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Howard started the show talking about the song that Fred opened the show with. Howard said Jack Bruce died. He was a member of Cream and he went on to work with Leslie West. Howard said he had a few words about that. Howard said Ginger Baker actually out lived him. Howard said that Leslie is still around too. Howard said Jack was 71 and Leslie is 69. Howard said thank god Leslie is still around. Howard said he was writing him yesterday. He said that he cried when Cream broke up. He said he thought they were so terrific together. Howard said Jack wrote a bunch of their songs. Howard said he thinks that he wrote ''Sunshine of Your Love.'' Howard said he wrote a bunch of others as well. Howard and Fred talked about some of those songs and how they came about.
Howard said he was a great artist. He said he wrote ''Theme for an Imaginary Western'' and that's one of his favorites. Howard said he also wrote ''White Room.'' Howard said he wrote a bunch of those great songs. Howard said he died at 71 and he had a liver transplant. Fred said he thinks the first liver he got didn't work. He said his body rejected that one. Then they did another one and that had complications that led to his death.
Howard had Fred play ''White Room'' and let that play for a short time. Howard said Cream was a power trio. He said it's amazing the music that those guys put out. Howard said it was just 3 guys. Howard said he didn't go to the Cream reunion but it was critically praised when they did it over in England. Howard said Jack was done though. He said that's why the son was playing with Leslie.
Howard said they were over in England and he was interviewing Jack and he started to play something. Howard said they got Leslie on the phone and Leslie was able to follow Jack along even though he couldn't hear a thing over the phone. He said Leslie told him that was one of his favorite moments ever playing over the phone like that.
Howard said Jack wrote ''Sunshine of Your Love'' too. Howard had Fred play some of that too. Howard said Leslie can probably tell some of this better. He said he heard that he could play chords on the bass and that's unusual. Fred said that's right. He also said that he got a scholarship to a school and they found out he played Jazz and they told him he could leave or stop doing that and he left the school.
Howard had Fred play some of ''Schwalber'' and then took a call from a guy who said that there was a great documentary about the band. Howard said that he loves the band but watching Ginger Baker's deterioration is so depressing. Howard said it's difficult to watch. Howard said he didn't get all the way through it. The caller said that he's such a unique individual. Howard said he is and he's very disturbed. Howard said he was handed so many great gifts and he just let them go away. Howard cut the caller off and said he really had to go. He said he doesn't live his whole life thinking about Cream. Howard said when they broke up he was upset though.
Howard said the person who does Beth's hair, Erin, said she wanted to be an investigative journalist. She went to every store in the area and asked to see video surveillance. She saw a guy on one video of the guy swooping in and grabbing the phone as soon as it fell on the ground. Howard said that it was like he was just waiting for it to happen. Howard said the guy swoops down in seconds and grabs it. Howard said they called the police and in most instances you don't get your phone back.
Howard said they have that thing on their phone ''Find your phone.'' Howard said this guy didn't turn the phone on so he must have known. Howard said he was probably going to sell it. Howard said then someone is going to buy it and he'll get stuck with a phone that was shut down. Howard said they called the police and this officer was so great. Howard said this guy said since they had the tape he wanted to take a look at it. He was going to walk around the neighborhood asking if anyone has seen this guy. Howard said the cop figured the guy lived around there. He said he walks into a store and they knew the guy who works there in the store. Howard said the cop went over and asked what's going on and the guy confessed and he gave over the phone and got arrested. Howard said that's so great. He said most of these guys get away with that kind of theft.
Howard said it's so great when someone gets caught. Robin said it really is. She said they always canvass stores for security footage. Howard said that they were on it and that's a great police force. Howard said that's what the guy did and they caught the guy.
Howard said the phone was sitting there. Howard said he's not sure the cop wants his name given but it made him feel good. Howard said there should be some karma for these fucks.
Howard said he really enjoyed Boardwalk Empire this weekend. He said it was the series finale. Robin said she was disturbed by every episode this season. Howard said he thought it was great. Robin said she felt for all of the characters.
Howard said he saw a movie called ''Fox Catcher'' this weekend. He said that it's about John DuPont and he decided to take on wrestlers and train them. Howard said he had a training facility on his estate and he wanted to support these Olympians in this country. Howard said that it's a great story. He said he was watching the movie and the guy playing DuPont was so fantastic. Howard said so was the guy who played the wrestler. Howard said he has seen him in a movie before but he can't remember his name. Howard said it's Channing Tatum. Howard said he doesn't think he's had a serious role before. Robin said he has. Howard said he's great in the movie. Howard said Steve Carell was in it too and he's really good in it. He said that he recommends that movie. Howard said there's a lot of good TV and movies out.
Howard said he's reading about this Ebola thing and this woman came back from Liberia after helping out with the Ebola thing. Howard said she came into the country and they took her aside and she had a temperature of 101. Howard said Governor Christie put her in quarantine. Howard said he's getting criticized over this by this woman. Howard said there are people who are going around with Ebola and bowling and doing things like that. Howard said that's what one doctor was doing. Howard said we can't blame Governor Christie over this. Howard said they are completely clueless what to do. He Howard said they have no idea what to do. He said there are no protocols and they have no idea how to deal with this. Howard said they have double speak. He said they say you can't get it but then they say you can get it. Howard said no one is being straight with the American public over this. Howard said he applauds Governor Christie over this. He said he tried to do something.
Robin said they say that it's the way she was being kept that they're upset about. Howard said he knows it wasn't a great situation but they're trying to do something. Howard said they don't know what to do. Robin said they still have to treat them like human beings. Robin said Howard would die if he had just a room and a toilet.
Howard said they say don't touch anyone else's feces and blood. Howard said he was just getting into the worship of feces and blood so it's going to be hard. Howard said it's still better than JD's apartment. Howard said you can't trust the CDC. They said the air was safe down at ground zero after 9/11. Howard said you just don't know anymore. Howard said no one knows what's going on.
Robin said on 60 Minutes last night they had some of the nurses on who took care of the guy who died of Ebola. Robin said they all volunteered to take care of that guy. Robin said no one had the right information on how to treat that man. Robin said they had a huge volume of trash coming out of his room. Robin said the guy was vomiting and he had such huge diarrhea that they had a ton of trash. Robin said the volume of fluids your body is putting out is outrageous. Robin said they volunteered to take care of that guy and only two people became infected. Robin said one man told a story about how quickly the guy died. Robin said it was a matter of 15 minutes. Robin said the guy held him in his arms. He was all alone because he wasn't allowed to have visitors. Robin said each and every one of them is a hero.
Howard said he has a clip of a guy talking about how to avoid this Ebola. He was telling people not to eat any feces on the street. That was from NY One. Howard had a clip of Pat Robertson talking about that as well.
Howard said he has to quarantine Benjy over there. He doesn't want any contact with anyone. Howard said he's not going to fist bump or anything any more. Robin said she saw Howie Mandel talking about how much he loves this because everyone is like him now.
Howard took a call from a woman who asked why people don't just stay home after they are exposed to Ebola. Howard said he thinks that they should do 3 weeks of quarantine. Howard said it should be part of the process. Robin said this woman was taken away and wasn't allowed to go home. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
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Howard said at least Aaron sounded good while he was doing it. Howard said Christina did too. Howard said the lyrics are very hard to follow though.
Howard got to the top 5 songs since people have been asking to hear what they are. Howard said that Tove Lo was at number 5. Number 4 was Iggy Azalea, number 3 was Jessie J, number 2 was Taylor Swift and number 1 was Meghan Trainor. Howard played some of the songs and he had High Pitch Eric singing some of them. Howard said all 5 of the top songs are by women. He said that times are changing.
Howard said he was reading about Ebola and they had some facts in the NY Times. Howard said they say more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola. Howard said that she's been married 3 times and only one person has died from it in America.
Howard had some audio of President Obama speaking about Ebola. It was a phony clip of an Obama impersonator talking about it. He also played a song parody about Ebola from Psych. Howard said they're not all about Robin. He said most of them are but not all.
Howard said that the Ebola songs may take over for the Robin songs. Howard said he actually has 3 whole pages of Robin songs that he has never played. Howard said he'll give Robin a taste if she likes. Howard played one from Zachary Mecier. Howard said he loves this guy. That song was ''rear Entrance'' to the tune of ''Dear Prudence.''
Howard said he was reading about how the World Series only had 12 million viewers. Howard said World Cup Soccer was getting like 25 million. Robin said they're changing football around a lot too. Howard said if those guys would just hit each other and give each other concussions then they'd have some viewers. Howard said he's not sure how anyone watches that stuff.
Robin said they say there's a baseball player who looks just like John Stamos. Robin said she was interested when she heard that.
Howard played some more songs about Robin. He had one about her breaking her toe. Howard said that's how old these songs are. Howard played another one about Robin's cans. Howard said there are a million of them.
Howard said Beth taped a show for the Hallmark channel. He said she was working with 90 kittens and they're all available for adoption at North Shore. Howard said you can go there and find out how to adopt them. Howard said that they're all there and they're all TV stars.
Howard said that it's an epidemic out there. He said they don't spay and neuter. Howard said they are great pets though. He said Robin knows that because she has a few.
Howard said that there was a headline about how Barry Levinson was going to be directing J-Lo in a FBI drama. Howard said he thought that was wrong. Howard said maybe Barry knows something he doesn't know. Howard said there's no way that can be a hit. He said he can't see how it can be. Robin said Jennifer Lopez has a huge following. Howard said we'll see. Robin said maybe they're testing that group. Howard said if her ass is involved in the show maybe it'll help get her out of something.
Howard said Howie Mandel was in there and they were talking about Mel B and things on the set aren't always smooth. Howard said they have a new promo for next season of America's Got Talent. He played a bit they put together using clips from last week's Howie Mandel interview where they were cursing each other out.
Howard said Jay Leno was interviewed on Access Hollywood. Howard said they were talking about Jay and Joan Rivers last week. Howard said Jay claimed he was respecting Johnny by not having her on. Howard said he went back and listened to that interview that Jay did with Billy Bush. Howard played some clips of a Jay Leno impersonator saying outrageous things. Howard said he can't stand Jay.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he could get one of Howard's paintings as a birthday gift. Howard said no. The caller laughed and thanked him anyway.
Howard said he had some friends over on Saturday night. Howard said they were asking about his paintings and he doesn't want to make a joke out of it. He said it's a wholesome thing that he likes to do. He said he likes learning to use different materials and things. Howard said if he makes a joke out if it then it'll ruin it. Howard said he doesn't want people criticizing him. He said he's walking a fine line with this shit anyway. He said he can get easily discouraged. He said he doesn't want to hear about it if they're not good. Howard said people can say horrible things. He said he doesn't want people ripping him a new asshole over his art. Howard said that's why he won't show it publicly. Howard said that he showed Robin a painting. Robin didn't rip him apart too much. Howard said if he paints something good that Robin would like he doesn't think he'd want to give it up. He said he'd want to show it to people.
Robin said if Howard keeps it up he'll have so much work that he'll have to get rid of something. Howard said maybe he will.
Howard said that the Queen of England got on Twitter. He said that Anthony Weiner was on Twitter and favorited a picture he liked. Howard said that it was something sexual. Howard said that you don't have to like things like that. He said you just jerk off and move on. Howard wondered if Weiner and JD have been in the same web cam girl chats. Howard said just imagine what that conversation would be like.
Robin asked what is wrong with Weiner's wife. Howard said that some women can hang in there. Robin asked why she's hanging in there. Howard said he's very sexy.
Howard said he thinks that it should look classy there in the building. Howard said they don't have a lot of kids in the building. He said he's not sure who is doing it. He said the doorman tells him it's not his call. Howard said he has to find out who is doing this stuff. Howard said he does give kids candy and all of that but come on. Howard said if his parents came over, not that they do, but if someone came over he'd be fine with a little Halloween something would be fine. He said they have 10,000 things hanging like a haunted house. Howard said it's so ugly. Howard said Richard loves Halloween and he must be semi-retarded. Howard said he doesn't believe the IQ test scores he got. Howard said there's no way he has a high IQ. Howard said he flew to Florida to go to a haunted house. Robin said he gets on planes which he doesn't like just to go visit them.
Howard said Richard decorated his house with Halloween stuff in August. Richard came in and said he went to Universal Studios to do a Halloween thing. Howard asked if there's anything in the area that he could go to. Richard said there isn't anything. He said they have haunted houses and stuff down there. He said it's fun stuff.
Howard asked why he decorated his house in August. Richard said his wife doesn't like it but he likes feeling like a kid. Howard said he thought his wife bought into all of that shit. Richard said she does usually but she almost fell over a pumpkin the other day and she got really mad. Howard said he hates the whole thing.
Howard said that he pays a ton of money in common fees in his apartment building. He said the shit they have hanging up is probably $100 worth of shit. He said he doesn't decorate his apartment with that shit. He said he doesn't enjoy that shit. He said that he's not a fucking 4 year old. Howard said he can't believe he has to explain this stuff to Richard.
Richard said his acting like a 4 year old leads to the phone calls they make. Howard said he hasn't seen many lately. He told him to get out of there and go make some prank calls.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they heard about the kid who died of Ayahuasca and the Shamen hid his body. Howard said he did. Robin said there are all types of Shamen. Howard said there is no training for Shamen. Howard said they're guys without a job who are looking to get something going. Howard said when Robin went she took that stuff and she thinks that because she went to Peru that it wasn't a drug deal. He Howard said it was a drug dealer. Robin said he is not a drug dealer. Howard said it is. Howard said she threw the balance of her body off with that Ayahuasca. Howard said she threw her body out of whack with that stuff. Robin said she was always tired and she had cancer then. Howard said she's lucky to be alive. Howard said she was tired because she was on a plane every minute looking for answers. Howard said he always says that cancer is the body's way of saying no more Ayahuasca. Howard said that Robin isn't doing anymore of that nonsense now. Robin said he has no idea what she's up to. Howard said he knows what she's up to. Howard said he had to take another break after that.
Howard said he has audio of David Bowie singing ''Ziggy Stardust'' without the music. Howard said this is interesting to him. Howard played the audio and wondered what he was saying in the lyrics. He was confused by some of the lyrics. Fred didn't seem to know what they were either.
Howard said that was cool. Robin said she loves that. Robin said they get to see the painting before it's finished. Howard said he likes that. He said he's going to go with that. Robin said when you see great art you want to deconstruct it. Howard said Robin is terrific.
Howard said he has some audio of some announcers from Arizona State going nuts. Howard played the audio of the announcers going crazy over a touchdown. Howard said the only time guys should scream like that is when a woman shows her tits or you have sex with her. Howard played an example of what that would be like. They took that audio and had a guy announcing Robin showing her tits and then they freak out.
Howard said Meghan McCain was on the show a couple of weeks ago. He said she was on a show called Take Part Live and she said something about him. Howard played some audio of that. Meghan told them that Howard Stern is the long lost love of her life. She said that his fans are great too. She said she would marry Howard Stern and he's the only man dirtier than she is. Howard asked where she was when he was in high school. Howard remembered that she wasn't even born yet.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Beth had any photos on the phone that would have freaked him out. Howard said they aren't that crazy. He said they have photos they've tweeted but none of that on the phone. Howard said Beth didn't even lock her phone though. He said she's learned since then.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Robin is really fucked up. Howard asked why. The caller said that hearing Robin talking about the song makes her sound like she's on Ayahuasca. The guy was also wondering how Tracy Morgan is doing. Howard said he tries to get reports. He said he tried to contact Tracy but didn't hear anything back. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with the guy. He said he's such a great talent and he hopes he's okay. Howard said he hopes he's just relaxing and getting better.
Howard played the clip of Megyn's coughing fit. In the clip she was reading a news story and she started to cough while another person was talking. She said they had to take a break. Howard said she should have just gone home. Howard said he has no idea what the guy was saying. Howard said maybe they can't turn down the microphone.
Howard said he has great tape from a show about Hitler. Howard said the world's fascination with him never ends. Howard said this special revealed he had a gas problem and things like that. Howard said he's not sure if they're making it up or what. Howard said they say that he was taking injections of bull semen too. Howard played some of the audio from this special and they were talking about all of these weird things that were wrong with Hitler. He had chronic flatulence and he ate beans a lot. He had grey, mush bowel movements too. Howard said this guy was a mess.
Howard played another clip where they talked about a guy trying to help Hitler out with his belly by extracting bacteria out of human feces from German soldiers. Howard said some dude invented a doody pill. Howard said they convinced Hitler to take it. Howard said they were just fucking with him all the time.
Howard said they say Hitler had leaches on his temples too. Howard played audio of that explanation. The announcer said that Hitler didn't find the leaches all that unpleasant. In another clip they were talking about how they gave Hitler bull semen injections which was a way of trying to boost his testosterone.
Howard said they also shot him full of crystal meth trying to get him going for his meetings. Howard said just imagine that. Howard played some audio of that explanation.
Howard had Wendy the Slow Adult on the phone and she was doing her Freddy Kruger impression for him. Howard tried talking to her as Freddy and Wendy was doing the voice the whole time. Wendy said that she wanted to cut Richard and Sal in half. Howard said that this could be retarded Freddy Kruger for Howard 101. Howard said they could have Gary doing his show and Wendy doing one too. Howard said maybe they could have a retarded Freddy Kruger.
Wendy broke out of character and into her own voice. Howard asked who this was. Wendy said it was Wendy the Slow Adult. Howard said they were talking to Freddy. Wendy said she worked very hard on singing his song and she never heard it on the air. Howard said he'll go look for it. Howard let her go after that.
Howard said he got off the phone without her asking for more money. Howard said they just gave her $2500. Howard asked how much money she wants. Howard asked if they have to take a break. Fred said they should if they have a guest coming. Howard said he was going to take one more call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a haunted house for Richard to check out in San Diego. Howard hung up on him and asked how old he is. Howard said that he doesn't care. Robin said she should call Richard. Howard said Richard is like a 4 year old. Robin said there are people who don't want to grow up. Howard said he bets Amy Poehler hates Halloween. Howard said she's smart so she must hate it. They went to break and played Aaron Lewis covering ''This is Beetle'' as they went to break.
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Howard came back and said that Amy Poehler is there. Howard said that she wrote a book and she's also doing the 7th season of ''Parks and Recreation.'' He said her book is called ''Yes Please''
Howard said it's great to finally talk to her. Howard said he sees her at Jimmy Kimmel's parties and they never talk. Howard said he always wanted to talk to her and he never did. Howard said he always felt weird about that. Amy said she has social anxiety and she likes to go in and leave fast. Howard said he's in the same boat. Howard said he gets nervous and he has to get out. Howard said they end up freezing up. Amy said she just wants to go home. Amy said she thinks as she gets older she gets more anxiety around other people. Robin asked why she goes in the first place. Amy said it's because Howard is there. She said Jimmy knows how to throw a great party too.
Howard asked Amy if she feels she needs more time to herself now that she's a mom. Amy said she's not sure about the mom part but she thinks she's less interested in other people's energy. She said she doesn't like to go to rock shows or anything or even movies. Howard asked if she writes for Parks and Recreation. She said they have a bunch of writers. She said she writes one a year or so. Howard asked if the show was her idea. Amy said it was Mike Schur's idea.
Howard asked if she was scared of carrying a show like that. Amy said she was. She said she wasn't sure she wanted to go to work full time like that again either. She said they got kind of hammered in the beginning because they were compared to The Office. Howard said he saw Steve Carell in Fox Catcher and he was really good. Howard said he had no idea it was even Steve.
Howard asked Amy about going into the show thinking she had to just put everything into it. Amy said she was excited about playing one character at a time. She said she felt the character was somewhat written for her.
Howard asked Amy about being beaten out by Julia Louis Dreyfus every year in the Emmys. Amy jokingly said ''that bitch...'' Howard said that everyone he knows says that Amy deserves the award. Amy said it's almost like it's better losing. She said that everyone is telling you that you should have won the whole night. She said that if you win then they say that you didn't deserve it. Howard said that this is the 7th season for Parks and Recreation. Howard asked if she has a speech prepared for the Emmys. She said she does and she told Howard she will thank Howard and Baba Booey of course. Howard said everyone must prepare. Amy said that she thinks they do prepare. She said that they have 45 seconds to get to the point and it angers her when they don't. Robin said Amy knows because she hosts a lot.
Howard said that Amy has said she listens to the show. Amy said she is a huge fan. Howard said he heard that she did a Mariann from Brooklyn impression. Amy said that was Ike who said that. Amy did her impression of Mariann and she said she just saw a picture of her and she doesn't look like she sounds at all.
Howard said she does an impression of Tan Mom too. Howard said Amy says that the least interesting thing about her is her tanning now. Howard asked if she does that impression. Amy said she doesn't really do impressions. She said that she likes her attitude though. She did that impression and it was pretty close to the real Tan Mom. Howard said they have audio of her auditioning for The View and it's fantastic. Howard said he won't play that now though.
Howard asked Amy about how many kids she has. She said she has 2. Howard said this is the last season for Parks and Recreation. Amy said it's super sad. She said that they have done 125 episodes and everyone's contracts are up. She said they've had this great run without huge ratings. She said they're on the bubble every season. She said they wanted to be in control of the ending. Amy said they will get that with this season.
Howard asked if she has read the finale. Amy said they are writing it next week. Amy said she and Mike Schur will be doing that.
Howard said sometimes they make the mistake that they feel there has to be some fantastic moment and they get out of character. Amy said they will do scenes with people they've never seen before. She said the Cheers finale was great. She said that's what most people want. Amy said she hopes they nail it. She said it's hard though.
Howard said that Amy is very sexual in this book. Howard said she has sex tips in the book. Howard said Robin needs to know some of this stuff. Howard asked if she has to write something outrageous in a book because she knows sex sell. Amy said that she though it was a funny bit. She said she talks about her divorce in the book too. She said her husband was Will Arnett. She said that they're doing a good job with that. She said they were married for 10 years and that's not really a failure. She said it's tough to be married.
Howard asked if she lost friends when she got divorced. Amy said that it was weird to be single. She said she went to a wedding single and she remembers it being a drunken night. She said that someone came up to her and someone said she was hitting on her husband. She said she wasn't but that's what she thought. Amy said her whole world changed. Amy said it was new and weird. She said she hadn't dated when there was texting. She said she got married in 2003. She said now you text people. She said that it was all kind of weird. Amy said she thought she might be on a date but she wasn't sure at times.
