|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about how special it is when they show up to do a show. He said some people say he's not doing enough shows. He thinks he's doing too many. Howard said people were taking him for granted. Now they won't.
Howard said more pictures of Anthony Weiner showed up. He said he's kind of like a Playboy Playmate and he's kind of pervy and very into his physique. He said he goes into the congressional gym and works out and he seems to be alone. Howard said there's a pose he did on the cover of Private Parts and that's what Weiner seems to be doing. Howard said he takes his phone and snaps shots of himself. He said the guy seems very involved with his penis. Howard said he's all about the weiner.
Robin said last week the news broke that his wife is pregnant too. Robin said he's also off to rehab. Howard said that's the move these days. He said he's into taking pictures of himself and sending them to women. He said that's an odd thing to go to rehab for. Howard said he's only going because he got caught and he's a congressman. Howard wondered what he's going to do there. Robin said there will be guys who have cocaine addictions listening to this guy's problem. Howard said that's not much of an addiction. He said they'll tell him he can leave as soon as he gets there.
Howard said Tiger Woods went to rehab. So did Jesse James. Howard said maybe it's a good place to go think things through.
Howard said last week he was thinking about how this guy is going to have to go through this stuff and he'll survive it. He said he gets why he lied about it but it doesn't mean he condone's the behavior. Howard said he was reading about other guys who did things like this and survived it. Ted Kennedy was one. He said if Weiner stays in office he might be fine. Howard said Weiner is in a congressional district that's going got be redistricted. Howard and the guys talked about what that means and why it's done. Howard said it's a very common political practice. He said that if you have a heavily weighted district, one way or the other, they can change the lines there. Howard said he's done either way because of that.
Howard said if he was Weiner he would resign. He said he would be humiliated and embarrassed for what he did. He said it was psycho behavior. Howard said he loves that guys are so shocked by this. He said that's what guys do.
Robin said Tracy was saying he would stab himself if he had a gay son. Howard said he said that he'd stab the kid. Robin thought it was stabbing himself. Howard said he did apologize for it but it's crazy.
Howard said he thought he was pretty liberal on that stuff. He said that must be how he really feels though. Howard said most people feel this way and that's why gay marriage isn't widely accepted. Robin said younger people are much more liberal and it's not ''most people'' like Howard said. Howard said he doesn't get it and he doesn't care what you do with another person as long as it's legal.
Howard said he's not sure what to think about all of that. He and Robin got back to Anthony Weiner and talked about what they think is going to happen to him. Robin said this is embarrassing to many of his supporters.
Howard read this letter that he got and talked about what a waste of time it is. Howard said that he's all for Planned Parenthood. He said he sees people who can't even take care of a dog, never mind a kid. Howard said if the dog does one thing wrong they get rid of it. He said if you don't want abortion he wonders if you're out of your mind.
Howard read about this group that sent out the letter and they were asking for money of course. Howard said they're the AUL Action group or something like that. Howard said he got that in the mail and wondered how they got a hold of him. Robin said maybe they thought he was on the fence about that. Howard said he's not on the fence at all. He doesn't want unwanted kids around. Howard said that there are kids who have parents that raised them and they hate them. Howard said he's the product of an unbroken home and look how fucked up he is.
Howard said that he was reading about these two girls who were born joined at the head. The family decided not to have an abortion and now they have no way to pay for the medical bills. He said the kids are going to have some life. Howard said people started writing in and told the family about how their life is going to be filled with pain. They have no plan for the kids. They're bringing pain and suffering into the world.
Howard said they think it's a natural thing but it's not going to be easy. Howard said you have to think of the person and not the baby. Howard said it's insane bringing someone like that into this world. It's like torture. Howard said people don't think about what happens to the kids after they're born. They just want them to be born.
Robin said that they say the babies feel the stress before they're born and they have to suffer through that whole 9 months.
The caller said he was asking because he's in a situation where he's in love with a woman who lives in Florida and he's not in that area. He said she's 44 and he's like 27. The guy said that they're on the same page but it's a weird situation.
Howard said he can't be in love with someone like that. He told the guy to find someone close by. Howard asked what's preventing the woman from moving there. The guys said he's having problems controlling his feelings for her. He said he knows it won't work out in the end. He said he wants kids and she doesn't. Howard said he should break it off then. Howard told the guy to just fuck her a little bit and break it off when they feel they need to break it off. The guy said that was the intention but somewhere along the line it went wrong.
Howard told the guy to just break up with her if he thinks it's not going to last. Howard said he's not Dr. Laura so he's not sure why he's even talking about this. Howard said this guy might be too selective. He said that he shouldn't think so hard on this. Howard said he got to be more choosy when he got older and more famous. He said he loved whoever loved him. He said that if you love him, he'll love you back.
Howard said he had a girl he loved in Princeton, New Jersey. Howard said she ended up breaking up with him because his penis wasn't big enough. Howard said he found someone else to love him though.
Tim Sabean came in and said they are back tonight. He said that Abe Kanan is someone new and they're trying to develop that show. Mark said the show sounded like the retarded version of ''The View.'' He asked why Sal and Richard don't do a show. Howard said they can do that but he knows there will be complaints. Tim said there are complaints no matter what they do.
Howard said Beth set Tim up on a date. Tim said it went good. Robin asked how many dates he's been on. Tim said it was just one.
Howard told Tim he has to learn how to spell. He said he spelled ''Past'' as ''Passed'' in an email. Tim said that's his spell check. Tim said that it's his spell check on the iPhone. Howard said he has to learn how to spell that. Howard said he spelled Whirlwind wrong too. He said that he shouldn't be using those words if he doesn't know how to spell them. Howard said he's one of the best programmers he knows but if he doesn't know a word, don't use it.
Howard said that Tim isn't going to leave. He wanted to know about the date. Tim didn't have much to say about it. He said that things have to happen organically. Howard asked him to spell that too. Tim kept walking out saying he had things to do. Howard said he wanted to talk. Gary said he thinks he doesn't like him talking about the dating. Gary said he literally ran out the door. Howard said he should run out and learn spelling.
Howard said Tim needs to be locked down with a wife. He said they have to get him set up and dating again. Howard said the guy has had no shortage of dates. Howard said he thinks he looks like Rush Limbaugh but Beth thinks he's good looking. Robin said she thinks he has a look. Howard said that's good that he's a sexy guy. Howard said he hopes he's not Tweeting pictures of himself to women. He said he's really one of his favorite people. Howard said the guy can't spell though.
Howard said Robin was not into him at all. He said that Clarence had a stroke. He said he was a really good dude and he was always great on the show when he'd come on. Howard talked about how he would tell Robin how great she was. Howard said the guy never got to cook for her. Howard said she almost ran out of the room when he'd come on to her.
Howard said he was reading about how he wasn't in very good health the past couple of years. Howard said he's not sure how bad the stroke was. Robin said they said he was seriously ill. Howard said that sounds like he might be in a coma. Robin said they probably mean that it had a big effect. Howard said he hopes the guy is okay.
Howard said he saw a movie once where this guy had a stroke and the only thing he was able to do was blink one eye. He said his mind was intact but all he could do was blink one eye. Howard said he wasn't able to talk or anything but he was able to blink and type out a book. Howard said the guy had to blink once for the letter A and twice for B and so on. He said by the time he gets to Z he's blinking 26 times. Howard and Fred created what that might sound like when Howard would give a letter and Fred would play a blink-like sound effect.
Howard said even with the blinking the guy could spell better than Tim. Gary said Sal is pretty bad at spelling. So is Steve Brandano. Gary said Sal was saying he's smarter than Tim. Sal told Howard he's smarter than Tim and he can spell better than him. He started spelling words that Howard was saying. Howard threw out a few more words for him to spell. Howard said he doesn't use big words if he doesn't know how to spell them. He said they should have a spelling bee between Sal, Tim and Steve. He said the winner gets to keep his job.
Howard asked Sal to spell Rendezvous. Howard said if he gets that then he's not in the competition. Sal was shaking it when he spelled it. He spelled marriage ''cunt.'' Sal said he was just kidding. He wasn't able to get Rendezvous right. He forgot the Z. He spelled Scissors correctly. He was able to spell Rhythm. Gary was saying it had an N in it. Sal spelled idiot ''GARY.''
Howard asked Sal to spell Judgment. Sal was able to do that. He told him to spell bureau. He got that one right too. Fred said he got Judgment wrong. Howard thought it had an E in there but he was wrong.
Sal was able to spell Colonel. Howard said it was close enough. Howard said when you email you keep it simple. Howard said a lot of people don't know the difference between your and you're. He said that there are a lot of issues like that and to, too and two.
Howard said that Beth masterminded the whole date thing with Tim. He said that was very nice of her. He said that he's never seen her do that before but she thought that Tim and this woman would be right for each other. Robin said that's good. Howard said it is. He said he had to take a break. He said he has a lot to get to today.
Howard said you can get a monthly view but you can't see what's happening. Robin said that's right. Howard said he would like to see at least a week at a time. Howard said he'd like to be a guy who can whip out his phone and set something up in the calendar. He said he was trying to learn that yesterday. Jeff helped a lot but he's not sure he can go fully electronic.
Howard said his daughter called telling him that she was coming to visit on the 15th and he didn't know how to set it up. Howard said it's mind boggling to him. Gary told Howard in Lotus Notes there is a calendar that is different than the one they use. He said he uses it for everything and it works great for him. He said he sets up alarms and it warns you.
Howard said that he'd like to set up the calendar to let him know that they're off every other week. He said that it's not that easy. Gary said it's not that hard. He said he could set it up pretty easily. Howard said there are things that repeat but then they don't repeat. Gary said you have to set up everything as repeating. He said he needs to stop something from repeating in August and he doesn't know how. Gary said he'd have to ask Jeff Shick about that. Howard said he has to figure out a way to make it easy for him to change things.
Howard said he's trying to learn photography but he's learning too much. He said he's worse now than he was before. Howard said that's the way it is with the electronic calendar. He said he needs something more simple. Howard said Jeff says he can get him to be an electronic calendar guy. He said he'll kiss the guy's balls if he can do that. He said he won't actually kiss them but you know what he means.
Howard said he was surprised by Anthony Weiner's body when he saw it. He said that you never know what a guy looks like under their clothes. He said he'd like to see what Jeff Shick looks like. He told him to Tweet him a picture with his hand over his weiner and text it to him.
Howard said Anthony Weiner is consumed with his weiner. Howard said the guy is really pervy. Howard said he has done weird shit on the air but at least he did it in public. Howard said he never went home and took pictures of himself and Tweeted them to anyone. Howard said the guy must be sexually frustrated. Howard said he can't be into that wife of his either. He said he knocked her up and now she's stuck with him.
Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about how Weiner had apologized to Bill Clinton about the whole picture thing. Howard said it has to come up between Hillary and Bill. He said that Bill must talk to Huma too. He said he can just imagine what's going on there.
Howard and the guys were talking about what Bill did and how he had allegedly put a cigar into a woman. Howard wondered what kind of advice he could be giving to Weiner. Robin said they said he was very upset with the whole situation. Howard said Clinton probably told him to ''deny, deny, deny'' and never admit it. Howard said he probably told him to say he doesn't even know what a tweet is. Howard did his Clinton voice the whole time he was talking about that stuff. Howard spent a couple of minutes doing that impression and giving advice to Weiner. Howard said that Bill survived so that's why Weiner is calling him.
Robin said that Arnold must have tunneled back to Austria. She said they haven't heard a thing about him lately. Howard said he'd like to know what he's up to. He said if he was still in office then we'd be hearing about it. Howard said it's weird how we can only hear about one scandal at a time. Howard said every Weiner picture is in the paper today. He said he must be hoping that they'll get back to Arnold soon. He said he hopes to hear from Arnold today. Gary said he'd work on that.
Howard said he had some audio of what Arnold said to them last. He played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard had an author on with Fake Arnold who was coming on to her and talking dirty saying he was jerking off to her voice and things like that.
Howard took a call from Dr. Remulac before they went to break. Howard said he hasn't spoken to him in years. He wasn't there when Howard picked up though. Howard tried one more time but he wasn't there. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Robin has too many people after her. Fred played that Springsteen song for Clarence Clemons. Robin never went out with him and he thinks she should do that now.
Howard said that he was going through the songs that came in about her this weekend and he has about 30. He said he'll pick out four to play. He played one called ''Pussy Face'' by Psych. Robin said he's back in a big way.
Howard had an Eli Braden song called ''I just Sprayed Jizz On Robin's Face'' and then Little Mikey's ''I Rub My Cock And Balls All Night'' and then ''Show Me Boobs'' by Little Mikey again.
Howard said he had some other songs to play. He said that Baba Booey was on Conan O'Brien the other night. He said he had some Tony Awards clips and they were up against basketball. Howard said he didn't even know the basketball game was on. He congratulated Mark Cuban for the win.
Howard asked Robin to catch him up on the basketball games. He asked how many were played. Gary told Howard they played six. Howard said that Mark Cuban has always been nice to him so he was happy for him. He said Mark was almost his boss. He said that they almost worked together. Robin said he was trying to make a deal with Charlie Sheen too. Howard said he would like to do something with Mark some day.
Howard said he heard that Gary was going back and forth between the basketball and the Tony Awards. He said he saw Neil Patrick Harris and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) doing a number together. Robin said she found it funny when Howard came out of the latest X-Men movie doing that voice he was doing. Howard said he was doing his own character but it was kind of like Magneto. Howard said you know a movie is good when you walk out and want to be that guy.
Howard said he was watching the new Green Lantern cartoon this weekend. He said he gets his powers from the elders. Robin said she needs to know more about this. She said that he was the first human to be given the green lantern powers. Howard said he was an air force test pilot. Howard said this is what he was doing while Eddie Van Halen was practicing guitars. Howard said he was busy reading comic books.
Howard said the ring chooses you and they look for people who are not afraid. Howard told Robin about how there are many Lanterns around the universe and it's not just Earth. Howard said Green Lantern has to go and join the other lanterns to protect the universe. Howard said the elders are tiny guys like Yoda who fly wherever they want. Howard said they call the Lanterns to meetings and tell them what they need to do. Howard chuckled as he was telling these stories.
Howard said they killed off Hal Jordan in the comic books. He said he thinks they may have brought him back but he's not sure. He hasn't kept up on that very much. He said he liked Hal Jordan the best. Howard said the comic book business was in the shit hole until the comic book movies started coming out. He said they were doing all kinds of things with the characters before that.
Howard said that Hal Jordan ended up dying and his ring flew off. He said that they can fuck up in a battle and get killed. Robin said that the ring becomes everything you want it to though. Howard said some of the enemies could win against them. Howard said it's a whole thing. He said that someone can blow you up or the ring can run out of energy... like an iPhone. Howard said he's been trying to keep his phone charged and he keeps a cord around so he can get it charged. Robin said she sees people asking to plug their phones in out at bars and stuff. Howard said he wouldn't do that, he's not an asshole.
Robin said that they say that you should let the phone run down below 20 percent before charging it. Howard said he didn't know that. Robin said she was told to let it go below 20 percent or it will ruin the battery. She said that they say not to charge it more than 2 hours or you'll ruin the battery. Robin said she's always running around worrying about that. Gary said that they must have told her wrong. That's an outdated school of thinking. Gary said he charges his every night, overnight, and it's fine. Robin said it was driving her crazy. Howard told Robin not to worry about it and just charge the stupid thing.
Howard said he doesn't remember life without a PDA. He said he ran into a guy who had a flip phone the other day. Robin said Sandra Bernhard had one. Howard said he told this guy to leave. He said he's weird if he has a flip phone. Robin said she was against it all at first. She said that the camera on the phone has caused so many problems.
Robin asked if TiVo is the greatest thing that he's added to TV. Robin said they've done everything now. She said you can get everything on that thing now. Robin said it's ridiculous. Howard said he can do that but he hasn't used most of those features. Robin said that you can go on Netflix and Hulu and all of that. Howard said he's busy doing stuff on his computers. He said it takes up your whole day. He said he spent all of Sunday on his computer. He said he doesn't walk outside anymore.
Howard said he was annoyed by that. He said that he doesn't want Gary being out there being his ambassador. He said that he wants this book tour to be over and it finally is. Howard said Gary went to see David Arquette at Beacher's Madhouse and it's the worst place for a recovering alcoholic to be. Howard said Gary told him that if you order a bottle of booze David will get on the microphone and tell people to watch the flying midgets pouring booze as they fly around. He said that it's all alcohol fueld. Gary said it's an intimate club to get loaded at and David is the only one not drinking. Gary said he walks around handing out candy to people.
Gary said that he ran into Paris Hilton out there. He said she just goes there and hangs out. Howard said he heard that she gets like 100 grand to sit there. Gary said that Paris and her mother are supposed to call in tomorrow. Howard said he hopes they do call in. He said he does watch her reality show and he thinks that she's cold and heartless and he has questions.
Howard asked Gary about going to Los Angeles and going to a book signing in Pittsburgh. Gary said he's done now with all of that. Howard said he's glad. He played a song that Richard sang about his ''Booey's Never Ending Book Tour.'' Gary said they have a lot of fans out in Pittsburgh. He said the turn out was great.
Howard said he's so mad at Richard for booking his wedding for this summer. Gary said he can't go. Howard won't go. Robin said she can't go either. Howard said he would go if he had it in October or even September. Howard said he has a lot going on this summer. He said he loves Richard and he wants to go and he wanted to just go. He said their friends who they've been dying to have over are free that same weekend. Howard said he has been begging these people to come and spend time with them. Howard said he wants to blow off Richard's wedding so bad. Robin said she's going to blow it off because she has other things planned. She said she can't go to the wedding and then out to California.
Howard said he's not going. He said that he wants to move it to October. Gary said that's coming off kind of selfish. Howard said he knows it is.
Howard said he's considering going at least. Gary said that Howard went to Jason's wedding but not to Will's. Howard said Will's was out of town. Gary said it was only 2 hours away. Howard just laughed.
Howard said he was thinking about going to the ceremony and not go to the reception. He said that he didn't think that was right either. Howard said he's not sure how Richard's family is going to be. Howard said Beth was thinking they'd be distracting at the wedding but he didn't even buy that.
Howard said he wants this friend to come to town but he doesn't want to be a dick either. Howard asked Robin what she would do. Robin said he should go. Gary said he's not going but he has a family trip. Howard said he should have rescheduled it too. Gary said he's going down to the outer banks with his family and this trip was planned in December. Gary said Richard didn't send the save the date until February.
Gary said he has to drive the whole family down that day and he can't go to the wedding. Howard was trying to tell him to go. Gary said Howard is going to be at home so he could go too. Howard said he doesn't want to go but he feels he has to. Howard said his shrink tells him not to do things he doesn't want to do. He said he's trying to think about other people but he doesn't want to do it. Howard said if Richard cared about him he'd tell him not to come.
Howard asked if Richard would rather have him there and get an okay gift or have him not there and get a great gift. Robin is going to be giving him a great gift because she won't be there.
Richard came in and Howard asked how many days he's been wearing the same shorts and shirt. Richard said he changed last week but before that he wore them for about a month. He thinks that shorts and jeans don't really get dirty. Howard said they do get dirty.
Howard asked Richard if he wants him there or does he want a great gift. Richard said he would rather have the gift. He said he doesn't want him somewhere he doesn't want to be. Howard said he's not answering honestly. Richard said he doesn't want him to be there if he's going to be having a terrible time.
Howard said that Richard missed Jason's wedding to go to a Coheed and Cambria concert. Richard said he's not coming down on Howard for this. Howard said he won't come to the wedding. He's going to have dinner with him and his wife. He said he'll suck it up and take him out with his wife. Howard said they'll talk about Halloween and pumpkins and haunted houses. He said he'll have a shitty dinner with him instead of the wedding. He said he'll pay him not to have to go to his wedding. Howard asked what would make it worthwhile for him. He said that the family is throwing him another party in Kansas too.
Howard said he's going to take Richard and his wife, a former intern, to dinner. He said he'll get them a really good gift. He asked Richard what a great gift would be. Howard wanted a number. Richard asked what he gave Isaac. Howard said he's thinking a thousand or $1,500. Howard asked if he has to give him the dinner too. Richard said he doesn't have to do anything.
Howard said he'll do that and he can expect a check in the mail. He said if he goes to the wedding he's only giving him $200. Richard said he's fine with whatever he does.
Howard said he gets a lot of hate mail when he does this bit. He said that people will call him a selfish mother fucker and tell him how arrogant he is for doing this. Richard said he's fine with whatever Howard wants to do.
Howard said Richard is going bald. He saw him walking out and he had a big bald spot. Howard asked if Fred is going to the wedding. Fred said he doesn't go to any weddings. Fred said he barely went to his own. Howard said that seems kind of selfish to him. Fred said he's just not into it. Fred said he only had 6 people at his wedding. Howard and Robin weren't even invited.
Howard said he feels guilty now. He said no one is gong to his wedding. Robin said that some people are going. Steve Brandano is going. Howard said he's not getting any of the real players on the show. Gary isn't even going. Benjy is going. Howard said Tim will probably go. Howard said Tim came in and said there won't be anymore talking about his dating on the air. He said that he must be dating multiple women or something.
Lisa said that Richard smelled of cologne today. She said he does that when he doesn't shower. Howard asked Lisa if she's going to the wedding. Lisa said she is going but she's not sure if she can bring a date. Howard said she never brings a date. He said she has to bring somebody. He said she should get people talking.
Howard said Lisa is so pretty and he doesn't get it. Howard told her to go out with an older guy. Lisa said she's open to that but he'd have to set her up. Howard asked if she's into Tim. She said she works with him. She can't date Tim. Howard said he has to get Lisa set up so he can work on Robin too. Howard said he met a male model the other night that would be good for Robin. He said he's trying to come up with someone for Lisa. He said that he'd set her up with Fred if he wasn't married. Howard said maybe Wayne Siegel would be a good one. Gary said that he has a friend who wants him to set her up with Wayne too. Howard said he's going to send them out on a date then.
Howard asked if she'd go out with him. Lisa asked if he's nice. Howard said no. He said no guy is nice. Howard said he's a great guy actually. Howard said he barely sees him but he thinks he's a great guy. Howard said he used to go on vacation with him when he was married. He said he is a car dealer so how decent could he be? Howard said Gay men are nice men. He said straight men are not nice.
Howard said he's going to set Lisa up with Wayne. He told Gary to get him on the phone. Howard said Wayne will give her action if she wants it.
Ronnie came in and told Howard that Wayne broke up with that girl he was dating. Ronnie said he's a workaholic so that gets in the way. Howard asked if he would go out with Lisa. Ronnie said Wayne would go out with anybody. He said she has to put out though. Howard said he thinks that she'll put out. He said she'd been out with other guys. Gary wasn't able to get him on the phone. Ronnie said he's probably at the gym. Howard said his whole life is trying to get on the air but when they want him he's not there.
Howard said he's going to hang himself after hearing they were talking about him. Howard said the guy is a good guy though. He's going to set him up with Lisa.
