|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard said that he was shaking in his boots when he found out that they had been fired. He said it felt like the end of the world for him and he didn't know if he'd ever work in the business again. Fred said you don't know if it's going to be the end when that happens.
We heard some clips from some news reports about Howard being fired from WNBC. John Hayes was the man who pulled the trigger. They were fired on September 30, 1985.
Host Jim Forbes talked about what was going on and then we heard from Ben Stern who said it turned out the be the best thing that could have happened to Howard. They didn't know that at the time though.
Howard said he didn't know if anyone was going to touch him after he got fired. His agent believed that he'd have no problem getting hired though. Howard's mom talked about how things worked out for Howard and how they always did for him. She said she didn't have any great concern about what was going to happen to him though. She said Howard was focused on what he was going to do after that but she wasn't worried and things all worked in his favor.
Jim said that Howard hit the news outlets within 24 hours of being fired. They went into some news reports about Howard being fired and had some audio of Howard talking about how he is ''God's gift to radio.'' They also talked about his questionable use of language on radio. Then they did some interviews with some people on the streets and had people talking about how obnoxious Howard was.
There were some clips of Howard talking to news reporters and talking about how no one was watching the news and how they didn't promote his appearance there. Howard was also asking that they not shoot him from the side as he does to this day. Howard goofed on one reporter about how little money he was probably making.
In another news report we heard Howard goofing on a reporter about his orange hair and things like that as they were trying to ask him about his firing. Howard was talking about how he was looking for a job and people could talk to his agent, Don Buchwald, if they wanted to hire him. Then Howard was talking about how hot some of the reporters there at the news channel were.
Howard did an interview with Larry King back then so we heard some audio from that. Larry talked about how wild Howard's show was and about his firing. Howard was asking to not be shot from the side there just like he was on the news programs. Larry asked Howard about why he was fired. Howard said he wasn't sure why he was fired. Then he told Larry about how he was fired and told that they had to cancel his radio show. He said he went into shock after that because it came out of nowhere. They said it was ''conceptual differences'' from what his agent found out. Howard told Larry about what he heard about why he was fired but he wasn't sure exactly what it was that did it.
Larry and Howard talked about the firing for a short time and then Howard asked Larry how he got on TV without a nose job. Howard wondered if he should get one as well. Howard said he was still under contract with WNBC and they had to pay him for 2 more years and he's not sure why this firing happened. Howard said he's very reasonable and was willing to listen to what they had to say. He said he didn't break any of the taboo things that he wasn't supposed to when he was there.
Larry asked Howard what he wanted to do for a show if he could get a new one. Howard suggested a Lesbian Dating Game. Larry sounded tickled over that.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about going on Bill Boggs' show and how he needed to get someone to help dress him and make him look better. That led to Robin hooking him up with this guy Mr. Ponte who helped find him some new clothes. He said that the guy was dressing him in white pants and a white shirt and making him look like a girl. Howard said he ended up with a velour pair of pants and a velour jacket. The jacket was yellow and the pants were black. He said he just wanted to look better on TV than he had been looking.
That clip led into a clip from the past few years where Howard talked about being on the Boggs show and how he walked in and had Shirley Hemphill laughing at him and talking about how people in Compton would fuck his ass up.
Jim Forbes was on again and said that Howard's outfit didn't get that much attention after Howard tied up Bill Boggs and took over the show. They had Bill in a current interview talking about what Howard did to him that night and how he was in a bondage outfit of some sort.
Next up we heard some audio of that Bill Boggs interview where Howard had Gary come out and help him out binding up Bill so he couldn't get out. They tied him up and said that Bill was going to be the one who had to escape like a magician would. They handcuffed him and Howard was saying that he had done it about two times before. Howard went on to gag Bill so he wasn't able to say anything. The audience were laughing their asses off as this was going on.
After the clip Howard talked about how much fun he had doing that. Bill Boggs said that people still mention that to him to this day. He said that it was a pretty wild sight back then and he was glad to be a part of his history on that level.
Next up we heard a clip from back at K-Rock when they all had embarrassing moments that they talked about. Robin talked about her having diarrhea when she was out that day when Howard was on the Bill Boggs show. Robin had promised to be there but she ended up having the about with diarrhea and wasn't sure if she could make it there. Robin went in her pants and she had to walk home with it in her pantyhose. She said she did end up going but had to throw out her pantyhose. Howard told her that it was hard imagining Robin doing that. Robin said she wanted to die that day. She was still there for him though. Howard told her she really could have stayed home.
Jim Forbes said that Fred, Gary and Al had to continue the show after Robin and Howard were fired from WNBC. Gary came on and said that they didn't fire him from NBC and they told Fred to stick around. Gary said that he had to read some trivia fact stuff for some bits they'd play on the station. He said that he'd go back and hang out in Howard's old office there during the day since he didn't have all that much to do.
Fred said that he had no prospects himself but he kept in touch with Howard. Howard said that he would keep Fred in mind when he had a chance to hire him again.
Al Rosenberg talked about how they tried to keep doing shows there to replace Howard but the show just didn't work. Al said that they tried doing something right away and it just wasn't going to work.
Gary said that they had Fred do shows with them but it was something that Fred didn't even think was a good idea. Fred talked about how it was a way to continue to have a paycheck for him but the shows weren't very good. He said that they were all there just trying to make some money. Gary said that Fred became Howard while Al was Robin.
Next up we heard a lame bit that Al, Fred and Gary did where they were singing a rap song about themselves. It went on for a very long time. Jim came back on and said it really did suck.
Jim Forbes talked about how Don Buchwald was out looking for someplace for Howard and Robin to work. they had Don talking about what he was doing back then trying to find the right job for Howard. He said there were a lot of people interested in hiring him. Don said that he threw out a number that was very high for what Howard did and he'd also ask for them not to make him go through what he had gone through with NBC. Don said the offers started coming in but Howard was very nervous so he had to tell him that it was going to take him some time to work out a deal.
Robin said that they didn't believe that he had found anything for them and didn't believe that anyone was even calling. Robin said that they came up with the live shows after that.
In the Larry King interview Howard talked about the live shows that he and his guys were going to be going out to do.
Howard talked about how he didn't believe that they were going to get any job offers and he was very nervous about that. He said he had to get a job because he didn't know where he was going to work. He booked a bunch of live gigs. He did the live shows and the first one was at the Candlewood Theater in Connecticut. He said it was horrible and he's not even sure what he did. He said it had to be horrible and the crowd must have been disappointed. He said he just winged it and didn't have them planned out at all.
Robin said those shows were kind of crazy. She said that she would go out into the audience and Howard could question the audience. She followed one guy to the bathroom as the guy went one time. She said she's sure she tried not to look.
We heard a clip from that Candlewood show after that. That's where Howard was up on stage and Robin followed the guy to the bathroom. The audio quality wasn't all that great but it was amazing they had the audio.
Howard talked about doing shows at Club Bene and some other places. Howard said he did some magic tricks. He said that they had fake blood and things were crazy. He said they really weren't that great though.
We heard another clip from a live show where Howard sawed a woman in half for his magic trick. They pretended that he had cut the woman for real and she started screaming when he cut her.
Gary said that Howard, Fred and Robin were doing the live shows but he wasn't part of it. He got to go to some of the shows but he wasn't part of them. Howard did introduce him to the crowd and he told Howard he really missed him a lot. The whole audience gave him a big ''Awww'' when he said he missed them.
Jim said that more live shows continued for Howard after that. Then Howard and Fred returned to Hartford where they started out together at WCCC. Fred said it was at some low powered channel there and they asked Howard to come out and host a show for them. Howard said that the show was probably horrible but they did ask him to do this show and everything kind of clicked for him. He said there were some hot women there and he was picking on people in the audience and it kind of went well. He said he's not sure if it ever even aired on TV.
We heard a clip from that Channel 20 show that Howard did up there. In the clip we heard Howard talking about the Bob Promise Ford dealer and speaking to some people in the audience. He joked about being homosexual lovers with one of the guys. Howard talked to a few guys about being his co-host and tried to have some fun with them. The guys didn't seem to have much of a sense of humor though.
Jim said that the limo driver who took Howard up to Hartford was Ronnie the Limo Driver. That's when Howard and Ronnie met for the first time. Ronnie talked about how he spent more time with Fred but they all got along really well that day. Fred talked about the big Playboy mud flaps that Ronnie had on his limo and also some other Playboy stuff that was in the car. Fred wondered who would ride in that car with that stuff on it.
Ronnie said that he did have some playboy mud flaps on it and some door knobs that were Playboy heads. He had Playboy napkins and colored water in the decanters in the limo to make it look nice. Ronnie said he had been a fan of Howard's so it was kind of cool to be able to hang out with them that day when he was driving them around. Ronnie said he didn't know Fred that well but he was a lot of fun to hang out with.
Howard said that Ronnie pitched the idea to be his limo driver and that's how he became his driver. That led to the two of them talking about how Ronnie wrote the letter to Don and Howard saying that it was written in Crayon. Ronnie said it wasn't in Crayon but he did write them a letter and he's still there 20-some years later. They went to break after that.
Howard said he had a job offer at KLOS in Los Angeles but he didn't want to move out there. He said that he knew that he could knock over Imus in a second if they put him on in the mornings against him. Howard said he kept asking Don to find him something.
Don Buchwald talked about what he was working on and trying to come up with for Howard but Howard and Robin kept pushing to get something quickly.
Howard said that he was still being paid by NBC but he wanted to get back to work. Howard said the whole thing was just frustrating.
Mel Karmazin came on and said that he may have known about Howard when he was on in Washington DC. He said that he became aware of him when he came to New York because of how big he was. He was a number 1 man in the afternoons on an AM station and that was extraordinary at the time. Mel said that AM radio was dead at the time so it was a big deal that Howard was as big as he was on an AM station. Mel talked about how he had accomplished something big by doing that because it allows you to go out and generate revenue. Mel talked about how Howard made his presence felt in a big way back then and they all knew about it.
Next up was Don talking about how one of his first calls was to Mel. He said that he knew that Mel liked Howard. Don said he told Mel he just had to pay up and make a deal and they'd get him on his station. Mel said that he couldn't believe that WNBC fired Howard. He said that the owners were able to use their first amendment rights just like Howard did so they terminated the program. Mel said it was a great opportunity for them to take Howard.
K-Rock Sales Manager Sam Benrubi came on and talked about how Mel told him that Howard was available but they were kind of scarred of taking him on. Mel talked about how he had Infinity Radio back then and they had about 6 radio stations and a tremendous amount of debt. He said that they were committed to the radio industry though and he wasn't afraid to hire Howard because of what people would think of him. He said he knew Howard could generate big money with advertising. He approached Don Buchwald and they eventually struck up a deal.
Don Buchwald said that he had represented almost everyone on Mel's stations at the time so he knew Mel well. He said that he knew that Howard was going to disrupt things at Mel's stations though. They eventually worked out a deal with Mel and Infinity.
Howard said that the rest is history after that deal was made. They were going to have Howard in the afternoons at the station and that worked out fine because Howard eventually went to mornings. Don said that some of the details of the deal he's going to save for his memoirs because he had some other stuff in mind at the time.
Jim said that Mel wanted to put something into Howard's contract as well. Mel said that Howard wasn't allowed to use the 7 dirty words or use his name, Mel Karmazin, on the air. Mel said that he wouldn't fire someone over using his name but he didn't want anyone to know who he was. He didn't want to be out there as a public figure.
Next up we heard a clip of Howard and Robin talking about their days at WNBC. In the clip Howard said that NBC was his lowest point because he really thought things were over for him. He said it caused a rift between him and Robin and things were just bad. Howard said that Don had come to him and told him that there would be people who wanted to hire him. Then he told him about Mel Karmazin wanting to meet with him. Mel owned WXRK, K-Rock, and this was going to be like his Shindler to the WNBC being a concentration camp. He spent a few minutes talking about that deal and how it worked out.
Howard's parents talked about how great the deal was because it kept Howard in the New York area so they could see their son all the time.
Jim Forbes said that the rest of the pieces fell into place after that and Howard was able to bring Fred over to K-Rock. Howard said he thinks Fred had to think about the deal first before he said yes. He had his own show at WNBC at the time so he had to think. Fred said that he wasn't sure if NBC would let him go at the time. He said it was a very awkward time for him. Fred said that he was the kid that was allowed to stay in school while everyone else was being expelled. Fred said that they weren't paying him a whole lot before the firing so he had to think about what he had to do to make a living.
Howard said he wanted to tell Fred that they were going to fuck him over eventually. He said that he couldn't believe that he'd entertain the thought that they'd keep him around. He didn't say that to Fred but that's what he was thinking. Howard said he knew that they were a bunch of cock suckers over at NBC but he couldn't tell Fred that.
Fred said that he was told they were going to get George Carlin to come in and replace Howard. Fred said that he was thinking that they'd offer him triple the money to stay there but that made him doubt that they even wanted him there. Fred said he had to think about making that move to K-Rock with Howard. He just had to figure out how to get out of NBC.
Howard said Fred eventually made the decision to come work with him again. Howard said he couldn't imagine doing the show with anyone else so he was happy about that decision. He thinks that Fred felt good about the decision as well.
Jim Forbes said that Gary and Al Rosenberg were the only two left behind at that point. Al said he knew he couldn't leave so he tried to keep Fred and Gary there. Al said he would have left too if Howard had asked him to come there too.
Gary said he got the call from Fred telling him that he had a new job at K-Rock. Gary said he didn't know that he was going to be working with Howard over there. Gary said that he congratulated Fred on the new job not knowing it was going to be with Howard. Then Fred told him that it was with Howard and Robin. Gary didn't know he was going to be left behind. Gary said he went to the press conference to see what they were going to say. Gary said Howard saw him there and said hello. Then that night he gave him a call and told him what was going on. Howard said he was luck to get Fred and Robin there but he'd bring Gary over there if he ever got the chance.
Gary said that was a cool call from Howard but he wasn't sure he'd ever hear from him again. Gary said he was ready to let it go and go find another job on his own.
Next up we heard a news report about Howard's new job at K-Rock about a month after he was fired from WNBC. Then we heard from Jay Thomas who was working at the station when Howard started there. They had him talking about what was going on with the station at the time when they flipped formats. Meg Griffin was also talking about what was going on since she was there at the time. They had Mark Coppola there too so he talked about what it was like at K-Rock at the time.
Meg talked about how there was a big buzz there at the station about how something big might happen but they really weren't sure. DJ Maria Melito also had a few things to say about those days since she was there at the time. They had some doubts about what Howard could do for a music station since he had a talk show.
Meg said that Allison Steele wasn't so sure it was going to work out for them and she wasn't happy about them hiring Howard. Meg said that she remembers being in the car one time listening to the station and listening to Howard and hearing him talking about Pete Fornatel's show and then said that they had his show Mixed Bag and Allison Steele's show ''Old Bag.''
The DJs from the station talked about how they found out about Howard coming to the station and being called into a meeting where they were told about it. Meg said that they were told that they were bringing him in to do a talk show and not a music show. Meg said that was way back in 1985 and she thought it was a smart idea because Mel and Tom Chiusano were behind the deal.
Tom Chiusano said that it was a big deal back then and he knew what was going on since he was involved with the conversations. He said that he was all for it back then. The show made it's debut on November 18, 1985. That would be their home for two decades after that.
Robin said she remembers going in and meeting Tom and Mel for the first time and how they had to get ready for whatever they were going to be. She said that they had to plan all of that stuff out but it was nice to be back at work and they were still all together.
Howard said he didn't remember the first day at K-Rock but in the past he always got sick on his first day. He said that by that time at K-Rock he was pretty comfortable being on the air so it wasn't that big of a deal.
Fred said that back then they felt that they had won in some way because they were back on the air. He said that NBC probably wished that they had gotten him out of the city and out to Utah or something. He said that it was a really good start for them back then.
Next up we heard a clip of the ''H.O.W.A.R.D. S.T.E.R.N.'' song and Howard doing his first show there at K-Rock. Howard said he was too busy to be doing radio. Howard was running his own equipment and pointed that out. He said ''God bless K-Rock'' and talked about how they were back on the air. Howard got a few minor complaints out of the way like not having his own office and not having very modern equipment. He made some kissing sounds and said he'd jam his tongue in K-Rock's throat if he could. He said he loves the place and the people at K-Rock.
Howard talked about the different atmosphere there at K-Rock and how much he hated working at WNBC. He said there were some people he liked there. Howard talked about some of the great people there at K-Rock and how much he appreciated them. He was talking about one woman there who he found attractive. He said that she was very cute and had ''pert breasts.'' Howard then complained about the microphone and said that he may have to leave the job if that keeps up.
After that we heard Gary talking about how bored shitless he was staying at WNBC. He said that he tuned in to hear Howard that day and closed his door so no one would know. He said that everyone's door there was closed when Howard was on and they'd open their doors when he'd go to commercial break. At one point Gary said that he picked up the phone and Howard was calling him to ask him to come work for him at K-Rock. He told Gary to call Tom Chiusano to get him into the building. Howard missed him within 11 minutes of doing the job and he wanted him back that quickly.
Howard said that he needed Gary right away because he knew how well he could do the job. Howard said Gary is able to get him information quickly and he doesn't tell him he can't get something done. He said he was a key player on the show and he's very lucky to have the guy. Howard said that Gary has only worked for him in a real radio job.
We heard another K-Rock show clip where Howard was talking about learning how to say K-Rock and how it was nothing like learning to say WNBC. Howard said he was thinking about calling the people over at WNBC to find out how they're doing after they canned him. Howard said that the music was good there at K-Rock and he wasn't hostile toward radio anymore. He said he figured he had screwed things up when he got fired from NBC but now he's feeling good.
Howard had been fired just 7 weeks before that clip and he wasn't sure how he felt about any of what was going on. Howard said he really didn't miss radio. He said that he thought he'd get a job on TV but now he's back on radio again. He said that he had to do radio and didn't have much of a choice. Howard talked about trying to learn the equipment there at K-Rock and how ''Earthdog'' Fred was there with him. He said that NBC didn't want Fred there but Fred wanted to leave NBC and work for him.
Jim had K-Rock sales manager Sam Benrubi talking about what it was like when Howard came to work there. Jimmy Fink, a DJ there at K-Rock at the time, talked about what Howard said to him the first time he met him. They also had Meg Griffin talking about how she had worked with Howard at WRNW years before the K-Rock thing. Meg said that things had changed since the days of WRNW and how he seemed much more shy back then. He had more of an identity at K-Rock and he was happy and happening by that time.
We heard a more recent clip from K-Rock where Howard and Robin were talking about Meg Griffin and Howard working with her at WRNW. Howard talked about how he was turned on by Meg back then. She came into the studio so Howard talked about how cute she was back then and how there was a lot of sexual tension between the DJs there. Howard said he would have liked to have gotten some of that tookie back then. He said that Meg should have latched on to him back then and she would be ''Meg Stern'' now.
Meg said that there wasn't any sexual tension with Howard back then. She said that she did find Howard to be funny and big brotherly at the time. She said that it wasn't a sexual thing at all. Meg said that she and Howard did fight a lot there at K-Rock but there was always a fondness between them.
In another K-Rock clip we heard Howard talking to Meg about how hot she was. Howard asked her if she would have ever slept with him. Meg said that wasn't for the listeners to know. Howard and Meg talked about him stealing her ex-husband's job. Howard denied that he did that. Meg said that she didn't think that he was stealing his job and she was happy when she heard that Howard was being hired there. Howard told Meg that he was happy they were working together and she must be regretting not hooking up with him when she had the chance. He said that he wanted her back then when they were working at WRNW. He let her go a short time later. He said that their General Manager was worried that they wouldn't get off on the right foot there. He said he was getting along with everyone just fine. Howard spent a little more time talking about Meg before they ended that clip and went to break.
After that we heard Jim talking about the way they didn't want history to repeat itself there at K-Rock. Tom Chiusano talked about the way things were supposed to work there and how Mel was going to have a regular discussion with Howard. Mel talked about that and how he thought Howard was doing amazing things for the company. He said he thinks that he sucked up to Howard pretty well back then. He knew where his bread was being buttered.
We heard an old K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin were talking about their comeback and how they felt it coming on. Robin said that it was going to be fun to take over this station if they did get ratings. Howard said they'd be able to fire people if they got ratings. Howard said the company is small and they'd give them just about anything if they do bring in the ratings.
In the clip Howard was talking about how he literally got shoved around by management over at NBC. He said that he'll slug the General Manager there at K-Rock if they get some ratings. He said they were just pipe dreams at that point though.
Tom Chiusano said that he was just doing his job back at K-Rock and he wasn't looking to be Howard's enemy. He said that he wasn't trying to be his friend either because he was just doing a job there and trying to help the guy flourish. He said that if he had to be part of Howard's jabs then that was fine. He said he thinks he did a good job but it was inevitable that they'd have their conflicts.
Fred said that he wasn't so sure that Tom liked them when they started there. He said that Tom may not have loved them as much if they hadn't gotten the ratings.
Howard said that someone had to take on the grown up role there and Tom was the one doing that. He said that it's a tough position to be in when you're someone like Tom. Howard said that if he had broken Tom's will then no one would have been in control.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about his discussions with Tom Chiusano off the air and how they talked about the way he was running the board and stuff like that. Howard said that Tom seemed to understand the stuff that he was dealing with and he kind of got why he had some issues.
We heard a song parody that Howard and Fred did called ''What About Gloves'' about using condoms. They went into another old clip where Howard was talking about how he wasn't looking forward to working at the age of 67. He said that he wasn't even sure he'd last another 10 years. He said he'd be perfectly content to watch TV, read books and hang out. Howard said if he had $2 million in the bank then they'd never hear from him again. He said he'd go live in a town where the cost of living is cheaper and just live on a big estate. Robin didn't seem to believe that was possible.
Jim Forbes came on and said that there weren't a lot of big stars visiting the Stern Show back then but one of the first was Jay Leno. They went into an old clip where Howard spoke to Jay Leno on the phone. Howard said he thinks that Jay uses them for promotional things and he doesn't appreciate that. He said he guesses that's what the business is all about though, people using each other. Howard said he likes Jay but he feels that as long as they're friends they're going to use each other.
Jay was going to be doing Letterman that night so that's why he was on the phone. Howard said he was going to be doing a Letterman appearance too. Howard told Jay that he wanted him to come in live. Jay said he would have but they didn't give him any notice. Howard told Jay how much more comfortable he was there at K-Rock and that his voice was even different now that he's on there. Howard said that Jay is one of the best guests that Letterman has on, other than himself.
After that clip we heard Jim talking about Howard's triumphant return to Letterman who was still at NBC. Don Buchwald said that Letterman was terrific for Howard because it gave him some exposure and gave Howard a chance to show what he can do. He said that Howard came off well on the show and he was getting better and better at it. They had David Letterman talking about how Howard can make something interesting out of nothing. He said that Howard has said some things about his family and friends over the years so that's kind of hard to take but he's so engaging that you have to like him. Dave said that he does like Howard even though they're not friends in the true sense of the word. He said he is very fond of him even if they aren't that close.
Next up we heard a clip from that Letterman appearance in 1985. In the clip Howard went right into the story about being fired from NBC and how great that was. Howard said that he didn't like how Dave kept him off his show while he was fired. He said he needs friends in show business and Dave wasn't there for him. Dave had Howard talk about what happened to get him fired but Howard said he really didn't do anything wrong and he didn't want to dwell on that. He just wanted to move along and talk about how great his radio show is going now.
After that clip Jim talked about how Howard met Dee Snider there at Letterman that day. Dee came on and talked about how it was Christmas of 1985 when he and Howard met. He said that they were big back then and he went to see the Christmas tree there at Rockefeller center. He said his driver told him about Howard talking about how ugly he was. That led into a clip from the show that day when Howard was talking about how Dee had the big hair because he's such an ugly guy. Howard was also making fun of his voice and doing an impression of him.
Dee said that he wished that Howard had gotten his name right back then because he was calling him ''Schneider'' instead of ''Snider.'' Dee said he heard that Howard was going to be at Letterman and wanted to give him a taste of reality by showing up and confronting him. Dee said he had been there before so they all knew him and let him come right in.
We heard a clip of Howard talking to Robin about what went on there at Letterman that night he was there. He talked about siting there watching the show trying to get into it when someone told him that someone was there to see him with really weird hair. Dee came on again and said that he went at Howard like he was all pissed off at him and then threw him against the wall like he was going to kill him but he really wasn't mad. He just started laughing. They started talking and figured out that they had a lot in common. Dee said that they became friends after that and figured they should hang out.
In the old K-Rock clip Howard was talking about how cool he thought Dee looked back stage with his fang teeth and ostrich boots. Howard said they spent about a half hour talking and exchanging phone numbers. Howard said that he wanted a rock star friend but he didn't know it was going to be Dee Snider from Twisted Sister.
After that we heard a new interview with Howard who was talking about how he didn't really care about famous people back then. He said that he felt that he should sequester himself and never be seen in public. He said he wasn't sure why he did that. He said he ended up living for 20 years in his basement. Howard said he figured that he should only be heard on radio and cut himself off from most people. Howard said he didn't have a lot of friends but Dee came along and he kind of stayed on him and they developed a friendship. Howard said he'd go to Dee's home and hang out with the guy.
Howard said that Dee was a guy who had a show business life and it was good to get to know what that life was like. Dee said that he and Howard discovered they were kind of similar and he started to listen to the show and became a regular listener. He said he thinks that Howard became a fan of Twisted Sister too.
Jim Forbes said that another thing that became big on the show was Howard talking about the size of his penis. That led into a clip from K-Rock where Howard talked about his small wiener. He said that it was almost disappearing into his body when he went to the doctor to get checked. Howard said that it grows into a big monster when he's aroused but when he's just hanging out it's pretty small.
Robin said that she doesn't believe that it's that small and he's probably average. She said that he probably just wanted people to think that he was small so they'd like him and sympathize with him.
Howard said that was just his way of opening up about his whole life on the air. He said that was reality to him and he's always felt it was very small. Howard said he's always protected his penis from men and women seeing it.
In the K-Rock clip Howard talked about how his penis looks even smaller on his big frame than it would on a smaller body.
Fred was asked about that as well and said that he can't be that small. He said that Howard is married to a model so he can't be all that small. He said he'd have got be really charming if he wanted to keep women interested in him and he thinks that he is actually well equipped.
They played more of the old clip where Howard talked about his penis disappearing when it gets cold. Then a new clip where Howard talked about how the penis thing was good for the air but it was also a big deal in his personal life. He said that guys can relate to that too. They'd alternate between the old clip and newer clips where Howard was talking about his penis.
