about this. Gary said those other guys do know a lot and that hasn't gotten their name on a trophy. Will Murray came in and said that Rapaport is a moron. He said he loves the trash talking though. He said that this proves that a lot of this is luck. He said Matthew Berry is an expert and Gary beat him. Gary said at the beginning of the season they told him that they need to know what they're doing but now they're saying you don't.
JD came in second to last this season. Will said he won once. JD said he won twice. Gary said Will thinks he's the best player. He said he's just not. Will said he knows so much more about this than Gary does. Will was asking Gary questions about where someone went to school and Gary asked why that matters. Will said that there is a lot of luck involved. That's what he's trying to say.
Howard said Rapaport should rape both of them. Will said he talks a lot about raping guys. He said it's weird. Howard asked Will if he's pissed that Gary won. Will said he's not pissed. He said there are people who shit on him in other leagues. He said that he won this year in other leagues and he goes through the same thing Gary is going through now.
Howard congratulated Gary on the win. He won $600. Howard said they should up the pot. Gary said it's not even about the money. He said they want to make sure everyone can play too. Howard asked how Scott did. Gary said he didn't do so bad. He was in the semi-finals. Howard thanked Gary for the update. He let him go and went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Robin started her news with a story about Rosamund Pike having a baby and how the Daily News is talking about how good she looks but she's wearing a tent. Howard said he can tell she looks good.
Robin read a story about Derek Hough being seen off with some other woman on vacation after being rumored to be dating Kate Hudson. Howard said if he could do it all over again he'd be a dancer like that Hough guy. He said that seems to be the thing to do.
Robin read a story about one of the Cosby kids being thrown off of Celebrity Apprentice last night. Robin said it was Keshia Knight Pulliam. Robin said that this was all shot before the Cosby thing came out. Howard said he saw that Gilbert Gottfried is on the show too. Howard said so many people call them to do things for them on that show but they say no almost all the time. Howard said they did something for Joan Rivers and Cyndi Lauper. Robin said they did something for Lisa Lampanelli. Howard said he saw her at a North Shore Animal League event. Howard said she is so skinny now. He said she lost 10,000 pounds.
Robin said that Steven Seagal is being sued for sexual harassment. Robin said a 23 year old former model is suing him. Robin said that she was hired as an assistant but then she claims she was used as a sex toy. Robin said two other women have come forward to help with the suit.
Robin read a story about Sarah Palin getting some negative feedback from PETA. Robin said she posted a series of photos of her 6 year old son standing on a dog. Howard asked why she would do that. Robin said because she's Sarah Palin. Howard said he really doesn't like her. He said he'd fuck her but he doesn't like her. Robin said PETA thinks that people should not step on dogs. Robin said Palin shot back that at least her son didn't eat the dog. Howard asked what's wrong with her.
Howard said he has a clip of an anchorwoman trying to undermine her own career. Howard played the clip where a news guy read a story about a cat bar and the woman anchor talks about how they're making tacos out of them. Howard said she laughed because she must have known she was going to get fired. Howard said he loves these deep voice guys who just read and then this woman makes a comment about Asians making tacos out of their cats and dogs. Howard said there's a lot to analyze in that clip. Howard said they think they can lead into the Tonight Show by telling a lame joke and that's what they come up with. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a woman who claims she had sex with Prince Andrew when she was under age. Robin said she claims that a wall street billionaire hired her to be a sex slave. Robin said this guy was sent to jail for having inappropriate sex with girls. Robin said that she claims that Prince Andrew was part of the sex scandal but he claims that he had nothing to do with it. Robin said this girl claims to have pictures with him though.
Robin read a story about Mike Huckabee who is ending his show on FOX News. Howard said he likes that show. He said it's like a throwback kind of TV show. Robin said he's considering a run for president so he has to take time off from doing the show.
Robin read a story about the International Consumer Electronics Show that's taking place this week. Robin said that's a big deal around there usually. Howard said that Jon and Gary go out there and share a hotel room usually. Robin said that Neil Young will be there promoting the Pono Music Service. Robin said 50 Cent will be there and so will Dr. Phil McGraw. Howard asked Gary if he's going this year. Gary said he is not going. He said he just wasn't able to get there this year. He said he thinks Jon is going. Howard said they should rent a hotel room in New York and just pretend to be there. He said maybe they can rent a room in the Pocono's.
Robin read a story about how Israel was erased from a map in a book that was published. Robin said that the publisher claims they left it off because of local preferences. The book was sold to Middle Eastern countries. Howard said that's fucking crazy. He said they can't face that they're over there.
Robin read a story about how a couple of women were put in charge of Dreamworks theatrical releases. Howard said he has no interest in seeing any of those movies. He said he has matured in some way. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who wished him an early Happy birthday. He also said the jury picks for the Boston bomber are taking place this week. He said they're not going to move the trial or postpone it or anything. Howard said that he thinks that he'd go with the claim that his brother made him do it. Howard said he should have picked up the phone and called the authorities. Howard said he hopes they throw the book at him. Howard said if you put him in a suit and make him look sorry then people will forget about how people died and had their limbs blown off. Tommy said he thinks they could end up with a mistrial or something. Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard asking people on the street if they would date the Boston bomber or Howard Stern and a bunch of women picked the bomber because he was good looking. Howard said he must have the lowest Q rating on the planet. He said people can't handle his personality. Robin said that most of those women who picked the bomber were apologizing. The women who picked Howard didn't do that.
Tommy started to ask a question about Bill Clinton and he thought Howard hung up on him and said ''Oh... he's gone'' and hung up himself. Howard said he was just trying to come up with an answer and he hung up on himself. He said he appreciates that.
Robin read a story about Stuart Scott dying over the weekend. Robin said he was an ESPN announcer. Robin had some audio of him talking about his battle with cancer. Robin said that he died yesterday morning and there is an outpouring of love for the guy all over the internet. Robin said he coined a lot of famous phrases on ESPN.
Robin read a story about the jury picking for the Boston Bomber. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on how long that could take.
Robin read a story about the flu and how it's hitting harder than usual. Robin said she got a flu shot. Howard said he did too. Robin said they say that it may be a return to average based on the numbers so far.
Robin read a story about a little girl who survived a plane crash that killed the rest of her family. Howard asked how that happens. Robin said she must have been in the right place in the plane. Robin said her name is Sailor Gutzler and she's 7 years old. Robin said they think she may be able to help investigators figure out why the plane crashed. Robin had some audio of an official talking about the crash and how they're going to need her to help figure out the crash. Robin had audio of the guy who helped the little girl when she found his home.
Robin read about the two police officers who were gunned down while they were away. Robin said they had a memorial yesterday for one of the officers. Robin said that the officer's wife spoke at the funeral. Robin had some audio of her talking about her husband.
Robin read a story about how the President wants to normalize relations with Cuba. They found that out during vacation. Howard said that you hate to see this Castro regime continue. Howard said that we do business with China though so maybe we have to. Robin said we deal with Russia too. Howard said maybe it will help in some way. Howard said he thinks they're for it. Robin said they are. Robin said one senator is saying that it's a mistake. She had some audio of that senator talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked Howard if Washington DC should be a state. Howard did one of his childhood speeches that he made up. Robin told him to shut up and sit down you moron. Robin said that they are looking into making it a state but it's not even a city. Robin said it's the District of Columbia. Howard said he thinks it should be. Robin asked why not. Robin said the current mayor of DC is pushing for it. Robin had some audio of her talking about that.
Robin read about the troop extractment from Afghanistan and how they are talking about re-examining that. Robin said they are asking for them to drop a hard deadline over there. They want it to be more fluid. Robin had some audio of the president of Afghanistan talking about that.
Robin read about the death of Mario Cuomo who died at the age of 81 while they were on vacation. Robin also went over some of the famous people who died in 2014. She had a long list of names she ran through. She mentioned a couple of people they knew like David Brenner and Joan Rivers. They played some funny stuff that Brenner talked about on the show years ago. They also talked about Casey Kasem finally being buried in Norway while they were away. Robin mentioned that George Hamilton died this year. Howard said he knows that guy wanted to kick his ass. Gary corrected Robin saying that he is not dead. Gary said that George Hamilton the country singer is dead, not the actor. Robin ran through a few more names and wrapped up her news. They were done around 11:00am.
Jon said they heard about Benjy and his sweating. He said they saw Benjy and Elisa there and then Howard invited them over to sit. He said Benjy said he was terrified and he wasn't able to stop sweating. He played a clip of Howard talking about that.
Jon said that people do get nervous around Howard. He said that sometimes it can be intimidating. He said that it can be a tricky thing. Jon said they're all there having a good time and it's always a peculiar dynamic. He said they do have a great time at those parties though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if it's a feather in his cap or an insult that Howard raves about his wife and puts him down. He also wondered how he'd rate the other guy's wives in a top 5. Jon said he has to think about that one. He said he loves his wife and she is the most beautiful thing in the world. Jon said it's a huge insult when Howard talks about how they can have sex because of how big he is. Jon said he's very proud of people talking about how pretty his wife is. He said that's a compliment no matter what.
Jon said that the wives there are much better looking than the guys there. Jon said he thinks that he traded up. He said he's thankful that she keeps him around. Jon said that they've been together for like 30 years. He said that's a really long time. Jon said that you do wonder who is going to be in the cross hairs at these parties. He said everyone pretty much behaved. He said Ronnie is the one that Howard spent a lot of time talking about today. He played another clip of Howard talking to Ronnie about his Karaoke singing.
Jon said Ronnie was very defensive and Howard was trying to make a point about not sharing the microphone. He said he knows that night Ronnie must have been thinking that he was going to get his balls broken. He said Ronnie doesn't really care though. Jon said that it can be off putting. Jon said that Ronnie doesn't just do this at the holiday party though. Jon spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how the extra hour thing is for them. Jon said it's great but it's a change in your routine and that's something they have to get used to. Jon said that they're shifting an hour but they have to get used to it. Jon said Howard has been doing a 6am show for a very long time. He said Howard was already complaining about it today. He said the start time is there and there to stay.
Jon asked the caller how it's affecting him. The caller said that he has to take 2 days off from work to call into the show. He said that he's thinking Howard was offered a show on HBO or something like that. He said that way he can do what he wants and still be uncensored. Jon and the caller spent a minute talking about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Ronnie and his behavior at the holiday party. He said that he thinks Ronnie is an older guy and there is a point when you have to wonder how old the guy is running the party. Jon said he is an older guy but he is one of the youngest acting guys they work with. Jon said his spirit is very young. He said he's the life of the party and he doesn't mind it. The caller said he used to be like that but he got older and realized that he shouldn't be. He said he didn't want to be the guy who stood out like that.
Jon said he thinks that Ronnie and Sal will always be that kind of guy. Jon said that when it's the guy who isn't like that tries to be like that, that he doesn't like.
Jon said Lisa G is in there and he's wondering how she's doing. Lisa said she's getting up later now that the show is starting later. Jon said they'll take a break and talk more about that. They went to break after that.
Jon said that he's won the league 3 times and he has been very happy about that. Jon said that Gary holds that over everyone there. Jon said that Will is probably the best fantasy player there and that's what makes it frustrating for him. He said he's always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
Gary said that this year was very strange and a lot of people had to leave the league for legal reasons and medical reasons. Jon said that Gary is the one who won the title. Gary said if Rapaport had won he probably would have flown an airplane over his house. He said he thinks that Michael made the league fun this year. He said that he thinks that Michael and Matthew Berry really didn't like each other. Jon agreed.
Gary said he really doesn't think that the stuff he doesn't know about the football players should matter to Will. Jon said that it's just a different kind of knowledge.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it's funny that Howard thinks Ronnie is going to be different at these parties. He said expecting a different result is insane. Jon said that Ronnie can do his thing but he has to give other people a chance. He said he thinks that's what Howard's point was. Gary said that Lauren was trying to have her moment on stage and Ronnie wasn't letting her. He said he thinks that's what Howard was saying. Gary said that singing out of tune isn't that funny after the 18th time. He said it's funny once or twice.
Jon asked Lisa G what she had in the news today. Lisa ran down a few headlines for today's Howard 100 News. She got in a plug for Leiberman Live too. Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:35am.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard started the show talking about how relaxed he is with the new show start time. He said he's getting that extra hour of sleep. He said he loves sleep. Howard said he loves everyone when he's well rested. He said that will change in about an hour. He said he went to bed around 9:30 last night. Robin said that's her problem. She said she has to go to bed early so she can get enough sleep. Howard said she didn't explain that to him.
Howard said he was watching the tribute to Billy Joel. He said he likes people singing to someone when they're in a balcony. He said he's finally getting his due.
Howard said yesterday was a blur. He said he had so many Christmas cards to open. He said he had about a thousand. Howard said it was exhausting. He said it took him like an hour to get it done. Howard said the nicest card he got was from Robin. He said her note was even better than the gift. Howard said he was writing thank you notes to everyone. He said he sent one to Fred and Alison. He said he always does that. That's part of being a human being.
Howard said he loves the police but people are running around yelling about them. Howard said that they're not all bad. Howard said when a cop tells you to get on the ground just do it. Howard said you don't make comments. Howard said he has audio of a guy who is obviously taping himself. Howard said this guy refuses to get on the ground and you're rooting for the cop to shoot him in the head. Howard said this guy is a nudnik. Howard played the clip and the cops were yelling at him to get on the ground. Howard said this guy is saying he didn't do anything. The cop doesn't care. Howard said that you just get on the ground. He said he would get right down on the ground. Howard said if you're not listening to the cop you're doing something wrong. Howard played more of the clip and the guy says that they don't have any weapons. He's arguing with the cop like the cop should believe what he's saying. The guy says he doesn't like a gun being pointed at him. Robin said people think they know their rights from watching TV. The guy in the clip was yelling that he was scared. Howard said that he's saying he hasn't committed a crime but the cops don't know that. Then the guy was lecturing the cop saying that they're both men and he should put down the badge or the gun. The guy goes on and on
Howard said that's the reality of being a police officer. Howard said he was talking to a guy yesterday who had just joined the NYPD. He said he wished him luck. He said that he will have to deal with people like that. Howard said you just shut the fuck up and lay down. Howard said you have to be out of your mind to become a cop now. Howard said that they separate us from being in complete lawlessness. Howard said the cops are slowing down and the murder rates are up now. Robin said there was a big shoot out last night and the cops ended up in a gun fight. Howard said that's what's going on out there.
Howard said yesterday they played a prank call where they called a guy who was unintelligible with clips of him doing his Elephant Man voice. Howard replayed the clip. Howard said that they found the only guy more unintelligible than the Elephant Man.
After playing that clip Howard they have a remarkable phony phone call. He said that they recorded the unintelligible guy and called him with his own voice. Howard said this is Unintelligible Guy calling himself. Howard played that clip and the guy was having a conversation with himself. He said he defies anyone to understand what's going on there.
Howard said JD loves that. He said he wonders why it's funny because he understands every word of it. Robin said she's amazed that the guy picks up the phone at all. Robin said that he seems to understand every word no matter what it is. Howard said they cracked each other up at one point and he's not sure why. Howard said he could listen to that all day long. He said it's like an archeologist going back and trying to figure something out. Howard said that may be nominated as 2015's best. Howard said you don't know how that will work out.
The caller said that she is a 32 year fan and she said she hopes that he re-signs. Howard thanked her for that and let her go. Howard said he should have asked her how much she weighs. Howard said that factors into how much he likes someone.
Howard said that they have some audio of what it would sound like if Beetlejuice was in Downton Abby. Howard played the clip of Beet yelling at someone in a clip from the TV show.
