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Howard started off the show talking about how he went to see Mary McCormack's show ''Boeing-Boeing'' last night and now she may be mad at him. He said that they had a big red carpet opening for the show and they didn't know that it was going to be like that. He said that he went out and didn't have his whole look together for the red carpet.
Howard said he saw Merryl Streep and Glen Close there at the event. Howard said that Merryl was a couple of rows in front of him and Glen was nearby. He also saw Misha Barton there. He said he didn't really talk to any of them but he did see Larry Storch from F-Troop that he stopped and said hello to. He said that he got to speak with him. Howard said that he was a big fan from F-Troop and when he recognized the guy he seemed to light up.
Howard said he told Larry that he saw him doing recordings at his father's recording studio when he was doing Tennessee Tuxedo stuff. He said that Larry is an old guy now and he didn't stick around too long. He said that he just told Larry he loves him and that he was his hero.
Howard said he saw some other heavy hitters there like Gina Gershon and a few other people like that there. Howard said he was asked by reporters why he was there last night and he said he told them that he hates plays like that but he came out for Mary.
Howard said that the show was going really late and he had to get out of there early to go to bed since it was last night. He said he had to leave at the intermission because the show was running so long. He said that was around 8:30 and the guys told him that it was going to run until at least 10.
Howard said he called Mary and told her how great she was but she was upset that he had left in the middle of the show. He said he really had to go and he knows that it's going to be considered some kind of faux pas.
Howard said that the show was funny and he is talking about it on the air so he's hoping she doesn't get too upset with him.
Howard said that Cindy Adams got him for an interview last night and he thinks that she's looking really good for her age. He said that she was asking him about politics so he told her about what he thinks about Hillary Clinton and all of that. He said that she was trying to give him a phone number for who to call to get her as a guest.
Gary told Howard that Cindy Adams is 83 years old. Howard said that's hard to believe. He said that she looks much younger than that.
Howard said that he had some clips of this girl Roxy Jezel who was the porn star who was going to be playing the game today. He played one where she was talking to a guy about sucking his cock and then sounding like a duck as the guy was face f'ing her. Howard said he's never heard a girl do something like that. She sounded like a duck. Howard said he wouldn't walk out at intermission if he saw something like that going on.
Howard played another clip where she was telling the guy to give it to her in the ass. She had a British accent but that was going away the more the guy was banging her. Howard said that the guy seemed to be fucking the accent right out of her.
Howard played a new song parody about Robin that someone had sent in. The song was ''Robin's Vagina.'' He also played a new Baba Booey song parody called ''Gimme Boo.''
Howard played a voice mail from a guy who said that Robin was showing her beaver on the Donny Deutsch show when she was on recently. Howard said that her dress must have had an opening or something. Robin said she was wearing panties on that show so she's not sure what the guy is talking about.
Howard played a voice mail from Wendy the Retard where she asks for some money for her birthday which is coming up soon. Wendy said that she'd like some money or video games for her birthday. Howard said that she must be severely retarded because she talks about going on another radio show called the Frank and Tracy show. He said that she should ask them for money if she's going on their show. He said that he's not going to give her anything if she's going on another show.
Howard said that he got a picture from Ross Zaipen who was there. He said he was surprised to see Robin with the guy. Artie talked about how he remembered John was the guy who was in the way of Howard's avalanche where he had to be number one in every market. John ended up getting crushed by Howard in the ratings.
Howard said that John got in the way of his express train of his show that was trying to crush every show out there. He said that there's got to be bad blood there but Robin said that he was very cordial when they met. Robin said that John once interviewed her about her book when it was out and he told her that before they came to Philly he could have sold her some books but at the time things had changed.
Howard said that he remembers seeing John being interviewed about him coming to town and John wasn't worried at all. Howard said that he said that he was ''that good'' that he didn't have to worry. Howard said that made him nuts and gave him the drive to crush him in the ratings.
Robin said that it was devastating and awful what Howard did to that man. Howard said he knows that he's an asshole for doing what he did. Robin said he was a good target but they really did crush him. Howard said that he had to be number 1 in Philly to get on in Los Angeles so that's why he had to do what he did.
Gary came in with the audio from the interview that Howard was just talking about. They kept that clip from so many years ago. Howard played the clip and Debella is talking about Howard's nose and goofing on him about that. Howard said that he feels bad for the guy now but he did goof on him a little bit. Howard said he's better looking than Debella and he'd be willing to have a beauty contest any day.
In the audio clip Debella is talking about the things that Howard does for his show being just for the press and not for the audience. Howard said that he likes Philly and talked about some of the restaurants that they have out there.
Richard said that they have some great appetizers there and talked about some Jack Daniels things that they might have had. Howard said that there are a ton of great restaurants in the city and that's the last place you'd want to go.
Richard said that it was about 60 bucks for them to go to that place. Howard said that Richard could go to some other Italian restaurant or something instead of going to an Applebee's. Artie said that some of them are expensive though.
Richard talked about sneaking alcohol into the Harold and Kumar movie. He said that he does that all the time. Howard asked him what happened to him not drinking every day. Richard said that plan didn't quite work out so well.
Gary heard that Richard smuggled in a bottle of champagne and some vodka. Richard said he was done with that within an hour or so. He said that the movie was a comedy and a party movie so he had to drink. He said he doesn't do that in a drama though.
Gary said Richard came in and told him about his weekend this morning. He said that he heard about him going to see Coheed and Cambria over the weekend. He wasn't able to leave while they were performing because he likes their music so much. He had to pee from drinking so much so he just stood and peed his pants. He was even with his girlfriend at the time. Richard said that kind of freaked his girlfriend out a little bit.
Richard had to get a drive home because the busses stopped running so some fans said they'd drive them to the train station. Richard had to tell the guy what he had done in his pants so they found something for him to sit on so he didn't get pee on their seat. Richard said he just stood there and peed in his pants.
Richard said that he has done things like that before. He didn't want to get arrested for whipping out his penis so he just let it go in his pants. Artie asked him if he does that to impress the fans or something. Richard said he doesn't.
Richard told some stories about doing stuff like that before. He told a story about another guy he knows who wears shorts so he can pee without pulling down his pants. Richard said that once he starts going the pee just poured down his leg.
Artie said that only a retarded adult can do something like that because a normal person can't deal with that. Richard said that he did shower after that but he hasn't had his pants cleaned yet. Richard said that his girlfriend was really freaked out by the whole thing and she's not freaked out by anything. He said that she's really cool about stuff like that usually but this really freaked her out.
Howard played an old clip of Richard leaving a message for Will and peeing on the street as he was leaving the message. Howard said that Richard is gay after hearing the clip. He was telling Will that he wanted to see his peach colored hair and getting all creepy with the guy. Howard said that Richard's girlfriend will eventually have a normal boyfriend and nothing will freak her out after being with Richard.
Richard's whole head was shaved so Howard asked him what's up with that. Richard said that his balding was getting to him so he just shaved it all off. Howard told him he looks better with some hair than no hair.
Howard told Richard that they have some adult diapers there if he wants to pee his pants. Richard said he could do that but he's not sure what they'd get out of that. Howard said that Gary did that one time as a bit and he had a strange look on his face as he was doing it.
Richard was saying that he didn't think that his pee smelled when he wet his pants because it was all beer.
Irish John called in and said that Richard went to get them a bunch of drinks one night that hey were out and Richard took sips of every drink he had in his hand so he wouldn't spill any of them.
Howard cut John off because the guys came in with some diapers for Richard to wear. Howard had Fred play some Coheed and Cambria while he was getting his diaper on so he'd feel like he was at the concert. Richard asked for a couple of songs so Fred played what he had available in his computer system.
Richard put on his diaper and Howard said that he might be retarded like Artie was saying. Howard said that an adult has a lot of pee and it's not like a baby. Richard said he couldn't believe how much there was when he wet himself. He said that he had to move because there was a puddle there on the ground.
Howard and Artie were goofing on Richard and making fun of this peeing thing. Richard said that he could have crapped his pants and that really would have freaked out his girlfriend. Richard said that he was going while they were talking to him. Richard said he was trying not to shit but he was struggling with something. Howard said he had that look on his face like Gary had when he peed.
Richard said that he pissed right before the show started so he had to wait to go. He wasn't able to go since he had just peed a little while ago.
Howard said that someone wrote in about how gay things are getting on the show. Richard said that he and Sal haven't been doing anything lately.
Jason came in and said that he and his mom talked over the weekend and worked stuff out. He said that he saw her for an hour yesterday and she wasn't being critical of him at all. He said that she was making an effort so that's all he's going to say about it.
Jason told Howard that he's great for working things out for him the way he did. Howard said he heard that Jason got yelled at for a half hour after the segment last week. Jason said that did happen but things are okay now. He said he feels bad and things are fine now.
Artie said that Will heard something on the phone while Jason was getting yelled at. Howard wanted to know what that was so he asked Will to come in. He also talked about a picture that a fan had sent in of Jason as his mom that had been photoshopped. Howard said that he'd have that put up on his web site.
Howard showed Artie the picture of Jason as his mom and he started going nuts laughing. Will came in a short time later with a black eye. Howard asked him what was going on there. Will said he got popped in the face accidentally at a bachelor party over the weekend.
Will said that he heard Jason responding to his mom about how he had visited his dad while he was in the hospital. Jason said that was right after the segment so she was kind of upset with him. Howard asked Jason what else is wrong with him that she could pick him apart about. Jason said he had a whole list of stuff. He didn't seem to want to get into that stuff again though.
Howard said that Jason's mom was also talking about the school she went to and some of the fans wrote in about that. Jason said that he and his mother spoke and things are okay.
Richard came back in and tried to pee in his diaper. He was straining a little bit so the guys told him not to do that. They told him to just come back in and pee when he has to pee. Richard said he'd do that then.
