|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about the rain in New York and how he didn't get out all weekend. He said he took a class so he was in school. He said it was a sketching type class. Robin asked if it was online. Robin said it was in a school. He said he actually went to a school. He said he enjoyed it too.
Howard said Al Roker stopped by to say hi. He said he wanted to say hi quickly to Al. He said he has to get to work. Al came in and Howard said he looks thinner. Al said he has to fit into that bikini for the summer. Howard asked if he goes anywhere in swim trunks. Al said no. He said the Paparazzi pay him not to follow. Howard asked if he keeps his shirt on when he's at the pool. Al said he keeps it on until he's in the water. Howard said he knows people who keep the shirt on to avoid sunburn.
Howard asked if he's ashamed of his body. Al said he's not. He said he goes out and sees guys with their shirts off and they look good. He said you think they're showing off. Then you see the guys who have no business taking their shirts off. He said that's what you shouldn't do. He said they have the very short shorts on and they don't look right.
Howard asked Al if he has extra skin because he used to be obese. Al said he does have a little. He said that there is surgery to remove skin but he didn't need that. Al said at his heaviest he was 340 pounds. Now he's at 185.
Howard said Benjy is having trouble losing weight so he came in one day and said if he didn't lose 43 pounds in 8 weeks he wanted a guy to rape him. Howard said they couldn't do that so they are doing the finger thing instead. Howard said that Benjy is doing it. Howard said he heard he was at the writer's meeting eating ice cream cake. Benjy said they do it once a month in the meetings. Howard said you'd think he'd stop eating ice cream cake. Al said he'd stop eating completely.
Howard asked Benjy if he tried losing weight over the weekend. Benjy said he did and he thinks he's back on track. Al said if he gains a pound he gets back on his diet. Al said if he travels more than a day he brings his scale with him. Howard said he has to weigh himself too. He said he doesn't bring the scale with him though.
Al asked if Howard is enjoying the drawing thing. Howard said he is. Al said his father always wanted to take a class in it. Howard said there was a woman who wrote a book about drawing and how you use the right side of the brain to do it. Howard said this class really opens your eyes up. He said Al would like this class. Howard showed Al what he was doing over the weekend.
Al said he wanted to go to an art school as a kid but he didn't go that way. He said he wonders what his life would have been if he had. Howard said this teacher he goes to can tell at what age you stopped drawing at. He said that if you stopped writing at 9th grade then you'd be stuck at that level. Howard said that there are people who do caveman like drawings and that's where they're stuck.
Al said he wonders what would have happened if his father had gone to art school. Howard said he heard that Katie Couric is getting married over the weekend but he wasn't invited. Al said he saw her recently and he isn't invited either. He said he doesn't know anyone who is going. Howard said he asked Katie about filling in for Savannah. Howard said that he thinks she will fill in and she will get the ratings up. Al said he thinks Savannah will be okay.
Howard asked what kind of breaks people take over there. Al said they take time off and they all do it. Howard said that he's never away for more than two weeks on radio. Robin said she never stayed more than a week away from New York because of that.
Howard asked Al if he thinks Katie coming in would help or hurt the show. Al said he doesn't think it would hurt. He said he thinks that it would be good for the audience to see Katie and Matt back together. Howard said he thinks that they'd do great. Al said he doesn't try to get involved in all of that. He said they have a great stable of people coming in while Savannah is out and if Katie comes in that's great.
Howard said Al has gone to the global warming thing. He said he usually stays quiet about that stuff. Al said that there is climate change. He said that he thinks it's kind of an ostrich head in the sand kind of thing. He said there are going to be those who think it's a conspiracy though.
Howard asked Al about this trade to get our soldier back. Al said that you have to wonder if we know everything about it. He said he doesn't wade into it because he doesn't know everything. Howard said it might hurt his career if he did weigh in. Al said it's not part of his expertise. Howard said he would talk about it in private though. Al said he would but that's not what people tune into the Today show for. He said that's not his thing.
Howard asked if there are people that he has avoided on the Today show. Al said he can't think of anyone. He said he's never turned down taking a picture with anyone. Howard asked if Al has asked someone not to talk about his opinion of something. Al said he has a very small group of friends and they have a circle of privacy. He said he doesn't have any famous friends. He said he has some average guys and some in finance, doctors, police officers, just normal people.
Howard said Al makes 8 million a year on the Today show. Al laughed. Howard said he's worth it too. Howard said he has to do this broad sweeping forecast and it's almost a thing of the past. Howard said if he's in New York and he does a weather forecast in Montana it's not very detailed. Al said they do local forecasts for all of the markets. He said that the weather is higher up in the list of things they do on the show. He said that every day is fascinating to him.
Howard asked if he would vote for Hillary Clinton. Al said he's not sure where she stands on anything yet. He said he's waiting to see what their platforms are.
Howard asked if he is happy with Mayor DeBlasio. Al said he's doing a better job than when he started. Howard asked if he thinks that the horse drawn carriage thing is right. Al said if they had a specific route that would be fine. Howard said it looks cruel to him.
Howard asked if he thinks Donald Sterling should have been forced to sell his team. Al said he is in a private club and if they have rules then you're out. Howard said he agrees with the NBA then. Al said he does. Howard said they're finally getting some opinions from Al.
Howard asked Al if he is registered with any political party. Al said he is not. He said he is an independent. Howard said that's interesting.
Howard asked Al where he stands on gun control. Al said he thinks there's nothing wrong with enforcing gun laws. He said he doesn't own any but he thinks that it's fine that people do. He said that we do need waiting periods. He said there's nothing wrong with that either. Howard asked why anyone wouldn't want someone to be checked out with that.
Howard asked Al about Oscar Pistorius. Al said it doesn't look good. Howard said he thinks he should be in jail. Al said most people would turn to their spouse or girlfriend and ask what they were hearing in the house. He said he thinks that's a problem.
Howard said Justin Bieber has been using the N-word all over the place. Al said he was 15 years old. He said if we were held accountable short of murdering someone at the age of 15 then a lot of people would be out of jobs. Robin asked if he would take a picture with him. Al said he has in the past. Howard asked if he would take one with Oscar Pistorius. Al said he doesn't think so. He wouldn't use his bathroom at his house for sure.
Howard asked Al about this app he has out. Al said it's a cute, fun little thing. He said he plays a lot of games on his devices. He said his kids like Candy Crush. He said he plays word games himself. He said he likes that Temple Run game too. Howard said in this app, Al's Weather Rokies, you play games. Al said you have to get these little characters to get to his alarm clock to wake him up. He said you want to wake Al up in the game. He said you get your weather forecast too. He said it's 99 cents. Howard said Al likes this. Al said he designed some of the characters in the game. He said he got to do some cartooning. Al said he has a friend who worked with him on it. He said they knocked it out together.
Howard asked what Al is doing today. Al said he goes to work after this. He said he's there for 3 hours and then he doesn't know what he's doing.
Howard asked Al if Matt will give him shit about the app. Al said Matt doesn't play with the apps so he doesn't care. Al said that he and his kids have started watching America's Got Talent a lot. He said they have to all sit down and watch it together. He said it's a fun show. Robin said it's a family show. Al said he thinks that Howard is a voice of reason on the show. He said he couldn't have done the show 10 years ago. Howard said he told Robin he would take it seriously and then they contacted him and asked him to join the NBC family. Howard said they kicked him out of the family once but he went back. He said his goal was to be a credible judge and he's getting good feedback.
Al said that the martial arts thing was brilliant and he knew Howard was going to use that golden buzzer on him. He said there is a complete disconnect with women and that kind of comedy. He said that's why they don't like the Three Stooges and comedy like that. Howard said it was a brilliant parody of what goes on in those Karate dojos. Al said that they seem to enjoy themselves on that show and that's the difference between that show and others.
Howard said he missed Al at the Billy Joel Town Hall. Howard said he wanted to talk to Al about interviewing Billy before he was famous. Al said he did that when his first album came out. He said he was just on the upswing at the time. Al said Billy was from Long Island and he was from Queens so they had that in common. He said he did a concert at their school and then he interviewed him for about 20 minutes. Al said that they got some interesting people at his school. He said he got to talk to Rod Serling there too. Al said he wonders if his life would have been different today if he hadn't gone to colleges to perform. Howard said some people need time to mature.
Howard asked Al how he made the decision to do Sharknado 2. Howard said that Benjy is in it too. Howard said he gets eaten by a shark. Al said he's not sure he'd call it a ''movie''. Howard said he's not sure why Al and Matt Lauer would do it. Al said it's part of the NBC Universal family so they agreed to do it. Al said they did it right on the Today show set. He said that this is the second one too. Howard asked if he and Matt are eaten by the sharks. Al said spoiler alert... they're in the credits. He said that he thinks they could be back in the third one. Howard asked how long the shoot was. Al said it was about an hour. Howard said that seems like Ed Wood type shooting. Howard asked if he and Matt looked at each other wondering if they were really doing this. Al said they all are pretty lucky to be in the business. He said you do something kind of goofy and so what. He said he doesn't worry about it. He said it'll end up in someone's blooper reel at some point. He said he'll watch the movie just to see what they did with that. Howard said he did half the movie in an hour.
Howard asked if there is any chance of a real Sharknado. Al said no. He said they took this premise where frogs or fish have gotten pulled into a storm. He said there is no chance of a shark doing that.
Howard asked Benjy how long his shoot was. Benjy said it was a couple of hours. Benjy said he's proud to be in it. Howard said of course he is. Al said this is a guy who is waiting for a finger.
Howard gave Al a plug for his app ''Al's Weather Rokies'' and said you can get it in the Apple App store. Al said he's producing a new food show too. He told Howard about that and how he's working with a country star. He said that it's on GAC today at 4.
Howard gave Al some more plugs and Al said that they should crash Katie's wedding. Howard said he's in. He said they can do that.
Al asked Howard if he paints. Howard said he does and he does them in water color. He said he will keep working at it. He said he may even paint Al something. He said he needs about a year to get into that. Howard said that he did a doodle for Sam Simon. Howard said he did that for him but he's a close friend. He said he did one for Billy Joel too. Al said he was at the Billy Joel concert with Howard. Howard said that's right. He told Al that he gave the proceeds of that concert to Bianca's Furry Friends. Howard said that was great.
Howard said he wants to do a nude of Al for Katie's wedding. Al said that he can paint the picture naked and they can take a picture of the two of them naked. Howard asked if he wouldn't pose nude. Al said he will but Howard has to be nude too.
Al said they can go to the wedding in a Fiat. Howard said his head would be sticking out. Al said he'd look like a giraffe. Al said they can parachute in like paratroopers with smoke coming off their boots. Howard said he'll do that. Robin said then they can come out with a game called Crash Katie's Wedding.
Howard said that they have Today show radio coming to SiriusXM on June 26th. Al said that you can tune in and hear the broadcast of the morning show on radio. He said they'll replay it during the day too. He said he'll do some extra stuff on the side and he's fine with that. He said he thinks it's great for them. Al said they can watch on TV before going to work and then continue listening on the car radio.
Howard asked Al about this weather thing. Howard said he thinks that Al knew that Sam Champion was going to Good Morning America. Al said he has no idea. Howard said he must have known. Al said he really doesn't. Howard said that his agent must tell him. Al said he didn't know. Howard said the money must have been great to go to the other show. Al said what he'll say is with timing of contracts and things they never worked out. He said that they never came to him about that. He said they don't care about weather on CBS. Howard said he's not sure he believes him. Al said the network has been very good to him.
Howard said he heard that Matt is getting 25 million. Al said that's great and he deserves it. Howard said that Sam Champion isn't in Sharknado 2. Howard gave Al his plugs again and wrapped up a short time later.
Howard came back and said he saw Sheryl on some show singing. He said it was on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show. He said she was performing with Linda Ronstadt.
Howard said that belching guy is really funny. He said some people don't get it though. He said he has some songs that they created using his belches. He played a couple and also said that maybe he could become the Belchelor instead of the Bachelor. Howard played a clip of him belching in a Bachelor show clip. He had more songs with him belching in them.
Howard played a song from a band called Cannibal Corpse. Howard said that it's a speed metal band. Howard said maybe Ron could be their lead singer. Howard played the song with Ron Johnson belching. Howard said he loves it. He said it's better than the band with the dog lead singer.
Howard played another song that they used Ron's belching in. Howard said he thinks they get the idea. He played another two songs with more of the belching.
Howard said they got some mail about Gary's last name being mispronounced. He played a clip of Sal and Richard out on the street asking people to pronounce it. No one was able to get it correct. They all had different pronunciations for Dell'Abate.
Howard said these people are all correct. He said there is no single correct pronunciation. Howard played a song parody they created where they had different people pronouncing his name. He had one more bit where they had the different pronunciations.
Howard read some email about the belching guy and people were asking him to stop playing those clips. They were really grossed out by them. Howard said he doesn't know how people can't love that. Howard said that some people do love it though. He read a couple of emails from the people who like that stuff.
Howard said last week someone pointed out that Beetlejuice and Danny Trejo have a similar laugh. They took both of them and put it to a drum solo. Howard said that's what it would sound like if it was on a Beatles album.
Howard said on Leiberman Live they had a big revelation from Big Foot. Howard said Big Foot is willing to finger Benjy. Howard said Big Foot said this isn't the first time he's done that to a man before. Howard said that's got to motivate Benjy. Howard said he must be scared. Benjy said the whole thing scares him.
Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking to Leiberman about how he used to be paid to stick his fingers in some guy's ass. He said the guy used to pay him to use a dildo and stick his fingers in him.
Howard said they have Big Foot as an option now. He said they have that Gogo porn star guy and Yucko the Clown too. Howard said they have a bunch of listeners who want to do it too. Howard read through some email about Benjy and how he might be bi-sexual or bi-curious at least.
Howard said that Benjy said the other day it wouldn't bother him too much if they made it sexy. Howard said it's a guy though. Benjy said the fingers thing isn't so bad. He said that it will be painful. He said the kissing is the more gross thing to him.
Howard read more mail about Benjy. Howard said that Benjy is the one who set this whole thing up. Howard asked Benjy if he's doing it. Benjy said he is committed. Howard said of course, why would he not be? Howard said Benjy thinks that the kissing is too intimate. Benjy said that it's more the humiliation thing that bothers him. He said that it's going to be gross.
Benjy asked Howard if he could eat anything he wanted every day but had to get fingered by a guy, would he do it. Howard said no. He said he doesn't want anyone fingering him. Howard said he doesn't feel deprived at all with his eating. He said the fingering thing is not going to happen. He said nothing is worth getting fingered for.
Howard said he has to see what else he has. He said he has to move over to some other things but he had to take a break first. Howard said he has some other audio clips to play. Robin said there was a discussion about first pitches and Gary's was brought up again as one of the worst. Howard said 50 Cent's was bad but not worse than Gary's. Gary said it is worse than his. He said it's been measured.
Howard said they have an Instagram account now and they have a new picture of Beetlejuice dressed up as the members of KISS. Howard said it's great. He said this guy Tom Adelsbach does great work. Howard said he's not sure how he does it. Howard said you can check out the pictures at Instagram.com/SternShow
Robin said he never told her that he drove an ice cream truck. Robin said they say he drove an ice cream truck in this article. Howard said he never has. He said he's never been behind the wheel of a truck. Robin said this is from Newser. Howard said he never drove an ice cream truck. He said he has no idea where he is when he's on the road so that's horse shit. Robin said she can't put stock into any of these things then.
Howard said he has worked in a plumbing supply place, a kitchen and other things but he's never worked in an ice cream truck. Howard said they may be confused with Gary's dad who had an ice cream route. He didn't drive an ice cream truck. Howard said he was a distributor for Hagan Daas. Gary said he was actually a sales guy but he did drive a truck for a while. He said he worked for the company that created Hagan Daas.
Gary said Johnny Knoxville is a friend with a guy who plays Rugby who was banned for fingering guy's assholes during the game. Howard said they need someone to be romantic with him. He said thee whole idea of him getting fingered and kissed is what they want. Gary said that Benjy said he can put that out of his head but the kissing is going to be hard to deal with. Howard said that's going to be hard to do both while the guy is fingering and kissing him while he's laying on his back.
Howard asked Benjy if he thinks that he wants to be with a man. Benjy said he really doesn't want to do this. He said he's just having fun with it right now. He said he thinks that it won't actually happen. Howard said he has this whole thing figured out. He said this is what will happen. He said they're going to go to a hotel and Will will have a microphone there. He said Benjy will lay on his back and the guy will start kissing Benjy. Then he'll start moving his hand down by his anus and work his way into his asshole. Benjy said he makes it sound nice. He didn't dive right into the ass. Howard said that's how he does it with a girl. He said that he'll light some candles and all of that. Robin said maybe Benjy will start fingering the guy who is fingering him. Howard said that would be great.
Howard asked if Jerry can't beat Joan up himself. He played more audio of Jerry talking about how she could get him arrested if she showed that letter to the police. He said he invites her to do that but he never wants her to forget what he wrote. Howard said he doesn't get that.
Howard asked Sal if he knows anything about this. Sal came in and said that she does thousands of shows and she has probably catered to 2000 people in the last couple of months. Sal said if you do that many then there are people who are going to come out against her. Sal said he went back stage at the show and he didn't see anyone talking to her or speaking to her in her ear. He said she covered a good portion of the theater too. He said it wasn't just the front row like people are claiming.
Howard said Sal knows nothing and he can't believe this. Gary said Sal told Richard that she's good friends with the guys from Train. Gary said Sal then changed it to her being a big fan of theirs. Sal said Howard can ask them about it. Howard asked if she knows the guys from Train. Sal said she's a big fan. Howard said he said she's a friend but now it's just a fan. Howard said he's a big fan of the Beatles but that doesn't mean he's friends with them. Sal said he told Richard that in private so he's not sure where this is going. Howard said Sal is looking at him like he's crazy. Sal said he's stretching this into monotony. He said he's taking this whole thing and making it into something it's not.
Howard said the other thing that was weird was that Sal said he gets an erection when he shits. He said that Sal is horny when he shits. Howard asked how that's possible. Howard asked if it's sensual for him when he shits. Sal said it's not. Howard said he's so starved for love that it's sad. Howard said he has never heard of this. Howard said Sal was on the Wrap Up Show talking about this and he thinks that it's a universal experience. Sal said he researched it afterward. He said that Yahoo answers had some information. Howard asked the guys in the studio if they have had that. None of them had. Sal said about 3 people on Yahoo did. Sal said that he was just saying that the prostate gets you hard.
Howard said Sal watched the movie Gettysburg last night and that's why he just made a reference to it earlier. Sal said he didn't know that it was about the Civil War. He said that he didn't know it was to abolish slavery. Sal said he learned a lot from that movie.
Balls asked Sal if he thinks that Theresa Caputo is a cold reader. Sal said he is familiar with that but he's not sure that she's that type of reader.
Howard said Sal is too much. Howard said he says he knows what a cold reading is but he must think that's going out in the winter and reading outside. Sal said that's it exactly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal is retarded. He said he's saying that she's a friend of Train and he's just wrong. Sal said that she has posted pictures of herself back stage with Pat so he thinks that she's more than just a fan.
Howard said Sal is pretty fucking smart now that he knows about the Civil War. Howard asked Sal who Hawaii fought for. Sal said they weren't part of the country yet. Howard said now they're getting somewhere. Howard asked what year it took place. Sal said 1863. Howard said he's good. Howard asked some other questions and Sal had some correct answers about the war.
Sal said he watched the movie with his son and he educated him about that stuff before hand. The caller said he shouldn't be proud of that. Sal said his forefathers helped abolish slavery. Howard said they did not, they were in Italy.
Howard took a call from Hanzi whose phone sounded distant. Hanzi said he was in the bathroom shaving his pubes. He was giggling talking about that. Howard asked if he's on speaker phone. Hanzi said he's on the regular phone. Howard asked if he gets an erection when he shits. Hanzi said no. Howard asked why he would shave his pubes. Hanzi said he's Pakistani so he's very hairy. Howard asked why he would do that if he's not getting laid. Hanzi said it cuts back on the smell. Everyone said ''Ew!'' and Hanzi laughed. Robin asked why he's so happy today. Hanzi said he's not.
Howard asked Hanzi if he cleans up after himself. Hanzi said he does. Hanzi asked Howard to not have Al Roker on in the first hour of the show. He said it was a buzz kill. Howard said he thought he was a lot of fun. Hanzi said that the first hour should be fore banter. Howard said the guy has a job and he had to come in early. Robin said once in a while they have Al in when he can be in.
Hanzi asked why Wolfie is asking for a jingle. Howard said he's glad he brought that up. Howard said he killed that bit the other day saying he didn't ask for it. Then he was on the Wrap UP Show saying he remembers asking for one. Howard said he wants one. Sal said he wants it in the worst way too. Howard played Hanzi's jingle ''Imran Khan Lives With His Dad and Mom'' since they were talking about jingles.
Hanzi asked Sal why he blacked him on twitter. Sal said he's insane, that's why. He said that of course he's going to block him. Sal said he'll unblock him. He said he likes Hanzi. He said he probably thought it was a fake account. He said he didn't think he had the ability to go on Twitter and do this. Hanzi said he has a confession to make. He said back in 2007 they were going to play a prank on Sal making him think it was election day. He said someone ruined the bit on accident. Howard said he has no idea what he's talking about. He hung up on him.
Howard thanked Sal for coming in. He said they got the Long Island Medium discussion out of the way. Robin said it turns out it's just a bunch of people who want to investigate her. Howard said they're going to find out it's not real. Sal disagrees. He still believes.
Howard said he has been thinking about the Casey Kasem thing and he sides with the daughter in this. He said Casey's wife, Jean, threw a pound of meat at the step daughter. Howard asked who would do that. He said she can't be rational. He said she threw meat at her step daughter. Howard said that's just crazy. Howard said that's just wacky. He said he's not sure who is doing what there.
Howard took a call from Eric the Actor and said he only had a few seconds. He said he has to get to Train. Eric said ''Oh come on.'' He said he has an important PSA. He said Howard's fans are fucked in the head. He said it involves people on the show. Eric said that people have taken his personal information and one person made a Craigslist post with his real address and two people showed up at his house. Howard asked what they were about. Eric said they listed a Sybian and that's something he would never mess with in his life. Howard asked what they said he was doing. Eric said they said he was selling a Sybian.
Eric said that he advises the Wack Packers out there to make sure their personal information isn't floating around the internet. Howard said he can't believe people would want to buy a used Sybian. Eric said some 70 year old woman showed up to buy it for her son. Howard asked if people were freaked out when he answered the door. Eric said he didn't answer it. He said his roommate answered the door.
Howard said he has Gonzo on the phone and he wondered if he was involved in that. Gonzo wasn't there when he picked up. Howard picked up on this guy Vince who said that he didn't do that to Eric. He said he did find out that Eric has gay tendencies though. He said that Eric says ''Kiss my ass'' to people who say he's gay and that means he's gay. Vince said that he's working his way to his cock. Howard asked Eric what he has to say to that. Eric said he's a fucking idiot and his ass is exit only. He said that it's only for shit like Vince. Howard asked why he owns a Sybian if he's not homosexual. Eric said he doesn't have one. He said he never had one. Howard said he thought he was selling one. He said he saw an ad on Craigslist. Eric said that was fucking fake. Howard said maybe he should sell them. He said people showed up for it.
