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Howard started the show talking about the busy week he has coming up. He said he has to pace himself. Robin said it's just the beginning of the week. Howard said that's when you start. He said he has to do America's Got Talent tapings from Thursday through Sunday. He said he told them he doesn't work Sunday. He said they told him he'd have to work Wednesday so he picked the lesser of two evils. Howard said he's going to be pretty wiped out.
Howard said they're doing the AGT thing at Madison Square Garden if anyone wants to come out. Robin said he's working every day this week then. Howard said he is and it's keeping him humble.
Howard said they have a very busy show today. He said they have Belle Knox coming in today. He said she's putting herself through Duke University by doing porn. Howard said Anderson Cooper is also coming in. Robin said she did his show. Robin said he's a very nice guy. Howard said they'll meet him today.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw 60 Minutes last night. Howard said he did not. The caller said they did an interview with a guy who did a bunch of books about Wall Street and how it's rigged for them to make money. Howard said this is nothing new. Howard said he'll get a hold of it but then asked who cares. Fred said he saw it. Howard said it sounds like he was bored by it. Fred said it was predictable.
Howard said he was investigated by them SEC and they had like 15 lawyers in there with him. He said they wanted to see him squirm and get tortured. Howard said he wasn't even up on any charges. Robin said they were looking to find something but they found nothing. Howard said he was annoyed they had him in there because he had to get lawyers. Howard said he was really nervous even though he didn't do anything wrong. Howard said they demanded to see his personal calendar and that was really odd. He said it was very weird. He said they asked if he kept a calendar with notes with meetings about Sirius. He said he had a book and they wanted to see it all. Robin said she doesn't keep one. Howard said he doesn't either. He said he has a computer calendar but that's it. He said the whole thing was very weird.
Howard said they were asking him what things were in the journal and he may have put it down for someone he dated or something.
Howard took a call from Wheels who asked about the Nick Cannon thing and if he thinks that he'd get in trouble for doing black face. Howard said he did it on the Petey Green show. He said people would probably get upset with him if he did it. Howard said he doesn't make decision based on being on AGT though. He said that he forgot he was on the show last week. He said that Robin reminded him he was on AGT and he had forgotten about it. Howard said he doesn't conduct his life worrying about what people think about him. He said at this point who cares?
Wheels said he saw a picture of a bulldog Beth posted online. Howard said they have one named Frank and he's 10 weeks old. Howard said he's with Long Island Bulldog Rescue. He said he's the cutest little boy ever. He said he was so well behaved. Howard said he let him out and he was so proud of himself. He said the woman who runs the rescue asked for a picture so he took her down to his studio to take a picture. He said he got involved and Beth got involved. Howard said he took a self portrait and the dog was there. He said he knew that Lorette and Beth wanted him to adopt the dog. Howard said he was having so much fun with the dog. He said he's not ready for another dog though. He said they have 5 cats and he wants the freedom from the dog. Howard said Beth wants it though. He said she asked if he wanted it because that's why it was there. Howard said he thinks that if he gets another one people will get them. He said that they're born to torture. He said they're not normal dogs. Howard said they're cute but they're bred in a way that they suffer.
Wheels said he needs that dog. The dog's name is Frank. Howard said it's tough having a dog in the city. Howard said Fred knows how tough it is. Fred said he was cursing having a dog when he had to take it out in the rain. Wheels said he could take it on a balcony. Howard said they used to have a dog walker but even that's a thing too. He said the person has to come in and do the walking. Wheels was trying to talk him into it. Howard said he can come over and wheel it around then. Wheels mentioned he saw King hanging out drinking and partying with fans before the birthday bash. He told him to let him know that when he calls in today.
Howard took a call from a woman who mentioned she was at the gym doing squats. Howard asked if she has a good ass. She said she's not sure. Howard said he does them and he still has cellulite. The caller said she's working on it. She said she's kind of heavyset. She said she's doing 95 pound squats. Howard said that's what he does too. The caller said the interview with George Lopez was great last week. Howard said he has to let her go. She was in the middle of doing her work out.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has ever turned his show over to anyone else. Howard said he feels that with his show it's uniquely his show. Howard said if someone came in and did the show it would be weird. Howard said the Tonight Show is different. He said it would be weird. the caller asked if he could groom someone. Howard said he could turn it over to Beetlejuice. Howard said maybe someone like Adam Carolla. The caller said maybe Bubba. Howard said it wouldn't make sense. Howard said it's his show. He said it's just him sitting there talking. The caller said that everything else would still be there. He said it would be different but close to the same show. Howard said Robin likes working with him and she wouldn't want to do that. The caller asked if he would keep his show running when he retired. Howard said he has to get out of this conversation. He said he has to go do something else. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
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Howard came back and sang some of the song Fred was playing. Howard said he keeps expecting Santana to come in. Howard said music really affects him a lot. He said he can't listen to it a lot because he can't multi-task. Robin asked who the person singing in that song is. Fred said it was Greg Raleigh. He said he sang with Journey for a while before Steve Perry came into the band. Howard said he didn't know that.
Howard said when they had that dog over this weekend they had a dog that was going to be adopted but the guy backed out of it. Howard said that the dog's name is Gilbert and he's such a good dog. Howard said they rescued him down south somewhere and he was returned when the owners moved. Howard said the dog is a golden retriever and he's very laid back and house broken. Howard said he's so beautiful. Howard said he gets caught up in their story and he gets so sad. He said this dog is so cute. Howard said someone went to adopt him and then changed their mind. Howard said they have another dog and they're afraid the other dog won't like him. Howard said then Frank comes over and Beth wants him to adopt him. Howard said he was worried about him.
Howard said he wants to give him fresh water after they drink out of the bowl. He said it's a nice thing to do for them. Howard said he knows people who have dogs they never put water in a bowl for the dog. Howard said that's just wrong. He said he fucking hates people. He said the whole idea of therapy was to get him to like people and it's not working. Howard said he just wants to sit in a room by himself. Robin said he wants Beth there though. Howard said she's enough for him. He said Beth and the kids and that's it.
Howard said he heard a crazy story from JD. He said he was in a bar and he ran into Richard Christy's wife. Howard said JD ran into her and they hung out a bit. Howard told JD to come in to talk about this. Howard asked if he can talk about this. JD said that his wife thought it was funny to talk about. Howard said it's about Richard's birthday gift.
Howard asked JD what he was doing in a bar. JD said Richard's wife asked him to go with her. He said she was heading to a bar and she ran into him on the street. Howard asked what he had to drink. JD said he had a beer. Howard asked what she had. JD said she had a beer too. Howard said he finds it weird when a woman drinks beer. He said he's not sure why but he does.
Howard said Kristi wanted to get Richard some pants and she wanted to ask Sal for what size Richard wears. Howard said he found that so weird. Howard asked if Sal knew the size. JD said he did. Howard said that is so weird. JD said that they want to be able to wear the same pants so they know their size. Howard said that's so weird. Howard said they still go to the bathroom together too. He said they don't do it for the air. He said they go to the bathroom together. He said they're like 2 year olds. Howard asked what they're doing. JD said they talk about bits and things in the bathroom. Howard said he thinks the two of them are gay. JD said they are a work couple. He said it's beyond a bromance. He said there is something going on.
Howard said Richard and Sal have become one. He said he thinks about them working on something with someone and it's always the two of them. Howard said they have to work together. JD said they call each other ''honey.'' Howard said they're like Franken and Davis but neither of them will end up a senator.
Howard asked if Richard joined him at the bar. JD said he did. Howard said he bets Richard wants Sal there. He can't do that because he's married with kids. JD said Richard's birthday is tomorrow so Happy Birthday to him.
Howard said he wants someone to adopt this dog Gilbert. He said he doesn't want to worry about him. Howard mentioned that they were number one among truckers in a poll that was taken. Howard said he's happy about that because those guys spend a lot of time on the road.
Howard said he knows that Belle Knox is a doctor and he came home and found out she was in porn. Howard said he was serving in the military or something. Howard said he was reading about how Belle likes Disney and face fucking. Howard said he thinks those were Michael Jackson's favorite things too. Howard said he's not sure what violent face fucking is though. Howard played a clip from a movie Belle Knox is in and the guy was making fun of her looks and then asked if she was into this whole thing. She says she is but then they put her on the ground and she tells them to stop. Then they start face fucking her as she's telling them to stop.
Howard said she wants to ride the Sybian. Howard said he thinks that she should apologize to her dad while she'd doing that.
Gary came in and said that Sal suggested that they strap on a dildo and have her demonstrate her face fucking in the studio. Gary said Sal has a lot of anger in there. Howard said there's something about that sadomasochistic stuff that he likes. He said he likes when a woman is tied up. He said it seems like it's too much work though.
Howard said he once tied up a woman and they escape from his knots. Howard said no one seems to be held down. Howard said gets them tied down and then wonders what to do. He said he would leave the room and leave them laying there. Howard said he'd leave for like 5-10 minutes. He said he would go watch TV and then wonder what the hell he was doing. Howard said the ideal thing would be to leave them there for 3 days.
Howard said he went to get ice cream and put that on a girl's nips. He said he licked that off and then she asked him to just fuck. He said he tried candle wax too but he was wondering what he was doing. He said they just ended up fucking. He said the whole thing was so stupid.
Gary said he heard a story from a woman in a band who was into that kind of stuff but it would take like 45 minutes to prepare. He said she just wanted to fuck. Howard said he thinks that guys have bad relationships with women and they just hate them. He said that the pervy sex crap comes out of that. Howard said Richard still wants him to chloroform him and take his clothes off. Howard said something could go wrong with that. He said he could end up killing him. Gary said on the best day he would wake up with a headache. Howard said Richard just wants to wake up nude somewhere. Howard said it's crazy what guys want.
Richard came in and said that he thinks it would be funny. He said he would crack up if he saw him doing it to someone else. Richard said they can pretend it if he wants. Howard said he's not going to do that. Howard said he thinks he has gay tendencies at least. Richard said it's for comedy and he'll do gay stuff for comedy. Howard said his comedy is gay. Richard said he and JD watch gay porn together and laugh. Howard said he didn't know that. Richard said his wife found that odd too. He said they told her that they do that to pull funny clips. Robin said he doesn't have to do that with another guy though.
Howard asked why Richard and Sal pee together. Richard said they like being around each other and talking. Howard asked how he asks Sal to go pee. Richard said they usually go to lunch and pee together. He said they sometimes cris-cross their pee streams. He said Sal is very involve with his pouch. He said he has to clean that thing out and it's very involved.
Sal came in and said that it's different than Richard is saying. He said Richard will ask him where he's going if he gets up. He said Richard invites himself to the bathroom with him. Howard asked why he doesn't just go alone. Sal said he doesn't mind it. Howard asked if he likes it on some level. Sal said he doesn't but he doesn't mind him being there with him. Richard said he just enjoys being around him. Sal said he does enjoy looking at it. He said Richard won't even get angry if he gets a little pee on him. He said he watches his cock the whole time too. Richard said they look at the color of the pee and admire it.
Robin asked Sal why he lets it happen. Sal said he might like it because Richard likes it. He said it's a give and take in a relationship. He said he wants to make Richard happy. Howard asked if he'd fuck him in the ass if he asked him to. Richard said he's not going to ask for that. Sal said that Richard wants him to stay in shape so he'll tell him to put a cookie down. Howard asked if he would cuddle with him in a bed. Sal said that would be too much. He said they have shared beds on the road though. He said that he doesn't think he would do it. Howard asked if Richard would like that. Richard said if Sal wanted to do it he'd do it.
Richard said he and Sal used to stay in the same room on the road when they did comedy shows. He said they wouldn't mind doing that. Sal said he just went along with what Richard wanted. He said he's not the one who invites Richard to do stuff. He said it's usually Richard who makes the suggestions. Sal said he will ask Richard to paint his penis for special occasions. Howard asked if he got engorged when he painted it. Sal said he did not.
Sal said every Christmas Richard takes him shopping. He said they go out shopping and Richard buys him a few things. Richard said it's tradition now. He said that's how Sal knows his jean size. Sal said this has been going on for 5 years now. Howard asked Fred what he thinks is going on there. Fred said they're gay and they just won't admit it. Sal said they really aren't gay. He said they just like each other. Howard said he has to take a break because Belle is there. Howard said maybe they'll do the chloroform thing on the last day they're there. Howard said it would be kind of fun to do it. He said he could drag him around the studios there. Howard said he could prop him on the couch and paint him. Richard said he would love that. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that this Belle Knox is going through Duke University and paying for it by doing porn. Howard said she's getting a lot of flack over that. Howard had the guys bring her in. Belle said she's a freshman at Duke. Robin said she has a long time to be doing porn. Howard asked if she's going to quit after doing school. Belle said she's not sure but she thinks she might. She said she wants to be a civil rights lawyer. Howard said she's going to be doing porn for the next 10 years. Belle said she wants to pay for her under grad and then save money.
Howard said she could pass for 15. She said she's 18. Howard said that's a real asset in porn. Howard said she seems to like getting mistreated in her porn. Belle said she likes doing stuff she's comfortable with. Howard asked how old the guys have been with her. She said one guy was 50. She said she makes exceptions at times. She said she doesn't usually do guys that old. Howard asked how old her parents are. She said her dad is 50-something. Howard said it's like fucking your dad on film. Belle said it is.
Howard said he remembers Jenna Jameson fucking a guy who looked like he was 60. Belle said that's a fetish. Howard asked if she odes lesbian stuff too. She said she is bi-sexual so she does.
Howard asked about why people are so upset about her doing this. Belle said she's not sure. She said they have had a lot of things happen at Duke. She said that people are upset that she says she's a feminist and she's doing porn. She said that they find that kind of strange. Howard said it's hard for him to accept that too. Belle said that there are a lot of forms of feminism. She said that there are different thoughts in feminism.
Howard asked if she dresses like this in class. She said she dresses in sweat pants. She said she's just lazy as hell. Robin asked if guys are coming on to her at school. Belle said when this whole thing happened she was getting hundreds of Facebook requests and invitations to frat formals. She said a guy told other people what she was up to and it spread. She said that she was crying when it came out. She said she found out when people started following her on Twitter. She said she knew that her life was going to be made a living hell. She said that kids taunt her on campus. She said that people are very passive aggressive. She said it's all anonymous. She said people threatened to kill her and throw trash on her. Howard asked if the school is upset with her. Belle said the school has been very supportive actually.
Howard asked what it costs to go to school there. She said it's like $62,000 a year. She said she has to pay like $4,000 a month. Robin asked what she gets paid to do porn. She said she can make $1,000 or more per scene. Howard said he imagines she could get more than that. Belle said she can ask for more. She said that she's getting a name now. Belle said it's really good money. She said she used to work 20 hours a week and make $400 a month as a waitress.
Howard asked if other girls in porn are mad at her for getting famous. Belle said that they are. She said there are a lot of girls who hate her. She said people are mean on Facebook and Twitter. She said she won't even say who they are. She said that they don't deserve to be known.
Belle said that there are some escorts and people like that who thank her for coming out for this. She said that the Bunny Ranch came to her asking if she wanted to work there. She said that's not her thing. Howard asked if other girls at school have come to her about doing things like that. Belle said there are sex workers at Duke. That's all she'll say about that.
Howard asked if Belle's parents were putting her through school. She said they did ask her to take out loans to help pay for it. She said that she could have done that but it was 11 percent rates on the loans. She said that this is something she could do and not have to take out loans. Robin asked if she would do it if she didn't need the money. Belle said it's just a job but she probably wouldn't be doing it if she didn't need money. Howard asked if she has gone to any clubs and gotten naked. She said she hasn't. She said she did do some things in high school where she was on camera doing things with girls. She said that she would do that at parties and things like that. Howard asked if she acted out a lot sexually. She said she lost her virginity at 16 and her boyfriend made her into a sexual monster. She said she just wanted to have sex. She said she sued to masturbate when she was 5 or 6. She said that she's always been attracted to both men and women all her life too.
Howard said in this scene he heard of her blowing the guy it sounded very rough. Belle said that she thought it was hot. She said she likes getting her face fucked. She said she likes the make up running down her face and all of that.
Howard asked about her getting whipped by some guy. She said that was in her personal life. She said they went to the guy's house and he came back from his room with a leash, collar and a whip. She said that he tied her up and whipped her. Howard asked how long that goes on. She said it goes on until she can't take it anymore. Howard asked if she was bleeding from it. She said it wasn't that bad. She said that she does like it being painful. She said she can orgasm from getting face fucked.
Robin asked if her parents knew she was so sexual. Belle said they didn't know. Howard said that her dad was in the army and he came home and found out she was in porn. Belle said that someone in the family told someone in the press. She said that if you're so concerned about how her family feels then don't make a big deal out of it.
Howard asked how her father found out. Belle said she told them when she realized it was going to come out in the news. She said she texted her mom and her mom was upset but not livid. Howard said her dad must have freaked. She said he really didn't. She said he was in Afghanistan at the time. Howard said that must have blown his mind. Belle said her father is a war veteran and people are maligning him. She said that people are trying to find out what was so bad in her life that they can blame her parents for. She said she couldn't ask for better parents.
Robin asked how her siblings feel. Belle said her brother is very supportive. She said that she had a great upbringing. Howard asked if she moved a lot. She said she did. Belle said she saw a lot of things moving around the world. Howard asked if she was ever raped or attacked by anyone. She said she was not. She said it does happen to a lot of people though.
Howard said Dr. Drew said something mean to her. belle said he said that if he was her dad he'd be biting down on a Cyanide capsule. She said she told him he was really funny after that.
Robin asked how she knew who to call and where to go. Belle said that it was the internet and she was able to figure out how to do it. She said a bunch of agencies and job listings came up so she knew where to go.
Howard asked Belle about how she got interviews and things like that. Belle told him how she got calls after getting into it and the first thing she did was that face fucking video. Belle said that she tries to talk to the guys before she does anything with them. She said you do everything you can to clean up. She said that she shaves and douches. Howard asked if she cleans out her asshole too. She said she'll clean up for the guys. He said she's been told she has a nice asshole. She said girls will just start licking it. Howard asked if that's a great thing. She said it's cool. She said she's not super into reciprocating that. She said she'll do that with girls but not with guys. Howard said he can't even imagine that. Howard said he can't imagine a girl licking his asshole. He said there's too much activity back there. He said he would be self conscious about that.
Howard asked if she fakes orgasms on tape. She said she doesn't fake anything. Howard played a clip of her doing a scene and moaning. Howard asked if she puts that on. Belle said she over does it a little for porn but she does moan. Howard said he's waiting to hear those noises.
Howard said Belle's plan is to keep doing porn. Howard asked if she can do other things. Belle said she's got a line of products coming out through Doc Johnson. She said she's going to be doing some feature dancing. She said she has one more month of class and she works on the weekends. Howard said when he was in college he knew guys who were getting work and dropped out. Howard said the money might become so enticing she'll drop out. Belle said there are times she thinks about that but she wants to finish the education. She said that keeps her grounded.
Howard asked if she has had teachers coming on to her. She said that she won't give them any reason to kick her out of the school so she won't do anything with them.
Howard asked what she got on her SATs. She said she won't say. Howard asked if it was over a 1900. She said it was something like that. Howard said she got like a 1900. belle said it's something like that.
Howard asked if she's done a gang bang yet. Belle said there is a feature movie coming out where she does something like that. She said it's called ''Real College Girl.'' Belle said the gang bang was with two guys and she was collared and leashed. Howard asked if she came from that. She said she didn't. Howard said he imagines that she'd have to cum. She said that it's all about the clit. She said she rubs that and she'll cum. She said she wants to get off so she'll rub it in the movies.
Howard asked if she has turned guys down in scenes. She said she has. She said that she'll find out he's doing sketchy things in his personal life and she'll turn them down. She said it's her right to do that in the industry. She said you don't have to work with anyone you don't want to.
Belle said she showed up to work one day and he was very old so she turned it down. She said that the guy was very offended by that but that's what she felt was right for her. Howard asked if she has ever had to tell a girl to clean up before doing a scene. She said all of the girls have been clean and she hasn't had to do that. Howard asked if she has gone back to a girl's room to do something off camera. Belle said that she has hasn't but they do flirt.
Howard asked what people are saying to her at school. She said people threaten to throw trash on her every day. She said that people are afraid of a woman with power.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he was checking out some of her videos and she's very hot. He said she's small and she moans a lot.
Howard asked if she has big tits. Belle said they're small. Ralph said they're perfect. He told her not to get implants. Belle thanked him for that. Belle said when she had a boyfriend he wasn't able to keep up with her. She said she's horny. She said that she has a big sex drive and she loves porn. Howard asked if she expects a guy to have a big penis. She said that she'll go off to L.A. and work for 2 weeks and she won't want to have sex for a while.
Belle said she took an 11 inch cock once. She said she's only 5'4'' tall and 95 pounds. Howard said he can't imagine she can take that. Belle said that in one scene you can see her face go to surprise when she sees that big thing. She said she can take it right up to his balls. Ralph said he thinks he saw that and it went right in.
Robin asked if she deep throats. belle said she does. She said she has never thrown up from it. She said she gags but that's about it. She said she has a strong gag reflex. She said she can't even make herself throw up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said in Florida they have the highest ranking for girls doing the sugar daddy thing. Howard said Belle could probably do that. Belle said that's cool if they want to do that but she wants to make her own money. She said she doesn't want to depend on a man.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why she didn't go to a state school. Robin said she wanted to go to a really good school and there's nothing wrong with that.
Howard asked what's up with the name Belle Knox. Belle said that the Belle is the Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Knox is from Amanda Knox. She said that's how she came up with that.
Howard said if you want to buy her Doc Johnson toy line you can check out BelleKnoxProducts.com. Howard said you can also vote for her to win a Fanny Award at TheFannys.com.
Howard said Belle is just trying to get through school and this is how she's paying for it. Howard said he can't imagine having her in class in school. Howard said she's 18 and so fucking horny all the time. Howard said he would be begging her to have sex. Belle said no one wants to fuck her anymore at school. She said she is horny though. Howard said she's saying that she is horny and she wants to fuck. She said she always has her vibrator. Howard said could afford to get out of the dorm if she wants. She said she hates dorm life but she has a roommate who is really great. She said that she's her best friend there.
Howard asked if Belle has ever asked her roommate to stay out of the room when she's fucking someone. Belle said that's called being Sexiled and she has. She said she's a really bad roommate. She said that she'll walk around the room naked and the roommate doesn't seem to mind it. Howard asked if the other girl's parents are okay with that. Belle said they are and they're great. Howard said he wishes her luck. He said they'll see what happens. Howard told her to be careful out there. Howard said they'll see what happens. Howard gave her some more plugs and asked if she has had guys offer her money to have sex. She said she has. She said they'll offer her like $8,000 to have sex. Howard asked why not do that. She said they haven't been tested. Howard said she must have a pretty vagina. She said she has a beefy, meaty vagina. Howard asked if that's holds her back in porn. She said that it works for her. She said that she has big lips. Howard said he has big, beefy ass lips. Belle said that's hot. Howard said he could talk about this all day but he has to wrap up.
Howard said he read that she was a cutter. She said she did that when she was younger. She said that a lot of people go through that. She said she was depressed and she didn't know how to deal with it. She said it was hard growing up and becoming a young woman. Howard asked what she did to cut herself. She said she didn't want to talk about that. She said that she sued a razor and she doesn't encourage anyone to do it. She said she has scars from it. Howard said that's heavy duty. She said the scars have character. Howard asked if she was ever locked up over that. She said she was not. She said she's perfectly sane. Howard asked if she ever cuts herself now. She said she doesn't even though people would like her to kill herself. Howard asked if Robin was ever a cutter. Robin said she was not. Howard asked if she has big, beefy lips. Robin said no to that too.
