Howard started off the show talking about being back live and giving the date to prove it. He guessed at the date because he wasn't quite sure though. He said that he was in the middle of a story with Artie before they started the show. He said that Artie was on Conan O'Brien's show during vacation and he was annoyed with Randy Jackson from American Idol.
Artie said that Randy came off as very phony and talked about himself in the third person so it was very annoying. He said that he was very nice to him off stage but he was very phony when he was nice to him. He said that he didn't want to talk to him but the guy came back and told him ''The dawg loves what you do man...'' and the dawg was Randy. He said that he thanked Randy but he found it all kind of phony.
Artie said that Randy gave him that hand shake where he brings you into his chest. Then he got on the air and walked out and told Conan that ''the dawg keeps it real'' so Conan asked him ''so you're the dawg?'' like he didn't know.
Artie said that Randy had an outfit on that looked like it was from mars. He said that it was the most dull and not entertaining interviews he's ever seen. He said he's starting some new show where he finds a new band to put together and he's doing it with Paula. The interview about it was boring though.
Howard said that Artie should have called himself the ''pizza pie'' when Randy called himself the dawg. Artie said that he went out and called himself the dawg when he did his interview. He said he talked to Conan about how ridiculous it is that Randy has any power. Howard said that the audience loved it even it Conan didn't.
Artie said he went back stage after his appearance and heard that Randy had come back to say goodbye and he saw him getting slammed. Randy told them to tell him that's really funny and ''the dawg'' thinks that's funny. He said that's so phony for him to do that and keep pretending that he's okay with someone slamming him like that.
Howard said that Oprah is kind of like that with her phoniness on her show. Artie said that he had an uncle who wanted to come with him to Conan because he thought he was going to be on the show with Reggie Jackson, not Randy. He said he's not sure how he got that mixed up, he must have read it wrong.
Howard played some clips from Conan's show where Randy was calling himself ''the dawg.'' Then he played Artie talking about being annoyed that Randy has any power. He played through some of that and some of Artie talking about his uncle wanting to come to see Reggie Jackson.
Howard said he walked into the show after it had started and they sat him right into the front row. He said he wasn't sure how many people were going to be in there. He said that he would have been there for the whole show but he walked in on Nick DiPaolo while he was doing his act.
Howard said that once the applause had died down, the audience was ready to see Nick. He said that Nick wanted to get off the stage after that though. Artie said he did about 12 minutes of his act before Howard walked in and he was supposed to do like 20 minutes. Artie said that it was 2500 people in a big room and some of them expected that he might be there. Artie said that Nick only bailed about 5 minutes early.
Gary said that the TV guys were down there and they had audio of when he walked into the show. They played the clip where Nick mentioned that Howard was there. The audience cheered him on when he came in.
Nick gave him a nice intro but then he joked about Beth being ugly. He was just being sarcastic but he ended up calling them later on in the night apologizing for that and saying that he was just kidding.
Howard said that Jeff was so drunk that he was about to fall off the stage there. He said he was yelling at Artie to get him before he did fall. Jeff was wobbling around on stage and started to talk. He said he was really relaxed up there on stage and did kind of a Bill Cosby kind of delivery.
Howard said that Jeff showed his ass on stage and you get to see the aftermath of that operation he had. Howard played some audio of Artie introducing him and Jeff almost falling off stage. He said the audience kind of went nuts when they saw that. The crowd calmed down and let Jeff try to talk. Then he started to tell the audience to ''calm down bitch!'' He repeated that a few times and had nothing else to say. Howard said he wanted to give him some material because the audience was ready to hear him do something. Then someone yelled out ''You suck!'' as Jeff was barreling through his story about his trip down there.
Howard said he didn't know what Jeff was talking about until he heard the replay of this clip. Artie told Jeff that was some anecdote that he'd just told on stage. Howard said after that the audience got to see his ass and they went nuts. The crowd let out a huge sigh when they saw that ass of his.
Howard said that Jeff's story was basically just saying that he had a car pull in front of him on the way down there and he told her to ''shut up bitch.'' Howard had Jeff on the phone to talk about that.
Jeff called in with a wheeze like they'd never heard before. Jeff said he got sick. He isn't sure what's wrong with him, he just knows that he's sick. Howard said it might have something to do with his lifestyle. Jeff said that he's fine. He said he fell the other day and hurt himself too. He said he didn't break anything though. He's only 40 years old, the same as Artie, but he looks 60 to Robin.
Howard had some audio from back stage at the show in Atlantic City and this is why Artie can't handle having him at these shows. He said that Artie treats him really well but he makes all kinds of demands. He said that Jeff was in complaining mode back there. He played the clip where Jeff was saying that he went through hell to get there and they stuck him in a room with a bunch of nobodies. He said he didn't know anyone in the room and he was pissed.
Howard told Jeff that he's a nobody too, he doesn't seem to understand that. Artie said that the guys who were in the room with him were his buddies from high school. Jeff said that he's one of the Wack Pack though. JD said that Artie's friends were a pain in the ass too because they wouldn't let Jeff be interviewed for Howard TV until Artie came back there.
Howard had some more clips of Jeff yelling about stuff back stage at the show. Jeff was going off on the cameraman for no apparent reason. He said that Jeff was yelling for Jim McClure like he was his mother or something. Howard asked Jeff who the guys were that he brought with him down there. Jeff said he didn't know.
JD said that some of Jeff's friends were kind of scary. They talked about them a little bit and Jeff said that they're just people he knows. Artie said that some of them are like the Carnies at a carnival.
Howard played another clip of Jeff yelling for Jim McClure to come to him. He was screaming for him. Artie said that JD and Jim were helping him back stage and that's why he was yelling for him. He said that Teddy was away for the weekend so Jim was there instead.
Howard asked Jeff if this bothers him to hear that he's ''that guy'' back stage. Jeff said it really doesn't. JD said that Jeff was in a room with beer so he's not sure what else he needed. JD said that Jeff is the most demanding guy back stage, no one else asks for the kind of stuff he asks for.
Howard said that Jeff should be thanking Artie for letting him come down there. He shouldn't be treating people the way he does. Artie said that most people do thank him for that kind of stuff and tell him that they had fun. He never gets that from Jeff. Jeff said he only saw Artie for 2 minutes, he didn't have time. Artie said that 2 minutes is plenty of time.
Artie told Jeff that he's a real jerk off and that tape he just heard didn't make him want to have him to any more shows. He said that it's like a slap in the face when he hears that. Jeff gave him a ''whatever'' when he heard that.
Gary came in and asked Jeff what else he has and why he abuses people that way when someone gives him something like that. Jeff claimed he was hamming it up for the camera. Howard said that's changes the story then. He said that maybe Artie needs Jeff there and he should have him to every show. Robin said that he should grab him up before he does a show of his own.
JD said that he just wanted to tell them what a piece of shit Jeff was. Howard was going to let Jeff go after that but Jeff said that he heard that the Hannah Montana performances that were up in his area were pre-recorded. He was upset about that.
Howard said that he had a great time down there at the Borgata. He said that they treated him really well like they do every time he's there. Artie said that they're great there. He said that he got a fantastic review in New Jersey Monthly too.
Howard said that he jerked off twice yesterday because Beth went off on a trip. He said that he didn't even wait for porn the first time. He just thought about some chick that he had banged and he was able to finish. He said he was able to finish in a few seconds. Fred played some sound effects with a door opening, a beating off sound clip and then a glop sound. Howard was trying to get Fred to do it in the actual time it took him to finish.
Fred wasn't able to pull it off the way Howard wanted to hear it. He said that there might be a flaw in the system if he can't do it. He finally came through with something close enough though.
Howard said that he beat off in the morning and then had to do it again in the afternoon. He said that he used porn the second time. He wanted to get a nap before he played a chess game so that's why he did it the second time. He ate a big meal and then got his porn stash and found something to beat off to. Howard said that the dawg was watching him beat off and he's tired of that. Artie asked if it was Randy Jackson watching him. Howard said it was his actual dog.
Howard said that he was watching some porn with this girl all tied up and oiled down. He said that she was tied up but able to do pleasure herself. JD came in and told Howard that the movie stars Bree Olson and it's called ''Bound To Please 2.'' Howard said that she was really hot in that movie. He didn't remember meeting her even though she was on the show. JD said that she was really into Howard when she was there.
Robin asked how that porn got into his stash. Howard said he put it in his bag and took it home with him. JD told him that she's coming in there in 2 weeks.
Howard said he usually forgets about the porn he brings home and then he finds it, kind of like buried treasure.
Howard said he played some blackjack before going to the comedy show. He said he hadn't played in years. Artie said he likes that Howard can just have fun playing and doesn't have to spend a lot to do it. Howard said that he knows that the game is completely fucked up unless you can count cards. He said that he was with a bunch of guys down there and he was down by about $500 after a few hours. He said he was really upset about that.
Howard said that he was down by about $400 and this guy from the Borgata came over to him and told him to bet it all and managed to get up to over a grand. He said that he was acting like he'd just hit the lottery.
After Artie's show the guys went out to play some poker and kept it pretty small stakes. He said that they had a fun group of guys to play and they were just playing for a few bucks. Artie had gone up to shower and came back down to see what was going on. Howard said that none of the guys playing had a clue how to play. He said that Artie would have hated it.
Howard said that the poor dealer had to explain the game to the guys who were playing during almost every hand. Howard said that if it happened just once, it would be fine. He had to do it with each guy multiple times. Howard said he was getting sick with those guys not knowing how to play the game. NO one was paying attention and no one was doing anything right.
Howard said he got frustrated and went to his room to go to sleep. He said the guys were acting up in front of the dealer and it just wasn't cool. He said that they were also yelling out ''monkey'' during the blackjack games because they saw some Japanese guys doing that a few years back. He said that Ross is the guy who does that. The guys talked about how rough Ross can be on the dealers down there.
Howard said that it's really not a lot of fun for him to have that going on around him. He said that he really needs to go by himself instead if with a bunch of guys. Artie said that he'd like to go down there with Howard sometime and not with the other guys. Howard said he would do that because Artie knows how to play poker.
Artie said that he didn't want to see Howard in the front row at his show. He said it's kind of weird when he sees people he knows at his shows. Howard thought he did fine though. Artie said he would like to go back down there with him and just play poker with him.
Howard said that Anthony from the Opie and Anthony show was sitting at the next table while he was playing poker so he was distracted by that. Howard said he waved to Anthony and Anthony waved back to him. He said that someone asked him why he was waving to him because they're the enemy. Howard said that they're not the enemy. He said that they were actually talking about them and how they're not getting any ratings over at their old station, K-Rock. Howard said that he's got bigger enemies than Opie and Anthony. Artie said that he's not sure how they're even part of the same conversation as Howard.
Howard said he has OCD and he was kind of obsessing about some stuff down there. He said he didn't want to walk by Anthony because he was afraid his bad luck was going to rub off on him. He said that he did walk past him and he even shook his hand and said hello to him. He said that he was saying hello to everyone down there and he liked that the fans were so admiring and friendly. He said that the fans are really the best.
Artie said that the fans really do love the show and there's a genuine excitement out there. He said that its' like that around the country.
Howard said that there was a guy behind him at the show who said ''holy shit... look at the size of this guy!'' when he saw Artie walk out on stage. Howard said that everyone was commenting on how big he was for about 5 minutes.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he was back stage. Howard said he had no idea that he was even there. He said that Jeff was really loud back stage and his comments had nothing to do with reality. Howard told Dominic he had to take a break so he could get to Eric the Midget. He said that Jimmy Kimmel sent him a note about Eric wanting to come to his show. He said that Jimmy introduced Eric on TV and they some stories to tell about that.
Howard said that he thought that Jon Stewart was really good on the Oscar's last night but he got blasted in the reviews of the show today. Robin said she thought he was really good too and couldn't believe how much he got bashed.
Howard said that Jimmy had e-mailed him during vacation and told him about how Eric's people had contacted him and told him he could be a guest. He said that Jimmy was going to have him there but didn't want him as a guest. Howard got Eric on the phone and asked Eric why he was trying to be a guest. Eric said that he just wanted to meet Jimmy, he didn't want to be a guest.
Jimmy said that it wasn't Eric, it was his people who contacted him. He said he would have Eric in the audience. Jimmy had him there and actually did say hi to him on the air. Jimmy said that he couldn't think of anything but Eric while he was there.
Howard said that Jimmy had a bunch of stars there with him all day and the only person he cared about that night was Eric. Jimmy said that he sent a note out to his friends and family and they all wanted to come out and meet Eric.
Howard had Jimmy's e-mail about Eric and read through some of that. He said that Jimmy told him that it took the audience about 8 minutes to recover after he had introduced Eric. He played a clip from Jimmy's show where he introduced Eric. Jimmy said that he was the reason he was so excited that evening. Howard said the audience went dead when they showed Eric on the camera.
Howard said that Jimmy was shocked to meet Eric. He read the e-mail he got after Eric's appearance. Jimmy said that the audience was shocked by his appearance and it took about 8 minutes to recover. Jimmy said he shook Eric's hand and it was like shaking a rotten plumb. Jimmy said he also saw pictures of Kendra kissing Eric. Eric said he got to spend a couple of days with Kendra out there in Beverly Hills.
Artie asked Eric if he got to bang Kendra because he was with her for 2 days. Eric said he was a gentleman and he didn't do anything else. They showed some of the kissing pictures on the web cam at JFSC.tv. Howard said that there were some pictures of Kendra kind of kissing Eric but not really. Then they showed one that showed her really kissing him. There was one of Eric with Kendra with just pasties on and Eric said he didn't expect that one to be shown. He said that her friend was taking the pictures and he really didn't want that one up there.
Howard said that Jimmy was saying he wasn't sure if Eric could have sex. He said that Eric is smaller than a midget and he's more of a ''sub-midget'' and more the size of a volleyball.
Howard read through more of Jimmy's e-mail and Jimmy said that Eric had gone out to a strip club and one of the girls there had gone the extra mile for him. Eric said that the woman was taking the lap dance a little farther than he expected. He said that she was putting her boobs in his face and stuff like that. Artie asked him what kind of fruit he is. Jimmy said ''He's a cantaloupe.''
Howard said that Jimmy was saying that some of Eric's friends were saying that he wants to play the field a little bit instead of staying with Kendra. Eric said that was true.
Jimmy wrote that Eric is very full of himself right now. Howard asked Eric what happened with Kendra when she took the pictures with him. He wondered if there were any times that they were alone and kissing or if the camera was there the whole time. Eric said there were times when they were alone. Howard asked him if he felt a connection with Kendra, why would he want to play the field. Eric said that he just thought it might be a good thing to do.
Howard said he doesn't think that Eric is being honest with them. Eric said that he was being honest. He said that he didn't really get to feel her breasts, but maybe a little bit. He said that he got to watch her do a photo shoot, that's what the naked (with pasties) pictures were. He said he told her that he was thinking of playing the field out there.
Howard asked Eric if the stripper had touched his crotch. Eric said that she did have her head down there and rubbed her leg into him.
Jimmy said that he thinks that Eric is discovering his celebrity and he's getting a lot more attention now that he comes out of that room of his. He has a lot more going on than you'd think. Howard asked Eric what happened with Kendra out there because obviously something went on that made him realize that it's not as serious as he thought it was.
Eric said that Kendra did get jealous of him when he went to the strip club. He said that the dancer tried to kiss him at one point and she got upset about that.
Howard had some new made up clips that the guys made up using clips of Eric talking. They had him saying ''Kendra pissed in my asshole.'' Jimmy said that Eric always wants to be called Eric the Actor but he comes up with all of these strange names to be called. Howard said he's right and he made a good point. He would play some of those clips in a minute. He had some other clips like ''I wanted to fuck Kendra's asshole'' and ''I like Kendra's cock'' and ''I am sticking Kendra's penis in my butt'' among others. Howard said that he was just kidding around.
Howard said that he had Kendra on the phone and she's saying she's pissed at Eric. Howard got her on the phone and she said that she's not doing that good. Howard said he heard that she made out with him and now he's saying that he doesn't want to be with her. Eric said that's basically what he's saying. Kendra said he didn't say that to her when she was with him.
Howard asked Eric what was going on there. Eric said that he's not sure what happened. He said he had a good time and everything. Kendra figured it was the strip club that opened his eyes and now he wants to play the field. She said that it was her idea to go.
Howard said he's getting the feeling that they're making this all up to get out of this whole thing because he could see Eric laughing on camera. Gary said that everyone out there was going nuts and Steve Langford had a story about how he was breaking the story that this was all a scam. Eric got upset and said that it wasn't a scam though.
Steve Langford came in and said that they wouldn't let them cover the story. Eric was trying to explain it but Steve was talking over him. Eric said that they were going to invite Steve out there but he screwed it up. He told Steve to go the fuck back to Canada. He said that they interviewed someone who was full of shit last week. Steve said that guy had e-mails and voice mails that proved that this was a big scam.
Howard asked Kendra what was really going on here. She said that she didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said that he wanted Eric to swear on the life of his mother that he was telling the truth about this thing. Eric said that he swore on his mother's life that this was not prearranged. He said that there was a wacko stalker who was going after Jim Florentine and Shuli and she was the one who was telling these stories about him and Kendra.
Howard said that he wanted to get their right. He asked Eric if that was true that he wanted to date other women even after meeting Kendra. Jimmy said he didn't get why he was laughing when he was talking about that stuff. He asked Eric why he was doing that. Eric said that he just smiles when he looks at her and that's why he was smiling when he was doing that.
Howard said that Kendra is the only one who is talking to him that way and there isn't a field to play. Jimmy said that he was examining Eric's body and he thinks that he can't reach the front of his own body and he may not be able to have sex with Kendra. He said that it would be like a World War II veteran who can't have sex. Howard asked Eric if he can have sex. Eric said he is able to do that with any woman.
Howard asked Kendra to tell them how far she went with Eric. She was silent for a moment and then said that she didn't have sex with him. She said that she wouldn't tell everyone if she did do anything. She said that he didn't touch her boobs.
Howard said that just a week ago Eric was singing love songs to Kendra. He replayed that cover of ''Wild Thing'' that Eric performed for her. They had edited it and changed the lyrics a little bit. He played the real song after that one.
Howard said that Kendra must have turned Eric off somehow. She wasn't sure what happened there. Eric said that she didn't smell bad or anything like that. Jimmy was cracking jokes about Eric's body and Eric said that today he was acting like a piece of shit like the piece of shit show he was calling into. He didn't like it at all.
Jimmy said that he was shocked when he met Eric. He said that he told him that maybe he shouldn't base his meeting her on just one meeting. Eric asked Kendra if he could go out with her now that Eric is done with her. He said that he'll be out in Arizona soon and he'd like to talk to her. She said that she needs to talk to Eric off the air about this before she can do that. The guys told her that she just dissed her on national radio and now is the time to talk to him.
Kendra said that she had someone else who could confirm what went on this weekend. Steve Langford said that they have some proof that this is a scam. He said they have a picture of Kendra that she sent to this guy Patrick who claims that this was all set up and one big scam.
Steve asked Kendra about the exchanges she had with Patrick where she said that she's in on this whole thing. Eric said that they're doctored and they're not real. Steve didn't sound convinced.
Howard said that if Kendra was really hurt by Eric, she should just say something to him now. Howard said he wanted to get to the bottom of this whole thing. He wants to have both of them in to take lie detector tests. Jimmy said that they should have him fly with balloons if he's lying. Gary said he heard that Eric doesn't want to do it unless they can get him on ''Moment of Truth.''
Howard played a bunch of the Eric the... clips. Eric interrupted and said that this guy Patrick is a guy who will do anything to try and take them down in the JFSC. Howard asked Kendra to swear on the life of her mom that this wasn't fixed. She did do that.
Howard asked Eric what happened when he met Kendra that turned him off to her. He wanted him to be honest with her. He said he owes that to her. Eric said that he doesn't know what went wrong. Eric let out a few sighs and said he's not sure what it was that went wrong.
Howard asked Eric why he doesn't like her now. He said that he just doesn't feel like he's in love with her now. He said that he can't put his finger on one thing. He said that she's definitely hot. Howard kept digging and asking what it was that went wrong. Eric was quiet and wasn't coming up with any answers.
Steve said that they got a note from Eric last week explaining how he and Kendra were getting to know each other. Eric said that he thinks that the field isn't empty like the guys were saying. He said that he's not sure he could find someone better than Kendra, but there are women who tell him that they wish he were single.
Howard said that Johnny Fratto was on the phone and he knows what's going on. He said that the other dancer is what went wrong. He said that she must have put something in his head at the strip club. He said that's when that fucker changed.
Howard asked Eric if that was true. Eric said yes so the guys asked him what she said to him that changed him. Eric said that he wasn't sure but it was something dirty. Robin said she must have turned him on and Kendra didn't.
Johnny said that Kendra was doing all kinds of things to help Eric out when they were hanging out. She was helping him open his food and stuff like that. Johnny asked Eric if he had a good time with her. He said he did. Robin figures that Kendra was treating Eric like a baby but the stripper treated him like a man.
Steve said that the guy who is blowing the lid off of all of this stuff is willing to take a lie detector test. Johnny said that guy lied about some other stuff and he wondered if he's going to be tested on that too.
Howard said he wanted to bring and end to this. He thanked Jimmy for getting up early to do this. He also thanked Eric and Kendra for calling in but he wanted to know what was really going on there.
Gary said that he's heard that there's some stuff going on out there between Johnny and Mutt's web site and this is some big convoluted plan for Johnny to take over SFN. Johnny said that's not true at all. He said that he and Mutt are fine and he knows that there were some doctored e-mails that were trying to make him look bad.
Howard gave Jimmy some plugs for his show and then asked Eric if he felt bad breaking it off with Kendra like this. Eric said he did. Howard congratulated him on his active social life. He gave Kendra a plug for her web site KendrasSecret.com. Artie told them all to take their collective web sites and shove them up their asses.
Howard said that Steve-O was there and they had to get to him. He was drunk already from what he heard. He went to break a short time later.
Steve, who had apparently been drinking heavily, was rambling on about some guy by the name of Big Reg and how he was telling him that Howard didn't want him plugging his shit, he wants a sacrificial lamb in there. Howard said that everyone is worried about Steve-O today. Robin said that he's always like that, she's not sure why they'd be worried.
Steve was slurring his words and going on and on about something about Eminem and not making a whole lot of sense. Steve said that Eminem is over now. Howard asked Steve what he was drinking this morning and he rambled something unintelligible.
Steve went off on Martha Stewart and said that she's a liar and should have been in jail for a lot longer. He said that she can't fuck with Howard Stern and told her to go home or back to jail and ''fuck you, die.'' then he threw in a plug for his web site SteveO.com.
Howard asked Steve about the drugs he's doing now. Steve said that he has been smoking some marijuana but nothing else. Howard said there were some reports that he was at the Gene Simmons Roast and doing some other stuff. Steve said that's bullshit and he doesn't care about that.
Howard asked Steve about his new album (The Dumbest Asshole In Hip Hop) and about the kind of money he's making doing all of this stuff. Steve said that he's got a lot of money but he didn't need it to get drugs back when he was in the circus. He said that's how talented he is.
Steve said that he makes people happy for a living and that's why he feels he can do all of the drugs that he wants to do. He said that he does all kinds of stupid shit for the MTV awards and stuff like that. He did a stunt recently where he made a crown of beer cans and smashed them all. He said you can see that stunt on JackassWorld.com.
Howard said that he just saw Bam Margera recently at the Scott Greenstein bar mitzvah. Steve said that Bam does coke and Johnny does amphetamines. He felt he should get a plug for his Myspace page (Myspace.com/steveoarmy) after that revelation. He said that he's trying to get as many people on his friend's list as possible. Then he said that he was out smoking weed in the hall there at the show. Howard said that can't be possible but Steve said that's what he was doing out in the hall.
Howard asked Steve about who he's endorsing for President. He said that Obama is the only way this country is going to survive. He went on to give his drunken rant about why he thinks that Obama should be President. Robin said she didn't think that he even knew about politics.
Howard played some of Steve's new album and then quickly changed subjects. He asked Steve about the Jackass guys and what's going on with them. Steve then revealed that he just got married himself. He said that her name is Brittany Glover McGraw and you can find her online if you search for her. He said that he's a ''one gash man'' now. He said that they actually haven't even had a ceremony so they're technically not married. He said that his grandmother has been asking him to make a baby too.
Howard asked Steve when the next Jackass movie is going to come out. Steve said he can't comment on that officially. He said that they're working on it now though.
Howard asked Steve what kind of drugs he's doing now. He said that he's been doing some PCP and cat amphetamines. Then Steve asked the guys to bring in this guy Big Reg who has to keep him under control. They brought him in a short time later. He said that they disrespected Big Reg on the Dr. Steve-O show and that's why he quit the show.
Howard asked Big Reg about trying to handle Steve-O and what that's like. Reg said that he's a rapper himself and he almost had an album out but Eazy-E died before it came out and he never was able to release it.
Howard asked Steve how he was able to get a commercial for this Orbit gum he's promoting. Steve passed Artie the joint that he was smoking earlier and Artie said he was getting a contact high from it. Howard asked him not to take a hit from it. He said it was still burning when Steve put it in his pocket.
Howard took some phone calls for Steve-O and told them that they can't be doing that stuff in the studio. He let some callers ask Steve some questions and one guy brought up how Steve had stolen Big Reg from Paris Hilton's security crew. Steve was going on and on about the story so Howard asked him to take a breather.
Howard asked Big Reg what happened with Steve and Paris. Reg said that he distracted some security guards so Steve could get into this club and they were all brought up on charges of assault and trespassing.
Howard asked Reg about what he used to do for a living. He used to sell crack out on the streets. Steve said that Reg used to sell to Todd Bridges. Steve said that Big Reg isn't part of his security now, he's actually on his rap crew. Howard had Reg rap a little bit. He did a little rap about Howard and his show.
Howard asked Steve about Paris and what kind of relationship he's got with her. Steve said he's never tried to bang her, he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with her. He said that he has done coke with her before but he's not going to make a sacrificial lamb out of her.
Steve said that whenever he leaves the show he always wonders what the headline is going to be. He figured that it'll be something about him doing coke with Paris. Howard was going to play some more of Steve's rap album. He played ''Poke the Puss'' and told him that he may be on to something there. He said that he's lying in the song about not wearing rubbers. He said that he actually does wear them all the time.
Howard listened to more of the song and said he's not sure what he's singing about in some of that. They wrapped up with Steve a short time later. Steve got in some more plugs for his web site and album and all of that stuff. He said that he was giving Howard a bootleg copy of this new movie he has out too. Howard told him to get some sleep for god's sake. Artie told him not to let any of that weed end up in his drawer. Reg said that they'd make sure that didn't happen. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Robin interrupted the flow when Howard heard her typing on her computer. She said she had to send a note to someone. Howard eventually got it out of her that it was her masseuse who she was sending the message to. She had to cancel a massage because her schedule was being changed.
Howard said that David Alan Grier must be living a nightmare with Britney Spears on his street. In the clip Garver asks David a couple of questions and had him talking about using the N-word. David said that black people use the N-word with each other like a Jew might use the word ''kike'' within their family or something. Howard cut it off and said that the funny thing is that Jews don't do that.
Howard got back to the clip and David said that he listens to Howard every day. Then Garver asked him about Britney Spears and that's when he talked about how crazy things are in his neighborhood now that she lives there. He said that he wishes that her and her whole hillbilly clan would go back to wherever they came from. He said that things have changed in the neighborhood and there are always 50 cars parked on the street and it's just crazy.
Howard said it must be crazy for a guy like that who has something so crazy going on around him. He said he can't even walk down the street because he doesn't want to deal with it. Artie said that it must be bad because those guys probably leave garbage all over and things like that.
Howard said he read a story about Puff Daddy moving into a neighborhood and how Rosie O'Donnell got upset about all of the parties he was throwing all the time. Artie said that Howard pointed out what went on with Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck when they were living in his building. Howard said that he's never seen anything like it. There were so many paparazzi around that people couldn't even walk out on the street.
