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| Friday | Latest Master Tape Theatre |
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Howard started the show talking about how he was talking to Gary about a clip that's going around on the internet. He said it's of JFK when he was president and the US Hockey team was playing like shit. He said JFK is bitching about it. Howard played the clip and President Kennedy was talking about how they were playing like girls. JFK asked who sponsored them and said he was disgraced by a team that lost 17-2.
Howard said it's amazing what matters to the President of the United States. Robin said we were part of the cold war at the time. Howard said that's true. He said you think stuff that's important is going on behind the scenes but it's really not. He said it's so weird. Robin said that the Germans and Russians were wining everything at the time.
Howard said the guy known as The Beast (Mark Labbett) is coming in today. He said he's going to play Fred in Win Fred's Money. He said this guy is part of a new game show called The Chase. Howard said they're putting up the 5 grand for the game. Howard said this guy is such a pro at winning game shows. He said he's got a 155 IQ. Fred said he went to Oxford. Fred said he's not sure why someone so intelligent is doing a game show. Howard said the guy is 6'7'' tall and he's really intimidating. Robin said he has the kind of brain to solve the problems of the world. Howard said a lot of the smartest people aren't that productive. Howard said you still have to have a drive. He said he doesn't have to work that hard. He said he can just sit back and answer questions on a game show.
Howard said Mia Farrow's son is like that. He said he's really smart but he's not doing anything to cure any disease. He's going to work for MSNBC. He said the smarter you are the less motivated you are. Howard said that's why he's so motivated. He said he's a big dummy.
Fred said that Kennedy should have known back in the day that we didn't have any professional hockey players playing for us. Howard said they could have found some people to play. Fred said they were like NHL style players in other countries. Gary said we did win in 1960 and in 1980 with all college kids.
Howard said he has some Baba Booey stuff to play. He said during the Marathon they were covering it on ABC. He said one of the reporters was running next to people and interviewing them. He said someone came up and started yelling Baba Booey during the report. Howard played that clip first. The guy just yelled out a quick Baba Booey. Then in another clip a woman was talking about the marathon and someone yelled out Baba Booey a few times.
Howard said he has a clip from a horse race. He said this woman trains horses and she was all emotional about the whole thing. Then her son starts yelling out Baba Booey. Howard said the kid just stuck his arms up and yelled it out. Howard said he'd guess he was 13-15 years old. Robin said that's funny. Howard said he's bad at telling age.
Howard said the guys had a conversation about whether he's too skinny or not. Howard said that's really annoying. Howard said Ronnie was one who was talking about how too thin he looks in his running shorts. Howard said Gary and Jon were talking about it too. Howard said that's what he's going for. He said he can fit in his pants that way. He said he could keep expanding but he isn't doing that.
Howard said he had a Lucas Dell'Abate mention on Good Day New York. He played a clip where someone was talking about his costume and he threw out a Lucas Dell'Abate mention. Howard said that was pretty amazing. Howard said the Lucas Dell'Abate mention was first started by Benjy. Benjy did that for Lucas about 4 years ago. Gary said Lucas asked him to do it like a kid would ask Babe Ruth to hit a home run.
Howard said Lucas doesn't really fit with Dell'Abate. He said it's an old western kind of name. He said you never hear that with Dell'Abate. He said it's the greatest name ever. He said anything Gary chose didn't fit. He said Jackson doesn't fit either. He said Gary fits though. He said it should be Gary or Tony Dell'Abate. Gary said he wanted to go with Rocco or something. Howard said that makes sense. He said Santo or Sonny or Pasqale would work.
Howard said the Red Sox won the World Series and the news was going out and interviewing people and they all curse. He said they have to cut away and go back to the studio. He played an example where a fan cursed and said ''he's the fucking titties'' and they had to wrap up the live interview and go back to the studio. Howard said he had another one where someone cursed. He played that one and the guy was talking about how this was ''more than fucking history'' and the reporter asked him not to curse. He kept interviewing him but they cut him off a short time later.
Howard said someone was yelling over the game. This person taped the guy yelling at the TV and the guy sounds like a reincarnation of Chris Farley the way he's yelling. Howard played that clip and the guy was yelling at the TV and did sound like Chris Farley. Howard said he loves that guy. He said they should have him make a phony phone call.
Howard said Sal and Richard took Shatner doing Silver Nickels and Golden Dimes and made a prank call to a woman named Mary. Howard played the call and they had Shatner asking Mary to play with him with those clips. Howard said you'd think she'd just hang up the phone. He said Shatner is the creepiest guy when you hear him in that. He said you just hang up. Howard played more of the song and the woman kept talking to the clips. She said it was a really weird call. She said he sounds like a weirdo. The woman eventually hung up. Howard said he loves that. Robin said it was wonderful.
Howard said that guy DeBlasio doesn't seem to excited about possibly winning. He said he thinks that Bloomberg has done a great job. He said they had so much security around the marathon. Howard said they had guys under cover and check points all over. Howard said he thinks that Ray Kelly should stay as police commissioner. He said he knows you have to change but when someone is willing to work and doing a good job then he should stay. Howard said you stick with something you like. Howard said people drink beer and they stick with their favorite brand. Robin said some people switch.
Howard said Richard does that with his pumpkin beer. Howard said Richard took 2 days off. He took the day off before and after Halloween. He said he finds that kind of repulsive. He said he finds that very weird. He asked if he's 5. Howard said he took the day off when they have their writer's meeting. Howard said he had to take off to enjoy Halloween. He said he had to do something stupid. He said he should grow up.
Howard said Richard has some guy who does make up for him and can turn him into a Zombie. Gary said he asked Richard to go in the studio and he said no. He didn't want to get screamed at. Howard said it's weird to him that he'd take off on those days. Howard asked what he was doing the whole day.
Richard came in and said he got his make up done. He said it was an all day thing. Richard said it was like a 6 hour make up job. Richard said he was a zombie jester type guy. He said some friends were in town and they went to Bette Midler's Halloween party. Howard asked if he went to her house. Richard said it was at the Waldorf Astoria. Howard asked if he won the costume contest. Richard said he didn't. Howard said he's such an asshole. Robin said he should have won if his make up was any good.
Howard asked if Bette Midler was wearing something showing off her tits. Richard said she was. Howard said that's so predictable. Richard said Bette came over and said hi to their table. He said that she knows their friends. Howard said he's not sure who is a big fan of Bette Midler. Richard said his friends are huge fans of her's and they go around the country to see her. Howard said he doesn't get that. Howard asked if she sang her song at the party. Richard said Harry Connick Jr. was the entertainment at the party.
Howard had Fred playing Bette Midler's ''The Wind Beneath My Wings'' and goofed on Richard about taking his two days off for Halloween.
Richard said they went to an all night horror movie festival and drank all night. Howard said he must piss blood. Richard said it's all beer he drinks so it's not hurting him that bad. Howard asked if he starts drinking in the afternoon. Richard said he did. He said he starts with pumpkin beer around noon. He keeps drinking all night at the party. Richard said they had some champagne there at that party. Richard said he had maybe 12 beers and then a bottle or more of champagne. He said at the movie theater he had maybe 10-15 16oz bottles of beer. He said he thinks that his body is used to that at this point. Howard said he should be standing at a urinal and drinking. Richard said he should have dressed as a urinal and pissed all over himself. Howard said Richard has a problem. He said he's 39 and still drinking like that. Richard said it's fun. Howard said he doesn't think he should have kids. He said he's not responsible enough. Richard said he's good with his guinea pig. Howard said you can walk away from those. Robin said you don't have to give them life lessons.
Howard said Richard doesn't even have a dog. He said that's more complicated than a guinea pig. Richard said he won't stop drinking if he has a kid. He said he won't bring it to the theater either. Howard said he knows people who get drunk and they're shitty parents. Richard said he'd be a fun parent. He said at Halloween he'd have a great time. Robin said that's not what a kid needs.
Howard asked if Richard took pictures with the make up on. Richard said it wasn't just him. He said his two friends got make up done too. Richard said he was rashy the next day too. Howard asked if he went home after the theater. Richard said he did but it was 9 in the morning.
Howard asked how late he was at Bette Midler's party. Richard said that was until 10. He said the movie started at 10 so they went to the theater right after. He said they played movies all night. He said he slept through one movie. He said that was it though. He woke up and watched the rest.
Robin told Howard that Richard thinks leveled out when he's drinking is those calls he makes to people on the show talking about how much he loves them.
Howard asked if Richard's wife was part of that too. Richard said she had to work and then she ran in the marathon yesterday so she didn't do it. Richard said they live in Queens at the halfway point so they saw her there. Richard said he was drinking but not drunk during that. Howard said Richard was drinking in front of his in-laws. Richard said they had some mimosas. Howard asked if they talk to him about his drinking. Richard said they don't. Howard said they don't need that for some reason. Howard said his wife can't drink as much as him. Richard said she's real disciplined.
Howard played some of the voice mail Richard left for Will Murray once. Richard was wasted and talking about taking a piss outside on a sidewalk. He was talking about what a sexy bastard Will was. Howard said he knows Richard is gay. He wondered why he's not just admitting to it. Howard said he calls a guy talking about how he wants to see his dick and lick it. Howard said there is no defense for that. He said he's never become gay after drinking. Howard said most people would have him thrown in jail for leaving a message like that.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said that Richard has to be gay. He said he went to a Bette Midler party. Howard said he's with him on that. Richard said he likes being around gay people on Halloween because they have fun. Howard said he's also calling guys and telling them to lick his dick. Janks asked if he's ever seen guys that he thinks are cute. Richard said Brad Pitt is one. Howard said he thinks that he'd sleep with him. Richard said never. Howard said he thinks he would be gay for money and that means he's gay. Howard said that he thinks that it would be like $5,000 for Richard to be gay. Howard thanked him for coming in and let him go. Richard asked what he did for Halloween. Howard said he forgot it was Halloween.
Janks said he still thinks that he's gay. He said he should come out and be with a man. Richard said he is not gay. He said he's not even bi-sexual. Janks asked if Brad Pitt was sucking him off would he stop him. Richard said he would be shocked for a second. Howard let Janks go and kicked Richard out of there. Howard said he doesn't understand his work ethic.
The caller said the only reason she watches AGT is for Howard and it's just not enough for her. She said that he has to talk to Don Buchwald about that. She said she has to go to work now. Howard let her go. She told him to talk to Buchwald tonight about it. Howard said he'll do that.
Howard said there are times where he only gets 30 seconds to talk on AGT. He said he also likes that part. He said he can just shut his eyes and wait. Howard said he just chills and waits for his time to come.
Howard took a call from Speech impediment Man who said Howard should do AGT but he should have them fire Howie Mandel. Howard said he likes Howie. Howard said he thinks it would be a mistake if they fired Howie. Speech said that it should be one guy and two hot chicks. Howard said he thinks that's how it should be too. Robin said that means Howie has to go then. Howard said he has never had a job like that before. He said he likes not having the responsibility for the show. Howard said he just goes in and does his thing and doesn't worry about it. Howard said he doesn't have to worry about all of the details of the show.
Speech asked if he's going to fun for VP with Jesse Ventura. Howard said he'd like to try that as long as he doesn't have to do anything extra. He said he read an article about how President Obama was going to take Hillary Clinton over Joe Biden. Howard said Biden has no idea how close he was to losing it. Howard said Biden went out trying to raise money for his own thing and that upset Obama. Howard said Obama was also upset about Biden saying that he was for gay marriage before Obama did. Howard said that's how you end up losing your job.
Howard said someone sent him a link where he was talking about Bill Maher. Howard said he got pissed off all over again. Howard said he was listening to this rant that he got into about Bill Maher. Howard said Maher went on his TV show and randomly brought him into a conversation. Howard said right after 9/11 Bill said that the terrorists who flew into the World Trade Center were not cowards. Howard said that's fine but he caught a lot of shit for that. Howard said he was on ABC at the time and Bill caught a lot of shit for it. He said Bill came on the show a week later and he told Bill he didn't like what he said. Howard said to this day Bill won't let it go.
Howard said he's going to go back in time now. He said that on 9/11 he saw a plane crash into the World Trade Center. He said he knew it was terrorism after the second plane hit. Howard said he was angry and he saw people jumping to their deaths. Howard said this has been burning him up all weekend. Howard said he was watching that and his response was to blow up an Arab country. He said his response wasn't that those people were not cowards. Howard said that's what Bill Maher though.
Howard said he knew someone who died that day. Howard said this guy was running a catering business in the World Trade Center. Howard said this guy was catering to people there. Howard said he was pissed. He said that he didn't think about those guys not being cowards. Howard said that's what Bill Maher thought. Howard said Bill was saying that they were brave. Howard said you don't turn to someone and say that they're brave. Howard said there's something seriously wrong with him. Howard said his response was anger. He said he was on a tirade. He said he was watching people dying that day. Howard said that's why he got angry. He said he would have blown up half the universe that day. Howard said he thinks that his response was normal and Bill's wasn't. Howard said he challenges Bill to go knock on someone who lost someone and say that to their face. Howard said he'll say he wants to go blow up an Arab country and Bill can say that those people were brave and not cowards. Howard said Bill didn't even mention what he had said to his audience. He only told them what Howard Stern had to say. Howard said Bill gets on and he's the coward. Howard said Bill calls him a loon 11 years later. Howard said Bill didn't tell his audience what he said. Howard said he just tells them what Howard Stern said.
Howard wondered if Bill thinks that the guys who blew up the Boston Marathon are brave too. Howard said he doesn't think they are. Howard said they're cowards. Howard said he was listening to this thing again and getting all worked up. He said he can't believe that Bill is still defending what he said. Howard said Bill says he doesn't have closure about what he said. Howard said no one agrees with him on what he said. Howard said that he wants him to go up to someone who lost someone and tell them that he doesn't think the terrorists were cowards. Howard said people were sick to their stomachs over this. Howard said if he's going to bring him up then he should tell everyone what he said. Howard said Bill would bring up what he said that day. Howard said we can all watch everyone go berserk again. Howard said he still thinks Bill is the crazy one. Howard said he was angry that day and did say he wanted to blow up an Arab country. Howard said that was the normal reaction. Howard said Bill would never say what he said again because he knows no one agrees with him. He said he just had to get this out. He said that he went berserk over the weekend over this. He said that Bill should stop bringing it up on his show.
Howard said that Mark Labbett is there to play against Fred. Fred sounded like he was ready to give up already. Howard told him not to do that. He told him to keep his head up. They went to break a short time later.
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Howard said he was sitting next to 50 Cent and he was watching him giving him the fist to the chest bump. Howard said everyone on both teams knew him and said hi to him. Howard said he doesn't think that they know him though. He said he can't get anyone to acknowledge him. He said they give 50 a subtle nod. Howard said Chris Rock gets that too. Howard said he can't get it though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called in about Bill Maher the first time. He said he wanted to point out that Bill was also talking about how we're cowards for using Tomahawk missiles. Howard said he went into that the first time. He said the terrorists would use them on us if they had that technology. Howard said Bill is saying that we should make it a fair fight. Howard said we have technology and we use it. Howard said he likes Bill and he invited him on the show. Howard said he will go on to tell everyone what Bill said after 9/11. He said that he turned to the camera and said that those guys weren't cowards. Howard said he should move to fucking Iran if he feels that way.
The caller said that Maher called our troops cowards and he's never apologized for that. Howard said that our troops are the bravest. He said that no one else is helping out like we do around the world.
Howard asked about the 150 IQ and how that is. Mark said things just come easy to him. Howard said that people with IQs like his are as close as we come to super heroes. Howard said that he can comprehend quickly like many can't do. He said it must be a gift. Mark said that it's not something you notice when you're coming up. He said that he was in the top set when he was 10 or 11. He said that there are people like him so that's who he was mixing with. Robin asked if he gets bored talking to regular people. Mark said that they're interesting for a few minutes.
Howard asked when he graduated college. Mark said he didn't skip any grades. He said that he did find school pretty easy. Howard asked if he would ever study for an exam. Mark said he wouldn't.
Howard asked Mark about teachers telling him about something and if he knew it already. Mark said it was pretty much like that. Robin asked if he saw it before they even said it. Mark said it just came to him. He said math comes very easy. He said that if you understand the rules then it's very easy. He said he knows next to nothing about mathematics but if you know a couple of simple rules then it's easy.
Howard said when you have an IQ like that then you think you're going to do something great, not be on a TV show. Mark said it's all relative. He said in his first year at Oxford he got 245 out of 1000 in an exam. He said that the guy who got second got 553 out of 1000. He said the guy who got 1st place scored 990 and she was only 12. He said that compared to her he doesn't know that much. He said she's out there inventing great things.
Howard asked Mark about his law degree and teaching math. He said he somehow ended up on game shows after that. Howard said he's good with trivia and he has heard Fred play the game against Ken Jennings. Mark said he was surprised at some of the questions they missed and some of what they got. Howard said Mark walked away with $50,000 on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Mark said he used his lifelines with food. He said he used the audience for a question about knitting and he used his 50/50 on a question about a book.
Howard asked if he reads a lot. Mark said he reads a couple of books a day. He said that he does that to prepare for the show and for enjoyment. Fred said he reads books too. He asked what Mark reads. Mark said he generally reads fiction. He said he'll read anything that he finds interesting. Mark said he's also learning about the brands and stores here in the United States in preparation for the TV show. He said they get a lot of the US TV shows and stuff over in England.
Howard asked if he watches The Walking Dead. Mark said it didn't really grab him. He said he loves the West Wing. He said he likes Boardwalk Empire too. He said Game of Thrones is another.
Howard asked Mark if he has to live here to get himself ensconced in the culture. Mark said that the more time he spends here the better it will be.
Howard asked if they have taped episodes of The Chase yet. Mark said they did 6 shows already for season one. He said he hasn't screwed up yet on the show.
Howard asked what game show he did first. Mark said he did one called 15 to 1 back in 1988. He said he was 23 at the time. Howard asked if he won. Mark said he lost on that one. He said in the 1990s he did a game show and lost that one too. Mark said he got all of the points that the team scored but they didn't end up winning.
Howard asked Mark how he became known as The Beast. Mark said he did a quiz circuit in the States and in England. He said that they had a TV show called Mastermind over there. He said that they asked for someone who was smart but very intimidating and his friends pointed at him for some reason.
Howard said he thought he was going to walk in with a beard and all of that. He said that he's wearing a suit. Mark said his name is Labbett and that's close to the French word for The Beast. He said it's as simple as that.
Howard asked Mark about how he can recall reading things that he read as a child. Howard said he's so jealous of that. Mark said it made passing exams very easy. Howard asked if the pages are so vivid that he pictures the word on the paper. Mark said it's like that with some books but it's paragraphs here and there. He said he speed reads now and it's tougher to remember everything. Howard asked if he enjoys reading the books. Mark said he does. Howard said he doesn't have any fun reading books at all.
Howard read about how Mark knew how to do the times tables when he was a kid. Mark said you don't think about it being special at the time. Howard said he was in 5th grade and he was going to flunk because he couldn't remember his times tables. Howard said his father blew his stack when he didn't know. He said that his dad would show him flash cards trying to teach him. Howard said he's jealous that Mark has it come right to him.
Howard asked Mark what 12x13 was. Mark blurted out the answer. Howard said that's amazing to him. It just comes right to him. Howard said you either have that or you don't. Mark said when he was a teacher he would take the test and try to do positive reinforcement with them. He said that it's all about getting the kids confident. Howard said he can't think of what 12x13 is no matter how he relaxes.
Howard said he thinks that Mark would be bad as a teacher. Howard said it comes so easily to him and he can't understand what it's like for people who don't find it so easy. Mark said he can relate to that. He said he knows how a friend dealt with kids in a physical education class. He said that he was an athlete and he couldn't handle the kids not having the motor skills that he had. Howard said that he had friends who went through school very easily. He didn't have that himself.
