Jon said they'll have to see how he handles it. Jon said he doesn't have to go to a radio show every day after doing it though. Jon said he's not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing for Gary.

Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Gary is off the hook now. He said that 50 Cent threw it like a right handed pitch with his left hand. Jon and the caller talked about how bad it was and how it went way to the left out of his left hand. Benjy asked if it really matters and if a woman did it would that get Gary off the hook. Jon said he thinks people have different standards with men and women. Benjy said he doesn't think not being able to throw a ball is that big of a deal. Jon said he does.

Jon said when they were throwing things in their meeting the other day Sal was embarrassed. He said Benjy admitted he can't throw. Steve Brandano said he doesn't think it changes the world for Gary at all. Jon said it might make it worse because they're comparing it to Gary's. Steve said he's not sure why 50 Cent would do it. He said he must know he can't throw. Jon said maybe he can throw but it didn't work out. He said he's not sure if he has a good motion or not. Steve said he thinks Gary will be stuck with it forever.

Jon took a call from a guy who said if you look at 50 Cent throwing that ball he's shockingly uncoordinated. He said it looked like it was a joke. Jon said he would say it was a joke if he were 50 Cent. He said he'd just say he's a right and he threw left just as a joke.

Jon said if you go to a basketball game and you miss a shot not even touching the rim then you're going to be embarrassed. Jon said he thinks this is going to make it worse for Gary.

Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary went through a lot of preparation to get ready for his pitch. He said he had douche chills for him. The caller wondered how you throw a ball that far from the plate. He said it's just bad being a baseball fan and a Mets fan. Jon said it wasn't even near the plate. He said for Gary it wasn't near the plate and he hit the umpire.

Jon said that it can mess you up when you over think something like that. He said the more you talk about it the harder it might be. He asked Benjy what he thinks about that. Benjy said he could talk about that for 24/7 but he hates that. He said he enjoys it more when you don't think about it so much. Jon said when he over thinks something it gets him more nervous. He said he'd much rather react than prepare.

Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that they'll forget about Gary after this. He said that the news is abusing 50 Cent over this now. Jon asked if he has reacted to that yet. The caller said he's not sure. He mentioned that they had a cat throw out a first pitch recently. Jon said if anything they're going to bring up Gary again and he's sure they're doing that out in L.A. today. Benjy wondered if Gary was behind this.

Jon said he thinks that 50 Cent will ignore it and it will go away. He doesn't think Gary's will ever go away. They went to break a short time later.

Benjy said he's more worried about what other people say when they have influence. He said he's not sure why the weight thing bothers Jon because he can change it. Jon said of course he can. He said he can get in better shape but he can't change the shape of his body. He said even if he loses body fat he would have the same shape body. Benjy said he could have better posture. Jon said that's true.

Jon said when Howard tells you something it rings more true. Benjy said he doesn't think that's the case for him.

Jon took a call from a guy who said if that 50 Cent thing was basketball or football it would be a bigger deal. He said that he thinks that when Howard does too many interviews on one show he loses interest. He said that's what Natalie was saying yesterday and he agrees with her. The caller also asked who they think could take over Artie's chair in there. Jon said he doesn't know if anyone will ever go in that chair. He said he thinks Howard likes the dynamic of the show the way it is now. He said there are a lot of people who could do a good job in there. He said he doesn't think it will get filled any time soon though. He's just speculating though.

Jon said some people don't like the back to back interviews but they're going to bring them if it fits their schedule. Jon said that Natalie wants things a certain way and he thinks that Howard doing Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday is great but it might not be as great as having it all week. He said it's better than one day a week. Jon said they all love it when the show goes in a different direction. He said they love the staff things and the Wack Pack and other things. Jon said he thinks that there are going to be parts you like and parts you don't. He said that's the way it is in life. Jon said he admires Howard for keeping up with pop culture as long as he has. He said he thinks that's part of the success of the show. Jon said this is also one of the most loyal fan bases ever. He said that's a tribute to Howard and what he does.

Jon said they have fewer days for guests to come in but there will always be time for Howard to talk about the staff. He said he hopes that people continue to like what they hear. He said that they love talking about it on this show too. Jon said they had to go to break after that.

Benjy said that Craig helped him get his career started. He said he was writing a lot of stuff for him when he was doing characters and stuff. He said Craig told Howard how much it helped him and that helped him out. Benjy said he thinks that both of his parents are deaf and that might be why he's so in tune with people's voices. Jon said that makes sense. Jon said Craig has always been very nice to him. He said he thinks he's very talented and it's great when he comes on the show.

Jon took a call from a guy who said he had never heard Craig before and it was great to hear him and Artie going back and forth. He said he was doing the Tracy Morgan impression before Tracy was even popular. Benjy said he thinks that Craig should be bigger than he is. Jon said he thinks Craig does a lot of stand up and he opens for a lot of bands and stuff. He said he thinks he makes a good living. Benjy said he thinks that he'd be great on AGT. Jon said sometimes if you're known as an impressionist people may not know your name. They may know you more for your voices.

Jon took a call from a guy who said he knows Howard complains about the 6am start time. He asked if he would do a later start time and do more days than he is now. Jon said he doesn't think they're going to get more days. He said going to afternoons would be nice for the staff. He said Howard likes to be first thing in the morning. He said shifting the show to 8 might be a possibility but he really doesn't know. He said they could do afternoon shows but he doesn't think they will. Benjy said he would hope so. He said Howard has said that the happiest he was in his life was doing afternoons.

Lisa G was in and asked if they thought he liked doing the show at noon. Jon said he thinks he did. He said he thinks Howard likes being the first thing out of the box though. Jon said going to afternoons would be a nightmare in traffic for him. He said waking up later would be easier. Benjy said he thinks they'd be on better in the afternoons. He said Robin had a great idea to move to England and wake up later but do a show in the afternoon there and they'd be on the right time there in New York.

Jon asked Lisa what she had in the headlines. Lisa ran down a few things they had coming up in today's Howard 100 News. They ended the show after that. They were done around 11:10am.

Howard's Photo Shoot And Ronnie's New Life. 12/05/11. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A Riley Martin song parody, a Tyra Banks Show parody about phobias, Billy Joel performing ''Summer Highland Falls'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio, Yoko Ono's ''People of Earth... How are you?'' clip.

Howard started the show saying good morning to everyone who was there. He said that he's still not sure how many companies Sirius XM is. He said for their purposes they're two companies and for the stock holders they're one. He said he can't figure it all out.

Howard said he's very tired even though he went to bed fairly early. He said he watched Boardwalk Empire last night and loved that. He said it was a great episode. Howard said Robin will love it. Robin said she has to watch either that or Dexter and she had to watch Dexter last night. Howard said he's still on season 2 of Dexter but it is fabulous. Howard said Beth hasn't been watching it but he thinks she'd like it.

Howard said yesterday he was very busy doing a photo shoot for Ralph. He said Ralph has an app available in iTunes that's a magazine (Champion Magazine). He said it's for your iPhone or iPad. He said Ralph asked him to shoot some pictures for the cover of the app but he's not even sure how that works. Howard said they have a different magazine every month and it's devoted to all things geeky.

Howard said they shot a group of people who go to comic book conventions and dress up as various characters. Robin asked if he was really interfacing with the people who go to those conventions. Howard said he did. He said there is an article on them that they're writing for the magazine. Robin said this is encouraging them.

Howard said Sam Simon is involved with this thing and they rented a location for a couple grand. Howard said he wanted to put them all in a rich setting so that's why they rented this space. He said he liked all of the people. He said they were very nice. He said he had a lot of technical problems with his flashes and things like that. He said there isn't much light in the building so he had to create his own light.

Howard said he was on his own but had to call his teacher for some help. He said that Doug helped him over the phone. He said he had to go to play B to get it done. Howard said he was very stressed out because he does want to come through for them. He said he's kind of on his own though so it's tough. He said he needed to set up for 2 hours but he didn't have the two hours to set up.

Howard said there from 11am to 5pm and he didn't get a chance to finish the shoot. Howard said this was harder than radio. He said he can't take the time to go and work another job to get himself up to where he needs to be. Robin said he could do that on the side. Howard said if he did it would be trouble for this show. Howard said this is the way it's got to be.

Howard said he shot all day and he had Ronnie there for security reasons. He said he had him watching his cameras and stuff. He said Ronnie was also doing some stand in work. He said he heard Ronnie on the phone with someone and he was obsessed listening. Howard said Ronnie stepped out of the room but he was talking really loud. He said he heard him telling someone about how this girl wasn't going to be hot chick of the week. He said he has some kind of organization around this Twitter thing. Howard said Ronnie is in charge of nothing but now he has a TV deal and this Twitter thing going on. Howard said Ronnie was yelling at this person on the phone. He said he didn't know what the fuck he was doing when he first got on Twitter. He was the one who suggested he have a hot chick of the week. Now it's become his life. He said Ronnie is so involved in that Hot Chick of the Week thing.

Howard said Ronnie is also calling Monday's ''Mund-Days.'' Howard said that's his other thing. He said he heard him on the phone and he was acting like he had a whole organization going on with the Hot Chick of the Week. He said he was very loud and aggravated on the phone. He said you really had to see it.

Howard said Ronnie has a whole life now. Howard said FOX flew Ronnie out to Los Angeles to let him walk the red carpet out at an MMA event. Howard said he had some audio of Ronnie being interviewed out there too.

Howard played the clip and a reporter was talking to Ronnie like he was a star. Howard said he doesn't really want Ronnie out there doing this stuff. Howard said that Ronnie says that Twitter got him the job too. Ronnie came in freaking out saying that he never said that. He said that the sitcom deal came through twitter. Howard said it comes through the show. Ronnie said that's what he told the woman. He asked why Howard has to break his balls. Howard said it's not Twitter that got him that work. He said it's this show that got him the work. Ronnie said he knows that and Howard knows he appreciates it.

Howard asked Ronnie who called him yesterday that he had to yell at about the Hot Chick of the Week. Ronnie said he thought Howard was busy with the photo shoot. He said that he was talking to someone about the Hot Chick of the Week thing. He said he was talking to Zena, the girl who works with him on that thing. Howard said he got the feeling that he didn't want some girl being part of it. Howard said Howard TV was shooting this photo shoot yesterday. He said he hopes they got him yelling on the phone. Ronnie said in the month of December he decided to put up two girls. He said he put up on Twitter that he was going to have the fans pick who they like. He said one girl was bothering Zena about it. He said he told Zena that he looked to see who was getting suggestions. Ronnie said he likes doing it himself. Ronnie said he was just telling Zena that the girl wasn't going to get it just because she thought she was getting the votes.

Howard said he thinks he has it figured out. He said there's this girl who thinks that she's getting the votes and she thinks she should be Hot Chick of the Month. Ronnie didn't think so and he told Zena that on the phone. Ronnie said this was all happening yesterday. He said that he's ending the year with a Hot Chick of the Year. Howard said he should have 12 finalists and he should take them out to a club and have a whole event. Ronnie said the clubs don't want to do that. He said he could do it there but Howard doesn't want to do it there.

Howard said Ronnie was very firm with Zena. Ronnie said there was one girl who walked away with it and he had two girls who were tied with second place so he has three girls up. He said in January they'll start up again with Hot Chick of the Week. Ronnie said maybe he'll do a Hot Chick of the year too. Howard said he thinks he should.

Ronnie said he was supposed to have two women for Hot Chick of the Month but there will be 3 because they were so close. He said he had to put up more boobs so he put up 3. He told Howard the names of the girls, @xxVixenBritxx, @Jen_Duran and @Model_Barefoot.

Ronnie told Robin about how nuts Howard was getting yesterday with his shoot. He said he was going nuts because he had to get out of there. Howard said he had to tell Ralph to back off. He said he was going to let Ralph take the pictures and just go home. Howard said Ralph was on the phone and telling him what to do.

Ronnie said he couldn't believe that Howard spent 6 hours there. Howard said he was tired and he was there all day long. He said he had to apologize to Sam for getting testy with him. He said he told Sam that he was going to do a picture of the two super heroes playing chess together or something. He said he told Sam to get out of the way so he could do his thing. He said this is all on his head.

Howard said he takes everything he does very seriously. Ronnie said he does that with the Hot Chick of the Week too. Howard said he had Ronnie there helping out because he thought he needed security. Ronnie talked about the one guy dressed up like Chewbacca from Star Wars. Howard said there's a woman there who makes a living dressing up like a character. He said there was a lot going on there. He said it was fun doing the shoot.

Howard got back to Ronnie on the Red Carpet. Howard said he was like Brad Pitt out there. Howard played more of the interview that was done on the red carpet. The woman asked Ronnie about the pilot he had coming up. Ronnie said he can't talk about it right now. He said it's top secret stuff. Howard said he's acting like Jennifer Aniston now. He said that the whole interview was about how he can't talk about that stuff. Howard said Ronnie wasn't talking about him either.

Howard said Little Mikey wrote a song parody about Ronnie's poem. Ronnie said ''fuck him.'' Howard said Ronnie is so literal when he writes about Winter. He said that he was writing about how it gets darker earlier and things like that. He said that he doesn't talk about how he's in the winter of his life or anything like that. Fred stared doing his Ronnie impression and goofed on him for a few seconds. Ronnie said that's just the way he writes.

Howard played more of the Ronnie interview clip and played the last few seconds of that. Ronnie said the chick was hot. Howard said there was another chick that came over and interviewed Ronnie. She gave out the information for where she was from but she rattled it off so quick it was barely understandable. Ronnie said that she was hot too. Ronnie said she was from MMA Heat. Howard said he wanted Robin to figure it out.

Howard played the interview and this woman said it was interesting to see him in person talking instead of hearing him on the show. She asked Ronnie if they talk about the MMA a lot on the show. Ronnie said that they don't talk about it a lot on the air. He said they do have big fans there who watch. He mentioned Richie Wilson and how he's a big fan. Howard said this was some interview. Ronnie asked why it was so fucking funny. Howard said he thinks she was referring to Robin and Fred, not other people who work there.

Robin said she watched the Ronnie's Block Party special on Howard TV and it was great. Ronnie said he wants to talk about that. He said that Scott said he was the only one who got hammered in it but everyone got hammered. He said that he got hammered and so did Sal. He said Scott wasn't the only one. Howard said Scott can only see himself when he watches something like that.

Howard played more of Ronnie's interview where this woman asked him about the MMA. Ronnie said he thinks that they'll draw a lot more people having it on FOX now. The interviewer said she wants to bring Robin out to the fights. Robin said no when Howard asked if she wanted to go.

Howard said Ronnie was also on something called Star Cam during the fight. Howard played another clip where Ronnie was talking to an interviewer about how great her body was. Ronnie said that she needs a bodyguard. Ronnie didn't want to talk about Howard when she asked him about working there. Howard said they have him trained very well. Howard said he doesn't want him talking about him so he did just fine.

Robin said she's afraid when they mention he's from the Howard Stern Show and he's learning down her shirt. Howard said he needs to learn to mumble where he's from so no one knows.

Howard said Ronnie was also the star of the Wrap Up Show last week. He was on there talking about his poetry. Robin asked if he's written any poetry for Stephanie. Ronnie said he's not sure if he did. Howard said he figures she'd break up with him after he wrote her poetry. Ronnie said he's sure that Robin has had guys write her poetry. Robin said she has and she's broken up with them. Howard said Beth had a guy do that and she broke up with him.

