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Howard started the show off by talking about the show ''Rock the Cradle'' and how he's been watching that religiously lately. He said that he though the show was great but it's not getting very good ratings from what he's heard. He said that they're now down to doing double elimination rounds with the kids on the show.
Howard said that they've got some nice kids on the show but he said that Bobby Brown doesn't seem to be all that supporting of his kids. He said that Bobby was telling his kid not to do his song ''My Prerogative'' because that was his song even though the people on the show told the kid to perform that song.
Howard said that Kenny Loggins kid, Crosby, looks kind of like Kenny and he acts a lot like his father. He said that he's very similar in all of that but he doesn't really sing like Kenny. He said that he's got the guitar and kind of sounds like him when he talks but he's not all that great. He said they all want to be like their dads but they're never going to be like them.
Howard said that this Crosby is putting down Dee Snider's kid. Gary said that he really isn't charismatic too. He came in and talked about the kids on the show and how odd some of them act. Howard said that he's kind of biased toward Jesse Snider because he knows the kid and saw him grow up. He also talked about how his mother is a little overbearing and pushes him to do some stuff that he doesn't want to.
Gary told Robin to watch an episode of the show and he's pretty sure that she won't get into it nearly as much as Howard has. Artie said that he can't even find the show on TV because there are so many shows like that out there.
Howard said he tried to watch the Tila Tequila show but it was unwatchable. He said that she's kind of hot but the other chicks on the show aren't.
Artie said that he did a benefit show for Beetlejuice recently because he and his organization apparently need money. Howard said he had no idea he was doing that. Artie did tell him about it but he's apparently forgotten about it.
Howard said that this Miley Cyrus posed for some pictures for Annie and they're kind of disturbing because they make her look like she's her father's girlfriend. He said that Annie apparently took a picture of her with her clothes off and now Disney is upset about that. Miley is so popular that she may be worth a billion dollars by the time she turns 18 years old. He said that her show, Hannah Montana, is the second highest rated next to American Idol and he had no idea that was going on.
Howard said that everyone is in a panic over these nude pictures and Miley is apologizing for what she did and saying that they're coming across as too sexual. Howard said that they're saying that everyone knew about what was going on and her parents let her go through with the pictures.
Howard said that he read an article in the paper about a woman who was found after she went missing in 1984. The father apparently kept her in a basement and got her pregnant and made her give birth to 7 kids. He read through the details of that story and spent a minute on that.
Howard read an article about American Idol losing ratings and how they're trying to find out why the fans aren't tuning in now. Howard said he thinks he knows why they're losing the ratings. He said that too much of a good thing sucks. It's the same thing that happened to ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire.'' He said that they've taken this American Idol and dragged it out too much and that's why people are getting sick of it.
Howard said that he had a clip of a show where some guys accuse Howard Stern of making them lose the ratings. He played that clip where the two ''retards'', as Howard described them, put the blame on him. The female host said that Howard had ruined the show for her when the whole Sanjaya thing was going on last year. The male host said the same thing and thought that Howard and the others who were doing the Sanjaya thing were the people who ruined it for them.
Howard said that Ryan Seacrest is also getting to be a drag on that show and people are fast forwarding through a lot of the show. He suggested that they can't invest an entire week into it like they're doing now. Howard took credit for inventing that show because he used to do a similar thing with bands back when he was first starting out. He said that he's giving them this suggestion for free and hoping they take it and listen to him since they've already ripped him off.
Artie said that he doesn't know any of the names of the people on the show. He doesn't watch and he doesn't read anything about them in the news.
Robin said that she hates some of the stuff they do on that show and there are a lot of stupid things they do there. Howard said that they ruined that ''Millionaire'' show with Regis Philbin because they put it on too many nights. He said that the people who are programming TV in America aren't all that bright. Some of them get this ''genius'' title next to their names but the ratings eventually go down and they can't get the ratings to come back.
Howard said that any asshole could program a TV station. He asked who the biggest asshole is there with them. Robin suggested that Sal is. Howard said that he could give Sal a job as a TV programmer and he could do just as well as anyone else out there.
Artie said that the promos that SIRIUS ran for the replays of that show were really classless and outrageous. Howard said that they went from being protective to being exploiting the show. Howard said that he had some notes about the most popular shows on Howard TV right now and that one was the one where the staff dances.
The caller said that the Howard TV is only $10.99 a month (in some markets it may be more) and if you don't like it, they should offer to give people their money back.
The caller also brought up a picture of Gary that was in a local Philly paper that was really bad. He said that he should find another publicist if that's what they're going to get published.
Howard took some more phone calls and let some people through to talk about some of the stuff that's been going on. One guy brought up the Doug Goodstein and Mike Gange thing that happened last week. Howard said he got a lot of mail about that.
Howard started to read through some e-mail about Benjy's contact lens thing that went on last week. Howard said that Benjy must really need attention and he figures that he didn't get any attention from his father. Benjy said that he has a great relationship with his father and with his mother. Howard didn't believe it. He and Benjy went back and forth about the contact lens thing. Benjy was saying he wasn't doing that for attention but Howard insisted that he was.
The caller on the line said that Benjy has no charisma. Fred said that he does have it but he always does stuff to take that away from himself. Howard said that he likes Benjy but Robin didn't believe that. Robin said that there is no evidence that Howard likes him at all. She said that he'll put up with a lot from people that are in the studio.
Howard said that he really thinks that he likes Benjy but he's not even sure of that now. He said he doesn't like to be around him. Then he said that he really doesn't like to be around anyone so it wasn't just Benjy. Howard said that he would hang out with Benjy before he'd hang out with Sal.
Howard said that they talked about these Howard TV commercials that Mike Gange and Doug Goodstein are voicing. He read one e-mail about them and it was the one positive one he got about it. There was nothing positive in the e-mail though. He went on to read some other mail about that and some fans were telling him to shut up and let it go already. The fans were saying that they do know those guys and he should just shut up about it and let them continue to do them.
Howard said that he has to retire in 2 and a half years because he doesn't want to become more of a crotchety old man than he is already. The fans are already complaining about him being crabby so he wants to stop that before it gets worse.
Gary came in and told Howard that Mike Gange was saying on the Wrap Up Show last week that they're not going to change anything about those commercials. Howard said that Mike has a voice that is just not good for radio. He played the clip of Mike talking about not changing anything. He goofed on Mike a little bit and then talked about Doug Goodstein who he thinks has an annoying delivery with his commercials.
Howard said that he loves Doug Goodstein like a brother but he doesn't want him to do those commercials. He said that he doesn't move his lip and he thinks that it's because of the moustache he has. Doug said that Howard is crazy and his comments are retarded.
Howard said he's not sure what's going on with the moustache but Doug told him that it's a goatee, not a moustache. Howard said that Mike's delivery is awful too and he's got to stop doing those commercials.
Howard said that he hates that Mike and Doug were putting their names in those commercials they were doing. Doug said that they were just programming notes. He said that they wanted to identify themselves because they're obviously not announcers. Mike said that they're going to get some other people involved and see if they can get some people to change it up a little bit. Mike told Robin that he's going to call her at 3 in the afternoon and ask her to do some.
Howard read through some more mail about the commercials and the fans were saying that they do know who Mike is, and some know who Doug is. Howard said he's going to shut his mouth now and let them do their thing then.
Artie wrote something for Mike to read and had him read a plug for an appearance he's making next week. Mike read it but put in his name again. Artie said that he didn't write that part, Mike just put it in himself.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jason has the worst voice for radio and he's got no business being on the air. Howard said that he's not doing the promos though. The caller said that his voice goes through him like a nail. Artie said that he loves Fred's impression of Jason. Fred did a little bit of that and had Artie cracking up.
Howard read the news about Ken dying and some of the comments that his mother was making. She was accusing the jail of not caring for her son in a timely fashion. They talked about Ken for a short time and how sad it was that he was gone. He was suffering from Cystic Fibrosis and that may have contributed to his pneumonia complications.
Robin explained what the Cystic Fibrosis was since Howard wasn't familiar with it. Artie said that the worst part about being in jail is that the guards really don't give a crap what kind of shape you're in.
Howard read some mail that he got about Kenneth Keith. There were some people who thought that it was good that he was gone now. There were others who thought that Fred playing crying sounds over Steve Langford when he was reading the story was kind of a douche bag move.
Howard suggested that Artie go out to lunch with this guy but Artie said that he would rather quit. He said that he was gone again if he had to go to lunch with him. Artie went on to say that he was treated very well by the people there. He said he's going to try and not let it happen again though.
The caller said that it's funny how Teddy won't do his plugs anymore on the Wrap Up Show. Artie said that under the circumstances he can't blame the guy for not doing them. He laughed and seemed to find it kind of funny.
Artie said that he and Teddy are talking again but he promised not to talk about what they've been talking about. Then he said that he gave Teddy some severance pay because he felt bad for him. He still wants him to do a blog for him over at his web site. He said that they may still work together.
The caller asked Howard if he had any money to give away. Howard said he didn't have any and hung up on the guy but then Gary came in and said that they do have money to give away. Howard was goofing on Gary for not letting him know that he had money to give away. That led to Fred playing a Baba Booey song parody. Robin did her impression of Gary and goofed on him a little bit so Gary told her to shut up. He said that if he put up a sign about the money every day, it would just get buried.
Howard ended up talking about Hillary Clinton and the way she seems to be going for broke with her ads against Obama. He did his impression of what her commercials will probably sound like with the negative stuff about Obama.
Howard said that he wishes that his parents would have pushed him into a TV show when he was a kid. He would have loved to have been worth a billion dollars by the time he was 18. He said he could have bought a radio station of his own if he was worth that kind of money back then.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that there's one picture of Miley Cyrus showing her bra out on the web. Howard said that she's only 15 years old and he can't imagine who would want their kids doing things like that. The woman said that she may end up losing her Disney sponsorship if she keeps that up. Howard said he doesn't believe that will happen. Howard said that the kid will have a nervous breakdown if that kind of thing ruins her career.