Howard said that he ran out of the building the other day to go to the gym and didn't even think about what he put on. He said he was walking down the street and a bunch of paparazzi started snapping pictures of him. He said that he pulled his coat up over his head and told the guys he didn't look his best. They didn't care and kept snapping. Then a video crew came up to him and asked him about Adam Carolla on Dancing with the Stars. He said he didn't want to answer that because he doesn't care if he does that show, although it will be kind of funny to see him dressing up and dancing.
Artie didn't know that Adam was going to be doing that show. He said that's pretty funny. Howard wondered where all of the paparazzi came from out there and it turns out that Steve Gutenberg is going to be on Dancing with the Stars so that's why they were all there. He said that they don't have to stake him out though. Howard figured that Steve would move in and let them take pictures of him all the time.
Artie read the list of celebrities that are going to be on Dancing with the Stars and there were a bunch of B-list people on it. Howard said that a lot of those people get jobs from doing that show. He mentioned Lisa Rinna and then read an article about her where they said that she might be the worst interviewer ever. Howard said he thinks that she's doing much better than she was before he gave her some advice.
Howard said that Gary Garver got an interview with Sienna Miller. He played that clip where Gary asked her about who she was and if she likes Howard Stern. She said that she does like Howard Stern but then called him a ''filth bag.''
Howard said that he saw Regis Philbin doing some interviews with people and he was getting people's names wrong. Howard said that he doesn't understand why the guy does that kind of stuff if he cares so little to even learn people's names.
Howard played Gary's interview with Reese Witherspoon. Her publicist was telling him to get lost but once she came over she did a quick interview with him. Her people were pushing him away but Reese actually did a quick interview and then brushed him off herself, nicely.
Howard said that Beth went out for a walk the other day and she had just gotten out of the shower so she asked the guys not to do any interviews. Now they've gone off on him. He played a clip where they had him asking the paparazzi not to do an interview with him because it wasn't a good time for him. They also had Beth blowing them off the day before too.
Howard said that he wants to know who this woman is so he can send people over to her house to watch her every move. Gary came in and said that someone should follow them around the way they have their paparazzi following them around. Howard said that this woman on TMZ is a cunt and he really does want to send people out to watch her. He said that he'll talk to anyone on a red carpet but when he's at his house he doesn't want to do an interview. Gary said that the TMZ people follow people around to their cars and annoy the shit out of everyone.
Howard said that a photographer was taking shots of him one night and a cab hit him. He said he was happy when that happened.
Gary said that the guy who owns TMZ is this guy Harvey Levin and he's openly gay. It turns out that Alec Baldwin got so pissed about them going after him that he went out and outed this guy Harvey. Howard said he really doesn't care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Artie is great on the show and when he's out there's a little something missing. He told Artie that he's the man. He repeated that a few times before Howard let him go. Another caller said that he saw Howard on TMZ and it was actually kind of amusing. Artie said that report was extra cunty though.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if they saw Gary Busey just about attacking Jennifer Garner. Howard said he would play it but it was more visual. He said that Gary walked up on stage and Jennifer Garner probably had no idea who he was. Howard played some of the audio even though he thought it might be too long. In the clip you hear Busey interrupting Ryan Seacrest and Ryan kind of brushing him off. Then Ryan does an interview with some women. Then Busey starts kissing Jennifer Garner on the neck and won't let her go. Howard described what was going on in the clip as the audio was playing.
Howard said that he just looked like shit that day and that's why he didn't want to do any interviews that day. He said that he appreciated Harvey calling in and apologizing. He said he was really sorry to Beth and Howard for what they did.
Robin asked if they're going to do anything on the TV show to apologize. Harvey asked Howard if they got any interviews with him this weekend. Howard said he didn't think they did but there are just times when he doesn't want to do any interviews.
Harvey said that the next time they get something on Howard they'll say some nice stuff about him. Howard thanked him for that. He let him go a short time later. Gary said that they tracked Harvey down so he didn't call in on his own. Howard said that he still appreciates him apologizing for that.
Howard heard a strange noise and figured it was coming from Robin's booth. She eventually found that it was one of her two phones ringing in her bag. She said that she has a back up phone and that's the one that was ringing. She said that it was outside of her door and they could still hear it. Robin tried to shut it off but the alarm was still going off. Howard said that there's nothing wrong with the phone, it's the operator. Robin said that the phone was just going off now but it was supposed to go off at 2:30. She had to get up that early because she was at her Jersey Shore house over the weekend. Artie said he's going to have to change his schedule now too and Robin will have to train him.
Howard asked Robin if Jim Florentine was at her house. She said that he wasn't there, it was just her cats. Howard and Artie asked her about having Jim down there for a romantic weekend but she said that he hasn't been there for that.
Howard said that they talked about Gary Coleman recently since he had gotten married. He did another interview where he talked about how he's still a virgin at the age of 40. Howard played a clip of Gary talking about that and how he doesn't choose to be one, it just happens. He said that he's not sure what the problem is. He said that it will happen eventually.
Howard wondered what was going on there. He said he needs to interview that guy and told Gary to book him for the show.
Howard said that he had another audio clip where this reporter says ''sperm'' instead of ''spam'' while talking about e-mail.
Gary came in and said that a fan sent in pictures of Robin and Jim holding hands out in San Francisco over vacation. Howard saw the picture and showed it to Artie. Gary read the letter they got from the fan who sent in the picture. Robin didn't have a lot to say about it. She said that she didn't even know that it was happening because no one said they were taking a picture.
Robin said that maybe Jim was just helping her across the street like an old lady in that picture. Howard said that Robin did say she wanted a young man in her life and now she has it. Robin said that he's not inappropriately young though. He's in his early 40s and Robin is 55.
Howard said that every year around this time they do a Anatomy Awards thing with the best of the nude scenes. Howard read the first one which was for the best breasts. It was a 21 year old by the name of Keeley Hazell in the movie ''Cashback.'' The guys checked out her picture and said that she's got about an E-cup. Howard figured that's what Robin's boobs look like.
Up next was Best Underwear and it was Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. Then it was Best TV show For Nude Scenes which was ''Tell Me You Love Me.'' They spent a minute on those two categories. Mr. Skin said that you know a show is great when you see a woman's asshole in a TV show like that. They show very graphic shots like that.
Howard said that they have Best Cartoon Poon and Beowulf was the winner in that one with Angelina Jolie's great looking body being used in the animation. Howard asked Mr. Skin if he's beat off to cartoons before. He said that he has.
Best Movie Short was ''Hotel Chavaleier'' with Natalie Portman in it. He said that she's naked in that scene but you just see her ass. Kelly Garner won for Best Bush from the movie ''Havoc 2.'' Mr. Skin said that you don't get a full bush, just half in that scene.
Mr. Skin said that Katherine Moening from The L Word did a scene with another woman and she won for Best Sex Scene. Mr. Skin had the Best Child Star Nude Scene and Christina Ricci won that one. He said that was in Black Snake Moan. Howard said she's got a fabulous body now.
Howard said that Mr. Skin is celebrating nudity in film. They had a shot of one woman showing the best Ass Crack on an ABC TV show. Mr. Skin said that they let that slip through but at Mr. Skin they go through frame by frame and pull pieces like that out.
Howard said that the next category was Best Thong. Mr. Skin said that it was Cameron Richardson who was the winner there. Breast Picture was ''Good Luck Chuck'' because they had 13 different topless girls and Jessica Alba in her underwear in that one.
Howard asked about a couple more so here are some of those. Best Butt - Gabrielle Richens in ''Hack.'' Best Major League Enhanced Breasts - Jessica Canseco in ''Getting It.''
Artie was thrown off by the nice tits on that Jessica Canseco chick. The guys talked about some other actresses who were pretty hot. Howard had to wrap up a short time later. Howard went through a couple of other winners and kept saying he was going to wrap up. He asked Mr. Skin which of the child stars are looking to see naked. Mr. Skin said that they get a lot of mail about Dakota Fanning and when she's going to finally do something nude. He said that the Olson Twins are getting some requests too.
Mr. Skin asked what Howard thought about Lindsay Lohan's recent topless shots. Howard said he didn't like the look of those boobs but Fred said that if they're natural, like Mr. Skin was saying, then they are nice. Mr. Skin also said that Marissa Tomei appeared topless in a movie called ''Before the Devil Knows You're Dead'' and they wanted to give her an award for that. She's 43 years old but she looks amazing according to Mr. Skin. Howard said she did look good and she has some big areolas and pencil eraser nips.
Artie said that Dana always reminded him of Marissa Tomei. That led to Howard asking Artie about his relationship with her and if anything has changed. He said that things haven't changed. He said that he's still not together with her. Howard said that Artie had a ton of chicks down in Atlantic City who were into him. Artie said that he did have a few who were into him there.
Howard got in a plug for the Man Boob contest they have coming up soon. They're still looking for guys to enter that contest.
Fred asked Mr. Skin what movie had the most topless women in it from last year. They figured it was American Gangster. Mr. Skin said that was probably right. Artie said that the scene in New Jack City when the girls were making heroin was the hottest thing ever. He said that he hurt his cock jerking off to those girls.
Howard said that Mr. Skin should really have an awards show for this Anatomy Awards. Mr. Skin said that he's never tried to give an award to any of these winners but he figures there might be some ''skinterest'' in that. Howard had to end the interview a short time later. He went to break after giving Mr. Skin some more plugs.
Steve said that Big Foot was going to have himself committed last week but then backed out. now he's saying that he may have to get himself arrested to have a place to sleep. Steve said they have another story from Defamer.com where they say that Artie has shot to the top of the celebrity death watch list.
Steve also mentioned that Chuck Zito's show is on tonight at 7. Greg Fitzsimmons' show is on at Midnight and his special guest is Ray Romano.
Jon Hein came in with a preview of the Wrap Up Show. He said they'll be talking about Jimmy Kimmel calling this morning to talk about Eric the Midget. They'll talk about Eric and Kendra as well. They're going to talk about Steve-O's visit and more.
Howard said they have a new contest coming up where you can Win Jon Hein's money if you know TV history more than he does.
Howard said that he got a note from Lennon Murphy and she was correcting them on something they said about Yoko Ono going after her about the copyright. Howard and Robin didn't understand what the correction was about though.
Artie mentioned that George Takei has scolded him for not doing the PSA he promised to do about the use of the word ''fag.'' He said he saved the message and he'll play it on the air if George okays it.
Robin got into her news and read a story about The Globe saying that they have proof that a man had sex with Barack Obama. They also claim that Barack got him cocaine.
Robin read a story about OJ Simpson's girlfriend being under 24 hour surveillance to keep an eye on her and OJ has been banned from the hospital after she showed up there with head injuries. Artie said they turned down some jokes that he wanted to use on Conan's show last week about OJ.
Howard read some e-mail about Richard Lewis' appearance 2 weeks ago. Howard said that a lot of people wrote in about how great it was but then someone sent in an e-mail saying that it was an awful appearance. He said that the thing that really generated a lot of e-mail was Eric the Midget's love song to Kendra. He read through some of that mail. One guy said he had coffee come out his nose when he laughed at it. Another guy said it was worth the subscription price just to hear that song. Howard played the song a short time later. Howard said that the odd thing about Eric's life is that he's always in his room alone. He did the song over the phone and not even in the studio with the guy playing guitar.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man got a hold of Eric's song and edited it. That's what Howard played for Eric earlier in the show. He threw in a bunch of Eric lines that were edited to make him say some dirty stuff.
Artie said he thought that Richard Lewis was great on the show. Howard said he really was good with Artie that day.
Howard said that he doesn't get this Barack Obama thing and why so many people think he's so great. He thinks that the guy is like a televangelist who just has a good rap and has people fooled. Howard went on to talk about some of the stuff he saw about this Barack Obama during vacation. He said that he saw this interview on MSNBC where they asked about his legislative accomplishments and the supporter didn't have an answer for them. The guys spent a few minutes going over what they've heard about Obama and what might happen if they don't use Hillary Clinton as the democratic nominee.
Howard brought an end to the conversation a short time later. He said that there's really nothing going on there with Obama and it's all hype right now. He said that it's turning into a rock star thing with him and he really doesn't want that kind of thing getting someone elected president. He said that he's going to stick by Clinton and hopes that she gets the nomination because she's got someone there who has gone through the presidency and knows what to expect.
Howard asked Robin to move on and said that Hillary should come on the show and maybe ride the Sybian. Robin said that she ran into Michael Bloomberg and asked him if he's going to be running for president. He told her that he can't tell her that because she might tell other people. Robin said that he knew who she was when she saw him out at lunch one day.
Robin read through some more stories about the presidential primaries and about Super Delegates. She talked about Fidel Castro stepping down as the leader of Cuba while they were away on vacation. Howard talked about how they have no idea what's going on around the world down there because Castro has kept the country in the dark for so long.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not sure why he's so against Barack Obama. Howard said he's not against him, he just thinks that Hillary is a better choice. He said that he likes Barack better than George Bush. The caller said that Howard should be all for Barack because he doesn't take money from any special interest groups. Howard said, jokingly, that he was going to switch because of that call.
Robin read a story about the FCC fining a bunch of TV stations for airing a show where they showed some scenes of bachelor and bachelorette parties. Each station was being fined $7,000 each.
Robin read a story about Steven Spielberg having dated Valerie Bertinelli. She talks about that and some other things in a new book she has coming out. She talks about a lesbian experience and cheating on her husband, Eddie Van Halen. Howard said it's too bad she didn't admit to killing Nicole Brown Simpson, then it would be a really interesting book.
Robin read a story about a man who was bitten by a shark down in Florida. She asked Howard if he was interested in seeing the offspring of celebrities. Howard said that he's kind of curious about seeing J-Lo's new twins but he doesn't think it's worth the $3-6 million that's being offered by People Magazine. Artie said that's just creepy that they offer that kind of money for pictures like that. Howard said the sad thing is that Gilbert Gottfried was never asked for pictures of his child.
Robin read a story about a woman who killed some of her kids and then tried to kill herself. Fred threw in a few Jackie laughing audio clips while she was talking about that. Howard said that when Jackie was on the show people thought that he was actually laughing and would get pissed off at him. Artie said that's like Robin's cell phone clip that Fred plays now.
Robin talked about the Academy Awards that were on last night and how she thought that Anne Hathaway looked amazing. Howard said that she's too young to be dressing the way she does. He said that the best looking woman there was Jennifer Garner. He said that John Travolta looked very odd too with that hair piece he was wearing. Robin asked if that could possibly be the same guy who was in Saturday Night fever.
The guys spent a couple of minutes going over some of the winners at the Academy Awards last night. Howard seemed to agree that No Country for Old Men deserve the win for Best Picture. He said that it really was a good movie.
Howard played some of the clips of the songs that were nominated for the best music. He said that it was all bullshit and they were all horrible. He said that Big Orange Marble (a reference to Jackie the Joke Man's ex-wife Nancy's old band) was better than that stuff.
Howard played some clips of Jon Stewart doing some of his stuff at the Academy Awards. He thought he did just fine as the host. Robin had some other clips from some award winners acceptance speeches and stuff like that. They wrapped up a short time later and ended the show around 11:05am.
Artie said that his comedy thing and hanging with his friends reminded him of the days when he was out trying to make it big in the comedy world. He said that they all went out to some bars and hung out eating and drinking at some great places. He said that he ended up going out all night and crashed at a friend's house a couple of nights.
Artie said that his friend always told him that he wasn't going to make it past 3 weeks working the hours he has to work on the show. He said that he still hasn't been able to get used to it after 7 years.
Gary said that really threw Jackie off too when they first went to mornings. He said that Jackie would be passed out on the couch when he'd come in on a Monday morning.
Artie said that the same thing happened to him and he'd have to crash after a weekend of doing comedy shows. He said he was trying to pull all nighters so he could stay out and drink and do his shows and then do the Stern Show. He said that he realized that it was more important to be funny on the Stern Show than anywhere else.
Jon said that they're going to talk about a lot of stuff including Artie's weekend in Atlantic City with Jeff the Drunk. Artie said that he's pissed that Teddy isn't back yet. He's over in Italy and didn't make it back because he missed his flight back last week. He said that it really pissed him off and he wanted to tell him to stay over there and not come back after he got a text from him telling him what was going on.
Artie said that Jim and JD came down to A.C. with him and handled all of his buddies down there. they had a sold out room of 2,600 people. He said the show went real well and he had an hour of new material that he was doing. Artie explained how Howard showed up to the show and how much fun he had there. He was insulated from the bullshit of Jeff the Drunk and the other stuff that went on back stage though.
JD said that he had to put up with Jeff back stage. He had a bunch of other stuff to do there though. Jim said that they really treat people well back stage there at the Borgata but Jeff was such a pain in the ass. They were threatening to throw out Jeff the Drunk because he was smoking back there in the dressing room. They don't allow smoking there so Jim told them to just throw him out of they had to.
Gary said that Jeff has no right to be complaining about anything. They got him a nice room in the Borgata and he only had to go on stage for 10 seconds. He said that he still had the balls to complain about it. Jim said that Jeff was even selling his CDs outside of the venue too.
Gary said that if Jeff could just put together 2 minutes of material, Artie would probably use him more. It sounds like he comes completely unprepared. Artie said that some people think that the stand-up thing is no big deal but you really need something to say up there. Jeff the Drunk apparently suffers from that and he has nothing to say.
Gary said that Beetlejuice is able to be himself up on stage and keep the crowd entertained somehow. Artie said that Beetlejuice has got the presence of Richard Pryor on stage even if you can't understand a word he's saying.
The guys talked about Jeff and how he fell down back at K-Rock when he was leaving the show one day. They talked about how funny that video was. Gary said that he could watch that over and over again. Artie said that he thinks that it's the funniest thing that has ever been on TV.
Gary asked Artie if Jeff has annoyed him out of a job yet. Artie said he hasn't but that probably has to do with Jim and JD handling all of the bullshit. He said that he just mailed Jeff a check today and he hopes he can cash it because he's not sure if he has a relationship with a bank. Jeff told him that he wanted it made out to cash but then he said that Jeff was okay. Gary said he could do a check cashing place if he had to.
Artie said that he had a teacher in high school who ended up marrying a student and went to work for her family, that may have been connected, and probably tripled his salary working at her family's check cashing place. He said that place took 15 percent off the top.
Artie said he had to get going. He got in a plug for a show he has coming up soon and Jon asked him about his Conan appearance last week. Artie said he loves doing that show and he's been doing it for almost a decade now. He said that Conan has been doing the show for 15 years now and that's 4 years longer than Letterman did his show at NBC.
Artie said that Conan is less stress to him than doing Letterman. He said he knows Conan well enough now that he's relaxed going on. He said that it was tough going on Howard's show too for the first time because he was a hero of his.
Gary said that Steve-O seems to be that break-out guy from Jackass that really seems to have set himself apart from the others.
Jon took a phone call from a guy who brought up how out of control Steve-O was today and how he kept cutting off Howard. The guy thinks that Steve is too out of control. He said that he should be more responsible about doing drugs and stuff too because he's a role model to a lot of kids. Gary said that it's up to the parents to control their kids and what they do.
Another caller said that Steve had to have been on something today other than the weed. Gary said that he claimed it was just the weed but he did talk about some of the other drugs he's into and that stuff was pretty hard core.
The caller thought that Howard kind of rushed Steve-O out of the studio but Gary said he didn't think that was the case. He said that Steve was kind of talking a little too much and it was a lot of just noise but it got good when Steve was rapping along to his album.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Steve should stick to being a rapper or not. Gary said he thinks that he's more of a Weird Al type of rapper and he's not sure if Steve is even taking it that seriously. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked if Howard really does talk to those people at times. Gary said that he thinks that he does talk to them once in a while and he's very nice about it. He said that he actually loves that TMZ show and watches it every night.
Shuli was in and asked Gary if he thinks that Harvey was sincere when he apologized. Gary thought he was but Shuli said that the guy knew it was coming, he admitted that he was worried about it all weekend. Gary said that Howard can trash someone every morning so that's why they wanted to bring a stop to it as quickly as possible.
Gary said that he saw the pictures of Marissa Tomei on MrSkin.com and she really did look great in that movie they talked about earlier this morning. Mr. Skin had some other categories that he wanted to get to during the show but they never did get to them. He talked about some of the stuff that they didn't get to. They talked about Holly Hunter's scenes that were shown on TNT and how surprising that was.
The guys were also talking about some of the other cable shows that are on and how graphic they've been getting lately. Mr. Skin said that even The L Word is getting more graphic with their sex scenes and they were already pretty out there.
Gary said that he's still waiting for that Evangeline Lily from ''Lost'' to do a nude scene. He said that he needs Lost to start sucking so she has to do something like that to revive her career. Mr. Skin said that's usually what happens. They either do a nude scene before they make it big or after their star has faded.
The guys talked about Molly Ringwald and how she didn't do a nude scene until she was in her 30s. They talked about how it was too late for her to be doing that kind of stuff though.
Jon asked about the Lindsay Lohan pictures that they were talking about earlier. Mr. Skin said that he thought that Howard was going to love those pictures but he didn't seem to be into them. Mr. Skin said that everyone is talking about them and this might be a great thing for her career. Gary said that she has no career though. She hasn't been in anything that made money.
Benjy asked Mr. Skin if they are real or not. Mr. Skin thinks that they're real but the pictures weren't moving so he can't give his professional thoughts on that without seeing them move.
A caller asked about Katie Holmes and if she's in anything topless. Mr. Skin said that she's in ''The Gift'' that was out in 2000. He said a lot of people were happy about seeing them.
Another caller asked Mr. Skin about the movie ''Knocked Up'' and how they used his web site in the movie. Mr. Skin said that he was more than happy to let them use it in the movie and trusted that they were going to use it in a positive way. He said that it was great publicity and they were able to make a fake page with ''Mr. Skin'' huge so everyone would see it during the movie. He said that it's going to be great when they start showing it on TV they'll get another big bump.
Shuli said that Mr. Skin can name movies that actresses have been in kind of like that show ''Name that Tune.'' He said they could call it Name that Poon. Gary threw out the name Kathy Bates to Mr. Skin and he was able to come up with a movie where she shows off some skin.
A caller asked Mr. Skin about Jessica Simpson and a nip slip that she had in a movie. Mr. Skin said that they actually analysed the shot the guy was talking about and said that it was more of a shadow than an actual nip slip.
Benjy asked about some accidental vagina shots that may have gotten out. Mr. Skin said that there was a movie that Susan Hayward did where her whole breast came out and they didn't censor it out. That was back in the 50s though. He said that there were some nip slips in Charlie's Angels that have just been found in recent days because of DVD. He said that they found a good one from one episode that they have up on MrSkin.com.
One caller said he thought that Jessica Alba was naked in a movie but Mr. Skin told him that it was a body double, not actually her breasts. Jon had to wrap up a short time later so he let everyone get in their plugs.
Howard started off the show with a clip from a local Buffalo station that was airing the Oscar's. They had an open mic there and they were talking over the show and it was way better than what was going on. Howard explained the clip and then played some of it. In the clip you can hear someone in the background saying that he didn't believe in the Oscar bullshit but the movie of the year was good. Howard said that it's kind of like Eric the Midget's show where he talks about American Idol.
Howard played more of the clip where a couple of people were discussing the movie ''No Country for Old Men.'' Howard interrupted and asked if anyone was watching the Terminator TV show. Robin said that she got into it finally. Howard said that he thinks that chick playing the Terminator is really hot but Robin didn't think so. Howard said that Robin has proven that she's heterosexual to him lately. He said that she's dating Jin Florentine and doesn't like the hot chick on that show. He said that a lot of people thought she was a lesbian for the longest time but not anymore.
Howard said that he never thought that Robin was gay. Same with Ralph. Robin said she thinks he might be but then said she was kidding. Howard said that dating Jim is a great idea because now people don't think she's gay.
Howard said that Robin is in the Honeymoon phase right now so things are still exciting. He said that he was talking to Beth about how she doesn't grab his penis anymore and she wondered why he doesn't tell her to do that. He said that in the past he never had to ask her to do it, she'd just do it. He doesn't want to ask her to do things like that.
Howard said that Robin might be falling in love with Jim and one of the must fun things you can do in that Honeymoon phase is to go on honeymoons. He said that they've been going to different places and they're probably fucking all over the place. Fred did his Jim impression and told Robin ''There's the Golden Gate Bridge... blow me.''
Howard asked Robin where she went last week. She said that she was in Napa Valley with Jim Florentine. Fred, as Jim, said that he was in Robin's Lap-a while they were in Napa. Howard said that Jim has become like one of Robin's girlfriends going out all over the place with her.
Robin said that Jim was in Napa with her until a Thursday after going out there on a Sunday. They spent most of the week together. Howard said that she's not going to care when the real honeymoon comes around. Howard said he used to bring Beth out to Hawaii and places like that when he was in that phase.
Howard asked Robin how she and Jim work the paying for stuff. Robin said she met him out there in California because he was already doing something out there. Robin said that she was going out there even if he wasn't there. He just happened to be there.
Robin said that people out in Napa take her out to dinner and pay for stuff for her because they like her. She said that Jim was picking up the tab out there too. Howard said that she must reward him handsomely. He said that she must put out like crazy for him. He figured that she puts on some lingerie for him since he knows that she must have some. He said that he's seen her in some stuff that is very close to lingerie and he can picture her in that stuff prancing around in front of Jim.
Robin said that she's not sure that this relationship can work out because Shuli was telling her a story about Jim and what he did to his girlfriend recently. He said that Jim farted in his car and closed the door and Shuli's girlfriend ended up throwing up from the smell. Artie said that Jim has some farts that are really nasty and he's seen Jim drop one and a whole group of people will disperse.
Robin said that she's never been around Jim when he farts so she figured that he had changed. She had Shuli swear that he had just done that recently and he did. Howard asked Robin if she really wanted to know what the real Jim is like. She said ''No!'' and that he's told her that he's matured and doesn't even do that stuff anymore.
Howard asked Robin if she was out drinking wine out in Napa. Robin said that's what you do all day out there. She said that you drink all day and at dinner, not just during dinner. She said that she goes to wineries and she has developed a palette for that stuff. She said she enjoys investigating wine like that. She said that she's not drinking it every day now, she may not have anymore for months.
Howard asked Robin about the wine drinking and if she eats while she drinks. She said that she just does the wine tasting, she doesn't have to eat with it. Howard asked if she could tell a good wine from a bad one if he set up a tasting. She said that she can only taste what she likes and doesn't like.
Robin said that Jim was trying to get her to do Jaeger shots with him when they were out. Howard said that he thought only 14 year olds did that. Robin said that she was out at a couple of places with Jim and found out that they had to do shots of the Jaeger with PBR which is Pabst Blue Ribbon. She said she learned all kinds of stuff out there.
Howard said that Robin and Jim must be connecting in some way and he thinks that it's good for her. Artie said that he's jealous and he'd like to be out there in Napa drinking some PBR with some shots.
Howard got back to the tape from Buffalo but he was right at the end of it already. He said that it was pretty funny. The guys spent a minute talking about what was said in the tape and Artie said that the guy's description of that movie ''No Country for Old Men'' was kind of like his uncle's description of Buffy the Vampire Slayer which was simply ''Jew broad fights vampires.''
Howard read the statement that the station released after letting that background audio air over the Oscar's. They apologized for what they did and said it didn't go on too long.
Eric said that the relationship wasn't a sham and they don't have to have sex just to make it real. Howard said that Eric is 32 years old and he's never gotten laid. Eric said that there are couples that go all the way through to their marriage night before having sex. Robin said that Gary Coleman is 40, married, and still a virgin.
Howard said that he thought that this girl was using Eric for publicity but he'd like to hear Eric's explanation about what went on there. Eric said that he was thinking about what he said yesterday and thought more about how he'd like to play a ''closer'' field because he and Kendra live so far apart. He said that it would cost them a lot of money to keep it going.
Eric was also upset about the way Jimmy Kimmel was treating him yesterday. He said that he treated him like an asshole. He was also upset about how upset Kendra got when he was talking about him like that. Howard said that Kendra wasn't spending any money to visit Eric and Eric wasn't spending any money on her either so he's not sure what money he's talking about.