Howard asked Mark if he makes his living from doing the TV show. Mark said he does work with a quiz company writing questions. Howard asked what he can make doing that. Mark said this year has been a good year. He said he made over $100,000 pounds which is over $160,000. Howard asked if he thinks that he should make more than that. Mark said there are two types of money, enough and not enough. He said he's making enough.
Howard asked Mark about his girlfriend and if she only wanted to marry him after he started winning these games. Mark said it just kind of happened like that. Howard said she came on to him after he became known as The Beast. Mark said that Howard can think that way if he wants.
Howard asked if women are coming on to him now that he's The Beast. Mark said they are. He said he thinks that he can go out and celebrate with them.
Howard said that it's time for the moment of truth. Howard said they have a $5,000 grand prize from The Chase which is the show Mark is on. Howard said that this is Fred's toughest challenge. Fred said Mark is going to be very tough to beat. He said that he respects him a lot. He said he's really not nervous. He said he doesn't think he will beat him but he will try. Fred said that he doesn't intimidate him though.
Howard said they have a change in the rules. He said that they used to go back and forth and pass on questions. Howard said that's a pain in the ass so they eliminated that part. Howard said that they will judge how many they got right and keep track of time.
Fred was going to go into Robin's booth while Mark played. Howard said they should have named the show The Beast. Mark said they insisted on keeping the name The Chase from the original show.
Howard had the guys move Fred and had Robin come over to the studio to sit on the couch. Howard said he seems to have lost the questions. Gary said they had another set. Howard moved on and asked Mark the questions. He had a minute to answer them all. Here are the questions and the correct answers:
Mark got 6 correct. He missed the question about Good Night Moon. Howard said he made the questions too fucking easy. Gary said he got 6 correct in 38 seconds. Fred had to beat that. Howard spent a little time talking to Mark about his game and how he got called into doing it. Mark told Howard how it all worked and how he got the job.
Howard asked what he does on the show. Mark said he answers the questions on the show. He said everyone plays against him. He said that the game is stacked in their favor but he's a pro and a very good pro. He said two teams have beat him so far. He said he got his ass handed to him by one guy. Howard said he should go on Jeopardy. Mark said he'd do it if he got the offer. He said he'll take anyone on.
Howard had Fred come in to play. Howard told him about the rule changes and how he can't go back and answer a question he missed. He said that he will be fired if he loses. Howard asked Fred the same questions. Fred missed one. He missed the one about Henry VIII. Howard asked Gary what happened. Gary said Fred got one wrong. He got the rest right. Howard said Fred got one wrong so it comes down to time. Fred said that he should have come up with the answer to question 4 quicker. He said he read that book to his daughter so many times. Gary said that Fred's time was 41.03 seconds. Mark's time was 38 seconds. Fred said he doesn't feel so stupid. Howard and Gary said that's amazing. Mark said he's a very solid performer. He said he can play. Howard said that was very impressive. Howard said he came so close. Fred said it's pissing him off that he forgot about the bunny. He said it's been four years since he read that book. Howard said he has to fire Fred now. He told Benjy to work the equipment.
Howard said this was great competition. Mark said he expected it. Howard said he figured he was going to clean Fred's clock. Howard said that they have $5,000 for Mark and it's from his own game show. Howard said it was a pleasure to meet him. Mark told Howard he's going to be proposing to his girlfriend. He said he went and got her a ring there in the city. Howard asked if he likes to do doggy style with her. Mark said he read about how being on your knees and pulling her on to you is the best way for someone his size. He said that way you're not putting your weight on her. Howard asked if he ever shows his penis on his TV show. Mark said that's never come up. Howard said he would do it if the ratings start to drop. Howard let Mark go and went to break after that.
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard using Billy Mays audio clips. Fred also played Katy Perry's ''Roar'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that was Katy Perry playing. He said he has that song. He sang along with it a little bit. Howard didn't have it quite right. Howard said he thinks she's sexy. He said that she's a catch. Howard said Russell Brand didn't last long with her though. He said someone who can pay bills is a home run. Howard said most people don't work. He said he walks around every day and sees people not working. He said he can't turn down a job himself. He said he's like a Jamaican. He said he grew up with a bunch so that must be why he's like that.
Robin said Katy Perry was saying a few weeks ago that girls were taking off too much clothing. Then Lady Gaga got naked. Howard said she's coming back on the show soon and he's hoping she does that on the show.
Howard said he got an extra hour of dreading coming to work today. He said it did suck that it got dark so early yesterday. He said he stays inside most of the time anyway though so it didn't really make a difference.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he's ever hung out with David Letterman socially. Howard said he does that every other weekend with Dave. Howard jokingly said he has his wife and kid out every other weekend. Howard said he photographs Dave and Dave photographs him. He said he's a lot of fun. Howard said he's very social and loves to talk and to wrestle. He said they put on Singlets and wrestle. Robin said she can't imagine. Howard said Dave is going to kill him over this. He said they wrestle together. He said they do it in the backyard. He said now it's too cold to do that. He said Dave is just crazy. Howard said Dave has a lovely family. He said they don't shave on the weekends and the wives love it. He said he's one of his best friends. He said they're going to go out to Montana with the families soon. Howard said this has been going on for 5 years now. He said that Bobo's question was brilliant. He said that's great for a guy with an 80 IQ. Howard said Paul Shaffer comes out to the house too. He said that Paul wrestles too. He said he jumps up and down like a woman at times. Howard said it was great fun. He said the fun doesn't stop when those two come over. Robin said she's glad to hear he struck up a friendship.
Robin asked if Howard is closer to Dave or Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said Jimmy comes first. Howard said Dave loves playing Jax. He said he's fabulous at it. He said the guy is an amazing Jax player. He said his daughters are into it too so they play with Dave. Howard said they sit there for hours playing Jax. Howard said they have a really good time together.
Howard said Dave is such a nice guy that he has a mole that changed and he asked Dave to check it out. He said Dave looked at it and said it looked normal. Howard said Dave told him to take off his shirt and he'd check him for moles. Howard said he thought that was very nice. Howard said he thought about how great it was that Dave was checking him for moles. Robin asked if he did the same for Dave. Howard said that didn't come up.
Howard said Dave once showed up dressed like a Muslim at his house. He said the guy has a tremendous wit. He said they laughed and then they wrestled. He said Dave wrestled in high school and he had to wrestle him when he offered to do it at his house. Bobo said this is some revelation.
Howard said Oprah is having some auction for her stuff to raise money. Howard said he has some audio of her couch talking. He had a clip of someone talking as if they were Oprah's couch talking about how her farts were stuck inside him.
Howard thanked Bobo for the call and let him go. Howard said he has a great time with Dave. He said that he has to get Jimmy into wrestling too. Howard said he has had Dave and Jimmy at his house and they wrestled too. Howard said Jimmy beat Dave though. He said Dave didn't like that. He said Dave put Jimmy in a scissor where he had his head right by his balls. Howard said Jimmy asked if he could believe he was wrestling David Letterman in his backyard. Howard said have is the queen bee and they all love to please him.
Howard said he has to go on Dave's show soon. He said they asked him to come on for sweeps. Howard said he has to do it. He said he will talk to him about all of this. Robin said she would love to see them come clean about this.
Howard said the bit was funny and not offensive. He said that he and Jimmy email each other and if anyone ever saw what they wrote they'd be apologizing for months.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about professional video gamers and if he thinks that should be considered a sport. Howard said no way. He said if you're playing a sport there should be some way to get injured. The caller asked if he thinks Chess is a sport. Howard said it's not. He said that's a competition. He said there's noting physical there.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show and Gary was saying some stuff that he didn't agree with. He played a clip of Gary talking about how he hates people who don't think the way he thinks. Howard said that's not the case. He said he kind of knows the right way. He said Gary was reacting to him saying that he doesn't respect people who write things down. Howard said he read the book ''Getting Things Done'' and they say that the human brain is bad at remembering things. Howard said that was his point. He said he said he doesn't respect people who don't write things down. He said he knows a guy who runs a business and doesn't write things down and he doesn't respect that.
Howard said today's world revolves around a computer. He said if you don't know how to type and you're doing hunt and peck it's not right. He said everyone should know how to type 50 words per minute. He said the whole world revolves around that. Howard said he learned to type in high school. He said that if he hadn't learned he would go to a typing class and learn. He said it would take him about a month. Howard said you have to be a fucking moron not to do that. He said that he sees people doing hunt and peck and he has no respect for them.
Howard asked Gary if he knows how to type. Gary said of course not. Howard said he wants to know what kind of person doesn't go out and learn to type if they don't know how. Howard said he doesn't even think about it. He said he can just hit the keyboard and he's done quickly.
Gary said he took a typing class about a year after he graduated college. Howard said he should take one now. Robin said it just takes practice. Gary asked Fred if he can type. Fred said he's fairly fluent. Gary said he thinks that most men their age didn't take classes. Howard said his father made him take the class. He said he's glad he did. Howard said there were mostly girls in the class too. He said people didn't even know he existed back then. Howard said he learned to type and he's glad his father gave him that advice.
Howard said if he didn't know how to type he'd learn. Gary said it hasn't held him back. Howard said that's because he gets Jason to type a lot of stuff for him. Howard said he's like he's not even a man. Gary said he bets there are people he respects that can't type. Howard said he's just saying use your head. He said that he could have that skill. Howard said Gary would love it if he leaned. Gary said Howard should read books. Howard said he read 3 books this weekend. Howard said he was busy so he didn't read the whole thing.
Howard said he's talking about functioning in the world. He said he could be free. Howard said he sometimes opens up Microsoft Word and starts typing. He said he's done and it's all clean and done. He said Gary is missing out. Gary said it's like talking to a wall. Howard told him to just say he's wrong. Gary said ''Howard, you're right.'' Howard said he can't argue this. Gary said it is a skill everyone should have. He said it's not right to say that there's something wrong with you if you can't type. Howard said he should learn from him. He said he's the brightest guy he's ever going to meet.
Gary said that this is what his point was about Howard hating anyone who isn't like him. Howard said Gary's job includes typing and he types slowly. He said it should be effortless. Gary said he knows that. He said that Howard is the only word and everyone else is wrong. Howard said that's right.
Howard said Gary is hunting for the letter R while he's typed 7 emails. Gary said that Howard said he was wrong about what he said about him thinking he was right about everything. Gary said it was a title in his book that he hates people if you're not like him. Howard said maybe he was joking. He said he jokes about a lot of things. Howard said it's not that hard to learn to type. He said there is a learning curve but he'll get it. He said an email could come to him in a snap.
Gary said there is software to teach you to type. Howard said nothing beats being there with a real person. He said he would go to an old fashioned typing class. Howard said they have high school and college classes. Howard said he could hire a woman to come to his home and learn. Gary said okay. Howard told him to say ASDFJKL;. Gary said it. Howard said that was his first lesson. Howard said he doesn't want his producer to just get by. He said he wants him to thrive.
Robin said there are some people who are very fast at hunt and peck. Howard said if they can get their work done fast then that's fine. Howard said he doesn't have to look at something if he's copying it and typing it out. That's what Gary should be able to do. Howard said he sees what Gary uses his fingers for. He said he pecks away and picks his nose with the other finger.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has big fingers so it's hard for him to type. He said he can still type at about 40 words per minute doing hunt and peck. Howard said that you are typing constantly with computers these days. Howard said he doesn't even think about it now. He said he just types. He said he's on his computer about 50 percent of his day.
Howard let Hanzi just snore for a minute. He said he could listen to that all day. Howard said that's such a weird, random noise we make. Howard said that doesn't sound healthy to him. Howard wondered if he has a sore throat when he wakes up. Robin said she doesn't think he would.
Howard wondered if he could say something to Hanzi over and over in his head and try to change his subconscious. Howard told him that he is his god. He told Hanzi he wants to make love to Howard. He finds Howard sexy and he wants to blow him. Hanzi kept snoring. Howard said he's going to hang up. Robin said she wants to see how long it can go on.
Howard said he thinks he has a bit there. He said he'll ask questions and see what Hanzi's answers are. He said one snore is no and two is yes. Howard asked him if Bill DeBlasio is going to win the next election. He snored twice. Howard said he was going to put him back on hold. Hanzi was still snoring away. Howard put Hanzi back on hold.
Howard asked if Benjy can type. Benjy said he can't. He said he's been lazy about it. He said that he was a hunt and peck guy too. Howard said he can type so quickly and he doesn't even think about it. He said it should be an extension of your hand and your brain. He said he can text very fast too. Robin said you don't use the right fingers for keys though. Howard said it's fine.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's right about the whole Bill Maher thing. He said he could go on Letterman with him and kick him in the balls. Howard played the audio of Maher calling the terrorists not cowards for doing what they did. Howard said that's what Bill thinks about the terrorists. Howard said that was the last thing on his mind when they flew those planes into the buildings. Howard said he's not going to harp on this. He said it's like beating a dead horse as OJ Simpson would say.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he loves all of the new content they're doing these days. The guy said he also won $700 the last time he was on. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard asked if they're making that announcement today or tomorrow. They told him to wait. Howard didn't hint at what it might be about.
Howard said he hates Halloween. He said his wife leaves a big bowl of candy in front of the door and says help yourself. He said it's all gone in a matter of minutes. Howard said he dressed up like John Stamos and his wife made love to him for 4 straight hours. He said he almost passed out from that. Howard said people thought he was a scary skeleton but he wasn't in costume.
Howard said Richard took off two days for Halloween. He said he smells like pumpkin all the time now too. He said he has pumpkin cologne or some shit.
Howard said some woman was handing out letters about obesity on Halloween. Howard said that was in North Dakota. Howard said he gave a letter like that to Benjy and he just ate the letter.
Howard asked Robin if she watched any of the marathon. Robin said she didn't seem much. Howard said it was impressive how they handled the security.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he used to do security for the marathon. He said Howard has been so supportive of them over the years. He said that he appreciates that. Howard said they ran the whole thing like the military. He said they had little wall things standing up to keep people from getting through. Howard said they had people on lists and all kinds of stuff. He said it was a coordinated effort that was very impressive. Howard said Ray Kelly is doing a great job there. Howard said it's a city of millions of people and it's nothing short of impressive. Howard said that there's no reason to get rid of these guys. Robin said they do have to change.
The caller said there are cops who will pay each other to cover parades. He said they tell them that they're going to hear a lot of recreational gun fire at the West Indian parade so they don't want them rushing into the crowd. He said that's been going on since at least 1993.
Howard let the caller go and mentioned the Baba Booey shout outs that happened at the marathon. Howard said Pam Anderson ran the marathon. He said she cut her hair short and she doesn't look like Pam Anderson anymore. Robin said she didn't have big boobs either. Howard said maybe she had them removed again. Howard said she changes those things like tires. Howard said women are so interesting. He said she got that pixie hair cut and she looks like shit. He said women love when a woman who is hotter than them gets a shitty hair cut. Howard said behind their back they're saying she looks like shit. Howard said he's not sure why she'd cut her hair like that. He said she's a sex symbol. Howard said he best that she puts in hair extensions real quick.
Robin said the marathon is feeling ripped off because they thought they were going to see Pam Anderson. Howard said guys are wondering where she was.
Howard said last week was big in music news. Lou Reed died and The Jonas Brothers are breaking up. Howard said they hardly knew Lou.
Howard told Fred to play Rihnna's Diamonds and he'll give a nice speech for Lou. Fred played the song and Howard talked about Lou and what a loss that was. Howard said it wasn't working though. He gave up a few seconds later.
Howard said he's going to vote tomorrow. Robin said she is as well. Howard said he should take a break. He said he has a few more things to play and then they'll do some news.
Howard came back and said that was the great Jimi Hendrix. Robin said there's an American Masters special on tomorrow night. Howard said he won't watch. He said he has no idea what that is.
Howard said Prince has a line he wrote for Sinead O'Connor. Howard said he wrote ''It's been 7 hours and 15 days since you took your love away.'' He said that's brilliant. He said Prince sings the song on an album he did. Howard said Fred should have that. Fred found the song and played the Sinead version but that's not what Howard wanted. Howard said Prince sang it with a black woman. He said he can't remember her name. Howard said that really is poetic.
Fred found a song that might be what Howard was looking for. Howard said it didn't sound right to him. It was Prince and Mary J. Blige. Howard said it was Rosie Gaines. He said this version was horrible. Howard said Rosie Gaines is 50 times better than Mary J. Blige. Howard said he's not sure who Rosie is but she must be some old time singer. He told Benjy to look it up on that machine of his. Howard asked if Rosie is big. Robin looked her up and said she doesn't look old. Howard said maybe it's an old picture. Fred said that he's looking up the song but he has to wait for the ad to end. Howard said no one has ever hear of Rosie Gaines. Fred found the version Howard was looking for. It was Prince and Rosie Gaines performing ''Nothing Compares To You.''
Howard told Fred to keep the song playing. Robin said that Rosie is only 28 years old. Howard said he figured she was an old woman.
Howard wondered if Hanzi was still snoring. He picked up and Hanzi was awake. Howard said he should get that snoring checked out. Hanzi said he doesn't care. Howard said that he picked up on him like an hour ago. Hanzi brought up the Bill Maher thing and Howard asked if he can call in without attacking him at some point. Howard said he seems to angry at him. Hanzi said that Howard and Bill are friends. Howard said they are not. Hanzi said he's friends with Jay Leno too. Howard said he is not. He asked why he would lie about that. Hanzi said that after 9/11 there were a lot of celebrities that kept their separate ways.... Howard cut him off saying that his point is idiotic. He said that he's not friends with Jay Leno. Hanzi told him to hold on. Howard said he doesn't have time for this. He said this is ridiculous. He said his snoring is more entertaining. Hanzi said that Howard stayed on the air on 9/11 because he was told to. He said he had to spread propaganda about Muslims. Howard told Hanzi he's right and he had to go. He hung up on him and said he's on a weird rant. Robin wondered if it ever occurs to him that he's wrong.
Howard said he doesn't know what's going on with these women teachers who are banging their students. Howard said he doesn't get why the students go to their parents and tell them about it. Howard said he would never tell them. Robin said that these women screw up these kid's lives in some way. Howard said this teacher was hot too. He said if he had only had something like that. He said that he was traumatized every day in his life. He said that he was so ready to handle something like that. Howard said this chick is super hot. He said this kid goes home and tells his parents about it. Howard said now she's going to jail.
Howard said a lot of people emailed him about why he picked JJ Abrams to direct The Thing with Two Heads. Howard said he's the right man for the job. He said he's already expressed a belief in the project. Howard said that's why he's going with JJ. Howard said he loves what he did with Star Trek. Robin said the latest one was amazing.
Howard said George Takei will play the other head. He said the movie starts off with George blowing a guy while his head is attached to his boy. Howard said that they're going to get a hard X rating.
Howard said he has tape of the Toronto mayor who allegedly smoked crack. Howard said you can hear him yelling at people to get off his driveway in this clip. Howard played the audio and all the guy does is ask people to get off his driveway.
Howard said that he has another clip where a radio guy in Toronto takes a call from someone defending the mayor and the host realizes that it's actually the mayor. He asked the guy if it was him and the guy hung up. Howard said he even screwed up and said ''I... I mean he...'' Howard said he has to learn more about this guy. Robin said some of his advisors are telling him to step down or take a leave of absence. Robin said on Sunday Rob Ford said he hasn't seen the video and he wants it to be released. Howard said that really is the caller. Howard played the clip of Ford asking them to release this video they claim to have. Robin had a clip of him making an apology for what he did. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
After the break Howard read a story that someone wrote about the 15 year old kid who turned his teacher in for having sex with him. The author was talking about how the kid threw it all away and that's not what people did back in his day. Gary said that was from the web site ''What Would Tyler Durden Do.'' Gary asked Howard if he knows who Tyler Durden is. Howard didn't. Gary said that it's the guy from Fight Club. Howard said Gary thinks he knows too but he found out from someone else. Gary said Jason told him. Howard said Gary does that to him all the time. Howard said he's never done that to anyone. He said that it's not the right way to handle it. Howard said it makes him look like an idiot if he doesn't know who that is. Howard said he doesn't want to look like an idiot. Howard told Gary to just knock it off. He said he doesn't want to be quizzed on stuff like that. Gary said he wanted to speed things up so he did it like that. Howard asked why he would slow things down by asking about it when he could have just said what it was based on. Howard goofed on Gary about that for a minute.
