|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
We heard from Howard talking about how the name of the band was brought up and how they named it after Scott. Fred also said a few words about that.
They went into a clip where Howard was talking about how they had Green Day's equipment in the studio and they were going to put a band together. Here's what I wrote that day...
Howard Jams With Scott The Engineer. 10/14/97. 7:40am
Before Green Day came in to play a couple of songs Howard wanted to play with their instruments. He wanted to perform ''Gloria'' along with Scott The Engineer on drums. Howard sang lead and Robin, Jackie and Fred were backup singers. Of course it didn't sound that great and right after they were done playing the members of Green Day popped their heads in to see if their instruments were okay. Howard didn't know that Green Day were there otherwise he wouldn't have messed with their stuff. Howard talked to them for about 10 seconds then took some phone calls. Green Day wasn't scheduled to perform until 8:30. Howard settled on naming the group ''The Losers'' after throwing out a few names.
Jenny Jones Comes In. 11/10/97. 7:30am
Talk show host Jenny Jones came in to plug her new book ''My Story''. Howard heard that she used to be a drummer in a band so he had a bunch of instruments set up. Before they got really involved in the interview Howard and ''The Losers'' played ''Wipe Out'' and another song with Jenny. The rest of the interview was about how messed up Jenny's life has been. Her father used to embarrass her by telling her that her breasts were too small. He'd even tell her to do things like put ice on them to make them bigger. When she got older she got implants but they turned hard and really messed her up. She's had like 5 sets of implants and a couple of them have burst open inside her chest. She's had a hell of a life. We also found out that she's 51 years old! She and Jackie used to work together. She used to be a stand-up comedian. If you'd like to learn more about Jenny's life check out her book.
Willie Nelson Comes In. 3/16/98. 7:55am
Willie Nelson was supposed to be coming in to perform a song parody called ''On My Knees Again'' to the tune of ''On The Road Again''. Howard's band, The Losers, were going to assist Willie when he performed ''On The Road Again'' after the parody. The Losers consists of Howard, Jackie, Fred and Scott The Engineer. A little while before Willie came in The Losers had to practice to test out the instruments. Well, as usual nothing went right. The instruments weren't set up correctly and it sounded pretty crappy. There wasn't much they could do so they just brought Willie in to perform. Willie talked with Howard for a few minutes and did about 2 lines of ''On My Knees Again'' before giving up on it. Then he just wanted to do ''On The Road Again'' with The Losers. Howard was supposed to play keyboard, Fred was playing bass, Jackie was playing guitar and Scott was on drums. Howard's keyboard sounded like crap and all of the instruments were not mixed properly. They made some quick changes and did the song. Scott The Engineer's drum playing was way too fast. A guy called in after the song and said that it sounded like a Polka band doing the song. Later in the morning Howard played the tape back of their performance and he got really pissed. It turns out that his keyboard playing didn't come through the mix at all. This turned in to a huge discussion late in the show. Howard was arguing with Tom Chiusano and Richie Herbie the head engineer at the station. It happens almost every time they have a band perform. It sounds like they're going to try and make this work better from now on but we'll have to wait and see. Willie didn't stick around much after doing the song. It was pretty quick.
The Losers Perform Live In The Studio. 03/17/1998. 7:30am
Howard got back to the big jam session he and the guys had in the studio yesterday. They started jamming at about 11 in the morning and he didn't leave there until after 1 o'clock. Robin said that she heard them playing during the break and they weren't all that great. Howard said he was going to call the whole thing off then. He wasn't going to play for her if that's what she thinks. She said she didn't hear this new song they wrote so she still wants to hear that.
Howard asked John what this song is about. John said it's called ''Skunk'' which is about weed. It's not obvious that it's a pot song though. Howard wanted to have The Losers play live but Jackie was still being left out of the band.
Howard said they had John singing, Fred playing guitar, Brian playing drums and himself playing keyboard. He said he really thinks they have a hit song on their hands. Everyone got ready to perform. John asked for some echo but didn't get much of any. They started the song a short time later. John sang as the other guys were abusing their instruments.
The guys got through the song and Howard said that Eddie Van Halen had walked in and started hitting him as he was playing keyboards. Robin said the song wouldn't be so bad if it was in the hands of some real musicians. She also thought that they hadn't written anything, it was just the Twilight Zone theme song being played with some lyrics. They got back into the song a little bit to show Robin that it wasn't like that at all. They ended up performing the whole song again.
Howard said he thinks the song is good but Robin was laughing and told them to keep working on it and maybe they'll have something there. Howard said he thinks Eddie Van Halen is out there trying to steal their song. Gary came in and said that he turned down the volume in the green room and Alex Van Halen said ''thank you'' when he did that.
Eddie had come into the studio so Howard asked him for his opinion. Eddie was off mic and ended up trying to play the song on Howard's keyboard. Eddie wasn't saying much. He was all over the studio and they weren't able to follow him. Eddie went over to Stuttering John who he had a run in with a while back. Eddie wanted to apologize to Stuttering John for getting so upset with him after he had asked him some goofy questions. Eddie was wandering around the studio so Howard wondered if he was going to be able to calm down. Gary told Eddie that they were on the air and he ended up walking out. He may not have known that they were actually broadcasting.
We heard from Fred who was talking about the band and how they always seemed to pull it together at the last second when they'd perform agaisnt other bands in the sutido. He siad he's baffled about how they were able to do it though. That led into another day when The Losers played ''Skunk'' one more time. From my archives:
The Losers Perform 'Skunk' One More Time. 3/19/98. 7:40am
On Tuesday Howard tried performing his new song 'Skunk' with his so-called band ''The Losers''. Today they decided to give it another try but this time Fred would be the lead singer instead of Stuttering John. John would go back to drumming and Brian would be out of the band. Howard was still playing keyboard. Fred was also playing guitar. The song did sound a little bit better with Fred singing it although John was overwhelming with is background vocals. Howard kept his mouth shut during the song. Fred's guitar playing was also pretty good. It should be since he's in his own band called ''King Norris''. The audience response was very positive believe it or not. A lot of people were calling in saying the song was great. I thought it sounded a bit ''80's'' but then again, I'm not a music connoisseur. Stuttering John said that he'd record it in a studio so it would sound more finished. Fred will play guitar for the studio version but I doubt that Howard will join in on the fun. If it ever gets released as a single(yeah right) I'll be sure to let you know.
James Brown Comes In. 6/19/98. 9:05am
Singer James Brown came in to promote his new album ''Back Again'' which will be out in August. Mr. Brown is sometimes unintelligible while speaking so it's very hard to follow what the hell he's talking about. Mr. Brown brought in two lovely white women. One of the women sang a song but it didn't sound that great to me. James thinks she's really good though so maybe I'm deaf. James was in a good mood this morning so Howard asked him to perform ''Papa's Got A Brand New Bag'' with The Losers. The Losers consists of Howard on keyboards and Scott The Engineer on drums. Gary was playing trumpet again. I think that Jackie may have played guitar and Fred on bass? I'm not sure about that though. So anyway James said that he'd love to sing along with them. Well the music sound okay except for Gary's trumpet. It sounded like someone beating a seal to death. James sounded good and that may have made the band sound better than they actually were. After the song Howard took a break. When they came back James told Howard about using the boner drug Viagra. He said he doesn't have a problem getting it up but wanted to give it a try anyway. He said that he was able to perform for 4 or 5 hours. After completing his duty he'd rest for a half hour or so and he'd be ready to go again. He doesn't recommend people using it too much though. You can hurt yourself doing it too much.
The Losers Rehearse For James Brown Appearance. 1/25/99. 6:20am
Tomorrow James Brown is coming on the show so Howard and his band ''The Losers'' will be backing him up on a song. Howard had them rehearse a couple of songs so they could decide which one to play. They tried ''Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud'' and ''I Feel Good.'' Fred was singing lead with Robin backing him up on ''Say It Loud.'' Howard was on keyboards, Jackie on bass and Stuttering John was on drums. Gary was attempting to play his trumpet but he's a little bit out of practice so it sounded awful. That's the whole point of having him play though. So after they tried the two songs I believe they decided to do ''I Feel Good'' because it's a little easier to play. Tune in tomorrow to hear how they do. After the rehersal Howard pointed out how red KC was this morning. It turns out that KC went to a tanning salon this weekend and turned bright red. Howard wondered why he would subject himself to something like that. KC said that he thinks a nice tan is healthy looking on a person. Howard asked him if he knows that tanning is no good for your skin. KC said that it's a controlled environment for a controlled amount of time so it's okay. Howard told him that maybe instead of tanning he should be taking a class so he can learn how to spell. He said that KC can't spell ''the'' sometimes and he needs to do something about it. KC told Howard that he has a spell check now so why would he want to take a class. KC said that the tan gives him self confidence.