The woman on the phone asked Howard to get Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on the show and do a debate there. Howard told her that he'd have Gary set that up as if it were that simple. He led her along to think that they'd be able to do that no problem. Then he told Gary to have Anna Nicole Smith dug up and get her reanimated too. Howard told Gary to get Albert Einstein dug up so they can sit him in the studio while the debate goes on. He said he wasn't going to stop there and wanted Gary to get Vice President Dick Cheney in there to get a chocolate bandit mask put on his face by Sal's balls.
The woman said she thinks that they really should try and get them in there. Howard said that they should get the Sybian ready to go just in case Hillary wants to ride that. Artie asked the woman to take her medication because he figures that she must be on meds.
Howard said that this is the woman who used to be a hooker that liked Benjy. He asked the two of them about what went on. Benjy said that she was willing to come back to his apartment but she said that wasn't true.
Benjy said that he was being very nice to her. He said that she was very willing to come home with him but she denied that. Benjy wanted her to come into the studio but she didn't want to come in. The woman, Daphne, said that she couldn't believe that he was talking about this. Benjy said that he wasn't attracted to her but some guys would find her attractive. Benjy said that he doesn't find her particularly attractive.
Benjy said that he didn't invite her to his apartment but she was willing to go. He told her to come into the studio but she had no desire to do that. She said that Benjy was classless in many ways. She said that she wanted to find out more about Benjy because he is kind of a curious kind of guy. Howard told her that she's probably better off without him. She said that she loves him on the show but she's not into him that much.
Howard asked Daphne how much she used to get for sex when she was charging people. She said that she didn't want to say when he asked the question the way he did. Howard asked her how much she charges for her time. She said that it's $400 an hour right now. Artie laughed at that.
Benjy said he thinks that Daphne could be really attractive if she lost about 20 pounds. She said that she thinks that she needs to lose between 10 and 20. They went back and forth for a couple of minutes before Howard said he had to get out of that conversation. He let Daphne go a short time later and then went to commercial break.
Colin was having problems hearing Howard so he said that his phone was awful. It was his cell phone. He said that he wanted to make sure that he had a commitment from Eric the Midget to do this Taxi Driver remake. Howard said that Eric did call in last week and he does want to do the movie.
Colin said that he'll have a script for the movie done by the end of next week. Howard asked if Colin is going to be able to put Eric in the movie even though he's in the wheelchair. Howard told Colin that they're in and he's got to direct it too. He told Colin to get off the awful phone and get back to work.
Howard thinks that Eric could be great in the part if he takes direction from Colin. He said that if he becomes a belligerent little fuck, it's not going to work. Howard said the good thing is that Colin's life has meaning again.
Howard had Eric on the phone so he gave him the good news. He told him that they'll get him the script as soon as Colin has it done. Eric asked if he has his contact information. Artie said that he's just going to go to California and yell out ''Hey jerk off!''
Howard said that if Eric can't take direction and doesn't listen to Colin's suggestions, this isn't going to work. He said that Eric might need that moustache and goatee in the movie. Eric wasn't sure if he was going to shave it off or not.
Artie told Eric to do some lines from the movie but Eric said he wanted to do something else. Eric did one of the lines but he said that wasn't his read for the movie. He was just telling Artie that he wanted to do ''Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?'' He read the line as if he were acting out the scene and Howard liked it. Robin didn't like the way he did it. She did it herself and told Eric that's the way he should have done it.
Robin said that he has to be able to take direction. Eric said that he can take direction. Howard asked him to do it a little different. Eric tried it again but Fred didn't think that he was ready to go. Fred asked Eric what he's going to do to prepare for this role. Eric wasn't sure. Fred told him that Robert De Niro drove a cab and studied mental illness for a long time before he played the part.
Howard told Eric to prove everyone wrong and show everyone that he can do this. Eric said that he can do it and he has no problem taking direction from Colin. He said that if he has to, he'll even change his physical appearance. He said that he might even do the mohawk look but he said he would do it with a skull cap. Howard said that might be kind of funny but the other guys thought that he was going to ruin it by not getting a real mohawk.
Howard said he thinks that Eric is going to surprise some of them with his acting abilities. Robin said that she's looking forward to being disappointed. Howard told Eric that they're working on the movie and this was a good thing for him. He said that it's not going to be easy.
Fred asked Eric if he knows about being lonely like the character has to know. Eric didn't really have an answer for him. Howard went through the part and talked to him about what the character is like. Robin told Eric he's going to have to draw on his experiences with loneliness to play this part.
Howard read some lines from the movie and said he can't wait for Eric to do some of those lines. He said he's going to send him some of the lines to rehearse and they read on the air.
Artie said that they have to get some hot chick in the movie for Eric. Howard asked him if he would rather work with Diana Degarmo or Katherine McPhee. Eric said that he would rather work with Diana over Katherine. Howard told Gary to call Diana, after he calls Hillary and Obama, and get her on the show.
Artie said that he thinks that Colin should be in the movie with Eric. Howard told Eric to go study his lines and then let him go. Howard said that he read that De Niro used a skull cap in that movie so Eric might be able to get away with it.
Howard said that he hadn't read the comic book in years so he didn't remember all of the details of the character. He said that the old Iron Man comics made him look like the Tin Man from the Wizard Of Oz but they eventually made him look cooler.
Howard said that the new movie looks like it was done seriously but there is something that's burning him up. He said he'd dying to see the movie but Beth is going to see it tonight, without him. He said that he's the one who should be going to see it and it's ridiculous that she's going without him. He said that she even said that she probably won't like the movie. He can't go because it's too late for him.
Howard heard that Steve the Intern had seen the movie and he wondered why he didn't have a screener for himself. Gary said that they're keeping the movie under wraps and they're not sending out screeners. He said that Tracy was supposed to be working on a screening for him too but he's not sure what went on there.
Steve the Intern came in and said that he did get to see the movie. Howard seemed to be upset with that and said that he should see it before anyone else there. He asked Steve what he thought of the movie. Steve said that Downey is great in the part and the movie was incredible. He said that Downey was great and there were no boring parts in the movie at all. He said that the movie was awesome.
Steve said that there was a lot of terrorists and war mongering going on in the movie and that's who the villains were in the movie. He didn't name anyone specifically.
Steve said that he was going to a concert on Friday and he heard about this screening that was going on so he managed to sneak into that. He said that everyone should go out and see it because it was so good. Howard demanded that he take a cock to the face for seeing the movie before him. He said that kid is enjoying his life. He said that his interns get to see all kinds of great stuff there. Howard said his interns are partying like rock stars there.
Ralph called in and told Howard that he can't believe that Gwyneth Paltrow is in the Iron Man movie. That led to Howard and Ralph talking about some stuff they were watching over the weekend. They were watching Spider-Man cartoons and stuff like that. Howard said that he knew there was something wrong with that but Ralph liked that he still enjoys cartoons.
Howard said that Ralph was over to help him look for a suit for his wedding. He said he's kind of excited about getting married to Beth but not so much the wedding. He said that he doesn't think that things are really going to change for them but it will be nice to be married.
Howard predicts that Robin will get married to Jim Florentine in the next year. Robin told him he was nuts and made it sound like that would never happen. Howard asked her where she was this weekend. She said that she was at her house. She denied being at his show this weekend but then said that she was at his show on Thursday night.
Howard heard that Jim and Robin were at a table with Tabitha Stevens for 3 hours. Robin said that she just happened to be in town and they went out for drinks. Howard said Robin is doing shit that she never used to do. She's going to comedy shows and hanging out with porn stars. Howard said that he thinks that Robin would marry Jim if he asked her. Robin said that the answer would be no.
Howard asked if Jim has a special name for Robin. She said that he doesn't as far as she knows. She said that she calls him Jim and he calls her Robin.
Howard asked Robin if she's in love with Jim. She wasn't answering that. she said that she does care about him but she wasn't going to answer his questions anymore. She goofed on him for having watched cartoons on Saturday morning. That all led to the guys goofing on Robin doing their Ham Hands Bill parody thing. Fred also played the call that Bill made to a flower shop where he asked them to write a note to Robin with some flowers.
A caller said that the more something is true, the more Robin deflects. He said that he thinks that she's getting way too defensive about this stuff. Robin said that she's simply saying that she never got to ask Howard about what was going on with Beth so she shouldn't have to tell Howard what she's feeling with Jim. Howard said that his situation was much different than her's is.
Howard and Robin went back and forth arguing about all of that and Howard thought it was kind of crazy to act the way she was. Howard said that he's learned that Robin has been seeing Jim for 9 months now. He said that in 9 months he admitted to going out with Beth. Robin said that's not the case and he didn't do that 9 months into his relationship.
Howard didn't understand this so he asked Artie and Fred what they thought. Fred said that he thinks that she's being protective of the relationship. He said that maybe they have some kind of understanding and this doesn't bother Jim at all. Howard said that he'd feel like an asshole if he were Jim and Robin wasn't saying that she loves him.
Howard said there's something strange going on with this relationship. Ralph called in and said that Robin is doing this comparison to Jim with Howard and Beth and that's just odd. He also brought up what she said on The View about dating Jim. Robin was saying that she had lost an extra 10 pounds because of the younger man that she was dating. Howard said that's pretty intimate to talk about on that show.
Howard said that Robin is making a big deal out of this and she really shouldn't be doing that. Robin said that Howard is the one being weird about it. Howard said that this is like the Heidi Klum and Seal story. He said that she was out of the news until she had a baby with this guy Seal. Now she's all over the news with that black baby of hers. He said that Mr. X was never in the news and Robin never showed any pictures of him on the air.
Lisa asked Robin if Jim had ever said he loved Robin. Robin said it was none of her business. Ralph asked why that would be so weird to talk about. Howard said that this really is weird. He said that he and Ralph were talking about the dress that Robin wore on The View and argued about that. Howard didn't like it but Ralph did. Howard said he had to fire Ralph for that because he doesn't like his taste now.
Howard said that Howard TV had a clip of Robin and Jim hugging after his interview recently. They all watched that and told Robin that she should embrace the love. Howard asked her if she's dating Jim and if he's her boyfriend. She said that he is her boyfriend, yes.
Howard said that Robin must love Jim because if she didn't, she wouldn't be with him this long. Robin said that she's not the same kind of person that Howard is. She said that he's taking liberties with her that she couldn't take with him.