Howard said that he's having some trouble with his monitors again in there. Howard said they're dead as a doorknob. Scott came in to check it out. Howard and Fred did their impressions of Scott for a few seconds. Scott said he's working on it.
Howard said he was reading about this thing people are doing in tanning beds. He said they wear ski goggles so they look like they've been skiing. Robin said that's crazy. Howard said they want to look like they went out skiing. Howard said that's how much they care about what other people think. Howard said he had Sal do a Roman soldier helmet thing on his face in the tanning bed.
Howard said Tan Mom is back on the market. Robin said she read that she's getting a divorce. Robin said she was thinking about that because Sal has a thing for her. Howard said he's sure that Sal would date her if he was single. Howard said the husband went on some show an lost his wife to a lie detector test. Sal said she has a nice smell to her. He said he sat on her lap and she had nice legs. Howard said he saw pictures of her over the weekend and thought she looked horrible but Sal would be into her. Howard said he had some audio of Tan Mom on the set of a porn not being able to say her lines.
Howard said Sal goes to tanning beds. Sal said he stopped after he ''caught melanoma.'' He has a scar on his ass from where they removed a growth. Sal showed the scar and then said he has another scar and showed Robin his ass. Robin wasn't looking and said she wasn't going to look.
Howard played the audio of Tan Mom not being able to say her lines on the set of a porn movie. Sal said her voice turns him on. He said she's so ditzy. She was supposed to say ''I have an opening for 2'' and that was it. She kept saying other things instead of what was written for her. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard asked Gary if the Jets are looking good again. Gary said that they are 5-4 right now. They spent a short time talking about that. Howard said maybe they're gelling with the new QB.
Robin said there was an obituary for Lou Reed in the paper this weekend and it was written by his wife Laurie. Robin read some of what she wrote. She wrote about Lou doing Tai Chi when he died. Howard said he saw them on vacation once and he thinks that they looked like a couple that got along very well. Howard said he had a friend who was in to Tai Chi and he didn't get it. He said it's not for beating someone up. He said that he would rather learn something where you get to beat someone up. Howard said he thought it was like slow motion karate. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about a guy who was saved by his dog in a bear attack. The guy was lost in the wilderness and he didn't have any food. He ended up killing his dog and eating it. Howard said that's tough. Robin said survivalists are saying eating the dog was a good decision and he survived because of that. Howard said he hear that you can go without food for several weeks. Robin said this guy lost half his body weight an he's suffering from hypothermia. Robin said maybe the could have turned on him and eaten the guy. Howard said he read that the guy ate the dog after just 3 days being stuck out there. Robin said the guy was stuck in the wilderness for 3 months and lost 90 pounds. Robin said maybe the guy kept the meat for a while and survived off of it for a while. Robin said the guy was known for spending weeks in the woods alone. He wasn't even listed as missing for a long time. Howard said the dog must have been pissed after fighting off a bear for the guy. Robin said they say that starvation doesn't usually hit for 30 days. This guy ate the dog after 3. Robin said that's a hard decision to make. Howard said maybe he thought the dog was going to die anyway. Howard said maybe it's best to just not become a survivalist. If you are one then don't get a dog.
Robin read about a book that's out about Jack Nicholson. Robin said they give a list of his conquests of famous women. Robin said some of them may not be well known. One of them is Madonna. Robin said Merryl Streep and Jonie Mitchell are on the list too. Robin read a few other names on the list and Howard goofed on Gary about the way he asks if he knows who certain people are. Robin read more about what they reveal in the book about Jack. There was something about him being a premature ejaculator. Howard said the women are probably happy about that. Howard said he got to hang with Jack one night at dinner. He said Jack didn't pay much attention to him though. He said they did exchange some pleasantries. Howard said they were on line for desserts once and talked about that. He said he's not even sure Jack knows his name. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Bernhard Goetz being arrested and in trouble for allegedly trying to sell pot in a park in New York City. Robin said that Bernhard approached the woman in the park and they say that she was young and pretty and that she found him very creepy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks he should stay on AGT. He said it's the best panel they've had on the show. He said that Mel B and Heidi Klum keep him watching. He also threw in a Lucas Dell'Abate mention. Howard said they'll figure out the AGT thing in good time. He said he's just trying to figure out what he wants to do.
Robin read about a shooting that took place at the Los Angeles International Airport. Robin said the shooter just started shooting at the TSA agents. Robin said he killed one person. Robin said the guy's name is Paul Ciancia and he was shot by some agents and police in the melee. Robin said he was shot in the head and he's in critical condition at this time. Howard said they say they were able to talk to him a little bit right after he was shot. Robin said they say that the bullet took out his teeth and knocked out part of his face. Robin said she's not sure that he was able to say much. Howard said that's a horrible situation.
Robin read about one of the Cleveland kidnapping victims going on the Dr. Phil show. Robin had some audio of the girl speaking to Dr. Phil.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was reading something about Lou Reed the other day. He said that he was really into the Tai Chi thing so he had weapons and stuff. He said he thinks there's a movie coming out about that Tai Chi where they do beat the crap out of people. Howard said he never sees that. He thanked the guy for clarifying.
Robin read about two skydiving planes that collided in Wisconsin. Robin had some audio of one of the instructors talking about that. Robin said everyone survived. She said that the pilot of the second plane was able to land safely.
Robin read about Scott Carpenter being remembered. Robin said he was the second American to orbit the earth. Howard said you never want to be second. He said you aren't remembered. Howard said he actually does remember him though.
Robin read about a Texas coach who collapsed on the field on Sunday night. Robin said they say that he was awake and in stable condition.
Robin read about Banksy taking a painting and putting Hitler in it. That painting sold for $615,000 and the proceeds will go to charity.
Robin read about Oprah Winfrey's auction and how they racked up $600,000 for her furniture. Robin said they were picking up everything they could in the auction. Robin said everyone wanted her stuff. Howard said he should sell some of his shit. Robin said Bobo is out there just waiting to buy his stuff. Howard said he's wasting his time on radio. He should just sell stuff.
Robin read about the box office take for Bad Grandpa and Ender's Game. Robin said that Ender's Game knocked Bad Grandpa from the top of the list.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has been working in strip clubs from the age of 19. He said he can tell him about the celebrities who are douche bags. Howard asked what he does there. The guy said he started bouncing and now he's the GM of one. Howard asked what kind of money he can make. The guy said over six figures cash. He said he sees a lot of fucked up girls at the clubs. He said the last thing he wants to hear is a woman's voice nagging him at home. He said there's nothing wrong with that and no offense to JD. Howard asked why he said that. The guy was referring to what Richard said this morning about Brad Pitt. Howard said that's what he tells the guys there. No one knows who they are. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
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Jon took a call from a guy who brought up what Howard did to Gary about asking a question today. Gary said that he really wasn't trying to make Howard look like an idiot. He said that's just the way Howard takes it.
Jon said that Gary tried to do that thing with Howard where he just tells him he's right. Gary said that pisses him off even more.
Anther caller said he took a typing class when he was a senior. He said he thinks the class was maybe a month and it's probably the best thing he ever did. He said Gary should take a class. Gary said he thinks it's a great idea and he's proud that his kids took classes for it. Jon said he took classes and it paid off for him. He said that sometimes people don't follow through on things they're told there. Gary said he thinks that he's going to take a course. Benjy said he'd go with him. Gary said he's going to do the home course. Benjy said his dad stressed it and he never applied himself. He said he learned well enough to get by but he really needs to learn. Gary said he thinks that he can type 30-40 words a minute but he has to look at the keyboard.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Gary sometimes. He said that he just keeps pounding him and pounding him and he should walk out. Gary said the only thing harder than standing there toe to toe is to hear Howard beating the shit out of you while you sit at your desk. He said it's like when your wife yells at you and you have to sit there and take it.
Another caller asked how Gary's wife and kids take it when that happens. Gary said his wife and kids don't really listen much. He said his wife hears some of it and she'll ask how it was and he'll just tell her that it wasn't that bad.
The caller also asked Benjy about why he cares if people don't like his girlfriend. Benjy said he thought that Robin was putting her down an he didn't like it. The caller said that he should just move on and ignore them when they do that. Jon went to break a short time later.
Gary said there is something very cave man about watching sports. He said there are times he'll start yelling at the screen. He said it's very interactive. Jon said sometimes it can ruin your weekend. He said it shouldn't but it does. The guys spent a little time talking about games that were on this weekend.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he was curious if any of them can write in cursive anymore. Gary said he can but it's not easy. He said he writes notes to people and he doesn't do it in cursive. He said he thinks Howard would be annoyed by that. Jon said they were taught that in school but he's not sure if they still do. The caller said he doesn't know if they still teach it. Jon said they might have to ask Sal. Gary said it's supposed to be a more formal way of writing to people. Benjy said he couldn't remember certain letters in the handwriting analysis they did recently. Gary said getting the D in Dear is hard to do.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to thank Gary for stepping up and putting Howard in his place. Gary said he doesn't think he did. He just argued his point. The caller said he's been listening for years and years and he doesn't think typing is that big of a deal. Benjy said that typing in other parts of the world might be like the level of knowing how to load fuel in a truck. He said for most careers it's an essential part. Jon said he thinks that Howard is breaking Gary's balls a little bit but he is trying to do him a favor or at least teaching him a lesson that will help him out. He said he needs that to get by. They went to break a short time later.
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Jon said Howard seems to be very envious of that too. Gary said Howard looks at it like a super power. Gary said Howard has said to him many times that he's impressed that he can remember stuff that happens on the show. Jon said he brings up the times tables too. Gary said he remembers a lot but not all of them.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he got out of his car when they started the contest. He said he did a countdown and he thinks that Fred came in at 38 seconds. Gary said he was keeping time in the studio and they had Steve Brandano keeping a clock too. He said they were almost dead on with each other. Benjy asked when they start the clock. Gary said he starts at the time Howard says ''What was...''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that there is no bunny in ''Good Night Moon.'' He recited the story and there was no bunny. Gary said the woman is telling the story to a bunny. Steve Brandano said that Gary is right and the story is being told to a bunny.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has to hand it to Gary. He said Howard has abused him since 1984 and he generally enjoyed it. He said he thinks Howard was on his period today. He said Gary is the best. He told him to keep up the good work.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the Jets probably aren't going to win a Super Bowl in their lifetime. He said Fred is impressive too. Gary said Fred really is impressive. He said he always has been. Jon said Fred took on Ken Jennings and now The Beast. He said he took them on and came close to winning today.
Gary said when he plays Stump the Booey the hole in his game is hair metal. He said he just doesn't know what that stuff is. He said he has studied though by listening to that stuff on Sirius when he can.
Jon asked Gary about Howard talking about possibly doing AGT again and what he thinks about that. Gary said that a lot of publicists like Howard on that show. He said that they don't talk about his radio show but they do mention him on AGT.
Jon said the Bill Maher stuff gets to Howard in a big way. Gary said Bill is a serious kind of guy. He said he was trying to get him on the show and trying to say that they should let bygones be bygones.
Jon had Lisa G in the studio to give them a preview of what they had coming up on today's Howard 100 News. Lisa gave her rundown and then they ended the show. They were done around 11:15am.
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Howard started the show talking about how long his day was yesterday. Robin said they're all 24 hours. Howard said he was doing stuff for the show and doing personal stuff. He said he was too tired to even masturbate. He said that's really weird. He said he wanted to finish watching Homeland and Walking Dead. He said he did that but he doesn't remember any of it. He said next week he'll forget what happened this week.
Howard said he was watching that guy Tavis Smiley he had Robbie Robertson on his show. He said Robbie is from The Band and he knows he met him once. He said he wishes that he had gotten along with the guy when he met him. He said Tavis was good with the interview. He said he asked him about how he got the name Robbie Robertson. That was a nickname that he just didn't fight. Howard said it reminded him of how much he liked The Band and their songs. Howard said that they had a guy in the band who had a huge beard. Robin said beards scare her. Howard said that's why he was saying that The Beast should have one on that show he's on. Howard said he needs to dirty himself. Robin said she saw a guy on the street with a big beard and she thought that he must be up to something.
Howard said Eminem was on SNL this weekend and he was wearing a big ski parka. He said they must do that for some reason. He said it's weird that they wear that when it's like 100 degrees in the studio. Howard said Eminem had a guy there with the turntables and he was wearing a big jacket too. Howard said he thought he looked like Rick Rubin and it turns out it was Rick. Howard said he thinks that Rick was on stage just to look like a bad ass. Howard said that bear works like that. He said he thinks he was just there for show too.
Howard said the guys in ZZ Top have those big beards too. Howard said maybe he should do that. Robin told him no. She said she saw his face this morning when she came in and she likes it. She said he looks good. Howard thanked her for that. He said he's working on his appearance lately. He said he's doing a lot of things. Robin said she thought he looked handsome this morning. Howard said he's hot. He said he can turn on a dime.
Howard said that he's like a door mat. He said he thinks that most people know themselves well enough to figure out what they want to do. Howard said he's in the middle of trying to figure out what to do about America's Got Talent. He said he's going to his shrink and trying to figure that out. He said he's not sure if he's happy enough to do it again. He said he should just know the answer. Robin said she should know the forces that are pulling at him. Robin said if there's some lack of ease then he should understand what that's about. Howard said part of him enjoys seeing the people and walking into the show that's already produced. He said he likes the people who work there. He said he likes all of that. Being on a network TV show is cool too. He said it's weird too. He said the amount of time he's doing the show is hard though. He said he has to be there to do the show and they're working on making things easier for him.
Howard said he's going to make a decision this week. He said that he was thinking about how many more good years he has left. He said he's miserable to leave and miserable to stay. He said maybe there's a part of him that's so used to turning everything miserable that he's not sure what's fun anymore.
Robin said he may not even know this but the whole time he's doing it she sees him having fun. She said every time he talks he talks about how miserable he is. Howard said she's right. Howard said he wonders what the fuck he's doing there. He said he's miserable doing anything though. He said there's not a morning he wakes up that he doesn't say ''Oh fuck.'' He said he's happy at home with his computer. Robin said that's not true. Howard said Robin knows more about him than he does. He said that's depressing. Robin said he can't enjoy the experience of it. Robin said he can't evaluate the moment that he's happiest. Howard said he has a serious problem.
Howard said Gary has been helping look at schedules and things. He said he can't go into it blindly again. He said even the second season he did that. He said he just said he'd do it. Robin said he has to be aware of that stuff. Howard said he keeps himself in the dark. Howard said Brandon from NBC sent him some schedules and he looked at them and went ''Ugh!'' Howard said they're going to have a meeting today and figure it out.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that creatively it's not for him. Howard said his shrink thinks the same thing. Howard said he thinks the guy looks down on it. Howard said he said it didn't sound like he was having much fun.
The caller said Howard is kind of an elitist and even he thinks that this isn't right for him. Howard said he told his agent that he'd probably write a movie or a book or something. Howard said he likes AGT and he has fun doing it sometimes. The caller said he should do his own thing. Howard said he is doing his own thing. He said what he likes about AGT is that he's just one of the players. The caller said he's not one of many though. Howard said he's just part of the machine. She asked if he thinks he's Mel B. Howard said he's not. She said she had to go. Howard said that woman is like his mom.
Howard said he doesn't consider himself better. He said he actually does. He said he thought Mel B did a good job this year though. He said he likes that they choose the judges. He said he didn't want to be in on the decision. Then he said he actually did want to be in on it.
Howard said he's good at being a judge. Robin said maybe he should be The judge. Howard said he should be. Robin said he should be able to walk in and just have things done.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she loves him dearly. She said she's waiting for the decision. She said the fans love him and she thinks he has one more season in him. Howard said that's what his wife tells him. He said she knows him pretty well. He said there are certain things going on in their lives and this would be the time to do it. Howard said Mariann loves AGT so much so he can't go with her decision. Howard said she has a whole agenda. Mariann said they should bring the acts to New York and not make Howard travel. Howard said he wants Mariann's job on AGT. He said she's actually there more than he is.
Robin said the good thing about AGT is that they get to see a lot of fans. Howard said that is one of the good things. Gary came in and said that AGT is good for the publicists that see him on that show. He said that they seem to like seeing him being good with kids and things. Howard said there's a part of him that likes scaring people away from him. He said he likes playing that whole game.
Howard said the big announcement is that his birthday is coming up. Mariann cut him off and said that she knew that they were having a birthday party. Howard said this is going to be a birthday blowout bash. She said that she can't wait to get there. Howard said she isn't in yet. Howard said they won't say where it will be at but he will say when. Howard said Sirius has put a tremendous amount of money into it. Mariann said he deserves it so much.
Howard said the birthday show will be on Friday, January 31. Mariann screamed. Howard said she loves it. Mariann said she has time to lose 10 pounds. Howard said this will be a live broadcast on a Friday night. He said it'll be one of those shows that will be very special. Howard said his dear friend Jimmy Kimmel will be hosting the show. Howard said he's thrilled about it. Howard said if Jimmy wasn't in he may not have done it. Howard said he's a good host and he knows how to keep things moving.
Howard said the list of people who have already signed on for this is huge. He said he can't mention some of the names. Gary said they can wait and keep building momentum. Howard said this will be a very special night of music and special guests. Howard said it'll be great. Howard said it's going to be about 17 hours. He said it may go 2.5 to 4 hours. He said that they've never had rules like that before so they won't put any in place. He said it'll be at a theater and they have to leave at some point.
Howard said the good thing is that the fans will be in the audience. Howard said it'll be free for the fans. He said they will give away tickets starting soon. He said it'll be a spectacular night. Howard said that they'll have fans who have been with them for years and things like that. Howard said maybe not lunatics like Mariann who call in all the time but other fans. Howard said just keep listening to find out how to win.
Howard said it should be a great night of radio. He said that he's very moved by the response. He said they'll have a lot of people coming in for the show. Gary said he hasn't been this excited about a party in a long time. Howard said they have a lot of people working on the show. He said Ross is working on it.
Mariann said he's the one who makes the whole thing tick and move. She said he deserves this. Mariann said it's for his 60th birthday. Howard said they're not mentioning his age. Mariann said that she bets that John Stamos will be there. Howard said John may not be big enough. Howard said he's actually coming in soon. He said that they are referring to this as a tribute show and not a birthday show. Gary said they'll be honoring Howard.
Mariann kept yelling so Howard hung up on her. Howard said they won't mention his age at the party. He said that they'll ask how old he is and they'll just say ''I don't know.''
Howard said Sirius was great about this thing. He said they asked about doing the show and they put money up for it. Howard said they did say that it had better be a great show though. Howard said they have a lot of people putting a lot of time into it. Gary said they have weekly meetings about it an they're slowly growing into what could be 2 hour meetings.
Howard asked if this will be a formal thing. Gary said he's probably going to rent a tux. He said he may wear sneakers with the tux since it will be a Rock and Roll party.
Howard said Eric's problem on Twitter is people get a hold of him and get him irritated. He said that he is answering every one of them. Howard asked if he wants to have lunch with Charlie Sheen. Eric said he doesn't remember writing that.