Howard said Ronnie was telling Jon Hein about how he writes his poetry. He said that he was telling Jon that he wasn't going to tell him his formula but then he revealed it a few minutes later. Ronnie revealed that you write about the sun, the girl's hair and their eyes. Howard said the Wrap Up Show was fascinating with him. Ronnie said he learned a lot of shit with Howard yesterday. Howard said he learned about hair, sun and the eyes.

Howard said Ronnie has a whole world of his own going on. He said he finally got what he wanted. He's a mogul and he loves his fame. Howard said he goes out on tour and visits people. Ronnie said they have so many things booked now. He said they have a big hotel in Atlantic City after them now. Howard said they're like Martin and Lewis.

Howard said that Ronnie and Scott were back stage eating in the Ronnie's Block Party special on Howard TV. Scott was asking where his money was and things like that in the special too. Howard said Scott was looking for his money that night. He thought Shuli had the money already. Howard said that Scott is always quitting too. Ronnie said that they all caught shit in that show too. He said it wasn't all Scott like Scott said it was. Howard said Ronnie looks as dumb as Scott does. Ronnie said that Sal threw up in that episode too. Ronnie said they have a lot more to come. Robin said she loved when they were putting pins in the map.

Ronnie said they have gigs in January, February and April all over the country. Howard asked who the tour manager is. Ronnie said Shuli has a guy who is helping. He said he's not sure if he wants his name mentioned though. Ronnie said the West Coast guy is Sequoia and the East coast guy is Bruno.

Howard played a clip of Ronnie on the Wrap Up Show talking about writing poetry in the bathroom. Ronnie said that Jason got all disgusted when he heard that because he thought the piece of paper he had was the one from his bathroom.

Howard asked how long it took to write that poem ''Winter.'' Ronnie said it took a couple of days. He said he will walk away if he can't figure out what to write. Howard asked why he didn't write ''Winter is when I wear my jacket and hat.'' Robin said he didn't even have to use the word Winter in a poem about Winter. Ronnie said that's the way he does things and if Robin doesn't like it... Robin said that she's just asking about his writing process.

Howard did his impression of Ronnie writing about Winter. Ronnie said a lot of people were posting stuff about Winter on his Twitter. Howard played some audio from the Wrap Up Show where Ronnie was telling the guys about his poetry writing in the bathroom.

Howard said he's grossed out when someone takes the paper into the bathroom and brings it back. Howard said they should throw it right in the garbage.

Howard played more of Ronnie talking about his writing. He quickly gave up on it though. Howard said he wants a copy of that poem to read. He said he'd love to see the piece of paper he wrote it on. Ronnie said it's a mess.

Howard played a clip of Ronnie reading his poem. It was only two lines though. Ronnie said he was done after reading the first two lines. They were ''Winter is when there are no leaves on the trees. Winter is when we say goodbye to the birds and the bees.''

Howard and Fred started making up more lines for the poem. They had some fun with that for a minute. Fred was rhyming and making stuff up that Ronnie didn't think worked. He said that it had to be about winter. Fred was just rhyming.

Howard painted the scene with Ronnie writing in the bathroom. He had audio someone shitting really loud as he was writing down the poetry. Howard said that whole process should be taped. Ronnie said he wouldn't be able to do that with a camera light on him.

Howard said Little Mikey must have been inspired to write a song about Ronnie. Howard said the poem is so bad that the song is just awful. He turned the poem into a country song. Howard played the song and laughed as Mikey was singing the whole poem. Howard said this is like the Bizarro world and in that world Ronnie would be getting all of these honors and awards for his poems.

Howard said the song is terrible. Ronnie said he thinks it's great. Howard said he was lost at one point. He stopped the song and said that was a Ronnie update. Howard said he could do a poem of the week with Ronnie. He said he needs another one. Ronnie said he's working on another one for the Christmas Party.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie yells at him in the car. Howard said he can tell when he's upset because he'll start swerving around in the car. He said that he'll put the partition up and he starts driving particularly bad. Howard said it must be a psychological thing. Ronnie said that's just not true. He said that Howard is so full of shit.

The caller asked if he has to worry about cutting a cab off today after he reamed him. Howard said it's not that literal. Howard said Ronnie has a lot of anger issues. Ronnie said Howard does too. Howard said Ronnie doesn't even know how angry he is. Ronnie said Howard gets angry and starts throwing stuff fin the back. He said Howard has thrown the phone in the back of the car and banged it until it broke. Howard said that's not true. Ronnie told him to tell the truth.

Howard said they have talked for over an hour and mostly about Ronnie. Robins said she saw the Howard TV special about Richard's wedding and Ronnie was there too. Howard said he has to get Lisa G in there and they also have to talk about Eric the Midget and Johnny Fratto. Gary said he has more about that too. They went to break a short time later.

In the clip Howard was talking about the conversation they had about the guys pleasing themselves. Howard said a lot of the guys did what he had done by hiding in the bathroom. Howard said guys will do it to anything. He said Lenny Bruce said that guys would do it with mud. Howard said he's done it to some weird things. He said he has wrapped himself up with weird things. Howard said what he likes to do is put his thing on things to see how they feel. Jackie has said he used ice cream. Howard said that's too sensitive to do. He said he has put an ice cube on there. He said he'll even flop it on a sink just to see how it feels.

Howard asked the guys if they've done that. Jackie said he's put it on a piece of wood or a table cloth. Howard said he knows a guy who did it to a chicken and then cooked it. He said that's sick. Robin asked if there was a difference in the taste. Howard said it was salty.

Howard said he thought his story was kind of honest. He said he has done it after stinking up the bathroom so now when he stinks it up he gets aroused. Jackie said he's never done that. Howard said he's sure he's never done that. Howard said Jackie must have done that. Jackie said he would tell him if he had. Howard asked Fred if he's done that. Fred said he has been in the bathroom but he doesn't like to mix his actions. Howard said they're uptight.

Howard said both Gary and Jackie got excited in their cars and they have done it while driving. Howard said that he's been in his car and been aroused. Robin asked Fred if he has done it in his car. Fred said he's never done it in his car. Howard said Jackie would pull over and run into the woods to do it. He said he heard from Neil yesterday that it was a great conversation. Howard said he figured that Neil had done something like that but he never had. Howard said he'd rather do it in his car than run into the woods to do it.

Gary said Stuttering John talked about how he had finished in his car. Howard said Ronnie had finished on his gloves in the car. He said he ruins gloves doing that.

Gary said he's done it at a friend's house. Howard said he doesn't want to know more about him. He said he's the grossest guy around.

Jackie said in college he had bunk beds and that's a tricky one. Howard said he never did it in the room with roommates in college. He said it never occurred to him to do it. He said he's amazed by that. Howard said he didn't feel right about it. He said in college he was more worried about what he was going to do for a living. He said it didn't look like he was going to be able to do anything. He swears he never did it in college. Howard said he was on a lot of drugs back then too.

Howard said he had to move in with Dr. Lou. He said there was a guy he lived with who was running around high on hash and he was really weird. He said that Dr. Lou had a roommate who would go out and come back bloodied and beat up. He said they didn't know what was going on.

Gary said Jackie must have thought of a story. He saw him laughing over there. Jackie said he had a friend at college and they had an Indian student in their room. He said they came home one night and this guy was kissing the Indian guy on the lips. He said he had forgotten about it until just then.

Howard said that they had a drunk guy in their room once. He said the guy was banging two chicks at once and this other guy wanted to sleep. He said that went on a whole year. The other guy trying to sleep was in law school. He said the drunk guy was like Axl Rose in the room with music playing.

Howard said that Neil told him that the masturbation discussion was great. He said that they should call him and get him on. Gary said he should be in shortly. Howard said that Neil talked about how he had done it in his car. Howard said he wants to talk to him about that. Howard said he just uses his hand. He doesn't have a glove.

Gary said he has Neil on the phone. Howard picked up and talked to Neil about how often he does it. Neil said it's not often but he has done it. Howard asked if he drives a ''sticky shift.'' Neil said he does. He said you do it when there's no traffic and you have a long trip. Howard asked if he pulls his pants down. Neil said he does. Howard asked where he puts it. Neil said he wipes it on his pants. Howard had him swear to god he does that. Neil said he swears. Howard asked him to swear on his son's life. He didn't at first but then he did. Howard said he believes it now. Howard asked if he washes his hands when he gets home. Neil said it's gone by then. Howard thanked him for the call a short time later. He said that's Neil Drake. Howard said he thinks it's time to drop that discussion. They went to break after that.

Roger Daltry Comes In. 10/3/03. 7:40am
Howard came back from break and played some of the David Bowie song he was talking about earlier. He couldn't get the volume up on his computer though so he ended up complaining about that for a short time. He played it at the lower level but told the guys to give him some juice so he could bump it up. It wasn't working though. Howard sang along to the song. He had the lyrics wrong with ''I'm an elevator salesman'' because it's actually something like ''I'm an alligator...''

Howard said some guy sent in a song parody about Robin's experience with her diarrhea out in California. The song is ''Chariots of Fire'' and there are fart sounds and Robin's laugh thrown in.

Howard took a call from Savanna who was on the evaluators last Friday. She said she saw herself last night on E! and she thought she looked horrible. Howard said she was okay in person though. Benjy though it was just the opposite and she looked better on TV.

A listener called in and pointed out how dumb Howard sounded getting the lyrics wrong with the David Bowie song. He couldn't spend much time on that because he had to get to Roger Daltry.

The Who's Roger Daltry came in to talk to Howard. He was apparently getting kind of antsy out in the green room. Howard said Roger cut his hair so he asked him what was up with that. He said he's getting old so he cut it off. Howard said he's getting old too but he doesn't cut it. Roger said ''That's because you're ugly!'' Howard said he had to get used to that look because he was so used to seeing him with the long hair. Howard wondered if he's doing it because he's on TV now. Roger said he just couldn't stand dealing with the long hair anymore. He said it's different when you're young.

Howard talked to Roger about hanging out with Jimi Hendrix years ago and how they used to do drugs together. Roger didn't want to talk about that stuff for some reason. Howard brought up Paul McCartney and how he went to see his concert not too long ago. Roger thought the music sounded kind of like a swing band. Howard said that he liked it all but Roger was goofing on how it didn't even sound like rock and roll anymore. Roger said McCartney is a great singer but he just doesn't like what he's doing these days.

Howard and Roger talked about Robert Plant a little bit and did his impression of him. He also had Artie do his AC/DC impression for Roger, who wasn't a fan of their music. He said he likes the guys in the band, just not their music.

Howard asked Roger what was up with all of The Who's farewell concerts. Roger said they never said they were doing a final tour. They would just decide not to go on tour after doing it for a while. Howard told him they can't keep saying it's their final tour if they're going to keep coming back. Howard ended up talking about the Rolling Stones concert he saw not too long ago. He said they were still good even after all of these years.

Howard said that Roger stuck behind Pete Townshend when he was charged with child porn stuff. Howard said he bailed out on him when he heard about it. Roger told Howard what happened and how he believes that Pete wasn't looking for child porn, he just ran across it and told the police about it. Roger claims that the authorities lied about some stuff and said that he downloaded the child porn when he actually didn't. Howard and Robin said that this is why Pete has to stay on tour, otherwise he ends up doing these ''investigations.'' Roger told Howard that Pete isn't the most well thought out person when it comes to that stuff. He said he does know that he's not into child porn though.

Howard asked Roger if he thinks that David Bowie still rocks. Roger said that he does still rock and he's always rocked. He said he's always ahead of the ball in music. Howard gave Roger a plug for this History Channel show that he has coming up soon. He hosts a show where they reenact history. Howard asked him if they kill Jews or something like that. Roger told Howard that they don't do that but they do other reenactments.

Howard asked Roger about his marriage and if he's been able to remain faithful to her. Roger told Howard that his wife knew what she was getting when she married him so it wasn't a big deal. He also said that he doesn't know why people make sex such a major part of their relationship. Howard asked him if he ever went back to his wife and told her about banging a famous chick. He said he didn't say anything to anyone about stuff like that. Howard tried to get him to talk about some of the chicks he's banged but he wasn't talking. He said sometimes he and his wife may have talked about some of that stuff.

Big Black called in and said he loved him on the TV show ''Sliders'' and heard that he may have banged Kari Wuher. Roger said he wasn't saying anything about that and he wondered who his source was. A few other people said that they paid big bucks to see The Who's ''final tour'' but they still haven't had one. Howard said the Rolling Stones did the same thing and they're still on the road.

Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) called in and said he had some story about him having a tumor in his stomach for years. Roger wondered if Chaunce had been talking to his doctor or something. Roger said he kept it secret for a while. He said this thing used to pop up at night and he'd poke it trying to get rid of it. He eventually went to a doctor and had it removed.

Howard took some more phone calls and Mariann from Brooklyn called in to tell Roger that he's not so good looking since he said that Howard was ugly. Howard gave Roger a plug for his show ''Extreme History'' that airs this Sunday at 10:30pm on The History Channel. Roger thought it was a ten o'clock show but Howard said it's 10:30. Howard was trying to wrap up the interview but Artie brought up the death of John Entwhistle. They spent a short time talking about that before Howard took a break.

Bobo Tricked Into Thinking The World Was Ending. 01/02/13. 8:10am
Howard said his microphone is fucked up. He said that it's making noise. He said that's not annoying at all. Howard asked where that idiot Bobo is. Howard said he told him he's an idiot. Bobo was laughing. Howard said they shaved off his eyebrows last year and they're growing back funny. Bobo said he has more hair on his eyebrow than on his head.

Howard asked Bobo about the jacket he had on. He had Bobo and a Howard Stern patch sewed on. Howard said he's like a stalker in a way. Howard said he must want people to know who he is because he wears things with his name on them.

Howard asked Bobo about the world ending thing and what he thought when he came in there and they made it seem like it was going to end. Bobo said he loves the show and he didn't want to let the show down so he wasn't even going to come up there. He said Sal convinced him to go up there. He said his wife was upset that he was going to leave them alone at home after all of the stuff he did. Bobo said he felt bad about the whole thing but he did come up there.

Howard said that Bobo came in and Howard TV filmed him as they shook their floor to make him think the world was ending. Howard asked how they did that. Scott DePace said that they had an intern jump on the floor in Robin's booth. He said the floor is a floating floor and it shakes easily.

Howard said he told Bobo that the world wasn't going to end. Bobo said that he is done with this 2012 shit now. He said no more conspiracies anymore. He said he's done with all of that. Howard asked why he would believe this if he wasn't even into the Mayans. Bobo said he read books and watched TV shows about it. He said he skimmed through one book about it. He said he read the Cliff notes.

Howard said he has video of Bobo going crazy and freaking out when they fooled him in studio. Howard asked Bobo why he doesn't believe in Jesus instead of the Mayan god. Bobo said he does. Howard said he's fucked up. He said he should apologize to Jesus.

Howard tried playing a clip of Bobo in the studio on December 21st. It wasn't coming through on his board. Howard had to try something else. He had to pull the clip from somewhere else. Howard told Scott the Engineer not to bother coming in.