Howard spent a little more time asking Belle about what she's done with guys and found out she had a guy who ended up putting her in a time out in a corner after she was being bad while he had her leashed and collared. Howard asked if she would ever go to the bathroom on a newspaper in a corner. She said it depends on what he'd pay her.
Howard said he used to get yelled at when he was a kid and he can't imagine what would happen if he got into porn. Howard said his parents still yell at him even though he's an old fart. Belle said her parents respect her decisions but they did want her to stop.
Howard asked if she has ever gone to a strip club. She said that she has and it was fun. Howard asked if she was on The View. She said she was and she had a good time there. She said Whoopi gave her a hug but Sheri Sheppard said her heart hurt for her.
Howard wished Belle the best of luck with her career. Howard said they have Anderson Cooper coming in next. Belle said he's cute. Howard said he'll yell at her if he sees her. Howard went to break father that.
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Howard came back and said he had Anderson Cooper coming in next. He said he's anxious to meet him. He said he has a CNN 1 hour documentary he's there to plug. Howard said you see someone on TV for a long time and you get confused when you see them in person. Anderson said that Howard is much thinner than he thought.
Howard said he was thinking about Anderson today. He said that he knows he took lots of risks doing his thing. Howard said Ronan Farrow is doing a show and he's not doing well. He asked if Anderson is happy about that. Anderson laughed and said no. Howard said he used to risk his life doing his job. He said this kid comes in and he's Mia Farrow's son. He said he doesn't have the work behind him. Anderson said he doesn't know. He said he doesn't know the guy and he's never met him. He said he is smart and he has worked in Afghanistan. Howard said you have to work to get your skill though. Anderson said it does help to be in the field reporting. He said that he is qualified to host a show. He said he hasn't watched it though.
Howard said he would be pissed if this Ronan Farrow came in and got a job. Howard Anderson why is it that FOX is doing so well and CNN is not. He asked if the days of the advocate are here. Howard said you need to have a point of view now and give it to the audience. Anderson said that in cable news the network with strong opinions do seem to do well. He said they're entertaining. He said CNN has done well when there is news to report on. He said it goes through peaks and valleys.
Howard asked if Anderson would go to FOX if they asked him to. Anderson said he would not. He said he is a fan of their network and some of the people they have on there. He said that CNN is really the only place that will send you to the front line anymore. He said he thinks CNN is about reporting on the things that are happening.
Howard asked if Jeff Zuker has ever asked him to do something to pump up the network ratings. Anderson said he really hasn't. Howard said they treat him well there so he must want to do the best he can. Anderson said he has been there for 12 years and he worried for years and years. He said he has a worry line on his forehead. He said she used to worry a ton. Howard said he grew up in a family that's got money. Anderson said that's not true. He said his mother did inherit a lot of money but it's not as much as they say. Howard said he'd think that he wouldn't worry if he grew up around that money. Anderson said that he got obsessed when he was about 10 when there was the threat of a financial collapse. He said he got into child modeling. Howard said no one ever offered him that job. He said he didn't even know it existed.
Howard asked Anderson about what his mother thought about that. He said she thought it was odd but she told him to go do it if he wanted. He said that he was afraid of the money situation and he wanted to make some of his own. He said he went out on his own and did it. He said he worked for Ralph Lauren and he was a fit model. He said they would fit clothes to him. He said he did ads for Macys and things like that. He said he was getting $75 an hour as a 10 year old kid. Anderson said that he did have a guy offer him money to have sex. He said he just stopped doing the whole thing. He said he was 13 at the time. He said he wishes he remembered his name. He said he'd like to tell people. Howard asked how much money it was. Anderson said it was $2,500. He said he felt that was kind of low. Howard said he was gay at the time though. Anderson said he was but he wasn't thinking about having sex with anyone at that age. Anderson said he must have seen that he didn't have a parent with him at the time. Howard said he was done with modeling after that. Anderson said he was but he had saved some money.
Howard asked Anderson about going to Yale and if the world is his oyster. Anderson asked what that means. Howard said that you are smart and you did well on your SATs. Anderson said there were some smart people there but also some people who weren't so smart.
Howard said Anderson tried to get a job at ABC after he graduated and they turned him away. He was a Yale graduate. Anderson said that Diane Sawyer was there and she had done a story about his mom. He said that they strung him along for about 6 months. He said they were nice about it but it's a tough business to break into.
Howard said after Regis left Kelly had him on as a co-host. Howard said he was rumored to be the replacement for Regis. Howard asked what happened there. Anderson said that he got another job in the mean time. He said that he loves Kelly though and she told him to say hi to Howard and give him a kiss. He said he's not sure he wanted to do that. Howard said he's too uptight.
Anderson said his brother committed suicide when he was in college and he ended up doing a bunch of different jobs. Howard said that was plastered all over the news when his brother killed himself. Anderson said he was close to his brother. He said that it makes you re think everything about that person. He said he knew he was having some issues before he did it but he didn't know the details. He said he didn't deal with it when he found out he was in therapy. Howard said it must make you think about what was going on with him. Anderson said it was inconceivable to him that he'd do that. Howard said you think that he has everything. Anderson said there isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't think about his death. He said that they say that you're more likely to kill yourself if you have a family member that did it. Howard said it's a very selfish thing to do. Anderson said that he doesn't think his brother was consciously thinking at the time. He said that he did it in front of his mom and he was disoriented at the time. He said his mother asked if he was okay and then he ran up to his room on the second floor and she ran after him. He jumped off a ledge. He said there was hesitation there but then he jumped.
Howard asked if he was on drugs. Anderson said he wasn't. He said that he was depressed and scared about a lot of stuff. Howard said it sounds like a reaction to a medication or something. Anderson said they thought that it could be something like his asthma medication or something. He said that suicide leaves you wondering. He said that's what it does to people.
Anderson said he put himself in dangerous situations after that. He said he was really interested in surviving though. He said that you wonder why you survive and your brother didn't.
Howard asked if he video taped himself over there. Anderson said he made a fake press pass and snuck into Burma and did some reports. Howard asked if he had a death wish. Anderson said he was in pain and he wanted to be around other people who were in pain. He said he wanted to be around people who had life and death as a real issue. He said he was dealing with that every day. He said his mom was very cool about it. He said she could have stopped him and asked him not to go.
Howard said his early childhood had to be great with famous people being around. Anderson said it was. He said he met Charlie Chaplin. He said his dad was still alive at the time. He said he came back to get an Academy Award and his parents threw a party for him. He was an old man by that time though. He said Truman Capote was there at the house a lot. He said he was kind of gross though. He said he didn't really like him. Howard said he used to like seeing him on TV.
Anderson said that Gordon Parks was also around the house. Howard said he must have been expected to behave around the house. Anderson said they were right there at the regular table. He said there was no kid's table. He said he would rather be at that table now when he's around Kelly Ripa's kids.
Howard asked if he lived a closeted life for a long time. Anderson said he knew from the time he was 5 that he was gay. He said they had gay friends over at the house all the time and it wasn't a big issue. He said he came out in high school to his friends. He said that there were some years that you wish it would be easier but it was totally natural and totally right. Howard asked if he ever worried in his professional life that someone would find out. Anderson said that he was traveling to dangerous places by himself where it was illegal to be gay. He said he didn't want that to get him killed. He said he felt he had enough baggage being his mom's son and he didn't want to be known as a gay reporter. He said he never talked about his mom until much later in his career.
Howard asked if it sucks having a famous mom. Anderson said it really doesn't. He said that his mom isn't about putting pressure on him to do anything. He said that if he was making Macrame couches she'd be fine with that.
Howard asked Anderson about how he did his reporting back in the day when he was alone. Anderson said he would record himself. He said he would have to hire kids in Burma to stand guard for him. He said he'd ask them to put down their AK-47 to help him out once in a while.
Howard asked if he studied journalism in school. Anderson said he didn't. He said he watched a lot of TV. He said he just did his reports like a regular guy.
Howard asked if he carried a gun himself. Anderson said he didn't. Howard asked who picked up on him once Channel 1 picked up his reports. Anderson said he went to Somalia and did some more reporting and he sent them more tapes. He said he guaranteed him 10 stories and they made a deal with him. He said that was back in 1992. He said there were people dying from famine over there and he did reports on that and other things and they had a big impact on channel 1.
Howard said Anderson saved some kid and fed him out in the field. Anderson said that was a long story. He said someone was trying to disperse a crowed and they hit a kid on the head with a block. He said he ran over to take some video but then realized it was a bad idea and grabbed the kid and brought him back with him instead. Howard said that's a hero. Anderson didn't think it was. Howard insisted it was.
Howard asked when Anderson went grey. Anderson said it happened early on but he had no desire to dye it. He said he doesn't do the spa thing. Howard said his wife wants him to do that kind of thing but it's not for him.
Howard said there was a rumor that Anderson was going to replace Matt Lauer or something. Anderson said he did talk to someone there but there was never an offer. He said that he really likes CNN. He said that they will let him to go Ukraine for a week and no one else is going to do that.
Howard asked Anderson if he has a boyfriend. Anderson said he has a partner he's had for about 5 years. Howard asked if he is in love. Anderson said of course he is. Howard asked if he goes to these dangerous places with him. Anderson said he does not. Howard asked why he still goes to these places. Anderson said why not. He said that's his job.
Howard asked Anderson about taking on the syndicated show ''Anderson Live'' and if that was horrible for him. Anderson said it wasn't. He said that it was fine. Howard asked if he would host a game show. Anderson said he would host Jeopardy because he loves that show. Anderson said he likes new experiences. He said as long as you're not pretending then it's fine. He said that he wouldn't want to do The Mole again but it was an interesting learning experience.
Howard asked what The Mole was. Anderson said it was very confusing. He tried to give Howard a short explanation and it was confusing. Howard asked about the show he did in syndication. Anderson said that lasted 2 years. He said he wishes it had gone on longer. Howard said it could have made him a lot of money. Anderson said he thinks he does alright. Anderson said there is no inheritance. Robin said that doesn't mean that someone might not leave it for him. Howard asked what he will do if she does. Anderson said his mother has made it clear to him that it's not happening. Howard said his mom is someone who inherited money and did incredibly well. Anderson said there aren't a lot of people who have done that. He said if he had that pot of gold waiting for him he wouldn't have been as motivated to do the things he has. Howard asked what his mother is going to do with the money. Anderson said he has no idea. Howard said he finds that crazy. He said that he's her son and she should leave it to him. Anderson said his mom doesn't like it that she got the money. He said she made more in her personal life than she inherited. He said she did the designer jeans thing and was the first one to do it. Howard said he believes that she'll leave him money.
Howard said Donald Trump inherited money and did well. Anderson said that there are a few people you can name who did well. He said he grew up with people who inherited a lot of money and never did anything with it.
Howard asked if Anderson had a child, would he leave the kid money. Anderson said he would want them working early on and get that sense of responsibility. He said he might leave them some money but he's not sure. Howard said it seems so loving to him to do that.
Howard said to him it's a risk to do a talk show. He said when the thing starts not working do you worry that it's the end of your career. Anderson said he was doing two shows a day and it was a tough schedule. He said he was working every day of the week. Howard said he could have quit one of the jobs and worked on the syndicated show. Anderson said he was burnt out by the end of it. He said he didn't want to quit anything. He said it was a relief when he got rid of that job.
Howard asked if Anderson works out. Anderson said he had shoulder surgery so he hasn't worked out a lot. Howard asked if he would do Botox or anything like that. Anderson said he hasn't yet but he doesn't know. Howard asked if he has had a cheek filler. Anderson said he hasn't. He said men in the news business can be old and grey haired but women have to wear makeup and cover every wrinkle. Howard asked how he got the gig on 60 Minutes. Anderson said he grew up watching that show so he loved that he got the job. He said CNN was okay with it too. Howard said CNN must have said to him that he had to calm down and stick with one job. Anderson said that they have had other people work more than one job there at CNN.
Howard asked if they pay him well at CNN. Anderson said they do. Howard asked if they pay him well at 60 Minutes. Anderson said they do there too. He said he does 10 stories a year over there. Howard said he has to be there to work. Anderson said he works on weekends and holidays from CNN. He said he's going to do a shoot for 60 Minutes and he has to take a vacation from CNN to do that.
Howard asked when he has time for his partner. Anderson said he has time for him but not so much for friends. He said he has lost a few friends over the years because of that schedule.
Howard asked Anderson what he does for research. Anderson said like Sarah Palin he reads all newspapers. He keeps up with the news like that. Robin said that Anderson does all of these reports from places like Somalia and nothing really ever changes. Anderson said he believes there is something important about bearing witness. He said he doesn't want anyone dying without people knowing about it. He said learning people's names and learning something about them is what he's helping people do.
Howard asked where this Malaysian plane is. Anderson said it's insane. He said this is the craziest thing. He said he's kind of obsessed with the story. Howard asked which gig pays him more. Anderson said CNN is a daily show so that's the one. He said CNN is the big one for him. Howard said he must be getting good money from 60 Minutes. Howard asked if he worked with Ruth Streeter. Anderson said he has worked with her. He said he works with a few people over there.
Howard asked who the worst person is in TV news right now. Anderson wasn't saying. Anderson said he loves Brian Williams and his daughter too. He said he love Lena Dunham too and asked if Howard has had her on. Howard said he had her at the Birthday show. He said that he hasn't done a sit down yet. Anderson said that would be good. He said he likes Lena but not her tattoos. He said he's obsessed with tattoos. Howard showed him some of the tattoos he has and how simple he's kept them. Howard said there isn't much that he feels he has to put on his body.
Howard asked if he had a lot of interaction with Piers Morgan over there. Anderson said he would see him in the makeup room sometimes. Howard asked if he was a pain in the ass like they say he was. Anderson said he thinks he got along just fine with the makeup people but he's not sure about the rest of the people there. Anderson said he's worried about his staff and the people there. He said he thinks Piers will be fine though. Anderson said he likes the bit players. He said he sees an old movie and he reads the bit player's names and wonders about what they're doing now. Howard said he is too. He said he wonders about the people who appear in one scene. Anderson said he does too.
Howard said he wonders about the people in radio too. Howard said he doesn't know what became of a lot of people in the business.
Howard asked Anderson about working with Kathy Griffin and what that's like. Anderson said that it's a fun evening and it's great working with her. Howard said Kathy has said that she's jealous of his relationship with Cher. Anderson said he has met her a couple of times but that's it. He said he's not friends with her.
Howard asked Anderson about working with Andy Cohen. Anderson said that Andy is the one who told him to do this show. He said that he is close with Andy. Anderson told Howard he lives in an old firehouse that he renovated. He said that he likes architecture and history and he loves living there. Anderson said it was built in 1905. He said they have a stable in the back for horses because a lot of the engines were driven by horses. He said the firehouse is like 4 stories and about 10,000 square feet. He said it's a one bedroom. He said he doesn't want guests. Howard said it was $4.3 million. Anderson said that's correct. Howard said it sounds like a valuable piece of real estate. Anderson said that he wanted to save the building and people were afraid he was going to tear it down. He said he was afraid they were going to tear it down so he wanted to save it. He said he returned the building to 1905 so he built a gym to look like it was from 1905. He said he has a lot of old stuff in there and it looks cool. He said he had a party for Andy Cohen for his book there. He said that Andy knows everyone so he had all of his friends there. He said it was like it was for him but it was really Andy's friends. Anderson said that Gayle King asked how he rented the place and he told her that he lives there. Anderson said the place has a tiny kitchen and the stable in the back with a hay loft. Howard asked what it's like having strangers at his house. He said he'd be worried about people stealing stuff. Anderson said he put about a lot of stuff. He said that Wendy Williams was there and he thought she was going to fall off the circular stairway. He said it was crazy.
Howard said Anderson has a 1 hour documentary coming up soon. Anderson said this is about a woman who lost one of her legs in the Boston bombing. He said she was determined to dance again. Anderson said he told her when she's ready to dance again he'd dance with her. He said she is one of the many examples of how strong the people are there in Boston. He said that it's powerful to go and powerful to hear these stories. He said that she is dancing again.
Howard asked what it is about 60 Minutes that people like. Anderson said that it's produced well and they're always interesting. He said that even if it's about finance and you don't get it they do it in an interesting way. Howard said he thought it was going to fall apart after Don Hewitt left but they're still doing well.
Howard asked if Anderson is hit on every 10 minutes. Anderson laughed and said he doesn't know. He said Howard must get hit on all the time too. He said everyone wants that one and a half inches. Howard asked if he ever talks about his penis size. Anderson said he never does. Howard said he thinks that he's got a big one. Howard said he thinks that most people have a small one and they can't brag about it.
Howard asked if there will ever be a sex tape with him in it out there. Anderson said no. He said they don't record that. Howard asked what his partner does. Anderson said he owns some bars around the city. Howard asked if he goes to the bars. Anderson said sure. Howard asked if he will marry this guy he's with. Anderson said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he's monogamous. Anderson said he's a traditional guy.
Howard asked what he eats to stay in shape. Anderson said he eats oatmeal for breakfast. He said he eats some berry thing for lunch. He said you put some bananas and berries in it and it's great. He said it's like a gruel. He said it's like he's in prison. He said for a while he was eating at Boston Market every day. He said he had a turkey meal that was like thanksgiving every day. Anderson said he will eat something every day for 6 months and then get tired of it.
Howard asked if he has interviewed President Obama. Anderson said he has several times. He said he doesn't get nervous doing it. He said he hates being nervous.
Howard asked if he can reveal his political stance. Anderson said he doesn't believe in doing that. He said he won't even say who he voted for. He said his job is not to take sides. He said that's old school but he doesn't believe in it.
Howard asked who he looks up to. Anderson said he looks up to Bob Simon at CBS. He said he does great stories there at 60 Minutes. Anderson said he used to follow him around just to see what he was seeing to tell his story. Anderson said it was fascinating to see.
Howard asked if it was tough to speak out about Alec Baldwin. Anderson said he sent out like 2 tweets about that. He said he likes Alec and he thinks he's very talented and smart. He said he doesn't want his career to be negatively impacted. He said he loves watching him do his thing. Anderson said he thought what he said when he called them a toxic little queen and then said he wanted to shove his foot up his ass but he'd probably enjoy it. Anderson said he didn't like that part of it and that he denied it being a gay reference.
Anderson said that he didn't like Alec saying he didn't know the term cock sucker was an anti-gay thing. Howard said he doesn't think about it that way either. He said that he uses it all the time but he's not thinking about it that way. Anderson said he has no beef with Alec and he really isn't worried about him. He said that Alec is still talking about him though.
Anderson said that he likes to tweet and he will block people if they get really nasty with him. He said he can get caught up in a conversation with someone on Twitter. He said that he will look at their account and read their history and respond about something they've tweeted about.
Howard said he could talk to him all day but it's 9:18 and he has to end this. Anderson said this flew by. Howard gave Anderson a plug for his ''The Survivor Diaries'' special on CNN on April 8 at 9. Howard said he's on at 8 on CNN every night too. Howard said Anderson is out there risking his life for you. Howard said you can see him in Lower Manhattan fighting fires too. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said Anderson was an interesting guy. Howard said he lives in a firehouse and he likes that. Howard said he still wants to know where his mother's money is going. Howard said he thinks that she'll leave something to him. Howard said she's Gloria Vanderbilt. Howard said he doesn't understand why she wouldn't leave it to Anderson. Howard said he meant to ask Anderson if he was ever with a woman. Robin said he knew he was gay at 5. Howard said he remembers going to Kindergarten and being charged up over a girl. Howard said he knew he liked girls. Howard said he knew he wasn't different. Robin said you just like what you like.
Howard said he sees it's late so he can't play tape. He said he has to get to it tomorrow. Howard said Pitbull is coming in tomorrow. Howard said Amy Schumer is going to be there too.
Robin asked Howard what's going on with his band. Howard said it's very exciting. Howard said Rolling Stone magazine has already named them at number 14 at the greatest bands of all time. Howard said everyone is excited about it. Howard said Jesse Ventura wants them to play the inauguration.
Gary told Howard that an agent at William Morris called asking if they're going to go out on the road. Howard said he can't be bothered with that yet. Howard said he only knows 4 songs and only about half of three of them. He said they haven't come up with a name for the band yet. He said he hasn't even picked the band members yet.
Gary said Scott is kind of bummed that he's not in the band. Howard said this is a new band. He said Scott is still in The Losers. He said they could be Stink Floyd. Gary said he likes Fleetwood Hack. Howard said he needs change in his career. He said that he can't have Scott in the band. He said that they will have all new members other than Fred. Howard said Fred is in. He said this cold lead to a tour. Gary said Sal thinks that he's in. Howard said he should tell Sal to calm down. Howard said they should play for dictators like other bands have done. Howard said they could be tapped for the next big tragedy too. Howard said he can't wait for that. Howard said it's going to be awesome. Howard said they heard form William Morris but not from Carl Oglio who put out Jackie's albums.
Jeff the Drunk called in an said that Louis C.K. was awesome on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he hasn't seen it yet. He said he is a fan of Louis though. He said his stand up is great.
Jeff said there was a great Baba Booey on the PGA coverage this weekend. Howard said he'll get that on the air tomorrow. Jeff also said he wants to try out for the band. Howard said he doesn't work there so that won't happen. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news with a story about Gwyneth Paltrow and her separation from Chris Martin. Robin said she wondered what the hell ''Conscious Uncoupling'' means. Howard said she must have felt the need to come up with a new term. Howard said he heard they ran off to the Bahamas together though. Robin said she had audio of an expert explaining what ''conscious uncoupling'' means. Howard put the word out for no one to date her so JD can get a shot at it. Howard said she's going to be forced to date JD.
Robin read a story about Nick Cannon talking about his white face thing and how he was doing it just for fun. Howard said he's going to try to get Nick to stop by this week to talk about that. Robin had some audio of Nick talking about that but Howard said he'll get a clearer answer this week.
Howard said his glasses are so dirty and he is so lazy that he won't go clean them. He said he's too lazy to get the cleaner. He said it's within arms reach but he wont get it. Howard said he's going to pace himself and not get it.
Robin said she thinks that Howard is right about ABC dismantling Good Morning America. Robin said they have taken out a second person, Josh Elliot, from the show. He's heading to the Today Show. Howard said that NBC must have forked over a lot of money to get him over there. Howard said he's going to NBC Sports but you know he'll make appearances on the Today Show.
Howard said a baby was abandoned at Burger King. He said that Jon Hein must be jealous. Robin said that Jon doesn't like Burger King. Howard said that's right. He said he'd probably want to be left at McDonald's.
Howard said he was reading about Kim Jong Un making men get hair cuts just like his. Howard said he should do that there.
Robin had some audio of Chris Christy talking at some event. Robin said he could possibly make a run for president next time around.
Robin read about a note John Lennon wrote to Phil Spector. Robin said this note was auctioned off and it went for $88,000. Robin said in the letter from about 40 years ago Lennon was upset about something going on in the studio at the time. Someone had relieved themselves on the recording console and he claimed it was Harry Nilsson or Keith Moon.
Robin read a story about what's going on in Ukraine and had some audio of John Kerry talking about that. A name came up during that clip that Howard thought about making his band name. He sang a little bit of Old Man after that. The name was Serge Ledrov or something like that. Howard went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Apple filing for a patent for see through video so people can text while they're walking. Robin said the phone would be transparent so you can see through it as you walk. Howard said it's like we're babies and can't be left alone for 5 minutes. Robin said it's just something to do.
