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Howard started off the show talking about a strange dream he had last night about hanging out with Led Zeppelin. He said he was dreaming that Robert Plant kept asking him to go out for a smoke. He said that he sang ''I'm in a Mood for a Melody'' which was weird since that's his solo stuff. Howard said that he also wanted to text everyone like Ross Zapin does.
Howard said that Gary stopped him from texting everyone in the dream. Then the band stopped playing and left and never came back. Howard said it kept getting late and it was just taking forever for them to get to their stuff.
Howard said that Robert Plant looked good in his dream, unlike what he really looks like. Howard said that he found it strange that they were performing Robert Plant's solo stuff. While he was talking about that Fred played the song.
Howard said that Plant kept telling him that he wanted to smoke. He thought that was strange and then he said he started to blow Robert Plant. He was just joking about that part when he said it. Howard said it was actually a good dream.
Howard said that he used to take the train and he was never late. Gary said he did the same thing and the only time they were late was when someone jumped in front of the train.
Howard said he was talking about Michael Penn recently and he got a message from him. Then he was watching this movie and he saw that he did the soundtrack for the movie.
Artie wanted to guess what this movie was about because he did see a 30 second commercial. Artie kind of knew what it was about. It was about a cleaning company that does crime scene clean up. Howard said that it was kind of a chick flick but it was good. He said he gives it a big thumbs up.
Howard said that he watched Punisher 2 and the new James Bond movie ''Quantum of Solace.'' Howard said that he's been watching more movies since he gave up on the chess playing. He said he still plays chess but not as much as he was.
Howard said he also saw some other manly movie. He said he didn't like the Punisher movie. He said it was horrible and he spent $40 on that. Howard said he mailed it to Beth's brother since he thought it was a pretty manly movie.
Howard said the guy playing the Punisher was kind of a douche. He said that the story wasn't that great and they have lame characters in the movie. He said that there was some over acting and the script was pretty bad. He said the movie overall just sucked.
Howard said he did like ''Quantum of Solace.'' He said it wasn't as good as the previous Bond movie. Artie said he didn't know what was going on and there was too much bullshit in the beginning. Howard said he agrees but it's still worth watching.
Artie said there was a smoking hot chick in that movie. Howard said there were two. Artie said that there was one really hot one and one that was hot but not quite as hot. Artie said they find really unique looking chicks for those Bond movies.
Howard said that he hates when they screw up comic book movies. He said that the Punisher was a great comic book and they didn't do a good job with the movie. Howard said that Punisher was kind of like Bat Man but he actually kills people. He said you feel good when he kills people too.
Artie said he used to like the old Superman TV shows when the guys were like 3 feet away and they'd just keep shooting. The bullets would disappear to the side and not ricochet into them. Howard said that he liked when the guys would throw their guns after they emptied them. That led to the guys talking about some of the old episodes of those shows. Howard said he liked when Chuck Connors was playing the part of a guy who thought he was superman. He also liked the Mole Men episode.
Howard talked about the Mole Men episode where they used a vacuum cleaner as a prop for a weapon. Robin said she has to see that one. Howard said that you can get those old shows on DVD. He said he has them and he's going to watch them in a marathon one weekend.
Artie said that when that Superman was in a suit he looked good but then you see him in that suit and he looks fat. Howard said that George Reeves wasn't too happy playing that part and he didn't care much about the way he looked.
Howard said that the costume would bag out at the knees sometimes. Robin said that it was kind of loose and you could almost see him tugging at it at times.
Artie said that the movie Hollywoodland had some stuff about George Reeves' life and it was pretty interesting to see how he was treated.
Howard said that someone just told him that the Superman TV series was on for 6 years, not the 2 years he thought it was. Howard said that whoever told him that wrote ''The Avengers of Superman'' on the screen. Will apologized for that because he doesn't speak nerd.
Gary brought in a synopsis of the Chuck Connors episode of that Superman show. Howard read through that goofy synopsis. He didn't want to read through the whole thing.
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The caller also asked about some stuff that Howard was asking about why Nicole Richie being famous. Howard cut him off saying that maybe he says ''Oy Vey'' because he's an old Jew now. Howard didn't even know what the ''Oy Vey'' meant. Fred and Benjy were trying to figure it out and they eventually found that it meant ''Oh Whoa is Me.''
Gary said that he had Sal's voice mail and he had that pause and cough in it like people make up when they call in sick.
Howard played the clip of Sal saying that he's feeling really crappy. He cleared his throat at one point but didn't cough. Artie said that he never called in the night before. He always waited until the morning of the show to call in.
Gary said the one person who was happy about Sal not coming in was Jon Hein. He was happy that he was going to have a nice, peaceful drive home today. Gary said that Sal hounds Jon on the whole ride home making anti-Semitic jokes and stuff to Jon who is actually Jewish.
The caller said that the sick call was obviously lies. Jon came in and said that Sal is very entertaining on the ride home. He said that it's non-stop stuff with him. He's testing his comedy material and stuff the whole time.
Jon said that Sal doesn't pay him for gas money or anything and he gives the excuse that he's got to drive that way anyway. Jon said that he's only 3 minutes out of his way when he drops Sal off. Jon said it's not every day either, sometimes he'll go home with Brian Phelan.
Howard said that's nice that he gives him that ride home. He said it's probably a great thing for Sal because he doesn't have to be with his wife. He said that's why he thinks that Sal is really sick because he really hates being home with his wife.
Howard said that Sal and Richard have a whole thing going on there and he's got it made there with the set up they have. He said that Sal and Richard sit in there making each other laugh the whole day.
Howard said that he used to go in and talk to Richard in the morning and when Sal would get there he'd walk out just to make it bother Sal.
Richard came in and said that a few years ago Sal was drive nuts when he got to go out to dinner with Beth and Howard and Sal didn't. Richard said that bothered Sal for about a year. Howard said he would even take Richard out to dinner just to bother Sal.
The caller asked Howard if he thinks that Christine is at home making Sal some chicken soup to make sure she gets him out of the house tomorrow. Howard said that she has probably invented a bunch of new antibiotics to make sure that Sal is in shape to go to work every day.
Sal said that Christine is a bad influence on his girlfriend when they hang out at the comedy shows. He said that she's always filling her head with ideas.
Robin reminded everyone that Christine dug Sal out of the driveway when they got a bunch of snow one morning. She wanted him out of the house so bad that she went out and dug his whole car out.
Richard said that they got an air filter for their office and it doesn't smell so bad anymore. Howard said that SIRIUS is almost bankrupt but they bought them an air filter because of how bad it was in there. Richard said that it was an old one, it wasn't something new.
Richard said that they have a new Tradio prank call. Howard said that he likes those calls but sometimes they don't know when something's not funny. Gary said that he hadn't played this one yet. Howard said that he was going to trust Richard's judgment on this but he's not sure if he should. Gary said that he heard the first minute of it and it was good so far.
Howard played the new Tradio call and it started off with some goofy music. The host was a woman this time. Richard said this is the same Tradio show that Ass Napkin Ed called into. Richard ended up talking to the host for a minute and insulted her with some material and then another guy called in and told the host that it was Richard Christy from the Howard Stern Show who just made that call.
Howard played more of the call and the host was asking people to call in with their favorite breakfast meals to try and win something. She goes back to the phone and Sal is on the line this time. Sal said it was a shame about those guys who called in and then said that he loves sausage and started to talk about how he sucks on it when they cut him off. Then Richard called back in and asked Paul how his weekend was. The woman knew it was another prank. Sal called in with a drum set for sale and then said he had a Rusty Trombone and a Cleveland Steamer. They ended the show after that. Howard said that wasn't their best but he did like the calls.
The caller asked Howard if he could name all of the James Bond movies in chronological order. Howard said he could never do that. He doesn't know them that well.
The caller asked Howard to name his favorite Bill Murray movies. Howard said he liked Meatballs, Stripes and Groundhog Day. He said he didn't like him that much in Caddyshack. Artie said that he liked him in that. He also liked him in Rushmore.
Howard said that if they cut out the Bill Murray part in Caddyshack, it would make the movie even better. Artie and the caller didn't agree with him on that. Howard said he found that kind of boring and didn't know why they threw that into the movie. It didn't make any sense to him. The caller said that Howard was being silly. Howard said he needs someone to explain that to him.
The caller asked why Howard gives M. Knight Shyamalan such a bad rap. Howard said that he's inconsistent with his movies. He said that he had some great stuff in the beginning but then he had some shitty stuff and now maybe he's going to put out more good stuff. Howard said that he did like the guy when he came on the show.
The caller was asking to get on the speed dial list that some of the other guys like Ass Napkin Ed are on. Howard ended up cutting him off saying that he had way too many things to talk about.
Another caller asked Howard what he thinks about Tim Allen having another kid at the age of 55. Howard said he didn't know about that but he thinks he's crazy if that's true. Howard said that he was probably close to having fun and now he's going to ruin it with another kid.
The caller asked who he would rather see in the next James Bond movie, Angelina Jolie or the chick from Slumdog Millionaire. Howard said that he wasn't that into the chick from that Slumdog Millionaire. He said that he's kind of sick of Jolie too. He said that he guesses that if he had to choose just one then he'd pick the chick from Slumdog.
Robin said that Tim Allen's wife isn't that young. She read that the woman is 42 and she's having her first baby with Tim. Howard said that it might be time for Tim to get another younger wife. He said that he might be going down that Charlie Sheen road.
Howard said that he saw Madonna's daughter in the paper and she's looking good at the age of 12. Howard said that her mother is dressing her like an 18 year old though. He said that she'll probably end up rolling around on a stage like her mother some day.
Howard said he feels bad about Vice President Biden's kid. He said that they have a video of her doing some coke from years ago. Howard said that he tells his kids not to trust anyone and to never go into rooms with guys who could tape them like that.
Howard said that everyone parties and this poor kid had someone set her up like that. Howard said that it's not that big of a deal to do that kind of stuff.
Howard said that Robin is in the paper this morning too. Robin said that she thinks that she knows what he's talking about. Howard said it was in the Daily News. The article was about Robin's weight loss and the guys that have been hitting on her lately. They talked about Kurt Angle hitting on her last week. Howard said he thinks that Dr. Roni's people put that out in the paper. Robin said that's the case and she knew that they were going to do that.
Robin said that they're doing the show on Howard 101 tonight with Dr. Roni and Tim Sabean. That's at 7pm on Howard 101. Gary said that the plug was there on his desk. Howard said the show is called ''Detox with Robin Quivers.''
Howard said that Robin is really giving this Dr. Roni some publicity. Robin said that she has a wonderful program and she wants people to know about it.
Howard said he was talking to Beth about going out to dinner with Robin. They went to a Vegan restaurant and Robin asked if they had salt in the food and when she found out they did, she said she couldn't eat it because she doesn't like salt. Robin said that she can taste it and she doesn't like it. She said that she does not like salt.
Howard said that you don't even taste salt when it's in food like that. Robin said that she can taste it. She said that she won't eat chips, popcorn or anything salty like that. Howard said that she's full of it because she used to eat food that had salt in it all the time when they'd go out to eat. Howard said she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Robin said that Mayor Bloomberg is going to be going after restaurants that use too much salt in their food. Howard said he doesn't think they should use so much but Robin is carried away with this.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he read in GQ that he's been walking around wearing leggings when he's out running. Howard said that he's not wearing anything like that. He didn't know what the guy was talking about. Howard said he wears sweat pants, not leggings. He said he wouldn't wear leggings if they paid him a million bucks. Howard said he didn't read that.
Robin said that there have been people confusing Howard with Howard K. stern and thinking that he was the same guy who killed Anna Nicole Smith. Howard said that maybe that's who they were confusing him with in GQ.
The caller asked Howard if he knew where the closest copier was to the studio. Howard said they have one back in the office somewhere but he doesn't need to use it. The caller also asked how many stalls they have in the bathroom that he doesn't use there. Howard said he doesn't know because he doesn't use it. He said that he wouldn't know the answer to these questions because he doesn't do any of the stuff that he's asking about.
Artie said that there are a lot of bad questions this morning from the phone callers. Howard said that was weird. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that he was going over his notes about Ozzy and Sharon. He said it's been a long time since they were in the studio with them. Robin said it had been a couple of years at least.
Howard said he heard that Tim was done with his detox. Robin said he lost 26 pounds. Howard said he heard that Robin got mad at Gary when he asked Tim what his first solid meal was going to be. Gary said that he gave him some double speak about that and then he asked him to just tell him what he wanted to eat and Robin got mad at him.
Howard said that Robin shouldn't get mad at Gary for something like that. Robin said that he didn't see the conversation so he's assuming that Gary wasn't harassing Tim. Howard said that asking Tim what he wanted to eat isn't harassment. Robin said that no one has to bother the guy about what he's going to eat.
Howard said that Gary has been doing this Gadget Gary thing on the local channel 11 news. Howard said that it might be Gary's attempt to branch out and do other things. Howard said he's actually good at it.
Howard said that Gary was busy with Ozzy and Sharon so he can't talk about that right now. Howard got back to Tim and Robin. Robin said that she was just asking Gary what the big deal was about what Tim is going to be eating. She said that she got angry at him for asking about that. Howard said that no one is angry at Tim over this whole thing.
Gary came in and said that this is crazy. He said that the whole group there didn't think that Tim would make it past one day, never mind 21 days. Tim said that he's lost about 30 pounds now. Gary said he wouldn't be able to do that himself.
Gary said that Tim is going to have a solid meal today and they were curious about what he was going to have. Robin asked why they have to know that. Gary said that they're curious. Gary said it's like the whole world is crazy except with Tim, Robin and Dr. Roni.
Tim said that he has no clue what he's going to eat today. He hasn't really thought about it. Tim said he may have some salad or something like that. He's really not craving anything and he's not going to have a burger or anything like that. He said he's really not into that.
Howard said he finds that odd that he's not thinking about what he's going to eat. Tim said that they have given him some guidelines. He said he has much more control over food than he used to.
Robin said that she doesn't ask Howard what he's going to eat every day. She told everyone to leave Tim alone and not worry about what he's going to put in his stomach.
Tim said that Gary was shocked that he didn't know what he was going to eat. Gary said that's because he went into this whole double speak thing about it all and he just wanted to know what he was going to eat.
Tim said that the food isn't one of his priorities. He said that he does know what he can and can't eat but he's not sure what he will be eating today.
Howard asked Tim what it is that he's going to eat today. Tim said that he's probably going to have a salad. He said that he has control over food but food used to have control over him. Tim said he wants to lose another 50 pounds. Howard told Tim to go back to work.
Gary said that he is controlled by food and he doesn't get why that's so insane. Howard said that he heard that Tim is going to start another 21 day detox this Friday. Tim said that's true. He said that he feels good now and he enjoys feeling that way.
Tim said that this is the only thing that he has ever tried that has worked for him so that's why he's doing this. Tim and Robin will be hosting a show together tonight on Howard 101 about this.
Tim said that he got a lot of feedback and people want to know about this whole diet (21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha's Vineyard Diet Detox). He said that he was eating inconsistently in the past and now he's carrying around the diet in his pocket and eating every 2 hours.
Artie said that Tim looks great but he seems like he's in a daze. He wasn't joking around even though Tim was laughing at that comment.
Howard took a call from Steak from Del Fresco's. It was Richard calling in and telling Tim that he misses him. Howard let him go after that.
Howard asked what's going on with Sharon and Ozzy. He said that he's treated them right every time they've been on the show. Howard said that he had them on before they did Jay Leno or any of these other shows. Howard said he's never misused them and Gary has to remind Sharon about that.
Howard said that he thinks that he was one of the first people to have Sharon on the air and found out that she was very interesting. Howard said that they can sign the release and nothing bad will happen.
Howard said that if they asked him not to air something, he would do it for them. He said that he loves Sharon and Ozzy and would do that for them no problem.
Howard said that they call Gary by his full name with Baba Booey and Gadget Gary thrown in there too. He said that he'd prefer that they call him Techno Beaver. Gary said he kind of likes that name. Howard said that he would be great on there as the Techno Beaver.
Howard said that Gary is very good doing that gadget thing and he doesn't fumfer around and say ''uh'' all the time.
Robin said there's a new phone out called a Virtue and it gives you a whole service with a real person to help you do things. Howard said he wouldn't want something like that. Robin said that the phone is like $6,000 too. Howard said he doesn't want that.
Howard said that Gary looks very heavy on TV. Gary said that's because he is heavy. He said that he's up around 223, 224 pounds or so.
Howard asked Artie how much he's at these days. Artie said that he was at 278 when he got out of that Hippocrates place. He said that he's probably up around 285 right now.
Howard had Gary go over and weigh himself. Gary came in at 225. Artie went over and hopped on the scale and came in at 297. Howard said that Artie has put on a few pounds. Artie said that he's been eating a lot lately. Robin said that he has been loading in a lot of stuff lately. Howard said he can get distracted by all of that eating too.
Robin went off on Gary again for giving Tim Sabean a hard time about his eating. Gary said that he was just asking Tim how things were going and it's not that big of a deal. Robin said that she has never asked Gary what he's going to eat. Gary said that if he went on a 21 day diet then Robin might ask him what he wanted to eat. Robin said that she wouldn't bother anyone about anything like that.
Howard said that Robin would too ask them if they were losing weight. Howard said that she's gone way over the line and she's very possessive with Tim now. Robin said that Gary has said that Tim drank the Kool Aid and that bothered her. Gary said that Tim had to do that to go into the whole diet thing.
Howard said that he was going to take a break and see what happens with Ozzy and Sharon. He said that he'll bring in Lisa G to do her thing and see if Ozzy and Sharon are going to be on or not.
Howard said that Ozzy was looking dapper this morning. Sharon was looking glamorous. He said that she looked great. Howard said that Ozzy looked good for 60. Ozzy said that he's pickled, that's why he looks so good. Howard said that maybe all of the drugs were good for him.
Howard said that Sharon is looking good and he heard that she had her band removed from her stomach. Sharon said that she did have it removed. Ozzy said that dieting doesn't work forever and you eventually go back to eating. Ozzy said that he always does that and he ends up eating.
Howard said that Ozzy has discipline when it comes to his look so that's why he has to keep in shape. Robin sounded shocked when Howard said that Ozzy had control over anything in his life.
Howard said that Ozzy loved Sharon when she was fat and that's amazing to him. He said that he could have dumped her around that time but he didn't. Ozzy said that's because she can throw stuff and run faster than him.
Howard said he always thought that Sharon was good on the air and he thought she had a good personality. He said that he knew that before others did.
Howard said that Ozzy and Sharon have this new show called Osbourne's Reloaded starting this Tuesday. Sharon said that they were told that they wanted them on network TV and they were going to give them their own show doing whatever they wanted to.
Howard said it sounds like a lot of work to do this new show. Howard said that Ozzy looks like he's working his ass off now. He said it was one thing with the reality show and he wondered what they need all of this for. Sharon said that they thought it was going to be easy but Ozzy came to her and said it was like a job.
Ozzy said that he's getting up at 5 in the morning now and he had it made before this show. Howard asked Sharon if she pushed Ozzy into this. Sharon said she didn't do that. She said that they came to them with X amount of money and they were told they could do anything they wanted to. Sharon said they list it as a variety show but it's really not. She said that it's edgier than a Carol Burnett show would be. She said that they have shot six shows and that's the whole season.
Howard said that they have a great lead in with American Idol. Howard said that he read that American Idol is going to be leading them in but they're going to let the show run 20 minutes late instead of starting it early. Sharon said that they have to run the show late because of the language and nudity.
Howard asked Sharon if she's going to be topless on the show. Sharon said that she's not going to be topless, it's the audience. She told him to stop with that, it's too early in the morning for that.
Howard said that FOX has been pushing the show a lot lately. He said that they have to be happy about that. Ozzy said that his music is still the number one thing in his life and he doesn't care if they don't pick this show up. He said that he won't even watch it. Ozzy said that he really doesn't give a damn. Robin said that's why Ozzy was so great on that reality show. He would just run off and disappear sometimes because he didn't care.
Howard said that Ozzy is going to be miserable if the show does get picked up. Sharon said that the thing is that they work with the kids in the show and they're not sure they want to continue that.
Howard asked Sharon about her spending and how she really just keeps Ozzy working so she can keep spending. Sharon said that he goes through this with her every time. She said that's not what it's like and they are saving money and spending it on the right things. She said that hey spend it on property and stuff like that.
Howard found out that Ozzy is giving it to Sharon about 5 times a week still. Howard said that's amazing to him. He said that he could probably do that with Sharon if he had her. He said that he would give it to her orally, anally and any way she would give it to him. Sharon said that she would give him a brick to the back of the head.
Howard asked Sharon if she seems to be a violent person. Sharon said that she didn't know what he was talking about and why he was acting this way today. Howard said that 5 times a week is ''wow.'' They've been married for 27 years now.
Howard asked how Kelly is doing. He said he heard that she was in rehab. Ozzy said that it's become a family tradition to go to rehab. Ozzy said that the drug addiction is rampant now. He said that it's not even that big of a deal to people these days. Sharon and Ozzy were talking about how much they love Celebrity Rehab and how they're addicted to that.
Howard asked if Kelly is really engaged to some guy. Ozzy said that they told her to just stay engaged and not get married. Sharon said that the guy is a male model. Howard said that Ozzy has to put his foot down on that one. He told him to tell Kelly that she'll be cut off if she marries that guy.
Sharon said that the kids haven't taken any money from them since they were about 15 or 16. Howard asked how they're making money. Sharon said that they do work so they make their own money.
Howard said he's not happy with this at all. He told them to bring Kelly in there so he can talk to her. Howard said he wants to talk to her about dating this male model. Sharon said that Howard has gotten more Jewish since the last time she was there. Howard said that he has and someone pointed that out earlier about his ''Oy Vey'' comments.
Howard said that Sharon is an angry woman because she once shit in a box and mailed it to someone. Sharon said that a reviewer said some bad stuff about Ozzy and he didn't even see the show. She said that it wasn't her excrement either, it was Jack's.
Sharon said that she doesn't hold grudges, she just gets something off her chest and moves on. She said that she would have lunch with that reviewer if she ran into him today. She said that Jack was a baby at the time and that's where she got his shit to mail to the guy.
Howard read that Sharon's father had a mistress and she had purchased her father a stone monkey so Sharon shit on the monkey. Howard asked if that scares Ozzy. Ozzy laughed and said that it doesn't scare him. Ozzy said that he really doesn't give a damn. Robin said that Sharon will fight for Ozzy right to the end.
Howard asked Sharon about the incident she had on the Charm School show. Sharon said that the woman claims that she's been traumatized since then and they have video of her going out and drinking so she can't be that traumatized. Ozzy said he used to drink when he was traumatized.
Howard asked Sharon how she shit on this monkey. Sharon said that she pulled her knickers down and squatted on the monkey. She was 22 years old at the time. She said that her accountant was watching her and threw up as she did that.
Sharon said that her father used to carry around this woman's knickers in his briefcase and she ended up taking them and put them on the monkey too.
Sharon talked about her brother and how helpful they used to be with him. Then he turned on them and sold a bunch of stories about her. She said that he was angry with her for burying her father in a Jewish grave yard.
Howard said that Sharon's brother claims that she told him that she thought that Simon Cowell was gay. Sharon said that he was trying to ruin every working relationship she had. Howard said that she can't catch a break. Howard said that he and his sister have a good relationship and he can't imagine a brother saying something like that.
Howard said that Jay Leno did something to Ozzy and Sharon too. Sharon said that Ozzy had this album coming out and they went to the Jimmy Kimmel show. They did three nights on the show and Ozzy was allowed to do as many performances as he wanted to. She said that it was more Ozzy's audience on that show than the Tonight Show.
Howard said that's because Jay appeals to old bags. Sharon said that Leno called her and said that he wanted them on his show. Sharon said that he claimed that he had more viewers but Sharon said that it didn't matter, it was the type of audience that mattered.
Sharon said that they did Jimmy's show and then they started to do promo for America's Got Talent and Jay refused to have her on. She said that Jay came out with a statement about how they never joked about the Osbourne kids on his show.
Howard said that he has been exposing this phony baloney Jay Leno for years. He said that he's a no talent nothing and they shouldn't to do his show. Howard said that this creep Jay Leno hid in a closet in a meeting and stole the Tonight Show away from David Letterman. Ozzy said that Leno may just get a box of shit next week. He said he's getting that asshole vibe.
Howard asked Sharon and Ozzy if Courtney Love was on their shit list too. Sharon said that Courtney would sniff the box of shit if they mailed her a box. Howard said that he doesn't want to be on that shit list because he doesn't want a box of shit showing up at his place.
Howard said that he heard that Ozzy backed out of doing American Idol when they asked him to perform with Sanjaya. Sharon said she never even told Ozzy about that offer. Ozzy said that she has him doing 9,000 other things every day and he never did hear about that.
Sharon said that she can't tell Ozzy about every offer that comes in. She asked Ozzy what he thought about Sanjaya. Ozzy said ''Who the hell is that?'' Sharon said that's why she doesn't tell him about this stuff.
Howard said that Ozzy wants to make decisions on stuff. Sharon said that he doesn't want to know about Sanjaya. Ozzy said that he wouldn't mind doing a couple of contestants on that show.
Howard asked if it was true that they offered Ozzy the next James Bond and Sharon turned that down. Ozzy said ''Celebrity Rehab here I come...''
Howard told Ozzy and Sharon that he's going to be introducing Ringo on Saturday night at the big concert that he and Paul McCartney are going to be doing. Ozzy said she met Paul for the first time right there on Howard's show. Howard said that Paul was on again just recently.
Howard said that Paul's ex got $65 million. He said he warned Paul about getting married before he did it and now he's lost $65 million.
Howard said that he's going to have to watch this Osbourne's Reloaded show on Tuesday night. Robin said she still has no idea what the show is about. Sharon said that's why she'll have to watch it.
Howard said he gets the feeling that Ozzy didn't want to do this variety show thing. He said he wants him to be honest about it. Sharon said that Ozzy doesn't have to do these shows and he knows that. Howard said that Ozzy doesn't want to let Sharon down and that's why he's doing it. Ozzy said that he actually is working more now than he was when he was 25.
Howard told Ozzy to let Sharon know how he really feels. Ozzy turned to her and told her he loves her. Howard asked when they last had sex. Sharon said that Ozzy was trying to do it last night but she just wanted to sleep. Sharon said that he had a big stiffie and she just wanted to sleep because it was 2 in the morning.
Howard asked Sharon if she's fully shaved. She said ''Oh nooo.'' Ozzy asked Howard how things are going with him and his wife. Howard said that they had sex 3 times this weekend.
Howard asked Sharon how big her bush is. She said that she can't stand to have a bald landing strip. She said that she just trims it. Howard said he likes it bald down there. He asked her why she needs the big bush down there. She said that she doesn't want to itch down there.
Howard asked Sharon if she got implants. She said that she did but she doesn't like them anymore. Ozzy heard that and said ''Fuckin' 'ell'' when he heard that. Howard asked Ozzy if he has to rub Sharon a lot to get her off. Ozzy laughed and said ''oh yeah.''
Howard said that he hopes this new show fails so Ozzy doesn't have to keep doing it. Ozzy said that he hasn't given up his real job and he's still out there entertaining people.
Ozzy asked Howard what he thinks about this President Obama. Howard said he's thinking that he'll do good but people are expecting too much out of him too quick. He said that things are going to take a while and people just won't give him time.
Howard brought up the Chris Brown and Rihanna thing. He said he thought that Sharon had said something about them. Sharon said that she predicted they'd get back together and she was right about that. She said that they don't know the real details of what went on. Howard said that he knows that Rihanna was beaten up and that's all he needs to know. Sharon said that maybe she started the fight and hit him first. Howard said that doesn't matter, she's a woman and smaller than Chris Brown.