Howard played the clip where Bobo was doing a phony intro for a bit they came up with. Then they shook the floor and Bobo started freaking out. They told him to keep going. Bobo sounded like he was freaking out. The guys told Bobo to try again and they shook the floor again. He wasn't able to get his lines out. Sal told him to calm down. Then the lights go out and a message comes on saying that there are nuclear bombs heading to New York City from North Korea. Bobo said ''See, Bobo's not so stupid!'' Howard said he loves that line.

Howard played more of the clip and Sal said he wasn't able to get through to anyone on the phone. Bobo was freaking out and then another message came on saying that people should not move. Sal tried to get out of the studio but he pretended that the door was locked. Howard said Bobo must have been thinking about his family. Bobo said he was. Sal was screaming asking for someone to help. They eventually opened the door and Bobo ran out like he was running for the hills.

Howard asked where the rest of it was. It cut off when Bobo ran out. Sal came in and said that he had the studio from the studio but he didn't have the Howard TV audio. Howard said he's going to have to yell at Sal later. Howard said he saw that video and he didn't really think it through. He said he could have taken it so much further. Sal said he was really shook up after that. Howard said whenever he records something he should think about the angle. He said he should have audio from the hallway ready for him too. Sal said that Howard TV has it. Howard said he should go out on the street with Bobo and say that he's an idiot too.

Howard said Sal didn't plan an end so there really isn't one. Sal said there is more to it. Howard said the world didn't end but Sal's world is going to end. Sal said that he came in on a vacation day to do that. Howard said he should get no vacation days. He said he should be in there working on Saturday and Sunday.

Howard told Sal he's retarded and an idiot. Sal said Howard TV has the video. He said he had his part ready to go. Howard said he doesn't care whose part it is. Sal said he had his obligations done. Howard said he's a genius. Howard said he can't wait to see how he does when he leaves. Bobo said he thinks that his IQ just went up by 50 points. Howard said Sal goofed on him and he fell for it. Bobo said he can see how stupid Sal is for not getting that done though.

Howard said he called Gary about Sal not having an end game for the bit. He said he could have made it phenomenal. Gary said he talked to Sal about it this morning. He said he did a good job but he could have done a great job. Howard said this isn't like third grade trying to build someone up. He said this is a guy they pay. Gary said you can't kick him while he's down. Howard said he can call him an idiot. Gary said that's Howard's way and not his way.

Howard asked Jason if he thinks Sal is an idiot. Jason said that Sal didn't have a plan that morning. He said he was working that morning and they all hid in the office so Bobo wouldn't see them. He said he just gave up after that. They didn't have much of a plan.

Sal said he did have a plan. He said they had it all broken down. Sal said Bobo shit his pants and ran out of there. He said he executed the whole thing from top to bottom. Gary said he wrote the whole script. Howard asked Sal if he ever thought about what might happen and what else they could do. Sal said once he panicked they told him it was a joke. Howard said they could have had an agenda for him. He said they could have had him make a message for his family or something. Sal said they could have done more but they didn't.

Howard asked Sal what he learned from this. Sal said they should have come up with more. Howard said he should have had an end game. Sal said he knows what the end game is now. Howard said Sal should let the other shows get him. Sal said no one is asking. Howard sarcastically said he can't believe that. Howard said the bit was okay. Sal said some people thought it was great. Howard asked what he learned. Sal said that they captured his fear. He said that if they do another prank they'll get more. Howard asked Sal what he's going to do if they do it again. Sal said he's going to make sure they provide audio and outline the whole thing. Howard said that's not what he's looking for. Sal said he wants to get more audio and ask more about the family and things like that. Howard said this is radio so the audience can't see anything. He said Sal failed with this bit. He said he failed the team. Sal said he doesn't think so. Howard said he's telling him he did. Sal said he did his best. Howard said he's not learning and giving him confidence.

Howard told Sal what to say to him. He said that he should write this down. Howard said he should write down ''What is the end game?'' Howard said he has to scare Bobo but then what? He has to get him talking. Howard said he could ask him a question because he's Bobo. Howard asked Sal what he learned. Sal said that he's going to tell himself what he has to do. Howard said he has to do this stuff before the prank. Howard asked Robin if she thinks that he's getting it. Robin said she doesn't think so.

Sal told Howard that Howard TV has the rest of the audio. Howard said Sal didn't get that because he thinks that's not his job. Sal said that's not what he said. He said that he just got the audio and the other stuff wasn't available to him.

Howard asked Bobo if he gets it. Bobo told Sal what he thinks he should have done. He basically repeated what Howard just said about the end game.

Howard asked Robin to get him out of this. Robin said they have the Howard TV audio to play now. Howard asked if they had it. Scott asked for them to give him a second. Scott played the audio of Bobo and Sal running out of the studio and trying to get out of the building. Sal said they told them to stay in the building. Bobo was still freaking out and said he had matches with him to tell which way the wind is blowing. He was breathing heavy and saying his wife was right and he shouldn't have come there. Howard had the guys back it up a little bit so he could hear the audio again. Robin was talking over it so he had to hear it again.

Bobo was talking about how he wants to die there if he has to die anywhere. Sal said he has kids and he can't believe he's talking about dying there. Boob said he was hyper ventilating. He said those fucking sneaks in North Korea are lunatics. Bobo had to breathe into a paper bag. He said he had to pick his kid up at school. Howard said that was Bobo breathing into a bag. He said it's great on TV.

Howard asked if the bag helped. Bobo said it did. He said it has a calming effect. Bobo said nothing real was going to help him that day.

Howard said that's going to be on Howard TV and you can see all of that. He said Sal did a good job but not a great job with the bit.

Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves this bit and it has to be in the Best of 2013 next time they're on Christmas vacation.

Howard said that they have a sandwich board for Bobo to wear. It says ''I am a moron. I thought the world was going to end.'' Will said that Bobo agreed to wear his toupee on top of the dunce cap too. Howard said he has to do that. Bobo said he didn't know he had to do that. Bobo pulled off his toupee and it wasn't coming off easily. It was glued on. Robin said ''Oh my god! Wow!'' when he took it off. Howard laughed. Howard said his whole face is tan but the skin on his head is pink.

Howard had Bobo put on his dunce cap and put the toupee on top of that. Howard said the toupee is on top now. He said that way he doesn't feel totally bald. Howard asked what he's going to say to the people on the street. Bobo said he's going to tell them that he's an idiot and he thought the world was going to end.

Bobo asked if he has a prize for him because he wants to take his kid to Disney. Gary said they don't have any prizes right now. Howard said Bobo can play a game later in the year.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't deserve a prize for that. Howard had Bobo go down to the street while they waited. Howard said they have a microphone down there. Howard said maybe Sal wasn't that bad. He said the end was pretty funny. He said maybe he was a little hard on Sal.

Robin said they could have had Sal ask for a blow job from Bobo before the world ends. She said Bobo blowing into that bag was the best. She said it wasn't a great prank because you don't have to do anything elaborate to fool Bobo. Howard said all they did was turn the lights out and have an announcement saying that the world was ending.

Howard took a call from a CWB who said that the bit was pretty good. He said it was better than Gary the Retard going to the moon. Howard said Gary got scared during that one. Howard said with Bobo it was just the lights going out. Howard said in Sal's defense he doesn't think that anyone believed Bobo would fall for it.

Howard asked if they have the clip cued up from where Bobo started freaking out. Gary said they needed 2 seconds. Howard TV had the clip a couple of seconds later. Bobo was freaking out and saying that things were falling down. Nothing was falling down. Sal told him to just sit tight. They replayed the part where Bobo talked about dirty bombs and the matches he brought with him.

Howard said that was Bobo experiencing the end of the world. Gary said that hey need 15 seconds to get to Bobo down on the street. Howard said he's wearing a dunce cap and a sign saying he's dumb and that he believed the world was going to end. Bobo went to people on the street telling them how he thought the world was going to end. He was interviewing people asking if they thought the world was going to end too. A few people walked right by him. A couple of women said that they didn't think it was going to end.

Bobo said no one wanted to talk. Howard said it's a guy with a dunce cap on. Howard said he thinks he's had enough. Howard told the guys to just have him walk up and down the street and take the microphone away. Howard turned the microphone off. Howard said that was Bobo's end of the world. Howard said people were walking into traffic to get away from him. He said they should have him walk home like that. It should take him like 3 days.

Howard said that was the end of the world prank on Bobo. Robin said they fooled Sal that time with his announcement that he was leaving radio. Howard said they should replay that. He said they could do this bit with Bobo in two weeks and he'd fall for it again. He said this time they'll do it with an end game.

Tom Sizemore Visits. 04/17/13. 8:10am
After the break we heard a ''To Catch a Predator'' parody with Ronnie the Limo Driver as the predator. We also heard a Manly Tip from Richard Christy's Dad. Fred also played Boston's ''More Than a Feeling'' as they were coming back.

Howard came back and said that Tom Sizemore is there and the book he's promoting is called ''By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There: A Memoir.''

Howard said that Tom has been in some great movies and then he got involved in drugs and fucked everything up. Howard said it's good to see him. Tom came in and said he didn't just ruin his career. He said he destroyed it.

Tom said he's mad at Howard for being 59 and being so successful and rich. Howard asked Tom about why he went to prison. Tom said he went for being stupid. He said he had possession and revocation of probation. He said he's been sober for four years now though.

Tom told Howard that they found drugs in his garbage can and he was convicted on that. He said that he was doing drugs though. He said three of the wheels of the garbage can were off his property so they were able to use it for evidence. He said he went to jail for that. He said it probably was his but if it was on the street then it was nobody's. He said the one wheel was on his property so he was the one who was convicted.

Tom told Howard that the Heidi Fleiss thing was over turned. He said that he has a wonderful lawyer who called him about going to jail for something he didn't do. He said that was the Heidi thing. He said he hired a guy who worked for the CIA who was able to discern that the picture was moved in Photoshop. Tom said they told him that he could leave prison but he'd have to go in front of a judge the next day. Tom said he got to leave prison and he didn't choose to go back to prison to be vindicated in public. He said prison isn't any fun.

Howard asked Tom how much money he has left now and how much he spent. Tom said he has a couple of dollars. He said he won't tell him how much he has though. He said he's verging on doing okay financially.

Howard asked Tom if he likes Dr. Drew. Tom said he does. He said he went to Celebrity Rehab after calling Bob Forrest who used to be his drug dealer. He said that he had anything he needed back in the day. Howard said that must be weird to go back to your dealer when he's in rehab. Tom said that Bob used to steal their cars. He even stole his mother's car and went to jail for that. Tom said Bob has been sober since 1996. He said he was very close to him and Johnny Depp. Tom told a story about Bob getting sober and going to college and getting his license. He said that he's the best at what he does now. Tom said that Bob was the only one who thought something else was going on with Mindy McCreedy.

Howard said he was reading about how Robert De Niro went after him trying to get him to go to rehab. Howard said Tom hung from the banister from the second floor of a hotel room trying to hide from De Niro. Howard said that must make him feel like a true friend. Tom said he can't say enough nice things about De Niro. He said he could have been doing so many things other than tracking his ass down. Tom said he talks to his mother and he flew her in to help him out.

Howard asked if he's still in touch with De Niro. Tom said he's very busy but he did tell his son something about him recently. He said he could call him and get him on the phone. Howard said the fact that he cares so much is impressive. Howard said most people don't have time for nonsense. Tom said Hollywood is unlike any other place. He said he knows there are people who wouldn't help him out for any reason.

Tom said he went to Michael Mann's office one day to apologize to him for fucking up the TV show ''Robbery Homicide Division.'' He said that it was the Heidi thing that fucked all of that up. Tom said that it was her accusation that led to the show being canceled. He said that they tried to save the show but Michael Mann knew they couldn't do it.

Tom said he went to Michael's office after 3 years of trying to figure out how to reach out to him. Tom said he walked in and Michael asked him what he was doing there. He said it was the way he was smiling at him that felt like it was 8 or 9 years ago. Howard said Tom is a scary guy. He said he's intimidating. Tom said Howard is intimidating too. Howard said he's not like Tom is.

Tom said he remembers Howard being on WWWW in Detroit. He said he was in high school at the time. Tom said he remembers his mother telling him about this nut on WWWW.

Howard asked Tom if it's true that his mother is part black. Tom said he only dates black women. He said that's only part true.

Howard said Tom was fucking Elizabeth Hurley while she was dating Hugh Grant. Tom said that he was one of his heroes. He said he may not have pushed that if he knew that he existed. Tom said that was 1991. He said she was the most beautiful girl he's ever seen in his life. He said he looked at Wesley Snipes and told him he was going to go to jail for tax evasion some day. Howard asked if he stays in touch with him. Tom said he does. He said the feds are really tough on a guy like that. Tom said Wesley went to prison for 3 years even though he had the money to pay his taxes. He said he's the first one to go for that after bringing the money with him. He said his accountant is the one who was doing wrong. He said that actors are retarded.

Howard got back to Elizabeth Hurley. Howard said his book is fascinating. He said that Tom and Wesley argued over who was going to fuck her. Tom said he just told Wesley to leave her alone because he's black. Tom pulled out a cigarette so Howard asked him to please not smoke. Tom said he wasn't going to smoke. He sounded puzzled that Robin could see him pulling the cigarettes out too.

Howard asked Tom about fucking Elizabeth Hurley. Howard said he wrote this in his book. He said that he wrote that she danced on a coffee table for him. Tom said it was all very innocent. Howard asked Tom if he was misquoted in his book. Tom said it was all very innocent. Howard asked if he's being sued in this book. Tom said he's not. Howard said he wrote about Juliette Lewis in the book too. Tom said he's going to kill Howard. Howard said this is all in the book. Tom was making it sound like he didn't know about some of this stuff.

Howard asked if he still has a Heidi tattoo on his dick. Tom said he does not. Howard said he knows someone who blew him who says he does. Tom asked who that was. Howard didn't say.

Howard asked Tom if he's got anyone in his life. Tom said he's trying to get his life straight. Howard asked if he'd like to fuck Jenny McCarthy. Tom said he would not. He said she's white. Howard said he must know who she is. Tom said she's old like he is and he doesn't want to date anyone that old.

Howard asked Tom more about Elizabeth Hurley and what went on with her. Howard said she was fucking Tom while Hugh was fucking that prostitute. Tom said that he didn't want to drag them into this. Howard said he wrote about it in the book. Tom said he did but just briefly. Tom said he didn't out anything in the book. Howard said he did out Juliette Lewis. Howard said he wrote about her in the book. Tom told him to stop it. Tom said the book is about a lot of things and not just those few things.

Howard said Robert Downey Jr. introduced him to cocaine. Tom said he never said that. He said he was the one who is responsible for what goes into himself. He said no one forced him to do it. Tom said he did these things to himself.

Howard said Tom says that Juliette Lewis got him back into heroin. Tom said he didn't say that. He said all he said was that when he met her... then he said he didn't read the book. He said he was 87 days sober and he went to the set of Natural Born Killers and he was doing a scene where he was doing coke and drinking. He said he asked the prop master if he could get him the real thing. He said he had to clear it with the director so he put his own coke down and did it himself. Tom said he met Miss Lewis the next day. He said she was 19 years old at the time. He said she was very gifted and maybe the best 19 year old actress that ever lived. Howard said she had a killer body. Tom said she was like an idiot savant. Howard said Tom was 32 and she was 19 and they made love. Tom said he doesn't think that he's made love to anyone but himself.