Robin read about how they're trying to combat suicide among veterans. Robin said they say almost 1900 vets have already taken their lives this year. Robin said that war is very hard on people.
Robin read about how the climate changes are going to affect the world. Robin said we have to start taking note of what's changing. Robin said it's not going to be for the better. Howard said he just cares what happens in his lifetime.
Robin read about the missing Malaysian airliner and how they're still searching. Howard said they keep finding garbage while they're looking for the plane.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a good name for his band. He suggested AC/Feces. Howard said that's a good one. He said he still likes Stink Floyd or Serge Ledrov.
Robin read more about the missing plane and what they're doing to try to find the missing black box. Robin said the battery for the black box has about a week left so they need to find that thing quickly.
Howard asked if Robin saw The Walking Dead last night. Robin said she didn't see it yet. Howard said he stayed up to see it. Robin said she forgot to tape so she had to go to sleep. She said she taped the later episode.
Robin read about the massive mud slide in Washington State and how families are still waiting to find out if their loved ones are in the mud. Robin said another 4 bodies were found on Sunday. Robin said the debris field covers a full square mile.
Robin read a headline saying ''Usearchers in Retard'' and Howard thought she was having a stroke. Robin said it was actually ''Researchers in Utah.'' Robin read the story which was about how researchers can predict heart attacks. Robin had some audio of one of the researchers talking about that.
Robin read a story about a study that was done about how being married can extend your life. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about that and he was very hard to understand. Howard said he may not be the best spokesperson for that group. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Instagram is gaining on Twitter with account holders. Howard said Beth is on there and she likes it better than Twitter. Howard said he's not sure why it's that much different. Howard said she keeps saying it's different though. Howard said he's not sure what the difference is.
Robin read about what some parents are doing with their kids like borrowing money from them. Robin said that isn't setting a good example for kids.
Robin read about this being the opening day for baseball for a lot of teams. Robin read about some of the games that are being played today.
Robin read that Healthcare.gov is working again. Robin said the deadline to sign up is tonight at midnight. Robin said that anyone wanting to sign up will be granted an extension if they start the sign up tonight.
Robin read a story about the front man for Incubus being accused of stalking a woman. Howard said he's a rock guy and shouldn't have to stalk anyone. Robin said that he's been ordered to stay away from this woman by 300 feet. Robin said that his reps say that he has no idea who she is or where these accusations are coming from.
Robin read about Tom Petty talking about how he never expected to be around this long and he's working on a new album.
Robin asked if Howard knows the story of Noah. Howard said he knows a little bit about it. Robin said it did $34 million at the box office this weekend. Howard said that's what Maria Menounos says all the time. He had Fred play some clips of her saying ''No-wah.''
Robin said Louis C.K. was the guest host of Saturday Night Live this weekend. Howard said he got a million notes about them doing ''Black Jeopardy'' and heard that the Huffington Post did a story about how ground breaking that was. Howard said they did that bit 25 years ago. He said no one was calling it ground braking back then. Robin had a clip from that bit from SNL. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 10:15am.
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Jon said Richard continues to want to be chloroformed by Howard. He said that's another odd thing that Richard wants a man to do to him.
Gary came in and confirmed that he and Jon are very good friends but they don't go out of their way to share a bed or pee together. Gary said he asked Sal earlier if he wanted to go pee with him. He said Sal didn't get the joke at first and said he didn't have to go and then said he only goes with Richard.
Jon said the amount of knowledge Sal and Richard have about each other is amazing. He said they know a lot. Gary said Jon's wife has called asking what he would want for his birthday but he has no idea what he likes. He said he doesn't even know when Jon's birthday is. He said he has no idea what size pants he wears either. Gary said it's odd how Sal and Richard can't be separated for a minute at work. Gary said Sal and Richard must not want space from each other. Jon said they can't seem to get enough of each other.
Gary said he would say that Sal enjoys his time with Richard more than he does his time at home. He said he thinks that Richard ''gets'' Sal. He said they get jokes and they don't judge each other. He said they are a gay couple without the sex. Jon said ''supposedly.'' Jon said there is a poll up at HowardStern.com asking if Sal and Richard are gay for each other.
Gary said he thinks that Will and Jason were close but never this close. He said they get along well now and they drive in with each other but they have gone out of their way to separate themselves from each other. Gary said Will and Jason kept getting lumped in together and they wanted to separate from each other. Sal and Richard don't want to do that at all.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he understands that for the show they do wacky stuff. He said he thinks something happened between Sal and Richard while they were on the road or something. He said it wouldn't surprise him if they had a revelation some day about Richard blowing Sal or something.
Benjy asked if the guys liked peeing with other guys and crossing streams and stuff. Gary said he was always very private. He said that he may have had a guy pee into his urinal as a kid but he'd just move. Benjy said it was a fun thing when he was growing up and it's just a funny thing now. Gary said he gets it if you're friends and out on the road peeing in the woods. He said now it's 40 year old men peeing together there. Benjy said he has peed with them and it is fun. He said you feel a little naughty. He said you're breaking the rules together. Gary said that's fine but it has to be wrong when it's the 500th time.
Jon said Richard likes watching gay porn with JD because they laugh at it. He said anything gay Richard finds funny. Benjy said he does too. He said maybe deep down it's a gay thing but he wonders if gay people find that offensive that people find gay sex funny. Jon said they should ask George that next time he's there. Gary said they could have asked Anderson Cooper that today.
Benjy said that he does use the term cock sucker for a man. He said he doesn't really think about it. He said it just means they're an asshole. Gary said he thinks of it as being a woman. He said he doesn't think of it being a man on a man.
Jon asked Ronnie about Richard and Sal and their relationship. He asked if he finds their relationship peculiar. Ronnie said that they do everything together and it is peculiar. Jon asked if he thinks that they'd rather be with each other than their wives. Ronnie said he thinks Sal is more that way than Richard is. He said Sal jut talks about his kids and Richard.
Jon asked Ronnie about Richard pitching the bit where he gets chloroformed. Ronnie said he missed that today. Gary said that's been going on for years. Ronnie remembered the bit but he didn't hear it today. Ronnie said he thinks that Sal and Richard have done something at some point.
Jon took a call from a guy who said maybe it's just him but he thinks Richard and Sal's relationship is one of those pure loving relationships. He said they don't exist like that these days because guys don't want people thinking that they're gay. Gary asked who the caller loves as a man and if he would cuddle with them. The caller said his brothers are close and he would not cuddle with them. Benjy said that his first guess was that he was gay based on his voice. The caller said he is not. He thanked Benjy for dropping him into the vortex so he gave him a ''fuck you very much.'' Gary apologized to him for that.
The caller said he doesn't like Sal very much but he finds it sweet that the two of them love each other the way they do. Gary said they show it in ways that not everyone would. He said there's nothing wrong with that.
Benjy asked the caller if he has a male friend that he would think about cuddling with. The caller said he has male friends that he would hug but that's about it. Ronnie said that's a different thing. He said he has never thought of that himself but there's nothing wrong with that. Gary asked if there are women that you know who you'd cuddle with. Ronnie said that there is no woman that his girlfriend would let him cuddle with. He said that's not going to fly.
Jon said that the discussion about inheritance cam up today. He said that Anderson grew up in that Vanderbilt family and that's a very wealthy family. Gary said Howard is obsessed with that whole thing. He said Howard would not be the person he is if he had gotten an inheritance like that. Gary said if Howard had that then he might not be the person he is today. He said what he went through is what made him who he is today.
Gary said he knows someone who is part of a family like that. He said that person told him that they are entitled to that money but if they take it they're not doing the right thing. He said that they tell them that you should go be your own person. Jon said that's hard to instill in a lot of people who grow up like that. He said he gives a lot of credit to parents who can get their kids to do that.
Gary said he saw a news piece about a kid who went out and partied until he was about 30 and then decided he had to do something about it. He felt he wasn't worth anything. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
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Gary said one of the things he really liked was that Anderson said he started listening to Howard in the car when he had to drive a lot. He said that's when he started listening to the show and found out he's a great interviewer. He said he hates it when people discount Howard without knowing the show. He also thanked Andy Cohen for pushing Anderson to do the show.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Belle Knox and asked the guys if they thinks that employers will be able to look past what she's doing. Gary said he doesn't think so but she knows that too and she's working toward that. Gary said they were talking about if she really has to do this to make money. Gary said that one caller said she could go somewhere other than Duke. He said she's doing it for the money but she also likes it.
Jon said he thought that the $1000 per scene was low. Ronnie said the rates have gone down over the years. He said they used to make $2-3000 per scene if they were big. Gary said at the end of the day you're having sex with strangers. He said he's not sure why she doesn't want to do the escort thing. Ronnie said if he was her he'd rather do that than porn.
Benjy said if they said they wanted to give her a full ride to Duke but she had to stop porn, what would she do. Ronnie said he thinks she likes doing it. Benjy said she does it for the money too though. He said that he wonders if you like that kind of sex without being damaged. Jon said she was saying yes. Jon said he doesn't believe that. Ronnie said he doesn't either. Gary said he thinks it's tough for an 18 year old to know if they're damaged. He said that it may take a little longer for her to realize it.
Jon asked Jon Leiberman if he ever thought of a career in porn. Leiberman said he never did. He said her future could be bright. He said that she has to be good at her job in the future. He said he thinks that she'll be judged on that and not on her porn career. Jon said that they may look back on it and say that she was 18 when she was doing this and maybe it would have been different if it was later in life. Leiberman said that he thinks it comes down to her being a good lawyer. Gary said he's not sure that he'd pick her over 4 other lawyers if he had a choice.
Jon asked Leiberman what he had for them in the news. Leiberman mentioned that captain Janks has announced he's retiring from phony phone calls. Gary said he got a note from him last week asking to be booked on the show to celebrate his 25th year of doing calls. He didn't get back to him and then Saturday morning he said that he was retiring. Gary said he thinks there's something going on there. Ronnie said he's been semi-retired for a while now. He hasn't been making calls lately. Leiberman said they have some other stories about Richard and Sal and Belle Knox as well. He got in a plug for Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45 this afternoon. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:05am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he wanted to compliment someone. He said he was reading about the band the Flaming Lips. He said they felt they could add to a Pink Floyd album, Dark Side of the Moon, so they made their own album that you play at the same time. Howard said he wants to hear that. Howard asked if they have a way of hearing that. Gary said he has to work on it. Howard said he was telling Gary and Jon Hein this morning that the idea is so much fun.
Howard said he likes great artists like David Cho. Howard said he came on the show a few years ago and he's more than just a graffiti artist. Howard said his ideas in his book are very Salvador Dali-esque. Howard said he paints a picture of women on their period and he punches himself in the nose to get the blood for the women. Howard said it's disturbing and hard to look at but it's brilliant. Howard said the blood artist thing has been over done but this is pretty interesting. He said some guys will use all kinds of bodily fluids for their art. He said people can inspire you with their fantastic ideas.
Howard said there's a book out that Dan Eldon's mom put out (The Journey is the Destination: The Journals of Dan Eldon). Howard said this guy Dan went around the world photographing things and he was unafraid. He said he would go around the world showing the atrocities going on. He said there a group that ended up stoning Dan to death at the age of 20. Howard said his mom put out his journals and they were amazing. He said you'd be inspired by it. Howard said there are people with great ideas and he loves that.
Howard said the idea that the Flaming Lips had was great. Howard said his new band is going to put out a record to accompany the Flaming Lips who are accompanying Pink Floyd. Howard said you'll have 3 records playing at once.
Howard said that they're going to be very busy today. He said Pitbull is coming in today. Howard said he has beat the odds like crazy. He said he has such a horrible background but he persevered. Howard said Amy Schumer will be there too.
Howard said there were a bunch of Baba Booey's at the PGA match in Texas over the weekend. Howard played some clips of some people yelling out ''Baba Booey'' as the players were swinging. Howard said he has two of them within a minute. He said this is another golf tournament. He said that the announcers get annoyed with the distractions. Howard said they think the golfers are getting used to the distractions. Howard said even after they talk about that someone yells out ''Baba Booey.'' Howard played that clip and you hear a big Baba Booey and then the announcers are talking about the player getting used to heckling. Then someone swings and you hear another Baba Booey. Robin said they wait until the shot is taken. Howard said the guy must know it's coming though.
Howard said don Dr. Drew's show someone got in a Baba Booey. Howard said as Dr. Drew was saying goodbye to someone on his show the guy got in a Baba Booey. Howard played that one too. Howard said that guy was named Psycho Mike.
Howard said he thinks that the Baba Booeys are the main event and the game is the distraction.
Howard said Mayor Deblasio was at a Mets game and got booed there. Howard said he came out and pitched and he talked to Gary and Jon Hein about that. Howard said he can't believe that a New York team can be so poorly run.
Howard said people say that if a New York team wins something that they bought the win. He said it's not that easy though. He said there's more to it than that. Howard said the last time the Mets won a championship was in 1986. He said he doesn't get how they can't put together a decent team. Howard said he remembers going to a game with his dad when Shea stadium opened. He said that they sucked but it's kind of weird how they never get good. Howard said he doesn't understand sports management enough to get it.
Howard said Ronnie told him that Charlie Sheen got married to a Miss Howard TV. Howard said he's either dating her or married her. Howard said that Ronnie had her as his Hot Chick of the Week and she ended up being a Miss Howard TV too. Gary said they asked her to come on the show and she turned them down. Howard said now she's a lady and she's with Charlie Sheen. Howard said they help people out and they end up abandoning them.
Howard played a clip of Franklin Graham talking about how gay people can't have children. Howard said he's Billy Graham's son and that's it. He said he's figured it all out. Howard played more of the clip where Graham is talking about how gay people can't have children because it's biologically impossible. He said they can recruit children into their cause and he believes in protecting children from exploitation.
Howard said he states the obvious. Howard said it's like he's saying that men do not have vaginas. Howard asked who this guy is and why he got to inherit this. He asked why this guy is allowed to say this shit without being ashamed. Howard said no one is shaming this asshole for saying this stuff. Howard said the guy is so full of himself. Howard asked how this guy has money. He said he's talking about how he supports Vladimir Putin because he's protecting children from the gay thing. Howard said this guy is out of his mind. He said that Putin isn't interested in protecting children.
Howard played more of the clip of Graham talking about how Obama is pushing the gay agenda on people. He decided that he'd had enough of that subject and stopped the conversation with the guy he was talking to.
Robin said that guy sounds like he hasn't been touched by time. She said he sounds just like his dad. She said he's imitating his father. Howard said these guys with the religion make a fortune from creating these dumb statements. Howard said he has some audio of Pat Robertson talking about the gays too. Howard played some audio of Robertson talking about how men would be stoned to death in the past if they were gay. Robin said they also stoned women. Robertson was making it sound like he wants that stoning to come back. Howard asked what this guy is saying. He let the clip play through some more and Robertson was going on and on about how males and females are supposed to marry and bring forth children. Howard said he'd like to know why these broadcasters are putting this kind of stuff on the air. Howard said he wants to know who is putting this shit out.
Howard played some edited clips of Robertson talking about wanting to stick his enormous cock in Jesus. Howard said he wishes he'd have a nervous breakdown on the air. Howard played another clip of him talking about sticking his cock in a glory hold and having a 9 year old jerk him off.
Howard said the 700 club airs on ABC Family. Howard asked why they're comfortable airing that bullshit. Robin said they probably put on a disclaimer about that. Howard said this is where young kids watch that shit.
Jon Hein came in and said that ABC bought the Family channel and Pat Robertson owned the channel so he gets to stay on. Howard said he can't believe the guy has to beg for money. He said the whole thing is sickening. Howard said he blames Jon for that. Howard said Jon knows everything about TV. He said it's amazing. Howard said he loves TV but he doesn't know all of that stuff. He said Jon knows way more than he does. He said it's bordering on mentally ill.
Howard said he loves TV. He said he watched Arrow last night and he's getting annoyed with the show but it's good. He said they have to stop calling him The Arrow and not the Green Arrow. Howard said he's not sure why it's such a big deal to call him the Green Arrow. Howard said it's ridiculous. Howard said it's kind of a bummer.
Howard said he also watched ''Justified'' and it's so good. Robin said she's annoyed about the season because they're trying to move one shipment of heroin. Howard said it's kind of like Sons of Anarchy. He said they're like the Bad News Gang and morons who can't move things along. Howard said Justified is great though. He said there are so many good shows on.
Howard said Jon Hein knows about sports too but he looks like he's never played a sport in his life. Howard asked where he does most of his TV watching. Jon said it's in his living room. He said there are 4 TVs in his house. Howard asked if most of his parenting went on in that room. Jon said when his kids were younger he wasn't there in front of the TV so much. He said now they can find him there in front of the TV. Jon said you can see the indentation in his couch from where he sits.
Howard said he imagines that the TV is on all the time. Jon said his wife doesn't mind it. Howard asked if he watched TV all day long. Jon said it's mostly in the afternoon and evening. Howard asked if he has any hobbies or interests. Jon said he does. He said he used to play sports quite a bit. He said he can work out while watching TV in his basement. He said he and his wife play catch outside once in a while. He said he'll play with his dog too.
Howard asked if he gets eye strain from watching TV. Jon said he doesn't. Howard asked if he snacks while watching TV. Jon said he can watch TV from the kitchen but they turn if off when they're eating dinner.
Howard said that Adam West and Burt Ward are the worst actors. Howard said he loved the Batman TV show but he didn't want to see that campy Batman.
Howard said he loved the original Superman TV show. He said that it was great when the guy got fat and wore that Superman suit. He said he had tits. Howard asked if Jon interviewed Adam West once and he got pissed when he said that the TV show was campy. Jon said he did. He said he was talking about what a masterful piece of camp it was. He said Adam shot him a look and he took such pride in what they did. Jon said he's not allowed to call it camp. Jon said Adam is still around and doing voices for Family Guy. Howard said that Batman was such shit. Jon said he loved the show. Jon said he thought the Batmobile was great. Howard said he did watch it but he didn't like it.
Howard thanked Jon for coming in and said they should bury him in a TV when he dies. They went to break after that.
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Robin asked if there is an ending. Howard said it's up to him. He said he's not sure what his psychiatrist is saying. Howard said he can't seem to get out of therapy. He said he'd like to do less but he can't do that according to his guy. Howard said he's too busy to go so much.
Howard took a call from Shandor who said he loved the Anderson Cooper interview. He asked Howard about cell phones and things and where he thinks it'll end. He asked if they'll put things in your teeth as a microphone. Howard said he has no idea. He said the technology will keep going on and on. He asked what's wrong with that guy. He said he's usually right on with his questions.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening to the show since the 80s. He said he agrees with him about Pat Robertson but his problem with him is that he's being a little hypocritical. He said that they used to go after Howard to get him off the air and now he's going after them. Howard said he just can't believe anyone would listen to him. He said he doesn't get why ABC believes in what he has to say. Howard said he's not against free speech. The caller said that's what they used to say about him. Howard said that's not the same thing. Howard said these people were asking the government to take him off the air. He said he's not asking the government to take them off the air. Howard said these people used to ask the government to get him off the air so he couldn't speak. Howard said he doesn't think they should do that to this guy. He said all he's saying is he can't believe that there are people who give this asshole money. Howard said he had to get out of this call when he heard noise coming from the guy's phone. He said he had to go calm down so he can talk to Pitbull. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said Pitbull is a huge star. He said that he's sold millions of records. Pitbull came in and said it's good seeing him. Howard said his story is amazing. Howard said he came along at the right time. He said that it seems like it's his time. Howard said the most impressive video he's ever seen is Pitbull in concert. Howard said a guy was throwing money at him and that insulted him. Pitbull said the guy kept throwing it and that's an insult. He said they call it making it rain now but you don't do that because you'll get robbed on your way out of the strip club. He said people know better than to do that.
Howard said while he's performing he pulls this guy on stage and he knocks this fucker right out. Howard said he was a big guy too. Pitbull said that was the luckiest punch he's ever pulled. Howard said he looked like a professional boxer in that clip. Pitbull said he loves boxing but he's been fucked up before. He said you can't fight unless you've been fucked up.
Howard said he didn't miss a beat in the song or a dance step. He said he knocked this guy right out. Pitbull said that the guy was warned not to do it and he kept going. He said he threw money right in his face so he knocked him out.
Howard asked if he felt he lost his temper. Pitbull said he did. He said he felt bad about the whole thing. He said this was about 3 or 4 years ago and he saw the video about a month after it was shot and he figured the guy deserved it. Howard said he's envious that he knows how to handle himself like that. Howard said it must be a good feeling. Pitbull said he's been in a lot of situations.
Howard said he likes that he picked the name Pitbull. He said that he has said that he is like a Pitbull because he's too stupid to know when to give up. Howard asked where he grew up. Pitbull said he grew up in Miami. He said he lived in good and bad neighborhoods and the worst neighborhoods. He said that the worst things he saw were in the semi-good neighborhoods.
Howard said Pitbull is up on stage and he's very vulnerable up there. Howard said it has to be scary up there. Pitbull said in San Antonio he got hit in the head with a bottle so it is very vulnerable. He said that stage is where you give everything you've got.
Howard asked if he was scared the first time he was on stage. Pitbull said he was brought to a show that Luther Campbell did. He said that he did some of the craziest stuff on stage. He said that Luther was Uncle Like in 2 Live Crew. Pitbull said that he got drunk before the show and Luther introduced him. He said he got up on stage and he thought he was rapping in his head. He said he started rapping but he was must mumbling and slurring his words. He said he was saying nothing at all. He said he wasn't musical or anything. He said that Luther told them to get this mother fucker off stage. Pitbull said on his way out he wanted to get another beer. He said he ended up falling in the cooler as he was getting the beer.
Howard said he had that failure but he came right back. Pitbull said that Luke teaches you by letting you get burnt. He said that Luther kept him on tour with him. He said that he learned by doing that.
Howard said he read that the first check he got from Luke ended up bouncing. Pitbull said he as living in South Miami in 1998 or 1999. He said he had to ride his bike down there and they told him they had insufficient funds. He said he didn't have a quarter in his pocket. He said the next day they had the money so it worked out.
Howard said he thinks about his life and his name Pitbull. He said he beat the odds. Howard said his mother came from Cuba. Pitbull said she came over in operation Peter Pan. He said that she was part of the revolution. He said that she saw things going on down there and she had to get out. Howard said she was a stripper back then. Pitbull said she wasn't really a stripper but she worked in a titty bar. He said she did a lot of things actually. Pitbull said his dad was selling coke back in the day. Howard said his dad abandoned him when he was 4. Pitbull said he doesn't say that but it was a crazy life. Howard said his dad should have been around when he was 4. Pitbull said that's what built his character. Howard said he's turning his dad into a good guy. Pitbull said when he was about 20 years old he was doing something putting something on the bottom of a car. He said that a guy told him that he was going to end up dead if he kept that up. Howard asked what he was doing to the car. Pitbull said he was doing some gun stuff.
Howard asked if he ever thought about going into the family business of drug dealing. Pitbull said that taught him a lot about the streets. He said that you can take something and make something out of it from nothing. Howard said he must have had to hide that artistic side or he'd get his ass kicked. Pitbull said that you have to watch out for the guys who are quiet. He said they are the ones making money and the very dangerous ones.
Howard asked if he feels people's envy now that he's making it. Howard said he must feel it from the people who are jealous. Pitbull said he feels it. He said a lot of people from the neighborhood don't know what it's like to grow. He said he makes music to get away from the streets and they don't know why he doesn't make music for them anymore. He said he's trying to grow. He said they don't get that. Pitbull said that he tells them that he has sold out and sold out arenas.