Eric said that he didn't pay for that trip but Kendra did pay for her plane ticket to go out there to California. He said that Johnny paid for her hotel though. Robin asked him why he'd end it if she spent a couple hundred bucks.
Howard said that he thinks that he's done with this stuff but then Eric told him that he's done with him for good and hung up on him. Howard said that all good things come from this show and he tries to help Eric out and all he does is get pissed off and hang up on them. He said that he's the guy that got him on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and that's the way he treats him.
Robin thinks that Eric was caught in a lie and this is his way out of it. Howard said that he still hasn't come clean and he will call back.
Howard played the clip where Cramer was talking about how much time has been spent on this merger and how they've had 4 meetings over it and that's 3 more than they've had for bigger mergers in this country's history. Cramer went on to talk about the congressmen who are taking money from terrestrial radio companies. This is why the merger is being held up so long. Robin said that Jim mentioned ethanol during that discussion and she's read that it's a bunch of bull that ethanol can help our oil crisis and it's congressmen who are pushing for it because they're being paid off.
Howard played more of Cramer going off on the congressmen and naming names. He named a couple of guys who have taken around 10 grand and they're being paid off with that small amount of money. Cramer said they called this one guy but they didn't get back to them about this merger. Cramer named a second congressman who took some money. That one wouldn't return their calls either. Cramer named a couple of others who took money from the NAB.
Howard said that Cramer had some great explanations of what's going on with this merger and how no one is bothering to look at how cars are being produced with iPod connections but no one is worried about that. Cramer named a few more names in the clips Howard was playing. Cramer was calling all of the congressmen out and asking them to come on his show and explain to him why this is getting so much time and why they think that it's a bad thing for Americans.
Howard said that he only played about 3 minutes of a 12 minute rant. He said that it was a great segment and Jim made some good points. He said that they're really trying to slow this whole thing down so both companies will go bankrupt. So far they're doing a good job because the merger has been delayed over a year now.
Howard said that there's all kinds of competition but they still think that this is some kind of monopoly. He said that Jim was saying that he has XM in one car and SIRIUS in another car. He likes to listen to football games on SIRIUS and other stuff on XM. Howard said that they should just stand up and give an answer instead of dragging this out so long.
Howard took another couple of calls. Melrose Larry Green called in and said ''fuck Eric the Midget, he's yesterday's news'' and then went on to say that he thinks that Robin and Jim will end up getting married some day. He said that he thinks that they're getting along so well that they will end up getting married. Howard said that he agrees with Larry and he thinks that they will get married.
Another caller said that he thinks that Robin and Jim are really getting along really well and he can't believe how thin Robin is looking these days. Howard said that her ass really looks good and he thinks that she was checking out the picture that the fan took of her and Jim walking in San Francisco holding hands.
Robin said that she wasn't checking out that picture, she doesn't like looking at herself. Another phone caller pointed out that she has a giant picture of herself in her house. That guy said that he actually enjoyed the Steve-O interview yesterday. Howard said that he liked it too but the e-mail feedback about him was very negative.
Howard read through some of the e-mail about Steve-O's interview and how messed up he sounded. Some people wondered what he did before he came in there. It was all negative e-mail. The caller said that it reminded him of the Sam Kinison or Joe Walsh days when they'd come in all wasted. Howard read through a few more e-mails and they were all negative toward Steve-O.
Howard asked Artie if he's going to try and get himself into shape to go over there. Fred said that he really should because it's not going to be easy to get around over there. Artie said that he'll be fine. Fred said that he really has to do something to get into shape.
Howard told Artie that he should pull himself together before he goes. Artie said that it would be better to die over there doing that than die after doing some tiny club in some small town here in this country.
Howard asked Riley what the name of the club is. Riley thought it was Bob Levy's comedy club and it's located at a Ramada Inn in Levittown, PA. Artie said he's doing a couple of nights there himself. He said that Bob is desperate to book anyone he can there.
Riley said that he's going to be doing some comedy at the club, but just a little bit. He said that he will let the audience decide how long his set is. Artie laughed when he heard that. Riley said that if he went to see Artie he'd want him to leave the stage when he was about ready to puke.
Howard said he wants to send the Howard TV crew there to film this comedy act. Riley said that he'd be fine with that. He said that he'd like Howard and the guys to come out and see him sometime. He got in a couple of plugs for the shows he's doing this Friday and Saturday night.
JD asked if Riley will be doing karaoke there at the club because that's one of the things they do there. Riley said that he would be willing to do that because he can sing. He said that he can get paid more doing this appearance than he gets paid to do his show there at SIRIUS. Howard said that they pay him to do the show so he can make money doing gigs like this.
Riley was still upset that he doesn't make as much money as he thinks he should. Howard told him to stop doing it then. He said that if he's not happy he should go elsewhere. Riley said that's what he will do when his next contract negotiation is up.
Howard said that he has nothing to do with the negotiations there or what they pay Riley. Riley seems to think that he does have something to do with that though. Howard asked Riley what kind of money he's making doing his ''other shows'' that he's doing. Riley said that he is making money from the sponsors he has on his other shows and he doesn't need to be treated the way he's treated there.
Howard said that he wanted an intelligent answer and asked him why he doesn't leave this place if he doesn't like what he's getting paid. Riley said that he knows that the show is popular and he doesn't want to leave. He said he'd like more time to do his show every week. Howard told Riley that Tim Sabean is in charge of what kind of time they give Riley one hour a week so that's what he gets.
Howard asked Riley why he keeps signing contracts if he's not happy with the money he's making. Riley said that he's proven that he's a viable entity and he's hoping that they'll recognize that and pay him more. Riley said he has a couple of months left on his contract there. Howard said that if they offer him another contract, what is he going to do? Riley went on to insult Howard by calling him names and telling him that he's cheap. He wanted him to do the right thing for once in his life.
Howard told Riley that he gives no one a job and doesn't pay anyone anything. Riley said he does have a staff but Howard said that he can just imagine what he's paying those people. Howard said that no one is stopping Riley from going out and getting a terrestrial radio show. Riley told Howard that he'd like to see the company succeed and he likes Howard and the guys. He said that it's no skin off their nose to pay him what he deserves.
Howard said that he likes Riley so much that he thinks that they should just drop the contract at the end of the run and let him go. He doesn't want him to have this anger toward him. He said that it's probably time for him to move on to other things so he doesn't have this anger and hate toward him.
After Howard gave Riley the advice about moving on, Riley went off on him saying that they've never treated him right and they've said some things about him that just aren't true. Howard said he's sorry he ever offered him this slot. He said that this has only caused him to have delusions of grandeur. Riley said that if he didn't want to be there, he wouldn't be. Howard told Riley that he has nothing to do with what anyone else there gets paid. He said that they all go to SIRIUS and ask to be paid. He said that he's said that about Riley but Riley seems to think he has something to do with what he gets paid when he doesn't.
Howard said he's suggested to them that they pay Riley more but if they can't see to it to give him more, he has no control over that. Riley said that's all he wants Howard to do. Howard and Robin told him that he's done that already but Riley doesn't seem to think that's what he's doing.
Howard said that he thinks that Riley should be getting $10 million to do his show. Riley said that's great, he just needs to tell the right people that. Howard said that he really needs to go out to other companies to see what kind of jobs are out there. He said that would be a great bargaining chip for him to have. He told Riley to go out and do that now.
Howard gave Riley some plugs for the show he's doing at Bob Levy's comedy club. He asked him some more questions about what he'll be doing there. He said that he'll be selling some merchandise there after doing his time on stage. Robin asked Riley about what color his wife is. Riley said that she has skin and wouldn't say that she was white. Gary said that she is white and she's pretty good looking too. Robin wondered about that because he was saying stuff about her and Jim Florentine dating. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. She came in and said that they have a sad piece of news to report this morning. Artie's grandma Caprio died two mornings ago. Artie said that she had become a bit of a celebrity after Howard did the impression of her. He said that the paramedics knew who she was and they moved her to the front of the line and gave her a private room because of that whole Grandma Caprio thing that Howard had been doing.
Artie said that his grandmother was very close with him and she was his mother's mother. Robin said that Howard is going to have to do his impression as if she was calling from the other side. Howard tried that out and did his impression for a few seconds as if he were calling in from Heaven.
Howard said that Nick DiPaolo asked him to get up on stage down at the Borgata last week. He said he almost did it and he was going to do his Grandma Caprio impression. He said that he decided against it though. Howard went into his Grandma Caprio impression and asked Artie if Dana is going to come to her funeral. Artie said that she probably will. Artie also said that this was very touching.
Grandma asked Artie not to bring any of his Vegas whores to the funeral. She just wants Dana there. Artie aid that it's really sad because she was like the last connection they had to that generation in his family. He said that the funeral is tomorrow and he had to get a suit to wear to it. He said he had to let out his pants from one suit he had. He said that he just had them altered and he hates wearing a suit. He said that his uncle asked him to do part of the eulogy so he has to do that in the suit.
Howard continued to do his impression of Grandma Caprio and told Artie what she'd like to see at the funeral. She was upset most by the fact that the bookie never paid Artie all the money he owed to him. Artie said that guy actually wanted to come to the funeral but he told him that it might be best if he didn't.
Lisa said that they spoke to George Takei about the PSA that Artie was supposed to shoot. He was upset about that and upset about the tirade Artie went on against High Pitch Mike. She said that they also talked to George about almost falling down after tripping over Anne Hathaway's red dress on the red carpet.
Howard wondered why George went to the show. Artie said that it's like the gay Super Bowl. That led to the guys talking about a couple of kids who won the chance to be on the red carpet. Artie said that this one kid looked like he had just been pulled out of a locker at school. Gary said they were working on pulling that clip for Howard.
Howard went into his Grandma Caprio impression again and told Artie not to bring Gina to her funeral. Artie said he was just thinking that he might want to bring her.
Howard told Gina about this game they were going to play with her. They're going to have delivery guys come up there and if she can convince these guys not to take a tip, he'll give her 5 plugs. He said that she's got to use all of her powers to just get the guy to turn down the tip to see her naked. He said that they're going to offer them tips of $50 and she has to try and get them to turn that down. Gina said that she might start kissing their necks and how erect her nipples are to turn them on. She'll also start showing them body parts and rub up against them.
Howard said that he has to wait to promote her stuff until after the game. He said he was on her web site but he didn't want to say what it was yet. He asked her about the movies she's made and the kind of sex she has with guys who haven't been circumsized and stuff like that. She told Howard about what she does with guys like that. Howard asked Robin if she's ever had an uncircumcised guy. She said she hasn't and she wouldn't know what to do with that.
Gina said that she's never smelled smegma or anything from guys but she has smelled some nasty balls before. She's pretty sure it's not their asses, it's just their balls. She said that she asks her husband to clean his balls before they have sex so he doesn't stink.
Gina said that she's been married for 8 years and her husband has a 13 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. She said that they went on a cruise one time and a bunch of boys were following her around and the son said that she's hot, that's why they were following her. Gina said that was kind of creepy to hear from him because he had never said it before.
Gina said that the son had emptied out her bra drawer one time when he was younger and kept that stuff under his pillow.
Howard heard that Gina's husband broke his penis. Gina said that was true and she was kind of upset about the way it happened. She said that he was doing another porn star by the name of Angelique. Gina said that she wanted to work with her so she set her up with her husband and he apparently wasn't into her.
Howard heard that the delivery guy was there so he had them bring the guy in. Artie was laughing hysterically when the guy came in. He said that this was perfect. Howard asked the guy if he had ever gotten a $50 tip before. He said that he biggest he ever got was $30. Howard told the guy that they were going to give him either $50 or Gina. He then had Gina tell Jorge what she was going to do for him to try and get him to turn down the 50 bucks.
Howard spoke to Jorge for a few minutes and then had Gina tell him what she was going to do for him. Howard asked the guy what he would rather have, the 50 bucks or Gina's boobs. He thought for a moment and then Gina said that she would let him play with her nipples too. Two minutes of nipple play. They had an interpreter there to help out with the explanation. The guy rattled off what was going on and they waited for his answer.
The interpreter told Howard that Jorge said that it was difficult to make the decision. Howard told the interpreter to tell him what he could do. He asked Jorge for his final answer and Jorge picked Gina. Everyone cheered for him when he made the decision. Howard was doing some Salsa dancing for a few seconds. Then Robin told him to offer the guy more money.
Howard asked Jorge if he would still take Gina if he offered him $75. Jorge stuck with Gina. He was able to speak some English but they still used the interpreter. Howard told Gina to do her thing and take off her top. Jorge said that she was beautiful when she took off her top. Then Gina took off her pants at Howard's request.
Howard asked Gina to get ready for Jorge to play with her. She took her pants all the way off. They asked Jorge how many women he had before. He said that he had about 5 or 6 but none of them like this. They set the clock and let Jorge go for it with her. They asked Jorge how they felt and he said they were nice. He played with her nipples and Gina said that it was actually nice.
Artie said that it would be funny if they just had Jorge arrested right then. Gina said that he was taking full advantage of this whole thing. He was playing with her boobs for the full 2 minutes. Jorge said that his favorite part of a woman is the boobs so he was having some fun. Gina asked Jorge how big his cock was but he just laughed.
The two minutes were up so Howard had to stop Jorge. Gina gave him a hug and a kiss when he was all done. He was still holding on to her hand. Howard gave him $100 even though they said they weren't going to tip him. Robin asked what he's going to tell his girlfriend when she asks how work was today. He said that it was a wonderful day.
Howard let Jorge go and then gave Gina some plugs for her web site GinaLynn.com. She said that they have a special deal today and people can join for 3 bucks for 3 days access.
Howard had the next delivery guy come in. His name was Caesar. Howard spoke to him for a few seconds and told him about the deal they had going there. Caesar didn't speak much English so the interpreter had to help out a bit more than with the last guy. Howard asked Caesar how big the biggest tip was that he ever got. His was $30 just like Jorge. Howard told the guy he was ready to give him a $50 tip or he can give Gina a 2 minute massage on her boobs. Howard said that Caesar's eyes lit up when he heard that. Howard asked him what he wanted. Caesar didn't have an answer at first so the guys asked him some questions and found out he's married.
Howard asked again what he wanted, the 50 buck tip or the 2 minute tit massage. Caesar chose Gina. Howard moved the tip up to $75 and asked again. He stuck with Gina. Howard let him sit on the couch and then asked him a few more questions about what he wanted to see Gina wearing. He wanted to see everything but asked her to leave her boots on.
Howard started the clock and let Caesar start his 2 minute massage. He said that they felt good to him. Gina said that he was much more gentle than the last guy was. Howard asked Caesar what his favorite part of the woman's body was, boobs, ass or vagina. He picked the ass. Gina told him he could touch her ass if he wanted. He felt her up and then Gina said that he could spank her a little bit. He let out a good whack. Gina told him to do it more so he gave her a few more whacks.
Howard asked Caesar if he had a boner. He said he did have a little bit. Howard gave him $100 for coming in and helping them out. Artie asked if they could do the same game with his salary. Howard told Gina that not every woman can change a man's mind on a tip like that. She did a good job getting them to do what they did.
Howard thanked Wellington, the interpreter, for helping them out. He also gave Gina a few more plugs for her web site and her latest movie that's coming out. He said that he was on her web site and she's got a lot of stuff going on there.
Howard asked Gina about her husband's penis breaking. She said that he had injected something into it that day and he gave it too much, about 6 times too much, and it was hard for about 6 or 7 hours. She said that they had to inject it with a bunch of needles to get the blood out of it and now it curves to the right and it has some scar tissue on it. She said that it's kind of annoying because she has to go in at an angle now.
Gina said that her husband, Travis, is trying to find a urologist to help him out. Howard had Travis come in so he talked to him about the broken penis. He told them what he used to inject his penis and it was something like Caverjet. He said that he thought that he would never use anything like that but he wasn't able to find anything attractive about that girl he was doing. He said he could have fucked a brick wall after taking that shot.
Travis said he had a hard on for 10 hours and it was painful. He said that it looked like it was going to explode because it was so engorged. He said that he actually took just 2 times as much stuff as he was supposed to, not 6. Travis told Howard that he can still perform but if the girl comes down too hard it catches the penis and hurts him.
Howard took some phone calls and let some people comment on what they had just done. Howard said that the looks on the delivery guy's faces were great. Artie said that the first guy looked like Abbot and Costello when they were mice in one of their movies. One caller said that this is the first time he wished that he was a Mexican delivery guy.
Howard told Gina he hopes that this penis thing doesn't break up the marriage. She said that they still have sex so they'll be fine. Howard gave her a few more plugs for her movie ''Interactive'' and for her web site before he went to break.
Eric the Midget was back on the phone so Howard picked up on him and said he knew he couldn't stay away. Eric said that he can stay away. Howard told him that he wouldn't have had his internet show and Kendra if it wasn't for the show.
Eric told Howard to shove his show up his fuckin' ass. He said that he can't believe that he's taking this guy Patrick's word over his. Howard said that he was just worried about Eric and he doesn't even know who Patrick is. Eric said that he can't believe that Howard doesn't think that Johnny could be concerned about him too. Robin didn't know what Johnny had to do with the whole thing.
Eric said that Johnny wouldn't allow that to happen to him and he's as much of a friend to him as Howard is. Eric said that he doesn't need this shit anymore. He said that he has an extremely beautiful girlfriend that he never broke up with yesterday. Eric said that was all fake. He said that they did that to get their dumb asses off of their back. Howard said that he's a liar and he should just admit it.
Eric said that he's not a liar, he's an actor. He said that the break up was a scam, not the relationship. Howard pointed out that Eric was just lying earlier in the show when he said that they weren't going to date because it was too expensive. Howard told Eric to admit he's a liar but Eric said that he was just acting.
The guys told Eric that lying isn't acting. He didn't have a script in front of him when he was doing it. Howard told him that there's a lot of lying going on there and he knew that it was a lie yesterday when he saw Eric smiling. Robin said that's bad acting and he's Eric the Bad Actor.
Howard said he's not sure why Eric is mad at him when Eric is the one lying. Howard asked him whose idea it was to lie on the show. Eric said it wasn't a lie, it was acting. He didn't want to say whose idea it was to lie. Then he said that it was his idea to do the break up thing.
Howard said that maybe this is all an act then. Artie said that they might find out that he's been acting like an asshole all this time and he's really not one. Howard asked Eric why he was confessing now. Eric said that he was listening to it in his head and it made him kind of feel bad. Eric said that Kendra was in on it but it still made him feel bad.
Howard asked Eric if he's really not going to do the show anymore. Eric said he really isn't going to do it. Gary asked him if he thinks that anyone will be tuning in to find out about him if he stops calling the show. Eric said that he's sure that Kendra is going to stay with him even if he's not on the show. Howard told him that all of his powers will go away when he stops doing the show.
Howard told Eric that he knows Johnny and Kendra through this show and he got on Jimmy Kimmel through the show. Eric said that he's tired of taking the abuse from them about this stuff. Howard even pointed out that he swore on the life of his mother yesterday that he wasn't lying about the relationship with Kendra. He asked Eric if he wanted to say something about that. Eric said that was a mistake. He didn't even want to apologize for what he said.
Howard asked Eric if he wasn't sorry for that because his mother made him a midget. Eric got pissed at Howard and said that it shows what an asshole he really is. Howard said that maybe it's a psychological thing and he hides this anger inside of him because of the way he turned out. Eric said that he's an ignorant asshole.
Howard said he doesn't understand Eric's logic there and he's not sure what's going on with him anymore. He wondered what happened to that sweet guy he used to know.
Eric said that this guy Patrick made up a bunch of stuff about his relationship with Kendra and that's one thing he's pissed off about. Howard said that it doesn't appear to be made up after this lie that he and Kendra pulled yesterday. Eric said that his bullshit meter is broken and he needs to get that fixed. Howard said that the only thing that's broken is his heart. He said that he was the one who told Jimmy Kimmel to let Eric on his show and now he regrets doing that.
Howard said that Eric has to stop blaming other people for this stuff. Eric was blaming the news team. Howard said he had Patrick on the phone and he wanted to talk about what's going on here. Eric said that this wasn't the real Patrick after he went off on Eric for wasting his time on the air.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he had something to say to Eric the Pillow Fucker. Howard said that's not his name and played one of those made up clips where he says ''Eric the Chicken Shit Midget.''
Howard told Eric he can't force him to call in, that's his business. He told him to think that through and do what he has to do, he's a grown man. Eric said that not calling the show is a good decision. Howard said that he just said that he wasn't going to call the show again earlier this morning and he's already back on the phone.
Eric said that he will not be calling the show again. Robin said that he's made those decisions before but he always comes back. Howard said that Johnny will be on the phone with him today telling him to call back. Eric said that Johnny is sick of the way Jimmy Kimmel treated him yesterday and Johnny doesn't want him to call in anymore.
Eric said that Jimmy treated him like an asshole and he didn't like it. Artie told him that Jimmy was just acting, just like Eric was when he lied yesterday. Eric said that he's at the point in his life where he has everything he needs. He has JFSC and Kendra. Robin said that even the JFSC had a scroll going that said they still love Howard. Eric gave them a ''Goodbye for good'' as he was saying goodbye. Howard said ''goodbye for now'' and said that they'd see what happens. He thinks that Johnny will be getting him to call in. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that Jay Thomas stopped by this morning to say hello. He has a show there on channel 102. He said that Jay is actually quite delightful to talk to. Jay said that Gary was telling him a story about his kid out in the hall and he was pretending to be interested. Jay said that the story was boring out in the hall but Gary came in and started to explain it to Howard.
Howard asked Jay if he watched the Academy Awards. Jay said that he did and he was kind of upset that a hooker (stripper Diablo Cody) won an award after the writers went on strike to make a little more money. He said that the movie was about a little slut too and he thinks that strippers are like hookers too. They spent a couple of minutes talking about Diablo and her Oscar win. Jay said that he's pretty sure that Diablo Cody will never write another movie that anyone cares about.
Jay talked about the women that were at the Oscar's and how they're not that hot. if they were hot, then maybe they'd have men with them.
Jay talked to Howard about how he and his wife wanted to get their kids into a special school and they ended up seeing Jaime Lee Curtis and Bruce Springsteen there when they went to visit. Jay said that his son has some issues and he's not really mentally stable and used to try and strangle other kids in the ball pit at school. He said that now he builds guns. Howard said that it seems like he might have a bit of a violent streak in him.
Jay talked about seeing Alex Trebek at this school he wanted to get his kids into. Jay's son tried to bite a kid and that led to them getting him a shadow teacher that would follow him around the whole time. That cost him $400 extra a week to do that. He said he got really mad at that so he wanted to stick him in a public school so he could fit right in with that violent streak.
Jay said that it's very tough to love a kid like this. He's had all kinds of people trying to figure him out and give him help. He said that they eventually left the school and they gave them their money back. He said they went to some school run by Lesbians and he was fine there. Jay said that the shee-shee schools are a waste of time.
Howard asked Jay about the rebuilding of New Orleans because he's not too happy that they are rebuilding. Jay said that it was actually a good thing because it cleared out a lot of people that they don't want down there. He said it was nice when it changed for the better after they left. Jay said that Brad Pitt should be helping to rebuild in his neighborhood, not in the neighborhoods he's working in. He said that he actually rented out his house to some people and the house ended up getting wrecked.
Jay told Howard that they had some crazy stuff going on down there when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were down there. He said that there was one woman down there who was trying to cut Brad's hair off so she could clone him. He said that he's not sure why they're rebuilding down there because that's the kind of people that are coming back into the neighborhoods they're rebuilding.
Jay told Howard that he's signed on to stay at SIRIUS for another 2 years. He said that he does his show from California and one in New Orleans so he can bounce around through those places and even do the show from there in New York. Howard said that he thinks it would be weird to do a show the way Jay does because he has people all over the country doing the show with him. Jay said that he doesn't pretend to have them in the same room with him. Howard said that it's still weird to him. Jay said you don't need to see everyone you talk to, it's like talking on the phone. Howard said that if Artie did the show from home, they'd never hear from him.
Howard took some phone calls after that and let some people go off on Jay about his comments about New Orleans. One guy didn't agree with him about what he was saying but there was a woman that did agree with him and was glad that a celebrity was talking about that stuff the way he was.
One caller asked Jay why he went on Kimmel's show during the writer's strike. Jay said he did that show because he likes Jimmy but he didn't do the Tonight Show. He said that Jay hadn't asked him to do his show for a decade and then all of a sudden he needed guests and asked him to do it.
Jay said that he didn't have any problem going on Jimmy's show during the strike. He said that he could have sued that appearance on Jay Leno's show but he turned that down, and that was enough to show his support for the strike. He said that he thinks that Letterman is even more of a nut now than he was before because Leno was still beating his ass in the ratings while he didn't have any writers and Letterman did.
Howard asked Jay what he liked more, the New Orleans hurricane or the tsunami. Jay said that he gets nervous when he sees his cat acting strange because they somehow know to run up hill when there's something like a tsunami happening. He said that not one dog died in that tsunami because they all ran up hill before the water came in. He said that some people were walking out to see what was going on while the water was receding a mile before the tsunami hit.
Howard and Jay talked about some of the stuff that was going on during the Academy Awards. Jay said that the gay guy with the curly hair (Bruce Valanche) has ruined them. Jay talked about some of the lame jokes that were told during that show. He said that Jon Stewart acts like the crowd is laughing before he's even done with his joke. He went off on Jon and on Steve Carrell for the jokes he was trying to pull off during that show.
Howard asked Jay about some of the other people at the awards show and he went off on some woman who was nominated and she's not even American. He said that they should started the immigration thing by throwing out all of the actors who aren't from this country.
Jay said that he's going to be in this new movie ''Pool Boy'' and that's coming out soon. He said that he kind of bad mouthed it last time when he was on and the director got upset with him about that.
Howard gave Jay some plugs for his show and then tried to take a call from Ralph who wasn't there when he picked up. Jay told Howard that he has done like 300 TV shows and most people are really boring on them. He said it makes him wonder how they got to be famous. He said that anyone can act, the hard part is getting the jobs. He said that both of his sons can act but getting a job is really tough.
Howard asked Jay to name the most boring actor he's ever met. Jay said that it's Greg Kinnear. He said he's not dumb, but he was boring. Jay said that he looked at Greg and thought that he was going to be gone after working with him once but he went on to be a big star. He said that he figures that Brad Pitt would be just as boring.
Jay said that the most arrogant guy he's worked with is Chris Malone. He said that he was in a make up chair one day working on Law and Order and he made a comment about Chris Malone and how embarrassing it was to go from Oz to working on Law and Order. He said he went in and worked his ass off doing his job that day and the guy didn't come up to him and say anything to him about the scene. He thought he did really good and they usually kiss the character actor's asses, but not that guy. He said that Ice T is that way too.
Gary came in and said that the guys out there were telling him about Jay going to do an audition one time and he thought it was for something that it wasn't for. Jay said that he went in for an audition for Ivan Reitman and he thought that the script was a comedy. Ivan had to tell him that it was a drama. Jay said that he had to leave the audition and pulled some hairs out of his nose to make himself cry. They gave him a part in the movie but not the one he had auditioned for. He said they gave him the part of a smart assed waiter instead. He said that the scene ended up getting cut.
Jay said that he got back at Ivan Reitman after that. He said he was out with his son who was about 6 at the time. He said that he had an old car that he had a special switch installed in so no one could steal it. He said he saw Ivan and his wife come out to get in their matching $150,000 Mercedes. He said that he heard Ivan complaining that he was in a rush so he got in his car and left the switch off so the car wouldn't start. He held them up for 20 minutes pretending to start the car. Meanwhile his son was telling him to turn on the switch.
Ralph was on the phone so Howard let him say some stuff about what Jay was talking about. Ralph thought that Jay was wrong about Jon Stewart and thought that he was actually great on the Oscar's. Howard said he thinks that Jay could handle that show. Fred said that he could probably handle it but no one else there could.