Howard asked if he was in love with her. Tom said he doesn't think so. He said it was a set romance that spilled over a little bit. Tom said he met his future wife during that movie.

Howard asked Tom what he thinks his problems are. Tom said that his father walked out on them. He said they were like the Brady Bunch and he didn't know that his dad was so unhappy. Howard asked if he thinks that's why he did drugs. Tom said he has no one to blame other than himself. Tom said his dad left when he was 14. He said that he stayed in touch but he started another family. He said his mother was 32 years old and the most lovely woman. He said that it really hurt her. Tom said his father said that he wasn't leaving him, he was leaving his mom. He said he didn't know how he could leave his kids like that but he can see why he had to leave a woman he didn't love. He said his mother remarried eventually. He said his dad remarried and re-divorced too.

Howard asked Tom about going to Brad Pitt and saying that it was okay to fuck Juliette Lewis. Tom said that it was a metaphor and not a literal thing. Howard said he says that Juliette had porn playing in her house all the time. Tom said she liked the music. Howard asked if that freaked him out. Tom said that he was there for 4 months in one room. He said she didn't care that the house was huge. She just stayed in one room. He said she got sober right after that and she's been sober since like 1994 or 95.

Howard said Tom had Edie Falco in his book as someone he fucked. Tom lived with her for a while too. Howard said that Tom must be tough to live with. Tom said Howard is a tough interview.

Howard asked Tom if he can't stay faithful. Tom said no one is faithful. Howard said he is. He said that he has never cheated on his wife. He said he didn't cheat on his first wife either. Tom said that's unusual. He said he knows a lot of guys who aren't faithful. Tom said he didn't cheat on his wife. He said that marriage lasted 3 years and 3 months.

Howard asked Tom if his kids get along with him. Tom said he does. He said he's a natural as a dad. He said he missed the first 3 or 4 years of their lives because he was in prison. Tom said his manager told him he had to build a bridge back to his life. He said he had to do it but he said he couldn't do it. Tom said he kind of forced him to do it. He said he hadn't been around them sober for a long time. He said they were 6 at the time he saw them again. He said they knew him since he had seen them at other times.

Howard asked Tom if he's on good terms with the mother of his kids. Tom said he'd rather not talk about that. He said he doesn't want to talk about the mother of his kids. He said the kids came over and he wanted to do things with them. He said he wanted to play ball and all of that. Howard asked if he gets to visit the kids. Tom said they're in a precarious spot right now. He said he and the kids love each other very much. He said he can see them whenever he wants. Tom said he'd rather not get into that.

Tom said his kids are Jagger and Jayden. He said that one of his sons put his arms around his leg and said ''I knew you'd come home.'' He said that was one of the best moments in his life. He said that he didn't mean to have those kids because he didn't know the woman very well. He said this wasn't his wife. Tom said he wishes that she was his wife.

Howard asked if he thinks that drugs should be legalized. Tom said no. He said that they do nothing but destroy people's lives. He said Meth is the worst thing out there. He said it's made out of everything that can kill you. He said it has battery acid in it. Tom said he didn't now shit about the drug the first time he took it.

Howard asked Tom if he misses taking drugs. Tom said he's not over it and he has his moments. He said he likes waking up sober. He said it takes a long time to get that shit out of your system. He said the Meth is like shards of glass coming out of your skin. He said people will say it's the worst withdrawal.

Howard asked Tom who is better in bed, Elizabeth or Juliette. Tom said he doesn't want to talk about that. Howard asked who the best pussy is that he's had. Tom said he doesn't like talking like that. Howard asked who the greatest woman is in bed. Tom said Monique Allen. Howard said he wants a real name. Howard said Juliette must be the wildest. Tom said Monique is the wildest. He said she's just a civilian though. Howard said they'll find out more about her.

Howard said Tom doesn't like Marc Anthony and he had to work with him on ''Bringing Out The Dead.'' Tom said that the guy thinks that he's Frank Sinatra and he's not. Tom said the guy is 5'7'' and 109 pounds and he's ugly. He said he's a half assed singer too. He said he doesn't have a nice thing to say about him at all. Tom said he did a scene with him and he was a non-talented asshole. Tom told him to bring his posse to his apartment and they'll fight it out. Tom said he told the little twerp what he thought of him on the set. He said it was one of the worst times he's ever had on the set of a movie. He said he had to apologize to Martin Scorsese. He said he got into a fight with the guy and he should have just let it go. Howard asked when that was. Tom said it was in 1999.

Howard asked Tom about how he left it with Marc Anthony after that. Tom said the guy is a bad singer and a bad actor. He said he just had to beat him with a baseball bat at the end of the movie. He said that was the greatest part of the whole thing.

Howard said Tom is such a terrifying type of individual. Tom said he's going to walk off this show if he keeps saying that.

Howard said that Tom auditioned for Reservoir Dogs 8 times. He didn't get the part. Howard said that has to be the worst for a drug addict. Tom said that you just have to do what you have to do. Tom said he loves acting and he would never want to do anything else. Tom said that it's not easy and it hasn't gotten any easier. He said he's done things well and he's made some fans.

Howard said Robert Downey Jr. has turned things around. He said if he can do that then Tom can. Tom said he's the greatest actor of his generation.

Howard asked if Juliette Lewis gives head. Tom changed the subject. Howard asked Tom about thinking about turning Jewish. Tom said he was dating a Jewish woman and he went to Hebrew school for a few months. He said he was taught how to cant. He said that he came from Detroit and he didn't know much about New York. He said that New York is full of so many different ethnicities.

Howard told Tom that he's Jewish but he doesn't practice it. Tom said what he likes about the Jews is that they stick together. Howard said that's not really true. Howard said he was on his own.

Howard asked about getting into a fight with Lawrence Fishburn for using the N-word. Tom said he actually calmed him down. Howard said he used the N-word though, right. Tom said he said ''nigga'' and not with the ''er.'' Tom said Fishburn calmed him down. He said he just said he was sorry and Fishburn told him to get in a cab and go home.

Howard said Tom's father told him that acting is sissy work. Tom said that he didn't really say that. He said his dad said that he had to be shitting him thinking that he'd be on TV some day. Howard said being vicious like that isn't cool. He said that he was jealous of his son. Tom said that was his father. Howard said a father can be jealous of his son. Tom said he would like to talk his kids out of being actors. He said he'd rather have them be doctors or lawyers.

Howard asked Tom if he knew Mindy McCreedy. Tom said he didn't know her very well. He said he got to know Carrie Ann. He said that she got sober and had a baby. He said that the people you think won't get sober actually do get sober. Tom said that Dr. Drew gives you the 12 steps and that's that. He said that you do the foot work and work the steps.

Howard asked Tom if they're going to see him in any movies. Tom said Howard is an asshole. He said he keeps cutting him off. Howard said he has to get something going. Tom said he did Hawaii 5-0 last year. He said he had fun with that.

Howard gave Tom a plug for his book ''By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There: A Memoir'' and then took some calls. The first caller said he loves Tom. He said he was great in Heat. Tom said that was probably the best movie he's been in. The caller also said ''fuck that Marc Anthony guy.'' Tom seemed to like that.

Howard asked Tom about his parents visiting him in prison. Tom said he didn't want them doing that. Howard asked who did. Tom said Monique Allen did.

Howard told Tom to read his book. He said he says a lot of shit in there. Howard said he packed it full of revelations. Tom said it's not just about addiction. He said there is a lot in there. Tom said he lived in Detroit and a bad area there when he was a kid. Tom told Howard about how bad it was. Tom said that it didn't seem like there was anywhere to go other than GM or join a gang.

Howard said he could talk to Tom all day but he has to take a break. Tom said he had a dream to be an actor and that's what the book is about. He said he did this thing and achieved it and then he fucked it all up with drugs. Tom said he came to his senses. He said he wants a second shot and he thinks he's getting some of that. Howard said he has to audition now. He said there was a time when he didn't. Tom said he did this all to himself so he's not blaming anyone else for it. Howard said JJ Abrams listens to the show so maybe he can help him get in the new Star Wars or something. Howard said that he'll go talk to JJ about that. Tom told Howard to tell him he wants to be in it. Howard said he's going to do that for him. Tom said he would make Howard very proud if he did it. Howard told JJ to listen to this and give him a shot.

Howard took a call from Marc Anthony (Sal in the back office) who was doing a lame accent. Howard hung up on him a few seconds after picking up.

Tom said that he would appreciate Howard talking to JJ about the Star Wars thing. Howard said he will do that. Howard gave Tom some more plugs and mentioned that he died at one point and this woman saved him. Tom told Howard to stop giving away the stuff in the book. He said that people have to read it. Howard talked to him a little more about that woman who saved him. Howard asked if he's getting laid. Tom said he has his kids and he doesn't have time for that other bullshit. Howard said that's the right answer. Tom said he tried a couple of years ago but his manager told him he didn't have the time or money to be messing around with that stuff.

Howard said he loves Tom for coming in. Tom said he thinks that Howard is the most talented guy he's ever known. He said he's a national institution and he likes being on his show. Howard said he hopes the book is a great success but no one reads it. He said you should buy the book but not read any of it. Tom said that would be perfect. Tom told Robin she looks wonderful. Robin said he does too. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.

Robin's News. 07/22/08. 10:05am
Fred played a song parody for Robin that Howard had never heard before. It was ''Robin Please Let Me Use My Tongue.'' Howard had Robin start her news after that. Robin started off with a story where she asked how you tell a loved one that they're overweight. Howard gave his thoughts on that and then Robin said that he never confronted her about being overweight. Howard said that he was afraid to say anything to her. He said that he should have gone to her and asked what was going on. He said he misses out on a lot of those moments in his life to be closer to someone.

Robin said that Fred was the one guy who did say something to her and he was very mean about it. She said that Howard and Fred were fighting about something and when she chimed in Fred told her that she just gets fatter and fatter every year. Artie said he remembered that and it was like Robin shoved Fred and he shot her with a bazooka.

Artie said that he thinks that Bob Levy during the World's Meanest Listener contest going off on her being fat. He told her she looked like Warren Sapp the football player.

The guys spent a few minutes talking about how they could have spoken to Robin about her weight. Howard said that a friend doesn't just tell them that they're a fatso and walk away. They should sit down and talk to them about their weight. Artie said that a real friend wouldn't play song parodies and make fun of them every day about how much they're eating. He was being sarcastic and making fun of the way Howard goofs on him all the time.

Robin read the article that she had about this subject and said that they say that you should never do it in front of an audience, just like Fred did. Fred said that he didn't get the memo on that.

In the next clip Robin talked about who should be saved in a pandemic. Here's my rundown from that day:

Robin's News. 05/05/08. 10:00am
Howard had Robin start her news after they played a new theme song for her. She started off with a story about Barbara Walters' new book. That led to the guys spending a few minutes talking about Barbara and how she had slept with a black man at one point in her life. Howard thought it was a big deal but Robin didn't think it was that big of a deal.

Robin read another story about who should be allowed to live in a pandemic. Howard ran down his list of people he thinks should be allowed to die. He said that all of the people who have the oil should be allowed to die. The people without the oil should be allowed to live. They went through some of the people there at the station and said that they'd probably have to let the good looking guys die. That way the ugly guys would have a chance with the hot chicks that were left alive.

Robin went through the story about the pandemic thing and who will not get a vaccine or treatment for the illness. It would include people over 85, severely burned patients over 60, those with chronic diseases and a few other groups. All of them will basically be left to die.

In the next clip Robin read a story about a former Miss USA who got into porn. Here's my rundown from a ''And That's What's Happening'' special replay in 2011:

ATWH: Amy Fisher Porn. 10/06/11. 8:05am
Next up on ''And That's What's Happening'' they played a clip where Robin was reading about the Miss USA and Miss America pageants. Robin said they're all about the girls looking good in bathing suits. Robin said a former Miss USA pageant winner has become a porn star. Howard said he saw that Amy Fisher is doing porn too. Robin said they should get this woman in there. Howard said he's okay with that.

Gary came in and said that she actually does want to do the show. Gary said Amy Fisher is another story. He said that her husband doesn't want to talk about anything in the past. He said the guy was trying to convince him that there's a whole new audience for her now. Gary said he heard that her new movie might be even creepier than her first. Howard told Fred to play some clips from her first porn with her husband.

Howard and the guys talked about how she had kind of faded away after getting out of jail. Now she's coming out and doing porn. Howard said he's not sure who is buying Amy Fisher porn. Gary said it's apparently a young generation who knows her as a porn star. Fred found the clips from her first porno and played those. Howard said he was going to throw up hearing her husband talking to her the way he was.

Howard said the problem is the husband. He ruins it. Howard said the guy is talking about wanting to examine her pussy and he sounds like Elmer Fudd. Howard said it kind of turns him on when Amy is saying ''fuck me'' and things like that. Then the husband says ''clit'' and it ruins it. Howard did his impression of the husband, Lou, and did it as Elmer Fudd. Howard threw in some Ted Kennedy in there too.

Robin read about the new Amy Fisher porn and how it will be girl on girl. Robin said the husband doesn't want her doing porn with other men. Robin mentioned Lou Bellera's name and Artie said that makes him embarrassed to be Italian.

Fred played more of the porn and there were some odd sounds in the background. Artie said just imagine that this is the second most embarrassing thing that you're kid has done. Howard said they have to get that guy Lou in there. He said forget about Amy, he has to ask Lou what's going on in his head sexually.

Howard had Fred play more of the Amy porn. She said she wanted a taste of her daddy's cum and Robin almost threw up. Howard said Robin almost tasted her daddy's cum. Robin said they never even got close to doing that. Artie was coming up with more lines for Lou to say and wondered what the fuck he's doing. Howard said whenever he tries to talk dirty to Beth she tells him to shut up. Now he sees why.

Howard said he wants more tape of the examination part. He did his Elmer Fudd again and goofed on what Lou was saying in the porno. Fred did his Fudd impression too and he had Artie cracking up.

In the next clip Robin read a story about Michael Irvan getting into trouble and being on probation. Howard said he claims he wasn't even at the guy's house but then they say there is a videotape showing he was there. Robin said that they say you can hear him clearly on the tape even though he says he wasn't there. Robin said they're not saying what is on the tape. Howard said he heard they had to dust the woman's areolas for fingerprints. Howard said these guys are football players and they do coke. He said if she had a story about them not doing coke then he'd be surprised. Howard said these guys can get any women they want. He said this is just stupidity. Howard said that there was a story about a Mets pitcher who got into trouble. He said he can't remember the details of that though.

In the next clip Robin read a story about a family who is suing a funeral home. Robin said the person died and the funeral home took the body to clean it up and prepare it. Robin said that this family sent their loved one to this funeral home and they put the body in a sealed casket. The funeral home people told the family not to open it. Robin said they opened the casket and their 78 year old aunt was in a body bag and not cleaned. Robin said she was also damp. Robin said she had blood on her face and her body was never cleaned. They asked why she was soggy and they had sprayed her with a chemical disinfectant to keep the smell down. Howard said that's pretty low. He said when he dies he doesn't want anyone touching his body. Howard said you never donate your body to science. He said they take the bodies and people would laugh at them. He said he heard stories about people making fun in medical school. Howard said the best thing you can do is have someone look at your body when you're dead. He said that's why Jews do things the way they do. He said they get you right into the ground.