Howard asked if he can be friends with people from his old neighborhood. Pitbull said he still has friends but it's a very select few. He said they wanted to help him get out of the neighborhood. He said they had vision and they had respect. He said he has some guys that always took care of him and he brought them down to the Dominican Republic to show them what happens when you grow.
Howard asked Pitbull about teaching the kids in the neighborhood about what he's done. Pitbull said that you can show them what you can do and that can change them.
Howard asked how old he was when he went to a foster home. Pitbull said his mother raised him. He said that his mother was a very hard worker. He said she went to school and tried to do a lot with her life. Pitbull said he loves her very dearly. He said when they were in Georgia he went to a foster home. He said he lived with them for 3-6 months. He said that was it. Howard asked if it was a nightmare for him. Pitbull said it was and that was in about 1988. Howard asked if he was ostracized back then. Pitbull said he was.
Howard asked how weird it is for him to walk into a house and have people he doesn't know around him. He said it must be mind blowing. Pitbull said that's life. He said you have to learn to adapt to any environment. Pitbull said that he remembers one of the kids saying that they wanted to adopt him. He said he told his mom about that and she told him to get his shit together because she was coming to get him. He said he ended up in that basement with his mom after that.
Howard asked if he could cry to his mom or did he have to be a good little man. Pitbull said that he loves his mom to death. He said she's still around and living in Miami.
Howard asked Pitbull about his dad making him go out and perform poetry when he was a kid. Pitbull said that he did do that but he was connecting and seeing what words could do to emotions. He said he's very proud of those moments.
Howard asked when he got into a fight for the first time. Pitbull said it was in the 4th grade. He said he got in a lucky kick with that one. He said he has gotten his ass kicked though. He said you almost get used to it. Pitbull said he has his brother there with him and he's a big fan of Howard's. He said he has a brother from the street that he grew up with. He said when he went out with him he knew he was going to get into a fight. He said this guy is just his friend. He said the biological brother is the one who is a big fan of Howard's. He said that the street brother is the one who you don't mess with on the street.
Howard asked Pitbull about the women he's gotten. Pitbull said he was raised by women and he loves women. Howard said that could go the other way too though. He said he could have ended up hating women. Pitbull said he doesn't though. Howard said he must fuck like a rabbit. Pitbull said he enjoys life.
Howard asked if he'll ever marry a woman. Pitbull said he respects marriage but he doesn't think he needs that. Howard said he has had a lot of women. Pitbull said he's had some very powerful women. He said he never fucks women he records with. He said you never mix business with pleasure.
Howard asked Pitbull about his new music and Pitbull said he has this new group working with him. Howard said he has recorded with J-Lo. Howard asked if he ever fucked her. Pitbull said no way. He said she is beautiful though. Howard said she wanted to bang him. Pitbull laughed. Robin asked why she didn't get Pitbull. Pitbull said he has to hang out with Robin. Howard said he'll get him in there.
Howard said Pitbull didn't talk to his dad for years but before he died he reconciled with him. Pitbull said he was about 20 at the time and he did get to enjoy some time with him. Pitbull said he wanted love and affection from him but he was able to give it to him. He said he told his mom he hated his father when he was about 11. He said his mom told him he doesn't have any hate. He said she kept telling him that and he learned that he didn't hate him. Howard said his dad wasn't there and it might have been healthier if he was able to hate him. Pitbull said he didn't hate him though.
Pitbull said that his mom sent him to a therapist when he was about 13. He said he went there and the therapist told him he didn't need to be there when he asked if every answer was a question.
Howard said Pitbull has said that he wants to be a billion dollar brand. Pitbull said money doesn't mean anything to him. He said it just attracts the wrong things in life. He said the way he looks at it it's like a bunch of sharks in a pool of blood. He said that once you become successful people can't deal with it. He said that they don't understand what comes with money.
Howard said Pitbull has 6 kids. Pitbull said that's correct. Howard said he worries about him financially. Pitbull said he takes care of his kids and plans for their future. Howard asked when he has time to see them. Pitbull said he tells the kids that he is not Pitbull. He said he's Armando to them. He said that he spends all the time he can with them. He said it might not be as much as he can. He said he may get to spend time with them later in life. Howard asked how many moms there are. Pitbull said there are 3. Howard said that's a tremendous responsibility. Pitbull said he loves it. He said he enjoys it all.
Howard asked if he wears a rubber with women. Pitbull said of course he does. He said the kids are planned to a certain extent. Howard said he should always wear protection. Pitbull said he does.
Howard asked about working with Sean Coombs and what that's like. Pitbull said he loves the way he hustles. He said that he loves a different lifestyle than he does. He said that Sean is more flamboyant with his lifestyle. He said he likes to fly under the radar.
Howard said Pitbull has said he wants a certain success by the time he's a certain age. Pitbull said that he thinks he's already a billion dollar business. He said he has billions of views on YouTube and all of that. He said to grow he has to do all of this.
Howard said he has a deal to do TV shows with Endemol. Pitbull said they're going to do all kinds of shows. Howard said he's producing TV with Endemol. Pitbull said they're developing shows now and they should be out in 2015. He said they have a lot of things untapped around the world. He said he gets to see those things when he travels. He said he doesn't watch a lot of TV himself. He said he does like House of Cards. He said he watched Bloomberg a lot too. Howard said Endemol does a lot of game shows and things like that. Howard said Pitbull has or had endorsement deals with Kodak, Dr. Pepper, Bud Light, Fiat and he's the face of Playboy. Howard asked what that face of Playboy means. Pitbull said he's the global ambassador. Howard asked what that involves. Pitbull said that you go out and everyone is marketing toward you. He said back in the say you didn't know what song was playing on the radio. He said you had to go to a record store and ask what song that was. He said that journey was what made you a fan of the music. He said that's the way he's looking at this other stuff. Pitbull said that they're going to come out with a lot of products that you wont even know is from Playboy. Howard said he sounds like he's very busy. Howard asked when he sleeps. Pitbull said that sleep is for the dead.
Howard asked where he does his recording. Pitbull said he brings a recording studio to every hotel room he goes too. Howard asked if someone like Shakira will record in a hotel room. Pitbull said it doesn't work like that. Howard asked if Shakira is his type. Pitbull said she is along those lines. Howard asked who he is banging these days. Pitbull laughed.
Howard asked if he gets shit from his Latin fans if he doesn't bang a Latino. Pitbull said no way. He said that you can't even tell is someone is Latino these days.
Howard said he has vodka companies and he's got to be worth 20 million. Pitbull said he doesn't know what he's worth. Howard said he doesn't believe that. He said he think he knows down to the penny.
Howard asked what he invests in. Pitbull said he doesn't like the stock market. Howard asked what he should invest in. Pitbull said that there are a lot of things globally that you can invest in. Howard asked what he's putting his money in. Pitbull said he invests in himself. He said he invests in great teams to keep things moving forward. He said that leads you down the right path. He said he invests in real estate too. Pitbull said that's the way to go.
Howard asked Pitbull about his song ''I Know You Want Me'' and played some of the song. Howard asked how many it sold. Pitbull said it was about 5 million. Howard said that was his first big hit. Pitbull told Howard he worked for this company for 4 years and he had to sue them. He said they weren't allowing him to grow at the time. He said in 2009 he got his freedom. He said that was his first global record that went around the world. He said in the States his career is like Soccer in the States. He said around the world it's so much bigger than anything here in the States. He said that's the way he is around the world. Howard said making it there in the United States is big though. Pitbull said around the world it was a different kind of movement. He said it got huge in 2010-2011.
Howard played his first number 1 hit and asked where he was when he found out he was number 1. Pitbull said he has no idea. Howard asked if he took time to celebrate. Pitbull said you just keep going. Howard said Lindsay Lohan tried to sue him over that record. He had a line about her in the song. Pitbull said that he was just saying that he had it locked up like she does and he's not sure why she was upset with it. He said he laughed about it when he heard about the case. He said they annihilated her case.
Howard played a song Pitbull did with Shakira. He asked about how they recorded that since they weren't in the studio together. Howard asked if there's more of a magic that happens in the studio. Pitbull said not these days. He said you can do it in different parts of the world no problem.
Howard said a lot of artists put out a record and they don't work the record. Pitbull said that's what you have to do. He said he has gone out and worked it all over. He said that's what you do to make it a hit. Howard said Pitbull is saying that you can't take that stuff for granted. Howard said it's a really weird business. Howard said it either happens or it doesn't. Pitbull said he has the world showing him what they want.
Howard played some of Pitbull's song ''Timber'' which was a hit in 66 countries. Pitbull told Howard about this guy Dr. Luke who got his hands on it and took it to another level. He said that he was on tour in Europe when he heard about this whole thing with Avici. He said he's willing to listen to what people have to say as long as it's not the label. He said he has a great team there at the label but they let them do their own thing.
Howard asked Pitbull about the song ''Don't Stop the Party'' and they banned the video in London because of how raunchy it was. Howard asked what he does in the video. Pitbull said they really show nothing what it's like to be at a regatta in Miami. Pitbull said that he wanted people to see what goes on down there.
Howard said he's having some life. He said he has a new single out called ''Wild, Wild Love.'' Howard played some of that. Pitbull said he's doing Jimmy Fallon's show tonight.
Howard asked if he was nervous hosting the American Music Awards. Pitbull said he was. He said he learned a lot from doing that. He said that he didn't want to read from the teleprompter so much. He said that wouldn't be real. He said he wanted to do a lot of things there but they didn't want him to do it. He said he thinks that they'd give him more leverage in the future. He said that the ratings went through the roof for that show and he thinks that they'll be able to do more in the future. He said he learned a lot from that show. He said that he could have run off with Taylor Swift's award as a joke.
Howard asked why Marc Anthony and J-Lo split. Pitbull said he has no idea. Howard said Marc is banging an even hotter chick now. Pitbull laughed.
Howard asked Pitbull about recording with Ke$ha and what went on with her when she went into the hospital. Pitbull said he has no idea. He told Howard about recording down in the Bahamas. Howard asked if he flies private now. Pitbull said he does. He said he flies on a G4. He said he rents it. Howard asked what he does when he gets down there. Pitbull said they charter a boat and they jump from island to island. He said he records on the boat. Howard said that's some party he's having.
Howard asked if there is nothing more intoxicating than flying a chick around and doing a recording session on a boat. Howard said he's a young, virile guy. Pitbull said that the way to do that is not fuck them. He said that really messes with them. Howard asked how long you can wait. Pitbull said it's like chess. Howard said it really is a game. Pitbull said life is a game. Howard said they should write a song. Pitbull said that you fuck 'em when you don't fuck 'em. Howard said he isn't fucking millions of women right now.
Howard asked Pitbull about getting the chicks on the boat and then what goes on. Pitbull said he is observant and he thinks it's the fun of the chess match. Howard asked if he jerks off so he doesn't finish fast in bed. Pitbull said he doesn't have to do that. He said he does watch porn and jerk off at times. He said he likes YouPorn. He said he likes the Brazilian porn. Howard said he likes the fake agents porn.
Howard asked if he is afraid that he's going to explode too fast with a girl. Pitbull said he doesn't worry about that. Howard said he explodes in seconds. Robin said that Pitbull has an assembly line of women. Howard asked if that's what he's saying. Pitbull said he loves Howard but he's not saying that. Howard said he'll let him off the hook then.
Howard asked if Pitbull believes there's a heaven. Pitbull said you have to live your life because that's what it is, your life. He said he odes believe in god and respects all religions. He said he sings about how he's involved with something bigger and Howard wondered if that was the Illuminati. Pitbull said he doesn't want to get into that.
Howard asked about the prediction of the plane going missing in one of his songs. Pitbull said that he didn't predict that. He did sing a line about going to Malaysia and having 2 passports and some other things. He said that wasn't about that though.
Howard asked if he has ever been to jail. Pitbull said he was in jail for having a weapon on school grounds. He said he had a roll of pennies with him and they said that was a weapon. He said that he was in for a DUI and for drugs. Howard said he loves that he can't even remember why he was in jail. Pitbull said the county jail is known for being a very interesting thing. He said you go into the jail and it's not so bad. He said that it's the guy who doesn't listen to the house guy who gets in trouble. He said the house man is the guy in charge of the cell. Howard asked if he ever had anyone try to fuck him in the ass. Pitbull said he wasn't in there long enough to have that happen. He said he has friends who have had to deal with that.
Pitbull told Howard to come down to Miami and party with him. He said they're going to have a party on a boat. Howard asked if he owns a Yacht. Pitbull said earlier that if it flies, floats or fucks you rent it.
Howard gave Pitbull some plugs and said you can check him out at PitbullMusic.com. Pitbull said he has a cologne out for women and men too. Pitbull thanked him for having him in. He said that he has seen Howard's career and how he told everyone to fuck off. He thanked his fans too. Howard said it sounds like he just gave his Academy Award speech. They wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Amy Schumer is there and this might be the last time she's there because she's getting so famous. Howard said her Comedy Central show ''Inside Amy Schumer'' is coming back. Howard said that her firs show debuted to like 1.6 million people. Howard said that with reruns over 3 million saw it. Howard said that's the biggest debut for a show on Comedy Central. Amy said she was totally surprised. She said she still has no idea what happened. Howard said that's a big deal. Howard asked if she was flabbergasted. Amy said she was home reading the comments on Twitter. She said she thinks it has a lot to do with Howard.
Howard asked if she they kissed her ass. Amy said not at all. She said they were surprised too. Howard asked if she was superstitious and worried that it could all go away. Amy said that they told her that week 2 is what matters. She said then they told her that it held for week 2 and then they told her that week 3 is what counts. Howard said all shows have a drop off after a week. Amy said they know she's naive. Howard said they don't want her to get too big headed either. He said they don't want her asking for more money. Amy said she gets her hair done in a soup kitchen. She said she wishes she was joking about that. Howard said they grab a cheap space and that's where they do that stuff.
Amy said comedy Central pays her like she works at an upscale nail salon. She said she's being paid the same this season as she was last. Amy said they could pay her more but they'd have to take away from the production. Howard asked if she was surprised that they hired her for a second season. She said she wasn't. She said they've been cool to her.
Howard asked if she's surprised that Dave Chappelle ran off from doing his show. Amy said she's not. Howard asked why not. Amy said there's so much pressure from the show and you want to have control. She said it's easy to feel that your life is getting away from you. Amy said you have to look at everything and it's every little thing that you're doing in the show. She said that they have to watch what people are wearing and everything like that.
Howard asked Amy if she's seeing a lot of jealousy from her comedian friends. She said she's not so much because she puts them in the show. She said that some people will ask to be on her show and she'll tell them the truth that they haven't come up in her thoughts at all. Howard said that's a good trait to have. Amy said that she has no control over what people feel about her so she's just going to use the best people.
Howard asked if she has a lot of celebrity friends. Howard said she's got the second season of the show running and she's got Paul Giamatti, Artie Lange, Colin Quinn and others starring this season. Howard said Judd Apatow heard her on this show and he wants to work with her. Howard said he should have said they should make a movie. Amy said she would have said that they were acting like they were better friends than they are. Howard said Judd asked her to meet with him and he's smart that way. Howard said he did that with Lena Dunham too. Howard said now he has a hit with ''Girls.'' Howard asked if she got flown out to Los Angeles. She said she's never been flown out there. She did have a meeting with him. She said they talked about a lot of stuff and they got along. She said that he was sound mixing for ''This is 40'' and she pulled up and felt like she was visiting a life she'd never get to see. Amy said Judd told her that if she had any ideas for movie to let him know. She said she had an idea and he liked it. Amy said she wrote it and sent it to him and he said it was okay.
Howard asked how long it took to write the script. Amy said it was 10 days. Howard asked if she knew how to write a full length movie. Amy said she bought a book about screen writing and she thought about reading it but never did. Howard said there is a certain format to have the pacing and all of that. Amy said that Judd really encouraged her along. She said that they worked on scenes and beat it out.
Amy was talking about Pitbull when he was talking about not fucking girls on his boat. She said that's what girls really want. Howard asked Amy if she's fucking a lot of guys. He said that she has a lot of one night stands. Amy said she has only had one of those. She said she was on a plane when she met this guy. Amy said he was in the military. She said he was really hot. Amy said that he was in front of her on line and then on the plane. She said that he was a military guy but from England. Howard asked if he approached him on the plane. Amy said she didn't. She said she couldn't tell if he had a good body or not. She said that she saw him go through security and he ended up sitting next to her on the plane. Amy said that he had no idea who she was. She had never had a one night stand before though. She said that she had a chemical reaction with this guy. She said that he was really boring though. She said he was kind of a dummy but he was good looking. She said he wasn't that beautiful. She said he was just kind of hot. She said he did it for her. Amy said he looked a little like Shrek.
Amy said she was grabbing the guy's arm even though there was no turbulence. She said she had no make up on or anything like that. She said she told him that she had a show in town and she thinks he thought she was a musician. Howard asked if he knew she was coming on to him. Amy said it was her idea and he went along with it. She said that he was reserved and acting what Pitbull might act like. She said that she found out he was staying in a hotel near where she was staying. Howard asked if she thought about doing it on the plane. Amy said no. She said she has an ass on her and that wouldn't work.
Howard asked how they got in touch. Amy said she gave him her email. She said that she was joking with him and he was getting the jokes and playing along. She said that they ended up getting drinks and they had a one night stand.
Howard asked about him coming to the hotel. She said they met at a bar. Howard asked if she got wasted. She said no. She said she had a beer. Howard asked if she was grabbing his cock. She said that she may have done some research for figure out how big he was. She said that she wanted to make sure he didn't have a vagina. Howard asked if he was married or anything. She said she would have cared if he was.
Howard asked if they went to her room. She said they did. Howard asked if he de-pants her. She said she probably de-pants herself. Howard asked if he had a big penis. She said it was good. She said that they did some things before he entered her. She said there's this thing called a clitoris that they dealt with first. She said they did it with the lights on. Amy said she lucked out. She said he was great. Howard asked how many times they did it. Amy said that they did it and he stayed and they probably had sex 3 times. She said she had to get some sleep and she asked him to leave. She said he couldn't believe she was throwing him out.
Howard asked if he knew what was going on there. Amy said she thinks he did. She said that he was going back to England so he knew what was going on. She said that she kind of needed it. She said that she hadn't had sex in a while. She said she felt beautiful and it was a good experience for her.
Howard asked if she would blow the guy or not. She said that she's just lazy so she doesn't do that. Howard said that's fair enough. Howard said some things have to be saved for her husband. Howard asked if he went down on her. Amy said he did. Howard said he thought she had to reciprocate. Amy said she didn't though. Howard asked if they stayed in touch. She said that they did have some texts.
Howard asked if it was a quickie. She said he was good and it lasted a while. She said he was a good lover. She said he was like an animal. She said it was just nice. She said that's why she doesn't want to have another one night stand. She said it may never be like that again. Howard asked when she last heard from him. She said that he let her know when he was going to be back in town the week after. She said they stay in touch and she's not sure she'd want to do that again. She said it was just too good and it won't be a one night stand if she saw him again.
Howard asked Amy more about the Judd Apatow thing. Howard asked about the script she wrote. Amy said that he kind of let that one go away but they met again and they had an idea for another movie. Amy said she told Judd about how she's 32 and her behavior is getting in her way. She said that things aren't really cute anymore. Amy said she wrote probably 180 pages that aren't in the script to get to watch the script is now. She said that they came up with a bunch of ideas and she spent a couple of months writing this one. Howard said he liked it so much that he wants to direct it even though he doesn't do that. Amy said he wanted to produce it and Universal was going to buy the rights to the script. Then he called her and said he wanted to direct it. Amy said he called and said he was throwing his hat in the ring to direct it.
Howard asked if they're in production now. Amy said that they are in pre-production for the film now and they've got people cast already. Colin Quinn is one. Amy said she is sick of him too but he's in it. She said Bill Hader is lined up to do it too. Amy said they have Vanessa Bayer and a bunch of other people. She said they have John Cena lined up too. She said they start shooting in May in New York. Howard said she's going to be huge if this movie is a hit. Howard said it would really suck if it tanks. Amy said she doesn't worry about that. She said she's going to do the best job she can and see how it goes. Amy said the movie is called ''Train Wreck.''
Amy said this is all due to Howard. She said that it all started there. Amy asked Howard how he doesn't feel like he can't change someone's life. Howard said he never feels that. Howard said he doesn't have that kind of mechanism. Howard said Richard Belzer was on the show years ago and the director Barry Levinson heard Belzer on the show and they cast him as Detective Munch. Howard said he has a million stories like that and he never thinks about it.
Howard said things are getting so big for Amy that she went to the Vanity Fair party. Howard asked how she got in there. Amy said there were people who were confused why she was there. Amy said that she was invited by Vanity Fair. She said Howard has to have been there. Howard said he has never been invited. Amy said she had to see what was going on there. She said that she figured they were going to have her working that night or something. Amy said she tried to bring it that night. She said she had her tits out and all of that. Amy said getting ready for something like that is so embarrassing. She said she was thinking that she was very pretty and she just didn't have the right look. She said she and her sister went to the party and they were like pumpkins at the big party. She said they had all of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models there. She said that she realized where she stands when it comes to that. She said that she doesn't want to go back to L.A. after all of that.
Howard said Amy is getting big with the Judd Apatow thing and all of that and then she goes to this party and she's like nothing. Howard asked who she saw there. Amy said they were standing with Seth Rogen and his wife. She said a bunch of people were walking by like Don Rickles. She said that's who she ran up to. Amy said she wanted to talk to the funny people there. She said she saw Larry David there and it was fun to see him again. She said she was on an episode of Curb so she knew him from that. Amy said they had a really great conversation.
Howard asked if she drank a lot at the Vanity Fair party. She said she did. Amy said everyone was getting drunk and high.
Howard asked Amy if she has had a boyfriend since Jeselnik. She said she hasn't really. Howard asked if guys hit on her a lot. Amy said no. She said guys are confused by what part of her is an act and what's not. She said that guys get confused. She said she wants to be strong too and that can be intimidating.
Howard asked what happened after the party. Amy said they went out to dinner and had some pie and stuff. She said she loves hanging out with her sister. Howard asked if she feels she has to lose some weight for the movie. Amy said she just wants to be herself.
Howard said he saw Amy on ''Girls'' very briefly. Howard said he heard that she had auditioned for a role on the show. Amy said she did audition for the character Shoshana. She said she loves Lena Dunham. Howard said it's amazing that she parades around in a bikini. Amy said that she's so grateful for her being alive and doing that. Howard asked if she auditioned for Lena. Amy said she did for her and Jenny. She said it's hard to audition and be rejected. Howard said he auditioned for Dice's ''Ford Fairlane'' movie. Howard said the director was an asshole. He said that was Renny Harlin. Howard said he didn't even say hello to him. Howard said he knew he was 50 times the talent that Renny was so he would never put himself in that situation ever again.
Howard said he thinks that Amy has so many big things happening that she could be off the road. Amy said she's not sure about that. She said she's been doing a theater tour and it's been so great. She said the fans are so good to her.
Howard asked Amy why she called her tour the Back door tour. She said that was a play on anal sex but she's never had anal. Howard asked if she ever wants to do that. Amy said she's going to save that for when her marriage is in trouble. She said she'll pull that out and get another two years.
