Howard started off the show talking about Dave Navarro stopping by later in the morning. He said that they talked about Dave with Greg Fitzsimmons last week and Dave was apparently upset about that. He wrote about it on his blog so Howard read some of what he wrote about Greg and his complaints that he wasn't paying attention to him at a porn convention.
Howard said that Jenna Jameson was also talking about Dave Navarro and how she wasn't able to get too worked up about him because he's so short.
Howard said they also have Summer Verona coming in with her father who will be waxing her in the studio. The guys talked about that for a minute. Robin reminded everyone that Jenna Jameson's father came in one time and he was able to pick out her vagina from a line up.
Howard and Gary went out to a Knick game with their women. They went to Nobu for dinner after that. Mary doesn't like fish so that was a little rough for her. He said that she had plenty to eat but she's not really into the fish thing. He said that Gary is a good guy too. He said that he's much more fun than Fred is. He said that he has some good stories and doesn't bore him like Dan The Song Parody Man apparently would.
Howard said that some people complain that Gary talks too much but he didn't find it all that bad. He said that they gossiped about everyone on the show while they were out. Fred said that Gary is the guy who makes that move and kind of looks around the room to make sure that the person he's about to talk about isn't there. He's good at it.
Gary came in and said that Fred will do similar things about people on the show but he does it through e-mail. Fred said that he's not doing it personally, he's passing along e-mail and it's not personal. Gary said that it's all the same thing and it's just in his mind that it's different.
Howard said that he likes gossip and he likes Gary and the way he tells these stories. He feels that he's a good conversationalist and he has a good time when he's out with him. Fred said he knows that Howard likes that kind of discussion.
Howard said that Gary told him that everything he was telling him on Friday night was supposed to be off the record. He said he was drinking at the time so he doesn't remember what Gary even said. Howard said that they spent equal time on just about everyone there. Gary said that the one person who didn't come up in conversation was Fred. He said that nothing came up, not even a little. Howard thought that Fred had come up but then he figured it may have been someone else.
Fred said he wouldn't mind if he was brought up but it is one of those things that he's noticed that Gary does there. Fred said he's not a gossip himself but Gary sure is. He said he really doesn't talk about other people on the show like Gary does.
Howard thinks that he would get caught up in talking about other people if he went out and hung out with people from work. Fred said he's thought about doing that but he can't bring himself to actually do it. He said that when he's in a conversation with people from work, and they start to gossip about others, he out of there.
Gary said that in the past Howard would tell stories about dates that they had and sex stories, and Fred would never get in on that stuff. Fred said that he's not comfortable doing that and he doesn't have a huge catalog of people to go through either.
Robin wanted to know what was said about her. Gary said that they just talked about how they think there's love in the air with her and Jim.
Howard said that they went out to the Knick game and they were playing the San Antonio Spurs and they were leading by 18 points at one point. Then, after half time, they just fell apart and lost that lead. At the end of the game there were a few seconds on the clock and the Spurs came back and ended up beating them. The Knicks were up by 3 and they left the Spurs open and they made a 3 pointer which tied the game. They went into overtime and then the Spurs just annihilated them. The Knicks didn't score much of anything while they were still there. They left with about a minute left in overtime.
Artie said that when he's up by a lot, he gets really comfortable and he starts throwing the money around like it's not even his money. He does the same thing when he's playing blackjack and craps. He said it's not gambling if you take your time with the bets.
Howard asked Artie if maybe he wants to lose so he doesn't have to worry about getting the money from his bookie. Artie said that could be part of it.
Artie went on to talk about how he went to a course at a county college one time. He said it cost him a few grand to go for a semester. He only went because he told his mom that he'd do it for her. He said that the college was really lame because he actually had a locker there. He said that he'd go to the game room and play 9 ball every day. He and a friend would play $5 on the money balls and things got really crazy on some days. He didn't go to class because he was so busy winning at pool. He said he ended up about a grand up for the semester and ended up going to school for free.
Artie said he had a bookie back then and he ended up playing for about 9 hours straight. He wasn't very consistent though. Some days he was good but some days he was awful. This one day he was on a roll and he was up by $280,000! He said that they just kept doubling the bets and that's how it got so high. He said the guy only had $70 on him so he ended up calling it even when he paid him that.
Artie said that he had just bought a 1970 Nova back then for $100. He said that he got it from some chick and she left him a million Newports with lipstick on them in the ashtray. He had a new radio to install so he had the guy who owed him the $280,000 install it for him and ended up calling it even.
Gary asked Artie about the school he went to and if it was true he just went to one class. Artie said he really did just go to class on the first day.
Robin said she's been thinking about going to a game because she hasn't been in such a long time. Howard said that he was brought in through the back at Madison Square Garden and there were a bunch of dogs there in cages because they were getting ready to do a show the next day. Beth and Mary were there going crazy over the dogs.
Howard said on Saturday night he went to Scott Greenstein's son's bar mitzvah. He said that they held it at the museum of natural history and really made a big deal out of it. He said it was more like Scott's night, not even his son's. Gary said they were going to try and rent out that room for Howard's birthday one year but it was $20,000 just to rent out the room.
Howard said that they have a big room there and there weren't any dinosaurs or anything up there. Artie said that's a pretty special thing for him to do for his kid.
Howard thought that Scott's salary was in the paper. Artie said he thinks that he read about it and it was like $700,000 per year. Howard said he thought that's what it was about and he thought about the kind of money he was spending on this thing. He rented out that room and he had Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes there performing. He figured he had to spend about 20 grand on them too. Then he was leaving and he saw this big black guy calling his name when he was leaving. Then he realized that it was LL Cool J. He was also at the party as a performer. Robin didn't believe that but Howard said he was pretty sure that's who it was. He wasn't positive though. Howard said that he and Beth were leaving before LL did his thing though.
Howard said that he wasn't even going to go to this bar mitzvah but Scott called Beth and told her he wanted them to be there. When he got there he was seated at the same table as Bam Margera. He had no idea why he was there but the guys heard that Scott likes Bam because he's way into Swedish music like Scott is.
Howard said that Scott's wife was wearing a nice dress that Beth told him was $28,000. Howard said that he thought that Scott was in the mob or something. He said that $700,000 isn't a lot of money to be making if you're living in New York. He was trying to figure out how he can afford that stuff.
Gary said that Scott used to own a movie company but he sold it. It was a major film company that made some hit movies. Howard said that he didn't know that.
Howard said that Scott is into the whole star trip and he's got a godfather for his son. He said that he got Little Steven to be his son's godfather, even though there are no godfathers in the Jewish religion. Howard said that Little Steven even got up at one point and said a few words. He's actually involved with the kid's life like he's supposed to. He said that he's not sure if Scott has any real friends or just the celebrities.
Howard said that Tony Hawk was at the party and he was another one of those guys who can't possibly be friends with Scott. Howard said he was at the table with Ross Zapin, Bam, some NASCAR guy whose name he didn't know. He said that he really wasn't at the right table. He said he should have been at the table with Mel Karmazin.
Howard was also complaining about the music and the constant pounding. He said that he night actually turned out to be really nice. He said that he had a few vodka and cranberry drinks and he was so wasted he was talking about everyone and being too loud with his comments. He said Beth had to drag him out because of what he was saying. Howard said they had a really nice time there though.
Artie asked Howard where his kid's bat mitzvahs would stand compared to this one. Howard said that his kid's were way over the top, especially the last one he had. He said that he thinks that they were sending the wrong message with this last one because of how much they spent on it. He said that it was kind of out of hand.
Howard said that he loves his daughter's so much that he thinks they deserve it all. He said that they've brought a lot of joy to his life. He said he does try to think about what else they could do but this is what they have to do to keep up with all of the other kids. He said that's what they're all doing and he's not the one making all of the decisions either.
Artie said that he checked out that Sweet 16 show that they've talked about and he couldn't believe how nuts it was. Gary said that there was one moment in that show where the father throws his daughter a party that's huge. Then the guy brings out a car and the car is the wrong color and the girl says that he's ruined everything because it was the wrong color.
Jessica said that he died last night and he's all she had. She said that she's not sure what she's going to do now. She said that it all happened so suddenly. She said that they found a tumor last week and they told him he had to get his affairs in order and they he lasted just a short time.
Howard said that Ron was 60 years old and he was a smoker. It turned out he had a lung tumor and it was too late to do anything for him. He was able to get his affairs in order but he stayed alive just long enough to do that.
Jessica said that she and Ron were together for 16 years and he's been terrific to her over that time. He set her up in an apartment and then in a home and took care of her all this time. She said that he lived right down the road from her.
Jessica said that Ron told her not to worry about anything and he'd take care of her. Howard said he knows how great he was to her and he feels really bad for her. Jessica was in crying and telling Howard how much Ron meant to her.
Jessica said that Ron died on Sunday and she's not sure what's going to happen now. Howard told her that they'll put him in the ground pretty quick, they're Jewish. She said that he's got two kids and they love her and they're taking care of all of this stuff.
Jessica said that she was able to say goodbye to Ron and he told her that he'd make sure that she was taken care of. She apologized for calling in like this today. Howard said he was glad she called in because they like her so much. They all gave their condolences about that and let her go a short time later. Howard told her she'll be okay.
Artie said that he had some jokes that he told during that show and the show was just a day after he had died. He said that the jokes destroyed that night and he killed. He said that he killed with them again in Vegas and he said some stuff on camera and TMZ got a hold of that and now in the paper they're writing about him making jokes at Heath's expense.
Artie said he wanted to apologize for the jokes if they were offended by them but he really didn't think that they were at his expense. Howard said that if anyone heard the material, they wouldn't think that he was doing it at his expense.
Artie said that the house that Jessica has could really take care of her. Howard said that Ron and Jessica had a great set up. they didn't live together and just let each other do their own thing. Ron would come over and bang her a couple of times a week and he'd go back to his house. They just lived their own lives and had a good time.
Eric was asking where they can send condolences but everyone told him not to creep her out with that kind of stuff.
Eric changed the subject and said that he has a show on JFSC.tv and he plays music over there. Howard asked him what kind of music he plays and found out some of the songs. They ended up goofing on him about the way he chokes on his phlegm. Eric was on camera at JFSC so Howard asked him to put his foot up on the camera. He said that he wanted to see the gout on there. They saw some odd stuff up there so they could see what exactly was going on down there. One toenail was just about falling off his foot.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that his foot is disgusting and he knows because Eric went on a date with Nikki Ziering one time and he could smell it. They talked about how disgusting his feet were. Eric took his dog Sadie and put her up on the camera too. Howard said that the dog looks like it's dead and he's just putting it up on the camera.
Artie said that Eric might be the most vile of the Wack Packers. It was a toss up between Jeff the Drunk and Eric. Robin said that she didn't think that she could make a choice between those two. Robin said she'd probably have to go with Jeff the drunk because he only has one arm that he'd be touching her with. She also said that she could close her eyes and she could be on top of him.
Howard said that he didn't want to go there with her but he really needed an answer. He had Fred playing some Jeff the Drunk moaning clips and Robin moaning clips so he could create that sex scene.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that he was very happy. Robin had just made his day by picking him over Eric. He said he was going to go jerk off now that he's heard that. Artie said you can see Jeff the Drunk at the Borgata with him on the 16th.
High Pitch asked if he could come to that show with Jeff too. Artie said he's not going to pay him. Eric said he doesn't have to. That led to the guys playing a prank call Eric made to a pharmacy where he was looking for some twat cream. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard said that Steve has an internet radio show now and that's about as good as talking to no one. Artie said that he likes guys like Grillo because being in Beer League would have been a big deal for him.
Howard said that Steve is now involved in something called Cops Helping Cops which is a home building project down in New Orleans. Grillo said that this guy has a really sad story about a cop down in New Orleans and he's involved in it but now he can't afford to go down there because he won't be able to afford his house if he's down there volunteering.
Steve said they're doing this America's Most Wanted thing down there but Howard cut him off and told him to get to the point. Steve said he was trying to. He said you can go to CopsHelpCops.com if you want to get involved. He said that the show is going to air on February 23rd for America's Most Wanted.
Howard said that Steve had given them the wrong web site when he called in. Steve said he's not sure why they got it wrong.
Steve said he's looking for another bartending job in the city so anyone that's interested can find him on Myspace. He said that he's a great bartender. He also has that internet radio show he does and you can find out more about that at HardRockRadio.com.
Howard asked Steve to help him out and get off the air now. He let him go a short time later. They played a prank call they made using some clips of Steve going off on Tracy the office manager after they had an on air battle.
Howard said he wasn't sure why he booked them if it's not really her father. Gary told him that he approved it in a meeting. Howard had some tape of Richard Christy interviewing Summer and this guy at the AVN awards. The guy does live with Summer's mother. After listening to that clip Howard said that it was kind of creepy so it should be a good segment.
Howard said he tried to watch some of the Grammy Awards last night. He said he also watched the red carpet coverage that Lisa Rinna was doing. He recently gave her some advice on how to interview the celebrities. He said that she seems to be letting her lip go down and she also had a backless tittie dress like he asked her to wear. He said that she appeared to be trying to drop that fake laugh she does, but she can't seem to stop it completely. She did some better interviews but now Joey Fattone is getting worse. He said that he talks right over her. He said that Lisa was doing well but Joey was talking over her so now he has to talk to him about that.
Howard said that the Grammy red carpet is kind of boring because there's no one you really want to see there. He said the one person you do want to see is Amy Winehouse and she wasn't able to come into the U.S. because she didn't get her work visa in time. Robin said that she's wild and her moves are crazy on stage. She said that Amy has these back up singers who had no part in the song other than dancing.
Fred said that Amy is the skankiest looking chick and he doesn't think she's going to live for more than a year after seeing what a mess she was on that show last night.
Howard said that they had this Carrie Underwood on the show last night and she was looking much better after losing some weight. He said they had the camera on her quite a bit last night.
Howard said that they had a Cher impersonator come out and present an award last night and there's no way that was really Cher. Robin told him that it was really Cher, he had to be kidding. Howard said that Cher has really let herself go these days. He said that he thought it was an impersonator for sure.
Howard said that Tina Turner looked odd last night and she's got no reason to be going out in that kind of dress she was wearing. She's 67 years old. He said that Rihanna looked really good. Beyonce has gotten fat again and he said that she looked sooo bad. He said that she should be cover up her legs and show off her top. She does the opposite though. He said he saw Beyonce down in Miami a couple of years ago, when she was thin, and she looked great. He talked about Alicia Keys as well and how bad she looked.
Gary said that Alicia Keys came out in a wig and a different dress last night and she looked really good. The guys were also talking about Fergie and the outfits she was wearing last night. Howard said that no one is taking her seriously and she should back off with the way she acts.
Howard played a couple of short clips from the Grammy Awards. He played some Carrie Underwood, Rihanna, Kanye West and others. They talked about some of the performances and how most of them were lip synced. Howard said that Kanye had ''Mama'' carved into his head last night and he thought that was a little odd, but the song he sang about his mother was kind of sweet. Artie said he thought that was kind of nice too.
Howard said that he wrote a song about his mama too. He went into Kanye's song and sang about his mother removing the pinworms from his ass. Artie threw in some lyrics for Howard as well.
Howard played some audio of Tina Turner singing with Beyonce. Fred said that she's close to 70 years old but she kicked Beyonce's ass. Howard agreed with him on that. Howard said that Tina was also thinner than Beyonce. He fast forwarded through the song and got to a part where the two of them were taking turns singing.
Howard said he had some of Amy Winehouse singing ''Rehab'' but Robin told him he has to see the video because she had all kinds of ticks and she was acting very odd. Howard played some of the song and said that she does sound high. He played another one of her songs since he had never heard anything else of her's. Fred thought this other song was much better than the other one. Artie said that he was digging that song too because it sounds so soulful.
JD came in and said that he there was a rapper there who has a new album coming out and the name of it is basically the N-word and he and all of his entourage were wearing shirts with the word on it. Even a white chick was wearing the shirt.
Howard got back to the Amy Winehouse song and listened to a few more seconds of that. Robin said that performance was really amazing and Howard has to see her.
Howard said that they do some of the Grammy's before the TV show airs. The best Comedy Album is one of the awards they give away and Lisa Lampanelli was nominated. He said that he knew that Flight of the Conchords was going to win and told her that when she was on. He said that he asked her to call in and let them know how things were going there at the show. He said that she got all dressed up for it but no one else bothered. He played some audio of the call after that.
In the call you hear Lisa getting all excited about the nominees and then they announce that Flight of the Conchords won. Lisa was laughing when she heard that they won. She said that she couldn't believe it. She said that she and Steven Wright showed up and they give the award to Flight of the Conchords.
Howard said that you don't get a lot of nominations in your career and then you lose out to something like that. Artie said that Steven Wright has only put out 2 albums, 22 years apart, and both were nominated. He lost bot times.
Lisa called back and left another message. She said that she stormed out of there after that and pointed out that they didn't even show up to accept their award. She said that she bonded with Steven Wright there at the awards. She went out and found an Indian guy and read her acceptance speech to that guy. She went through the whole speech and thanked the one person who gives her strength and is all powerful and almighty and thanked Howard Stern. Then she said ''Howard bless... and good night.''
Howard said he had some audio of Amy Winehouse accepting one of her awards. Robin said that this is another one where they had to see the video. Fred read that she wrote that song Rehab after her management company told her to go to rehab and her father told her he didn't think she needed to go. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard played some clips of Summer doing some stuff with a black guy in one of her movies. He said that she apparently will work with black guys. Rich asked if he could take his headphones off while they played those clips. Howard told Rich he doesn't think he's any kind of Father Figure. Rich said that she'll tell him all about that.
Howard asked Summer about using the N-word in that clip he'd just played. She said that the director wanted her to use it as much as she could so that's what she did.
Howard said that Rich moved next door to Summer and her mother when Summer was still a little girl. She was around 6 or 7 at the time. Rich said he knew that she was going to be hot even back then. He said that he just knew it but that doesn't mean he's a pedophile or anything. He said that she didn't have a father and he became friends with her mother and he gave her a job.
Howard asked Rich some questions about when Summer started to menstruate and stuff like that. He said he doesn't know that kind of stuff. Summer said that Rich was really like a father with her and she does call him daddy sometimes. She said that she and her mother thought he was gay for a long time and he never hit on either of them.
Rich told Howard about how he'd pay Summer to take care of his dog when he would go on trips to Brazil. He said that's how she started making money with him. Then he said that he went down to Brazil and started an internet company down there. He said that Dennis Hof from the Bunny Ranch came down and helped him out getting started in the porn business. that's when he started shooting scenes.
Summer said she learned about the porn thing when she was about 15 years old. She never really thought about doing it until she was about 16 or so. She said that she didn't get into it until she was 18 of course. Howard asked why Rich would encourage her to get into something like that. He said that he didn't encourage her, he didn't want her to get into it but she insisted. Summer said she was going to do it on her own if he didn't help. Rich said that he talked to her mother about it and he did help her get started. He said that her mother wasn't happy about that but she's okay with it now. Rich is now her manager.
Rich said that he never watches porn himself. Howard asked why he's there to wax her today. Rich said that he wanted to do everything right with Summer because he believes that no matter what you do, you have to try and be the best you can be. He said that he knows how to do all of this stuff that he needs to do to make these porn movies, and he knows how to wax someone.
Rich said that he's going to be waxing Summer's asshole today. Howard thinks that he's so into her that he'll do anything like this to be closer to her. Howard wanted to have him take a lie detector test about whether or not he likes her that way. Summer said that she doesn't think that he thinks about her that way. Howard said that he has to have jerked off thinking about her. Rich said that he never has.
Rich said that he has a girlfriend but she lives down in Brazil. He said that he can't go down there very often because of the weak dollar.
Howard played a clip of Summer doing a guy in a film and ended up asking her if she really talks like that when she's having sex at home. She said that sometimes she will tell a guy to fuck her pussy like she was doing in that clip.
Howard asked Summer about this ass waxing thing she was going to be doing. She said that there are a lot of girls who have hair back there and she had to let her's grow out a little bit for today. Summer said she had a question for Artie today. She said that she and her friends were thinking that Artie has a penis that's like a coke can while Howard's is like a carrot. Howard said Artie might be willing to show it to her. Artie said that this was a little aggressive and asked her if she wanted a date or something. Howard said that he'd show it to Summer if she wanted to see it. He quickly changed subjects though.
Howard said he doesn't think a guy starts waxing his daughter unless he's hot for her. He said this guy isn't fooling him. Artie said he thinks that they're actually dating and he's going to start fucking her right now. Summer said that she doesn't like getting waxed and she hates when he does this. She actually looks at Rich as if he's a gay father and she knows that he's not really into her.
Howard said that Summer has a nice ass. She stripped down so she could get waxed and Howard told her that she's got some nice boobs too. Howard asked why she doesn't go to a waxing salon or something. Rich said that she's too cheap to do it and he's really not into this whole thing himself.
Howard told Rich to do his thing. Artie said that it was very inviting looking with her bent over the way she was. She was complaining about the heat from the wax when Rich put it on her. She said that her eyes were watering from the pain. Howard said that Rich's finger was in her asshole but Rich said that's not true. He said that he was going to have to go in there with his fingers while the wax was still warm so he could rip the wax out with the strips of paper.
Howard said that if Rich was really against this, he'd send her to a salon and pay for it himself. While that was going on, Rich was blowing on the wax on Summer's ass to cool it down. Rich said that he also colors and cuts Summer's hair. He does everything for her.
Summer said that she flew in from California one time and she had nowhere to go and get waxed. That led to Rich doing it for her. She was screaming about how much pain she was in while Rich was still waxing her as she was telling those stories.
Howard asked Robin if she could ever imagine doing this with someone who was a father figure in her life. Of course she said ''absolutely not...'' Howard asked Rich where he went to find out how to do this. Rich said he learned down in Brazil.
Will said that he's not a professional either because there's wax all over her ass. Rich kept going and Artie said that he thinks that they should have him arrested.
Howard read that Summer works at the Bunny Ranch sometimes. She said that's true and her fans can come there and fuck her. Rich was still doing the waxing so she'd let out a scream once in a while. Howard said that Rich was all over her and he must want her so bad.
Summer said they should test Rich on a lie detector and if he fails, she'll never see him again. Howard asked her if it felt good while he was wiping her ass with the wax. She said it didn't. Howard asked how much it costs to bang her at the Bunny Ranch. She said it varies and it all depends on what they do. She told him to come in and they'd talk about it.
Gary said that they both don't want to do this but there's no urgency in this whole thing. He said that Rich was digging around her ass doing something for about 40 seconds and she didn't have a problem with it. Howard asked how her ass looked when she was done. He checked it out and said it was as clean as a whistle.
Howard asked Summer again how much it would cost him to bang her. She wouldn't give a straight answer and kept saying it varies. That led to Howard giving her a plug for the HBO series Cat House which she's appearing in this season. That show is on this Thursday. He gave her a plug for BunnyRanch.com and Rich a plug for his modeling agency RichModeling.com.
Howard said that they might have to get Rich back in there for the lie detector test. He said that he's got a few questions for him that he wants to find out the answer about. Howard gave them a couple more plugs and then Summer said that she really needs a Valentine for this year. Artie asked her about the cost of going to the Bunny Ranch but she still wasn't answering about that.
Howard said that he wanted to talk to Dave about Carmen Electra first. He said that she's one of the hottest chicks in the country and he wants to know how Dave blew that whole thing. Dave said that he had to keep his mouth shut about that whole thing because the press picks up on everything anyone says. He said that he didn't cheat on Carmen like people said he did. He said that she didn't cheat either. He said that their lives took them apart from each other and they had to just stick to being friends.
Dave said that he will never get married again, he's just not good at it. Howard told Dave that he's getting married again. He said that he's obviously better at it than Dave was. Howard said he was married for 20 years and things didn't work out in that one. Dave said that marriage was created when people only lived to the age of like 30 so it wasn't a big deal. Things are much different now.
Howard told Dave that Jenna Jameson was on the show talking about him the other day. Dave wanted to hear it so Howard played him the clip. In the clip Jenna is talking about Dave's height and how he's a little femme for her. She said looking down at him was kind of weird. Dave said that looking down on her was perfect for him. He didn't have the same feeling about her.
Dave said that he did use a condom with her every time he was with her but there were times when he'd do oral and he didn't care about what he might get down there. He said that none of that matters when you're with her.
Howard asked Dave if he and Carmen were trying to make a baby. Dave said neither of them are into it so they didn't bother. He said he never wants kids anyway.
Howard asked Dave about his marriage to Carmen and if she ran off with Joan Jett after she was done with him. Dave said he heard that too but he's not sure. He said he'd be fine with that if that's what she actually did. Dave said that whatever she's doing in her personal life is fine and he doubts that she's with Joan Jett. He said he just talked to her about a month ago so they're still friends.
Howard said that Dave started to look at Carmen as his best friend. He found that hard to believe, so did Dave. Howard asked Dave about his sexual past and how he's kissed other men. Dave said that there's a lot of sexual things going on in the tour busses and he was never ''with men'' and you can tell by his resume of women that he's not gay.
Howard said that he's not so sure about Dave and asked if he's ever had a cock in his mouth. Dave swore that he never has. He said he'd take a lie detector test about that. He said that he did take a vibrator and shoved it up his ass one time. He said he talks about that on his radio show, which you can find at ManiaTV.com.
Dave said that he did that vibrator thing when he was in Jane's Addiction and it wasn't the best idea he ever had. He said he did it on stage and thought he'd get a reaction but everyone was shocked by what he'd done. He said that even the guys in the band were shocked by it. He said he was fucked up at the time though so that's why he ended up doing it.
Dave told Howard that he realized, when he started to get tired of Carmen, that he'd never be able to get married again. He said that if he can get tired of Carmen, he's going to get tired of other women too. He said that he'll eventually want other women.
Howard said that Dave has always hit on other women and he once asked Savanna Samson to come home to him when he was on the show with her. Dave said he never did get her. He said he did want to bring her home though. Dave said that he never really got tired of Carmen, they just didn't have a lot of time together.
Dave said he was kind of pissed about what Jenna said about him. He said he was going to call her in about 10 minutes when he gets out of there. He said that maybe he was jealous of him being better looking than her.
Howard asked Dave if he ever ate his own cum. Dave laughed when he heard that. That led to Howard playing a clip of Stormy Daniels talking about Dave on Bubba the Love Sponge's show. Dave said he heard about this but hadn't heard the interview yet. Howard had the audio so he went into it a short time later.
In the clip Stormy is talking about being in a room with Dave and he ended up jerking himself off. She said that his one hand was jerking it and the other hand went somewhere else under his body. She was assuming that the fingers were in his butt. Then, as he was finishing himself off, she wondered where he was going to cum. She said that he finished in his hand and it disappeared somewhere. She said she never saw him eat it but that's what she assumes happens.
Dave said that story was a little strange because she didn't see a lot of stuff going on, she was assuming a lot of what she was saying. Dave went on to talk about how he was out one night and got a message from her asking him to come out to the Playboy mansion to come and ''play with her'' out there. He went up there and said that he ended up making out with her and then went to the game room where they have a bunch of spare bedrooms. He said that his cock came out and he had no condom with him so they both agreed that he was just going to jerk off. He said that's all he did, he just jerked off and didn't stick any fingers up his ass.
Dave said that perhaps he was playing with his balls or something like that, he didn't stick his fingers up there. He said he heard the story from some fans and couldn't believe what she was saying. He said that she's like 9 feet tall and could beat the shit out of him if she wanted to. He's not sure where his load went and said that he may have just wiped it on something.
Robin asked Dave if he's not making that next day phone call to Stormy. Dave said that he waited a couple of days and when he did call, she never called him back. He said that he's not sure what went wrong there.
Dave said that he's got a target on his back and he's not sure why people go after him the way they do. He said that people say he's gay but he's fucking a different girl every night. He doesn't get that. He said that he's not sure what you can do about the girls yapping out there.
Howard said that Dave's blog about Greg Fitzsimmons comments about him was great. He played a clip of Greg talking about Dave last week on the show. In the clip Greg was complaining about Dave not paying attention to him when he was doing his act up on stage at the AVN awards. Greg was saying that Dave never founded a band or anything, he was just in some great bands. Dave countered that saying that he founded Jane's Addiction.