Today's special was over around 10:25am.

Jon asked Richard if he thought Bobo would come there and sacrifice his family. Richard said he is a huge fan and he did think he'd come in. He said he seems pretty gullible so he'd fall for it.

Benjy asked if they were slightly scared of the end of the world. Sal said he would have been fine alone but he was with Bobo. Richard said it would have been great if it really did end and Sal was hugging Bobo.

Sal said they had Brian Phelan in the studio and they had him shaking the couch and had people dropping stuff from the ceiling in other parts of the building. He said they spent the day before rehearsing the whole thing.

Sal said the look on Bobo's face was great when the initial thing started. He said it just so great. He said it was priceless.

Jon said Bobo calls himself an Extreme Fan and it's hard to find a more passionate fan than Bobo. He said he wonders is Mariann would put Howard before her family. Jon said he doesn't think so. Richard and Sal didn't think so either. Richard said Bobo believed it was the last day on earth. Benjy said that you're never quite sure so he thinks Mariann would do it.

Sal said he could see Mariann doing it under certain circumstances. He said Bobo came to the studio and Howard wasn't even there. Sal said he was the only one there that day.

Jon said Sal is very spiritual and he wondered if he believes in that stuff. Sal said he doesn't. He said only God knows in his opinion. He said every time the world is supposed to end it never does. He said you'd think they'd realize that it's not really happening.

Richard said they went down to Times Square once and interviewed a guy who had quit his job because he thought the world was ending. He said he quit his job and really thought that it was the end of the world. Sal said he thinks people who believe in that are really miserable in life. He said they want it to end. He said he thinks it's a copy out.

Benjy asked if Sal believes that God can give people messages. Sal said in certain cases he does. Jon asked under what cases he does that. Sal said it's when you can tune into god and get the answers you need to make your life better. Jon asked what he means and how he communicates those answers. Sal said in some cases you might pray. He said you can look for those answers. Jon asked how you know he's answering. Sal said with him it just comes to him. He said you just speak to yourself. He said the thoughts manifest in your mind. He said it's in your own voice.

Jon said he knows some people believe and you see a sign. Sal said the obvious sign thing he doesn't believe. He said that some people see a dime that their grandmother left for them. He said having a check in the mail to pay off your mortgage is his sign. He said that he doesn't buy the generalized signs thing. He said if you believe in God and you are looking for answers you can tap into that and there's nothing wrong with that. Richard asked Sal if he has ever seen a sign from god. Sal said he never has.

Benjy asked Sal if he ever felt guilty watching porn and things. Sal said he never did. He figured it was just Christian guilt. He said he has two hands so why not go at it? He said God put the semen in his nuts and the two hands on his arms so why not go at it.

Jon Leiberman was in the studio and asked if it's okay to pick up a knife and stab someone if God gave you the hands and knife. Sal said that's wrong and you know it so that's not okay to do.

Jon asked Sal if he can justify anything since God gave it all to him. Sal said he believes in common sense. He said you can't kill someone or insult someone or steal. He said that you can't cheat on someone. He said that's all common sense. He said you should know that. Jon said Sal puts people down all the time. Sal said he does that for comedic purposes. Benjy asked if he ever feels he's doing wrong. Sal said he does. He said he was insulting Jason about his weight once. He said he told Jason he was just joking around. He said Jason told him to just be real and stick to his guns or don't do it at all. Sal said he felt bad and he also felt good. He said he had to decide to pick and choose when to do it.

Richard said that Sal thought that his grandmother was watching down on him. Sal said he did. He said that's why he doesn't like the Teresa Caputo readings. Jon asked how he blocks that out when he's doing things that he'd rather not have her see. Sal said he blocks it out. He said you have to. Sal said afterwards he'll think about it and think that they'll just talk about it when he gets there. Sal said she may pop into his head after doing it but he'll just think that he'll talk to her later. Sal said he's doing something in private so she shouldn't be watching.

Jon and Benjy were wondering if god gets her to watch something else when he's jerking off to piss porn. Sal said his point is that god doesn't focus on those parts of your life. He said he focuses on the more positive things like this show right now. He said they're making people laugh.

Richard asked if he believes in the devil. Sal said no. He said that the devil punishes bad people so how bad could he be? He said if you think about it he punishes good people and not bad people. He said if someone hurt his kids he'd want that person to be hurt. Jon asked if he punishes bad people then what does he think is so bad about the devil. Sal said he doesn't believe in hell or the devil. He said if you look at it though he's the gatekeeper of the pit of fire. He said he's almost like God's right hand man who takes care of the bad people.

Leiberman said he has done a lot of thinking about the structure. Sal said he thinks that the whole thing is ridiculous with the devil. He said he doesn't think the devil exists. He said you create your own devil. He said when you feel awful about something that's the devil.

Sal said that he thinks about these people who kill other people. He said he's not sure where it comes from. He said it must be some sort of mental issue. He said people who end up that way there must be some underlying thing. He said it's like when you torture a dog. He said these kids must be tortured like dogs but he's not even sure about that.

Jon took a call from a guy who said he's confused with Sal's philosophy. He said he thinks the Devil goes after the bad people but he already has them. He said he tries to convert the good people to be bad. Sal said what he's saying is that the devil punishes the bad people. The caller said he's wrong. He said he tempts the good people to be bad. He said he doesn't punish the bad people. He said the punishment is being in hell when the rest of your loved ones are somewhere else. Richard said he thinks you should be strong and just shout at the devil.

Richard said Jon Hein thinks that masturbation is evil. Jon said he does not. He said that he's being punished by this whole conversation. He said it was time to take a break. They went to break a short time later.

Jon said one day Howard is going to stop doing this. He wondered how he's going to get along. Sal said forget Bobo, how are they going to get along? Leiberman said he thinks that Bobo will dedicate his life to something else. He said he thinks he could start a podcast about Howard's show and talk about that every day. He said he will take that energy and direct it somewhere else.

Benjy said he was shocked that Bobo sold the tickle chair. Leiberman said he needed the money and he rationalizes it by having so many other things from the show.

Shuli said he thinks that Bobo is on another level when it comes to the show. He said he doesn't think it will end well when Howard retires. He said his main goal before that prank was to keep his family alive and save from the apocalypse. He said he left them and came to record a special for the show. Leiberman said there was a lot of tension at home over that. Jon said that's what he heard too. Benjy said in the last week of the show they should have a bunch of assisted suicides.

Sal said that Bobo had a police scanner and he was worried about the end of the world. He said if it's the end of the world then who are you going to scan? Leiberman said that is Bobo 100 percent. Sal said he thinks the problem the fans have with him is that he loves every single thing about the show. He said he never talks about the things he doesn't like. He said that's a little odd. Shuli said that's an ass kisser. Sal agreed. Jon said he's just not that type of guy.

Benjy asked if the news has ever investigated if Bobo had something like that before the Howard Stern Show. Leiberman said that's a really good question. He said they'll have to look into that.

Benjy had a friend who did it in front of him too around that age. He asked Richard if his friend ejaculated. Richard said he would. He said he had a spot on his carpet that he'd do it on every time. Shuli asked if there were parents in this person's life. Richard said they didn't care.

Jon asked Sal where he's done it. Sal said that he did it in a tanning bed. Jon said there has to be other places. Sal said he's done it while driving. He said it's dangerous doing that. He said he was taking care of business and you don't think about the aftermath. He said he had it on his hand and there was nothing to clean up with. He said he picked up half his shirt to wipe it off. Then it made little tapioca balls all over his steering wheel. He said it was horrible and disgusting. He asked people to not jerk off while driving. Jo asked why he did it in the car. Sal said he was turned on by a bartender.

Sal asked if it's strange to jerk off at your grandmother's house while you're there with your mom and aunt. He said it was in a bathroom though. Benjy said the strange part is letting them know what you're going to do. Sal said he didn't do that. He said he never did it in any strange places.

Jon asked Benjy. Benjy said he did it at K-Rock in front of Tom C. Benjy asked Richard if his friend kept jerking off in front of him. Richard said it was for a couple of years and then it stopped. He said one time they were at his mom's house and he was taking a bath and the door burst open and he ejaculated into the toilet next to where he was bathing. He said he threatened to do it into the bath water and he said he'd beat the shit out of him. He said he did it into the toilet instead.

Jon said he has no idea how they got to this point. He said he's going to take a break and talk more about this.

Sal said he stopped doing it around that time. He said even when he took a dump he'd leave the door open so he wouldn't think he was jerking off.

Jon asked Richard about taking baths at other people's houses. Richard said he would stay at that guy's house and he'd take a bath there. Benjy asked if he took them with the other kid. Richard said they did. They would fart in the tub and bite the bubbles. Richard said they used to have a contest to see who could bite each other's fart bubbles. He said they were 10 or 11 around that time. He said it went until junior high. He said they're still close friends.

Benjy said he never did that but there's nothing wrong with that. He asked if that was a typical thing that they would do. Richard said that it was just with that one kid. He said his family was into taking baths. Jon asked if he did anything that he thought was crazy. Richard said he thinks that guy is the guy who is his biggest comedic influence. Sal said this is the guy who leaves voice mails. Richard said he is and he still leaves crazy voice mails.

Jon said when Richard was growing up it might have been more easily accepted. Shuli said he thinks it's where he lived. He said everyone kind of knew each other. They lived in a small town. Sal said it was more like family. Shuli said it should be if you're taking a bath together.

Jon asked if the kid ever started jerking off while they were in the tub together. Richard said he never did. He said he thinks he would have stopped him if he did.

Jon took a call from a guy who said Jon is a brilliant broadcaster. He said he doesn't judge or degrade them for this stuff. He said they say the wackiest shit and he keeps it going. He said it always turns into Richard taking baths. He said he's having a half hour conversation with maniacs. He said he just wanted to compliment Jon on that.

Jon said if you worked with them every day it's a pleasure hearing these stories. He said you add those up and that's what you get on the radio. He said he's just letting them say what they want to say.

Sal asked if he needs help. He said he doesn't think this is all that crazy. Sal said he's sure that people have done this and just don't talk about it. He said they probably won't admit it. Richard said he did it once and he rubbed through his pants so the mess didn't get on his steering wheel. He said it was still dangerous though.

Shuli said it's not that maniacal. He said it is dangerous to jerk off in your car though. Jon said these guys just come out and say it.

Jon said the strangest place he ever did it was in a 300ZX. He said he's going to leave it at that. Jon asked Shuli what he had coming up in today's Howard 100 news. Shuli ran down a few stories they had coming up. Jon ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:20am.

No FCC Fines For Fingering Segment? 02/06/07. 6:00am
Howard started off the show talking about how people are always asking him if the two satellite radio companies are getting together. He tells them he doesn't know because he really doesn't want to know what kind of business deals are going on behind the scenes there.

Howard said Gary played him some audio of one of the urban stations in New York City and one of the guys gets pretty graphic on the station. He thinks that because they're an urban station, the FCC doesn't bother them. He said they have a guest on the show by the name of The Game who talks about fingering Vita Guerra and gets very graphic. Artie said he calls it her ''onion.''

Howard played the audio clip where the guy is talking about the fingering thing. Howard said he knows he'd get fined if he talked about that when he was on terrestrial radio. He said it was a good interview, but they seem to be getting away with stuff that he never could. Howard said he wasn't really following the story very well and said he needs an interpreter to follow along. Artie was able to understand that the guy had gone to a party. That was about it.

Howard continued to play the tape and we hear him talking about fingering the chick. He said he finger-banged her while they were at this party. He was talking about using the ''two finger split'' and then putting in the third finger on that little ball. Then he went in the back with his other hand and she started to wiggle around. He said he sniffed his fingers both times and it was fresh each time. He said he never smashed it but he did finger bang it.

Howard said he feels bad for that chick. Robin said that Tom (Chiusano) would have ripped them off the air if they had a conversation like that back at K-Rock. Robin said they could report them to the FCC if they wanted. Howard said he's not into that but there were times in the past when they could have done that. He said he had people taping his show 24/7 when he was on terrestrial radio just so they could turn him in.

Artie asked if they had a picture of that chick because he'd like to see her. Howard said she's not that hot and she's known for having one of those huge asses like J-Lo. He doesn't find that hot at all. He likes to see an ass that's in proportion. Artie said he likes some meat on a chick's ass himself. Howard said he knows what that guy was talking about when he was saying he puts his finger on the little ball. He joked that he thought it was the uvula.

Their First Sex Experiences. 02/06/07. 6:10am
Artie talked about how great it was the first time he had a part of his body inside a woman's vagina. That led to Howard talking about how great that feeling is too. He was talking about the first time he got anything off a girl and how that was when he was 16 and almost 17 years old. He said he got his first finger in there the same time he got his first lay. When he was 14 or so, he had a friend's brother come over to him and let him smell his finger after he had fingered a chick. He said he really didn't smell anything at the time but it was still cool to think that they had. Artie said they were probably smelling the inside of his baseball mitt.

Howard took a call from a woman who told him that ''a monkey'' is slang for pussy so in that tape they were listening to, that's what they were referring to. The woman was Australian so the guys found it kind of funny that she knew what it meant while they didn't.

Artie said he knows guys who started fucking at the age of 14 and he didn't get anything until he was about 17. He was really bad with the girls so it took him a while. Howard said he was so afraid he was never going to get a chick. Artie was the same way. Howard has never gone to a whore though. Artie said he didn't do that until he was about 24 but he did do something at a bachelor party when he was 18.

Artie said his uncle set him up with a girl when he was about 11. He took this 12 year old girl out to an amusement park and when they got back, his uncle asked him if he had banged her. Artie could barely speak to her. Artie said he was only 11 years old and they were telling him that they were banging chicks when they were his age.

Howard said he knew a kid who was banging this really hot girl when he was like 15. He said he had her during one of those Super-Jew holidays ''Sukos.'' He'd take her into this Suki thing that was in their back yard and doing her in there. Howard said the kid must have been about 15 and he was way ahead of anyone he knew. He said that made him go into a frenzy to try and get laid. He and his friend Lew were trying to get laid and it was like a competition. Howard got bummed out after he found out that Lew had gotten laid one night. Howard and Lew went to get some rubbers one night and his friend Lew wasn't afraid to ask for some Trojans. Howard said he still doesn't like doing that so he has his assistant Laura buy them for him.

Artie said that he graduated high school when he was still 17 and he didn't get laid until 8 days before his 18th birthday. Artie said if you don't get any chicks until later in life, you feel you have to lie to future girlfriends. Howard said the girl who took his virginity told him she didn't want to be stuck in his head for the rest of his life and didn't want to take the virginity. Howard said that was great and then he got another chick. It was great that it was just over. He said it wasn't great sex.

Artie said he got laid in the back of his 74 Matador. it was very awkward but he got it done. He told another story about another comedian who picked up a chick at a comedy show. He said the guy wanted to do this chick. He said he didn't want to stick around after she was so drunk that she threw up. Artie said the guy swears he didn't fuck her but he's pretty sure he did.