Gary said that Ronnie is right. He said that she's going to have to put out but maybe not on the first date. He said that Wayne is at an age where you don't wait two months. Howard said he thinks that Lisa knows what to do. He asked what she would wear on a date. Lisa said she's not sure. Howard said he thinks she's cute and Wayne would do well with her. Ronnie said he's a major workaholic. He said he has a new dealership out on Long Island. Howard said Lisa just got wet. Ronnie said he has Nissan in one dealership and Porsche, Audi and Volkswagen in another one.
Howard said he was thinking about setting Ronnie up with Robin. Ronnie said he has a girlfriend. Howard said that Robin would go gay before dating Ronnie. Ronnie said he's not so sure of that. Robin said if he was the last man on earth, that would be the end of civilization.
Ronnie told Howard that Wayne runs the show over there at the dealers. He said that he has a lot of headaches running that place. He said he has guys helping him out with that and they're younger guys. Howard said he used to think that he was going to go bankrupt without his father there. It turns out he was doing a good job and he knows what he's doing.
Gary told Howard that Wayne was on the phone. Howard picked up and Wayne told Lisa that he's no prize. He said she is a very pretty girl. He said he's not ever going to get married again. Howard said if Angelina Jolie wanted to marry him he'd marry her. Wayne said he will be in a relationship but there won't be another Mrs. Siegel. Wayne said he likes going to work. Lisa said she thinks they sound very similar. They both like working and they both work out. Howard said that if they meet the right girl they'll crack. Wayne said if the pressure comes then the relationship will be over. He said that's what happened with the last one.
Wayne said he's not the marrying type. Howard asked if she can move in if things go well. Wayne said that they could have a great time but he won't marry or live with a woman. He said he'd put her in her own house. He said he'd buy her one. Howard asked how that sounds. Lisa said that sounds perfect. Howard asked if she would still go out with him. Lisa said he's being honest. She said it's not ideal for her. She said he sounds kind of angry. Wayne said he's really not. He's just telling her how he is. Howard asked if he would be exclusive. Wayne said he would. He said he doesn't really go away much. He said he doesn't plan vacations.
Howard asked how tall he is. He's only 5'7'' tall. Howard said that's not a bad size. Lisa could handle that. Howard asked how his back hair situation is. Ronnie said he's a hairy mother fucker. Wayne said he is trimmed down with his bush. Howard asked how long Lisa could hold out. He asked if she could hold out a month. Wayne didn't sound too happy about that.
Howard said he thinks that Wayne is being a little harsh on radio. Ronnie said this is the way it went down off the air too. Wayne said he's not looking to get married. He said he'd like to have a good time and go away but not get married.
Lisa joked that she was swooning hearing all of this. Howard said it sounds like he's trying to talk her out of it before it even happens. Howard said she just wants to hear that he's open to dating and see where it goes. Howard said he's coming off a little asshole-ish. Wayne said he didn't mean to. Ronnie said he thinks he does mean it.
Howard said he has to open his heart up a bit and see what happens. Wayne said he knows how he is and he knows he doesn't want to marry. Wayne said he can say that you never know what the future holds. Lisa said she has dated someone recently and she'll be going out on another date.
Howard said he thinks that she'd like Wayne. He said that he can be fun. Howard asked when they want to go out. Wayne asked when Lisa is free. Lisa said she has to check her Blackberry. She said she has family in town this weekend so it's not good. Wayne said that he's free on Saturday. He's busy on Friday. Wayne said he has something to do. Howard said he wants to know what it is. Wayne said he has plans with someone else on Friday. Lisa asked about Sunday Brunch. Wayne said Sunday is good for him.
Wayne said he's going to take her out wherever she wants to go. Lisa was up for it so they were going to give it a try. Then they realized they were busy on Sunday because it's father's day.
Howard tried to set them up for Saturday but that wasn't going to work for Lisa. Wayne said they'll talk off the air and figure something out. Howard said Wayne has that sexy New York accent going on. He said he's never heard it so bad. He let him go after that.
Howard said he found Lisa a prince. Lisa said that honesty is good. Howard said it can make you throw up too though.
Howard said he thinks Lisa should give it a try. He said that they both need to open up. He said Wayne needs to open up emotionally and Lisa needs to open her blouse.
Lisa got back to her news report and went over what she saw out in Los Angeles when she was out there with Gary. Lisa said she spent some time with David Arquette out there. She said that they hung out with him while he was doing some charity work and also at Beacher's Madhouse. She said David said he and Courteney Cox are still talking and trying to work things out.
Lisa said that Whitney Cummings was out there too so she spoke to her about her upcoming TV show. Howard said he thinks that they had something to do with her show getting picked up. Howard said now people will know who she is when she comes on the show. Lisa said that Whitney said they will talk about Howard on the new show and they would like Howard to be on it.
Howard said that he thinks that Lisa is going to hit it off with Wayne and she'll become the next Mrs. Siegel. Howard said he's afraid that Ross Zapin is going to ruin it for her and tell Wayne not to go out with her. Howard said Beth set Tim up with that woman and he thinks that Ross is going to ruin it with her too.
Robin said Ross is away this week so it's safe to set people up. Howard said Ross thinks he knows about every woman and he's like Mr. Matchmaker. Howard said he knows he'll ruin it. Howard said that he hasn't set anyone up since OJ and Nicole. He said that he doesn't want to have another mess like that on his hands. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what song that was he was playing. Fred said it's an album of ukulele songs that Eddie Vedder put out. Howard said it sucks. He said he likes Eddie but this song wasn't so great. Fred said the album is number 2 on the charts. Howard said he hates it. Fred said it's some obscure Pearl Jam song he was playing. Howard said it was obnoxious. Fred said McCartney is into that ukulele thing too. Howard said that he did it on one song. Howard said there's no way he could sit at home and listen to that. He said it's just not good. Howard said there's a reason the ukulele isn't popular. It's just not good.
Howard had Fred play another song off that album. Fred played ''Dream a Little Dream'' and Howard was kind of liking that one. He let that one play all the way through.
Howard said that Bono and The Edge were at the Tony Awards last night. He said that they're trying to sell their awful songs to people. He said that Fred could play any instrumental and he could create a Broadway show. Howard said it's not that hard. Fred played the music and Howard started to sing a song about doing the radio show. He said you don't even need to know the music to make up a song about something. He sang for a minute and then Robin told him to play some of the stuff from the Tony's. Howard ended up playing some of the Tony Awards. He had some of ''How to Succeed in Business'' and some from ''Catch Me If You Can.''
Howard said if your forget the words you can just make it up. You can make a whole play about something like the Anthony Weiner story. He had Fred play some music as he made up the play on the spot. He told the story of Anthony Weiner as if it were a Broadway play.
Howard said he hates Broadway and he won't sit through that crap. Robin said they're not all musicals on Broadway. Howard kept singing his Weiner songs.
Howard played more of the Tony Awards clips. He played some of the bad Spider-Man play songs. Howard laughed as they were playing. Howard said they sound like commercials.
Howard played a clip from Memphis that was played last year. Howard said that they were saying that Broadway wasn't just for gay people anymore and it's for everyone. Robin said ''yeah, but that was so gay.'' Howard said the people who were winning awards all seemed to be gay though.
Howard played some of Neil Patrick Harris' performance on the show where he sang about how the plays aren't just for gays anymore. Howard said that bit went on a little too long. Gary said Neil is a great host for that show though.
Howard and Robin talked about Liza Minelli and why so many gay guys are into her. Gary said that she's a tragic figure that they can relate to in some way. Howard said he can't figure out these songs because it's not really music. It's music with someone talking over it. Gary asked if Howard cares about Bono and The Edge taking the jokes about Spider-Man. Howard wondered why they don't just get out of it. Gary said their reputations are on the line and they've spent so much money on it that they can't give up on it.
Howard played some of Neil Patrick Harris joking about Spider-Man for 30 seconds. He got them all out in 30 seconds. Howard said Neil is good as a host. Robin said he's good on Broadway too.
Howard wondered if that show got any ratings. He had Jon Hein come in with an update. Robin said they were at the Beacon Theater this year, they weren't even at Radio City. She said they must have cut the budget.
Howard said Chris Rock came out in support of Tracy Morgan this weekend but then he came out and changed his tune and said he's against what he said. Howard wondered how all of this came out. Robin said she hasn't seen any footage of it.
Howard read an email from a fan who said they have to get Richard's dad in there when he's in town for the wedding. Howard said he should get him in there.
Howard said he got a note from a friend who told him that Sirius XM put out a press release about Gayle King's interview with Lady Gaga and he couldn't wait to not listen again. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and got in a plug for the Stern Superfan Trivia Challenge that they're going to be holding soon.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. They spent a couple of minutes talking about Richard's wedding and Howard not wanting to go.
Jon ran through a few more things he was going to cover today. They talked about using the electronic calendar thing. Howard said he might shadow Jon for a day to figure out how he does it. Robin asked how he gets things put in it so fast. Jon said with the iPhone you can look at the calendar and put something in while you're talking on speaker. Jon said that battery thing Robin was talking about was nuts. He said he charges his all the time. Robin said she was just doing as she was told. Howard told Robin to just listen to him. He won't steer her wrong.
Howard asked how he puts his vacation days in. Jon said he has an appointment set up for the Thursday's set up for when they're off. Howard asked how he sets it up for every other week. Howard said it changed after that week off. Jon said he lets it go through until it changes again. He said it sounds more complicated than it is. Howard said he needs help. Howard said you need a high IQ to do it.
Robin said she was watching that Bobby Fischer movie and that was a high IQ gone screwy. Howard said he doesn't have to worry about that happening to him.
Howard said he took Beth out to dinner last night and he didn't have time to watch TV. He said he was so busy he didn't have time to read the paper either. Howard said he needs to have another meeting with Jeff to help him out with all of that computer stuff. Howard said he's trying to figure everything out. He said he's getting into RSS feeds and he has no idea what that even means. Howard let Jon go after that. Howard said he'll probably figure it all out and then drop dead.
Howard said he was reading about John Edwards and how he was nailed by his ex wife in a video she made before she died. Howard said she wanted to get revenge on Edwards so she made this secret video where she talked about the affair he was having. Howard said she must also bring up his finances in it. Howard said maybe she said something.
Howard said he was reading about some customer service guy who was getting people to bring their computers into their shower. Howard read the article about that and they said that he was asking his customers to put their bathroom while they shower. They think he was installing software on the computers so he could watch people in their bathrooms.
Howard said he went to Nobu last night around 5:30 and the waiters just having their meeting. He said he opened the place. Howard said he was told he was sitting next to someone famous at some point. It was supposedly one of Keith Richard's ex-wives. He didn't know her though. Howard said he knows people who say they're famous and they're really not. Howard said a lot of stand-up comedians do that. He said if you have to tell people you're famous, you're not famous.
Robin started her news with some Anthony Weiner news. Robin said that he's gone to rehab and she's not sure how that will work. Howard said he read about this guy who was on Celebrity Rehab who was in for sex addiction and now he's out making a porno. Howard said that rehab obviously didn't help. Howard said that Weiner must be hearing from every nut out there. Howard said when he did the Rolling Stone article a couple of months ago he was saying he had anger issues. He said he doesn't have a really bad problem but he was getting letters and phone calls from every nut out there saying they could help him. He said Weiner must be getting the same kind of stuff.
Robin read about John Boehner and how he has had problems with people pronouncing his name and mentioned it can look like ''Boner'' but he's glad it's not Weiner.
Robin had some audio from a parade where people were asked about Weiner's problems. Robin had audio of Andrew Cuomo, Chuck Schumer, Charles Rangle talking about that. Robin said Weiner has been protested lately too. She had some audio of some people talking about why they were protesting him.
Robin had some news about Gabrielle Giffords. Some pictures of her were posted over the weekend and she's smiling and looking okay. Howard said he read about how she has problems putting two sentences together. He said she looks okay but she isn't all better all of a sudden. Howard said that he hasn't seen her posting any pictures of her labia on Twitter. Not one female politician has been brought down by doing something like that. Howard went to break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about Tracy Morgan and the trouble he got into after doing a comedy show last week. Robin said an audience member was offended and went on the internet to describe the act. That's how the story broke. Howard said he wishes that Tracy would come on this show to apologize.
Robin said Russell Crowe was kidding around with Eli Roth on Twitter and he said something about circumcision and it got out and they were accusing him of being anti-Semitic when he was just joking around. Eli Roth came out and defended him over the whole thing. Howard wondered what happened to Russell Crowe's career. Robin said that he gained some weight so he may not be able to play the same roles he used to get.
Robin said there's a report out that says most apples have pesticides in them even after washing. Robin said that other fruits have the same problem.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what the strangest thing is he's used for lubrication when jerking off. Howard said he doesn't use it all the time. He said if he has porn he doesn't really need anything. He said he just rubs it. He said he's not a big lube guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he gets his show at 6pm in Singapore and it's awesome hearing the show at that time. He also said he had some tough words for Robin. He said he thinks that she's a little out of touch with reality. He said she's into that $800 wine and going to third world countries and stuff. Howard said this guy is in Singapore and he's bad mouthing her. Howard got bored with the caller going off on Robin about the way she was talking about Richard's family. The guy got a shout out to his family and friends before Howard let him go.
Robin read about the Miami Heat losing to the Dallas Mavericks last night. Robin had some audio of Lebron James talking about the loss. She had some audio of some other players talking about the game too. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about how John Sununu has come out saying that he doesn't think that Sarah Palin will run for President next year. Howard said she won't run. Howard said she answered that Paul Revere question and sounded like a beauty pageant contestant. Gary said there wasn't even a question. She just heard someone make a comment and she said what she wanted. Howard said he called it a ''gotcha question'' later on when she was asked about it. Howard said he knows less about the real Paul Revere than he did about the band Paul Revere and the Raiders. That led to Howard talking about the band for a minute. Howard said they took all of the fun out of rock and roll dressing up like Paul Revere. Fred played their hit song too. Gary said that Jason told him that they're huge in Branson, Missouri. They played another song, ''Cherokee People'' and spent a minute talking about that.
Robin read about how there's going to be a Navy Seals movie that's going to star actual Navy Seals. Howard said that they should have Jesse Ventura in that. Robin said they will have a scripted movie called ''Act of Valor'' and it should be out in 2012. Howard did another live commercial a short time later.
Robin read about how Octomom is going to be cleaning cars in a bikini. Robin said she was supposed to do that but then her manager came out and said that the car wash is off because the deal they had with the audio detailing company went south. Robin said the place wanted $13 of the $20 they were charging and they had to bring their own towels and soap with them.
Howard said they were trying to get her booked on the show. Gary said they were working out the details abut they have to pay for her flight and all of that. Robin said she may not have a reason to come if she's not doing the car wash.
Robin read about the disappearance of this girl Lauren Spierer and how the family is trying to get information out about their daughter by promoting their web site FindLauren.com.
Robin read about this woman who is accused of killing her daughter after she died and didn't report it for 31 days. Robin said that she should be convicted just based on the 31 days.
Robin had some Tony Awards audio clips that she had Howard play. Robin read about some of the winners from last night.
Robin read about the new Green Lantern movie that's coming out and Howard said he's looking forward to seeing that. They spent a minute talking about that.
Robin had some audio of someone talking about Jim Carrey's new movie where he talks to penguins.
Robin read about Super 8 being number one at the box office this weekend too. She had some audio of Steven Spielberg talking about how good JJ Abrams is as a director. Howard wondered what happened to Spielberg and why he's not making movies anymore. Robin said he makes them once in a while. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:10am.
Benjy asked Gary if any girls come on to him when he goes out there. Gary said that he got nothing. Then he said there were some girls saw him and asked where they were going but that was it.
Jon said that Gary's sunglasses got stolen too. Gary said that they did and it was just an asshole move. He said a lot of people thought that it might have been Pittsburgh Pete who did it. He said he heard that he was calling the news room the week before talking about his trip out there. He didn't show up as far as he knows.
Jon said they'll talk more about that and about other things too. Jon said they're going to talk about Richard wearing the same shorts for a month. He said they'll talk about Howard not liking Broadway and wondering what it is about Broadway that attracts gay people. Gary said he loved ''Book of Mormon'' and he wants to tell Howard that but he's hesitant to send him. He said he can imagine him complaining about him making him go see it.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks Howard should do about Richard's wedding. Gary said he should go. Benjy said he doesn't think it's that important. He thinks that Richard would rather have a better gift than Howard at the wedding. They went to break a short time later.
Richard said he's glad he went to those concerts. He said if Jason wanted to go see Pearl Jam instead of going to his wedding he'd be fine with that too.
Jon said that none of the big players are going to the wedding. He asked if that hurts that Howard could be there and he's not going. Richard said he really doesn't mind. He said that he wants his Fiancee to have a perfect day and it doesn't matter what his feelings are. He said he just wants her to be happy and the most important thing for her is her family and her closest friends will be there.
Richard said he's happy that he found the best person in the world to be at the wedding with. Gary said that must be Sal he's talking about. Richard said he's going to be his best man. Sal was in too so he was talking about how he's done some really bad things at weddings. They talked about how Sal always does inappropriate things at every wedding he goes to.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks Howard should go to the wedding. Sal said if he's going to be miserable there he shouldn't go. Sal said he's been to weddings that he didn't want to be at and he couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. Gary asked Sal if he's ever done something he didn't want to do that he knew he should. Sal said ''Yeah, I go home every day.''
Sal said that Howard has made it clear that he'll be miserable. He said that it's acceptable that he won't be there. Benjy said he's going to be miserable if he goes or if he doesn't go. He'll feel guilty if he's not there. Richard said he shouldn't feel guilty because they'll be fine either way. He said his fiancee is the one who gets stressed out. He said it would be best if he didn't show up because that will lower the stress for her.
The guys asked Richard what he's expecting as a gift from Howard. Richard said he really doesn't know. Gary said that Howard set the bar for them because he said he was going to give $200 if he went to the wedding. Sal said he heard that and said ''Shit!''
Richard said they have about 175 people coming to the wedding and they really don't have room for Lisa G to bring a guest. He said that they had only invited her as one.
Sal said Richard is doing something unusual. They're not going to have assigned seating. Richard said that's one of the most stressful things so they're going to let people sit wherever. Gary said that would make Howard freak out if he showed up and had to sit with one of Richard's aunts or someone. Richard said Yucko will be there so he'd probably sit next to Howard.
Ronnie said he's going to the wedding and he's preparing a speech that he'll never forget. Richard said he told Ronnie that Sal is going to be his best man and Ronnie will be his best old man. Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks Howard should go. Ronnie said that if he's available he should go.
Richard said that High Pitch Mike is going to be making a speech at the wedding too. Jon said it sounds like Sal is going to be the one towing the line. Sal said he has an idea for a speech. Gary said he can see how it's going to go. Sal will drink and then he's going to get alone with his thoughts and he'll think that people will expect him to be funny so he'll get up and do something really wild.
Sal said that he was like Howard's dancing wife at Jason's wedding. He said Howard was telling him to do a lot of stuff that he shouldn't do. He said he's going to go out of his way and not do anything like that at Richard's wedding. Sal said he will make a sincere speech at the wedding and it won't be over the top. Ronnie asked why he can't look Richard in the eye when he says that. Sal said he can say it to his eye.
Sal said he doesn't want to offend Kristen so he won't do anything to ruin the wedding. Sal said he knows he has to watch himself so he'll cut back on the Kettle One that night.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard is being a complete asshole by not going. He said he doesn't have to be a total prick about it. He said that he got to spend some time with Richard and Sal in New York and they were great. He said Howard is being a prick about it and it's very hurtful. Richard said he appreciates the support. He said that's Howard's decision though so he's fine with whatever he decides.
Benjy said he thinks Howard is giving his real thoughts on this on the air. Gary said he thinks he is too.
Jon took some more calls and they ended up talking to Benjy about how he's still not married. Benjy said he doesn't feel any pressure to get married.
Jon asked Richard if he's okay that none of the major players on the show are going to show up. Richard said he's fine with it. He said that the people they hang out with a lot are coming so that's what counts. Jon asked if he's going to give Howard a number for the gift. Richard said that would be tacky. He said he's going to let Howard give whatever he wants. He said he's fine with that.
Jon asked Richard why he decided to change his shorts today. Richard said they were getting a little funky. He said they had gotten wet and got moldy or something. Gary said he sweats in them too though. Richard said he has underwear on so he never washes his jeans or shorts. Gary asked if he puts on fresh underwear every day. Richard said he does now that he runs. He said he showers every day too. He's been running 6 or 7 days a week. He said when he wasn't sweating so much he didn't do that so much. They went to break a short time later.
Gary had spelled the word Rhythm wrong earlier in the morning so Gary just said he was wrong and ended it there.
Gary said that Steve is a pretty bad speller too. Steve said he admits to that. Gary said bad spelling is not the sign of intelligence. Gary said that Sal is a retard. He said he got a 102 IQ and that's 3 away from retard. JD said he's only 3 away from Sal. He thanked Gary for pointing that out.
JD talked about how he won a Little League trophy so he keeps that around. The guys goofed on him about that and Sal was asking if he shows it off when he's talking to girls on the web cam. JD told him to shut up. The guys were mentioning other things he does but he cut them off before they could finish.
JD won a spelling bee when he was a kid too so the guys talked to him about that. JD said that he's not perfect when it comes to spelling so it doesn't drive him nuts when someone spells ''you're'' without the apostrophe.
Jon asked the guys what they think will happen with Lisa G and Wayne Siegel. Gary said Jon should say what he said earlier about how he thinks it has disaster written all over it. Gary said he'd like to see Lisa have sex and Wayne have a good time so he hopes it works out. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how he didn't get to sleep until 11:30 last night. He had to hit the Ambien. Howard said Beth was out and he was watching TV doing fine. Then he went to bed and she came home. He said they started talking and he had taken pictures for Hamptons magazine and one of the pictures might end up on the cover. He said he got all charged up and he was sending them high resolution pictures and then he was checking his email to see if they had gotten back to him. He was all worked up over that.
Howard said he had to stop playing chess because he was getting too obsessive about it. He said he may have to do that with photography. Howard said he also got obsessed over a thing he felt in his ear and thought it might be a tick. He said he thinks he has that in there so he was going crazy over that. Howard told Gary to get someone to come in and check it out. He just wants to know he doesn't have one in there.
Howard said he caught up on TV last night. He said he caught up on The Voice. He said he liked it in the beginning better than he does now. Howard said there were a lot of ugly looking people singing. He can tell why they're not stars. Howard said they have women with shaved heads too and that must be a new thing. He said he thought they had cancer. Howard said one of them is a lez who wants to look like a dude and the other one he's not sure about. Robin said she's thought of shaving her head. Howard told her to do it. Robin said she's not sure what her head would look like. Howard said she may end up with a dent in it.