Amy told Howard a story about going to dinner with John Stamos and he's a very good looking man. Howard asked where they were. She said they were at a restaurant. She said she thought it might be a date but she wasn't sure. Howard said it must have been if he asked her out. She said he did. Howard asked if she thought that she wasn't in his league or something. Amy said she did sort of. Amy said they worked on a movie together and a bunch of them hung out. She said that she was separated at the time. Howard asked if John asked her to go to his place. She said he didn't. Amy said that she was wearing a shirt from work on Parks and Recreation. She said that she thinks everything ended up the way it was supposed to end up. Howard said he's fascinated by this. Howard asked if she's worried that guys want to date her because she's Amy Poehler. She said she weeds that out pretty fast. She said she has a boyfriend now and she's with Nick Kroll. She said she doesn't really date guys she doesn't know. Howard asked if she's going to move in with him now. Amy told him to slow down.
Howard said that when he got divorced he had a 6 year old. He said it's tricky. Amy said she has to take it one day at a time. Howard asked if it drives her crazy. Amy said it's great to not live with anyone. She said she may not want to live with anyone ever again.
Howard said it's nice to lay down and talk about your day. Amy said she can do that. Howard said that she can do it when her ex-husband takes the kids. Amy said maybe it's nice not to spend every minute together. Howard said he and Beth give each other plenty of space.
Howard asked if Will has met Nick. Amy said they have and it's all fine. She said it's like everybody goes through it and tries to figure it out. She said she thinks they're doing that. Howard asked if they get along. Amy said they do. She said she doesn't get these people who can't figure it out for the kids. She said Louis C.K. is great like that. Howard said Will should be with Mariah Carey. Howard said that would be so hot. Robin said that's hysterical.
Howard got back to Amy's book and said he was shocked reading about her sex stuff in the book. Howard said he never thought about her in bed. Howard said she put it all out there for everyone. Howard said Amy says she loves sex and she's great at it. Howard said that's really setting yourself up. Howard asked how she knows she's great at it. Amy said it's a joke. Howard said no it isn't. Amy said she's 43 and women get in their zone and they know what they like. Howard said men will finish inside a piece of meat. Howard asked how she knows she's good. Amy said you feel good about it and you're open minded about it. She said there isn't a lot of shame or judgment in it.
Howard asked if she would let him tie her up and leave her there naked. She said she might turn her off. Howard asked if she would do some other things and she was into some of the stuff he was asking about. Howard asked if she would be okay if he came back and rubbed ice on her while she was tied up. Amy said she'd like to be dominated like the women in 50 Shades of Grey but that's just out there. Amy said she knows what Howard likes to watch with the Baby sitter porn. Howard said the watched some women showering last night.
Howard said that Amy tells men to stay away from porn. Amy said that this generation has porn so accessible. She said that the guys may not be into their relationships so much. Howard said she says she watches porn. Amy said that she does. She said she can't believe she's talking about this. Howard asked if she watches lesbian porn. She said she will but that's not her thing. Amy said she likes her porn like her comedy. She likes it done by professionals. She said that they have to enjoy themselves. She said she's not an amateur person. She said she likes people who are into their jobs.
Howard asked when she watches the porn. Amy said all day long. She said she's just kidding. She said she can't talk about this anymore.
Howard said Amy tells women that they should keep their virginity as long as they can until it feels weird for them. Howard asked if losing her virginity was bad for her. Amy said it really wasn't. Howard said Amy was popular in high school and she was a cheerleader and things like that. Amy said she was a floater actually. Then she remembered her dad is listening to the show this morning. Howard said that now he knows about the porn watching. Amy said she was sorry to her dad.
Howard asked Amy where she grew up. She said it was Burlington, Massachusetts. Howard asked why she went to Chicago to start her comedy career. Amy said that she would have been lost in L.A. She said that she did improv at Boston College. Amy said she heard about Second City and Improv Olympic. She said that Farley and Mike Myers started there. She said that she got there and Chris was leaving when she got there. She said that he was amazing. Amy said Chris could never quite see how funny he was being. She said he would kick the wall after killing out there.
Amy said when she got to Chicago there were people like Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert there. She said it was full of talent. Amy said she thought that she was okay at what she was doing. She said that she and Tina met out there too. Amy said she started performing with people she liked. Then years go by and you get a shot at a part and it takes off from there.
Amy told Howard how she and Tina were put together and how they were improvising together. She said that once you don't fail with someone like that then you love them. Amy said if someone doesn't bail on you when a bit is failing then you love them.
Amy said she found the Upright Citizen's Brigade and her whole life changed. She said that they had some great people in the group. Howard said that they have schools all over now. Amy said she came in late but she's still a part of it.
Howard asked Amy if she hated doing stand up. Amy said she found that she got more satisfaction doing an ensemble thing with other people. She said she once opened up for Janeane Garofalo at Caroline's and she knew that she wasn't quite good enough for that. She said that she had such reverence for the good ones.
Howard asked Amy about doing SNL. Amy said that she remembers seeing the main stage and feeling like she might be working there some day when she toured there. Howard said the way she got on SNL was when she was working with Tina then Seth Meyers saw her. Amy said no. She said that she was doing a sketch thing and Tina was already on SNL. Amy said Tina and some other people were vouching for her to be on the show. Howard said he thinks that he'd shy away from doing that if he was on SNL. Howard said that's nice that Tina would do that for her.
Amy said she doesn't even remember what she did for her audition. She said that she did some kind of news desk type thing or something. Amy said she was on the show for the first time right after 9/11. She said it was tough and people were wondering if comedy was dead. Amy said the first big party they had for SNL was on September 20-something and they had fire fighters there who were having a blast. She said that they were still covered in soot from ground zero.
Howard asked if Amy partied like a maniac. Amy said she did but she didn't do a lot of drugs. She said she still smokes pot but not that much. Howard said she's tried a lot of things. Howard read about what she had done when she was on ecstasy. Howard said he's never tried that. Amy said she only tried that once or twice. Howard said every friend told him about it and how they'd always end up naked and touching other people. Amy said the next day is a disaster. She said you want to kill yourself the next day. Amy said she went to see that movie Traffic the next day and she remembers balling from that. Howard asked if Amy gets all touchy feely with people. Amy said she wasn't like that. Howard asked why you want to touch other people. Amy said you like the feeling of it. Howard said he wouldn't want to do that. He said he'd be afraid of Ebola. Amy said she was thinking about that when she flew in. She said that she thinks about everything being touch screen now.
Howard said Amy talks about trying cocaine too. She said that she did and she described what that was like. Howard said she also had some more sex tips. Howard said Amy says if you don't eat pussy then keep walking. Howard asked if that's true. Howard said he likes to do it but most women don't seem to enjoy it when he does it. Howard said he thinks that he'd be good at it. Howard said almost every woman isn't into it. Howard said he's not sure what to do. Howard said he does like doing it. Howard said some of the women he dated enjoyed it.
Howard asked Amy if she's excited about this book. Howard said that if she has good sales then she might be asked to do another one. Amy said this one took 2 and a half years. She said she was working and trying to do the book. She said it was really hard because you'd write something down and it's right there. Howard asked if she sent it to anyone to read first. Amy said she didn't. She said that it's not a tell all or anything. She said that she's not worried about her kids reading it anytime soon.
Howard asked Amy about working on Saturday Night Live. Howard said that he found it interesting that you're not allowed to laugh during sketches. Howard said he remembers watching her with Debbie Downer laughing. Howard said everyone on the set is laughing. Amy said that was the only one she broke in. She said that she would watch it and get depressed because it was so funny. Amy said that every time they would zoom in they would laugh. Howard said all of the other cast members would look away when she'd look at them. Lindsay Lohan was in that sketch too. Howard said she was good in that sketch though. Howard said it's sad that she's fallen apart since then. Amy said she loved working with her in ''Mean Girls.'' Howard said that really was a good movie. Howard asked if it's extra pressure on her to work for Tina. Amy said not at all. She said that she just wants to do a good job. She said that was a fun set. She said she had a great time on the set of that movie.
Howard asked Amy what the plan is now. Howard said Parks is ending. Amy said she's producing, directing and writing a bunch of stuff. Howard asked what the name of her production company is. Amy said that it's Paper Kite Productions. She said her grandfather made her the logo for the company and he was a kite maker. She said it's just for him. Amy said that it's a strong yet vulnerable thing at the same time.
Howard asked Amy about how she grew up. Amy said that her parents were school teachers so she grew up as lower middle class. She said her grandfather was actually an architect. Howard asked about her brother being in the business. Amy said that he has his own show on NBC called ''Welcome to Sweden.'' She said he's a great writer too.
Howard asked Amy if she has to work anymore. Amy said she doesn't have enough to retire. Howard asked if she's worth $18 million. He said if she is then she can retire. Robin said he doesn't know what she's spending though. Amy said her nut is $19 million. Amy said she is going to take a break and do some other stuff. She said she is very proud of Parks and Rec. She said that Gary is a big fan of the show. Howard said he knows.
Howard said Amy went through the divorce and she didn't get wrecked. Amy said she has always made her own money so she's been fine. Howard asked if one person had to pay the other. Amy said she didn't want to get into that. She said she has been financially independent for a long time. Howard said that's so hot. Howard said he thinks that's attractive. Amy said she thinks it's weird when someone isn't earning in any way.
Howard said that Amy and her husband both have money. Howard asked how they pay the bills. He said the man would traditionally pay the bills. Amy said they would split the bills. Howard asked how that worked. Amy said Will would pay the bills and she'd buy the shoes, cosmetics and things like that. Amy said that she was joking. Howard asked how they split it though. Amy said she doesn't get what he's asking. Howard said in every relationship he's been in he's paid for everything. Amy said of course. Howard said that he and his wife had a joint bank account and they paid the bills. Howard said that Amy didn't do that. Howard said he's not sure how it works.
Amy said Howard is hung up on this. Amy said she thinks that Howard had to protect his money. She said she and Will made the same amount of money. Howard asked if she would feel angry if she paid out more than Will did. She doesn't know.
Howard took a call from Ralph who was kissing Amy's ass a little. Ralph said that she's really good on the awards shows with Tina. Howard said he agrees and they really are great. Ralph was wondering if they've ever been kept from doing a bit that they wanted to do that would have killed. Amy said that they have a lot to lose doing something like that. She said that they thought they could have fun doing it. Amy said they are doing the Golden Globes one last time and they're done. She said that she and Tina are used to working in the system so they know what they can do.
Howard asked why they decided to stop at 3. Amy said that they want to leave the party early and not be the last person at the party. Howard said you want to have fun and make fun of Hollywood. Amy said it's good because they have both TV and movie people in the same room. She said that they were joking about how there were so many famous people in the room that Matt Damon was basically a trash person.
Howard said Neil Patrick Harris is really good at something like that. Howard said Anne Hathaway wasn't very good at the Oscars. Howard said he likes James Franco so he went along with his explanation for what happened that night.
Howard asked if Amy thinks a lot about what she wears to these shows. Amy said unfortunately she does. She said she has to wear heels and things like that. Howard said that she should just wear a pantsuit. Amy said she can just imagine what Howard would say about that.
Howard said that Amy did SNL when Sarah Palin was on. Howard said Amy came out and did a rap song and Palin was dancing along. Howard said that was such a weird moment. Howard said that they were basically making fun of Palin and she was going along with it. Amy said that was such a surreal moment for her. She said that it was very strange. Amy said when people come on the show you have to be a good host and you can't be mean to them. She said they said yes to coming on the show. Amy said it doesn't work if you're mean to them. Amy said they know what they're in for but it doesn't work if you're mean. Amy said she and Seth were trying to think of something that would be fun. She said she was so pregnant at the time and she had her baby like 5 days later. Amy said that she was so big that people were afraid of her. She said she thought it would be funny to do a hard core rap and they were game.
Howard asked Amy if she has ever said she didn't want someone as a guest on SNL. Amy said she doesn't think she had that power at all. Amy said that she loved McCain on the show and he was a lot of fun. Amy said she doesn't agree with his politics but he was fun on the show.
Howard asked if she didn't like some people on SNL. Amy said that most of the time you get a good version of a person because they're on good behavior when they're on. Amy said there were times when a shot would come in and say they wanted the week to be really funny.
Howard said he thought Jim Carrey was terrific this weekend on SNL. Howard said that he did an impression of Matthew McConaughey that was great. He said Jim did a zombie bit where he kept beating his son and he made that part of it the bit great. Amy said that he's so great in Dumb and Dumber.
Amy said the music she got to see on SNL was great. She said it's something she can't do so it's great to see that happening. Amy said that she and Fred Armisen would watch and just be blown away. She said it was crazy.
Howard said he can't believe how many good people have come out of SNL. Howard said the list goes on and on and on. Howard said it's remarkable. Amy said it's like the comedy miliary. She said that they have so many people come out of there. She said that they all talk about their past when they run into someone.
Howard asked if she ever got to work with Steve Martin. Amy said she has a story about that in the book. She said she worked with him on SNL when he hosted. She said that they had a bit they were going to do but it never made it to air. She said that it made it to dress but not to the final show. Amy said that she and Steve always wonder why it didn't make it to air. She said it's better that it didn't get to air because Steve will bring it up to her.
Howard asked how tough it is to pitch an idea to a host. She said that it was rough for the first couple of years. She said that she got better as she went along. Howard asked who her favorite host was. Amy said that her favorite was probably John Goodman. She said he was really good to her. She said he's super fun and he remembered her name. She said that was like her first season. Howard said he's loose on the set and that's what you have to do. Amy said he's such a super talent that you never worry for him.
Howard asked if Amy ever fell in love with anyone there. Amy said she was married at the time. Howard asked if she was ever tempted. Amy said not at all. She said she can see how complicated it would be there.
Howard gave Amy some plugs for her book ''Yes Please'' and started to wrap up with her.
Amy said that she wants them to stop asking JD about his girlfriend. She said that they're going to ruin it for him. She said that they have to stop asking so many questions. She said it's stressful to listen to. She said if it's brought in there then it's going to be ruined. Howard asked if she's afraid that she's going to be turned off to JD jerking off into t-shirts. Amy said yes. She said that Howard has to stop that. She said if they were dating for a year then maybe. She said that it feels too sensitive to her. Amy said it's too early for it to be dragged into the light. She wants to give it a few more months. Howard said that's an interesting thing. Amy said she knows it's not good radio to let it ferment.
Howard asked why people should go buy Amy's book. Amy said she thinks it's a story from the perspective of someone who isn't in the middle. She said that she likes to think that this is where she is so far. She said if you like comedy you'll like it. Amy said there are a lot of stories about people who you might think are funny. Amy said she's not good at selling this book. Howard said he thinks she's sold it. Howard asked what she's doing next. Amy said she's doing Letterman tonight. Amy said Dave told her that he likes Parks and Rec and that means a lot to her.
Howard asked if she thought about going to Jimmy Fallon first. Amy said she has a lot of friends over there. She said that Dave is leaving so she wanted to get on that show. Amy said she loves jimmy and she'd do his show anytime. Howard said Jimmy feels that she's a traitor. He jokingly told her that.
Howard asked Amy what she's going to be wearing. Amy said she has someone to help her get dressed. She said that she loathes the pictures she sees of herself. She said she can't stand her own face. Howard said he thinks she has a lovely face. Howard said he can't stand his own. Amy said she hates pictures of herself and hates watching herself. Amy said she feels like a Muppet on the red carpet. Howard said he knows that feeling.
Howard said Tina Fey told him that Paris Hilton was her least favorite on SNL. Amy said she was a tough one. Howard said he thinks Tina was sorry she said that. Amy asked if she was. Howard said he thinks she was. Howard said Paris isn't a talker so that had to be tough. Amy said it was in the middle of all of this stuff she was going through.
Amy said that Bill Hader did a great job hosting SNL last week. She said Chris Pratt did a great job too. Howard said he thinks so. Howard said he thinks that this was a home run for Amy. Amy said she thought they ran out of things to talk about. Howard said not at all.
Howard asked what Amy was thinking he was going to ask her about. Amy said she is such a fan of the show and she hears people giving a very protected interview and it's disappointing. Howard said he doesn't think her interview was like that at all.
Howard asked Amy about saying she has a pretty vagina. He said she says it's like the Angelina Jolie of vaginas. Amy said she was just making a joke. She said that it is pretty though. Howard asked why though. Amy said she can't say why but it's heavily involved in humanitarian said all over the world.
Howard said Amy also says that people do get aroused during love scenes. Amy said that you need chemistry and she has been with guys who have gotten aroused. Amy said that she gets into it. Howard asked if she squirted on the set of Mean Girls. Amy said that is not true. Howard said he hates that word ''squirting'' too. Amy said it's just peeing. Howard said that's right.
Howard asked Amy about doing a scene with Ike Barinholtz in a movie. Amy said they made out in that scene. Howard asked if he squeezed her breast. Amy said that he did not. She said it was just making out. Howard said he would have felt her breast.
Howard wrapped up the interview and gave her some more plugs for the book and for Parks and Recreation. Amy said she'll work on her Tan Mom impression. Howard asked who she doesn't like on the show. Amy said she likes everyone. Howard asked if she likes Jeff the Drunk. Amy said she does not. She said he is such a bore. Jeff was on the phone so Howard picked up and Jeff said he was calling in to say how lovely she is. Amy thanked him for that. Howard picked up on Mariann too. Mariann said she's been holding since 6am. Amy went into her Mariann impression and Fred was playing the crow sounds while the two of them were going back and forth.
Howard asked if she likes Sal and Richard. Amy said Sal disturbs her a lot. She said the porn stuff he's into bums her out. Howard said he's too hard core. Amy said she does love their work though. Amy said that with Sal it's just too much. She said when he's on the Wrap Up Show it's too much. Fred played Sal saying ''I'm a turtle.'' Amy said she remembers that and she thinks he was really hypnotized. Amy said she went to dinner with some friends in London once and she thought she would never be hypnotized. Amy said this guy was there and he's like the David Blaine of England. Amy said she was saying she would never by hypnotized. Then at the end of the night she picked up the check for the whole table of 10. Amy said she wondered if that mother fucker hypnotized her into picking up the check. She said she was thinking about a movie about a guy who just got people to pick up the check.
Howard gave Amy some more plugs and wrapped up once again. Amy said she has an audio book out for her book and she reads some of it and there's also Patrick Stewart, Seth Meyers and more. They went to break a short time later. They played a prank call they made to Tan Mom with Tan Mom audio clips as they were going to break.
Howard said Mike and Brandy are hanging out in the studio today. Howard said they adopted one of their kittens. They said it was Steven. Howard said he loved Steven. Howard said they adopted the cat and also gave a nice donation to Bianca's Furry Friends. Mike said the donation was nothing compared to what Howard and Beth do.
Howard took a call from Casey Kasem's corpse who said he's at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean right now. He said it's been four months and he's still not buried. Robin said she was wondering if that will make him fall apart faster being in the ocean. Howard said he would think so.
Howard took a call from a guy, Brian, who said that the Amy Poehler interview was great. He also told Howard he was suicidal for many years and he brought back a smile on his face. He said he saved his life. He said he listens to Howard all day every day. Howard said he's glad he's feeling better. Howard asked what his addiction was. The caller said he was addicted to heroin and he came out the other side. He said Howard is almost like a god to him. He said Robin too. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard asked Mike and Brandy if they're married. Mike said they are. He said they've been married a year and a half. Howard asked where they were from. Mike said Oceanside. Howard said he heard that Nathan's is moving from there. He said his mom's birthday was on October 22 and they went to Nathan's for that. Robin asked how old she is. Howard was doing his mom's voice and said that's not very nice to ask. She said she's 87 years old though. Howard asked if she's having sex with dad. Howard was doing his mom and dad's voices and had Ben asking who it was on the phone and not being able to hear his mother. Howard spent a minute doing that and then said goodbye to his mom as she was talking about the food they ate at Nathan's.
Howard said Jim Carrey is coming in tomorrow. Howard said they also have the Rob Zombie concert coming up on Howard 101 on Friday night at 9. Howard said that will air the rest of the weekend too.
Robin started her news talking about a James Brown documentary that's coming out on HBO. Robin said it's called Mr. Dynamite The Rise of James Brown and it's on tonight on HBO. Howard said he was very influential. Howard said Mick Jagger produced that special because he was influenced by him.
Robin read a story about how Oprah's limo ran over someone's foot. Robin said that she had a dinner with her friend Gayle and Oprah ordered a burger with a truffle on it that night.
Howard played the audio of Tan Mom that he was talking about when Amy was in there. Howard played one clip where Tan Mom was talking about people suffering in the world and telling people to go fuck themselves. Howard said this was her audition for The View.
Robin read a story about Halle Berry being on the cover of Style magazine or something and she's showing off a beautiful bust line. Robin said she gives her secret for keeping them perky. Howard said they always tell women they have to wear a bra all the time. Robin said that's right. Howard said a French scientist says that no bra will make your breasts more pointy. Robin said Halle says even wear that bra to bed. Howard asked Robin if she's ever bra less. Robin said she's in a bra most of the time but she doesn't sleep in one. Howard said he thinks Halle does. Robin said that's what the article says. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the mom on Honey Boo-Boo possibly dating a convicted child molester. Howard said that should be their punishment. Howard said suddenly he wants to watch that show. Howard said that's fucking television. Robin said now they're turning off the camera. Howard said fucking that woman would be punishment. Howard said he'd rather go to prison than have sex with her. Robin read about what this guy was accused of doing and how Mama June was photographed with this guy at some place. That led to Howard playing a ''Honey Bobo'' bit they created. Robin said they were nuts before this and it was fine to keep the cameras rolling before.
Howard took a call from a guy who said this whole Honey Boo-Boo thing is fucked up. He said his mom is a fan but he told her she's nuts for wanting to keep watching. Howard said that he was never turned on by it. He said he loves watching idiots but that show never turned him on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he likes Amy Poehler but he doesn't get Jenny McCarthy at all. He asked if it's okay that Robin isn't in the studio. Howard said sometimes she's there and sometimes she's at home. Howard said Robin is doing fine.
Robin read a story about the cigarette company Reynolds and how they're changing their policy about smoking in the office. Robin said they're going to have to start going outside or into a special room to smoke starting in January. Howard said it's weird when a company worker can't use the company's product.
Robin read a story about the mother of Reva Steencamp writing a book about what she thinks happened to her daughter when Oscar Pistorius shot her. Robin said that the mom says that her daughter was scared to take her relationship to another level so she never had sex with him. Robin said that they were only together for 3 months and her daughter avoided having sex with Oscar. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a shooting at a high school in Washington state on Friday. Howard said the kid was a popular kid too. Howard said that it's supposed to be nerds. Robin said you can't tell anymore who is going to snap. Howard said it was a beef over a girl and he was out for his cousin. Robin said that this girl picked this cousin over the guy who did the shooting. Robin said the girl has the right to choose whoever she wants. Robin said they weren't even in a relationship. Robin said she thinks the guy was trying for the girl and the guy got jealous. Robin said the kid turned the gun on himself after he went on the shooting spree. Robin read about the girl who died in the shooting and how the family is donating her organs.
