|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard said they were there with an audience. Robin said it was amazing. Howard said he had no idea what The Cutting Room was but it's a club where people perform. He said they had about 100-150 people in the room. Howard said they have never done a Town Hall like this before. He said they're going to try to block them all out while they're doing the show. Howard said he never leaves his studio but he will leave it for Billy Joel because he's so phenomenal.
Howard said he spoke to Billy about a year ago and it went pretty well. He said he thinks that he trusts them which is a huge mistake. Howard said he told Billy he hopes he doesn't embarrass him today. He said they have some great guests coming in today too. Robin said she heard some people back stage vocalizing and even that sounded good.
Howard gave Billy an intro of his own. He said he has sold over 150 million albums. Howard said he's had 33 top 40 hits. He said he has 6 Grammy awards and he had the Kennedy Center Honors in 2013. Howard said now he has reduced himself to being interviewed by them. Howard said Billy is celebrating his birthday on May 9th at Madison Square Garden too.
Howard had Billy come out after that. Howard said that's the great one himself. Billy came out and Howard said this is a lot of pressure for him. Howard said when they do these shows there are questions everyone wants to ask and he always misses one. Howard asked if Billy is nervous. Billy said no. Howard said he asked if he wanted to hear the questions ahead of time and Billy said no. Billy said he hates rehearsals.
Howard said Billy is turning 65. He asked Billy if he's thinking about his age and what that does to him psychologically. Howard said he thinks about his. Billy said he thinks about life. He said he knows this is senior citizen time of life. He said he feels old in some ways. He said there are a lot of benefits to that age. Howard said he's up peeing every 15 minutes himself. Billy said that you don't nickel and dime things at this age. Howard asked if he has any regrets. Billy said he does and everyone does. He said if you don't then what kind of life did you live?
Howard asked if he thinks about heaven and hell and if they exist. Billy said he's not saying they don't but he doesn't believe there is either. Billy said he went to church as a kid. He said he was in a Jewish family but he went to mass with his catholic friends. He said he got chased out of confession though. He said when he was 11 his mom took him to a protestant church and he got baptized.
Howard asked Billy about waking up every morning with a song in his head. He asked if that happens. Billy said it does. He said he tries to shake it off though. Howard asked what song he has in his head now and if he will ever record any new music. Billy said he has no plans to but he won't shut the door on anything. He said if he wanted to do that he would. Howard asked when he last wrote a song. Billy said he has written instrumental stuff but not a song. Howard asked if he doesn't want to have a flop album. Billy said it's not about that. He said no one sells albums anymore. Howard asked what the reason is. Billy said he just doesn't want to. He said you have to want to write new songs. He said that Elton John asks him when he's going to write a new one and he asks him why he doesn't write less albums.
Billy said he started writing a piece of music about 20 years ago. He said it ended up on the Piano Pieces album he did. He said it was called Soliloquy (On a Separation) and that was the last one he wrote. Billy said when he woke up today he was thinking about a classical piano piece. Howard asked him to give them a little taste of that on the piano. Billy played what he heard in his head this morning.
Howard said he liked that. Howard asked if he has to go and play it to get it out of his head. Billy said it just stays in there and rolls around for awhile. He said that every day he has something going on in his head. Billy said he is thinking of some kind of music right now. Howard asked if he feels he has to play every day so he doesn't lose it. Billy said he likes to stay in touch with the piano. He said he has it right there in the living room. He said he likes having written stuff but not writing stuff.
Howard asked if he does vocal exercises every day. Billy said ''nah.'' Howard said Billy smokes too. He said that's not good for his voice. Billy said it's terrible for his voice. He said he likes his voice now. He said he likes it more than he did.
Billy said he had hip replacement and he had taken a few years off to do that. Billy said when he was in the studio with Howard he was hobbling around on a cane. Howard asked if he has to go through rehab. Billy said he did that for a couple of months.
Howard said he's going to take a few questions from the audience. Howard went to a guy named Joe Logatto who asked if any of his songs were written about a certain thing but were perceived by the audience differently. Billy said he has a song called ''Laura'' that people thought was about a woman. Billy played some of the song and explained that the song was actually about a family member who was a pain in the ass. Howard asked if the person's name was that name. Billy said it was not. He said that person didn't know the song is about them... but they do now.
Howard took a question from another audience member who asked if he thinks Elton John is a better piano player than he did before working with him. Billy said he is an amazing piano player. He said that he thinks he's a fantastic piano player. He said he plays keys that he's not even familiar with. Billy said he's not that great a piano player. He said Elton plays in a certain way. He demonstrated that by playing an Elton John song and singing the way Elton does.
Howard asked Billy if he ever considered performing in a duck costume. Billy said no. He said he would like to come up with a costume called The Piano Man with a big P on the chest. Howard asked if he and Elton are okay now because they had a falling out. Billy said there was a falling out but it was over a misunderstanding. He said they're doing just fine now though.
Howard asked what he meant by Elton playing in a certain way and how he doesn't play some of those keys. Billy said he doesn't read music and you kind of lose it if you don't keep up with lessons. He said he quit when he was about 16 and found girls. Robin said Elton didn't have that problem. Billy said Robin said that, not him.
Howard asked Billy about taking up boxing when he was 16. Billy said he didn't hurt his hands but he did hurt his nose. Howard asked who got him into that. Billy said there were some guys who were giving him a hard time in the Bronx. He said he got tired of that and he had to learn how to take care of himself. He said he took boxing lessons and he was pretty good. Howard asked if he ever got to try those skills out. Billy said he did knock someone out doing that.
Howard took a question from an audience member who asked how much he plays piano a week. Billy said that's hard to guesstimate. He said that he will play for a long time or a short time. He said he really doesn't pay attention to the time. He said he gets lost in the playing. He said he goes into this other world and it just keeps going.
Howard said Billy loves boating too. Billy said piano takes him to another place. He said he likes boating and motorcycles too. He said he has dogs too.
Howard asked Billy about writing about depression with Summer Highland Falls. Howard said he think that he is in a happy place right now. Howard asked if that was a bad time in his life. Billy said that was in about 1975 or 76. He said he was moving around the country. Howard said he must have been at a low point. Billy said he was about 21 and that was a difficult time. He said there was a relationship not working out that was disappointing. Howard said when he wrote the song he wanted it to show the highs and lows of depression. Billy showed Howard how that works with the song. He showed the down up part and the manic part of the whole thing. Billy said it actually describes manic depression in the song.
Howard asked the stardom helps with the depression. Billy said it really is like a job so it doesn't. He said it might have exacerbated it actually. He said that there were some crazy things that happened in his life. Robin said it takes away your privacy too. Billy said you have stuff written about you in the press and that can be hard too.
Howard asked if they could hear some of that ''Summer Highland Falls.'' Billy said he has some of his guys there. He had Tommy Burns and Mark Rivera there with him. He said he's not playing a real piano. He said he has a synthesizer. Howard asked if he's okay with the room sound. Billy said it was a little dry. He said he loves performing at Madison Square Garden. Howard said he's going to be at his May 9th show. He said he's giving money to Bianca's Furry Friends and that means a lot to them. Howard let Billy get to the song after that. Billy and the guys played ''Summer Highland Falls.''
after the song Howard said the room is no longer dry thanks to the way Robin responded to it. There was a sigh from the room.
Howard said Billy was in the bathroom practicing the song. He asked if he does the song the same way every time. Billy said he does not. One of the guys was saying that they did it in a higher key. Billy said they're used to singing at night. He said this is early for them. Billy said that they had to change some keys because his voice has changed as he's gotten older. Howard said the song never sounded better to him. He said he thought it was beautiful.
Robin said that Billy has achieved a level where the whole nation responds to it. Billy said he wouldn't say the whole nation. Howard asked if he would have taken it if Bush was president. Billy said sure he would. Howard asked if he meets the president before hand. Billy said he went to the White House. He said that he never pushes an agenda. He said his political opinion shouldn't affect anyone. He said he would prefer that no one thinks the way he does.
Howard asked Billy about the song Captain Jack being about a heroin dealer. Billy said that was about a drug dealer. Howard said some people thought it was pro drug. Billy said he thought it was pretty clear it wasn't pro drug. He said it's not pro drug. Howard asked if the word masturbate was something they asked him not to use because of air play. Billy said that his record company never gave him a hard time about those type of things.
Howard said he thinks he released the song live. Billy said they recorded it in Philadelphia before they did it on an album. He said they played Captain Jack and they picked it up on a station in Philly. He said that was back when the DJs could spin whatever they wanted. Billy said he misses all of those DJs who would do that. He said they played what they wanted. He said you'd hear stuff that you never heard.
Howard said this Town Hall is kind of like those days. Billy said you could stay up and listen to Scott Muni playing something like Spooky Tooth.
Howard asked if he has ever heard the song by Toad The Wet Sprocket because they had a song that sounded like Billy. They played some of that song and Howard asked if Billy had ever heard it. Billy said hasn't heard it. Howard said it was out a long time ago. It's called ''Walk on the Ocean.''
Howard said Clive Owen heard ''Captain Jack'' and that song blew up for him. Billy said it because an underground hit. Howard asked why he wrote it. Billy said that's one of those songs that's misunderstood. He said Scandinavian Skies was another one. He played some of that for Howard. Billy said he made that sound like a heroin trip. He said he tried it over in Holland and it scared the hell out of him. Howard asked if everyone was trying it back then. Billy said that was in the late 70s and there was a lot going on. He said he just wanted to try it. He said he took it through a needle. He said he got so high he didn't know how to deal with it. He said he was so high and he could see why people got addicted to it. He said he got sick and threw up from it. He said it scared him and that was enough for him.
Howard asked Billy about the song Piano Man. He said he heard that whenever he goes somewhere someone will try to impress him by playing Piano Man on the piano. Billy said it's that or ''Just the Way You Are.'' Billy said he takes that as a compliment though. He said he'll go somewhere and they'll just start playing it.
Howard asked if they had to cut that song down. Billy said he did. He said they had to cut it down to about 3 minutes from 5. He said that it was too long for commercial radio. Billy said it's like a waltz and it's about a guy in a piano bar. He said it's really just a Limerick. He said demonstrated to Howard how he does the song and how he would change it back and forth. He said if you play it on the piano it's just the same thing over and over again. He showed how that works too. Billy said when people play the song they don't play it right because the sheet music is wrong. He said he has to correct them. Billy showed Howard the right way to play it.
Robin asked if he arranged his own music. Billy said he had Phil Ramone who helped him out. He said he arranged most of his own stuff though.
Howard said Paul McCartney says he wishes he had written that song. Billy said he had never heard that. Howard said that must mean a lot to him. Billy said he didn't know that. Howard said Paul thinks of that as the pinnacle of song writing.
Howard asked Billy about Miami 2017. Howard said he created an apocalyptical world. He asked if he had ever done anything like that before. Billy said he's sure there are other songs where there are parts that were imaginary. He said that was the first science fiction though. He said New York was in trouble in the 70s. He said he was going to go back to New York after the headline was ''Ford to New York. Drop Dead.'' He said he had to go back. He said he went back and he wondered what would happen if the city defaulted. He said that he created that whole thing from that.
Howard said he likes the song ''It's Still Rock and Roll To Me.'' He said that none of the clothes and things lie that meant anything to him. Billy said he was making a comment on style. He said that they were pushing a certain type of pop music called power pop. He said he liked it but it wasn't really new. Howard said when the Cars came out and The Police came out it was like that.
Billy sprayed something in his throat. He said it's a throat spray for singers. He said it keeps your throat wet.
Howard said when you're a rock star and you lose your hair, does it affect you. Billy said it sucks. He said he started losing it in his 50s. He said his dad and his dad's dad was bald. He said that he didn't want to go there. He said that he didn't treat his hair very well though. Howard asked if he ever thought about doing a rug. Billy said he didn't. He said he had seen too many bad ones. Billy said that he's worked with some people who had bad rugs. Billy said Howard knows who he's talking abut.
Billy played some of ''It's Still Rock and Roll To Me'' and showed that it's kind of like Bob Dylan's ''Lay Lady Lay.'' He said he didn't even realize he was inspired by that song. Billy said there are only so many chords you can play and many songs are inspired by others.
Howard asked Billy about Goodnight Saigon. Howard said that the song was very meaningful and it was from a soldier's point of view. Billy said he did that for his friends who went to Nam. He said that there are guys who still have a hard time getting over what they went through there. Billy said they never got their due. Billy said they sat him down and said that they wanted him to write a song. He said that they told him what to sing about and he wrote the song. He said the guys over there were doing what they had to so they could protect each other. Billy said he read a book by a guy who wasn't over there but the way it was written you'd think he was over there. He said he just spoke to the guys who were over there.
Howard asked Billy if he was at Woodstock. Billy said he went but just as an audience member. He said he rode his motorcycle up there and stayed for about a day and a half. He said he wanted to see Hendrix but the toilets there were kind of bad and he had to get out of there. He said he thinks you had to do acid there to stay. Billy said the last band he saw perform was Santana.
Howard said Idina grew up in Syosset, New York. She loved Billy so much that she thought she knew where he lived and she went to try and find his house. Idina said she was dating a guy and they used to park outside his house to wait to get a sighting of him. Idina said she used to make out and things like that waiting out there. Howard said she must have lost her virginity there too. She said she may have gotten felt up.
Howard said that Idina is there to perform ''Honesty'' for them. Howard asked Billy about the song. Billy told Howard when he was writing it one of his guys was singing ''Sodomy'' instead of ''Honesty.''
Howard asked Idina to try the song. Billy said he's going to play the piano but she sings it in a different key. Howard said after they sing this they have her high school boyfriend coming in to feel her up.
Billy said that she's singing in D and he usually performs it in D minus. Billy started playing the song and Idina performed the song. She had a bit of a screw up at one point but Billy got her back on track.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. He thanked her for coming in. She thanked Billy. Howard said that was so cool. Howard asked if Billy gets off when other people perform his songs. Billy said absolutely. He said he expected to be a song writer and not a rock star. He said that people have asked him to help with songs. He said he just doesn't want to. Billy said there are some that he'd like to work with but he got so caught up in his own thing he had to get off that treadmill and step out.
Howard asked if it's hard for Billy's sister. He asked if she can be happy for him. Billy said he thinks she is. He said she's not musical. He said the family was musical. He said his father played piano and his mother sang all the time. He said his brother has some music in him and he thinks it's genetic.
Howard asked if there are people who have said rude things to him about the music and things like that. Billy said he has a family member who would come back stage and eat and drink everything. He said he'd ask him when he was going to get a real job. He said he went to play at a big arena and then he asked him for $50,000. He said he told him when he gets a real job they'll talk about it.
Howard had an Audience member ask a question. The guy asked if there are any current artists who inspire him to write now. Billy said he doesn't keep up with current music. He said he hears good stuff once in a while but he doesn't know who it is. He said he really just listens to classical music now. He said he doesn't listen to rock and roll anymore.
Howard asked if he misses the form of an album in vinyl. Billy said he liked vinyl but he liked CDs too. He said he liked the size of an LP. He said you could read the liner notes and see people in the pictures and all of that.
Howard asked Billy how hard it is to give an album a name and things like that. He asked how you work all of that out. Billy said it takes a lot of thought. He said that you have to think about the order of the songs and all of that.
Billy said they had an album called the Iron Curtain and he had a curtain over him with him just looking like a lump. He said that ended up on the back of the album.
Howard asked if he didn't like the way he looked and if he didn't want his picture on the cover because of that. Billy said he's not photogenic. He said that people would say ''Well, you don't look so bad.''
An audience member asked if he had a song that he loved that never became a hit. Billy said that he has something he loves about every song but he doesn't expect them all to be hits. Billy said he doesn't pick the hits. He said he just makes the album and then the record company picks the songs to put out. He said they had a pretty good batting average.
Howard asked about the song Downeaster Alexa and how he was going to give all of the money to fishermen but the song wasn't a big hit. Billy said it wasn't a hit single so they probably got 5 bucks or something.
Howard said they have Pink there to perform a song. Howard said she has sold more than 45 million albums. He said she's had a bunch of top 40 songs and she will be performing ''She's Always A Woman'' for them. Howard said she walked down the aisle to that song. Pink said she has been told that she has changed people's lives. She said she can say that to Billy. She said that Billy was like a god she prayed to as a child. She said she was also a Jew that got baptized. Pink said her dad is there with her and he was her other god. She said she got to see her dad become happy when Billy's songs came on. She said that has changed and shaped her life. She said it's unique to him. She said that has changed her life. She said when she sits down to write a song she thinks it's going to suck and she shouldn't even do it. Howard said Billy has become very important to so many young artists.
Howard said Billy wrote ''She's Always a Woman'' about his first wife. Howard asked if that's tough for his girlfriend to hear now. Billy said that it is. He said it's like a curse in his life when he writes a song about a woman and then goes out with another. Howard asked what the song is about. Billy said he's not sure he should say. Howard said he should. Billy told Howard about the song being about a woman who was in the business world and how she will always be a woman to him. He said that she's great at business but when she comes home she's still a woman to him.
Howard said Billy and Pink are going to do the song together. Pink said she's guaranteeing that they're going to screw up at least two notes. Howard told her to just pretend they're in someone's living room. Billy and Pink figured out how they were going to do it and went right into the song.
After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said he wanted to bring something up. He said Pink is good. He said that he wanted to say that her mom is crying in the audience. Howard asked what was going on there. Pink's mom said it was Irish pride. She said that she never thought she'd see her daughter up there. She said it was awesome. Howard said it was an emotional moment. Howard said he thought she was crying because she hated him or something. Howard thanked Pink for coming and performing.
Howard asked Billy if he thinks about his wife when he sings that song. Billy said he does. He said he calls her once in a while. Howard asked if there's any bitterness there. Billy said he's not bitter about anything. He said he didn't do it in his set list for a while. then she came to a show and he did it for her. He said the crowd loved the song so they kept it in the set after that. Howard asked if they do the song a lot now. Billy said the audience loves the song. He said at the end he says ''We got divorced.''
Howard took a call from a woman named Karen. She asked Billy if he ever sees interpretations of his songs and wanted to do the song or has he hated any. Billy said Helen Reddy did a cover of ''You're My Home''. Billy said he wanted to be a song writer. He said he wrote songs and the advice was to make the album so people could hear his songs. Then he went out on the road to promote those albums. He said now they call it the singer/songwriter era. He said a lot of people were doing that. Billy said he became Billy Joel. He said that was kind of funny to him. Billy said it was all a big accident. Billy said he wanted other people to cover his songs. He said that's why he did what he did. Billy said it's like a pregnancy and you want to get the song out. Howard asked how long he labors over a record. Billy said it's all different. He said the Nylon Curtain took 9 months and another album took 2 months. Billy said it's the same thing about the songs. He said some can take just a few minutes to write.
Billy got back to the Helen Reddy song and said that he wasn't that thrilled with it. He said it wasn't his cup of tea. He said he would go on stage and perform the song and say that Helen cut it to shreds. He said that his manager told him to stop that or she'd stop performing the song. Billy said he would have been fine with that.
Howard had an audience member ask a question. The guy asked how he and Howard became friends. Billy said Howard is very easy to hang out with. He said he's crazy on the air but off the air he's like anyone else. Howard said Billy will come to dinner at his house and he is one of his few friends who wants to talk politics and the world situation. He said he is one of the best conversationalists off the air. He said he has stories about Jerry Seinfeld and world politics. Howard said he is fascinated by the guy and he's honored to have him as a friend. Billy said Howard has good food at his house all the time too. Billy said that he doesn't stick around either and Howard likes that. Howard said he is tired and he's glad that he goes home before he stays too long.
Howard asked Billy if Ray Charles came over and felt his face. Billy said he did touch his face. Howard said that must be an unbelievable experience. Billy said it is. Howard asked if he commented on his looks. Robin said he must have said ''Well you don't look so bad.'' Billy said Ray told him ''Relax'' because he could tell he was all shook up.
Howard said they have another artist there to perform. He said it's Melissa Etheridge. Howard had her come in and Howard congratulated her on her engagement. Melissa said that they are allowed to get married now. Howard asked if she's ready to take the plunge. She said that she is.
Howard asked why Melissa picked ''Only the Good Die Young'' to perform today. Melissa said that she was inspired by Billy. She said she has played the song millions of times. She said she always loved the songs. She said she always looked to the songs because he was a song writer and he wrote them all. She said she never got to sing this one but this one really resonated with her. She said when she was a senior in high school she had to run out of the room because it hit very close to home. Melissa said if she was ever going to perform the song it had to be for Billy Joel.
Howard said the song was controversial and it was banned by some places. Billy said they banned it at Seton Hall but they ended up performing it twice instead. Howard had Melissa perform the song after that. She played the song herself with a guitar.
After the song Howard said that's how you do it. He said she's fantastic. Howard got back to Billy and said that Pink's mom is crying again. Billy said he liked that version of the song. He said it was pretty gritty. Howard said that's what he wants from his songs. He wants to hear other people interpret them.
Howard said he could tell Billy dug that. Billy said he really liked that interpretation. He said she got it and made it really dirty like it's supposed to be.
Howard asked Billy about his Billy Joel channel there. Howard said he tunes in and hears songs he's never heard before. Billy said he has listened but he only listens for about 20 minutes. He said he's a critic of his own voice. He said he gets tired of himself when he hears himself sing. He said he does that at work and it's enough for him.
Howard asked if he has anything to do with the channel being programmed. Billy said he will become more involved. He said he may even throw in some classical music. He said he wants to get it out there so that's why he wants to do that. Howard said he loves that he wants to be a DJ. Billy said he has a face made for radio.