Howard talked about how the small penis thing opened up a lot of other conversations with people. Scott the Engineer came in one time and talked about how they had a swim team in school and had to swim nude. Howard said he would have quit school if he had to do that himself.
They played more of the K-Rock stuff where Howard asked Robin about seeing her father's penis. Robin said that she never saw her brother but she did see her father. Howard said his father is like a horse from what he remembers. He said he looks like his mother and may have inherited the small penis from her. Howard talked about seeing his father's penis and how big it appeared to him when he did see it. He said it figures he doesn't have a big one like his dad.
Ben Stern got on and talked about how he felt he may have short changed his son but maybe he was exaggerating about it. Ben said the only thing he can do is apologize for that. Ray Stern said that Howard has talked about that often on the air but she's really not that knowledgeable about that subject but she'll have to agree with Howard on it.
We heard another old K-Rock clip where Howard talked to his mother about his small penis. She had spoken to Howard's sister Ellen about his small penis and she thinks that he was right about it being small. They also talked about how she used to take his temperature anally and how she did that for many years. Howard spent a few minutes talking to his mother about his small penis and tried to find out if she knew from the day he was born that it was tiny. She said she didn't notice anything like that. She said he was perfect when he was born.
Howard and his mother spent a few minutes going over the small penis thing and how Ellen had brought it up. Howard told his mother not to talk about it with her anymore. Ray said that she's going to talk about it if she wants to. Howard said that she can't keep talking about it with him until he gets a transplant. They went to break a short time later.
Meg Griffin talked about how Howard would find ways to make fun of anything and he was on fire back when he started at K-Rock. She said that he was calling his own shots by that point because people that try to get him to do it their way don't always succeed. She said that it was all about Howard back then.
They went into an old K-Rock clip where Howard talked about getting the music director in trouble for playing a song that wasn't on their play list. He said the program director got on their music director's case for it.
We heard Gary talking about the music library they had at K-Rock and how he'd go in and bump into people like Elvis Costello in there and people like that when they'd do shows up there. Jim Forbes was also saying that Joey Ramone was one of the music guests that Howard had on the show back then.
Howard talked about how he wasn't a huge Ramones fan back then but Meg Griffin was into them big time. Howard said he got into the Ramones later on in his life. He said that Joey was great as a guest because he was so honest and willing to say anything. He said he really did have a punk attitude.
They went into an old interview clip where Joey showed up and did the show one day. Howard was saying it was nuts that he showed up there. Joey sounded very nervous and said he might regret showing up. Howard said it was a Christmas party that day that Joey showed up. He talked to Joey about how there aren't many Jewish rock stars out there. He said that there are a few but not all that many. Howard asked Joey if that was supposed to be a secret. Joey said that it can't be a secret from Howard.
Joey had his tour manager Monte in there with him and it was his idea to come on the show. Joey said that he'd liked Howard since he saw him on Letterman. He figured Howard was a sick guy and he was alright in his book. Howard spoke to Joey about retiring and if that's what they're hoping to do some day. Joey said that they're trying to do that and he was surprised that they hadn't gotten there yet.
Joey was talking about where he lives and that was making Howard depressed. Joey said he was living in the Bowery and that was depressing to Howard knowing that they were such a great band. Howard suggested they have their manager come up with some main stream song to put out. Howard asked Joey about who he was dating but Joey said they're not supposed to talk about that stuff on public radio.
After that we heard Howard talking about how great Joey was on the radio show and TV show. Howard said he loved Joey and he really misses him today. He said he would have loved doing the SIRIUS radio show. Howard said he really misses the guy. They went back into the K-Rock clip and had Howard thanking Joey for coming in and wrapping up with him.
Jim Forbes talked about how Howard's ratings went up after the first ratings book they got. Tom Chiusano said that Howard started in October and they found out that the ratings went up immediately. It was instantaneous. Fred also came on and said that he loves Tom but he thinks that he would have been tough to work for if they hadn't gotten those big ratings. He said that Tom was a fiscally responsible General Manager and he would have ridden them like a cheap whore and made them miserable. Fred said that's why working for the Stern Show has been so great. they don't get treated that badly when they're getting big ratings.
Tom talked about how they became number 1 almost immediately when Howard started there. Mel Karmazin also had a few words to say about that and how it helped make Infinity successful. Not only them but the advertisers that they had on the show. Mel said that local advertisers were able to measure that success when they did advertise. Mel said that they were able to grow their revenue from that success and it worked out well for them.
In another clip from the early K-Rock days we heard Howard talking about how they had raised the ratings to a 4.6 after just being on the air for 3 weeks. They doubled the usual ratings for the station in that short time. Howard said that he could see that they were going to have to carry this station on their own and wondered if they were going to have to force people to listen to the rest of the day. Howard went on to talk about how they would get to keep their jobs and they would have more freedom and giveaways for the fans. Howard said they can only happen if the fans deliver the ratings.
Howard told the fans that they have to listen to the rest of the station too if they're going to listen to his show. Howard said he doesn't like broccoli but he's forced himself to eat it so that's what the fans have to do with the radio station. They have to tune in the whole day. He said he was pleased with the way things were going though.
DJ Jimmy Fink talked about how great it was to be working there when Howard was there at K-Rock. He said that no one came down on him because of low ratings as long as Howard was on.
Jay Thomas talked about the way Howard never did the time and temperature thing on his show so he tried to get out of doing it. They wouldn't let him stop and told him that Howard was better than him so that's why they let him get away with it.
Richard Belzer talked about Howard's show and what he thought about the show back then. Belzer said that Howard can reveal stuff about his personal life that most performers won't even go near.
They played another old clip from the early days when Howard was going to call his sister Ellen about seeing his penis when he was about 7 years old. Howard made the call to her and found out that she saw him naked up until the time he was about 12 years old. She said that he used to sit and watch TV naked and he'd get an erection and show it off to her. She said that it would happen during his cartoons and stuff. Howard said he might be a homo because she was saying that he'd get aroused watching Yogi the Bear. Howard said maybe it was when she would walk in the room. Ellen said she didn't really understand it herself so she would just ignore the whole thing. She just accepted it.
Howard was saying how he can't believe what a pervert he was back then. He let Ellen go a short time after that. He couldn't believe that he got aroused watching Yogi the Bear cartoons. Robin started to do her impression of Yogi and Howard told her to stop because he was getting aroused.
Howard called Ellen back and asked if he was impressive looking. She said that he was pretty small at 7 but he was getting bigger at 11. She said that she wasn't looking, he was showing it to her without asking. Howard said he didn't remember any of that. He did remember seeing Ellen dancing around naked in her room though. Howard let Ellen go again and wondered what it was about Yogi that turned him on. He said maybe it was Ranger Smith that turned him on.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how great it was to hear Howard talking about that stuff. He said he could never talk about that with his family. Ray Stern also talked about how much Howard talked about on the air and how they were never uptight about sex in their house. She said that they can take it as it comes.
That led into another old clip where Howard was talking to his mother about penises and if she ever saw a dwarf penis. She never had dealt with one. Howard asked her if she thought that they'd be normal sized or what. She said that she would imagine that it would be a normal size compared to the body. She said that wasn't very important though. Howard let her go and said his mother will never talk sex with him.
After that we heard Meg Griffin talking about how great it is when Howard's mother is on the phone. She said that she thinks that what he does with his parents is very funny. She talked about Howard's speech patterns and how they're very similar to his father's. She said that he says that ''Listen to me'' just like his father and it's very funny.
In another clip from 1986 Howard farted in the studio. Howard said that he's always had that problem and his father would probably remember it. He gave his father a call and talked to him about the times he'd go out with him and he'd have to use the bathroom to fart. Howard got his mother on the line and told her about his flatulence problems. He explained it to his mother how he'd have gas pains all the time. She said it wasn't all the time. Howard had her put Ben on the phone to talk about it. Ben got on and said that Howard always did have terrible gas pains when they'd go out. Ben said he remembered walking down the street with him and having to go into a hotel to let him use the bathroom there. He said he was hoping that when he grew up he'd get over it. Ben said that it was a serious problem he had there.
Howard said that he hated farting in public so his father would have to take him to a bathroom to do it. Ben said he would take him to the bathrooms and it did seem to help. He said he didn't know that was still with him though.
After that we heard DJ Mark Coppola talking about the way things would go a little too far with the other DJs because they felt they could get away with more than they could before Howard was there. Jimmy Fink also talked about how great it was working there at the time when Howard was doing what he was doing.
They played another clip from the K-Rock days when Howard talked about Jackie the Joke Man porking a chick that only had one leg. He asked Jackie to talk about that. They went over that with Jackie for a few minutes. He told some other stories about Jackie doing chicks and some of the crazy stuff that happened with him. Robin didn't want Jackie touching her after hearing some of those stories. She said she didn't even want to shake his hand.
Sandra Bernhard came on and talked about how great Robin is on the show. David Brenner was also on talking about how Howard and Robin were soul mates as far as he was concerned. He said that there are combinations like Howard and Robin that are just soul mates in show business.
After that we heard Jackie the Joke Man Martling talking about how he came in around early 1986 and got into the truth that was being told on the show. Jackie said he remembered having a sex dream about Robin and told that story on the air. He said that they all became more disclosing over the years but this was pretty early on and had a wild dream about her. Jackie said about a month later Robin had one about him and talked about it on the air. Jackie said he doesn't think she made that up either. They went to break after that.
Mel Karmazin came on and said that Jay did a great job while he was there but they knew that Howard was going to be the morning man so they let him go. Tom Chiusano said that they all knew that Howard was going to be big on the station as soon as he started there.
Jay Thomas said he thought they were having a good time there and then they ended up letting him go. He said that they offered him 6 months severance and let him go. Jay said he loves getting severance pay. They had some of the DJs from K-Rock talking about Jay saying goodbye to everyone.
After that they played a clip of Howard and Robin talking about Jay being fired from the station back around that time. Howard said that he wanted fans to listen to the rest of the radio station and he thinks that he's starting to get them back on track there. Howard said he thinks he can help change the attitude around there. He said he's told them some of his suggestions and they may listen to him.
Howard talked about Jay Thomas being fired and joked that he doesn't care about anyone's job other than his own. He said that they wouldn't even let them talk about Jay being fired during the day.
Mel Karmazin said that this wasn't part of some big master plan, they just saw that he had become a huge success in the afternoon so they wanted to move him to mornings when it was the best time to have big ratings. Mel said that morning radio between 6-10 is prime time and no one deserved to be there more than Howard.
Tom Chiusano talked about how they had to talk Howard into doing mornings and how there was a little bit of an awkwardness there. Jay Thomas said that Don Buchwald is in this for the money and he'd admit that. He said that Don will demand that they pay someone more.
We heard more K-Rock clips of Howard talking about how he wanted $2 million a year to do mornings there. He said there was no way he was going to get up that early in the morning to do a show if he wasn't being paid. He said he wanted an office, more support people on his show, more comedians to do the show and other stuff. He said that Gary was making enough so they didn't have to pay him more.
After that clip we heard Robin talking about how they didn't want to do mornings and loved working in the afternoons. Robin said that it was something they had to be talked into back then. Fred also talked about how great afternoon shows were for him. He said that after seeing the FCC problems, maybe they should have stayed on in the afternoons where not that many people heard them.
We heard another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about how they were trying to talk him into doing mornings and he was starting to think that they should. Robin didn't sound too thrilled about that though. She was used to doing the afternoon show. They went over that for a few minutes talking about how they could take on the other morning shows and probably kill them in the ratings. Howard said that everyone was being so nice about it that he might just have to do it for them. He said he was up until 2 in the morning thinking about the whole thing. He suggested that the other stations pool some money together to keep him from going on in the mornings.
Next up we heard Howard in a current interview talking about how he was thinking about going on in the mornings back then and that he could be that good that he could crush the other morning shows.
We heard another K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin were talking about the possible change and talking about going to a psychic to ask if they should do it. They were going to call some astrologers and psychics to ask if they should go for it or not. Howard called a guy by the name of Mason and asked if he was picking up any vibrations on him. Mason said Howard was a smart man and he's listened to his show. Howard asked him if he would be successful if he went to mornings. Mason told him that he would be. He suggested that Howard would be very well known if he did that.
After that we heard Robin talking about the people at K-rock asking them if they were going to do it or not. Robin said that she remembers climbing into the limo with Howard one day and Howard asking her if she wanted to do mornings. Robin said she remembers wondering if they were being lazy for not doing it. She said that mornings are where the big dogs play so maybe they weren't thinking properly there. She said that Howard seemed like he didn't want to go up against Imus so she had to remind him who he was. That got Howard to change his tune and the next thing she knew they were doing mornings again.
Ray Stern talked about her son and how he always comes through. She said that he puts his 100 percent into everything he does. Ben Stern said that Mel Karmazin knew what he was doing and putting Howard on in the mornings was a great idea. He said that made Howard shoot up even higher than he expected.
We heard more of the old K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin announced that they were moving to mornings. Howard got a fan on the phone and made the announcement to the guy. Fred played a drum roll and Howard told everyone that they took the vote from the audience, which really didn't matter, and found that they wanted them to do mornings. Howard said it's all about the money and they would be doing a morning show. The caller wasn't too thrilled with that and thought that they were going to stay in the afternoons. The caller said he liked listening to Alan B. Colmes in the mornings and Howard in the afternoons.
We heard from Jimmy Fink who said he didn't have to wake up early anymore after Howard got to do mornings. Howard also came on and talked about how great the mornings were going to be for him and how he felt he was going to be a big success.
Jim Forbes said that K-Rock got Howard his support staff after that. That led into a quick clip where Howard got on mic and the headphones squealed. Then Jim introduced Scott the Engineer Salem. Scott came on and talked about how he was looking for a job around 1985 after working at WPLJ. They had just changed formats and Scott had been let go. Scott said he asked some of the people he worked with to keep him in mind when they moved to K-Rock. Scott said he got the call a couple of months later and ended up getting an interview.
Scott said he was in the hospital with his wife when their son was born when he got an answering machine message from Jimmy Fink telling him that they wanted to hire him there at K-Rock. Scott said he called the station and they asked him to start the following Monday. Scott said that he got a job and his wife had a baby in the same day.
Fred talked about his first thoughts on Scott back then and how he really hasn't changed since then. He said that's what you have to love about Scott. He's the stability in your life that you need. He said Scott isn't going to reinvent the world though. Scott is Scott.
We heard more from Scott talking about how things worked there at K-Rock back then. He said he wanted to go in and see how Howard worked and walked into the studio while he was on the air.
After that we heard the clip of the first time Scott was in the studio with Howard. Howard told Scott he'd better do a good job there. Scott said he's the best and he didn't have to worry about that. Scott told Howard he worked for WABC and WPLJ. Scott wasn't mentioning the names of the people he worked for so Howard had to point that out and get him to just say the names.
We heard Scott talking about that first day and how he got yelled at on the first day and 23 years later he's still getting yelled at.
Fred said that Scott has worked the hardest out of any engineer they've ever had. Howard said the engineers at WNBC didn't work that hard and Scott really has worked hard for them. Howard said that if his show doesn't work then they don't have jobs so they have to work hard. He said he used to tell the engineers there at NBC that but they didn't seem to care and would just laugh at him.
Fred said that they had an engineer at K-Rock who was really bitter and just hated them. He said that they tried their best to be nice to him but he was just a fucking asshole. Fred said there was no reason for the guy to be so angry but he was. Scott wasn't one of those guys. He did what he was supposed to do and it was more than what most of the engineers would do for them.
Howard talked about how great Scott was at editing bits for them and how they were very busy doing bits back then. He said that Scott's attitude on the air was funny too and that's what made him great. He talked about that ''Chkh'' sound that Scott used to make and how Fred picked up on that and started making fun of him on that.
Howard talked about how Scott would walk into the studio very calmly when they had major equipment problems and that would freak him out and he'd have to yell at Scott to be more energetic.
Scott talked about how he worked for shows where they never talked that much on the air so it was quite a change for him to see Howard doing what he was doing. It was quite a change for him.
We heard a clip of Howard's cousin, who is in Blue Oyster Cult, and how they had Howard read for one of their songs called ''When the War Comes'' many years ago. They asked him to do it and Howard had no problem doing it for them. They played a clip of the song where Howard did his thing. They went to break after that.
That all led into a clip from the Dial-A-Date preview show where Howard and Robin talked about Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora. Howard was seeing their pictures for the first time and Howard said that they were pretty good looking guys. He didn't know them at all so he wasn't sure which one was Jon and which one was Richie.
In a current clip we heard Robin talking about Jon and Richie having the whole rock star look going at that time. She said it was funny to see that on people who hadn't made it yet. She said they were very humble though and they really appreciated the air time and exposure. Robin said that it was very interesting meeting them for the first time.
They had a current interview with Jon Bon Jovi about what went on back then and how they were just on their way up at the time. They had been around the world a couple of times going out and opening for other bands.
Jim Forbes said that Jon's memory of those days was a little sketchy so he didn't remember how it all came about. Jon said that he was remembering Dee Snider having something to do with it but he really wasn't sure.
Next up we heard the Dial-A-Date show that Howard did with Jon and Richie. They also brought in David Bryan when they came in. Howard asked who he was getting dates for that day. They said that they all wanted dates. Howard said he was going to get three women on the phone and the one they'd pick would hopefully fall for one of them and maybe one of them would do her.
Howard didn't believe that Bon Jovi was really Jon's real name but Jon insisted it was and showed him his credit card and license to prove it. Jon just spells it differently. Howard asked the guys if they have anything to fall back on if the rock star thing didn't work out. They said that they had the chairs they were sitting in.
Howard took some calls and tried to find some girls for the guys. Howard would talk to the guys between the picking of the girls. They had a tough time with some of the girls they took calls from. One 19 year old didn't want to make the noises that she makes when she's in bed with a guy. Howard convinced her to do it but it wasn't very impressive. She was more into Richie than Jon or David. They had her sitting on her speaker so Howard could try to get her off with his deep voice.
They broke in with a current interview with Howard who said that the band would show up to his Club Bene shows and do some songs for him. He said that he always liked the guys but it was Jon, Richie and David but Tico and Alec wouldn't hang out with them. Howard said he's not sure how the group functioned but it seemed like it was just those three who were part of the band. He said they always seemed to have a kinship with the show though.
Fred talked about how they got Jon to sing at Club Bene and how they taped Jon singing at one of the shows and Jon begged them not to play it anymore because he wasn't happy with the performance. Fred said that Jon has always been a fine singer and performer and anyone can have one bad show.
We heard from Jon Bon Jovi again and he talked about going to the Club Bene shows and how it was just a small dinner theater club that they'd go to.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said that he still tells a story about having Jon show up at the Club Bene shows. Ronnie said that they'd come in and ask to play on stage with them. Ronnie said that he still talks about that day with Jon when he comes on the show. Ronnie said Jon says that they've come a long way since then. Ronnie said he says that Howard and Jon have come a long way, but not him.
Gary talked about that bad set that Jon had and how Howard used that clip when they were going through their feud. Gary said he promised Jon that he would never play it again when they were making their truce. He said that the whole thing was crazy but he thinks that they can play it now.
Ben Stern remembered that show and how good he thought it was. He said that Jon wasn't the big star back then that he is now though.
Robin talked about how great they thought the show was. Then the band went out and had a huge hit album and then things kind of fell apart between them.
They played the clip from that Club Bene show where Jon, Richie and David all performed on stage. Howard had to coax Jon out on stage for some reason. They all eventually came out and performed ''Runaway'' with Howard and Robing singing along.
Jim Forbes said that Howard and the crew said goodbye to afternoons and moved to mornings February 18, 1986. Gary talked about how that a little bit and then they went into some audio from that final afternoon show. In the clip Howard was talking about how every morning radio program was busy concentrating on them this morning. Howard said it's going to be a panic when they do move to the mornings. He said they're all panicking about the move now. Howard said some guy climbed up on a bridge and held up a valentine that read ''Howard Stern Sucks'' and held up traffic.
Howard said that they have to get Scott Shannon off the air there and crush his morning show. Howard said that these people have been getting away with not being creative for far too long and he's going to take care of them by crushing them in the ratings. Howard said they're going to own this stinking town when they do rule the mornings. He said he's getting psyched up to do mornings.
Howard took some calls about their move and let some people give their thoughts on the move to mornings. One guy said he'd miss them in the afternoons. Another guy was listening and saying that he tapes the show every day and brings them down to Georgia to enlighten people there. A woman said she's really going to miss him in the afternoon too.
Howard said that he's going to be NBC's worst nightmare and went into a rant about how they embarrassed him and how he hates all of those douche bags over there. Howard said he's going to work very hard to get his vengeance on them. He said he's going to crush them and will work the hardest he can to kill them. Howard said he needs his staff working their hardest so he can make this happen. He told Robin to work hard on her news, Fred to work hard on bits every night and more. He said that they thought he was going to move to L.A. or something and they didn't know that he was going to stay there and deal the final blow to that station.
After that Jim Forbes wrapped up this first day of The History of Howard Stern Act II. They ended the show around 11:30am.
Scott the Engineer and Ronnie the Limo Driver quickly talked about that move as well. Gary then talked about how Howard told him about how all of the ratings were in the mornings and that's where they had to be. Howard said that it was difficult on his family to move to mornings because he was basically working all day long. He had to get up at 4 in the morning and then he wouldn't get home until 2 or 3 in the afternoon and he had to work more all day long. He was thinking about the show all day long and then he'd be in bed by 7 or 8 o'clock.
Ronnie said that he'd be home in the afternoon so it was cool for him. Howard wouldn't go out at night much so he didn't have to drive him around. Howard was very dedicated to his shit. Howard said he was bringing home the bacon for his family and he thought he was doing the best thing for them.
Jackie the Joke Man became a full time member of the show around that time. They had him talking about calling home to find out that Howard had been fired and then getting the call to get him to come in to get him to work there. He said that was the only job discussion he ever got about doing the show.
Jim said that they had created their morning show formula by this time. That led to them playing some audio of Alec Baldwin talking about that formula and how he's been asked to do a radio show. Alec said they ask him what he'd want to do and he says that it would totally rip off Howard's set up including Robin in the booth.
DJ Meg Griffin talked about how she wondered what it would be like to have a team like that working with her. She said that she thinks Howard chose really well and they've stayed with him so long. She said Howard was able to pick all of the best people and they're all still around him.
Jackie the Joke Man talked about how genius Howard is for picking the people he did. He said that he picked Robin, Fred and then him. He said he never knew where Howard was going but he picked the right people.
Ben Stern talked about how well Howard did and how he has only the best things to say about him. Ray Stern said that she hears about how much people love Howard too. She said that they've lasted a long time and it shows that Howard is concerned about everyone who works for him. She said that's the most important thing that she hears about her son. Ray said she feels that Howard is the captain of the ship and he has to set the example there and she thinks that it has been proven.
Jim talked about how it was a chilly morning that day they did their first morning show. Gary talked about how he had to get up at 3:45 in the morning and had to take a really long ride in on the train. He said he would go out with his girlfriend and he'd realize he had to get up at 3:45 in the morning.
Robin said she wouldn't complain about the hours no matter what. She said that Howard will complain but she won't do that.
They went into a clip from that first morning show where Howard was talking about how he felt like he was dying getting up that early. He said that the phones were already ringing and it was 6 in the morning. Howard was calling the caller an imbecile and hadn't even picked up the phone yet. Howard wanted to call Imus and invite his listeners to listen to their show instead.
In the clip Howard talked about how much it sucked getting up so early and complained about working in the evenings doing the live shows and then getting up so early. Howard introduced the people in the studio like Jackie, Fred and Robin. Howard was saying that they had to fix the telephones before they made their move so the callers could hear Robin. If they weren't able to hear her, he was going back to the afternoon slot. The callers were able to hear Robin's voice so Howard said that's too bad. He told the caller he should have lied.
The caller told Howard there wasn't much on to listen to so he was glad that he had Howard on. Howard went off on the guy for giving them too many details. Howard said they were perfect in the afternoons and this was a stupid move. Howard was calling the guy names and laughing like crazy.
After the clip we heard Fred talking about the reputation that Howard had and how it was nothing about him saying the F-word on air or anything like that. It was about Howard being inventive and saying the things that people wanted to hear. Fred said that Howard would come out with a new take on things or a more exciting way of doing things. He said there were people listening to the show and it was influencing things that were being done on TV and other radio shows. Fred said that it felt like you didn't know who was listening until you saw pieces of the show on other shows.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard spoke to Fred, as Imus, who was telling Howard that he was going to do whatever he did on his show, on his own show. He was telling Howard that he listens to his show during commercial breaks and then does the bits on the show the next day. Howard told ''Imus'' to update his bits and stop doing the same stuff. They did that for a couple of minutes.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about some of the people that Howard would want to call at such an early time in the morning and how tough it was to get guests on that early.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard asked if it was going to be tough to get guests other than people like Dee Dee Ramone. Gary said that he wouldn't be a problem. Howard said Gary was the most bummed out person of them all making this move to mornings. Howard said that he looks really bad after getting up early in the morning for 3 days in a row. Gary was looking like the dog on the Little Rascals according to Howard. His eyes were all black from getting up so early.
Howard had asked Gary if they could get any guests. Gary said ''Yeah'' but he didn't sound so confident. Howard kicked him out of the studio a short time later.
Next we heard DJ Jimmy Fink talking about how Howard would keep his show going long after his 10 o'clock end time. DJ Mark Coppola also talked about what that was like and how the show would run so long that they'd have to change their shift to start at 11 instead of 10. DJ Maria Melito talked about the show running long too and also talked about all of the white papers that would be all over the studio when she'd go in there. She said that they all shared the same studio so it was mostly all about Howard but that was fine with her. She said he was the bread winner for the station.
Fred talked about how things had changed when they moved to mornings. He said he joined the show in Washington DC and then to WNBC and they were trying to dismantle the machine that was working over there. He said that was always a mystery to him. He said there are some people who just don't get how the show works. He said the one person who does get it is Howard and it's his vision. He said they have to trust that Howard is going to get the show working and they should leave it to him.
In another K-Rock clip Howard was asking the listeners to give him the ratings. Howard talked about how he got burned over at WNBC even though he was doing his job. He said that people have been burned and they have to know what that feels like. He went off on John Hayes for trying to tell them how to do their show. Howard said they have to destroy them, together. He said he has to get his revenge on those people. He said that they pee in your face over there. He went off on the people there and on WPLJ, Z-100 and more. He and Robin talked about the WPLJ TV commercial and how lame that was. Howard asked the fans to give them ratings and not WPLJ. Howard said that even if you hate the show, he'd like the ratings.