Gary came in and told a story about how quick he finished the first time he had sex. He said he had no idea how fast it was going to happen at the time. Howard took a call from Hook Nose Mike who asked Howard for more details about that first experience. Howard said he had no idea what he was doing and that's why he wished that there were sex movies he could have watched. Mike also asked Robin when she lost her virginity. Robin said she was 19. That led to them asking when she had anal for the first time. She said it was probably when she was about 26... and 27 when she had it last.

Howard took another call from a guy who said he had to walk through like 4 feet of snow to get laid for the first time. He said they even had to go out of town to get rubbers.

Howard Passes On Inside The Actors Studio. 02/06/07. 6:30am
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was listening to the Inside the Porn Actors Studio show last night. He said it was very funny to hear Richard asking questions with the porn star who was on. Howard said that chick was Hillary Scott. He also said he's been asked to do Inside the Actors Studio so he's thinking that he might want to do it. Howard said he thought it was an honor to be asked to do it but his agent doesn't like the show. His agent gets bored with it and he turned down the offer for him. Howard said he still thinks it's an honor to be asked to do the show. Howard said he's met James Lipton and he's actually a nice guy. He wouldn't go out to get a beer with but he does seem nice.

Howard said he's still surprised that the finger banging clip didn't get more notice. Gary said the show airs on Sunday night from 7 to midnight so maybe it was considered in safe harbor. He said that when Adam Carolla had his sex show, they got away with stuff because they ran their show after 10pm. He said the FCC is under some grand illusion that kids don't listen at that time of night. He pointed out that kids can get a lot more crap on the internet than they can on radio. JD came in and said that show is actually on during the week, not on Sunday night.

Howard and Artie talked about some of the other girls they've been with in their sex lives. That led to Howard saying that Richard Christy has been with a black chick. Richard said that chick actually puked all over him when he finished in her mouth. He said he exploded in her mouth right away and she puked on him.

Howard said he had some audio of Ali G on Inside the Actors Studio. He played some clips from that show where Ali G asked James Lipton some questions. It turns out it was Ali G interviewing James Lipton which isn't what Howard expected after reading it on his computer. He thought Ali G was on Inside the Actors Studio. It was a funny interview though.

Gary Falling Asleep Parodies, Interviews And Discussions. 06/21/10. 6:35am
Howard said Sal and Richard were up working on some stuff about Gary after they found out he fell asleep on the job. Howard said Gary had eaten like 7 black and white cookies. That led to Sal and Richard writing song parodies for him. Howard said they had alarm clocks for Gary and a lullaby for him. Howard said they went out on the street asking people how they felt about it and people were saying he's a jerk and he should be fired.

Little Mikey wrote a song parody about Gary's sleeping too. Howard played some of that and then some more of Sal and Richard's interviews about Gary falling asleep. There were many people who thought that Gary should have been fired. Howard said that Gary continues to be mad at Scott DePace over this. Howard said there are people who think that he should be the one to blame. Howard said he takes some of the responsibility for that. He said that he is the one who played it on the air.

Gary said his point is that it never should have gotten to Howard. Howard said he's right about that. He said that Doug and Scott came to him and told him about it and he had to play it. Howard said Gary is right about Scott though. He never admits he's wrong. He said he started blaming Jon Hein during the Wrap Up Show.

Scott came in and Howard told him he's kind of a creep. He played a Wrap Up Show clip where Scott was telling Gary that Jon and Will came back and didn't tell him not to play it for Howard.

Howard asked Scotty why he's like that. Scott said he was just pointing out what he saw. Howard said it's really his own fault for playing it. He said that he immediately accepted the tape when Scott and Doug brought it to him. Scott said this was Doug's idea in the first place. He said Doug was the one who put the tape in and recorded it. Howard said that he took responsibility for this and that's what Scott should be doing.

Howard told Scott to stop blaming other people and throwing them under the bus. He said he should just accept responsibility. Howard said he's not sure why Gary is so bummed about some of the stuff Scott was swaying. Gary said Scott was saying that he wouldn't have done it if he knew he was going to take all of the blame.

Gary said the more time he spends with Scott the less excuses he's finding for why he is the way he is. Scott said that he did betray Gary but he had plenty of times when he defended Jason when he was saying stuff about him. Gary said Scott can't be trusted. He's a lying cheat and he can't be trusted. Scott said that they've done hidden camera stuff before. Gary said he can't trust Scott and that's the end of it.

Howard told Scott that his problem is that he says ''but'' when he's accepting responsibility. Scott said that this was Doug's fault too. Doug got on the mic and told him to just accept responsibility. Gary came into the studio and said that Scott lacks any integrity. He said they sat down and had a conversation when they first started taping there. He said they talked about never using any tape from his isolated camera for any reason. Scott said it was Doug's idea.

Scott said he's sorry but Gary said he doesn't believe it and he doesn't care anymore. He said Scott is inhuman and he doesn't mean it.

Scott said that Gary should stop bringing this up if he's over it. Gary said that he didn't bring it up. Brian Phelan brought i up when he asked if they should turn the camera on. Gary said that Scott keeps saying ''but'' when he's apologizing. Scott said he said he betrayed Gary and he's not sure what else he's supposed to say.

Scott said he did betray Gary. Then he said that Doug also betrayed him. He threw Will Murray and Jon Hein into that mix too. He said they all saw the tape and they didn't try to stop him. Gary said that Scott is all about himself and it's that way in his own life and at work. Scott said he doesn't know anything about his personal life.

Gary said that Scott is selfish and he's sure that he's not the only one who has said that to him. Howard took a call from a guy who asked why Gary is mad at Scott when Gary is the one who fell asleep. Gary said he called Howard and apologized for falling asleep at work. That's not something that happens to him at work. Gary said he felt really bad about it. He didn't try to blame anyone else for it when he spoke to Howard. He told Scott that's how you take blame.

Scott said he apologized to Gary off the air. Gary said he did but then he went on the Wrap Up Show and gave all of those excuses.

Scott said this is bullshit. He said he left work early the week before and it was all approved by Doug but they thew him under the bus anyway. Gary said that they weren't trying to throw him under the bus. Gary said he didn't go and tell Howard or anything when he found out he left a day early for vacation. Gary said he threw him under the bus after Scott pulled out that tape of him. He said Scott is dumb.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Gary has ever fallen asleep during a Mets game. Howard said Gary hasn't fallen asleep before. He said this was just a one time thing. The caller said that Gary was probably asleep the day he was up there for his tour. He said he signed his name on a ball for him and he left out the R in Gary so it reads ''Baba Booey, Gay Dell'Abate.''

Howard said that Scott isn't coming off well in this. Gary said he doesn't come across well whenever he gets on a mic.

Howard took another call from a guy who said Gary was being a baby bitch about this. Gary said he's embarrassed by this and it was a trust thing. He said Scott fucked him. He said it's like he bent him over the desk, pulled his pants down and fucked him. Scott said that other people have done that to him too. Howard told Scott he has to stop throwing other people into this thing. He said that Scott isn't taking full responsibility and he's throwing everyone else under the bus.

Robin said that Scott was the one who sat with Gary and told him he wouldn't do this and he still isn't taking responsibility. Howard said this is like a guy gang raping a woman and the guy goes into court and tells the judge that everyone else did it too. He said he has to take some of that responsibility. Scott said he is.

Doug was telling Scott what he did and how he apologized to Gary. He said he could do the same thing and just get over it. Gary said he likes how he's trying to drag Jon Hein into all of this. Doug said that Jon is such a good friends but he didn't do anything to stop it. Howard said that he shouldn't be trying to ruin his relationship with Gary. Scott said he's not trying to do that. Howard said he's really a weasel. Scott said he knows that he's going to get email about him being a scumbag but that's the opposite of what he reads on SternFanNetwork.

Fred said that Gary did them a favor by letting them put that camera on him all the time. Scott said Gary was doing Howard TV a favor, not a personal favor.

Irish John called in and said they should put a shock collar on Gary and have the Howard TV guys keep him awake. John said that anyone could have walked by his office and caught him sleeping. Gary said they could have but they didn't. He said that this is all about Scott's promise to him to not use any tape. He said that's what this is about, not about the sleeping part.

Howard told Scott that he should just take responsibility and stop blaming other people. Howard told Scott he should have told Doug he made that promise to Gary. Scott said maybe he did. Howard said that he has to stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility. Howard said Scott is guilty and he has to stop bringing up Jon Hein and the other guys. He said it's up to them to deal with Gary.

Howard asked Gary if he feels any better for Scott. Gary said that Scott did apologize but then screwed him. He said they'll figure it out eventually. Howard had to go to break after that.

Queen For A Day. 9/30/97. 7:50am
1997 must be the year of the games on the Stern show. Today they played ''Queen For a Day''. This is where 3 or 4 people call in with their sob stories and the one with the saddest story wins a prize. The prize today was round trip tickets to San Francisco courtesy of Tower Air. Here are the contestants and their stories:

• Jeff - While drunk he fell asleep on railroad tracks on Labor Day and got hit by a train. He's now less one leg, has a metal pelvis and has an eye socket problem.
• Blind Chuck - Chuck has been blind since birth. He's been married 3 times and his last wife left him after he helped her get out of her manic depression. She didn't even call him, his step-daughter let him know that he'd been replaced.
• Mike - HIV positive, got it from sleeping with guys outside of his relationship with a woman. She doesn't know that he's bi-sexual and she may be HIV positive herself.
• Celeste - No sad story here. She wants to get her kid into commercials so that she isn't broke anymore. No one felt sorry for her.

Flavor Flav Visits. 02/02/09. 8:20am
After the break Howard came right back since Flavor Flav was there. Howard said that Gary was in there but he was going to hold off talking to him until he was done with Flavor. Howard said that he feels responsible for Flavor's career. Howard said that he used to have Flavor on the show all the time back in the day when he was down on his luck. No one was paying attention to him back then and he was scalping tickets. Howard said that Mark Cronin heard Flavor on the show and put him on The Surreal Life and made him a big star again.

Flavor Flav came in and made a bunch of noise with his giant clock and all of the stuff he was wearing. Flavor asked Robin if she was running for President behind that bullet proof glass.

Howard said that Flavor had a tough time after Public Enemy went away. Howard said that Cronin got him on The Surreal Life and then on ''Strange Love'' with Brigitte Nielsen.

Howard asked Flavor if he ever thought they'd see a black president. Flavor said that some day there will be a Jewish President too. Howard asked Flavor if he considers Obama as black. Flavor said that he has always been proud of being black himself. He said that he does consider Obama as being black too. Flavor said that he's going to run for President next.

Howard asked Flavor about the show he did with Brigitte Nielsen and if that was real. Flavor said that he doesn't see color and he had a great friendship and relationship with her. He said that they both broke it off when they broke up. Howard asked if the pussy was good. Flavor said that he stays away from talking about that. Howard asked if he went down on her. He said that he was already down on her, he's only 5'8'' tall and she's like 6'2'' tall.

Howard said that every reality show that Flavor does turns to number 1 and he wondered if he got some good money for that. Flavor said he didn't see the money right away but he did make some money. He said he wasn't rolling in dough but he did alright.

Howard said that Flavor is great at mixing it up and he makes people want to watch him. Howard asked Flavor how old he was when he first banged a broad. Flavor said that he was just 6 years old. Howard asked him how old the girl was. Flavor said that she was 6 years old too. They were just ''experimenting.'' Flavor said that it was just natural instincts. He said that he did get hard and he was able to penetrate but he didn't complete his mission with her. He said that he did get a boner no problem though.

Howard said that Flavor has 7 kids now and he wants to have 3 more. Flavor said that he's trying to add more kids but he doesn't live with them all. Flavor said that his three oldest live out on Long Island. Flavor said that his middle three are up in Albany. He mentioned that one of his kids was named Designa so they spent a minute talking about that unusual name. He also mentioned another one by the name of Karma who lives with him out in Vegas.

Flavor said that he thinks that he's a good father and he thinks that there are other people just like him out there. He said that he really enjoys this youngest kid because he takes his clock and runs around the house wearing that.

Howard asked Flavor why he doesn't wear a calendar instead of a clock. Flavor said that a calendar would be for a woman, not for him. He said he started wearing the clock back in the day when stop watches were the fad. He said that his buddy took his stop watch off and stuck the kitchen clock on him.

Flavor said that he puts his clock at 6 o'clock and that's because he's being straight up. Flavor was all over the place and mentioned that he was in Howard's movie and it was only the 5th movie he was ever in. He said that he smacked Howard on the ass with a broom in the movie.

Howard said that Flavor was there to promote this movie ''Nite Tales'' that's going to be on out DVD tomorrow. Howard then asked him about leaving his reality show and if he did that because of his girlfriend. Flavor said he realized what he had at home which was real love. He said that the TV show was getting repetitious too and people thought he wasn't able to find real love. He said that's just not him.

Howard asked Flavor about the roast they did for him. Flavor said that he didn't know what a roast was before they did his. He said he didn't know what to do with it but he figured he should have just done his own thing. That's why he wants a part 2 roast so he can get his revenge.

Howard asked Flavor if he was upset about the use of the N-word in his roast. Flavor said that he doesn't have a problem with the word and it's regular part of his vocabulary. He then threw it out there about 10 times and sang a Public Enemy song that had the word in it a bunch of times.

Howard asked Flavor if he knew that Duran Duran covered ''911's A Joke.'' Flavor said he did know that but he hadn't heard the album. Howard played him some of the song and asked Flavor to be honest about what he thought of that version of the song.

Flavor was talking about doing radio there and told Howard that he used to work with Lisa G. Howard told Flavor that he should have hooked up with Lisa. Flavor said that he thinks that Lisa is afraid of love from a man and she's been single for way too long. Howard said that's an interesting take on that. Howard said that she seems to be hot for Artie though.

Gary came in and said that Lisa was telling him a story about how she used to have to call the local jails to see if Flavor was locked up if he didn't show up to work on time. That led to Flavor talking about how he's the only one in radio history to do a show from his jail cell. He said he did that from Riker's Island and the guards would bring him the phone so he could do that.

Howard asked Flavor if he has a driver's license yet because he's been caught not having one like 48 times. Flavor said he had one back in the day but he hasn't renewed it so he has to take the test again. Flavor said that he got suspended and he'd go out driving anyway.

Flavor said that he doesn't want to go back to jail to serve anymore time but he would like to go back and tell the other prisoners how great it is on the outside. Flavor said that he did 2 and a half years at one time. He got caught doing burglaries and stuff back then. He said he was in a gang back then and he was into some bad stuff.

Howard asked what he was charged with. Flavor said it was a bunch of things. Flavor said he didn't feel guilt back then but he does now. He said that his friends were all doing it and that's who was telling him it was okay to do that stuff.

Howard read that Flavor was in school with Eddie Murphy. Flavor said he got thrown out of Roosevelt High School. Howard said that he must have been really bad if he got thrown out of that school. Howard asked if his parents had any control over him at all. Flavor said his parents were great but his friends would get him into trouble. He said his parents would beat his ass back then. He said that he wouldn't dare fight back either. They'd whip him with the extension cord when his pants were down. Flavor said that he'd eventually start laughing and he'd get beaten even more.