Dave said that he had two choices at the AVN convention. He said that he could pick up chicks or listen to some comedian on stage. He went with the chicks of course. Dave said that Greg was focused on the guy in the front row with the beard and not on the chicks out there. Howard said that Greg is actually a great guy but Dave said that he sounds like a cunt to him. Dave said that he was there working at the AVNs too and he was burnt out by the time Greg got on stage.
Howard gave Dave a plug for this ManiaTV.com thing that he's working on. Dave said that they have interviews with all kinds of different people on that site. He said they have an astrophysicist coming on the show. Howard didn't understand that until he heard that it was a female astrophysicist.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Dave has done all kinds of gay stuff and he'd like him to come out. Howard said he believes that Dave is straight because he has been with a lot of chicks. Howard asked Dave how Jenna was in bed. He said that she was just okay, there was a lot of laying around.
Howard said that one of the interns, Erica, came in today dressed up for Dave. It's one of the coldest days of the season in New York and she came dressed in a mini-skirt. Erica came in and said that she likes fashion and she did want to look good in front of Dave. She said that she's Korean and Dave asked her if she was Spanish. She said she's not so Dave asked her if she wanted some Spanish in her.
Howard asked Erica if she wanted to go out with Dave. She said she wouldn't mind that. Howard asked her if she's got a problem with him eating his own cum. He said he was just kidding about that.
Dave asked Erica why she gave him the cold treatment when he said hello to her earlier. She said she didn't want to get into trouble with Ronnie for talking to the guests. Howard said she was trying to be professional. Howard joked that she wore a burka when Greg Fitzsimmons was there. Dave told her that she was adorable.
Dave wondered why he has to come on this show and deflect so much stuff. He said he treats women very well, except when he's at the Playboy mansion jerking off. Howard told him that he's out in the public eye a lot and that's the kind of stuff that comes up. He said that a lot of guys are going to be jealous of him because of the girls he's getting and the fact that he's a rock star. He pointed out some of the other chicks that Dave has dated and told him that's the reason that guys are jealous of him. Dave had a Maxim model but he said that you can't throw a rock in L.A. without hitting a Maxim model. Artie said that all of his rocks hit fat chicks.
Howard talked to Dave about his marriage to Carmen and asked if there was a lot of crying when they ended it. He said that there probably was. He said that he's going to keep his C.E. tattoo forever though. He really thinks that marriage isn't a good thing for him. He said that Howard might be able to pull it off though.
Howard asked Dave what he's up to musically these days. He said he's working on a solo record and he's working with DJ Skribble on some stuff as well.
Dave talked about the Rock Star Supernova show and how the fans really hated the show. Howard said he kind of liked it. Dave said that he thinks that it helped the kids on the show get to where they were going. Howard said he wasn't sure about that because none of them have really gone anywhere. Dave said he knows, but they weren't going anywhere to begin with.
Howard asked Dave about his relationship with Perry Farrell. Dave said that he doesn't think that they're friends anymore based on what Perry has said about him. He said that he loved their music and he could work past all of that personal stuff to play with the band if they wanted to. He said that the band broke up because of a lot of miscommunication between management and Perry. He said that Perry was supposed to work on something else and they were told that he was going to be busy until 2008 so he went off and started another band. He thinks that they should be able to work things out and get back together some day because even Van Halen and the Eagles have managed to work it out.
Dave said that Perry has done some great stuff on his own but not as good as the stuff they were able to do as Jane's Addiction. He said that they got back together to do the song for ''Private Parts'' but that didn't last too long after that. He said that the band has broken up like 4 times.
Dave was also saying that he was the reason that he was booted out of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He said he was with them for 5 years but his drug use was a problem. He said that he loved being in that band and it was great experience while he was in that band.
Howard asked Dave if he would ever record a song for a commercial or something. Dave said those gigs don't pay enough so he wouldn't ever do it. He said that he can't endorse anything he doesn't like and use either.
Howard asked Dave if he saw the Grammy Awards last night. Dave said he's not into that kind of stuff. He said that he can't wait to get the google alerts about all of the stuff that happened on this show because that's the way the press works these days. He gets stuff from India about 2 weeks after it happens on Howard's show. Reporters don't do stuff on their own, they wait for Howard or someone like him to do interviews and they use that to do reports on the web.
Howard asked Dave about music downloading. Dave said that he doesn't even buy whole records anymore because he can download a single song if he wants. He said that the music industry is falling apart and there's really not any money to make out there. He said it's really fucked for the new bands out there. He said that it's really over for the record companies.
Dave said that when a band gets a record deal, they lose all of their money on music videos, photography, remixing their singles and stuff like that. All of their budget is spent trying to get this one song played and then it doesn't get played and they get dropped immediately. Dave said that even if the band gets a hit single, they can't afford to go out on tour because all of the money was spent on a music video.
Howard gave Dave some more plugs for the show he's doing for ManiaTV.com. Dave talked about some of the interviews they've done on there. He also mentioned that he manages a couple of people and one of them is a porn star who was on one of his shows.
Howard had to wrap up with Dave a short time later. He gave him some more plugs for the show, Spread, that's on ManiaTV.com. You can also go to TeraVision.com to see Dave's movie ''Broken'' over there.
Howard asked Dave if he thinks that he's a sex addict. Dave didn't seem to think that was the case. Howard asked Dave if he asked to smell his penis, would it smell like a woman. Dave said that it wouldn't, but that's probably because he took a shower this morning.
Dave wished Howard luck with his marriage but he said that he's never seen anyone who is married work things out. He said that the people who are supposedly getting along in their marriages actually hate each other. Howard said that he was scaring him with this stuff. Dave asked if Howard got engaged because his girlfriend was pushing him into it. Howard said that wasn't the case at all. He said they really just get along and love each other and they were fine not being married.
Dave said that he and Carmen had a pre-nup. He said that she makes some really good money when she does these gigs that she does and he really screwed up by signing the pre-nup. He was just joking when he said that. Howard said he had a theory about what happened with Dave and Carmen. He said that Dave probably got upset with Carmen going out to parties and stuff without him all the time. Dave said that she's really not like that. He said that he wanted someone who had their own life, their own money and all of that. He said that Carmen doesn't go out to the night clubs and to producer's houses doing coke or anything like that. Howard thought that he was being nice about all of this.
Gary came in and said that Lisa G was out in the hall saying that she thinks that Dave may have had some botox because his eyebrows don't move. Dave said that he has tried it before but he didn't like it. Dave called Lisa over to the couch and showed her his forehead. It was moving but she said that he looked like he had botox. Dave told her that it looked that way to him too. He said that he really didn't like the way it froze everything up on his head, it did look weird.
Dave said that Lisa was a cute little thing. He said that he's thought about having a news chick before and she was cute. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later.
Howard said that there's proof that there's no God in the paper. He read a story about a sex offender who won the lottery up in Connecticut. He won $10 million on a scratch ticket. The guy had been convicted of 6 sex crimes. The guy was also a class 3 sex offender which is considered the most dangerous.
Howard quickly mentioned Jessica Hahn's boyfriend Ron dying. He also read a story about how CBS Radio is making a lot of cuts in their business. He said that one of the scariest things about getting into radio was the way people hopped around radio stations. He thinks that he had a blessed career in New York where he was able to have somewhat of a normal lifestyle, unlike so many others.
Howard said that CBS had to let go a bunch of management and program directors from around the country. He said that they let a guy go from a Chicago station who has been around for a long time. K-Rock let go a woman who was just there for 7 months. She barely got started programming there and they let her go. He said he didn't know her but he feels bad for her.
Howard said there's still no word on the XM/SIRIUS merger. He said that there is some speculation in an article that the merger may go through but the big terrestrial radio companies are looking for some bandwidth on the satellite radios. He said he thinks that's a rotten deal and he doesn't think that would be right. There's no reason to give up channels to terrestrial stations. He said that satellite is already in the hole for billions of dollars and they can't just do something like that.
Steve said they have a story about a new VH-1 show that sounds very much like Howard's story leaving terrestrial radio for satellite. Steve also got in a bunch of plugs for Chuck Zito's show that airs tonight at 7 and Greg Fitzsimmons' show that airs at Midnight Eastern time.
Jon Hein came in and gave his Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll talk about Summer Verona's visit today. They'll also talk about Dave Navarro's interview. As he was talking about that Gary came in and said that some of the guys may have seen their intern making out with Dave in the kitchen. She came in and said that she almost made out with him but she didn't want to do that there at work so she turned him away. She said that she's got a boyfriend too so she didn't want to screw that up. She said she was very flattered by that. Howard said that Dave really works fast.
Jon wrapped up his Wrap Up Show preview after running down a list of some of the other things they'd be talking about today. Howard said he'd like to hear from Jessica Hahn again to make sure she's doing okay today.
Howard had Fred start Robin's news with one of her theme songs. She was going to read some of her stuff but Howard asked her about her weekend. He wondered if she spent it with Jim Florentine. Robin said that he was working so they didn't spend any time together. That led to Fred doing his Jim impression for a short time before Robin got into her news.
Robin read a story about Amy Fisher basically saying that Mary Jo Buttafuoco means nothing to her and she doesn't care that she's got a bullet in her head. She said that Mary Jo made millions on her story after she shot her and she doesn't care. She did the interview with Steppin' Out magazine. Howard said that if they have that in the magazine, he's pretty sure that Chaunce has tapes of it and could prove that she actually said it.
Howard asked Ivy if she'd bang Artie if he gave her the money. She said she would do him if lost a little weight. Artie said that he'd be willing to help if this was a life or death thing. He said he was feeling kind of guilty about that. She even gave out her personal phone number.
Howard took a call from Jessica Hahn who said she just got flowers from Ron who died over the weekend. She said that he sends them to her every Monday and they came today. Howard asked Jessica a few questions about Ron setting her up with the house and all of that. Jessica was still crying but not quite as hysterically as she was earlier. She told Howard that she loves them and said goodbye a short time later. She even apologized for crying the way she was. The guys told her she didn't have to apologize for that.
Artie said that he got the saddest e-mail from George Takei. He said that George was all offended by what he said to High pitch Mike last week. Robin said that he has been throwing that word around a lot lately and he should cut back on it.
Howard said that he got a lot of mail about what Artie did last week. He read through some of the mail and people thought that he was leaving Artie high and dry over that whole thing. There were some people who thought Artie came off as a bully. Artie said he doesn't hate gay people, but he does hate Mike so that's where the hate was coming from during that segment.
Howard read one e-mail where a guy said he had to turn off the show while Artie was throwing around the word ''fag'' with Mike in there. That guy said he was going to be canceling his subscription. Another person wrote in and said the same thing about that and the other stuff Artie says on the show about African Americans and women.
Howard said there were some people who agreed with Artie going off on Mike and think that he deserves to get his face smashed in. Some people thought Mike was out of line talking about Artie's sister the way he did. Other people were against Artie's gay bashing.
Howard read through a bunch of mail and had some feedback about Jonny Fairplay's visit last week, Will not flushing the toilet, the ''Ack Ack'' sound that Fred has been playing during Eric the Midget's calls and some other stuff. He had to go to break around 10:15am.
Robin got back into her news and read a story about Craig Ferguson talking about how he thinks that Jon Stewart would be a good replacement for David Letterman if Letterman doesn't renew his contract with CBS. Howard said he likes Jon but he's never watched that Daily Show before. Artie said that it's a very solid show.
Dave Navarro called in and wanted to know what Erica was saying about him. Howard told him what she said and how she was trying to be protective of her relationship with her boyfriend. Erica came back in and said that they were making it sound like he raped her or something when it really wasn't like that.
Dave said that there were fireworks in the air, that's all he's going to say. Erica agreed with that and left it at that. Howard said he thinks that he just saved her because Dave was about to get into it. He let her go and had Robin get back to her news.
Robin got back to the Jon Stewart and David Letterman story. Artie said that Jon has to be the most loved guy in the history of show business when other talk show guys are suggesting him for the job. The guys talked about that for a short time.
Robin read some more stories about Paul McCartney's ex-wife asking for millions in the divorce settlement, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' odd relationship, diet sugar substitutes that may be making people fat, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and more. The guys spent a bit of time talking about the Clinton Obama thing for a while.
Howard said that he knew that he was out of the music scene when he saw the artists up for Artist of the Year on last night's Grammy Awards. Robin got into some news about the Grammy's after that. She had some audio clips from the show where some of the awards were given out. She had some clips of Dave Grohl, Kanye West, Barack Obama, the Foo Fighters, Carrie Underwood, Andrea Bocelli and a few other clips that she had Howard play.
Robin read a story about a hockey game where a player slipped and cut the neck of another player. She also read a story about the Writer's Guild of America strike and how they're going to settle finally. Roy Scheider died over the weekend at the age of 75. Robin read that story and had the guys talking about him a little bit. She had some clips from the move Jaws to play as a tribute to him.
Robin read about the movie ''Fool's Gold'' being number 1 at the box office this weekend. She had some clips from that movie that they played. She talked about Heath Ledger's funeral and Brad Renfro's autopsy results before ending her news. Howard ended the show around 10:50am.
Gary said that Fred will see an e-mail later today about the Scott Greenstein thing and he'll forward it to everyone. That's kind of gossiping and Fred will claim that he's not gossiping, he's just forwarding e-mail. He said that Fred moves along a form of gossip as well. He said there's nothing wrong with that, but he does think that Fred has a weird thing with him about all of that. He said it's all good though.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Gary to go ahead and keep dressing the way he does and not take shit from people there. Gary said he is trying to dress a little nicer lately but he does like that he doesn't have to wear a suit. Artie came in and started rapping like Biggie Smalls about hoodies.
Gary said that when they were at the Knicks game the other night it was very cool to be able to sit down on the floor so close to the action. Artie said he went to a game one time and he saw Jay-Z and Lebron James talking to each other during the game. He said that they were talking back and forth about stuff while the game was going on.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Gary is right about the gossip thing and they have to do that kind of stuff. He was asking why they don't have a description on the West Coast feed like they do on the other feed. Gary said he'd have to look into that.
Artie said that the whole show is gossip and he's all about it now that he's on the show. He said that he thought he was above it but now knows he's not. Gary said that Howard is insulated from what goes on outside the studio so he has to fill him in on a lot of stuff.
Gary said that he does look around the room before he tells the gossip stories. He said that one time in the old studio he told Howard a story about Artie because he thought he wasn't in the room. It turned out that Artie was laying down in the back and he just couldn't see him. Gary said that it's his job to tell Howard if Artie goes to the vending machine 10 times in a day.
The guys saw Summer Verona out in the hall so they were all checking her out. Gary said that she's one of those chicks who is even cuter in clothes. He said that he likes to call that guy Rich ''Creepy McGee.'' Jon was creeped out by the guy and apparently didn't want to bring him into the show today.
Gary told the guys about how Stuttering John would tell him gossip stories and they'd have to get people out of the studio so they could fill Howard in. Artie said he had to get going around that time so he said goodbye to everyone. He got in a plug for his Borgata gig that he's doing this weekend.
Gary and Jon got back to Dave Navarro and played a clip from the interview that Howard did earlier in the morning where Dave was talking about not being gay. He said that he has done some gay-type of things but he's not gay. Gary said that Dave and Greg Fitzsimmons seem to be similar in that way.
Jon took a call from a woman who thinks that Dave is a tool and wondered what they thought of him. Gary said that he thinks that he's a good guy overall and he's done the show a bunch of times over the years. He said that he's really not an asshole and doesn't have that rock star attitude that some rock stars have. He said that he's really not a fag like the woman was saying he was.
Gary said that he was out in Vegas one year and ran into Dave out there. He said that he invited Dave out to Scores and Dave told him he had to check with his wife, who was Carmen Electra at the time, to see if he could go. He thought that was kind of funny.
A phone caller pointed out that the show is all about gossip and he's not sure why Fred is getting so worked up about the whole thing. Another caller said that he'd like to find out more about that intern checking out Dave Navarro for semen. Gregg Karmel said that Dave saw Erica and was riveted with her when he saw her walking around. He said he just stopped doing his interview in the middle of it when she walked by. Gary said that she wore that outfit just to get noticed and it worked.
Fred came in and tried to defend himself over the stuff they were saying about him. He said that Gary really has turned the gossiping into an art form. Gary said that it's his job though and he has to do what he does to keep Howard informed. Fred said that Gary was confusing that stuff with his passing along e-mail to Howard that people pass along to him.
Fred said that Gary gives his personal spin to some of the stuff he gossips about and that's what he's talking about. He and Gary argued about that stuff for a few minutes and Fred told Gary that he's taking it way to seriously. He said he's just goofing around with Gary on the air and that's it. Gary was taking it kind of personally.
Fred said that he didn't grow up doing that gossip thing and that's not the kind of person he is. He said that he didn't have people to goof on or gossip about when he was growing up. Jon said that this obviously gets under Gary's skin that Fred does this. Gary said that he knows he's one of the biggest gossips in the world but he doesn't like that Fred singles him out the way he does.
Benjy asked Fred about his definition of gossip and tried to figure out what he was really referring to. Fred said he was sorry that Gary got upset because he's not looking to upset anyone. He was just trying to tweak Gary a little bit and do the stuff they do on the show every day.
Fred thinks that Howard would be more comfortable with him if he did gossip more but he can't do that. Benjy asked Gary if he could talk about the people he was gossiping about when he was out for dinner. Gary said he wouldn't do that, he told Howard he didn't want to talk about that stuff for a reason.
Jon asked Fred about Dave Navarro's interview today. Fred thought he was very good today and he liked that he was in there to set things straight. Dave answered everything they threw at him with no problem.
Jon asked Gary about the Lisa G botox question. Gary said that he told Lisa to go in there and ask the question herself but she didn't want to go in there. He said that she was telling him about the Lisa Rinna lip thing and how that all works. It turns out it's kind of like a bladder that you can inflate and deflate.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they ever asked Dave about his mom getting murdered. The guys said that they did talk about that one time when he was on the show. Benjy remembered that from another interview at K-Rock. The caller said that he appreciates the show because they've helped him get through some tough times as well.
Jon asked the guys what they thought about Dave's take on the music industry. They were saying that they agree with some of what he was saying but Fred said that it seems like the music industry has abandoned itself these days.
Jon also brought up the Grammy Awards and said that he thought that they weren't that bad this year. Fred agreed with that. That led to the guys talking about Aretha Franklin and how huge she's gotten these days. They figured that she's got to be over 300 pounds. Benjy said he saw her out on the sidewalk and she was literally the size of a car. Fred said he starts to get sad when he sees her because he's afraid she's going to drop dead on the stage. Gary said that Andy Williams made him kind of sad because he's gotten so old looking these days.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Fred is gossiping when he forwards on the e-mail just like anyone else who gossips. He said that Fred is forwarding on a story that was sent to him and that's the same thing as gossiping. Fred said that's his job though. He said that he's not putting a personal spin on those stories. He said that he's never done that even though he's been accused of doing things like that by a certain stuttering intern who used to work there.
Gary said that Fred is never shocked by the mail he gets because he gets to see it before they're read on the air. He said that people were e-mailing about the Mitt Romney thing last week and a lot of people agreed with him but then there were people who bashed him for giving his opinion.
Gary said that he was getting a lot of mail about how fat he was getting and he thought that Fred was picking them out just to goof on him. He said that he went back and tried to figure out how many times Fred did that to him and found out it was only 2 months of the year, not the 14 that he thought it was.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Fred is the genius of the show. He said he's like a scorpion hiding and getting ready to strike at any moment. He said that he can sit there for an hour and not say a thing and then he'll throw in a clip and kill. The caller told him he really is the best on the show.
Gary said that anyone who listen knows that Fred has that role on the show and he really is good at what he does.
Ralph called in and talked about Jerry Lee Lewis being on the Grammy's and how awful he looked. That led to the guys talking about how crazy Jerry Lee used to be back in the old days. Fred said that he heard a story about Jerry Lee lighting his piano on fire one night that he did a show with Chuck Berry. He was trying to top Chuck because they didn't let him do the closing act.
The guys talked about some of the performances of the older people at the show and how a lot of people in the crowd wouldn't have known who some of them were. That led to Gary talking about how Ralph likes some of that old music and he loves listening to the Sinatra channel on SIRIUS. Fred said he likes that stuff too.
Ralph didn't hear the show today and wondered why Gary was getting so upset with Fred about being called a gossip. Gary said he's not, it wasn't about that. He had some other issues with what Fred was doing to him. Gary also said that Ralph is a big gossip too and he might be one of the biggest offenders.
Fred said that some people get nuts around Howard and they'll tell him anything and everything they can. They were talking about Stuttering John and how big of an offender he was in all of that. Fred said he didn't want to say anything about John because he knows John will think he hates him if he does.
Ralph said that what Fred does isn't really gossip either. He said that he's just forwarding e-mail. They spent another minute on that before Jon had to take a break.
Jon brought up Summer Verona and her father figure Rich. He asked Will where she came from. Will said that Richard had interviewed her at the AVN awards and they had to book her after they heard the interview. Gary said that the creep factor was big with them and they had to bring them both in.
Jon said that he was trying to follow the story there and he's not sure what was going on there with Rich and his girlfriend down in Brazil and all of that. Gary told him what he knew about the two of them. He was also talking about how he was watching the monitor in his office and Dave Navarro came in and saw how long he was digging around in her ass. He said that they noticed that he had his nose in there for a while too.
Will said that he's seen enough waxing to see how quickly they do it. He said that he was picking it out with his fingers instead of using paper like the professionals do. He said that he had wax all over her ass and his fingers were in there for such a long time.
The guys talked about how that guy also waxes her vagina but he wasn't doing that today. Jon played a clip where Howard was talking to Rich about the waxing thing while he had Summer on a table in the studio. Howard figured he was doing it because he's into her so much but Rich denied that.
The guys wondered if Summer knows how creepy that whole thing is or not. They said she was from Alabama so Fred said that they do have different rules down there.
A caller asked what kind of look that guy rich had on his face. Jon said that he has a look on his face like he knows what he's doing but there's something a little ''off'' with him. Fred said that's the kind of guy you don't want to see helping a little kid at a playground or something. Jon said that he was a nice guy but he just had ''that look in his eye'' like something weird was going on.
The guys talked about how Steve can't seem to make things happen in his career. Last week he was supposed to be going down to New Orleans to help build that house and then today he finds out he's not even going.
A caller told the guys he thinks that Jessica Hahn is an attention whore and that's why she called in. Gary said that he doesn't think that's the case. He said that she thinks of them as her family and that's why she was calling in today.
Fred said he agrees with Gary about that. He said that Jessica is a genuinely nice and sweet person. He said that she's been misdirected at times but she's really a good person. Gary said that Will was looking at him weird and he doesn't believe that. Will said that it is a bizarre reaction to call a radio show when you're boyfriend dies. Fred and Gary told Will that her relationship with the show is very strong and she listens day and night because she's such a fan.
Gary said that there are people who think of the show as their family. Will said that Mariann from Brooklyn is like that. Will thinks that it's kind of exploiting the whole situation. Benjy said that would be like some kid with cancer calling the show and getting on and then living... He was talking about Will.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jessica's situation was very traumatic because the guy passed away so quickly. Fred said that Jessica really loved that guy and he knew that she was going to be fucked up today from that whole thing. He said that he was a stand up guy who treated her very well and they seemed to really care about each other very much.
Will said he believes that they were very close and Jessica was really upset. He said that her coming on the air was a little odd to him. He said that they didn't hear from Jim Florentine for 3 months after his girlfriend died. He had a long grieving process while Jessica didn't. The guys talked about that for a short time before they had to wrap up the show.
Howard started off the show saying he was going to get right to it. Artie had called in sick this morning so he talked about that and then played a voice mail that he left for Gary. Artie apparently went out last night and got sick this morning. Howard said that if you press Artie with any kind of logic he gets all bummed out.
In the voice mail Artie talks about going out with some jerk off and he feels like shit. He said he didn't feel like coming in at 3 in the morning. He said that he was spraying shit all over the place so Howard and Robin wondered what that meant.
Artie apologized for doing what he was doing and said that he guarantees it was the right decision. He said he wasn't going to be in and he'd be in on Wednesday after getting some rest. Howard said it sounds like it's one of those days where he's going to sleep for 24 hours straight.
Robin wondered what ''sick'' means and if he's drunk or on something else. She doesn't think that he's really sick, he didn't even throw in that fake cough of his. That led to them playing the AC/DC song parody where they have him calling in sick and doing that fake cough of his. They also played a prank call they made using his sick voice mails. Howard said he thinks they called that guy a second time and played the next prank call to that same guy.
Howard said that they have like 500 Artie sick calls and messages. Robin said that she's not sure that they're really sick calls, drinking too much isn't being sick.
Howard said that when you work a job like this, you just can't go out. He said that's part of who you are when you work that job. The caller was saying that when people say they might not make it in, do they ever surprise him and make it in? No.
The caller also brought up Jessica Hahn and said that she contributes nothing to the show these days and he's not sure that putting her on the air was unnecessary. He asked Howard to do that on his own time instead of subjecting the fans to it. Howard said he did try calling her last night and he hopes that she got his message.
Howard said that Jessica is part of the show's fabric and he does care about her. He said that he felt comfortable doing it on the air. He said he put the word out that he wanted to talk to her so that's why she called in a second time. He said that it was a human interest thing that he was doing for the show and he wasn't going for funny.
The caller said he felt it was out of character for him to do that with Jessica. Howard said that he can take any situation and make it interesting, that's what he was going for. He said he doesn't think he's in tune with what his audience to hear on the show, he just takes stuff and tries to make it interesting.
Howard took another call from a guy who called himself ''Black'' but when Robin asked him if he's black, he said no and asked her if she's black. Not making a lot of sense. He went on to ask Howard what he thought of Beyonce on the Grammy awards. Howard said he didn't like the way she looked on the show and said that she's gained a few pounds. He asked him about Jennifer Lopez too and Howard said that she's got a lot of junk in her trunk too and she's not high on his list.
The caller said he sees where Howard is coming from and some of the Miss Howard TV women are a little too thin for him. Howard thanked Black for the call and let him go. He wasn't sure what his argument was though.
Howard said that some of the stuff, like Amy Winehouse, was very interesting. He said that she's a train wreck and he found her fascinating. He said that this guy Kanye West is very disturbing to him. He said that he's barely articulate and he's the most ungracious winner. He was very cocky and telling people that it was ''his house'' and he felt bad for anyone else who put out an album last year. He said that the guy is an asshole and should just shut the fuck up. Howard did applaud him for telling them to turn the music off when he was talking about his mother, but other than that, he thought he was an asshole.
Howard said he had a lot of stuff to get to today and it's going to be a good day to get to it. He had Kanye West's Grammy speech so he quickly played through that. Kanye was talking about his album and how great it was when they started to play him off the stage with some music. That's when he started to talk about his mother and asked them to stop with the music. Howard said that he did agree with him about that. Fred said that he was talking bullshit for the rest of his speech though. Howard said he's not sure what any of that means.
Howard said that Richard and his family trade food. His father has sent him some stuff in the mail and Richard sends stuff to them as well.
Howard said that Wendy the Retard is really mad at him. He said that she's been asking for money from them so she can buy a new xBox video game system. He said he gave her some money and she promised not to call and ask for more money but that's exactly what she's been doing with the xBox thing. He played her latest message where she's saying she found a used xBox that she's going to buy when she gets her next paycheck. Howard thought that she was upset about having to buy a used one but that message wasn't all that angry. Gary said that was the one and she's upset that she has to go to EB Games to buy a used one instead of a new, better one.
Howard said that in the paper today they claim that Barack Obama is leading Hillary Clinton in the polls. He said that he still thinks that Hillary is going to be in there but it seems like it is shifting toward Obama. Robin said that Hillary's campaign seems to be imploding at this point. Howard said that maybe she is blowing it or maybe people are just sick of the Clintons. Robin said she thinks that she could make a great President. Howard agrees but he said that her husband has brushes him off when he's seen him out a few times. He said he was at one event and Bill said hello to Jon Bon Jovi, who was right next to him, and walked right past him.