After the clip we heard Ronnie the Limo Driver talking about how he knew Howard was going to grow and be big. He wanted to be there with him. He said that they were hearing the vibe from people and he just started getting bigger and bigger. Tom Chiusano said that they saw almost an instantaneous kick in the ratings after Howard moved to the morning.
Scott the Engineer talked about the way the show was working back then and how genius the three, Howard, Fred and Jackie, were on the air. Fred said that Scott was always more than an engineer there on the show too. He said that he would take it to a place that they had never done before and that made him think that they could get even more complicated with their bits. He said they kept pushing their bits even further.
In the next K-Rock clip we heard Howard talking about the ''I Love Lucy Meets the Rolling Stones'' bit that they had created. He went into the bit after talking about it for a few seconds. They had Howard doing Ricky Ricardo and Lucy and Fred doing Fred Mertz. Then the Rolling Stones show up and it's a bunch of mumbling. They get the Stones to perform at Ricky's club and Ricky plays along with them on his bongos. Lucy and Ethel also get in on it and play along with the band.
After that clip we heard Jim Forbes talking about one bit that they did on the show that was a song parody called ''The Harlem Shuffle Hoax.'' Mark Coppola talked about that and how they tried to figure out what the Rolling Stones' new song was going to be like when it came out. They just made up a song and goofed around with it. Fred said that people were thinking that they were making too much of a big deal out of the song and they were making fun of great artists. Fred said that people were so serious about music so they wanted to just have some fun with a song parody. Fred said that they were threatening to get a cease and desist on this song.
After that we heard Howard introducing the song that Fred had created. He promoted it as if it were the actual song though. He said they weren't supposed to play the song until 11:30 at night.
DJ Mark Coppola said that they did get a Cease and Desist and when the actual song did come out, it sounded very close to what Fred and the guys created. They had just guessed at what the song would sound like and came very close to that. They played some of the ''Harlem Shuffle'' song and it was awfully close to what Fred had created. Mark said that was one of the most memorable musical moments from the show.
Fred talked about how other stations were wondering how they got a hold of the song and they had to break it to them that it wasn't really the stones. The other stations didn't believe it and they said they knew that it actually was the Stones.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about Fred going in and recording the song after hearing the original ''Harlem Shuffle'' and guessed at how the Stones would have done it. Fred came very close and other stations were freaking out thinking they had the song. They went to break a short time later.
After that we heard Jim Forbes introducing Susan Berkley who was their traffic reporter eventually. Susan talked about doing that for the show. Meg Griffin also talked about how simple things like that could lead to some great bits on the show. She said that Howard is able to take something very mundane and make you look forward to it.
Gary said that Susan was a great addition to the show but he doesn't think she ever got the joke of what they were doing. She'd claim she got it but he doesn't think that she ever did. Fred and Robin also talked about that a little bit. Susan said that she thought that it would be different with her than it was with Donna ''Fedouchebag'' Fedusha but it wasn't.
Robin said that Howard was creating something out of the people on the show and he had to decide something about them that people could relate to. With Susan it was her incredible amount of confidence. Howard wanted to see how deep it went and kept probing her until he got under that wall. Then she'd go crazy. Susan said she's scarred for life after being on that show.
Next we heard a clip from K-Rock where Howard called Susan to get her on to do the traffic for them. He had to call her and get her on the line first. He eventually got her on and asked if she runs the shadow traffic place. She said that she's the only one available in the mornings for them. Susan told Howard that she didn't want to have to audition everyone on the show and have other stations freaking out that they were all on.
Howard said he remembers Susan from some commercials he used to run on some other commercials. He talked about the recipe's that she was giving out in those and how it was for natural foods. Howard had her do her traffic report and told her it would probably be her last one. He said she's real phony sounding. He said that she sounds phony and told her that he can't work with her. Susan said that she was going to cry. Howard asked her what she really felt. Susan said she was feeling relief.
Howard said he thinks that his listeners would rather be stuck in traffic than listen to Susan. Susan read through her traffic and Howard said that she was good at it but there just wasn't any chemistry there. He said that it just wasn't going to work out for them. Howard said that he just doesn't like her. Howard said he didn't like the commercials she used to be on either. He said he hated that too. Howard said she has a pleasant voice but it's just a little too pleasant.
Howard asked Susan what her cup size is. He said he's seen her in person and she's not that big. Susan said she had to go after that. Howard said that she used to work with Jay Thomas and the chemistry wasn't all that great either. Howard said that she got along with Jay and the reason she did is the same reason she won't get along with them.
Robin said there were people who would think that this was all an act but it really wasn't. Susan said that she thinks they should give it a try for a little while and see how it works out. Howard ended up asking her what her real name was and talked to her about her ex-husband who she said was crazy. Robin said that it's always the man's fault when it was probably her. Susan said that her husband cheated on her and she found out later on in her marriage. Robin said that she wanted to know more but Susan wanted to get going. Howard asked if her husband cheated with Jay Thomas. Jackie let out a huge laugh when he said that. Howard told Susan he was going to give her one more try after that.
After the clip we heard Susan talking about how bad Howard was laying into her about her personal life and how flabbergasted she was. She said she really was in tears after that first day. She said she remembers calling him up after that and asking if he really didn't like her. Howard said they really did like her and they were just making a bit out of it all.
Jim Forbes said that Howard did a lot of things there just to break balls on the air. Meg Griffin talked about the way Howard would ask her about shaving her thing on the air and she would storm down to Tom Chiusano's office to complain about it.
Jim said a favorite person to goof on was Bob Wa. Jimmy Fink talked about how that would work and how Howard thought that he might be kind of gay or something. That led to them doing the Homo Room with Bob. We heard Howard talking about the sounds of the Homo Room and how Fred would come up with the sounds for that. Howard said he and Fred used to come up with sound effect ideas but the Homo Room was all Fred's idea. Howard said that Bob never wanted to go into the homo room even though there's no such thing as the Homo Room. Howard said nothing was all that well thought out but it kind of evolved.
That led into a K-Rock clip where Howard had Bob Wa come into the studio. Howard was talking in his low, effeminate voice and talking about taking Bob into the Homo Room. Robin was doing her low voice and asking about that stuff. Howard asked Bob if he had ever had a homosexual experience. Bob said that in school he once had a guy ask him if he wanted to come back and experiment with him. He said nothing happened until the guy asked him to help out with the wiring in the A/V department. Bob said that he got upset and went home crying after that. Howard said he found it hard to believe that was all that happened.
Howard said that Bob looks like he could be bordering on being kind of gay. He asked if he's ever put on women's clothing. Bob said he hadn't done that. He said he didn't wear make up either. Howard said even he's done that. Howard then brought Bob into the Homo Room which is just echo with Fred playing some sound effects in the background. Howard said he was going to light a candle for him. Then he said that they would go back to being heterosexuals after they get out of there. Howard had him bend over so he could open a bottle with his ass. Fred played the sound effects for that. Howard demonstrated on his own ass how it was done correctly and was able to open the bottle. Then he had Bob bend over and try to do it again. He had some trouble but he was able to do it eventually.
Howard kept Bob in the Homo Room for a while but said that he was too uptight to keep in there. He had him crack another beer open for them but then he had to move on with the show. He got out of the Homo Room a short time later.
Jim Forbes said that once Howard got taste for that new bit, he didn't let it go. That led into another Bob Wa K-Rock clip where Howard asked for Bob to come back into the studio so he could go back to the Homo Room.
In the clip Gary told Howard that Bob had left already. Howard wanted to take someone in there so he asked the guys who he should take. Howard said he wanted to take Gary in there because he kind of likes that swarthy look of his. Howard said it would be more fun with Bob than Gary though. Howard said he wasn't sure he wanted to take that jerk into the homo room. He did it anyway. Howard said that they hadn't been in there for 5 days and there were dripping sounds. Howard figured they were bodily fluids.
Howard said Gary was going to be a jerk in the Homo Room. Gary didn't sound like he wanted to be there. Howard danced with Gary in the Homo Room but he wasn't sure he wanted to dance to the music that Fred played. Howard found some better music that he would dance to. Howard and Gary pretended to dance but Howard said he hated dancing with him. Howard said they could play penis ping pong but he might have to wait for Bob to come back. Howard took Gary out of the Homo Room and said he'll wait for Bob to come back. Howard said Gary was putting up with anything he did down there. He kicked him out of the studio after that.
Jim Forbes said that bits like that led to Howard wanting to save his shows on tape. Howard said he went to Tom and asked him if they could save the shows on tape but Tom didn't want to pay for the tapes. They had Tom Chiusano talking about how he never said they couldn't save the tapes. He said that Howard was very meticulous about keeping track of everything that was done on the show. That was part of his genius and they had to keep the tapes to create the ''Best of'' stuff they did.
Howard talked about how Tom didn't want to pay for the tapes and he still makes fun of him about that to this day. He said the tapes were only like a buck a piece.
After that we heard another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about how the station wants them to run tapes of the show while they're on vacation. Howard asked some fans what they wanted to hear when they're on vacation. One woman said she'd like to hear him all day long. She said she would miss Howard terribly if he was gone and she'd love to hear tapes of the show. Howard wasn't sure that was a good idea. He said they used to do that with Imus and his old bits but it never really seemed to work. Howard said that they should charge the station for the tapes but his agent might have something to say about that.
They went to break after a quick clip of Maria Melito talking about running Best of Stern for 7 years at K-Rock. She said that she was able to get caught up on the show by doing those Best of shows.
In the clip Howard said that the listeners were disappointing them with their song parodies. Gary had started listening to them the night before. Gary came in and said that he listened to about 200-250 of them. He said he only found one that was the best of the sack of mail he went through. He said it wasn't even the best song parody they had gotten. Howard played the song and the guy was yodeling about going to London with K-Rock and the Stern Show. Howard said he thought it was pretty good. Howard talked about how they were going to take 15 winners, with a guest each, to London with them.
After the clip we heard Howard talking about how the trip to London was a big pain in the ass because they didn't have all of their stuff with them. Howard said that the station really wanted them to go though. Howard said he didn't like traveling that much so it was kind of traumatic for him. He said it was always interesting but he's not sure if it paid off or not. He hoped it did.
Robin talked about those trips and how they'd start drinking early and they'd all get drunk before the evening. She said that the alcohol was much stronger over there so they got drunk quicker.
They went into more of the K-Rock stuff where Howard was going to call some of the winners of the song parody contest. He and Robin talked about how they weren't going to stay in the same hotel as the fans were staying. He said that they'll stick with them for the 4 hours of the show but that's enough.
They broke into that clip to let Fred say a few words about their trip over there. He said that it was good that they had the listeners there with them, it was fun. Gary said that Ian Anderson was one of their guests over there and he was waiting for the guy to walk in and had heard that he was a salmon farmer when he wasn't in the band. Ian ended up showing up in gloves and overalls and he looked nothing like the guy he grew up listening to. He said it was like a guy taking a lunch break from the salmon farm.
We heard from Ian Anderson as well. Ian was talking about how crazy the show was and how Howard hopped right into Aqualung when they performed the song. That led into an audio clip from the London show where Ian visited.
In the clip Howard introduced Ian and whistled and hummed some Jethro Tull songs to him. They spent a few minutes talking and then performing some pieces of Jethro Tull songs.
Gary came on and said that he remembers being over there and asking the place to turn down the music in the restaurant they were broadcasting from. They didn't have a way of doing it in sections so they had to turn it down all over the restaurant. That led into a clip where Howard and Dave Letterman were talking about the shows over in London. Howard said that the people over there hated him and he has no desire to go back after dealing with the Hard Rock.
Gary said that they used to promote guests that would be coming on the show but the other stations would threaten the guests to never have them on again so they had to stop promoting them. Fred talked a little bit about being over at the Hard Rock in London and the way things were going there. Tom Chiusano said they had to scramble and find another location to do their show from after the Hard Rock thing fell apart. Fred said that he thinks other stations there were trying to keep them off the air. Gary said that they found out that WNEW found out about them doing the show from the Hard Rock and told them that they couldn't do another live show from the Hard Rock if they were doing one on WNEW. That's why they got kicked out.
Gary said that they ended up running the show from another place through a phone line to a satellite uplink and back to New York. Gary said that it was complete insanity that day because they had to take the guests from the Hard Rock to this other place. He talked about how crazy things were that day and how Howard was very angry but able to channel that anger into a great show. Gary said the speech he made that day was like something from Animal House. Gary said it turned out to be one of the best shows they ever did.
After that we heard some audio from that London show where Howard went off on the people who were trying to stop them from doing their show. Howard went on to talk about the way he wanted to crush WNEW for what they did to them. He said he was begging the fans to help them crush the station by giving him ratings. Howard said he's just trying to do a dopey radio show and they just have to put something better than him on their station and they'll be able to beat him.
Gary came back on and said that they were in a recording studio doing the show from an office. All of the listeners were on the floor sitting there when Roger Daltrey came in and did his performance. Howard said he thinks that their show was the first ''Unplugged'' type of show with the guests they had on in those early years.
They went into some of the audio from the London show where Roger Daltrey performed ''Won't Get Fooled Again'' live on the show.
After that we heard Gary talking about the Billy Squire show where Fred wanted to kick the shit out of the guy. Fred said that he has a problem with people acting snobby on the show and that's how he felt Billy was acting that day. Fred said that Billy came in one day and he obviously didn't want to be there. Gary said the guy wasn't very nice and had enormous attitude. Fred said the guy sat down like the Queen of England and rubbed him the wrong way. Fred said Howard asked Billy to play a song but when he went over to give him the guitar, Billy brushed him away. Fred said that it pushed a button in him and he really didn't like it. Gary said Fred continued to vent for hours after that.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about how Dee Snider showed up when they were over in London. They had Dee talking about how they were going to go out one night and figured they'd just have a nice quiet night out. Dee said that the door flied open and the whole Stern Show crew ended up walking in with tape recorders, instruments and all of that getting ready to jam. Dee said that was it for the quiet night out.
Howard talked about how Dee ended up singing with him and Dee going out to beat the shit out of a guy in the audience and how crazy all of that was. Dee talked about what happened that night with this other band that was out in the audience. They decided to throw shit at Howard and Dee snapped and went off on the guys. They alternated between Dee and Gary talking about what happened that day. Dee said that his relationship with Howard really grew after that point.
After that we heard another clip from those days where Howard had Dee come on the show the next day to talk about what had gone on the night before. This is from my 1986 archives page
Howard said that Dee's bodyguard was with Dee when he came in. That's the guy who had his pants down in the kitchen last night. Howard told Dee that he is a nut. He wanted to talk to him about what went on last night and talk to the bodyguard about what he did.
Dee said that the guys they were fighting with were from the band Sig Sig Sputnik. Howard said that he and Dee met over at the David Letterman show and he's really glad he has him as a friend now. Before he met him he was hoping to meet someone like Mick Jagger but now he's glad he met Dee. He talked about Dee going flying into the crowd and how he didn't even stop singing when he did that. He waited for a break, flew over two tables and over Frank's wife's head. He said Dee is his hero for the way he defended him. He said a lot of listeners were upset that he didn't fight for himself but he had to stay on stage and sing.
Howard said the whole thing was crazy. He had the guys play some more of the audio from their performances on stage so he could hear it. They really were having some fun. Gary told Howard that he saw one of the bodyguards taking off his pants last night. The guy ended up making 41 pounds for doing that. He wasn't going to do it until the guys threw in more money. He eventually pulled them down and showed off what he had in his pants. Gary said the guy was hung like a Clydesdale.
Howard said he seriously didn't know how macho Dee was and that all came out of nowhere. Dee said he was having flashbacks from the days working in clubs in Asbury Park, New Jersey. He said the club scene can be brutal. He said instinct just took over and he had to jump out there and take care of business. Dee didn't think Robin was doing anything but she told him she was giving the finger.
Howard asked if Dee's bodyguard actually beat up any of the guys from that other band. The guy said they weren't going for it so there was no beating up. Howard said that Dee really impressed him when he jumped into the crowd to fight and then ended up back on stage to get back into the song without missing a beat. He played the audio from last night and went over what was going on once again.
After that clip we heard Howard and Fred talking about how crazy things got over there in London. Fred said that they were behind glass over there and someone tried to get past the glass to get to them. Howard said it was weird stuff going on over there. Fred said that the locals wanted to choke Howard for what he was saying. Gary said he loved it because Howard didn't go to break or anything, he just stayed on the air and let the woman go off on him. Gary said the woman hated them and didn't even know the show. Here's some of my 1986 archives write up from that segment:
In the clip Howard had Craig and Jim do their lesbian song parody. They sang their song but in the middle of it Howard interrupted it and had Gary go over to talk to a woman who was upset with what they were doing. She wouldn't talk on the air but a guy told them that they were offensive and slagging off the English all morning. The guy said that someone has gotten upset about it and that's it. The woman finally got on the microphone and said that she didn't want to hear them again. Howard told her that they really love the English and they'll be going home tomorrow.
The guy said that they had come in there and started going off on the English. He said that he heard him talking about how the English hated him but they really don't know who he is. Howard said he's really nobody. The guy said that if they don't know who he is, how are they supposed to like him? Howard said it was just a big misunderstanding and he really wasn't trying to cause any problems. He said he loves those guys and all of the English.
After the London clip we heard Robin talking about how the British just hated them over there. She said that was the first time that she understood that the American attitude was really annoying to people around the world. Gary said he remembers Howard getting hit by something as they were walking down the street and they never were sure what it was that ended up in his hair. Gary said it may as well have been an anvil on their heads saying ''Yankees go home.'' That led into another London show clip. Here's some of that from my archives:
Howard started off the last day in London talking about how they were at the Dickens Inn again. He said it was a love fest out there. Robin said she was exhausted from this trip. Howard said he's exhausted too and he can't wait to get home and get a real piece of fish. He also talked about how much he's been having sex with himself. He said he got back to his hotel and pulled down his pants very quickly once he got into the room. He got distracted when he saw a young kid sitting in the audience. He spent a minute talking to the kid about what he wants to do for a living. The kid, Kyle, said he wants to be a motorman or a great chef. Howard liked that he was being realistic and didn't say he wanted to be a senator or something.
Howard said that this kid Kyle has no idea what he's talking about when he says he's having sex with himself. He told him to go sit down next to his sister. He got back to his sex talk and said he was having a wild orgy with himself in the room.
After that clip Gary talked about how they had Bryan Adams come on the show out there in London. He said Bryan was smokin' hot at the time so it was a big guest to get on the show. He said he was getting shit for the guests the day before so he got nervous when Bryan didn't show up on time. He said it got later and later and the guy finally showed up so he had to thank him. He said that Howard and Bryan performed a song together and it turned out to be another great show that just kind of fell into place. They played another clip of Howard singing along with Bryan as he played ''It's Only Love.''
After that we heard Howard talking about how those shows made for some legendary moments. Gary said it wasn't quite the way they expected them to turn out but he does have fond memories of them. He said they did learn a lot about going on trips from that trip. Howard said that he and Robin don't usually get to hang out so that was something they did over there. Howard said that they usually go their separate ways these days. Howard said that they became best buddies over there in England. That probably helped the show.
They played another clip from the final show they did in London where Howard thanked everyone that helped them out over there. They went to break after that.
In the clip Howard was trying to get his voice even lower than it was on the harmonizer. He said he wasn't particularly pleased with the way it sounded. Scott adjusted it and it got really low. He suggested that they load his testicles on a truck. He told Scott to give him even more balls. Scott turned it down really low. Howard had Jackie come over and talk into it and then had Gary come in and talk in that low voice. Howard said Gary's breath was really bad from smoking and drinking coffee. Then Howard had Robin get on the mic to hear what she sounded like with a deep voice. Robin got on it but she still sounded kind of like herself or an effeminate man.
Howard said Robin sounded like a homo and said he couldn't believe he was working with a homo. Howard said she sounded kind of like a transsexual. Howard said he's going to get Robin hooked into the system so they can do a whole two man team show. Howard said they can do some bad two man team show radio like the other radio stations are doing. Howard said that Robin was a real woman and her woman's voice was coming right through the harmonizer. Robin started to lower her voice a bit so she'd sound more like a man. Howard said that they would be like Bob and Ray.
We heard a quick clip of Scott talking about how Bob and Ray eventually got banned from the show. That led into another classic clip of Howard and Robin talking to Susan Berkowitz about traffic and then going into their Bob and Ray bit. Howard and Robin talked to Susan as Bob and Ray. Susan just wanted to do her traffic report and said that the whole show has dropped to a new level. Susan said she'd prefer that they get back to the spanking stuff instead of this stuff. Howard said that was pretty wild but Susan said she was just trying to defend herself.
Bob and Ray had some fun with Susan while she was on the line. She played along with them the best she could. She eventually did her traffic report but Howard interrupted her with some more goofing around. They played farm animals over her so Susan said ''Oh come on!'' trying to make it stop. Howard ended up chasing Susan around the studio and asked her to come over and sit on his lap.
Howard's mother Ray called in and told him that she couldn't believe what he was up to on the show. Howard said he only spanked Susan once. He told his mom that she had to have gotten spanked or at least thought about it. Ray said that she was going to spank Howard next. She said she didn't like the Bob and Ray combination either.
After that clip we heard Scott the Engineer talking about Ham and Slam which were other characters that worked on the harmonizer. Scott said they were eventually banned from the show as well.
After that we heard Howard and Robin doing that bit on the show one day for the first time. They were doing it as an experiment. Howard and Robin were going to be working off a script and ad-libbing as well. Howard said that Ham and Slam the gerbils were making their first appearance in this bit. Howard said they were going to be outside of someone's butt and they were going to crawl in. Howard said he could handle his part of the bit. They said they were two gerbils who live inside of Boy George's butt. Fred played some sound effects of the ass opening up and then Ham and Slam slid in. They were in their high voices and joked about gay stuff while they were in there.
After that clip we heard Jackie the Joke Man talking about some other ideas they came up with. He said that he wanted to do the Carnac impression with Howard as Sternac. That led into another classic bit where Howard did his Sternac character.
In the clip Howard and Robin were working out how to do the whole Sternac bit. Howard made some suggestions and had Robin introducing him as if she were Ed McMahon introducing Carnac. Robin said she had 8 envelopes there for Sternac to work with. Howard told her that it's only 5, it's not that easy to write those jokes so there were only 5. The first answer was ''Spotless.'' The question in the envelope was ''Describe a household after the family pet, Spot, is hit by a cement truck.''
The next answer was ''Thongs.'' Sternac opened the envelope and the question was ''What doth Frank Sinatra thing?'' Howard said this was just like the Tonight Show bit, the jokes weren't funny. The next one was ''Eye Strain'' with the answer of ''What do I do when I'm constipated?'' Next up was ''Mountain Grown'' with the question of ''Describe a date with Meg Griffin.'' The last envelope answer was ''A ding bat'' with the question being ''What do you use to knock dingle berries off?''
After that bit we heard Fred talking about the evolution of Kurt Waldheim Jr. He said that it wasn't supposed to be a bit, it was just a goof they were doing on the show around that time because he was in the news. Fred said they took that and made it into a goof of a game show called ''Name that Jew.'' They ended up turning it into a real game show instead of a recorded bit. Fred said he was afraid that people would get upset by the bit but it turned out people thought it was funny and they got that he was making a joke. They played one of those clips where Fred did that character.
In the clip Fred was doing his impression of Kurt Waldheim Jr. and played the game with a caller. They had some prizes to give away but Kurt wasn't even sure what they were so he called ''subhuman'' Gary in to give him the information. Howard then picked up a caller and told him how they were going to play the game ''Guess Who's the Jew.'' The guy was ready to play after he turned down his radio. They played the game and Kurt gave out the names Edward Asner, Cloris Leachman and Ted Knight. The caller guessed it was Ted Knight. He was wrong since it was actually Ed Asner who was the Jew.
After that bit we heard another one where Howard tried to contact the late Ricky Ricardo. Fred played some dream music and Howard tried to get in contact with the dead. Fred played some ''I Love Lucy'' music as he was doing that. Howard then contacted Ricky and did his impression of Desi Arnez. He did that for a few minutes joking about Desi's death and family. He sang along to Babaloo and sang ''Turning blue'' and some other goofy songs. He sang some rock songs with bongos playing in the background. ''Desi'' sang some more and talked about how he died and blamed Lucy for his death. He eventually came out of the impression. Robin said that his impression used to be good but it didn't last very long. Howard said he can't sustain it more than a minute or so.
After that we heard Susan Berkley talking about being in the doctor's office after a mammogram and having two doctors come barging in saying that she was ''Susan Berzerkowitz'' from the Stern Show as she was half naked. She said people would do that to her at stores and stuff and she never wanted to be bothered by another fan so she'd deny being that person. She said people still remember her from that show 22 years later though. They went to break after that.
Gary said that Richard was very animated and very funny on the show. Fred said Richard was a unique friend of the show and he wasn't lighting the show biz world on fire at the time but Howard was fascinated by him. He'd see Richard on these shows he was on and those things would become things they talked about on the air. Fred said there was a lot about the weird little freak show that they put on the show.
Sandra Bernhard talked about Richard a little bit and said that he has had his moment on the show and he was entertaining and weird. Fred talked about how people started paying attention to Richard after they had him on their show. He said that Letterman started having him on and started doing the same type of thing with him that Howard was doing.
We heard from David Letterman who was saying that he's not sure if they had Richard on because of those appearances on Howard's program. Dave said that Howard has shown them the way on his show many times though. He said that he stole the element of having his mother doing stuff for the show from Howard. Dave said that Richard is annoying and if you can't say anything else about him, you can always say he is annoying.
They played an old clip of the show where Howard was wondering what to do with Richard. He thought about bringing him into the Homo Room but calling it the Interview Basement or interrogation room instead.
We heard from Howard talking about bringing Richard into the homo room and not remembering it at all. He said he can't imagine why he would have done that.
They went back into the old clip where Howard and Robin were coming up with more things they could do with Richard that day. Richard eventually came in screaming at Howard. He went over and rubbed his back a little bit and then talked about hanging out with him the night before. Then Howard brought Richard down to the Homo Room but didn't call it that for Richard. Richard went in but not very willingly. Howard threatened to hook him up to some battery cables so he could shock him. They spent a few minutes down there before Richard ran out of the studio.