Robin read a story about Ebola arriving in New York. Howard said they're going to have Ebola on the show tomorrow to make a statement. Robin read about this doctor who came down with the disease after treating people for Ebola. Robin said they had some press conferences for this situation and they are saying that we have things under control. Robin had some audio of some people talking about how they're going to handle the Ebola thing.
Robin said she was watching 60 Minutes yesterday and she thought they had audio of the nurse that was on the show. She had a clip of this woman talking about how she was forced to stay in a quarantine room when she wasn't supposed to be kept there. JD came in and Fred played him in with a Daniel Mendelson song parody about him. Howard said Amy was sticking up for JD. JD said he almost said something but he held back. Howard said he's going to ignore her advice and continue to talk about this. Howard asked if his girlfriend came down this weekend. JD said she did. He told Robin that he did pull the right one. Robin said he had the name wrong then. They continued to play some audio of this nurse talking about why she went in the room to take care of this patient who was dying from Ebola. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Howard said hi to Mike and Brandy again. He asked if they like having the cat around. Mike said they love cats. Howard said they're great to have around.
Robin read more about the Ebola problem and had more people commenting on that. Howard said there must be a cure somewhere. Robin said that the two nurses who helped the Ebola guy are Ebola free. Robin said the president had to hug one of them. She said he really has to do things that people don't want to do.
Robin read a story about a video that was shot of a guy punching someone wearing a pink t-shirt. She had some audio from the video. The guy said he has the right to do that because we're in America. Robin said the guy just doesn't like pink shirts. She said she's not sure what his problem is.
Robin read a story about some people who are calling for putting boots on the ground to fight ISIS. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that.
Robin read a story about John F. Kennedy Jr. and a book that's coming out about him. Robin said there are details about him that have never been revealed before. Robin told Howard about some of those things and Howard went into his Kennedy impression for a short time. He was revealing even more made up stuff about JFK Jr.
Robin read a story about the Allman Brothers paying tribute to the late Jack Bruce this weekend. Robin had some audio of a cover of one of Jack's songs.
Robin read a story about Taylor Swift's hit song and had Howard play some of that. Howard said he saw her on Jimmy Kimmel and she was wearing a shirt showing off her belly. Howard said he had to watch the whole thing.
Robin read about how Iggy Azalea was on Saturday Night Live this weekend. Robin had some audio of her performing one of her songs. Robin said she really liked it. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show after doing a little more of his Kennedy impression. They ended the show around 10:35am.
Gary said she was nervous and her people said this was the one thing she kept thinking about even though she has a lot of press to do. Gary said that he liked it when she remembered that her father was listening. Jon said she kept plowing along even after that. Jon said Howard got into the sex talk with her too. Gary said he's always shocked when writers come in and they're shocked that they wrote something in their own book. Gary said he read his own book through at the end to make sure it was okay. He said some people sit down with someone and write and they forget what's in there. He said Amy wrote this herself though.
Jon played a clip of Howard asking Amy to do her Mariann from Brooklyn impression. After that Jon said her Tan Mom impression was right on too. Gar said she totally had Tan Mom's attitude. He said you don't have to be spot on with the impression if you get the attitude right.
Gary said that Amy had to do some other stuff for them and he was going to walk her around the compound and he wanted to see if JD would give her the turn. Jon said he's sure he would have. Jon said that she was defending JD and his girlfriend. Gary said he agrees with Amy about all of that. Gary said that he expects JD to say no to something they ask and he never does. Jon said you always want to serve the show and give to it. Gary said they want to let the guy have his own thing but sometimes you think that he only has that because of the show. Jon said he thinks JD appreciates that Amy went to bat for him and his girl.
Gary said that he asked Amy to do Celebrity Super Fan roundtable and she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't think she'd be good at trivia. Jon said there are different levels though. He said that doesn't mean one is more of a fan than another.
Jon brought up Amy talking about her date with John Stamos. Gary said that may have been a pre-date. He said they might have been seeing if there was more to it than that.
Jon asked Richard if he ever had a pre-date. Richard said he never had dates. He said that he just had his hand. Jon said he's glad Richard is there. He said that he had a rough day with the Halloween hatred. Jon said he doesn't think anything can bring him down. Richard said he is in hog Halloween heaven. He said 99 percent of the things he's into Howard hates. He said he's used to it. Richard said he likes what he likes and you can't help it.
Jon said Richard defended the way he feels and he was talking about those feelings he has. Richard said he pays his rent and he's responsible. He said he takes care of his wife and guinea pigs and stuff. He said he's into childish things. Gary said that he's still freaked out by Richard getting tucked in by elves. He said he understands why he loves it though. Richard explained that story again where they had the options to be tucked in and the lady asked how old the child was. Richard said he told her 35 and she said that's about 30 years older than the maximum age. Richard said he's still into stuff he was into when he was little. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Jon asked what Howard thinks about that. Gary said he thinks that it's frivolous and unnecessary. Gary said he's not into it either. He said this is one of his least favorites. Gary said that it became a bit of a chore to get dressed up and do all of that.
Richard said it's funny when the guy from San Diego called in to tell him about the haunted house and Howard hung up. Richard said he thinks he knows which one the guy was talking about. He said they kind of simulate torture in this guy's garage. He said that he saw one video of a guy with a cage on his head and they put some fake snakes in the cage and the guy flipped out.
Jon asked which one he was freaked out by. Richard said there's one in Pennsylvania that you can go through naked. Jon asked what he's waiting for. Richard said he wants to go to that one. He said he has been to Amityville. Richard said he'd like to sleep there but it's a private residence.
Jon asked Richard if he's conflicted with the world Series happening. Richard said he's fine with it. He said that the World Series will be over by then so he'll be good to go.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he does a trade show in Pennsylvania and he told Richard to never lose that passion for Halloween. He said he is big into it like Richard is. He said that their house is pretty much set up like Halloween year round. He said he'd love to send off something to Richard for the holiday. Richard said if he had a house he would have a dream to live in something like the Amityville house. Jon asked if his wife would go along with that stuff. Richard said he thinks he'd be allowed to have a haunted man cave or something.
Gary asked if he gets dressed up for the tick or treaters. Richard said they may stick their guinea pig out the door in costume this year. He said they do dress up too though. Richard said he remembers getting popcorn balls with caramel on them and she didn't wrap them so they'd stick to the candy.
Gary said they used to go to one house that had half dollars that they'd give out. He said that was a big deal to a kid at the time. Gary said that the unwrapped shit is weird. He said he doesn't want an apple or anything like that. Gary said they have a thing now where if you see a teal pumpkin then the people are giving out healthy food. Jon said he thinks those people could end up getting their houses egged.
Richard wondered what Robin gives out. Jon said she's very generous so he's not sure. Richard said maybe it's some healthy cauliflower or something.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how much Richard will cry if the Royals win the Series. Richard said he can cry just thinking about it right now. Gary said that's the 5 year old in him that he finds strange but endearing. Richard said he and his dad have been bonding over that lately. Richard was talking about the days when he was a kid and he started to break down almost crying just talking about it. Richard said it reminds him of when he was a little kid and his parents taking them to see the Royals games. Richard was talking about that and he had tears rolling down his eyes according to Gary. Gary said he knows that Eric Stonestreet and Rob Lowe are Royals fans. Rob was at last night's game.
Jon asked Richard if he's okay on November 1st because he has Christmas coming. Richard said he's good with that. He said he loves all of the holidays. Richard said he celebrates very ''bigly'' on all of those days. Richard said that he loves all holidays. Jon said he doesn't think anyone wants to see him grow up. Richard said New Years Day is one of his least favorites. He said that's like the end of the holidays for a long time. He said he's usually hung over the next day so he's bummed.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Richard about how into Mischief night he was. Richard said they used to be into that too. He said they'd do all kinds of things. Richard said he always watches the movie The Crow on that night. Richard said that they used to throw cow dung. Gary said they threw eggs and stuff like that. He said they would put flour in a sock and hit people in the head with that. Richard used to set bales of hay on fire. Richard said they'd block the street with that. He said nothing bad ever came from that. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Richard if he's ever had that bond with someone in a band. Richard said once you jam with someone you get a feeling of what to do. Gary said he has asked Leslie about that song and Leslie told him like 3 stories about it. He said he thinks that Leslie was just playing and Jack was able to hear it and just played along.
Jon said that Amy Poehler was talking about Sal and it wasn't the nicest thing in the world. Richard said Sal took that as if Amy had the hots for him. He said that he took it differently than she may have expected him to. Gary said that sounds like the definition of every date rapist at every college. Richard said he thinks that if Sal gets turned on by that he may pleasure himself thinking about that. Jon said they'll get Sal in there sometime and get his side of the story there.
Jon had Jon Leiberman give his news preview. Leiberman ran down a few headlines they had for today. After that they got in some plugs and ended the show around 11:20am.
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Howard started the show talking about Jim Carrey stopping in today. He said he hast seen him since 2002. He said he'll be there to talk about ''Dumb and Dumber To.'' He said it's very funny. Howard said he's a big fan of the first one. He said he wanted to see this movie and they deliver these movies through this thing called a PIX system. He said it's password protected and all of that. Howard said that he's sure these movies are up on the web already but whatever. Howard said he had to sit and watch the movie yesterday. He said he put in the code and it took 15 minutes to get into the system. He said he got into the system and the movie wasn't in there. Howard said he had to call people to find out what's going on. Howard said he was ready to watch and he doesn't have a lot of free time. Howard said they think you live to watch movies and that's just not the case. Howard said he was going to put this on his iPad to watch but no one would let him do that either. Howard said Chris figured out that the menus were hidden somehow. They eventually found the movie on the PIX system.
Howard said he finally got the movie on and it was hysterical. Howard said he can quote some of it. Howard said Ralph was over so he had to pause the movie. Howard said he's about 40 minutes into the movie and he went to work with Ralph. He said he went back and he was locked out of the system. Howard said he unlocked the thing and then everything was gone again. He said he was hitting buttons like a mad man and eventually got to the movie. He said it started from the beginning. Howard said he hit fast forward and it took him back to the hidden menu. He said he eventually gave up. He wasn't able to watch from where he left off. Howard said it was a very funny movie and he wanted to see the whole thing. Howard said he wants people to see this scene he was in the middle of. Howard said he spent his day wrestling with this PIX box. Howard said he had such a negative experience with the box. Howard said it's so bad.
Robin asked what this box is. Howard said it's so the movie companies don't get ripped off. He said he doesn't know what's going on. He just wants to watch the movie. Howard said he thinks they hit a home run with this movie. He said if the next 40 minutes are as good as the first 40 then they have a hit.
Howard had a clip of someone getting out a Baba Booey on a Detroit TV station. Howard played that and someone yelled out a Baba Booey and the news reporter gave him a Hey Now! back to him. Howard said that was exciting. Howard said that's for all of their fans in Detroit.
Howard had some audio of representative Louie Gohmert talking about the military and gay soldiers and what can happen in battle. Howard said that someone actually voted for this guy. He said he should have been the fringe kook candidate. Howard said these conservative guys always have gay fantasies. Howard said they think all hell is going to break loose.
Howard said he has a great clip to play. He said this is from Los Angeles CBS affiliate. Howard said these guys were out at some event where they were in costumes. Gary said it's near where Jimmy Kimmel's studio is in Los Angeles. Howard said a fight broke out between the people dressed as Super Heroes and the reporter was giving a blow by blow. Howard played the clip and the reporter was explaining the fight which was a mix of all of these comic book and Sci-Fi characters. Howard said that's his favorite clip of the week. Howard said he's sure no one knows who Mr. Fantastic is. Howard said it makes no sense to call him that name. He said he was just able to stretch. JD came in and said it was actually Mr. Incredible. Howard said that makes more sense. Howard said that none of these people dressed up as these characters can actually do anything.
Howard said he has a male opera singer singing and his voice cracks. Howard played that clip next. Howard said that was so good too. Robin said that poor guy studied for years to do that.
Howard said that he has Captain Janks called into a San Francisco news station about an earth quake. Howard played that and Janks said that the earthquake was actually a rumbling from Howard Stern's ass crack. The news anchor said that wasn't who they thought it was. She said that it was a serious situation and it's not time for jokes.
Howard said it actually is time for jokes. Howard said they do light stories at the end of pieces like that and that's what this was like. Howard said Janks is the busiest retiree. Howard said he has never been busier. Robin said that was a classic Janks because he started off with a good piece of information and then let that go.
Howard played a clip of a news report where a guy was talking about the damage done to his house in an earthquake. He let out a ''fuck'' while he was talking to the reporter. They quickly cut away from him.
Howard said he has a clip of a guy seeing a woman and she's crying on the steps. Howard said he asks her for a kiss. Howard said that's what he loves about guys. Howard said that she could have just been raped for all he knows. In the clip the guy walks up to this woman who is crying and he asks for a kiss from her to make her feel better. Robin asked why this guy is being recorded. Howard said he's the guy holding the camera. Howard said it's really weird. He said that might be the worst time to ask for a kiss. Howard said he's a stranger holding a camera and he asks for a kiss. Howard said it's like the start of a fucked up porno movie but it's real. Howard said that might be his second favorite clip of the week.
Howard said he has some Pastor Manning audio clips. Howard played a clip where Manning was talking about how Vladimir Putin is going to out President Obama as being gay. Howard said this guy always has followers listening to him. He said someone believes this. He said there's another clip of Manning talking about how Putin is a homosexual too. Howard played that clip next. Manning was talking about how he's posing with his shirt off all the time and he must be gay. Howard said Manning was cracking himself up too.
Howard said that Howard 100 News went to interview Manning and Manning said that Howard Stern is a homosexual too. Howard played a clip of Jon Leiberman talking to Manning about that. Manning said because Howard is promoting homosexuality that means he must be gay too.
Howard said at one point he started attacking him but that wasn't the right clip. Howard said he did call him a pioneer at one point. Howard said he's apparently an ass pioneer.
Howard said he has a clip from a French porno. Howard said this guy was cumming too loudly. Howard played that clip and the guy was making all kinds of noise as he was finishing. Howard said that's just a whacko. He said no one does that.
Howard played a prank call where the guys used Pastor Manning audio clips to call a woman. They had him calling Obama a Long Legged Mack Daddy and things like that. They went to break after that.
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Howard said yesterday he said he was going to get Ebola on the phone. Howard said he has Ebola on the line right now. Howard picked up and had a guy doing a Dice Clay impression. The guy was joking about Ebola and Howard said he's not sure he liked Ebola. Ebola said he is like the Jay Leno of viruses because just when you think he's gone he comes right back. Ebola said that even the bed bugs are afraid of him. Ebola said he has a new slogan for New York which is ''I Love Diarrhea.'' Howard said he thinks he's done with Ebola. Howard said he's going to say good bye. Howard let him go a short time later. Howard said Ebola sounded like Dice to him. Howard said he has to get to Jim Carrey after the break. He said he's there super early this morning. He went to break after that. As they were going to break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit with Sal and Richard talking to an author about her book and they had Wendy the Retard playing Freddy Kruger.
Howard came back and said that Jim Carrey is there. Howard said he's in ''Dumb and Dumber To''. Howard asked Jim if he's afraid of Ebola. Jim said he's afraid of the voices in his head. He said they tell him he's got it. Howard said he misses Jim. Jim said he's sorry he hasn't been in. He said he's just been laying in bed the whole time. He asked Robin why she's still in that glass cage.
Howard said he only saw 40 minutes of Dumb and Dumber To. Howard asked if he's afraid of doing a sequel. Jim said he's only done one other one. He said that was Ace Ventura 2. He said that it was great to do Dumb and Dumber with Jeff Daniels. Jim faked a cough and said he's dehydrated from the diarrhea.
Howard said there's a scene in the movie where Jeff removes a catheter from him and he was laughing his ass off at that. Jim said they next movie will be in 2034 and it'll be called Gum and Gummer.
Howard said there's one point where Jim went up to Kathleen Turner and says ''Hello, sir'' and it was so funny. Howard said there's another scene where he's talking to Jeff on the couch on a cell phone. He said that's all he'll say but it's really funny.
Howard asked Jim about doing movies with the Farrelly brothers. Jim said it's great because of the people they'll bring into their movies. Howard asked what took so long with this sequel. Jim said that he's been disillusioned with Hollywood for a long time and that may have delayed it a bit. He said that Hollywood is more difficult these days. Howard said that there are some cable series on now that are more relevant to some actors now.
Jim asked if he can say the c-word on the air now. Howard said he can. Jim said he's been dying to. He let out a ''Cunt!'' quickly and got that out of the way. Jim said they did a scene with Kathleen Turner in the movie and she didn't want to use that word. He said that they used something other than that for the censors to chew on.
Howard said that movie is so outrageously politically incorrect. Jim said he likes the trailers they've been putting out. He said they're all so nonsensical and crazy. Jim said he thinks he's going down with the Ebola thing anyway so he's happy to go out like that.
Howard said that he watched Jim on Saturday Night Live. Jim said he had so much fun doing that. He said it's like insanity over there. He said he wishes they had a camera following him around the whole time. He said there are so many things happening the whole time you're there. Jim said they have a woman who follows you around to get you dressed. He said that he was in every sketch on the show this week so it's constant.
Howard asked Jim if he auditioned once or twice for SNL. Jim said he did it once. Jim said he's big into omens and things. He said that everyone is speaking to him. He said he got out of his car in Los Angeles and closed the door of his car and he heard someone say ''Don't do it!. Don't jump!'' He said there was a page up on top of the NBC building who was going to jump. He said the news crews were filing out of the building. He said he didn't think this was going to go well that day.
Howard said that it seems like when Jim was starting out it would have been a great vehicle for Jim to be on SNL. Jim said he never makes it in the normal ways. Howard asked if it was a tremendous feat for him to make it. Jim said he has a belief system that makes him believe something magical will happen.
Howard asked if he auditioned in front of Lorne Michaels. Jim said he doesn't think he was there. He said he thinks Dennis Miller was there. Jim said that they've been awesome to him since then though.
Howard asked if Jim goes in and suggests ideas for the show. Jim said he does call in with some stuff a few weeks ahead of time. Howard said that the Matthew McConaughey thing has gone viral and it was great. Howard asked how long that took to shoot. Jim said they shot it on Friday in the morning and then they did costume fittings and did more of a shoot until 5 in the morning. He said he had to do the show 3 times during Saturday. He said he didn't get much sleep that day. Jim let out another fake cough. He said it's happening!
Howard asked Jim if he travels the world. Jim said not really. He said hotel rooms look the same around the world. He doesn't do much.
Howard asked Jim about that sketch they did on SNL where he had a zombie son and he kept beating him with a baseball bat. Jim said he wanted to do a killer Halloween episode. Jim said he thinks he's going to vomit on the air. Howard told him not to do it.
Howard asked Jim about doing SNL and if he feels pressure on him. Jim said not really. He said he's used to it. Howard said he knows that Jim is going to be entertaining on award shows and things like that. Jim said that the structure of that kind of world is crazy.
Howard asked if he got any awards for ''Man on the Moon.'' Jim said he did. He said it's very sweet when he gets something like that. He said he has a hard time keeping stuff to himself. He said that he just lets it out and he thinks that upsets some people.
Howard asked Jim about doing Saturday Night Live and the live dress rehearsal. Howard said if a bit tanks they take it out. Howard asked if anything tanked that they took out. Jim said he tries to make everything tank so nothing gets taken out. Howard asked if he gets upset when they take it out. Jim said that he doesn't get too upset. He said that he didn't want to do the dance scene where he was in the tutu. He said he's kind of flabby right now. Howard said he thought his balls were going to come out.
Jim said he and Howard have to do a movie together. He said Private Parts was great. Howard said he had a lot of fun doing that. Howard said when you find a guy like Jeff Daniels to work with you must forget that you're even working. Howard said he worked with Paul Giamatti and he felt like that with him. He said he felt like he was back at NBC working with Pig Virus.
Howard said Jim worked with Rodney Dangerfield. Howard said he was a great guy. Jim said he was a good soul and he misses him. He said that Rodney messed with his dad when he met him the first time. Jim said that Rodney was smoking pot back stage and he was sitting there with his dad when he was like 18 or 19 years old. He said Rodney asked if he wanted a hit off the joint. He said his dad told him he'd be up to 2 or 3 packs in no time if he started. He said his dad was quick like that.
Howard said he thinks his dad would have been a great radio guy. Howard said Jim thinks his dad could have been big too. Howard wondered if they're just inflating them. Jim said he doesn't think so. He said his dad was a really funny guy. He said when they had company over everyone left with pee stains from laughing. Jim said his dad was incredibly animated.
Howard asked if he does that impression of his dad in his act. Jim said he tries to do something that's supposed to be his dad in every movie. Howard asked where he does that in Dumb and Dumber To. Jim said he's not sure but he's sure there's something in there.
Howard said Jim's dad got to see him have success. Jim said he did. He said he got to L.A. and he called his parents and told them to come on down and live with him. He said the next two years was him sitting in his bedroom alone while his parents were smoking in the other room until the lamps turned brown. He said he'd come home and his mom would come up to him and say that she put an ashtray in the bathroom for his roaches. He said it was tough having them living with him. He said he was going out with Linda Ronstadt at the time. He said he went out with her when he was 21 years old. Howard asked if he's being serious. Jim said he is. Howard said he didn't know that. Jim said she asked him to open for her and he said no but he would like to go out with her. He said they ended up dating for about 8 months. He said she was an amazing woman.
Howard asked if he brought her back to his apartment. Jim said that he did and nothing threw her. He said that he picked her up in his old Bel Air and he wasn't able to open the passenger door. He said she just told him to roll down the window and she crawled in.
Howard asked Jim if he had friends he'd call about dating Linda. Jim said he didn't. He said he was infatuated with her. Howard asked why it ended. Jim said they knew it wasn't going to be a long term thing. Jim said it ran its course and they were done.
Howard asked about Rodney Dangerfield and what it was like hanging with him. Jim said he's be hanging back stage in his bath robe and not caring about it. Jim said he'd come off stage and Rodney would say that he was like from another planet. He said he told him that he had to get some new material.
Howard asked Jim if Rodney told him to keep doing it when he'd bomb. Jim said he was so supportive. He said it touches him to see pictures of them together. He said he visited Rodney toward the end and he was sort of gone already. He said that he would go into the room and talk to him and the machines would light up. He said he wasn't even conscious. Howard said Rodney didn't make it until late in his life. Howard said it's weird the longer you live the more people you see dying.