James Brown Comes In. 1/26/99. 8:35am
Legendary singer James Brown came in to promote his new album ''I'm Back.'' James was all wound up when he came in and immediately went over to get Robin. He wanted her to come out of her ''fish tank'' to give him a hug. She didn't come out but told him she would later. He and Howard spent some time talking about women. James also told Howard that he uses Viagra when he has sex. He's 65 so he needs a little boost to get himself going sometimes. James spent a couple of minutes talking about how great Howard is. They love each other. Howard had James' entourage come in to introduce themselves also. There were a bunch of people with him. There were record company people and a couple of women singers who James really enjoys. His bodyguard ''Snowman'' was also there. Eventually Howard got James to do an impromptu performance of ''I Feel Good'' with The Losers. The Losers consisted of Howard on keyboards, Fred on lead guitar, Jackie on bass and Stuttering John on drums. Gary is down in New Orleans preparing for the Thursday show from the NATPE convention so he wasn't there to play trumpet. Maybe that's why they sounded so good. They did that song then James pushed Howard off the keyboards and had some other guy play while James' female singer did a song. Howard hadn't planned on them doing that song and he tried to end it by taking a commercial break but it just kept going on. Howard said James was yelling at Stuttering John for his lousy drum playing during the second song. Before James left Howard played some of James' new single ''Funk On Ah Roll'' which has a '90's kind of sound to it. He also played a little bit of ''Peace In The World'' which James was begging for him to play.
Farting Maria. 6/9/98. 7:50am
After Chris Crap made his debut last Friday this woman called in and said she could fart on command just as well as Chris could. She showed up today to demonstrate. Maria doesn't create her farts the same way as Chris did. Chris was able to suck air in through his ass but Maria does it by swallowing air and letting it work it's way out the other end. She said that because she's a singer she's able to manipulate her diaphragm to force the air down through her intestines. Whatever she does, it works. She was able to blow some really nasty farts at will. Plus they come out stinking unlike Chris Crap's farts. His didn't travel through his intestines so they're stink-less. Howard had Maria play along to a couple of songs too. She'd fart when the song would stop. Howard noticed that she makes a weird face when she's doing her farts. Gary described it as looking ''like a guy doing a guitar solo..''. She wasn't aware that she was doing that. During the segment Howard took a call from another guy who claims he's just as good as Maria and Chris. Howard is flying the guy in so he can demonstrate it in person. After that guy called in Howard came up with an interesting idea. He wants to take his band ''The Losers'' on the horrible new Magic Johnson show. Playing along with The Losers would be Maria and Chris Crap. The Losers would play something like ''It's A Gas'' and Maria and Chris would back them up with farts. Howard put the offer out over the air so if any of Magic Johnson's people were listening they'd have an exclusive with Howard. Howard has been lying low lately staying off of tv as much as possible but since Magic's show sucks so bad it doesn't make much difference. Howard tried to blast a fart near the end of the interview but almost crapped his pants. Eventually he snuck out a quick blast. Maria did a couple more just before she left and the last one she did was really nasty. It was kind of juicy and bubbling.
Magic Johnson's Producer Calls In. 6/29/98. 8:50am
Well, it looks like Howard will be doing Magic Johnson's show this week. Howard has been saying that he'd do it if they called him so he could discuss it on the air. ''The Magic Hour'' producer Todd called in this morning to ask Howard to come on the show. After a long discussion they finally agreed to do it Thursday night. Howard is planning on flying out to California after the show Thursday. Howard's band, The Losers, will play ''Wipeout'' and will have Chris Crap, the farting dude, fart during the song. It'll be Howard, Jackie, Fred and Scott the engineer playing in the band. They also want to have Robin do the beginning of the song where it goes ''Ah ha ha ha ha ha.. WIPEOUT''. At first Todd said that they wanted them to come on later in the month but Howard and the gang will be on vacation for two weeks. Howard said he wanted to be able to promote the show before he goes on so they decided to do it this week. There's still a chance that it won't happen though. Howard talked to Chris Crap later in the morning and it sounded like he wasn't really into doing it. He said he can't get out of work. He told Howard that he'd have to think about it. Howard said if Chris doesn't do the show then he's not going to do it at all. Todd the producer also has to check into a couple of things before they confirm the Thursday night thing. So it's still up in the air. If they confirm it I'll be sure to post it here.
Howard Confirmed To Appear On ''The Magic Hour'' Thursday. 6/30/98. 6:55am
For some reason this whole thing turned into big news. On page 2 of the New York Post was a huge story about how Howard has agreed to do Magic Johnson's show. Yesterday Howard spoke to Magic's producer Todd (not sure how to spell his last name). They spent a long time working things out but finally came to an agreement. Howard will fly out to California after the show on Thursday, then tape the show in the afternoon. The show will air Thursday night. It'll be Howard, Jackie, Fred and Scott The Engineer playing ''Wipeout'' with Chris Crap, Maria and Jeremy the farters backing them up. It should be great. Howard talked to Todd again later in the morning just to make sure that he's not being lied to about being able to have the farters do their thing. Todd said that Howard will be able to play his song and it should air as long as it's within reason. So far it looks like things will go as planned but Todd will check with the executives just to be sure. I'm sure this isn't the end of the story though. Tune in tomorrow to find out if it's still going as planned.
Don't Miss Howard On ''The Magic Hour'' Tonight. 7/2/98. 6:05am
Howard mentioned how this whole Magic Hour thing is a nightmare. The one farter, Chris Crap, had to cancel because his parents don't want him doing the tv show. Then Howard said that his agent called him and said ''The Magic Hour'' people want him for the whole hour long show! Howard said that he doesn't want to do a whole hour. Then they wanted Robin to do the show after Howard but she doesn't want to do that either. They wanted the whole show to be Howard. Then came Scott The Engineer. He was asking Gary if he was going to get a car service to and from the New York airport. Scott will be playing drums tonight. Howard freaked out because Scott took the $30,000 from everyone back in January for his sucky sit-ups. Now he's asking for free car service? Scott said that he was just asking if something was already set up, not if Howard would pay for it. Howard spent a while goofing on Scott about all of that. The other thing that amazed Howard was how much press he's getting for doing ''The Magic Hour''. The New York FOX affiliate is sending their reporter Penny Crone out to California to cover the story! Tonight's appearance should bring the shows rating up but I'm sure it won't last. Don't miss this very special appearance! Check your local listings for ''The Magic Hour'' on FOX.
The Losers Rehearse. 7/2/98. 6:55am
Howard held a quick rehearsal for the band so they could figure out how they're going to do this mess on ''The Magic Hour'' tonight. Howard's band The Losers will be playing ''Wipeout'' with some people who can fart on command backing them up. The losers consist of Howard on keyboards, Fred on guitar, Jackie on bass and Scott The Engineer on drums. Robin will be starting the song off with the ''Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha WIPEOUT...'' part of the song. I believe she'll also be playing the tambourine. The rehearsal actually went pretty well. Howard would put his hand up at a certain point and everyone would stop playing so he could demonstrate where the farters would come in. He left a lot of time for the farters. If FOX doesn't censor this, it'll be the funniest thing ever shown on a late night show. After rehearsing ''Wipeout'' they tried doing ''Paranoia'' for when Ozzy Osbourne came in later this morning. That didn't go quite as well as the other song but Fred had the guitar part down pretty damn good. It was kind of a waste of time because Ozzy couldn't sing today.
Howard Talks About His Appearance On ''The Magic Hour''. 7/20/98. 6:20am
After Howard talked about the ratings of the show he took a break and came back to talk about what happened behind the scenes. He said they rehearsed before the show and all of the farters couldn't perform. None of them could fart on command like they could on the radio show. Howard then explained the airline flight out to California. He said that he luckily got to sit next to Jackie instead of the depressing Scott The Engineer who managed to get a seat in first class. He did have to ride with Scott to the airport though. Scott was supposed to hitch a ride with Fred in a taxi but Fred got a ride with Robin instead so he had to find another ride. For some reason Howard let the sad-sack ride with him. Howard may have been happy for a little while that he got to sit next to Jackie but Jackie ended up doing some annoying things. Howard said that Jackie pulled out his laptop computer and started giggling at his ''Cackling Screensaver'' that he's always plugging on the show. Jackie just loves to laugh at himself. Then Howard said that Jackie went to sleep and ended up putting his seat in the fully reclined position which was right in the lap of the guy behind him. Howard told Jackie that maybe he should give the guy a little room but Jackie just said something like ''Screw him!'' and went to sleep. Since Jackie was sleeping he missed his meal. After Howard ate he tried to take a nap but when Jackie woke up and discovered that he'd missed his meal he made a big stink and ended up waking Howard. Howard said that once he's awake like that he can't fall asleep again. Once Jackie ate his meal he reclined his seat back into the lap of the guy behind him and fell asleep which pissed Howard off. Sounds like a fun trip! After that Howard said that when they were coming in for a landing the pilot came on and asked that people put their belts on and turn off any electronic equipment. Jackie then picked up his laptop and turned it back on. The flight attendant then had to come and ask him to turn it off. Howard said she had to wait there while he shut the damn thing down. Jackie tried to deny that he turned it on after the message but Scott said he watched the whole thing and it was true. Wow! Jackie's like a little kid!