After that we heard from Richard again about how he's really a loner who is on the road most of the year. He said he just does his work and then goes away. He said Howard fascinated him because he had no fears, kind of like him. Richard said Howard was pretty terrible to him and made fun of him. He said it felt okay to him though and they both got their jabs in. It also made for great radio. Richard said that it was amazing how many people heard about him after that first appearance on Howard's show.
Gary talked about how Z-100 had been having Richard on the show for years and then they realized they lost him to the Stern Show. Richard got a call from the Z-100 show that he had been going on and they asked him to come back. Gary said that Richard said he told them that he'd rather eat pussy than go back on that show.
They played a clip from the interview they did with Richard for this special and Richard refused to say a word about what Gary had just talked about. He didn't say a word when asked about it.
They moved on again to another old K-Rock show where Howard talked about how he wanted to rape the ratings of WNBC.
We heard from Tom Chiusano who was talking about the increases of sales and ratings there at K-Rock after Howard started there. They were all very happy about that of course.
Robin said that NBC never got what they had over there when Howard was there. She said that they still didn't recognize what they had even after he left. Robin said they didn't want them to succeed so they wanted to kill NBC. Robin said that she knew that they had to be dark and bold with the show to take them down. Fred talked about how lame Imus was and how they had to convince people that he was.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about hearing from an old friend over at WNBC who said that Imus has been freaking out about his ratings lately. Howard said he heard that Imus said that the day Stern beats him in the ratings, he's going to suck a certain part of a dead dog's anatomy. Robin wondered what part that might be. Howard said it's the meat whistle. Howard said they got ratings back yesterday for the month and they're gaining on Imus. If they keep up the ratings climb they'll be sending over a dead dog for Imus to suck. Howard said he heard that the ASPCA was getting complaints from the dead dogs. Howard said that they should have a deal where Imus has to suck off 10 dead dogs for every time they beat him in the ratings.
After that clip we heard Fred talking about how they did beat Imus after that. All of morning radio had to change after that. Howard said that he thinks that they didn't take more than one rating book to become number one in the mornings. He said it was a big accomplishment for him. Gary said that WNBC was as sinking ship after that.
Howard said that Imus didn't do anything spectacular on his show and didn't even talk the way he does now. Howard said Imus started to imitate him back when he was on WNBC with him and that really irked him. His big focus was to show that he could be number one and have really big ratings.
We heard another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about doing a funeral for Imus after they got their big ratings. Then we heard from Fred, Robin and Howard about that first funeral and how it wasn't that big of a turn out. Howard said that he did carry on some but didn't remember all that much about it. Robin said that they went over to NBC and marched around announcing the death of Imus to the people who showed up. Robin said they had a good time and the cops had to show up there.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said that the fans were going nuts and rocking the limo. Gary said that he remembers the huge crowd around the limo and how they got yelled at by the cops down there. They ended up threatening to arrest one person who was supposed to be in charge of what was going on down there.
After that we heard an interview that Howard did with a CNN reporter about his huge ratings. Howard ended up going off on the reporter because he had echo in his ear and wanted to be interviewed by someone in New York. Howard and the reporter spent a few minutes talking about that but Howard kind of took over the interview and started asking the reporter questions.
Jim Forbes said that two days later Howard's wife gave birth to Debra Jennifer Stern. Howard said that he used to go home to Long Island after the show and he'd hang out and take care of the kids with his wife. Howard said that it's really remarkable having kids and being responsible for someone like that.
We heard more of the K-Rock stuff where Howard explained to his older daughter how the stork works and how he and her mommy just kissed a lot to make the baby. Howard joked that he told her that he humped her mom and then she cleans the house.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he was raised in a house where the man made the money and the woman stayed home with the kids. He said that it's hard to balance that stuff when you have a job like he does. Howard said that he's very driven and he was working 24 hours a day on his career. Howard said that doesn't work out for everyone.
Jim Forbes said that Robin called in sick one day in the spring of 1986 so Howard called in Bo the Lesbian to fill in for her. That led to another K-Rock clip.
In the clip Howard was freaking out that Robin wasn't there and that Gary wasn't there either. They interrupted that clip with Howard talking about how Robin flipped out when she found out that they had called Bo in to do the news for her. Robin came on and said that she probably did freak out back then because they probably tried to get her undressed while she did the news. Fred said that Robin isn't replaceable and having a lesbian on the air doing the news was kind of a wild thing.
They played more of the K-Rock clip where Howard had Susan Berkowitz on to do her traffic. Howard said that he was going to spank Bo the Lesbian while she did that. Howard said his mother was laying all kinds of guilt on him about that the night before. Susan didn't sound too thrilled and said she didn't condone this.
Howard had Bo come over to him and lay down on his lap so he could spank her. Susan read her report and Howard spanked Bo. Susan had to ask her to keep it down so she could get through her report. Howard continued to spank Bo as Susan did her thing. Bo thanked Robin for staying home that day. Howard said his hand was starting to hurt after he spanked her for a good 2 minutes or so. He said he was pretty aroused and said he felt 18 again after that.
Howard took a call from his mother Ray after that. Ray went off on Howard for doing that and told him to stop the shenanigans. She said that women don't like this kind of behavior. She said that all she knows is that the show gets out of control when Robin isn't there. Howard had Bo take her top off and said that she had beautiful breasts. Ray said she's not sure why Howard carries on this way. She wondered who he thinks enjoys this kind of entertainment.
Howard told his mother that he's not having sex with her, he's just doing it for a stunt on the show. Ray told him to listen to him and told him that enough's enough. Howard told Bo to put her clothes on after that. Howard then told his mother that it would turn him on if she listened while he spanked this woman. Ray said that she's going to stop listening like he asked her to do. She said she has opinions and she's not going to be a phony.
After that we heard Howard talking about how his parents were serious about that stuff and he must have been out of his mind back then. Howard said he felt bad after doing it but he felt he had to do it for the show. Howard said he didn't think it could be any other way at the time. He said he was in heat for the radio show and he was doing all kinds of stuff like that. Howard said he should have had bounds but he really didn't.
Ben Stern said that Howard was two different people back then and he had to look at it as two different people. Ray said that Howard doesn't want people to know that it's two different people but that's the way they see it. Ray said that people come and tell her that on their own too and that's what she observes.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard talked to his dad about the spanking. Ben asked Howard about what his mother thought. Howard said she didn't like it but that doesn't mean that he can't like it. Ben said he has to live with Howard's mother so he has to agree with her. Ray got back on and said she's sure that Robin wouldn't like this stuff either. She told him not to waste his time on this kind of nonsense. She said that he could spend more time on skits and stuff. Howard said she's right and he would stop the spanking.
After that clip we heard from Fred about the Bo the Lesbian stuff. Fred said that he thinks that Bo did just about anything they threw at her. He said that Robin wasn't too thrilled with them after that and he doesn't think that they ever heard from Bo again after that.
Next up we heard Howard calling Robin to find out if she was going to be in the next day. Howard had some guests in the studio that he introduced to Bo while he was making the call to Robin. Howard said Robin's voice sounded fine until she started talking and it kept cutting in and out. Howard told Robin that she had to come back. Robin said that she has to have a long talk with him about what he did. She said that Howard sounds like a little old man in a peep show booth and he really had to stop it.
After that quick clip we heard Howard talking about the tough years he and Robin had back then. Robin was hard to work with off the air and they were both crying sometimes and he isn't sure what was going on with her. Howard said that he would put up with anything from her though. Robin said that she would lose her mind for no apparent reason back then and she's not even sure what that was about.
Next up was another K-Rock clip where Howard was going to call Diane Keaton but he was too afraid to do it. Robin was trying to convince Howard that he could do it but he wasn't sure he could. He couldn't bring himself to do it so Robin made fun of him about that.
We heard Howard talking about how Robin was making fun of him like that back then and how he had to do something about it. She would get set off on the show and would stop talking to him. Howard said his mother used to do the same thing to him when he did something wrong so he had to figure out what to do. Howard said he didn't think he could do it with her anymore on the air and talked to his wife about it.
Robin said that the next morning at work Howard walked in and asked her if she didn't want to work with him anymore. Robin said they screamed at each other for a few minutes and then figured they had to go to Mel and talk to him about not working together anymore. Robin said she figured she'd tell Howard what she thought of him finally and told him that she thought he was the greatest person who had ever done radio. Then Howard said that he thought she was the greatest side kick a guy could ever have and they broke down in tears. That was that and they figured they had to go out and do a show. Robin ended up going into therapy after that.
Howard said that was the closest he ever came to breaking up the show with Robin. He said that she was so great on the show that he felt he needed her there to fill in the blanks of the show. Howard said she knew how to spur him on and he liked that. Howard said some teams never realize that they need each other but he figured they had to keep this together. They had something really good and he didn't want to break it up. He said he's glad that it worked out because he can't imagine doing it without Robin. They went to break after that.
After that clip Jackie talked about how real those gay movie house clips were. They weren't writing the gay jokes for that stuff. He said that they thought it was really funny to call that line.
They went back to the K-Rock clip and Howard was in the middle of making the call to the Bijou theater. In the message a very effeminate man with a very distinctive voice talks about the gay movies they have playing there at the theater. Jackie started laughing as soon as he heard the guy's voice. They listened to some of the movie descriptions and got a few laughs from them. Howard cut it off as they were about to give out the phone number to the theater. Howard said he liked that guy. He did an impression of the guy for a few seconds.
Next up we heard Dee Snider talking about doing the show back in those early days at K-Rock. Dee said that he would drive in with Howard early in the morning and hang out with the guys for the morning. Dee said that Howard was the top guy in town at the time but not outside of New York. Dee said that he would be there when other guests would come in and it was very intimate compared to what it is now.
In the next K-Rock clip we heard Howard talking about the ratings and how worried he's been about them lately. He said they really don't matter though. He said that when a tragedy happens in your family the ratings really don't matter. Howard said he had a really tough time the night before and he wasn't going to talk about it. Then he figured that maybe he should talk about it. Robin said that they do hear that the show must go on but sometimes it just can't. That led to Howard talking about how his grandparents were killed in a car accident last night and the guy who did it was drunk and is a foreign diplomat so they can't charge him with anything. Howard said he wasn't sure if he was going to come into work for a while after that. He said they were going to bury them down in Florida the next day.
Howard said that he was thinking that this might inspire bigger ratings now that his grandparents have died and he's gone through a horrible tragedy. Robin said that she couldn't believe what he was saying. Howard said that he doesn't want the ratings, he was just thinking that it could bring them some. Robin said that he didn't seem that broken up about it either. Howard said he was still in shock. He said he was freaking out inside. He said that the thing that would make him feel better is if he actually got some big ratings. He said he'd take zero ratings if he could get his grandparents back though. Howard broke down crying about it and told Robin she knows how much he loved his grand parents. Robin said that an anecdote would be nice.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he lost his girlfriend. The guy said he was driving when it happened. Howard called the guy an idiot and a schmuck for bringing that up. Howard asked the guy if he felt bad for him. The caller, sounding upset, said that he had never had anything like this happen to him. The guy
All of that was phony and Howard was just trying to get ratings. Robin had to stop him in the middle of it and asked him who he thinks is going to believe this. Howard said he thought she was falling for it. Jackie asked if he was really lying because he had him fooled. Howard said he was just trying to get ratings and Robin ruined it. The caller told Howard that was pretty sick. Howard said he didn't know how else to get ratings from people.
The caller said he had his doubts but Jackie didn't. Jackie said he even heard Howard saying that it was just going to be a bit and he was still fooled. He forgot about that and was sitting there in shock. Howard said that Robin spoiled it and she has to start thinking about the show from now on. Howard said they could have had a 50 share if she had gone along with it for a few more minutes.
Howard took a call from his sister Ellen who was saying that this is cruel and she was kind of believing the story herself. Howard said his family doesn't care about him getting ratings. He said that he hopes that he loses his ratings and he has to move to Los Angeles so he can get away from them. Howard said she just had to play along with him today. Ellen said that she really thought something had gone wrong. Howard hung up on her and said that must have been a wrong number.
Tom Chiusano said that he and Mel had a discussion about the music and they agreed that the listeners were tuning in to hear Howard so they stopped the music on his show. Howard said he was able to keep people listening if he didn't play music. The music would chase people away. They stopped playing music after that and Howard would only play music when he wanted to.
That led to Tom talking about how Howard just wanted to have musicians in the studio live to perform songs. Then Jim Forbes introduced Joe Walsh who said he was told that it was a mistake going on that show because Howard would rip him to shreds. Joe said he had the attitude that he wouldn't get ripped to shreds because he could stand up to the guy. He said he's glad he had that attitude when he went in there.
Howard said he never thought he was out of control like Joe Walsh was. He said that Joe was really out of control back then and he'd come in shit faced and drunk off his ass. Howard said that Joe could have been a member of the Wack Pack because he really didn't care about himself or others. He liked that the guy was such a great interview too. Howard said Joe would sing and play the guitar and there weren't many equals out there. Even drunk off his ass he could perform.
Joe said that when the mic isn't on Howard is the nicest guy. He said that when he gets on the air it's a different story and he sets you up in a different way. Joe said that Howard was great, Baba Booey was great and everyone was great there.
That led into a clip of Howard interviewing Joe and asking him to play a song for them. Joe played ''Life in the Fast Lane'' while Howard sang a live commercial for some local advertiser. Howard asked Joe what he was playing because it wasn't quite right. Joe played it again so Howard could sing along with it. Robin got in on the singing as well.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about Joe Walsh calling up Leslie West in that first appearance he made. They had Joe talking about his respect for Leslie and how he didn't remember much about that. They had Leslie talking about that as well. Leslie didn't think that Howard knew who he was at the time though. Leslie said he did start talking to Howard and something just clicked.
They played a K-Rock clip of Howard talking to Leslie on the show for the first time. Howard said he was going to ask Leslie some questions to make sure it was actually him. Leslie was going to play some music along with Joe to prove it was actually him. Howard said that Leslie is actually one of his favorite guitar players. Howard asked who the Vagrants were. Leslie knew what he was talking about so Howard figured it was really him.
Howard spoke to Leslie for a short time and said that he used to masturbate to his records. Leslie said he wanted to give Howard one of his guitars. Howard said that would be great. He ended up asking Leslie about what drugs he was into and found out he was into heroin. Leslie was celebrating his 8th year off of the stuff back then. Joe said he was never into that stuff.
We heard current day Howard talking about how into the band Mountain he was and how great it was to have Leslie on the show. He said he thought the band was huge but found out that they were kind of a cult band. Howard said he used to listen to their music though and he was a big fan. Howard said Leslie was very entertaining on the show back then and he was just as out of control as Joe Walsh was. Howard said he lives dangerously and he was outrageous and lived life to the max. Howard said he was also a true fan of the show. Howard said Joe wasn't as big of a fan of the show as Leslie was.
after that we heard a K-Rock clip where Leslie West came on the show for the first time. Howard was very excited about the whole thing and said that he looked much better than he thought he was going to. Leslie told Howard he's the best. They talked about the drug use and found out that Leslie had only used for 5 years, not the 8 that Howard thought. Leslie told some stories about his drug use and said that he was on acid for a while and then tried heroin. Leslie said he threw up 9 times that first night. Howard did some heroin accidentally one night. He thought it was coke but it turned out to be heroin.
Howard wanted to jam with Leslie and Leslie talked about how good Fred was when he played. Howard told Fred that was some compliment he just got. Fred said he was out of there if he was that good. Howard said that one of the best things about Mountain was that they had two guitar players and a drummer. Leslie corrected him and said there was a keyboard player and a bass player.
Howard asked Leslie to play ''Mississippi Queen'' so he could sing along to that. Leslie went into the song and Howard attempted to sing it. He screwed it up within seconds. Leslie took over and helped him figure it out. Leslie ended up singing most of it himself instead of Howard screwing it up.
After that clip we heard Leslie talking about how he and Richard Belzer were on the show together one time. He said that Howard didn't show up that day and it was one of the few times that he didn't show up to work. Leslie said that was in the days when the commercials would run maybe 5 minutes in one segment or 30 minutes in another.
Dee Snider said that no one really stayed on the show for 5 hours a day but he would do that. He said he was just a welcomed guest who would sit in the whole show and it was an honor for him. He said that it felt great to just hang out and be part of the team back then.
Howard was talking about how great it was having those guys on the show back then because they really contributed. He said they saw the value in the show and how it was good for promotion and it worked out for all of them.
In another K-Rock clip we heard Gary talking to Howard about meeting Daryl Hall. Gary was telling Howard about that and Howard said he doesn't see Gary ever leaving the show. He said he's having too much of a party and he has to make him more miserable so he'll leave the show. Gary said he has no reason to leave because he is having a good time. Howard said he didn't really want him to leave. He said that Gary is getting a little old and he doesn't have any abilities other than being his producer.
Howard said Gary has dental there and that's got to be worth 10 grand a year. Plus he gets the 28 grand a year working as a producer. Howard asked him what he said to Daryl Hall. Gary said that Mark the music director introduced him and apparently knows the guy. Howard said that Daryl is a dick for not showing up on his show and he should have told him that. Gary said he told Daryl where he was from but Daryl didn't really say much of anything. Gary said they did chat for about 5 minutes about the new album and things like that. They talked about that for a couple of minutes.
After that clip they wrapped up today's History of Howard Stern: Act II. It was about 11:40am.
Howard's agent, Don Buchwald, came on and talked about how he discussed it with Mel Karmazin to make the deal happen. Mel wasn't interested at the time. Mel said he just wanted Howard in New York instead because that's where the money is. Mel said Howard would say that he wanted to be in Philadelphia and he thought he could go to number 1.
Don said that Mel thought they could lose the strength of who Howard was if they have him on in other cities. Mel was very hesitant to do it. Howard said he was willing to put his ass on the line to make it happen. Mel said that Howard convinced him that it would make the radio station more successful in Philly so he'd be enjoying the benefits of having a number 1 station in both cities.
Robin talked about how they should have been willing to go along with the experiment from the start. Sales manager Sam Benrubi said a few words on the move as well. Mel talked about how they thought he was the visionary when it was really Howard who was.
Don Buchwald said that he insisted that Howard went on the Letterman show first in those days so that was very important too. That led into a Letterman clip where Dave spoke to Howard about his move to Philadelphia.
They interrupted that with some audio of Andy Bloom talking about how bad WYSP was doing back then and how Howard came in and turned things around for them. He said his boss told him to watch Howard on Letterman that night and he should watch. Andy said he went home that night and watched Letterman.
They played more of the Letterman appearance where Howard made his announcement about simulcasting into Philly on WYSP. Howard said that he'd be getting a lot more money doing that too.
Andy Bloom said that dropping Howard into a new market was like dropping a nuclear weapon, it changed everything. Gary came on and said that Howard knew that he was that good to go to number one and he had to let other people know that by going into those cities.
They went into a K-Rock audio clip where Howard took some calls about his appearance on Letterman the night before. One caller said that Gary had loose lips and he had heard about the move to Philly before Howard made the announcement. Howard called Gary in to ask him what he was doing. Gary said that he told this person the day before, not the week before. The caller said he had heard it the week before. Gary then admitted that it was probably a couple of days ago. Howard said Gary is willing to risk his job to get laid. He went off on him for a short time after that.
In the clip Robin was going off on Gary too about releasing that confidential information. Howard said Gary has to make up for that bad breath of his so he has to tell people about confidential information. Howard did an impression of Gary telling people that information. Howard said this caller knew the deal three days before it even went down. Howard said he can't give Gary information like that anymore.
Howard asked Gary if he got laid from the information. Gary said he didn't. Howard asked if she gave him fellatio. Gary said he didn't get anything. Robin said he's going to keep that a secret but not this Philly thing. Gary said he ran into this woman, Lane, at the Van Halen concert they were at the other night and spent a few minutes talking to her.
Howard and Robin continued to goof on Gary about the whole thing for a few minutes. Howard took some calls from some people who were goofing around saying that some girl told them a few weeks ago about the deal to go to Philly. Howard told Gary that word leaks out faster than his farts.
Howard said that people have been ripping him off for years so now he can go into Philly and show them who came up with this stuff. Howard said if anyone is going to be doing Howard Stern it's the real Howard Stern. Howard said there's this guy John DeBella who he's going to take personal pleasure in destroying him. Gary said he's had that guy glare at him like he wasn't allowed to even look at him. Howard said he's really excited about this Philadelphia thing.
After that clip we heard from John DeBella talking about the show he was doing in 1985 and how they were sky rocketing by 1986. They were number one in Philly at the time. Robin said that he was number one and that's who they target when they go into a city like that. Andy Bloom said that the morning show wasn't awful but it wasn't that great either. Andy said that they didn't get the show and they'd go to a bar and ask people why they listen to it. People would say it was funny but their explanations for why it was funny weren't all that clear.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin were goofing on the morning zoo type shows and doing impressions of the morning zoo guys. Howard was talking about how lame they are playing ''Louie, Louie'' and other songs every Friday morning. Howard said they have some kind of formula for those shows and that's the kind of stuff they do there. Howard took some phone calls and did more of his morning zoo guy impression. He took a call and ended up talking over the guy who was trying to say something. He kept that up for a few minutes and had ''Louie, Louie'' playing behind him as he did it. He was making all kinds of annoying and goofy noises like those morning zoo type guys were doing at the time.
After that clip we heard John DeBella talking about what he expected down there when Howard came into town. John said that Mel Karmazin had offered him a job in New York at the time but he liked the job he had down in Philly. They really didn't know much about Howard at the time either so it was just another DJ to him.
General Manager Tom Chiusano said he heard Howard saying that he was going to just let the people of Philadelphia eaves drop on his show. He wasn't going to change the show at all. Then he went after John DeBella and it did change the show, but the audience loved it.
Howard talked about how there was no one else in radio in his mind. He said he couldn't comprehend that anyone else would be listening to any other station. He said he was the best and he couldn't accent that he couldn't get every listener out there. He said that you can't have everything but he believed he could. He said he still has that beast inside of him to this day and it probably goes back to his relationship mother and father. He said he was trying to get the attention from everyone he could at the time.
After that we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard talked about being on in Philly as well as New York. Howard was saying that they were supposed to have an 800 line so he could speak to the people down there and they didn't have it set up. Howard told them to make it happen and get in there. They eventually found that it was set up and the Philly people were able to call in. Howard welcomed the people of Philly to their worst nightmare. Howard started in with John DeBella immediately and pointed out how lame the morning zoo shows are. Howard went off on DeBella and the morning zoo format for a few minutes.
After that clip we heard Robin talking about the way they had to think about doing the show when they were on in another city. Robin said there were a lot of questions and it was something very new to them.
Going back into the K-Rock clip Howard and Robin were talking about how they were off the air at WNBC just 10 months before and now they're back. Howard spent a few minutes on that subject and talked about how they were back and there to stay. He wanted to call people like Joe Walsh and Leslie West to let them know what was going on. He figured that Jon Bon Jovi, Dee Snider and others would be calling in to talk about how great they are too.
Howard took some phone calls from some fans who were wondering what was so great about Philly because New York made him what he is. Howard said this is a big deal and they will move on to other markets if they're big in Philly. Howard said he heard that the station they were on was really horrible at getting ratings so they had their work cut out for them.
After that clip we heard a current clip of Fred talking about the big deal it was going into Philly. He said if it hadn't worked out down there, they wouldn't have gone into any other cities.
Howard talked about the attitude he had about going into Philly and how he felt he had to crush his show. Howard said he didn't even know the guy and just assumed that the guy had to have stolen from his show. Howard said he worked up this hostility toward the guy and he was vicious about the whole thing. Howard said he wanted to win and it became an obsession with him. Howard said he really didn't have anything against John DeBella, it was just that he had a morning zoo.
John DeBella said that he never listened to his competition and he never taped Howard. He said he hadn't even heard his show until he was on it himself. John said he wasn't able to change anything that Howard was doing so he just kept doing his show to keep those people entertained.
Robin said that Philly was the first in the line of cities they went into and John DeBella was just the first dragon that Howard had to slay. Fred said Howard went after him because he was the local morning guy who had ratings. He used to do the same thing with the local stations in New York City.
John DeBella said that he figured that the fans didn't want to hear him attack Howard so he didn't bother to do that. Howard continued to do what he was doing at the time.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin went off on John Debella about the goofy clothes he wears. He found one of him wearing a skipper's outfit. Howard said that was the reason he hates this business. Howard also goofed on him for being bald and having long hair in the back. Howard said he loves bald guys like that who have to wear skipper's hats. He and Robin goofed on DeBella for a few minutes about that stuff.
After that we heard Andy Bloom talking about how you either had to love Howard or no one. He said that Howard made it very personal back then. Robin said that Howard said that they had to clear out the dead weight and then start developing the audience so they know that they're there and they will get to know them.
We heard more K-Rock stuff where Howard was talking about how powerful he was becoming now that he was blanketing most of New Jersey with his show since he was on in New York and Philly. Howard went into his Exorcist voice and said that he's going to become the strongest disc jockey that ever lived. Howard said he will make great radio and will become so powerful that he didn't know what to say next. He ran out of stuff to say. They went to a break after that clip.
After that we heard an old promo where Robin was talking about their national radio show. Howard was talking about it too and had people clapping in the background. They had special guests and other show members that they didn't have on the regular morning show. Robin said that they had music on their national show.
After that clip Howard came on and talked about how he was never able to get that whole thing together. He said it wasn't a money maker and it was only airing on a Saturday morning. He said it just wasn't what he wanted to be doing. He didn't even own the rights to the show. Howard said that you have to have a daily show to make it around the country. Howard said that there has to be interaction with the audience. Howard said it was ultimately a waste of time.
Jim Forbes said that show did have two memorable music acts on it. Bon Jovi and Elton John. Gary said that they didn't know how big Bon Jovi was going to be back then so it was a big thing for them. They also ended up with ''Why Isn't Howard Stern On TV'' with Elton John because of that show.
We heard a clip from that syndicated show where Elton John performed ''Why Isn't Howard Stern On TV.'' Howard told Elton what tune they were going to sing the song to. Elton decided to write a new song instead of singing it to an existing song. He then went right into the song and sang it on that syndicated show.
After the clip we heard Howard talking about how Elton was supposed to go in for surgery after that. He wasn't supposed to sing but he did it for them anyway. Howard said he'll always be appreciative of that song and what Elton did for them.
Howard talked about how horrible Gary's teeth used to be and how his teeth looked like they were made out of wood. Jackie the Joke Man Martling talked about how Gary's breath really stunk and his teeth really did look like wood. He said they didn't make that stuff up, they just exaggerated it a little bit. Jackie said that it wasn't just one day that it came up either. They would talk about it during the show. Jackie said that Gary used to tell them that they might not know it but he has caps on his teeth. Jackie said that was very funny and he thinks his heart stopped because it was so funny.