Howard told Robin to think about this and wonder if she's being a little silly about this. Robin quickly said ''no.'' Howard told her to think again and not answer right away. Robin kept answering immediately. Howard had Fred play some music so Robin could think for a short time. Robin then came back and said ''no'' again. Howard told her to really take time and think about it again and tell him if she was being silly about this whole thing. Robin kept saying the same thing over and over though.
Artie talked about how he came out with his love for Dana and how it just kind of came out on the air. He said that he didn't know that Robin considered Jim her boyfriend so what she's doing now is really kind of weird. Robin said that she wasn't going to listen to a guy who chases guys out into the hall.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin should just admit that she loves the guy because this is really just irritating to the audience. Robin said she wasn't the one who brought it up. Howard said he kind of gets that this might be a little awkward for her but it's not that big of a deal to admit she loves the guy.
Howard said that he still thinks that Robin will be married in a year. He told her to just admit to loving someone, without mentioning any names, but she didn't do that either. Robin seemed like she was about to say something but cut herself off.
Howard and Artie were asking questions and asking her to take her time thinking of her answers. Fred would play the ''thinking music'' for her and let it play through to the end before Howard would get the answer from her. Robin said that she's been dating Jim seriously for a few months now.
Howard took a call from Dominic Barbara who asked Robin about an artist there at the charity event they went to and brought up something that didn't have any thing to do with the conversation so Howard hung up on him. Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Robin should be professing her love for Jim today. Howard figured that Robin and Jim were doing this because it's like a game for them. Howard said that if that's what's going on then maybe she should keep it quiet.
Robin said that she keeps her personal life personal. Artie asked ''You're allowed to do that here?'' Mariann was going on about the picture of Robin and Jim that was shown on ''The View.'' Mariann wanted them to get Jim on the phone but Howard said he wasn't going to do that. This was between him and Robin.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that she would tell Jim that she loves him. She asked Robin what her problem is. Robin said she doesn't have a problem.
Howard asked Lisa finish up her news but Robin said that they were talking about Howard's wedding. Fred interrupted and asked Robin how many times she thinks about Jim every day. Robin said that was none of their business. She wasn't going to answer it but Fred thought it was a simple question and she should be able to answer it. Fred said that his wife pops into his mind many times per day. Howard said the same thing happens to him with Beth too.
Howard said that he was almost moved to tears by Fred's comments. He said that he can't believe that Robin can't talk about how many times Jim pops into her head. Fred asked Robin if she's finding that she doesn't hang out with her friends as often as she used to. Robin said she's not a hanger out type of person.
Howard was doing an impression of the guy that Lisa was talking about and threw in a mention of Ron O'Brien the radio guy. Robin told Howard that he had just died over the weekend. Howard didn't know that and said that it was like some kind of psychic thing that happened there. Howard asked how old the guy was. Lisa said that he was like 56 or so. Howard asked where he was working. Lisa gave him some details and said that he was working down in Philly.
Howard said that Ron was a really good guy. He did a little bit of an impression of him and talked about what a good guy he was. Howard said he swears he didn't know the guy died and that just came out of nowhere. He said that was very strange that it came out like that.
Howard asked Robin if Ron died lonely or if he left anyone behind. Robin said that the article didn't say. She said that he returned to Philly in 1996. Gary said that they actually had a clip of Ron O'Brien filling in for Howard back at WNBC. They had pulled it for they had pulled it for a Friday sow one time. Howard played the clip and talked about Ron for a few more minutes. He played a couple of clips of him and had some fun doing his impression of the guy.
Howard played some of the awful music that they used to play at WNBC. He said that he got yelled at for goofing on that music back then. He played more clips and talked about what a great guy Ron was. He said that everyone is dying now. Ron had died of pneumonia over the weekend.
Howard said that Ron made a great living in radio and no one even knew what he looked like. He said that he made some good money doing what he did too. Howard said he was a great announcer. Robin read an article about Ron and talked about how he could introduce a song for the 4,000th time and still talk it up as if he were excited about it.
Howard said that he loved Ron. He did his tribute to him introducing songs himself as if he were Ron. He said that guy really did make it sound exciting even when he was introducing a Eddie Rabbit song. Robin read through more of the article she had about Ron and read more stuff about what he was interested in.
Howard was doing his impression and flailing his arms around according to Lisa. Howard said that it was a tough job to do that stuff. He said that he had to act like Crazy Eddie when he did the impression. He introduced a couple more songs and Robin told him that if he introduced songs like that at NBC he would have had Pig Virus on his ass.
Howard said that he had this guy Brian Battles on the phone. Brian worked with him at NBC and he brought him in just to laugh in the studio. Howard said that this guy is the guy who put his penis on the table while he was reading a commercial one day. He said that he saw it there and hit it with a book. He said he wasn't thinking and just whacked it like a fly.
Ralph called in and reminded Howard about some other stuff they did at WNBC when they were there. He had Howard talking about the time he and Fred were doing gay guys on the air after they asked him to do characters on the air. Howard said that they wanted him to be like Imus so bad and that's why they asked him to do characters.
Howard said that he didn't really do characters so he had to make some stuff up. That led to Artie talking about how he had to write down the characters that he did when he started out there. He said that they wanted him to do that because they own any characters they created for the show.
Howard said that the operator at NBC got so many calls over there that she couldn't handle it. He said that's the kind of reaction his show got when he was there. Howard talked about how lucky he was that they didn't fire him sooner than they did at NBC. He said that if they had fired him after one day, that would have ended his career. He said he really doesn't have any fun memories about that stuff.
Artie talked about how rough Howard had it when he was starting out. He thinks that Howard is lucky he went through that when he was young. He thinks that Miley Cyrus chick is going to have that kind of stuff going on the older she gets.
Ronnie came in and said that he got his voice back but that was really embarrassing for him. He said that he didn't come down with anything. He said his voice just went away that morning. He said he was trying to drink tea and taking all kinds of stuff trying to get rid of it.
Howard played another clip where Ronnie came out on stage and wasn't able to speak. Howard said that he'd have him on the air more often if he sounded like that all the time. Artie thought he sounded like Ham Hands Bill. Ronnie thought he was sounding like Mark the Bagger.
Ronnie said that he was drinking brandy to try and get over the voice thing. He said that's what they told him to drink but it wasn't working. Howard played a few more clips and goofed on Ronnie a bit about sounding like Mark the Bagger. Ronnie introduced Gary who went up and said that it seemed that Ronnie didn't have much longer to live. Howard said that both Ronnie and Gary were the two biggest bores with nothing to say.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves when he does the WNBC DJ impression. He said he loved when he did the Ryan Seacrest impression and goofed on him. Howard said that Ryan is a throwback to the shit that they used to do on radio. He said that Tom Bergeron is one of those guys who is on a ton of shows and the typical announcer type.
Howard goofed on Ryan Seacrest a little more and made fun of the way he introduces American Idol. the caller said that he heard Mark McGrath on Bubba's show talking about how nice of a guy Ryan really is. Howard said that of course he's a nice guy, he's got a perfect life. Howard said that if he knew that Mark was going to talk about that the other day, he would have stayed on the phone with Bubba and filibustered to keep him from talking about that.
Howard said that he went out with his movie wife, Mary McCormack, the other night and she's still looking good. He said that she wants him to come out to see her in this play she's in but he hates plays. He said that he doesn't want to go see it because he always hates them. He said that he usually has no idea what the hell is going on.
Robin said that she went to see a play, Top Girls, and there were some women there who were complaining that they couldn't understand what Marissa Tomei was saying during the play.
Howard said that he really doesn't want to go to the play but then he's thinking that maybe he should. He said that he has to get up early the next morning.
Robin said that she was out at her gym recently and Tay Diggs was working out next to her. She said that her trainer was complaining about how bad Rent was and he didn't know that Tay Diggs was in the play and he was complaining about it right in front of him.
Robin said that she loved the play ''Rent'' but the guys were talking about how awful they thought it was. Gary came in and said that the song that Fred was playing from ''Rent'' was sped up a lot and it drags out much longer in the play.
Howard said that someone sent him a CD of remade songs from the 70s. He played a couple of the songs and said that the DJs who remix them are so proud of themselves for doing these things. They take the old songs and turn them into dance songs. Artie said that the beat of the songs sounds just like any club you walk into. Howard said that he feels that he has to get banged in the ass when he hears music like that.
Howard said that he had to go to break but Gary had come in so they ended up talking more about Big Ron O'Brien. He had also mentioned that he liked ''Rent'' so they talked to him about that. Gary aid that he never did cry at that play. He said that there are some things that he will cry over but it wasn't that. Then Fred played this song that makes Gary cry. Gary ended up walking out of the studio crying over that song. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard said that they're still looking for the Hottest Chick With the Worst Scar for a contest they're running. He got in a plug for the contest and the sponsor.
Howard said he was reading about this Wonderlic test that they give to college football players to find out how smart they are. He said that the best score you can get is a 50. There was a story about how this one guy had gotten a score of 6 on that Wonderlic test. Howard said that they actually have the test so they should give it to Sal. Howard said that he'd probably get a 2 himself because the math questions were throwing him off.
Howard said that Sal was taking the test so he didn't want to say what the answers were. There were 15 questions and Sal had 5 minutes to answer them. Gary said that Sal's head was smoking trying to answer the questions. They had some audio of Sal talking to himself in the office trying to figure out the answers on the test. Howard said that he thinks that Sal will get very few right on that test.
Gary said that the average score of a non-football player taking the test is a 28. Howard read that Dan Marino got a 16 on the test.
Howard had more audio of Sal taking the test and he was nearly complete. Sal was reading the questions out loud and trying to figure out what the answers were. He was reading everything out loud. Gary said that he only had like 90 seconds left. Howard told him to take it away after the time is up. He wanted accuracy on this test.
Howard listened in a little more as Sal was trying to figure that stuff out. Gary pointed out that Sal used to take care of people's money as an actual stockbroker. That led to Artie talking about a clip they had played during the Stuttering John special where Sal had screwed John over with some stock or something.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up some other football player names for this test. Howard interrupted and asked Gary if Sal finished in time. Gary said that he didn't finish and he was kind of dejected about the fact that he didn't finish.