Howard said at one point that he can't believe that they let them perform the farting song on national TV. One caller asked if the show was edited a lot. Howard said that there wasn't anything edited. If you saw it you may have noticed that Jessica Hahn vanished after making a quick appearance. That wasn't an edit, it just showed how bad the show is.
Today's Evolution Of The Losers was over by 11:30am.
The Losers Rehearse ''Rhythm Of The Night.'' 09/22/1999. 6:15am
After the break Howard was thinking of taking some phone calls but then decided to do the band rehearsal with The Losers. They're going to be competing against Barry Williams, who played Greg Brady on The Brady Bunch, so Howard was just calling him Greg Brady. Howard was going to be playing the steel drums in the song so he asked for Fred's help a little bit in that.
Gary told Howard that Barry's people were telling him that there's some kind of thread through all of the songs on his album that they might want to ask him about tomorrow. Howard played some of the original version of ''Rhythm of the Night'' to prepare for this band practice. That's the song they're going to perform against Barry tomorrow. Howard prepared for the band practice and had Steve the Engineer help out with set up.
Everyone was fumbling with their instruments so Howard told them to get their act together and get going. Everyone else sounded fine, Howard was just pounding away on the steel drums not really playing much of anything. Robin asked him if he knew what he was even playing. Fred started to sing but his mic wasn't open. Then they turned his mic on and the instruments could barely be heard. Howard started banging away on the steel drums once again when he was given the signal to start.
Gary was supposed to be playing trumpet but when he was asked to start playing no sound was coming out. Howard kept banging away on those steel drums though. Fred was singing while Scott the Engineer was on the regular drums. Howard said he was really wailing on those steel drums but it was very hard to play with the rope tied to the sticks. He said he was really working hard on that.
Howard asked Fred if he knew he couldn't be heard and why he didn't do anything about it. Gary told Howard he wasn't able to get one sound out with that trumpet. He said he lost his lip but Howard told him those lips aren't lost at all, they're still there. Gary tried to play it again but nothing was coming out. Howard said he thinks that his lips have actually grown.
Howard took some phone calls and let the fans comment on that performance. One guy suggested they just let a cow with a bell around it's neck walk around the studio instead of playing those drums. Howard said it didn't sound that bad. He talked about how the engineers have to get their act together before tomorrow. That led to Howard going off on Scott the Engineer for not having everything set up right. Scott came in and tried to defend himself saying he heard Fred just fine in his headphones. Howard said no one else could so he wondered what the problem was.
Howard and the guys were all complaining about the engineering on the song and how their mic's were all turned down to volumes that couldn't be heard at points during the song. Howard said he's just cursed and he really doesn't want to come to work some days. Howard told Gary not to ever consult Scott on this stuff but Gary said it was actually Richie that set it all up for them and assured him it was all good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the song was horrible. He suggested a Rusty Trombone so Howard told him that was funny and hung up on him. Another guy said that Scott's drumming was awful. He also pointed out that all they could hear was Howard's drums and the bass being played. Stuttering John said he could only hear the bass in his headphones. Howard wanted to hear the replay of the song so he could hear how bad it was.
Gary said that his trumpet was sabotaged and clogged up with something so that's why he wasn't able to play it. He said he'll be prepared for tomorrow though. Howard talked about how he thought his own drumming was great but everyone else told him it was awful. He said he was just trying to get into it.
A caller told Howard he has pictures of Fred's wife kissing and hugging another man if he wanted to see them. Fred said he doesn't believe the guy had anything like that. Howard told the guy to bring them down. He said the guy in the picture is a white guy when Howard asked if he was black or white. The caller said he couldn't make it down there until tomorrow morning so Howard said they'd send someone down to pick them up instead. Howard laughed and said he can't wait to see those pictures.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jackie has a picture of his wife up on his web site and it looks like she's missing a tooth. He wondered if Jackie beats the tar out of her. Jackie didn't get into that so Howard dropped the discussion. He said he's got a bunch of stuff to get to today but he had to go to break.
Barry Williams Comes In To Perform With The Losers. 09/23/1999. 8:20am
Actor/Singer Barry Williams who played Greg Brady on the 70's TV show ''The Brady Bunch'' came in to promote his new album ''The Return of Johnny Bravo'' this morning. Howard was also prepared to play a song off of Barry's album with The Losers.
First thing Howard asked Barry was why he doesn't just change his name to Greg Brady. Barry said he's known as a lot of things but he likes his real name. Howard also said he couldn't figure out why he did his album. Barry said it was a nostalgia thing for him because the songs are what he heard growing up.
Howard spent some time interviewing Barry about what's been going on in his life. Barry said that he got married 10 months ago to an investment banker. He said that he was married one other time but he doesn't talk about that mess. He said that the marriage didn't end well.
Howard also asked him if he got laid much when he was growing up as Greg Brady. He said he had his fair share of women. He sort of dated co-star Maureen McCormick but they didn't have sex. He said they did everything but that though. Barry only made about $1000 an episode back then but he said his parents invested the money for him and he has a nice nest egg growing for him.
They spent a few minutes talking about the guy who played the father on ''The Brady Bunch'' also. Barry said by the end of the series they all pretty much knew that the guy was gay. Barry said that he never came on to him though.
One of the girls back in Howard's office, Anne Marie, has always liked Barry and she was really excited to meet him. She came in almost in tears because she was so thrilled today. She told him that she grew up watching the Brady's and thought that Greg was really ''Groovy.'' She said she still watches the show today. She was thrilled when Howard told her she could sit in while Barry performed his song. She got to hold hands with him for a little while also.
Howard eventually got around to doing the song but he had some extra stuff going on. Dan the Farter came in to blast some nasty farts during the song and Ramone the gay guy came in to be a go-go dancer during the song. They all got into place and they started off the song ''Rhythm of the Night.'' Howard was playing steel drums, badly, and Gary came in with his awful trumpet playing at a couple of points. Dan the Farter was blasting away and we later found out that he crapped on the floor! He was trying just a little too hard. Barry was a good sport about all of this. He sang right through the song and didn't even seem to mind the crap on the floor. Jackie was gagging in the background after seeing the crap on the floor.
Barry managed to get a plug in for BarryWilliams.com while they were talking about the mess. He told Howard he had a great time though. Howard wrapped things up and plugged Barry's album and Nick at Night's 30th anniversary of the Brady Bunch celebration that takes place on Sunday from 9pm-12am this week.
''Rhythm Of The Night'' Reviews. 09/23/1999. 8:55am
After an edited out commercial break Howard got some really negative reviews from listeners who called in. Howard then replayed the tape of the awful song. Howard thought that his steel drum playing wasn't that bad but almost everyone else disagreed. There were a couple of callers who actually thought Barry did a pretty good job keeping the song going with all of the distractions.
Dan the Farter returned to blast Robin's news theme. He said he had to go to the bathroom to clean up his mess. He thought everything was out of his system during the Barry Williams thing but it wasn't. Jackie pointed out that Barry was the only one who would have seen Dan make the mess. Howard soon had Dan warm up for the news theme. Then they played her music and Dan farted right along with it with some really long, juicy blasts. Howard called him the ''Dave Matthews of diarrhea' and the ''Da Vinci of doot.'' Dan has a web site under construction and said he'd announce it the next time he's on.
KC came in, freaked out, and yelled at Dan when he saw more crap on the floor. Dan said he didn't do it but there was some shiny stuff on the floor. It turned out Dan wasn't aware that he'd done it again but it was from him of course. KC made him clean it up this time. Dan asked Howard if he'd sign the folded up mess but Howard told him to get out of there.
Howard Prepares For Battle Of The Bands. 6/14/00. 9:25am
Next week Howard and the guys, also known as ''The Losers'', will battle Tina Yothers' band on the air. Howard doesn't know what song they'll be performing yet but he's thinking of doing a King Crimson song. He was practicing his ''Ahhhhh...Uhhhh.. Ahhhhhhhhh'' parts of ''In the Court of the Crimson King'' for a few minutes but that's the only part he can do. He told Fred that he'll have to pick up where he leaves off. Gary said he's got to have a more current sound because one of the judges is going to be the guy who signed Pearl Jam to a record label. Howard said he wants one of those talk box things like Richie Sambora had earlier in the morning. Yeah, that'll help..
Howard also got a call from the owner of ''Completely Bare'' which is a hair removal service in New York. Howard went one time and said it didn't work on his hairy arms. The woman told Howard that she promises him that if he goes all 4 times that he needs to, the hair will be reduced quite a bit. She wouldn't promise him that it would be gone for good though. Howard hates body hair and wants it gone from his arms and belly. Scott Einziger from E! came in and told Howard he'd go with him to get hair removed. Scott has tons of hair on his body that he wants removed. Howard told him that he can try it out first to see if it works. Howard doesn't want to go during the summer because you're supposed to stay out of the sun during the procedures. Howard eventually said that he doesn't even know why he bothers with any of this because when all is said and done he still looks like crap.
