|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started off the show talking about how he doesn't know what date it is. Robin knew so she helped him out. Howard said that he didn't watch the Jets game with Brett Favre over the weekend. Artie said that their win was just false hope for them. He said he likes them and he'll root for them. He said he's more of a Giants fan though. He said they won big but Gary came in and said that they didn't ''win big.''
Howard said that he saw some of what was going on with Tom Brady getting hit. He asked the guys about the Jets game. Gary said that Favre threw a really long pass and it shows that he's still got a great arm. Robin said that Artie has to agree with that. Artie gave her an ''oh yeah...'' Artie said that he's not sure they'll go to the Super Bowl this season though. Gary said he thinks they'll make it to the playoffs though.
Gary said that he thinks the Jets will go pretty far and wanted to bet Artie on that. Artie agreed to do that. He said he'll have to take some action to make up for what he loses on the Levy / Bonaduce fight.
Artie asked Gary if he could pay him to just not bring up the Jets ever again. He said he really doesn't hate the Jets like he hates the Mets though. That led to the guys talking about the Yankees and how they're not doing all that great this season. Gary and Artie talked about hat stuff for a short time.
Artie said that he was staying in his house this weekend trying to get off the Subutex and he had the security guy there to keep him in the house. He said he asked the guy if he could leave, just to test him, and the guy said no at first. Then he asked him where he was going and if he wanted him to stay there.
Artie said he gave this guy a grand to stay there and watch him for the weekend. He said he did have a great story to tell about his situation. He said it's really embarrassing. He thought that he shouldn't tell the story though.
Howard tried to get the story out of Artie. He wasn't sure if he should say it but he went into it a short time later. Artie said that he grew up with this guy in high school and they used to get into trouble together. The other guy got into drugs pretty bad and he was smoking coke and stuff. Now the guy doesn't have any teeth so he has to buy him teeth. He said that's going to cost him like 8 grand.
Artie said that when you sniff coke the stuff drips down into your gums and it rots your teeth away. Artie said that he never did it that often where he lost his teeth. He said he's kind of upset that he has to buy this guy his teeth.
Gary asked him why he has to buy him teeth. Artie said that he's going to be working for him so that's why he's doing it for him. He said he's a great and loyal friend so that's why he's doing this stuff for him. Artie said that he's doing a deal with this Live Nation company and they have ''real'' people around at these gigs so he has to have people there that have teeth. He told his friend that he had to get some and that's why he's paying for them.
Howard said that last Thursday Artie was suffering through the detoxing of the Subutex and this morning he looks great. Artie said that he's cleaner than he's been in a really long time. He's not drinking or doing drugs. Artie said that he has to get rid of the heaviness now and maybe then he'll be happy.
Artie said that he saw this smoking hot black chick who wants to be his assistant when he came in this morning. He had a picture of her and showed it to Howard. Artie said that she used to work as an assistant at Morgan Stanley.
Artie said that the chick might be part Italian after he saw what her last name was. He didn't give that information out though.
Artie got back to the Jets discussion and talked about Brett Favre a little more. Howard said that he's not sure how these guys don't get knocked out of the game more often based on how hard a hit they can take every week. He said that they constantly go for the knee and he's not sure how they survive. Robin said that they don't all survive and they do get knocked out of the game pretty often.
Howard said that last night one of the vampires was getting beaten up and he said he seemed like a pussy. He said that's just not right. They're supposed to be immortal and have super powers. He asked about Anna Paquin's gap in her teeth and if that was real. The caller said it was. Howard said that was kind of disturbing because he thought it was something that they did just for the show. Howard said the show was interesting enough that he will watch the show again.
Robin asked about Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles show starting up again. Howard said that it is starting up tonight. Robin said that she wasn't going to watch it but she got really into the show toward the end of last season and she will watch it this season.
Howard said that he's going to watch ''True Blood'' this season and give it more of a chance. He said that he forgot to watch the MTV Vide Music Awards last night. He said they used to be a big deal but they don't seem to be that much anymore. Howard said that Mel used to tell him about how much money they could make with those award shows over there at MTV.
Howard said he heard about some of what went on there at the awards and people were going nuts for Britney Spears. He said that she came out and said a few words and left but people went nuts for her. He played a clip and explained what was going on in that.
Jeff said that he has to eat very carefully. He said that he does use his broken arm to do all of this stuff he has to do. He has to wipe his ass with that arm too. Howard asked how he wipes his ass with a broken arm. Jeff said he just does it.
Howard said that maybe this is a wake up call for Jeff. Jeff said that he quit smoking. Artie said that had to be tough because he was a big smoker. Jeff said it's only been 3 days so far. He said that he wants to live and that's why he quit. Jeff said that he's not going to quit drinking though. He asked if they thought he was crazy or something.
Artie asked Jeff what happened when he fell and broke his arm. Jeff said he was on wet grass when he slipped and fell. He was drunk at the time. Jeff said they were out bar hopping and they went over to this guy's house. That's where he fell and hurt his arm.
Howard asked Jeff how people get him to leave his house because they can't seem to get rid of him there at the radio show. Jeff said he had a good time and left. Howard talked about how Jeff will just sit there in the green room and refuse to leave. Jeff said that's because he loves those guys there.
Howard asked Jeff who he called about his arm. Jeff said that he called the doctor that handled his ass problems. Howard asked how that went. Jeff tried to explain it but Artie went into his Jeff the Drunk impression and goofed on that for a couple of minutes.
Howard talked about what doctors should be called when they work in a certain field. Jeff was calling his ass doctor ''Dr. Ass Man'' so Howard threw out some other names like ''Dr. Tooth'' for a dentist and ''Dr. Pussy'' for a gynecologist.
Howard asked Jeff why he goes bar hopping. Jeff said that his friend Rachel took him out to this one bar and some other people wanted to go out to another bar and then back to his house. Howard asked Jeff why he had to go. Jeff said he just went. He said it was just something to do. Howard asked if they got into a car to go to the other place. Jeff said they did but Rachel doesn't drink too much when she drives. He said that she made sure that they stayed there an hour after her last beer. She's really responsible according to Jeff.
Howard asked why he had to go to one bar from another one. Jeff said he didn't know. Artie said that's the kind of thing you do in New York City because you can walk between the bars. Howard said that he wishes he could understand all of this but he was bored hearing about it.
Howard said that Jeff was probably really drunk and his friends had to drag him around. Artie asked Jeff if he quit smoking weed. Jeff said he didn't. Howard was going to bail on the conversation but Jeff said he was going to see Artie at the Proctor's theater. Howard thought he said ''practice'' and wondered what that was about. Artie told him that Jeff is going to be at one of his gigs up in that area.
Howard played a Jeff the Drunk prank call and a song that Jeff sang on the show after he let Jeff go. Artie was laughing pretty hard at the song.
Howard played that clip and the host was talking about politics and asking everyone to vote for Barack Obama and goofing on Bush and stuff like that. Howard said the guy sounded pretty lame to him. He said it sounded like he was just reading from the paper. Howard asked what was wrong with using Sarah Silverman again. He thought she hosted last year. Artie thought it was the movie awards.
JD told Howard about another clip where the host said something about the Jonas Brothers giving him a promise ring. Howard said he's not sure what the guy is even talking about. They talked about the promise ring and how it's supposed to be something that virgins have where they promise to be virgins and the host was joking about taking them from the virgins.
During the show there was someone who said that promise rings are fine and not everyone wants to be a slut. The host eventually apologized for his promise ring jokes and said he didn't mean to piss anyone off. Howard said the guy was really annoying.
Howard did an impression of the host and goofed on him for a minute. He told him to shut the fuck up and learn ''regular English.''
Howard asked JD if he had anything else that he should play from the awards. JD said there wasn't much. Howard played some of Rhianna performing a song but he only lasted about 5 seconds. He played some of the Jonas Brothers performance and said that sucks too.
Howard said he watched ''Shine a Light'' on DVD over the weekend and really liked it. He said that he did forward through a couple of songs but the movie was really good. He said that Martin Scorsese did a great job showing the behind the scenes stuff. Robin really liked it and Artie said that he liked some of the songs that they did with other people. He didn't think he'd like all of the songs they did but it turned out to be really good.
Howard played some of Lil Wayne's performance on the MTV Video Music Awards. He said that he didn't like that song. He said that's not his idea of fun and that song sucks. He said that maybe the rest of his songs aren't that bad but that one was.
Howard played Pink's performance from the show for a few seconds. Howard was going to play Christina Aguilera's performance but they ended up talking about her appearance in ''Shine A Light'' and how she looked like she wanted to get the hell off the stage when Mick Jagger was just about humping her.
Howard played Christina's performance at the VMAs and said she doesn't really make hit songs anymore. He said that you just wonder what the song is. He said that if she's half naked maybe it's interesting. He played some of Kid Rock's performance from the VMAs and Artie goofed on the song saying that it was Karaoke night at the VMAs.
Gary said that he thinks that Will's dad changed kilts during the wedding. Will said he didn't change kilts. Howard said that it looks like a guy in a dress. Will said he thought it was awesome. Howard asked him why he wasn't wearing one then. Will said he's not full blown Scottish like his father is. Howard said it's a dress but Will insisted it was a Kilt.
Will talked about the knife that his father had on him and how they keep some kind of purse on the front of the kilt too.
Artie said that Gary looked fat in one of the pictures they showed. Howard said that Gary eats treats and stuff and that's why he's been getting fat. Gary said that he was wearing a suit that was too small for him. Gary said that the suit that Howard got for him wasn't quite ready. Gary said that he was waiting to lose some weight before he got the suit that Howard got for him.
Howard asked Will how old his father is. Will said he's 60. Howard congratulated Will on his wedding and then moved on to talk about Ronnie having his hands on girls all the time. In one picture he was lifting up some girl in a short dress. That led to Fred playing the Scoresman clips where he talks about what he's all about.
Ronnie came in and said that he wasn't doing anything at the wedding. He said that this girl in the picture was falling over there at the wedding so that's why he was holding her. Ronnie said he didn't want to hear this shit, threw down his headphones and walked out.
Howard said that Ronnie used to complain about wanting to make appearances and now he's getting paid to make them. He said that it seems to be going to his head because of his reaction to what just went on. He said that Ronnie drives like he's crazy and he's driving really dangerous.
Ronnie came back in and said that he didn't do anything at the wedding and he was just minding his own business. He explained the picture to Howard and said that people were falling down and he grabbed the girl so she wouldn't fall on the floor. He said she just happened to be standing next to him there.
Howard said that Ronnie was hired for this Exotic Dancer Awards show out in Las Vegas. He was the Co-host of the show with Jesse Jayne. He played a clip of Ronnie and Jesse hosting the show and Ronnie asking what he was doing there. Then Ronnie said that on ''our show'' they like people to go to strip clubs and stuff like that. Howard asked Ronnie why he has to bring him into his speech like that.
Ronnie said that Howard has said that he's all for strip clubs before. Howard said that doesn't mean he wants him bringing his name into it like that. Howard told him that when he says something he constructs it a certain way for himself and not for someone else to interpret for him. Ronnie said that he didn't think there was anything wrong with it because Howard had talked about that stuff before. Howard said he was going to play that clip over and over again until he understands what he did wrong.
Howard told Ronnie that he wasn't being funny in that clip either. Ronnie said he wasn't trying to be funny, he was being serious. Howard said that Ronnie is trying to be Artie and he doesn't want him going out there and saying ''We'' in these speeches as if he's representing him. He told Ronnie he's not representing him and he doesn't want him bringing him into that stuff.
Ronnie also talked about him complaining about his driving. Howard said that he drives like a maniac but Ronnie said he's not sure what's going on with that.
Ronnie said that he had his Howard TV shut off by the In Demand people. He said he's not sure why they did that but they refuse to turn it back on.
Howard played more of the Ronnie speech and then cut it off saying he can't listen to anymore of it. He played another clip a second later and goofed on Ronnie some more. Howard had another clip of Ronnie threatening some guy as they were going back stage. Ronnie said that the guy shoved him and threw him against a wall telling him to get out of his way. Ronnie told him that if he did it again he was going to be thrown out for the night.
Howard played a clip of Ronnie back stage with Ron Jeremy and Ron thinking that Ronnie was Rev. Bob Levy. Ron didn't seem to recognize him. Ronnie was telling him that he had been on ''our show... the Howard Stern Show'' before. Howard said that this was his worst nightmare. Ron eventually recognized Ronnie and claimed that he looked different than he had in the past. Ronnie said that he knew who he was and he was just schticking it up.
Hook Nose Mike called in and asked when this became the Ronnie Mund show. Howard said that he's not sure about what Ronnie was doing but he's all carried away. Mike goofed on Ronnie a little bit but Ronnie had nothing to say back. Ronnie said that he was just wrong. Mike said that maybe Ronnie should pay for Howard TV and he could get it. Ronnie claimed he was paying for it but now he's canceled it. Howard and Mike thought it sounded like a back peddle there.
Howard took some more calls about Ronnie and let some more people goof on him. They were calling Ronnie ''Jew Hefner'' and making fun of this strip club thing that he's into.
Howard said that Ronnie has been wearing some crazy new shirts lately. Ronnie didn't know what they were talking about. Howard said that he saw him wearing a shirt with weird stripes on it. Ronnie said that he must be getting notes from Doug Goodstein. Howard said he wasn't and he noticed that stuff himself.
The caller on the line asked Ronnie how his hair dye is today. Ronnie said he's fine. Howard told him he should go darker but Ronnie didn't sound like he was going to do that.
Robin told Ronnie that his cursing has gotten out of hand. Howard played some more of Ronnie's speech where he and Ron Jeremy were up on stage at the exotic dancer awards. Ronnie wasn't saying all that much at first. Then he called Ron an ''ass wipe.'' Ronnie claimed that Ron planned that out and it wasn't his idea. Howard said he thought it was Ronnie's new word. Ronnie insisted that it wasn't.
A caller said he thinks he knows what went wrong with Ronnie. He said that Ronnie should have been up on stage with his back to the audience because he is a limo driver. No one laughed at that joke.
Another caller asked who the biggest embarrassment was at Will's wedding. Howard said he heard that it was Tim Sabean. He said he heard he was doing some strange stuff there and he was knocking people over at the wedding. The Howard TV guys showed a clip of Ronnie grabbing this chick at Will's wedding and it appeared it wasn't because she was knocked over by someone. Ronnie said that he didn't call her over, she fell into him. Everyone was seeing something different than what Ronnie was describing.
Wolfe was on the line and goofing on Ronnie about the whole thing. Ronnie was trying to goof on him talking about how boring he is.
Howard and Ronnie spent another couple of minutes talking about his trip to Vegas. Ronnie said that he was at Mandalay Bay at a topless pool one day. Howard said that Howard TV is going to have some of this stuff this week.
Howard asked Gary what's going on with Howard TV being taken away from Ronnie. Gary said he asked some people back there but they knew nothing about it. Doug Goodstein wasn't there so Gary wasn't able to ask him.
Howard played a ''Mr. Swear Man'' song parody about Ronnie and his constant cursing. Mike Gange came in after that and said that this is the first he's hearing of this Howard TV thing with Ronnie. Ronnie said it was about 6 months ago that this went down. He said that they were giving it to him for free but then they took it away and he started to pay for it. He said he decided to cancel it after about 6 months of paying for it. Ronnie was upset that he shot this reality show with them for 3 weeks and they won't give it to him for free. He said he doesn't think it's right for them to have taken it away.
Mike Gange said that the Ronnie Mund Show is going to be great because it's 30 minutes of constant goofing on Ronnie. He said they have some great stuff that they put together for the show. They have four episodes coming up in October. Ronnie said that he can't even see it because he doesn't have Howard TV. He said they're going to have a premiere party at Rick's Cabaret so they can see it there.
Doug Goodstein called in and said that they had comps for people when Howard TV first started and now it's not available. Howard said that they could comp Ronnie though. Ronnie said he doesn't want it now. Ronnie said that it's fine and he doesn't care. Artie said that he pays for it himself. Howard said that if you work there you should get it comped though. Ronnie said that he doesn't need it and he's fine with it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Ronnie about the ''Let's fuck some whores'' thing that he said which he thinks led to Scores being busted. Ronnie said that everything is his fault and he's sorry about everything.
Howard took a call from Richard Christy who was doing his Ethel impression. He said that he wanted to invite Ronnie to the AARP awards. Ronnie told Howard to hang up on Richard sand didn't seem too happy about that.
Howard said he heard that they have tape of Ronnie sleeping in the hallway there. Gange said they have a lot of footage of him nodding off in the hallway there. He said that Ronnie kept blaming the lights. He said that Ronnie is old and it must be hard to stay awake there. He said they have 20-30 clips of him sleeping in different spots.
Howard said that Lisa G caught Ronnie dead asleep last week. Lisa came in and said that she found him in Scott's studio fast asleep. She felt bad reporting on it so she just left it alone. She said that he must be having a wild life outside of work if he's sleeping there. Howard asked Lisa why he was even in Scott's studio. That's where Ronnie hangs out and sits down.
Lisa said that was the first time she ever saw Ronnie sleeping. She said that he must be working hard. Howard said that it was 7:28 and he had to take a break. Howard said that Brad Garrett was stopping by today. Lisa said she heard that he was having a live colonoscopy done on TV or he did have it done already. Howard said that Katie Couric already did that live on TV.
Howard asked Ronnie why he's so tired all the time. Ronnie said he's not partying or on drugs or anything like that. Robin asked what's going on with the shirts lately. They talked about how he changed from mock turtle necks to collared shirts that look wild. He was wearing one that the guys said even Yucko the Clown wouldn't wear. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard had Brad Garrett come in after that. Brad's show ''Til Death'' starts it's next season this week. Brad came in talking about the Ronnie thing and quickly changed to the presidential election. They spent a minute on that and then Brad talked about the shiner he was sporting this morning. He said that everything was under control but didn't explain how he got the black eye.
Brad asked what's going on with Ronnie and then saw Robin and told her she looks unbelievable. He also told Artie that it looks like he put down the spoon and picked up a sandwich. Brad said that he never got into the Heroin.
Brad asked Howard about why he's getting married. Howard said that Brad just got divorced and he's still healing from that. Howard read that Brad is paying $20,000 a month in child support. Brad said that he wishes that's what it was.
Howard said that Brad said that he was lonely after the divorce but Brad told Howard that was shtick. Howard said that Brad has done the ultimate. He said that he developed a show where he's going to date on TV. Brad said that he heard from Ray Romano and he was saying that they should call it ''Brad Wants Pussy'' instead.
Brad said that he's dating now and seeing Tootie from Facts of Life. He said he doesn't do strippers or actresses. Brad said he heard from a friend that Beth was mesmerized by the buttons in an elevator. Howard just laughed that off.
Brad asked Howard why he's getting married. Howard said that he and Beth have been together for 8 years no wand neither of them want kids. He said that you either develop a relationship or you don't. He said they enjoy each other's company and he felt strongly that they were going to be together for a long time so he thought it was the right time. He said that he has been with a lot of women and he didn't click with any of them like he clicks with Beth.
Brad said that there's no reason to go through with the wedding if they were getting along. Howard said that Beth never bothered him about getting married, it was his idea to do this and he hopes that it lasts forever.
Howard and Robin both said that Brad will get married again too. Brad said that the world is full of great girls and there's no reason to marry. Brad said that Howard has a lot of anger inside, just look at what he did to Ronnie today. Brad said that he thinks that it's the big Jew/little penis thing that's causing the anger. Bread said he knows that because that's his problem.
Brad asked Robin what she would do if she had her own show and could stop kissing the white man's ass. Then he was going off on Lisa G who he saw out in the hall asking about what was going on. Brad said that he could see Howard being with someone like her. Artie said that he's with her so Brad asked if she has a good gravy recipe or something.
Brad said that this show he's doing only got 27 entries. He said they had it online for 3 months and that's all they got. He said that they're going to air it on Crackle.com.
Brad said he's not thinking that he's going to meet someone special through this thing. He said that the people who did upload their videos were wonderful people. He said that one had skin like ivory, which means tusks. He said that one had a tail.
Brad asked Robin why she was moving the way she was in her chair and then asked her if she's dating a white man. Robin said she's not with anyone right now.
Brad said that he thinks that Artie is an amazing comic. He said that he's followed him into a couple of rooms and he's really amazing. Artie thought he was kidding but it sounded like Brad was serious.
Brad asked Howard about what's so great about Beth. Howard said that she's beautiful, she's great in bed, she's the only person who can spend so much time with him and still enjoys it. Howard said that he doesn't go out that much so they spend a ton of time together.
Howard said that Beth was willing to go to bed with him at 9 o'clock at night. Howard said he has to get up at 4 in the morning to get to work. Brad said that he didn't know he had to do that. Brad asked Robin if she would go out with him. Robin said she would.
Artie said that Robin is going through every white comic that comes through there. Brad didn't know about Jim Florentine dating Robin.
Howard asked Brad what kind of money he's making on this show of his. Brad said he's got balls asking him about what kind of money people make when he makes the kind of money he makes.
Howard told Bread about Beth doing this running and how she'll go out and do 10 miles and then come home. Brad said that it's amazing that she comes back after running. Brad asked Howard if he can come to his wedding and try to save him from the whole thing. Howard told him he could come.
Brad said that he's seeing someone right now but he wasn't saying who she was. He said that she's younger than him. He wouldn't say how old she was at first. Then he said that she was 39 but Howard thought he was lying. Brad said that he wasn't lying. He said that she won't marry him because she doesn't believe in marriage either.
Howard read that Brad is paying $55,000 a month to his ex-wife. Brad said that he and his ex are best friends even after the divorce. That's why she's part of this internet TV show she's doing.
Howard got a picture of the girl Brad is dating. Brad told Howard that it wasn't the girl he's dating. He said that she's a lady of the evening and he's her gentleman caller. He said that's why he hates the paparazzi. Howard asked if it was really his girl. Brad said that's someone he dated almost a year ago and she's almost married to someone else now.
Howard talked to Brad about going to therapy. Brad didn't give a lot of details. Howard asked him if he's a sex addict like David Duchovny is. Brad said that Mr. Duchovny is only a sex addict because he was caught. Brad said that he goes to therapy 3 times a day. He said that he barely has time to work.
Howard gave Brad some plugs for his show ''Til Death'' and said that he show is very funny and Brad is very funny. Howard said that he's also on ''Dating Brad Garrett'' on Crackle.com this month. He said that premieres on September 15th.
Howard talked to Brad a little more about Ronnie the Limo Driver and then gave him some more plugs for his TV show. They talked about ''Til Death'' and how it's premiering on Wednesday night on FOX. Howard took a call from someone doing an impression of Ray Romano. He was calling Brad the biggest douche out there. Howard cut him off and took a couple more calls after that. One guy said that he saw Brad at the Paramount in Aurora and he was giving the people a hard time in the front row of the show. The guy said that Brad is one of the best comedians out there. brad told the guy to get out more.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he likes the verbal backhands that Brad is giving. Brad asked Howard if he would ever do Til Death. Howard said he won't' do it but maybe he should ask Beth to do it. Howard said he's not good on those types of shows. Howard said that he doesn't do well and he doesn't want to play himself on those shows. Howard said that he would rather play a vampire or something like that.
Howard gave Brad some more plugs and talked about the girls he dates on this dating show. Brad said that he's seeing a girl who is just 5'3'' tall and he's 6'8'' himself. The guys brought in another picture of Bread with a woman and that was the girl he was dating. Brad said that she really is 39 and she's so smart that he thinks that she's going to leave him.
Brad was goofing on Artie about his sweating by just reading the paper this morning. Howard told Brad that he's trying to get off his Subutex and he's detoxing from that stuff. Brad said that he's 11 years sober now himself. He said that he loves being sober. He said that Artie will be brilliant when he's sober and do even better now than when he was wasted. Artie wasn't sure if he was being serious.
Brad said that he was a drinker and he was drinking this special drink called ''Everything.'' He said he was a very high functioning drunk but he got tired of trying to kill himself with that stuff.
Artie said that he's sober when he's at work but Brad didn't believe that. He told Artie that it's better on the other side and he doesn't want to hear him saying he just had a glass of beer or a glass of wine. He told him not to waste his time with that. Howard said that this is good advice coming from Brad.
Howard said that he thinks that Brad got through to Artie about how he thinks he won't be as funny if he's not wasted. Artie said that Brad is being patronizing and he's never seen him before. Brad said that he actually saw Artie on the Dice show one time and he thought that Artie was brilliant. He said that he's not just blowing smoke up his ass.
Brad said that things will be much better for Artie when he does shows completely sober. He said that he can't be on anything though and he has to avoid drinking, drugs and all of that stuff. Howard asked Artie if he's ready for that. Artie told Brad that he was wasted that night he saw him with Dice.