Howard had some audio of a guy asking John McCain if it's true that he calls his wife a cunt. He played that clip where the guy yells it out and McCain says that they don't respect that kind of language at those type of events. Howard said that they respect that kind of language on this show but not at town hall meetings apparently.
Howard read through some of the article about the guy who asked the question. Then Gary read the quote from the book that the guy was referring to as his source for the cunt reference. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that story.
Howard said that there are people saying that this upcoming election is the most important in this country's history. He said that they say that about every election though and he doesn't get why this one would be any different. He and Artie talked about some past elections and who they voted for. Howard said he didn't remember who he was voting for back in the Reagan days.
Howard talked about how he wasn't doing so well when he was younger and he may have voted for Walter Mondale back in the day. Artie said that he must have been doing okay back then but Howard said he really didn't have a lot of money.
Howard said that might be the worst thing he's ever heard. He said it was like a funeral dirge. He and the guys spent a couple of minutes talking about Scarlett and the movies she's done. Howard said that he didn't remember her being in anything good. Robin said she was in The Island which is one that Howard liked.
Howard played another song called Asian Hooker. It was a real song by a rock band. The guys listened to that for a few seconds. Howard also played Wood Yee's ''Sushi Smells'' song parody that the guys had him record. Howard got a few laughs out of that. They had to go to break after that.
Howard noticed that Robin was eating so he asked what she was chewing on. She said it was just one nut. Fred, doing his Jim Florentine impression, said that she's good for at least two nuts.
Howard asked Robin if Jim went with her to Atlantic City this weekend. She said that he did. That led to Howard talking about getting an invitation to Chris Booker's surprise party down there. Howard said that he saw that he was supposed to stay in his room until the party was going to start so Chris wouldn't know that they were all down there. Robin said that's not the way things worked and they weren't making anyone stay in their rooms or anything like that. Robin said she had a great time down there at the Borgata.
Robin said that the restaurant they ate at, Sea Blue, was amazing. she said she was out with a bunch of people. They went to Booker's party and had some fun there and then went out and partied elsewhere. Howard asked if Booker has any other radio friends other than Debella. Robin said that she's friends with him and he's got a few other radio friends.
Howard said that he's friendly with Booker too but he didn't even call him about this party. Howard asked Artie if he's friendly with Booker. Artie said he is. Howard was asking about Booker's girlfriend's titties and if she was showing them off. He said that Booker's girl likes to show those things off like Robin likes to show her's off. Artie said that she's a hot chick. Howard asked if she's working again yet. Robin said she's not sure.
Howard went through a bunch of those pictures and pointed out some of the strange things they had on them. One person had the guys from CHiPs on them. Howard said that Double A could have been in that book with his tattoos of him on his arms. Howard said that Double A has a bunch of stuff from the show on him.
Howard said that Double A was on Superfan Roundtable the other night and people were writing in to tell him not to have him on again. He played some audio clips from that show where Double A was kind of drunk and having some trouble speaking. Double A was telling Mutt that he was almost a hottie himself after having some booze in him.
Howard and the guys were picking apart some of the stuff that Double A was saying. At one point he said that he has Artie's back and Artie has his back. Artie said that he's not so sure he has Double A's back.
Howard played another clip where a woman was saying that she can't stand listening to Superfan Roundtable when Double A is on. Double A said that he's all about love and he doesn't have anything against her so she shouldn't be hating on him. He told her that he had mad love for her and he'd love to get to know her. Howard said he kind of liked Double A drunk. Artie said he did too.
Lisa had said that the wedding went off without a hitch but Robin heard all of these stories from Shuli on Miserable Men last night. Lisa didn't know all of this stuff so they were talking about how Shuli isn't giving them all of the details.
Lisa said that they're going to have a story about Artie and Gary getting one room of their homes made over by the Man Cave guys. Artie said that he's going to go through it with the guys and they're going to make it all over for him. They're going to do the whole third floor for him. He said they're going to make it his game room and it sounds like quite a set up he's going to have.
Gary said that his wife is working with those guys and they're keeping it a secret from him. Gary said that he heard about one idea that they decided not to do. They wanted to put a brick oven in the basement but he didn't think that he'd be cooking too many brick oven pizzas in his basement. Gary said that his bar area is down there in the basement and he's going to have a locked liquor cabinet down there when he has all of that done.
Lisa ran through the rest of her news preview and then Howard got to the Mexican Delivery game.
Howard played some clips of Jezel's porn that he had just played a short time ago. They talked about the noises she was making in those clips and how she does that when Roxy's getting deep throated. Roxy explained how she didn't know about deep throating the first time she did it so someone had to explain it to her. She actually punched a guy when she had that done to her the first time.
Howard told Roxy how they were going to play this game. They were going to have Mexican delivery guys come in and they were going to offer them a big tip or the chance to see Roxy naked. They'd play with the guys and see what they'd be willing to go for, the money or Roxy's boobs.
The first guy came in so Howard asked him a few questions through a translator. Howard then told the guy they were going to make him an offer. Howard offered him a tip of $100 or he can see her completely naked. The translator told the guy what he could get and the guy picked the money. Howard told the guy to wait a second and then offered him the chance to let her sit on his lap naked. The guy stuck with the money.
Howard told Roxy to show off her body to the guy to try and get him to change his mind. She thought that he should get the money instead but Howard wanted her to take her top off for the guy. She took her top off and then Howard asked the guy again if he wanted to touch them. He said that he would so Howard offered to let him touch them or take the tip. The guy stuck with the money. Howard asked Roxy to take her pants off but she didn't want to do that. Howard said that she's not going to do well with this game.
Howard gave the delivery guy his $100. The translator said that the guy wanted to see her naked but he also wanted the money. Howard gave the guy his money and let him go.
Howard said that this was like playing a drinking game with a nun. Robin aids that Roxy was mouthing that she never agreed to do this. Howard said that he had to talk this over with Roxy then. He said that the last girl who was there, Gina Lynn, was able to get guys to pass on the tip to see her naked. Howard said he was going to offer the next guy $20 instead of 100. He said that he'd offer to let the guy touch her boobs but he'd have to pass on the money.
Howard said that Gina Lynn was able to get guys to turn down $100 just to be near her and this isn't coming off good today. Roxy said it just showed the guy wanted the tip. Howard said that if she was good she'd be able to get the guys to turn down the money. He said that she just has to be super seductive.
Howard gave Roxy a couple of plugs for her web site, RoxyJezelClub.com and for StripLV.com.
Howard spent some more time talking to Roxy and playing some more of her porn movie clips. He had one clip of her getting anal from a guy. Howard asked her if that was painful. She didn't remember that scene but she did remember the movie. She said she hated doing all of that stuff for the anal scenes and she's glad that she doesn't have to do it anymore.
Howard had the next delivery guy come in. That guy was able to speak English pretty well. Howard introduced him to Roxy and asked him what his best tip ever was. The guy said that it was probably be $80. Howard asked him what he was delivering today. It was just a sandwich. Howard asked him how big the tip would be. He said that it might be $2. Howard said he was going to give him $20 or he could offer him something else. He said that this beautiful woman was willing to get naked for him if he was willing to turn down the tip. He told him that she would rub her boobs in his face too. The guy picked Roxy. Then Howard upped the tip to $50 and asked him what he would take. The guy said that he was going to stick with the girl. He said he would stick with her even if the tip was $100. The guy said that his name was Luis Lopez but people call him Juan Carlo. Howard called him Johnny just to make it simple.
Howard told Johnny it was time to collect his prize so he told Roxy to pull down her top for him. She did that and said that she's a 32-C. Howard had her rub her boobs in his face and said that he would have picked the same thing if he were Johnny.
Johnny said that it was good and he liked what she was doing. Then Howard had Roxy pull down her pants so Johnny could spank her. He gave her a few whacks and Artie told him that he was going to be arrested for rape next. Howard said that Johnny didn't seem to be happy. Johnny said that he was just a little nervous with all of the people around him. He said that he did enjoy it though.
Howard told Johnny that he got to spank that ass and dreams do come true. He said that he was going to give him $100 as a tip for playing the game. Johnny thanked him for that. Howard thanked him for coming in and Johnny told Roxy how beautiful she was. Howard had Roxy let him touch her boob before he left. She let him do that and Howard wrapped up with him after that. Johnny said that he'd rather stay there than go back to work.
Howard told Roxy that she redeemed herself after that. He got in a plug for this Bowling Beauties show that's going to be on Howard TV starting May 12th. He said that you can find out more at CraveOnline.com/HowardTV.
Howard went through some more of Roxy's bio and talked about a bunch of crazy stuff she'd done. She said that she once stabbed a crackhead who was robbing her parents in their flower shop. She said that it's not seen as self defense when it's an actual weapon so the guy blackmailed her parents and they had to shut their shop down because of that. She said that's when she started to do the anal and got into the business. She said that she was able to buy them a house after that.
Howard said it sounds like she could make a movie out of her life and maybe Disney would like to make that movie. She said that she is working on a book about her life. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that stuff and about her drug use. She said that she was using crystal meth for a while but she's gotten off of that.
Howard thanked everyone for the game and then wrapped up with Roxy. She said that she has a contest going on where she wants people to get tattoos of her on them. She said that they want people to write in and tell them why they think they should get a tattoo of her on them. Howard said he didn't get the concept of the contest. He thanked her again and then went to break.
He said he read a review of the Sex and the City movie and it was very good. He said he liked the TV show. Howard said that he hopes that the movie is good because he did like the TV show so much. Artie said he hated the show because it was sickening to him. He said that he doesn't hate women but that show was just awful and so phony.
Howard said that he likes to look at Sarah Jessica Parker. Artie said he did too... 20 years ago. Howard said that he would be a guy who would go to see that movie. Artie said that he's put up with Howard watching a bunch of bad shows like Dawson's Creek.