Howard took a question from an audience member who asked Billy if he prefers playing the bars or the big places. Billy said he doesn't miss the bars. He said it's rough when you're starting out like that. Billy said it's a crap shoot and the audience may not want to hear you. Howard said you get the reaction from the audience though and you learn what's good and what's not. Billy said he has opened up for some big bands and the fans don't want to hear him play. He said you never know how it's going to work out.
Howard asked about the song Vienna and how that came about. Howard told the story as he knew it. He said he was actually in Vienna and he saw a woman sweeping the street. He said his dad told him not to worry about her. Billy told Howard that you have an entire life to live and that's where the lyrics came from. He said we tend to put older people away. Howard said you can't treat it like you're only alive for 5 minutes. It's more of a marathon. Billy said you just be good at what you do and do that until the end. Howard had Billy perform the song after that. Billy screwed it up the first time so he started over again. Billy said the keyboard is screwing him up. He said it's so rinky dink. Howard said they forgot to get a piano. Howard said he thinks it sounds beautiful. Billy tried it again and performed the song ''Vienna.''
After the song Howard said he loves that one. He said the song ''My Life'' is something he gave to Bosom Buddies. Howard asked if that was a big decision. Billy said it was another place for the song to live. He said he hadn't used his songs for endorsements or anything. He said it was just another way for the song to live. Howard asked if he watched the show. Billy said he did, once. He said he's not a sitcom guy. Howard said he knows he likes the History channel. Billy said his girlfriend calls it the Hitler channel. Howard said with the history channel he thinks about Billy going to Russia and what's going on over there right now. Billy said it's scary. He said the leaders there don't necessarily represent the people. He said that we used to think of them as a monolith but the people there are not like that. He said they love America.
Howard asked Billy about going to Russia and how much it cost him. Billy said it cost him over a million. He said he wanted to go over there and do that though. He said he wanted to get back with a film or the album. He said that album never should have come out. He said that they put it out because they had a bit of a shady deal going on there. Howard said that seems to happen with every band. Billy said he had a sore throat over there and he didn't sound his best.
Howard asked Billy why he threw his piano over when he was there. Billy said the people in the audience didn't want to be seen on film. He said they kept the lights low and then when they'd turn on the lights the people would quiet down. He said they looked like deer in the headlights when they turned on the lights. He said it was like Musical chairs. He said he flipped the piano because of that. Howard asked if he thought that was too much. Billy said it worked because it got their attention and it got the audience going.
Howard asked Billy about the song ''Leader of the Pack'' and how he played on the demo for it. Billy said he's not sure it's him on the ultimate version of it. He said he played on a session and it was a big job for him because he was 16 or 17 at the time. He said he knew a guy who played guitar on the song. He said that guy got him to play piano on the demo. He said he's not clear if he was in the hit or just the demo. He said it's hard to tell what the difference is.
Howard asked Billy about the song ''The Entertainer.'' Billy told Howard he used to watch the show Rock Concert and he didn't like the way they treated the bands. He said it was kind of an assembly line. Howard said that Billy thought they were like assembly line artists and that's what the song was about.
Howard asked Billy about the song Angry Young Man and how he was trying to emulate the drums from Wipe Out with that. Billy played some of that for Howard and said it's like that and also like the nightly news theme.
Howard said he had some notes about some songs that he asked about. He asked about the song Movin' Out and if that was about people wasting money on things. Billy said he has seen friend take a job just so they can take care of family. He said it's cookie cutter and it's kind of sad. Billy said that he sees people wasting their lives. He said that they're not doing what they should be doing. Billy said that you end up with some stuff and that's it.
Howard said his mother in law has a question. He said she's there from Pittsburgh. Howard said her name is Judy. Judy asked what his favorite song to sing live is. Billy said probably not one of his own. Billy said he does Beatles songs and Stones songs. Howard said that he never hears those. Billy said he and Fallon did songs at Howard's party. Howard asked what song he could do right now that's a cover. Billy thought about it and started to play ''One For My Baby'' by Frank Sinatra. Billy said he likes the change from doing his own stuff. Howard said he knows he likes the Beatles. Billy said he covers a lot of songs from Cream, Led Zeppelin and bands like that.
Howard took another question from an audience member. The guy asked if he marvels at the songs he wrote years ago as if it were a different person. Billy said yeah. He said sometimes he hates that guy. He said he was writing in keys that someone his age could never sing. Billy said he was in his 20s and he had a different perspective back then. He said he had more to say back then too. He said today he doesn't have that much to say. He said back then he had a lot to say. Billy said people were listening to his lyrics and guiding their lives to them. He said they had to be nuts. Billy said he was a smart ass back then. He said he probably needed a smack back then.
Howard took a question from a woman in the audience. She asked what the most embarrassing thing is that happened to him playing live. Billy asked one of his guys who wasn't in the room. Billy said he has split his pants. Howard asked if he has ever farted on stage. Billy said he has but no one knows. Billy said Howard has a fart thing. Howard said he really does.
Howard asked how they're doing. They said they're great. Howard asked why they were fans. One of the guys said he was born in 1972. He said he came up in the 80s and Billy's music was the only white music that they played on the black stations. He said that it was just beautiful music. The guys said that they were an a cappella music and they loved ''The Longest Time'' and it was the most contemporary song they could sing and still be cool.
The guys said they weren't there last night for rehearsal so they're going to perform without Billy. They also had a guy where who works with them in Vegas. He was in their band early on and he has rejoined them. Howard had the guys perform ''The Longest Time'' after that.
After the song Howard said they did a great job. Howard said Billy must love that. Billy said he does. Howard said that Billy and Jimmy Fallon did that the night they were at his party. He said that they don't hear a lot of harmony in songs these days. Billy said they don't and he's not sure why. He said it's just fallen out of favor.
Robin asked if Rock and Roll is dead. Billy said he doesn't think it will ever die but he doesn't listen so he's not sure what's going on.
Howard had an audience member ask a question. The guy asked Billy about constructing an album and if they're meant to be listened to in order. Billy said he thinks it does matter. He said one song would kick off another song. He said he likes variation so he would have a soft song and then a rockin' song. He said he likes the variation. Billy said he would write one to kick off another. He said it may not match up lyrically though.
Howard had a guy in the audience ask a question. That guy said that Billy tells people in his audience not to take shit from anyone. He asked why that is. Billy said he hasn't done that in a while. He said he did it once when he did a show and the security at the show was too muscular toward them. He said when it's over done it's not right. He said at the end of that show he said ''Hey, don't take any shit from anybody.'' He said it just stayed for a while. He said he doesn't like bullies.
Howard asked Billy if he has written any songs like that. Billy said he has. He said you don't always have to be literal. Billy said he's doing this song because his daughter asked him to. He went right into ''Whiter Shade of Pale''.
After the song Howard said they should put that out on an album. Billy said it sounds better on a Hammond Organ. Howard said the other guys sound great too. Billy said Mark has been with him 33 years. He said Tommy has been with him 25. Howard asked Billy if they did a rehearsal. Billy said they didn't at all. He said it would have sounded better on an organ.
Howard said he's having a fantastic time there. He said they don't normally go out of the studio but for Billy he'd go to Alaska. Robin told him not to get too crazy.
Howard took another question from an audience member. The guy asked Billy which musical genres have played a role in his music. Billy said all of them have. He said growing up he heard them all. He said he didn't get a lot of country music in New York though. He said they'd hear Johnny Cash once in a while. He played some Johnny cash and did his impression of him singing. Billy said he likes Willie Nelson and people like that but he didn't hear a lot of it growing up.
Howard asked Billy if he liked disco. Billy said he was accepting of it but he wasn't into it that much. He said it got to be kind of cookie cutter. He said it was the same beat. Howard asked if he ever wanted to put out a disco album. Billy said he never did. He said he liked Rod Stewart's voice though. Howard asked about him writing a song for Rod. Billy said he did. He said it was called Los Agelenos. Billy played some of the song and sang it as Rod may have done it. Billy said he thinks he asked him to do it but Rod never heard him.
Howard had an audience member ask a question. The guy asked if he ever had offers to play in a band or at festivals that he turned down and now regrets. Billy said he was supposed to play in Rio but they got Prince and told him not to show up. He said he got paid anyway but he didn't have to go.
Howard asked what the arrangement is like with Madison Square Garden. Billy said that this was something that was kicking around for awhile. He said they played a couple of years ago and they wanted him to do this. He said he took 3 years off for his hip thing. He said he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it after that. Then in 2012 he did a concert and people were saying they had to do more. He said they got a lot of compliments and a lot of business came out of it.
Howard asked if he'll keep doing it. Billy said that they're going to do it as long as he can and as long as there is ticket demand.
Billy got back to the guy's question and said there was the thought to put together a super group with Sting and some other guys. He said that the thought about doing that. He said he would like to be in a band instead of just being Billy Joel. He said that never happened but maybe it will some day.
Howard asked more of the guy's question about performing on albums that they wouldn't know about. Billy said he did a Johnny Mathis song.
Howard said he wants Billy to stop riding motorcycles. He said he was in an accident where he injured his thumb. Billy showed that it's like rubber now. Howard said he thought he wiped out in Huntington and people saw his blood and they were like ''Hey! There's Billy Joel's blood.'' Billy said he had hit a woman who went through an intersection and people were trying to get his autograph. He said that his hands were all swollen. He said that he wasn't able to get his own wallet out of his pocket. He said that the cop took out his wallet and told the woman that she had just hit Billy Joel. Robin asked if he's going to give up the motorcycle. Billy said no.
Howard let Billy go to the bathroom and Robin said she's surprised that he went as long as he did. Howard said he doesn't normally do a show in front of a live audience but this has been spectacular. Howard said he may have to do more town halls. He said everyone on the staff has done a great job today. Gary said that Will, Jason, Jon, Steve and Marcy and others have done a lot. Gary said what he gets from Billy is that he doesn't understand how much he means to people. Howard said he thinks that Billy believes he's just a regular guy who got a break.
Howard asked Fred if he's in heaven. Fred said he has missed nothing. He said that they'll never get as good of an interview as this one. Howard asked JD Harmeyer how he feels about this. JD said he ''has no critique and everything is fine. Thank you.''
Howard said they're at the Cutting Room today. He said that Billy is back. He said he's glad he washed his hands. Howard asked what Tony Bennett means to him. Billy said he is a great singer and he hits notes that are in the stratosphere. He said that he is a great musician. Howard said he thought it would be great to come to a conclusion with Tony. He said he does ''New York State of Mind'' that's great. Billy said there are a lot of high notes in the song. Howard said his spin on his lyric is great for him. Billy said he is great.
Howard had Tony Bennett come out after that. Tony came out and performed ''New York State of Mind'' with Billy on piano.
After the song Howard said this was very exciting. Howard thanked Tony for coming in. Robin said ''What a day!'' She asked how they could top that. Howard said he doesn't know. He said this was one of the most special broadcasts he's ever done. Howard said they all loved doing it. He said he hopes they had fun. Howard said they even had cold cuts downstairs. Howard said Tony Bennett just gets it. He said he hit all of the high notes during the song.
Howard asked Billy if he had fun. Billy said he did. Robin asked if he had anything to say that they didn't get to. Billy said he thinks this is a good place to end it. Howard said he wanted to thank everyone in the audience. He thanked the guys in the band and everyone at SiriusXM and subscribers who tuned in. Howard said that he loves Billy and what he's done. He wished him a happy birthday coming up. Howard said he's a very special talent and he cherishes his friendship. Howard said that was it for the Billy Joel Town Hall. He ended the show around 2:40pm. They went out on Billy's ''Scenes from an Italian Restaurant.''
Howard started the show talking about how he was going to get to the Town Hall thing. He said he's surprised at how little press there was about Craig Ferguson stepping down from his show. Howard said so little attention was given to it. He said he's not sure why Craig needs to leave. He said he says that he's leaving because he wanted to but he wonders what the real reason is. Howard said if you think about it he shouldn't care what time he's on. Howard said he has a time slot and he thinks he should keep it and not worry about it. Howard said you may never hear from the guy again if he leaves. He said he doesn't get these guys.
Howard said Carson Daly is the smartest one. He has a show at 2 in the morning and he sticks with it. He said now he's on the Today show too.
Howard played a clip from Craig Ferguson's show where he made his announcement. Howard played the clip and Craig said he's been thinking about stepping down for the past 2 years. Craig said the 2 years is up and he's stepping down as the host of the show at the end of the year. Howard asked what he's going to do now. Robin said he's going to do some game show. Craig said he's going to go do something else and maybe carpentry. Howard said these guys all get nuts. Howard said Craig claims CBS isn't pushing him out.
Howard played more of Craig talking about the audience that he has and how they're very passionate. He said this is his decision to go. He said that you will read other things about his reasons but they are not true. Howard said he thinks what happened is that he feels CBS doesn't have that much confidence in him and they nudges him out. Robin said that they say that he's been pummeled by Seth Meyers in the ratings. Howard said he's not getting pummeled. He said Seth has a little bigger audience. Howard said if it was him he'd just stick around and keep the show.
Howard said time gets all screwed up when you're in L.A. He said he left on Sunday morning at 7am. He said he wasn't able to go to sleep. He said Beth was in bed sleeping no problem. He said she was right out. Howard said he was up all night writing questions for Billy Joel. He said he just wanted sleep.
Howard said he read something when he was out in L.A. He said there was a Friar's club roast of someone. He said Gilbert Gottfried got up and pissed Shecky Green off so much that he quit that Friar's club. Howard said he threatened to beat Gilbert up in a statement he made. Howard said he wonders who the fuck Shecky Green thinks he is. Howard said you don't do that to another comic for being dirty. Howard said that some guys work clean everywhere except the Friar's club. Howard said this guy is criticizing Gilbert over that. Howard said he was very anti-Semitic when he was talking about Gilbert.
Howard said he has a clip from the Ron and Fez show where Shecky was talking about Gilbert. He called Gilbert a ''little Jew'' in that clip. Howard said the guy's name is really Fred Greenfield. Howard said he's putting Gilbert down but he's a Jewish man himself. Howard said he despises his own Jewishness. Howard said the guy can't stand being a Jew so much that he changed his name. Shecky excused himself from the Jew comments by saying that he's a Jew himself.
Howard said maybe Gilbert loves this. He said maybe he doesn't love it and he's thinking ''fuck off'' to Shecky. Howard said this guy isn't even relevant. Howard said if you don't like Gilbert's act then just leave. He said you don't quit the Friar's club and make a big deal out of it.
Howard played more of the clip and Shecky was saying he wishes Gilbert well with his voice overs and all of that. Robin said that's bullshit. Howard said if he wishes him well he wouldn't be trying to sabotage his career. Shecky said that Gilbert is about 3'2'' tall and about 30 pounds. He did a bad impression of Gilbert and did some of his jokes. Howard said he sounds like a jealous guy. Robin said he hasn't gotten one laugh from Shecky. Ron and Fez asked if he spoke to Gilbert. Shecky said he has talked to Gilbert before and his wife is a doll. He said if he saw him after that show he'd pick him up and throw him against a wall. Howard said he's doing that because he's a different kind of comic than he is.
Howard said that's Fred Greenfield checking in. Howard said it's not hard enough being a Jew, this guy has to throw that into his face. Howard said he had to call him a ''little Jew.'' Howard said he's angry at him for doing jokes. Howard said Shecky isn't that funny and maybe someone should throw him into a wall. Howard said he doesn't get where this guy is coming from. Robin asked how old he is. Howard said he's in his 80s. Robin said it might be 80 years of torture.
Howard said he can't understand what this guy Donald Sterling is saying in this clip. He said that he sounds like he's just rambling. Howard said whoever taped it did a wonderful job. He said when they do the news and play clips of press conferences you can't understand it.
Howard played the Donald Sterling tape and Sterling was complaining about his girlfriend, V. Stiviano, taking pictures with black men. Sterling was talking about how there is nothing wrong with minorities but he's complaining about the picture she took with a few black men. Howard said he's not sure what it is that he said that upset people so much. He said he's just trying to figure it out. He said it sounds like the ramblings of a lunatic. Sterling said that she's associating with black people and putting it out there for people to see. Howard said he knows that these feelings are with younger people too.
JD came in and told Howard about another clip he could play. In that one Sterling was talking about white Jews and black Jews and how the black Jews are less than the white Jews. He said they live in a society where they have to live within the culture. V. was telling Sterling that he can change himself. Howard said he still thinks this is just the ramblings of a lunatic.
Howard said what this guy is talking about is something he shouldn't even be in an argument about. Robin said he doesn't want her posting pictures of herself with black people. Howard said this guy is going to have to sell his team even though there's no rule saying he has to. He said the public reaction is going to lead to that though. He said the sponsors are all bailing on him. Robin said when the sponsors bail on the team it hurts the team. She said the owner isn't being hurt the most, the team is.
Howard said this guy is going to have a bunch of penalties handed down to him today. He said that he thinks he's going to have to lay low and have someone else run the team. Robin said she thinks that part of his ownership was handed to his wife in a divorce. Howard said he shouldn't show up at the game or things are going to be weird.
Howard said you'd think a billionaire would lose his hate. He said you'd think he'd just be happy. Robin said the girlfriend is half black herself and it sounds like he's telling her not to advertise that she's half black.
Howard played more of the audio of Sterling telling V. that she can do whatever she wants but don't bring them to the game and don't post on Instagram. Howard said he sounds like a very jealous boyfriend. Robin said he must be afraid of losing her to those guys she took a picture with. Howard said he should just go off into the racist sunset and live there.
Howard wondered if she's going to listen to him and stop posting those pictures. Robin said she thinks this tape is some kind of protest.
Howard took a call from a woman who said yesterday was amazing. She said she has enjoyed the Thursday and Friday Wrap Up Shows. She asked if they could do the music shows on those days or something like that. Howard asked what music show she's talking about. Robin said that's the show where the staff talks about their favorite songs. Howard said they will continue to do those shows. He said they have a bunch coming out in a couple of months. He said they have a lot planned. Howard asked the caller if she's taking photos with black guys.
The caller asked who they miss most out of the Howard TV guys. Howard said he misses Scott DePace the most. He said it took her 20 minutes to get that question out. Howard said he really misses everyone.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he wanted to touch on the Donald Sterling thing. He said if they want to punish the guy the team shouldn't play in their next game. Howard said that his time is running out in the NBA and he will be gone. Howard said this controversy will just keep going and going. Howard said this guy does not have to sell the team but the other owners could make it difficult for him.
The caller said that the coach of the team is black and he should have something to say about that too. He said that he hired the guy to prove that he's not racist even though he is. He said that Doc Rivers should walk out with the team if they walk out. Howard said the guy wants to keep his job. He said that this will die down in the next couple of weeks. He said the guy will go away at some point.
The caller said today is the anniversary of the L.A. riots and this stuff is still going on. Howard said it's over and over again. He said it's like that Star Trek episode where the guy was half white and half black. He said the whole thing is nuts. He said that's the world we live in though. Howard said he had to take a break but they have Pharrell Williams coming in today. He said that he had the number 1 song for like 9 weeks or something. Howard said he's still at number 1. Howard said Joel McHale will be coming in too. He went to break after that.
Howard said they have this new Golden Buzzer thing where a judge can save someone. He said he saved someone by using his buzzer. He said he isn't sure if he should say who it is though. He said Mel B never used her's though. He said Howie used it and so did Heidi.
Howard said Simon Cowell came by the set. He said he was talking to him and his new girlfriend with the baby. He said she seemed very nice.
Howard said people are making a big deal out of George Clooney's engagement. He said he knows his girlfriend. Howard said he was at George's home on New Years Eve and he was walking around with his usual awkward self. He said that George introduced him and he started to talk to her about her job as a Barrister. Howard said she was telling him about what she does and how crazy her job is. Howard said that she's fucking intelligent. Howard said he was talking to her for about an hour and she asked about his job. Howard said he wanted to keep talking about her. Howard said his job seemed irrelevant compared to her's. He said this girl is very worldly, intelligent and beautiful.
Howard said on the set of AGT everyone is British behind the scenes. He said the show is originally from England and he feels like he's in England.
Howard said this 9 year old kid came out and he's really cute. He said he had a British accent and he was talking about how he loves his parents and his country. Then he says he's American. He said he was back stage so long that he picked up the British accent. Howard said it was a really funny moment.
Howard said he doesn't get why people are giving Clooney a hard time. Howard said he said he would never get married but so did he. He said now he's married to Beth.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the show was amazing. He asked whose idea it was to do Whiter Shade of Pale. Howard said he called Billy off the air and told him he wanted to ask him a question to give him a heads up. He said he never sees him do cover songs and he asked what his top 10 are. He said Billy told him some of the songs and he asked him to perform one of them. He said they never hear him do those cover songs. Howard said Billy wasn't sure if he wanted to do that. Howard said he wasn't that keen on the idea but if he was going to do one he'd do Salty Dog by Procol Harem. Howard said he thought that would have been good too. Howard said he wanted him to do Whiter Shade of Pale. Howard said he had a whole list of songs that he could have done. Howard read that off quickly.
Howard said that he threw out Whiter Shade of Pale and Billy wasn't sure. He said he was pretty much sold on Salty Dog but then when Billy came in the room he didn't think the room was right for that so he changed it to Whiter Shade of Pale. Howard said when he said that's what he was going to do he was thrilled. He said it turned out to be such a great moment. Howard said he got really emotional during that moment. Howard played some of the performance.
Howard said that it was like hanging out in a living room. He said it wasn't so rehearsed. He said they didn't rehears the song there. He said they're going to replay the show at some point. He asked Gary when they're going to do that. Gary said they're replaying it 5 times on Thursday starting at 5am.