Sharon said that she and Ozzy used to fight. She said that she would throw stuff at Ozzy. Ozzy said that he once got a bottle of Cognac and he thought that it smelled like shit. Ozzy said that she had shit in it. Sharon said she didn't shit in it, she had just rubbed it in certain areas of her body.
Howard asked Ozzy if he would hit her back when she would hit him. Ozzy said that he would. Sharon said that she ended up looking like Rihanna at least once. Howard asked if they were saying that Chris Brown and Rihanna might end up being a great couple. Sharon said that they should just stay out of it, it's none of their business.
Howard asked Sharon what she would do if someone beat up Kelly. Sharon said she would go and beat the shit out of the guy. Ozzy said that she would do that after he went and beat the shit out of him. Sharon said that is what she would do as a mother and it's up to Rihanna's parents to do what they think is right.
Robin said she didn't know that Ozzy and Sharon had gone through all of this violence. Howard said that they're still having sex 5 times a week. Sharon said that Ozzy is huge and he has at least 10 inches down there. Ozzy said that if he had 10 inches he wouldn't even fit in there. Sharon said that he's 10 if he fucks her twice.
Howard said that he hopes that the new show works out and maybe they don't have to do more. He said that they should just do the 6 shows and not do anymore, even if it's a hit.
Sharon asked Howard when he's going to retire. Howard said he's done as soon as this current contract is up. He said that's about 2 years. Robin said it's less than that. Howard said that he's going to retire and move out to L.A. near Sharon and Ozzy.
Howard said he'd actually like to move into their house. Howard said that he has a 16 year old daughter but they share custody with her. Howard said that the other two kids are out of the house so he doesn't have to worry about them.
Howard told Ozzy and Sharon that they're the greatest. He said that he hopes that everything works out and they get what they want with that show they did. Sharon said that she hopes it gets good ratings but that they never have to do it again. Howard gave them some plugs for the new show and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that it was great to see Ozzy and Sharon. He said he really likes those two. Robin said that Ozzy looked really good. Howard said that they found out that the drugs that Ozzy was on is what was causing the tremors that he had.
Howard saw that Robin's hair kept going into her mouth. Robin said that it wasn't going into her mouth. Then she wiped it from the side of her face because it was going into her mouth. Howard said that he thinks that she's trying to eat it because she's so hungry.
Howard said that they go way back with Sharon and Ozzy. Robin said that she remembers seeing them with their babies. Artie said that Ozzy has a legendary solo career and with the band. Howard said that Ozzy was great and Sharon is looking very good to him.
Howard said that Sharon transformed because she used to be kind of over weight and now she's transformed into a beauty. Howard said that she removed that band from her stomach and it's a struggle for her now. He said he was going to tell her about Robin's thing but it would have turned into a whole thing.
Howard gave Robin a plug for the show she's doing with Tim and Dr. Roni tonight. Howard said that they'll be talking about that Detox Diet. Robin said that she'd like anyone who tried that diet to call in. She said that she will be herself on the show and she won't get all serious. Howard said he has the feeling that she will get too serious. Howard said that he had better listen to that show so he can get clips for tomorrow.
Robin said that Benjy is a horrible liar. She said that it's obvious that he's lying about it. Howard said that Benjy finally had something to talk about and now he's fucked that up.
Howard read some e-mail about Benjy and there were some who were sick of hearing about his dating. There were a couple who enjoyed it but then there were others who didn't think that Benjy should be comparing his looks to Artie's.
Howard said he thinks that some people got jealous of Benjy's stories and they were blown away by them. Robin said that she's not sure if she believes those stories. Howard said he's spoken to some guys who think that there's no way that the chicks are as hot as he thinks they are.
Fred said that there are some freaky people out there and you never know. Benjy said that when he was doing that stuff, years ago, there were some hot chicks and some of them were ugly. Howard said he saw one picture of a woman he dated. He said that she was kind of hot.
Benjy said that he does have some pictures that he can share but they're from a while ago. Howard thanked him but then said that Benjy finally had something he was interested in and now he has to drop it.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the Ozzy interview was awesome but he'd like to know if they can get Ozzy in there on his own. Howard said that they have had him on alone but he likes the two of them in there together.
Artie said that Ozzy was by himself in 2001 the day he met McCartney. Gary said that he was there by himself back in 2006 too.
The caller also said that he liked that Howard freed up that Hey Now thing because it's on fire and people everywhere are using it.
Howard said it was Gary's birthday a couple of weeks ago and Sour Shoes left him a message. He was spewing out a lot of facts about Gary and Gary wasn't even sure how he got them correct. Howard played that call where Sour Shoes had all of this history about him. It was really detailed like Sour Shoes had done a ton of research.
Howard said that he had a home theater built at his house and half the time he goes in there something doesn't work. He said that he paid way more money than Gary did for his home theater and he's really pissed about it not working. Howard said that his TV will just blank out for no reason.
Howard said that he figures that Gary's system works all the time. Gary said that it really does. He said that the whole family knows how to use it and it works all the time. Gary said he has one guy who did that for him and he just kept it simple to make sure it would all work.
Howard wondered how Imus was doing with the prostate cancer. He said he was reading about the treatments for that and how it all works. They have special radiation treatments that apparently work. He said that Rudy Giuliani had that and was cured.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked for some tipping advice. The guy said that he was wondering about what to tip for a guy who just fills your glass with orange juice at a buffet. Howard said that he knows what that's like. He said that you don't know how to tip when it comes to something like that. Howard said that those guys do clear the tables and fill your drinks and stuff. He said that you still have to tip them something. Howard said that maybe at least 15 percent. Artie said he tips whatever he usually tips.
The caller asked if you tip the omelet chick. Howard said you don't have to tip the chef. He said if that starts happening he's going to stop going to restaurants.
The caller asked about maid tipping. Howard said that he hands that money to them personally. He said that he feels really bad for them. He said that he always tries to put it in their hands instead of leaving it in his room for them to find. He said that he will go to the concierge and ask them who to give it to.
Howard said that he'll leave a couple of hundred if he stays somewhere for like a week. Howard said that maybe 20 bucks a day if you stay at a regular hotel or something. Howard said that might be high. Gary said that they suggest 10 bucks a day.
The caller asked about tipping someone who opens a door for you. Howard said that you tip them if they get you a car or something. Howard said that he'll go down and open the door for that guy and ask him if he has any money for him. Then he said that he will tip a few bucks if someone helps him out with his bags or something.
Howard said he hates going on vacation because he ends up tipping so much. Gary said he was on a web site reading about what you're supposed to tip and it suggested $1-$5 a day in a hotel.
Gary said that he drove into the city to do the Gadget Gary thing and a car picked him up. He wasn't sure what kind of tip he should give the guy. Howard said that he was the wrong guy to ask because he tips way too much. Gary said that he figured a $20 each way would be good and he didn't want to give him nothing. Gary said he knows that they probably build in a tip but he wasn't sure how much.
The caller asked Howard if he had ever heard the guy Dallas Green and told him to listen to the band ''City in Colour'' because it's really good but intense. Howard said he doesn't want to get into anything new. He said that he's become such an old codger now. He said that the music was so much better back when he was younger.
The caller said that Alanis Morissette got fat. Gary said that she got fat but then got thin again. He said that she looks great. Gary said he was just reading about her in some magazine and she did lose the weight again.
Robin said she saw that Natalie Maines cut off all of her hair. She said that it's almost a buzz cut. Howard asked if she's trying to chase her husband away or something. Howard said that she has such a beautiful face and nice hair. He said that people like to cut off what they have the best of. He said that's why he keeps his hair. That's the best thing he's got going and cutting it off would be the worst.
Robin said that there are Deejays out there who are doing these mashup songs and they have whole concerts now. Howard said that those guys are assholes. Howard said he would never go to one of those.
Howard saw Natalie with her hair cut off and thought she looked kind of odd. Fred said she looks like Will. Artie said she looks a little like Bridget Fonda. Howard said he likes feminine long hair, not that short stuff.
Gary said he had some audio to play. He said that they have a news story from Oklahoma and they spend a lot of time wishing people happy birthday. Howard said he heard about that. Howard said they spend a really long time on those announcements. Howard said that someone sent in some funny names and they actually spell them out on the screen.
Howard played the clip from KTVO in Missouri. He said you should be able to find it on the internet. In the clip they read some goofy names like ''Gabe Asher'' ''Dixie Normous'' and some stuff like that. JD said there was also ''Lou Bricant.'' Howard played some more and they had ''Craven Morehead,'' ''Ineda Lay,'' ''Mike Hunt'' and many others. There was also Mike and Julia Hock and ''Emma Roids'' and ''Hugh Erechin'' among others.
Howard said that they really go on a long time with those names. He said that it's like they're naming the whole town in those clips.
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Howard came back and had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that he has another Captain Janks update. They have a half dozen more bar owners saying that Janks has ripped them off. Janks hasn't been showing up to any appearances that he's promised to make. Steve said they have 30 different clubs claiming they've been stiffed by Janks.
Howard wondered what Janks does at those appearances. Gary said that he does trivia, plays some of his prank calls and does stuff like that.
Steve said that they have some updates about Gary possibly being the Prince of all Media with all of the stuff he has going on with magazines, TV shows and radio. Howard didn't know what some of the stuff was that Steve brought up.
Artie said that he lost his bet to Richard Roeper. Howard said that Richard has been gambling so he can write a book about gambling being bad for you but he's been winning all the time. Artie said that would be like the guy doing the Super Size Me movie getting healthier.
Steve got in a plug for the show that Robin and Tim Sabean will be doing tonight on Howard 101 at 7. Howard said it would be great if Tim just died on the air tonight. Fred played some audio clips of what that might sound like.
Howard asked Robin if they have a theme song for the show. Robin said she's not sure about that. She said there is a producer for the show but she didn't check into that. Howard said that a theme song is very important. Robin said she knows that because she listens to the theme song for this show every morning.
Howard played one of Sal's song parodies about Robin for her theme song. Robin said if they changed some of it she would use it. Howard played a couple of others that she could try. Robin said that there's always just one line in those songs that she can't use.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran through his list of subjects they were going to be discussing today. They spent a little time talking about Ozzy and Sharon during that preview. Howard said he finds it amazing that they're still doing it 5 times a week. Howard said that sometimes Beth will turn him down when she's not freshly showered. Howard said he would do it even if he was smelly. He said that he's really been stinky after working out lately too.
Jon also brought up the ''Techno Beaver'' name that Howard came up with for Gary. The guys spent a short time talking about that and how great the name was. Howard said that he would have to watch if Gary was dressed up as Techno Beaver. Howard said he thinks that Gary must be getting manicures because his fingers are so well manicured. Gary said he hasn't had a manicure since his wedding day so that's just not true.
Howard said he was watching Gary on that channel 11 show and he was talking about what he might do when he leaves radio. Howard said that he got all sad because he was thinking about how he can't leave Gary hanging there. Gary said that he should leave when he wants and he doesn't want him to worry about him. Howard said that he's doomed and he has to worry about Gary the rest of his life. Gary said he really doesn't. Howard said that Gary is a terrific producer and he wants people out there to know that. Howard said that he has to worry about Will and Jason too. Gary said that maybe they'll all go to the Robin Quivers Show when Howard leaves.
Artie said that Will and Jason could do some stuff on TV. Howard said that anyone out there who will hire Gary, he'll throw in Jason for free. Howard said that he's not sure what he's going to do with all of these guys.
Gary said that Will is very good at producing segments and he could do that job on any TV show. Howard said that most of those guys are comedy writers though. Robin and Artie were telling Howard that they're not all that way and Will could get a job. Howard said they were making him feel better.
Howard told Gary that he's giving his notice now and if he can't find a job by the time his contract is up, he'll stay on. Howard said that he might be able to give him 2 or 3 weeks notice before they're out of there. Howard said that he's not sure how much time he can really give him.
Howard said that he has every intension of leaving but if Mel comes in and tells him that he can have this great schedule and he stays, then what are the guys going to do if they've found a new job. Gary said that Howard could end up just doing his own thing on the internet or something. Gary said he'd be interested in that. Howard asked him to send him a resume.
Howard and Gary talked about the Techno Beaver thing again and Gary said that the name was kind of growing on him. Howard said that he really should go on dressed in a beaver outfit. Gary said he's not sure that would work. Howard said it would be amazing. Howard said that Gary could probably get on NBC if he was the Techno Beaver. Gary said that the TV stations have all been getting hot chicks to do that stuff. He said that they don't want some old fat guy like him. Howard said that's why he has to do the Techno Beaver thing. Howard said that everyone would want him if he did that.
Fred told Gary to trademark that because there's a U.K. company that uses that name. Howard had all kinds of ideas for Gary to do his Techno Beaver thing. They were coming up with lyrics for a theme song and stuff like that.
Gary said that Scott DePace just told him that someone went out and bought the domain name TechnoBeaver.com this morning. Howard said that DePace probably did it.
Robin talked about how rough it was trying to get home from Florida this weekend. She said that everyone on the plane was saying that it was a horrible airline and it should be a great airline when they call themselves ''American.'' Robin said she got to the airport at 10 in the morning and didn't get home until 11pm. Howard asked what the delay was. Robin said that there were weather problems there in the New York area so they sat on the runway until 3pm and then they took them off, then back on at 4 and then the plane broke. She said that it was like 6 o'clock at night and they didn't know if they were going to be leaving or not.
Robin said that they got them back at 7pm and they had no food on the plane. Robin said that the crew were great and they had been on a four day flying run and they almost lost the crew because of the timing.
Richard said that he flew in this weekend and it was foggy out and thought that they had turbulence when they were actually landing. Howard thanked him for that but said that he wanted to move along. Then Benjy said that he watched an airplane land yesterday. they were goofing on Richard for coming in and talking about his ''weird landing'' story. Artie said he's a fuckin' moron.
Robin read a story about Jenna Jameson being out partying at a gay club just days after giving birth to twins.
Robin had a story about Giselle Bundchen saying something about being like a mom to Tom Brady's kid. Howard said that he thinks that the paper was just trying to fuck up Brady's life with the way they wrote that article.
Robin read a story about a priest who is working as an assistant principal at a school even though he was accused of molesting a kid.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard about his parents getting older and possibly passing away soon. Howard said that he thinks of them as his best friends these days. He said he likes hanging out with them and he's not looking forward to them dying. He said that he's not sure how he's going to handle it when they do pass.
Robin read a story about the video of Ashley Biden doing coke that has been revealed. That led to Howard taking about how bad he felt for her. He said that it's just not right to do that just to embarrass someone like that.
Artie said that he was out at Crumbs Bakery on Saturday and about 2,000 people showed up. He said that there were people getting their books signed and stuff. He said that a lot of them were friends of his and they had their kids with them and all he could think was how the kids are going to turn out to be degenerates like his friends.
Robin read a story about a guy who killed his sisters. Robin read about the way he did it and talked about how angry that seemed to be. She said that Sharon Osbourne didn't seem so angry after reading that story.
Robin read a story about a guy who tried to claim he was insane by saying that he thought he was a character from the Lord of the Rings movies.
Robin read a story about a teen who had laced her Rice Krispie treats with poison to try and kill her mother. It didn't work and she's been arrested.
Robin read a story about a woman who cut out a baby from a woman and tried claiming it was her own. Howard said that they should cut off that woman's feet and make her eat them. He said that's some crazy stuff. Robin said that they're not looking for the death penalty for that woman. Robin said that they should throw her into a mental institution at least. Artie said that he'd make her fly from Miami to New York on American Airlines... or date her.
Howard came up with a bunch of stuff that he'd like to do to that woman to punish her. He was talking about pouring concrete in her ass and stuff like that. He said they should be put in charge of punishments.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was watching Leno last week and saw Prince doing his performances. He said there was an incident where Prince gave someone in the crowd his guitar and then they went and took it back from the guy. Robin said that she read it was Prince who wanted the guitar back, not the Leno people. the caller thought that it was Leno's people who wanted it back.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Robin what food she was going to eat on that American Airlines flight since she doesn't eat anything. Robin said that she was the only one with food on that flight, it was the other people on the flight who had nothing to eat.
Robin read some news about the North Korean missile launch that's happening this week. Robin also had some news about President Obama possibly sending more troops to Afghanistan.
Robin had some news and audio about Rick Wagoner being asked to step down as the head of GM. Robin also had some news about a shooting that went on at a nursing home in Georgia. She had some audio of people talking about the guy who did the shooting.
Robin had some news about Madonna wanting to adopt another child. The people in Malawi don't want to give up another child to. Robin said that maybe she could give them some money instead of taking a child. Howard said that she wants to raise another kid and why not let her do that?
Robin read a story about the Mets new stadium getting broken in with a game but the Mets weren't playing. Robin read some other sports news about Tiger Woods winning over the weekend.
Robin said that she heard that people like this season of Celebrity Apprentice. She said that Denis Rodman got fired from the show last night. She had some audio of that firing. Robin said that he was fired when team mates told Trump about Denis' drinking habits during one of the challenges.
Robin read that the movie Monsters vs. Aliens was the number one movie at the box office this weekend. Howard said he read that it had awful reviews. They played a clip and Howard said that it sounded awful. He said he really has to make a cartoon. Robin said that Seth Rogen was in that movie and also in ''Observe and Report.'' She had some audio of him talking about the new movie. Howard said it seems like he's the only actor available in Hollywood right now.
Robin read about the new Fast and Furious movie. Howard said there's no reason for that movie to come back. He said he doesn't care about guys racing against each other in cars. Robin had some audio of Michele Rodriguez talking about how this was the only ''real'' sequel to the first one.
Robin had some audio of Jimmy Fallon talking about his new show and how great his audience is. Jimmy said that he's very proud of what the show has accomplished so far.
Robin had some audio of Kiefer Sutherland talking about acting. The guys goofed on him a little bit about that.
Robin also talked about Bruce Willis and his new wife making their wedding official when they returned to Los Angeles. The guys spent a short time talking about that and talking about the weird relationship between Bruce, Demi and Ashton Kutcher. They had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:45am.
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Gary said that Robin and Howard were talking to both Ozzy and Sharon during the break and Ozzy seemed very lucid today. Gary said that he seems to be drug free and happy about that.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that they're really still having sex 5 days a week. Gary said he finds that hard to believe with any married couple.
Jon brought up the discussion they had with Sharon and Ozzy about Kelly dating this male model. Gary said that they give their kids a lot of latitude and they seem to do just fine with that.
Jon and Gary also talked about Sharon sending the boxes of shit to people. Gary was wondering if Sharon fishes the shit out of the toilet or just how she does it. Jon said that it was more about Sharon being confrontational and not so much about how she mails the shit.
Jon and Gary talked about Sharon not telling Ozzy about all of the deals they're offered. Gary said he's not sure if Ozzy would really want to know about all of that stuff or not. He gets the feeling that he may not.
Jon had Teddy play a clip from the interview where Sharon was talking about what a piece of shit Jay Leno was. After that clip Jon said that Howard did figure out how great Sharon was on the show very early on when they started to do the show. Gary said that he loves Sharon as a guest on the show and she's very interesting.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about him getting kicked out of the studio last week when he was going to talk about The Sopranos final episode. Jon said he disagreed with Howard on the ending and thought that it was a cop out. He said that's all he wanted to say but he didn't get a chance to.
Gary asked Jon if he thought it was memorable or not. Jon said that there was no closure in the series and that's what he was looking for. Jon said that he would rather have seen Tony take a bullet in the head or something like that. He didn't like that ending.
The caller had asked Gary what happened to Jesse Jayne today. Gary said that she got held up down in Philly or something and didn't call them or anything this morning. They found out that she canceled when they found that she had Twittered that she missed her flight.
Jon took another call from a guy who said there was nothing like going from Ozzy to the Sopranos. The guy said that he heard Ozzy saying that his family was ''fuckin' dead'' at one point and he thought it was great. Gary said that he has a lot of great lines but they're hard to understand sometimes. The caller said that you have to read in between the lines with stuff like that.
Jon said that when you think of Ozzy you think of him as Black Sabbath and the solo stuff. A lot of people only know him from their reality show. Gary said that's how his son knows of Ozzy.
Another caller asked about the release form they have there and what that's for. Gary said it's for everything, the radio show and the TV stuff. The caller asked if there was a problem with one of the guests they had on recently who wrote the Sybian because he hadn't seen it yet. Gary said that everyone who comes in that studio has to sign one. He said that the whole thing this morning was just a mix up and Sharon and Ozzy told the publicist that Howard is the only one they just sign the release for and don't worry about it.
The guys also talked about the home theater problems that Howard has had. Gary said that he's been trying to suggest to Howard to use a certain type of remote but he can't use it because it won't integrate with his home theater system.
Another caller said that he's not sure how the Osbourne's show is going to translate to the rest of the country. He thought that it would probably fail based on some other variety shows that have failed. Jon said that Sharon said that it wasn't really a variety show and that's just the way they're shopping it around.
Gary said that he's fascinated by it and you never know what it's going to be like until you see it. Gary wondered what the Leno show was going to be like when that comes out this summer. Jon said that he's heard that it may be variety show like in the beginning but it will eventually become the Leno Tonight Show in prime time.
Another caller said he likes the ''Techno Beaver'' name for Gadget Gary. The guy was also plugging Gary's upcoming pitch at the Mets game. He was wondering if Gary was going to be able to throw a ball or a strike. Jon said he thinks he'll reach the plate but it will be a ball. Benjy said it would be a ball too. The caller also said that he thinks it would be a ball. Teddy predicted a strike and that the Mets would lose.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks about this Techno Beaver name. Gary said that even if you don't listen to the show, the name is still catchy. He said that he doesn't think the suit is necessary though. Jon said that the suit might be necessary. Gary said that he'll look into it. Jon said that Techno Beaver is much catchier than Gadget Gary.
Gary said that he was amused by the fake cough that he threw in at the end of the call. The caller said that he thought the call was fake and he thinks that he just wanted the day off so this was his way of going about it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he loves the Wrap Up Show. He also said that it's enough of Sharon Osbourne and he'd like them to just go away. He said that poor Ozzy has to put up with that. The caller wondered why he does. Gary said that Ozzy clearly loves her and she protects Ozzy like no one's business.
Benjy said that it's a feel good segment when they're on because they seem like such a team. Gary said he feels the same way.
The caller said that he has someone in his neighborhood that has the same last name as Gary. Gary said that's probably his brother since the guy was calling in from Austin.
Jon took a call from a guy who found it amusing that the guy had a sighting of a Gary look-alike in the woods. Gary said it wasn't in the woods.
The caller asked Gary if he knew anything about Ozzy and if he could name any Ozzy albums. Gary knew a few albums. Gary said he's not a big fan of metal but he thinks that Ozzy transcends that whole thing.
Gary asked the guy if he thinks that the lead singer of Bad Company singing for Queen is still Queen. The caller said that both of those bands suck to him so he doesn't like either one. He really didn't care about that.
Gary asked what the biggest band was that they've had on that was kind of metal. They threw out Megadeath, Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie and some others.
Richard Christy came in so Jon asked him who he thinks is the biggest metal band that has ever come in. Richard said that it was probably Type O Negative or Megadeath.
Richard said that he thinks that they should have Iron Maiden on the show but he understands why Howard doesn't have them on. Gary said that they think that not enough of the audience knows those bands.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he went and saw Sal and Richard this weekend. He said that they were great but he can see why Sal would be sick because of all of the drinking they were doing. He said that he was freaked out up there with the crowd. He said that he was afraid that he would run into someone who was going to jump out of the room. The guy said that they asked if there were any Jews in the room and his friend stopped him from raising his hand right before the crowed booed.
Gary said that it sounds like Richard and Sal are very busy working now. Richard said that they are working a lot of shows now. Gary said that maybe they're getting sick from working too much. Richard said he knew that Sal was getting sick yesterday but they're trying to get something going while they can.
Richard said that they're trying to get their names out there and they want to keep their stand-up going when Howard retires.
That led to the guys talking about Howard's discussion about possibly retiring. Gary said that he feels bad that Howard thinks that he's incapable of getting a job. He said that kind of bums him out. Benjy said that Howard might like that role of being the guy who has to take care of them the way he does.
The guys were talking about how they really have to look for jobs a good amount of time before the contract is up and Howard may not make a decision until the last minute.
Another caller asked if they've ever thought of having Judas Priest on the show. Gary said that he would rather talk to Rob Halford alone. He said that Rob is gay and it has to be weird when most of the fans are homophobic. Gary said that they went out on tour without Rob and he heard that he wasn't so happy about that so he'd like to talk to him about that. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that Robin had walked by and heard him and Tim talking. Gary said that Tim was giving him the ''cult talk'' and that's what may have set Robin off. He said that's probably what got under her skin so much.
Jon had a clip from the segment where Robin was questioning Gary about why he would ask Tim about what he was going to eat. Robin claimed that she was normal and it wasn't that crazy for her to ask about that.
Richard said he thought about calling Tim over the weekend to go out eating with him and his girlfriend. Then he thought that it might be a bad idea. He said that first thing this morning he asked Tim what he was going to eat though. He didn't think that what Gary did was that crazy.
Jon said that keeping the weight off is going to be the hard part. Benjy said that losing the weight is tough and staying on a fast or something is really hard.
Gary said that Robin says that people are obsessed with food and he wondered if that was a knock on him or was she saying that it was out of line to be interested in what someone is going to eat after not eating solid food for 21 days. Jon said he didn't think it was out of line to ask Tim that question.
Benjy thinks that Robin thinks that they're against their diet and they want them to fail or something. Gary said that he's very much for it working for Robin and he's all behind her on that.
Richard said that Dan the Song Parody Man did a detox diet a couple of years ago. He said that Dan said that he just wanted to have a steak after he went on that diet.
Jon said that Tim used to be that guy who was all worked up in the morning and Artie felt like he was in daze since he went on this diet. Robin was saying that she thought that this energy that he has now is a more natural energy. Richard said he liked going out to the bars with Tim in the past because it was such a blast.
Gary said that they're all wondering if Tim is going to be back up to his weight again. He said that they'll all be asking Tim why he tortured himself like that for 21 days if he does gain it back.
Richard said he's going to miss Tim because he used to be so fun at the bars. Gary said that Tim might not be gone forever. Benjy said that Tim could still have fun funneling that green drink of his at the bars.
A caller asked the guys if they thought that maybe Robin is obsessed with food too. He said that she was heavy for a long time and now she needs all of this help to stay away from it. The guy said that someone needs to tell her that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he thinks that Robin is just trying to develop a philosophy of eating to live instead of living to eat. The caller said that he just broke away from an addiction he had to diet Pepsi. Jon congratulated him on that.
Tim Sabean came in and jokingly said that he was out handing out pamphlets on the street. Gary asked him if he thinks that they're trying to break him on this diet. Tim said no to that. Tim said that he was tired of being fat and he had to do something and this is the way he chose to do it. Tim said that he focused on doing this diet for the first three weeks and now he has to keep it up.
Tim said that it was a great challenge for him to be able to do it after so many said he wouldn't make it past a day. Tim said that he was totally satisfied with the diet and it's very easy for him.
Gary asked Tim if this has changed any friendships. Tim said that it hasn't changed his personality either. He told Richard he's ready to go out to a bar with him and got all pumped up over it.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about what they think about Robin yelling at Gary. The guy said that Robin is the one who has had a personality change in all of this. The caller said that Tim didn't eat for 21 days and it's human nature to ask what he's going to eat.