Howard said he watched ''Fire and Ice'' which was the story of Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe. Robin didn't think there was that much fire going on in that. Howard said he loved the story and he enjoyed the show. Howard said he knows John and his parents from living on Long Island. He said John has been to his home. Robin said she's heard he's a son of a bitch. Howard said he sees a different side of him. He said maybe he knows them on a different level. Robin said she's heard things from people about him and she's not so sure he's a nice guy. Howard said he thinks he is.
Howard said he likes tennis and also that Bobby Fischer movie on HBO. He said that when you're number one in the world, you're number one. He said he appreciated the effort that went into becoming number one in tennis. He said that he has a team there for his show but they've strived to be number one over the years. He said he thought it was a very interesting documentary and he liked it. He's giving a big thumbs up for the audience.
Robin said she was a little disappointed in that. She said there have been better rivalries over the years. She told Howard about some of those. She said there was one between Martina Navratilova and someone else.
Howard said you watch golf and you see how psychological it is. Howard said you see Tiger Woods and how he's been ruined by the whole thing he went through. Howard said he doesn't have that concentration he needed to get through the game. Howard said it was weird how Borg was talking about how the desire to be number one had just left him. He found that really interesting.
Robin said they have very special skills to get there and then when a challenger appears they think it's really hard work and it's time to leave.
Howard said some of these guys have girls come into their life and they get distracted. He said their whole focus changes and they get into the family life and lose the desire to be a champion. Robin said that Borg tried to go out and become a businessman. He ended up losing all of his money by being a clothing designer.
Howard said that he sent his notes into Will and Will told him that they canceled once again. Howard said Paris' mom seems like a really nice woman. He said he's met her out a few times but that doesn't mean she knows how to raise children. Howard said you root for her show to fail because of what she does. Howard said she describes that she's a singer but she's really not. He said she says she's a businesswoman too and she's not. Howard said someone is paying for her name.
Howard said Paris is really a horrible person. He said it shows in her TV show. Howard said she's never embarrassed by anything she does. Howard said she flaunts her wealth and she gets people fired. He said it's a testament to how low a human being can sink. He said that's why he enjoys watching it.
Howard said Paris' best friend is Charlie Sheen's ex-wife and she makes the show. Howard said it's a terrific show and he will continue to watch it. He said he would tell the ladies that if they called in this morning. He said Paris is not human and she's despicable in every way. That's what he would have told them this morning if they had called in.
Howard said the boys went out and did a survey and asked people who they hate more, Paris or Howard. Howard played the tape and Howard got the most votes. Howard also played tape of them asking between Howard and Hitler. Howard didn't get any votes there. Howard said that was good news.
Howard said he asked JD to spell Litigious and he spelled it wrong. Howard said he's not that good. He asked him to spell something else for him. He told him to spell Sandinista. JD asked him to use it in a sentence. Howard said ''I asked a guy to spell Sandinista.''
Howard asked JD to spell Ablution. JD didn't know what that was. Howard told him what it was and he was able to spell it correctly. Howard then asked him to spell abysmal. He spelled that right too. Howard said he looked like a winner in 6th grade. JD said he had a girlfriend back then.
Howard asked JD to spell Connecticut. JD pulled that off too. Howard asked if he was wearing a Hammer Time t-shirt. JD said it was a free shirt so he would wear that. It was actually a Thor t-shirt. Howard said he thought it was an MC Hammer shirt. Fred played the MC Hammer song. Howard said there isn't anything better than that. JD said he's doing computer stuff now making money. JD said he likes ''Too Legit to Quit'' better than that song. Howard said he had those big genie pants on back then. He asked if he still wears those. JD said he doesn't.
Howard told JD to give him the MC Hammer dance. JD didn't know how to do it. Howard said that guy was good. Robin said those songs haven't been played in a long time. Howard said he had the top 5 songs and they weren't better than that. The top 5 included Jennifer Lopez, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Pit Bull featuring Neo and finally, Adele.
Howard spent a little time talking about how popular Katy has become. Howard got back to JD and talked about how he needs to work on getting chicks. He said that he should talk to Neil Strauss about that. He said he'd be like his Yoda.
Howard asked what he was talking about. JD said he had some Paris Hilton clips. He told Howard that he's not sure why Paris has an assistant but she does. Howard said everyone in show business seems to have an assistant. That's Charlie Sheen's ex-wife. Howard said he's not going to play any clips. JD said he was just pitching it.
Howard said he has never walked through his gym with his shirt off. He said this guy is shirtless in his gym all the time. Howard said if you want to turn a woman on, don't send a nude picture of yourself unless you're Mr. Universe. He said that if you're a nice guy and you take a shower every day women will be turned on. They don't think like guys do.
Howard read some letters that people sent into the NY Post. He read through some of those and people were pointing out that he didn't have any physical contact with these women but he's being treated worse than presidents who have cheated. Howard said he's not sure if he's going to resign or not. Robin said that they may find out soon because his wife is coming home and he said he wanted to talk to her in person about that.
Howard said he should just tell his wife he has no defense. He said he likes that she's pregnant too. He said he can't imagine that she's going to stay with him. Robin said if he resigns then maybe she won't feel the same way about him that she used to.
Howard said he knew a guy in his building in Washington DC who left his wife during the pregnancy. He said the women by the pool would get upset that he left her during that time. Howard said they said he should wait until the baby is born. Howard said he didn't know there were rules. Robin said that you do get into that project together. He said that they're just seeing it through.
Howard read another note from a guy who said that Weiner should be given another chance. He said everyone makes mistakes. Howard said people are forgiving in a way. Robin said he's going to have to deal with this for a long time.
Howard said that they're probably telling Tracy he's going to have to marry a man to get through this. He said he can't imagine what really goes on in that room.
Gary came in and said that Tracy is working with GLAAD now. Gary gave Howard the article he had. Howard read through that.
Howard read that Tracy has agreed to do some PSAs for anti-bullying. Gary asked how he's supposed to take the guy seriously when he's doing stuff like that. Howard said that he's agreed to meet with some youth who have been left homeless because their parents abandoned them. Howard said he thinks he's also agreed to take a dick in his ass. Howard said that must have been some meeting.
Howard said he might end up being a very big gay advocate. He read that he's doing some other meetings with people who have lost kids to bullying. Howard said he would love to see that as an HBO special.
Howard asked Robin what it was like in her household when it came to gays. Robin said there were gay people around but they were never told what it was. She said no one ever did anything bad to them and they all spoke. She said they had them to cook outs and things and it was sort of accepted. Howard said he was lucky that way too. He said his family was very tolerant. He said that they used to set up his gay cousin on dates. He said his mom was running the gay dating game in the 60s. Howard said his mom wondered what all of the carrying on was about the gays.
Howard said when you're raised in a family that's the opposite of that then you get brainwashed. He said it's weird. Howard said it might have a lot to do with what you're exposed to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that on Out Q there were people claiming that Tracy had come on to some guys. Howard laughed. The caller said there was a porn star who said that he was slutty and that was his type. Howard said he knows Tracy and he's not sure about that. Robin said he only knows them from the show. Howard said he sat with Tracy at the Knicks game too. He said he doesn't buy it.
The caller told Howard he has a good friend who is bi-sexual and he doesn't know it. Howard asked who it was. The caller said he's not going to say who it is. The caller said this guy is known to be bi-sexual and he is a guest and a friend. Howard asked if it was Jimmy Kimmel. Howard said gay guys love to drop bombs like that and run. Howard said he knows it's not Stamos. The caller hung up. Howard said Stamos is only into women. Howard said maybe it's Tim Sabean. He asked who else it could be.
Speech said there was a Superman thing up in Metropolis. He went to the festival this weekend. Howard said he thinks that Wolfie went up there. He said they thought it would be funny. Speech said he offered to go but they wanted to send ''Woofie'' there instead. Howard said he likes the way he says ''Woofie.''
Speech said they had a museum up there and it was interesting. Howard cut him off and said his speech impediment was very tiring. He had to cut him off.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's been watching the stuff that Howard has been suggesting to watch on TV. He said that he's watching everything that Howard mentions. Howard said he knows he has good taste, that's why he does that. Howard said he watched the Tony's and watched the whole thing in 5 minutes. He said he fast forwarded through the horrible music and it cut it down to 5 minutes. He said he knows Francis McDormond so he had to see her. Howard said he had to see Chris Rock too.
Howard said that Christie Brinkley was looking really good. He said she looks 20. Howard said she must have a great surgeon. Robin said that good genetics helps. Howard said his genetics aren't helping him. He said his were supposed to be wiped out in World War II by the Nazis.
Howard asked Gary if he was able to find someone to look in his ear. He said he needs to find out if he has a tick in there. Gary asked if he really thinks he has a tick in there. Howard said no but he wants to know what's in there. Gary said they have some doctors there and he's not sure when they get there. They have that Doctor Radio show there. Fred threw in a ''I am Dr. Remulac'' clip while they were talking about that. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and said they had a little ''Floyd'' there. He said it's cool to leave out the Pink and just say Floyd. He let the song play a little longer and then said that Riley Martin had gotten into a fight with a caller the other night. He said the guy was trying to say that Riley beat women and Riley started screaming about some other guy. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about but it didn't matter. He said that it was great hearing him yelling.
Howard played the clip from Riley's show where he got into the argument with the caller. The caller had asked him what the best way is to slap a woman around because he knows he has a history of that. Riley claims he doesn't have a history and whoever told him that is wrong. Riley and the caller went back and forth arguing about that. Riley said he never did that but the caller said this Dominic guy had said he did. Riley said Dominic is wrong. He told the caller to ask him to send him the proof. Riley told the guy he's an idiot. They were talking over each other the whole time.
Howard wondered why Riley keeps him on the air. He said that he's a glutton for punishment. Howard wondered who this Dominic guy was. They talk about him like we know who he is. Even Riley's co-host didn't know who this Dominic was.
Howard said he always thought that E-Ron wouldn't be around for long. He said the guy has dedicated his whole life to Riley. He said he's not sure he could drink the Kool-Aid that way. Robin said that E-Ron had the statement of the day when he said ''Dominic who?''
Steve said that Mariann from Brooklyn showed up dressed like Howard Stern on Monday morning. She was left outside trying to get in. Howard said he thought he heard her out there. Howard said he didn't even see it. He said he asked Ronnie if he heard his name and Ronnie said it was Mariann out there. Howard said he just forgot about it. He said he didn't know that she was dressed up as him. Howard said her whole perception is that they won't let her up there. Howard wondered why she was there that day. Steve said she's paying tribute to Howard like Lady Gaga's fans do with her.
Howard said maybe he should have had her up there but she's usually a dud when she does get on. He said she wants to be kooky but she's really not. He said she has that funny voice and that's about it. She's just a housewife.
Steve said they have an update about a death of a former intern that worked there. He said that they're trying to outlaw some bath salts. Robin said this is a new thing that can get kids high. Howard wondered who the first kid was who did bath salts. Robin said kids will snort, chew and eat anything. Howard said he's going to smoke his toothpick. Steve said they're trying to outlaw the bath salts in New Jersey.
Howard said he pictures Robin using bath salts. Robin said she has used them in her bath. Howard said she loves to luxuriate. Robin said she does. Howard said he has a hard time with that. He said she's so fem and he can't talk guy stuff with her. Howard said he doesn't get the whole bath salts thing is. Steve said it can cause severe psychotic episodes.
Steve said that a 22 year old bicyclist was hit and killed while riding across the country. Steve said that Sussy is still out on his trip around the world. Howard said that his wife almost passed out the other day from heat exhaustion. After that Steve got in some plugs for Jackie the Joke Man and Riley Martin's shows that are on tonight.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the bath salts are sold in head shops and they're just marketed as bath salts and they're really more like drugs. He said they're trying to ban the stuff around the country. Howard said they're not really bath salts then. The guy said that it's like $100 for a gram of this stuff. Howard thanked the guy for the call and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back laughing as the prank calls were being played. They were calling in with clips of Jeff the Vomit guy and things like that. Howard got a laugh out of that. Howard also talked about the way the host goes into a commercial with that echo on his voice. He was just yelling at guys and then goes right into that commercial. Howard goofed on that guy for a short time.
Howard said he used to make prank calls as a kid to a local pharmacy. He said he still has the tape and wishes he could play them. He said he doesn't have the guy's permission though. Howard told Robin about what he would ask the guy and how he would try to seduce the guy for 10 to 15 minutes.
Sal said they called a woman back in the day calling a woman by the name of Farman and Howard played the part of Fartman looking for his mom. Howard said he doesn't think he liked that call. Sal said he did because they played it a few times at K-Rock. Howard wasn't sure he wanted to play that one but Sal told him it's good.
Howard asked Sal if he was into comic books. Sal said he didn't have time for that shit. Howard played the Green Lantern chant that all of the Lanterns say while they're powering up. Howard said he likes that.
Howard played the call that Sal told him about. Howard said he used to do the Fartman phone calls that he liked but he wasn't sure he'd like this one. Howard played the call and said he hated it after about 10 seconds. Howard said he's sure there's no punch line to this one. Sal told him it was good. Howard played more of it and the woman was all confused and had no idea who Fartman was. Howard said it isn't good. Sal said they played it at least 4 times at K-Rock. Howard told Sal not to bring out his secondary shit. He told him to get out of there.
Howard said he has a bunch of great calls he's made and this one wasn't one of them. He said this is a reject. Howard said Sal is a reject and he outthinks him every step of the way. Gary told Howard that Sal always comes to him and asks if he can come in. He said he didn't do that this time and he knows he did it because he would have said no. Howard said he brought the whole show down and brought him down. Howard asked how he can bypass Gary. Robin said Sal thinks he knows he's on to something so he bypasses him. Howard said Sal is stupid. He said he heard him on the Wrap Up Show yesterday doing dumb things.
Howard played some clips of Sal doing some spelling and trying to explain what a rendezvous is. Sal kind of knew what it was but not really. Howard said that they have a rule there that Sal has to go to Gary before coming into the studio and he should have done that today. Robin said that Sal and Richard tend to like what they do so they have to run it by Gary first.
Howard said he didn't have anyone to look up to when he was growing up. He said there weren't any great radio guys. He said he's better than all of them so he didn't have anyone to look up to. He said that he couldn't look up to Cousin Brucie. That led to him doing his Brucie impression for a short time.
Howard talked about how great Spielberg is as a film maker and how JJ must have dropped a load in his pants when he got to hang out with him. Howard said he heard that Spielberg heard the title ''Super 8'' and bought the film. Robin said he used to make movies using super 8 so that might be why.
Howard said JJ's wife was really hot and he was talking to her at dinner. He said if he was single he'd take her right away from JJ. He said he's s despicable human being and he would do that without even thinking about it. He said that he wants to take away his woman.
Howard said that they'll see JJ in there in a few minutes and talk to him about how great his life is. He said his office is full of games and figures and that kind of stuff. Robin said that George Lucas' office is like that. They have all of the Star Wars stuff in there. Robin said they allow it in the employees cubicles too. She said that one person had everything you can imagine in this cubicle. Howard said if you act like you're 5 then you're creative.
Howard said that Spielberg started making adult films and he got boring. Howard said he wanted him to make a fun E.T. type film after that Nazi stuff.
Howard asked if they got that through Vinnie Favale. Gary said that they did and Vinnie had told Mark that he did a great job with the song. Howard said maybe they should give Mark a show there. Robin said he might be good with John the Stutterer.
Howard said there's a radio show called ''Mike and Mike'' and they had this guy Ron Harper call in. Howard said he heard this on the internet and Ron had called the show and he's a stutterer. Howard said he didn't know that and no one acknowledged that he was stuttering. He said you'd think they'd acknowledge it but they didn't bother.
Howard played the clip and Ron wasn't stuttering much at first. He eventually started letting out a few big stutters and no one said a thing about it. Howard wondered what you're supposed to do when that starts happening. He said maybe they knew about it and thought it was funny. Howard played more of Ron's stuttering and he had a pretty heavy stutter.
Howard had a clip of this anchor woman from Roanoke, Virginia who drops the F-bomb. Howard played that clip and the anchor said ''having fuck'' instead of ''having luck.''
Howard said he had a bunch of tapes that he hasn't played in a while. He said he was mentioned on Jeopardy again but he doesn't care about that. Howard said he had a Baba Booey mention from HLN. He played that one where a caller got on and threw out a ''Baba Booey'' after asking about a suspect that they were talking about.
Howard took a call from a woman who congratulated him on his photography and getting on the cover. Howard said he's not sure it's going to be on the cover. He said they have to wait and see. Howard said the only reason they want it on the cover is because he's famous and he shot the picture. He said he's not delusional. Robin said it would be great if they took a hazy picture and put it on the cover. Howard said it's a good picture.
Howard said there are people who make a living in photography and don't know a thing about it. He said cameras are so good now that you can get away with it. He said that he knows very little and the more he learns the worse he gets.
The caller said her boyfriends shoots many famous people and he shot Beth. Howard asked if he uses RAW or Jpeg? She said he uses Jpeg. She said he uses a similar camera to Howard's. The caller said that her boyfriend shot Beth when she was in her 20s and she said he's willing to give lessons if Howard wants them. Howard said that doesn't mean he's a good teacher. He said if you're a good photographer that doesn't mean he's a good teacher. She said she taught a class so he's a good teacher. Howard thanked her for the offer and let her go.
Howard said he just knows he wishes he knew everything now. He said that he wishes that they could download the knowledge into his head. Robin said the learning is the best part of it from what she's heard. Howard said he has to take a break before JJ comes in. Gary said he only has a little while and he has to be out of there by 8:45. Howard said no one even knows who he is so he's going to stay there as long as he wants him to. They went to break a short time later.
Howard asked JJ if he's like a photographer that understands the visuals. JJ said that he thinks he knows what he wants when he gets there but then he changes his mind and sometimes figures you can't do it that way. He said you have to figure it out and not look like you don't know what you're doing.
Howard asked JJ about going on set and shooting maybe half a page a day. JJ said sometimes you can shoot a few pages a day. JJ told Howard he used to read about special effects and he knows how to tell the guys what he wants. He said in Super 8 he didn't storyboard the train crash. He said he just wanted to go there and work it out on the spot. He said he told the special effects guys what he wanted to do and he did it by the seat of his pants. Howard asked if he shoots it from every angle. JJ said they had some kids who had never done this kind of thing before. He said they had the time of their lives.
JJ said that the main kid in the movie had never been on the set of a movie before. He said the kid asked if the stars on the script were for decoration. They were marking the changes in the script. He said he loved that. JJ said the kid was great but he really didn't know what it was like on the set.
Howard said a lot of the kids have parents who push their kids into this stuff. JJ said they didn't want stage parents. He said the main kid they got lives in Idaho. He said that the parents weren't stage parents and they were just nice, sweet people.
JJ said they had this acting teacher tell them about this kid who was taking classes once a month and that's the kid they went with.
Howard said that a lot of kids don't go anywhere after doing a movie like this. Howard asked what they have to pay these kids. JJ said he's not sure. Howard asked if he can make $600,000. JJ said that's a little high. He said it might be $100,000 or so. He said this is their first shot in a movie so they're not going to make a lot.
Howard asked JJ about the movie taking so long to make and how he had to push off Star Trek 2. JJ said they're about 6 months behind on that one. JJ said they haven't finished the script yet. Howard asked if the studio is upset that he has so many things in the works. He has a couple of new TV shows in the works and he has this Super 8 movie. Howard asked if he's making a money grab or is he serious. JJ said the TV shows are just under his production company. He said that he didn't write them. JJ told Howard about who wrote them and how he has helped with the stories and things like that.
Howard asked JJ about his office and if he has it filled with toys. JJ said he does. He said Howard should come over and check it out. Howard asked what he has in his office. JJ said he has stuff he had when he was a kid. He said he has Twilight Zone toys and Planet of the Apes masks and things like that.
Howard said he has to remain child like to be a good director. He said he thinks that Spielberg was like that but he threw away all of his toys. JJ said you don't want to be child like. He told Howard he has to come and hang out to see what it's like. He said you don't stay child like, you just want to believe that anything is possible.
Howard said as a kid JJ had an advantage of having a father who was a TV movie producer. Howard said when you grow up in a family like that you see how films are made and it's not so intimidating to do it. Howard said you have to be exposed to all of this stuff at a young age to know how to do it. He said that's what this book ''10,000 Hours'' is about.
JJ said that Steven Spielberg made movies as a kid and they were good. He said that he had access to express himself and make movies and you don't need all of that to make movies. He said that he did get to visit the set though so he did get to see some TV Shows being made. Howard asked what his father did. JJ said his father produced TV movies of the week. He said he did one called ''Ski Lift to Death'' with Don Johnson in it.
Howard asked if his father is still doing that. JJ said his father is still doing it even though they don't do it that much. Howard said JJ has surpassed his father in every single way. He asked how hard that makes it for him. JJ said his father is still working and he's very happy for him.
Howard asked if his dad would tell him to shut up if he said he wanted to make movies as a kid. JJ said his dad wasn't like Howard's dad. He didn't tell him to shut up.
Howard asked JJ when he knew he had made it and he could tell his father he has surpassed him and that he's nothing. JJ said he was in college and he was lucky enough to sell a treatment to someone at Disney. He said it was a movie called ''Taking Care of Business'' and he ended up with John Belushi and Charles Grodin. That wasn't a success but they did the best they could. He said that he was willing to take anything at that point. He said that was his senior year of college so he was lucky to have gotten that out there.
Howard asked about selling it and if he opened an office. JJ said he had a trailer on the set of Disney and he got a discount at Disneyland. He said he wrote a script called ''Regarding Henry'' next. That was with Harrison Ford. Howard asked if he went in and pitched that Harrison Ford becomes a retard. JJ said he just wrote the script and someone read it and it was sold.
Howard asked if it's true that Spielberg bought into Super 8 just based on the title. JJ said he has gotten to know Steven over the years and he called him and told him about it and he bought into it. Howard said at 15 JJ was working for Steven. JJ said he was making movies at the age of 15 and he was watching a TV show where they talked about making movies. He said he called into this show and got invited on. He said he met some other guys who eventually got him into this job where he was asked to help repair movies that Steven had made when he was their age. JJ said he thought that was insane. He said there are no copies of the movie so he was entrusting 15 year old strangers to work on them. JJ said it makes no sense at all. He said he got paid $300 to repair the two movies. He said one was ''Firelight'' and the other was ''Escape to Nowhere.'' He said he spent about a month working on them. JJ said that they had to buy some editing equipment to work on it. He said he never met Steven at that time. He said all they were doing was repairing the splicing on the movies.
Howard asked JJ if he's more of a writer than a director. JJ said he doesn't consider himself a writer. He thinks of himself as a director. He said he does write but he thinks he's more of a director. Howard said he even composes music. JJ said he does all of that but he's not great at it. He won an award for the Lost theme but that's just one note. Howard asked JJ if he has texted pictures of his penis to young girls. JJ said he has not done that.
Howard asked when he met Spielberg. JJ said he met him in 1999. He said that Spielberg wanted to do a sequel for Roger Rabbit and he was called into a meeting. Howard said that must have been his hero. Howard said he must have looked up to him. JJ said it must be weird for Howard to have no one to look up to and he's the one that everyone looks up to.