We heard a few words from Fred between these two segments. Fred talked about how nerve racking these competitions could be.
The Losers Rehearse. 6/20/00. 6:55am
Howard hasn't rehearsed the Losers since last week and they have to play later this morning. No one was prepared for this other than Fred and Stuttering John. They worked on the song after-hours and had it ready to go. Then during a commercial break Fred discovered that when Tina Yothers' band came in for their rehearsal they screwed with his amp settings. He tried to fix them as best he could but they were still off a bit. Jackie's new job was just to hit a gong at the end of the song. The guys went ahead and played King Crimson's ''In the Court of the Crimson King'' but when they were done Robin said that the song had lost all of it's balls that it had last week. They'd tried to bring the song up to date by making it a little more rockin' but today it was back to it's 1970's sound. Howard had to move on to Lawrence Taylor so he put off rehearsal until later.
Later in the show Howard and the band tried the song again. This time they were a little more rockin' but it still wasn't much better. Howard had heard that Tina Yothers' band was goofing on him so he was trying to get the band motivated to rock. It's the song that just doesn't work. They also needed a lot more rehearsing. Jackie's ''Ahhhh Uhhhh Ahhhh'' parts also sucked so bad that Robin had to yell at him to stop singing.
Battle Of The Bands: The Losers vs Jaded. 6/20/00. 8:35am
Howard put out a challenge a few weeks ago saying that he and his band ''The Losers'' could beat any of the celebrity bands out there. He mentioned Keanu Reeves, Russel Crowe, Tina Yothers and a few other celebrities who have bands. Tina Yothers' band Jaded took the challenge and showed up this morning for the battle. Before bringing in Tina and her band Howard told Scott that he wanted him to cover his head. He suggested a paper bag or something like that. The OJ mask was suggested also but they went with a paper grocery bag. They cut out a mouth slot and his shoulders so it fit over his head.
Howard brought in Tina and spent a couple of minutes talking to her. Tina was on ''Family Ties'' when she was a young girl. Howard asked her why she wasn't ever asked to be on Michael J. Fox's show ''Spin City'' like her TV father was recently. She basically told Howard that she's out of acting now and hasn't really kept in touch with Fox. She said they got along fine when they worked together but they didn't stay in touch. She said the only one she really sees is the kid who played ''Skippy'' on the show. She said ''He never goes away..'' Tina told Howard that after ''Family Ties'' she got stuck with some has-been type work and decided that wasn't for her. She then got in to music and now she says she's very serious about the music. She said that her brother writes most of the music and she writes the lyrics. She described her music as having a ''funky'' sound. Howard said he classifies The Losers music as being heavy metal. Tina heard the rehearsals and said The Losers sound awful.
Howard had 3 record industry people in to judge the competition. He introduced each one and pointed out which bands each one has signed to their respective label. First up was Michael Goldstone from Dreamworks. He signed Pearl Jam and Rage Against the Machine and is now working with Buck Cherry. Next up was Craig Kallman from Atlantic Records. He has signed Lil' Kim, Sinead O'Connor Aaliah and.. get this... Stuttering John. He told Howard that everyone has a dark chapter in their life and John was his. He's also working with P.O.D., Taproot, Jewel and Brandi. The third and final judge was David Masse from Epic records. He has signed Oasis, Silverchair and KoRn among others.
Howard explained to the judges that he wants them to look at the two bands like they're the only ones in the universe. They are to think about the look and sound and how it would go over with the kids who are buying albums. He also made sure to tell them that The Losers haven't practiced much and Tina's band practices every day.
Howard prepared to perform and brought in two Scores dancers, Ivy and Shantel, to liven up their act a little bit.
The Losers performed their song and it was the best one yet but that's not saying much. Howard then had Jaded perform before getting the judges thoughts on the song. Jaded performed their song and sounded pretty good musically. Tina had a pleasant sounding voice and the band wasn't bad but.. To everyone's amazement, all three judges said that if they had to pick one of the bands to sign to their label they'd have to go with The Losers! Michael said that the musicianship of Jaded was better than The Losers but The Losers would have a more commercial sound. Craig said basically the same thing. He said that Jaded wasn't bad and Tina was a good singer and the song was ''okay'' but he'd have to pick The Losers as long as they drop Jackie. That was a done deal as soon as Howard heard that. He kicked Jackie out of the band. Finally David told Howard that it was a difficult decision but he'd have to go with The Losers. He also agreed that Jackie had to go though. David also said that there are too many bands like Jaded out there and The Losers would be a better pick.
Robin was confused by the whole thing. She said that these record industry guys either know everything or nothing.. She couldn't decide. Even Howard seemed surprised that all three guys went with his band. Gary found it hard to believe so he asked the judges if there was any ''fear factor'' in their decision. He thought that perhaps they were afraid that if they didn't pick Howard that their songs wouldn't get played on the station. They all said that wasn't a factor at all. Howard also said that he didn't set this up at all. Jaded didn't believe that though.
Howard told Tina that she sounded good but The Losers won. Howard took some phone calls and the Stern fans were pretty much in favor of The Losers also. You can find out more about Jaded at JadedOnline.com. Howard is now ready to take on Keanu Reeves and his band Dog Star and any other celebrity bands that want to take the challenge.
The Losers Experiment With ''Hurdy Gurdy Man''. 8/15/00. 8:00am
Howard and his band The Losers will be doing a Battle of the Bands against actor Tim Russ and his band this Friday. Howard has decided to go with Donovan's ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' as their song. This was decided yesterday so Howard had Fred work out some musical arrangements for it. Fred put together a tape to give Howard an idea of what it might sound like. This morning Howard told Robin that he was still working on it so this was just an experiment. He played Fred's arrangement and sang the song pretty well. It actually sounded decent. Howard was singing in a soft, mellow voice which Robin didn't like too much.
Howard took a couple of phone calls to find out the audience reaction to it. One guy said that he sounded okay but when he performed against Tina Yothers recently he shouldn't have won. A woman called in and told Howard he sounded great. One guy wasn't happy that Howard was going with a Donovan song but everyone on the show thinks that's the one to go with. Gary told Howard that he shouldn't change the song too much because he actually sounded really good.
We heard a few words from Fred and Howard about their performance of ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' back in 2000 and how they thought it was one of their best ever.
Battle Of The Bands: The Losers vs Tuvok (Tim Russ). 8/18/00. 8:20am
Howard brought in three judges for today's Battle of the Bands. He also brought in Tim Russ, who plays Mr. Tuvok on ''Star Trek Voyager''. Howard spent a few minutes introducing each of the judges including Steve Stauff who is the Executive Vice President of Interscope records, Tom Calderon who is the Senior Vice President of talent and music at MTV, and Jason Flom who is the President of the Lava label under Atlantic Records. Howard spent a couple of minutes giving out everyone's credentials before moving on to Tim Russ. Tim says that he's confident his band would beat The Losers in this battle. He said that The Losers are going to sink like a Russian sub. The deal was that if Tim loses the competition he has to wear his Vulcan ears from ''Star Trek Voyager''. He had the ears with him just in case. Howard was ready to begin right after interviewing everyone so he got started. He introduced The Losers and started to play. They immediately ran in to trouble. There was a nasty buzz coming from somewhere so they had to start over. They started over and they had the same problem so Howard had to take a commercial break. Howard said that Tim's band must have come in and sabotaged the equipment or something.
After the break Howard came back and said that Steve told him that they shouldn't have gone first. They should have let the other band go first so they'd experience the technical difficulties. The Losers performed their unusual version of Donovan's ''Hurdy Gurdy Man''. They sounded about as good as they could possibly sound. Fred's guitar playing was better than you'd think and they didn't seem to have any problems. Howard was happy with the way it went off also. He took another break so that Tim's band could set up their equipment.
When they came back Howard took a couple of phone calls who said that Howard sounded surprisingly good. Howard then let Tim Russ and his supporting band, Neal Norman & His Cosmic Orchestra, perform ''Money Talks''.
It didn't sound too bad but Howard let the judges be the judge of that. Howard told them to judge this like they had to sign one of these two bands to their label (or play a video on MTV). Jason was the first one to tell Tim and the Cosmic Orchestra that he had to pick The Losers. He said that the Cosmic Orchestra made The Losers look young. He said that the Cosmic Orchestra looks like they could have been a ''..wedding band in the Truman era.'' Howard said that they should change their name to ''The Viagras''. Steve was up next. He complimented The Losers choice of outfits. He said that the Cosmic Orchestra had ''crazy outfits'' and said that they had a Liberace feel. He also picked The Losers as the winners. Finally, Tom Calderon from MTV went. He said that Tim's band sounded ''tight'' but the outfits were tough. He said that he had to go with The Losers mainly because of Fred's guitar playing. He said that it was amazing and it fits in with ''today's sound''. Tim thought that this was all rigged but Howard swears that it's not. He told Tim that Tina Yothers just called and wants to join him on the ledge. Tim wasn't affected by this judging though. He told Howard that he wants to have a rematch on the west coast with his own judges. Howard told him ''any time!''