Howard said it was so interesting to talk to Billy. He said when he was describing the song he wrote about heroin use and the Summer Highland Falls thing it was so interesting. Howard said he loved the interview and he loved people stoping by. Howard said he loved Boyz II Men coming in and doing that song. He said that he can't enjoy the show doing it live but when he listens back to it it's great.
Howard said Gary says he heard Billy turn to the Boyz II Men and ask them to open up for him in Vegas. Robin said she heard that. She said that she saw that they were talking and she heard their part of the conversation. They said they could do anything if they had the sheet music. Howard said that the look on Billy's face was great. He said he was so into it. Robin said he was singing along to it. Howard played some of that performance too.
Howard said he thought Billy was going to cum in his pants over that. The caller said it was great and he hopes Howard went home with no regrets. Howard said he felt really good after that. He said after the first time he interviewed him he felt he missed a lot. He said he thinks he got to it all yesterday. He said it was great they didn't have to take a commercial break. Robin said she thought Billy would need a break at some point but he lasted almost until the end.
Howard asked what the guy's wife said. He said that his friend killed himself a few years ago and she was commenting on his friend and said that he should have killed himself with his friend. Howard said that's a good one. He said that's called fighting dirty. The caller said the fights are brutal. He said she's half Italian and she likes to use bad words in front of the kids and things like that. Howard said when you're in a relationship where there's constant fighting it's so draining. He said that's what some people need and they think it's love. He said for him that would be too much. He said he'd be like ''fuck this.'' He said he can't handle that. He doesn't have the time for it. The caller said he'd rather be at work instead of at home. He said he'd rather listen to Howard during his 2 hour commute to work.
Robin asked if this marriage can be saved. Howard said therapy might help. He said he was married once and the therapy didn't work for him. He said it's worth a shot though. Robin said if the marriage has already faltered then there is less of a chance of coming back. Howard said if you're vested in being with each other he should give it a shot. Howard said it's worth it for the kids.
The caller said that he's only been married for 7 months. He said it's more like a date gone bad. Howard said he should pack those bags and get out. Robin asked if they were fighting before the marriage. He said they did but they had kind of made up after breaking up. He said he thinks he was vulnerable after his dad died. Robin said she agrees with Howard that he should get out. The caller thanked him for letting him talk to him.
Howard said he had to go to break but he has so much to talk about. Robin asked Howard about Simon's girlfriend. Howard said she seemed very nice. Howard said maybe there's some difficulty there if you're married to her or something. Howard said he really has to take a break. They went to break a short time later.
Joel said there's this thing you can wear that gives you a slight shock when you hunch over. Joel said it's coming out this summer. He said he was the first person to sign up for it. Howard told him to try it out and let him know how it works. Howard said it's like those dog fence things that do that shock thing. Howard said he and Joel are going to do that and get shocked whenever they hunch over.
Howard asked Joel why he would take the White House Correspondents dinner. He said Jimmy Kimmel did it and he had to work on it for months. He said it's a no won situation too because people just give you a hard time not matter how it goes. Joel said he's preparing for that. He said he was Letterman the other day and he didn't think it was a good thing for him. Joel said he thinks that his agent has a relationship with the people who put this together. He said maybe someone backed out and they gave it to him.
Howard said Imus did it once and they thought he went too far with his jokes. Joel said Stephen Colbert did it too and they say he went too far too. Howard asked if anyone has vetted him yet. Joel said not yet. He said all they said was don't just make fun of the president. He said there are a lot of senators, congressmen and Jessica Simpson. He said De Niro is going to be there too. He said Chris Christie will be there but Trump won't. He said that's too bad. Howard said no one likes being made fun of. Joel said if you're famous and you're there you will be made fun of. He said it was great when Seth Meyers made fun of Trump and trump got upset.
Howard asked when the show is. Joel said it's this Saturday night. He said he has to sit next to the first lady for 2 hours. He said he has to wait to go up to tell jokes so it's going to be bizarre. Howard asked if he knows what he's going to say to her. Joel said he'll talk about diet and her arms maybe. Howard said he would be nervous about going on and he'd be thinking about what he's going to say. Joel said he can't ignore the first lady. He said he has to say something to her. Howard said he has to concentrate on one thing. Joel said he has no good outs. He said the President gets up and he kills. He said he's really good at this thing.
Howard asked if he's been working on his material. Joel said he has more material written than ever. He said he has two guys working with him. He said he's paying them and other writers. He said he is paying for his family to come out too. He said Kimmel told him he was going to spend a lot. He said he thinks he's up to $40,000 already. Howard asked what Kimmel's advice was. Joel said he told him he would have cut out about 30 percent of his jokes. He said he told him to keep it sweet and short. Howard said it seems like guys go on and on for hours. Joel said Seth went like 15 minutes and Conan did about 17. He said Kimmel did like 20. Joel said that he's the last person up and they've all been sitting there for 3 hours already. He said they just want out.
Howard said that's a no win kind of job. Robin said he'll get a grade the next day too. Howard said it doesn't seem like anyone does it more than once in a row. Joel said he thinks they give someone else a shot. He said that Conan has done it twice but not in a row. Howard asked how long he thinks he'll go for. Joel said he does but they have to cut it in half. He said he has about 25 minutes. He said that he has to talk slow too so he has to slow himself down.
Howard said it's almost like a reading contest. He said that you have to have a good delivery. He said you also want to get it over with. Howard said there are other things to comment on like the Clippers owner and all of that. Joel said he'll be writing up until that day.
Howard said he does this kind of stuff on Talk Soup though. Joel said he does but it's about the Kardashians and not about the president. Howard said it's so hard to be funny and there's so much that could go wrong. Joel said he's going to be preparing like he's going to be in a rocket launch. Howard said he should have a few shots.
Howard asked if he has written anything that's too mean. Joel said he has been told not to go blue. He said that everyone is conservative when it comes to this stuff. He said no one wants to be seen laughing at that stuff. Howard asked if he will say ass. Joel said that Kimmel said ''asshole'' but he did get some Oos.
Howard asked if he watched any of the performances. Joel said he did watch the past few years. He said he wanted to see how the set up was. Joel said he hopes he's half as good as those guys there. Howard said he likes that he's willing to admit that he might blow it.
Howard said that most people watch the show the next day. Joel said the YouTube hits are huge. Howard said he should just blame it on the old tapes if he bombs.
Howard asked what jokes he had to get rid of that he didn't think would work. Joel said he had one about the President being half black and the only one who can tell if he's really half black is Michelle. He said that wasn't that great to begin with but they pulled it.
Howard asked to see the two writers he's working with. Joel had the guys come in. Howard asked if they know what they're doing. The two guys came in and Howard asked if it's easier to just write the jokes and not deliver them. They said it is. One guy was named Boyd Vico and the other was Brad Stevens. Howard asked if they're comedians. They're not. They're just writers. They worked on The Soup 10 years ago and they got fired. Howard asked who fired them. They said it was executives over there. Joel said that he had no clout over there at the time. He said he wasn't able to keep them on. Joel said he later had the executive fired who fired them. They're not back on the show but they do work for Joel. Howard asked how long they've worked on this. They said it's been months.
Gary said that they have contributions from other writers too. He said they go through all of that before it gets to Joel.
Howard asked what other jokes they threw out. They had one about Ronan Farrow. brad told Howard that it was a molestation joke. Howard said that he figured that one would get thrown out right away. Brad said they were arguing about it until last night. He said that one would blow up the room. Howard said that's the one you can't get the audience back from for 10 more jokes.
Howard said they must debate this stuff for months. Brad said he's having dreams about Joel bombing. Howard asked if Joel has any regrets. Joel said he doesn't but he's going to have a huge glass of wine after the show.
Howard asked how often he works on Talk Soup. Joel said that he works on that once a week. He said that he works on Community about 80 hours a week when they're doing that. He said that he's also in the new Adam Sandler movie ''Blended'' that will be out soon. He said he worked with Robin Williams in a movie too. He said Robin plays his father and there are a lot of short and talk jokes in that. He said he's so nice though.
Howard said that he's in some cop film too. Joel said that's with Eric Bana. He said that was great to do too. He said Eric would drop out of his New York accent and the cops would freak out. Howard said they had to shoot a 30 second commercial and he stayed in character the whole time. He said he felt like the biggest douche bag though. He said he isn't trained to do that stuff.
Howard asked the guys to wrap up the whole correspondents dinner thing. He asked if they have heard Joel do his thing. They said they have. They said he's great at it. Joel said he just has to slow down. Brad said he just wants to get to that glass of wine he was talking about. Howard said he'll see how they do and he'll give him a grade.
Howard let the writers go and gave Joel a plug for the white House correspondents diner. Joel asked if Howard has ever been asked to do it. Howard said no way. He said they would never trust him to do that. Howard said that he could never blow up his career though.
Howard said he mentioned Joel to replace Letterman. Joel said he heard about that. He said his phone blew up. Howard asked if he still likes doing Talk Soup. Joel said he does because it's such an easy hang. He said he can do it anywhere because they just do it on a green screen. Howard asked if he got any calls about doing the late night shows after that mention. Joel said he didn't. Howard said that Chelsea Handler has said that E! isn't the right place to be. Joel said that he thought it as kind of a ploy to get a new contract. Howard said he sees that she's getting a Netflix deal now.
Howard asked Joel if he had anything to announce. Joel said he's going to be in the new Star Wars movie. He said he's really not but maybe that will get him something. Joel said they have been very generous to him at E! and he has no reason to walk away.
Howard asked if Community is getting renewed. Joel said that he's not sure yet. He said they'll find out next week. He said that they won their time slot this season. He said that they always wait until the Friday before to announce. He said that they keep losing cast members. Howard said he remembers when they lost Chevy Chase. Joel said that was something. He said that you get along with him like you get along with a bear. Howard said he doesn't see Chevy anywhere. Joel said that it was a grand opportunity for him and he could have gotten his career going like Alec Baldwin did. He said that Chevy hated the hours and he bad mouthed the show in the press all the time. He said then he'd turn to him and say he loves the show.
Howard asked if they kept in touch. Joel said he texted until last summer. He said that this season they finally killed his character off and at the end they started putting cylinders of him in front of them and they were all full of his sperm. He said that they got to the end and they say that he died from dehydration from ejaculating so much. Joel said no one has ever died like that on a TV show.
Howard asked Joel about Craig Ferguson bailing out on his show. Joel said no one has called asking if he wants to do it. Joel said he's under contract for Community so he may not be able to do it if they asked him to. He said Craig was so damn good at it though. He said that Craig is huge in the stand up. He said he makes more money doing that than the late night show. Howard said maybe he really didn't give a shit about the show.
Joel asked Howard if he would do a late night show. Howard said no way. He said he doesn't need that. Howard said there are so many guys doing it. He said they're fighting over a 2 share. He said he has this great gig there on satellite radio and there's no reason to do a TV show like that. Joel said that they get press over clips that get circulated around. Howard said he likes the immediate audience like he has on radio. Joel said Fallon and Seth are doing great now and it's revitalized the whole thing. Howard said that it's endless cranking out bits. He said that it's just not fun. He said Jimmy Kimmel has a farm out there in California. Howard said he's building an ark out there too.
Howard gave Joel some plugs for Talk Soup and Joel asked if he misses E!. Howard said he does kind of. Joel asked if he'll come back and save the network. Howard laughed and said no. Howard gave Joel some more plugs for the White House Correspondents diner. He asked if he's going to comment on the hot chick President Obama was photographed next to. Joel said it has to be pretty recent stuff so he probably won't have a joke about that. Howard suggested one for him. Howard wished him luck and wrapped up the interview. He went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Pharrell is there and he has the number 1 song in the country. He said that song is ''Happy.'' Howard played some of the song as Pharrell was coming in. Howard said he's one of the most successful guys in music history. Howard said he looks exhausted. Robin said everyone wants him.
Howard told Pharrell to sit down and relax. Pharrell asked how Howard is. Howard asked how rich he is now. He said he's really happy for him. He said that he's been producing music for so long that it must feel nice when they recognize him as the lead singer. Pharrell said it's incredibly humbling. Howard said it's a beautiful thing. Howard said he's always produced music and written music for other people. He said it must be hard to see them become a household name while he's in the background.
Pharrell said he's never seen it like that. He said when the executives at Columbia signed him 13 years ago, when it was known as Virgin, they were the ones who said you've just featured on a Daft Punk song and they wanted to change his mind to do a solo record. He said they had the coolest people there on the label and they would always say that he has to be selfish and keep things for himself. Pharrell said that they knew he didn't see it that way. He said he has always looked at it like he always wanted to be an artist in his 20s but that was stomped out by people who said he was weird. He said he got accustomed to that. He said he enjoyed writing and producing for people.
Howard asked if he thinks that Prince needs help with a song since he hasn't had a hit in years. Pharrell said he doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks that he should sit down with him and write a song. Pharrell said that Prince is a genius musician Gemini and he has always done it himself. He said they live by their conviction and that's just the way he is. Howard asked if he really believes in that astrology stuff. Pharrell said he doesn't really but sometimes there are things that show through stronger in some people than in others.
Howard said he thinks Prince needs him. He said he read that he was such a fan of Michael Jackson that he wrote about 8 songs for him. He said he wasn't able to get the songs to him but Justin Timberlake took those songs and made them his first album. He said that album was killer. Howard said he owns that album because it's so good. Howard said Pharrell told Michael that he sent them to him and he had no idea. Pharrell said that he may have heard too much of himself in it and he didn't want to do it. Howard played one of the songs and said that he made Justin relevant again. Pharrell said he wouldn't say that. He said that he likes to point things out with artists. He said he will tell them to try this and try that.
Howard said there are artists who don't handle him very well. He said Madonna had an issue with him. Pharrell said they had a nice little scuffle. Pharrell laughed when Howard asked him what that was about. Howard said he said something to her that upset her. Pharrell said he doesn't remember exactly but the gist of it was about this one take they kept doing over and over. He said he saw her getting frustrated so he tried to get her to deviate. He said she said ''I got it!'' He said that kind of thing kept happening and he told her that she can't speak to him that way. He said they went upstairs and had their battle and then hugged it out.
Howard said Pharrell grew up in the hood but he was one of those nerdy kids. He said he was into things that other kids in the hood weren't into. Pharrell said that's if you listen to the media. He said he likes where the shift is going now. He said there are no lines. He said the lines are often blurred, no pun intended. He said that the average person wouldn't expect. Howard to know who N.E.R.D. was. He said Howard had him on the show a long time ago. He said he has always been a little left of center.
Pharrell said that the Justin songs were something they customized for Justin but they were originally written for Michael. He said that Michael did sing them to him in a trailer once. He said that he'd sing stuff to him while he was talking to him about the songs. Howard asked if he was upset that he never got to work with him on those songs. Pharrell said it was a bummer. He said he got to know him a little bit and he did interview him for a magazine article in 2003. He said that was super surreal for him. He said he had that blown up and put on his wall. Pharrell said he went to Neverland Ranch too. He said that was surreal too. Pharrell said Michael was filming a documentary with Chris Tucker at the time. Pharrell said the golf carts looked like sports cars and things like that. He said he has an entire carnival thing in his back yard with tigers in cages. Howard said that's pretty weird.
Howard asked if Michael ever sang the songs. Pharrell said he did sing them to him. He said he realized what a genius he was. Howard said Justin Timberlake wanted to use Pharrell again but Pharrell didn't want to work with him. Pharrell said that he thinks that hurt their relationship. He said the record company put it in his head that he didn't want to work with him but it wasn't about that. He said that he wanted Justin to hold out for a second and he'd be there for him. He said he had to do something with another band at the label. Pharrell said Justin was willing to do that until he felt like the record company convinced him he didn't care about him and he was being selfish. Pharrell said they maintained their friendship but that was a blow to their momentum in the studio. He said it turned out to be terrible advice to ask him to hold out. He said he wore that for a few years. Howard said they're still friends to this day though. Pharrell said they are. He said he doesn't think that Justin felt like he needed him. He said he thinks he missed out on something he could have enjoyed.
Pharrell said he has enjoyed meeting people during his career. He said he has ambitions and he wants to do these things. Howard said it's like he's forming groups all the time. He said he can go to an artist and throw and idea at them and work with them. He mentioned Britney Spears and played a song Pharrell did with Britney and asked how that came about. Pharrell said that he had someone who made that introduction. Howard said Pharrell wrote and produced this song. Pharrell said he did. Howard said all Britney had to do was sing the song. Howard said he originally wrote it for Janet Jackson. Pharrell said she was in a different place at the time so he understands that it wasn't right for her at the time.
Howard asked Pharrell about people passing on songs and if he gets pissed and takes it to someone else. Pharrell said it's not really like that. He said that's for the gym and not for the ring. He said there is a competitive thing there but he learned in his 30s that the only person he's running against is himself. He said if he keeps his eyes open he enjoys the marathon much more.
Howard played ''Blurred Lines'' and said that was Pharrell's song. Pharrell said that the record company sat on that thing for like 8 months. Howard said the video was what really made that song. Pharrell said it was a female director who put that together. Howard said he went on the air and said that the song was going to be a hit after he saw that video. Howard asked if he was shocked at how successful it was. Pharrell said oh yeah. Howard said that girl in that video was hot. Her name was Emily Ratajkowski. Pharrell said it was a 51 year old woman who directed that. He said she did the Lap Dance music video too. Howard said he has to meet her some day.
Pharrell said that the treatment for the video read like a tutorial. He said that there are a lot of fashion models who are seen topless. He said when it came out it was not safe for work and that turned it up. He said everyone wanted to see it and see what was going on. He said he just enjoyed it. Howard said the song took a while to grow but everyone was signing it and dancing to it. Robin said it was number 1 for weeks. Pharrell said he thanks the people for being open to that song which was something different.
Howard asked if he was shocked that Marvin Gaye's family went after them over that song. Pharrell said he was. He said he's such a fan of Marvin Gaye. He said that there are so many artists who have spoken out about that. He said you can't copyright a sound. He said you can only copyright music and a music notation. He said it's like listening to a song and saying you're going to sue because it's jazz. He said that you can't copyright feel or genre.
Howard asked if they reached out to Marvin Gaye's family. Pharrell said they did. He said they told them to look at the sheet music. Howard asked who wrote that song. Pharrell said he did. Howard asked where he gets his ideas. Pharrell said he had a conversation with someone who was going through that at the moment. He said that he had a nice conversation and it said so much to him that he was struck by it. He said no one has ever expressed things in that way. He said a good girl has bad thoughts like a bad person has good thoughts. He said he thought to himself that he should write a song about blurred lines and taking it out on the dance floor. He said unfortunately you get some people who think you're thinking of women as animals. Pharrell said the guy is trying to domesticate them but that's not what he's doing. He said that he's just ''trying'' to do that. Pharrell said people become fixated on something and won't let it go. He said the other thing is the lyric about you don't need no papers and that means you're not a possession. Howard asked if he wants to scream at people and tell them they don't get it. Pharrell said some people are just wired that way.
Howard asked why he didn't just sing the song himself. Why did he pick Robin Thicke? Pharrell said he's a masterful singer and writer. He said the world doesn't know the talent of that man until you go to see him at a concert. He said he is a beast on the stage. Howard asked if he wrote the song and called Robin. Pharrell said he didn't. He said that he wanted to make something danceable. He said that you used to hear different genres of music on stations in the 80s. He said that doesn't happen now.
Howard asked if he ever worries about burning out when he's working with Miley Cyrus in one studio and Robin Thicke in another. Pharrell said that they have different energies. He said you work the other thing and it gets you going again. He said it gave him more energy.
Howard asked how long it took to write blurred lines. Pharrell said it was probably an hour and a half. He said it really isn't that impressive. He said a song is a conversation. He said you know when it's done when you're done with the conversation. He said if you have more to express then you keep going. He said that they have layers. Howard said he hears what he's saying.
Robin said people want to hear songs over and over again though. She said they're not just listening to a conversation.
Howard asked if he hears the music first. Pharrell said he does. He said then you start mumbling to the music and then the words come out. Howard said that's a gift. He asked if he gets nervous giving a song to someone that could turn out not to be a hit. Pharrell said that Robin got it and where they were going with it. He said he was grooving to it. Pharrell said he can't stop saying how much of a masterful singer and talented writer that guy is.
Howard asked if he's worried that he won't work with him again. He said it's almost like a drug addict. Howard played Nelly's ''Hot in Here'' and asked if he knew that was going to be a hit. Pharrell said he thinks that only he and one other person were jumping around to that song. He said that happened with Blurred Lines too. He said that he and Robin loved it but his manager didn't get it. He said his manager got it about 8 months later.
Pharrell told Howard he doesn't like to repeat things so it's okay if an artist doesn't want to work with him again. He said there are artists who get it.
Howard played the song ''Drop it Like It's Hot'' and asked if he wrote that. Pharrell said that he wrote the chorus and his verse. Howard asked if Snoop is hard to work with. Pharrell said he isn't. He said there are guys who just get it and they never age. He said that Snoop is one of those guys. He said Jay is one of those guys too.
Howard played Gwen Stefani's ''Hollaback Girl'' and asked where they go to write that song. Pharrell said they write it in the studio. Pharrell said they wrote that one in some studio. He said they wrote it at about 5 in the morning. Howard asked why he remembers that. Pharrell said it was awesome so he remembers it. Pharrell said that he wanted to make it sound like people in the bleachers stomping on them.
Howard said Pharrell's high school was unusual. He went to a gifted child high school. Pharrell said that wasn't his high school. that was an after school thing that he did on the weekends and times like that. He said he always thought people were better than him. He said he is a fan of music and he knows what he wants to hear so that's his gift. Howard said he's a writer too though. He asked if they just went in and recorded that Gwen Stefani song that night. Pharrell said that they just went in and jammed until it came out. Howard said they walk out the next morning with a finished song. Pharrell said that's the way it went.