Ralph made one too many comments because Jay told him to shut the fuck up and Howard hung up on him. Jay went on to talk about some of the other things that were going on during the Academy Awards. He said that it doesn't make any sense why some people make it and some don't. He said that giving Amy Winehouse an award is ridiculous because it's basically telling her that it's okay to be a heroin addict.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Jay is the biggest asshole that they've ever had on the show. He said that Jay's act is really bad and he thinks that he's still bitter about being thrown off of Cheers. Howard said that he disagrees and thinks that Jay is willing to talk about anything and it's very refreshing to him.
Howard took another call from a guy who let out a ''hey now'' when he got on. Jay didn't know what that was about. Howard explained to Jay that they loved the Larry Sanders show and it's a tribute to Hank on that show.
The caller told Howard about Artie taking Subutex and how that helped him out because he found out about it and went to his doctor to get off heroin. That led to Jay talking about how there are people in Africa who mix heroin with gun powder and they load them up before they send them off to go kill people. They call it ''brown, brown.''
The caller was telling Howard that it is refreshing to hear Jay talking about the stuff they talk to them about. Howard started to wrap up with Jay a short time later. Jay told Howard that he really thinks that Fred deserves some kind of reward for doing the sound effects that he's been doing for so long. Howard said that he kind of froze yesterday when he was asked to do some masturbation sound effects and didn't pull them off fast enough. Fred did it again today and managed to do it much better. Howard spent another minute with Jay talking about the writer's strike and Jimmy Kimmel. Jay really didn't feel like he was doing anything wrong when he went on that show during the writer's strike.
Howard talked to Jay about the scripts he's turned down over the years. He said that he really wants to do something good and not some crappy movie. He said that he wants to be in something really good and not do some shitty movie. He said that he would do something if he thought it was going to be really good.
Howard asked Jay about who he's going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election. Jay said that he actually voted for Barack Obama in the primaries because he thinks its' kind of funny. He said he's had a t-shirt made up with Barack Hussein Obama made up and he thinks that if he does get elected, the Arab countries will think that they came around to their side once they see that name. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard talked about some of the Oscar awards stuff that they were discussing with Jay Thomas a little earlier. He brought up the Steve Carrell bit that was really lame where he pretend to be screwing up on the award he was presenting for. Artie said that it's just over done and bad.
Robin said that she's kind of upset about Jerry Seinfeld always showing up as that bee character he does. She said that he has to do that cute little character all the time now.
Artie talked about how the bees are all disappearing and how he saw that special on 60 Minutes the other night. He talked about how scary that is.
Howard brought up how Jack Nicholson was talking to people from the stage when he was on the Oscar's. He also pointed out that one of the Cohen brothers kept tugging at his ear and he thinks that's an OCD thing that he's got going on.
Howard ran down a list of the top 5 shows on Howard TV. One of them was Robin dancing during a commercial break. Robin didn't know that one was up there.
Howard read some other quick news articles that he found interesting. He read one about one of the women who won an Oscar and how she has two men that she dates.
Howard ran through some of the stuff he had already talked about this morning. He found a bunch of stuff he had to get to but he had to get to the news.
Steve said that they'll have an update on Riley Martin. He said that he gave a British news team an interview last week and claimed that he British family is related to the Reptilian aliens. They have some news about Greg Fitzsimmons making an appearance on CSI. They have a bunch of other stuff they're working on as well.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who gave his condolences to Artie for his grandmother dying. Artie thanked him for that.
Jeff asked Artie if he called Bubba for him yet. He said that Bubba was talking about him on his show because he's an asshole and stuff like that. He won't let him call back in until Artie calls him to clear his name. Another caller said that Bubba was talking about what an asshole he was hanging out back stage and yelling at people. Jeff said he was just hamming it up back stage.
Artie said that Jeff should ham it up in a different way than he does. He said that it comes off as hateful when he does it the way he does.
Gary said that he heard that they banned Jeff from Bubba's show because of the way he treats people back stage. The caller told Jeff that he'd love to fight him and he'd even tie one of his arms behind his back.
Howard played some audio of Jeff yelling back stage at the Borgata. He was yelling out ''Jim!'' over and over again. That led to Sal and Richard making a prank call using that clip. They called a guy by the name of Jim and had Jeff yelling out his name over and over again.
Jeff said that he's been calling Bubba's show and now he's banned so he can't call. He said he likes Bubba and he'd like to call in. Artie said he can't clear his name because he'd have to lie to do that. He has nothing nice to say about him.
Ralph called in and said that when Jeff came out during that show down at the Borgata, he thought it was awful. He said that he was teetering around and that dead arm was just hanging there and it was ghastly. Howard said that show is going to be on Howard TV tonight so people will have to tune in to check it out.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down the list of stuff they're going to cover today. They're going to go over the Gina Lynn visit, Robin's trip to Napa and her relationship with Jim Florentine, Eric the Liar saying goodbye to the show and much more.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's a long time fan of the show and he's coming out to see a show in Philly soon to see a Steve Winwood concert. He sounded like he was going to ask for something so Howard hung up on him. He talked about the Steve Winwood thing for a short time and ended up talking about some of the great songs he did with Blind Faith. Fred played one of the songs that Howard was talking about. Howard sang along with ''Can't Find My Way Home'' for a few seconds before having Robin move on to her news.
Robin had a bunch of clips for Howard to play from the awards. Ralph called in a little later and said that Eddie Murphy would be a good host for that Oscar show. The guys said that he's not really who he used to be and they're not sure if that would be the right guy. Howard said it would be funny to have someone like Larry King host it.
Robin had some news about Whoopi Goldberg getting upset that she was left out of a montage of the past Oscar moments. She said something on The View about how she thinks she did something to piss someone off there at the Oscar's. Howard said that she's giving herself too much credit, he said they probably just forgot about her.
Robin read a story about a guy who was bitten by a shark down in Florida and died yesterday. Howard said that he'd like to get rid of sharks all together. He asked the guys what they would do if he were god and asked them if they would prefer it if he just got rid of them all like they never existed. Robin and Fred said they weren't sure they'd get rid of them.
Robin read a story about a young boy who lost his arms to a lion at a zoo in China. She had another story about a couple that won 170 million and are talking about moving out of their trailer now. She read a story about a study being done on anti-depressant drugs. They found that people can improve without drugs.
Robin read a story about male cell phone users who are on the phone more than 4 hours a day. They've found that they're less fertile if they use the phone that much. Howard thought she was going to say that guys who are on the phone that much are gay. He was also saying that he knows someone who carries two phones to work. He was talking about Robin.
Jeff the Drunk called back in and said that he's not ungrateful. Artie told Jeff that the drama he's playing out in his trailer is just killing him. He told him to just go get a job and get out of that house. He said that he's a grown man, 40 years old, and he's obsessing about Bubba. He told him to go light an M-80 or something with his friends. He ended up goofing on Jeff for a couple of minutes. He was doing impressions of him and making fun of him getting upset about the whole Bubba thing.
Artie goofed on Jeff for not having a job and then complaining when he had to pay someone to fix something for him. He told Jeff that people aren't going to give him stuff for free for his whole life. Howard asked Jeff if they could do a stunt where they dangle his bad arm off the side of a boat down in Florida and see if they can attract some sharks to it. Jeff didn't sound interested in that.
Artie continued to goof on Jeff about his hair and things like that. He told him to get a life already and get out of that house. He told him that he might want to lose that dead arm of his because it's a reminder of bad times.
Jeff said that he enjoys playing video games so Artie asked him if he needs a Pac Man machine installed in his trailer or something. Jeff didn't sound any happier after all of that. Howard had to let him go though so Robin could get back to her news.
Robin got back to some more news stories. She read through some stuff about Eric Clapton possibly going to North Korea in 2010 to perform. She said that the New York Philharmonic is performing there now. She had some clips of them performing and Howard said that it's no wonder they hate us with that kind of shit. He played some of it and goofed on it a bit.
Robin read a story about a picture of Barack Obama wearing a turban. She said that they think that the Clinton campaign may have released it. Howard ended up doing his Ted Kennedy impression during that story after Robin had him play some audio clips. That got Artie going too.
Artie started to laugh his ass off when Fred started to play some old lady porn clips that make him laugh every time. He said that he'd even break out laughing at his grandmother's funeral if he played them there. They wrapped up the show a short time later, around 10:40am.
Jon and Gary talked about how good looking Gina Lynn was looking today. Gary said that she's their new go-to girl for stuff like that. Jon said that he didn't get the broken penis story but he guesses that he understands it. Gary said that some girls bring that stuff up but no one wants to see that stuff when a porn chick comes in. Jon agreed and said that no one wants to see the boyfriends or husbands that those women have.
Gary said he was doing a benefit for a charity one time and they had some strippers there and they brought their kids. He said that he had no desire to know about her kids, their yeast infections or anything like that when he's around them. He said they shouldn't fuck up the illusion.
The guys talked about the delivery guys and how odd they looked. The first guy did look like what Artie said he looked like. The guys talked about how much money they were offered and how they turned it all down. Gary said that $75 is like 10 or 12 tips to those guys.
Jon played a clip of Jorge making his final decision on what to take. Of course he chose Gina. Jon said that the translator was great too. They talked about that for a minute before Jon tried to take some phone calls. The phones weren't working so Jon got back to the Delivery guy thing.
Will said that the guys had no idea what they were doing up there until the last minute. He said that they kind of sprung it on them but they felt kind of bad for them because they held them up from doing their other deliveries.
Gary said that Eric claiming that he wasn't lying and was just acting was bullshit. He said that Eric hasn't had a lot of exposure to people and they're taking advantage of him. Benjy wondered if Eric and Kendra are dating. Gary said that in his mind they are but boyfriends and girlfriends fuck and Eric isn't fucking.
Gary said that Kendra got on a plane, flew out to see him and gave him a peck on the cheek and how that's supposed to prove that they're dating. Will said that Eric's mind is more scrambled than his spine, that's the bottom line.
Another caller asked why they don't play more games on the show. He thought today was great but they don't do that much now. Gary said that they've played that game 3 or 4 times since they got there. The caller said that they don't play it enough though. He said that he wants more bang for his buck and wants more of those games since he paid for a lifetime membership.
Jon said that they're going to be doing some replays of some great games they've played on the show over the years. They're also going to be playing Win Jon Hein's Money soon. Will said they're still looking for more people to play that game. They only have one contestant so far.
Jon took another call from a guy who brought up Eric and Kendra and thinks that he's getting sucked into this publicity thing. Gary said that's how they see it too. He said that Eric is part of that but he doesn't see it. Gary thinks that there are people making money off of him and Eric isn't getting anything from them.
Gary said that if the JFSC goes away, so do all of Eric's friends. The caller said that he feels that they're using him and it's pitiful that he doesn't see it. He said that Eric is being played by them and they're just doing it to get plugs on the show.
Benjy asked if the caller thinks that Eric believes that Kendra is really his girlfriend. Gary said he thinks that Eric believes it even if it's not true. Benjy said that he's been a JFSC supporter for a long time now. He said he was supporting them way before they even know about it.
Shuli said that one thing that surprised him about Eric was that he flat out lied about this break up thing. He said that Eric has been truthful until now. He said that he thought that was kind of shocking today. Jon said that Eric claimed it was acting though so that's what his excuse was. He said that he's all caught up in this Kendra thing and maybe that's where he has to go with it.
Wheels called in and said that he thinks that Johnny Fratto is going to call in and tell Howard he never said anything about not wanting anything to do with Howard. He said that Fratto is a phony mobster and he doesn't like him.
Wheels asked Gary what kind of questions they're going to have in the Win Jon Hein's Money game. Gary said it'll all be about TV shows. He threw out a couple of questions and had Jon and Wheels trying to answer them.
Another caller brought up Johnny Fratto and asked why he's part of the show. Gary said that he's part of the show and he makes it all most interesting with the stuff he does.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he thought Jay Thomas was a little harsh but he doesn't mean it in a harsh way. Benjy asked if they liked Jay talking about how great the hurricane was for New Orleans or the time that Darryl Hall said that he'd like all deer annihilated. Gary said that was pretty intense that day that Darryl Hall said that on the show. He had no idea he had so much anger toward deer.
Shuli said that he loves Jay Thomas and talked about some of the stuff he talked about today. They talked about some of the names he was throwing out there and goofing on.
Gary said that Jay and Howard have the same agent and Jay was working mornings at K-Rock before Howard got there. Jay ended up getting fired to make room for Howard. Gary told some stories about working with him at K-Rock and how nasty things got after that when Jay went out to work in L.A.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that when he hears and sees Ralph it ruins it for him and he can't believe he's paying for SIRIUS. He said that they've told Howard that they hate him but he still has him on the show. He said that Sal is the same way and he just gets really angry that Sal and Ralph are ruining the show for him. He said he was enjoying the Jay Thomas interview but then Ralph called in and ruined it with his comments. He said that Ralph just going ''Hmm'' can ruin a whole conversation.
The caller went off on Ralph for a short time. He also brought up the Master Tape Theatre shows that are airing on Friday. He said that those shows aren't carrying Friday. He said that it was a decent show but it only lasted until about 9. He said that the Friday Show has to return and they have to have Jon and Gary back doing their show after the Master Tape stuff. He doesn't want Ralph returning with it though.
Gary said that they got a lot of negative feedback about that show. Jon picked up on Ralph and lost that other caller, Chris, so he asked him to call back.
Ralph said that he liked Jay on the show today but he's not sure he could take 4 hours of that. Shuli said that he calms down during his show and he really does a great job interviewing the guests he gets. Ralph was also saying that he agrees with Jay about new Orleans and how it really did need a bath to clear out the filth.
Shuli said that sometimes Jay Thomas gets screwed over by guests because they don't do his show when they make the rounds there at SIRIUS. Gary said that some people may not want to talk to a cut out of Jay because he's out at some other studio doing his shows.
Shuli told Gary that Jay had Jeff Conaway on his show. He said that he was good with him. He has some other guests on his show too but Gary wondered if he'd treat them the same way he treats his other guests because it is so hard to get guests. Shuli said he thinks he would.
Ralph talked about how bad some of the old Cheers episodes where when Jay was on with Carla. Gary said he didn't think it was that bad though.
Another caller told the guys that he thought Jay was a good guest and he doesn't pull any punches. He said that Ralph should keep doing whatever he's doing because he thinks it's kick ass.
Jon said that Benjy was walking in and out of the studio and he wanted to know what's going on. Benjy said that he was beeping because he had a sports watch in his pocket that was going off. He took it outside and tried to turn it off but it kept going. He said he had an electric razor in his pocket too and that was running. Jim McClure said that he thought it was something in the studio that twas buzzing. Gary said he wouldn't be surprised if Benjy pulled a hero sandwich out of his pocket too.
Ralph said that when people like something, they don't really call in. It's only when they hate it that they'll call. Gary said that no matter what they play when Howard isn't there, they're going to get complaints. Gary said that this appears to be pleasing the most amount of people. Gary said that he's not sure that the Friday Show would work now because it didn't work back then.
Ralph said that they could have a lot of stuff to talk about if they did a Friday Show after Master Tape Theatre. Chris said that he was the one who originally called in and told Ralph that he has some sense of entitlement when he calls the show.
Ralph said he doesn't think he has that sense of entitlement that this guy thinks he has. He said that he really doesn't care what he thinks and doesn't care about the guy. Chris said that he did call in after he called in. Ralph said that he really doesn't bother him at all.
After a few minutes of Ralph and Chris going at each other, Shuli suggested that they do a Friday show with those two. Jon wrapped up with Chris a short time later and went to another phone call.
The next caller said that Gary probably just doesn't want to come in and work on Friday. Gary said that he would come back in on Friday no problem. The caller said that he thinks that Gary is just lazy. He also said that he thinks that they've gotten so good at the Wrap Up Show that they'd be better on the Friday show now. Gary said that they found a groove there on the Wrap Up and never really did find one with the Friday Show.
Ralph said that they could have let the show play out for more time and maybe it would have worked out if they could have figured out what it was supposed to be. Gary said that they were going to do it different but things just never worked out for it. It all just came down to playing tapes and it never really caught on. Ralph said that it was just a mess and it was what it was. They had to go to break after that.
Jon played a clip of Robin talking about how the relationship with Jim may not work out because of what she's heard Jim doing when she's not around. Howard thought that when Robin said that Jim made his girlfriend throw up, he thought that Jim made his own girlfriend throw up because she was getting fat. Gary said he thought the same thing when he heard that.
Shuli told the guys that he wasn't trying to piss Robin off when he told that story about Jim. He knows better than that. Gary said that Jim has some great stories about banging chicks and things like that. Shuli said that he had no idea that he was going to piss Robin off by telling her that story about Jim. He said that he went out with Jim one night and when Jim got out of the car he farted and then closed the door. Shuli's girlfriend was in the car and she ended up throwing up from the smell. She was drunk at the time though.
Shuli said that when you start dating someone, they're not the same person they really are in real life. Gary said that his wife has heard stories about him doing stuff that disgusts her. That kind of stuff happens all the time.
Jon went to the phone and took a call from a guy who asked if JD has been taking speech lessons because he isn't babbling as much as he used to. Shuli agreed and said that JD can be very good at talking for a few seconds and then he kind of trails off into nothing.
Benjy asked Jon if he knows why JD is called JD. Gary said he knew and said that Howard wanted to toughen him up and change him to make him cooler so they changed his name from Jamie to JD. They spent a minute talking about that and how they did a whole makeover for him. Beth took him out and gave him a new wardrobe and new glasses. Jim McClure said his girlfriend did that for him down in Atlantic City too and he looked much better in the clothes she picked out for him.
A caller brought up Jim and Robin and that led to the guys talking about how Robin will eventually have to see what Jim is really like. They figured that some day Robin will come home and her toilet won't flush because Jim left her an upper decker.
JD came in and tried to explain something to the guys without trailing off into his usual muttering. Shuli tried to rush him through his explanation but JD stayed slow and steady explaining it. Jon said that the guy on the phone who thought he was being more deliberate in the way he was speaking was apparently wrong. JD gave Jon this long explanation but Jon told him he seriously didn't understand what he was talking about.
Jon went to the phones again and the next caller said he loves JD and Ralph and all of the guys. He said that he's been ranting about this merger thing but he thinks that Jim Cramer talked about it the best. He said that he thinks that Howard should be naming names like Cramer was in those clips that Howard said. He said that he thinks that Howard has been a little lazy lately.
Gary said that he thinks that Howard is trying to keep a low profile so his name doesn't come up in the hearings that they're holding for this merger.
The caller was asking Gary some other questions about some club he goes to and if Gary had ever been there. Gary had been there and shared some stories with the guy real quick. The caller went on to say some other stuff that they had to pretend they didn't hear. He said he did something similar to what Sal did at Mutt's house one time when he sniffed someone's panties that he shouldn't have. The guy said that he did that with the daughter of the woman he's with now. He said that he knows that it's creepy though.
The guy said that he got caught sniffing the panties but he didn't want to get into specifics. He said that she gave him a second chance and things are fine now. He said that it's not difficult to be around the daughter now even though she's hot. He said that he would never do anything like that again though.
Gary said that he could tell that Jon was creeped out by that call. Jon said he wouldn't want that guy anywhere near his house.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that caller just brought he show to a screeching halt. He said that he loved Jay Thomas on the show today. He also said that he liked when Fred was playing those cell phone rings for Robin's phone. He said that he actually reached for his own phone when he heard it ringing. That led to the guys talking about Fred being on the FUSE channel tonight at 6. Benjy said that he's supposed to be on a show tonight as well with Ivy and Gina Lynn. They're going to be on a show called ''The Best Things.''
A caller said that he's offended by Fred's impression of Jim Florentine because he makes him come off as such an asshole. Gary didn't think that it was like that at all and he thought that it was pretty dead on, that's why it's so funny. The guys all said that Jim is probably fine with the impressions, he might even be flattered by them. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show saying that Artie was out today but he's not sick. He's out for his grandmother's funeral. Grandma Caprio passed away a couple of days ago so Artie is attending her funeral today. Howard said he couldn't turn Artie down for a day off for something like that.
Howard said that Eric is calling himself ''Kendric'' now that he's going out with this Kendra person. He said that Eric goes on to explain why he's not going to do the show and he doesn't seem to care about how he sounds and how fast he speaks. He said that the entire thing is about 11 minutes long but he's not sure he can play the whole thing because he's not sure who really cares that much about it. He's pretty sure he'd get complaints about how boring it is. Howard said he was actually late getting to work because he was listening to Eric's press conference on the way in.
Howard said he watched Fred on the Fuse channel last night playing with his band, King Norris. He said that he hadn't seen Fred in a long time. He said the last time he saw him was in Brooklyn one night years ago. Fred said that Howard didn't think anyone was going to show up that night but that's the night Howard showed up.
Howard said that Fred was on a show called Sauce and there were two guys who host it. They had Fred and his band perform twice and then they did a little bit of an interview with Fred. Howard said that Fred didn't get dressed up or anything. He was just wearing a t-shirt to show off his new tattoo. Robin asked how the rest of the band looked. Howard said they've aged a bit. He said he didn't recognize Frank Fallon anymore. Fred said that Frank has said he just doesn't care anymore.
Howard said that Fred was really good playing guitar and he sent him a note about that last night after seeing him. He said they don't need to have him play on this show though because they have this tape from Fuse. Howard then went into the tape and almost played the clip. He cut it off saying that the audience was filled with black kids and they were jumping around like crazy during the song. Fred said they were actually a great audience. He said he may change his name to K-Fred after that.
Howard played the audio of Fred and his band performing ''Breakdown'' off their album ''Animal.'' Howard played a little bit of that and said that he did a great job over there. Fred said that they have some good people working over there. Howard told Robin that it must be the new sound for black people because they were rockin' over there last night.
Howard had some e-mail about Fred's performance and there was a lot of positive stuff in there. Fred figured that there will be an avalanche of negative stuff today after the fans hear it was positive. Howard took a call from a guy who said that it was good to hear some good old classic rock and roll on TV last night.
The caller asked Howard to have Richard pick out some black porn pictures and have Robin pick out the boobs that look most like hers. Howard said he did that yesterday after he showed Robin some pictures and asked her if those were what hers look like. They were with a white chick though. Howard told the guy they're not going to go through that much trouble for him.
Another caller said he wanted to give his condolences for Grandma Caprio. Howard wondered if he can keep doing that impression of her. Fred told him he thinks he can keep doing it.
A caller told Fred that he and the other guys looked old playing on that show last night. He said that they looked like they were doing karaoke or something. Howard said he thought that Fred looked young compared to the other two guys he plays with. He thought Fred did a good job with the songs. The caller thought that they sounded like rip-off songs to him but Fred said if they are, he doesn't remember which songs he ripped off.
Robin told Fred that they do something on Bubba's show where they try to find new bands and they refer them to record companies. She wasn't sure how many bands they've actually discovered though.
Another caller told Fred that his music sounded like shit. He said that he didn't understand it at all. Fred apologized to him but said he had a fun time and there were people who did enjoy it. The guy told Fred to stick to the sound clips he does on the show.
Howard said that he could see something like that happening on the show. They might be able to get Steve Gutenberg to participate. He threw out some names like Wendy the Retard, Beetlejuice, Jeff the Drunk, Ass Napkin Ed and others to be the 'Tards.
Hanzi told Fred to ''fuck all the haters'' and not worry about that stuff. Howard went to another caller who said that he saw that Mary McCormack has a new show starting. She played Howard's wife in ''Private Parts.'' The caller said that she looked good in the preview he saw. Howard said he was in bed with her in his movie but he wasn't able to get her to take her shirt off.
Howard said he actually got a note from Mary and she gets upset when it appears that he doesn't know her kid's names. Howard said that he doesn't want to spell them wrong so he doesn't write them out in the mail. He said that he honestly doesn't remember any kid's names. He said he thinks that one of them is Rose and the other is Margaret and he doesn't know how to spell it so he doesn't write it when he asks about her kids.
Howard said he'd rather think of Mary as not having kids anyway. He said he never saw anything maternal in her but she seems to have risen to the occasion. He said that she's one of those mom's who must be really secure because she has a nanny who is really hot. He said she must not be worried about her husband running off with her.
Howard said he's told Beth that if she leaves him alone for any amount of time, he's going to run off and fuck someone. He thinks that Mary is being a little naive on this whole thing if she thinks her husband isn't thinking about that hot nanny.
Howard said Mary's new show has a name but he didn't remember it. He said that it's been getting good reviews and he thinks she's going to do well with it. He still can't believe she picked a hot nanny though.
Jon Hein came in and said that the name of the show is ''In Plain Sight'' and it's starting April 24th. Jon said that they've been promoting the show for quite a while now. They talked about the commercials they've seen and how they show her back, ass and some side boob. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that she looks smokin' hot in that preview.
Howard said that Mary had it in her contract for Private Parts that she had to be topless in bed but when they actually did the scenes, she wanted to wear a t-shirt. Howard said he wanted her topless but she just wouldn't do it. He wanted to have a closed set at the time because he had a full hard on when he was doing the scenes with her.
Howard said that he always had a hard on when he was shooting that movie. He had one when he did the bath tub scene with Melanie Goode. He had to try and cover it up when he got out of the tub soaking wet. Robin said that the water was ice cold too but he still had one.
Howard said he went to his dressing room and beat off after that. Fred said that he had her boob on his foot for like 3 days straight but Howard had the full view of her for those three days. Howard said that after he beat off he had to get back in the tub with Melanie and he was worried that she might get pregnant somehow.
Howard said that he really wanted to have sex with Melanie in the tub even though he was making a movie about how much he loved his wife. Howard said he thinks that was the beginning of the end of his marriage back then.
Fred asked Howard if that affected his marriage when he was doing all of those scenes. He said it really didn't.
Howard said that he was supposed to do a scene with Mary where she was topless and he was going to keep the boob hidden while he hugged her. She decided she needed to wear a shirt so Betty Thomas pulled him aside and told him about that. Howard said he was really looking forward to that scene so he agreed to it. He talked about the type of bra she was wearing and how much of a bummer it was. He said that now she's doing this show over hers and she has no problem taking her top off to do the side-boob shot.
Howard said that he's beaten off 3 times since Beth left on Sunday to go on a trip. He thought that he was starting to mature but apparently that hasn't happened. He said that he's been watching some porn and liked the Bree Olson stuff he's been watching. He thinks that's who it is that he's been watching but he's not sure.
Howard said that he used to like watching this guy Master Bill in porn. He said that this new porn he's been watching has something that's kind of disturbing. He said that this guy smacks Bree's vagina and he doesn't get that. Howard said that the guy also spits on the chick's asshole and it makes him gag. He was barely able to talk about it because it was making him sick just thinking about it.
Howard said that he likes to take his underwear off when he's beating off because it makes him feel sexier. He said that he has to smell the tissues after he does it too. He said it smells like ammonia and he can't believe that came out of him. He said he won't tell Beth that he was doing this stuff if she asks about it.
Richard came in and told Howard that he likes jacking off too. He asked Howard if he likes to look down at his penis when he's finishing. Howard said that he doesn't do that but he does have a move where he squeezes his penis and gets the rest of it out of there when he thinks he's all done.
Richard said he likes to see how much of a load he has when he's finishing. Howard cut him off and said that this was too much of a discussion about that subject.
Howard congratulated Mary on her new show and wished her luck with that. He said that her husband is doing well too. He was directing some crummy little plays and all of a sudden he was a co-producer for this ''Brothers and Sisters'' show so he's doing really well.
The caller said that Eric is really negative when he calls in but Howard told him that Eric takes his lumps too. He let him go and said that Eric was doing this press conference yesterday where he was kicking people out of his chat and muttering about stuff.
Howard said that he had the audio from this press conference so he went right into it. Eric started off asking if the room could hear him. There was some silence and then he said that in the past he's said he was done with the show. He said that he's not going to return this time even though he's done that in the past. Eric said that he's been a punching bag lately and he doesn't want that. He also doesn't want his girlfriend to be used as a punching bag.
Eric said that none of this relationship was fake, it was just the break up that was faked on the air. Eric then told some people to get out of the chat he was in.