Howard said that they sent Gary Garver out to do some interviews at a Star Trek convention. He said the best thing to ask is ''Who are you?'' at these events. Garver asked this guy Max Grodenchik who he was and the guy refused to do an interview with him. Howard played that clip where the guy turned Gary away and asked why he would ask him who he was and want to do an interview. Garver eventually gave up on trying to get the interview.
Howard had another one with this guy Lawrence Montaigne who he had never heard of. Garver asked him his name and what made him famous. The guy said he was Donald Duck and did his Donald Duck impression for him. The guy kept doing his Donald Duck impression. Garver asked him who his least favorite person was to work with but the guy refused to give him an answer. The guy said that he knows he's a dull interview and told Garver that he's wasting his time asking him all of these questions. He did answer that he had gotten laid that morning.
Howard heard that Gary was having a problem grading Sal's test. He said he thinks that they have the answer now. Howard had him come in to give the results. Howard figured that Sal got a 6 on the test. Gary said that Sal was able to answer just the first 12 of the 15. He said that he didn't answer them all correctly.
Howard said that he thinks that Sal got 3 of the 15 right. Artie said 5, Fred said 2 and Robin said 6. Gary said that Sal is about a 15 on the test results. He said they give the results on a page in the test so Howard read through that and they say that someone with a 15 is basically equivalent to an ''unskilled worker'' but he's not a moron like someone under a 14 would be rated.
Howard said that Sal and Richard took some audio of Joe Frazier from the other day and used that to call an auto body shop. They took Joe talking about his car accident and had him talking to this auto body guy about his accident. The guy on the phone had no idea what he was saying to him. The guy stayed on the line for quite a while talking to the clips of Joe.
A caller told Howard that their math was off with the math for the test. He said that if they gave 2.5 points for each correct question, the total would come to 37.5. He said that if the test was a 50 point test, their math was off. Howard said he didn't care, he's just disappointed that Sal isn't a moron.
Steve mentioned that Robin's book was out 13 years ago this week. He also mentioned that John the Stutterer is on Howard 101 tonight with his show Straight Talk. Greg Fitzsimmons is on at midnight on Howard 101.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview and mentioned the stuff they were going to try and cover today. He mentioned the Robin and Jim story and that led to Robin and Howard talking about that a little more. Howard wanted to hear Robin say that she's in love with Jim but she's not going to do that. She said that if she ever wants to say that on the air, he'll be the first to know. She wanted to know who is telling him about all of the stuff she's up to with Jim. Howard said he got an e-mail and that was it. He joked that it was from Jim's blog.
Howard said he doesn't think that Robin laughs that hard when she's out with the girls. She said that they just had one of those dinners this weekend. She said that she had Sheila, Lisa and Marcie over and also had this guy Elvis there giving them massages.
Howard said that sounds like some weekend. He asked if they pay for their own massages. Robin said that they do. Howard wondered if Annemarie pays for her own. Robin said that she couldn't make it this weekend but she would pay for her own if she was around. Howard asked if Robin would talk about loving Jim in front of these chicks. Robin just laughed.
Ralph asked Robin if this guy Elvis is the guy who gives out happy endings in the massages. Robin told him he was being ridiculous and didn't know what he was talking about. Fred went into his Jim Florentine impression again and had some fun talking about how things are going with her. He said that she's been texting him lately and read some of those texts. One of them was about how she loves the smell of his balls.
Robin got back to her news and read some more stories. She had one about the guy who was abusing his daughter for the past 24 years.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why the FCC is taking so long to make this merger decision. Howard sarcastically said that it must be a really hard decision to make and that's why they're taking so long to make it. He said that if they keep taking their time, both companies are going to go out of business. He said that the oil companies can get their mergers in record time but this one is taking forever. He seemed annoyed by that and hung up on the guy.
Howard tried to take a phone call but the guy was taking forever to get it out. He said that he found a ton of Channel 9 shows up in his attic and spent hours watching them. Howard said that they'll eventually realize how important those shows were.
The caller said that Howard saved his life too. Howard wasn't sure he wanted to hear about that but Artie did. The guy said that he was going to kill himself back when he was about 18. He started to go through the story but Howard cut him off and figured out the rest of the story himself. The guy said that he was going to postpone the suicide for 24 hours after hearing Howard goofing on some guys on the show and he changed his mind.
Howard said that ironically there was a guy on a bridge somewhere thinking about jumping and he decided to go through with it because of that caller. He went to break after that, right around 10:05am.
After the break they came back and Robin talked about Carmen Electra getting engaged again. She's engaged to Rob Patterson from the band Korn. Howard said that she always seems to make good decisions on who to marry so this one should work out just fine. Robin read a story about Jennifer Aniston, a story about Oprah Winfrey having Tina Turner and Cher on her show. Robin said that she wants to see how Cher is looking these days.
Howard read a note from Dan the Song Parody Man who said that a friend of his had gone down to Nicaragua and was able to pull in the SIRIUS signal down there. Howard said that there was also a report about some Arbitron ratings where they say that his channel is the most listened to on satellite radio.
Robin read a story about President Bush doing this dinner where he acts like he's a comedian. She had some audio clips from that event and had Howard playing those. Howard said he gets angry whenever he sees the President having fun like that while this war is going on over in Iraq. Robin read through some other political news as well.
Robin read a story about a shark attack out off the coast of San Diego. One guy was killed by the shark. She had some audio clips of people talking about the guy who was killed. Howard said he doesn't even go in the ocean anymore. He said he doesn't want to be shark food.
Robin read a story about tonight's Deal or No Deal where they're going to have a Star Wars theme. Howard said he's going to be sure to miss that one. He said that's how you ruin a show.
Robin read a story about the Iron Man movie and about the movie Baby Mama being the number one movie this weekend. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later, around 10:30am.
Jon played a clip from the show where Howard was trying to get some information out of Robin and talking about how sad it was that she couldn't declare that love.
Jon and Gary talked about Robin and Jim a little more and then went to the phones. The first caller said that he thinks that they overplay the Sal being stupid and racist thing. He said that Sal is just being honest on the air. He said that Gary should take the test as well. Gary said that he will take any test that they give him and he knows that he'll outscore Sal in anything.
The caller said that there is no history there with him as far as a test goes so he's not sure. Gary said that he's heard him speak on the air so he should have some idea how he'd do compared to Sal.
Sal came in so Jon told him what was going on. He asked Sal if he thinks that he could beat Gary on a test. Sal said he's not sure but he doesn't care. He doesn't want to do that against him. Gary said that Sal doesn't seem to care about it so he wouldn't do that to him.
Gary said he saw that the guys in the Howard TV office were taking the Wonderlic test. He wondered how they did. One of the Howard TV guys said that Brian Phelan did the best out of all of them. He said that Scott DePace screwed up the question about what month the 9th month of the year is.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robin claims that she's doing a character on the air so maybe they should ask her what her character thinks about her relationship with Jim. Gary and Jon thought that was a good idea.
The caller asked Jon and Gary why they kiss Syrus' ass so much on the show because he's been banned from a couple of other shows like the Miserable Men and Bubba the Love Sponge show. Jon and Gary said that he asks some good questions when he calls their show so that's why they let him on.
Jon took another call from a guy who wanted the guys to ask Robin if she and Jim ''make love'' or just ''screw'' when they're having sex.
A caller asked about the test that Sal took and why they were only giving 2.5 points per question. Jon said that it was based on a 20 question test and Sal took the 15 question test. Sal was arguing that the test was timed but the timing wasn't something they should have brought into the test. He said that he didn't have time to answer the rest of the questions.
Sal said that the Wright Brothers weren't given 5 minutes to invent the airplane. He said that he thinks he should have been given more time to answer the questions. Sal was arguing that test didn't really measure intelligence if it was based on time.
Jason came in and said that the guys who took the test in the back all had high scores and they were all able to answer the 15 questions. Sal said that he's smart enough to work for the Howard Stern show and that's all that matters. Gary pointed out that they don't give a test there though. That led to the guys talking to Sal about the SAT tests and trying to find out if he took them. Sal said he didn't remember taking them.
Jason said that they gave KC an intelligence test one time and he came in pretty low. Gary said that he was like a functional retard but then said that he was just kidding.
Gary asked Sal if he thinks that he's smarter than these tests show he is and maybe he's just a bad test taker. Sal said that is the case and he does think that he's smarter than they think he is. Jason asked him where his intelligence shows up though because he comes off as kind of dumb on the air and when he takes tests. Sal wondered what he was trying to say there. They kind of dropped it after that.
The guys said that Artie is the one who is gaining weight. Gary asked the caller where he was going with that. The caller said something about Artie gaining weight, maybe because of the show. The guys talked about that for a short time and said that it could have to do with the hours they have to work.
Sal was goofing on Jason's weight gain so Jason pointed out that Sal has a belly too. Sal said that he has put on about 20 pounds. Gary asked him why he has to wear the tight white t-shirt. Sal said that he wears that kind of as a girdle. He said he sometimes takes his dress shirt off and stays in the t-shirt.
Ronnie told Sal that he shouldn't be walking around in his underwear at work. He said that sometimes he wears a sweatshirt when he goes to the bathroom too. He said that's really weird. Sal said he does that when he gets cold there.
Ronnie's voice was back to almost normal now so Jon asked him about that. Ronnie said that it had gotten really bad on Thursday and he wasn't able to speak at all.
A caller told the guys that they really keep him alive doing what they do. He said that he has throat cancer and he's got to smoke weed so he can eat and stuff while he's on the chemo. Gary thought that smoking was a bad idea if he got throat cancer from smoking cigarettes. The guy said that smoking weed isn't the same thing and there's nothing linking weed smoking to cancer. They spent a little longer with him before letting him go.
A caller asked if it gets annoying when they talk to people on the air like they were doing with Robin this morning. Gary said that it's not boring to him when it's not him on the chopping block. He said that he enjoys it when it's someone else in there.
Sal said that when Howard puts him down, he looks at it like tough love. He said he knows that Howard is just trying to help him in some way. Sal also had some thoughts on Robin and Jim. He said that he thinks that Robin is in love with the guy but she just won't talk about it on the air.