Eric told Howard to get rid of that dumb fuck Vince. Vince said Eric doesn't need the Sybian because he has guys lined up to do him. Eric told him to go fuck himself. Howard let Vince go after that.
Howard said Johnny Fratto says that Eric is going to be doing a voice on Yucko's TV show ''Brickleberry.'' Eric said that he's working on that.
Howard picked up on Sal in the back who was pretending to be a guy interested in buying the Sybian. Eric said he knows it's Sal. Howard said he thinks it is Sal. Eric said that he knew what the Civil War was when he was 10. Howard said good for you Eric. Eric said it helps that his dad was a Civil War buff. He said he has been to most of the battlefields. He said he has Civil War guns and memorabilia.
Howard took a call from Richard who was pretending to be Ethel and asked if he still had the Sybian for sale. Eric knew it was Richard. He told him to grow up. Howard said he really has to go. He let Eric go and picked up on Johnny Fratto. He wasn't there when he picked up though.
Howard asked if Train was there. Gary said they are ready to go. Howard played some of the wrong pronunciations of Gary's last name they had from earlier in the show. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he has the whole band there. He said they have two ladies there to sing too. Howard said the whole band Train is there. Howard asked Pat who is sexier, him or Adam Levine. Pat said Adam is sexier. Howard asked the ladies who they think. The women said that Pat is of course.
Howard said that he was voted the most fuckable man in America. Pat said he knew that. Howard said the drummer looks new to him. Pat said this is Drew Schultz. He said he is a friend of theirs from Portland. Howard said the previous drummer was with them for 20 years. Pat said yes. Howard said the former drummer, Scott, put out a statement saying they were parting ways. Pat said that he didn't think they were going in the same direction and he waned to go and do his own thing. Howard said their last album was their best selling ever. Pat said things just weren't working out. Howard said he has to explain that more. Howard said he is going in the right direction. Howard said it seems like a marriage break up. Pat said it is. He said staying together as long as Howard and the guys have is a really remarkable thing.
Howard said he's not sure what's going to happen to the previous drummer. Pat said that he knew Drew for a long time and he worked with him on his solo stuff. He said he went and got his law degree and he was just waiting for the call to come and do this. Howard said he wonders what happened with the other drummer. Howard said he hopes he tells him off the air what went on. Robin asked what happened. Pat said there was nothing seriously wrong. Pat said if they're lucky this next cycle will last a long time. He said they will tour for 3 years and live close together. He said they had to be sure they could do that. Pat said the best case is that they'll tour for 3 years and that's a lot of commitment.
Howard asked if it was a personality conflict. Pat said that Scott wanted to write more and he will always be a big part of the band. He said his contribution was massive for them. Robin asked if Scott will show up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when they're eventually inducted. Pat said yes.
Howard asked Drew what kind of law he did. He said he did Mergers and Acquisitions. Robin asked if he's married. Drew said he is engaged. Howard said Robin would hook up with him. Howard said Robin needs her space though.
Howard asked when the new CD comes out. Pat said it comes out in September. He said that they're going to play Angels in Blue Jeans and no one has heard this song yet. He said the album is called Bulletproof Picasso.
Pat told Howard that he's drinking wine and smoking weed now. He said he knows it'll turn into a bad deal eventually. Howard said they have a Train wine now. Pat said they have 5 varieties and they're about to make a sixth.
Howard said they're saying that they had to drink and smoke weed to write the new album. Howard said it's such a crazy business. Pat said he's not sure how much longer people are going to care about what he has to say. Pat said this record means a lot to him. He said that he knows he has to be that way or it won't work out. He said they have never had a number one song or album. He said they've come close but never number 1. He said that they have never sold out Madison Square Garden or anything like that. He said there is still room for improvement.
Howard said he has heard the song ''Drops of Jupiter'' so many times and he didn't have any idea that it was about his mother. Howard said he started listening to the lyrics and he realized it was about that. Howard said he thought it was about his ex-wife or something. Pat said he didn't care about her that much to write a song about her.
Howard asked Pat about some of the lyrics and what they meant. Pat sang the lyrics to Howard and Howard said the song means something different to him now that he knows. Howard said he's thinking about his mom going out and visiting the moon and the sun and Jupiter. Pat said it's heartbreaking to lose you mom and then your record company telling you that you don't have a single. He said he wrote the song and they listened to it and that was what the thing was about. Howard said the song gives him chills now. He said it's a great visual thinking about that. Pat said that when they do private shows he tells the crowd that the song made his ex-wife a shit ton of money.
Howard asked how long they've been writing the songs for the new album. Pat said he wanted to write an album that wasn't silly. He said he's been working on it for like 2 years. He said this was like Neil Young to him. He said that was his thought behind this song they're doing today. Howard said he only wants to be taken seriously. Pat said he can't play the game anymore. He said he's not Katy Perry so he has to be careful.
Howard asked Pat if he had to play the game where they look for a hit. Pat said Neil Young doesn't think about that. He said he thinks Pearl Jam has done a great job of that. He said they do it for the fans and not just to have a hit song. Howard said that the business is different today. Pat said Led Zeppelin never got any kudos when they were doing it. Howard said the record business is different today.
Howard asked Pat about who picks the song as the single. Pat said they have to leave that up to someone else. He said they have a great radio staff at Columbia Records. He said they talk about the work that has to get done. He said their work is done with the album and the record company takes it from there.
Howard said that the guys had to audition for Columbia. Howard asked what year that was. The guys said it was like 1996 or so. Pat said when he sang they said he wasn't special. Then two years later they saw that they got their shit together and it was working.
Howard said he loves that they get up so early to come in there. Pat said they're honored to be on the show. He said he has to work hard to do this stuff. He said he tried to be like other bands in the past and that didn't work.
Howard asked Pat about being at the birthday show and if that went well. Pat said it was incredible. Pat said he does a podcast and he interviewed people who all asked about the show. He said even the Maroon 5 guys were mad at them for being the house band instead of them. Howard said he was honored that they did it. He said it was a fun, fun night for him. He said he was honored by it. Howard said they're about 3 weeks away from releasing the show. He said it's great to see pat singing with Jon Bon Jovi and those guys. Pat said Jon has been nice to him for no other reason than being nice. He said he just came in and did it.
Howard said it seems like bands are less competitive with each other now. Pat said he's not sure about that. He said Bon Jovi doesn't have to worry about them. He said they can be friends because they're all doing their own things. Pat said they're still a small band. He said he wants Jon Bon Jovi to be competitive with him. Howard asked if he would be kind to other bands if they get in that position. Pat said he hopes not. He jokingly said he wants to be a prick.
Howard asked what bands were mean to them. Pat said the only one he can think of, and it was their tour manager who was a bad guy, is Guster. He said he likes the band though. He said they played a college and they had like 11 people there. He said they were 2 minutes over and they didn't get to do their song because the tour manager was upset and cut them off.
Howard said it seems so weird to be in a band. Howard said it must get even weirder the older you get. Pat said he can't wait to quit. Howard said the pressure is on them to write hits and that's the part that Pat must not like. Pat said there is no restful part. He said you can get up to bat but if you're not hitting the ball then you're no good to anyone. He said he doesn't want to be the heritage band that goes around the country playing their hits. Howard said that his voice has to be there too. He said he has to worry about his vocals. Pat said he's making him want to smoke pot right now. He said he's so stressed out right now. He said everything is bad right now.
Howard said that everyone wants to be a rock star. Howard asked Pat what he would be if he wasn't a rock star. Pat said he would have Howard give him a radio show and he'd work for Howard. Howard said he thinks there's more pressure there. Howard said when you have a morning show all they do is check the ratings book. Howard said if you're not number 1 they'll fuck with you until you're miserable.
Pat asked if Howard is comfortable. Howard said he has worked for a long time. He said he still has to pull his shit together on a Sunday night though. Pat said if he's ever comfortable then they won't have material that's worth listening to. Howard asked if he likes the travel. Pat said he likes it if the people love them being there.
Howard said he understands it when they worry about everything. He said it's all painful. Pat said he listens to the album now and he thinks they just don't have it. Howard said he's like that with old radio shows.
Howard said that they had some great performances at the birthday show. Howard said that Adam Levine was great on guitar. Pat said if you're going to be competitive you don't do it against that guy. Pat said he has golfed with Adam and that's the one thing he can beat him at. He said it's the one thing that he doesn't care about beating him at that he beats him at. Pat said he is really good at everything he does. He said he thinks he was the big deal at the birthday show.
Howard said Pat has talked to him about how you never know when you lose credibility with the audience. He said that he mentioned Paul Simon and how he can't have a hit song. Pat said that you have to be in touch with young people and you can't put out an album called ''A Kiss on the Bum'' like he did. Pat said if you want to be in this game you have to participate. Howard asked how he keeps in touch. Pat said his assistant is really together on all of that. He said that's why he got into the podcast thing. He said he wanted to be in touch with people he never got a chance to be in touch with. He said his podcast is called The Patcast.
Howard asked what song they're doing. Pat said it's called Angel in Blue Jeans. Howard said he likes singing about the angel thing. Pat said he's sorry for that. Pat told Howard about the song being about the mystery of love and knowing how short life is. Howard said this is the first time they're doing it anywhere. Pat said this is the first time anyone is hearing it. He said that they may not even sound that good. He said they haven't done the song a lot. Howard said he's nervous for them. He turned it over to them and they performed the song ''Angel in Blue Jeans.''
After the song Howard said that sounds like a hit song to him. He said it has that anthem in it. He started to sing the part he was talking about. Fred played a Tarzan yell during that. Howard said that reminds him of the wild west or something. Pat said it sounds like a Django Unchained thing. He said it reminds him of Quentin Tarantino. Howard said he likes it. He said it's very good. Howard said the two ladies blend very well with him too. Howard asked if they had to work that out a lot. Pat said they did work on it.
Howard asked how they do the harmonies. Pat and the ladies did that part for him. Howard asked if Pat tells his kids not to get into the business. Pat said he just wants them to get into something that gets them psyched. Howard said that Drew seems so happy to be in the band. Pat said he doesn't want to tell his kids to go be lawyers.
Howard went through the band members and named each one. Howard said the women were Nikida and Sacai or something like that. Pat cut him off and told Howard they learned a new Zeppelin song after he sent him the Bob Lefsetz column. He said that he's gotten hit up from people all over the world who wanted them to do this. He said they're going to cover ''What Is and What Should Never Be.'' Howard said he loves that song. He thanked them for doing it. The band broke right into the song.
After that song Howard said he loved that. He said he can't tell them how much fun that is to watch. Howard asked if they do that in concert. Pat said they do. Howard said he didn't know how they were going to pull off this one guitar part but it was a duet with Jimmy and Pat. Howard asked how that worked out. They said they just lucked out.
Howard said Jimmy Page has said he's sick and tired of Robert Plant waiting to do a tour. He said Robert Plant basically told him to fuck off. Howard asked why they think he won't do it. Pat said he loves Robert Plant so saying fuck off might be right for him. He said the songs he wrote are so difficult and maybe he doesn't want to do them again. He said he will go down as the greatest rock star and not mess up his legacy. Howard said he can't sing in the same key anymore. He said he's right about that. Howard said that Bob Lefsetz was saying that Pat should go out and do the songs. Howard said he thinks that's great he said that. He asked if Pat would do that. Pat said he would love to. He said the guys in the band would be fired up to do it too. Pat said getting to do something like that would be amazing.
Howard asked Jimmy if that part of the song was difficult. Jimmy said that it really is. He said it shows how great Jimmy Page really is. Jimmy said this song was a lot of fun to learn. He said he hates it when Pat asks him to learn a new Zeppelin song. He said it can take him a month to learn something like that.
Howard said he loves that part of the song with the guitar and they nailed it. Howard asked them to do it again. They did that part again for him. Howard said he loves that.
Howard said they were a little late with it in the performance. He said it makes it uniquely Train though. Jimmy said he's going to hear about it in the car today.
Howard said the new album will be out September 16th. Howard said the new single is out today. Pat said the single is out all over today. He said now that they've played it there it can be released. Howard said you can find out more about tour dates and all of that at SaveMeSanFrancisco.com
Howard said that they learned if you want to be in a band then go to law school. Robin said it sounds like not the straight path but that's what you have to do. Howard said he doesn't know what to say other than thank you. He said having them at the birthday show was really great. He said they're such a great band. He thanked them for coming in. He said he hopes they have a hit song so he doesn't have to peel them off the floor.
Howard said pat is very spiritual. He asked if he's superstitious too. Pat said he's Irish so of course he is. He said he has a couple of places in Arizona that he goes to for inspiration. He said he takes hikes and goes up and meditates. He said he tries to be calm and tries to think or pray or whatever you call it. Howard said he has things he'd like to ask for like faster internet. Howard said they need something like a signal as fast as your TV signal.
Howard gave the guys some more plugs for the song and the upcoming album. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he read a story about a woman who was dead in her car and two guys stole the groceries out of the car. Robin said she was in a car crash and died in the crash. Then people stole her groceries. Howard said her two sons were in the car at the time. They were aged 4 and 6. Howard said it's amazing what people do.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that was a great song by Train. He asked if they have to get permission to perform a song by another artist. Howard said no. He said if they put it on an album then they have to. He said you can sing the song but if you do a parody you need to get permission. Gary said he thinks you can do a cover as long as you pay the royalty. He said that Weird Al used to complain that Prince didn't allow him to parody his songs. Howard said that you can perform it in concert and not get in trouble. Robin said she thought they had to pay rights. Gary said Weird Al used to not do them out of a courtesy but you can parody songs without permission. Howard said that those guys are great at their Zeppelin covers.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he loved that cover of the Zeppelin song. Howard said he's really looking forward to getting the birthday show out. He said Train was great on that show too.
Robin read a story about Tracy Morgan who was involved in an accident over the weekend. Robin said a truck plowed into the back of his Limo truck. Robin said he underwent surgery on his leg and he has several broken bones. Robin said his nose was broken and his ribs were broken. Howard said he was so upset about that. Robin said one person was killed. It was one of Tracy's mentors. His name was James ''Jimmy Mack'' McNair who was 62 years old. Robin said he was dead at the scene of the accident. Robin said some made it out with only minor injuries. Robin said the driver of the limo has been talking about it and he says he was in disbelief when it happened. Robin had a clip but Howard wasn't able to find it. Gary said that Scott says it'll be just one second. Scott came in and said he was busy with the Train stuff. He said he'll have that clip up in one second.
Robin said it was very lucky that Tracy didn't have his fiancee and daughter in the car with him. Robin said he usually has them in the car but this time they weren't. Robin said his fiancee and daughter are fine. Howard said he's off his game with the Scott thing. He said he wonders how that happens.
Howard said he saw the news over the weekend and wondered what Tracy did. Howard said he's often said that people are on tour busses and they think nothing can happen. Howard asked if Tracy was wearing a seat belt. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said you have got to wear a seat belt. Robin said she doesn't wear one in the back of a car. Robin said Tracy was not thrown out of the car. Robin said he was still inside. Robin said the seat belt wouldn't have made a difference in this. Gary said the bus was flipped over. Robin said he wasn't outside of it. Howard said it's supposed to keep you from being thrown around. Robin said she was a trauma nurse and she knows. Howard said that she's going to tell him that she gets into the back of a car and she doesn't wear a belt. Howard said so many studies have been done with crash test dummies and she has taken it upon herself not to wear a belt. Robin said yes. Howard said he stood by her while her operation was being done and this is just crazy. He said he has to call her off the air about this. He asked what the fuck is going on over there.
Robin said the truck that hit Tracy was a Walmart truck. Robin said Walmart is saying they will do whatever is right for the victims of the accident.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Benjy gets a boner while he's getting fingered, will that prove he's gay. Howard said he thinks it will. He said he thinks Benjy will get a full on boner during that.
Howard asked Scott if he's moving on or what. He said he'll wait one more second. Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that they are going to have to amputate Tracy's leg. Howard asked if that's a hoax. Tracy said it's on the Huffington Post. Howard said he loves Tracy and he is such a great, fun guy. Howard said he got really upset about the whole thing. He said he was thinking about Sam Kinison dying in a car accident. Howard said that amputation thing would be horrible. King said that it just came out on the Huffington Post. Howard said he heard the leg was broken and maybe crushed. Howard said he thinks he has diabetes though so that might cause problems. Robin said she's seeing this now. Howard said if you have diabetes then maybe it could cause problems with the leg. Robin said you heal more slowly and it can cause infections and stuff. King said he has it and he heals up just fine.
King asked if Howard would rather be dead or lose a leg. Howard said he would chose life. He said the leg thing would crush his spirit. He said he'll take it any way he can get it. Robin said that she's seeing that it ''may'' have to be amputated. King said that's what he said. Howard thanked him for the call.
Howard took a call from a doctor who said that Robin's theory is off about the seat belts. He said that they don't cause you to get tossed around the inside of a car. Robin said they do cause spleen injuries. Robin said she rarely even wears the seat belt in the front seat. She said she doesn't like seat belts. Howard said she could go through the windshield. Howard asked how she can do that to him. Robin said she'll start wearing it for Howard then. Howard asked if she has a theory on smoke alarms. Robin said she has them of course.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that Train was pretty good. Howard thanked him and cut him off as he was about to say something.
Robin read about how America's Got Talent was the number one show in TV on Tuesday night. It wasn't just in their time slot, it was just number one. Howard said that they have such a great team over there. He said they're having a great season over there. Howard said the credit goes to them. Howard said it's really kind of thrilling this year. He said it's cool. Robin said she thinks Howard has a great deal to do with it. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Howard took a call from Bobo who went off on Robin over her seat belt comments. He said that he's an expert in this. He said that you become a projectile in the back seat. He said this was not a limo bus that Tracy was on. He said it was a van. He said that he should have been wearing a seat belt. Robin said she thinks that the injuries could be from the crushing of the van. Howard said Bobo must have been writing this stuff down a lot. Bobo said he didn't write any of this down. He said this is all off the cuff.
Howard said that Bobo was on News 12 recently and he says he was going to be on for like 15 minutes. Howard said he got about 5 seconds. Howard played a clip of Bobo saying that people get ejected from cars not wearing their safety belts. Howard said that was all they put in there. Bobo said they had to chop it down. Howard thanked Bobo for the call and let him go.
Robin said she's thinking about getting a hobby and she's thinking of this one. She read about this thing that people do where they take mice and dissect them and then you stuff them with cotton and pose them like characters in a book. Robin said that's what they're doing. Howard said he wants to stuff Bobo with cotton.
Robin read a story about a reality TV star who was killed this weekend. Robin said that he was sometimes seen in Mob Wives the TV show. Robin said he fell and hit his head while trying to break up a fight and he died. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.
Robin read a story about a computer that was programmed to act like a 13 year old boy. Robin said the computer fooled people into thinking they were talking to an actual person. Robin said they were able to pass this Turing test to make people think it was a person. Howard said that's amazing. Robin said she worries about when the computers become self aware. Howard said they'll be dead by then.
Howard said last week Robin did a series of stories about teachers having sex with their students. Howard said some of them were really good looking. He said he read about one who was doing special ed students. Howard said when he first started looking at them he figured it was only the popular good looking kids but it turns out it's everyone. Howard said that's so insulting to him. Fred played some Gary the Retard clips and Howard had a conversation with them about getting fucked by his teacher.
Robin said the Miss USA pageant was held last night. Robin said one of the contestants revealed that she was the product of a rape. Robin said that she didn't make it into the top 10 though. Robin said this girl says that her mother was raped and that's where she came from. Howard said he saw a picture of that girl and she was gorgeous in a bikini. Robin said she wasn't gorgeous enough though. Robin said she was eliminated before the top 10. She also said that her biological father has never been found. Robin said the Miss USA is a Karate expert. Howard said a lot of Karate black belts can't beat the shit out of anyone. Howard said his kids took it for years. He said one of them is a black belt. He said he asked if they could beat the shit out of anyone and the guy told him a kid in a bad neighborhood will beat the shit out of them.
Howard saw Gary come in with something. They played a bunch of the mispronunciations of his name. Gary gave him the article about the special ed teacher who was fucking her students. Howard read that and said that she isn't that attractive.
Robin read a story about a woman who escaped a home where she was being held captive for over 2 years. Robin said they say that she had a chain around her neck. Robin said 3 people have been arrested for that. Robin said that the victim met two of the people on a web site and moved in with them. Robin said that's how that whole thing got started.
Robin read a story about how Shelly Stirling may still play a role in the Clippers when they are sold to Steve Ballmer. Robin said the sale is on hold right now because Donald Sterling is fighting the sale. Howard asked if it's really that great to own a team. He said they're willing to fight tooth and nail for a team. He said Sterling should just move to Florida and sit in the sun like a lizard. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about people worried about sporting their swimsuits over the summer. Robin had a clip of a psychologist talking about that. Howard said you just have to lose the weight. He said you don't have to eat everything. There will be another meal. He said last night he had Chinese and he asked for ''sauce on side.'' He said the woman knew it was Mr. Stern. He said she was just laughing for no reason. Howard said he has to repeat his order even though it's the same every time. He said he asks for sauce on side every time because he's so afraid that they're going to put it on. He said he gets a trough of food and he takes 5 tablespoons of sauce and puts it on his food. Robin said he should tell them they put too much sauce on. Howard said this woman barely knows what he's saying so he's not going to tell them not to put so much on. Howard told Robin to just wear her seat belt and he'll worry about his food.
Robin read a story about a guy who is suing the NCAA for the rights for students to be paid for playing. Robin said this guy saw himself in a video game years ago and that inspired him to file this suit.
Robin read a story about the Tony Awards being on last night. Robin said that Hugh Jackman was master of ceremonies. Howard said he saw a little bit of Hugh Jackman. He said he had to watch Game of Thrones but it wasn't a great episode. Howard said there were two big things that happened though. He said he's been watching House of Cards and that's fucking great. Robin said she had to watch it again. Robin said the story line is great. Howard said Netflix hit a home run with that. Howard said this guy Ted took a chance to turn that show into a network. Howard said this guy figured it all out. Robin didn't recognize the name. Howard said they're doing a deal with Marvel to produce a movie that will be like House of Cards. He said the guy from Boardwalk Empire who played Jimmy will be in it. Howard said that's so exciting. Robin said she loves House of Cards and Orange is the New Black too. She said they're doing very well.