Howard asked Flavor if he ever went to the shrink. Flavor said he did go once. Howard asked Flavor if he ever thought about those beatings and how wrong they were. Flavor said he just thought that he should stop doing the stuff he was doing when he'd get those beatings. He said he didn't think that was abuse to him. Howard asked Flavor if he'd beat his kids. He said he would if he could but he knows he'll go to jail. Howard asked him if he would do it if it wasn't against the law. Flavor said that there are better wants to discipline kids these days. Flavor said that he learned from all of those beatings he took.

Howard said that Flavor seems to be uncomfortable with the discussion. He said that he took his anger out on all of the people he robbed. He should have taken it out on his parents instead. Flavor said that Howard is giving it a good try but he's not right.

Howard said he's happy that Flav is doing well now. Flavor said that he's having fun out on the West coast now. Howard asked him what the scariest moments were for him in jail. He said he took a beating from the guards one time. That was scary. He said that happened in the 6 building on Riker's Island. He tried to take it to court but he didn't win. Howard asked him why it's okay for his mother to beat him but not the guards. Flavor said that it's only his mother who can beat him.

Howard said he found it hard to believe that Flavor had never heard this version of ''911's A Joke'' from Duran Duran. He played some of it for him and asked Flavor what he thinks about it. Flavor said that he thought it was hot and he liked it.

Howard asked Flavor about this girl he's with now. Flavor said that he thinks that they may set a date to get married soon. He said they've been together for about 5 years now and he loves her. He said that he wants this thing to be big so that's why he's taking his time with her.

Howard asked Flavor when he's going to set the date. Flavor said that it should be in '09. He said he wants everyone to shoot it too and he wants every channel to cover it. He said he wants all of the radio stations, TV stations and all of that, just like the inauguration.

Howard asked Flavor if he heard Chris Rock giving him a beating in his act. Flavor said he heard that he was giving him a beating but he didn't understand why he was bashing him. He said that he was told that Chris loves him but he's not sure what he was saying about him. Howard said he heard it and it wasn't very nice. He said that he would stick up for him if he runs into Chris.

Howard asked Flav if he ever hears from his old gang members. Flav said that he doesn't hear form them. He said that was a long time ago and his gang is gone now. He didn't even want to talk about how he got out of the gang because he didn't want to start something that could get out of control.

Howard and Robin asked about the gang thing some more and tried to find out what he had to do to get out of it. Flav said that he got beaten up going into it and coming out. He said that he didn't feel bad when he had to beat someone else up because they didn't feel bad beating him up.

Howard said it sounds like Flav's life was pretty tough. Flav said that it's not so bad now that he has some money. He said that he'd have no problems if he had Howard's money. He asked Howard if he thinks that he would be good on the air. Howard said he would if he got real and became himself on a show. He said that would be one of the greatest radio performers of all time. Flav said that he knows how to do that. Howard said he'll ask Tim Sabean to talk to him about doing an hour of radio. He said he'd like to hear some stories about his life growing up.

Howard had Dominic Barbara on the phone. Dominic said that he represented Flav's wife in a family court thing. Flav asked where they dug this guy up. Dominic asked if he's still in his kid's lives. Flav said that he stays in touch and he has grand kids now. Howard and Robin asked him how old he is. Flav is turning 50 soon.

Howard took a call from a woman who asked Flav if he feels bad for beating up that puppy on the Surreal Life. Flav said that they made a bigger deal out of that than it was. He said he was just teaching the dog not to piss on the floor.

Howard told Flav that the abuse is coming from his parents having beat him. Flav said that he wasn't abused, he was being disciplined. He said there is a difference there. Howard kept telling Flav that he was abused but Flav refused to agree with him on that. He said his mother wasn't abusing him, she was just disciplining him.

Howard took another call from a guy who said that Howard should feel good sitting next to Flav because he's not as bad looking as Flav. The caller said that he did some time in jail and Flav was there and he was talking non-stop there, even in his sleep.

Howard asked Flav about this movie ''Nite Tales'' and found out that it's kind of like a Twilight Zone type of thing. Flav said that he plays the ''Rod Sterling'' of the movie. He said he starts the movie off and he ends it. Flav said that he's the narrator and the story teller in the movie. He said that it's going to be a series and they have some stuff for Howard that they want him to do. Howard said that he has to look at that stuff before he can commit.

Howard said that he did put Flav in all of his (one) movies. He said that he was very prompt showing up on time for him. Howard wrapped up with Flav, gave him some more plugs for the movie and went to break a short time later.

More Strange Sal And Richard Stories. 10/31/05. 7:45am
Howard came back from break and listened to a Crackhead Bob bit and a George Takei bit where they had Takei ''talking'' to Richard Christy about meeting Fred for the first time. The delay was hit at least one time while they were playing that bit. Howard went on to say that Takei is a really weird dude.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that he's been listening to some of the shows on Howard 100 and the Double A interview with Beth O was really boring. Howard said he knows that it was a train wreck of a show and that's what he thought it was going to be. He's just filling up some empty space on his channel until he moves over there. Howard mentioned that Double A been all over the Howard 100 News lately. He does have a beef with them over there though. He said that Ronnie has been bashing Sal over there and once they got a hold of Sal, he made the reporter feel bad and now they've cut out a bunch of the stuff that Ronnie has said about him. Ronnie came in and said that he went off on Sal when they interviewed him and the reporter said that she wasn't sure she could air it because she didn't know how much controversy it was going to cause.

Sal said that Ronnie thinks that he put Double A up to saying some nice stuff about him but that's not true. Howard said that the News department is causing problems already. Robin and Ronnie seem to think that he's been crying to them and screwing things up. Gary said that Sal and Richard went out to a gig in Chicago over the weekend and were up to some weird stuff. Richard is a huge fan of Halloween and loves to go to haunted houses and stuff. There was one guy advertising a haunted garage out there so that's where they went. It was at some guy's house out there. They had some pictures of it so Howard told the guys to get them up on HowardStern.com. Gary said that they went to this guy's house and it was horrible. Sal came up with an idea for Richard to pull down his pants so they could take a picture of him in front of it. The guy who created the haunted garage came out and asked them what the hell they're doing and Sal caught him as he was looking over at the guy who found them. Richard had to pull up his pants. Sal said that the guy's grandfather came walking up a short time later and asked them if they were scared.

*(This part featuring Bob Levy was edited out of the replay) Comedian Rev. Bob Levy called in and said that he saw Sal crying in front of Richard at a strip club. He was apparently telling Richard how great a friend he is and ended up bawling. Gary said that Sal had gotten drunk and got very emotional as he was sitting next to him. Sal said after his blow up on Friday he got very emotional. Howard asked him what's wrong with him. Sal said that he's messed up and didn't know why he got so emotional. Howard told Bob that he's been great in the News and said that Bob will be doing stuff with them and won't be left out in the cold. Bob told Howard he loves him and will be up at the studio to cry to him that he loves him. Sal and Richard continued to talk about their behavior out there in Chicago and it seems that the two of them get along better than Sal and his wife do.*

Sal and Richard said that they shared a room again this weekend because the comedy club doesn't pay for another one. Levy said that's not true and they always pay for rooms for each of them. Sal said that Craig Gass told him that they wouldn't pay for the extra room though. Sal was also saying that Richard will pull his junk out in front of him all the time for nor reason. Richard told Howard that he's got something going on around his private parts where it seems to be creating a ''Gock'' which is kind of like a ''gunt'' but it's on a guy. Howard told Richard that if he lets his hair grow out, it wouldn't be so noticeable. Richard said that he shaves down because he sometimes gets stuff in there that he doesn't want in there. Richard said he shaves down that area about once every 2 weeks or so. Meanwhile he doesn't brush his teeth for days or weeks at a time.

Gary said that Sal has been doing some weird stuff lately. He's had Debbie the Queefer's panties on his computer speaker for weeks so he had to ask him to move them. He's also been spying on some woman who gets dressed in front of her window at an apartment across the street from the studio lately. He's been tracking her and watching her dress in the morning.

*(This part featuring Double A was edited out of the replay) Double A was on the phone so Howard talked to him about how much time he's been spending over at SIRIUS lately. Double said that there's a woman over there who he wants to be around all the time because she's so hot. Double A wants to work over there and was just about begging for a show. He said that this woman, Sue Costello, is like a mini-Beth but Artie said that she's no mini-Beth because he's seen her. Double A asked Howard not to forget about him as he was getting off the phone.*

Richard told Howard about how he pleasured himself on the flight out to Chicago and spent about 15 minutes in the tiny bathroom. Gary said that he has to hold his breath when he has to use it. Artie said that it's embarrassing enough to go doody on the plane, never mind pleasuring yourself. Richard said he actually loves going doody on the plane and will save it for the flight.

In the clip Howard said he was going to let Mark Harris come in for 10 minutes tops. He said he was dressed like Lawrence of Arabia. He said he put a sheet on his head. He asked what's wrong with him. Gary said Mark is very happy today. Howard said Martha Raye is gone, that's why he's happy. Howard said he understands he's walking around in a mink that has to be worth a fortune. Robin asked if he's wearing Martha's wardrobe. Mark said he made that mink. Howard asked if he owns her clothes now. Mark said he is not wearing her clothes. He said her stuff is in storage.

Howard asked if he has Martha's house now. Mark said he does. Howard asked what he has gotten since her demise. Mark said he has gotten nothing from Martha since her demise. Howard said he must have gotten something.

Mark asked if he got the song he recorded. Howard said he has it. He asked Mark why he's getting plastic surgery. Mark said he had a re-draping of the neck. Howard asked him about the watch he was wearing. Mark said he got it from an Arab. He said he has a TV show and he has an agent now too. He said they just finished the TV show and it's going to NAPTE soon. He said it's called Tasty Travels. Mark said he travels around the world and cooks. Howard said this will never be seen anywhere. Mark said they'll see.

Howard asked Mark what he does in this show. Mark said he goes around and cooks in people's houses. Robin said he's making corrections on the recipes. Howard said Richard Simmons looks macho next to Mark.

Howard asked who produced this show. Mark said Rick Turner did and Howard knows him. Howard said he doesn't know who that is. Gary said they were in a limo once and he had done a cable show where the guy did a Letterman act. Gary said that the guy claims that Letterman ripped him off.

Howard said he wanted to hear his song. He said he heard he's getting a face lift and he's not sure why. Mark said everything is falling. He said he's getting a tummy tuck too. He said he's getting fat put in his ass and he's getting his testicles reduced. Mark said he's 50 years old and they're falling. He said they're just going to firm it up a little bit.

Howard asked if Mark is afraid of AIDS. Mark asked why he would. He said he's not into that kind of thing. Howard said he had to have tried it. Mark said he doesn't do that.

Howard played Mark's new song which was about Newt Gingrich. Howard asked why he doesn't like him. Mark said he's a republican and he doesn't want him in the party. The song sounded like every other Mark Harris song they've played on the show. Howard said he only knows one song. Mark said it's his signature.

Howard said he thinks his mind is soggy with all his friend's fluids. Mark let out a sigh when he heard that. Howard got back to the song and played a little more of that. Jackie was laughing while the song played. Howard asked how old he is. Mark said he'll be 46. He said he knew Howard wouldn't play it all the way through. He said Leo De Lion told him that he never does. Billy West did an impression of Mark singing too.

Howard played another song from Mark and laughed as he asked what that is. Howard ended up smashing the tape of the song.

Howard said the song is awful. He said he hates Newt but no one knows why. Howard said he doesn't dislike him. Howard asked what he doesn't like about him. Mark said he should hear the rest of the song. Howard said he has no reason. Mark said there's more to it in the song. Howard said it is the worst song he's ever heard. Mark said thank god the audience doesn't think so. Howard played more of the song and said he still doesn't know why he doesn't like Newt Gingrich. Howard said he came in there with a song about why he doesn't like him and he doesn't understand what he's saying he doesn't like about him. Mark said he thinks he's too close to the right and he should be more centered. Howard asked what too far means. Mark said he thinks there should be pro choice. Howard said they all agree on that. Mark said he thinks there should be more moderation like he is. Howard said he's not moderate. Mark said he is. Mark told Howard he and Mr. Blackwell are going to be revealing the worst dressed list together.

Gary brought in some faxes that the fans sent in to Mark. Howard read through a couple of those. Howard thanked Mark for his gift of Douche Das. Howard said he just got a fax from the Pope saying he wants to kill Mark Harris.

Howard asked if Mark's agent is named Dick Swallow. Mark said it's Harry Stallwater. He said he's been on the phone discussing deals with him the past few days. He said he works with Dom Deluise too. Howard said Mark is like Ru Paul without the talent.

Mark said he's going to come out and reveal himself after his surgery. Howard said he will come out to see him for that.

Mark said that he is going to get fixed up at the Kennedy Center. Howard asked why he thinks that's going to happen. Mark said he got a letter from President Clinton. He said he's concerned about his loneliness. Howard asked where that letter is. Mark said he has to frame it. Howard asked if he really thinks he's going to be famous. Mark said he is already. He said he's having a ball by the way. Howard said he's sure he is. He said he'd bet he's having two.

Howard asked Mark where he's announcing the worst dressed list. Mark said they're doing it in Hancock Park in Los Angeles.

Mark said he was in Marlboro, New Jersey yesterday and he had a real estate agent taking her around to see homes and he looked at one right next to his ex-wife. He said he doesn't want to live next door to her.

Howard said he thinks that they've spent enough time with him. He said he predicts that in about 3 months Mark will be very famous. Mark said he thinks he's right.

Howard asked if he is friends with Dom Deluise. Mark said he is. Howard asked if he thinks he's handsome. Mark said he thought he looked like Elizabeth Taylor used to look. Howard asked if he's attracted to him. Mark said his wife thought he was nice looking. Mark was telling Howard stories and Howard said he just can't take it anymore. He didn't understand what he was talking about. Howard wrapped up with Mark a short time later.

Howard said Tiny is the best talk show guest in the country. Tiny thanked him for that. Tiny told Howard about buying Robin's book the last time he was there. Howard said that she had some life. Tiny said he had no idea what she went through.

Howard said you have to see Alexa looking at Tiny. He said he has some way with women. Robin said he came in and ignored her. Howard said she's on the cover of Swank magazine. Tiny said she is lovely.

Tiny said he bought the magazine that Miss Alexa was in. He said he's the worst sinner in the world. He said he thinks that Jerry Springer took her to his room and he thought he could be with her but he could not so he pleasured himself. Howard said it's okay if he wants to pleasure himself to her now. Howard said he had a beer for him too.

Robin asked if he has ever touched himself. Tiny said he has not. Tiny told Howard back in 1981 he was staying somewhere there in the city. He said for one second he got slightly aroused and he just went closer than he should to this woman. He said she told him to be careful and he backed off. He said that was it.

Tiny said when you go into a man's room no matter who it is the first thing a man is going to think is how to seduce her. He said it's in every man's head or at least 9 out of 10.

Howard asked if sex is involved in his marriage. Tiny said that he told the world that he is impotent. He said he made an album called The Impotent Trubadore. Tiny said he can still have thoughts and sing romantic songs though. He said it's frustrating to him because Miss Sue can't have anything and she does all of the work. Tiny said sex isn't everything in a marriage.