Howard asked if there are people begging to work with him now. Pharrell said he's just been blessed and he's enjoying his work. He said that he can't discount the people who have worked with him. He said ''Happy'' has become a movement. He said people respond to the song by voting for it and downloading and uploading it. Howard said he sang it though. Howard asked if he heard someone else singing it. Pharrell said he did. He said he thought of CeeLo. Howard asked if he approached him to do it. Pharrell said he did do it. He said the powers that be at the time didn't see it fit for him. He said CeeLo had other things going on at the time. Pharrell said he thinks he's dancing around that pretty good. He said CeeLo wanted to do it but some folks on his team felt that the priority was to do other things instead of that one. Howard wondered if he's jumping out the window over that now. Pharrell said he's not at all. He said he's a super stand up guy. He said he loves working with him. He said he is a tremendous talent. Howard said he imagines that he'd be upset about not doing it. Pharrell said he sounded amazing doing the song. He said he burns his version of it.
Howard asked what made him sing the song. Pharrell said the movie company insisted. Howard asked if he likes the sound of his voice. Pharrell said he can't believe it's become what it has. Howard asked if he would go out on tour for that. Pharrell said he's going on tour for sure. Howard said he's never been hotter so he should. Howard asked if everyone wants him to perform that song. Pharrell said he never expected it. He said he was happy as a writer and producer. He said he never expected that people would want to hear his body of work presented by him.
Howard asked if he would go on tour and sing Blurred Lines. Pharrell said sure. Howard asked if that will be part of his tour. Pharrell said sure. Howard asked about some of the other songs he's written. He said he probably wouldn't do the Britney Spears song.
Howard said he just read that a woman died after tweeting that the song ''Happy'' makes her happy. He said she texted while driving and died a minute after she texted that. Pharrell said he thought that was a joke at first but he knows it's real now. He said this song has really hoisted him to heights that he's never seen before. Howard asked if he's really happy. Pharrell said he is happy. He said he has his bad days like anyone else does.
Howard said he read somewhere that Pharrell made love to 8 women at once. Robin said that's physically impossible. Pharrell said that it really is physically impossible. He said he did one at a time. He said he was out of his mind at the time. That was about 10 years ago. Howard said he's settled down since then. He's gotten married and he has a little boy now. Howard asked if the kid is musical. Pharrell said he is. He said he's been playing chords since he was 4 years old. Howard said his name is Rocket. Pharrell said that there were so many songs with the word ''rocket'' in it that he named his son that. He said a rocket is a man made machine that's meant to ascend.
Howard asked if he has a man cave in his home. Pharrell said no. He said the sacred space is in the shower. He said that's where many of his songs came from. Howard said he read that Albert Einstein used to hear things in the shower too. Howard said he heard all of this Howard 100 and 101 stuff in the shower too. He said that it must be so relaxing in there that it gets you thinking. Pharrell said that your imagination runs rampant when the water is running on you. He said it's like sensory depravation. He said the same thing can happen on an airplane. He said some of his best lyrics come in the shower or on a plane.
Howard asked what he does in the shower if he hears something. Pharrell said he memorizes it. Howard asked if he worries about forgetting it. Pharrell said that you try to relate it to colors. He said that most artists do that. He said that's what scientists and mathematicians do too. He said they see things in graphics.
Howard asked Pharrell if he has to vibe with someone in a studio to get a song going. Pharrell said that you have to feel their vibe. He said that vibe is readable. He said that you know when someone doesn't like you in a room. He said they have a voice and if a person has a satin voice his job is to bring the juxtaposition. He said that's what makes it so interesting when he works with someone like Britney. He said it's kind of like the mix in a Reese's peanut butter cup. He said someone did that by accident and makes a lot of people happy. He said it's kind of the same thing working with different artists.
Howard said he read that he got fired from 3 different McDonald's when he was a kid. Pharrell said he wanted Adidas so bad that he had to get a job and make money to get it. Howard said that Billy Joel was talking about that in his song ''Moving Out'' and how people work for stuff just to get stuff. Pharrell said he hated getting up early in the morning. He said he didn't like opening up the store first thing. Howard said he eventually tried to get hired a fourth time and they caught on to him. He said that he had a Chicken McNugget habit too. Pharrell said that's when the nuggets were more chicken like.
Howard said Pharrell has some fashion sense. Pharrell said that's because he had very little to work with when he was growing up. He said he had to make the best out of what he had.
Howard said he read that he ate a bunch of hash brownies in a bathroom at a McDonald's and passed out. Pharrell said that story is not true. He said he does have weed brownies here and there. He said it's not a lot. Howard said he has to be around snoop though. Pharrell said ''Dude...'' he said that those songs he did were out of contact situations. Pharrell said the other day Snoop had an aroma that made him want to crawl under a desk and hide for a while. He said that was Snoops world though. He said that he's going to use that word masterful again. He said his vibe is unbelievable. He said his zen is unbelievable too. He said his energy is unbelievable. He said that they're almost done with his album.
Howard played Daft Punk's ''Get Lucky'' song and asked Pharrell about writing that one. Pharrell said he was in the south of France at the time. He said the guys had asked him to play some of his stuff and he told them that he was inspired by Nile Rogers. He said that he played them some of his stuff and this was all in 2012. He said that they payed him some stuff that Nile Rogers had done for them. He said that he was really tired and wasn't sure if he could write something. He had a drink which was an energy drink. He said he went from being tired right to being all hyper and writing the song. He said the song was metaphorical for his life. He said that he was just making a jam and he was trying to isolate that moment where you want to connect with someone. He said before you even say hello you have a lifetime in a particular moment.
Howard asked Pharrell about how many hit singles he's had. Pharrell said he doesn't keep track. He said he thinks it's around 20 something. Howard asked if he has a place for statues and Grammys and stuff. Pharrell said his mom keeps them. Howard said she must be so proud. Pharrell said his mom and dad are very proud. He said he kept music away from them until his song came out. He said that was ''Rump Shaker.'' He said he kept it quiet because he was so bashful about that kind of thing. He said he'd just a big kid.
Howard read that he's a big Star Trek fan. Pharrell said he can't name all of the characters but he likes it. Howard asked if it's true that he was asked to be a judge on American Idol. Pharrell said they interviewed him but he thinks that the philosophy behind the show he just didn't get. He said he saw a lot of incredibly good people not get on the show. He said that it didn't feel right to him.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks. Howard said that Pharrell's new album G I R L is out now and that has ''Happy'' on it. King asked Pharrell if he is a tofu eater. He said that's not a bad thing. He said he wonders about making an album and why they don't just do the record and why do they sit on it if you're Pharrell. Howard said it is odd. Pharrell said a lot of record companies are afraid. He said Columbia is like one of the last companies that believes in the career. Howard asked if he wishes he could go back to the 80s when the record companies had more power. Pharrell said he just wanted to say he has never eaten Tofu. He said he's more of a Snickers bar kind of guy.
Howard asked if he's into vinyl and not the new digital stuff. Pharrell said he understands that things change. He said that he's sure when vinyl came out that there were people complaining and saying that reel to reel was the best.
Howard asked Pharrell about the way the music industry is dying. Pharrell said he thinks that it'll come back. He said when things become useless they go away and things will change. Howard asked if anyone has come to him asking to help revive the industry. Pharrell said he has. He said he doesn't want to work in a box though. He said he wants to be a man of the people and go out and talk to the people out there. He said he doesn't want to be that executive type. He said that if you work at Krispy Kreme you don't bring home doughnuts. He said that he doesn't go to clubs that much. He said he will go once in a while though.
Howard asked if he writes his songs down with pen and paper. He said that John Lennon wrote on paper bags. Pharrell said he writes mentally and sometimes puts things in his phone. Howard said he can't remember it all though. Pharrell said that Howard has a general outline and he sees those headings and behind those headings are a bunch of questions or statements that hold connotation in his mind or heart. He said he goes back and quantifies those things. He said those things are the things he remembers to ask and the things he doesn't are things that are less important.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he went to high school with Pharrell. He said he remembers him in home room and how he just beat pencils all day. He said they're all glad he did that though. He said it was annoying at the time. Pharrell said he did that and he appreciates everyone who supported him. He said that this isn't his doing. He said he just does music. He said people supporting it is why he's able to have this conversation with Howard and Robin.
Howard took a call from Wheels who said that Kanye goes out and calls him self a genius. He said he's not a genius. He said that this guy Pharrell is a genius. He said that he is a miserable person and when he puts on that song ''Happy'' he is almost happy. Pharrell thanked him for that and said that happiness is a state of mind. He said it's a natural born liberty that you have access to. He said the song has humbled him to a level that he looks at things differently. He said it has superseded everything. He said he bows before the people. He said they're the ones who did this to him. Howard said that's very humble. Howard gave him another plug for his album G I R L and said go out and get it.
Howard played ''Come Get It Bae'' off the new album. Pharrell said that the women in his video for that song are all 40 or older. He said they still got it. Howard said he likes the hook in this song. He said he has an endless wealth of music in him.
Howard asked who the coolest person is to work with. Pharrell said that they're all cool. Howard said he's awesome. He said he's a good dude too. Howard said he still doesn't know how that 8 girls at once thing works. Pharrell said it wasn't at once. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard said the guy's name is Damon Feldman and here's what they threw at her. Damon told Tan Mom that things have been going great and he has some offers. He said he had a 12 year old girl with leukemia. He said she has to fight from a wheelchair. Tan Mom said no to that. Howard said he was so proud to hear her say no to that. Damon asked if she would fight a bear. Tan Mom said she would. Damon asked if she would fight a dead Shirley Temple. She agreed to that. Damon asked if she would fight Sal's wife and the winner gets to sleep with Sal. She said she would but she didn't want to sleep with Sal. Damon asked if she would fight Oscar Pistorius. She said yes. Damon asked about fighting Anna Nicole Smith after digging her up and making her into a robot. She agreed to do that one. Damon asked about fighting a pregnant Octomom. Tan Mom said no way to that one. She won't fight a pregnant woman. Damon asked if she would fight 5 black orphans. She said she would not do that. Damon asked about fighting the grand dragon of the Ku Klux Klan. Tan Mom said no way to that. Damon asked about fighting Abe Vigoda with a diaper on. She said she didn't care about that one. Damon threw a couple more at her and she was up for a lot of them.
Howard said that's pretty good. She said that it's very random though. He said that Tan Mom is actually fighting Milf Mom on June 21st in Atlantic city.
Robin started her news talking about seeing ''20 Feet From Stardom'' which was about background singers. Robin said that one thing that stood out was about what they were singing in the Rolling Stones song ''Gimme Shelter''. Robin had a clip for Howard to play. Howard played it and didn't get it. Robin said it's actually ''Rape, murder... it's just a shot away.'' Howard said he never knew that. Robin said she didn't either.
Howard said yesterday they told Gary to keep his lips sealed because Billy started playing his teeth accidentally.
Robin read a story about Paul Simon and Edie Brickell getting arrested yesterday. Howard said he thought that one of them had called the cops but it turns out Edie's mom called them. They were having an argument about something and Edie pushed Paul and Paul pushed back. That led to the cops showing up and arresting both of them. Robin had some audio of Paul speaking in court about how neither of them are afraid of the other.
Robin read a story about Joan Rivers getting into some trouble while they were away. Joan and her daughter were on a show and she made a joke about the kidnap victims in Cleveland. Joan said that the girls who were kidnapped had more room than she does in her apartment. Robin said that got back to the kidnap victims and they're demanding an apology from Joan. Joan said they got to live rent free for 10 years when they asked for the apology and that kept going. Joan said that she was just joking and everyone should just calm down. Howard asked if they have calmed down. Robin said she's not sure.
Robin read a story about a Yankees pitcher who had pine tar all over his neck. Robin said he's a bad cheater. Robin asked why he would do something like that. Howard said he doesn't know. Robin asked how Fred feels about that. Fred said the guy is just stupid. He said they all do it but he just got caught. Fred said as long as no one sees you do it it's fine. He said that's like an unwritten rule. Gary said the guy doesn't even speak English.
Howard said Ronald McDonald got a make over. Howard said he told JD that he dresses way worse than his idol does now. Howard said Ronald dresses way better than JD at this point.
Robin read a story about Donald Sterling, the owner of the Clippers. Robin said he didn't want his girlfriend having pictures of herself with black people on Twitter. Robin said that the fallout continues with this story. Robin said Victor Willis wrote the song ''YMCA'' for the Village People and he's asked that they don't play that song during Clippers games anymore. Robin said the NBA is going to have a press conference today about this whole thing. Robin said the NAACP is reacting to the comments and she had some audio of that. Robin said that Donald Trump is defending Sterling and saying that he was set up. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about that story. Howard said he's not really defending the guy. He said he just said that his words were despicable. Howard did a live commercial read after that. Robin had more about that story after the commercial. She had some audio clips for Howard to play. She had one of Metta World Peace talking about how Sterling should get help and become ''un-racist''.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who told Howard that he got on the list of the most important people in show business. Howard said he was put on the radio Mt. Rushmore too. Howard said this is according to CRN International. Howard said that Robin must know what CRN is. Robin said no. Howard said they asked if they had a Mt. Rushmore they would put these people on it. He said they came up with Paul Harvey, Marconi, William S. Paley and Howard Stern. Howard read what they wrote about him in that article. Robin thought that was beautiful. Robin asked what CRN is. Howard said he prefers not to tell her. He said she's one of the few people who doesn't know what that is. Robin said she hopes they make a physical Mt. Rushmore. Howard said he wasn't excited about it until he saw that it was CRN. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin brought up Donald Trump again saying that he was defending Donald Sterling by saying that the girlfriend was a bad girlfriend. Howard said he doesn't think he defended anyone. Robin said he defended the man but not his statements. Howard and Robin went back and forth with that for a few seconds.
Robin read about an R&B performer, Tank, who is calling off his performance at the Clippers game thanks to what Sterling said. Howard said he feels bad for the players. Howard said that if the guy is a decent guy he'll sell off the team. He said he should step away from it. Howard said the guy is 81 years old or something so he doesn't need that bother. Robin read more about the controversy around that whole story and she had some audio clips from some of the late night shows where they joked about it. She had clips of Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Craig Ferguson talking about that.
Robin read about Billy Joel admitting he has tried heroin. He admitted that during his Town Hall yesterday. Robin said he told interviewer Howard Stern that it was a one time deal in Amsterdam. Howard said he saw that in the news yesterday. He said they singled out Melissa Etheridge's performance. Howard said they were all fun though. Howard played some of Melissa's performance of ''Only the Good Die Young'' from yesterday's show. Howard said he was thrilled about Pink and Idina coming on the show. He said it was great with Boyz II Men too. He said then Tony Bennett came on. Howard said it seemed like just the right amount of people.
Howard asked when he's making his announcement about the birthday show. Gary said on Monday. Howard said that everyone should tune in to hear his big announcement about that. Howard said he was up on stage at AGT and saying ''Peace and love, peace and love.'' Howard said no one knew what he was talking about. Then he was doing his Cousin Brucie impression and the producers thought he was on drugs. He said they looked at him like he was crazy. He said he was trying to bring back the Cousin Brucie ''Eeee!'' but the audience was dead silent.
Robin read a story about Seaworld coming up with a new piece of gear for the trainers of the whales. They have a vest that has an air pocket in it so they can breathe for a short time if they're stuck under water. Robin said a woman was killed by a killer whale back in 2010.
Howard read some email and people were writing in about bringing Sternac back. Howard said that they were also writing in about some of the interviews they did before he was off. Howard had some email about the music that they play at the start of the show. Howard said someone asked if they would make them available for purchase. Howard said they won't do that but they will play them at the start of the show.
Howard had some mail about Hanzi. Some people asked for no more Hanzi and some asked for more. One guy said that he could listen to Hanzi and Eric the Actor all day long. Howard said he knows Eric was due for an operation but he's not sure what happened with that.
Robin read a story about Oprah's favorite novel being ''To Kill a Mockingbird.'' Howard said he thinks he read that once. He said he thinks he read the actual book and not the Cliff notes. Robin said the book is coming to Kindle soon. Robin said the author is still alive and they're giving permission to bring it to Kindle. Gary said that's the only book the woman ever wrote. He said the rumor is that Truman Capote ghost wrote it for her. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about AOL telling its mail subscribers to change their passwords. Robin said that she got tons of spam the other day and it was from other people in her AOL account. Robin said that they say that the whole system may have been hacked. Robin said they say that they're working with the federal government to find out who did this. Howard said he got a bunch from Fred. Fred said he closed his account. He said he is done with that. Howard said he just deleted it. He said he could tell it was bullshit.
Howard said he saw that Dr. Oz is suing someone for using his name. Howard said he hated Dr. Oz because he hated getting mail from him. It turns out it wasn't him.
Robin read a story about how in Saudi Arabia if you run a red light you're committing a sin. Robin said that a lot of people have died over there due to running red lights.
Howard said he read that James Franco made a nude painting of Seth Rogen. He said that got him thinking about doing that with Fred. Howard said James will be on the show tomorrow. He said David Spade is coming in too.
Robin read about Netflix working a deal with Verizon and Comcast to get shows to their customers more quickly. Howard said he still has to watch the second season of House of Cards. He said he's got so much to do. Howard let out a fart around that time too. Howard said he didn't know what that was but you may want to stay about 50 feet away from him. He said that emanated from the Mt. Rushmore of radio.
Robin said that E-cigarettes are being treated like regular cigarettes in New York City. Robin said that they are banned in certain places just like cigarettes. Howard said he's not sure if they're bad for you or not. Robin said they're trying to get kids not to smoke them so that's why. Howard said he doesn't know anything about those things.
Robin read a story about a girl who was stabbed to death in a school in Connecticut. Robin had some audio from a tribute for the girl they had at the school. Howard said he can't imagine what the parents are going through. Robin said a 16 year old is accused of killing this girl. Robin said that they're looking to see if this had to do with her turning him down when he offered to take her to prom.
Robin said a violent tornado outbreak in the south west has killed at least 12 people. Fred played a Jackie laughing clip. Robin told Jackie to stop it. Robin said Al Roker is broadcasting from out there where the tornados hit. Howard said Al was supposed to be at the Billy Joel thing but he had to go out to the tornado thing. Gary said that they're holding off on the app that Al was going to promote. Will said it's called Al's Weather Rokies or something like that.
Robin read about Willie Nelson becoming a black belt. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Robin said he's turning 81 this week. Howard said it might be an honorary thing. Robin read about how he's a master in this type of combat. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 10:20am.
Steve asked if Jon got choked up when Pink's mom was upset. Jon said he didn't cry or anything but he thought it was nice.
Steve asked Gary if he got choked up. Gary said he thought it was a nice moment but he didn't get choked up. He said he got a little emotional in a different part of the show. He said when Billy did that Frank Sinatra song it got to him because it was his father's favorite song. He said he had an interesting moment when
Jon said that you could tell that the artists there were all choked up being there. He said they all had a good feeling coming away from that. Jon said it seems like things went smoothly with the whole show. Gary said they're getting good at them so there will probably be more of them. Gary said he was just taking to Howard about doing another one.
Jon asked if Howard is getting more comfortable doing them. Gary said he thinks yesterday went really well because of Howard and Billy's friendship. Gary said he wanted Billy to walk away happy. He said he thinks Howard wanted to impress his friend Billy. He said he felt that pressure on his shoulders. He said his hope is that this is something they can be really proud of. Jon said he thinks they ere very happy. He said he had to deal with them all day and they seemed satisfied. Jon said the show will replay throughout the day on Thursday on Howard 100. He said he thinks everyone will enjoy it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the show was great but it seemed like there were a couple of hitches. He said Idina didn't seem to put a lot of time and effort into her performance. He said she kind of screwed it up. Gary said she was there early and put a ton of effort into it. He said sometimes things just don't work out. Gary said they had a problem with the teleprompter. He said that Billy didn't know it. He said Idina was very prepared and things don't always go perfect. Jon said she really did work hard to do it right. He said one of Billy's guys turned to him and said that's what makes these things good. Jon said that it humanizes it. Gary said he would rather that it didn't happen but she handled it like a true professional and just moved on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that maybe this is something Howard could do if he retires from his morning show. Gary said there will always be the daily show. He said thinks these type of shows will pop up when it's a good time to do them. The caller said he figured maybe Howard could do that when he retires. Gary said that he hasn't said he's retiring so there's no way of knowing that.
Jon said you could hear that he wrote those Justin Timberlake songs for Michael Jackson. He said he has that ability to write songs for people like that.
Jon asked Gary about how producers are getting a lot of credit these days. Gary said that it's interesting to hear scratch tracks of songs and how the producer makes them great. Jon said that Pharrell sings ''Happy'' and that worked out for him. It's his most popular song. Gary said that Billy Joel was talking about how he was an accidental rock star. He said he wrote and produced some songs and then the record company told him to go out and perform them. Gary said he thinks that Billy gave a lot of credit to the record company. He said he was shocked to hear that he didn't pick the songs they put out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he enjoyed how in depth the interview was with Pharrell. He said that he thinks that it's great that he's so open to the other artists. He said he's really enjoying this stuff. He said he loved the Billy Joel thing. He said his son plays piano so he had him listening to the interview. He said he had to thank them for doing that. Jon thanked him for the call and went to break after that.
Jon asked how she thinks he'll do at the dinner. Gillian said that Joel is very good under pressure and she thinks he'll do great on the White House Correspondents dinner. Gary said he's going to the dinner. Gary said he gave Joel his business card and asked for his email address. He said if he needs to call in on Monday to address anything they can get him on quickly. He said he thinks Joel may have taken that the wrong way. Gary said he had to do it though. Gillian said she's sweating just thinking about it. She said she's nervous for Joel.
