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Working On Columbus Day. 10/08/07. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call Sal and Richard made to a pizzeria using a dog barking to place an order, a Baba Booey song parody to the tune of Guns N' Roses ''Paradise City'', Fiona Apple performing ''Criminal'' live in the Howard Stern Show studio.
Howard started off the show saying he didn't know it was Columbus Day today and he's a big Columbus guy but he's working anyway. He said that he should be out sailing around the world trying to discover new worlds but there are none left to discover. Artie said that it would be great if Howard could find some people to give his own name to. He could call the natives ''Sternians'' or something like that.
Howard said that it's funny that the Indians here in this country were found and thought to be from India. He said that's kind of like the name Baba Booey sticking with Gary all these years. Howard said that Columbus thought he'd landed in India here and called them Indians and the name stuck.
Howard and the guys talked about how crazy the whole Columbus situation was and how scary the world is. Robin said that the Indians here saved Columbus' ass when he got here and look at the thanks they got for doing that.
Scores Baltimore Grand Opening. 03/13/06. 7:00am
After the break Howard and the guys talked about Richard Christy's father after Fred played the message where he told Richard to be careful getting his teeth checked out. Howard said that he watched the whole Weekend at the Christy's segment on Howard TV and it was great.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was down at the Baltimore Scores grand opening and he wondered why those guys show up but don't mingle with the fans. Howard said he didn't send them down there, they were invited down by the Scores people.
Howard heard that the girls aren't even allowed to take their tops off in Baltimore. Gary said that he had a list of the rules for the place. The girls can get totally nude if they're dancing on the stage. If they're giving a lap dance, they have to keep all of their clothes on. Ronnie came in and said that the girls aren't even allowed to take their tops off if they're giving a dance in the private rooms.
Howard said that seeing the ''vagine'' must be cool. Ronnie said that they saw some ''Lincoln tunnels'' while they were there. He was referring to the giant holes that the girls were showing at the club. Gary and Ronnie weren't even that interested in seeing that part. They were fine with the topless stuff. Howard said he thinks he'd get off on seeing the chick's ''vagine's'' if he hadn't seen a girl in a while.
Gary told Howard about how Shuli was there and saw Ross Zapin hanging out and wondered who the hell he was. Gary said he had to tell Shuli that Ross is ''the guy'' who shows up at all of those things. Ronnie said that Shuli ended up staying for almost the whole weekend after he was supposed to be down there for only Thursday's press party.
Howard was saying that Ronnie is the kind of guy who is a douche bag most of the time until he goes to Scores. Ronnie was kind of upset that he was goofing on him like that. Howard said he had some audio of Ronnie and Gary down there at Scores but he finds all of that kind of stuff kind of boring. He played some clips of Gary doing some announcements at the press party. He said that it would be more interesting if they taped Gary and Ronnie calling their wives and telling them what a crappy time they're having. Ronnie said he would never make that call because he has a great time.
Howard played some audio of Ronnie up on stage addressing the crowd. He had the girls coming up on stage to show the guys what they had. Then he goofed on the name of one of the strippers. The audio quality wasn't that great so Howard asked why they sent a crew down there and they can't even get decent audio. Gary said that the TV show guys didn't mic him when he was on stage, they just got it off of the speakers. Howard said that this has to stop and if they're going to send a crew down there, they have to do it right.
Howard said this all annoys him because they should be doing something if they're going to make the trip all the say down there. He said he's been fighting for a budget to get George Takei in there and meanwhile, these guys are all going to Scores and not covering it right. He said he wouldn't mind it so much if they just mic'd the guys the right way. They didn't even bother to make it look like they were working while they were there.
Howard asked Gary whose fault this was. He wanted a name of someone to take the blame. Gary blamed the TV crew which would have been either Mike Gange or Doug Goodstein. Richard said that it was actually Greg from In Demand gave them the tape because he was covering it. Sal told Howard that it's also Gary's fault for not bringing back some content. Howard said he might be right.
Doug Goodstein came in and told Howard that the guys were mic'd with lavaliere microphones but the speakers were bleeding in. Howard said that's not true and what he was hearing wasn't coming through a Lav. Doug told Howard that there were only 3 guys down there from In Demand to cover it. The radio guys only sent Shuli to cover it so that was it. Howard said he hopes that everyone had a great weekend. Doug said that they actually did.
Sal was sitting in Gary's office talking on his mic telling Gary that he did a crappy job. Howard was upset that they didn't work this out and bring back some decent content. Howard said that it doesn't really matter. There was no story there to begin with and they didn't bring back any content. Sal told Gary that he should think about the show first and he should bring back a story whether he does something or not. He said he always brings back tape of his own and it's always good quality.
Howard said he has no problem with his guys going to Scores but they really don't have to bring a crew with them. If they are going to send a crew down there, they should do everything right. The caller told Howard that the camera crew never left the VIP room and they missed the real stories out in the crowd. There were a bunch of strippers from other clubs hanging out there that night.
Ralph called in and said that he can't believe that Gary is saying that he's working when he's there making an appearance. He seems to agree that he's still working for the Howard Stern Show. Howard said that all Gary is really doing is saying hello to the crowd. Gary came in and said that's right, and he admits it. Gary then went off on Ralph. He said that Ralph is good at pointing out stuff that's gone bad after it's done. He said that Ralph has been asked to do things there at SIRIUS and he always freaks out and can't make it happen. He said that Ralph has never produced a show and he's never been the idea man for anything there. Ralph said that's not true.
Ralph was saying that Howard wouldn't be so annoyed if they had come back with some decent content. Gary said that they've done this a bunch of times and they've never had problems with the audio so he wouldn't have expected it this time.
Howard asked if they sent a crew down to the Cliff Palette funeral. The only person they know went down to that was Steve Langford from Howard 100 News. There was no camera crew sent down there. Gary and Ralph went off on each other a little more after that. Gary was saying that he thinks that Ralph will end up missing out on more Friday shows over the next 2 years than he will. Gary was also saying that Ralph loves to pick on people but he never really produced anything of his own.
Howard said that he's questioning the resources that they put into these trips that the guys go on. That's what this whole discussion was about. Jessica Hahn called in a short time later. Howard said that her whole life seems to be based around Howard 100 and 101 and the SternFanNetwork site. She said that she doesn't have much going on in her life right now and she gets bored. She was feeling kind of strange after those comments and wasn't sure she wanted to call in anymore. Robin told her that she loves when she calls in.
Jessica told Howard that on Howard 100 News Doug Goodstein was saying that he wasn't going to be working down there at Scores. He was just going down to party. Howard said that if the crew was going down there on a trip where they were going to get him some tape, they should have made sure that it was going to be audible. Jessica said that they could have done some interviews before the event with some of the girls and stuff like that. She didn't think that Gary should be blamed, it should be the crew who taped it. Howard said that Jessica has a great picture of herself on the SternFanNetwork site that's pretty recent. Jessica said that it's only about a year old at the most. Howard let her go after that.
Howard took another call from a woman who thanked everyone for the laughter they've given her. She told Artie that she loves when he talks about his eating. That led back to them talking about his giant zit for a minute before they had to go to break again.
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World's Strongest Naked Woman Contest. 07/25/07. 7:45am
After a short break we heard a prank call the guys made to a woman using clips of Ol' Dirty Bastard. Fred also played an Eric the Midget song parody. Fred also played some John Lennon stuff so Howard ended up talking about how great that guy was. Howard let that play a little bit and then pulled out a clip of Daniel Carver and his son singing a song together. They did that back when they were on K-Rock. They performed ''I Will Always Hate Jews.''
Howard then moved on to the World's Strongest Naked Woman contest. He said he had three Penthouse chicks who were very hot. The girls came walking in a short time later and Howard told them that they were definitely a step above. He said they were all hot and looked great in their robes. The girls were between 19 and 23 years old. Howard said that they were going to figure out who was the strongest of the three.
Howard talked to Charlie Laine (ClubCharlie.com) who has been on the show before. She was in Penthouse in February of 2006. She said that she's doing really well and working more than ever. She's 5'3'' tall and weighs just 103 pounds. Howard said that she says she smokes a lot of weed but she wasn't baked this morning. She said that she saved it for after the show today. Charlie said that she doesn't work out so she may not do well today.
Charlie also lives with Penthouse Pet of the Year Martina Warren. Charlie talked about the naked barbecues they have at their apartment. Howard found out that Charlie went to high school but didn't graduate. Howard told her he loves that. Howard said he was going to move on to the next woman but read that Charlie is doing porn movies so he asked her about that. She said she does bondage films and Howard said he kind of likes that. He asked her what kind of stuff she does in them so she shared some of the details. She said she will only let hot chicks tie her up. She also told the guys that she just started co-hosting Gary Garver's online show. Artie laughed hysterically when he heard that.
Howard asked Charlie what she likes to do with other chicks. She said that she likes to go down on them and she can last for a good 45 minutes or more with them. Howard asked her what's more important, tongue or fingers. She said that the tongue is. She said that she has worked with both of the girls that were there with her today.
Charlie has done some Chloroform videos but she said they're fake. She said that she could demonstrate for the guys after Howard asked her to. Mike Gange pretended to knock her out and she pretended that she was knocked out. Artie seemed amazed by her 23 year old body.
Renee Diaz was up next so Howard talked to her. He asked her if she thinks that she can compete against the other girls. She said that she's going to try. Howard said that she's been in porn as well and he's amazed at how hot these chicks are and doing porn like that. The industry has changed according to Howard. She said that she does hard core movies but only with her boyfriend. She also said that she will bring girls home for her boyfriend but it depends on where they're at and their mood. Howard wondered how he could get that going. Artie said he'd throw her ten grand if she'd do him.
Artie went from 10 to 20 to 30 grand but Renee wasn't going for it. She said that if it was kept to 5 minutes, she might do it for 30 grand. Artie seemed like he was ready to take that deal. Howard read that Renee has quit smoking weed because she wants to work as a dealer in a casino.
Howard moved on to the 19 year old, Andie Valentino (ILoveAndie.com), and found out she was in the May 2007 issue. Howard ended up asking her to get naked with one of the other girls so they showed their asses. Artie said that he had to leave the room because this wasn't appropriate anymore. Howard said that Artie had a boner and told him to sit down. Artie said that it was the nicest body he'd ever seen on a girl. He asked to see her ass again and let out a ''Oh my fuckin' god!'' in a high pitched voice.
Howard said you'll have to see this on Howard TV because the girls were naked and showing how they sleep in bed together. Artie thought that the 19 year old was the cutest but they were all smokin' hot. Howard asked the girls what they did when they slept together. They said it was in the video. Howard asked Andie how many guys she's been with. She said just one, her boyfriend. Howard talked to her about that while Charlie was playing with herself in there. Andie told Howard she likes to feel other women's boobs so that's what she does when she goes out to clubs and stuff.
Howard moved on to the competition and had Charlie get on the pull up bar. She managed to do two pull ups. Howard heard from Richard Christy that Andie has really big lips down below so he asked about that. She said that she does and the other girls said that they're fun to play with and suck on. Ralph called in a minute later and said that he wants to see the girls naked on the web site but they have robes on. The girls said that you have to buy the magazine to see them naked.
Howard asked Renee to get up on the pull up bar and gave her a plug for her web site ReneePerezOnline.com. She did 4 pull ups. Then Andie got up and did 6 pull ups. She did two half pull ups so they gave her an extra point.
Howard said that Charlie was in last place so she was going to go first in the push up challenge. Will was there with his fist on the ground to make sure their chests hit his fist. Artie asked how Will got that gig and reminded him that he's engaged. Will told him to shut up. Charlie went on to do 14 push ups. Howard said he had to stand up during that. Renee then got up and did her push ups. Will counted out until she got up to 14 as well. Andie was up next and she pumped out 25 push ups no problem.
Artie let it be known that he had a raging hard on at that point. Howard said that JD was going to come in and arm wrestle the girls. Howard gave the girls some plugs. They're going to be making an appearance at the Romantic Depot this Friday night. You can also check them out in ''My First Girlfriend'' and ''Filthy'' at the PenthouseStore.com.
Howard had the girls arm wrestle JD and he beat Charlie immediately. He got a naked hug for that. Then Renee got up and JD's arm came off the mat so they disqualified him. He also hurt Renee so Howard kind of went off on him. JD won but the guys didn't like the way he was doing things. Andie got up next and the guys told JD to keep his wrist straight and not cheat. JD beat Andie after about 2 seconds and she told him he was really strong. The guys said that he's not strong.
Gary told Howard there was one more category, Best Sybian Ride, so Howard asked the girls if they wanted to do that. Howard told Andie that she had just won $1000 by winning this contest. He gave Cylaris Weight Loss a plug since they sponsored the contest. Then Andie got on the Sybian and rode that. She told Charlie she was going to have to fuck her after she got off. She asked for some tittie and screamed out while Gary jacked up the power. She said she was really horny after that and claimed that she had an orgasm.
Renee got on the Sybian after that while Gary was wearing a new mask to cover up his face during the rides. Howard said that the girls were smacking Renee's boobs around while she rode the machine. She said that she had to stop because she was starting to sweat really bad. Charlie said she'd ride the Sybian as well so Howard had her get on. He was still shaken up by the girls smacking around Renee's boobs during that last ride.
Charlie got on and asked for her hair to be pulled while she rode the Sybian. She told them to pull harder as soon as it started up. She finished within seconds. She said she loves to have her hair pulled because she likes the sensation she gets.
Doug Goodstein came in and asked the girls if they would ride the Sybian all at once. Howard told him they were done with this at that point and didn't think that they'd fit on there anyway. Howard wrapped up after that and went to break.
Stern Show Pull Up Challenge. 07/25/07. 8:40am
After the break we heard a prank call that Billy Mira did as David Lee Roth to a chicken restaurant. Howard came back and said that they made a mistake on Channel 9 news last night. He played a clip where they called NBA commissioner David Stern ''Howard Stern.'' He quickly went over that and then took a phone call. The guy didn't have much to say so Howard hung up on him and took another call. The next guy said that he's a blind guy who said he liked that they found something to do with the girls in there. Howard thought they were great guests but he has been limiting the number of naked chicks they have in there. He said that it is a radio show and they can't do that too much. Howard said that Charlie was shaking on the Sybian and they were all into it a lot.
Howard said some of the guys were showing off for the girls and doing pull ups on the pull up bar. Howard said he thinks he could do at least 6. Fred said he could probably do that many as well. Howard told Artie that the bar says that a 300 pound guy can't use it so that means Artie can't get on it. Howard warned him not to do it but he wanted to just hang on it.
Artie got on the bar and tried pulling his weight up. He wasn't able to do even one. Howard wondered who could get on it. Fred said he'd like to see High Pitch Mike. Mike Gange got on instead and was able to do just one. Jason came in after that and said he knows he can't even do one. He gave it a try and wasn't able to do one. Howard asked him if that upsets him. Jason didn't seem upset at all.
Howard asked Benjy to give it a try. He went over and got on and tried to pull himself up. Will pulled his pants down as he was trying to pull up. Benjy wasn't able to do even one. He told him to get away from the bar. Howard wanted to see what Ronnie could do since he's supposed to be a security guy. He also suggested that JD do some but Robin said that he already tried to do some. Gary suggested that they get Tim Sabean in there too.
Gary came in and did one pull up. JD then did one and tried a second but couldn't pull it off. Howard said he could do a few so he went over to the bar and did his pull ups as everyone counted. He got up to 10 and started to crack. He pulled up and did 12. Fred was up next and did 9 but Gary said that he didn't do a full 9, he did half pull ups. Fred went back and did a few more to show he could do them.
Gary said that Howard did them the right way because he went all the way down and pulled all the way up. The guys told Gary to kiss his ass a little more. Robin asked to see Jon Hein do some. Howard said that Robin had the look of love after seeing him do that.
The guys were throwing out names like Scott DePace and others who they wanted to see pull up. DePace was backing out because he was going to play golf today and didn't want to screw up his arms. Jon Hein came in and attempted to do some. Jon managed three. Scott DePace said he'd do it and hopped on the bar. He did three and gave up.
The blind caller told Howard that he was ''watching'' this show about child molesters and they had one guy whose name was Paul Shaffer and he thought it was funny every time they said that name. Howard figured you had to see it to get why it was so funny. He let the caller go and took some more calls.
A caller said that he's a cop and he was listening in his car and had a boner in the car. He said they have no idea what it's like to be a cop with a boner. Howard asked him if he can beat off in a cop car. The guy said he can't do that during the day.
Ralph called in and said that he can't believe those guys can't do more than one pull up there. He said that Jason should be able to do some. Howard let Ralph go because Artie had a story to tell.
Lisa G's News Preview And More. 12/05/11. 7:05am
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a pest control service asking for help with a werewolf. Fred also played Led Zeppelin's ''Heartbreaker'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and played some audio of Sal and Richard having people read Ronnie's poem out on the street. They had guys telling Ronnie to step his game up and to learn what a metaphor is. The guys were saying that he sounded like a young guy or an elementary school kid writing it. One guy said the words were like elementary school kid's words. They also figured that it must be a female writer. They guessed he had a 60 IQ. Howard and Robin were just laughing as these guys were commenting. One guy read the whole thing and said it was a nice poem. That guy said he must be a grade school kid. Sal told the guy that the guy was over 60. A woman said she thought it was nice and it was cheerful. She said it was also sad. She guessed that the writer was 10 or maybe he's a waiter if he's older. She guessed he had an 88 IQ. She also laughed when they told her that he was over 60.
Howard said that was a smattering of people reacting to the poetry of Ronald Mund. Howard had Lisa G cone in with her news preview. Howard said that they have a sound byte contest coming up. He said no one even knows what that is. Gary said the contest is in January. Howard said they have a shit load of sound drops that Fred plays and you have to make songs out of them. You can find out more at SiriusXM.com/Howard
Lisa G said that Benjy and Elisa Jordana recorded a song together. They put Benjy's voice through Autotune. Benjy asked how they know, maybe that's the way he sings. Howard said he knows he sang through Autotune.
Howard played the new song after explaining how he just had to get his eyes checked and he's having issues. Howard played the song (You can hear it here) and said it sounded like guitar but Benjy told him it was keyboard.
Howard let the song play and Robin said they'd be better off recording Ronnie's poem ''Winter.'' Howard said that they were basically singing about how Elisa fell for him after he got her on the Howard Stern Show. Benjy said that she loves him. Howard asked if they've had sex yet. Benjy said that they haven't. Howard asked how old she is. Benjy said she's in her late 20s. Howard said that anyone who dates has sex sooner than 3 weeks later. Howard said that it might be time to have intercourse by then. Benjy said this is going somewhere.
Howard said when you date someone for a few weeks you have sex. Robin said they've known each other for over a year. Robin said that Vinnie Favale had a phone relationship and they banged as soon as they met. Lisa said she's not sure he's telling them the truth. Howard said she might be right and he's not sure why he's talking to him.
Howard said that Benjy must have paid for the recording session. Howard said they could have recorded it up there. Howard asked what it cost them to record. Benjy said it was like 3 or 4 hundred bucks and they both paid for it. Howard asked when the album is going to drop. Robin said he should drop it now.
Howard said if she hasn't banged him yet then there's something wrong. Benjy said she wants to take it slow. Howard said he thinks that she's repulsed by him. Benjy said they make out and sleep together. Howard said no man can put up with that and not just sleep. Howard asked if he has to rub one out. Benjy said he doesn't think it's pathetic. Howard asked how old he is. Benjy said he's 40. Howard said he's like 45. Benjy said he's really not. Howard said this is pathetic. Howard said he's not a man. Benjy said ''Fuck you!'' Howard said this is like two lesbians sleeping together.
Benjy said that Howard is yelling at him for not sleeping with this woman. Howard said he's like a castrated man. Benjy said he's in love with this woman. Howard said that she's not in love with him. He said he can't read the signals. Howard said Robin and Lisa will tell him the same thing. Howard said Lisa is an adult woman. Benjy asked when her last relationship was.
Howard said he's disgusted for Benjy. He said he's as close to having a vagina as he could be. Robin said Benjy can't even keep up with his beard now. She said it's a mess. Howard said it's been a year and she's the one taking her time. Benjy isn't the one taking his time. Howard didn't know why he was even talking to him. He said he's so sick of this whole thing. He asked Lisa to stop bringing it up. He said it gets him nuts. Howard said he's never seen a guy work so hard on something like this.
Benjy told Howard they do have a sexual relationship. Howard said that she must jerk him off. Howard said Benjy has changed his entire life for this girl. Benjy asked how long it took him to bang Beth. Howard said it took 2 weeks but he only knew her for 2 weeks. He said Benjy has known this girl for a year. Benjy said it hasn't been that long.
Howard played more of Benjy and Elisa's song and goofed on Benjy some more. He was analyzing all of the lyrics and goofing on Benjy. He said this was an emasculation of a man. He said he likes Benjy and that's why he's doing this. He said that he wants Benjy to wear a dress to work from now on.
Benjy said she talks about how she falls in love with him in the song. She sang about how she loves his voice. Howard picked it apart and said the whole thing is embarrassing. Howard said he'd rather listen to Metallica and Lou Reed together.
Howard asked if they sped up the song or something. Benjy said he doesn't think so. In the song they sing about being an ''Online Sweetheart.'' Howard said that's what they are. Benjy said they're singing about how the relationship progressed.
Gary said Jason was wondering what would happen if they banned Benjy from mentioning her name on the show. Howard said they'd break up. Howard said they can go off and become lovers and then they'll have to clean the vomit off the bed.
Howard asked how long Benjy has worked there. Benjy said he started in 1999. Howard said he was going to do the math and figure out how long that was. Howard figured it was 12 years. He said that's why math is important. He said you might have to figure out how long you've worked with Benjy.
Howard said the song is horrible. He said he's forgetting the content and just talking about the song. Howard played more of it and Elisa was singing about how excited she gets for Benjy. Howard asked Lisa if she thinks that it's pathetic. Lisa said that he's changing for someone else and she feels bad. Howard said it's okay to change and grow but do it for yourself. Benjy asked what he's changing. Howard said he's growing a beard and dying it. Benjy asked if she's dying her hair. Howard said she does it for herself. Benjy asked if he puts on make up. Howard said he doesn't put on make up. Howard said he's not sure how he got involved in this. He said there's nothing wrong with doing it for yourself. Benjy said he is. Howard said he is not.