That eventually led to Sal talking about how he only gave Robin 5 bucks for her charity because that's in proportion to what he can afford. He said that he doesn't like these people who buy their way into being a celebrity.
Sal said that he doesn't cut big $10,000 checks to buy his way into a friendship like some people have. He said that there are two types of people in the entertainment business. Some are talented, the others buy their way in. Gary said he wasn't sure who he was taking digs at with those comments. Sal said that most of th people there didn't care about Robin's charity and they just wanted bragging rights to be able to say they gave money and got to sit down with Robin. He said that it's all horse shit and real charity is done quietly and humbly and that's the way Howard does it from what he's heard. Sal said he hopes that maybe someone was able to buy a fly swatter for the kids in Eritrea.
Jon took a call from a guy who went off on Gary for being so stupid. He was calling him names and pointing out that he's the first one to go off on people about the same things he has wrong with him. They spent a short time talking about Sal's Series 7 test that he had to take to become a stockbroker. Sal claimed that he got an 86 on his test and a 70 was passing.
A caller asked Sal about a prank call that he made and what it was like getting consent from the guy that have to get before they can air it. Sal said that they tell these people that they're doing a Candid Camera type of show and their call was the funniest. They'll actually clap for the people when they tell them this information.
The caller told the guys that Artie wasn't that familiar about the Taxi Driver movie because he got some of his lines wrong and had some other info about it wrong as well. The caller also asked Gary about the old channel 9 shows when he'd dress up in monkey suits and stuff. He wondered if Gary is above that now. Gary said that he's not sure if he's above it but he won't do it anymore.
Another caller said that he's annoyed by Gary saying that he's so smart on the show when he's really not. He said that he's really not smart but he continues to say he is. Gary said that he just claims that he's smarter than Sal. Gary asked the guy if he thinks that he could run the show if he wasn't that smart. The caller thinks that anyone could run the show after 25 years of trial and error.
Gary didn't seem to be phased by the guy's comments. The guy was going on and on insulting Gary but Gary told him that he was really boring. He told him to stop being so verbose. The guy said he wasn't done yet and continued to go on and on telling Gary what he should do to become smarter.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that caller was horrible. She went on to talk about the Robin and Jim thing and said that maybe Jim hasn't said that ''love'' word yet and Robin is waiting for him to say it before she'll say it. She had some theories on all of that and Sal thinks that they should ask Robin about that tomorrow.
A caller asked Gary if he thinks that the show will be gone when they retire. Gary said that he thinks that when they're gone, they're gone. The caller wasn't sure if they were going to continue to play the replays. He said that he's going to miss them when they leave and it's going to be very odd when they do leave. Gary said that he has no plans at this time.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Sal about his fight with Artie and what happened after. Sal said that they got a lot of stuff off their chests and they're getting along very well at this point. He said that Artie gave him tickets to a baseball game so his kids can experience something that they don't usually get to see.
Gary said that Sal will hide behind the cage there at the game so he doesn't have to throw the ball. Last week he had a ball roll to him when he was filming the kids and when he threw it back, he hit the kid in the neck with the ball. He said that he felt really bad about that but he had thrown it really easy to him. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Gary said that he just wants Richard to tell him what it is he has to play for him. Sal said that Richard will leave him IMs and stuff in the morning. Gary said that he doesn't do that all the time though.
Gary said he wasn't attacking Richard's work, he was just saying that he needs to know about the stuff they want to play. Sal said he thinks that Richard handles all of that delicately and that's why he does things the way he does.
Jon took a call from a guy who pointed out that Sal had said something earlier about a guy getting his clit cut off. Sal said he made a mistake and he had gotten him there.
Jon asked Gary about how he ran out of the studio earlier when Fred played that song that makes him cry. Gary said that he's not sure why it hits him the way it does. Sal said that Gary started to cry as soon as the song came on and it was like his tears just turned on immediately.
The guys talked about the Broadway plays and musicals that they were discussing during Howard's show. Will was saying that every musical is gay to him. He said that he's been to some shows and they've all been pretty bad. He said he will try them but they usually prove him right.
Gary said that he likes that there are some Jewish girls out there who will drop their standards to date people on J-Date and meet only Jewish guys.
Jon asked Benjy if he's ever gotten into a relationship where religion broke them up. Gary said that happened to him one time. He said that this girl just stopped calling him at one point and it was because she was Jewish and she didn't think their relationship was going anywhere.
Benjy said that he thinks that some people have a racial thing in their dating lives and some have religious issues. Benjy said that when it's a non-Jewish person who does that he finds it ridiculous.
Jon and Gary brought up the Sonos giveaway they're doing. They went through the details of that and said that you can find out more at SIRIUS.com. The contest ends on May 5th at Noon.
A caller asked when they're going to do another Roast on the show. Gary said that they got to a point where they really need to have the right person to roast. He said that they were thinking about roasting Robin but it's not quite right yet. Gary said that he's hoping that things will be right eventually. He said that they have to wait until Robin and Jim are in the right spot in their relationship. Sal defended Bob Levy because the caller had called him an idiot. Gary said that Bob is very good at doing the roasts.
The guys ended up talking about American Idol for a short time. They were talking about how bad the show has been this season since Howard had discussed it earlier.
The caller who went off on Gary earlier called back in again to correct Gary about something that he said about him being jobless. Gary asked the guy what he does for a living. He said he runs two technology companies and runs the engineering departments. He said that he's the Vice President. Gary said that the President usually runs the company. The caller, Christopher, said that he runs the company BAAP Technologies. He said he's not afraid to say where he works.
Christopher was saying that Gary walks around acting like he's really smart when he's not. He said that Fred doesn't do that. Gary accused this guy of doing the same thing that he's accusing him of doing.
Jon took a call from Ralph who said that guy does come off as an asshole. Sal asked Ralph about dealing with a black guy on the subway one day but it didn't really go anywhere.
Ralph guy the guys back on American Idol and talked about that a little more. He said he hasn't been watching the show much lately. Gary said that he can usually watch the show in 11 minutes with his TiVo. He said he just listens to a little bit of it and fast forwards through the rest of it.
The guys talked about the show for a few minutes and Shuli said that he feels like he's on another planet when they start talking about this shit. Ralph went off on him and tried to find out what he watches while he's smoking pot and hiding in a corner somewhere. Shuli said he'll watch shows where people win, not where they show the losers.
Jon asked Ralph if he and Howard are back to normal after Howard went off on him last week. Ralph said that things are fine. He said there was some confusion there. He also talked about watching the Spider-Man cartoons with Howard and how they were really trying to work so he asked him to turn it off.
Ralph was talking about Robin's wackiness and how she talked about going to see Rent like 20 times and crying each time she went. He said that's crazy talk. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about how Jackie Martling was going to be stopping by today. Robin asked ''Jackie who?'' when Howard told her he was coming in.
Howard went to the phones a short time later and took a call from a guy who brought up his wedding and asked if Beth is going to become Beth Stern. Howard said that she is going to take his last name but he had no say in that. She decided to take it instead of going by Beth Ostrosky-Stern.
Howard said that there is no shame in being Beth Stern and he told her he'd be proud of her taking his name. He said that he's pretty sure she's going to be Beth Stern but he can't say that for sure. He said that everyone seems to ignore the things he wants.
Howard said that he sees that a lot of people don't see things the way he does even though it's the right way in his opinion. He said that his way is often the only way.
Howard said that Tim Sabean taught him something when they moved there. He said that he had a lot of ideas when he got there and got very frantic trying to make all of the things happen that he wanted to happen. He wanted to show people how great the service is. He said that he told Tim he wanted him to make all of this stuff happen immediately but Tim told him to calm down and just let it happen in an organized way.
Howard said Tim wanted to organize things and make it all work. He said that Tim did a spectacular job and now the two channels are the most listened to on SIRIUS and Tim is a great programmer. He said that Tim showed him that his way was the right way. Howard's way was probably not the right way. Howard said that Tim is a very hard worker and that's the kind of guy he needs working there.
Howard said that Beth was getting all dolled up to go out yesterday and he told her he really doesn't like when she goes out without him. He said that he knows that guys are going to be hitting on her and he wanted to see the movie too. She told him she'd be home by about 10 but she didn't actually get home until midnight. He said that she may be keeping it from him that she's going to the after party but he'd be fine with that if she wanted to go.
Artie told Howard that he's now getting mad at things that he's assuming. Artie laughed his ass off a few seconds later saying that the look he got from Howard was hilarious. Howard said that was a man look that he gave Artie. He told him to stay out of that.
Howard said that Beth looked really good last night while he had to stay home so he can be healthy for his job in the morning. He said that he gets resentful when that goes on because he has to make money. He said that he heard that the party was star studded too so he figured that she was being hit on all night. She didn't talk to him about that though.
Howard said that Beth is always available for when he goes out to things like that so he can't go out on his own. He said that he's going to start going to strip clubs when she goes away. Robin asked if he's really going to do that. Howard said ''probably not...'' and Artie said that there are a lot of guys there right now who are wondering when they're going to a strip club.
Howard said that Beth was dressed up like she was going to meet the President last night. He said he's upset that he didn't get to see the movie but Beth was saying that there was a screening set up for him today according to Jon Favreau. He knows nothing about it and now he's going to boycott the movie.
Howard said that he wants everyone in his life to be doing the stuff he wants to do and he doesn't want they doing anything else. He said that's a major part of his therapy and he has to get over that and look inside of himself to see why he's tantruming about this stuff.
Howard said that if he had gone to the movie, they wouldn't have gone to the after party and he would have ruined Beth's night. He said that it was best that he didn't go.
Artie talked about going to a screening with Howard back in 2002 or so and he remembers Howard leaving before the movie was even over. Robin said that he's done that at a Rain Forest concert too. Howard said he does that so he can get out of there and not get stuck in the crowd that's leaving. Robin said that she turned around to see how Howard was enjoying the concert and he was just gone.
Howard talked about going to a Bob Seger concert back in Detroit and he missed out on Bruce Springsteen after he had left. He said he was there in the beginning but then he left early and missed out on the whole Springsteen thing.