Robin said Bryan Cranston won for best actor last night on the Tony Awards. Howard said he went to see that play and he really was very good. Robin had some audio of Cranston talking about his win. Robin said that is who she is in love with. Robin said she would do anything for him. Howard asked Robin if Cranston was fucking her in the ass would she asks him to put it in her vagina. Robin said you can't do that. She said he'd have to wash his cock off. Howard asked if she would let him put a finger in her ass. Robin said yes. Howard asked if she was in love with Cranston and he asked her if he could pee on her, would she do it. Robin said she just fell out of love. Howard asked if she would allow him to do it because she loves him so much. Robin said no. Howard said she says she loves him so while they're fucking he asks her to pretend she's his mommy and asks her to talk dirty to him. Robin said no to that too. Robin said she thought she fell in love with a man who was sane. Howard asked if she would dress up like a pony for him. Robin said she can do that. Howard asked if she was in bed with Bryan Cranston and he asks to finish on her face. What does she do. Robin said that won't happen. Howard said Cranston is the perfect man for her and they're in bed but he insists on calling her the N-word in bed. Robin told him to stop it. She said she just fell out of love. Howard asked what would happen if he was fucking and sucking and doing it all and then turns to her and says he wants to use real sausage in her vagina. Robin said has done that. Howard said this time he wants to do it. Robin said she doesn't know. She said that's crazy. She said she doesn't want a crazy man. Robin said she wants the Bryan that's in her mind. Howard asked if she'd let him fuck her with his big toe. Robin said no. Howard asked if she'd let her snowball her. Robin didn't know what that was. Howard said that's making out with her after he cums in her mouth. Robin said she can do that. Howard said that shows she really does love him. Howard asked if she'd toss his salad. Robin said she would if he was very clean.
Robin got back to the Tony Awards clips. She had one of Neil Patrick Harris. Howard said Neil has asked him to see the play. Howard said he heard he dresses up like a woman and rubs his balls on people's heads in the audience. JD said they call it the sugar daddy seat. Howard didn't understand what he said so he asked him to repeat himself a couple of times. Howard said he really can't communicate. Howard said he saw Neil doing it to Sting last night. He said that if he did that to him he'd punch him in the balls. Howard said he's afraid to go to the show. He said he does not want a man putting his balls on his head. He said he loves the guy but not like that. Howard played the clip of Neil and they were playing him off after just a few seconds. Howard said they really have to stop doing that. He said if you have a big star like that you let them talk. Howard said it's such an insult to the guy. Howard did an impression of what that sounds like when they are trying to talk and they play them off.
Robin said she saw a lot of strange things last night. She said they had some odd acts going on and they use up time with those but they won't let Neil talk. Gary said they played Cranston off too. Gary said he was being really interesting too. Howard said he could have done his JD impression if they gave him time. Howard said he's a big fan of Fred doing his impression of JD on the box. Fred did that for a second.
Howard congratulated everyone who does their show and who won a Tony last night. Robin had more clips to play. She had one of Audra McDonald and Howard said he doesn't even know who that is. Howard played the clip and Audra was crying when she won. Howard told Robin it was getting late so they had to move this along.
Robin read a story about the controversy over the soldier who was released in exchange for the prisoners from Guantanamo Bay. Robin said they say that Bowe Bergdahl is now in Germany and he's physically well enough to come home but he hasn't spoken to his family yet. Howard asked if he knows his dad grew a Taliban beard. Robin said she's not sure what his awareness is. Howard said he's not sure what the whole story is but when he sees his dad he's going to freak out. Robin had some clips of people talking about that. Robin said that John McCain thinks that this puts other people in danger. Robin said he also thinks there isn't enough monitoring in place to keep an eye on those released prisoners.
Robin read about how some of Bergdahl's fellow soldiers are saying that he may have been working with the Taliban. Robin said that this doesn't mean that he won't be court marshaled after this.
Robin read about how Seattle is raising the minimum wage and she had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read a story about the owner of California Chrome and how he was complaining about the way things went for his horse. Howard said the guy is right. He said that he's allowed to speak his mind but people are all upset about what he was saying. Howard said that no one really gives a fuck about horse racing anyway. Howard had some audio of the guy apologizing for what he said. He was crying in the clip. Howard said there are no real men anymore. Howard said someone should put him in the Sugar Daddy seat and rub balls on his head.
Robin said that the Rangers are down by 3. Howard said they're down by 2 actually. Robin said they could go down 3 tonight then. Howard said the other team is just better. Gary said they went into overtime in both games. Howard said that he may have to paint his face for this series.
Robin read a story about Maya Angelou's memorial service and had some audio clips from that. She had some audio of Bill Clinton and others talking about Maya.
Robin read a story about a sheriff who made an apology and it's being posted all over the internet. Robin had a clip of the guy talking about that.
Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:40am.
Jon asked Sal if he was surprised by that. Sal said no. He said he wishes she would wear one but he's not shocked that she decided not to wear one and she won't wear it. Jon said there are a lot of people like that. Gary said he hates the belt but he wears it because he knows it's safer.
Jon said he wants to talk to Sal about watching Gettysburg and what he thought the civil War was before that. Sal said he thought it was the north having issues with the South. He said he didn't know exactly what it was. He said it all makes sense now though.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks that the south still resents the north and the other way around. Sal said it depends on the person. He said that some people have progressed. Sal said that he thought the confederate flag was just for the General Lee on the Dukes of Hazard. He said now he knows more about what it stands for. Sal said he thought that it was just the name of a car when he was a kid. Sal said he's not sure if they were for slavery on the show or not. Gary said he thinks it's just a symbol of the south that's considered offensive by some people now.
Gary asked what Sal is going to look into next. Sal said World War II is what he's going to learn about. He told Gary and Jon what he knows and how he wants to learn more. Jon said he got some of it right. He said he's going to let Sal learn more on his own.
Sal told the guys that Jews went to China to seek refuge when the United States turned them away. Gary asked when we turned them away. Sal said that's what we did in the 40s. He said that's what a Jewish friend told him. He said that China accepted them over there. He said we have to give them a lot of credit.
Jon asked Sal if he knows how to say the name Ulysses. Sal said he practiced after he got off the air. Sal said he can say it now. Gary asked if he knows what else he did. Sal said he continued on as General for quite some time and he is well respected by the South to this day.
Jon asked if he thinks that Grant had a chance to be President. Sal said he doesn't know. He didn't live back then. Sal said he thinks he did the right thing abolishing slavery.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Sal that he's getting his history lessons from Hollywood. He said they're not entirely true. He asked if he really thought Leonardo DiCaprio was on the Titanic. Sal said he didn't and he knows better than that. Sal said he apologizes if he's not getting it all right. He said that he has to start somewhere. Jon said he has to commend Sal for trying to learn. Gary said Hollywood History is better than the history he has.
Jon asked Sal what he thought of Lincoln's speech at Gettysburg. Sal said he doesn't know much about it. He said he has to watch more about it. He said that they only covered the war in the movie. Jon asked if they showed the speech at all. Sal said he got up a few times so he may have missed it. He said Lincoln gave the speech and that was it. He said he doesn't know a lot but he got the gist of it down.
Jon said he told Sal he should go to Gettysburg to learn more about it. Sal said his son went there on a trip and he came home with a hat and that got him into it. He said he sat down and started learning along side of him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to stick up for Sal. He said he's from Pennsylvania and he dated a girl from Virginia and she called the war the war of Northern Aggression. He said they don't call it the Civil War. He said that they still have a problem with what went on. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Sal when he realized what he said about the Long Island Medium may not be true. Sal said he thought she was a friend because he sees the pictures she posts of the band. He said that doesn't mean they're friends but he sees a lot of pictures. He said he assumed she was friends with them. Sal said that Larry has told him that he speaks to Pat privately. Gary asked why he didn't bring that up today. Sal said he didn't think of it at the time. Gary asked if they are friends or not. Sal said he's saying they are friends. He said that's his final answer, friends. Gary said it's hard to tell. Jon said he's confused.
Sal said that one of the crew came up and said they are friends. Gary said they could be giving him a hard time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Scott is only doing what he does because it's a music outlet for his son. He said Howard has been pushing this Pat Monahan thing for years now. He said that he sings great but he doesn't want to see him singing for Led Zeppelin. Jon said if it's the whole band with just the singer different then maybe it would be great. Gary said that Queen went out without their lead singer. He said that Journey is touring without their lead singer. He said he's heard that's a great show. He said it's been done. The caller said this is Led Zeppelin though. Gary said he understands that.
Gary said that people went to see BeatleMania. The caller said that's not Led Zeppelin. Gary said Pat was making the point today saying that if Plant went on tour you might be disappointed in what you hear. The caller said he knows that but he'd like to see him one last time. Gary said he gets that but he thinks he's the kind of fan who is going to be upset when he doesn't hear what he expects. The caller said that Van Halen is different because it's all about Eddie.
Jon said there's a new drummer in train. Gary said there is. He said that they were wondering if they thought no one would notice or what. Jon said he's sure they talked about it and the drummer was probably warned about it. Gary said he's sure Pat didn't expect it to come up 14 seconds into the interview.
Jon said Train really did great at the birthday show and they held it all together. Gary said they had to learn a lot of stuff to do the show and they all laid down their egos that night. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that Al and Howard may be crashing Katie Couric's wedding with Matt Lauer. He said that it sounds like none of them were invited. Sal said he talked himself out of his invite to Howard's wedding. He said he told Howard he thought that he thought he wanted him to do something crazy there. He said Howard took his invite right away.
Jon said Al was talking about weighing himself twice a day. He wondered if that got Benjy thinking. Gary said he wants to know what Benjy is doing. Jon said he thinks he's going to wait until the last minute and do whatever it takes to lose the weight. Jon said they were all wondering what was going on with him when he was eating that ice cream cake. Sal said he thinks that Benjy is going to love the whole ride to that moment when he gets the finger up the ass.
Jon said that he thinks that if Benjy knows Big Foot is going to stick his finger up his ass he may be motivated to lose that weight.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks Benjy likes the attention and that's why he's doing this. Sal said he thinks so. He said Benjy has to follow through with this whole thing and get fingered. He said maybe he's going to rely on Elisa to get naked for them though. He said he could get out of it that way.
Jon said Al Roker has that app coming out and he's also in Sharknado 2. He said that they may be back for the sequel to that but Benjy may not be since he got eaten. He said it was fun to hear him talking about Sharknado.
Jon said Al has that app out too so that was interesting. Gary said that Al wanted to do the cartoon stuff so he got to do that in the app. Jon said Howard is all in with drawing. He said he spent all weekend at a class drawing. Gary said he's not sure what he did there. Jon said he showed something to Al but he's not sure. Jon said that this has become Howard's hobby. Sal asked if he's out of photography now. Jon said he doesn't think so but maybe he's concentrating on this right now. Jon said that Howard will probably stick with it until he's really good at it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Benjy has got this thing and he's playing Howard like a virtuoso. He said he won't lose the weight and he won't get fingered and that will lead to more conversation. He said that he's just playing them all. Gary said there is every chance he could be correct. He said the one punishment that Benjy would never get over is if Howard ignores him if he backs out of it all. Gary said he doesn't seem that upset about this getting done to him. Jon said that Elisa may have to stand in for him and that could make it very interesting. Jon said they had to end the show after that. They were done around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about how tired he was. He said he went to bed at 10 and got up at 4. He said he just wants to go to bed. He said he's thinking about starting the show at 7. He wondered if anyone cares. He said people can listen at any time anyway. Howard said he has to check with everyone to find out if they have guests. Howard said he's tired of getting up at 4 in the morning.
Robin asked why he was up so late. Howard said he had to stay up to watch House of Cards. He said he went out to dinner and things like that last night. He said he had to masturbate but he had to choose that or House of Cards. He said he had to watch House of Cards. He figured jerking off would keep him up another 20 minutes. Robin asked if he could go right to sleep after that. Howard said he had to watch two more episodes of House of Cards. He said the show is so good he had to watch the final two episodes. He said he fell right asleep at 10 but he didn't get enough sleep. He said 6 hours just isn't enough.
Robin said Howard told her that when you put kids to sleep you can't keep them up with activities. Howard said he had to stay up and watch the show. He said he's jealous of people who don't do anything during the day. He said they give in to every bit of their id. He said that he gets jealous. He said he had to have some me time.
Robin said he's paying for it now. Howard said he really is. He said he's exhausted. Howard said he has the psychiatrist and everything and it's all nonsense. Robin asked where he is with therapy. Howard said it's the same as always. He said he must not improve. Robin asked if he hit a plateau that he can't get off of. Howard said he asks for a diagnosis and he gets nothing. Howard said he wonders when he's going to be better. Robin asked if he has an answer. Howard said no. He said he's told he has to continue until he doesn't need him anymore. Howard said if he goes down to a day or two a week he's going to have to go for the rest of his life. He said he's been doing intensive therapy for 14 years now. He said he has issues. Howard said he's not supposed to talk about this stuff on the air. He said that's another problem.
Robin asked if he's ever going to get to the point where he can fix his own issues. Howard said that's where he's supposed to be going but he never gets there. He said the shrink tells him there is no key. He said it's all very Jedi. He said he's a man on the edge.
Howard said he's not quite in a Joker costume running around with Harley Quinn. Howard said that's what those people were who shot up the cops in Vegas. Howard said that's what they dressed up as. Howard said if you see someone like that walking down the street they should be arrested immediately.
Howard said the woman dressed up like Harley Quinn looks like Violent Jay from the Insane Clown Posse. He said she looks like a dude. Howard said that guy had fat pussy hanging around him all day so he shot up a bunch of cops. Howard said she looks like Benjy the Clown. Howard said that's what she'd look like if you dressed Benjy up as a clown. He said he guarantees Benjy is hotter than her.
Howard said Elisa went to a gay club and asked guys if they'd finger Benjy's asshole. Howard said that was before they found some people to do it. Howard said his computer needs to be fixed. He said it's jumping all over the place.
Howard played some of the answers to the Benjy question. Some of the people were saying no in a very nice way. They weren't interested in doing that to Benjy. Howard said they have people who are willing to do it. He said they have Gogo Harder, Yucko and Big Foot who are willing to do it. Howard said he's leaning toward letting Yucko do it. Howard played a voice mail that Yucko left for them about doing it. Yucko said that he's going to taste what he had for breakfast when he jams his finger up there. He said he'll be crying for days over that.
Howard played another message from Yucko where he was talking about poking him up there. He was doing a voice as Yucko's Finger and talking about poking him in the heart and things like that. Howard said he was listening to those last night and he thought he was going to throw up from laughing.
Howard said Sal and Richard called an internet talk show and the people can't figure out how to hang up on the belcher. Howard played the clip and the show introduces their caller and Sal and Richard play Ron belching and the hosts tell him to hold on. They said they were going to shut him off but Sal and Richard keep playing the belching clips. They don't know how to hang up on them so they just keep playing the clips. Howard said they can't hang up on them. Howard was cracking up laughing at the belches. The show took a third call from Sal and Richard and they kept playing the belching.
Howard said it's so great. He said the only two people listening are Sal and Richard. He said it's fantastic that they find these shows. Howard said the chances are that if you're doing internet radio the show is not good. He said it never will be until you do an actual show on the air. Howard said he always laughs at people who do shows there at Sirius who have never done an actual show. Howard said if they didn't have Sirius then they'd never get to do a radio show. Howard said they have no idea what it's like in the business. Howard said that's what he was trying to tell Pat Monahan yesterday. He said you don't get to win the war unless you go through a couple of battles. Howard said you have to work for Pig Vomit for a year and a half if you want this career.
Robin said the other woman in the movie is Naomi Watts. Howard said that's it. He said they were in the middle of the movie and he had friends over. He said he was in his home movie theater when the screen broke. He said he can't have friends over because this screen embarrasses him. He said the screen isn't even that big. He said he has a mat that says ''Welcome to the Stern Theater.'' He said it came with that theater when they built it. Howard said the movie is called ''Adore.''
The caller asked Howard what he thought of the scene at the train station. Howard said that shocked the shit out of him. He didn't want to spoil it for anyone though so he didn't get into it any deeper.
Howard let the caller go and talked about the belcher. He played a Led Zeppelin song where they had Ron Johnson belching in it. Howard said Train should bring him on tour with them. Howard said he loves that band. He said they did that song yesterday and it was great. Howard replayed some of their cover of ''What is And What Should Never Be.'' Howard said the song needs some ''Hey Now'' in it. Fred played that clip a few times while it played.
Howard took a call and asked the caller if he thought this song was great. The caller said it was. Howard said he wants to listen to more of it. Howard let the song play a little longer. Howard said he's not taking anymore guitar lessons. He said he sucks when you listen to this and hear how good those guys are.
Howard said he just wants to hear the part of the song with the guitars going ''Bra-nah... bra-nah... bra-nah, bra-nah...''
The caller was talking about how the guy is on fire. Howard told him to hold on because that part is coming up. Howard said it's coming. It came a few seconds later. Howard said he just came all over the board. Robin said that's just beautiful.
Howard said that's when music was at its best. He said he knows he sounds like an old fart saying that. Howard said he can't believe music is just shitty now. Robin said it'll get good again. She said it goes through cycles. Howard said it sounds like none of those guys want to be doing it anymore. Robin said they are amazing.
The caller said the guy burping is fucking hysterical. Howard said he knows. The caller said that he sounds like a big bear or something. Howard played the Zeppelin song with the Ron Johnson belching sounds in it. The caller started doing impressions so Howard let him go. Howard asked what the fuck he's doing. Howard played a couple of songs that they put the Ron Johnson belching into.
Howard said he had to take a break. He said he has email to read and he has some great stuff. Howard read one about Robin not wearing seat belts. Howard said people are angry at her about that. Howard said that Robin texted him last night saying she was wearing her seat belt. Robin said she told him that she'd do it for him. She said she's not doing it because she feels safer. Robin said she was undoing her belt before she got out of the car this morning. Robin said she had to have him as a witness.
Howard read an email about how she has two built in air bags on her chest so that's why she doesn't need it. Howard said he had some email about Sal believing in the Long Island Medium.
Howard said the CIA has a Twitter account now and someone wrote that they don't have any desire to see the CIA get into a twitter war with GonzoShitcock.
Robin said she heard that Gary was talking about her getting speeding tickets or something. Gary said he heard that she used to switch driving with her driver. Robin said she used to live 2 hours away and she would meet him half way between. It had nothing to do with a speeding issue. Robin said he just had to get up early so she split the drive. Howard said that's very nice to meet half way. Howard said he loves hearing about her life.
Howard read an email about Robin not wearing belts and how the person feels Robin doesn't care and she's selfish about the whole thing. Howard read an email about how this person saw their father go through the windshield of their car and they don't want Robin to do that. Robin said she's doing that when she's alone so she's not going to hurt someone else. Howard said he had a million letters about Sal debating if he's retarded.
Howard said Sal was on the Wrap Up Show talking about history he learned from a TV show. Howard played a clip of him trying to pronounce Ulysses Grant and he had a hard time with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he agrees with Sal about watching those things. He said if he's going to watch the Lincoln stuff he should go back and watch when he was a young vampire. Howard said he should watch that. He said the caller has a good point there. Howard said he should watch what he did before he because president. The caller said that's how he got into politics. He said some of the politicians were vampires too. The caller asked Howard if he is worried about this Hamptons Kardashian thing they're taping. Howard said he doesn't worry about that stuff. He said he doesn't think that the Kardashians want to go to a house where the theater doesn't work. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said Benjy has to fuck Fred right now to get the show to start at 7. He said he's going to talk to Gary and see if they can make that happen. Benjy said he needs this. Howard said he odes. Benjy said there are studies about cancer about how important sleep is. Howard said he has heard about that. Howard said that a lot of people listen on the app and they only care if they get 15 hours of shows. He said they don't care if they start later. Howard said he's thinking about doing it.
Howard said it would make life easier in the summer if they did that. Howard said there's something depressing about going to bed when it's light out.
Gary told Howard they could start tomorrow. Howard said they'll have to see. Howard said maybe it'll be on Monday. Benjy said he thinks it'll make the show even stronger. Fred said that Benjy will start showing up at 8 if they move it to 7. Howard asked Fred if he'll be happier. Fred said he would. Howard said they'll do it from 7 to 11. He said he thinks that will be fine. Robin said it will make his day longer. Howard said it will.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who brought up how Howard is late watching House of Cards. Howard said that most people don't have time to do things the way Hanzi does. Howard said that he's one of the few who has a retired lifestyle. Hanzi asked why he hasn't watched House of Cards yet. Howard said he hasn't had time to. He said he just got into it recently.
Howard asked if Hanzi likes his parents. Hanzi said he thinks they talk about him behind his back. Howard said he's sure they do. Howard said Hanzi is what they call a problem child. He said he's the opposite of what a parent wants. Howard said a apparent wants to see their child grow and move away. He said that most parents aren't good at that. He said they mother or father too much. He said they can be too protective. Howard said the joy is seeing them move on. He said Hanzi hasn't moved on. Howard said that you don't want to give birth to a loser. Hanzi said he has contributed to the show and he can't even get any movie roles. Howard said he just jumped off what they were talking about. Hanzi said there is no winning there. He said they think he's fucking crazy when he says he doesn't want to be in this life anymore. Howard said he's implying he wants to commit suicide. Hanzi said he's not going to say he likes what life offers.
Howard asked if he likes his parents. Hanzi said he guesses he does. He said they talk behind his back a lot. He said that no one tells the truth so that's why this sucks. He said that Howard claims he doesn't know shit about him when he does. Howard said he really doesn't. He said he knows nothing other than when he calls in. Hanzi said Howard uses specific stuff and it shows he does know more. Howard said he is too paranoid to get a job. Howard said he's never going to bring up Hanzi living in his parent's basement. Howard said that employers can't be worrying about him being so paranoid all the time. Howard said he'd never work with him in a movie. Howard said he's nuts. He said he's certified nuts. Howard said Hanzi thinks he knows more about him than he does. Howard said he can't pout a guy in a movie who thinks there is some secret society.
Robin asked if there are days that he can't get out of bed. Hanzi said there are. Robin said he can't work then. Hanzi said he's only there to be a tax write off.
Gary came in and asked Hanzi about going out with Shuli to a gig once. He said that Shuli said that he got a call from home and it was listed as ''Hell'' on his phone display. Gary asked if that's really how bad he thinks it is. Hanzi said they already brought this up on the air. Hanzi said that this is like X-men and Howard has people handling this stuff for him.
Hanzi said that Hanzi lives in Canada but they have no idea where in Canada he lives. Hanzi said that they all know. He said that he thinks that the world is coming to an end soon and there are people underground working. Howard said he wishes the world were half as exciting as he thinks it is. Hanzi said it is like that. He said he was supposed to be in the secret society in 2011 but he went a little crazy that year. Howard said he really has to go. He hung up on him and played the ''Imran Khan Lives With His Dad and Mom'' song parody.
Howard said he had to decide if he should watch House of Cards or watch Hanzi pick his belly button last night.
Howard said that one hit wonder Psy put out a new song. Howard said it's really bad. He did it with Snoop Dogg and it's just not good. Howard said that 13 million people have already watched it. He said he should have danced Gangnam Style. Howard said the song is called Hangover. He said that's what the whole song is. Howard said it's like someone asked him to torture them this morning.
Howard played the song and said that the lyrics don't even make sense. He sings about how the party is over but it ain't over. Howard said it's like he's just learning English. He said he should go learn English first. Fred played some of the Ron Johnson burping over it.