Gary said he thought people didn't know he had caps but they all knew it and it kind of surprised him. Howard talked about how Gary used to think that they didn't know he had caps but they all did. He said no one is going to tell him that he has horrible teeth though. Howard said Gary thought that someone had told him about the caps but he had no idea that they could tell by looking at them. Howard said he focuses on Gary a lot on the show and he would lick down his teeth and mouth all the time so he focused on that.
They went into an old K-Rock clip where Howard and Robin were talking about a news story about Jennifer Levin's death in Central Park. That led to Howard asking Gary if he had ever had sex like this guy had. The girl's back was to the guy's face when they did it. Gary was having trouble picturing it so Howard had to describe it to him. Howard talked about how he's done that but it hurts.
The woman had bite marks on her too so Howard asked if they were from bad caps. That led to Howard talking about how bad Gary's caps are. Gary said that he paid $400 each for the caps and it cost him $1,600 because he had four of them done. Howard said that good caps would cost him like 10 grand. Howard asked him how the veterinarian is that did his caps. Fred asked if he got the caps at Caps R Us. Howard goofed on Gary about his caps and said they were only 20 minutes into the show and they were already goofing on his teeth. Howard said he'll never get laid again in the tri-state area. Gary said he can't even go to Philadelphia to get laid now. He'll have to go up to Boston.
Jackie the Joke Man said that Howard really didn't like having comedians on and he would beg him to have people on. He wanted him to have Richard Jeni on and Howard refused for many years. Jackie said it was kind of strange that Howard wouldn't have them on his show.
Howard said he didn't know that people were looking at being on his show like being on Carson. He said when he did have people on they were prepared and had an agenda. Howard said it turned out to be good.
That led to a clip from K-Rock where Howard had Bob Goldthwait on the show. Bob came in doing his weird voice and had some material ready for the show. Howard said he enjoyed his work in Police Academy 2 and 3. Howard thought he was good but Bob thought he was jerking him around.
After that we heard Dee talking about how Bob was on the show many times after that. They didn't have a lot of comedians on at the time but Bob was on quite a bit. He said he never got credit for hard selling Bob on the show. He said Howard eventually started having more comedians on and he thinks it worked out pretty well after that.
Fred talked about how Sam Kinison was one of a kind and how sad it is that he's gone. Fred said that people wonder what Sam would be up to today if he had lived. He said that's like asking what Jimi Hendrix would be up to and that's the way he looks at Sam. He was that great. Fred said he remembers having Sam on the show to promote his upcoming CD and hearing that CD before he came on.
They played some of Sam's comedy CD that he was going to be on the show promoting. Fred talked about how great the CD was and how he remembers howling while he listened to it. Fred said he told Howard that he had to hear the cassette because it was some of the funniest shit he had ever heard. Sam came on after that and it was like Howard and Sam were kindred spirits.
Norm MacDonald said that he used to get to open for Sam all the time and he was the funniest guy he had ever seen. Norm said that Sam told him about doing the Stern Show and how he was going to show the man some respect when he went on the show.
Richard Belzer said that Howard and Sam had a love affair and Sam was like a force of nature on the show or on stage when he was out. Richard said that they were kindred spirits and Howard helped Sam out a lot in his career.
Artie was also talking about how Sam and Howard and how that relationship worked out. He said that it was a great time for him to go on the show and it was interesting to see how things were going to work for them.
Howard talked about Sam going up on stage drunk and he'd just make up a whole act while he was on stage. He said he'd have people laughing really hard and he had never seen a gift like that in his life. He said Richard Pryor was great but he never made him laugh like Sam did. Howard said Sam and Eddie Murphy were two that could make him laugh really hard. He said they took it to a new level. Howard said Sam also knew how to come on the show and make it great.
After that we heard Howard interviewing Sam Kinison for the first time. Howard and Sam talked about Muscular Dystrophy within seconds of Sam coming in. They were talking about the Jerry Lewis telethon and how they still don't have a cure for that. Howard said that Sam had a whole entourage with him when he came in. Sam said that Rodney Dangerfield told him that he was born with an entourage and 6 kids had to come out of his mother to check out the room before he came out.
Howard and Sam talked about Rodney Dangerfield and how great he is. Sam was doing a lot of material and goofing around with Howard doing their impressions of the devil. They had their voices really low with the harmonizer.
Howard and Sam talked about doing the Letterman show since Sam was doing it that night. Sam was going to be on with Paul Hogan and Jerry O'Connell. Howard said Sam should get the whole time on the show. Howard said he should demand that he be on first on that show because that's what his agent arranged for him. Howard said people are afraid of Letterman but there are like 50 shows on late night and they should be kissing their asses instead of them kissing the late night show host asses. Howard told Sam he's a comic genius and he should demand that he be on first.
Howard talked to Sam about his family and how he's still married. Howard said he feels that his wife loves him for who he is and he has to stay with her. Sam must have been giving him a look because Howard said he was serious about this. Howard said his wife married him when he was making $96 a week and she must really love him.
Howard mentioned that he had Susan Berkowitz wanting to do her traffic report but he said he would rather talk to Sam. Howard told Sam he sees him as the next Eddie Murphy when it comes to movies. He said he'll be just like Eddie but white.
Sam was saying he knew the love was over with women when they'd stop getting wet for him. Howard said that he's right about that. Howard said his wife will stop talking to him if he talks about this though. He changed subjects quickly. Howard wrapped up with Sam a short time later and asked him not to forget about the show. Sam said he would be back. They went to break a short time later.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about the F-Emmy awards show that carried over to the new show from WNBC. The new show became one of the nation's coveted awards. Alanis Morissette was asked about her F-Emmy win. She said she felt honored to have won one.
DJ Mark Coppola said he liked the way they poked fun at the industry with those F-Emmys. Robin said that the Emmy awards were for people to applaud themselves in the business so they figured they could give themselves awards too. She said it was a goof but they did have to come up with the categories for Greatest Wack Packer, Greatest Fight and so many other things.
That led into a K-Rock clip where Howard did his F-Emmy Awards but wasn't very prepared for it. Howard had Fred start it all over with Jackie as the announcer but that wasn't working either. Robin was instructing Jackie on how to do it but Howard said that maybe she should just do it. Howard used the harmonizer to lower Jackie's voice but it still wasn't working. Howard did the announcing himself instead.
Howard went through some of the F-Emmy awards and thought he was doing better than David Letterman already. Robin pointed out that when they were on NBC they were called the A-Emmys (AM radio). Howard talked about Robin's breasts popping out of her dress and how they were trying to pry them back in there.
Robin said that Dee's wife Suzette was the one who helped get Howard into that rock star look. Howard said that she started to cut his hair and she would help with his clothes. Dee was giving him some t-shirts and stuff too. Howard said the new look was kind of wild and he had a bee's nest of hair on his head. He said it was a mess but they were good friends and it was very sweet.
Dee said he believes that it was the one element that Howard was missing back then. He said that Howard started to look like a brunette Dee Snider back in 1987 or 88. Dee said that people would come up to him and tell him he looked like Howard Stern. They didn't know that it was Howard who was looking like him.
After that we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard talked about making himself over and how his mother freaked out when he got an earring. He said his hair was too short for a while and he felt really self conscious about the ear ring but now it's pretty long and he has to get an ear ring again.
We heard a current clip of Robin talking about how the show was performing and they shouldn't just sit around in jeans and a t-shirt, they should look different from other people. DJ Maria Melito talked about the way Howard did start to ''rock star out'' and how she gave him an ear ring that he actually wore for a while. Meg Griffin also talked about the way Howard was dressing back then with the big hair and tapestry jackets. She thought he looked ridiculous.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said Howard changed the way he was eating and stopped smoking and it was a whole transition for him. Ronnie said Howard got him into it too.
Howard's mother, Ray Stern, said that she saw that Howard was changing and getting too heavy so she told him that. She told him he had to do something about it and that's what he did very quickly. She said that Howard has been watching himself ever since.
Jim Forbes said that it was a few years before Howard hired Ralph Cirella for his personal stylist. They did cross paths earlier though. Ralph came on and said that he heard about Howard when he was starting in New York and how he remembers listening from day one. Ralph used to call the show as a superfan.
That led to some audio from K-Rock where Ralph called in and asking about the song parody contest they had coming up. Howard said they were going to be going on a trip to a tropical climate. Ralph asked Howard to play a Connie Francis Christmas Song that he had just played. Ralph said that his mother didn't believe that he was on the air with Howard so Ralph put her on the phone. Ralph's mother got on and spent a short time talking to Howard.
Ralph got back on the phone and changed subjects saying that he was on Letterman too. Howard ended up putting him on hold so he could play the song that they were talking about. After playing the song Howard wanted to hear Ralph's mother's reaction. Ralph told Howard who he was and how he was on Letterman. Howard asked to speak to his mother and said that he's heard she's been on her knees more than Jimmy Graham. Ralph put his mother back on the phone and she told him that he's her son's hero. Howard goofed around with her for a couple of minutes with a bunch of one liners that Jackie must have been passing along to him.
Ralph got his mother off the phone and let Howard read through a bunch of other Mother jokes that he had. Ralph asked if they had any other mother jokes because they use the same ones week after week. Ralph asked if they had any good writers there. Howard tried a few more jokes but some of them weren't working. Jackie was laughing his ass off at everything.
Ralph told Howard that he was on Letterman and got to ask some audience questions. Howard didn't seem to care. Ralph asked how many dates they were going to be at Club Bene. Howard said it was 4 shows that weekend so Ralph figured it was 2 shows a night. Robin said he was a math genius.
After that clip we heard a current interview with Ralph who was talking about how he was getting into special effects make up and how he couldn't really work with Howard on that until he got into TV shows. Ralph said he went to see Howard doing those shows at Club Bene and they had a lot of fun there. He said he had a great picture of a girl sticking her foot up a guy's ass and it ended up in Howard's book. After that we heard a little audio from that show where the woman stuck her foot in the guy's ass.
Ralph came back on and said that there was an intern at the show and he asked the intern to pass his number to Howard. Ralph said that he got a call from Gary one day and he asked him to come in. Ralph said he liked hearing that and Gary told him that he didn't know how lucky he was to get the call. Ralph said it was like Gary was mad at him from day one.
Ralph went on to say that he went up to meet Howard at K-Rock in this shitty little office he had up there. Howard said that he needed a talking penis and asked Ralph to make it for him. Howard said he wasn't even sure how that came up but he got in touch with Ralph and he was able to make this talking penis. Ralph said he wasn't into making talking penises but he figured he could make one. He said it was really large and like 12 inches around and 4 feet high. Ralph said he had to sculpt it himself since it didn't exist. He was living at home and his mother saw it in his room but didn't talk about it. She just ignored it and didn't mention that he had this giant penis in his room.
Howard said that the giant penis thing didn't work out very well. He said he was pulling the string and the cock wasn't talking. Ralph said that he thought it worked very well. Ralph said that it had a cable on it and the head would talk. He said Howard was live on that show and it was tough to hook it on so the thing went out of his hands and that might be why the bit didn't work. They played a short clip of Howard doing that bit at the club he was appearing at where he used that giant, fake penis that Ralph created. They went to break after that.
After that we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard talked about the FCC reviewing his show and how he was just going to move to TV if the FCC came after him on radio. Howard said he thinks that there were some college dudes who came to New York and tried to do a show on college radio but ended up using the F-word. They were describing homosexual acts in detail. Howard said it was probably entertaining stuff but they got into trouble over it with the FCC. The FCC won't let you use the F-word on radio so someone called the FCC and asked if they were going to investigate Howard Stern. Then the guy wrote that the FCC is investigating him.
Howard said that every other journalist picked up on the story and said that the FCC was investigating him after they got 200 complaints. Howard read an article about that and read the name Donald Wildmon who was the one going after him. Robin said she knew that name because he's known for doing things like this.
Howard talked about how he didn't need the aggravation of Donald Wildmon and he would pull the plug on Philly if this stuff kept up. Howard said he's sick and tired of Philadelphia with the people freaking out down there. The people in New York seemed to be able to take it. Howard said that letting a few people decide what's decent or indecent is a very scary thing. He said he's the highest rated guy on radio in New York and that shows that there are a lot of people who think he's not indecent and want to hear his show.
Robin said that these people who are all against indecency on radio are the same people who are against communism but they don't even realize that they're almost getting there with this indecency stuff.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how kids aren't even listening to radio in the morning, but they do listen at night when they have shows like Loveline on. Robin talked about the way the FCC added words that they couldn't say on the air and they were very arbitrary. They figured they could comply to the rules that existed with these extra words.
Mel Karmazin said he wasn't worried about Howard dealing with the FCC because he was playing by the rules. That led into the George Carlin bit where he names the 7 dirty words.
Howard talked about how he thought the FCC had it wrong about the morning radio thing. He was also saying that he thinks people are very uptight in this country. He said his family didn't get uptight about that stuff and his parents got him a subscription to Playboy when he was 13. Howard said that it's all very silly when you hear what's going on with politicians these days.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about how he never uses the F-word on his show. He said he's embarrassed to be a disc jockey when he reads about what's going on. Howard asked what's going on with this Reverence Donald Wildmon. Howard said the guy is being taken seriously for the first time so he's all over the news. Howard said that it seems to be working though because he has been branded as being obscene. Howard went off on Wildmon for a few minutes saying that if he's obscene then Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Ruth and other people on TV are obscene. Howard wondered why they're not going after the KKK and people like that.
After that we heard Howard talking about how those people were making money off of his name so they could use that to get him off the air. Howard said there were a few groups trying to do the same thing and they were out to become celebrities in their own right by criticizing his radio show. Howard said the whole thing was sickening and disgusting and he hated the whole mess.
In another K-Rock clip we heard Howard and Robin talking about all of the controversy. Howard took a call from a guy wanted to throw his support behind him. Howard wanted to guess who it was and finally figured out it was Abby Hoffman. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Abby about that stuff. Howard said that he read that Abby said that he was a mouth with no brain. Abby said it was a tongue with no head. Howard thanked him for the nice words. He and Abby talked about Abby's jail time. Howard said that Abby should be talking about him, not about himself.
After that clip we heard another made up news report about Howard taking his battle with the FCC to the streets. Then we heard from Tom Chiusano talking about the FCC Freedom rally and how they had to figure out how to make all of that work. He said that Mel was making sure they could make it happen properly. Howard said that thousands of people came out that day. Jackie said they probably downplayed it in the news that day and there were more there than they let on. Jackie said it was a super day.
We heard a news report about the rally and how Grandpa Al Lewis yelled out some obscenities during the broadcast. Howard came on again and said that he thought Grandpa Al smelled a little funky that day. He thinks he may have shit his pants or something. We heard a quick clip of Howard talking about that on his radio show back then.
Howard talked about what went on that day and how nervous they were about those rules that the FCC had at the time and how great the event turned out to be. He said the fans all turned up with signs and stuff in support of them.
Leslie West talked about how they were next to the UN building that day and Howard was bigger that day than he was the day before. He said they could feel it in the air. Jackie also talked about how many people showed up.
Artie Lange was there that day so they had Artie talking about going down there with his buddy. Artie said he got a phone number from a woman down there that day but nothing ever happened. Artie said that Siobhan showed her tits and there were people handing out leaflets about legalizing pot and stuff there too. Artie said he remembers Howard telling Gary to get those legalize pot nudnicks away from his rally.
Next up was another news report about the rally and how there were people taking their tops off and Grandpa Al Lewis showing up to show his support.
Host Jim Forbes mentioned that Grandpa Al was the one who caused more controversy than anyone there. Howard said that Al didn't know what they were really there for. He thought they just wanted to be able to use the F-word on the air but that's not what it was about.
They went into a clip from the rally where Al started saying ''Fuck the FCC'' on the air as they were live. Howard had to cut him off and said he was going to go sedate the guy.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he had to shut Al down that day and how he knew it was going to be bad after that. Fred said that they really didn't need that back then. Fred said that it didn't help their cause at all. Fred said it wasn't supposed to be Fuck the FCC, it was supposed to be ''Support free speech.'' Fred said it certainly didn't help them out.
Jackie said that they weren't on a delay that day so they had to cut him off because Al was yelling it out like 7 times in a row. They ended up going over the tape in the days after that and found out it was like 7 or 8 times. Tom Chiusano said that it added to the aspect of the personality of the show and it turned out to be a good thing even though it was so bad.
After that we heard a clip from SIRIUS where Howard talked to the guys about how that rally went that day with Al yelling out the F-word. Howard was remembering the guy after he had passed away. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said that his ratings were the strongest for a debut that they've ever had. Howard went to the phones and let some fans congratulate them on what they've done. Howard had a 5.2 rating and a caller knew that because he worked at another station down there. The guy said DeBella had gone from an 11.5 to a 9. Howard said that it might take them a little longer to beat the guy but they will do it eventually.
After that we heard from Andy Bloom about the ratings rise at WYSP. Andy said that the war was being entered at that time. He said that's when the fun began down there. Mel Karmazin said that Howard takes no prisoners when he's at war. He said that he has seen it over the years and if you're going to go to war with Howard, he's going to fight dirty. He said he will do what he has to do to win.
Howard said that he was out of his mind back then. He said that DeBella didn't even know who he was and he was just going after him like crazy. He said he couldn't accept failure. Howard said his agenda was to get on the entire country and he was getting frustrated with that.
John DeBella said that Howard got more and more angry and evil after each ratings period. He said that Howard was losing money the longer he took to beat him. John said that Howard didn't beat him for 3 and a half years. John said he knew it wouldn't last forever but he did hold him off. He said it was getting worse for Howard and that's why it got so evil.
Howard said he used to get angry when people would tell him how good the show was because he knew that the rest of the country wasn't hear it. Howard said that he met John after all of those years and found that the guy was a really nice guy. Howard said he apologized for the guy for what he did but John didn't seem to care.
Mel Karmazin said that Howard was wishing diseases on people and things like that. He's said a lot of things on the air that he recoils over but that's Howard being Howard. He's a take no prisoners guy. Mel said you don't want Howard to be your enemy because he will go for the jugular.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard went off on John DeBella about his looks. Howard was talking about how DeBella was saying that maybe he should look in the mirror when he was asked about his ugly comments. Howard said that his fans should send DeBella paper bags to cover up his face.
Fred talked about how out of control the Super Bowl parties got when Jackie ended up sticking his finger up a guy's butt. Fred said that the guy who got the finger up the ass was a sales guy and he won't even say the guy's name. Fred said that he had written ''Giant's Suck'' on his ass and pulled down his pants during the show to show that. Jackie saw that and stuck his finger right up the guy's ass. Fred said the guy shuttered, Jackie pulled his finger out and continued to eat the ribs he was eating. Fred said the guy didn't say another word for the rest of the party.
Jackie said he heard that the guy didn't leave his house for 6 months after that incident. Jackie said he expected to meet more resistance that day but his finger went right in and the only thing stopping him was his fist. He said that he'd probably still be in there if his fist didn't stop him. Jackie said he didn't even think it was that crazy at the time.
Fred said that Jackie had the inside of some guy's ass on his finger but he continued to eat his ribs. He said that might have been the time that his 20 nail syndrome started.
Jackie said he didn't have an excuse for that but there was an episode of All in the Family where Sammy Davis Jr. kisses Archie Bunker just as the camera is going off and he did the same thing that day with his finger when Ronnie took a shot of him sticking his finger up the guy's ass. Ronnie said that he did catch that on camera that day. He said it was perfect timing too.
That led into a K-Rock clip where Howard went through the pictures from the Super Bowl party where Jackie stuck his finger up the guy's ass. Howard said the guy's name was Tonio. Howard showed the pictures to Robin first. Howard showed Robin the picture that showed Tonio's ass and then Jackie's finger going into his ass. Robin said ''Oh goodness!'' and asked to see it again. Howard said that the man's watch was in there. Howard said he was going to sell that picture and blow it up into a poster size. They had pictures of Jackie eating the ribs after he went into the guy's ass with his finger. Howard said that looked like homosexual sex to him.
Ray and Ben Stern talked about that show and how surprised Howard was when she showed up. Ray said she thought it went off very well and she thinks they still have the tape. Ben said they may have given it to Howard but then said that he thinks they still have it.
We heard the audio from that show where David Brenner introduced Howard telling everyone about what Howard does on his show. Howard came out and David asked him what his mother thinks about what he does. Howard said she likes it and gets off on it. Then Brenner brought his mother out and surprised Howard with that. Howard wondered what David was going for there. He said that his mother really doesn't know what he really does and doesn't even think he did drugs in the 70s. Ray told Howard that he should behave himself on this show. Howard told David to ask her if he's seen her naked. Ray told him to act like a plain person.
Brenner asked Ray what Howard was like as a kid. She said he was a normal kid. Howard said there's nothing wrong with him but then he said that he is scum and she must be proud to be the mother of scum. Howard said she's got nothing better to do though. They went to break a short time later.
Then we heard Fred, current day, talking about how it's never fun when you're the subject on the show that they're talking about. Fred said that they all take it on the show though and it all comes up on the air eventually. Fred said that you have to just do it, like paying your taxes.
Richard Belzer said that Fred is a treasure on the show. He said he helps keep the show moving and he's very important to it.
Jim Forbes said that no one could have orchestrated what happened on April 10, 1987. That was the day Fred played Dial-A-Date and found his future wife Alison. Fred talked about how they had a guest who failed to show up that day for a Dial-A-Date so Howard didn't know what to do. Gary suggested that they have Fred play instead. Fred said he agreed to do it that day even though Howard didn't think he would.
They played the audio from that day when Fred played Dial-A-Date. Fred was willing to play the game even though Howard didn't think he was going to do it. Howard said that Fred is a good guy though and women would be impressed with him if he gave them a chance. Howard said he has one writer who would hump a fire plug while Fred seems to be afraid of women.
They had Fred talking about the girls who called in that day and played quick clips of each one. Jim Forbes said that the winner, Bachelorette number 3, ended up changing Fred's life forever. Fred said that she was the most normal of the three who called in and he figured that he could get along and actually talk to this woman.
They played a clip of Alison's call where she talked about what her job was, production coordinator, and how she was a fan of Fred's. She wasn't afraid of going out with him either. She said that she thinks they'd have a great time together. She said she's very selective and just split up with someone so she was ready to go out with someone. She claimed that people told her she looks like Christie Brinkley. She didn't know what Fred looked like though. Howard said that didn't matter and he was getting the date no matter what he looked like.
Howard found out that Alison was wearing and what her measurements were. She was a 36-C cup and was 5'5'' tall and weighed 125 pounds. She said she was very curvy. Howard thought that Fred should have picked number 2 but Fred liked Alison's call better than the other two. Fred didn't make his choice immediately though. He thought about it for a short time before making his decision. Howard said he didn't believe it when Fred picked number 3. Howard said he would have taken number 1 or 2 over her. Howard told Fred he really was crazy.
Howard let the other two girls know that they lost and they thought he was nuts for not picking them. Number 2 said that Fred was nuts to not pick her. She went off on him for a short time so Howard said there is no rational way to get to Fred. Howard told her that taking the rational road was wrong because, with Fred, the bridge is out.
After that clip we heard Fred talking about how they weren't able to set up the date for months after that call. Gary said he told Fred to stay at his place when they did set up the date finally. Gary said that they had it set up at some Mexican restaurant called Break for the Border or something like that. Fred said they had a whole group of people there with him including Mason Reese and some other fans who had things wrong with them. Fred said that his date wasn't there yet.
Gary said that this woman that worked with them had a daughter that was hot and they had set her up on a date too. They all went out for this huge date night and another woman tried to hook up with Fred but Fred wanted nothing to do with this person. Fred said that Alison showed up and he didn't know what he had gotten himself into. He figured that he wasn't going to marry this woman so he was just going to have some fun. Fred said that this woman who was trying to pick him up was making fun of Alison and Alison was shooting back at her. Fred said that he and Alison ended up staying there late and ended up being there alone. Fred said that he and Alison had a great conversation so he stayed there with her.
Fred said that he was going to drop Alison off at her door but he ended up doing more stuff with her and ended up staying the night. He said he figured that was as far as this thing was going to go. Gary said he went home and went to bed thinking that Fred would be able to do his own thing. He said Fred didn't go out much back then so he wasn't sure if he got laid out there. He said he figured he must have gotten laid when he didn't come home.
After that we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard found out that Fred didn't stay with Gary the night before. Howard said he must have gotten some that night. Howard figured that maybe he ended up going home with the girl and he wanted to call her to find out what happened. Howard asked Gary to find out what her number was but Gary wasn't able to get into the office where they had the number.
Howard said that he wasn't sure if Fred had even gotten any before. Gary said that the girl was pretty and had a decent body. He said that they seemed to be getting along really well that night. Howard said he smells a paternity suit. Gary said they were all drinking and Fred had a few.
In another K-Rock clip we heard Gary describing Alison and talking about how nice she seemed to be. He said that Fred and Alison were really getting along well. Howard said he knew Fred for about 10 years and had never seen him with a girl before. Howard said Fred had never shown an interest in women as long as he had known him. Howard wondered why he hadn't called in yet. He said that was kind of disrespectful.
Fred did call in and told Howard he was going to be late. He hung right up after letting him know that. Howard said that he might be without a job too. Howard thanked him for hanging up on him. Howard asked Gary more about the girl and if he would have sex with her. Gary said ''Sure!''
Fred called back in and apologized but then hung up again. Howard said he didn't know what Fred was doing. Howard figured that he must be having sex with the girl but the least he could do is stay on the phone and talk about it.
After that we heard Fred talking about how Alison made him promise to never talk about what had happened that night.
They went back into the K-Rock clip where Fred finally showed up to work. Howard said that he had to find out what happened to Fred. Fred said he was going to say that nothing happened and was going to stick to that. Howard said that Fred was even talking normal now after the date. Fred was an hour late to work so Howard assumed that he had gone back to this girl's apartment. Fred denied it all and said that he didn't remember what had happened from 11 last night until the time he got on the air. Fred told Howard he had to wait for the hardware store to open so he could get a pick axe.
Howard tried to find out what happened but Fred wasn't saying a word. He denied sleeping with Alison and said that he was at Gary's place. Howard said he must have promised this girl that he wouldn't say what happened.
We heard a current clip of Fred talking about how he didn't want to say what happened that night because he was trying to be a gentleman.