Ralph called in and asked Howard if he really wants Beth to stay home with him and not go to these parties. Howard said that he wouldn't do that to her. Howard said that he told her yesterday that he might want to go to the screening with her and she wasn't jumping for joy or anything.
Artie said that Howard thinks that the reason Beth is going to these things is because of him and that's a passive regressive thing. Howard said that he heard about the screening today and he told her that he's not sure he has time to do that because of work.
Artie said that he's got similar issues with stuff like that and he'd like to meet the therapist that can fix stuff like that.
Howard said that he always forgets about what happens at therapy and that's why he goes so often. Artie said that he and Dana went to a club one night and the bouncer wouldn't let them in. He said that his friend tried to get him in by telling the guy who Artie was but that didn't work. Artie said that Dana ended up getting into the same club one night with Beth and it was very easy to get in. Artie said that he got very upset about that and said that the whole reason she got in was because of him being on the show. He said he let it fester and he blew up over it. He said that it wasn't even her fault and he shouldn't have done something like that to her.
Howard said that he's working on those issues in therapy. He said that it is nice that Beth isn't too clingy. He said that's great but he still get irritated by this stuff.
Ralph said that Beth is always busy and not bothering him with stuff so that's a good thing. Howard said he does like that she can go out on her own but it still bothers him sometimes. He said that he really enjoys being with Beth and that's what love is to him. He said that he wants to be with her all the time.
Howard said that at one point he felt that when he was around Beth, he's just a happier more pleasant person. He said that he realized that she had faults and he even found an attractiveness about those. He said that he enjoyed the fact that she was a person other than himself. He said that the fact that he realized that made him realize how much he really loved her. He said that there are things that he does himself that are annoying and he finds similar things in Beth that make him realize that she's struggling just like he is.
Howard said that the concept of love for him changes over time. He said that you get to see what's really behind that love you have for a person when all of the initial bullshit goes away. He said that he likes where he's at right now and he hopes it lasts.
Howard said that he's getting married for the second time so he had to make sure that he wasn't getting into something that would ruin her life with this marriage. He said that he wants to be a good husband. Robin said that he went from yesterday saying that he was getting married and he was going to be great to talking about how he hopes that he can be a good husband. Artie told her that it's a constant struggle in a guy's mind.
Howard said that he can get into a frame of mind where he goes into a feeding frenzy. He said that he wants every woman in the world to be in love with him. He said that Robin shouldn't be in love with Jim, she should be in love with him. He said that's how much he wants all women to love him. He said that's the kind of stuff he has to work on all the time. Ralph said that Beth mellowed Howard out and that's an amazing thing. Howard said that he has evolved.
Robin said that Howard was going 150 miles an hour when he was dating and he went right to zero when he met Beth. She said it was kind of wild how quickly he changed. Robin wanted to hear more about the other women that he dated since he was being so open about this.
Gary said that Sal wrote a song for Howard's wedding. Howard played the song which was basically just Howard telling people on the show not to get married. Howard said that Sal is very profound for a moron. He thanked Ralph for calling in after that and moved on.
Howard said that the guy in that song that he just played hadn't met Beth. Robin asked if that guy was dead. Howard said that guy grew and got in touch with what he wanted. Howard told Robin that guy was his ''character.''
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he loves his wife as much now as he did 10 years ago. He said that if Beth doesn't take his last name then she doesn't really love him. Howard sand Robin told him that's silly and not true at all. Artie said it's an inner-city thing and that's not true at all. Howard said that he wouldn't have a problem with it if Beth wanted to use her last name with his last name.
King said that it's bullshit and he has to put a stop to it at some point. Howard said that he would probably resent it if she didn't take his name. Howard said that he knows that he has to work on this stuff and get past some of this resentment.
Howard said there seems to be a craziness and some desperation there and it's really laughable right now that the merger hasn't been approved. The caller said that the merger is supposed to expire on May 1st and it doesn't look like it's going to happen at this point.
The caller also asked Robin if she had watched ''How I Met Your Mother'' last night. Robin didn't see it so the guy told her about this ''Bro Code'' thing that they did on the show. He told her to check that out.
Howard said that he really doesn't care about Dancing with the Stars anymore and got disgusted with the show last night. He said he deleted the show from his TiVo because he got so disgusted. Howard said that they're doing too much stuff on that show now and he's just done with it.
Dominic Barbara called in about the merger and talked about some of the things that are going on with it. He said that he thinks that Jesse Jackson might be behind the 4 states that were mentioned earlier.
Dominic said that he was on some medication for the knee surgery he had last week and he said he's not sure how Artie can handle taking these drugs. He said that the pain killers were making him nuts and he can't imagine taking them more often.
Ralph thinks that Howard deleted Dancing with the Stars as a way to get back at Beth for leaving him home alone. Howard said that she has a copy to watch so he shouldn't worry about that. He hung up on Ralph again.
Robin asked Howard how involved he was with the wedding planning. Howard said that he was involved and had a lot of input for it. He said that Beth kind of did what she wanted but he agreed with what she was doing so he's fine with it.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to comment on Howard and Beth's relationship. She said that she's been with her husband for 20 years now. Howard said he was sorry for her. She went on to say that this thing that he has with Beth going out without him is going to be something he has to get used to. She said that this is going to be hard to get over because she has the same thing and it never really goes away.
The caller said that some people get more hurt than others do. Robin said that Jim was in Des Moines for 5 days and she didn't get upset one bit. Howard said that Robin doesn't love Jim so of course she doesn't get upset.
Howard said that he heard from Colin yesterday and he is in the middle of writing this script. Colin said he needs a week to polish it up and they may be able to shoot in May. If not they'll put it off until July. Robin said they could cast someone else if Eric isn't available. Eric told the cackling witch to shut up.
Artie said that he got a call from this guy Dave Phillips, who he said is really talented, called him and said that he would be willing to work on this project. Artie said that you can google the guy's name and see what he's worked on.
Howard told Eric he understands his demands but Colin is wrapping up the script. He said there are cinematographers willing to work on the movie and they're probably looking at May but maybe early June for the movie shoot.
Howard said that if they want to do something of quality, they may have to put it off until July. Robin asked why Eric can't put the other stuff off so he can do this movie. Eric said he can't do that.
Howard asked Eric if he looked at the lines they sent to him from the original movie ''Taxi Driver.'' Eric said he hadn't looked at them yet. Robin asked if he had them there in front of him. Eric didn't have them with him at the time. He said he gave them lines yesterday. Howard said he wanted him to perform for them today though.
Eric said he didn't know they were going to ask him to perform those lines today. Howard said that they wouldn't have sent them to him if they didn't want him to do them.
Howard said he understands that Eric has a schedule and he doesn't get why Robin isn't understanding that. Eric yelled at someone right after that and said that someone was prank calling his cell phone while he was on the air. He said that people do that when he's on air or doing his JFSC show.
Eric said that he'll call back in tomorrow to read some lines for them. Howard said that would be fine and let Eric go.
Howard was going to go to break but he had to mention this story he saw about this Cardinal Egan saying that Rudy Giuliani can't take communion because he's a catholic who supports abortion. Howard said that this is funny because these people are chasing people from the religion. He said that they don't seem to be outraged about a Pope who was hiding the fact that priests were molesting young boys. Howard said that this lashing out was ridiculous. Howard and the guys spent a minute talking about that stuff before they went to break.
Howard said that he heard that Gary had just paid $4.19 per gallon for gas and that's getting out of hand. He said that this country needs to find another source of energy. He said that we're also going to have food shortages. Robin said that's not true, it's the cost of food that's going to go up and people won't be able to afford it.
Howard said that the answer isn't clear to him at this point. He said we have really brilliant guys inventing stuff and he doesn't get why we can't get this stuff going and get some alternate fuels going. Robin said that they'd have to retool the plants to change all of that stuff.
Dee Snider was on the ISDN line so Howard asked him what he thinks about all of that. Dee said that he heard Artie talking about $5 worth of gas lasting a few days and he's not sure what year that was in, the 1940s? Artie said that was it, the same years that Dee was popular.
Howard had Dee's son Jesse on the line so he could talk to him as well. He said that Jesse is on this show ''Rock the Cradle'' on MTV where he's competing against other kids of music stars. Dee said that the show isn't getting the kind of viewers that MTV was hoping for.
Howard talked about some of the stuff that's going on there at the show and Dee said that they're making things appear to be what they're not by creative editing. Jesse said that he and Crosby are getting along better than it appears on that show. He said he just went out with Crosby the other night.
Howard asked if Olivia Newton John's daughter has had lip injections or something. Jesse said he thinks she has because he saw older pictures of her and she didn't have any lips and now she does. He also said that they appear to have deflated a little bit since the season started.
Dee said that these kids really have a lot of pressure on them during their performances. Howard said he had no idea how overbearing Dee's wife is as a mother. Howard said the same thing about Dee too because the show seems to be more about him than it is about Jesse. Dee didn't think that was true but Howard went on to talk about some of the stuff Dee has done. He mentioned Joe Walsh's daughter and how he doesn't seem to be very supportive of his daughter. Jesse said that really pisses him off that he's not supportive of his daughter. He said that he was in town just a few blocks away while his daughter was kicking ass singing a song.
Howard said that it appeared that Joe didn't want anything to do with the show and asked not to be lit up. Dee said that's the case and he really doesn't want anything to do with the show at all. Dee said that they are being exploited as the parents of these kids but it does benefit the kids if they're there.
Howard said that maybe Joe is looking at it like he doesn't like his kid being judged like that. Jesse said that he thinks that it's a case of being a lazy parent. Dee said that Lucy doesn't think that's it and he may have had some issues with another show that he was working on at some point.
Howard said that Dee's wife Suzette tells Jesse to show more penis and stuff like that with tight jeans and stuff. Dee said that she's really not forcing stuff on him and it's the editing again that's making it look like she is.
Dee said that he'd love for his kid to be a bigger star than he was. Howard said that he doesn't want that at all from his kids. He said that he would feel that it was exploitation if his kid were on a show like that but he would be there to support her if she was on it. He said he wouldn't do what Joe Walsh is doing by ignoring his kid. He said he could never say no to his kid but he would feel that they were being used.
Artie said that it might be tough for Joe to see his kid doing what she's doing in front of the camera. Dee said that it is pretty surreal.