Gary told Howard that Richard was about to come in to pee in his diaper. He said that he had to burst because he hadn't peed yet. Richard came right in and started to go in the diaper. Richard said he hopes it's super absorbent because he had to go so much.
Richard started to overflow so they kicked him out of the studio. Richard figured it wasn't the super absorbent kind. He said that he needed a bucket or something. Robin said that she's not sure why she continues to work there.
Howard asked Richard if he likes peeing in a diaper. Richard said he does but he'd have to get better ones to wear to a concert. They spent a short time talking about what Richard did at the Coheed and Cambria concert. The guys were getting kind of freaked out by the dripping pee so Artie told him to get the fuck out of there.
Howard had Richard put on another diaper to soak up the rest of the pee. Richard had to put on the diaper just so he could leave the studio. Howard asked Richard how he shaves his balls. Richard told him how he pulls on his balls and then uses an electric shaver.
Howard asked Artie if he wanted to throw something at Richard. Artie said he'd love to. Artie told Richard to get the fuck out of there. Howard told him to leave too so Richard finally left.
Howard said that Richard's poor girlfriend has to put up with that stuff. Artie said that he talked to Ralph about that off the air and Ralph thinks that he's really retarded.
Howard read some of the story about this stalker guy and how scary some of the stuff he wrote was. He said that the guy should be taken off the streets because he is so messed up.
Howard read a review of ''Boeing-Boeing'' where they got a 4 star review. He said he liked the first half of the play that he saw. He didn't stick around to see the whole thing. He talked about how uncomfortable he was there at the play. Robin aid that she'd go to see it with him if he wants to go see the rest of it. Artie said that will never happen. Robin suggested they go on Thursday night. Howard said that was okay with him.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him what he really thought of Iron Man because he mentioned something in the movie that he didn't like. Howard said that it was the fact that Iron Man has to fight another Iron Man. He said that they made it seem like the guy didn't have a learning curve and he was able to get used to his suit within minutes while Tony Stark took a while. Howard said that the movie was so good that you can look past that one minor thing.
The caller asked Howard what he thinks about the latest episodes of Smallville. Howard said that he still likes the show but Ralph was telling him that the show isn't that good. The caller said he still likes the show but there was one bad episode that he didn't like. Howard said that they really have to move on and get Superman to fly.
Howard said that the Howard TV guy had video of Richard peeing the diaper that was sped up so they could watch it. They checked that out and talked about how gross it was. Howard said it was kind of funny to watch the diaper fill up the way it did.
Howard said he could never stand there and pee in a diaper in front of people. Gary did that once but no one else was able to do it. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that whole thing.
Howard quickly mentioned that Greg Fitzsimmons is on tonight at 7pm on Howard 101 and he's going to have Bob Saget on as a guest.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the merger isn't going through because they don't want Howard Stern to be able to speak to 15 million people. Howard said he's not sure about that but it's possible.
Howard read an article in a tabloid magazine where they claim that Sonny Bono was murdered and then his murder was covered up with the skiing accident. He read through that article and they claim that it was a drug cartel that was targeting him for the murder. That led to the guys talking about the Kennedy kid who died while skiing and playing football. That got Howard doing his Kennedy impression for a short time.
Howard stayed in his Kennedy impression and talked about that wacky family for a while. He was talking about some of the strange things that the Kennedy family has been involved with.
Howard got back to the Sonny Bono story and read through more of that. He read a little bit more of that and then got back into the Kennedy impression and goofed on them a little more. Howard read some more of the Sonny Bono stuff and they claim that he was beaten to death and then dressed in the ski outfit and put next to a tree so it looked like that's how he died.
Howard had a story about Raymond Burr who allegedly had a history of fake wives and kids. He'd tell people he was having parties for 200 guests and then he'd eat the food all himself. Howard read through that article from the tabloids. They had some details about his sex life and personal life. They claim he was only 320 pounds so the guys compared him to Artie who is up near there at 300 pounds.
Charlie said that her band is playing the East Coast next week and she wanted to come in. Howard told her to bring in some sexy hot stories and not her band. She said she has stories.
Gary said that he's see some of her e-mails and messages from her and she does a lot of talking and no listening. Gary said that a lot of the stuff that happens to her isn't that interesting to them. Howard told her that she has to use her head an make things interesting for them. She said that she'll show up naked and drunk if they want her to. Artie gave her a ''Bingo!'' when she suggested the naked thing. He said that she's got a hot body and she should show it off.
Howard said he heard that JD hates her. JD came in a short time later and said that she wears that fake hair and it's just so annoying. He said that she's not hot either. Howard said that he'd bang her and if he says he wouldn't, he's got to be gay. He asked JD when he last got laid. JD said he didn't remember. Howard said that any guy who doesn't get laid often remembers the last time. He hasn't had any girls since he went to Las Vegas with Artie.
Gary heard that JD got blown off by Charlie and her friends and that's why he's so upset. Charlie said that's not true, she treated him great and was very nice to him.
Howard played a new techno song that JD is into. He was caught listening to this song by someone there. JD told him to keep playing it because it gets better. The guys didn't believe that.
Charlie said that song sucked so JD said that it's better than her music. Ralph called in and said that she's very annoying and not all that hot so he agrees with JD about that. Charlie said that he's back stabbing her because he was so nice to her at Lisa G's cookie party.
Howard got a picture of Charlie and said that she's really hot. Artie agreed and said that she's hotter than Miss White Howard stern. He said that she is kind of annoying though. Howard said that they should call her ''Lumpy'' now that they know about the lumps in her uterus.
Artie told Charlie to show up in a bikini there sometime and they'd have her in. She said she would do that when she comes back from her tour. She got in some plugs for a gig they have at the Knitting Factory this week. Howard wanted to play some of her music but she said they probably don't have it there since they don't take her calls. Gary said that she could mail it to them. She said she could do that but they won't take her calls. H
JD said that she's annoying and adds nothing to the show. Howard said he heard that he doesn't like her because he didn't like her Halloween costume. That was a reference to why he didn't like Tim Sabean's assistant Jared.
Fred played some of Charlie's music and Fred said that it sucked. Howard said that he couldn't hear the song because it was only coming through one channel. He said he had to hear the whole thing the right way to make a judgment.
JD said that she's such a phony and so annoying. Charlie said that she's not this character that JD thinks she is. JD said that she is and that's why she's so annoying.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Charlie was annoying and they have to find a new Miss Black Howard Stern. He said he'd rather hear JD's techno song than Charlie's music. Howard started playing it and Artie said it's no wonder JD's father abandoned him.
Howard sang along with the techno song and made up some gay lyrics for the song. Artie told him that it really is gay. JD asked if it was really more gay than Coheed and Cambria. Howard replayed the song and gave JD some more of the gay lyrics for the song. JD said that just because he was listening to the song in his office doesn't mean that it's his favorite song. He said Richard heard him listening to it and now he thinks it's his favorite.
Robin wanted Charlie to come in for a visit. JD was a no, Fred was a yes as long as they could do something to her or see her in a bikini or something like that. Howard said that they can't give a vote to Ralph because no one likes him. He said that Gary should get a vote. Gary said that he thinks that Charlie should come to them with a list of things that are interesting and they'll have to pick from that list. Howard played the latest Baba Booey song parody as Gary was giving his thoughts on that.
Gary said that it was 9:25 and they should give her an hour to come up with some stuff to do and then they'll figure out if she should come in. Artie said that he was a yes but he wanted her to come in dressed in a bikini. Gary said that she was dressed kind of strange the last time she was in.
Howard played one of Charlie's songs since he finally had it set up so he could hear it. He let it play through for a short time and Fred played a baby crying sound clip that sounded a bit like Charlie's voice. Artie said that he liked the song and so did Robin. Fred said that it was one of the most annoying singing voices that he'd ever heard.
Howard told Charlie that maybe next time they'll let her come in but this time she had too many no-votes. Charlie said that she'll come up with something for next time. She said that she might be willing to bang someone on the show. Artie said that he and Benjy would be up for that. She could pick between one of those two. Howard suggested JD bang her but JD said that he wouldn't do her. He told her that she's really annoying and she should stop calling. JD said that there are plenty of people out there who are a lot less phony than she is. Charlie said that she's really not phony. Howard said he had to let her go because he had to take a break.
JD went off on Charlie for a couple more minutes about being a phony person and acting the way she did when she was on the show last time. He said he doesn't like the way she promotes herself all the time and stuff like that. Howard said they're going to be running the Howard TV ''A Day in the Life of Miss Black Howard Stern'' tonight.
Howard heard that the Howard TV guys were saying that she was a big pain in the ass to work with. Doug Goodstein told him that they were working on getting the producer on the line. Howard went to take a call from Joey Boots but he had fallen asleep on the phone. He woke up a few seconds later and said that she really sucks as Miss Black Howard Stern. He said that she's not bringing anything to the table at all.
Howard asked Joey about his drug problems and Joey said that he's not doing blow anymore but he's still smoking a little weed.
Carlo from Howard TV said that Charlie was a pain in the ass because she was running late and acting a little crazy while they were running around with her shooting her for her show. He said that everything with her was like a little bit of drama. He said that it didn't work very well that day.
Howard asked JD who he hates more, Jared or Charlie. JD said that he'd probably pick Jared to hang out with over Charlie. Robin found it odd that he'd pick a dude over a chick like that. They asked him if he'd fuck Jared or Charlie first. He said he guesses that he'd pick Charlie for that. Howard had to go to break right after that.
Steve said they have a story about Kenneth Keith Kallenbach and the prison he was being held in being investigated over some deaths that have happened there. Steve said that they also have a story about Artie getting stiffed by the people who put out his movie. Steve said that he spoke to Jeremy Dallow and he'll have more on that and about Artie getting stiffed by some people in Florida.