Howard said he always wanted to ask Jim about Sam Kinison and how he asked him to go on tour with him. Howard said he was offering like 5 grand a show or something like that. Howard said Jim said to Sam that he didn't want to be around that drug culture. Jim said he loved Sam dearly too. He said that he looked up to him immensely. Jim said he was on the road for a while and he asked him to go out and be one of the outlaws. Jim said he told him he can't do that. He said he can't be a follower. Howard said that takes guts to say that. Howard said it would have been good exposure and money. Jim said he and Sam did hang a lot. He said they would go on road trips and they almost drove off the road a few times. Jim said Sam would drive down Santa Monica Boulevard and he'd pull up next to a gay hooker and start rolling down his side window to mess with him.
Howard said that Jim got the show ''Duck Factory'' and he must have thought he was going to make it. Jim said he walked into a bathroom and one of the network execs said to him that this couldn't fail. He said that he jinxed it right there.
Jim told Howard about the art he's been working on. Howard said it's addictive. Jim said he's been doing it his whole life but 5 years ago it really took over his life. He said it's a fantastic feeling. Howard asked if he sells any. Jim said he hasn't sold anything yet. He said he has hundreds of paintings. He said he sculpts too. Howard said he could stop making movies because of that addiction. Jim said that things have changed in Hollywood and everyone had to adjust their egos.
Howard asked Jim if he studied with anyone for the paining thing. Jim said he didn't really. He said he studied art but he didn't want to become everyone else. He said not knowing what he's doing is what makes it original. Jim said he just lets it happen. Howard said it limits him. Jim said he thinks that it's limitless if he doesn't study. Jim said he thinks he's painting one thing but then in therapy a year later he finds out that he painted something else.
Jim said he did a sculpture that's one and a half tons of bronze. He said he's pouring 2000 degree molten bronze. He said that's where you can find him. He said he got with people who know how to do that stuff. He said the sculpture is on his lawn now. Howard asked if the neighbors can see it. Jim said they can't see it behind his camouflage nets.
Howard asked Jim about doing Ace Ventura and making tons of money with that. Jim said he and Steve Odenkirk wrote that movie and when they got through it he had the option of getting out of it. He said he figured it was going to either end him or it would be huge.
Howard asked if other comedians get jealous of him. Jim said he thinks it's the women he dates that do. He said it's not so much the comedians.
Howard asked Jim about dating Jenny McCarthy. Howard said that he was surprised when he did that. Jim said that when you hook up with someone who is famous you become a sellable commodity. Howard said you become a powerful couple when you date a famous person. Howard said it seems natural to do that. Jim said that he and Jenny met in a club. He said he was in an insane mode in his life and he walked into the club and he was like a ball of light in the room. Howard said he thought they were going to get married there for a while. Jim said he doesn't do that anymore. He said he was married twice already. Howard asked whose fault it is when they split. Jim said it's no one's fault in California.
Howard asked Jim if he met someone really special and it meant a lot to her to get married. Howard asked if he would crack. Jim said he can't say how he'd feel. He said he can't make hard fast rules about the future. He said he doesn't think he'd go that way though. Howard said he has so much going on with his life and maybe that's enough. Jim said that women are important. He said he loves women. Howard asked if he still has time for that. Jim said of course he does. He said that he has broken up a lot in the past year though. Jim said he may not get to know someone that well and it becomes a hysterical thing. He said it's kind of scary.
Howard asked how he does the break up thing. Jim said he tried to do it on text and that wasn't good. Jim said he felt like he could say it right on text and then they could get together. He said it wasn't good.
Jim asked if he could strip because this fever he has is making him sweat. Howard said sure he can. He said he was getting blood and diarrhea all over the place though.
Howard said that Chris Rock said that you're only as faithful as your options. Jim said Chris is great. Howard asked if he would ever host the Oscars. Jim said he doesn't think so. He said he'd rather be the person who comes in as the person who is only a little disrespectful. He said he thinks he could kill it but he doesn't want to.
Howard said Jim had made The Mask when he put out Ace Ventura. Howard said he was paid like $450,000 for that and it grossed $351 million. Howard said the world was his oyster after that. Jim said that a couple of weeks before The Mask came out they were in Cannes and they were asking for more money for Dumb and Dumber. He said that they were able to renegotiate after The Mask came out. Howard said that everyone must have wanted Jim at that point.
Jim said before he did Ace he saw a sign for a psychic and he went in and the psychic told him he was going to do 3 movies that were going to be really huge and important. Jim said he was told he'd be set for life and he had to be careful of smoking pot. Jim said he has done that in his life but not a lot. Jim said he has had an addition to pot from time to time. Jim said if you're under a lot of pressure then a joint feels good to get you off the planet. Jim said he doesn't create anymore when he does that. He said he'll stop painting and stop being social. Jim said when Richard Pryor was doing that he was on fire. He said he didn't mean it in that way but he just can't be creative when he's smoking pot. Jim said there's this illusion that it's not addictive but it is a habit forming thing.
Jim said that if it's in the house he has to smoke it. He said his friends tell him the same thing. Robin said it was a creative thing for some people like Rodney. Jim said it's really not though. Howard asked if he had to go to rehab. Jim said no but he has been involved with programs. He said he doesn't really like the program for himself. He said he doesn't like the labeling. Jim said he doesn't believe in that kind of stuff.
Howard said he read that he went off to some retreat and he was put out there like a survivalist. Jim said he was on a vision quest. He said he did that in Tucson. Howard asked what he did. Jim said he ran into a guy who knew the tribe and he was at a spa and doing the treatments. He said the guy asked if he wanted to try something different. He said he went to a sweat lodge and the guy asked if he wanted to take it a step further. Jim said he went the chief of the tribe and he had to convince him that he was really into this. Jim said he did that and fasted for four days. He said he didn't eat a thing for those four days. Howard asked if he was completely depleted at that point. Jim said he was.
Jim said he was driven onto this reservation and they blindfolded him when they brought him in. Jim said they brought him up to this sacred mountain blindfolded. He said he could see the range of mountains that went on for like a 1/4 mile. He said they handed him a knife to protect himself from mountain lions. Jim said he was out in 120 degree heat burning and he was trying to protect his face from the sun. He said he had 12 ounces of water to drink. He said it was gone in a half hour. He said there were vultures over head too. Jim said he started to clue into the visions. He said he had questions he was asking the universe and images would start to be created on the side of the mountain by the sun. He said he'd get answers from those images. Robin asked if he was able to pay attention while he was burning up. Jim said he was.
Jim said it gets freaky after that. Jim said he's not a very religious person. He said he believes everything is connected though. Jim said the sun starts to go down and they warned him about the rattlesnakes and things like that. He said he was told to pound on the ground if one came into his area. Jim said he heard coyotes howling and things like that. He said they told him not to lay down. He said finally he lied down on the ground and he's hearing all of these animals howling and making noise. Jim said he got kind of frightened. He said he was laying there and he still prays to god even though he doesn't believe in him. Jim said he was laying there and he told God he was scared. He said that he turned and the mountain range he was staring at was the same shape of a man lying on his back. He said it was feet, knees, nose, hips and all of that. He said he was laying in the same direction. He said a wave went through him of absolute bliss. He said that he became an atheist when he went home. He said that he has a spiritual leader who he goes to and he asked him about that. Jim said it wasn't just the mountain thing either. Jim said he felt safe and then the moon starts to come up between their feet. He said he was completely freaked out that this was happening to him. Jim said he turned his head toward the mountain and the face of he mountain turned to him with a big smile and it was just incredible.
Howard asked if people tell him he's just nuts. Jim said not at all. He said that the chief came up to him the next day and they were about to put the blindfold on him. Jim said that he asked if they saw the man on his back. The chief asked what man and he pointed to the mountain. He said the chief said he had never seen that before when he finally saw it. He said he had been up there thousands of times in the past.
Howard asked Jim about Dumb and Dumber To and if he's worried about the box office. Jim said he wants it all to be good for everyone. Howard said he thinks it's going to be great. He said it was very funny. Jim said that it was great to be back together with Jeff again. Howard said he was worried it would be too long since the last one but it's a great movie.
Howard asked Jim about doing Batman Forever and the rumor is that he was fighting with Tommy Lee Jones. Jim said he's a fantastic actor and he was looking forward to working with him but he was a little crusty. He said that his movie Cobb came out around the same time as Dumb and Dumber and that upset him. He said he went to a restaurant and he went to say hi to him there. He said the blood drained from his face and he got up shaking and said ''I hate you... I really don't like you...'' Jim said that Tommy told him he can not sanction his buffoonery. Jim said that he wished him the best and moved on. He said to go to work the next day was pretty tough.
Jim said that he does a lot of takes and people get upset about that. He said that all that matters is what ends up on screen. He said he has to nail it.
Howard said that Jim has to work hard at this. Jim said that they worked really hard on Dumb and Dumber. He said they went over the script weeks before the movie shot. He said that they went over everything in it to make sure it was going to be funny in every scene.
Howard asked Jim about doing the Andy Kaufman move and if he became Andy. Jim said he was living the character. He said he was thinking that with the Andy thing he was thinking what Andy would be doing at the time. He said he would look at the ocean and think that he was speaking telepathically to the ocean. He said he would do that and then he'd speak telepathically to people for a week after that. Howard said Andy would annoy the shit out of people and that's what he did. Jim said he didn't even want to do the movie. He said that he wanted Andy to do it. Jim said that he has a documentary about the making of that movie and it's full of insanity. He said they had Chuck Zito and the Hell's Angels taking Tony Clifton to work on some days. He said Milos Forman didn't know how to handle it.
Howard said that Jim didn't do the Three Stooges movie because of the weight gain he'd have to do for Curly. Jim said it wasn't that at all. He said he just didn't feel it with that one. He said the guy who played Curly was pretty good. Jim said it didn't feel like him. Jim said he wasn't looking forward to Benicio Del Toro smacking him in the head for 3 months.
Howard asked Jim if he's a happy guy. Jim said happy is the weather. He said he is content and he's in a really good place. A great place.
Robin said that George Lucas said that Hollywood isn't a good place to nurture artists. Jim said in the past decade that has changed. He said it's no different in the rest of America. Jim said there are people you never see making decisions based on stats.
Gary came in and told Howard that Jim really has to go. Howard said he hopes he'll come back. Jim said he'll have to come back soon. Jim said there was a time when he heard Howard moved to Sirius and he didn't even know what that meant. Jim said sometimes it's crazy to be in the cross hairs of Howard too. Howard said if he knew he was in the mountains doing what he was doing then he would have let him off the hook. Howard wrapped up with Jim and gave him some plugs for ''Dumb and Dumber To'' which is opening soon. They went to break after that. As they went to break Fred played Sarah Silverman and Natalie Maines singing a song about Howard at his birthday bash.
Howard said he heard that Pete is in a feud with Gonzo Shitcock. Pete said that he doesn't think what Gonzo did was right and he thinks he indirectly killed Eric the Actor. Howard said that it's a miracle that Eric lived as long as he did. Pete said he's been a radio caller for more than 20 years. He said it's a lack of creativity that Gonzo has. He said that he's using the Wack Pack to get notoriety. Howard asked if they're attacking each other on Twitter. Pete said he's a verbal assassin and he takes people on all the time. He said that Gonzo is a flash in the pan. Howard said he senses that he's upset that Gonzo is getting attention on the show and there may be some jealousy there. Pete said he thinks that Gonzo is like a hack like Shuli is on the news. Pete said that Howard used to hate that kind of reporting that Shuli does. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go after that.
Howard said yesterday he played the David Bowie audio from Ziggy Stardust. Howard said it's like looking behind the curtain. Howard played some of that clip he played yesterday. Howard said he has another look behind the curtain where they have audio of Beetlejuice isolated doing his song ''This is Beetle.'' Howard played that and it's just Beet making up the lyrics as he goes along. Howard said it's even more haunting A Cappella.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she loves Jim Carrey. She said that she's so glad that he broke up with Jenny McCarthy. She said she read that he left her $50 million in a trust fund. Howard said he never read that. Mariann said she read it online.
Howard said that Dumb and Dumber To is a very funny movie. He said he saw the first 40 minutes of it and it was great. Howard said that you get sucked into his performance. He said he really admires Jim. He said he's a very rare talent. Howard said the guy is terrific. Howard said it was kind of startling for him to hear how Hollywood has changed. Howard said he doesn't feel nurtured there anymore. Howard said show business is a money business. Howard said that's the way it works and Jim knows that. Robin said it sounds like he's having trouble putting projects together. Mariann said that he's amazing and she's so glad that he was on today. She said she loved that he said ''dumb has no age.'' Mariann said she loves Howard so much too. Howard said he feels the same way about Jim. Robin said he and Mariann are seeing eye to eye. Howard said they are today. They played Mariann's theme song to play her off.
Howard said they're going to do an autopsy on Ronnie some day sand they'll find his brain in his penis. Howard said they asked Ronnie to do a southern accent for a bit they were doing and he has audio of that. Howard played it and it was Ronnie doing some kind of weird accent but it was nothing close to a southern accent. Howard said it was more of a Boston kind of thing. Howard replayed the clip and let it play a little longer. The accent was really off.
Howard said they were going to do a bit today where they were going to have someone from the AARP come in and welcome Ronnie into it. Howard said the guy they got was really old and he ended up in the hospital after collapsing or something. Howard said now he knows how the producers of The Golden Girls felt. Robin said those women weren't really as old as the women they were playing on that show. Howard said they had a great bit planned today but the guy is in the hospital.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who had a hoarse voice. Hanzi said he's just smoking a cigarette. Howard said he sounds like Elmer Fudd. Hanzi said he has a question for him. Howard said he has a minute to get to his stuff. Hanzi said he can't do this to him. Howard said he has 30 seconds left. Hanzi told him to hold on. Howard said he has 20 seconds left. Hanzi said he needs his help. Howard said ''tick tock fatso.'' Howard counted down the time and Hanzi was in the middle of telling him something he needed help with. Howard said time was up and he hung up on him. Howard said he has to give him a break. He said nothing he says is important.
Howard said he looked up the top 5 songs when Ronnie was born. He said it was Mammy by Al Jolson and things like that. Howard said that he got him a hip replacement as a birthday gift. Howard congratulated Ronnie on that.
Howard said Richard went to Florida to a haunted house. Howard had some audio from the haunted house where people were screaming as they were being scared. Howard said this is real audio too. Howard said he wants to kill himself after hearing that.
Howard played a Howard Stern history moment. They had Dick Cavett talking about Tiny Tim visiting in 1982 for the first time on this date. Howard thanked Dick for doing that even though he gave him a little dig at the end when he said people could be listening to Imus instead.
Howard said Honey Boo-Boo is being taken off the air. Howard said he's got his own Honey Boo-Boo there. He said his name is Benjy.
Howard said Prince is setting his own rules to be on Saturday Night Live. Robin said Chris Rock is the host. Howard said Prince is going to do one song on the show and not two like most artists do. Howard said that he's doing an 8 minute song.
Howard said Chris Rock says that he was never offered to do The Oscars. Howard said people were saying he turned it down but he didn't even get the offer.
Howard said that Marcia Strassman from Welcome Back Kotter died. Howard said that she was way too hot for Gabe Kaplan on that show.
Howard said he was watching FOX News and they have this woman on there who is so hot. Howard said that her name was Mercedes Colwin. Howard said that he feels so bad for the guys on the show. He said they have to look at these hot chicks on the show all the time. Howard said that they had this lawyer on the show who was so hot. Howard said that you just want to fuck her. Howard said he was watching a show about Ebola and all he wanted to do was fuck her. Howard said these guys on the show are ugly like him.
Robin said that Howard didn't go crazy about Jim going into the woods with that Indian chief. Howard said he didn't have time. Howard said Jim can do what he wants. Howard said he goes off on Robin because his livelihood could be affected there. Howard said that he would have gone off on Jim but Gary came in and gave him the hi sign. Howard said he wanted to ask Jim what he was thinking going out there. Howard said he thinks everyone has gone nuts. Robin said she wouldn't even do what Jim did. Howard said he had such a weird feeling when he was describing that vision quest. Howard said he thought that's what Robin was going to do next.
Howard said there has to be a lot of sexual tension there at FOX. Howard said this guy Shepard Smith went on and said Ebola isn't that big of a deal. Howard said he tried to put it into perspective. Howard said he has a clip of him doing that. Shepard was trying to be reasonable in the clip. Robin said there is widespread panic though. Howard said this guy Brian Fisher from the American Family Association came out and called him gay. Howard said they seem to be trying to be like Rush Limbaugh when they speak. Howard said that's what this guy sounds like. Howard said this guy is saying that the Gays like Ebola or something. Howard played more of this guy Brian Fisher talking about Shepard and his political views. Howard told the guy to shut up. He said that he sounds like Rush Limbaugh. Howard said it's just weird that he'd do that.
Howard read some email and someone wrote in about hearing Ted Kennedy from the grave yesterday. Howard said he likes hearing himself doing that voice on the replays. Howard said when he hears it it's like hearing it for the first time. Howard said he doesn't remember what he's done when he hears it. He said he enjoys the show as a listener sometimes. Howard said for the most part he enjoys the show and listening to it. Howard said he would be a listener if he wasn't the host. Howard said the show is actually too good and he'd be jealous.
Howard read an email from a fan who asked if crying is the body's way of crying and not a cold. Robin said there are many ways that the body can express itself.
Howard read an email from a guy from Germany wrote to him and said he stumbled across his work and he can't find the book ''Private Parts.'' Howard said he has no idea how to order it over there. Howard said he has like 3 copies for himself but he won't sell those.
Howard read some email he got about Halloween. Howard said some people agree that it's an asshole holiday.
Howard had Hanzi back on the phone. Howard said he hung up on him. Howard said he had his time and he wasted it. Hanzi told him to hold on. Hanzi said he has something to say. He said he's supposed to do an appearance with Shuli in Vancouver. He said it's at a music festival kind of thing. He said his dad won't have a problem with it but he thinks that Howard might be able to help.
Howard asked what he's trying to say. Howard said he thinks that he's doing a show with Shuli who is on paternity leave. Howard said that's crazy right there. Howard said they discovered that they can do without a person when they go away for a month. Howard said this is a pot festival and Shuli asked Hanzi to go and he has to ask his parents. Howard said you know his parents won't be into that. Hanzi said he knows Howard would prefer that his parents kick him out of the house. Howard said he thinks he should get out and get a job. Hanzi said it's not that simple. Hanzi asked if Howard can help him out with this. He asked him to use his powers to help him ask his parents if he can go. Howard said he'll be pulling for him. Howard said his guess is that his parents will say no.
Hanzi said he's getting paid for this appearance. Howard said he should have a job and his parents would probably like that. Howard said he really has to go. Hanzi asked why he didn't go to him when Amy Poehler was on yesterday. Howard said he didn't even see him on the phone. Howard said he had to go and hung up on Hanzi once again. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
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Ralph said Howard couldn't stop talking about Dumb and Dumber To. Howard said that movie is funny. He said that they have a great combo with the Farrelly brothers and Jim Carrey. Howard said there were some great moments in the movie and they stuck in his head. Howard said that there are so many great moments. He said some are really subtle and you almost miss it.
Ralph said he was in the lobby of Howard's building and saw the Halloween decorations. He said they might be the worst he's ever seen. He said it looks like someone just threw the shit on the walls. Howard said that he's fine with a few Halloween decorations. He said there is no order and it's the most hideous stuff. He said it's like a shitty haunted house. Ralph said it's wrote than that. He said it's just shit stuck on the wall. Ralph said the stupid spider webbing is all over the place. Howard said he gets so distressed with that. Howard said the people in the building don't like it. He said someone with power is behind it there.
Ralph said it's never been that bad. Howard said it has. Ralph said you know all of that shit will be in the dumpster on November 1st. Howard said he complains and nothing happens. Ralph said they have a desk in there and there's a giant skull there. Howard said it's got a light in it though. He said it's all cheap plastic. Howard said they must be using the commons fee money for that crap.
Ralph said he went into the Apple store and the new iPad Air is awesome. He said it's thinner. Howard said he doesn't want that. He said there's reduced glare on the screen too. Howard asked if he bought it. Ralph said he didn't but he's going to sell his on Gazelle and get one. Howard said he will get a new Mini if they make it better. Ralph said he's not into that. They do have a new one though.
Howard said he has a new nurse on the phone who has been quarantined in New Jersey. Howard picked up and had audio of a woman who sounded like she was using a vibrator on herself. Robin asked if she even knows they're on the phone. Howard tried to get her attention but the woman was just moaning and vibrating. Howard said he's not getting through. He said he thinks he has to hang up.
Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey from the Daily News. Marianne said that Amy Poehler was defending JD yesterday but she feels differently about JD. She said that she thinks of JD as being more manly for defending her. Howard asked if she's thinking JD is getting in with women more now that he's doing this. Marianne said that she is. Marianne said that his behavior is very manly and it's making him look good. JD told her to calm down because he's taken. Marianne said she just thinks it's a good thing for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he should lay off JD. He said they have to let JD's relationship ferment. Howard said JD is thrilled. Howard said he's going around bragging about it. Howard said he's flaunting her and throwing her into their face. Howard asked if she's coming to the holiday party. JD said if they're still going out then yes. Howard asked what JD weighs now. JD said he's around 215. Howard asked if he still eats Cheetos for breakfast. JD said no. He said he's been eating peanuts lately. Howard said they're very fattening. Howard said he has to be eating more than that.
Howard said JD has pizza for lunch. JD said sometimes he does. Gary said he has a report. He said he'll go down and have salmon but then a side of macaroni and cheese. Howard said there's nothing worse he could be eating. Howard said he loves macaroni and cheese but he doesn't eat it. Howard asked if he still eats that Chinese stuff. JD said that place closed down for a bit.
Howard got back to talking about FOX News and the hot women they have on the channel. Howard said that they have so many.
Howard said he just got handed a fact about JD. Howard said he gets macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. Howard said he has to understand something. Howard said that he's eating the worst things. Howard said that he can't have both of those things.
Howard ended up going into his parent's voices and talking about eating two starches. He said his parents had to tell him that he was eating the wrong things. Howard said he can't get corn with macaroni and cheese either. Howard asked if he's trying to gain weight. JD said no. Howard said maybe he's pregnant. Howard asked if he wants to be a little bit ripped when his girlfriend sees him nude. JD said he guesses so. JD said she hasn't complained. Howard said she's being nice. JD said she seems to like it.
Howard said JD is really doughy. Howard asked if he keeps the lights out. JD said he keeps them dim. Howard said he keeps them dark for Beth. Howard said he knows enough to do that. Howard said he will pull down the shades and try to create a mood. Howard said that Beth won't fuck him if she sees his ass. Howard said he sees it sometimes and it's crazy bad.