Howard said it sounds like there's a vacuum cleaner on behind Eric with the bad audio quality. He played more of the clip where Eric was talking about not being a part of ''that show'' anymore. He also says that Johnny (Fratto) is done with the show as well. He said that neither of them want anything to do with the show. One of the guys in Eric's chat told him that Johnny was sound asleep as he was talking about this stuff so he hadn't commented on it.
Howard said that it sounded like someone was wrestling with his equipment. He said that it just goes on and on and on. He played a little more of it where Eric went off on Howard a little more and then told some more people to get the fuck out of the chat room.
Howard said that was just a little piece of that press conference. He said that there was more from him where he says he stopped doing the show because he wasn't able to get in some plugs and stuff. Eric thinks that he can stay off the show now because he has some support from some people who he didn't have support from before. Eric was correcting people on the spelling of Fratto in the chat and then there was some buzzing noise from the other people in the chat.
Howard said that some people complained during the press conference about Eric's cursing. He played that clip where Eric was asking people if they listen to ''that show'' because they have cursing on it all the time. Howard said it sounds like Eric is doing his show from inside a blender.
Howard played another clip where Eric was kicking people out of his chat. He was telling people to go away after they asked him to pick his nose on camera and things like that. Howard said he has like 4 people on that chat and he's kicking them all out.
JD came in and said that there's one clip where Eric is talking about cursing on the show and he gets drowned out by something. Howard played through it and Eric talks about the cursing on Howard's show and told the people in the room to stop getting on his case about cursing. Then there's a loud noise that comes over him and drowns him out. Howard said someone suggested that it might be Eric's power chair making all of the noise.
Fred played a sound of an airplane and had Howard and Robin trying to talk over that so their show sounded like Eric's show. Robin thought it sounded like some kind of science fiction background music behind Eric.
Howard said that Crazy Alice is upset with Eric so he got her on the phone. Alice said that she's angry with him because he keeps saying he's not going to call the show. She said that Howard made this guy's life so fucking good but he doesn't see that. Howard said that she's right. He got her all of this action with Johnny Fratto, the JFSC, Kendra and more but he doesn't show any appreciation for it.
Alice said that she doesn't appreciate anyone slapping Howard in the face like that. She went off on Riley Martin as well. She said that Howard is a good person and he's like a saint to her. She said that he gave her some great stuff last year and he really appreciates him and loves him. Howard said he loves her too. Alice told Eric to rot in hell.
Alice said she had to get back to bed and thanked him for letting her speak her mind. Howard let her go and said that they had an angry voice mail from Alice. He played that one where she goes off about Black History month. She was yelling about OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson and other guys. She yelled about OJ Simpson and said that he may have gotten away with those murders for now but he didn't get away from God. She screamed out the N-word and said she hates some of those people. Then the voice mail cut her off.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using some Crazy Alice audio clips. They called a guy who stayed on the line with her and tried to sweet talk her even though she was yelling at him. Howard said that's one of his favorites.
Howard said that Eric the Midget appears to be done with the show now. He had a prank call they made to Eric one time where they told him they had Carrie Underwood on the phone for him. They set him up and let Eric talk to her until she asked him if he likes dancing and if he was small in the pants. She also asked him if he had ever been stepped on in a large crowd or if he'd ever been mistaken for a leprechaun. She asked him to start rubbing himself for her and then called him a little troll. Eric stuck with the call and kept asking her questions. She asked him to say ''Da plane, da plane!'' and he did it. She asked him to rub his Smurf cock on the phone and he did that as well. She asked him about his underroo underwear. The woman told Eric to say he wanted to fuck her and he did that too.
Robin wondered why they hadn't played that call in a long time. Howard said that was from back at the K-Rock days and they had to bleep that call quite a bit. He said he had to resurrect it since they hadn't played it in a long time.
Howard said they have an Elephant Boy call that they used to have to bleep over at K-Rock. He had that one uncensored too. He played that one next. It was one where Elephant Boy called some black people and told him he was going to open a Korean deli in their neighborhood and wanted to get their opinion. The woman he spoke to said she didn't understand a word he was saying. She kept hanging up on him.
Howard said that they have Beetlejuice stopping in today. They also have Robert Schimmel coming in to promote his new book. He had to go to break after that.
Fred said that's the reason he has a problem with John. He said he has an arrogance about him that makes him feel that he deserves all of this stuff. Howard said that if John was doing really well he wouldn't be doing commercials for Tahiti Village. He said that he doesn't have a problem with them though.
Howard said that he had no beef with John and now he does so he can go fuck himself. He told John to stay away from him from now on. Fred said that the disrespect came fast and furious. Howard said that he's had it with him and he's a ''talentless fuck.'' He said all he did was stutter. Howard said that he was asked if he could do the Bubba show and he had no problem until he heard this.
Howard played a clip from Adam Carolla's interview where he was asking John about working for ''Stern'' and what that was like. Howard said that Adam likes to call him ''Stern'' and he's not sure what that's about. He said he's kind of ticked off about all of this shit.
In the clip John tells Adam that they don't take care of people financially over there at the Stern Show. Fred said that there have been comedians who said that John didn't pay them very well when he was doing his comedy shows. He said that John took the lion's share of the money and didn't pay the other guys, who were doing most of the work, the kind of money they deserved.
Howard said that they told John that the job there wasn't going to pay a lot of money. He knew that when he started there. He said that they helped him get jobs there at K-Rock when they were there and gave him plugs for his comedy shows and stuff. He said that he wasn't an underpaid super-talent like he seems to think he was. He said that John just answered the phones there and went out and read questions that they wrote for him. That all led to him getting the job at the Tonight Show.
Howard said he felt like he was underpaid at K-Rock himself. Ralph called in and said he's glad that this finally came out. He said that no one was making John stay there at the show when he was there. He was an intern there who should have moved on to do his own thing instead of sticking around for years not making any money.
Howard said that when he wanted to get out of a low paying job, he moved on. He said he didn't sit around blaming other people for not making the kind of money he was making. Ralph asked if John knows that he wouldn't be on the Tonight Show if he hadn't had that job with Howard.
Howard said that Bubba's people asked if it was okay to have John on their show and he said he had no problem with it until now. Gary said that john could have left the job if he felt he was underpaid. Howard said that he wants John to stop having his wife talking to his girlfriend every minute.
Howard wondered what happened to Stuttering John's stutter too. He said that now he sounds like an elder statesman when he's talking to Adam. Howard said that he doesn't get Adam's ''Stern'' thing either. He seemed to be trying to get John riled up in that clip.
Howard played more of John's comments about him and he talks about how he has 3 kids and wanted to move on in the business. Fred said that his comment should have stopped right there, he shouldn't have gone on to say anything else.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he's not sure what's going on with Adam either but maybe it has something to do with his relationship with Jimmy Kimmel. That led to the guys talking about John's job over at the Tonight Show and how they pre-record all of his stuff now and maybe his days are numbered over there. Howard went off on John saying that he can go fuck himself after hearing these comments. The guys talked about the things that John was always up to behind the scenes there.
Howard said that John should just move on with his career and not cry about not getting paid when he was working there. He said that he was paid what he was worth when he was there and he wonders if Jay Leno is reevaluating what he's worth there.
Ralph asked Howard to play more of the interview because he wants to hate him even more. Howard replayed the clip where John complained about not being paid well over there at the Stern Show. John said that he wanted to move on in the business and he had to leave that job to do that. Howard said that's what everyone has to do. John was given a shift at K-Rock doing his own show and not many people get that opportunity. Howard said he did that as a favor to John to help him make some money.
Tim Sabean came in and said that they were going to do a Stuttering John retrospective and he was going to do an interview with him but he wanted plugs for his movie every hour. Tim said he asked John to help him out there but John was appalled that he'd even ask him to do that. Howard told Tim he shouldn't have to beg that asshole. Tim said that John was appalled that he would ask him to do a personal favor. Howard told him to tell john to go fuck himself.
The guys were saying that John would bring out the good comics out on the road to do stand-up and he'd rip off some material from the other guys. Fred was saying that he heard that from some people but didn't say who it was.
Howard played more of the audio where John was complaining about the stuff that Howard would do to him when he was there. He said that when he'd go out to do comedy shows Howard would get angry with them. Howard said that's because he was slapping the name ''Howard Stern'' on those gigs and making him look bad when he did shit shows. He said he doesn't want to do shitty shows and stick his name on them.
The more Howard listened to this stuff the more pissed off he got. He told John to shut the fuck up and to suck his cock. He said that he wants his wife to stop calling his girlfriend too. He said he's going to have a talk with Beth about that.
The guys talked about how John is stuck on something that went on over 5 years ago. They said that he should be talking about stuff he's doing now, like lifting up that mug on the Tonight Show. Howard said he doesn't do anything else on that show. He said that he's been cool to John all this time and this is the way he gets thanked.
Howard said that John should remember where he came from. He said that if he wasn't happy there he should have just left. He said he had a record deal and that didn't take off. He was good at stuttering and asking questions that they wrote for him.
Gary said that John would blame them for making him have to go out and do shows to make money. He said that John would say that they made him have to go out and do Tony and Tina's Wedding.
Howard said that he liked John when he was there but he really wasn't missed when he left. He said that this is really tacky when he hears John going out and bad mouthing him on a show that's struggling. Howard said that John should have gone on there and said that Howard was really good to him. He said that John should have thanked him for giving him all that he did instead of complaining about this kind of stuff. He said that John is bitter and he can keep going to say that shit but he shouldn't look for him in the future. He said that he doesn't want them doing any kind of special about him there either.
Howard played some of the interview where John and Adam were talking about Adam's new movie. Howard went on to said that John has a movie preview where he uses some clips that he owns and he didn't get permission for that. He said that he should think about that shit before he goes out and bad mouths him.
Howard played more of John plugging his new movie ''One, Two Many'' on Adam's show. He was talking about what a great actor Jeffry Ross was in the movie. The guys goofed on him about that. John said that his movie comes out on April 10th and it comes out on DVD on the 15th. Howard thought that was kind of funny. 5 days in the theaters before it hits DVD. John was also plugging the Tahiti Village thing on Adam's show.
John asked Adam to come out and see his movie screening. Howard said that he challenges anyone to sit through that piece of shit. He said that Jay Leno isn't plugging that crap. He figures that John will blame him for the failure of that movie when it doesn't make any money.
Howard said that John wouldn't have been booked on Adam's show if he hadn't been on the Stern Show. Robin asked why John had to go on that show to promote his movie when he works on the biggest late night show there is.
Howard had another clip of John talking about his starting salary at K-Rock. He said that it was 10 thousand a year. Howard said that John was an intern and they got him a paying job there. He wasn't supposed to be making money, he was an intern. Fred asked where an intern becomes a part of a huge radio program like that. Nowhere. John was very lucky to have what he did and now he's complaining about it.
Howard played more of John talking about how he gave his 2 weeks notice to Tom Chiusano and he leaned over to him and said ''no way'' like it was unbelievable. Howard said ''who cares...'' but then said that he does care obviously.
Lisa said that they had a delay button ready to go for Fred because they were worried that he might curse on the air. Lisa said that she spoke to a doctor about Jim Florentine's bad gas and what might be causing it. She'll have more on that today. Lisa said that the doctor suggested that Robin might want to check Jim's underwear for stains because farters can sometimes make a mess in their pants. Howard thanked her for that and went to break a short time later.
Howard showed Robin some of the pictures of the guys they have coming in for the Man Boob contest. He had a couple of them that had big boobs and Robin said that some of them are putting her to shame. Howard said there's a guy on The Biggest Loser who has the biggest man tits he's ever seen.
Howard said that Beetlejuice was there and he apparently had some new teeth. Beet came walking in a short time later and they told him he looks good. Howard had him give them a smile and said his teeth make him look handsome. Beet pulled out his teeth for them after yanking on them a bit. Robin said they look really good but Beet said they're fake.
Beetlejuice said that the teeth feel good and he can eat with them in. Gary said that he just got them yesterday and he doesn't know how to put them back in yet. Howard told him to put them back in and Beet attempted to put them back in. It took a few seconds but he got them in.
Beet said he's going to get some new ones on the bottom next year. He said he has to wait 3 months before he gets those. Howard asked Beetlejuice if he knows about the tooth fairy. Beet said that she never came to him.
Howard said that Beet had a couple of things to promote today. He said that he's touring with Bob Levy and Bob said that he barely sleeps anymore. Beetlejuice said he sleeps all day. Howard heard that Beet doesn't like Bob's fiancÚ either. Beet said that's right but he's not sure why. He said that it might be because she's always with him.
Howard asked for Bob's fiancÚ to come in after that so they could straighten it out. Beetle said that he doesn't know if she's good looking or not. He said that he doesn't deal with women. Gary told Howard that she wasn't even there so he's not sure where he got that idea. Howard said that someone told him that she was there.
Howard said that he heard that Beet gets a new cell phone ever week or so. Beet said that he has a couple of friends that he calls. He said he knows how to dial the phone just fine.
Robin said she heard that Beet likes to eat a lot and he'll get up really early in the morning and he'll go to the buffet, eat, then got to McDonald's and eat there. Howard told him that's too much food. Beet said that he's not fat, he's over 28 pounds.
Howard told Beet that if he keeps eating like that he's going to get fat. Beetle couldn't remember what he had for breakfast but Robin said she's heard that he has like 11 pieces of bacon for breakfast. Howard said he loves that Robin lays in bed talking about Beetlejuice with Jim Florentine. Robin said that she never said that was happening.
Howard said he heard that Beet gets a lot of chicks at these comedy shows he does. He also heard that Beet hates Sal. Beet said that Sal is really annoying and a lot of people hate him when he's on stage. He said that he doesn't like him because most of the audiences don't like him. Howard had Sal come in to talk to Beet about that. Beet said he doesn't hate Sal, he doesn't like him, but he doesn't hate him either.
Sal came in and said that last week there was no women to come up on stage to let Beet do his ass licking thing so he had to do it instead. That's what led to Beetle hating him. Sal pulled down his pants and showed Howard why Beet hates his ass so much. Beet told him to get out of there and said that he's fine with Sal.
Howard thought that Beet's phone was ringing but Beet said it wasn't. Fred played the phone ringing sound clip and Beet thought that it was his phone so he answered it. Sal played along with that and pretend to be calling him.
Howard heard that Beetlejuice has a million bucks in his bank account now and congratulated him on that. Sal told him that Levy pays him in Monopoly money so it's not real money he's got. Howard asked Beet about the presidential primaries and things like that. He had answers for all of that stuff. He said that the President was ''Mah Fatt'' or something like that.
Howard told Beet he looked great this morning in his jogging suit. He talked to him about that for a few seconds and then told a story about Richard Christy going out to drink with Beet at 6 in the morning one time when they were out on the road. He was the only one who would drink at that time of morning. Richard came in and said that Beet has no sense of time so he didn't even know that they were drinking at that time of the day.
Richard said that he loves drinking with Beetle because he opens up and talks like a real person when he drinks. He said that he complains about his home life and stuff like that. Beet said he never does that but Sal said that's bullshit. He said that he always complains about that stuff.
Howard asked Beet if he thinks that Richard is gay. Beet said that he's not sure about that. He said he wouldn't let Richard suck his cock. Howard told Beet that if he sticks his cock in Richard's mouth, that's not gay.
Sal said that Beet hates Jim Florentine. Beet said that he smells really bad and shits on himself. He said that one night he was on stage and he told him he smells like shit and told him to go take a shower. Sal said that Jim will save up some farts and blast them in Beetlejuice's face. Robin was laughing but saying ''Nooo, no, no, noooo'' when she heard that.
The guys were telling her about all of this stuff Jim does and she said that she's not sleeping with him. Howard asked Beet why he thinks that Robin is with him. He said he has no idea and she should break up with him. Beet said that he'd go out with her.
Richard said that Beet hates the Iron Sheik too. Beet said he doesn't hate the guy. Richard said that they were back stage at a show and Iron Sheik will be talking and Beet will mock him. Beet kept saying that he doesn't hate him. Richard said that Iron Sheik yelled at him at one show and Beet just turned his back on him.
Howard gave Beetlejuice some plugs for some shows he had coming up. He's going to be out in Ohio this Saturday and a bunch of other local area clubs in the New York, New Jersey area. He said that they're even sending him out to visit kids at hospitals. Beet said he goes there to cheer kids up and they give the kids some money. You can find out more about that at JollyDwarf.com and more about comedy appearances at RevBobLevy.com.
Sal talked about the way Beet will turn his menu upside down when they go out to eat and he pretends that he can read it. Howard asked him what his favorite Chinese food is. Sal said that he loves chicken so he helps him out with the menu when they go out to eat. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later after giving him a few more plugs.
Fred played the phone ring again and Howard pretended that he was the one calling him. Beet was playing with him and said he knew it was Howard. He said something about Howard having a big white cock. They went back and forth on that as Howard was pretending to be a woman. He said that he was wet so Beet said that his balls were wet. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said that he got a copy of an article about how CBS Radio is struggling after he left the company. He said that CBS is still having a tough time recovering from his leaving. He read through the article and said that even after they sold 39 radio stations, they're still showing a loss. He said that they attribute that to his leaving. Howard said that he really doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about that stuff.
Howard said that this is why radio is putting so much money into trying to stop the merger. They hate to see him being successful. He said that maybe they should put Stuttering John on the air, they can probably get him at a good price.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has to call Ryan Seacrest up and tell him he's lost his mind. He said that he should put him in his place. Howard said that he really doesn't care.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he used to work for the Adam Carolla show. He said that he used to listen to Howard's show and then he'd hear Adam talking about the same stuff that Howard had already talked about. The guy said he had to quit Adam's show after they hired Danny Bonaduce at the station.
Bob came in and said that he doesn't think he can make a lot of money with this book but he's hoping that someone might get something out of it. He said he found humor in it and hopes that others will. Howard asked if Bob's new marriage is going badly. Bob said that it hasn't been the same since the pottery guy got involved.
Howard said that Bob's book is really good and he's about 1/4 of the way through it. He said he got an advance copy of it. He said that Bob came close to becoming a TV star when his show got picked up. Then 8 days after it got picked up, he was diagnosed with cancer. Then Howard and Bob worked on a show that was going to air but the guy they were dealing with at the network ended up leaving and the deal got dropped.
Howard said that Bob's wife Melissa was there and she's never been there in the studio. Howard said that she looked better than ever when she came in. Howard said that she was looking adorable. He asked her how old she is. She said she just turned 34. Howard said that she must get hit on a lot but she said that she doesn't notice it if she does. She said she had 2 kids she has to chase after and doesn't see that.
Howard said that Melissa is a major part of the story in his book because he left his wife for her in the middle of his cancer battle. He said that Bob is a stud because he was dying of cancer and dumped his wife for a younger woman. He said most guys can't do that.
Howard said that he didn't think that this marriage was going to last after that pottery guy thing came up. Melissa said that it was all Bob's imagination and there was nothing going on there. She said that they already fought about it on the air and she didn't want to do that again. Howard said that it kills a guy when he sees his wife getting into a car with another man. She said that he taped her in the car with the other guy and that was lovely.
Bob said that they've worked through that and the guy isn't a pottery guy anymore, he's teaching Yoga. She said that she's not taking classes with him, she's doing that with someone else. She said that they live across the street from the guy that she takes class with. She told Bob not to bring it up today because they have to live near the guy.
Howard asked Bob if he wanted to tell Melissa that he loves her right now. Bob said sure and said ''I love you right now...'' She said the same thing. Melissa said that she has no one that she would ever cheat with, other than her neighbor Kelly. Bob said that he gets jealous of her texting this Kelly chick all the time. He said he checks her phone and the texts are always gone after she sends them. bob thinks that she might be trying to hide something by deleting them. She said that she doesn't do that to hide anything, she does it to clear it out so she doesn't have to scroll through all of that stuff.
Howard asked Bob if he thinks that she's a lesbian or something. He wasn't sure about that and said that the two of them are always out doing stuff together.
Howard told Bob that she's hotter now than she was when he married her. Bob thanked him for that, so did Melissa. Howard asked Bob if he thinks that she's kissed other men since he married her. Bob said he doesn't even think about that. Howard asked if he thinks she ever kissed the pottery guy. She said that she was going to throw up from this conversation.
Melissa said that Bob is like a 12 year old and that's kind of annoying but she really does love him. She said that he doesn't like to drive himself anywhere and he acts like a kid all the time. Howard asked if they're still physical with each other. Bob said the cops told them they had to stop or they'd both be arrested. Then he said ''Oh, that kind of physical...''
Howard asked Bob if he thinks that he'll ever get his marriage right. He said that the other day he came home and Melissa was sleeping in the same bed as his daughter Jess. He said that he thinks that his daughter might do something with her just to fuck with him.
Howard asked Melissa if she'd be willing to take a lie detector test about the pottery guy. She said she would but Bob said that she'd be able to beat it.
Howard gave Bob a plug for his book ''Cancer on $5 a Day* *(chemo not included): How Humor Got Me Through the Toughest Journey of My Life'' and Bob told him that he gave him a special thank you in the book because he called him when he was in the hospital. Bob said that Howard called him and asked him if he thought he was going to live through New Year's Eve that year because Robin had Anthony Quinn in her death pool and he was on his way out.
Howard asked Bob what the worst part of the conversation that Melissa had with the pottery guy. Bob said that it was something about him taking her out to get stoned and dumping off his garbage at his house. Bob said that she giggled and said something about it. Bob said that he has that tape on like 7 different hard drives now.
Melissa said it would be nice if they could just drop all of that and not have Bob being paranoid about all of that stuff. Howard asked her about the yoga classes and what she wears. She said that she wears a bra after Howard questioned her about that. She said that she wears yoga pants that show off her ass but it's not sticking out or anything.
Howard said that he'd get jealous if Beth wanted to get it on with another woman and he can see why Bob would be worried. Melissa said that Kelly may not want to be around her after she hears this show today. Gary came in and said that they were really far away from each other on the couch and it was kind of weird. They were separated and Bob was leaning away from her. Bob and Melissa said that they still hold hands when they walk around. Bob said they did that last night but it was only for about 4 minutes.
Howard asked Bob if he's ever talked to a psychiatrist about all of that. Bob said that he has. He doesn't think he's all that needy though and he's racing the life clock. He said he's 58 years old and he's still working. He said that he should have retired by now.
Howard asked Bob's daughter Jess to come in. Bob said that she was staying with him at the hotel yesterday and she ended up going out and staying with some other guy too.
Jess said that as of yesterday Melissa and her dad hadn't had sex in 9 days. She said that Bob gets all upset with Melissa about stuff and doesn't have sex with her. Melissa said that it was just one of those weeks when it just hasn't happened. Bob said that it's been one of those 9 day weeks. Melissa said that she needs sex too but she needs that signal from him that he wants her.
Howard said that this sounds bad and Jess agreed. She said that her father can't afford to leave her though. Jess asked them if they had sex last night. They didn't. Howard asked why they didn't. Melissa said that she's having her period, that's why they didn't do it. Howard said that he'd do her even if she was on her period. Bob said that he's not turned off and she gets her period on every major holiday, birthday, and everything else.
Howard said that this is a big deal that Bob is going to be on the Today Show today. He spent a minute on that and then took some phone calls. One guy said that he thinks that Bob is going to find out that his wife has been cheating on him for a while now and the text messages would prove it. Bob said that he saw an ad for something that tracks text messages that go to her phone. He said that he might have to get that.
Melissa said that she feels like there might be hidden cameras in the house or something. Bob said that he has left cameras out in the house but he doesn't have anything hidden. He said that he once taped something because his 17 year old daughter was talking about how hard it was for her boyfriend to put a condom on when they were in the pool.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his wife cheated on him with a painter. He said that Melissa isn't giving Bob any reinforcement to make him think that she's not cheating. Jess said that Bob asked her if she thinks that Melissa is going to leave her because she's been getting laser bikini line removal and going to yoga and stuff. Melissa said that she did that for herself. She doesn't like all the hair down there. Howard said he'd have it done too because he wouldn't want to get his hairs stuck in the pottery wheel.
Howard told Bob that this woman is really good looking and he can see why Bob would get worried about her. She's extremely hot and she's really come together and maybe he thinks that she's settled for him and he's afraid she's going to leave him.
Howard told Melissa that she's very Cameron Diaz-ish but with good skin. Bob wasn't sure that was a compliment at first. Melissa said that she can't even try new stuff in bed with Bob because he questions her about it like she's doing something wrong. Bob said that if it's something she hasn't done for 2 years and it comes out of the blue, he wonders why it happened all of a sudden.
Bob was saying that his mother actually set up an account for Jess on J-Date and she tries to set her up with a bunch of guys. Jess said that her grandmother will actually correspond with guys as if she's her. That all led to the guys talking about blow jobs and both Melissa and Jess were saying that they're not really into that. They said that they're not sure if any girl is really into it. Howard said that was kind of depressing to hear because he wants a woman to enjoy doing something like that.
Howard said that if he were Bob, he'd be banging Melissa all the time. Bob said that you need the other person to go along with it though. Howard said that he and Beth have had conversations about stuff like that because Beth used to grab his penis for no reason and now she doesn't really do it.
Howard said that he had high hopes for this marriage but it doesn't look good. Jess said that maybe he won't live that long and she'll be able to go out and find someone else. She said that he was saying that his life clock was ticking after all.
Howard said he gets depressed whenever Bob comes on the show. He said he likes his book because it's not too long. He said that he's very introspective and honest in the book. He gave him a plug for that and then took some more phone calls.
One caller asked if Howard thinks that Melissa cheated on Bob with that pottery guy. Melissa said that she saw that it was the guy who was trying to make that attachment and she had to get away from it. Bob said that's when she said ''I'd better get dressed and get outta here.'' Melissa responded with ''Oh that's nice...''
The caller told Bob that Bob should have gone over and cracked the guy over the head with a bat. He said that he should have nipped it in the bud and taken care of the guy as soon as he thought something was up. The girls said that he'd be in jail right now if he had done that.
Howard started to wrap up with the guys and said that he doesn't see blow jobs in Melissa's future. She said that she's willing to do them on special occasions. Bob didn't sound so thrilled with that. Howard gave Melissa an F, Marry, Kill with the pottery guy, the yoga instructor and Kelly. She said that she would kill the pottery instructor, fuck the yoga guy and marry Kelly. She said that she gets along with Kelly so she had to pick someone out of that group.
Howard gave Bob some more plugs for his book and told the girls he was happy that they had come in. He said that it's very difficult to write a book and he knows because he did two of them. Bob said that he got through that whole cancer thing with laughter and he had to write about it. He said that they have a book launch party tonight at Caroline's comedy club. He didn't invite Howard because he knows he won't come. Bob said that Don Buchwald will probably be there though.
Howard read that Bob was thinking about getting a pubic merkin to put on his crotch during the time he lost his hair from chemotherapy. He said that his did didn't look right with no hair there. He said that he looked like a plucked chicken down there.
Gary said that there was someone who called in and said that he had seen Bob at a show and he did a Powerpoint presentation at the end of his show that wasn't funny. Bob said that it was just pictures and stuff that he shows to prove that you can move on with your life after surviving cancer. He's had 2 kids since the cancer and he shows pictures.
Benjy told Howard that he's written to Jessica on J-Date and her grandmother rejected him. He said that was kind of weird. Howard wrapped up with them a short time later.
Steve came in with his Howard 100 News preview. He said that they have a story about Jay Leno possibly moving to ABC next year when he leaves NBC. Howard said that he spoke to Jimmy Kimmel and he was saying that he'd leave if Jay got hired over there at ABC.
Steve said that Big Foot is looking for a place to stay up in Vermont. He's been running around looking for someone to call the FBI and come and get the local cops to help him out.
Howard wondered if Conan is really going to get Jay's job next year. NBC made a deal with hi ma few years ago and they'd have to pay big bucks to him if they don't give him that job. Howard doesn't understand why they'd let Jay go when he's the number one guy in late night. He said that he's not a fan of Jay's personally but professionally he has to respect him for getting the number one late night ratings. He said that it's obviously not just the fact that it's the Tonight Show. Jon Hein seems to think that it does have something to do with it being NBC and a late night show. He said that you have to respect Leno's ratings. He said he thinks that if Conan took over and Jay went to another show, Conan would beat Jay.