Howard said someone asked in the email about when they're going to look at what's between Nicole Bass' legs. Gary said they are thinking the week after next. He said they're working on that. Howard said he may suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Snatch Disorder) after seeing it many years ago because he doesn't remember it at all. Howard played a Post Traumatic Snatch Disorder PSA that they created using clips of Robin talking about what she saw down there. Howard also played a song parody about Nicole. They also played a ''Sexy Sounds of Barry White'' bit as they were going to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said that Taylor Swift has had an amazing amount of hits. Howard played Robin singing that number 1 song. Howard asked if there's anything Robin can't do. Robin said she can do everything. Howard had her singing the Hozier song too. Howard said she sings better than Big Foot. Howard played a clip of him singing the same song. Howard played Robin singing ''All about that Bass'' too. Howard said he prefers her version to Mariann from Brooklyn's. Howard said Cosby sings that one too. He played a quick clip of that.
Howard said they're doing a roast of Bill Cosby. He played a bit they created with celebrity impersonators roasting Bill Cosby for a phony Comedy Central Roast. Howard said he would like that. Robin said if they only could roast Bill Cosby. Howard said Gilbert is tied up with The Apprentice so it might be hard to get him for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't there. Howard kept saying hello to Eddie but he wasn't there. Howard said he should do that for an hour.
Mike said he wants to say that Robin brought up Peaky Blinders which is another good one. Howard said he's done with this. Robin said that the show Wentworth is another prison show that's interesting.
Howard took a call from Denise (Sal) who was playing a manly man. Howard asked if he was Irish like Claire was. Denise said he got his cock stuck in his zipper and had to go. Howard let him go after that. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that it's time for Robin's boyfriend to come in. He said Bradley Cooper is there. Gary came in and said that he's just finishing up in the bathroom. He showed up a few seconds later. Howard said they were both peeing at the same time. Howard said they're on the same wavelength.
Howard asked if he grew his hair longer for Elephant Man. Bradley said he did. He did that to make his head look bigger. Bradley said that he knew that was going to come up today. He said he was going to have a conversation with Howard but they'd have to turn the camera off. Howard said they don't broadcast it. Bradley said that he just doesn't want anyone seeing it. Howard said that he should wear a bag over his head. Gary said he can turn the camera off. Howard said they're going to have a conversation as Elephant Men. Howard asked what they are going to talk about. Bradley said they should introduce themselves to each other.
Gary confirmed that the camera was off. Howard said he can get right into it. Bradley said he needs a second to get into it. Robin was laughing before they even started. Howard said he won't be able to look at Bradley. Howard said he feels like he's back acting on Private Parts. Bradley was laughing at Howard already. He wasn't even doing anything. Howard said he saw the play and he doesn't remember what he did. Bradley did his Elephant Man and they all started cracking up. Howard said they have to do it. Howard said Robin isn't helping. Howard became Joseph Merrick and did his impression. Bradley did it too but he kept laughing. Howard said he's some actor. He said he's been nominated for an Academy Award. Howard and Bradley had a little bit of a conversation as Elephant Men. They were able to get through a couple of lines without laughing but then they would just start laughing. Howard told Brad to kiss him. Bradley said Howard is in the zone. Howard kept going and then they were slurping and making all kinds of weird noises.
Howard said that he's not sure how he'd get through doing that part. He said he does it for 5 minutes and he's in pain. Howard said he was in the audience of Elephant Man and Bradley was fantastic. Howard said when he was in the Hangover he wasn't sure how his career was going to go. Howard said it was such a big hit that he got to choose some great material. Bradley said no question about that. Howard said he did American Sniper and Guardians of the Galaxy. Howard said that was a great movie. He said that he didn't know it was Bradley. Bradley said he did the voice every 6-8 weeks. He said that he got to come in and act with the people who had already done it. He said that they created the raccoon around what he was doing in the sound booth.
Howard asked if he became the racoon. Bradley said he was asking too many questions about what to do as a racoon.
Howard said he loved Bradley in American Sniper. He said it's a great movie and he was phenomenal in it. Howard said he has to ask him something though. Howard said he's one of those guys like Daniel Day Lewis who stays in character. Howard asked what the name of his character was. Bradley said it was Chris Kyle. He said he didn't stay in character. He said he loves Daniel Day Lewis and he has heard those stories. He said that you have to keep your energy in a certain place. He said that Howard does that with his show. Bradley said with acting in a movie you have to do that for hours at a time. He said that he thought about what the guy would be going through. He said he took it way too far. He said he met Christian Bale who does the same thing. He said they did a table read for American Hustle. He said the next day Bale was talking like his character and he talked like that until the day they wrapped. He said they would talk about the movie and all of that and he would stay in character but he was Christian. He said that he just had the accent. He said that's what he did in American Sniper. Bradley said he was playing a guy from Texas so he had to do that accent.
Howard asked how far he takes it when he's there on set. Bradley said he was talking like him from the moment he got up. He said he enjoyed it and it was kind of fun. Howard asked if he'd wake up and do it. Bradley said he would wake up and play audio of Chris talking. He said he'd play the stuff his wife gave to him. Howard said he would do that from the moment he woke up. Bradley said he did. Howard asked if he stayed in the voice when he'd get a phone call. Bradley said he would. He said he would apologize to people about it. He said he'd go out to dinner with Clint Eastwood and he'd stay in that voice. He said Clint would make fun of him for doing that. Howard said that must drive women crazy.
Bradley said he gained weight and changed his body for this role. Howard said he packed on 40 pounds of muscle. Brad said he did. Howard asked how long it took to get there. Bradley said that there is no Navy Seal look like Howard thinks there is. He said he just bulked up. Howard said that they portray them as big in the movies but in reality they want them to be narrow. Bradley said they have every shape and size. He said Chris was a big guy. Howard asked if he thinks that he'll be nominated for an Academy Award. Bradley said that it'll be tough. Howard asked if he gets pissed when he doesn't win. Bradley said that's ridiculous. He said he was nominated with a bunch of great guys. He said that he's fine just being nominated. Howard broke into his Elephant Man impression for a few seconds.
Howard said Bradley is getting some great roles. Bradley said he knows. He said he loves movies and he loves playing these parts. He said he doesn't think that he's going to be nominated this year. Howard said he thinks that movie is so good that it should be. Bradley said he loves the movie and they did what they set out to do. Howard said he loves the movie. He said he's not sure if it was pro war or anti-war. Bradley said it's not even about that so he likes that he can't tell. He said that Clint does a great job with that.
Howard asked how well he knows Clint. Bradley said he got pretty close. Howard asked if he calls him Uncle Clint. Bradley asked why he would do that. He said he thinks Howard would love him. He said he was talking to him about Howard last night at dinner. He said Clint listens to Howard. He gets up late though so he listens to the replay.
Howard said he knows that Bradley has a picture of Elephant Man in his dressing room. Howard said he knows he got into acting after seeing the movie The Elephant Man. Howard said he saw some really hot chicks at the play. He said one girl was dressed so hot. He said that she was showing off her tits. Bradley said he doesn't notice that stuff. Howard said he had to see this chick. Howard said she was so hot. Bradley said he doesn't see that demographic. Bradley said if they're coming for that they're going to be very disappointed. Howard said what he liked about the play is that Bradley is a good looking dude but he played that part and he forgot he was Brad. He said he held his fingers all twisted up and he does that for 2 hours. Bradley said he does the face thing and he can't do it to the right side because his face quivers.
Howard said that they made a phony phone call with his Elephant Man. Bradley said he heard about it but didn't hear it himself. Howard said that the play is very successful. Bradley said that a guy in the audience had a seizure when he was finishing up one night. He said he thought the guy was making fun of him but it was a real thing. He said that they had to stop the show. Bradley said that he had already died in the play so he stayed there. He said one of the EMT guys had a heart thing so they had to bring in another one. Bradley said he just stayed on stage and waited. He said he didn't think anyone could see him but his buddy saw him from behind the curtain.
Howard asked what he was thinking during all of that. Bradley said that he heard all of this stuff going on and people asking for a doctor. He said he could jump up and go down there but he isn't a doctor. He said that there were tons of people out there. He said he didn't want to break the illusion for the audience. Howard said that you just don't know what to do in a situation like that. Howard said he might get a write up in the paper saying he's indifferent to humanity.
Howard said that the play is doing very well. Bradley said it's doing amazing. He said what Howard said really helped. He said that it was touch and go for a title while. Howard said the play has been extended through February. Robin said she wants to go. Bradley said he doesn't believe that.
Howard asked if he has movies set up. Bradley said he doesn't and they're going to try to do Elephant Man in London. Howard asked how it was working with Bill Murray. Bradley said he loved it. He said it was great. Howard said that Bill was on the show not too long ago. Howard said he was great. Howard asked if he's an excentric. Bradley said he was a dream to work with.
Howard asked if Bill sticks to the script. Bradley said he does stick to it. He said that it was a Cameron Crowe movie so they didn't break away that much. Howard said Emma Stone is his love interest in the movie. Bradley said he loves her. He said she was great to work with. Howard asked if he fell in love with her during the movie. Bradley said he didn't. He asked Howard if he fell in love with Mary in Private Parts. Howard said he loved the whole movie thing. He said it was intoxicating. Bradley said it was amazing for them too. Howard said he must have to fall in love with her for the role. Bradley said his character fell for her character. He said it's not really falling in love.
Howard asked Bradley if he's really as normal as he thinks he is. He was on the subway this morning. Bradley said he can go around and no one notices him. He said it's the best. Howard asked if anyone ever mouths off to him. Bradley said they don't. He said he has headphones in though so they'd have to be right in his face.
Howard asked if he gets in that mindset that he can fuck someone up when he bulks up for the role. Bradley said that he figured that Chris was so secure in how strong he was. Bradley said he found himself being very gentle. He said he grew up looking like a girl. He said he was always ready to go. He said when you are a tough guy you don't think about it. He said he was ready to fight as a kid but then he gets jacked up and he doesn't think about it.
Howard asked how many hours a day he was in the gym. Bradley said it wasn't body building. He said it was all just about muscle building. He said he was eating 6,000 calories of pure protein. He said that he just turned 40 yesterday and trying to do all of that can be tough on your system. He said he asked the best people to help him out. He said he knows a chef who helped him out.
Howard asked about the movie American Sniper and the character he was playing. Bradley said that he got the rights to his book before Clint did. He said they offered it to Clint. Bradley said that this guy wasn't an amazing sniper at first but he had a knack to be in the right place at the right time. He said he just knew where to set up. He said he would scan an area and he'd have a sixth sense about things. Howard said that he saw that in the movie. He was also a legend. Howard said he had some nicknames. Bradley said that one of them called him ''Th Legend'' as a joke but then it became his real nickname because he was so good. Howard said what the seals do is insane. Bradley said that the intelligence to be a sniper is amazing. He said that you have to know so many things about gravity and wind and all of that. He said you have to be a physicist almost. Howard said you have to be careful of not hitting a civilian. Howard said if a kid is carrying a pipe bomb you have to be sure that it's a bomb before you shoot. Bradley said there are specific rules of engagement. Howard said you have to be a great shot as well.
Howard asked if Chris' legend was bigger than it really was. Bradley said he realized he didn't really give a shit about that stuff. He said that he got to know Chris and you can see he didn't care about that.
Howard asked if Chris told him that if he fucked this up that he'd kill him. Bradley said he did not. He said that he met his dad and mom and they sat down and talked. He said that he got it. He was sitting in the living room of the guy who was in those home videos. He said he was watching the dates knowing that he was going to be gone a few months later. Bradley said that their son died and a year later there are two guys from Hollywood asking to make a movie about their son. He said they weren't there to fuck around.
Howard asked why they hired Clint Eastwood to direct. Bradley said that Steven Spielberg called and said he wanted to make the movie. He said that he was ready to go. Bradley said that everything goes into third gear and they start going into casting and all of that. Then the deal doesn't work out. He said Warner Brothers wasn't able to make that work. Howard asked why that doesn't work out. Bradley said that he was a gentleman and he called him asking to make the film. Howard asked if he blows his stack over that. Bradley said he was just like ''Oh fuck.'' Howard asked if he called Warner Brothers and asked what was going on. Bradley said he was the producer but they just have to keep going. He said he can't just freak out. He said that they were told that Clint was doing Jersey Boys and they wanted to see if he'd be available. Howard asked if they think he's too old for that. Bradley said no way. He said the guy is 84 but he's still great. He said the reason the movie is good is because he's 84. He said that he's done these movies all along and he's got experience. Howard said he really did a great job with it. Bradley said that they were all serving Chris Kyle. He said that there is no huge scene where he did something big. He said he was calm and that's how they did it.
Howard asked Bradley about getting into shape for the movie. Bradley said that Clint said he would have shot if he hadn't changed anything. Bradley said that he wanted to look like that guy. He said it was all up to him. He said that he would have felt like he wasn't serving the guy if he hadn't done that. He said that they were shooting in Morocco in April so he had 3 and a half months to talk like him and look like him. Howard asked how many hours a day he did that. Bradley said he was working out and doing dialect with a guy. Bradley said he was riding a motorcycle back and forth. Howard said he's very macho. Howard said he's like a woman himself. Bradley said Howard looks like a Mercenary in that trench coat he's wearing.
Howard asked Bradley about the work out and how much he was squatting. Bradley said he was dead squatting 415 pounds. Howard asked if that's real. He said it was. He said that he feels like he's lying when he says that but he was really doing 5 sets of 8 lifting that much. Bradley said he had pictures of Chris that he would bring to the work out with him. He said one was him smiling and one was him giving the finger. He said his wife gave him the playlist of the songs he worked out to. He said he listened to that stuff when he'd work out. He said that they would blast it during the work out. He said it was so loud that you can't even talk.
Howard said he would be in pain if he was lifting that much. Bradley said that he had to get into shape just to lift that much. He said he could have hurt himself. Howard asked if he feels differently about himself. Bradley said he did. He said that was the whole point.
Howard asked if that was his whole life. Bradley said that it was and he hasn't done anything since then. He said to play Elephant Man he had to lose all of that weight. He said it's crazy.
Howard asked if he would ever do another movie like The Hangover. He said he doesn't think he would. Bradley said he loves comedy. Howard said he thinks he'd be afraid to do it. Bradley said that American Hustle had a lot of comedy in it. Bradley said he thinks that The Hangover was great and it doesn't get any better. He said that he thinks it was great and he'd put that up against any movie. Howard said he thinks that the choices get more difficult because everyone is watching him now. Howard said he has to pick and choose more carefully.
Bradley said that you do have more things thrown at you. He said that he could have fell on his face with the Elephant Man. He said it could have been a disaster. Howard said he took a chance. He said it wasn't a financial thing. He said he took that risk.
Howard asked Bradley about the people he has working for him and how much they take from him in fees. He has a few people but not all that many. Howard asked how he gets a script. Bradley said he gets them through his people. He said that's why he pays them 10 percent.
Howard asked if he really doesn't have his next movie lined up. Bradley said he's done in February with Elephant Man. Then he's going to take some time off. Howard said he's going to fuck a lot of people. Robin asked what he does for fun. Bradley said he won't be going to the Amazon or anything like that.
Howard said he heard that Taylor Swift wanted to meet him. Howard said Bradley said she was too young for him. Bradley said that's complete horse shit. Howard asked if that kind of thing happens to him where an actress will contact him. Bradley said it never happens. Howard asked if he would go out with Taylor Swift. Howard said she's like 25. Howard said he met her and he thinks that they'd work out fine. Howard asked if he ever has any women coming up to him at all. Bradley said not really. He said they come up to take pictures but they don't throw themselves at him.
Howard asked Bradley about kicking drinking. Bradley said that he doesn't drink and he won't even try it. Howard asked what his Epiphany was that got him to stop. Bradley said that he realized he only has one life and he had to make the most of it or he'd never reach his potential.