Howard told Tim that he's spare him the embarrassment of wearing his Vulcan ears. Gary came in and told Howard that The Losers may be battling Doug Flutie's band in the near future so they have no time to rest. Howard says he's going to remake ''Jeepster'' for his next battle.
Before Tim left KC brought in some stuttering guy who wanted to complain to Tom about MTV not playing enough music videos. The guy came in but he stuttered and mumbled so much that it was too hard to understand what he was talking about. Tom told the guy that MTV plays just as much music as they ever have and they got rid of the guy. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Tim about Star Trek conventions and groupies before he ended the segment. You can find out more about Tim at TimRussWebPage.com
Today's special was over around 10:40am.
Various Stuff. 1/17/01. 6:05am
Howard and his band The Losers had their first rehearsal yesterday for tomorrow's Battle of the Bands against the Flutie Brothers. Howard said it didn't go well and he walked out after 2 hours of disaster. He said there were many technical problems and that led to problems with Scott the Engineer and Stuttering John screwing up their parts. Howard said that Scott the Engineer is the worst drummer ever. Fred said that he can't believe that Stuttering John is a musician. Howard said that he's not really a musician and he only got his album deals because of him.
There was one good thing that almost came out of this mess. Howard said at one point Fred was leaning over his amplifier adjusting stuff and his ass crack was smiling at everyone in the studio. Stuttering John went to get a camera but by the time he got back with one, Fred had pulled up his pants so there is no evidence. That broke up the tension so that no one killed anyone else.
Howard decided to give the rehearsal one more try after taking a commercial break. He said they were warming up during commercial and it wasn't going well. They tried to perform ''Sunshine of Your Love'' and it was just as expected.. awful. Howard, who still has a cold, couldn't sing. Well, he never could, but he was even worse today than he has been in the past. Fred's guitar playing was good but that was about it. Robin said that Howard's singing was the weakest link in the song. The music was fine sounding to her. Howard said he hates the song and he can't sing it. Howard said their only hope is to sabotage Doug Flutie's band. Howard listened to the tape of his performance and it was worse than he expected. He said he couldn't hear everyone in his headphones and it was hard to sing along. It was one giant mess. Howard conceded his win to the Flutie band already. He said he's done with The Losers from now on. He feels defeated already and he's just giving up.
Various Stuff. 1/18/01. 6:05am
Howard brought up a news story about Jesse Jackson and his illegitimate child. Robin said when she heard about it on the news this morning it actually made her smile.
Howard said that yesterday's band rehearsal for The Losers was all a farce and they're actually prepared to beat Doug Flutie's band later this morning. Howard also heard that Doug's band is worse than he thought. He said that Doug is the drummer of the band and some of the reviews he's gotten aren't very good. One report said that Doug actually misses beats during songs.
A listener called in and said he was driving through Cincinnati yesterday and the discussion about anal sex was cut out and music was played instead. Howard can't believe they're starting that already. He apologized to the people of Cincinnati for the new affiliate's actions.
Howard and The Losers had another rehearsal this morning. They changed songs to T-Rex's ''Bang a Gong (Get it on)'' and they actually sounded pretty good. Not great, but not that bad. Howard said ''We are GREAT!'' and Robin said ''Well, lets talk about this..'' She said the sound was kind of muddy coming over the radio. Howard played back tape of the performance and it didn't sound that great to him either. The drum level was too high and Scott the Engineer's drumming was awful. Howard yelled at him for sucking so bad. Scott said he couldn't hear anything and that's why he couldn't keep a beat. Howard took a bunch of phone calls and they weren't all that negative. One guy said it sounded great. Others called in and said they could play drums better than Scott. Gary buzzed in and said that Scott's intern Joe is a drummer also. He came in and said that Scott wasn't all that bad. Howard told him to get out if that's what he actually thinks. He was just kidding though. He sent Joe over to the drums and had him play a bit. Two seconds in he was better than Scott. Fred gave Joe some quick advice and The Losers went at it again. This time the drumming was better, the levels were better and they sounded a little better than before. Howard said it was genius. Robin just said ''Oh, please''. She said the levels were still off a bit though. Howard said it's enough to beat Doug Flutie so that's all they need.
Between the two segments we heard Fred apologizing to Scott for all of the times they've kicked Scott out of the band.
Battle Of The Bands: The Losers vs. The Flutie Brothers. 1/18/01. 8:45am
Football player Doug Flutie and his band The Flutie Brothers came in to compete against Howard and The Losers in a Battle of the Bands. Howard says that he thinks celebrities shouldn't be in bands unless they're actually musicians. He has competed against Tina Yothers and others and has won. Howard warned Doug about this and said that this isn't a set up. The judges will be judging the bands on their performance and will decide if they should be in the music business at all.
Howard said that Doug made a phone call to Brother Wease up in Syracuse while he was in the green room. Doug said that Wease has been a good friend of his for quite while so he called in to the show this morning. Flutie also said that he's a very conservative guy and Howard scares him.
Howard introduced the three judges who were:
After the break Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Doug before they performed. Doug gave his prediction for the Super Bowl too. He said it'll be Giants 17-10.
The Flutie Brothers then performed a song called ''Roller'' by April Wine. Howard gave them the use of the Scores dancers to make things fair. The Flutie Brothers sounded pretty decent but the song wasn't the best one to pick. The Judges seemed to agree. Chris Schwartz said that based on presentation he'd have to go with The Losers even though The Flutie Brothers were technically better. He said if he wanted to sell records, he'd have to go with The Losers. The Fluties were pissed and said that this was a setup. Howard then let John Tita give his evaluation. John said that The Fluties' vocals and guitar were great but, once again, The Losers had a better presentation so they got his vote. Last up was Michael Caplan. He also went with The Losers even though the Fluties played better. He said that Howard has ''it'' with his charismatic personality and that's what would sell records.
The Flutie Brothers were upset over the loss but Howard insists that this wasn't a setup. He then let the record company guys plug their stuff and let Doug plug his web sites FlutieBrothers.com and DougFlutie.org which will bring you to the band web site and the autism organization that Flutie has.
After taking another break Howard took a call from some other record company guy who said that one of the judges called him and said he wants to sign The Losers. Howard said he would never do that because they're making fun of these celebrity bands so it would be hypocritical of them to sign.
Battle Of The Bands Update. 6/21/02. 7:55am
Howard brought up the Battle of the Bands thing again. He said that Fred has put his two cents in on the plan and they have something ready. He said that he's not announcing what song they're going to perform though. It's apparently not the Neil Young song he played earlier in the morning. He said he wants to keep it a surprise. Howard said they haven't rehearsed anything yet and Corey Feldman is coming in on Tuesday. Howard said they'll practice on Monday. Howard said he was going to do it today but no one would load the instruments into the studio.
Artie suggested that they have some of the hot interns dance during their performance. KC came in and said that none of the interns will get into go-go outfits if they dance.
Howard wanted to get a real drummer but that would mean that Scott the Engineer would be out and the band, The Losers, was named after him.
The Losers Rehearse For Battle Of The Bands. 6/24/02. 8:25am
Howard was still trying to work out The Losers rehearsal during the Fred's Baby segment replay. Robin said it was horrible. She said there was one good part in the song but Howard said they were going to take that part out. Howard said Artie isn't going to be in the band because he just yells during the song.
Howard read a review about Corey Feldman's music to Robin. The writer said that the music is weak to the point of being insulting to the audience. He complained about the band and Corey's on-stage moves. He also claims that half the audience walked out during the show.
Howard finally got around to the rehearsal. Howard had a special effect on his voice that made him sound like he was on the phone. He said this was their first rehearsal so it will be better tomorrow when they play. It sounded horrible to say the least. Howard said he couldn't hear the music when he was singing and the special effect they had on their voices was just awful. They were apparently performing a version of ''Spirit in the Sky'' but it was just about unrecognizable. They've changed it to be more current but that voice thing just made it unbearable.
Howard finished the song and said one of the problems was that he couldn't hear anyone but John's bass playing in his headphones. He tried to find out what the problem was asking Scott the Engineer but he was no help. Howard said that they're not going to lose to Corey. He seems to think that they're going to be ready by tomorrow. He said he'll probably have to spend 7 hours working on the mix himself.
Howard took a couple of phone calls from people who actually liked the idea of what they were doing with the song even though it didn't come out that great over the air. Of course there were some people who said that it was horrible. Howard said that it only sounds bad now because he has to work on the mix since his engineers can't seem to get it right. Howard continued to say that there's no way they're going to lose this thing tomorrow.