Steve got back to his list of stories they were working on and one of them is about the Jesus Twins looking for a drummer. He ran through that and got in some plugs for some stuff before Howard got back to the Leno discussion. They spent a few more minutes talking about that before Jon got to his Wrap Up Show preview.
Jon said that they're going to talk about Stuttering John and the rant that Howard went on earlier. Howard said that he just doesn't like him going around bad mouthing him after he gave him a break. Jon said that they're also going to talk about Beetlejuice and his visit today.
Robin read a story about the producers of the Oscar's apologizing to Whoopi Goldberg for being left out of a montage during the show. Howard said that it wasn't a snub and he doesn't understand why they have to apologize for that when they left out other people too.
Howard read some e-mail during the news. Some people wrote in about Jim Florentine drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Robin said that he doesn't usually drink that, it was just the little dive they were in that had it. Howard read some other mail about Artie going over to the Middle East to do entertain the troops. There was some feedback about the Mexican Delivery game they played the other day. There was some stuff about Jay Thomas' visit too so Howard read through some of that. There were a few people who agreed with Jay about the cleaning up of New Orleans. Someone suggested they give him more time on his show to talk about that kind of stuff.
Howard read some mail about Fred's appearance on Fuse last night. Robin missed it because she was in a hotel room and didn't have Fuse on her limited cable line up. Howard read some mail about Riley Martin and how ungrateful he is to Howard. The writer said that Riley is still radio gold even if he is ungrateful. Some people wrote in about Grandma Caprio's death and gave their condolences.
Robin got back to her news and talked about the Dateline ''To Catch a Predator'' segments and how they're being sued after someone committed suicide after getting caught. She read a story about Paris Hilton doing another reality TV show where she tries to find a new best friend. She had a story about Britney Spears coming out with a perfume. There was a story about Diablo Cody and how bad she looked on the Oscar's. Howard talked about her bad tattoo and how ridiculous that looked to him.
Robin read a story about a guy who committed suicide by wrapping his own head with duct tape. She had another story about the TV show ''Moment of Truth'' that has caused some trouble in a marriage after the woman in the relationship revealed some stuff about cheating on her husband on the show.
Robin read some stories about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and the stuff that's been going on between their two campaigns. That led to Howard talking about a letter he got from someone that was really despicable where they showed links toward Barack Obama being raised in a Muslim household and how he's going to try and overthrow the country. Howard thought that was out of line.
Ralph called in and brought up the ''Moment of Truth'' show that they brought up a little earlier. He said that the show is awful and they don't get into specifics on that show. He also said that they've basically ripped Howard off with that stuff. Howard said that a lot of the programming on FOX is basically his show. He brought up the ''Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader'' show and said that was a rip off of his show. He said that he almost felt like he was ripping off that lie detector show when he asked Bob's wife if she would take one. He said that he's been doing that stuff for many years and no one gives him any credit.
The guys spent some time talking about that stuff and then got on the subject of the Presidential primaries. Robin said that she'd like to endorse Hillary but she needs to run a better campaign. She said that she'd have to go with the guy who ran the better campaign, Barack Obama. She sees that he has put together a better team than Hillary did. That led to a few arguments between everyone. Jason came in and said that some of what Howard was saying was making it sound like George H. Bush should have been a good president because he had a lot of experience. The guys all argued about that stuff for a few minutes before Howard got Robin back on track with her news. Yucko the Clown even called in to chime in on that. He said something about backing Obama ''because he's a brothaaaaaahhh.''
Robin got back to her news and read through some more stories. She had one about Pam Anderson who went out and got married again and having problems in her marriage already. Howard wondered why she wants to get married over and over again to bad people. He doesn't get why she's in such a rush to do that. Robin aid that she probably just doesn't want to be alone. Howard said that he doesn't like being alone but he doesn't rush out and get married. Robin said that he's basically married because he does live with Beth.
Fred said that maybe Pam is borderline retarded. He said that there are beautiful women in there all the time and when Pam is in visiting there seems to be nothing inside that head of hers. He said that other women that come in have something going on.
Robin read a story about a guy who stabbed another guy over the presidential primaries. She had another story about a guy who mixed abortion pills into his girlfriend's yogurt. Howard threw in some audio from a movie called ''Boss nig*er'' and then read the description of the movie.
Robin read a story about John Ritter's family suing some doctors over his death. Howard said that he heard that John Ritter went to the hospital and demanded that he be put in under an assumed name. That led to them losing his records because he had changed his name. That was part of the mix up at the hospital that's being sued according to an article that they had read.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been pissing him off by getting out of there early lately. Howard told the guy that they're supposed to do a 4 hour show but they stay for 5 so he's not sure what the problem is. Howard said that he's supposed to be done around 10 but he ends up staying until 11 some days. He told the guy to get the fuck off his phone and hung up on him. Howard wondered if he's supposed to stay there until 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then end the show.
Howard and Robin talked about American Idol a little bit. Howard said he thinks he knows who the winner is going to be and it's this kid David Archuleta. He said that they might as well end the show now because that kid is going to take the win. He played some clips of him singing and said that the kid was able to change a song in a way that it still worked for him. He said that he's going to win and that's that. They spent a few more minutes talking about American Idol before Robin ended her news.
Howard took a call from Ralph who brought up some other people on the show that look pretty odd. One of the guys on the show would make a good looking girl according to Ralph. Howard agreed with him. They spent a little more time on that before Howard took a call from a guy who calls himself Chuck the Midget. chuck said that not all midgets are liars like Eric the Midget. He said that he would have flown with balloons no problem, unlike Eric. Howard thanked him for that and ended the show around 10:45am.
Jon asked if John always counts other people's money. Gary said that he really does. He's been out to lunch with clients before and John will try to find out what kind of money they're making. Jon said that John asked him what kind of money he was making off his web site when he went out to lunch with him for the first time.
Gary said that John would brow beat people about what kind of money they made. He said that he'd make people tell him the truth because he'd just keep going at it with them.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking about John and telling him to go fuck himself. Howard wondered how John was going to blame him for the failure of his movie when it tanks.
Jon said that Fred and John have had their differences before and Fred went off on him today. Gary said that when you work for a place for a long time a lot of emotions come out. He said that he and John got into a fight the day he was leaving but they were able to make up before he left. Fred never gave up on that stuff and was really harsh on John in that last week he was there at K-Rock.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that maybe they were a little harsh on John about that stuff. Gary said that he kind of knew that John may have felt that way but going out and talking about it like that can't be good for him. EH's not sure why he'd want to rattle Howard's cage. He said that Howard has the right to be pissed now because John waited all this time to come out with that crap.
Jason said that John's rap seems to be similar to what Jackie said about leaving the show and he wondered if that's where John got that from. Gary said he's not sure but he's always thought that John had the balls to step up for himself but maybe he was inspired by Jackie to talk about it like that.
Gary said that Jackie wanted him to get involved in renegotiations there at K-Rock years ago but he didn't want to get involved in that stuff. Jason said that he's friends with John so he's not going to bad mouth him. He said that he used to get on his nerves a lot but he always treated him very well. He said that John was the first guy there who would take him out to lunch and actually pay. He said that he opened up to him and to Will.
Jason said he didn't like John's comments but that's between him and Howard. He said that he can't tell John the way to feel. Gary said that this might be John's worst nightmare because he probably didn't expect this. Jason said that he probably did this for nothing too because it's not going to help him.
Gary said that he's seen this before with people and he's clearly felt that way for a long time. He said that it's been 4 years and he finally broke and told the truth about the way he feels. Jason said that he had a feeling that Adam knew what the answer was going to be. He said that John could have not answered but he went for it anyway.
Gary said that Brent from Bubba's show asked if they should cancel John's appearance. He told them not to and to ask John for his reaction to all of this. He said he wants to hear what he has to say about it. He doesn't think that John will ever call the show though. Jason said the last time John called the show was when he was on ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here'' and got brow beaten by Howard for a long time.
Shuli came in and said that John also called in one time when he was out sick one day after partying too much. He said that Howard really got on him about that. Shuli said that John used to play tape of his interviews when he was doing his stand-up. He said that he was going to tell the story about the videotape being left in Las Vegas one time and John got pissed at him for calling in with the story.
Gary said that John used to answer the phones at K-Rock and he had a lot of control over that stuff and he'd put people on probation if they had something about him that he didn't like.
Fred came in so Jon asked him about the way Howard reacted to all of that John stuff. Fred said that Howard usually takes the high road and shows some constraint but today was different. He said that he was really angry. Gary said that he's right and he could see it on Howard's face that it really bothered him.
Fred said that he doesn't hold anything against John now but he thinks that John should really just enjoy his life instead of holding on to this anger he's had for all these years. Fred said he worked for really cheap when he was starting out in the business but he doesn't complain about it like John did. He said he has no anger toward them for not paying him. Gary said he thinks that he was kind of angry during the History of Howard Stern stuff. Fred said that he was putting that on for the show. He really isn't angry about it.
Gary said that he knew what Howard made back at NBC and kind of knew what Fred made. He said that Fred was making about 10 percent of what Howard was making back then. Gary said that they don't tie themselves to that kind of stuff though and they just don't worry about it as much as John seems to.
Gary said that when he felt he was being underpaid he went and found out what other producers were being paid. He pled his case to his boss and asked for more money. Jon asked if they think that John thought that he was higher up on the food chain than he was. They all said they think he did. Jason thought he was paid the kind of money he should get for being at work for 4 hours a day.
Gary said that there were times that he'd ask John to do stuff for him and he'd pass it along to someone else. He said that was the kind of stuff that pissed him off. He said that John seemed to think that he was an on-air talent and he hated doing work after those hours.
Jon asked Gary about what it was like when John got his air shift at K-Rock. Gary said that Jon knows the answer to that and said that he's an evil person. Gary said that John did an all request show so he just had to talk up a couple of songs. He'd make up the requests too. He said that he'd record the show during Robin's news so he could get out of there at a good time. He said that John used to brag about how he'd get that show recorded so early that he could still drive home and be there on time to hear his own show airing.
JD said that it would only take John about 15 minutes to record his show and then he'd say it was time for lunch. He said he tried to stay away from John when he was there because he seemed like a bit of a shady character.
Fred said that maybe Adam was setting John up during that interview he did with him. He's not sure about that. He said that Adam wasn't really funny during the interview and it's supposed to be a comedy show. He seemed to have an agenda with him and it wasn't funny.
Jason said he thought that the whole thing came off kind of odd and it almost seemed like Adam wanted to say the stuff that John was saying. Gary said that he's never gotten that warm feeling from Adam but he really doesn't know him well enough. He said that he just isn't a warm kind of guy and doesn't seem to want to get to know him any better.
John took a call from Wolf in Philly who asked the guys what they think about the kind of money they're making now and if it's worth it to them to stay there. Jason said he was able to get enough to make it worth it to him but he's not sure about John what his specific demands were. Fred said that he never heard Gary complaining about the kind of money he was making, he just did his work and took what he was paid.
Gary said that there were times when he was underpaid but he enjoyed the job so much that he would think about how much worse it could be.
Benjy said that the great thing about the show is that they can do just about anything they want and they have unlimited potential if they can figure out how to take advantage of that. He was also saying that people ask him how much he makes and tell him that Howard is making so much more.
Gary said that he has people come up to him thinking that he's part of that $500 million that Howard is making. He said that he just works under that guy making that kind of money. Fred said he had something like that happen to him. He said that he had a guitar shop owner ask him if he wanted to buy a Les Paul guitar that cost $500,000 thinking that he was making the kind of money that Howard was getting paid. He said he's making a good living but he can't afford to buy a half million dollar guitar.
Fred said that he didn't understand why Adam was talking to John about the business the way he was because he should know better having worked in the business himself. Jason was also saying that John used to drive Tom Chiusano nuts all the time with his nonsense and he'd try to make his life miserable.
Gary said that almost everyone out there thinks that they're underpaid no matter who they are or what job they're working. He said that's just the way it is. Gary told some stories about Jackie and the demands he used to make when they'd go into other markets. He said he had a formula worked out for what kind of money he should be making when they'd go into those new markets.
Gary said that Ralph has always had a problem with John and today he really let it rip on him. Ralph was on the phone and started singing ''Happy days are here again'' when he got on the line. He said that he was very happy to hear this story this morning. Ralph said that the negatives about John outweighed the positives. He said he did have some fun with John once in a while but there was a lot of negative stuff about him that he didn't like. He said that the final straw with him was when he was out in L.A. once and tried to get together with him. He said he went over to see him and John kept telling him not to tell Howard about what he was up to. He didn't even know what it was he didn't want him to talk about. Then he'd hear that John told someone at the show about what he was up to instead. That's what really pissed him off.
Ralph said that John knew that this was going to get back to Howard and it was going to drive him nuts. He had to know that was going to happen. He said that makes it even more of a fuck you to Howard than it was before. Fred said that he thinks that it was just John burning a bridge that he didn't need to burn. He said that John probably thinks that it wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe it was something he needed to get off his chest too and maybe that's why he did it.
Fred asked Ralph if he thought that Adam was leading John on during that. He said he did kind of get that feeling. Ralph said that maybe Adam and John had that conversation off the air and that's why he led him down that road.
Ralph asked if John is still going on Bubba's show. Gary said that he wants him to go on so he can hear John's response. He knows that John won't call him and explain himself so he wants to hear it on Bubba. Ralph said that they should give John a big fuck you and keep him off that show. Ralph said that he's seen the trailer for John's movie and he can tell it's shit. He said he doesn't need to be in a fire to know that it's hot.
Greg Fitzsimmons called in and talked about some of the shows that he did with John back in the day. He said that he'd do it with people like Artie and Nick DiPaolo. Greg said that he really doesn't care about what other people get paid as long as he gets the kind of money he's looking for. He said that John paid him what he expected to get paid so it wasn't any of his business what the other guys were making.
Greg said that he's looking to fight Dave Navarro but all he's gotten out of him is an offer to go on his internet radio show. He said that he's only willing to fight him, not go on his radio show. He said that they should be in the same weight range too.
Greg said that John was able to go out and get a job working on the Tonight Show and he's making the same kind of money doing that as he was working out on the road. They had to go to break a short time later. Greg threw in a plug for an upcoming comedy show he had. Get tickets at Ticketmaster.com.
Jon took another call and ended up saying that all of this is going to get back to Stuttering John. Gary said that he's pretty sure that John was up at the crack of dawn today because someone probably called him and woke him up. He said that John is probably freaking out now because he thinks that he didn't do anything wrong.
Gary said that there is a lot of audience out there who are going to be reacting to John today and he's going to have to suffer through all of that.
Fred said that John works in a town where a lot of people listen to the show and people are going to be reacting to it today. Gary said that he thinks that John's next move will be to have a conversation with Howard, off the air, and Howard is going to put a stop to that. Gary thinks that John is going to try and do that through his wife and Beth but Howard won't have any part of that. He said that if John called Howard, he'd be getting an ear full from him if he got a hold of him.
Gary said that if he were John, he'd call Bubba and explain himself to them. He said that's a start and maybe he can smooth it over a little bit there.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked if they think that John is upset that he didn't come to SIRIUS. Gary said that he doesn't think that he'd be happy because he might not make quite as much as he's making at The Tonight Show. He has an office of his own out there and they pay him very well. Plus he doesn't get fucked with like he would if he was still on the Stern Show.
Gary said that the only thing missing for John is the creativity that he had there on Howard's show. Other than that he thinks that he's happy.
Fred said that he thinks that if you're hot in the business, someone is going to throw money at you. He said that he wrote John some of those questions that made him famous and he never got a thank you from him when he left. He said that he is the guy who said the lines and he's the one that's going to be remembered for them. He said that John never had any respect for him when he was there. He said that made it tough to write lines for him sometimes.
Gary said that he thinks that John respected Fred creatively but he didn't like the way he goofed on him on the air. Gary thinks that John thought that Fred was out to get him. Fred said that he didn't hate John but John did have some resentment toward him and that bothered him. He said that he really doesn't think that John respects anyone, other than maybe Howard.
Gary and Fred talked about some of the stuff that John did for them and how great some of those questions were that John would ask. Fred said that when he hears people laughing and responding to those questions, he feels like it's a touchdown for him. He said that he loved writing questions that pissed off people like Tommy Lasorda. He said that he would craft questions for John that would set people off.
Jon said that John had a huge set of balls and he would go out there and do those interviews with no problem. Gary said that in the beginning John had no idea what most of the questions even meant so it wasn't really balls. He said that he'd ask questions that would freak people out and not think a thing about it because he had no idea what the questions were even about.
A caller said that he hated John when he was on the show because he'd always throw people under the bus if he was backed into a corner. Jon said that he must have loved the stuff that happened after he threw people under the bus though. The caller said he didn't like people like that in his life and he really didn't like John doing it.
The guys talked about the laugh that John had and how evil it was. Shuli said he loved that and when Fred would do his impression of him and make him lock up his face. Gary said that he hated that John would goof on him about how pussy whipped he was and how it was actually making his life at home miserable. Gary said the worst part was that his wife loved John and didn't have a problem with him talking about how pussy whipped he was.
A woman called in and told the guys that she works at a radio station where they replaced Howard. She said that they can show the humanity in any person and that's why she loves the show so much.
Gary said that Fred handled it very well when the caller told him how bad the performance was and he just congratulated him on hitting all of the negative points. Fred said he had a blast over there and thanked them for letting them perform over there.
Fred also talked about the audience over there at the show and how great they were. He said that maybe they were people who were rejected from MTV or something but whatever it was, they were feeding them a lot of energy and it was great. He said that most of them were black kids and they were just great. He said he wants to change his name to K-Fed now because of that. The guys got in some plugs and ended the show a short time later.
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Howard started off the show saying they had a big show today. He said that he went to get his newspaper this morning and there was a headline that read ''Baby Dreams for Stern FiancÚ.'' They had a big picture of Beth on the cover. They talk about how Beth has babies on the brain. When they were down in Atlantic City Beth apparently stopped to talk to a little girl and she seemed to be into the baby. Robin said that's some story they had right there. It was a bit of a stretch.
Howard said he didn't even remember it happening. Howard said a security guard had them walking through the secret tunnels at the casino so they hardly saw anyone out there. He said that there were no people down there when he was there. He said that Beth was in her room most of the time and he's not sure if she even saw a baby down there. Howard said that there's nothing wrong with saying hello to a kid though.
Howard said there are a lot of articles about how bad CBS radio is doing since he left and he loves to read that. He read a couple of lines about that and how they're still struggling 2 years later. Robin said that it means a lot to her too and she'd like to really say what it means but she doesn't want to be that vulgar. She talked about the case of wine that they got him as a thank you for his 20 years of service there.
Howard said that he wasn't even sure why they got him any gift when he was there. He said that he really doesn't care at this point because they're happy there at SIRIUS. Artie said that anyone would be upset about that because he was so important over there for so long. Robin said that other networks treat their talent so much better than they treated Howard at CBS. They talked about some other people who got cars and stuff like that when they worked at NBC.
Howard said that he was a bigger deal than they even thought he was over there because he was keeping the ratings up through most of the day at the stations he was on. He said that they didn't believe him when he'd say that was the case.
Johnny told Howard that he has a 5 year old kid and he's Howard's age. He said that he never thought he was going to have another kid but that's not the way things worked out. He said he was with this woman for 7-8 months and there the kid was. He said it was an accident and he really didn't want to have another one. He said he was extremely careful when he had sex and he used rubbers. He said that one time the thing came off once and that might be what happened.
Howard told Johnny that he can't have another kid and he won't let it happen. Johnny said that his kid is up at 6:30 in the morning playing Guitar Hero at full volume. Howard said that everything aggravates him at his age and he wants full attention on him, he doesn't want a kid. Johnny said that this little fucker has taken over his life. Howard said that he'd kill himself if he had another kid.
Johnny said that the minute he tries to have sex, that little fucker knows and he comes right into the room. He said he can't have that shit going on. He said he has to go to school to talk to the teachers about a bunch of crap and he doesn't know what to do.
Howard said that Johnny has to deal with kindergarten chairs at his age. He said he's done a lot in his life and he has to go to class to go through that crap. Johnny said that his wife tells people he's going to take care of a bunch of stuff for the school like he has some kind of power to do that stuff. He can't fix all of this stuff because he doesn't have as much power as his wife thinks he does.
Johnny said that his wife called him to come over to the Mercedes dealer because they were giving her a hard time. He got there and she was saying that they were making her think that it was her fault that the car was broken. It turns out that it was her fault because she was riding the brake and that's what they had to explain to him.
Howard asked Johnny when Eric the Midget is going to call in. Johnny said that he thinks that it'll be very soon. He said that Eric is just upset about Langford and how he won't give up on this Kendra story. He said that when Eric met Kendra he felt like she was very kind to him and she wasn't just trying to make money off of this whole thing.
Johnny said that Kendra touched Eric's hand and she didn't back off like so many other people would. He said that his hand is freaky and really soft and it's hard to describe it. He said that Kendra didn't have a problem with that. Jimmy Kimmel described it as feeling like a rotten plumb.
Johnny said the day that Eric was there his kid had no idea he was going to be there so it was like a scene out of E.T. when he saw him for the first time. He said that he had a hard time trying to explain to him what was going on with Eric.
Howard said he appreciates Johnny telling him what it's like having that 5 year old. Johnny said that he's got a 34 year old daughter right now and he thought he was out of the woods being a grandfather but now he's got a 5 year old in the house. Robin said she's not even sure if Johnny knows the kid's name because he keeps calling him ''little fucker.'' Johnny said that the kid is always following him around and asking questions that he doesn't have answers for.
Howard said that he knows he has about 10 good years left in him. He said that he can't be raising a kid at that age. He said that he might have 25 years of life left in him but not good years. He figures that there are only about 10 good ones left. He's already holding on to railings when he's going down stairs. He said that's what it's like to get older.
Johnny described what it's like to hear a 5 year old playing Guitar Hero and making mistakes. He said there's a distinctive sound to the game when that happens and it wakes him right up.
Howard said that he's talked to Beth about getting pregnant and how he just can't handle it if that happens. He said that she won't get an abortion if she does get pregnant so he's fucked if she does. He said that he won't stay with her if she does have a kid though.
Howard said that he and Beth were having sex the other day and the dog came in and watched them doing it. Beth smelled the dog's breath while they were doing it but that's just a dog. He said that it's one thing to have a dog doing it but when you have a kid it really throws things off. Johnny said that his son knows when he's fuckin and he gets right up and finds them wherever they're at when they're doing it. He said he's tried to go into the kitchen to hide but the kid calls out for his mommy.
Howard asked how old Johnny's wife is. He said that she's 34. Howard said that she's at the age where she still wants to bang. Howard said that Beth still says that she's not sure if her mind is going to change in the future about the kid. He said that right now she doesn't want one but it could happen some day.
Johnny said that these women don't even have to want the kid, it just happens and their bodies tell them that they want one. He said that his son asks so many questions that he's not even able to do have meetings at the house because the kid is right there asking who everyone is. He said he had to ask his wife if the kid was a cop or something and told her to get him out of the room.
Johnny said that he loves the kid because it's his but it really is a nuisance. He said that he's going to be waiting in line at McDonald's for a toy that's worth about a penny. Robin said that Johnny is very funny this morning.
Howard said that he can't give up his freedom and he won't do it either. He said that he's not going to have another kid no matter what. Johnny said that's what he thought too.
Johnny said that his brother is probably with a 21 year old hot chick right now and he's jealous of that. Johnny said he had dogs before the kid and it was like a bait and switch when they got rid of the dog and had the kid. He said that his wife was all about the dog until she got pregnant. He said that the baby came and the dog became the odd man out. Now he can't wait to get rid of the dog so they gave it to his wife's mother. Now the mother is coming out for a visit and bringing the dog with her.
Howard said that he enjoys being with Beth and he's not looking for anymore responsibility. He said that he's got hundreds of people working for him and that's enough responsibility for him. Johnny told Howard he was asked to teach some pee wee baseball and ended up hitting his kid with a ball. The kid started crying and wanted his mommy so that pissed him off. He said that he threw the ball again and tried to throw it slow but he ended up tossing the ball straight up in the air when his shoulder locked up.
Johnny said that his 28 year old son should technically be taking care of a 5 year old, not him. Howard said he knows all of that and he appreciates the call. Johnny said he's worried about him and that's why he was calling in. He told Howard that he'd be in the toy department at Target if he had a kid. Howard said ''No I won't.'' He said he's not going to be having any kids. He said that it's like Donald Trump and Marla Maples. Once she had her kid, Trump sent her off to L.A. and didn't see her again.
Howard had a bunch of those clips that he played. He said that whenever the Clinton's have something going on this Gennifer Flowers pops up.
Howard asked Artie if he made a speech at his grandmother's funeral. He said he did do a eulogy for her. Howard said that he's always asked to make speeches when something happens in his family but he's had to turn that down lately. He said Artie is good at getting up in front of crowds but he's not that good when he's in front of a crowd.
Howard said that his mother made the decision for him to make a speech at his niece's birthday. He said she told him that he was going to do it and he really didn't want to. He said that his sister and brother-in-law should have been doing it. Artie said that he gets the same from his family and they tell him that he's good at making speeches so he should be the one doing it.
Howard said that they always want him to make the speeches at these events. Artie said that they told him that his grandmother would have wanted him to make a speech but he said she never told him that.
Howard said he did his speech at his niece's birthday and then his mother told him he wasn't very well prepared and he could have done better. He wondered what the fuck she was talking about. He said that he really didn't prepare because he wanted to be spontaneous and just said a few nice words to her. He said that his mother telling him he could have done better really ate at him and it still bothers him now.
Howard said he tried to explain to his mother that he sucks at giving speeches but she didn't believe him. Now no one will ask him to do them again.
Bong Hit Eric called in and said that he saw Jim Cramer on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night and he was going nuts over the merger. Howard said that he's right to be pissed because they're dragging this out so long. That led to Howard playing a little piece of a guy talking about the merger on Air America. Howard said that this was kind of dry but he wanted to play a little bit of it. The guy in the clip was talking about terrestrial radio and how they're trying to put a stop to the merger by asking for favors from politicians.
Howard played that one and then played some audio of Jim Cramer on Jimmy Kimmel's show. Cramer was going nuts talking about how long they're dragging out this merger and how they've had four hearings about the merger already and they didn't even do that for the Exxon/Mobil merger. Jim said that he's naming names and outing all of these people who are taking money from terrestrial radio companies who don't want the merger going through.
Bong Hit Eric suggested that they all donate some money and try to buy off congress themselves. Howard said that he can start that after he takes his next bong hit. He let him go after that.
Howard asked Artie about the funeral and what that was like. Artie said that it was like hell and he's not sure why they have to do the whole wake thing and show the body. He said that it's so awkward. He said that it didn't even look like her laying there.
Howard said he went to his uncle Bob's funeral and saw him laying out there and it looked nothing like him. Artie said that they did a good job with his grandmother over at the funeral home they were at in Union, New Jersey. He said he did smell formaldehyde though. He said he had to do the whole wake and then the funeral thing so he it was a whole day thing.
Howard said that it's a big test of your love to put in those kinds of hours to go to a funeral. He said that it's not doing her any good now. Robin said that at least he liked his grandmother and didn't have to go to someone's funeral that he didn't want to go to.
Artie said that he was afraid that he was going to have people disappointed in what he said. He said he told some humorous stories but didn't use any of his new material that he did down at the Borgata or anything like that.
Artie said that his uncle wanted him to say something and told him that his grandmother would have wanted it that way. He said that the priest had to run the mass and they had to let him know what they were going to do. He said that he wasn't sure if he was going to say something. He said that the priest didn't know that he was going to be saying something so when he got up there they had to sing a song and he had no idea they were going to do it. He said he had to stand there, for what felt like an hour, until this woman stopped singing. He said it was very awkward.
Howard asked if Artie saw Dana there at the funeral. Artie said that she did show up for the wake and he saw her. He said that he didn't make out with her or anything. Howard said that would have been great to see him making out with her in front of Grandma Caprio.