Brad said that it's awesome that Artie continues to work through all of this and he thinks that people love him. Artie said that he's in therapy and he goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Brad didn't believe him. Howard asked Artie if he went last week. Artie said that the shrink canceled on Thursday. He said he will be going this week and he's going tomorrow. Brad said that he thinks he's going to avoid it.
Brad changed subjects back to Howard and his upcoming marriage. Howard said that if things go wrong then they'll just get a divorce. He said they'll get out if it doesn't work out. Brad asked Howard if he's that naive that he believes what these women tell him. Howard said that he is naive and he even believes that Artie is in therapy.
Artie showed Brad his new assistant whose picture he got this morning. Brad told him that's going to make him go right back on the smack. He told him he shouldn't hire a chick that has an 8x10 glossy of herself.
Howard wrapped up with Brad and gave him a few more plugs. Then he took one last call from Irish John who said that Brad sounds like he's jealous of Howard's life. He goofed on him for a minute and said that he just sucks. Howard ended the interview a short time later and went to break.
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman claiming that she had woken them up when they actually woke her up. Fred played some Matchbox 20 ''Smooth'' as they were coming back.
Howard had Gary the Retard on the phone to talk about the Wack Pack at the Christy's special that's coming up on Howard TV soon. Gary said that he got to squeeze a cow's tits and liked that because it felt like he was squeezing a girl's tittie. Artie kept referring to Gary as a retard so Gary kept telling him to shut up.
Howard asked Gary if he jerked off thinking about the cow tittie. Gary said he doesn't do that. Howard asked him if he jerks off at all. Gary claims that he doesn't do it at all. Howard said that he has to jerk off. Gary said that he doesn't do it anymore. Gary told Artie to go home and jerk off himself.
Gary said that he's also tired of Eric the Midget or Eric the Actor. Howard asked Gary if he's voting this year in the election. Gary said that he's not voting.
Howard asked Gary if he's still smoking. Gary claims he's not but Sal and Richard caught him in a lie when they prank called him and offered him free cigarettes. He played the call where they called up as various people like Howard Stern. In the call they fooled him into admitting he still smokes. They called him a few times as other people and fooled him into admitting that he's still smoking.
Gary said that they did catch him in those calls but he doesn't smoke all that much now. He was also saying that he has this girl calling him a lot at home now and he's under a lot of stress. He said that this girl that he was seeing a while back keeps calling him asking for money. Gary said that he has this other guy asking him to do stuff on the internet all the time and he doesn't want to do that either. Howard said he might have to take care of this because he doesn't like it when people take advantage of Gary. He said he's going to have Baba Booey call him and find out what's going on.
Howard told Gary that if he doesn't want to do the internet show then he shouldn't do it. Gary said that he wouldn't have anyone to help him get around if he doesn't do what this guy Bob tells him to do. Artie said no one cares. Gary told him to shut up again. Howard let him go after that. He had to get to Lisa Lampanelli.
Lisa said that she went to rehab for her food issues and it turns out that she hasn't raged against anyone since she got out 93 days ago. She said that she thought she was going to go into a fat camp but it turned out to be a bunch of skinny bitches and a couple of fat ones. She said that they were forcing the skinny girls to eat and she accidentally followed their rules for a little while.
Lisa said that she got yelled at for staying on the treadmill for 20 minutes. She said that they had them up from 5:45 in the morning and she was there for 28 days.
Lisa said that there were 17 chicks in the group and there were only 3 chicks who were fat. She said that she was the skinniest of the fat chicks so she thought that was pretty funny. The rehab center was in Arizona and she can't say the name of it because she thinks that they listen out there because they all seemed to know who she was.
Lisa said that she was in rehab for this co-dependency on black people. She's gone 7 months without a boyfriend at this point. Lisa said that she has to take a whole year off from dating men now.
Lisa said that she doesn't really bother with porn or anything. She said that she saw a black guy at the Friar's club last week and she went home and whacked it to him real quick and she was done. She said she's really fast at doing that stuff too. Howard asked if she does it completely naked. Lisa said she can't do that, she has to leave something to her imagination.
Howard said that he heard Lisa was yelling at people at her shows. Lisa said that she had a lot of rage in her and she yelled about someone back stage one night. She said that the ushers were having a meeting and this usher shushed her. She said that the girl may not have recognized her and she was going to get her kicked out of there. She got the promoter and told the guy to kick her ass out of there. Lisa said that she did get kicked out but the girl was claiming she called her a cunt to her face and she really didn't do that.
Lisa said that she's been trying to lose weight but it's not coming off very fast. She said that she hates going to the gym so she doesn't do that. She has taken up dancing but it's all in private. She said that she's going to be doing a dance number at her Radio City Music Hall appearance on September 13th.
Lisa said that she likes where she's at right now and if she could stay there she'd be fine. She was saying that if she waits too long to get laid she may end up being 75 and running out of snatch juice. Robin said that she still has plenty of snatch juice at her age.
Lisa said that 3 of her ex-boyfriends have died in the past year. She said that one of them was her ex-husband. One guy died from jaw cancer and another one died from being 390 pounds. She said that someone asked her why he died and she said that it was because he was 390 pounds.
Lisa told Howard that she had to pay for her rehab herself. She was in there and this one chick was really into her and she was just an ugly lesbian.
Howard asked Lisa how Jim Carrey found her and hooked up with her on this new TV show. Lisa said that they're with the same talent agency. She said that Jim knew who she was and he came to see her at a show last August. She said that she got a call from Jim and she thought it was great when he actually called himself. Lisa said that Jim liked her and wanted to develop a show with her. Lisa said they got together in L.A. at a production office. She said that she showed up an hour early to that first meeting.
Lisa said that Jim has like 5 assistants and stuff. Howard said he must be worth a ton of money. Lisa aid that she's happy to be worth like $100,000. Howard said that Lisa is going to get to work with the genius of Jenny McCarthy.
Robin said that she saw some of the ''Disaster Movie'' that Jenny McCarthy did and it was awful. Lisa said that she has to keep her mouth shut about that until her show gets picked up.
Lisa said that she and Jim talked about the kind of show they were going to do and they've worked on it and it's very dark. She said that it's about the comedy club scene and it's dark in the same way that ''Rescue Me'' is dark. She said that they should be shooting the pilot for HBO this fall. She said that she's been taking acting classes and working on playing herself.
Lisa said that in the first scene she just had sex and this guy is telling her that she's too old for him and stuff like that. She said that she's not sure that Jim will be in the show but there is a character based on him. She said that she's going to get all fat if the show takes off.
Lisa said that she and Jim have gotten together about 9 times to discuss this show. She said that she really doesn't get together outside of that stuff though.
Howard said that Lisa is doing a radio show tonight on Howard 101 called ''Ask Lisa'' at 7pm. Lisa said that this is her second special and she wants people to learn from her on that show.
Howard said that he heard that Lisa goofed on a girl in rehab so much that she wanted to kill herself. Lisa said that she didn't like the girl from the start and no one liked her. She said that she told the girl to go sit over at another table because she didn't want to sit near her. She said that she had to say something to her at the next meeting and said something that she felt pain and anger when she didn't want to sit with someone at dinner. The other girl knew it was her and said something so Lisa said something back to her and said that no one liked her and everyone wanted her out of there. Lisa said that she left the room and went back in a short time later to make amends and the girl had taken a bunch of pills trying to kill herself. She said she didn't even die.
Howard gave Lisa some more plugs for her show tonight and for her Radio City Music Hall show that's coming up on Saturday. Lisa said that she's going to be doing a dance number during the show. She's also doing a taping for an HBO special in November. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster.com. You can find out more about Lisa at InsultComic.com.
Howard said he hopes that Lisa doesn't give up roasting because she's so good at it. Lisa said she's not giving that up. She said it was just the Saget thing she had to pass on. Howard gave her some more plugs and wrapped up with her a short time later.
Howard said he knows the guy is being charged with a crime but he's not sure what the charge is. Gary said that he's being charged with impersonation and theft of services.
After all of that Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that Janks is being accused of not showing up for another appearance. Janks claims it's not true. There's also a story about Sal doing an interview for Penthouse magazine. Steve also said they have an interview with Sam Simon about Ralph puking at Howard's Hampton's house. Steve said that Sam got a laugh out of that story.
Howard said that Ralph has come to their house and broken stuff before, just like he apparently did at Sam Simon's house. Howard said Sam was laughing because the same thing happened to him. Steve said that Sam always speaks very highly of Ralph.
Artie said that he thinks that Sam was being sarcastic in the interview. He said that Sam is probably sarcastic in all of his life. Artie told Howard to listen to the report and he'll hear what he heard. Howard said he thinks that Sam is afraid of losing Ralph as a friend.
Gary said that the Joba Chamberlain guy that was downstairs may have been an impersonator of the impersonator. He said they got the wrong number from him and he wasn't down there when they went down to get him. Howard said that they may have been scammed by a Joba Chamberlain impersonator impersonator.
Howard said that Gary had a guy impersonating him and he was banging chicks based on who he was pretending to be. Gary said that some people thought he was raping them but he was just telling them that he could get them on the show if they slept with him. He technically wasn't raping them.
Artie said that he met a chick who thought he was Andy Richter one time and he banged the chick with her thinking that he was Andy. Artie said that he never told her that he wasn't Andy Richter so she may still think that she slept with Andy.
Artie said that the chick was a Secaucus 7 but actually just a 5. He said that he's no great catch either though. Artie said that he met her at Rigley Field and they ended up making out at this bar they were at. He said that he started squeezing her breasts over by the bathroom like they were at her apartment or something. He said that she fell for this nonsense that he was telling her. He was trying to make another guy laugh and she fell for it. She never got that he was joking around.
Howard said that Artie's body guard, JC, got laid after he had a chick who thought he was actually Artie. Howard said the guy told the story on the air before but he had him give a quick synopsis of that again. JC said that he was laughing at the comment Artie gave about her being a Secaucus 7. Howard asked if the chick he had was hot. JC said that she was. Howard thanked him and got to Jon Hein.
Jon Hein gave his Wrap Up Show preview and ran through the list of stuff that they were going to try and cover today. That led to Howard talking about how he doesn't want to screw up the marriage with Beth and Brad Garrett came in there telling him that he's nuts to get married again. Howard said he thinks he's doing something good for himself with this marriage.
Howard said that he had a dream about cheating on Beth and going back to tell her. Artie asked Howard if he would really do that. Howard said he would. Artie asked him if they had a bachelor party for him and he ends up banging a chick there, would he tell Beth. Howard said that he would have to. He said he made her a promise that if he fucks up, he's going to be honest about it. He said that it would mean that he's not happy. He said that there will be no hard feelings that way. Artie said there will be hard feelings. Howard said of course there will.
The guys told Howard he can't tell Beth the truth about cheating. It just won't work like that. Artie said that he thinks that stuff would be better left unsaid. Artie asked Howard why he would tell her something like that when he could just call it off instead. Howard said he would have to tell her the truth about why he was breaking up.
Benjy asked Howard what he would do if Beth came to him and said that she slept with someone. Howard said that it would be over and she'd be out. He said that if she wanted to bring a girl into bed one night then it might be okay with him.
Howard said that Hanzi claims that he got laid when he told a stripper that he was a rap star. Hanzi was on the phone and told the story and said that it was just a one shot deal. He said that he has no money to go to a strip club anymore.
Howard said that Hanzi doesn't sound right and he sounds like he's upset or something. Artie said that he does sound kind of odd. Benjy said that Hanzi called him the other night and asked him to talk to his mom about something they're doing on the show soon. He's going to be involved in this segment and his mom isn't happy about it.
Howard asked Hanzi why he would have to call his mother. Hanzi is 25 years old and his mother is afraid that they're going to take advantage of him. Howard said that they're just trying to help Hanzi get laid. He told Hanzi not to lie to his mother about what's going on. Hanzi said that he still lives in her house so he has to do what she wants. Howard ended up goofing on Hanzi about living at home and ''under her floor.''
Benjy said that he will call Hanzi's mom if he wants. Howard told him not to bother, Hanzi is 25 and should be able to handle it. Hanzi said that he wants to stay in the airport until the morning when the show starts. Artie aid that people do that all the time.
Jon Hein got back to his Wrap Up Show preview and ran through the rest of the stuff he hadn't gotten to. They played a Scoresman bit where they had Ronnie talking about what he was all about with Star Jones' ex-husband Al Reynolds talking about what he's all about too.
Howard played a clip from a porn movie where this German guy was growling during sex. Howard said that Richard found that clip. He played it real quick and had the guys laughing.
Ralph called in and said that he banged a girl who thought he was in the band Trixter. He said that she thought he was in the band but he kept telling her that he wasn't. She ended up banging him after he told her he was in the band. She saw him a few weeks later and said that he wasn't the guy in Trixter. Ralph said that he told her that he tried to tell her that the night she was with him. Ralph said that the chick really fucked the shit out of him that night too.
Artie said that there are some really desperate chicks out there and he once told a girl that he wrote ''Silence of the Lambs'' and she believed him. He said that there are guys out there who have great raps about that kind of stuff in L.A.
Gary came in and told Howard that they have the Joba Chamberlain impersonator out there. Howard said it was too late but caved in and told him to bring him in. His real name was Ryan. Artie said that he does look like Joba Chamberlain.
Howard asked Ryan how it all got started. Joba said that it all started when someone came up to him and thought he was Joba. Howard said it must have been fun at first. Ryan said that he banged between 60-100 chicks who thought he was Joba. Howard said he'd feel guilty if he did something like that.
Ryan said that Joba wants to meet him to try and understand why he'd do something like that. Ryan said that he was charged with disorderly conduct one time because he took a free bagel. He said that they wanted to lock him up for a $1.50 bagel. He was also signing stuff as Joba and impersonating him that way. He said he never sold anything as Joba though.
Ryan said that he got a PBA card from a cop who thought he was Joba too. He said that he's unemployed right now and he's looking for a lawyer who is willing to take this on. He mentioned Dominic Barbara and wondered if he wanted to take it on.
Gary said that the NY Post is arranging the meeting with Joba and he doesn't think that Joba wants to meet him to shake his hand. He said he probably wants to yell at him. Howard asked Ryan about the girls he was banging and if they were hot. Ryan said they were 10s and 13s.
Artie said that these chicks are all whores and the only reason they'd be banging Joba is because he's on the Yankees. He said that he knows the area where Ryan was getting these chicks and they are hot out there. He said that they're also dumb.
Howard asked Ryan if he regrets doing this. Ryan said that it was fun and he seemed to think it was worth it. Artie said that with the chicks he was getting it may have been worth it. He said that the girls he was with were using him because of who they thought he was so he was using them in the same way.
Ryan said that he saw Artie down in Delaware one time and saw him making out with his friend. Artie said that this chick was really hot and he had a lot of hot chicks around him. Howard had to wrap up with him a short time later.
Robin read a story about a hot air balloon that crashed and killed at least one person over the weekend. Howard said that the hot air balloon was invented to fly when there were no airplanes. He said there's no reason to fly in a hot air balloon now. Robin talked about the time she went up in one and how awful it was. She said that she didn't know why she was standing there with fire right next to her.
Robin read a story about how women trust people they see in the movies more than they trust their own families. Robin had some news about the MTV Video Music Awards. She read through some stuff and had Howard playing some clips from the show. JD came in to tell the guys about why Katy Perry was singing ''Like a Virgin'' instead of one of her songs. JD said that they were doing a karaoke-like thing with a house band and that's what she performed. Howard thanked the mumble mouth for the explanation.
Robin had a story about Gary Coleman getting into some kind of strange car accident. She read through that story where Coleman ended up backing into this guy who was trying to get a picture with him. She had a story about Jon Bon Jovi and the work he's been doing to raise money for Barack Obama's campaign.
Robin had some stories about some killings over in Pakistan, Sarah Palin refusing to do interviews and being snubbed by Oprah Winfrey. She also had a story about the government taking over Fannie May and Freddie Mac. Howard said he didn't understand that story at all.
Robin had a story about porn star Janine Lindemulder and how she's been locked up in jail and she's got a $200,000 bail. Artie heard that and said that he's willing to bail her out. When Robin told Artie the story he said he's still willing to pick up the bill. Howard said that he'd be willing to fuck Artie for $300,000.
Robin had some news about Kelly Pickler, P. Diddy, Tom Brady being out for the start of the season and a few other things. Artie got a laugh out of the Tom Brady story. Robin wrapped up her news a short time later and Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
Jon went through the list of stuff they were going to cover today and led off with the Ronnie ''Jew Hefner'' Mund segment. Jon asked the guys if they think that Ronnie has changed the way Howard said he has. Gary said that he's not sure about the Jew Hefner description but he is very social.
Jon said that Ronnie was accused of picking up that girl but he wanted to know from Gange what he saw. Gange said that he's not sure of exactly what went on. Gary said that Ronnie wasn't being truthful about Ronnie just holding the woman up, he was holding on to her too.
Benjy said that he thinks that Tim Sabean is the one whose name Ronnie wouldn't mention during that segment. He didn't think that Ronnie was doing anything that crazy at the wedding because she seemed to be having fun too. Mike Gange said that it was her idea to get lifted up so she did appear to be having fun. Gary said he didn't think that she wanted to be lifted up, they just did it.
Jon said that Ronnie couldn't win this morning based on all of the stuff that was being said this morning. Jason said that he thinks that Ronnie was the life of the party and he wasn't being a dick at the party or anything. He said that there were more inappropriate people at the party than Ronnie. Jason said he won't mention names of people who employ him.
Jason said that Sal was quiet but he wasn't well behaved. He said that the was leaching on all of the girls at the party. He said that Sal put his arm around him at one point and told him about Doug's wife being so beautiful and great and he just wanted him to get off of him.
Gary said that the chicks love that bad bullshit that Sal lays on the girls. Gange said that Doug likes ditching Marlo on people so that worked out well with Sal sitting there and talking to her for so long. Doug was able to go off and do his thing while Sal took care of her. Gary said that some people don't want Sal around and they made it clear.
Benjy didn't get to the wedding and explained that it was too long of a drive for him. He said that he'll make sure he will adjust his schedule to fit in Howard's wedding though.
Benjy claimed he really likes Will but Jason said that Benjy is giving a lame excuse for not going to Will's wedding and he's really an asshole. Will said that he was disappointed that he didn't come but he's not mad at him. Will said that Benjy was asking about who from the show was going to be there and also asked if there were going to be hot chicks at the wedding.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he just ordered Howard TV last night because he's looking forward to Ronnie's new show on there. Ronnie showed up around that time. He said that they should have waited for him to get there before starting this stuff. Ronnie said that he didn't do anything with that chick at the wedding but Howard was making it seem like he instigated the whole thing.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thought the Jew Hefner thing was a good description for him. Ronnie didn't think so but he said someone outside already called him that so it's catching on already.
Jon played a clip of Ronnie and Howard going at it earlier in the show. He played the clip where Howard told Ronnie it's not ''we'' when he goes out to these appearances.
Ronnie said that there are other people on the show who say ''we'' when they talk about the show. He said they don't get ripped for doing that stuff.
Gary said that maybe Ronnie should take a step back and look at this as Howard just doing it to get a rise out of him. Ronnie said that Howard never has his back on anything. Gary said there has to be something that Howard had his back on. He said that the audience must know of some moment. He asked people to call in if they could think of one.
Ronnie said that he's been trying to stay out of driving the car for Howard lately so he's been having other guys drive him.
Jon brought up the Howard TV problem and how he had his free Howard TV taken away from him. Ronnie said that he had the comped stuff for about a year and then Scott the Engineer got upset because he didn't have it comped. Then one day Ronnie said his was shut off so he checked into it with Doug. Doug told him he'd look into it but he never heard anything back. He said he paid for it himself for a while and then gave up on it. Gary and Jon said that they have to pay for it themselves too.
Mike Gange said that he's not sure why they took it away from Ronnie. He said that they tried to get comps for people and if he already had it, they shouldn't have taken it away. He said he's not sure why he was singled out because no one else had that problem as far as he knows.
Jon said that Howard also talked about Ronnie's shirts and how he wore a striped shirt last week instead of a solid colored one. He said that he doesn't tell anyone what to wear so they shouldn't tell him. Gary said that it was very colorful and it was something that changed drastically after 20 years. Jason said it looked like a crayon box that threw up all over his shirt. Ronnie told him not to talk about wardrobe.
Ronnie said that he wore a black shirt the next day and they were calling him Johnny Cash so he can't win. Jason pointed out that Ronnie busts balls in the hall all the time. Ronnie said that he gets his balls busted a lot out there in the halls more than he does.
The guys were talking about Ronnie falling asleep in the halls too. Ronnie said that he doesn't sleep in the halls there. Ronnie said that he did go into the green room last week toward the end of a show and it couldn't have been more than 30 seconds or maybe a minute. He said that Richard woke him up with an air horn and almost gave him a heart attack.
Lisa Lampanelli said that everyone gets their balls busted there and that's what happens when you work for the Stern Show. She said that she thinks that it's just the job.
Gary said that Ronnie loves to break balls and maybe that's why people break his balls. Ronnie said that he doesn't break Gary's balls or Jon's balls there. Jon said that Ronnie will do that once in a while. Jason said that he doesn't have his balls broken much lately either. Ronnie said that JD is the only one he really busts balls with. He said that he and JD have something that they do and they both hate each other.
Jon asked Ronnie if anyone was out of control at the wedding. Ronnie said he wasn't going there. He said that if some others want to talk about it they can. The guys said that nothing bad really happened. Gary said it wasn't like anyone sprayed a fire extinguisher at the wedding.
Jon asked Gary if he was surprised that Artie commented on how fat he looked. Gary said that this is the only show where a 300 pound man can comment on fat he is.
A caller thought that Benjy was low budget for not showing up at the wedding. Benjy said that he's sorry he feels that way but there's nothing he can do to change his mind.
Gary said that he works with Will every day and he can't imagine not going to the wedding. Benjy said that if it was at night and in New York, he would have gone. He said he has to stick to his sleep schedule or it screws him up. Jason said that they all have a tough schedule and they can all figure out how to make it work. Benjy can't do that though.
Benjy said he didn't think it was that big of a deal and asked if they did. Gary said that you should make a sacrifice for something like that.
Gary said that someone called in and said that they were very close to getting sucked into Benjy's vortex and the guy was probably right so they were going to avoid getting into it any deeper.
The guys talked about Will's father dressing up in a kilt for a minute. they also had a bag pipe player there but they kept him outside. Gary said that's where he belonged.
A caller asked Ronnie if he thinks that he'd get as much shit if he was taller. Ronnie said that it would be just one less thing they could goof on him about.
Ralph asked about Artie having a guy watching over him too. Gary said they kind of glossed over that today. He said that Artie asked the guy to watch him for the weekend and he's kind of like Smokey to John Belushi.
Tim Sabean came in and explained his behavior at the wedding and said that he's under a lot of pressure there and he let loose at the wedding. Tim said he was out with friends that he enjoyed and had some fun there.
Gary said that they had a photo booth at the wedding and they were all taking pictures. At one point Gary said he felt himself being pushed into the wall and it was Tim pushing them. They ripped the paper in the back behind them. Will said the guy was great and he's a big fan of the show.
Gary said that he heard that some chick had a cell phone in her hands and Tim grabbed it and threw it into the woods. He told her that she shouldn't be on a phone during a wedding and tossed it. Sal was able to help her find the phone.
Sal came in so the guys talked about what he was up to at the wedding. Jason talked about how creepy Sal was with Marlo there at the wedding and how he stayed away from him after that. Sal said he was just being nice to Marlo and he wasn't being creepy at all. Sal said that he's not a creepy, racists stalker like they're making him out to be. He said they're really stretching it now. Gary said that they all know him so when they see him talking to their wives, he shows some insincerity. Sal said that he's being nice to them. He said he fantasized about Gary's wife being bent over and he could have jacked off to her right there but he was nice to her instead.
Sal said he can be a gentleman but the guys told him that the creepiness leaks out. Gary said that his wife likes Sal even with those creepy comments.
Sal asked Jason if he thinks he did anything inappropriate at the wedding. Jason said he didn't. Sal kept asking him if he had anything he could think of. Sal said that Jason was going outside and doing something outside that made his pupils smaller and smaller. Jason said that he may have been doing something outside but Sal accompanied him. Sal said that he did but he didn't partake in any of that. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said that Sal is on his best behavior when he's around people he has to behave in front of. Lisa said that Sal is just trying to get attention from women and she understands that.
Lisa said that she's been on the show about 7 or 8 times now and she's pretty comfortable in there. She said that Howard never got on her case so she thinks that he thinks she's just funny and doesn't care about her weight or anything like that.
Jon asked Lisa if she thinks twice about what she says now or anything. She said that the new show she's doing with Jim Carrey is for HBO so they should be safe. She said that she did have one thought about today's appearance when she mentioned Autism and about it meaning retarded. She's afraid that she's going to get a call today from her agent telling her that Carrey is out because of that comment.