Howard said he wants to see Beth in the light because she looks great. Howard said he doesn't want her to see him though. Howard said Beth might think he's hot because he doesn't show her anything.
The caller, Rich, was still on the line and told Howard about this hot chick on Bloomberg TV. He said that this woman's name is Trish Reagan. JD said she's hot. Howard said JD should Google her and show him a picture. Howard said Rich sounds so much like Melrose Larry Green. He said he's thrown every time he hears him. Rich said he's sorry. Howard said there's no reason to apologize.
Howard said he sees these women who get fired from FOX News when they're not hot anymore. Howard said he wonders how they get away with that. Robin said no one has sued so far that she knows of.
Howard checked out the picture of Trish. Howard said she's hot. Howard said he would put the girls up from FOX against Bloomberg. Robin said they should have a pageant. Howard said he has been in talks to do that. Howard said they could take on CNN and MSNBC and all of that. Howard said they probably have them deported when they get too old.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Bore who said he went to the hospital yesterday. Robin asked what he went for. Jeff said he had to go to get some kind of test done. He had to spell out ''vascular'' because he can't say it. Jeff was able to say it just fine a few seconds later. Jeff was trying to explain why he went but Howard said he was bored and had to go. They played his theme song and Jeff said that has to fucking stop. Jeff said that they were calling him ''Jeff formerly known as the drunk, the bore.'' He said that has to stop. Howard said he has to go. Jeff cursed at him and hung up. Howard said he'll pretend he didn't hear that.
Robin read a story about Hannibal Buress stirring up some dust when he was on the show. She said that he called Bill Cosby a rapist even though he's never been charged with anything. Robin said another woman did come forward though. Howard said that Hannibal was talking about how Cosby has lectured the young comics about using profanity and things like that. Howard said that it does come off as very pompous and preachy. Robin said this woman claims that she was 17 when she had a meeting with Cosby. She claimed that he had her wet her hair and then did an improvisation thing with her while she was closing her eyes and sitting in a chair. Robin said that the woman says that he asked her to act drunk while he stroked her hair and touched her chest. Robin said he didn't touch her beyond that on that day. Howard wondered why any parent would trust any man with their 17 year old daughter. Robin said that she says that she vomited after masturbating Cosby on another occasion. Howard did a live commercial read after that story.
Robin read a story the Honey Boo-Boo show being canceled. Robin said authorities are keeping an eye on the family since Mama June is in a relationship with a convicted child molester.
Robin read a story about the kid in Washington state who shot up his friends actually texted his friends to sit with him at lunch so they'd be around for the shooting. Howard asked if the girl he was trying to shoot. Robin said 3 people including the shooter are dead. Robin said that one of his cousins lived and he says he forgives him. Howard said he doesn't get the forgiveness thing.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if he ever dreamed of being on Saturday Night Live like Jim Carrey. Howard said no. Howard said that show started when he was in college. Howard said the first season was when he was in college. Howard said he remembers watching the show and how it took over culturally. Howard said he only dreamt about being on radio though. Speech asked if Gary is still trying to get Dan Aykroyd on the show. Gary said he is. Howard said he would love to talk to the guy but if he doesn't want to do the show then what can he do. Gary said that he just got contacted and he does want to do the show. They're not on during the time he's available so they're working on that.
Speech was asking about some TV shows and asked when the new True Detective show starts. Howard said he has no idea. Fred did his impression of Speech Impediment Man for a few seconds after that.
Robin read a story about how Rob Ford's brother did not win the election for Mayor in Toronto. Robin read about how Rob Ford will still be in Toronto politics though. Robin said he was elected to city council. Howard said that's something.
Robin read a story about Nik Wallenda doing a blindfold tight rope walk on Sunday night. Robin had some details about the tight rope walk he'll be doing. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from Bobo and said that he's gotten a lot of mail from people asking him not to pick up on him anymore. Bobo said they're just jealous fucks. Fred played his theme song that Little Mikey did about his really bad toupee. Bobo said he hates that song. Howard said people are asking for him to stop taking calls from Bobo, Mariann and King of All Blacks. Howard had a few from fans who say that they're annoying and they have a sense of entitlement. Howard said those two emails were almost identical. Fred said they're not though. He said he evokes that kind of hatred from the fans. Bobo said they should respect him. Howard asked Bobo why they have to respect him. Bobo said it's because he has been a caller for so long and he's dedicated to the show.
Fred asked Bobo how many positive emails he thinks they've gotten about him in the past 6 months. Bobo said maybe 10. Fred played the ''Zero point zero'' clip. He said it's zero. Bobo said they're all just jealous. Fred said Mariann gets some positive stuff but Bobo never does. Bobo said he gets positive feedback on Twitter and places like that.
Howard asked what Bobo wanted to ask. Bobo asked who on the staff goes to therapy. Howard said Robin used to go but she is cured. Fred said he used to go and it helped him immensely. Robin said she's still going. Howard asked Benjy if he goes. Benjy said he goes to a psychologist. Robin said that's because he gets to talk about himself. Benjy said it feels good to be able to cry. He said he feels so light after doing that.
Howard said Richard Christy cries all the time. Howard said he's so mentally ill. Howard said Richard was crying over the Kansas City Royals if they win or lose. He said he started crying just talking about that. Howard said it's remarkable how ill he is. Howard played some audio from yesterday's Wrap Up Show where he broke down crying. Howard said Richard isn't even into the team that much. Howard said he had a relative when he was growing up and he cried all the time. Howard said he was mental and a wreck. Howard said he would just burst into tears.
Richard came in and said that he watches the team during the regular season. He said not much but he does watch. Howard said he's like a child. Richard said he gets happy and emotional. Howard said he's got that and the alcoholism. Howard said that's rampant. Howard asked what he's trying to drown out. Richard said he just enjoys drinking. Howard said maybe he should go to a shrink for his drinking. Richard said he just enjoys it. Howard said maybe he has something he's trying to bury. Richard said he can't think of what it would be. Howard asked how much he drank in Florida. Richard said he had some drinks. He said he doesn't get out of his mind drunk anymore. Howard said that's because he's almost incapable of doing it. Richard said he likes having a little bit of a buzz on. He said it goes hand in hand with fun.
Bobo asked about his liver. Richard said it's fine so far. Howard said he can't have fun without booze. Richard said he has fun at work. Gary said that there is someone there who said he saw Richard pass out at a bar a month ago. Richard said he gets tired sometimes.
Benjy said he has never seen Richard get angry. Howard said he hasn't. Gary said he has. Gary said Richard came in thinking someone was disrespectful to his wife and he was pissed. Howard said he and Ralph think that Richard is retarded. He said he can't believe he doesn't go to a psychiatrist.
Howard asked Gary if he goes to a shrink. Gary said he hasn't gone in a long time but he's going in for a check up next week. Howard said Gary is pretty well grounded. Howard said Jon Hein probably won't go because he thinks he's fine. Howard asked Jon if he goes. Jon said he has gone. Howard said he's shocked by that. Howard asked what his problem was. Jon said it was about the way he eats and how he can't conquer that. Howard said he broke the couch watching TV so he had to go.
Howard asked Bobo if he answered his question. Bobo said he did and asked Fred to play a different song. Fred played the bad toupee song again.
Robin got back to her news and read about Halloween costumes and how ''fat'' isn't a good word to use when describing costumes for fat girls. Robin had some audio of someone from Walmart talking about how they took products off their shelves because of that label. Robin said they're now calling it ''plus size'' costumes.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the origin of some clips Fred plays. One was a clip of a stripper saying ''Vodka straight up! Thank you!'' Howard said that was a stripper who was working at Scores. Howard said that was a fun girl who worked there. He said she was so nice to him there. Howard said when she'd party she'd have vodka. Howard said he found her captivating. The caller said she sounds like Wendy the Retard in that clip. Howard said when you're a horny dude that is the sweetest voice in the world.
The caller also said he wonders about the ''I like to kill deer'' clip. Howard said he's not sure where that came from. Fred said he's not sure where he has that one. Howard said Fred is working on a show around the origins of those clips. Howard said it's going to be a great show. Robin said she thinks that the deer thing was a ringtone. Howard said he thinks it was a ringtone. Howard later said it was David Lynch who sold that ringtone on his web site.
The caller said when Howard got his first PC he painted something of himself fucking the dead skull of Sally Jesse Raphael. Howard said that sounds like something he may not have actually done. Howard said he doesn't remember doing that. Howard said he may have been full of shit or making a joke.
Ralph called in again and said he can't believe Richard beat him in the IQ test. He said he really likes Richard but he seems like a retard. Ralph said he wants a rematch with the IQ test.
Robin read a story about Oscar Pistorius and how prosecutors are going to appeal the case. Howard said it is an outrage. Howard said that whole story is so wild. He said the guy shot through the door of his bathroom saying it was an intruder. Howard asked who does that? Howard said he reminds him of Jon Lovitz playing that guy on SNL who lied all the time. Howard said there are guys who were caught with cocaine who got more time.
Robin read a story about a woman who is on trial for killing her 8 year old son. Her attorney claims that she did it because she loved her son. Robin said she was trying to keep the son out of the father's hands.
Robin read a story about a man who disappeared from his seat during a Broncos game in Denver. Robin said the guy's son went to the bathroom and when he came back his dad was gone and no one has seen him since. Howard said his dad never did anything that bad to him. He said his dad did yell at him and things like that but he never left him alone. Howard said his dad would keep records of the game and he has no idea why. Howard asked why he had to keep track. He asked what that is. Robin said he wasn't that big a fan that he had the cards from a lot of games. Howard said he didn't understand that at all. Howard said now he feels good about all of that after hearing that story Robin read. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Halloween and how people are trying to figure out if they should stay home or go out. Robin said they had a poll that reveals what people will be doing. Howard said he puts a bowl of candy outside his door. He said the kids just take it all within 10 minutes. Howard said that they're on the honor system and they empty the whole bowl. Howard said the bowl is the size of a bathtub and they empty it. Howard said he should put a video camera out there. Robin read about the most popular costumes for this Halloween. Robin said one of them is a witch and Howard said he though that was a costume of him. Robin said there's a sexy Ebola nurse costume that's coming on strong this season.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard has 14 more months left on his contract. Howard said that long huh? Howard said he thinks that's 6 shows. Howard said time sure flies. The caller asked what the good word is. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said they have asked him if he wants to continue on but they haven't had any deep discussion yet. Howard said he'd like to start earlier. He said he'd like to get up at 2am instead of 4am. Howard said he wants to make it so he drops dead on the air. Howard said no one has really gotten down to business yet. The caller said he loved the Ted Kennedy yesterday. He wanted more. Howard let him go after that.
Robin read about what's going on with the Ebola problem in this country. Robin said the nurse who was in quarantine is out and back at home on voluntary quarantine. Robin said there is a child being tested for Ebola now. Robin said they're asking people to remain calm. Robin had some audio of some official talking about that.
Howard said he has another nurse who is in quarantine on the phone. Howard picked up on her and it was the woman using the vibrator and moaning.
Robin read about how the CDC is still saying that Ebola is hard to spread. Robin had audio of an official talking about how it spreads.
Robin read a story about some students who were bullied over Ebola. Robin said there were kids who liked to go to school and get punched until they were called Ebola. Howard said he likes to call Gary Ebola because he clears his throat so much. He named him Ebola Booey.
Robin read a story about a man who is in critical condition after being shot in the face by a toddler. Robin said he had a loaded gun on his pants and the gun fell on the floor. Robin said the gun went off when he tried to get it back from the toddler. Robin said the child wasn't injured but the man was shot in the face.
Robin read a story about a couple that kept a mentally challenged child in a cage. Howard whispered that he does the same with Benjy. Howard said that's how Richard Christy was raised.
Robin read about how ISIS is using a British captive for propaganda. Robin said they make them make statements against their own country. Robin said no one ever buys that. Robin said they have a British journalist who is saying these things. Robin had some audio of the guy making a statement.
Robin read a story about a volcano in Hawaii and the lava is oozing toward some homes. Robin said they can't do anything about it. Robin said the residents are in danger and the homes may go up in flames. Howard said he would never go near a volcano. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about what's going on there. Robin said some people want to stay and watch. Fred played a clip of George Takei saying ''volcanic explosion''. Howard wondered where he got that from. It was from when George was hypnotized and he was talking about ejaculating.
Robin read a story about the NY Jets and had some audio of Rex Ryan talking about who they're going to be playing this week.
Robin read about how the Kansas City Royals could be eliminated from the World Series tonight. Robin said the Giants are up 3-2 in the series.
Robin said Soundgarden revealed a new song this week. Robin said it's called Storm. Howard said he loves these guys. He said that they are so good. Robin had some of their new song. Howard played that and said he doesn't know what that is. He said he'd have to listen to that and get into it.
Robin read about what Prince will be doing on SNL on Saturday. Howard said he's sick of Prince getting his way. Howard said he loves some of his music but he is an arrogant guy. Howard said someone has to just say no to him. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:15am.
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Jon said JD got some crap for what he eats. JD said he's going to continue eating like he wants. He said he doesn't eat at that place every day. Gary asked if he's on any kind of diet. JD said he's not. He said he feels like trying once in a while. JD said he's not thrilled with how he looks right now. He said he's walking more than he ever was. Gary said he thinks JD looks like a sick patient in the video where he almost drowns. He said he was insanely skinny in that. JD said he didn't think so. He said his brother was even skinnier. Jon said that as you get older you do tend to get fatter with the metabolism change.
JD said this place downstairs was doing the macaroni and cheese thing every day. That's what got him into that. Jon said that Howard was saying that he wants Beth to be into him so he stays in shape. Jon asked if JD and his girlfriend have an unconditional love. JD said he'd like to be better looking for himself but it's not a top priority right now.
Jon said Howard is disciplined enough to stop from eating now. He said back in the day his parents used humiliation to stop him from eating. Gary said Howard does respond when people talk about him. He said that he used to talk about going to see the Stones in Washington DC and someone behind him said ''Hey, sit down fat ass'' and Howard realized they were talking to him.
Jon said JD is very disciplined when it comes to work. JD said he tries. Jon asked JD if it was coincidental that he got the girlfriend around the same time he started walking more. JD said it was a coincidence.
Gary asked if the girlfriend likes to do outside stuff. JD said she does. He said she wants him to do a 5K. JD said that she says he could even walk during it. JD said she's running a half marathon. Gary asked if that's weird for him. JD said he just says ''good for you'' when she comes back. Gary asked if he thinks about doing that with her. JD said that's her thing. Jon asked if he would do a 5K. JD said he doesn't see that happening. He said he has other things he'd like to focus on. Jon asked what those things are. JD said they're things for work and stuff like that.
Steve Brandano said that Richard is an insane runner. He said he'd like to see everyone on the staff do a walk or run thing. He wondered if Howard would be impressed if Richard won that whole thing. Gary said that doesn't mean he's any smarter. Gary said that it doesn't help him with his drinking either. Jon said he doesn't think that it would change the way Howard feels about anyone. He said Gary runs a lot too and it doesn't seem to change Howard's thoughts on him.
Jon said that he thinks people would finish in a 5K but it might be the time to finish that would matter. Steve said he walked the Boston Marathon route once. He said he's not sure he could do that now. He said Richard could probably do that but he wonders where the staff drops off. Jon said on the third block is where some would drop off. Gary said he thinks Jason would be all pumped to go but then he doesn't know what would happen.
Steve kept pushing for the staff to do a walk. Jon asked if JD would be up for it. JD said if he has to he would. Jon said he doesn't have to. JD said he'll see. Gary said he doesn't think JD gives a shit. JD said if he has to do it he'll do it. Jon asked if it would spark a competitive fire in him. JD said it might. He said if it really happens then he might. JD said it would be for the show ultimately.
Jon said JD also revealed that he will be bringing his girlfriend to the holiday party. Jon asked if he made that decision today. JD said they have talked about it. He said that she has met some people there but not all of them. He said that he will bring her and introduce her to people there. Jon said he thinks he needs a plan on how to prep her for some people. Gary said he gets that. JD said she listens to the show and she knows how everyone is. He's not sure he needs a plan.
Gary said when they were at one party at the old place they had someone there who was very high up in the company. Gary said that one of the wives of the staff went up to him and started asking where he lived. She found out how nice the area was and she said to him ''I'd like a piece of that.'' That's the kind of stuff you might need to prep a person for. They had to take a break after that.
Jon asked Ronnie if he feels that he's getting near the end. Ronnie said he's getting to the down stretch. Gary said if Howard signs another contact Ronnie will be over 70 when they end. He said he's known him so long and that's strange to him. Ronnie said maybe he won't be there.
Jon said Ronnie is probably the most horny guy on the show. He said that it seems to be more a state of mind than how long you've been here. Ronnie said that it's the way you act and you can hang out with people in their 30s and 40s. He said he does that and he has to keep up with them. He said he has no problem with that right now. He said it kind of depresses him to think about what might happen. Jon asked what he's talking about. Ronnie said he's just thinking about what could happen down the line. He said he could ask Stephanie what she's doing with him and tell her to pack her things and get out. Gary said he should just enjoy what he has. Ronnie said he is but he has things in his head like he's holding his girlfriend back in her life. He said they had a blast in Mexico but it's a whole different scene now. He said that it's not a big deal in the city but on Long Island people will ask if she's his daughter. Ronnie said in the city that doesn't happen. Gary said they aren't saying it to break his balls. Ronnie said if you don't know then don't say anything.
Jon asked JD what he thinks about Ronnie and hanging with him. JD said Ronnie could party him under any table.
Jon said Ronnie seems to be having a great time. Ronnie said he gets along with her great and he's really proud of what she's doing now. He said she might go to school to become a vet now. He said he doesn't want to hold her back from anything like that. He said he wants her to do what she wants to do. Jon asked if has thought about retiring. Ronnie said not really. He said he thinks he would go crazy. Ronnie said he would keep working even if he retired. He said maybe he'll retire and go to Vegas to work in a strip club or something.
Jon asked Ronnie about that southern accent he did in that bit Howard played. Ronnie said he was asked to read it with a southern accent. Jon asked how he can't do a southern accent after spending a ton of time down there. Jon said JD can do it. JD demonstrated. Ronnie tried again but he still didn't quite have it. Jon said he watches Dallas and he must hear it on there. Ronnie watches Nashville too. Ronnie said that's Stephanie's show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to wish Ronnie a happy 85th. Ronnie thanked him for that.
Gary asked Jon what his wife makes him watch. Jon said she started him on The Good Wife but he's come around on that. He said he's also watching The Affair. Gary said that show is really depressing. Ronnie said Scandal is really good. Jon said he watched the first season. He said his wife usually watches what he wants to watch. Gary said he watches Saturday Night Live. Jon said he retired from that a long time ago. Gary said he thought the Bill Hader show was really good but it got the lowest ratings in a long time.
Jon asked JD if he's watching anything for his girlfriend. JD said she's into Dr. Who but he hasn't gotten into that yet. He said they watch Adult Swim and Comedy Central type stuff. They went to break after that.
Jon said that he doesn't think that he was projecting at all. He said that sounds like a direct quote. JD asked about Batman Forever and said that maybe Tommy was trying to be in character or something. He said that it was interesting to hear that. Gary said the Ty Cobb story is really interesting but he's never watched it. JD said it's really good actually. JD said he wants to see the making of Man on the Moon. He said he has to see that somehow. Jon said he agrees with him on that.
Jon said it was great to hear Jim telling the story about his vision quest. Jon asked if Gary has any desire to do anything like that. Gary said he doesn't at all. He said that it sounds like that show Naked and Afraid that he likes.
Jon asked Ronnie if he would want to do anything like that. Ronnie said no. He said he has no reason to. Gary told Jon not to talk to Cranky today.
Jon played another clip of Jim talking about his vision quest and talking about how it ended with the chief on the mountain.
Gary said those sweat lodge things never look like fun to him. JD said he doesn't even want to smoke weed so he wouldn't want to do something like that. Gary said that you need to do that stuff when you're single. He said for a father and a husband to do it is kind of selfish. Gary said that you're putting yourself in some danger too.
Jon asked JD if he would be too scared to do it. JD said he'd be afraid of losing his mind. He said he'd be worried he'd be a complete wreck. He's never even smoked weed. Ronnie seemed shocked by that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the sweat lodge thing is like a thing where you go in and pray. He said that you do see things. Gary said that doesn't mean that everyone has the same experience. The guy said that they have the lodge at 150 degrees. Gary said that's not even safe. Jon asked if you're in the right frame of mind to make that decision. The caller said you are.
Jon said Howard really enjoyed the movie and Jim told him how much he enjoyed Private Parts. Gary said Jim did say they should do a movie together. Gary said he's not sure what it would be but it could be really funny. Ronnie said he could do Fartman. JD said he's not sure Howard even wants to do a movie. He said he's not going to put out shit.
Jon asked Ronnie if he would consider doing another film. Ronnie said he's in talks to do another one. He said it's there in New York and it would be a Mafia guy. JD laughed when he heard that. Jon asked if he has an accent. Ronnie did a voice that made JD laugh again. Gary said he loves that a guy who isn't Italian is going to play a Mafia guy. Ronnie said there were Jewish Mafia guys.
Jon had Mike Hambrick give them his Howard 100 News headlines. Mike ran down a bunch and Jon had the guys get in their plugs and ended the show around 11:05am.
Howard started the show taking a call from Gay Ramone. Ramone said he's getting married but it's very difficult down in North Carolina. He asked Howard if he could help and get Mark Consuelos to marry them. Howard said it made sense to be married by him for him but not for Ramone. Howard said he doesn't have a connection to Ramone. Howard said Mark doesn't do that regularly. Howard said he did see him up there the other day. Ramone said he's fucking hot.
Ramone told Howard he uses the Squatty Potty and for power bottoms like him it works great. He said the shit comes right out. Howard asked if he has AIDS. Ramone laughed and said no. Howard said he thought he had heard he had AIDS. Howard said must be thinking of someone else. Ramone said he never said that on the show. Gary told Howard it's Gay Tony and not Ramone. Ramone kept saying he didn't say that on the show. Howard said he knows, it's gay Tony. Ramone said he's in good health.
Ramone said he moved and left everyone, including his kids, up in New York. Howard asked how he has kids. Ramone said he's told him about that before. Howard said he didn't remember.
Ramone said he still watches straight porn. Howard said he had a friend over the other day and the guy is a nice guy. He said he is a homosexual and they were talking about watching porn. He said the guy told him he watches straight porn too. Howard said he thought he was trying to fit in with the guys but that's not his M.O. Howard said it's apparently true though. Howard said that he gave the guy such a hard time over that. Howard asked why he would do that.