Howard said Eric wrote one about reporting someone to Twitter. He said Eric writes back to these people. Eric said that what he's reading are the wrong tweets. He said that there are accounts that look like his. Howard asked Gary why he's saying that he didn't write them. Gary said some of them are older. He said it's definitely his account. Howard read one where Eric said that he has never cheated on his taxes and told the fuckhead to go to hell. Eric said he wrote that one.
Howard read more of the tweets and Eric confirmed a couple. Howard said they're all his. Howard asked Eric what he wanted to say to his Twitter fans. Howard asked what happened to the guy he said he was going to report to Twitter. Eric said he doesn't know if anything happened. Eric said that you can report people but you don't know what happens to them. He said they can be reported for spam or cyber bullying. Eric said he reports them for spam. Howard said maybe he should just ignore them. Eric said that's the problem he has. He said that last night he had a normal conversation with someone last night. He said that guy doesn't want to talk to him anymore because he's being harassed by people who harass him. Howard said that's great.
Howard asked Eric what his message to the fans is. Eric said the only option he has now is direct message people. He said he won't do any public tweets. Howard said he may lose followers if he does that. Howard said people follow to get information and now they won't get any. Eric said that may happen but that's the way it's got to be. Howard said that's a big announcement but not quite as big as their announcement. Fred played a turkey gobbling sound as Eric was talking to Howard.
Eric said that he wants to say thank you on the air to all future tweets. Howard said he has a million questions about this. He said it reminds him of the Ringo ''Peace and love'' speech. Howard asked Robin what he's saying. Robin said he's saying thank you since he won't be tweeting thank you.
Howard said Eric will have to follow the people he wants to direct message. Eric said the way direct message works is that he has to follow them so they can direct message him. He said that way they can't say anything negative to him if he doesn't want to see it.
Howard said other people are going to suffer not seeing what he's writing. Eric said if Robin follows him then she can direct message him. Howard said he can't get enough so he may have to follow him. Eric said that he has a message for celebrities. He said Twitter is going public in a few weeks and he thinks they should buy as much of that stock as they can so they can control Twitter. Howard said he sees what he's saying. He said they can control the company if they own enough stock. Howard said he owns enough turkey stock and he doesn't need that in his life.
Howard said Eric was on the show talking about buying TNA wrestling. He said he read that the rumor is that Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins wants to buy it. Eric said that's not a good fit. Robin said maybe Billy will net him run things. Eric said he Billy was a pagan devil worshiper years ago and that won't work with the TNA people.
Howard said he doesn't know about that. He said that Eric is putting the word out that he's not going to be tweeting anymore. Eric said that he finds it hard to believe that they're against bullying but they won't get rid of the accounts of people who are harassing others. Howard said he doesn't think he can top that statement so he's going to end it now. Howard said Eric is saying peace and love to the people on Twitter but he will not be responding to their nice tweets. He said he has way too much to do.
Howard let Eric go and kept doing the Ringo Starr ''Peace and Love'' speech. Then he played the clip of Ringo making that announcement.
Howard and Fred did their impressions of Eric getting his message out. Howard said that announcement was mind numbing. He said he just let him do his thing. Fred did his impression of Eric doing that announcement and pausing after every syllable. Howard said that's what he heard the whole time. He said he just let Eric do his thing instead of helping him out today. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said this is The Band. He said that he was watching Robbie Robertson with Tavis Smiley the other night. Howard said he's not sure who Tavis Smiley is. Robin said she thinks he's a journalist. Howard said this is one of the greatest albums ever made. He said that they don't get enough credit. Howard said he could probably name every song on the album. He said he should have told Robbie what a big fan he was. Robin said that could fall flat.
Howard said he was at a party in Malibu with Carmen Electra. He said that he was walking around looking cool and people would let him into their house just because of that. Howard said she had a bikini with high heels on. He said she was walking the beach with them on. Fred told Howard that the song The Weight wasn't on that album. Howard said it was. Fred told him he's wrong about that.
Howard said he didn't know what this song was about when he heard it. He said he was listening to Neil Young yesterday and he wasn't sure what he was singing about either. Howard said he did a song later in life that was a hit. Gary asked if it was ''Rockin' in the Free World.'' Howard said that's it. He said his friend Pat wasn't sure what the song was about either. Howard said he thought he knew but he really doesn't. He said that he just kept singing the song.
Howard asked Fred to pull up the entire The Band album that was brown. Fred said he can tell him all the songs that are on it. Howard told him to go ahead. Fred read all of the songs from the list. Howard said Whispering Pines is the best song on the album. Howard said he thinks that Robbie wrote all of them. He said Levon got to sing them.
Howard had Fred play ''Whispering Pines'' and asked what else is on there. Fred told Howard some other songs and Howard had him play ''Look Out Cleveland.'' Howard said Whispering Pines didn't sound so good. He said in his memory it sounded better. Howard said he had some shit going on and maybe he was out of his mind. Fred played the song and Robin gave that a ''Wow.'' Howard said he thinks this was about black people. He said that's what he thought since he was living in Roosevelt.
Gary came in and told Howard where the ''Rockin in the Free World'' thing came from. Howard said that makes sense. He told Gary to send the story to Pat too. Howard said he can tell him that he wanted him to see that.
Howard had Fred play ''Rockin' in the Free World'' and ended up signing along with it. Howard said that's what he was doing at the gym. He said they should get Neil to do the birthday show and he can sing along with him. Gary said there's a story in a book that says that the song wasn't written about what they said it was about.
Howard sang along to the song again when the ''Keep on Rockin in the free world'' part came up. That was the only part he knew. Howard said he likes harmonizing with that. He said that's like what Bon Jovi would do with Richie an Jon. Howard said that's what he'd like to do.
Howard was pretending to tap the guitar pedals on the floor. He said that Richie Sambora would come up with that double necked guitar. He said that he'd smack the pedals on the floor. He said that he's good at pretending to do that. Howard asked Fred what he does with those. Fred said they're level boosts and distortion and a lot of other things. Fred said they may have someone back stage doing it and they just do that for show on the stage.
Gary said he thinks that Neil is playing New York in a couple of months. Howard said he saw that. Howard said he doesn't want to hate him so he won't go see him. He said he knows he's going to play his shitty songs. Howard said if he does his hits then he'd go see him.
Howard said that Mike writes that OJ Simpson says that he's the father of Khloe Kardashian. Mike said that's what's believed by many people. He started to tell the story but Mike had such a shitty phone that Howard was distracted and cut him off. Howard said that the iPhone is great but it's ruined radio. It turns out they tried to get him on a hard line but that line was so bad that they couldn't use that either.
Mike got back to the OJ story and Howard asked if it's true that he's the father. Mike said they believe it's true. Mike told Howard that Bruce Jenner left Cris Jenner and this could help him out in the divorce. He said that he could use this to discredit her. Howard said the state is a 50/50 state anyway so he's not sure why they fight over stuff like that. Mike said that's just what they do there in California.
Howard asked what's going on with OJ. Mike said he should be in jail for another 5 years at least. He said he got 9-30 years. Howard asked Mike if he thinks that OJ has been doing gay stuff in jail. Mike said that they do have reports that he hangs out with gay groups there in jail. Howard said that doesn't mean he's gay though. Mike said that's true.
Howard said Miley recently reported that Miley Cyrus is working on a Super Bowl commercial that would make her the highest paid celebrity in a commercial. Mike said they've heard various figures but they're talking like $15 million for a 30 second commercial. Howard said he didn't know there was that much money in pistachios. That's what she'd be doing the commercial for.
Howard asked Mike about another story Mike wrote about Jessica Simpson banning her father from her wedding because she's worried about him performing a gay stunt. Mike said he didn't call it a gay stunt. He said that she is worried that he may go to the wedding and upset people by doing something embarrassing. Mike said her father came out and she's afraid that he may do something flamboyant or start something with his ex-wife. Mike said that he was also Jessica's manager and he walked away from the marriage with millions from her fashion line.
Howard said he was thinking about Mike the other day. He said he remembers that Mike had a National Enquirer TV show and now TMZ does the same kind of thing. Howard asked if he gets upset about that. Mike said he made a deal to do the show and then within a week MGM and National Enquirer were sold. He said that he's not jealous of Harvey's TV show. Mike said that he thinks he's done a good job with making it into a gossip fest. He said that they're not that great at breaking news. He said it's all about the gossip thing. Mike said that's what he wanted to do but the company was sold and he didn't have a lot of leverage. He said he had a bunch of new people do deal with and they didn't let him do what he wanted to do. He said they made it into something he didn't conceive.
Howard said he read that Lily Tomlin and her brother are going to have double gay marriages. Mike said that Lily is going to marry her partner and her brother is gay so he wants to get married at the same time. Mike said that they decided that they would get married on the date that would have been their mom's 100th birthday.
Howard said the most asked question of Mike is ''Is Tom Cruise gay?'' Mike said that's what he opens his book ''Out For Blood'' with. He said that he has never seen evidence that it's true. Mike said their paper doesn't out people for no reason. He said John Travolta has been in the paper as being gay but he's been with men. He said that he doesn't believe in outing people though. Robin said she saw that Tom was out with some woman the other day.
Howard gave Mike a plug for his book ''Out For Blood'' and asked if it's a comedy. Mike said that they do list it under humor. He said he found that kind of odd. Howard said that Mike is doing well. He said he's written 11 books. He said that's amazing. Mike said that they informed him yesterday that he's now a best selling author. He said he was in the top 100 books in his category. Howard congratulated him on that. He said it was good to talk to him. Howard gave him some more plugs and said that he's on an iPhone. He said that he should take that money he makes and buy a better phone.
Howard let Mike go after he said that Geraldo Rivera threw him a big party last night and thanked him for that.
Howard said he liked having a book but he didn't enjoy writing it. He said it was the whole summer writing that thing. He said that he remembers writing a couple of chapters that he enjoyed. He said that whole thing drove him crazy. He said he enjoys doing nothing.
Howard asked if they learned anything from Mike. He said they learned about OJ and how he might be Khloe Kardashian's dad. Howard said he had to take a break.
Howard played the clip and Lisa was asking OJ about his son and what he's been up to. She told Jon about a t-shirt she got for Robin that says ''Fuck cancer.'' She just keeps making small talk and Jon sounded like he didn't want to answer her dopey questions. Howard played another clip where Lisa was talking over Howard talking on the radio. Lisa was talking to Jon asking him if he thinks that they should have to organize things like Howard was talking about.
Howard asked Shuli what Jon is doing when he tapes these. Shuli came in and Howard told him this is genius. Shuli said he doesn't want to give away how he does this. He said Jon will put his headphones on and make it look like he's working to keep her from talking. He said Lisa just keeps talking. Shuli said that she talks to the whole room. He said it's a jump ball. He said anyone who wants to jump in can jump in. Shuli said that she must be used to not getting answers since she's home with the cat all alone. He said Jon will stop answering with words and he'll just answer with sounds.
Jon Leiberman came in and said that Lisa is going through the NY Post from 5 in the morning until Howard comes on. He said she asks his opinion on everything in the paper. Howard asked if he'd be more productive if he had his own office. Jon said he would. He said he doesn't want to be a jerk about it so he puts the headphones on and tries to bloc her out. He said he types really hard trying to make her hear the sound so she'll leave him alone.
Howard said on AGT when there's a free moment Heidi Klum will start singing. He said that he'll be sitting there and making notes and Heidi will start singing. Howard said if someone walks by and asks if someone rang the bell she'll start singing a song about ringing a bell. Howard said he just wants to get his work done and she's singing. He said she'll sing more if you ask her about what song she's singing. Howard said he went to the producers an said he was fed up. He said they came up with a plan where they'd tell her that they tape during the breaks and they can't get clearance for the songs she's singing. He said they told her that it would cost them millions. Howard said she came out and said that she was so upset about that. He said he told her she should just sing public woman songs and she started to do that. He said he told her that the producers told him that she can't sing those either. He said she stopped singing for the rest of the season after that.
Howard got back to Jon and he was telling Howard about Lisa screaming in the back office about the birthday show announcement even though she knew about it already. He said that it was like she was hearing about it for the first time. He said her response was 10 times more than Mariann's. Jon said that her enthusiasm for Howard is something he's never seen. He said she would be Mariann if Mariann wasn't Mariann.
Shuli said that Ronnie ran into the news room when Lisa screamed because he thought something was going on. Lisa came in and said she's so excited. Howard said that party is going to be a lot of fun. Howard asked Lisa if she ever thinks that she's annoying Jon. She said she does and she just can't help herself.
Howard played another clip of Lisa talking to Jon about organizing and how she thinks that Richard is organized. Howard said it sounds like she's not talking to anyone. Jon said he's the one in the room so it's him by default.
Shuli said he cut out a few seconds of audio in the clip but her questions are rapid fire. Howard played another clip of Lisa talking to Jon about Dave Herman and making a statement or asking a question. Jon said he's not sure what that was. He said he looks forward to Howard ending an interview because Lisa has to go out and talk to the guest. He said that Lisa runs back there and he loves when Howard keeps the interview going for a while. He said that keeps Lisa out of the office.
Howard played more of Lisa responding to the show as she's listening. She's laughing and talking to the radio. They were talking about Dave Herman at the time. that led to the guys talking about Dave Herman and what's going on with his case right now. Gary said he read the defense an it looks like Dave is claiming he was at the airport to meet the woman who had the 7 year old. Howard said maybe it's possible that he was there to meet that woman.
Lisa asked if Howard would talk to Dave. Howard said he would. He said he'd love to. Lisa said that she's trying to make that happen.
Howard said this Lisa G stuff is good. He told Shuli to keep it up. Howard said Shuli writes down stuff she says too. Howard said he writes it down and you have to guess what statement she made out of 3 statements. Howard had Shuli do his thing. Shuli said that some of these are fake and some are real comments made by Lisa. Here's the first list:
Howard said number 3 is what she said. He was correct. Jon said that stuff never stops. He said if there's silence in the room she'll follow that up with something almost exactly the same. Howard played another one with Shuli. Shuli read the next list of possible lines Lisa said:
Howard had Shuli play another one. Here's the next 3 choices:
Howard went with number 2 and he was right. Jon said that Lisa will ask their 20-something year old news guy what he's thinking about these things. Howard played another one. Here's the next list from Shuli:
Howard took a call from a guy who said that this is borderline mental patient stuff. Howard said that he has to try and figure this one out. Howard said he thinks that it's all three. Robin agreed. Shuli said that they're right. It was all three.
Howard asked Lisa about the Mayonnaise thing. Lisa said that it is the best food. Howard asked about falling in love with hot chocolate again. Jon said this is their life back there. Howard said she just throws out these things from nowhere.
Shuli said Jon is going to snap one day. He said he rolls over on his chair and tells him he can't take it. Howard asked how he writes these things down. Shuli said he writes them on Post-It Notes. He said his favorite was ''I'm not paying 10 cents extra for lettuce.'' He said that she once blurted out that her low fat yogurt had fat in it.
Howard said that it has to be Lisa when she doesn't know she's being taped. Jon said this happens for 8 hours a day. He said she may not even realize what her brain is doing. Lisa said that she knows she's doing it but her brain just goes.
Howard wondered if this turns guys off to her in her personal life. Lisa said it's just at work. Howard said he bets it's the same outside. Lisa said her friends tell her she's too quiet outside of work. Howard asked if she would reverse it and do the opposite at work. Jon said that he'd love her to try.
Howard had Shuli do one more Lisa G thing.
Howard went with number 2. Robin said that she thinks it was number 3. Howard was correct. Howard said it's scary that he's good at this. Jon said that Lisa was upset that there was no lobster in the lobster salad at some restaurant. Jon said that she read about that in the NY Post of course. He said that Lisa was sent over the edge for days and days. Jon said that this is what it's like with her. She has commentary on everything. He said that she asks about the pants they're wearing and she'll go all over the place with that and it spirals out of control.
Lisa said she also asks the guys what Howard is going to start the show talking about. Jon said he knows that's coming. He said that Lisa asks what they think Howard is going to open the show with. She'll list off everything she thinks that Howard might talk about. He said you can hear her scream down the block if he does start off with something that she predicted. Howard said she is in love with him. Lisa said she's committed to the show.
Howard asked Lisa if she's voting today. Lisa said she is. Howard asked Jon if he's voting in Connecticut. Jon said he is. Howard said he doesn't like people who don't vote. He said he's going to go out of his way to vote. He said he's studying up on all the issues. He said there's a proposal today where they'd let 7 casinos open in Upstate New York. He said there's a part of him that doesn't want to say yes but another part does. He said that they also want the mandatory age of judges... Fred laughed so Howard asked what was up with that. Fred said he was reading about it and he has his thoughts on that story. Howard said this is why he doesn't talk to Fred. He said that they want to push the age of judges retirement to 80 from 70. He said he doesn't think that's a good idea. Howard said he's voting no on that.
Howard said the gambling money is huge but there are so many people who have gambling problems. He said it's just not a good thing for people to gamble. He said it kills him to vote for that. He said he hates to see people's lives ruined like that.
Howard said he has to figure out the mayor thing too. He said it seems like everyone is thinking about voting for DeBlasio. Howard said Mayor Bloomberg has done so much good for the city. He said he's not sure what he's going to do when he gets in that booth.
Howard thanked Shuli for his LisaG-isms. He said he thought that Lisa G's interview with Flavor Flav was great. He said that Flavor told her about why he wrote 911 is a Joke. He said that they waited 15 minutes for 911 and a friend died because of that after being shot. Howard said Lisa did a great job with her interview. Shuli said the old school rappers know Lisa.
Howard wrapped up and let the news team go back to work. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song parody about Robin's boobs. Howard said he hopes at the big birthday show they perform this song by Eli Braden. Howard said he liked that Matt Evans 99 Problems parody about Robin.
Howard said he has tape of Gary typing in the office yesterday. He played the clip of Gary doing a monkey sound and pounding on a keyboard. Howard said he has a Sour Shoes performance of a Bruce Springsteen song where Sour is playing both Mad Dog Russo and Gary Dell'Abate. Howard said he hopes they never sing. He said he'd rather just hear them talk.
Howard said he had enough of that and played another song parody about Baba Booey that was to the tune of the William Tell Overture. Howard said that was Daniel Medelson. He said he wants him at the birthday party.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the fans should be excited about this birthday show announcement. Howard said that's on January 31st. He said that it's going to be pretty wild. He said it'll be a night of music and entertainment. Howard said it might not all be adulation though.
The caller asked when he's going to be on Letterman. Howard said he hasn't booked it yet. He said they did call him to come over and do it but he hasn't booked it. He said he will announce it when he knows.
The caller, Jim from Raleigh, asked if he's seen Raquel Welch lately. Howard said he hasn't but he thinks she's held up well. The caller said he thinks that he'd fuck her. Howard said Jim called in a couple of weeks ago asking about the birthday show. Jim said he was thinking about it and he knows he can't call in on January 5th. Howard said they haven't announced some of the details about the party yet. He said they eventually will.
Howard said that Fred was fantastic yesterday taking on The Beast. He played Fred's theme song ''He's Wonderful Fred'' because he was about to ask him some questions. Howard said that he wanted to know his top 5 people on the staff.
Fred said that it would be Howard at number 1. He said Robin would be number 2. He said he enjoys Robin and thinks that she's a remarkable person. Fred said after that it's a very fast drop off. He said Benjy isn't even in the top 20. He said he'd have to hire other people to put him on the list. Howard asked who is number 3. Fred said Benjy is dicky to friends of his. Benjy asked him to explain what he's talking about. Fred told him to shut the fuck up. Benjy said Fred is a fucking asshole. Howard told them to calm down.
Howard asked Fred who else is in his top 5. Howard said that was unbelievable what just happened. Fred said Gary is at number 3 and Jon Hein is next. He said that he'd put Ronnie in the top 5 too. Fred said Scott the Engineer is number 6. Howard said that he gathers that it's Howard, Robin, Gary, Jon Hein and Ronnie. Howard said he and Robin can change spots on that list.