Howard asked Bradley about meeting President Obama. Bradley said he had met him before. He said that he remembers talking to him about young people and how to get them to notice. He said he suggested that he do Zach Galifianakis show ''Between two Ferns.'' He said that he thought it would be a great way to promote the health care program. Howard said that it's one of the most viewed things on the internet and Bradley was behind it. Bradley said that they were brainstorming ideas and he did throw it out there. He said he didn't have everything to do with it. Howard said that's so weird that he facilitated that. He said that he did something that made history.
Howard asked Bradley why he didn't try to sell him to this show. Bradley said Howard would have emailed him later and asked him what the fuck he was doing. Howard said that Zach must have blown him for that. Bradley said that he just thanked him and said it was very nice.
Howard asked Bradley to get involved with Zach and get rid of ISIS together. Bradley said that Zach is going to kill him for talking about this.
Howard said that they're talking about American Sniper. He said the movie is in select theaters now. Howard said it's already made like $4 million. Bradley said it's breaking records already. Howard said he thinks that he should be nominated for this. Howard said that the movie is great. Howard asked when they'll find out if they were nominated. Bradley said next Thursday they'll know. Robin asked how he found out about the American Hustle nomination. Bradley said he and his mom were watching the announcement together. He said that he was preparing for this role in American Sniper when he found out.
Bradley said that there are veterans coming back and we have to take care of them. He said that people are not dying on the battlefield. He said they are coming home and we have to take care of them. He said that there is a whole different mentality with those guys. Howard said the movie reminds you of what those guys do.
Howard asked if Spielberg came to see him in Elephant Man. Bradley said he did. Howard asked if that throws him off. Bradley said he actually likes to know who is going to be there. He said he knew Howard was there and he was looking for him in the audience. Howard said he thought that it was very unprofessional to wave to him in the audience. Howard said that he must be nervous in front of Spielberg. Bradley said he wasn't but he was when De Niro came. He said there are 770 people in the audience and you have to play the room. He said De Niro came up to him and said that he couldn't hear him because of where his mouth is pointing. Bradley said that he started laughing because nothing else was a problem but he couldn't hear him. He said that they ended up adjusting things there because of that. He said no one else said anything. He said he loved that. He said two days later Todd Phillips came and said he couldn't hear him either so he figured that wasn't good. Howard said that maybe the producer should have done something. Bradley said he's one of them so they did end up fixing it.
Howard said that it must be great to meet guys like De Niro. Bradley said that he loves meeting Howard too. Howard asked who he met that he really wanted to. Bradley said that Daniel Day Lewis was one. He said Clint Eastwood was another one. Bradley said that Clint made things very easy on him while they shot the movie. He said they only get one or two takes with Clint. He said that he asked him to be right there with him on the set when they shot some things. He said that Clint would get down there and tell him what he was seeing in the scene. He said they clicked. Howard asked if he went to his house at all. Bradley said that he drove him home once. He said that he dropped him off in the foyer. Bradley said that Clint was editing one night and he just asked him to drive him home. He said that was fucking awesome.
Howard asked what Bradley did for New Year's Eve. Bradley said that he went to a friend of a friend's house. He said that they watched the ball drop. Howard said that he hopes he got laid that night. Bradley said he did. Howard said that he was out with Beth when they were in Mexico. Bradley said he really has to go on vacation. He said everyone is coming back now and they're all glowing and lighter. Howard asked where his favorite place to go is. Bradley said he doesn't even know. Howard said he should go to Mexico. Howard said that's what he did. He said there were like 4 or 5 couples there. Howard said that they had Paparazzi there and they put up sheets around the pool and the Paparazzi all went away. Howard said that was his idea. He said that all they had to do was ruin the view of the water to get them to go away. Howard said they had a Mexican guy who put up the sheets.
Howard said he's proud of Bradley with this film. He said he thinks that he should get that nomination. Howard said he liked that Cumberbatch guy. He said that he liked the kid in Stephen Hawking's movie. Howard said JK Simmons in Whiplash is great too. Howard said that's a supporting role. Bradley said that guy played his dad in a movie.
Howard asked if he's going to play the raccoon again. Bradley said he is. Howard said he thought the movie was going to suck but he loved it. Bradley said that he thought the part was perfect. He said he got paid more to do that than he did to do a bunch of the other movies he's done combined. Gary said that the movie ''The Place Beyond the Pines'' is another great movie. He said Howard should see that one. Howard said that he asked Gary to give him suggestions and he didn't tell him that one. Gary said he asked for TV shows. Howard said it's all the same.
Howard asked if Bradley would do a TV show. Bradley said he would. He said it's all about the content. He said that it depends on what it is.
Howard said he hopes that Bradley gets nominated. Bradley said it would be great just for Chris and his family. He said that it would break his heart if it won. He said that it would be phenomenal. Howard said the way the guy died is crazy. Bradley said it really is. He said that he figured that if another actor played the part that it might bet nominated. Howard said he's not blowing smoke up his ass. He said if he fucked that role up he wouldn't contact him. He said he did contact him. He said that he thought he did a great job.
Howard asked if Bradley is going to bring his mother to the awards show again. He said he should bring his girlfriend. Bradley said last year he did bring his girlfriend. Howard said he thinks he's in love. Bradley stayed quiet. He just let out a huff. Howard went into his Elephant Man impression again. Bradley said all he's able to do is the sucking in of the air thing. He said that's all he can get out there.
Howard asked if he's going to be on the subway after the show. Bradley said he is. Howard said that the girls can find him there. Howard gave him a plug for American Sniper which is opening wide on January 16th. Howard thanked him for coming in. Howard said he will end this interview with his Elephant Man phony phone call. Bradley said he wanted to hear it. Howard said there was an article on Page Six about Bradley being in the subway defacing the posters for Selma to make sure he's nominated. Howard said that is not true of course.
Howard played the Elephant Man phony phone call as they were wrapping up. Bradley asked if they can call that guy. Howard asked Sal if he has the number. Sal came in and said that they got the number from some guys that Richard met. He said they can try to get him on the phone and then Howard and Bradley can do their Elephant Man voices. Bradley said that he'll just do the heavy breathing stuff. Howard said that he can do the impression. Howard told Sal to get the guy on the phone. He said they have to tell him he's on radio though. Howard said that it may not be great. Howard told Bradley to throw in anything he thinks is funny. Howard said he usually wouldn't do this but Bradley wanted to do it. Howard said that he's going to prepare now. Howard did his Elephant Man voice and Bradley did some of his.
Gary said that they got the guy but he doesn't want to be on radio. Gary said he thinks that he remembers Richard. Gary said that he has to check to see if they have him. Howard said he was ready to put him on. He put his finger on the line that he was on. Howard said Richard is failing. It wasn't working. Howard said if they were smart they would have recorded it and then aired it after getting his permission. Howard said Bradley had to do it live on the air. Gary said Richard is still working on it. Bradley and Howard did more of their Elephant Man voices. Sal then informed them that the guy hung up. Howard and Bradley continued to do their Elephant Men. Howard said it could have been horrible or great. Howard wrapped up with Bradley and said that their dueling Elephant Man will be called Dumb and Dumber Three. Howard thanked him for coming in and went to break after that. As they went to break they played a RambOprah commercial parody
Howard came back and said that was Billy Joel and the highlight of 2014 was the Town Hall they did with him. Howard said that Beth is getting 4 new foster kittens next week. Howard said the mother was abandoned when the owner moved. Howard said that this is why he hates people. He said they have a pet and they leave it in the house. Howard said that's their pet and they leave it behind. Howard said in this case the neighbor saw the cat and they called Beth. Beth told her to bring the cat to North Shore Animal League. Howard said the kittens are coming to their house and the kittens are going up for adoption. Howard said that they have 4 babies and the mother going up. Howard said you can email Beth at BethFosters@gmail.com.
Howard said that they will be ready for their new homes in February. Howard said Beth will be posting pictures on her Instagram this week. Howard said he really enjoys helping these animals. He said people think it bothers him but it really doesn't.
Howard asked if her parents knew. Taylor said that back then doctors would make the decision so she's not sure if her mother knew. She died 3 months later.
Howard asked Taylor if she felt like a woman. She said she knew she was a girl as soon as she could walk and talk. Howard asked if she sees her dad. She said she does. She loves her dad. She said he didn't raise her though. Her grandparents did. Howard asked if they sent her to school as a boy. She said she dressed as a girl from Kindergarten to 4th grade. She said she was molested as a child and she was forced to wear a boy uniform in private school.
Howard asked how many anuses she has. She said she feels like she has 5 because he has 4 ex-husbands. She said she falls in love easily and makes bad choices.
Howard asked how she goes about proving that Michael Phelps had sex with her. She said she has a forensic report on her phone. She said that her phone was breached on a certain date. Taylor said that the press saw her coming out of his house and they got pictures of her coming out of his house. She said that was the night of his DUI but she wasn't in the car with him that night. She said that it was the same day but later that night. Howard asked if she is looking to clear that up. Taylor said that three days after that they released text messages and naked photos of her. She said that she has a great body. She said she thinks she looks good.
Taylor said that she is a sign language interpreter and her job was in jeopardy because of that. Howard said now she says it's hard to get work. Taylor said it's gone now. She said that you can't be the news if you're interpreting. Howard said she wants people to know about this because she is a woman and people are calling Phelps gay.
Howard said that Taylor was on Tinder when she saw Michael Phelps pop up. Taylor said that he pursued her. She said that it popped into his feed even though she was out of his age range. Howard asked if it was sexual texts. She said not in the beginning. Howard asked if she told him that she was intersex. She said she did not. She said her vagina looks normal. She said that she has a clitoris. Howard said that Robin does too. Howard asked if she can get wet. She said she can. Howard asked if she has hair down there. She said she has a moustache above her lips.
Howard asked how Taylor met up with Phelps. She said she was going around the country staying busy with her interpreting. She said they eventually got together. Taylor said that she went to his house. Howard asked if she was impressed. She said he is an amazing specimen. She said that she went to his house and they watched a football game. She said they were watching videos and reading the internet. She said they're both like big kids. Taylor said that she was molested as a child by a Nanny's son and that made her childhood horrible. She said she had an uncle who did things to her as well.
Howard asked Taylor about being thrown in jail. Taylor said she was in jail for extortion. Howard said she wanted money for her operation and that's what she was arrested for. Taylor said that she was stuck in jail because she didn't post bond. Howard said she was thrown in a cell with 3 men and she was raped. Howard said she looks like a woman. She said that her license and birth certificate say she's female. Howard said that they went by the penis she had. She said that's right. Howard asked if the guy fucked her anally. She said he did. She said she was put in solitary confinement. She said that was worse. Howard asked if she had a big penis. She said she did not. She said it was small. Howard said his is small too.
Howard said Taylor was raped a second time. Taylor said that was at gun point. She said she was beaten. Howard asked how she got the money for her operation to have the penis removed. She said it as a dear family friend. She said that she spent about $15,000 on that.
Howard asked if she has had sex with men and women. She said that she has. She said she dipped into that. Howard asked if she has a period. She said she has spotted but she doesn't have a regular thing. Howard said good for her. Howard said Fred spots too.
Howard asked if she has to lube up. Taylor said that she has at times but not every time. She said she had to with Phelps because he has a long penis. She said it's not that girthy but it's long.
Howard asked how many times she did it with him. She said more than once and more than twice. Howard asked if she performed oral on him. She said she did. She said that he went down on her first. Howard asked if he thought things looked normal down there. She said that he opened her up sexually. She said she's 42 years old and he's 29 and he's very adventurous. She said that she's never done 69 and she's never had someone tell her to look at his penis going inside of her. Howard said he tells a woman to look away.
Howard asked about doing the 69 thing. Howard asked if she put her vagina over him and blows him at the same time. She said that's what she did. Howard asked Robin if she's ever done that. Robin said no. Taylor said she can't lick her own titty.
Howard asked if she has ever had a guy fuck her tits. She said that when they're that big they do. Howard asked if she watches porn. She said she doesn't even masturbate. Howard asked if she can't get off that way. She said that she can orgasm. Howard asked if they used a condom when they had sex. She said he did not.
Howard asked Taylor what she wants people to know today. Taylor said that this was all forced upon her. She said that the National Enquirer was going to run the story no matter what. She said that they had already broken up. She said that the story about why they broke up is up to Michael to tell. She said that she felt that it was the right thing to do by breaking up. Howard asked if he had a girlfriend. Taylor said that she doesn't think that's her thing to tell. She said that she was the one who broke up with him. Howard said she must have found out something about him. Howard asked if he cheated on her. Taylor said maybe. She said that's what she's saying. Howard asked if it was with a man or a woman. She said with a woman of course.
Howard said Michael is a straight man. Taylor said absolutely. Howard said that she blew him and had sex with him. Howard asked if she swallowed. She said she did not. Howard asked about what happened. Taylor said that he went to rehab and she asked him if things were ruined because of that. She said that Michael told her that they were good. She said she thought that they were still together when he was in rehab. She said his agent made things very difficult. She said that she had to tell Michael in an email that she was intersex. She said she got a lot of crap for that but it was her only option.
Howard asked who else she's had sex with. She said that some of them were famous. She said that her ex's were in the sports world. Howard asked who they were but she wasn't saying.
Howard asked about the break up. Taylor said that she confronted him in the email with pictures. She was being kind of cryptic. Howard asked her to just come out with it. She said that she was pissed off that he was with someone else while she was having unprotected sex with him. She said she found out he was with an ex of his and she broke it off because of that.
Howard said Michael Phelps is staying mum on the whole thing. Howard asked if she cares. Taylor said she doesn't care. She said she is writing a book now though. She said that it's about her life. Taylor said the Michael thing isn't that big of a deal compared to the rest of her life. Howard said she was molested and raped as a child. She said she was molested as a child and raped as an adult.
Howard said he doesn't see why she can't do the interpreter job. Taylor said that she has the media following her all over. She said that she hated that in the beginning but now there is good and bad. Howard said he heard there are people down on the street today waiting for her.
Howard said that if Michael called her today and asked for her to come back, would she go back. Taylor said she thinks she would now. She said that it would be to prove everyone wrong. She said this has all hurt. Taylor said that it would be good for her own validation as a woman. Howard asked where she lives. She said she's just outside of Washington DC.
Howard asked about how her boobs look. Taylor asked if he wanted to see them. Howard said he did. Taylor showed Howard her boobs. Howard said they're huge. Howard said Michael titty fucked them. Taylor said she has a great body. Howard asked to see it. Taylor showed Howard her whole body. Howard gave her a ''Wow!'' Howard said he wants to see her vagina. Taylor showed Howard that too. Howard said it does look pretty normal. Howard said look at that. Robin said she looks fine. Howard asked where her penis was. Taylor said she doesn't know.
Howard said he thinks he'd hit that. Taylor asked if he would masturbate to her porn video if she does one. Howard said he might. He asked to see her feet. Howard said they were small and dainty like a woman's feet. Howard said he thinks she's all woman. Howard said he might be able to hook her up with Bradley cooper. Howard said he can bang her in character. Howard said for anyone thinking of taking swimming lessons then do it. He said you'll get to bang tons of women.
Howard asked how long Phelps lasted when he banged her. She said he can go a long time. She said she's seeing someone now. Howard asked if she has 69'd him. She said she hasn't yet. Howard asked if he's famous. She said he's not but he used to play hockey.
Howard said she is exceptional. Howard said Taylor Chandler isn't her real name. She said it really is. She said she has had other names though. She went by David Roy Fitch and Paige Victoria Whitney as well. Howard said she's going to write the book and she has to get the money going.
Howard asked if she's going to do the porn. She said she's not sure yet. She said that the people at Vivid have been very good to her. She said they showed her how the business works and told her that they can make it as comfortable for her as possible. Howard asked if she can make a lot of money doing that. She said that she could. She said this would be a bid deal in her life though. Howard said you can check out her Covergirl feature at ScottFisherGallery.com
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he thinks that these other guys know her situation and Michael didn't. She said that some knew. Ralph said if you're gay then you go with a guy and not a girl. Ralph said the guys must have known. He said that she sounds kind of like a guy. She said she had a car accident and she has a vocal implant. She said that's why it sounds like that.