Howard gave Amy some plugs for her show ''Inside Amy Schumer'' which is on tonight on Comedy Central. Howard asked how she's going to celebrate. Amy said she's going to watch it with her dad and sister. Howard said this is the second season of her show. Howard said you should check it out. Howard told her to say hi to her dad and sister. Howard asked what's up with her mom. Amy said they're divorced but they're both okay. She said her dad isn't feeling so well so she's going to go see him and watch the show with him. Howard said he hopes her dad feels better. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he wants to thank the listener who came to the rescue of Gilbert the dog. Howard said it's Jason and Robin Lynn. Howard said they came to the rescue of that beautiful dog.
Howard said Benjy looks great today so happy April Fools. Howard said he actually has a full 11 inch penis. He said he hates April Fools. Howard said it's so easy to just lie and say something and then just say April fools. Howard said today is Richard Christy's birthday. Howard said Sal has been walking around nude all morning for Richard. He said that's his gift for him.
Howard said he was thinking about Richard wanting him to chloroform him. He said that they never got to the bottom of that yesterday. He said he got as far as removing his clothes and dragging him around after chloroforming him. Howard said that's Richard's fantasy. Howard said they got into how bizarre that is. Howard said he's 40 years old today and maybe it's time for him to grow up.
Howard said someone wrote in and said that the name of their band should be Robin's Dainty Vagina or RDV. Robin said she was thinking of a name which would be Cunt Lips. Howard said he wouldn't do that. He said that's offensive. Robin was laughing at the name. She said she loves that name.
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. Fred played her in with a song parody. Howard said he was thinking about Michel Jackson. He said he read online that he couldn't play an instrument. Robin said he couldn't read music either. Howard said he had to convey to people what the song was and he would do them a cappella. Howard said he would hum the parts of the song for the musicians to play. Robin said you see that in the movie they did about him that came out after he died. Howard said he has tape of Michael doing that stuff for Beat It. Howard played the clip of Jackson giving the parts of the songs to the guys in the band. He was doing the parts of the song as if he were the instruments and the singer.
Howard said that was a throwaway track. Howard said that's something. He said you hear that voice of his and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with him and then he breaks into the song and you realize he has a gift. Robin said it's all there including the demented genius that he was. Howard said imagine that Steve Jobs talked like that.
Robin started her news and read a story about a guy who was accepted to all 8 of the Ivy League colleges. Robin said that Harvard accepts less than 6 percent of all applicants. Robin said this kid is 17 and he wants to study medicine. Howard said that's like being Superman to him. He said that he can see the world in a way other people can't. He said he's so envious of that kind of intelligence. Howard said so many of these guys are such nitwits when it comes to life. Howard said he hopes this kid has it all together. Howard said it's great and he hopes he has some kind of break through with science.
Robin said 60 Minutes had a story about Elon Musk and he gives hope that there might be someone like Steve Jobs out there. Robin said he sold his first business at 12. Howard said at that age he was trying to figure out how to get a bra off. Robin said he also founded PayPal. Robin said he went on to develop the Tesla electric car and now a rocket company. Robin said his brother was describing him and saying that he has to do things that are hard to figure out or he loses interest.
Howard took a call from Balls who asked what kind of embarrassing things he's had happen during sex. Howard said finishing too soon is embarrassing. Howard said he isn't premature but there have been a couple where he finished as soon as he got in. He said with some women he can hold out for and some he can't. He said sex is confusing to him. Howard said that's the most embarrassing thing, cumming fast. Howard said you feel like the girl is laughing at you but it's really a compliment. Howard said those are the hottest chicks. Howard said there was a time when he tried to have sex in the water and that was kind of embarrassing. He said he was shaking in the water and it was kind of crazy. He said he was so excited he was shaking. He said those are the kinds of things that were embarrassing. The caller said he had his cock come out of his wife and slap into a drawer and it turned purple for a few weeks. Howard said it's nice he has a dick that big that it can slap into something.
Robin read a story about Adam Sandler keeping his kids entertained by having an ice skating rink build for them. Howard said there's nothing wrong with that. Robin said that they were talking to Anderson Cooper about how privilege can ruin a child. Howard said he doesn't know about that. Howard said he knows Leon Black and he's one of the wealthiest guys he knows. He said that his kids are so with it and so together. He said that they are motivated to work and all of that. Robin said maybe that's due to their father. Howard said some of these kids come out fine.
Robin read a story about a woman who went to the Dominican Republic for plastic surgery and died on the operating table. Howard said you don't go there for a tummy tuck. You get what you pay for over there. Robin said people die here too. Howard said you have to hedge your bet and do it here.
Robin read a story about how a kill switch on a cell phone could save the country billions. Robin said that they're looking to push carriers to make that a standard feature on phones. Robin said it could save billions per year in stolen phones.
Robin read a story about how the CIA has misled the public about enhanced interrogation techniques. Robin said they say that the CIA has hidden how severe the techniques were and who they interrogated. Howard said he likes this. Robin explained to Howard what she was talking about and Howard said he likes that. He said you find out if the guy was for real or not.
Robin read a story about John Kerry heading back to Europe to talk about keeping peace with the Palestinians. Howard said that's not going to happen. Robin said we should give up on that whole thing. She said it's never going to happen. Howard did a live commercial and then went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:40am, we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman telling her that her husband's prescription for Viagra was ready. Howard came back and did another live commercial read.
Robin got back to her news and asked Howard if he knows the name Hobie. Howard said that's Hobie Wan Kenobi. Robin said that's not it. Robin said this is the inventor of the Hobie Cat. Robin said they called him the Henry Ford of the surf world. Robin said he was 80 years old and passed away. Robin said he was the one who started mass manufacturing surf boards. Robin said he was making them himself and he found ways to make them lighter and faster. Robin said he did everything. Howard said he can't imagine that many people surf. Robin said there are a lot of people who do. Howard said he should invent something that he can use in something he likes doing. He said he likes jerking off and maybe he could come up with a tissue to jerk off into. Howard told Gary to write him a note to get into that today. Howard said he read that the part of Hobie on Baywatch was lost by Leonardo DiCaprio. Howard said that part went to someone else. Benjy said that's Jeremy Jackson. Fred said Hobie was sold to the Coleman company in 1976. It didn't say how much they sold it for.
Howard asked Fred if he would use the jerk off tissue. Fred said he would use something like that. Fred said it would be Shittens but for jerking off. Howard said he just through of it. He said it would be a tissue with dirty photos already on them. Howard said maybe they'd be raunchy photos. Fred suggested a woman's private parts. Howard said that's what he's saying. He said they could have them for men with a big, fat ass on them. Howard said he's thinking that the tissues would glow in the dark so guys can jerk off in the dark. He said you can put them in your underwear too so you can drip in there. Fred said maybe they'd have a mini-pad for that. Howard said Fred is thinking. Howard said the tissues would be good for your ass sweat too.
Robin read a story about the first season for Obama care is over. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that.
Howard said maybe they could have a roll of masturbation tissues but on a roll like paper towels and in the roll is a fake vagina. Howard said the towels would have dirty pictures on them. Robin said that's like one of those Fleshlights.
Robin read a story about the problems GM is having with a recall on ignition switches and how they've gone 14 years without revealing their problem. Robin said they have another recall for power steering. Robin said that just started and it's for 1.6 million cars. Robin said no deaths have been reported with that problem.
Robin asked if we're going back to the cold war. Howard said he hates the cold. Robin said they're doing some military exercises in Crimea near Ukraine.
Robin said that Elton John is going to marry later this spring in Britain. Robin said that they had a civil ceremony 8 years ago but marriage is now legal there so they're going to have a wedding but keep it small. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Lindsay Lohan and how she's blaming her management for not being a bigger star. Robin said she thinks that they're not fighting for bigger roles for her. Howard said ''Oh c'mon.'' Robin said Lindsay was on the Ellen show and she was claiming that her song ''Over'' was about her break up with Wilmer Valderama. Robin played a clip of the song.
Howard said there is a condition where this woman thought she was having quintuplets and later found out that she wasn't pregnant at all. Howard said there's a name for it but he wasn't able to pronounce it. Howard said she had a swollen belly and she was lactating. Howard said he's going to have Jason checked out by a doctor. He said he's seen his belly get bigger and lactate. Howard said the brain deludes itself into thinking it's pregnant. Howard said that's amazing. Robin said Howard could make himself have symptoms. Howard said he has never lactated though. Robin said maybe he could.
Howard said he read Perez Hilton's comments about Kendall Jenner taking a nap in a bikini. Howard said he was going to look and then he thought about how she was on ''vacation.'' Howard said their whole life seems to be a vacation. Howard said he was getting worked up over that but it's really nothing.
Robin read more about the Lindsay Lohan story and thought she had some audio of her but Howard didn't see it there. Robin said Lindsay was talking about Oprah in the clip. That led to Howard reading a story about Oprah going on a 8 city tour where she'll be packing arenas and doing keynote speeches for the people. Robin said this is the Billy Graham model. Robin said she's going to tell them inspirational things. Howard read some of the details about that tour. Howard goofed on Oprah talking about how she will probably bring in Maya Angelou. Howard did his impression of what that might sound like.
Howard mentioned a story he read about a woman who got surgery to look like Jennifer Lawrence.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he can work with that creep Benjy. He said he saw a picture of Benjy staring at Maria Menounos' ass. Howard said that couldn't be helped. He said Benjy is in a lot of pictures in there and he's not even trying to be in them. Benjy said he likes staring at his girlfriend Elisa's ass.
Robin read a story about some new Michael Jackson music that's going to be released. Robin said they are putting a new album out in May. Howard said that disturbs him. He said the reason they bury them in a vault is because the artist didn't want people to hear it. He said it's unreleased for a reason.
Robin read about Scarlett Johansson being in the movie ''Under the Skin'' and the new Captain America movie. Robin had a clip from that ''Under the Skin'' movie. Robin read about the movie and what kind of character she plays in it. Howard said it sounds like that movie ''Species'' to him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked if Howard will play guitar on Jimmy Fallon's show when he goes on next. Howard said they asked him to go to Orlando with them but he can't do that. Howard said he'll get on there at some point. Mariann said he has to bring his guitar.
Mariann said that Sam Simon tweeted out that they can't whale in Japan anymore. She also said that George Takei is going to be hosting Saturday Night Live. Howard cut her off and hung up when Mariann started to yell. JD came in and said that the George Takei thing might be a hoax. Howard said they were going to do a hoax this year but he looked at everything they had to do and asked ''Who gives a fuck?'' and decided not to do it.
Robin had some audio of Nick Cannon talking about the white face thing he did. Nick was on with David Letterman talking about that. Robin said that the name of the album is White People Party Music. Robin said he explained that to Dave too. Howard said he wants Nick to come in dressed in white face. Howard asked if he's coming. Gary said he is. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
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Gary and Jon also talked about the Pat Robertson clips that Howard played and how that channel is always going to be the Family channel. They talked about how Robertson must have made a deal to keep his show on that channel too.
Jon and Gary spent a little time talking about the baseball season opening games that were going on yesterday. Gary mentioned that Howard brought up how much TV he watches. Jon said he does watch a lot of sports too so that takes up some of his viewing time. Gary said there are a lot of other things that you get into if you watch sports. Gary said there's a lot of that stuff that he's watching that Howard wouldn't watch.
Jon said Howard was also talking about how the New York teams can't win and how people say that they bought the team if they do win. Gary said he was trying to explain to Howard about the Mets not winning since 1986. He said they have been to the playoffs 7 or 8 times in the last 50 years. He said he'd bet that the Padres would kill to have those numbers. He said that the Cubs haven't gotten to the World Series either. Gary said he understands why Howard is wondering why they can't be better. He said they have the money but it's not just the money.
Jon asked Gary if he struggles to talk sports to Howard. Gary said no. He said that Howard doesn't care about it but when he cares on any level he's excited.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Pitbull. He said that he and Howard seemed to hit it off. He said he didn't know that Pitbull was so planned out. Gary said he's figured out a way to monetize everything but not in a whorish way. Jon said he was talking about his songs and working with Dr. Luke. He said that he has teams together to help with his songs and he's doing well. Gary said that if he had a team that he worked with he'd stay with them until it didn't work anymore.
Jon said he thinks that the punch Pitbull threw on stage blew Howard away. He said he didn't miss a beat of the song as he was laying the guy out. Gary said they were talking about how Pitbull's mom was a topless dancer and all of that. Jon said they were also talking about Uncle Luke from 2 Live Crew and how it sounds like they were having a good time on the road. Gary said that was probably in the early 90s and he remembers getting video tapes from those shows and it was insane. He said what was going on there at those shows was indecent. He said people were having sex on stage.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they can't prank Howard at all. Gary said that Howard has made it clear that he doesn't want to be pranked. The caller asked why that is. Jon said he's made it very clear that he doesn't want to be pranked. He said Howie Mandel pranks people all the time and Howard has told him he'll punch him in the face if he does anything to him. Gary said you know that someone is going to get you back if you do pull a prank. Gary said Stuttering John used to do pranks but Howard always made it clear not to do it to him.
Jon took another call from a guy who said Howard does incredible interviews but he seems to think that he was asking him about dating his daughter. He said that he wouldn't be happy if he was dating his daughter. Gary asked why not. The guy said that Howard was telling him that he should wear a rubber and all of that. He said that he doesn't think he'd be cool with a guy who is banging chicks all over the country and then his daughter. Jon said it sounds like he takes care of his kids and the women he's with. He said that the women aren't being forced to date him. He said they might know what they're getting into when they go out with him. He said that's the choice his daughter would have to make.
Gary said Pitbull was also talking about how he doesn't fuck girls to get them even more interested. Jon said he had a lot of sayings in that interview about things like that. They went over some of those comments. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon took a call from a woman who said that she saw him on New Years Eve and she finds him very interesting. She said she went out and bought his album. She thought he was very interesting and a great guest. Jon said his music is infectious and you can't help but dance to it. The caller said that his story was very interesting.
Jon said that Pitbull was talking about how throwing money at someone is an insult. Gary said he didn't know that it was. He said he thought that making it rain was something you did with strippers. Steve said the guy doesn't need you throwing money at you. Jon asked if it's an insult because it's like you need the money or something. Gary said he doesn't know what it means. Steve said he did say that it was a Miami thing too. Jon asked if Howard will be heading down to Miami to party with Pitbull. Gary said he's not sure about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wants to know why Howard can't accept the fact that people can be raised without a father and not be pissed off. He said he wants to know what's up with that. Gary said Howard is into therapy and everything means something. He said if you say you're over it then you may not be over it. Gary said anyone who had their father walk out on them has a traumatic event. He said you may be able to work around it but he doesn't think you ever get over it. Jon said Howard was kind of telling him that he should hate his father but Pitbull said he adjusted to it so he was fine with it.
The caller said when you become a parent you just make sure you don't make the same mistake. He said that some folks don't agree with what Howard thinks. He said he thinks he should let that go a little bit. Gary said that there was something there with George Lopez. He said when someone does say they don't want to talk about it then he thinks there is something there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he's not sure if Pitbull is a musician or just a marketer. He said that he's not really making music. He's about pushing the record and the other people on his ''team'' are the ones doing the work. He asked if they think he's a musician. Gary asked why he can't be both. Jon said he does market himself very well but he has to recognize what a good song is and make that song. He said that's him performing live in concert. He said he is a musician but maybe not in the traditional sense.
Jon asked Ronnie if he's into that music. Ronnie said he likes it in the clubs. He said they play it a lot in the clubs. Steve asked Ronnie if he knew that throwing money at people was wrong in Miami. Ronnie said he didn't know anything about that. Ronnie said it might hurt if they're throwing coins at you. He said they might be doing that because they think you suck. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Jon asked Ronnie if people know the real you. Ronnie asked why he thinks he's not really who he is. Jon said he's asking. Ronnie said he's basically the same person he is on the air. He said that normally he is that way. He said he doesn't let someone shit on him. He said he has feelings too. He said he had feelings when he lost his dog and when he lost his mom.
Ronnie said he has been with his girlfriend for 7 years now. Gary said he won't go to her high school reunion. Ronnie said he doesn't want to go to Ohio. Ronnie said they already had a reunion. He said she'd rather just be with him than go. Ronnie said he does things with her that he doesn't want to do. He said he does them because she likes to do them.
Steve said that Ronnie went to Broadway recently. Ronnie said he saw Cinderella and he thought it was cool. He said the way they switch the sets is cool. He said that Stephanie has been into Cinderella since she was a kid. Gary said he figured that was for kids. Ronnie said there were more adults there than there were kids. He said the show was good. He said that it kept your interest and it was really well done.
Jon asked if Ronnie likes going to Broadway. Ronnie said it depends on what it is. He said they saw Legally Blonde. Jon asked if he enjoyed that. Ronnie said he did. He said he got to look up the girl's dresses from the front row so it was cool. He said it wasn't his idea to go. He said he's seen Jersey Boys like 3 times and he loves that. Gary said he won't go see Rocky. He said he just doesn't think that would work on Broadway.
Ronnie said Stephanie likes to go with him to races and stuff. He said she may not be that into it though. Gary said it seems like a very long day going to those races. Ronnie said it's not just the races. He said you go early and he hangs out with Tony Stewart and Kevin Harvick. He said he does stuff he likes hanging out with them. Ronnie said She's totally into animals and so is he.
Ronnie said Stephanie has a wish list at Steven Singer Jewelers. He said he'll call them up and ask what she has on the list. He said he just has it overnighted to him and he never has to go. Jon asked about a ring. Ronnie said she has a ring she likes that's like a square. He said she saw it on there the other day and told him it was really nice. Ronnie said he just said ''Oh, that's good.''
Gary said that if he gets the ring he could squeeze another 7 years out of her. Ronnie said they never get into heavy conversations about getting married. Gary said they're just about married already. Ronnie said he has his freedom. He said that they do what they want to do. He said it would kind of stop if they got married. Gary said he lives with her already. Gary asked why that would change. Ronnie said it's just different. He said it doesn't make sense to get married anymore. Jon said he's just about married already. He said it's just without the ring and all of that. Ronnie said that's what makes it good.
Ronnie said Stephanie took a lot of shit from the beginning. He said he credits her for sticking around. He said that she took a lot of blame for things she wasn't responsible for.
Jon wished Richard Christy a happy 40th. Richard said he isn't one for big celebrations or parties. He said he's pretty low key. Ronnie said Stephanie turned 30 last year and she treated it like she was getting married. He said he had a lot of fun with that party.
Jon said someone got upset about Howard not getting pranked today and he told the guy to ask Richard Christy about that. Richard knows first hand that it's not a good idea. Richard said that Ronnie pranked Howard once. Gary said he did it once and just once. Gary said Howard thought it was funny too. He said they gave Robin all of the answers for the Homeless game and Robin got them all right. He said Howard was down by like $600 at one point when they were betting. He said Howard was okay with that.
Ronnie said he thought what they did to Langford was so funny. He said they sent him in the studio making him think that Howard had called him in. He just interrupted the whole show.
Richard said the Howard TV crew got Scott the Engineer to go in an mess with Howard's buttons. That really pissed Howard off.
Jon asked Ronnie if Howie Mandel knows better than to prank Howard. Ronnie said last year Howie was laying down pretending to be asleep and someone told him that he was going to jump up and scare Howard. Ronnie said it never happened but he did tell someone they had to stop it. He said they were ready to tackle him if he had done it. He said that if he had done it they would have tackled him. Ronnie said if they let it happen then it would have made them look like shit.
Jon asked Lisa G what she had coming up in the Howard 100 News. Lisa ran down some stories that they have coming up today. The guys got in some plugs and Richard mentioned that he played a prank on his wife this morning saying that his guinea pig got out but that didn't work out so well. They ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:05am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he officially hates April Fools more than Halloween. He said it's so annoying. Howard said if someone had something witty that they did he'd be okay. He said there was a woman in South Carolina that texted a friend that there was a school shooting and that led to the SWAT team being called. He said there is no wit to it. Howard said he hates April fools. He said he's glad they didn't do a prank this year. He said in the past he hopes they had some wit to them. He said this year they had an idea that was pretty good but he scrapped it because he hates the day so much. He said he may do it another day instead.
Howard said Howie Mandel and Nick Cannon are coming in today. He said they just happen to be in town at the same time for AGT. He said that they're doing some tapings this week at Madison Square Garden. He said he's not sure how many tickets are left for that.
Robin asked if it's a full day on Sunday. Howard said he's working until 6 and he's doing that under protest. He said he'd like to have a bit of a weekend but he wont this week. He said it's going to be a long couple of days.
Howard said tomorrow is a long day of taping. He said they piled on something silly. He said they want him in an hour early to pick up Howie in a limo. Howard said he doesn't want to be the dick so he's playing along. Howard said he's going to be there all day and he knows they won't use it. He said it's going to be dumb, dumb, dumb and you won't see it on TV.
Howard said what's good is when people come out and audition. He said he gets off on that. Howard said it's exciting when people walk out. He said they have the show in the can already as far as he's concerned. He said there are a couple of people he told to audition and they didn't even get in. He said these people are really good and they didn't get in. Howard said he was shocked when he found out.
Howard said he told them that he's wiped out after doing his radio show Monday through Wednesday. He said they wanted him to work a Wednesday in the future but he told them he can't do that. Howard said he doesn't want to be a dick but he agrees to it and then the day comes around and he's dreading it. Howard said picking up Howie in the car is going to make him mental. He said now they have to start at 9 in the morning instead of 11. He said they have to set up the shots and all of that so the day is going to drag on. He said he knows they won't use it either. He said he knows the show.
Howard said poor Howie works his ass off in these situations. He said he's a chatter box. Howard said he just sits there while Howie is chatting. Howard said last time they did one of these they wanted him in a car and Heidi was driving while Howie was in the front seat. He said they pick up Nick and he gets in the back. He said he tried to talk but Howie was yelling at Heidi about her driving. He said Howie was trying to make it something but she was driving fine. Howard said he didn't want to pretend she wasn't. He said Howie doesn't want anyone else involved because he's working his magic.
Howard said he has to talk to Howie about the photo shoot they did. He said that Howie doesn't like it when he gets attention. He said the photographer was paying attention to him for like 5 minutes and Howie started to mumble under his breath about how they weren't paying attention to him. Howard said he was trying to hear what the photographer was saying and this is so passive aggressive. Howard said he was going to strangle him or something. He said it was just 5 minutes the guy was paying attention to him. He wanted to tell Howie to calm down.
Howard said he likes Howie so he didn't say anything to him. He did want to tell them to pay more attention to Howie though. He said that he doesn't want the attention but Howie does. Howard said Howie will probably deny it. He said that's exactly what was going on though. Howard said he picks up on a lot of this stuff since he's in therapy. He said it's passive aggressive behavior. Howard said he's just trying to get through the day.
Robin said it's like a kid who starts crying when someone else gets attention. Howard said that's exactly what it is. He said Howie gets plenty of attention and he's great on AGT. He said he's happy that Howie gets the attention. He said it helps him out. He said he doesn't like doing the driving around in a car thing so Howie takes over there. Howard said he just wants to judge over there. Howard said it seems like they're giving them busy work to get their money's worth out of them.
Robin said he knows driving over the George Washington Bridge isn't going to make it into the show. Howard said he knows if he goes to Jason Raff and tells him about it and he has no idea they're doing that. Howard said they have two crews who do the AGT thing. He said they have one for bits and one for the talent part of the show. Howard said he thinks the show is a great show. He said they have great talent this season. He said they don't need any of that bullshit.