Howard said that Senator Arlen Spector wants to look into this New England Patriots cheating and why the NFL destroyed their tapes. Howard said that isn't that important, there are many other things that he should be worried about, not the NFL. He said he should be looking into why the XM/SIRIUS merger is being held up as long as it is and things like that.
A caller asked Howard about what he thinks about Microsoft trying to buy out Yahoo. Howard said that people are scared of Microsoft and he doesn't know that much about the merger. He said that it seems like they won't need government approval if they do go for the merger. He said that it wouldn't really be a gross monopoly but he really doesn't know that much about it. He finds it hard to believe that a search engine could be worth that much money. He said that it's almost like anyone else could try to start a search engine and render Yahoo worthless.
Howard said there are a lot of people out there who think that they won't vote for a black guy but there are. He said he has no problem pulling the lever for Barack. He said that when the whole thing is decided and they have McCain and Obama, or whoever, he's going to listen to the debates before he makes a final decision.
King asked Howard why Artie was saying that the guy he went out with was a jerk off. He said that Artie is putting the blame on the guy who he went out with last night instead of blaming himself. Howard said that's the way Artie does things. He blames other people for his problems.
Howard said he has friends who ask him to go out during the week but he just turns them down. He has to be to work early in the morning and he can't go out. He said that he just says no though. Artie isn't able to do that apparently.
Another caller said that he doesn't think that Howard is racist but Howard cut him off and said that he thinks he is racist. He said when he sees black guys waling down the street toward him, he does get nervous. He blamed that on growing up in the neighborhood he grew up in. Then he said that he might be afraid of everyone so maybe he's not racist.
The caller told Howard that he doesn't think that the Democrats could win the election if Barack is in. Howard said that there are a lot of people in the south who are voting for Barack to get this nomination and it seems to be proving something. The caller said he doesn't think that America is ready for a black leader. Howard said that he might be surprised. He said that he's been told his whole life that they'll never see a black or a Jew in office. He said he believes that they may never see a Jew but Barack might be able to pull it off.
The caller pointed out something that Artie said about Howard's wedding and how he didn't want to be invited. He said that he thinks that Artie really doesn't want to go. Howard and Robin said that they think he was just trying to help Howard out with his plans. They think that he'd miss it if he didn't go.
Gary came in and said that Hillary Clinton has a strange look that she gets when she's at these events she's at and that's kind of disturbing. Howard went on to say that there are a lot of guys who hate women. He said there are a lot of guys who hated their mothers because they were overly involved in their lives or they didn't pay enough attention to them. He said that there are a lot of guys who take that out on women the rest of their lives and really dislike women in general.
Howard said that there are a lot of men who aren't in touch with their issues and they continue to bash women for their whole life. Howard said that if they put a cock on Hillary, she'd have no problem at all. He said that she just needs to be a man and she'd be able to pull off the nomination. Gary said that she does seem to be cracking lately and she's just not good at interviews.
Howard said that Hillary may need a psychiatrist to calm her down and help her do those interviews. He said that she should be able to stay calm and answer questions. The guys talked about how she likes to put a spin on everything she talks about. Robin said that's what she likes the least about her.
Howard said that you have to be calm when you're asked these questions. Robin said that Barama (her new name for Barack?) is able to give a very simple answer when he's questioned while Hillary gets all bug eyed and freaks out when they ask her something simple about what she does during an ordinary day.
Howard said that it's a big thing when he's on the air and has hot chicks come in and want him. He said that he'd have to come down off of that very heady experience at home with his family. He said that it was very hard to stay level headed during all of that. He said it's still hard and he struggles with that stuff every day.
Howard said that Dave Navarro was asking him why he's getting married and he really had to sit down and think things over. He said he sat down with Beth yesterday and talked to her about it too. Howard said there's nothing like having a new chick putting her hand down your pants.
Howard said that he has this built in mechanism in him that makes him feel like he's entitled to have everything. He wants every radio listener and thinks that he deserves them all. He sees every beautiful woman out there and thinks the same thing. He said that he thinks about sticking his penis in them and doing his thing. He said that there would be no consequences and he really thinks that he could get away with doing something like that.
Robin told Howard that he should have been around during the Henry the VII era because that's the way that guy was doing things.
Howard said that he has this great thing with Beth but he knows that he could fuck things up because he has this beast within him that wants to go out and get everything he thinks he deserves. Robin said that he really has the Henry the VII syndrome.
Howard said he thinks about what he'd feel if he saw Beth with another man and he'd feel horrible. He said that she could pull it off if she wanted to get guys. He said he's seen it in action and guys come on to her all the time.
Howard said that when he was in college he was a nobody. He didn't have the big radio career and he wasn't able to pick up chicks the way his buddy Lou was. He said that he thought about how all of these women just didn't know what a great catch he was. He said he was convinced that these women were missing out on something. He said he was a pathetic asshole and that's what he was thinking to himself.
The caller said that he's 300 pounds and he thinks that he's God's gift to women too. Howard said he has a whole other set of issues then. He thanked him for the call and let him go. They went right into a Chris Rock comedy bit where he talks about how guys have to either make a commitment or keep getting new pussy. Howard said that Chris Rock should be president after hearing that.
King of All Blacks called in again and said that he thinks that Howard is under the impression that Beth is perfect. Howard said that he really doesn't know him very well. King said that people are always just talking about Beth's looks and that's not what it's all about. Howard said that the looks thing isn't want it's all about. He said that he's had plenty of good looking chicks. He said that he's never been able to commit to being in a long term relationship with other women. He said that Beth has some flaws that he sees but he's able to live with her.
Howard said that there are things in Beth's personality that he would change if he was going to create the perfect woman. He said that he'd like her to be more assertive with people working on the house and things like that. He said there are some other little things that he'd like to change like having her take care of every little thing like a mother would do.
Howard said that Beth is human too and she has to put up with his faults as well. King said that it seems like Howard has grown up but Howard said that he hasn't, but he is working on it. He said he'd like it if he was never tempted by another person in his life but that's not going to happen. Robin said that would be boring then. She said she likes every day to be a surprise to her.
King asked Howard if he's going to have any black people to his wedding. Robin and Howard both said no and then said that of course Robin would be there. King said that she's not a ''real'' black person though. Howard told him he's racist and hung up on him.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he's is still jerking off when Beth isn't around. Howard said that the last time he did it was last summer and he really doesn't have to do that anymore. He said that there are times when he does jerk off when she's away from him for any amount of time. She'll call him and ask him if he jerked off and who he thought about when he did it. He said he'll lie about it and tell her that he thought about her when he was doing it though. He said that he doesn't really think about her when he's doing that.
Howard said that he was thinking about his wedding list and Robin probably would be the only black person there. Robin said that has been her whole life. She was one of the only black kids in her Kindergarten class until she was in 3rd grade. Then there were only a couple of other black kids in class after that.
Howard asked how Robin's family could afford to live in a white neighborhood. She said that they were one of the first black families to move into a white neighborhood before it changed to a black neighborhood.
Howard said that he thinks that Robin was the only black person at her own house party. Robin said there were a couple. They were her house keeper and someone else who works for her though. She didn't have any other black friends at the party. Robin said that she's tried to make friends with other black people but they're trouble. She said that was just a joke and laughed her ass off when she said it.
Howard told Robin that she needs something like Oprah and Gayle King have. He put the word out to anyone out there who might be interested in being Robin's friend to call in and let them know. Robin said that she really has had problems with other black friends in her life. She's had people talking about her behind her back and things like that.
Howard said that when he was dating a black woman, she had a lot of black friends and they'd hang out with them sometimes. He said that sometimes he'd think that it was kind of weird because they were hanging out with him. Robin told a story about a friend of her's who wanted to see black people so he went to South Central, Los Angeles. She thought he was nuts to go there because he could easily get killed out there.
Howard asked Eric what's up and what he's doing. Eric said that he's doing shows tonight and tomorrow night on that JFSC.tv thing. Howard played some more clips of Eric saying that he wanted Simon Cowell to butt fuck him and things like that.
Howard said that you never know what you're going to get on this show. He asked him what else he was up to and played another clip of Eric saying that he wanted to get on his dad's cock. Howard told Eric he was talking crazy today. Fred threw in the Mars Attacks ''Ack, ack'' sound clips as well.
Eric said he was just calling in to promote those shows he's doing tonight and how they're going to have a Q and A show as well. He said that his co-host Gina is going to have her own show on Thursday nights too. Howard asked him what kind of questions people are asking him on the Q and A show. Eric said that it's anything that people come up with. He said that a lot of people repeat the same questions over and over again.
JD came in and said that Eric gets really angry when people keep asking the questions that he thinks are general knowledge out there. Fred said he heard that Eric gets really worked up and he's like a tyrant and bans people from the chat room he's in.
Eric said they do commentary during Scott Baio's show too. Howard said he's wondered what Eric does when he takes those long pauses on the phone. He played some more of those clips that he had made up. Eric said that they should notice that his lips aren't moving when they play those clips so it's obvious that he's not actually saying that stuff.
Ralph called in and started to do his impression of Eric. Eric asked him to hang up on Ralph. Ralph said that the show he does is just horrible. Howard let Eric say some words to Ralph but played more of those clips of him talking about getting on his father's cock and stuff. Then he played some of the made up ''Eric the...'' clips where he has him calling himself names.
Howard asked Ralph why he called in. He said he wanted to talk about Robin and how she seems to love to be the only black person in the room. He thinks that she loves being that one black person because she gets that attention.
Ralph asked Eric if he likes black people. Eric said he has some black friends. Howard thanked Ralph for the call a short time later and then wrapped up with Eric. He said he hopes his shows work out for him this week. Howard said that he likes Eric and he's told him that.
Howard said that he likes Eric and that's why he picks up the phone on him. He said that he wanted him to let people know what he'd like to be called on his show tonight and played the ''Eric the Idiot'' clip. Eric didn't think that was funny.
Howard asked Eric if it was true that he ordered some gold roses for his girlfriend. Eric said that was supposed to be a surprise. He said he ruined it for him. Robin said that was very sweet of him to do that. Gary asked Eric what he thinks she's getting for her. He said he really didn't know.
Howard asked how many he bought for her. Eric said it was just one. Howard said he's in love with this girl and he gets why he's doing that. He said he wishes that he could find Eric a real girlfriend, not one of these chicks from the internet. Howard said he's going to make that his mission in life to get her one. Ralph said that he's trying to get someone out of his league and he's not going to settle for someone who isn't hot.
Howard asked Eric if he would like a real girlfriend who really wants to be with him. Someone who can overlook his shortcomings. He asked if he'd fuck a fat chick. Eric said that he's been interested in some women who are large sized, yes. Howard said he could get him a serious girlfriend or an imaginary one like this one he's interested in now. Eric said he's going to stick with Kendra for now.
Eric said he's not going to be seeing Kendra on Valentine's day. He said that he's having the gold rose sent to her. He still thinks that they're going to be able to meet some day soon. He said they're working on a date. Robin said that he's wasting his time with that. Eric told Robin to stay out of it and drop it.
Howard said that if there are any girls out there who really are into Eric, they should contact the show. He said that the woman has to be a shut in and someone who wants to stay inside with Eric while he does his thing. Ralph said that the person has to be willing to talk to him on his computer. Howard said that's not true.
Howard said that he needs someone like a 70 year old. Eric said he gets grossed out by that and he wants someone no older than mid to late 30s. Howard said he'll look for someone out there who has a missing limb or something like that. Howard asked him if he could deal with someone who is missing a leg or something like that. Eric said he guesses he could.
Howard put the word out that they're looking for a good woman who is interested in Eric and wants to help him out, they should contact the show. Howard asked Eric if he's got any race barriers there. Eric said that he'd take just about anyone, he'd take any race. Howard asked Eric what he'd like to say to the ladies out there and played a clip of him saying ''Eric the buttfucker's penis is a lot darker than usual...'' that they created with some creative editing.
Eric said that they're wasting their time with all of this because he's got a girlfriend. Howard said that he's never seen her in person and she's never been to his apartment. Eric said that this has been going on for just a month. Howard said he thinks that he can find him a real girl who will actually meet him and hang out with him.
Eric said that this isn't an imaginary girlfriend but everyone told him that it's not a real relationship. Ralph said that he hasn't even touched her yet. That's what they're trying to find for Eric, someone who will touch him and have a real relationship with him.
Eric told Howard he's wasting his time and he's taken already. Howard said that he can't believe that Eric is delusional but Robin thinks that he is. She thinks that Eric really thinks that he's taken.
Howard asked Eric if he'd be interested in a woman who used to have a penis. He described a woman who used to be a man but she's like a 10. Eric said that he wouldn't want that. Howard said he thinks that he'd take her though.
Howard asked Eric when he thinks the deadline is for her to finally meet him. Eric said that his birthday is a month from yesterday and he'd really like to see her on that day. Howard said that if she still hasn't visited him in a year from now, would he then admit she's not his girlfriend. He said he's not sure because he doesn't think it will be that long.
Howard asked Eric what the hold up is about her coming out to visit him. Eric said that she's busy working and she can't come out. She works at a club out in Phoenix. IT's a topless club but she wears pasties. Howard said that she'd rather be there than with her boyfriend on Valentine's day.
Howard said he's going to go ahead with this search for a girlfriend. He said that they're going to find someone who has had a tough time in her life who would be willing to be with Eric. He gave Eric some plugs for the JFSC.tv shows and played some more of the ''Eric the... '' clips like Eric the Asshole, Eric the Bastard, Eric the Butt Fucker, Eric the Retard and more. Ralph got a few laughs out of that.
Ralph asked if Eric was all blotchy this morning. Howard said he was. He said he looks like Gorbachev. Ralph asked if he took Riley's advice about washing his face. Howard said that even he wouldn't take his advice, the guy sees aliens.
Eric said that no one in the chat was seeing his blotches so he didn't think he had any. Howard said he can see them though. He wrapped up after giving him some more plugs for his JFSC.tv shows.
Howard said that he thought that Little Richard was looking good on the Grammy Awards over the weekend. He said he thought that Jerry Lee Lewis looked like he was 80 something but he's not. He said that Jerry Lee is only 72 and Little Richard is 73. Robin said that he's always looked incredible. Howard said that shows how differently people can age.
Howard said that he was reading about the Grammy ratings and he thinks he knows why they were so low. He said that they're completely out of touch. He said that they had Herbie Hancock on the show and the guy has only sold 53,000 copies of his latest album which actually won a Grammy. That made everyone on the audience go ''Whoa!'' when they saw him win.
Howard said that the categories that they put together there are just all out of whack. He said that Jethro Tull won for heavy metal one year and they're not heavy metal. He went through some other notes about past shows where they gave out awards to bands that just didn't belong in the categories they won in.
Howard said that the Grammy's are so under viewed because they're so out of touch. The other shows that give out awards are more in touch with what's going on out there now.
Howard said that Natalie Cole was interviewed after the Grammy's and she was asked about Amy Winehouse winning the award. She said that she didn't think she deserved it because of her bad behavior. She thinks that they were awarding her for her bad behavior. Howard said that her behavior should have nothing to do with it, it should be based on the work.
Howard read that Charles Barkley is claiming that he lost $400,000 on the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Howard played a clip from an entertainment show where they played a clip of Barkley talking about losing the money.
Will came in and said that he'd read it for $500. Fred said that he'd still do it for 2 grand if he wanted to pay that. Harry said that he'd be willing to give that to Fred if he really did read it. Fred said that he was going to raise it up to 3 grand but he was going to keep it at 2 grand for this guy.
Fred said that he wanted the money up front and then he'd promise to read the book. Harry tried to get in a bit of the story but Howard told him he didn't really care. He said he had to let him go. Fred asked if the book is an easy read of if it's all convoluted. Benjy said that what he read wasn't that bad.
Howard said that the palm of his hand sticks out on the glove so he needs something bigger. He was also talking about how the suits he's purchased over the years never fit him either. He said nothing ever fits at all and that's why he looks awkward.
Howard said that someone was in there and wanted a picture with him. He said it was Summer Verona and he asked Jason to take a picture of them. He said that Jason took the picture and sent it to him. He said that she looked normal in the picture and he looks like Godzilla standing next to her. He said his arm looked all crooked and bent and everything to him looked awkward to him. He said he's so ugly... He told Jason not to send them the picture and just tell them that it didn't come out.
Howard said that you'll never see a picture from in the studio if you ask to have one taken with him. He said that he looks in the mirror and thinks that he looks fine. He said it looks good in the mirror but on camera he looks bad.
Howard said they had the picture of him with Summer on the screen and it really made him look awkward. Fred said that it was out of focus and the composition was bad too. Howard said his arm looks like Grandpappy Amos or something. He said that picture will never be used. Robin told him it was fine and he should send it.
Fred said that Jason might want to check his camera because of the focus thing. He also suggested that they have the shorter guests stand on a box or something. Howard told Jason to make that happen. They should get a box to stand on. Jason said he can do that no problem. He told Howard that he has to ''own his height'' and just stand up straight.
Howard tried to take a call from Dominic Barbara but his phone wasn't working very well and made it sound like he was under water. Howard hung up and said that Dominic's suit guy is great and he's going to make him some new suits that will make him look normal.
Ralph called in again so Howard asked him what he wants. Ralph said that Howard really has to stand up straight but Jason is the one who needs to be standing on a box. He said that he has to get on a stool and take the shot looking down. Howard said he's right, he does need the photographer up higher than him. He said that he should be on top of the Empire State Building.
Howard asked DePace if he's going to vote for McCain now that Romney has dropped out. Scott said he will even though he thinks the guy has some flaws. He said that he'd vote for him before he'd vote for either of the other two idiots. That led to the guys talking about all of these people trying to run for President. They were all arguing about that stuff for a couple of minutes.
Howard just wanted to know what happened to his pictures. He said that nothing is ever answered on this show. He said that this show is like ''Lost,'' they bring up stuff on the show and never answer it. He told the guys to go do some research on this stuff that they're all arguing about. Jason gave a rundown of what Barack Obama's plan is to get us out of Iraq. That all led to more arguing between Howard and Scott DePace.
Robin did some research and found out why John McCain's face was swollen. Howard said that guy is a hero no matter which way you look at that guy.
Howard said that he talked about how George W bankrupted a bunch of business and he knew that he was going to turn this country into a mess. He said he predicted that many years ago and he was right. He's now bankrupting this country.
Howard said that Bush sent people to war in a country that we didn't need to be at war with. Ralph told Scott that he's dumb so that led to those two arguing about Bush. Scott was saying that Ralph is the dumb one. The two of them went back and forth with that nonsense for a short time.
Fred said that he read that McCain said a few years back that he still ''hates the gooks'' for what they did to him. He thinks that McCain won't hesitate to nuke the country if they do something crazy some day.
Howard was talking to DePace about Bush's past history and how he bankrupted companies and hasn't done much for this country since he's been in office and he doesn't think that he's all that bright. Scott said that he was good in school and he thinks that he's much smarter than Howard thinks he is.
Howard said he had enough of this, he didn't care about that stuff, he just wants his pictures to be clear. He took a phone call after that and had a guy talking about McCain and how he wants to be involved in the Middle East and turn the war into a 100 year war. He said that the wants to keep us in the region. Howard ended up giving the guy a prize to go see Artie down at the Borgata in Atlantic City this weekend.
Howard said that there was another call that was genius. He said that this one was when Richard and Sal called an old lady and kept asking her how she's doing over and over again. Robin said she wasn't a big fan of that one but Howard played it anyway telling her to give it a second chance. In that call Richard calls this old lady and talks to her and keeps asking her how she's been and what she's been up to lately, over and over. Then Sal calls her and does the same thing. Richard called her back again and did the same thing until she hung up on him. Howard had to go to break after that.
Gary told Howard that the Howard TV guys will have her dancing in a few seconds. Robin said that she can't do anything there. She's never dancing again. They showed her dancing on the monitors and Howard said that she's going nuts. He said that she was really going at it for a short time there. Howard said that he thinks that's a result of her getting laid. He told Jimmy (Florentine) that he's doing a good job there. Fred did his Jim impression for a few seconds after that.
Howard said that he's kind of become a once a day guy with Beth. Fred said that he usually doesn't think about Robin in that way but the other day someone sent him an e-mail with Robin's bra flash screen shot and he thought about what Jim must be thinking when he has to walk away from that. He said that they have to be honored because they're like the Grand Canyon.
Fred said that Robin has other parts of her body that need attention as well though. He said that her vagina has to be attended to as well but it must be hard to pull away from those boobs. He said that a man could camp out there for days.
Howard asked Robin if Jim does spend a lot of time there. Robin said that he's commenting on something that he doesn't even know has happened. Howard asked if she's ever had any boob obsessed men with her before. She said that she's never had that. Fred said that she must know that she has that treasure there.
Howard said that she must put them on display when she goes out with Jim. She said that Howard is out of his mind. Fred said that she probably wears something that's very sheer to show off that the turkey is done. She said that she really doesn't do that because you don't want that attention all the time.
Fred said that he spends a little more time on his wife's boobs than she'd like and he admits that he's obsessed. He said that he does fun things with them and might spend too much time there. He said that he doesn't really go 20 minutes long or anything but he will reach around and take inventory when he's doing it doggy style or something like that.
Fred said that he likes the whole leading up to the act thing. He said that he likes foreplay with the sex. He also said that dropping the load is the best of the experience but he likes the rest of it as well.
Howard said that Bob was living in his wife's basement for a few years. Even after he got engaged he was living in the basement. Bob said that she packed his shit and told him to get out when she found out he was engaged. Bob said he was happy with this girl and he probably should have waited.
Bob said that he had a Florida room in his wife's house and it was a really nice place. He said that it was the room that led out to the pool in the back of the house.
Howard asked bob if he was still married when he got engaged. Bob said that he'd been divorced for like 4 years. Christine told Howard that she and Bob had been talking for about 6 months online before they actually met. She met him at a show out in Ohio where she lived and that's when they started seeing each other.
Christine said that Bob came with a lot of baggage. She had been married herself but she's been divorced for a while as well. She told Howard that she's been working with families of Alzheimer's victims and helps place them. She said that it's a very rewarding job.
Howard said that Christine seems like a really great person. Bob said that they talked for about a year and a half before they got really serious.
Howard said that Bob doesn't know much about Christine. He had 7 questions about her and wondered if she'd call off the wedding if he didn't know. She said that she wouldn't do that because she knows what she's getting into. She said that she knows that Bob is all about Bob but she doesn't need that attention from him.
Howard told Christine that she can't answer these questions, otherwise she has to get naked. Here are the questions and answers:
Howard asked Bob to spell out Christine's name. He spelled it 3 different ways and missed one letter by the final try. Howard thought that was odd that he can't even spell her last name. Bob said that it doesn't really matter. She's going to have his last name eventually.
Howard said that his girlfriend has the hardest last name to spell in the world but he learned it pretty quick. He spelled it and said it really isn't easy to spell.
Howard asked bob if he's really asked Christine to get implants. Christine said that he's just joking. Sal came in and said that Christine came into his office and said that she was pissed that he was looking for her to get implants. Bob said that he's just joking around and he doesn't want them big. He likes them the way they are. Christine said she's only 100 pounds and she'd look ridiculous with bigger ones. Bob said that he's asked her to do threesomes too.
Howard congratulated the two of them on their relationship and wished them luck. He said that Bob has been living in a basement for a long time now. Robin said that this is the first time he's come out into the sun in a long time. Bob said that he had to ask her what those things covering the windows were in their apartment.
Howard gave Bob some plugs for some upcoming shows he had coming up. You can find out more about where he's appearing at RevBobLevy.com.
Howard brought up Bob's addictions to prescription drugs. He was on Xanax for a while and said that kind of made him nuts. Howard asked Bob why he took 6 of them from Sal the other day. Bob said that he didn't take them all. Howard asked Christine if she's worried about that. She said that he does have an addictive personality so she knows what she's getting into. She said that he was drinking and doing coke for a while there and she's seen it all.
Christine said that the guys actually like it when she comes out on the road with him because he's much calmer. Howard asked Christine how many guys she's been with. Bob said that he knows that number and said it was about 15. She said she'd go with that number.
Howard asked Christine about their sex life. Bob said that he can get her off with his tongue. He said that he can lick her down there and get her off after playing with her tits a little bit. She also likes when he pulls her hair. He said that he won't stop until he's done either. He said that it takes about 20 minutes before he's done. She said that it's not that long, it's more like 10.
The guys talked about the problems that Bob has had with some of the people there. Gary thought that Bob was angry with him but Bob said that Gary has never turned him down to come on the show so he has no problem with him.
Bob said that he and Shuli and some of the other guys from Miserable Men did a 4 hour show last night. Jim Florentine hasn't been on Miserable Men lately so they have Al Rosenberg sitting in. Bob said that he's also doing a lot of stuff with Kidd Chris down in Philly lately. The Miserable Men guys are going to be filling in for Scott Ferrall tonight like they did last night.
Bob said that Christine's pussy is always clean and it's like stamped Grade A meat down there. He said it's always clean and it's never like bad pussy.
Howard wished Bob luck with the marriage. Bob said that Howard made a lot of sense when he told him not to rush into this marriage thing. He said that they are getting along great and he thinks that they should get married, they're just going to take their time with it. Howard gave him some more plugs for the upcoming shows he has out in Seattle this Friday at the El Corizone and a couple of other places. Check out his site, RevBobLevy.com, to see when he'll be in your area. Howard went to break a short time later.
Fred said that Jimi was the best. He said that Eddie Van Halen has tried to down play him before but he really was the best out there. Fred said that someone was playing a clip of one of Jimi's performances that he hadn't heard one time and he didn't realize it was a live performance until the end when he heard applause.
Howard said that he came close to seeing Jimi at the Fillmore East one time and his friend Andrea didn't bring him. He said that he remembers who she went with and it would have meant the world to him if she had brought him with her. He said that she never loved him though.
Howard said he was reading about one of these Super Delegates who is a 21 year old college student. He said the kid has never voted before but he's one of these Super Delegates and he's not sure why. He read that Chelsea Clinton went out to breakfast with him the other morning. Bill Clinton has apparently called him on his cell phone before the primaries. Robin said that it sounds like they're not going to give up on Hillary's campaign and they're doing what they can to keep her in there.
Howard read an article about this guy and what's been happening with him lately. He's gotten calls from people like John Kerry and people like that. Gary said that they've tried to get in touch with the kid to ask him to ask these people to get the satellite merger to go through. Gary said that they tried e-mailing his parents since that's the contact info the got for him.
Howard said that this kid has the power of about 10,000 votes when he goes in to place his vote. He said that's pretty amazing. Robin said she has to look into that and figure out how she can become one.
Ronnie came in and said that he didn't even drink there at the club so he didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said that he had it on tape that he was ordering drinks and stuff. Ronnie said that he wasn't asking for shots, it was Lonnie who was asking for them.
Howard played the audio of Ronnie talking about how there were no shots there and how disappointing it was. Then he went off on JD for coming in and laughing. Ronnie said that JD was drunk and acting up when he got out of the elevator.
Howard said that he heard that Ronnie was the one asking for the shots and he was yelling at JD for something so little. The guys were joking that Ronnie should be called Rickety-man instead of Rickyman. Ronnie got all pissed about that and blamed the name on Brian Phelan.
Howard said that Ronnie also told JD to get a hair cut and JD actually went out and did it. Ronnie said that he was just joking and if he's stupid enough to do that, that's fine.
Howard played another clip of Ronnie laying on a couch at the club with a couple of girls there. That led to Ronnie saying that Mike Gange was directing him there. Gange said that he wasn't directing him, he just told Ronnie to get a dance and that's what happened.
Howard replayed the clip and Ronnie did sound kind of creepy telling the girls what to do. Howard got back into it with Ronnie and said that he was very demanding that night. He had another clip of Ronnie giving a speech there at the club. He said that something went wrong there. Ronnie said he was just going out to say hello. Ronnie said that he was just asked to say hello and be nice up there. That's all he did. Howard told Ronnie he could go after that.
Howard asked Ben if he feels the Super Delegate selection is a good thing for the Democratic party, and why. Ben gave him a quick answer and then Howard asked him some more ''Do you feel...'' questions like his father did to him when he was a kid. He was doing an impression of his father asking him the questions the way he did on those old family tapes that he's played on the show.