Gary said that he thinks that Robin went to Tim to do a good thing and she wasn't trying to get him involved in this weird thing. He said that it would make her look bad if Tim actually failed though.
Tim said that he's going to be going to the gym starting today. He said that he tried going before but it was tough when he was on the detox thing. Tim said that he realized just how bad he felt just days prior to the diet.
Gary said that Tim starts sounding like an infomercial when he's talking about this stuff. Tim said that he just got tired of being a fat fuck and he had to do something. Tim said that he had to do something and he went to Robin to get on this diet. Tim went on and on about the diet and how quickly the pounds dropped off.
Jon had Ronnie the Limo Driver on the phone and he congratulated him on throwing all of his friends away. Ronnie said that he has kind of been glazed over for the past few weeks. He said that he seems to be done with them all now. Ronnie said that he and Richard were talking about him this morning. Richard said he understands why he doesn't want to go out drinking and stuff but they have so much fun with him when they do.
Ronnie said that Tim is a different guy and he doesn't want to hang out with his friends anymore. Gary asked Tim if he thinks that he has changed. Tim said that he just has more control over what he eats. Jon asked Tim if he eats salt. Tim said he was never really a salt eater. No one believed that. Gary and Ronnie both called him out on that.
Another caller said that he thinks that Robin is bothered by some things more than others but she'll play it off most of the time. With this thing she can't let it go. Gary said he wasn't doing it to hurt Robin. He said he doesn't believe in this diet and he's probably a nay sayer but everyone needs that.
Another guy called in and said that Gary really has to go on a diet because he's repulsive to look at. He told Gary to go on the same diet. Gary said that he can't not eat for 21 days. Tim said that everyone has to find their own way. He said that you have to try things in your life and it may or may not work for different people. Tim said he was lucky that it just happened to work for him.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Gary should have ripped Robin a new ass this morning. He asked Tim if he's losing body fat or where it's coming from. Tim said that he's on his last hole on his belt so it is going away. He said he feels better and he's lighter too. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show asking Robin about being tired this morning after doing her show last night. Robin said she wasn't tired but she wasn't any fun either. She said that she has no problem coming in and doing the show.
Gary let Howard know that Artie is going to be 10 minutes late this morning. Howard asked if he's ''dancin'' or something. Gary said he didn't take the call, an intern did.
Howard said that they have Flo Rida coming in today. He played his song and then played the rest of the top 5 songs from bands like the All American Rejects, Justin Timberlake, Soldier Boi, Lady Gaga and Flo Rida. Howard said the last time Flo Rida was in he and his guys made it rain money in the studio while a stripper danced. Howard said that Flo is apparently getting laid a lot from the article he read.
Howard said that his mother and father used to sleep head to toe so his mother didn't have to hear the snoring from his dad. Howard said that they have rules about sleeping together though. Howard said that the meditation thing is what helped her out with that. He said that's why he's going to the concert this weekend.
Howard said that he thinks that this new snoring tape gets really funny about a minute in. He played the clip of his snoring and he's not even sure how the sound comes out of him. Howard said he couldn't make that sound for Robin if he wanted to.
Howard said that the snoring is so bad that he even wakes himself up sometimes. Howard played more of the tape and asked Robin if she could sleep through that. Robin said that she's a pretty heavy sleeper. Howard let the clip play and said that it gets worse and worse. He said Beth told him that it changes. Howard asked what that sound was and said that it sounds like a monster. He said he never snored in the past and all of a sudden it's like this.
Howard said that they took out a couple of pauses in that clip but for the most part, that was him. He said that Beth got up and left because of the snoring. He said she was up until about midnight because of it. Howard said he couldn't sleep through that with another person. He said he feels really bad about it.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him about this medical mask that he could wear at night. Howard said he's not going to be sleeping with that. He already has this teeth protector thing that he wears and Beth already makes fun of him about that. Howard said he gets angry at her for making fun of that. He said he can't imagine strapping on a mask as well.
Another caller said that he has the same problem. He said that his wife started sleeping at the end of the bed and now she sleeps on the couch. The caller said he smokes and then sleeps really hard from 8 or 9 until 1 in the morning. He said it's really hard to have your wife in another room.
Howard said that it freaks him out when Beth leaves the room and she's not there when he wakes up. Howard said that everyone is out of his room by morning. The dog goes out and snores for Beth too.
Another caller said that he loved Ozzy and Sharon on the show yesterday. Howard said they are a lot of fun and that's why their reality show was so great. Howard said he thought that they were kind of going to become huge stars and say that they can't talk about stuff but they haven't gone there.
The caller asked if Howard was going to play some clips from Robin's show last night. Howard said that he will. He said he started to listen to some of them earlier and he has a bunch of stuff to play. He said that he's glad that Robin has something that she's so passionate about. He said it's good that she's staying busy.
Artie said that he was listening to Howard's snoring on his way into work this morning and he really thinks he has to get checked out. Artie said that even he's not on that level. Artie said he snores and doesn't get that bad. He told him to go to a doctor.
Howard said that he was talking to Scott the Engineer who went to the doctor about that and he was told he had a huge uvula. Howard said he doesn't want to know anything like that.
Gary said that everyone in the office swear by the nasal strips because they open you up at night. Howard said that he doesn't want to wear any masks but he might try the nasal strips. Gary said that Scott DePace found a mouth piece that protects your teeth and stops your snoring. Howard said that he has that mouth piece for his teeth and he's eventually going to have to lose some of the teeth because of the way they're lined up.
Gary said that he can imagine Beth getting into bed and waiting for Howard to put in his mouth piece and nasal strip. Howard said that Beth is so beautiful too. He said he was looking at pictures from his wedding and found a great one of her. He showed that to everyone in the studio because he carries it with him.
Howard said that he's a mess. He has the snoring and then he has hair coming out of the middle of his cock. Howard said he feels really bad when Beth comes to him with this tape. Artie asked him if he feels rested in the morning. Howard said he feels terrific. Howard said that he gets upset when someone wakes him because rest is so priceless to him.
Howard said that the vampire falls for a regular girl in the movie and Beth wasn't interested in the movie until that part. Howard said that it wasn't a real vampire movie but he kind of liked it. He said he knows that Robin won't like it though.
Howard said he's been buying these Blu-Ray movies and they're really expensive. He said he ends up giving them away to people. Howard said that he doesn't even know if the people he's giving that stuff to have a Blu-Ray player.
Robin asked if there are portable Blu-Ray players. Howard said that according to Techno Beaver they are going to be releasing one soon. Gary said that Panasonic has one coming out soon but he wasn't able to keep the one that he had on the channel 11 News thing that he did last week.
Howard said that he has been playing with a Blackberry phone lately and he's waiting for the demo of the Palm Pre that's going to be coming out soon. Howard said that he's getting a separate demo in his apartment. He said that they're going to show it to him but not let him buy one yet. He said they told him that it's just a prototype and they can't sell one to him.
Howard said that they're going to whisk it away from him after the demo. Howard said that they're going to have it under lock and key so he can't hold on to it. Howard said that if people don't buy this thing then he can't imagine Palm staying in business.
Robin said that lately people have been holding up their phones at concerts. Howard said that he wouldn't be able to hold his phone up because it's so old. He'd be embarrassed to do that.
Howard said they're going to have this thing at Radio City. He hates getting up in front of people because it really bums him out. Robin said that he's good on stage though. Howard said he really doesn't like seeing people.
Artie told Howard that he could mask the audience with lighting if they set it up right. Howard said that Prince does that. He said that Prince is an asshole though.
Howard said that this Palm Pre had better be coming out soon because if he has to wait 6 months for it, he's not going to do it. Howard said that his friend told him that he went out and bought stock in that company because of what he was saying about the phone.
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Robin read that the Pre is rumored to be released on April 30th. The caller said that another phone that's okay is an HTC phone but it runs Windows. Howard said he's not going that route. The caller said that the Palm OS is supposed to be much faster on the internet.
Howard said he went home yesterday and studied phones. He said he's obsessed with phones right now. Howard said that he was trying to learn how to use the Blackberry. Robin said she didn't even know that she could get her e-mail on her phone. Howard said that he and Robin are going to have to learn some stuff together.
Another caller asked Robin why she gives people such an attitude when she feels she's right about something and ends up arguing. Howard said that's what a lot of the e-mail was about yesterday. He ended up reading through some of that mail. He said that people were calling her a mental case and things like that.
Howard played a clip of Robin talking to Dr. Roni about how much she owes to her for helping her lose the weight. Robin said that she was always falling down and injuring herself because of her weight. Robin said that Howard once helped her up when she fell in the garage one time. Howard said he remembers that he had to roll her into the studio one time.
In the clip Robin was talking about how she was only doing the show and sleeping for a number of years. Then Robin said that she thought she was going to have to leave the show because she didn't have the energy to do it anymore. Robin was basically saying that she was thinking of quitting the show. Robin said that she found this program and she started to feel better.
Howard said he heard that Robin gave Dr. Roni an hour long infomercial last night. Howard said that's what he's hearing.
Artie asked Robin about her weight loss with the other diet she was on. Robin said that was a temporary fix and she wasn't sure how to keep the weight off. Then she gained it back and then got onto this new diet with Dr. Roni. Now she's able to maintain her weight loss.
Howard told Robin that he'd like her to thank him profoundly like she was doing with Dr. Roni. Robin said that she's done that before.
Howard read some more mail about Robin and the way she's so mothering of Tim. There were a bunch of people saying that she's nuts. Robin said that she was just trying to help Tim get through this thing that she had to go through all by herself.
Robin said that she used to be in so much pain in the past that she had to rub stuff on her joints and stuff because of the pain she was in. She doesn't have to do that anymore.
Artie asked Robin if she had a condition. Robin said that no doctor knew what was wrong with her and they were injecting her with stuff all the time and nothing helped.
Benjy said that when that woman comes back to the city then he'll go out with her. He said that he still talks to her and likes her a lot.
Howard read some feedback about the Ozzy and Sharon interview. There was also an e-mail about his insane tipping. The guy gave him some tips on tipping at buffets and for tipping at hotels and stuff like that. Robin said that it was taking too much thought for some of that stuff.
Howard read more about Robin's show that was on last night. There were some who liked it but others who thought it was just an infomercial. Some thought it was very cult-like too.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Robin didn't let Tim get on microphone last night at all. She said that it shows that Robin is out of her mind. Mariann said that Robin was doing a commercial and it was just the flavor of the month for her. Robin said that she's been doing this for two years now, it's not the flavor of the month. Mariann said that it was the craziest show ever and it's going to blow Howard's mind when he hears it.
Howard said that Madonna must have been moved by the conditions over there and she ended up adopting a kid. He said that the kid was laying in an orphanage in awful conditions. Then the father finds out that his kid was adopted and he wants it back. Howard said that for some reason they're focused on Madonna and not on these other people like Angelina Jolie who adopt kids like this.
Howard said that Madonna took the kid home and things are working out just fine. She went back over to adopt another kid and she found a little girl whose mother is dead. The father is alive but no one knows how to get in touch with him. Then the grandmother pops up and asks what's up with this Madonna. The kid was in an orphanage at 3 years old and then the family is worried about her all of a sudden. Howard said that maybe they're looking for some kind of hand out or something.
Howard said that this Andrea Pyser in the NY Post is talking about this story and making it seem like it's an awful thing that Madonna is looking to adopt this kid. He read through some of that article and said he'd really like to talk to this Andrea and ask her what the problem is.
Robin was arguing on the Gradnmother's side saying that she might be visiting the kid every day, they don't know. Howard said that the kid is in an orphanage, the kid has to be in a nightmare. Howard said that poor kid could have had a great life with Madonna and now they're not going to let her take the kid.
Howard said that they're saying that Madonna is ignoring the kids in the United States but they don't point out that it would probably take 17 years for her to get approved to adopt here.
Howard said that if Andrea Pyser adopted some kids then maybe he'd feel differently. Howard said that anyone who wants to adopt from an orphanage should be patted on the back. Howard said that he'd like to be Madonna's kid. He said he'd like to be 5 years old and have her as a mom.
A caller said that Howard is really shot out of a cannon this morning. He said he can't imagine what's going to happen at the shrink today. Howard said he was at the shrink yesterday and the guy still won't let him go. Artie said that his first appointment with his new shrink is tomorrow. Howard told him to stick with it and it will work.
Howard said that Obama is right on about the war in Afghanistan. He said they're saying that they have to get back to the original purpose and get the troops to Afghanistan. Howard said he likes to hear that stuff and he's diggin' Obama.
Howard said he heard that Oprah has another sex scandal in this school she has over in Africa. Robin said that she's thinking about going over there. Howard said that she's not going to make it if she goes over there. Fred told her about someone who went to a foreign country and ended up with a flesh eating virus. Robin said that she'll be fine.
Howard was about to read the article about Oprah's school sex scandal when Robin said that she would be going over there to speak at the school. She said that now she's thinking that maybe she should stay away if they have this stuff going on all the time over there.
Howard read the article about 7 students being expelled for sex related things. Howard said he hopes they caught that stuff on film. Howard told her to go over there and find out what's going on. He said he might need to know more about that. He had to go to break after that.
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Howard came back and asked what song that was. Fred told him that it was a Pearl Jam song and it was number one on the modern rock charts but it was actually an unreleased track from back when their album Ten came out and it's just being released now.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he and Beth had ever had sex in his limo. Howard said he and Beth haven't but he has had sex in his limo. Robin said she thought that they had done something in the limo. Howard said that she doesn't go for that now.
Howard said he thinks that he has had sex in the limo once or twice. He hasn't had any in the current limo, it was an older one.
Howard asked Robin if she's going to that concert on Saturday night. Robin said that she will be going. Howard said he'll see her there then.
Howard said that Tim Sabean has lost a lot of weight but there are some people saying that he looks better fat. Howard said that there are some who think that he's kind of out of it since he went on this diet. Robin said that his key might be on a lower register. She said that's what she's noticed.
Howard said that Scott Ferrall walked by Tim in the hall and Tim didn't say hello to him. That led to Ferrall going off on Tim. Howard played the audio of Ferrall talking about his ''alleged boss'' and how he was down the hall doing that enema show with Robin. Ferrall said that he was told about the show and then he saw Tim out in the hall about 30 feet away from him and the guy didn't stop in and say hi to him. He said that the guy hasn't seen him in a month and a half and the guy didn't say hi to him.
Ferrall said that he just wanted people to know the way he's treated up there. Ferrall said that there are like 7 million bosses there and only 4 people who work there. He was also saying that he's perfect and better looking than the rest of those fat people there.
Robin said that Tim didn't just walk by Ferrall, he just didn't go into his studio. Howard said that this was Tim's big moment there. Robin said that she should have gone and said hello to him too because she's never there at that time of night.
Howard said that Robin and Tim are busy not eating so they don't have time to think about anything else. Howard said that rant was kind of funny. He told the fans to check out that show every night.
Tim came in and said that he was sorry he didn't stop there last night. He said that getting out of that place turns into a really long process. Howard said that he knows that, he has to put his head down and walk past people to get out of there every day. Tim said that he'll have to talk to Ferrall tonight so he knows he cares about him.
Howard played the audio of Margaret talking to Greg on his show last night. In the clip Greg asked her how many sexual encounters she had. Margaret counted them starting on Thursday. She gave the details of which guys they were and counted them all up. She said that she was actually fluffing on the set of a porn movie. Margaret also said she was with a guy in her band. Then she rattled off the rest of the guys that she was with and counted them all up. She eventually came up with 17.
Greg talked to Margaret about the many people she was with and how she handled all of that. Margaret was saying that she has many holes to fill so she can have more than one person working on her at the same time. Greg asked if she was orally pleasuring someone too. She said she was but not as much because she had a head cold.
Howard said that it sounds like she might be having too much sex. He said he never had that impression of her and had no idea she was into that kind of stuff. Howard said he might have to interview her. He said he thinks that he had her on the show one time. Gary said that they did have her on but she wasn't talking about it in as much detail.
Howard said that some people just live it up. He said he's way too conventional to do that stuff. Artie said that she had her own show back in 1995 or so and that didn't last.
Howard said that Tim never asked him how he got thin. No one asked Will either. Robin said that Will just got cancer.
Lisa said they have some news about Barbara Walters talking to Donald Trump on her SIRIUS show. Howard had some audio of that to play. Trump was talking to her about working with her for a long time. They talked about how they became friends again at Howard Stern's wedding.
Howard said that he brought some people back together. He said that Barbara didn't stick around at his wedding so she must have made up with Trump and then left.
Lisa said that Artie is going into business with one of the interns there who writes rap songs. He's going to use one of his songs in his act. Artie said he needs original music to play for the new DVD he's working on. He said that he's going to play it when he goes on stage and he may come and perform it live at some of the shows.
Gary told Howard he had the song on his computer if he wanted it. Howard played the song and the song was all about Artie. Howard said he could imagine Artie coming out to that song all heroined up. Artie said that the song was supposed to be original. Howard said it was very Flo Rida-ish.
Artie said that they're going to put the song on his DVD so he can get some credit for it. Artie said he did a great job and the kid is a great kid. Howard told the intern, John, to come in and take a bow. Lisa said that Artie is going to pay him $1,000 per show that he performs at. Howard asked him how long it took him to write the song. John said it took about 2 hours. He said that it takes like an hour to record it and then his friend mixes it for him and that takes a couple of days.
John said that he comes to work from Boston for a couple of days a week. John said that he stays at his friend's house while he's in the city and then goes back home to Boston for the rest of the week. John told Howard about how he was on academic probation for a while at the school he goes to. Howard spent a few minutes talking to him about that.
Howard asked John what kind of classes he was taking at this college he was going to. John said that he tried taking anthropology but it turned out to be really hard. Howard wrapped up with him and said it's great that he's working there and coming down from Boston.
Howard let John go and had Lisa finish up. She said she spoke to David Hinckley about Howard's OCD and about Howard's power in the radio industry.
Howard said he had to take a break after that. He said that Flo Rida was going to be coming in after that. Artie said that he worked with Cloris Leachman once and he heard that she had taken her tits out and laid them on a table for the people there. Artie said that was back in 2000 or so and she looked pretty good for her age then. Howard said that she's 84 now so she was in her 70s back then. They had to go to break after that.
Howard said that Flo was there with 4 Mill. Gary came in and said he tried to get the guys to follow him in there but there were so many people out there that they were held up. Artie didn't meet Flo Rida the last time he was on so he didn't recognize him in there.
Howard said that they still find money from the last time they were on the show throwing bills around. Howard said they found some in the vents and under stuff.
Howard asked Flo Rida about his music and how a lot of it is about the ladies. Flo Rida said that he has to write about what he knows.
Howard asked Flo Rida about being voted best looking in high school. Flo Rida said that he did get that and he was able to make the ladies feel comfortable in school. He said that he dressed well back then and had respect for the women too. He said he has seven sisters so he knows how to treat women.
Howard asked Flo Rida when he got his first hand job. He said he was probably in his early teens. Howard said he was voted most invisible in high school. No one noticed him at all.
Howard asked Flo Rida about working out and how much time he spends doing that. He said he spends like 2 hours in the gym when he goes. Flo said that he runs for about 15 minutes on the treadmill too. Howard said that he runs around for like 4-5 miles and he still has a belly on him. He doesn't even have a 2 pack down there.
Flo told Howard to set the treadmill at like 6.0 and then do it maxed out in the last couple of minutes. Howard said that he must be doing everything wrong. Howard said he only bench lifts 95 pounds. Howard asked Flo if he can whip a brother's ass. He said that he could but he doesn't have to.
Howard asked Flo about doing the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday. Flo said that was crazy. He said that he goes out into the crowd and had a lot of fun doing that. He said that they made it rain on her show too. Flo said they did a couple of songs on her show.
Howard told Flo that he should have brought some ladies on the show with him because Ellen would have loved that. Flo said that he didn't bring any with him.
Howard asked Flo about his song that uses the Dead or Alive song ''Right Round'' and if he has to pay them for the use of that song. Flo said that he does get some money from that. Howard asked if that guy talks to him at all. Flo said he doesn't hear from him at all. Howard said the guy should talk to him because he revived that song.
Howard asked Flo when they got in. Flo said that they just flew in this morning about 45 minutes ago. They've been taking a private jet lately. Howard asked if they're getting any bitches. He wanted to know if 4 Mill got any. 4 Mill said that they can get the women all over the place.
Howard asked Flo and 4 Mill if Flo is the boss in the group. Flo said that they're a team. Howard asked if they're getting 50 percent each but 4 Mill just said that he's very well off.
Howard found out that 4 Mill was married with kids. Flo said that he's still married to the projects too. Howard asked 4 Mill what he's going to do with a wife and kids at home. 4 Mill said that he's not actually married, he just has the kids.
Howard asked the guys where they hook up. Flo said that they find them all over the place. Flo said that he likes to keep it to the regular girls with the extraordinary bottom. Howard asked if they get into threesomes and stuff. Flo said that it depends on the way it presents itself.
4 Mill said that they rejected like 20 women last night. Flo said they didn't reject them, it just wasn't the right time. Howard asked if they were fugly. The guys said that they do need women that have a certain look.
Howard asked Flo about how hard it is to sell albums. Flo said that people are trying to cheat their way up to the top. He said that the true fans want to see the cover of the albums and stuff like that.
Howard asked Flo about the hit songs and how many downloads they get. Flo said that his last hit had 8 million downloads. This new song is up to 3 million already. Howard said the real money is in ring tones though. Howard said that they get to keep all of the money from the ring tones unlike the music downloads.
Howard said that Flo Rida had a job in a Las Vegas casino looking for silverware before he became a star. Flo said that he was getting $3 an hour doing that back then. He said he was working at the MGM Grand doing that and it was great when he booked a gig there with his face all over the plasma screens there.
Howard asked why he had to look for silverware like that. Flo said they have to save all of that stuff so they don't have to spend any money. He said that he'd be lucky if he found like 100 forks in a night. Flo said they had like 4 people working on an assembly line looking for that stuff.
Howard asked if they ever found any weird shit in the trash. He said that sometimes they'd find chips worth like $20,000 in the garbage.
Howard asked Flo what kind of cars he has. He read that he has 5 cars. Flo didn't even know what he had. 4 Mill told him about the 67 Corvette, the McLaren F1... and then they got sidetracked. Flo said that he gets chauffeured around these days.
Howard said that Flo was going to perform a song for them today. He brought in some girls to dance while they sing too. Howard said that they were ''real women'' and very feminine. They both work at strip clubs. Howard asked how they met Flo and 4. The girls said that they knew someone who knew them. Howard asked if they had sex with them. The girls said no.
One of the girls was Ebony and Flo had her turn around to show her big ass. Howard said that she would break his penis if he did her. He said that she had real tits too. The other stripper was Yasmine. Howard asked if she had a big ass too. She said she had a little somethin' somethin' back there. Howard said she did when she turned around and showed him.
Howard asked the girls what they were going to be doing today. Flo told Howard that they didn't choreograph this so they're just bringing him into their world. The guys said that they're going to make it snow today and they'll be throwing money around again. They had a shopping bag full of money. Howard said that the girls must love this.
Howard had the guys get set up so they could perform. Howard and Artie got some of the money to throw around. Flo said they needed more money throwers. Howard had Benjy get ready to do that. The girls were having some problems with their headphones squealing so Howard tried to get that fixed. The girls didn't have them on their heads right.
Howard said they were having some money problems so they had to have everyone grab some. Artie was throwing the money like a baseball. Howard told him that he had to make it snow in there. Flo and 4 Mill started to perform the song ''Right Round'' while the guys were tossing the money around in there.
Howard said that they must have had $10,000 thrown around in there. The girls were doing a lesbian show and Benjy had his pants off. Benjy said he was trying to make it rain in there. Howard said he has to get to the black strip clubs after this. Flo said that he needs to get him out tonight to some strip clubs.
Howard thanked the guys for performing their number one song live for them. He said that this is the second time they've done that. Howard gave them some plugs for their album ''R.o.o.t.s (Route Of Overcoming The Struggle)'' and said that he was going to play the latest single, ''Sugar,'' on the way out to the break.
Flo told Howard about going over to Africa to be on the MTV awards over there. He talked about some of the women over there and how he got in touch with his African roots over there. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal pulled on a telemarketer who called. Fred also played John Lennon's ''Mother'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that he was busy preparing for Cloris Leachman to come in. Artie said he saved some money to make it rain for her. Artie said he kept finding more money in his pockets and he felt guilty about it so he went out and shook his pants for the girls.
John Boy called in and said that he was disturbed by Scott DePace hitting his dog and he wondered if Beth had heard about it. Howard said that Beth really likes Scott and he was going to tell her about that but he held back. He said he didn't want to break her heart about that. Artie said he can't wait to tell her then. Howard said that he won't tell her.
Scott said that he doesn't beat the dog, he just swats the dog on the ass. John Boy asked Howard what he would do if he caught Scott beating on Bianca. Howard said he wouldn't do that. Scott said he really wouldn't. Scott said that he's not the only one doing this and it's not wrong. He said that it's an opinion thing and he's not wrong about it.
Scott said that the dog loves him. John Boy said that the dog doesn't know that he's doing wrong. Scott said that he's not punching the dog with a fist. John Boy said he's seen that stuff and it's just wrong. Howard said he's already told Scott that before and it doesn't work.
John Boy liked the story that Howard told about making the pack of dogs run away by showing his fist and barking at them. He said he pictured them as Pitbulls, Rottweilers and a Wolf. Howard said they were just mutts. Howard let John Boy go so he could get to Cloris Leachman.
Cloris came in and told Howard that she's just 82 and turning 83 next month. Howard asked her how she got into acting. She said that she went to an actor's studio and ended up meeting Marlon Brando there. She said that she ended up crying when he stared at her funny one time.
Howard said he was always a fan of her's but didn't know that she was so wild. Cloris said that she thinks that she's many different people and she just figured that out recently. Cloris said that she was on Dancing with the Stars and at one point her leg went up on the judge's table and she didn't mean to do that, she's not sure why it even happened.
Howard asked Cloris if she ever had affairs with women. She said she never did and then asked Howard how many he had by the time he was 13. Howard said that he had just made out with a girl by that age. He was afraid of touching her breasts. Howard said that he read a book about what to do. He said that his father had that book in his collection.
Cloris was walking around so the guys told her to sit down so she didn't fall. Howard said he was afraid of her falling. Cloris asked if Howard had said vagina because she was a little behind on what he was saying. Howard said he did and asked her how her's was. Cloris said that she hasn't had sex in about 40 years now.
Artie said something that got Cloris' attention and she wondered who he was. Artie said that he actually worked with her about 8 years ago on the show ''Norm.'' She didn't remember ever doing that show. Artie said that he heard that she had laid her breasts out on the make up table but Cloris denied ever doing that. She said that the only time she ever did that was to nurse her kids.
Howard said that Cloris seems to be spry and in good shape for her age. He asked her if she got any plastic surgery. She said she never did that. Howard said that's why she looks like a human being. Cloris said that she tries to eat well. She said she eats Macaroni and Cheese about twice a day.
Cloris asked Howard when he started to get raunchy with his show. Howard said he was in his 20s when he decided that he just had to do that kind of stuff. She asked Howard how he's doing money wise on this radio show. Howard said he's doing better there than he did on regular radio.
Howard asked Cloris how many times she's been married. She said it was just once. Cloris said that the day they got married they were at the minister's house and she wanted to get out of there. She said that they had no where to go after that because the guy had no money.
Howard asked Cloris not to pull on something because he was afraid that she was going to break it. Then he asked her how big her breasts are. She said that she's a 36-D now. She used to be a 34-D but she's gotten bigger. Howard said that they don't build them like that anymore.