Gary said in the grand scheme of a lifetime it's great to get to sit next to Michelle Obama. He said that she might have a sense of humor that someone else might not. Jon said he Michelle on Parks and Recreation the other night. Jon asked if Gillian thinks that she might appear on Community. Gillian said she's not sure they're at that level but they did have some great guests like Vince Gilligan on the show.
Jon asked how it feels when Dan Harmon returns to Community. Gillian said that it was a triumphant thing. She said that it's thanks to Joel McHale too. She said she thought they did some of their best episodes this season. She said it was really exciting to do the show.
Gary asked what the height difference is between her and Joel. She said it has to be a foot at least. She said she has to stand on her toes or on boxes. She said it's that way for a lot of the women there on the show.
Jon said that Joel was talking about working with Chevy Chase and how they wrote him out of the show this season. Gillian said that they actually got canisters of sperm as wrap gifts this year. She said that she never did open her's though. She said she's terrified to know what's in them.
Gary said he had a moment with Howard yesterday where he felt really bad. He said Howard could have hit his head in the basement of The cutting Room. Gary said he has never experienced that like Howard has. Gillian said she never has either. She said she never will. Jon said he's 6'2'' and he hasn't had a lot of that but he has had some.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why Joel McHale can get away with busting the E! network's balls and others cant. Gary said he thinks it has to do with the ratings of the show. Gary said they had an interesting conversation in the green room. He said they were at E! for a long time and they were talking about the people that they shared when they were there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he is so happy Community came back. He said that it turned into a great show and he wanted to congratulate them on the show. Gillian said she's happy they didn't cancel it too.
Gary asked how much she has to correct people on the pronunciation of her name. She said she doesn't do it that much. She said some people say ''Jillian'' but it's with a hard G. She said she doesn't hold it against anyone. She said when she was in kindergarten she discovered that people are going to say it wrong. She said there's no reason to argue about it. Gary said he has to struggle with his last name every day. He said that Pharrell just said his name wrong.
Gillian said that she knows people think she's the pretentious one but it's really her mom. Jon said that Gillian is working with Elisabeth Banks in ''Walk of Shame.'' Gillian talked about that a little bit and explained what the movie is about.
Jon asked if Gillian would say that Joel McHale is a humble guy. She said she would say that. She said that he is humble but he loves expensive watches. Gary said Joel said today that they work about 80 hours a week on Community. Gillian said that's about it. She said that they work so long that they start getting facial twitches. She said they'll work 18 hour days at times. She said that they had one actress who would sleep in her trailer instead of going home. Gillian said she would probably do the same if she didn't live so close.
Jon asked how frustrating it is when you don't know if you're being picked up until the day before the up fronts. Gillian said it would be nice to know what she's going to be doing for the next year of her life. She said she just rolls with it though.
Jon asked if she prefers TV or movies. She said that TV is so good these days that she doesn't have a preference.
Gary said he was looking at her bio and she was on the pilot of The Good Wife. She said she played an assistant on the show. She said she shot that right after Community and if Community hadn't been picked up she would have been on The Good Wife. She said she read the script for that show and they had such an amazing cast. She said she would have been very lucky to be on that show too.
Gary asked if she is really a huge pro wrestling fan. She said she is a fan. She said her friend Alan took her to see it for the first time. She said that is not a lie on her Wikipedia page. She said there is a thing about her being married to Gary Marshall that's not true. She said that there is thing they did on Comedy Bang Bang where someone says he's Gary Marshall and he tries to marry her.
Jon asked what she has to plug. Gillian said that Walk of Shame is out May 2nd. She said you can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @GillianJacobs. They went to break after that.
Jon said Joel is very funny. He asked Gary what he's expecting going to this dinner. Gary said he's going to get contacts for the show. He said that he thinks that Joel will do fine. He said he's all about it and he's pulling for the guy. Jon said that Gillian and Joel are great together on the show. Gary said Joel is a really nice guy too. He said that you think he's snarky like he is on TV but he's really not like that. Jon said he thought he was a great guest today.
Jon got back to Pharrell and brought up something he said about leaving certain things in the gym instead of letting it out. Gary said he gets mad at some people and he just runs it out. He said that's the kind of stuff that he gets out of his system when he runs. He said he is the master of writing emails that he never sends. He said he'll write it to get it out of his system and never send it. He said he holds a grudge with some people. He said he will go back and look at them to remind himself of what they said about him. He
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Pharrell seems like a real nice dude. He said that he had the break out last year and he still seems to be nice and he doesn't hold a grudge against anyone at all. He also said he heard that Artie got fired by DirecTV and asked if they got picked up. Jon said he thinks that he had his last show but he's not sure if he got fired or not. Jon quickly got back to Pharrell and said it's great that he's getting his due now.
Jon asked Jon Leiberman if he could have a hit with Pharrell behind him. Leiberman said no way he could have a hit with anyone behind him. Leiberman said that his music career is in the past. Gary said he's not sure that's even true. Leiberman said the attempt to have a career was in the past. Gary said not that long ago it wasn't that much in the past in his head. Leiberman said that he's saying in the recent past he said he was taking a leave from his music career.
Jon asked if Pharrell could bring him out of that. Leiberman said he doesn't think so. He said he's getting out of the music business.
Jon asked what Leiberman has in the news. Leiberman ran down a few story headlines they have for today's news. He mentioned a story about how Bobo wrote a letter to President Obama saying he'd like to give his kids driving lessons. Gary wondered if Bobo has any idea that he's on a ''list'' now. Leiberman said he's sure he has no idea. Jon wrapped up and ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started the show taking a call from Eric the Actor. He asked if he had an operation or not. Eric said it was just an evaluation appointment. He said he just went in and had an Echocardiogram and the doctor told him to come back in 6 months to get another test. Howard said he loves when he asks him to clear it up and it's hard to understand. Howard said that answers what they asked yesterday about Eric. He said Eric is fine. Howard said all he heard was ''Eh, er, uh, ur, uh...'' Howard and Fred did their impressions of Eric for a few seconds.
Howard said he can't stand wearing his glasses anymore. He said he's getting a headache from the arms on them being pushed in by the headphones. He said he might have to take them off. Howard said he may have to get headphones that you put in your ear.
Howard asked what TV show Eric is on tonight. Eric said it's called Legit and it's on FXX. He said it stars Jim Jeffreis. He gave the producers names too. Eric said you should check local listings for times. Howard gave him another plug and thanked him for the call. Eric said if your cable provider doesn't have the channel then it'll be on FXX.com. Fred said it's on at 10 o'clock tonight. Howard said that it's a whole thing with him. Howard said Eric is fine and well.
Howard took a call from King Of All Blacks who asked if Donald Sterling loses any power now that he's been banned from the NBA. Howard said it does. He said that it gives warning to other owners about what they can say. He said it's a warning to the players too. He said you make sure if you have a mistress that she's not recording you. King said that after all of the money that guy gave that bitch he'd want to slap her. Howard said they know he's into doing that.
King asked what kind of car he was in on that AGT shoot in L.A. Howard said he isn't usually into cars but this one was really nice. Howard said he was in California taping AGT. He said that they wanted him to come in an hour early so Howie could take him on a tour of the area. Howard said they did that for an hour and that's not Howie's fault. He said that's what the producers wanted. Howard said they shot a commercial the day before too. Howard said they did a lot of judging out there but they did a lot of other stuff too.
Howard said they wanted him to arrive in a different car. Howard said he didn't know what that meant. He said they showed him a picture of a couple of cars and they wanted him to drive it or have someone else drive it. Howard said he wanted to drive it in himself. He said he gets to the set and they have 3 cars sitting there. He said they're all luxury cars. He said he had to drive it around the block. He picked one that he liked the look of. He said it was an Aston Martin. He said that car was $350,000. He said he wondered who would pay that for that car. Howard said he wouldn't personally do that but he has never driven anything that felt like that in his lief. He said the key goes into the dash and then you push buttons for everything. He said you step on the break and put it into park. He said the car revs beautifully by itself. He said the feel of the car is amazing. He said Robin should go in and test drive one. He said it's so finely engineered. He said he sat with the guy who has the dealership. He said he had a metal card for a business card. He said that the card was probably $100. Howard said he told the guy he's not buying a $350,000 car. He said he isn't into cars but this was the greatest thing he has ever driven.
Howard asked why people spend money on a car like that. He said the salesman said it's all about arriving in it. Robin said she was in a restaurant out there once and it was all about the car.
Howard said King would have died seeing this car. King said Howard looked good in the car. He said he didn't look too tall or anything. Howard said he's too tall for it. He said he has a long torso. He said he was sitting in it and the top of the windshield is right where his eye line is. Howard said it was like Big Bird was driving the car. He said there's no way he could drive that thing for long. Howard said his head was sticking out of it. He said he'd have to have the windshield raised.
Howard said the whole world is too small. He said the hotel he was staying at was a great hotel. He said the shower head was up to where his nips are. He said he had to almost get on his knees to wash his hair. He said he was dreading taking a shower. He said you shiver not getting any water on you. Howard said even his wife didn't fit under this thing. He said they were marveling at it. Howard wondered if they don't know that people are over 6 feet tall. He said they won't raise the shower head. He said they talked to Adam Carolla about that when he was on. Howard said he doesn't get it.
Howard asked King if he was done. King said his phone cut out. He said he wanted to ask him about some glasses. Howard said he has to get out of this. He wanted to talk to him about Beth's feet too. Howard said he's not into feet. He said he doesn't have time for a long conversation. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard said he wanted to get to the Clippers and Donald Sterling. He said that there's a basketball team in Los Angeles other than the Lakers. He said that was a surprise to him. He said he didn't even know they existed.
Howard said the more he reads about this guy the more he finds that the guy is a jackass. He said that he's not sure why people are just waking up to him now. Howard said the Village People banned their song YMCA from being played at their games. Howard said he's all for that because who wants to hear the Village People anyway? Howard said that the guy who wrote the Chicken Dance is thrilled because now his song will be played more. Howard played that awful song for a few seconds.
Howard said they were applauding the lifetime ban of this guy and he pointed out that he may only have 3 years left in him. He said he thinks the guy will hold out and try to own the team and just not go to the games. Howard said he's going to twist and turn for a while. He said he thinks they're in for some fun. He said he is banned. Robin said they also have a $2.5 million fine. Robin said that he has no reason to pay that fine. She said he's already banned. Howard said that seems like a lot of money to him. He said he's all for it because the guy is a dick but it's a lot of money. Howard said he's going to take a break and get to more stuff after that.
Howard said the Pope washed some people's feet. He had some audio of CNN covering that. They had some audio of Ham Hands Bill playing the part of the Pope. Howard said he didn't know the Pope had an accent like that. Robin said that is terrible.
Howard said he has some springtime sex tips from Ronnie. He said it may make you throw up. Howard said this stuff is in his head. He said it doesn't matter if he's making it up or not. He played one where Ronnie suggested dying your woman's pussy hair green so it's like sticking your face in an Easter basket. Howard wondered if he had to sit through the annoying announcer voice every time. Howard said every time he says pussy you want to throw up. Robin said she's not sure what it is about that. Howard said just look at him.
Howard said Easter baskets aren't greet. Gary said he's talking about the green grass in them. Howard said you need a translator for him.
Howard played another one of Ronnie's tips. He said the announcer makes him angry. In that one Ronnie suggested sticking candy in your woman's pussy and you hide the girl in the bushes and wait for people to find her. Then you spread her out on the lawn and everyone eats it out of her.
Howard said when these things are done he listens to them at home when Gary sends them to him. He said when Beth hears them she wonders what the fuck they are. Howard said they are an appetite killer so they help if you're on a diet.
Howard played another one where Ronnie talks about buying Matzo and sticking it in your girl's asshole and eat it out of there. Howard was grossed out again. Howard said you can imagine his shock when Howie Mandel called and asked if he could hire Ronnie for a TV show. Howard said Howie thinks he's going to be a TV star with that strip club show. Howard said it's amazing to him that there are any unsuccessful strip clubs out there. He said that Howie thinks there are plenty out there that Ronnie could help out with.
Howard played a clip of Richard out on the street talking to people about Ronnie and his strip club show. Richard asked what they think this guy is doing on his show based on his look. One guy said he looks angry so it must be something angry.
Howard said if he wanted to improve a business he'd put naked women in it. He said he's not sure why anyone would need Ronnie. He said Ronnie is suggesting painting a woman's pussy hair green. Robin said he's always shoving stuff in a woman's ass or pussy. Howard said he's not going near anyone's asshole.
The caller asked if Pharrell is as nice and humble as he seems. Howard said he spoke to him at a party last year and he was very sweet. He said he thanked him for helping make his song a number 1 hit. Howard said all he did was talk about how he liked it. Howard said he seems like a really humble guy. The caller said she thought the interview was great. She said she learned a lot. Howard said he's glad she enjoyed it.
Robin said the Billy Joel interview reverberations are still coming. Howard said he had such a great reaction to it. Howard said he would sit and listen to all of the musical performances again if he had time. He said they're replaying the whole thing tomorrow on Howard 100.
Howard said they all know Evil Dave. He said he sounds like David Letterman. He said he always fucks up sentences when he's on. Howard said he had one of Dave trying to say Flavor Flav. He had a hard time trying to say ''Caucasians'' and then he called Flavor Flav ''Florra fawn.''
Howard said whenever they do a bit with Dave they tell him not to ad-lib. He said they only want him to read approved lines. Howard said they asked him not to do any of his own lines last time. He said he slipped one in at the end of the interview. Howard replayed that clip and Evil Dave said he's going to be 67 that weekend and if your erection lasts more than 4 hours you go to the mall and make sure you bump into people, particularly big, sweaty security guards with handcuffs.
Howard said he was livid that he did that. Howard said he wants the show to be funny and that's why they have him do their lines and not his own. Howard said they turned off the microphone after that. He said he has audio of Dave cracking himself up off the air after the microphone is off. Howard played the clip of Dave laughing at his own joke. He said he didn't think Howard was expecting that. Dave was laughing like it was the funniest thing ever. He said his poise was much better this time too.
Howard said Dave is funnier off air than he is on. Howard said he was so proud of that line. Howard replayed the clip of Dave cracking himself up. Robin said that is the best.
Gary came in and said this goes back to the K-Rock days. He used to come in with his own jokes and he would ask him not to use them. He said he always did though. Howard said that guy is something else. He said he has audio of him preparing for the show. He drinks soda and chips before he comes on. Howard played the clip and Dave is sipping and slurping his soda. Howard said that's real too. He said they can't let him go when the real Dave retires. He said he needs this stuff. He said he's like a zoo animal.
Howard asked where this was held. Wolfie said it was outside of Philadelphia. Howard played one of the interviews with a guy who was asked what he thinks about the Legos being for kids. The guy said that they're for all ages. He was asked about the girls who show up there and the guy said if he dated someone for awhile he'd break it to them that he's into toys. Howard said this guy sounds very, very different. Wolfie said he's a simple man.
Howard played another interview where a guy was asked what a Lug is. He said that's a group of people who get together to build Legos. Howard said just imagine you're that age and you're that useless. Howard said that's what the internet is all about. He said he doesn't like it. Howard said no wonder China guards the internet. He said they want people to get out and work.
Howard played another clip where Wolfie was asking about what an AFOL is. That's an Adult Fan of Lego. Wolfie asked the guy what he would build if he wanted to represent Jews. The guy said maybe he'd build something to recreate a concentration camp or something like that. Howard said he'd like to see that. Howard said he's not the only one who wanted that. Howard said another dude had a similar concept. Howard played that clip as well. The guy said he wouldn't mind seeing a holocaust recreation.
Howard played another clip of a guy talking about being an AFOL and how he's moving because he has so many Legos. He said his bedroom is full of Lego. Wolfie asked if he has ever done anything sexual with them. The guy said they're too sharp to do that.
Howard thanked Wolfie but Wolfie asked if Letterman has ownership of the two time slots at CBS. Howard said he thinks that CBS won't want that if he's not on. He said he thinks that was part of his deal while he was working there. Howard said he has to get going because James Franco is there. Howard said he's an interesting guy. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that James Franco is there. He said he's in Of Mice And Men on Broadway right now. Howard said he wrote a book of Poetry too. Howard said 3 of them are about Lindsay Lohan. He said he was trying to emulate another poet's work and use Lindsay as a mask to talk about certain states of being in the limelight and things like that. Howard asked if she's his muse. James said that there is one poem about her and one that includes her. He said that she lived at Chateau Marmont when he was living there so he knew her.
Howard said he asked James about banging her and he said that he didn't. Then a list came out and she claimed that she had banged James. James said that he's not sure how that all came about but maybe she owned up to it. Howard said he figured James was a gentleman and he didn't want to say he did it. He said meanwhile she's letting it out that she did. Howard asked if he's too embarrassed to admit it. James said he will swear on anything that he didn't have sex with her. Howard said he's like Bill Clinton.
James said that he thinks that she would still say that she did it even though it never happened. He said they did kiss though. Howard said she's a pretty girl. James said it was lame.
JD said that the list was made for her Rehab sponsor. James said that's horrible. The list got out when someone found it while house cleaning. James said he can't believe she put him on her private list. He said she's so delusional. Howard asked if he's upset that he made out with her. James said he's not upset. Howard said he's not proud of it. James said it's just not a thing. He said he did make out with her but that was it. Howard asked why not bang her? James said this is meaningless in his life. He said when they made out he was a nice guy. He said the kiss was enough. He said he wondered what the hell he was doing. He said she was young at the time. He said he was doing Spider-Man 2 or something at the time. He said he was in New York and she was a big celebrity. He said he kissed to see what it was like.
Howard said he kissed some celebrities when he was single. He said you do think about that person being a celebrity. He said you all feel like that inside. James said there's a thing where you're in private but the whole world is in there with you. Howard said you can't believe that someone like that is involved with you. James said it's like there's a screen between you. He said you're with an icon though. Howard said it's almost like you feel obligated to be with them. James said his kiss with her was lame. That's all he's saying. He said it was just a kiss.
Howard said the strange thing is that he's on the list even though he didn't do anything. James said they were at the hotel at the same time in her dark history. He said that it was clear that she liked him. James said he was going to school at the time and he'd come home late and she'd come find him. He said she had two rooms there and he'd see through the window that she had a party going on. He said he was in the bungalow area and she'd come out and find him. He said it's in the poem that she broke into his room one time. He said they'd give her the key to his room. He said he woke up at 3am once and she was in his room. He said he wondered what the hell he should do now. He said he talks about this in the poem. He said he read her a story. He said he knows that sounds lame but he wanted to get some homework done and he did that.
Howard said maybe it is possible that he didn't bang her. James said it sounds like he's in denial but he will swear on his mother's life that he never had sex with her. Howard said it's honorable that he didn't do it. He said when a girl is worshiping you like that most guys would fuck her and take advantage. Howard asked if he could have fucked her in his sleep. James said maybe but he doesn't think so. James said you could say they were friends. He said he hesitates to say that though. He said every time he got her into his life it turned stupid. Howard asked if it was dangerous or stupid. James said he had an inclination to write about her earlier than the book. He said he and Terry Richardson were going to do this book and center it on the hotel. He said he had done 3 photo shoots there at the hotel. He said he knew he had done some with Lindsay too. James said he wanted to do the text and have Terry do the photos. James said he wanted to do a photo shoot with Lindsay the night before he hosted the Oscars. He said he knew the show wasn't going to be that great so he was depressed. He said he couldn't do the shoot because of that. James said Terry did it with Lindsay. He said the only people who knew they were doing the shoot were like 3 people. He said then it came out that they were doing a sex book. He wondered who would do that. Howard said he has a pretty good idea.
Howard asked if that's why he cut it off with her. James said the last time he saw her he was doing stuff at NYU and they were putting on a show. He said she was in town and she wanted to see him. He said he was in class all day and rehearsing all night. She wanted to come to rehearsal. He said it was a big mistake but he had her there. He said that she walks in and everything stops. He said Lindsay just started being so rude. He said she started making comments about the under grad actors. She was critiquing them. James said he had to block her from the actors. He said he went over to talk to someone and Lindsay said something in front of everyone. She said something about someone being terrible. James said he told her to either shut up or leave. He said he didn't need her comments. James said that she just got mad and stormed off. He said they locked the door after that. He knew it was going to turn into a scene. He said it turned into a horrible mix of having her there to see her again.
James said that it was years ago when this all happened. He said that this was at a bad time in her life. James said that the poem he wrote was like 4 years ago too. He said it was like a year of ''Oh, here's Lindsay again'' when she was around. He said that it was almost like stalking. He said they were friends though. He said he would go to clubs and she was always there. He said it wasn't like he had to escape Lindsay. He said she had these periods where she would just turn horrible. He said he's not sure if she was using something or what.
Howard asked if he is too busy. He said he's got this book out, he's making movies and he's in the play. James said that it's a lot of fun. He said that the play is doing so well he doesn't need to promote it. He said they're selling a lot of tickets.
James said that he lashed out at a critic. He said he does not read reviews but he did lash out at one. He said Terry Richardson asked him why he read reviews back in the day. He said that there are some legitimate reviews. He said that the one he lashed out at was Ben Brantly. He said he writes for the NY Times. James said there are the legitimate ones but you don't know how to shut off what you read. He said they would have reviews and you'd read them all at once. He said now it's like every day you can go online and read something about yourself. He said it can be Gawker or some 14 year old. He said it's so hard to turn it off. James said you read from random people and you think that you don't let them in but they get in your head. Then your work starts to respond to that. He said you want to bite back at them. He said it's not healthy. He said he's all for criticism but there is some that's about how he looks and things like that.