The guy stalked about Brad Garrett's appearance today. They talked about Brad going off on Howard today about getting married. They were talking about if they thought Garrett was being serious or not.
Benjy was also talking about Garrett talking about Garrett going off on Artie about his rehab and stuff like that. He said that it wasn't clear if he was being serious about all of the stuff he was saying to Artie or not.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Artie has to be commended for getting off of the Subutex. Gary said that he understands why Artie didn't go to the wedding this weekend now that he knows that he was trying to get off of that stuff and had to hire someone to keep him at home.
Another caller said that Brad Garrett reminds him of an attack Jew like Richard Lewis. The guys said that they didn't even know that he was a Jew. Lisa said she thinks that Brad may be on the offensive when he goes in there and that's why he's the way he is in there.
Another caller said that she wants to spank Lisa. The guys told him he'll have to wait a year before she'll be dating again.
Jon took some more calls and more guys were talking about how they want to date Lisa. Lisa told one guy to e-mail her and maybe she'll contact him when her year is up. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about how he had a lot of meetings today. He said he's not into them and gets bored with them. He didn't have anyone's microphones on so he said that his psychiatrist would tell him that he didn't want any of them on air.
Howard said that someone was calling in about the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles show that started its second season last night. Howard missed it but he heard it was good. Howard said that he was watching America's Got Talent. He said that they put through a 4 year old who is kind of cute but not all that talented. He said he's had enough of that.
Fred said he was watching Larry King last night and none of that stuff. Howard said that he thinks he's going to stop watching that show. He said he gets angry when he watches it. He said the directing is bad and he hates that Jerry Springer has a legitimate job. Fred said that's the worst part of the show. Fred said it's even worse than Ryan Seacrest having a show.
Howard said he hopes he has a copy of the Terminator show. He said he did watch rest of the first episode of True Blood on HBO. He said he's hooked in now that he's watched the rest of that show. He said he'll be back to watch that show.
Howard said that it's not something that he would do himself and he was just interested in finding out what it's all about. Howard said that he wants to tell Dennis to go home because he must have called the Daily News and told them this story.
Howard told Gary to call Dennis and ask him not to come in. He said that he's really not interested in this and he's rubbed the wrong way by the whole thing. Howard said that he looks bad having these people on the show.
Gary came in and said that he thinks that you kind of have to expect that kind of thing with Dennis because that's what he's all about. He's out to promote his Bunny Ranch.
Howard read the article to the guys and they said that he's ''kicking off'' the auction of this virgin and that's not the case. He said he's not kicking anything off. He has nothing to do with the whole virgin thing.
Howard read some more of the article and he didn't like any of what it said. He said that the title of the article was Howard Stern in virgin territory and Robin said that was the most damaging thing about the whole article.
Howard said that the article was saying that they're going to be auctioning off the girl on the show but that's not true either. The guys talked about how it wasn't really that clear in the article about what was going on.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks that these stories demonize him even more. Howard said that his every day life is effected when this kind of stuff is in the paper. He has a 15 year old daughter who might read this kind of nonsense. He said they wouldn't even say anything to him but he knows that they believe stuff they read in the paper and he doesn't want to defend himself to something in the paper that's not true. Howard said that it's just a bummer to him when that stuff is in the paper.
The caller asked Howard if he has ever dick slapped Beth. Howard said he hasn't but the guy kept asking him about it. Howard said he never did it and he didn't get why the guy was asking about it.
Howard said that this girl who is coming in today might be having her virginity auctioned off but he doesn't have anything to do with it, he's just going to interview them about the auction. He didn't organize it himself.
Gary asked where they stand on it. Howard said he wants to say no to Dennis but he is booked already. Howard said that he's really annoyed with the whole thing. Gary said that they have another contest in the works with Dennis in about a month. That was going to be the Biggest Loser contest. Howard told Gary to cancel it. He said he's had enough of this whole thing.
Robin said that Artie might be upset because he's eating. Howard was getting upset because he couldn't see the callers on the line. He had to ask the guys in the office to fix it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has to stop listening to Beth complaining about the show. Howard told the guy that she wasn't complaining, she was just telling him about the article. Howard told the guy to fuck off and hung up on him. He said he's sick of these fucks in his audience.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that maybe it's just a big play on words from Dennis and she's not really a virgin. Howard said he doesn't know and he doesn't want to get caught up in that stuff. Artie said that was some convoluted logic right there.
Howard took another call and the guy brought up the MTV awards and said that JD has gotten lazy in his job. He said the host of the show wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. He said if he had played stuff from earlier in the show it would have made more sense. Howard said he saw the show from the beginning and it was bad and JD did just fine.
Howard talked about how the guy that was hosting didn't have any jokes, he was just making statements about the country and stuff like that. He wasn't funny at all according to Howard. Howard said that the awards are a joke now and they're just horrible. He said that they invite the bands on the show and don't even let them finish a song. He said the Jonas Brothers are a joke and for the teeny boppers. He also said that Britney Spears isn't relevant anymore but they gave her a bunch of awards.
Howard took another call from a guy who gave him a ''Wahhh!'' about the whole virgin auction. He asked Howard if it's really that outrageous. Howard said he doesn't mind taking credit for what he does. He said that this auction is not about him and it's all Dennis Hof. Howard said he would never auction off a virgin on his show.
Robin said that Howard is shot out of a cannon this morning after all of this. Howard said that of course he is. He woke up this morning in a good mood but that article upset him.
Howard said that he got laid last night and was in a good mood after that. He said that the fans have been supporting Beth in this run she's doing. He said he knows that the fans support her because they love him. He said that he wanted to bang a cough out of her last night so that's why he did that. He said that he didn't even last that long with her. She's been running like crazy training for this marathon she's doing next month.
Artie said that this running stuff is no good for you and she's running too much. Howard said he was in a good mood until he read that article. He said it really just bothers him.
In the clip the hippie chick is crying and screaming about mourning the loss of all of the old growth trees. She's screaming and crying about them. She said that there are people there who care and she wants the trees to know that they care. Howard said that these woman are gross and he figures they have huge bushes between their legs. He figures that they'd moan and cry over cutting the hair between their legs. He told the guys to just imagine marrying someone like that.
Howard played another clip where the woman just screams about the dying trees. Howard said that's just weird to think about trees as if they're human. Robin said that sometimes you do think about that and wonder if they're right. Howard said that we need paper and wood so they have to cut down trees.
Artie said that they eat cows too. Robin asked if they would go in and slaughter a cow to eat. Howard and Artie said that's someone else's job so they don't have to do that.
King asked if they do it at a regular time. Howard said there is no pattern. King also asked Howard if he thinks that Mel B from the Spice Girls is hot. Howard said that she's a little big for him but she is kind of hot. They spent a minute talking about her before Howard was ready to let King go.
King was also saying that he wants to come up and do some Deejaying for them. Howard said that these DJs just play music and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Artie said that the people who think up good mixes have some talent. Howard ended up cutting King off and hung up on him.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Howard has ever had to shit somewhere without his baby wipes. Howard said he has and he just goes old school and wipes with regular paper. He said that he'll go to the sink and wet down some TP to wipe with. He said that he ends up getting dingleberries when he does that though. He said that he just dabs until he doesn't see any brown. He said it eventually all goes away. Howard said that doesn't happen normally because he carries his baby wipes with him.
Howard said that he has used so much water in the toilet paper before that he had water dripping into his pants. He said he had to cover up his pants with a shirt one time because of the dripping. The caller said that he doesn't use regular toilet paper anymore and just uses the baby wipes. Artie said he's never used baby wipes but he's never had hemorrhoids either.
Artie said that he has tried the baby wipes but he doesn't do that at home. He tried them over in Afghanistan. The caller asked if they have ever done a shitting contest to see who has the most that comes out of them. Howard said they thought about doing that but thought about it and changed their minds.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's a former drug addict and is now a public school substitute teacher. She was calling in to say that her radio is dead and she can't hear the show this morning. She said that she's not getting any relief from SIRIUS either. She said that she called about getting a replacement but they discontinued her model. Howard said that Gary would help her out so he put her on hold.
Howard said that no one ever called him about their dead radios when they were on terrestrial radio. Artie said that the company they worked for didn't sell them their radios when they were on terrestrial radio either. Artie said that Mel has to deal with a lot of crap running this company and he can't imagine what that's like.
Howard said that he's had shits where he finishes wiping and then has to take another shit. Eric said that he's had that problem. He said he shits about 3 or 4 times a day. Eric said that his crap-a-thon was canceled while Howard was on vacation and they haven't rescheduled it.
Artie said that Gary kept coming to him and asking about doing this bit where they were going to have an ex-girlfriend on the show that he banged. They were going to have her in and try to pick her from a line up. Artie said that he asked the girl to do it and she agreed to it but then he found out that they had to cancel because they didn't have any money. Gary said that they pulled money out of another area and they are going to be doing this bit that Artie was talking about.
Gary said that Artie was offering the chick even more money of his own because he didn't feel it was enough. Artie said that she's fine with it. The girl is someone he had sex with about 10 years ago and he had it several times. He said that he's saving it for the bit but there is even more to it than they know. Gary said that she told him that even Artie may not be able to pick her from a line up.
Howard asked Gary to look into the craptacular thing. Gary said that he thought Tim Sabean was looking into doing that. He said he'll have to check with him. Joey Boots called in and said that he's still up for it. Tim came in and said that they still want to do it but some things came up and they had to delay it. Artie got a laugh out of that because Tim was acting like such a professional when he talked about this craptacular thing.
Howard played that clip and said that Ronnie would be nowhere if he didn't have his back. He said that Ronnie expects him to put up with any bullshit he does. He said he doesn't need Ronnie doing this stuff he does.
Ronnie came in and said that he wasn't talking about what Howard thought he was talking about. Ronnie said that there are people on the show who do things in Howard's name and don't get yelled at. He pointed out that there are people there who piss out on the street in Howard's name and don't get yelled out. Howard told Ronnie to get the fuck out of the studio after arguing with him for a minute.
Howard told Ronnie to go away. Ronnie left for a minute but then came back in because Howard was still talking about him. Howard said that Ronnie comparing himself to Richard taking a piss out on the street was just wrong. Ronnie said that he never does anything right for Howard. Howard said that he wants to know when he was right and he didn't back him up.
Howard said that he wanted to know an example of when he didn't support him. Ronnie said that yesterday was an example with the video of that girl he was grabbing at the wedding. Howard said he was right about that. He told him to watch the tape again and see what he did wrong. Yesterday Ronnie wasn't looking at the video and refused to admit he was wrong. Howard asked where he was wrong with that. Ronnie said ''Whatever... okay.'' Howard told Ronnie that he's an ingrate and told him to get out. Fred kept playing the Uncle Pauly ''Get outta 'ere'' clip over and over again.
Ralph called in and told Ronnie that Howard doesn't want anyone from the show going out and doing the ''we'' thing at these appearances. He said that Ronnie also has this really annoying thing that he does where he repeats everything that they say about him in his response.
Ronnie didn't think that Howard was going off on Ralph for the things he does wrong. Howard said he has gone off on Ralph before. Howard told Ronnie that he's the one on the hot seat now, not anyone else. Ronnie said that even if he's right about something he will still go off on him. Howard said that Ronnie has never been right and he has no examples of when he was. Ronnie said that he was right about the car he bought. Everyone laughed about that.
Howard asked Ronnie if he sees the difference between the car he has now and the one that he had to turn the heat on with the petcock. Ronnie said he was talking about the truck. Howard said that Ronnie was wrong about that too but he admitted he was wrong about it too and assumed responsibility for the truck.
Ronnie asked Howard to please get Ralph off the phone. Howard refused. Ronnie said that Howard doesn't like him and that's obvious. Howard said he never said he didn't like him and if he didn't like him, he'd be out of there.
Howard told Ronnie that he didn't ask him to go out and tell people about what they do on the show as ''we.'' Ronnie said he knows that. Ralph was goofing on him so Ronnie called Ralph a piece of shit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie is a piece of shit and it's no wonder his wife left him. Ronnie told the guy to come down there and talk to him like that.
Another caller told Ronnie that Howard could kick Ronnie's ass in reality and he's not that threatening. Ronnie said that he wasn't threatening anyone.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Ronnie isn't treating Howard the right way and he should know that Howard has his back. Dominic said that Howard has had his back after all of these years.
Howard told Ronnie that he has to think about things but don't think so much. He told him to just stay out of trouble. Ralph told him he'd be better off just not doing those appearances he does.
Howard said that he's just trying to help Ronnie. He said that things can only get worse. Ralph said he was trying to help too. He said that Ronnie is a great guy and he's just trying to help.
Another caller said that Ronnie is only out at those places because of Howard. Howard said that's what Ronnie doesn't seem to understand. The caller said that Ronnie has done the repeating stuff about 10 times since Ralph mentioned it.
Artie said that he thinks that clip of Ronnie and Ron Jeremy talking is the worst clip he's heard. He said that Ron tries to be funny but he's just not.
Howard said that Ronnie doesn't realize that he has his back and that he even created his back. Howard let Ronnie go before that call so he wasn't in there to say anything else about it.
A caller said that Ronnie is the man. Howard said that Ronnie is very touchy and doesn't think sometimes. He said that Ronnie should have come in and apologized instead of arguing like that. The guys spent a few minutes talking about Ronnie's security guard job and how no one else would hire him. Ralph said that no one else would hire Ronnie to drive either. He said he's got that attitude when you ask him to do anything. Howard said that Ralph might be right.
Artie said that reminds him about the NBC Nurse bit that Letterman used to do with this union-looking guy who had an attitude. Howard said that Ronnie gets so angry when anyone asks him to do anything. He said that he's afraid to ask Ronnie to drive him anywhere.
Gary said that Ronnie was saying on the Wrap UP Show yesterday that he tries not to drive Howard anymore because he thinks that he hates him. Howard said that actually annoys him more than when he does drive him. Howard said that Ronnie doesn't even drive on the weekends anymore. Ralph was giggling through the whole conversation and goofing on Ronnie.
Artie said that he's kind of jealous of Ronnie's life. He said that he's in good shape, he looks good and he seems to be happy. He wondered why he's so mad. Howard said he needs intensive therapy. Howard said that Ronnie is the angriest guy he knows.
Howard asked Scott the Engineer who the angriest guy is that he knows. Scott said that beside him it would be Ronnie. Scott said that he didn't even hear what they were talking about with Ronnie. Howard asked Scott why Ronnie is so angry. Scott said that Ronnie hates everything including driving and guarding.
Ronnie came in and asked Scott if he wanted to start with him. Howard said they asked him a question and he answered, he didn't do anything wrong.
Ronnie said that he's an angry guy and that's just him. He said that he goes to therapy. Ralph said that it's not working. Ronnie was pissed that Ralph was still on the phone. Ronnie said he's been going to therapy every week but he can't afford to go every day like Howard does. The guys told him to sell the gold bracelet he was wearing. Ronnie said that it was just one gold bracelet. Ralph said that it's a ''tacky gold bracelet.''
The guys talked about Ronnie's repeating and how Natalie from the Dixie Chicks had picked up on that when she was there. Ronnie wondered what he did to her that made her turn on him. Howard said she just noticed something that he does.
Howard said that being the angriest guy there isn't something to be proud of. Howard told him that he drives like a nut and he has them rolling around like crazy in the back of the car. Ronnie said that's not true. Howard said that he's always jamming on the brakes and he must want him in the front of the car or something. Ronnie said that he doesn't do that. Howard told Ronnie that he's aggressive when he drives.
Robin asked Ronnie what he talks about in therapy. Ronnie wouldn't tell her and told her to mind her own business. Howard said that Ronnie has a lot of anger and brought up the time he was going to get a tattoo of a shark with a baby's head in the mouth. Howard said he was there and heard Ronnie say it. Ronnie claims that he was joking that day. Howard said there was no joking around going on.
Howard said that he went to the tattoo artist and helped Ronnie out when he told the tattoo artist to make his moles into rocks on the beach. Ronnie said there is no beach in his tattoo. Howard said that he told the guy to use his hair as seaweed too. Ronnie said that's just not true.
Dominic called in and said that they should be paying Howard 200 million a hear because he's spent like 2 hours on this subject. He went on to talk about how his driver does the same thing to him where he jerks him around in the back of the car. He thinks that he does it on purpose to teach him a lesson or something. Howard said that Ronnie is a very angry guy and that's just the way he drives.
Howard said that he had enough of this and he had to take a break. He said that Ronnie is out of control and if he wants to apologize for what he did at the show he was at, he can do that. Ronnie didn't know what he had to apologize for. He said he wasn't trying to hurt Howard or anything. Ronnie wanted Ralph to hang up but Ralph refused and said that Ronnie is such a child.
Ralph asked Howard if he's going to call his parents. Howard said that he's been putting that off but he does have to call.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using Ronnie's ''Scoresman... got a tattoo!'' audio clips. Howard got a laugh out of that. He had to go to break when they were done with that.
Howard said that Beth is going to be on Tyra Banks show today for like an hour. He said that she's on for a fashion show segment. Howard said that Beth helps women find inexpensive clothing.
Howard said that there was some weird dude on the MTV awards in the band Tokio Hotel. JD knew the name and came in and talked about how he likes other music other than techno. Howard said that he wanted to find out if the lead singer of that band was a dude or a chick. He said that he can't tell. Artie said that music is really sad right now.
Howard said that the singer sounded kind of like a guy but he looked like a chick. Fred looked him up and found out that he is a dude. Howard said that's hard to believe that he's a dude. Fred said that they're actually twin brothers. Howard said that he thought the dude was Amy Mann. They all checked out a picture of the band and talked about that for a short time.
Howard said hello to the girls and then brought up his problem with Dennis. Dennis said that he did call the paper about that story but he never said that Howard was auctioning off the girl. Howard read the article to Dennis and said that everyone thinks he's nuts anyway so he was going to drop it.
Howard said that Natalie is the virgin and Avia is the sister. Avia said that her sister is a virgin and she can vouch for that. Howard asked Natalie why she came up with this idea. Natalie saw another girl doing it on the web and she was offered $1.5 million for it. She figured that was a good idea.
Howard asked Natalie why she would want to do that and not meet someone nice and lose it to him instead. She said that the reality of it isn't that great. She said that she doesn't have a moral dilemma with it and the girls who do lose their virginity don't end up talking to the guy after it happens anyway.
Howard asked Natalie if she's been with guys before. She said that she has had boyfriends and she has done oral but that's it. She said she enjoyed oral but she never took it any further. She said that she had a fantasy about everything being perfect and that's just not reality. She just kept holding off every time.
Natalie said that she's going to do just this one thing and not keep selling herself off to guys. Howard said that she'll probably be tempted to do it. Natalie said that she probably will but she doesn't think that she'll keep doing it.
Howard read that Natalie's mother is supporting her in this but she's not too thrilled with it. Natalie said that she isn't that happy about it but she was very motherly in her conversation about it. Natalie said that she was supportive but did warn her about what she was getting into.
Dennis said that she wants to go to school but her step-father ripped off the money that she was going to use for school. The girls talked about how he ripped off the family before that and then ripped off the student loans. They claim that he's out on the run right now after stealing about $40,000 in student loans.
Howard asked Natalie what she's going to do if she's not offered the big money that she wants. Natalie said she can back out if she wants. Howard asked if there are any offers so far. Dennis said that Natalie is going to pick the guy she wants to be with from the e-mail she gets at NatalieDylan@BunnyRanch.com.
Howard said that Natalie is looking for a great guy and he's not sure she'll find that this way. Artie stood up and showed her one.
Howard asked Natalie if she's an anal virgin. She said that she is. Avia has tried it. Howard said that Natalie and Avia seem to be honest girls. He said that some guy might come through with $1.5 million and then there's the chance that the guy is going to think that she really isn't a virgin. Howard asked if her hymen is intact. Natalie said that a lie detector might be her only saving grace.
Howard asked Dennis what the offers are so far. Dennis said that it just started and they have a $50,000 offer so far. The guy that offered the money is a businessman that some of the people there would know. He said that the guy is offering to pay for the girls educations too.
Howard asked Natalie what she'll wear when the guy comes in to bang her for that first time. Natalie said that she hasn't worked it all out yet and she'll work with the guy to figure it out. She wasn't even sure if it would be a one time bang or an all night thing.
Dennis said that Natalie said that she really wants this and she's got to have a lot of desire saved up. Avia said that she has worked for Dennis before and she did it for 3 weeks. She said that she just needed a certain amount of money and she worked for that three weeks to get it. Dennis said that she wanted to go back to school and that's how she made the money.
Avia said that she can make $5,000 a day out there at the Bunny Ranch. Dennis said that he can't wait until they want to get a PHD and have to make more money.
Howard asked Dennis if he ever feels guilty taking 50 percent of their money. Dennis said that after taxes and all of that it's only about 10 or 11 percent or so. He said that they have a lot of overhead there at the Bunny Ranch.
Howard said that Lisa G was out in the hall saying that she doesn't believe that Natalie is a virgin. He wanted her to come in and talk about that but she didn't come in.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that a virgin isn't the best person to have sex with because they have no experience and they're just going to lay there in pain. Artie said that he has taken a girl's virginity and it wasn't good sex. He said that she wasn't nearly as attractive as this girl is though. He said that she looked kind of like Elton John.
Howard said he hadn't thought about that pain angle. Natalie said that she has had manual stimulation so maybe she won't be in pain. Robin warned her that it's going to be much different when the guy goes in there. Howard said that it might be some big, thick guy who shows up. Dennis said that she might just do some research and figure out a good way to have some fun with the first time.
Lisa G came in and said that the way Natalie looks, dresses and carries herself makes it seem that she's not a virgin. She said she doesn't think she was that far off after hearing that she has done manual stimulation.
Avia was saying that she finds Howard very attractive. She said the only problem is that he's engaged.
Lisa said that she was right about this girl not really being a virgin if she has used something on herself. Dennis said that it's very hard to last until 22 being a virgin. Lisa said that she wasn't that young when she lost her's. She said that she wasn't in her 20s but she didn't give an age.
Lisa said that she wishes that she had a better experience her first time. She said that she wishes she could have done what this girl is doing. She said she could have used the money back then.
Howard said that he believes that Natalie is a virgin from what she's said. He took a call from a guy who asked Artie if he's going to throw his hat into the ring and bang this chick. Dennis said that if Artie bids the highest amount then he'll throw in the other half. He was doubling the amount that Artie was going to offer.
Dennis said that Artie could make her laugh and that's a good thing. Natalie said that Artie is hilarious and she has watched him on TV before. Howard asked Artie if he wanted to get in on the bidding. Artie said that he's been meaning to get to the Bunny Ranch for several reasons. Artie thought about it.
JD came in a short time later and said that he'd like to make a bid but he wants to see what he's bidding on. Howard asked Natalie to stand up so they could see what she looks like. She wasn't stripping down but she claims that there are no scars and she has D-cup breasts. They also said that she's got a gorgeous face. Dennis said that she's probably too high tech of a machine for JD to handle. She offered JD a hug but he refused that. JD said that he was going to withdraw his bid. Artie asked him what he was going to bid with anyway. JD told him to just play along.
Howard asked Artie if he was going to bid or not. Artie said that he has some personal issues and some people in his life may have a problem with this. Howard asked if it's the therapist. Artie said that there might be a woman who might have an issue with it.
Dennis said that they might bring the guy back there when they come in for The World's Biggest Loser contest. He said that they have people coming from all over the world to the Bunny Ranch when they shoot the TV show they have. Howard asked Avia if she would be in for a double team thing if the guy wants that. Avia said that she'd be up for that if Natalie was. Howard asked Natalie if she would be up for that. She said that they're best friends so she's not sure she could do that.
Robin asked Dennis why he wasn't with Avia when she was at the Bunny Ranch. He said that he gets to know the girls first before he'll do that. He said that he has to get to know them first and not just get off with someone new.
Howard asked the girls where their father is. They said that he lives in Germany and they don't have any contact with him.
A caller asked if the guy is going to get to do anything wild with the girls. Dennis said that Natalie may be up for other stuff but that's up to them to work out. Dennis said that he thinks that the bids are going to get into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. He said that he'd be there if he had that kind of money to throw around.
Howard took a call from Crackhead Bob (audio clips) who asked her a couple of questions that were pretty much unintelligible.
Howard took another call from Wood Yi (audio clips) who told Howard to get this fuckwad off the air and that he's a scam artist. Dennis told him to go fuck himself. Wood Yi asked if he could suck his cock. Dennis said that his sister can. Wood Yi asked how big his cock is. Dennis said that it's a good size. He said that he's had guys come on to him before.
Dennis said that he does the Out Q show and they take calls for him and there are many guys who come on to him and it's kind of creepy.