Ben was answering the questions seriously and not joking around like Howard did when he was a kid. Howard asked if anyone had any questions for his father while he was still on the phone. No one did.
Howard asked Ben who he's going to be voting for. He said that you never know what you're going to get until the person is in office. Howard asked him a few more questions about what he thought about the people running and stuff like that. Howard stayed in that voice of his and kept asking Ben questions that way.
Ben said that he voted for McCain in the primaries and Howard's mother voted for Hillary Clinton. Howard and Robin wondered how Ben could back this guy McCain in this election. Ben said that everything we hear now is all campaign rhetoric and it won't be the same once the person gets into office.
Howard let his father go after goofing on him a little more about the way he used to ask him questions. Even after Ben was off the phone Howard was still goofing on him. They played some of the old clips of his father doing his ''proper modulation'' recording and things like that.
Fred played another clip where Ben asks Howard about religious services and why children should attend them. Howard answers saying that if you want to be religious you should go and stumbles over his comments trying to get something out. Ben asks Ellen about what she thinks about sports in school and she talks about how great football is for the schools. Then he asks ''Do you feel that the United States should remain in the United Nations?'' That's when Howard pulls out a comment about not wanting the Japs anymore and then makes a machine gun sound.
Ben asks the kids about some other political stuff and poor Howard has no idea what to say. Even Ellen barely knows what to say so Ben corrects them about what they were commenting on and then replays the tape so they can hear it again. Howard said that his father was the smartest guy in the room of course and he made sure they knew it.
Howard went back into the impression of his father and talked as if he was back in those days talking to the kids. He was talking about how he was the one in the family who got to fuck their mother. He had some fun goofing around with that for a few minutes.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she had to correct his dad. Howard told her to take that up with him. She went on to say that the Super Delegate program has only been in effect since 1980, not 1968 like he said. Fred said he was reading about it online and they said it was 1968. She said that they didn't put it into effect until 1980 though. Fred said that she was right after reading into it more. He told her she was right in his Ben Stern voice.
Robin said that she still didn't get how the 21 year old got into the program. Howard said that his father should know about that. He said that they may have finally stumped him. He said that his father reads the NY Times from cover to cover every single day. He said he's very informed because of that.
Howard continued to goof on his father's voice but then he said that he's like 86 years old and still has the ability to retain all of that information. He said that he's really sharp even at 86. They played Ben Stern's Proper Modulation song parody that they created using some of those old tapes of him speaking when Howard was like 7 years old.
Howard played prank call they made to a call in show using clips of Ben talking about politics and abortion. They had the hosts all confused. They used some clips of Howard's mother as well and got them even more confused.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that Howard's father still goes to the horse races and still bets on the races. He goes there, has a sandwich and then goes home after the first race. Howard said that Beth saw him make his sardine sandwich the other day. He takes two pieces of frozen white bread, pours a can of sardines on there and lets the oil soak into it while it defrosts. He said he does that every other day and alternates between that and salmon.
Howard goofed on Dominic's gargling voice a little bit and then let him go. Howard said that his father isn't 87 like Dominic said, he thinks that he's 86. Howard said he'd like to live to 100 and he wants to outlive Beth because she still thinks that he's going to leave her at some point. He said that he's healthier than she is and he will outlive her. He said that she's out when she turns 82 though. He said there's no way he's going to be dating an 82 year old when he's 100. He had to go to break after that.
Howard wondered if his father would say that President Bush is stupid. The guys all said that they don't think that he'd come right out and say that. Howard figured that he'd say that he isn't all that bright.
Howard got his father back on the phone and asked him the question. He asked him if he thinks that Bush is stupid. Ben said he didn't want to use that word, but he said that he is ineffectual. He said that he really can't make decisions and he's gotten a lot of people in trouble because of the things he's done.
Ben told Howard that on 9/11 Bush did something kind of stupid by sitting there and reading to the children in a class even though he had just been informed that we were under attack. He said that he was the governor of Texas and they managed to get him through that job with some luck. Then he got the nomination that led to him getting put in office. Ben thinks that Ralph Nader was partly to blame for getting Bush into office.
Howard told Ben that they just had a call from a woman who said that he'd make a great President. Ben said he'd take that under advisement and think about it. He also said that he's only 84 right now, he's turning 85 this summer. Howard said that it was Dominic who said he was 87.
Scott DePace came in and asked Ben how he thinks that Bush would do on an IQ test. Ben said he just doesn't think that he's in control of the country. He said that he's not saying that Bush is stupid, he'd just ineffective. Ben said that he wasn't very successful in business and being governor of Texas wasn't such a great feat.
Howard let his father go but he had more questions about his sardine sandwich and if he'd ever mix that with the salmon. The guys spent a few minutes talking about Ben and Ray and the stuff they eat. Howard said that they eat frozen yogurt thinking that it's good for them even though it's like ice cream.
Steve said that they have a story about Ed Torian appearing in a movie playing himself. They have a story about a t-shirt company that was using terms from the show but they've pulled it and apologized to the show for doing that. Steve said that they'll also have a story about Jim Florentine and why he's not on Miserable Men lately. Steve got in some plugs for Riley Martin and Jackie Martling's shows that air tonight at Midnight at 7pm.
Fred played a couple of song parodies about Jim Florentine and Howard talked about how much he seems to have changed a lot for Robin. Robin said that he doesn't even know Jim and he's making assumptions about him. He wanted to know what it's like for Robin to be so loved. She said that he's supposing something there.
Howard asked Robin if she feels loved by Jimmy. She wouldn't answer and said that she loves Howard. She kept avoiding the answer and would just say ''I don't know'' when he'd ask her questions.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview after that. He said they'll be talking about Artie calling out sick again today. They'll also talk about Bob Levy and his fiancé coming in and a bunch of other things that went on this morning.
Howard noticed a lump on Jon's head so he asked what that was. Jon said that it was a pimple gone wrong. He said that it reminds him that he's still young. Howard said he couldn't miss it there on his forehead.
Howard gave Lisa Lampanelli a plug for a Carnegie Hall show she's doing on May 17th and then had Robin get into her news. Robin started off with a story about a guy who liked getting tied up and left in bed alone with his dominatrix. He almost died because he had started choking when he slipped out of one of his shoes and the thing around his neck choked him.
Howard said that he found out that he hadn't jerked off since July 23, 2007. The guys in the back must have given him a note about that.
Robin read through some more stories and had one about a baby that was found after a tornado in Tennessee. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard said he has to get Lisa G in there tomorrow because they have a guy who wants to date Lisa G. He said that the guy is a male escort so he can't show his face on TV.
Robin said that they're due for a big snow fall starting this evening. Howard let her go through that story and then read through some e-mail that he got about Jessica Hahn's calls yesterday. He said that some people felt bad for her but other's were kind of mean to her. He read through some of the mean ones and one guy said that she should only be allowed to call in when she loses a loved one. There was some feedback about Dave Navarro's interview as well. A lot of people liked that interview. There were a few who didn't like Dave at all. There was some feedback about Summer Verona's visit too. He read through some of that and said that quite a few people were creeped out by that whole thing. Howard said that episode will be on Howard TV tonight.
Robin got back into her news and read some stories about John Rocker coming out and talking about steroid use. She read about the funeral for Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. She had a story about Britney Spears going out on tour soon. She also had a story about how Blu-Ray is winning the HD disc war over HD-DVD.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she was at Scott Greenstein's bar mitzvah and saw Howard and Beth there. She said that she saw the costs that they were talking about on his web site. She said she worked the bar mitzvah as a dancer and she's never been stiffed on a tip before, until that party. Howard said that he has to defend Scott there because he thought the party planner was supposed to take care of that. Howard said he didn't know that you're supposed to tip the dancers.
Jason came in a short time later and said that he worked bar mitzvahs when he was growing up and always got tips. The woman on the phone said that she has gotten tips from some families that can't even afford to throw the parties and she wants to give the tips back but they make her keep it. Jon Hein came in and said that he tipped everyone at his daughter's bat mitzvah. Howard said that he didn't have a party planner like Scott did though. Howard said that the party planner probably should have taken care of that.
The woman on the phone said she thinks that Scott went up to the party planner and the planner asked him if he had any money for tips, and he said he didn't. She said that she wasn't there to put Scott down but Howard said that she really was. He spent a minute with her and then let her go. Robin said that's why you don't want to hold parties like that, they always come back to bite you in the ass. Howard had to go to break a short time later, around 10:55am.
After the break Robin got back into some news about baseball players using performance enhancing drugs. She read a story about the writer's strike being over. She talked about when some of the shows might be expected to return. Robin also talked about Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin considering adopting an orphan from New York. Howard thought that was kind of cool. He figured they were going to go to the same country that Angelina Jolie went to to get her kids.
Robin said that there are about 303 million people in this country and by 2050 there should be 438 million. Howard said that's because of the illegal immigrants who are coming into the country. Robin read a story about Heather Mills and the money she's trying to get from Paul McCartney. Howard wrapped up the show after that, around 11:05am.
Gary was also saying that Artie was kind of blaming other people for his problem. teddy said that he spoke to Artie at around 8pm and he was fine. He said that he thought that he was just hung over and that's why he wasn't coming in. The guys talked about Artie's comment about ''spraying shit all over the place'' and how it may have meant that he had a cough or something.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if he's going to defend Artie today. Gary said that everyone there is held to a different standard there. Artie has his own level there and everyone else is at their own level. He said that this should lead to Artie having some stories tomorrow when (if) he comes back. Gary said that Artie will be honest about that stuff too.
Benjy said that Howard has said that everyone is held to the same standard on lateness and that's kind of what pisses him off about the stuff that Howard says on the show.
Jon played a clip of Howard and Robin talking about Artie calling in sick and discussing why they think he wasn't there. Gary said that he was told that Patton Oswalt was on Greg Fitzsimmons show last night talking about Artie and how he thinks that he's testing them to see what he can get away with to see what it'll take to get fired.
Jon said that he thinks that Artie got some money from his bookie last night and went out to party last night. Bob Levy was sitting in and said that Artie called the Miserable Men show from about 9-9:30 (actually about 9:45-10:15) and he's not sure what he did after that.
A phone caller said that he thinks that Artie was getting ready to go out and party when he left that message for Gary. Gary said that Artie hates it when people say he's doing drugs when there's no proof of that. Jon said that Artie was giving Gary a head's up about it and there's nothing that made it seem like he was going to be doing anything strange.
Another caller said that this is all a bunch of shit and Artie shouldn't be allowed to get away with this kind of thing. The caller said that last night Artie told the Miserable Men show that he had just picked up some money from his bookie so maybe he went out and partied with it and maybe he's going to do this every time he gets money from his bookie.
The guys were talking about the theory that Artie is trying to get fired by doing stuff like this. Gary said that everyone has commented about Artie and how good of a mood he's been in lately. Bob said that Artie goes through moods and he is lonely sometimes but he has been in a good mood lately. He said that he doesn't think he wants to get fired.
Another caller said that Artie should be allowed to do whatever he wants because he thinks that Artie is a major reason that so many people listen to the show. Gary asked the guy if he thinks that they'd lose those millions of fans if something happened to Artie and he left the show. The guy said that it all depends on who fills his seat.
Gary said that it would be weird if something did happen to Artie and they put Jim Florentine in that seat for a few months. He said that would be odd for Jim to have to write jokes for Robin. Gary said that this is going to be awkward with Jim coming in no matter what because of how far they've gone with their relationship so far.
Another caller said that he thinks that Artie just got mixed up with someone last night and started drinking and maybe he did some train tracks or something. Gary said that he didn't know what train tracks were so the guys told him that it was blow.
Benjy asked what Gary thinks would happen if they were going to end the show at the end of the contract. Gary thinks that Artie would be fine if they ended the show. Benjy said he thinks that he'd love it if the show ended. Gary said that Artie seems to be in a place where he's digging the show. Jon said that he does say that he loves the show but Gary said they heard that from Jackie too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that this is a big ploy to get the audience to listen tomorrow morning to find out what happened to Artie. Gary said they don't do that kind of stuff there. He said that there might be some people who would want to tune in after the 4th or 5th day but not after just one day being sick.
Sal said that Bob is doing much better now that he's on the pills that he's on. He said that even though Bob was calling him stupid earlier this morning.
Bob talked about how great it is to have his fiancé with him. Gary said he liked the old Bob who was nuts. Bob said that he'll get back to being nuts once he starts drinking again. Christine was there too so she talked about how she met Bob and really didn't know him as a comedian before she met him. She said that she doesn't care that he does the blue cheese thing on stage. She said that he's happy when he's on stage so she would never try to change things like that. She doesn't think she could make him as happy as he is when he's up on stage.
Sal said that Christine can make Bob very happy and he's heard her doing that when he walks past their hotel room.
Jon played a clip from Bob's interview earlier in the morning where he didn't know Christine's eye color. Bob ended up blaming not knowing because he works until night and doesn't see her eye color when it's dark in the room. Benjy said that hazel isn't a color that you really say when you're a guy anyway so he wouldn't expect Bob to say that.
Jon asked Bob if his mind was messed with when he didn't get to sit in for the news today. Bob said that he really just sits in on the show and talks to people like he's there in Howard's apartment or something. Bob said that he'd prefer to sit in the back and just write stuff with Artie in the back though. He said that it kind of sucks when Artie isn't there.
Ralph called in and asked if Bob's girlfriend is hot enough to make up for that annoying accent she has. She has a Cleveland accent and a high pitched voice that Ralph picked up on. He asked Bob if he can really take that and not get sick of it. Bob said he's half deaf already so it doesn't matter to him.
Bob said that he's going to get married some day but they don't have any plans at this point. Benjy asked Christine if she expects Bob to tell her if he's being faithful or not. She said that she doesn't expect it and she trusts him to be faithful. She said that if he does get a blow job or something then he's out. She said that she doesn't have any weird rules for what constitutes sex. She said that if he eats the blue cheese up on stage, that's fine. If he takes one back to his room and gets a blow job from her, that's not going to work.
Jon asked Christine if she's involved in Bob's career. She said that she's really not. Bob said that she's not going to ruin his career like Yucko's girl is. He said he was just kidding and he thinks that it's a good thing that he's got her to guide him a little bit. He said that he's not a good businessman himself and she's helping him out. He said he's a bit of a pussy without his make up on.
Jon asked Bob what's going on with Jim on the Miserable Men show. He asked if he thinks that's got to do with Robin or something else. Bob said it's about the money. He said that they're not getting paid yet and that's why he's not doing the show. He said that it could be his management too but he's not sure about that.
Gary said that he thinks that Jim and Robin's relationship could go two ways, marriage or badly. The guys spent a short time talking about that relationship and how odd it all seems. The guys said that they never would have expected Robin to go out with someone like that. Gary said that when Jim's girlfriend committed suicide, it really changed Jim. It changed him into the guy that Robin likes.
Gary said that he has no clue about the dynamic of their relationship. Bob said that he thinks that they're both equally happy with each other at this point. Sal compared them to the Willis' on The Jefferson's.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Bob Levy has a strange affectation to his voice and it sounds like maybe he's but something up his nose. Bob said that he was up late last night doing a 4 hour show and this morning doing another show. He's just tired.
Benjy said that he knew that Fred did tittie fuck her but he can't say how he knows. Gary said that's just Benjy's odd brand of humor. They ended up goofing on Benjy's hat for a minute and told him he looked kind of retarded with that hat on.
Jon brought up the argumentum that Scott and Jason got into about the picture that Jason took that came out kind of blurry. Gary said that Howard has his picture taken a lot and he has to approve anything they send out. He rarely sees a good one of himself. He said that Howard sees things in pictures that no one else notices. Jason said that Howard is never happy. He said that sometimes he's less not happy than others though.
Jason said that he went in to talk to Scott about the blurry picture and if a higher resolution one would have been better. That's when DePace ended up yelling at him about how he should know more about that kind of stuff. He said that Scott just snapped at him and he snapped back. They kept it pretty level headed on the show today though. Jason said that he'd like to improve the quality of the stuff they put on the TV screen but Scott apparently can't handle that kind of discussion.
Jon asked Benjy about the author who called in about his book and the $300 that he was going to give Benjy. Benjy said that he tried to read the book and just couldn't get through it. He also heard that Fred is going to get an edited version to read.
Scott DePace came in and said that he told Jason that he was dumb for not knowing about the resolution for the pictures he sends to him. He said that he should know about that stuff. Gary said that the funny part is that Scott gets upset and Jason just remains cool the whole time. No one understood why Jason got to Scott the way he did. Scott said that Jason keeps doing stuff to him that pisses him off, that's why he gets angry.
Jason said that he asked Scott what he could do to make things better and Scott went off on him. Scott said that Jason was belittling his job and that's why he shot back at him the way he did.
Jason and Scott went back and forth about all of that stuff for a short time. Jason was remaining pretty calm but Scott seemed very irritated with Jason as he always is.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he had a comment about Howard and his pictures. He said that he seems to be acting like Eric the Asshole and maybe Howard should just sit down and take pictures instead of having people sand on something or look awkward when they're standing next to him. Gary said that he thinks it would look awkward if he was sitting down.
Scott was telling Jason that he should take more time when he takes pictures of Howard and maybe fix things in Photoshop. Jason said that he has Photoshop but Howard is always noticing every little thing in there that he doesn't like about himself. Scott told Jason that he could do some touching up but Jason said he has a lot of stuff to do all day long.
A caller told Jason that it's his job to take pictures and he should just go better. He said he should take a class or something and get better at it. Jason told the guy that he has inspired him and he will do that. He was being a little sarcastic when he said that though.
A caller asked Bob how he met Christine and he went through a quick explanation about how the met online and then out in Cleveland.
Jon took one more call from a guy who asked if they think that Artie is gay and that's why he's such a gay basher and he doesn't really go out with hot chicks. He mentioned that Dana wasn't all that hot but the guys all said that she really is. The guys said that he's not gay. They had to wrap up a short time later.
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Howard started off the show saying he was happy to be there at SIRIUS satellite radio. He went right to the phones after that. The caller said that he had a question for Artie but Artie was out again today. Howard said that he thinks Artie must have meningitis or something. He said that this time they got an e-mail from Teddy, Artie's assistant.
Howard said that he didn't have the e-mail there, it was a simple one that said he wasn't going to be there. He said that Artie is held to a different standard than everyone else and he doesn't want to get rid of him. He said that he has an arrangement with him that says he can come in when he can come in. Robin said it's a little more than that though. He's supposed to take off for other jobs, not just come in when he wants to.
Howard said that of course Artie is sick, he's 300 pounds and he doesn't eat well. He said that he probably wakes up sick every day. Howard said that it is a bummer when he doesn't come in but what can they do. The caller thought that Artie was kind of chuckling when he called in sick yesterday. Howard said they could play it again to hear that.
Howard played the clip of Artie calling in after Gary found it for him. In the message Artie was sounding like he might have been putting on that sick voice of his but no coughing this time. Artie said he had gone out with some jerk-off and he wasn't going to be able to make it in. He said he felt like shit and then kind of chuckled. The caller was right about the chuckle. Artie said that he's sure that Howard would be pissed if he came in the way he was.
The caller asked Howard to play some Jackie laughs during Robin's news. Fred said that he'd do that for him today. They'll play those when Robin reads some tragic news stories. Howard demonstrated what that would be like and made up some fake stories for Fred to throw the laughs in on.
The caller said there was a clip of a cop tipping over a guy in a wheelchair after she pulled him over. That led to some more Jackie laughs while they were discussing that story.
Fred said that he's not sure if this is some kind of recognition or anything but he is going to have some fun. They do it live too so he'll have to behave himself. He said that it's on the 26th and they're going to do two songs that he's written. He said that he's not sure if they're going to have anyone else on the show or not.
The caller asked if Fred was being more chatty yesterday because Artie was out. Fred said that wasn't the case. He said that he knows that there are some people who don't like hearing him talk so much so he's got to watch out for that.
The caller thought that he had missed some prank call that Riley had done to Fred but Fred told him he had it wrong and it was during the show that they played some Riley clips that he ended up arguing with.
Fred said he'll be performing his song ''Breakdown'' and ''Don't Talk Down to Me'' on that show he's doing. He said that the song ''Don't Talk Down To Me'' was inspired by the show but it wasn't really about Howard. Howard seemed to think that it was about him.
Howard said that they have Eric on with a couple of other people and Eric is the only one you can't understand. Howard said that he'd fire that tech guy they have because he can't be heard. Eric said that the tech guy has heard problems with Howard's show too. Robin told him that he should be worried about his own show, not theirs.
Howard played a clip of Eric's show and his voice was a bit muffled and hard to understand. The feed was getting a little bit choppy for Eric but the tech guy's audio came through just fine.
Howard had some new audio clips of Eric that the guys created using some creative editing. Howard had a couple where they had Eric saying that he likes to suck cock and things like that. Howard said they were just teasing him with that stuff though.
Howard said that this show is supposed to be Eric's show but he's the only one who is coming across as muffled. He said that they're not doctoring those clips and he is muffled. Howard swore to Eric that they weren't doing anything. Eric said that from now on he wants to be the one who sends them the clips. JD laughed and said he'd prefer that so he doesn't have to listen to the show.
Howard played more of the show and there was a lot of static and more of Eric's muffled voice. They asked Eric what he said at one point and even Eric didn't know what he had said. Howard told Eric they have to get that worked out, it's just not right.
Howard played some of the show where the tech guy was speaking and he was coming through perfectly clear. He told Eric that it's a problem. Eric didn't seem to think there was a problem though.
Howard said that he had a clip of Eric being asked about his life and at one point he says he's not going to leave his girlfriend Kendra. JD said that the whole show is like that with Eric answering questions over and over again. When Eric was asked about Howard finding him a girlfriend, he said he's not interested in that.
Howard said that he's been thinking about this girl Kendra and how she's really the meanest person in the world for treating Eric the way she does. Howard started to talk about that but Eric told him that he didn't care what his feelings were and told him to go to hell as he hung up.
Howard said he wants to put Kendra on a lie detector and ask her if she's really into Eric. If she's not, it's the meanest thing in the world to do to him. He thinks that if she was really into him, she'd be right out there to meet him. He said that if Johnny Depp asked her to come out and see him, she'd be right there. Robin said that Kendra is able to fly out to do Johnny Fratto's show at any moment.
Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel wanted to fly Kendra out there to get the two of them together. He said he got an e-mail from him and read that. He also said that he likes the new Rickyman thing that Ronnie the Limo Driver is doing. Howard said that Ronnie's powers have increased since he became Rickyman and they may have to have a battle between Fartman and Rickyman.
Howard asked Robin if she wanted to hear more of Eric's show. Gary said that he got a note from Eric saying that he was supposed to go visit Kendra this weekend but his roommate wasn't able to drive him out there. Howard said that he really likes Eric and he would like to help him get a girlfriend but he doesn't believe that Kendra is into him. He said he'd like to see the two of them get together but he doesn't think anything is going to happen. Robin said that she thinks that Kendra will kiss him on the cheek or something and that's going to be it.
JD told Howard that the clip he had of Eric talking about Kendra was okay to play but most of the stuff was boring. Howard finished the clip of Eric talking about Howard finding him a girlfriend. He said he doesn't want that and he has no intention of leaving Kendra.
Gary came in and said that he was about to do something very wrong. He said that Eric is sending Kendra one of those gold roses and he got a copy of what he was sending. He said that he knows that it's real. Howard said that was personal and he couldn't do that. Gary read the note and it said something about how the rose symbolized his heart is pure. Eric said that was the message and he's not sure how they got it.
Eric said that he had just woken up when he ordered the flower so that's why it wasn't that clear. Howard played some more of those clips of Eric saying stuff he didn't actually say. Eric said that he was thinking about what to say but he had to do it quick.
Howard and the guys told Eric he could have come up with something better. Eric was starting to breathe heavy and said he was getting pissed at him. Howard said that he doesn't know Kendra very well but actions speak louder than words. Howard said that Kendra would visit him if she was a good person. Howard told him that if he was Brad Pitt, she'd be right out there.
Eric said that it's timing and money and that's why she's not visiting him. Howard told him that Jimmy Kimmel would pay for the visit. Eric said that he wants them to stay out of all of this and he doesn't want Steve Langford or the Howard TV crew out there. Howard said that he won't send either and it'll just be the two of them.
Howard told Eric that he'd do whatever it took to get the two of them together. Eric said that he'd like her to come out and see him at his house. Howard said he'd talk to Jimmy about that but he thinks that Kendra is going to find some way not to visit.
Howard told Eric that a real girlfriend would find a way to get to him. He said that he's not saying it to be mean, he's trying to help him out and be nice. He said he just wants to make sure he's not being used. Eric said that he's not! He said that Johnny (Fratto) wouldn't allow that to happen to him. Howard said he's not sure that Johnny has any control over that. Eric told Robin that she needs a foot up her ass after she said something about all of that.
Eric said that he wanted Robin to keep her cackling ass out of all of this. She asked him if he's going to apologize when they find out that this was all a scam. Howard threw in some more of those fake clips of Eric and Fred played some of the Mars Attacks ''Ack, ack'' sound clips as well.
Robin asked Eric if they could find him a girl in his area who would see him every day, would he reject her to keep Kendra. Eric said ''Exactly!''
Eric was getting all worked up again and breathing heavy. Howard asked him to stop with that. Howard said he really does care about Eric and he's just trying to help. Eric told him to just stay out of all of this stuff. Howard said that Kendra doesn't even know what Eric is like or what it's like to be in a room with him. She doesn't know him very well.
Howard asked Eric if they ever have any sex talk or anything like that. Eric said that they don't really do that, the most he's ever said is that he'd like to hug or kiss her. Howard told Eric he was going to wrap up with him but Eric said that the reason his show sounds so bad is because he needs a new microphone. Howard told him he should get one then.
Howard said that he wants to get this thing going with Eric and Kendra. Eric said that he had a full plan with her this weekend but his roommate had to work this weekend. Howard said he could have flown Ralph out there to help him out if he could have.
Howard said he had Kendra on the phone but it was actually Richard Christy pretending to be her. He said that he's booked up for about 3 years now and maybe he could see him when hell freezes over. Eric got really pissed and told Richard to get off the phone. Eric told him to get off the damn phone and called him a hick.
Ralph called in and did his impression of Eric. He did his ''Ehhh'' sound and breathed into the phone. Ralph told Eric he really does love him and he thinks he should rewrite that note of his. He gave him a suggestion and said ''Roses are read, violets are blue, hey bitch, come visit me...'' Howard told him that wasn't funny. Eric agreed.
Howard said that Eric is going to be doing another show tonight where he reviews American Idol. Eric said that he had a couple of things to say. He said that he's had two Tuesday's in a row now where he's had a bad day thanks to Howard. Kendra is able to turn that right around for him. He said hello to some people who he had in his chat room last night. Howard cut him off and said he had to move on. He played another clip of Eric saying things that he didn't actually say.
Eric said that he had to say hi to someone else who was in his chat room but Howard cut him off and told him to save it for his own show. Eric said hello to that guy but Howard had to ask him to stop. He said that he'd really like to help him find a girl or at least get this Kendra out to visit him. Eric said he's not suspicious of her at all like Howard is.
A caller asked if Eric would be willing to fly with balloons if he fins out that this whole Kendra thing is a fake. Howard said he'd ask him about that next time he calls in. The caller was also asking Fred about some of the sex talk he had yesterday and asked about tittie fucking. They spent a minute on that.
Howard said that Bubba is working two jobs now to make good money and they just aren't paying him enough there at SIRIUS. He said they talked about that and some other stuff. They just had a good conversation in general. He said that they're doing a morning show, taking a nap and then getting back on the air and doing another 4 hour show in the afternoon.
Howard took another call from Wolfie who asked Fred who he thinks is his closest friend. Fred said it would probably be Howard and Robin, he wasn't able to pick just one. Howard said that was surprising because Fred hasn't really said much to him in the past 7 years. Fred said that it's probably Robin then. Robin said that she sees him talking to Jon Hein a lot. Fred said that's a new friend of his. Howard said he had a good conversation with Fred back in 1999 or so. That was about 10 minutes long.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said he wanted to talk to Eric. Howard told Jeff he wasn't on and he could hear his radio on in the background. Jeff turned it off and said that he thinks that Eric is being used. Howard said that's what he thinks too but who are they to tell Eric what to do.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked about his dad. He said that his father must listen to the show and he'd like to know what he thinks about the wack packers on the show. Howard said he knows the answer to that and went into his father's voice and said that he's not a big fan of them and they're not his cup of tea.