Howard said Ralph likes to hang out with a lot of Trannies. Taylor said that's not a good word. Howard said he's still trying to get used to not using Midget or Retard. He said he thought Tranny was fine. Howard gave Taylor some plugs and said that Gary is jealous. Taylor dated a Jet and Gary would love to date a Jet. Taylor mentioned a name of a Jet and his name was Calvin Jacob or something. Gary didn't even recognize that name.
Taylor asked if Howard believes her claims. Howard said he thinks that she's a very nice person. Howard said that the extortion arrest kind of hurts her credibility. She said that was 24 years ago. Howard said she seems credible but then again she could just be insane. Howard said he doesn't know these people she claims to have been with. Howard said that the has had people sit next to him and tell him that they're not on drugs but then he finds out they were on heroin the whole time. Howard said he's not that good at figuring this stuff out.
Howard asked her to fill her book up with revelations and then come back to talk about that. Howard asked if she will talk about the politicians she's been with. She said she doesn't want to hurt anyone. She said that she didn't hurt Michael though. She said that she hasn't said anything bad about him at all. She said she's been nothing but nice about him. Howard asked if she has been with any actors. Taylor said she has but she wasn't talking. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said that it was time to get to news. He said they were running low on time. Fred played her into her news with a song parody. Howard asked who that was. Fred said it was Eli Braden.
Robin started her news with a story about Slash not having a pre-nuptial agreement. Robin said that his wife is entitled to half of what he's made. Robin said she's going to figure out exactly what he's worth. Howard said she slashed half his bank account. Howard said the poor guy. Howard asked if they have kids. Robin said they do. Robin said the wife demanded that they work things out but then Slash filed for divorce. Howard said he should have a couple of bucks left over after that. Howard said they like Slash. He said he's a great guy. Howard said he would make Robin sign a pre-nup. Howard said that Robin will be with a guy and she'll be madly in love and he'll demand that she get one.
Robin said it's the new year and people are making resolutions. Howard said he didn't. He said he makes them all the time. Robin said he's perfect but the rest of them struggle. Robin said most people resolve to work out. Howard said Benjy was doing that but he didn't do anything. Howard said he gained a tremendous amount of weight since Christmas. Howard said he's a real mess. Howard said even Taylor Chandler wouldn't bang him. Howard said that Benjy must have gained 20 pounds since Christmas. Benjy said he can look like he lost weight in a week. Howard said he would do that if it was that easy. Howard asked if he wants another challenge. Benjy said sure. Howard said it worked. Robin said it didn't work because he gave up and gave in to the fingering.
Howard said if Benjy doesn't lose 50 pounds in 5 months then Perez Hilton can fuck him in the ass with a condom on. Howard said he can do that or blow High Pitch Eric. Benjy said Perez seems a lot better for some reason. He asked if he can have a reward if he does it. Howard said sure, he will be 50 pounds lighter. Howard said if he told him that Big Foot was going to fuck him in the ass then he'd lose it. Howard said he thinks that Benjy would prefer Perez over Big Foot. Howard said he heard that Benjy wants to fuck Jonah Hill. Benjy said that would be funny. Howard said he thinks that Perez Hilton would do this. He said he'll have to call and find out. Benjy said that Jonah wants to lose weight too so he'd like to do that with him. Howard said he'll contact Perez and find out if he wants to do it.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the new year's resolutions thing. Robin said people want to unplug and get off their phones and things. Howard said he loves being plugged in. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin said some people were upset with her for spoiling Celebrity Apprentice yesterday. Robin said that Keshia Knight Pulliam was voted off and she was on another show talking about Bill Cosby. Howard said Robin didn't spoil anything. He said she's on other shows talking about being voted off.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Cosby played a gynecologist on The Cosby Show. She wondered if he had an influence on that. Howard said he wrote the show. Howard said of course he had an influence on it. Howard said that's interesting. He said that he was kind of doing that in his real life. Howard said that's allegedly of course.
Robin read about Geraldo and Gilbert Gottfried being on Celebrity Apprentice. Robin said she thinks that Geraldo is the Gary Busey of the show this season. Robin said that he is the one who has been around the block and he's telling people what to do on the show. Robin had an example from the show. Howard said that show sounds like a nightmare. Howard said he'd rather be in the Arkham Asylum on Gotham. Robin said Gilbert Gottfried threw in some off color jokes with his group and he kind of sunk them. Robin had a clip from the show of Gilbert telling jokes. Howard asked if he talks like that the whole time. Robin said he talks like he does there on the show.
Robin said Mark Zuckerberg is starting a book club. Robin said he will read a book every other week in 2015. Robin said that he will create a Facebook page called A Year Of Books and he's asking his friends to join him.
Robin read a story about Duff McKagan has a new book coming out. Robin read a little bit about that and Howard interrupted with the name of the book that Mark Zuckerberg is reading now. Robin read more about Duff's book and what that will be about. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the cold and snow that's on the way for them. Robin said that it's not going to be a lot of snow though. Robin said it should move through quickly. Robin said that a lot of communities are banning sledding. Robin said that it used to be something kids would do but now there are lawsuits and people have banned it. Howard said this is why Sony was afraid to release that film. He said they knew that the lawyers would get involved.
Howard said he has to get out of New York with this winter. He said when it snows it's a nightmare. Howard said New York is the greatest city in the world. He said he doesn't know why they would build it where it snows. He said they should build it in nice warm temperatures. Howard said it doesn't make sense. He said they should build New York in Florida. Robin said that won't work. Howard said they should call this Florida and call Florida New York.
Robin read that there is some news coming out of CES. Robin said that Sony was being congratulated for standing up to the extortionist hackers. Howard said they didn't stand up to them. Howard said he did, not them.
Robin said that Samsung is saying that everything they make will be connected to the internet by 2017. Howard asked what we were doing before the internet. Robin said we were walking around not knowing anything. Howard said it was hard to even get the weather before the internet. Robin read about some of the other products that are being introduced out there at CES. Howard was hoping for something cooler than he was hearing about. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Mario Cuomo's funeral taking place today. Robin said that everyone is wondering who will give the eulogy. Howard said just imagine he comes out like he did at Joan Rivers' funeral. Howard said that was a surprise because he was kept off the list.
Robin read a story about Bess Myerson dying at the age of 90. Howard said she was the first Jewish Miss America. Howard said that she was very successful. Robin said that she developed a public profile where she worked with governments. Howard said she got into some weird shit at the end of her life. Howard said she got picked up for shoplifting. Robin said she brought her up because Mario Cuomo ran against Ed Koch and Bess Myerson would appear with him holding his hand as his beard when he was running. Howard said people questioned his sexuality. He said that he was embarrassed for Ed. He said he was such a good mayor and it was ridiculous that he had to do that. Howard said Ed never talked about his sexuality but he said it had nothing to do with his job and he was right.
Robin read a story about a 17 year old child who is being forced to get chemotherapy for her cancer. Robin said the mom is saying that she can refuse treatment. Robin said the 17 year old doesn't want treatment. Howard said that's ridiculous. Robin said the state has custody of the child and they are forcing her to get Chemo. Howard said the state is doing the right thing. Robin asked how he can say that. Howard said he just did. He said the kid isn't thinking clearly. Howard said it's like a retarded person saying they don't want to eat anymore. Howard said there's something weird going on there. Howard said he would do the same thing with Robin if she did that. He said he'd make her get it. Robin said she thinks that the girl has the right to not do it. Howard said she's not thinking clearly.
Robin read a story about the race relation problems that they're having there. Robin said they have a police force not giving out tickets or making arrests. Robin said they have a big problem because of race. Robin said Jay Z says that hip hop has had a positive impact on race relations. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about a hoax about the death of Ricky Martin. Robin said that just came out. Howard said that came and went and he didn't care. Howard jokingly said the guy who created that hoax was Ricky Martin.
Robin said that Dustin Diamond was involved in a bar stabbing on Christmas night. Robin said that's the one time when you shouldn't be in a bar. Robin said Dustin claims he accidentally stabbed a man while defending his date.
Howard said that Eric the Actor was upset with Robin for not mentioning his name yesterday when she went through the list of people who died. He had a phony message that Eric left for him about that. He played that and wrapped up the show around 11:10am.
Jon said when they started that interview it was all about the Elephant Man. He played a clip of Howard and Bradley doing their Elephant Man voices. Jon said that Howard did that prank call to the Unintelligible Man too. He said they tried to get him on the phone today but that didn't work out. Jon said Richard got on the phone to talk to that guy and Richard spoke complete Hill Billy. He said he was so charming but it didn't work out. He said to see Richard slip into that was pretty incredible.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought it was amazing when Bradley said to Howard that Clint Eastwood only does one or two takes. He said knowing that he must think that it's even more incredible that he's so good in the movie. Jon said the movie is really intense. He said Clint Eastwood is 84 and a Stern Show fan too. He said that he loves that he does that no bullshit kind of directing. He said that Bradley was up for the challenge. Jon said that he told some great stories today about the other actors he's worked with. He said that he kept things going with his accent and all of that. He said he really did a good job. Jon said Howard has nothing but respect for Bradley and what he's doing. Jon said he has nothing but nice things to say about Bradley himself.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Bradley wouldn't do his Elephant Man impression when he first came on the show. He said now he's comfortable with it. He said Howard is amazing doing it too. Jon said that they're both amazing at it. Jon said Howard has been doing it for 30 years. He said Bradley seemed like he didn't want to mock it at first. He said that he takes that role very seriously. Jon said that voice always makes you laugh. He said the film can affect you in a bunch of different ways. He said you end up feeling for the guy by the end of the film. Jon went to break after that.
Jon said that Howard deserves to be hailed there. He said that he's had these folks on the show all these years. He said he always embraces them. Jon asked if people believe her. He wondered if she should be telling guys that she is intersex or not.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to know what Jon thinks. Jon said he doesn't think she should have to tell the guys. He said that if she has implants does she have to tell them that? Jon said he thinks if you find out for yourself and you want to move on then you do that. He said these guys are enjoying themselves with her. Jon asked the caller what he thinks. The caller said it might have made a difference 50 years ago when they didn't have this kind of surgery available. Jon said that he thinks that it did affect her because she didn't have the operation done when she was a child.
Jon took a call from Tommy in Malden. Tommy asked what he thinks the fallout will be about the former Jet player. Jon said that there may be some discussion in the locker room. Jon said that the player isn't a major star. He did play in the NFL and there may be some talk. Tommy said he wouldn't want to be in that guy's shoes today. He said that he would have been bummed if she said she had done a Patriot.
Jon went to Shuli for some Howard 100 News headlines. Shuli ran through a few headlines and got in a plug for today's Leiberman Live. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology before going to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to make a comment about Benjy. He said Perez Hilton has already entered him. He said maybe if Sal and Richard dropped a load on his face that would be better. Jon said maybe they can do that while Perez is entering him. The caller said that's too graphic. Jon said he'll put that in the suggestion box.
Jon said Benjy is always talking about how he needs incentive to lose the weight. He said that it might be more about the attention. Jon said that some of them have a hard time keeping the weight off but some don't. Jon said he eats a lot of fast food himself so it's very hard for him to keep it off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that maybe Howard could challenge Benjy with doing another 5 years if he loses the weight. Jon said that Howard may not be up for that. He said that he was talking about how he isn't sure what he wants to do.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that she was wondering about Taylor taking her clothes off and if Jon saw her. Jon said that he missed it. He said that he was curious and he thinks that Howard's reaction to it was interesting. He said it's been a while since a woman got naked in the studio. The caller said Howard has said he wasn't going to do that anymore. Jon said he thinks that he did it for science this time. He said when Nicole Bass is in there that will be for science too. Jon said he thinks that Taylor did a good job explaining all of that today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Benjy should shut the fuck up and just lose the weight or lose his job. He said that's the kind of incentive he needs. Jon said that it's time to wrap up the show. He got in another plug for today's Sternthology and ended the show around 11:45am.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard started the show talking about how Larry David was going to be coming in. He said he met him at Customs for about 2 minutes a few years back. He said that's all he knows of Larry.
Robin told Howard that the name of Larry's show is not ''The Larry David Show.'' He had mentioned that when he said Larry was coming in. Robin said it's called ''Curb Your Enthusiasm.'' Fred played Robin's theme music that she recorded a few years ago in Guatemala. Howard asked if she regrets recording that. Robin said not at all. Fred said that's their Stairway to Heaven. Howard said their instruments should be taken away from them. Robin said she likes one part where there's a certain instrument. Fred replayed the clip. Howard kept asking Robin if that was the part she likes. She said it's all good really. Howard asked what the name of the song is. Fred said there is no name attributed to it.
Howard tried using Siri on his phone to listen to the song. Siri said she didn't know it. Howard said it says ''Stairway to Guatemala.'' Howard said he needs to figure this out and the guys out there aren't helping. Howard said they could jump in if they hear something like this not working. Howard said he had to have a talk with them out there yesterday. He said it's such a natural place for them to come in.
JD came in so Howard asked why he doesn't come in and suggest something. JD said he just went to Gary. He said he doesn't know the intricacies of the iPhone. Howard asked if he has ever done that with his phone. JD said he has and you can use Shazam. Howard said that's what he was looking for. JD said he didn't know if anyone else out there knew it. Robin said JD is arguing with himself out there. Fred said what he's reading says that you do need Shazam.
Howard asked JD if he has Shazam. JD said he does. Howard asked why he doesn't come in there and help. JD said he was thinking about it. Howard said Gary could have come in. He went off on Gary for not coming in with his Shazam. Gary said he was talking to Will about a bit that they are working on. Howard asked who is next in command. Gary said Jason and JD would be next. Howard told JD to hold his Shazam up to his speaker so he can get this song. Howard told Fred to play the song. Gary was going to try too. Howard had Fred play the song and then had JD and Gary try to figure out the song.
Gary said it had no answer. Gary said he tried it again and it didn't recognize it. Howard said you know there's a name for that song. Robin said they had sheet music so there must be. Howard said it shows how useless Shazam is. He said they're looking for something obscure and it's not working.
Howard said Jon got a response. He said that he's been up there for months. Howard asked what name they gave him. Will came in and said they put him up and he got 11 matches. They gave him the name Jan or Jane. Will said they didn't do anything to the picture of him. It's just Jon. He said they got 11 matches. Howard asked what that means. Will said that means that 11 women liked him and he liked 11. Will said there was one woman who got into a conversation with ''Jane''. Will said that there's a whole transcript of the discussion. Howard said he didn't see it. Gary told him it's in his notes.
Howard found the note. Howard said the woman is cute. He read the transcript where they talked about how cute they each were. Howard said just imagine he shows up and still says he's a girl. Howard said he has seen a lot of lesbians who look like Jon. Will said he was able to pull it off. Howard said Jon has a beard in the picture.
Jon came in and said that he's flattered by this. He said this is actually Sal's wet dream. He said he's excited he got responses. He said this is Sal's brainchild.
Howard said Michael played a hill Billy in Justified and he barely recognized him. He said he must have put some weight on for the role. Michael said that he didn't do it for the role but he is up to 210 or 215 pounds. He said he's 6'2'' tall though.
Robin said they heard some of his podcast and she thinks he was doing the trash talking right. Michael said that's the way you do it. Michael said that's what he thought. He said that he was also asked to be in the league and he wasn't the one who asked.
Howard asked Gary if it was great that he won after he talked shit to him. Gary said it was great. He said that you can look like a fool in that whole thing. Gary said Michael was number 1 for most of the season. He said 6 people get into the playoffs. He told Howard how Michael screwed up by taking Peyton Manning out in the last week. Michael said he doesn't remember what the reason was for that. He said it really didn't matter though. Gary said it did matter. He explained why.