Howard asked JJ if he shit his pants when he met Spielberg. JJ said he remembers calling his buddy Matt on his way home from the meeting freaking out about the whole thing. He said he had no idea where he was driving when he called his friend on his giant cell phone. JJ said he didn't get the job working on Roger Rabbit but he got to meet with Spielberg. JJ said that Spielberg had 3 other people in the room when he met him. Howard asked if he called him Steve or Steven or Mr. Spielberg. JJ said he's pretty sure he called him Mr. Spielberg.
Howard asked how he got to do more with Spielberg. JJ said he did some writing for the Casper movie and when they did War of the Worlds he had them come over to help write. He said he was doing the Lost pilot at the time so he had to turn that down.
Howard asked what he's doing on this new Mission Impossible movie. JJ said he's producing that one. Howard said he must be raking in the bucks. JJ said ''Oh please...'' Howard said he has to be doing very well but JJ was making it sound like he's not doing so well. JJ said there are times that you feel like you're at the top of the world. He said there are times when the TV shows don't do well and you're just one gig away from failing.
Howard said JJ did Felicity and then he did Lost. He said he has Fringe as well. He has two new ones coming out and he's working on Mission Impossible and the Star Trek franchise. Howard said he figured he was worth a lot of money. JJ said when a TV show fails it's heartbreaking. He said that he had Under Cover and that failed. JJ said he didn't work on the script enough. Howard asked if he was spread too thin. JJ said maybe he was.
Howard asked if he's a workaholic. JJ said he is but he spends a lot of time with the kids. He said he's not an absentee dad. Howard asked if he's always thinking of story lines and ideas. JJ said that he does that a lot.
Howard asked what he does when he comes up with an idea like Super 8. JJ said he just thought of the world of it at first. He said he had a concept and called Steven about that. He said he knew that he had done that. He said he called him and asked if he would like to produce a movie with him called Super 8. He said yes without any idea of what it was going to be about. Howard asked if he goes to his house. JJ said he does and he goes over as much as he can because his house is amazing. Howard asked if he's still making movies. JJ said he has two movies coming out this winter. He said one is animated. He said he's doing a couple of others too. He said it's insane what he has coming out.
Howard asked if his dad begs him to introduce him to Spielberg. JJ said he has introduced them but his dad didn't beg.
JJ told Howard about a party he went to at Spielberg's house and Mickey Rooney was there. Howard said he would have left if he was there. JJ said that Mickey told stories about how he had named Marilyn Monroe and Mickey Mouse was named after him and things like that. JJ said that he told stories that just made you go ''What!?'' He said the evening was insane. Mickey sang a song at dinner and it was incredible.
Howard asked if Mickey dropped the bomb on Hiroshima too. Howard did an impression of Steven and Howard said he knows that the guy doesn't like him. He said he's passed him by before and the guy won't even look at him.
Howard asked JJ if it drives him crazy that he has to do well with a film like this or the studio won't be happy. JJ said that it always drives him crazy. He said Steven doesn't even want to know anything before Sunday. JJ said that this movie doesn't have big stars starring in it so that's not going to draw the people to it.
JJ said that he used to love those movies that Steven made in the 80s and this was kind of a throw back to that kind of thing. He said that he hasn't seen that kind of genre movie in a long time.
Howard asked if Spielberg has a lot of toys in his house. JJ said he doesn't have any E.T. toys in there. Howard asked if it was terrifying showing his movie to Steven. JJ said it was. He said his heart was pounding and he couldn't believe he was showing him this movie. He said they sat down and watched it and Steven can look and see how it's going to work even if it's not finished. He said that he would keep hitting him like he was telling him it was a scene that would work. JJ said Steven can see what's going to work. JJ said he got emotional at one point and he knew it could work with the right music but it wasn't even in there yet and Steven could see it.
Howard asked what his wife wears in the pool or on the beach. JJ said she wears a one piece. Howard asked why she won't wear a bikini. JJ said she grew up in Maine so they're not into that up there. Howard said he wants to come to his house and sit by the pool with his wife. JJ said he's invited him but he never comes.
Howard gave JJ a plug for the new movie and said that this is good for him. Howard asked what he's doing today. Gary said he's on a satellite TV tour. JJ said he'd like to stay. He said it's his favorite thing being there. Howard told him to stick around for a few minutes.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw Super 8 and it was great but they fucked up the end of Lost. JJ said he loved it and thought it was amazing. The caller asked what the island was. JJ told him to get Damon (Lindeloff) on the phone and ask him. Howard asked what the island is. He said he can't leave until he answers. JJ said the island was real and everything that happened, happened. Howard asked what the black smoke was. JJ said you can't describe what magic is. Robin said she was lost so the title was appropriate. Howard said he must be bull shitting. Howard said they probably weren't supposed to know what it was. He asked what the black smoke was. JJ said he left in the first season of Lost so Damon and Carlton were running the show. He said they could answer that better. Howard said that's a cop out.
Another caller asked what kind of advice JJ had for someone trying to get their first feature made. Howard said he can answer that. He said there is no advice. He said that everyone gets there on their own.
JJ said that anyone can make a movie these days with the equipment that's out there. He said you can just go make a movie and the advice he would give is that you just go make a movie. He said that the Cannon 5D is an amazing camera that you can make one with.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he doesn't have to kiss his ass on all of this. He said that it's interesting to just a few people. Howard asked who ruined it. The caller said that it was JJ who was ruining it. The caller said he respects that he's accomplished and all of that but he doesn't care. Gary came back in and said that he really has to go. Howard said according to the caller he was there too long already.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he thinks that the interview is great. He asked JJ if the fact that he's Jewish helped get into the business. JJ jokingly said that it's mostly about that. Howard said that's how you make it in the business. It has nothing to do with your talent. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said that he thought that second to last caller was a douche nozzle. He said that he thought it was an interesting interview with JJ. He said that he thought that Fred had missed a teed up thing that he could have played a clip in. Howard cut him off and thanked him for the call. He said he had no idea where that guy was going.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon came in with the preview but Howard noticed that Benjy was missing. Howard said everyone is back except for Benjy. Robin said he's doing a show out in the hall. Jon said he had that cast thing off his leg and then he put it back on.
Howard asked Benjy where he was and if he can work out getting back in there on time. Benjy said they were doing an interview with his doctor for the behind the scenes thing.
Jon got into his preview and ran down what they'd be going over today. They spent a minute talking about ''Lost'' and what JJ had to say about that. Howard said he was still lost and confused. Jon said that JJ was only there for one season so he's not sure what was going on there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she thought the interview with JJ was fantastic. She didn't think that caller was right earlier. Howard said he can't please everyone.
Howard said that was nice. He said he got some nice email yesterday too. Howard read some about his Broadway singing and how great they thought that was. Howard said a lot of people wrote in about Green Lantern after he gave the history of the character. That led to Howard and Robin talking about that. Howard said he wasn't a huge Green Lantern fan but he did read it. Howard said the fans corrected him on what he said about Hal Jordan yesterday. Howard said they told him the first Green Lantern was Alan Scott, not Hal Jordan.
Howard said he had someone requesting that they have Tom Chiusano in the studio to talk to him. The writer thought that would be funny. Howard said he's not sure what would be funny about that.
Howard said someone wrote in about setting Lisa G up with a guy. Howard said this person thinks that Lisa G needs a woman and not a man.
Howard said that someone wrote in about the Eddie Vedder Ukulele album. The writer thought Howard sounded stupid talking about how the instrument isn't that loved.
Howard said he got some compliments in the email. Someone said the first hour of yesterday's show was perfect. Another person thought that he was great doing the ''blinking out a story'' bit he did about the guy who wasn't able to speak.
Howard said he read that Clarence Clemons is doing very well and he's making a remarkable recovery so far. Robin said that happens and you have to wait for swelling to go down before you know how bad it was. Robin said that Lady Gaga was tweeting about Clarence and she was asking her little monsters to pray for him since they had worked together.
Howard read some feedback about his comments on Richard's wedding. Howard said some people were upset with what he was saying and some people said that he's become ''Hamptons Howie'' and won't go to his wedding. Howard said there's so much jealousy out there. People were telling him to just go to the wedding and to ''just shit or get off the Toto (toilet).'' Howard said he'd prefer not to go but he wants to show how much Richard means to him. He said he's having a hard time with the whole thing and he's bringing everyone into it.
Robin read that Fran Drescher is saying that her best friend is her gay ex-husband. Robin said that he apparently called her up and said he was dating men after they broke up. Howard said he thought he looked a little gay. He said he's just saying that. He didn't think he seemed gay at all. Robin said that Fran is doing a new TV show where she finds out her husband is gay.
Robin read about how Arnold Schwarzenegger's illegitimate son is saying he didn't know Arnold was his father. He just knew that he liked giving him gifts. Howard and Robin were wondering where Arnold was hiding. Howard said Gary should call Mike Walker and ask him if he knows. Howard told him to make that call now. Gary said he'd also call and get sponsors to offer money to get Arnold to call in. Howard said maybe Mike is awake now. Gary said that he didn't know he wanted him to do it now. Howard said he saw that he had a sticky not he was writing on.
Gary said he had a lot going on in there so he didn't hear the whole conversation. Howard said maybe they're not functioning properly. Gary said Jason just said that he thinks he meant right now so that's why he asked.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about the most influential dads on TV. Howard talked about some of those people and said he thought that Jed Clampett was a good dad. Robin read about who came out on the top of this list. Robin went through the top 10 and they had the fathers from Leave it to Beaver, Happy Days, Little House on the Prairie, Home Improvement, Bonanza and a bunch of others.
Robin read about a man in Poland who rode a horse into a woman's house trying to impress her. Robin said the guy was half naked. He's facing 5 years in jail.
Howard said he read that the sequel to the Human Centipede is so horrible that they can't even show it anywhere. Howard said that the first one was bad. He said this evil doctor sewed people's mouths to the asses of other people to make a centipede. Howard said he's reading about the sequel and they're not letting it be shown. He said that the sequel has a guy getting obsessed with a DVD of the first one and then he does the same and in one scene he rapes a woman with barb wire wrapped around his penis. Howard said it was banned from being shown in the UK and they have banned about a dozen others over the years. Howard said that they should have a marathon of the movies that they've banned in the UK. Howard said the description of this movie is great. He wondered who the actors are in the movie. He said he has to get a copy of that.
Robin read that Montel Williams is opening a medical marijuana dispensary in California. Robin said that he's been using it himself for years. Robin said that he's doing infomercials.
Howard had Mike Walker on the phone. Mike was farting and saying all kinds of weird stuff. It turns out it was just audio clips of Mike that the guys were playing. Howard said that obviously wasn't the real Mike Walker.
Robin said the guy who was predicting the end of the world in May, Harold Camping, has had a stroke. Robin said he suffered a mild stroke. That led to Howard doing the blinking thing again and had Fred playing the boinking sound as he blinked out his book. Robin said that Camping thought that the apocalypse was coming on May 21st but that day passed and nothing happened. Now he thinks that it's happening in October.
Robin said that a self proclaimed psychic told the police about a mass grave and it turned out to be a fake. The cops say they won't charge that person with any crime. Robin said there was no criminal intent when the psychic gave the information. Robin said that no bodies were found on this property.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what the difference between Anthony Weiner and Howard tweeting out pictures of his wife are. Howard said that there's a huge difference. He's not tweeting picture of himself to people who aren't his wife. He said these are the people who are on Twitter and that's why he's not on there anymore.
Robin read about a guy who wants to go out and find Osama bin Laden. He's going to go on an expedition to find the body. Howard said he's pretty sure the body has decomposed or has been eaten. Robin said this guy wants to do it for the world. Howard said he'd put that body on tour. He'd bet that people would pay to see it. Howard said he wanted to bring Sam Kinison out on tour after he died. He'd like to do that with Osama.
Howard said he was reading about what Sussy is up to on his bike tour. He wrote about how his wife had lost her wedding ring. Howard said his bike has all kinds of stuff hanging off of it. Robin said it's no wonder his wife almost passed out after peddling all of that around. Howard said he doesn't think the wife lost her ring, she probably threw it out.
Robin read about how this family got burned by a Bananas Foster desert that they brought out to them. Howard wondered why they don't just finish that in the kitchen. He said they do that with other foods too. He said they do it with Dover Sole. Robin said that some of the rum in that desert spilled and burned the family. Robin said that two people had first and second degree burns and the other one had respiratory burns.
Robin read about how Pippa Middleton has broken up with her boyfriend. Robin said that she's already dating someone else.
Robin read about billions of dollars are missing for the Iraqi rebuilding. Robin said that about $6 billion is missing. Robin said they say it was stored in Baghdad and it has disappeared. Robin said we don't know where it went.
Robin read about how Governor Cuomo is trying to get same sex marriage passed in New York. Howard said he can't figure out why they're against it. Howard read some things that people had written about that and he said it's just weird. Howard said he has yet to hear a good argument for why they shouldn't be allowed to marry.
Robin read about Anthony Weiner taking a 2 week leave of absence. Robin had some audio of the house clerk reading a note about that. Robin read about President Obama weighing in on the Weiner scandal. She had some audio of him saying that if it was him, he'd resign. Robin said that Weiner is undergoing professional care and he might want to change his image. She had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read about the first lady being in Los Angeles talking about the struggles of Military families. She appeared on the show iCarly.
Robin read about Plaxico Burress going out and teaching kids about gun safety. Howard said he'd like to know where he's going to teach kids about guns. He said he can't imagine anyone letting him into a school.
Robin read about how one of the FOX commentators is being questioned about some comments he made on a show where he used some black slang to talk about his problems with someone President Obama was meeting with. Robin said his name is Eric Bowling and he's on Follow the Money. Robin had the clip from the show where the guy was doing the impression. Howard said he doesn't even know what the guy was saying or why he should be upset with him.
Robin read about the ''Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark'' musical that's going to open tonight. Robin had some of one of the songs from the show. She said they've been in previews for 6 months already. Robin read some details about what they've spent on the play so far and how they've streamlined the story. They've also added some U2 songs to it.
Robin read that Janet Jackson is going to perform at the Louvre in Paris. Robin said she's hoping she doesn't knock over any expensive art while she's performing.
Robin said that Boy George is turning 50 this week. Howard said he hasn't aged very well. He said he looks like Curly from the Three Stooges these days.
Robin read about The Coasters losing the leader of the group. Robin said he died of congestive heart failure. Robin had some of their song ''Poison Ivy'' and ''Yakity Yak'' that she had Howard play. Howard said he's glad he missed that era. He said he got turned on to music around the time the Beatles were big. He didn't get turned on to Elvis or anything like that.
Robin said that Jim Carrey is in the new movie ''Mr. Poppers Penguins.'' She had some audio of Jim talking about the movie. Howard said he doesn't care. He wants to know what happened between him and Jenny McCarthy.
Robin had some audio of Peter Sarsgaard talking about what he'll be playing in The Green Lantern. Howard said he was interested in that. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon went over some of the other things he wanted to cover and said he wanted to start off talking about Benjy's problems getting into the studio on time after a break. Benjy said he was busy out in the hall with his doctor. He named the doctor so Gary told him not to plug the guy. Then he said the name of the assistant and pissed Gary off again. Gary told him that this is pissing him off like Sal going into the studio without permission today.
Benjy said they were shooting some stuff for the behind the scenes show. Benjy said he didn't invite him up there. The Howard TV guys must have invited him up. Gary asked if he knew he was coming up today. Benjy said he did. Benjy said he didn't know it was going to be in the morning until this morning. Gary said he's not giving a straight answer. He said he's asking a straight answer. Benjy said he was told he was coming up today but he didn't know it would be in the morning until this morning. Benjy said as far as he knows Howard TV invited him up there.
Jon asked Gary about how Sal bypassed him today. He said that Sal came into the studio and told Howard to play something that they had done. Gary said he was livid as soon as he heard Sal in the studio. He said that Sal knows he's supposed to come to him. He said if he had come to him he would have asked to hear the call and he would have played it for Howard during the break. He said he would have told Sal not to go in. Gary said he called Sal into his office off the air and told him he made him look bad. He said he's not a hard ass to him but he's making it look like he has no control over the office.
Mike Gange came in and said that they usually try to do things in the afternoon but the doctor showed up this morning because that's when he was available. He said that Benjy came out to say hi and then he had a question about his ankle so he did a bit of an exam out in the green room. He said he doesn't think he had the intent to do that.
Gary said that the only thing Howard knows is that it looked like Benjy doing shtick. Gary said he would like to know what's going on with the whole thing since he had no idea it was happening. Gange said he thought Gary had been CC'd on it. Gary asked why he would assume that. Gange said he didn't know.
Jon said the rule about going into the studio is to ask Gary first. Gary said Ronnie is the best asking before he goes in. He never goes in without asking. Gary said he rarely says no to Ronnie. Howard trusts him to keep the flow of the show going so that's why everyone is supposed to check with him.
Sal was in so Jon asked why he did it. Sal said he used poor judgment. He said he should have stopped by his office but in this case he's not sure why he didn't. He said he was talking about his prank calls he did as Fartman so he should have gone to Gary first. He said he could have gone to Will and told him to put up a note. Sal said he apologizes to Gary for doing that. Gary said he knows better. He's supposed to come to him 100 percent of the time before going in there.
Gary said he would have had this conversation even if the segment had gone well. Sal said that they've played that call numerous times and he's not sure why Howard didn't like it. Sal said attitudes change and that's where Gary could have filtered it out. Gary said he'll take the bullet for that and it's got to be his decision.
Jon said that you have to have something great when you go in there. Sal said he was like a gnat and he walked out of there with his tail between his legs.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary sounds very angry today. Gary said he is angry. He said they're making it look like he has no control over the office. Gary said Howard didn't chew him out today so he's putting this all on himself. He said that's why he's pissed. The caller said he's never heard Gary like that before. Gary said he's just upset today.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal and Richard are great on the air and he thinks that they should be on more. He said that Jon should but out of all of this because he's the one who sets people off in there. He also said that Gary is doing his job just fine so he shouldn't get so upset about this. Gary said that he has to get upset when people make him look like a dick. The caller said that Sal and Richard are stuck in the back room not being allowed on the air. Gary said that they're back there on their own because they have decided not to want to lick each other's taints. Sal said that's not the case. Sal said he got ripped on for not going in to talk to Howard about IPOs and how they work. Sal said he's fine going in there when it's appropriate.
Gary said he wanted to know why the caller thought Jon was the instigator. Jon said he just asks questions about the show and that's what this whole show is about.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that someone has to feel the steam when they screw Gary over. Gary said he has no ability to do that. He said he can't suspend anyone and even if he did it would hurt the show. He said they wouldn't have any productivity from them. Sal said he hasn't done that much so he doesn't think it's a big problem. Gary said that it comes up enough that it's a problem. Gary asked if he's not a big enough asshole to him. Sal said that he respects Gary and he understands why he gets upset. He said he treats him with a tremendous amount of respect off the air. Gary said he doesn't feel disrespected by him over this. He said Sal just mad a poor decision.
Gary said that Jason told him that Sal went in there because he was so in love with the bit and he knew that Gary wouldn't be that he had to get it in there himself. They had to go to break after that.
Jon moved on to talk about JJ Abrams and how nervous he was today. Gary said that JJ insisted that he stood at the podium last time he was on. He said he didn't think that was right. Jon said he remembers him standing there.
Jon said JJ was nervous but Howard immediately asked him about working on so many projects that are blockbusters. Gary said that he thought JJ had worked on Lost for longer than the first season. Jon said he felt for JJ when he tried to explain that show to Howard. Gary said he loved the show right to the end. He said there were some weird things along the way though. Gary said that they promised they had an ending but it didn't seem that they did. Jon said he thought they wrapped it up in a decent way. He said that he gets why people are frustrated by the whole thing.
Gary said if they had any special effects on the show they should have had JJ sucked out of the studio by black smoke.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks JJ's father or Steven Spielberg had a bigger effect on his career. Gary said he thinks that it was probably Spielberg.
Jon said when Howard was talking about JJ's dad he was projecting his own father on him. Gary said that a lot of people have followed in their father's footsteps and many have succeeded.
Jon asked Sal about how his father influenced him. Sal said his grandfather would drink and yell at the TV and he loved his mannerisms. He said he was a crabby old dude and he didn't take anything and he didn't have a sense of humor at all. Sal said he would play pranks on the guy and he was changing channels from outside with the remote and things like that.
Gary asked if Sal is funny or is he just an ass. Jon said it's funny if you're not watching TV. Sal said it was pretty funny back then. He said he used to rip him apart so it was pretty funny.
Gary said he has this Sonos system in the house and one day the thing was going crazy and it turns out his son was in the closet turning the things on in different rooms and adjusting the volume with the remote. He said he got really pissed that day but now that he thinks about it, it seems brilliant.
Jon asked about JJ having the toys in his office and what they think about that. Gary said if you have things that you found fun then it's fine to do it if you have the job where you can. He said it might help you be more creative so why not?
Jon said Howard asked about JJ's wife's bathing suit and how shocked JJ seemed to be by that question. They spent a minute on that and then went to the phones.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal has been looking for a father his whole life and he's trying to impress Gary by getting this attention. He said Sal is obsessed with Gary the way he used to be obsessed with Howard. Gary said he doesn't believe that. Sal didn't either. Sal said he sees Gary as a big brother and he guides him in the right direction.
Gary said people are shocked that Sal works for the show. He said that they think he hates him but he actually gets along with him very well. Sal said that's very sweet.
Jon asked about JJ wanting to leave. Gary said he's not sure what was going on with that. He said he wasn't told until the last minute about how he had to leave at 8:45. It seemed like JJ wanted to stick around too. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said Howard doesn't really do that off the air. He said he will let you know when you screw up. Sal said he's been in those meetings. He said Howard did flip out on him off the air once and that still loops in his head.
Gary asked Benjy about Howard going off on him in a meeting once. Benjy said it's not easy. Gary said he fucked something up once and he was trying to get it fixed and kept Howard at arm's length. He said Howard went off on him saying that he had failed him and then hung up. He said t really hurt to hear that. Jon said that everyone is extremely loyal to Howard and they want to do good by him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary why he didn't plug the book signing down in Dallas. Gary said he did promote it and he was even on a radio station down there. The caller said he never heard anything about it. Gary said he did plug it.
Jon asked if he's glad the book tour is over. Gary said he is. He said it's fun but tiring. He said it was only two weekends but it was very tiring.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Sal if his wife has ever let him spank her. Sal said he's never done that and he has no interest in doing it. Sal said he'd like to hit her but not spank her. He said he was just kidding. Sal said that they stick to missionary or maybe he'll flip her over during sex once in a while. He said that the spanking thing doesn't turn him on anyway.
Jon said that Sal is into piss videos though. Sal said he's turned on to women who are into having that done to them. He said he likes women who love that stuff. Sal said that girls who say they're dirty skanks give him a boner. Sal said he would never spank his wife though. He said they're doing better and their finances are getting better. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about the fast food show that Jon and Jason do. He said he thinks it's brilliant. Robin said they're passionate about it and they do love doing it. Howard said they do a fast food show on Howard 101. Robin said it's good they don't do it every week. Howard said it's a really good show. He said people love fast food but they never really talk about it. He said they had a discussion about dipping sauces.