Jesse went off on Belinda Carlisle for saying something about him being a ''fake punk'' after she sat in his rehearsal and telling him that his song was great. Dee tried to get him to stop talking like that but Jesse said that he had to say that. Dee said that he wanted Jesse not to talk about the judges like because he told him to just relax with that stuff this morning.
Howard said that Jesse seems to have the same kind of swagger that Dee does. Dee said that he told his manager that they were portraying Jesse as a cocky, arrogant guy on the show and the manager just said ''And?'' like he wasn't surprised.
Howard said he thinks that Jesse is a front runner at this time. Jesse said that might be why they're portraying him the way they are. He said that he thinks that the producers want him to stay on the show as long as possible because he always comes through with his performances.
Howard read that Jesse wrote a comic book for DC comics and it's going to be published this June. Howard said he was very impressed by that. He said that if he had a son who wrote comic books, he'd be beside himself. Dee said that he's very happy about it.
Howard asked Jesse if he's married now. Jesse said that he did get married to his high school sweetheart. Howard asked Dee why he let that happen. Dee said he had no control over that. Jesse is 25 and has known the girl for about 9 years.
Howard said that he heard from his kids that Jesse had a reputation in school. He asked Dee how old he was when he started banging. He said he was about 15 or so. Howard asked him if he thinks that he wants to stay with the same woman for the rest of his life. Jesse said that she's gorgeous and he wants to be with her so he married her.
Dee said that he could have taken the chance and let her go and possibly lose her forever, or he could marry her. He picked out the marrying thing and that's great. Dee said that he's been with his wife for 32 years and things are working out just fine for him.
Howard asked Jesse if he ever saw his dad naked. Jesse said that he never has and he's never seen his penis. Howard said that he's heard from Suzette that Dee has a huge penis. Jesse said he didn't want to hear this stuff. Howard said Suzette has said that it hurts to have sex with him. Jesse said that it must run in the family because he's the same way.
Howard said that he's seen his father's penis. He saw that when he was growing up. Artie joked that he had seen his father's penis, when he was fuckin' him.
Dee said that things are getting kind of weird now that they're getting older and still talking about this stuff. Howard said that Suzette described Dee's penis as being like the can that tennis balls come in. He said that he was in his kitchen hearing that from her with his wife standing there. It was very embarrassing to him because he has just the opposite of Dee.
Jesse said that his friends would always make references to his mom being so hot when he was playing football in school and stuff. He said that they went pretty far and they'd talk about her being a MILF and making jerk off moves with their hands.
Howard talked about how hot Suzette was and asked Jesse how long he nursed with his mom. Jesse said he never did but his siblings did. Howard told him he might want to start now.
Howard asked Dee if he's still hurting Suzette with his penis. Dee said that his wife is a petite woman to begin with so it's not just him. Howard asked Jesse if his wife Patty had ever been in pain from having sex. Jesse said that he wasn't going to talk about that.
Howard asked everyone to check out this ''Rock the Cradle'' show that airs on Thursday nights on MTV. He said that he'd like to help him out. Jesse said that you can find out more about him and what he's up to his band is called Baptize My Fire. Howard let Dee and Jesse go a short time later.
Howard said he had some audio of a FOX news anchor pronouncing Arnold Schwarzenegger's name as ''Swarzenigger.'' Howard played that clip and she said it twice. Howard said that she's not saying ''Schwarz'' right either. She's saying ''Swartz.'' Howard said that they should know how to say the name by this point. He replayed the clip and got a few laughs from the guys.
Howard said that Jackie was there but they had to take a break first. He said that Jackie wrote him an e-mail and wanted to come in to promote his radio show ''Jackie's Joke Hunt.'' He said that they'll talk to him but he doesn't think that much has changed in his life. He said Jackie is out dating now but he's still technically married to Nancy.
Artie asked what happened with Nancy and the date they set her up on. Howard said that things didn't work out for her with that guy. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard had Jackie the Joke Man come in after that. Jackie has been off the show for 7 years now. Jackie came in and said hello to everyone. He shook everyone's hands and Fred said that his hand feels leathery to him. Jackie said he's 60 years old now, of course it's leathery.
Howard said that Jackie had a big smile on his face. Jackie said that when he turned 60 he can't even say that number now. He said that 50 wasn't that big of a deal but the 60 is.
Howard asked Jackie if he can still get it up now. Jackie said he can't and then showed Howard this little Viagra thing that he had that has a little light on it and lets you carry around your pills. Jackie said that he has tried it but he doesn't carry it around with him.
Howard said that Jackie is all proud of the fact that he doesn't drink now but he still smokes pot. Jackie said that he doesn't smoke that much now. He only smokes at night and not during the day. He said it's not even every night but Howard called him out on that and Jackie said that he does smoke every night.
Jackie said that he's blown away by how Robin looks but he's even more blown away that she's dating Florentine. Jackie said that he knows Florentine and he's a fun guy but he would never have guessed that he'd end up dating Robin.
Howard asked Jackie if he thinks it's a mismatch. Jackie said that it's really not but he is from that Bobby Levy gang of crazies that hang out. He said that he doesn't know Jim that well, he just knew that he was a nice guy.
Howard asked Jackie if he thought that Stuttering John's movie was good. Jackie said that he did laugh out loud about 10 times and that rarely happens. He said that Sandi Taylor is in the movie and he promised that he would keep her name Taylor instead of Korn that she sued to use when she came on the show.
Howard heard that Jackie is still putting money into weird projects. He heard that he put up money for a movie that his wife Nancy and her boyfriend produced. Jackie said that he's doing this joke show called ''Play with Jackie'' and they're going to bring it to Howard TV.
Howard said that Gary asked him what Jackie is doing now to make money. Jackie said that he owned a lot of stock but got killed with some of that stuff. He said that he owns some homes and stuff like that. He said that he has no vices other than the pot that people usually give to him. He said that he's an old guy with no bad habits and he has enough money to live okay. He said that he really needs this game show to happen because he doesn't have a lot of money though.
Howard asked Jackie what he's making per night now that he's not on the show. He asked him if he's making the 72 grand that Artie is making for a night. Jackie said that he is but he was just kidding and said he can't believe Artie is making that kind of money.
Jackie said that he made 22 grand at one show one time and that was the best he ever did. Howard said that the week Jackie left he had gone out to Vegas with him on a private jet and he had it all. Jackie said that if he knew how Robin was going to look now, he never would have left. He said that he's been asked every question about this show and everyone asks if he ever had sex with Robin. He never did. Artie joked that was another thing he missed out on because he's banging her all the time.
Jackie said that tonight is the 75th Jackie's Joke Hunt show and they're celebrating that. Howard said that's amazing and he had no idea that they had done that many shows.
Jackie said that Fred was looking good. Howard thought that Fred was still mad at Jackie but Fred said that they had patched things up and had moved on from that.
Jackie said that he found out that Fred thought that when he was goofing on him saying ''Fred Morris'' that Fred thought that he was saying ''Fred Mars'' which drove him nuts. He got a laugh out of that.
Jackie went on to tell some new jokes he had for him. He went through the jokes and laughed at himself as he was telling them as he always has. Artie said he heard that joke on his Joke Hunt Show. Jackie said if he's listening to his show then he's going to start dating Florentine. Artie said he's a big fan of Jackie's show.
Howard said that Jackie's Joke Master was named on a list of toys containing lead. Jackie said that he really doesn't know what's in his toys but he doesn't really worry about it either. Howard said that it appears that Jackie has never turned down a thing when he gets offered something. Jackie said that he does get a lot of offers but he has turned down some stuff. Howard wanted to hear one thing that he's turned down. Jackie said that he turned down a movie.
Gary told Howard that he had a clip of Jackie doing some acting in this movie called ''The Wicked.'' Howard played the clip where Jackie is playing himself and talking to a senator who had hired him to do his act for him. Howard said that Jackie seems to do anything he's asked to and the only thing he ever turned down was this show. Howard said that Jackie would do anything where he got stuff free.
Jackie said that the show beats the shit out of you and people tell him all the time that he looks 10 years younger all the time. Artie said that the schedule is tough for someone who is doing stand-up.
Howard played a clip from Jackie's show ''The Pikers'' where he was doing a southern accent. Howard said that sounded terrific. Jackie said that the show is very funny and he and his family win the lottery and end up in the ghetto instead of in Beverly Hills like the Beverly Hillbillies.
Howard said that it was amazing that Jackie actually signed on for more shows there. Jackie said that he managed to get what he wanted because he asked for nothing. Howard heard that he had asked for some interns for his show but they turned that down.
Howard gave Jackie some more plugs for his show and said that you can hear him tonight on Howard 101. He's also appearing down at Ferrara's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked Jackie how many years he was on the show. Jackie said that he was on for 18 years. Dominic said that he'd like to know what happened with his divorce because this is the only one he didn't handle. Jackie ended up goofing on him about his divorces.
Howard asked Jackie why he didn't get a divorce. Jackie said that they are legally separated and he keeps her on his health insurance by staying married.
Jackie talked about how he saw Kimberly Taylor, Amy Lynn and Sandi Taylor all within a short time and he's heard that they'd all like to come in for a reunion show or something. Jackie got in a few more plugs for some other stuff he's going to be doing soon. You can find out more at Jokeland.com. He's still got his (516) 922-WINE line going too.
Howard took some calls from some people who asked Jackie why he thinks he's funny and stuff like that. They were mostly goofing on him for leaving the show.
Howard asked Jackie if he's upset that Gary is now in the Friar's club. Jackie said that he saw Gary over there eating one day and he yelled out to Gary when he saw him ''The shrimp doesn't have a chance!'' He said he heard that someone had heard that on the show a couple of days later and they thought it was an old replay or something even though it had just happened.
Howard gave Jackie some more plugs for his show and said that his sister is a big fan of the show. Howard said that Ellen loves it and she said she can't believe that she likes it. Howard said that she told him about listening to the whole hour of the show and she was entertained the whole hour. Howard said that he told her that she might be the only person who has heard the whole hour. Howard said he likes the show and the jokes that he tells.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked why Jackie laughs at his jokes before he's even told the punch line. Jackie told him not to listen if he doesn't like it. Another guy asked Howard if he booked Jackie to show Artie what he could end up like. Artie said that he's not going to make it to 60.