They went back into the K-Rock clip where Howard asked question after question about what happened the night before but Fred refused to talk about it. Fred said that nothing happened. Howard said he could smell the sex on Fred and he knew that he had sex last night. Fred said he did take a shower though. Howard said he heard that Fred wasn't eating his food in a pouch last night like he usually does. Fred said he said good night to this woman at 11 last night and went back to Gary's place. Howard said he really wanted to know what happened but he might have to find out during a break.
Howard went to that break and when he came back he said that Fred had a wild night but didn't want to talk about it on the air. Howard said that Fred was in there exaggerating about it. Howard goofed on Fred about the clothes he wore the night before and now he's treating this girl like she's his fiancee. Robin said she doesn't know it yet but she's already engaged to Fred. Howard said he had to call this girl to talk to her. Howard had Susan Berkley on the phone though so he yelled at her since she was ruining the bit.
Howard said he knows what Fred is doing and why he was doing it. He said he can imagine what this woman asked him to say on the air so her mother wouldn't find out what happened. Howard asked if this new Princess Norris is going to be coming with him to the pool party this summer. Fred said that he may go out with this girl again. Robin asked if she was good enough to go out with again. Fred said that she was fine. Howard asked Fred if this meant that he wasn't going to be going home to Connecticut to visit his parents. Fred said that doesn't mean that at all.
We heard a current interview with Fred where he said that they eventually revealed that first night sex on a Newlywed Game they played on the channel 9 show. Fred said that Alison got to talk about it and he didn't. They went to break after that.
Alec Baldwin said that the key to Howard's success is how smart he is. He said that you think that it's low brow shtick but he's actually very smart and he's just doing that because that's what people want.
Howard said that if it was just him saying he wanted to fuck these porn stars, that would be boring. He said that he finds out things about these people that are very interesting. He pointed out a few things like bleaching assholes and things like that which are very interesting to him. He said these people aren't afraid to tell their parents that they're porn stars either and that's fascinating to him as well.
They went into a K-Rock clip where Howard had Paul Fishbein come in with the Porn Report. Paul brought in some porn stars with him and one of the girls was wearing a see through top. Howard said he could see her breasts when she walked in. Howard told Paul to stay out of his sight.
Howard said that one of the girls was wearing a parachute thing. She said that it doesn't matter what she has on top, it's what's inside that counts. Howard found out that one of the girls was Crystal Lane. She was the one wearing the see through top. Howard asked them if they would sleep with him. The girls said they would if he was big enough. Howard told them that he was about 9 inches thick.
Howard said that Crystal was showing off her breasts and asked if she minded that he was looking. She said that's what she was going for. Howard asked her some questions about how she got into the business and things like that. The other girl ended up disrobing and started to play with herself. Howard found out she was Alexis Firestone. She was wearing the parachute outfit so she could strip down for him. Howard asked the girls to French kiss by the microphone and they went right into that. Robin said she was getting sick when she saw that.
Howard said that this was really going on in the studio and he wondered if the listeners believed it. Howard said he's never seen that before right in front of him. He said they deserve the Nobel peace prize. Robin didn't seen as excited about it as Howard was. Not too much later Crystal stripped down for Howard. Howard said that he was seeing everything in there. He said it was the best day of his life. He said they were all naked in there. Fred was cheering and Jackie suggested they send them into Tom Chiusano's office. Howard said he was very impressed but he had to end the segment. He told the girls they could hang out naked there in the studio if they wanted to.
After an edited out break Howard said that the girls were grabbing for him in there. Then the girls got a hold of him and Howard said that his wife was going to kill him. He was being smothered so Fred played some gurgling sound audio clips. Robin asked someone to go over there and save him. Howard said that he didn't do anything but Robin told him that he owes her money now. Howard said ''God bless you girls...'' Robin and Jackie were laughing their asses off over what had just gone on. Howard said one of the girls was jamming her tongue down his throat so he had to push her away. Howard said he doesn't know where that tongue has been. He said he doesn't know what she's got going on there.
After another edited out commercial Howard and Robin talked about the way the girls were able to shove bananas down their throats. Howard said that he'd be in line to go out on a date with Robin if she could do that. Robin got a banana and demonstrated her abilities as well. Howard asked her what her home phone number was. Robin tried again and showed that she could shove one down her throat just as far as the other girls. She said it was no big deal but Howard said it really is a big deal.
After that segment we heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver who was saying that was the Howard on radio and after that he would go home and work in his basement. Meg Griffin said a few words about that as did Robin. Robin said that she figured that his wife would say something to him if she had a problem with him doing it. Meg said that she could only imagine what Alison must have thought about what was going on.
Scott the Engineer was also talking about how Howard would never go all the way with the girls who asked him to touch them. He said that he never got fucked or got a blow job on the air or anything like that. Scott said that the guys out there listening could kind of relate to what he was doing and have fun listening to it.
Robin said that Howard did have a limit and there was one time when they were traveling with some fans out in California and there were a couple of girls on the trip who wanted to sleep with Howard. They were all in the same hotel and the girls were planning on finding out where Howard's room was and they were going to do what they had to do to get to him. Robin said one of the girls came to her and said they knew where Howard was and they were going to go visit him that night. Robin said she went to Howard and told him what was going on. She said that Howard said he was going to rip their tits off if they came near him. Robin said Howard didn't go beyond a certain point with other women.
Howard talked about how he did outrageous things on the show but he wouldn't do anything to hurt his marriage. He said that he didn't have people telling him what he could and couldn't do on the show either. He said that maybe he should have listened to other people about their feelings about what he was doing. Howard said it really meant nothing to him when he went home. At least that's what he though. He said he thought he could have two separate lives but you really can't. Howard said it can hurt a relationship. Howard said he and his wife had very little issue with it at the time but that's because he didn't allow it.
They went into a K-Rock clip where Howard asked Gary about what was going on with this girl he broke up with. Gary said they broke up with each other and he didn't want to talk about it. Gary didn't want to give the details and asked him to please not get into it. Howard wanted to call her but Gary said he didn't want to get into it. Howard told Gary he wasn't going to let him slide on this one.
Robin was the one who found out about the break up. Gary kept asking them not to talk about it but Howard kept it up. He told Gary that he couldn't do any better than this girl he broke up with. He tried to find out why he broke up with her but Gary didn't want to say. He just said it came to a point where they had to call it off. Gary said that he had spoken to her about it on the phone a couple of times and they knew it was coming to an end. Howard told Gary he disgusts him and kicked him out of the studio. He said that was a lovely girl he was dating. Robin said that he'll probably be bringing around bimbos now.
Howard suggested they get Gary's ex-girlfriend on Dial-A-Date. He said they should hook him up with some big stud. Howard told Gary to come back in to set that up. Gary said that he was scum if he did that to him. Howard said that it's for the good of the show. Gary said he knows that she wants nothing to do with that. Howard said he doesn't know that. Howard told Gary he was going to have to chaperone the date if he set this girl up. Gary said he's not going to do this. Howard said it would be great if he had to chaperone the date. Howard asked him for the number again but Gary wouldn't give it to him.
After that we heard Gary saying that Howard may have called the girl after that. He said that he remembered saying that Nancy was working at a hospital and was dating a guy who worked there as an orderly. They turned it into her dating a doctor. This is the girl that Gary made the video tape for where he tried to get her back. Gary said that they did get back together for a time after the tape. They threw in a couple of clips from that ''I want you back'' tape. Like the part where Gary said he lost a lover and a great friend and the part where he says his personal life is at a 2 and his professional life is at a ''noine (9).''
After that we heard the K-Rock audio where Howard called Nancy and asked her how she was holding up after her break up with Gary. Nancy jokingly said that the only reason she went out with Gary was to get to Howard. Howard asked if she wanted to do a Dial-A-Date show. She said she was busy on Friday so she couldn't do that. She also said that the break up was pretty mutual and it wasn't just Gary breaking it off with her.
Howard had Gary come into the studio. Nancy said that it would have been very tacky for her to do a Dial-A-Date. Gary came in so Howard said he thinks that Gary will occasionally get it on with this chick even though they broke up. Howard had Gary tell the story about how they broke up. Howard asked Nancy if she cried. She said she didn't. Howard said that the relationship must have meant a lot to her if she didn't even cry. Gary said they're still talking to each other even after the break up.
Howard told Nancy to call Gary all the names she wanted to call him when she was going out with him. Nancy said that they're still close even after the break up. She didn't want to bad mouth him at all. Howard let her off the hook for the Dial-A-Date thing after that. Howard asked her if Gary was good in bed. She said that they didn't do that. Howard said that they had to be doing that and she should grow up. Howard said he's glad he broke up with her and maybe now he'll get a girl who comes on the air and talks about stuff. Howard said he still likes Nancy and she was still welcome to stop by to visit his house.
After that segment they wrapped up for today. They ended the show around 11:30am.
Jim said that in the spring of 1987 FOX offered Howard a TV show deal. Don Buchwald talked about the one or two guys who came to them and offered them the shot. He said that one of the guys was Garth Ancier. The other one was Kevin Windam and both of them were huge Howard Stern fans.
Howard said that they offered him the shot at taking over Joan Rivers' show at the time. Howard said that they went out there to watch the show and Joan had a guy on the show who grew the largest pumpkin. Howard told the execs that this was all bullshit and he would do things a lot differently. Howard said he had ideas for Richard Simmons as a guest and told the guys what he'd be talking to him about.
Howard said he met Rupert Murdoch and was offered a job where they were going to give him a 13 week shot at doing a show. Howard said there was no way he was going to give up his radio show so he didn't want to take the deal they offered him. Don said that led to them offering Howard some other local shows.
Howard said they gave him a shot at doing some test shots at doing some guerilla TV over at the local FOX studios. Howard said he had a lot of ideas and he went in and shot the pilots. He said they were very outrageous and ambitious.
That led into a clip from the FOX pilots. We heard Howard talking about how bad he looked for the show and how he clipped his nasal hairs for a few hours trying to look good. Howard introduced Robin and the crowd there cheered for her. Howard talked about how he wasn't worried about what happened because he'd just stay on radio.
After that we heard Gary talking about how they had a team of writers over there and another producer. He said Howard said he wanted Fred and Jackie in there so they got them on board. We heard from Jackie who talked about the way they got in on that gig and how they ended up writing the whole show because the TV writers had no idea how Howard worked.
Fred said that they shot an open for the FOX show where they had ''Talk show host in a box'' and it was Jackie and Fred dressed as moving men and they had to move Howard into this building and it was just bad Abbot and Costello. Fred said they drop the box and end up turning the talk show host into Howard from another talk show host who turned out to be Matt Lauer.
Jim Forbes said that Howard had his parents in the audience at the shows and they were allowed to stop the show at any time and interrupt. Ben said that Howard offered Ray a fur coat back then for doing that but she never did see one. Ray said that she did get to see some fur coats and tried some on so that was fun.
We heard a clip from one of the FOX pilots where Howard spoke to his mother in the audience. He warned her that he could shut her up at any minute.
We heard from Howard again talking about the way his mother used to freak out when he'd threaten to get an ear ring. Howard said she used to whine like a Billy goat saying ''Nooooo, not my ear!'' when he's threaten that. We heard Ray talking about the tattoo that Howard got on his finger for his wedding and how she's going to keep her mouth shut about that. Ben said Howard is rebelling and getting all of that stuff done that he held off on doing for years.
In another old clip we heard Dee Snider talking to Howard about the ear ring. They bring a guy out with a bunch of ear rings and his mother is trying to interrupt the show telling him that she doesn't want him getting any ear rings. Howard told his mom that he's 33 years old and he should be allowed to get an ear ring. The audience started cheering ''Ear ring! ear ring!'' over and over again. Howard said he felt bad about getting one with his mother being so against it. Howard and Dee talked to his parents for a couple of minutes about it but Ray wanted nothing to do with him getting one.
Jim Forbes talked about the many guests that appeared on those pilot shows including Joe Piscopo. They had some audio of Joe talking about Howard's shows and how he was willing to go on the shows and he'd be really honest during the interviews.
We heard a clip of Joe Piscopo on the pilot show he was on where he performed a song for them. Joe sang a Frank Sinatra song. After Joe performed Howard joked that they had just been canceled.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how most talk shows work and how they were way over the top with the stuff they would do. Howard said that on one show they turned it into a People's Court type of thing with his wife and Dee's wife arguing about something. Dee said that his wife had done something to Howard's wife's hair and she had to get it all cut off. They held court there on the show and the loser had to wear a French Maid's outfit for the rest of the show. Dee said his wife ended up losing and had to wear the outfit.
Howard said he learned a lot over there at those pilot shows. He said he learned how to do some stuff while they shot it. David Brenner said that the set was really loud and it was kind of bizarre when they were doing it. Jackie said that he was under Howard's desk handing him notes on his lap during the show. He said he put most of it on his lap and there was a hole there for him to pass stuff through. He said Howard ended up pulling his hand through the desk when Jackie Mason was on one of the shows.
We heard a clip from SIRIUS where Gary said that Joe Walsh came in to do one of the shows and ended up being really late and passed out on the floor in the studio while they shot the show. Howard said Joe was behind his desk that day and fell asleep there. Gary said that Joe had done an amazing version of ''Rocky Mountain Way'' during rehearsal. He said Joe ended up pulling out a trombone during the later performance and tried playing one for the first time.
Robin talked about how messed up Joe was that day and how Leslie West got upset about the way things were going. She said that Leslie kept running in trying to get someone to control the guy. Joe Walsh also said that some of them can handle their alcohol and some can't. He said that it was probably a nightmare for Howard back then but Leslie West can party with the best. He said that they were all getting wrecked back then and they really didn't care if they were wrecked in public or not. He said it was great for the show but he's not sure how Howard felt about it.
Dee Snider talked about Joe hitting on his wife back then. He said Joe apologized when he found out it was his wife. Dee said he doesn't know what happened to those FOX pilots.
They went into a K-Rock clip where Howard took a call from a guy who asked if the TV shows were going to be shown in Philly. Howard said he wasn't sure if they were ever going to air. Howard told the guy they were waiting to edit the shows and find out if FOX was going to pick it up. He said he didn't think they had anything to lose by not airing it.
We heard Robin talking about how they weren't able to get things to sound and look quite the way they wanted them to. The show ended up going nowhere. Fred said that it was fun being part of the show and giving that a try. Sometimes it was interesting and fun and they did have that shot at making it. Howard said that they weren't the best looking shows and they should have concentrated on making one good show.
Don Buchwald said that they didn't pick up the shows because of political reasons. He said that there were enough nay sayers there at FOX to stop it from being picked up. Leslie West and David Brenner talked about what they knew about the show not being picked up. Brenner said that he thinks that if Howard had been picked up, it would have been great. He said that it just wasn't done the right way.
Jackie the Joke Man said that they had to be kind of fun because it was the gang from the radio show just doing a TV show. Robin said it was disappointing when they found out that they weren't going to see the light of day. She said that she never even saw a full episode after they were shot. She said they worked really hard on those shows. Gary said that they really did put a lot of work into those shows and he later found out that Rupert Murdoch really hated Howard and he was never going to let them see the light of day.
Fred said that he thinks that there may have only been one episode out of the 5 pilots they shot that they could have aired. He said he wasn't sure how long they would have lasted there if they had gotten the go ahead to do it.
Howard talked about how he was experimenting back then and that's what FOX told him to do with those shows. He said he should have concentrated on doing one thing instead but he didn't want people to get bored with the shows. He said they were a good experiment for him though. Howard said the shows were all over the place and they really didn't have any staff there. He said they would have needed a bigger budget to make it right.
We heard another clip from K-Rock where Howard talked about his big ratings and the bad articles that came out about the TV show pilots. Howard was telling Robin that his family was asking about the pilots and how the newspaper articles were lame. Howard complained about the guy who wrote this article he was talking about and went off on him a little bit. The guy was George Maxian. Howard said the guy was saying that the pilots weren't picked up and making it seem like people would know about the shows even though they never aired.
Howard read the article and said that George is asking about what happened to those pilots. Howard said he has been saying that they'd never see the light of day. He said that there were many reasons for that too. He ended up going off on the people at FOX saying that none of their shows have more than a 2 share. He said that they could have made back their money if they had aired those pilots. He said that they picked up the Tracy Ullman show instead. Howard said that they're a bunch of douches over there.
Howard took some phone calls about the TV shows. One caller complained about the people clapping in the background. Howard said that gives him a spurt or a juice and he's the one usually clapping. The caller didn't believe it was actually Howard. Howard said it was him cheering for himself. Howard said it's kind of like when the morning zoo hits the drum. Then Howard said that the noise is actually Robin slapping her head trying to stay awake during the show.
Howard went on to explain what happened with the FOX shows and how there were some people there who believed in him and thought he was a good prospect for a TV show. Howard said that he signed a contract with them and all hell broke loose. The FCC decided to go after him that same day he signed the contract. Howard said he thinks that killed his TV deal. Howard said that Rupert Murdoch, the owner of FOX, caught wind of all of this stuff. He said Rupert doesn't know what's going on there and when he found out what was going on he didn't let them pick up the show. Howard said he could drag out this discussion for 3 hours if he had to.
Howard said that the FCC ended up winning the battle because he has been denied. He said the TV shows were very clean and there was nothing obscene or dirty... just like his radio show isn't obscene or dirty. Howard said that he would be off the air already if it was. He said that he thinks this may have had something to do with this Cardinal who knows Rupert Murdoch getting a hold of him and telling him not to air the shows. Howard said that they forget that Murdoch puts out a newspaper that has women's breasts exposed. He also pointed out that they trash celebrities in those papers.
Howard went on to say that he thinks Rupert Murdoch told his people that they are not going to do business with him no matter what. He said they could have recouped their money for those pilots if they had just thrown them on the air. Howard did that for a few minutes before they went to break.
After that clip we heard Robin talking about how they had a lot of trouble with the preachers and evangelists trying to get them off the air back then. When they would fall over something hypocritical like that, they loved it.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard played a song parody about Jim Baker that they had created with the band Pig Vomit and Fred on vocals. They did that one to the tune of ''Imagine.'' The song was about Jim Baker screwing around with Jessica Hahn of course. Fred said that it was called ''Imagine If I Were Jim Baker.''
Jim Forbes came back on and said that they didn't know that Jessica Hahn would come on the show eventually and start a very strange and unusual relationship that continues to this day. We heard from Howard about that for a second and then Jessica talking about what was going on back then. She said that she used to watch the TV crews on her front lawn on TV. Robin said that Jessica had reporters camping out on her lawn and she wasn't even able to open her door. Jessica said that she would have people planting microphones on flowers that were delivered to her house and stuff like that.
Gary said he got Jessica's number from someone and they tried calling her one day. Jessica said she thought it was a family member calling that day because they did have her private number.
After that they played a clip from K-Rock where Howard made that call to Jessica. Howard made the call and got Jessica's voice mail. Howard started to leave a message but Jessica ended up picking up the phone in the middle of the message. Howard told Jessica that he felt bad about what happened to her. Jessica told Howard that she listens to the show and she's a fan. She wasn't sure that it was actually him though. Comedian Emo Phillips was sitting in that day too.
In the clip Howard told Jessica that the PTL should still be paying her for what they did to her. He asked Jessica if she lives in a trailer thing out there. Jessica said that it was a two family house and she was just there temporarily. Jessica talked about how strange things were for her. Howard told her not to pose for Penthouse so she said she wouldn't do that. Howard offered her a trip somewhere if she wanted it. Jessica didn't want to take anything.
Howard told Jessica that she should write a book or do a movie or something. Howard said he would be in the movie if she wanted. He said he looks kind of like her with sunglasses on and he could probably play her in the movie.
Howard tried to set Jessica up to do a Dial-A-Date on his show. Jessica thought it would be best not to get involved with another man at that point. Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Jessica about what was going on with her and suggesting that she write a book again. Robin told Howard to lock up the rights to the book. Howard said he could do that and then take it to Dick Clark and peddle it with him.
After that clip we heard Jessica talking about how K-Rock wanted to send her to Aruba for a vacation. She said that she was calling into the show almost every day back then and the media were getting their information from listening to it. Howard had the exclusives. Gary and Robin talked about how cool it was that Jessica was talking to them and no one else at the time.
Howard talked about the way things happened back then and how he was able to make news for getting Jessica on the show. He said it was a big deal back then for them to have her on the air. Howard said he liked her very much when he got to know her and he was surprised by that. Jessica said that people would throw rocks at her window when she'd call into Howard. The press wanted her to talk to them but she was only talking to Howard. Jessica said that Howard was a decent guy and never asked for anything from her.
Howard said that Jessica spoke out and hung out with them and it was a whole saga that played out on the air. He said that Jessica was always good radio.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about how they had sent this guy Dave out to cover the Jessica Hahn press conference. Howard said he was on the phone to the lawyer that Jessica got to handle her case. He said the guy is a divorce lawyer but he seems like a decent human being. Howard said the guy was setting up some stuff for her and it sounds good. Howard said they have some kind of plan mapped out for her. That means that he can't talk to Jessica without this lawyer though.
Jim Forbes came on and said that the lawyer Howard was talking about turned out to be Dominic Barbara, another person who became a good friend of the show. We heard from Dominic about how that was his first national case and how that turned out to be a very positive experience. Jessica said that Howard and Dominic hit it off after that so that worked out well too. She said that she had no problems with Dominic either so that worked out for her too.
Dominic talked about the deals he worked out for Jessica back then and how he used to call his mother and tell her that he was making deals with Hugh Hefner for Jessica.
Richard Belzer talked about Gilbert on radio programs and how he really doesn't care what he says. He said that Howard knows how to handle him the right way though.
Howard talked about what a kick he gets out of Gilbert when he's on the show. Dee Snider also said that he loves Gilbert on the show and he never got to be on a show with him. He said that he'd love to just riff with that crazy motherfucker. Dee was saying that Howard thinks that Gilbert is really funny and you can tell when he's laughing at Gilbert when he is on. He does have to keep his visits to a minimum because some people can only take him in small doses.
Gilbert said that he has lost a lot of jobs because of the Stern Show. He said that a lot of people get work because of the show but he loses work. Gilbert said that his agent will call him and say that someone heard him on Howard and they will cancel the work they had offered him.
That led into a K-Rock clip where Howard had Gilbert come in for the first time. Gilbert came in and talked about some stuff he was involved with. He also pointed out that Robin was almost in another building and not in the same studio with Howard. Howard said that's because he passes wind and doesn't want Robin smelling that.
Howard was talking cars with Gilbert when they ended up on the Munster's car. Fred knew that it was a custom car made by George Barris so Gilbert started goofing on him saying that they'd like to know everything he knows about the Addams Family as well. Howard warned him not to goof on Fred because Fred would rip his head off.
Howard said that they got Gilbert breakfast and he had demanded it before he came in. Gilbert said that he eats early in the morning so he asked for something to eat. Gilbert said it looked really good to him. Howard said he could feel his arteries hardening as they spoke.
Howard asked Gilbert if he listens to them. Gilbert said he does, constantly. He was probably joking about that.
Howard told Gilbert about how he has to watch stuff with his kids and how he had to watch the Pee Wee Herman movie the night before. Howard said he doesn't want to watch it 900 times though. He said he'd rather watch the news so he can get ideas for the show. Howard said they claim they have the best night life there in New York City but he's not sure what he would do. Howard said that Gilbert spends a lot of time in his bedroom at his mother's house. Howard said he gets that and understands it. He said that you can get some great ideas from watching TV.
Robin told Gilbert he should go out sometimes. Gilbert wasn't sure what he would do if he went out. Robin said he could drink. Gilbert said he can drink at home. Robin said he could go to an amusement park, street fairs and stuff like that too. Howard asked Gilbert when he's going to have kids and a wife. Gilbert said he would do that as soon as the guy got away from behind his chair.
Howard talked to Gilbert about working with Jackie. Gilbert claims he hardly knows Jackie even though Jackie says he's good friends with him. Howard took some phone calls and Gilbert ended up goofing on the first caller who didn't seem to know quite what was going on. Howard took some more calls and put people on hold too goof on them. Howard got back to one caller who asked Howard if he preferred Howard or ''Mr. Stern.'' Howard said he'll take anything other than ''Howchie'' which is what his family calls him.
The caller said that Howard seemed intimidated with Gilbert there. Howard told the guy to eat him. He said he might be intimidated but he doesn't have to point it out. Howard said he was trying to interview the guy and wasn't trying to one up the guy. Howard said this caller was a dick. He said this is the same guy who saw him out on the street and called him a schmuck. He went off on the guy about that. The caller was upset that they weren't letting him talk. Howard said that's because he's a jerk.
Howard said he wanted to let his guest talk but this guy won't let him do that. The caller wouldn't stop talking so Howard had to yell at him to stop. Howard said that guys like this caller make it hard for him to do the show and interview guests. The guy kept talking over Howard so he was going to put him on hold. Gilbert kept goofing on the guy talking over him as he was trying to say what he wanted to say. Gilbert had Howard laughing during that stuff. Howard put the guy on hold so he could get back to him later.
After an edited out segment we heard Howard talking to the same caller and asking him why he was talking over them. The caller said that Howard does the same thing and doesn't let anyone talk. Howard said he must not hear him when he speaks. The guy said he forgot what he was going to talk about. Gilbert ended up talking over the guy again when he was trying to get his comments out. Howard asked Gilbert to let the guy speak but then Howard started talking over the guy himself. Howard ended up hanging up on the guy when he was about to say what he wanted to say.
Later on in that show Howard was saying goodbye to Gilbert. Gilbert was telling Howard he had to get out of there so he could go rest his voice. Howard goofed on Gilbert about that for a short time. Howard thanked Gilbert for dropping by and had Gary come in and take him out to cut some IDs. Howard said it would have been fun to do news with Gilbert but he was in a rush to get out of there so he could rest his voice. Howard said he's never heard that excuse from anyone before. Howard thought Gilbert was great on the show.
After that we heard from Gilbert who said that first appearance was great. He said he used to just walk over and do the show back in those days when he wanted to sit in. He said he'd just walk in and did that a lot. He said that Jackie was kind of strange back then because he had condoms on his fingers and that was very odd. They had to break after that.
That led into a clip from K-Rock where Howard and the guys were doing their show out at the Emmys and talking about how they get too feisty when they go out like that. Howard sent Gary up to try and get an interview with Grant Tinker. Gary said that Tinker blew him off and said he didn't have time to do an interview.
We heard from Robin again talking about the way Howard used to shout on his megaphone to get people's attention since no one was coming over to do their show. She said that he would interrupt other shows and they would get roughed up by people who were trying to get their work done. Gary said those people just hated them.