Howard asked what this guy said about him that upset him so much. James said he was at Cannes last year with a movie he did. He said he got great reviews from a bunch of people. He said he didn't want to read any of them. He said even the good ones don't make him that happy. Howard said he gets viciously angry when people say bad things about him. James said there is that moment when you read them and you have to resist your first impulse. He said you wonder why they're writing this and if it's a pure review or not.
Howard asked why he lashed out at this guy. James said that he is new to theater. He said he has learned to deal with things in film and that kind of thing. He said he doesn't need critics to assess what he's doing. He said he's got that down. James said he's confident. He said he's been doing this for almost 20 years. Howard said he gets that. James said they did their opening night after a month of previews. He said the show doesn't change that much from the last preview to the opening night. Howard said that the critics don't criticize a preview and that's an unwritten rule. James said that in this day and age they go and blog about it anyway.
James said they were at the opening night and people were talking about the great reviews they were getting. He said he knows the theater world is smaller though. He said people look in the NY Times for the legitimate reviews. He said they have the name but he doesn't know anyone who likes this Ben Brantly guy. He said he finds it incredible that they keep him there because he's such a bad reviewer. James said that he wasn't seeing the NY Times there. He said the next morning he figured he wrote a bad one. He said he got up at 6 and skimmed the review. He said what pissed him off was that he went after it in such a snarky way. He said he made it seem like they were going after it for a pay day or like doing it like Scary Movie. He said he wasn't making any money doing it. He said he was doing it for the theater and because he loves the play. James said he's working with a Tony Award Winning director on an American classic. He said this guy came after them comparing it to Yosemite Sam. He said if he doesn't like it then do an intelligent critique of it. He said he's doing it with full respect but this guy's review wasn't done that way. He said he should have done the review with respect. He said that review belonged on Gawker or something like that.
James said that this guy is going after shows that are trying to make some art. He said that they're not doing the musical version of a stupid movie. He said they're trying to do a legitimate play with a great piece of art. He said he does the review like you'd expect to see on a Miley Cyrus movie. He said the comparisons were like what an 8th grader would do. Howard said that he's saying that kind of stuff doesn't belong in a review.
James said that the accent he does is Californian and he's not doing Yosemite Sam like this guy said he was doing. He said that morning he did this thing where he called him a bitch and told him to write an intelligent review. He said everyone hates him. He said he put it on Twitter and his director told him to take it down. He said it had already gotten picked up at that point. He said his director said she was glad that the comments got out even though she's not supposed to comment on stuff like that.
James said a bad review can kill a play. He said they're at 100 percent capacity every night though. Howard said that the other reviews must be good. James said that having the stars they have in it helps too. Howard said his whole staff is going to see it tomorrow night. Howard said he went to see the Glass Menagerie and it was great. He said maybe this guy was jealous of his relationship with Lindsay.
Howard said he really shouldn't read reviews. He said that the opinions creep into your soul. James said he loves the live audience. He said when the reviews come out for a movie the movie is already done. He said you don't have to go in front of the audience after the review. He said when you do theater you have to go out in front of people that night. He said it's weird.
Howard said that this movie James is in is called Palo Alto. It's based on some short stories he wrote. Howard said he's in it with Emma Roberts. James said she's good. Howard asked if he picked her to be in it. James said that Gia Coppola picked her.
James said he wrote the book. He said it took him 4 or 5 years. Howard cut him off and asked about the painting he did of Seth Rogen naked. James said he used oils to paint that. He said that Seth had been sketched by this random guy who didn't know him. He said that they did them of him naked that he didn't pose for. He said they were very sexual. He said Seth thought they were funny. He said Seth said they were surprisingly accurate. James said he wanted to make his own paintings of Seth and he's friends with him so he used his sketches as his models for the paintings. He said he did them about a year ago but just posted them recently. Howard said he's obsessed with Instagram. James said he kind of is right now. Howard said his wife is too.
James talked about taking selfies and how there's a balance of giving people what they want and putting your art into it. He said that movies are a real balance of that. He said you think about that making a movie. He said with Instagram he's feeling that kind of trend. He said that people are liking selfies more than anything else. He said he gives the people a certain amount of those and some of his art too.
James said that he can do projects that are fun now. He said years ago he had to prove himself. He said now he doesn't have to do that so much.
Howard said he likes doing things he likes too. He said he was up the other night painting apples. He said he uses pastels and sometimes water colors. He said it's so exciting to be into this stuff. He said he wishes people could find something they're passionate about and that way they wouldn't be into drugs. James said he's all for finding something that you're passionate about. He said he has an addictive personality. He said he finds that when he's obsessed with something constructive he's happy. He said that it can be destructive if he's into something that's not constructive.
Howard asked James about the apology he made on Kelly and Michael. He said some people thought it was promotion for the new movie. He said the movie is about a coach and a student and he's trying to fuck his student. James said that is the story in the movie. He said he is a creepy character in the movie. He said it's loosely based on real people. He said the real girl was 13 or 14 and the guy was in his 30s. He said that's really creepy.
Howard said James somehow friended a girl on Instagram after she took a picture with him at the theater. James said that the news wants to say that he's like pursuing this girl. He said she's 17 and that's legal in New York. He said they make it out like he's pursuing young women. He said he's not going to high schools looking for women. He said they come to his show and come up to him. He said he's just seeing attractive young women. He said he gets a lot of 17 year olds showing up at his appearances. He said they're 17 to about 30. He said he saw this girl and she was saying that she loves James Franco. He said she looks interesting and he doesn't know how old she is. He said he was a gentleman and asked if she had a boyfriend. She said ''Not when you're around.'' he said that makes it sound like she's interested. James said that he's kind of reluctant to get into the details about this. He said he doesn't think she posted it knowing what was going to happen. He said she thinks that she was someone who had maybe 500 friends on Twitter. He said she's thinking it's not a guy hitting on her. He said she's showing a picture of James Franco hitting on her and her friends won't believe it. He said she doesn't think that it's going to blow up into what it did. He said people pick up on it. He said she took it down but it was too late. He said she didn't realize what was going to happen. James said it turned bad on her. He said people say he victim bashed her. He said he was just trying to meet someone. He said his dirty shit gets put out internationally. James said that maybe he doesn't have game or his pick up lines aren't good. He said he doesn't need good lines though. He said when they do get out then it's just embarrassing bad lines. James said that whatever works, works. He didn't think millions of people were going to read about it.
Howard said he was accused of being a big perv and all of that. James said that it was sad. He said he feels so loyal to the people in his play. He said it was sort of contaminating the play. He said that he felt like he can't interact with people who are coming outside the theater. He said he felt defensive in that environment. He said that people who knew him were going to say he used those lines to pick them up too. Howard asked what his pick up line was. James said they were crude like ''Do you want to get together?'' Robin said he thought it was something about getting a hotel room. James said she was leaving town. He said that he was trying to rush. Howard said he had no game himself. James said you get a phone number and things are so awkward anyway. He said he never hooked up with her. He said he wasn't the one who made it public either. He said he never said a bad word about this girl. He said she brought it on herself.
Howard said maybe he should set him up on a date. James said he doesn't meet a lot of new people really. James said that every celebrity gives out and gets numbers. He said that he's not the only one doing this. He said he's not the only one reaching out to a fan. He said everybody does it. He said it's men and women too.
Howard said that they had an actor in there the other day who is on Tinder. Gary said that was Eric Stonestreet. James got a laugh out of that. Howard said that he told them all about that service and how he bangs chicks from it.
James said that Dennis Hopper told a story in a book about meeting Elvis and having women going in one by one into his hotel room. He said they were lined up out there waiting to go in. James said that this girl he met was nothing about her age. He said it was about her looks. James said he's on Instagram like everyone else. He said when he meets these people they're all really nice. He said he hasn't met a bad person out there. He said he feels like there is a screen between them. He said they're not seeing him as a real person. He said he's reaching out and asking if they want to get to know him. James said they're not seeing the real me. James said at first they have to get beyond the public image. He said he's not complaining but identifying what's going on.
Howard said that if someone wants to meet you outside the theater they want to meet the actor. He said they don't know the real James Franco. He said they're thinking of you as that person in the play or in the movie. He said that you have to get to know the guy to have a real relationship. James said he was a long term relationship guy for a long time. James said he's not sure why he wants to get into this. He said Howard is just such a good interviewer. He said he loves interviewing people and Howard is so good at it.
James said he thinks that he was with a person he really liked and everything worked. He said he was focused on his career and screwed things up. He said now he's commitment shy. Howard asked if he thinks he got too close to this person and it screwed things up. James said that he got hurt and it was a situation that couldn't be better but then it didn't work. He said that he didn't want to try it again for a while. Howard said if he can't make it work with her then maybe it won't work with anyone. James said that his career might get in the way. He said that this was like 4 years ago. He said he knows himself and he can't give more time to someone. He said he doesn't have enough time. He said he isn't ready for that. Howard said he understands that. He said he gets so career focused that he has to sit down and turn that shit off. He said he has to pay attention to people in his life. He said he gets angry because he's so hyper focused on these things. He said he has to clear the decks for a while.
Howard said you can't be in a relationship unless you make time for the other person. Howard said that's the hard part. James said he just turned 36. He said he's been teaching for about 4 years now. He said the great thing is that it takes his attention off himself. He said it's not exactly like being a parent but he's in that mentor mode. He said that has made him grow up a bit. He said he's hoping that he's getting to that point where he's ready for a relationship. Robin told Howard not to rush him. Howard said the woman 4 years ago was Lindsay Lohan.
Howard got back to the movie and asked James about Emma Roberts being picked to play the girl in the movie. James said that he didn't want to adapt the movie himself. He said he wrote the book but he wanted someone else to take it and do something with it. He said he met Gia Coppola who is Francis' grand daughter. Howard asked if he had anything against her because of who her grandfather was. James said no. He said she wasn't even a director at the time. He said she was a photographer. He said that her photographs were in the same vein as his book. He said it was focusing on youth but not making it for a youth audience. Howard said she got his vibe.
James said he took the leap and got Gia to do it. Howard cut him off saying they were running out of time. He said David Spade is waiting to come in. Howard said that he wanted to ask him about what happened at LAX where someone got shot while he was there. James said he was there and things got crazy. He said everyone was on good behavior there though. He said it wasn't chaos.
Howard said he has so many questions for him but they ran out of time. Howard said he is a great guest and a great guy. James said that he loves talking to Howard. Howard said he loves talking to him too. James said he almost didn't come in because of the controversies in his life. Howard said he has to come back. James said maybe he'll come back at the end of the summer or something. He said they should give him 2 hours next time. Howard said he has to ask him about his art and things like that. James said he wants to talk to him about his art. Howard said he'll send him some pictures of his art.
Howard gave James a plug for his movie and asked if Emma Roberts is hot. James said she's tiny but she is hot. Howard asked if he bangs his co-stars. James said he's getting to the point where many of his co-stars are married or engaged. He said Emma is engaged. Howard said a lot of people get engaged and don't end up getting married. James said he's had friends get married young and they should wait. He said if the relationship is working then just stay in it. He said he really respects marriage. He said his parents were together their whole lives.
Howard said Palo Alto opens on May 9th. He said he's in Of Mice And Men until July. He said he has a book of poetry called Directing Herbert White: Poems. Howard wrapped up with James and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that David Spade is there. Howard said that he told James that he should hang with David. David said he just met him in the hall. He said he's going to follow him on Instagram. Howard said that it's weird hanging out with another celebrity. David said he thinks he's cool. He said he likes the guy but he didn't know he was going to be on before him today. He said he would have skipped him and kept going with James today. Howard said he is an interesting guy. Howard said that they're very similar.
Howard said he never actually saw David's stand up. He said he became a fan of his on Saturday Night Live. David said a lot of people didn't know he even did it. Howard said he does a routine on bed and sleep and it's really good. Howard played a clip where David is talking about a loft bed that's hooked to the wall. He said the landlord told him not to have more than 500 pounds up there. David said ''Trust me, I don't want more than 500 pounds up there.'' Howard said he loves that line.
Howard asked David what kind of money he can get doing stand up. David told Howard that per joke it's better money than anything else. He said he does The Venetian once a month in Vegas. He said he has other gigs he does too.
Howard said once you do a special you have to trash your material. David said that you don't have to do that these days. He said that some of the jokes are like songs that people want to hear again. He said it's like seeing a band. He said sometimes they want to see the same material but with new stuff mixed in. Howard asked if a joke works the same way as a song. David said that they can. He said the first HBO special he slowly worked in and out new stuff. He said that he never got flack about it. David said that with the new one he realized it was a whole new hour and it marks what he's been doing lately.
David said that he does the road and then he does these specials. He said that he might have 20 minutes to add to a Comedy Central special because they edit out about that much when the air it.
Howard asked David if he writes his own stuff. David said he heard Joel McHale yesterday and he had hired some writers. He said it's very common. He said he doesn't have guys he can snap his fingers to. He said he has to go to a comedy club and work his material out. He said he wants his stand up to be good so people will like it.
Howard asked about going to a club and if he has to bomb a bit. David said you do have to do that. Howard said it must suck because everyone knows you. David said that it can be fun. He said he and Chris Rock go and hang out and do shows. He said that it's always the same with comedians though. Howard asked if he tells Chris that he's going to go up and bomb. David said that it can be that way. He said he was at a club when Amy Schumer was here. He said she is always hysterical.
Howard asked David if he's afraid another comic is going to steal his material. David said he has so much material that he's not. He said he thinks that people know his jokes and someone will rat out another comic if they take a joke. He said there are times when they will say that someone is doing comedy in his style. Howard said that's a compliment. He said that David is very relaxed on stage. David said he does get nervous. He said he drinks at the clubs and he has what doctors call ''problems.'' He said he can't handle the drug thing. He said it's hard to fit in. Howard said he's disappointed that he can't even smoke pot.
David said he'd like to do everything. He said he was good at doing coke for a while. He said he had a few bumps of coke and he wondered where it had been all his life. He said he was 20 years old and valeting cars. He said his buddy would bump him up and they'd run around doing sets. He said he could afford 1/4 gram. He said it was just enough for him. David said a long time ago his buddy took him to Cyndi Lauper. He said that he had a 2 gram bullet. He said you cram a lot of it. He said that he did some and he was like Jon Benet dancing around. He said that he couldn't have been more jacked out of his gourd. He said that he had to drink to even himself out. He said he was staying at a friend's house and he got there and it was like 1am. He said that he was cranked up so he got an Old Milwaukee. He said he drank the beer and then jogged to the Grand Canyon. He said he came back in and he was still up. He said his BP was like 5 million over 6 trillion. He said he woke up his friend and asked what to do. He said his friend told him to breathe into a paper bag. He said he had to go to the hospital. He said his buddy brought him there and they asked if he was a comedian and where he got the drugs. David said that he didn't have a career at the time. He said that his friend talked him off the ledge for 2 hours in the car with the heat on. He said he was drenched. He said that his friend asked him if he wanted to go home after that. He said he did. David said that he had talked him through it. He said he slept all day after that. He said he was never going to do it again but 4 days later he was doing it again. David said he can't handle it anymore. He said he's just such a pussy.
David said that everyone is out doing Molly and things like that. He said he can fake it after a few drinks but that's about it.
Howard played another clip from David's stand up special ''My Fake Problems'' which starts this Sunday on Comedy Central. Howard played the clip where David is talking about how easy acting is. He was talking about some of the people who were up for Oscars when they were just kids. He pointed out that Jennifer Hudson practiced singing for her whole life and she can't master it but she waltzes over to acting and wins an Oscar.
Howard said that's such a great observation. Howard said his father gave him a lecture about being a radio announcer. He said that anyone could take his job. Howard said he was right. He said a lot of people can be in radio.
Howard said he read about how David had a catheter put in after an operation. Howard asked what that is like. David said that he should try it. David said he had done Grown Ups 2. Howard said that movie did a lot at the box office. David said he thinks they're doing a third one. He said that he was stuck in a tire rolling around in the movie. He said he's physically fit and he does at least 10 crunches a day. David said Rock told him he can't be fat and old. He said you can only be one or the other. David said Chris said that being 50 with money is like being 30. David said he got back and he didn't want to show the doctor his dick. Howard said he thought he had a big one. David said someone said that on the show and it caught fire. He said he's fine with that even if it's not true.
Howard said he is humiliated when they check his penis. David said he doesn't show well. He said that you don't want the bird in a nest look. He said he doesn't want a full rod though. He said that sends the wrong message. He said he doesn't want the nurse seeing it either. He said he tries to fluff it up a little bit. Howard said he does that too. He said it's the most ridiculous thing. David said he doesn't know when it's coming out. He said he went in and the doctor pushed around and said he had a hernia. David said he doesn't know if he got it on the movie. He said the guy told him that he had a double hernia. He said he went right in. He said he has never had an operation before. He said that he told the doctor he was going to give him a good Yelp review if he lived. He said he was joking as he was going under. David said they shave your area and then they move your penis around with salad tongs. He said you know they're talking about him being from Grown Ups and goofing on his penis.
David said he was all shaved and he couldn't move. He said that they said they had to put the catheter in. He said they had to ram it in there with two guys from Game of Thrones. He said it's the most painful thing. He said he was unconscious for 4 hours and he's not sure why they didn't put it in then. He said they put it in when he was awake. Howard asked how he would rate the pain on a scale of 10. David said that his wiener is one of his favorite thing. He said they were ramming it in because it wasn't going in. He said he was screaming like a stuck pig. He said the nurse rammed it in and said she was going to tie it to his leg. He said he had to put that on and then leave the hospital. He said his power was out that day too. He said he got home and he wasn't able to move. He said it was terrifying.
David said that they removed it the next day. He said they usually have to blow up a little balloon to make it work and sometimes they forget to let the air out of it.
Howard asked David if he was rewarded for doing the second movie with Sandler. He was rewarded on the first one but not the second. David said Adam is very nice and he doesn't take all of the jokes in the movie. He said that he spreads them around.
Howard asked David about how the negotiations go on Grown Ups 2. He said that Adam is a friend but anyone else could hold him up for a ton of dough. Howard asked if he accepts any offer they make. David said he did. He said that there are times when he will put up a fight for money or something but there are times he just does it. He said that was one of those times that he just did it. He said the money will be fine and it's a fun time. David said he and Adam have the same guy so whatever he gets is going to be fair. He doesn't think that they all got the same amount though. He said he would never ask anyone what they made. He said that Kevin James may have made more. He said he had made 3 crunches in a row so he was doing great. Howard said his quote goes up because of that. David said they have to give someone like that more. He said he's fine with that.
Howard asked why Rob Schneider didn't do the second one. David said that it would be nice to have him back. He said that he was busy doing his show at the time. He said it's a fun way to hang out and make a fun movie. David said they had a fun time with that movie. He said this next one will be at a ski resort and he'll end up being a runway bride or something.
Howard said David is going to do the 40th anniversary special for Saturday Night Live. David said it's next year. He said he hasn't been asked to do it yet. He said he thinks he'll do it. David said he was at the last one. He said that they just want everyone there to see them there. He said it's a lot of fun and he has nothing against SNL. He said he's not sure where he would fit in though. He said when there are so many people there you don't get to do anything. He said that it'll be great to see everyone sitting there and hanging out though.
David said they had a top list of the best bits on SNL in Rolling Stone. He said he made it in with his Chris Farley motivational speaker. He said there are so many other bits though. Howard said he saw that Farley worked that motivational speaker out at Second City. He didn't come up with it on SNL.
Howard said that he read that Farley used to find the ugliest chick in a strip club and he'd pay her to give Spade 10 lap dances in a row. David said he did do that. He said they would go out to the Brass Rail in Toronto. He said that they'd go to dinner with a guy up there who sounded like Paul Lynde. He said they'd all walk down to the club and the guy would ask if they were near the pussy place. He said he was trying hard to show that he was rally into pussy. David said this happened very time they went up there. He said the guy would say he had cramps from the shrimp he ate. He said that he'd end up going up to Chipendales instead.
David said that he and Chris would go to the club and they have full nude strip clubs there. He said Chris would tell him to just come in for one second. He said they'd go to the VIP room because they're VIPs. David said anyone is a VIP in a strip club. David said they'd get in there and he'd want just one dance. Then Chris would think that the girls liked him. David said then the ugliest one in the place would come up to him and say that his friend just bought him 10 dances. He said she had the worst stories too. He said Chris did that to him every time. He said it was too mean to stop the girl from dancing. He said it was such a great joke that he did it to other people later on.
Howard asked David if life is weird not having a series on TV. He said it seems like he always had a show. David said that Rules of Engagement had a 7 year run. He said he doesn't think he's been off TV for more than 7 months since he was on SNL. He said he took a year to write a show for cable. He said HBO bought this idea but the problem is that they can't put it on for over a year. He said they're so back logged with good shit that they can't do it. He said they don't really do a lot of comedies. Howard told David to tell them what the idea is. David said in the show he's a burned out band manager. He said he was big in the 90s. He said now he's managing some bands and trying to get back into the business.
Howard asked why he's doing it with HBO and not someone else. David said that FX was thinking of taking it. He said they have another show where Denis Leary is playing a rock guy in his 50s. He said that it was too similar for them.
Howard gave David another plug for his Comedy Central show. David said that he wanted to talk about the birthday show. Howard said he's always very good at emailing him about those kind of things. David said that he used to do Letterman and things like that and he'd get a ton of calls. He said that stops eventually. He said he likes to let Howard know once in a while that he's laughing at something on the show. Howard said that a lot of people don't take the time to do things like that. He said it's taught him to do it more with other people.
David said that Howard had a dinner the night before the birthday show. He said he came with Chelsea. David said the dinner was very nice. He said he has a really nice pad. He said he has his money stacked in the corner. He said he thought it was a Christmas tree. Howard said he thought it would be nice to have them over. He said a lot of people were in town for that. David said he is the worst hugger in America. He said Howard gave him a hug and it was like a Praying Mantis eating a locust. Howard said he wondered why he ran and sat down.