Ramone said what turns him on is when it's a black guy fucking a tight white pussy. He said he looks at the dude. Howard said he tries to block the guy out.
Howard said he doesn't think that Mark can do the wedding thing but he wished Ramone luck. Howard said Mark is probably listening. Howard let Ramone go a short time later.
Howard took a call from Bobo and Fred played a theme song Little Mikey did about not picking up on Bobo. Howard asked what his question was. Bobo asked who he thinks could finish a 5K run on the staff. Howard said he sees Bobo on the line at 5:45 in the morning. Howard said that Gary told him that they talked about that on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Bobo can't even come up with an original question. Howard said Gary told him that they went over that and now Bobo is bringing it up. Bobo said he's doing that on Howard's show.
Howard played some clips of people talking about Bobo being the worst caller ever and to never call in again. Bobo said he hates these people. He said they're not fans. Bobo said Howard has said he isn't going on Twitter anymore because of people like that.
Howard told Bobo that Fred showed him the email they get about Bobo and how people are coming out against him and hoping that Bobo and Mariann go away. Howard said that Bobo did get some positives though. Howard told Bobo about one where a guy said he appreciates Bobo's enthusiasm for the show. He had one from a guy who said he's a high school drop out and Bobo makes him feel smart.
Howard said he got a couple of other positive emails. He had another one where the guy says that he wants him removed from the air now. Howard played the clip of Eric Andre goofing on Bobo when he was in the office last week.
Howard said he gave Bobo a good whooping. Bobo said that was great. Howard said Bobo didn't like that. Bobo said these emails have to stop. He asked if Fred is doctoring them up. Fred said he was actually being easy on Bobo. He said there are more. Howard read more of the email and said there are people who do like his calls. Howard read one about a guy who was happy that Bobo was having problems with his hair down in Florida.
Howard said there was a pro Bobo rally yesterday. Howard played a clip of nothing but animals making noise. There were no people in the clip.
Howard said Bobo does have some admirers. Bobo said these people have to calm the fuck down. He said a true fan enjoys the good and the bad. Howard asked if Bobo is the bad. Bobo said he's not. He said Howard has wondered why people hate him on the show too. Howard said okay to that. Fred played the ''Really Bad Toupee'' song by Little Mikey.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Bobo. He asked if he was still on the line. Bobo was still there. The caller asked if he still has his shrine. Bobo said he does. He said he posted it on Twitter. Howard let Bobo go a short time later.
Howard said Bobo is like a bald lightning rod. He said his wife called into the Wrap Up Show the other day. He had some audio of that. Robin said she's never heard her before. Bobo's wife, Dawn, was talking about what Bobo is like when he doesn't get on the air and things like that. She also talked about how Bobo kept a secret about being a huge Howard Stern fan.
Howard said Bobo had to break the news to her about his toupee like she didn't know. Howard said that it looks like a patch of straw on his head. Howard said there's no way that woman didn't know that was a toupee. Howard said that's so great. He said he loves Bobo.
Howard played another Bobo song parody to the tune of ''Lola.'' Howard played more of Bobo talking about the toupee thing. He told Gary and Jon that he would do whatever Howard wanted him to do with it over what his wife wants him to do.
Howard played a clip where Bobo talked about what the humidity does to the toupee. He talked about the trouble he has to go through to take care of it now that he's in Florida.
Howard said those are Bobo's problems. Howard played a prank call the guys made to a radio show using Bobo audio clips. They had him talking about the lesion he had on his liver.
Howard said that's funny on so many levels. He said they probably never get any calls. Howard said they tell him that he's better and he's going to be fine. He said it's so irresponsible. Howard said then they're telling him not to curse. Howard said they want to talk to him but he isn't allowed to curse. Howard said it's all so great. He said that call was ''off the roof''.
Howard said that he has to take a break. He said he had some dreams last night that he has to talk about in therapy. He said his psychiatrist is going to think that he will ruin it if he talks about it with Robin. Howard said he has to save it.
Howard said he was watching FOX news yesterday waiting to see if anyone noticed what he said about their anchors. He said no one said anything. Howard said there's this guy Greg Gutfield that he likes and he has a co-host that's really hot. Howard said the guy seems to be enamored with her. Howard said he thinks the guy has beaten off a few times to her. Howard said they have a blond and a dark haired woman on there. JD said that it's Kimberly Guilfoyle. Howard said she's hot too. JD mentioned another one who is really hot on there. Howard said he likes the other two.
Howard said he listens to that guy Greg and some other guys on FOX News. Howard said that the women know stuff and they're hot. Robin said they may not know a lot. Howard said he thinks they do. He said they can't be feeding them all of that stuff. Howard said that he can't pay attention when a hot chick is there. He said hot chicks cloud his judgment. Howard said he would have deep conversations with strippers. He said they didn't care but he was learning about them. Howard said he was busy talking to women who were willing to take their clothes off for him.
Howard said FOX News is all of these hot chicks and monstrous looking guys. He said they should start their own network like that. Gary came in to talk about something. Howard told him to hold on. He said he had a meeting with Gary yesterday about what he wants done and he may have confused him.
Howard said he came right between Ebola and the ISIS story on FOX News. Howard said he was talking about something and he forgot thanks to Gary coming in.
Howard said he was going to tell Robin about the story he saw about using baby wipes. Howard said he hates that because he has to use baby wipes. Howard said he has to walk over to get the wipes. Howard said he's so proud when he has a doody that comes out nice. He said he waits until the last minute to take a doody. He said he's so proud of himself. Howard said he walks over to get the wipes and he pushes his finger all the way up his butt hole. He said he makes sure it's all out of there. Howard said he doesn't want any doody in there. Howard said then he realized they have chemicals on those things. Howard said he was thinking about that. He said that they must have some that don't have chemicals on them. Howard said sometimes when he's painting he cleans up with them and they pull the paint right up. He said that's what he's wiping his asshole with. Howard said he uses water colors and the palate gets messy so he uses the wipe to wipe it up. Robin said people are using those on babies too.
Howard asked Robin what she does. Robin said there are disposable wash cloths. Robin said they're thicker than paper towels. Robin said they're dry. Robin said you can just run some water. Robin said she has a waste can that she uses. Howard said Robin's poor house keeper. Robin said it's lined with plastic. Robin said that she doesn't have as much as Howard but that's what she does. Robin said she uses toilet paper first. Howard said he would do that but he has to be able to flush. Robin said she uses these wash cloth things to clean up. Howard laughed. Robin said all this woman has to do is take the plastic and throw it away. Howard said he has a lot of brown. He said it looks like a Rorschach. Howard said he didn't know that's what Robin was up to.
Howard said he has to come over and see what Robin is up to. Howard said he's thinking of going in a litter box. Howard asked who ties up her doody bag. Robin said it's not a whole doody. Robin said it doesn't smell or anything. Robin said she observes what's going on. Robin said the woman wears gloves. Howard said he flushes his baby wipes. Howard said he knows it will clog up his cesspool. Howard said he doesn't care though. Howard said the first one is the worst. He said animals are able to shit without making a mess. Howard said he doesn't get it. Howard said the Squatty Potty gives him a full elimination but even then he has to clean up. Howard said he has the Toto toilet with the water jet. He said he still has to check and he still finds a ton of doody. Robin said she doesn't have that issue. She said it's a minor thing. Howard said she's a show off.
Howard said he saw there was a recall for some baby wipes. Howard said he wanted to check them but he didn't want to go up and do it. He said he's too lazy to check. Howard said he just keeps using them. Howard said he rarely has a recalled item that he owns. Howard said even with the Tylenol recall he didn't have to worry.
Robin said Howard has to be careful with those wipes. She said skin is an absorbent thing and it will take those chemicals in even if he's not sticking his finger up there.
Howard took a call from a guy, Zach, who was calling from the shower. Zach said that the show has been fantastic lately. Howard thanked him for that. The caller also thanked him for playing his song yesterday. That was the ''Rear Entrance'' song that they played. Howard played it again since he mentioned it. Robin said everything about it is bad. Howard said that's what's great about it. Howard asked how long that took him to write. He accidentally hung up on Zach. Howard asked Gary to get him back real quick. Howard said he wanted to ask about how long it took.
Howard said he's not sure if Zach knows he's funny because he's so bad at singing. Robin said he goes wrong from the first note. Howard replayed the song again. Howard said he really had to take a break. He told Gary to forget about getting him back. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said he was watching the Foo Fighters special ''Sonic Highways'' and it's really good. He said he thought it was going to be boring but it turned out to be really interesting.
Howard read about how Jose Canseco shot his finger off with a gun. He wondered what he was doing with a gun.
Howard had Robin's housekeeper on the phone. Howard picked up and had a woman doing a voice playing the part of Robin's housekeeper talking about how she has to clean up Robin's ''sheets'' paper. Howard said it's amazing that she does this. The housekeeper said Robin goes about 8 or 9 times a day. Howard asked what she makes of that. The Housekeeper said she's not sure how she does it. She said she has a TiVo and a fax machine in her bathroom. Howard heard a voice in the back so he asked if that was Captain Dennis. She said it was.
Robin said that this isn't anything that she didn't do for others. Robin said she was a nurse and had to clean up after people. The housekeeper asked the government to deport her to get her out of this. Howard thanked her for calling and let her go.
Howard said Mike Tyson will be in soon. Howard said he played a David Bowie clip the other day. Howard said he played the Beetlejuice behind the scenes clip and one of their fans did a mash up of Bowie and Beetle. Howard played that and said ''Wow!'' when he heard it. Howard said Richard actually put that together.
Howard said he was talking about FOX News and the hot chicks on there. He said Megyn Kelly looks hot. He said he has a scene they'd like to hear on FOX News. Howard played a clip of Megyn talking with a guy beating off to her as she's talking to him.
Robin asked if Howard knows how she spells her name. She said she must be really taken with herself spelling it Megyn.
Howard said Jeff Levy the vomit guy called them about the Ebola thing. Howard said that he's afraid to have anyone vomit on him now because of the Ebola. Howard played a clip of Jeff's voice mail. He said he really misses that hot puke. Robin said she might vomit hearing that.
Howard said they're going to create a 5 minute sitcom where they take clips of dead Wack Packers and put them in it. Howard said they really have to put Big Foot into those. He said he loves that guy. He said they did an interview with Big Foot for Howard 100 News. JD said something over his intercom and no one knew what he said.
Howard asked JD if he likes the attention he gets with his girlfriend on the air. JD said no. Howard said he thinks he does. Howard said she must want the attention too. JD said they can think what they want to think. Howard said she answered those questions they gave her. JD said she did that for him because they asked him to do it.
Howard said Big Foot revealed he had sex with a she-male the other night. Howard played the clip of Big Foot talking about how he had sex with a woman who has a dick between her legs. Big Foot said she has tits and no fucking ''agina''. Howard said that's a guy, not a chick with a dick. Howard said that if she has no ''agina'' then she's not a woman.
Howard said the story became even more interesting. Howard played a clip of Big Foot talking to Jon Leiberman who asked if he was proud of it. Big Foot said he's not proud. He said he doesn't usually do that with a he-she. He didn't use a condom and he fucked her in the ass. Howard said god knows where this is all going on. Howard said he wonders where he lives. Robin said you wonder who these people get to sleep with. Howard said just imagine what the he-she guy looked like. Howard said the plot gets even thicker. He played a clip of Big Foot talking about how he met the guy at a Dunkin' Donuts. Big Foot asked him to go back to his place. Big Foot paid him with a movie and a poster from Jersey Shore Massacre. Big Foot
Howard said that was a fascinating story. Robin said she still has questions. Howard said they could do 2 hours on that.
Tommy asked if Richard hooked his father up with World Series tickets. Howard said he doesn't know and he has to go. Howard played him out with a theme song about Tommy.
Howard read a story about the baby wipe recall. Howard said they are contaminated with bacteria. Howard said they investigated after people complained about an odd smell. Howard said his smell bad but after he uses them.
Howard took a call from Wheels who asked what would be worse, Beth being pregnant or Howard having cancer. Howard said of course the cancer is worse. Howard said no one should have cancer. Howard said that Robin got lucky and beat it. Howard said he's not sure that he could beat it. Robin said it's difficult to beat it even if you do.
Howard said the cancer thing must have fucked with her head. Robin said she never thought she was going to be dead. She said other people did. She said people were feeling a lot worse for her than she was for herself. Robin said it wasn't going to be a big deal for her even if she didn't make it. Howard said he was being a big pussy with Beth because of Robin.
Wheels asked when Beth last had multiple orgasms. Howard said he thinks that it was recently. Wheels asked if he was there. Howard said now he's just trying to be funny. Wheels asked if he's ever had his face 3 inches from his wife's clit. Howard said he has but he doesn't look that closely at it. Howard said he does what he has to do. Wheels said that's what he's worried about. He asked ''what about her?'' Howard said he really has to go. He wanted out of that conversation. They played a theme song for Wheels and went to break.
Howard said they must really need the business at that place. Howard said they're willing to deliver to the Ebola house. Howard said the were willing to lower the guy into the basement with the food. Howard said that's pretty wild. Robin agreed.
Howard read an email from someone who asked if they got rid of the Halloween decorations in his building after he complained. Howard said he thinks that Zacharly and Elvira are his landlords.
Howard said yesterday was Ronnie's birthday. He turned 65. He said he went out and played Bingo and when he blew out the candles on his cake his teeth fell out. Howard said Ronnie was on the Wrap Up Show talking about the age difference between him and his girlfriend. Howard said he's not having a good time with his 65th birthday. Howard said he's a little bit deeper than they think he is.
Howard said they were talking about Prince playing an 8 minute song on SNL this week. Howard said someone wrote in saying that even Phish thinks that's excessive.
Howard said they were talking about Hanzi cumming in his shirt and comparing it to countries. Howard said he did one this week to see if he could cum in the shape of Hawaii. Howard picked up on Hanzi and Hanzi had no idea what he was talking about. Hanzi said last time he said it looked like Prince Edward Island. Howard said he has to see what shape that is so he knows what Hanzi's cum looks like.
Howard said Hanzi got a lot of hate mail yesterday. Howard said people are upset with him for being such a bore on the show. Howard read an email from someone who said that he's a boil on the ass of life.
Howard asked Hanzi what he has today. Hanzi asked if he really thinks that Greg Gutfield is funny. Howard said he is. Howard said he likes him. Hanzi said he's a racist asshole. Gary came in with a picture of Prince Edward Island and said that it's huge. Howard said Hanzi must have some load. Howard said it's really big. Howard said that's something. Robin was impressed. Hanzi said she should let him fuck her.
Hanzi asked if he's going to have C.M. Punk on his show. Howard told him to stop asking about that. Howard said he has had enough of him. Howard said he doesn't even know who that CM Punk guy is. Hanzi said he does too. Howard said he really doesn't. Howard hung up on Hanzi.
Howard said he has a new song parody about JD from Daniel Mendelson. Howard played the song which was a bunch of mumbles. Howard said he loves it. Robin did too. Howard said it's better when JD is in there.
Howard said he was talking about how to make baseball more exciting. He said that he mentioned putting tigers on the field. He had a clip the guys put together to show how that would sound. Howard said he would watch that.
Howard said he has a headline about Melissa Rivers hiring a law firm to find out how her mother died. Howard said he'd like to know what happened. Robin said it sounds like there was a lot of confusion there. Howard said he doesn't like law suits and he tries not to do that but sometimes you have to. Howard said that when someone dies you really have to file a lawsuit.
Howard said that's such a great story. He said not everyone wants to hold the owner's hand. Howard said it's crazy stuff. Howard said he loves that clip. He said he loves those kind of guests who tell you everything. He said they don't give a shit.
Howard asked what's going on with the NY Jets. He asked how a New York team can be so bad. Howard said he thinks they want a great team but they're not doing it by spending money. Gary came in to talk about that since he's a Jets fan. Howard said it's weird to him to hear grown men screaming about this stuff. He said there are fans who get really upset. Howard said Mike Francesa was talking about it and screaming like a baby. Howard said he doesn't get that. He said that it's not worth getting so upset about. Howard played a clip of Francesa talking about the Jets. Howard said he's like the Rush Limbaugh of sports radio.
Gary said there are guys who end up throwing shit in bars when they are watching a gam. Howard said they need help. Robin said this is how sports becomes so lucrative. Howard said we sound so stupid when you're talking about sports like this. Howard said you can enjoy it but not start yelling about it. Howard said you can love it without getting so upset. Howard said you have to mellow the fuck out.
Gary said he has seen men cry when their team loses. Howard said he knows. He said Will went to a game and beat up a woman at a game. Howard asked Will if that woman was pregnant. Will came in and said that they used to do horrible things to people at games. He said he doesn't think that woman was pregnant. He said that she was wearing a Vikings jersey and he just jumped on her back. He said she started screaming and he just ran off. He said this was a very long time ago.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said people will spend so much time writing something negative over something positive. Howard hung up on her in the middle of a sentence.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he felt bad for Ronnie yesterday. He said that he hates to be blunt but she's wasting her life with him. Howard said that's what Ronnie is feeling. Howard said it was a very heavy discussion on the show. Howard said he told Ronnie he was proud of him for showing some empathy for her.
King asked if something happened to Ronnie like he died. He said she's not going to get another old guy. Howard said he's not sure if she would or not. Howard said it sounds like Ronnie was trying to reconcile the whole thing and make it so he can leave her something without any conflict if something does happen to him. Robin said they could do with his body like they have with Casey Kasem's body. Howard asked if they have any word from Casey. Gary said he's working on getting him on.
Howard said Ronnie must be out helping get Mike Tyson in there. Howard said he'd ask him to come in if he was around. Robin said she went into Scott's studio yesterday and Ronnie was giving her a hard time. She said she just told him to sit there and keep aging. Howard said he thinks it's funny that Ronnie is Mike Tyson's security right now.
Howard took a call from Casey Kasem's corpse who said he's at the Playboy mansion and he's getting a blow job from a 22 year old. His cock broke off in her mouth as he was talking to Howard. Howard said the playmates thought he was Hugh Hefner. Casey confirmed that and said he'd talk to him soon. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that Mike Tyson is there to promote his new cartoon ''Mike Tyson Mysteries.'' Howard said it's very funny. Mike said Howard should do the show. Howard said he might have to. Howard said he has Norm MacDonald on the show with him. Mike said he hasn't met the guy yet. Howard said he knows Norm well and he's a very funny guy. Howard asked if they all get together to act it out. Mike said they do periodically. He said if they're in Los Angeles they do it together but not Norm. He said that Norm never comes in. Mike said he's not sure what he even looks like. Howard said he used to be on Saturday Night Live. Howard said what they're not telling Mike is that Norm is actually a pigeon.
Howard asked who masterminded this cartoon thing. Mike said it must have been some execs at Warner Brothers. He said this guy came to his house in Las Vegas and told him about this cartoon. Mike said he didn't want to do a carton. He said the writers said they didn't want to do that either. He said they did a few episodes and he was half assed at it. He said when he saw the footage he was blown away. Mike said he got into it after that.
Howard said he loves that he's dressed up as a cowboy. He said they can knock that stuff out pretty quick and they come back with it. Mike said he has 20 more episodes left to do.
Howard asked if he's a cartoon guy. Mike said he is. He said he grew up on Popeye and Tom & Jerry and stuff like that.
Howard said a lot of people do a Mike Tyson impression and it's always a high voice. Howard asked if he's upset by that. Mike said most don't do it very well. He said Jamie Foxx does it well. He said girls do it better because of his high voice.
Howard asked if it's true that Jamie Foxx is going to play him in a movie. Mike said he has had meetings with Jamie already. He said he came over with his honchos and they discussed it. Mike said Jamie did him in front of him in 86 or 87. He said he was an up and coming comedian at the time. Mike said this was at a stand up thing where he just started doing him. He said he was in the audience at the time.
Howard said he read that he wants Kevin Spacey to play Cus D'Amato. mike said he never said that. Howard read that Helen Miren would play his adoptive mother. Howard asked if that's true. Mike said he has no idea. He said all he knows is that they want to do it. He said Martin Scorsese was mentioned but that's about it. He said that's as far as it's gotten.
Howard said Mike has made millions for people and he still needs money. Howard said that Mike made all of this money and he doesn't have much now. Mike said that he isn't bitter now. He said he's just going on with his life. He said he's there with Howard now. He said at one point he wanted to kill Howard. Howard asked why. Mike said he was talking some shit about him. Howard said he would have loved to have talked to him at the height of his career. Mike said this is the height of his career.
Howard said Mike converted to Muslim and he wonders what he thinks about these people using the name of Islam. Howard said there are people who are getting self radicalized there in this country. Howard asked Mike if he's livid about this. Mike said he's just appalled at what they're doing by cutting people's heads off. He said he doesn't know anything about it. Mike said it's just bad stuff.
Howard asked Mike if he goes to a mosque and things like that. Mike said he does. He said that it's putting a black mark on the Muslims but not everyone is like that. He said that you can't help but love and respect the people you meet who are Muslim. He said there are people who are Christians who are in the KKK. He said religion isn't bad, it's the people who make it bad. Howard asked if he has a Muslim name. Mike said it's Malyk. He said that he loves his given name though.
Howard asked Mike if he's mentally ill. Mike said he's there talking to Howard so he must be. Howard asked if he really does suffer from it. Mike said he thinks he does. He said that he gets into his depressed modes too. Robin asked if he's on medication. Mike said he's not. Howard said that stuff makes him blow up.
Howard said Mike knew Robin Williams. Mike said he has been at meetings with him. He said that people with their condition end up meeting. Mike said he met Robin and he knew all of these people he knew who were drug dealers. He said they all know the same people.
Howard asked Mike if it scared him that Robin killed himself. Mike said it did. He said you never know what could happen. He said that when you're depressed of course you think of depression. Mike said that Robin killed the wrong person. He said it's supposed to be about killing that depression. Mike said drugs are like food to depressed people. He said he's clean now but it's a constant fight. Mike said that dog is going to come back and knock on the door.
Howard asked Mike if coke and heroin is like food to him then he needs to eat. Howard said it seems really insurmountable that he was able to kick it. Mike said that you have to be in the fight with everything you have. Howard said Robin must have lost his fight. Mike said it's a bad situation and he doesn't like to look at it that way. Howard asked if it's weird to be in a meeting and get up to talk. Mike said you feel very safe there. Howard asked if he worries about a tape recording coming out. Mike said that you can't have secrets. He said you have to be honest.
Howard asked if it's tough seeing Robin Williams there. Mike said there are people in those meetings that are even more successful. He said it doesn't matter how rich or famous you are. He said addiction just wants you to be miserable.