Howard said he wants out of this so he's just going to say that Benjy is such a man. He said that laying in bed with a full hard dick with a hot chick laying next to him is very manly. Howard said he's not sure how he gets any sleep. He said he'd tell her that she has to leave if that's what's going on. Benjy said he could have had sex but he's not going to manipulate someone into doing something they're not ready for. Howard said he's been with her a year. He said that she's no virgin. Howard told him to ask if she's ever done that with anyone else in her life.
Benjy said that they've only been dating for 2 weeks. Howard said he's known her for a year though. Benjy said they've only been dating 2 weeks.
Howard asked Lisa what else she had. Lisa said the drummer for a band Gym Class Heroes has given a shout out to the show by thanking Jon Hein on his album.
Lisa also said they spoke to a doctor about Gary's phlegm. She said that Gary actually has an appointment today with a doctor.
Lisa said that Johnny Fratto has told them that Eric the Midget didn't want to be near any scorpions or poisonous snakes while he's shooting ''In Plain Sight'' in New Mexico. Howard said he'll get to more of that later. He said that he has to take a break. Howard said he's sorry that the whole song took up so much time.
Fred said he's getting a vibe that this whole thing with Benjy isn't real. He said that he feels that it's like Ass Napkin Ed and Debbie the Pet Lady. Fred said that if she's really laying in bed naked and not having sex then she must not have very good judgment. Howard said he had to go to break. He wants to talk to Eric the Midget and Johnny Fratto. Howard said he warned the guy from ''In Plain Sight'' that it was going to be a nightmare. He said it's turned into a crazy scene.
Howard tried to get Johnny on the phone but Eric was there. Howard said that he has to take a break before getting to them. Howard said he has to try and get to everyone. They went to break a short time later.
Paul Mooney, Sans N-Word, Visits. 12/04/06. 7:35am
Howard said that Paul Mooney was there so he was going to bring him in. Paul came in and Howard told him he doesn't think he'll be able to stop using the N-word. He told Paul about what Katt Williams told them last week and played an audio clip where Katt said he thinks it's funny that Paul is going to stop saying the N-word because of what Michael Richards said.
Howard asked Paul what's going on and why he's going to go ahead with this. Paul said it's already a done deal and he's just saying ''no'' to the N-word. Paul said that he talked to Richard Pryor about dropping the N-word many years ago when he dropped it from his act. Paul said he thought it was wild for him to drop that word from his act. He didn't stop using it himself back then though.
Howard said he's not a fan of the N-word but he thinks that there is a certain flavor to it that can make a punch line work. He said that if it's used in the right way, by a black comedian, it can make a joke work. Paul said that he's seen the light and he's used it enough at this point.
Paul said he got freaked out when he saw Michael Richards ranting like that. He said he knows the guy seeing him doing what he was doing just made him snap. He said he thought about why Richards was doing what he did and wasn't sure why he went there.
Paul said that Richards was a great comedian many years ago before he was on Seinfeld and he was trying to make a comeback. He said that the worst part is that the black people in that audience were whiter than Michael was. He said you could hear it in their voices when they were yelling back at him. He went on to say that Michael was trying to hurt back and tried to be funny but it didn't work. He kept digging a hole deeper and deeper and he thought he was in a Klan movie or something. He said he would never give anyone the power with that word again after seeing that video clip.
Paul said he has started doing shows without using the N-word and it worked out just fine. He said that he did slip at one point but he was doing a character at the time. He said he was doing a dog as if he was talking to OJ when he let it slip.
Paul said that Dave Chappelle came to his show to see him do it without the N-word. He said that when he slipped though, the audience went nuts. They loved it. Robin said she knew that he would slip and couldn't stay on the wagon for long. Paul said that it's his right to change his mind though so he can use it or not use it if he wants to.
Howard asked Paul how often he used the N-word in his act when he was using it. Paul said it was a lot. He said he went on stage and said ''Hello black people'' instead of using the N-word the night he did that show. Paul said that people seem to want Richards to be deported from the country and stuff like that.
Paul told Howard that he thinks that Michael Richards paying off the people he offended isn't good enough for him. He said he wants Richards to have to give Oprah Winfrey head on her show. He thinks that would make things right.
Howard said that he thinks that it's kind of ridiculous that they want him to pay this family. Paul said that Michael is not well and he shouldn't be agreeing to do stuff like that. Paul said he was actually one of the guys who met with Michael when Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton met with him. Howard wondered why he was included in that group. He said they could have gotten Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy or someone like that. Paul thinks that he's one of the originators who used the word in his act so that's probably why they asked him.
Howard asked Paul if he had to agree to give up the word to be part of that meeting. Paul said that would never happen, he decided to do that on his own. Paul said he went to this meeting and Michael saw him come in. He said he seemed to be shocked to see him.
Howard interrupted and said that DL Hughley said that if the people in that audience were real 'nig*ers' they wouldn't have let Richards get out of the club that night. Paul said that there was a comedian who got beat up after using the N-word on stage. It is a dangerous thing to say on stage so you have to watch it.
Howard asked Paul if he thinks that rappers should stop using the N-word. Paul said that he thinks that it all has to stop. He got back to the Michael Richards thing and said that Richards gave him a really tight hug and told him about how he's not a racist. He said that some white people came to him and told him they feel the same way. He said he doesn't want to be the head of the Klan and that stuff scares him.
Howard wonders why Richards is talking to these people. Paul said that he had a mental breakdown, it's that simple. He said that it's time to heal and they have to make time to take lemons and make lemonade. He also pointed out that Mel Gibson was the atomic bomb with his comments and Richards was just part of the fall out of that whole thing.
Paul said that the meeting he was in was a couple of hours long. He said that Richards is not in denial and knows what his demons are. Howard suggested that he go out on tour with Richards on ''The Healing Tour'' and both of them can not use the N-word on stage. He wondered if the mood of the meeting was really heavy. Paul said things kind of lightened up as it went on. Paul said it was a big deal and they had food and liquor there. Artie asked if there was any blow. Paul just laughed.
Paul said that there were people yelling at Michael in the meeting. He said that everyone is using the word though so maybe Richards shouldn't be taking the fall for it. Howard said that the white man used that word as the last word blacks heard before they were lynched. Paul said that no one should be using that word at all now.
Howard took a call from Irish John who brought up the Barbara Walters story that Paul told a few weeks ago when he was on. He claimed that Richard Pryor had slept with Barbara. When she called the show, she said that she never did that and it was a lie. She said that it was a lie on her show when he called her during vacation. Paul laughed and said that if she denies it, what can he say. He claims he never saw them banging but Howard thought that's what was going on.
Irish John said that Paul is back peddling. Paul said that's not the case, he said that Richard told him not to talk about it until he was gone. He also had a new name to add to the list and said that Richard was with Connie Chung when she was still hot and doing the news. He said that she was coming around to see Richard all the time back then. Robin asked if he ever saw them kiss. Paul said that they were tongue kissing all the time.
Howard said that Connie was a beauty and Paul said that you have to go back about 15 years, that's when she was still hot. Howard took another phone call from a guy who asked why they're making such a big deal about Paul Mooney not using the N-word anymore. He said he doesn't give a shit himself. Artie said that if his uncle stopped using it, that would be progress. He doesn't think that it effects what white people do when Paul stops using it.
Artie said he doesn't think that white people care if a black comedian stops it. Howard took another call from a guy who said that Paul is very funny today. Howard said he's always funny. Paul said that he thinks they should start fining people for using the word like the FCC does with cursing. Howard told him that's ridiculous though and you can't fine people for speaking their minds.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he thinks that Paul is full of shit with all of this. Paul asked him if he could live in a world without that word. They spent a few seconds going back and forth on that. Howard took some more phone calls after that. One guy got Paul so fired up that he used the B-word (bitch) when he was telling the guy he was fucking his mother. Earlier he had claimed that he was going to stop using that word along with the N-word. Paul said he had a little bit of a meltdown and laughed his ass off for a few seconds.
Howard played some of the interviews that Sal the Stockbroker did with some people up in Harlem recently. Paul got a few laughs out of that stuff too. One of the guys was using the N-word like crazy during one of the interviews.
Howard asked Paul if Michael Richards is safe in this world. Paul said that Richards is going to have to go through a healing period and this is far from being over for him. Howard told Paul that maybe Richards should have to eat out Rosa Parkes and some other famous black women in history to get over this whole thing. Paul suggested Harriet Tubman. They all threw in some other names. Artie threw in Wheezie Jefferson while the other guys were throwing in other famous black women. Paul started laughing his ass off at a few of the things they were talking about at that point. Howard told him that he should have brought up that eating out Oprah idea at that meeting they had with Richards.
Howard gave Paul a few plugs for his DVD ''Paul Mooney: Know Your History - Jesus Was Black, So Is Cleopatra'' during the interview. The DVD is coming out in February.
Artie said they were forgetting about the most important black woman for Richards to eat out, Whoopi Goldberg. Paul said that Whoopi called him and asked for a pass using the N-word for one show she had coming up. After that she's going to stop using it. Artie asked for a pass using it during the next Giants game.
Paul told Howard that he saw the new movie that Eddie Murphy is in and he thinks it's going to make billions because it's an old school kind of movie. Howard asked Paul why they didn't call him to be part of that meeting he had with Michael Richards. He would have loved to have been there for that. He also suggested that they have Michael eat out the Williams sisters after they've played tennis. Paul seemed to like that idea.
Howard was throwing out more names for the Michael Richards eating out thing. Paul liked when Howard suggested Macy Gray. The figured that she probably has a big bush down there. They got sidetracked talking about Scientology for a short time. Paul then said that for the eating out show they would have to have Lassie the dog as the final eating out. Robin said she has to go see Paul doing his shows at Caroline's later this month to see if he can make it through without using the N-word.
Howard thanked Paul for coming in to clear things up... and then said that he cleared nothing up. Paul said that they still have to work on getting other people to stop using the word. Howard told him it's always a pleasure to have him there. He gave him a plug for his album and went to break.
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Will The Farter Visits. 09/13/10. 8:40am
After the break Fred played a prank call the guys made to a guy using Steve Langford audio clips. Fred also played Green Day's ''American Idiot'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and had Will the Farter come in. Howard said last time he was on the show he wasn't able to blow the bubbles out of his ass like he wanted to. Howard said he felt bad for the guy so he's having him come back in today to try again. Howard said it's not easy to do what Will does.
Howard asked Will if he's worried about the article that came out about the apps and how Apple is cracking down on the frivolous apps out there. Will said he's okay because he's just sponsoring the app. Howard said he thinks that an app where you fart into your phone and it rates your farts is a good idea. He asked Will if his app is going to be taken down. Will said he really doesn't know.
Howard asked Will if he's getting a piece of the action from the app. He said that he does up to a point. Will demonstrated the app on his iPhone. He farted into his phone and the app gives it a rating. Will sucked some air into his ass and then let one rip. Howard was having trouble hearing the fart. Will let Howard hear the phone as he ripped one into it and it gives a countdown. Then the app gives you a score. Will said it gives you a name of the fart and it gives scores based on many factors. He got a total score of 100 out of a possible 100 with that fart.
Will ripped another one and got another score. He said you can get it at FartBattles.com or in the app store from iTunes. Howard
Howard asked Will what he's been up to lately. He said he knows that he was acting as ''Brutal Master'' last time he was on the show. Will said he had another story about that. He said he does that stuff at random so he never knows when he's going to work. He said he got a call from a guy asking to do a ''forced intoxication'' thing with him. He said the guy was going to send him the cash through the service he uses. Will said the guy was going to have him get drunk and he'd yell at him. Will said he made about $500 from that. Howard wanted to act it out with Will to hear what he does. Will said that he humiliates the guy and calls him a ''faggot'' and things like that. Will said that some gay people want to be called a fag and he's never sure when it's right or not. He said that some guys will get upset.
Will told Howard about what he did with this forced intoxication thing. Then he and Howard acted it out a little bit with Howard playing the gay guy calling Will. will called him a faggot and a few other things. Howard said that Brutal Master had just put him to sleep.
Howard and Gary asked Will if he thinks he's gay. Will said he's not even though he jerks off on camera for gay guys. Will said he hasn't worked a real job in 8 or 9 years thanks to this stuff. He said he doesn't find guys good looking though. He said he's attracted to women. Howard said Will isn't that good looking so he's not sure why guys are attracted to him. Will said he's not even sure why that is either.
Howard asked Will if he's famous in the gay community. Will said he thinks he is. He said that they have groups that he checks out and they do talk about ''Brutal Master'' like he's famous. Will said he doesn't need the business so he doesn't want to give out his screen name that he uses on Yahoo. He said he can get referrals from other masters. He is known as Brutal Master so it can't be that hard to find him.
Howard did more of his gay character and asked Will to meet with him. He was also asking if he would act like he was another master if someone mistook him for someone else like Brutal Cash Master. Will said he would fake it if he had a guy doing that. Howard played along with him doing that for a few minutes.
Howard said he heard that the economy is so bad he's having a tough time making a living. Will said that things are actually turning around. He said he's doing a comedy festival soon. Howard said he should tell Obama that the economy is turning around. Howard said he heard that he was making like $50,000 a year but now it's down to about 10. Will said it was never 50. He said that he was making like 20-30 grand. He said it's very random now and he can't say how much he makes a year. Howard said it's kind of cool that he can make an extra couple grand a month.
Will said that he's in the new Jackass movie. He said that he can't tell them exactly what he does in it but he is in the movie. He said he's in SAG. Howard said everyone is in Sag. Howard said he's even in it but he hasn't been in a movie since 1997. Will is hoping that an agent will get in contact with him. Howard said he doesn't know any agents who would want to represent Will. Howard said the agent would have to be one step away from stepping out a window.
Howard said maybe Will should do a Brutal Master movie. He said they can call it ''Eat Pray Fart.'' Howard imagined what the movie would sound like and then played a bit the guys had put together for Brutal Master Will.
Howard said that Will the Farter has quite a delivery. Howard said he should sound more angry in those clips. Howard said he should get really angry when he's yelling at the gay guys. Will said he can get very angry when he's by himself. Howard said he can't act in his movie then if he can't do it in front of people.
Howard told Will to really act it out. Will tried again but it wasn't any different. Howard jokingly told Will that it was much better.
Howard played another clip of Sal and Richard doing a Jack and Rod Show bit where they used some clips of Howard doing his thing with Brutal Master.
Howard asked Richie Wilson what his problem was. Richie said that Will was over there farting and the smell was really bad. Howard asked why he was farting if he wasn't even on the air. Will was warming up. Howard said he didn't catch a whiff over where he was at. He said he would vomit if he smelled that.
Howard told Will to get ready to do this thing he was going to do. Will was in his underwear and ready to blast out some bubbles from his ass. Will was going to blow fart bubbles through a big horn thing he had. Will said he has tried it and it works now. It didn't work last time he tried it on the show.
Howard had Will do his thing. Will sucked air into his ass and then blew out some bubbles from his ass. It didn't work the first time. Will tried again and it almost made a bubble. He tried a third time after sucking in and blasting out. He finally got two bubbles to come out of the cone thing he had. Howard said that was fantastic. Will kept blowing the bubbles. Howard said ''Wait till you see this...'' Will blasted out a bunch without putting the tube up to his ass. Then he'd try blasting them out of the cone and a couple of bubbles would come out.
Howard said Will had a total of about two bubbles come out. He said it wasn't that fantastic but you can check him out at WillTheFarter.com. He said you can also find him on Xtube.com. They went to break after that.
Jon said he did 3 and he thought he was going to escape the whole thing. He said Robin was the one who brought him up. He said he was surprised he could do any. Jon said he was able to get more than a few people. He said Gary did 1 and some people did zero like Artie and Benjy. Jon said you always wonder what Howard thinks of you after something like that. He said you have no physical skills at all. JD said that you can only impress after that. He said it sets expectations very low.
Jon said he's thinking back to gym class and how he wasn't able to climb the rope. JD and Will said they weren't able to do that either. Will said they probably don't let people do that now. He said it's too dangerous to fall from that height. Will said JD would be fine though because he has his own padding. JD said that he was called tubby in the first few seconds of Will coming in. Jon said they're not bullying. He said they just break each other's balls.
Jon asked JD if he is happy that his fantasy football team did well. He said he knows he wanted to talk about that today.
Jon said that he thinks about the push up challenge that Scott did. He said that took a toll on him. He said he wonders if he thinks that he was right in that whole thing. Will said he still gets fired up about that. Jon said he wants to talk to him about that. Will said Scott thinks he did the right number of push ups. He said it was very important to him. JD laughed and said anything that involves Scott makes him laugh.
Jon asked the guys who is in shape there. They mentioned Steve, Howard, Fred, Richard and Sal. Will said that Richard can drink a case of beer and run for miles.
Scott the Engineer came in so Jon asked if he tried to do a pull up that day. Scott said he was left out and he's okay with that. Jon said he still gets fired up over the push up challenge. Jon asked if he still feels wronged about that. Scott said no. Howard asked why he still gets fired up over it. Scott said it was a very emotional thing for him. He said he trained a lot and he had to do as much as he could in 6 weeks. Scott said he was running and doing the medicine ball. He said he did that every day for 6 weeks and lost about 20 pounds. He said he never exercised before that.
Will said he had 6 weeks to prepare for 17 push ups. Scott said he wasn't able to do one before that. Scott said he thought he could lose the weight and 17 didn't seem that hard. Jon asked how many he did when he was practicing. Scott said he did maybe 20-25. Jon asked if he was worried that he wouldn't be able to do it. Scott said he wasn't. He said there was never a question about the way they looked. He said it was like a circus in the studio that day. Scott said Radu was with him that day and he was preparing him mentally. He said he kept building him up to meet the challenge at a certain point. He said it got delayed and then it threw him off. Scott said the adrenaline was thrown off. Jon said it was like a rain delay. Scott said that's right.
Jon asked who was knocking him down. Scott said Stuttering John was kind of. Scott said he can't remember who was on his side. Jon asked if he could do any right now. Scott said he doesn't think he could. Jon said he's surprised. Scott said he just can't do them based on reasons he can't explain.
Will asked Jon if he did the pull ups the right way. Jon said he did them legitimately. Jon said he thought he could do a couple but not more than he did. He said he had to just do it. He said he heard more about being able to do it than he would have if he hadn't done any.
Jon played a clip of his pull ups from the segment they replayed. After that Scott said he wasn't very good in gym class either. He said he had naked swimming as they may recall. Scott said he was pretty good at that. Jon said that was very rare that it happened like that. Scott said he was in a public school in New York City though. He said he figured that was a normal thing. He said everyone had to be naked. Scott said they never checked anyone out though. Scott said he had shrinkage of course.
Jon asked what sports Scott played. He said he played little league, baseball and bowling. He said nothing was formally done. He said he started bowling around 8. Jon asked if he ever thought that would lead to the career he has. Scott said he's much better than he used to be. He said he got better in his 40s. Jon said he thinks that people are the same way with golf. Scott said that's because of the equipment they have these days. Jon said he's not sure how they got into that. He said he got roped into talking about bowling.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Scott got robbed in that push up challenge. He said he thinks that he would have passed any kind of challenge. The caller said he thinks Scott did 17 push ups. Scott said that they were ugly. He said his back was arched but no one told him it had to look good.
Jon said Howard did 12 pull ups. He said Fred didn't get to that number but he did one more than Will did. Will said Howard was very impressive that day.
Jon asked when they saw a physical change in Howard. Scott said it was in the early 90s when he was eating better and working out at the gym. Jon asked if that inspired Scott at all. Scott said it was admirable but he wasn't inspired. He said that most people would like to be able to do that stuff. Jon said everyone has discipline in something they're passionate about. He said Scott is the one who keeps being told he has to get into shape. He said Howard really cares about him. Jon asked if he's affected by that at all. JD said it's not something he's worried about right now. He is worried but not the most. Will said that he can tell by the donut stains on his shirt that he's not worried. JD told him to shut up. JD said that he has other things to worry about right now. Jon asked if he thinks that he has time to fix that. JD said that is something that he thinks he has time to work on.
Jon said that JD is very disciplined about fantasy football. JD said there is money involved in that. Jon asked if he cares more about money than his health. JD said right now he does.
Scott said he worked out and lost 35 pounds again. He said he loves eating and he over does it at times. He said that he's going to be more reasonable about it now. Jon said he's smoking again though. Scott said he knows. He said he has to work on that too. Scott said he's going to work on that next. Jon wished him luck with that and went to break.
Jon asked Sal if he goes to the parades. Sal said they don't. Sal cleared his throat which made JD crack up. Sal said that this country is all thanks to a nice Italian man. He said that's the way he looks at it. Sal said he heard there was a lot of raping and pillaging and stuff. He said he doesn't think that's what Columbus did though. He said it's time to just give thanks. Jon asked what boat he came over on. Sal said it's not the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. He said he must have been on his own. He said he knows he was searching for Spain and found America. Sal said that some people say he didn't discover it but he did. He said everything happens for a reason. Even if it was a mistake it's still great. He said good for Christopher Columbus.
Jon asked if they celebrate other holidays like they do Columbus Day. Sal said they do. He named Halloween and a bunch of others. Jon asked if he celebrated Yom Kippur. Sal said he did. He said he has some Jewish friends who he celebrated with. Sal said he was there for Rosh Hashanah too. He said he learned that the Jewish people were slaves at that. He said that he had no idea. Sal said all of that stuff has to stop. He said we're all under the same roof and we have to stop with the separation.
Jon asked Sal what other holidays he celebrates with the Jewish friends. Sal said he didn't celebrate the Jewish new year. He said he wasn't able to attend that. Jon asked what else. Sal said he's not sure about Rosh Hashanah. He asked if that's the 4 questions one. Jon said it's not. Sal thought about it and came up with Passover. He said he celebrated that too.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about taking credit for discovering the country that was already occupied by native Americans. Sal said that they didn't do anything about it. He said they didn't have the ability to let anyone know the land was there. He said he admits that land was there before Columbus found it though.