Robin said she thinks they're trying to infuse some of the judges personality into the show. Howard said he has no personality. He said he's just a judge and a miserable fuck. He said he's happy when he's judging. Howard said they don't even approach him about some of the wackier stuff they do. Howard said they know not to ask him to parachute into the place or something crazy. Howard said when they were in New Orleans they had Howie leading a parade. Howard said he's glad Howie is doing it so he doesn't have to. Howard said there's no way he would do it. Howard said he pitched them a bit where Heidi and Mel go down on each other and finger each other. They tell him they can't do that.
Howard said they have him picking Howie up in a car tomorrow. He said they'll have to do something in the car. He said it's going to come out of left field. He said Howie will know what to do and pick up random people or something crazy. Howard said Howie will be in costume or some crazy thing like that. Howard said Howie loves pranks. He said this stuff goes on all day.
Howard said he told Howie not to prank him. He said the guy is always on though and he appreciates that. He said he is a very hard worker but he told him not to think he'll react well to any kind of bits. He said if he wants to start knocking on his door when he's sleeping he will kill him. He said he'll Oscar Pistorius kill him right through a door. Howard said when he's cranky he has a very short fuse. He said Heidi and Mel are delightful. He said Heidi will ask to come in and meditate with him. He said she doesn't even meditate. He said she says that he'll teach her. Howard said he doesn't teach that. Howard said he's not sure what she wants from him. He said he doesn't care. He just wants to sit in his room and be told when to work. Howard said that's him.
Howard said Mel B has a 3 ring circus going on in her room. He said she's partying over there. Howard said they try on outfits and things like that. Howard said he's a miserable cock sucking fuck. Robin said Howard has a show and then he judges. Robin said this is the show. Howard said he's America's judge. Robin said Heidi has a whole social media team with her. He said she wants to take a picture and he asks if it's for NBC. He said it turns out to before her social media team. Howard said he doesn't want anything to do with that. He said he'll go to Jason Raff and he disappears. Howard said he later finds out that it was her social media team. Howard said he tells Jason to tell her that he doesn't want anything to do with that. Howard said he likes Heidi and has had her over to his house. He doesn't want to be involved with the pictures though. He said he looks like a gargoyle in these photos. Howard said they have a professional guy working for NBC and that's okay.
Howard said they did a photo shoot where they were supposed to be doing selfies. Howard said they had a professional taking the shot though so it was great. He said Heidi looks great so she can take real selfies. Howard said he hears social media and he's out the door. He said Howie loves that stuff though. Howard said Mel B does too. Howard said he hears Heidi's crew talking about social media and he has to get out of there. He said that makes him look like a dick. He said he's not a 16 year old girl so he's not into that stuff. He said he's a god damn misery.
Howard said he likes judging. Robin said even the President stops for Selfies. Howard said if he was president there wouldn't be any selfies. Howard said he hates that word ''selfie.'' He said it's such a horrible thing. He said he likes the camera far away from his face. He said he'd prefer it on the moon. Howard said it's crazy. He said he just needs relaxation and rest. Howard said he needs to be like a tiger in a cage and to be uncaged for the show.
Howard said he needs to be focused when he judges. He said they see how he works there. He said he doesn't take out his cell phone like the other judges do. He said he needs time to collect his thoughts. He said he has to be wide awake and feel well rested. He said that picking up Howie in a car isn't going to help him. Howard said that's why they pay him more than anyone on the show. He said it's because he's so focused on the show. He said he's stealth and a winner.
Howard said he hears all of the hijinx that go on over there. Robin said she's heard he goes to dinner during the week. Howard said no to her. Howard said Beth went out last night and did something fun. He said he stayed home to prepare for this show. He said he had a business meeting that would blow your mind. Howard said this meeting would make Robin crazy. Robin asked why. Howard said it's such a good idea that it would make her crazy. Howard said he probably won't do it. He said he talked to his wife about it and it probably won't happen because he doesn't have the time. Howard said just imagine him not on earth.
Howard said social media is bullshit. He said that it's not going to do bullshit for you. He said that it's the work that counts. Howard said if you put out good work that counts. He said he shares this with his audience. Robin said she sees Heidi doing everything like commercials and all of that. Robin said she thinks she gets that from the social media thing. Howard said he works for NBC and not social media. Howard said if NBC asks him to do something for their social media department he'll do it. Howard said he won't tolerate anything else.
Howard said he tried to get a hold of Robin but he wasn't able to get her. Robin said sometimes she sleeps in. Howard asked how late she sleeps. Robin said she was in bed until 10 or so. Howard said he didn't know that about her. Howard said that paints her in a different light. Howard said she's sleeping away the day. Robin said it was one day.
Howard said Howie is going to come in today. He said they'll talk to him about a TV show he's promoting. Howard said he's an AGT team player too. Howard said he has another show too though. Howard said they all have things going on. Nick will be in to promote his new album. Howard said Howie asked him to tweet that his show is on tonight. He said he doesn't want to go on and annoy people about Howie's show. Howard said he reluctantly said he'd do it. Howard said he knows Howie watches his account. Howard said he had to do it and Howie was happy about that.
Howard said that Twitter makes him nuts. He said he hates that it was ever invented. Howard said people are acting like they're professional photographers. He said they take pictures and tweet them out. Robin said she hates going out to dinner and having her picture taken to be posted on Twitter and Facebook.
Howard said he went to see ''The Help'' in a theater and enjoyed the experience. Howard said they served diner that night and it was fried chicken. He said that seems to be racist. Howard said he remembers eating and some of the stars of the movie were there. He said one of the stars was a fan but he can't remember her name. Howard said he was there eating the chicken, which he doesn't eat anymore, and then this big flash went off in his face. He said 5 minutes later Martha Stewart came by. He said that he kind of knows her. Howard said she came over laughing and said she just tweeted a picture of him eating his fried chicken. Howard said he didn't even give her permission to do that. Howard said he wanted to take a picture of her and just tweet it. Howard said he'd never do that to her though. Robin said that's what people do to you now. They take your picture and just post it without asking.
Robin said there's a new segment of etiquette because people don't know how to handle this. Howard said she's right. He said that he just wants to be left alone. Robin said the new thing is to ask if you mind being posted. Howard said this is why he doesn't want to go out. He said he hates this social media thing. He said the next day you see in the paper that he was racist because he was eating fried chicken at ''The Help.'' They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he's glad Howie is there on AGT. He said he likes doing the bits and the shtick. Howard said Howie comes to life and he's happy that he's doing that thing tomorrow. Howie said the car does not have Sirius so he didn't hear Howard talking about that this morning. Howard said he feels they look for stuff for them to do so tomorrow they have to go to work 2 hours early. Howard said they're having him pick up Howie at his hotel. Howard said tis' ridiculous. Howard said it will never end up in the show. Howie said some of it does. He said he's going to tell Howard why they do this. Howie said as much as America likes the judging they want to see their interaction outside of just judging. Howard said it feels forced. Howie said if it is then you don't see that. He said that's what they cut. Howard said he's going to sit there like a shlub. Howie said he knows Howard will get upset with him if he invites strangers into the car. Howard said he will.
Howie said that they want them to do their makeup before the shoot. He said they were going to do that in his hotel room. Howie said AGT delivered a makeup mirror for the hotel. He said it's a big thing with lights all around it. He said it's full sized. Howie said they delivered it to the hotel and it couldn't be at the end of a shift so it didn't make it to his room. He said late last night he went for a run in Central Park. He said he got back and some concierge was there and said they had the mirror. Howie said they had the mirror for his room and they thought he ''wanted it'' there. Howie said he didn't want it but NBC sent it over. Howie said the guy said he was told he wanted it in his room. Howie said he asked who delivered it and he told him why it was there. Howie said this thing is in the lobby with his name on a tag. He said that he hopes there is someone from the hotel listening and knows that he's not nuts.
Howard said that mirror was in his room in every city they would go to. Howard said he was humiliated by that. He said it's a giant mirror with lights around it.
Howard said he feels like these bits they make them do is wearing them out. Howard said that he just wants to go to work. Howie said he likes to do this other stuff. He said he needs that distraction. Howard said his wife was talking to him asking how his dressing room was. He said he was right next to Howie's room and it was great because Howie can't stay in his dressing room. He said Heidi and Mel are busy doing stuff all the time. Howard said he has no beef with Howie's room. Howie said he's shushed constantly in the halls near Howard's room. He said that they say he's sleeping all the time.
Howard told Howie that Heidi keeps asking to come in his room to hang out and meditate. Howard said he's not sure if she wants to fuck him or just hang out. Howie said she is free. Howard said she's dating a 22 year old. He said he thinks it's going to end badly though. He said she's going to end up getting hurt.
Howard said he tells Heidi that he doesn't want to meditate with her because she doesn't meditate. Howard said he can't teach her how to do it. Howard said he needs quiet time.
Howard said he was talking about the photo shoot they did recently. He said that he thinks Howie was getting upset with the attention that was on him there. Howie said he really doesn't have a problem. Howard said the photographer was talking to him and Howie started mumbling that he wasn't there and no one was paying attention to him. Howie said Nick was there too. He said that he really didn't want the attention. He said he was just goofing around because it was funny. He said that he was talking to Nick about it. Howie said it's ridiculous. He said there are 4 judges and Nick. He said they were doing the photo session for the poster and it was so fucking ridiculous. He said Nick will remember it so ask him too. He said the photographer kept telling Howard what to do and how to pose. Howie said he was only saying Howard's name. Howie said it went on forever. He said that he and Nick were looking at each other wondering if they were even in the frame. Howard said in his mind he was tantruming that he wasn't getting attention.
Howard said he was steaming mad about the whole thing. He said there are times that Howie gets the attention. He said when they drove around with Heidi driving he was getting all of the attention yelling at how she was driving. Howard said Howie was yelling at her for splashing people out there. Howard said he got through the whole thing and he saw the funny in it but many a joke is said in a passive aggressive way. Howie said it's really not. He said he hates getting his picture taken. Howard said he does too.
Howard said he's fine with NBC's social media team but not with Heidi's. Howard said no one asks him if it's okay.
Howie asked if he's okay with it when he asks him to tweet about his show ''Deal With It.'' Howard said he's fine with it but he worries that he's going to forget about it. Howard asked if he can talk about what he asked him the other day about Ronnie. Howie said that's fine. Howard said Howie has a production company and he likes what he's done with Ronnie on the show. Howard said Howie wants to develop a show with Ronnie. Howard said his phone fell down when he heard that. Howard said Howie asked if he wanted his name on the project. Howard said he couldn't absorb it all. He said he told Howie he had to think about it. Howard said he thought about it and he doesn't want to do a thing with Ronnie. He said it's fine if Howie wants to do something. Howard said he just wants the guy to drive him. He said he doesn't want credit for the whole thing. He said he called Howie back and told him to create a show about Ronnie. Howard said he didn't want a piece of the action or anything. He said he doesn't think there will be any action but he gave Howie the okay. He said Ronnie signed papers with the production company and all of that.
Howie said that there's a show called Bar Rescue where they save bars that are in trouble. He said this is going to be called ''Make It Rain with Ronnie Mund.'' He said they're going to go to strip clubs and reconfigure the clubs that aren't doing well. Howard said just imagine that a club has naked girls and they can't do well. Howard said that you'd think you'd do great business automatically. Howie said his dad was a bar owner and he had to hire strippers at times. He said that was up in Stratford, Ontario. He said he had a hotel and he had a stripper named princess Glow. He said she was about 350 pounds and she'd get in a giant champagne glass and take a bubble bath. Then she'd drop her soapy tits on guy's heads. Howard asked if he was a kid. Howie said he was but it was his dad's club. He said he met her and his dad showed him the pictures. Howard said that's weird that he'd show him those pictures. Howie said he was about 14 at the time. Howard said that's pretty progressive for a dad.
Howard asked what happened to his dad. Howie said he died of cancer in 1989. He said he was very close to his dad and he almost quit comedy over that. He said he was his best friend. Howie said he didn't feel like being funny back then. Howie said he wanted to push things really far and his dad would be standing there. He said they shared a sense of humor. He said that he'd show up at everything. He said when he died he had no one to look out to the wings at.
Howard asked if he knew he was going. Howie said his dad called and he was in pretty good shape. He said that he had a cough and the doctor didn't like the look of it. He said he flew in to see his dad and he went to see the doctor. He said St. Elsewhere had just ended for him and he played a doctor on the show. He said Doctors embraced him because of that. Howie said when he had his first daughter he went to the hospital and the doctors wanted to meet him. He said they didn't want to just come in and say they like the show. He said they'd come in with a reason. He said a doctor would come in and put a glove on and stick his fingers into his wife and tell him she's dilated to 4 centimeters. He said that another doctor would come in and do the same thing and tell him he's a fan. Howie said 5 guys would walk in and do the same thing. Howie said he had to tell them that this wasn't a puppet show. He asked the 5th guy to keep his fingers out of his wife.
Howie said he went into the doctor who was working with his dad. He said they took X-rays and they had just been developed. He said that the doctor showed him the shot of his lung and it didn't look good. He said it was cancer and it was inoperable and he had about 3 weeks at best. Howie said he doesn't believe in telling someone about that. Howie said if you have the disease you have to tell someone and do something if it is operable. Howie said he told the doctor not to tell his dad. He said the doctor said they had to tell him. He said he wanted him to wait until his dad asked. Howie said he knew his dad wouldn't ask. He said if he didn't ask he didn't want the doctor to tell him. Howard said that his last few weeks of life would be hell. Howie said that there are miracles but why devastate him now. Howard said the mind is an amazing thing and if you don't know that you're dying you might last for years.
Howie said he told the doctor not to volunteer any information. Howie said his father came in and he acted like he didn't know anything. Howie said the doctor told him he was going to prescribe some medication and see how he did. Howie said his dad left and bought a lottery ticket. He said that his dad didn't even last until that lottery was pulled. Howie said the last conversation they had was going to buy that lottery ticket. He said a week later things were going bad and he pretended he didn't know. He said he spent every day with him. Howie said his dad didn't ask why he was there. Howard said maybe he knew something was up. Howard asked if he was pissed he wasn't told he was that sick. Howie said he wasn't. He said he wouldn't want to know himself. Howard said he wouldn't either. Robin said maybe there were things he needed to do. Howie asked who gives a fuck if you have to get your money together or whatever. Howie said he tried to help his dad but it didn't last long. He said it was just a couple of weeks. Howie said he did what he could do but it was a very trying time. He said it marked and changed his life.
Howard said what he should have done was start yelling at the doctor for not telling his dad. Howie said his father did blame shit on him after. He said his dad died and they had the funeral. Howard asked if he had a final conversation with him. Howie said he was in the room at the time he died. Howard said he sees why he's so social now. He said his dad was like that. Howard said his dad was a club owner. Howie said his dad was a people person but he's really not. He said he just needs the distraction.
Howard talked to Howie about the strip clubs in Canada. Howie said that they have the best in Montreal. He said they have the most beautiful women there.
Howard asked if his wife got upset last time he was on the show. Howie said he's not sure what she would have gotten upset about. Howard asked if he goes to the strip clubs. Howie said he has been but he really doesn't like going. Howard said when Heidi hugs Howie his OCD goes right out the window. Howard said Heidi was just about humping him once and he had a smile on his face like he was so fucking happy. Howie said now his wife will get angry. Howard said he thinks that he really was turned on by Heidi. Howie said she flirts with everyone though. He said she flirts with Howard more than him. Howard said he doesn't think so. Howard said he thinks the opposite.
Howard asked if Howie saw the shots of Mel on that boat. Howie said he did. Howie said he thinks that they're off to a great start this season already. Howie said this is a big ass show. He said that it's a big production. He said there are like 300 people that you don't see back stage. Howie said once the show is going it's on. He said that they were in Newark a few weeks ago and they saw an act that is shit. He said he went to hit the button and there was no button there. Howie said he looked at Howard and nothing was happening when he was hitting the button. Howie said he thought that's what the whole show was about. He said that's what the people wait for. Howie said Mel B was yelling that her fucking button was not working. Howie said they had to cut. Howie said that it would have been 4 X's and he'd be out. They had to call the tech team in there to check it out. Howie said they had all of this going on. Howie said under his desk they lift the curtain and there's all these plugs. He said there's one plug out and the guy asked what that was plugged in. He followed the cord and it goes to Mel B's phone. He said she's charging her phone on the plug where the buzzers are plugged in. Howard said he was so pissed about that. He said she had to be fucking kidding. Howard said she was the one yelling that her button wasn't working. Howard said they should leave that in. He said it was funny as hell but he was annoyed. Howard said he doesn't remember what they did. He said it ruined the whole moment.
Howard said he confronted Mel B about the pictures. He said she claims that tit was just a friend and nothing was going on. Howard said it looked like more than nothing. She claims it was nothing sexual. Robin said bull. Howard said she claims that she's bi-sexual at times but not this time. Howard said they can't show that stuff on AGT but he does bring it up on air when they're taping.
Howard said that Howie's show ''Deal With It'' is on tonight at 10:30 on TBS. Howie said what they do is mess with people. He said they have someone back stage telling a regular person what to do to their date at a restaurant. Howie said they tell the person that they can win $5,000 if they do all of these things they ask them to do. Howie said they had Tom Green on the show and he had a guy telling his daughter that he was leaving her mother. Howie said they send in an actor who plays the person he's leaving the mother for. Howard asked if anyone has a heart attack from this. Howie said people do get upset but when they realize it's a game they're fine. Howard said people will sell out their kid for 5 grand. Howie said there are tears. He said he's there for the shoot. He said he sees it all going down. Howie said they have some great stuff. Howard said they averaged 2.1 million viewers. He said that's huge. Howie said it really is.
Howie said tonight the show is on and he'll tweet live. He said that he'll answer questions about it. Howie said they do it live and you can't engage like that unless you're on radio. Howard said he'd want people to watch the show and not be distracted like that.
Howard asked if he sold his Malibu mansion for 7 million. Howie said he did. Howard asked what he paid for it. Howie said it was less. Howie said he had the place built. Howard said that's great real estate. Howie said Howard is a good actor acting like that's good money. Howard said it is good money. Howard said he should be proud of himself. He said there aren't a lot of comedians who have that kind of money.
Howard asked if Howie was friends with David Brenner. Howie said he wasn't but he admired him. He asked if he read the Paul Reiser piece on him. Howard said he did and it was great.
Howard asked who he admired in comedy. Howie said that Steve Martin was great on the Tonight Show. Howard said he had a conversation with Steve off the air and he was telling him about the amount of work he puts into a talk show appearance. Howard said it really pays off too. Howie said people don't realize that. He said that he remembers classic bits he did on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. Howie said he remembered one where he came on and he was promoting something and said he had to go because he had a big thing going on. Steve comes back out saying he had no place to go and it was great. He said he was always funny on the show.
Howard said Chris Rock tells a story about being on Joan Rivers with Howie. Howie said it's the best piece of tape. He said Chris was an up and coming comic at the time. It was way before Saturday Night Live. He said at the time Joan was doing her show on FOX and it was going to be her last show. Howie said Chris had to choose between doing Joan's last show or the Tonight Show. Chris was told to do Joan's show.
Howard asked if Johnny was upset with him for doing the last Joan Rivers show. Howie said Johnny was already mad at him. He said that Joan and David were filling in for Johnny when he was out. He said Joan was getting better ratings than Johnny was. He said that Joan would do her act at a club and he figured if she saw him she'd book him on the Tonight Show. Howie said he booked a night at the club and he woke up sick that day. He said he wanted to get on the Tonight Show so he didn't cancel. He said he was sick and he had to go with a 104 fever. He said he got to the Comedy Store and Joan walked in. He said she was a huge star at the time. Howie said he walked in and he had to hold onto the walls. Howie said he took all the adrenalin he had to do his act. He said the audience was roaring. He said he just threw caution to the wind and did his thing. He said he walked off the stage and then Joan passes him. He said she told him he was very funny. Howie said he wanted to make eye contact with her later after her act. Howie said she killed and he was unable to stand because he was so sick. Howie said that a half hour went by and he was laying on the stairs waiting to say hi to her. Howie said she came out and saw him out there. Howie said she asked him if he had ever been on the Tonight Show. Howie said this week was his birthday and she asked him who to call to get him on the Tonight Show. Howie said she got him on the show and it was great. Howie said he was able to say that he did the show.
Howie said the next day he got a call saying Johnny had seen him and wanted him back in 2 weeks. Howie said he had to do it. He said he figured he had arrived. Howie said they tried to get him not to do some of his act. He said that they thought Johnny wasn't going to like it. Howie decided to do the material anyway. He said that they were off the notes and he asked Johnny if he likes 3D movies. He said he had the 3D glasses and asked him to put them on. He said Johnny put them on and he carried a had bag. He said he had stuffed animals there and he started whipping them at Johnny's face. He said he asked if it looked like they were coming right at him. He said Johnny had no idea he was going to do it. He said Johnny just started laughing. He said he told him it was so funny. Howie said he did the show 22 times after that. He said that was the beginning for him. He said people knew who he was. He said he was about 25 at the time.
Howie told Howard about how he got a call from one of the producers and they asked him to do the Tonight Show at the last minute. He said that this was the day that Sammy Davis was diagnosed with cancer. He said that he had no material together and he said he couldn't make it. Howie said that he's not going to call him and go over anything if he can't get an act together. Howie said he had to work on something. Howie said he went to the prop department at some place and asked what it would cost to send this giant tiger to the show. Howie said he saw a giant carrot there and asked them to send that along with the saber tooth tiger. He said he got them both shipped to Burbank for $500. He said he called the producer about what was going on. He said he got to the show and the show starts and he's the first guest. Howie said he was introduced and the curtain opens and he has this rope with a dolly that he's pulling. He said he pulls the thing out and there's a giant saber tooth tiger there. Howie said he gets to where Johnny is and he tries to lift the tiger onto the stage. He said nothing is happening and the audience has died down. He said he asked Ed to help hi out and Ed was trying to lift the thing too. Howie said he asked Doc Severenson to help and lift the ass. He said they got the head on the riser and it was blocking Johnny. He said they didn't move the cameras so Johnny wasn't being seen. Howie said he had Doc pushing and Ed pulling. He said the cameras were moving for the first time in 20 years. He said it was silent and uncomfortable. He said Johnny was tapping his pencil and asked ''What is this?'' Howie said he says ''I don't want to talk about it.'' Howie said Johnny asked a couple of questions and he didn't know what was going on. Howie said that Johnny was pissed and went to break. He said that the stage hands came and removed the tiger. He said Johnny brought out Debbie Reynolds and Johnny never had him on the show again. Howard said he must have thought it was annoying. Howie said he thinks that in that position he shouldn't have to work. He said that he was off script and that didn't work for him. He said that they get annoyed. Howard asked if he got to bring the carrot out. Howie said he did.
Howard asked what happened with Chris Rock. Howie said you have to go over every joke you're going to do on a show with the booker. He said they want to know the closing joke for the band to play you off. Howie said you usually close on your best joke. Howie said they introduce Chris and he comes out. He said that Chris walks up there with energy and he does a joke and really lays an egg. He said the joke didn't work. He said like a great comic he made an adjustment. He had to go for a great joke. He said that he did his closing joke as his second joke and the band plays him off. He did a 35 second set. He said that Joan called him over and sat down. He said that he did a 35 second set and that was it. He said that Joan talked to him and that was it. Howard said he has to see that. Howie said he's not sure if it's out there to see. Howard said he had never heard that story before. Howie said he was there for that.
Howard gave Howie some plugs for his ''Deal With It'' show which is on tonight on TBS. Howie asked Howard to do an Instagram with him. Howard said he doesn't want to do that. Howard said he's going to pick Howie up for work tomorrow.