Steve said they have a story about Danny Bonaduce and Adam Carolla's radio show break up that was mentioned in an article recently.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who had a suggestion for Miss Black Howard Stern. He suggested that they have her spin a ''Wheel of JD'' and make her do stuff for him when she spins the wheel. Howard said that they could have her doing stuff like making out with JD or let JD give her a Roman Soldier Helmet or something like that.
JD came in and said that he's not pulling his balls out. He said that he might spank her or something like that. Howard suggested that they have her smell his breath for a minute or something. Hanzi suggested having her give him a lap dance to that techno song. Howard said they could do something like that.
A caller asked if JD stands for Jeffrey Dahmer and asked how many heads he has in his freezer. The joke didn't go over all that well. The caller thought that JD hated women. Howard asked JD if he does. JD said that he doesn't hate women.
JD said that he'd be willing to do the Wheel of JD but he had to see what they were going to put on that wheel. He said he really didn't want her doing anything to him but he would go along with some of this stuff. JD was laughing with that hooting laugh of his so the guys were goofing on him about that. JD said that he's easily amused, that's why he's always laughing.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the subjects they were going to try and cover on today's show.
Robin read another story about who should be allowed to live in a pandemic. Howard ran down his list of people he thinks should be allowed to die. He said that all of the people who have the oil should be allowed to die. The people without the oil should be allowed to live. They went through some of the people there at the station and said that they'd probably have to let the good looking guys die. That way the ugly guys would have a chance with the hot chicks that were left alive.
Robin went through the story about the pandemic thing and who will not get a vaccine or treatment for the illness. It would include people over 85, severely burned patients over 60, those with chronic diseases and a few other groups. All of them will basically be left to die.
Robin went through some other stories including one about a 17 year old girl who gave birth to a baby and walked to the hospital with the umbilical cord still attached. Robin read another story about a woman who allegedly killed her babies and kept them in a freezer.
Robin had a story about Duane Wade allegedly dating Star Jones. Artie jokingly said he didn't know that he was gay. He said that he doesn't want to think about something like that.
Artie asked Howard if he can tell chicks that he's bringing them to Howard Stern's wedding when they go to this party he's holding. Howard told him that's fine because he wants him to get a really hot chick. Artie said he has a chick in mind and he thinks that she's the hottest chick of all time. Howard said that they'll even talk about him like he's the best guy of all time. Artie said that the chick lives out of town so he needs to give her a good reason to come to town.
Howard had to go to break around 10:20am. After the break Howard came back and had Robin get right back into her news. Robin read a story about Opie from the Opie and Anthony show having a girlfriend who might have a sex tape coming out. That story came from Chaunce Hayden from Steppin' Out Magazine and now they're saying that the story never had a grain of truth to it and it's been retracted from the NY Post article that was written.
Artie said that Chaunce made him the asshole of the week in his column recently and said that he'd punch his face into oblivion if he lunged at him. Howard said he'd love to see that happen. Artie said he'd love to do it too. Artie said that Chaunce seems to be obsessed with the show and must listen to every minute of it because he knew every detail of that fight with Teddy.
Robin read a story about this horse that collapsed after a race over the weekend because it broke its two front ankles. They had to put the horse down right then and there on the race track. The horse came in second place. Robin said that the people from PETA are stepping in now and getting involved in horse racing to find out why this type of thing is happening. Robin read another story about a family that left their baby in their car while they went in and watched the Kentucky Derby in an off track betting place.
Robin read some news about Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey dumping Reverend Wright, Miley Cyrus, Robert Downey Jr. talking about Iron Man, Christina Ricci talking about Speed Racer and a couple of other things. they wrapped up the news and the show around 10:50am.
JD said that he thinks that Jared believes that he's better than him at everything... and that's it. Gary said that he'd like to know what he's done to him that makes him feel that way. JD said he doesn't know and he doesn't want to get into it. That's exactly what Gary was referring to. JD can't express his opinions when he's asked for details.
JD said he doesn't want to get anyone in trouble and he doesn't want to get other people involved in any of this stuff. Then he went into a story about Jared and how he became buddy buddy with Ronnie and he got tired of the way he was treating him so he just called and end to it.
Gary said that JD has taken that shit from Ronnie all this time and he continues to do so but he won't take it from Jared. JD said that he was saying too much and didn't want to get into it with him again.
Jon and Gary asked JD why he hates Miss Black Howard Stern, Charlie Superfly, so much. JD said that she's not very genuine and she's always in this character and it's very annoying to him. Gary had to big his lip to stop from laughing at that.
JD continued to talk about how annoying she is and how she should be more willing to do stuff for the show than she is. Gary said that Miss Regular Howard Stern didn't get naked on the show for a couple of years. JD gave them another ''I don't know...'' after that. Jon thanked him for clearing that up for them.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that JD doesn't know how to clear up anything. He said that he never does anything for them on the air. JD said he was sorry but that's the way he talks when he's on the air. He said he doesn't like being on the air and he's not a performer so he can't entertain this guy. The caller suggested he take a class to learn how to express himself. He said that if he learned how to talk then maybe that would help him with his relationships.
JD asked Richard if he's more clear off the air. Richard said he is a little bit. Gary agreed with him on that but he's just a little clearer.
Another caller told JD that porn was made for guys like him. The caller also said that he'd like them to keep Double A off the air.
Jon asked JD about the techno song that Howard was playing today. That led to JD talking about how Richard had heard him playing the song in his office and telling Howard about it. Richard said he heard JD blasting it in his studio so he went in and got the name of the song and then asked him what song it was. JD quickly changed it but he had already gotten the name.
Richard said he didn't care when he was at the concert because he was drunk and he was full of Miller Light. He also told a story about going to an Iron Maiden concert years ago and how he was going to piss himself there but they ended up playing a song that he didn't like so much so it was a good time to go pee.
Richard told another story about being on tour with a band that was on tour with Iron Maiden. He said that he was going to piss himself there but if he had, it would have run down the stand he was on into the sound board and it would have shorted out the board.
Gary said that he peed in a diaper one time but he could never pee himself like Richard did. He said that if he was in the same situation as Richard, he'd have to miss a song to go to the bathroom. Richard said that Coheed and Cambria is so great that he just didn't want to miss anything. He said that they're the best live band he's ever seen.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he gets the whole idea of having to use the bathroom when you really have to go but he finds it disgusting to be able to piss yourself when you can just walk to a bathroom. Richard said he agrees that it's disgusting but not really for him because he doesn't mind his own piss. It did bother his girlfriend though. He said that she understands how weird and odd he is. He said that she just stared at him for about 10 seconds when he told her what he had done. Richard said that he only wore those pee pants for about an hour and a half after he peed so they didn't get a chance to smell that bad.
Jon played a clip of Richard peeing his diaper today. After that they talked about how upset Artie got when he saw him peeing. Gary said that Artie didn't throw anything at him today but in 6 months who knows how he'd react to something like that.
Benjy said that he doesn't find it all that gross but he can't imagine standing there in your own urine like that. Richard said he knew that he was going home from the concert right after that so he wasn't too worried about peeing his pants. Richard said that he may be shitting his pants in a year or so from now.
Richard said that he and his girlfriend wipe boogers on each other just for fun. The guys sounded shocked by that. Richard said that they'll show each other their boogers and rate them and stuff like that.
Richard asked Gary if he's ever eaten his boogers. Gary said he hadn't but Richard didn't believe that. Gary said he swears he never has done that. Richard said that he used to eat his boogers when he was a kid but he doesn't do that anymore. He said he did it there to gross Sal out.
Gary said that Sal came up to him and asked him about the urine diaper thing this morning and he was surprised he was so grossed out by what Richard had done. Gary said that they've done grosser stuff than that before.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he eats his boogers too. That guy also asked Richard if there's any other concert that he'd go to where he'd shit his pants if he had to go. He said that if Stryper did a concert where they played all of their great songs, he might do it there.
Some other callers were asking about the peeing thing and talking about how strange Richard is. Gary asked Richard how many people he thinks actually do that kind of thing at a concert. Richard guessed that it would be 5 percent but Gary figured it would be much less than that.
Jon asked Richard about going to Applebee's instead of a nicer restaurant. Richard said that he doesn't like change and he knows that places like that are going to be good.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Gary when he became an elitist and thinks that Applebee's is so bad. Gary said that place is for kids and not so much for adults living in New York City. There are many better options there in the city where you can get some great food.
Another caller asked why Richard didn't rinse out his pants after he pissed them. Richard said that he just hung them on his door and didn't rinse them out at all. Richard said he didn't even think of doing that so maybe he is retarded.
The caller on the line said that they shouldn't be telling Richard to go out to eat anywhere but a place like Applebee's because he fits in at a place like that perfectly. Richard said that he loves the way Times Square is set up because you can go to Applebee's and then go to a movie theater which is right next door. He said that you don't even have to walk outside.
Richard and JD talked about going out to play skeeball one day and they were hogging the machines so kids couldn't play. Shuli told a story about Beetlejuice going out to play some claw machine trying to win stuffed animals at a place they were at one time.
Another caller said that Richard and his girlfriend are really strange and he wondered what the hell is up with that. He said that even Gary the Retard wouldn't do the stuff that Richard does. Gary said that he's probably right and Gary the Retard probably doesn't eat his boogers.
Richard talked about a kid in school who used to pee on him in the showers. He said the guy also shit on the hood of his car one time. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked JD about the porn clip that they played. JD said that he had seen the clip and it was a guy ''jackhammering'' her mouth like they said in the clip. Richard said that he had heard some similar noises but that one was pretty wild. Gary asked if any of them had heard a noise like that in real life. No one had.
Benjy asked the guys if they had ever been deep throated or if they had the desire to do something like that. They talked about that for a short time and Gregg from Howard TV was saying that Benjy was saying it the wrong way and he should be saying that he deep throated the girl and not the other way around. Benjy said he thought it was right the way he was saying it.