Howard asked Robin if she would marry Hanzi over Riley Martin. Robin said she would marry Hanzi. Robin said that Riley is 24/7 hands on care. Robin said she thinks that Hanzi is cleaner than Riley. Howard said she took him by surprise there.
Howard played more of the Psy song and talked about how awful it is. Robin said she's not sure why Howard is so happy about this. Howard said this is the way the world is supposed to work. Howard said if he put out a great album like Exile on Main Street then it would be shocking. Howard said he comes out with this and people are like ''What the fuck is this?'' Howard said he's so hopeful that he's going to have another hit. It's just not going to happen.
Howard played more of the song and Snoop comes in half way through. Howard said he thinks that he's going to make something of this song. Howard said Snoop is just talking over the track. He said he may not even listen to the music. Robin said he probably does this 3000 times a day. Howard said he does it for anyone who pays him.
Howard said Snoop probably can't believe he gets paid to do this. He did his Psy impression and had him calling Snoop asking him to babble on his song for 30 seconds. Howard played more of the song and said that Snoop has to buy into Psy now.
Jason came in with the lyrics he printed out. He said they're just nonsense words. Howard said he doesn't know English that well so of course that's what it is. Howard read some of the lyrics and they really didn't make sense.
Howard said he's glad it's awful. He said just imagine he had some brilliant song like Ruby Tuesday. Howard said there's just no way this guy can have another hit song. He said that's the way it is with one hit wonders.
Howard said he likes that Psy doesn't even know. He said the record company even made an expensive video for the song. Howard said he should have had a song about how he'll never have another hit and this song is shit.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he has to congratulate Howard on his house costing more than Dr. Dre's house. Howard said he has to stop it with all of that. He hung up on him saying he's not going to get into that. Howard said it's so annoying. He played a clip of a guy doing a King of All Blacks impression.
Howard said he felt bad for this kid Daughtry who was on American Idol. Howard said he went on FOX and Friends to promote his appearance and one of the guys asked Daughtry to sing a patriotic song on the show. Howard said Daughtry said he was off the clock and later on in the day one of the guys on a show said they picked him a the fool of the week. Howard said the guy was a guest on the show and they go on to call him the fool of the week. Howard said he should get a break for going on their show. Robin said they could have asked him to have a song prepared for them too. Howard said they started dumping on this guy like he had committed a murder.
Howard played a clip from the show and Daughtry had just finished doing a couple of songs. They were giving him a hard time about how he had worked hard doing the other songs. JD came in and said that it wasn't even on the regular show. It was on their after show which was on the internet. They had people screaming for one more song and the hosts were asking what other song they could do together. Daughtry said he was off the clock and he'll watch them now. Howard said he already performed for them. He said he's at the lowest form of the business on their after show. He said that the guy hung around for their after show so he was nice to do that. Howard said then they call him the fool of the week.
Howard played the clip of them calling Daughtry the fool of the week. The host of this FOX show was talking about how he refused to perform another song. Howard said the guy had just done songs for them. They cut the clip up to make it sound like he said he was off the clock. JD said he actually cut it down himself. The hosts of the show were talking about how it was D-day and he said he was off the clock and walked off stage. Howard said maybe they should have hung him right there. He said they have to be fucking kidding him. Howard said he was a gentleman going there and performing for them and then he left.
Howard said they make it sound like he's not a patriot for not doing another song. One of the hosts said that maybe he didn't have a song prepared. Howard said she's right. Howard said this kid is such a sensitive guy that he went on the internet and started apologizing. Howard said he shouldn't have done that. He said he did nothing wrong.
Howard said that being a patriot has nothing to do with singing a song. Howard said if you really want to be one then go join the military. Howard said that's what the fuck from FOX should do.
Howard played some audio of Daughtry's apology clip from the internet. Howard said he's in hiding now from this. Howard cut the clip off and did an impression of him making his apology from his basement. Daughtry was talking about how they wanted him to do something patriotic to honor the troops. Howard said that wasn't honoring the troops. He said if they want to do that they should make sure they have medical care.
Howard said they call the guy the fool of the week over that. Robin asked if there was really fallout over that. Howard said there must have been. Howard said what no one told him is that everyone who watches FOX News is his age or older.
Daughtry was talking about how it was disrespectful and he had a poor choice of words. Howard said he sounds suicidal over this. Howard said it has nothing to do with his patriotism. He said that he shouldn't have to sing with Steve Ducey. Howard said that they pulled this out of their ass and Daughtry should have said he just didn't want to sing with them.
Howard said he did nothing wrong and he doesn't need to do this apology. Howard did his impression of him talking about how he's going to sing only patriotic songs and sew a flag just like Betsy Ross did. Howard said they really humiliated this guy. Howard said he shouldn't beat himself up over this. He said he'll be just fine.
Howard asked if Daughtry is using the same recording equipment as Ron Johnson the belcher is. Fred played some belching clips while Howard did the impression of Daughtry in his basement.
Howard played the clips of Daughtry and Ron Johnson and compared the quality. They were similar sounding. Howard went back and forth having Daughtry belching. Howard said Daughtry needs that belching disease. He said the poor guy is the fool of the week on FOX.
Gary told Howard that the guy who called him the fool called him a class act after Daughtry apologized. Howard said this poor kid is recording in his basement like Ron the belcher. Howard played the two clips back and forth again.
Howard sang some of the song ''America the Beautiful'' and said he thinks he knows the lyrics. He knew a lot but not all.
Howard said he has to take a break. He said Willie Nelson is coming in and he just got his black belt in Karate. Howard said he doesn't think he's singing today but he loves talking to him about hanging out with Matthew McConaughey. Howard said he finally saw that True Detective series and thought it was great. Howard said he lost all of his muscle mass and he looks like a train wreck. He said that he can act though.
Howard said he likes that the Tom Cruise movie cost like $100 million and it didn't make much at the box office. Howard said that the thing that won at the box office was a $12 million movie. Howard said that it went up against a huge blockbuster movie and won. Robin said the story in that movie is about cancer. Robin said she hasn't seen that movie. She said she saw the Tom Cruise movie (Edge of Tomorrow) and it was great. Robin said it made like $30 million but that's not a lot. Howard said he likes to see movies like that make money because it means they'll keep making them. Robin said Emily Blunt is in it and she's good. Howard said he likes her. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he was just talking to the guys about Willie Nelson and he sang some lyrics of one of his songs. They didn't know it. Fred said Howard is right. He said it's from Honeysuckle Rose. Howard said that's when he wrote Crazy. Fred said that was from the 60s actually. Fred said it's dedicated to a friend who died in a motorcycle accident.
Howard wondered if he should play guitar for Willie. Howard said that Donovan actually offered to give him lessons. Howard said he can't play that well so fuck it. He said he can't play like these guys like Pat Monahan. Howard said Donovan has a really easy guitar to play and it doesn't hurt your fingers. Fred said the best ones are the easiest to play. Fred said they usually run around $5,000. Howard said it's the best guitar because it doesn't hurt your fingers.
Howard said Jeff the Drunk says that Willie does a cover of ''A Whiter Shade of Pale.'' Howard told the guys to get Willie in there. Willie came in a short time later. He wished Howard a happy birthday a little late. Willie said he wishes he could remember 60. Howard said he'd rather not talk about it.
Howard asked if he does ''A Whiter Shade of Pale.'' Willie said he has done it but not in his shows usually. Howard asked Willie about the song he was talking about from Honeysuckle Rose. Willie and Howard spent a minute on that and then talked about ''On the Road Again'' and how he wrote that for the Honeysuckle Rose movie. Willie said he just wrote it on the spot and it was on a vomit bag. Howard asked if he saved that bag. Willie said he has no idea. Howard said that bag could be worth a lot of money. He said they could put it up for auction and it would be worth a lot. Howard asked about writing that song and if it was a 5 second process. Willie said he had the lyrics and by the time he got to the studio he would have a melody.
Howard said Willie started writing poetry at the age of 5. Howard asked if it was sophisticated. Willie said it wasn't. Howard asked if people laughed at him at that age. Willie said he and his sister played in the study hall and the kids loved it. He said that was in Abbot, Texas.
Howard asked Willie about reciting a poem at the age of 6 and he was so nervous that he picked his nose. Willie said he was at church and he picked his nose and his nose started bleeding. He said the poem was about people looking at him and how they should look away. He said his nickname was Booger Red after that. Willie said that didn't last long though. He said they were fightin' words. Howard asked if that name embarrassed him. Willie said it did a little bit.
Howard asked if it's necessary to have a grandmother to teach you poetry to learn to be a good song writer. Willie said it was the right thing for him. He said that they were musicians and poets too. Howard said when you start writing at 5 it has to come from somewhere. Willie said he started early and started putting them to guitar. He said he started on guitar at 6.
Howard said Donovan was in there and he gave him a guitar. He said he has it at home and he's a hack. He said he took some lessons and started playing. Then he sees guys like Willie playing and he gives up. Willie said that's kind of like him playing golf.
Howard asked Willie if he's still hanging in Hawaii. Willie said he is and he hangs out with Woody and Owen and guys like that. Howard asked if he saw that True Detective show. Willie said he did and he thought it was great.
Howard said it's great that you can walk into a store and buy pot now. Willie said that he never thought he'd see the day. Howard said Maureen Dowd did a story about that and she took some of the edible THC stuff. Willie said you have to be careful with that stuff. Robin asked if he ingests stuff like that and if it's different. Willie said it's more of a body stone and that's not for him. Robin said she has no idea what that even is.
Howard said he went to play golf and it took them 4 hours to get through 4 holes. Howard said they had a comfort room there on the fourth hole. He said that's the stuff he can handle and now he gets why people golf.
Howard said he didn't know that Willie was a radio DJ. Howard asked if he went to college. Willie said he went to Baylor for a while. He said he majored in business administration. Howard said that's amazing. Willie said he needed a lot of schooling.
Howard asked Willie if he wanted to be an entertainer all along. Willie said he did. He said that he had to get by so he had all of those other jobs. Howard asked what years he was on the radio. Willie said it was back in the 40s. Howard said he was a highly rated DJ. Willie said he did pretty good. Howard asked if he was playing music. Willie said he was. Howard asked if he was nervous the first time on the air. Willie said not really. He said he was already used to entertaining people.
Howard said he read that Willie used to get so bored as a kid that he would go into the fields and fight bees. He asked how he did that. Willie said the farmers would run into nests out in the field and they would come into their store and tell him where they were. He said that they would sting you in the eye too. Willie said they had ping pong paddles with holes drilled in them to hit them with. Howard said that it sounds dangerous. Willie said he went home with his eyes closed more than once. Howard asked if his grandmother told him to stop it. Willie said that she did.
Howard asked where his parents were. Willie said they weren't around much after the age of 6 months. He was raised by his grandmother. Howard asked how his own marriage is. Willie said things are good. He said he's been married 30-40 years now.
Howard asked Willie about being older and if it's tough. Willie said he's been so lucky so far. He said he's been active and going out and performing and singing every night keeps him in shape. He's also a runner. He said he used to run more but his knees got sore. Howard asked what he got his black belt in. Willie said it's called Kung Quan Sool or something like that. Howard asked if it's an Elvis kind of black belt where they just gave it to him because of who he is. Willie said he hopes not. He said he had to take a test and break some boards and stuff. Howard asked if he does it every day. Willie said he does something a little bit every day.
Howard asked Willie what he made doing his radio show. Willie said it was maybe 40 bucks a week. Howard asked if the DJ thing was a means to an end. He said he knows he wanted to be a musician. Willie said he could play his own stuff and promote where he was going to be performing.
Howard said Willie would get on the radio and play his records. Howard said this song he played was written at the radio station. He played an example of the song he was talking about. Willie said he did that at the station. He sold the records for a buck and he sold 3,000 of them. Willie said he did. Howard said that's some voice he has. Howard asked if he's one of the best singers ever. Willie said he thinks that Sinatra and guys like that are the best. Howard said Willie has to be up there though. Howard said he has a way of singing and he kind of holds back on words and it's just so relaxed. He said it's like he's talking to people. Willie said he's been accused of talking his songs. Howard said that's not what he meant though.
Howard played another song called ''Nightlife'' by Willie. He wrote that one in the 1950s. Howard said he wrote a couple of his other hits in the same week back then. Howard asked what it was that made him write that stuff. Willie said he was working as a DJ and he went to Nashville to break into music. He said he wrote them on his way to Nashville. Howard said they say that there's something about driving a car that turns off the left side of your brain. Howard said the right side opens up and that's the creative side. Howard said driving seems to free him creatively. Willie said he will get in a car and drive if he needs to write a song. He said he will do it too. Howard said that's amazing.
Howard asked Willie if he is a religious man. Willie said he doesn't know. Howard said he must think that the songs come from God. Willie said absolutely. Robin asked what is happening to Willie when he's writing a song like Nightlife. Willie said you never know if it's good until you put it down on paper. He said he has to try and remember it on his drive home. Howard said if he had a tape recorder he could have done it. Robin said it would have been very bulky back then.
Howard played Willie's song ''Crazy'' and said this song came up in the same week as ''Nightlife.'' Howard asked if he really called it ''Stupid'' when he first wrote it. Willie said that came up later when he thought it would be funny.
Howard asked what he thinks about when he hears the song replayed. Willie said he thinks about writing it and about other people singing the song. Howard asked if he ever sits home and listens to his old music. Willie said he'll do that occasionally. Howard asked if he still has a record player. Willie said no. He said he listens on CD. Howard asked why people are so hung up on vinyl. Willie said he's not sure. He said there might be an argument about how it sounds better in some way but it's so easy to throw in a CD.
Howard said he loves the song ''Crazy'' but he likes the history of it too. Howard said Willie was also a song writer trying to sell his songs to other singers. Willie said that's why he went to Nashville. He said he took a record of his that Howard played. He said he put them on a jukebox and Patsy Cline's husband heard the song Crazy. He said that he brought the song back for her to hear it and she got up out of bed and listened to it. She recorded it the next week.
Howard said that Willie had to network himself back then. Howard said you have to hang with people and you can't just post on YouTube. Howard said Willie wrote that song for Billy Walker but Billy didn't want it. Willie said he actually recorded it and had a big hit with it. Howard said he heard he rejected it and maybe Willie is wrong. Willie said he's pretty sure he had a hit with it.
Willie said he had a bunch of people covering his songs. He said Roy Orbison did ''Pretty Paper'' and that was a hit. Howard played some of that song.
Howard asked Willie if he was angry that he wasn't better known. Howard said he had all of these songs being recorded. Willie said he was having a good time writing songs and hanging out in Nashville. He said he was just hanging around being lazy. Howard said he is no slouch. Willie said he had a friend who wanted him to stay home and write just for him. Willie said he wanted to do his own thing though.
Howard asked Willie about writing for a record company and how he got paid on that. Willie said they split it 50/50. Howard asked if his family was bugging him for money at that point. Willie said a little bit but not that strong. He said they were all poor so a little money now and then was good. He said he threw it around a little bit.
Howard asked how he got Roy Orbison to do a song. Willie said that they had a get together and they were all singing songs. He said he sang Pretty Paper for Roy and Roy loved it so he recorded it. Howard asked if he was there when he recorded it. Willie said he wasn't. He was there when Patsy did ''Crazy'' though.
Howard asked what song he learned as a kid. Willie said he learned Amazing Grace. He said they all sang that in church.
Howard asked if he still tours a lot. Willie said he does. He said the touring you can get tired of but he never gets tired of the music. Howard asked what drives him to go out on tour at the age of 81. He said it must not be for the women. Willie said that's not the main reason for it. Howard said you get to the point where sex isn't the drive in your life. Howard said you don't fuck your life up so much when you get there.
Howard asked if he's smoking weed from a vaporizer now. Willie said he is and asked if Howard wanted a hit. Howard said no. Howard asked if he likes the vaporizer. Willie said it's great because there is no smoke. He said it's better for a singer. Howard said he saw Whoopi Goldberg with a vape pen and he didn't know what it was. Willie showed Howard his and took a hit off of it.
Howard asked why he didn't write for so long. Willie said you just run out of things to write. He said he'd go on a car drive and nothing would happen other than having a nice drive.
Howard played a track off the album and said that he heard that he was paid $1 million to perform at Bill Gates' wedding. Willie said he was. He said he had to do 6 or 8 songs. Howard asked if he felt he deserved it. Willie said he didn't send it back.
Robin asked if his tax problems are taken care of and is he paying them now. Willie said he has people watching that now. He said he make sure it's done.
Howard played another track from the new album called ''The Wall.'' Willie said he had hit the wall himself. He said he had a shoulder problem and he went to Germany to have a special procedure done there. He said that's what he wrote the song about.
Howard said Willie had a nickname of Shotgun Willie because he was defending his daughter against this guy who was beating her up. Willie said he went over and kicked the shit out of the guy and blew his tires off. Robin asked if that was the cure. Willie said it took care of the problem. Howard asked how he got the name Shotgun Willie. Willie said he wrote a song about it. Howard asked if his daughter appreciated what he did for her. Willie said he thinks she did.
Robin asked how many kids he has. Willie said one just showed up a few years ago. He said that's kind of cool. He said he remembered her mother and she was a great gal. Howard asked why the woman didn't tell him it was his. Willie said he thinks she didn't want him to feel obligated to hang around. Howard said that's great. Howard asked how old she was when she showed up. Willie said she was 17 or 18. Howard asked if he was blown away. Willie said he didn't know but they did the DNA thing and it turns out she was his kid. Howard asked if it was wired. Willie said he could see that they were related in some way. He said they still have a relationship. He said she had some medical problems and she's doing okay now. Howard said that means that he's going to have to split up the money even more. Willie said they can all fight over that. Howard said this kid is going to get a cut of the action now. Willie said sure she will.
Howard said he saw that he did a whole John Varvatos thing with his kids. He said his kids come on tour with him now too. Willie said they do. He said one day his son Lucas started playing and then the other one did and now they're really good.
Howard said that Willie used to have to pawn his instruments to pay his bills. Willie said he would pawn them during the week and then go back on the weekend to get them back for his gigs.
Howard asked Willie about the guitar he plays and why he thinks he still plays the same thing. Willie said it's the one he likes to play. He said it has a tone he really likes. Willie said that he calls it Trigger. Howard said a lot of guys call their stuff by women's names. He asked if Willie thinks it's gay to call it a male name. Willie didn't seem to care either way.
Howard talked to Willie about some of the people he's met and worked with over the years. Howard said it must be depressing when he hears about them passing away. Willie said it is very sad.
Howard said Willie took a stand on the whole Sea World thing and he refused to do shows there. Willie said a lot of artists seem to be doing that now.
Howard said that Roseanne was on the show recently and she said that Willie agreed to be her vice president if she ran. Howard asked why he did that. Willie said that he must have been drunk at the time.
Howard gave Willie some more plugs for his album and his web site. Howard also said that if you are one of Willie's children who he hasn't met yet, then come out now. He said they all want to know what the deal is before he's gone so they know if they have to give another piece of the pie.
Howard said Willie is a chess player. Howard said he tried playing for a while and it became so maddening that he had to stop cold turkey. Howard said he played on the ICC many times. Willie said he has about 10 games going on right now online. He said he plays pretty fast. Howard said he should play slow chess. He said that's what the masters do. Howard said you can't be arrogant and think you can consider all of the moves. Howard said he's trying to tell Willie not to enjoy chess. He said he's trying to ruin it for him like he ruined it for himself.
Willie said he loves dominoes too. He said that he plays poker. Howard said that he imagines him doing all of that in Hawaii after getting high. Howard said he wouldn't be able to do that. He said that they'd throw him right out of there if he hung out with them. Howard asked how many of them hang out. Willie said it's 8 or 10 guys. He said it's pretty much the same guys every week. Howard asked if they have kicked guys out of the group. Willie said they have. Howard said he imagines he'd be on that list. He said he'd love to see who is on the list.
Howard asked if they have chicks involved. Willie said they do not. Howard asked if his wife is there with him today. Willie said she is. Howard said he should say hello to her. Gary came in and said she's very sweet but said no thanks. Her name is Annie.
Howard said Annie is like a princes. Willie said she's a great cook too. He said she's a chef. Howard asked where he met her. Willie said he met her on a movie. He said she was a makeup artist. Howard said those makeup artists are always the hottest. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
The caller said last week they had Wolfie on with the interviews and they say that people who go to those cons are losers. He said it's interesting that Hanzi's last name is Khan.
The caller also said that they have the Sternthology thing and they had Eric the Paper Weight on and they should play the clip where they explained to Eric why Carrie Underwood would call him. Howard said he's look into it.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked about what he thinks about Arsenio Hall's show being canceled. Howard asked Bobo if he wrote that question down. Bobo said he did. Bobo said he just remembered it and asked it off the cuff. Howard asked if he is reading it right now. Bobo said no. Howard asked if he practices the question out loud. Bobo said he never does that. Howard said it sounded like he was reading. Bobo said he wasn't reading it.
Howard said Arsenio was booked for the show last week. He said he was excited about it too. He said he hasn't seen him in 100 years. Howard said he likes the guy and he was happy he was back on the air. Howard said he wanted to talk to him about one of his favorite movies, Coming to America. Howard said he has a million questions for Arsenio so he was looking forward to seeing him. Then his show got canceled and Arsenio canceled his appearance.
Howard said they had Jay Leno on Arsenio's show and he announced that his show was renewed for a second season. Howard said he thought that was interesting. Then he heard there were weird things going on with Arsenio's show and they may have Jay take over his show. Howard said that if he fucked over Arsenio that would be horrible. Howard said he heard that Arsenio's show was canceled and he was so disappointed. Howard said he's not sure what the Jay Leno announcement was based on. Howard said they announce that the show was renewed and then it's not. Howard said everything Jay is involved with seems to be fake. He said he's confused by it all.
Gary came in and said they had a conversation with Bobo last year about trying to book guests on the show. He said that they told him no about Dog the Bounty Hunter. Bobo said that he was talking to them about the seat belt thing he's trying to push. Howard said he has to talk to him about that too. He said Bobo calls himself an expert because of the seat belt thing. Howard said he's not sure why Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife would care about that either. Bobo said that he said he'd like to meet up with them when they're in New York. Bobo said they asked him if he could get them on the Howard Stern Show. Howard said he doesn't really know the show and he's not sure why Bobo keeps this agenda going. Bobo said he told them that it's up to Gary but he'd pitch it again. Howard said maybe Bobo can do the interview and he'll run it on Howard 101. Gary said he might tune in for that. Bobo said he'd have to do research for that. Gary said it sounds like he already did.
Howard played one of the messages Bobo left for Gary telling him about how he's stayed in touch with Beth Chapman, Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife. Bobo said he reached out to her that day for some reason that wasn't about the show. Bobo said he reached out to Beth about meeting up with them when they were in New York. Howard said that Bobo must be representing him as part of the Howard Stern show. Howard said they know he does that already.