Howard said that Cloris is the same age as his mother but she seems to be less uptight. He asked her if she shaves her bush. Cloris laughed and said ''Oh my goodness.'' She said that this was the funniest place in the room and she wanted something to block her crotch area. Howard told her to please sit on the couch. She thought she was on a leash with the headphones on.
Gary said that he had to beg her to sit. Gary said that he would be more comfortable if she was sitting down. Howard said that she can sit and talk to him. He asked her more about not shaving her vagina down there. Cloris was laughing her ass off at that stuff.
Howard said that this was an insane asylum. Cloris said that she does wash her area down there. She said that she likes her's the way it is. She said that she doesn't have long hair or anything. Howard would ask her a question about something and she'd just start laughing. Artie said hello to her again and she started laughing her ass off again.
Cloris said that she had never sat in a studio with people all around her like that. Howard asked her if she was high. She laughed her ass off again. Artie asked her if she did drugs in her life. She said that she smoked weed. She said that she tried mushrooms when she was out camping one time.
Howard asked Cloris if she was wild sexually when she was younger. Howard said he pictures her as being very into it. Cloris was laughing at everything that Howard would ask. Howard asked her if she still pleasures herself. She laughed. She said that she doesn't even know where her ''down there'' is anymore.
Howard asked Cloris about her parents and found out that they stayed married but Cloris didn't get along with her father. She said that she got along great with her mother. She said that her father didn't pay much attention to her. She said that he was a good man but she didn't get along with him. Cloris said that he scared her but he was an honest and fair man.
Howard asked Cloris if she wanted him to hug her like her father should have done. She said she wanted that but Howard said he wasn't actually going to do it. Cloris said that she'd shave. That got Artie laughing his ass off.
Howard asked Cloris about working with Ed Asner and about how he hit on her. She said that he was a gallant man but he wasn't her type. She said that she likes men who are very funny and a little bit mean. Artie told her that she was in the right room.
Howard asked Cloris if she ever got spanked. Cloris said that she did get spanked and it was Senator Clayborn that did it. She said that they were third cousins. Howard asked her if she liked it. Cloris said that she didn't like it at all.
Cloris was still standing up and said Artie's name and asked ''Norm?'' like she had no clue that she worked on that show.
Howard said that Cloris had a one night stand with Gene Hackman back in 1971. He read about that and said that she also had a story about Marlon Brando hitting on her a few times. She said that they were in their 20s back then. Cloris said that he gave her a strange look when they went out to dinner and she never spoke to him again after that. She said that the look was cruel and shocking to her and she couldn't handle that. She said it was an angry look and not even a sexual look. She said she cried over it.
Howard asked Cloris if she's still close to the Mary Tyler Moore people. She said they were very close but they never call each other. Robin asked who she's closest to. She said that it was Valerie Harper. Howard said that he might have to exchange numbers with Cloris so he can have that kind of friend. He said that it must be wonderful to have famous friends like that.
Howard said that Mary Tyler Moore isn't her friend. Cloris said that she didn't like her at all. Then she said that she was just kidding and said that she won't shave, that's why. She said that she saw Mary half naked one time back then they worked together.
Howard said that Mel Brooks hit on Cloris. Cloris said that she had turned him down. She was going out with the man she eventually married at the time. She said it was great working with Mel back then on ''Young Frankenstein.'' She said she thinks that they may have been afraid that she was going to drop dead.
Cloris told Howard that it really sucks getting old and she hopes that he never gets to her age. She said she can't even walk normally anymore. She said that she has to hang on to stuff to make sure that she doesn't fall.
Cloris said that she went out with Senator Kennedy one time and he was driving her around. She said that they never had a sexual thing. Robin asked a question about that and Cloris ended up calling her a bitch in a joking way. She said that it's no wonder they have her sequestered in that booth.
Howard said that he read that Cloris' son was married to Sharon Stone. She said that was wrong. She said that Sharon Stone worked with her son. She said that she never had sex with her son either. Howard said that would have been some conquest for her son.
Howard said that Cloris has written a book about her life. He asked her if she wrote it herself. She said that she had the help of her ex-husband. She said that they adore each other but they're divorced now. She said that they had different ideas about how the kids should be raised. She said that she was right of course. Cloris said that he told her that she was soft on communism.
Cloris said that one time she and her husband gave their son this room in a guest house and he wanted to kick the kid out if he didn't keep his room clean. She said that the room was clean when they busted into the room one day and George, her husband, ended up kicking the kid out of the house because he found a tiny piece of dust. Cloris said that she just couldn't stand that.
Howard asked Cloris if she had good sex with George. She said it was good. Howard asked if she still thinks about sex and misses it. She said that she does think about it but she doesn't do anything now. She said that she tries to look at it down there but she's unable to see it.
Howard asked Cloris if the Academy Award helped her out in the business. She said she didn't work for a year after winning it. Howard asked her about working with Meg Ryan and if she thinks that she's good. Cloris said that she's okay but she could be great. Howard said that there are very few better than Cloris. She asked the guys to repeat that a few times for her.
Howard asked Cloris about being on Dancing with the Stars and if she liked that. She said that she did enjoy it. She said that one of the judges didn't like her though.
Howard gave Cloris some plugs for her book ''Cloris'' and said that she's going to be signing copies in the New Jersey and New York area this week. Howard told her that she should go braless for the guys. Cloris said that she's going to wear a bra and give them a real treat.
Cloris asked Artie about working on ''Norm'' and what she did on that show. Artie said he thinks that she played Laurie Metcalf's aunt on that show.
Howard said that Cloris really should keep it clean down below. He said that you never know when a guy is going to come into your life. Howard said that the hair down there ends up being longer than his penis. Cloris told him that he must have a tiny penis then.
Cloris told a story about Leonard Bernstein. She said that she and Leonard got there to a restaurant one time and she asked him to play her something. He ended up playing it on the oak table for her. She thought that was very exciting.
Howard asked Cloris why she never changed her name for show business. She said that people wanted her to change it. She said that she had some different names and she ended up sticking with the real one. Howard said that gives her character. Cloris said that she was thinking about changing it so she stuck her finger in the phone book and it ended up in the Ls. She said that the name that her finger was on was ''Leavitt'' so she left it.
Howard gave Cloris some more plugs for her book and the book signings she was going to be making. Cloris asked Howard if he had read it. Howard said he just got the book so he hasn't read it yet. Howard said that he had to thank her for gracing them today. Howard said they don't get a lot of Academy Award winners in there. Howard said he thinks that she had sex with Ted Kennedy but she said she swears she didn't. Fred did his Kennedy impression for a few seconds after that.
Howard took a call for Cloris and she asked the guy if she should shave. The caller said she should. He also asked what it was like to work on ''Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.'' she also talked about how great she was in ''Young Frankenstein.'' Cloris said that she was once asked to have sex with Paul Newman after he was married. She said that he kind of asked her and she kind of turned him down. She said that she wasn't sure what was going on with his marriage at the time.
Howard asked Cloris if she's close to Joann Woodward. She wasn't saying much but whispered to Howard that she was kind of boring. Then she said that she didn't think she was that great of an actress either.
Howard said that it was amazing that she turned Paul Newman down. Cloris said that he wasn't her type. She said that she would have sex with Howard before she'd do Paul Newman. Howard seemed to find that shocking. She said that Paul told her a joke one day and then came back a few hours later and told her the same joke.
Howard said that he thought Paul and Joann had this romance that was solid. Cloris said that maybe they did. She said that he didn't say he wanted to have sex with her but it was said in that kind of way.
Howard asked what Joann is going to think when she finds out that Cloris thinks that she's boring. Cloris said that she never said that. Howard said that she mouthed the words to him. She said she never did that.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he has a friend who said that he delivered scripts to her and she answered the door naked. Cloris said that's not true. She said that she wondered why they were hanging around her place all the time.
Howard gave Cloris some more plugs for the book and the signings. Cloris wondered how to get to Ridgewood, New Jersey. Howard told her that they'll have a driver for her. She said that the listeners need to know how to get there.
Cloris asked what she's going to do about Gene Hackman. She said that she's going to have to find him and apologize to him. She said that it was the oddest thing because they just tore upstairs to the bedroom and tore their clothes off. She said that she doesn't remember anything after he stuck his hand up her dress. Fred threw in a ''Droppin' loads'' clip when she brought that up.
Howard asked Cloris how she can't remember that. She said that maybe they didn't have sex at all. She said that it was so passionate that they were beside themselves. Howard was putting words into her mouth and she said that she never said any of that stuff. Cloris said that they only did it that one time.
Howard asked Cloris about what Gene did to her but she wasn't able to remember it. She said that it must have been so incredible that she just lost her mind. Howard told her about how he has been with women where he finished after just one stroke. Cloris said that she never said that.
Artie asked her if being with Gene was worse than being with Joann Woodward for dinner. She said that this was all going to get back to her. Howard wrapped up with her and tried to go to break but Cloris had a few more plugs for movies she's going to be in. She has one coming up on the Hallmark channel this Saturday night. She said that she has some other stuff coming out soon too. Howard said that she's very busy working these days. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Michael Penn is his e-mail buddy now. He said that he mentioned that he was a big fan and Michael wrote to Gary asking for his address. Howard said he wrote Michael back and it was one of those deals.
Howard said that he also got an e-mail from Bob Grant the radio guy. Howard said he wrote him back but he hasn't heard back from him yet. Howard said that they were talking about him on the show not too long ago and Bob must have heard about it.
Artie said he used to listen to Bob Grant every day. He said that he seemed to get angry at all of his callers. Howard said that he told Bob that he shines over all of his imitators and he never heard back from him.
Robin said she heard that one of the guys on the Boston Celtics is a huge fan. Gary confirmed that. Robin said that she heard that he mentioned the show during an interview after they won a championship. Howard said he'll have to go watch a game the next time they're in the City.
Howard said that Cloris was a great lady. He said that she didn't sit down the whole interview. He said he wouldn't sit on that couch either though. Howard said that there was someone on the phone who wanted to get her on the Sybian.
Howard sang some of the Stacy Rucker ''I Want More Howard Stern'' song and said that she actually has a new one out. She wants to come in and sing that for him. Howard said it's not as good as that first one. Howard said that she wrote them about a month ago and she's still trying to do the whole music thing. Gary said that the song was in the CD player. Howard played the song and said that he likes that old one better. Howard laughed after playing it. Robin said it was awful. Howard said the first one was kind of catchy.
Howard said that Dolly can't just write bad things about him, he has kids. Then he played Blue Iris singing ''I Love Cock and Balls'' as Dolly's new song. Howard said that wasn't it though. He had Fred play a Dolly Parton song after that and Howard said it sounded kind of like the Chipmunks. It was the original version of ''I Will Always Love You.''
Steve said that today is moving day for Captain Janks. His landlord is kicking him out. Steve said that High Pitch Eric is getting kicked out of his apartment if he doesn't come up with some bank rent.
Steve said that Sal and Richard are selling pictures of themselves with fans on their web site TheSalAndRichardShow.com. Howard said that sounds awful. Robin said that they should just charge at the appearances instead of selling them on the web site. She said that the only people interested are going to be the people who are in the pictures. Gary said that Sal had an explanation but Howard didn't want to hear it.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they had for today's show. That led to them playing the audio of Howard's snoring again. They were also talking a little bit about the Flo Rida appearance. Howard said that his shoring has been happening every night now. He said he thinks that he has one foot in the grave when he hears that.
Howard talked to Robin about why she would want to go to that Oprah school over in Africa. Robin said it was a friend of her's who had the idea. She said that her name is Arianne. Howard said that she has all of these friends with strange names now. Robin said that she's British. Howard did an impression of what that woman might sound like and goofed on her for a short time.
Ralph called in and said that he thinks the snoring thing may be a Dr. Sarno thing because it just started after he got married. Howard said that's not it. Howard said that Ralph could have made that call quicker but he kept mentioning the Sarno thing and people don't even know who he's talking about.
Howard said that was his big break and he doesn't know why people need face time with him. He said that he'd like it better if they called him on the phone instead. He said that Scott Greenstein is like that. Howard said that he'd rather have Rob looking at a photo of him while he's on the phone instead.
Robin asked about Skype and if he's tried that. Howard said he has to try that so he can call his daughter and see her. Robin said that she knows people who have that but she doesn't have it. Gary said that he has it and he can talk to his son in the morning. Gary said he doesn't get to see him before school and he likes to see him before he goes to school. Howard told Gary he might want to cut the umbilical cord. He said he's constantly involved with his house.
Howard told Gary that he should tell his son that he's a man and he has to work. Gary said that Oprah even uses Skype on her TV show. He said they don't use a satellite feed anymore, they just use Skype.
Howard said that Oprah still isn't mentioning that she works for SIRIUS XM on her TV show. Howard called her a fatso. Then Fred threw in some Tracy ''Fuck you'' and ''douche'' clips. Robin said that Oprah does mention the radio show in her magazine.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that the Dolly Parton song they played was a tribute to some guy that she used to work with. He said that it was Porter Wagner. Howard said that now she's going to write a song about him too. Howard had to get going and ended up hanging up on Jeff when he was asking Artie if his sister ''Animal'' could come to his show. Artie said that Animal is very sweet but he can't believe that's her nickname. Artie said that he thought he was insulting her but that's her nickname. Artie said that if his sister's nickname was animal, he'd call her Stacy.
Robin got to her news and read a story about a kid who lost his penis in an operation. They found that he had removed too much tissue in a circumcision.
Robin had a story about a woman who caught her husband cheating on her when she found a picture of his car in front of another woman's house on Google maps. Robin said that this isn't the only person caught doing that. She said that there have been a few.
Ralph called in and told Robin that the Google maps aren't live, it's just one picture. Gary said that Ralph is right and the guy just had some bad luck and got caught at that one place. Ralph told Howard about how amazing the service is and how they've caught a bunch of interesting stuff with their cameras.
Dominic called in and said that a husband or wife can hook up a tracking device on a vehicle and people can go and take pictures of where that car goes. Dominic was also saying that any pictures that you put on your computer are considered family computers so they can be used in court.
Gary said that there's a computer virus out now that may cause major problems with computers but they have no idea what it's going to do. They were talking about other viruses and things like that. Dominic said that anything on your computer can be found even if you erase it 10 times. He said he has a guy who can pull that stuff off no matter what.
Howard had Robin get back to her news. Robin read a story about a guy who may have urinated on a casino worker at the Foxwoods casino. The guy was found urinating in a trash can and was asked to finish in the bathroom when he peed on the employee.
Robin read a story about a woman who shot her husband and then claimed she thought he was an intruder. Robin had some audio of the 911 call but Howard said he wasn't able to find them. Gary said that Scott had to put them in. Howard waited for a few seconds and asked if Scott had forgotten. They eventually got it and played the quick call. Howard said that was the first 911 call that Robin has played that didn't have to do with someone not getting a meal at McDonald's.
Jeff the Drunk called back in and said that he was pissed about the way he's being treated on the show. Howard said it sounded fake to him. He said it sounds like another angle for getting on the air. Howard told Jeff he doesn't want him asking Artie for favors on the air. He said he doesn't have time for that. Howard hung up on him again and said that he's cuckoo.
Robin had a story about a woman who was caught with a gram of pot hidden in her ass. Artie said that those girls who were in there with Flo Rida today could smuggle a lot of pot in their asses.
Robin read a story about a car dealer that closed one day and some of the employees ended up getting into a fight.
Robin read a story about a pistachio processing plant having some problems. Robin said the name of the place was ''Pistachip'' and Howard kept telling her that it has to be pistachio. She insisted it was Pistachip. Robin said that they have to recall the nuts over concerns of salmonella contamination.
Howard asked Robin if she's allowed to eat nuts on her diet. Robin said she is. Artie said he was going to joke about Robin eating a lot of nuts with Jim Florentine. Robin said that was disgusting. Howard asked if she's ever done that to a guy, licking his balls. Robin said that her tongue may have gone to places like that with guys.
Howard said that Robin must have been sucking other people's nuts other than Jim's. Fred played some song parodies about Robin during that discussion.
Robin read a story about some teens that had some naked pictures of themselves on their phones. They're not going to be charged with child porn. Robin said that the courts are trying to figure out what to do with kids who do stuff like that.
Artie said he saw his new favorite TV show called ''Big Love.'' It's a dating show about fat people. Artie said he's going to love watching that. Howard said no one will watch that. Artie said that maybe he'll get on it. Howard said that Artie doesn't want the chicks that are going to be on that show. Artie said that Howard is right, they're going to set fat people up with fat people. Howard said that fat people aren't attracted to other fat people.
Robin had a story about how hard it is to get into Harvard. She said that only 7 percent of the applicants for 2013 were accepted. That led to Howard and Artie talking about how going to Harvard is like guaranteeing that you'll get work when you get out. Howard said that not wanting to go there would be like a guy saying that he wouldn't want to fuck Angelina Jolie because he wanted to be with a regular chick instead.
Robin said that Lisa Ling's sister is going to be tried in North Korea for alleged hostile acts. Howard said that you don't go over there to screw around. Howard said that she should have a read a paper to see that the country is being run by a mad man. He's not going to let there be any free press over there. Howard said that you should know you're in trouble when you go to a country and they're saying ''Ching chong ching chong ching...''
Robin read about Madonna trying to adopt a child in Malawi. Howard said that he thinks they should just give her the child. He didn't want to get into it again since he went over it earlier this morning.
Robin read some news about the flooding going on in the Mid-West. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that nightmare.
Robin read some news about the auto industry bail out. She had some people commenting on that whole thing. Some people don't think it's a good idea to bail them out. Some people don't think it would be that bad of GM or Chrysler went out of business because other companies would pick up those sales.
Robin read a story about a guy who got an additional 779 years in prison for attempted 1st degree murder and a bunch of other things. One of his shooting victims has 90 shotgun pellets stuck in him and he doesn't think this guy should get out of prison. Another woman talked about what happened to her son.
Robin had some news about Plaxico Burress and his legal problems. Robin read some stuff about the new Fast and the Furious movie. She had some audio of one of the actresses talking about the cast's chemistry together.
Robin had more Seth Rogen audio clips where he was talking about his latest movies. Howard said it really seems like he's being interviewed about new movies every week. Seth was talking about the new Green Lantern movie as well.
Robin read some news about tonight's American Idol. She had some audio of Kara talking about what the winner is going to need to win.
Robin said that Slumdog Millionaire is out on Blu-Ray this week. She had some audio of one of the stars talking about how she now believes in destiny after doing that movie. Howard said that chick is pretty much done. Not many people with that accent are going to get movie roles. Robin finished up her news and they ended the show around 10:50am.
Will said that Cloris had a lot of great stories about banging these Hollywood legends. He said that booking her was a no brainer.
Gary said that Cloris was walking around the studio and she had the headphones on with the cord attached so he was worried that she was going to fall. He said that's why he asked her to sit down. Gary said she was going to sit but then Howard asked her about her bush and she hopped up again.
Gary said that he has had plenty of people sit down and look around when Artie talks but he's never had they walk around like that.
Jon said that Cloris is a funny lady and she was great in ''Young Frankenstein.'' Gary said that she got a bunch of Emmys and two of them were from ''Malcolm in the Middle'' and he didn't know that.
Gary said that he got the impression that she would be humored by Howard and that's the way it came off today. He said that Howard did seem to shock her a couple of times.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it was the best interview ever with Cloris today. Jon said that she hit right back with the jokes and she's 82 years old. He said that most of her wits are there too. The caller said that Cloris is a dirty lady, he can tell from listening.
Jon had Teddy play some audio from the show where Cloris talked about Paul Newman asking her once to do it. Jon said that he's pretty sure they'll be hearing more about that now that she's revealed that.
After playing the clip Jon asked what Cloris was doing when she wasn't talking. Benjy said that she was mouthing stuff and Artie caught some of what she was mouthing. Gary said that he always thought that Paul Newman was dedicated to Joann Woodward and this stuff was kind of shocking to hear. Gary said that you always got that they were a rock solid couple and no one has ever come out and said anything like that.
Gary said that things are going to get bad in about a week when the story ends up in the National Enquirer. Jon asked Gary if this tarnished Paul's image in his mind. Gary said it really doesn't. He said that the guy is such a great giver. He said that he's not sure that Cloris was the only one that he hit on either.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Cloris was one fantastic person and he's always loved her work. Jon asked him what his favorite role was. The guy said that she was great on the Mary Tyler Moore show. He liked her in Young Frankenstein too.
Jon said that Cloris talked about working on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and how they've pretty much stuck together all these years. Gary found out that Paul Newman was married to Joann Woodward for 50 years.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Robin was caught off guard when Cloris called her a bitch. Gary said he didn't think that she was.
Benjy said that Cloris was wandering around and peeking into Robin's booth which looked pretty odd. Jon said that it was also funny when Artie asked her about working on the Norm Show with him. Jon said that she was asking who played Norm and stuff like that so it was pretty amusing.
The guys went through some of the shows that Cloris was on in her career. She was on just about everything back in the 70s.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Cloris was in ''Beer Fest'' and she was stroking a sausage in that movie.
Another caller, Nikki, said that she loved the stories that Cloris was telling. She said that she wanted to know if they hypnotized Tim that weekend he went to Robin's house. She said that he is in a daze and he doesn't want food. She said that he seems to be acting different. Gary said that he has been acting like a robot lately.
The guys asked Nikki if she thinks that Robin was hypnotized too. She said that she may have been. Gary said that he might have to try the ''Wakie Wakie'' thing with Robin to see if she was hypnotized.
Another caller said that Cloris was in ''The Picture Show'' and she was great in that. The guy said that the Paul Newman thing might be the ramblings of a woman in her later years. He said that maybe it was just a flirtation thing and it wasn't that big of a deal. Gary said that they may never know because Paul is dead and Cloris is the only one who was there with him.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up the Iron Maiden discussion they had yesterday and Gary was saying that most of the audience has to know about the guests. He wondered why Cloris was on the show and Iron Maiden isn't. Gary said that a lot of people know who Cloris is and she was just on Dancing with the Stars so she's relevant. He said that Iron Maiden hasn't done anything lately.
The caller said that he wasn't saying that Cloris was bad on the show or anything. He said that she was great and so was Paul Anka. He just thinks that their logic is flawed.
Gary said that Howard has to have an angle on the guests and sometimes he just doesn't know anything about them and that's why they'll pass on them.
Jon took a call from the guy who bashes the Mets every day. He did his usual thing and bashed them and goofed on Gary for being a fan.
Another caller said that he said that he thinks that Robin's mood has been affected lately because of her diet. He also wanted to know if they thought that Jim dumped Robin when he saw the giant picture of her hanging in her house. Gary said that this diet has saved Robin's life and she gets upset when they goof on it. He said that Tim might be the one with the mood swings because of the diet, not Robin. Gary also said that he doesn't know that Jim dumped Robin either.
The guys talked about how hard it is to be supportive of this diet. Gary said that they weren't being not supportive, they were just skeptical about the diet. Jon asked the guys if they think that Robin is going to go to Africa. Gary said he can imagine that happening. They had to go to break after that.
JD said that he's glad he didn't go in there because Benjy's pants came off at one point. JD said that he looks forward to the Flo Rida interviews now that he knows he's bringing in the girls with big asses.
Jon asked JD what he thought about the girls that were on the last time. JD said that girl wasn't into him. He said he did try to look for her through various web sites and google searches. He said that they did get in touch and they just texted a lot. JD said that he didn't end up hooking up with her. JD said they haven't texted much lately either and he's not expecting anything.
Jon asked JD what he thought of Howard wondering about his work out when he was talking to Flo Rida about his. JD said he didn't think he was jealous or anything.
JD and Jon talked about the sacks of money that they came in with today. Jon said that Flo Rida was saying that the money isn't really in the downloads and the records but the appearances and the ring tones. He said that he got paid $100,000 to do a bar mitzvah.
Jon asked JD what he thought of the girls. JD said that one of them had a really big ass. He said that they were both pretty ladies. JD said there is such a thing as an ass that's too big. He said that you can have too much of a good thing... ''I think... who knows.''
JD said that he thought Robin was a good host on that show. He said that she's been doing the radio thing for years so she was good. JD said that Tim was good too but that's not the normal show he would listen to. He said it may help someone though.
Another caller said that he thinks that the Artie thing with the song sounds really corny. He said that Artie should just buy a real song instead of using that original. Jon said that it's not that cheap to do something like that and it's kind of nice that he's helping that intern out.
The caller was also going off on Richard and Sal about them not doing enough on the show lately. He said that they're doing Bart Simpson shit now with those Tradio Show calls.
Jon said that Howard likes the work they do and Howard might not want Sal and Richard in the studio every day. That might be why they keep out of there. The caller said that the ''Ethel'' stuff is really tired with Richard doing that female voice too.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked where JD's dad has been. JD said he doesn't know. He said he didn't tell him not to call in or anything. He said he hasn't talked about that to his father since they talked about it on the show.
Another caller was arguing with JD about Flo Rida and some of the stuff he was saying when Jon questioned him about it. The caller said that JD wasn't being honest. JD said that he was just saying that he doesn't like Flo Rida's music that much because it's not the type that he listens to.
A caller said that he didn't like the Flo Rida song. He said that Artie seems to be getting a free pass that Jackie never got about the stuff he sells. The guy said that Artie keeps doing the same comedy show that he's been doing forever and he puts out these shitty DVDs. Jon said that the DVDs aren't shitty to him, he thinks that he's very talented. He said that Artie's fame has been propelled since he got on the show but he came on the show with a long resume. JD was also saying that Jackie had to get plugs on the show, it was in his contract. There's a big difference the way they handle it.
The caller said that Artie is completely mailing it in on the show now and they're missing that. The guy said that once you've seen one of Artie's shows, you've seen them all. He said that even on Letterman, if you've seen those appearances, you've seen his act.
The caller was upset with Artie for the way he's been treating the show. Jon said that he might be doing that but he's been struggling with drugs and stuff over the past couple of years. Jon said that Artie has changed and evolved into the comedian that he is right now.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they should do a Jon and JD show every day after the Stern Show. He was also saying that he doesn't remember the last time Fred missed a show. He said that he'd like to know who would fill in for him.
Benjy said that Fred had to leave early one day and Sal sat in for him. Jon said that they'd probably have to do something like that or maybe have Jim McClure sit in for him. Jon said that maybe some day Teddy would be qualified to do that too. Teddy got up to leave when he heard that. Jim McClure had to sit in for him. Teddy came back in and said that he just had to pee. Jon apologized to him for insulting him earlier.
The caller told Sal and Richard to keep up the Tradio calls. Jon said that there was someone who called in earlier saying that the Tradio calls had jumped the shark. Sal said that as long as the stuff is funny they'll keep doing it.
Jon said that earlier in the show Howard said that he didn't want to hear an explanation of why they were selling pictures on their web site. Sal said that when they have their shows they take pictures with them and sign whatever they want. He said that they have a photographer that takes professional pictures and sells them on their web site. He said that they don't charge people if they take them there at the show. Sal said that they even sign drink coasters and stuff if the fans want.
Sal said that the pictures are like $10-20 or something like that but he's not sure how much exactly. Sal said they're willing to sign anything and they don't charge for it all.
Benjy said that he didn't like the way that Steve presented that story. He said it was presented in a way that made it seem like a horrible thing. Will agreed and said it's really not that big of a deal. He said that he would have loved to have been able to goof on Sal but that's just not the way it is.
Jon asked Sal if he heard that he got a bunch of crap on the show yesterday after he called in. Sal said he did hear that and he thought it was a bunch of horse shit. He said that he was getting sicker on Sunday so he called Gary at 8 on Sunday night. He said that if he hadn't called him that night he wouldn't have slept and he would have ended up calling him at 4 in the morning.