Howard wrapped up with the girls and Dennis and gave them a plug for BunnyRanch.com. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Angus and Brian about the virgin they just had on and asked if Angus has ever had to pay for sex. Brian said that any man who gets married has to pay for sex. He said that he's been married for 25 years. Howard asked him if he fools around on her. Brian said ''absolutely, that's what everyone wants to hear...''
Howard asked Angus when he started playing guitar. He said he started around 5 or 6. He said that he had a lot of music in his head and the first album he heard was probably Little Richard.
Howard asked Angus if he was good in math or in school. He said he didn't get good at math until he had a couple of managers. He said that he went to school until he was 15. He said when he was 14 and 9 months the principal called him into the office and told him to look into a career. Howard asked Angus if he was ready to join the band at that point. Angus said that he had to work in a factory for a short time.
Howard said that AC/DC didn't look like it was going to be a mainstream success in the beginning. He asked Angus when he thought that the band was going to be a success. Angus said that it was when he worked in the factory. He said that he never really knew that they were going to be a success, you never think about it like that.
Howard asked Angus if he has seen the movie ''Shine a Light'' about the Rolling Stones yet. Angus said he hadn't seen it yet.
Howard asked the guys if they hang out much together. Angus said that they do bond once in a while. Brian said that he live in Sarasota, Florida and Angus lives in Holland. Howard asked Brian about living down there and if it's full of old people like he thinks it is. Brian said that's bollox. Howard thought he was talking about a restaurant he goes to.
Brian said that he has a race car team and he goes out racing for fun. He said that it's a cool place to hang down there in Florida. Howard asked him if he's racing cars all day long. Brian said that it's not like that. Howard asked what they do all day long. Angus said that he's writing tunes. Angus said that he goes all over the world and doesn't stay in Holland all the time.
Howard read that the guy signed on with Wal-Mart to distribute their album exclusively. Howard said that the record business has really changed. Angus said that they have all of the big and small cities with Wal-Mart. They're buying 3 million albums right off the bat according to what Howard read.
Brian said that they're selling the album really cheap too so it's a good deal all around. Angus said that they're doing it like they used to do back in the 70s and they're making a big deal out of the new album. Howard asked if the guys are upset about the way the business works. Angus said that it's a small part of the business when you sell albums. Howard said that people don't buy albums anymore. The guys agreed with him on that.
Howard asked the guys how rich they are. Angus said that they're ''comfortably well off.'' Brian races cars and that's an expensive hobby. Angus said that he's racing bangers or rent-a-wreck's.
Brian said that there are a few musicians living down there in Sarasota like Scott hill from Skid Row and Donald Duck Dunn from the Blues Brothers.
Howard asked the guys why they're not out on the road touring. They said that they're working on getting that together again.
Howard was talking to the guys about their wives over and over again so Brian said that just because he doesn't have a wife, he has to ask them about theirs? Howard said that he's getting one soon and the guys seemed to give him a pained look when he told them he was doing that again. Angus said that he's heard that when your wife turns 40 you're supposed to trade her in for two 20 year olds.
Howard asked Angus if he got married without a pre-nup. Angus said that when he got married he had nothing but the straps on his boots. He didn't need a pre-nup. Howard asked Brian if he's going to cheat as soon as they get out on the road. Angus said that you just have to trust him.
Howard found out that Brian is 61 years old. Howard said that he never would have thought he'd make it to that age. Brian ended up talking about the election and how he doesn't really trust anyone. He was goofing on Hillary Clinton a little bit so Howard figured he was a conservative.
Howard asked the guys about their amazing career and catalog of music. He asked them what song is the best they've done. Brian said that he couldn't say. Angus said that Back in Black is probably the most successful. He didn't have a favorite because he's written them and he loves all of them.
Howard said that he's glad that the guys are there today and they're promoting a new album. He said that he has heard the new single. He said that Brian is the lead singer of a band and he really shouldn't smoke. He said that Angus must hate that. Angus said that they're all smokers and he's Brian's dealer. Howard said he'd protect his instrument if he was a singer.
Brian said that he tries to stay fit. Angus said that you have to go some day so why not smoke? He said he could die at any minute. Angus said that he's a realist and knows that it's a bad thing but when they'd show pictures of smoker's lungs in school, he needed a cigarette to get through it.
Howard gave the guys a plug for their new album ''Black Ice'' which is available at Wal-Mart or Sam's Club. You can also pre-order it through ACDC.com. Howard said he thought they didn't own the web site. The guys said that they didn't but they ended up getting it from the guy who did. They didn't have to pay for it themselves.
Howard asked the guys if they still like going out on the road. They said that they do and they're not sick of performing the same songs after all these years.
Howard asked the guys if they're just a business and not really friendly outside of the band. The guys said that they are friends but they don't socialize all that much. Howard asked Brian what he does with all of his money. Brian said that he lives 10 doors away from Jerry Springer down in Sarasota. Howard asked Angus if he's ever seen Brian's house. Angus said he hasn't. Angus said that he did see pictures of Brian's house. He said it looked really nice in the pictures.
Howard said that AC/DC is going to have their own channel on XM and SIRIUS radio. They're going to have 24 hours of AC/DC music on the channels starting September 15th. Howard asked if they're involved with it at all. Brian said that they are cutting some IDs and stuff. Howard said it sounds like they're really involved in it.
Howard said that Sal and Richard claim that they can play an AC/DC song with their penises. The guys weren't interested in seeing that though.
Howard asked the guys if they have ever had gay sex. They said that they haven't. Howard asked them what the best period in their lives was. Angus said that the 70s was the best. Brian didn't want to talk about the stuff he was doing back then. He said he was drunk back then and doesn't remember any of it. Angus wasn't talking either.
Gary came in and said that there's a video going around on the web where there are women with huge tits pressing them up against the clear glass stage that they were performing on. There were guys banging the chicks down there too. Brian said that was tough to sing through watching that.
Howard took some calls for the guys and let the fans say hello to Angus and Brian. One guy brought up the cars that Brian buys and how he buys every new Aston Martin that comes out. Howard asked how much those things sell for. They never did get to that. The caller talked about how great Brian is as a neighbor in Sarasota. He said that he contributes to the neighborhood down there.
Howard played some of the new single ''Rock and Roll Train'' from the new album. Howard said he liked the riff there in the beginning of the song. Howard had the guys singing along to their song a little bit. Artie threw in a ''Fiah!'' Howard said that it was a pretty powerful song and they didn't wimp out with the song.
Howard said he's happy they got the new channel there. He asked if they're into that rap music stuff or if they think it's shit. Angus said that it's all part of the music industry and it can only help them. He said that when people hear that stuff they might ask ''Where's my AC/DC stuff?''
Howard said that he's kind of depressed about how Robert Plant and Jimmy Page are looking these days. He wrapped up a short time later and gave the guys some more plugs for their new channel on SIRIUS and XM. He gave them some plugs for their new album that's coming out on the 20th.
Howard asked the guys about kids. Angus has none and Brian has two daughters that he's very proud of. He said that they come to shows when they perform over in Europe. They don't fly across to the U.S. to see shows.
Howard asked Brian how many Aston Martin's Brian has. Brian said it's just one. He said that he doesn't have a new one every year. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget and he said it was going to be quick. Howard said that he didn't have time for him all the time and he can't just put him on every day. Eric was complaining that he was going to make it so quick.
Howard said that Sarah Silverman sent him a note about a friend of her's who bought an autographed picture of Eric. It turns out it was a 3x4 picture from a photo store. Howard said that the guy complained that Eric signed it ''To Justin from Eric the Midget.'' The guy claimed that he wanted it to be made out to his girlfriend. Eric said that the guy didn't ask for that in his first e-mail, he did that in his second e-mail. In the first one he didn't request the autograph that Howard read.
Howard told Eric that he has to offer 8x10 photos, not 3x4. Eric said that he's just starting out and he doesn't have any 8x10s. Artie said he thinks that this is Eric exploiting his fans.
Eric said that he only had a certain number of bigger ones and he ran out before he sent this guy's out. Howard said that he was just trying to give him some advice. He also said that 3x4 was a life size photo for Eric. Artie told Eric he was all blotchy and ugly.
Howard told Eric he had to move along and to call back tomorrow. Eric asked people to go to his store at JFSC.tv/eta. Howard let Eric go after calling him ''Eric the Midget Actor.'' Howard read the note from Sarah's friend who was complaining about the picture he got.
Ralph called in and said that you can get a phone call from Eric through his web site. That will cost you $45. Howard asked how long that lasts. Ralph said it doesn't say. Howard and Ralph acted out how that call might go for about 2 seconds.
Artie said that Evil Dave did a voice mail message for him one time and charged him $50 to do it. Artie said that he ripped him off because he didn't warn him that he was going to charge him for it. Artie said Dave showed up to a gig one time and offered to do two free ones for him. Artie said he only had one phone so he had Dave give them to his cousin instead. He said that he had him do two free and when they asked for a third one Dave came to him and told him that it was 3 and not 2. Artie had to pay for that one.
Howard asked Benjy what's wrong with him not going to Will's wedding because of his sleep schedule. Benjy said that if he had been allowed to bring a date, he may have gone. Will said that Benjy asked who on the staff was coming. He also said that there was an RSVP date on it and he still didn't have an answer from Benjy.
Howard got to Steve Langford after that. Steve said they're still looking into the Kenneth Keith Kallenbach death and found that there are some striking inconsistencies in the complaint and what the girl claimed happened. Steve said they're still looking into that and also found out that there is going to be an investigation into the whole thing.
Steve said that Howard was on the MTV Video Music Awards 16 years ago today. That led to Howard talking about how he's been reading about that appearance in all of the MTV awards lately. They mention that they don't have anything like that on there anymore. Howard said that they're not even music television anymore with all of the reality shows they play on there.
Jon Hein came in next and ran down his Wrap Up Show preview. They spent a little time talking about Artie's secret girlfriend. He said that they don't know her yet and he's going to keep it that way. Howard asked him a bunch of questions about this new girl but Artie wasn't saying much about her. He said that she's a very good influence on his life. He said his therapist thinks the whole thing is stupid and isn't too happy about it. Howard said his therapist was the same way with him and Beth there for a while.
Howard said he thinks that he knows what Artie's issues are, and when he gets to it and has to deal with it, it's going to be very tough. Artie said that he doesn't need him to bring it up then. Howard said that Artie has no idea what it is right now. He said that he knows certain things about Artie and he has a feeling he knows what the issues are. It's just a theory though. He said it's going to be painful and it will rock his world. Howard said it has nothing to do with Artie's father though.
Howard said Robin might know what he's talking about because he's discussed this with her before. He didn't want to bring it up on the air though and he'd get very defensive about it if he did.
Artie said that this girl he's seeing must think he's pathetic because he always needs someone to talk to. He said he's very dependant on people. Howard said he gets that and if he ever wants to talk to him he should give him a call. Howard said he would do that any time. Artie said he knows that.
Robin told Artie if he really wants to talk, he should call Fred. Howard said he'll never get off the phone if he does that. Artie said that he's afraid that this girl is going to think he's more of a mess than he really is. Howard said he was sweating like a pig right about then and asked what was going on. Artie said that nothing is going on, he's fine.
Howard ended up talking to Fred who was doing his Jim Florentine impression. He talked about his break up with Robin for a short time and said that he really misses her ''pucker box'' which was her asshole.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Robin has had sex since her break up with Jim. Robin said she will not discuss that. She didn't answer. Jon Hein finished up his Wrap Up Show preview a short time later.
Jon mentioned the Sal and Richard thing that was turned down during the AC/DC segment and Howard said he kind of wanted to see what they wanted to do. Gary said they needed a minute to set up and they'd get in there. Howard went to break a short time later.
Artie said that this was quite a way to gay up the greatest music ever. Sal and Richard played one more song but Howard told them to get out of there because he was going to throw up. They played one more song before Howard kicked them out. He called them ''GayC/DC.''
Howard said that Richard has gotten really fat. Richard said that he's been drinking pumpkin beer now that it's out. He said he loves that stuff. Howard thanked him and kicked him out before they could get into it more.
Robin had some news about Sarah Palin and her religion. She's listed as being a pentecostal. Howard said that he can't vote for McCain because of her now. He said that he's been reading a lot of stuff about her lately and there are a lot of fake stories about her out there. He said he's not sure what to believe anymore. He talked about some of these things he's been reading and how he found out they're really not true. He said he doesn't know what to believe but he does believe that she has very little experience in government and she really doesn't have any qualifications to do this job. He said you could say the same thing about Barack Obama though.
Gary got in on the conversation and said that he read that she went to 6 colleges in 4 years. Howard said that story is true. He said he thinks it's actually 5 different colleges and that is kind of wacky. He said he's actually not even sure if that's true or not. They talked about the story about her wanting to ban a bunch of books and Howard said that's not true either.
Robin read through some more about Plain and Howard took a call about her. The guy didn't get his point out very well so Howard hung up on him. He also played Sal's ''Wack Pack Feedback'' segment where they asked Gary the Retard, Wendy the Retard Jeff the Drunk and Big Foot about Palin.
After playing that bit Howard got Jeff the Drunk on the phone to talk about his racist comments in that clip he just played. Jeff said he was being funny. Jeff said that Sal called him and asked him to do that. Sal came in a short time later and said that he didn't push anyone to say anything in that bit. He said that he just tells them ''Good job'' when they're done.
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget who said that he e-mailed Will the order form for that guy who was complaining about the picture. Eric said that he also sent out another picture for his girlfriend. It was another 3x4 picture but that's all he has right now. Artie told Eric to go fuck himself as Howard let him go. Howard said that Eric should glue a bunch of those 3x4 pictures together so he has a 9x12.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about OJ Simpson being in court again on robbery charges. Howard tried to take a phone call but the guy wasn't answering.
Robin read that Richie Sambora is buying an apartment in Philadelphia. Howard thought he was moving back to New York, he didn't know he was going to be in Philly. Robin read that he's on the 52nd floor of 2 Liberty Plaza so Howard asked her if she had her phone number too. She said she was just reading what was in the paper.
Robin read some news about digital TV which is going to be mandatory in February, 2009. Howard asked if that means that he's going to have to install something new at his parent's house.
Jeff the Drunk called back in and wanted to finish his thoughts. Howard said never mind that and gave him a $500 prize courtesy of the new FOX TV show ''Fringe.''
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's going to pay for his kid's weddings when they marry. Howard said of course he will. Robin asked if he wants to be a grandfather. Howard said he has asked his kids not to have kids. Howard gave that caller a $500 prize as well.
Howard had to take a break around 10:35am. Howard said he wanted to just end the show but Fred said that they couldn't, they had to do one more break.
After the break Robin read a story about a UFC fighter, Evan Tanner, that was found dead out in the desert at a camp site. Robin had a story about Steven Spielberg being sued over his movie ''Disturbia'' as being a rip off of ''Rear Window.'' Howard said he's got to check that one out. He said he doesn't remember ever seeing it.
Robin read through a few more stories about a 59 year old woman who gave birth to a child, more Jews living in the south than ever, KFC moving the recipe from the corporate office so they can revamp security and a couple of other things.
Robin had a story about a father and son who were able to tread water for 14 hours before they were rescued. She said that she saw a guy reading a story about Tom Brady being out for the season in the elevator this morning. That led to Howard reading an e-mail about Artie laughing at that story yesterday. The guy was upset that Artie was laughing about it. Artie said that it's great news that Brady is out. He didn't seem to care what the e-mailer wrote. Artie said that he didn't do anything to the guy, he's just happy that the guy is out.
Howard read some mail about Ronnie taking crap on the show yesterday. He said that there were some people who defended him.
Robin had some audio clips of people talking about Tom Brady's injury. She had some audio of Perez Hilton talking about the Jonas Brothers and how they should continue to wear their promise rings and stay virgins. Robin had some audio of President Bush asking American's to give up hundreds of hours to community service. She had some audio of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton talking about the McCain and Palin team.
Robin had some audio of JJ Abrams talking about his new show ''Fringe.'' She also had Donny and Marie talking about their new TV show. They had some Nicolas Cage talking about his new movie and 50 Cent talking about his. She had some audio of Janice Dickinson talking about her show and what she's looking for in a super model. They ended the show around 11:05am.
Benjy said that if he had seen the article before that he would have known that it would piss him off. He said that the way it was written made it look like it was the show that was doing it. He said that they said that they were ''kicking off'' the auction and that didn't seem right. Gary said they were kicking it off on the show but it wasn't their idea. He said he gets why Howard was pissed.
Jon asked about Dennis' shirt and what was up with that. Gary said he was wearing a pink, shiny shirt that was kind of strange.
Jon said that Lisa G didn't believe that Natalie was really a virgin after hearing some of what she said. Gary said that some people are looking for a virgin who hasn't done anything. Benjy said that Lisa said that she would have liked to have auctioned off her virginity and he wonders what she would want at this point in her life. Gary didn't think she said yes to that but Benjy said she did.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard was really fired up this morning and it was good to hear that. He said he misses hearing that from Howard. JD said that Howard was pissed yesterday at Ronnie too.
Gary talked about how Howard doesn't keep people around that he doesn't want there and Ronnie doesn't seem to get that. JD said that Ronnie doesn't seem to care about anyone and he's a big baby. JD figured that comment was going to get Ronnie down there pretty quick.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Ronnie is the angriest of the people there. Gary said that he is probably the angriest. JD is up high on that list but Gary said that Ronnie is the angriest. Scott the Engineer has kind of toned down according to Gary. He said that he does bottle it up though and it all comes out at once when he does snap.
Gary said that JD gets angry but he doesn't really verbalize it that much. JD said that he will verbalize it sometimes.
JD said that he and Dennis Hof have had the same girl and he didn't like that comment he made about him during the interview. JD said that he thinks that Dennis was with the girl before he was. They just discussed it quickly on the show. JD didn't think the girl wanted him to talk about it. Gary asked if she doesn't want them to talk about it because of him or because of Dennis. JD said it would probably be both. He didn't mention the name of the girl and said he probably shouldn't have said anything.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has about 12 girls who work in his office at a real estate company and he was having a lot of discussions about the virgin contest with people. The guy said that Dennis is just a glorified pimp and he should just pay for those girl's education instead of selling them the way he is. The guys said that Dennis probably wouldn't have a problem being called a pimp.
A caller asked JD if he has tourettes or something because he's always hooting. JD said he doesn't do that all the time and it's his laugh.
Jon moved on to talk about Artie not offering to pay for that virgin this morning. Gary didn't hear the part where Artie said that he was involved with some girl. JD said that he didn't know about that because it's hard to follow what's going on with him these days.
Benjy said that Artie did say that he has a girl and he has serious feelings about the girl. Gary said he did hear that. The guys were kind of lost at that point and didn't know what discussion they were on.
Gary said that it seems like Artie is just scratching the surface of his problems and he's got a lot more to get into. Gary said he thinks the therapist is going to have to call bullshit at some point and make Artie get into stuff that he's not getting into now.
Jon took a call from a guy who said ''fuck Artie'' over the Tom Brady thing. Jon asked Gary what he thinks about that. Gary said he thinks that's just a New York fan responding to a Boston team. He seemed to think that a Boston fan would react the same way to a New York player injury. The caller thinks that Artie gets off on hearing that someone is hurt like that. Gary said that Artie still gets under his skin with his Mets comments.
The caller said that he thinks that Ronnie doesn't understand that without Howard there would be no Ronnie the Limo Driver / Scoresman. He said that he should just respect Howard and listen to what he says.
Jon said that he thinks that Ronnie doesn't see what he does as being a problem but he does recognize that Howard has made him what he is.
A caller asked why Howard didn't say what he thought Artie's main problem was on the air. Gary said that it could have hurt Artie if he had said what his theory was. Benjy and Gary were talking about Artie's dad's death and how that could have something to do with his issues. They had some theories on all of that stuff that they went over for a minute.
Jon asked Ronnie if he heard JD make the comment about being a baby. Ronnie said he didn't hear that but he said that JD is really the big baby there. JD asked him why he was deflecting on him. Ronnie yelled at him that he was asked a god damn question. JD just laughed.
Ronnie said that JD is a very angry man and he hates women. He said that he hates women because they don't like him. JD didn't get where that was coming from. Ronnie said that JD also watches a lot of gay porn back there in his office. JD said he hasn't been watching any since before the gay bachelor party. Ronnie said he wouldn't know because he doesn't keep track of him. Ronnie said that JD gets very angry when he's drunk too. He said he's very angry around everybody.
Jon asked Ronnie why he got so angry at Ralph today. Ronnie said that he gets on everyone's nerves there. Jon asked Gary what he thinks is going on there. Gary said that Ronnie has taken two days of shit now. Ronnie said that he's sure it's not done yet.
The guys talked to Ronnie about his therapy sessions and if he thinks they're helping. Ronnie said that it has helped a little bit. He didn't want to talk about what has helped though.
Benjy said that he's looking for a therapist but he can't choose one because he's a perfectionist and can't make up his mind.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that this is the most fucked up thing in the world. He told the guys not to talk to JD anymore and who gives a fuck about Ronnie. Ronnie asked who gives a fuck about the caller. The caller said that a lot of people care about him. Jon asked the guy what he wanted him to talk about if it wasn't JD or Ronnie. The guy said that anything but those two. Jon had to take a break after that.
Jon asked JD what he noticed about Angus Young and Brian Johnson when they came in. JD said they were pretty short. Jon asked Ronnie what he thought about their height. Ronnie thought he was picking on him too because it was like he was making fun of his height. Jon said he was just asking a question.
Jon asked the guys when they think that AC/DC hit the main stream but they weren't being very talkative. Jon said that he may have to talk to Teddy if this keeps up. Ronnie told him to talk to Doug Goodstein.
Jon asked Doug why Ronnie is so angry. Doug said that he thinks that he's not angry and he's really not like that. He said he thinks that Howard set him off yesterday and today. Ronnie said he didn't know that Howard was so angry about that article this morning and maybe he was taking out some of his anger on him.
Doug was trying to say something nice about Ronnie but Ronnie went off on him for bringing the video camera to Will's wedding. Ronnie said that's how all of that shit ended up on Howard's screen yesterday. Doug said that was Will's tape and he licensed it from him.
Ronnie said that some people in the elevator told him about how they think that Gange was the one who initiated that thing with the girl that Howard was talking about yesterday. Doug agreed that Ronnie was hit with some shrapnel in that whole thing.
That led to the guys talking about Ronnie losing his free Howard TV from his cable system. Ronnie said he thinks that Doug is bullshitting him about that and about the video camera at the wedding. Ronnie asked why his video went up and some of the other video didn't. Doug said that part is the part where something good happened so that's why they played it.
Ronnie said that he never gets defended with this stuff while other people do have people defending him. Doug said that he was trying to help Ronnie yesterday when he was getting yelled at. He told Will to put up a note about Gange starting the whole thing. He said it was more fun to watch Ronnie getting his balls busted though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Ronnie seems to be trying to do the right thing and all he gets is shit. Ronnie thanked him for that but there wasn't much else for the guy to say.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks that Doug should have burst in and told Howard about the wedding thing. Ronnie said that he should have.
Jon took a call from a woman who thinks that Artie and Robin have gotten together and that's the secret that Artie has. She said that she's not picking on him as much. Doug said she might be on to something there. Ronnie said that she might be right. JD said he thinks she might be crazy.
Another caller said that he thinks Artie sounds as bad as he did before after sounding okay for a couple of weeks. The guy also asked if they ever thought about having Steely Dan on the show. Jon said that he doesn't think that they've ever been on the show. He said he'd double check with Gary and let them know.
The caller was also saying that Howard might be the angriest guy on the show. Jon said he didn't even think about that. Ronnie said he wasn't going to comment on that because he'll end up back in the studio tomorrow in front of the firing squad.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that it sounded like Howard was kind of racist when he was talking about the Jews during the show. They let that guy ramble for a minute before they hung up on him. One more caller said that the women on The View were about to talk about Howard auctioning off the virgin. They had to wrap up a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about his opening song and how he thinks that Rob Zombie was kind of let down with his performance. He said he wishes that he could get back in the studio and do it over again. He said that Rob wanted him to do something with his voice that he felt was hurting his throat so he didn't do it. Howard said he really doesn't know anything about singing.
Artie said he saw Rob's ''Halloween'' movie and thinks that his talent really is in music. He also told Howard to never play his song again if he doesn't like it. Howard said he heard the song come on the other day in the shower and he thought that he could have done a better job.
Artie said he's been listening to Classic Rewind on SIRIUS lately and had it on at his party recently. He said he really enjoys that station and they didn't repeat a song in the 7 hours the party was going on. They spent a few minutes talking about their favorite stations there. Robin threw out Coffee House. Howard asked Fred what his favorite is. Fred said that Coffee House is in his top 5. He didn't pick just one favorite though.
Howard said that they have a lot of cool stuff on Coffee House like covers of classic songs done by other artists. Fred said he heard a version of the Pink Panther done by a guy on guitar and he thought it was hilarious. Howard said he puts on classical music sometimes at his place.