Howard played some of the audio of Jon and Jason talking about the dipping sauces at McDonald's. Jason told Jon about how he went out and got the new dipping sauces to test them out. Jon said the sauce ruins the food and makes it all taste the same. Jason said that you taste both and not just one. He said you need a new sauce once in a while. Jason told Jon about his favorite of the new bunch. He said he liked the ranch. He said the chipotle was good and the tangy barbecue was okay. He said his favorite is hot mustard. He said he mixes that with ranch and it makes something really good. Jon sounded impressed.
Howard said Jason is very well versed in fast food. Howard said he doesn't even know what chipotle is. Jason came in and told Howard how Jon won't even put ketchup on his burgers. He said he eats everything plain. Howard told Jason he's really good on that show and he sounds like he's very well versed in it. Jason thanked him for that.
Howard played another clip where Jon took a call from a guy who was complaining about the Wendy's fries that were changed. Jason said he doesn't like them either. Jon said that Nathan's and McDonald's are the best fries anyway. Jon said that the sea salt Wendy's is using is bullshit anyway.
Howard said Nathan's fries really are the best. He played more of the audio and Jon was talking about how Wendy's has changed lately and it's not in a good way. He said they have stopped going to the Wendy's in their building. He said that they have lost two very good customers because of their service. Jason said that it's just that one Wendy's that they're complaining about. The one they're talking about is the one in Rockefeller Center. Howard said that management should get on that and do some quality control.
Robin said that Jon hates Burger King and he hates all of them. Howard said Jon knows the difference between them. Robin said Jon hates the service at Burger King too. Jon came in and said he's talked about that before. He said everything is bad at Burger King.
Howard asked Jon what makes the best fries. Jon said Nathan's are the best and McDonald's are the next best. He said that the Coney Island Nathan's is the Mecca. He said he's gone over the list of things he hates about Burger King before but there is a huge difference between Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's.
Jon said he eats his burgers plain because he likes to taste the burger. He said he knows the condiments can enhance that but he likes the burger taste. Jon said if Burger King is the only option at a rest stop he'll keep driving. Jason said he likes Burger King and he loves that they serve burgers 24/7. He said McDonald's doesn't do that.
Howard asked the guys about Wendy's and who the president of the company is. Jon said he's not sure. He said they just got sold to a conglomerate of other fast food places. Howard said he wonders if they have any quality control. He said they're turning people off if one store is doing really poorly like the one there. Howard said someone has to make that decision to change the fries. He wondered if any of the local franchises can keep the old fries. Robin said they all get the food from the same place.
Howard asked if White Castle is the same. Jon said it's garbage food and it's good if you're drunk. Howard said their burgers looked grey. He asked if they still look that way. Jon said you just eat it and don't ask questions. Jason said you can buy a suitcase full of their burgers there. He said you can buy them for a party or for a Saturday night alone.
Jason had a list that Jon had about Burger King and what he hates about that place. Jon had a whole list of things that they do wrong. Jon likes that they have onion rings but he doesn't like the taste of them. He doesn't like their burgers, he doesn't like their combination meal setup, he doesn't like their product names other than The Whopper but he doesn't like the double Whopper. Howard said he gets that. He said the Whopper is the ultimate so how can you have a double ultimate. Jason said that they have a Double Quarter Pounder at McDonald's. Jon argued that the Big Mac is the biggest one and there is no double Big Mac.
Howard read more of Jon's complaints about the Burger Kings and how they're not pleasant to be in. He said they're all dumps. Jon said they say they flame broil but they don't. He said they pretend that they do that. He said they crank them all out and they don't let you ''Have it your way'' like their slogan says.
Howard said Jon complains about the toys in the kid's meals. The Burger King is also a bad character that they change every year. McDonald's keeps their Ronald McDonald looking the same. Jon said the Burger King freaks him out too. Jason said their commercials are so much better than the McDonald's commercials. He said they're a little more adult and they speak more to him than McDonald's does.
Jon complained about Burger King not having contests like McDonald's does. He said they have weak brand marketing too. He said they use BK in their food names instead of coming up with item names.
Howard asked which is the biggest fast food chain in the country now. Jon said that it's Subway. Howard asked Jason where he would go if he sees a Burger King or a McDonald's. Jason said he'll go to McDonald's instinctively. He said he would like to get a Whopper from Burger King and go to McDonald's for the fries. He said he has done that before.
Howard asked if they understand Pizza Hut. He said he never got it. He said he'd go to a pizzeria. Jon said the best fast food pizza out there is Pizza Hut but if you're a New Yorker you go to a pizzeria.
Howard said Jon and Jason have put their time in at all of these places. He read that Jason dips pizza crust. Jason said Domino's had dipping sauces for a while but they stopped doing that. He said the tray was built in. Howard said it shows that it's not real pizza when they put dipping sauce in it.
Robin asked if they still inject cheese into the crust of pizza. Howard asked if Jason likes that Cheesy Crust. Jason said they do still do that but he needs a regular crust to grab the pizza so it doesn't work for him.
Howard asked what their favorite fast food combo would be. Jon said he would get a Double Quarter Pounder, fries from Nathan's and a blizzard from dairy Queen. Jason had his list that he gave earlier about the fries and burger.
Howard asked Jon if he asks himself about being insane when he eats this kind of food being a diabetic. Jon said he does. Jason said he knows he shouldn't be doing it either. Jon said he eats fast food 3 out of 4 days. At home he might do it once a weekend. He said he doesn't take his kids out to those places. He said he knows better. Jon said that the kids are giving him a lot of guilt lately when he eats that stuff. Jason said he goes to fast food places less than Jon. He said he doesn't go to lunch with Jon every time. He said he tries to avoid going out.
Howard asked who goes out to lunch with them. Jon said that JD will go to lunch with him almost every day. He said yesterday they went to a place called Tri Tip. He said it's fast food-esque. Jon said that JD will switch it up and get chicken, fish or a burger. Howard said he's kind of a connoisseur. JD said he can be at times.
Jason said that on Fridays Jon will call in and ask JD where he wants to go to lunch. They prepare early. Howard said JD is the slender one of the group at this point. He said he's seen him eating Chinese take out at times. JD said he does that at times.
Howard said that this guy has a show there on Sirius. Dr. Goldberg said that he has a show on channel 81 on Friday from 8-10am. He said everyone listens to Howard so not that many people listen to him.
Gary said Dr. Goldberg has pulled many things out of ears. He said that he has pulled out a lot of cockroaches. Dr. Goldberg said that it's a cool, dark place and it's hard for them to get out. It happens all the time in New York.
Howard asked if it's possible that he has a tick in his ear. Dr. Goldberg said that it is possible. He said he read about it online. Howard said he had his pinkie in his ear because it itched and he felt something new in there. He said he thought it was a hair or something but then he thought it might be a tick living in there. He said he didn't feel it when he heard the Doctor was coming in. He said that he put his finger in there 2 or 3 days ago and he was really swishing around.
Howard asked the doctor to check out his ear. Dr. Goldberg said he had a whole bag of tricks just in case there actually is something in there. Howard said he's sure that he doesn't have anything in there but who knows. Dr. Goldberg said that he must have a tick checker on staff. Howard said he had his knee on the grass when he was taking pictures. He said it could have gotten on him then.
Howard said he had a tick on his balls once. Dr. Goldberg said he read about that online. Howard said he took a shower one day and he saw a purple looking thing on his balls. He figured it was a pimple but when he squeezed it, it didn't pop. The next day he noticed it was getting bigger. He looked closer at his balls and figured it was a tick. He said he had to have Beth pull it out. He said she gave it a good pull and got it out. He said he kept his hand over his penis while she did that.
Howard had the doctor come over and check his ear. He showed Howard the equipment and Howard said it's really disturbing to look at that stuff. Howard had him look in there. Dr. Goldberg said that he wasn't seeing anything in there. Howard said this had better not be a prank. He said he hopes he's not Sour Shoes. Dr. Goldberg said there was some wax in there but that was it. He told him to get some drops for that. Dr. Goldberg said that he wanted to look again to see how big it was.
Howard said Dr. Goldberg looks pretty muscular for a doctor. He said he's 45 years old and married. Howard said he could date Lisa G. Howard said he looks much younger. Dr. Goldberg said that's because he works in the E.R. and it keeps you young looking.
Howard asked if his wife is hot. Dr. Goldberg said that she is pretty hot and he's not sure why she's with him. Howard asked if he likes being a doctor. Dr. Goldberg said he loves it. Howard asked if he ever wishes that he's a businessman. Dr. Goldberg said he only does when his paycheck comes.
Dr. Goldberg said that he was once asked out by a mother of a kid who swallowed a quarter. Dr. Goldberg said they had a guy show up who had cut his penis to get into the hospital. He said there was an intern there who had to sew it up. He said that the girl was kind of cute and the guy jerked off after she did that and jerked off onto the wall of the E.R. He said the girl was terrified. Four years later she would have slammed the guy against the wall if he had done that.
Howard asked what he's pulled out of people. Dr. Goldberg said the first thing he pulled out was a carrot. He said he had a whole fake arm that he had to pull out once too. Dr. Goldberg said that this other guy was playing with his girlfriend and he got a screwdriver stuck in there. He said he had to have his mother drive him to the hospital. Howard said he's read stories about guys coming in and saying they have a stomach ache and don't even tell the doctor about what they have in there. They pretend that they don't know what happened.
Dr. Goldberg said that he has pulled a hard boiled egg out of there. He said the guy with the arm in his butt said that he had done that before. Some of this stuff is sex toys that end up going in too far. Dr. Goldberg said that they like to see this bizarre stuff so he asks questions about what happened. Dr. Goldberg said that the guy with the arm had put it in and it must have gotten sucked in. He said that they sit around waiting for it to come out on its own but he never does. He has pulled a tube of toothpaste out before too.
Dr. Goldberg told Howard about the guy with the arm stuck in his ass and how it was in there a good 2 feet. Howard asked how they get it out of there. Dr. Goldberg said it all depends on how it's in there. He said that things can be kind of smelly back there too. Howard asked what's more smelly than that. He said butt puss is the worst. He said that if you have an abscess back there it can be really bad. Howard said he had a pimple once that he squeezed and it popped and the stuff smelled. Dr. Goldberg said it may have been a cyst. Howard said he loved that it smelled and he loved the consistency. He said you would have thought he had given birth. Howard said he loved being a medical man.
Howard asked if he can come in there on any Thursday. Dr. Goldberg said that they do their show from NYU. He said that they don't let him in the building. Howard asked him to do a quick colonoscopy on him. Dr. Goldberg said he doesn't do that and he wouldn't want one from him.
Howard gave Dr. Billy Goldberg a plug and said he's working at NYU and Bellvue. Howard asked how much he gets to do his show. Dr. Goldberg said they give him a cup of coffee and a pat on the back. He gets $250 to do that show. He figured he'd get in trouble for even saying that. Howard said he's suing them to try and get his dough. Howard asked if he's tried to get $300 for his show. Dr. Goldberg said that he doesn't have the leverage that Howard does.
Howard asked if Dr. Goldberg's wife is the kind of wife who gets upset when they get something gin the mail that says ''Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg'' and says ''it should be Doctor!'' Dr. Goldberg said that she's not like that.
Howard asked Dr. Goldberg if he's good in bed and if he can find the clitoris. He said they don't teach you that in medical school. Howard said Dr. Goldberg is the guy who wrote ''Why Do Men Have Nipples?.'' Howard said he actually has that book. He also wrote ''
Howard had Gary come in to talk about his medical issues. Gary has something on the bottom of his foot but he figured this guy wasn't the right one for that. Howard was goofing on Gary about his faults and Gary asked him to check on Howard's calcium deposit in his throat. Howard told him not to do that to his boss because he won't be able to forget about it all day long. Gary also told Howard that they have a guest there and they have a limited amount of time. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and had Tatum O'Neal come in. Howard said she looked afraid. Howard talked to her about the doctor telling them about stuff that he was finding up people's asses. Howard said that they're never really clear about what they were doing when they find that stuff in there.
Howard said he thinks of Tatum and how some people aren't meant to have kids. He said that her father, Ryan O'Neal, is the most horrendous human being on the planet. Tatum said that Howard sand Denis Leary both think that. Howard said he reads about her life and he thinks about how her father wasn't meant to have kids. He said that he told her to take cocaine to lose weight. He said she slashed her wrists at one time and he told her she did it the wrong way and showed her how to do it the right way.
Howard said he loved Tatum's father in some movies. Tatum said that he has to live with himself and she doesn't live in his shoes. She said that she has never done to anyone what he has so she doesn't have to go through that. Tatum said that Howard is a good father from what she's heard. She said that's all he can do. She said that her father is learning from what he's gone through.
Howard said Tatum is doing a show on the Oprah network and she's trying to get along with her father in that. Howard said that Oprah used to talk about how awful reality shows are but that's what they're putting on her network now. Howard said it's reality TV and Oprah is doing what she said she wasn't going to do. Tatum said it must be hard to run a network.
Howard asked how they came to her about the show. Tatum said that she and her father get along most of the time but she thought it would be interesting to put a mic on him. She said that he's really good TV. Tatum said she hates reality TV. Howard said he loves it. He loves The Bachelorette, Beverly Hills Housewives and all of that. Howard said he'll be watching Tatum and her father on that new show.
Howard talked to Tatum about how her father treated her as a kid. She said that she never had sex with her father. Howard wondered if she's blocking that out. She said she swears that she never did. She said she used to crawl into the bed with him and the women that he'd sleep with but she never had sex. Howard said she wrote about how she had gone to the funeral for Farrah Fawcett and her father hadn't seen her in years. She said that her father was hitting on her there because he didn't recognize her. Tatum said that he told the story to Vanity Fair and the story was all over the place. Howard laughed at that story.
Howard said Tatum's mother was a disaster too. Tatum said her father kicked the shit out of her. She said she didn't have a chance. Tatum said that she was so nice and she has to forgive her.
Howard said Tatum's mother took her to a hippie farm at one point. Tatum said that her mother was doing crystal or whatever crystal was called in the 70s. Howard said Tatum has had a really weird life. Her mother took her to that farm and she got molested at the age of 6. Tatum said she's been molested by 4 people in her life. Tatum said some people have had a tough time and she's one of the people who can go out and talk about it.
Howard said Tatum thought her dad was going to save her. He took her and put her in movies. Howard asked if she loved him for doing that. Tatum said that she was a good way for him to get girls for a while. She was like his sidekick until she started to get awkward. She said that things went to hell after that. Tatum said that she won the Oscar and then she was told she got the shit beat out of her. She didn't remember that but someone told her that's what happened. Howard said when she won the Oscar that drove him nuts. She said that's what people think happened. Tatum said that he didn't go to the awards with her.
Howard said Tatum did Bad News Bears after that. She said that she bet her father that his movie would do better than her's but her's did better. She said that he wasn't happy about that.
Tatum wrote about the women her father was with in her book ''Found: A Daughter's Journey Home.'' It's 7 pages long. Howard read the list and it had names like Melanie Griffith, Angelica Houston and others.
Howard asked Tatum about her drug use and how she got over that. She said she hates drugs now and she is clean and she's been that way for a while. She said she can't even say what her favorite was. She was hooked on heroin in the 90s though.
Howard said Tatum went to jail and she ended up spooning with an inmate who was pregnant. Tatum said that she wouldn't say they were curling up with each other but they were laying together. Howard asked if she ever tried lesbianism. She said she did and her daughter knows that. She told her about it. Howard said this is hot. She said she hasn't really been bi-sexual in decades. She said they may have been famous women though. Tatum said you have to have fun in life. Howard asked if she ever kissed Melanie Griffith. She said she didn't. She did make out with Michael Jackson. Howard said that's weird. He said out of all of that stuff in her life that's weird. Tatum said Michael was in love with Diana Ross. Howard said Jackson was a homosexual man who wanted to be like Diana Ross.
Howard asked Tatum if she ever kissed another woman's vagina. She said she never did. She said she never had hers kissed either. She said it was just rubbing. Howard said that she must have been a lot of fun in bed.
Howard asked Tatum if she's dating anyone. She said she is single right now. She said that she would love to find someone. She said she's been single for over a year. Tatum said that she would have sex if she found the right man. Tatum said she wants to figure this thing out and show what her family was like growing up in her show and help other families in not feeling alone. Howard asked if she pleasures herself. Tatum said she swears she's not even doing that.
Howard asked if she has a vibrator. Tatum said she doesn't have one. She said she has two sons and she doesn't want them finding them. She said she'd feel really awkward. Howard asked if the kids know their grandfather. She said they don't know him very well and she's fine with that. She said that her daughter went out to eat with him once and noticed how he ate and said something to him about it.
Tatum told Howard about her brother and how he calls their father ''the beast with no remorse.'' Howard said he read about how her father would beat them up and abuse them when they were kids. Tatum said she's not angry anymore. She said that you have empathy for the person who hurts people in his life. She said he's all alone now and she has a great relationship with her own kids.
Howard gave Tatum a plug for her book ''Found: A Daughter's Journey Home'' and the ''Ryan and Tatum: The O'Neals'' that's on the OWN network this weekend.
Howard asked if the show is to humiliate her father. Tatum said she would never do that. Howard said he finds it amazing that she did that her parents put her in charge of her own money. She said that they had some bad screw ups there. She was in charge of her money at 10 years old. Tatum said she supported her mom until she died. She said she had a lot of resentment over that.
Howard asked Tatum if she relates to Drew Barrymore who went through similar things. Tatum said she does. Howard asked her about doing drugs at 13 and if she was having sex around that time. Tatum said she did. Howard asked if it was with older guys. Tatum said yes. She said she didn't want to go there though. Howard said she was with guys over 18 and they should have known better. Tatum said it was the 1970s and things were going on back then. She said that she wasn't involved with people like Roman Polanski and people like that.
Howard asked Tatum if she's happy that her husband, John McEnroe, stepped up and took care of the kids. She said she's very thankful for that. Howard went over her marriage and asked why that broke up. She said that it was the things that went on in her prior life. She said that John wasn't as sensitive as he is now. She said there was a lot of stuff going on in her life. She said she had her first kid at 19. Tatum said that John is still mad at her and she wishes that he'd stop being mad.
Howard asked if the relationship distracted John from tennis. Tatum doesn't think that's what happened. She said that he wanted to have the kids and travel. She said that he could have left them at home. She said she was a young, pregnant wife most of the time they were married. Howard asked if he was a great lover. She said that he was the best lover she ever had. She said that he loved her when they got married. Tatum said he was very loyal and very moral. She said that her father wasn't like that.
Howard said he thinks that she's still in love with John. Tatum told him not to say that. She knows that Howard is friendly with Patty. Tatum said she doesn't want that to affect her relationship with her kids. Howard asked if she would get back with him if Patty died. Tatum said she doesn't know about that. She doesn't think about it. Howard said she must think about Patty dying. Tatum said she doesn't think like that. Howard said he thinks that she still loves John. Tatum said she still has a lot of respect for him and she thinks he's very cool and a very interesting guy. Howard said if he was a woman he'd want to sleep with him.
Howard asked Tatum if there was a lot of competition back then when she was dating John. She said that she was only 19 at the time and this was back in the 80s. She said John was 24 at the time. Howard asked how they met. She said that John came to her and sat next to her and it was like they were married from that point on. She said she was pregnant 5 months later. Tatum said that she's going to be mad if Patty and John get upset. Howard said if Patty is threatened by this discussion that would be crazy.
Tatum told Howard she's okay today and she had a great thing with John. Howard said Tatum tells people to wait a few nights before sleeping with a man. She said that she waited a few before she was with him. Howard asked if she used a rubber. Tatum said this was in 1983. She said she was getting uncomfortable talking about this.
Howard asked Tatum what her cup size is. She said she's a C. Howard said he didn't know they were so full. He told her that Robin is a G-cup. Robin told him to stop it.
Howard said that Tatum claims that she blew through her money early on. She said that Ken Starr helped her with that. She said that she's doing fine now though. Tatum said she's doing movies, books and all of this other stuff.
Howard asked if she had a period of time when she didn't have any work and wondered what was going on. She said she was never really like that. She didn't blame Hollywood for what was going on in her life.
Howard said that Tatum seemed to be having fun working in movies. She said she did and it was a lot of fun. She said that she's in the best place that she could be in at this point.
Howard asked about Ryan meeting Farrah Fawcett and locking her out of his life. Tatum said that it was very strange. She said that they had to play racquetball with Ryan and Farrah and Ryan would scream at her how to play. She said it was a horrendous experience. She said she hated racquetball and she hated playing against Farrah.
Robin said that she looks at Ryan O'Neal and she thinks that he's mentally ill. Howard asked Tatum if she thinks that he drove her to be mentally ill. She said she's not mentally ill so no. She said that things are really good with her and her kids now. Tatum said that she didn't miss out on their lives so much more than a year and a half or so.
Howard asked Tatum about her father and how he treated Farrah toward the end. She said that he's gotten much better lately. She said that he is trying.
Howard asked Tatum about doing the reality show. She told him it's not a ''reality show.'' Howard asked her about what it's like to see the show after shooting it. She said that she hasn't watched it. She said she will watch the first episode but nothing after that. Howard said that it must be awful to deal with her father and see it on TV. Tatum said that there are women who have turned to drugs because of their parents and she thinks that putting his out there will help them. She said she's doing other things too and not just for TV.
Howard said he's learning not to have Ryan O'Neal as a father. He said he'd straighten him out if he had him on his show. Howard said he'll put a rubber arm up his ass. Tatum said that her dad had her Oscar taken away from her so she has to get that back.
Gary came in and said that Tatum has to go but they'd like to get a plug for the book. Howard gave her a plug for ''Found: A Daughter's Journey Home'' and asked where she's living. She lives in L.A. but also has a place in New York.
Howard said that this TV show looks good too. He said he'll watch that. He said that Ryan is more human than Paris Hilton is. He told Tatum about Paris' TV show and how much of a vomit she is as a human being. Tatum said she's glad she's not watching that show.
Howard gave Tatum some plugs for her TV show and found out that she's going to be on Regis with her father. Howard said Regis won't ask about all of this stuff. Tatum said of course he won't. That's why her father will do that show.
Howard got in some plugs for Tatum's upcoming book signings. He said she'll be at Borders in the Time Warner center tonight. Howard said she's looking for love so go and see her tonight. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said Sal and Richard went to Harlem and asked some people what they thought about Tracy Morgan's comments. Howard said one guy was very insightful about the whole thing. Howard played the audio and this one guy was saying that if Tracy was white he'd be treated differently. The guy was also saying that he doesn't think anything about gay people and doesn't deal with them and what they do. He said they take it in the ass and suck other people off. Sal asked how he would react if his son was gay. The guy said he'd have to get out of his house. He said he could probably turn him not gay by telling him what's right. The guy said that he would tell his son to stop banging people in the ass. Sal and Richard asked if he would rather have his son be Jewish or gay. The guy said that he'd rather have them be Jewish. They asked the guy how much money it would take to have a guy drop his balls on his face. The guy wouldn't even do it for a billion dollars. Sal and Richard asked the guy who is worse, the gays or Hitler. The guy said the gays are worse. He kept mentioning them sucking other people off and how awful that was.