Jon took a call from a guy who went over the Jewish holidays and told Sal to get it right because he sounds like a dope. He said he still loves him though. Sal told the caller that he did participate in those things he was talking about.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked what Sal thinks about them renaming this indigenous people day. Sal said that would upset him. He said he'll go with the flow though. He said that you have to deal with the liberals and just let it go. He said they can go ahead and change history if they want to. Sal said they can make it any day they want but he knows that it's Columbus day.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Sal is a bonehead. He told Sal he got some things wrong about Columbus. He said that Columbus discovered the West Indies. Sal asked if he was there. The caller said he wasn't so Sal went off on him saying that he's just a follower and he doesn't know what he's talking about. Sal said he should do his own research. He said just because it's printed doesn't mean it's true. JD said Sal is the one who is reading things on the internet. Sal said he does research that way. The caller said Sal had the queen's name wrong too. Sal didn't seem to care.
Jon asked Sal where he landed. Sal said he isn't sure. He said he knows he sailed from Spain. Sal said wherever he landed had to be America. He said he would guess it was North America. Jon asked if it was Plymouth Rock. Sal said it was North America and he doesn't know the specifics. He said he wasn't there on the boat. Jon said they had to stop and take a break. He said Jon Bernthal is coming in after the break.
Jon asked where he grew up. Bernthal said he was in Washington DC and it was Howard and the Greaseman. He said they had a bus driver who listened to the Greaseman and they got him to switch over to Howard. He said he's been following him ever since.
Bernthal said that Howard was off today but on Saturday he got a call from Howard. He said he got a message from him and that was the coolest fucking thing ever. He said that he was at a boxing gym working out and his lady and kids were at the mall. He said someone stole his girl's purse and they went over to find the guy. He said she got a notice saying that someone just made a purchase with her card at the Apple Store. He said the guy there said he wasn't able to show the video there. He said it was a really shitty day. He said they were driving home and he saw this number he didn't recognize. He said he checked the message and it was Howard. He said it changed his whole day. He said he kept listening to the message on the drive home. Bernthal said at the end of the day it's a great move to do something like that. He said it says volumes about the guy.
Jon asked if he thought that was someone fucking with him. Bernthal said if he had picked up he would have told the guy that he wasn't in the mood. He said it took a few seconds for it to become real. He said he loves the show.
Jon said JD has a girlfriend and Bernthal must know that. Bernthal said he does. He said that he should be okay talking about all of that stuff that he talks about. JD said he's not going to get into anything personal. He said that he's just going to say no. Bernthal said he likes the real life type porn but if you can figure out a way to work that stuff into your life then that's great.
Jon said that Jon Bernthal is in a movie called Fury. He asked if he learned anything from that. Bernthal said that he did. They spent a short time talking about the movie and the experience he had working on it.
Jon said that Bernthal was on The walking Dead and he wondered how that experience was. Bernthal said it was a great experience and it's a great show. He said there are still people on the show that feel like family to him. He said they always will be. Bernthal said he still roots for the show and he still watches it. Jon said last night's show was great.
Jon asked Bernthal about Jonah Hill and what happened with the punch. Bernthal said he didn't hit him. He said that what he said to him was that they shouldn't fake it in a Scorsese movie. He said he wanted to slap him and then as soon as they said cut he can slap him back 5 times. Bernthal said that they finally went for it but he didn't knock Jonah out or anything like that. He said he may have broken his fake teeth.
Jon gave Bernthal some more plugs for the movie and then had Jon Leiberman come in with his Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down a few things they had coming up today. He also got in a plug for today's Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45pm.
Jon said that Bernthal was staring at Leiberman like he's never seen him before. Bernthal said he had never seen him before. This is the first time he's seeing him. Leiberman wrapped up and then Jon had the guys get in some plugs before they ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard was back live this morning. He started the show talking about the big day they had coming up. He said they have Neil Young coming in. He said he's always wanted to meet him. He said Ike Barinholtz will be coming in too. He said he's a funny guy and a big fan of the show. Howard said he loves Neil and Ike loves him. Robin said it's like a big circle. Howard said that's right.
Howard said JD already came into 3 t-shirts from being so excited. Howard said he was thinking about JD over the weekend like he often does. He said this whole notion that he came into his t-shirts is something. He said that he is disgusted by it. Howard said JD was describing how he jerks off into them and then said that he changed to paper towels. Howard played a clip from the Wrap Up Show where JD talked about the change. JD said he stopped with the t-shirts and stopped because he felt like an asshole. Jon Hein was asking about what he moved on to and JD said he moved to paper towels. Gary said those are harsh. JD said some things are ''more sturdier'' than others. Howard pointed out the more sturdier thing.
Howard said he almost threw up when he heard that clip. He got a lot of email about it too. Howard read though some of that too. One guy said the t-shirts are like JD's babies and they're full of his sperm. Howard read more of the email and people were commenting on the jerking off habits of JD's. There were people making a lot of comments about those soiled shirts.
Howard said people are thinking overtime about JD. Robin said she has to commend JD for re purposing those t-shirts. Robin said he's like an environmentalist.
Howard said he thinks he has a new song about JD. He said he has the web cam girls song. He played the new song parody about JD jerking off to web cam girls. That was by Eli Braden.
Howard said that Benjy would be a big hit in prison. He said he has nice, big breasts. Howard played another clip of the guy talking about how he gave OJ oral sex in prison. The interviewer asked if OJ gave him oral and the guy said no. He said he teased OJ and danced for him. Then he walked up on him and said he could stop him if he wanted to. He grabbed OJ's genitals. He said he gave him oral sex and sucked his cock.
Howard said the guy doing the interview is the best. Howard said he might be a reporter from some rag magazine. Howard said JD had some information about who he was. JD said he didn't know specifically who it was exactly. He said it might be someone from The National Enquirer.
Howard played more of the audio and the transsexual told the guy where OJ finished and how he is HIV positive and he finished OJ off with his hand. He said he has to be careful with stuff like that. Robin asked if he has real tits or are they hormones. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard said he doesn't want to hear about it anymore. He said Gary thinks it's going to be a worldwide plague but other people think it'll just go away and we'll never hear about it. Howard said he sees it on TV and he thinks he's going to get it. Howard said he fast forwards through the news and he sees that picture of the virus on the screen and he goes right past it. Howard said he wants to stick his head in the sand and not hear anything about it.
Howard said JD found a clip of a guy on Christian radio talking about this Ebola and how it might be the great big attitude adjustment that this country needs. He said it may cure atheism and homosexuality. He said people have to make sure the blood of Jesus is on you. Howard said this is no different than what Riley Martin does. He said he's doing the same thing. Howard said he's never seen so many religious guys doing things like this. He said they're very excited about this stuff. Howard said they don't seem to love anyone. Howard played more of the clip and the guy is scaring people saying they're going to meet the grim reaper. Howard said he has never seen so many people excited over a plague.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said they're trying to say it's not that easy to get this Ebola but he thinks it's airborne. Howard said they say it's not but he's not sure how the woman in the hazmat suit got it. Robin said she may have had an open wound. Howard said they did say she didn't follow protocol. King asked how the dog got it. Howard said they don't know that the dog has it.
King said he thinks about this stuff. He asked Howard if he would want to die if his wife got it. Howard said of course not. Robin asked King of he would. King said no way.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said that he won't get Ebola because he's one of the elite. Howard said that's good to know that he's immune. Hanzi said that Howard said he was going to help him out last week but he made him look like an idiot with Chelsea Handler. Howard said he tried to put him on with her and she doesn't know who he is. Howard said when he put him on she was a good sport about it but it was over and not going anywhere. Howard said he thought it might be funny but he had to move on. Howard said he can't make the show about Hanzi trying to get a date. Howard said Hanzi is not going to fuck Chelsea Handler. Hanzi said Howard is going to say whatever is going to be hurtful to him. Howard said he just doesn't have time for it to play out. He cut Hanzi off and said goodbye to him and played him out with an Imran Khan theme song.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he would do David Letterman's last show if he asked him to. Howard said that was well read. He said of course he would do it but he doesn't think Letterman would ask him to. He said he would be honored to do that. Howard said he suggested Bill Murray since he did Dave's first show. Howard said it would be an honor to do his last show. He thanked Bobo and let him go as they played him out with a theme song by Little Mikey. They went to break after that.
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Howard came back and talked about The Band and how great this song was. Howard let that play for a short time.
Howard said Ike Barinholtz is a big fan of the show and he's on The Mindy Project. Howard said he's doing a movie right now. Howard said he looks like he slimmed down since he was on last. Ike came in doing his High Pitch Eric impression. He brought up how Eric used to scam restaurants. Ike did his impression of Eric talking about that and denying ever doing it. Howard said that was the best.
Howard said the Wack Pack has to step it up according to Ike. Ike said they have to talk about Eric the Actor. Howard said Ike was in touch with Eric. Howard said he used to DM him on Twitter. Ike said Eric sent him a DM once on twitter and he asked Jimmy Kimmel if he should get into it. Ike said he wrote back and said ''Hi Eric'' and he had like 37 DMs after that. He said that Eric wanted to remake the show Nash Bridges. Howard said he assumes he can get anything done. He said his first pitch to him was to remake that show. Ike said Eric wanted to be in the show. He said he thinks that he would have been the sidekick in the show. Ike said he had a pitch to do a semi autobiographical show where he's on shows and they get canceled and then he becomes a cop. Howard said he was 100 percent serious too. Ike said he would send him scene ideas. He said he'd just tell Eric they sounded great. He said his wife told him not to do that because this wasn't a well person.
Howard said Eric was consumed with getting in touch with Haley Joel Osment too. Ike said he was. He said that he wanted to get in touch with Haley's sister too. Howard said Eric thought he could facilitate that. Ike said he felt like he lost his brother when Eric died. He said he was on Twitter and he saw that Eli Braden had posted something about Eric dying. He said that he's really shaken up by it.
Howard said he must have been pleased that his twitter account wasn't going to be filled up. Ike said he found out who the real fans of Eric's were. He said Amy Poehler isn't a fan of his. He said she's coming in soon. Howard said he's excited about that. Ike said she can do impressions of people from the show and they're great.
Howard said Ike does a Jon Leiberman impression. Ike did that for Howard. He did a King of All Blacks impression along with that. Howard said it's a funny thing with Jon Leiberman. He yells it all. Ike said he really does. He did more of his impression.
Ike also does a Mark the Bagger impression. He did some of that for Howard and Howard played along asking questions. Ike had Mark's ''yes!'' down perfectly and answered a lot of questions that way.
Howard said Ike claims to do Ass Napkin Ed too. Ike did that impression too. Howard said Ed seems to be very angry with women. Ike kept that going for a short time.
Howard asked Ike if he does a Bobo impression. Ike did that impression for a short time. Howard said he does them all. Ike said he wishes there was a way to monetize that in some way. Robin asked if he does Beetlejuice. Ike said ''who, me?''
Howard said Ike is on The Mindy Project. Ike said that Mindy was on the show and it's amazing to hear your boss on her heels a little bit. Howard asked Ike about having Jennifer Lawrence on the set one day. Howard said the set must have been a buzz. Howard said she came up to Ike and said something. Ike said that she came by and hung out. He said she knew the director who was directing that day. Ike said she wasn't wearing makeup and she had jeans and a sweater on. He said they hung out for a while and she was very nice. Howard asked if he saw her naked pictures. Ike said he has not seen them. Howard said he hasn't ether. Ike said he agrees with her that it's a horrible breach of privacy.
Howard said that Jennifer asked to use his trailer to pee. Ike said she did and he was honored by that. Howard said she went in to pee and then Ike realized that he had a giant skid mark in his toilet. He said you eat a lot of bad food on the show and you go to the bathroom a lot. Ike said there is no way she didn't see that. He said she didn't talk to him as much after that. Ike went into his Riley Martin impression a little bit during that story. Howard asked Ike if he waited to see her reaction to that whole thing. Ike said he had his head down and she said everything was fine. He said she has some decency and didn't say anything about it. Howard wondered if she has a selfie of herself with that skid mark.
Howard said James Franco was on the show too. Ike said he wants to make a documentary about the Wack Pack. Howard said they seem to be dying off. Howard said Ike has put the word out that they have to keep them alive and get them healthy. Ike said he thinks that Hanzi could replace Eric. Ike did an impression of Hanzi for Howard and said he always sounds like he just took a gun out of his mouth.
Howard said James Franco comes on the show and Ike says he bonded with him but then the next day he didn't remember him. Ike said he clearly hadn't seen the show before. He said James came on and asked him what he does on the show. Ike said he told him and then he showed up as an actor later on and Franco couldn't wrap his head around it. Ike did an impression of Franco and did that as he was in his interview with Howard.
Ike said the movie that Franco and Seth Rogen did about going to kill Kim Jong Un is hilarious. Howard said he wants to see that. Ike said maybe they can get him a copy.
Howard said Ike auditioned for CSI years ago. Ike said he did. He said he went in and auditioned for someone who gets murdered. He said there were like 12 producers in there and this is for a small scene. Ike said he did this thing where he had to act out getting stabbed and they all laughed at him. That led to Ike doing his Crazy Alice impression. Ike said the laughing really blew it for him. He said that he wanted to get out of acting after that. Ike said he auditioned for Aaron Sorkin and Danny Boyle over the summer. He said he'd be playing Steve Wozniak in the movie. Howard said he thinks that he could play that. Ike said they sort of look alike. Ike said he had 30 pages of sides and Aaron Sorkin won't let you change a word. He said he was going to go in and try to win them over. Ike said he lied as soon as he went in. He said they asked if he had read the book and he said of course he did. Ike said he started sweating in there and in a few minutes his shirt had changed color. Ike said every pore of his body was seeping fluid.
Ike said that he can't just become someone overnight like Christian Bale. He said he will always play a version of himself. Howard asked if he got the part. Ike said he did not. He said that he was doing a movie with Amy and Tina so he had something to cushion him when he got out of that.
Howard asked Ike if he had to audition for the Amy and Tina movie. Ike said he did. He said this one is called ''The Nest'' but it may change names. He said that it's about two sisters who come home and their parents are selling their house so they have one last rager. He said it's kind of like a Superbad with sisters. He said he is Amy's lover in the movie. He said they have a whole romantic thing going on. He said he had to lose weight for that role. Ike said he had to be in shape for one of the scenes where they drive by him and see him as a muscular guy. He said you can't have man tits and just be some guy who does a good Mark the Bagger impression.
Howard asked if he joined a gym. Ike said he joined Equinox. He said that was nice. He said he stopped eating cheese popcorn and things like that. Ike said he doesn't want people thinking that Amy was being molested by some giant Ukrainian war criminal.
Howard said Amy and Tina seem to be working constantly. Robin wondered who is taking care of the kids. Ike said they're on the set all the time. Howard asked if they have nannies. Ike said they are well nannied.
Howard said he was on the set of his movie and didn't have a second to breathe. Ike said he doesn't know how they do it. He said Mindy is on the set like 18 hours a day. Howard said it's a workaholic kind of thing. Ike said they're always on the phone or working and he can't even wrap his head around it. Howard wondered how they reboot. Ike said he has no idea how to wrap his head around it.
Ike said that Tina's daughters are great kids. Howard asked if Amy's kids watch him make out with their mom. Ike said the kids aren't there on those days. Howard asked if Ike's wife gets jealous of that. Ike said his wife loves Amy so much that it's not a big deal.
Howard said Ike was at a Hollywood party and ran into Mike Judge. Howard said he thinks Mike is a genius. Howard said they're both fans of the show and they did impressions of Jason Kaplan. Ike said being a fan of the show gives you something to talk about. He said they were devolving into Jason which is just like ''fuck you dude.'' He said they'd be doing that and someone else would come by and they'd keep doing that.
Howard said Ike was on Celebrity Superfan Roundtable. Ike said he fell in love with Natalie Maines a little bit. Howard said one of the people watching from the audience gave Ike a bag of weed after the show. Ike said he doesn't know who he was but he asked if he had seen Jason Kaplan. He had like a pound of home grown weed. He said the guy asked him to give it to Jason. Ike said he didn't know if he was going to see Jason. The guy told him to just hide it for him. He said it was maybe 2 ounces of weed. Ike said he enjoys the weed sometimes. He said at the end of the day it's nice. Howard said he used to smoke when he was a kid. He said you don't know where it's coming from though. Ike said he smoked it all. He said it was fantastic too. Howard said you don't know who the guy is though. He said he could have grown it in his ass. Ike said maybe he grew it in his mother's dead body.
Howard asked how his relationship with Ronnie the Limo Driver is going. Ike said he was fine this morning. Howard said he heard he was at war with Ronnie. Ike said Ronnie can't spell so his Twitter is really funny.
Howard said that Ike claims to know Eric the Actor even better than Jon did. Howard said he was really sad when Eric passed. Ike said he had so many sagas on the show. He said it was like a German Opera. Howard said he's writing one about Eric that should be on Broadway in 2 years. Howard said it's called Eric the Actor the German Opera. Howard said it's not that creative.
Howard asked Ike what show Eric was on first. Ike knew it was American Dreams. Howard said he didn't think he'd know that. Howard asked what the name of his disease was. He knew it was Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Howard asked what Eric's middle name is. Ike didn't know that it was Shaun. Howard asked what Jon's last name is. Ike knew it was Johnson. Ike knew he called in the first time to defend Kelly Clarkson. Ike knew that he was afraid of Werewolves in New Mexico. He even knew the name of the guy who Eric told Johnny ''you know what to do... you know what to do.'' He said the guy's name was Jerry. Howard said that's right. Howard asked what Eric's IQ was. Ike was close with 94 but it was actually 90. Howard said these are hard ones. Ike knew that Eric pretended to be Romeo Blues on SternFanNetwork.
Howard sounded like he was blown away by his knowledge of Eric. Howard said he should change his name to Ike the Actor to honor Eric. Howard gave Ike a plug for The Mindy Project and said next time he's in he's going to play Win Fred's Money. Ike said he thinks he can beat him. He said it will be very close. He said he's really good at Jeopardy stuff. Howard asked Ike and Fred some trivia questions and they were both doing about the same. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he has to thank Bill Hader for doing that sketch with the puppets. He said that Bill did the sketch and it was funny as hell. He said he was so honored that he did it. Howard said that one could go on every week. He said they could make a movie of that guy and he would watch it. Robin said she was jumping up and down when she saw him doing that.
Howard said they have like 16-17 cats living with them right now. He said they had a rough weekend this weekend. He said they say goodbye to the foster cats and it's upsetting. Howard said they said goodbye to Shirley and Ellie. He said it was really hard for Beth. Howard said he can't go down to watch because he gets upset too. Howard said Beth met the couple at North Shore and she saw a black cat with a white belly with one eye. Howard said he's been there for 5 months and he's 5 months old. Howard said people just walk by and see a cat with one eye and don't adopt him. Howard said he had an eye infection and they weren't able to save it. Howard said they have such a soft spot for animals with imperfections. Howard said Beth felt bad for him and texted asking if she could bring him back. Howard said he named him Ace. Howard said he can't say no to Beth. Howard said Ace is living with them and he's up for adoption. Howard said they like to socialize them. Howard said he doesn't even need it. Howard said he's playful and fun and he looks cool. Howard said they did a photo shoot with Ace and it's up on HowardStern.com
Howard said they took some pictures with Ace and they're up there now. Howard said you can email Beth if you want to adopt one of these kittens. Howard said Ace is perfectly imperfect. Howard said that's what he'd say about him.
Howard said he figured he can't say no. Howard said he would look like a dick. Howard said this girl pointed to him on the counter and there were $1, $5 and $10 donations on there. Howard said he would look like a dick donating a dollar. Howard said that would be so embarrassing. Howard said that he decided to give $10 at the GNC. Howard said then the girl tells him he gets money off if he spends $50 or more. Howard said he was never going to use that.
Howard said what these companies should really do is just donate their profits instead of doing things like this. Robin said there are stores that sell these reusable bags and they ask you if you want to donate the money you save using your old bags to charity. Howard said he thinks confronting people at a store when they're checking out isn't a good move. Robin said they do it all the time at Whole Foods. Robin said she has gotten very bold about saying no. Howard said what he should do is ask them if they want to donate to North Shore Animal League. Howard said he'll ask for $10 for his charity.
Gary came in and told Howard that Robin is so right about the Whole Foods thing. He said he gets that at the store too. He said he always has an excuse for why he's not donating.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she's broke and she's always being hit up too. Mariann said that Eric's family sent a beautiful card for the fans. She said that it was a big weekend and she's wondering if he's decided on AGT yet. Howard said he hasn't yet. Howard played a clip of a Bill Clinton impersonator saying that Howard should get off AGT. Howard said he thought he wanted him back. He was confused.
Howard played a This Date in Howard History bit where Sarah Silverman talked about the time Howard was suspended in 1982 for a bit on WNBC called ''Virgin Mary Kong''. They played a clip of some of that bit. Howard said that bit was a pre-record like they wanted it. Fred said the suspension was like a day or two. He said they didn't have much of an explanation for the suspension. Howard said that was so stupid. Howard said he
Howard said that's the bit that led to Robin getting hired over there. Howard said he told them that he needed her to keep him under control. Howard said it worked and they hired Robin. Howard said that may have gotten him suspended but it also got Robin on the show. Howard went to break after that.
Howard took another call from a guy who had trouble getting his question out. He said he even had it written down in front of him. The caller was trying to get it out but he was having trouble with it again. Howard asked if he was high. The caller, Nick, said he is a little buzzed. He said he's retired though so he's not going to work or anything. Howard said this is a good thing for kids to hear. Nick said he has a question for Neil Young. Howard said he has waited a lifetime to get Neil on the show but maybe he'll ask this question. Nick said he wanted to know what his biggest accomplishment was. Howard said he has the answer and it's his body of music. Howard said it's incredible. Howard said the guy has spanned decades. Nick said he's phenomenal. Howard thanked Nick for the call. He said he's there and ready to go so he's going to take a break. He went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said that Neil Young is there. Howard said that Neil is there to promote the Pono music player. Howard said that Neil is his hero. Neil came in and said that it's feeding back in there. He said it's really not but he thought it was. Howard thanked him for getting up so early in the morning. Neil said he doesn't usually get up that early. Neil said that Sir Clicks a Lot is going to be there too but he must not be there.