Michael said that Scott the Engineer turned out to be the coolest guy in the league. He told Howard how some of the guys don't get how to do the trash talking thing.
Michael told Howard that the guys there were kissing Matt Berry's ass. Howard said he's considered a guru of fantasy football. Michael said he has a 12 year old son that helped him.
Howard had Matthew Berry on the phone so he picked up on him. Matt said that Michael is good with the trash talking. Gary said that Michael sent over 100 group emails and he probably sent 350 total to different people. Howard asked if the acting work was slow over those months. Michael said he has his phone on him all the time. He said it was a mental ploy. He said that these guys took the bait. He said they're not really playing football. Matt said that the guys are all working on the show. Michael said he's working too. Matt said the second thing he'll say is that the only thing that matters is the championship. He said that the regular season doesn't really matter. Matt said he was trying to gear his thing to the win.
Michael said he just wants some acknowledgement that this hurts Matt. He said he took him down like a stuck pig. Howard said that must kill Matthew. Michael said it did. Matthew said he's in a ton of leagues and he wants to do well. He said both of them made the playoffs. He said that Michael lost the week after he did. He said they were very close.
Michael said that Matthew played on these weak guys in the league. Gary said that Matthew predicted that Michael will finish last next season. Michael said he's willing to bet $5,000 that he won't. He said he'll give it to Howard's wife's charity of he loses. Matthew said at the beginning of the year he said he wanted to do that bet this season. He said that now Michael is willing to do it. He said that he will make that bet that he'll beat Michael next season. Michael said no to that. He said he just wants to bet that he won't come in last. Matt said that he just wants to bet that he'll beat Michael. Howard asked if Michael will take that. Michael said hell yes to that. He said 5 grand for that bet. Matthew said that it's whoever is ranked higher. Gary said this is going to get ugly now. He said everything is going to be scrutinized.
Michael asked how the winnings are $600. He said they're all working and they can only drum up that much. Howard asked how much he would put in. Michael said he'll put in anything. He said he's willing to put that 5 grand up. He said he knows not everyone will do that. He said they should get a sponsor or something to help out with that.
Michael said they have some really weird shit for the losers too. He said he didn't want to do any cum stained t-shirts or anything like that. He said he's not up for that. Matthew said that the punishment thing is kind of weak. He said they should change that. Gary said that they put out 5 potential punishments and no one wanted to do them.
Howard asked Michael what he wants them to do. Michael said that it can't be anything gay. He said it brings back too many bad memories. Howard asked what memories it brings up. Michael said it just got strange very quick.
Howard said that maybe they could walk around with a sign on them saying ''I Like Cock'' or something. Michael asked why it has to come down to that. Gary said that Michael is always talking about how he's going to fuck him in the ass and he's pushing the shit back up his ass. Michael said that's all mental tactics. Howard said that Michael doesn't want to do anything gay but all of his fantasies are gay things. Michael said he knows but those were just tactics.
Michael told Matt to admit that he lost to him. Howard said it had to hurt. Michael said that he knew he was furious because he wrote him a 2 page letter and made two spelling errors. Matt said that he shouldn't talk about spelling because all of his emails are filled with misspellings. Howard said Michael was expelled from high school so he has an excuse. Howard asked how he got expelled. Michael said he went to 9 different schools from the third grade to the 12th. He said that he was a third grader and he punched the principal. He said that he was disruptive. He said he was ADHD and all of that. Howard asked how old he was when he got kicked out last. Michael said he was 18 and graduated. He said he did manage to do that.
Sal said that he will grow 2 weeks of cheese on his cock to give to Michael. He said he has to step up and take it if he's going to be the man. Michael said he's not going to do that. He said Sal is a sick animal. Sal said he's the one who wants to fuck Gary in the ass.
Howard said it has to be an embarrassment for Matt to lose to Michael. Michael told him to just say it. Matthew said that you do want to win every match but in a week anything can happen.
Howard asked Matthew about being in the Jay Z league and what kind of stakes they have there. Matt said they may not want him to say. Howard asked who won that league. Matt said a guy from Atlantic Records won that one. Howard asked where Matt came in on that one. Matt said he sort of works with Jay and he's not technically in the league. Michael said that Jay Z could get any advisor he wants but the guy loses to Michael Rapaport.
Howard said this is fucking crazy. Matt said this part sucks. He said that it can change quickly though. Gary said at the start of the season he said that there was a lot of luck involved and now when you win there is no luck involved. Matt said that Gary made two huge moves that helped him win. He told Howard about what he did. Michael said that Jason blocked him from getting that guy that Gary got. He said they have weird rules in their league.
Gary said the weird rule is that the loser of the league gets to pick first. He said the new guy picks last. He said it's not an unfair block. Howard said he has to move on. He let the guys get in some plugs. Michael said it's great to be on the show. He said he's such a fan. Howard thanked him for that. He said he appreciates them talking to him. Howard thanked him and Matthew Berry for calling. They went to break a short time later.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said Larry David is there. Howard said people have asked for years why he hasn't been there. Howard said it's up to Larry, not him. Howard said this means he's arrived when he sits on that couch. Larry said Wow!
Howard said he has made a lot of money doing his thing. Howard said a lot of people say they should be friends. Larry said he gets the same thing. Howard asked him to argue why they shouldn't be friends. Larry said deep down they're both despicable people. Howard said that he is a miserable guy. Larry said he's really not. He said he's very happy.
Howard said he thinks that in the third season of Seinfeld Larry was told they were renewed for a new season. He was in tears over that. Larry said he didn't think he could keep it up like in a relationship. Howard asked if he didn't want to disappoint people. Larry said he thought that the last year was so good he wondered how to top it. He said he started out with the same thing on Curb. He said he wondered how to top it.
Howard asked if the pressure is removed when he does have a hit. He asked if he's afraid that people are going to run out on him. Larry said he used to drive a cab. He said he'd drop off a fare and then drive around wondering where the next one was. He said he'd have to fight for the next fare. Howard said that's what show business is like. He said he needed something more steady. Robin said he needed a job. Larry said that's what his mother told him many times.
Howard said Larry is a little older than him. He said Vietnam was coming up and he could have gone there and fought and died. Larry said he wasn't going to do that no matter what. He joined the Reserves instead. Larry said he signed up and that's what his friends were doing. He said he would have run off to Canada if he had been called up to go. Larry said at that time they weren't using a lot of reservists. Robin said that they were a back up to the draft. Howard said Larry spent time in the Reserves then. Larry said that was no day at the beach either. He said that he had to go to basic training. He said that he was in the petroleum storage unit. He said he had to go to classes for that. He said it was like 112 degrees in class. Howard asked if he had dreams of being in show business. Larry said not at that time.
Howard asked where he grew up. Larry said he grew up in Brooklyn. Howard asked if he had any encouragement from teachers. Larry said no. He said once he was asked to read one of his compositions out loud. Howard asked if that was a game changer for him. Larry said it wasn't but it was an aberration for him. Larry said in the sixth grade graduation book it did say ''writer'' next to him. He said he wasn't being encouraged to do that though. He wasn't even a good student.
Howard said Larry's mom looked at him and thought that he must have potential. Larry said he doesn't think she did. He said he didn't have much potential at all. Howard asked if his dad talked to him much. Larry said they talked but not in terms of what he would do when he gets older.
Howard asked Larry if he had any idea he was going to be a writer. Larry said there was no talk of his future at all. He said he never gave it a second thought. He said he never thought about the future. Larry kept clearing his throat. Howard said he has a bottle of water for him. Someone else gave him a bottle. Larry said people would ask him what he was going to do and he figured that he'd just figure it out himself.
Larry said he got into the reserves and he was crying the first night he was there. Howard said that there are a lot of people there. He said a lot of people didn't get him. Larry said that's well put. Howard asked if the drill sergeants were mean to him. Larry said they would come into the room at 4:45 in the morning to get up. He said they'd just scream at you. He said this was before 5 in the morning. Howard asked if he tried to explain that he was trying to avoid the draft. Larry said he doesn't think he did that.
Howard asked if he was any good at shooting. Larry said he can't say he's a natural sniper. He said once you line up a target all you have to do is press the trigger and it gets close. Howard said he must have been good. Larry said he was the lowest grade of a marksman. Larry said he had to go to meetings once a month too. He said back then they all had the Jew Fro and he had to wear a wig. He said he would go into Brooklyn for the weekend and he'd spend all day in an airplane hanger. Then he heard about a psychiatrist who was writing letters to get people out of the reserves. He said that the whole thing wasn't him. He said he had to get out.
Howard asked why he wore a wig. Larry said he did that to hide his Jew Fro. He said that he'd make it look like it was a crew cut. Howard asked if he has any pictures from then. Larry said he wishes he did.
Howard asked Larry if he went to that psychiatrist. Larry said he got the name of the guy and he went to see him. He said he borrowed $350 and went to see him. He said he was trying to act a little crazy. He said he thinks he was looking for that. Howard asked if he wore the wig. Larry said he didn't but he should have. Larry said that he got the letter and he read it. He said according to the letter he was stark raving mad. He said he took the letter to his commanding officer. He said he knows all of these people and he had to act the letter now. He said this was just a month later. He was fine a month ago. Larry said he walked into the hangar and he isolated himself from everyone. He said he was darting his eyes around and he was saying hello to everyone. Larry said that he saw people nudging each other asking what was going on. He said he went up to one of the sergeants and asked to see the major. Larry said he gave the letter to the major and he was acting out this role. He said after 5 minutes the guy asked him if he could drive home. Larry said he could drive and he's a good driver. Robin said he's like Rain Man. Larry said that's what he thought when he saw Rain Man. Larry said he ended up getting out with that letter.
Howard asked if they put that stuff on his permanent record. Larry said he's not sure if there is one. Howard said that he heard about a lot of crazy things that people did to get out of serving. Larry said that it never occurred to him that he could have just said he was a homosexual.
Howard said Larry gets out of the military and then he takes a series of weird jobs. He said they had nothing to do with show business. He was a cab driver and what else. Larry said he was a private chauffeur. He said he worked for a car service called Dave El. He said that it was just 4 cars at the time. Howard said he was in at the ground floor. Howard asked if he takes cars now and gives big tips. Larry said he tells them that he used to drive. He said then he tells the guy how to go and he doesn't get offended. Howard asked if he was good at driving. Larry said driving a cab and limo in New York made him a great driver. He said that's the only thing he has competence at. He said that he's got no sense of direction though.
Howard asked if all of this is necessary for being a comedy writer. Larry said they are helpful. Howard said that most of the Seinfeld episodes are based on things that happened in his life. Howard said in one episode George, who is basically Larry, goes to work and pretends that nothing happened after he mouthed off to his boss. Howard said Larry was hired as a writer on Saturday Night Live and none of his scripts were ever chosen. Larry said it was a total failure. Howard said he thought it was one of their best seasons. Howard said they had Julia Louis Dreyfus on that year. Howard said that Larry got in there and within 5 weeks he was irritated and disgusted with the job. Larry said his sketches did very well at the read through. Then they'd get cut week after week. Larry said he thought they were funny. He said the writers liked them. Larry said then one night before the show he got another sketch cut. He said 25 minutes before the show started he had enough. Howard said he needed the money though, right. Larry said he did. Larry said Dick Ebersol was there and he had headphones on. He said he marched over to Dick and said this fucking show stinks. He said he yelled that it was shit and he was done and gone. He said he was out. Howard asked if he did that so the whole cast would hear it. Larry said he was going with how he was feeling. Howard said Dick must have been furious. Larry said he didn't pay much attention to him. He said he ended up storming out.
Howard said then Larry goes home. Larry said he was walking home in the cold and he started to compute how much that cost him. Howard said Larry's friend Kenny Kramer told him to just go back on Monday and pretend it didn't happen. Larry said that's right and he did that. He said he went back to work on Monday. Larry said that he walked into the meeting and everyone had heard the outburst. He said he sat down and they went around to everyone. He said that Dick didn't see him at first. He said he told Dick what he was thinking about doing and no one said anything. He said no one was upset with him at all. Howard said that was such a profound experience that he wrote an episode of Seinfeld based on that. Larry said he did.
Howard asked Larry if he and Jerry had equal say in the scripts. Larry said he would tell Jerry what he was going to do. He said that The Contest was in his notebook for 3 years. He said that was the masturbation episode. Howard said that happened in his real life. Larry said it did. He said he didn't mention it to Jerry because he thought it was so out of the question that he wouldn't want to do it. Howard said they had to craft it in such a way that it would pass for network TV. Howard asked how they did that. Larry said they had a board with all upcoming shows on it. He said the network would come in and ask about them. Larry said he didn't want to put that one on the board. He said he knew it was something special. Larry said then he had worked himself up into a lather. He said he was going to quit if they didn't do the show. Larry said he was ready to leave over that. Larry said he was going to leave if they didn't let them do it.
Howard said Larry also threatened to leave over the Chinese Restaurant episode. Larry said he probably did. He said the network hated that show. Howard said he has to put his foot down for something like that. Larry said he was in a position where he could do that. He didn't have any kids. Howard asked if Jerry would try to talk him into staying. Larry said that Jerry would say they'd work it out. Howard asked if he loves Jerry. Larry said yes.
Howard said Larry never thought about being in the show. Larry said he didn't think about that once. Howard said it has to weigh on him that he wrote the show and no one knew who he was. Larry said it never bothered him at all. He said he was happy doing that. Robin said some of the best parts of Curb Your Enthusiasm were when Larry would have to explain to people who he was and why he was important.
Howard said Larry tried stand up comedy at some point. Larry said he took an acting class and that wasn't so encouraging to him. He said he didn't like the acting. He said there was something about it that he didn't like. He said he just wanted to keep talking instead of waiting for someone else to finish talking. Larry said he wanted to mumble or interject or something. He said he just had to stand there and wait for his line.
Howard asked if he was comfortable on stage. Larry said he's going to find out. Howard said he figures that it would make him mental. Larry said one day in acting class they were in front of the class and they had to put things in their own words. He did that and he got laughs. He said that's when he realized that was for him. Howard asked Larry if he did that in New York. Larry said he did. He said he bombed that first time. Larry said it was awful. He did 5-10 minutes and he was terrible. Larry said that he was treating the audience like they were his friends. Howard said he walked out on stage one night and stared at the audience and figured there was no connection and walked off. Larry said he did. He walked out, looked them over and said ''Nah, I don't think so.''
Howard asked if that's how he met Jerry Seinfeld. Larry said it is. He said that Leno was in and out back then. He said Belzer, Elayne Boozler, Andy Kaufman and others were around back then. Howard said Andy was an odd guy. Larry said he found him kind of annoying. Larry said one night he was eating and Andy was eating as Tony Clifton. He said he told him to cut the shit. He said he wouldn't break character. Larry said he thought he was really funny though.
Howard said that stand up didn't go well for Larry. Larry said he didn't make a living really. He said his father owned a tenement so he lived there. He said he was right around the corner from the Improv so that worked out for him. Robin said he was on some major TV shows back then though. Larry said he's not sure about that. Howard said The Gong Show was around back then. Larry said that they would gong you if you were no good. He said the audience would yell out ''Gong'' when you're performing.
Larry said that stand ups are treated differently than other performers. Howard said they get no respect. Larry said it's appalling. Howard asked if that's when his mom sent him to the shrink. Larry said that was before this. He said he was driving a cab and lost. He said he was 4 years out of college and driving a limo for someone. He said he saw this guy who was in a suit and dressed nicely. Howard said that would happen to him after college too.