Another caller told Howard how great the show has been over the past few weeks. He was also wondering what his father would say about Artie being out sick so much lately. Howard did his voice again but didn't have anything bad to say about Artie being out. Howard said that he had to go to break after that.
Howard said that Yoko has so much at this point and he wonders what she's worried about. He said that he's not sure what she does that makes what she does so bad. She said that she has a web site with that name and she signs her name Lennon and that's it. She was born with that name and that's what she goes by.
The guys said that no one in Elvis' family is suing Elvis Costello. Howard said that there shouldn't be any confusion there with a girl by the name of Lennon and a man by the name of John Lennon. Lennon said that she had one crazy woman ask her how she could meet John Lennon but she told her that he was dead and she got all upset.
Lennon said that she's been doing this Lennon thing for 8 years now but it turns out that Yoko is trying to get her trademark canceled and she could put a cease and desist on her if she wants.
Howard said that this is her name and she's not trying to fool anyone with her name. He said that there are other names out there that are confusing and no one is suing over that. Howard said that if there's a t-shirt out there that confuses people he could see Yoko getting upset but that doesn't seem to be the case. He said that he just doesn't get why Yoko would bother with this.
Howard said that if there was someone out there saying he was Howard Stern and putting out shirts and stuff, he'd get upset. He said that if there's some guy out there by the name of Howard just putting out ''Howard'' t-shirts, he couldn't really do anything about it.
Lennon said that she put out a couple of albums over the past 7 years and one of them came out on 9/11. Howard asked Gary if he had any of her music to play. Gary said he could get it in 2 seconds. Howard asked him to do that because he is kind of curious.
Lennon said that she was with Arista back in 2001 but that didn't work out so she's been on her own since then. Howard joked that one of her songs was ''Give Peace a Chance'' and asked her how she came up with that. He read some other notes about her and found out that she found her mother dead in her closet at home. She was just 18 when that happened. Howard said that's pretty traumatic.
Howard saw that Lennon has opened up for Aerosmith and bands like that. She also had to adopt her sister to keep her as her daughter. She did that and had to fight her aunt and uncle over that. Howard told her to call her a sister if she's her sister. She said that technically she's her niece. Howard wondered if she grew up in the deep south or something. She said that the kid is actually her sister's kid that her mother adopted and then she had to adopt when her mother died. It was all very confusing.
Howard said that he'd leave Lennon alone if he were Yoko. Gary told Howard that he found some of her music and told him that it had an Evenessence kind of feel to it. Howard waited for the music to come up on the screen but it was taking a little long. They talked about her web site LennonOnline.com before Howard played one of her songs. He also saw a picture of her and said that she looked good. She told him that she's one of the Suicide Girls too. He didn't know what that was so she told him that it's like a burlesque pin-up type of web site. Howard had the guys go to that site, SuicideGirls.com, as well.
Howard said he likes this whole scene with the rock chick with big boobs. He found out she's only 25 so he told her to go on American Idol. He said that selling out wouldn't be that big of a deal. Lennon said she likes her career the way it is.
Howard asked Lennon about her band and she said that she's got a new one coming soon. The guys found that she said that she'd like a midget sex slave on that Suicide Girls web site. That led to Howard asking her about having sex with other girls. She said she had done some stuff but she really didn't remember the details. Howard said he didn't believe that but she said it wasn't that memorable.
Howard asked Lennon if she has a lawyer to help her out. She said that she does have someone helping her out right now. They're telling her that she's got a case and she should be able to defend the trademark. Howard saw a picture of her naked and complimented her on that. He said he likes those areolas of hers. She said that one was taken before she had her baby. She said that she's back in shape though.
Howard took a call from someone pretending to be Yoko but the effect they were using on their voice wasn't easy to hear. Howard said he's on Lennon's side in all of this and told her to keep in touch. He let her go a short time later.
Howard said that this stuff is all porno too even if the girls are covered up a little more than they'd be in Playboy or something. He said that it's all porn and he'd go buy Playboy if he wanted to see stuff like that. Howard said Beth got a copy of Playboy yesterday and he figured out that he must be getting old because he was looking through it for the articles. He said that the girls on the cover were the three girls who claim to be Hef's girlfriends.
Howard said that the people at Sports Illustrated should realize that they are doing porno even if the girls are covered. Gary said that he saw Ice T's girl in Playboy and she's got some weird looking tits. They spent a minute on that subject.
Howard told Lisa that they got a note from a guy who said that he wanted to have sex with her. Lisa saw the guy's picture and said that she's not interested in that. Robin said that guys need to know that they shouldn't be sending naked pictures of themselves to people like that. Howard said that Beth told him that she doesn't like when guys spend too much time on their own bodies and she doesn't like those guys who are working out constantly.
Howard said that Beth went out to a couple of parties last night. He said she went out with a couple of the wives like Ross' wife and Richie Notar's wife. He said that she must get hit on all the time but she doesn't tell him about it if she does. He said that she was out until Midnight drinking and having fun.
Howard said he sat home and watched American Idol instead. He said he tells Beth he'd like to go out with his male friends if she's going to go out with her friends. She tells him to go ahead but he's really not interested in that.
Howard asked Lisa about going to Rick's Cabaret to do an interview with Lonnie Hanover. She said that it was her first time to a strip club and it was very interesting. She said some of the stuff was kind of creepy when the older guys took the girls up to some private rooms. Howard said that's like Ronnie, or Rickyman.
Howard had some audio of Ronnie yelling about them not having shots for the guests at the club when he was there the other day.
Ronnie came in and said that Lisa ran out of that club quick once she got her interview. She wanted nothing to do with what was going on there. Howard spent a minute talking to Ronnie about his new Rickyman persona and how he thinks he runs the place out there when he's telling people to get shots and stuff like that.
Ronnie noticed that Benjy was writing up a storm over there in his chair. He said that it looked like he was losing even more hair too.
Lisa said that all of the girls at the club were in shape so stripping must be good exercise. Howard asked her what she had coming up today. Lisa said that they're going to be talking about Gary trying to get into the Friar's club. He has to have an interview before he gets in. Howard said that he's surprised they have to do that because they're so hard up for members. Gary said that he's considered youth there at the club. Gary said that he was just there the other day talking to Alan Zweibel who is working on a script with Marty Short. That led to Howard goofing on him about calling him Marty.
Lisa said that Artie met with his co-writer, Anthony Boza, on Monday and talked about some stuff that he's never talked about on the air before. That could have something to do with him being out sick. Lisa said she has a story about a new movie that Nick Manning is in. She gave that a quick plug and said that she had to leave before she saw the sex scenes being shot. She said that she did interview the woman in the scene and she was afraid that something was going to happen when they did the anal scene so she said she had to get out of there. Howard said that she's a reporter so she should stick around for stuff like that. Lisa said that they were running really late and she really couldn't stick around.
Lisa claims that Nick got a call from Robin who said that she couldn't hang out with him anymore because she's dating Jim. He figured it wasn't going to last long and he'd see her when she was done. Robin said that she and Nick are still friends and she has him as a back up guy.
Lisa said that she spoke to an organizational expert who said that she had some suggestions for Benjy to get to work on time. Howard wrapped up with her and read some other news after that.
Howard wondered why the guy has to get off the way he does, alone. Howard read the story and said that the guy has to go back and explain to his wife and kids that he needs to get help for this compulsion of his. He said that he claims he's done with it and he won't go back but that's like a cigarette smoker saying they're never going to smoke again.
Howard said that guys are weird and he's not sure what goes on there when a guy ends up wanting to wear high heel shoes while he's tied up.
Howard said that there's this guy who calls himself the Naked Cowboy and dances around in Times Square every day in his underwear. He's now suing the M&Ms people because they had an M&M in one of their commercials dressed up like him.
Howard said that Steven Spielberg has come out and said that he's not going to support the Olympics that are going to be held in China.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he's going to have a bachelor party and if Sal is going to be invited. Howard said he's not sure about that but if he does have one, he guesses that Sal could come. He said that Sal is a weird guy though. He said that he hasn't been going to strip clubs all that much lately but it's not a conscious decision not to go. He said he's either content or he's becoming a woman.
Howard read another story in the paper about kids who see their parents drinking a lot can become drinkers too. He said there was a whole study done on that. He asked Robin if she thinks that Barack Obama is going to be the Democratic nominee. Robin said that it's looking that way now but Hillary is waiting for a few more big primaries to come up before she backs out.
Howard read that Gary Coleman got married recently. He said that she's just 22 years old and that's what he's trying to find for Eric the Midget. Howard said that the woman ''ain't bad.'' He said that she's white with red hair. He read an article about that marriage and talked about that for a short time.
Howard said that he saw that Denise Richards is getting a reality TV show and he said that's crazy. He said he had to go to break but ended up doing the Top 5 songs because they had a guest coming in who has the number 1 song. His name is Flo Rida. Howard played his song and said that he was going to be performing it live in the studio. They went to break a short time later
The caller asked if they had anymore tickets to the Borgata to give away. Howard said that he gave them away yesterday and didn't have anymore. He said that he was thinking about going down there himself but he's not sure if he's going or not. He said he might go, he'll wait and see. Robin told him he should.
Howard said that they're looking for guys with big man boobs so if you have them, send in pictures to email@example.com.
Howard said that there's a guy on the Biggest Loser who has the biggest, nastiest looking tits that he's ever seen. He said that even if the guy loses weight he's going to have a problem. He's got at least a C-cup under there. Howard said that this contest they're holding is being sponsored by GoldenCasino.net.
Bob goes on to say that he's having problems with his radio by saying that it was working a couple weeks ago, then it was off, then on, then on 2 hours, off and ''one, two, tee hours.'' He asked them to call him back the next morning to help him out. Bob said that everything else is okay and he misses everybody there.
Howard said that he's not sure they could have figured out what the call was about if Gary hadn't done it before. That led to him playing Bob's prank call to a Chinese food restaurant.
Howard played the clip which wasn't all that clear. In the clip Celine talks about sharing energy and doing it by touching thumbs. Howard said that sounds insane to him and she had no problem saying it in front of these reporters. He said that she seems to be very superstitious. He said that he'd keep all of his energy to himself if he had any.
Howard played another clip of Katie Couric saying ''suck off'' instead of ''siphon off'' during a news report. He said he thought that was pretty funny.
Howard had a clip of Richard Simmons breaking down and crying during an interview with Extra. He played that one where they were all happy at first but eventually start playing some sad music and have him crying. Richard is turning 60 years old this year and he broke down crying talking about all of the people who he's lost in his life. He said that he loves these people who he helps out and there are so many people who won't even touch them.
Richard was also talking about the people who send him those short shorts that he wears. They actually stopped making them in the 1980s but people go on ebay and get him more. Howard said that if they stop making something, it should clue you in that they're not in anymore. He said that no one is wearing them anymore.
Howard said he had another clip of this woman Mo'Nique crying as she's talking about meeting Oprah for the first time. He said he wasn't sure who she was but Robin told him that it's probably a comedian. Gary said that's who he thinks it is too. JD came in and said that it is the comedian and Oprah just had to hear all of this stuff.
Robin said she now realizes that she should have been sucking up to Oprah all these years. Howard played the clip where this Mo'Nique breaks down crying as she's talking to Oprah about how she saw her for the first time back in the 1970s and she had never seen a black woman like her on TV. Howard said that this is bullshit because there were nothing but fat, black women on TV back then.
Mo'Nique told Oprah, as she was crying, that she wanted to be just like her when she grew up. Howard said that Oprah was soaking this up and milking it for all it was worth. Oprah claimed that she didn't know all of this but Howard said that's bullshit. He goofed on her saying that to be like Oprah she has to take in a lot of calories.
Howard said that all of the scumbags that he's inspired just rip him off and don't come in there crying. He said that he can't get one person to cry on his show.
Howard played more of the Oprah clip and made fun of her as he was going along. Fred played some crying audio clips to goof on them as well. Robin said that she saw a Dr. Phil show where he was going on and talking about how great Oprah is. Howard said that Oprah seems to be the type of person who can't stay out of anything and she has to have everything, including food.
Howard heard that she opened up her own store out in Chicago and she sells stuff that are Oprah based. Howard said he and his agent talked about doing something like that but they figured that was a little excessive to have a Howard Stern store.
Robin said that Celine Dion has something like that out in Las Vegas based on her show. She sells everything Celine Dion out there. Howard said that Oprah has more money than God and you'd think that she'd take it easy on that stuff.
Howard figured he could slap an H on some merchandise and some of the mentally ill people in his audience would buy it. He said that it's just not cool. He said that Oprah puts her approval on stuff and then sells it in her stores. It's not even her own stuff.
Gary said that he went to the Cris Angel store out in Vegas and they had nothing but Cris Angel stuff there. He said that there were people in there buying stuff too. He said that they had clothes that were like Cris' and people were buying that stuff. He said he'd walk by the store and wonder what was wrong with those people.
Howard said they should send someone to the Oprah store to find out what she's go there. Just as he said that he saw a note in front of him about what she sells there. The store is 5,500 square feet and she sells all kinds of Oprah branded stuff and other things as well. Howard said that she sells glass bead bowls that are made by women in Africa, books that her guests have promoted and other stuff. Some of the profits go to charity, but not all of it.
Jon Hein came in and told Howard about Oprah's new show that's coming soon. She's giving people money to give away to other people to help them out. Robin said that one of the people ends up winning a million bucks. They spent a minute on that and then Howard asked if Flo Rida was there. Gary said he was and they were just waiting on one dancer to sign a release. Howard said he'd take a break then.
Howard said that he had this guy Flo Rida (Myspace.com/OfficialFlo) coming in next. He's got a number 1 single out right now and he doesn't even have an album out yet. Flo Rida came in and had a guy with him that he was calling Fo Mill or something like that.
Howard said that Flo grew up in Florida so that's why he gave himself that name Flo Rida. He congratulated him on the hit song and said that he seemed to come out of nowhere. Flo said that he was rejected by a lot of record companies and he used to be booed on stage and stuff.
Howard asked Flo if he spent $400,000 on bling. Flo said he did so Howard said he's worried about him. Flo said that his people told him he could spend it so he did. Howard said that he doesn't think that Flo had a big father figure in his life but Flo said he had his father there and his father and mother raised him. Howard sounded shocked by that.
Howard asked Flo about this single he has out and how much he sees on the downloads. He's had 2 million downloads and Flo said that he gets a good amount out of that. Howard asked him if he could get $50,000 together if he had to do that today. Flo said he could do that and even get $100,000 together if he needed to. He said that he's got some good deals happening and his lawyers are helping him out with that stuff. He said that he's even got $400,000 worth of cars and there's also some real estate that he owns too.
Howard said he wishes him a long career but told him that he shouldn't be spending it all on cars and bitches. He had one of his dancers in there so Howard talked to her. Her name was Ashley.
Howard spent a minute with her and then asked Flo about what he was doing before the singing career. He said that he was actually voted the best looking guy in school. Howard said he could see that because he is a good looking man. Flo told Robin that she's a good looking woman too.
Flo said that he was getting laid when he was 13 but it's not something that he really wants to promote. He said that it was something that just kind of happened. Gary came in and asked Flo how many ring tones he sold. He said they're over 3 million now and they make some good money on that. Gary said that ring tones are really big now and he probably makes more money on that than he does with the regular downloads. Flo said that's true. Flo said that he's looking into doing a couple of movies too.
Howard asked Flo about the girls that he's getting now. Flo said that they go to a lot of strip clubs and play the songs there because if they're not a hit there, they won't be a hit on the street. Flo said that he spends a lot of money at the strip clubs too. Howard said he heard that Flo had an orgy at a hotel room with 11 girls in the room with him. Flo said he did that out in Hawaii.
Howard said he's really worried about him spending all of his money now and not saving it for the future. He said that he has to bank some money and not spend 9 grand at a strip club every week. Howard said he knows what that's like and he has a budget when he goes to a strip club. He'll keep it to like $1000 though.
Howard asked Flo if he's had any famous women yet. He said that he hasn't yet but he's got some who are close to famous. He said he'll probably get some under his belt soon. Flo figured that's where he should be spending his money instead of strip clubs. He said that this show is therapeutic to him and he's glad he's on today.
Howard talked to one of the girls in the studio and found out she used to be a stripper but now she's in college. He spent a little time talking to her and then got back to Flo's cash flow and going to strip clubs. He asked if Flo lets girls give him oral on stage and things like that. Flo said that girls will just come up and try to unzip his pants on stage sometimes but he won't let them do that. He said that he might take them back stage and let them do something but not let them blow him without a condom on. He said he doesn't want to catch anything from anyone so he always wears a condom.
Howard asked Flo about the 11 woman orgy he had. Flo said that there were really almost 20 women in the room but he picked the best of the bunch. Howard said that the most he's ever had at once is 2. Flo told him to keep that up and he might end up with Flo Rida. Howard asked him how many times he can ejaculate with the girls. He said that he drinks Hennessy and that's the stuff that does it for him.
Flo told Howard that if he comes down to Miami, he's going to spend a lot more money in the strip clubs than he would up there in New York. He said that all of the women down there are really hot, even the women who greet you at the clubs.
Howard said that it sounds like Flo grew up in a tough neighborhood. He told Flo about how tough Roosevelt was for him and told him to read about that. He said he'd like to have the brothers in that neighborhood challenge the people in Flo's old neighborhood. He said that he had it tougher than Flo ever did.
Howard asked Flo to perform his song for them. He said he was going to do that and Ashley is going to dance while he does it. Howard said that this is the number 1 song in the country right now. They brought in some real money for Howard to throw at Ashley while she dances in there. Howard said it was real money too, it wasn't fake like he thought it was.
Howard said that the guys were throwing bills all over the place. He asked if Ashley was going to strip while they did that. She said she would do that if he wanted her to. Of course he did. The guys told Howard that they had over $5,000 in singles in that bag of money they brought in.
Howard had Flo go into his song ''Low'' a short time later. He played a music bed under him and he sang along to the music bed. The guys were throwing money at Ashley as she danced.
Howard said that the guys brought a lot of money with them and it seems like it was more like 10 grand. He said that Ashley was doing a dance with her ass and she was able to move each cheek separately. He said that it was unbelievable. He really got into throwing the money and had some fun doing that. He said it was a very original thing to do there. He said that he's never seen more of a disregard for money either. He said it was literally raining money in there and even as he spoke the floor was covered in money.
Howard said that it was turning Ashley on because she was doing all kinds of crazy stuff as they threw it at her. Richard and Sal came in and said that they're salivating for that cash. Richard asked if there was anything they could do for some of that cash. The guys told them to get them breakfast or something. Richard and Sal wanted to dance or something but the guys didn't want to see that. Sal offered to sing into Richard's cock as a microphone but no one wanted to see that.
Sal said that he'd let Richard shove money into his ass but they didn't want that either. Howard told them to get out of there, no one wanted to see that.
Howard said that the song was great and he thinks that Flo and the guys are on their way to big things. Flo said his album ''Mail on Sundays'' is going to be coming out on March 18th.
Richard told Howard that JD was melting over this girl because he's into girls with big asses. He said that they should have him come in there. JD came in and said that he could smell the money that was in there because it was new bills. Sal asked if he could do anything for that money like dip his cock in honey and pick it up. Flo told him he could have some for free because he'd rather not see that.
JD wanted to spank Ashley so Flo told him to go ahead and do that. JD went over and gave her a good smack. Richard asked Sal to do that to him but the guys asked Howard to let them know when they were done. Howard said that Sal took some of the money and rammed it into Richard. No one wanted the money after that.
Howard said he was going to play one of Flo's new songs from his new album as they were ending the segment. He thanked them for coming in and wrapped things up with them a short time later. He played his new song ''Elevator'' as they were going to break.
Howard said that the latest Miss Howard TV was there. He said that they've extended the Penny Preview by one day this week and you can catch that today at Howard.TV.
Howard said that this new Miss Howard TV is Brenda and her breasts are very large and natural. He heard that she's thinking about getting a reduction but Howard told her not to do that. She said that they're so large that they hang kind of low and she'd like to firm them up. She said it's really tough to find clothes that fit since they're not made for big breasts like that.
Brenda is from New Jersey and she does part time modeling. She said she'd engaged and he owns a golf course up in Syracuse. She said she was in a music video and she's done some trade shows and things like that. She was also in a magazine called Show and she was almost naked according to Howard.
Howard asked Brenda if she's ever been with a woman. She said that she has messed around but she's into guys. Howard asked her if the other girl had big boobs like her. She said she didn't. Howard heard that she was a big fan of Artie's too and he wasn't there today so she was kind of bummed out about that.
Howard asked Brenda if she's ever been offered money for sex before. She said that she used to work at a casino so she has been offered a lot of money. She said that one guy wanted to buy her a business if she would sleep with him. She said that he was gross so she didn't do anything.
Howard asked Brenda if she would do anything with Artie. She said that she loves him but she's not sure. She had a boyfriend so Howard figured that's why she wasn't saying anything. Howard said that some of the guys thought that she was lying about Artie. She said that she paid like $500 for two tickets to go see him last year. She said she really is a fan. Howard let Brenda go a short time later.
The caller also told Howard that he should take Artie out to dinner and try to get him to get his ass together. He said that he should threaten to bring in Greg Fitzsimmons to replace him if he doesn't stop fucking up the show. Howard said that he likes Artie and he's not going to threaten him like that. The woman said that if he was really a friend he'd do that though. Howard said that he's not going to threaten anyone and she's out of line.
Howard said that Artie is 40 years old, he's a grown man and he's going to do what he's going to do. The woman said that Artie is fucking up the show by threatening to quit and not showing up to work all the time. Howard said that he's there almost all of the time and he's not going to threaten him.
Howard said that he really doesn't control anyone there and he's not sure what this woman thinks he does. He said that he has had some conversations with Artie in private and he's told him that he can give him a psychiatrist's name for him but he's going to do what he wants to do. He doesn't think that he's trying to ruin the show. Howard said he thinks that Artie is actually sick but he's not looking to get him off the show or anything. The woman said she loves Artie and she wants him to get him some help.
Howard said that Artie isn't going to listen to anyone, he's only going to listen to himself. The woman kept asking Howard why he's not going to try and help him out. He said that he is his friend but he's not going to treat him like a little kid.
Howard and the caller went back and forth for a couple of minutes before Howard gave up on trying to talk sense to her. He said that Artie is a 40 year old man, not a little boy. He said there's really nothing he can do for Artie. He's offered him help and if he wants it, he can get it. Howard said he's not sure what else to do.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that they have a story about the weigh scale that they used to weigh High Pitch Eric's doody before Howard started there. Joey Boots is selling it.
Steve said they also have a story about Big Foot who has been warned to stay away from the Vermont mental institution and he's got a restraining order against him. He learned about that when he went to the cops to report his hamburger had just been stolen.
Steve said that they'll have a new High Pitch Mike rant about Artie since he's been out two days in a row now. Howard had that clip and played it. It was Mike doing an impression of Artie as if he had stayed up to watch American Idol the night before and that's why he was out sick.
Mike came in and asked Howard what's different between Artie's situation and when they intervened with KC. Howard said that it's a completely different thing because KC was affecting people at work. They didn't get into details about all of that though.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about Artie and how he's out of control these days with his eating and other stuff he's doing. Howard said he thinks that Artie is trying to work things out in some way. Mike said that he prays that Artie is okay even though he's got his differences with him. Fred said that Artie would still call Mike a fag even though he did that.
Steve said they have another story about George Takei talking about his appearances on the Stern Show in a recent interview.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He said they'll be talking about Flo Rida's interview, Lennon Murphy, Artie out sick, Eric the Midget and a lot more.
Ralph called in but Howard said that he gets a lot of mail telling him that he's on too much. Ralph said that's not going to stop him at this point. He pointed out that Mike really sounded normal when he was doing his Artie impression and maybe he should talk like that all the time. Howard said it probably hurts his voice so maybe he doesn't want to do that.
Robin read about Gary Coleman's marriage, a blogger who is claiming he's going to commit suicide in 90 days, the Presidential primaries and more. She had some audio clips of the various nominees that Howard played. Howard wondered how Barack Obama can yell so much and not lose his voice. He had one of Hillary yelling as well and said that she just sounds annoying doing that. Robin had some songs that people put together based on some things that Barack and John McCain have said.
Robin brought up the story about the guy who almost suffocated himself during an S&M session. She said that the guy claims that he doesn't remember putting on the shoes and doing what he did. She read another story about George Bush's ex sister-in-law and how the guy is looking to get his $400,000 ring back. Howard said that when you give a gift, it's that person's to keep in his opinion.
Yucko the Clown called in and said that he thinks that the reason Artie isn't in is because Valentine's day is coming up and he's busy at home crying over Dana. He also said that he sent out invitations to his wedding and Jason should be passing them out to everyone. He's getting married on May 3rd. Howard said he's surprised he's announcing that and doesn't seem to be worried about the paparazzi finding out. Yucko laughed and said ''yeah right!'' Robin wrapped up her news a short time later and Howard ended the show around 10:15am.
Howard did some commercials after that and found out that Robin had bolted out of there. It turned out that she had an early appointment today and that's why she rushed out of there.
Jon started everyone off by bringing up the end of the show since Robin just ended the news and left. Gary said that he spoke to her yesterday about meeting some people today. She told him that she was leaving at 10 today because she had an appointment. She didn't bring that up with Howard though because he seemed not to know. She did a quick newscast and buzzed right out of there.
JD said that she ran out and didn't stop to answer Howard. Benjy said that he didn't know. He wasn't able to get on the microphone though because Teddy wasn't there and Jim McClure was there trying to figure things out.
Benjy said that the tricks aren't hot either. Gary said that he hates that kind of stuff in a strip club but it's okay on the show. JD fell for Ashley and said that he had to disagree with those two. He said that he likes when a girl can move her ass like that and he knows that she must be able to do other tricks. He said that he finds it hot. Gary said it wasn't hot for him, it was just entertaining.
Jon asked Gary how much of that stuff that Flo and his guys were saying did Howard understand. Gary figured it was about 60 percent. He said that they've had some rap guys in there before who have number 1 songs and they'll come in and do the song but then they get really big and never come back. He said that the rap guys do seem to love Howard though.
Gary said that he's pretty sure that Flo isn't going to take Howard's financial advice though. They ended up taking all of that cash they were throwing at Ashley and gave it to her in a bag.
Jon asked JD about the spanking he did with Ashley. JD said that he wanted to do it on her naked ass but he got a ''no'' from the guys when he asked.
Jon said that this song came from some strip clubs and he wondered if that's how they're going to break songs these days. Gary said that he has a hit song now and he doesn't even have an album out yet. He said that things have changed in the industry now and singles seem to be the way to go. He's selling millions of downloads and ring tones. The whole music industry model has changed.
Jon and Gary were talking about how kids have no idea what the real meanings of these songs are and they end up singing them at parties and stuff. Jon said that his daughter wanted that song as her ring tone but he had to say no to her about that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he actually enjoyed that performance today and Sal and Richard had to come in and ruin it with their gay stuff. He said that they're a one trick pony with those things they try to do. Gary said that Sal and Richard came to him and asked if they could try to get the money for doing gay shit. He told them to go in and try it because it would be funny if they tried to pull it off. He said it worked out because those guys were freaking out when Sal and Richard would pitch ideas.
The caller said that it wasn't offensive to him or anything like that, it just wasn't funny. He said that they might have two things that they do well but it's not all that much that they can do for the show.
Sal came in and asked how many tricks they are, one or two? The caller asked Sal why the first thing out of his head is to do gay stuff. Sal said that he knew that they'd be offended by it. The caller didn't think that was funny but Sal said that offensive stuff is funny to some people. He said that he thought that the interview did kind of go flat and he was just trying to add to it.