Howard said Neil is the most prolific song writer. Neil picked up a guitar as Howard was saying that. Howard asked if he can tune a guitar by ear. Neil said he can't. He tried tuning it. Howard asked why his guys would give him a guitar that was out of tune. Howard asked him to play something but Neil said it's out of tune. He said he's completely choking there.
Howard asked how old Neil was when he started playing. Neil said he was 10 or 9. Howard said he loves that the guitar was out of tune. He said that could have been a great moment. Howard told Fred to take it out and tune it. Howard said Fred has been playing guitar for years. Neil asked Fred if he wanted to come on the road with him.
Neil said he had a ukulele that he mastered as a kid. He said his whole family was musical. He said his dad never sang for him until one day when he got this ukulele. He said his dad or mom got it for him. He said he started trying to tune it and his dad said he would do it for him. Neil said his dad tuned it and then sang a song to him. Neil said he couldn't believe the guy could sing. He said he only played it that one time and never again. He said it was the only time in his whole life. Howard asked if he encouraged him to play at all. Neil said he never told him not to play.
Howard asked when he stared writing songs. Neil said he was 13. He said that they sucked though. Howard said he thinks the defining thing about Neil is that he never gets attached to anything. Fred came back in and gave the guitar back to Neil. Howard said Neil will leave a band and he always admired that about him. He said he doesn't get hung up on any one entity. He said he's not afraid to leave a band and move on to something new. Neil said he's always ready to leave a band. He said it's not that it's not loyal but it never enters his mind. Neil said it's the music. He said he's working for the music.
Howard asked if it's about not getting his songs on a record. Neil said it can be that at times. He said when he was younger and in Buffalo Springfield there just wasn't enough room in the band. Neil said there wasn't enough room on a record. He said they could only fit 10 or 11 songs on a record. Howard said Neil was in Buffalo Springfield and it could have been a great band. Neil said they were great but they never recorded well. He said that's how they missed out on that. Neil said you need a good producer to bring that out in a band. He said someone just wasn't there at the controls. Neil said they needed someone there.
Howard asked Neil about his parents splitting up when he was young. Neil said that was traumatic. Howard said his father took off and really left. Neil said that's right. He said he didn't see him for a long time. Neil said he was maybe 12 years old when he took off. Howard said at one point his mother threw all of the records out and smashed them. Neil said she smashed her memories. He said that was really sad. Howard said there are so many sad things in life. Neil said there are a lot of beautiful things too. Howard asked if he's a sad man. Neil said he's not. He said he has a lot of love.
Howard said Neil had polio as a kid too. Neil said that has made him kind of lop sided. He said it affected his walking but everyone has something that happened to them. He said you just keep moving. Howard said Polio is a tough thing though. Neil said it's a builder of sorts. He said you have it and you wake up not being able to move. He said you have to learn to walk again. Howard asked if he had to do that. Neil said he did. He said he did that in a hospital. Howard asked how old he was then. Neil said he was about 6. He said he learned to walk again though. He said he could half run eventually. He said he was never a sports guy though. Howard said they had figured that polio thing out by then. Neil said they did come up with the vaccine.
Howard said Neil saw his dad hit his mom at one point. Neil said that everyone has a family with something in it. He said he mentioned that because he was going through time and he remembers it. He said that something happened and things happen to everyone.
Howard asked Neil if he spends hours a day waiting for inspiration for a song. Neil laughed. Howard asked how he does the creating. Neil said it's an accident and a gift. He said he has an idea and he'll just stop doing whatever he's doing and he'll just do it. He said the whole idea is to just do it. He said if you don't do it when it comes then you're throwing out that gift. He said you don't want to scare it away. He said it's like an animal or a beast and you have to treat it nice.
Howard asked Neil if he carries a tape recorder. Neil said back in the day he would just carry it around in his head. He said he likes to record things right away so he doesn't start thinking and forget what he was doing. Neil said he'll lock in a song with the melody and then he'll go in and do it in his head and hold it back and do a piece here and there in his head. Then they roll and the first thing he does on tape is the right thing.
Howard asked Neil about being the key guy as the song writer. Neil said that he's not the only guy though. He said the band works together. Howard asked if he has to be completely uninhibited. Neil said you do. He said you just do it and accept that gift. Howard asked if he worries about the reviews and things. Neil said he never does.
Howard said Neil's voice is so different. Neil said that people would say that he doesn't sound that great but he just kept doing his thing. He said that's the way he sounds and he just kept going.
Howard asked if he ever finished high school. Neil said he flunked out. Howard said he should go back because he'd be so successful. Neil said the principal told him that this music thing wouldn't last long and he had to be serious about his life. He said that he wanted to play in a night club and that's all he wanted to do.
Howard said that Neil was in a band with Rick James. Howard asked if he was a bad influence on him. Neil said he wouldn't say a bad influence. He said he was an influence though. He said the band worked out. They were called The Mynah Birds. Neil said they played and they had a blast. Howard said Rick must have been a young kid. Neil said none of them were over 20 at the time. Howard said that had to be insane living with Rick. Neil said it was. He said they did some wild things in their apartment. He said it's all very hazy to him now. He said he's glad that he made it through that. Neil said he remembers singing a song for about a day and a half while he was on something.
Howard said Smokey Robinson was helping them record and that's pretty remarkable stuff. Neil said that Rick was a draft dodger and he was trying to stay away from what he was running from.
Howard said the first song that Neil had as a hit was ''Sugar Mountain.'' Howard played some of that and Neil talked about how they recorded that and you can hear the room. He said he recorded that at Canterbury House in Michigan. Howard said the song is so great to him. He said Neil doesn't like the lyrics. Neil said he didn't say that. Howard said he said he didn't think they were the greatest lyrics. Neil said he actually likes that song. He said that it made Joni Mitchell write a song so it inspired her. Howard asked Neil if he
Howard played some of Mr. Soul and he heard that Neil wrote that in 5 minutes. Neil said it was pretty fast. Howard said he can't even comprehend that. Neil said Howard could do that in 3 minutes. He said that when he's talking he's writing a Howard Stern song. Neil said he remembers writing that song in a cabin on the bathroom floor. He said he wrote it on newspaper. Howard said he writes it and it just comes out. Neil said he sat down and started writing it down. He said he didn't know where it came from but he had to write it down before it was gone. Howard said he has never been able to do that.
Howard asked if he thinks he's a genius. Neil said he knows he's not. Howard said there are three songs that he wrote when he had a fever and they were ''Down by the River'', ''Cinnamon Girl'' and another one. Howard played some of ''Down by the River'' and talked to Neil about that. Howard said he was so mad at him when he got back together with Crazy Horse. Howard said then he heard the songs and he figured he didn't need Crosby, Stills and Nash. Neil said the story in that song just came to him in that fever he had. Howard said he loves the song ''Cinnamon Girl'' and he wondered if Neil had heard Type O Negative's version of that. Neil said he hadn't and he never heard of that band until now. Neil said he is stuck in his head all the time. He said he rarely listens to any other music. Neil said he will sit down and listen to Bob Dylan's stuff. He said he listens to JJ Cale too. He said he never really put on records and listened to them over and over.
Howard asked if he ever played with Jimi Hendrix. Neil said he didn't but Stephen Stills did. Howard said he's a great guitarist. Neil said he's a genius. Howard said it must have been the other guys in the band that were the problem. Neil said he and Stephen were always like brothers. He said he has such love and respect for him. Howard said Stephen gets Neil. Howard said Graham Nash didn't want him in the band. Howard asked what's going on with Crosby. Howard said he doesn't understand it. Neil said that playing with Stills and Nash was really great. He stopped there. Howard asked if it's the drug use that was the problem. Neil said he wishes him the best with his life. Howard said there must be a bitterness there. Neil said there is love there but nothing else. Howard asked Neil if he will ever do a reunion with them. Neil said that will never happen.
Howard asked Neil if it's hard to say no to stuff. Neil said it's very easy once you know how. Howard said it has to be hard to when you have so many people pushing. Neil said his people know him. Howard asked if Crosby came to him and apologized if he would do a reunion. Neil said there is nothing to apologize for. Howard said he may need to step in. Neil said it was fixable at one time but it didn't get fixed. Howard asked if it was his fault. Neil said he did everything he could to make sure it could be fixed.
Howard said he reads about bands and it has to be hard to keep four personalities together. Neil said they were together for a long time and they made some great music. He said there is no reason to get together to celebrate that. He said it's not about the money and they don't have to prove anything. Neil said he would like to keep the love there.
Howard said when Neil was at Woodstock he got pissed off at the cameras. Neil said they didn't need to be on stage. He said they're cameras and they could have zoomed in. He said it pissed him off. Howard asked if the other guys were upset. Neil said he doesn't know how they felt. Howard said Neil told them to get the fuck out of his face and they cut him out of the whole movie. Neil said that you can tell that they cut his name out of it. He said you hear the guy say ''Stills, Nash and Young'' and you can hear that they cut his name out. Howard asked if he went to see the movie. Neil said he did and they used something from a recording or something. Howard asked if he was upset that he wasn't in it. Neil said he didn't care. He said he was there and he was part of Woodstock. He said he knows he was there. Neil said he really doesn't care.
Howard said the band Mountain was there and their management told them not to be in the movie. Howard said it could have been good for their career and maybe for Neil's. Robin asked if he thought about that or was it just about the music. Neil said he never thought that Woodstock was anything about a career move.
Howard played the Type O Negative version of ''Cinnamon Girl'' to get Neil's reaction on that. Neil was hearing it for the first time. Howard asked if he ever got a residual check from that. Neil said he's not sure but he hopes he did. Howard said he loves the way this guy sings but he's not alive anymore. Howard sang along with the song. Neil said he loves it, it's great. He said he was digging Howard singing it. He said it sounds one generation closer when Howard was singing it. Neil said Howard can clone that guy.
Howard said he was playing ''Old Man'' on his guitar at America's Got Talent and he was hoping that Neil would hear it. Neil asked what he was doing on America's Got Talent. Howard said he's a judge. Neil laughed.
Howard said Neil wrote the song ''Ohio'' and David Crosby says he cried after they wrote it. He said that Neil went off and wrote the song in the woods. Howard played some of that song and asked how he wrote it. Neil said he saw the cover of a magazine and he was at this house in California and he was sitting in the sunshine with the creek running by. He said he saw this magazine sitting on a table on the deck and he just went for a walk. He said he came back and he jotted down the words and played it on the guitar. He said they went to record it right away. He said Crosby wanted to do that. Howard asked if they did that because they were all feeling it at that time. Neil said that when you feel it you have to get it out quickly.
Howard asked Neil if there is something that the other band members don't want to sing does that upset him. Neil said they can refuse to sing on a song but it doesn't bother him. Howard said his solo career is important because he can do anything. Neil said Stills was always there for him. He said that there were some guys who were bothered by some of the stuff he wrote. Howard said he tried to get Charles Manson a record deal. Neil said he did. He said he would pick up a guitar and just throw lyrics out. He said he had something special there. Howard asked if he was shocked that he was behind the killings. Neil said something was off there. He said the girls couldn't see anything but Charlie. He said he was there with them a couple of times at Dennis Wilson's house.
Howard asked Neil if he would rather spend a day with Manson or David Crosby. Neil said that's a great question. He said he doesn't have an answer.
Howard played some of Neil's ''Southern Man'' and said that he finds him remarkable. Howard said Lynyrd Skynyrd came out with a song and put his name in it. Neil said they were an amazing band. He said it was such a disaster when they died in that plane crash. Neil said he sent them the song ''Powder Finger'' and they really liked it. He said they weren't enemies. He said there was a lot of respect there. He said that sometimes you piss people off with what you do. He said Al Gore once said that if you're not pissing someone off then you're not doing anything.
Howard played ''Needle and the Damage Done'' next. Howard asked if he still thinks about the guy he wrote the song about when he performs it. Neil said he doesn't think it was a single person. He said it was just addiction and death. Howard asked if it was someone in the band. Neil said it wasn't. He said that happened later on. Neil said that he saw a lot of people die. He said it was a bad dawn. He said you can't just do anything. Neil said it takes a strong person to kick heroin. Howard asked if he did that at all. Neil said he didn't but he did coke. He said that he stopped doing it. Howard asked if that was easy. Neil said if you want to kick it then you can do it. Neil said it can be easy. Howard asked if it scared him. Neil said he didn't want to do it because he had seen so much death around him. Neil
Howard said Neil was in Buffalo Springfield and they were asked to be on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and he refused to go on the show. Neil said it would have been a good career move to go on but he didn't want to do it. Howard said it seemed to be kind of uncool to be on certain shows. Neil said that show was really square and wrong. He said that it wasn't right for them. Neil said that he didn't think their music had anything to do with that. He said he thought they were doing something that people weren't looking to see on the Tonight Show.
Howard said Neil is promoting this Pono player. He said he thinks that the sound is missing something. Neil said it's not the song but the audio quality. Howard asked if vinyl was good for listening on. Neil said he did originally. Howard said then came the digitization of music. Howard said that bothered Neil because he heard a difference between the two. Neil said it was about an 80 percent drop in quality. Howard said most people can't hear that. Neil said he thinks people will feel it. Neil said some people just don't get it. He said that the investors don't get it. He said that if you hear it in a certain way then you get goose bumps. He said you can get inside the music.
Howard asked how he found out about this Pono player. Neil said they built it. It was Neil and some other people. Howard asked how it came about. Neil said it started innocently enough around the turn of the century. Neil said he was tired of the CDs and he saw that the new thing happening was even wrote than CDs. He said that the quality went down even lower. Neil said there's like a 95 percent drop in quality when you record in MP3. He said that it's like going inside a museum and seeing Xerox's of the paintings.
Howard asked if he feels that this has to succeed. Neil said he just wants to give people this gift. He said that the Pono players are all sold out right now. He said they're taking orders now on PonoMusic.com. He said they're trying to make more and they'll have more in January and February. He said the demand for them was awesome. Howard said David Crosby thinks it's a bad idea. Neil said he didn't hear that but he heard he said it was poisoned.
Robin didn't know what this Pono player was. Neil told Robin that it's a music player that you can download music into. Neil said there is no hole in there to pass it along to Robin through.
Howard said Neil has a book out called ''Special Deluxe: A Memoir of Life & Cars'' which is about cars. Howard said Neil is an environmentalist so he's kind of torn with the cars and the environment. Neil said that they are going to turn things around. Howard said he doesn't think the Earth will be around much longer. Howard said we are doing such horrible things to this planet. Howard said he was talking to his dad about this. Neil said it's sad what's going on. He said since 1950 we have lost 90 percent of the fish in the ocean and we've doubled the population. He said we've lost half of the wildlife on the planet too. He said we're doing more damage now than we were back then. Neil said that up in Canada and Russia they have people doing things that are ruining the environment. He said Obama just opened up the Gulf of Mexico to Fracking. He said that he doesn't see why they're doing this. He said when all of this crap starts coming out of people's faucets and their water is on fire they just let it happen in the ocean.
Howard said he was doing a family video with his dad and his dad was talking about the disasters that are happening on this planet. Howard said that he was praying for the future populations and generations on this planet. Neil said they can do something. He said you have to focus on the positive. He said you have to realize that if the United States is the leader of the free world then why are we so behind with solar power and things like that while Germany has like 50 percent solar power.
Howard asked Neil about ISIS and what he thinks of that. Neil said we're doing more damage to the world with our wars. Neil said he doesn't like war and he thinks it's all about energy and water. He said that we have the energy from the sun to use and we're not doing it. He said if we started doing that and using our plants then we'd be in much better shape. He said there are so many things we could be doing. Neil said he drove from California to New York without burning a drop of gasoline. He said it can be done. He said we just need good leadership.
Howard said Neil has never let one of his songs be used in a commercial. Neil said that it's okay to do that but if you're going to be sponsored by something just make sure it's something good. Neil said maybe if a company made t-shirts out of organic cotton you'd let them use a song. He said that 75 percent of the pesticides in this country are used for cotton production. He said they all end up in the rivers and oceans. He said it's bad stuff. He said that the suicide rate of cotton farmers is higher than in anything else.
Howard said there are too many people on this planet. Howard said there are people who are against abortion and we have too many people already. Neil said it's a good thing for all of us if there are fewer of us. He said that if you want kids then just have one or two and take care of them. He said you don't want so many that they're a burden to society. He said these people look at it like it's taking away their freedom.
Howard asked Neil about Bob Dylan playing the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Neil sad that he always did have an eye for fashion. Howard asked if he would do something like that. Neil said if they used organic cotton he might consider it. Neil said he has friends who are great people and really nice but what they do is something he doesn't agree with. He said that he tries to push them into organics. He said he won't write them off completely for doing what they do. Neil said that he liked Reagan as a person and he concentrated on the good things he was doing. He said there was something he liked about him and that got him into a lot of trouble with the people who can't separate those things. He said he's not a hater. He said he wants to love. Neil said he knows he's not perfect but he's going to do the best he can to change the things he wants to change. He said he doesn't like using fossil fuels but sometimes he has to. He said he doesn't like that and he'd like to change it.
Howard asked if the rock and roll was about the chicks at first. Neil said that's what it started out as. He said that was before he came along. They spent a minute on that.
Howard said Neil is in a new relationship with Daryl Hannah. Howard said that woman walks the walk with the earth thing. He said that she lived in a teepee.
Howard said he has to tell Neil that his music means so much to him. He said as a young person, around 15-16 he wasn't too happy. He said his music would transport him and it has done a lot for him. Howard said just to get to know him a little bit means a lot to him. He said he's been wanting to talk to him for the past 30 years. Robin said he did Neil Young's Cat bit on the show. Neil said they should go back to that. Howard said that was Fred's thing.
Howard said Neil hates shuffle on music players. Neil said he doesn't like that it's taking over. He said on Pono it will never shuffle when you're playing an album. He said you have to make a playlist to shuffle an album. Neil said it's a respect for the artists creation.
Howard asked if he practices every day. Neil said that he doesn't but he plays a lot. He said that he likes to learn how some people play. Gary came in and said Neil really has to go. Howard gave Neil his plugs for the Pono Player, the book and for a signing he's doing at Barnes and Nobel on 5th Ave today at noon. Neil said he didn't know about that until this morning. He said that kind of scares him. Neil said he knew about Howard's show and he was looking forward to that. He said he woke up at 4:30 this morning and he was thinking about what Howard was going to ask him about. He said he wasn't able to get to sleep. Neil said that he could have said some things that could have upset his family and friends and he's glad they didn't go there. He said he appreciates that. Howard said he wasn't there to upset him.
Neil said he's only going to be doing the signing today for a little while. He said he writes really slow though so he may not get to a lot of people. He said it is nice to see people who are into what he's doing. He said he has anxiety about it. Howard gave Neil a plug for a new album he has coming out in November called Storytone.
Neil said that things are good for him but the only thing that shocks him is the mirror. He said he can't believe how he looks these days. Howard asked what he's into these days. Neil said he's into paddle boarding. He said he's going to be doing that tomorrow morning. Howard asked if he worries about the Paparazzi seeing him. Neil said you never know where they are so he can't think about that.
Howard said Eddie Vedder is his buddy. Neil said he is. Howard said he wants to write with them. Robin said that they're coming to get Neil. They wanted to drag him out of there. Neil was still talking about this new record that he did and there are no over dubs on it. He said some of the people who played on it were thrilled to be on an album like that. Neil said that they have one shot at a time. Neil said the orchestra had charts and arrangements and stuff.
Howard said Neil was doing a set once at MTV and he just walked off. Neil said that was at the Ed Sullivan theater and he had to get out of there. Neil said it was just wrong. He said it might just be bad weather. He said some days just don't work out. Neil said it's the cosmic weather. He said you can't always have it.
Howard asked if he still smokes weed. Neil said he does every once in a while. He told Howard to try Black Pepper. He said if you get paranoid try chewing pepper corns and that will take away the paranoia. Howard said he should try that. He said he's never heard that. Neil said he's not saying that you should get high.
Howard wrapped up and said he's getting yelled at by his management. Neil said it's all good. Howard said remember what he says... black peppercorns. Neil told him to try it in his own home and not out in the wild. Howard said he knows. They went to break and played Neil's ''Powderfinger'' as they went.
Howard said that was a lot of fun for him. He took a call from a guy who said he wanted to thank him for the interview. He said he's been a lifelong fan and Neil has been a tremendous influence. He said it was great to hear him in the studio like that. Howard said it was a thrill for him too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said these interviews have been hit out of the park lately. He asked if there is anyone else he'd like to get in there. Howard said he'd like to get Mick Jagger. He said he'd like to talk to Eddie Murphy again too. Howard said he loves Eddie. Howard said he'd love to talk to Dan Aykroyd too. He said he's put that out there many times and Dan never picks up on it. Howard said it's just one of those things. Robin said maybe they need to hammer on him a bit. Howard said maybe not.
Howard said he mentioned this kitten they have named Ace and he wanted to mention that again. Howard said the picture of Beth in her bra is up on HowardStern.com. Robin said that she has a friend who has kids who follow Beth on Twitter and they love the kitten pictures and they get really quiet when she posts her bathing suit pictures. Howard said he used to beat off to bra pictures when he was a kid.
Howard said he beat off last night. He said the porn was called ''Nerdy Teen Being Seduced by Guys'' and it was German porn. Howard said it's something you really have to see. Howard said the girl is really hot. He said that this awful looking guy comes up to her and asks her a question. He said he loves this premise. He said that he was naked and watching the conversation and not stroking it too hard. Howard said then the guy asks for her help with working Google. He said she's showing the guy and then he's stroking her hair. He said then they cut to him fucking her immediately. He said they cut right to it. Howard said he beat his meat and everything worked out fine. Howard said he doesn't think the guy ever learned to use Google.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called in recently. His name is Matt and he has a speech issue. Howard said he is looking for more people to be in the Wack Pack. Matt called in saying he wishes that Howard was his dad. Howard asked if this is really the way he talks. Matt said it is the way he talks. He said his wife says that he may get into it more when he's nervous. Howard asked if he has a wife. Matt said he does. Howard said he hopes she sounds like him and then they'll have a Wack Pack couple. Howard made fun of Matt's laugh. Matt said his wife has a genetic disorder too. Howard said that Ike Barinholtz is already working on an impression of the guy.