After taking another break Howard was still upset about the mix. He said that one of the interns came in during the break and told Howard what one of the problems was with an amplifier. Howard said it's so obvious what needs to be done and it's not being done. The intern said that they have their amps turned up too loud in the studio and it's echoing back on the air. Howard said the intern told them to just turn down the amps and turn it up through the air feed. Howard goofed on Scott for a short time but eventually moved on to his guest Suzanne Westonhoffler.
Between the segments we heard Artie talking about this Losers performance as being one of his favorites. He liked some of the effects that Howard used on his voice during that performance.
The Losers Rehearse ''Spirit In The Sky.'' 6/25/02. 6:05am
Howard said the guys stayed really late (3pm to 7pm) to rehearse their version of Norman Greenbaum's ''Spirit in the Sky'' for today's Battle of the Bands. Scott the Engineer and Artie are out. Howard said they taped their session so he could play it for Robin. He played the tape and it sounded much better than it did yesterday when they couldn't get the mix right. Scott the Engineer was replaced by Frank, a guy who plays in Fred's band. He sounded very professional... very unlike what you'd expect from The Losers. Robin seemed amazed at the improvement and wondered if they could do it again live. Howard said they spent a total of 7 hours on rehearsal. Robin said she doesn't believe that it was actually them.
Howard said the guys stayed until around 11am but they had to leave for a couple of hours. They all came back around 3:15 and spent a few more hours working on it.
Howard had Corey Feldman's music to play too. He played one song that was pretty bad. Howard said they really have to beat this guy and his band. They can't figure out what his influences are for his music.
Fred played some of the other The Losers songs that they've performed. Howard forgot all about their version of ''Court of the Crimson King'' which they beat Tina Yothers band with. Then there was ''Bang a Gong'' which also won them a Battle of the Bands. Howard said his favorite was ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' so Fred played that one too.
Stuttering John said that Howard has some moves down for this performance. Howard said he's dedicating the song to Joey Ramone because some of the moves he is borrowing from him.
Howard said that Corey always comes in dressed like a bad Michael Jackson impersonator so he's going to go with the ''grunge'' look. Stuttering John said that a Polo shirt isn't exactly ''Grunge'' though. Howard said it's just the fact that he's dressed like he doesn't care that counts.
Howard took a break and wanted to do one dress rehearsal before they actually take on Corey's band. Howard ripped a couple of wet farts before they played which apparently stunk up the studio.
Howard and the rest of The Losers did their thing and it actually did sound about the same as the tape Howard played a little earlier in the morning. Robin told Howard it should have been dedicated to Tiny Tim for some reason. She said that Stuttering John was making a face that looked pretty strange.
Gary told Howard that Scott the Engineer was very angry that he's been tossed out of the band. Howard said that Scott left to go bowling so they had to have someone to practice with and that's when they got Fred's guy Frank Fallon. Now he knows the song and he's in the band. Howard called Scott a ''baby'' but Scott says that he's not the baby. He said that he practiced over the weekend for a few hours so he deserves to be in the band. He said he didn't ask for any money to practice but Howard ended up offering him $20 for his time. Scott wouldn't take it so they offered to let him dance with the go-go girls. Scott said he'd sit this one out. Howard told him he's still in the band. Frank is just a guest member.
KC came in and said that Corey called while Howard was singing to say that he was 10 minutes away. When he called he was laughing at Howard's song. Howard wondered if Corey knows what that will mean if The Losers beat his band. It will show just how bad Corey's band is if they actually beat them.
Battle Of The Bands. 6/25/02. 7:55am
Corey Feldman came in to do the Battle of the Bands against Howard and The Losers this morning. Corey wasn't too happy with the way things were set up though. He said there wasn't going to be a competition today. He had a couple of reasons including the fact that the judges were guests on the show so they'd never go against Howard. Howard explained to Corey that Gary called the judges and told them that they were to judge them as if they were unknowns who were just performing for them for the first time. Howard introduced the judges which included Brian Koppleman, Matt Pinfield and Jerry Blair. All three of them have record industry backgrounds and know music. Howard proved to Corey that they were worthy of judging them. He spoke to each one of them for a short time and then convinced Corey to perform. Corey said that he didn't have the chance to do a sound check so that was another reason he didn't want to perform. Howard said he'd get that sound check though.
A few Scores girls showed up to promote some web site (GotchaGirls.com) this morning so Howard had then dance during his performance. The Losers did their thing and it sounded as good as it did earlier in the morning. Howard told Corey that he knows they suck but he still thinks they're better than his band. Howard didn't get the judges opinion until after Corey's performance. Howard had to take a break first so Corey and his band could set up and do their sound check.
After the break Corey's 8 member band was ready to perform. Corey's fiancee Susie was also there for him. Howard said that he hopes that Corey will retire from performing if he loses to The Losers. Corey said that will never happen. He said even if he never releases another album he'd still continue to write music. They went ahead and performed the title track to their forthcoming album ''Former Child Actor.'' The album comes out August 6th. The band did their thing and when they were done the judges were ready to give their final judgement. Howard first had to ask if they were awake. He didn't pick up any phone calls because he didn't want to spoil the judges thoughts.
First up was Jerry Blair. Jerry asked if they could replace the lead vocalists in the bands. He was joking. He said he liked Corey's song, except for the lyrics. He went with The Losers. Up next was Matt Pinfield who said that both bands sucked but if he had to pick one of them, he'd have to go with The Losers. He said Howard and The Losers have the right vibe on stage. Matt said that Corey's band was tight but the lyrics weren't that great. He told Corey that he needs more focus in the lyrics. Finally, Brian said that he was sorry to Corey. He also had to go with The Losers. He said that usually a band would get extra credit for doing an original song but not when it's that bad.
Corey and his girlfriend weren't surprised that they lost to Howard on The Howard Stern Show. They knew it was going to happen even though Howard says that the judges are just being honest. Corey and Susie talked about how many people come to see them when they perform at clubs around the country.
Howard said that he hopes that Corey will give up on his singing career. Corey said that's just not going to happen. Howard congratulated himself for a few minutes before wrapping up the segment. He wished Corey luck with his film career and his music career.
Robin asked Corey why he's mad at Michael Jackson but he wasn't talking about it. Howard said Corey spoke to him during the commercial break about that but he's not divulging what they talked about.
Howard gave all of the guys plugs for their various stuff. Brian has a new movie coming out called ''Knock Around Guys'' coming out soon. Matt hosts The Buzz on K-Rock in New York, Sunday nights at 10pm. Jerry has a web site at LatinAlternative.com for the bands he promotes. You can also find out more about Corey Feldman and where he'll be appearing by visiting his web site CoreyFeldman.com. The GotchaGirls.com girls described the site as being like ''hot chicks doing 'Jackass' like stunts.''
Post Battle Discussions. 6/25/02. 8:50am
Howard said they barely squeaked that one out against Corey's band. Gary said Jerry Blair really didn't know which way to go on this thing. They all thought both bands sucked though.
Something happened in the middle of the song and it threw everyone off. Howard thought Fred played one of his things too long but Fred said that's not true. They weren't quite sure what it was.
Howard asked Robin what she thought of Howard's moves in this performance. She didn't think it was all that great.
Gary said he thinks that The Losers are starting to take themselves too seriously now. Howard said they're really not though. The E! guys replayed some of the video from the performance and Howard said they're going to have to reedit it. He said the dead on shots of him are horrible.
The Losers Prepare For Battle. 3/26/03. 6:05am
Howard said The Losers will fight 'til the end when they have their Battle of the Bands later this morning. He talked about how they started the band a few years ago to prove that these celebrities who start bands aren't as good as they think they are. They're taking on Chris Jericho's band Fozzy today. He played a voice mail message that Jericho left him where he goofed on him and said he didn't think he'd be able to do the battle today. Then he starts laughing and tells Howard he's not going to get off that easy. He thinks that he's going to blow Howard's band out of the water. Jericho hams it up and says that they are huge rock stars. Howard said he might be hamming it up but he really thinks he is a rock star.
Howard said he hasn't been rehearsing on the air lately because they were having trouble putting together a song. He said they've got it down now so they will do a dress rehearsal after a break. Artie asked if they could order some food so he can kill some time eating while they rehearse. Howard said that he can just sit there and listen. He said he hasn't been able to work Artie into the song.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who asked Howard how he's going to fix the contest. Howard said he hasn't fixed one yet. The guy said he was just giving Howard a hard time.
King of all Blacks called in on a cordless phone and said he had a game to play. Howard didn't like the sound of the phone so he wanted him to get on a different one. He had Howard pick a number, multiply it by 2, add 5, multiply by 50... and a bunch of other crap which eventually led to an age. Howard and Artie ended up goofing on him for even bringing that up. Howard got off the phone a few seconds later and took another call.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he bought the Fozzy album ''Happenstance'' and actually went to Jericho and asked for his money back. Howard played a quick clip of one of their songs. He goofed on it a little bit before getting off the phone with him a short time after that. Howard took another call from a guy who also said he didn't like Fozzy. He said they were terrible. Howard said his own band is terrible too but they're better than Fozzy.