Sal and the caller went back and forth for a short time and Gary said that he didn't send them in there to be offensive, he sent them in to get a reaction from those guys and that's what happened. Jon asked what Sal was going to rap into Richard's microphone when he went in there. Sal said he didn't remember his rap song but Jon and the guys tried to get him to sing it. He wouldn't do it.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that Sal and Richard were just doing the easy thing of bringing up the gay stuff. He said that sometimes it works but it does get a bit repetitive. He told them that they don't have to use the same angle every time. Sal said he agrees there but they were able to turn those guys off and that's the angle they were taking. He said they were just trying to ruffle their feathers and that's what they did.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that the gay stuff is funny as hell. He told Sal to keep it up. Jon asked where Richard was so Sal told him that he was working on something for Howard TV. They're doing a special about the staff hobbies and they're doing something about him drumming. Sal couldn't keep a straight face when he said that.
Gary told the guy that he doesn't think that's the case because he was doing Conan O'Brien's show before he got that heavy. The guy said that he didn't like Artie when he first started but he's grown to love him. He hopes that he's okay and gets some help for whatever problem he has.
Jon said that Howard brought up how he can't push Artie to get help, he has to do that on his own. Gary said that he agrees with Howard about Artie being a grown man who has to help himself. They can't force him to get help if he doesn't want it.
Benjy said that Howard has reached out to Artie and that's about as far as you can take it with someone like that. Gary said that he's done the same thing with Artie and he just takes the advice and does what he wants.
Sal asked Gary if he thinks that Artie is really sick right now. Gary said that he does. He said that he doesn't think he's on drugs. Sal wanted to know if he thinks that he's just blowing off a day or two for the hell of it. Gary thinks that he's really not feeling well and that's why he's not there. Sal said that he's not sure about that and Artie will just blow off a day or two here and there based on his talent on the show.
Gary said that Artie has said that he's hardly ever out in the past and he wonders if he could pull that off now. Jon said that it won't fly this week if he says that again. He said that he thinks that Artie is really sick and he's legitimately exhausted and not coming in because of that.
Benjy said that Artie is in a position where he doesn't have to worry so much about his job like some people do. He thinks that he has F-You money and he doesn't need the job that much. He said that if the job stopped, he's going to be fine. He said that he does think that he might be a little bit sick too.
Gary said that Artie must recognize how much the show helps him out with his career though and he can't just give that up and still sell out huge shows.
Jon said that Artie said that he'd be no good on the show if he came in and he wondered if that's why Artie wasn't coming in. Gary said that Teddy called him last night to let him know what was going on. Teddy had a text from Artie and just forwarded it to him. Artie didn't even call Teddy.
The guys talked about how there are actually a lot of people out sick there at SIRIUS. Gary said there are a lot of kids at his son's school who are out sick too. There's something going around and Artie could have gotten whatever that is.
Another caller said that he thinks that Artie is disrespectful. He said that he really doesn't have that respect for Howard that everyone else does. He said that he's funny on the radio but there is a lot of disrespect there. Jon asked the guys if they believe that. Gary said that he doesn't think that at all. Sal said he agrees with Gary on that. He said that Artie has some personal issues and that's what's going on there.
The guys said that there really are different rules for Artie on the show than there are for other people. Gary said that if he were out as much as Artie, he'd get fired. Howard didn't agree with him at first but then he came to his senses and realized that he was right.
Benjy said that if most people in the office had a cold, Howard would want them to stay away. If Artie has a cold, he'd rather have him in. Gary isn't so sure about that.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he thinks that Sal hit it on the head earlier about Artie being the heavy hitter in the room and he can take a day off if he wants to. He might be taking advantage of it and the caller said that he'd be the same way. He said that if you're not in a power position you don't take those chances.
Gary said that before he worked for Howard he was in college. He said that Howard kind of created who he is now. Sal is the same way, so is Richard. Artie had a career before he got there and Howard isn't going to mold him into anything. He said that Artie had done TV and movies before he was there.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that this might be the worst week of radio on the Stern Show ever. He said that they end the show early, Artie calls in sick and the whole staff is just phoning it in. He said that it seems like they're tiring out already or something. Gary said that he's been getting a lot of mail lately telling him that they've been doing a lot of great stuff lately.
Sal said that the caller brought up something interesting when he brought up Howard saying ''Anything else Robin?'' so often during the news. He wondered if that's an OCD thing or what. Gary said that Howard just does it as a goof and he even says it during interviews once in a while.
Jon went back to the phones and took a call from a guy who said he wanted to comment on Howard not being able to get Flo Rida's name right. He thinks that he's showing his age now. Gary said that they talked about him in the weekly meeting and he knew it but he did screw it up a few times during the interview. That guy was also saying that Artie always comes out with some great stories when he's out sick and stuff like that. They might get something good out of these two days he's been out.
Benjy said that Lisa G mentioned something about Artie talking to the guy who is helping him out with his book and he got into some deep stuff there. Jon said that Artie is probably under a lot of pressure with the book too because that's not an easy thing to do. Jon has written a couple of books and he knows what that's like.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if the Howard 100 News team has checked to see if Dana has been at work for the past couple of days. Gary said that might be kind of invasive.
The caller also asked Gary where Debbie Schlussel has been lately. Gary said that she must have made a decision not to call in anymore at some point and she just hasn't kept in touch with them. He did give her a radio when they moved there but he hasn't heard from her.
Gary said that he has read some of her columns that she's written over the years and they make him sick to his stomach. He said she's very smart but she wants to be Ann Coulter and she's not as pretty as her. Benjy said that his mother used to tell him to ask her out. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that there is a John Lennon connection there because Lennon was named after John Lennon. He said that she's not going out and performing his songs though so he's not sure why there would be confusion there.
Jon played a clip of Howard talking about Lennon and what she was saying during the interview about what was going on.
After playing the clip Gary said that Howard would care if a DJ came to town and started billing himself as just ''Howard.'' Benjy said that they kind of have that with Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer. Gary said that he thinks that's why Howard K. put the K in his name.
Sal said that he agreed with Gary 100 percent there and he thinks that some of the people on radio would actually do that just to try and get some listeners.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they had heard about the all-star draft thing that Bubba was doing on his show. Jon heard about that and he was talking about mixing up the two shows and to pick people, alternating from show to show, to make up two new teams. Jon went over some of the people who were picked for Bubba's team. The caller thought it would be great radio if they actually changed the shows up like that.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about that and how they might have a blast doing something like that. Gary said that he'd have a good time working with those guys. He said that he had fun down at Bubba's studio when they were there for his wedding. He said that it was actually very cool.
Jon said that Eric firmly believes that Kendra likes him and he's going to get upset with Howard if he goofs on him that way. Sal asked the caller if he likes Howard tweaking him the way he did. The caller said he does like the way he sets him off about stuff like that.
Jon took another call from a guy who wanted to talk about Ricketyman, Ronnie the Limo Driver. He said that he thinks that's what they should call him now and not change it. Gary said that Ronnie would have to live to 100 to live with a name like that before he came close to his Baba Booey name. The caller said that Ronnie isn't that far off.
Another caller said that there was a great part in the Eric the Midget show where he said that he was going to boot people out of the room if they asked any questions he didn't like. Gary said that they do have some tight rules over there and they'll ban people for just asking Eric what his problem is. The caller said that if you say the word Midget you're banned automatically.
Gary said that Eric e-mailed him yesterday and said he needed to know what the main number was for Pajamagram and ProFlowers was. Gary said that he's on the internet, he should be able to find out himself. Jon brought up how Gary read Eric's note to Kendra that was going to go along with his flower. Gary said that he loved the way that Howard played it and asked Eric to tell him if it was actually the right note that was going with the flower.
Gary said that people just send them shit that they don't have to and that's how he got that note. Benjy said that whoever sent that message is really wrong. Gary said that he did struggle with whether or not to read it on the air.
Another caller said that he hopes that Eric isn't giving up on Kendra because everyone has to have a woman who lowers their standards to date them. Gary said that he knows that he's got issues but he shouldn't be compared to Eric. He said that he knows he's breaking Eric's balls but he's struggling with a lot more than the rest of the guys there are.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Gary if there will be another roast. Gary said that they've kicked around a bunch of names and they're at the point where it has to feel right. The caller thinks that they should roast Jim and Robin but Gary thinks that they should wait until they're broken up before they do that.
Another caller said that on Friday's have become a complete bummer when they play the old shows. He said that he doesn't want to hear about Frank Gifford from something back in 1993. He wants them to do the Friday Show instead. He also said that he thinks that Robin was going to the doctor today to see if she's pregnant or something. Gary said that she could do that at 5 o'clock, she doesn't need to do it that early. Benjy said that she's 54 too. She has gone through menopause and it's probably not likely that she'd get pregnant.
Ralph said that he also thinks that Howard is just trying to move Robin along when he brings up that ''Anything else Robin...'' during the news. He said that he's got several different inflections too so he can use it in different ways to get a message across to Robin. Sal asked Ralph ''Anything else Ralph?''
Ralph said that Gary reading that note of Eric's on the air was just wrong. He said it didn't reflect well on Steven Singer Jewelers. Gary said that he didn't get it from them but he wondered if Ralph thinks that it was right for him to read it on the air. Ralph didn't seem to have a problem with that.
Will came in and said that he heard Ralph blaming Steven Singer for that. He said that it wasn't them who put it on the air, they had to make that decision. Will said that the wrong move would be for them to call in and read it on the air. Ralph told Will to go back and crawl into his hole. The guys talked about how it could have been anyone who sent in that note, it wasn't necessarily Steven Singer Jewelers.
Ralph asked the guys what they think the over/under is on Artie returning tomorrow. Gary said he thinks that he might take the day off. Sal and Jon said that he'll be in.
Ralph said that Artie is overweight and he doesn't eat well and he's just not healthy so he is prone to getting sick. He said that he's always thinking that Artie is back to using but that doesn't matter, it doesn't mean that he's actually doing it. He has a job where it isn't that big of a deal if he's not there. He said that if Fred doesn't show up, there's something missing there. Will said that he thinks that Artie could have been there to liven up a couple of segments though.
Gary asked Ralph what his favorite shows are and if things would change if one of the people were lost. Ralph said it wouldn't be a big deal. Will said that it is the Howard Stern Show and it only matters if Howard is there. They can pick up the slack with other people if they don't show up.
The guys spent a few minutes talking about Mike and how he doesn't seem to be all that intimidated by Artie when he's getting yelled at. Sal wondered if Artie had thrown a CD at his head if that googly eye of his would get straightened out.
Sal didn't think that Artie calling him a fag was that big of a deal either. They were going back and forth talking about the use of the word on the show. Sal wanted to see if Mike was willing to say he'd like to fuck some fat plumber's sister in Hoboken. He thinks that Mike knows that he's safe there and that's why he's got the balls he does when he's going off on Artie.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Howard is afraid of saying something to Artie because he doesn't want him to leave the show. Gary said that Artie has always had the freedom to leave the show at any time and he doesn't have to stick around there if he doesn't want to. The caller said that Howard won't even give Artie a hard time about this stuff even though Artie is going to go to work down in Atlantic City this weekend. Gary said that it's not Howard's fear of Artie leaving the show though.
Will said that he thinks that Howard likes that Artie is such a loose cannon on the show and that's why it's no big deal when he takes a day off now and then. Sal said that if Howard did attack Artie, it might turn into a really ugly confrontation. He said that it might turn into ''I'm not your bro Part 2.'' Gary said that he's not sure that's the case either.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that they don't have enough women on the show. She said that she thinks that they enable Artie by letting him get away with this stuff. Gary said that he's not telling Artie to do anything one way or the other so he's not sure that's the case. The woman said that they defend him though and he needs to get some help.
Another woman called in and said that she's really tired of Ralph talking about the black guests the way he does. She said that he's very racist and makes really stupid comments when he calls in like that. She said that it's really racist and Ralph is an asshole. Gary told her to stay on the line so they could let Ralph talk to her if he calls back in.
Jon took another call, from another woman, who said that she thinks that Jon is the best looking guy in the studio. Sal said that someone has glaucoma... The woman went on to say that they should have a substitute to sit in for Artie when he's out. Gary said that when Artie is out, Howard doesn't feel a huge burden to have someone else in. The show has evolved over time and Howard doesn't feel the need to fill Artie's shoes if he's out a day or two. He said that Jackie didn't have that big of a speaking role on the show when he was there so Howard doesn't need someone there to talk all the time.
High Pitch Mike came in and talked about the things that have set Artie off and how angry he can get toward people. He said that he thinks that he gets genuinely pissed off and calls him a faggot just to make him flip out.
Jon asked the guys if they think that Artie will show up tomorrow. Gary changed his tune from earlier in the morning and said that he thinks he will. Shuli said that he's pretty sure he won't show up but there will be another voice mail for Mike. The rest of the guys think that Artie will show up.
Jon took one last call from a guy who said that he thinks that Robin had to go out and get her ass and pussy cleaned for Jim Florentine, that's why she left early. Gary said that she didn't need to leave that early to do that though. They spent a minute on that and then ended the show.
Howard started off the show talking about how Artie was back this morning even though he was a little ill. He told Artie that people didn't believe that he was sick but he really is. Artie said that he had a doctor's note that he could give them immediately if they ended it.
Robin asked Artie what he's got. Artie said that he feels like he has a man sitting on his chest. He has a chest cold and he guesses he's alright. Howard told him to go home if he's that sick. Artie said that if he passes out at least it will be on camera.
Howard welcomed Artie back and saw that he had a Hawaiian Punch with him. Artie said that it's made with real fruit and he's got a standing order to have that every morning. Howard asked him if he knew the kinds of fruits that they use in the drink. Artie said that they don't even list them.
A caller told Howard that Artie is lying about his abuse of pills and stuff and it's because he's flying out to Vegas. Artie said he's not flying anywhere, he's working in Atlantic City this weekend. There goes that guy's theory.
Howard got the guys on the subject of Roger Clemmens and Andy Pettite. He said that he really thinks that it's a big waste of time to have the government spending so much money on an investigation into something like that. He said that it doesn't really matter that much if these guys are using steroids.
Howard said he got a note from someone who found something called Orbitcast on the internet. They wrote an article about the satellite merger and pointed out that some Congressman who were for the merger changed their minds all of a sudden and this web site claims that they got bribes. Howard read the article and said that his heart sank when he read this. They claim that they got some contributions from some organization called Georgetown. They list the amounts of money that they got and how they may be bribery law violations.
Howard said that this is the kind of shit that Congress should be investigating. He said that they should be looking into what they're doing themselves, not into what baseball players are doing with steroids. He said that there are soldiers dying in Iraq and there are so many other things that they should be worried about before this kind of nonsense.
Howard said that the whole Congress / baseball thing is out of hand and it seems like these guys just want to see some famous baseball players in person. He said that if they wanted to clean up baseball, they wouldn't be tracking down has-beens. They'd just threaten to fire guys from baseball if they get caught and just drop it. He said he doesn't care if they blow up like Bluto from Popeye.
Howard said that Roger Clemmens looks odd these days too. He said he's got a tiny head and a giant body and it makes him look like he is on the juice even if he's not. He said he just doesn't care about that stuff though.
Howard said he'd really like to see these Congressmen investigating each other. He wants to feel that there are some people with some integrity in Congress but that's not happening.
The guys spent some time talking about how in years past they'd pull major league baseball players into the draft. Nowadays that would never happen. Howard talked about how shameful this whole thing is on Congress and how if there was a draft these days, there would be a revolution in this country and people would probably lynch McCain if he said that this Iraq thing is going to be a 100 year war.
Howard said he knows he's going to get a lot of e-mail about this because he gets a ton when he brings up political stuff on the show.
Howard said that he gets his blood tests done there at the studio. He said he can't go that long without eating. Artie said that he's blown a lot of tests because he can't not eat. Robin said that she had to get that done quick because she didn't want to wait to eat. Howard said that Gary got upset that he and Jon Hein had to do a long Wrap Up Show yesterday. Artie said that Gary and Jon seem to think that they do just fine talking for that amount of time.
Howard said that woman was telling him to pull him aside and talk to him. He said that he thinks that Artie is a grown man and he has to do his own thing. The caller said he's a drug addict himself but he's gotten help and tries to stay off the stuff. He was addicted to pills for years. That led to the guys goofing on Rush Limbaugh a little bit.
Howard said that Rush Limbaugh is apparently against John McCain. He said that the whole thing was so convoluted that he's not sure why he even got into it. He said that some of these conservative talk show hosts think that they won't have anything to talk about if McCain gets into office or some crap like that.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said he had a couple of questions. He said that he had a theory about Artie getting sick over Dana and that's why he was out. Howard asked him what was going on with that relationship. Artie said that it's in limbo right now and Valentine's day is always shit for him. He said that sending her 1000 roses the week before Valentine's day was stupid. He said that he's out of gifts at this point. He said that he was buying her a lot of jewelry and had to get all kinds of weird stuff for different body parts.
Artie said that he is going to send Dana something but the relationship is in limbo. He said that he's talking to her on the phone but he's not sure if he's ''wooing'' her like Howard was asking about. Howard said there was a chick in there yesterday who was a huge Artie fan. It was the new Miss Howard TV. Artie saw a picture of her and said ''Holy shit!'' a few times. He said that she was kind of a red head and wondered if she had some fire in the hole.
Howard told Artie that he wouldn't be able to ask her out because of the Dana thing. Artie said he couldn't even look at her because it was painful. That chick is engaged though. Artie said that those chicks are the ones who say that they like him because they have an out.
Bobo asked if Gary and Artie have cleared the air over the paycheck scandal. Artie said that it was a stupid joke that got out of hand. Artie said that he wanted to get back to Dana and he never thought he'd say that.
Howard said that Artie called in sick on Tuesday and then High Pitch Mike did a parody of that call. Artie said that he still hates him. In the sick call Howard said that Artie called his friend a jerk off because he was forced out of his house or something.
Artie said that his bookie is having a nervous breakdown because of this money he owes him. He said that he told the guy to just forget about him but he's thinking that the cops are after him or something. He had to meet him to go over some things the other day and he didn't want to do it on the phone. He said that he told the guy that he's losing his mind. He said that he and the guy went to a diner and they had to smoke outside and must have smoked 5 cigarettes each.
Artie said that he was the guy who was the jerk off and he got home by about 11. He said that he's gone to bed around that time before and it was no big deal. He said that he might have a perpetual illness because he never feels great. Howard said that's what happens when you get heavy. He had the same problems when he was overweight. He said that he was getting walking pneumonia almost every week when he was fat. His doctor told him he was going to be dead because his immune system was shot.
Howard told Artie to come to his gym sometime and have the nutritionist there help him out. Artie said that it might be about time for him to do something like that, he is 40 years old now. He said that he was talking to his bookie about the money thing and he wanted the guy to just close up shop and forget about the rest of the $78,000 he owes him. Artie said that the guy gave him a little bit of money and he called it even.
Artie said that he's not sure what to do with this guy and he just had to call it even. He said he can't beat the guy up or anything. He said that he put him out of business and he just feels bad for the guy because he has a wife and kids.
Howard figured that Artie let the guy off the hook for like $38,000. Artie said that it was more than that. The guy paid him about $18,000 of the 78 he owed. Artie said he actually owed him $73,000 because he lost another 5 grand on something else.
Artie said that he told this guy, who has really cute kids and a wife who hates him, that he was going to just call it even unless the guy gets back into the business. He said that he's dealt with other guys who are able to handle bets like that and always paid up.
Artie said that he felt back for this guy and the whole situation. Bobo said that Artie really has a big heart. Artie said that he can't garner his wages or anything. He said he'll know if the guy gets back into the business. He said that he's closing up shop now and he's just going to go back to working his blue collar job. He said he can't ask the guy for $100 a week or anything but Howard said that's exactly what he should do. He said that the guy wouldn't let Artie off the hook if he said he couldn't pay.
Artie said that this bookie is a guy who is doing what he'd be doing if he didn't find the success he did. Howard said that Artie finally wins big and now he can't get the money. He said that his life is a mess. He's in limbo with Dana, he's got a perpetual illness and he can't get his money from the bookie.
The guys asked Fred what he would do in a situation like that. He suggested that Artie demand at least half of the money he's owed. He shouldn't let the guy off the hook that easy.
Artie said that the guy's wife might be listening so he likes that he can kind of tell her to fuck off on the air. He said that she thinks that he's one of those guys who thinks he's a big shot and doesn't deserve it. Fred asked if he's his only customer. Artie said he's not, there are other guys but their not betting in his league.
Artie said that he kept doubling his bets and the guy kept taking them. Fred thinks that the guy just hoped that the bets would fall through and he'd collect a big amount of cash from Artie. Artie said that he and this guy used to bond over Howard.
Howard said that the only thing that could go wrong now for Artie is for Black and Decker to go bankrupt since he bought a bunch of stock. Artie said he got some other stock as well, like more SIRIUS and some other stuff that he got some tips on. He said he'd share them with Howard off the air.
Howard said he loves that the bookie's wife hates Artie. Artie said that she's one of those girls who is mad that he got famous. He said that she didn't think it was right for him to quit the port when he was there. He said that she actually told him that it was wrong. He said that maybe she's mad now that she was wrong back then. Howard said that people don't like to be left because it's threatening to them. He said that she's not going to break out and get famous so she doesn't want anyone else getting anything.
Artie said that might be right because there were jokes between him and his friends about her wanting to leave the bookie for him back in the day. Howard said that all of this is disturbing to him and he needs to move on to other things. Howard said that he said that Artie was never going to get that money back when he announced he had won.
Howard said that he watched American Idol last night and he was upset that they didn't pick the homeless kid. He said that he should be talking to Eric the Midget about this. He said that this kid on the show was living out of his car and he was terrific. He said that he went up and performed a song that he didn't know the words to and kind of screwed up. Howard said that he was good when he was singing stuff he knew. Howard said the kid was interesting too.
Howard said there was a chick at the end that they kicked off. He said that there was this big, fat black chick on the show and fat chicks just don't become pop stars. He said that last year's winner was kind of chubby but no one is interested in looking at that. He said they booted off a really good looking chick who was able to sing just as good as that fat black chick and things are just crazy on that show.
Robin said that the black chick just wasn't good and Simon Cowell said that he loved it. Fred said he thinks that they should kick Simon off the show because he seems to be losing it. Howard said they should tell the fat chicks to go away and lose some weight and come back the next year. He said that the chicks who are making it big today are good looking, not fat chicks.
Howard said that he hasn't heard Eric the Midget's Idol show yesterday. Gary said that Eric and Kendra are supposed to call in together this morning and they're going to have something very special that Eric has created. Gary said that he had to make a deal with Eric where they can't take any calls while they're on and they have to play this thing that Eric made for Kendra.
A woman called in and said that she usually doesn't like Eric but he's been great on the show lately. She said that she'd love to see some of those segments on Howard TV in a special section or something. Doug Goodstein came in and said that they do sprinkle Eric in on the shows once in a while.
Howard had to put them on hold so they could give Kendra the phone number to call in on. Eric gave her permission to do that while they were still on.
Howard told Artie what he was saying yesterday about Kendra and Eric's relationship. He said that Kendra is a very pretty girl and if she's stringing Eric along, that's just not cool. He got Eric back on the line a minute later.
Howard said that he was going to get Kendra on and then he'd play whatever it was that he wanted to play. Johnny Fratto was on the phone and said that they're going to play this thing today. He said he was going to stay very quiet today while Eric was on. Howard asked Johnny if he was okay. Johnny said that he was on hold for a little too long and he was falling asleep. Howard said that it's no wonder that he couldn't hear anyone, they had three people on the line at the same time.
Kendra was on the line so Howard got to her. Robin said that she thinks that she's really into Eric and they have a real thing going on there. She said she could tell by the way they were talking to each other that they're into each other.
Howard said that he has Eric's best interest at heart. He said that Eric is a great guy who has a lot of afflictions and things. Kendra said that looks aren't everything. Howard said that his point was that if Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt were her phone friend, something tells him that she'd be out to visit him within 24 hours. He said that she'd have to meet him in person so the relationship could go on. Kendra interrupted and said that if either of those two people called her to meet her and gave her an attitude, she would not go to meet them at all.
Howard said that Kendra should have arranged to meet Eric by now if she was into him. She said that she can be friends with Eric the way she is, she never claimed that she was falling in love with him.
Howard said that he's trying to find Eric a ''real'' girlfriend. Kendra said that she's keeping Eric happy now and they'll never find anyone for him that can make him that happy. Howard said that Jimmy Kimmel is willing to fly her out there to meet Eric. Kendra said that she'd fly out to see Eric if Jimmy Kimmel wants to fly her out there no problem. Howard said it sounds like she's going to prove him wrong.
Howard told Eric to shine up his shoes because they're going to get her out there to meet him in person. Howard said that if this is the real deal then he'll apologize for everything. Kendra said that these things take time and she's not promising anything.
Kendra said that it takes time to get to know someone and she and Eric have only known each other for about a month. Gary asked Kendra about her last boyfriend and what he looked like. Kendra said she never even said it was a guy. She said that it could have been a girl. Gary wanted to know what her last guy boyfriend looked like. He wanted to know how he staked up to Eric. Howard told Gary they didn't have to go there.
Kendra said that she was fuckin excited to meet Eric in person. She said that she's very excited that she'll be able to sit in the same room with Eric because it has been a build up to this. She said she can't wait to be in the same room with him and have a conversation. She said she's even going to kiss him lip to lip.
Howard said that Eric was being strangely silent. They all saw that he was smiling on camera though. Kendra told Eric ''Happy Valentine's day baby!'' and Fred threw in a ''Ack, ack'' before Eric could say a word.
Howard told Eric to say whatever it was he wanted to say to Kendra. Eric gave her a Happy Valentine's day wish and then Eric debuted his new song that his friend Brandon and he wrote together. Artie said that he was really looking forward to this song today.
Howard played a song which was actually one of their song parodies. He cut that off and then Fred played the ''I'd Like To Fuck the Shit Out Of You''' song parody. Kendra didn't sound too thrilled about that. Then they got to the real song that Eric and his friend wrote to the tune of ''Wild Thing.'' Artie was laughing hysterically as the song was playing. It was basically Eric talking the lyrics to the song.
Howard asked Kendra if she was crying. She said she was touched and she had the biggest smile on her face. She said that she really liked the song and the rose that he sent to her. Robin said she can't wait to hear that song over and over and over again.
Howard told Kendra not to hurt this guy. She asked them not to hurt him either. Howard and Robin said that they'll still be there for Eric even after she's gone. Artie said that she's willing to kiss Eric but they're willing to fuck Eric. Eric said no thanks to that offer.
Eric said that the songs he's working on are still in the demo stages and they're going to do a real version of it. Kendra asked them to drop all of the e-mails and phone calls from people that want to date Eric. She wants Eric all to herself. She said that she doesn't think that anyone could overcome what they've created but she doesn't want the competition.
Gary said that there's no need to delete anything because no one responded. Howard told Gary that wasn't necessary to say. Howard told Kendra that they're going to make this happen and they will get her out to visit Eric. Eric said that there's no competition for Kendra. He said that Gary has been pissing him off for the past few days.
Johnny said that Kendra had a boyfriend who was in a wheelchair. She said that she did have one in high school. She didn't get into too much detail about that. Gary told Howard that they had to get Lisa Rinna in there so he had to move along. Howard let Eric, Johnny and Kendra go after wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day.
Howard said that Lisa took direction very well and did some of the stuff he suggested on her Red Carpet show coverage at the Grammy's. He said that he knows a lot about that kind of stuff and her lips look 10 times better already. He said that her lips were blown up so big that he thought she was going to float away. He said that she looks fresh, normal and hot now. He told her that she doesn't need giant lips.
Lisa said her husband Harry Hamlin told her that he likes her the way she is but he was fine with what she did. Howard told Lisa that she looked good in the dress she wore and she wasn't annoying. He said that she listened to him and he liked the way she was doing the interviews.
Howard said that the mistake the TV Guide Channel has made is teaming her up with Joey Fattone. He said that the guy just doesn't shut up. He has diarrhea of the mouth and he can't shut up. He said that they should give each of them their own segments. Lisa said that's what they usually do but at the Grammy's they did it differently because they figured she wouldn't know what was going on in the music industry while Joey would.