Robin said she did an audio book for her book. Howard didn't do it. He said that he was going to do something huge with his audio book but his plans were way too big. He said it turned into a huge project. Howard said he started to write the script for it but it was going to be way too big.
Howard said his agent told him he was over thinking it but he didn't think that was the case. He didn't think that people would buy it with him just reading the book. Artie said that he started to do his book and he felt that it wasn't going to be that impressive. Howard said that it turns out that people just want it simple and left alone.
Howard said that Robin's audio book gave them a bunch of audio clips to use on the show. Artie said that he can hear Richard editing his book now and making him say all kinds of weird stuff. He said it's really not a fun thing to do.
Artie said that they have a bunch of people in the studio recording this book. He said he read a really emotional chapter the other day and he looked up and the engineer had no emotion on his face and he feels like they hate his book. He said he can't tell if they like it or not though.
Howard played a clip that Richard edited together from William Shatner's audio book. That's the kind of thing they're going to do with Artie's book when it comes out. The clip they played was a really long one and Artie was laughing pretty hard throughout the clip. Artie said that is a Grammy winner right there.
Artie said that he uses some words in his that are going to make it easy for Richard to make him say some really nasty stuff.
Howard talked about that report yesterday and how it mushroomed into this big thing where he was auctioning off this virgin. He said that he talked about how he didn't want his daughters thinking that he was auctioning off a virgin on the show. He thought the whole thing was weird.
Howard said he complained about the story and everyone picked up on the fact that he was pissed. Howard said the strange thing was when The View picked up on it and said they were going to be talking about it on their show. He said that they must have been told to back off because they never got to it.
The guy on the phone had a strange way of talking so Howard asked what was up with that. The guy said that he was injured in a car bombing incident over in Afghanistan. Howard said that's pretty messed up and told him that if he was the President he would have just nuclear bombed that place instead.
The caller said that Artie said he was going to send him a copy of his DVD and he was supposed to get a free watch from Steven Singer but that didn't happen either.
Benjy knew who the guy was and said that he's been looking for him for 3 years now. He said that he was going to give him the Real Doll. The caller said that he didn't want that so he told Benjy to keep it.
The caller said that he saw Lee Majors selling a bionic hearing aid. He said he thought it was a parody but he found out it was for real. That led to the guys goofing on Lee Majors about that for a short time.
Howard said that Lee Majors sent him a letter not too long ago with a bunch of tapes to watch of shows that he did that didn't make it to TV. He never wrote him back though.
Howard asked the caller, Terry, if he ever gets laid. Terry said that he doesn't. He said it's really hard with his voice and the scar he has on his throat and chest. Howard asked how long he took to recuperate from that injury. Terry said that it was 3 years ago. He said he's not in any pain now.
Terry said that Howard told him to tell people he's from Zimbabwe or somewhere like that. Howard said he sounds like he's speaking in Klingon or something so he could use that as an excuse. He said he could get some pussy at Comicon if he played the guy from ''Enemy Mine'' who talked funny.
Howard put Terry on hold and said that they owe him some stuff. Robin told him to remember Terry when they have a future contest or something. Artie said there are many ways that they can think of to humiliate that war hero. He said he was just kidding about that when Robin asked him about that.
Howard thought that the guys had hung up on Terry but he was still on. He picked him up again and asked him if he felt anything when the bomb went off. Terry said he just saw a flash of light and woke up in the hospital. He said that he was in pain in the hospital. He said he didn't feel any pain until that time.
Howard asked where the bomb was. Terry said that it was on the ground and they set it off by remote control. He said that there were 4 injuries and he was injured the worst. He said he was sitting in the back of the vehicle and he got the worst of it.
Howard said he always had that fear of what the pain would be like but it sounds like he didn't feel it right away. Terry said that he didn't feel it that bad and he's getting some money from the government. He gets about $1600 a month tax free from disability and social security. He said that it's not a lot of pay for what he has to go through though.
Terry said that they're doing a great service over in Iraq and things would be a lot worse if they weren't there. Howard asked him who he would vote for in the election. Terry said he would like to vote for Obama because he's black but he can't trust the guy.
Howard asked Terry if his dick still works. Terry said it does. Robin wondered how the bomb missed that part and hit above there.
Howard asked Terry if he has a big penis. Terry said that it's about 8 inches erect but when it's not erect it's pretty tiny. Howard asked him about how long it was until he started jerking off after the bomb. Terry said that he wasn't able to move his arms very well so it was probably about a year before he jerked off.
Terry said that he was in rehab for 4-5 hours a day for a long time. Howard said that he gave a lot of his life for this country.
Artie asked Terry what kind of drugs they gave him when he was injured. Terry said that some of it was morphine. Artie said that he's going to send Terry this DVD and he's looking to get some of that morphine stuff. Howard cut him off and asked Terry more about his injuries. Terry told him where the injuries are on his neck, chest and back.
Artie said he's going to be out in Pittsburgh and he'd like to meet this guy out there. Terry said that he's not too far from there. Artie told him to come out if he wants but Terry said he doesn't get out of the house much.
Howard talked about going to Cleveland, where Terry lives, when he was doing book signings. He said that he loved Cleveland when he was there. He said he brought some hot chicks with him for the signing. They talked about the place called The Flats and how great the strip clubs were out there. Howard put Terry back on hold after that.
Howard told the guys that when he puts Terry on hold the computer doesn't show that he's on hold. He said that's a glitch in his computer. Gary said he'd talk to someone about that.
Howard wondered what kind of money he's getting for that commercial. Robin said that this is the first she's hearing about it. Howard said it's pretty impressive that they named it after him because he must be getting a piece of the pie if they're using his name on it.
Howard talked about his parents not being able to hear so well these days. He said that his father was getting really bad before he got a hearing aid. He said that they used to have the TV on really loud when they'd go over there.
Artie said that he worked with this actor who was like 90 years old at the time and they were working with David Space. The guy would yell out ''What?'' when Spade would give his lines because he wasn't able to hear him.
That led to Artie talking about speaking to Spade about his new baby. Artie said that Spade told him that he's trying to figure out a time that he can see the kid. Artie said Spade was being very careful about what he was saying like he was a lawyer or something. Artie said he was just trying to be a friend to him though. Artie said that he might be able to call in sometime in a few weeks.
Robin said the last she read was that Spade wasn't going to see the kid without a paternity test. Howard said he thinks that it's been proven that he's the father already. Howard said that Spade has some father issues and he may feel guilty about being the same kind of father his father was. He said that Jillian is living on the other side of the country and Spade isn't going to be moving in or anything.
Howard said the sad part is that David isn't going to be able to get to know this kid. He said that he doesn't really have a relationship with the mother or anything. He's not going to move to Missouri or anything like that. He probably won't be taking the kid home with him at all either. Artie said that she could move to L.A. though.
Robin said that Howard told her once that they had to make the radio thing work because he didn't know how to do anything else.
Howard said that one of his favorite jobs was being a dishwasher at camp. He said he liked the work and he was able to smoke and take drugs when he was on break. He said he did have a job at Benton and Bowls for a while but it was really boring and he wasn't very good at it. He said it was a lot of math and stuff and he's just not good at math. Howard said he had to ask people to do reports for him. He said his mother even said to him that it just wasn't him.
Howard said that he always knew that if he could fit in somewhere he could do a good job for them. He just didn't know what it was.
The caller asked Robin what her plan was. She said that she was a nurse first and this was her ''plan B.'' Fred said he worked in a machine shop to make some money for college. He said that he might still be doing that if he didn't get this gig.
Howard mentioned that he was talking to Booker recently and he lost his job down in Philly. Fred asked Howard if he would still go into the business today if he knew what he knows today. Howard said he would because he knew this was something he wanted to do and that he could be good at it.
Howard said that Booker was wondering why he picked the radio business because it's such a mess right now. Fred said that he thinks about guys like him and Kidd Chris and how the radio business can just chuck you right out.
Howard said that Booker and Kidd Chris were both fired and they're out looking for work now. It's not easy to find anything at this time.
Artie said that this show has influenced him a lot in his comedy. He said that he really lucked out with the show because he grew up listening to it. He said that it wouldn't work out with any other show because he knows this one so well. Artie said he really hit the lottery with this job.
Howard said that Kidd Chris is in trouble because he just got married and had a new house in Philly that he had to pay for. Now his wife is freaking out because she married someone who had a job and now he's out of work and she's working.
Wolfe said that his ear lobes are lower than his shoulders. Eric told him to go fuck himself and told him to get the fuck off the phone.
Wolfe asked him some more questions about his chin touching his chest and stuff. Wolfe said that he reminds him of a fire hydrant. Eric said that Wolfe's dick probably looks like a tooth pick. Howard said that Eric does have a neck, he can see it on his cam right now.
Howard said that Wolfe is just busting his balls. He said that he does have a neck. Wolfe apologized about that.
Eric said he was on the phone and said that he just wanted to give an update on the Sarah Silverman e-mail. Eric said that he went out and got an 8x10 picture for her friend who was complaining about the picture he got. Howard explained what was going on there and Eric had to correct him on his details.
Eric said that he had 5 orders after yesterday's show. Eric said that he's giving out 5x7 pictures now and that's as big as they have to be. Howard told him that 8x10 should be the standard for the kind of money he's charging.
Wolfe asked if he autographs the pictures. Eric said he does but he will only sign them ''Eric the Actor.'' Howard asked what it would cost for someone to get ''Eric the Midget'' on a picture. Eric said that he has done that but he crosses that out and puts ''Actor'' underneath it.
Artie said that Sam Simon sent him an autograph from Pete Rose where it says ''I'm sorry I bet on baseball. Pete Rose.'' He thought that was pretty amusing.
Howard asked Eric what an 8x10 would cost him. Eric said that Walgreens charges $5 for two 8x10s. Howard said that he must be able to clear at least 12 bucks. Eric said that he can clear about 10 bucks with the 8x10. Eric said that he clears $15 with some of the other pictures and with the $45 thing where he calls people, he clears a lot more.
Eric said that he will leave people a voice mail if they want it or he can talk to people live. Artie got a laugh out of that when he heard Eric say that people could play his voice mail for friends.
Howard asked Eric what he says in these messages. Eric said that he calls people and thanks them for being a fan. Gary asked him if they take the call and play it as being from a freakish midget.
Eric said that Gary is taking credit for helping him meet Diana Degarmo but he had nothing to do with it. Gary told Eric that he's an ungrateful person but Eric told him to go fuck himself. Gary told him to go fuck himself too.
Robin asked Eric what these people ask him to say on the messages. Eric said that one guy asked him to leave a message for his wife. Another guy asked him to leave it just for him.
Wolfe asked if he would do a life size cardboard cut out. Eric said that he won't do that. Gary said that he should do a bust of his head like Beetlejuice did. Howard said he'd want a life size statue. Eric said he wasn't sure if he would do that stuff.
Gary asked Eric what's not to know and why he wouldn't just do it. Wolfe said they should do a Real Doll of Eric. Howard said that he might take one of those. Gary suggested making a lawn jockey out of him. Howard said that it would be an Eric the Midget Lawn Jockey. He said they could make an air freshener out of him and hang him from the mirror. Artie asked Eric if they could make him into a Real Doll that's fuckable. Howard said that's not right. He didn't answer that.
A woman called in and claimed that she ordered a picture from Eric and he never came through. Eric claims that he never got an order from that person. Eric said that he has gotten about 20 orders so far and he's hoping to add some other stuff like coffee mugs and t-shirts. Howard said that he wants to see what he has and maybe order some of this stuff. You can find all of this at JFSC.tv/eta
Wolfe asked if they could make something, like his hands, to hang off of his keychain. Howard took another call from a woman who said she thinks that Eric has a hair system on his head. Howard asked Eric if he has a wig or hair plugs. Eric said that he has never had surgery on anything higher than his neck. The woman asked if he picks his face because he has acne scars. Eric said that he doesn't. The guys told her that she was tearing the guy down. She claimed she wasn't.
The woman asked Howard where she can buy Howard a gift for his wedding. Howard said that she doesn't have to do that but she can read about what Beth is up to at GoBethO.org.
Gary came in with the official picture of Eric that they use on his site. Howard said that he was smiling in the picture and it looked okay. Eric said that the picture on the web site is the picture of him doing his Idol show a couple of years ago.
Gary told Howard that Savanna Samson was coming in. She has a singing career now. When Artie heard that he laughed and said that he's glad he got up this morning.
Wolfe asked Eric one more question about crossing his legs in this one picture he saw. Eric said that he can do that himself and he doesn't need help like Wolfe said. Howard had to wrap up and go to break a short time later.
Howard asked Savanna how long she was a stripper. She said that it was 4 or 5 years and Howard put it into her head that she would do porn one day so that's what she ended up doing. She said that she liked working at Scores and found that all of her fantasies were okay and not so strange. She said that she got to do things that she never thought she'd be able to do. Savanna said that she got to meet Howard and do his show.
Savanna said her sister Nadine got her into the stripping thing. She used to work at Foxwoods casino serving drinks but her sister told her she was nuts to do that when she could be making huge money at Scores. Savanna said that she didn't have big boobs though so she was very self conscious about that.
Howard asked Savanna how she got the job at Scores. Savanna said that she had to go and audition at the club in the late afternoon. She wore a dress and had to strip down. She said that after one night of working they wanted her to come back.
Howard asked Savanna what kind of money she was making. She said that she was making in one night what she was making in two nights at the casino. She said that there was an innocence about her when she first started out. She said that she would talk to guys about whatever they wanted to talk about too.
Savanna said that she was 26 when she started as a stripper. She said that she had always been kind of shy about that stuff. She said that she was only 13 when she lost her virginity but she said that she wasn't able to say no to the guy. She feels that she needs approval from men.
Savanna said that she enjoys doing the porn thing. Howard said that he has beet off to her porn quite a bit actually. He said that one of his favorite porn movies has her in it. It's called ''The Masseuse.'' Savanna said that she's shooting another one of those on her own.
Savanna blew Bob Levy one time and Howard said that he was surprised by that. She said that story was kind of blown out of proportion. She said that she likes to have fun and she likes to make men feel shocked that she would give them any attention. She said that Bob was really weird around her the next day so she asked him if it was his cock that she had in her the night before and that broke the ice.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Savanna if she would ride the Sybian again today because her last ride was so good. Savanna said that she was very relaxed that time because her friends didn't really get to hear it. She said her sister saw her do it and she was shocked by that. Howard said he can't believe that because she was in porn and she does some pretty hard core stuff.
Howard said that Savanna is getting kind of nervous about the industry now. She's afraid of STDs. Savanna said that she has had come in contact with some stuff. She said she was seeing a guy for a while and he was getting stuff and cleaning up and then getting it again. She said that she got gonorrhea one time. She never had warts or crabs or anything like that. Howard asked if she ever got diarrhea. She said that she has had that.
Savanna said that she uses suppositories to clean herself out sometimes. She said it's a great way to clean herself out. Fred kept playing Dan the Farter sound clips while she was talking about that.
Howard said that Savanna is looking really good. Artie asked her about blowing Levy and asked her about all of his diseases. Howard said that Bob doesn't have any diseases. Artie told her to just ask him about them.
Savanna said that she's going to be shooting a new movie next week and she'll be working with this guy James Dean. Robin said she thought that James Dean was dead. This is a different James Dean. Savanna said that this guy is great to work with because some guys can't get it up without taking pills but he doesn't have to do that.
Savanna said that she doesn't really have an orgasm when she shoots these things. She said that they don't always hit the right spot when they're getting into position for the camera.
Savanna said that there are some guys who have to inject adrenaline into their dicks to get up. She said that some guys have to do that after doing this day after day. Savanna said that she can't take it personally but she does when guys can't get it up.
Savanna talked about her singing career a little bit and said that they loved the sound of her voice. She said that she kind of strips down during the recording sessions because she feels so much better getting naked.
Howard asked Savanna about her ex-husband and what went on with that. She said that he still takes care of her because they have a child together. Howard said that he knew that wasn't going to last with her still fucking other guys. She said that she's just not the same person she was when she first married him.
Savanna said that she had sex about a week ago with a guy that she goes to. She said that she has needs so she has to do that once in a while. Savanna said that she was going back to her husband even though it was over and she needs to be okay with herself.
Howard said that something smelled like farts in the studio. Artie was eating a breakfast burrito so it may have been that. Artie ended up throwing it out because he was freaked out by what Howard was saying. He said he can't even come to work and eat.
Howard asked Savanna about the sex thing again and she was saying that it may not have been a week ago. She said she can't remember when it was.
Howard played Savanna's song ''Obsession.'' She said that it was very sexy and she thinks that it would make the guys think about sex. Howard also played some of her song ''Move My Body'' which was another club-dance-music like song. Howard thought it was kind of techno sounding. He said that JD would probably like that.
Howard said that Savanna's album is available on iTunes. The single is available now and the full album will be available soon. She's also having a party in the city tonight. Savanna said that she'll be wearing really sexy dress at the club. She's also going to be at a convention in Edison New Jersey this weekend. You can find out more at ExoticaNY.com
Howard played more of Savanna's song and then wrapped up and went to break. He said that Chris Russo was going to be coming in next. Howard told Savanna she might want to get to know him because he's the $15 million man. Howard went to break after that.
Howard asked Chris about how long he can last out on the beach watching his kids. He said that he's got 3 little boys and he an only last about 20 minutes. He said he's tried to get them into sports but it's not that easy. They all hate sports and he can't take it.
Howard asked Chris about his life growing up. Chris said that his father loved the Yankees and he hates the Yankees. He said that he rebelled against his father and hated them because of that. He said his father never took him to games either.
Chris isn't a huge Mets fan either. He said that when he was 8 years old he saw the Giants playing the Phillies and he ended up getting the autographs of all of the Giants. He said that led to him being a Giant fan in 1968 and he's been a fan since then.
Howard asked Chris if he doesn't like any of the other New York teams. Chris said he doesn't hate them as much as people think but he doesn't root for them like he should.
Howard said that it's weird that this shit still matters to him at his age. He said that sports is so child like and he's still so passionate about it. Chris said that the core of him is sports just like the core of Howard is radio.
Chris thought he was going to be a play-by-play guy and that's what he wanted to do. He said that he got a job working in Jacksonville, Florida in 1983 doing some stuff for a team down there. He wanted to be a broadcaster but he ended up working in sales for 6 weeks. They told him that they'd let him announce if he did okay at that job. Then he got fired.
Chris said that his father wanted him to go into the family business which was jewelry. He said that he and his father were always at odds and he never thought he was going to get a job doing what he wanted to do. Chris said he didn't tell him he had no talent or anything like that but he did want him to go talk to people that he knew to help him find a job. He tried even though he didn't really know anyone in the business.
Chris said that he didn't know he was going to be a talk show host. He said that he didn't get a chance to be an announcer in that job down in Florida. He said that he sold $1800 in advertising for a double A baseball team and no one cares about that stuff. He thought he did pretty well.
Howard asked Chris about where he went to school and found out he went to a boarding school when he was younger.
Howard said he's going to guess that Chris was a virgin until he was 20. Chris said that was true. He said that he was very intimidated by the girls at school because there were some very hot chicks there.
Chris talked about getting his first job in 1987 doing sports talk on weekends and morning drive talk. He said that this guy hired him thinking he'd be a good host for a show. Chris said that the ad for the job was perfect for him. Chris said that he did two test shows and they hired him after that.
Chris said that he's working on getting his new channel going there at SIRIUS. He said he wants to make sure that Mel makes his money back on what he's getting paid. Howard said that Mel must have seen something with him and he's hoping that he can bring in the subscribers. Howard asked what they're going to use as a measurement for how he's doing.
Chris said that Mel was saying that from the number of people they had at the press conference, they had already made their money back. He said that Mel may have just been saying that but he's hoping to draw in some of his old fans.
Chris said he's not sure if he can do the same kind of great show he did with his partner before so that remains to be seen. He said that they were a team but people do think that he can do it on his own. They wouldn't have given him a contract if they didn't think he could do it on his own.
Howard asked Chris if he's listened to his old partner Mike since he left. Chris said he has tried to stay away from that since he left so he won't be influenced by what the other hosts are doing.
Howard asked Chris about what movie he would bring with him if he was on a desert island alone. He said that it would be ''Place in the Sun.'' He told the guys about what the movie was about and how great he thought it was.
Howard said that he thinks that Chris doesn't want Mike to do well on his own and he wants to see him fail. Chris said that's not true. He said that he doesn't need any more validation. His contract was enough of a validation for him.
Howard asked Chris if he ever said that he wanted parity on his show because they weren't being paid the same. Mike said that the fans don't care about that stuff. Howard asked him if Mike does super well on his own, and the show doesn't lose any ratings, he has to admit that it would make him feel better that they need him there.
Mike said that if it stays equal, that won't bother him. If he goes from a 5 to a 10 share then it would bother him. He said that would bother Mel too.
Howard asked him if he would be happy if it went from a 5 to a 2. Chris said he swears it won't bother him either way.
Howard said that he looks in the paper every ratings period and he likes to see terrestrial radio stations fail. He said that he likes to see their ratings going down at that company. He said that he feels good about that but he doesn't walk around going ''HA HA!'' Artie said that he's seen him doing that. Howard told him he's watching him too closely then.
Howard talked about how he wanted to make the move to satellite because he knew he could make the show better without the censorship. Chris said that he can see that happening with his show too. Chris said that he had to take that shot just like Howard did.
Howard asked why Chris was able to get out of his contract early. Chris said that after Labor day the radio station may have felt that the way things were going that it might be good to let him go early. He was under contract to go until next March. He said they may have been afraid he was going to go to another terrestrial radio station. It could have had something to do with the way Howard handled his contract and stayed on the air for 2 more years after signing on with satellite. Maybe they just wanted him out of there.
Chris said that if you are a sports talk fan and you want to vent and talk about what's going on in sports, his channel is going to be the place. He said he has people in mind who he wants on there. He mentioned some of the names of people who he's interested in. Chris said that he needs to find some younger guys to come in and work for him too.
Chris said that the first person he told about this was his wife. He said that he had to go sign some paperwork to get the Mad Dog trademark back from CBS. He said he had to negotiate for that. He said that he got that name from a Daily News writer who called him that. He said that his 9 year old calls himself the Mad Puppy and he doesn't want him doing that.
Chris said that he can't simulcast his show there at SIRIUS and he had to give up about half a million for doing that. He's not making all that much more moving there.
Howard asked Chris about what else he does. He said that he plays a lot of tennis and he's pretty good at that. He's been married for 13 years and has 4 kids. He said that he's enjoying what's going on in his career now.
Howard asked Chris if he ever had two girls or anything like that in his life. Chris said that he's never done that wild stuff like that. He said that back before he got married he may have been a little sexually deprived. He said his wife is 8 years younger than him and things are going okay. Howard asked if he's sexually frustrated. Chris said that he can't deny masturbating. Howard wanted him to talk about that but Chris didn't want to go there.
Howard talked to Chris about how little sports he's actually into. He said that he barely watches football but he does like to go to Knicks games once in a while. He doesn't watch tennis anymore but he used to. Howard said that he just doesn't care.
Howard said that he was on vacation and said that he told Beth that he was really missing being at work. He said that he's got a little over 2 years left on his contract and he's not sure he's going to re-sign.
Howard said that he imagines this being a great experience for the listeners out there with Chris being on. Howard said that he thinks that satellite is the future of radio. Howard asked Chris if he thinks he'll be cursing on the air. Chris said that he really doesn't curse and he can't imagine saying the F-word on the air.
Howard asked Chris if he watches porn. Chris said that he has but he doesn't have a favorite or anything. He said that he has gambled on sports too but that can be a problem. He said he likes to bet seasonal bets on football. He told Howard how all of that works and how it keeps him into the sport. He said that he would bet like $25,000 on the year. He didn't do that this year though. Howard was surprised by that. Chris said his wife is going to be surprised by that too. He said he was just kidding about that and he can't hide that from his wife.
Howard asked Chris about this not cursing thing and if he ever says penis. Chris said that wouldn't bother him but he doesn't really use the word. He said that he probably wouldn't bring it up. He said there is no reason to bring that up on the air when he's talking about sports.
Chris was asking Howard what kind of sports guys have been on the show. Howard knew a couple but Gary came in and gave a list of some of the guys who they've had on the show. They talked about the many guys who have been on and how a lot of them have been in trouble.
Robin wanted Howard to tell Chris what they did to the Stanley Cup. Chris remembered what happened that time when Jackie pretended to take a dump in the cup.
Artie said he had a serious question for Chris. He asked Chris about the first time he was hired in New York. He asked if they ever asked him to pretend to be a Yankee fan. Chris said that no one ever asked him to do that. Artie said he knows he'd never do that but he was wondering if they ever wanted him to.