Another caller mentioned that Howard's friend Marco Battaglia is now on the Miami Dolphins. Howard knew that and said he's going to go to a game down in Miami sometime. Howard took a break a short time later.
After the break Howard wanted to rehearse their song but they weren't set up yet. Their backup singers were there and Fred's amps were humming. Howard introduced his backup singers Lynn Portis and Ryan Berkowitz. He also said that Stuttering John was playing bass, Scott the Engineer was on drums and Fred was playing guitar. Howard gave a shout out to Randy Cantor who helped them out a little bit with the song.
Howard walked over to the band and everyone started to play. There was no guitar or bass coming through the radio though. It was Howard's voice way off in the distance and Scott's drums full volume. Gary came in a short time later and told Howard that they could only hear them through Artie's microphone. Howard said that's why they have a dress rehearsal because nothing ever works right. Howard said they might have to take a commercial break. Robin and Howard were talking to each other and it sounded like they were in an echo chamber. Scott told Howard they were all set but they weren't. Gary and Howard were trying to talk to each other but their microphone volumes were so low you could barely hear them. Howard said this is the last song they ever do as The Losers. He said he's going to kill himself after this. He said he's having a meltdown.
Once they fixed things they started over again. They had some background music playing that they played along to. They did a remake of Neil Young's ''Old Man'' which wasn't all that bad. It was finally coming through the radio too. Robin told them it was perfect when they were done. Artie gave a half hearted ''Yeah.'' after Robin said that. Robin said it sounded as good as it did yesterday. Howard took a call from Double A who said it still sounded muffled to him. Howard said there is an effect on his voice though so that might be the muffled part. He went on to take a couple more phone calls and people told him it sounded pretty good. Howard had tape of what they did yesterday after the show in rehearsal. He played that and it sounded pretty close to what they did on the air today. Howard took some more phone calls after that. Artie said he can't wait to hear the fist live part where no one could hear them. One woman said the good live version didn't sound as good as the taped version he had. She said it sounds like they're in a bathroom or something. Gary came in and said he thinks some people are still confusing the first try with the second, good try. Even Dominic Barbara called in and said the good version wasn't that crisp like the taped version was. Howard said he hopes they lose this time because it makes him crazy when he tries to do this stuff.
Robin thought that they never had trouble getting stuff on air before but Gary said they have. Gary said that Scott is the only one who knows why this doesn't work but he was no where to be found. Howard said he won't know until after they're done. Scott came in a short time later and said they didn't change anything. Scott said that the microphone that was left open was the first problem. He doesn't know why the second song didn't sound that great. Howard said he had to take another break after that. He said his therapist tells him he has to put his trust in other people but he has a hard time doing that with Scott. Howard took another call and the guy told him he thought they sounded good. Howard said all he's worried about is what the judges hear in the studio. Howard played the taped version of the song again and said that's the way it's supposed to sound. Gary asked Howard if his therapist has him doing some kind of exercise because he seems to be handling the pressure pretty well. Howard said he colors in a coloring book on the floor of his therapists office. Stuttering John asked a couple of questions and Howard ended up going off on him for some reason. He was saying something about John not being in rehearsal after the show yesterday and how they were able to get things done quicker without him there.
Robin noticed that Howard was dressed appropriately but Scott the Engineer was wearing his best t-shirt and jeans. Scott said he sits in the back so no one sees him back there anyway. Howard said he sticks out like a sore thumb back there. Howard thought John was dressed okay too. Gary said he thinks Chris Jericho will come in all dressed up with spikes and crap like that. John seems to think that will make them look better because they're more laid back. Howard went to break after that short discussion.
The Losers Vs. Fozzy In A Battle Of The Bands. 3/26/03. 8:05am
Recently Howard offered to take on wrestler Chris Jericho's band Fozzy in a battle of the bands. Howard's band The Losers was created to prove that celebrity bands suck. He has competed against a few other celebrity bands and has won against them all. They are judged by people in the music industry.
Howard returned from break playing the most recent voice mail that Jericho left for him. He then had them bring Chris in. Howard said he shook his hand when he came in. He also said he was sucking up to the judges when he came in. Jericho says that they go out touring and have quite a few fans that come to see them.
Howard said there are a lot of celebrities who think they are rock stars and The Losers actually beat them. Chris told Howard they put the band together just to have fun out there.
Howard introduced the judges in today's battle. He first introduced Ben Goldman from A&R records. He's the Senior VP of the company. He then introduced Matt Pollock who works at V2 Records. He's been in the business for 16 years. Howard then introduced Tom Calderon who works for MTV and MTV2 and has been in the business for about 15 years. They all had plugs for projects they're working on for their respective companies.
Howard talked to Chris for a short time and plugged his album ''Happenstance'' which is out now.
Howard said they were going to play first because he gets kind of tense when he has to perform. Howard went over to the microphone and had the guys set up. Howard dedicated the performance to the boys fighting overseas. The Losers then performed their version of Neil Young's ''Old Man.'' It sounded as good as their rehearsal did earlier in the morning. Howard's microphone was still very low though so when he told Jericho to go ahead and try to beat that, you could barely hear them.
Jericho asked Howard if he had fun doing that. Howard said he did have some fun up there. He told the judges to hold off on their reviews until after Fozzy performed. Jericho joked that he was going to leave right then with the blonde backup singer. Howard gave Chris some plugs for the WWE special he's in on Sunday night on pay-per-view. He also gave the judges a couple of plugs and then took a break before getting to the Fozzy performance.
After the break Howard took a phone call from a guy who said he got goose bumps after hearing The Losers play. Howard took a few more phone calls from people who thought The Losers were great. Howard wondered where the name Fozzy came from so Chris explained that they used to be a cover band called Fozzy Osbourne and they ended up shortening it.
Howard gave the microphone over to Chris after the phone calls and had them perform. Chris also dedicated their song ''To Kill a Stranger'' to the troops over in Iraq. The music was actually pretty good.
After Fozzy's performance Howard and the rest of the studio applauded them. Howard then asked them if they were done with rehearsal and wanted to do it for real. He told them he was just kidding. He also told them that they were better than Corey Feldman's band already. They seemed to be happy with that comment.
Howard took a bunch of phone calls. The audience seemed to be split on how good Fozzy was. There were some positive comments thrown in there though.
Howard moved on to Ben Goldman to get his review of the two bands. Ben went ahead and said that it was difficult to judge because the songs were completely different. He said that if he was going to sign a band it would be the from man he'd be looking at and he'd have to go with The Losers. Up next was Matt Pollack. He said he didn't have good news for Howard. He said that he wasn't feelin' it with them. He said he likes Neil Young and all but not through Howard. He said he didn't have good news for Chris Jericho either. He said that he gained points because he was huge and could pummel him. He said he wasn't a big fan of the music but their performance pushed it over the edge for him but just a little bit. Howard said he was surprised at that review.
The final Judge, Tom Calderon, gave his review and said he had to agree with the other two judges. He said he found Jericho to be very theatrical but that's not where we are musically in the world at this time so The Losers were his choice. Howard sounded thrilled that he pulled it out again. He said Fozzy sounded great and they may have been one of the best bands to take them on. Chris was taking it hard according to what Howard could see. He said he turned red. Chris said he was trying to be cool and smile but it was tough.
Howard announced that this was The Losers final performance. He said it was such a hassle to do the song that he's decided to call it quits. Howard said he just can't take the pain in the ass that he had to go through to get the song right.
Jeff the Drunk called in and told Howard he did a great job. He also said some nice stuff to Artie before getting off the phone. Another caller told Howard he has to put out an album but Howard told him that's what they're trying to stop. They don't want anymore celebrity albums coming out. Howard wrapped up the segment and gave plugs for everyone who was there.
Today's special was over by about 11:45am.
In the segment Howard spent some time talking to Sting and his wife about the show and stuff like that. Howard talked to them about their charity, the guy with the plate in his lips that they brought out with them to these charity things, their love of the show, The Police break up, Sting's good looks, the Rain Forrest and a bunch of other stuff.
Howard asked Sting about how he came up with some of the songs he's written as well. Sting eventually performed some songs for them. Sting performed ''Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.'' Howard also played a clip of Elton John performing a song about him.
Howard asked the guys about the chicks they were nailing and things like that. They weren't giving details. They talked about working with Barbra Streissand. Howard asked the guys about cheating on their wives and found out that one of the guys had a wife who would bring other women into bed. Howard and Robin (Gibb) spent quite a bit of time talking about that subject.
Howard asked the guys if they would play a medley of songs if he threw out the names of what he wanted to hear. They sounded like they were okay with that. They went into ''To Love Somebody'' for a minute. Then Howard threw out some songs like ''I've Got To Get a Message To You,'' ''Lonely Days,'' ''How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,'' ''Nights on Broadway,'' and ''Blue Island.'' He wrapped up with them a short time later.