Howard asked Fred if he had to save Sal or Richard on a boat that was sinking, who would he save. Fred said Richard would have to die. He said that Sal has kids and Richard has a guinea pig. Howard ended the segment and played Fred out with his song.
Fred and Benjy started in fighting again. Benjy called him a fucking asshole again. Howard said that they can do that in another segment at another time. they had to take a break. Fred said he apologized to the audience about that outburst. They went to break after that.
Howard said Fred and Benjy were going at it. Howard said that he thought it was shtick. Howard said they don't get along. Fred said he gets along with Benjy but he doesn't care for his antics at times. Benjy said Fred is condescending at times. Benjy said that he didn't know what he meant when he said he was dicky to his friend. Fred said he had a problem with the way he was talking to Robin the other day. He said that really bothered him. Fred said Benjy kept beating that into the ground. Howard said he felt he came off a little strong on that too. Fred said Robin apologized and Benjy kept beating her up over it. He said he thought that was shitty.
Benjy said that he appreciated the apology but he had feelings about it and sometimes they take a few days to go away. He said he thought that was reasonable. Fred said he doesn't agree.
Gary said that Benjy said some nasty stuff about Robin after what she said. Gary said that maybe Benjy should apologize to Robin. Howard said it would be an apology within an apology within an apology. Robin said she didn't expect that from Benjy. She just wanted this to go away.
Howard said Robin seems to be very evolved. He said he likes the new Robin. He said having her around is nice. Howard asked Fred if he likes the new Robin. Fred said if she's happier then he likes the new Robin. Howard asked if she is happier. Robin said she's doing fine. Howard said it seems like something new is evolving there.
Fred said they're cooking from Robin's cook book. Howard asked if Fred is or his wife is. Fred said he's more of the chef of the family. He said he thinks his wife would agree.
Howard asked Benjy how he feels about that. Benjy said that he loves cooking. Howard said that's obvious. He said he's expanding.
Howard asked if everyone is happy about the Benjy and Fred fight. No one was talking. Howard said he'll move on then.
Howard said that Lorde is only 16 years old. He said that she's the youngest solo artist since Tiffany to reach number 1. Howard said he's so good at that countdown stuff. He said he was great in that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it bothers him that Benjy immediately gets into the shtick coma and doesn't try to get anywhere. Howard said it was weird that he was yelling and screaming. Benjy said he doesn't get to talk that much so he explodes when he does. Fred said he thinks Benjy indulges too much when he does that. Howard said that was some explosion. Benjy said that they can all explode. Fred said it's usually in a mall with a rifle.
Howard said he was reading about a guy who was running around a college campus with a sword and a gun so they locked it down. It turns out he was in a Halloween costume. Howard said that once you're in college you shouldn't be wearing a costume. He said that stuff is for kids. Howard said you're a grown man and you don't walk around with a sword. Howard said when you're 7 we get it. He said you have to use your head when you dress up. He said this kid got the whole college campus locked down. He was 21 years old and a senior at college. Howard said he doesn't want to see a 38 year old running around as an astronaut. Howard said one of the kids at the college called his parents and thought there could be a shooter there.
Howard asked Gary if the guy is still in jail. Gary said he was released on a $1,000 bond. Howard said he calls this Ass-o-ween because there are so many assholes walking around. He said it's like they can't stop their assholiness.
Howard said there's a guy in the NFL who is harassing people and bullying them. Howard said they haze people in the NFL and this guy demanded that someone buy him a jet ski. Howard said it's a weird thing. Howard said they were really bulling this one guy.
Robin said she finds it funny that we call people bullies but everyone has been bullied and everyone bullies at some point in their life.
Howard said Gary contradicted himself in a sentence where he said that he has people type for him and then said he doesn't have anyone type for him. Howard said he talks so fast he just doesn't know what he's saying. Howard said he loves Gary but if he slowed down a little he'd be even better. Howard said he likes to get stuff off the plate too quick. Gary said he agrees with that to some degree.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he wanted to get in on the bet that Jon Hein has about the Avicii song going to number one. Howard mentioned earlier that Jon bet Ross that the song would not go to number one. Ralph said he thinks that it will go to number one. Howard said he has to hear that song again. Howard said Jon says the song will not be number 1. Jon said that Ross came to the office one day saying it would be number 1. He said he bet Ross 7 weeks ago saying it would not be number 1. He said it's at number 4 now. Jon said that the song has been at number 4 for a while and the 3 above it aren't going anywhere. Gary said those songs are ready to let a song go in front of it. Jon said he'd take Gary's bet too. Gary said he's not that invested in Avicii. Ralph said he actually bought the song. Howard said he thinks it sounds kind of country. Howard didn't like it. Ralph told him to run to it and it's great. Howard said he still runs to Mississippi Queen. Howard said he's not loving it at all.
Howard asked who sings the song. Ralph said Steve Brandano knows. Howard read a note about who the singer was. Howard said it's something like ''Aloe Beotch.'' Howard said the song has that door slamming sound to it. Fred played the door slamming sound that he plays to songs like that. He had Ralph and Robin laughing. Howard said he doesn't love it. Ralph said it's going to number 1 so get used to it.
Howard said the song is making him mental. He said this Avicii guy doesn't even sing. He's a DJ. Gary said there are two kinds of DJs. He said there are the kind that go to perform at clubs and the type that make songs like this. They're all making good money though.
Gary said they had a clip a couple of weeks ago and they had this DJ guy who was acting all crazy and dancing to the music and acting like he was controlling the whole thing. Then they zoom in and the stuff isn't even plugged in.
Howard said he thinks he has a fart saved up. He let one go and it was kind of weak. Gary said he stood up like he was going to shit his pants. Howard asked for a replay on that.
Ralph said he had to fart in the elevator with Sal and Richard the other day. He said that he farted and then Sal let one out and then Richard did too. He said about 5 floors down someone got in the elevator. He said it was funny. Howard said whenever he gets in an elevator he wants to fart. Gary said his son Lucas does the same thing. He said when you do that it's called the Cincinnati surprise.
Howard said you have to watch Yoko's new video ''Bad Singer'' he said it was actually ''Bad Dancer'' not singer. He said he slipped with that. Howard wondered who puts the money up for that stuff. Gary said a few years ago she had a dance hit. Robin said that was an old song of her's that someone remixed.
Howard said he read that Justin Bieber is going out and getting whores. He said he doesn't get that. He said he should be hiring high priced escorts at least.
Howard said he had another fart ready. He tried to let it out but it wasn't happening. He said if he had shit his pants it would be the best ever. Howard said he feels like an AGT contestant that just bombed. Robin said that reminded her of that Bad Grandpa scene where he shits on the wall in the restaurant. Howard said that scene was worth the price of admission alone. Ralph asked if the movie was good. Howard said he was giggling. Robin said there are some big belly laughs in that movie.
Howard asked Robin if she's ever gone to a strip club where women watch men. Robin said she was dragged to one once but she doesn't like that. She has friends who do.
Howard said they had that guy The Beast in yesterday. He said he's 6'7'' tall and he made Jon Hein look like Mini-Me.
Howard said this woman had a stroke an it left her with a case of face blindness where she can't recognize anyone. She can't recognize her family, friends or even herself. Howard said he would give that up if he didn't have to recognize himself.
Howard said David Beckham dressed up as David Beckham for Halloween. Howard said they say that people dress up like the things they fantasize about. He said David must do that about himself. Howard said he saw Beckham at a hotel in Los Angeles once and he really is a good looking dude. Howard said he told Beth about him and she knew it was David Beckham. Howard said the guy was carrying on like a woman around the pool. Robin said he was born looking like that. Robin said they had a billboard of him in Times Square and she thought it was going to cause accidents. Howard said he'd love to look like that. He said just getting dressed in the morning would be fun. He said he'd be a monster if he looked like that.
Howard had the replay of his fart. He played it a few times and Fred said he should put it in the Avicii song. Howard said he thinks he can do that. Howard played the song and worked in the fart. Howard said this is kind of fun. He had the fart playing over the song. He said his button wasn't fast enough to double time it.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he's so obsessed with Katy Perry's CD. He said he can't take it out. Howard said she's a white girl too. King said that every song is better than the next. king told him to book her for the birthday bash. King asked if he can come. Gary said no way. King asked if he's serious. Gary said they don't have any guests booked yet. Howard said he's not going to say how many seats they have yet. He said that they will be live on that Friday night and it's going to be a very special night. Howard said it's better than Jingle Ball.
Robin started her news with a story about India launching an unmanned space craft to Mars. Howard said they can't even feed their people. Howard said that's insane. He threw in his fart sound. Howard said that's how they fart in India. He said they don't have enough gas to get in a good one. Robin said the spacecraft will take 10-11 months to get to Mars. Howard said it's amazing when any other country can do something like that. He said it's hard to believe.
Robin read about how researchers think there could be billions of planets the size of earth in the Milky Way galaxy. Howard said if we did find a planet like ours we'd just go there and fuck it up.
Robin read about online dating site users and how they are more open to dating other races. Howard said that's pretty obvious. He said if you're willing to date someone online then you'll date just about anyone.
Howard took a call from a guy who said ''Peace and love'' to him and got him going with the Ringo Starr thing again. Howard played the clip of Ringo doing his peace and love speech again. The caller said he thinks Howard is his voice of reason. He said he was having a conversation about the test people can take to find out if your child is going to have Down syndrome. Howard asked what he's talking about. The caller was referring to Amniocentesis. Howard said he's really not making sense though. The caller said he wanted to know what Howard would do if he was in that situation. Howard said this guy is ponderous. Howard said he could have asked that question so much quicker. He just wanted to know what Howard would do if he found out his kid might have Down Syndrome. Howard said he crushed that fucking question. Howard said he'd have an abortion. He said it's fine if you're fine with it but he does not want to have a kid that's going to be a kid the rest of its life. Howard said the whole part of being a parent is helping a kid be productive in life. The caller said that kid who played Corky was productive. Howard said with his luck he'd end up with a kid who sits around playing video games all day. Howard said he says that with peace and love. He said that he would abort a lot of babies if they had tests for everything. Howard said if they had a test that showed that the kid with Down Syndrome would be like Corky then he'd keep it. Howard said the feels bad for the child. He said there's tremendous suffering. Robin said maybe there isn't. Howard told her to stop it. Howard asked if she would keep the baby. Robin said no. She said she'd be the one suffering.
Robin said these shootings keep happening and they really need tests for that. Howard said you'd love to have tests to see if someone would be a pedophile. Howard said he wouldn't want a kid with bad teeth. He went into a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Beth was asked if she would keep a kid with Down Syndrome and she said she would keep it. Howard said maybe he'd change his mind. He said he might name the kid Wendy.
Robin read about how Sears and K-Mart will be open on Thanksgiving day. Robin said Walmart has been doing this for years. Robin said that they announced that they will offer Black Friday deals on that Thursday. Robin said that she can't imagine working on those days. Howard said he likes having that day off. He said he thinks that everyone should have it off. Robin said K-Mart is going to be open from 6am on Thanksgiving day. Sears will be open at 8pm on Thanksgiving day. Robin said K-Mart will remain open for 41 hours.
Robin said they were talking about Richard Christy's drinking and the kind of trouble people get in. Howard said they got a lot of email about Richard's drinking and how they should have him tested for liver enzymes. He said that he thinks the people are right when they say he's heading to liver disease. Howard read some of those emails about Richard.
Howard said he had a clip of someone at a Black Friday event where he's yelling at the employees to open the doors. Howard said he's not going to rush out into that.
Robin said there was a story about some drunk guys going out and stealing a Llama after getting drunk. Robin said they brought it on a train and all kinds of things. Robin said that it could have been a disaster.
Howard said Richard says that he had his liver tested and he's healthy. Howard asked what test he had. Richard came in and said he was tested by an actual doctor. He said he had his cholesterol tested. He said he had his liver checked and the doctor said that he's fine. Robin asked what he will do when his liver isn't fine. Richard said he'll get on a waiting list for a new liver. He said that it might knock some sense into him if he does have a problem. Robin said that's like driving a car at 500 miles per hour until you crash. Richard said life is short and you have to have fun.
Robin read about a kid who fell between a building and a garage and got stuck there for like 36 hours. Robin said that no one knew where he was. Robin said they say that think he went up to the roof to get his phone which was thrown up there. Robin said that the police went up and found the phone and then found the kid stuck. Howard said that he could have died there. Robin said this was an NYU student.
Robin said that Jimmy Kimmel an Oprah are continuing their friendship. Howard said he thinks Jimmy is afraid to talk to him about that. He said that maybe Jimmy will bring her to the birthday show. Howard said he doesn't think he even brings his name up around her. He said that could upset her.
Howard said he knew Jimmy before Oprah would even talk to him. He said those were the good ol' days. He said that he's going to send Oprah a tape of Jimmy on The Man Show. Howard said he thinks that jimmy actually finds it funny that he's friends with Oprah. He said he might see the irony in it.
Robin read about how a vote will be held today about whether or not the name of the Washington Redskins will change their name. Howard said you'd think they would have changed it already. Howard said American Indians get no respect. Howard went into a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about a gay bill of rights that could be passed. Robin read the details of that bill. Robin said that it says that you can't discriminate against someone over their sexual orientation.
Robin read about today being election day. Robin had some details about some of the voting that will be happening today. She had some audio of some people talking about that. Howard said he hopes no one votes today. He said he just wants the polling places to be empty.
Robin read about the kid who shot up the airport in Los Angeles. Robin said he was a conspiracy theorist and he was concerned about the New World Order and also talked about the NSA surveillance of people and things like that. Robin said he also didn't like TSA agents so that's why he went to the airport and shot up the place. Robin said one of the people who was shot is speaking out. Robin had audio of one of the guys who was shot twice. Robin said that he had to use a cane to get to the microphone.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was all charged up over the birthday show. Mariann said everyone is emailing her about it. She said she's telling everyone to go to Howard's web site and the SiriusXM web site. Howard said they actually buried all of the tickets in her backyard. Howard hung up on her in the middle of a scream. Howard said Mariann is all hopped up. He said he made that announcement 4 hours ago.
Robin read about a man who shot up a shopping mall last night in New Jersey. Robin said that the guy shot himself after shooting up the mall. Howard said he's getting to the point where he thinks they should take away all guns.
Robin read about how starfish on the west coast are dying of a strange disease that causes them to turn to mush. Howard said that's like The Walking Dead. Robin said that's the flu though. Robin said she was watching Talking Dead and they were talking about the scene where the guy had a bag he wouldn't let go of. She said it had a bottle of alcohol in it. That led to Howard playing the commercial parody they did where Robin spoiled something.
Robin read more about the starfish and how they think that warmer water from global warming could be part of the reason for the starfish dying.
Robin mentioned a Jimi Hendrix documentary that's on tonight on PBS. Howard said he won't watch. He said PBS can make anything boring. He said even Jimi Hendrix will be boring on PBS.
Robin read about a guy who was killed when part of a tree fell on him. Robin had some audio of the guy's brother talking about how at least his brother didn't have to get old and go through old age. He said he did live a full life.
Robin said that Billy Corgan may be buying TNA wrestling. Howard said he thought Eric was going to buy that. Fred did his Eric the Actor impression and talked to Howard about that. Robin said they say that Corgan may have a backer to help with the financing. Howard said Billy is a genius with his music. He said his album Oceania is great. Howard said you know the music industry is shit when Billy Corgan gets into wrestling.
Robin said Yoko Ono has anew song out. Robin said she's calling her new video a comedy. Howard said she looks good for an 80 year old. Howard said when you have all of John Lennon's music you can just go to spas all day. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:05am.
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Jon said it was perfect to have Mariann on the phone to make that announcement. Gary said Howard couldn't even get through the announcement. Jon said she's a great fan. Jon asked who hit him up for tickets first. Gary said King of All Blacks did. High Pitch Eric and Joey Boots hit him up too. He said some old clients of the show and other people like that have hit him up too.
Jon asked Gary if it becomes more real now that Howard has announced it. Gary said it has. He said that's going to be the hottest ticket of the weekend. He said that everyone is going to want to be there. Gary said that Jimmy Kimmel is going to host and he asked him to do it when he was out in L.A. and Jimmy cut him off before he was even done with the pitch and said he'd be there. Gary said that makes it even easier for people to say yes to come.
Gary said that Robin is in the loop because the birthday show thing started with them. Gary said that it was Robin's vision to do something special for Howard back in the day. Jon said this is going to be a tribute to Howard in a way. Gary said Jimmy is hosting the show so there will be a lot of things going on. He said he'll be the ring leader. Gary said he has some guests lined up and landed but he won't talk about them. He said he wants to keep that a secret.
Gary said that the people at Sirius are going over every aspect of the show. He said he never had that at K-Rock. He said that they've taken a lot of work off of him and he can concentrate on guests. Jon said he's guessing more information will come over the next couple of months. Gary said they have a crew there who have never seen a birthday show. He said that Will, Jason, Steve and Jon have never seen one. Gary said it will be a boat load of fun and a lot of work at the same time.
Steve Brandano said he doesn't think this is going to last. He said he has to chancel twitter or this won't work. Gary said he thinks Eric should ditch Twitter and move to Instagram.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they're going to have a lot of fans or are they going to give tickets to the people they know. Gary said a large percentage of the tickets will go to the fans. Jon said the show will be broadcast live too so you won't miss the show.
Jon said he wanted to talk about the news team coming in today. He asked Gary if he could sit with Lisa all day like Jon does. Gary said he thinks he could do that. He said that they're practically in a closet in there so it's kind of funny. They don't have much of a choice in there. Jon said there's someone like Lisa in just about every office. Gary said he agrees. Jon said he knows that Jon gets frustrated but he doesn't have a choice. Gary said they're as opposite as opposite can be. He said Jon does hard news and Lisa is like the gossip person. Jon said that you have to respect the workspace though.
Jason came in and said he thought it was interesting because the news room is tiny. He said he's not sure how he'd handle it with someone being in his ear all day. Jason said that's what stood out most about that segment. Gary said their office isn't that big. He said that he and Jason are in each other's ear all day and they don't bother each other. Jason said Lisa seems to talk out loud to no one. He said that sometimes he goes home just to work so he doesn't have anyone around him.
Leiberman came in and said that it's the hour of the morning that's tough too. He said she starts at 5 in the morning. Jason said Lisa used to come in and talk about the color of the sky. He said Will almost punched her over that.
Jon said that Lisa was saying she doesn't care that she's saying these things. He said he finds that kind of disrespectful. Gary said she's like those people on Twitter who have 72,000 tweets and 2 followers.
Leiberman said that he doesn't think Lisa can stop. He said maybe it's an illness or something. He said he's done everything that he can do to stop her by showing he has no interest but she just won't stop. He said he's not sure he can even blame her anymore. Leiberman said she has no one to talk to at home.
Jason said he goes home and his wife talks non stop to him. He said that she has no one to talk to at work so she does it at home. Jason said he's not sure how Leiberman got stuck next to Lisa. Leiberman said he's not sure. He said that she does this all day long. He said she mutters and doesn't get it out of her system. He said that she'll mutter all the time. He said he's not sure what to think. Leiberman said he thinks that she talks to her cats but she may not get the same joy out of that as she does in the news room.
Jon asked how Leiberman handles it in the news room. Leiberman said she'll read the most mundane sentence from the NY Post and expect a reaction. He said he doesn't respond and she just keeps doing it. Gary said he wonders if this has been going on everywhere she's worked. Jason said he'd like to find out from people she's worked with before. Leiberman said he'd love to look into that. He said he'd like to find out if the people go crazy if she has done this at other work places. He said he's worried about what will happen in 5 years from now after all of this. They had to take a break after that.