Howard said they never did get to the Ronnie stuff. Howard asked when they're going to shoot it. Howie said that he has to sell the show first. He said that he has to go out and sell it and then they'll go into production. Howard asked if Ronnie was tough to deal with. Howie said the negotiations went on for months. Howie said last time he was signed to something he said he couldn't talk about it. Howie said he hopes that they can sell the show. He said he hopes it'll be the next ''Deal With It.'' Howard said he thinks Ronnie has some skill. He hopes it works out. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and Robin said they don't make music like that anymore. Howard said it's kind of America's Got Talent day. He said Nick Cannon is there and he's been getting shit for imitating a white guy. Howard said he defended him. Nick said he heard about that. He said he liked that so much he brought him a copy of '' White People Party Music.''
Howard said he's not sure why people are upset about him imitating a white man. Howard said he watches FOX news all the time and they are always complaining about how they're taking Christmas away from them. Howard said most of the country is Christian so there's no worry of that happening. Howard said that he's shocked that Nick is getting any reaction to this. Nick said it's the reaction he wanted. He said that he's getting more publicity than he wanted. He said that he planned this a year ago. He said he wanted it to come out on April 1st and he wanted to piss people off. He said it worked. Nick said people don't realize that he did that character Conner Smallnut before. He said that he's been doing that character since he was a teen on Nickelodeon. He said he does it in his stand up act too. Nick did some of that voice for Howard. Howard said he knows guys who talk like that.
Howard said when he thinks about Nick's career he's one of those guys who is liked by everyone. Howard said he has a likeable personality. Nick said he heard his Q rating was pretty high in the past but he's not sure after this album came out. Howard said people love to hate him. He said he doesn't have a high Q rating. Howard said he's polarizing. Howard said that they've gone on the street and people say they'd rather have sex with Charles Manson over him.
Howard said Nick is so likeable so he's wondering if he freaks out when this controversy happens. Nick said he doesn't do that. He said the people on his team don't talk to him for days after he does something like that. Nick said he does stuff like this all the time. He said he always does something ridiculous. Howard said he seems to be immune to any sort of controversy but this struck a nerve. Nick said he thinks that people just wonder why he gets to do this. He said he's just being ''me.'' Howard said it has to affect people giving this album a shot. Nick said he could care less if people buy the album. He said it did it for fun.
Howard said he doesn't want to have an embarrassment though. Nick said he has a record company and as long as one or two artists are doing okay it's fine to have some albums that don't do well. Howard asked if he has a recording studio in his basement or something. Nick said it's something like that. Nick said that there is something to be said about the studios where you record. He said that anyone can have a home studio now though. He said it's just a computer and a microphone.
Howard asked if he played any instruments. Nick said he does. He said he plays guitar on this album but he's not amazing. He said he knows his way around a lot of instruments. He said he plays guitar on a couple of songs on the album. He said Randy Jackson plays bass on one of the songs too. Nick said this album is done in fun. He said he's not taking it seriously. Howard played some of one of the songs off the album ''White People Party Music''. Howard said it sounds pretty serious to him. He said this isn't some joke song.
Howard asked Nick when he found out that people were offended by the white face picture. nick said it was Twitter. He said he put the pictures out Sunday night and he was in Canada doing press. He said Monday he figured people were going to ask about it. He said no one did. He said he felt kind of defeated. Then Vanity Fair tweeted something out about the pictures and how there was a big backlash. He said he replied to them and said that's all he needed. He said it took off from there. Howard said he figured he was so likeable that it's his meal ticket. Nick said he tries to push it as far as he can go. He said he likes to go there and try crossing that line. Howard asked if anyone is coming up to him and saying ''fuck you'' or anything. Nick said they really don't. He said he gets a lot of support from people. Howard said he doesn't think that anyone was genuinely offended. Howard said that he thought it was funny. Nick said that you can't just call someone racist for doing something like that.
Howard asked if Mariah was weighing in on that. Nick said she doesn't care. Howard asked if she listens to his music to give it her stamp of approval. nick said not really. He said he did write one song about her and that's probably the only one she likes. He said that she helped him with that song too.
Howard asked how the marriage is going. Nick said they're coming up on 6 years at the end of the month. Howard said he has read that they were getting divorced and Mariah was cheating on him with some guy named Naz. Nick said that stuff isn't true. He said that Mariah went to his birthday party and people make that stuff up. Nick said he's not jealous of that stuff either.
Howard said he doesn't understand the whole DJ thing. He said Nick goes and plays records. Nick said DJs are like rock stars. He said people used to want to be guitar players but now they want turntables. Nick said he has made over $60 million in sales from headphones. He said that's due to the DJ business. He said he gets a nice percentage of that money too.
Nick said that Beats by Dre is doing really well. He said that Monster created those headphones and he had a meeting with Jimmy Iovine. He said that Dre wasn't going to go promote them so they asked him to go promote them on the Home Shopping Network. Nick said that they weren't going to pay him for that but he had artists with Interscope that they were going to help him out with. Nick said Dre was going to call in from his house and they were going to talk about how great they were. Nick said he was on for about an hour. He said the sales were amazing and that was before the headphones were even in the store. He said he got a call from the head of Monster and he told him he should do his own headphones. That's where that came from.
Howard asked why they make the Beats so bass heavy. Nick said they wanted it that way so it was like the club or the car sound on your head. Howard said it seems like a fashion statement these days. Nick said that they are a fashion statement. They're $300 headphones on your head and they show them off. Howard said he thought it was embarrassing to show off wealth like that.
Howard said Dr. Dre is seeing more money from headphones than he is from music. Nick said that music will always set trends and he thinks that they're just a few years from all music being free. He said that they have to do other things to make money. He said it's not even about selling records anymore. Howard asked if he ever says he doesn't want to put out his own headphones. Nick said absolutely not. He said that's what he's in the business for. He said he's there to whore himself out. Howard said he doesn't think that way. He said he wants it to be pure entertainment. Nick said he gets that. Nick said that young people want to consume as much as they can though. He said all of Howard's fans would buy his headphones if he put them out. He said they want to be a part of Howard's world.
Howard asked how his headphones are different from Beats. Nick said he wanted his to be half the price but the same quality. Nick said he wanted to have something at Walmart and places that people can afford. He said that's what they did and they made more money doing that. Howard asked if that means it's not as cool. Nick said they're just as cool but less expensive.
Howard asked Nick why the club DJ has become the rock star. Howard said they're just guys playing other people's music. Nick said it's an art form. He said that there are so many things going on at the club and it's just the one guy controlling the mood there. Howard said anyone can walk in with songs prepared to play. He said it's mind boggling to him. Nick said it's a culture. He said he has been DJ'ing since he was in high school. He said there is a learning curve. Nick said it used to be about song choice but now you have to know how to do other things. He said you have to blend songs and things like that. Howard said he had a job working as a DJ and he was fired after the first night. He said he didn't know what to do.
Nick said he was DJ'ing a few hours ago at a party. He said he took a nap after that. Howard said he seems to be in a good mood even though he didn't get sleep. Nick said that's because things are good.
Howard asked where he was DJ'ing. Nick said he was at a club there in the city. Howard said he used to go to clubs and he'd get there too early and no one was there. Howard said people don't show up until 1 in the morning. Nick said he did a short set because he knew he was doing Howard's show. He said he has done shows all over the place. He said he did a club in Miami last week. Howard said he must never be home. Nick said he was home last night. Howard said he doesn't know where he finds the time. Nick said that they're both very busy but they find the time.
Howard asked Nick about the kids going to school and Nick said that they're going to go to public school. Howard said that sounds nuts to him. He asked how that's going to work. Nick said that he wants them to have that experience.
Howard asked about the Nanny and if the kids are with them more. Nick said the kids are with Mariah more than anyone.
Howard said that Mariah is a huge star and they have to bring in a nanny and they don't know who this person is. Nick said that they have had to fire some people. He said that they really don't know who they are. Nick said that everything is on a trial basis so some people are never invited back. Nick said that they're always traveling so sometimes the Nanny doesn't get a plane ticket to the next city.
Howard said he has had to fire people and it's not easy. He said he reads that this is going on every month at Nick's house. Nick said they set it up that way. He said if they connect it can go on longer but they can expect to only be there for a few weeks.
Howard asked if Nick likes doing AGT. Nick said it's cool to him. He said he enjoys it. Howard said he feels he works way harder than they do. Nick said he feels like he's on auto pilot. He said it doesn't feel like work until the live shows. He said even then it's just a few hours a week.
Howard said they're going to be working hard this week. Nick said he's very busy with AGT and the album promotion. Howard said he had that health scare though. Nick said he is getting sleep but maybe not as much as he should. Howard asked if he thinks he works this hard to have more of a distraction from his personal life. Howard said something has to be suffering. Nick said he's thinking about it and he honestly doesn't feel everything he does is a lot of work. Nick said he has had jobs before and it's much harder than what he does. He said he gets to make people smile and make music. He said he's married to Mariah Carrey and he's blessed.
Howard asked if the sex is good. Nick said it's great. Howard asked if he fucks her hard. Nick said he isn't going there. He said his wife doesn't like when he comes on the show. He said she gets upset about the small things like other people's names that he's had sex with. Nick said she wonders why he'd even talk about that.
Howard said what's weird is that he and Nick had a conversation about the women he had sex with and another show asked him about the same thing and that made even more noise. Nick said people think he's really crazy this week. Nick said that he doesn't think anyone would ask Brad Pitt about his past sexual conquests. Howard said he would.
Howard said Nick talked about Kim Kardashian and that really got Mariah's goat. Nick said he doesn't think so. He said Mariah doesn't even know who she is. He said it was more about the fact that he spent time on his past. Nick said they had a conversation about women's hygiene that people loved. He said everyone but his wife loved that conversation. Nick said she took it in a way that it sounded like she was part of the conversation but she wasn't.
Howard asked how Kim's hygiene was. Nick said it was normal. Howard said he's fascinated with this stuff. Howard said it's way more interesting when you bang a famous chick. Nick said that was his goal and objective. He said he wanted Mariah Carrey. Nick said you want to live out your fantasy and he did. Nick said that's how he came up. Howard said he has fucked stars and there is a moment that you see that person in bed and wonder how you got there.
Howard asked what it's like when he goes home and his wife is pissed. Nick said that she's so good. He said she doesn't bring it up at all. He said he's like a kid waiting for a whooping. He said that she waits for weeks to bring it up. Nick said that he left the house one day and Mariah brought it up. He said she just brings it up as he's walking out the door. Nick said with what he and Howard talked about she waited even longer. He said sometimes people don't get it accurate and that makes it even worse. Nick said he went on Howard TV and showed her what he talked about and thought that would help. He said it didn't help.
Howard asked if he fights back and tries to get out of it. Nick said you have to apologize. Nick said that you can't make sense out of it and try to reason with a woman if she feels a certain way. Howard said most guys argue back. Nick said he grew up around a lot of women and he saw the emotions of women. He said he saw guys break his mother's heart and he knows how to tap into that. Howard asked if he thinks he was wrong talking about his sex life. Nick said no. He said you can't apologize for being honest. He said he did apologize for being insensitive and hurting her feelings.
Howard asked if Mariah is listening this morning. Nick said she's not but she will eventually. Howard said her ''teams'' will report to her too. Nick said that's what will happen and they don't always get it right. Nick said he has a team too so he knows what that can be like. He said if they have to deal with something they have a discussion and don't yell about it.
Howard said that he blows his load too fast. Nick said you have to hold out as long as you can so the woman gets tired. Howard said that never happens for him. He said that he just finish too fast. Howard said he can never put Beth to sleep. He said he actually does. He said Nick is right about that.
Howard asked Nick about going out to the club last night at 1 in the morning. Nick said he was back home and in bed around 2:30 in the morning. He said the kids were in his bed with Mariah. Howard said that doesn't sound healthy to him. Howard said it must be intrusive to the marriage. Nick said that they have a special room for when they want to have sex. Nick said that the kids are fine in the bed.
Nick said that he's trying to figure out when his kids are going to pee so he can get them to the bathroom on time. He said there are no more diapers.
Howard asked how much sleep he's getting these days. Nick said he gets about 4 hours. He said his doctors would like him to get 6. Nick said he's very busy today. He said he has to go to the Empire State Building to do a shoot for AGT. He said he has a lot of other things going on this week too.
Nick said he used to do the DJ thing and then go to the radio station right after. He said during the day he'd be in a daze from that. He said that people would be talking to him and he'd have no idea what they were saying. He said that's why he had to cut back on how much he's doing.
Howard asked Nick what songs he would play at a club to put people in a good mood. Nick said it all depends on the club. Nick told Howard about some of the songs he'd play for certain clubs. He said you stay on top of that stuff through other DJs. He said he's part of a crew called Scam Artist. He said that's like a agency for the DJs. Howard asked what they can get paid per hour. Nick said some guys are pulling in $250,000 to $500,000 per night. Howard said the first time he saw that was about 16 years ago and the guy was smoking while standing on stage playing records. Nick said it's $250,000 just to stand there.
Howard asked if the DJ talks into the microphone too. Nick said he does since he's an entertainer. He said it's in a very disc jockey kind of way. He said he does all of that stuff. Nick said other DJs you don't even notice in the club until he leaves. Nick said he's an attention whore so he's trying to be the life of the party. Nick said there are guys who study the business and know the albums that are going to be big. Howard said he's glad that he doesn't have to do that shit. Howard said he's happy doing what he does.
Howard said he's looking forward to spending the weekend with Nick at Madison Square Garden. Howard said he has to do that thing with Howie tomorrow. Nick said that they did that thing with Heidi driving last year. He said they should talk to NBC about that. Nick said NBC made him change his hair. He said he was getting his Dennis Rodman thing going and he got a call from NBC. Howard asked who called. Nick said it was a call without him involved. He said that they knew it was a sensitive subject. Howard said it's just a fun thing. Howard said he should come out as the white guy on AGT. He said that would be fucking great. Nick said that would be awesome. Howard said he'll come out in black face. Nick said that would be so great.
Nick said NBC called and asked him to change his hair. He said he got on the phone with Jason Raff and he asked him to change his hair. Nick said they were talking about continuity and it really doesn't matter on the show.
Gary came in with a picture of Nick's cheetah hair. Howard said he looks like a chocolate chip cookie. He said it's he ugliest thing he's ever seen. Howard said that would have been great. Nick said he had cheetah hair and cheetah shoes to match. He said they made him change it last night.
Howard said he thought Nick was miserable the night of the judges dinner. Nick said he doesn't like those things. He said that he and Howard had a great conversation but he doesn't like those parties. He said he had other things on his mind. Nick said he likes socializing but not fake socializing. Nick said he doesn't want to be out late just to get up the next morning to see them again. Howard said he should have said something. Nick said they listen to Howard. Howard said that's what Mel thinks because she asked him to say something once when she was upset.
Howard gave Nick some plugs for his album ''White People Party Music'' and said he doesn't think that he'll get in trouble with Mariah today. He said that he heard he bought her a $350,000 piece of jewelry because she was upset about something. Nick said that was for her birthday. He said it was expensive. Howard asked if he can believe he's spending that kind of money on jewelry. Nick said that he loves it. Howard asked what the most expensive gift has been. Nick said he spent a little over a million on her wedding ring. He said that took a couple of payments to pay off. Nick said he would give his left leg for Mariah. He said that he rounded up as much money as he could get for that.
Howard said nick is on a roll. He said he has to pace himself though. Howard asked how old the kids are. Nick said they'll be 3 on the 30th. Howard played the song ''Looking For The Dream'' from Nick's new album and went to break a short time later.
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Howard said if he took every job he was offered he wouldn't have a life. Howard said Michael is a very likeable guy. He said he's seen him on that show. Robin said she thinks everyone likes him. Howard said he's not pushy or aggressive either. He said he seems to get it. Howard said he would like to know when he has time for a life. Robin said things are crazy with him. She said she reads about him every week in the paper.
Howard said when Howie was talking about the Tonight Show they put a link up to that appearance where he did his last Tonight Show appearance. Howard said they also put up that shot that Martha Stewart posted on her Twitter account.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said Nick is a great guy and he embraces everyone if they win or lose. Mariann said there are still seats available for the AGT taping. Howard said he was wondering about that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he did a couple of great interviews. Howard said Howie and Nick were both great. Jeff said they really were. Robin said Howie had some great stories. Howard said they were talking about what a great guest he is. Howard said some guys are just great at that kind of stuff.
Jeff told Howard he got life insurance. Robin asked who he's leaving as a beneficiary. Jeff said he's leaving it to his brother. Howard said he thought he didn't like his brother. Jeff said that's his other brother. Howard said Jeff has nothing so why would he do that. Jeff said he didn't want to be a burden on anyone so he's doing it for that. Howard said he's fascinated by that. He said that he's a burden in life but he won't be in death. Howard said Jeff is a total burden in life. Howard said he could be less of a burden in life. Jeff asked if he's really that bad. Howard said he doesn't even have a job. Howard asked what kind of policy he has. Jeff said it's $7,000. Howard asked what it costs. Jeff said it's $23 a month. Howard said he can't believe it's that high. Jeff said the guy just came there and approved him. Howard said he's shocked. He said that this guy must be desperate. Howard said he bets it's not even a real life insurance policy. Jeff said it's legit. Jeff said they first payment they take out today right out of his checking account. Howard said of course they're going to take the money. Howard said he likes to see him being responsible.
Jeff said he thought that he was going to get mad at him for showing some growth. Howard said he doesn't see any growth at all. He told him not to worry about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's sick of hearing him talk about what's good music. He said that Prince's Purple Rain is not good. Howard asked if he's kidding. The caller said that he's talking about Adam Levine's cover of the song. Howard said he's out of his mind. He said that his phone connection blows too. Howard hung up on him. Howard said just wait until you see that performance. Howard said he has a big announcement coming about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he remembers seeing a Steve Martin bit on the Tonight Show. He said Steve did a ''Name that Tune'' bit on the show and it was great. He told Howard about it and Howard joked that this guy has a great way of telling a story. The caller asked if he could do the entire show as his parents. Howard said he's not sure he could do that. Howard said he's striking out on both of those things. He let the guy go a short time later. Howard said he's not sure he could keep doing his parents for the whole show. He said he's good for about a minute or two.
Howard said the Dutch prime minister was talking and the guy farts. He had an audio clip where you can hear that fart. Howard played the clip and you can hear a pretty loud sounding fart. Howard said that had to be a real fart.
Howard said he had a clip from an ABC affiliate in Dallas where the anchor says ''cock piss'' instead of cockpit. Howard played that one and said he has a lot more to play but they'll have to get to them some other time.
Robin started her news talking about a study that was done about erectile dysfunction that showed a few things about what these people suffer from other than the erectile dysfunction. That led to Howard coming up with an idea for a show there. He said he'd like to have Angelina Jolie trying to get guys who have erectile dysfunction hard. Fred played some porn sounds mixed in with some other audio drops. Howard kept that going for a few minutes. He had Brad Pitt sitting in the audience with their kids. Howard said he had a guy who hasn't had an erection in 17 years and he's homeless. Howard said this is Rush Limbaugh. Howard said his gunt hangs over his penis too so Angelina is going to have to lift that gunt up to get to it. Howard said he hasn't bathed in a month either. Howard said he hasn't wiped so it might be particularly smelly down there too. Howard had Angelina try to get him hard. Fred played the audio drops of Aurora Snow deep throating while Howard gave the play by play of what Angelina was doing to Rush. Howard said Rush came but he never had an erection. Howard said that was some ejaculate. Howard said that was it for Celebrity Blow Job. Howard said next week they'll be back with Sarah Palin giving the BJ. Howard said in 3 weeks they'll have Alex Trebeck on to do the blow job. Howard wondered what network he can sell that to. Robin said there might be a bidding war over that.
Robin read a story about Wu Tang putting out a new album and they're only pressing one copy. Howard said that way they sell every copy. Robin said they are saying that it doesn't matter if you put out records. Howard said Jackie Martling put out one copy of his last album and it's still sitting on the shelf.
Robin said that Dr. Phil thinks he can fix every problem. Robin said he did one show where he didn't offer anyone any help. Robin said he had several people on and he decided that none of them could be helped. She said he didn't even offer. Robin said he had a woman on who was so into her rabbits that she tried to breast feed them. She said Phil told her to get a life. Robin said another guy was on and eats with his dogs so Phil looked at him and asked how he lives. The guy said he has a trust fund so Phil didn't bother offering any help. Howard said that shows where he's at. Robin said he had a 19 year old on who is one of those Furrys and Phil told her mother to stop giving her money.
Robin said there are some Howard Stern Show mentions in the paper today about what some of their guests have been talking about. One story was about what Anderson Cooper was saying about not getting an inheritance. Howard said he still doesn't believe that one. Howard said she has to be leaving him some money.
Robin said there were some April Fools jokes and one was George Takei saying that he was going to host Saturday Night Live. Howard said he has to tell George that it's not that far fetched and that's not much of a prank. He said Jodi Arias or George Zimmerman hosting would be a joke. Howard went into a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break, around 9:50am, Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin said she was just coming back from a bathroom break. Howard told her not to say bathroom. Robin said she was just freshening up then.
Robin read a story about people who run a lot each week and asked if they're doing good or not. Howard said he walks around in a dizzy funk. Howard said he keeps it lighter than he used to. Howard said he thinks it should be moderate. Robin said people who do a lot of miles don't live longer than people who don't do any miles at all. Robin read about how researchers found that lifespans of people who run high mileage isn't any higher than those who don't run. Robin said long distance runners aren't doing themselves any favors. Howard told her not to tell Jon Hein that.
Robin read a story about how more than half the children in the United States don't have a strong emotional attachment to their parents that helps them be successful in their career.
Robin read about an 8.2 magnitude earthquake in Chile and Peru. Robin said they are no tsunami warnings in California at this time. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that. Robin said they say the quake was very shallow and there are reports of landslides in Chile. Robin said they were asked to leave some cities down there because of the tsunami warning there. Robin said it looked like The Walking Dead.
Howard said the person with the least personality, Scott Salem, tried to do an April Fools joke. Howard played a phone call Scott made to a guy where he said ''April Fools...'' in a way only Scott could say it. Scott asked the guy if he was laughing hard and kept saying ''April fools'' but there were no jokes. Howard said the sad thing is that he's a better comedian than he is an engineer. Howard played a bit that Scott the Engineer did for National Humor Month too.
Robin read a story about a web site that's taking a stand against the Firefox browser. Robin said that the CEO of Mozilla, the maker of the browser, wants to outlaw gay marriage in California. Howard said when you run a company you keep your mouth shut. He said that you can ruin a company with something like that. Howard said you just keep your mouth shut.
Robin read a story about what some schools are doing about bullying and how some studies were done to figure out what the best way to do it is. Howard said you can't stop it. He said you hope the parents know how to raise the kids so they're not turns. Robin said they can't rely on that.
Robin read about how the Army is getting some concern about their new grooming suggestions. They don't want twists or dread locks on anyone. Robin said that they've had the rule since 2005 but some people think that it's racially biased. Howard said they can't have anything different. Howard said it's not about individualism in the army. Howard said everyone is the same. He said they don't want any vanity or any of that nonsense. Howard said they don't want you thinking about your appearance.
Robin read a story about a man who had a chain saw blade embedded in his neck. Robin said the saw cut several inches into his shoulder and neck. Robin said a coworker rushed up the tree to get him down. Robin said they left the blade in so he wouldn't bleed to death. Robin said the man is expected to make a full recovery. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about how lawmakers in Mississippi are going to expected to stop long term abortions. Howard said everyone is going to end up being intimidated if they keep this up. Howard said you won't be able to get an abortion. Howard said he would like to know what's going on. Howard said they had the law of the land and then these nudnicks took over. Howard said they want more people who won't have anyone to take care of them. Howard said it's upsetting.