Howard asked if Mike hates it when people call him ''champ.'' Mike said that it's very cliche. He said that you want to get away from that and do something different.
Howard said he never hears anyone talking about boxing anymore. Robin said other than Floyd Mayweather that's true. Mike said someone needs to get into some trouble and then it'll bring attention to it. Howard said it was great when Mike was fighting and he seems to have been the last big draw. Mike said that he hopes it comes back. He said that Floyd is still the best paid athlete in the world.
Howard said he can't even throw a punch properly. He asked if Mike wonders how that's possible. Mike said they all look at fighting and they think of it as something spiritual. Howard said you can't just do it though. He said someone had to teach Mike. Mike said that's true.
Howard asked if Mike got hypnotized before fights. Mike said he did. He said the guy is like 100 years old now and he used to put him under. He said he's been doing that since he was 14 years old. He said Cus D'Amato could do it too. He said he was an amateur hypnotist. Howard asked what they would tell him to do when he was under. Mike said it's all about how visualizing things. He said he was made into a killing machine. Howard asked if that was a secret weapon. Mike said it wasn't a secret. He said everyone knew about it. Mike said some people can't be hypnotized so they couldn't do the same thing. Howard asked if there were fights where he wasn't hypnotized. Mike said there were a bunch.
Howard asked Mike about how he took a picture with a guy who turned out to be a wanted man. Mike said this guy took a picture with him and a few weeks later the FBI came to him. He said he wondered what he did wrong. He said he went there and they told him that this man he took a picture with was a murderer. Howard said it's weird that he had a legitimate job. Mike said he was a reporter and he took a picture with him. Howard said it's a good thing that the guy liked him.
Howard asked where that guy is now. Mike said he's doing some serious time. He said he's a very interesting guy. He said he was very funny and interesting and you'd never expect it.
Mike was talking about how he's still a kid inside. He said that he still plays video games and stuff and he hates to be interrupted. He said that he'll tell his wife to tell someone to call him back later while he's playing.
Mike is a boxing promoter now and Howard said Mike didn't need that when he was a big draw. Mike said some people need that. He said that you have to push them to do some things. He said they just want to go in and fight.
Howard asked if he understands Don King now. Mike said that Don wasn't doing it in the right way. He said he wanted to be rich and famous.
Howard asked Mike about helping a guy in a motorcycle accident. Mike said you never think that's going to end up in the newspaper. Mike said this guy went down on his motorcycle. Mike said he went down once and it wasn't the same way. He said this guy went down quick. Mike stopped riding after his crash. Mike said he still has pain in his shoulder from his accident. He said he had jeans and boots on. He said when it threw him he was sliding and his pants were shredded when he was done sliding. Howard said that's frightening. Howard said that he is scared when he sees guys riding. Mike said it makes you feel like superman with the rush from riding.
Mike said the guy who crashed that he saw really hit hard. He said he made the guy stay on his back and told him not to move. The guy was in a lot of pain. Mike said he did stop for a second and asked ''Is that Mike Tyson? Am I dead?'' He asked to take a selfie with him. Howard asked if he's afraid of getting into a law suit when he tries to help someone. Mike said all he knew was the guy needed help. He said he's a motorcyclist himself so he knew he needed help. He said a car drove him off the road and people don't see bikers. Mike said he knew this guy was in pain so he had to help.
Howard asked if he gave George Clooney advice. Mike said someone asked him what he had for advice and they put that in an article. Mike said that he didn't say it to George in person.
Mike said he and his wife have had a lot of arguments about their flaws. He said that they have learned to ignore their flaws.
Howard asked Mike about being in Europe and how they didn't let him into London because of his criminal record. Mike said they let him know in advance so he didn't even go. He said he was supposed to do promotions and stuff over in London.
Howard asked if he's still smoking. He said that bothers him. Mike said he smoked when he was boxing but not all the time. Howard asked if he is afraid of cancer. Mike said this is something he can't beat. Howard asked how many a day he's smoking. Mike told him to stop asking him those questions. Mike asked how many times he whacked off today. Howard said he won't say today but this week he might. Howard asked if Mike whacks off. Mike said that can be fun because you don't have to deal with anyone else. He said you don't have to kiss and do chores and stuff. Howard said that's right.
Howard asked Mike if he has ever been on YouPorn. Mike hadn't heard of it. Mike asked if you have to put in your name and stuff. Howard said it's all free. Howard said it's all right there. Howard said you don't need more than 15 minutes so that's how long the clips are. Howard said they have it all there for free. Mike sounded like he was thrilled by that news. Howard said Mike needs a friend to tell him about that. Howard said he doesn't have a lot of male friends but they all talk about porn. Mike said he had to go to sex addicts anonymous. He said he was an addict at one time but not now. Mike said that his wife won't let him get away with anything. He said her phone is connected to her's so he can't get any pictures or anything. He said a real marriage is a good form of growth. Howard said it is. Howard said he's found that the person in his life is more important to him than the random affair or sex act.
Howard said Mike's book ''Undisputed Truth'' is out in paperback now. Mike said he's not sure what the difference is and why they put new stuff in it. Howard said that many people don't get the hard cover because it's more expensive.
Howard said Mike Tyson's Mysteries is great too. He said it's on Monday nights on Adult Swim. Howard said that they have some cool shows on that network. Howard said this cartoon is great and he watched the whole thing. Howard said Norm is very funny as the pigeon character. Mike said he likes that too. Howard gave Mike a plug for the fight he's promoting. Howard said you can get tickets for the fight at HardRockCasinoTulsa.com
Mike told Howard he saw Ratso and he got a new hip. He said he's very limber now though. Howard said that Ratso helped him out with his book and Mike with his book.
Howard asked Mike how old he is. Mike said he's old... he's 48. Howard said that's not that old. Howard had to wrap up with Mike after that. Mike said he wanted to stay. Howard said it's great seeing him and he congratulated him on the new cartoon and all of that. Mike said he loves being there. He said people always tell him how great it is when he's on. Howard said he's glad he's not pissed at him and doesn't want to kill him anymore. Mike said he's glad too. They went to break a short time later. As they were going to break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit where a guy was doing an exorcism on Crazy Alice audio clips.
Howard said that Casey Kasem's corpse is back on the phone. Casey said he's in Atlantic City and he looks better than half the losers walking around there. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard said he admires Yoko Ono for caring about the environment. He said that she got up at this concert though in Glastonberry. Howard said she just sings those songs like she thinks she's the Beatles. Howard said he doesn't hate her but it's mystifying why John Lennon loved her so much. Howard said he thought she was an innovator in music. Howard said she was doing her thing about fracking at this event and that's cool but then she sings. Howard said it's the medium that's the problem.
Howard played the clip of Yoko talking about the fracking thing and she's up there with a whole band. Howard said he thinks that she might be mentally ill or something. Howard said it sounds like an insane asylum. Howard said sometimes they lock people up for being too free. Robin said they were talking about who is to say what's good music the other day. Howard said the crowd there are standing there shell shocked when they hear this. Yoko just starts yelling. Howard said that transition is pretty harsh. Howard said she's talking and then she starts to screech. Howard replayed the part where she goes from speaking to screeching. Howard said this sounds like Benjy being fingered by Perez Hilton.
Howard said there are dudes there who are shocked by this. Howard played more of the audio of Yoko doing her yelling thing. Howard said he thinks she's like 81 years old. Howard said this next clip is Yoko singing a song. Howard said that it sounds just like her screaming though. Howard said it's a mystery how John Lennon got into this. Robin said he must have heard something. She said that he was a genius and they hear and see things we can't Howard said he definitely saw something he can't see.
Howard played a clip of Yoko singing another song. Howard said it reminds him of Lou Reed. Howard let that one play for a few seconds and made up some of his own lyrics. Howard said he has another song where Yoko sings about this daughter she had that she never sees. Howard played that awful song next. Howard sang that one along with her for a short time.
Howard said he thinks that if John Lennon had lived he'd be on wife number 4 and everyone would have forgotten about Yoko by now. Howard said this song is a love song to her daughter Kyoko and he wonders what a hate song would sound like. Robin said it all sounds the same. Howard played more clips and continued to goof on Yoko. Robin was getting in on it and singing just like her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview with Tyson. Howard said they had a good time. The caller said they got some great information from him. He asked if Howard is getting in all of these interviews because this is his swan song before he retires. Howard said yes. The caller asked if he thinks JD's girlfriend will break up with him when Howard retires. Howard gave him a short ''no.'' Howard let the guy go after that.
Howard had some audio of Maria Menounos laughing that he played as a song he made with her. It was sort of like the Yoko stuff.
Howard said he mentioned the other day that David Lee Roth should join Phish. Howard said he has a clip of what that would sound like. He played the clip of a Phish song with Roth singing the lead.
Robin stated her news with a story about the board game Operation and the guy who invented it needs an operation and he doesn't have the money for it. Robin said he needs $25,000 and he doesn't have it. Robin said the game has generated about $40 million in sales since it came out 50 years ago. Robin said he sold the rights for $500. Howard said he thinks Sal must have advised him on that deal. Robin said there's a crowd funding thing going on with that right now. Howard said the guy who invented the game Sorry wasn't really that sorry. He said maybe they should let the guy get his operation but they have to use those tongs from the game on him. Robin said it's also interesting that the guy sold the rights to the guy who came up with rubber vomit. Robin said that guy also offered him a job after college but that never materialized.
Howard said he knew a guy who figured out how to find trends and go through stuff trying to figure out what kids wanted. Howard said it was really tough to figure that stuff out. Howard said rubber vomit is great but you'd never think it would be a hit.
Robin asked Howard how many women he's slept with in his life. Howard went through the list. Howard said he had maybe 15 before his first marriage. Howard said most women would leave him after sleeping with him once or twice. Howard said he was pretty good at getting women into bed but then they'd leave. Some of them left crying. Howard said they were just disgusted. Howard said he may have had more. Howard said his wife was 16 and then Beth was 17. Howard said he had others between the marriages. Howard said maybe another 15. Howard said he was such an asshole. He said he was stupid and he apologizes for that. Robin said there's a new study that finds men who had sex with more than 20 women will have less of a chance of developing prostate cancer. Howard said that's good news. Robin said they say that it lowers the chance of cancer by 1/3. Howard said he doesn't understand. Robin said in monogamy you have less sex. Robin said the number of partners increases the amount of sex. Robin said they say that men who have sex with more than 20 men actually increase the chances of prostate cancer. Howard asked how it knows. Robin said the penis just knew. Robin said that this might be a good way to tell your wife that you need a hall pass. Howard said this really makes him think. He said now he's going to worry about prostate cancer.
Robin read about the Allman Brothers and their farewell tour. Howard said he saw them years ago and no one knew who the fuck they were. Howard said they were so great. Howard also got in a plug for the Rob Zombie concert that will be on Howard 101 on Friday night. He did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break, around 9:25am, they came back and Howard read an email from someone who asked what Yoko would sound like on the Sybian. Howard played a clip of the Sybian and Yoko moaning on it. Howard asked how sad it would be if Yoko was silent in bed. Robin said that would be so sad.
Howard took a call from Casey Kasem's corpse who said that he's in the pyramids in Egypt right now. He said he hopes they take him out of the sun soon.
Robin read a story about a haunted house in Denver that's supposed to be the scariest in the country. Howard said we have too much free time in this country. Howard said these are adults going to these places. Robin had audio of a woman talking about just how scary this place is. Howard said he bets Richard has been there. Robin said no way.
Howard had Richard come in to talk about the haunted house thing. Richard said he has been there. It's called The 13th Floor. Howard said Richard's wife goes along with all of this nonsense. Howard asked if he does anything that she likes. Richard said she's running the NYC Marathon this weekend. Howard said he doesn't run with her though. Gary said Richard waits for her to finish and then jumps up and congratulates her. Richard said he goes to the beach with her too. He said he hates the beach but he goes for her.
Robin went through some other haunted houses asking Richard if he knew of them. Richard knew them and had been to a couple. He said that at The Beast in Kansas City is scares the shit out of you. Howard said he would be scared just walking in a maze. Richard said you have to feel around in the dark in many of the rooms. He said they have things breathing on your neck and things like that. Richard said he and his wife got lost in one room for like an hour and eventually someone had to tell them how to get out.
Howard said if he really wants to be scared he should do like Jim Carrey did and go out into the dessert all alone. Richard said he loved hearing him talking about that. He said he'd love to do that. Richard said there's a place in New York called Black Out and they put a hood on you and put fingers in your mouth and simulate defecating on you. Howard thanked Richard for that and let him go.
Robin got back to her news and read about Halloween make up and what experts say you should be careful of this Halloween.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said that he's down to 344 pounds. Howard said he's a liar. Eric said that his t-shirt just went on sale too. Howard told him to get out of there when he started to plug the shirt thing. They played him out with a theme song. Howard said he's doing a commercial and they have enough of that. Howard said Eric tells him what he weighs and then he comes in there weighing 20 pounds more.
Robin read a story about kids who don't like to be scared and how Halloween can be a problem. Robin had some audio of someone talking about what parents can do to help their kids out with that.
Robin read a story about Charles Barkley making some controversial comments about how unintelligent blacks are keeping the black community down. Robin had some of the audio of Barkley talking about that.
Howard got the audio of Richard at this 13th Floor haunted house. In the clip there's screaming and people scaring Richard as he's walking through. Robin said that sounds like a nightmare.
Robin read a story about how they have been naming portions of roads after famous people. Robin said she was on Peter Jennings Way the other day and didn't even know it. Robin said George Carlin has a section of road named after him. Howard said some church people were upset by that. Robin said that's what she was going to say. She said that they were upset that kids might look him up and read some four letter words. Robin said he ranted and raved about religion too. Robin read about how there's going to be a James Brown Way too. That will be up in Harlem.
Robin read about a guy who exposed the secret service going to prostitutes being accused of going to prostitutes himself.
Robin read a story about people who see stock information before other investors. Robin read about how the SEC gives out information early and that might give investors an edge on the market.
Robin read a story about how retail robots are coming to a hardware store in California. Robin said that this could lead to job loss. Howard said kids should get into robot repair now. He said that's what people will have to be doing for work.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he hopes that JD marries this girl he's dating. He asked Howard if he would go to the wedding. Howard said no. He said he's not available that day. Howard said he's probably sure he's not. JD said he doesn't want him there anyway. Howard said watching him get married would be funny. He said Gary's wedding was funny because he's shorter than his wife. Gary said he was asked if he wanted to stand on a box during the photos. Howard asked if he did that. Gary said no way. Howard said that's pretty funny.
Robin read a story about Johnny Cash's son who was arrested in New Foundland, Canada after he missed his flight and stripped down to his underwear. Robin said they found he was intoxicated. Robin said he wasn't charged with anything.
Howard asked if JD has met his girlfriend's parents yet. JD said he hasn't. Howard said she must have to prepare them for meeting him. Howard said she'll have to tell them that his name on the internet is ''DaBadAss''. Howard said they're going to ask if he's the guy who cums in his t-shirts. JD didn't seem to like them talking about that. Howard made up more stuff that the girlfriend would have to tell her parents.
Howard said he heard JD talking about walking a lot lately. He wondered where he's walking. JD said he walks to and from work. He wasn't sure how far it was but he said it takes a good 30-45 minutes.
Robin read a story about a man who beheaded his mother and then threw himself in front of a moving train. Robin said it happened last night on Long Island. Robin said the man's body was found about a mile away from where he was hit.
Robin read a story about how you can find allergy free foods at homes with teal pumpkins. Robin said that's how they're letting people know what kind of candy they have. Howard said he wouldn't let his kids eat anything without checking it. Robin said maybe don't take the kid out trick or treating.
Robin read a story about how Google is working on some medical technologies. Robin told Howard about something they're working on now. Howard said that sounds cool. Howard came up with a Kosher pumpkin thing that they could do to let people know they have Kosher foods at homes.
Robin read a story about the Pope really shaking things up. Robin said that the theories of evolution and the big bang theory are correct and that doesn't mean there is no divine leader. Howard said that's good. He said some people reject science and this is good that he's saying that. Howard said if you deny it then it makes you think the whole world has gone batty. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the nurse who was in quarantine and is still complaining. Robin said she was on her side at first but now she's getting annoying. Howard said that we are in a beginning phase of this and you have to quarantine someone who comes back from this crisis. Robin said she was upset about the conditions. Robin said the problem is that this woman seems like a trouble maker. Robin said she has run off with her boyfriend and gone underground. Robin said you're supposed to be somewhere that they can find you but this woman is not available. Howard said that's unfair to the rest of us. Howard said this person did sacrifice and he admires what she did to go to help in one of these countries. He said when you come back here you have to abide by the rules. Howard said asking someone to be quarantined isn't out of line. Howard said she should just do it. Robin said she's saying that she will only do it for 2 weeks and she has to be with her boyfriend.
Howard said on the phone he has a woman who is in quarantine right now. He played the clip he played yesterday where he had a woman moaning and a vibrating sound going along with that. Howard said he's mistaken, that's actually Yoko Ono's new song.
Robin read about how YouTube is going to have a video service and they will be ad based. Robin said they are looking to generate more revenue. Howard said people should figure out how to steal everything without commercials since that's what YouTube did. Howard said he loves YouTube though. He said it's the greatest thing ever but they do have stuff that's stolen on there. Howard said their defense is that they don't know where it came from.
Robin read a story about a guy who is the half uncle of the half niece he's married to. Robin said they say that is legal. Howard said he knows a cousin who married his first cousin. Howard said that was like 100 years ago. Robin said that she knows someone who married a first cousin and they love the holidays because there's just one family they have to deal with.
Robin read about a video that's out about what it's like to be a woman walking down the street. Robin had some audio from that video. Howard said that guys just say shit to her as she's walking down the street. There were dudes just saying all kinds of things to her. Howard said his wife got pushed into a wall once because the guy was just angry at her for being attractive. Robin said every woman gets that. Robin asked what makes them think they can talk to just anyone in such an uninviting fashion. Gary said one guy was walking next to this woman and she just keeps walking. Gary said one guy gets all angry when she doesn't answer him. Howard said that's why this guy pushed his wife into the wall. Howard said he's seen guys with Robin too. He said he's seen guys ask Robin to marry them. Robin said you just want to keep going and don't want to get engaged with them. Robin said this is what happens to all women. Howard said he imagines a woman sitting at home listening and thinking there's something wrong with her because this has never happened to her.
Howard asked Nicole Bass (Fred) if he gets that. Fred did his impression of Nicole and said sometimes she does. He said once they get a look at her clit they run away. Then she hears this sound... and Fred played a car peeling out.
Robin read a story about this Dr. Strange character in the comics. Robin said that she wasn't aware of Dr. Strange. Howard said he's a big deal. Robin said they're going to make a movie about him and Benedict Cumberbatch is going to play the part. Robin read about some of the movies that Marvel studios will be bringing out over the next few years.
Robin mentioned Hillary Clinton so that led to Howard playing a political ad that they made where they were coming out against Hillary's granddaughter for the election in 2056.
Robin read a story about a gay woman who is using her gay son in a political ad. Robin had the ad she was talking about so Howard played that. Howard also played a Clay Aiken commercial they made by editing clips of Clay's voice.
Robin read a story about a warning in Lake Tahoe. Robin said they are saying not to take selfies with bears. Robin said that's the warning from rangers who said that's what people are doing there. Robin said they're high risk photos. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that.
Robin read a story about how Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin breaking up. Robin said they kept their relationship under wraps for the few months they were rumored to be dating.
Robin read about how Taco Bell has an app out for smart phones so you can order through the phone. Robin said you can order and pay for the meal and then pick it up at the drive thru or at the restaurant. Robin said you can walk right through and pick up without going through the line. Robin wrapped up and ended her news. Howard ended the show around 10:20am.
Jon said that Richard talked about going to the haunted houses and he's in all his glory with the Royals in the World Series. He said that his passion for that and the haunted houses is incredible.
Jon said Richard feels about baseball like some people think about football. Jon said Howard thinks they're just wasting their time. Gary came in and said that he has had games bother him for way longer than they should have. He mentioned which games they were and how they just crushed him. He said he was pissed for a week. Jon asked if he has ever cried. Gary said he hasn't. He said he can shed a tear of joy but not crying over a team. Jon said he has cried tears the other way around. He said once was over a hockey game with the Penguins and the Islanders. Jon said the second time he cried was when he was older. He said it was when the Pirates were beaten by the Braves. He said he was just crying.
Jon said Richard will cry at the drop of a hat. He said he can't tell what he's really into. Gary said they have a Richard's Dad This or That game coming up soon and Richard's dad likes everything and he can't pick one or the other. He said you realize that's what Richard likes too.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking about the sports fans who shouldn't be yelling about the games. Jon said he's saying you can love it but don't be over the top with your emotions. Gary said Howard wants everyone to think the way he does. He said he understands that but it's not happening. Jon said that just about everyone there is a sports fan who is passionate about their sport. Gary said he thinks it's the way they were raised. He said Howard didn't really get into it because he didn't go to a lot of games. Gary said that he and his family would go to games all the time. He said he watched baseball with his dad every weekend during the summer. Jon said he'd get betting lines from his dad. He said that's how into sports he was. Gary said that he and his dad stayed in touch over sports until the day he died.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves it when Bobo calls. Jon said he did get some support from other callers. Jon said you want some reaction from the fans so he's sure Bobo would be happy with that. The caller said he loves it when Howard hangs up on Bobo the best. The caller said he hates those microphones that Gary and JD are on every day. Gary said that he thinks his is fine but they are going to switch JD's out. The caller said they sound like shit. He said Robin is in another room and she sounds like she's right there. Gary said he was irritated at JD's so they're going to make some changes.
Jon played a clip of Robin talking about what she uses to wipe. Robin mentioned throwing them away in a waste can. Jon said that's a huge revelation. Gary asked if she wets them or uses them dry. Jon said they may be moist before hand. He said maybe she dampens them. Gary said that his initial thought was the old days when they used cloth diapers and sent them out to be cleaned. Gary said he'd suggest that Robin get a diaper genie or something to get rid of the smell.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they understand the passion of a sport but Howard doesn't get that. He said he never participated. Gary said Robin is a big sports fan. He said that she has a passion for her teams. Gary said Jason doesn't play sports but he's a very passionate sports fan. The caller said he gets that. He said he thinks that there is something missing with Howard and it's that passion. The caller said he thinks that Howard has the same feeling after nailing an interview that the sports fans have about their teams.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what the difference is between Howard crying over the band Cream breaking up and them crying over sports. Gary said that Cream is important. Jon said that people have passions for different things. Gary said that Ralph will goof on him about his cartoon cells and he'll ask him why he thinks that his action figures are any more important. He said everyone is different.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that sports are a big thing for a lot of people. Jon said he wasn't saying don't watch them. He said it was just about not going over the top for them. The caller said that Bobo and Mariann go over the top for Howard's show. He said there are people who take it to that extreme. Gary said he and Jon are into sports but they're not going to go in and debate it with Howard. Jon said there's no way to win that debate. They went to break after that.