Matt said he thinks he has PTSD. He said he thinks he has it from going to the Dominican Republic as a child. Robin asked what he does for a living. Matt said he is the caretaker for his wife. Howard asked how he makes money. Matt said he gets small amounts from taking care of his wife. Howard said he's kind of like Eric the Actor's Jon.
Matt said that he has to be quiet or he'll wake up his wife. Howard said he'd like to hear that. Matt said his wife told him to call the show today. He said she wanted him to ask if there is anything they can do about getting a service dog and stem cell stuff done. Howard asked if she was disabled before he met her. Matt said she was. Howard told Matt to stay in touch. He said he really has to go. Howard said they can give him JD's stem cells.
Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh. Jim said that interview with Neil was great. Howard said they have to get him back in there for more. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news talking to Howard about the new season of The Walking Dead and how it set a new record for ratings. Robin said it had 17.3 million viewers. Robin said that's a new record and last year it was 16.1 million.
Robin read a story about a veterinarian who was euthanizing animals to give herself the ability to gamble. Robin read more of that story and said that she was sentenced to 25 years. Robin said she was telling clients that the pets were put in good homes. Howard said that's cold. Robin said it is.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he hasn't decided on AGT yet because he's working with a deal with Sirius. Howard said they have nothing to do with each other. Howard said he didn't work yesterday and he liked that. Howard said he thinks he might not want to work anymore. Howard said he just wants to get up and beat off and maybe go back to sleep and read the paper, beat off, go back to bed, eat lunch, beat off and so on. Howard said he thinks he'd go to art school or go back to college or something. Robin said that Neil Young and John Mellencamp never took art lessons. Howard said that there are ways of learning how to do it without school but there are plenty of things to learn in school. Howard said he likes to learn. He said Mellencamp is really good. He said he hasn't seen Neil's work but he did see John Mellencamp's work.
Robin read a story about George Clooney's wife and if she's going to take his name. Robin said that she is going to take it and she's now Amal Clooney. Howard said he'd consider taking his name. Howard said he'd like to be Howard Clooney.
Robin read a story about Leon Spinks being hospitalized over the weekend. Robin had some details about that and said he is recovering.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks Neil Young has tape of himself with Charles Manson. Howard said he bets he does. Howard said he has played some of Manson's music on the air and he sees what Neil was talking about with his free spirit. Howard said John Lennon used to record street musicians. Howard played some of Manson's music but the caller said he understands if Howard wants to retire.
Howard had the guys in the back on the line playing Leon Spinks audio clips. Howard asked him about his hospital stay and they played clips of Leon mumbling unintelligibly. Howard spent a couple of minutes doing that.
Robin read a story about the amount of sleep people need. Robin said scientists found that men need 7.8 hours of sleep a night and women need 7.6.
Robin said that they're saying that Hitler was a Meth addict. Robin said she didn't even know they had it back then. Howard said if he was then it all makes sense now.
Robin read about the Catholic church and how they're having a shift in tone toward gay people. They spent a minute talking about that before Howard did a live commercial read.
Robin read a story about Kim Jong Un and how North Korea says he has reappeared but he is walking with a cane. Robin said it looks like he's still in charge. Howard said he thought he might be dead. Robin said there were a lot of rumors about Osama bin Laden dying before they actually did find him and kill him.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for the great interviews he's been doing lately. The caller asked what's next. Howard said Martin Short, Chris Rock, Jim Carrey, Amy Poehler and more are coming in this month. Robin said she saw the trailer for the new Dumb and Dumber movie. Howard said they're going to have a busy month. Howard said next thing you know they'll be in the dead of winter and freezing. He said he really hates winter. Robin said she's not a fan either. Howard said he wishes they could go somewhere and do a show where it's warm. Howard said Fred's house is warm. Fred said he'll turn up the heat.
Robin read a story about Sayreville High School canceling the whole season of football. Robin said they say the locker room environment wasn't good. Robin said they were penetrating some of the younger students with their fingers. Gary said they were doing that and then sticking their fingers in the kid's mouth. Howard said he's not sure why anyone would let their kids play football. Howard said everyone he knows who played football has problems with their knees now. Howard said you don't stick your fingers up someone's ass like that unless they're gay. Howard said it's either that or they're just sadistic. Robin said they're talking about canceling next season's games as well. Robin said they say they're calling for the coach to be fired. Robin said they say this has been going on for years there. Howard said he used to do that to Fred but it was only for pleasure. Fred said he didn't have to sniff it or lick it.
Howard said Benjy would have been the captain of the football team. Robin said he can probably play football really good now. Fred played Benjy's screaming clip a few times. Howard asked Benjy if that scream was legit. Benjy said it was but it was more psychological. Howard asked how long the finger was in his ass. Benjy said that Howard and Robin were yelling at them to stop. It was supposed to be like 30 seconds or a minute or something. Benjy said it was touching to hear Howard and Robin talking about it. Howard said he just wanted it to stop. Benjy said he felt so weird about it. Howard said that guy put his finger up his asshole. Howard said just imagine some guy doing that to you in high school. Howard asked how you know it was a finger and not a cock. Howard said they so want to be on the team that they're willing to put up with that crap. He said it's like being in a frat. Howard said he would just play soccer instead.
Gary came in to talk about the finger up the ass thing. He said that it's one thing to stick it up the ass. He said he wouldn't even want his finger in someone's mouth. Gary said that he wasn't for his son getting into a frat. He said he was all for the football thing though.
Robin said Clay Aiken is running for Congress and they had a debate. Robin said she has some audio from that debate. Robin had Howard play some of that audio. Clay was talking about not sending ground troops to fight ISIS. Robin had a couple of clips so in another one Clay and his opponent were going at it over something.
Robin said a smoke bomb was thrown down a subway grate. Robin said she hopes that the person who did that gets some serious jail time.
Robin read about an Ebola victim in Texas and how the person may have gotten it. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about that.
Robin read about Oscar Pistorius and his manslaughter sentencing.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she just got divorced and Neil Young was so amazing that she couldn't get out of her car to go to court. Howard thanked her for the call.
Robin read about a model who is brain dead after a biking accident. Robin said she was crushed by a bus and she wasn't wearing a helmet so she's brain dead. Howard said he's sure that she could get a date with some of the guys there on the show. Robin said they say that this is devastating to her boyfriend and family. Robin had a quote from Bob Pittman who knew her.
Robin read a story about U2's new album and how they're going to have more on the album release than the free version that iTunes offered.
Robin read about some of the songs in the top 5. She had Howard play those songs and said that Iggy Azalea was in there.
Robin read about how Sears is selling jewelry with a Swastika on it. Robin said someone must have been asleep at the wheel when they put it up. Howard said Mel Gibson loved that. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon said he thought that he was very upbeat and comfortable in there today. Gary said he thought that one of the funniest lines was when Neil talked about the cameras at Woodstock and how they had cameras that they didn't need to be on stage with because they can zoom in.
Jon said that Neil has a track record of just doing his own thing and not basing his career on what other people think. Jon said he was in there for an hour or hour and a half and it wasn't enough. Gary said they could have gone through 50 songs and it wouldn't have been enough.
Jon said Neil was talking about his relationship with the guys in Crosby, Stills and Nash. Jon said that Neil said the way they got along doesn't matter because it's the music that matters.
Jon took a call from a guy who wondered how aware of Howard Neil was. Gary said he has known about Howard for a long time but he's not sure if he listens to the show or anything like that. Jon said he thinks that he's familiar with the show and Howard. Gary said he knows Neil knew about the ''Neil Young's Cat'' bit they did. He got a big smile on his face today with that.
Gary said he was a beta tester for the Pono player. He said he wasn't allowed to talk about that until today. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Jon said fans have known Howard is the best when it comes to those type of interviews. Jon said that Howard is damn good at this and that's what the fans are saying. Gary said it's something for people to put on their bucket list now. Jon asked if he was surprised to hear that Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young won't be getting back together again. Gary said he's heard that before. He said there always seems to be room for change.
Steve Brandano said he thinks this one is believable. He said when Neil Young says it the way he does then you believe it. Gary said that's what Pink Floyd said too. He said they got together though. He said it was for something important and that could happen with these guys too. Jon said he's with Steve and he thinks it won't happen but he said never say never.
Jon said he saw The Who doing a farewell tour back in the late 80s. Gary said that they did that and then they got back together. Gary said he remembers hearing Steve Perry saying he would never tour with Journey again and they went out like 3 years later. Jon said that the new guy is great and they don't need him. He said the documentary about that guy is great too. Gary said it's going to be weird if they get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Gary said that's what happened with KISS.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary how he felt when he knew Neil Young was coming in. He asked if he got a call and jumped up and said ''Fuck yeah!'' Gary said that's pretty much how it went. He said he got a call from the manager and he told him that he wanted to come in on a certain date. Gary said he did the ''yes!'' thing and it was a great feeling.
Gary said he has said this a lot. He said if someone has a project that's really important then they may come in to promote it. He said this Pono thing is very important to Neil so maybe that's why he came in. They went to break after that.
Gary said he was amazed that Ike knew Jon Johnson's last name. Jon said that Ike and Ronnie seemed to get along just fine today. Gary said that he also mentioned that Amy Poehler will be doing a Mariann from Brooklyn impression when she comes in.
Jon played a clip of Ike doing his Ronnie impression and talking about how he can't spell on Twitter. Jon said Ronnie has taken Twitter to another level. He said that he must be thrilled to hear this stuff. Jon said Ronnie is all over it. Gary said Ronnie reminds him of one of those guys who gambles for the first time and then gets addicted. He said that's the way it is with his Twitter. Jon said that Ike was also talking about Jason and how he became a conversation with Mike Judge. Gary said the show is such a piece of people's lives that they can talk about Jason or talk about how Steve Brandano answers the phones.
Jon said for Ike this was the second time through. He said he killed the first time and did a great job this time. He said it's different the second time because you feel more comfortable. Gary said he did seem to feel more comfortable. He said he was shot out of a cannon last time. Gary said the only person who might rival him is Natalie Maines. He said that Carol Leifer tries to hide how into it she is but Natalie wants to put an ear piece in and listen to the show in the car with the kids in the car.
Jon said that Howard was talking about Ebola and people are starting to get scared. Gary said he was sitting in his nice house the other night and all of these Ebola stories are happening. Gary said that they're the family that's the first 5 minutes of that family where they are fine and then they're dead in a few weeks. Jon said a lot of people are worrying. Gary said Jason told him he has nothing to worry about. He said that he thinks it's contained and he has nothing to worry about.
Mike Hambrick was in with the Howard 100 News headlines and he was saying that this could be the worst epidemic of all time. He said he's concerned about it. Gary said that movie Contagion reminds him of this. He said it's insane.
Jon had Mike give his Howard 100 News headlines. Mike ran through a few and also got in a plug for tonight's Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:20am.
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Howard started the show with some problems from Robin's microphone. There was music playing through her microphone. Howard turned it up a couple of times and asked Scott what's going on. Scott said he didn't know. He said he's checking. Howard said while they're at it they can tune Neil Young's guitar a day later. Howard asked Scott if she's there. Scott said something got switched. He said they checked it this morning and it was working. Howard finally got Robin.
Howard said he was up at 1 in the morning and he's cranky. He said he fell asleep at 4 and then got up at 4:30. Robin said he needs 7.6 hours of sleep. Howard said he got about 3. Robin said he can't let his past bother him. Howard said he was about to talk about something and he turns up her microphone and it throws him off. Howard said we're all going to die with this Ebola thing. Robin said it's in Texas and they can outrun it. Howard said he's not sure who to turn to. He said Mark Zuckerberg has several billion dollars and he put up 25 million to find a vaccine. Howard said at least he's doing something useful with that money. Howard said we're all bankrupt with the wars and things we're doing.
Howard read an article about Ebola and they say that you have to bury the bodies quickly. Howard said we can't even get a guitar tuned or Robin's microphone up.
Gary came in and said that they played a clip of Obama last week saying that everyone turns to us. He said we're being blamed for the Ebola spread in Africa. He said they say we're not acting fast enough even though it was in another country.
Howard said they say that we have to face Ebola now or we're going to be in trouble because we don't have a plan for this. Robin said there is no way to play for this. Howard read about how the outbreak was far deadlier than previously thought.
Robin said this is what happens when we allow poverty to exist. Howard said he would be building a dome like on The Dome if it was up to him.
Howard said that George Clooney got married and the wife changed her name to Clooney. Howard said there's a lot of negativity toward her for doing that. Howard said he doesn't care if you change a name. Howard said that there is something sort of magical if you do share a name. He said it's nothing he can pinpoint and put his finger on. He said there is something in his situation that happened when the two of them shared a name. Howard said Beth hasn't legally changed her name but she does go by Beth Stern. Howard said there is a feeling of bonding that occurred. Howard said Beth didn't do it right away. Howard said that it was a personal thing for her. He said it made him feel good about it. Howard said if this woman wants to be Amal Clooney then why are so many women coming down on her? Howard said she changed her name at the law firm and people are upset about that. Howard said he's not sure why this tradition is being attacked. Robin said this is a problem that many people have. They can't mind their own business. Howard said she should become Amal Clooney-Clooney. Howard said she could just become George Clooney. Howard said that would be great. Howard said he's going to ask Beth to become Howard Stern.
Howard said when he read about this Oprah thing he was overwhelmed with the crass commercials. Howard said she already has money for a lifetime. He said they sell lunch for $17 and it's half a sandwich and chips. Howard said it's half a sandwich. He said they have a wrist band that lights up when she comes out and people pray to her. Howard said he thinks Oprah is eating the other half of those sandwiches. Howard said they were selling just about everything at this event.
Howard said they sent Wolfie to this event so he had some clips to play. Howard played a clip where Wolfie asked a woman if she would bump off Gayle King to get close to Oprah. The woman said she would. Wolfie asked her to respond how she would when she sees Oprah. She let out a scream. Fred played Benjy's scream to go along with that.
Howard played another interview where Wolfie was talking to one of the women and she was quoting Oprah. Howard played one where a woman said that Oprah is more important than Rosa Parks. Howard said he thinks Oprah would be appalled by that. Robin said she thinks she would buy into that. Howard said Rosa Parks was risking her life to do what she did.
Howard played another clip where Wolfie asked a woman if she's ever heard Oprah plug her SiriusXM radio show and the woman said no. Howard said these people were going nuts.
Howard played another clip of a woman talking to Wolfie and she could barely speak. Howard wondered where these people come from and where they get the money to pay for all of this stuff they were buying. Wolfie asked the woman what she would change about Oprah if she could change one thing. The woman said nothing. Howard said she was bought in hook, line and sinker. Howard said that woman is also JD's vocal coach.
Howard said a hoodie cost $60. Howard said he could clean up at a Howard-Con but he refuses to do that. Howard played another clip of a guy talking to Wolfie about being there with his wife. The guy said that Oprah takes over the wife's life and that's why he was there.
Howard played one more clip where a woman screamed when Wolfie asked how she was going to respond. Howard cut that off and took a call from Casey Kasem's corpse who is still on a tour of the world. Casey was about to go down a water slide and said ''Wheeeee!'' as he went down. Howard said he had to take a break after that. He said that Meghan McCain is stopping by today. Howard said she's Senator McCain's daughter. Howard said Russell Brand is going to stop by too. Howard said he's always in trouble. They went to break after that.
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Mitt said that he'll be calling ISIS by that name and not by ISIL. He cleared his throat and Robin asked if that was an orgasm. Mitt said it was. Mitt said his iPad looks like a glazed donut after seeing the Jennifer Lawrence nude pictures.
Howard told Mitt that Eric the Actor passed. Mitt said he's sorry he had a short life. He made a couple of other short jokes about Eric. Mitt said as a republican he respects that Eric didn't want to play a gay person on a TV show.
Howard said one of their cast members is on paternity leave. Mitt said he supports Shuli on that. Mitt asked Robin how Vag Fest was. Robin said it was VegFest. Mitt said if they ever go on a date he's going to paint his penis like a zucchini. Howard said he had to go. Mitt said he gets first dibs on Nick Cannon's monster sausage. Howard let him go after that.
Howard took another call from Casey Kasem's corpse. Howard said he has moved locations once again. Casey said he was calling in from the Gaza strip. He said his fingers are being broken off to hurl at Israeli soldiers. Howard thanked Casey for calling in.
Howard said Nick Cannon got a recurring role on Brooklyn 99. He said the guy is really busy. Robin said that he got a new tattoo and covered up the Mariah thing on his back. Howard said he saw that and that must mean things are really over.
Howard said he got fan mail from Lou Christie who had a hit song called ''Lightning Strikes'' in the 60s. Howard said he is a fan of the show. Howard had Fred play his song. The song came out in 1966. Howard said he was like 12 years old at the time. Howard said you know by tomorrow there will be a bunch of Robin songs to the tune of that song. Howard said he has some new Robin songs to play.
Howard said he has so many song parodies. Howard played one to the tune of the America's Got Talent theme song. Howard said he listens to them before he goes to bed at night. Howard played one to the tune of Neil Young's ''Cinnamon Girl.'' That was about Robin. Howard said he had a Little Mikey song too. That was to a Joan Jett song.
Howard said he has a ton of comments about JD jerking off into t-shirts. Howard read some of the email he got about that. Howard said people are shocked. One guy said he's probably impregnated 6 women at the dry cleaner. There were people saying that the Ebola virus looks like the jizz stains on his shirts. Howard said the song parodies are coming in too. He played one by Little Mikey about JD cumming on his t-shirt. Howard said there are so many. He played one more by Daniel Mendelson about JD loving web cam girls.
Howard said there are so many emails. Howard said there is some praise in there. Howard read one where the writer talked about how amazing the interviews have been lately. The guy said he's amazed he would talk about retiring. Howard said he must have said that in a moment of despair. Howard read some more about Robin and how people are happy that she's doing well.
Howard said yesterday he talked about Ace the kitten and Beth heard from hundreds of fans who want to adopt him. Howard said Beth has chosen a family. Howard said it's a doctor and her husband. Howard read some email about the picture he took of Beth in her bra with the kitten. Howard said he took that picture. Someone wrote in and told him to get Beth into a nice bikini that just covers her nips so she gets a nice tan on her globes. Howard said he told Beth about that one and she might just do it.
Howard read some feedback about Neil Young. He had a bunch about how good that interview was. Howard said there were so many. He said he could go on and on. Fred said there were thousands of emails.
Howard said he expected Neil to sound like he had a high voice but he has a very masculine voice. Howard said that hour and 15 minutes just flew by yesterday.
Howard read an email about how great Ike Barinholtz was on the show yesterday. Howard said he got some email about JD using paper towels from someone who does the same. Howard said the guy was defending JD for using them.
Howard said he read that Jonah Hill put on all his weight and he's up to 300 pounds. Howard said he hopes he's doing alright because he likes the guy. Howard said he had to take another break after that. They played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a guy using Ronnie ''Scoresman'' audio drops as they were going to break.
Howard eventually started singing along with the song. Howard asked if he won Robin over with that. Robin said she was just thinking about how she can't wait for him to do that music show. Howard said he thinks about painting to this song. Howard said he remembers the first time he heard that song. He said he was on a floor with tons of hash around. Howard said he was laying there in some guy's house listening to the song. He said that was the real deal. He said he sat and listened to the whole album.
Howard said Meghan McCain is there. Howard said she's very good looking. Howard asked if guys hit on her a lot. Howard said he met her dad and her mom. Howard said he's a big fan of her dad's. Howard said he's a war hero. Howard said that he's a republican but he's also on the side of stem cell research. Meghan said he believes in climate change too. Howard said he's a reasonable guy. Howard said he can understand the guy. Howard said he didn't vote for him because of the Sarah Palin issue. Meghan said that she thinks that he could have Jesus as a running mate and it wouldn't have changed. She said that it was Obama mania at the time.
Howard asked if she got to know Sarah Palin at all. Meghan said she liked her when she first met her. She said that most politicians aren't like her. She said then she changed her opinion of her. She said it's very awkward now when she's asked about her. She said it's like her crazy aunt that people want to tell her about. She said she's going to be linked to her forever. Howard said that's what he thinks cost her dad the election. Howard said they didn't vet her. Meghan said that it's been 7 years and she's smarter than people give her credit for. Howard said that she couldn't answer the question ''What periodicals do you read?'' Meghan said she thinks she just got nervous. Howard said then she quit her job. Meghan said every time she does something she's culpable.
Howard said no one holds her responsible but it's an interesting part of our history. Howard said it's mind boggling that she was chosen to run for vice president. Howard said that people are trying to figure out how this all happened. Meghan said that her dad's funds tripled when he chose her.
Howard asked Meghan about being involved with her dad's campaign and said he doesn't think that Obama really wanted to be elected. Howard said he doesn't think he even expected to win. Howard said he thinks that it was a heart breaker for John McCain. Meghan said that he had a very difficult time. Then he went back to work and started obsessing over other things.
Howard said Meghan says that she had to take a lot of Xanax after the campaign. Meghan said she was so stressed out from that. She said that she was eating bad food and she gained a lot of weight. Howard asked if young people wanted to attack her over that. Meghan said she used to but she's on the board of GLAAD and she's trying to help the republican party. She said that it's the young people she has a problem with. Howard said he thinks that the republican party has some good things to say but there are some maniacs who don't want any compromise. Meghan said there is an internal battle going on. Howard asked if she hates the Tea Party. Meghan said she doesn't but she's not a Tea Partier herself.
Meghan said she's fascinated that Howard is friends with Chris Christie. Meghan said she met him and didn't find him very warm. Howard said he has spent some time with him and his wife and on a personal level he's very warm. He said he's very down to earth too. Howard said he had discussions with him about his personal life and he finds him to be refreshingly honest. Howard said he thinks he'd be a great president. Meghan asked if he could be president. Howard said he would hope so because he would get to go to Camp David. Howard asked Meghan if she's been there. Meghan said she hasn't but she's heard stories. Howard said they say if the public ever got to see Camp David that there would be a revolution in this country.