Howard said there's this archbishop there in New York who is against gay marriage. He said that he's not sure why government is involved in all of this marriage stuff. Howard read more about the archbishop and what he's saying about all of this. Howard said he's not sure why people care. He said it's unbelievable.
Howard said he saw pictures of this guy The Edge from U2 and he's wearing a hat. He asked if he wears it all the time. Fred said it's because he's bald. Howard said he wears it in the summer too. He said that cap must smell. He wondered if he wears it in bed. Robin said maybe he had it permanently attached.
Howard said that there are a lot of senators coming out for the gay marriage bill. He said that makes sense to him. Robin said that she got an email telling her to tell her representative to vote no on the gay marriage bill.
Howard said Tatum had her kids taken away, she tried to kill herself and she had that father. He said her life has been an absolute hell. He said she had no guidance from her father at all.
The caller asked why Canadians aren't allowed to enter the Superfan contest there. Howard said he's not sure. Howard said he's sure the rule is idiotic. He said some idiot probably made that rule. He asked Gary what the genesis of that rule is. Gary said it's only open to citizens of the United States and he's not sure why. Gary said they sometimes have contests that aren't open to Californians. Gary said different countries have different rules so they might not be able to do it. Howard said he wants an answer on that. Gary said they have pushed back on it and they resist. He said the sales people go to the lawyers and that's what they're told.
The caller said he'd like to be able to come in there before the lights go out. Howard said he can't make an exception in this case.
Lisa said they spoke to the editor of Hamptons magazine and she's happy with the photos Howard took for Beth and Katie Joel's wife. Howard said that they were telling him they might put his pictures on the cover of the magazine. He said he thinks they're doing it because of his name but they say they genuinely like his pictures. Howard said if they use them they use them. If they don't, they don't. He doesn't care.
Lisa said that Beth was out at an event last night. Howard said he was home watching ''Teen Wolf.'' He said it's not as good as ''Being Human'' but he likes it. He said the kid who plays the wolf is a fine young man. Howard said Robin used to come over and watch TV with him and he would shush her for talking too much. Howard said he's not sure that Robin would like ''Teen Wolf.'' Lisa laughed when she heard Howard say he has it on Season Pass on his TiVo.
Lisa told Howard more about what the Hamptons Magazine people told her. That led to Howard talking about how Beth rushes him through his photography but she doesn't do that to regular photographers. Howard said he took pictures the other night and she hated them because she only gave him 3 seconds to take them.
Howard said Beth is very busy with 4 different TV shows. Robin had seen her on a show with cats. She's shooting ''Mom Caves'' and she did ''Gossip Cop'' and some other show. Howard said he's not sure where they're airing. Lisa said they're probably on after Teen Wolf.
Howard said he has plans for Robin to do a photo shoot too. He said that he will take pictures of Fred too but he wants to do Robin first. He said he has to talk to her about that.
Lisa said that Ronnie Mund is being represented by Don Buchwald now. He's got two TV show pilots in the works. Howard said that Ronnie could end up being a big TV star. He said that don could end up dropping him for Ronnie. Howard said he'd rather see Robin be the next big star, not Ronnie. Lisa said that Ronnie is going out to the opening of a new Rick's Cabaret this weekend. Howard thanked Lisa for the update and moved on to the Playboy Playmate.
Claire told Howard she had a crush on Howard when she was like 12. Robin said Howard has never had a Playmate of the Year. Howard said he hasn't but how does Robin know that.
Claire asked for one of Howard's curls to keep as a keepsake. She said she loves Howard's hair. Howard said his is all natural like her breasts. Claire said that she's a D-cup and they are natural. She said they're tight too.
Howard said that Beth was approached by Playboy once. He said she didn't want to take off her top so she never did it. Claire said that she'd be a great centerfold. Howard said she might do it with him as the photographer.
Howard said that Claire's boobs look very perked. He said that they must make her shave down. Claire said that she's lasered so she will never grow hair again. She started having them done around 18 and she just stopped about 5 months ago. She said she had the hair down there and her armpits done. She had her moustache done too. She said there are a few stray hairs that come in but it's not that much. Howard asked her about the moustache. She said that she's Italian so she has one.
Howard asked what she's going to do with the motorcycle she won by being the Playmate of the Year. She said that she's probably going to sell it. She's afraid to ride since everyone she knows who has one has been hurt.
Howard asked about the guys who hang out at the mansion and how they're all the same guys who have been around. Howard said Pauly Shore has been with a bunch of them. Claire said she hasn't seen him with any lately. Howard asked about Corey Feldman and if he does well. She said he has a weird braid in the back and she's not sure how he does.
Howard said he went to the mansion and he thinks that they need to do a renovation. Claire said she thinks they do need to do something but it's the same as it was in 1973. She said that the Grotto smells like the 1970s to her. She said everyone has sex there. She said it happens at every party they have there.
Claire is dating Hef's son so people think that she got the Playmate of the Year because of that. She said that she was already a playmate before she started dating him though. She said his son is 21 years old and she's 20. Howard asked if Marston is part of that Playboy empire. She said that he's going to school so he's not really part of it. Claire said that he lives at the mansion all summer so she'll be seeing him there. Howard said that she must be jealous that he's there with the other women. Claire said she's exclusive with him and she's cool with it.
Howard asked about the boyfriend she had before she started dating this guy. It was a high school boyfriend and she said he wasn't happy with her becoming a Playmate. She said he got jealous and that's understandable. She said she's only been with two guys her whole life. It's the last boyfriend and Hef's son.
Howard said that it would be weird if she slept with Hef and then slept with his son. Claire said that she doesn't think that anyone has been with the son other than her.
Howard asked if Marston had to work hard to get in her pants. Claire said that she lived across the street at the bunny house and she went to he mansion to eat and she became friends with him and it just evolved from there. She said that they knew each other for like 5 months before they started dating. She said that it was all of the time hanging around with him that led to the relationship. Howard asked if he's well hung. Claire laughed and said he is doing very well.
Howard asked about Hef and if he ever asked her to sleep with her. She said she has never done anything to him but she has been asked to his room to help out with some stuff. She said it was all very innocent.
Howard asked Claire about Hef's fiancee breaking off the wedding. Claire said that it's all very suspicious because her single came out the same day she called it off. Howard said he was reading about how she was shopping around some story about why she was breaking it off too. Claire said that she seems like a complete gold digger. She said that it was obvious to some of them. Howard said most 25 year olds aren't attracted to an 85 year old. Claire said that she thinks Holly was really attracted to him. She said that some girls can see past that. Claire said the whole thing was weird to her. She said that she doubts that Hef was in on the whole thing. She said that he must be hurt by it. Claire said that it must freak him out that she just left out of nowhere.
Howard asked Claire if everyone knows she's Marston's girlfriend and it's hands off. She said that they all know.
Howard asked Claire what she's going to do now that she's won the money and the Playmate of the Year thing. He said she seems very nice and intelligent. She didn't go to college. Claire said she became a Playmate just 6 months after she graduated high school. She said she wanted to be a pinup girl so she got into that. She said she loves the vintage look and that's what she wants to do.
Howard asked Claire about growing up in Long Beach and if she was the only white girl around. She said that it was like that for a little while.
Howard said Claire was saying that she can smell guy's armpits and tell them which one she would like. She said she thinks that she can tell from the pheromones if she's going to like a guy. Howard asked if they could have her blindfolded and have her sniff. She said she didn't want to do that bur she would do it for Howard.
Claire had said she didn't thinks he would ever marry Marston so Howard asked why that is. She said he's a bit of an oddball. She said that his armpits smell beautiful though. She said he has a pretty healthy sex drive too. Howard asked how many times a day they bang. She said it's not every day but they do it every time they see each other.
Howard said they're going to blindfold her and ask her to sniff them. Howard said Gange will blindfold her and they'll stick some armpits in her face. Howard said that she's going to smell 5 guys now. Claire said she's either going to be really offended or really turned on.
Howard said he's not going to talk. He told Robin to talk while he's doing all of this. Will was holding Claire to guide her. Claire said she did this on first dates. She would sniff guys.
Claire sniffed the first guy and she said it was covered up with deodorant. Howard had the second guy go. Claire sniffed and said there was no scent there. Number 3 was a little ''onion-ie''. She said it wasn't her favorite scent. She said that number 1 was okay. Number 2 she didn't know because it was phantom armpit. number 3 was a turn off. Number 4 went up and Claire said that smelled of deodorant and it was a nice B.O. Howard asked if she would be a boyfriend. She said that was a possibility. Number 5 smelled like a 1980s cologne. She said they were cheating with deodorant on.
Howard had number 6 go up. She sniffed and said it was musty. She said it was a good musty though. Howard had her sniff one more. She said ''Oh god...'' She said it smelled like an asshole. She said that was not good. She said it was offensive.
Howard introduced Claire to each one. Number 1 was JD. Number 2 was Howard with no scent at all. She said that he was a weirdo with no scent. Claire said that he must have wonderful hygiene. she's into some smell though. Number 3 was Gary and his onion-like smell. Number 4 was Ronnie. She said he smelled good and he was a candidate. Howard said that number 5 was Tim Sabean who smelled of Old Spice or 1980s cologne. Number 6 was Richard Christy. She was disgusted by him. Richard said he almost stuck his finger in his ass and put that up there too. Then Benjy went up and she said he smelled like asshole. Benjy said he ate ass last night so that's why.
Howard told Benjy to come over so he could smell him. Howard thought about it and said he didn't want to get involved with him. Howard said Claire said he got the worst of it. Howard said Benjy is gross. Claire said that's not her favorite type of sweat.
Gary told Howard that Richard came in and asked if he thought it would be funny that he stick his finger in his ass and put it in her face. Gary said he told him no.
Howard said he's glad he has no body odor. That's what he's going for. Howard said that he was proud that she didn't smell anything. Then she told him he was weird.
Howard asked Claire why she picked the name Claire Sinclair. Claire said that her father is the guy who secretly recorded OJ Simpson and that put him in jail. She said that he's a hero to some but to other's he's not. She wanted to change her name from Riccio to something else. She said she liked Claire Sinclair.
Howard asked Claire about how her father knew OJ and how that whole thing came about. She said that her father sells memorabilia and he tapes everything he does because people have screwed him in the past. Gary said that she thinks that she may have been conceived after he had escaped jail once. Claire said he had jumped over a brick wall when he was in jail for a deal that had gone wrong. She said that he got over the fence and escaped. She said he got out for a couple of years. She said that her parents are still involved together but they're divorced.
Claire said that her father went back to jail and then he won the lottery after getting out. She said that he won like $800,000. Howard said that's something. Claire told Howard that her sister is a Playboy Cyber Girl too.
Howard gave Claire a plug for her web site PinupClaireSinclair.com and some other stuff she's doing. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Claire if she would go out with a guy his age. She said she would. Howard asked how she thinks Hef looks. She said that he looks good for his age. Howard said he does not look good.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she would let JD sniff her panties. Claire said she won't let anyone sniff them.
Another caller asked if she was spanked as a child and if she likes to be spanked now. She said they didn't spank her. She said she does like to role play though so she might get spanked doing that. Howard asked her to do some role playing and do a voice. She does a voice like Luann from King of the Hill. She said that Britney Murphy played that part on the show so she thought it was kind of morbid even talking about it.
Howard asked her what she dresses up like. She said that she'll dress up like a cop and that's her favorite. Howard asked what she does when she dresses up like that. She will push her boyfriend up against the wall and frisk him. She said that it's just a gentle pat down though. Howard asked if she's into anal. She said that never works out. Howard asked if she will lick balls and ass. She said that she's not opposed to the balls. She said she has licked Marston's ass. Howard had Fred do his French accent and say some stuff to Claire. Claire said she loves Crazy Alice. She said she loves the Mel Gibson rants too. Fred played her some Crazy Alice clips and had her cracking up.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked her to take her top off. Howard asked if she would do that. She said that she had to bring in the Playboy to show off her boobs. She said that she's under contract so she can't show them there.
Claire asked Howard to sign something for her. He said he'd do that when he takes a break. Howard gave her some more plugs and then went to break.
Howard came back and had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his subjects for today's show. They spent a little time talking about Tatum O'Neal's appearance. Robin asked Howard how he felt about his ear not having a tick in it. Howard said he's okay now.
Robin started her news with a story about Vladimir Lenin. Robin said she always assumed that he was Jewish. She said they're saying that he actually was part Jewish. Robin said that's amazing that he was part Jewish and he was so anti-Semitic.
Robin read about the Bonnaroo concert going on and how another person has died at the concert. Robin had the details of both deaths. The latest one is due to hypothermia.
Robin read about singer Joss Stone and how they picked up two men who may have been planning to murder her. Robin said she has about $14 million from all of her acting and touring. Robin said they're not sure why they wanted to kill her because this arrest just happened. Robin said they found some stuff in their van that led them to believe that they were going to do something illegal. Robin played some of her music. Howard said it was awful that they wanted to hurt this woman. He said the song was a little awful too. He said the drums were too hot and it sounded like a door slamming. Fred threw in some door slamming sounds. He had Howard laughing at that. Howard said he's not that familiar with her tunes. Robin said she was hot for a short time but she's kind of disappeared.
Robin read about Charlie Sheen and how they're thinking about putting him in a new TV sitcom.
Robin read about Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper breaking her silence. Howard mentioned that Mike Walker is going to call in with some information on Arnold tomorrow. Howard asked Robin if she would marry Anthony Weiner or Charlie Sheen. Robin said she'd go with Weiner. She made that decision very quickly.
Robin read more about Arnold's housekeeper and how she's come out to talk about how Maria found out about her son Joseph being Arnold's. Howard asked Robin if she would marry Arnold or Sheen. Robin went with Arnold. Robin had some other details about that story. Howard said he heard the kid thought it was ''cool'' when he heard his dad was Arnold. Robin said that's what they claim in that article.
Robin read about how some of the people who helped track down Osama bin Laden down in Pakistan were arrested. Robin said they should have brought them to the United States after they got Osama. Howard said maybe they need to send in Team 7 to rescue them.
Robin read about how there's a Shaquille O'Neil sex tape floating around out there somewhere. Robin read the details about that.
Robin read about the opening of the Spider-Man play on Broadway. Howard said they keep inviting him to go down there. He said it seems important to the that he like it but he's been saying all along that it's a bad idea. He said it is getting some good reviews though. He's still not going. He said he hates musicals. Robin said she read a review by a woman who saw it before it opened and she liked it after the revamp. They went to break a short time later.
After the break, around 9:50am, Robin got back to her news and asked Howard if he thinks J-Lo will stay with American Idol. Howard said of course she will. Robin said that she only signed a one year contract. Howard figured she'll negotiate but she will come back.
Robin asked Howard if a DVR for radio would be good. Howard said it would but it's hard to do that because of licensing. Howard said that if you record something off the radio like music then the music companies will say that you're selling records. Robin said that there is a web site that's testing out a DVR service for radio. Howard said record companies can barely make any money. Howard said it's the end of the record business if this happens. Howard said they're going to have to come up with some kind of payment plan for the radio stations.
Robin said Marc Anthony was on hand to welcome President Obama to Puerto Rico yesterday. Robin said Marc posted some pictures on Twitter and said he was honored to be part of that ''historic moment.'' Robin had some of Marc's music that she had Howard play. Howard wondered if he's ever banged J-Lo to his own song. He said he pictures them having a loop of J-Lo's performances on the TV and her music playing around the house.
Robin read about Lady Gaga being number one in the best paid female celebrities. Howard said he read that her new album is tanking. Robin read that she brought in $170 million from her tour. She made $90 million from record sales.
Robin read about Justin Bieber and that led to Howard saying he's heard that the kid is a total nightmare to deal with. He said he looks like a sweet young boy but he's heard otherwise. Robin said Justin raked in $53 million from his tour. Howard said it freaks him out when he sees Justin with his girlfriend Selena Gomez. Robin said he came from a really religious family so it's great to see him totally corrupted. She loves seeing his mom sitting there while they're making out. Robin read about some other big stars and their incomes. That led to Howard talking about Kristen Stewart and how weird she is. Howard said he can't believe that Robert Patinson is still with her. Howard said she must be really good in bed.
Robin read about what it costs to get some of the former American Idol stars to make appearances. Robin said that Carrie Underwood is $350-500,000. Robin said that Kelly Clarkson is $250-300,000. Chris Daughtry is $200-300,000. Lee Dewyze is $15-25,000. Fantasia Barino is $50-75,000. Howard found that one hard to believe. He said that's what they're asking but he's sure he can get Fantasia cheaper. Howard said he could get Cheap Trick for like $15,000.
Robin read that Anthony Weiner's wife is due back in the country today. They're saying he might be waiting to resign until his wife gets home. Robin had some audio of some people talking about Weiner's behavior. Howard said it must be great when you're a psychiatrist and Anthony Weiner walks into your office.
Robin read about the bill in the New York State House about making same sex marriage legal in the state. Robin said they're one vote shy of passing it in the State Senate.
Robin read about an execution that's happening this week. Robin said the guy is asking for his last meal and he asked for three pieces of fried chicken, French fries, water melon and some cake. Howard said that sounded like Jon Hein and Jason's regular diet.
Robin read about the new Green Lantern movie that's coming out soon. Robin had some audio of Blake Lively talking about working in that movie. She had never heard of Green Lantern before working on the movie.
Robin had some audio of Angela Lansbury talking about working with Jim Carrey on ''Mr. Poppers Penguins.'' They ended the show after that. It was about 10:10am.
Benjy said that if Tatum has love for her dad that's up to her. He said that she was kind of making it seem like she's trying to humiliate her dad on that TV show she's doing. Gary said that she seemed to be giving him a pass on some things he's done to her but not on others. The guys were trying to figure out if she was trying to expose him or what she was trying to do with that show. Jon said the show seems to be in that reality TV show genre so he's not sure why she didn't think it was.
Gary said that he felt that she was hoping to come out the winner once she exposes her dad for what he is. He said he did have a little bit of sadness for her when he met her today. Jason said he doesn't know what happened with her and John McEnroe. Gary said they talk about it in that special that Howard watched the other day. He said that John was really famous and Tatum was really famous and they were a really famous couple. John had to take the kids away from her and raise them himself. He didn't think that she was doing her job.
Benjy asked if she has a relationship with John now. Gary said you have to if you have kids. He said he watched something with John and Kate and it can be almost nothing or you can go over and visit. He said it could be somewhere in between and it's not clear what it is. The guys talked about how she wasn't able to say that she wasn't still in love with John McEnroe either. They said Howard really hit on something there.
Gary and the guys talked about some of the really crazy stuff that Ryan O'Neal did to Tatum when she was growing up. They talked about Tatum being in charge of her own money at the age of 10 and how crazy that seemed. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Jon said he wanted to move on to Claire Sinclair. He said that she came in and talked about dating Hef's son and things like that. He said that things got crazy when she did the armpit smelling thing. Jon said her use of adjectives were interesting. He said that JD did okay but then Howard went and she said he was odorless. He seemed flattered until she said he was some kind of weirdo. Gary said that she said he had an onion smell and he's thinking that maybe she smelled his breath. Gary said that Benjy smelled like an asshole so he's the best of the worst. Richard was musty and gross and Tim was Old Spice and 1980s. Ronnie was natural smelling with his Mambo scent.
Ronnie said he liked being one of the cool guys in the contest. He said he's not getting anything out of it though. Benjy said he thought he smelled really good today and he wasn't offended. Ronnie said he saw Benjy sitting in his seat and he was sniffing his armpits. Benjy said he likes the way they smell. Benjy said he's curious about Gary's pits. He asked to sniff them. Benjy did that and said that it was a pleasant smell and it was a tiny bit sweet. Benjy sniffed his breath and he said it wasn't 100 percent fresh but it wasn't bad.
Jason asked how Benjy's pit could smell as bad as she made it sound. She actually stepped back when she sniffed.
Teddy smelled Benjy and said he smelled like an Italian hero. Ronnie said that Claire said he smelled okay and Howard turned on him saying that he smelled musty and old. He said that he finally got something positive said and Howard turned it on him.
Benjy asked if the guys have deodorant on today. Ronnie said he has Mambo deodorant on. He said that it comes with a gift pack of the cologne. Gary asked if he has gallons of that stuff. Ronnie said he doesn't. Jon asked if he's a spokesperson for them. Ronnie said he's not. He said that you can buy the stuff online but it's not in stores anymore. He said that they get it in some stores but not on a regular basis. Jon asked if he thinks there's something wrong with that when stores don't keep it in stock. Ronnie said he doesn't mind that.
Gary asked if anyone else there wears cologne other than Ronnie. Jon Hein said he does, every day. The guys all said that he does a good job because they don't smell him.
Ronnie said his weekend deodorant is Mambo. He said he uses Gillette during the week usually. Today he prepared with the Mambo today because he has one in his car. He said that one is small so he takes it on vacation with him.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she recently bought Mambo as a gag gift and they think Ronnie is a complete dick hole. She said that she actually likes Mambo and it's not that bad. She said she got the gift set from a web site. Ronnie said the stuff used to be $70 a bottle. She got it for 20 bucks. Gary said that's the worst name for a cologne. He said it sounds weird.
Jon asked the caller if smelling the armpits is a reasonable thing to do. She didn't think so. She got back to the Mambo and said that it's really not that bad smelling. She said she likes other scents but she will ask her boyfriend to wear this stuff.
Jon asked Ronnie where he puts the stuff on his body. Ronnie said he uses the deodorant under his arms only. He puts the cologne on his neck. He said he uses two sprays. He jokingly said on the weekends he uses half a bottle probably. He said he does use more but it's not a half bottle.
Jason said Benjy said he wasn't wearing deodorant today. Benjy said he wasn't and he has to get more of the Tom's shit. Jason said that's like not brushing your teeth. Benjy said he usually wears deodorant and he knew they were doing the thing with the girl today so he didn't wear it. Benjy said a lot of women can identify their husband by the smell of their shirt. He said it's not that strange.
Benjy said he was reading that cucumbers and sweat are what make women wet. That's what he read somewhere. Jon went to break after that.
Jon said that Dr. Billy was talking about the things that he's pulled out of people's asses. They spent a few seconds talking about that.
Jon said that Howard seems to be fascinated by fast food and he used to be into eating it years ago. He said his parents stopped him from eating that crap many years ago.
Jason said he learned a new rule that Jon has about when you can eat at a baseball game. He said he's so regimented. Jon said he never eats after the 7th inning stretch. Jason said he gets it too but he's not going to limit when he can eat it.