Will said that Sal seems stressed out a lot lately and he might be working too hard. Sal said that they spend a lot of time shooting and working there so he's been staying until 7 at night or so. He said that sometimes it can get to him. He said it's the greatest job in the world but it can get to you.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they have the greatest job there. He said that Howard is making huge money there and he'd like to know why Howard would give up and retire. Jon said that Gary had just come back in so he asked him what he thought. Gary said ''Because he can.'' Gary said that if you could never work again, would you want to work again or not. The caller said that said that he doesn't have fun at work so he's not the right one to ask. Gary said that it's still work even if it is fun. Will said that Howard has a lot of pressure on himself to do a great job too so it's not easy.
Jon said that Howard is happy with Beth and maybe he wants to live his life a little bit outside of work. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about Richard Christy's stink this morning. He said he smelled some awful smell in the hall this morning and it was Richard eating something covered in cheese. He said it was Richard's birthday today. He was celebrating by eating that stinky food.
Richard told him that he's going to celebrate by getting a pizza from Papa John's today. Then he watches Halloween part 1 and 3. Richard said that he's been doing that since 1996.
Richard also told Howard that the food he's eating is Caraba's chicken Brian. Howard told him it really smells like vomit. Richard said it tastes better than it smells. Richard said the food came from Connecticut yesterday. Richard wants to open one of those restaurants there in the city if he ever gets rich.
Richard said that someone once sent him live lobsters at work. Howard said he doesn't eat them because of the way they kill them. He said that he hates that. People tell him that they don't feel it but he read a study that shows that they do feel pain. Fred played a clip of Benjy screaming as the sound of the lobsters making noise.
Artie said that the fact that a Papa John's can even stay open in New York City really bothers him. He said that it's not real pizza and it's disgusting. Artie said that there's a pizzeria right up the street from them. Richard said he goes there sometimes. He said that he likes to keep his tradition and he also likes the Papa John's better than the regular pizza place.
Howard said that Richard has been bursting out of his clothes lately because of the weight he's gained. Richard said he's been learning to suck it in lately. Howard said he still wears the same clothes he's had for the past few years.
Howard said Richard gets upset when people call him fat. Richard said it really bothers him when Mike Gange calls him fat. Howard said that Mike is like twice as big as Richard. He said he's really weak when it comes to that stuff. Howard said Gange used to ask him for diet advice but he'd never follow through.
Howard said that Richard claims he still goes to the gym. Richard said he does. He's still gaining weight though. Howard said that there are some people in the world who are able to keep fit because they care about how they look. American's don't seem to care and just keep eating. Howard said that the Europeans really hate that because we're so loud and annoying on top of being fat.
Richard said he got yelled at when he was over in Paris. He broke something in a store and got a lecture about what's wrong with Americans.
Howard said he was trying to guess how old Richard is and he was way off because of how he looks. Richard is only 35. Richard said that's because he's gone through so much in his life.
Richard said that they stay after the show and take pictures with people and sign every autograph. Howard said that there's nothing wrong with selling stuff but he gets upset with people like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly because they sell so much junk. Howard said that the greats in show business never saw their careers like that and they don't look at the audience like an endless cash machine. Howard said he never did that himself.
Howard said they should have pride and maybe have some integrity and not sell that junk. Artie said that makes sense to him but some people don't have the ability to entertain. Artie said he was just joking about that. He said that they can entertain.
Howard said that Sal and Richard have to just let the fans go and not try to figure out a way to sell them more stuff.
Gary said that Sal barged into his office to explain why they take the pictures. He compared it to Disney where they take your picture and then charge you if you want a copy. Howard said that you get raked over when you go to Disney. Gary agreed with that.
Sal came in and Howard said he heard he was near tears talking about all of the people being so down on him. Howard told him to get a divorce if he's that upset. Sal was ready to leave after that. Howard told him to just accept that he's in show business and he doesn't have to do this stuff.
Howard said that he's offered all kinds of junky stuff like magazines, fashion lines, perfume and more. He said that he doesn't get why they try to sell ''I Love Tradio'' t-shirts on their site. He wondered how many people could have actually purchased one. He said it's probably 7 people. Sal said that he agrees with Howard on that but there are people who do enjoy buying stuff like that.
Howard said that Jackie used to sell that kind of stuff on his web site and he never thought he had any respect for himself or the show. Howard said that people probably bought that junk and then cursed Jackie and the show out when they woke up the next morning and saw what they bought.
Sal said that they don't peddle that stuff and they just let people see it and buy it if they want. Sal said that they don't sell buttons and mugs and stuff.
Sal was all down on himself so Howard told him to just get rid of the wife already. Sal said he called a therapist yesterday and he has to get back to him. Sal said that everything in his head is screwed up right now. Howard told him that's because he has a shitty marriage. Sal said that they're going to Florida this weekend together and they're getting along okay. Howard said that they don't get along. He said he likes Sal's wife but Sal doesn't get along with her.
Sal said that there are some things they just can't fix. He said he still loves her. Howard said that Sal writes songs about pushing her down the steps, what kind of love is that? Howard said that he thinks that Christine is a nice woman but they just don't get along.
Sal said that he blames himself for driving his wife to what she did. Howard said it sounds like torture to him. Howard asked why he would stay in it if it's so miserable. Gary said that they want to fix it but then neither of them do anything to fix it.
Gary said that Sal and his wife were going to therapy for a while but then they stopped. Sal said that his wife used to laugh at the therapist and at him. He said that she laughed at him for crying. Howard said he likes her and he would date her if she was single.
Richard said that Sal's wife got a standing ovation at their show the other night. He said the audience loved her.
Sal said his wife told him he was overreacting when he cried in that therapy session. He said that she was upset about the money they were spending on it too. Sal said that she was more worried about buying new clothes. He said that's when he called off the therapy. Sal said that they've been getting along lately.
Howard asked Sal when his wife kissed him and told him she loves him. Sal said that she did it two days ago when he broke down and flipped out. Sal said that he did it in front of the kids. He said he's never done that in front of the kids before.
Sal said that he's been getting a lot of text messages about the way things are going on the show with Howard going off on him and stuff. Howard asked him who it is that's texting him. Sal said that they're friends of his. Howard said that he wouldn't be friends with people like that if they texted him that stuff. Sal said that his friend Ian was one of them. Sal called him his ''Miserable Jewish friend.'' Howard told Sal to drop him like a hot potato because he's a jealous prick.
Howard said that friends don't rile you up when you're home trying to get over being sick. He told him not to let his friends get him down like that. He told Sal to tell Ian to lose his number and stop texting him. Howard told him to tell Ian to fuck off. He should act like a man.
Sal said that he's basically cutting everyone out of his life lately. Sal said that Ian does make him feel better about his life though. He said that's why he stays friends with him. Howard said that a friend would write to him and tell him he hopes that he feels better. Sal said Ian did that too. Richard said he did that too.
Sal said that he didn't get a text from Howard. Howard told him that he's not his friend so of course he didn't get one from him. Sal said he loves Ian even though he's a miserable prick. Sal said that Ian is a self hating Jew.
Howard asked Sal why he thinks that he's got all of this stuff tumbling down on him. Sal said that it all seems to come from the bad marriage thing. Howard told him that it's over and he should get out.
Robin said that when she ends relationships with people who make her miserable, it's great. She said that her home is a good place to go to when there's no one there making her feel shitty. Sal said that he and his wife do get along though. Sal said that he can't figure it out, no one can figure it out.
Howard asked Sal what it is that he can't figure out. Sal said he can't figure out why he and his wife can't work things out. Howard told him that he's a masochist and he seems to love the pain. Sal said that he's fine now and he's just been focusing on his work lately.
Howard told Sal that he's not okay, he was almost in tears on the Wrap Up Show. Sal said he's just been busy lately.
Howard played some of the Wrap Up Show audio where Sal was talking about how busy he has been with work and how stressful it is. Howard said that Sal was near tears in that clip. They had a new song parody about Sal from the Bleeding Deacons. They sang ''Sal Don't Cry and Whine.''
Howard told Sal and Richard not to try and get every last cent from their audience. Howard said that there are probably 4 people who want the pictures from their web site. Howard said that they shouldn't look like they're trying to grub off the audience. He said they should sell selectively instead of selling all they can.
Richard said that they send out 8x10s that people request and they don't charge for that. Howard said that he doesn't even send out anything like that. Howard said that the audience would respect them more if they didn't have those pictures at all.
Richard said that he's probably one of the only almost celebrities who fills out the envelope as well. He said that the audience gets his autograph and the envelope filled out by him.
Sal told Howard that Richard has his own 143 (I Love You) type of thing now. He made up 423 which is ''Jack Me Off.'' Howard said he had to get out of this discussion when he heard that.
Howard checked out some of the junk Sal and Richard were selling on their web site. He asked how many of those shirts they could have sold. Richard said he's autographed a couple, maybe two or three.
Sal said that they don't want to be looked at as money grubbers. Howard said that they should stop selling that junk then. He said that maybe a couple of items here and there but not a whole web site full of shit. Richard said that they just sell that stuff to pay for the web site. Howard told them to take down the web site all together. Richard said they have to keep it up to show their show dates. Howard said that they could do it in other ways.
Richard said the site is TheRichardAndSalShow.com. They're booked almost every weekend from now until the end of July. They said the stuff they sell on the web site is just paying the guy who designed the site at this point.
Sal said that they're working Thursday nights now and even with that they're not making enough that they have money in the bank. Sal said that he still has nothing. He said they're still paying off credit cards, home equity loans and more. Howard asked what Sal's wife is buying with his money. He told him to sell it all on Tradio if he has to.
Sal said that his wife has at least 30-40 pocket books and he should take pictures of all of that. Richard said that Christine asked his girlfriend what he had bought with all of this money that he was making. Howard said that these guys are just trying to come up with a cushion of money to have for when they really need it and Sal's wife is spending it all.
Howard told Sal to cut up all of his credit cards. Sal said he should because they're all maxed out. Artie said that working that much is a lot of fuckin' work. He said that every weekend until July is crazy.
Sal's friend Ian called in and said that he doesn't text. He said that he called Sal's wife and told her about what Howard was saying about him. Howard asked him what Sal is going to get out of it when he tells him about what they're saying about him. Howard told him that he should use his head and not do that. Ian said that he's the one helping out with Sal and Christine's kids when they're at therapy.
Howard told Sal that he has to dump this guy, he's not a real friend. Sal said he's not going to dump Ian. Sal said that he loves him. Ian told Sal that he was upset that he was Christine's number 2 emotional friend, that's what he was upset about. He chuckled after saying that.
Howard told Ian that he's not a friend. Ian said he felt like he had to let Sal know what Howard was saying about him. Howard said that this guy is a friend like Judas is a friend. Artie said that when he's out people know better than to call him and let him know what they're saying about him.
Richard said that Sal called him the night he was out and he tried to play it down a little. Howard said that Ian is vicious. Ian said he's really not. Howard told him that Sal should get rid of him. Ian didn't think that was the case.
Howard said he had gotten sucked into their world and he wasn't able to get out. He told the guys to conduct themselves like they're tops. He said that they just have to give the people a good show and leave like a star. Howard said that they don't have to be at the bar telling people to go to their web site to get a Tradio t-shirt. Howard said that he hired them because they're funny, not because they make t-shirts.
Howard said that he could probably make a ton of money selling Howard Stern sponges and ridiculous stuff like that but he doesn't want to be that kind of person. Sal said he knows where Howard is coming from but people do like mementos from the show. Howard said that not that many people want that stuff. He said that they don't have to think about bilking the audience out of money. Sal said he's going to take his advice on that.
Howard said that maybe they should go out and write a book or something. Richard said they could write a book about how to make prank calls. Howard said that no one is going to buy a book like that. He told them that their thinking is all wrong.
Howard said if he was going to sell t-shirts he would go into business with Calvin Klein. Richard said that they are high quality shirts. Robin said that the stuff they put on them makes them shit though. Robin said that people don't just slap their names in big block letters on a t-shirt.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said that Howard is absolutely right and he's way too nice to them. Melrose asked if Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld or Craig Gass do anything like that. He was saying that they're all brilliant comedians. Artie asked how Craig Gass got on that list. Melrose said that he thinks he's brilliant. Howard said that Craig is probably in his basement making t-shirts right now.
Howard talked about the pictures they take of you at Disney and charge people to buy them. Howard said that Sal and Richard shouldn't be in that business. Melrose said that he wants to buy a picture from Sal and Richard. He asked how much it was and said he wanted to pay for it with Jewish money. Richard said he thinks that the pictures are $15 regular and $20 autographed.
Howard said that he wants these guys to make money but this might not be the right plan. Artie said that charging more for the autograph looks bad. He told them to stop with that at least.
Howard said that people come to him all the time telling him that he could sell tons of t-shirts. He knows he could but that's not what he's looking to do.
Melrose was about to say something but Howard cut him off in the middle of a sentence as he hung up on him. He told Sal and Richard to get out of there too. They played them out with Sal's song ''Beat My Wife'' which is about throwing his wife down a stairwell among other things. Howard wondered if Sal brought that song to therapy with him.
Howard said that Beth gets that same thing where people ask her what he's buying her with all of that money he makes. Howard said that Beth is great about that though and she'd be embarrassed if he was doing that. Howard said he put a stop to that stuff. Howard said that he tells Beth about all of the people in her life who aren't her real friends.
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Howard said that Beth was at the North Shore Animal League yesterday and that's someone who really cares about something. Howard said that the Kardashians just care about being famous.
Howard said that he'd like to call PETA and ask how many times Kim Kardashian has been to a meeting. Robin told Howard that it's not Kim who is posing. Howard said that he doesn't care, he's not going to learn their names. He said that they're all ''Kim'' to him.
Howard said that Kim has a big fat ass and he'd never watch that show of theirs. He said that they're not all that hot and black guys don't like the big asses like so many people say.
Howard said that he and Beth don't get into that whole thing where they tell each other what they can and can't do. He said that he's not sure if Beth would do a PETA thing where she was naked. He said that she's half naked when she goes out already. He said she's going to be wearing something really hot to the concert on Saturday night.
Eric said that he did that at one of the local Indian casinos. Howard told him that was great and Artie said ''Take care Eric, we'll see ya.''
Eric said that he asked Rich and Dennis if he could become a small partner in the Bunny Ranch. Howard said he doesn't get why he's making all of this up. He asked who wrote this script, Johnny Fratto? Eric said it wasn't him.
Eric said there's no joke to this. Artie said ''you're damn right.'' Eric said that Johnny thinks that he's wasting his money getting into the Bunny Ranch business. Howard congratulated him on his winnings. He asked Eric what Dennis says about being a partner. Eric said he has a meeting today.
Howard told Eric to let them know how the meeting goes. Robin said that Eric would do the whole Bunny Ranch thing because he thinks that he can get the girls. Howard said he was going to give Eric $1,000 in prize money but now he doesn't need it. Eric kept going with the story and didn't want the money. Howard wondered why he would keep that up.
Howard said that he had a guy run up to him with a video recorder and he was getting him and his daughter on camera. Howard said he doesn't get why people would yell out that they're a fan if they just want to get him walking. He said that it's just going to be some lame thing on TMZ or something.
The caller also brought up Jackie's Joke Hunt show from last night because Pat Cooper was on. Howard said he hadn't heard the show. The caller also had a question about the whole Jackie leaving the show thing. He asked why they would leave the show over like half a million if Jackie was getting 10 million. Howard said that there was a lot of people giving Jackie bad advice. He said that Jackie should have looked at the big picture and taken the money that they were offering. Howard said that he doesn't blame Jackie's wife either. He said that maybe Jackie didn't listen to her, they really don't know.
Howard said that he sat Jackie down and tried to talk to him but he was very angry with him. Howard said that Jackie had plans for things he could do but they never did happen. Jackie had talked about going out to Los Angeles to ''punch up scripts.'' He never did that and he doesn't think he ever did.
Howard and Artie said they have heard of guys who punched up scripts but they were legendary guys who did that for a living. Howard said he's not sure what Jackie is getting for stand-up gigs now. Artie said it has to be less than it was when he was on the show.
Howard said he still likes Jackie a lot but he felt bad for him back when he left the show. Howard said that there are no jobs in radio that pay as well as this one did. He said that Kidd Chris was making nothing being on in Philadelphia when he was on there. He said that Jackie was dreaming when he was on there and wanted even more.
Howard said that most radio guys are eating shit from some program director. He said that they have it made on his show. He thinks that Jackie thought he had a hidden agenda or something. Robin said that Jackie wanted something and that's what he was up to.
The caller said that Jackie was trying to get Pat to ride his coat tails and sign on with his manager to do shows for $25,000. When Pat asked him how much is cut was, Jackie went silent.
The caller was also asking why Howard doesn't start the show at 9 on Monday mornings. Howard said that the fans like to hear a fresh show early in the morning. Artie said that was an interesting concept to start the show on Monday. Howard said he'd be happy to do the show at 9. He said that this is the gig they're doing and they're sticking with it.
Artie said that they're not comedians so he's not sure why Gary thinks that they could have been funnier. Gary said that they did one sketch where Ozzy was in a leotard. He said that he felt bad for the guy and it was embarrassing for him.
Howard said he didn't think that Ozzy liked doing it. He said that maybe people liked it. He said he'll have to watch it today himself. Gary told the guys about some of the other bits they were doing on the show and Howard said that they sounded kind of funny. He wasn't sure how they actually came off on the show though. Howard had to go to break after that quick discussion.
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Howard came back and asked who was performing that song. Robin thought it was a new rendition of the song. It's been out for years.
Howard said that Tim came barreling in there with some juice and asked him to try it. He was saying that it was some organic juice from some new place and they didn't have to go to ''Pumps'' for lunch. Howard said that he told him that it's just ''Pump'' and not Pumps. Howard had the menu so he checked it out but he wasn't sure if he was going to try it. Robin said that the place is all organic and Stacy Lange raves about it.
Howard said that he got a salad from this place European and loved that. He said that he has all kinds of stuff thrown in there like egg whites, beans, avocado and a bunch of other stuff. Howard said that was his dinner after he went running so he needed all of that. Robin said she saw him out running yesterday. She said that she could have caught him because he was running so slow. Howard said he really was slow yesterday.
Artie said that he's really feeling like crap lately so he hired a trainer so he can try getting back into shape. Artie said that he's going to start doing a treadmill thing and then the guy is going to hit him ground balls for like an hour. He said he's going to do some batting practice and stuff like that.
Howard asked if Artie went to the shrink yet. Artie said that he goes to the shrink today. He said he had a phone thing with him once but he has to go and meet him. Howard told Artie to calm down with that because he always likes people before he meets them.
Artie said that the bottle of juice that he saw was the same stuff he sees his sister with. He tasted the stuff that Tim brought in and it was good. He said he thinks that it's grapefruit juice.
Howard said he had something called salmon pastrami and it was really good. Artie said that did sound good. Robin was talking about some of the stuff she's eating and was a little too excited over it. Howard said that Robin has started taking people under her wing lately and gets them on this detox diet. Artie said he heard that Laura is on the diet now. Howard said he heard that there were others who were going on it too but he wasn't sure if they wanted their names on the air.
Lisa said that she went back to Tim's office to taste something that he had. She said it wasn't for her. She said that diet just isn't for her and she's not a fan of people losing a lot of weight very quickly. Robin said that she's been doing that for a couple of years now. Lisa said that she doesn't think that losing 21 pounds in 3 weeks is right. Howard said that Tim was so fat that it's not that much. Robin said there's a lot of water weight in that 21 pounds.
Artie told Robin that she dodged a bullet with Lisa not being into that diet. Lisa thanked him for pointing that out.
Lisa said that they have a story about a bowling alley owner who says that Jessica Hahn was proposed to by her new boyfriend. She said that Jessica apparently said yes but they haven't heard back from her yet. Lisa said that the guy may have been a business partner of Jessica's late husband. Howard wondered if he's going to be able to get his hands on her money.
Artie wondered if the guy had points in ''Married with Children.'' Howard said that Jessica's late husband created that show.
Lisa said that they spoke to Seth Davis who has been dropping a lot of Baba Booey references on the TV show that he does. He also made a ''Zero point zero'' reference during a game. Lisa said that he's willing to cover any sporting event they have on the show. Howard let Lisa go after that.
Howard said he's glad that he stayed on the radio. He said he can't just sit there doing a tight hour where he has to worry about having guests or writing those long sketches and stuff. Howard said that the bits make him want to vomit.
Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel didn't want to do it like everyone else. He didn't want to wear a tie in the beginning but now he's wearing a tie and doing a monologue like he said he didn't want to do. Howard said that they're all doing the same exact show. He said they all have the same format. Howard said that the bits are never funny and it's the same thing day in and day out.
Howard said he wouldn't want that. He asked Artie if he would. Artie said he wanted to do a sketch show like Chappelle did. He said that it would be more like that and less like the late night shows. Artie said that doing the short form stuff is tough to go back to after doing a show like Howard's.
Howard read some of the e-mails about Cloris and the fans really seemed to like what they heard. Howard read a few of those and said that they should have her on again. Howard said that they suggested having her in with George Takei.
Howard said that there was one negative e-mail from someone who thought that Robin was cackling too much and that he had done a bad job with the interview.
Howard had some feedback about Robin and Tim's detox show. Howard said that it was all positive toward Robin and Tim. Howard said that the fans were getting after him for going off on Robin and Tim. Howard had a bunch about that and people were saying that they're getting on the diet or something similar.
Howard read through a bunch of other e-mails and one guy said that he's been making lip smacking noises on the air. Howard said he didn't think that he was doing that. Robin said that he actually has been doing that. Howard said that's actually him beating off. Howard said he really doesn't care, he's not perfect.
Howard said someone asked him not to take anymore Dominic Barbara phone calls. The guy said that it's a struggle to hear what Dominic says. Howard agreed with that guy and said that it really is tough to hear him. He said he calls in on a shitty phone or something. He told Dominic not to call in anymore or get on a good, hard wired phone.
Fred and Howard were doing their impressions of Dominic. Fred made it sound very gurgly and Howard was covering his mouth and making it near impossible to understand a word he was saying. Artie got in on it and goofed on him too.
Dominic called in on a good phone finally. Howard said that he had to be on a hard line. Dominic asked if he could get an ISDN line. Howard said that he wouldn't want to do that. He said that Dominic was ruining the bit today by calling in on a good phone after they goofed on him about calling in on the shitty phone. Dominic said he's trying to correct his ways. He said a quick ''Goo' bye'' after that.
Howard wondered why she blames him for everything. Gary said that she is going to be doing a show on Howard 101 next Monday.
Howard said that the fans should call in and tell Suzanne that he's the devil and that should get her going. Howard said that he really is like Lex Luthor to her Underdog.
Howard said that he has tried to talk to Suzanne about how his father did the Underdog recordings back when they were making the cartoons. She just doesn't care about that and thinks that he's evil.
Howard played more of Suzanne's rant about him. In the clip she talked about her cat dying and how she buried it in an abandoned golf course. Suzanne was saying that she buried another cat there at another time. The two cats were Blackie and Ebony. Howard said that someone might ask her on her show if she would name her cat after Howard.
Howard asked Gary when she's going to be on. Gary said that it's next Monday night at 7. Howard said that Doug Stanhope was coming in after the break. He said that he's still dating Bingo. He said that she's heavily medicated now so she's not as much fun as she used to be. Howard said that Doug recently had a threesome just so he could talk about it on the show. He said that should be good.
Howard and the guys were talking about how quickly Gore stepped down when the election results were questionable. Fred said he thinks that he did that for the good of the country so they'd have a President. Howard said that they're finally counting some absentee ballots in this senator thing. He said that he'd like to see Al win but who knows.
Howard said he was looking at Mike Gange's Facebook page. He said that he wrote about going to Puerto Rico and now he's out sick. Howard read his posts from Sunday about heading home. By Tuesday he was home sick. Howard said that they rely on the guy to be there at work because the staff is so small. Now he's out sick after being on vacation.
Howard said he was thinking about the local NBC station and how Len Berman was one of the guys who had been there forever. He said that they just fired the guy. He said that he heard that Chuck Scarborough was going to be tapped to be their national guy but the local station wanted to keep him because they make so much money with him.
Howard said that Len was ''the guy'' for sports but now there are so many news outlets that no one watches the local news. Howard said that he can't tell you the last time he watched the local news himself. Now he gets his news at other places. He said that things are changing so fast that it's putting these places out of business. Howard said that TV is getting fragmented because of this stuff too.
Gary said that the newspapers are really hurting and a lot of magazines are going to go out of business too. Howard said that if the NY Times goes out of business that's going to be a big blow to the newspapers out there. He said that it's the end of newspapers if they fold.
Gary said he gets all of his news online now so he rarely reads the newspapers. Fred said that they're just going to hire young people cheaper on the local news channels now. Howard said that Len Berman should show up somewhere on TV eventually.
Gary told Howard that they have a TV show on tonight where they take stars and stick them in regular jobs as an April Fool's day joke. Howard said he has no interest in that.
Howard read that President Obama is over in England to meet with the Queen. He said that they were saying that Bush and Clinton didn't have too much luck over there when they did inappropriate things. He said that Bush winked at the queen and Clinton was doing some strange stuff too.
Howard said that Clinton got into trouble for getting people into events to meet these people. He kind of networks with people that way. Howard said that Obama and his wife are trying to figure out the right way to do things over there now.
Howard had a guy on the phone who knew who Underdog's arch nemesis was. The guy said it was Simon Barsinister. The caller said the guy looked kind of like Eric the Midget.
Howard asked Robin who says anything negative about her appearance. Robin said that Lisa once told her to get a new hairdo. Howard asked if Lisa has bad skin. Robins said it's not bad but the detox can make it more vibrant.
Howard said that Robin would get so upset if someone said something like that about her skin. Robin said she would like it and that would get her on the diet. Howard said he's not sure how he missed that moment. Artie said it was pretty funny.
Howard said saying something like that to a woman is really harsh. Howard asked Robin what else Lisa should fix. Robin said that if Lisa is happy with herself then it's fine. Howard asked Robin why she's perfect. Robin said she's not perfect, she's still working at it.
Howard said he can't believe he missed that one. He asked Robin how she got that in there. Robin said she realized she got it in and Howard missed it. Fred said that Lisa was talking about people losing weight so fast and that's when she got in that dig.
Howard said that Robin is going around telling people what's proper and she was getting mad at Lisa for doing the same thing. Robin said that Lisa has never been fat so she has nothing to base her assumptions on. Fred said that it might be genetic. Artie said that her sisters have nice skin.
Lisa said that the only thing that will make her skin glow is sex and that's not happening now. Howard asked Lisa if she heard Robin get in that dig at her earlier. Lisa said that she thinks that she could have better skin but that was pretty rough when Robin said that about her.
Lisa said that Beth has gorgeous skin and she just doesn't have that same thing in her DNA. Howard asked Robin what it was that Lisa said to her that upset her so much. Robin said it was early on when she said that she could get a new hairdo. Lisa was also saying that Artie looked very tired this morning and she knows that was wrong too.
Artie told Lisa that he would fuck her. He said that if she goes on the detox thing then he'll fuck her. Lisa wasn't interested in that. Artie told her that she could find a guy to bang no problem. Lisa said that she needs some suggestions on where to go.
Howard asked Lisa if anyone ever asks her out. Lisa said that she doesn't meet anyone. Howard said that there are tons of guys there at SIRIUS. She said that she hasn't dated in a while now. She said it's been about a year. Lisa said that she needs her life and she's not going out anywhere.