Howard said Tiny speaks the truth. He said his wife will come into the room and Tiny will let her do things to him. Tiny said it happens once or twice a week. He said that it lasts 70 seconds or less. Howard said he has an orgasm then. Tiny said he does but he still hasn't consummated the marriage. He said he hasn't penetrated her. Howard said he has to help her out with something. He said he could use his ukulele on her. Howard said maybe he could use his mouth on her. Tiny said that she doesn't want that. He said she can't stand the smell of sharpie pens or his shampoo. He said she's afraid that if he does stuff to her with his mouth that she'll get something from his mouth. Howard said she's a saint.

Howard said last time Tiny was there he talked about wearing Depends Diapers. Tiny said he takes a shower every day and he hasn't missed one since 1989. He said the problem is that he gets lazy. He said he missed one in the Iowa flood. Tiny said the reason for Depends is because he cleans with soap and water back there. He said the Depends are clean and soft and he can throw them away. Howard said he doesn't soil his diapers. Tiny said he uses Preparation He and Pezo on himself even when he doesn't need it. He said if he gets any in the Depends he can throw them away. Tiny said he uses Preparation He as hand lotion. Howard said he has the hands of a 19 year old. Tiny said Revlon sent him some makeup products for free and he said he could not take them. He said he sent them $50 for what they sent him. Tiny said last time he was on he mentioned Job Squad paper towels on his body. He never uses a regular towel unless it's an emergency. He said he feels cleaner now. He said Viva came out with a soft cloth towel too and they changed the name to Viva Job Squad. He said he thinks they heard the show and brought that out.

Howard said Tiny has remained young doing all of this. He said you don't see a wrinkle on the guy. Tiny said he is near 65 years old. Howard said he looks 20 with the hands of a 19 year old.

Tiny said Depends has a great underwear garment but he is mad at them for one reason. He said they have a Velcro tape on it and it snaps away. He said he wishes they had straps on it. He said he loves the product so much.

Tiny also told Howard that he likes golden raisins but sometimes they have dark raisins in the package. He said he had to switch brands because of that. Howard said he used to drink tomato sauce too. Tiny said he had to quit doing that because of his heart problem. Tiny said he has Dominos pizza too and he likes the thin crust with it being light on the cheese. He said they never let him down. Howard said he always learns something new from Tiny. He said he didn't know he could have an orgasm being impotent. Tiny said Miss Sue is very patient.

Howard asked Tiny about how often Miss Sue helps him out in the morning. Tiny said it's every morning. He said she's very good about that. Howard said she's a very proper woman too. Tiny said she is. He said that he has told women to keep their morals but sometimes you can't. He said if a woman is going to do this with a man then a contract should be made before hand. He said there should be a payment made ahead of time. Howard asked if he ever had to put out on the casting couch. Tiny got a laugh out of that.

Howard said he wants Tiny to get to why he's really there. He said he put out a song called Susie Snowflake. Howard said he was going to give the proceeds to the March of Dimes and they said they didn't want his money because he's on the Howard Stern Show. Tiny said that is true. Howard said that's shocking. Tiny said it really is. Tiny said that they are playing a Holier than thou role and they are keeping money from going to the kids. He said they did this because he was going on Howard's show and that's not right. He said they became hypocritical. Tiny said they must be well secured if they can do this. Gary said that the March of Dimes people called off the air and said that Tiny's people didn't file the proper paper work. He said they didn't want to come on the air to talk about it though.

Howard played some of Tiny's song ''Susie Snowflake'' and Tiny was making eyes at him when he said it could be a big hit. Tiny said he is not pleased with the released song. He said he had a better version they did in the studio. Tiny said he thought having the higher voice would have been better. Tiny said they did it in that voice but they rushed this other version out.

Howard said they're trying to change him. He said that's just not right. Howard said that song isn't a bad dance number. Tiny said that some hit songs come out of mistakes. Robin said she loves his Christmas song ''Santa Has Got The AIDS This Year.'' Tiny said he wrote that way back in 1981. He said 5 years later Rock Hudson got into the headlines and it got to be very big.

Robin asked Howard to play some of that AIDS song. Howard said he can do that. Tiny said he hopes he doesn't get in trouble for that. Howard said they'll be fine. Robin said she loves that song. Howard said it has become a Stern Show favorite. Howard said it was an honor to have Tiny there today. Tiny thanked him and thanked Jackie and Alexa too. Howard played ''Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year'' as they were ending the interview. Howard said he loves it. Tiny started singing along with it too. Howard wrapped up and ended the interview a short time later.

In the first clip Robin said that having meals and preparing meals together can help a relationship. Here's my rundown from that day:

Robin's News. 09/22/08. 10:10am
Howard had something else to talk about but he wanted to get to the news instead. Fred played a song parody about Robin's Boobs before she got to her news. She started off with a story about how couples can stay together if they prepare and make meals together. This study they did shows that couples can bond over things like that.

Howard told Robin she may be on to something there because he was taking meals on his own not too long before he and his wife split up. Artie said that it must have been tough to do the show around that time. Howard said it was and now this whole thing with Benjy is making him think he doesn't want to get married at all. That led to Benjy yelling at Howard and claiming that he's a liar and he's been such a jerk about that.

Howard said that someone who isn't a vegetarian doesn't ask for a vegetarian meal. Benjy said that he was asked if he wanted this, this or this and he just picked the meal that was vegetarian and he was making a big deal out of something very little.

Howard told Benjy to just be regular. Benjy said he can't fucking believe Howard and what he's doing with this. He said that he doesn't eat a lot of things and it's simpler to do the vegetarian thing. Benjy said that he really doesn't give a fuck about it. Benjy was yelling the whole time and Howard said he just wanted to move on. He had Robin get back to her news.

In the next clip Robin read a story about a New Zealand court making a couple change their child's name. Artie was trying to sit down and he didn't fit into his chair. That distracted Howard for a second. Robin read the name of the child and told Howard about some of the other names that were kind of odd.

In the next clip Robin read a story about how tall people are happier than shorter people. Howard said overly tall people aren't happy. Robin read about how this study was done to find out if taller people were happier and smarter. Howard said people his height aren't happy. He said he was fine when he was 6'2'' but then he got taller and became unhappy. He said he's unhappy because he's too tall.

In the next clip Robin read about Christina Applegate getting a double mastectomy. That led to Howard wondering what they do with the titties they cut off. Robin said they go to a lab to be analyzed. Howard asked if they bury them. He said he's serious about that. Fred played Taps while they were talking about that. Robin had some audio of Christina talking about the operation and how she's looking forward to having cute boobs. Howard said it's odd that they do that without her having cancer. Robin said her mother had it and she has the gene to get it. Robin said they say it's best to remove both boobs. Howard said he'd like to know if she kept both nipples. Robin said he could call a plastic surgeon to find out.

Artie told Howard he worked with Christina and he jerked off in his dressing room to her. He said she was right in the next room as he did it. Artie said he could hear her talking outside his door. Artie said he walked up to the door and did it while listening to her talking. He said he came on his door. Artie said after that he had to go do an awful sketch with her on MAD TV. Robin asked if he would still do it. Artie said he would.

Howard took a call from a guy who said his friend's wife had it done and they took both boobs and put in an implant. He said the nipple is taken off and you can have no nipple or get a tattoo of a nipple. He said it's kind of like a mannequin or have a tattoo. Howard said they should be able to make a nipple. The caller said he didn't know. Robin had more audio of Christina talking about her mastectomy.

In another clip Robin asked Howard about which is more popular, social media or porn sites. Howard said if you have time for that social media stuff you should have time to work. He said he thinks that's more popular. Robin said according to this study he is right. Howard said Myspace is open to anyone but Facebook you have to admit you want to go look at someone's stuff. Howard said people just want to share their stuff with everyone. He said these people who keep blogs are assholes. Howard goofed on that for a short time. Howard said Gange does that on his Facebook page. Howard and Fred were doing their Gange impressions and goofing on his Facebook posts. Howard read some of his posts and made fun of him over them. Gange came in and took it all while Howard was saying he's a fucking asshole. Howard said Gange has no life and no one cares. He said it's a waste of time. Gange said his friends all read that stuff and love it.

Doug Goodstein told Howard they have some video from Gange's Facebook page. They played that and Howard goofed on Gange about that too. Gange said he was hiking with Robin Radzinski and he was tired from that. Gange said he doesn't care what they say. He said he's going to continue to write his blog posts.

In the next clip Robin read a story about a new way of checking women with dense breast tissue. Robin said that they have to flatten out her breasts to do a Mammography. Robin said it's horrible. She said that she has stretch marks on them. Howard said he wanted to see. Howard said he bets his mom has dense breast tissue. He said she has a big hairy bush. Howard said she's a real woman. Robin wondered what happens when you have implants and they give a Mammography. She wondered if they pop those things. Howard said he remembers seeing his mom's breasts when he was a child. Artie said he saw his mom's for about 3 seconds. Howard said he saw his sister's titties too. Howard said she used to sleep in a nightgown and he could see right through it.

Ralph called in and said that he thinks he could get Artie's mom. He said she digs him. Artie said he might be right. Artie said he would purchase a gun with two bullets if he did. He said one would be for his mom and one would be for him. He said his mom really does enjoy his company. He said she's a very hip mother. Ralph asked how her breasts are. Artie said he won't know that very soon.

Today's special was over around 10:30am.

Benjy asked when that happened. Jon said it was 2010. Benjy asked if he thinks that's really what led to them not getting along well. Jon said it changed the dynamic between them. He said he thinks they both lost respect for each other around then. Jon said neither of them are there today so they're just speculating. Benjy said that's the best way to do it.

Jon was talking about how Gary thought that they had a deal not to show anything recorded in his office. He said Gary and Scott had a deal and Gary felt Scott broke the deal.

Benjy said he doesn't think Scott should have made that deal. He said he's wondering if he had the ability to say no to the deal. Jon said Gary could have said he didn't want the camera in his office. Benjy wondered if Gary could have said no to that. Jon said they're speculating on all of this.

Jon said Scott worked for Doug and neither of them could admit to what they did. He said Scott was deflecting all over the place. Steve Brandano said that's bullshit too. Jon said the focus was on him and he was trying to get it off of him. Jon said he puts more of it on Doug. He said he was in charge of Howard TV. Jon said if he was in charge he would take full responsibility. He said that never happened though.

Benjy asked if Gary's understanding was that he'd get a heads up or a veto. Jon said he thinks he expected a heads up. Benjy asked how it came up on the show. Jon said his recollection is that Doug came to him and Will and showed them the tape. Then he asked what they should do with it. Jon said if Gary is falling asleep on the show then something is going to happen. He said Doug didn't know what to do with it. Scott the Engineer said that was a serious thing. He said they were throwing Gary under the bus. Jon said that he told Doug that he had to go to Howard with it. He said he also said that if they had a deal with Gary they had to go to him too.

Jon said after that they went to Howard with it and then Gary heard about it. Jon said he thinks if anyone fell asleep on the show they'd hear about it. Jon said that was a bad moment to get caught at. He said the way it was dragged out with the back and forth was what made it worse. He said that Gary admitted he nodded off but it went beyond that with Scott and Gary.

Jon asked Scott the Engineer what he would have done. Scott said he would have gone to Gary first. Jon asked if he had an agreement first with someone like Ronnie, would he run into Howard and not tell Ronnie or would he warn him. Scott said he thinks that's happened before. He said it wouldn't bother Ronnie at all. He said it's a tough call. He said you still have to work with these people after.

Benjy wondered if they're looking for Brownie points or they're doing it for the show. Jon said he thinks it's both. Jon said it's a very tricky thing.

Steve said if Benjy was in there and he had tape of him saying something negative about Fred, what would Scott do in that situation. Scott said he doesn't know. He said that most probably he'd have to hold on to it for a little while until Benjy pissed him off.

Benjy said that Scott has complained sometimes and he has told him to talk quietly. He said that he assumes this whole place is bugged. He said a lot of companies do that. He said that he assumes everything they say is being recorded. Benjy said that he'll start saying that he loves things about people just in case they are being recorded. Jon said that's not a bad way to operate around there. He said they had to go to break after that.

Benjy said Gary should be able to say to Howard that he needs a nap and he'll work more effectively. Jon said Howard would love to hear that. Benjy said more mistakes will happen if you don't take a nap. Jon said that he should tell Howard that next time he wants a nap. He said that's a death wish right there.

Jon asked how critical it was that the video was funny to watch. He said that was pretty funny. Scott said it was worth it for them. Benjy said he doesn't remember seeing it. He asked what it looked like. Jon said he was in a chair and he nodded off. He said he wasn't taking a nap. He was sitting back and listening to the show. Benjy said he's much more innocent then. Scott said he should have been prepared for work and shouldn't have been sleepy.

Jon asked what they think about DePace's defense system. Jon said he was backed into a corner obviously. Steve said he thinks he should have admitted it was wrong but it was too good for the show to ignore. He said blaming it on Doug was wrong and he should have manned up for it. Scott said Doug should have said it was the best thing for the show and taken responsibility too.

Benjy said he doesn't know enough of the details. He said if DePace said it then does he have the authority to make that promise and does Doug have to accept the agreement.

Jon said he wants to talk more about how this broke Gary and Scott. He said they had a friendly rivalry and then it turned into ''I don't like this guy.'' Jon said he understands why Gary would feel that way. Steve said he gets that too. He said DePace broke his word to Gary. Jon said he did apologize to him eventually. Steve said the damage was done already though. Everyone saw him sleeping at work and it was embarrassing.

Jon asked if this was the worst thing that's happened to Gary on the show. He said this might be even worse than his pitch. Scott said that his worst was saying ''Baba Booey.'' He said he can't beat that. Benjy said maybe ask if this is the most damaging. Benjy said he thinks it is if that's what they're going by. Steve said it affects his work and the way he appears. He said they all want to nod off once in a while but he actually did it and it directly affects his job.

Benjy said if JD did it then it could have been a sweet thing. Jon said they can go down that road. He asked what Gary is going to do if he sees video of it. He has no agreement not to show it. The guys think that Gary would go to Howard with it. Scott said they work in a strange environment. He said if you're at a regular job and you see someone sleeping you'd just wake them up. They have a different way of doing things there. He said there you record them sleeping and take it to the boss. They had to go to break a short time later.

Benjy said that some people get joy out of other people's misery. Scott said he doesn't. Benjy said that when you see someone with no limbs or a head you think about how good you've got it. Scott said he thinks he's got it pretty good there. He said he's been there for 30 years and he's still there. Jon said some people think of him as a complainer but he feels like a lucky guy. Scott said when he steps back and looks at what he has he thinks he's doing pretty good.

Benjy asked Scott about waking up in the morning if he's excited about the world. Scott said no. He said he knows how lucky he's been but on a daily basis he should be happier for what he has. Jon said he feels very lucky too. He said he feels with this job he's very lucky to have it. He said it's so special to be able to do what they do there on a day to day basis. He said he's thankful every day for being there.

Steve said that it can be really rough going home when it's dark and coming to work when it's dark. He said that's why Gary fell asleep at work.

Jon said you should go to work well rested and enjoy your day at work. He said they were going to wrap up this show now. He had the guys get in their plugs and they ended the show around 11:10am.