Jon asked Benjy why he reacted that way. Benjy said that he was angry and that was just his emotions coming out. He said he thought he was going out of his way to point that out. He said he feels that Fred is condescending to him and it irritates him. Gary said he knows Benjy has said that a lot about Robin, Fred and him. He asked if he thinks that everyone there is condescending. Benjy said it seems to be the way things are around there. Gary asked what it is that triggers it with him. Benjy said that Richard isn't like that. He said some people are more direct and they can be more mean. He said Richard seems to be coming out of a good place. He said JD is pretty direct. He said he doesn't think he means to be condescending.
Jason said this is the way Benjy fights now. He said years ago he was fighting with Tracey and he was barking at her. He said this is just what he's doing now. Benjy said this isn't thought out. He said he'd be more proud if it was thought out. Benjy said he has control over himself and he won't break into a physical fight or anything. He said he didn't think it out at the moment.
Benjy said he regrets going off. He said that he'd prefer to be in control. He said he didn't say anything that he feels devastated or sad about.
Jon asked Gary if he was hurt that he was third on the list there. Gary said he wasn't. He said he was happy to have made the list. Gary said Howard knows what he's doing and there's no way not to hurt someone's feelings there. Jon said Jason was screaming in the back about not being on the list. Jason said he thought that he was going to be on it. He said by the time it got down to Scott and Ronnie he couldn't believe it. He said he and Fred talk all the time so he was shocked. He said he gets it though. He said if Fred wants to party with Scott Salem then knock yourself out.
Benjy said that he'd like to talk it out with Fred. He said that he doesn't like people going out of their way to hurt someone. He said he hates that. Gary said maybe he should go work for Ellen then. Benjy said he thinks teasing is fun but sometimes he doesn't like it when it's mean.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Fred was trying to be entertaining. He said Benjy was too. He said he thinks that it was no big deal. Gary said the opposite of what Benjy just said. He wasn't trying to be entertaining. Gary said he was entertained but he doesn't think he was trying to be entertaining.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it's funny to listen to Benjy. He said that it's like he's taking it out on people who weren't on his side when he was coming in late often. Benjy said he thinks that he senses condescending people. Gary said Benjy can be kind of difficult to talk to and he wonders if that's what he considers condescending. Benjy said it's the way he says it. He said the Benjy Vortex thing is one of those times.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been listening to Howard since WNBC and this is the first time he's called. He said he finds Benjy and his antics so annoying. He said he doesn't listen to the Wrap Up Show so he doesn't have to hear his voice. He said the show is a comedy show and people get picked on. He said it's all in good fun. He said they're not demonize on purpose.
Benjy asked if Scott Salem is made into a villain. The caller said he is but it's all in good fun. He said if he had an employee that came to work late all the time and caused what Benjy has caused he wouldn't work there. Benjy asked what kind of work he does. The caller said it doesn't matter what he does. He said he has no idea why Howard keeps him there. Jason said that he's only basing that on what he hears on the air. He said that he thinks if the guy worked there he'd definitely hire Benjy.
Gary said that he doesn't relish the name Baba Bad News. He said that he controls the speaker in his office and he relays a lot of messages through that speaker. He said it looks like he's the asshole there every day but that's not the case. They had to go to break a short time later.
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Jon said he thinks Howard likes doing the show most of the time. Gary said Howard isn't running the show but he still thinks Howard feels it's his responsibility to carry the show.
The guys got back to talking about the news team and how they have to share that tiny space with 6 people. Jon said they have a small office too. It's not quite as small as the news team. Gary said they had the idea of doing cubicles. Jason said that was an awful idea. He said he was there for when they took them down.
Gary said they had some interns that didn't like each other and the one intern went off on another intern. He said she was right around the corner and heard that. He said he saved that story for the intern beauty pageant and threw a match on the fire that day.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Lisa G can't shut up if she has so much to say. He said that if she's alone then she can't get all of that stuff out. Jason said his wife talks a lot and he'll ask for like 20 minutes of silence. He said then she'll start in with the lamp in the living room. He said that he says he'll get back to the conversation later on but he needs some time.
Jason said he'll sit in silence on his way home but sometimes it's just not enough. Gary said his son Lucas will have something he's dying to tell him but he needs time to put his bag down and take a leak.
Gary said they had a big issue with his son talking to him through the door while he's taking a dump. He said he had to tell him that it's his time an he has to let him come out of there. He said he's stopped with that now but it used to be a problem.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Lisa G was so happy about the birthday show. He said that they should make her wear her news outfit to the birthday show. Jon said there's a good chance she'd be working the event. He said maybe she could do that. Jon said they'll see what happens.
Gary asked Jon Leiberman what he'd wear. Leiberman said that he'd wear something nice and he'd prefer a tux over the mustard color jacket.
Gary said they only have that color because they found a jacket laying around there and someone drew a logo on it. Leiberman said that his doesn't even fit. He said he has to wear Langford's old stuff.
Jon asked Leiberman what they have coming up in the news today. Leiberman ran down a list of things that they were going to have on Howard 100 News today.
Leiberman mentioned something about a citation that Jon Hein got. He said they'll treat it very fairly. Jason said that fairly means that Leiberman was rooting around on Jon's desk when he was looking for the citation. Leiberman said that his source told him that it was on his desk. He said it turned out that it wasn't that big of a deal. He said they'll reveal that today on the news. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:00am.
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Fred was playing Howard's fart from yesterday's show as they started. Howard started the show talking about Benedict Arnold. Howard said that's because Lisa G is trying to figure out what he'll start the show talking about and there's no way she got that right.
Howard said John Stamos will be coming in today. He said he has a lot of other things to get to today too. He took a call from a guy and did his Riley Martin impression as he did it. Fred played some Riley audio clips along with that. Howard said what Riley was saying is congratulations to Governor Christie in New Jersey and Mayor DeBlasio there in New York. Howard said he's worried about the city because Bloomberg was such a great mayor. Howard said he should be getting a parade today. He said that he has been great and so has Ray Kelly. He said the murder rate has dropped down from the thousands to like 400. He said he's not sure why they want to reject the politics from the past 4 years. He said he'd blow someone to keep Bloomberg. He said he'd actually only blow Fred.
Howard said he wishes DeBlasio luck with the city. He said he hopes he doesn't fuck things up. Robin said that he's the first democratic mayor in 24 years and Howard said he was going to win automatically yesterday. Howard said he realized he was wrong about that.
The caller said that he saw a picture of Beth and Whitney Cummings at a Knicks game. He said he saw Whitney licking some guy's face. He said she must be fun. Howard said he had a tough day yesterday. He said that Beth told him they were going out but he didn't know they were going to a gam. He said he was kind of jealous when he heard that. He said someone has to pay the bills though. He said the sucker always pays. He said Robin knows what that means. Robin said she's not sure that she does.
Howard said what his father meant was that he'd come home at like 7 and he'd go to work at 5. He had bills to pay and shit to do. Robin said he set up his own life. Howard said not really. He said he doesn't think he had any other options. Howard said his dad didn't have many choices. Robin said he chose to be a father and a husband. Howard said he still said ''Sucker pays.'' Howard said he got the biggest piece of chicken when he came home though. He said he didn't have the options that John Stamos had.
Howard said he was busy on the phone in meetings. He said he's trying to figure out what to do about AGT. He said the schedule is grueling at times. He said he was woozy trying to figure it out. He said Beth told him she was off to the game when he was going through all of that. Howard said he's the guy not having fun. Robin said he's been to the Knick games though. Howard said he has. He said he's really not having a lot of fun.
The caller said that people think he's a big partier. Howard said he's such a misery. He said he left the shrink's office and he said ''Why, why, why...'' and the shrink said ''...because we're out of time.'' Howard said he wants to know why he's such a misery.
The caller told Howard about Whitney licking some guy's face and he wasn't sure who it was. He said she looked like she was having a good time last night. Howard said they went out to dinner after that game. He said he went to bed. Howard said he thinks he has frequent urination lately. He said it might be psychological. He said he was up at like 10:30 and Beth still wasn't home. He said he wasn't going to pee again. He said he just went to bed. He said this is what he does all night. He said he's fighting with his urine. He said it's like his body is at battle with him.
Howard said he stuck his head out asking of Beth was home. She wasn't there. He said he's battling his urine while Beth is out. He said it's probably good she wasn't home. He said he'd be yelling and screaming to her if she was home.
Howard said he had to make a doody yesterday and he wanted to wait for Beth to leave. He said he didn't want to be caught. He said she left and he stood up and thought that he'd play with that for a while. He said there is no deep thought in his head. He said he got in the toilet and started talking. Howard said the toilet is the worst. He said they put water saving toilets in and they're the worst. Howard said he takes a dump and it takes like 50 flushes. Howard said his doodies aren't that huge either.
Howard said he starts talking like he's in Boardwalk Empire. He said he does this thing where he talks like someone in the show. He said he realizes that if Beth heard that she'd leave him. He said he doesn't even know what that is. He said he pretends to be Dr. Narcisse in the show. He said he's not even sure what he's doing.
Howard said he had a light dinner yesterday. He said he has conversations with himself about his movement. He said it's insane and not normal. He said this is what goes on though. He said that's his night. Howard said he puts the TV on to drown out his thoughts. Howard said he lays down in the bed and puts on his TV.
Howard said he saw the picture of Beth with Whitney but not the one of Whitney licking someone's face. He said that she might think that they're having too much fun if he sees that. Howard said he was glad that Beth was out having fun. He said he's such a misery when he's working. He said he's just fucking miserable. Howard said he calls his accountant every day and asks if he can get out of the business.
The caller said Howard has done so good. He said he has to re-sign with AGT because they found someone like Kenichi Ebina. Howard said that's the reason to re-sign.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that Beth is going out too much. He said she should go out like once a month. King said she should have gone out with a married woman. Howard said maybe he's right about that. King said of course he's right. Howard said he's happy when his wife is happy. King laughed. Howard said unlike King he's not insecure. Howard said he has fucked some of the most beautiful women on the planet. Howard said if he's not good enough for Beth and there's a better guy out there for her, he wants her to have him. Howard said he can go out and find another woman in 10 minutes. Robin said what King is saying isn't right. She said that he's monitoring his wife. King said it's like they want to sabotage your relationship. Howard said let them. He said if there's a woman out there who can do that then let them do it.
King asked Howard if Beth did find someone would he do the same mistake again. Howard said it's not a mistake. He said that it's wrong to try and control someone. Howard said Beth went out and had some fun with Whitney. Howard said he's not going to sit and play games with his wife. He said it doesn't bother him that she does these things. He said he's happy she went out and had fun. Robin said they say that successful relationships are the ones where both people have a life. King laughed again.
Howard said he loves King's phone connection. Robin said only Captain Janks has a worse connection. Howard said King loves being on the air but his phone is so bad he can't understand him. Howard asked if he ever listens back to his calls. King said he does but now he lives upstate with his father. King said he moved into his family's house with his wife and kids. Howard asked what that has to do with his phone. King said he's driving from upstate. Howard said it's just as bad as when he lived in Jersey. King said it was good yesterday. Howard said not really.
Howard asked if he has a flip phone. King said ''Come on Howard.'' Howard said he's doing something. King said he's talking very clear. He said he's in his sister's Lexus truck and he's on the phone. He said his mouth is to the phone. Howard said maybe it's just his voice. Howard and Fred did their impressions of King's awful sound and said that's what they do every time he calls in now.
Howard said they don't understand what King is saying. He said he has to work on that connection. He said he can't take it. Howard said he wants to talk to him but he can't. He said he just said something that he didn't understand. Howard did an impression of that again and asked what that is. He said it's crazy.
Howard said they have so much excitement about the birthday show. He said they announced that yesterday. He said that will happen on January 31st. He said they'll announce when the tickets will be available. Howard said they might sleep through the whole thing. Howard said they'll have broccoli and asparagus for everyone since Robin will be in charge of the food.
Howard said he was reading about Anne Hathaway in the news. He said some publicist sent out a letter about her. He said he got this off the internet and he's not sure if it's real. Howard said this is an email that alleges that Anne was going to attend a fund raiser. Howard said that the publicist asked people not to take her picture. They're concerned that people will approach her. Howard read about how they're trying to respect her space. Howard said he's going to hire this publicist. Howard said this is great. Howard said she says that no bloggers can talk to Anne. Howard said they say that she is happy to talk and share about cancer research but no photos or autographs. Howard said they ask that no one goes into the lounge.
Howard said he has to get that going. Howard said when he walks into a place he has people all over him. He asked who the fuck Anne Hathaway thinks she is. Howard said he wants that. He said if it's real he wants the same thing. Gary said that they say that Anne is denying it. Howard said this is supposed to be from a publicist and not Anne. They had to go to break after that.
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Howard came back and said this is a perfect song to play in the morning. He said he thinks that he's talking about him in that song. Howard said David Arquette is going to be a new dad. He got his girlfriend pregnant. Robin said maybe he was celebrating when he called in. Howard said it would have been nice if he had told them that when he called in. Howard said now he's remembering something. He said he was talking to David and he said that Coco was his first child. He said that he did ask if that was his hint. Howard said David let it go and didn't say anything. He said that he let it go because he was drunk.
Howard said this song is fantastic. He said he must have told them in his own way. Howard wondered if it was intentional. Robin said she has no idea. Howard said David was making out with Robin and then he got his girlfriend pregnant.
Howard said he liked that song Gangnam Style. He said he bought the song on iTunes. He said that he just wanted to have it. Howard said he had it and then one day he put it in his workout stuff. He said he realized he was fast forwarding through it. He said he realized he hates Psy and that song. Robin said she used to sing the song every day. She said she stopped doing that finally. Howard said he hates to say that someone has shitty music but he's over that. Fred played the song along with Howard's fart from yesterday's show.
Howard said that he has a lot of feedback about his fart from yesterday. He said someone asked what was up with that. He said it didn't have a lot of power behind it. Howard said some people thought it was cool. Some like it when it's mixed with music. Howard played the fart alone too. Howard said this is Metallica's ''One'' mixed with the fart. Robin said it sounds more powerful with that. Howard said it goes with the Chicken Dance too. He played that mix next.
Howard said his parents must have hated him to send him there. Howard said most parents want their kids to be safe. The caller said that it was from 1975 to 1981 or so. Howard said that's like going to hell.
Howard said someone asked him to take his fart and mix it with Gary Glitter's Rock and Roll. Howard said they did that. He played the song where they had mixed it in. Howard said that's his favorite.
Howard said David Arquette's girlfriend is pregnant so congratulations to them. Howard said Sal was doing ''research'' for his job and he found some classifieds that are interesting. Howard said he found one where a guy offered to trade a Macbook Pro for sex.
Howard said there's another one where the guy asks for diaper play. Howard said this guy is looking for someone to soil their diaper while he takes pictures. Howard said the guy says he's discrete and sophisticated. Howard said that it's nice that when worse comes to worst that you can just soil a diaper for a guy to make some money. Howard said that you have to pee and shit your diaper for the guy. He said he must have his own diapers to give to the women.
Howard asked Robin if she would do that if she was doing bad. Robin said she can't imagine being that low. Howard said guys don't have those options. He said that if you're gay you can do stuff for guys. Robin said that Howard could do it. Howard said he could shit his panties. Robin said that he does have the option. Howard said gay guys have the option for what guys look like. Robin and Howard went over how bad something like that would be.
Howard read another ad where the guy was asking to meet some fat guys and sticking his tongue in many hidden places. Howard said the guy mentioned a video store. He wondered if they even exist anymore. Robin said that adult video stores do.
Howard read another one where the guy was saying that he's looking for women who liked when Daddy would come home and want to act something out with him.
Howard read another ad where the guy was looking for a younger woman to act out a fantasy with him. Howard played the Ham Hands Bill clip where he's talking to Robin as her dad.
Howard read another ad where the guy was looking for big labia. Howard said he's looking for an attractive female with large labia minora. Howard said that's the inner lips. Howard said he doesn't even want to know. Robin said that it's majora and minora.
Howard said the guy was asking for a description of the labia so he knows the person is real. Howard said that everyone wants to know that someone is real. He said that can't be more repulsive with the labia description. Howard said that Robin would be out the door so fast with that. Howard said he wonders what girls do with ads like that. Howard said they should have a labia contest there. He said it's just so weird. Howard said he doesn't even look at Beth that closely to know what she has. Howard said he doesn't want to get that into it. He said he won't even look. He wondered if Sarah Silverman has big ones. Robin asked why he'd bring her name up. Howard said he doesn't know.
Howard read another ad where the guy was talking about how he has a great tongue that he wants to lick someone clean with. Howard said he's glad he's kind of normal sexually. He said it would be funny if you found out that he had been placing ads like this for years.
Howard said he'd like to know how someone gets that damaged. He said Benjy must do that. Benjy said he has a girlfriend now. Howard said he used to do that. Benjy said he likes looking at her whole body. Howard said he doesn't know why he went there with him. Fred played the ''Into the Benjy Vortex'' clip. Howard said he just wanted to know if he studies the vagina. He said it's so weird there. He said that it's really weird. He said he wants to know if he's that fucked up. Benjy said that he found it to be disrespectful to talk about his girlfriend. Howard said he was just asking him about looking at a chick's vagina. Howard said he's talking about it now. Howard said he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Fred said he feels for him. He said he saw what he was going for. Howard said he thought Fred was kind of rough on Benjy yesterday but now he's not sure. He said it's so hard to talk to Benjy.
Howard said he got a lot of email about Benjy yesterday. Benjy got into it with Fred again. Fred said he goes for personal stuff. Fred said he starts name calling. Benjy said Fred is a little bitch. He said he's the little bitch of the show. Benjy said that little laugh he does is him being uncomfortable. Fred said he doesn't really care.
Howard asked if they're done. Fred said he's done. Howard said he's out of show and he's been out for 45 minutes.
Fred said he's really pissed off at him for interrupting his segment yesterday. Benjy said that Howard looked at him for a response. Fred said he interrupted him. Benjy said that now Fred is interrupting his segment. He said Howard controls the mics and he looked at him for a response. Howard said he addressed Fred though. Benjy said he doesn't give a fuck. Fred asked if he doesn't give a fuck about him or about what Howard said.
Howard said Benjy got a lot of email yesterday. He read some of the email he got about him and people were complaining about him bringing the show down. Howard said they say he's a dick and he brings the show down. Benjy talked about how homophobic Fred is. Fred said he's grasping now. Benjy asked him if he was homophobic. Howard just got back to the email.
Howard went through more of the mail and people were asking them to stop bullying Benjy. Howard said there's a whole Fred and Benjy controversy going on.
Fred said he heard that Benjy was talking about him on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Gary said he gets so frustrated with him. He said that Howard asks a simple question. He said that he could have answered Howard so simply about the labia thing. Howard said he just wanted to know if he looks close. He said Benjy was in a place where he was saying that he's being disrespectful. Benjy said he finds it disrespectful if he did it himself.
Howard said Benjy is the new respectful guy all of a sudden. Fred said that he's so respectful that he calls people names.
Howard said that he has some theme music for Benjy now. He played a song that had his weird noises in it. It was similar to the ''Wonderful Fred'' theme song. Fred said that was from the morning that he wasn't able to give Howard a straight answer. He made those noises.
Benjy asked Fred where this anger comes from. Fred said that's just his opinion. He said he's not angry. Benjy asked if he hates himself. Howard said he's no angrier than anyone else. Howard said that he's angry too. Benjy told Fred to take it out on people who anger him.
Fred asked what Benjy's address is again. Benjy asked what's up with that. Howard said he's joking around. Fred said he was trying to joke with him yesterday and that's what set him off then.
Howard asked if they'd like to do an hour of couple's therapy. Fred said he has too much to do. He said yesterday he was in a writer's meeting doing work while Benjy was on Wrap Up. He said that is the job of Jon Hein and Gary Dell'Abate. Benjy asked if he wasn't doing his work. Benjy said he was doing work all day yesterday. Fred asked if he was doing work when he was bashing him on Wrap UP. Benjy said he was.