Howard asked Lisa if anyone has asked her out to get a bite to eat. She said that she doesn't have anyone asking her out. Howard said that maybe it's her skin. Lisa said that her skin isn't that great. Artie said that she's a little pale and scaly.
Lisa asked Howard to help her out and set her up with someone. Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man is available. Artie said that Dan is a poon hound after all.
Howard said that Ross' friend Mike Portnoy is available. Howard asked her if she wanted to go out with him. Lisa said that if Howard likes him then she might go out with him.
Gary said that he has the 12 seconds of Robin talking about Lisa's skin. Howard played that because he missed it earlier. Robin said that Lisa's skin could be better and it wasn't just her skin but other things that could be better if she went on that detox diet.
Lisa was thinking that she might need botox or something. Lisa was getting upset when she saw the Howard TV guys zooming in on her face too close. She covered up so they couldn't get it.
Howard said that Mike might be a good guy for her but Lisa said that her hours are kind of strange so she's not sure if it would work out. Howard said if it depends on the schedule then he's the man for her.
Howard said that he could set Robin up with someone too but he's afraid that she'd hate the guy and then stop being his friend. Robin said that she has done that to guys before. Howard said that's why he won't hook her up. Lisa said that she was going to go kill herself after this. She sounded like she was joking. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that Doug Stanhope was there. He said that Bingo wasn't with him today. He said that she's mentally challenged and she's heavily medicated these days so she's not as much fun. Doug said that she's not as much fun and he's realized that she's just kind of dopey.
Howard asked Doug where he lives. He said he's still in Arizona where he's been for a while now. He said that he used to hang out up in Alaska a lot. He said that it was great up there in the bars but now they've decimated the whole thing and they have cops going into the bar and busting people. He said he's not sure why it is and even the people up there aren't sure why that is.
Doug said that you used to be able to get really good, clean ecstasy up there but now they're cleaning up the state. Doug said that he'd go up there just to party. Doug said that he'd go up there in the middle of summer and he'd be driving around at 3 in the morning without his headlights on because it says light out.
Doug said that he's down to doing just one day a week of comedy. He said that he was just feeling shitty about doing so much of it in the past and he feels much better now that he's cut back. Doug said he's cut back on the drugs too and he'll only do coke once in a while now.
Howard said that Doug's girlfriend, Bingo, has grown her hair out. Howard said that she looked good even with it shaved off. He said that she was one of the very few women that looked good with her hair cut off.
Doug said that Bingo had to go back into a mental institution for a little while. He said that she was the only functioning crazy in that place though because they live in such a rural area.
Doug said that he got married to a woman when he was 20 years old as a joke. He said that she was seriously psycho and her name wasn't even real. Howard said that he should divorce her because she might come out and try to get his money. Doug said that he doesn't think any of it was legal so he's not worried about it.
Doug said that Bingo is one of the most rational people he knows. He said that it doesn't make sense that they call her crazy.
Doug said that Bingo's meds cost a ridiculous amount of money a month. He said that she's on a few things and they do make her very normal. He said that she doesn't walk down the street talking to a banana like it's a phone. That's what used to happen.
Howard said he remembered the story they told about her having sex with a guy who supplied them coke. He said that was his favorite story they told.
Howard said that Will told him to ask Doug about this threesome that he had with Ginger Lynn and Bingo. Howard said he heard that Doug did it just to have something to talk about on the show. Doug said that Ginger is 46 years old and she looks good for her age. Doug said that she's cool as shit. He said that they were co-hosting a poker tournament together so that's how he met her.
Doug said that he had the threesome about 3 weeks ago and it was ghastly. He said that he'd suggest doing that back in 1983 with someone like that.
Artie mentioned that he was on Lithium at one time and they cost like $28 per pill. Doug said that's one of the tings that Bingo is on.
Howard asked Doug about what went on with Ginger Lynn and how that all worked. Doug said that it was a weekend and coke really helps people become attracted to one another. Doug said that he knows a tittie bar owner and he had met her at this one club. He said that she was looking pretty hot. Most of the girls in the clubs just have that glazed over look on their face.
Doug said that they were staying in the same hotel with Ginger so that made it easier too. Doug said that they went up to their room with the blow that they had gotten. Doug said that Ginger just wanted to hang out with them so they took her back up to the room. Doug said Bingo was getting panicked about the whole thing and she was trying to talk herself down. Doug said that he knows that it's just a matter of time before they do something when she gets like that.
Doug said that Ginger and Bingo ended up talking for two and a half hours. They had to make some kind of connection. Doug said they were taking turns pacing around the room during that discussion.
Doug said that Ginger still has a pretty good body for a 46 year old. He said her tits were pretty good for that age too.
Doug told Howard that his jokes always go to a sexual place and that's how they end up getting into that stuff. Doug said that the girls started in with each other and he watched them. He said he knew he was useless there. Doug said that Bingo did coke off of Ginger's pussy.
Howard asked Doug why he doesn't have a problem with coke like some people do. Doug said that he can just do a little and walk away. Artie said that when he was at his worst it wasn't every day. He would disappear for 5 days at a time once a month though.
Howard asked about Bingo and Ginger Lynn going down on each other. Doug said that Bingo made ginger Lynn come twice. Howard said that she must be good.
Doug said that Bingo let him know that she had faked it on the Sybian the day she rode it. Howard said that was a great Sybian ride too.
Doug said that Ginger had asked Bingo if she fakes her orgasms and she started to say that she fakes them all the time. He said that she kept repeating it over and over again too. Doug said he wasn't upset about that because he knows he's bad in bed. He said the older he gets the worse he is.
Howard said it must have been hot watching his girl doing it with another woman. Doug said that was hot. He said that he eventually got into it but kept some of his clothes on. Doug said that he put it into Bingo and only into Ginger's face for a short time until she saw it was fruitless.
Doug said that it's hard to have a threesome with your girlfriend. He said that you have to look at her the next day so it's rough. Doug said that Ginger Lynn was playing with his balls while he was banging Bingo. He said that ginger was kind of being a coach during sex and telling them what to do.
Doug said that Ginger didn't know how to play poker so after they did their thing Bingo was teaching her how to play. Doug said that the sex and the teaching of poker were equally as entertaining to Bingo.
Howard asked if he thinks that this threesome thing will ever happen again. Doug said he doesn't think it will. He said that's the whole point of doing a threesome, you never think you're going to do it again.
Doug said that Ginger Lynn thinks that Howard hates her. Howard said that he really doesn't though. He's not sure where that comes from. Howard said he saw an article about Patrice O'Neal where he said that he's at war with him. Howard said that he didn't know he was at war with him.
Howard read the article about Patrice and he had said something about ''Who is that fat comedian who comes on and goes to the whore houses...'' and Artie said it was Patrice. Howard said that insulted Patrice that he didn't know his name. Howard said that he sometimes forgets names doing a radio show 5 hours a day. Howard said that Patrice has been going on Opie and Anthony only since then. Howard said he doesn't care what shows the guy goes on and he really didn't know he was at war with the guy. Doug thought it was funny that Howard has google alerts being e-mailed to him. Howard said he loves that and Doug should do the same thing.
Howard asked Doug if Ginger put a finger up his ass. Doug said that nothing like that was going on. Howard said he liked his story and the fact that Doug went out and did that so he'd have something to talk about on the show.
Howard gave Doug some plugs for some upcoming gigs he had. You can find out more at DougStanhope.com
Doug told Howard that he really doesn't go out to do comedy clubs anymore. He goes out to Rock and Roll clubs instead and they're better than the comedy clubs. He can make better money doing that. He said that he kind of likes it when the people are just doing what they want and not sitting there in a theater with their hands folded.
Howard said he's kind of worried about Doug. He heard that he's drinking just about every day. Doug said he's been doing that for most of his life. He said that he doesn't drink in the morning, he'll start in the afternoon. He said that he'll only have two beers before a show because he knows the shots are going to come to the mic pretty quick. Doug said that he doesn't think that he's an alcoholic. He said that he could stop drinking but he chooses not to.
Doug said that he stopped drinking a few weeks ago because he was sick and he didn't get the DTs or anything. Howard asked him if he's trying to kill himself. Doug said he's not. He quit smoking for a year at one point but then he got back into it when he went on vacation. He said he's been off and on for the past couple of months.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Doug to tell a story about riding around in a jeep and getting a $15 blow job. Doug said he told that story the first time he was on the show. Howard remembered hearing that story. He got the blow job from a transvestite.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said that he hates calling in twice but he thinks that it's not right to throw Ginger Lynn under the bus in front of millions of people. Doug said that he let her know that this was going on Stern so she must have known. Melrose said that he has banged 15-25 porno stars and he would never name them on the air. Howard said that he doesn't believe Melrose at all. Melrose swore on his mother's life that he had but he wouldn't mention their names.
Howard asked Melrose who he banged. Melrose didn't want to mention any names. Artie said he thinks that Melrose just banged one porn start who weighed a ton, not tons of porn stars. Melrose was upset with Doug for talking about Ginger Lynn the way he was. Doug said he didn't say anything bad about her.
Howard said he heard a story about Doug that he can't tell on the air. He said that the story is insane but they just can't talk about it. Doug said that he didn't want to ''Crazy Cabbie'' himself so that's why he's not going to talk about it. Doug said he's going to wait until the statute of limitations is up on that.
Howard gave Doug some more plugs. Doug said that he just finished Artie's book, ''Too Fat To Fish,'' and it was really good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he just saw Doug's comedy special on Showtime and he's hysterical. Artie said that it really is good.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that the interview is good. The guy asked about getting tickets out there in Hollywood. Doug told him that the tickets are for sale on BrownPaperTickets.com.
Another caller said that the Osbourne's show got blocked down in Florida where he lives. Howard said that's odd. The guy said he thought it was going to be on around Midnight down there but it never did come on. Gary said that they blacked it out in some areas but from what he saw he's not sure what content they were worried about.
Doug found it odd that he fielded calls like that from the fans. Howard told him that Ozzy was just on the show the other day so that's why the guy had wanted to tune in to see it. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what happened to those dudes from Outkast. Robin said that one of the guys was busted for speeding not too long ago. Howard said that was Andre 3000. Howard said that they were supposed to be the next music geniuses. He thought that they were going to be the next big thing. He heard that they hated each other and they had some weird falling out.
Howard said he had a station in Milwaukee that didn't play the Osbourne's show. They said that they had a local guy on American Idol and they felt the content of that show was more appropriate for later in the evening. They put on an anti-drug program instead.
Howard said that he used to do drugs because he hated living at home with his parents. He talked about the way he and his friends would get high and sit in the back yard of his house while his mother told them stories about the holocaust. Howard said that his mom thinks that he's lying about doing drugs but he was just very good at hiding it.
Howard said that his parents were too worried about themselves to worry about what he was up to. Howard did an impression of his mother telling him stories about how tough their lives were. He told the stories about them not having antibiotics and stuff like that.
Howard stayed in character for a few minutes and told a bunch of stories that his mother told him. Howard said that if he did tell her that he was on drugs she wouldn't have believed him. He said that she thought he had it too good and would tell him about how awful her life was. Howard said that Robin would have done drugs if she had to hear those stories too. Howard said he should have OD'd based on what he heard.
Howard said that to get to sleep he has to heard holocaust stories. He joked that Beth reads ''Mein Kampf'' to him every night to get him to sleep. Howard said that he used to leave the house to go to an all black high school. He said the fun never stopped for him.
Howard said that he used to walk into the house tripping and his parents had no idea. Robin said that anything is better than those stories. Howard said that they all made it through that stuff and they're as happy as clams now.
Howard said that it was rough growing up for his parents. According to them he had no problems. He continued to make fun of the stories his mother would tell. He made up a few stories saying that his mother had to play with a shit doll when she was growing up.
Howard said he's pretty sure that no one is playing Dolly's music these days anyway. He said that she'd probably want to suck him off in a second if he met her. Howard said that Cloris Leachman loved him. He said that dolly looks good but he's not sure how old she is. Howard said she has to be older than in her 60s. Gary said that he looked it up and she was 63. Howard didn't believe that was her real age. Howard said he can't wait to hear her song.
Eric the Midget called in and said that it was an April Fool's joke earlier. He said that it was all his idea though and no one else helped him. He said he was upset with Howard for thinking he couldn't come up with a joke himself. Howard said the joke was lame. Eric said ''No it wasn't!'' Howard was trying to help him out by blaming Johnny but he blew it.
Robin asked Eric if he thought that anyone bought it. Eric said he's not sure. Howard said that he believes that Eric came up with the idea. He thanked Eric for the call and told him that he's not going to give him that $1,000 from earlier either. He said he blew it earlier. Howard said that Eric is supposed to have a meeting with the guy who does The Bachelor show. He said that's not a joke either.
Steve said that he went over to High Pitch Eric's apartment yesterday and saw the condition of it. He said that it appeared to be trashed. Eric is supposed to be getting evicted soon.
Howard talked about how Ryan Seacrest is doing the top 40 countdown show now and he must be making a lot of money. Howard said that he's such a no talent and he's making that kind of money. He said his hat is off to him.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran through his list of subjects for today's show. They ended up talking about Lisa G's bad skin for a short time.
Artie said that he wanted to get a bunch of racist domain names and then wait for the racist groups offering him big money for them.
Fred checked some racist domain names to see if they had anything out there. Fred looked up some N-word domains and said that there weren't many out there. The sites they did find were kind of lame with dopey pictures and stuff. They went through a few and checked them out.
Robin read a story about a priest who used lemon flavored cola to do a baptism for a kid when his water wast turned off due to freezing temperatures.
Robin had a story about the woman who was attacked by the chimpanzee a couple of months ago. She's up and moving around and responding to people.
Robin read about the conficker virus and how it was supposed to wreak havoc with computers but nothing is really happening with it. Howard said he can't play his iTunes. He wondered if that virus had gotten to his computer.
Robin read a story about a couple of immigrants that were killed at the apartment of a former NY Jets team player. They're still investigating how they ended up there and ended up dead.
Robin read a story about some prisoners in Brazil who have figured out a way to smuggle in cell phones. They're using carrier pigeons.
Robin had some news about the Plaxico Burress shooting incident. That's going to court but it's been postponed.
Robin read that Carlos Santana is moving to Las Vegas. He's going to have a regular show out there. Robin also had stories about last night's American Idol. She had some audio clips from the show. Howard spent a little time talking about how bad the performances were last night.
Robin read a story about the actor who played the demon in ''Angel'' has died. She read about how they found him dead. She also had a story about a funeral home that's offering online grief counseling.
Robin read some stuff about some content that's going to be available for downloading to phones. Howard said that Doug Hurwitt was showing him his phone yesterday but he had never heard of it. He said that he didn't want to get involved with it but he may look into it. He said it was nice with the slide out keyboard and stuff but he wasn't even sure what the brand was.
Gary said that it was the HTC Touch Pro. Howard said he didn't know a lot about it. He said that it was running Microsoft but Hurwitt said that it wasn't that bad. Fred said that he heard that the keyboard is kind of flimsy and it operates a little slow. Howard said he's not going to test it then.
Robin read a story about Howard K. Stern's court case coming up. Howard said he hopes they give him the death penalty so he doesn't have to hear about that guy anymore.
Robin read some news about Bernie Madoff. She read through that and said that the whole family could get into trouble.
Howard said that a lot of people saw David Spade on American Idol and people think they saw him sticking his gum under his seat and walking off the show because he wasn't getting on camera.
Robin had some news about the GM reorganizing and some new deals they have coming out to sell some cars. Robin said that they're extending warranties and things like that.
Robin read some news about the Special Olympics and had some audio of a woman talking about how you're not supposed to use the R-word to describe the people playing. Howard said he was going to change Gary the Retard to Gary the Special Person but it didn't have that ring.
Robin had some economy news and read that things aren't looking good for this year but possibly next year. Robin also had some audio of people talking about President Obama giving hope to the country and to the world.
Robin had some audio of Vin Diesel talking about the new Fast and the Furious movie. Howard played some of that and goofed on Vin about all of his awful movies. They also talked about how he takes that stuff too seriously.
Robin had some audio of Miley Cyrus talking about her Hanna Montana movie. Howard said that she'll probably make over $100 million with that movie.
Robin read some other movie news and played some other audio clips from various people. She had some audio of John Stamos talking about the end of E.R. as well. She wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.
Jon said that it was such a quick mention that Howard didn't even hear it. Gary said Howard didn't know about it until he talked to him about it during the break. Jon played the clip but it wasn't the right one. They didn't have Robin's comment about Lisa's skin.
Lisa said that she doesn't remember making any comments about Robin's hair like she said she had. She wasn't sure where that came from. Gary said that Lisa doesn't seem to have an axe to grind with anyone. Lisa said she has no reason to, she's very happy there.
Gary said that there are people there who have conflicts all the time but Lisa doesn't seem to get into it that much with anyone. Jon said that she does get into it with Artie sometimes. Lisa said that Artie looked terrible today and she had to say something. Gary said that he's been around that weight for a while now. Lisa said today was really bad.
Lisa said that she told Artie what she thought and said that she is very concerned for him. She said that she's really not believing anything that he says these days. She said that she doesn't believe that he's going to the shrink or anything.
Teddy said that Artie has been really upbeat lately when he's seen him. Lisa said that she's very concerned about him but it's not her place to say anything to him.
Lisa said that she doesn't know what to do because she knows that it's not her place to say anything. She said that Artie won't even stop for her when she tries to talk to him. She said that she feels better now that she's gotten that off her chest.
Jon said that Robin was saying that she has hung out with Lisa before. Lisa said she never got upset with not getting to hang out with Robin and her girls night out group or anything. She said she was kind of upset that they didn't do another fund raiser this year.
Lisa said that she thinks that Robin doesn't enjoy that people make fun of her diet. She said that if it works for her then it's terrific. She said that she doesn't think that Robin is crazy or anything. She said that Robin seemed to be in a lot of pain before the diet. Gary said that he didn't spend that much time around her off the air back then so he didn't know.
Gary said that he saw Jon talking to Fred today and he wondered what they talk about because he hardly speaks to Fred sometimes. He said that weeks can go by when they don't talk.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Lisa would want to replace Robin. Lisa said that she would like a position like that but not Robin's job. She said that she can't hold a candle to Robin and she would never be able to replace her.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Jon about taking Robin up on the diet offer. Jon said that there is no way he would ever go on that diet. He said he just couldn't do it. He said that he just can't do it with that diet plan. Jon said that it's great that it works for people but it's really just not for him.
Lisa was saying that she thinks that they should stop picking on Artie on the show. Gary asked her if she knows what show she works for. Lisa said that Artie needs help and it's not helping him anymore and it's making him more depressed. Gary said that they've stoped talking about him lately so they're letting it be.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary seems to be pretty honest with people and maybe it's time to tell Lisa that she comes off like a nut. Gary said she's really not one though. The caller said that she isn't one but that's the way it comes off on the show.
Gary asked Lisa if she's ever had a one night stand. Lisa said that she had. Gary was surprised by that. Lisa said that she is different now than she was in the past. She said that she's very happy she grew up the way she did and became who she is. She said that it would have been nice if she was that way in the past.
Lisa said that she woke up at some point and she got her shit together. She said she's not even sure what caused that.
The caller asked the guys if they think that Lisa is going to be that lady with 60 cats when she gets older. Lisa said that she already thinks about that.
Lisa said that she has no hard feelings toward Robin at all. Gary said he thought it was odd for Robin to take a shot at her skin today. Lisa said that she tries to take care of herself and she's not sure if people can see that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's sick of Lisa G's voice. He said that she's like one of those girls that always wants attention. Jon said that she was gone now so they wouldn't be hearing her anymore today.
Benjy was saying that dropping weight quickly isn't so bad, it's the up and down thing with weight that's bad for your heart. Jon thanked him for that and moved on to Richard and Sal.
Richard came in and said that he has bad skin too. He was talking about how fat he's gotten lately and how he's had a beer gut for a long time now. Richard said he's going to be having a good time on his 35th birthday today. he's going to a concert and he'll be eating that pizza today.
Richard was talking about some of the great stuff they have at Papa John's. He told Gary to try it out if he ever gets a chance. Richard said it's a million times better than a Domino's pizza.
Jon said that Howard gave Richard and Sal some suggestions on how to class up their act by not selling their stuff. Richard said he was making good points and they were just trying out some new ideas so they'll probably put a stop to the picture thing. He said that they'll probably still sell some t-shirts. He said that they'll leave a couple of designs up and maybe take some down. He said that he thinks that they discontinued the ''I love Tradio'' shirts already.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he sells t-shirts for a living and he can make good money doing that. He said that Artie sells them too and Howard has never called him out on it. Gary said that Artie was already a comedian when he joined the show so he wouldn't bother him about that kind of stuff. Gary said that he thinks that Howard has never done it so if someone is an extension of the show, and they're doing that, he's going to call them out on it. Gary said that their stuff is almost like what the fans would go for if they can't get an official shirt from the show. The caller thought it was kind of weird that Howard would go off on them for that stuff.
Jon took a call from the photographer that takes the pictures at Sal and Richard's shows. He said that he was thinking that it's not that big of a deal to do what they're doing. He said that it's no different than what Gary does when he goes out and does appearances. Gary said that it is different because they're charging for something and asking the fans to pay more for something after they've paid to see the show already.
Jon said that Sal and Richard have never turned down a photograph with the fans. The caller, Joel, said that he knows that and he'll even take a picture for someone if they want to use their own phone and they don't charge for that. Joel said that this is just something more personalized than the usual picture. He said that they don't have to buy it, they don't charge for autographs.
Jon said that Howard always makes fun of the Rush Limbaugh stuff and Bill O'Reilly stuff. That's the same kind of stuff that Sal and Richard are starting to do on their site and that's why he was giving them the advice this morning.
Joel said that this is no different than if there was a photographer at a soccer game or something. Richard said that out in Kansas there are people who fly airplanes around and take pictures of your house. He said that his parents have one of those hanging in their living room. Gary sounded like he was shocked that anyone would buy something like that.
Gary said that the fans going to Sal and Richard's show are paying to get into the show, paying for drinks and then being asked to pay for pictures. The pictures are optional though.
Another caller said that Gary has his web site up and there are tons of grammatical errors and stuff and maybe that reflects poorly on the show as well. Gary said that he let someone type that in so maybe he'll have to go back and look it over again.
Another guy said that he knows about those pictures that Richard was talking about. He said he never had one himself but he has heard about them. The guy was also talking about Richard's self image and self esteem and how amazing it is that it all just rolls off his back.
Sal came in and said that he had to sit behind Will this morning when Richard brought that stinky food into their office today. Sal said that the smell was just awful. He said he likes that kind of food at 7 at night, not at 6 in the morning. Sal said that food smelled like cheese wrapped in shit.
Jon asked Sal why he's so exhausted. Sal said he's been working hard lately and he blames himself for that. He said he's behind the 8 ball right now. He said he's getting a financial planner next week and trying to get things straightened out in his life.
Gary said that Sal is never happy with the money that he's trying to make. He said he was happy with what he was getting paid when he started and now he got some notoriety and he's trying to make more and more. Sal said that he keeps working harder and harder and he still never has any money in his bank account.
Gary said that he tried to give Sal some advice and he's still not making any headway. Jon asked Sal if it's his wife spending the money. Sal said that he has a very simple lifestyle and he even stopped eating out because he was doing that a lot. Sal said that they don't eat out that much anymore. Now his wife wants a Mercedes SUV. Sal said that he looked up the truck in Consumer Reports and it was rated the worst. His wife still wants it even though he wants a Honda. He said that she insists on the Mercedes. He said that she said that if it breaks down she knows she'll be driving another Mercedes.
Jon told Sal that he has to put his foot down because he's the one with the money coming in. Gary said that his first priority is to pay off the credit cards. Sal said he has 6 or 7 of them now. Sal said that he had his card declined yesterday when he tried to spend 20 bucks upgrading his seat on Jet Blue.
Gary told Sal that he should have one credit card. He said that they should all be moved to one card with the lowest financing rate. Sal said that he can't even keep track of that stuff because they have so many cards.
Sal said that his wife does all of the bills and he's not sure how she works it all out. Gary told him that he has to figure out what's going on. Sal said that he doesn't want to do the bills. Jason told him he has to know what's going out.
Gary and Jon said that they take care of the bills. Jason said that he and his wife go back and forth on that stuff but he wants to take control of it all. Jon had to go to break after that.
Jason asked Richard if he brushes his teeth before he makes love. Richard said that he does that when he's home.
Richard had a family emergency this morning when one of his pet catfish died. He was near tears talking about the fish. He said that he was attached to the thing even though it was only about 2 months old. Richard said that he and his girlfriend were looking at the fish last night because it had a growth on it. He said he took it out and pet it telling it that it was going to be okay. Benjy cracked up and told Richard that he probably killed the fish by doing that.
Jason told Richard that those fish don't last long so he's setting himself up for disaster buying them. Richard said Doug Goodstein had a goldfish that lived for 10 years. He said that this one was Catfishy 2. Catfishy is still alive. He said that they have other names like Pink, Purple and things like that for the other types of fish they have.
Richard said that he's good friends with the guy who owns the pet store. He said that it's going to be hard to find another fish like this one because it cleaned the tank so well.
Richard said that he wasn't able get the fish out of the tank this morning but his girlfriend is taking care of it so they can have a funeral today. Richard sounded like he was about to cry as he was talking about this. Richard said that the fish will come up to his face when he looks in the tank. They're going to try and teach some of them to do tricks and stuff.
Richard said it was such a bummer to have the fish die on his birthday. Sal said that maybe it was an April fools joke that the fish was playing. Richard said that it turned white so he's not sure how he could do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he can't believe that Richard is signing his autograph with the 423 thing. Richard said that he thinks it's cool that Sal has that ''143'' thing going and he wants to have something like that. The guys told Richard that he could use a lot of other things. Richard said he used to use ''Cheers'' but that takes too long to sign. Sal said the 143 thing is very easy for him to use and it's a way for him to say he loves the fans.
Sal said that the first time he went into the studio he got autographs from everyone and Howard even drew a picture in his copy of Private Parts. He said that Howard doesn't do that all the time. He said that the only person who wouldn't sign it was Fred. He still hasn't signed it to this day. Sal said that Fred looks at him like the Stuttering John guy there on the show and he still refuses to sign it.
Richard said it was great when Howard and Jackie used to draw pictures of Gary. He asked if they kept them or threw them away. Gary said that Howard has all of that stuff, he doesn't throw anything away. Some day they may end up in the Howard Stern Museum.
Jason suggested that Richard use ''Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu'' as his autograph. Richard said that's too long.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that maybe ''Catfishy 2'' died of embarrassment from the name. Richard said that's not it at all. Gary said that Richard was really upset about it and was near tears when he told him about the fish dying this morning. Richard said they decided to get fish because they're easier to take care of when they're out on the road.
Another caller said that Richard should just use ''Heyyyyy'' as his tag line. Richard said that he's not sure how he would spell it. Gary told him to spell it ''Heyyyyy'' instead of just ''Hey'' or ''Hay.'' Richard liked that idea so he may just do that.
Jon asked Sal if it gets to him when Howard starts getting after him about his wife. Sal said that he doesn't want to reveal too much about his marriage, he's trying to fix it right now. He said that taping her yelling at him secretly was wrong so he's trying not to make things worse. Sal said he's really trying to fix it right now. Jason told Sal that having an emotional friend behind your husband's back is probably worse than taping his wife. Sal responded to that saying that one is from a dick, one sucks a dick. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about the exciting show they had. They have Joe Frazier coming in. Howard said that he was 10 times the man that Muhammad Ali was. Howard said that he was the true hero, not Ali. Howard told Robin that she has to watch a special that HBO has coming up. He said that you learn that Ali was a monster in the special. Robin didn't like hearing that. She's a huge Ali fan.