Jon asked Will what was going on with that chick Roxy. Will said that he told her what she had to do and she knew exactly what she was going to have to do but things eventually worked out. He said that he thinks there are levels of porn stars and they think that they're high class when they make these deals. He said he doesn't get why they have a problem taking their clothes off after they've swallowed stranger's loads.
Shuli reminded the guys of the time Richard crapped in a coffee can and put it in an oven at a rock show he was doing one time. Richard talked about that a little bit and also talked about being an electrician and how people would piss in the pipes and he'd have to suck string through them to put wire though them. He said that he'd turn the vacuum on and it would suck piss out and all over him. Shuli said he did that job for a while and never experienced that himself.
Richard talked about how he lived in a storage unit in Florida for a while and he would piss outside his door and the next morning he'd open it up and it would stink really bad.
Jon took a call from a guy who had a suggestion for Richard. He said that they have this thing called a Texas catheter that you can put over your dick so you can pee into a bag. Gary said that he can't imagine walking around with something like that. Benjy suggested that they take Richard to a McDonald's and change him on one of those changing tables in the bathroom.
A caller asked JD about the girls he has had before and why he thinks he can't get chicks. Gary said that JD could get chicks but he has all of these weird rules for the kind of girls he'd date. JD was getting all flustered and wasn't really having an easy time answering the questions the guys were asking him.
Gary said that JD has always had something going on in his life and he's had girls who are into him. Benjy said that he's heard that some girls think that JD is mean to them even though he's a really nice guy. JD said that if he doesn't know someone then he gets kind of defensive. That led to the guys asking JD about having a long term relationship. JD said that he had one when he was about 19 but that only lasted a month. He said that chick left him for a cop.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that the show is very gay and it sounded like Artie's resentment toward the show was building up today when they were talking about all of that gay shit. Gary said that Artie does get upset with some of the stuff they do in the studio and it does seem to be a genuine aggravation he has.
JD said that he thinks that Sal and Richard are trying to channel their gayness through him because he's seen some of the ideas that they've had for the Wheel of JD and most of them involve his penis.
A phone caller asked why they're goofing on Coheed and Cambria so much because they're a great band. Gary said it wasn't the band that they were talking about and it was just what Richard did there that was freaking them out. The guy claimed that he might have to piss his pants if he was at a concert of theirs.
The guys talked about how great it was when Howard was making up the lyrics to the techno song that JD liked. Benjy said that was probably one of the greatest moments of the show in a long time.
Charlie was on the phone so Jon picked up on her. Charlie said that her phone call went horribly wrong for her. She said it was awful. JD asked her if she was there to get her plugs in on this show now. Charlie said she didn't know she had to come up with ideas to get on the show.
Gary told Charlie that she has to find a way to make herself more interesting. Shuli told her that she's too normal to be on the show regularly. Charlie thought that's how she won the contest though, she was just being herself and being the normal person that she is.
Gary told Charlie that she's trying to get plugs for stuff but she's not delivering anything to the show. He said that she has to do stuff that will get her on the show and make it interesting. Gary said that she must have been hit on by someone famous and she will probably never tell stories like that because they'd have to drag the stories out of her. She said they wouldn't if they would just answer the phone.
Charlie said that she doesn't get the JD thing and why he hates her so much. She said that she thinks that he's just mad at her because she didn't say hello to him when she got there at first.
Jon asked JD what she could do to get into her good graces. JD didn't have an answer for that. Gary told Charlie that she should drop him a note when she comes up with some ideas to talk about on the show. Gary said that he has a form that she might be able to fill out but he wants her to email him first with the subjects that she has for him.
Jon let Charlie go and took some more calls about JD. One guy said that his sister is really interested in JD and she'd like to meet him. He said that she was number 3 in the Miss Virginia contest a few years ago and he thinks that she'd like him. Gary told that guy to e-mail him and he'd set that up. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about his opening theme song and how he performed it live with Rob Zombie one time at the premiere of his movie ''Private Parts.'' He talked about how they mixed in their real voices with the recorded voices so it was basically lip syncing but also singing live. He said they sang over it so they were really singing. Robin said it sounded like lip syncing to her.
Howard said there were vocals on the track they were singing along to but they were singing. He said he had a lot of pressure that night so he was glad they had the track with the voices on it. Artie said it sounded like a Milli Vanilli thing going on. Howard said they actually sang on the record unlike Milli Vanilli.
Howard said he came in this morning and asked Ronnie how many more years he had left on his contract. They have 2 and a half more years left and Howard said he's been hearing that for a long time and it doesn't seem to be getting any shorter.
Artie thought that the 2 and a half years that have gone by so far went pretty quick. Howard aid that's because he's having a blast doing what he's doing. Artie got a laugh out of that.
Howard started off with the Wrap Up Show clips. He had one of JD talking about why he doesn't like Jared again. He said that it's pretty funny to hear him trying to explain it to everyone. In the clip Gary tells JD that he still doesn't know why he hates Jared. JD tries to explain it and says that he thinks that Jared thinks he's better at everything than he is. Then JD just gives up and says that he doesn't want to get into it.
Howard and Artie talked about how Jared really is better than JD but he's also better than them in a lot of ways. Howard and Artie talked about that crazy talk for a minute.
Howard said that he had another clip from the Wrap Up Show where the guys were talking to Richard about his pissing himself. Howard said this clip was kind of gross too. In the clip Richard talks about wiping boogers on his girlfriend. He said they both do that to each other.
Howard was about to vomit thinking about that booger thing. He gagged a little bit and then talked about the picture that Richard sent to him where he's holding a booger. He said that he might have to ban him from using the Lotus Notes program they use there so he doesn't have to see that stuff anymore.
Howard played another clip where a fan calls and asks Richard what he did with the pants he pissed at the concert. Richard said he just hung them on his door without washing them. Robin said that didn't surprise her at all. She said that she was amazed that he actually showered.
Howard was distracted by Benjy when he got up and left the studio. Artie said he saw him putting in his contact lenses again so that's probably why he left. Benjy came in so Howard asked him what was going on. Benjy said that his contact got flipped over and he had to put it back in place. Howard thought Artie had seen him putting them in but Benjy said he was just fixing them.
Benjy said that it was bullshit that Artie saw him putting the contacts in. He said he just had to fix the one that was out of place. Robin said he's always got problems like that. Benjy said he doesn't have them all the time.
Howard got back to the Wrap Up Show clips and played one where Richard was talking about crapping his pants when he was a drummer and on tour. He said he would shit his pants and sit in it while he was playing.
Howard said he doesn't even believe that JD dated that girl for a whole month. Robin asked JD if she banged her. That led to Fred playing a bunch of Napoleon Dynamite audio clips since JD sounds so much like that guy.
Howard asked JD if he fucked that girl that he claimed to date for 30 days. JD said that he was going to but he got too nervous and backed out before it happened.
Howard cut JD off and said that Dancing with the Stars got him laid last night. He said that they're done with that show now. He said that he predicted some scores that the judges gave and he got them right. He said he had told Beth that she had to bang him if he got them right. He said he knew that she didn't want to do it but he woke her up and made her do it. He said that she's been going to a yoga class lately so she's always tired.
Howard said he became a massage boy last night and started to play the boy who was touching her in inappropriate places. He said that was foreplay for them. Artie thought that the Dancing with the Stars thing was kind of gay. Howard said he didn't care last night.
Artie asked JD how far he got with that chick he dated. JD said that he got to feel her tits under the clothes. He said that he backed out because everything got so awkward with her. He said that she was like a 6 to him. Artie asked JD what his count was for getting laid. Howard said even he knows how many it is. He said that it's 3 women. Artie said that the one chick he got him out in Vegas was just a blow job but JD said that he got laid.
JD said that he did get laid out there in Vegas so Artie said that it must have been quick because he was only gone for like 8 minutes. JD said it was longer than that. He said that after they were done the chick was ready to go so he just said ''Okay...'' Artie said that she was pretty hot looking too.
Howard asked JD what went on with the chick he was dating who went off with the cop. JD said that she went off with the cop, then someone else and then she got pregnant. Artie told JD it's good that he didn't get her pregnant. Howard said that it may have gotten him a chick if he had gotten her pregnant.
Howard said that he was sticking with his 3 girls theory about JD. JD said that it was more like 7 women. Howard said that he's got to be lying about that. Fred hasn't even had 7. Howard said he thinks that Fred has had two. Fred said that it's actually about 7. Howard said that Fred is lying and he's only been with 2. Fred said that this makes Howard feel that his day has been ruined if he had 7 women so he can say that it's just 2 if he wants to.
Howard went through the list of women he knew about and talked about what he and Fred have talked about before. He said that he knew of 2 and went through the history with Fred. Fred said that there were some women he had before his wife that he didn't have to tell them about. Howard thought Fred was lying but Fred insisted he wasn't. Howard told him to produce them for the show but Fred said he didn't have to do that.
Howard said that Fred is claiming that at K-Rock he had 3 women. Fred said that there were 3 there and Gary knew about one of them. Fred said he had 3 in college. He said that it would be 8 women if they counted blow jobs.
Howard said that Fred was going from 10 to 7 but Artie said that Fred was saying 7 from the start. Howard said that when he met Fred he was a hillbilly from Connecticut and he hadn't had any women. Fred seemed to be getting very irritated with Howard and went off on him for thinking that he's so special. Howard said he stands corrected then since he didn't know it was 7.
Howard said that he's had 9 women. He said that he can say how many he's banged but he can't say the names of the famous women he's had. He doesn't want to ruin any careers. Fred said that Angie Everhart was proud of it so it wouldn't ruin anyone's career.
Robin was wondering about the numbers that Fred was talking about and also thought that he was making up something. She said she never knew it was that many and there were at least 3 women that he had that he had never spoken about.
Fred tried to change the subject to Robin and Jim. He wanted to know if she's in love but Robin didn't want to get into that again.