Gary said that he edited this down by about 1/3. He said Bobo was getting into a lot of stuff about why they should have them on. Gary said if you're Mrs. Dog and you see that Bobo hair piece, does it all go out the window? Howard said he thinks that it's like the bottom of the barrel when Bobo is your connection to the show. Howard asked Bobo to please leave more messages about Dog the Bounty Hunter. Bobo said he's done. Howard told Gary to put the full message up online so people can have fun with it.
Howard asked if Bobo has spoken to Dog. Bobo said he has. He said that Dog was mad about how they thought they were booked on the show and they didn't get on. Bobo said that they straightened all of that stuff out. He said they did that last year. Howard said at least he still has the wife to talk to. Howard let Bobo go after that.
Howard said people are sending in Wolfie jingles but they're not going to let him have one. Howard played one that he said was the best. It was from Little Mikey and he sang about how he doesn't think anyone should write him a song and he should just shut up and go Comic-Con. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie and Willie got into a fight who would win? Howard said Willie has the black belt. Howard said he's not sure though. He said it would be a good fight. Howard let the song play a little more. Howard said Ronnie swears he can kick ass but no one has ever seen it. He asked Fred if he's ever heard that song. Fred said he hasn't. He said it's allegedly about one of his ex-wives.
Howard said the full version of the Bobo voice mail is up on HowardStern.com. He took a call from Balls who said that he loved the Willie Nelson interview. He brought up the nicknames he had and how Booger Red seemed to be a good name for a band. Howard said he met Annie when Willie was leaving. He said he invited him to come out to Maui. Howard said he told him it would be a disaster. He said Willie insisted but he thinks that he would end up hating him. He said that he thinks he has to go now but he doesn't want to fly. He said he would rather drive. Howard said he once went to Hawaii and he hated it. Robin said it's so beautiful. Howard said he and Beth went when they were first dating and he was paranoid about people photographing then. Howard said Beth thought he was nuts but some guy was taking pictures through their window.
Howard said he loves Woody Harrelson and the group of guys sound like fun but that's just not for him. He said he imagines them picking up instruments and playing a song but then he'd have to do that. He said they'd want him to stay up late and he can't do that. He said he isn't good at life. He said he'd be like Bobo with prepared questions. He said that they'd be taking hits off their vape pens and all of that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said that was some commercial he just did. He said he weaved in that whole story about Rihanna. Howard got back to that story and made up some things that Chris might say to Gwyneth as he's fucking Rihanna. Robin said it's possible they're just collaborating on music. Howard said maybe Chris is asking Gwyneth to just watch the kids for the next 3 years while he gets that all out of his system. Howard kept the discussions between Chris Martin and Gwyneth going for a short time.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked what he feels about Beth being number 98 on the top 100 hottest chicks. Howard said he thought it was great. He said Beth seemed to be happy about it too. Howard said she never thought they'd think of her. Howard said he told her she's the hottest. Howard said he is the most fuckable guy in America so why wouldn't he be with a top 100 chick. Speech said that he should be with a top 10 girl. Howard said he has his top 10 girl.
Howard said Speech is 500 millionth on the list. Speech said his wife is number one. Howard said that he got married and no one can figure it out. Speech said they got married on October 19th. He said they did it in Las Vegas.
Fred was doing his impression of Speech Impediment Man. He had the voice down pretty good too. Speech asked Howard if he's still jerking off to baby sitting porn. Howard said a good buddy of his went out to dinner with him and he gave him some links to some new porn sites. Howard said the guy sent him one to a site where this really good looking chick has three maids working for her. He said they're hot and the chick is hot. Howard said they act pretty good too. Howard said the one hot maid dropped a vase and broke it. He said the hot chick mistress makes the bad maid ride a dildo on the floor. He said that's where he came up with the dildo thing for Rihanna. Howard said that's why he was late watching House of Cards last night.
Speech told Howard about a porn he likes and Howard said there's nothing like hearing about porn from Speech Impediment Man. Fred did more of his impression of Speech and Howard did the voices in his wife's head about what she thinks about Speech. Howard had her locking him in the basement and Fred was doing his voice telling her that he's stuck down there and it's very hot. Howard thanked Speech for the call and let him go.
Howard said he should make a movie where Jon Hein is Speech Impediment Man's wife. Howard said maybe he'll write it up and shoot it. He said it would be cool where Jon is bent over taking Speech Impediment Man's cock up his ass.
Sal came in and said that he has a wig but Jon wouldn't pout it on. Howard said he should lighten up and just get a fucking grip. Howard told Jon to come in and put on the wig. Howard said lucky for Jon he'll never write that movie. He did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said that he has a copy of a check that Moe Howard wrote. He said he has to keep in mind that even Moe had a checking account. Howard had the stooges talking about what they were going to do in a movie. Howard said Moe would brush his hair back when he was having meetings. He said that was the Business Moe.
Howard said his dad had a cool job but he'd come home complaining about it. Howard said everyone comes home from work miserable. Robin said Willie Nelson doesn't seem to have that problem. Howard said he just smokes pot until the pain goes away. Howard said he thinks he was hammered there. Howard said he was looking for his hat and he had no idea it was on his head. Howard said they have to start the news. He said he has to do this first. He read another live commercial.
Howard said it was time for Robin's news. Fred played her in with a song parody from Matt Evans. Howard said he's some talent. He said it's inspirational.
Robin started her news with a story about a physician who has been suspended for texting during operations. Robin said that guys don't care what they're doing they're going to do what they have to do to talk to women. Howard said that the drive is always there if you're a guy. He said the longer you live the less you concentrate on that.
Howard said that Jon Hein posed for a picture they put on the web. He said they have it up on all of their social media accounts.
Robin said Tracy Morgan is still in the hospital but they're squashing rumors that his leg has been amputated. Robin said that there are a lot of people pulling for Tracy and she had some audio of Jimmy Fallon talking about that. Robin said a rep says that he's in critical but stable condition right now. Robin said the driver of the truck that hit Tracy's van may not have slept in 24 hours. Robin said Walmart has said that he was still within federal regulations. Howard asked how you can drive a truck without sleep in 24 hours. Robin said that's what she was wondering.
Robin read about Casey Kasem and how the fighting is still going on in his family. Robin said that the wife has won a court order to keep feeding and hydration for Casey. Robin said the daughter was upset because she felt the hydration was filling his lungs with fluid. Howard said he can't believe this is going on. Robin said that the medical issues are apparently going to have to be reviewed by a court. Howard said it's kind of cool. He said he hopes he goes out with such fanfare. Howard said people are fightin over what to feed the guy.
Robin read about the carriage horses in New York City and how people are wondering if it's cruel or safe or what. Robin said yesterday a horse went on a stampeded and someone tried to stop it and it ended up slamming into a cab. Howard said they put big hats on the poor horses. He said he hopes they have no awareness that they're dressed like a colorful Hasidim. Howard said it's like putting Jon Hein in a wig, it's just not right. Robin read about how the man tried to stop the horse and he wasn't able to control it at all. Robin said the horse crashed into an open car door which slowed it down. Howard said that's just so wrong. That led to Howard plugging the auction that's going on for the chance to meet him.
Robin read about Halle Berry fighting with her ex over their daughter. Howard asked if she's still hot. Robin said she is. She said she thinks it's terminal for her and she'll die hot. Robin said that Halle is going to have to pay $16,000 in child support for her daughter. Howard said that's great. He said that's how you know you're a hot dude when you have Halle Berry paying you child support. Robin said she has to pay his attorney's fees too and they're $300,000. Howard wondered if she has that kind of money. Robin said she has been in some big movies. Howard said she's so hot that dudes should have to pay her but she has to pay the dude. Robin said the guy is a male model. Howard said that's a wise decision. Howard said that's so cool.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him about the best porn scene ever would be Robin licking Bryan Cranston's ass with a sausage up her pussy. Howard said that Cranston is a good looking dude. Howard said he thought he was in the same boat as he was in but he's a much better looking man. Robin said she read that Steven Spielberg is going to turn that play that Cranston is in into a mini-series.
Robin read about this couple that shot up people in Las Vegas. Robin said they were government hating white supremacists. Robin said they saw police officers as oppressors. Howard said they are kind of oppressors if you want to break the law. Robin read about what they've been finding out about this couple and how they were living. Robin said they always talked about killing cops and how they were going to do away with themselves in the end. Robin had some audio of the guy who shot the cops talking about how he felt sorry for anyone who was going to bring violence to them. Robin said she's not sure why this couple was allowed to rant and spew on Facebook and no one was looking into them. Howard said there are just too many people on this planet. He said they can't even lock these people up because the prisons are so full.
Robin read a story about a young girl who may have done something for this fictional Slender Man thing. She may have attacked her mother over that. Robin asked what you do if your kid is into that character. Howard said you call the authorities. Robin said it doesn't do any good. Howard said we're all doomed.
Robin read about Hillary Clinton's new book and told Howard about some of the things that she was saying in the book. She claims that they were broke at one time. Howard said that a politician should be broke when they are in office. He said these people leave office millionaires. He said you're not supposed to make millions in those jobs. He said if you are then there's something seriously wrong. Robin said Hillary said they had no money at all after the legal fees from the Monica Lewinsky case and Paula Jones case. Robin said if they were so broke that they had to live on the street, the secret service would have had to have guarded their cardboard box. They get Secret Service coverage once they get out of office no mater what. Robin had some audio of Hillary Clinton talking about the Benghazi incident.
Robin read a story about some gamers who solved a crime. Robin had some audio of a police officer who explained the story and how one guy was getting robbed while other players saw it going on.
Robin read about the White House still defending the swap of prisoners for Bowe Bergdahl. Robin had some audio of a White House spokesman talking about that.
Robin read a story about a guy who kidnapped his girlfriend's daughter and kept her locked up for 10 years. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that story. Robin said the guy faces up to 19 years in prison.
Robin had some audio of someone commenting on what they're doing for the Veteran's Administration to get people help faster.
Robin read a story about Ted Nugent doing a collaboration with Sammy Hagar. Robin had a clip of their new song ''She's Gone.''
Robin read a story about how President Obama is trying to reduce student loan debt. Robin had a clip of him talking about that.
Robin read a story about how there's a drought in Texas and there are very aggressive mosquitos down there now. Robin said they are saying that the bugs are evolving to adapt to the conditions. Robin said they are calling them super mosquitos. Howard said we're all going to be extinct soon.
Robin read about the Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart break up. Howard said she's another one who really knows how to pick a man. Robin said there were rumors about him going out with Transgender people. Howard said he heard she's paying him. Robin said they say that they broke up 2 months ago and he hasn't moved out yet because she's been on tour. Robin said Casper is denying that he had a relationship with a Transgender model. Howard said he loves stories like that. He said it must be so great to be a hot guy.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon said Benjy kept asking Howard if he really meant it. He said everyone was wondering why Benjy was pushing it. Jon said Howard is going to talk to Gary about it and he may start the show at 7. Gary said it has come up in the past and maybe something has changed.
Gary asked Jon how it would affect him. Jon said it doesn't help the Long Island commute. Gary said he thinks he could live with that to get more sleep. Jon said he won't be able to get much more sleep. He said maybe 30 minutes. Gary said that means a lot. Jon said that half hour could mean much bigger delays for them getting in.
Gary said he gets up at 4:10 every morning. He said if he could get up at 4:45 it would be a huge difference. He said he'd still leave early and he may not hit that much more traffic. Jon said they'll hit more traffic in the afternoon too. Gary said when they leave now it's the very beginning of traffic. He said he could go from a 50 minute commute to an hour and 20 minute commute. Gary said these are first world problems.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she has been listening since 1982. She said that she thinks for the listeners it would be much greater. She said by the time she gets to her car it's about 7. She said that she has missed about an hour of the show if they start at 6. Gary said they're living by rules that started 50 years ago in radio. He said 6-10 was it. He said now people work from home and you can pause and listen all day long. He said the time doesn't matter like it used to. Jon said the show replays all day. He said it may throw off your morning schedule but you'll hear it.
Gary said he just had a revelation. He said if they start an hour later he can take the train. He said he can watch movies and read the news on the train. He said maybe that's how he'll deal with the traffic in the afternoon.
Gary said he doesn't think the time of the show matters that much. Jon said that he thinks everyone would be thrilled with an 8 o'clock start. Gary said if they did that they could get so many other guests. Gary said lots of people say it's just too early. Jon asked if Howard would be able to adjust easily. Gary said he was talking to a friend who says he gets email from Howard at 4:30 in the morning. He will have to adjust to getting up later.
Jon took a call from a woman who said the move might forget why he liked the time. She asked if he's forgetting why he used to get up for the guys who are getting up earlier. Gary said the show is still there. He said the replay is still on at 6. Jon said they'll be listening to the last hour of the previous day's show. It's just an hour shift.
Jon took a call from Jim in Raleigh who said that Howard might feel better if he changes the time. He said there must be something else going on there that's making him want the change.
Gary asked if Benjy will still be late at 7. Jon said yes. He said he's a last minute kind of guy. He said that Benjy gets that funny tone where he thinks he won't be late again if they move the show start an hour later. Jon said Benjy was pushing Howard on it today and they were hoping he'd back off and let Howard digest it.
Steve Brandano said that he'd like the shift to happen. He said he was scared that Benjy was going to annoy him and make him change his mind. Gary said Howard has had this in his mind for a while so he's pretty sure he won't change his mind.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he listens to the whole show in its entirety. He said it will screw him up totally. He said that he's out working at 3 in the morning. He said it's nice to get part of the show but that's just his opinion. He said it's just not the same thing when they start later.
Gary said he knows it sucks for him on a personal level. He said he thinks there are less people who leave that early these days.
Gary said years ago they did a thing where they brought their kids in and he had everything fucked up that morning. He said he didn't have his normal routine that morning. Jon said that there are so many factors to deal with. Gary said they get up so ridiculously early and he can't take the train because there isn't one at that time. Jon said they'll take a break and talk about more stuff after that.
Jon said that he wrote so many different songs over the years. He said that the big revelation to him was that he was a DJ and a successful one at that. Jon said it was something he love to do too. Gary said he loves that he was able to record stuff at the station and sell it.
Jon said that there is something to be said for the Maui lifestyle. He said he and his wife are very tight and they have the occasional kid coming forward out of nowhere. Gary said Willie was $16 million in debt at one point and he never declared bankruptcy. He said he paid that all off. He said that it's hard to believe that he made a fortune, lost it and then got it back again. Steve said that Willie did say he has a couple of people watching the tax thing now.
Jon said the other thing they talked about was writing ''On the Road Again'' and how he had a hit song pretty quickly. Gary said that the best songs seem to spit out quickly. Jon said he had that one week where he wrote three hits.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he heard Willie was going to be on today and he though it was going to be like every other interview. He said Howard really did a great job with it though and it was really enjoyable. Gary said that Willie is like one of those guys who offers his Vaporizer to anyone. He said that was great. Jon said he was on the couch enjoying it and saying it was all good.
Jon asked if Howard is going to make it out to Maui and hang with the guys. Gary said if he was going there for anything else he would make it happen but he's not going to go there just to hang with Willie. Gary said he mentioned it later in the show. Gary said Howard had a bad experience with Paparazzi out there. Gary said he's never been. He said he has a friend who goes out there once a year and he can't say enough about it.
Jon said he's been and it lived up to his expectations. Gary said he and his wife did Europe on their honeymoon. He said that they always said that they can relax when they get older. He said they have to get out to Hawaii.
Jon said that Willie had a couple of nicknames like Booger Red. Jon said he used to be called Heiny all the time. Gary said he was called Gary Masturbate a lot. Jon said every kid has a nickname at some point. Gary said he had a friend who suggested ''Celebrate With Dell'Abate'' when he was running for class president. He said they put up signs and everyone went and changed them all to Masturbate.
Jon took a call from Ralph Cirella and Gary asked what the rest of his week is like when Howard isn't on. Ralph said he has 3 reasons for Howard to change his start time. He said he thinks that they can get more guests if they move it. Gary said that they have another open hour but that should work. Ralph said the number 2 reason is that it'll be better for Howard. He said that getting up so early is abnormal. He said it's really difficult. He said no one wants to be up that early. Jon said that he's still going to get up early. Ralph said that one hour is like 3 hours at any other time. He said an extra 10 minutes is golden at that time. Gary said Ralph is right about that.
Gary said he is like a fireman. He said he has a walk in closet and he has everything ready to go when he gets ready in the morning. He said he gets ready and gets right out the door after taking a shower.
Ralph said the number one reason for the show time change is that he'll be able to call in more. He said he gets up around 9.
Gary asked what his typical day is like. Ralph said he has a lot of stuff to do but it's random stuff. Gary asked if it's work or personal. Ralph said it's both. He said he has to go to a tailor and bring a shirt to get worked on and things like that. He said tomorrow he has a big meeting at the station.
Jon said that they've made it about them and not about why Howard would like the change. Ralph said the show is constantly on so it doesn't matter if it's immediately live. Jon said he's curious to see how it works out. They went to break after that.
Gary said he doesn't know of any other job where the boss's mood affects them so much. He said there's a weird thing that goes on there. Ronnie said one of them will get the brunt of it. Gary said that Will, Jon, JD and he are all in there trying to gauge what the mood is first thing in the morning. Gary said that some days he's in a great mood and sometimes not. Gary said that he is very capable of being in a shitty mood at 5:30 and rebounding quickly. He said you just don't know.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he gets in the car at 5 and he turns the show on at 5:30. He said he's already heard the show from the say before. He said he can't wait for 6 o'clock and the show start. He said he can't wait for 6 for the new show. Gary said he's in the car all day though so he could listen later. The caller said it's the first thing in the morning thing that he likes. He said it's the new material early.
Shuli said Benjy is the one who is really excited about it. Jon said he could show up at 6:58 tomorrow. Gary said he might but they're starting at 6. He said no one said that they're starting at 7 tomorrow. He said they haven't changed it yet.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has to say that they're being a little unrealistic. He said getting up early and going to work that early is what a lot of people do. He said it's not like they're going to flip burgers at 3 in the morning. He said the listeners want the show to start at 6. Gary asked how it changes for him. The caller said he looks forward to the start of the show at 6. He said the live shows are the best. He said they're never going to make a change that will make everyone happy. Jon said that everyone was upset when Howard had a lesser schedule. He said he thinks that people will adjust though. Jon said the show will start at 7 and people will get used to it. Jon said that you have to adapt and get used to it. He said if Howard is happier then they're all better off. Jon said he sympathizes with people who are upset. He said that the show will be just as great at 7 as it was at 6. He said it sounds like Benjy has already made the adjustment.
Gary said he used to do afternoons and they ended the show right on time. He said that he was able to go out and have a good time until 1 or 2 in the morning and he'd be fine the next day getting up at 10. Gary said it was a dream job. He said he misses those hours more than anything.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Al Roker was just on the show and he thinks that Gary and Al sound so much alike. Gary said he thinks that Al annunciates much better than he does. They gave that guy $500 cash and an Xbox One as a prize. The guy sounded very happy about that. He said they just made his day.
Jon had Shuli give them a rundown of the stories they had coming up today on Howard 100 News. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:25am.
Howard started the show talking about a big announcement he has to make about the Birthday Bash video. Fred played a drum roll and Howard said he knows a lot of people are anxious to see the video. He said starting Monday, June 23rd at 6am the video will be available for free. Howard said it will be on SiriusXM.com or HowardStern.com. He said you can see the whole thing and they have a whole page designed so you can see specific parts of the video if you want. Howard said Joel Gallen was the director that night and it's such a great thing to be able to make it free. He said SiriusXM didn't make a big deal out of charging for it. He said he's seen it 5 times already and it's chock full of great performances.
Howard said he suggests watching the whole thing and then go back and watch your favorite parts. He said that it will be up through the month of July. He said it's available to anyone, even people who don't subscribe. He said it's a very powerful experience because they pumped some money into the whole thing. Robin said it sounds like it's very interactive.
Howard said he read yesterday that Neil Young's Twitter account was hacked and filled with porn. He wondered why someone would target Neil Young. Robin said she can see Joel Osteen's account being hacked but not Neil Young.
Howard said they have the picture of Jon Hein in a wig up on the web site. Howard said he wasn't able to find it last night and he asked Jason where it was. Howard said Jason fixed it for him. He said he's sure that a lot of people were grateful about that. Howard said that Gary told him he jerked off 3 times to Jon Hein's picture. Howard said that some people were asking why Sally Struthers was on their web site. Another person said the hair goes well with his big boobs. Howard said someone asked for a sexy calendar with Jon Hein in it. Robin said she doesn't like the outfit. Howard said he needs a bikini.
Howard said someone said that Benjy thinks he may not go through the fingering of Benjy's ass. Howard told Benjy that he will go through with it. Howard said this isn't a joke. Benjy said Howard wasn't sure if he wanted to do it at first. Howard said he is going to make him go to a hotel and get fingered. He said he had his meetings on Tuesday and he's dead serious about it. Benjy said he has never backed out of any agreement there. Robin told him not to make this the first.
Howard said everyone loved Yucko's phone call volunteering himself. Howard said people pointed out that Yucko retired but that's the power of this bit. He said that Yucko has never been funnier and maybe he's coming out of retirement.
Howard said that Yucko could get carried away and stick his cock in there. Robin said she thinks it should be a guy who really gets into it. Howard said he thinks Gogo Harder will be into it. Howard said he will make out with Benjy too. He said he thinks that it will be hotter for Benjy to make out with the guy too. Howard said a lot of people are up for Yucko fingering him though.
Howard read some of the email he got about Yucko. He said they're very imaginative emails. Howard said that Benjy could be all smeared with red and white make up. Howard had one from someone who said Benjy will look like Heath Ledger as the Joker after making out with Yucko. Howard said that if they start the show at 7 then Benjy is going to have another hour to eat at night.
Howard said he is fascinated with that but more fascinated with Elisa dating Benjy. Howard said he sees all of the pictures they post and they're intimate pictures. Howard said Elisa is really hot and that chick is jerking off Benjy. Howard said that's the real shock.
Robin read more about the dolphin story and said that they ran out of funding and then a few weeks later the dolphin committed suicide by refusing to breathe. Howard said just imagine Elisa does that. Robin said this is why we shouldn't be getting involved in animal's lives. Howard said vagina is a driving force in this universe. He said even a dolphin kills itself over not getting jerked off.
Howard said that he's seen animal penis before and he saw a pig penis on a farm in Kansas once. Howard said he thinks he has more of a pig penis than a human penis. He said it's kind of alarming. Howard said people who grow up on farms see that kind of weird stuff.
Richard came in and said his dad caught his friend jerking a dog off. He said he thinks his dad was more mad about the spray going all over the carpet in the house. Howard said that house sounds like a nightmare. Howard said it seems like there is so much bizarre crap going on out there. Richard said you have to entertain yourself when you live on a farm. Howard asked if he's ever read a book. He said there is something wrong with the dude who did that. Richard said he has a family and he's fine. Howard said he bets he has issues.
Howard said he hopes there are laws against jerking off animals. Robin said the premise is always trying to make someone laugh. She said how about telling someone a joke instead.