Benjy said Fred has this snide arrogant attitude toward him. He asked what's going on with that. Fred said he didn't realize he thought that about him. Fred said they're learning a lot with this. Howard asked if anyone cares. Fred said no. He said he feels bad for Benjy because he seems to be taking it very hard.
Howard asked Benjy if he had any closing statements he wanted to make. Benjy said there's nothing to close. He said he thinks that Fred is treating him the way he treats other people. Fred said he might be one of the most polite people on the show. Benjy said he treats them disrespectfully. Howard said that Benjy said he was done. Benjy said Fred asked him a question so he wants to respond. Fred had asked if he was special. Benjy said he is special to himself. He said so is Fred to himself.
Benjy said that when someone talks about him he takes it personally. He said in general he thinks that Fred can be mean.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him to get Benjy off the air. He said he just wasted his time listening to 15 minutes of that. He told Howard to just shut Benjy up. Fred said he's not saying he has to shut up. He said he just thinks he has to calm down.
Benjy said that the prevalent thing is that Fred puts him down. Howard asked if he puts him down too. Benjy said on the air he does. He said Fred does it off the air in work situations. Fred said he wasn't aware of that. Fred said he will avoid him like the plague from now on. Howard said it's very cold in the tundra when Fred avoids you.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Benjy must be threatened by Fred's intelligence. Benjy said he loves intelligence and he's not threatened.
Gary asked Benjy how long he's been there. Benjy said it's been since 1998. Gary said he feels this is new stuff. He said he's never heard any of this before. He wondered why it's all surfacing now. Howard said he thinks it's because they ran out of other things to do. Howard said he's willing to help them out if they need help working things out. He said he had to take a break after that. Robin said she's glad she's not in there. Howard went to break a short time later.
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Howard came back and said he's having a big birthday party that they announced yesterday. He wondered who Bruno is singing about in this song. Howard said he's been locked out of Heaven many times.
Howard said they're going to have a great birthday show. He said that's going to be on January 31. He said that they'll repeat it every day for a year after that. He said that's how great it'll be. He said it'll be there in New York and they'll have a lot of VIPs. He said that they'll be honoring him. Howard sang along with the Bruno Mars song some more.
Howard said one person who isn't excited about that party is Riley Martin. He said that he's all upset about the whole thing. He said he thinks that they're keeping him from making a lot of money.
Howard played a clip of Riley talking to a caller about the party and saying that he doesn't know if he'd be able to make it. Howard said that's because he's so busy. Howard said there hasn't been a guy who talks like that since Foghorn Leghorn. He did his impression of Riley and then started the clip over again.
Riley was saying that if he were invited he doesn't know if he'd make it. He said he's not that interested in hob knobbing with people who don't pay him right. The caller said that he should do it for the fans. Riley said he could be persuaded. He said it's not the high point of his yearly druthers. Howard said if he had half a brain he'd think that Howard put him on the radio and no one else is doing that so he'd want to show up and celebrate. Howard said no one has ever recognized him like this. He said he chose Riley to put him on the air and he doesn't even want to show up. Howard said that's why he loves the guy.
Howard said he has Sour shoes doing an impression of Gary clearing his throat. Howard picked up on him and Sour was doing his Gary impression and clearing his throat and talking about Fred. He started to play a song and kept clearing his throat. Howard said you can't control this guy.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked for tickets to the birthday show. Howard said they're not giving them away yet. Tommy said he was reading a book about this guy who was Johnny Carson's lawyer and wrote a book about him.
Howard said that their studio is in a nice corner there. He said he never knows who he's going to run into. He said some days he's in the mood and some he's not. He said one day he was walking out and this kind of slick guy walked by. He said the guy said hello and he just kept going. He said the guy told him he was Johnny Carson's lawyer. Howard said he feels kind of bad for Johnny because this guy wrote a book about him and Johnny isn't around to defend himself. Howard said this guy was known as Bombastic Bushkin. Howard said now the guy is making money off of Johnny's corpse.
Howard said he didn't like Johnny. He said he would put comedian's tits through the ringer on the show. Howard said that he had to give them a nod or a wink to go sit on the couch. Howard said they let every boring actress sit on the couch but the comedian had to perform live in front of him. Howard said this is what AGT is like. He said they tell you if you suck. Howard said that Johnny should have made them sit on the floor or under the desk to blow him.
Howard said that he learned that Johnny was just a prick. He said that he treated his wife like shit. He said he gave her like 13 grand when he divorced her. He said when he read about the guy it was pretty shitty stuff. He said he finds it weird when a guy like this comes out and tells stories about you. He said you don't know what's going on there.
Howard said he was walking out the other day and saw Ralph in the lobby. He said he was surrounded by a bunch of people. He said he went to say hi to Ralph and then there were people coming up to him. He said that he told them to give this stuff they were giving to him to Gary. Howard said that Guillermo del Toro was there and they were trying to introduce him and give him an email address. He said that he was in the middle of a weir scene out there. Howard said he loves some of the movies that he's done. He said he loved Pacific Rim and Hellboy. Robin said he's done a bunch of cool movies. Howard said he draws and he has a coffee table book of the stuff that he has done. Howard said that you never know who you're talking to in the halls there.
Howard said he got a bad rap about walking right past people there. He said he really doesn't see people. He said he's just trying to get out of the building and get home. Howard said Benjy thinks he's being rude. Benjy said he really doesn't.
Tommy told Howard about Bushkin and said that he was on some show talking about how great Johnny was as an entertainer. He said that he must feel bad about the book.
Howard and Fred were doing impressions of Johnny Carson and goofing on him. Gary said Doc Severensen is bashing Bushkin now. He said that he was saying that it was disgusting for him to write about Carson when he only worked for the guy for a short time.
Howard let Tommy go and said that this isn't a good weekend to bang nerds. He said that Call of Duty just came out and the new Thor movie is out.
Howard said Charlie Sheen is in the news again. He's saying that Brooke Mueller isn't treating his kids right and they're going mad. Howard said that he has so much money you'd think he'd figure out a way to stop that stuff.
Howard had some audio of Charlie Sheen talking about how bad the kids are doing and how it must be from being around the drugs and drug dealers. Charlie said that they're in a house filled with creeps and cretins who have no business being around kids. Charlie said that his kids are out of control and they throw stuff at Denise and at the dogs.
JD told Howard that this was one of the TMZ guys in his house doing the interview. He said they're sitting by his pool doing this. Howard said Charlie just has guys over to his house to do this. Howard said when Charlie Sheen tells you that you're out of control then you must be out of control.
Howard wondered what the kids do with their shit when they play with it. Gary said he heard they throw it at other kids. That led to Howard bringing up the time Richard cooked his own shit. Richard came in and told the story about how he shit in a can when he was in a band and he cooked it in an oven. He said it was a blast. He said that it cooked all of the liquid out of it and turned it into pebbles. Howard said he's disgusted with him. He said he's done with him. He said Richard has that dumb smile on his face the whole time he's telling the story. Richard said they could do it on the show sometime. That won't be happening.
Howard said Charlie can go on and on. He said he wouldn't be comfortable sharing this personal stuff on TV. He said Charlie has no problem saying that his kids are out of control. Howard played more audio of Charlie talking about the kids and how out of control they are. He said that they're showing every symptom of fetal alcohol syndrome. Howard said he always has a scene going on. Robin said she feels bad for those kids. She said she's felt bad for them since they were born.
Howard said he thinks John is going to be there soon. He said he should take a break. Howard goofed on Richard about cooking his shit. He did his impression of Richard and talked about that for a short time. Howard said he can't believe he hired him. He said Jimmy Kimmel has a whole writing crew and he has a guy who shits in a can and takes off two days for Halloween. He said sometimes he feels all alone. He said Benjy and Fred are fighting. Fred said he's done with that. He said he's just not fighting.
Fred said that he makes noises when he's thinking. He said that he isn't even aware of it. Fred said there is a noise and it must be a mild form of Tourettes. Howard said maybe it is.
Howard said he has more to get to but he has to take a break. He said he has to talk about the Toronto mayor who had a press conference about his crack smoking. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that the most handsome man is coming in now. Howard said that Robin already came. John Stamos came in and shook everyone's hand. Howard said that no one cares about shaking hands. Howard asked if he lost weight. John said he's fine. John said Howard looks good. Howard said he heard he does pilattes. John said he does. Howard said he thought it was all women. John said that's right. Howard asked why he doesn't lift weights like he does. John said he does that too.
Howard said when you're as good looking as John is he must look at him and say ''poor Howard.'' John said he doesn't think like that. Robin asked what it means to him. Howard said John is very judgmental. John said he thinks that Howard is more handsome now. He said he's keeping his weight down. He said he looks good.
Howard said he thinks that he has a beef with John. He asked if he just had his 50th birthday party. John said yes. Howard said he didn't even invite him. John said it was on a Monday night in L.A. Howard said he didn't even get the chance to say no. Howard said he stays at his house. John said he was thinking about how he could invite him and he would think he was just hitting him up for a gift. Howard said he heard about how they had Tom Jones, Don Rickles and others there. John said that they don't spend a lot of time together these days. Howard said that he wouldn't have sent him a present. He said he would have thought it was a nice thought if he had invited him.
Howard asked John how he got this all recorded. John said he had a video crew. He said he didn't invite anyone from New York to the party. He said he invited Jimmy Kimmel but he wasn't able to make it. Howard said it was weird to him. He said he was at his wedding. John said he knows. John said he didn't invite Jon and Gary who are his friends too. Howard said maybe he's too ugly for that group. John said he knows Howard wouldn't have come. He said he should have sent him an invitation though.
Howard said John is the drummer for the Beach Boys. He said that's a pretty major gig. He asked if he could support himself just doing that. John said that he's not that great at it. He said he has played with Willie Nelson and Bruce Springsteen too. Howard asked what age he was when he started playing. John said he was 8 or 9. He said he plays guitar too but he's not that great. Howard said he's playing for the Beach Boys though. That's pretty amazing.
Howard said John produced a Beach Boys movie and they were kind of critical of Brian Wilson. John said that he doesn't want to bore everyone with this. He said they had a whole war between the Wilson's and the Loves. He said that Mike Love wrote the lyrics. He said that's what he contributed to the world. He said that Carl Wilson and Brian and Dennis too. He said that he's doing a new movie too. John said that he got it cleared through everyone. He said that they were very nice about the whole thing. He said he thinks that the lawyers started beating the hell out of him. He said during that time maybe Melinda didn't see some of the pages. He said they were angry at him.
John said he started in 1985 playing for them. He said that they played in Washington DC for a million people. He said Jimmy Page was playing with them too.
Howard asked Robin who she would fuck. Stamos or Brad Pitt. John said Brad is more of a manly man. He said that he's kind of a woman. Robin said that it would be very weird. She said that he did proposition her once. Robin said that he said they really should do it. Howard said she picked Johnny Depp over John once. Robin said she'd pick John over Johnny now. She said she picks him over Rob Lowe too. Robin said she's still thinking. John said he'd take Brad Pitt. Robin said she thinks she'd take John over Brad. John said that he's ready whenever she is.
Howard asked if she'd rather have Stamos or Bradley Cooper. Robin quickly picked Stamos. Howard said that John must want to find someone to settle down with. John said he's 50 and it's hard to find someone to settle down with. He said he has friends who are cheating on their wives. He said he doesn't want that.
Howard said Rebecca still hasn't changed her name from Stamos to O'Connell. John said she really doesn't care about him. Howard said she hasn't made that change yet. John said it's been 7 or 8 years and he doesn't think about it. He said she doesn't go by Stamos. Howard said it is on her license. Howard said Jerry was on a plane with Rebecca and they called her Mrs. Stamos. He said that hurt him. John said he wishes them the best.
Howard said he's seen John with ex-girlfriends and it's weird that they can't patch up. John said they've taken the high road. He said some heavy duty things happened during that time and Howard knows that. Howard said he really doesn't. He said that they should work things out. Howard said he invites John to the Kimmel parties. He said he doesn't invite Jerry and Rebecca. John said he appreciates that. Howard told Gary to bring them in now. He said that would be so great.
John said he stopped to listen to Jerry on the show once and he felt that he should feel something but he really didn't. He said that he's having a great life and he's never heard them say a bad word about him. Howard said they haven't. John said he felt happiness for her when he saw she was doing some work she always wanted to do. He said that was the first time he felt that.
Howard said it's still weird because John and Rebecca had so much between them. He said it's such a weird concept that they don't share that at all now. John said he thinks that he waited too long. He said he passed the 5 year mark and it's hard to get back to it. Howard said he doesn't think he's done therapy. John said he has actually.
John told Howard he only slept with 2 women in the past year. Howard said he's slowed down. John said that marriage is a weird thing. He said it's not like it used to be. John said he was angry for a long time. He said he wasn't just heart broken. Howard said he's so good looking that people don't think that he's unhappy. He said that he figured he could go out and bang other chicks. John said he met her in his 30s and they got marred when he was 35. He said he got divorced in his early 40s. He said that he had plenty of dating before that. He said he was always a relationship guy.
John said he got into a 4-5 year relationship with Leah. He said that didn't work out either. Howard said he thinks that he questions things too much. Howard said that he thinks that she's perfect other than this or that. John said he's right. John said he has younger girls throwing themselves at him and he doesn't want to be that guy either. He said he dates women who have kids. He said he might date a 50 year old. Howard said he doesn't think so.
Howard said he told John that Sandra Bullock would be good for him. John said he doesn't think that she's interested. John said he thinks that she'd look at him an wonder if she should really get involved. He said that women don't trust him and he can't blame them. He said it's all bullshit but that's the way it is. He said he can't fall into that character that people think he is.
Howard said John fucks a lot. John said he doesn't know that. He said he really doesn't. Howard said he's seen pictures. John said he's a photographer just like Howard is. John said he should probably be with someone like Renee Zellwegger but it's hard. Howard said he's so handsome that he knows there's another adventure right around the corner. Howard said he thinks that John would have passed Beth by if he had met her first. John said that's not true. He said if he met her today he wouldn't pass her by.
Howard asked John how Nikki isn't perfect. John said she is. He said he looks back and sees how he fucked things up with a bunch of people. He said that he has tried therapy. He said he invited his therapist to his birthday party and he showed up. Howard said that's not a real therapist then. He said that's crossing a line. John said he only goes once in a while and he's more of a friend than anything. Howard asked if he's a psychiatrist or psychologist. John said he's a psychiatrist. He said that they're almost more friends than anything. He said that he's fascinated with the guy.
Howard asked if John was upset that Rebecca had kids with Jerry and not with him. John said it was her time. He said he's not upset about that. Howard asked if he thought something was wrong with their relationship. John said she was doing big movies when she was with him. He said he was her biggest cheerleader at the time. He said he got to sit back and be proud of her. He said that it seems like they're happy and he's n to angry anymore. John said that he believes if he had time to spend with someone like Sandra Bullock that they'd see that he isn't that guy they think he is.
Howard said he has a story about him that he doesn't even know. John asked if it was when Rebecca was in bed with him. Howard said nothing happened that night. He said she did get in bed with him but nothing happened. John said nothing happened between him and Beth either. Howard and John got off that subject pretty quickly.
Howard said he told the producers of AGT that they should get John Stamos on the show. Howard said he knows that he turned it down. John said he was never contacted. Howard said someone lied to him then. Howard said maybe it was his agent. John said he would have known about it. Howard said someone is lying to him then. John said he thinks that being a judge would be good for him. He told Howard to get them on the phone. Howard said they must have lied to him just that once.
Howard said he thinks that having Stamos on the show would appeal to the ladies. John said he thought about doing the show but they never got a hold of him. Howard said they liked the idea of having a good looking dude on the show. John said he's not that articulate when it comes to talking about people's careers. He said he's doing yogurt commercials now and that doesn't hurt his career either.
John asked Howard if he would switch places with him. Howard said no way. He said he's happy with who he is. Robin said he would change faces with him though. Howard said that's true. He said he would love to look like the guy. He said that he knows he has a big cock too. He said he borrowed a pair of pants once and his cock was showing through them. He said he was going to throw out a pair of pants so he gave them to John. He said that they looked awful.
Howard asked why he's making another Beach Boys movie. John said they're his heroes. Howard said he's the drummer for the band. John said he has sat in a bunch of times but he's not ''the drummer.'' He said they have another drummer there when he's not around. He said he's caught up in the Mike Love and Brian Wilson feud. He said that he used to do 40-50 gigs a year. He said that he gets paid to do that. Howard asked if he can make a living doing that. John said he supposes he could but he makes more doing TV. Howard asked what they gave him per show. John didn't say. He said it's more about playing with the band than about money. He said that it's just great to play with them. He said he loved putting them on Full House and people are still learning about them to this day because of Full House.
John said Brian Wilson has his own band now and he loves them too. He said he appreciates Mike Love and what he contributed to the band. Howard said it's pretty weird that he's playing drums with his heroes.
Howard asked about playing with Jimmy Page. John said that they told him he had to teach Jimmy the keys they played in. He said he was in his early 20s an he hadn't done Full House yet. He said he got into his room and he had a girlfriend with him. He said he wasn't a drinker but Jimmy gave him something to drink. He said his friend brought him up there and he told him he had to do an F-sharp. He said Jimmy was upset he had to play that. He said that he was upset he couldn't solo on that.
Howard said it's weird that they sent the drummer up there to do that. John said they sent the guitar player up there but he was off doing something else. John asked Fred if he had a guitar. Fred gave him the one he had in the studio. John was playing some of what he was teaching Jimmy Page that day.
Howard asked why Jimmy was playing with the Beach Boys. John said they did that often with people in the business. He said that they'd get someone to play with them and that was the year Jimmy did it.
John told Howard about playing with John Fogarty and how he had Bruce Springsteen show up at this party he was at. He said he has the video because John's wife was taping it that night. He said he was playing drums with John and Bruce on either side of him.
Howard said that Don Rickles was getting all broken up talking about John. John said that Don loves Howard too. Howard said this is from the party that he wasn't invited to. He said that it was John's 50th birthday. Howard said Don really loves John. John said he had Bob Saget sort of host the party. He said Don got up and cleared the room. Howard played the clip and Don was talking about how he and John sit around talking about love and marriage. Howard said John does that with everyone. He played more of the clip and Don was getting all choked up about John. He said he appreciates everyone coming out. Howard asked if he was crying. John said everyone was crying. He said it was a real moment. Howard said John makes straight dudes weep.
Howard played another clip where Don was busting John's balls. He was having fun with other people in the audience too. He told John's mother to shut up. Howard said Don was roasting him. He said it doesn't get any better than that. John said that he never thought this would happen to him. He said that was one of those great nights.
Howard said John has a new show on the internet. It's called Losing It. John said that it's about losing your virginity. Howard said he interviews famous people about how they lost their virginity. Howard said John lost his at 17. Howard said he lost his at 16. John said he was a nerdy kid and one day things just changed. He said it happened when he was a senior. He said that girls wanted to go out with him.
John said one day he got punched in the face after he went around talking about how he was going to steal his girlfriend. He said he had to prove to the guy that he was going to make it after that. He said that he was 17 and a half when he lost his virginity. Howard said he heard that Jennifer Lawrence wants to fuck him. John said he's not sure what to say about that. Howard said she was talking about seeing him at a party and staring at his ass all night. John said he's only like 22 or 23. He said he's not going to call her and ask for a date. He said he's matured a little bit. Howard said John would fuck a 23 year old. John said everyone has. Howard said he doesn't go younger than his daughters. John said he's not going to go looking for her. Howard said that he might run into her at a party again.
John asked Howard how he learned about sex. Howard said his dad tried to talk to him about it but it was a disaster. Howard said he had already gotten laid.