Howard got back to JD and asked him if he was lying about the 7. JD said that he's not lying and he has had 7 different women. Howard said he's going to have Steve Langford investigate both of them. Artie said that's the assignment that's going to get Steve killed. Fred said that Steve had better stay home today.
JD said that some of his situations have been kind of shady so he can't get into it. Howard figured he had banged some married chicks or something. He said he's heard some of those stories. Howard asked JD how he got involved with those chicks. JD said he didn't want to get into that and mumbled a ''whatever...'' for them.
Howard said that it would be great if JD was Sal's wife's ''emotional friend.'' Artie said that he'd rather find out it was JD than a Chipendales dancer or someone like that. Howard asked JD what he would do if he found out something like that was true. Artie said that he still thinks that JD would be a better discovery than the dancer guy.
A caller asked Fred why he was so pissy this morning. Fred didn't think he was. The caller said that he was lashing out for no apparent reason. Fred said he wasn't lashing out at the caller. The caller said he was kind of disappointed in Fred. Fred said he hopes that it doesn't ruin his day and that he can still go to work today.
Robin said that Fred is awfully angry for someone who has had 7 women. JD left right around then. Artie said that there's no way that JD has banged 7 chicks.
Howard read some mail about the discussion they had about the Sex and the City movie yesterday. Some of the fans are upset about what they were talking about. Some people think that Howard is kind of gay for wanting to see that movie. Howard said that he might do some gay stuff like that but Artie cried at a Michael Jackson concert one time and that's kind of gay too.
Howard read some mail about how unfunny it was when Richard peed in a diaper yesterday. Some people want him kept out of the studio and caged outside. That led to Robin talking about Richard peeing outside of his storage unit that he was living in down in Florida.
Howard talked about an e-mail he had about Richard going to Applebee's. The writer said that he makes over $100,000 a year and he goes there for a quick bite to eat and it's no big deal. Howard said that he gets the point but it wasn't about Richard going to a mall, he was in the heart of Manhattan where he could go to an Italian family restaurant and have some great food for the same cost as going to an Applebee's. He said they have some great food at so many other restaurants. Howard said that Richard is a hick and that's why he went where he did.
Richard said that he wants to do the taste test that they're doing for the Pizza Hut where they test pasta from that place and other places. He said that people can't taste the difference. Richard said he likes their pizza but Howard told him that it's horrible.
Gary said that when those restaurants open up in Manhattan they have to charge more than they would out in the suburbs. Howard said he used to go to that Mars 2112 restaurant in Times Square and the food was really expensive and not all that fancy.
Richard said he goes to regular restaurants there in the city and he loves the food. He thought it was fine to go to Applebee's that night.
Howard said that he got some mail about how mean they were to Miss Black Howard Stern. There were some people who thought that they were right to go off on her the way they did. Howard read through a bunch of those e-mails and some people were saying that she should be kept off the show.
Howard said that they are going to have Miss Black Howard Stern, Charlie Superfly, on the show and they will do the Wheel of JD with her. They're going to have her doing some stuff with him.
Eric said that he has some other deals going on right now and he can't talk about that will not allow him to shave his head.
Howard said that Eric would have nothing going on in his life without this show. Howard said that Eric must be up for some shampoo commercial or something. Howard said that Fred makes a good point there with the comments he was making about him.
Fred went off on Eric for acting the way he is after the way they've treated him. He said that this is the way he repays them, by being a shithead to them. He asked Eric why he's such a dick. Eric didn't get a chance to answer because everyone was going off on him for not just going through with this part like he said he would.
Eric said that Fred was a jackass after he had gone off on him for a few. Fred all wound up today and going off on everything.
Howard said that Eric does this every time with the stuff he says he's going to do for the show. He always finds a way to back out of the deal. Eric said that he has quit the show before so that's why he never finished the scripts that he worked on in the past.
Howard asked Eric why he's worried about his hair if he's always wearing a hat. Eric said he can't go into why he can't shave his head because he's got this deal in the works. Howard figured that he has no deal and he's just using that as an excuse to back out of the deal.
Gary came in and said something about the script being done and was surprised when Howard said that he had read it even though Howard had just talked about that. Howard asked him if he ever listens to the show. Gary said that sometimes he misses things when he's on the phone. That led to some Baba Booey song parodies being played. They goofed on Gary for a short time because he was actually the one who had e-mailed Howard that script to read. Gary said he forgot about that.
Howard said that Eric has backed out of it and he figures it would never happen. Robin said that it was never going to be made anyway. Gary said that Colin is going to be really bummed out because he was into the script so much.
Howard said that Eric has never completed anything he's started. Eric said that he did finish his book ''Dougie The Puggie.''
Richard came in and said that he has friends who would love to work on this movie and do a fake mohawk that would look like the real thing. Fred said that Eric will find something else to use to back out of this deal.
Gary asked if they're going to cut Eric off and not let him plug anything anymore. Howard said that he's not going to pressure Eric to do anything. He said that he calls himself an actor but he's obviously not going to prove that he's an actor by doing this thing.
Eric said that all he's going to say is that the people he's possibly going to work with is something he's wanted to do for a long time now. Gary asked if they're going to work with him if he can't plug what he's doing there on the Howard Stern Show. Howard told Eric that his hair would grow back. Eric said that it won't grow back in the time he needs it to grow back in. Howard said that he's not going to have Colin go any further with this thing if Eric is going to back out of it.
Fred suggested that they use that Dominic the Midget guy for the part. Howard said that Eric was the draw there. Eric said that the room (JFSC.tv) was suggesting a fake mohawk. Howard said they'd think about that but he's not sure that Colin would want to do that. Howard said that maybe Eric could wear a wig for the other part he's getting and really cut the mohawk. Eric said that it would be on live TV so he can't do that. The guys argued with him about that for a few seconds but Eric kept them on the line saying that it sucked that he couldn't talk about this other deal he had.
Eric said that the other deal is with someone who is going to be in there from June 1st through the 9th. Howard said that they could start on the 10th then and do the movie then. Robin told Eric that they contracted with him first. Eric said his other deal has been in the works for a long time. Howard was wondering what project he'd be involved with that would require a full head of hair.
Robin said that this was Colin's first deal that he had a go with and now that's getting canceled. Eric said that he's catching flack from everyone in his room and he will do the deal no matter what. Then he said that he can't do the mohawk. Artie said that's not ''no matter what'' then.
Howard said that it must be a wrestling deal that Eric has in the works. He said that he remembers hearing a commercial for some cage fighting deal and that must be what he's talking about. Howard asked Eric if he was close on that. Eric said he had no idea if he was close or not. Howard told him he had to go.
Artie told Eric he sucks as they were saying goodbye to him. Eric said that he'd be willing to do the film if there wasn't the issue of the mohawk. Howard thanked him and let him go. He said he was done with that conversation.
Howard said that they can't do Taxi Driver unless it's parody and they had to go through meetings with lawyers and stuff to make sure they could do it. He said there's still a chance that it won't happen. Howard said that they're already spending money on it and now Eric is backing out. He said that Colin has written a killer script and it looks like it would work.
Howard said that there are lawyers telling them that there are issues with making this parody movie. He said that even if they get Eric to commit to it, there's still a chance they won't be able to make it. Howard said that he still thinks that Eric just doesn't want to shave his head and no one told him he can't shave it.
Howard had some clips from Dolly Parton's audio book that he played. They were edited clips that Richard put together where he had her using the N-word, calling celebrities names and accusing people of doing weird stuff. He played a bunch of those clips and said that her book probably shot to number one after people heard those clips. He played through a few more and said he had to take a break.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would do a movie with Woody Allen or Roman Polansky. Howard said that he was offered a job with Woody but he didn't want to give the plot of the movie. He said that it probably would have been pretty funny but he didn't agree to do it. Howard said that he has a problem with what Woody did to Mia Farrow. He said that he might throw all of his morality out the window and do it. He said that at the end of the day he's a huge Woody Allen fan.
Gary said that he saw that there was a movie on Woody's IMDB profile where he's playing brothers with someone. Howard said that it wasn't written by Woody so that wasn't it. He said it may have been similar to that though.
Howard talked about what Woody Allen did to Mia and how wrong that was. He said that he can get plenty of women and he didn't have to go after her adopted daughter.
Howard said that he's been in places where Woody has been at but he's never had the chance to talk to the guy to ask him about what he did. He said that he was right next to him at a restaurant one time but he didn't say anything. He said he thinks that he went to a very dark and fucked up place with that Sun Yi.
The caller said that he saw the show on Howard TV with Justine Jolie on it and he said that was a great show. He said that it was very cool to see the girls on top of each other messing around and stuff. Howard said that he thinks that channel is the most important channel out there right now.
Howard said he thinks that the bowling show is going to shoot them to the top once that comes out later this month.
Richard said that the guy sticks the chick's head in the water and then lets her come up for a quick breath and then sticks her head in again.
Artie asked Howard if he thinks that Sal is capable of killing a woman. Howard said he does think he could. Sal came in saying ''No way'' over and over again. Howard asked Sal how his marriage is going. Sal said that it's like living with a roommate that you can't get rid of. He said that it's become an arraignment and it's like they're just like their parents waiting for the kids to grow up and get out of the house.
Howard asked Sal if he thinks the 143 thing is over with the wife. Sal said he doesn't think that she's back with that guy but he's desensitized to everything. Sal said he tried to improve the relationship but something happened that kind of screwed it up again. He said that she went back to the emotional friend thing and that kind of screwed it up.
Sal said that he doesn't give a shit anymore. There's nothing that he can do. He said he loves his wife and kids and he thinks that his wife loves him. He said that he's pretty sure that she's not talking to the emotional friend anymore. Sal said that she got a new phone and put a password on it so he can't check it anymore.
Sal said that he has the whole crew from the Howard Stern Show on his phone and he doesn't even password protect it.