Howard brought up the prank call Sal and Richard made to an online radio show and how they had no idea they were being pranked. Richard said Howard said that anyone can have a radio show now on the internet. He said he's right and it's great for them.
Howard said they're always looking for talent to bring in there and they'll go online to listen. He said it turns out everyone is bad. He said it's because they've never been on real radio. He said they all think it's great and funny and they really don't know that no one is listening. Howard said their delivery is horrible and everything is bad. Howard said everyone wants to be an overnight sensation on the internet. Howard said they end up sucking and he hates that they make you try to listen to their stuff just once.
Richard said he's into weird stuff like horror movies and beer. He said you can find anything you want. Howard said he likes instructional videos and he likes that kind of thing. He said he's talking about talk shows and stuff like that. He said even people who play music suck. Richard said there are people who play music and it's the worst quality. He said he's not sure why anyone would listen.
Howard played the prank call Sal and Richard made to the online radio show where they played the Ron Johnson belching clips and the radio people aren't able to hang up on him.
Howard said that is the future of radio. He said it'll be like ham radio or CB radio. He said all of the stations will go bankrupt and this is what people will do. Howard played more of the call and laughed as the Ron Johnson clips played.
Howard said he thinks they couldn't hang up because they had one of the hosts on the phone. Howard said that was a great call. Richard said he can't get enough of that belch. He said it's one of the funniest noises. He said they've inspired a lot of people with that sound.
Howard said he has some songs to play. He said he thinks he's played some of them. Richard said he has. It's like a Best Of kind of thing Howard played some of the songs that people put the belching clips into.
Howard said he hasn't stopped singing the Zeppelin song that Train did in there. Howard said he has to sit in a room and listen to it. Howard said he can play that one part of the song that's really cool to him. He said he may lock himself in the room and listen to it over and over. He said maybe he'll jerk off a dog or a dolphin while he does it. Howard said that poor dolphin had to get jerked off by a human. Richard said it's better than her jerking off an elephant. Howard asked why that's better. Richard said he's grasping at straws.
Howard asked what kind of penis a dolphin has. Benjy said he as looking and it looks like they have a penis with almost a hand on it so they can grab at things. Howard said he's going to have a dolphin finger him if he doesn't watch it. Richard said they make canes out of bull penis where he's from. Howard said he's seen that.
Benjy asked the guys if they would rather have an animal penis in them than a human penis. Howard said Benjy is fucked up. Howard said he likes when George Takei is in and he talks about how he only wrestles and jerks Brad off. Howard said his penis has to end up in his ass at some point.
Howard said Ronnie at one point is advocating blowing your grandfather. Howard played the clip and Ronnie was suggesting not buying a bottle of cologne that he'll spray in his ass. Howard said he's got an empty brain. Then Ronnie talks about going to your grandfather's house and saying you want to blow them. Howard asked if he's really into that. Howard said he doesn't get that.
Howard asked where Ronnie is. Howard said he hopes he's hiding his head in shame. Ronnie came in laughing and said he's cracking up in there. Ronnie said he never said it was the grand kids to come in and blow their grandfather. Howard asked how you blow your grandfather if there are no grand kids involved. Ronnie said it could be anybody. He said it could be the grandfather's girlfriend or something.
Ronnie said that he was cracking up out there. He said that shit is funny. Howard said he hangs out with Ronnie every day. Ronnie said they don't hang out. He said they just bullshit. Howard said that was a creepy tip for people.
Howard asked Ronnie if he would finger Benjy. Ronnie said no. Howard asked him about spraying cologne in his ass. Ronnie said he doesn't do it. He said people like that shit though. He said they want to hear that. Howard said they do not.
Howard played another sex tip from Ronnie and he goes into this creepy voice when he does them. Richard said he gets right up to the microphone when he does it. Ronnie said that Sal was so excited about the bits going on the air that he texted him about it last night. Howard did an impression of Ronnie doing his recording and talking about how he's right up at the microphone like it's his grandfather's cock.
Ronnie was talking about going to a strip club and buying your father some diamond dollars. Howard said he thought it was called funny money. Ronnie said it can be both.
Howard played another tip where Ronnie talks about giving a knob job. Ronnie says that this is for the women or the boys out there. He said they suck the head of the penis until it's red. Ronnie was cracking up at his own tips. Howard said he's the greatest comedian ever. Howard said he loves it. Ronnie was laughing so hard he was crying. Robin said she's never seen him laugh so hard. Howard said Ronnie thinks it's really funny. Ronnie was still laughing.
Howard said that's the creepiest thing he's ever heard. Richard said you should see him after they record it when he's listening back. Ronnie said they cut it up first. He said they cut a lot of stuff out. Howard said they must cut out the stuff that would get Ronnie arrested. Howard did his creepy Ronnie voice and had him talking about even creepier stuff.
Ronnie said there's nothing better than a gum job where they take out their teeth. Robin asked if he's had that. Ronnie said he didn't say he did. Howard asked where he found someone who can do that. Ronnie said it was a long time ago. Howard did his impression of Ronnie talking about that. Ronnie said it's the greatest blow job ever. He said it was years and years ago. He said he and his friend were about 19 years old and they found an ad for a massage. He said they called up and it was at some old lady's house. He said she was like 70 or 80. He said she had a massage table. Ronnie said the other guy went first. Howard said Ronnie doesn't care about sloppy seconds. Ronnie said he was 19 years old and you don't care at that age.
Ronnie said they got a real massage and she uses baby powder. He said she almost empties the bottle on your back. He said it feels good though. Ronnie said then she turns you over and rubs your chest. He said then she does the baby powder thing on your front. He said that she wasn't really attractive though. He said they were about to run out of the house. Then she starts rubbing near your balls. He said then she gets there and rubs your balls.
Howard said this poor old lady must be broke or something. Ronnie said it cost them like 40 bucks. Richard said they should get the Long Island Medium to talk to her to find out if she regrets doing what she did.
Howard asked what happened next. Ronnie said she rubs your balls and then she pours baby powder on your dick. He said she takes your dick... Howard asked what the house looked like. Ronnie said she had Life magazines all over the place. He said she had her daughter living downstairs too. He said she was telling them stories about that and other things.
Ronnie said she puts the powder on your cock and then she starts jerking you off. then she asks if you want to feel something good. Ronnie said she gets a cup and takes her teeth out and puts them in water. Howard said he would have run out the door. Ronnie said he was laughing. Howard said he's not sure what's grosser her teeth out or Ronnie's cock out. Howard said she must have had powder in her mouth. Ronnie said she didn't care. He said he blew a load pretty quick too. He said he shot his load right in there.
Howard said just imagine how many guys she was doing that to. Ronnie said that she put her teeth right back in after that. Ronnie asked how much it cost. Ronnie said it was like 40 bucks but it was an hour long massage. He said it was so cool because you're so relaxed at that point. Howard said he bets he was. Howard asked if she gave him the blow job at the end. Ronnie said she did. He said he could barely walk out. He said he felt like a rubber band walking out of there.
Robin was cracking up at that part of the story. Howard was cracking up too. He said that's the most disgusting thing ever. Howard said his life is fucking crazy. He said that chick could have bit his cock off. Howard said he's lucky he didn't get chopped up. He said he would have been out of there so quick.
Howard asked Ronnie if he ever went back. Ronnie said he never did. Howard said that's another day in the adventures of Ronnie. Howard asked if the friend stayed in there. Ronnie said he was in the car. He did the same when his buddy was in there getting his thing done. Howard said that's beyond fun. He said that's some crazy stuff.
Howard asked if he ever wishes that his girlfriend Stephanie stops brushing her teeth so she loses them. Ronnie said he never thinks like that. He said she's driving to work listening to this now. Richard said he's never seen Robin laugh so hard. Robin said that's her limit.
Howard played more of Ronnie's father's day tip where he talks about the grandfather thing. Ronnie was cracking up again. Robin was laughing her ass off too. Howard said he always thought those sex tips were the most vile thing ever.
Howard said he's known Ronnie all these years and he knows there are stories that he hasn't heard yet. Ronnie said there are more stories. Howard said if they could only interview Ronnie's powdered penis. He went to break after that.
Howard said Benjy hasn't stopped chewing. Howard asked if he stuck a pizza in front of him would he have to eat it. Benjy said he would if he wasn't on this diet. Howard said that he wants to put a camera on him and slide food in front of him so he can see what he's eating. Howard said he wants to see him get fingered.
Howard asked Benjy to weigh in. Benjy said he's not wearing his jacket so he's in different clothes. Howard said he didn't care. Howard asked what he started at and what date it was. Howard asked Jason what it was. Jason said he thinks it was 234 pounds. Benjy said it was like 243.6. Jason said he has to get down to 206.6 by July 21st.
Gary said there's something wrong with the scale. Benjy said it does that all the time. Gary said it's 8 pounds off right now. Howard said they have to calibrate it by zeroing it out. Benjy said that's not what zeroing it out means. Howard said it does too. Gary said Benjy is 233.6. Benjy said they just changed the scale. Howard said they did not. Howard said it was at zero so how could he change it. Benjy said he thinks when he zeroes it out Gary was standing on it. Benjy told them to zero it out again and he'll show them that it was wrong. Howard said Benjy can make any bit excruciatingly boring. Howard said he should just shut up. Gary said it's still 233.6.
Howard said they'll get another scale and try again. Gary came in with another scale immediately. Howard said anything to get him out of this bit. Howard asked why everything is so controversial with him. Benjy said he doesn't think the scale is right. Howard said if he lost 10 pounds he's on his way so he may not get fingered in the ass. They had to take another break a short time later. They never got him on the other scale.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said AGT is the best this season. He said that's off the cuff. Howard said it's off the top of his wig. Bobo said they had that 77 year old archer and Howard asked if he would make it to summer. He said that was really funny. Howard said that was off the cuff too.
Howard said he has to make a call in a few minutes for AGT. He said they can all listen in. He said he wants to get it out of the way now. Howard said it should last just a minute.
Bobo said Beth is in the Daily News today too. Howard said he knows. He said she got back home yesterday. Howard said Beth sat in the plane for 4 and a half hours on the runway. Howard said she wanted to get in early afternoon but she didn't get in until 8 at night. Howard said they had problems with the engine and they had guys coming on and getting off and then they asked if anyone wanted to grab another plane they could. Howard said Beth was sitting next to some super model. He said her name might be Jamie King. He said she had a baby and a nanny with her. She tried to get on another plane but she missed it and had to get back on this plane. Howard said air travel is so stressful now. Howard said they don't have any back ups. Howard said it's gotten so bad. Robin said it's like riding on a bus. Robin said it's like being on a Greyhound. She said that's not that bad but she'd rather not be on one.
Howard said Beth was hanging out with Jimmy and Molly out in L.A. Howard said Molly is about to give birth. He said they had a baby shower or something for her. Howard said Beth was out doing some TV show with Maria Menounos too.
Bobo said he reached out to Beth about doing the show she's doing. He said they ''didn't want no part of it.'' Howard asked where he grew up talking like that. He had already hung up on Bobo though. He said there were like 50 things wrong with that sentence. Howard said he knows his own grammar is bad but that's really bad.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who was in the middle of talking to someone about a sweatshirt. Tommy said it cooled off last night and he was talking to his wife. Tommy forgot what he was going to ask. Howard said that's great. Tommy asked if he thinks that Tori Spelling divorcing is real. Howard said he thinks so. He said he watches the show once in a while but not all the time. Robin said she does too. Howard said he thinks she and her husband are whacked out of their skulls. Tommy said this guy proved that a cheater is a cheater. Howard said this is a rambling, no nonsense show. He said this conversation is mind numbing.
Howard took a call from GonzoShitCock who said ever since he gave Eric the Actor his phone number he's been getting a lot of prank calls. He said he's suspecting that it's Eric. Howard said just imagine that Eric is making prank calls to Gonzo. He said they must not be that creative. Gonzo said they just hang up or once a guy said his name was Baxter the Power bottom. Howard said that's pretty creative for Eric. Howard said that he has to record the prank calls.
Howard said Eric has been calling their voice mail complaining that some listener put his address on the internet and people are showing up at his house. Howard said he has nothing to do with it. Howard played a voice mail and Eric said people are showing up at his house for the Sybian he has for sale and he doesn't have one for sale. He said these fuckers need to be fucking stopped. He said that they need to be put in jail.
Howard said that's the Eric he likes. He's all fired up. Robin said he should call Craigslist and complain to them. Gonzo said he's worried that he's going to have the power bottom guy show up at his door. Howard asked Gonzo if he's going to change his number. Gonzo said he kind of likes the calls. Howard let him go a short time later.
Wolfie asked what he has to do to put this behind him. Howard said that Gary and Sal get jingles occasionally. He played one about Sal.
Howard said he's got some about Wolfie but he won't play them. Howard said that Daniel Mendelson sent in one about Evan the Engineer just to fuck with Wolfie. Howard played that one and said that jingles are never complimentary. He said they're a goof. Howard said Wolfie wanted a pleasant one. Wolfie asked if he really thinks that. Howard said he does. He played a jingle about Wolfie wanting a jingle and not really deserving one. Howard said that was Eli Braden. Howard played another one from Little Mikey about how Wolfie shouldn't get a song. Howard played another one that was about Wolfie chasing jingles.
Howard asked Gary if he has to make the America's Got Talent call at exactly 7:45. Gary said he should do it within a few minutes of then. He said maybe they should break and get back to it at 8. Howard said he has to think this through. Wolfie said he has to think if he can do it at 8. Howard asked what he has to do. Wolfie said he has to work.
Wolfie said he put together some questions about Game of Thrones for Howard. Howard watches the show but he may not know the answers. Wolfie asked Howard a few questions and Howard got a couple. He didn't know the name of the continent that most of the show takes place on. Robin knew it. Wolfie asked Howard one about who the people are who gave the Khaleesi her name. Howard said it was something like Dothra. It was Dothraki. Howard said that she's not even that hot anymore. Howard said she's obviously wearing a wig and she won't get naked anymore. Howard said she hasn't been naked at all this season. Howard said all he sees are guy's asses.
Wolfie asked one more question about Game of Thrones. Howard had no idea who the characters were that he was asking about. Howard didn't know the answer to the question.
Howard said he's glad he failed that quiz. He said he used to study comic books but he doesn't do that with this stuff. He said he shouldn't know that stuff. Howard said he watches it and it's done. He doesn't study it.
Howard said it's great when Wolfie goes to comic-con and finds a 300 pound Khaleesi. Robin said that's like the girl who shot up the cops who was dressed like Harley Quinn. She looked nothing like Harley Quinn. Howard said she was a big, fat blob of a Harley Quinn. Wolfie said he'll send him pictures of the Khaleesi next time he goes. He said none of them are hot.
Howard said Wolfie has to leave and he has to go do this AGT thing. Howard said he's not sure when he'll play the clips. Howard asked what Wolfie does for a living. Wolfie said he doesn't want to talk about it. He said it's kind of important stuff. Howard said that's cool. He said he probably works at a drive thru restaurant.
Howard said he was reading about this breakfast that Taco Bell has. He said it's like 650 calories. He said it sounds horrible.
Howard said Wolfie went to something called the Big Apple Pony-Con. Wolfie said they have off shoots of Brony-Con and that's what this is. Howard said it sounds like it's a way for gay dudes to get together. Wolfie said they get offended by that. Howard said that he can't figure out what's going on there. He said that it's the most sickening thing next to giving your grandfather a blow job on father's day.
Howard said outside of Pony Con they must be embarrassed by being in to My Little Pony. He said shame is gone from this country.
Wolfie said this took place in Jersey City and they were walking around in pink pony outfits in a really tough area. Howard had a clip of one of the guys in Jersey City talking to Wolfie. The guy said he would rip that suit off and ask the guy what the fuck? Howard said that's a tough neighborhood. Howard said people outside are getting freaked out by the whole thing. Howard played another street interview and the guy said he doesn't see any kids there. He said they're all grown ups. The guy said they're gay and that's a very odd thing to do.
Howard said if you're gay then you're into guys or girls are into girls. He said this is like a new category. He said it's crazy.
Howard played an interview Wolfie did with a guy at the Pony-Con. The guy was talking about how they're just not understood like the hippies weren't understood in the 60s.
Another Pony-Con attendee was talking about how they can be embarrassed at times doing this stuff. He said he was 31 years old.
Howard said he has to go do this other thing so he may not be able to play more. Wolfie said there are some good ones. Howard said he may have to watch this show to see who they're talking about. Howard had one guy talking about one of the characters and said he has to see who they're talking about. Howard said his kids had My Little Pony toys and they watched the show. Howard said it never occurred to him to watch it.
Howard played another clip where Wolfie asked a guy if he was out of the closet with this. The guy said he's kind of in and out. He said there are some people who know. He said his father can fly off the handle so he's afraid to come out with that to him. Wolfie said he got that guy's information and he was thinking they could do a Maury Povich kind of thing with him. He said they could do the reveal on the air. Howard said he would watch that. Howard said he may do that. Howard said they could tell the dad he'll win a prize and break the news to him there.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did and the guy was talking about how he doesn't know which one he would pick if he had to pick just one to marry. Howard said he's not sure this guy is interested in a wife. Howard said he sounds out there. Howard said just imagine you have a kid and he ends up being into My Little Pony. Robin said that if you have more than one kid and the other kids are okay then maybe it's not your fault.
Howard said if this guy was his son he'd question what went wrong. Howard said they're fucking crazy. Howard said he really has to go now. Wolfie said he wanted to get in a plug for his Twitter. He said it's @ThisIsWolfie. He said that if you know of any weird conventions then let him know where they are. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said they were working long days doing the AGT tapings. Howard said one of the producers asked him to go to a comedy club at 9 at night to tell a comedian he was going straight through. Howard said he told the guy he wasn't going to do it. Howard said he asked if they were out of their fucking mind. Howard said he had to start at 7 the next morning and he wasn't going to tell a comedian he was going through. Howard said he told them to have Mel B do it instead. Howard said she was out at some comedy club doing it. Howard said he laughed and said that they're giving her his scraps.
Howard said he ducked and dodged the bullet. Howard said he's fine doing this on the phone. Howard said he thinks this guy was really good but he's not sure everyone else thought he was. Howard said he had notes about it and it says they all liked this guy. Howard said he wasn't able to go to judgment week so he's not sure what's going on. Howard said they told him they're taping something but he has no idea he's calling. Howard said this is all so he didn't have to go to a comedy club in Queens.
Howard said this guy cam barely speak English at all. He said this guy does Rolla Bolla. He said he gets up on tons of shit and stands on it. He said he does that kind of thing and he's really good at it. Howard said he has a whole story that goes along with it.
Howard said Howie will fly anywhere as long as he has a camera on him. He said he doesn't care what they ask him to do. Howard said Howie is there as long as that camera is there. Howard said Heidi will do just about anything too. Howard said they should use this whole segment on AGT. He said they could make a special about it.
Howard said that Heidi goes home and gets the Daily Mail to photograph her with her kids so people think she's spending time with them. Howard said Howie already taped his segment where he tells people they're going through. Howard said they could ask Howie to jerk off a dolphin and he'd do it as long as the camera is there. Howard said they could ask him to go to North Korea in a dog costume and he'd go. Howard said Howie will do everything he doesn't want to do. He said that's why he loves the guy. Howard made up all kinds of things that Howie will do for them.
Howard asked if they can make the call now. Gary was ready to go. He had the number and he gave Howard the paper with his name on it. Howard said this is a beautiful moment actually. Howard got the guy on the phone and his name is Jonathan. Howard asked if he knew who was on the phone with him.
Howard told Jonathan that he is the president of Argentina. Jonathan said that is a woman. Howard said he had a sex change. Howard broke the news to Jonathan that it was the greatest judge on America's Got Talent. He said it must be Howard.
Howard said that he's calling Jonathan because they asked the judges to speak to the contestants. Howard said they have a lot of decisions to make. He said he thought he did very well in his audition. He said they could only put through 45 contestants in the next round. Howard said he thought he did very, very well but some people don't have a million dollar act. Howard asked if he understands. Jonathan said he does. Howard said he thought he was terrific. Howard said unfortunately it's impossible to put all of them through. Jonathan said he understands. Howard said he thought Jonathan was terrific. Howard said he's very original. Howard asked if he understands. Jonathan said he does. Howard said he knows it was his hope and dream to go through to the next round. Jonathan said he is grateful to participate.
Howard said he has to tell him his fate. Howard said they made some decisions and they can only put 45 acts through. Howard said it's almost impossible to be one of them. Howard said that he is one of the 45. Jonathan laughed and thanked him. Howard said he likes that, right? Jonathan said he loves it. Howard asked what the greatest country is. Jonathan said it's America. He said he has the chance to win a million dollars. Howard said that was the good news. He said he has bad news too. Howard said he's being deported back to Argentina. Jonathan laughed. He said he had a bad sensation from his feet to his head.
Howard asked if he is crying right now. Jonathan said he is not. Howard said if he does it's guaranteed to get on TV. Howard asked him to cry. Jonathan said he can't cry. Howard told someone to punch him and make him cry.
Howard asked him to tell them what this means to him and his family. Jonathan said it means a great opportunity for him. He said he's been out of the business for some years. He said this gives him the chance to get back into it.
Jonathan let Howard know that his aunt has Parkinson's disease so Howard said that's good for the segment. Howard asked him to talk about that. Jonathan told Howard that he didn't think he'd be there for the show because he had to go to Argentina to see her. Howard asked him to cry now. Jonathan faked one for about a second. Howard said he's a terrible actor.
Howard asked Jonathan to say he was in the military and talk about his battle with cancer. He told him to say he had a tumor the size of a grapefruit and that he had to have his ovaries removed. Howard said he will never be able to have a baby. Howard told Jonathan that he has to come up with some story that will make people sad.
Howard said he doesn't care that he has limited English and that he was an orphan. Jonathan said he wasn't. Howard said he's trying to coach him. He asked if he was sold to the circus as a child. Jonathan laughed.
Howard said he saw this guy and he knew he deserved to go through. He said he was terrific. Howard said it was unanimous. He said he hopes he kicks butt when he gets to Radio City Music Hall. Jonathan thanked him for the opportunity.
Howard wished Jonathan luck and let him go a short time later. Howard said when you see this on AGT it'll last about 3 seconds. He said that's how it always goes. He said he tapes for 17 hours and then you see him for 2 seconds.
Howard said that guy did not know how to take direction. He said he wanted him to say he served in Desert Storm. Howard asked the camera crew if they were really leaving. He asked if they wanted to tape the rest of the show. They were out of there. Howard told them to go out and record Ronnie's gumming blow job story.
Robin said she has seen Howard do these kinds of things for years. She said he did the bait and switch on him. Howard said he knew why they were calling. Howard said he's actually a really nice guy.
Howard said that when he first started on AGT they would say they had a Rolla Bolla act coming out and he had no idea what that meant. He said he had to pretend he knew. Howard said he knows it all now that he's in his third year.
Howard said he told Jonathan that he had to come up with a story. Robin said she thinks his story is fine. Howard said the guy is a sweetheart. He said you end up getting attached to these people.