Howard asked how he got the job on the show ''Fridays.'' Larry said he was a writer and performer on that show. Howard said that's where he met Michael Richards. Howard said this seems like the Wizard of Oz kind of life. He said it doesn't seem like a master plan but he met all the right people. Howard asked if he thought about Julia and Michael for the show. Larry said that Jerry was a big Michael Richards fan. He said he remembers they were casting for Elaine and then he watched a few women and he thought about Julia. Larry said he mentioned her to Jerry and she came in and had a meeting with Jerry. He said she got the part. Howard said she's remarkable. Howard said when Michael Richards would do a routine on Fridays it was electric. He said that it was amazing.
Howard asked if it's the end of sitcoms now. He said they don't seem to be that important now. Larry said he doesn't really watch anything. Howard said that's interesting to him. Robin asked if he watched before. Larry said he didn't know how to write one. He said he did a pilot for Gilbert Gottfried on HBO. He said it was called Norman's Corner. Howard asked if Jerry read that. Larry said he read a script of his called Prognosis Negative. He said that Jerry liked that and they just got along all the time.
Larry said he remembers going out to dinner with Jerry after about 3 episodes aired and saying that he couldn't believe they were letting them do this. Howard said Larry wanted the show to end. Larry said he did. He wanted it to end right away. Howard asked if he looks back and wishes he could have enjoyed it. Larry said that happens. Howard said that's what he does. He said that he looks back on things and wonders why he works himself up over it.
Larry said he was working himself up about this interview today. He said there's no reason for it. Howard said that Larry left Seinfeld before it ended but then he came back and wrote the finale. Howard said a lot of people bashed that finale. Larry said they did. He said that it bothered him at the time but he thinks that it was good.
Howard asked Larry if he's not doing Curb because of the whole Seinfeld thing. Larry said he can write the 10 shows in as much time as he needs. He said the past 4 seasons he had a few guys from Seinfeld working with him. He said they were collaborating on those shows. Howard said he doesn't really write dialog. He just tells people to wing it. Larry said they have stories and they just wing it.
Howard said that Larry came up with funny stuff on Seinfeld. He asked if he doesn't like acting. Larry said that once he's told what the scene is he's aware of what needs to be done in the scene. Larry said he knows where the scene has to go. He said he has the story in his head. He said it's up to the actors to fill in the lines.
Howard said in Private Parts he wanted to improv but they had to stick to the script. Larry said that everyone on the show auditioned and he worked with them at the audition. He knew they were good and they could ad lib.
Howard said Richard Lewis is on the show and he told them that they went to summer camp and used to beat each other up all the time. Larry said he saw him at The Improv years later after camp. He said he didn't even know who he was and didn't remember the name. He said he knew there was something familiar about him. He said that Richard remembered him from camp. He said they became great friends.
Howard said Larry and Jerry have made a fortune. Howard said he knows he doesn't like to talk about money. Larry said that the reports are so insane. He said that it's nothing like what they say. He said he won't say exact numbers but it's so untrue. Larry said when he was married half of it went in the divorce. Howard asked if it killed him to give that money away. Larry said no. Howard said he beat the odds though. He said he did all of that hard work to make that money. Larry said it didn't affect his life in any way. He said the money didn't matter. He said that he's okay with what she has because that money will go to their kids either way.
Howard asked if he is good husband material. Larry said he is not. He said he's not good boyfriend material. Howard asked if he was a good dad. Larry said he was an okay dad. Larry said the great dads don't have time for you. He said they spend all of their time with their kids. Howard said that's what Gary is like.
Howard asked Larry about cursing. Larry said he thinks it's a cheap laugh. He said that he will take some of the cursing out in editing on his show. He said that he doesn't like to over use it.
Howard asked Larry about the syndication money he's making. Larry said there is still money coming in. Howard said it has to be a hefty sum. Larry said it was never part of the equation for him. He said it doesn't feel right on him because he's not that guy. Robin said he does take that money. Larry said oh yes he does. He said that they're going to give it to him so what is he supposed to do?
Howard asked Larry if he feels like people want him to pick u the tab and things like that all the time. Larry said yes. Howard said there's an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where he has a kid asking him for a recommendation and it's all because of the money he's made. Larry said that it's a small price to pay to have that going on. Howard asked if it drives him crazy that he is expected to pick up the bill all the time. Larry said that some people do pick it up. He said Martin Short is very good about picking up the bill. Howard said he bets Richard Lewis never does. Larry said he's actually very generous to his friends.
Howard said Martin Short is a genius. Larry agreed. Howard said that Jerry wasn't a great actor but they crafted that show around him. Howard said no one ever found the right vehicle for Martin Short. Howard asked if he ever looks at someone and thinks he could created something great for them. Larry said he doesn't think in those terms.
Howard asked Larry why he does Curb Your Enthusiasm. Larry said he has so much fun doing it. Howard said that he has a play coming out called ''Fish in the Dark.'' Howard said he has never been in a play. Larry said he did one in 8th grade. Howard asked what the reviews were back then. Larry said they weren't terrible. He said that was called ''Charlie's Aunt'' and it was the Jack Benny role. Howard asked Larry if he's worried about forgetting his lines. Larry said he's terrified. He said he's not sure why he's putting himself through this.
Howard said this play is called ''Fish in the Dark'' and Larry's friend Lloyd Braun had a father who was a famous entertainment lawyer. He said Lloyd and Larry were golfing one day and talking about his father. Howard said Larry turns to him and says that it's a play what they're talking about. Howard said Larry went home from the match and wrote a play about what Lloyd told him. Howard said Lloyd must have been floored. Howard said he was so moved by it that he went home and wrote about it. Larry said he wasn't moved emotionally. Howard said he was though. Larry said there was a lot of story there. He said there were funny things surrounding it. He said they had stories that seemed like there was a play there. Howard said Larry wrote about Lloyd's father. Larry said he wrote it but not to be in it. He said he didn't know who he wanted in it. He said the main character sounds a lot like him though. He said that George Costanza is very much like him too but he didn't play that character. Howard asked how they cast Jason Alexander as George. Larry said that he is amazing and he knew within seconds of seeing his audition that he was the right guy for the part.
Howard said it sounds like Larry has put himself into a nightmare in this play. Howard said it seems like he won't be happy doing it. Larry laughed. He said he could be right. Larry said that Rita Wilson is playing his wife in the play. Howard asked if she is encouraging him. Larry said she is. Howard asked if he goes to see him that he could forget all of his lines. Larry said yes. He said he is not ready yet. They're opening in February which is right around the corner. Howard asked if he would be bothered if Jerry came to see the show. Larry said he's fine as no one tells him they're there.
Howard asked if Larry sees Jerry. Larry said that they are going out on Sunday for lunch. Howard asked who will pay. Larry said that he will try.
Howard said that the play will come out and lets say that it's going to be a hit. Larry said that it's running through the middle of July. Robin said that's a long time. Larry thanked her for pointing that out. Howard said they're doing 8 shows a week. He asked Larry what he's doing. Larry said he asks himself that same question often. Howard said that he has to go see the play. Larry told him not to tell him when he's coming. Howard said he will.
Howard asked Larry if he lives in New York. Larry said he lives in L.A. but he will live in New York for 6 months. Larry said he's staying in a hotel. Howard asked why he doesn't get a little place. Larry said he likes the hotel because he doesn't get stuck with a bad neighbor. He said they're in and out of there pretty quick.
Howard asked Larry who the biggest influence in his life is. Larry said probably Woody Allen. He said he loved Mel Brooks too. Howard asked if he pinches himself thinking about how far he came. Larry said
Howard said that they didn't win a lot of Emmy's for Seinfeld. Larry said he stopped going to the show. He said that it felt good to be nominated but then they'd lose to Frasier. Howard said that they'd set them up and then they smack you in the head like you're not good enough to win. Howard said it does matter. Larry said it only matters for that night. He said if you're there you might as well win. He said they're basically saying that you're not good enough if you lose.
Howard asked if it was hard when they were first starting out and the Seinfeld Chronicles wasn't doing well. Howard said they must have been tiring and defeating. Larry said that he didn't pay much attention to the ratings at all. He said he didn't know what they meant. Howard said it's probably good not to get caught up in that. Howard said Bob Schimmel told him that he auditioned for Seinfeld and he was trashing the script. He said he turned to Larry not knowing who he was. Howard said Larry told Bob who he was and he just looked at him and walked out. Howard asked if he remembers that. Larry said he doesn't. Howard said he thought that was such a great story.
Howard gave Larry some plugs and asked if he's going to be ready for this. Larry said he's in much better shape now than he was 4 months ago.
Howard said that he wants to know about the real life masturbation contest. He asked if he was a big masturbator. Larry laughed and said he knew he wasn't going to get out of there unscathed. Howard asked how many people were involved. Larry said it was just two of them. He said that they had to work on the honor system. He said his friend was done in two days. Howard asked if he has made love to a Palestinian woman in real life like he did on Curb. Larry said he has not. Howard asked if he could overlook a woman being anti-Semitic. Larry said in the show he ended up fighting with his friend who is wearing a Yarmulke. He said that he fought with him and then walks into the Palestinian restaurant and they think he's a hero for fighting the Jew. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Howard asked Larry if he can come see the show and then come back stage and talk to him. Larry said he can come and see it and if he doesn't like it he can just walk out and say he never saw it. Howard said he may yell out ''Gong'' during the show if he doesn't like it.
Howard asked if Larry is afraid of reviews. Larry said he is of course. He said he won't read them though. Robin said people will tell him about them though. Howard gave Larry some plugs for ''Fish in the Dark'' which opens on February 2nd in previews. Howard said that it opens on March 5th and runs through July.
Howard asked Larry if he will come back. Larry said he will. Howard asked if it's true that he never took a picture and has never owned a camera. Larry said that is true. He said he doesn't know how to work the camera on his iPhone. Howard asked if he's Amish. Larry laughed. Howard asked if he has ever wanted to take a picture of the kids. Larry said he does Facetime and loves that. Howard said it sounds like some kind of OCD thing is going on. Larry said he just doesn't spend a lot of time looking at pictures. Howard asked if he uses Seinfeld's way of getting out of photo ops with fans. Larry said he's not sure what that is. Howard said he's not sure he should say. Larry said he'll find out on Sunday.
Howard said that he's glad that Larry was there. Larry said he had a good time. Larry said he would get questions from fans asking when he was going to do the show. Howard said they met in Mexico and he was surprised he came up to him. He said that he wasn't sure he liked him. He said Larry came up and said hi so he thought that was good. Larry said he wished that they were friends. He said he figured he was having a fantastic vacation. Howard said he figured Larry was having a great time. Robin asked if Larry tries to avoid certain people. Robin said she has a friend who lives near Larry and when he sees Larry leaving he waits for him to leave before he'll open his gate. Larry said that is possible that he does that.
Howard wrapped up and gave Larry some more plugs. He was about to end the interview but Gary asked if there is going to be another season of Curb. Larry said he can't say there won't be but the odds are against it. Larry said that he is done doing final episodes. Howard asked if HBO knows that. Larry said that it is possible and he's not ruling it out. He said it has been a while. Larry said he doesn't want to get back to the show and be 10 years older than the last episode. Howard said maybe he could just do a couple of episodes. Larry said he could do a movie.
Gary asked if he really thinks he can coach the Jets. Larry said that he thinks with a little studying that he could help the team fix some problems. He said other people do it so why not him? Howard said he couldn't do any worse. Larry said he thinks he could do it. Howard said that Larry hates golf. Howard said he played golf with two other guys and they got through 4 holes after 3 hours. Howard said that was a disaster. Howard said the guys he was with play too. Howard said he never plays. Howard said he was sickened by the whole thing.
Gary came in with one more question. He said Larry thinks that teams should never punt. Larry said he doesn't think ''never'' but he read an article that the odds are in your favor if you don't punt. He said that the teams should go forward and not just punt.
Howard wrapped up with Larry and gave him more plugs. Howard said that Larry's mother's dream for him was to be a postal worker. Larry said that is true. He said that was her dream. He said it's not that bad a job actually. Howard asked if his mother saw his Seinfeld success. Larry said she did and she couldn't believe it was happening. Howard asked if his dad saw it too. Larry said it was better than being a failure. He said the bar wasn't set very high. He said he just needed to have a job. He said his mother just wanted him to have a place to go.
Howard said the thing that he is thinking about the most is that he worked on SNL and only one of his sketches made it on the air. Larry said it was one and it got on at 12:50am. He said one night they went out to dinner and did a night of his sketches. Howard said he would go to see that if it was a play. Larry said he just wanted someone to see them. Howard said that's crazy. Howard said they've said it all. Howard said they're looking at the next offensive coordinator for the NY Jets. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Howard and Larry together was incredible. She said that she hopes he hears this because she loves his show.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he has a couple of things to say. Howard said quickly because he's running out of time. Hanzi said he has a lot to talk about. Howard played his ''Imran Khan lives with his dad and mom'' theme song. Howard said Hanzi wastes time when he says he has a couple of things to say. Hanzi said he'll hang up on him if he doesn't.
Hanzi said he thinks Howard has something to hide when it comes to the way cops are treating people. Howard said he is pro police and he has nothing to hide. Howard said that there is one thing separating us from complete lawlessness. He said that the criminals are in charge in some countries. He said the police force is full of people who risk their lives for other people. Howard said these people are willing to go out and fight criminals. Howard said there will always be people who get into it for the wrong reasons. Howard said for the most part they are brave guys and nice guys. He said that they choose that job to be that barrier between criminals. Howard said that no one is happier than when you see a cop when some lunatic is around. Howard said it's so fucking crazy out there. He said it's like the wild west. Robin said that we're not at the point where we can police ourselves. Hanzi said he thinks we are. Howard said we're not.
Howard said that he respects the FBI and CIA. Howard said they're all good organizations. Hanzi said they are not. Howard said they have averted so many things in the world because of that. Hanzi said the CIA recruited Nazis. Howard said this country also had slavery. Howard said we're not perfect. Howard asked if he thinks that the USA is a good or bad country. Hanzi said the elites are making it a bad country.
Howard said he really has to go. He said he has 50,000 people waiting on the line. Hanzi said that he's the best though. Howard played Hanzi out with another theme song about him. They went right into a break.
Howard said that he likes that David Steinberg show because people open up on that show. Howard said he likes talking to pretty much everyone except for Benjy. He said he gets caught in a vortex with him.
Robin said she read that Cameron Diaz married someone named Benji and she thought about Benjy. Howard said he thinks Benjy would do that just for the fame and notoriety.
Howard took a call from Bobo and played a theme song about him being the worst phone caller. Howard let that play for quite a while. Bobo was about to say something but Fred played another ''worst caller'' song. Howard asked what was on his mind. Bobo said Howard says he can't continue the show without Robin but what about Fred. Howard asked what else Fred is going to do. Bobo said something happens and Fred wants to go off into the sunset or whatever. Howard asked if he's hit by a cab or is he just done. Fred said a cab isn't going to take him out. Bobo said Fred is just done. Howard said if Fred came in and said he can't do the show anymore would he continue to do the show? Is that the question? Bobo said yes. Howard said he has to say that he wouldn't do the show anymore if Fred didn't want to do it. Howard said it wouldn't be fun for him. He said he's worked with Fred his whole career. He said he does a lot for the show and he's great. Howard said it would be hard to get up in the morning. Fred did his Benjy voice and asked if he would do it without him. Howard said he would. Benjy said he wouldn't do it without Howard.
Howard said Fred is a good man and it's the same for Robin. He said he can't do the show without Robin either. Howard said at this point he could do a show on his own but this show he can't do without those two. Howard said Robin and Fred know when to lay back and when to come in. Howard said they get it.
Benjy asked Howard if it would make a difference if Fred got ill or if it was something else. Howard said it doesn't matter.