Howard asked Sal why he would want to live in a loveless marriage. Sal said he thinks that there is love there and that's why he's staying. Fred asked Sal what it is that's stopping it from getting better. Sal said that they made these commitments to be married and raise kids. Fred asked him what's holding them back from becoming close again. Sal said that he's not sure.
Howard said that the problem is that Sal is fucked up because he doesn't know how to read women. That led to Sal talking about how he can read women and said that he sees these women going out and cheating on their husbands. He said that if you catch someone cheating on you and you kill the other guy, that's wrong. Howard said that it seems like Sal hates women.
Sal said that he doesn't hate women. He said that if he did, he wouldn't be shacked up with this pain in the ass for the rest of his life. Sal said that there are a lot of women who cheat on their husbands and they deserve some kind of restitution.
Will came in and said that Sal has a theory about the 8 stages of marriage. Howard cut him off with that and asked him about his black eye. Will said that his buddy accidentally hit him when they were horsing around. Gary said he thinks there's more to it too.
Gary said that Will told him that guys get black eyes all the time. Gary said he doesn't know of anyone who has had a black eye in a long time. He said that it doesn't happen all the time.
Sal said that Will gets very racy when he drinks and said that Robin might want to leave the room if they're going to talk about that. Sal said that Will isn't racist but he gets very vicious and uses the N-word and stuff. Will said that this isn't true and this discussion is retarded. Sal said that when people are drinking that kind of stuff comes out. He said that the n-word comes out and gets thrown around and stuff.
Sal said that he called Chris Rock the N-word one time before he was on the show and he didn't get mad at him. He said it was before he was on the show. He said that he asked him what a ni**er like him was doing at a Beastie Boys concert. Howard told Sal that was unbelievably ridiculous. He said he can't imagine saying that to someone like that.
Howard asked Will if he's been kicked out of more than 6 bars in New York City. Will said that he has like it was no big deal. He said that it's more than 6.
Gary told Sal to get his phone out and demonstrate how he uses the voice activation. He showed how he does Jason and then said ''Call Cheating Cunt'' to call his wife. Sal said that's just a joke of course. The phone repeated ''Call cheating cunt'' when he said it.
Artie said that he's got some advertising deal going for the site. He said he's going to sell ringtones and stuff on there too. Artie said that this is the first time he's seeing the site. He said that it does look pretty good. They had some video up there and stuff like that. He said that JD is going to be doing a blog on there and the site will be very interactive.
Lisa asked Artie if he's had any updates on his assistant search. Artie said he thinks that he's going to hire a broad instead of a dude. He said that he doesn't want to sound sexist but he thinks that a chick can do a better job than a dude can. Howard said that he agrees with that because he dealt with Betty Thomas who directed his movie and she did a great job while guys want to do things in a different way. He said that Betty worked the craft for 30 years and moved her way up instead of starting out as an expert.
Lisa spoke to some guy who used to work with Jon Hein in the comedy improve group he was in. She said that they're looking for video of Jon doing that stuff so if you have any, send it to them over at Howard 100 News.
Howard asked Lisa about the shirt she was wearing today and if she would ever wear it without jeans on and just high heels. The shirt was really long and it could be a dress. Lisa said that she'd look very silly like that. Howard said that she should trust him on that and just wear it the way he was describing. Artie agreed with him and thought that she'd look great like that.
Artie said that the guys who did his web site are the same guys who do Howard's site, Dream Tank. Howard said that they seem to have done a better job on Artie's site than they even did on his site. He went to break a short time later.
Howard played another clip where a reporter talks about Hillary Clinton liking dicks instead of ''dislikes.'' In another clip a weatherman says ''shit.''
Howard had the audio of Summer Verona that he talked about earlier. He said he had a long version this interview she did but he wasn't sure he wanted to play all of that. Robin sounded like she was fine with it.
Howard played the clip from the Tyra Banks show where she's talking about Summer Verona and how her ''father'' helps her out in the porn industry. Tyra asks Summer about her ''dad'' waxing her and stuff like that. Summer called that guy her ''father figure'' and not really her dad. She said that it's really not as creepy as people think it is.
In another clip Tyra is talking about how Summer went to work at the Bunny Ranch to be a whore. Rich, the father figure, is asking her about going back to work. Summer says that she's not all that into it so Rich has to give her some advice about it.
In another clip Summer talks about the guy that she was with at the ranch and how she wasn't able to get into him because she was thinking about her boyfriend. Summer breaks down and cries over the Bunny Ranch job and how she's not sure she can do it anymore. Summer tells Tyra that she's going to stop doing that job so she can get back to a normal job. Tyra asks if she thinks that she's letting her dad down by doing that. She said she doesn't care about that. Rich then says that he'll be supportive of whatever she wants to do but he's not optimistic that this is what she'll continue to do.
Tyra had Summer's boyfriend in the audience so they went to him and asked him what he was thinking. He said it wasn't something he wanted to see his girlfriend doing. Then he begged Summer to quit doing that and do something else. He said that she's smart and intelligent and she could do something else with her life. Summer said that she was in love with this Ryan guy and she had never said that about anyone before.
JD said that Ryan proposed to Summer at the end of the show. Howard said that the ''Dad'' probably won't be allowed to wax her anymore now.
Howard said that Summer was on their show but Tyra has continued the story. Robin said she was kind of pissed that she took that story to Tyra's show.
Howard said that Gary is the guy who hit his head on a curb in a motorcycle accident so maybe that's what happened to him. He said that he was pretty good in some of the movies that he's been in but something happened to him.
Howard said he had some audio of Busey on Geraldo's TV show. He said that he doesn't get Geraldo and what he's done with his career. He spent a minute talking about that and then played the audio of Geraldo asking Gary Busey about some of the drugs he did in the past. At one point Gary tells Geraldo what EGO stands for. He said it stands for ''Easing God Out.'' Howard heard that and said that he could listen to that stuff all day long and he wants to book him for the show.
Howard talked about the time he had to wrestle Busey to the floor in the studio when he was trying to get a hold of Robin. Artie said that Jim Florentine was in the studio that day. Artie said he missed out on that show because he was only part time at the time. Howard was the one who came to Robin's rescue that day, it wasn't Jim Florentine.
Howard said that Cindy told him that he had to get Hillary on the show and that she could try to make that happen. Then she quotes him as saying that she should come on his show. Howard said he never said that to her. He never said that he wanted her on his show. Howard said that Cindy was the one pushing him to get Hillary on the show and now she's not quoting him right. He asked her to start carrying a tape recorder so she can get those quotes right from now on. He said he was a little annoyed by what she was saying.
Howard said that it's kind of frustrating to him that she's doing that and claiming that he said stuff that he didn't say. Artie said that he could sue her saying that she's making people think that he's not funny with the comments she quoted.
Howard read a story about Dina Lohan and how she's being honored as a great mother along with other people like Ray Stern. That led to Howard talking about the call he got from his mother about her getting a phone call about this event. He said that she was asked to be part of it but she wanted nothing to do with it. Howard said he didn't want her to have anything to do with it either but they included her anyway. He said that he's glad that his mother didn't want to be involved with it.
Howard said that he thinks that Gary's mother would want to get involved with it. Gary said that his mother has done things before that have annoyed him and he's pretty sure that she's be very happy to get that honor that Howard's mom turned down.
Howard said he's glad that his mother is the way she is. He said that she doesn't do stuff like that without asking him first.
Howard said that he saw the last episode of Rock the Cradle and it looked like Joe Walsh had been guilted into showing up on the episode. Artie saw the episode and thought that Belinda Carlisle was talking about what Jesse Snider had done on this show.
Robin said she saw Beth on TV last night. Howard said that she's going to be doing an interview with Melania Trump for that show Extra. Howard didn't think that Melania was all that friendly toward Beth but then they asked her to do the interview and she requested Beth as the one to do it. He said that might get him in even closer with Trump.
Howard said that show Extra is fucked up because they do a 2 hour interview and then use about 3 seconds of it during the show. He said that Beth was following Melania around to find a dress for some fashion show she was going to be going to. Robin said that show was last night. Howard said Beth would have gone to that event if she had been invited. He said that she loves putting on that designer shit and going out but it's just a nightmare to him.
Howard said that Beth is going out tonight to some event and she's going to be wearing something where she's going to look just about naked.
Howard asked Artie about a mark on his face that turned out to be the remnants of a zit. Artie said that it's horrible to get zits like that at his age. He said that it was the bane of his existence for the longest time. He said that he was deathly afraid of having the craters on his face like some kids did in high school. Howard said he had a teacher that was all acne scarred and it was pretty bad. He said that they have stuff that can help kids out these days though. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that he heard from Will that Steve wasn't going to be talking about what was going on behind the scenes of Dancing with the Stars and the girls he was dancing with. He mentioned that Steve was part of the Anal Ring Toss game that he played with Artie.
Steve said that he didn't lose Dancing with the Stars. He said that he walked away from that. Howard said he heard that Steve was telling Beth all of these stories from him about what went on behind the scenes. Steve said that he can't talk about that stuff on the air because it's really not cool. Howard said that he should do it.
Howard said he heard that there were some people hooking up behind the scenes. Steve said he thinks that there were quite a few. He said that Shannon Elizabeth and the guy who she was dancing with were out knoodling the other night so he assumes that they're a couple. He said that the guy is not gay like some people think.
Howard asked what Shannon has done since she was in American Pie. Steve thought she was number one on the list of Maxim Magazine's hottest women list. Howard said he found that hard to believe.
Howard asked Steve about some of the other contestants on Dancing with the Stars and if any of them were hooking up. Steve said that he had this guy Mario and the women that he brought to a party he held at his house one time. He said he's not sure if Mario is banging that Karina chick but it does seem like there's some crazy stuff going on there.