Howard said it's a funny thing when you grow up like Meghan did. Howard said that her mom is very wealthy. She's worth like over $100 million. Howard said he hopes that she never gets into a fight with them. Meghan said he has no idea what she's actually worth. Howard said she must know what her dad is worth. She said senators aren't paid very well. She said her mom is the one with the money. Howard asked if she's ever sat down with them and asked what will happen when they do pass. Meghan said she's one of 7 kids. Howard said he didn't know that. Meghan said she has an adopted sister and 2 half brothers and a half sister from her dad's first marriage. Howard asked if that troubles her. She said it doesn't. Howard said the other 3 aren't going to be in the inheritance.
Meghan said when you have famous parents you either work really hard on your own or you're a fuck up. Howard said he thinks that she's going to get some of that money in a 5 way split. Meghan said her mom was so glad she was going to meet Howard because she thought he was wonderful. Howard said he's a big admirer of her dad. Howard said he was locked up in Vietnam and he was able to stay focused and survive. Howard asked if she ever talks about that with him. Meghan said on occasion they have. She said they did a movie about his book and they did a reenactment of that. Howard asked what he said was the worst thing that happened to him. She said he can't bend his left knee or raise his arm above his head. She said people make fun of him over the way he walks. She said those are war injuries.
Howard said that Meghan's brother is in the military. He said that they don't have to be. Meghan said two of them are in there and they both love it. She said one is a Marine and one is a Navy Pilot. Howard asked if she's worried sick about them. Meghan said that she is. She said that her one brother is so happy that she's in there with Howard. Howard asked how many Taliban he has killed. Meghan said that he was talking about what a big fan he is of the show and how he wishes he was there with her. Howard said this Taliban is such a nightmare and all these people know is blowing up and harassing. Howard asked if her brother will ever kill one when she's on the phone with her. Meghan said maybe he will call her in the middle of that. Howard said he would be so proud to hear him kill someone. Howard said 9/11 was no joke. Meghan said she was listening to the show that day and that's how she found out what was going on.
Howard said that we have the best military in the world. Meghan said we do and we don't give the veterans enough attention. Howard asked Meghan to tell her brother to yell out ''Baba Booey'' when he kills someone. Meghan said that he'll probably cry when she tells him what he said.
Howard asked Meghan about going to catholic school. Meghan said that was not fun for her. She said she hated that.
Howard asked Meghan if her parents were weird about her dating. She said that she didn't date a lot in high school because guys were intimidated by her dad. Howard asked Meghan about the first time she made love. She said that it was horrible. She said that it was one of the worst experiences in her life. She said it was painful and awkward. Meghan said she wondered why anyone does it after that first time. Howard said we're so curious to see what it's going to be like. Howard said he was 16 when he lost his virginity. He said that they were both horrified by it. Howard said she had her period and the whole thing was a nightmare.
Howard asked Meghan if she was nervous that it was going to become the story at school. Meghan said she still worries about that now. She said she never knows if a guy is into her or if they just want to say they banged a senator's daughter. She said that she has a constant fear. Howard said it would devastate her if it's just some guy trying to get another notch on his belt.
Howard said he came to the conclusion that some people used him and he was using people too. He said it was a mutual use. Howard said there was one person who he felt reported them going to the newspaper. She denied it but he didn't trust her afterward. Howard asked if she's dating now. Meghan said she's not.
Howard asked Meghan about The View and how she has been on the show a few times and she does really well. Howard said he heard that Jenny McCarthy didn't like her. Meghan said she was very frosty when she saw her last. She said it was such a different experience at the time. She said she really liked Jenny though.
Howard asked if Meghan was offered the job as the conservative on The view. She said she was never offered the job. She said she was in talks though. Meghan said she's got a show on Pivot. Howard said this is on cable. Meghan said that it is. She said if you have DirecTV you can see it. She said she loves doing it and it's really fun. She said she's the token republican on the show. Howard said that The View is a more public show than this one. Meghan said that it is but she loves her job. She said she has creative freedom. She said The View is tricky. Meghan said Whoopi and Rosie couldn't be nicer to her. She said she just saw them yesterday.
Howard said he read that she was an intern on Saturday Night Live. Meghan said she did it when she was in college and Lorne Michaels offered her the job. She said she did errands for Lorne's assistants. She said it was the most unglamorous job ever. She said it was a crazy experience. Howard said it must be fun to see how they put that show together. Meghan said that she was there when Ashlee Simpson was caught lip syncing. She said that Ashlee must want to kill her for bringing it up.
Howard said Meghan came out against Ann Coulter. Meghan asked if he's ever had her on. Howard said he doesn't think so. Robin said they have not. Howard said he likes that she came out against her. Meghan said she just wants attention.
Howard asked why she was in Playboy with her clothes on. Meghan said she did the 20 questions thing. She said she would never be nude in Playboy. She said she got a big reaction to that. She said she talked about her sex life for the first time in there. Meghan said that people think because she's a republican that you can't talk about that stuff. She said conservatives on the internet are very militant in many ways. She said that she just said she loves having sex. Meghan said that's all it was.
Howard asked Meghan if she thinks about what her life would be like if her dad had won the election. Meghan said she thinks it would be horrible. Howard said that she's been protected by the Secret Service. Meghan said they don't know what they're doing and they're very gossipy. She said that they let the President get into an elevator with a guy who had a gun. She said she's not speaking out of turn there. Howard said he thought they were the elite of the elite. Meghan said not in her experience. She said that they may put a hit out on her after this. She said that they make you wear a pin and she refused to wear it. She said that they would stop her from getting into places just to screw with her. She said that's how petty they were. Meghan said she never sees Chelsea Clinton wearing that pin.
Howard asked if she ever ducked out and tired to hide from the Secret Service. Meghan said that it's not the way you imagine in your head. She said she never did that though. She said she just hated them.
Howard asked if she has any friends in politics like Chelsea Clinton. Meghan said she does not. Howard asked Meghan if she keeps any pictures of herself in the cloud that could be stolen. Meghan said she's so paranoid about that. She said she feels bad for these girls. She said that Jennifer Lawrence was just sexting her boyfriend and that's so wrong that they were stolen like that.
Howard asked if she ever gets spoken to about the interviews she does. Meghan said she has gotten that. She said that her dad never did it but his people did. She said that they kind of did their own thing and it wasn't her dad. She said her dad is really cool. She said that she thinks he lives vicariously through her.
Howard asked Meghan if she has dirt on people that she's surprised has never come out. Meghan said yes. Howard said he even knows some stuff that has never come out. Howard asked Meghan about what has happened to her. Meghan said that there are just secrets about people that never comes out. She said that the John Edwards thing was rumored for a long time. She said that she heard a lot about that before it broke.
Howard asked if she's ever heard anything racist about Obama. Meghan said she has heard things at rallies. She said it's the ''Not that I'm racist but...'' kind of thing. She said that it is racist though.
Howard said Meghan has been vocal about Chris Christie. Meghan said they got into a fight. Howard said Christie was saying that she's not a politician herself so she has no right to say what she says. Howard asked why him? Meghan said that it wasn't a great takedown. She said that she just said he wasn't her number 1 pick for 2016. She said that Christie kept saying her name and kept saying he wasn't going to address it. Howard asked if she was pissed off when the President hugged him. Meghan said it wasn't that. She said there's just something about him that she doesn't like. Meghan said that he did something with her mom in Arizona and she didn't want to be there. She said she thinks that he might rumble and she doesn't want to be there for that.
Howard said he thinks that Christie is a genuine guy. He said he's not being a fake politician. Howard said sometimes that can be refreshing.
Howard asked if Meghan has ever heard her parents having sex. She said she hasn't and she would kill herself if she did. Howard asked if her siblings have walked in on them. Meghan said she thinks they'd all kill themselves if they did. Howard said he never did either. Howard said he can't imagine his parents having sex. Howard said she has seen her mom in the shower. Meghan said she did see her. She said she still looks great for 60. Howard said she does look good. Meghan said she's 60 and she has a great ass. She said people hated that story when it came out. She said she was almost 30 years old when she saw that. Meghan said she was just in the bathroom.
Howard said he saw his mom naked when he was a kid. He said she had a giant bush. Howard asked if Meghan's mom is shaved. Meghan said she can't say. Howard said he was freaked out by his mom being naked. He said she had big, pendulous breasts. Howard said she had that big bush too. Meghan asked if that scarred him. Howard told her to just look at him.
Howard said Meghan is in Take Part Live on Pivot. Howard asked about the show and who is on it with her. She told Howard about the guys she does the show with and how she's the only Republican host.
Howard asked Meghan what she thinks about this Ebola thing. Meghan said that she's terrified. Howard asked if she has spoken to her dad about it. She said she hasn't yet. Howard asked Meghan who she thinks will be the next candidate for the republicans. Meghan said that it might be Jeb Bush. Howard asked about Rand Paul. Meghan said she doesn't like him. She said that he seems a bit delusional. She said he's very Libertarian. She said that Rand and her dad really hate each other too. Meghan said that her dad walks the Grand Canyon every year just to prove he could do it.
Howard asked Meghan an F, Marry, Kill with Bush, Clinton and Obama. Meghan said that's horrible. Meghan said she would kill Bill Clinton. She said she doesn't want to kill anyone. She said she would marry George W. Bush and F Obama. Howard said that Obama just tweeted ''Yes!'' to that.
Howard gave Meghan some more plugs for her show and thanked her for coming in. Meghan said this went better than expected. She said she expected more sex questions. Howard was about to ask her some but he was just joking. Howard went to break a short time later. As they were going to break Fred played a prank call Sal and Richard made to an adult store asking for sexy games.
Howard came back and sang along with the song Fred was playing. Howard said that he won't subject anyone to more Buzzy Linhart. Howard said Robin doesn't like that. Howard said Russell Brand is there but he's using the bathroom right now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about the psychology of a woman who swallows a guy's load. He said he wanted to find out if JD would be willing to talk about if his girlfriend does that. JD said he isn't talking about what happens to his load. Howard asked if he's Meghan McCain. Howard asked JD if it matters to him. JD said no. Howard asked if the woman loves him more if she does that. JD said it doesn't matter to him. Howard said he's hungry for Fred's load. Fred said if he wants it, he's got it. Howard said they already know that JD's load goes into the t-shirt.
The caller asked why JD's girlfriend has to be a secret. JD said he doesn't want anything to screw up her job. He said people will start harassing her. Robin said some girl probably told him that she had problems with her job. JD told her to shut up.
Howard said Russell Brand is there. Howard had him come in. Howard said he looks good. Fred played a toilet flush as he came in. Russell said that there's something about coming in there that makes him need to go. He said that he had to evacuate. He said he feels lighter now. Howard said he was really busy in there then.
Howard said he can't go to the bathroom anywhere but home. He said he just feels comfortable there. Howard said it must be unsettling there. Russell said that it's not bad there. He said that he is in a sealed cubicle of his own. He said he was okay with that. Howard asked if it was stinky in there. Russell said it may have already been before he got in there. Howard asked if he gets angry at his body for needing to go when he gets there. Howard said he would yell at his own body. Russell asked Howard how people are able to get naked and defecate on someone. Howard said he doesn't know the answer to that.
Howard said he keeps tabs on Russell. He said he read that he decided he wanted some homeless friends of his to move into his house. Howard said he was on tour and he lives in an affluent neighborhood. Howard said that Russell moved homeless people into his house. Howard said he had assistants check up on them and rightly so. Howard said it seems like a magnanimous gesture. Howard asked if this is true. Russell said they were friends of his but they weren't homeless. He said one of the guys was his manager and it's an easy mistake to make. He said he did live with a homeless man once. He said he took a bath with him and he slept with him in a non-sexual way. He said that he was being extreme at the time. Howard said he likes to test the limits. Russell said he was on crack and heroin at the time. He said he wasn't in his right mind.
Howard said Russell was in trouble when he was younger. Howard said he can't even be let into some countries. Russell said he was sent home from Japan once. He said that he got all the way there and they said he couldn't come in. Howard said that must be upsetting. Russell said he was looking forward to seeing Tokyo and he wasn't able to get in. Howard said that Paul McCartney was thrown in jail over smoking pot in Japan.
Howard asked Russell if he was working over there. Russell said that he was with Katy Perry at the time and they stopped him from coming in. Howard said that must have turned her on in a way. Howard said he knows Russell is against fame and all of that. He said when you're with someone who is as high profile as Katy though it must be hard to come down from that after breaking up. Russell said he is an egomaniac and a narcissist. He said he's trying to move toward the sensitive part of himself. He said that people are rewarded for being a show off in this country. Howard said that he sees Katy and he thinks about how Russell used to be married to her. Russell said there was the chaos of one world and then they were just two people at home together. He said that a lot of people have a relationship that lasts for a bit of time. He said that Katy is a lovely person and he's very grateful for the time he had with her.
Robin asked if Russell thinks that he could get back with her. Russell said this isn't a romantic comedy where you just bounce back. Howard said that had to be intoxicating to be with her. Russell said that life is a drama. He said love is a particular feeling that you use to tell a story. He said when you are you then you can't live in an external version of you.
Howard asked Russell if women are leery of him now that he's not with Katy anymore. Howard said that he was either a cheater or he was the reason for the break up. Russell said his relationship has to be with his inner truth. He said he's into Transcendental Meditation and that's what they have to do. Howard asked Russell if he met a woman who says that he's a dick and he treated Katy like shit. Howard asked if that affects his life. Russell said that person lives in a world of rumor and gossip. He said he hasn't really experienced that. Russell said he just deletes that person and moves on.
Howard asked Russell about the woman he dated after the divorce. Howard said he waited about 2 weeks. Robin asked if it was even that long. Howard said it wasn't. He said he roared back into the world. Howard said he missed out on a lot. Howard asked Russell if he missed out. Howard said he knows how he dated after Katy. Howard said he looked up her picture. Howard said her name is Jemima Khan. Howard said that Russell said that he was in love with her and he was the happiest he could be. Howard asked what happened. Russell said that it's hard to be in a relationship. He said that he probably needs a lot of love himself. Russell asked what works. Howard said love works. Russell said he thinks love is connection and union. Howard asked if he needs a childish kind of love. Russell said he was hanging out with his god daughter who is 7 years old. He said that they had a line in the movie about what love is and he thought about how she's being brainwashed into thinking that someone is going to come in and swoop her off her feet. He said that you have to love everyone.
Howard said he's exhausted already. Russell was standing up so Robin told him to sit down. Russell said he will not sit down. Howard asked if the secret to happiness is not having a dick. Russell said that could help. He said he knows people who are celibate and they're happy people. Russell said that those people seem to be in themselves. Howard asked if that's what he wants. Russell said he wants to be truthful and live honorably.
Howard said he wants to talk about politics with Russell. He said he wanted to talk to him about hitting on Jennifer Lawrence at some event. Russell said he was at that event but he doesn't remember hitting on her. He said she did walk by him though. Russell said Howard told him to go back to stand up comedy and he did that. Howard said the Russell he knows would have hit on her. Russell said he's very good at being monogamous. Russell said he hasn't seen her naked pictures and he bets Howard has. Howard said he hasn't seen the nude pictures but some of the guys there have. Howard said he refuses to look. Russell said if she wants them to see her naked she would invite them over to see.
Howard said he doesn't agree with Russell on this. He said he came out and said that people should not vote. Howard said that if he was in China he would think that he would give his life to vote. Howard said it does give you some control over your government. Russell said he will say this. He said he said don't vote but he also said that people deserve real democracy. He said that if you want ordinary people's views then you need a party that represents that. He said these parties represent big business. He said that's not right. Howard said we need representatives though. Russell said that 80 percent of American people do not approve of Congress at the moment. He said he heard 50 percent don't vote. He said in his country it's even smaller. Howard said that they just vote in the same guys over and over. Russell said that what he feels is that we don't have the democracy we were promised. He said that he doesn't hate voting like an allergy but he wants a party that represents the American public. He said the Democrats and Republicans are misrepresenting themselves. He said he knows the system is wrong. Howard asked what system we need. Russell said that they need direct democracy. He said that we need to divide up the country and ask them to vote on if we should go to war. Russell said it would be something like that. Russell said that they'd need a media that informs people honestly about why we were invading Iraq. Howard said it could go horribly wrong. Russell said if they have a media that's fair and just then you have an informed country. He said that they have 5 companies controlling the media. Russell was going on and on about what he thinks needs to happen when Howard asked if they're going to talk about pussy at all.
Howard asked when he last got laid. Russell said it wasn't that long ago. Howard said who knows what he was doing in that bathroom. Howard said he is with Russell in a way on his politics.
Howard said that Russell was dating a woman named Sophie and she says that he is like the character in the book ''50 Shades of Grey.'' Howard said she said that he's one of these guys who ties a girl up. Russell said he doesn't do that. He said he's very sensitive. Howard asked if he is anything like that character. Russell said he's not. He told him to just look at him and see him all gangly moving around. Howard asked if he is into role play. Russell asked Howard if he is. Howard said he did tie a woman up once and she wasn't into it. He said she just said ''fuck me already'' and that's what they did. He said he never did it again. Russell said he did his best with Sophie but he doesn't remember it being a remarkable event.
Howard said he read that Russell won a libel lawsuit against a newspaper over a story about him cheating on Jemima with Sophie. Russell said that he can't talk about that. He said that he thinks he signed an agreement over that.
Howard said Russell has a book called ''Revolution'' and the proceeds are going to go to a house for the homeless. Russell said that they've done the pussy bit so now they can talk about this. Russell said that the heirs of the Walmart fortune have as much money as the poorest 150 million people in the country. Howard said there is great opportunity in this country to make it. Russell said that he wants to do something to change the way things work in this country.
Howard asked if he heard what Chelsea Handler bad mouthed him on the show. Russell said he doesn't care. He said that he's going to have homeless people run a cafe juice bar. He said he's putting money into this. Howard said he's taking money from the book and investing that in people. Russell said he is hiring people in recovery and people like that. Howard said that's capitalism. He said he's investing in something. Russell said it's not. He said he's putting money into a non profit. Russell said we can be in a powerful position to make change. Howard said he's going to have a heart attack. Howard asked if he thinks that we should all be able to fuck Katy Perry. Russell told him to hold on there. He said let's not go down any further.
Howard gave Russell some plugs for his book and for this Messiah Complex special he did. Howard asked if he's making any movies. Russell said he's back to doing stand up because Howard told him to do the things he believes in. He said that's what he's doing. Howard said he just got a note from Japan saying ''See, we told you he was nuts.''
Howard gave Russell some more plugs for the Messiah Complex which will be out November 28th on Epix. Howard said he has no idea what that is. Russell said that's a channel. Howard said the last person who was in there was promoting Pivot and Epix laughs at Pivot. Howard said that they're going to air the special on Epix. Robin asked where he taped it. Russell said it was in Europe but he did the tour there in the U.S. as well.
Howard played a clip of Chelsea Handler talking about Russell and how she finds him to be a narcissist and she wasn't happy with him being late to her show. Howard asked why he showed up late. Howard said that is rude. Russell said that he shouldn't have been late. He said he knows it's bad. He said that he is usually punctual. He said he gets distracted.
Howard asked Russell if he's planning on buying a house in India. Russell said he's not. Robin asked if that's true. Russell did a great impression of Robin asking him about something that's not even true. He asked when she became the horrible one on the show.
Howard asked Russell to look at him eye to eye and man to man. Howard told him not to redistribute his wealth. Howard said life is great and he should hold on to it for a little while. Howard said he will end up looking for houses to live in like his manager. Russell said he has to put his money where his mouth is. Howard said he may change his mind some day and need that money.
Russell asked what makes Howard happy. Howard said family and friends. He said that he likes nice things but he respects money. Russell said that Howard goes on loads of shows and he doesn't talk about the shit he talks about on this show. He said that it's fine to keep some money for himself but everyone has a right to live like that and not just a privileged few. Howard asked how much money he's going to give away. He asked if he'll give away his nest egg. Russell said that he doesn't have a nest egg. Russell said that this money he's talking about has to come away from the corporations that are laughing at them. Howard said he agrees with him on that. Howard said that we do need government because some of it is something we all rely on to build roads and things like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about ass to mouth. Howard said this is a very important issue. He said it always goes back to that kind of thing. Russell said that is something that takes up a lot of his time. He said that is a decent thing between two loving people.
Howard asked Russell if he is a decent man. Russell said he thinks he is. He said he thinks that he is happy and he feels better when he is loving to other people. Howard asked if he's still doing the yoga thing. Russell said he is. Howard said he's in good shape. Howard said he's still wearing those skinny jeans.
Howard said he wants to see Russell use all of his gifts. Howard said he has some very noble ideas. He said he likes all of that stuff. Robin asked if he can change the world from a comedy stage. Howard said stranger things have happened.
Howard asked Russell who he wants to date in the celebrity world. Russell said there is a woman on daytime TV who is black and she does daytime TV. He said he thinks her name is Whitney Whiting or something. Robin said that's Wendy Williams. Russell said that's her. Howard said she's married. Howard said he didn't think she was his type. Russell said she loves it. Howard said that's wild. Howard said he could get her there in 10 minutes. Russell said he has 10 minutes.
Howard said Russell has been out promoting and he did a show with someone there named Ron something. Howard said he's Ron from Ron and Fez. Howard asked how The View went. Russell said that was great. Howard said Rosie O'Donnell loves Russell. He said she thinks he's brilliant. Russell said he likes her a lot.
Howard asked where else Russell is going to be. Russell said he will try to get on Wendy Williams' show. Howard gave him some plugs for his book and his stand up special that will be on Epix in November. Howard said he knows Wendy Williams will be watching him on Epix. Howard said that he thinks they're run by the homeless.
Howard said he does admire him for setting up juice bars for the homeless.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Katy Perry impression. Howard told Russell who the guy was and how he calls from his parent's basement. Russell said he doesn't think that it's going to get much better. Howard said it does if he hangs in there for a while.