Howard asked Chris who he's going to vote for in the Presidential election. Chris said that he'll probably vote for McCain. He said that he thinks that McCain is being a maverick by picking this Palin woman. Howard said that Obama is busy defending himself against Palin and it's making him look worse and McCain looking more and more presidential.
Artie said that he and Chris have Bruce Springsteen in common so he asked him what his worst song is. Chris said that it's ''Murder Incorporated.'' Howard said he doesn't know that one. Fred tried to find the song in the system but he wasn't able to find it very quickly. Chris said he likes ''Ties that Bind'' and ''Promise Land'' among others.
Fred played ''Murder Incorporated'' and Chris said it's not terrible but it's a little rough. Chris said that he's seen him a lot. Artie said that Chris has seen him like 100 times. Chris talked about getting back stage to see him once and hugged the guy like 4 times.
Howard asked Chris if he thinks that Bruce is better than bands like Cream and Jimi Hendrix. Chris said that he doesn't follow other bands like that so he doesn't look at it like that. Howard said he's met Bruce a couple of times and he's never hugged him.
Howard said that Ross Zapin goes to every Bruce concert too. Chris aid he can't go to every concert because his wife isn't into him and he can't leave his wife home with 4 kids alone. Howard asked Chris if Bruce feels solid when he hugs him.
Howard asked Chris if he's going to curse on his first show. Chris said he's not sure. Artie wanted Chris to curse on the show today. Chris ended up talking about the Giants and said ''What a FFFFFFUcking game!'' in this loud scream.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about some other sports guys. Artie was talking about how he used to listen to Chris and Mike on their show. Howard asked Chris if he would have Mike on his show as a guest. Chris said he's not sure about that.
Howard welcomed Chris to the family there at SIRIUS and told him that he's going to have the time of his life. He said that he's welcome there any time. Howard congratulated him on his move and said he doesn't think that he'll regret it at all. Howard said Mad Dog Unleashed is going to be premiering on September 15th. Artie said that he's still on Team Ferrall. Howard said that they're all part of the family so there's no need to pick teams. They went to break a short time later.
Chris stuck around for a commercial that they were doing for the NFL coverage on SIRIUS.
Howard said that one of his favorite actors is Ernest Borgnine. He said one of the first movies he ever saw was ''Marty'' and it was a great movie. He said that he wanted to re-make that movie with Artie in it and call it ''Artie.'' Howard said he was a fan of Ernest's when he was growing up.
Howard said that he had Ernest on the phone and picked up on him. Ernest was on a speaker phone so Howard asked him to get off of that. Ernest asked him not to call him Mr. Borgnine. He said that he's got a book out now (Ernie: The Autobiography) but Howard told him to wait on that.
Howard asked Ernest about his time in the Navy. Ernest was in World War II so he told Howard some stories about what went on with him back then. He said that they dropped in some depth charges that never went off. He said he's not sure if they killed any Germans back then or not.
Ernest said that he never killed a German and he never killed a Japanese guy. Howard said he must have killed someone. Ernest asked why he had to kill anyone. Howard said it was a war after all.
Howard said that Ernest is an interesting man and he's been married 5 times. Artie figured he was a broke man if that's the case. Howard asked Ernest if he had to shell out a lot of money to those broads. Ernest said that he would probably be a multi-millionaire if he didn't get divorced.
Howard said that Ernest was supposed to get paid royalties from the movie ''Marty'' but he never saw any. Ernest said that there was no suing people back then and no one wanted to go to court over that.
Howard said that Ernest must have been banging a lot of broads back in the day. Ernest said that he's not the kind of guy he thinks he is. Howard said he must be. He said that he married Ethel Merman and she wasn't much of a looker. Ernest said that she was a great singer. He kept saying she was a great singer when Howard would ask her about her being good in bed.
Howard said he read that the reason Ethel left him is because he gave her a Dutch oven. Howard asked if that was true. Ernest said there was a lot of fart smelling going on. The marriage only lasted 32 days. Artie said that he didn't think that he could like Ernest more than he did, but he does now.
Howard told Ernest to tell his wife that she's a piece of ass and he'd give it to her if she wasn't with Ernest. He told his wife what Howard was saying and seemed to be very amused by what he was saying.
Howard said he respects Ernest for going on that show where he talked about how he stays young by masturbating. Ernest said he's been saying that for a long time and he gets laughs out of it. Howard asked how old he is now. Ernest said he's 91 and he's still banging his wife ''twonce'' a week. Ernest said he doesn't have to use anything to get it up either. He said it's just plain old Ernie Borgnine.
Howard asked Ernest what John Wayne would do today if he were still alive and could see the nonsense going on. Ernest said that he wouldn't be happy about what's going on now.
Ernest said that he once told John Wayne that he was afraid to work with good actors when they were hanging out one night. He said that John was a great guy and he took that well.
Howard asked Ernest what John Wayne would have thought about this ''Brokeback Mountain'' movie. Ernest said he would have frowned upon that one.
Howard said he wondered if he would still want to masturbate at 91. Ernest said that if you still feel the need to do it then you do. He was laughing while Howard was talking about all of that. Howard asked if he watches porn. Ernest said that his wife won't let him.
Ernest kept telling Howard to call him Ernie and not Mr. Borgnine. Howard said that he wanted to respect him so that's why he was calling him that. He asked Ernie about working with Jan Michael Vincent and if he was out of control back then. Ernie said that he was kind of out of control but he was great at what he did. He said he feels sorry for him after he got caught up in all of the stuff he got caught up in.
Howard asked Ernest about this actor he worked with who turned out to be gay. Ernie said that he thought the guy was a great man and they put on a great fight in the movie they worked on.
Howard asked Ernest if he would recommend to kids to get into acting. Ernest said if they want to then it's fine. He said that he wouldn't play a gay character himself though. He said that he just doesn't have the feel for something like that. He said that he has kissed guys but only on the cheek.
Howard asked Ernie if he likes Mickey Rooney. Ernie said that he does like him and there are rumors that he doesn't. He said that he really likes the guy. Howard asked him if he likes hippies and dope heads. Ernie said that he doesn't like people who have no control over themselves.
Howard said he read that Ernie tried to kill himself after one of his divorces. The guy who helped save him was the guy who played Goober Pyle from Andy of Mayberry. Ernest talked about that a little bit and said that he's still around living in Nashville.
Howard asked Ernie about his marriages and Ernie said that he had to go through a bunch before he found the right one. Ernie said that there are a lot of people out there in show business who just show off their kids.
Howard asked Ernie if he ever had his salad tossed. He had to explain what that was. Ernie didn't know what he was talking about even after the explanation. Howard asked Ernie what his wildest sexual experience was. Howard asked him if he ever peed on a woman giving her a golden shower. Ernie said he didn't even know people did that kind of thing.
Howard asked Ernie if he likes women with a bush down below. Ernie said that he does. Howard said he knew he'd be into something like that.
Robin asked him who he likes as an actor now. Ernest said that he likes the guy in CSI but he never did get a name out. Artie threw out the name Robert Mitchum but that wasn't even close.
Howard asked Ernie if he ever tried pot. Ernie said that he did try it once. Robin asked Ernie if he was talking about William Peterson from CSI. Ernie said it wasn't him, it was the other one. It was Gary Sinese that he was referring to. He thinks that Robert Downey Jr. is good too. Howard agreed with him on those two.
Howard asked Ernie about his health and if that's good. Ernie said that it's good and he does think about death occasionally. He said that he plans to live to 113 and then tell everyone to go to hell. He said he's living in Beverly Hills and his wife has a house in Malverne.
Ernie said that he hangs out with Tom Selleck so Howard asked him if he's getting a lot of pussy. Ernie said he doesn't know about that. He just laughed. Howard asked him if he ever saw Milton Berle's penis. He said he never did see it but he heard he had a doosey of a penis.
Howard said he heard that Ernie got a hand job from Angela Lansberry. Ernie just laughed and said that wasn't true.
Howard asked Ernie who he's for, this McCain or Obama. Ernie said that he just wants the best man in the job. He said that he's not going to say who he thinks is the best. Howard gave Ernie some plugs for his book ''Ernie: The Autobiography'' and let him go a short time later.
Howard said that was a great call and it's great that he's 91 and still beating off and loving Dutch ovens. That led to Fred playing more farting clips.
Howard said he got an e-mail from someone who said that Ernest had given a Dutch oven to Ethel Merman and then he farted in bed with Beth and gave her the most heinous fart ever. He said it was a good thing she was sleeping. He had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that Langford showed up at Jackie's show to interview him about it and Jackie flipped out. Howard played the audio where Steve asked Jackie about it and Jackie says that he wasn't offended by it. He said that he asked some people to come on and help judge a beauty pageant and they refused to do it. Steve said that Gary described some nasty e-mails between Jackie and Gary. Jackie said that Steve is acting like a dork and it's total horse shit and he was trying to make something out of nothing. He called Steve a piece of shit and walked away.
Howard said that the game was going to be funny. He wouldn't ask Jackie to do something insulting, he doesn't think. He said that they're going to have Brian Dunkleman and Pete Best on as well and they both lost out on huge things. He said that Jackie left the show and that's kind of the same thing and it's funny.
Artie said that he thinks Jackie did the show for many years and he should have a better sense of humor... but it is kind of insulting that they're having him on The Biggest Loser. Howard said that Brian and Pete Best would admit that it was bad leaving the things they left and Jackie might say the same thing.
Howard said that he could see Jackie goofing on himself about leaving the show. Artie said that he can get sensitive about some stuff himself and he hates that and knows he's being hypocritical.
Howard said that Jackie carried this on right through his Jackie's Joke Hunt show last night. Jackie was goofing on Steve Langford when they started the show. Jackie was saying that they should have Steve on the show and if he doesn't do it, then they'll just never talk to him again.
Steve said that there were some nasty e-mails between Jackie and Gary and that's what he wanted to talk to him about. He thinks that there is still some tension there about Jackie leaving the show.
Artie said that he thinks that Steve is soul-less and that's why he just keeps going with this stuff even when Jackie doesn't want to talk about something.
Gary read some of the e-mails that he got from Jackie and he was very angry that he thought that he was going to do that show. Gary said it was just a miscommunication and Jackie thought he was doing it on purpose. Howard said that Scott the Engineer is going to sit in for Jackie. They found a bigger loser than Jackie. He said that Scott is thrilled because he gets to sit next to Pete Best.
Gary said that calling Brian Dunkleman was a tough call. He thought that calling Jackie was going to be the easy one.
Howard said that Jackie kept going with that stuff all night with that discussion. He played another clip of Jackie talking about how he would never do that in a million years. He said that they're mad at him now for not doing it. Howard said that he's not mad at Jackie at all. He said that Jackie is overreacting to that and no one is mad at him for not wanting to do it.
Gary said that if Jackie doesn't want to do it that's fine. He said that the thing that bothered him is that Jackie probably wrote that kind of bit for the show. Gary said he doesn't get why he's so pissed off about the whole thing.
In the clip Jackie was talking about how he never said yes to Gary about doing the game show thing but Gary thought he was going to.
Ian from Jackie's show called in and said that it was quite an adventure last night. He said that Steve was standing in the hall waiting for them with the microphone behind his back. Steve said that's not true at all. Ian said that he saw the mic come out and then started following them down the hall. He knew there was going to be trouble when he saw Langford standing there.
Ian said that Jackie screamed at Steve and Steve recoiled backwards when that happened. He said it was right before they went on the air too which set Jackie off. Ian said that Jackie was sweating the whole time too.
Howard told Ian to have Steve on the show to ask his questions on the air with Jackie. Ian said that's what he wants to do.
Artie suggested that they get Jeff Conaway on the Biggest Loser game instead of Scott. Howard said they already have Scott so they're sticking with him.
Eric the Midget called in again and said that now Langford has more people from the show pissed at him. Howard said that Steve is just doing his job interviewing people. Eric said he's doing an awful-assed job at it. Howard said that Steve is good and he waited all night for that interview with Jackie. Howard thanked Eric for the call and let him go.
Steve said that Page 69 has a new report about how Lisa G had to lock up her chocolate stash because Gary has been grabbing it. Jon Hein came in after that and gave his Wrap Up Show preview real quick.
Robin started her news with a story about Al Reynolds and Star Jones who are getting quietly divorced. They were separated before but they're working on getting the divorce to go through.
Jeff the Drunk called in and congratulated him on his interview with Ernest Borgnine. He also wanted to say that he was glad to hear him talking about SIRIUS in a good way, it's refreshing. Howard wasn't sure what he was talking about. Artie said that he was saying that he liked to hear Howard not complaining about being at work. Howard said that's interesting coming from someone who is down on everything and doesn't even work. Howard said that he gets bummed out when he has to come to work sometimes and he talks about it.
Robin got back to her news and read about this UFC fighter, Evan Tanner, who died when he was out camping. She said she was fascinated by this story. He was out treasure hunting and he was found about 2 miles from his camp site. He apparently didn't bring enough water with him out there.
Robin read a story about the Kennedy Center honoree's. She went through the list and Howard said that he likes that show and fantasizes about being on it like 20 years from now. Howard said he can imagine him being nominated with Carmen Luvana and people like that. Artie said that's not that far out of the question because George Jones is on that list and he's known for being a drunk and not showing up for shows and some other crazy stuff.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Evan Tanner wasn't really searching for treasure. She said that he was there for a holistic detox and it was being used as a metaphor. Howard said that they wrote it up in the paper and they don't use it metaphorically in the paper.
Robin read about the Presidential candidates being on TV tonight. She said that they'll be on the ABC World News tonight. She read some news about Sarah Palin and how the polls are up in McCain's favor because of her nomination. Howard said that no one seems to give a shit about Joe Biden. He joked that Biden is going to have a sex change operation to change that.
Howard said that if Obama doesn't win this, it's going to be a huge shocker. He said that they couldn't have had 8 worse years with this Bush in office and you'd think people would want that to change.
Ralph asked if Artie is getting high again because he's very verbose, loud and interrupting. Artie asked Robin what else she had. Artie said he didn't do anything today but maybe yesterday. Artie said that he was just kidding about that. Ralph asked Artie if he's okay. Artie said he's fine and said that he's not on anything.
Howard said that was kind of insulting to Artie. Ralph said he has to be getting high on something. Artie said ''Mad Dog radio!'' He was joking of course. Artie said that he's not getting high. He knows he has a bad track record but he's fine today and he's taking it one day at a time.
Ralph also asked Artie why he's so happy about Tom Brady being out. Artie said that he's a Giants fan and that's how fans root. He said he's not a hair stylist like Ralph. Artie was getting frustrated with Ralph's comments.
Artie said that Howard has wished harm upon other radio guys. Artie said that it's not that much different with him wishing harm upon other sports team players.
Robin got back to her news and had Howard play a clip of Barack Obama saying something about putting lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig. Howard said that he didn't believe that he was referring to Sarah Palin in that clip. He said that you have to talk constantly during speeches and people are taking it out of context. The guys talked about what they thought he was really saying there. Howard replayed the clip and Robin said that he wasn't even referring to Palin, he was referring to McCain. There are people out there who think he was calling Palin a pig.
Robin read some news about Kim Jong Il and how some people think he might be very ill or maybe even dead. She read a story about President Bush talking about a draw down of troops in Iraq. She had some audio of that.
Robin read a story about a dancer who claims that he was forced to dance for Israeli security to prove he wasn't a terrorist. Howard said that it's not that crazy to do something like that. He said that there are probably a lot of terrorists training as dancers who are actually terrorists. Artie said that he would ask someone to dance if he was a security advisor and his people came to him with something like that.
Robin had a story about a guy who is suing his doctors because they told him he had 6 weeks to live and he's still alive a year later. He gave away all of his stuff and has nothing now.
Robin read that Lance Armstrong is returning to the Tour De France next year. Howard said that he should just stay retired and go out on top. Robin said he wants to recharge his global cancer charity.
Robin had some audio clips of Jerry O'Connell talking about how he's mistaken for Jason Bateman quite often. Jerry was promoting his new TV show. She also had some audio of Paula Abdul talking about the new season of American Idol. She had some audio of John Leguizamo talking about working with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. She had Brad Pitt talking about his new movie. Howard said that was a deadly interview. He was so boring. They ended the show a short time later around 10:50am.
Gary said that Jackie has an attitude and he has every right to but he thinks that he just handled it the wrong way. Gary said it didn't have to be that way. Gary said that he's really pissed off about this right now. He said that he often writes e-mails and doesn't send them and he wrote about 17 of them and went off on him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he hates Jackie and never liked him on the show. The guy said that Howard said that Howard can really spin a line of bullshit better than anyone because of the way he was trying to save the Jackie thing today. Gary said that the Biggest Losers are going to be the contestants and it's not Jackie who is the biggest loser. He was going to be a judge, not a contestant. The caller thinks that they're fooling themselves thinking it wasn't wrong to offer Jackie that part.
Benjy said that he thinks that Jackie isn't as bothered by the whole thing as he seems to be. A caller told the guys that it's crazy that they're surprised by Jackie's reaction to this after knowing him for so long. Gary said he heard that Jackie was pissed when he heard that it came up on the air that he was going to be part of the game. He said that he called Jackie and told him exactly what the game was going to be about and he knew what it was.
Gary said that it's always open for Jackie to come in there. He said that it might be even more interesting now if Jackie came in to do the game show.
The guys talked about Brian Dunkleman a little bit and how he claims he wasn't really fired but he was put in a position that made him feel he shouldn't come back.
Another caller said that he broke down what Howard owes Eric the Midget for all of the calls he's made to the show over the years. He thinks that it's about $21,000. Gary said he'd get that check right out to him.
The caller was also talking about what Jackie did to Steve and how he thinks that Steve is going to get attacked by someone some day.
Gary said that Steve will do anything to get a story and he doesn't seem to be afraid of anyone. He said that Steve is on that Kenneth Keith story and he thinks that's an award winning story that he's working on. He said he's fascinated by it every time he hears what's going on with that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Jackie has proven again that he has the thinnest skin of anyone on the show. He was also saying that Jackie's show isn't funny. Gary said he disagrees about the show not being funny. He said he thinks that Jackie is very funny. He said he is upset about Jackie acting the way he did about this Biggest Loser thing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the way Steve Langford gets in everyone's face. He said that everyone hates him and he loves that. Gary said he doesn't think that everyone hates him.
A caller asked about Mad Dog Russo and what's going on with him and Ferrall. He asked which one they prefer. Gary said he thinks that there's room for 10 guys like that in the family and they're polar opposites there. He said that Chris is kind of old school and Scott is more rock and roll.
Ralph called in and asked who they believe has less of an ability to laugh at themselves, Fred or Jackie. Jon said that was a good question. Gary said that he thinks Fred has a thinner skin than Jackie. Ralph said that he thinks it's Fred too. He said that Fred has no sense of humor and you can't even say boo to him without him freakin' out.
Chris said that he and Howard have a couple of things in common even if Howard isn't all that into sports. Gary said that Howard likes to watch the Giants once in a while but he doesn't think he's seen a hockey game ever. Chris said that he could do a good hour of radio with anyone who is a good broadcaster even if they're not into sports.
Gary brought up some of the sports guests that they've had on the show over the years. They spent a little time on that.
Jon asked Chris about the questions Howard had for him about his relationships and about his former partner Mike. Chris said that he did Letterman last night and he's used to those type of questions. He said that he only had 9 minutes with Letterman though. He said that he was able to do a better job today because he was prepared.
Gary said it was shocking when Chris cursed today. Chris said that he had to do that just to get it out of the way so they could move on to other stuff. Jon said that would be ''...like masturbation and other stuff.''
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's a huge Stern fan and a Mike and the Mad Dog fan. He said that he was right on board with them in 2006 and he found that he was listening to less and less terrestrial radio. He said that he was only listening to a little NPR and some Mike and the Mad Dog. He was hoping that they'd move over to SIRIUS. He said that he's very happy that he's made the move. The guy was carrying on quite a bit about what a big deal this was.
Jon and Chris talked about the Pirates a little bit and how bad they seem to do every year around this time. They talked about some other baseball stuff for a few minutes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has some respect for Mad Dog for working in New York for 15 years. He said that he's not sure that he's going to go over very well around the country. He said that there are people around the country who listen to stuff around the country, not just in New York. Gary said that they are going to be doing a national sports show even if they are based in New York.
Chris told the guy that he's covered a lot of games down in Florida, where this guy was from, and told him that he was probably covering games that he was listening to when he was 6 years old. Chris said he'll listen to what this guy has to say and he'll cover more stuff if he wants to hear about it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he stopped listening to Mike and the Mad Dog because he didn't like Chris. The guy asked Chris if he played sports. Chris turned it around and asked the caller if a bunch of other sports guys played sports. He and the caller went back and forth on that for a short time. Chris wasn't letting him talk.
The caller said that it doesn't seem that Chris ever played sports because of the things he's said on his old show. He gave some specific comments that Chris has done but his argument wasn't all that great. Chris said that he's not going to be able to convince him after 19 years if he's already convinced.
Chris asked the guy how he could last 19 years in New York radio if he didn't know what he was talking about. the guy said that people liked him, that doesn't mean he knows that much. He said that Chris does know his stats.
Jon took another call from a fan of Chris' and let that guy tell Chris how happy he was to have him on SIRIUS. He said that they didn't always talk about sports on his old show either. He said that they day Carol O'Connor died they spent the show talking about him.
Chris talked about some of his favorite shows that he's done before. Gary and Jon knew a lot about what he was talking about because they've listened to his show.
Chris talked about how they're going to have a channel (123) where fans can go to vent and talk about sports like it's America's sports bar. Jon and Gary had to wrap up with Chris and take a break a short time later.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the Chris Russo thing is one thing there in America but up in Canada it's another thing becuase they've never heard of him up there. The caller lives up there in Canada and doesn't get the show at all. He thinsk that he's goign to fall flat there. The caller said that at least Ferrall is into hockey.
Jon moved on to talk about Savanna Samson. Gary said that she looks great and he's not even sure how old she is. He said she's been around a long time too. They talked about some of the stuff they talked about today and how she blew Bob Levy. That led to Jon playing a clip of her talking about that blow job and how she was just having fun that day.
Gary said that Savanna talks like a nice girl but she's in porn. They talked about how she's always seeking men's approval that's why she does stuff like that.
Benjy said that Savanna took the name ''Savanna'' from the book Prince of Tides and that character had tried suicide a couple of times and the character was raped. Gary said he's not sure she went that deep with the name and she probably liked the name Savanna.
Gary said that there was also a porn star by the name of Savanna who killed herself. He told that story to Jon who wasn't familiar with it.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up what Ralph was saying about Artie possibly being on something today. Gary said he thought that was wrong for Ralph to say that. Artie was very much into the interview with Russo today and he may have just been trying to bring up some stuff that he thought was relevant. Gary said that Howard liked what he was doing by helping out like that.
Jon brought up Ernest Borgnine's call and asked Gary about that. Gary said that everyone has to know who he is because he's been in so many things. He's been in tons of movies and he even does a voice on Spongebob Squarepants.
Benjy said that he loves when they have someone from a different generation on the show. He said they get an interesting perspective on life from those people.
Ralph brought up Artie again and said that he was interrupting the show a lot today. He said that he was being funny but it was kind of like he was when he was on heroin a couple of months back. Gary said he had some audio of Ralph on Superfan Roundtable talking about how Artie was a heroin liar because he had said he stole some money one time. Ralph said he thinks that Artie is saying that because it's something that he might do. He said he thinks he's deflecting on to him or something. Ralph said that Artie was just a little verbose today and that's all he was saying earlier. They had to end the show a short time later.
Gary got in a plug for an appearance he's making on the CW 11 news in New York City on Friday morning from 7:43-7:46am. He said he'll be on to promote Howard TV's Beat the Booey game show. Don't miss Beat the Booey this month. I'm on the third episode!
Howard started off the show talking about all of the guests they had coming in. They had Tony Rock, Rev. Bob Levy, Danny Bonaduce, a mother-daughter porno team and more. He said he was looking over the porno chicks on their web site. He said the mother is a ''horny cougar'' and the daughter is following in her mother's footsteps. He said that they don't bang together but they have banged the same guy on different occasions. Howard said they'll talk to them and find out what's going on there.
Howard said that he was reading the paper about John McCain and he was 10 points up in the polls yesterday and today he's down the next and then it's a dead heat and then Obama is up by 10 points. He said it really doesn't make sense. Robin said that's why she doesn't pay attention to that stuff.
Howard said he's so glad that he's out of the terrestrial radio business. He said that they have this people meter that they do. He said that Arbitron is kind of like the presidential polls where people are given diaries to write down what they listen to. He said that years ago he would get people writing to them and asking what they should put in those diaries. Howard said he told Gary to never respond to that stuff because they could negate all of the ratings if they did that.
Howard said that they used to catch people lying on those diaries so they never talked to people about that stuff. Howard said that he figured the surveys were always very tainted so he's figuring the polls are the same way for McCain and Obama. Howard said that Arbitron now has this PPM (Personalized People Meter) thing where they can tell what people are listening to instead of using the diaries.