Gary said there was one guy with an eye patch who turned to them and told them to take their experiment somewhere else. Howard said that it was embarrassing to go to the events and be the object of everyone's scorn. Howard said he eventually decided to stop being that asshole.
In another K-Rock clip Howard was talking about how they were hated by everyone and they were the pimple on the corporate ass. Howard said they have ruined their careers out there.
They had another clip of Gary talking about those days and how Letterman ended up coming in and recognized Howard. The people saw they were buddies and everyone left them alone after that. Gary said he thinks Dave's line was ''Most people rent tuxedos, Howard rents hair.''
They went into another K-Rock Emmy show where Howard was talking about how David Letterman was coming in and he wanted to ask him some questions. Howard said that at least Letterman knows him since he's on his show every other week.
Howard listened in as David Letterman was being introduced at the show. Howard asked Dave why he hadn't called him and the room erupted. David made a joke about Howard's hair and then told him that he'd have him on in a couple of weeks. Howard and Dave screwed around for a few seconds before Dave got back to doing what he was supposed to do up on stage. Howard said that they should try and bring Letterman over after he did his press conference thing up there.
Howard waited for Dave to do his thing but Dave made another reference to him being in the room so Howard seemed excited about that. Howard said it was a lot of pressure being there at the Emmys. Robin said he was handling it just fine and got that first question in with Dave. Howard listened in to Dave doing his thing and then asked him to come over to talk to them. Dave did come over and spent a few minutes talking to them about his Emmy win.
Howard apologized to Dave about using their private phone conversations on the air. Dave said that Howard is very entertaining and inventive but he's also a bone head. He said that he has to lose that part of the show. Dave said that he does listen to the show a few times a week and enjoys it on his drive into work.
Howard told Dave that he did something stupid. Dave asked how they got credentials to get in there. Howard said that they've almost been kicked out a few times already. Howard said that he agreed to be on that late show on FOX and he was afraid he was going to upset him about that. Howard said he had to be a guest on that show but he's just going to go on and yell about FOX. Dave said that Robin is still welcome on the show. Dave told Howard he was being a bone head again. Dave was ushered out of there a short time later. Howard talked about how he had to kiss that man's ass a lot.
They played some audio from K-Rock where Howard talked about that appearance on Arsenio Hall's show. Howard told Robin that he's not sure what happened out there. Robin said that Howard was on that Late Show with Arsenio Hall. Howard said that the guy is the biggest jerk. Howard told her about what went on at the show and said that you don't go on a TV interview show with someone who is trying to be funny. He said that he had so much to talk about there.
Here's some of what I wrote up from the Master Tape Theater play of this 1987 show from back in March of 2008:
Howard also said that the audience wasn't full either. He said there was a whole section that was empty because who is going to go see Arsenio Hall? He said that his opening jokes weren't funny but the audience was still wooing and hooting at him. He said it reminded him of going to a black theater to see a movie.
Howard said he felt like he was set up for that show. He said it felt like being on a ship and going down with it as it sunk. He didn't plan on being that outrageous. He just wanted to be interviewed. He said he tried to walk off at one point but they took him and threw him back into his seat.
Howard talked about how Arsenio seems to be trying to be just like his pal Eddie Murphy and it's just not working. He said that Arsenio kept saying that he was making more money than he was and it was like he was obsessed with that. Howard said that he's a radio guy so of course he's not going to be making that kind of money.
Howard said that Arsenio was doing that black accent that was so lame and he wanted to tell him he was offending him with that. Robin said that it's as bad as her black accent. Howard said he was sitting there thinking that the show was so lame that he wanted to get out of there. Meanwhile the audience was yelling stuff out at him. Gary said that he was getting heckled through the whole show.
Howard said that you never see white people heckling black people like that on a show. He said that he did mention Oprah at one point and got some applause. He said that she's doing a new thing on her show where she sits around eating her lunch with some friends. Robin said that's what Ronna Barrett used to do on her show.
During that segment the Tapes crew sprinkled in some clips from the Arsenio appearance. After the clip we heard Howard talking about how he shakes after doing a show like that Arsenio show. He said that ultimately it's funny but it wasn't a great place to be that day when they physically dragged him out of there. Howard said he felt like a little kid in trouble when that happened. He said he didn't know what the consequences were going to be. Gary sleeping on the plane next to him after that was the worst.
After that we heard a more current K-Rock clip with Howard telling the guys about that Arsenio Hall show appearance. Howard talked about Gary falling asleep on the flight home and how he bumped him up to first class so he could have someone to talk to. He said that Gary slept the whole flight and the one time he did wake up, he woke up smacking his lips and said ''My mouth is dry... I need orange juice.'' Howard said he turned right over and fell back asleep after that. Gary said that the one part he got wrong was how loud his lip smacking was. Gary said that his girlfriend at the time loved hearing that lip smacking because she knew what that was like.
In the clip Artie was laughing as Howard was telling these stories. Howard said that he tried to wake Gary up during the flight but nothing worked. He said Gary just woke up that one time to smack his lips and ask for orange juice.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard had Jessica on the show for the first time. Howard got up and gave her a hug when she came in. He also got her some flowers. Jessica told Howard that he's so great. She had a bunch of people from Playboy with her since she had done a layout for them. Howard asked her how he was looking. Jessica said he looked great.
Howard told Jessica that she didn't have to know these other two guys in the studio, Jackie and Fred, because they're just riff raff. Jessica said that she's so glad she got to come in and see him on the show. She said she came all the way back to New York just for him.
Howard and Jessica spent a few minutes talking about their old talks on the show and how much Howard helped Jessica out.
We heard a more current clip of Jessica talking about the crush she had on Howard and how excited she was to go on the show finally. She said it was like meeting her hero. Dominic Barbara said that she has always had a crush on Howard. Jessica talked about how great Howard always was to her back then.
Howard talked about how he thinks that Jessica was interested in him romantically but he always played it straight and didn't do anything with her. He said that she would offer to rub him down and stuff but he would never let her go too far. She'd even offer to give him a rub and tug but he'd have to turn it down.
Jessica said that they never crossed that line and they probably had so much fun because they knew that they never would cross it.
We heard more of the K-Rock interview with Jessica where she and Howard talked about their attraction for one another. Howard joked that his wife had died and there was no reason that they couldn't date now. Howard said that they had kismet and chemistry.
Jessica was telling Howard that he looked great that morning. Howard said that they could really hit it off and they'd be everyone's media darlings. Howard said that they could walk around town going to movie premiers and stuff. Robin told Howard that he would just be an escort if he did take her out. Jessica said that Howard was like her best friend. Howard said they might have a romance going there.
Dominic Barbara came in after that so Howard spent a few minutes talking to him. Dominic said that he had become a celebrity and it was because of Howard. Howard wanted to kick everyone out of the room so he could be alone with Jessica. Howard told her that it had been great with her. Jessica said that the listeners have been great too. Howard said they're morons. They played Jessica out after that. They took a break after playing that segment.
Howard said he doesn't think that his parents taught him very well with the wiping stuff. Howard said his mother told him to wear her underwear instead that day. Howard said she would never say anything about cleaning the stuff out of his underwear, she'd just clean it and hang it in his bathroom. He said that was pretty embarrassing so he would just take the dirty ones and bury them in the back yard.
Howard's mother, Ray, called in and said that he should have the courtesy of calling her first before telling these stories that he's fabricating. She said that he's making all of this up. Howard said that he remembers it that way and that she gave him her underwear to wear. Ray said that just wasn't true. Howard said it was true and it was traumatic to him. She said that she never would have given him her underwear.
Howard said he'd swear on a stack of bibles that she did have him wearing her panties. Howard said he wasn't making this story up and he told it to Robin back in Washington DC. Robin didn't remember that. Howard said he drew the line at wearing her sanitary belt.
Howard told his mommy that he remembers wearing them and thinking about how bad it would be if anyone saw him wearing them. Ray said that she'd let him wear her panties now. Howard said that back then he was afraid that the other kids would see him and he really didn't want to wear them. He said he went into her room and she had him try on her panties. Howard said that she took his temperature rectally until he was like 18. Ray said that she did that for accuracy and it wasn't until he was 18. Howard said it had to be 15 at least.
Howard said that he thanks God every day that he didn't turn out to be a homosexual after going through all of that stuff. Ray got Ben on the phone to talk to him about this stuff. Ben said that he kind of remembers that incident and confirmed Howard's story. Howard said that he thinks that the story was true. Ben said that it did ring a bell but it was a very innocent thing. Ben said that the fact that he didn't take them off for 3 years is another thing. Robin Leach said it was great that they've learned what makes Howard Stern tick. Howard let his parents go after that.
They played a clip from that day when Howard was taking calls for Rob Lowe's Dial-A-Date. Here's a little bit of what I had from a replay of this segment from back in July of this year:
Howard had Rob Lowe in the studio and took a bunch of calls from women who wanted to go out on a date with him. They asked each of the women some questions about what they would do for Rob on the date. They found some very willing women who were up for just about anything with Rob.
The women told some stories that were pretty graphic. They were a little too much for the air so Howard had to dump out of a few of the conversations they were having.
Howard's mother called in at one point and asked the women of America what was going on with them. She said she couldn't understand why the women were acting this way. She said that they have to uphold their dignity. Howard spent a short time arguing with her about that. He was trying to explain to her that times have changed since she was younger. She didn't seem to get that. Howard told his mom that he respects her and they will stop with the sex talk.
Howard let his mom go and got the girls back on the phone. Some of them felt kind of bad after they heard his mother going off on them. Howard had Rob pick a woman to go out with. Rob ended up picking the third woman they got on the phone. He said he liked all of them but went with her only because they made him choose.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how they were trying to set up the date with Rob and this girl he picked. Gary said that he wanted the date to happen but Rob's people weren't making it happen. The girl threatened to go to the papers if they didn't make it happen so they did work it out about 2 weeks later.
They played a K-Rock clip of Howard talking to Scott about the new business. Howard said that Scott was telling him that he wasn't getting much personal appearance business so he told him about this business idea he had. Howard told Robin about Scott trying to get into the DJ business. Howard said he had the crappiest deal in the world and he wasn't making any money doing it. Howard told Scott that he should open up his own business and do it.
Scott informed Howard that he didn't have the money to start his own business. Howard suggested he get a loan to pay for it. Scott said he was thinking about it. Howard offered to loan him the money if he would pay him back with some money he makes at his gigs. Scott said he would do that. Howard told him he wasn't going to do that for him. Robin said if they went in on it together they could loan him the money. Scott was up for it.
Howard asked Scott what he would do, would he go to people's houses? Scott said he would play weddings and parties. Howard asked him if he can handle it. Scott said he can do it and he has spun at clubs before. He said he knew how to do it.
Howard told Scott that people probably want a young guy to do the DJ thing, not some bald nudnik. Howard asked Scott what kind of deal he had worked out with this other company. Scott said that they had some stipulations like not letting him work in the area for a year if he left them. Howard said that wasn't a good deal for $50 per show.
Howard joked about the songs that Scott would play and joked that he would play ''Dance or Kill Yourself'' and things like that. Howard said that Scott is a downer most of the time so he's not sure how he'd do as a DJ. Howard told Scott that he'd be moping around if he didn't help him out. Scott said he thinks that this would be great and thousands of people would love to be in his position. Howard said if Scott was a DJ at a party he went to, he'd probably bunny hop right out and to another party.
Howard asked Scott if he will pay them back the way they set up if they do loan him the money. Scott said he will and he'll be honest about it. Scott said he's too stupid to be crooked. Gary wanted in on the deal and said that Scott could get between $300 and $450 to do a wedding.
Howard and the guys worked up a deal with Scott to give him the money if he paid them back with money from every appearance he makes. Howard wanted to make him a partner but Scott didn't want to do that for the rest of his life. Jimmy Fink called in and asked to be part of the deal so Howard just hung up on him. Howard said they have to set this up with a lawyer. Robin said they have to set it up like a corporation. Then they said that they wouldn't do it that official. Howard said he would loan him the money but Robin corrected him and said that they're in business together. Howard said that Scott was going to have to pay them a couple hundred bucks to pay them back for every gig he does.
After that clip we heard Scott talking about how he got $500 from each person and got a total of $3,000 and started his own business. Scott said he hasn't touched any of that stuff in 5 years and he's glad he's done with it.
Sandra Bernhard talked about how Sam wasn't her cup of tea. Penn Jillette talked about doing the Stern Show sober while Sam would come in wasted and he'd be so much faster than him. Penn said that he heard from a doctor that some people operate better on drugs than they do sober.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard had Sam in the studio talking about doing a lot of drugs and hanging out. He said that he does coke and he could go non-stop with his heart racing. Sam said that he might even have some on him as he spoke. He said he likes to carry illegal drugs and break the law.
Sam talked about his drug use and then said that he was just joking about that trying to sound cool to the kids out there.
Howard said that Sam was there and they waited a long time for him to show up. Sam said that the last time he called in he was in a hotel room with twins. They talked about Richard Belzer losing one of his testicles. Sam said that he almost said ''ball'' while they were talking about that. Howard told him to watch it with that.
Sam ended up going off on Bob Goldthwait when his name came up. Sam said that the guy is a rip off and he hates him. He said he does go to see his movies just so he can say ''Look what you've done to your career!'' and laugh at him. Sam said that they do it for the money but they ruin their careers on that stuff. Sam said you can't do it just for the money. He said you get stuck with that stuff when you do awful movies like ''Police Academy.''
They went to break after that segment.
Jackie the Joke Man talked about liking Mitch and how he thinks that Mitch liked him because he had so many problems with Fred. Jackie said Fred was smoking and didn't want Howard to give him a hard time about that. He asked Mitch to go out and get him cigarettes one day and asked him to keep them hidden from Howard. He said that Fred ended up going off on Mitch one day for leaving them out. Jackie thought it was pretty funny.
We heard Howard talking about this intern Dead Dave who used to work on the show. Howard said he had a friend in college that they called Dead Dave too and he just sounded like he was dead. Howard said the intern sounded the same and they used to send him out to do interviews and stuff. Jackie said he remembered Dead Dave and they called him that because he had no personality. Jackie said he liked the guy but he really had no personality.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard talked about Dead Dave going out and getting an interview with Dr. Ruth. He played the clip of Dave doing the interview with Dr. Ruth. Dave asked her a question. She didn't want to do a whole long list so Dave figured he had one shot at asking a question. Dr. Ruth told Dave she didn't want to hear his nonsense when he started to ask about anal sex. Howard said that was the real Dr. Ruth coming out in that clip. Howard said that was the funniest thing that he'd ever heard. He was cracking up just thinking about it and said he hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.
Howard sounded surprised that she had turned down a question about anal sex. Howard let Dead Dave go a short time later but he was talking about how Dave will come in and stare at him while he's there. Howard said Dave will be at Gary's desk and he just sits there staring at him. Howard said they really don't have a lot for these people to do so Dave just sits around.
After that we heard Gary talking about how he hated being the jerk going out and asking questions. He said that they had to have other people to do the interviews. Mitch Fatel was one of the people they'd send out. Mitch talked about how he didn't fight it because Howard was his hero and he wanted to do what he could for the show. He just wanted to work for Howard even if it was for free.
Gary said that he used to hate doing those interviews because he used to get the shrapnel of anger that came from these people. Gary said he and Mitch went out to a show to do press one time and they were asking dumb questions and upsetting the people from HBO who let them go out to this event. Gary said that they really upset people when Mitch asked Norman Lear ''Any thoughts on Edgar Rosenberg's death?''
They played a K-Rock clip of Howard playing the audio from that interview. Howard said that they would have been better off just going up and giving the guy a hot foot.
After the clip we heard Mitch talking about how he didn't know what he was doing back then and didn't even know what he had done wrong. Mitch said that he doesn't think that Norman Lear was a fan of his after that. Gary said that Norman wasn't able to get past that question even when other people were asking him questions. Gary said he thinks Lear left the stage all woozy. Gary said that the HBO people asked them to pack up their tape recorder and to stand on the side and not ask anymore questions.
Jim Forbes said that Howard had other ways of catching celebrities off guard. That went into a K-Rock clip where Howard had Sting's hotel phone number and called him early one morning.
In the clip Howard tried to call the hotel but wasn't having any luck making the all. Mitch came in and told Howard that Sting was on the phone and he had just spoken to him. Howard picked up the phone and it turned out it really was Sting. Howard didn't believe it but Mitch believed it was him. He said he just had a feeling it really was him.
Sting told Howard that he lives there in New York so he wouldn't be staying in a hotel. Howard asked the guy some questions to confirm that he was actually Sting. Fred asked him some questions and Howard was finally convinced it was him. Sting said that he listens to the show most mornings so he's a fan of the show. Howard told Sting that he's a big fan and told him he's a genius.
Howard told Sting it was a great idea to dump the rest of the Police because he's better off without them. Howard asked why he never does the show. Sting said that he's tried to do that but he's got people around him telling him that he can't speak to him.
Sting but his girlfriend on the phone and she ended up saying something about a big dick. Sting told Howard she didn't realize she was on the radio. Howard asked Sting if he gets lonely for white people while out touring with all of the black people. Sting joked around about that a little bit.
Howard asked Sting if the words or the music come to him first. Sting said that was kind of a douche bag question. Howard said that he could ask him what kind of nipple clamps he uses on his girlfriend. Sting said that would be better.
Howard told Sting that he'd like to be friends with him. He said that he'd like to take him to a movie premiere or something. Sting was going to one that night and Howard going to one that afternoon. Robin told Sting she was going to the same one he was that night so she'd see him there.
Sting said he had to get going so he could work out at the gym. Howard told him to come to the movie screening but Sting was set on going to the gym. Howard said it was cool of him to call in and let him go.
Howard told Robin that she should jump on Sting and hump him when she sees him at the movie screening. He told her to let him touch her on her belly and everything. Howard sang ''Every Breast You Take'' when he was telling Robin to let Sting feel her up.
Gary said that Ted the Janitor and Janie the Cleaning Lady were great on the show. Gary said that Ted was naturally funny. He said they used to have to have Ted let them in the building back then because the place was locked up. Scott the Engineer said he had to ring a bell to get into the building back then because Ted was nowhere to be found.
Jackie said he loved Ted and he was one of the people that they would laugh with no matter what. He said that Pat Cooper was another one that they would laugh at every time he came in.
Robin talked about some of the fun stuff that Ted would talk about on the air like how he'd like to play ''road'' with her. She said that Ted said ''that's where you lay a woman down and black top her.'' Robin said he was very cute and it was very flattering when he would do stuff like that. She said he was never pushy and just had fun with her.
They went into a K-Rock clip where Howard talked to Robin about having sex with a listener on mic behind a curtain if they ever get an 8 rating. Robin said it would have to be something more like a 10 rating. Howard said that she has to do it if they do get an 8 share or above.
After a fast forward we heard Howard talking to Ted the Janitor about the leisure suit he was wearing. Ted heard about this contest they were holding and wanted to enter the chance to have sex with Robin. Howard said Ted would have a heart attack if he had sex with Robin. Howard said that old guys think they're still studs and that's what Ted is like. Howard said that he sees these old guys hitting on younger women and he really should take a look at himself.
Howard spent a few minutes with Ted and said that he thinks Robin wouldn't be begging for mercy, Ted would. Howard said Ted came in all dressed up in a suit but he could see his janitor suit underneath it. Howard said he may have just shot up to an 8 share with Ted in the studio.
Howard asked Robin about Ted coming on to her all the time. Robin said that he did used to do that when she'd come in. After a fast forward we heard Howard talking to Ted about sex with Robin and Ted referred to a prophylactic as a ''popalitic.'' They had some fun goofing around with Ted about that. Howard asked him what's up with that. He said that Ted was scaring him. Ted was making some weird noises and stuff while they were talking to him about that.
They played a K-Rock clip where Robin read a news story that included something about a male nurse killing some people. That got Howard talking about how he would run out of a hospital if he had a male nurse. Howard said there's something wrong with a guy having a woman's job and of course they're going to go crazy. Robin said that these people always have people talking about them in the same way too. They always say they're nice people but they were quiet and didn't have many friends.
Howard said he used to think that Fred could do something like that. Fred pointed out some of the stuff Howard does like sit home in his basement and watch TV all day long. Howard said he's much more normal than the rest of them. Robin and Fred laughed at those comments. Howard asked Gary who he thinks has a more normal life there. Fred went off on Gary before he could even answer. Fred said that Gary was a guy who would sleep with anything that moves.
Gary said that Fred has become more normal over the years. Howard said that he has but they used to talk about how afraid they were to hang out at Fred's apartment. Howard talked about Fred carrying around a shovel in the trunk of his car and how strange that was. Howard said it's kind of weird for a guy to do that. Howard said that there were no limbs in the car but he was carrying around a shovel and a ratty old blanket in the car. Fred said they all have their idiosyncrasies.
Howard continued to talk about how odd Fred is to him and how they could assume that he's a strnage guy when he won't go out with anyone and he carries aroudn a shovel. Howard said that he's not that normal to him. Fred siad that he can think what he wants about him. He thinks that he's just giving his own definition of what he thinks is normal. Howard talked about Robin not being so normal too.
After that we heard from Artie talking about how he loves when they break balls on the show, except when he's the one getting his balls broken. Artie said he could listen to the show for hours when they would bust balls like that. Artie said Howard has opened it up to a bunch of people now and they can bust Howard's balls. He said he always liked the show when they were just talking.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard picked on Jackie about going out to do Star Search. Howard told him he thinks that's a really bad idea. He said that Jackie doesn't need that kind of show because it's not going to prove anything. Howard said he bets Jackie is going to lose. He said Jackie is very funny but funny people don't always win Star Search.
We heard Jackie talking about how Howard told him that he thought that he was never going to come back after going out there to do Star Search. He thought he was going to move out there and stay.
In another K-Rock clip we heard the day Jackie returned to the show after his Star Search appearance. Howard asked Jackie about what went on and how he lost. Howard said he knew that he was going to lose and told Jackie not to go. He said he comes off bad when he loses to some two bit amateur. Jackie didn't seem to think it was that bad.
Howard told Jackie that he's got this show to do and he doesn't need to go out and do a Star Search kind of show. He said that's the kind of show that people use when they can't get club dates. Jackie said he was up against this guy Steve O who he had actually put up at Governor's out on Long Island 5 years before. Jackie said that the audience was laughing at his jokes but not at Steve's stuff. He said he felt bad for Steve and thought he was going to lose. He said he got 3s across the board and Steve got one 4 rating from one person. He lost by half a point to the guy.
Jackie said his wife told him that he looked like he had just been hit across the face with a shovel when he heard the results. Howard said he knows Jackie and he probably thought he was going to go out there and win. Howard told Jackie that you have to be a real loser to go on that show. He was ready to throw Jackie off his show when he went out there. Howard said he's going to get the tape of his appearance on that show and play it over and over again.
After that we heard Scott the Engineer talking about Jackie's loss and how he thought he should have won. Scott said he never heard the end of that and he's probably still getting ribbed about losing on Star Search.
Jackie talked about how he had a girl there at the show tell him that he was going to win and she had never been wrong with her predictions. Jackie said that was the one time that she was wrong and it just had to be the appearance that he made.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard talked to Jackie about the Star Search loss. He had watched it over the weekend. Howard said that Jackie should have done a different set than he did. Howard said he could have done different material and he could have won. Howard said he thought Jackie should have won but he was shaking his head ''no'' as he was saying yes. Howard said Jackie should have done a Sternac or something. He felt like he was watching a suspended animation thing.
Howard said they also put a laugh track on the show. Jackie said that they didn't add laughs to his part. They did with the other guy according to Jackie.
Howard played a clip from Star Search where they introduced Jackie and said that he could be heard on ''the radio show'' around the country. Jackie did a bunch of jokes that were kind of old. Howard said he had to have better stuff than that. Howard would cut it off and goof on Jackie about the jokes he was telling. Howard asked if he should continue it or stop. Robin said that he could stop because Jackie was using old material.
Howard played more of Jackie's jokes and continued to make fun of Jackie about the whole thing. He said that Jackie lost on Star Search and that's the lowest thing that he could have done.
After that we heard Jim Forbes saying that Fred and Jackie created game show parodies after that. Fred also talked about the way they did game shows and had people laughing at themselves the way they laugh at themselves on the show.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard was playing ''Black Jeopardy'' with some contestants they had in the studio. He had 3 black guys in there that he was calling Bwanabe Jones and Malcolm F. They played a Jeopardy like game and were playing for some prizes.
They ended today's History of Howard Stern: Act II around 11:15am.
After the clip we heard Gary talking about how he was supposed to be in his friend's wedding party. Then Howard made this announcement and didn't warn them ahead of time. That's when Gary realized that was the day of his friend's wedding. He told Howard that but they had no one else to hand it off to. Gary said Howard told him to do what he had to do but then the next day he brought it up on the air and told him that he had to be there. Gary said he didn't go to that wedding and that guy is divorced now anyway.
They played a clip from David Letterman's show where Howard went on to promote the Pay-Per-View show. Dave and Howard talked about the special and what he was going to be doing on it. Howard came out and talked about what a cool gig Paul Shaffer had there at Letterman. He then went on to talk about what they were going to have on the special. Howard had changed the name of the special to ''Howard Stern's Negligee and Underpants Party'' by that time. Howard told Dave that they were going to be doing that on February 27th, 1988.
After that clip we heard Robin talking about how they all had to be in underwear or something. She was struggling with her weight back then so she wasn't too happy about that. We heard Fred talking about how people probably wondered what the hell they were doing. He said it was a cheesy reason to have a show but now half of MTV's schedule is full of stuff that they were doing on that show.
Fred said that they had a stutterer hosting the show so that was something new. Jackie talked about Quentin the Stutterer and how he really had trouble even saying his name. He said that they got the bright idea to let him introduce the special. The night of the broadcast they snatched the script out of his hand and gave him a new one that kept him stuttering trying to say his own name. He really had some trouble with that so it lasted a long time.
After that they played a clip of that introduction that Quentin did for the Pay-Per-View. Quentin eventually passed it off to Howard. Howard then told everyone to get into their underpants and negligee. He had everyone disrobing and said that was just the way he had planned it.
After that clip we heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver. Ronnie said it was quite a scene there that day. He said that it was very disorganized and nothing like what they have going on today. Ronnie said that Howard would always get the audience involved in that stuff and that's probably why he's so respected by the people who listen to him.
Jim Forbes said that they were getting to know some of the people who would be known as the Wack Pack. Gary talked about Siobhan the transsexual being on that special.