Robin said she hopes that Jonathan doesn't get upset that he didn't go visit him. Howard said he sounded like he was having fun. Robin said he was the one who was inconvenienced getting up early. Howard said you should see what they do to those contestants. Howard said it's like they're in Gitmo.
Howard said he's so sick of these mass shootings. Howard said the president was talking about how it's unacceptable. Howard said that he's the president and he has to make it a top priority to get gun laws passed. Howard said that he's saying that they can't do anything until people demand it. Howard said he's supposed to be a leader so lead.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his brother is a Brony. Howard asked how he knows. The guy, Ken, said his brother lives with his mom and he saw him in a shirt with a big pony on it. He said his brother is 32. He said he has jobs here and there. Ken said he's known about it for the past couple of years. He said he's into comic books himself but he's not into it like some are. He said he's never been to a Comic-Con.
Howard told Ken to ask him about it and maybe he'll open up about it. Howard said they need to know what level it goes to. Ken said they talk all the time but they are polar opposites. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that this season of AGT is awesome. He said his wife used to hate the show but now she loves it. He said she started binge watching the show. Howard said he thinks this season is really good.
The caller said it was a little disturbing when Howard got up to dance and took his jacket off. He said his arms and armpits look kind of vaginal like with the hair coming out. Howard said it may have been a mistake taking it off. He said he forgets what he looks like sometimes. He said that he watches the show and he gets upset when he sees it. Howard said he'll think he's kind of handsome and then he'll see a picture of himself and he's startled. Howard said he forgets what he looks like.
Howard said he asked Ralph if it was a mistake taking the jacket off and Ralph said it wasn't something he would have done. Howard said his wife thought his arms looks pretty ripped. Howard said he's just not super big. Robin said he has hair under his arms. Howard said they call that ''pussy pits.'' The caller said either way the show is awesome this season.
Marianne said she hated the burper guy at first but now she loves it. She said that she has trouble with it because her fiancee hears burping and laughing in the morning. She said that she was crying when she heard one of the song parodies that they played.
Howard played some of the song parodies for Marianne. She said they bring such joy to her life now. Marianne said that Howard is in her column today and she wrote about the show time change. Howard said he had some discussion about that but he's just testing the waters. Howard said it might be something real but they need a couple of weeks to mull over the complications. Howard said that they're going to stick with the time for now.
Howard said that the picture they put in the paper of Beth is great today. Marianne said that she was in a parking lot and just happened to turn around. She said that's what she looks like walking to a car. Howard said she always looks good and then he sees himself in a mirror.
Marianne said that Beth is so good with the cats too. Howard said that they took in a cat that's a year old. He said they named him Yoda. Howard said the doctors say that he has a bad heart. Howard said they were going to adopt him out but they kept him because he could die at any time. Howard said if he was a human being he would be in the hospital waiting for a heart transplant. Howard said he's the sweetest cat ever. Howard said they're fostering some kittens and they're getting ready to adopt them out. He said Yoda sleeps with them and wraps his body around them. Howard said he's going to be heartbroken when they leave. Howard said they have a shot of Yoda wrapping his arm around a kitten and it's the sweetest most beautiful thing you'll ever see. Howard told the guys to put that picture on HowardStern.com
Marianne said that she is going to put the auction in her column this week sometime. She said that she loves the show so much and they bring such joy to her. Howard gave her a Ron Johnson belch before letting her go.
Howard said that Benjy picked a winner with Marianne. He said he's not sure why he's at war with her. Howard said she's working for the biggest paper in the city and then he breaks up with her. Howard said he isn't a star fucker. He said he has to say that.
Benjy asked if anyone has ever treated Beth like shit. Howard said if they do then the people are out of his life. Howard asked if Marianne treated Beth like shit. Robin said she may have done that to Elisa. Howard said he thought it was all about Beth.
Benjy said he heard they have a kitten named Benji. Howard said they do. He said they are fostering kittens and they were naming them. He said they decided to name them after the guys on the show. Howard said they named one Fred because that's a great cat name. Howard said they have a Benji too. Benjy asked if they looked at them to figure out which one was which. Howard said Beth didn't like the other names for the cats so they named one Howie and one Howard. He said they also used someone else but he can't remember. Howard said Beth didn't think anyone would like Gary as a name for a cat.
Benjy said he figured that this would help with their relationship. He said that it would transfer to him if he had a good relationship with the kitten. Howard said he feels tons of affection for the cat and none for Benjy. He said that one nice thing is that the kitten isn't all blotchy. They went to break a short time later.
Gary told Howard that Beth is on the phone. Howard asked what's up. Gary said she wanted to talk to him. Beth was on the phone and said she's going to have litters of kittens all summer long. She said that people can find out how to adopt by emailing her at BethSternFosters@gmail.com. She said they also have that auction going that will benefit Bianca's Furry Friends. She also said that she loves Howard. Howard said they had a nice shot of her in the paper today. Beth said she saw it. Howard said they shot her in a parking lot. Beth said it was after she worked with Mario Lopez. Howard said Marianne just told them about how they got the shot. Beth said she was all dolled up from doing the show. Howard said that she's going to get a treat tonight.
Beth got in another plug for the adoption email and said that this is the season for kittens so this is the time to adopt. Howard said she does great with the fostering. Robin said that helps the kittens get a lot of human contact. Howard said he enjoys hanging out with the cats. He said he plays with them for like an hour and he loves it. Robin said that's good for them. That way they get used to humans. Howard said he didn't jerk any of them off.
Howard said this is a homeless quiz. He was about to play when Gary told him that people in Canada can't play. Hanzi asked if he was kidding him. Howard asked if he was serious. Howard said he thought he was doing something nice. Howard said the Illuminati rules. Gary said you have to be from the US and 21 years old or older. Hanzi said he could get him a movie part. Howard said he can't do that. Howard said he thought he was doing something nice.
Hanzi said that he thinks Robin would choose him even if Riley Martin wasn't in the competition they had yesterday. Howard said he has to let him go now. Hanzi didn't sound happy. Howard said he had no idea that they can't let Canadian guys play. Howard asked why that is. Gary said he doesn't understand it. Howard said he wants Gary to send Hanzi 500 bucks. He said he'll take it out of his own pocket. Howard said he's not sure why he's supposed to know all of this. Howard said maybe he'll have Hanzi finger Benjy. He said Canadians can participate in that.
Howard got another caller on the line. He had Lisa on the line. Howard played a sample question where the homeless person thought Batman's real name was Bruce Willis.
Howard played the question that Lisa was going to win or lose on. They asked the guy what fornicate means. Lisa said that she thinks he will not know the answer. Howard said he's not sure about that. Howard played the homeless answer and the guy said it has something to do with sex. Howard said he was going to give it to Lisa. Robin said she said that she didn't think they would know. Howard said he has to let her go then. Howard hung up on Lisa. Howard said she was a winning loser who hung right up.
Howard said he just wanted to get rid of the money. Now he has to go to another caller. Howard picked up on another person, Mike, who wasn't in Canada. Howard said a good contest would be to put the $500 in Benjy's ass and they had to go in and fish it out.
Mike told Howard he wanted to thank him for turning him onto House of Cards. He said he's just a couple episodes in but he loves it. Howard said it's really good. Howard said he's not sure how anyone drops Robin Wright. He said she's really classy and sexy. Howard said Sean Penn got tired of that. Howard said maybe that was enough for him.
Howard played the question ''Who wrote Hamlet?'' Howard asked if Mike thinks he'll know. Mike said no way. The homeless guy said ''Spike Lee'' so Mike won the 500 bucks.
Howard told Gary to send Hanzi some money. Gary said he'll take care of it and Howard shouldn't take it out of his own wallet. Howard said it's really fucked up to tell someone they're playing a game and then say they can't play because they're from Canada. Howard said he's going to make sure he doesn't go crazy from that. Howard thanked Gary for taking care of that.
Howard played a Baba Booey song parody and some various wrong pronunciations of his last name. Howard said that song was from Matt Travino. Howard played another song parody about Gary and said that was another good one. He said that was Mike Solomon checking in.
Howard said that they have a photo of David Arquette's baby, Charlie West, up on HowardStern.com. Howard said it's exciting that he gave them the photo. Howard said they have the exclusive. Howard said they even have a watermark on it so no one can steal it. Howard said Charlie is going to grow up some day and find out he was sin a group of pictures with the Wack Pack and Jon Hein in a wig.
Robin read a story about Cardinal O'Connor being Jewish. Howard said that's going to piss off a lot of people. Howard said he was the top Christian there in New York. Robin said that his sister told the NY Times that their mother was Jewish and converted to Catholicism. Howard said they should dig him up and put a yarmulke on him. Howard said they must not have been able to see his horns under that giant cap he wore.
Howard said he was going to the Radio Electronics Institute and this one guy down there was under the impression that Jews had horns. Howard said he said to the guy that he hadn't seen any Jews so he didn't know. He said he didn't want to tell those guys anything.
Robin read a story about a girl who was on the phone with her mother while she was hiking and talking about how slippery it was. Robin said the mother heard a scream and the girl ended up falling 30 feet. Robin said that the daughter told the mother that she was still alive after a while. Robin said she was hysterical crying saying she didn't want to die. Robin said the father and mother worked to get her employer to go out and find her. Robin said she only ended up having scratches on her.
Robin asked Howard if you visit your child and go to court every day after a he lit their house on fire after tying shut the parent's door. Howard said he thinks he loves his kids unconditionally but if they did that to him then he's not sure what he'd do. Howard said he wouldn't visit that kid in jail. Howard said maybe he would but he'd laugh at him. Robin said the parents were giving the child a hard time about his inappropriate Facebook posts and the kid allegedly got upset and lit the house on fire. Robin said the kid apologized and said he loves them dearly.
Howard played some more of Wolfie's Pony-Con interviews. Wolfie was talking to a guy about how he beat off to My Little Pony once but he felt bad so he stopped after that. Howard said there's a hint of normalcy there.
Robin read about how Sandra Bullock had a guy sneak into her house while she was home. Howard said the only comment he has on this is that she is a very wealthy woman. He said she had a 10 percent stake in Gravity and she got $70 million from that alone. Howard said lets say she cleared 35 million on that. Howard asked what it would cost her to have a police officer full time on her property. Howard said she could do that. Robin said maybe you don't feel you need that. Howard asked if she needs more of a clue. Howard said it's a no brainer to do that. Howard said she could have an alarm in her home. Robin said she did have an alarm. Howard said she should have a professional body guard living in her home who will blow this fucker's head off. Robin said Presidents get shot and they have the best security out there. Howard said no one is really 100 percent safe. Howard said no president is getting shot in their house. He said they're pretty safe unless someone drops a bomb on it. Howard said Sandra Bullock should have had someone there to blow that fucker's head off.
Robin said they say the man spent several hours in the house. Robin said that 911 wasn't called until 6:30am. Robin said that the cops found this 39 year old man on the property. Robin said he was arrested and charged with having a machine gun but not on him at the time. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Howard asked if there was ever a stalker who got married to the person they chased. Benjy said there was. He said it was the one they made the movie about. Howard said they were together before the stalking though. Howard said it wasn't really a case of stalking. Howard said that he will tell Elisa never to leave Benjy though. He said that stalker won her over.
Robin read a story about Tracy Morgan's condition and how they're saying this will take a long time to recover from. Robin said he is in critical but stable condition right now. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how blood donors are very important in cases like this. Howard said Tracy was great at the Birthday Bash. Howard asked Jason to tweet out the picture of him with Tracy. He said it's just nice to do. He said he loves the guy and he hopes he's okay. Robin said the guy accused of causing the accident is being targeted because Tracy is a star. He claims that he's most likely fucked for having an accident with the wrong car that night. Howard said he's fucked because a guy died that night. Howard said the classy thing to do would be to stay quiet. Howard said he doesn't think he's been demonized for it at all. Robin said no one is calling for his blood. Robin said they're waiting for the investigation.
Howard wonders what Tracy's mom does when this happens. Benjy said he read that she was turned away at first but she got in eventually. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a school shooting in Oregon and how one child was shot and the shooter killed himself. Robin had a clip of an emergency call made to 911 during the shooting. Robin read about what went on there and how there have been 74 school shootings since the Newtown shootings in 2012. Robin said the victim was 14 years old. Robin said the shooter has been identified but they are not ready to release that information yet.
Robin read about the 12 year old girls who were involved in a stabbing. Robin said they're due in court today. Robin said they have ordered media outlets not to show the faces of the children. Robin said that they allegedly stabbed a friend 19 times to sacrifice her to a fictional character.
Robin read a story about how Senator Ted Cruz is now a citizen of the United States only. He had dual citizenship in Canada and the U.S. Robin asked if he can be President now. Howard said he could because he was the child of American citizens. Howard said that you can be born overseas and still be President. Robin said she didn't think that was the case. Howard said he won't be President because he's a bit of an asshole. Howard said he actually doesn't know much about the guy. Howard said John McCain wasn't born in this country. Fred said McCain was born in Panama City, Panama. Robin said she thought that it had to be on a military base or something like that. She said she has to look it up. Howard said that's the way it is.
Robin read about how Dave Brat beat out Eric Cantor in the primary election. Robin said this is the first time that has happened in a primary. Howard said no one votes anymore. He said it's disgraceful. Howard said if you're part of a party you should get out and vote or look what happens. Howard said he thinks that Rush Limbaugh and Laura Ingram were really behind that guy.
Robin read about how the White House is refusing to give some details about the Bowe Bergdahl trade and release. Robin had some audio of a White House rep talking about why it could be dangerous to release some details. Robin said they're going to be investigating and people will be testifying in front of Congress over this whole thing.
Robin had Howard play an audio clip. It was a song by Rolf Harris. Robin said that he was a star in the UK and he has been prosecuted on child sex abuse charges. Robin said he was descried as a veteran entertainer who treated young women and girls as objects to be mauled and molested. Robin said that he was pretty big in Great Britain. Robin said he was on TV and did a lot of things. Robin said that his accusers described some things that he did and Harris has denied the allegations. He's now 84 years old. Howard said he wants to get all of these guys who did goofy songs like Rolf did and have a convention. Howard had a bunch of bad one hit wonders that he played.
Robin read about the 20th anniversary of the trial of the century. Robin said that it's the anniversary of the OJ Simpson trial. Howard said that he's glad the guy is locked up for trying to steal back his own memorabilia. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin asked Howard if he's put Ice, Ice Baby in the convention for the one hit wonders. Howard said he would. He said he heard that rap doesn't sell anymore and it might be dead. Robin said that's weird because every hit song has a rapper in it. Howard said Eminem won't even show up on his own channel. He said he wonders what Sirius pays him to not show up. Howard said they can't pay him that much. He said it must be a vanity thing. Howard wondered if he can do that next time. He said they can have a Howard channel and do whatever they want. Howard said they can just send the checks to their post office boxes. Howard said that's what his dream is.
Howard said Rap is dead and he blames Jon Leiberman for killing it. Howard said they are going to have a rap battle there soon. He said they found someone to go up against Jon. Howard said he's going to leave it at that for now.
Robin asked if he's ever seen anything give birth in the wild. Howard said he has seen that in Roosevelt. Robin said here are people who want to go out into the wild and give birth. Howard said you'd think they'd want to be near a hospital. Robin said that Lifetime has a new series where women give birth in the wild. Howard said that sounds crazy. He said it's like people who don't want to take antibiotics. Robin said that these are women who want to have a different experience after having a bad experience in a hospital. Howard said people used to die all the time giving birth outside a hospital.
Robin read a story about a symposium coming to New York for men with money and want to deal with women who only want them for their money. Howard said he has a friend who is a billionaire and he can't find a girl. He said he asked him what the point of being a billionaire is if you can't get a girl. Robin read about what this symposium is all about and how they have women there to meet these rich guys.
Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:05am.
Jon said Wolfie may have a jingle after all. He said one of them may have stuck. He said Wolfie still insists he wasn't pushing for one though. Jon also mentioned the cat names that Beth gave some kittens which were staff member names. Jon also felt bad for Hanzi and how he wasn't able to play the game today.
Jon said he wanted to start off with the conversation with Wolfie. He said he pushed for this jingle thing and it didn't happen but then maybe he got annoying about it and it got played. He said he still thinks that they shouldn't play it. Jon said you don't want to give him what he asks for. Gary said he thinks the jingle is funny and it makes him laugh. He said he thinks they have a funny jingle at the end of the day. Jon said he disagrees and he doesn't think that they should give him one because he asked for it. He said he hates rewarding asking for one. He said that really bothers him.
Jon said Benjy and Ronnie just came in. He said he thinks Ronnie did great with the sex tips. He said they're very creepy but then he breaks out the story about the no teeth blow job. Jon said he wasn't sure that Ronnie was going to say he was the guy. Gary asked if he had any repercussions for telling the story or the tips he gave. Ronnie said no. He said that Stephanie wasn't even born when the BJ thing went on. Gary said he heard Ronnie on the phone with Stephanie telling her that she wasn't even born yet.
Ronnie said his sex tips are just goofy. He said that they're just funny things. Jon asked if he wishes that any of these were given to him for Father's day. Ronnie said not really. He said he can just walk into a strip club and not need Diamond Dollars. He said the girls love him and just dance for him.
Ronnie said that Robin was laughing so hard she wasn't even able to laugh. Gary said it's the best when she has to grab a tissue to wipe the tears away. He said that's what she did this morning.
Gary said that he thought that what Ronnie had done to him was basically urban legend. Benjy said he heard from a waitress once that it was a really sexy thing. Jon asked why he never went back. Ronnie said that you experience it just once and that's all you need. He said you don't need to go back.
Ronnie said the ad was for a massage thing and it was a personal thing. He said she was letting people know that it was a personal thing. Jon asked if he felt like getting out of there at any point. Ronnie said that the apartment was tiny and you go in and it's like walking into an attic. He said the first thing you see are newspapers wrapped up in rope. He said there were piles of Life magazine and piles of paper around. He said it freaks you out but you don't leave. Gary said he got a blow job from a hoarder.
Ronnie said they didn't go back but they did tell people about it. Benjy asked if the woman put her teeth back in. Ronnie said she did. He said that he left out the part where she cleaned them up. He said she used things like baby wipes to clean them up. He said he was still full of powder when he got dressed though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if she put that dick in her mouth with the powder on it. Ronnie said she did. He said she put that powder all over his body. He said by the time she got there some of the powder came off. He said she just went at it.
Ronnie said he was so relaxed by the time she did it he just exploded. He said he felt like a rubber band when he was finished. Gary asked if he would have been upset if she hadn't blown him. Ronnie said no. He said he was just interested in seeing who was giving massages. He said she wasn't a bad looking woman. He said she was in her 60s and he was 19. He said that it was great. Ronnie said they were looking for a happy ending and he figured it was coming when the powder started. He said that the got more than he expected when she took her teeth out.
Jon said that this has to be Sal's fantasy. Ronnie said he thinks that Sal hasn't had this teeth thing. He said that doesn't happen often.
Jon said the gums were the icing on the cake. Ronnie said the whole thing was great. He said he had to call her first and make the appointment. He said she told him that it was a therapeutic massage and all of that. He said he questioned her about it and if it was private. He said it was and he just went over there. He said it wasn't far away. They had to go to break a short time later.
Benjy said he said it at the first weigh in that he didn't like that scale. He said if he loses more than he was supposed to lose and the studio scale says he's wrong then he won't do it. Gary said he zeroed out the scale today because it was already up to 8 pounds. Gary said that he doesn't know what else to do. He said that they should just see where this goes.
Jon said that Benjy is saying that if he shows he lost the weight on other scales and this one doesn't show the right weight then he's not going to do it.
Gary said he, Jason and Will all weighed themselves on the scale and they said it was right. Gary said he weighed himself this morning at home and he was the same there.
Ronnie asked why they can't just bring in a digital scale and use that one every time. Gary said that's not the one they started with. Benjy said he doesn't anticipate a problem at the end but they changed it by more than a couple of pounds today. Gary said Benjy is a liar and he's wrong. Gary said he finds this conversation boring to the audience. Benjy said he says that every time he can't argue something.
Benjy said his ass is on the line, literally, and he has to make sure it's right. Gary said that Benjy put himself in that position. He said Benjy offered to get raped at first. Jon said if he only loses 35 pounds then this is going to come up. Benjy said he said the first time they weighed him in that the studio scale isn't accurate. He said it fluctuates.
Gary said this isn't their decision to make. He said it's Howard's decision. He said he has to hash it out with Howard. Benjy kept talking.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he called in about the jingle thing. He said he thinks that you lose the specialty of it when you give everyone one. He said he agrees with Jon about that whole thing. Jon said that the rule of a jingle is that you don't ask for one. He said you either get it or you don't. Jon said they're rewarding someone for asking for one. Gary said he thinks that if it's funny they'll play it. It's not about how many they give out.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks he should have a jingle. Ronnie said they should come naturally. He said you don't ask for one. Gary asked Ronnie if he has one. Ronnie said he doesn't think so. He said he has a lot of songs about him but they're not a jingle that they play every time he walks in the door.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about the Brony guys. He said that his son is in jail for trying to cut his throat. He said that 3 months later he tried to kill his mom and step-dad. The guy said that in hindsight he would say that he's a hell of a lot more of a man than a Brony is. He said that's just an afterthought. Gary asked if he visits his son. The guy said he doesn't because he's scared of him now. He said the son's mother went to court and stood up for him in court. He said that she claimed that it was not him. The caller said that the step father used to be their neighbor. He said that guy and his wife ran off together. He said there's no telling what they told the son. He said the mother did nothing but protect the kid. He said he doesn't understand the whole thing as far as that goes. The caller said if he hadn't tried to stab him he would have assumed that he was being abused all those years.
Jon said that the mother obviously had that unconditional love for her son. He said to compare that to a Brony, he's not sure how you draw that line.
Gary said if you have a 30 year old living at home and he's a Brony and every day he's watching the show, what do you do? Jon said maybe sing along. Gary said if his son was doing that it would depend on what he's doing the rest of his day. He said he might ask him to spend less time with the pony and more time looking for a job.
Jon asked Ronnie how he'd react. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Gary said that the one guy was saying that this will be acceptable 30 years down the road. Benjy said he thinks it should be. He said that caller was very serious about that whole thing. Jon said he was saying that it's more manly to be that way than to be a Brony.
Gary said if your son is gay he's in a relationship with another human. He said if you're a Brony you're into a cartoon. He said that's sort of odd behavior. Benjy said he doesn't think it's right that people are like this because that's the way people treated homosexuality. Gary said there's a big difference between the two. Jon had to cut them off there to take a break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he knew a woman who drove for the same company he works at. He said they went out drinking together and she told him that she has bad teeth so she has dentures. He said long story short she gave him head and it was the best ever. He said that then they had sex and they kissed. He said his tongue went in there and went by the gums. He said his cock went down because it turned him off so much. He said the kiss was real slimy feeling so it wasn't good. He said every time he thinks about it he wants to throw up.
Ronnie said it must have been a great knob job. The guy said it was. He said he hasn't been that hard before. The guy said he told her he must have Whisky dick when he got soft.