Howard said that he used to get those letters all the time about the ratings diaries and he just never responded. He said that he would have welcomed this PPM thing when he was on terrestrial radio. He said that they had something up in Canada too where they could tell what people were listening to as they drove by. It was something like a radar gun. Howard said he went to number one as soon as they started up in Canada when that was used. Howard said that they hate when an import comes into the country and takes over like that.
Howard said he's very glad he's out of the terrestrial radio business because there's an uproar about the PPM and the guys who were listed as number 1 are now at like number 20 and all of the Spanish stations are freaking out because they're dropping off. He said that they're finding that they're not all number 1. Howard said that years ago they redistributed the ratings diaries to more Hispanic people and the Hispanic stations went to number 1. Howard said he never believed that they were accurate ratings and now he's finding out that he was right.
Howard said that the Hispanic and black radio stations have been cut in half in the ratings and they are freaking out and going to city council meetings to complain about it. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with that but Tim Sabean might.
Howard said that the ratings are probably more accurate now than they were and these guys who were doing so well in the old ratings are losing out.
Tim Sabean came in and told Howard that one of the issues with the people meter is that it records what you're actually listening to instead of what your favorite stations are. In the diary they would let you write down what you listened to but this thing will pick up what you are actually hearing. It's something you wear and it picks up stuff you may not actually be listening to.
Howard asked Tim what he would prefer if he was still in the business. Tim said he would shoot himself if he had to go back to terrestrial radio. He said that he would probably prefer the diary himself though. Tim said that you have to keep people upselling to keep them interested.
Howard said that he would rather have a people meter than the diary. Tim said that would probably work for Howard. Tim was also saying that the Canadian thing was better than that because it shows that more people probably listened than were willing to admit.
Howard said that he'd rather compete with the PPM than the diary. He said he feels that's more fair than the diaries.
Howard said the reason he's talking about this is because he's glad he's out of that rat race. He said he told Chris Russo yesterday that it was the smartest thing to come to satellite radio and get out of terrestrial. Howard said that they're using the same technology to figure out that McCain is 10 points above Obama in the polls one day and down the next.
Howard said that he used to go nuts with the ratings when they were on terrestrial radio. Tim said he was driven nuts with that stuff too. Howard said he can now do a show where he doesn't have to worry about ratings and he's able to think about other things instead of what the ratings are going to be. Tim said that they do have the option to try things that they wouldn't usually try.
Howard said that they could never do what they do there now with the Greg Fitzsimmons show, the Chuck Zito Show, Lisa Lampanelli's show or even the Superfan Roundtable show. He said they never would have taken those risks back at terrestrial radio.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how SIRIUS would effect the ratings system. Howard said they're not being measured at the moment and he kind of likes that. Howard said it might lead to them being told not to talk about certain things on the air if they were relying on ratings and possibly upsetting some sponsors.
Howard said that Chris Booker was on the phone. He used to work in Philadelphia radio. Chris sounded kind of shitty on the phone so he offered to call back on a better connection. Howard said that you have to talk hands free in a car and if you do, don't call him. Robin said she wondered what she might sound like on one of those hands free things and now she knows. Howard said that people should never make a phone call from a car unless you need directions or something.
Howard had Booker on the phone again. Booker said that the People Meter was a problem in the beginning because you have to get people to actually carry it. He said that it's tough to get them to do that. Booker said that it was such a flawed system when they first started out.
Howard said that Booker is right and who is going to want to walk around with one of these things clipped to them. He said it's a real nerdy look.
Artie said that Dan the Song Parody Man might like to wear something like that because he's kind of a gadget kind of guy. Booker said that women don't like to wear those things but guys don't mind it so much.
Howard said that Booker lives in Philadelphia and he's dating this Alycia Lane piece of ass. He asked Booker how that's going. Booker said that it's still going well. He told Howard that it did take him about a month before he got her. Howard wanted to know how long it was before he got his hog inside of her. Booker said it was quite a while.
Booker said that she's a beautiful girl and he's very happy with her. Howard said she's really hot and she's got some sweet titties. Booker said she's had a tough year.
Howard asked Booker how wild they get in bed. Booker said that they don't get that wild, it's pretty traditional. Booker said they're not doing any salad tossing or anything like that. Howard said that he'd hate to hear that she was into that because he'd probably kill himself if he did. He said that he'd be too happy if he was getting something like that.
Booker said that he heard Howard and Beth having sex one night in his old house in the Hamptons. Howard didn't know he heard that. Booker said he had to stop talking to him for about a year after that. Booker said that Howard sounded like a jackhammer that night.
Howard asked Booker where his girlfriend is at. booker said she's in North Carolina visiting her sister and he's driving back to Philly after going to visit a friend for dinner last night.
Howard said that he'd like to know if Alycia's sister is hot because you never know what siblings are going to look like. Howard said that there are some siblings that turn out to be really ugly. Artie said that he took one for the team and his sister got all of the looks.
Howard played a porn clip and said that was him and Beth going at it that night Booker heard them. Howard said that's what he should really do.
Howard said he heard that Alycia is half Puerto Rican. Booker said that's true. He said that he's been with her for about a year now. Howard said he didn't know it was only a year. He let him go a short time later.
Howard said that Booker was a popular radio guy in Philly but Clear Channel let him go. He said that his sources told him that the guy who replaced Booker lost half his audience. He said that his source was Booker though.
Here's what I had from that segment in the Wrap Up Show: Ralph brought up Artie again and said that he was interrupting the show a lot today. He said that he was being funny but it was kind of like he was when he was on heroin a couple of months back. Gary said he had some audio of Ralph on Superfan Roundtable talking about how Artie was a heroin liar because he had said he stole some money one time. Ralph said he thinks that Artie is saying that because it's something that he might do. He said he thinks he's deflecting on to him or something. Ralph said that Artie was just a little verbose today and that's all he was saying earlier. They had to end the show a short time later.
After playing the clip Howard said that Ralph was bringing that stuff up to him as well. He said that Ralph has some strange theories on Artie. He was accusing him of making up the stories about him stealing money to cover up something he's doing himself. The guys thought that was kind of out of line too.
Benjy was also saying stuff about Artie. Benjy said that Artie is the last one who would steal money from anyone there.
Howard said that he's always found Ralph to be honest and he also believes that Artie is not on drugs. He said that he has never seen Ralph steal anything. Artie said that story was a long time ago. He said that he hasn't been using again and he's not lying about that.
Artie said that he can't win because he gets shit if he sleeps on the show or if he's too verbose. Robin asked him if he's okay with them talking about him that way. Artie said that he's fine with it. He said that the money thing is another story.
Artie said that Ralph talking about him behind his back the way Howard was saying he was is just not cool and he's really not a friend if he's doing that. Howard wanted Artie to refresh his memory about the money thing that they were referring to. Artie said he didn't want to get into it though.
Howard said he kind of remembers when it was. It was the last time they went to Vegas and they were flying out to Vegas on a private jet. The guys were playing poker and they had some money on the table and they came up a little short at one point. Artie said that he doesn't want to betray anyone else there because some other people saw what happened and they may not want to be involved. Artie said it's a very personal thing.
Artie said that if Ralph was bringing it up with other people on other shows then he's really not a friend to him. Howard said that he and Ralph did talk about it a while ago and he was explaining it as something that Artie might do because he's a drug addict. Artie said that he actually makes money though so he has no reason to steal it.
Artie said that he thinks that Ralph had lost money in the game so he wasn't due any money. He said that he really didn't want to say this again but he's kind of forcing him to say it. Artie said that he and at least one other person saw Ralph take a $100 bill and stick it in his pocket and then looked out the window like nothing happened. Artie said that he and the other guy said they both saw what just happened and they came up $100 short in the game. Artie said that Ralph never said that he took the money so he and the other person pointed out that it was Ralph. Ralph denied doing it but then he said if they thought he did it then here's $100 and slapped a hundred on the table.
Artie said that no one wants to be broke in Vegas so he and this other person confronted him and Ralph got very belligerent and denied taking the money. He got very mad for about 10 minutes and then said that he would give them $100 from them just to shut them up. Ralph pulled out a crisp 100 and put it in the pot.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she's on Artie's side in all of this. She said that Artie has lied before so he could be lying about other stuff. She said that's what Ralph's point was yesterday. Artie said that he was accusing him of stealing money too though. Ralph was turning that story that Artie just told around on him. Artie said that he's become close to Ralph over the years even after that story.
Artie said that he's not going to bring that other person into the story if they don't want to get involved. Mariann told him to just drop it. Artie said he wanted to stop talking to her. Howard hung up on her so they could get out of that.
Fred brought up another story about a tip at Nobu. Artie said that was the same weekend and the same person witnessed it that witnessed the other thing. Artie said that he didn't want to bring the other person into the story if they didn't want to be in there.
Gary came in and asked what happened at Nobu. Artie said that he and Wayne Segal were out at the tables in a casino and someone came by and told them to go over to Nobu. He said they went over there and had a great time. There were about 5 of them there. He said that Richie Notar picked up the tab for dinner and they were all a little lit. He said that Richie told them to just leave a tip for the waitress and everyone chipped in for that. Artie threw in a $100 and so did everyone else. Artie said that Ralph swiped a $100 and stuck it in his pocket. He said that he and the same person witnessed that and the thing on the plane.
Artie said that he knows what it's like to be broke in Vegas and he can't imagine Ralph doing that anywhere other than there that one day. He said he's never seen him do anything else like that. Artie said that the other guy confronted Ralph on it immediately and Ralph denied it for a couple of seconds and then admitted that he did it and put the money back claiming that he was just kidding around.
Howard said that it came up on Superfan Roundtable one night and they asked him about it and Ralph claimed it wasn't true.
Howard said that Ralph is trying to get Artie dismissed as a witness in this whole thing by pointing out that he's a liar. He said he's seen many a Perry Mason and they always try to discredit the witness.
Artie said that he has never stolen anything and no one there has ever seen him do anything like that. Dominic Barbara called in and said that even if Artie has lied or done heroin wouldn't get him discredited in a court case.
Dominic said that he has seen Ralph not put the right amount of money in the pot before. Howard said that he has never seen Ralph do that. He said that there are some people who haven't put their money in the pot when they start a game.
Artie said that the only money issue he has with Ralph is the time he didn't pay him for 2 years for a bet he placed one time. He said that Ralph kept putting it off and kept getting defensive about it when he'd ask him for the money.
Dominic said that Artie owes him $1000 and he wants him to give it to Will as a gift. Artie said that every time he tries to pay him that money he tells him not to pay him. Dominic was trying to explain what they were talking about but Howard bailed out on the call.
Howard played the clip from Superfan Roundtable where Ralph was talking about what happened on that plane that time. Ralph was saying that Artie is a liar and he lies all the time.
Howard said that Ralph does seem to be building a defense there. Gary said that when you accuse Ralph of anything his M.O. is to throw the same question back in your face.
Artie asked what his motive would be in talking about this stuff. They said that there is no motive there and Artie had a good point. Robin said that Ralph is trying to say that Artie is a thief and he's trying to cover up his own issues.
Gary told Howard that the mother-daughter porn team were there. Howard said he had to get to that then. The guys talked about getting a lie detector test in there so they could test these guys out on this story.
Ralph called in and asked Artie where his $300 is that he loaned him down in Atlantic City. Artie didn't remember owing him any money. Ralph said that Artie said that his room was comped but they ended up charging him for it and he was confused by the whole thing. He said that Artie owed him the money for that. He said that he also paid Artie back for the bet that they had that one time.
Artie said that he didn't know that he owed the money for that room down there in Atlantic City if he owes it to him. He didn't seem so sure that he really did owe it to him.
Ralph said that the money thing came up on Superfan Roundtable and that's why he's been talking about it lately. Howard asked Ralph why Artie would be trying to frame him like he seems to think he is. Ralph said that he wouldn't steal money from anyone, especially after a free meal. Howard said he doesn't know Ralph that way and he's never seen him be dishonest that way.
Fred said that he never really thought of Artie as a heroin addict either so they're back to square one. Artie said that he knows what he saw and he knows it's a horrible thing to say. He said that he regrets saying it and he didn't want to bring it up on the air. He said that he knows that there is someone else who definitely saw it though.
Ralph said he didn't remember doing anything out in Vegas at that free dinner. Artie told him that he remembers it and they told Ralph they caught him and he did put the money back on the table. Ralph said that he would never do something like that. Howard said he couldn't keep this going because he has a very busy schedule. Artie and Ralph kept talking about it though.
Dominic Barbara called back in and said that he believes that Ralph is lying and he'll put $5,000 up saying that he won't pass the lie detector test. Dominic said that Artie wouldn't lie about anything because he's such an honest person. The guys tried to tell him that he's not that truthful but Dominic didn't want to hear it.
Dominic said that he would put that money up for Ralph if he passes the test. Howard said they'll set that up and get Ed Torian down there to give him the test. Ralph said that he probably won't pass because Howard has taken a test before and he didn't pass even though he knows he was telling the truth. Howard let Ralph go a short time later.
He said that Artie's book ''Too Fat To Fish'' is coming out soon and they were talking about that yesterday. He said that Artie was wondering what his audio book was going to sound like when Richard and Sal edited it. Well they edited together some stuff from the show and made a bit out of that. They had Artie calling himself a loser faggot and some other wacky stuff. Howard said it sounded pretty real actually. They had to go to break after that.
Howard found out that Ellie is 22 years old and they've been doing this for about 10 months now. The mother, Desi, is 48. Howard said she looks good for her age and she's had 3 kids. Howard asked Ellie why she went into porn because she got into it before her mother did. Ellie said that she was a dog groomer and she needed to make better money. She said that porn was the way to go.
Ellie said that she never really thought about doing it but she did some research and ended up posting an ad on SexyJobs.com to find something.
Howard said that Desi saw what her daughter was doing and ended up getting involved with it herself. He also read that her former husband was arrested and sent to jail for being with a 12 year old girl. Howard asked if the dad ever molested Ellie when she was younger. She said that he was always a great father but he went down hill after she turned 17. She said she had a very normal upbringing. She said her parents got divorced when she was about 9.
Ellie said that she was just 14 when she lost her virginity. She said she was bringing boys back to the house at 11 and blew a guy at 12. She said that she just licked it though, she didn't know what she was supposed to do at the time.
Ellie said that she was kind of an ugly duckling in school and she was more of a bookworm nerd than the hot chick. She said that she was never with a girl before she got into the industry either. She said she needed a girl to seduce her and there was no one out there doing that.
Howard asked Ellie what she did in her first video. She said that they took her to a wardrobe room and asked her to get naked so they could see what she looked like.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he likes mother/daughter porn teams and he wanted to know if they do ass to mouth stuff. He said that would excite him very much. Howard asked the girls if they would do that if they were asked to. They both said they would never do that. Desi and Ellie said that they never even touch each other in the movies. Desi said that they have heard that other teams will go down on each other but they don't know that they're really related.
Howard told the caller that it would be very tough if the two of them did ass to mouth stuff to each other. They don't even like being near each other during the scenes. Howard asked what he would end up seeing in the movies then. The girls said that they would be at least 5-10 feet away from each other in the room if they're having sex.
Howard said that he saw the two of them in a picture hugging each other naked. They said that wasn't sexual though, they were just ''glamour nude photos.'' Howard jokingly said that he has done that with his dad before so he knows.
Howard asked the girls if they undress in front of each other. They said that they do but they don't look at each other's beavers. They both said that they don't want to see each other's ''pink'' when they undress. Howard asked if Desi ever worries about her daughter when some dude is banging her. Desi said that she's enjoying herself having sex so she doesn't worry.
Ellie and Desi said that they were offered $500,000 to do a 10 guy gang bang on the same bed but they turned that down. They said that they don't want to be intimate on the same bed at the same time.
Gary asked the girls if they let a guy bang one of them and then put it in the other's mouth. They said that they do that but they have the guy clean up really well before he goes to the other one. Gary said that they did that in one movie but they don't show the cut.
Howard asked Ellie about her first porn movie and she said that it was actually a pretty good experience. She said that the guy was very good to her and it all went pretty well.
Howard asked if they would ever get Desi's mother into this whole thing. Desi said that she doesn't know about this and she would not be into it. She said that her mother is very religious.
Howard asked the girls if they have other family that they have had to tell about this. They said that they have told Desi's son about it and he told them they can't do it. Desi's other daughter doesn't know that they went through with it either but she was told that they were thinking about it.
Ellie told Howard that she told her mother about what she was going to be doing and that's when she said that she wanted to do it. Ellie said that she thought that her mother would be against her doing it. Howard asked if it annoyed her that her mother wanted to get into it. Ellie didn't have a problem with it. Howard said that it's got to be weird when she wants to rebel against her mother and then her mother gets into the same thing.
Howard asked when they figured they were going to get into the same thing. They said that their agent suggested it to them. They were asked to do scenes together and they went for it. Ellie said that it was kind of strange for her to have her mother in the room getting banged by a guy. She said she covered her ears that first time.
Howard played a clip of Desi getting banged in a scene and Ellie didn't like hearing it. Ellie said that she likes to pretend that she and the guy are the only ones in the room. Howard played a clip of Ellie getting nailed and Desi took her headphones off when she heard it. Howard said he thinks that it really bothers her that her daughter is into this stuff. Desi said that she doesn't want to see it but she's okay with her doing it.
Desi said that she was 34 before she really started learning and exploring her sexuality. She's kind of happy that her 22 year old daughter is getting into it earlier than she did.
Howard gave a plug for their web site TheFoxxs.com where you can order their movie.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that these chicks have to step up their game and just do stuff with each other. He said that he saw a mother-daughter team doing some really nasty stuff last night and they have to get into it if they want to sell some DVDs.
Another caller asked if these two do any cum swapping. they said that they don't do that. Ham Hands Bill called in and asked Ellie how many dicks she licked at 12. Ellie said that she saw 3 and she licked 2 of them. She said that she didn't know how to make a guy cum back then. Bill asked her when she got licked for the first time. She said that was when she was 13. She didn't learn to cum until she was 16.
Howard took a couple more calls and the guys were wondering what they look like. Ellie said that they have to check out their web site to find out what they look like. That led to Howard asking if the girls wanted to ride the Sybian. Ellie wanted to do it but Desi wasn't up for it. She said that she didn't really want to watch it though.
Howard said that this might be a first on the show. He said it might be the sickest thing he's ever witnessed. Will came in and asked Ellie to get naked because she might be more comfortable. Gary told her to take her top off and maybe her mother would look the other way. Howard told Ellie not to get implants because she doesn't need them. Desi said that's what they all tell her.
Howard said he wasn't going to say a word during this whole thing. Ellie licked the piece of rubber before she got on it. She said that she had to make it wet. Will told Desi that her daughter has perfect boobs. Ellie got on the Sybian and Gary started it out slow. He turned it up slowly and Ellie started to moan. She said that it couldn't be too strong or too fast. She wanted it slow and steady. Howard asked Desi if she was okay with this. She said she was fine.
Ellie said that she was thinking about getting spanked and having her hair pulled while she was on the Sybian. She kept moaning and the mother kept talking over her. Ellie kept going and said that she was getting close to an orgasm. She asked Howard if he had a big cock. He told her he had a big, thick 2 inches. She said that's how she likes it and said she was thinking about him fucking her over his desk there.
Ellie kept going and going for quite a while. Gary had the power turned up pretty high by that point. Howard told Gary to jack it all the way up. Ellie was still moaning and trying to finish. She eventually finished so Howard had Gary turn down the power slowly.
Ellie wanted the guys to pull her hair and spank her so Richie and Will were helping out with that. She told them that they did a great job helping her out with that.
Howard asked Desi if she was okay with that. Desi said that she didn't like it but she said that they did discover that they have similar fetishes and stuff like that. She said that Ellie had a good orgasm and that's a good thing.
Howard said that his fans are going to go crazy for Ellie when they see that Sybian ride. Howard told her that she's quite the performer. He said that they're on to something, he's not sure what it is but they're on to something. He gave them some more plugs for their web site.
Richie asked Howard if he thinks that Desi could out do her daughter on the Sybian. Desi said that she couldn't out do her. Howard said that he was quite taken with both of them. Ellie said that he really helped her get off when she thought about him fucking her over his desk. Howard said that it must have been his 2 inches that helped. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that Tony Rock was there so he had him come in. He looks kind of like Danny so Robin thought that's who was coming in. Howard said that Tony is Chris Rock's brother.
Howard asked Tony about his brother and where he thinks he is on the list of comedians out there. Tony said his brother is number 1 and he'd put himself around number 7. Howard said he's glad he doesn't have an older brother in radio because he's not sure he could do the same thing he does. Howard figured Tony must feel bad about what his brother does. Tony said that's not the case at all.
Howard asked Tony about when he first tried out to be a comedian. Tony said he was 18 and he was booed off before they even know who he was. He said his very first time was at the Uptown Comedy Club in Harlem. He said he got booed off and he didn't cry or anything. He said his friends were dying laughing at that. He said that made it easier to take.
Tony said that he didn't have any material at the time and he found out you can't do an act like that. Tony said he wrote some jokes after that so he'd have something to talk about up on stage. He said he didn't get the reception that he thought he was going to get.
Tony said his brother told him that he had to take his lumps and he helped him out with his act. He said that he did write for Chris' HBO show for a short time and that was a great job.
Tony said that he has 7 brothers and one of them died. Tony said that brother was his hero so that really hurt. He said he had a rough life and he had been in and out of prison and had some other problems.
Howard said that Tony's mother has a radio show too and that bothers Chris. He asked Tony if it bothers him too. Tony said it really doesn't. He said that she wrote a book and she used old pictures him in that and that's the only thing that bothers him.
Tony said that he has a new TV show and it's his third show. He said that he had another one a few years ago called ''All Of Us'' and it was on for four years. He said he made some good money on that. Tony said that the new show is The Tony Rock Project and it's more of a sketch comedy show. He said it premieres October 8th on the MY Network. Channel 9 in New York is now the MY network. Robin said that happened there about 4 years ago. Howard had no idea that's what they were calling themselves now.
Howard said that it's a tough thing for a brother to go into the same business as his brother. He said he's going to be compared to his brother every day. Tony said he knows how tough it is.
Howard asked Tony if he's married. He said he's not so Howard asked if his brother told him not to. Tony said that his brother advised him not to get married.
Howard asked Tony how he's doing with the women. He said he's doing good with them. He said he's not getting turned down or anything. He said he's getting chicks.
Howard asked Tony about what it was like in school for him. Tony said that he had it pretty rough and other kids wanted to beat him up but he and his two brothers were in school at the time so they protected each other.
Howard said that Chris might be jealous of Tony because he's getting different women. Tony laughed when he heard that.
Howard asked Tony if he's still friends with the guys he grew up with. Tony said that he still has the same crew with him that he had when he was 2 years old. He said that his friend do mooch off of him though. He said that he loans money out a lot and he doesn't get it back.
Howard asked Tony who he's voting for this election. Tony said that he's voting for Obama. He said that all black people root for black people so they all want him to win and want black people to win on Survivor and all of those reality shows too.
Howard asked Tony if he thinks that white America would vote for a black man. Tony said that he's not sure if they'll be able to do it once they get in the voting booth. Artie said that he knows people who ask him if he's kidding when he asks if they would vote for Obama.
Howard asked Tony if he dates famous chicks. Tony said that he dated Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child. He said that he just dated her, he didn't say he banged her. Howard asked Tony if he ever banged Oprah. Tony said he didn't. He said that he has had threesomes too so Robin asked how often that happens. Tony said it's not that often but it has happened.
Howard said he's proud of Tony and he sounds like he's doing better than his brother. Howard said Tony had a smile on his face talking about all of that. Howard gave him a plug for his show ''The Tony Rock Project'' and talked that up a bit. Howard said that Tony seems like a good guy. He gave him some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
Bob Levy came in and said that he's been training ever since they set up the fight. Danny said that he hasn't because he's seen his web site and has seen where he's been going. Bob said that he has been training.
Howard said that he loves Bob but he thinks that Danny is going to kill him. He said that this is dangerous and Bob is going to get hurt. Howard told Bob that he thinks he's a great guy but he's looking skinny and he still smokes. Bob said that he's been cutting back on the smoking and he's in great shape.
Bob said that they're not going to doing any martial arts and this is boxing. Danny is trained in martial arts. Danny said that a lot of guys become muscle bound when they train for a month like Bob has been doing. Bob isn't muscle bound. Danny laughed at Bob when he asked him to show his upper body.
Danny asked Bob if he really believes that he's still relevant to this conversation because no one cares about him. Bob said that no one has cared about him since ''the bus'' show. Danny said that he is relevant and Howard's favorite show was ''Breaking Bonaduce.''