Howard told Robin that Frazier was a man of the people and Ali never did anything but be Muhammad Ali. Howard said that Joe was trying to find his way in life and this guy Ali went out and called Frazier a gorilla.
Howard said that Ali went to a Klan meeting one time and said that he wanted to see the races separated and even hung out with the Klan because he believed in what they were doing. Robin said that Ali was a separatist and he did do stuff like that.
Howard played some clips from this HBO special where they talked about how Ali turned on his friend Joe Frazier when he got back into the ring. He had been his friend before he got out there to fight. In the clips Ali was saying that Frazier was an ''Uncle Tom'' and he was hanging out with the enemy.
Robin was defending her hero over the stuff that was being said in this special. Howard played some more clips of Ali talking about what he was going to do to Frazier. That's when he made the gorilla comment about Frazier. They said he even had a little rubber gorilla doll that he pulled out at this press conference. Howard said that white people loved seeing that because he was turning on his own race.
Howard and Robin were going back and forth arguing about how Frazier did against Ali. Howard said that the guy talking about all of this stuff in those clips was Ali. Robin said that Ali is paying for his mistakes now and Howard added that it's Karma getting him.
Howard said that the white washed Ali's career to make people like Robin believe in him. He was calling him by his real name Cassius Clay and said that he would take him on and fight him now.
Howard said that Joe was the best because he told Ali not to call him those names and he didn't take any crap from the guy. Robin said that she likes Joe too and Howard really has no idea what it's like to be black. Howard said he knows.
Howard played more of the Ali audio clips where Ali was talking about how he was visiting Joe Frazier every day in the zoo. Howard said that was wrong for him to do that. Robin said that Ali was the one making the fight worth watching by doing stuff like that.
Robin said that Ali was afraid of losing to Frazier and he was just trying to get under his skin. Howard said that he shouldn't have used race to get under his skin. Howard said that he would never do something like that to another man.
Howard played more clips from the special where they talked about Ali going to Klan meetings. He made a speech at a Klan rally one time too. They had some audio of Ali talking about how he believes that blacks should be with blacks and whites should be with whites. He even said that the Klan joked around with him and pretended that they were going to string him up at a meeting and then told him they were just kidding.
Robin said that Howard going off on this simple man this way is wrong. She said that this documentary was made by white people. She said that they're not pointing out that this whole thing happened in a time when the whole society was very racist. She said that Ali was a simple man.
Gary asked Robin if she thinks that Daniel Carver is a simple man. Robin said that people in the KKK are dumb and they think they have some solution for how to run your life. She said that she could related to Ali because he wasn't perfect. She said that he was brave.
Robin was saying that Howard was using this in the wrong way. She told him not to try and brain wash her. She said that she knows that Howard is going to try and rile Joe up again in this interview today. Howard said that they love having Joe in. Robin told him to stop trying to demonize Ali. She said that he doesn't need Howard being his judge.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks that Hitler was just a painter with a strange agenda. Robin said that he was a crazy man. Howard said that Joe had a family and Ali was bad mouthing him in public and ridiculing him. Robin said that she has been ridiculed in her life for working with Howard. Howard asked her who has done that. Robin said that the woman who runs Ebony magazine and just about any other black organization out there does that. She said they all shun her. Robin said that she has been called the same names that Joe was called.
Howard said that the real hero is going to come through the door of that studio today. Howard asked Fred what he thought. Fred said that he thinks that Howard is being overly simplistic with this. He thinks that it was gamesmanship. Robin agreed with Fred.
Gary came in and said that there's one interesting part of this relationship that Ali and Frazier had. He said that when Ali couldn't get a fight, Frazier went out and gave him some money so he could try and get back in. Then Ali turned on him. Robin said it wasn't that simple and they were raised in a society that's crazy and he has no idea what that's like.
Howard said that he's going to make Robin and Fred face the wall during this interview. He said that they're both out of their minds. Fred and Robin were agreeing on a lot of stuff about Joe so Howard was going to make them sit it out.
Robin said that Howard is still trying to separate the black people and she's the ''Uniter.'' Robin said that racism turns people against themselves. Robin said that Howard was like mas'er making them face the wall today. Howard told Robin and Fred that they could sing some spirituals today instead.
After playing the clip Fred said that he really didn't remember that and he's not sure why Sal thinks he doesn't like him. He said that he doesn't look at Sal like he's a Stuttering John type like he said in that clip.
That led to Howard talking about how Stuttering John has this new web site up where he does sketches. He said that they're comedy sketches and they're not very good. Howard said that they're really not funny. He said that it's like John creating a television presence for himself and it's not all that great. Howard said that he thinks it's like JohnMelendez.tv or something like that.
Howard said that he has one clip where he's singing to his son and it's just horrible lyrics. Howard said that it's obvious that the kid wasn't actually there when he was doing it but it was very disturbing. Howard told Robin she has to watch this clip.
Howard said that there are three episodes up and one is more bizarre than the next. He said he's not sure what John is up to but he thinks that it might be frustration about not being used enough on The Tonight Show. He said John thought they were going to use him more on the show than they do. He said that he's surprised that Jay hasn't asked him to remove that site.
Howard wondered what Jay thought about John's movie. Fred said he heard that Jay ducked out the back door as soon as he saw it.
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Howard said that's not Lisa's job to do that. He said he thought that Artie was looking pretty good this week and he thinks he's just trying to work things out. Robin asked what Lisa's relationship is with Artie where she thinks she has to comment on him like that. Fred said that she could ask him if he needed anyone to talk to and suggest that instead.
Howard pointed out that Artie is running late again this morning. Robin said that he must be ''dancin'' again. Howard said that maybe Lisa got him depressed and that's why he can't get up in the morning.
Howard said that Lisa was on the Wrap Up Show trying to convince people that she was crazy when she was younger. He played some of those audio clips. Howard said he doesn't believe that for a minute. In the clip Gary asked Lisa if she had a one night stand and she said she had. Gary thought that was crazy. Howard cut it off and said that Lisa probably didn't expect it to be a one night stand, the guy probably just left.
Gary said that he tried to give Sal some advice and he's still not making any headway. Jon asked Sal if it's his wife spending the money. Sal said that he has a very simple lifestyle and he even stopped eating out because he was doing that a lot. Sal said that they don't eat out that much anymore. Now his wife wants a Mercedes SUV. Sal said that he looked up the truck in Consumer Reports and it was rated the worst. His wife still wants it even though he wants a Honda. He said that she insists on the Mercedes. He said that she said that if it breaks down she knows she'll be driving another Mercedes.
Jon told Sal that he has to put his foot down because he's the one with the money coming in. Gary said that his first priority is to pay off the credit cards. Sal said he has 6 or 7 of them now. Sal said that he had his card declined yesterday when he tried to spend 20 bucks upgrading his seat on Jet Blue.
Howard asked Sal if he gets what it's like to have credit cards outstanding like that. Sal said he knows. He said that there are some with 33 percent financing rates on them. Howard said he has to tell his wife that they're never going to get anywhere if they don't pay that down. Sal said that his truck broke down yesterday so he really has to get a new one now. He said that Wayne Segal is going to help him out with that.
Howard said that Christine doesn't get it. He said he's not sure that Sal gets it either. Sal said he does. He said that he owes about $55,000 right now on credit cards. Howard said that he's paying 33 percent on that money too. Fred sounded shocked when he was asked to figure out how much he's paying on that. Fred said that it might be $1,500 a month. Howard said that he thinks that it's about $18,000. He said that's just the interest. Howard said that he has to pay that off. Sal said he also has a home equity loan and he's going to refinance that so he can pay off all of this horse shit.
Sal said that he's the average American man. Howard said that he's really not. He said that Sal owes about $200,000 a year before he pays off the principle. Howard said that Sal has to give all of the money he makes at the comedy shows and pay off those bills. Sal said that his wife tells him that's what she's doing.
Howard asked Sal why he's not writing the checks for this stuff. Sal said he's too busy doing other stuff and can't be bothered. Howard told Sal that he owes it to his sons to get this under control and pay this shit off. He said that he has to take control of that stuff.
Howard told Sal that he's dumb. Sal said that he's not but Howard told him that he's paying $200,000 in interest alone. Robin said that Howard is right and she just figured it's $198,000 a year.
Howard went off on Sal telling him to get this under control. Sal said he has a financial planner coming to help him this week. Howard said that he can be his financial planner and he's free. Howard said that he can't believe that Sal lets his wife take care of the bills. Sal said he hopes that she's not out there just spending and not paying this stuff off.
Howard told Sal that he keeps himself like a baby and he wants someone to take care of him. He said that he's going to feel like a man when he stands up to his wife and takes over the finances. He said that he has to do this so he can pay for his kid's college. Sal said that's what he wants. Robin said that Sal wants an equal partner and that's not what he has. She said that he's ignoring the reality of this.
Howard told Sal that he has to get a hold of his finances. Sal said that he's working too hard to do that stuff on top of everything else. Howard said that he's retarded for letting all of this money go to the credit card companies.
Robin said that Sal spent all of that money on the expensive purse for his wife last year. Sal said that it's no different than Robin buying that $800 bottle of wine. Robin said that she and Howard can afford that.
Howard told Sal that he should be wearing a dress and shouldn't be called a father. Sal told him not to undermine him as a father. Howard said that he's going to and told him to wear that dress. He told Sal that he should have had those bills under control by now. Howard told him that he has to get all of those cards under control and get rid of that debt so they can raise their kids correctly.
Howard told Sal that his kids have two mothers and no father. Sal said that he's working his ass off to support those kids. Howard told him that he's not paying anything off.
Sal said that he's working very hard at paying that stuff off. Sal was trying to argue that this situation is kind of like Billy Joel's brother screwing up his finances. Howard said that Sal doesn't even know what his credit cards have on them and he's letting his wife take care of that stuff. He said that she obviously doesn't know that they can't afford this money.
Robin asked Sal if they know what they can spend and if they have a budget. Sal said that they spend it all. Howard said it can't be possible that he's spending $200,000 a year in interest. Artie showed up and said that it can't be that much. Howard said that it can't be that much but it has to be at least $20,000.
A caller told Howard that they were wrong about the math on the interest rate. Howard said that he was figuring it wrong and it was actually per year, not per month, so he's paying more like $20,000 a year instead of $200,000 a year. Artie said it was funny that Sal didn't even know what the right numbers were.
Howard told Sal that he doesn't make enough to be paying that kind of money on interest alone. Sal said that he's not sure what his wife is spending money on. He asked them to just stab him in the neck with a shovel.
Robin said that they do have to go to a financial planner so they know what they can spend money on. Fred said that they have to be a partnership because they're both adults. Howard said that Sal isn't feeding his family, he's feeding the credit card companies.
Sal said that his Land Rover is the biggest piece of shit. He said it breaks down almost every day. He said that she wanted that thing. He said that he had a Forerunner and it was great and his wife insisted on the Land Rover instead.
Howard interrupted Sal and said that he wears make up and asked him about that. Sal said that he did have Sephora on.
Sal's lawyer called in and said that they have to stop going off on Sal. They're going to work on getting him cleaned up next week. Howard said that this guy has to put on a dress when he gets that straightened out. Howard was telling Sal that he's not treating his family right by doing this. The lawyer told Howard that they're going to work all of this out next week.
Howard told the lawyer that there are men who are caught in the phase where they want everyone to be their mother. He said that Sal doesn't even have a check book. Howard said that makes him think that Sal is trying to turn his wife into Mommy so he can blame her for this stuff. Howard said that he has to take control over that and say that they can't afford to do this stuff. Howard said that this is a man who wears a dress.
Sal said that he knows that they got caught up in buying stuff and he knows that he has to get it under control. Howard told him to go out and get a check book and take over the credit cards. Howard told him to rip up the cards and start paying them off. He told him to pay off the principle and not just the interest.
The lawyer said that it sounds like he's making plenty of money and they should be able to get that paid down. Howard said that of course he should. Howard said Sal's money is going right out the window to the credit card companies.
Artie said that the credit card companies are evil. Howard said that they're not evil, it's the people who use them that don't know what they're doing. Howard said that he had to cut this short because his hero is there and he has to take a break before bringing him in.
The guys spent a little more time talking about Sal and the bind that he's in. Robin said that he's really stuck because he's trying to make his wife happy and he's not going to be able to say no to her about the Mercedes.
Howard told Artie that he looked good today, unlike what Lisa G said to him yesterday. Artie said he agrees with Lisa. They had to go to break after that.
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Howard came back and said that Joe Frazier was coming in and he thinks that his son Marvis too. Howard told Joe that he was looking good and so was his son. Joe said that he was doing fine now that he saw Howard. Howard told Joe that he was the true champion of the black people and he was the true hero there.
Robin and Howard ended up getting into more arguments about this special that Joe and Muhammad Ali were featured in. Howard told Joe what he learned from this special. Robin said she wishes that Ali could still beat Howard up.
Howard said that he can't believe that Cassius Clay got away with the stuff he got away with. Robin asked Joe if any other black person had said anything to him about the color of his skin. Joe said he never had a problem with that. Robin didn't believe that.
Howard said he saw this special that's coming out on HBO. He said it vindicates him because he's been saying for years that Joe was the real hero. Robin told Joe that the reason Howard is talking like this is because Ali never did the show. Howard said that Ali can't do the show because he can't even speak after Joe pummeled the shit out of him.
Howard said that Joe loaned Ali money and even drove him around like a chauffeur and Ali turned the black people against him by calling him an Uncle Tom. Joe said that he did that.
Howard said that he saw that Joe lost his gym. Joe said that he didn't lose it, he still has it. Joe said that he's doing just fine. Joe said that he gave some people a way of life and some people have walked away from him. Joe said that Don King left him but other people like Marvis have come in and helped him out.
Howard told Marvis that he wants him to explain to Robin what it was like to have Ali calling his father a gorilla and things like that. Marvis said that he had people beating him up over that stuff. Marvis said that people would tell him that his father was an Uncle Tom.
Robin said that they're doing this all over again and they've learned nothing. Joe asked her what she's talking about. Joe said that Ali is even whiter than he is so he's not sure what he was talking about when he called him an Uncle Tom.
Howard said that Joe worked the farms and the fields so he knows what it's like to work. Muhammad Ali never worked other than being a boxer. Robin told Howard he was being ridiculous. Howard said that Joe lost his toes to a lawn mower. Robin said that was a lawn mower, he wasn't working when he did that.
Joe asked Robin when they were going to go out. Robin asked when he was going to be in town. Robin said that she's leaving town today after work. She won't be around to go out.
Joe said that he wouldn't need to put a pillow over Robin's head. Howard figured that he was saying that he needs a pillow for some women's heads so he doesn't have to look at them. He didn't need that with Robin.
Howard asked Joe about Ali cheating on his wife when he was at the Thriller in Manilla. Joe said that Ali did go out with President Marcos back then and he's not sure what they did back then. Joe said he's not saying they did anything but he doesn't know what they were up to.
Robin asked Joe if he ever cheated on his wife. Joe said that he did a little ''dipping'' here and there. He said that he would walk away sometimes.
Howard asked if Joe ever cheated on Marvis' mother. Joe said he didn't do that. Howard said that Joe beat Ali in all three fights even though they didn't give it to him. Howard said that Joe could have won the third fight but his manager told him not to go out for the last round. Howard asked him if he hates that guy now. Joe said that he doesn't hate him. He said that he has to stick with those people and he may have seen something that he didn't see at the time. Robin said that they're all alive now because of that. Joe said that Ali isn't alive. He can't even walk.
Howard said that this HBO special ''Thrilla In Manilla'' is coming out on April 11th. Howard said that it's a great special too. Marvis said they did a great job with the special and they show Joe's side of the story in the film. Robin asked if they went too far to one side with the story. She said that she just wants to hear the story.
Howard said that Joe did a great job of beating up Ali back in those fights. He said that in the third fight he had it wrapped up based on the cards. Then his manager told him not to go out and screwed things up. Howard said that he as being protective of him but he threw in the towel. Howard said that history would have been changed if they hadn't done that.
Joe asked Robin if she was still married. He was interested in going out with her. Robin stood up for him to show him what she looked like. Howard asked if she was too skinny. Joe said she was a little small but he could work with that. Joe said that he would rub her down with cocoa butter. Robin told him that she's smooth.
Howard asked Joe if he would rub her butt down too. Joe said he was never into that back door stuff. He said that they have many ways of using that area and he doesn't go in there.
Howard asked Joe if he has ever made a mistake going in back there. Howard said he's had that problem before. Joe said that he doesn't go back there at all. He said that's no good.
Howard asked Joe what number Robin would be if she was with him. Joe said it would only be number 5. Howard figured it would be number 5 today.
Joe told Howard that Marvis' wife passed away about 9 years ago. Marvis said she had cancer. Howard asked if he's getting laid. Marvis said that he's doing okay. Joe said that he has two daughters and no sons. Marvis said he has two granddaughters too. Robin told Joe that the Frazier name is going to die if he doesn't get busy. Joe said that he has a few other sons so he still has a chance.
Joe said that he was married at 16 and he's not sure what his sons are up to now. He said that they're already 18 or so and they're not married yet.
Howard asked Joe about his grandmother being into voo doo and what that was like. He said that she used to give him stuff to make him better and he had no idea what it was. He was also thinking that she may have put a curse on Muhammad Ali.
Howard heard that Joe was on a lot of pain meds. Joe said that's not true. He said that he's a diabetic but that's it. He said that he has to use a Viagra sometimes. Then he said that he didn't mean that, he meant the vitamin C.
Howard asked Joe when he takes the Viagra. Joe said that he likes to try different things in the morning so he drops different things in his drink like E's and the C's (Vitamins). Howard told Marvis that his father just doesn't want to talk about the Viagra thing in front of him. Joe said that Marvis is a minister so he can't talk to him about that stuff.
Howard asked Joe if the Viagra can make him as hard as he was when he was a boy. Joe said that it makes it about as hard as the cane he was holding. Howard asked if it's still hard when he finishes. Joe said that he can do it a couple of times when he's done the first time. Joe said that it's the Vitamins that do that for him.
Howard asked Joe how old the women are that he's with these days. Joe said that they're in their 40s and 50s. Howard asked if he's ever smothered anyone accidentally with a pillow. Joe said that he doesn't do that, he has to give them breathing room. Howard said that Joe would do that with Robin if he ever had to do that.
Joe told Howard that he taught his son's how to treat women. Howard asked if he gave them advice on what to do to them to get them off. Joe said that he never went that far. He said that he never even went down on a woman himself. He said he never goes below the naval. Howard asked Marvis if he ever goes down there. He wasn't saying anything. Artie said that Marvis was more beat up then when he fought Tyson. Marvis said ''Down goes Frazier!''
Marvis was saying that a few years ago there was an all star game and his father and Ali met in a hotel in private quarters and forgave each other. Howard said that he wouldn't have hugged Ali if he were Joe. Joe said that Ali didn't look him in the eye. Artie said that Joe and Ali making up is only second best to Howard and Soupy Sales making up.
Joe said that he just wants to enjoy life a little bit and he wanted Ali to be able to enjoy that stuff too. He said that's why he wanted to make up with him. Howard said that he really wants people to watch this special on HBO. He said that it's called ''Thrilla in Manilla'' and it's on April 11th at 8pm on HBO.
Howard told Joe he's a great man and the great champion. Howard asked Robin if she ever thought she'd be sitting with Joe and he'd want to have sex with her. Robin said that she never thought she would.
Howard asked Joe about the woman he's with now. Joe said that she's great. He talked about her for a short time but Gary said that Joe really had to go. Howard told him that the next time he's there he has to bring a pillow in and show them his technique. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to that song a little bit. He said he was still trying to figure out what phone he was going to be using. He said he's researching it for him and Robin. He said he's getting a demo of the Pre at his apartment soon. He said that they have a gadget chick that wants to come on the show and she's pushing the phone that Doug Hurwitt has. That's the HTC Pro Touch. Fred said that people wrote in about that one and told him they think it's the best.
Gary said that this woman Natalie DelConte gave him the phone to try out. Gary said that it was actually a Google phone. He wasn't sure how that works though.
Robin said she was talking about the Pre and the people at Cnet are freaking out because they heard that Howard gets to check out the Pre. Howard said that they think that he's getting one but he's really not. He's just getting a demo.
Howard doesn't get why this new Pre isn't done already and out. He doesn't get why they can't just get it out there. He said the demo is today and Artie isn't going to be able to make it. He has a doctor's appointment with a cardiologist.
Howard said he gets the demo today and then he's going to demo out this other HTC phone. Howard said he wasn't sure if he could get it to work. He showed the guys the keyboard on the HTC (Actually a Google G1) and said that he's done with the iPhone because of the keyboard. He said he's heard it takes a long time to get used to.
Artie said that he hooked up Sal with Joe Frazier to give him some financial advice. Howard said that Sal was moving into a gym now.
Howard and the guys said that they love having Joe Frazier on the show. They spent a short time talking about him and about the HBO special. Howard told Robin that she really will enjoy that special. He wasn't just giving her a hard time.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said he heard about this concert that Howard is going to be at. Howard said that he was going to introduce Ringo but he didn't want to be filmed so he's just going to do his own thing instead.
Howard said that they have a lot of famous people appearing at that concert. Melrose said that Donovan is going to be there. Howard said that maybe Donovan would want him to do the Herdy Gerdy Man cover that he did.
Robin said she got tickets for the concert. Howard said that he was going to introduce Ringo until he heard that they were going go film it.
Artie said that he'd like to go too. Howard said he can't give him tickets since it's a fund raiser type of thing. Artie said that he would never bother him for that.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he heard that Howard was going to be getting that new X-Men Origins movie because he's sending it over to him. Howard asked the guy how he got it. The guy said that he knows a guy. He said that he got a copy and Hugh Jackman has redeemed himself in this. Howard said he knows another guy who got a copy already and the movie companies won't send him a copy. Howard said that these things are the actual movies and not just copies from the theater. Howard doesn't get why the studios don't send him copies.
Howard thanked the caller for sending him the copy. He said he has a moral problem with him sending stolen copies but he does want to see it. He said that he thinks that he should be able to review the movies ahead of time though. Howard said he thinks that this is going to kill the movie industry when they let these movies out this way.
Howard said that YouTube kills him. He said that he doesn't get why they get away with stealing video and don't have people going after them like they did with Napster. Howard said they steal his content and they steal other content as well. Howard said that they put up everyone's stuff over there. Howard said that you can't even go into business anymore because of it.
Lisa said that Beth O is all over TV this week. She said that she's on a few different shows. Howard said that Beth was on America's Top Model and he didn't get to see it. He said she didn't even tell him that she was on that show. She was also on Housewives of New York but she was just sitting in the audience. He said that she wasn't doing the show. He said that one of the women there was talking to her and she was one of the women on the show.
Lisa said that they found out about a love song called ''I Know'' that was written to his wife during the 143 incident. It was performed by someone that Vinnie Favale suggested to him. Lisa read some of the lyrics. Howard said that he heard the song and it was poorly recorded. He said that you can barely understand what the guy is saying. Howard played some of it but it was a bit garbled. Robin asked what was wrong with the singer, he was mumbling it all.
Lisa said she had to say the lyrics along with the song because it was so hard to understand. Howard said it sounded like the guy was pummeled by Joe Frazier.
Lisa said that Gary is going to throw out the first ball at the Mets season opener on May 9th. She said that he did that 9 years ago and didn't do such a great job so he's going to try harder this year to get it right.
Artie talked about how the throw isn't that far and it's not as hard as Gary makes it seem. They talked about some other people who have thrown the ball out.
Howard said that he didn't want Beth to get upset because she likes Scott so much. Howard said that Scott just said that he hits the dog with a newspaper on the butt. Howard said that Scott says the dog loves him no matter what he does to it.
Beth said she just wanted to get to the bottom of that and now she's not loving Scott DePace. Howard said that she got all dressed up last night and she was looking really hot. Beth talked about the party and dinner she went to. She said that she saw Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Hudson perform. She said that the only guys that came up to her were fans who had to tell her about Scott DePace.
Howard said he didn't even stay up last night to watch American Idol while Beth was out. Howard said he didn't even beat off.
Artie asked about the snoring too. Beth said ''poor me.'' Howard played some of the audio of him snoring that Beth recorded. Beth said that Jimmy Kimmel was asking her if she had thought about fitting Howard with an astronaut's helmet.
Howard said he loves Jimmy. Beth said she loves Sarah too and she's checking in on both of them. Howard said that he heard from Stamos that Jimmy might be kind of down since they broke up.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told her that she doesn't belong on that Tyra Banks show. Mariann said that she's all about Howard. She asked Beth if she ever listens to some dog person on the Martha Stewart show. Then she started to go on and on so Howard hung up on her. Howard said that he can't take that when she filibusters like that.
Howard said that Beth complained about his snoring on her Facebook page. He wasn't too happy about that. He said that she was asking for help on there. Beth said that someone wrote to her about getting ear plugs so she was going to try that out. She didn't need them last night but she may try it soon. She's going to try wax ear plugs.
Beth said that Howard only snores in one direction and when she asked him to move one night, he got upset with her for waking him up. Howard said that when he wakes up he can't go back to sleep. He said that he loses the edge when that happens.
Beth said that she'll pick up Howard's arm and drop it on the weekends because she doesn't feel so bad doing it. She said that he never did this before they were married. Artie said that Ralph thought it was a passive aggressive thing that he started to do because he's really not happy being married.
Howard said that he was trying to get Beth to show him her ass this morning but she doesn't show it to him. Beth said they have all weekend to do that. Howard said that it would have put a smile on his face if she had done it. Beth said that they have all weekend. Howard said that it would have been great if she had just done it. Artie told Beth that Howard only had to ask Sal once to show him his ass and he did it.
Howard had Scott DePace's dog on the phone. The guys in the back had some barking sounds and played them for him when he'd ask questions.
Howard said that he and Beth have a great marriage. Beth said that they really do. She said that it feels even better being married than it did before and she's really happy. Howard said that things are going great.
Beth was thinking about having another wedding party. Howard just wanted to know how much it was going to cost.
Artie said that the shrink is going to read his book. Howard said ''Oh no!'' when he heard that. Artie said that he has a trainer and a cardiologist with him now too so he's really trying to work on everything. Artie said that the trainer he has told him that if he sees him buying drugs, he's going to ram his car.
Artie said that he's doing the Belushi thing with all of these people he has working for him. Howard told Artie that Belushi ended up dying though. Artie said that this will be different. He said that he has this trainer picking him up after work every day and they're going to be doing something that's almost a boot camp type of thing. Artie said that the guy is going to be with him 7 days a week. He's going to be really strict and he's going to be keeping him from doing the Subutex. Howard said he'd like to see him trying to get off of that stuff.
Artie said that he has people wanting to do reality shows with him on the road. He said that he's not sure he wants to do that. He said that they're going to do a test show with him and they're basically going to move in with him. He said the schedule is going to be crazy.
Howard told Artie that doing a show like that is going to be bad for him because he's going to want to misbehave. Artie said that his mother has never seen him doing drugs so he doesn't want her to ever see that. Howard said he doesn't want Artie going down that route. He told him he can't do this reality show.
Artie said that Norm told him that he should never have any photography equipment near his home. He said that after seeing him in Rolling Stone.
Beth said that she loves Artie and hopes that he's going to do okay. Artie said that he was on that Subutex during the shooting of ''Beer League'' and he was told he should only be on it for 6 months. He's been on it for 4 years now.