Robin read a story about Osama bin Laden's son in law's case and how he was found guilty last week. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that case.
Robin read about the home of Jeffrey Dahmer is up for sale. Robin said that the house could be yours for under $300,000. Robin had a clip of someone talking about how some people don't care that he lived there. Robin said Dahmer killed his first victim there. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how the first anniversary of the Boston bombing is coming up soon. Robin said that President Obama made a speech about that. She had some audio of that speech. Robin had some audio of him talking about the Healthcare.gov sign ups and how that's going.
Robin read a story about a musical about Kurt Cobain. Howard asked if it would be the music of Nirvana. Robin said she would think so. Howard said he thinks of a really sad story about him. Howard said the ending would be kind of sad. Howard said it might be kind of like Rent. Robin said Courtney Love is thinking of doing this play. She has to find the right writers and producers for the play.
Robin said that KISS feels dissed about being inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Robin said that only Gene and Paul are being inducted. Robin said they think that there have been too many lineup changes. Robin said Paul Stanley has said that they are the ones who say who should be inducted.
Robin said the Moody Blues are doing a fan cruise. Howard said that's a sad ending. Robin said they say that it's a little sad being stuck on a boat with people who think you're much more than you are. Robin said they feel embarrassed by the way some people think of them. Howard said he can't imagine being stuck on a cruise with the Moody Blues. Howard said he imagines a lot of people jumping overboard. Howard said he read that Roger Daltrey is on the cruise too. Fred said he is. Robin said so is Carl Palmer. Howard said he can't believe that. Howard sang some of Emerson Lake and Palmer's song ''Lucky Man'' and then Fred played it. Howard let a fart rip during the song. Howard wondered if they were in the hall of fame. Gary told him they're not. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the head of GM going up to Capitol Hill today to talk about their big recall. Robin said that yesterday they had someone tell a joke that fell flat. Robin had a clip of the guy saying his flight was delayed because they had a problem. He joked that it was probably an ignition switch. Robin said he had to apologize for that later.
Robin read a story about the head of the secret service talking about how they're not going to put up with the behavior that some of their agents have shown lately. Robin said they had some issues with some agents in Denmark recently.
Robin said the official death told in the mud slide in Washington State is now at 28. Robin said they are still digging through the debris to find victims. Robin said that the remains of 22 victims have been positively identified.
Robin read about this girl who was suing her parents for support and she has now withdrawn that and has won a scholarship to a school. Robin said now she doesn't need their support. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:20am.
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Jon asked if there are people who don't like to participate in bits. Scott said JD is hard to get into them but he'll do them. He said he just doesn't like doing them at first. Jon asked why that is. Scott said it's because he's being made fun of. Jon asked who gets into the bits. Scott said Ronnie does. He said he really gets into some of them.
Jon said speaking of Ronnie it was revealed today that he has a TV deal with Howie Mandel. Jon said he thinks it's the prefect thing for him to do. Scott said he's seen Ronnie in action and he knows what to do. He said now he can go right to the manager and the girls and tell them exactly what he thinks. Jon asked what he's seen Ronnie do before. Scott said he's seen Ronnie tell the girls about doing things the wrong way and how to fix it.
Jon asked Scott if he's jealous. Scott said he's not. Jon said he would be. Scott said he gets to do other things like April fools jokes. Scott said he gets to bowl and Ronnie gets to do a TV show. Scott said he's really not jealous.
Jon said Nick was talking about the DJ business and Gary's son has gotten into that a little bit. Gary said he was trying to explain it to Howard. He said it's not as easy as you think it is. He said his son puts a lot more work into it than you'd think.
Jon asked Scott what it was like back in the day when he was doing it. Gary said it's totally different today than it was back then. Scott said they only play a part of the song and it's not more than a minute or so.
Jon asked Scott about his DJ'ing and what he had to do back then. Scott said he had to be a bit of an emcee. He said that you have to get people to stand up and dance and things like that. Scott said it can be very frustrating. Jon asked what you do when it's not working. Scott said you just do what you do and hope it works. He said you play music hoping people will dance. Scott said if you can't get them to dance they'll say you suck.
Jon asked Scott if he had certain songs he'd play to get them up. Scott said he did. He said he had a few songs he'd try.
Gary said he only saw Scott do his full DJ thing once and that was at Mike Gange's graduation party. He said Scott is what they call a mobile DJ. He said to his son that's a dirty word. He said his son doesn't host or emcee. He said that he's doing something different. Scott said he did it all back when he was doing it. Jon asked if he could do what Nick does now. Scott said he's not sure what Nick even does. He said he might be able to do it but he's not that into it.
Gary said he was at a party and the DJ was maybe 10 years younger than he is and he seemed way too old. Scott said he's done some events where he just plays the music and someone else hosts it.
Gary said that Paris Hilton claimed she was one of the top 5 DJs in the world. He said he can't believe she has the brain to put more than a couple of songs together. Jon said she's going to be a big draw though. Gary said that's more of a paid appearance though.
Benjy said that he thinks that with DJ'ing it's not that had to get to the level that everyone is great at it. Gary said he disagrees. He said he thinks that Paris hits some buttons and that's it. He said someone probably put her stuff together for her. Benjy said he's not sure how hard it is to feel the audience.
Jon asked Gary if he is a stage dad now. Gary said his son has an offer to do something really big and he's letting him handle it himself. He said he's trying not to be a stage dad. Gary said he has a good way of looking at it. He said his son doesn't play sports anymore. He said Lucas can do this all he wants as long as his grades are good. He said he's gotten to play a club there in the city a few times and he's helped him out a few times with things he's doing. Jon said Lucas is good at what he does. Scott said he believes it.
Benjy asked if Lucas talks to the crowd at all. Gary said he doesn't want to do that. Gary said his son opened up for a couple of guys and he watched him doing his thing. He said there's a lot of flair that the DJs do to get the people going. Gary said he saw his son with his hands in the air and he didn't even recognize him that night.
Jon asked Scott how he feels when he hears about the DJ business. Scott said he has no interest. He said he is too old for it too. Jon asked why he saved the equipment. Scott said he still has it and he's not sure. He said he has the stuff in his closet. He said he has the speakers, amps, cases and CDs. He said he lost his turntables to K-Rock somehow.
Scott said he never even liked doing what he did. He said it was a pain in the ass and he was just trying to make a few extra bucks. Scott said he hated it toward the end. He said it was just enough by then. Jon said that's the last thing you want from a DJ. Scott said he did the best he could back then though. He said even though he wanted it over he did the best job he could. They went to break a short time later.
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Ronnie said they went to a club when Howard was running for governor. He said that they went into this strip club that was like an old western bar. He said it was pretty bad. Ronnie said that Rick's just opened a new club in the city and that's what they should be looking at. He said it's called Vivid and it's a really nice club.
Benjy said he doesn't love the premise as Ronnie fixing it. He said the whole show could be a prank show on Ronnie. Jon said that's not that far fetched. Ronnie said he doesn't know but he got the call from Howie's road manager, Rich, and he told him they wanted to have a meeting with him. He said he laughed and said ''sure they do.'' Benjy said he thinks that what they do with Ronnie will be pranks and it'll be good.
Gary said he was in Tampa once and Ronnie was there telling the girls what to do. He said that it worked and his opinions seem to carry some weight. Gary asked Ronnie if he has ever been responsible for someone's firing. Ronnie said he has. He said he got a girl fired because of her attitude. Ronnie said he doesn't like girls who try to fleece you. He said that she'll charge you for 10 dances after just a couple of songs. He said that's like robbing you.
Jon asked how the conversation went with Howard. Ronnie said he got the call from Howie and his people. He said that Howie had already spoken to Howard about it. He said he didn't want to do something stupid and go behind his back. Ronnie said he asked Howard on Monday morning and Howard was fine with it. Jon asked if he's surprised Howard doesn't want to be involved with it. Ronnie said Howard has his own stuff going on so he doesn't want him to be bothered with that.
Benjy said he thinks that Howard told Howie to go for it and do his own thing. He didn't want Howie giving him a writing credit or whatever.
Gary asked Jon if he wishes his VH1 show got the play that Benjy's Sharknado bit is getting. Jon said he wishes Howard had picked up on it.
Benjy said Scott always mentions that he's in Sharknado. Scott said he asks for his autograph. Ronnie said he started doing that with him this morning. He said ''Oh, big star in the room'' when he came in after Howie mentioned the TV deal. Ronnie said he has something that Scott is upset about. He said Scott used to work with DJ Hollywood but then it became Ronnie and Scott and Scott was just standing there. He said that he thinks it bothered Scott and he can't blame him. Scott said that he brought Ronnie in and he was kind of upset that he brought him in.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks Scott could do what he does. Ronnie said no. He said Scott couldn't do it at the block party. Scott said he's been hosting stuff for 30 years. Ronnie said he's only kidding. Gary said he is not.
Scott said he would hope that Ronnie would return the favor of bringing him into the DJ Hollywood thing and get him some work in the future. They spent a minute talking about that and then went to break.
Jon said that Howie told that story about his dad getting cancer and how he didn't want the doctor to tell his dad. He asked the guys if they would want to be told. Gary said he was in the room with his dad when they told him. He said that his brother who had AIDS told him and his brother about a year before he told their parents. Gary said he can understand why they'd hold back.
Jon asked Scot if he'd want to know. Scott said he would because he might be able to do something and get help or just do something he wanted to do.
Jon asked Benjy how he feels. Benjy said that he would want to know and fight the hell out of it. He said he wants to be kept alive on machines forever. Gary asked why. He said his brother was so ravaged that even if they found a cure it wouldn't have helped. Benjy said he wants to cling on to life. He said he wants to stay on machines.
Gary said Benjy is thinking about himself. He said it could take a toll on his family. He said that's part of the decision. Benjy said he has thought about it and after 6 months his family should move on. Gary said they can't because he's not dead yet.
Jon asked Ronnie if he would want to know if he was terminal. Ronnie said he might want to know so he can go out and go really crazy. Ronnie said he had to pull the plug on his mother and that was not fun. He said she had a stroke and he found her in the house unconscious. He said that he found her and paramedics came and took her to the hospital. He said they put her on a ventilator and after a week they said nothing was going to happen. He said it all fell on him and they had to pull the plug. He said it all happened in about 20 minutes and she was gone.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Ronnie what Howard thinks about him doing this show. Ronnie said he's doing the show around their schedule there. He said it will never affect his schedule with Howard and AGT. He said it would probably happen during vacations.
Gary asked Ronnie how much work there is for him when Howard is off. Ronnie said he used to drive all the time but now he has some guys working for him. He said Howard trusts them and they fill in for him if he doesn't want to work.
Benjy said he doesn't get why callers do that to Ronnie. He said he's not sure if he really cares about that. Gary said he did have that attitude but he had the same thought about how Ronnie will balance all of this.
Jon asked if he likes having his name in the title. Ronnie said he does. He said he's just happy to have the opportunity. Benjy asked how it will turn into money. Ronnie said he knows how much he's getting for each episode if it goes through. Jon said it depends on where they sell the show. Ronnie said it's all written out in the contract. Benjy asked if it's more than 30,000 per season. Ronnie said it's more than that.
Jon asked Jon Leiberman if he had anything to add. Leiberman said he's happy that Ronnie is getting to do this show. He said there isn't anyone better than Ronnie to do that type of show. Leiberman ran through a list of stories they had coming up today in the Howard 100 News. The guys all got in their plugs and ended the show around 11:15am
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Jon was about to start the show but Sal Governale was sitting in and started to sing a Billy Joel song as Elvis. Jon let him go for a few seconds but eventually cut his microphone off.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Sal and Richard and how close they are. Jon said Sal says he's happy at home but he thinks that if he was on a boat and it was sinking he'd save Richard over his wife. Sal didn't answer. Gary said he thinks that he's happier when he's with Richard than when he's with his wife. Sal said his wife is repulsed when his cock smells like cheese but Richard would high five him. Sal said that's the difference. He said he's a guy friend. Jon said he doesn't believe him when he says that's only happened once when he smelled the cheese. Sal said he did have Richard take a whiff a few days before he did it. Sal said he asked him to do it and he agreed to it. He said he took a whiff and he was about 3 inches from it. He said that was prepping for a bit though. He said he warmed up his dick for Richard.
Gary said he's pretty sure Sal could have smelled it himself. Sal said that sometimes when you smell the same smell all the time you become desensitized to it.
Jon asked if he can do no wrong in Richard's eyes and do wrong at home. Sal said it's a buddy thing. He said he relates to things they do. Benjy said that Jon and Gary are a show couple too but the arguments they'd have at home aren't the same as they'd have there. Gary said when you raise kids together and sleep together it's going to be different. Benjy said it's not shocking to him that Sal and Richard don't have those tensions. Gary said he's just shocked at how much happier Sal is there at work.
Benjy wondered if they gave Sal a lie detector test if he'd test higher with Richard if he was asked who he loves more. Sal said he loves them both but in different ways. Sal said he thinks that if he was on that sinking boat Richard would jump off before he had to make that choice. Sal said he might jump himself too. Gary said that's not the rules. Sal said he knows the movie ''Sophie's Choice.'' He said she has to chuck one off a boat. Gary said that's not it. Gary explained to him that it was about a woman going to a concentration camp and she had to pick one of her two to save.
Jon asked Sal who he would save. Sal tried to turn it around on Jon. Jon asked Sal to answer first. He said he is asking him about his wife and Richard. Sal said they'd both die and he'd kill himself and they'll all reunite in heaven. Gary asked what happens when you die and there is no heaven. Sal said he took a shot and shit happens.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal and Richard have a ball together and there isn't a problem with his relationship they have. He said they go to extremes but he thinks that Gary is jealous of it. Gary said he is not jealous of their relationship at all. He said he has friends who are close but Sal and Richard go overboard.
Benjy asked who loves the other more, Sal or Richard. Gary said he thinks Sal loves Richard more. Sal said he thinks Richard loves him more. Jon said he thinks that Richard loves Sal more. Benjy said he agrees. He said he thinks that his love for Sal is more pure. Sal said he would disagree. He said he doesn't love him more but they love each other equally.
Richard came in and said that it's a groovy kind of love. Richard said you can't measure love. Jon told Richard that Sal wouldn't save either Richard or his wife. Richard said he'd rather be thrown off the boat. Jon asked who he would pick over Sal or his wife Kristi. Richard said he'd jump off. He said he might have to throw Sal off the boat. He said he wouldn't do that but they made him choose. Gary said that's why it's called Sophie's Choice.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks there is some sexual tension between the two of them. Sal and Richard said there is no tension there. They said that is long gone.
Benjy said that he'd like to know if they were turned on to each other if they saw naked pictures of them. Gary said they do have a machine that can check you. Gary said they wrap something around your penis and if you get an erection then it shows on the machine. Richard said that Gary has a machine that he can check with and that's his hand. He said he can feel him for a boner when he sees Sal naked.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Jon and Gary wish they had a relationship like Sal and Richard have. He said he thinks it's really cool himself. Jon asked if he means with someone else or between him and Gary. The caller said he meant with anyone in their life. Gary said he had a best friend growing up and they were like that. Benjy asked how he smelled. Gary said they used to go camping and things but he never cuddled or anything weird. Sal said they've never cuddled either. He said they have shared a bed. He said it was in a full sized bed. Gary said that's not that big. They said they've never had any contact in situations like that.
Sal said he and Richard are constantly in a positive mood. He said that's what their job is so when they're together it's always fun and positive. He said he thinks that's what they walk away with every day. He said it's not like being at home and having your wife yelling at you to take out the garbage and things like that.
Jon asked Benjy if he's close to anyone there. Benjy said he thinks that Richard, Sal and Will are the guys he'll talk to about things. He said that he feels close to Sal and Richard in different ways. He said he likes talking to both of them. Gary said now he feels jealous. Richard said Benjy makes him laugh and he cracks him up in a different way.
Gary asked if Sal and Richard were split up would they be able to work with other people and go back. Sal and Richard said they do. Sal said he works with Mike Fox separately. He said that he has worked with Benjy and Richard has worked with other people too.
Jon asked Sal why he doesn't watch gay porn with Richard and JD. Sal said he just can't watch that stuff. He said that it's too much. Richard said he and JD look at each other and laugh while they're watching that stuff. Sal said he doesn't need to see two guys fucking to pull clips. He said it's for radio so he can just listen to it. Richard said it's just funny. He said he can't explain it.
Gary said he loves the audio of the guy who is getting whipped and he says ''Ohhh!'' when he's hit. Richard said that one is called ''Marine Bondage.'' He said everyone always asks where that one came from.
Richard said that JD used to share a studio with Steve the Engineer who played Wood Yi. He said that they'd ask him to pull the audio of gay porn and Steve would shake his head the whole time he was pulling that audio. Sal said he loves Steve. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Benjy asked who likes who better. Jon said he thinks that they have mutual affection for each other. Benjy said he thinks that Gary likes Jon better.
Gary said he and Jon had dinner together before he was on the show. He said that he liked him when he came on as a guest and they had dinner with their wives. Benjy said he thinks that Jon and Gary are like the Marilyn of the Munsters of the show. Sal said he thinks they're just the opposite.
Jon said when he was in as a guest Gary produced the segment and they had common interests. He said they just hit it off. Jon said he thinks that everyone there is very welcoming when you come in. He said he didn't know what to expect when he started there. He said if Howard endorses you then everyone likes you.
Jon asked Sal and Richard about when they came in if they thought they were welcomed with open arms. They both said yes.
Gary said he thinks it's different for Richard and Sal. He said that Sal was the ball breaker of the two and Richard only broke KC's balls. Gary asked Sal if he felt he belonged. Sal said he felt totally like he belonged. He said he had done other things on the show but he gelled with everyone when he got there. He said everyone but Tom Chiusano. Richard said he agrees with him on that. He said that he'd hear them doing a bit and he'd ask why they had to go that route. Sal said he felt like Tom was the principal there. Gary said he felt that way about him there for a long time. Sal said Tom could get really mad about things.
Jon asked Gary how he felt about Sal coming in. Gary said he and Sal had talked before he got there. He said he had to be fair to everyone so he couldn't be a dick to Sal. He said he may have over compensated about that. He said that Sal came in and he thought that this wasn't the guy he thought he was. Jon said he remembers that week and Sal was fantastic. He said he didn't bash Gary at all and he tried not to. Sal said Stuttering John told him he was pushing for him and he thought he was going to be in it. He said John asked him to do strictly Gary stuff. Sal said this was his opportunity to do other things. He said John insisted he only do Gary stuff but he had to take the chance and not do strictly Gary.
Sal said he had no idea how much power John had. He said he told him okay but he got there and shifted gears slowly and did other things than Gary stuff. Gary asked what he did. Sal said he did his Uncle Pauly stuff and some Gary material. Richard said he did a pin the toothbrush on the horse tooth jackass. Sal forgot he did that in that week. Sal said he did an interview with Beth too.
Gary said Sal's best appearance was when he did the lighting of the Teeth. He said it was the worst disaster ever. He said he was having so many problems. Sal said he was promoting it all week and he came in and it was a piece of oak tag with Christmas lights in it. Sal said that it was a disaster.
Jon said Richard had a great week that week in the contest too. Richard said he did a lot of KC stuff. He said he was known for that. Richard said his celebrity interview was with the guy who did make up for KC's poster. He said he had some funny stories to tell. Sal said last week they played Richard's week on Howard 101. He said he heard a montage of the songs that Richard contributed and he was peeing his pants hearing them. He said they were really funny.
Gary said he remembers the vote being Sal and Richard and non one else. Sal said Richard beat him by 6 percent. Yucko came in third according to Richard. Richard said Yucko said he looked like a Sweaty Ham or something like that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he didn't know Uncle Pauly was gone. He said he's sorry to hear that. The caller said he's a giant fan of Sal and Richard's. He said he thinks Gary sees himself with Jon like Sal and Richard are. He said he might scare himself. Gary said maybe he's getting too close to him.
The guys talked about some of the tings they've done together like dinners and things like that. Gary said he would like to do something with the guys at his house this summer but he's not sure how that would work out. He said he has had Stuttering John at his house and he ended up telling Howard about all of the things he saw there. Gary said he did an interview with Sound and Vision Magazine and Will went through the article and showed it to Howard. He said that he figured out that Will was the one who showed it to him. He said he didn't get upset about it though. Gary said Howard ended up goofing on him about the bar stools he had in his TV room. He said that he still doesn't understand why he made such a big deal about it. Gary said people still come up to him and ask how his stools are. Gary said Howard said he was an idiot for having stools in that room. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked how many guys at work were aware that he was making those prank calls. Sal said they all knew. He said his boss loved it too. He said in 1996 his boss told him to make sure to plug him. Sal said that guy happens to be the guy in the Wolf of Wall Street who was the Asian guy. Sal said he did give him a plug that day too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has never heard that joke that Sal was just talking about. Gary said he doesn't remember doing that. The caller said it was great. He said he remembers hearing it the first time.
Sal said when Gary called him that day he tried to be in the professional mode and then Gary just kicked him in the face. Sal said then they did the contest. He said he knew Richard got the call and got the job. Jon asked if he was upset that he had just missed that job. Sal said he was happy that he did so well on the show. He said he was really proud of himself. Sal said that made him feel really good. Sal said he went back to work and he texted Artie about roasting Donald Trump. He said he wrote some jokes for Artie at the investment seminar he was at. He said he was consumed with the show. He said he brought some stuff up to the show and Gary told him that the doors were always open to him. Then a week later he got the call from Gary saying that it wasn't a joke and they wanted to give him a month to work there. Sal said he was in the board room and this time he didn't stand up and brag. He said he wasn't sure if they were joking. He said he went in and did a month and then Gary said Howard wanted to give him 3 more months.
Jon asked what Sal did with his job. Sal said he would work until 11:30 and then go to his other job. He said he had a partner helping him out with his clients. He said he had to give up about 25 percent of his business to do that. Sal said he wanted to give up that job but he wanted more time at the show. Gary told him that it was going to be worth it so he went home and told his wife he was quitting. He said his wife was all for it too.
Gary said it is an amazing story. He said he couldn't understand why Sal was leaving the money behind. It wasn't as much as it was at one time. He said Sal is doing what he loves doing now though. Benjy told him that it's been a 9 year prank.
Gary said he sent a note to a guy he wasn't in touch with for years abut he reached out to him after the birthday show. He said the guy wrote back saying he was upset he wasn't invited. Gary said he never responded back.
Jon said Anderson Cooper is making news. Benjy said it's every day too. He mentioned that he's not getting any inheritance. Gary said that seems to be news. He said he could have said he didn't know and left it at that. Jon said it's hard in those situations. He said Anderson doesn't seem like that kind of guy who would struggle with that. Gary said he clearly worked and had the drive to do what he did. He said he has made his own money and he must be happy with that.
Benjy said maybe this is about him proving himself. Gary said a lot of people have a safety net and they don't do anything with it. Sal said he knows a lot of people who don't have a safety net and they don't even do anything. Gary said he sits next to one. Gary asked if Richard would let Sal and his family live with him if he went broke. Richard said sure he would. He said he'd have to share a room with his guinea pig though.
Jon said he thinks a lot of people there would open their doors to him. Not Howard though. Gary said Howard would get him a hotel room or something. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:15am.
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