Howard gave Russell some more plugs and said he's always great on the show. Howard said he's on fire and he loves passionate people. Russell said a few more words about this book he has out and said he thinks he has some good ideas in it. Howard asked if people can steal it if they can't afford it. Russell said that's fine. Howard asked Russell about spending time in jail. Russell said he has only been in cells. He said he got into a spat with someone in New Orleans and ended up in jail for a short time. He said that he was almost the only white guy there. He said the prisons there are worse than other countries. Russell said that the cops and the prisoners weren't that happy. He said he tried to cheer them up but he's only one man. Russell said that he also has a news program on YouTube called Trews which is True News.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he agrees with Russell on some stuff he was saying. He was going on and on about how things need to change. They spent a minute on that and then Howard wrapped up and went to break. As they were going to break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show.
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Howard took a call from Marianne Garvey from the NY Daily News. Marianne said that she wrote about Russell today and she was over at Sirius yesterday when he did the show there. She said that he did the show for like an hour and 20 minutes and she was into what he was saying but then after that whole thing she felt like it was an act. She said she had a question for him and he just looked at her like he was so disgusted with her. Howard said he finds him to be delightful and a great guest. Robin said they do treat him differently on his own show. Howard said he doesn't doubt his sincerity. Howard said he must have to shut down at some point. Marianne said she knows all of that but she just wanted to ask him one question and he lost it. She said that he was just sort of running away with security after saying that the elite use security to separate themselves. She said that she was harmless and she was trying to promote his book.
Marianne asked if Howard is jerking off more than usual lately. Howard said he jerks off when his wife isn't around. He said his sex life is still good. Howard said it may seem like he masturbates a lot but he just brings it there to talk about it with Robin. He said he's very vocal about it when he does it. He said his sex life is fine though.
Howard let Marianne go and said that the worst part of his routine is waking up at 1 in the morning and trying to fall asleep. He said he finally falls asleep and then his alarm goes off.
Howard took a call from Shandor who asked Howard if he thinks he might be able to take over a Jimmy Fallon type show if he leaves Sirius. Howard said he doesn't know what he'll do with his future. He said he'll discuss it with Robin, Fred and Gary. Howard said he's not sure he'd want to do that. He said it would be kind of stifling. Howard said he has been offered something interesting on TV but he's not sure if he'd do that. Howard said he has the opportunity to do a bunch of things. He said Epix is ready to give him a show. Howard said he had this great offer to do something incredibly interesting. Howard said he doesn't think for his final act he'd have time to do that. Howard said he doesn't think that he'd do a traditional show like one of those late night shows. Howard said he knows Jimmy Kimmel is satisfied doing that but he's not sure that's right for him.
Shandor said he can't figure out what to do with himself after leaving the company he worked for about 30 years. Howard said he doesn't know what he'd do. Robin said Jay Leno is going to do a car show on CNBC. Shandor said he saw Jay driving one of his steam cars out there. Howard said he must want to be seen doing that stuff. Howard said he wonders who cares about Jay Leno's show. Howard played a commercial parody about Jay's new car show on CNBC.
Shandor said when Howard does retire he thinks there will be a lot of very upset people. He said that there might be a mad panic if he leaves. Howard said he thinks that people will start hanging themselves. Howard said he doesn't really think that will happen. Howard said that he is against suicide but he thinks it would be great if there was a mass suicide when he retires. He said that would be an honor that so many people cared so much. Howard said people don't really care that much. Howard said Bobo would suffocate himself with that wig of his. Howard let Shandor go and moved on to Robin's news.
Howard said that they say people are taking advantage of the Ebola thing and the biggest costume on Halloween is going to be a hazmat suit. Howard came up with a new game called Ebolaing where people with Ebola bowl. He played with that for a minute.
Robin read a story about NBC News having a medical expert being quarantined and breaking the quarantine to go to a restaurant to pick up food. Robin said this is a doctor who can't figure out to just stay home while she's on a voluntary quarantine. Robin said then we wonder why we have an epidemic.
Robin read about how a German company has an Ebola treatment that's been tested. Robin said they're in clinical trials now. Howard said he read that some woman here was given blood from a guy who beat Ebola and that helped her. Howard said we need that guy. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that test.
Howard had asked Robin if she ever heard the song Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Robin had no idea what it was. Howard sang some of it to her and said he has to get the lyrics for Monday. Gary got them for him and there were 4 pages of lyrics. Howard said he's going to save that for Monday.
Robin read more about the Ebola outbreak and what's going on with that. Robin had more audio of people talking about that. Robin said they say that this could become an airborne virus eventually.
At one point they were talking about a guy with Ebola and he had massive amounts of diarrhea. Robin said that diarrhea is good for you at some points. Howard had also told her that he made up a song about diarrhea. Gary came in and told him that he didn't make that up, it's a well known song.
Gary said that some people are saying that we have the cure for Ebola but we let that one guy die because if people found out we have the cure everyone would come here. Howard asked who said that. Gary wasn't going to say but he eventually said it was Will. Will said that he didn't say we have the cure but we don't want people to come here even if we can treat people. Howard said that cleared it up. He went right into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Oscar Pistorius and what's going on with his sentencing. Robin said this is day 3 of that. Robin said they are saying that he won't be safe in prison. Howard said good. Robin had some audio of someone at the sentencing talking about the case. Robin said if someone took his legs away that he'd be exposed. Howard said he thinks he'll be okay. He said that he figured out how to shoot someone so he'll be fine in prison.
Howard took a call from a woman, Tara, who said she wanted to thank Howard for taking care of the cats. Howard said his wife is a saint. He said what she's doing is really something to see. Howard said he likes it too. He said that some people say he's just putting up with it but he encourages it. Howard said Beth told him about the one eyed cat and he told her to bring him home. Howard said he feels bad for the cat being stuck in a cage. The caller said that she rescued some cats and one has diabetes and one has cancer. She said it's the worst feeling in the world to see them suffer. Howard said that sounds like his staff with the diabetes and cancer.
Howard said Beth has a children's book coming in next month. Howard said he heard Robin is going to be doing the audio book for that. Robin said she is and it's a beautiful book. Howard said all the proceeds go to Bianca's Furry Friends where the animals will be allowed to run free.
Robin read a story about another incident of gay bashing in Brooklyn. Robin read about that and said that one man was using a hammer on this transsexual.
Robin said she read that OJ Simpson only has 4 more weeks to live. She said maybe that's why he let that transsexual allegedly blow him in prison. Howard said maybe that's it. Howard said he's so glad OJ is in prison for something even if it's not for killing his wife.
Robin read a story about Ke$ha and how she's trying to get out of her contract with her manager Dr. Luke. Robin said she has claimed that he has done some things to her.
Robin had some audio of Angelina Jolie talking about breast cancer. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about ISIS and how the President is having meetings about what to do. Robin said no one wants to send in ground troops. Howard said if we had just left Saddam Hussein in place we'd have less of these headaches. Howard said he was just as bad as ISIS but he kept things under control in that region. Howard said maybe we should just let them do their thing and be marauders. Howard said they can just duke it out over there. Robin said they're just taking land and overtaking these two countries. Howard asked when we're going to be able to leave if we do go over there. Robin said never but ISIS isn't a passive organization. they want world domination. Robin said they would expert terrorism to the United States. Howard said they're not the only ones though. Howard said he's not sure where the end of this thing is. Robin said they need to be wiped out. Robin said it's like we have to be the Romans and turn everyone into the Romans wherever we go. Howard asked what happened to the Romans. Robin said they got fat and died.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he loves everyone on the show but if he retires he shouldn't talk to the rest of them. Howard said maybe they want to retire too. Robin said she tells Howard every day that he has to do what's right for him. King said Robin is different than Gary. Gary said he's with Robin. He said Howard has to do what's right for him. He said if Howard's not happy then what's the point. Howard said he's not at that point yet anyway. King said he's retiring after working 28 years. He said he has a nice pension. Howard said people are jumping out windows hearing that. King said his wife thinks he shouldn't retire. He said that she can't retire so she's being selfish. King said she tells him he can't retire. King was sniffling so Howard asked if he has Ebola. King said he has the flu. He said he got that from the African bitches on his shift.
Howard said if King retires he's going to have time to think of more things. Howard said he's going to have time to sniff feet and things like that. King said there's people who are jerking off in shoes. He said they see the foot prints in the shoes and that's so hot. King said that arouses the shit out of him. Howard said he's one fucked up dude. King said that you can see the veins in his cock. Howard said he hopes he gets athlete's cock because he's so disgusting. King said he has to get a BMW M4 when he retires. He said Howard has to see this car. Howard said he had to go and finish up the news. King asked for an update on Ronnie's TV show. Howard said he doesn't think there is one. He said he doesn't think anyone picked that show up. Howard said Howie Mandel was thinking of making a show with Ronnie where he fixes up strip clubs. Howard said he thought Howie was pranking him. Howard said Howie is coming in on Wednesday next week so they can talk about that then. King said you know Ronnie will take it out on Howard if it doesn't get picked up. Howard hung up on King when he talked over him as he was doing his Ronnie impression. Howard said the whole time he's talking he just hears King talking. Fred did his impression of King talking over him. Howard and Fred did their Ronnie impressions after that.
Robin asked Howard if he has ever seen a pregnant stripper. Howard said no. He said that has to be a real low rent place to do that. Fred and Howard kept going with their Ronnie impressions. They were telling strip clubs what they need to be successful. They were making up all kinds of crazy stuff and keeping it simple at the same time. They'd tell the club that what they need is more customers and things like that. Howard said Howie called him to tell him he wanted his blessing on that. Howard said that must be some production company he has. Howard said he told Ronnie he was happy for him about the show. Howard said Howie was in a straight jacket when he called him about that. Howard said he remembers that Ronnie was going to fly out to California to do the pitch meeting but then he canceled it. Howie was going to do it on his own. He knew it wasn't going to fly when that happened. Howard said Ronnie was wondering if something was wrong when he canceled the flight out there. Howard said he told him that Howie was going to do the initial pitch and then have Ronnie come in as the closer. He said Ronnie liked that idea.
Howard and Fred continued to do their impressions of Ronnie for a few more minutes. They were coming up with crazy lines that Ronnie might say at the strip clubs. Howard said he can't wait for Howie to come in to talk about that. Howard said he will ask if he was on Ayahuasca when he came up with that idea. Howard said Howie is in a meeting now with Epix. Robin said it'll be on MSNBC on the weekends.
Howard asked Ronnie what's going on with the show. Ronnie came in and asked what the fuck is going on in here. Howard asked what's going on with Howie. Ronnie said he doesn't know. Howard said he'll ask Howie on Wednesday. Ronnie said Howie told him that he was having problems with sponsorship or something. Howard said he thinks he's having mental problems. Ronnie said he said they're still trying to work it out. Fred and Howard did more of their Ronnie impressions. Ronnie said Fred is red in the face over there. Howard said he'll corner Howie over that next week. Ronnie said he will be at Rick's Cabaret tomorrow night. He said everyone can come hang out. Howard and Fred kept doing their impressions and they sounded like a mix of Ronnie and Andrew Dice Clay.
Ronnie said they went to a club in Toronto and the girls brought out towels to put on the guy's laps. He said he's not sure what they were supposed to be used for but maybe because they were wet or the guys were cumming in them.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves when they bust Ronnie's balls like that on the show. Ronnie said he knows. Howard said that he thought Howie was goofing on him when he pitched the show. Howard said he's still not sure. Ronnie said he thought the whole thing was a scam. He said there are shows that do that kind of thing and he thought it would be cool to do it. Howard and Fred did more pitches to the strip clubs as Ronnie. Howard asked Ronnie what advice he would give. Ronnie said ''No glitter.'' Howard and Fred took that and went crazy with more ideas.
Ronnie said Howie had a whole crew set up for this deal. He said they were going to go in and redo the bars and things like that. Howard threw out some more ideas and mentioned that girls have to wipe correctly. Ronnie said he's actually come across that. He said that there have been times when he caught a whiff of something. Howard and Fred kept going with their impressions of Ronnie and kept coming up with more and more stuff. Howard said that's some TV show. Robin said she can't wait for it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the mega millions having no winner so the jackpot is up to $180 million. Robin said that the cash prize will be $110 million.
Robin read about Amanda Bynes and how she could be detained for up to a year according to TMZ.com. Robin said that they could hold her on an LPL hold for the next 12 months. Robin said Amanda is furious with her family for luring her back into town so they could put her away.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been having dreams about Eric the Actor and he is speaking to him from the other side. He said he's doing great and they got him a new wheelchair. Howard cut him off and said that he's going to tell him something he won't believe. Howard said this has been a hoax and Eric is alive. Howard said they got a message yesterday. He played a clip of Eric saying that he's not dead and they have to stop reporting that he's dead. He said it's ridiculous. Robin said she doesn't believe it. Howard said it's actually one of Eric's old calls. Benjy said ''Ohh'' like he believed it. Howard said it's an old call. He said he was just jerking their chain. Howard asked Benjy if he's going to cry. Benjy said he didn't get much sleep so he is kind of sad. Howard said Eric is unfortunately gone.
Robin read a story about Neil Young's comments about David Crosby from yesterday's show. Robin read what they were reporting on.
Howard said Neil Young follows one person on Twitter and that person is David Crosby. Howard said someone researched that and that's what they found out. Robin said that can't be true. Howard said they researched it and it is true. Gary confirmed it.
Robin read that Macy's is looking to open at 6pm on Thanksgiving. Robin said this is 2 hours earlier than last year. Robin said that they are the first retailer to reveal hours for Black Friday.
Howard asked Benjy if he and Elisa have still not had intercourse. Benjy said he's not sure it's good to talk about this. He said in her mind they are broken up. He said in his mind they're not. Howard asked how they see each other every day but they're broken up. Benjy said it's hard to face breaking up. Howard said it seems like shtick. Howard said they still have some intimacy. Benjy said not for a couple of weeks. Howard said his problem is that she's the hottest chick he's ever had. Benjy said it's not that. Howard said he doesn't mean any disrespect but he thinks he loves the attention and he realized somewhere along the line that she's not the one he wants to be with the rest of his life. Benjy said he is madly in love and there's facing death and facing all of that shit. Howard said this can't be real. Howard said Benjy must have told her he wanted to date other people. Benjy said he didn't do that but she wants him to date other people. Howard said that means it's really over then. Howard told Fred to give him a hand job.
Robin read about Taylor Swift having a big hit on her hands with her new song. She had Howard play some of that. Robin said she is huge with this new album she has. Howard said she's like the only one selling records along with Katy Perry and people like that.
Benjy said that this is part of a man's brain. Howard said this doesn't make sense. He said being with Beth is the most important thing to him. Benjy said that facing the reality of the whole thing is tough. Elisa said she has no idea what he's talking about. Benjy said he told her that he can have meaningless sex with someone but he didn't do that. Elisa said that he talks about this stuff all day long. She said that he is in therapy so that's good. Robin asked if she is in love with Benjy. She said she loves him but she's not in love with her. She said that he's not in love with her either. Benjy said he is.
Howard said that she's broken up so why not go have sex and get on with his life. Benjy said maybe that's a problem with him. Howard said he thinks that Elisa is the hottest chick he's ever had and he can't buy into her as marriage material. Benjy said he does. Howard told him to go ahead and propose. Howard said he just can't let go of her because she's so hot. Benjy said it's not the hotness. Elisa said that Benjy wants to go out and have sex with other people. She said she can't have sex with him while he's talking about this kind of thing. Howard asked if blow jobs and hand jobs are off the table. Elisa said pretty much. She said this is not good at all.
Howard said Elisa hasn't given him anything in weeks. Howard asked if she has. She said in one year they had sex once. She said last night they had Skype sex. Howard asked why she would do that. Elisa said he's so nice. She said that's why.
Robin asked Elisa if she's dating. She said not really. She said she doesn't know really. Howard asked if she has dated at all. She said she has not. Howard asked if Benjy beat off in front of her. She said he did and she kind of liked that. She said the sex was never good because he was never nude. She said that he was always clothed. Benjy said it's better that way. She said she can't get intimate with someone who is so ashamed of their body.
Howard asked if he has ever been totally naked. Benjy said he has. He said he isn't proud of his body though. Elisa said she thinks his body is cute but he can't do things in bed that she wants to do. Howard asked what she wants to do. Elisa said he could only have sex in one way to get in there. She said that it was with her legs all the way back and against a wall. She said it hurt and it was very uncomfortable. She said if he took care of himself more they could have more fun. She said that some people just don't fit together. Howard said hot chicks aren't supposed to have sex with fat slobs. He said she's supposed to be with other hot people. Elisa said that Benjy was beautiful when he was younger. She said that he's been eating a lot because of this whole thing. Howard asked what he's eating. She said ''everything.'' Howard asked why she's going to his apartment every day. She said she hasn't. She said she has her own apartment. She said they do talk throughout the day but she has not been visiting.
Elisa said the last time she visited she made him a special meal. She said she had a menu and everything. She said she was so excited to do this for him. She said that while they were getting groceries for the meal they were walking down the street and Benjy was staring at this woman and the woman looked at her like ''what the hell?'' She said that Benjy objectifies women on the street and she doesn't like that. Benjy said he used to do that. Elisa said Benjy told her that she was wearing a weird outfit. That outfit was a short dress with her underwear showing.
Howard said he thinks this thing is over. Howard asked Elisa what her family thinks. Elisa said her mom saw them fighting a lot but her dad didn't. She said that if someone is in love with you they don't want to change you. Howard said that's why he thinks Benjy has a problem. Benjy said he loves her. Howard asked why he would yell at her. Howard said he yells at Benjy because he's a mess. Benjy said Elisa is beautiful. Howard asked why he's asking her to change. Benjy said she has a jealousy thing that he wants to work through.
Gary said there is a lot of discussion about Benjy's weight and the weight he's put back on. He showed Howard a shot of Benjy when he started dating Elisa. Howard said he looked good but he's gross now. Benjy said even back then he was fat. Howard said he's more confused than ever. Howard asked if Elisa is ready to date. Elisa said that they should both date other people. Howard asked if she wanted to come on a dating game. Benjy asked if he can be a contestant. Howard said he would never do that to Benjy. Benjy said he would too. Howard said he's right.
Howard said Elisa is going to be who she is and she's not going to change for him. Elisa said Benjy isn't going to change either.
Benjy said that he'd like to get Elisa pregnant and have joint custody with the kid. Howard said that's not right. Howard asked why he would want that. Benjy said it's to have both the family, love and freedom. He said it's not even sexual freedom. He said it's more than that. Elisa said she thinks that he's a sex addict and he has to get over that. She said that Benjy tells the therapist about her the whole time he's in therapy. Howard said that's not right. Howard said the therapist should tell him that. Benjy said he's aware of that stuff.
Howard said he can't believe he's not banging her. Howard said he would do whatever he has to do to bang her. Howard said he'd trick her into banging him. Howard said he would do whatever it takes. Elisa said he's a great guy. Howard said he sounds like a party. Robin said staring at women on the street is wrong. Benjy said he really doesn't do that. Howard said he really has to go. He said he has to pee. Benjy said he's going to stare at Robin.
Howard asked Elisa what she's wearing. She said she had a t-shirt and no panties. Benjy said he saw that she had the Home t-shirt on last night. Elisa said she likes to relax at home. Howard thanked her for calling in and said he feels bad for her. Howard let her go and told Benjy he needs to go into intensive therapy. He said he has to go every day. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:45am.
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Jon went over some of the other things that happened on the show and said they have a ton of stuff to talk about. Gary showed up and Jon brought up how they didn't find much out. Gary said he thought they were very honest today. Gary said this reminds him of the girl he tried to get back with the ''Hello, hello'' tape. He said Howard talking to someone on the air is the best shot at getting the truth. Gary said there's a part of him that wanted it done but Howard has a way of getting people to talk and not lie. Jon said it seems to him that Elisa wants to move on but she's still kind of with him in a way. Gary said Sam Kinison used to do a great joke about how the woman wants to be friends and that's like being an emotional tampon.
Jon said it's best to just move on. He said that's the best for both of them. Gary said this is going to linger and one person is going to be fine and the other will be wrecked. He said he has a feeling he may be dealing with a wrecked Benjy. Gary said that he's been in a similar situation and he knows what Benjy is thinking.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she dated someone like Benjy and she thinks that he's very insecure and he's a master manipulator. She said if he was a sex addict he'd be having sex with her on a daily basis. Gary asked the caller why he's holding on to her and what if he's a reformed sex addict. The caller said that she's been listening for a long time and she thinks Elisa sounded really ditzy. She said that she's so sweet the more she hears her. She said Elisa seems sweet but Benjy likes attention and he's into her because of the way she looks on his arm. At the same time he knows that he's not good enough. He said that's why he's stringing her along.
Jon said that he thinks Benjy isn't acting any differently than he did beforehand. He said Elisa knew what Benjy was going to be like. He said he's not sure he can give Benjy that much credit for being a master manipulator. The caller said that she was in that kind of relationship and she didn't see it. She said that he would try to make her feel like there were other girls and that's part of it. Jon asked what made her change her mind. She said she finally woke up after a friend told her how it was. She said she understands why Elisa is like that.
Gary said that Elisa is very aware that she's hot. He said he doesn't think that's what this situation is. Gary said Benjy has made a lot of changes in his life in the past couple of years. He said that he's different and when you change there are bumpy spots on the road. He said Benjy can get angry and this or that. He said Benjy just can't commit. That's it. Jon said he can't commit and he wants to keep his options open. He said he's always said that he would like to have kids and all of that but he doesn't think that he's ready to commit.
Gary said that he will never be with anyone because there are concessions and changes and compromises you have to make. He said that you do have to do those things if you're in a relationship.
Gary said that his favorite part of that conversation was when Elisa described how Benjy was fucking her. Jon said he's not sure where this relationship is going to go. He said they may never get to the bottom of it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Elisa is hanging on and this will never pan out for them. He said that Benjy is sticking around like a puppy dog and she can't respect that. Gary asked why she's sticking around. He said it goes both ways. Gary said it's like neither one of them have found anything better yet. Gary said Howard did tell Benjy he should leave but Benjy said he just can't.