Shuli said he learned that Jon is so into fast food he had a story about the dots on the Domino's pizza box. Jon said he went to school in Ann Arbor where they started Domino's. He said that the dots were the first three locations of Domino's.
Gary said he knows that Jon eats fast food. He said he went on a trip with him once and they went to a sushi place. He said that he ended up paying a fortune for chicken skewers at that place. He went on another trip with him and he let Jon pick the place to eat that time. Jon said he picked In and Out Burger that time.
Jason said that Jon once insisted that they go out to eat at a wings place instead of a nice Italian place. Jon said you go to those places when you're on a ski trip, not a nice place.
Gary and Jason both worked at a Roy Rogers when they were growing up. They talked about the people who would come in and live off the fixin's bar. Benjy was one of those people who would do that.
Gary said that Jackson was up there once and he saw Jon's list of things he hates about Burger King. He said his son asked him what was up with him and that list.
Jon doesn't eat spaghetti and he said he had a bad experience as a kid and he hasn't eaten it since then. Jon said he's not as bad as they all think he is. He said he does eat some seafood and he's not all about the fast food. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show joking around with Robin about her being his honey. He said they have to keep that quiet or his wife will find out.
Howard said Wolfie was at comic-Con recently and he was listening to a clip of one of these guys who is dressed up in a costume. He said that you find out they're on SSI and they don't work. He said he knows a lot of his listeners are on SSI. He said that makes him think about how this guy is supported the rest of his life. Howard wondered what country does this for people. Robin said they do that in England and they call it ''being on the dole'' and they live off of that.
Howard played the audio of the interview Wolfie did with this 35 year old guy dressed up like a Jedi. Howard said the last 3 Star Wars movies were crap and who would want to be dressed up like a Jedi? He said their powers are very inconsistent. He said the dark side looks so much cooler to him.
Howard played more of that and the guy talks about being on SSI and Disability. He said he gets really bad headaches so that's why he's on disability. Howard said he has headaches too. He said this guy really has the answer, the Government should pay him. Howard said he knows people who have real disabilities and they deserve the money, not this guy.
Howard said it's like pot in California. You can get any doctor to write a prescription for you. He said this SSI sounds the same. You just go in and ask for it and they give it to you. Robin said there are people who can't get the help they need but this guy can. Howard said this guy could get a job making Jedi costumes or something. He said that would give him a headache because it's a colossal waste of time.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's on SSI but he has deep psychological problems. The guy said he gets deeply depressed at work. Howard said he gets depressed too. He said it gets really bad on Sunday nights because he has to go to work on Monday mornings. He said he hates getting up in the morning and he hates working.
The caller said that it took him a few years to get on SSI. It's not as easy as Howard makes it seem. He gets about $675 a month for that. Howard said he gets all kind of help and he never has to worry about it unless the government gets shut down. The caller said if the government shuts down then he has to worry. Howard said this guy claims to have psychological problems. Who doesn't? The caller said that Howard has an outlet to get out his problems. He said if he had an outlet like Howard he could do that too. The caller said he's had jobs before. Howard said they sounded like awful jobs. Howard said he probably figured he could make the same kind of money sitting at home collecting SSI.
The caller said that he makes web sites as a hobby but he can't find anyone to hire him. He said he builds his own web sites and he makes a little money here and there. He said that doesn't stress him out. Howard said that sounds good.
The caller said that Howard hung up on him a few years ago because he said he sounded like George W. Bush. Howard hung up on him and took another call.
The next caller said that there are other people who milk the system for all it's worth. He said that people in their 20s say they have a bad back and they will never have to work. Howard said the bad back thing is a psychological thing and that's what he learned from Dr. Sarno. Howard said if you have pain then so what. Howard said he has pain every day of his life. He said he could be on that SSI but he's not.
Howard said he got up this morning and saw a guy on the street he had never met. The guy shook his hand. He said he started freaking out about the hand shake. He was obsessing about getting sick and germs crawling up his arm. He said he went back up to his apartment and got some hand gel. He wanted to wash them but he was running late. Howard said he didn't think the hand gel was going to do the job. Howard said he got to work and ran to his bathroom and the door was locked. He said he went to his office and got more hand gel. He said he was using even more of that. He said he was thinking about how his hands were infected. He said this is what he would tell the SSI guy to get his $600 a month.
Howard said he thought about not touching his face and all of that. He went into the bathroom that was unlocked now. He said the bathroom is such shit that you press down on the water and get 3 seconds of water. He said he's not sure why they can't set it for 3 minutes. He's the only one using it. The water is ice cold too. He was trying to wash his hands and the hand gel was being washed off but that's about it. He was hitting the button every three seconds. He said he told Gary to get someone to fix it. Gary said ''good luck'' because he's the enemy around there lately. Howard said he's suing them to get money he's owed and they're pissed at him. He said it's unbelievable. Howard said if he focuses on that then the whole 4 hours is going to go away.
Howard said Gary sat down and told him what was up this morning. Howard said he couldn't stop thinking about this whole thing. Gary came in and said that Scott DePace came in and told him that they had talked about getting the InstaHot water heater for the bathroom. They had taken it out for budgetary reasons. Howard said he must not need hot water. He said he can take a dump and wash in cold water. Howard said there wouldn't even be a Sirius there if he hadn't come over. Howard said they seem to forget that. He said the guys who were there aren't even there anymore. Except for Scott Greenstein and he doesn't remember that.
Howard said he met with all of these guys who were running the thing and they asked him to sell some radios. He said he had a 9 share on terrestrial radio and he came over there to sell some radios for them. He said they looked at him like he was their savior. He said they were thanking him for saving them. He said that they had 600,000 subscribers and no one even know what it was as Joe Clayton told him. He said he told Joe people were going to know once he got there. He said they backed the right horse. Howard said he's like a work horse or a mule and management looks at him like he's a piece of shit. Howard said all management did was lower the stock price and bonus themselves.
Howard said there was a massive depression around there. A lot of people were working and no one was listening. Howard said they now say that they don't owe him any money. Howard said they say they're still two different companies but then they claim that they have 20 million subscribers. He said it's fucking retarded around there.
Howard said he's sorry he got distracted. He got back to the hand gel thing. Howard said he told Gary he couldn't think straight before the show started. Howard said he's sure he could get SSI over this. He said he really doesn't realize that nothing is on his hands. Howard said he wants help and told Robin to help him now. Robin said he may be crazier than she is. Howard said she could be on SSI with him. Howard said he's as nutty as a fruitcake. He said at least he's not violent.
Howard said he's all for affirmative action too. He said that guys like Bush got a break so why not give a poor kid a break too? He said he's not sure how anyone can call themselves conservative or liberal. He said you should take things on a case by case basis like he does. He said that these guys like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity only see things one way.
Howard said Bill Clinton was like him. He said he was conservative or liberal at times. He said that was a man and they should make him President again. Howard said he swoons over that man. He said he doesn't care about the blow jobs.
The caller said Ronald Reagan was very liberal with some stuff too. He talked about that and said that he had a very conservative fiscal policy but he had liberal leanings too. Howard said people don't seem to remember this. Howard said Bill Clinton was the perfect representative of people in this country. Howard said he would cut down on SSI if he were president. Howard said there are people who like working. He said they're usually people having fun like actors. Howard said it's not fun working. He said he gets up at 4 in the morning and that makes it work right there. Howard said he was up beating off last night so he could get to sleep. He said he went to bed at 10 and then had to get up at 4. He had a headache and then some guy shook his hand. He said he's not looking for a hand out. He said that would never occur to him.
Howard said that guy who called earlier should just go to work. He said that Oprah worked and she quit because it was making her mental. Howard said there are kooks out there who do like work but there aren't many. He said he can't think of any who actually do. Gary said he thinks that Regis likes work. Robin said Jay Leno does too.
The caller said that guy on the phone earlier should be kicked in the head for taking SSI for headaches. Howard said it's like an ATM for life. Howard said there are people out there who can't work for good reasons who should be getting SSI. Howard said getting headaches isn't a good reason. He said the other guy with the psychological problems sounded fine to him too.
Howard said he has problems flushing his crap down the toilet. Howard read the article where they say that the sewer pipes are clogging up because there isn't enough water flowing. The lack of water is leaving the poop in the pipes and causing an odor. Howard said this is all because of the hippies that want the low flow toilets. Howard said you need the water to get the shit to flow. Howard said they're saying that San Francisco is spending money on some bleach to cut down on the cost. Howard said they're pouring bleach into the drains. Howard asked if they realize why we're getting cancer now. He said he understands the toilet problem because he has these green toilets.
Howard said he had a toilet that was violently strong. He said that he was afraid that his asshole was going to get sucked out. Howard said he was afraid of an ass abortion. Robin said he loves going to England because they have great toilets there. She said they don't use much water but they have some way of making it work.
Howard said he saw a guy on Twitter yesterday talking about his Toto toilet and the problems it has. He said that he had to get off Twitter because of what he was writing. Howard said he loves that Toto. He said he looks at what the thing flushes out of his ass. Howard said he saw what looked like sediment in there. It was like a fine grit. He said he was very proud of the Toto. He still has to wipe with baby wipes after that thing does its work.
Howard said he likes to pee when the water is shooting up his ass. He said that's his only pleasure. He said he's so fucked up.
Howard said this was supposed to be a hobby. Now he's in competition with Annie Liebowitz. Howard said he has the pictures on his phone and wanted to show them to Robin. Robin said that they don't look good on the phone.
Howard said he was reading this guy Bob Lefsetz column and he was talking about how he got away from Facebook and just started using Twitter. Robin said she doesn't get Facebook. Howard said it's like the hot club right now and it's going to go away eventually.
Howard said Bob was writing about how vulnerable these sites can be when the content is user created. He said that they will fade away eventually. Howard said that Bob was talking about how the guys who own Facebook should have sold the thing because they really don't have anything. As soon as something cooler comes along then it's bye-bye.
Howard read about this guy Mario Comesanas who worked on the Liquid Metal channel. He said that he worked there 10 years and he was 30 years old. He said Mario passed away. He said he was a dedicated guy to metal music. He died of an aggressive form of Leukemia. Robin said he had just found out that he had it. Howard said he's not sure if he met the guy or not. He said he looks kind of like Booker a little bit. He said he needs a shave. Howard read about how the guy got started and how he came up there to work. Howard asked Gary if he had ever met him. Gary wasn't sure. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who asked if he's ever had sex without a rubber with Beth. Howard said he did last week. He said he uses them all the time but sometimes it happens. He said sometimes the rubber can just kind of be over. He said that you have to get out and the woman gets aggravated. He said that he has to do what he has to do. The caller said that's good to hear. Howard asked why he cares. The caller said Howard is the man of all men and he likes to hear that.
Howard said he thinks that a lot of guys are gay when they say they can't enjoy sex with a condom on. Howard said there are certain people who tell him that. He did an impression of Ralph telling him that. Howard said a condom doesn't even slow him down. Robin said she hears that from a lot of men. Howard said they must be gay. He said if a man is turned on by a woman a garbage pail wouldn't even slow them down. He said the vagina is a tremendous thing. Howard said that Robin has a super power and it's ''poosy'' as Little Lupe says.
Another caller told Howard the interview with Tatum O'Neal was great yesterday. He asked if her brother had as much of a hard time as Tatum did. Howard said he didn't really get into everything with her. He said that the interview got back to her dad because he was calling there asking for a copy of the interview. Howard said they told him to come in and talk about it there instead.
The caller said that he had a heart attack so he's on disability. Howard said that he should be on it then. He understands that. Howard said he knows guys who have had heart attacks and they work every day. He said you almost have to drop dead to deserve it.
Howard played Sal's voice mail where he talked about being sick and sounding like he wasn't really sick. Howard said Sal is there today because he's going to Los Angeles to do a show with Richard. Howard played more of the clip and Sal was giving too much of an explanation. Howard said he could have just said he was sick and wasn't coming in.
Sal came in and told Howard that he was in Harlem yesterday and he was about to pass out. He said he may have had food poisoning or something. Howard told him to leave because he didn't want whatever shit he had. Sal came back in yelling about how he didn't want to be called ''shady.'' Howard asked why he's yelling at him. Sal said calling him shady is wrong. Howard called him shady anyway. Sal said he wins, he's the boss. Howard told him to go make phony phone calls.
Howard said Sal is fine and he wasn't really sick. He played more of his voice mail that he left for Gary. Howard said he loves sick calls. Sal was talking about how he had to go call Brian Phelan to let him know he won't be driving in with him. Howard said he was over explaining it all. He said he thinks that Sal was really sick but he didn't have to over explain it like that.
Steve Brandano was out at a bar watching the game and he recorded some of what was going on there. Howard said the people up in Canada were rioting after the game. Howard said Gary was talking about how upsetting it would be to go to the game and then come out and see people flipping cars and stuff. Howard said the world is filled with idiots. Gary told Howard about how people were kicking this one car like it had done something wrong.
Howard played the audio that Steve got at the bar he was at. He was talking to a really drunk guy who was rambling on and on about this Barry Melrose guy. >Howard said the guy was obsessing over a stupid hockey game.
Howard said Sal and Richard went up to Harlem to ask about Tracy Morgan. Howard played some of that audio and said that every black guy was defending Tracy. The first guy was saying that you aren't born gay, you choose who to be with so the whole gay thing was blown out of proportion.
Howard said this is why it's going to be hard to get the same sex marriage thing passed. He said the right thing to do is vote for it to be passed but these guys think about themselves and getting themselves reelected. Howard said these attitudes are unbelievable.
Howard played more of Sal and Richard's interviews and they were asking who was more offensive, Tracy Morgan or Howard Stern. All of the guys were saying Howard Stern. Howard said he had another guy who was defending Tracy. That guy was saying if his son was born gay he would have to accept it. He said Howard Stern is more offensive than Tracy Morgan is.
Howard played an interview Wolfie did with some women where he made up a story about Howard buying a stripper a $100,000 sports car. The women believed the story and said they think that's what Howard Stern would do. Howard said women were all over him yesterday and he didn't even do anything. Howard said Wolfie is going to go out and do more of those kind of interviews. Robin asked if one of these days this will come back to haunt him. Howard said the NY Post printed that story years ago and it wasn't true. Robin said they're making it true by playing this.
Howard said that he would never do anything like that and he has never done it. He said he will never do it and he will never betray his wife. He said he's a good man damn it. Howard said he did think about Wolfie going out and doing that because he had that feeling that it might turn into a story.
Howard played the press conference where Gloria was talking about why they were there. She said they were there to talk about the ''relationship'' between this stripper, Ginger Lee, and Anthony Weiner. Howard said all she did was text the guy. Gloria gave the rundown of what this was all about. Gary came in and told Howard how if you search ''Ginger Lee'' on Google you come up with nude pictures of her all over. Yesterday they had her dressed up like a court reporter.
Howard made up what the press conference should have sounded like with Allred talking about all of the sex toys she has available and all of the porn movies she's appeared in.
Howard said he's not sure why they're holding this press conference. Robin said they were saying they wanted to get away from all of this then why hold the press conference? Howard said they're trying to show that she's a respectable person and she cares about issues. Howard said he should have been there talking about what she can do. Howard did some more of that and talked about how there would be no lap dances or sucking and fucking at the press conference.
Howard said a lot of porn chicks get into real estate after they get out of the business. He said that it's really hard work selling houses. He said it's not that easy. Howard said you can't just get out of porn and sell houses. He said it's actually very difficult. Howard said he wouldn't mind going around with her for the day looking at houses. He said maybe she can start spanking him. Howard imagined what that would be like.
Howard said he had to pee in a public place the other day. He said he was in a stall but it was at a urinal. He said he went to whip it out but all he has is a head. He said he's really small when he's flaccid. Howard said he has a bump and he's barely clearing the zipper. He said he ends up tucking his underpants under his penis to support it. He said there's a little nub there that he uses to pee. He bets that Robin's clitoris is bigger than his penis. Robin said her clitoris is very dainty.
Steve Langford finally got to his news preview. He told Howard about an article that was written about what Anthony Weiner could learn from Howard.
Howard ended up talking about Anthony Weiner and how his wife came home from being out of the country. Howard said that he was obsessing thinking about what happened when Weiner's wife got home. He said he must have been apologizing for what was going on. He said there has to be a camera on all of this. He said he wished he was a ghost and he could go watch what's going on. Howard wondered what they say to each other when they see each other. He can't even imagine what that conversation would be.
Howard read some headlines about that and they're calling him a rat. Howard said the wife must be freaking out about that. She's a rat by association. Howard said he imagines her telling him to fix all of that for her. He wondered what Weiner was doing. He said that he'd have to sit on the bed with a gun in his mouth to get her to listen. Howard imagined Bill Clinton telling the wife to come and stay at their place. He did his Clinton impression for a minute.
Steve got back to his preview and ran down some things that Ronnie was saying about Bob Lefsetz. Howard said Bob was talking about Lady Gaga and how her album has tanked and mentioned Ronnie the Limo Driver in that. Ronnie said that's not the way Steve put it yesterday. Howard said Bob wasn't being negative. Ronnie said he has 104,000 followers now. Howard said Bob was saying that the album wasn't good but the Adele album was good so that's why it didn't tank.
Howard asked Ronnie how his TV show thing is going. Ronnie said that Don Buchwald and Associates are taking care of all of that. Howard said Don must have told him not to say ''Don Buchwald'' is working on it. Ronnie said that they're working on helping him out. They have one of their agents working on it. Howard said he has to say that one of the associates is working on it. Howard said Don is embarrassed by Ronnie saying that he's representing him. Ronnie said he's not embarrassed.
Howard said he knows Don so he knows what he's saying when he tells him what to say. He asked when they're going to tape this pilot. Ronnie said he doesn't have a date yet. He said he's waiting to hear about the other show. Ronnie said he's at Rick's tonight in Indianapolis tonight. He said he'll be there all weekend. Next weekend he's doing another Ronnie's Block Party in Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.
Ronnie said he might be working with Scott the Engineer again. He's not sure if he's supposed to talk about that. He asked Scott if he wants him to talk about that. Howard said Ronnie has gotten huge in his 60s. Ronnie said that this all came about because of Twitter.
Ronnie said Scott has a gig at Harrah's soon. He said he's gong to be there with DJ Hollywood and now they want him to come down to judge a contest. Ronnie said he'll go down there for that.
Howard said Scott is a lump on a log at these appearances. Howard said he heard that Scott said to Shuli that he didn't want to be a DJ at the events anymore. He said Shuli asked him what he wanted to do. Scott said he wanted to co-host with Ronnie. Ronnie asked how stupid that is. He said the stage is like 5x5.
Scott came in and said they bitched and moaned last time so it was Shuli who said that he could co-host. He said that Shuli just tries to stir up shit. He said he wants to do a good job for these people. Howard said he has to do something up there so that's what the DJ thing does for him. Scott said he understands that.
Ronnie said that Scott looked miserable the last time they did the show. He said that they did a meet and greet and Scott didn't want to do it. Ronnie said that's what they get paid for though. Howard said Scott finally gets to go out and do something and someone wants to take a photograph with him and get his autograph and all Scott wants to do is eat.
Ronnie asked what he's going to be doing at Harrah's. Scott said that they're great down there. They're going to be hosting and DJ'ing with DJ Hollywood. They're going to have a contest and they're going to judge it. Scott is going to be the host there.
Ronnie said he loves Scott to death. He said they're doing this comedy thing next Friday night at Orchards in Chambersburg. He said they're going to stay over night out there. He said that Scott asked where they were staying and it's in this place called The Desert Inn. Scott tried to find it but he wasn't able to. He said there are 14 hotels there but no Desert Inn. Ronnie said he made it up in his head and told Scott about it. He said Scott was going to Shuli asking where it was and all of that. Scott said he just gave Ronnie a great gig and now he's busting his balls.
Howard asked why these guys aren't working. He said Scott is busy looking stuff up on the web. Scott said it wasn't during work hours. Howard said he heard Scott had her looking for it online too. Scott said she decided to look it up herself. He didn't have anything to do with it.
Ronnie told Howard that Gange isn't allowed to go to Rick's this weekend. He said that they must have put the kibosh on that. Howard said Gange loves going too. Ronnie said he's not sure who told him no. Howard asked Doug what's up with that. Gary said Doug isn't in and no one is sure why he can't go. Gary said Gregg was telling him that it was self imposed by Gange.
Howard said Gange is creepy and he's involved with all of the stuff that has to do with chicks. Howard said he always has to be involved with the Miss Howard TV girls and all of that. He said it was insane what was going on there with the girls. He said Doug was shooting their pictures personally too. He said it's all very creepy. He said they claim they have no budget and they're too busy to do stuff but then they're taking pictures of the girls and double interviewing them.
Howard said Gange was bull shitting about all of that. Howard asked where Doug and Gange were. He figured there are no hot chicks on the show today so that's why they're not there. Gary said Gange was in yesterday when the Playmate of the Year was in there. Gange even tried to get on line to get sniffed when she was sniffing armpits. Howard said he blocked that from happening. Howard said Gange was in line but he went ''what the fuck?'' and told him to get out. He had Benjy go up instead.
Ronnie said that he asked Gange what he was doing there yesterday and he said he was there to help out with the Playmate segment. Ronnie asked ''Can you blame him?'' He said he's such a good guy though. Howard said he is a nice kid when he's not sending porn tapes to your kid's teacher.
Howard had Steve finish up his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Sal and Richard heading west to meet with fans. They're not doing a show out there, they're just doing a meet and greet. Howard thanked Steve for the updates and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Benjy's friend Marianne Garvey was at that Gloria Allred and Ginger Lee press conference. She said it was pretty funny. Howard had her on the phone. Marianne said that all of the reporters were laughing at the whole thing. She said they thought she was going to announce a lawsuit. She said that Gloria kept handing Ginger tissues like she thought she was going to cry but she never did.
Howard said he knows what she's doing. He said Gloria gets publicity out of this. He said he read the article and the girl started stripping again last night so that's what this was all about. She's now back to dancing again. Marianne said it was a great. Howard thanked her for the call and said he was going to play some clips.
Howard said he heard that Benjy doesn't wear deodorant when he was on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Benjy said he was out of it and he usually wears it. Fred said there are days that he gets a strong whaft from that side of the room. He said he thought that the Playmate liked stink. Robin said she likes smell, not stink.
Howard played some Wrap Up Show clips where Ronnie was talking about his Mambo deodorant and how he usually just uses it on the weekends. He told the guys about the gift pack he gets and how sometimes it's small and sometimes large. He said people would buy it as gifts for him.
Howard said Beth can smell that Mambo from a mile away. He said that she can smell it when Ronnie is out in the car and he's waiting to drive him.
Howard had more audio clips to play. He said that he might have to play more of the Gloria Allred stuff. That's what Robin asked to hear. Howard played Allred talking more about this Ginger Lee and what was going on with her and Anthony Weiner. Howard said Ginger Lee was at a strip club in Atlanta last night.