Howard said he knows that Adam Carolla didn't bang his chick. Steve said that he didn't bang his chick either. He said he didn't even pop a rod when he was dancing with her. Howard didn't remember if Steve's chick was hot or not. Howard said that some of the chicks were kind of piggy in the face.
Howard told Steve he heard from this chick who told him that he was a real freak in bed. He said that the chick told him that he does stuff in bed that she didn't know could be done. Steve went on to say that it's genetics and he has a big penis just like his father and grandfather had. He said that he has about 10 inches when he's hard. Howard sounded shocked by that. Howard figured he was even big when he was flaccid.
Howard told Steve that he's about half an inch when he's flaccid but about 6 inches when he's hard. Steve said that even he's small when he gets out of the shower.
Howard said that Beth has seen him flaccid and she still stays with him. Howard said that he thinks that Steve was trying to hit on Beth but Steve said that's not the way he works. He said that he would never do that to Howard. He said that he treats her like she's a sister to him. Steve said that he lives near Howard and they live in a really nice area.
Richard came in and asked Howard if he wanted him to go into the bathroom with Steve and measure it. Steve said that he wouldn't be able to get excited over Richard. Steve said that sometimes he gets out of the shower and is impressed with the size and figures that more people should see it.
Howard said that they had some notes about porn star Brittany Star talking about how Steve had whipped it out for her one time. Steve said that he does like to show his off.
Howard asked Steve if he's wealthy because he's done some really popular movies like Cocoon and Three Men and a Baby. Steve said that he makes a few clumps of good money here and there but it's not a regular thing.
Howard said that Steve invested like 2 million in a small movie that he was in to promote the last time he was on. That movie only made $26,000.
Howard asked Steve about how much he's made in his career. Steve said that it's a ''few 10s'' of millions. He said that it wasn't 50 million like Howard thought. Steve said that he made some good investments and he's doing okay now. He said he's able to take care of his family and friends now so that's what matters. He said that he shares his money with them.
Steve said that he can go a really long time with women so maybe that's what Howard was hearing about from that woman who told him about his crazy sex. Howard asked Steve if he has a hard time getting his whole penis in a woman. Steve said that he's still an innocent and he loves having sex.
Howard asked Steve why he was sweating so much. Steve said that he doesn't use deodorant so he sweats. Howard told him he uses Dry Idea and it's the best deodorant.
Howard asked Steve if the women comment on the size of his penis when he pulls down his pants. Steve said that they do but he's not the kind of guy who gets the women from his looks so he has to use that. He said that the women usually like it, he hopes. He said that he won the lottery with his penis.
Steve said that he needs some kind of controversy in his life. Howard told him that he should go on a vacation, maybe Hawaii, and do some nude sunbathing and let the paparazzi get some shots so people can see just how big he is. Then he can fake all of the lawsuits and go on a bunch of TV shows complaining about his privacy being invaded and stuff like that. That would get him some attention.
Robin said that 10 inches sounds like too much to her. Howard asked Steve if he's ever given a chick anal. Steve must have shaken his head yes because Howard said he was saying yes. He asked him what that must be like. He asked him if he's responsible with that thing and if he has to use K-Y to get in there. Steve said that it's all normal and he doesn't have to do that.
Howard asked Steve if he uses toys or anything in bed. Steve said that he does nothing out of the ordinary. He can't even get to strange positions or anything like that. He said he doesn't even go down on a woman but then said he was just kidding and he has done that.
Howard wanted to know what kind of crazy stuff this one woman was talking about him doing if Steve says he just does normal stuff. Steve isn't sure what she was talking about.
Howard asked Steve about some women he's worked with and if he's ever banged any of them. Steve wasn't talking but he was denying a bunch of names that Howard was bringing up. They were throwing out a bunch of names but no details were coming from Steve.
Steve was talking about what a great studio they had there and how nice the atmosphere was. Howard then asked him if he banged Jessica Simpson when he worked with her. Steve said that never happened. Howard asked him if he ever had his salad tossed. Steve just started laughing and said that the first time he got it was from a Miss California and he had no idea what was going on. He said that she went in there and he figured that she didn't know where she was at. He said that he was worried that he smelled there but figured it must not have. He said that he can't even take a thermometer back there though.
Howard said that he's pretty sure that he couldn't do anything back there because he'd be afraid that it stinks. He said he's got a lot of hair going on back there too.
Steve asked Howard about his wiping because he thought that he was pretty clean with wet tissue and stuff. Howard told him he uses baby wipes now. Steve started cracking up when he heard that. Howard proved that he does use them by pulling out the baby wipes from his bag. Steve cracked up even more when he saw that.
Howard told Steve that the baby wipes really work well and he has to poke in there with those things. He said that he'd love to show people the process he does.
Steve said that he's been told that if you sit down when you pee that you won't have prostate problems. He said that when he sits his penis can sometimes hit the water. Howard said that was mind boggling to him. He said that it must be really long to actually touch the water. Steve said he was afraid that his mother was listening to this today.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was doing some work for Steve's brother at a pizza place and he thinks that Steve smelled like pot when he stopped by. Steve said that he does smoke some once in a while but he's not really a pot head.
Another caller said he heard that Steve banged Kim Cattrall. Steve said he did not. Howard said that Neil Patrick Harris was on the show recently and said that he had banged Ben Stiller's wife years ago and now he's all over the news in articles about that story.
Howard said that giving up some names for them to give up to the press might help him out. Steve said that he's afraid to say the names because he's afraid to piss them off. Steve said he'd love to but he's too afraid.
Howard asked Steve if he got Courtney Cox. Steve said he did not. He said he didn't get Sharon Stone either. He said that he didn't get Elizabeth McGovern. Kirstie Alley was mentioned and Steve said that she was a very nice lady. He said that he wishes that he could say but he just can't.
Another phone caller said that maybe Steve got Tom Selleck. Steve said that he was a handsome man but he has never had a man.
Howard heard that Steve went to a benefit show and Sal bothered him the whole night. Steve cracked some jokes about Sal but said that he was actually a nice guy that night. Sal came in to defend himself but ran out when Steve said he was just kidding.
Howard took a call from Ralph who asked Steve ''Mr. Big Cock'' who he dated. He wanted him to just say that instead of who he ''banged.'' Steve said that he dated Maureen McCormick from the Brady Bunch. He said that was many years ago though.
Howard asked Steve who he's attracted to and who he dated. He asked him if Marsha tossed his salad. Steve laughed again.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he was at a ''rub and tug'' up in Danbury Connecticut and they told him that Steve had just been there before him. Steve said that he had no reason to be in Danbury and he can't imagine they were telling the truth. Steve said that people say they're him all the time because he's such an ordinary looking guy.
Steve said he wishes that he was more controversial. Howard told him that he was fine, he talked about his big penis. Howard said that might even get him some mentions in the papers. Howard asked him what kind of rubbers he uses. He said that he uses Magnums. Howard asked him how old he was when he first realized he needed those things and not regular ones. Steve said he was working on a movie at the time when he first heard about them. A woman he was with told him that he needed the bigger ones.
Howard said that Jason has to use the Magnums too. That led to Jason coming in and saying that it's not the length, it's the girth. Jason said that he's not embarrassed to buy condoms now that he buys Magnums. He said hat he's very proud of them now. Howard said he might have to put some stuff on his cock to make it bigger so he can buy some Magnums.
Artie said that he doesn't wear Magnums, he uses the same condoms that Howard does. Howard asked Steve if he's ever gotten a chick pregnant. Steve said that he hasn't and he's very happy about that. Howard asked Steve about doing anal and if he's ever found doody on his condom. Steve laughed again.
Steve told a story about how he was banging a chick one time and caught a whiff of doody while they were having regular sex. He said that turned him off to that chick and he ended it with her. He said that he had to end it with another chick because she had a hair on her nose. Howard said that he's smelled bad ass on a chick before and he had to end it with her too.
Howard asked Steve about pulling out a plumb with a chick and Steve laughed his ass off again. Howard said that he can't believe he's 54 years old and talking about this stuff the way he does. He said he's got to get out of this business.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he hung out with Steve at the charity event he was at recently and he's a pussy magnet. The guy said that Steve was checking out some of the chicks there and he was able to get some numbers for the guy before he left. The guy thinks that Steve is a sex addict because he was talking about how all he can think about is pussy.
Howard said that he thinks that Steve was interested in Beth until he found out she was dating him. Steve said that he knew that she was with Howard and he never wanted to hit on her.
Howard wrapped up with Steve and told him that he was his bro and he did vote for him on Dancing with the Stars. He said that Steve is flying out to L.A. for some meetings and stuff so hopefully he'll get some deals going out there. He has a meeting with Warner Brothers so Artie joked that he heard that he was going out to the Warner Brothers store out there. Steve said that he hopes he didn't jinx it by talking about it on the air. Howard told him he has a role for him in a Taxi Driver remake because their star may be backing out of the deal.
Howard asked Steve about the girl with the doody smell. Steve said that he stopped in the middle of banging her. He didn't even finish with that chick. Robin said that Gary once finished banging a chick who was vomiting. Howard said that Gary is a real man and he finished the job. Howard had to wrap up and go to break after that.
Howard thought that song he played was awful but Fred seemed to kind of like it. Howard went on to talk about how Steve was spilling the beans during the break about what was going on at Dancing with the Stars. He said he wishes that he had that Steve on the air.
Howard took a call from a guy who played a ''who's younger than Beth O'' game. He had Jude Law, The World Trade Center and some other stuff. The guy said he just did that to get on the air but Howard really didn't care about playing.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Howard asked Steve about his big penis but Steve said that was all nonsense. He said that they have a story about Benjy Bronk winning the Paris Hilton BFF web site thing. Steve said that they will have more on that.
Howard said that Benjy came to him and asked if he could take a month off to be Paris' best friend if they let him do it. Howard said he told him no. He said he doesn't want Benjy taking a month off from his job because he's got an i