Artie said that he does a huge sign of the cross when he goes to these things so he comes across as being really religious. Howard said that Artie just about took a bath in the holy water at Gary's dad's funeral. That's how religious he wanted to come across as.
Artie said that he knows a couple of the prayers that they do at church and when he knows them, he'll say them really loud. He said that some of them he has to mumble because he doesn't know all of the words. Artie said that he's gotten kind of separated from all of that as he's gotten older.
Howard said that there are a few key moments that he knows during Jewish ceremonies and he'll actually sing loud when he knows the words. Artie talked about some of the stuff that goes on in the Catholic church where you have to respond to the priest. He said that he got good at hearing what other people were saying and he kind of repeats that stuff. He said that sometimes he'll blurt it out and get looks from people.
Artie said that years ago, when he was about 21, he had nothing going on in his life. He said that he went to his grandmother's house to eat. She was praying to St. Joseph and he asked why she was doing that. She said that she was doing it because the whole family had a lot of carpenters in it. He asked her if she prays for him since he had nothing going on. She said that she prays to St. Jude for him. He didn't think much of it until he talked to his uncle about it and he told him that St. Jude is the saint for hopeless causes.
Robin wondered what Saint cards are like. Howard said that they're kind of like tarot cards. He said that he actually had a St. Anthony card and prayed to it and actually found something that he was looking for. He said he almost converted to be Catholic after that. He had to go to break after that.
Lisa told Howard that his arms look really good and had him flexing for her. Howard said it was actually pathetic. Lisa asked Artie to stand up and show off his arms. Howard said that he just got back from a funeral, he doesn't want to do that. Artie asked her to show him her ass if that's what they're going to do.
Lisa said that they have some other people who don't dress their age in that article. Howard showed the guys what he was wearing and said he doesn't look that bad. He had some cargo pants on and Lisa asked when he's going to stop wearing those. He said that he's going to wear them as long as he wants. He said that the woman who wrote that article is a smelly bitch.
Howard and Lisa were talking about plastic surgery and stuff and how Lisa Rinna has implants in her lips and that's how she's able to plump them up and down. They spent a few seconds on that and then Howard asked Lisa to get back to her report.
Lisa said that a dwarf bowling event may be in jeopardy this weekend for Beetlejuice. There's a law that might prohibit Beet from making an appearance. JD came in and said that the event was actually canceled. Lisa said that she has a story about how the NY Mets John Main suggested they write in Howard to run for President. Howard thanked her for that and moved on.
Howard said that Garver got an interview with Omarosa. Gary came in and said that she thinks she's god and went off on him about 35 seconds into the interview. Howard played the clip where Garver asked her who she is and what makes her famous. She explained who she was and she got all pissed off. Then the two of them went off on each other saying that the other's mother was a bitch.
Howard played the next interview which was with David Caradine. Howard said that he was the guy in that TV show ''Kung Fu.'' Howard said he used to have him on the show and he really liked him a lot. He said that they passed on his past couple of requests to come in but when they do that, they start to say that they were the ones who turned down the chance to come in.
In the interview Garver asked David if he's a fan of Howard's. David said that he's no longer interesting to him and he doesn't listen anymore. He said that he doesn't have SIRIUS radio and doesn't listen to radio at all.
Garver got an interview with Florence Henderson and she's another one who used to request to be on the show about 10 years ago. Gary said that they stopped asking for her about 20 years ago. Garver asked her what she thinks of Howard. She said that she likes him but he is naughty. She said that she has turned down some offers to be on the show because she doesn't need to talk about her genitalia. Robin asked if that was really her because she sounded like an old lady. Gary said it was her but she's got to be really old by now.
Garver got an interview with Jeff Conaway at the event. Garver asked him what he hates about himself. Jeff has some kind of weird speech thing going on so the guys pointed that out. Jeff said that he doesn't like the negative side of himself and how that affects his life. Garver asked him how he's changed the world. Jeff said that he's made people laugh. He was asked who the biggest A-hole is in Hollywood. Jeff said ''probably me.'' Garver asked Jeff if he's going to become a Scientologist like Tom Cruise. Jeff said that he's already doing that. He said that he talked to John Travolta about it and wanted to stay out of it at first but now he's taking Scientologist classes every day. Jeff told Gary that his questions were good when he was wrapping up with him.
Howard read off the list of people who were there at this event and it included those people they interviewed, Larry Birkhead and people like that.
Howard said that a story that slipped past them was that Pat O'Brien was back in rehab. That led to Artie saying that Pat looked very thin to him when he saw him up at SIRIUS a few months ago.
Howard played a clip of Garver interviewing Larry Birkhead. Larry was asked what makes him famous. He said that he was in a movie called ''Fool's Gold.'' Garver also asked who the biggest a-hole in Hollywood is. He said that Garver might be the biggest. He answered a couple of other questions.
Howard said that they got an interview with this guy Prince Von Anhal who was another one of Anna Nicole Smith's lovers. He said that he's still married to Zsa Zsa Gabor though. He was asked about what's going on with Anna Nicole's daughter and things like that. He said that he did have fun with Anna Nicole. He said that he doesn't use those words like penis and vagina when Garver asked him about doing that. The Prince said he uses the word ''love.''
Garver asked the Prince who the biggest A-hole in Hollywood was and he said that it might be him. He was asked about Howard Stern and if he's a fan. He said that he loves him. He claimed that he was on the show a couple of times and he loves him. Gary didn't even remember him being on the show.
Howard said that they had a few other interviews to play. He had one with Mimi Rogers. Garver asked her a couple of questions about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Then he asked her if she'd become a Scientologist if she could become as big of a star as him. She said ''who wouldn't?'' Howard talked about how big her boobs were in that movie ''The Masseuse'' that she was in. He said that he beat off to that movie a bunch of times. He's not sure how old she is now but back then she was hot. He said they were real boobs too.
Howard asked Robin if it ever pisses her off that women have to put implants in to get as big as her. She said she's never been proud of those things and they're too fuckin big. Gary said that a lot of women would love to have them like that though. Robin said that she's never wanted them that big and doesn't think like that at all.
Garver got an interview with Robert Davi and asked him what made him famous. He said that he was in 70 movies and asked Garver what he's done. He said that if they've never heard of him, then he's never heard of SIRIUS radio. He told Garver to google him. Robert said that he actually does enjoy watching Howard Stern on TV. He said that he would watch Howard Stern every morning when he was working on his show ''Profiler.'' Artie said that he thinks he knows who that guy is and he's been in a lot of stuff.
Garver got an interview with Jenna Jameson and asked them about the Scientology thing and both she and Tito Ortiz are going to go check it out to see what it has to offer. Jenna said that she's studied a lot of different religions and her father was a Scientologist. She said that she needs to go and check it out for herself to find out if it's for her. She said that she's going to go figure it out for everyone to see what it's all about. Howard said no offense but Jenna is a porn star and Tito is a fighter. He's not sure they're the ones to be telling everyone what religion to follow.
Howard said that Gary Garver got an interview with Wink Martindale. He said that Wink always had the bad game shows on TV. They talked about some of the shows he had like Tic Tac Dough and stuff like that. They were all shitty games according to Howard.
Howard told Artie that Beetlejuice was there yesterday and Sal told a story about how he would order food for Beet when they went out. Sal said he ordered Dragon Chicken for him but Beet said that he doesn't eat Dragon.
Howard played the Wink Martindale interview and Garver asked him if he had ever used the N-word. He said he did when he was growing up. There was a woman there telling him that he didn't over and over again. Wink said that he really did but he learned later in life that all people are equal. He said that he's not a fan of Howard Stern's but he did listen to Imus until he was taken off TV. Howard said that was fitting since Imus probably had some good N-word jokes.
Howard replayed the interview where the woman was telling Wink that he never used the N-word. He said that was pretty funny. He played a clip of this ''Boss nig*er'' movie preview he played yesterday and jokingly said that was Wink's favorite movie. Howard said he got the movie in his bag yesterday and didn't want to watch it. He said that Sal threw it in there for him but he had no desire to see it. Robin wanted to see what it was all about so Howard said that he'd give it to her.
Howard took a call from John Boy who asked about the story that Howard brought up about a big opportunity that he had turned down. He wanted to take some stabs at guessing what it was. Howard said that he wouldn't tell him what it was anyway. John Boy thought it might be another movie but Howard said it was much bigger than that. He said he didn't want to get into all of that. He joked that it was to run the whole internet. He had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that Bill Clinton was the governor of Arkansas when she had these conversations. Gennifer said that she and Bill had some various conversations about a bunch of things during those calls. She said that he was trying to keep all of this stuff quiet at the time so that's what a lot of it was about.
Howard said that when Bill Clinton was in this whole legal battle with Paula Jones, he admitted to having sex with Gennifer just once. She said that's so ridiculous and said that it was more than that. She said that he was just trying to downplay it at the time.
Howard said that he's read quite a bit about Bill and how he seemed to like oral sex over regular sex. Gennifer said that he was convinced that it wasn't really ''real sex'' when he'd get oral. She said that oral sex is a nice thing but when she wants a man she wants all parts of a man. She said that she told him not to give her that bull when she was with him.
Howard said that he read that Clinton came in her mouth at one time and she'd never had a load in her mouth before. She said that she was saving that for her husband but Bill blew that idea. She said she got over that but he wasn't supposed to do that to her. She said that she had asked him not to do that but he went ahead and did it anyway.
Howard read some other quotes from her and she said that he ate pussy like a champ in a Penthouse article. She said that he really did. She said he was a very sensual man and he was very good at that. She said that he wasn't very big in the pants. She said that he was very small actually. Howard asked her if his penis looked like a tiny button to her. She said it wasn't that bad. She said that it was probably 3 inches when he was flaccid. She said that it might be 5 or 6 inches when he was hard. Howard said that's pretty average so he's not that small. Gennifer said that she's had bigger.
Howard said that Gennifer never had an orgasm with the President and he wondered if maybe she just wasn't that turned on by him. She said that she was attracted to him and she thinks that it was her upbringing that stopped her from having an orgasm. She said that she had to fake it with him. Howard said that he doesn't want a woman to fake an orgasm with him. He wants to know that it's real.
Howard asked Gennifer if she's backing Hillary Clinton in this Presidential race. She said she's not. She said that she can't support her and she'd have to support Barack. Howard asked her if Bill ever told her that she was a lesbian. She said that he never used that word but she claims that he said that Hillary may have licked more pussy than he ever had.
Howard told Gennifer that he's going to back Hillary in this run for President. He thinks that she's more qualified for the position. He and Gennifer spent a short time going over that subject.
Howard asked Gennifer why she taped Clinton back in those days. She said that things were kind of scary for her back then and she thought that her life could be in danger if he ran for President. She only taped a few conversations before she stopped doing that.
Howard took some phone calls for Gennifer. One guy asked her about the identifying mark on Clinton's penis. She said that she didn't remember seeing anything like that. She said that Paula Jones was the one who made that statement.
Captain Janks called in and asked Gennifer if Bill Clinton used a condom when he fucked her. that's what Stuttering John asked her many years ago. She said that he didn't and she got pregnant because of that. She had an abortion after getting pregnant.
Howard let a few more callers ask Gennifer questions. One guy asked if the Republican party ever asked her to help them bury the democratic party. She said she never did that at all.
Howard found out that Gennifer is 58 years old and she claims that she looks even better now than she did years ago. She said that she thinks she looks as good as she did in her 30s. Howard checked out some of her pictures and said that her lips were getting pretty big and she might not want to let them get much bigger. She said that she's done with that at this point.
Howard asked Gennifer if she still lets her bush get all bushy. She said that she still has that full bush but she keeps it trimmed. She doesn't shave it all off though. Howard told Gennifer that she was definitely the best piece of ass that Clinton ever got. He said that Paula Jones looked like Ringo Starr with tits.
Another caller asked if it was true that the secret service let in more women for Hillary at the governor's mansion than they did for Bill. Gennifer wasn't sure about that. Howard said that he's pretty sure that if Hillary were a lesbian, someone would have come out and spoken out about it by now.
Howard let a couple more callers ask Gennifer some questions before he wrapped up with her. He gave her a couple more plugs for her web sites. He asked her if she spit or swallowed Bill's load before ending the interview. She said that she spit it out. She said that she was pretty grossed out that day. Howard asked her if she enjoys oral sex now. She said that she actually enjoys swallowing now and doesn't have a problem with that.
Benjy asked Gennifer about some rumors that were going on back then about Chelsea possibly being someone else's daughter. She said that Hillary did get around from what she heard but she's not sure if that was the case or not. Benjy also said that he heard that Bill was wasn't able to get anyone pregnant and was possibly impotent. He asked if she really got pregnant from him. She said it was definitely him. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later.
Howard said that a caller had a question about her smoking weed with Clinton. He didn't get to it so Gary tried to get her back on the phone. He said it was going right to voice mail so he wasn't able to get her. Howard went to break after that.
JD came in and said that Eric e-mailed him last night to tell him to record it because he was going to make a statement last night. He said that Jimmy Kimmel was telling him that he's been logging in and checking it out and he may have some kind of ''midget addiction.''
Howard said that he's not going to stop the tape but there will be some pauses in the clip because Eric takes so long to answer. In the first clip Eric was asked what he would change about Howard if he could change him. Eric said that he would change the way he treats him on the air. His co-hosts told him that it wouldn't be any fun if Howard did that. Eric didn't seem to like that answer. He went on to say that the way Howard has been acting lately is way over the line. He said that it's one thing to attack him but when he goes after Kendra it's another. He said that he should have thought about it more before he did that.
Howard cut it off and said it's so boring but Robin said she wanted to hear more. Howard played more of Eric talking about meeting Kendra for the first time and what that was like. He said that he's not sure where he stands in her life because he hasn't heard anything from her since Monday. He said that it sucks. He said that Howard and his staff are the ones who tore that relationship up. Howard said that's bullshit. He said that Eric is the one who scammed them about breaking up with her. Howard said that she's the one who isn't calling Eric and that's probably because it was a scam of a relationship.
Eric claims that the relationship wasn't a scam. He said that it wasn't set up by Johnny or his two co-hosts. He said that he knows nothing about it being set up. Howard said that just means that Eric is just the only one who wasn't let in on the scam. Robin wanted to get a hold of Kendra and ask her what's going on now. Howard said he's done with all of that and doesn't want to do that.
Howard asked Artie about the whole Dana thing and he said that he's just having a bad week and there really wasn't anything to report on from the funeral.
Howard wondered what he's going to be wearing when he dies. He said that Ralph might have to be in charge of that. Howard said that Gary would probably be wearing that SIRIUS jacket he wears every day. Gary said that his brother wasn't buried in a suit so he's not sure what he'd be wearing. Gary said that they had to bring a suit and all of that for his father when they buried him. He said that they even put shoes on him.
Artie didn't know if his grandma was wearing shoes. They talked about what they might want to do when they die. Howard said that his feet are really nice and he might want them to be on display. Robin told him that he should just have that part of the casket open at his funeral. Howard said that he would do that.
Howard said that he was reading about how Ryan Seacrest is going to be syndicated soon and he's going to be doing local commercials for each market. They claim that he's an innovator because of that but Howard said that he's been doing that for 20 years.
Howard took a call from a funeral director who said that they dress people in their underwear as well as the suit or whatever they're going to wear. Howard asked why they have to wear underpants. The guy said that everyone wears underwear with a suit. Howard asked if they've ever had special requests for women to be dressed in sexy outfits. The guy said that he's never had that request.
Gary said that he's been to a couple of wakes for people as young as 15 and those are the worst. Everyone is like a zombie at a funeral for someone that young.
Dominic Barbara called in to talk about the funeral thing but his phone started to cut out in the middle of the call so Howard had to bail on him. The guys spent a few more minutes talking about the way they do wakes and funerals and how creepy that can be.
Howard said he could never have his kids on display if they died. He said that he can't even look at their baby pictures without bursting out in tears. He said that he can't believe that they're not those little girls anymore. He said that it's like a loss for those little kids even though he loves them the way they are now. He said he just doesn't understand the whole wake thing and keeping someone on display for days at a time.
Howard said that he'd never think to go up to a girl that hot and ask her to be in porn. He said that her web site is pretty cool. He asked her about her career and found out she's been in 70 movies so far. He said that he read about her childhood and how fucked up that was.
Howard said that she was such a bad kid that her mother drugged her one time and brought her to an all girls boarding school. She woke up there at the school. Randi said that she was 14 and doing crystal meth. She said that she was a real mess. She's got a phobia of those drugs now though. She said that she started going out with girls when she was at that school.
Randi said that she hooked up with her roommate and they got caught so she got into a lot of trouble. She said that they had their own rooms and her roommate ended up telling another girl what was going on and the word spread so they got caught.
Randi said that she doesn't have fake boobs yet. They're 34-B cups and asked if they wanted to see. Artie said he had to think for about a second before he said he did. Randi is only 22 and Howard said that's what 22 year old boobs look like. He said that she sure doesn't have baloney tits. She said that she hopes to get implants soon because she's never happy with what she has. Howard told her not to get implants, they're great the way they are.
Artie asked to see her ass too so Howard told her to just lose the whole dress. She had a couple of tattoos on her and she said that she got them when she was on drugs. She said that she covered some of them up with bigger tattoos so Howard asked her why she's doing that. She said that she really regrets the two that are on her belly.
Howard told Randi that her body is great and she must eat healthy. She said that she eats bad food, smokes and drinks a lot too.
Randi said that she has to think about really weird stuff to get herself off. She said that sometimes she thinks about dead people or really obese people when she's masturbating. She said that she also rolls up a towel and puts it under her like a person. Howard and Artie said that she's like Eric the Midget in that way. He likes to rub on his pillow to get off.
Artie found out that Randi didn't think that he was fat enough to think about in her fantasies. She had him stand up so she could see his body but it wasn't fat enough for her. She said that she wants them really obese. She told him that he'd need like 75 more pounds to be in those fantasies.
Randi talked about how she thinks about fucking a dead guy who has a boner. She said that's the kind of dead guy she thinks about. Howard told her that he's going to put it in his will that she can fuck him when he dies.
Howard said that he'd bet that a lot of guys wanted to fuck her in high school. She said that she was a really bad girl back then. She said that she never had any teachers coming on to her but she did have a soccer coach one time. She was 17 at the time and hooked up with him at a party. She didn't remember all of the details though. Howard said he remembers every detail of every sexual encounter he ever had. She said that she has bad long term memory.
Howard said he read that she had sex with a pilot in a helicopter one time. She said she did that and gave him head while he was flying. She said that she did a pilot of an airplane one time too.
Randi's friend was there so Howard asked her to come in. She came in and Howard asked her when she's going to get into porn. She just giggled. Howard noticed that they had matching tattoos on their arms. She's only 21. Howard asked her if she's into fat dead guys too. She told him she's not into that. Randi and this woman had sex yesterday but Randi didn't remember what they did. They were out in San Francisco when they did that. The friend had to tell her what they did since she didn't remember.
Randi and her friend said that they're going to become life partners if they're not married by the time they're 30. Howard asked them what they do when they get bored. They said they go out and party. Howard said that he never gets that bored that he has to do stuff like that. Randi said that they don't have regular jobs so they get bored and go out and party. Randi said that she's 22 years old and people tell her that she has a drinking problem. She doesn't think that she does because she doesn't have to drink every night. Gary said that she can do 16 shots of vodka before she feels drunk. Howard said that is a problem then.
Howard read that Randi wants to be a nurse so he asked her about that and then said he wanted to ask her some nursing questions while she's in the tickle chair. She said that she's really ticklish. Howard had her get in the chair and said that he was going to ask her some question and if she got them wrong, one of the guys is going to tickle her. Gary and Artie were the ticklers.
The guys strapped Randi in the tickle chair and Artie told Howard that the tattoos are really hot when you're up close to them. He said that if he was banging her they'd be really hot. Gary said that her arms are really skinny too and she can get out of the straps pretty easy. Will said that they'll just hold her down.
Howard asked Randi ''What pulse sight is near the groin?'' Randi laughed and didn't know so the guys tickled her. Artie went in there and tickled her. She was laughing and said that she was breaking the chair apart. Howard told her that next time the tickling is going to be worse.
Howard asked Randi what an Apgar test is. She knew it was a test for newborn babies. She also knew how many bones there are in the human body. Artie said that he could make it 207... OH! Howard asked her what the biggest part of the human brain is. She knew the answer for that too. There wasn't any tickling going on but she was still giggling. Howard gave her some plugs for her web sites AllRandiWright.com and HaveSexToday.com (and FlingToday.com which wasn't mentioned)
Howard asked Randi what Cilia was. She said that it was something in the lungs but Howard told her it was wrong and had the guys tickle her some more. Isaac from Howard TV ticked Artie too. Artie then threw Randi a $20 bill for the tickling. Howard asked her if she had ever been paid to have sex. She said she had and she got $10,000 for that. She said that the guy wasn't gross either, he was a good looking guy. She said that she didn't want to say what he did for a living. She just said he was a famous businessman.
Artie said that he could have 15 grand there by 2 o'clock today. She said that she would do him for that kind of money. She said that they're so funny. Howard said that the funny thing is that they're not joking. Artie said that the jokes stopped about 10 minutes ago.
Howard asked Randi where she met this businessman. She didn't get into details. She said that he paid her in cash, all $100 bills, before she had sex with him.
Artie said that this chick is like a 10 and he loves that he could get that kind of money and fuck her that easily. Howard asked her if she could convince him that she was into him. She said ''Oh yeah...'' Howard asked her some questions about what she can do before they have sex. She said that sometimes they'll just talk and do stuff like that. If she's in a rush she'll just tell the guy to fuck her so she can get out of there.
She said that she fell for one guy and moved to New York for him but he ended up dumping her. Howard said that he thinks that Artie is serious about giving her that money. She said that kind of money is just good for the fuck and it's not for the whole night or day or anything like that.
Howard asked Randi who the grossest guy is that she's done. She said that she did a 50 year old one time and that was the oldest she ever did. Howard told her that's gross. Artie asked her how old she thinks Howard looks. She said it was about 42. Howard told her that he's only 40. He's actually 54.
Howard gave Randi some more plugs for her web sites and told her that she and her friend make a nice couple. Howard asked Randi about doing anal sex. She said that she's not into that and the most she's ever had up there was a finger. Artie asked if he could put anything in there if he gave her 30 grand. She didn't sound interested.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he used to call Randi on a Playboy show she did. She said that she used to do Night Calls and a show called Totally Busted. She said that they would do some dirty talking during those shows to get guys off.
Howard asked Randi how many times a day she poops. She said it's like 2 times a day and they're like rabbit pellets so they're really cute. Howard told her that's gross. She said that her asshole is really small and that's why it comes out like that.
Artie asked her how much it would cost him to have her piss on him while he eats a sandwich. She just laughed and told them that they were funny. Howard said that they might have to play the Mexican Delivery game with Randi next time she comes in. They had a delay with that show on Howard TV and it will be up tomorrow night.
Howard asked what Randi's friend's name was and it was Nattie. He gave them some more plugs and then went to break.
Howard talked about how hurt he was when he heard about John Lennon's death. He said that no one else's death affected him the way that one did. He said that he'd love to be able to bring John back just so he could talk to him. He said that he'd like to bring his grandfather back too. He said that if he had to choose one of the two he'd have to pick his grandfather, but Lennon is a close second.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he had to give some tough love to Artie. He said that they kind of skimmed over Artie saying he wasn't sure if he was going to last much longer. He said that if there was really something going on his mother and sister would tell Howard to do something about it. He told Artie that if he's going to do something to just do it or stop talking about it.
Howard moved on to Mike Walker and had him get into his Gossip Game pretty quick. Here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
The Howard TV guys showed Artie what happened that day and he got a laugh out of the size of that chick's ass who was on the floor shaking it for them while they threw money. They made it rain money in there that day and Howard said they had a lot of fun with that.
Artie said that JD was speechless telling him about that day. He was really into that chick who was on the floor shaking her ass. Howard asked him if he had beaten off to her yet. JD said he hadn't but he usually just goes home and goes to sleep. He said that he doesn't have a lot of time to do that. He said he doesn't beat off every day like some of the guys do.
Gary said that he heard that JD had been going out to strip clubs a lot lately. JD said that he has been going to Headquarters quite a bit and he's going to be going to Rick's Cabaret soon. Howard told JD about how he came one time when he was at Scores. He said that Beth was getting a lap dance and he came even though he wasn't touching himself.
Artie said that he had Dana at Scores one time and he had her spank a chick and after she did that he had to get her out of there to fuck her because he was so turned on.
Howard asked JD about the big asses he likes and if he's on this Bang Brothers web site. He said that he knows about it but doesn't have a membership or anything. JD said that he's been trying to find that chick Ashley on Myspace. Ashley is the one who was on the floor the day that Flo Rida was in. Gary asked if he should try to book her for the show. Howard and Robin told him not to bother. Robin told JD that he couldn't handle that girl. JD said he could sure try.
Howard said that he kind of spoke to Adam Carolla about the interview and smoothed things over with him. He said that he's fine with Adam and doesn't have a problem with him. It was John he had the problem with. He said that Adam was in the middle of practicing for the Dancing with the Stars thing. He said that he was telling Adam to wear something that shows off his ass. He said that if he did that show he'd dress in something really gay.
Steve asked if John had contacted Howard. Howard said he didn't call. Howard said that he told Beth last night what was going there because she said that Suzanna, John's wife, had tried calling her. Howard said that he knows why she's calling and explained it to her. Beth said that's probably not why she was calling her. Howard said he told Suzanna to stop calling Beth during that rant. He said that Beth and Suzanna are pretty close too and he feels bad for her.
Howard said that Beth doesn't listen to him anyway so she'll probably keep talking to her. He said that she'll just infuriate him. He said that he likes his psychiatrist because he listens to him and doesn't argue with him. He said that guy isn't an asshole and he's on his side. He said that he doesn't always take his side though.
Howard said he was talking to his shrink about something and he's the only guy he can talk to about that stuff because he doesn't trust anyone else. He said he can't tell his mother or even Beth about certain things, only the shrink.
Steve said that they have another story about how Johnny Fratto had acknowledged that Eric the Midget and Kendra was never a real relationship. He said that Johnny finally admitted that it was Patrick who got the whole thing started. Johnny is blaming Patrick but Patrick is saying that Johnny was behind it as well. They'll have more on that today on Howard 100 News.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview after that. Jon said that they'll be talking about Randi Wright, Gennifer Flowers, Johnny Fratto's call, Gary Garver interviews, Eric the Midget and much, much more.
Mutt from Superfan Roundtable called in with his show preview. He missed the show last week so he had Elephant Boy sitting in for him. He said he's not sure if he'll have him do that again though. He said that they'll be talking about Stuttering John, Eric the Midget and more tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Howard said he had another one that someone sent in about Robin. He said there were so many of them that he was way behind on them. He said he should give them to Fred to play. He played a new one from Richard that was a little too graphic for him. He cut it off and said that was too much.
Artie said that he reached out last night to Jim Florentine to be part of the tour for the troops. He said he should have asked Robin first because of the danger angle. Robin said that Jim can do whatever he wants and she's fine with that. Artie said that Jim is his top choice for doing shows like that. He asked Robin if she wanted to come too. She just laughed.
Howard had Robin get into her news after that. She started off with a story about men in Hollywood with the best chests. She said that number 1 was Matthew McConaughey. She ran down a list of some other guys on the list. That led to Howard talking about the man boob contest they have coming up. They're still looking for contestants for that contest.
Robin brought up Valerie Bertinelli since she's out pushing her book. Howard mentioned that she's going to be on the show soon and they'll be talking to her about all of that stuff. Robin read a story about a woman who gave birth after she was hanged in New Guinea for using black magic to kill her neighbor.
Robin read a story about a woman who had a miscarriage while going to the bathroom on a train and the baby ended up on the train tracks after she flushed it. That was over in India.
Robin read a story about a 33 year old woman who groped a Santa Claus at a mall. She did that while sitting on his lap. Howard wondered what kind of guy would complain about something like that.