Jon said the sex thing is a big deal. Gary said that's not a couple if you're not having sex. Jon said they're friends. Jon said sex cements you as a couple. He said it's good.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Benjy is just a punk ass bitch. He said he'd love it if Elisa became a huge pop star so she'd move to L.A. and get banged by tons of dudes out there. He said that then they can make her come back and ride the Sybian and make Benjy control it while he's balling his eyes out. Gary asked if the caller is on Team Elisa. The caller said he is. He said that she has to leave him to get them out of this. He said Benjy is going to be really devastated if he doesn't get out of it now. Jon said he agrees that if they get back together and then she decides to leave him. He said then he'd be really devastated. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said that makes sense because you don't always pitch a show with the star there. Gary said Ronnie is what they're selling though. Ronnie said he got a call about how they were going to pitch some other people and he never heard anything after that. Ronnie said it looked very promising to him but he's still there and he's happy.
Jon said Howard was fine with Howie having Ronnie to do this show. Ronnie said Howie went to Howard before he even approached him. Jon asked if he had a signing bonus or anything. Ronnie said he didn't. Gary asked if he thinks that he's just moving on and this is done. Ronnie said probably.
Gary asked if he thought it was a prank at first. Ronnie said when they pitched this to him it was Howie, a production company guy and this guy Rich who travels with Howie. He said he thought it was a joke when they first pitched it to him. He said then they told him it wasn't a prank and they were really going to do this thing. Jon said they'll find out more next week when Howie comes in. Ronnie said he thinks that it's done but they'll find out next week.
Jon asked if there's anyone there who would be envious of what he would be doing. Gary said he thinks that Scott might be a little bit. He said he might want to host a bowling show of some sort. Gary said he doesn't think anyone would want to be doing what Ronnie is doing. Gary said Ronnie is all about having fun. Ronnie said Scott isn't. He said he likes to hang out but Scott doesn't really. He said he just went to Mexico for 5 days and had a blast.
Jon said that Ronnie has an event coming up at Rick's. Ronnie said they're celebrating 9 years in business. He said they have another club just 4 blocks away called Vivid Cabaret.
Gary said he found it interesting what Russell had to say about the people who talk about him. He said that he has a good attitude toward that stuff but it's hard to have that in the jobs they have. Jon asked if it's possible to be a sensitive narcissist. Gary said that Russell and Benjy seem to be able to pull that off.
Jon played a clip of Russell talking about having trouble with relationships. Jon said that relationships are tough. Gary said they are work and it requires both of them to work. He said if one isn't working then it won't happen. Jon said that eventually the partner will see everything, warts and all, and they may not be together for very long. Gary said with Russell they can talk about so many things and move from one to another quickly. They went to break a short time later.
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Gary said she would have been really good on The View. Jon said that she also thinks that Palin isn't the reason that her dad lost. Gary said he thinks that had a lot to do with it. Gary said that he had to think that if that was his first big decision then he might not be the best person for the job.
Jon played a clip of Meghan talking about losing her virginity. Gary said it's so different for guys. Gary said he's listening to the Lena Dunham book and she talks about that too. He said that she said it wasn't what she expected it to be. Gary said losing his virginity was one of the best things ever. Jon asked if it was like fireworks. Gary said it was but with a very short fuse.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Russell is one of the best in studio guests they've ever had. He said he thinks he doesn't get the props for that. Jon said they were just talking about how good he is. He said he says he went back to stand up because Howard told him to do it.
Jon said he thought Russell was great and so was Meghan. Jon said that Robin was also talking about George Clooney's wife taking his last name. He asked Gary if that was important to him. Gary said it was. He said they did a joke on SNL this weekend about the guy's wife not taking his last name in one of the sketches. Gary said he knows it's old school but he likes that. Gary said that some people's names are something they want to get rid of but Mary's was an even trade with his.
Jon asked Lisa G what she thinks. Lisa said it's a personal decision. She said that she gets what Howard was saying today. She said that she doesn't think that anyone should get on Amal Clooney's case for doing what she did. Jon said that some people hyphenate it. Gary said that can be confusing to the kids.
Jon asked Lisa G what she had in the news. Lisa ran down some headlines for today's Howard 100 News. Jon mentioned today's Leiberman Live and what they had coming up on Sternthology today. They wrapped up the show and ended it around 11:30am.
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Jon said they also had the Ebola discussion replayed today. He said Gary is paranoid about that. Gary said he really is. He said there are a lot of stories in the paper about it. Jon said he knows it's a problem but this is also one of those things that the news leads with. He said they want people to be scared. Gary said when they talk about a hurricane they talk about how it might be coming. This Ebola thing is here and happening. Gary said what he's dying to know the truth about is this woman who claims she called the CDC and asked if she could fly and she was told she could. Jon said they'll have to see how this continues to expand.
Jon said Richard Christy is in and he's wearing his Kansas City Royals shirt. He said they're going to the World Series. Jon said he's never seen Richard more fired up over anything. He said that he's really fired up over this. Jon asked if he's been a fan all this time. Richard said in 1984 he waited in line for an hour and a half to get his picture taken with a couple of the team members. He said that's how big a fan he is.
Richard said he's going to be watching the Halloween parade and the Royals in the World Series on the same day. He said he has a friend who lives down by where the parade will be happening so he'll be there watching both.
Gary said that Eric Stonestreet is a big Royals fan too. He said he's always talking about them on Twitter. Jon said they're in the World Series and he could not be happier for Richard. Richard thanked him for that. Richard said he was blasted out of his mind after the game yesterday. He said he feels okay today. Richard said he went to a barbecue place and all of the Kansas City fans in New York go there to watch the games. He said he had some beer that was 19 percent alcohol and he's surprised he even remembers the Royals winning.
Richard said he is tempted to fly back home and watch games with his dad. He said it's great to have that bar in the city where other fans gather. Jon asked Richard if he has any superstitions with the games. Richard said he has worn the shirt he has on during every game and he hasn't washed it. He said he won't wash that shirt at all.
Richard said he's been wearing the same underwear to Royals games too. He said that he has washed those though. Jon asked which ones they are. Richard said they're just regular underwear. He said they're blue. Jon said he's the same way. He said he's scared of jinxing the team. He said JD will try to jinx it. Gary said this reminds him of the movie Silver Linings Playbook. He said people think they're controlling the game. Jon said he grew up in a house like that. He said his dad would move the TV in a certain way. He said one year his friend Peter was over and everything went right. He said he was invited to the house for every game for the next 3 years.
Gary said Lorde wrote the song Royals about seeing George Brett signing autographs and it's loosely based on that. Richard said he heard about that. Gary asked if George Brett is a part owner in the team or something. Jon said he's not sure but they do show him during the games a lot.
JD came in and said that Jon is the one who tries to jinx him. He said that he'll try to be nice and say nice things to him about his team. He said he won't even do that anymore. JD said he can't beat Jon's reverse jinxes.
Gary said he read that George Brett is part of the Royals. He was looking up some information about him and found a couple of interesting things that he told the guys about. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
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Jon said he wanted to talk about Neil Young. He said that they really needed 4 hours to cover everything that they wanted to. Gary said that Neil was in and out of bands so he has a big history. He said every year he was changing bands. He said that he never stopped working.
Jon said he respects Neil as a musician for trying different things. He said some musicians are looked down upon for doing that. Richard said everything he was in was awesome though.
Gary said he was a Neil Young fan in high school but he had a girlfriend in college who was a huge fan. He said he really got into him during that time.
Jon said Neil Young said that he did everything he could with Crosby, Stills and Nash but that reunion will never happen. Gary said they all seem to be decent guys and he just finished reading a book called Fire and Rain. He said that they all just couldn't get along.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Richard gets jealous when he talks about sports. Richard said Sal is really excited that he's excited. Richard said Sal likes to see him happy and he likes to see Sal happy. Richard said Sal is into cooking and he can't cook himself but he's happy for Sal over that. Jon said that's a genuine thing. He said he has never seen any jealousy between the two of them. He said that's really rare. He said most people are jealous and envious.
Gary asked if Richard would ever buy Sal a matching shirt. Richard said they don't watch together so he wouldn't do that. He said he and his wife wear shirts. He said if Sal watched games with him he would buy him a shirt. Richard said Sal is a dad and he's got so much going on that he doesn't bother asking him to watch games. Jon said Sal isn't exactly the athletic type either.
Gary said he had a great conversation with his wife. He said that she's been with him for so long and she's picked up nothing about sports in all these years. Gary said that he turned on the Jets game and she didn't even want to listen to that. Richard said he and his wife love watching Eagles games together. Jon said his wife is a great sport about it. He said that he shut the game off at one point and told his wife that he knew they were going to lose. He said they got into an argument over that because she thought he should listen either way.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it seems to him the show is taking a more interview-centric path. He said he appreciates that but he wonders if they'll see more of that on a daily basis. Gary said that's a good question. Gary said they have been heavy with guests lately but it's very cyclical. He said that they have the fall TV season and guests promoting things for the holiday season. He said he can't say no to Jim Carrey or Bill Murray. He said the show isn't becoming a guest heavy show. He said in January they may not have any guests. He said they might end up talking about JD for hours.
The caller asked Gary if he booked the big guest that he said he was going to get. Gary said he never said that it was a he and it hasn't happened yet. The caller also asked when Artie is going to get a shot back on the show or on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said Artie hasn't asked but he'll look into it. They went to break after that.
Jon said he felt that Ike was much more comfortable with Howard this time. Gary said he thinks he was. He said that he told him a story about running into Jackie on the set of the Amy Schumer movie. He said he thought it was an old lady but it turned out to be Jackie.
Jon said that Benjy didn't make it there today but he is going to talk about him. He said that they heard the story about Benjy and Elisa and it sounds like they're broken up. Jon said he doesn't even know how to explain it all. Gary said he doesn't either. He said he didn't learn a lot but he felt like he got a genuine Benjy on the show yesterday. He said he's in the middle of a break up and he doesn't know how to handle it. He said Benjy wants it both ways. He said he wants to date other people until Elisa dates someone and then he'll freak out.
Jon played a clip of Elisa talking about how she loves Benjy but she's not in love with her. Jon said that's tough when the guy is still in love but the girl says she's not in love. Gary said Benjy could have said on the air that he's so in love with her that he wants to be with her. He said saying you're in love doesn't mean you want to be with her.
Jon said Elisa was talking about Benjy staring at girls. Gary said he can be kind of leery. He said he's not sure if he was learning or if he was looking at a girl and Elisa was jealous. Jon said Benjy has a very special kind of stare. Gary said he's kind of like that Bracco the Gazer. JD said that he can be thinking a million things and none of them are positive.
Jon said one of the things they talked about was having Skype sex and one time they had sex in a year. Gary said that's not a healthy relationship. He said that it sounds like a movie where the guy thinks he's in a relationship after being with a woman for one night.
Jon played a clip of Elisa talking about the position that Benjy would put her in to have sex. She said it was with her legs all the way back against a wall. Jon asked how that's the only way they can have sex. Richard said you'd think that would be a good incentive to lose weight. Gary said Benjy could get on his back unless he has a tiny dick. Jon said it sounds more like selfishness. Jon said that if you're not willing to compromise then it's going to catch up to you.
Gary wondered if Benjy is a guy who could still snare an attractive girl when he's 60. He said that's the road it's heading down. Jon said he's not sure what ability he'll have at that age. Gary said as a general rule you don't get thinner as you get older. He said he could be like Orson Wells when he's 60.
Jon said that Howard thinks Benjy can't let Elisa go because she's so good looking. Gary said he doesn't know about that. Jon asked if they think they'll stay together. Gary said no. He said the relationship is already over. He said as soon as she finds someone she likes then it's going to be completely over. JD said he thinks JD will be thinking about her until he finds someone. Richard said he thinks that Benjy will stay friends with her. He said he thinks he stays friends with a lot of ex's. Gary said he knows of one who he isn't friends with and that's Marianne Garvey.
Jon asked Mike Hambrick what he thought about that whole thing. He said something that some of the guys didn't get. Jon had Mike run through his Howard 100 News headlines. Mike did that and then Jon had the guys get in their plugs. They ended the show around 10:50am.
Jon said it's taking advantage of your audience in a way. He said it's billed as a spiritual thing and it just doesn't sit right with him. He said it just leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
Gary said Wolfie sent him a note and he told him what it was like to be there. He said Wolfie basically told him about the ticket packages they had. He said most of the women said that they felt it was an investment in themselves. Jon said he would think that buying VIP tickets to a concert is similar but they're not claiming that they're going to make you a better person. Jon said Oprah is promising a different experience. Gary said she's offering it. He said maybe it does work for some of these people.
Gary asked Jon of he would pay for VIP tickets to see Rush and get to sit with them. Jon said no and asked Gary if he would do that for Bruce. Gary said he doesn't think he would. Jon said they're in a different position and they can get into things like that. He said maybe if you're a fan you would take that shot to meet someone like that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she wanted to address the Howard not doing merchandising thing. She asked why Howard doesn't do it and donate the money to North Shore Animal League. Gary said he could but maybe he's thought better of it. He said she should call Howard and ask him on Monday. She also corrected Howard on his correcting Sal on the spelling of Mulatto recently. She said Howard got it wrong when he corrected Sal.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it's cool to just listen to someone than get to meet them. He said he used to like Ted Nugent but now he just disgusts him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said his girl watches Oprah and she always gives back to her fans. Gary said that he doesn't know that she will. He said he's thinking that she will. The caller said she always gives things to her fans so that's why he's thinking she will. He said she does seem to give away a nice chunk of what she makes.
Jon said no one is saying she's not generous. He said that you can read the article about it in the NY Times and judge it for yourself. Jon said they were going to take a break after that.
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Jon said it seems that they both love each other but one is not in love with the other. Jon asked if it's a situation where Benjy doesn't want to let go but Elisa wants to break up. Benjy said that it's not a black and white situation. He said this is even more grey than others. Benjy said they got to a point where she felt they were going toward marriage. Benjy said in some ways they are and in some they're not. He said she wants to move on if they're not in that definite place.
Gary said she did say she loves him but she's not in love. Benjy said he feels her love and they do say they love each other. Benjy said he feels that she loves him. He said part of them thinks it would be fun to date. Benjy said what he told Elisa is that he would rather have random sex with a girl than date another girl. Jon asked if he wants to do that. Benjy said there is a part of him that does but he thinks most men have that. Benjy said he wants to think that it's destructive to both of them. Jon asked if he would let Elisa do that with a guy and then come back to him. Jon asked if he would be offended by that. Benjy said he would. Benjy said this could be a repression or something. He said he doesn't feel he has that jealousy that most people do. He said he doesn't know how much it would bother him.
Gary asked if JD decided to get married and he sent invitations to Benjy and Elisa separately. He asked how Benjy would feel if Elisa brought someone else. Benjy said he could handle it. He said they have talked about the office Christmas party. He said they are going together. Jon asked if she would be upset if she brought a date. Benjy said yes but he doesn't know how much.
Gary said he thinks he would be upset. Jon said Benjy is wishy washy with his feelings. He said that would frustrate him if he were Elisa. Gary said he isn't picking on Benjy but if Elisa brought a guy to the party and he was 6' tall and insanely handsome he wouldn't wonder what that's all about.
Benjy said he feels that if he was ready to commit then Elisa would be too. He said that's why it's so hard to get away. He said he feels so good for her. Gary said that's the classic set up for a guy who is going to be heartbroken.
Jon said they have a relationship expert in there now. He said he's a fantastic actor. He said that Jason Schwartzman is there. He said Sal is there as well.
Jon asked Jason what he thinks about this relationship. Jason said that he's no expert but he's been broken hearted. He said he's had a lot of bad mornings. He said if you feel comfortable then it's never great. He said he should try to be himself. He said when he has done that he ends up alone. He said there's a thin line between truth and solitary confinement.
Gary said Benjy was saying that he wants to be himself and he doesn't know why he has to change. Gary said there has to be compromise. Benjy said that he doesn't want her to be hurt ever. He said that would kill him. Jon asked if he can handle being hurt. Benjy said he feels more okay with his own hurting.
Jon said he thinks that they've all had girls who fall out of love with them. He said that one of the most difficult things is to let go. Jon said that it's an ego blow and it's a bunch of things. Jon said if someone says they're not in love with you then you need to let them have their space. Jon said if it's meant to be then they'll be back together. Benjy said he and Elisa like to be together. Jon said she's almost like an emotional friend because they're not having sex. Benjy said that's not clear. Gary said it is clear.
Jon said they only have Jason for a short time so he wants to talk to him. Jason said he's married now with two kids. Jason said he thinks it's difficult. Jason said nothing is easy and you have to work on a relationship. He said you wonder if it's just bad or is it time for a different reality. Jason said his mom told him once after he broke up with a girl that it wasn't over. He said she told him that it was just this version that was over. He said he always thinks about that. Jason said he knows this sounds cheesy but there is something to that. He said you do have to let some things close. He said it might just be a new version coming up later.
Jon said Jason walked in and Steve Brandano saw him and he wasn't sure if he was more excited or if Jason was more excited. Jason said he loves the show and he's been out of touch for the past couple of months. He said he listens when he's home on his car radio. He said he just sits in his car listening to the interviews to be over.
Gary said he has such a great memory of Jason's mom coming to do their show at K-Rock. He said that Mark Coppola got her to do the show. Gary said Howard was talking about something and she just about walked out of the station. He said he talked her into staying and she was great with Howard. Jason said she's an actress and the aunt of Mark Coppola. Jason said he's been a fan since then. He said he didn't listen to that but he read Private Parts when he was in 7th grade.
Jon asked Jason about collecting Vinyl. Jason said he loves that it's made a comeback. He said you can't just skip a song on a record. He said that you have to listen to the whole thing. He said you can't pause a movie in a theater either. He said that he hasn't been to a theater lately since he has 2 kids now but he likes records for that reason. He said he thinks music is the best thing in the world so no matter how you get it is great. Jason said he loves old keyboards and guitars too. He said he loves it all.
Jon asked if he thinks collecting spoons is a weird thing. Jason said not really. He said anyone who is enthusiastic about anything is great. He said anyone who spends time with something is interesting. Jason said he loves experts on things. Gary said he knows a guy who collects old tobacco jars. He said that's interesting to him.
Jason said he heard a theory about why people collect things. He said that they say we collect things that we didn't get as kids. He said that tobacco jar thing doesn't really fit with that. Jason said his wife loves the show but she doesn't collect anything. He said he admires that way of life too. Gary said if you have two collectors then you can have a really messy household. Jason agreed.
Jon asked Jason what he's plugging today. Jason said he's plugging a movie called ''Listen Up Phillip'' and it's coming out in New York today. He told the guys what the movie is about and who he plays in it. He said he plays an asshole in it. He said he loved playing that part where the guy doesn't care what other people think. Jason told the guys he loves listening to the show. Jon thanked him for stopping in and went to break after that.
Sal was in so Jon asked him about what Benjy is going through and compared it to what Sal went through. Jon said that relationships sort of ebb and flow. He said it can be hard to get someone to fall back in love with you. Sal said he agrees. He said some things are worth fighting for and some things you just have to let go. He said that sometimes you might be better off apart. He said Benjy is fortunate that he's not married. He said that could make it even more difficult. He said they have the opportunity to move on and fine genuine love. Jon said he has an escape plan.
Benjy said he would love to have kids with Elisa and there is no down to that other than being financially scary. He said he thinks she'd be a great mom. Gary said he's in it for the rest of his life though. He said Benjy doesn't appear to realize that. Gary said that he's not thinking about everything that happens with that.
Sal said that marriage locks you in and he thinks that Benjy's fear is that he's afraid he won't be in love with her and he'll want new pussy. Benjy said it's not about that. Sal said he thinks that he has fear of wanting more vagina. Benjy said Elisa said to him that he should start dating. He said he told her he would feel so disloyal to her doing that. He said having the sex would be fun but getting emotionally involved with someone else isn't want he wants.
Benjy said they aren't really broken up. He said that Elisa can say that they are but they way they're behaving shows they're not really broken up. Gary said it seems like it's more stalking than anything.
Jon said that he thinks that Elisa is afraid of really hurting Benjy. Benjy said they've been through a lot and some things are hard to talk about.
Gary said they were talking about how this has all the ear markings of them picking Benjy up off the floor in a few months. He said that Benjy isn't like anyone else though so maybe that won't happen. Gary asked if he has ever been dumped before by someone he's really in love with. Benjy said he has broken up and he has been devastated even when it's his idea to break up.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he went through something similar to what Benjy is going through. He said Benjy needs perspective. He said it doesn't sound like he has the right perspective yet. The caller said he thinks Benjy is worrying about her. He said his advice is that he needs to focus on himself and what he wants instead of on her. He said that he will make progress doing that. Benjy said he's in therapy and he's talking about similar things. Benjy said that is a thing. He said he thinks they both go back and forth with that. He said Elisa worries about his life too. The caller said he shouldn't even worry about her. Benjy said that resonates with him.
Gary said he's not sure why this guy thinks Benjy is going to do the right thing. He said most people don't do the right thing. Jon said he thinks that he has to move on from this. Benjy said that's what bothers him about this. He said they want him to be broken up or not. He said it's not that simple.
Jon said Elisa says that they're not having sex and she's not in love. Jon said he thinks that he has to let her go and do his own thing. Jon said he can be friends with her and just not think that she's a girlfriend. Jon said this is drawing it out. He said he can see how it can be kind of frustrating to both of them. Gary asked if Benjy thinks it's odd that he's in and out of a relationship. He said he's keeping her life from moving on. Benjy said they last had sex 2 weeks ago. Gary asked why she didn't say that on the air the other day. Benjy said that she doesn't want to have intercourse but they are having sex. He said they are regularly intimate with each other without having penetrative sex.
Jon said he wants to hear what's coming up with Howard 100 News so he asked Brett Larson to give them his Howard 100 News headlines. Benjy asked him when he last had penetrative sex. Brett said he is in a regular relationship so he has it regularly. Brett ran through the headlines quickly.
After that Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and had the guys get in their plugs. Benjy gave Elisa a plug for her Twitter account. The guys got in a few more plugs and they ended the show around 10:50am.