Howard asked Bobo if he was dying a while back. Bobo said he had a spot on his liver but it turned out to be nothing. He said he has to get a colonoscopy too. Howard said he has to get one too. Howard said he can't eat that day. Howard said the colonoscopy he doesn't mind. He said he's under for that but he can't eat. He said it's the prep that bothers him. Howard said he's coming in on a Wednesday and he can't eat. He said then he has to drink that water that cleans you out. Howard said he has done it before and he knows how it goes. Robin said she doesn't remember not being able to eat the day before. Robin said that you can eat the day before. You just can't eat after midnight. Howard said that you have to be cleaned out. Fred said they don't want you to eat certain things. Howard said he can only drink juice and water. Fred said he doesn't know about that.
Howard said that they have one more song for Bobo. Howard had Fred play that. It was another ''worst caller'' song parody for Bobo. They played a couple and then let Bobo go.
Howard said that WebMD says that he's right about eating the day before. Robin said she was just looking it up too. Robin said you can't eat anything with red, blue or purple coloring in it. Howard said that if you can't eat anything then you have to avoid it all.
Gary came in and said the guy leaves his wife and two grown daughters. Gary said she claims to have 30 million dollars and she wants to fly all over the world. Gary said the guy thinks Misty has all of this money. Gary said the guy tells the daughters that he's leaving the wife but he hasn't even met this woman yet. Gary said that the guy tells Dr. Phil that the brother of Misty calls him. Gary said Dr. Phil tells him there never was a Misty. The brother tells the guy that Misty died in a car crash. Then a few days later the guy gets a call from Misty from heaven. Gary said the guy is out of it. He said there is no Misty in the Kennedy family tree. Gary said the guy doesn't get it.
Gary said that the guy is freaking out and they're going on and on. He said they track down this scam and they said that they think they just like fucking with people. Gary said he felt bad at the end because the daughters were upset about the whole thing. Gary said he couldn't turn it off though. Howard said Dr. Phil has really good producers. Gary said finding the guy is half the battle. He said getting him to come on the show is another thing.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that was a great interview with David Larry. Howard said it's Larry David. Speech said it's great that he can break down someone like that and show that they're just normal people. Howard said he has plenty of time to do that kind of thing there.
Speech asked if he would do an episode of Curb if he was asked to. Howard said he doesn't do that kind of thing. Howard said he did that for Garry Shandling on The Larry Sanders show. He said he had a reason to do it though. Howard said he might if it was funny and interesting.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Howard knows who the wife is on The Affair. Howard said he does. He said he's seen her in some things. The caller, Rich, said that he has seen her in a bunch of things. Howard said that she's really sexy. Rich said that he's talking about the wife on the show. They were talking about the chick that the guy is having the affair with. Howard said no one really cares.
Rich asked Howard if they read about the whole terrorist attack in Paris. Howard said he didn't hear it. Robin had the story and read about how this newspaper was attacked because of their comics about Mohammed. Howard said that's sickening. Robin read some of the details of the attack to Howard. She said there are at least 11 people dead. Howard said he's not sure what the answer is to all of this. Howard said he has a suggestion and Robin would yell at him over that. Robin said that she's with him on that. She said they don't want to live in this century. Howard said that they wrote a satire about an imaginary god and they're killing people over it. Howard said that when you think about it it's an imaginary friend that they're killing people over. Howard said we're in a weird world. Howard said he has so much stuff to do but he has to break.
Howard said that he has a clip of Ronnie partying with Yoko Ono. Howard played that quick clip of Ronnie and Yoko yelling. Howard said he also has a clip of a porn chick screaming during sex. Howard said that she sounds like a woman but then later in the film she sounds like an American Indian woman doing a chant.
Howard said they have a category now for porn where they have white women banging black guys in front of their retarded children. Howard said that they call the guy a slow adult son and he's an actor if you want to call him that. Howard said that the son has to be in the room and he's yelling about not wanting his mom to have sex with a Negro. Howard played a clip from one of those pornos. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he gets so angry when he hears these clips. He said they were so bamboozled by Scott. He said that he had trained so hard and they found that he didn't actually do all of the push ups. Scott said he did though. He said the judge said he did. Howard said he didn't do it. Howard said Scott went so berserk that they just had to give him the money. He said they shouldn't have given it to him. Howard said Scott worked out with Radu and he wasn't able to do the push ups. Howard said he was 45 years old and he should have been able to do it. Scott said he knows.
Howard played a clip of Scott doing the push ups with Radu yelling at him to encourage him. Howard said they were yelling so much that they weren't able to tell him that he wasn't doing them right. Howard said Scott was all amped up on Creatine.
Howard played a clip where Scott was yelling at the judge after he said he didn't do the push ups. Scott yelled at Howard that he had better pay off. Howard said it got really uncomfortable at work because of what he was accusing them of. Howard said they're too nice to him. Howard said they gave him money to start his DJ business. Howard said he's not sure why they did that.
Howard said Scott got fired up yelling at Gange. Scott said that was beforehand. He said that he used tape of him that he asked him not to use. Howard played some of that yelling too.
Gary told Howard they all thought he was on steroids back then. He said Scott came in and looked so weak that day too. Howard said they're playing that whole thing on Sternthology today. Howard said they did get some good radio out of that. He said Scott was such a sore loser though. Howard said no one else gives a fuck about him. Scott said he knows.
Howard said it ticks him off every time he hears those tapes. He said he heard that Scott was called the most fascinating man of 2014 on HowardStern.com. He said he heard Scott was upset by that. Scott said when they name you that then it's usually for good reasons. Howard said that Scott was upset about it because they pointed out he's smoking again. Howard said Jason asked if he wanted him to take it down and Scott said he could leave it up. Howard said he will take it down if he wants him to. Scott said he can do what he wants. Jason said they have a profile of Scott up there too. He said they can take that down too. Jason said they learned a lot about Scott last year. He said he was a serial car thief too. Scott said he didn't steal a car. He said he rode in a stolen car. Howard asked if he knew it was stolen. Scott said he might have. He said he can't admit to that.
Jason said they also learned that Scott is a crappy gift giver. Howard said that Scott said that he took a car every day after school. Scott said he didn't take the car. He said his friend stole a car and he rode in it every other day or so. He said he rode in it maybe 4 or 5 times. Howard said that Jason should take that down. Howard said Scott loves being up there. Jason said he was yelling and screaming about it yesterday. Jason said that he was saying they listed every mistake he's ever made and he told him there isn't enough internet for that. Howard let the guys go so he could get to news.
Howard said there's a guy with two penises out there and he wrote a book. He played a clip of what the audio book would sound like. It was a guy yelling ''Woo hoo!''
Robin read a story about a homeless woman who was caught having sex with a dog. Robin said the woman was invited to a house to help her out and the woman ended up engaging in sex with a pitbull. Howard said that's what would happen if Robin did something nice like that.
Robin read a story about Steve Kroft from 60 Minutes and how he had an affair with this woman for years. Howard said he's the one who asked Bill Clinton about his affair back in 1992. Robin said Steve was just married for a year back then so he never thought that would happen to him. Robin said this story will be released in the Enquirer today. Robin read about some of the texts he sent and he referred to his favorite colors ''pink and brown.'' Howard wondered if that was referring to the rumor that he liked to drink champagne from her ass. Howard said there are things that some people are into and that isn't one of those things he'd be into. Howard said he's not sure what girl would like that. They spent a few minutes going over that story.
Robin read about Bill Cosby and how Phylicia Rashad is speaking out about the Bill Cosby thing. Robin said that she's saying that he's an icon and she thinks it may be a campaign to bring down a legendary icon and it should stop. Robin said that she has said that we should stop listening to these women.
Howard asked Robin if she was offered money to live in an apartment free of charge with some cash, would she'd still work? Robin said of course she would. Robin said that there was a guy who is probably going to jail for killing his dad and trying to make it look like a suicide. He wanted his allowance raised and he killed his dad to make that happen. Howard said he probably thought he was going to get an inheritance. Howard said that wasn't well thought out. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Prince Michael Jackson hanging out with Justin Bieber. Robin said that he's partying hard according to the story. Robin said that they're going through women and recording sessions. Robin said they are out clubbing together too. Robin said that Floyd Mayweather is also hanging out with them. Robin said they say Prince is out looking at high end automobiles. Howard asked how much money he gets. Robin said his allowance is $66,000 a month. Howard said that's an allowance. Howard said that Michael left those kids money and the estate must be making a ton of money. Howard said that's probably tax free. Robin asked why that is. Howard said if it's money he already had then it must be. Robin said it's a payment so it can't be tax free. Howard said this dude is into chicks obviously. Howard said this kid is putting it to good use. Robin said Michael would have liked Justin Bieber. Howard said that's great that the kid is getting that kind of money. Robin said he has to hang with Justin Bieber. He's the only one who can keep up. Howard said this kid is making up for all the pussy his dad ignored. Howard said both of the sons are named Prince Michael Jackson. Howard said that guy was so fucked up. Howard said he bets that this kid will be drinking champagne out of chick's asses like Steve Kroft.
Robin read a story about how a New Mexico man thought he won a scratch ticket but it turns out it was a misprint. Robin said the winning numbers were 1 and 2. Robin said he should have won over $500,000. Robin said that part of the numbers were kind of hard to read. Robin said that the State says it was a misprint and they offered him $100 in free lottery tickets. Howard said he worked out on Monday and his ass hurts. He said he should stick a bottle of champagne in there. Howard said that guy might have to sue over that lottery ticket. Robin said he may not have a leg to stand on.
Howard said he watched all 3 hours of The Bachelor. He said that he watched the red carpet and all of that. Robin asked if they can talk about what he did when he gave out the roses. Howard said no one is watching the show but them. Robin said he gave the roses to the drunk girls. Howard said that's the only ones you give roses to. Howard said the girls are good looking this season too. Howard said most of the women aren't there for the right reason. He said the plus size chick is. Howard said the show was good this week. He said that it's all women and him watching. Howard said if he was smart he'd go to Bachelor Nation to meet girls.
Robin read a story about the Baseball hall of fame. Robin asked Howard if people should be kept out because of the steroid controversy if it's not proven. Howard said yes if it's proven. Gary came in and asked if he can talk about this. Howard told him to do it quickly. Howard said everyone proven to have done it should be out. Gary said that if it's never been proven then what. Howard said they can stay in. He said once you take something then you should be out. They spent a few minutes talking to Gary about that.
Robin read a story about people dying from binge drinking during the holidays. Robin had some statistics about that. Howard said Richard looks terrible lately. He said he's beet red. Howard said he must be drinking so much that he's the color of a beet now. Howard said it looks like Santa sat on his face. Howard said he asked Richard if he was in the sun and he said no.
Robin read that Constance Francesca Hilton died. She's Zsa-Zsa Gabor's daughter. Robin said that no one expected it. Robin said she was 67 years old. Robin said Zsa-Zsa is still around. She's not going anywhere. Robin said her husband isn't going to tell her that because she has the tendency to have strokes herself.
Robin read more about the 17 year old girl who is being forced to get chemotherapy. Howard said he's with them on that. He said she's a minor and they should force her to do it. Howard said it's like those Christian Science people who won't give their kids any medication. Robin disagrees with Howard on that. She said that she's 17 and she can decide for herself. Howard said the state has to step in sometimes. Howard said you need a government with rules. Howard said if a company puts out a bad product you need the FDA. He said this girl is being led down the wrong path. Robin said the 17 year old was diagnosed in September and the mother is supporting her decision to refuse treatment. Robin had some audio of the mother talking about that. Robin said the state has full custody of the girl now. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how young people aren't enjoying how things are going. She read some stats about a study that was done about how miserable they are.
Robin read a story about Sirhan Sirhan was denied freedom again.
Robin read that The Interview has made $31 million in the first two weeks that it's been out. Robin said that it cost $44 million to make.
Robin said that Bill Gates says that a glass of water made from human waste tastes just as good as any glass of water he's had. Robin said that he tasted the water out of a water sanitation device. Robin had some audio of Gates talking about that. Howard said High Pitch Eric is sitting on a gold mine if he uses that device.
Robin read a story about TLC defending a special they have coming up about Mormon Men who are attracted to other men but are married to women. Robin had a clip from the show. Howard said he knows guys who are gay and don't even know it. Fred kept playing clips of Richard Simmons while they were talking about that. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Howard said he has to take a break but he has to talk about this. He said some of the guys think Jon Hein looks like a woman. He said he does kind of look like a lesbian. Howard said they went on a lesbian dating site and put Jon's picture up as a girl. He said that they were looking for a date for him as a girl. Howard asked where they can see a picture of Jon. Jason said he'll put one up on the front page of HowardStern.com
Howard said he has Michael Rapaport on the phone. He said they were talking about the Fantasy Football thing yesterday. He said Michael is in that. Howard said he has to tell him how good he was in Justified. Michael thanked him for that. He asked how Robin is doing. Robin said she feels great. He said that's great.
After the break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria using clips of Gary playing trumpet to place the order. They also played a ''The Comedy Central Roast of Bill Cosby'' commercial parody. Fred also played The Rolling Stones ''Beast of Burden'' and then Jewel singing ''Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes'' as they were coming back.
After the break Howard came right back and took a call from Melrose Larry Green who said that interview with Larry was gold. He said that it wasn't even gold, it was platinum. Howard thanked him for the call.
After the break Howard came right back and took another call. The caller said that the Larry David interview was great. The caller said he really opened up about a lot of stuff. Howard said that's because they drug their guests so they open up.
Howard said he has some stuff to play. Robin asked if he's going to get to the Dr. Phil stuff. Howard said he wasn't feeling it but he'll get to it. Howard said Gary was at the gym and he saw Dr. Phil on. He said this guy comes on with his family. He said the guy's wife is dying and the guy goes online and meets someone named Misty Kennedy. Howard said she claims to be a real Kennedy. Howard said the guy falls in love with the woman. Howard said then the Misty Kennedy chick gets engaged to this guy and they've never met.
After the break they played a Blue Iris bit where she was playing a Bond girl. Howard said that today is the anniversary of Scott the Engineer's push up challenge. Howard said it was 17 years ago. Howard said someone said that he's younger than him. Scott came in and said that he's 62. Howard said he thought that he was like an old man. Scott said he's getting there. He laughed. Howard said Scott laughs a lot. Scott said he's the only one who laughs at his own material. Howard said if Scott is 62 then he was 45 when he did the push ups. He said that he looked 60 back then. Scott said he's in better shape now. Howard said he is not. Scott laughed again.
Howard said it was time for Robin's news. He played a Little Mikey song parody for her. He said he has a brand new one called ''Robin's Hot Snatch'' that he played. Howard said that was Eli Braden. Howard said that's very current. Robin said they just have to say that they like a song and it's a parody the next day. Howard had another one that was to the tune of a Joe Cocker song. That one was by Psych.
Jon said Larry told stories about how the Seinfeld crew came together and all of that. He said one of the stories he told that was his favorite was how he quit SNL to come back. He played a clip of Larry talking about that. Jon said that Larry showed up to work 2 days later. He said it turned into an episode of Seinfeld too.
Jon played another clip of Larry and Howard talking about Seinfeld and how Larry wasn't bothered that no one knew he was the force behind the show.
Jon said when Howard and Larry were talking about the things they have done in their careers they talked about how they dread doing things once they get picked up or turn successful. Jon said that the fear of failure seems to drive them. Jon said the play Larry is doing is coming out in February and it's scaring him but that isn't stoping him from doing it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they are getting an hour more of sleep now that the show is starting later. Jon said it depends on the person. He said it's not a flat exchange. He said that it's not working the way they think for everyone. The caller asked how much more traffic there is coming into work later. Jon said everyone is coming in a little later. Jon said he and Gary live pretty far away and the closer you get to 7 the more traffic there is. Jon said you have to compensate for the traffic. Jon said they're all adjusting to the new hours. He said that they will work out into a routine. Jon said when something affects your routine you have to adjust.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought the Larry David interview was great. He said the way Larry tells stories and delivers things makes it even funnier. He said the way he went off on SNL was fantastic. He said that story about getting a letter to get out of the war was great. He said it was way overdue to get that guy on the show. Jon said that his stories really were great. He said he had to agree on that.