Jackie said that he went out to dinner with Howard to an Italian place one time and the place was kind of small. He said he waled through the door and he was fine but then Howard walked through and he whacked his head on the doorway. He said that he was laughing through the whole appetizer and Howard was getting pissed at him because of that. Howard said he'll never go out to dinner again with him because of that. He said he thinks that he was dizzy and agreed to let him do his show there after that bonk on the head. Howard wrapped up with Jackie after giving him some more plugs for all of the stuff he had mentioned earlier. They went to break after that.
Howard came back a short time later and said that he was stunned when he opened up the paper and saw that Elliot Spitzer's whore is suing Joe Francis from Girls Gone Wild. He got her when she was much younger and now she's suing him for that. Howard said he's got nothing against whores but she is a whore and how much worse could her reputation be? Howard said it's a little late to be suing Joe Francis over ruining her reputation.
Howard said that he's really not sure why everyone is so upset about these pictures of Hannah Montana. He was digging through his paper trying to find the article about this Ashley Alexandra Dupré whore. He said that he wasn't able to find it so he gave up.
Howard said that there as an article about the radio ratings in New York. He said that David Hinckley must love Imus. He said that they put Imus on this ABC radio and his ratings are lower than the guys that he replaced. His replacements over at WFAN radio are beating Imus with ratings higher than he ever got. Howard said that this Imus must be the luckiest guy in the business. He said they gave him $10 million to go to ABC and he's not delivering the ratings.
Howard said that there was one article where they lay it out on the line about Imus, unlike this Hinckley guy. Howard read the article where they say that Imus has a 1.5 share which means that he could have zero ratings based on the error ratio for the ratings. He said that it's only going to get worse for Imus because he started there after a big controversy.
Howard read the ratings and said that Boomer Esiason is getting better ratings and they're up at number 5 in the ratings. He said that beginners are beating Imus in the ratings. He said that he could take someone off the street and they would get better ratings than Imus.
Howard said that David Hinckley says that the people who are listening to Imus are the smart, upscale people. He read about this Spanish guy who is going around claiming that he used to beat them in the ratings. He said that they're doing well in the ratings. Z-100 has the number 1 morning show and Elvis Duran is getting the big ratings. Opie and Anthony took a big drop but they don't say by how much in the article.
Howard said he doesn't understand why they keep signing these people who don't get ratings. He said the article says that Opie and Anthony are dead last in the ratings in New York City. He read that they just signed a new contract over there too. Artie found some ratings info and found that Opie and Anthony had a 1.7 rating. He looked through the other ratings and wasn't able to find WABC on the list. He eventually found that they had a 3.2 but Howard said that can't be possible.
Howard read through the ratings himself and found that WABC actually did have 3.2. Robin said that was respectable. Howard said that WFAN had a 2.3 so he figured that something was off. He said that the list that Artie had must have been wrong. The article that he was reading had conflicting information.
Artie said that it does appear that Hinckley does skew things in his own way and he does appear to have a problem with Howard. Howard said he doesn't really care about that.
Howard said that his agent was contacted about this Radio Hall of Fame thing. He said that they were going to do this voting thing on the internet but he said he wants nothing to do with it. Howard said that they're supposed to put him up against a bunch of bizarre list of people. Howard said that he told Don to tell them to please not nominate him. He said that no one has had the impact that he's had on the radio business and it's an insult to nominate him for something like that. He said that he wouldn't show up to their awards if they paid him a million bucks and told them to suck his dick.
Howard asked Alexis about how old she is. She's only 20. Howard said it sounds like she just graduated high school. Justine said that she had something for Artie but it wasn't what he wanted. Howard told her to let Artie bang her but she said that she just vomited in her mouth. She told Artie that he blew it with her business manager Leah who was in there last time. Artie said that she lives in California. He said that he didn't know what to do and he wasn't able to work things out.
Howard said he was reading about Justine's life and it's pretty wild. He read that she had been molested or something but she had no idea where that was coming from. JD came in and said that she was on Geraldo's show talking about molestation. Justine said that she wasn't talking about herself though. Justine said that she was talking about another man, not her step-grandfather.
Justine said that she was molested by 3 guys and they went to court and they're currently in jail over it. She said that one of the three is still out and evading capture. Justine said that she's been in therapy since she was 13 years old.
Justine said that she's bi-sexual but she has trouble getting chicks to come home with her. She said that they always chicken out at the last minute. She said that she did a show there at SIRIUS last night and she was talking to a lesbian who she was ready to go home with.
Howard asked Justine about this molestation and when it all happened. She said that it went on from 3 to 10 years of age. She said that she started to get hot when she was a nerd until she was about 17 and didn't get guys until then.
Howard read that Justine had hurt her neck when she had sex because she was in a pile driver position. She said that she is pretty bendy but she did hurt herself. She said that because of the guy's weight she pulled a muscle in her neck.
Justine talked about the guy she's with and how she and this guy she's with are into the same things. They both like polyamory (banging other people) and they're into threesomes.
Justine mentioned that she's into Harry Potter so Howard had some questions for her to answer about him. He said that if she gets them wrong then Artie gets to spank her. She said that she wasn't into that but then said that he could do it if he didn't bruise her.
Here are the questions and answers that Howard asked:
Howard gave out some plugs for Justine when she got the answers correct. You can check Justine out at JustineJolie.com and at Penthouse.com
Howard moved on to Alexis and asked her about the porn movies she's done. She's made about 120 of them so far. She talked about how she hasn't had sex with black guys yet and blamed that on the big penis thing. Howard told her that he doesn't have anything near a big penis and he's pretty sure that she'd like him.
Alexis stripped down for the guys too. Howard said that he had a boner now because the girls were rubbing each other. He said that they make a beautiful couple. The girls were talking about going back to their hotel and doing each other after the show.
Howard asked what they were going to do to each other. Justine talked about teasing Alexis and kissing her and stuff like that. She kissed her as she was describing it. Howard asked what Alexis was going to be doing. She said that she'd be licking her boobs and pussy. Howard said she seems to know what she's doing.
Artie said that Alexis seems to have some big teeth and has a Baba Booey thing going on. Howard said she was beautiful and hot and didn't think that at all. Artie said he wasn't trying to be mean, he was just pointing out the teeth. Alexis said that she had her Invisaligns (braces) in today so that's why they looked so big.
Artie said he's just giving her the tough love that she can't get from her other friends. Justine said that maybe they don't need tough love. Artie may have been trying to knock them down a notch. Howard asked more about the sex that they were going to have and then got back to the Harry Potter questions.
Howard asked Justine ''Who is the grand sorcerer?'' and she got it wrong so Artie went over to spank her. Howard said that Alexis was very lucky to be going back to the hotel with Justine. Artie went over to spank her but Justine warned him that if he bruised her, he'd lose his balls. Artie was going easy on her so she told him he could hit her harder. He gave her a few whacks but she had an attitude toward him that was a bit off putting.
Howard gave Justine one more question and said that Artie could feel her up if she got it wrong. She said that she didn't want him doing that to her though.
Howard asked Justine about what she would do to Alexis and she was talking about all of the toys she has for her and what she would do with butt plugs, vibrators and things like that. Justine asked if Alexis could spank her instead of Artie. Howard let her do that and Alexis ended up licking her ass and spanking her a little bit.
Howard asked Justine ''Who is the captain of Griffendor's Crittage team?'' Justine said that the question wasn't right because it could be from different years. She said that it could have been one of two people. Howard asked her a different question about a gift that was given by some character in the Harry Potter books. She didn't know it and Howard wasn't giving her the multiple choice.
Howard asked Alexis what she was going to do with her butt plug with Justine. She said that she was going to push it in and out. Howard asked her what she would do if she found remnants on the plug. Justine said that's gross but it does happen once in a while. She didn't know the answer to the question so Artie was going to go over and feel her up.
Justine said that she wouldn't even look at Artie while he was doing it to her. She said that she was skeeved out by him while he was doing it. He also got to feel up Alexis. Justine said that his hands were really rough, dry and cracked.
Gary asked Howard how long he could buy into the Harry Potter stuff if he was with her. Howard said that he'd put up with that as long as he had to. He said he's pretty sure he'd be into whatever she wanted. Howard said he thinks he'd even let her have sex with other women as long as they were in front of him. Justine said that she's sure they could make that happen.
Justine said that she was in the Bowling Beauties show for Howard TV. That's coming up this month on Howard TV. The Howard TV guys showed some video of that and she wasn't wearing a top in the video. Justine said that it was actually pretty easy to bowl in those shoes they had. Howard said that he wanted to send a camera back to their room today so he could see what they do. They agreed to let them to that.
Howard said that they had some video of Artie feeling up Alexis and Justine from a few minutes before. Artie said that it was wrong in every way. Justine asked Artie if he has trouble remembering girl's names because he was calling Alexis ''the Mexican.''
Justine told Howard about how much she loves sucking cock and the amazing feeling she gets from someone when she's doing that. She said that she's had her jaw hurt from doing that stuff. She said that she's actually put in an hour or more doing that to guys.
Howard said that Alexis was rubbing Justine's thigh and it looked like she was very frustrated by it. Justine said that she hadn't had sex in about a week now so she was ready to go. The two of them kissed for a few seconds and seemed to get lost for a short time.
Justine was licking Alexis over her area but over the panties. Howard told the girls to let them listen in as they're doing this stuff back at the hotel today. He gave them some plugs for the web sites that they were plugging. They're going to be at The Romantic Depot in New Jersey today and tomorrow as well.
Justine said that Artie blew off her manager Leah and ended up giving her a $20 to catch a cab instead of going out with her and she had the 20 for Artie today. Artie said that he's spoken to Leah a few times since that day and he didn't do anything wrong. He said that he's getting a bad rap there and he doesn't deserve it.
Howard asked the girls what they weighed. Alexis was 95 and Justine was 110 pounds. Artie said that even added together he'd still have 100 pounds on them. Artie said that he's going to call Leah today and straighten all of this out. Howard had to go to break a short time later.