Howard played more of the audio where Ginger Lee was talking about how Weiner had asked her to lie about the whole thing and how it would calm down and go away if she did that. Ginger said she tried to do that and hoped it would go away but it did not. Howard said this was a really boring press conference. He said it's really lame. Howard said that he was starting to feel bad for Anthony Weiner. He said all he did was text this woman and talk about his penis being inflated. He found the one stripper that had thoughts on the issues.
Howard played another clip where they went through some of the email she got from Weiner. They read what he wrote to her about having wardrobe demands and telling her he needed something to highlight his package. Howard said the guy is a freaky guy. Howard said he must not have any feeling for Huma. Howard said he really should just get out.
In the clip Gloria was reading the notes Weiner had sent to this woman. Gary came in and said that they're not reading Ginger Lee's posts. He said he had some of them. Gary said that she was saying she wanted to have sexual relations with him but not directly to him. She was telling other people that. Gloria Allred didn't read any of that in the press conference.
Howard played more of the audio and Gloria was reading the texts. Howard said this was really boring. Then someone asked if Ginger had said she wanted to have sexual relations with him. Gloria asked for a moment. Howard gave up on the clips after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who pointed out that guys never have a 24 hour bug on the weekends. Howard said he believes that Sal was really sick.
Howard said this guy on the phone is the guy from Canada who asked about the Superfan contest and why they can't have them enter. Howard said they would have to abide by the laws up there in Canada that would make it tough on them. He said they could be brought up on charges up there if they did something wrong. Howard said he gets why they don't do it. He said he could end up in jail in Canada if he violated something.
The caller asked if he could get a tour there. Howard said he thinks that they stopped that. Gary confirmed that they have stopped the tours. The caller said he's legally blind. He doesn't have any peripheral vision. Howard asked what he's doing to prepare for the eventual blindness. The guy said he's been using a cane the past few years. He can't read but he can read stuff on TV. He said it's not easy but he can see a little. He just turned 40. He was diagnosed at 22.
Howard asked what he's going to do when he's completely blind. The guy, Kevin, said he's going to listen to Howard. He said he'll clean the house and things like that. Kevin said that he would give him the tour up there but it's really not all that good. He said you come up and he's gone. He said you see Scott the Engineer if you're lucky. Kevin said he wouldn't mind that.
Gary said people do like coming in to see the studio. He said that he points out where everyone sits and he shows them the Sybian and things like that. Gary said they do enjoy the tour. He said it's not much. Gary said that he will have him on the Wrap Up Show if he wants.
Robin said that's a drag to have retinitis pigmentosis. Kevin said it's not that bad. He started to explain it but Howard got depressed and put him on hold.
Howard took another call from a guy who said Ryan O'Neal and Tatum were on Good Morning America and Ryan was going off on Howard. Howard said he should be going off on Tatum for talking about him on his show. Howard said he didn't do anything wrong. Gary said he saw some of it and Tatum seems to be kind of embarrassed by what she said on the show. He said she was holding his hand and didn't want to deal with the whole thing. Howard said that's when you know you did a good interview when people don't want to talk about what they said.
Howard said a week doesn't go by when he doesn't see his name mentioned in an article. He said they're the only ones doing a good interview there. Howard asked how you can stay away from this show when that's what people are talking about all the time. He said it's crazy. He said they must be blessed that way.
Howard asked where the clip is. He said it must not be available. Jason told him he'd have the clip in 10 seconds. Gary told Howard where it was on his computer.
Howard had some Riley Martin clips to play too. Howard played a clip of E-Ron taking a call from Eric in Michigan and Riley saying ''Hello Eric in Mex-igan.''
Howard was looking for the Good Morning America clip but he saw another one where this girl farts on a guy's head in a box. He said he wanted to hear that first. Howard played it and this girl was farting into a box that this guy had his head in. Howard said he's never heard a girl fart like that before. He wondered who would jerk off to that. Sal told Howard that he saw her asshole busting in and out so it was a real fart. He said a fan sent that in and he didn't jerk off to it. Howard said he'd bet he did jerk off to it.
Howard said he has been contacted by a bunch of directors who want to put together that Anthony Weiner Broadway play he was singing. Robin said that it really did sound like a Broadway play. Howard said the music doesn't even matter. He said that's the best thing about a musical.
Howard created more of his Anthony Weiner musical when Fred played some music. He made up the lyrics and just sang about Weiner's life.
Howard said he could have Bill Clinton walk in and get into the musical. Fred played different music for that. Howard did his Clinton impression and had him and Weiner talking.
Howard said Ryan is the bad man but everyone is tip toeing around him trying to protect him. Howard said it's great. Robin said that's a great position to be in. Howard said it's a position of power.
Howard said he found it funny that Tatum didn't want to call her show a reality show. She was calling it a docudrama. Howard said that he feels sorry for her and what she had to go through in her life. Robin said she still doesn't have the self confidence to call him an idiot.
Howard said he was going to make the point that some people whine about their lives but she doesn't do that and he looks at her and goes ''Whoa!'' and wonders how she made it. Robin said she's still not well and seeing things clearly. Howard said that you want to look at her and tell her not to let the guy brainwash her.
Howard said Jon Hein and Jason's love of fast food was something they got a lot of feedback on. Howard read through some of that email and people were saying Jon Hein is way too consumed with fast food marketing. Some people sent in their favorite fast foods.
Howard read about Jason's fast food issues and how he's going to end up having health issues if he keeps it up. Howard read one that said Burger King is the only place that sells veggie burgers out of the major fast food places.
Howard asked Jason if he's had any health issues. Jason said he hasn't yet. He said he went to the doctor when he turned 30 and he had the whole test thing done on him.
Mike said that Howard once described him as his best friend. Howard said he's his best friend because he hasn't written anything shitty about him in the National Enquirer. Mike said Howard is gossip proof. He doesn't do anything wrong.
Howard said he doesn't go anywhere and he loves his wife and adores her so he doesn't go out. Robin said he didn't even do anything when he was dating.
Howard asked Mike what's going on with Arnold Schwarzenegger and where is he? Howard said they're shocked that he's vanished. He asked how he pulled that off. Mike said Arnold is at his house. He said he hasn't left. Mike said his house is up in a canyon and it's guarded so they don't bother him out there. Mike said Arnold lays low. He said he's in hiding and laying low. Mike said they did a story about how he had called his hair dresser recently and asked him to open up early so he could come in and get his hair cut. Mike said he did open early. Howard asked why he didn't just have him over to his house. Mike said that's not Arnold's M.O.
Mike said that Arnold has had lunch with his kids without Maria. He said he has gone out to do that. Howard asked if the new kid is at the lunch. Mike laughed and said no. Mike said that Arnold isn't going out that much. He said it's very hard to keep track of him but he is out riding his motorcycle and things like that. Howard said he won't be able to stay out of the public eye for long. Howard said he figures he'll do Leno or something. Mike said he probably will but they've heard nothing yet.
Mike told Howard that Arnold still thinks that Maria will come back to him. Mike said they have some audio of Arnold talking about ''the pump'' and how he has sex all the time. Howard asked if he thinks that he has more love kids. Mike laughed. He didn't say anything. Howard asked Mike if he's Arnold's son. Mike asked if Howard is. Howard said he wishes he was.
Howard asked Mike if he knows anything more about the Anthony Weiner story. Mike said they've pretty much gotten it all out there. Mike said that they have a great cover this week for the National Enquirer. He said they have a picture of Anthony Weiner wearing skin tight tights and sneakers and he's looking into the camera and he's wearing a woman's bra. Howard said he might be gay or a cross dresser. He said that whole posing thing and shaving down is very odd. Howard said he's more consumed with his cock and putting it into outfits.
Gary came in and said that picture is from when he was in college. Howard said that's not unfair. Mike said they say that in the story that it was from a costume party. Mike said Gary had rudely interrupted him and didn't let him get that out. Mike said that his college roommates said that he did weird stuff like that a lot though.
Howard said he saw Arnold's illegitimate kid and the kid really looks like Arnold. He said that must freak the other kids out. Howard thanked Mike for the call and let him go a short time later. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about Anthony Weiner before they went to break.
Howard came back and talked about how this isn't one of his favorite songs. He said it's too happy. Robin said he doesn't like happy songs. Robin said it's alright to be happy. Howard said he has no interest in happy songs like that. Howard said he likes Neil Young songs because they're like a dirge. Howard said he likes damaged people too. He said that's why he's so turned on by Tatum O'Neal.
Howard said he was reading about the line up for this season's Celebrity Rehab. He said everyone from past shows is back to doing what they were doing before. Howard said he will get the list and he'll talk about that later. He said he never did get to the Comic-Con clips either. He said it's getting late so he'll have to wait to get to that.
Howard said these guys at Comic-Con do seem to have a pattern. He picked a random clip from Wolfie's interviews and said he's sure this guy will be like the other guys. He played the clip and the guy had a speech impediment. He was telling Wolfie what he liked at Comic-Con. Howard and Robin didn't understand what he said. The guy said that he pushes carts at a grocery store. Howard said he has no problem with that. He's okay with someone like that. At least he's not on SSI.
Howard played more of the clip and the guy was talking about how he'd like to have the ability to stop time if he had a super power. Howard said he's sure he wants to finger girls when he stops time.
Howard said if he had the ability to stop time he'd stick an arm up a woman's ass. He said she'd go to the doctor telling him that Super Stern had done it and they'd lock her up.
Howard got the list of Celebrity Rehab stars for this season. He read the list and it includes people like Bai Ling, Shawn Young and Amy Fisher will be on. Howard said he will watch just for Bai Ling. He said that Mary Jo Buttafuoco wrote in and said that she's upset about the Celebrity Rehab thing. Howard said Mary Jo wants to come in and remind everyone what Amy Fisher did and point out she's not a celebrity. Howard said Dwight Gooden is on the show. Steven Adler is back on the show too. Michael Lohan will also be on the show. Jessica from Survivor and Jeremy Jackson from Baywatch will also be on.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He quickly ran down the subjects they had for today's show. That led to Howard talking about how he may start writing that Broadway musical about Anthony Weiner. Howard said he may even be able to get Anthony Weiner to play himself in the musical. Robin asked if his career is over now. Howard said he's pretty sure it is.
After the break, around 9:25am, Robin got back to her news and read a story about a woman who died from a bite from her pet snake. Howard said a snake doesn't offer any comfort. He said he's not sure why you'd want a pet that can overpower you. Robin said this woman apparently had more than one. Howard said he's going to have a pet bee hive. Robin said this woman had an African Black Mamba that may have been the one that killed her. Robin said the woman was 56. Howard said this is crazy stuff. He ended up playing a prank call Sal and Richard made to a pest control service where they pretended to have a swarm of bees in their house. Howard said he just got that ''Norma Stitz'' is ''enormous tits.'' He had never paid attention to that before.
Robin read about a man in New Hampshire who has a fetish of being a baby. He put an ad on Craigslist and said he was the father of a brain dead son who needed a nurse. A woman responded and went to the guy's home and changed the adult's diaper. He was posing as a brain damaged man. Robin said the woman got suspicious when she didn't get a call back so she called the police. They're going to charge him with lude behavior.
Robin read about how some women in Arizona had some trouble with a GPS unit when they got sent down a boat launch and drove into the water because of it. Howard was talking about how bad these GPS units can be and how he's been misled a few times. He said he can't imagine driving into the water though. Robin said the women all got out safely. Howard went into his Ted Kennedy impression and had him blaming his GPS for what happened with Mary Jo Kopechne.
Robin read a story about some people who were arrested for having sex while protesting deforestation.
Robin read about someone who posted something on Facebook about a robbery that they had committed. Robin said you should be careful about what you post on Facebook.
Robin said that John Edwards had a mug shot taken and they've released it and it looks pretty creepy. Robin read the details of that story.
Robin read about Anthony Weiner's ordeal and how his wife has come home. Robin said she hasn't had a sit down with the family yet. Howard said her family must want to string up Anthony Weiner.
Robin read about Ginger Lee's press conference. Robin said there's a new poster out for her tour. She said they list her as the woman who had the peter tweeter on Twitter. Howard had some audio of a woman talking about Weiner tweeting her. They had a woman with a heavy accent out on the street reading some lines for them.
Robin read about Facebook users and how they have a better social being than people who don't use it. Robin said they have more close friends and are more socially behaved. Howard said he wishes he had Facebook when he was a kid. He said that would have been great for him.
Robin said that FOX and CNN are saying that Weiner is telling friends that he will resign soon. Robin said that he must have been waiting for his wife to get home. Howard said he's going to need a new job. He said he could become a Chipendales dancer or something. Howard had Fred play some music that he could dance to. He had Weiner dancing to Anita Ward's ''Ring my Bell.''
Robin read about how Bruce Springsteen has come out and talked about Clarence Clemons and what's going on with him and his stroke. They played a classic clip from the show where Clarence was telling Robin how much he likes her and how he wanted to take her out. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Robin read some news about Charles Rangle. She had some news about Gabrielle Giffords too. Howard said he gets sick over that guy shooting her. He said he feels so bad for her and the people who were killed and wounded that day. Howard said this guy is going to get away with doing it.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if he'd get upset with Beth if she was flirting with someone on Twitter. Howard said he'd kick her right out the door. Howard said if he caught her Sexting she'd be gone. Mark said maybe it would get them into therapy or something. Howard said there is no therapy needed. He'd be done. Howard said he's sure that Sal wants out of his marriage but he's stuck. Howard asked Mark if Beth has been sexting him. Mark said she hasn't. Howard said he knows some guys are desperate. He said Sal was rocked when he found out about his wife and ''143.'' Robin asked Howard if he thinks that Weiner's marriage could become stronger. Howard said he's not sure she's going to hang around for that. Howard said some guys yell at their wives when they do something wrong. He said that maybe he yelled at her to be empathic with him. Howard said maybe he's trying to avoid the discussion all together. Howard said you just have to listen to Sal's song parodies to hear how mad he is. He played Sal's ''Beat My Wife'' song parody.
Robin read about an internet hacker group that's attacking the CIA. Robin said that they got the CIA's web site offline for a short time yesterday. Robin said the hacker group is looking for public input on future targets. Robin wondered why the love attacking government agencies. Howard said they're showing that they can break the security of the biggest security agency in government. Howard said guys who can hack end up getting recruited by the CIA in every movie he's seen.
Robin read about Citigroup getting attacked by hackers. They got names and account numbers but they claim no data that would allow fraud was given out.
Robin read about a guy who will be executed today in Texas. She had audio of a guy talking about what he's going to have for his last meal. Howard said that clip sounded like Jon and Jason arguing about what to have for lunch.
Robin had some audio of Jim Carrey talking about his new movie and how they used real penguins in the movie in some scenes. He said he wanted to join his energy with the animals. Robin had another clip of him talking about working with Angela Lansbury on the movie too.
Robin had some audio of Ryan Reynolds talking about the Green Lantern movie and how it feels like it was ripped right out of the comic books. Howard said he can't wait for that movie. Robin said she's not sure about that. Howard wanted to play a Green Lantern clip but he wasn't able to find it easily on his computer system.
Robin read about a new documentary that's out about the NY Times and the inner workings of the paper. Robin had some audio of the director talking about that. Howard said he'd prefer to just read the paper. He said he doesn't need to watch that movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he heard about Joy Behar with Shannon Tweed and Gene Simmons. Howard said he heard about it and Shannon acts like she's angry with Gene. Howard said he thinks that it's real and he's not sure what self respecting woman would stay with the guy. Howard said he smugly admits he likes to fuck other women. She said that he's just talking and doesn't do it. Howard said she should either move on or Gene should shit or get off the pot. Howard said he should let her free or do something. Robin said he has no reason to do that. Howard said she's an attractive woman and she should go get a real life if she's not happy.
Robin read about Emma Roberts being in a new movie called ''The Art of Getting By'' and had some audio of her talking about that. She was saying she felt that she wanted the movie to be shot in New York. Howard said someone had better explain the business to her and tell her she's not Julia Roberts, she's her niece.
Robin said that Dakota Fanning is in a new film and she had audio of her talking about the cast. Robin said she can really act her butt off. Howard said he didn't want to hear her talking about how much fun she's having. They ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon wanted to talk to Ronnie about all of the gigs he's doing lately. Ronnie said he's doing the Rick's thing alone but he's doing other stuff with Scott and Shuli too.
Gary asked Ronnie how he got the gig with Scott. Ronnie told Gary how Scott had asked him about doing it and that was about it. Gary asked if Scott is asking or is the club asking. Ronnie said he told him DJ Hollywood had asked. He's not sure if Scott is going to want to answer that question.
Jon said he thinks that Scott will come down and talk about it. Ronnie said that DJ Hollywood is the one who does the DJ'ing and Scott stands there and gets people worked up. Gary said Jason told him that Scott hated DJ'ing because he had to actually DJ last time. Gary said Jason seems to think that Scott doesn't like doing the work.
Jon asked Ronnie about Scott asking Ronnie to come down and do the gig with him. Scott came in so Jon asked who asked for Ronnie to come down. Scott said they got a sponsor to come up with a contest so they wanted another person for it. He said that he isn't sure why they wanted Ronnie but he asked if he was available and he was.
Benjy asked if he has to take a pay cut. Scott said he doesn't. Scott and Ronnie will both be paid. Gary said it's too bad Stuttering John isn't still around because he could get his band to play at the gig too.
Jon asked the Scott about looking up that hotel that Ronnie told him about. Scott said he just wanted to see where they'd be staying and he tried looking it up. He said he didn't have his intern looking it up either. He said she looked it up on her own.
Jon asked Scott about what he does at these gigs and what his ideal gig is. Scott said he likes what he does out in Las Vegas and Atlantic City where he hosts for a few hours. He said he helps DJ with DJ Hollywood. Jon asked when he decided to be the front man. Scott said he's just not into the spinning anymore. He said he worked out in Vegas and he was a diva out there. He said he was treated first class out there in Vegas and also with Harrah's in Atlantic City.
Benjy asked Ronnie what he does when someone else is driving him. Ronnie said that he gets very nervous. Gary asked if he gives the driver directions. Ronnie said Ralph used to tell him when he'd be going the wrong way and they would get into major arguments. He said he used to do that to his other drivers and one of the guys almost threw him out of the car. He said Ralph is good now though.
Gary said he was in the car with Ross recently and he went off on the driver for a long time after that one fuck up. Gary said he was doing his pre-interview with the people at Conan and he had to ask them to shut up because he was on the phone.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he can't imagine anyone going to see these two mother fuckers at any event. Scott said that they're able to promote the gigs and that's part of the package. The caller asked how they promote them. Scott said they're promoting them right now.
Gary said that people are very excited to see people like Sal, Richard, JD and others. Jason said no one is excited to see Scott. Gary said people are excited to see them all. Jason said people are more excited about Sal and Richard.
Jon asked Jason about what Gary said earlier about Scott and how he doesn't want to work. Jason said that's not exactly what he said. He said Scott wants to have money and not be the guy in the back being a DJ. Scott said he was a party DJ and he doesn't do club stuff.
Jon asked Jason if Scott is jealous of Ronnie and what he does. Jason said he thanks that's what everyone wants. That led to them talking about what Shuli said about Scott asking to be the co-host. Scott said that was Shuli's idea and he's the trouble maker with all of that.
Jon said he thinks that Scott took a lot of crap after that first gig with Ronnie and he doesn't want to take that again.
Shuli came in and said that he had asked Scott what he wanted to do at the next gig. He said he threw out the co-host idea and Scott said he could do that. He said that pissed Ronnie off. Shuli said he hasn't seen Scott with that kind of energy so he's not sure if it would work.
Gary asked Shuli how long it took him to come up with his act. Shuli said it takes years. Gary said that they need to have a plan for Scott. Shuli said that's where it gets frustrating for him. He said he has to brainstorm to get Scott to do something. Shuli said he has to juggle a lot of things with the show. He said they could call the guy on their own and set things up too but he takes care of all of that. He said he enjoyed doing the last show they did and he wants them to be happy and comfortable. Scott said he won't be happy. Jon had to take a break in the middle of that.
Jon also brought up how Gange was kicked out of line for the armpit sniffing yesterday. Howard had kicked him out and put Benjy in instead. Jon asked why Gange gets under Howard's skin so much. Gary said Howard might still be pissed off about that tape he mentioned today.
Jason said that back at K-Rock they had a story in the news about the Ganges river and Howard just said ''God I hate that name...''
Sal came in so Jon asked about the gig he has coming up out in Hollywood. Sal said they're doing a meet and greet. He said they're not doing a comedy show and they make that very clear on the web site where they sell tickets (CleanBoxEntertainment.com).
Jon asked Sal about his call to Gary where he told him hew as going to be sick. Sal said that he had called in to let Gary know what was going on. He may have over explained it but Gary is his boss and he had to do the right thing. He said that when he got off the phone his wife had heard it and it sounded like he had rehearsed it. Sal said he did that on purpose to let them know the state he was in.
Gary said that people tend to make themselves sound sicker than they actually are when they call in sick. Jon said that Sal also flipped out when Howard called him shady today. Sal said he's not shady and he's not sure why he called him that. Sal said something about it being the same as calling him swarthy. Gary started laughing hard and Sal didn't understand what he had done wrong.
Sal said that he doesn't mind being called an asshole and things like that. He said calling him shady was like calling him a liar. He said he did call in and over explain things and that's not shady. Gary said once Sal didn't call him to let him know what was going on when he called in sick. Sal said he can't foul him for doing something the right way. Gary said they just thought it sounded funny.
Sal said he wasn't being shady and if he hadn't listened to his wife he wouldn't have called in when he did. He said that he would have waited until later to call and it wouldn't have been the same thing.
Sal said that it's the craziest thing that his wife wants him to go to work and doesn't want him to stay home. Sal said that she's got the DVR filled with her crap that she watches all day long. Sal went off on this guy Nate Burkus who she has been watching. He said he asked his wife where he came from and he's like Oprah's guy. Sal said he's not even sure what he is other than a male Martha Stewart.
Sal told the guys that if he had thrown up his wife would have quarantined him upstairs in a room. He said that she locks him in a room and throws a bottle of Gatorade in there for him to drink. they spent a minute talking to Sal about that before they went to break.
Jon moved on to talk about Howard's problem with shaking that guy's hand and how the OCD made him go up and use hand gel. Gary said he doesn't think that the OCD has been conquered. He said that he doesn't understand the OCD thing and it doesn't make any sense to him.
Jason said Howard shakes a lot of people's hands and this one seemed to bother him more than others. He said that it must have been the situation. Jon said he thought that he had conquered all of that.
Gary said that Howard has to shake some people's hands and some people he isn't so sure what to do. He said that he'll sometimes wave to them. If they keep going for the hand shake he'll do it. Jason said that some people are really insistent of the hand shake.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal is a little shady. He said that during the show he said he threw up. Now he's saying he didn't throw up. Gary said he's wondering if he said he threw up in the message. Sal said if he said he threw up then fine. He said he was just nauseous. Gary asked if that's shady to say you threw up if you didn't. Sal said maybe but it was his state of mind at the time if he did say it. They had to end the show a short time later.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 11:30am.