David said that he and Chelsea and Whitney all sat on the plane together. He said he didn't see Jonah Hill there. He said he hears people on the show and he'll go up to someone he heard on the show just because of that. He said that it's fun because you know the jokes and all of that. David said the party was great that night.
Howard said he has a big announcement on Monday about the Birthday show. David said he should mention it now. Howard said he can't talk about it now. Robin said it's time sensitive.
David said that he sat with Tracy Morgan and a bunch of people. He said that Jewel was near by too. He said he didn't know how funny she was. He said that she was being funny the whole time. He said she was great. David said that Howard had a glitch and then they went to the audience. Howard said something weird happened. He said it's a long story actually. He said he did plan on going to the audience. David said Tracy said he'd put a baby in there with Barbara Walters. He said that he just handed the microphone to Jewel after that. He didn't have anything to add.
David said that Sour Shoes is really funny. Howard said he really is but he can't keep it together. Howard said he loves seeing David. He said that it's already 9 and David has to go. Howard said if you don't have someplace to go then you look really bad. David said he has to go and do Instagram. Howard asked if he has someplace to go. David said he has to go on Dan Patrick's show and then do a few other things. He said he's doing Jimmy Fallon too.
Howard asked if he's following all of this late night stuff. David said it's a real blood bath. Howard said he thinks that Stephen Colbert is going to regret taking that job. He said he had it made on Comedy Central. Howard said that the late night wars are heating up. David said they are real too. He said that it's a whole new world with Kimmel and Fallon. He said that he loves Letterman and he thinks that it's the right time to get out. He said he doesn't want to get into the viral videos thing and all of that. Howard said he thinks that the paradigm has shifted. He said that Jay is gone and now David is leaving.
David said that things are really changing with TV. He said you don't have to watch SNL anymore. He said you just wait until Monday and the best bits are out there. David said he doesn't watch the show that much these days. He said it's just not on his radar right now. He said he would like to go back and do the show though. He said he and Lorne were always tight. He said he doesn't think Al Franken liked him. He said that he was one of the guys who picked sketches and he didn't get stuff on. He said Robert Smigel told him that Franken hated him and that's why the stuff didn't get on. He said it all made sense after he heard that. He said he doesn't have conformation from Al that he didn't like him but it made sense. David said that every year they didn't know if they were going to bring him back. He said he'd have to go back to L.A. and get rid of his apartment there in New York. He said he had to move 6 times in 6 years. He said he couldn't afford both $1000 there in New York and $800 in L.A.
Howard said that he must be doing well with the 7 seasons of his series. David said he just ran out of Joe Dirt money yesterday. David said he really has to get out of there. Howard gave him some more plugs for his Comedy Central special and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and sang along with Free Fallin'. Howard said maybe he should learn to play that on guitar. He said he's still trying to perfect that Cat Stevens song. He said he just can't get it right. Howard said he's afraid to move on to a new song because he doesn't have that one right. He said he still plays the same four songs over and over again. Robin asked how that's going. Howard said he's kind of stalled because he was out in L.A. doing AGT. He said that he did have a guitar in his room but he didn't use it that much.
Howard said he's not that much further along with the Cat Stevens song. He said he has to go back to high school when he had time since he didn't study. Howard got his guitar and played for Robin. He said that he sucks and blows at the same time. Howard went through the song ''Father and Son'' and did okay with it.
Howard played another song and sang to Robin. Howard said he's spending about 5 minutes a day with the guitar. He stared to play ''Hurt'' and sang it as Johnny Cash. Howard went a minute with that song too. He said Robin gets it. He said that's all he's got. He said he could do ''Old Man'' but he thinks he's done.
Robin asked Howard about his art work. Howard said he was up in the middle of the night so he wanted to paint something simple. He said he takes on things that are difficult. He said he painted some apples. Howard said Beth said she was impressed with his apples. He said he took a picture of his apple painting. Howard said Robin can't see it from there. Robin said she can come over. Howard told her to come over. Robin went over and took a look at his phone. Howard said that's what he did all night instead of sleeping. Robin said they could be apples. She said it keeps flipping so she can't see it. Howard said this fucking iPhone... He showed her again and it kept flipping. Robin said every time she looks it flips. H Howard said that's the best he can do. He said it was a green apple and a red apple. Robin said she has a drawing of apples that she bought.
Howard said Robin didn't really compliment his apples. Robin said there is something that he needs work on. She said that he needs and instructor. Robin said there is no perspective. Robin said he has to put them in a place. Howard said he's trying to just do an exercise. He said you can paint anything. Howard said Jason wants to put it up on the web site. Howard said he'll mail it to Jason instead.
Robin said she has a guy she thinks that he should talk to. She said he's really good and that's what Howard is into. Howard said he took a lesson from Justin Theroux. He said he's an actor. Howard said he's an artist too. Howard said it relaxes him when he gets stressed out.
Howard said a lot of people are jazzed about the Billy Joel Town Hall. He said they have tons of pictures and things from the special up on his web site. Howard said Charlie Rose ran a thing this morning about the Billy Joel interview. Robin said they were talking about it on CBS news last night.
Jason said they have a 6 minute video of the highlights from the special. He said they have a breakdown of the performances too.
Howard asked Jason how the gym thing is working out. Jason said he's only gone once. He said that he's been very busy lately though. Howard said at least he got out once. Howard said he's very thick right now though.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that he did some great interviews with David Spade and James Franco. Howard said it was a fun morning. The caller asked if he has ever fucked a girl in the ass. Howard said he has. The caller said ''Wow.'' She said she was just wondering. Howard said he has had a few instances. He said it's not for him. He said he always feels something poking back at him. Robin said there might be something closing in but it might not be what he thinks. Howard said he feels something there. He said one of them was in doggy position and she just grabbed him and stuck it right in her butt. He said it went right in and he was amazed. He said that she must have been completely ready. He said he could feel something in there. He said it's not the same as a vagina. He said something isn't quite right. The caller said she's not a fan of it herself. Howard thanked her for the call.
Howard said he has done it with other people. He said he's a vagina man. He said some guys are breast or ass men but he's a vagina man. Howard said that's what he'd choose every time. Howard said he has tried anal with some women and it didn't fit in. Howard said Fred takes it pretty easy though. He said he's a pro. Howard said Fred loves it and it's always clean as a whistle back there.
Howard said Charlie Rose called him a good interviewer this morning. He played a clip of Charlie talking about him being a good interviewer. Howard said if Charlie says it then it must be true.
Robin read a story about David Arquette and his girlfriend giving birth to a baby boy. Howard said he sent David an email about that last night. He said he saw a picture of David with the baby. Robin said the name is Charlie West Arquette. Howard said he likes that name. Robin read some details about the birth.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she likes hearing Howard talking about anal. She said that she would love it but she has only gotten it like twice from her man. Howard said she should listen to some of Ronnie's sex tips. Howard played a couple of those that he played earlier this morning. The caller said that her husband would not go for that. Howard said maybe he had a bad experience with doody. She said he had a medical condition that she thought was holding him back but it turns out that wasn't it. Howard said he's n to sure what it could be. He let her go after that.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked who he thinks is the best interviewer other than himself. Howard said he's in the middle of eating a piece of pineapple. He thought about the question and said there are a lot of good interviewers. He said he thinks about the 60 Minutes people and about Charlie Rose. He said that Larry King was good. He said Letterman is good too. He said he thinks Jimmy Kimmel is a good interviewer. Robin said he likes Katie Couric too. Howard said he does. He said he likes the Playboy magazine interviews too. He said there are a lot out there. He said he's drawing a blank right now.
Speech said on May 21st they're having a big party for Stern Superfans and he's going to be doing comedy there. Howard asked who cares and hung up. He said he thinks Melrose Larry Green is going to that. He said he saw him in L.A. Howard said they did a motorcycle stunt out there and he ended up crashing and had to go to the hospital. Howard said he almost had a heart attack watching these stunt guys. He said he wanted to hate the act because he didn't want to go outside again. Howard said that was scary but then some old man was outside screaming out his name and it turns out it was Melrose. He said he lives in Century Village down in Florida now. He said he still has the same voice though. Howard said he walked over to Melrose Larry Green because he is an old friend of the show. He said he thinks Melrose was stunned that he walked over. Howard said he's probably used to people snubbing him. Howard said he went over and asked how he was doing. He said it stopped him in his tracks. He said he was still yelling to him. He said he was very complimentary to him. He said he was talking a mile a minute and he wasn't able to follow anything he said.
Howard said he told Melrose he had to go after talking to him for 5 minutes. He said a minute later he was yelling out his name again. He said he never gets enough. Howard said he didn't know why he had to yell his name after that.
Howard said there was a funny Baba Booey shout out. He said it was during an interview with CJ Wilson at some supercross event. Howard played the clip and this guy was asked about racing and a guy was yelling out Baba Booey behind them. The guy was yelling at the top of his lungs ''Baba Booey!'' and ''Howard Stern's Penis!'' Howard said he just got a note about CJ being a baseball player. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bob Hoskins dying at the age of 71. Robin read about what he was in and said he had retired a few years ago. Howard wondered if 71 is young at their age. Howard said that's a young man to him now.
Robin said that Bryan Cranston gave her some tickets to his play about LBJ. She said the play is wonderful. She said Howard would enjoy it so much. She said there is so much history in it. Robin said she went back stage to say hi and Dean Norris from Breaking Bad was there too. Robin said it was fun to watch the two of them together. She said that Bryan is a really cool guy. She said that it was kind of like seeing two brothers reunite. She said that they were happy to see each other. Howard said he heard that they double teamed Robin. Robin said she wasn't alone with just the two of them. Robin said she was just in awe of such greatness.
Howard said he heard that you have to go back and say hello to them if you get tickets like that. Howard said if you don't then it's like saying you don't like the play. Robin said it can indicate that. Howard said he went to see Zachary Quinto in the Glass Menagerie but he didn't go back to see him after the show. He said he had to go home and sleep. Howard said he hates going back stage. He said he didn't know the rule. Gary said that a friend would go back and say ''great job.'' Howard said he just wants to go home. Howard said he's not sure why things have to be like that with actors. Gary said that he really should do that. Howard said it was Mary McCormack who told him that he should go back. Howard said she was upset that he left halfway through her show when she was on Broadway. Howard said he's rude and he didn't know it. He said he doesn't want to sit there all night. He said he's a mess. Howard said he did write to Zachary after he saw the play. Robin said that's good. At least he did that.
Robin read a story about Chris Martin coming out and talking about his break up with Gwyneth Paltrow. Robin had a clip of him talking about that. Howard said he just thinks the guy wanted to fuck someone else. Howard said he doesn't understand what the fuck he's talking about. He said it can't be that complicated. He said he should get in there so he can interview him.
Robin read that the NBA handed down their verdict on what they're doing with Donald Sterling. Robin said that the Clippers actually won last night. Robin said that they have banned Sterling from the NBA for life. Robin said they're going to try to force him to sell the team too but they really don't have much power there. Robin had some audio of some people commenting on that. Robin said that he has paid those kind of fines before for being a racist. Howard said he loves that the NAACP was going to give him an award. He said they're confusing signals to say the least. Robin had some other clips of people talking about this thing. Howard said Snoop Dogg had a message for him. Howard played that clip. Snoop went off on the guy for being a racist piece of shit. Robin said she doesn't think that helps at all. Robin said Donald Sterling could be in for a legal battle for ownership of the team. Howard said he thinks he'll fight that. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about cell phone privacy and how we carry so much on those phones. Robin said the supreme court is taking that up. Howard said he's against personal rights and freedoms. He said he's fine with a cop looking through his phone. He said you should be too. Robin said that she doesn't want to be treated like a criminal. Howard said if you look on his phone you'll find pictures of him painting apples. He said the most he'll have to explain is that it's an apple and not a cherry.
Robin read about the high school student who stabbed another student to death. Robin said the child has confessed and he's being held on $3 million bond. Robin said he was covered in blood when he was arrested. Howard said that's a horrible scene. He went right into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a porno site that's saying they'll plant a tree for every certain number of videos watched. Howard said that's a good idea. Robin said they may have too many trees to plant. Robin said this is PornHub that's doing it. Howard said that he goes to YouPorn and he was watching a dirty doctor seduction video. He said the doctor was a woman. He said she looked nothing like a doctor. Howard said he couldn't watch it. He said he had a hard on but he didn't buy that she was a doctor. He said he hated the scenario. He said she had garters and a mini-skirt on. He said she didn't look the part at all.
Howard said he went to a standby video which was a fake agent video. He said this was a new one that they had on there. He said this girl walks in and the agent isn't real. He said it's a despicable scenario. He said this girl was gorgeous. He said he's pretty sure you don't need an agent to get into porn. He said the agent says that they have to see her suck a dick and fuck. Howard said he tells the girl he has to explain it to her. He said he had to know she knows how to fuck and suck dick and she was fine with it. Howard said they do quick cuts on this. He said the next thing you know his pants are off and she's sucking his dick. He said he likes a little bit of build up. He said once they're naked he explodes.
Robin read more about the porn thing. Robin said that it's meant to alleviate porn watchers guilt. Robin said for every 100 views they'll plant a tree. Robin said it's only one part of the porn though. It's the big dick portion of the porn. Howard said he doesn't want to see that. Howard said they could build a whole Babysitter Porn Forrest from the stuff he watches.
Robin read a story about a man who punched his 3 month old in the face with a closed fist. The baby died after that. Robin said the guy punched his baby because it wouldn't stop crying.
Robin asked who takes selfies while driving. Howard said people are nuts. He said he sees that stuff going on out there. Robin said that a woman who died in an accident was posing for selfies moments before she died in an accident. Robin said this girl had just written a post about how the song ''Happy'' makes her happy. She was also taking selfies seconds before she died.
Robin read a story about a college student who drank wine laced with LSD and ended up falling out the window of a fourth floor apartment. Robin said he had some of the wine that was laced with LSD so there is an investigation going on.
Robin read a story about a problem with a lethal injection in Oklahoma where they had a vein failure and he didn't die the way they expected. Robin and Howard said they find it odd that they worry about the way someone is dying when they're killing them with the death penalty.
Robin said Walmart is getting into the automobile insurance business. Robin said that it's going to roll out nationwide soon. Howard said he thinks he's been in a Walmart. Robin said they're too big for her. She said she can't even make it around the store.
Robin read that hands free cell phones are just as dangerous as hand held. She said that any distraction can be a problem. Howard said people can't stay off these phones. He said people are afraid to be alone. Robin said they say any conversation while you're behind the wheel can be a problem. Howard said that most people don't have that ability and they shouldn't be talking. Robin said they say even talking to someone next to you can cut your senses by 33 percent.
Robin read about how a bunch of people are coming forward looking to buy the Clippers. Robin said they may have some new owners in the NBA.
Robin said that the new Star Wars is going to look like the old one. She said Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford are all returning to the new movie. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon asked Steve about Eric the Actor and his calls. Steve said they get a lot of calls from Eric back there. He said that he will call in and say he wants to talk about his show but they don't even know how he's doing health wise. He said that they have to kind of steer him that way.
Jason said that Eric's show is on tonight at 10 on FXX. He said Eric didn't even know that information. He said that he has been plugging it for months now and he didn't even know when it was on. Jon said he is an actor so he may not know when it's on. Gary said they get him parts and he can't go on anywhere else to plug it. He said he should know that stuff.
Jon said if Jimmy Kimmel had space he thinks he'd have him on. Gary said he thinks Jimmy knows that having him on is a channel changer. Jason asked if the show is good. Jon said he has seen it and it's funny.
Jason said he loves The League and Wilfred. He said he thinks they're really funny. He asked if that's what it's like. Jon said it's in the same vein. Jason said he's going to check out the show now. He said Eric has done his job.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Howard painting. Gary said he can tell they're apples unlike Robin. He said he could tell what they were. He said he hopes she was just breaking his balls. Gary said they are clearly apples and they're not bad.
Jon asked Gary if he came in and said he was painting apples last night. Gary said there are two sets of rules. There's one for Howard and another set of rules for everyone else. Jon said he thinks Howard would care what he's doing. Gary said he doesn't think Howard wants to hear what he's doing for a hobby at all. He said if you are into something and Howard hears about it, that's a minute that person isn't working for you.
Jason said that's mostly true. He said that all of them put in a lot of hours. He said last week was crazy and so was this week. Jon asked if he is feeling better about Howard's agent talking about how he's looking. Jason said that he's not sure if he caught him on a bad day or what. He said he asked him if he put on weight but he got over that quick.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that asking someone if they put on weight is a great question to ask. She asked why Robin refuses to compliment Howard on anything he does. She said that she thought the apples looked pretty good. She said that she was telling Howard to take a lesson or two. Jason said if you want to see the photo it's on all of their Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and web site.
Gary said Howard is the greatest radio personality of all time. He said there is the perception that the person is going to be great at everything., He said he didn't have that expectation but he thought Howard did a really good job. Benjy said he thinks they're incredible but he hasn't seen them yet.
Benjy said they should do a Jackson Pollock thing again. Gary said that Robin got on the air and talked about how great she thought Jackson Pollock was and the guys were saying that they don't think Robin could tell the difference between a real and a fake Pollock. That led to Howard painting some stuff and they had Robin try to tell them apart. Gary said Robin wasn't able to tell them apart.
Jon said maybe Howard and Robin have that kind of relationship where they can say those kind of things. He said maybe Robin doesn't have to say it's great. Jason said Howard has never really cheered Robin on when she did race car driving and things like that.
Gary said his wife is a great painter. He said he can't even draw a stick figure. He said that he thought Howard's painting was pretty good. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said that James is on Broadway, he's teaching, he's acting, painting and all of that. He said he doesn't seem to have a moment to sit down at all.
Gary said James has a crazy flying schedule. He said he flies out on a Sunday to teach a class and then flies back to do the play. He said it's a crazy schedule.
Jon and Gary talked about the story James told about the guy he went off on about his review of the play. Jon asked Ronnie if he reads reviews for his stuff. Gary asked about how he deals with people saying anything about him on Twitter. Ronnie said on Twitter you can be the best off twitter but on Twitter you're a scumbag.
Jon said that James said that he knew he could act and it didn't bother him when he got bad reviews. He said that he does freak out when certain people critique him he gets over it. He said he hadn't proven himself yet in the play though. He said that's what bothered him about that review.
The guys were talking about how James got the job in the play and wondered if he just go it by walking in. Jason said celebrities get jobs there at SiriusXM just because they're celebrities. Gary said the difference is that James Franco is an actor and he's in a play to act. He said they do radio there and they give jobs to entertainers who don't do radio.
Benjy said that the reporter was talking about the Hollywoodification of Broadway. He said that's what the guy was claiming that review was all about. Jon said it should be about who is the best for the role. He said it shouldn't matter what their background is.
Gary asked if they think it's weird that if Bryan Cranston asks him to see a play and he doesn't go back stage that Bryan may feel upset. Jason said he's on Howard's side in that. He said that you don't do it in any other medium. He said he would assume that people don't want to be bothered so he wouldn't go back stage. He said that's just the way he thinks.
Jason asked if a concert is the same thing as a play. Gary said that's different. He said you go back at a concert to see someone because you like them and you're invited back there. He said that Howard should know that going back stage to a play is the right thing to do. Jason said they should talk to George Takei about that and get that in the Howard 100 News.
Jon asked if Ronnie has a line. Ronnie said he hasn't been asked anything that crazy. Gary asked what he would do if someone mentioned a rape fantasy. Ronnie said he got to Beverly Hills last week and he went in his room and had a canopy bed. He said it has the curtains on it with the ropes and all of that. He said he told Joe he was going to tie Stephanie up in the bed. He said she was coming in a few days later. Jon asked what happened. Ronnie said it was fun. He said they had a really good time.
Jon asked Ronnie about the Aston Martin. Ronnie said it was amazing. He said that thing was $350,000. Gary said he likes cars but he could never drive that car without fear of hitting something. Ronnie said that's why you have insurance. He said he used to worry too but now he doesn't. He said you have insurance and that's it. Jon asked how Howard is as a driver. Ronnie said he hasn't driven with him in a long time. Gary said he hasn't since the early 1990s. Ronnie said Howard is very cautious. He said he hasn't been in the car with him for years with him driving though. He said he would trust him though.
Ronnie said the guy in L.A. had to show Howard how to drive that Aston Martin. He said they had that and a Ferarri and something else out there.
Jason asked Ronnie what he would buy if he had a blank check. Ronnie said that you don't have to spend that kind of money. He said you can buy a Corvette done up really nice and spend just $80,000 on it and it'll stand up to those other cars. Ronnie said he'd buy a Corvette or a Dodge Viper if he had a blank check. They had to take another break after that.
Jon said that David does stand up and people don't realize he does that. Gary said he did stop for 10 years. He said he has had TV series going for so many years that he wasn't doing it that much.
Jon said David told a great coke story and he wishes that he was better on drugs. Jon said that some people wish they could function like that on drugs. Gary said he gets what they're saying. He said he doesn't get people who get so fucked up and go to work. He said they had a guy working for them that was a functioning alcoholic. He said they'd find bottles all over the place. He said this was so long ago Jason may not have even been born yet.
Jason said he has mentioned that he smokes marijuana once in a blue moon. He said people ask him if he works high. He said he couldn't function outside of his house or a movie theater on that stuff. He doesn't do it at work.