Danny said that this whole thing is a set up. He said that he was on Bubba's show yesterday talking about how Bob shakes when he's standing there. Danny said he saw Bob back stage at this show one night and thought that he had Muscular Dystrophy or something. Bob said that the hit was real and he slapped Danny at that show because he was being a bitch. Bob said that Danny called him an asshole and that's when he slapped him.
Howard asked Bob why he didn't just leave when Danny called him names. Bob said that he did leave after that, he was thrown out.
Danny said that he believes that this whole thing was set up. Danny said that he thought about this whole thing for a while and said that every time he has punched someone in the face, he becomes famous. He said that he figured that he should fight Bob because he'll become famous again.
Danny said that he has won 9 of 11 fights that he's done and he's had a few knock outs. Bob said that he has never seen him knock out anyone.
Howard said that Danny is still on steroids and he's broken his hand so many times that he can't even open a jar with that hand. Danny said that his hand is a mess. Howard said that Danny has to lean his arm into the needle when he takes his steroids because he can't squeeze the needle with his hand.
Howard asked Danny if he worries about his heath using the steroids. Danny said that he can't wait to die so he's not worried about that stuff. Danny said that life isn't too short like they say. He said that it actually drags on way too long.
Danny said that he actually saves a seat at his AA meetings for his daughter. He said she's only 8. Danny said that he figured that if he were to die, his wife would marry someone much more normal. He said that he got divorced and he's going out with a 26 year old now. He said that he's getting laid constantly now and that wasn't happening with his wife. Danny said that his wife actually picked this girl out for him.
Danny said that his ex-wife Gretchen isn't dating anyone until she's officially divorced. She's the good Christian so that's why she's not doing that.
Howard told Bob that he really adores him and said that Danny really looks more intimidating to him than Bob odes. Bob said that he's done training and he's ready to do this fight on Saturday. Danny said that his trainer fought Lennox Lewis for the world championship and he doesn't know that this fight is inconsequential. Danny said that he will knock Bob out if he hurts him and he'll just make him bleed if he doesn't hurt him.
Danny said that they are doing 1 minute rounds and he figured that Bob didn't want to go 2 minute rounds. Bob said that 1 minute is a long time when you're in the ring and that should be enough.
Howard said that he bet Artie on the fight and they have a $1,000 bet together. Artie said that he's made a lot of bad bets in his life. Artie said that he really doesn't want to see Bob get hurt. Bob insists that he's not going to get hurt.
Howard wanted them to call off the fight. Danny said that they can't do that. They have this whole thing set up on GoFightLive.com and they have this new clothing line called Zuntwear and a bunch of other sponsors and stuff.
Bob said that when Danny opens up he's going to take him down and knock him out. Danny wanted to show something to Bob and let him punch him right now. Danny said that he will let him punch him in the chest right now and laugh at Bob when he does it. Bob said he wanted to save it for Saturday's fight. Bob said that his jab is going to be on Danny's face, not on his chest. Danny wanted to let Bob punch him in the face with a glove on but Bob said that he wants to wait until Saturday.
Howard asked Bob if he's still angry with Danny. Bob said that he's not angry with Danny but he does want to fight him. Bob said that he got off the booze and drugs to prepare for this fight and that's a good thing.
Danny said that he's willing to let Bob punch him right now to prove that he's ready for the fight. Howard said that this shows how nuts Danny is. Danny said that it's going to be tough for Bob to get any hits in with the head gear on.
Danny said that he just got stabbed recently. He was out running and these guys approached him with box cutters in their hands. He said that he approached the guys and they demanded his money. Danny said that he told them they were being rude when they asked for his money and he told them that the guy wasn't going to cut anyone. then the guy slashed him twice with the cutter. He said that the guy split his tattoo in half.
Bob was goofing on Danny for getting a tattoo of his girlfriend's mother's name on him. Danny said he did that because she sent him a birthday card when his own family didn't do that. Bob told him that was stupid. Danny then pulled down his pants and showed the tattoo he had on his ass. It was Bob's name.
Danny wanted Howard to make Bob punch him in the studio but Howard said he can't make him do that. Bob asked him if he wanted him to punch him in the face bare knuckled. Danny said that he wanted a bare knuckle on his chest and gloved to his face.
Howard said that Danny seems to welcome this pain. He asked him if he has Gretchen's name tattooed on him. He said that he doesn't have her on there but he has a ton of other names on him.
Howard said that Danny looks like he's about ready to fight now. Danny said he's ready to fight now about as much as any other time. Artie asked Bob to throw some jabs at his hands but Bob said he wasn't going to do that until Saturday.
Danny told Bob he was a pussy and after he loses his act is going to have to change. He said that this tough guy thing isn't going to work when he loses. Bob said that he's not the one who acts like a tough guy.
Howard told Bob that he's going to get his teeth knocked out. Bob said that his teeth are always falling out so that's no big deal.
Howard gave Danny and Bob some plugs for the fight which is coming up this Saturday in Broomhall, Pennsylvania. You can watch the fight on GoFightLive.com.
Danny and Bob said that the fight is going to be live on that web site and their fight should happen around 9-9:30 or so. Danny said there's a good chance that the fight is going to last 6 seconds. There are some under card fights that will be going on before their's.
Howard had Ralph on the phone and he was laughing in the background as Danny was talking about some stuff that made him sound nuts. Ralph said that he thinks Bob is going to get beaten because Danny has retard strength. Bob said that he's not going to lose.
Howard asked Bob if he has fought anyone. Bob said that he did fight two guys and he got his ass kicked by two semi-pros. He said that he learned what he was doing wrong in those fights.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bob is going to kick Danny's ass. The guy cheered Bob on to win the fight and Danny clapped for the guy.
Bob told Howard that this is just another sport to him and he's been playing sports his whole life. Bob said that Artie saw him beat a guy up at a comedy club one night. Artie said that he did see the fight but it was very quick. It wasn't a boxing match, it was just a bar fight.
Danny asked Bob a question about a bone in his hand and Bob didn't know the name of it so Danny didn't think that he was a real street fighter because he didn't know the name of it. Bob said that all roid heads are retarded.
Howard asked Danny why he's going into this whole thing and why does he get involved. Danny said that he doesn't care and he likes to feel the pain. He said that violence got him into this room today and that's why he's doing this. He said that violence has gotten him almost everything he's ever had. He said that his father started putting out cigarettes on him when he was 6 and they beat him by not flinching when he did that stuff. Danny said his father once beat up his brother so bad that his face swelled up until there were no more features left.
Danny talked about his father dying and how he was told about it during a radio show. He said that he heard about it and went back on the air and said that his father had finally gotten him something he wanted and finished his show.
Bob said that Danny's stories are fucked up. He said that he's going to knock his ass out on Saturday. Danny said that he's going to break Bob's ribs. He said he's going to punch him in the head a couple of times and when he raises his hands he's going to break his ribs.
Hook Nose Mike called in and said that it sounds like Danny is taking Bob very lightly and he wouldn't take him that way. Danny said that he just yelled at his girlfriend and trainer a couple of days ago because he is taking Bob seriously and no one else is. Danny said that he is very nervous about this because Bob is a big man. He said that he's not trying to disrespect the guy because there is a chance he could take him down.
Fred asked Bob to shadow box a little bit for them. Bob said he would do it if they got him his gloves. Fred said that Bob looks like he's ready for an IV and a walker and not for a fight. Fred said that he boxes but he would get his ass kicked by the guys he trains with. Fred said he talked to Bob about all of this and he's very nervous for him.
Artie said that he thinks it's going to be a better fight than they think it's going to be. Bob put on some gloves around then and did some shadow boxing for them. Bob threw some punches and Howard said he was showing his speed and coordination. Danny was coaching him a little bit. Howard said he didn't know what any of that meant.
Fred said that he was going to do one thing before saying anything. He played Taps for Bob and said that he's leaving his arms open and he's done if he does that in the fight. Gary said that Bob was very slow with his punches too.
Bob asked Danny to throw some punches too. Danny got up and put some gloves on and did some shadow boxing too. Artie asked if Howard wanted to give his money to charity if he loses the bet to him. Howard said he's keeping his money. Fred said that Bob does have a pretty decent right.
Danny threw some punches at Richie Wilson's hands. He was going on for a little longer than Bob did. Richie said that Danny was in attack mode with him. Artie said that Richie wasn't giggling as much with Danny as he was with Bob.
Howard said that Bob may have been holding back so he doesn't show all of his cards with Danny. Danny showed the guys that he got a little coffin ring so he can carry around Bob's ashes when he dies.
Howard asked Fred who he thinks could win after seeing what he saw. Fred said that Bob has a good right but he thinks the edge goes to Danny. Robin said that Fred is right. She said that Bob was standing upright and not bending his knees or anything.
Danny said he thinks Bob is doing this to get famous. Bob said that he's already famous. Danny said ''Yeah, you're a household name... I've asked.'' Bob said that he would love to knock out Danny because he's just a loud mouthed mother fucker. Danny said that's his job.
Howard asked the guys when they're going to be doing the fight thing. Bob said he'll be there Saturday. Danny said he's got some stuff to do today in Philly.
Danny said that he bit a guy up and the video is on YouTube right now.
Howard said he's going to watch the fight on the web site that they mentioned. He gave them some more plugs for the fight and the web site where you can watch it. Howard also gave Bob some plugs for his web site RevBobLevy.com. Danny said that he has heard that Bob is very funny in his shows. Bob said that the loser has to open up for the winner of the fight.
Howard said that he really doesn't think that Bob is going to win this thing because of the smoking and drugs he does. Bob said that he's been clean for 3 months now and he's going to be fine. Danny and Bob were still going over what their plans were. They were both saying that they were going to beat each other's asses.
Artie said that he will be at the fight in Levy's corner. Bob asked him to do him a favor and not fall asleep. Artie said he didn't know he was going to be a corner man for Bob. Bob said that he's just going to be the chair man. He said the fight is going to be much better than they think it will be. Howard gave Danny a plug for his radio show that he does on 97.1 out in Los Angeles and then went to break.
Howard said that Danny told him a story about going to Las Vegas as a kid and they had a sign that read ''Danny Bonaduce and Louis Armstrong'' and when they drove by his father punched him in the head asking him what he was doing above Louis Armstrong.
Fred said that he has read a lot about Danny and it seems like he's been through a lot. He said that he feels sorry for him after reading about all of this stuff. Fred told Howard about one story where Danny was goofing on David Cassidy and David came running at him to choke him. Danny called his father and told him what was going on and his father came down to the set to beat the shit out of David so he had to hide from him. Howard said that stuff is wild no mater how you look at it.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone and gave him a plug for his book ''Get Real!: The Untold Story: Sexy, Scary, Scandalous World of Reality TV!.'' Howard said it's still out on the top of the charts. Artie said that he heard that Mike is also a bottom sometimes.
Howard spent a minute talking about some of the stories that the Enquirer has been breaking lately. Mike said that they have more on Sarah Palin this week. He said they have more people coming forward to tell them about her possibly having cheated on her husband. The people up there are terrified of coming forward though because she's such a tough person up there in Alaska.
Howard asked what else they found about Palin. Mike said that they found an incredible amount of drug use by her kids. He said that the son was addicted to oxycontin. Howard said that all, or at least a lot of, kids make mistakes and experiment with drugs. Howard said that maybe he made some mistakes and straightened up.
Fred said he read that the son was going into the military to get out of jail time. Mike said that he is going in there to get himself straightened out. Mike talked about the pregnant daughter and how people wouldn't put up with that if it was happening on Obama's side.
Howard had Mike get to his game after that. Here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Steve said that George Takei and Brad are getting married soon but they have not yet signed a pre-nup, they've been too busy. They also invited William Shatner and he didn't even respond.
Steve said that High Pitch Eric is more than a month behind on his rent and he's claiming that others in his building are even farther behind. Steve also mentioned that it's the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. That led to Howard talking about how he thinks that people may forget the effects of that day. They were also talking about how even the newspapers are forgetting about it and not putting that stuff on the front page. It was only 7 years ago.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down his list of subjects that they'd be trying to cover today. That led to Artie talking about how he thinks the Levy and Bonaduce fight is going to be better than they think but he's not so sure Bob is going to win. Fred said that if Bob can get that right in there then he might have a chance. Howard said that he was kind of saddening to him today and he really doesn't want to see Bob get hurt.
Hunter said that he hasn't had hand to hand combat but there has been some combat. Hunter said that they just lost a guy on base when he was on R and R. Hunter said he really likes this and he's volunteered to stay on for more time.
Ralph called in and said that Hunter isn't telling his stories very well. He said that he sounds kind of out of it today. Hunter said that he was hit in the face with some shrapnel. Ralph told Howard about some of the stuff he was doing over there and he could be doing the same stuff for those big companies over there but he's staying in the service.
Howard asked Hunter if he misses the pussy. Hunter said that there is no pussy out there in Afghanistan. There's no alcohol either. He said that it's that and the girls that he misses. Hunter said that he came back and found some chicks when he came back for the R and R. He said that they've kind of shut down the Playboy mansion. They're going to have one more party this year and that's it. They'll still have the corporate parties but that's it for the private parties.
Howard told Hunter he's a real man and he surprised the hell out of him. He asked him how old he is. Hunter said that he's turning 37 this year. He said that he's a E4 and he's only been in for just over a year now. He said that you have to put your time in and then move up. Robin said that he's almost a Sargent. Hunter said that he's a corporal but he will be a Sargent.
Hunter said that he's not going to make it his life but he does want to stay in as long as he can. He said that his perspective has been changed on some stuff. He said he still loves the beach and stuff but you can't live like that in the Army.
Howard asked Hunter who he's going to vote for. Hunter said he hates to say it but he's going for Obama. He said that they need to make some change. He said he was all about McCain but they really need change and Obama looks like he can do that. He said that Obama has his attention right now.
Howard told Hunter to go out and kill some of those Taliban motherfuckers for him. Hunter said he will do his best. Howard told him to bring him Osama's head. He told him that's his mission. Hunter said he'd mail it to him.
Howard asked Hunter to put his name on some bullets that he shoots at those Taliban motherfuckers. Hunter said he'll make up a whole magazine of bullets with his name on them. Howard said that he likes that Hunter is over there fighting for us. He said that it's thanks to guys like Hunter that they're trying to defeat these cowards.
Howard asked if Hunter knows where Osama is. Hunter said that he thinks he's up north toward the Pakistan border. Robin asked Hunter if he'll be able to turn this stuff off when he gets back. Ralph said that he turned it off as soon as he was off for R and R. Ralph said he was banging chicks as soon as he was back.
hunter said that he's over there until sometime next year. He said he'd like to stay one more time after that and do a total of 3 tours over there. Hunter said that the lifestyle isn't his but he wants to be over there in the action. Howard told him he's brave beyond words.
Artie said that there is a lot of crazy shit going on over there in Afghanistan. He said that they heard stories about the kind of crazy shit they're up to over there. He said that the area that Hunter is in is supposed to be one of the worst.
Robin said that Hunter was kind of crazy right before he went over there. She thought he wasn't going to be prepared for it but it sounds like he's liking it.
Robin read a story about the Austrian family that was locked in the basement for almost a quarter of a century. She had a story about a guy who was seen punching an injured kangaroo to unconsciousness.
Howard brought up a story about an insurance company that wants to name a stadium but they used to pay off the Nazis back in World War II with dead Jewish people's policies. The guys all talked about that for a short time and had thoughts on wether or not they should name it after the company. Artie said that it would rub people the wrong way even if they aren't the same people they were back then.
Howard asked Robin if, 100 years from now, Al Qaeda has become a legitimate company and they want to name a stadium after themselves, would that be okay. Gary said that's not the same thing though. It's not that they want to name it the Nazi stadium. Artie was saying that he'd be upset about it if he found out in 5 years that this company did that with the Nazis. Robin told Artie he's driving a Mercedes and they're German.
Robin wondered why Howard is giving Mercedes business too because he's going off on this other German company. Howard said that Mercedes is a nice car. He asked her to move along.
Robin mentioned that she went to see this play called Equis and Daniel Radcliff is in it, with his penis hanging out. Howard said that most people in a play like that have to have a good sized penis. Robin said that it was a pretty good size. Robin said that it would be hard for her to take all of him in her mouth.
Robin read a story about this super collider project that's going on and how there are some people who think that they may bring an end to the world when they run the particle smasher at it's full power. Howard said he's against all of this stuff even though he knows nothing about what's happening.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's from the same town where Will got married. He said that they had bag pipers there and they ended up crashing the ceremony. Howard said that's weird. Howard said that weddings are pretty lame and he can't imagine wanting to crash a wedding.
The guy knew details that made Will think that the guy was actually there. Howard thanked the guy for the call. The guy said that they only went in for the ceremony and then left. He said that they didn't want to bother anyone. He said that Ronnie was the creepiest of the guys they met.
Artie said that something weird happened at his party. He said that he had a lot of people walking into his party that weren't invited. He said that there were kids in his pool without supervision and he didn't even invite those people. He said that he has to have security there next time to make sure that doesn't happen again.
Sour Shoes called in with a 9/11 song for them. Howard said that he hopes it's serious. Shoes played the song and sang a song that he wrote about 9/11. It sounded like a serious song and Howard said it was kind of weird to hear him singing a real song. He said it would be wild if he turned out to be a genius. Fred said that it really wasn't a good song so there was no worry about him being a genius. Robin said it sounds like American Idol.
Howard thanked Sour Shoes for the call and hung up on him as he was starting another song. Howard said he thought it sounded pretty good actually.
Robin read some news about Kim Jong Il and how he may have suffered from a stroke. Howard played some more of the Artie audio clips that Richard has been working on.
Robin read a story about the guy who wrote the Superman comics and how there are some people trying to save his home. Howard said he got a letter about saving the guy's house and he said he really didn't give a shit. He said that he will never visit the guy's home or anything like that so he's not going to help save it.
Robin read a few more stories and updated one about a guy who treaded water for 14 hours with his son after they were swept out by the tide. Robin said that they did get pulled apart that day but the father kept in touch with the son by saying ''To infinity and beyond'' because the kid was autistic and he would respond to the ''To infinity...'' and say ''... and beyond.''
Robin read some news about President Bush looking over this 9/11 anniversary for the last time as President. She had some news about Barack Obama and John McCain not running ads today and how they're going to be laying wreaths today at the World Trade Center site.
Robin had some news about Sarah Palin going back to Alaska for the first time since her nomination. She had some news about the violence over in Afghanistan. It's higher than it's been in a while and we seem to be losing that war over there. She had some audio of a guy talking about how they could win over there but we are not winning right now.
Robin said that the ''lipstick on a pig'' comment has caused some outrage from John McCain's camp even though he used the same term a few months ago.
Robin said that David Letterman had Barack Obama on his show last night. She had Howard play some clips from that appearance. Letterman and Obama were joking about the lipstick on a pig thing. Dave asked Obama if he has ever put lipstick on a pig. Howard said he would never waste his time with a question like that.
Robin read some news about the MTV Video Music Awards and how the host was goofing on the Jonas Brothers wearing promise rings. She had some audio of Jordin Sparks talking about her promise ring. Howard said that no one wants to fuck her anyway. He said that she's kind of chubby and she probably doesn't have that many options anyway.
Robin read a story about Los Angeles passing an ordinance to force fast food restaurants to have calorie counts on their menu items.
Robin had some news about the virgin who was on the show the other day talking about auctioning off her virginity. She said that she's making national news now. She had some clips of Dennis Hof talking about the whole thing.
Robin read some news about Eric Carmen of the Raspberries being arrested after crashing his car. Gary came in and said they have video of him being arrested and they show the cops having to hold him up because he was so drunk.
Robin said that they still don't know who the Zodiac killer was but they have someone who claims their step-father was that person. Robin quickly went through a few more stories as Howard was rushing her through because it was 11:15 already. Robin had some clips of Tyler Perry talking about his career. Howard cut them off short trying to end the show. Robin had even more stuff to read so she just kept going. She finished up a short time later and they ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon asked Bob about the fight and what he says about the people who say that this isn't a real fight. Bob said that it's really not a set up and him hitting Danny isn't going to make him a star.
Gary said that Bob has a pretty decent right but then he heard that he was asked to do that stuff out in the hall and he was doing even better. He thinks that Bob may have tanked in the hallway to fool Danny. Bob said he's not going to let Danny see all he has. He said that everyone is going to be shocked when they see this fight.
Gary told Bob that he's a really nice guy and he seems to care about everyone but Danny is nuts and doesn't give a shit about anything. Gary said that he doesn't seem to have any fear. Gary said that Bob doesn't seem to be afraid but he's not as nuts as Danny.
Jon asked Leon what he had to do with Bob to get him into shape. Leon said that when he met Bob he saw that he was determined and Bob showed him a lot. They have gotten his conditioning to go through the ceiling and they had to bring him around to make him able to stick it out through the whole fight. Leon said that he sees a first round knock out with Bob taking down Danny.
Bob said that Leon molded him into a different person and he will never go back to doing the drugs and drinking because the high he gets in the gym is better. Bob said that he lost 20 pounds by going to the gym for the past month. He said that Tim Sabean saw him and went running to his trainer.
Gary said that Danny does have strength but Bob doesn't seem to have any showing like Danny does. Bob said that it just doesn't show. Leon said that he has taught Bobby how to throw a correct punch and he can take some punches as well. He said that they taught Bob by having him fight with some amateur fighters. He ended up getting his nose broken and a black eye but he learned from that.
Shuli came in and said that he knows how Bob lives and for him to get down to 180 pounds and focus like this is amazing. He said that Leon has Bob listening to him and Bob doesn't listen to anyone. Bob said that he's like his mentor now and he's motivated to be healthy and not be a coke head anymore. Shuli said that it's insane that Bob is turning down coke from fans. Shuli said that Bob has a great shot at beating Danny.
Leon said that Bob is going to have to get some jabs out there to Danny because Danny is going to come out swinging.
Jon went to the phones and the first caller asked if Bob really wants more leather on his face and if he was going to be coked up before the first round. Bob said that his face is actually looking better now and he won't be on any drugs. Another caller said that he thinks Levy is going to get his fuckin' ass kicked. He told him that he should have to eat blue cheese out of Bonaduce's ass when he loses.
The caller said that he thinks that Bob is a loser and they just about have to pick him up out of a wheelchair when he's there. Bob said that he thinks that the guy is a homo and he wants to see that happen.
Jon said that Howard had similar concerns about Bob and played some audio from the interview where Howard told Bob he was going to get hurt.
Bob said that kind of talk just gets him more motivated. Benjy asked if he has put any bets on himself. Bob said that would probably be illegal so he hasn't done that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they really don't know a lot about fighting and just because a guy is big doesn't mean he's going to win. The guy said that he's only 5'2'' tall and he can kick the ass of guys who are much bigger than him. Gary said he gets that and he sees that Leon has trained Bob to fight very well and he does appear to have a shot.
The caller said that crazy guys fight out of control and if Bob can control him he has a shot. Gary said that Danny has fought like this like 10 times and he has some experience with it. The guys said that Bob has been fighting some amateur fighters though.
Leon said that Danny isn't fighting anyone and he knows who to avoid in fights. He said that Danny thinks that he could beat Bobby up because of what he looked like months ago. He has to look at Bob now and think that he's got some skills. They had to go to break a short time later.
Will also said that Howard had the ass to mouth thing wrong and said that it's when a guy stick's his dick in a woman's ass and then puts it in another woman's mouth. Benjy said he was wrong about that and it can be a guy licking a woman's ass and then kissing her. The guys told Benjy he's wrong about that.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking to the women about what they do on camera when they film scenes. The guys talked about how they don't really have that fetish where they want to see a mother and daughter doing stuff.
Gary said that he was told he had the creepiest line of the morning when he told Ellie to take off her top and her panties and her mother would look the other way.
Jon said that Will and Richie were helping out by spanking her and pulling her hair. Will said it was hard to get used to that with a wedding ring on his finger. He said he should be able to get used to it though.
Richie said that the hair was standing up on Ellie's arms when she was on the Sybian. He said that her mother was also looking away and not watching while it was going on. He also thought that it was odd that Fred didn't bail and leave the room at the time. Artie seemed kind of freaked out by it too according to Richie.
A caller asked who from the show is going to the fight tomorrow. Bob said that Artie is going to be there in his corner. He said that Sal and the guys from Miserable Men will be there. High Pitch Eric will be there since he's everywhere.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Will is a god because he was spanking a porn chick less than a week after his wedding. Will laughed. Gary asked Will if he's had any discussions about that with his wife. Will said that he has his own boundaries in his head and he doesn't think that he's crossed any lines. Richie said that she may be cool with it like Doug Goodstein's wife is cool with stuff like that.
Benjy asked if the guys would participate in a mother-daughter thing if they could. Jon said he wouldn't. Will said he doesn't think he could do it with someone who is that damaged. Benjy said he would do it if he had the chance. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's special was over by about 12:55pm.