The caller asked Gary why he doesn't hear him on the show that much anymore. He said that whole Hanzi thing was really funny. Gary said that wasn't a bit at all. He said he feels terrible for Hanzi over that whole thing. The caller said it was great either way. Gary said he forgets the Canadian part of Hanzi but they have those rules there.
Jon asked the caller if he has heard he sounds like Charles Barkley. The caller said he has heard things like that. He said Gary should be on the show more. Gary said he's a fan of leaving the studio before you're asked to leave. He said Howard was a little moody this week so he didn't go in there that much. Jon said you have to pick your spots.
Gary said that Ronnie is the best person at asking to go in or asking to go in. He said some people don't get it. He said Sal will pretend he's not listening and say ''Really?'' when he tells him to go in. Gary said at tomes Sal will freak out asking what he did wrong that's getting him called in.
Jon asked who is really bad about going in there. Gary said they're all pretty good about asking. He said Shuli is really good about it. He said JD is one you have to make go in there. He said he has to drag him in there. Jon said getting them out is tough. Gary said Ralph was the one who was really tough to get out. He said he'd go in to talk about Spider-Man and he'd just stay in there for 45 minutes. Gary said it's Howard's job to tell them to leave though so he won't go in and drag them out.
Jon said there are times when Howard is talking at you but not really talking to you. He said that's when you don't know if you should leave. JD said he gets that a lot. He said then he'll start to walk out and Howard will call him back.
Jon said it was time to end the show. The guys got in their plugs and they ended the show around 11:00am.
Jon said that's cool but he's also wondering why Howard watches so much FOX News. Gary said Howard seems to like them mixing it up on there. He said he used to be into listening to those shows in the car and he likes hearing a differing opinion. He said there are times you watch the shows and go ''Really?''
Richard came in and said he thinks Howard likes the hot chicks on the channel. Benjy said he's not sure why FOX is so demonized. He said MSNBC is a lot of opinions just like FOX is. Gary said he has the opinion that FOX just makes a lot of stuff up.
Gary asked Benjy if he listens to a lot of political stuff. Benjy said he does. Gary said he used to listen to Rush Limbaugh just to hear it and he found it to be unlistenable. He said he seems to be acting like a character while other people seem more real. Jon said he thinks that's what people thought of Jay Leno too.
Jon said Chris Daughtry apologized and it always comes out sounding like it was forced. He said it's very difficult to pull off. Gary said that FOX convinced him he had insulted the troops when he really hadn't. He said that Chris wasn't being unpatriotic or anything. They convinced him that he was. Benjy said that pissed him off. He said that it was just so wrong for them to do it. He asked Gary why he thinks that he shouldn't have apologized. Gary said he thinks he was painted into a corner over it. Jon said if Chris is listening he should call in.
Jon asked how he learned about sex. Richard said his friend taught him. He said his friend showed him that he could jerk off and make stuff that could make babies. Richard said he didn't start jerking off right away. He said he once saw a model in a Bass Pro Shops catalog and he orgasmed without even touching himself. He said that he even shocked himself doing that. Richard said there was a mess. He said after that he started pumping off. Richard said he thought that stuff was funny and he laughed when his friend would jerk off in front of him.
Jon asked Gary when he found out and how. Gary said he found out from friends. He said he was in the Boy Scouts when they had a manual that talked about nocturnal emissions. He said that it was very foreign to him at the time. He said he never had anything like that before then. He said he had a couple of sisters in school who were way hot. He said he had a dream about them and he had a mess to clean up before his mother found out.
Jon asked Benjy how he found out. Benjy said he's not sure how he started. He said he remembers that he used to orgasm before he ejaculated. He said he was around 10 or 11 when he started. Benjy said he learned about the rubbing thing. Benjy said he had the same sensation but no ejaculation. Benjy said he had a feeling of enjoying that orgasm. He said he didn't even know about the hand method. He used to just fuck the mattress. He said he had a friend who did it in front of him and he learned to use his hand.
Benjy asked Jon how he learned. Jon said he was in science class reading about ''organisms'' and he kept saying orgasms. He said the whole class was laughing at him. He said he was told by the teacher to check his definitions. He said he had a friend who told him he knew what sperm was and he didn't know it at the time. He said he also woke up from a nocturnal emission once.
Benjy said he's never had a nocturnal emission. Gary said he had a couple. He said there was the one with the twins and then he had a couple of others but that's it in his life. Richard said he can't wait to isolate that clip of Jon saying ''I know what sperm is.''
Jon took a call from a guy who said this is hilarious. He said his go to was the Sears catalog. Benjy agreed. Gary said that Woody Allen made a joke about it in one of his movies. He said the NY Times had underwear ads that were good too. The caller said that he had it in the Washington Times.
Richard said he and his friends were like Indiana Jones looking for porn. He said they would go to the rock quarry and find porn magazines in the bulldozers and stuff. He said they'd find magazines along the creek too. He said they almost drowned trying to get to them at times.
Gary said Jackie did a movie a few years ago and Chris Rock was in it when he was like 17 or 18. He said that he did this bit about his mom finding porn and he said he used to jerk off to the pancake mix from Aunt Jemima. They had to go to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard would fire Benjy if he refused to do the fingering thing and Elisa didn't get topless. Gary said he'd have to ask Howard about that.
Jon said Benjy said the other day that he will go through with it if he doesn't lose the weight. Jon asked if he has had any progress. Benjy said he is still doing good with it.
Jason said he has a bunch of guys who he's going to line up for the fingering. Gary said that Yucko is one of the guys and he does that show ''Brickleberry.'' Gary said that he got a note from Yucko who said that he volunteered for the Benjy fingering and any press is good press, right? He had sent it to the Brickleberry publicist too. Gary said that the publicist didn't know what to make of that.
Gary said he thinks that Roger can always blame things on Yucko. He said he did it as a character and that's what he can say. Richard said he doesn't think he thought about the make out part of the whole thing. Jon said Benjy has to do both. Benjy said he doesn't have any sexual desire for a male. He said it's all a physical thing and it's not that big of a deal. Jon asked if Yucko knows the make out thing is involved. Gary said he's not sure.
Richard said he thinks the visual of make up getting all over Benjy's face is great. Benjy said that Sarah Silverman is a great comedian and she smelled Richard's balls. He said that's like a check mark on Twitter. He said that he'd like to have a big celebrity do this.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they have an update on the show time change. Gary said there isn't a date yet. They hit the dump button on the guy when he plugged some web site. Jon said he wasn't sure why he had to get that plug in at the end of that.
Jon and Gary talked about the later start time and what they have to think about if they do start later. Jason said they can all come in around the same time. He said that they have more time to get to work and he thinks he's going to lean toward leaving around the same time.
Gary said he gets home around 4 or 4:30 and he's thinking that he can go for a run first thing in the morning. He said that might just last 3 days though. Jason said maybe they can all go to the diner and catch up before work or something. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said Wolfie got it and he's probably satisfied. Jason said he's a Howard Stern fan and he thinks he's thrilled by it. Benjy said Wolfie had a funny tweet where he said ''Is it too soon to ask Howard for my own channel?'' Jason said it's just weird to ask for your own jingle.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the recording the show has from Gary playing trumpet sounds just like a song that was recorded. Gary said he hasn't been playing since the 7th grade to it's a joke that he can play at all. He said he still knows how to read music but he has a hard time hitting the high notes. He said he was never really able to do it. He said he had a friend who was huge and he was able to play. Richard said he thought the tuba was the fat guy instrument.
Gary said he stopped plying the trumpet when they tried to switch him to the tuba. He said he was out after that. Jason said the tuba sounds like a fat person walking so he had it as the opening of his Fat Guy show. Gary said there was a great comedy bit about how making your kid play tuba is like child abuse.
Richard said that he played in school. He said he played drums and almost got kicked off because so many people wanted to play. He said he was able to rub his stomach and pat his head at the same time and that convinced some people that he could play.
Gary asked Jon if he played in a band. Jon said no, he wasn't good enough. Gary said drums were the coolest. He said Sax and Trumpet were okay. Gary said then there was the bassoon and piccolo. Benjy said it seemed like those people were very comfortable with their sexuality already because it was kind of effeminate to play those.
Gary said the bottom of the barrel for percussion is the glockenspiel. He said that guy is fucked. Richard said he was the younger kid in bands and he got stuck with the bass drum in the marching band. He said the thing weighed a ton and his back would be killing him after. He said he thinks his back is still fucked up from that. Richard said he got to graduate to the roto toms which were 4 tom-toms in front of you. He said that was really cool.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Wolfie doesn't just admit he wants a jingle. Jason said he thinks it's funny. He said it comes up all the time and he kind of likes the false modesty because it's so easy to see through.
The caller also asked why the wack packers get to try to win money all the time. Jon said that Howard picks up whoever is on the phone and they call in a lot so they get on the air a lot. Jason said they don't work and they will sit there for hours and hours and hours. He said that's why Howard picks up on them and that's why you hear from them so much.
Gary said that Howard will sometimes pick up and see that they were on the phone all morning long for 5 days in a row. He said he can't believe that they'd devote their lives to getting on the air.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what their favorite jingles are. Gary said he'd have to bring it down to one person. Jon said he likes the Imran Khan song. Gary said Lucas loves it and he doesn't even listen to the show. He was telling Lucas about who Hanzi is and he thought it was the coolest thing when he found out he's actually Imran Khan.
Richard said he likes Jon's ''Rich Nerd'' song. Jon said he does too. Jason said he liked one that Dan the Song Parody Man did about Gary. He said he has it on his iPod as a regular song to listen to. Gary said there was a period of time that people were doing song parodies to 60s sitcoms and one was the Brady Bunch. He said he liked that one too. He said there's a Bohemian Rhapsody one that he likes about Robin too. Jon said he loves a lot of Richard's KC song parodies. Jason mentioned one about KC that he thought was Richard's but Richard said that wasn't him. Richard said they still get cassettes once in a while in the mail and those can be the funniest songs. Richard said there's one about High Pitch Mike that he really liked.
Gary said they did a Robin song parody contest back at K-Rock and the quality was amazing because people were starting to use computers. He said he came in one day and they played the Ham Hands Bill song parody. He said that was recorded on a cassette payer and it was the best song parody. He said you could even hear the clicking of the player buttons. Richard said there was a great one about Jackie being a drunk that was like that too.
Jon said they had to end the show. The guys all got in their plugs and they ended the show around 11:00am.
Jon asked the guys if they buckle up when they're in a cab. Gary and Benjy said they do sometimes but not every time. Benjy said it depends on the tradition. He said when he was a kid the seat belts were not a big thing. Gary said they were an annoying option in the car. Benjy said now it's the thing. Gary said it's not a stylish thing. He said they're safety items. Benjy said it's almost like you're weird if you don't wear one. Gary said there is a definite safety issue. Benjy said there is but you don't think about it on a train or a bus. Jon said you do in a plane.
Jon said Benjy made a good point. He said when they were kids the belts were an afterthought. He said that he was jumping all over a station wagon as a kid and he's fine. He said there are people who want the choice. He said Robin is taking her life into her own hands there. Jon said that's why she doesn't want to wear one even if the statistics show it's safer.
Gary said it's surprising because Robin spent so much time on her health. He said why not go this extra step? Benjy said they're all adults there and they live in a big city like New York that's much more dangerous than other parts of the country. Gary said this is a very simple step though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a medic and he sees the aftermath of crashes. He said Robin gave her reasons for not wearing one and he'd like to know if they do it regularly and if they teach their kids to wear them. Jon said he teaches his kids to wear them. He said there was no option though. He said they have to wear one. Jon said he wears his but he'd prefer not to. Gary said it's the law to wear one when you're driving so his kids wear them. He said that he has had the option where he has picked up kids from a game or something and he won't drive unless everyone has them on.
Jon took another call from a guy who said his dad is an old school guy and he'll drive 3-4 hours with the belt chime going off. He said he just refuses to wear it. Jon said he wondered if that ever timed out. Gary said he thinks it comes and goes. The caller said he went on a road trip with his father and the thing beeped the whole time. Gary said he had something he put on the passenger seat and it caused the sensor to think there was someone sitting there so it beeped the whole time it was there.
Jon asked the caller if he wears one. He said he's wearing one right now. Gary asked if the caller ever sat his dad down and said that this is a good thing. The caller said they've done that a hundred times. He said his mother is the only one who can get him to wear it. He said he must not want to hear her yelling at him.
Jon said the other thing that Robin revealed was that she goes and picks up her driver. Gary said Robin pulled him aside later and said the reason is that she likes to speed and she has to meet the guy somewhere other than at home. Gary said that Robin was close to losing her driving privileges because she got some tickets and she ignored them. Gary said that she had to get a lawyer and a whole deal to make sure it was straightened out.
Gary said he got pulled over last night again. He said it was in the same exact spot he's gotten pulled over at. He said he was doing 75 and he wasn't going faster than anyone else. Benjy asked if he thinks that the show can hurt or help. Gary said he went all in last night. He said he pushed all the chips on the table. He said the cop took a little while in his car. He said that gave him a minute to strategize. He said he thought about what to do. He said he has a badge so the cop comes over and he apologized to him. Gary said he thought there was an exit coming up so he went a little long. Gary said he showed the badge and said that he had a lot of friends on the job. He said he told him he's on the Howard Stern Show and he looked at him stone faced for like 15 seconds. Then the guy said ''Howard Stern. I like him.'' and he let him go. Gary said he wasn't doing 90 and speeding past everyone else. Gary said usually he slows down on that section but it was late and there wasn't much going on out there. Gary said he was looking in his mirror and he thought he was safe. Then the lights came on and he was done. Gary said he knows he doesn't deserve to get out of it and he knows he's a douche for doing that. He said the key is to apologize right away. He said you don't ask ''What? What was I doing?''
Jon said he'd like to see how Ronnie gets out of something like that. Benjy said he thinks that Ronnie would be very good. He said he thinks that he'd just look at the guy and they'd understand each other. Gary said Ronnie thinks he's a cop so he would think like that and get out of it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how long it will take Howard to get mad at Gary for doing such a thing. Jon said Howard might be okay with it. He said he didn't really drop his name. He just said where he works. Gary said Howard has told him to do what he needs to do and just not make him look bad. The caller asked about the badge he has. Gary said it's almost like a PBA card. He said it's in a case and he keeps it in his glove compartment. Gary said he doesn't think Howard will give him crap over this. He said he might over speeding though. Gary said he was pulled over in the same spot recently but he hadn't gotten pulled over in a long time before that. They went to break a short time later.
Jon moved on to talk about Willie Nelson coming in and how lively he is for an 81 year old. Jon said he has had some career. He asked if there is anything he can't do. Benjy said Marriage. Gary said that the guy just hangs and he seems to get along just fine. Gary said ever since he's been coming on their show he has been laid back like that. He said he has a golf course near his house or on his property and he and his friends used to play speed golf. He said he saw that in an interview he did on TV once.
Jon asked if Gary about how easy songs come to Willie. Gary said that people say it's just a gift you get. He said it seems like the greatest songs are done in the shortest amount of time. Benjy said he thinks the gist of it is there and they have the basic feeling but it might take days to record it or work out parts of it. He said it makes sense that the basic feeling comes to you right away. Gary said Willie comes up with the lyrics and then the melody. He said he's basically done it in 15 minutes. Benjy said he thinks it's that way for a lot of things. He said that you have to fill in what came to you.
Jon took a call from a guy who was calling from Hong Kong. He said he really enjoyed the Willie Nelson interview. He said he couldn't believe how many songs he really wrote. He said it was great to speak to them too. Benjy said he has talked to this guy for years on Facebook. He said it's so wild to hear him on the phone. The caller said he loves the show and he can't believe what Ronnie said a few days ago and he was laughing his ass off on his way to work. The guy broke into an American accent and Jon let him go a short time later. He said he liked his other accent better.
Jon said Sal is there and he wanted to talk to him about Willie's song writing. He said they were talking about how it just came to him. Jon asked if that's how prank calls come to Sal. Sal said sometimes they come so quickly and easily. He said sometimes they fall into place and sometimes it just takes a while. He said it applies to a lot of things in life. Sal said he thinks that Gene Simmons wrote Rock And Roll All Night was written on a napkin or something. He said it just came together that quickly. Gary said it sounds it. He said the song is very simple but it's also very popular.
Jon asked JD what he thinks about that kind of stuff happening quickly. JD said he thinks that Sylvester Stallone wrote Rocky in a week or something like that so it does happen.
Jon said he thinks that you just have that gut feeling for some things. Sal said sometimes it takes a couple of days but if you keep at it then you're going to get lucky. He quoted Thomas Jefferson and Jon asked where he heard that quote. Sal said he's not sure but he heard it with his ears. He said he may have read it.
Gary said he went to the songwriters hall of fame last night and it was interesting. He said they inducted a bunch of guys who wrote a lot of songs. He said the songs are like those guy's babies. He said it must be a really good feeling to have someone else record your song. Gary said it must be an unbelievable financial stream too.
Jon said that it's one thing to write it but then the other person gets the notoriety. He said many people listening probably don't know that Elvis didn't write Suspicious Minds. Sal said he didn't know that until just now. Sal broke into his Elvis impression and started to sing. Jon cut his microphone off a few seconds later.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the conversation they had about music in the 70s and compared it to the 90s. Gary said that he grew up in the 70s and he thinks that the pop music then was better than in the 90s. Jon said the later 70s music was similar to that 90s stuff. He said in the 70s they did have a lot of different styles. He said it wasn't so big in the 90s. Benjy said if you hear the number one songs of the 40s they're going to be cool tunes. He said it all depends on when you grew up.
Gary said he grew up listening to WPLJ and they played Peter Frampton and Earth Wind and Fire so it was more interesting to him than it is today. They went to break a short time later.
Sal came back in and said that he has problems with is last name too. Sal said they used to do roll call in class and the teacher would butcher it. Jon asked if he changed his last name at all. Sal said he didn't but his dad changed his first name to Tony for a while. He said he was in 4th grade. He said that was only temporary. He said that was about 2-3 months or so. Sal said his mother had to ask the family to straighten that out because she couldn't live like that. Sal said his father changed their names and his father refused to acknowledge him as Sal.
Gary asked if they changed his name at school. Sal said they did. He said his grandmother straightened things out and they were fine after that. He said when he came home he was Tony to his dad and no longer Sal. Jon asked if he ever questioned his dad. Sal said he never did. He said whatever he said went. Benjy asked how he felt as a kid. Sal said he thinks he blocked it out. He said he was so scared that he just blocked it out. He said he didn't want to piss his dad off. He just abided by his rules and put on the blinders. Jon said that's the easiest way to deal with it.
Sal said when his grandmother lent him the money his dad broke down. He said that he realized he wasn't a good person and that fucked with his head. Sal said that it really messed with him as a kid. He said he was only 10 when this was going on. Sal said that's just the way things were and that's all they knew.
Gary said that he grew up as an Italian kid and they used to have the kids around the adults and it was no big deal to them. He said that it was a different kind of thing. Sal said he wasn't at the table but he was in the room at the time and he heard a lot of the stuff that was going on in the family. He had tears in his eyes as he was talking about this. Sal said his dad used to praise his grandfather. Sal said his grandfather bought him a pizza place and then he'd come into the store and take all of the money out of the register and use it for drinks. He said his dad put him on a pedestal and then he broke down eventually and it all came out. Sal said his dad went off on him and he saw all of this going down. Sal said he kind of understood where his dad came from during all of that. He said he was named after his grandpa Sal said that's why the name change happened. Sal said once they left their grandmother's house that day he was back to being Sal.
Gary asked Sal about his grandfather and his kids and how different they must be. Sal said you can't believe it at all. He said that he's so proud of that. He said he learned from his family and didn't mimic it. He said he thinks about how he did the things he did and he can't imagine ever changing his kid's names. Sal said his son's name is Antonio and his dad told him he was going to name him after his dad. He said he talked to his wife about that and they named him Antonio. He said he still won't have an ear ring in his ear because he's afraid of what his dad would do to him. Sal said he has a great relationship with his dad now but growing up he couldn't imagine naming his kid Tony. He said they went with Antonio instead. He said he honored his dad but he doesn't have to carry that Tony name with him.
Gary said he thinks naming your kid is a difficult thing. He said there's not always the freedom to do what you want. He said that some people have pressure to name them after someone or in some special way. Jon said it's the level of pressure you feel. He said there are some families that make it hard to not go there.
JD said his dad wanted to name him Jack Daniel Harmeyer after Jack Daniels. He said his mom said no way so it turned into Jamie. He said his middle name is Daniel though. Jon asked if his dad ever called him Jack. JD said no. Sal said he was supposed to be named Captain Morgan.
Gary said he knew a couple that was going to name their daughter Brook Lynn after Brooklyn. Jon said if he was born a girl he would have been named Jodi Michelle.
Gary said that their feeling was that there was already one of those people in the family so they gave his brother's name as a middle name. He said if you're named after someone then there are things you have to live up to or live with when you say the name.
Sal said if his son wants to name his son Sal he'd be fine with it but if not he won't be upset about it. He said that he explained the tradition to his son and he had a different feeling toward it than his dad did. Sal said it can be flattering if they do it but it shouldn't be forced.
Jon said it's all relative to when you grew up. He said Sal's dad was a guy with traditions and that may not happen these days.
Jon said that some people don't care. JD said he doesn't care. He said his kids could name their kids whatever. He said he didn't mean they can name them ''Whatever'' but whatever.
Gary said their doctor told them not to have their son circumcised just because they want them to be like them. Sal said he wanted his kids to be circumcised because he wasn't and he had to deal with so much humiliation growing up. He said he worked in this place where he heard a girl and another guy talking about how gross that is and he just played along like it was.
Jon asked Sal about getting married and the wife taking his name. He asked if he had a problem with that. Sal said they did a little bit. Gary said his wife had that debate but he didn't argue with her. Sal said his wife wasn't sure how she wanted her name to be. Sal said he told her that they were becoming one unit so he believes in her taking his name. He said she agreed and that's the way it was.
Gary said he feels like if you marry someone and they don't take your name and there's no good reason there's a part of him that wonders why. He asked Jon how he'd feel if his wife didn't take his name. Jon said he'd be fine with it. He said he has two daughters though and now they have his last name. He said his last name will go away if they change their names. He said he's fine with it if they do change it. He said having daughters has changed his perspective on a lot of things.
Benjy said sometimes you hear about a guy taking a woman's last name and that bothers him even though there is nothing wrong with it at all. Jon said he knew a guy who combined his last name with his wife's last name. He said it wasn't even a hyphen. He said if Sal and Benjy combined their last names it would be like ''Bronkanale''. Sal said in Italy the women keep their last names and he thinks that's odd. He said the kids take the father's name though.
Gary said he finds it really odd when a woman takes the last name and then doesn't change it. He said Cindy Garvey was like that. He said she and Steve Garvey had this huge mess of a divorce and she kept the name.
Jon said it was time to end the show. The guys got in some plugs and they ended the show around 11:05am.