Howard told Lisa that she just has to eliminate that fake laugh of hers. She said that's a nerves thing and she did catch herself doing it a couple of times. Artie told her that it's just the fake laugh she has to get rid of, the other fake stuff is fine.
Howard said that Lisa really did well following his instructions. He said that he took a special interest in her and he wouldn't do that with other people. He said that Lisa is going to be covering some other events and she should be able to do a better job now.
Howard said that Carrie Underwood wouldn't speak to Lisa and he's not sure where that girl is coming from. She's supposed to be a regular girl but now she's acting like the Queen of Sheeba. Lisa agreed and thinks that she should just talk to the people. Alicia Keyes didn't talk to her either and just walked right by. Howard said that her hair do wasn't working that night. He said that she put her hair down later in the show and it looked good.
Howard talked about how big Alicia's ass was and asked what Lisa does for hers. She said that she does some squats, but not too many because her ass will blow up if she does too many. Howard asked her if she stares at herself in the mirror and admires her body. She said she does do that sometimes and she thinks she looks good at 45.
Howard asked if there's any cellulite on that ass. She said that there are a few ripples and there is a tiny bit of cellulite there. She said that she is probably the hottest mom in the group of women she hangs out with. She said that they actually hate her at school.
Howard asked Lisa if she was a prom queen or anything like that. She said that she wasn't that popular but she was a cheerleader. She was living out in Oregon at the time. Howard asked her if she was a bad girl back then. She said that she was.
Lisa said that she got right out of Oregon and moved out to L.A. after going to college for a few minutes. She said that she lost her virginity at the age of 16. She said that it was Todd Nelson who took her virginity. She said that they did it on the floor of the bathroom of her house. She said that it took him a long time to get her to that point. Howard asked her if it was what she imagined. She said it wasn't because it hurt.
Fred threw in the old lady porn clip that makes Artie laugh while they were talking about the virginity thing. She said that it got to be more fun as time went along. She said that she had another guy come along when she was 18.
Howard asked Lisa if she ever blew a guy for a part out there in L.A. She said she never did that. She did date some other actor before she met and married Harry Hamlin. She said that this guy Peter Barton was one guy she dated.
Howard told Lisa she should try sleeping with a woman sometime. She said that she's really not attracted to women in that way. Howard told her to try and get Angelina Jolie, those two with the giant lips would be amazing.
Howard talked to Lisa about being on Melrose Place and how much he used to beat off to her when he'd watch her on the show. She said she had a good time doing that show.
Howard asked Lisa who her friend are out there in California. She said that Cindy Crawford is a good friend and they hang out in the hot tub sometimes. Howard brought up Harry Hamlin again and Robin said that she saw him do something heroic one time when she was out at a play. She saw him helping out a woman who had some diabetic problems.
Howard talked to Lisa about Harry and his past relationships with Ursula Andress. She said that he's got a child with her. He was with her when she was 44 and he was only 28. She said that she ended up getting pregnant the first time they did it.
Lisa said that she had a friend who had an eyeglass center that she was working at and that's where she met Harry. She said that she had a glass of wine with him and she had just seen the Cirque De Soliel show and was telling people about it when Harry came in. Harry had just broken up with Nicolette Sheridan at the time. Howard said that chick really seems to hate him. He saw her out one night and she cracked a joke about how she was in the land of the giants when she saw him. Howard asked Lisa about Nicolette and what she thinks of her. She said that they're not very nice to each other. If they are, it's a fake nice.
Howard asked how long Lisa held out with Harry. She said it was about 10 days. She made him take an AIDS test before she'd do anything with him. She said that he as a nervous wreck when she asked him to take that test. She said that the whole AIDS thing was big at the time but he thought she was out of her mind. She said that they were doing a lot of heavy petting while they waited for the rest results to come back.
Howard said that he figures that Lisa is good in bed. She said that she's gotten better over time. She said that she likes to watch porn and stuff like that. Howard asked her if she uses the C-word for her private parts. She said she's not a fan of that word but she said she would say pussy. Howard asked her if she'd every say that her pussy is wet. She said that she would, that's her husband.
Howard said he loves dirty talk when he's having sex. Lisa agreed and said that she dances for him and will dress up like a nurse and things like that. Howard told Lisa she's terrific and looking really good to him. Fred threw in some Nick Manning porn clips while they were talking about all of that.
Howard asked Lisa if she shaves down completely. Lisa said that Harry prefers a full bush but even she doesn't want that. She said that she has a little triangle down there. She said that Harry doesn't want it shaved down completely.
Howard gave Lisa a plug for the 2 hour red carpet show that she's doing for the TV Guide channel later this month. She said that she's going to be looking for a dress while she's in the city. Howard told her that she should wear a bathing suit sometime. She said that she'd be willing to do that at one of these events.
Howard said that Lisa is doing a couple of shows on the TV Guide channel. He asked her if she's still doing that Dancing with the Stars thing. She said that she has gone out on tour and she's actually going to open her own dance studio too.
Lisa got in a plug for her store web site BelleGray.com and said that Harry is the one who starts up that kind of stuff and keeps it running. She said that he's in town with her but he's back at the hotel sleeping. Howard said that's a shame because he wanted to come back to her hotel room later today.
Howard asked Lisa about Terri Hatcher and the way she treated her on one of the shows she did. Lisa said she didn't notice it that day but some people thought that Terri was kind of mean to her. She's not sure where that comes from.
Howard told Lisa he wishes her a lot of success and she's doing a great job now. He said that there's a sexual energy in the room when she's there and he likes it. He asked if she ever goes to strip clubs. She said that she and Harry have gone but she doesn't go to back rooms or anything. Howard wondered if he gets hand jobs back there. She said she hopes not because she gives the best hand jobs. She said that she learned from a woman who learned from a gay man how to give a great hand job.
Lisa told Howard that she has some great tricks that she learned from this woman. She said that she might have to tell Beth how to do this stuff. She demonstrated some of the moves she learned and showed Robin. Howard said that he may not have enough penis for two hands.
Artie asked what you're supposed to do if a guy has enormous nuts. Lisa said that you can't forget the ''kids.'' Howard got back to the strip club thing and asked if she's gotten a lap dance. She said ''not really'' and said that the girls really haven't felt her up or anything. She said that they do go to the clubs to liven things up once in a while. It helps keep them from getting bored.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Lisa that she did a great job after taking Howard's advice on what to do. She said that she's a big fan of hers too. Another caller asked if Lisa ever lets Harry tittie fuck her. Lisa said of course she does. Howard asked her how much she weighs and how tall she is. She said that she's 5'6'' tall and 112 pounds. Howard said that's the right weight and height.
Howard was figuring that Lisa was good for about a million a year but Lisa said it's at least that much. She said that she makes really good money doing the Dancing with the Stars stuff and the TV Guide Channel.
Howard took some calls and let some fans talk to Lisa. One guy said she was one of the best guests that they've ever had. Another guy said that he used to jerk off to her when she was on the soap opera that she was on. Howard asked her if she likes that guys jerk off to her. She said that she never really thought about that in the past but she does kind of like hearing that.
Howard said that if he saw Lisa in high school he'd probably be beating off to her all the time. He asked her what she was like back then and if she was ever sexually molested or anything. She said that she never had anything like that and she's been very lucky that way. She said that she hopes her children are that lucky as well. That led to the guys talking to Lisa about her kids. Howard said that he'd like to know what she'd do if her kids turned out ugly. Lisa said that she's not sure but she doesn't have to worry about that. Howard said it's the worst when two good looking people have kids and end up with ugly kids.
Howard said that being ugly isn't fun and he knows from experience. He said that when you're beautiful people do treat you differently. Artie asked Howard if he'd rather have a gay kid or an ugly kid. He said that he'd probably pick the ugly kid because the gay people get the worst end of the stick in life.
Howard said that Harry really lucked out with Lisa because she's kept herself looking good all these years for Harry. Harry is 12 years older than her and he made the right choice with Lisa.
Howard told Lisa she did a great job today and he's glad she came in. He reviewed some of the stuff that they went over today and then Gary told him that she had to go do another show so she had to get out of there. Howard told her to teach Regis about the hand job stuff when she's there. She said she might have to teach Regis' wife how to do the basket hand job. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard said he's thinking about doing another movie some day but he's not sure when. He said that he was going to try and direct one himself but he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it on the air. He told Artie to ask him about it during a break and he'll tell him what it was.
Howard said that he has the kind of personality that makes him want everything. He said he was offered a deal a couple of weeks back where he'd be running an empire but he had to turn it down. He said that this proposal was so great, and he knows he could do it if he applied himself. He joked that it was being President of Mexico.
Howard said that if he told them about this deal everyone would think that it was a great deal. He said it would have been a lot of work and he was really tempted to do it. He said that it would have been an amazing announcement if he had been able to do it.
Howard said that he was in this meeting and he was asked what he'd do with the business. He said that he was thinking about it for days and then just said he wasn't going to do it. He said that he feels a huge sense of responsibility with SIRIUS and the audience who are coming over. They still have 6,000 people a day coming over to them and it's enough of an empire to run. He said he had to say no to the other deal.
Howard said that he had to stop doing the production company stuff he was working on too. He said they were going to start cracking things up when he moved there to SIRIUS and he just wanted to get out of all of that. He said he couldn't do it, he had to concentrate on this job. He said that he had to be happy and he couldn't keep doing the production company thing.
Howard said that your life will fall apart if you don't learn to say no at some point. He said that he would still say no even if he didn't have a woman in his life. He said that work takes up a lot of your time as it is so you have to be able to say no. He said he really would like to be in another movie though.
Artie said that he should have offered Howard a part as an umpire in ''Beer League'' because the production company people wanted him to offer him the job. He answered for Howard though.
Howard played the message where Wendy talks about her missing cat ''Tigger'' where she's crying and getting all upset about it. Then she breaks into the xBox 360 begging and asks them to help her out with that. She said that her cat has been missing for 20 days now and she's sorry that she keeps asking for everything that she asks for. She said that she can't work because she's on disability and she can't afford it.
Howard said that he likes that Wendy says that what's worse than her cat missing is that her friends are still bugging her about the xBox. He played another message she left for Richard where she was singing a song on his voice mail. She didn't sound upset at all in that clip.
Howard had a voice mail from Jeff the Vomit Guy. He played that one where Jeff is saying that he goes out one night a week looking for women at bars who are close to being nauseous so they can vomit on him. He also asked if they could do a story about him and what kind of life he lives. He thinks that it's the most erotic thing out there and he'd love to be able to get his story out there.
Howard also played a prank call that the guys made to a Bulimia clinic using clips of Jeff the Vomit Guy talking about his love of vomit. They had the woman on the line getting all freaked out by this comments about how he likes to watch girls vomiting. The woman eventually tells him that he's an asshole.
Howard had a voice mail from Crazy Alice who was freaking out on them about Will not flushing the toilet after he pees. Alice ended up going off on Ralph about that but it wasn't clear why. They weren't able to figure out exactly what it was she was yelling about.
Howard said that someone like Mark Cronin must be on the phone to him about a reality show. He said that if he isn't on the phone, someone should be on the phone with him to make a new reality show. Artie said that he worked with Gary twice and both times he was on the set hitting on every hot P.A. that was there. He said that he was following the girls around all day long. He figured that he got chicks but Gary always claimed that he was a virgin.
Artie said that he had a story about Mark Cronin. He said that there's a solid offer out there for him and Mark wants to executive produce a show for Comedy Central. It would be a take off of the Bachelor and it would be ''Who Wants to Fuck Artie Lange'' and they'd have 10 broads and maybe do it for 10 weeks. He said that it's the funniest thing he's ever heard so he may just do it.
Howard said that Artie is doing good in his career and he doesn't want to make it look like he's desperate or anything. Artie said he knew that Mark Cronin was involved with the show before his agent even told him that he was. He guessed he was involved. Artie thanked Cronin for the offer.
Gary came in and said that he had a clip of Jane Fonda saying the word ''cunt'' on the Today Show today. Howard played that clip and she was talking about an offer she had to do a show called ''Cunt'' and they didn't bleep it. Howard said she knows better than to do that but she apparently just doesn't care.
Howard said that he was reading a promotion for a show that Martin Bashir is doing over in England about him and it's very positive stuff. He said he never gets positive reviews there in the U.S.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about a Gary Coleman tape that they played a couple years ago. Howard said he didn't remember exactly but it did sound familiar. He had walked off of some reality show. Howard said that if he could, he'd put a camera on Gary Coleman and his wife if he could.
Howard said he was watching that VH-1 show about that Brady guy and Adrienne Curry recently. He said that Brady got upset with her when she went out and did a photo shoot with another girl. Howard said he went out and put together a photo album of him with Ralph in bed so it looked like something that he'd gone out and shot with him. He said that Beth got it and laughed her ass off. He said he gave her some candies and stuff as well. He said that she wants to get a bag and a pair of shoes so he's going to go out and do that and take her out to dinner tonight.
Howard said that he and Beth are back to doing something normal. Double A told him he should go down to see Artie this weekend in Atlantic City. Howard said that they were all set to go but now it looks like he won't be going. He said he's not sure. He heard that Chris Booker was going to he was going to go with him but then he backed out and now he's not so sure what's going on.
Artie said that he'd love to go down there with Howard just to play poker one weekend. They don't have to do it this weekend. Howard said he'll talk to him off the air about that.
Another caller thanked Howard for letting him talk to Lisa earlier. Yucko the Clown called in and wished Howard a Happy Valentine's day. Robin said that she got his wedding invitation and she's happy that it's in Georgia so they won't be going. Howard said that he knows they're not going and he just wants gifts from them. Fred said that he should have just come in with a bucket and asked them to throw in some money. He said that this is a farce of a wedding invitation.
Yucko said that he's known them for 9 years and he knows he would have heard shit from them if he hadn't invited them. Howard asked him how much money he needs. Yucko said that he doesn't need shit.
Howard said he was invited to Ron Pearlman's kid's bat mitzvah and he wasn't going so he just sent her a grand. He said that she's got billions but he had to send something.
JD came in and said that he had tape of Meredith Viera apologizing for what Jane Fonda said earlier. She said that she just let it slip and it's something that they don't say on the air and didn't mean to offend anyone. Howard said that they should have a delay on that show and the word never should have made it to the air. He had to go to break after that.
Richard talked to Artie about some stuff he heard him saying earlier about him still working at his age. Artie said that it was Fred, not him. Howard said that Richard just shook his hand and he had to put some gel on there to clean it up.
Richard didn't know where to sit and asked if it was like the Tonight Show with the couch there. Howard asked him if he was checking his sunglasses earlier to make sure he looked okay. He said that he actually had a cut cornea a couple of weeks ago, that's what he was looking at. He said that he had a hernia recently too and he thought it was cancer so he went up on stage and told people it was his last appearance because he was dying. He said that they were laughing like crazy thinking he was serious.
Howard read that Richard had 22 MRI's recently and that's a little excessive. Richard said that's probably over the past year or so. He said that he's 60 years old now and he's just checking on stuff that he thinks he's got wrong with him.
Howard said that there was a time when Richard would come on the show much more often. Richard said that after 20 years of doing shows with Belzer and Gilbert and Kinison, he figured he wasn't that great of a guest. He said that he didn't think that he was very good on the show so he backed off a little bit. Howard said that he didn't suck though, he was always good.
Howard said that Richard was named one of the top 50 comics of all time by Comedy Central. He asked if that was a big deal for him. Richard said he really doesn't give a shit about stuff like that.
Richard also asked Artie about his reality show that he mentioned earlier and told him he'd be lucky if he got laid by a monkey. Artie said that he's his biggest fan and this is the way he's going to treat him. Richard said that he's not his biggest fan, he's full of shit.
Howard said he got the feeling that Richard used to hate doing stand-up comedy. Richard said he loves it now. He brought up his alcoholism so Howard talked to him about that and how he didn't think that he was really a drunk. Richard said that the book he wrote about that in is coming out as a reissue because he wrote more about all of that stuff.
Howard said that Richard claimed that he had a champagne problem in the book but Richard said it wasn't just that, it was everything. Richard said that Howard was lying and he wanted to be on TV so people could see his eyes. Howard said he wasn't lying. He was just talking about the stuff they read about him in his book. He said that Richard described his drinking problem and it didn't seem like it was really that bad.
Howard said that Richard didn't talk about the crystal meth and cocaine in the first issue of the book. Richard said that it wasn't crystal meth either, it was coke that was cut with something. He said that he was drinking any kind of liquor and some drugs.
Howard said that Richard wrote this book and he thought that it was about champagne. Richard said that Howard didn't even read his book so he doesn't know. Howard said he was going by what Richard told him on the show when he was on back then. Richard was still trying to figure out what drug it was that he had done but he wasn't able to figure it out. He asked Artie but even Artie didn't know what he was talking about.
Richard said that his addiction was more serious than Howard thought it was. Howard said that he's written a new forward to the book and it's going to be reissued.
Howard talked to Richard about this woman he married. Richard said that he found this woman about 10 years ago but he has no desire to have any kids. He said that she's getting to the point where it's too dangerous to have kids.
Sal came in and said that back when Richard talked about that drinking and stuff he didn't bring up the drugs and stuff. Howard didn't want Sal interrupting him like that so he kicked him out. Gary told Howard that Richard has only added 4 and a half pages to this book. Sal said that he loves Richard on Curb but that's about it. Howard told him to get out after that. Artie told him that's no way to talk to a guest. Richard asked who the fuck that guy was, a messenger from hell?
Richard said that the drug thing was all in the first release of the book. He said that he went to rehab for that stuff but he bolted from the place because he was so ashamed. He said that he goes around trying to help people now. He calls people and meets drug addicts trying to help them out. He said he'd like to help Artie but he's afraid that he's a lost cause.
Richard was still wondering who the hell Sal was. Robin told him that he used to be a fan of the show. Richard said that he's Jack Ruby's nephew, that's who he is. He said that if he just said he was a piece of shit and he could do the same, that would be fine.
Sal came back in to apologize but he started to say some more stuff so Howard cut him off and kicked him out before he put his foot in his mouth again.
Howard said that Richard has had a lot of beautiful women in his life and it must have been hard for him to settle down. Richard said that he still looks, it's impossible not to. He said that he still jerks off and loves it. Howard said that he hasn't jerked off since last July. He said that he's having a good sex life and he doesn't need to do it. Artie said that he last time he didn't jerk off for 7 months was when he was about 7 months old.
Howard asked Richard about his wife and how that's all going. He said that they're doing good and they can go out to dinner and stuff as long as they're not somewhere that people are doing drugs and stuff.
Howard kept bringing up the champagne thing and Richard had to correct him on that and said it was just one line in the book. Howard gave Richard some plugs for that book, The Other Great Depression, which is coming out again on March 17th. He also gave him a plug for his web site RichardLewisNaked.com.
Howard said that he had Richard on the show a couple of years ago and his mother called in. Howard said that he had a strange reaction and he left the studio and went to the bathroom and started to sweat. He thought it was a bit at the time but Gary said that it wasn't a bit, he was really freaking out.
Richard said that his mother passed away in 1999 and he was afraid that his mother was going to have a nervous breakdown on the air so that's why he freaked out. He said that he wasn't able to handle Howard himself and his mother wouldn't be able to handle it.
Richard said that he didn't get along with his mother and she didn't understand his humor. He said that she wasn't exactly his target market either. He said he didn't give a fuck if she knew him or not but Howard thinks that he did care about that.
Artie had some fun goofing on Richard and taking some digs at his comedy career. The two of them shot back and forth with some jabs. Howard said that he wasn't a fan of ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' but he thinks that Richard is good on the show. Richard said he went to summer camp with Larry David but they became best friends later on in life. Howard said that Larry David made Tia Carrera Richard's girlfriend on the show and the critics said that there was no way he'd be able to get her in real life. Richard said he didn't read that.
Artie threw in a few more jabs at Richard and Richard told him he was on fire today. Howard asked Richard if he got to make out with Tia on the show. Richard said that Larry doesn't write any love scenes for him so he doesn't get to do that. That led to Richard talking about how he used to pray for a make out scene with Jamie Lee Curtis when he was doing his TV show with her. He said that his wife is right when she says that he must get excited when he does sex scenes.
Gary read a couple of articles about Richard on ''Curb'' and there are a lot of people who seem to dislike him because they all bash him.
Howard asked Richard if he has a pre-nup with his wife. Richard said that he doesn't think so and then said that this is where he gets into trouble on the show when he goes into this kind of stuff. Howard said that Paul McCartney said the same thing when he was on the show and look at him now. Paul didn't think that he needed a pre-nup either.
Richard told Howard that he gave his wife the worst proposal ever. He said he was looking out the window as he was half naked one time and said ''I guess I have to...'' and she knew what he was talking about and said okay.
Howard started taking some phone calls and Richard said he knew that things were going to go down hill from there. The first caller brought up Richard's drug problems so they got back to that. They figured out that it had to be crystal meth that he was talking about earlier.
Richard said that he was out to dinner one night with Ron Wood from the Rolling Stones and ended up going to the bathroom for 2 hours doing the meth. Artie said that crystal meth is a good drug to use if you need to walk to St. Louis one weekend. Richard thought that he had ripped off that one from someone else but Artie told him ''That's all me jerk off.'' The two of them kept taking jabs at each other but Artie was laughing his ass off and just having fun with it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Richard if he's 60 yet. The caller said he was 60 too and they're both old people. He said that he just wanted to let Richard know he loves him and he'd like the interview better if Robin and Artie would shut up.
Another caller asked Richard how many women he's been with. Richard said he didn't know and who the fuck cares anyway. Richard said he went out with one woman for 4 months and he had no recollection of it at all. He also said that he cheated on just about every woman he dated and he had to call some of them and apologize for that.
Howard asked Richard if it was true that he was signing autographs while his mother was being lowered into her grave. Richard said that there were a couple of guys there who were fans of his and while they were lowering her casket into the ground, he went over and told the guys that they were doing a great job.
Howard asked Richard about doing Letterman and what happened to them. Richard said he's going to be on again in April. He said that Dave is a pretty reclusive cat. Howard said that it sounded like Dave wanted to get together with him for dinner but he thinks that Dave is as fucked up as he is so he's not sure how that would work out.
Richard said that he forgot to go on his honeymoon so he took her to Rome just recently. He said he had a great time over there.
Howard asked Richard what he thinks about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Richard said that he's not a fan of what he's doing and he's not a fan of the republicans in general. He said that he's not going to say who he's for because he doesn't want to ruin it for the person he's backing. He said he's got a lot of haters out there who might get upset and not vote for them. Howard said that he's backing Hillary Clinton. Richard said that he's going to back whichever democrat that he has to and he'll kill himself to try and get them into office.
Howard asked Richard if he's still addicted to phone sex. Richard said that he used to be but he's not into that like he was in the past. He said that once you cum you can go and work on your material and do whatever you need to do without being distracted.
Howard asked Richard what kind of stuff he'd say to these women that he was talking to in the phone sex things. Richard demonstrated what he'd do as Howard was pretending to be a phone sex operator. He said something about Howard being a pig farmer and showing him his cunt while they were doing that.
Howard took a call from Double A who said that Richard is great and this interview is great. Howard thanked him for that and took another call. The next guy said that he liked Richard in ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' when he had his kidney problem in season 5. Another caller said that this is a good interview and said he loves Artie. The guy also said that he loves that Subutex stuff that Artie uses.
Richard asked Artie if he sells his DVDs when he's at his comedy shows. Artie said that he doesn't do it, he has a girl who does it for him. Richard said he's going to talk about Artie all weekend while he's doing his shows at Comix. He said he doesn't want Artie showing up at his show and stealing more material from him. That led to Artie talking about how Richard inspired him to get into stand-up comedy and he's able to remember some of his material.
Richard said that it's creepy that Artie can repeat his jokes. He was ready to throw some stuff at Artie if he told the jokes verbatim. Robin asked Richard if he thinks that Artie should be in therapy. He said that Artie should be on a gurney at this point.
Artie said that he was being very complimentary with Richard and he's not sure why he's getting so upset. Richard said that he's been fucked over by so many people that he can't trust anyone. Artie couldn't believe that he was saying that to him. He said that he wasn't the one being weird. Howard said that he thinks that it all goes back to Richard's mother and his hate for her.
Artie said that Richard was on the show one time and told a story about his mother. He was going to repeat the story but Richard was getting all uncomfortable. Artie went on to tell the story about his mother making an appearance in a movie he was in and how his mother wanted to keep her dress nice that she was wearing in the scene so she asked him not to tug too hard when he pulled her out of a hole she was stuck in.
Artie told another story about Richard doing this joke on Letterman one time. He told that joke and Richard said that it was one joke he did one time. He said that he doesn't take compliments very well. Howard said that Artie was eating up all of his time too.
Howard asked Richard if he's healthy enough now that he can say goodbye before hanging up. Richard said that he used to do that because he wanted to go out on a laugh.
Howard gave Richard a plug for his book that's being reissued. Artie asked if he already had the book, could he get just the 4 and a half pages. Richard told him ''it's a reissue you fuck...'' Howard told Richard that he wants to take him and his wife out to dinner when he's in town. Howard said that they can do that and they don't need to wait until April to do it. Richard took his headphones off and started to leave before Howard was even done wrapping up with him. He went to break a short time later.
Howard moved Mike along to his game so here's how it goes...Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard said that he does need to try and get a dialog going with a guest and when Sal piles in hie wants to bash his head into the ground. Ralph said that Richard deserves 110 percent respect when he comes on the show. Artie said that Sal did that to Jon Stewart one time too. He said that he really insulted Richard when he was there and that's just not right. Howard said he'd feel like crap if he was on Letterman and someone came in and said the only good thing he did was that show. Howard couldn't even remember what it was that Sal came in there for.
Howard said he doesn't know how to solve this for him. Big Foot said that he got kicked out into the snow yesterday and he needs help up in Newport, Vermont. He wants a camera crew to come up there and help him out with this stuff. Robin asked him if he thinks that it could be him that's causing the problems. Big Foot just kept going and complained about all of this stuff that he's got going on in his life.
Howard had to hang up on him and then took another call from a guy who talked about why he had to leave his wife because he was such a mess. He had a strange voice and Howard said that he had to get out of there after hearing all of this. the guy said that after hearing that Summer Verona on the show he got a hard on after years of not having one and he got his wife to come back to him when he got that boner. Howard said he just had to get out of there.
Jon Hein came in and ran through the stuff they're going to cover today on the Wrap Up Show. They're going to talk about Richard Lewis, Lisa Rinna, Artie feeling better, Eric the Midget, Howard's deal, Artie's reality show and more. Howard said that the show seemed to be jam packed full of good stuff today after hearing what Jon was going to talk about.
Howard said that Elephant Boy is going to be hosting Superfan Roundtable tonight so he had him on the phone to promote that. Elephant Boy said something but I didn't understand much of what he said. Maybe it'll be easier to understand him tonight at 7 on Howard 101. He gave out the names of the people on the show but no one understood a word he said.
Robin read through some stories and had one about a guy who claims to be the illegitimate child of John F. Kennedy. That led to Howard doing his Ted Kennedy impression and goofing around with the Kennedy stuff for a few minutes. Artie and Fred got in on that a little bit as well.
Robin brought up the new Indiana Jones movie that's coming out in May. She said that they aired the new trailer for the movie this morning on Good Morning America. She read a story about how they want to have a body farm down in Texas where scientists will be able to study decomposing human bodies. They spent a minute on that before Howard had to go to break around 10:40am.
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made to a phone sex line using Hate Man audio clips. Robin came back and got back into the story about the body farm and about the Body World exhibit where they show real human bodies. She said that some of the bodies may have come from people who were slaves in China. Howard saw that exhibit and he was told that they were all volunteered bodies.
Robin read a story about the world's fattest man who has lost hundreds of pounds of his 1000 pound body. Artie said that he can't imagine what it must be like to weigh that much, even at the weight he's at. He said that guy would love to be at his weight.
Robin read a story about fast food and what it's doing to human bodies. It's damaging people's livers and putting weight on people. The study found that it's not just about the weight anymore, it's damaging internal organs. Artie said he can't imagine what his liver must be like at this point. Robin told him he should go check out that Body World exhibit. Artie said he'd do that. Right after lunch.