Jon said David mentioned that when you hear someone on the show it gives you a reason to talk to them. Gary said that people seem to appreciate it when you tell them you heard them on Stern.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thought the Spade interview was great but he always thought he was an ass. He said it turns out he seems to be a great guy. Gary said that he always plays a character that's an ass. He said that's not the real guy though. He said he just plays those pain in the ass kind of guys.
Benjy said David makes an effort to say hi to everyone off the air there. Jon said he's a big fan of the show and he was talking about the birthday show and the Wack Pack and all of that. He said you don't expect that from celebrities sometimes.
Jon said that the Al Franken thing was another thing. Gary said David doesn't know it to be true but he heard it was true. Gary said it could turn out to be false. Benjy said Howard 100 News should get that story.
Jon brought up Evil Dave and asked about him laughing at himself at that joke he told. Gary said that guy is so interesting when he's not being Dave. He said he's not a joke writer but he always fights him to write jokes. Gary said he always tells him not to do his own jokes. He said he has to remind him not to do his own. Jason said that Dave walked in with a binder of jokes once at K-Rock. He said they gave him the talk and he kept hitting the binder during the breaks. He said Howard would ask him not to do it and Dave kept going to that binder.
Jon said that he did wait until the end of the bit. Gary said he knows that they don't want him to do it. He said that's why he waited. Benjy said he has seen him write some jokes that weren't horrible. He said they have made clear that they don't want it though. He said they should give him some time at the end of the bit to do his own material. Gary said no. He said that they're trying to do a professional show.
Jon had Shuli get to his Howard 100 News story preview. He ran down a few headlines for today's news. The guys got in their plugs after that. Gary also mentioned that Maurice Dubois on the local CBS news said something very nice about Howard yesterday after they did a story about the Billy Joel Town Hall. He said that he wanted to give him a plug because it was such a nice comment. They ended the show around 11:15am.
Gary talked about seeing Billy Joel when he was growing up at the Nassau Coliseum. He said he remembers having the 45 of ''Piano Man'' and how he'd write the lyrics down. He said that he'd stop the album and write down what he heard. He said that would take about 20 minutes to do. He said he was very geeky about that.
Jon asked what other songs Gary did that to. Gary said there were a bunch. He said he liked the songs that were story songs. He said he thinks that Piano Man was the first one he ever did that with.
Jon said they're all Billy Joel fans there. He said that's because they grew up in the area on Long Island. Jon said he thinks that Billy on Long Island is different than anywhere else. Gary said he thinks that people all over love him. Jon said he thinks that they might be a little more passionate there on Long Island.
Sal said that Billy makes a lot of local references and you get the chills when you hear it. He said he's always paying homage to the area.
Jon said Billy is also very humble. Jon said Billy says that he's just an okay piano player. He said that he's a pretty damn good one though. Gary said Billy truly sees himself as a song writer. He said that he just made the album to get his songs out there. He said he's surprised that Billy just thought he was going to be a great song writer. Sal said he thinks he's a phenomenal singer too. He said he was blown away by him.
Jon said that you don't sell that many records just being ''okay.'' Sal said it's the combination of the song writing, the playing and the singing. He said there's something special about him. Gary said that voice just grabs you. Sal said Jimi Hendrix didn't have a great voice either. He said it's about the whole package.
Gary said that being inducted into the rock and roll song writing hall of fame is what those guys love the most. He said he thinks that's the most important thing to some of these guys.
Jon said before the Town Hall they had Scott the Engineer sitting at the piano and people were worried about that. It turned out Billy hated that piano. Gary said that's the one Billy and his people chose. Gary said he knew he was covering his career and that's the one he wanted to use. He said that's really not Scott's fault. Jon said Scott and Billy have a very similar look. Sal said he's like Billy without all the talent, nice home and money.
Scott said he saw Billy at the Garden the week before. He said this was a lot different. He said it was tremendous. Jon said that hit him during the show. He said they were both right there and they were in this tiny room. Gary said they had a sound check at 10:30 and they were all buzzing around getting ready. He said Billy was playing a bunch of songs and at one point Jon grabbed him and said they had to stop for a minute. Jon said he played a Jethro Tull song and a bunch of others. Jon said it had a very intimate feeling.
Jon wondered how Howard felt since they've gotten very close. He said it was tough to get a read on that. Gary said he thinks that Howard felt a lot of pressure. He said he's a legend and a very good friend. He said he thinks that Howard accomplished what he wanted to. Benjy said when you know someone it's tough to interview them. He said you know they don't want to talk about certain things so it's tough to do that.
Jon said he had to interview Gary in front of a bunch of people once and he already knows the answer to some of the questions. He said he thinks Howard and Billy are comfortable with that though.
Sal brought up the story about Gary and Jon sharing a bed once since Jon mentioned being out with Gary at one point. Gary said they have never shared a bed. He said they shared a room with twin beds in it at Howard's house. He said that's it. He said they never slept in the same bed.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he enjoyed the Billy Joel Town Hall. He asked what's next. He asked if that's a format that will continue. Gary said they have talked about a couple of ideas. He said it's not on a timetable though. He said if the right person presents itself then they'll just do it.
Benjy said The Cutting Room was amazing. He said he was blown away by that place. Gary said that room just fit that set perfectly. Jon said you see it and don't know what to expect when you're outside. Gary said everyone walks in and goes ''Whoa!'' They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Gary said they have had guests come on that have asked them not to talk about things. He said one of them was the band Wham. Their publicist asked Howard not to ask them about being gay. Howard did it and they just clapped and moved on after their answer.
The guys talked about how busy James has been with the Of Mice and Men play and all of the other things he's doing. Jon asked Sal how he handles doing all of the stuff he does. Sal said if you enjoy all of it then it comes easy. He said Howard is doing a lot of things that he enjoys and he doesn't complain about them. He said Gary enjoys going out with his sons and watch games. He said if he was asked to paint apples he might complain and he'd rather sit and watch TV.
Jon took a call from a guy who said James Franco was an awesome guest. He said that they should always schedule him before other guests who hold back. He said he thinks that it got Spade to bring his A game to the show yesterday. Gary said there might be something to that.
Sal said that Tracy Morgan is one of those guys who is tough to follow. Jon said he saw Spade in the hallway and he said to him ''I have to follow this Franco kid huh?'' He said he also said that he doesn't think he'll have a problem. They went to break a short time after that.
Jon said there were so many performances and so many songs but they could do it all over again on Monday if they had to. He said there are that many hit songs.
Jon said he got to see the bible. He said there is a guy who works with Billy who has every single song that Billy has ever written. He said it's incredible. Gary said he knew a guy who worked with Bruce Springsteen and he brought his bible to a dinner they had. He said that he had people calling out his songs and he'd just play them. Gary said that's his dream to be at something like that.
Jon said once that whole thing ends they all just drop. Gary said the birthday show was a killer. He said they took a vacation after that. Then a few weeks guy by and the Billy show appears. He said they had less than 7 weeks to put that together. He said there's a lot of work to do. He said a lot of work went into it but no one was complaining about it. He said they were in a room with 100 people with Billy playing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said when Howard introduced guests Billy would play something. He asked if that was planned. Gary said he doesn't know how that came about. He said it worked out though. Jon said the other thing that happened was when the guests would come out Billy would sit close to Howard. He said that he just lit up when he watched Boyz II Men perform too. Benjy asked if this may come out some day. He said there was this thing where Billy and Howard would look at each other during the performances. Gary said he had a guy come up to him and tell him a story about Tony Bennett. He said that Billy told the motorcycle story and the guy asked Tony for an autograph and Tony just said ''you can't make this stuff up'' after hearing that motorcycle story. Gary said Tony is almost 88 years old too. He said people said that it's the music that keeps you alive.
Gary asked who the guy is who created the show 24. Mary and Jon were trying to figure out who he was talking about. Gary said one of the guys was up there and he was asking really inside questions. Gary asked Mary if they talk about the show on the set. He told her to just say yes. She said they do all the time.
Benjy said he knows Mary from stand up. Gary said he knows her from a bunch of TV shows. Gary said he knew her from News Radio. She was on a couple of episodes. Mary said 24 was her first drama ever. She said she was in comedy in the 90s. She said she had just gone on the road before she got 24. She said that she had to put the comedy away for a while.
Gary asked if she was getting ready to do a Comedy Central special or something. She said she's not sure she'd do Comedy Central. She said that she was working on some odd stuff back then before 24. She said that she always did a lot of improv and things like that.
Jon asked if they saw her on Punch Drunk Love when they found her for 24. He said it seems like it's a big change from doing comedy to drama. Mary said that their editor on the show is the one who claims he got them to check her out for the show. Mary said she watched a bunch of episodes the night before and she ended up trying to get out of this thing. Mary said she met this guy Joel Surnow in the hallway and he said it was great to meet her. She said that was great right there. She said that they ended up writing her in as the CTU computer nerd on the show. She said that they didn't even have lines for her yet. She said she needed a job and she just took it.
Jon said she also survived the first 8 seasons. He said not many people did. Mary said that they're still shooting episodes and she's not sure if they're going to kill her. She said they're shooting in London and that's been exciting.
Jon said he watched the first episode and it picks up and doesn't miss a beat. He said that the way it was shot was incredible for network TV. He said it's been copied and not done as well. He said the clock is the thing that hasn't been copied. Mary said that they say that 24 was ahead of its time. She said that she's waiting to see if it holds up. Jon said he's a big fan and he thinks it does hold up.
Gary said that they have people on the show who they say are huge fans of the show. He said Will quizzes them to figure it out and they often aren't that big.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Mary Lynn's stand up act is great. He said that you're able to talk to her after the show. She said she always does great on late night shows too. He asked if they're going to have her on Howard's show. Jon said this is the first test.
Benjy asked if Mary has seen Howard's apples. She said she hasn't. Jon told her about them and how Robin responded by saying that it was just okay. Benjy said that Robin was putting it down. Jon said Howard was saying he's just trying it for the first time. Jon asked if people tell Mary to stick to one thing when she tires more than one thing. Mary said that she got a back handed compliment from the FOX executives when they said they weren't sure how she'd do on the show.
Gary showed Mary the apples Howard painted. Mary said they weren't bad. She wondered why he wrote ''apple'' on the page though. Gary said Robin was mocking him over that. Mary said it's very studious. She said he's not trying to do a whole picture yet. She said he's doing what a student would do.
Mary said she is a fan of Howard's but she was scared of him for years. She said that she likes Oprah and Kittens and stuff. She said he loves kittens now too though. She said she started listening when she was in her car a lot and now she gets it. She said that she can't listen to the sexy girl segments but they don't even do that anymore. She said that when Howard gets into things about artists and music it's just amazing. She said she would love to be on the show but she doesn't think she's that compelling of a person. Gary asked if she has a fear of being on. She said she's not a larger than life person. She said she could talk about art and comedy but who cares about her time on the road. Mary said she would probably just listen to what Howard has to say. Gary said not everyone has to be like Tom Cruise. Mary said she thinks she has a really boring life.
Benjy said he looked her up on Wikipedia and she says she was in a series called ''What I don't tell my mom.'' Mary said that she did that. She said that might be good to talk about on the show.
Gary said that he wanted to ask Mary about playing Squeaky Fromme once. Mary said she only had a couple of lines and she was ready to go there with that character. Mary said she's really bad with the catalog of her brain so that's another reason she'd be afraid to do the show.
Jon said that Mary was on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and JD is going to be directing a scene. Mary said no way. Jon asked what her advice would be. She told JD to just not fuck up and just be cool. Gary asked what they look for in the show. She said the best thing is not to talk too much as a director. She said you need to know how to talk to the actors and not be up in your head. Jon said he doesn't think JD will have a problem with talking too much. Mary told JD to put his hands up a lot and say ''You think that was a good scene!?'' in a snarky way.
Jon said they had to wrap up after that. The guys all got in their plugs. You can check Mary out at MaryLynnStandup.com. They were done around 11:25am.
JD said he loves that dinner so much that he watches the red carpet on C-Span. He said they just show people walking through. Jon asked Gary to give a nod or a wave to the camera. Gary said he'll give a wave and say ''Hey JD'' to the camera.
JD said he once watched Eric Stonestreet look for his table for 10-15 minutes once. He said he watches the people leaving and all of that. He said it's so fascinating to see the top political people and media and entertainment in the same room. He said it's crazy.
Jon said he doesn't think the show was intended to become what it has become. Gary said he thinks the Clintons were the first to attract Hollywood. He said he's been told this is one of the places to hang. He said there's a big party down there and it's the Vanity Fair party. He said the guy he's going with said he's going to try to get him in. He said he's been talking to Dax Sheppard about the big party because he read he was going to be there. Gary said he isn't sure if he'll get in.
Gary said he thinks Joel McHale is very funny but this could raise him to another level. He said he doesn't think it can help a Jay Leno type but this could catapult Joel if he does it right. Jon said he agrees.
Jon said he's looking forward to hearing what happens with Gary down there. Gary said he's looking forward to it too. He said that it should be interesting to see how people mix.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he went to the show the time Colbert hosted. He said it's very interesting. He said they have all of the President's security there and all of that. He said the people to go up to and who are most interesting were foreign policy and CIA guys. He said those are the guys who have been in meetings with war criminals and people like that. He said that's what he remembers from the dinner he went to.
Gary said he was supposed to go to a fund raiser for Bill Clinton and they asked him not to come after he had paid 2 grand for a ticket. He said they gave him a reason and it was a private fund raiser and they didn't want media there. Gary said he wasn't there as media though. He said he was a supporter. Gary said that this dinner was for someone else who he ended up calling. He said he left a message and then he got a call a few hours later. He said the guy called and they talked for a few minutes. It turned out to be Anthony Wiener. He said that Anthony was upset that he wasn't allowed to come but that's how he got to become friendly with him.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if he thinks that Joel will call him out during the dinner. Gary said he doesn't think so. He said that the President is going to be there. He said he doesn't think Joel will go to him. Jon said maybe he'll go for him if he has a joke that doesn't go over well. Gary said he did spend time talking to his writers so maybe they are thinking about that. JD asked if he knows where he's sitting. Gary said he knows the table number.
Jon said if the first lady Baba Booey's Joel that would be amazing. Gary said he's going to be sitting at the same table with Lara Spencer. He said she's one of his neighbors actually. Benjy went to school with her. Gary said she actually remembers Benjy. Benjy said she would write down every word in class and she let him Xerox her's.
Jon asked if Gary thinks that Joel is setting himself up for failure. Gary said he thinks he's going to do fine. He said he knows he's a funny guy and it's a good environment for him. He said that he thinks Joel is good at the give and take and he has an edgy attitude. Jon said he didn't know the comedians go last. JD said they bring up some people to give awards and then they let Obama talk and then they bring up the comedians.
Benjy said he hadn't seen it until Imus hosted it once. He said he was blown away when he saw it. He said that it was really good. He said he was calling everyone to check it out. Benjy said he couldn't believe this was on TV. Jon said C-Span's ratings go through the roof when it's on. JD said they let everything happen. He said he watched Michelle Trachtenberg there and some guy bumped into her and she gave the guy this look that he never forgot.
Gary said when E! first started they had no content. He said they would go to the set of a movie with no sound and let the camera roll.
Gary said tomorrow he has to meet for some pre-parties and then there are other parties around. He said that Joel told him about how he feels he wants to get in there and go really well very quickly. He said other guys like Jay Leno don't have to do that kind of thing.
Gary said he's going to this event and hopes that he'll get two bookings from it. He said that he's going to go right around the publicists and all of that and get right to them. They spent a minute talking about that and then went to break.
Gary said that he was getting annoyed about Pharrell's hat getting so much press. He said that they had him on a very long time ago and he wasn't sure what to expect. He said he had seen an interview on CBS and it was very good. He said he's a very positive person and he wishes he could be that positive.
Jon said they were talking to JD about the White House Correspondents Dinner with JD. He said this is a highlight of his weekend. JD said it's entertaining to him. He said he likes to watch. JD said that he's been watching for at least 3 or 4 years. Jon asked if he would watch it if he didn't have this job. JD said he's not sure about that. He said he may not be as into it as he is.
Gary asked JD if he would rather do this or play beer pong with the guys. JD said that's a hard one. He said he is DVRing it. Gary said that's pretty odd to him that he would rather watch that than go out with the guys.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Robin Thicke was in when his song was number one. Gary said it may have been after. Gary wasn't sure. Benjy said that Pharrell credited Howard with helping to make it number 1. Gary said he isn't sure about where it was on the charts at the time.
Jon said Sal had a David Spade story to share. Sal said he was at the Birthday Bash and he and Richard were the Wack Pack Wranglers. Sal said Mark the Bagger came over and said he wanted them to sit with him. Sal said he had to go to the bathroom so they took him there. David Spade came walking in. He said that Mark's assistant asked for a picture with Mark as he was about to pee. Sal said he asked them not to do it there. He said it was the wrong place to do it. He said Mark's assistant looked like he wanted to beat the fuck out of him. He said he walked out of the bathroom after that. He said David thanked him for taking the bullet for him. He said he went up to Mark's assistant, Anthony, and apologized for doing what he did. He said Anthony said he didn't care because David came out of the bathroom and said ''fuck that guy, lets take the picture.'' Sal said he thought that was pretty funny.
Jon asked if people think that David doesn't work that hard. Gary said he plays that character in movies and on TV but he doesn't think that's who he really is. Jon said he's been in TV for a very long time. Gary said he remembers after ''Just Shoot Me'' got canceled he told Artie a really funny line. He said it was something about how they had just chopped down the money tree in his back yard.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he heard the Pharrell Williams interview and he got such positive energy from him. He said he got home and talked about it at the dinner table. Gary said he didn't hear a lot of it when it was live but he heard it on the way home. He said the funny story was about how he got fired from McDonald's 3 times. He said all he wanted was the Adidas sneakers. Jon asked Sal if he had anything like that. Sal said he wanted Puma sneakers with wide white laces. He said he ended up stealing the money out of the register from his dad's pizzeria. He said they were blue suede sneakers.
Gary said sneakers were always a big thing for boys. He said if those sneakers were $8.99 the Pumas were 20 bucks. He said his dad never wanted to pay that kind of money for them. He said he would get Converse instead. He said his dad wanted to get him the ones in the bin that weren't even in boxes. He said he had to have the right ones.
Sal said he had a friend who would clean off his sneakers with a tooth brush. He said he learned how to do that and did the same thing with his.
Sal said he used to go to a flea market to get his clothes. Gary said he knew about that too. He said that's where he got socks and underwear for years.
Jon asked Sal about this break dance crew he was in called the Circuit Breakers and what they wore. Sal said they had maroon and red outfits. He said they were awful. He said he would wear that to the roller rink but then he'd go to school and wear something different. He said he'd wear blue there. Sal told the guys that when they went into battle if they won they would be taken into another group.
Gary asked Sal if they saw themselves as an oddity or did they belong because they were all white. Sal said they were never a legitimate break dance crew. He said he blocked that out of his head. He said his dream was to be in the Streets of Justice crew. Sal said anyone who didn't make it into a crew developed their own crew. That's how they got into the Circuit Breakers. Sal said they once got mugged in the roller rink. He said that's how he lost his dad's sunglasses.
Gary asked Sal about going to see the movie Electric Boogaloo. Sal said that was like his Gone with the Wind. JD laughed when he heard that. Sal said that he loved meeting Ice T because he was in that movie. He said he met him on the set of Law & Order SVU and told him he loved him in that. He said Ice T just looked straight ahead and said ''thanks.'' They went to break a short time later.
Sal asked if Gary had to pay for his seat. Gary said Sirius paid for the table. Benjy told Gary he should try taking the train down. Gary said he's taking a friend's plane so he can't complain. Jon said this is Gary's big weekend. Sal asked if it's Donald Sterling's plane. Gary jokingly said it was.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Sal ever wore the parachute pants. Sal said he found a XXXL size because it was the cheapest. He said he looked like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man if you deflated him. He said he looked ridiculous. Sal said he would roll up the pants as best he could. He said he looked like a complete douche bag. Gary said they used to call those ''stupid pants.'' He said then they became Joey Buttafuoco pants. He said that Howard once asked Mary Jo who wore the pants in the family and then asked who wears the stupid pants in your family.
Sal said he once got the shit beat out of him by his dad and he ended up punching him and he ended up pissing himself. He said his dad got upset with him for not wanting to work in the pizzeria. He said he told him it wasn't fun and his dad jabbed him in the stomach and he pissed himself. He said that really can happen. He said he thought it was just something that happened on TV.
Jon asked Sal if he had big gold chains too. Sal said he did. He mentioned that he got mugged when they went to get fake ID in the city. Jon asked how many times he's been mugged. Sal said he got mugged another time when he had a break dance battle. He said that guy punched him right in the face.
Gary said they should have JD and Sal tell stories about getting mugged. JD said he only got mugged once. Sal said he had another incident when he was out with his buddy. Gary asked how far they got with the mugging for the fake ID. Sal said they were following these guys to the place where they do it. He said they weren't the friendliest looking guys. He said they brought them a few blocks and they walked into a Wendy's when they realized something was going on. He said two of the guys ran and opened the door and put the hands on the second set. He said they came closer and put a knife to his stomach. He said they took their money and his friend's gold chain. He said they ripped that off his neck and walked out. Sal said there was a security guard in the Wendy's and his friend yelled something out that made the security guard not help them.
Gary asked if they ever thought about calling the police. Sal said it didn't occur to them. They were only 17 at the time. Sal said they were told there wasn't really anything they could do anyway.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if it has been worth it working for Howard all these years. He said he's finally at the correspondents dinner. Gary said he loves working on the show. He said they all participate on the show. He said he is very excited about going to the show though. Sal asked if he would rather go to that dinner or a Springsteen concert. Gary said he has seen him enough that he can skip one.
Jon wrapped up and let the guys get in their plugs. They were done around 11:00am.