John said he lost his virginity and he asked the girl if she'd fuck his friends. He said she told him to get the fuck out of there. Howard said John is so nice to his friends. John said he finds it fascinating to learn about losing your virginity. Howard asked how he can find this show. John said you just search for ''Losing It with John Stamos'' and it should come up. He said he did that with Morgan Spurlock. John said he has Bob Saget, Jeff Ross, Casey Wilson and others. He said the women have been interesting. He said Howard is such a great interviewer. He said they do recreations with puppets in the show. Howard said that's great. Howard asked if he can do a puppet show with him and Jennifer Lawrence when he fucks her. John said she was just joking around. He said he'd never do that to her. Howard said he thinks he should. Howard told him to do it for all of us and come in and tell them about it.
Howard asked who the hottest chick is that he's ever banged. John was asking Howard how it feels to be married. Howard said he's very lucky to have Beth.
Howard asked John about jerking off and what he jerks off to. John didn't want to talk about that. He said his libido has gone way down. Howard said that he got so much in that mad rush. He said that you wonder how much you really need. John said that he has a lot of free time. Howard asked if he ever jerked off to Jennifer Lawrence. John said he never did but he will now. Howard said John is a good dude and he shouldn't worry about it. John said he goes on dates but doesn't have sex very often. He said that it's very rare. He said that he is really into relationships. John said he had two girls in one year.
Howard gave John some plugs for the show and said you can find it on Yahoo. He said you can just search for John Stamos Losing It and that'll bring it up. Howard said he likes the idea of the show.
John asked if he's doing AGT again. Howard said he's 50/50 on it. He said that it's a lot of work. John said he's sorry he didn't invite him to the party. He said he fucked up. Howard said he and Jimmy are going on vacation and he's not invited.
John said that Ashley Olsen is Howard's biggest fan. Howard said he always says that. John said he should have her out to his house. Howard said he can bring her when he comes out to visit.
John told Howard that Bob Saget had diarrhea in his house and he was afraid to leave. Howard said that was after he had all of that healthy food with Robin. Howard said Jimmy told him about it and sent him the texts. He said they're having all kinds of fun out there. Robin said she never heard the aftermath of that.
Howard gave John some more plugs and wrapped up with him. John thanked them for coming out to the play he did last year. Howard thanked him for not inviting him to his party. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard said he hates taking pictures with that guy. Robin said he wanted a lot too. Howard said the best Christmas card he ever got was one that Gary's wife took with John Stamos and Gary was cut out of it. It was Mary, John and the boys. Gary said that she had crossed out his name too. He said they'll put it up on the web. Howard said you can check it out on HowardStern.com soon.
Robin said the best on that Howard ever did was where he and Beth were Brad and Agenlina and they had kids all around them. Howard said a listener did that and he had to put it out as a card.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he'd do anything to get tickets to the birthday show. Howard said he can't do it yet. He said he has to do it right. The caller said ''brother'' when he was saying goodbye. Howard said he said that to a black guy the other day and he got upset with him. He said he thinks that he took it as a racial thing. Howard said he always does that with his friends. He said he means it sincerely. He said he won't do that again though. Howard said he says it to Fred all the time. Fred confirmed that.
Howard said a lot of people use that phrase. Robin said a lot of people on the phones are doing it lately. Howard said it's a macho, manly thing. Howard said the thing that ruins it is when they put a dick in his ass.
Howard said he's not sure why he uses it a lot. He said he learned not to call black people ''Brother'' though. He said that he may have to drop all of his black friends and just stick with the white ones.
Howard said it's time for Robin's news. Fred played her in with a Little Mikey song parody. Howard said he doesn't know what he was even saying in that song.
Howard said Stamos said he jerks off every day but he's not sure if that's true. Robin said she loves when he downplays it all. Howard said that John pretends that it's hard to find the special person. He said he knows the guy and he gets laid more than anyone. Howard said he's seen it in action. Howard said all of them think they're going to tame him. He said he crushes them all and they think there's something wrong with them. Howard said no one has ever been that broken up over him.
Robin said that he actually did say they should have sex and just have fun with it. Howard said she should do it. Robin said she's just going to be another one to talk about. Robin said there's no reason to do that.
Robin started her news talking about a 3 year old girl who walked over a mile to get help after her mother was murdered. Robin said they say the little girl went down to her grandmother's and said she wasn't able to wake mommy up. Robin asked what Howard would do if he couldn't wake mommy up. Howard said he'd have a party. He said the voices would be gone from his head. He said all joking aside that's the worst. He said everyone needs their mommy. That led to Howard doing his impression of his mom. Howard had a conversation with her.
Robin asked if his mom is coming to his party. Howard said they're old now and they don't want to go anywhere. He said it would only lead to more problems. He said they'll forget to send the car again and she'll flip out.
Robin read about a guy who jumped from a helicopter into the water and killed himself. Robin said the guy insisted on getting higher and higher until they were at 750 feet. The guy opened the door and started to jump. Robin said the pilot tried to pull him in but he was unsuccessful. Robin said you don't include other people in your suicide. Howard was still doing his mother and father voices and talking about the birthday show.
Robin read about the comic books and how most of the heroes are white men. Howard said they do have a black Green Lantern. Robin said Marvel is going to start a new comic next year with a teen Muslim girl living in Jersey City.
Robin read about a high school coach who arranged a celebration party at Hooters. Robin said this was in Oregon. Howard said he has to go. Gary said the athletic director asked him to move it but the coach insisted that they had to go to that place. He said the coach still thinks there's nothing weird about it. Robin said the event is still scheduled to happen this weekend but without the school's support.
Robin asked Howard if he'd buy a self driving car. Howard said of course he would. Robin said they took a poll and found that 1 in 5 respondents would trust a car to a computer. Howard said most people die in car accidents so it would be a good thing. Howard played the Metallica ''One'' version that included his fart one more time.
Robin read about a guy who hijacked a plane to Cuba 30 years ago and how he's returning to the States.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he got one of the North Shore Animal League calendars and his wife was shocked at how good Howard looked. He said she wondered how much plastic surgery he got to look like that. Howard said all he ever had done was his nose. The caller said he obviously has a wig and he had a chin implant too. Howard said he never did. Howard said he'd tell him if he did. Howard said the guy is being a douche. Howard said he has to thank him for thinking he did have plastic surgery. Howard said people think he's good looking enough to have that. He said that it's a compliment in some way. Howard said anyone who has a chin implant looks like shit. He said it's easily identifiable. Howard said that's not insulting him. He said that he has such a bad self image that it's more like a compliment.
Robin said that the oldest runner in the NY Marathon ended up dying after taking a fall. Robin said it was her 25th consecutive marathon. Robin said she tripped and fell and hit her head. She went to have her visit with Al Roker and he asked what happened to her. She thought she was fine but she went into a coma at her hotel and was later declared dead. Robin said she was 86 years old. Howard said they say that's what happens when you hit your head. He said you think you're fine until later on when your brain explodes. He said she must have figured she was old already and no big deal. Howard said the only reason to run is to look good. He said if you're 86 it doesn't matter. Howard said there hasn't been one day he enjoyed running. He said he only does it to keep his weight under control.
Robin said that Denise Richards has submitted a letter in the custody battle between Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. Robin said Denise is taking care of the kids but she can't any longer because of the chaotic behavior of the kids. Robin said they come home and go into zombie like states. Robin said they play with their feces and attack the dogs and their sisters. Howard said they should adopt them and raise them in the studio.
Robin read about mayor Rob Ford admitting that he smoked crack. Howard said he has tons of tape to play. He said that's if he can find it. Howard said John Stamos has been hanging out with JD for the past 10 minutes so they'll have to find out about that later.
Howard played a clip of Rob Ford talking about smoking crack and how he did it in a drunken stupor. He said he just wants to move on from that. Ford said he has made mistakes and it is what it is. Howard said he's pissed off at them for not asking the right question. He said that the only reason he came clean is because they hounded him. Howard said someone on FOX news pointed out that the cameras in the room are much louder than anything we have here. Howard said he's right. The camera clicks were really loud.
Howard played more audio of Ford admitting to smoking crack. He said he knew that it was the right thing to do by admitting he did wrong. He apologized and people were actually laughing at it. Howard said he was sincerely apologizing for getting caught.
Robin read a story about the election that happened yesterday. Robin read about some of the winners there in New York like Mayor elect Bill DeBlasio. Robin said he's going to take over the mayor's office. Robin said that's the first democrat to win in 24 years. Howard said the NY Post says that he's a communist. Howard said he just hopes the guy doesn't fuck up what Bloomberg has done with the city. Howard said now you can find people who actually want to buy an apartment in Manhattan.
Robin read a story about casino gaming being voted in. Howard said he voted for it. He voted against the judges being able to retire at 80. Robin said she did the same. Howard said he passed on voting for some of the stuff because the writing was so small that he couldn't read it. Howard said he hoped he did the right thing with some of the things he voted on.
Robin read about Chris Christie winning again as governor. Howard said he's a good dude. Howard said he might be the next president. He said he won by such a large margin they say he could be a good candidate. Robin had some audio of Christie talking about his win. Howard said he sounds like a normal guy. Robin read about some other election winners and had Howard play some clips.
Howard said he has a clip of a guy who is a Detroit Lions fan and he's watching TV. He played the clip and the guy was flipping out over what was happening on TV. He said they just won and the guy was screaming about it. Howard said that should be reserved for when aliens attack the Earth and we're about to die. Howard said this is what it sounded like when black people were freed. The guy was going crazy over a football game. Howard said that's what you do when you hear your cancer has been cured.
Robin read about how they're trying to get Dan Snyder to change the name of the Washington Redskins. Robin said they voted to recommend that they have the name changed. Howard said they should scalp the guys who don't want to change the name. Howard said American Indians got so fucked over by this country. He said they don't want the name Redskins. Howard asked what the big deal is about changing the name. Robin had some audio of some people talking about how the name should stay the same.
Robin had some audio of a gay woman talking about getting married after 12 years of living together. The audio quality was awful so Howard goofed on that for a short time.
Robin read about a boy who killed his Neo-Nazi father getting 40 years to life in jail. Robin said the defense attorneys are going to try to appeal the case. Howard said the kid was only 13 so he'll be out in a few years. Robin said the kid needs help. Howard said he's not going to jail for life. Howard said he knows. He's a lawyer. Robin said they wanted him sent to a treatment center because of emotional and learning disabilities. Robin had some audio of an attorney talking about the case and how this kid was only 10 at the time of the killing.
Robin read about this woman who was one of Ariel Castro's kidnapping victims talking to Dr. Phil. Robin said she says she was beaten many times and experienced 5 miscarriages. Robin said she's the one that he abused and tortured the most. Robin had some clips from the interview.
Robin read a story about Michael Skakel trying to get his case back to court because he claims that he didn't have good representation in his first trial. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
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Gary said Steve Brandano was their intern at K-Rock. He said he came up with the idea for The Intern Show. He was Steve the Intern for the first couple of years he was there. He said he'd introduce him as Steve the Intern. One day Steve pulled him off to the side and said he doesn't like being known as Steve the Intern and asked him not to do that anymore. He said he was very nice about that. He said he changed what he was calling him. Jon wondered what it is that Benjy is upset about. Gary said maybe he's upset with the way Fred says things to him and he could have that conversation off the air.
Jon said he thinks that maybe Benjy is a different person now and he has feelings that he can't articulate. Gary said he has to earn it though. He said he's been a wild card for so long. He said Benjy loved and relished that for so long and if he doesn't want that he hasn't let them know about it yet.
Gary said after the big fight he was in the studio and he tried to lighten up the mood. He said that Howard was trying to do it too.
Jon said he thinks that Benjy is wrong about being singled out there if that's what he thinks. Gary said you can feel that way even if it's not actually that way.
Jon took a call from a guy who said there is a different tone with Benjy there. He said Benjy seemed to be caught off guard this morning and there was a general disgust with him. Gary said he said you have to earn it. He said every time you go to Benjy and he does shtick. He said if you do that for years then it seems like he's doing shtick. The caller said they should stop going to him then. He said there's not that anger with Sal and the other guys on the show. He said it sounds like there's an underlying hatred for him on the show. Jon said it's a frustration, not a hatred. Jon said Howard is asking him a question about a labia and it's not like Benjy doesn't have an opinion on that. He said that he gets that he might want to keep that off the air but you have to answer the question. He said Benjy was that way before and maybe that's where the rub is. Gary said Benjy knows that but they don't.
Benjy came in so Gary told him that the guy on the phone was defending him. Gary said he was saying he has to earn it. Benjy had no idea what he was talking about. Gary said that he was talking about Benjy's inability to answer a question simply. Benjy said he knows it might be true that he can't explain himself at times. He said it feels hatred like to him. Gary said Howard doesn't hate Benjy. He said he may hate that he derails the show. Benjy said there is some truth to it. Gary said he used to be that wild card guy on the show. Benjy said he's gone over that a hundred times. He said he has told them that he fucks around with his age being brought up on the air. He said that they give black or white answers and he doesn't lie. He said if he's not comfortable with something he'll say he doesn't know. Benjy said he thinks he's more honest on the air than most people and that's what gets him in trouble.
Jon asked Benjy about how he didn't want to answer the question today and how he thinks he would have in the past. Benjy said he thinks he's on to something there. He said it's not wrong to talk about that stuff. He said there are personal boundaries. Jon said that his have changed. Benjy said yeah. Benjy said he didn't want to get into it the way Howard wanted to. Gary said all he did was ask if he looks. He didn't ask whose he's looking at. Benjy said he could have made it a simpler moment but he didn't. He said if he had given him a second he could have gotten into it. Gary said they don't have time to do that.
Jon said Fred said that he picks on everyone else there and it's not just Benjy. Benjy said he would love to speak up whenever anyone is being picked on. He said he was able to do that this morning for the most part.
Jon said everyone thinks there is more to this than what they're hearing on the air. Benjy said maybe it's misplaced. He said he can't fight back with Howard when he adds into it. Gary asked if it's just Benjy and Fred or something else. Benjy said he might be more vocal than he used to be. He said it's not a black and white issue. He said that it's not black and white with him. He said he would like to work it out with Fred.
Gary asked what it is that he's trying to work out. Benjy said he'd like to have more of an understanding and be nice to each other. Gary asked why he feels that way.
John Stamos walked in and interrupted the conversation. John said Benjy's girlfriend is hot. Benjy said her name is Elisa Jordana. John said they don't need to know her name. Benjy said they do.
John said that Benjy has been with her for a while now. Benjy said it's been two years now. John said they learned that it wasn't a star fucking thing. Benjy said they met as friends and it wasn't a show thing. Jon said they had to take a break so they went to break a short time later.
John said he was listening a few weeks ago and heard Johnny Knoxville on the show. He asked if he didn't have time for Howard. Gary said he had to go do another show and then came back and hung out with them.
Jon asked if John thinks that Howard is enjoying his life. John said he thinks that Howard should be enjoying his life the way he is. He said he thinks Howard has what he needs to do that.
Jon asked John about what Howard says about him and if he thinks that he's wrong. John said he's not a playboy and he's not getting laid every night like Howard thinks. Gary said he should do a reality show but based on what people think he is. He said it could be like that show 'Episodes'' which is Matt LeBlanc's show about what people's perception of him is. John said it's already been done though.
Gary said he thinks that John gets laid 4 out of 7 nights a week. John said he probably could but he doesn't. Benjy asked if he dates a lot but doesn't fuck because he doesn't want them to get too attached. John said there is some of that. He said he really doesn't have sex as much as people think he does. He said he does care about the girl's feelings. He said he's 50 years old now and he's not one of those whining guys who complains about not having a girl.
Gary said he was away with his family this summer and his 24 year old niece was gushing over John. John said he was in Brazil once and they don't know him down there. He said they didn't care down there. He said the women don't give a shit if they don't know who he is. Benjy asked if he tried to let them know who he was. John said he did but it didn't work. He said he thinks that his personality could get girls. He said he really thinks this is boring though.
Jon asked John about not inviting Howard to his party and how he was afraid that he would think he was fishing for a gift. John said he didn't invite any of his friends from New York. He said he's as close to Jon and Gary as he is to Howard. He didn't invite them either. John said he invited a lot of people in the last week before the party. He said Tom Jones heard about it at the last minute and ended up performing at the party. Gary said that Tom Jones was on a birthday show once and he was really good.
John asked if Gary and Jon were upset they weren't invited to the party. Gary said he wasn't. He said he thinks that he's closer to Howard though. John said he should have invited all of them but it was a Monday night and he was out in L.A.
Jon said he's dammed if he does and dammed if he doesn't. Gary said there would have been a lot less of that than there was of this. John said he used that bullshit thing about the present. He said he should have invited them all.
Benjy said he wondered what his relationship was with Howard when he was hanging out with them. He asked if they were really close. John said he'd go to his house a lot and go to dinner. He said that he's always been supportive of him. Benjy asked if it's a real friendship. John said he thinks it is.
John said that people ask if he's upset that Jimmy stole his best friend. John said he's really not. He said that they both think they're closer to Howard than they really are.
Jon said John really takes his music seriously. He said he's not just messing around. John said when he first started he didn't take it so seriously. He said that he has taken it more seriously in the past 10-15 years. John said he sent him the pictures of him with Fogarty and Springsteen. Gary said it was great. John said he's been playing with Willie Nelson a lot too. He said they asked him to come on stage and jam with them. He said they kept inviting him to play with them so he kept doing it.
Gary said that sometimes people get upset when someone is good at one thing and they do another. He said that an actor might get people angry at them when they start playing in a band. John said he understands that.
Benjy asked if John ever thought about being a comedian. John said he admires that and he's obsessed with the way comedy works. He said he couldn't be a stand up. He said he has done a lot of comedy and it's a craft. He said that it's almost mathematical rhythm wise.
Gary asked John what he wanted to do when he grew up. John said he wanted to be an actor on a sitcom. He said he had a list of things he wanted to do. He said he wanted to be on Happy Days and things like that. Now he has Gary Marshall at his birthday party.
Jon and Gary spent a few minutes talking to Jon about playing with the Beach Boys and things like that. Stamos told the guys about getting to play with them and how much it means to him. They went to break a short time later.
John said that he likes when people walk away saying he was a nice guy. He said he used to put more thought into it but now it just comes naturally.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked John if he was invited to Howard's birthday party. John said yes. John said he will be at the 60th. He said he knows Howard wouldn't have come to his. He said he should have invited them all though.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if he would rather have the Stones or Chuck Berry play at his party. John said he got to play with Chuck years ago. He said he plays whatever he wants to play. John said he would rather have the Stones play at his party. John said he thinks he has played with Ron Wood. He said he's met the band but the Beach Boys are his idols. He said they were the first concert he ever went to. He said he loves Brian Wilson and Mike Love. He said he thinks that he's turned 10s of millions of kids onto them on Full House. Jon said he can attest to that because his kids watched the show and they were into the Beach Boys. Gary said that Full House is to his kid's generation what The Brady Bunch was to their generation.
Gary said Howard interviewed Brian Wilson one time and it was very strange. John said that during the 80s he was there putting them on TV when they weren't that relevant.
Gary said Dr. J just walked by in the hall. He said that's his biggest idol ever.
Jon asked John how it was hanging out with JD in the hall. John said he hasn't been on the show in 3 or 4 years. He knew now was the right time. Jon said they had to wrap up the show. He had Lisa G in the studio to give her news preview. She said that she can relate to John Stamos because she finds it hard to meet people too. She said that she gets such grief over it. She said that they don't believe that she's happy though.
Jon said Lisa could play the celebrity card. Lisa said she's not a star. John said that it's harder an harder to find someone when you get older. John said he knows there are people telling him to shut the fuck up Stamos. John said he's become too picky. He said that he's dated so many beautiful women that he should have stayed with.
Jon had Lisa give her news rundown and then ended the show. They were done around 11:05am.
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