Robin read through a few more stories and had one about Prince and how he may have to have hip replacement surgery because of all of the dancing he does on stage. She said that Michael Jackson had to take out a loan to try and save his Neverland Ranch before it's taken away from him. She had a story about Lindsay Lohan and how frivolous she's been with her spending. That led to the guys talking about her recent photo shoot where she was dressed up like Marilyn Monroe. Howard said that they're not that good and he's not sure what they're trying to do with those pictures.
Robin brought up the Terminator show on FOX and how she's become a big fan even though she wasn't in the beginning. She used that as a segue into a story about how the government is using robots and they do pose a threat to humanity, kind of like they do in that show. That led to the guys talking about other types of robots and how some people would be just as happy with a robot dog as they would with a real one.
Robin asked Howard if he thinks that if people get engaged they should owe each other something. Howard said that it's a time when a couple is preparing for marriage and they shouldn't have to owe anyone anything if they break up.
Robin read a story about the XM/SIRIUS merger and how 200 other mergers have been passed in the time since they first announced this one. The government is holding it up for far too long. Howard said that it's really unfair and some of the stuff that this government is up to is ridiculous. He said that this Roger Clemens thing is out of hand and they're dragging that out too long too. He went off on the government for wasting their time on something so stupid. He said that the guy hits a ball with a stick, it's not that important.
Robin read that Mel Karmazin must be thinking about Howard because he's been talking about how he would be interested in extending his contract ''for less money.'' Howard was interested until he heard that. He said that Mel is always trying to talk him into taking less money.
Robin read some stories about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. that got Howard doing his Ted Kennedy impression for a few minutes. He was goofing around with the accent and saying the name Barack in a bunch of different ways that the Ted might say it.
Robin talked about William F. Buckley's death and had Howard play some clips about that. She had some news about John McCain and Barack Obama going back and forth about Al Qaeda. She had some clips of that and then Artie talked about how he's been thinking about that since he's going over to entertain the troops. Howard said that Artie doesn't want to go out like that. Artie said he would go out as a hero though. He said that it might be kind of cool. He said that it might be him, Jim and Nick DiPaolo going out by getting beheaded. He laughed when he said it. He said that he pictures himself escaping though. Howard said that they should do a remake of Goldfinger with Artie playing James Bond.
Robin read one story about a guy who had died, Buddy Miles, and that brought out Howard's Grandma Caprio impression again. He did the impression for a few minutes and goofed on Artie a little bit with that. Artie was chuckling while Howard was doing that. Then he started to do his Beth O impression and said that she's got babies on the brain after going to the Borgata with him.
After playing some clips from American Idol Robin ended her news and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
The guys got distracted by some hot chick who walked by the studio. No one was sure who it was. Gary got back to his Randi Wright discussion and talked about how she's basically an escort and it was interesting to hear her admitting to that. They thought she was good on the show and they'll bring her back for that Mexican Delivery Guy game that they played earlier in the week.
Gary said that the woman who walked by was Miss Maxim Magazine according to what the guys found out.
Jon talked about what Randi was saying about Artie not being fat enough to masturbate to. Gary said that he's not sure about what she was going for there. That led into the guys playing a clip of Randi talking about the kind of things she likes to get off to.
Gary wondered what kind of guys she's jerking off to if she's not into guys who weigh 300 pounds. Gary wondered if they talked to her about not sleeping with black guys. Jon said they did touch on that quickly. They talked about that for a short time. they also talked about the Tickle chair and how that's kind of falling apart these days. Gary said that they really need to fix it up. They actually built it for the studio, it wasn't something they had built for them.
Gary said that they once made Jenny McCarthy pee herself in that chair. Benjy said that they used to play with dildos on a stick when the girls were in that chair. Gary said that they did do that and they'd have a bunch of guys poking at the girls with them. Benjy tried to shove one up a girl's ass one time. The girl jumped when he did that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's a psychology major and he figures that Randi was probably into that stuff because of one traumatic event in her life. He said that maybe she saw her mother with a fat guy and maybe he died or something. Gary tried to cut the guy off because he sounded a little annoyed or bored with the call.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked about how they find these people for the show. Gary said that Will interviews people before they do the show and he has all kinds of weird questions that they ask these women before they come in. Will said that he sends out this questionnaire to people like her and they ask if they've slept with anyone famous and if they're willing to talk about it. Some of them send back weird stuff and that's who they book for the show.
Will said she had some other stories that she didn't talk about today. Gary said that back in the office there they have a big open space and they can all hear each other's business. He said that they can hear Will asking these girls some insane questions of these people they're interviewing for the show.
The caller said that Randi was great on the show and the list must be endless for the crazies that come in. He said that within 6 months they'll probably have the Mexican Delivery game on FOX TV within the next 6 months.
Jon brought up Randi's friend Natalie and talked to Will about how hot she was. Will said she was smokin hot and she's just a friend of Randi's. Gary said that she's so close to the business that someone will probably ask her to do porn and it'll be hard to say no to that. He figured that she'd get into the business eventually.
JD was saying that he found it odd that Randi talked about how she gets bored because she has nothing to do, yet she has an assistant. Gary said that maybe she's bored and lazy too.
That all led to the guys asking JD about trying to find that Ashley chick that he said he was looking for. They asked him what he wants to do if he finds her on Myspace. JD said he wants to get whatever he can off of her. The guys also asked JD about going to the strip clubs a lot lately. Teddy said that he's been going every night and he's jealous of him for that. JD said that he doesn't do it that much. He said that he's only done it once or twice.
Gary asked JD what kind of money he has and how he can go there so often. JD talked about his friend Steve overt at Headquarters and how he helps him out with that stuff.
Will thanked Lanie over at Penthouse because she sent over a copy of the magazine that Gennifer was in and it helped out with the interview today. Gary said that he would have had her pegged at 52 or so and had no idea she was 58 years old.
Jon said that Steve Langford was in to talk about Gennifer. Steve said he interviewed her back when he was working on Hard Copy and some of the stuff she was saying today was exactly what she was saying back then about Hillary Clinton. Steve said that she seemed to be very reliable when she was talking to him back then. He said that's the way she came off back then and that's the way she was today. Gary agreed with him after hearing her today.
Jon took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing a David Gilmore impression. He was doing an impression of Artie too but Jon bailed on the call a short time into it.
Steve got back to his discussion about Gennifer and said that he had a piece of tape back then where they could hear Bill talking about the shows coming after her to get interviews about her being with him. The guys talked about the tapes that Gennifer is selling and they weren't sure if they were the actual tapes or copies that she was selling to people.
Steve said that 10 years ago she told him that she had a break in at her apartment but she had already gotten the tapes out of her apartment at the time. They spent a short time talking about all of that stuff. Steve also talked about the Monica Lewinsky story that broke back then and how crazy things were when he was working on Hard Copy. Will told him he's creepy when he talks about that stuff.
Jon took a call from a guy who was telling some goofy jokes that weren't going over too well. Gary ended up goofing on him. Jon said that Will was looking at Steve Langford like he was creeped out by him. Will said that he really is creepy. Steve was talking about the way he does his job and how much he loves it.
The guys wondered if Steve watches porn but Steve said that he has no time for that. He's got too much going on and has no time for that. He said that he only gets to watch Hannah Montana on TV. Jon took some more phone calls and then went to break.
Jon asked Teddy what he thinks about Artie always talking about dying. Teddy said that he's concerned for him but they're used to hearing it because he's always saying stuff like that. Doug Goodstein was in and said that Artie has a lot of issues and you don't say stuff like that if you don't have something going on in your life. He said that it's really sad. He said that he's got a great life but he's haunted by these demons that drive him nuts.
Teddy said that he thinks that Artie needs a nice long vacation. Doug thinks that his new house down at the Jersey Shore should be good for him. He said that might work until something goes wrong with the house. Doug said that the house could turn into a big headache because it's one of those never ending things that you have to spend money and time on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he heard Howard saying something about ''when Beth has a kid'' like something might be going on. Jon said that he didn't catch that and he's not sure if anything is going on there. Jon said that Howard has made his position very clear about that. Doug said that it was kind of disturbing when Johnny Fratto was talking about his son as a ''little fucker.'' He said you just don't do that on radio where millions of people can hear it.
Doug said that he's not sure what to think about Howard having a kid. He said that he thinks that they'll eventually have one and probably by the summer of 2009. He said that they'll have an Ostrostky-Stern child by then.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Howard has become so whipped lately. He said that between the marriage and the kid thing, he's whipped. He said they know damn well that Beth is going to have a baby. He said that Artie would make a bad parent but he wants to have a kid some day. The guy went off on Artie complaining about all of the stuff he complains about. He told Artie he should just off himself already.
A caller told the guys that he loves Steve Langford on the show because he's so professional with what he does. Jon said that he really is a good reporter and he brings a lot to the Howard 100 News.
Jon went to another caller who said that she feels that Artie is going to feel worse after he gets his house. She said that even after he has everything he's still going to have that pain and it won't go away. JD was laughing at her saying ''um'' over and over again.
Another caller went off on Doug Goodstein about not getting a certain show up on Howard TV and keeping it there. He said that he was pissed about that. Doug told the guy that his issue is with the local cable operator, not with him. He said that they have the show up in perpetuity and he'll help him out if he leaves him his number.
Doug said that the whole Howard TV thing is very complicated and all of these cable companies have to keep up with the shows or it appears that they've forgotten something.
A caller asked about the Stuttering John thing that happened yesterday. He said he heard John on Bubba's show yesterday and he wondered why Howard didn't bring that up. Jon thought that Howard just didn't have time to get to it today.
Syrus called in and said that he's not doing too good after hearing Randi talking about wanting to sleep with a hot dead guy before she'd sleep with a black man. He said that just doesn't make sense to him. The guys talked about how a lot of porn stars are like that and they freak out if you ask them if they'd sleep with a black guy. JD said that there's more black guy banging white girl porn out there than ever.
Syrus said that he always thought that Steve Langford should go out on the road with the Killers of Comedy because the guy is funny. Jon and Doug said that he'll probably be booked for next week after Bob Levy hears that suggestion.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard will have another kid and it will keep him working forever. He figures that he'll never want to go home so he won't have to raise that kid. JD said that he thinks that Howard won't stay on the air all that much longer. He said that he might be good for a couple more years after this contract. Doug thinks that he'll continue in a lesser capacity after this contract.
Ralph called in and said that he wanted to plug something. He said that he heard that tonight's Lost is going to be really good. He said he's become friends with Damon Lindeloff who is one of the producers of the show. He said that he met him at Sam Simon's house and he started e-mailing him and now he's become friends with him through e-mail. He said that Damon is a big fan of the Stern show and he knows about Artie and stuff like that. He said it's pretty cool when you find out people like that are fans of the show.
Jon asked about that chick Randi and if she was really hot. He doesn't know what to believe these days. The guys said she was okay. Doug said that he didn't buy that she was only 22. He said that he thinks that Ralph would be fine with her though. He said that Ralph would probably like her friend even more.
Jon asked Ralph for his thoughts on Howard's baby situation. Ralph said that we'll have to wait to see what happens but he knows that Howard doesn't want it to happen. Jon had to wrap up the show a short time later.
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Howard started off the show talking about how he was going to have his nose done but he pussied out and this was the day before the day he was going to have it done. Robin said that he could have had it over with by now if he had just gone in and done it. Howard said he was going to end the show at 10 and get out of there by 10:15. Robin figured he would have been in a bad mood because he can't eat for 24 hours before the operation.
Howard said that he's not sure why he can't eat before then. Robin said that's because they're afraid that he could aspirate, or vomit, during the operation.
Howard talked to David about interviewing Billy Joel. He said that the guy is kind of weird. He had him on his show back when he was at NBC and he was too cool for the room back then. Robin said that now he has a problem with not being recognized. David told Howard that Billy would probably have nothing but good things to say about him.
Howard said that David has changed since the last time he was in there. He was kissing Billy Joel's ass today. He told him that he likes the ''new you'' but told him to stay back in that corner of the studio.
Howard said that he doesn't dislike Billy Joel but he's not sure if he knows how to act with this new stardom he has. He said that his new song, ''We Didn't Start The Fire,'' is kind of like the ramblings of a mental patient. He said he was watching MTV and some kids were trying to dance to that song and it just wasn't working.
Howard said that he thinks he knows what David's article is going to be like. He's probably going to write what it was like getting up early to see him do his thing and he'll talk about going back and forth with him on the air.
Howard said that he hasn't done anything stupid in front of David yet which is a good thing. He and David talked about what they were going to do about the interview and how David was going to be following him around.
David told Howard what he did with Billy Joel when he did that interview. Howard asked if Christie Brinkley ever took any clothes off. He said that she didn't. He spent a couple more minutes talking to him about that.
Howard said it was weird sitting there with David because he was writing stuff down while they talked. He was afraid of what he might be writing down. He said he wouldn't want his job. Then he said it would be kind of cool to hang out with Billy Joel but he's not sure if he'd want to write about it.
Howard told David what he does most days. He said he wakes up, comes to work after making breakfast and blow drying his hair for about 25 minutes. Then he gets in his limo and comes to work. He said that for the next couple of weeks he's going to be on vacation too. David said that they could do something on the day he comes back to work.
Howard told David about what his day consists of. He explained what he did yesterday. He filled David in on that and David said that it's not so much what he's doing, it's just that Howard is doing it that matters. He said that he's not sure what to have David do while he naps during the day. David said that he has no problem finding something else to do. He talked about some of the stuff he does at home alone and asked David if he wants to watch him masturbate at home. He said that's what puts him to sleep at home. He said that he could use that to knock himself out for his nose operation.
Howard talked about Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley a little more. He said that Billy never would have gotten a girl like that if he wasn't a rock star. He said that he helped her career out a lot when she hooked up with him. Howard said that if he was single he'd only date models and other celebrities. He said that he'd probably be with someone like Michelle Marsh from the local news. He said that she's not a super model but she's hot.
Stuttering John said that he almost got dragged out of there about 4 times. He told Howard that they had some problems there getting press credentials. That led to Howard going off on Mark Chernoff, the Program Director, because he was supposed to get them set up. Gary had something to do with it too. Howard went off on Chernoff for a few minutes.
John told Howard that he eventually got in but then a guard started to drag him out because he didn't have a pass on him. He said that he must have looked like he didn't belong there even though a couple of the other guys didn't have passes either.
Howard talked about how much of a loser John is because he seems to have a black cloud following him around. He said that he's always getting pulled over and pulled out of events that he's sent to. John said that he's the best known intern out there. Howard gave him an intro as if her was on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson being interviewed as the Best Known Intern.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to John about the press conference and said he had to take a break before he got to the audio clips.
John told Howard he got a note from Mark Chernoff right before he was about to ask questions. He showed that to him and Howard got pissed when he read that Mark wanted him to say that he was from the Howard Stern Show and not from K-Rock. Howard said that he should tell Mark that Howard Stern IS K-Rock and he's to say that he's from K-Rock. He said he's going to hang that note up there so he can show what they really think of him there at the station.
Howard did an impression of Mark telling John what to say and goofed on him for a short time. He said that Mark wouldn't have the money to pay Pete Fornatel to work there if he didn't have Howard Stern there to make money for the station. He said that they don't seem to understand that there. They went to break a short time later.
Howard played the audio of John asking Paul his questions and getting some laughs from the crowd. He asked Paul how many women he's had in the bed at the same time. Paul didn't answer but John got some laughs.
Howard asked John if he asked Paul if his wife was Jewish. John said he was afraid to ask that one. John said he needed some time to build up for the next one. He asked Paul if he's ever gotten any nasty letters from Pete Best. He said he didn't. Then John asked him if he would ever be a Traveling Wilbury. Paul said he wouldn't and that was the end of the press conference so that's all John could get out.
John was saying that he thinks that the band probably pulled a few trains in their day. Howard asked if John is the caboose in that train in his band. He figured that Ringo was the caboose in The Beatles. He goofed on him a little bit about that.
Howard told John he did a good job and came through for them. He said that he can be proud to be from this show. He said he had to take a break but ended up talking to David a little more about what he saw at the press conference.
John said that he's going to be playing a benefit concert for a friend who injured himself doing some pole vaulting. He said that he's trying to get some other people to do the show like Leslie West. He said that the money is all going to a spinal cord charity.
Howard asked David to read back to him some of the stuff he had written today. David didn't seem to want to do that.
Howard said that he saw a new Bugs Bunny cartoon recently and it wasn't that good with the new voice of Bugs. He figured that was Mel Blank Jr. doing the voice and he just isn't cutting it.
Howard said he had to play ''As The Barbecue Turns'' before they got to the other stuff they had to get to. He and Robin ended up talking about some other stuff before they got to that.
Howard got to the ''As The Barbecue Turns'' thing a short time later. He said they're doing this every week. In the clip they have Janie the Cleaning Lady and Ted the Janitor playing the part of Mayor Dinkens' employees. Billy West was playing the part of Mayor Dinkens.
Howard came back and applauded the bit saying he loved it. He took some calls and asked some callers if they liked it. One guy said that he was staring at his radio while it was playing. One guy called in and complained about a tape he bought from them that didn't come out right.
Howard and Robin were talking about how Prince was supposed to be dating Kim Bassinger. David confirmed that and Howard sounded a little jealous of that.
Howard asked David if Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley were making out while they were in the limo with him. He said that they held hands but that was about it. Howard figured that Billy has to prove his love for her by doing stuff like that. Robin said that Billy seems to come off as a pretty regular guy. She's seen him walking down the street by himself in Manhattan. He doesn't even wear a disguise.
Howard said that he had the one legged ball boy from the U.S. Open Sores video on the phone. The guy said that he wanted to take his leg off and play Jingle Bells on the harmonica with the air that comes out of the prosthetic leg. Howard said that was kind of a round about way to play the harmonica. He told the guy to go ahead and try it so he could hear it over the phone. The guy told him to hold on for a second and then took his leg off. He played the song but Howard said he could tell that it wasn't the guy playing with his leg. He was playing it with his mouth and he was going to hell at Gary for putting him on the phone.
Howard said that there's no way that was his leg but the guy swore that it was. Howard asked the guys if anyone in the studio believed it. Fred said there's a chance that it was real. Howard asked David if he believed it and he said that it could be. Howard told the guy that he's going to kick him out of there if he comes down and it's not for real. He told him to swear on it. The guy wouldn't do it so Howard hung up on him.
Howard tried to call this woman Cindy who claims that she has four breasts. She wasn't there so he took a call from another woman who claims that she can play Jingle Bells on her breasts. She said that she was going to come down tomorrow and play for them. She said that she plays the bells with her breasts and that's how she's going to do it.
Howard listened to the woman as she claimed to be playing the song but he didn't believe that it was really her. He told her to come down anyway because he wants to see her topless. She said that she'd come in if she could bring a friend. Howard told her no way when he found out it was a dude. He told the guy to stay home and have fun there instead. The woman said that she can't take her shirt off without him so Howard hung up on her.
Howard said that they had another woman who wanted do something on the show. He tried calling her and got some guy on the phone. He asked for Lisa and he told them to hang on for a moment. Lisa got on the phone and said that was her boss who picked up, not her father like Howard thought it was.
Howard said that Lisa wanted to come in and be with a woman in the studio. She said that's what she wanted to do at the Christmas party they were going to hold tomorrow. Howard said that they're going to have some lesbians in there so she might be able to do something. Lisa said that she's 20 years old so Howard told her that she isn't old enough to drink so he's not sure that she could be in there. Gary said that he was told not to say that they were going to have alcohol in the studio. Howard said that he didn't know that and no one told him anything. He said that they are going to have alcohol in there but he's apparently not allowed to say that.
Howard ended up goofing on Gary about what he had just said about not having any alcohol. He said that it's like he's some kind of Perry Mason guy there. He goofed on him for a few minutes about that before getting back to Lisa.
Howard asked Lisa what she was going to be wearing when she came in. She said that she'd wear anything they wanted. Howard found out that she was 5'6'' tall and had C-cup breasts. Howard asked if she would wear her backless dress backwards. She said that she would do that. Robin asked what she does for a living. She said that she's a secretary. Howard said that the party should be fun without any alcohol. He said that he had to go to break after that.
Howard talked about some of the stuff that's going to be in that article about him and how Gary is going to get credit for doing stuff that he really doesn't do. Gary came in and told Howard to just drop dead. He said that he doesn't appreciate that. He told David to just leave him out of the article completely.
Howard ended up goofing on Gary about his job and how he couldn't get another job if he got fired today. He told Gary that he's stupid and he should have told him about the alcohol thing off the air instead of doing it on the air. Howard told Gary to get out of the studio but he stuck around. He told Gary that he did wrong and he doesn't even get it. Gary said he made a mistake and asked Howard to cut him a break.
Howard told Gary that he was fired and to get out of the studio. Howard told him that they won't be able to drink now that he's said that on the air.
Howard asked David if he thinks that Gary did wrong. He explained that Gary could have just said off the air that they had this conversation with him about the alcohol thing but he waited until they were on the air. Howard asked David to just agree with him so that's what he did.
Gary came back in and told Howard that if he had just let it go it would have gone away already. Howard said he can't let it go. Gary said that he didn't know if Howard was being defiant or if he really didn't know about the alcohol thing.
Howard said that Gary should leave and leave in disgrace. He said that if the Rolling Stone article makes him look bad because of Gary, he's going to fire him.
Robin got into some other news articles after Leona was gone. Howard said that they had a guy on the phone who was involved with the subway stabbing that Robin had brought up in the news. He said that the guy wanted to call himself Clyde, his African name. He picked up the phone but got a dial tone instead of this ''Clyde'' guy. Howard said that he was about to stab someone after that happened.
Howard went to the phone again a short time later and had Clyde (Fred) on the phone. Clyde was talking about how he was a ''good sa-martian'' instead of a good Samaritan. He said he was minding his own business down in the subway and singing some lyrics from Howard's ''Psychadelic Bee'' song. He told Howard he also wanted to stab that Rolling Stone guy who was sitting in. Howard talked to Clyde about the stabbing and found out he did that to stop some hooligans from attacking another man. He said that he was actually trying to stab the honky peckerwood that was getting attacked. Howard hung up on him a short time later.
Fred came back in after the call and Howard told him that he had just missed a great phone call. Robin told Howard about a story in the news about Father Bruce Ritter and that led to Howard saying that they're still using his picture to promote this Covenant House thing that he was involved with. Howard read the ad they had for that place and made up some lines that weren't actually in the ad.
Howard got the two guys on the phone and said that both of them have been on the show before. Howard asked Leary if he had been doing any crack lately. He said that he hadn't since the last time he saw him.
Gordon said that people apparently want to hear them debate so that's what they've been doing. He said that they change the subjects they talk about when they go out. He said that they have different views on the fall of the Soviet Union. The two of them went back and forth talking about that for a couple of minutes.
Howard got involved with the debate a little bit and asked them some questions to get them going. He asked about Pete Rose and if he should be allowed to come back. Both Gordon and Timothy had different views on that subject. They talked about that a little bit and then Howard asked them about some other stuff like Leonard Marshall. That led to Howard asking the guys if they had ever had black girlfriends before. Gordon said he hadn't but Timothy had.
The guys argued about a few things but they said that they are friends. Gordon said that they've been arguing since the 1960s but they remain friends even though they have different views. Howard said that he might have to go see these guys doing this debating thing. He said that he'll come by and see them at the venue they were doing that Saturday.
Howard let them go a short time later and said that he liked Timothy's phone connection and made fun of that for a short time. He said that it was a pretty good debate and he might go to see them because he doesn't have anything better to do. They had to go to break a short time later.
Robin read a story about a girl in Connecticut who went off to do some missionary work and was found in El Salvador sitting on a cache of weapons. She was ordered out of the country by the President because she may have been supplying rebels with weapons.
Robin had some audio of Jon Bon Jovi talking about their upcoming tour. Howard had some fun goofing on the way he talks a little bit. Howard said that some of the stuff he was saying was driving him nuts. He said that he was hoping that their album was going to bomb but it's actually doing really well.
Fred threw in some 'Gina Man audio clips during the news. They had him singing some Christmas songs in his own special way.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's a contortionist and wanted to come in for the party tomorrow. Howard told her she could come in after she said she can fit herself into a 30 inch box. She said that she'll get topless and only wear a thong bottom when she does this. He said that he'd like to see that.
Howard ended up saying something about Jessica Hahn during the news and he hit the delay button on himself so it wouldn't be on the air. Then he asked David not to put that in the article because it would upset Jessica. He said that he really likes Jessica and didn't want to upset her. He ended up doing an impression of Jessica and what she might say to David if he called her to ask her about what he said.
Stuttering John came in and said that they had a woman on the phone who said that she has 3 breasts. She told Howard her name and then gave him the details about the three breasts. She said that she has two normal ones and one in the center and they all have the same sized nipples. She said that it ran in the family and that's why they didn't bother having it removed. She said she'd be willing to reveal it to them in the studio.
Howard asked the woman if she's good looking. She said that she's average looking. She told them that the breast is kind of recessed so it doesn't stick out. He told her to come on down tomorrow so they can check it out.
Howard talked to David about Rolling Stone magazine for a couple of minutes. He also talked about Meg and how she makes people feel bad there by not talking to them after they show their breasts on the air.
Howard asked where Meg was again after talking about her for 5 minutes. She eventually came in and Howard said she was dressed special for David today. Robin said her hair looked nice today too like she was all made up for David. Meg asked Howard what was wrong with him today. He told her that he thinks that she'd be so into him if he was single. He didn't think that she was all that into her husband but she sticks with him. Howard said that he's much more talented than her husband is. She said that their talents are different. She said that her husband works in TV, not on radio. Howard said that he's turned down a lot of TV projects, probably more than her husband has ever worked in.
Howard asked Meg about her TV show and if she wore a bathing suit in an episode. She said that she never did that. Howard said that he found it hard to believe when he heard about it so he's sticking with Meg on that story.
Howard asked Meg if she has a problem with Rolling Stone magazine not covering certain bands. She said that she doesn't and they do just fine doing what they do and they should keep doing it. She said she reads Spin magazine for some things and Rolling Stone for others.
Howard asked Meg about how she doesn't talk to Shelly anymore. Meg didn't know where they got that story because she doesn't think that's the case at all. Shelly came in a short time later and said that she has stopped talking to her. She said that she doesn't see Shelly that much and she's not sure what's going on there.
Pat Cooper came walking in a short time later yelling about some nonsense. Pat told the guys that he was upset about something they had said about him on the air. Pat said that he had to go around to a few other places to give his Christmas wishes. Howard said that Meg looked mad at him too and he wasn't sure why. She said she wasn't but Howard figured it was because he was wearing a leather coat and she's against killing animals like that.
Pat ran off but Howard said he could still hear him out there talking in the hall. He said that it's Tom who gets him into trouble with his guests when he grabs and sticks on the other shows there at K-Rock.
Howard got back to Meg and talked to her about her not talking to Shelly. He also asked her about her husband a little more and said that she's not being honest about Rolling Stone. He asked her about the tape he had out and if she had seen it yet. She said that she saw about 10 minutes of it in the jock lounge. She said that she hasn't gotten her copy back yet.
Howard asked David if he was attracted to her. He told David that he could easily get her if he wanted. He said that he just has to take her to see Oingo Boingo. Howard told Meg about David hanging out with Billy Joel and stuff like that.
Howard was trying to set Meg up with someone but things weren't working out very well. She said that things never do work out when people try to set her up. Howard told her that he's had some fantasies about her and he has all kinds of thoughts about her when he sees her bend over. He said she's got a nice ass, it's not the average Irish ass.
Howard said that he'd like to call Meg's boyfriend, Steve Kapen, to find out more about their relationship. She said that she'll check with Steve and find out if he wants to talk to Howard. Howard said they had to get out of there now. He said that the rest of the station has to take over now.
Robin said that she heard that Meg does have a sense of humor and she will come in and call two operators and put them on the phone with each other so they end up talking to each other. Meg said that Gary taught her that one. Howard tried that with two phone callers. He picked up on a couple of callers and tried to get them to talk to each other. It wasn't working very well though, the callers were on to him. He said that it had worked in the past when he did it himself. He spent a little more time with Meg and then ended the show around 9:30am (Master Tape Theatre time).