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Jon said they were talking about Richard going to the haunted houses earlier. Jon asked what he likes about them. Richard said they have special effects that are like movies now. He said it's crazy. He told them about a place he went a few weeks ago where they had this 30 foot monster reaching out to grab people.
Jon asked Richard about his love of Halloween and if he's prepared for that. Richard will be ready to go after this World Series is over.
Jon took a call from a guy who said there is nothing wrong with being emotional about games. He said that we're all different that way. He said that he loves Richard too. He said he's a great guy. Richard thanked him for that. He said that they said ''Strong men also cry'' in The Big Lebowski.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Richard too. He said he was curious what his affiliation is with the Royals. He said they're in Missouri. Richard said they were only an hour and a half from where he grew up. He said they're right next to Missouri. Richard said that they were about the closest.
Jon asked what the difference is between Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, Kansas. Richard said they're really just on the other side of the river from each other.
Jon asked how Sal puts up with all of that. Richard said he has to put up with Sal smoking those fake cigarettes. He said that Sal got the pumpkin spice scented stuff and he'd blow it over toward him. He said he doesn't know what's in that stuff. He said he doesn't know that there has been enough studies about the second hand vapor. He said he puts up with it though.
Jon asked if Richard is going out trick or treating. Richard said they aren't but they have the trick or treaters coming to their apartment.
Jon said Howard asked Richard about the things his wife does with him and what he does with his wife. Richard said he does go to the beach with his wife. He said he wouldn't go if she didn't go. He said he burns up in the sun. He said he's gotten burned in 5 minutes. Richard said he's had things removed and he goes to a dermatologist every 6 months for a check up. Gary said he knows a guy who has the same complexion as Richard and he's always covered up. Richard said he has to wear a big sun hat and a long sleeve shirt. He said his wife won't walk next to him. He said he carries an umbrella in the sun. Gary asked what a sun umbrella is. Richard said the sun umbrella reflects the sun and it's UV rated. He said it's usually him and a bunch of Asian women carrying them in the summer. They went to break after that.
Richard said Mike Tyson's Punch Out was a big deal in his life when he was growing up. Jon asked how far he got in it. Richard said he beat it. He said he may have called Nintendo's help line to help him out.
Jon said when Buster Douglas beat him he was shocked. He said he never thought Tyson would lose. Jon said Mike is a boxing promoter now and he does things differently than it was done in his day. Gary said that he has some sensitivity with how he feels with the boxers. He said that Mike got ripped off like 20 times. Gary said he remembers what he was spending monthly when he was at the height of his fame. He said it was a lot of money with all of the employees and cleaning the tiger cages and all of that.
Richard said he thinks that it's more intimidating now with Mike's tattoo. Gary said he gets a hug from Mike every time but he's always afraid of saying the wrong thing even though those days seem to be behind him. Jon said he's right, you don't want to poke the bear.
Jon played a clip of Mike and Howard talking about whacking off. Jon said Mike rolls with things really well on the show. He said that people think he's not that sharp but he really is very intelligent. Gary said at some point Howard will ask you what site you use for porn no matter who you are. Gary said no one ever says that they're above it.
Richard said he liked that they were using the term ''whack off'' today. Gary said that's very 1980s. Lisa G mentioned the ''jack juice'' term that Mike used to. Richard knew what that was.
Jon took a call from a guy who told them a name they were looking for earlier when they were talking about Punch Out.
Another caller said that he's a huge boxing fan and boxing doesn't get the exposure that it used to. He asked why they think no one watches it anymore. Gary said he used to watch boxing all the time but then there weren't any exciting boxers. He said that UFC seems to be drawing people now. He said that's what people are into instead of boxing.
Jon had Lisa G give her Howard 100 News headline preview. Lisa ran down a bunch and got in a plug for today's Leiberman Live. Jon had the guys get in some plugs and then ended the show. They were done around 11:10am.
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Jon asked Richard how he felt last night at that point. Richard said it was pure chaos. He said the place exploded. He said it was real somber until then but then that happened. Richard said it blew their minds. Richard said he thinks they made the right move.
Jon asked if Richard thought it was over then. Richard said he thought it was their destiny. He said they've come down to that before and gone into extra innings. He said the game was still amazing. He said he's proud of the Royals. He said they lost by one run and they came so close. He said it was awesome.
Richard said everyone was cheering and doing the Royals chant. He said they didn't think they'd make it as far as they did.
Gary said that someone came up to Richard saying sorry for the loss but he thought he was in Giants colors. Richard was actually wearing his Halloween colors. Gary asked if the orange on his arm is from the shirt. Richard said it's probably from Cheetos. He said he'll eat anything orange in October. Richard said he had orange yogurt every morning this month too. Jon and Gary named some other orange colored foods that he could eat.
Jon asked Richard if he spoke to his dad yet. Richard said they did talk. He said they were looking at the positives last night. He said they were talking about Halloween coming up. Richard said he thinks that KU is going to do really well and the Chiefs are doing well too. He said next year the Royals may be great again. He said he's hoping for that.
Jon said he knows how Richard feels. He said the Pirates have come close to getting there too. He said they get so close and then they don't make it. Gary said the Mets have been there too. He said it's been close a few times since 1986.
Jon said Howard doesn't get it when they're into this stuff so much. Gary said he understands that. He said none of the New York teams have any chance of getting a championship this year and that's unusual. Gary said Howard goes to the Knick games all the time. He said they're supposed to be better this year. Jon said the Yankees had a system that worked and they were always in the playoffs. He said you have to respect that.
Jon played some audio of Howard talking about all of the sports talk. He was talking about how stupid people sound when they're so vested in sports.
Jon asked Richard if he was yelling about it last night. Richard said he tries not to curse a lot but the F-word was flying around last night. Jon said he can't see him getting that way. Richard said he was mad at Baumgartner and he was frustrated that the Giants were doing so good. He said it was frustrating. Jon said he feels for him.
Jon said now Halloween is coming. He said that should pick up his spirits. He asked what he's going to do. Richard said they're going to try going North to see the fall foliage and go to some Halloween events. He said he'll be watching a bunch of movies like the first Halloween, Halloween 3 and a movie called Trick or Treat from 2008. Then there's also a Trick or Treat from 1986 that he likes to watch. Jon asked what that was about. Richard told Jon and Jon was laughing at how ridiculous it sounded.
Gary asked how many Halloween movies there are. Richard said there are like 12. Gary asked why he likes those two. Richard said they're just the ones he loves the best. Richard said he only has time for a certain number on Halloween.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he knows Howard isn't into sports but are their wives into the same teams. Jon said they're all married so they can answer. He said Beth is into sports. Gary said she grew up on it so she tends to watch. Gary said Mary isn't really a sport fan. He said she just got a bunch of Jets shirts she can wear though. Gary said she looks at it like Howard does.
Jon asked Richard how his wife is. Richard said she's into the Eagles big time. He said that she listens every weekend to her phone to hear the games. Richard said she's a die hard fan. He said those games are a blast to go to. Jon said his wife is a Michigan fan. He said she got a new Steelers shirt the other day and she knows what a big fan he is.
Gary said his wife asks if he's going to watch football all day and he says yes. He said there are games that go on all day long. Gary said last week there was one on at 9 in the morning and he could have watched it all day long. His wife wasn't too thrilled with that.
Jon said he went out to dinner to a place that had a TV to watch the game on last weekend. Richard sent Jon a picture last weekend of Stryper saying he was watching the Steelers. They were wearing old style uniforms that made them look like Stryper. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said Amy has a book out and that can make things easier. He said that he liked when she realized her dad was listening to the show while she was on. Richard said his wife's mother listens to the show too. He said he doesn't want to say anything too crazy. He said it does matter when you know a family member is listening.
Gary said he had that issue when he'd date someone or something. He said there are people who love to deliver the bad news to people about what was said on the show. He said the only people who listen are his wife and his son Lucas is secretly listening. He said his brother in law listens too. He said Lucas will say something that happened on the show and he'll ask how he heard it. He said he'll say a friend told him. Gary said he knows he's listening.
Richard said that when they moved to Sirius he told his parents he was getting them a radio and subscription as long as they never questioned what he did on the air. He said that they accepted the deal. Richard said they have a good sense of humor about it. Richard said it was weird thinking about how they were going to be listening to him licking Sal's testicles.
Jon asked if he talks to his parents about that stuff at all. Richard said they know he's a responsible person so it doesn't worry them. Gary said when Richard started dating his wife she must have known he was that wacky guy. Richard said she was a fan and she liked what he did on the air so she was cool with it.
Jon said it must be weird to go on the first date and have her asking what Sal's balls taste like. Richard said it was.
Jon said people will always hear the news through people who didn't even hear the show directly. Gary said the person reporting it always makes it sound the worst. Jon said he was thinking of JD and how that's playing out on the air for him and his girlfriend. He said that they're hearing it unfold live. Gary said his girlfriend sounds fairly mentally healthy. He said she hasn't gone off the deep end yet. He said he has seen that happen before.
Jon asked if JD is handling this stuff the right way so far. Gary said he thinks he is and he's playing both sides of the fence.
Gary said he dated a girl once and she didn't come up to the studio. He said Howard and Fred found out about it and they morphed it into her being so ugly that he didn't want to bring her up. Gary said the woman called him so upset about that. He said it wasn't about that but it sings when it comes out on the air like that. Gary said she was really hot too so that was the fucked up thing. Gary said he didn't bring her up because of that. He said she was too hot to bring up.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Amy's interview was one of the greats. He said she was really genuine and she opened up about her sexuality and all of that. He said that gave her a bit of an edge. He also thought she was really attractive. He said they seem to frumpy her up on Parks and Recreation. Jon said he thinks they do. Richard said Jon frumps himself up for this show. Jon said he does.
Gary said when someone sits on the couch with Howard then you get to know someone in a new way. He said that's what happened with Lady Gaga. He said they found out how interesting and talented she was. He said not everyone can do that and some people know they can't be interesting.
Jon played a clip of Amy Poehler talking to Howard about leaving JD and his girlfriend alone. Jon said they're going to take a break and get into that. They went to break after that.
Jon asked if what Amy Poehler said about leaving him and his girlfriend alone meant something to him. JD said he knows nothing will change. He said that life is so weird. He said when he moved to New York City he went to see Upright Citizen's Brigade. He said he went to see this show and this was over 10 years ago. He said Amy was in the show back then. He said it's weird that she now knows him and his life. He said it's very strange. He said it was very nice to have her support. JD said he knows nothing will change though. He said it could get even worse.
Jon asked JD if it's weird to JD that he's famous and he knows who Amy is and Amy knows him. JD said he's not on the same level as her. Jon said that he is sort of in a comparable level. JD said that he's not on TMZ or Access Hollywood or anything. He said that's not what he needs though. Gary said that JD and this show are as important to people's lives as Saturday Night Live might be to JD.
Jon said Amy brought it up herself so clearly JD is on her mind. JD said it's nice to be on Amy Poehler's mind. He said he's glad to have her support.
Gary said he and Jon love Parks and Recreation. He said he met her once briefly and when you like someone so much that you don't want them to disappoint you and she didn't. He said he was going to take her around for the full tour when she was there but she had to leave. He wondered if JD would make the full turn to say hello to her. JD said he would have. Gary said sometimes he only opens his door halfway to give a hello. JD said he might be in the middle of something. He said he tries to be nice to people but he doesn't know what to do. He said he's not good with that sort of thing.
Jon said he was sort of bummed about something. He said he loves Amy and he likes to do the IDs with people. He said Gary came in and did the IDs with her and sort of rushed her out. Jon said he was so bummed that he didn't get to do that. Gary said he really had to breeze her through it. Jon said he's looking forward to having her back.
Jon said Howard asked Amy if she didn't like someone on the show and she brought up Sal. Jon said she had some issue with what Sal does. Gary said you can blame it on her being uptight but she's really not based on that book she wrote. He said that she's just not into that Sal weirdness. Gary said Sal doesn't understand just how weird some of that stuff is.
Jon said Sal had a unique take on the situation. JD said Sal talked to the news about this and he thinks that Amy is into him. Gary said he thought that with her no means yes. JD said that's what it's like. Gary said she was creeped out by him a little bit. Jon said they'll get to that more tomorrow.
Jon said Brett Larson is there so he asked him to give his Howard 100 News headlines. Brett ran down a few stories and mentioned a list of the top 5 FOX News anchors that JD came up with. They talked to JD about that for a minute.
Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and Leiberman Live and then wrapped up the show. They were done around 10:50am.
Jon ran down the things they replayed this morning and said he wanted to start off talking about Jim Carrey. Gary said Howard and Jim dove right in and the interview was really good. Jon said they both have respect for each other's talents. Jon said Jim is just a naturally funny guy. He said Howard asked if Jim thinks that other comedians are jealous and Jim seems to think that if they have some success of their own they're not jealous. Gary said maybe that's the way he sees it or he just deals with it.
Jon said Jim also talked about his drug use and being addicted to pot. He played a clip from the interview where Howard and Jim were talking about Jim's experience in the mountains by himself.
Jon said Jim got through that vision quest and he changed forever after that. He said Robin did her own kind of vision quest and she came out of it a different person. Gary said that whole thing Robin did didn't sound regulated and it sounds dangerous to him.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking about Robin taking Ayahuasca and how that was a drug deal. Robin insisted it wasn't. Jon said he admires Robin taking that chance but you are taking your life into your hands. Gary said it is a drug and it's like dropping acid here in this country. Jon said she either came back better or worse for it depending on your views.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the Jim Carrey interview was the best he's heard all year. He said he really related to the interview and he's going to listen again today. He said he thought it was an amazing interview.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he didn't like the interview. He said it seemed like Jim came off as some affected celebrity. He said it was all of that shit he was talking about with the vision quest. He said it's all just bullshit. Gary said it wasn't to Jim. Gary said he knows a lot of people who are like that who aren't celebrities. He you can't blame it on celebrity.
Jon said that it's done Jim pretty well over his life. Jon said he respects the sincerity in their belief but then he'll talk to someone like Sal and laugh because he finds it funny. Gary said he had a guy who told him to put magnets in his shoes. He said he was told it aligns his whole body. He said he's not sure that he needs that though. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
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Jon asked Sal what the other places gave him. Sal said if they didn't have anything they gave nothing. He said not even fortune cookies or fortune cookies.
Sal said he's going to a Halloween wedding party tonight. He said his cousin is getting remarried. He said he's going to try to go out with his youngest kid.
Jon asked Gary if he knows what Sal is going as. Sal said he's going to go as an ISIS guy with Ebola. Gary said he figured it was something like that. Gary guessed it was going to be Elvis but then Sal said he's going as Gene Simmons. Jon asked which one. Sal said Love Gun Gene. He said that's the cheapest costume he could find.
Sal said he has a friend coming over to do the makeup. He said he has the boots too. Sal said he's pretty pumped up about it. Sal asked his wife to be Gene Simmons' wife or Tina Turner since Gene went out with her. He said she settled on Madonna. He said she's going as the 80's Madonna.
Jon asked Gary if he's doing anything. Gary said he's doing nothing. He said they get trick or treaters up there. He said they should be done by 8:45 or so.
Jon said his wife goes crazy and gets a ton of candy. He said they put it out and no one comes. He said they end up bringing tons of candy to work. Sal asked if that's because of Megan's law. Jon said they have a long driveway. He called Sal an idiot for the joke about Megan's law. Sal said he hates when someone shows up when you think you're done. He said he gets the doorbell ring and gives them as much as they can so he has an excuse not to answer the door.
Jon said Amy Poehler said that Sal made her a bit uneasy. Sal said that he was flattered. He said she did say she likes the work they do. Sal said he thinks that she broke it down about how repulsed she was and in an odd way she was saying that she likes him. Sal said he thinks if he was with her alone that shit would be flying and they'd have a blast. Sal said she would see a different side of him and he thinks that she wants to see that. Sal said he thinks some wild stuff would go down. Jon said he doesn't get that. Sal said that there's a subconscious thing going down there. Sal said he gets that from Gary's wife too. He said she didn't like him but now he thinks that she'd bang him.
Gary said he thinks Sal likes Amy and he needs her to like him back. Sal said he doesn't think she hates him. Sal said he's been in situations before and they have said they don't like him and then they end up actually liking him. Jon asked how many times that has happened. Sal said he went out with Mary Dell'Abate and she wasn't comfortable meeting him. He said on day 2 they were like best buddies. Jon asked if he's had that with other women too. Sal said it's been maybe 3 or 4 times. Sal said he doesn't like people feeling uncomfortable around him. He said it affects him. He said he really does think Amy would go out with him if they were both single. Jon said maybe the four of them can go out. Sal said sure, why not. Jon said that will never happen.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's surprised that they didn't bring up Howard dating Mike's ex. Jon said it has come up in the past. He said they've been over it. Jon said they were also talking about the Mike Tyson Punch Out game the other day. Sal loved that game. He said he played that arcade game. He said when Mike Tyson's Punch Out came he would get home from school and play that. He said he became the king of the game. He said he went to his friend's house and played it there. He said his little brother was playing and they couldn't beat Mike Tyson. He said he took the controller and knocked Mike out. He said he had kids cheering for him. He said they looked up to him like a god.
Jon asked how much he played the game. Sal said he played it all day long. He said he plays it on the Wii now and he can't beat it. He said it's like all his brain cells packed up and left.
Sal said there was a way to beat Mike and he knew how to do it at the time. JD said he used to be able to get past the 4th guy but not the 5th. Jon said he never played the home version. He said he only played in the arcade.
Sal said he had a metal shop guy drill a hole in a quarter so he could play it over and over with no quarter. Sal said the guy came to collect the quarters and the box was empty. He said the quarter with the hole in it eventually fell in though.
Jon asked JD if he could take Sal in it now. JD said he wishes he had an old Nintendo. Sal said you can play them on the Wii. He said his kids are great at the game and he sucks now. He said he gets beat by Glass Joe now. Sal said the kids loved him when he could beat Tyson. He said he was the king of Mike Tyson.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Sal is right about Amy. He said he's right in the corner with him.
Jon said Amy also defended JD. Jon asked JD if he sensed the same thing that Sal did with her. JD said he loves Sal but he thinks Amy was being for real. He said that she might be a little put off by him. Jon said Sal said he would go out with Amy and Nick and his wife. Sal said maybe just Amy and Nick. He said he was just joking about that. He said his wife can come too. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said some people don't care for Sal and he can be polarizing. Jon asked Gary who else can be on the show. Gary said Bobo and King of all Blacks can be. JD said Ralph too. Jon said Ralph has kicked it up a bit the past few weeks. Jon asked Sal if he feels he is. Sal said he can be. He said that's not a bad thing. He said you have to strike a nerve somehow some way. He said that it proves you stick to your guns and your beliefs.
Gary asked Sal if the negativity affects him. Sal said sometimes it can. Gary asked what bothers him. Sal said sometimes the whole emotional friend thing. He said some people go really deep and it hurts. Sal said he wants to be the best person he can be but he won't cave in for people who want him to change.
Jon asked Sal why he thinks that Bobo isn't polarizing. Sal said he loves Bobo and he thinks he's interesting and funny. He said he thinks that he's more liked than disliked.
Jon had Bobo on the phone and Bobo said that these fans who bad mouth him are fans who have nothing better to do. He said he put his job on the line when he was starting out. He said they have no idea what he did. Jon asked if he thinks there are people who aren't as committed to him. Bobo said there are people who just talk horribly about the show and he won't go on these sites where they do that. Bobo said people like he and Ralph have longevity on the show. He said he tries to give it 1000 percent.
Jon said sometimes that stuff can hurt. He asked Bobo if it hurts when he hears some of that stuff. Bobo said it can hurt. He said these people who are giving their comments aren't die hard fans of the show. He said he can't believe that die hard fans would bad mouth him. Gary said Bobo thinks that if they trash him they're not true fans of the show. Gary said he likes Bobo but he's wondering if he thinks that people really have to appreciate him just for putting the time in. Bobo said it's about the jealousy. He said that he calls in and people say he hogs the phone. Bobo said he tells them to call in and they say they don't have the time. Bobo said he makes the time. Bobo said he could have been fired for what he did. He said he would call in sick and things like that to go to the show and things like that.
Sal asked if he had any backlash after he painted his face with his cock. Bobo said the people in his building made his life a living hell. He said they were hanging pictures and posters and all of that.
Jon asked Bobo if he has a pension from his driving class. Bobo said he did it for 38 years so of course he does. Jon said that they have a new drop with Bobo saying ''Off the roof.'' Bobo said he has something to say about that too. He asked if that's any different than off the chain or off the shelf. Gary said he's not sure they'd find any other usages of it. Sal said he would see it as ''I saw Bobo and I kicked him off the roof.'' Bobo said he's sure it's urban slang.
Jon said Sal is a master of urban slang and asked if he heard it at all. Sal said he's never heard it. Jon said he thinks that's all Bobo's. Bobo said he's going to claim it then.
Bobo said he had one more thing to clear up. He said he comes up with great questions over the years and he did come out with that one thing that morning he was on early. Gary said they tell Howard a lot of stuff and he's not interested in everything. Gary said it's not that they don't tell him. He said he's just not interested. Bobo said they all jumped in on the conversation so sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
Jon asked Bobo if he's getting into costume at all. Bobo said his son wanted to do something with his hair and paint it orange and green. Bobo said he didn't want to do that. Gary said he could just take it and throw it in the dishwasher when he's done. Jon asked if his kid knows he wears a rug. Bobo said the kids don't know. He said he wears a hat or spikes it up around them. Gary said maybe a 6 or 7 year old doesn't know but he's sure the older kids do. Bobo said his son is asking too many questions. Gary asked if he will find out before or after he finds out there is no Santa. Bobo said that's going to be hard.
JD asked if the wig talk or the sex talk is going to be harder. Bobo said the wig talk will be. Jon asked if his son asked him to get rid of it, would he do it. Bobo said he would. He said his other kids want him to get rid of it but the little guy might freak out. Bobo said his son says he looks really young compared to the other dads. Jon said he hopes he can keep that dream alive. He let Bobo go after that. Jon said they get a new story from Bobo every time.
Jon asked Mike Hambrick to give a Howard 100 News preview. Mike ran down a few headlines they have for today. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and for the Rob Zombie Halloween Special that will be airing tonight at 9. They got in their plugs and ended the show around 10:55am.
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