James Taylor Comes In. 5/22/97. 7:35am
Singer James Taylor came in and sang a few songs for Howard today. He spent most of his segment singing 3 songs. Howard did interview him a little bit about his past heroin addiction and being married to Carley Simon. James performed the following songs: 'Woodstock', 'Fire and Rain' and 'Sweet Baby James'. He sounded great even though his music is not my kind of music. He's got a new album entitled 'Hour Glass'. Howard played a track off of the CD but it kind of sucked. Later in the show Howard found out that Gary's cousin, Jill Dell'Abate, did some of the back up singing on James' new album. She's actually got some talent and Howard said she's pretty good looking, especially compared to Gary...
Aerosmith's Steven Tyler And Joe Perry Come In. 9/22/97. 8:45am
Steven and Joe came in to plug a new book called ''Walk This Way'' that has a bunch of amazing stories about Steven's life in it. Howard asked Steven about a bunch of them so here's a quick summary of the bizarre things Steven was involved with:
Stevie Wonder Performs Live. 10/20/05. 7:00am
Howard came back from break and said that Stevie Wonder was running a little late but he'd be there soon. He asked Artie if he'll be drinking on Saturday night at Ronnie's Scores party. Artie said that he will be drinking and having a good time with the guys. Howard took a call from a woman who said she doesn't know how she's going to get anything done today because she's got Wendy the Retard on Howard 100 today. Howard tuned in and heard her just breathing on the air over there. Wendy asked to watch Barney at one point and then started doing some Karaoke. Wendy has someone in the room with her showing her how to use the equipment. The woman on the phone said Wendy was playing drums and stuff like that. Howard wanted to do more of the Jackie interview stuff but he didn't want to interrupt Stevie Wonder. Gary came through on his intercom and asked Howard if he wanted to finish up the Jackie interview even though they'd just talked about doing that. Howard said that Gary is on a delay so he doesn't hear everything they say.
A phone caller told Howard that Wendy the Retard was being coached in the studio so maybe they should stop that. Howard said he might have to ask them to stop the coaching. Stevie Wonder showed up a short time later and came right in the studio. Howard was about to go to break but had to stay there to applaud Stevie with the rest of the guys. He told Stevie they were giving him a standing ovation but he didn't have to stand up since Stevie couldn't see them. Stevie told Howard that he looks better with age... He also told Howard that he listens to the show sometimes but it wasn't clear if he was yanking him around or not. Howard was all over the place with Stevie until he settled down and concentrated on one subject. He asked Stevie when he started getting laid and how he got his first record contract. Stevie told Howard a story about how he would hear music playing out on the street but he wasn't allowed to cross the street. He paid a friend of his to help him across the street and hooked up with a guy who was playing two blocks away. That person let him play with them and hooked him up with a record company. Stevie said that his mother almost blew his record contract for him back then. He said he loves her very much though and things are good with them.
Howard asked Stevie about his vision loss and how that came about because of too much oxygen when he was born pre-mature. Stevie said he can remember seeing some things when he was younger and now they're working on getting him some implants that will help him to see some images. He said they did some testing and got some good results. The tests are kind of inconclusive at this point and he's not sure that the chip is the right thing for him.
Howard got back to the discussion about when he got laid but Stevie wasn't going to tell him his business. Howard told Stevie that he got laid when he was 16 and Stevie said that sounds a little late. Stevie got his first record contract at 13 so Howard figures that's when he first got laid. Stevie said that it could have happened then but maybe it didn't. They talked about Stevie's first wife Syreeta who just passed away a couple of years ago. Howard wasn't aware of that and left the story alone after Stevie told him about her breast cancer.
Howard asked Stevie who helps him out and walks him out on stage. Stevie said that it's actually his brother who helps him out. Howard figured that's the only person that you can trust to do something like that. He asked the brother if Stevie ever asks where the hot women are at. Stevie said that doesn't happen. He said that he's married now and plans on being married forever. He's got 7 kids now and 2 with his new wife of four years. Howard wondered how old his oldest kid is. Stevie said he has a daughter who's 30 years old and rattled off the names of all of his kids for Howard. He was still refusing to talk about the chicks he's banged over the years. He also said that he never had to ask his brother to pick out the hot chicks either.
Stevie was asking for some food but Howard let him know that he was at a radio station, they don't have any food for guests. He went on to ask Stevie about his celebrity friends like Prince who has been over to his place to listen to his new CD. That led to Robin and Howard asking Stevie what kind of music he likes these days. Stevie told them that he doesn't know of anyone who is a genius. Gary came in a minute later to take Stevie's breakfast order since they didn't have any food there for him. Stevie said he'd have an egg white omelet with no cheese and a pineapple cranberry mix drink. His brother took the same thing but with cheese.
Howard asked Stevie to go over to the piano they had in the room so he could play some songs for them. Howard gave him a plug for his new album ''A Time To Love.'' They were having some trouble with the keyboard they had in there so they had to mess around with it for a short time. Stevie was changing all of the instrument sounds on the board and couldn't find the piano setting. Scott the Engineer wasn't able to get it done either so they brought in Stevie's personal keyboard. Howard took some phone calls and let some people say a few words to Stevie. Vinnie Favale called in and told Howard about a song that Stevie wrote about his wife cheating on him. Stevie sang a little bit of that song without the piano. He eventually got the piano working but it didn't sound right to him because of the way it was hooked up. Once he got going he got into it and sang some of the songs that Howard wanted to hear. Stevie's voice was breaking up a little bit so he had to warm up a little bit. Robin requested a little ''Superwoman'' so Stevie sang the song using her name in the song.
Howard asked Stevie about being friends with Michael Jackson. Stevie would only say that he's his friend and wouldn't answer Howard when he asked if he would let his own kids sleep over at his house. Stevie would only say ''I'm Michael Jackson's friend.'' After talking to Howard a little bit he would play another little bit of one of his songs. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and ruined one song because she couldn't hear him playing when Howard put her on the air. She said she was honored and wanted to hear a little bit of ''Isn't She Lovely'' so Stevie performed a little bit of that for her. He talked about the song and how it was never released as a single, it was only on an album. He told Howard how he wrote the song and how that all came about. He even reenacted how he came up with the lyrics. Howard told Stevie that he took piano lessons as a kid but his piano teacher killed himself... and he wasn't kidding about that. Stevie never took lessons. He played a little bit of a song that he was creating, as he was going along, just for Howard.
Howard asked Stevie how long after meeting a woman it would be before he'd play a personal performance for her. Stevie said he would do that when he was younger he would actually do that. Captain Janks called in and asked Stevie to play a little bit of ''Sir Duke'' for him... and asked him if he ever ''saw'' Howard's movie ''Private Parts.'' Stevie played along and said he saw it. He then went on to play a little bit of ''Sir Duke'' for Janks. Howard asked Stevie if he and Bill Cosby are still friends. Stevie said that he still talks once in a while but not all that much. Howard gave him another plug for his album and took some more requests over the phone. One guy asked to actually sing along to ''My Cherie Amore'' over the phone. Stevie started to laugh when the guy called him ''brother'' as he was singing. Howard ended up singing instead of Stevie but he had Stevie take over since he couldn't remember the lyrics. Howard took over once again and sang the song about Scores and how much he loves that place.
Howard asked Stevie some questions about what he'll be leaving his kids in his will. Stevie said that his kids won't get any money, they'll have to work for their money. Howard asked Stevie to play his favorite song off of his new CD but Stevie was starving and wasn't getting paid so he was being kind of reluctant to play. Howard asked him what song he thought was going to be a big hit but ended up not being as big as he thought. Stevie said that was probably ''What the Fuss.'' Howard also asked him to play a little bit of ''Pastime Paradise'' which he did for a few seconds. Stevie couldn't remember all of the lyrics though. Gary came in and made one more request before Howard played something off of his CD. He played some of ''What the Fuss'' which Stevie said features Prince and En Vogue.
Artie told Stevie that his girlfriend is envious of him because she's got to look at him every night. Howard was going to wrap up but Stevie wanted to get someone on the phone to talk to Howard but he had to go through a whole thing to get the person on the line. Gary said that Stevie was using this brail Blackberry-like device to find the number. Gary told Howard this might be worth it and helped to get the person on the phone. Stevie said that the person was surprised that Howard would have him on the show and not have him. The person was on the line but Gary wasn't as excited as he thought he was going to be. The person on the phone was ''Bruce'' but not the Bruce that Gary thought it was going to be. He thought it was going to be Springsteen but it was some guy doing a gay voice and goofing on them.
Howard wrapped up with Stevie even though he said he could interview him for 5 hours. He asked him to come back tomorrow but Stevie said that he's going to be busy. Howard and Robin told him how great he is and what an influence on the music industry he's been. Howard gave him some more plugs for his album ''A Time To Love.'' Stevie said that he'd like to do this again with them and even offered to do a concert if they found a good charity to give to. Howard thanked him again and had Stevie play them into commercial.
Today's special was over around 11:05am.