Jon said people have said all along that Larry and Howard would get along. He said that Larry's timing and all of that is great. He said you can hear that interview all day long on the replays. He went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how great it would be if Howard and Larry did something together. Jon said it would be great if the three of them got together to talk. Jon said that all three are brilliant observationalists than those three. He said it would be a lethal combination.
Jon said Larry David was their second interview. Jon said Michael Rapaport was the first. He said that he called in to talk about fantasy football. Jon said that he was in the studio too because of the lesbian dating site thing. He said that he went into that whole thing and took his lumps like everyone else does on the show. Jon said that he's not a lesbian but Sal says he is. Jon said that Howard talked to him for about a minute and then Rapaport called in so he thanks him for that. He said he got him off the hook.
Jon said he likes to anticipate how people are going to react to things on the show. He said that you could hear that with Scott the Engineer from 17 years ago. He said that doesn't compare to what they have with Michael Rapaport and the guys in the fantasy football league. Jon said they're going to carry on through next season.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he didn't think Rapaport represented himself very well today. He said that the $5,000 bet was another thing. He said he seems to be ruining the league by intimidating everyone. He said if he was a member of the league he wouldn't have him back. Jon said that Rapaport is in the league to do exactly what he did. He said that people talk big with fantasy and Matthew Berry is one of them. He said that he has no titles in the league. He said Will has no titles. He said that Gary has one now. He said it's all about the wins and losses. He said you can say what you want but Gary has that win. He said that Rapaport has those things to say about how he wants to fuck people in the ass but then he says he doesn't want to do anything gay if he loses. He said Sal had the cheese offer for him today and he waned nothing to do with that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he is in a league and they have a punishment for the last place guy. Jon said not having a punishment is a sin and they should carry them out.
Jon had Lisa G give her Howard 100 News headlines. She did that and got in a plug for Leiberman Live. Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it was an awesome interview with Larry David today. He said he had something going on with his throat today. He asked if Gary worries about it when Larry has a problem with his voice. He asked if there is anything going on behind the scenes. Jon said he did give him some tea but you never want to interrupt the interview. He said that most of the time Gary's timing is exquisite. He said that sometimes it takes things off the track. He said Larry's voice got stronger and by the end it was gone. Jon said that some people get intimidated by Howard. He said Gary has to clear his throat all the time. Jon said he thinks Gary did what he could with that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they were talking about Robin and Fred leaving the show and how Howard would have to end it. He wondered if Gary left if it would be the same thing. Jon said he thinks that Howard would want to stop but he did come in later after Robin and Fred were there. Jon said that Gary was Boy Gary coming in and he grew up with the show. Jon said he's not sure what Howard's answer would be. He said the caller should ask Howard that question.
Jon took a call from Ralph Cirella who said that no offense to Gary but he thinks Howard wouldn't stop the show if Gary left. He said that with Fred and Robin he gets it. Ralph said that Gary is more behind the scenes and those guys are always more replaceable. Ralph said he thinks he'd be hard to replace but Howard could do it.
Ralph also said he loves Larry David. He said he always thought that Howard and Larry were similar. He said today it proved it. He said that Larry likes to get out there and experience things more than Howard. He said Howard just likes to hole up somewhere and not go out. Jon said it was a great interview and Larry said he can't wait to come back next time.
Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and wrapped up the show. He was done around 11:45am.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said Howard was talking about the new show start time and a caller asked how he feels about re-signing next year. Jon said Howard revealed something that no one knew. Jon played a clip of Howard talking about a how he doesn't know what he wants to do when his contract is up.
Jon said that Howard wants to do other things in his life. He said that he also mentioned an opportunity that no one knew about. He said he's keeping that a mystery for now. Jon said that it's scary for the staff because they don't know what's going on. Jon said Robin also said that you can go to sleep an hour later and wake up an hour later. Jon said that many of them are going to bed at the same time and getting up around the same time to get there early.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it seems like Jon is a really nice guy. He said he heard the guys busting on him about the lesbian thing and he wondered how he really feels about that. He asked if he thinks Sal is really a dick and doesn't like him that much. Jon said he does have ill feelings. He said he also knows what show he works on. He said for the most part he's left alone. He said he can go out there and complain but Sal is a close friend who breaks your balls. He said that he can really break them too. Jon said when Howard is breaking your balls you're embarrassed and you're freaked out but also flattered because you're part of the team. He said he knows he doesn't look like a lesbian and he's happily married. He said he thought it was kind of funny too. Jon went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said that Bradley Cooper came in this week and did a great interview. Jon said he's a no B.S. kind of guy. Jon said they learned so much during that interview. He said Howard asked him about his looks. He played a clip of Howard and Brad talking about women not hitting on him.
Jon said that Bradley has women throwing themselves at him all the time. He said that not all of them are as good looking and successful as he is.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought Bradley Cooper was way more comfortable this time. He said he thought the interview was great. Jon said that he thought it was great he wanted to call that guy to do the prank call. He said he thinks he even surprised Howard. Jon said they were trying to reach The Unintelligible Guy at the end of the interview. He said that Bradley knows where Howard is going to go and not go.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels like he's an hour off all morning long with the new show start time. He said that everything is off. He said it's killing him and ruining his radio day. The caller said he's a long time listener and he is used to that 6 o'clock start. He said he doesn't like the new time. Jon said he gets it. He said when they finish wrap up now and it's 12. He said he thinks it's 11. Jon said that things have changed and it's tricky. He said it can be a good thing but they have to adjust. Jon said in a couple of weeks they'll feel like nothing happened. Jon said if this makes Howard happy he's all for it. He said he can start 3 hours late if that's what it takes.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Benjy will ever show up late now that the start time is later. Jon said he thinks it will happen eventually. He said by the time the year is over there may be a time that he comes in late. Jon said he looks forward to that as a fan. He said as a friend he hopes it doesn't happen. The caller asked if he thinks Howard will be less lenient now that the show starts later. Jon said he thinks he won't be. He said if Howard shows up on time then the rest of them should. Jon said he thinks Benjy will suffer some punishment but he's not sure what that would be.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if Howard has to sign up for 5 more years if he signs a contract. Jon said he's not sure about that but he traditionally does 5 year contracts. He said he is older now and maybe it could be a year by year deal. He said he's got his fingers crossed that he will sign. He said that any Howard is better than no Howard.
Jon had Jon Leiberman come in with his Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down some of the headlines they had coming up today. Jon also got in a plug for his Leiberman Live show. They went to break a short time later.
Gary said they had Bradley on when he was in The Hangover and then he did all of these great movies. He said all that time he's come in. Jon said he didn't leave that thing that made him big out of the discussion. He said he's done some serious films too that made a lot of money.
Gary said Bradley was talking to him about how great the guests have been lately. He said he remembered when the best they could do were Alec Baldwin and Richard Belzer. Gary said he may have been right about that.
Jon said Howard and Bradley doing the Elephant Man thing was great. Gary said he loved how they got into that. Jon said it was first thing in the interview.
Gary said he doesn't think that Bradley would do that Elephant Man thing with anyone but Howard. Gary said they had the actor who played Benny the Retard on the show and Howard asked him to do that character and the guy refused to do it. Jon said that Bradley also talked about how he stayed in character with the accent during the shooting of American Sniper. Gary said Howard thinks that doing that is just so he can get laid. Gary said Howard thinks that the women melt over something like that.
Jon said that they also learned that Clint Eastwood does one or two takes. Gary said Bradley also did the De Niro impression and he became De Niro with the mannerisms. He said that he was really good. Jon said if he gets nominated and wins an Academy Award then will he be the one who gives the first Baba Booey? Gary said they are making their odds better with some of the people who are nominated. Gary said he doesn't think that Bradley would do it though.
Jon said one of the people who stood out at the holiday party was Ronnie Mund. He said even Sal and Richard didn't stand out that much. Gary said he never got to hang out with Jon and the guys. Jon said he was in a U shaped table and he was stuck in the U. He said that Richard and Sal weren't able to move either. He said they were all just talking and having a good time. Gary said he walked past their table and saw that Benjy and Elisa were at Howard's table. He said he went over thinking Benjy had cornered him. He said it turns out that Howard was the one who asked them to sit down with him. Jon said that when you're in Howard's cross hairs you get nervous even though you've known him so long. Gary said whenever he's with Howard he feels like he's working for him. He said he doesn't want him in a weird position.
Jon asked if Ronnie will ever stop singing karaoke. Gary said he won't. He said he's the guy who sucks at singing and he loves it. Jon said that it's great for all of them to be in one place at one time. Gary said that party is all about drinking scotch and eating shrimp. Jon said they were going to wrap up the show after that. They got in some plugs and ended the show around 11:50am.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard doesn't renew his contract, who will be living in a van down by the river on the show. Jon said that's a good question. Jon said if Howard does decide to stop they have to think about this. Jon said he thinks the guy in the biggest jam would be Scott Salem. He said he's one of the older guys on staff. He said he's not sure if he has to keep working or not. He said he thinks he's very capable but that may not be the guy you want because of his age. Jon said Ronnie may be in for a tough ride too. He said his fame and notoriety come from Howard and if he doesn't need those services then he may drop out of the limelight.
The caller agreed. He said he thinks that Sal doesn't have a chance of doing anything either. Jon said he's a good writer but he is kind of polarizing. He said that he has been on the air doing some strange things so you have to wonder if people would bring him on. Jon said Benjy is in the same position. He said that they may not be such great employees. He said Richard may be like that too. He said he is a functioning alcoholic. He said he could go back to music. He said that you have to wonder if you can take those guys on. He asked the caller what he thinks about Benjy doing a radio show. The caller said that they know all of their flaws from being on the show. He said the employers have to think about all of that.
Jon said they do hear what JD is into and things like that. He said they talk about all of that stuff on the air. Jon said that your fame can be gone if Howard isn't talking about you anymore. Jon said they also have Fred, Robin and Gary. He said their success is tied into the show too. He said you have to wonder what they'll do. Jon said the other big question is ''Can Howard retire?'' He said maybe he can't stay away from the microphone every day.
The caller said he has pictured Howard retiring but then taking his show live on late night TV. He said that he'd be better off with the time and all of that. He said that he isn't sure Howard could make it without venting to America. Jon said that Howard likes being the first thing on in the morning. He said that it's like opening your morning paper. He said they all hope he continues.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if they think Sal is in any better shape than he was 5 years ago when he cried. Jon asked if he's talking financial or mental. The caller said financial. He said he thinks that Sal would be the worst off if the show ends. Jon said he thinks Sal has matured a little bit in the past 5 years. He said that he might have a tough time because of being known on the show. Jon said Sal is a really funny guy. He said he could do stand up. He wondered if he'd be an asset with his comedy on another show. Jon said they have to consider all of that. He said they had to take a break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was thinking about how the Wack Pack may end up in a van down by the river. He said that they may only have 60 days and they'll be out. Jon said many of them may already be in the van down by the river. Jon said that if the show goes away they will be devastated and what are they going to do? Jon said Jeff the Drunk and guys like that are on federal subsidies so that won't go away. He said that he thinks Beetlejuice will be fine but he's not sure about the rest of the Wack Packers. He said he worries about Mariann and Bobo if Howard does retire.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to add that this comes up every time he is up for a contract. He said it gets old. He said Howard always ends up re-signing. He said that he thinks he will sign again this year. He said 5 years ago Sal was crying on the air but he think he'll re-sign. The caller said this is an old bit. Jon said that he doesn't think it is an old bit. He said Howard is in a different place now. He said he's painting and spending his time differently. He said he may want to take the time off. He said he thinks it's scary. He said the negotiations always come down to this but he really doesn't have to come back to work. Jon said that he may worry about the staff and what they'll do. Jon said that they have gone to this well before but he thinks it is on everyone's mind. Jon said Howard has said he has other options too. He said he may not stop working but he may stop being on radio every morning.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the Larry David interview was great and this was probably the set up for a great year. He said that it's just the start of the year. Jon said it is just the start of the year and it's amazing it's been this long for Larry to come on the show. Jon said that Howard and Larry hit it off and it felt like they were a fly on the wall hearing them talk. Jon said that you're getting inside the heads of these people that you respect. He said they also had Taylor Chandler on the show this week and that kind of balance will continue this year. Jon said he thinks it is a great way to start things off.
Jon said one thing they talked about this week was the evolution of Ronnie. He said he thinks that Ronnie will stand up for himself to Howard. He said it's interesting to hear how that continues to evolve over time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Howard mentioned about a month ago there are guests he won't allow on the show. He asked if he has ever said who they are. Jon said he has never said. He said he can't remember anyone who he has said he won't talk to other than Jay Leno. Jon said he thinks that even that might happen if Jay offered to come in. He said he'd love to hear that interview if it happened.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they got him watching The League. He said it's a great show. Jon said it is a great show. The caller asked about that Intersex person Taylor. He said that she's very masculine and he's shocked that Fred held back from doing his Munster's voice. He said that he must have just been respectful of her. Jon said that when Nicole Bass comes in he thinks they'll hear that voice. Jon said that Taylor was a good interview and he thinks that's why they'd hold off on doing that. Jon said he thinks that Taylor has had some rough times over the years. He said that they got to hear about some of those. Jon let the caller go after that.
Jon had Jon Leiberman in to give his Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down a few headlines they had coming up today.
Jon asked Leiberman if he thinks that the Wack Pack would be okay if Howard retired. Leiberman said absolutely not, especially Bobo. They went to break after that.
Jon said that Larry was apprehensive to come in there. He asked Gary how he prepares him to go in there. Gary said that he came there with a friend and he thinks that helped him out. He said that he had heard the Jets discussion before and he asked him about it in the green room. He said he was talking to him about that stuff and they talked football for a long time. He said after he went in it helped according to the friend.
Jon said that Howard wouldn't be talking about sports normally. Gary said that Howard did bring it up. He said that Larry talked about how he drew up plays when he was a kid. Jon said he knew he was a big sports fan and a Jets fan. He said that he was sort of joking but not so much. He said he thinks that he really thinks he could do it.
Jon said they also had Michael Rapaport and Matthew Berry on the show this week. Gary said he's been telling Howard about Michael and how he's been this past year. He said that they didn't disappoint on the air. He liked how Michael said that he didn't say he wanted to rape him, he just wanted to make him love him having sex with him. He said that's what rape is.
Jon said that Matthew Berry was talking about how Michael can get under your skin. Gary said Matt is in a tough position. He said he's very good at what he does and he'd like to win this league because it's highly visible. He said that Rapaport is a guy who smells blood though. He said he knows where to go if someone replies to his emails.
Jon asked if he's glad that Rapaport was in the league. Gary said he is. He said Michel came to his house for the fantasy league party and he thinks he even made that great. Gary said that Lisa Ann wasn't able to make it but if she had then it would have been all that much better.
Jon said that the other thing they talked about was Ronnie at the Christmas Party. Gary said that Ronnie knows that they're going to talk about that stuff. He said he wonders if he ever takes a break. Jon said that Ronnie and Rapaport are very similar in that way. He said they're a ton of fun but at some point you do say ''Alright, take a breath.'' Gary said he's not sure how Ronnie does it and keeps it going. He said that Michael is the same way with the energy.
Gary said he did love winning the fantasy football league. Gary said he's not sure Howard knows how stupid it is that it means so much to them to win. Jon said he thinks he does. Jon said he doesn't think Gary realized how big of a deal it would be to him either.
Jon and Gary wrapped up the show after getting in some plugs. They were done around 11:45am.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.