Robin read a story about the XM and SIRIUS merger and how it could be approved at any time now. Howard said they've heard that many times over the past year and it still hasn't happened.
Robin read a story about OJ Simpson's girlfriend ending up in the hospital with a severe head injury and no one is sure how it happened. The anonymous call said that she had ''fallen down.''
Robin covered the Roger Clemmens story which got Howard back on that subject for a few minutes. He'd covered it earlier in the morning and went over it again saying that he really thinks that Congress is wasting their time with this nonsense. They had some audio clips of his testimony that they quickly played.
Robin had a story about President Bush suggesting that people go out and spend some money to give the economy a boost. Robin talked about the end of the writer's strike, played some audio clips. She brought up a story about John Ritter's family suing the doctors who diagnosed him, or failed to diagnose him correctly. She had some clips of Henry Winkler talking about John's death and how much they miss him.
Howard said that it sounds like John Ritter had a massive something going on and he just died. He's not sure what the doctors did or didn't do wrong.
Robin had some audio clips of some talk shows announcing that the writer's strike was over. She had clips from The Colbert Report and The Tonight Show. Artie heard Jay's joke about it and said that they're obviously not back yet. Robin pointed out that David Letterman has had his writers for a while now and he still wasn't able to beat Jay Leno in the ratings.
Robin had some clips from American Idol and that led to Howard talking about this odd thing that goes on between Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. He said that Simon will say something and Paula will repeat it for the rest of the show. He said that she waits to see what he says and then they react to it and repeat it.
Robin read a story about a guy who killed a psychiatrist in his office. She also read a story about Rachel Bilson since she's in a new movie called ''Jumper.'' Artie and Howard talked about how hot she is for a short time. Artie said that she's in GQ magazine and looking really hot. They wrapped up a short time later and ended the show around 11:20am.
Jon started off taking a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that he had a poem that he wanted to read for Robin but Howard never picked up his call. Jon let him do his thing. He read the poem which was about how he wanted to cum in her.
Gary came in and congratulated him on that great poem. Jeff gave him a ''Jesus Christ...'' when he heard that. Jon asked him what he's doing for Valentine's day today. Jeff said ''Um, nothin.'' He's going down to the Borgata to do Artie's comedy show this weekend. The show is sold out and there will be 3,000 people there. Jeff said he can handle it. Teddy asked him not to sweat so much this time. Jeff said he'd see what he could do.
Gary asked Jeff if he has a girlfriend or anything going on. Jeff said he hasn't had one in a while. Jon said that maybe he'll be able to find someone down at the Borgata. Jeff actually said goodbye to them before they said goodbye to him.
Gary and Will said that they think that Kendra is full of shit and she's not for real. Gary said that he feels really bad for Eric and he thinks that things are going to turn out not that well. Jon said that he felt really bad or Eric this morning during that call. He's all excited about the whole thing and they're afraid that he's going to get hurt.
Gary said that he's really worried about Eric because he's one of those guys who has never had his heart broken. Jon said that he hopes that they end up being happy and that Kendra doesn't crush him.
Benjy said that they seem to be looking at Eric like there's no way a chick could be into him. Gary said that they just don't believe Kendra. Benjy said that he thinks that she was being sincere with the whole thing but Gary disagreed. Will said that they're not going to become a couple and the idea of that is ludicrous. Benjy said he thinks they could become a couple. Gary said that they'll see how this plays out and he thinks that Benjy will be wrong.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Kendra was being very defensive and he took that as her lying about the stuff that she was saying about Eric. The caller wondered why they let that go on and didn't call her out on that whole thing. The caller thinks that she's really going to hurt Eric.
Benjy asked what they think the long term plan is. Will said he thinks that she's hoping that Kendra's joke outlives Eric so he can be happy the rest of the time he's alive. Benjy was still arguing that he thinks that they're really getting along and Kendra isn't trying to scam Eric.
Jon said that the theory in the office is that she's like a stripper who pretends to be into a guy at the strip club. That led to Gary talking about a friend of his who got a phone number from a hot stripper one time and it turned out to be a fake number. She had the guy fooled and that's what Gary is thinking Kendra is doing with Eric.
Benjy didn't like the way that Richard treated Artie when Artie was talking about what a big fan he was. Artie said that a lot of that was just kidding around though. Gary said that he thinks that there was some truth in what he was saying. Artie said he thinks that Richard is just an emotional basket case like so many comedians are. He said he wasn't insulted or offended by what he said to him at all.
Gary said that Richard was up for just about anything, except for when Sal came in. That led to Jon talking to Sal about what went on there. Gary said that Sal didn't come to him before he went in there. He said that Sal told him he went to Will instead. Gary said that Will isn't Gary though.
Sal said he went to Will and Will thought it was good enough to bring it up in there. Sal said that it wasn't the right time and he realizes that now. He said that he remembers that Champagne rap that Richard did on the show years ago and that's why he wanted to bring it up. He explained how he remembered it and how Richard didn't bring up any other booze or drugs back then. He was just trying to back up Howard in that whole thing.
Sal said that he did insult Richard when he went in there and told him he only liked him on ''Curb'' but he didn't mean to ruffle his feathers as much as he did.
Will said that he thought it was funny that Sal went in there and did that. He said that Ralph is a douche because he calls in and brings interviews to a grinding halt as well. Sal said that Ralph has done that a bunch of times.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal has never learned his lesson about this stuff. Gary told the guy that if Sal does learn his lesson, he's going to be fired. That's the great thing about Sal, he doesn't know when to stop.
Artie said that when Howard is goofing on someone they think that Howard hates them but he really doesn't. He loves Richard Lewis and he's just having fun with him. The caller said that he thinks that Howard just wanted to get out of there today and Sal is lucky that Howard didn't get more pissed off than he did.
Sal said he was just trying to back Howard up and he didn't mean to offend Richard the way he did. The guys talked about what Sal did yesterday while Flo Rida was in there. They said that what Sal and Richard were doing yesterday was just a bit while today was a little bit more of a personal attack. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Will said that he will put up a subject but he doesn't always stick to it. Ralph said that he will bring stuff up once in a while that Will doesn't know he's going to bring up. Will said that Richard Lewis going off on Sal was kind of funny. Gary thought it was kind of funny too.
Ralph also brought up the Erica Durance interview where Sal and Richard made her cry. Sal said that he and Richard were told to go in there by Doug Goodstein to liven things up a little bit. They went in and asked her to take her top off. That's all they were doing when she got upset and started crying but he's not sure if that happened because of what they did or the whole thing that was going on in there.
Ralph said that Sal really did luck out today because Howard didn't hang him like he would have on other days. Sal said he learned his lesson there.
Sal said that he thought that Richard Lewis was the weakest link compared to some of the other guys who were on. He thinks that's why Richard stopped coming on the show over the years. He said that Richard was excellent today but he's really not a fan of his in general.
Sal said that he could smell bullshit from a mile away and that's why he went in there today. He said that Richard talked about the champagne thing many years ago and they ended up goofing on him during that interview and Richard never made any references to any other kind of booze.
Artie found it odd that Sal was comparing the Erica Durance interview to Auschwitz when he was describing why he went in there to liven things up.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he liked that Lisa Rinna interview. Gary said that he thought she was awesome in that respect. They were talking about some great stuff and he realized that when he saw her people in the green room with their heads in their hands.
Jon went to another call and that guy asked Artie about being out sick and if he gets a bad vibe from Howard. Artie said he does but he thinks that Howard realizes that if he reams him a new asshole, it might affect him on the show for the rest of the day, so he doesn't ream him. He said that Howard will say some stuff to him about that stuff but they get out of it pretty quick. He said that's the show and you just have to roll with the punches. The caller said that he thinks that Howard kind of ignores him a little bit once in a while and just stays silent when he tells jokes and stuff. Artie said he knows that and it's a tough room to bomb in. He said he remembers the jokes that bombed and nothing else. They had to end the show after that.
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Howard started the show talking about what they had coming up today. He said he's been checking the law books lately to see what kind of punishment an adulterer can get. He said that he's going to be calling the New York District Attorney to try and get Frank Gifford arrested for what he did to Kathie Lee. He said that he was caught on tape so he has proof of it and he thinks he may be able to get him thrown in jail.
Robin said that she's glad he's doing this because there was a woman who was thrown in jail for something like that not too long ago and there's no reason a man shouldn't go to jail. Howard said he will be doing that later in the morning and asked Gary to get the number ready for him.
Howard said that Mia Farrow thanked him for having her on the show because her book orders tripled after she was on. He said she found out what kind of power his show really has. He said that Meg Ryan might think that she's on top now but the wall is coming her way soon.
Howard said that Gary tried to get Steve Martin on the show years ago and his publicist laughed at him and told him that they'd never get any stars of that caliber on the show. He said that they pointed out that they've had a lot of A-list celebrities on the show but that doesn't change things. Gary said that he hasn't heard from her for years but he's heard that she's working for a tiny company now and not working with Steve Martin anymore. He said that she tried to book her boss on the show one time and he turned it down. Howard told him he should have told her that they'd never have a guest of that caliber on the show. Fred played the Robert De Niro laugh from Cape Fear as they were talking about the publicist making it sound like he was laughing at her.
Howard told Gary to get him Meg Ryan's mother so he can talk to her. He said that most of these publicists are in their 20s and the only reason they were hired is because they're good looking. He said that there's a way to reject things and not be disrespectful like that publicist is. He went off on her for a few more minutes and told her not to give him attitude like that.
Howard said that today he's going over to Penthouse to do a shoot over there. He said that he may have to cheat some day and he's thought about doing that every day of his life, 24 hours a day. He said that he'd love to be with another woman and he always thinks about doing that. He said that he'd like to be able to get away with something like that but he knows that won't happen. He said that eventually you must stop caring and just go out and do it.
Howard said he got a letter in the mail from a woman who was complaining about how she looks and how much she's in love with him. He said that she loves the way he looks and she'd like to be in the studio with him and just talk to him. He said that he wouldn't mind being out on the town seen with her.
The caller cut him off and said that he likes the show and wanted to say hello to Robin too. He told Howard that he has so much. Howard cut him off and said he'd love to be able to take this woman on a private jet and hang out with her.
Howard said that Larry King has this hot chick he hangs out with when he's out and that guy looks like a frog with beady little eyes of his. He said that the girl is into the trappings of Larry King and he gets to hang out with her. He said that Stuttering John went over there and there wasn't one single person in the store for him, yet the girl was still impressed with the guy.
Howard said that he could have people with names if he was able to go out and date. He said that he could have them all. Howard said that he has the temptation and he's cracking from it. He said that he could end up doing something like Frank Gifford did. He said he's not going to be a phony like Gifford was though.
Howard said that Giff didn't wear a rubber and that's one of the things that irks him about the whole thing. He said that if Kathie Lee had any balls she'd leave the guy. He figures that's not going to happen though.
After another edited out break Howard played some audio from Hard Copy where they talked about his comments about Frank Gifford. They had some clips of him talking about Frank and what went on with him.
Howard complained about the music they were playing while they had his audio playing on that show. They even had an exclusive comment from him that they got in an interview. They also talked about how upset Kathie Lee was about the whole thing.
Howard talked about some of the other people he met while he was over there. He did a TV show over there that's the biggest show on TV and they do it live. He was on with the Fugees. He said that he was up all night because they have constant partying going on out there and it goes on all the time.
Howard said he forgot to bring his white noise machine over to France with him and he wasn't able to sleep. He said that he called his wife and told him he forgot it and got all upset about that. He asked her to overnight it to him and it cost him $500. He said he tried to find one over there but didn't have any luck. He said he was going to have his assistant Jody stand there and just go ''Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'' to make the white noise for him.
Howard said he was talking to the guys from the Fugees and they gave him a copy of their new album that's in the works and he said it was really good. He said the chick in the band is hot and she's got skin that's chocolately smooth. He said she's like a chocolate cupcake. He said it's like ''cheatin' skin'' because he'd like to cheat with her.
Howard said he got on this show in France and they had a translator talking in his ear and this translator was trying to tell him what they were talking about and it was a nightmare. He said that they were asking him stuff and he had a hard time following what was going on. He demonstrated what it was like by having Robin speak and talking over her. He said it was the most schizophrenic thing he's ever heard.
Howard said that he thought he did really bad on the show but some guy out on the street told him he did fine. He said that the guy told him that Bruce Willis was on that show recently and he wasn't able to answer one question.
Howard talked about how there were some paparazzi out there and they were calling out to him to turn around but they were saying cuckoo to him as if he were crazy or something. He said he hates the French and had no desire to be over there.
Howard said he was in the middle of a press junket and there was a German guy there asking him about why he bad mouths the Germans. He talked about what the thought of them and the way they acted during World War II. He also said that some French people were asking him about hating them as well. They had to go to break a short time later.
Howard said that Stuttering John got fired from his radio show there at K-Rock. He read some mail and faxes they got about that. He said that some people are happy that John is off the air now. He got a job offer from someone who said that he can lick his shoes and drive his car for $2 an hour.
Howard said there's a new religious group after him that's based in San Diego. He said that they sent his advertisers letters basically saying that he's Satan. He said that they actually list everything bad that he does every day. He read some of the stuff they pointed out. On the list there were a few Jesus references and a couple of people who showed up with cigarettes in their butts. There were a bunch of other references that Howard and Robin didn't even recognize. Robin said that they don't cover that many topics in an hour. The group had everything broken down per hour but it was hard to tell if they really did all of that stuff.
Howard got a few laughs reading the notes that these people had about him. They had more notes from the next day and a few other days that they were listening to. Howard and Robin said that they'd like to hear some of those shows that they're describing. Howard figured they could get a couple million more listeners if they just posted all of that stuff in the paper.
The next caller said that he has a sister who wants to date black guys and he doesn't want her doing that. He said that his sister is into this one guy who is a rapper and smokes weed and he doesn't want that for her. Howard told the guy that a lot of Hispanic girls are into that and that's the way things are. Howard told the guy to do a lot of drinking if he's not happy with the way things are going.
Another caller asked Howard if he's thought about putting out an uncensored E! show tape. Howard said he'd like to do that some day. He'd also like to do that with the WOR show tapes but they won't let him have access to them.
Howard said that they have something interesting going on with the E! show and the cubing out of the breasts. He said that they were told that if you slow down the tape, you can catch some frames that aren't cubed out. Gary said that if you have a VCR that can go frame by frame, there are 2 frames that aren't cubed out. Howard said that's like pay dirt and if you really want to see the stuff going on during the show, you can do that.
The guys ended up talking about Kathie Lee and what she must be like in bed. Howard figured that she's not into doing a lot of wild stuff. He figured that when she does give oral, she must not like doing it. He said that every place on her body is considered a ''bad place'' and she won't even do it doggy style. Robin thinks that Kathie Lee did it all before they got married. Howard said he doesn't believe that. He said that there are some religious freaks out there who never get into sex and they're really uptight about everything.
Howard had some clips of Frank and Kathie Lee talking about their kids during a Barbara Walters interview. Frank said that he didn't want to have any kids but once they did he was fine with it. Kathie Lee ended up breaking down and crying during that.
Howard wasn't sure how it worked and wanted to know how he can file the claim and get him arrested. He said he was being serious about it but the cop didn't seem to be taking him seriously. Howard said that he was in contact with a lawyer who told him that they do have proof now and it is actionable. He said he wasn't making this up and he wanted to know how they can make it happen.
The cop asked Howard what he's looking for that he's willing to do this. Howard said that it'll make him look like a crime fighter and it'll make him look better to some people in the area. Howard said that he swears that he had a lawyer look into this whole thing and there is a law on the books about adultery. The cop said that it was unconstitutional to arrest someone for something like that.
The cop wasn't being very cooperative with Howard and thought that he didn't have any right to have this guy arrested. He told Howard to just tell the guy's wife about what he did. Howard and Robin said that she already knows so that's pointless. Howard said that he swears to him that there is a law about this on the books. The cop didn't seem to believe it.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that the cop should know that this is on the books. He explained to the cop what was going on but the cop said that what goes on behind closed doors is their business. Dominic said that it's under section 60.17 so Howard gave that to the cop and asked him to look into it. The cop still wasn't cooperating with him.
Dominic called in and asked if they could have Stuttering John make a citizen's arrest with him. The cop told Howard it's not enforceable in New York State. Dominic told the cop that they can enforce it but the cop disagreed. They said they really had to go but Howard wanted to talk to the Lieutenant about it before they left. The cop said that he had to go before he got fired. He hung up a short time later.
Howard read from the penal code that Dominic had sent over to them. The code made it sound like they could arrest him for adultery.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he would go over and arrest Frank now. He had read the penal code, under 255.17, and said that he works in Queens and he'd be able to arrest him. Howard asked the guy if they could put Stuttering John in the car with him and send him over and do that. The cop suggested that they go over and file a complaint first. The cop agreed that they would have to accept the complaint too. He said that it is a crime. Howard got all fired up and started laughing like a little kid when he heard that.
Howard called Stuttering John in and told him that he's going to go over to the 19th precinct and file a complaint under a ''61'' that the cop suggested. The cop had to get going after that and gave them an F-Jackie before getting off the phone.
Howard and the guys spent a few more minutes talking about that whole thing. Howard sounded very excited about what they were going to be doing and how they were going to have the guy arrested for something like that. Howard wanted to be on the phone with John when he went down to fill out the form to file the complaint.
Howard said that he got really excited when he figured out that he could actually do this to Gifford. He said he loves it. He said he hopes that Dominic is going to be available if they need his advice on all of this. He let him go a short time later and then went to break.
Howard's mother Ray called in after that and said that what he's doing is very wrong. She said that this is not a game and it's not his business. She said she thinks that he's wrong and she had to protest. She said that she's not kidding about this and she thinks that what he's doing is wrong. She asked him why he thinks that he has to be the one who does this.
Howard said that someone has to file the complaint. Ray said that what Howard is doing is wrong. She said that they'll discuss this later off the air. Howard said that he's 43 years old and he's not calling her and he's going to do what he wants. She told him that he's doing wrong and that's why she's there on this earth. Howard asked her why she's still on this earth anyway. He said that most people who are 43 don't have parents that are alive.
Ray asked Robin what she thinks of all of this. She said that it wasn't her idea, she didn't come up with it. Howard said he didn't understand his mother's point. He said that a crime was committed and he wants to report it. It was as simple as that. Ray said that it's not her son's job to do this type of thing. Howard wondered what his job was because he wasn't sure. She didn't know either.
Howard and his mom spent a couple of minutes going back and forth about that before Stuttering John called in from the police station. Howard's dad got on the phone too and told Howard that he feels that he's just compounding a pain that those people are going through and they have no business getting involved.
Stuttering John walked into the police station and told them what he wanted to do. They said the captain would be out in a minute so Howard told John that he might end up getting arrested himself. While John was waiting there, Melrose Larry Green went in and started causing a commotion inside. John told the cops that he didn't know who he was and they should kick him out. Melrose continued to yell and cause a problem there.
John said that he was still waiting for someone to come out even though there were like 30 cops there in the front. Howard put John on hold for a short time and then got back to him when the Captain finally spoke to him. John told Howard that they aren't allowed to file the complaint, it would have to come from Kathie Lee. Howard said that he might have to send a lawyer down there with John to get this to work.
Howard asked to speak to the Captain but he didn't want to get on the phone. Howard said he'd have to talk to Dominic again about this whole thing.
After an edited out commercial break Howard had Dominic Barbara back on the phone and asked him what they should do. Dominic said that they are the complainant and they should be allowed to fill out a 61 incident report at the least. Howard told John to get the form and they'll fill it out down there at the station and send it into the D.A.'s office.
Howard said he thinks that this marriage will only last another 6 months before they file for divorce. He and the guys placed some bets on that.
Stuttering John called back and said that the Captain wouldn't even give them the form to take back to fill out. He wasn't happy about the whole thing. Howard wondered what was up with that and why he was giving him a hard time about that. John said he thinks that the Captain's hands are tied and that's why he wasn't giving it up. John said he'd go by the D.A.'s office and pick up the form there instead. Howard told him to go ahead and do that.
Howard said that he just wants to see Frank out there in an orange jumpsuit cleaning up Central Park or something. He said he'd love to supervise that too.
Howard said that he's commissioned a bust of himself to be made so he can go up there and present it to the school himself. He said he actually called them up there and demanded that they hang his picture up there but they refused to do it.
Howard had the Dean of Boston College on the phone so he got him on and told him he's kind of bothered by the fact that they ignore him up there. He said that he's the most distinguished graduate up there and they still ignore him. He said that he's done books, film, TV and radio and he's very successful. The Dean agreed but joked about what was going on there. Howard said he didn't appreciate that.
The Dean asked Howard to come up there and make an appearance but Howard said that he's not going to do that until John Silber changes his tune about him. He said that when a school of communications has a really successful guy like him and then ignores him, it's just not right.
Howard said that they were giving them a picture that someone had painted of him and he wants to see that they hang it on the walls up there. He said that he graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1976 and he's proud of that. Howard told the guy not to treat him like some kind of punk.
Howard said that he'll be there when they stop patronizing him and stop ignoring him. The Dean said that the students up there would like him to come up and visit but Howard said he wants to be honored up there and not ignored like they've been doing.
Howard went off on the guy for a few minutes about what he had just done. He goofed on the guy about what he was asking him to do by coming up and spinning some records for them. He said that he has no desire to have to kiss that guy's ass to get his picture on the wall.
Howard read an article about some radio hall of fame nominees and complained about the people on the list for a while. He said that Rick Dees was on the list and said that guy is just like Casey Kasem or Dick Clark. He said the guy laughs are himself and anything he says. He did an impression of what Rick Dees does on his show and made fun of him for a couple of minutes.
Howard read through some of the other names on the list and goofed on them saying he didn't even know who some of them were. He said that the whole industry wants to act like he never existed.
Howard said that if he was going to play a villain in a Batman movie, he'd shave his head down and be the scariest villain ever.
The caller asked Howard if he would ever make fun of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Howard said that if he did something humorous he would do that. He just doesn't think that there's anything to make fun of there.
A caller asked what happened with Zach the Intern after he streaked through the studio. Howard said that they had to let him go because he can't have people that out of control running around there. He said Zach went on a TV show and bad mouthed him after they fired him to and he's not going to forget about that.
Howard said that if the other interns want to get naked, they can ask and come in and do it. He said that the girl who replaced Zach is the daughter of an astronaut so that's pretty cool. Howard said he kind of liked Zach when he was there. Gary said he doesn't like him after he went on that TV show and talked about the firing the way he did.
Howard and Gary talked about the new intern and brought her in a short time later. Her name was Amy. Howard asked her about her father and what he did when he was an astronaut. She said that his name was Dick Covey and he had gone into space 4 times. She said that he was on the first mission after the Challenger blew up. She said she was scared for him when he went up again.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Amy about her father's flights into space and things like that. She said that she thinks the longest time he was ever up there was 10 days in a row. Howard asked if he ever went up to the space station with the Russians or anything. She said she didn't think he had. Howard said it's pretty cool that they have an astronaut's daughter working there. He joked that they have Jack Ruby's daughter starting there next week.
Howard said that no woman with little children should ever be up in the Space Shuttle like some have. Howard said that he wouldn't want his wife going up there if he had little kids. Howard congratulated Amy and her father for what he's done in his life. He said she was a very nice girl and checked out her ass as she was walking out of the studio. He said that Volleyball really pays off. He went to break a short time later.
Heloiza talked about some stuff that she's heard about going on down there but she wasn't so sure that they were true or not. Howard said that the stories didn't exactly make him want to go down there. She talked about how there's a whole generation of kids who were born out on the streets and have never known what it's like to live in a home.
Howard wondered how the movie is going to be shown down there, with subtitles or dubbed. Heloiza said that it's going to have subtitles. Howard said that the French saw his movie with subtitles and they were laughing their asses off.
Steve Grillo came in and said that he has a friend who goes down to Rio De Janeiro to have sex with 14 year olds. He said that the guy is a bouncer at a bar and you can go down there and have a 14 year old for a whole weekend for $300. Steve said that the guy seems to be a nice guy until he talks about being with these 14 year olds. He said it's kind of creepy.
Howard and Heloiza talked about a lot of different things that are going on in Brazil and had some fun going back and forth with stories. Howard also told Heloiza about his movie and why the people down there should go see the movie.
Howard was also complimenting Heloiza on her looks and said he likes her ''mauve'' skin. Robin said that wasn't the right color for her. Howard wrapped up with Heloiza a short time later and told her to tell her people to go see his movie.
Gary told Howard that they had a guy on the phone who didn't think that Heloiza was representing her country very well. Howard said that he was just saying what he really thought of the country. The caller was from Brazil too and said that he shouldn't be bad mouthing his country. The guy said that Heloiza shouldn't be bad mouthing it either since she lives there. Howard cracked some more jokes about the country before he let the guy go. Howard talked a little more about the movie and let Heloiza go a short time later.
Howard had the guy that Grillo was talking about earlier on the phone. Howard said that this guy goes down to Brazil and gets 14 year olds. The guy said that he's had 17 and 18 year olds down there, he said that was exaggerated and he never had sex with any of them himself. He said that maybe some of them are lying but he thinks that they've been 17 and 18 years old. He said that it only costs $50 to $100 for a whole night to have the girls.
The guy said that the girls down there are very hot too, much hotter than the girls up there. He said he hasn't been down there since January. He doesn't have a relationship in New York right now. He said that he's kind of fat himself but he can have 2 or 3 girls a day in Brazil if he wants.
Howard told John to tell the assistant that they can't deny them the form and the right to file the complaint. He let John go and said that they were supposed to check on Kathie Lee today but Robin forgot to remind him about that.
Howard turned on the TV and said that Kathie Lee really looked cute today and he'd love to get that. Gary came in and told Howard that he just talked to Meg Ryan's mother's husband and he's supposed to call them back. Howard said he wants to get her mother on the phone to talk to her about her relationship with Meg since Meg's people turned down Gary's offer to have her on the show.
Howard had Robin get into her news after that. They also checked out some video of Kathie Lee from Regis and Kathie Lee. Howard said she really looked good today. Robin read a news story about Regis and Howard watched a little more of the show and then realized that she didn't look that good today. He ended up saying that she actually looked horrible.
Gary came in at one point and said that they're getting a lot of feedback about Kathie Lee and how odd she was acting on the show today. He said that she was sniffling and blamed it on some flowers and her allergies. There were a few other things that she was doing too like saying ''I love Diane Sawyer'' in the middle of the show for no apparent reason.
Stuttering John called again and said that he did get a copy of that form they have to fill out. He also said they suggested that they get a copy of the tape that The Globe had so they can move forward with the case. Howard said that he'll work on that. He was still laughing about going ahead with this whole thing. He said that he will work hand in chubby hand with Dominic to make this happen.
Robin read through some stories about Barbara Streissand, Jerry Seinfeld, Jiggs the Monkey who played Cheetah in the Tarzan movies and more. Howard said that the monkey seems to be doing even better than he is.
Gary said that the guy was willing to come in if they wanted to meet him. Howard told him to bring him in then. Don Buchwald came in with Rich Frank, the guy from C3. Howard said that Rich is a big guy and just about invented TV.
Howard asked Rich about this company of his and if he's part of Disney. Rich said that he used to be but not anymore. He said they now own 51 percent of E! TV. He said he just wanted to come over and say hello to Howard and the crew. He said that the ratings are great and he's just there to give them a little support. He said they hope he sticks around forever.
Howard asked Rich about what else he's done in the past. He said that he used to run Disney for a while, then he ran Paramount TV for a while. He went over some of the shows that they produced while he was there before. Howard let him go.
Gary came in with another Kathie Lee Gifford update and got Howard talking about her again. Howard seemed to be finding a lot of joy in trying to make her life more miserable. He still thinks that she's going to get divorced within 6 months or so.
Robin got back to her news after that. She had some various stories about a cop who was killed during a family dispute that he responded to, Millie the Dog dying, and one about a woman who fell to her death in a park in Utah. Howard said that a lot of things like that happen when couples go out hiking and the woman ends up falling off a cliff. He said that no one is accusing this guy of killing his wife but that kind of thing does happen once in a while.
Robin read some more stories and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 9:45am (Master Tape Theatre time).