Artie said he found out that the Subutex may be leading to his weight gain. He said that it's been a vicious cycle lately and this new trainer is going to turn things around for him. Howard said it sounds like he's going to have a turn around in his life. Artie said that he has to get off the Subutex because it's not good for you. He said that he wishes he could go back to that one time he did heroin and just wring his own neck. He said that the euphoria was amazing and he knew he was in trouble as soon as he did it.
Beth asked Artie if he and Dana are back together. Artie said they're talking but they're not back together. Artie said that he has to get better and he just wants to do this shit and then work on the other stuff like the reality show and relationships.
Howard said he was reading an article about Chris Christopherson in Rolling Stone and Ethan Hawke wrote it. He said it was actually very good and he's a fan of Chris' now. He said that Ethan is a great writer too.
Gary said that he could take care of Vinnie if he wanted. Howard said that he didn't have to do anything. Gary said that he had Vinnie over to his house the other night and people were asking why he never stops talking. Gary said that Vinnie didn't stop talking from the moment he walked in the door.
Howard had Vinnie on the phone and he told him that he likes him but he would like him to sit quietly while he checks out the phone. Vinnie said that he doesn't have to be there and he can just tell him about the phone. Howard told Vinnie he wants him to come. Gary said he thinks that Vinnie would be good at asking questions about the phone. Howard said he wants him to come and the invite was sincere. Vinnie said he even knows the woman who will be there so it should be okay.
Howard said he was reading about Obama going to meet the queen and he saw that she has a move where she puts her pocket book on the left if she gets bored. Howard said he needs a move like that.
Vinnie told Howard that he will hang back and not talk if he wants. Howard said he didn't know what a pain in the ass Vinnie was until all of these people came to him and pointed out how annoying he can be. Vinnie said that he doesn't think that Pat Minokia likes him. Howard said that he really doesn't like him.
Jon said that he was at Gary's house the other night with Vinnie and he rally doesn't shut up. Jon said that he doesn't think that Vinnie is going to be able to shut up at this phone thing. Vinnie said that he was just trying to get things organized at that Gary party. Gary said that people from the magazine were saying that they would have liked to have had a mute button on Vinnie.
Robin said that Vinnie may not be self aware and that might be the problem. Howard asked Vinnie if he can just leave after the meeting. Vinnie said that he has to leave, he has to go to work. Howard ended up asking Vinnie if he ever has any contact with Letterman over there. Vinnie said that of course he does.
Howard asked Vinnie if he gave anything to Dave for his wedding. Vinnie said he gave a donation like he did with Howard. Howard said Dave seemed miserable about the wedding. Vinnie said that he did seem that way. Howard said that he should go on the show and talk to Dave about that stuff.
Howard was going to play some of the top 5 songs but ended up waiting for the guys to put up the song Robin was talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is a pussy and he's letting his wife run around doing what she wants to do. Howard said that he kind of likes a woman who is independent like Beth is. He said that he was out with his daughter last night so Beth would have been sitting home alone if she hadn't gone out.
The caller said that Beth seems to be reaping the benefits of being with him. Artie told the guy that she is his wife. Of course she's getting the benefits.
Howard said that this guy sent in a bunch of songs that he changed the lyrics in. He threw Barack Obama's name in all of these songs. He played a few clips and laughed at the guy for doing it. He took all kinds of hit songs and threw the Barack and Obama things in there. Robin said it was making her sick hearing them.
Howard said that President Obama went over to England and gave the Queen an iPod. The queen gave her a framed picture of herself. Howard said that the iPod may have been useless to her but the picture was even more useless.
Howard and the guys talked about the crazy rules the queen has for the way people are supposed to act around her.
Howard said that he was reading that a pack of cigarettes is going to cost $9 in New York. Artie said that his trainer is trying to get him to stop smoking. He said that the one vice he won't take away is gambling. He said the guy had him clear out his refrigerator yesterday and he was throwing out soda and stuff like that. He said that the guy suggested some cola to him that's sodium free. He said the guy's name is Mike, it's the same guy that flies him around. He said Mike won't let him use the helicopter all the time now though. He said that they have to have him be more social so they're going to be doing more driving.
Howard played the song that Robin was talking about earlier with the Hellen Keller lyrics. Scott the Engineer told him that the line was about 2 minutes into the song. Howard said that Scott could have pulled that clip but he left him to just fast forward himself. Howard said that's why he has Scott there, to get to the right spot.
Howard gave up on the song but Fred had found the right spot so he played it instead. Howard said that the lyrics were disgraceful. Artie said he wasn't sure if he liked that song or not. He was confused.
Howard asked the guys if they knew who Paul Cursey was. Howard said that he wasn't going to tell them who he was talking about. No one knew so he said that it was Charles Bronson in ''Death Wish.'' Howard said he was thinking about that the other day. He wondered if Bronson was still alive. Fred said he thought he had just died recently.
Artie asked Howard if he knew where Bronson was from. No one was sure but Artie said that he grew up near Pittsburgh. He said he thought that he was from Europe or something.
Howard said that Richard's dad called him on his birthday. Howard said you get a taste of what it's like to live on that farm when he calls. Howard played the voice mail that Dad left for Richard. He told Richard about another one of their dogs that got killed by a car. He had to dig another grave for the dog.
Howard talked about how creepy the Christy household is. He said that it's really creepy looking. Richard told Howard that they actually had a guy die in that house before they lived there. He said that the guy had fallen down the stairs and died. He said his mother doesn't like going to that part of the house.
Howard said the whole farm thing is weird. He said that Richard had to eat their pet cows and stuff when he was living there. Richard said he wasn't force to eat it. He did have to eat their pet cow ''Calfy'' though. He said he cried over that.
Howard asked Richard why he cried over his dead catfish. Howard said he sounds like a four year old when he talks about that stuff. Howard asked what the name of the catfish was. Richard said it was Catfishy but Gary said it was actually Catfishy 2. Richard said that Catfishy 1 died yesterday too.
Richard said that he's trying to get the whole fish tank thing worked out so they don't kill them off. Richard said that the catfish are tiny. Bluey, Pinky and Purple are the rest of the names of their fish.
Artie said that Richard could never win in a fight, he's going to end up getting killed there in the city if he gets into a fight. He said he looks at him like a little kid. Richard said that he has been in fights before.
Richard said that this morning his fish was fine but he found out that the catfish died. He said they're trying to get the fungus out of the tank. Artie asked him about the fungus on his hands. Richard said that may not have helped. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was going to listen to some stuff with JD. He said he heard that Artie's book was mentioned on Letterman last night. Artie said he heard about that, someone called. Howard played the clip where Dave was doing the Top 10 Signs Your Computer has the Conficker Virus. Artie was number 4 with ''no matter what book you order on Amazon, you get Artie Lange's Too Fat To Fish.''
Fred told Howard to check out Benjy's salad today. He said that it was huge. Howard said that a cow doesn't even eat that much. Benjy showed the box and Robin said that it's not a single serving. Benjy said he's not going to eat it all. Benjy said it was 16 ounces of lettuce. Howard said that he eats too much volume. Benjy said he really doesn't stuff himself anymore. Artie said that they do sell it smaller than that. Benjy said it's cheaper that way. Artie said he's probably saving a nickel.
Howard said that he was watching Star Jones being interviewed by Oprah about leaving The View. She came out and said that she was embarrassed about having her stomach stapled and that's why she told people she was exercising to lose the weight. They ended up firing her because she lost credibility on that show.
Howard said that he doesn't hate black people and he's not sure what this guy on the phone is talking about. the caller said that Howard shits all over Prince too. Howard said that he doesn't shit on him because he's black. Howard told the caller that he was wrong about this stuff and the caller is the racist, not him. Howard said that he went to see Prince perform at a party and he had them turn the lights out. Howard said that pissed him off.
Howard let Don go and Artie asked Howard about the HBO special about Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier and said that it sounded crazy that Ali had met with the Klan. Howard said that the fight footage in that special is great.
Steve Langford came in with his news preview. Steve said that Eric the Midget's April Fool's Day joke was a failure but he sent along an e-mail about it as well. Howard said he thinks that Eric was just trying to get back to the bunny Ranch by pulling that prank and it didn't work.
Steve said that Artie Lange apparently won't be doing any guest shots on Rescue Me this season because the season has been shot already. Steve also mentioned that they have an Intern Beauty pageant coming this May and it's the first one they've done there at SIRIUS.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down the list of subjects they were going to be covering today. That led to Fred and Robin arguing about Muhammad Ali being a draft dodger. Robin said that he was living in a country where he wasn't allowed to go into restaurants because he was black. She said that she didn't hold that against him.
Robin was also telling the guys about how Muhammad Ali had called her over to him at one point in his life and hit on her. Robin said that he asked her if he knew her and she knew that he was just hitting on her. She said that he slid his arm around her waist and she did the same to him.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that not enough women call into the show. She said that she's a recovering addict herself and she hopes that he gets help. She also said she's a fan of Robin's and Fred's as well.
Howard said that he was listening to the show again yesterday and Artie dropped a really funny line. He said that he misses that stuff all the time.
Howard had Mutt from Superfan Roundtable on the phone. Mutt told Howard that they're going to be talking about Sal's rough week this week. That led to them talking about the t-shirts that they sell and how Artie has some as well. Mutt said that all of the guys sell that kind of stuff at their shows. Mutt said he'll talk to the fans about that stuff tonight. Howard said that just because people want it doesn't mean you have to sell it. Mutt said they'll be talking about Robin and Tim's detox weekend and about Lisa G's bad skin and stuff like that. Catch Superfan Roundtable tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in again and went off on Howard for what the caller was saying about her earlier and also went off on Robin about Muhammad Ali and a couple of other things. She was going off on Robin about her detox diet and how she's probably jealous of Valerie Bertinelli for being able to get into a bikini when she can't. Robin said that it was Valerie's job to lose that weight and get into the bikini. Robin said that these people are pulling the wool over people's eyes and not telling people how they're actually losing that weight.
Mariann and Artie went at each other too. She said that she wrote him a letter but Artie said that he didn't see it. Howard had to hang up on her again after she went on a little too long. Howard said the clock ran out on that call.
Another caller told Howard he has to get that iPhone because they have a chess application on there. The guy said that he was dancin' today and he had some good stuff in the hospital. He was having some pancreas problems and they had him on some good stuff. Howard asked the guy if he was going to die. The guy said that he should be okay.
Robin read about the Octomom's kids being released from the hospital. There's only one more remaining there at the hospital. She's also had to hire security guards because someone threw a car seat through her car window. Howard said he almost feels bad for her hearing that. Artie said that he's getting in shape so he can live long enough to see those kids being interviewed at 18.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he had to compliment the Howard TV guys for the stuff they've had on lately. He said that there was a Sybian ride recently that they shot and the show around that was great. Howard talked about how quickly those guys can get the Sybian in the studio and set up. He said they're like a NASCAR pit crew. He said it's unbelievable. Howard and the caller talked about the Cloris Leachman interview as well.
Robin read a story about a study that was done about what makes for a good leader. Leaders have more children according to the study.
Robin read a story about a guy who choked to death on a bait fish while trying to show off for some kids on a fishing trip.
Robin had some news about the pistachio recall that's going on right now. Howard said he loves pistachios. Artie said that the Bobby Flay pistachio shake is really good. Robin said that they have a recall for the nuts because there was some salmonella contamination. Howard said that he loves eating those things and he wants to send them out as gifts once this salmonella scare is over.
Robin had a story about Hugh Jackman's new movie being leaked online. Howard said that he's apparently getting a copy from that guy who called in earlier. Robin said that the copy is reportedly incomplete with scenes that haven't been finished. Howard said he's looking forward to seeing it. He said he's not sure how they get out or why these guys post it online. It's not like they're making money on it.
Robin read a story about a 7 year old kid who went to school high on marijuana. Cops arrested the parents. The kid had found it at home.
Robin had a story about a nurse who was found to be injecting bleach into people's dialysis machines while they were being treated. Robin said the woman was given the Angel of Death title. That led to Howard saying that Robin was an Angel when she was a nurse because she once straddled a guy who wanted to die when he was in the hospital. Robin said she was a nurse and she was trying to make the guy feel better about his life.
Robin read a story about an artificial nose that's being developed. She said that they're developing that for use in airports. The scientists are saying they'll be able to tell if someone is white, black or Asian based on smell when this thing is implemented.
Robin read a story about Oprah Winfrey's school in Africa where 7 students were expelled for sexual conduct. The guys spent a little time talking about that and about Oprah's school.
Howard said that he never finished his rap about Oprah earlier. He said that she's taking 50 million to do that radio channel there and she could make an effort to promote it sometimes.
Robin read about President Obama being in London this week. She had some audio of a reporter talking about a new name they have for Michelle Obama. Howard thought it was ''Blackie O'' but that wasn't it. In the clip the reporter said that the new name they had for her was ''Mighty Michelle.''
Howard and the guys talked about Obama for a short time and said that they're liking him so far. Howard said that he liked McCain too but he was getting too old. Artie said that they need a younger guy in there, that's why the world is giving them so much respect.
Robin read some news about John McCain pushing to give a pardon to boxer Jack Johnson. Howard said that he's all for that. The guy was charged for transporting a white woman across state lines and they really fucked that guy over. Artie said the guy would tell people to fuck off when they fucked with him and that's what pissed people off too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's tired of Robin giving Artie such a hard time all the time. Artie thanked the guy for coming to his defense. Robin wasn't saying anything about that. She was saying that she did notice that the guys impression of her laughing is more accurate than she thought. She said she heard a replay of the show the other day and heard herself doing what they do in their impressions.
Robin read a story about the soap Guiding Light being canceled. That led to the guys talking about how they know people who were hooked on soaps. Robin said that Sammy Davis Jr. came out as a soap lover at one point and that may have led to some guys admitting they liked them.
Robin read that the feds are going in and grabbing up all of Bernie Madoff's stuff like homes, boats and things like that. They're going to try and recover some the money that he stole from his clients.
Artie wondered why Madoff didn't just use some of his money to pay back those clients so he could get out of trouble. Howard said too many people asked for their money back and it screwed up his whole scam.
Robin read some more news about Lisa Ling's sister's arrest over in North Korea. She said that they were warned about the danger of entering that area but they went in anyway. Howard said that they probably figured that they could go in no problem with their cameras. Howard said that those people aren't even allowed to go on the internet over there.
Robin read a story about a Cleveland Browns player who was arrested for manslaughter after he hit someone in his Bentley. His blood alcohol level was at a 1.26 at the time according to what she read.
Robin read about last night's American Idol and told Howard who went home. Howard said he had already heard. They played some clips from the show. Howard said that the chick who got kicked off was hot but she had that tattoo sleeve that didn't look so good to him. Robin had some audio of David Cook talking about the album he put out.
Robin read about the Jonas Brothers going out on tour. She said that there are some people willing to do some wacky things to go out to see their concerts. She read about a mother who had her eyebrows ripped off on a radio show to win tickets. Howard said that they're working on a contest where people will have to go to the border of North Korea and China and try to get out.
Robin played some music from the Jonas Brothers to let people know what kind of music those people won tickets to.
Robin had some audio of Miley Cyrus talking about her new movie. Howard told her to just go be a kid already. He played the audio while Fred played the Grandpa Al Lewis ''Bla, bla, bla, bla...'' audio clip over her. They had some fun with that for a short time. Then Artie got in on it and started doing an impression of her. He said that he wanted to move to Korea after hearing that. Artie said the head of that country wouldn't put up with that nonsense.
Robin read a story about a BBC Mini-Series that Ben Affleck will be starring in. She had some audio of him talking about his recent break from acting. Robin said she likes Ben and thinks that he's a thoughtful, smart guy. Howard said he liked him too. He called into the show one time and seemed like a good guy. Robin finished up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:40am.
Jon said that he wasn't aware that Ali had hit on Robin. Gary said he didn't know that either. Jon said that Ali is idolized by a lot of people but when you hear some of the stuff that Howard brought up today it may change your opinion of the guy. Gary said that Ali did go to a KKK rally and Joe Frazier did try to help Ali out when he was down and out so that kind of stuff does change your view on Ali.
Gary said that he's not even talking about boxing, he's talking about the kind of person Ali was toward Frazier back then.
Gary said that Robin really loves Ali and it has to be tough for her to hear that stuff. Gary said that Ali has flaws and they seem to dissipate over the years but today Howard brought that stuff back to light.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how Joe looked today. Gary said that he walks with a staff, it's not really a cane, and he walks kind of slow. He said that he's able to walk on his own though. Gary said he has slowed down since he first started coming on the show.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he doesn't like how much time they spend talking about sports. He said that they have plenty of sports shows on SIRIUS and they don't need to do that. Gary said that they have people asking them about sports. That led to Jon and Gary talking about sports over the caller. The caller said that it's super boring when they talk about that nonsense. The caller said he's not into sports and this stuff is just boring.
Gary and Jon were arguing with the guy about the sports thing saying that most guys are into sports. The caller said that most men aren't into sports. Jon said that they try to talk about sports as they relate to the show. They try not to talk about it too much. The caller said that they fail when they do that.
Jon kept that guy on the line and took another call from a guy who said that the guy probably likes fuckin' horses if he's from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The caller said that he's obviously not male if he doesn't like sports. The first guy said that's ridiculous that you have to like sports. Jon said that he has to admit that most guys do like sports. The caller said that he didn't hate sports, he just doesn't want to hear so much about it on their show.
Jon got back to Joe Frazier and asked why Robin and Fred were going at it so much. Gary said that Fred was with her for a moment and then Robin turned on him.
The guys talked about how Marvis Frazier was praying during the interview when Howard would bring up the racy stuff with his father. Gary said that he didn't know that he was that religious. Gary said he didn't know what the whole minister thing meant either. Gary said he knows what a Priest does and what a Rabbi does but he's not sure what a minister is exactly. Will said that they can be non-catholic Christians. He wasn't even sure. No one was sure.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was prompted to call in by that anti-sports nut. He said that he thinks that they do a good job at throwing in sports references on the show. He said they can do a little bit of both. He said that he doesn't care much about football but loves the baseball stuff. Gary said he thinks the guy was saying that sports was dominating the show and he didn't think that was it at all.
Jon and Gary said that they like when Howard interviews sports stars because he's not that interested in the sports aspect and it's not the typical sports interview.
A caller told the guys that he signed up to get his reverend status online. He said he doesn't have to take a test or anything like that. Gary said that he still doesn't know what that stuff means or what Marvis is into or what religion he is.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that the Wrap Up Show is different than the Howard Stern Show because it has different hosts. He said that's what people listen to and you have to get used to that. He said he loves when they throw in obscure sports references. Jon and Gary liked that caller since he was being so positive about their show. Jon said that might be their ''Caller of the Week.'' Jon said that they're there to wrap up the Stern Show and that's all they're really trying to do.
Gary said that he was talking to Sam Simon a couple of weeks ago about Ali and Frazier. Gary said that he heard his father talk about some of the greats and Ali really stood out. Gary said he heard other names too though. He had longevity too. Gary said that Ali did lose a few times too. Jon said the most depressing fight was against Larry Holmes. He said that was terrible.
Jon asked the guys if they thought Joe was distracted by Robin the whole interview. Gary said that he was aware that she was in the room. Will said he thinks that Joe gets tired of talking about the fight stuff, that's why he may have been distracted.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thinks that the Minister thing is seminary school. Benjy said that can be for anything. He wasn't sure about what the right answer was. Gary wondered why the guy called in then.
Jon took a call from a guy who had more information about the Minister thing. He said that it's just a general title and it's non-catholic. Gary said he wasn't giving Marvis any crap, he was just curious. He didn't know what that title meant.
Jon asked the guys if they think Howard got through to Sal. Will said that Sal should know about all of this stuff already. Gary said he was thinking that Sal should move all of the credit cards to one card with low interest so he can start paying it off.
Gary said that Big Black used to tell them about how he would keep getting credit card after credit card and just pay off one with another one. He didn't work, he just paid his bills with more credit cards.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal can get out of this and he has to write down all of his cards and balances and start on the lowest balance first. Jon said that Sal really has to think about what they're spending the money on and think twice about what they're doing before they spend.
Gary said that he saw this woman on TV who suggested having just one credit card and to have an 8 month plan so you have money to live on for that amount of time. Gary said that's what Sal needs to do. He said he has to cut up all of those credit cards.
Will said that he doesn't think that Sal has that much left to spend to pay those bills off. He has 3 kids he has to take care of.
Another caller said that hey have to book Susie Orman on the show because she would go off on Sal and his wife about the way they spend. Gary said that he saw her on 60 Minutes and she was good.
Another caller asked Gary why he thinks that he can tell Sal what to do with his money the way he does. Gary said that he was in a similar situation years ago and he's gone through that kind of stuff.
A caller asked the guys why Sal won't tell his wife not to buy expensive things. She wondered if Sal was worried that she's going to leave him or something. Jon said that Sal does want his wife to be happy and he may be willing to close his eyes to some of that stuff. Will said that he thinks that she became accustomed to a certain lifestyle and Sal is giving stuff to her to keep her happy so he can keep working there.
Gary said that people are going to call and say that Sal isn't making the kind of money he used to but Sal wasn't doing well at the end of his stockbroker career. He was happy that this job came along when it did.
Will said that he and his wife have a joint account and separate accounts. Gary said that things are weird when you get married. He said that you do keep your own accounts and then eventually get just one.
Benjy asked the guys what kind of purchases they would have without telling their wives. Gary said that he knew a guy who bought a Corvette without telling his wife and she wasn't too happy about that.
Gary said that he and his wife are at the point where they can do whatever they want without telling each other. Gary said that he does talk to his wife about some stuff but they don't have that big of a concern about money.
Jon told the caller that Sal brought up the pressure he has to keep up with the Jones' out on Long Island. Sal said it's more like keeping up with the Greenbergs.
The caller said she feels bad for Sal and she's afraid that this is his only redeeming value to let his wife buy all of this stuff. Sal said that it's not all on her, he just got too lax on it and he needs to put his foot down when it comes to that stuff.
Sal said that he doesn't blame his wife completely for this. He said that he's trying to take care of things in his life and he's letting her take care of that stuff. He said he's like the cave man going out and catching the food and he's leaving it up to his wife to make dinner out of it.
Sal said that he and his friend are going to get together an work on this whole thing. He said that they're going to refinance and then he's going to put everything in Quicken on the computer and handle it himself.
Gary asked Sal if he knows what big purchases he's made lately. Sal said he really doesn't know of any. He said the biggest thing is that they're going down to Florida to do some shows and Christine had a bunch of dresses she was trying on. He said she told him that she bought them a long time ago though.
Benjy asked Sal what this trip to Florida is going to cost them. Sal said he thinks it's going to be about $800. He said that they're just going there to work and the kids aren't coming so it's not that much. Sal said that he's going to work his way out of this hole and he will take the dress off and take over the finances.
Jason said that Sal won't have a plan in 2 weeks. He said that he guarantees that. He said that Sal will get some advice and he won't follow it. Sal told him to shut up because no one in the audience cares about what he has to say anyway.
Gary asked Sal if he thinks Howard went overboard this morning. Sal said that's just Howard, he does that all the time.
Benjy said that Sal got upset with Howard when he said that he was undermining him as a father. Sal said that he did get upset because he takes very good care of his kids. Benjy told Sal that if he's living in horrible debt then Howard thinks that he's not taking care of them the right way. Sal said that he didn't need to bring them into it.
Sal said that his kids are everything to him and they are his priority. He said that it's not something he can't get out of. He said his kids don't have a college fund yet but that's what they're going to work on fixing. Gary said that if Sal gets to retirement age and they have no money, his kids are going to have to take care of them.
Sal said that no matter what his kids are going to be taken care of. Jason told him that he can't just say that. Jason has problems with debt too though so the guys called him out on that. Jason told Sal that he has to stop with the new car thing too. Gary told him to buy a less expensive car than the Land Rover. Jon told him not to worry about the brand name of the car either. Gary said that there are good deals to be had out there and he could find something better than the Land Rover.
Jason said that Sal keeps saying that he's going to take care of his kids no matter what but that's not the case if he's broke. Sal said that he's just saying he has the will to do whatever it takes to take care of them. He said that's all that he thinks about.
Gary said that he's behind on some of that stuff too and he's trying to catch up on it. Gary said that when you blink it's close to being college time and it's very important. Sal said that his kids do have money in their savings and they don't touch that. Sal said that they think about it but they have never touched it. They had to go to break after that.
The caller said that she thought that Beth had a tone in her voice that was kind of odd and she knows what that means. She said it's not the same as when they first got married. Gary said that it's tough to keep up that level for that long. He said that he thinks that they still love each other a lot.
Jon brought up the fact that the fans brought up the DePace dog disciplining thing with her. Gary said that their fans are the worst and you can't hide anything on the show.
Jon asked Gary if he's ever had anything exposed like that. Gary said that video tape he made for his old girlfriend was brought up to her boy the fans but they told her it was a sex tape. Gary said she ended up laughing at him over it.
The guy who calls in about the Mets sucking got in his daily call. Jon asked Sal what he thinks about that guy. Sal said that he makes him laugh every day with those calls even though he's not a baseball fan.
Sal asked Gary about what the bigger rivalry is, the Mets and Philiies or the Yankees and Red Sox. Gary said he thinks that it's the Yankees and Red Sox.
Sal told a story about getting kicked out of a baseball game for yelling something out to a player about getting off the bottle. He was told that the guy had just gotten out of rehab or something so the guy wasn't thrilled with that.
Sal told another story about one of the guys throwing him a ball after the game was over. He said that he had been yelling at the guy through the whole game about how much he loved him and then got the ball. Will said that the story was probably that Sal called Bobby Bonilla the N-word and Bobby threw the ball at him.
Gary and Sal talked about how they have gotten to sit in Artie's seats at Yankee stadium and they're about 6 rows behind 3rd base. Gary said that Artie was really happy when he got A-Rod to glare at him after he yelled something out at him at a game. Will said that he's yelled stuff out at A-Rod about the whole Madonna thing.
Sal said that when there's nothing going on in the game it's the most boring shit. Gary said that there's plenty to talk about during a game that's slow and that's what most sports fans would do. Sal said he looks for any excuse to get out of a game when it's going slow.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to let Sal know to get control of the check book because he'll be able to control Christine more. Sal said that's why he's getting on top of that stuff.
Gary asked Sal if he has the ability to tell Christine that he's going to do that. Sal said that she told him that she was sick of doing the bills anyway so he could take care of them.
Jon asked Sal how he managed his money before he got married. Sal said that he had no problem doing that before he got married.
Jon asked the guys if they think that Vinnie is going to get in the way today at Howard's apartment. Gary said he thinks that he'll be okay since they had that discussion today. He said that if they hadn't talked about it today then it would have been at 6:01 on Monday morning.
Gary said that Vinnie is going to ask a lot of questions that Howard wouldn't think of. Sal said that Vinnie is one of those guys who talks too much and it makes you think that there's a mongoloid in the room when you hear him talking.
A caller asked Jason what the interest rate was on the loan he took out for his wedding. Gary said that Jason had something like a 17 percent interest rate. Gary said that all of the money he got in the wedding is probably gone already. The caller said that Jason likes to pile on people like that and he's doing the same kind of thing.
Jason said that he has been paying off that loan every month and it's not something that he got into not knowing how like Sal did. Jason said that Sal calls him fat when he's fat too so he was just doing the same to him. Sal said that was Jason piling on, just like he does with his plate. Jason said that's what Christine does with her dance card too. The guys had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:00am.