They played a clip from the PPV special where Howard talked about how he didn't want Siobhan in the front row there. Howard told her that he didn't want to stare at a guy with breasts the size of a tomato. He asked Gary to get rid of him. Howard said he didn't look like a woman and it was making him sick. Howard said it was ruining his whole night. Howard goofed on him for a few minutes making fun of his voice, the way he looked and the fact that he was even there.
Next up was a current Gary talking about how he never did a pre-interview with Vinnie so he didn't know that he didn't know what he was doing. He said that a person would have to be nuts to try that trick for the first time on a show like that.
They went into the PPV special again and played a clip where Howard was talking to Vinnie about lighting his private parts on fire. Howard spoke to Vinnie for a short time and found out that his girlfriend had given him the crabs so that's why he learned to light his crotch on fire.
Howard described the scene there as Vinnie cracked open the egg, lit himself on fire and tried to cook the egg on his flaming crotch. Howard had Vinnie light it up and he started screaming and running around just seconds later. Howard told him he was out of control.
Gary came on and said that they were lucky that night that it didn't turn out worse. Jim Forbes said that Penn and Teller came on that night but they had missed that fun. Penn said a few words about that and said they just did their thing and split. Richard Belzer said he remembered being at the special and how it was like circus radio or something. He said it was ''wonderfully sleazy.''
They played a clip of Belzer's appearance on that PPV special. Belzer was joking around about how he was setting his career on fire by coming on that show. Belzer didn't seem to thrilled to be on the show and Howard could sense that.
Jim Forbes said that Belzer had come on with Judy Tenuta and Emo Phillips so they could do another Star Search with Jackie the Joke Man and Steve O (Not the same Steve-O of Jackass fame).
That led into another clip from the PPV event where Jackie and Steve went up against each other again. Steve did his comedy routine and got a few laughs. Jackie then got up and did his thing and the audience wasn't responding much at first. Jackie did get some laughs but they weren't laughing hysterically. Richard Belzer gave Steve a 4.3 while Jackie got a 4.9.
We heard from Jackie again and he was saying he thought it was a goof and had a great time doing that show. Former intern Mitch Fatel was also talking about being on that show and how he did a Homeless guy make over on the show. Mitch said they tried to get him a job and treated him like a king for a day.
They played a clip of Mitch interviewing the homeless guy that they picked up to do the make over. They found a 40 year old homeless guy who was 27 when he became homeless. Mitch told the guy they were going to make him over and take him all over the city in a limo. Mitch found out that the guy had been in jail for robbery. Mitch took the guy around in the car and asked him questions about current news stories and things like that.
We heard a current clip of Mitch talking about how Howard paid him a few bucks for the bit that he did for that show. He said he gave him a $1,000 check and he was blown away. He said he had never seen that much money in his life and he was willing to do that whole thing for free.
They played another clip from the PPV special where Howard took some phone calls. One guy said the special sucked and he wanted to see some real pussy. The guy told Robin to suck Howard's dick or something. Howard had to hang up on the guy saying that it was his worst nightmare.
They had some current clips of Howard talking about what a mess that special was back then. Howard said it was fun though and the fans did like the special because they bought the video tape. Howard said that he looks back on it now and doesn't think that it deserved an Emmy or anything.
Next up we heard a clip from the K-Rock show where Howard read some articles about the special. He had one where the guy talked about how dumb the special was and how the low light of the night was when Vinnie lit his crotch on fire.
In another K-Rock clip Howard and Robin were talking about the smell of marijuana coming out of the green room. Howard said there were people looking for coke in there. Howard said at one point even he was out looking for coke for those people. He said that at one point a guest came up and said he needed some drugs and he was all for it. Howard said he was going to try and dig something up because he figured it made for good TV to have them all drugged up. Howard said he hadn't done anything in a while so he didn't even know where to score.
Gary said Howard had come to him and asked him to find some drugs for certain people and he knew it was just wrong to do that so he didn't know what to do. Howard said he told Gary to find some coke for some of the guests because they needed it to do the show. Gary said that he took care of that whole thing and did get the drugs for the certain people that he asked him to get it for. Gary said he just pointed some people in the right direction.
Those drug discussions led to an investigation into the event to find out if Howard did supply drugs to anyone on the show. They had a woman reading an article about that from back in 1988. Howard came on and said that no one did drugs back stage at the show and he was just creating a wild story that day. Howard said nothing much ever came of that whole thing and he thinks it was just him trying to create a wild side. Jessica Hahn said that she never saw anything like that going on back stage and she was there the whole time.
They played another K-Rock show where Howard was talking about how he was busy injecting himself with heroin. Howard said he got it at the Pay-Per-View special. Howard said he had to defend himself for 4 hours that day. He said that they're investigating him for drugs now after what he said on the air the other day. Howard said he figured that there was a DEA agent listening to the show the other day and he wants to have him arrested. Howard said he thinks he has a lawsuit again after this. He said that he had to make a statement about how he doesn't sell drugs or do drugs. He said he just kids around on the show and that stuff didn't happen.
Howard claimed that he would take a lie detector test to prove that he didn't do anything back stage. He said that he would like all DEA agents to take tests too and went off on them for wasting time listening to radio shows. Howard said that there were people like Rudy Giuliani who didn't even want to get involved in this case. Howard said he is Mr. Anti-Drug.
Howard made a call to his parents in that old clip and told them about what was going on. His mother, Ray, didn't know what was going on so he filled her in on the story. Ray told him that he kids around about that stuff but people take him seriously. Howard said he's going to be doing this over and over again explaining the story to everyone.
Howard said that he had the general manager there and even the police there at the show and nothing happened. Ray said she should have been there to witness it so she could testify. Howard said there were plenty of people there and she didn't need to be there. He said that they've targeted him over something so ridiculous. He said that Howard could trip over a crack dealer out on the street but they're going after him instead.
Howard told his mother that this guy Michael Levine heard the broadcast where he joked about the drug stuff and he's going after him now without any permission from his bosses. Howard said that they're already claiming that he's under indictment for drug charges and they're just not true. Howard told his mother nothing is going to happen and he just wanted her to know about what's going on.
Howard read that the DEA is saying that this guy wrote these letters on his own without permission and they don't know anything about these charges. Howard said that he did drugs when he was a kid and it ruined his life. Howard's mother said that he never did drugs and she refused to believe that he did. She said that he exaggerates far too much.
Ray said she wanted to speak to this person that was doing all of this. Howard said that the guy broke administrative policy and wrote to the Daily News and started an investigation on his own. Ray said she wants to speak to the man. Howard said he doesn't think he's even under investigation.
After that clip we heard Ben Stern talking about how nothing ever came of that whole thing so it was obvious that it was a load of crap. Dominic Barbara came on and said that the guy came running up to him one day and told him that he was the one who wanted to lock Howard up. Dominic said he told the guy he was an asshole. He said that it all got blown out of proportion back then and they all went after Howard like he was a drug dealer or something. Ben Stern said that the guy should be in jail for what he did. They went to break after that.
Howard read through the article about the masturbation thing and wondered what's so harmful about a little masturbation. Howard said he can't imagine going to his dad about that stuff. Howard said his father probably would have slapped him around if he had done that.
Howard called his parents to talk to them about this. He got his mother Ray on the phone and asked who wanted to give him masturbation advice. Ray said she didn't want to do it so she tried to get Ben but wasn't able to find him. Howard ended up telling his mother about his masturbation schedule when he was a kid. He said he was doing it in the evenings, mornings, afternoons and other times. He said that he didn't do much else other than masturbate and do drugs. Ray didn't believe it.
Howard told a story about doing ludes one day when he was bummed out and he was on them when he was eating lunch with his mother. Ray didn't believe that ever happened. Howard told her to get his dad on the phone so he could talk to him about the masturbation thing.
Ray went and got Ben on the phone. Ben told Howard he doesn't think that this is a healthy practice and if he wasn't wasting his time with that and had played piano, he'd be playing Carnegie Hall. Howard and Ben spent a few minutes on that subject. Howard said he had to go after his father said he knows how to do that stuff even at his age. Howard let him go a short time later. He said he'd imagine that he'd have to be doing that stuff being married to his mother.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard, Gary and Artie talked about the fight that Sam Kinison and Bobcat Goldthwait were in when they were on the show. They went over some of the stuff that was going on back then with them.
We heard from Jackie who said that he knew Sam before he had done the Stern Show and they were always pretty tight. He said that Sam and Bobcat ended up really hating each other back then.
They played an old K-Rock clip where Sam Kinison came on the show with a bunch of people. Sam had a hot chick with him for atmosphere. He had a bunch of other people who were filling the studio so Howard said maybe some of them shouldn't be in there. They didn't leave when Howard mentioned that though.
Howard asked Sam if he wanted to call Bobcat Goldthwait on the air. Howard had his number so Sam said that was great and he'd love to talk to that guy. Howard got a hold of Bobcat and told him that he had Sam there with him. Howard told Sam to say hello to the guy. Sam did it but Howard said it looked like he was getting all worked up already. Howard said that he might have to choose sides if Sam is going to put him in a movie. He told Bob that he was going to have to take Sam's side in all of this.
Sam said that the fact that Bob hadn't hung up was a plus. He and Bob stayed calm for a short time. Sam said that this was like Sinatra bringing Martin and Lewis together. He told them not to break out the Moet yet though. Sam talked about how Bob ended up taking a part from him in a film. Then Sam ended up getting pissed at Bob when he reminded him of something he had said about him in the news. Sam said that he didn't say something that Bob claimed he did and then started to go off on him. He slowly worked up from a calm Sam to a very pissed off Sam.
Sam told Bob that he can't fight with him because he figures Bob can't handle it. Sam said that Bob wakes up wishing that he could be him but he can't. He said that he's the one who was out paying the dues while Bob wasn't. Sam went off on him, Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg and others. Sam said he wasn't going to take this guy's crap and this wasn't his idea, it was Howard's. Howard told Sam to calm down and tried to bring things under control.
Howard told Bobcat that he tried to bring them together but it obviously wasn't working. He said he didn't know it was going to work out that way. Howard hoped that Sam wasn't going to hold this against him and keep him out of his movie. Howard asked Bob if he wanted to say anything. Bob wondered what he meant.
Sam said that he doesn't think that he and Bob even do the same kind of act. He said he just doesn't appreciate him talking about him the way he does. Bobcat said he would apologize to Sam if he'd stop bringing him up. Howard tried to calm them down but Sam started to go off on Bob again so Bobcat hung up. Then Sam was cursing them all out and Howard was freaking out telling him to stop with the cursing.
Howard told Sam that he is going to be the greatest comedian ever and he was saying that on the air before his plane even landed. Sam started to whip out his penis when he heard that because he needed a moment of sexual gratification.
Howard tried to call Bobcat back but he wasn't picking up the phone. Howard told Bob that he would never beat Kinison and Sam was the king of comedy. Sam said he would keep him in the movie and he could do every movie he's in. Sam said that he will never be friends with Bobcat and figures that he can be bought for a dime. Howard said that patch up didn't quite work out the way he expected it to.
After that clip we heard General Manager Tom Chiusano talking about how big Sam was on the show and on the station. They had him doing commercials for the station and things like that. They also had Andy Bloom talking about how they had Sam shoot a commercial for them and Sam wanted to do a long guitar solo for it. They just needed 30 seconds but Sam wanted to do a whole music video. We heard a clip of Sam doing that commercial for WYSP where Sam talked about how great the station was and went nuts talking about it.
Andy Bloom said that he was out at the Laugh Factory one night and Sam came over to him to say hi. Andy said that Sam went off on him for cutting down his TV commercial. He said Sam never got over that.
We heard from Robin talking about how she used to run into Sam in a lot of places when she'd go out. He was back stage at a Van Halen concert one night and he told her that they should get together because it would be really wild. Sam would tell her that he'd get her into the newspapers if they were together. Robin said Sam thought that was some kind of afrodesiac.
Next up we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard asked about what went on with that commercial they recorded with Sam. Tom Chiusano said that they thought they were going to do a 30 second commercial of Sam playing guitar. Sam ended up seeing the way the commercial came out and he went ballistic.
We heard a current clip of Tom talking about Sam confronting Robin in an office there. He said that Sam was spilling Dom Perignon on Howard's desk and had Robin cornered in there. Tom went in and told Robin that she had to get out of there to go to a meeting or something so she ran out when she got the chance.
They played some audio from the show where Howard talked about that day. Robin said that was quite a day that day when he had her cornered.
Next up we heard Scott the Engineer talking about the old Homocop bit they created at K-Rock. They went right into that clip a few seconds later. They had Howard talking up the bit and then playing the bit. Howard said it was the most unbelievable episode he'd ever heard. They spent a short time talking about that before they went to break.
We heard a K-Rock clip where Howard and the crew were at the Oscar awards. Howard came on and started yelling for Dudley Moore to come over to talk to them. Dudley wasn't coming over so Howard attempted to get Ann Archer, Kevin Costner and others to come over. Rob Lowe was on his way in too so Howard said he'd like to get him on too. Howard got a quick interview with Kevin Costner who stopped to say hello.
Howard said that Rob Lowe was there with his mother. He wondered what the hell he was doing with her. He got on his megaphone and tried to get him to come over. Howard said it wasn't easy getting guests there. He did get Rob to come over for a quick interview. Howard told Rob's mother that he was the one who helped Rob get away from Melissa Gilbert. Rob said he still couldn't get a date. Howard let him go because the line of people were still filing past.
Howard saw Patrick Swayze walking by and talked about what he would like to do to his wife. Howard said a few words to Patrick about ''Dirty Dancing'' and let him go. The interviews were very quick. Howard said that the guy is probably saying ''What a jackass'' after he talks to him.
After that we heard Richard Simmons talking about doing the Stern Show and how some people think that he shouldn't go on because of the way he's treated but others love it when he's on. He said that he would try and do it and just have a good laugh.
Gary said that Richard once did the show and claimed that he was engaged to this woman who came with him to the show. Gary said that Richard came prepared with a bit that day and Jackie told him that the flags at Fire Island and Key West were at half staff that day.
They went into the audio from the K-Rock show where Richard came on smelling of perfume. Howard said he wasn't able to breathe from that smell. That's when Richard told Howard that he had an announcement to make. Howard had Fred play a clip from ''Fast Times at Ridgemont High'' that he hated to hear. It was Spicoli saying ''You dick!'' Then Richard made his announcement about being engaged. Howard seemed to be shocked. Richard told Howard that God wants them on this earth to procreate and have children so that's why he's getting married. Howard goofed on Richard about that a little bit. Howard asked if it was April 1st or something.
After a fast forward we heard Howard talking to June Foray who did the Rocky and Bullwinkle characters. They had her on with Dick Butkis who came up to do a Rocky and Bullwinkle parody with them. They got pretty dirty with the bit and freaked out Dick with the content.
We heard from Jackie about how great that bit was and how they couldn't believe that June played along with it.
They went into a K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about John DeBella and saying that he was going to call his show just to annoy him. Howard said he thinks that's what other DJs have been doing to his show so he's going to return the favor.
Howard made the call to DeBella and said maybe he should get him on and tell him that he's going to beat him in the ratings. Howard got a guy on the line and told him who he was. The guy hung right up without saying anything else. Howard called him right back figuring it was DeBella that he had just had on the line. Robin said it did sound like him. When he got him on again he just promoted the station that he was on. Howard tried him a third time and said he hopes his hair doesn't fall out from this.
We heard a current clip of DeBella talking about how he tried to get Howard into trouble when he put him on hold hoping to get him into trouble by making Howard rebroadcast their show.
They played more of the K-Rock clip where Howard got through and DeBella put him on hold so they would hear the show going on while they were on the phone. Howard listened in for a couple of minutes and DeBella even said that it was illegal to put another radio station's signal on without permission.
Next up we heard a clip of Andy Bloom talking about how Howard refused to come to Philly until he was number 1 in the ratings. Howard said that it would have been embarrassing to go there if he wasn't number 1. He said that they had this saga going on trough the years and the audience was tied into it with him. IT became a good promotion for the show in a sense.
Andy Bloom said that one of DeBella's promotions was a ''Louie, Louie'' parade. DeBella came on and talked about how he came up with all of that. DeBella said that they were only going to perform that song in the whole parade. John said that they ended up doing the parade and about 800 people showed up that first year. Years later it was growing and growing and they'd end up on TV and People magazine over it. Andy Bloom said that it was his trademark promotion and Howard set out to ruin it.
They went into another K-Rock clip where a caller told him that they were ready for the ''Howie, Howie'' parade. Howard then explained what was going on with the DeBella parade and how funny he thought it would be to goof on that parade by yelling out ''Howard, Howard'' when the parade went by. It turned into a big deal and the Philly officials were all against it.
Howard said he didn't think it was any big deal but the officials down there don't want it to happen. Gary said they're afraid that it's going to cause problems. Howard said that they're just having some fun. He said that they were going to have people holding up signs and stuff that say ''Howard Forever, Baldie Never.'' Howard said they could have some models handing out the posters down there.
We heard Andy Bloom talking about how Howard asked him to print up 5,000 of those posters for him. Andy said that he had to find a budget somewhere for that and figured that he had to take a pay cut for it. Andy said they had those things for a year because not that many people showed up to the parade. John DeBella claimed that they had 125,000 people at that parade. He said that there were about 12 standing there with the ''Howard Forever'' signs and 6 of them worked at WYSP. DeBella said that anyone who says that there were more than 12 is a liar.
After that we heard a news report about that parade. They talked about how John DeBella had resurrected the song and started the parade. That led into another K-Rock clip where Howard talked about the articles he was reading about the parade. Howard said that he thought they were writing about his interruption of the parade but there was actually no mention in there of the ''Howard, Howard'' parade. Robin said she was wondering how that went. Howard said he didn't know.
Howard took some calls from some Philly fans who claimed to have been at the parade. One guy said they were there and told Howard about what he heard. Howard said that they're getting close to the ratings that DeBella had so it wouldn't be too long before they beat him.
Next up we heard from Meg Griffin who was talking about how brutal that fight was between Howard and DeBella. Howard talked about how brutal it was and how he really doesn't like to revisit that stuff. Howard said he feels bad about it when he thinks about it. Howard said he thought that he was just holding his audience's attention back then.
Fred also talked about what was going on back then. Fred said that DeBella did an interview where he called Howard ''Just an act... and an act grows tired.'' He said that really got to Howard and he eventually just beat the guy. Gary said that they would always hammer away at people they were up against and most of them would ignore them. DeBella couldn't do that and he thought he was that good that he didn't have to ignore Howard.
Howard said that people will create a war with him and they don't seem that sincere about it. When he went up against people he was very sincere about it and it was like listening to a raving lunatic. They went to break after that.
After that we heard Leslie West talking about Jack Bruce appearing on the show over there in London. Leslie said that they called him and asked him to play along over the phone with his guitar. Leslie said that he was 7 seconds behind them so he had to play 7 seconds ahead. They played the audio of that performance where Leslie played guitar while Jack Bruce was playing keyboard.
Next we heard Jackie talking about doing the London shows where they had the Bee Gees on. He said it was amazing having them performing right there in front of them. That led to them playing some K-Rock audio from those performances. Howard had the guys performing one of their hit songs.
After that we heard Jackie talking about how Fred had quit smoking for a while and they started again. He said Fred was afraid of getting his balls broken about that so he would hide it from him. Gary would eat chocolate when he would be under pressure so when they were in London at the Abby Road studios they were under a lot of pressure. Jackie said that Howard was beating the shit out of Gary so Gary went over behind the buffet table and hid there eating a handful of chocolate. Fred walked by and Gary asked him if he wanted to come down and have a cigarette with him. Jackie said that tells the entire dire tale of the show right there. Jackie said that was classic.
Jim Forbes said that Howard crossed paths with DJ Scott Muni over in London during that trip. Tom Chiusano said that the other stations in New York were flexing their muscles with them over there and they did what they could to drive Howard crazy. Howard talked about how Scott Muni really took offense to what he was doing and wanted to beat him up. Howard said he didn't realize how powerful his words were and how he gets under people's skin.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about beating up Scott Muni who was over in London at the time. Howard ended up running upstairs at this place they were at and tried to confront Scott. Howard asked him why he was keeping Joe Cocker from his show. Howard told the guys that they were a bunch of jackasses and that he was going to destroy their radio station. Howard said that they can't keep these guests from his show. Howard told them not to mess with his radio program anymore.
Muni wanted Howard to drop his microphone and fight him. Howard didn't end up fighting with the guy though. He said that he's the king and there are no other kings. Howard asked Gary who the king was. Gary said ''Boss, you are!'' Howard said Muni tried to trip him but he wasn't able to do it.
Howard returned to the area where they were doing their show. Robin said that they were yelling at Howard to put down his mic. Howard said he did put it down but neither of them wanted to throw the first punch and end up getting sued.
Next we heard Ray Stern talking about what her son does to keep people entertained in the mornings. She said that some people don't get that he's doing a spoof of things. She said that people tell her they hate him sometimes and she doesn't get upset. She said that people can turn him off if they don't like the show. Ben Stern also said a few words about that.
After that they went into a K-Rock clip where Howard talked about the feedback they got about the Gay Squirty Dancing bit they did. Howard said he didn't think they were gay bashing and he's really not anti-gay. Howard said they were just having some fun goofing around with the bit. Howard read through some of the mail they got about that bit and read it in his Out of the Closet Stern voice. Howard and Robin went over that for a few minutes.
Next we heard Tom Chiusano talking about having a meeting with the people from GLADD who were upset about what they had heard on the show. Tom said he had the meeting with them and doesn't think they ever called him again after that. He said he explained that they weren't an anti-gay show and he thinks that they believed that. Fred also talked about how there was a lot of serious stuff going on back then and the people at GLADD may have thought they were piling on and making fun when they really weren't doing that. Fred said they weren't promoting hate or anything. It was all done tongue in cheek and in fun.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about the meeting that Tom was in with the people from GLADD. He was talking to Leslie West about that. Howard asked what Tom's extension was so he could call him to find out what was going on. Tom came into the studio instead so Howard asked him about the meeting. Howard said that the meeting was mentioned in the newspaper so he wasn't breaking any news that wasn't already out there.
Howard said that when the people see Tom, the meeting would be over. He said that Tom is a good looking man and figured he had been hit on by gay men before. Howard said it had to be a daily happening for him. Tom said that it's really not. Howard said he was going to lend him a big penis statue to put in his office for the meeting. Tom said he really didn't need that.
Howard said that Tom is a good looking man and even modeled for Playboy magazine because he's so good looking. Howard said the idea of sending him in with the gay people is a great idea. He spent a few minutes with Tom talking about his perfect features and how he would be unstoppable if he had those features himself. Howard said he'd love to have Tom's nose. He wondered if they could make his like that. Robin didn't think that was possible.
Next up we heard Tom talking about his relationship with Howard and how he was hoping that he wouldn't be the same kind of guy as John Hayes was at WNBC.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking to his friend Dr. Lou and wondering when he became an old man. Howard said that when they were 18 the guy wanted to be a 40 year old doctor and it was really depressing to hang out with him now. He said he's into ballroom dancing now. Howard said that Lou's wife probably got him into that stuff. He said that she probably forced him to go. Howard wondered if he could call him p-whipped on the air. Howard said he might just throw it out there. Howard said it's not a dirty word but both Robin and Gary were telling him that he probably couldn't say it.
Howard was trying to come up with a reason that he could say the word pussy along with the other word. Robin argued with him about it for a couple of minutes. Howard said he was going to call the FCC and ask them himself. He made that call a short time later.
Howard spoke to a woman down there at the FCC and asked her if he could combine those two words. The woman who he was talking to didn't seem to have an answer. Howard said Gary was coming in there waving his arms around while he was talking to this woman. The woman at the FCC told him to hold on and she'd get someone who could help. Howard told her that he'd abide by her decision. He told her to flip a coin if she had to and he'd take that as the ruling. She said her ruling wouldn't be official and he could still get in trouble. Howard told her to make the decision anyway.
Howard said that he had to play a clip from a Sesame Street record before she made her decision. They referred to a cat as a pussy in that clip. Howard said that this woman is able to make up her own mind. He gave her a couple of other things to think about before making her decision. The woman didn't want the play the game with him. She said that she would have to tell him no if it was up to her. She told Howard to call Charles Kelly to speak to him about this instead. Howard had her put him through to her after that.
Tom Chiusano came in while Howard was waiting on hold because he wanted him to end the bit. Howard said that he had been censored yet again. Howard ended up hanging up on the FCC before he got through to the other guy. Howard said that he can't be creative in that kind of environment. He said he wanted to go home. Howard said that Tom is P-whipped too.
Gary came in and said that Tom wanted to see him after the show. Howard said he can't do a show knowing that he has to meet with Tom after the show. He said it's like being dragged into the principal's office. Gary said that Tom wasn't laughing when he was laughing and he felt kind of stupid doing that.
Howard said they're always telling him not to be frivolous there but then they want him to do his show. Howard said that he might just get fired over this because Tom gave him the cut signal and looked really pissed.
After a fast forward we heard Howard talking about how he was going to just play music for the rest of the show. He was going to call Ronnie and ask him if they had canceled his limo yet. Howard ended up calling Tom in his office instead. He was very nervous making the call though. Howard said he can't do a radio show when he's nervous like that. Tom didn't get on right away and his secretary told him that he was in a meeting. Howard told the secretary to get Tom on because he was very nervous. They ended the bit around that time without an end to the segment, and went to break.
After that we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard played the interview that Gary did with the band. Howard said that no one calls him a ''piece of s'' except for him. Howard played the tape and we hear the band saying they're not supposed to have done the interview. Gary then asked the guys if they knew of Howard Stern. They pretended that they did know him and they were friends with him. Then Gary asked the questions which included things that were kind of crazy for the time. Gary asked if anyone in the band had a hair weave. They said that person wasn't in the band anymore. Gary asked if anyone in the band had been attracted to another band member. Then Gary asked if Alex was attracted to Eddie's wife. That brought things down for the guys. Gary was also asking what they would do if they saw a child and a dog locked in a car on a hot summer day. The guys were saying that they would keep driving and find a real emergency. Gary asked a few more questions and some of them were kind of uncomfortable for him to ask. The guys were laughing and answering the questions but Gary said that the looks on their faces were kind of scary at times.
Gary asked the band if they had ever seen Leslie West eat. He asked Eddie if Valerie was his first choice or if McKenzie Philips had blown him off. Eddie said he had never met Mckenzie. He seemed to be having fun with the questions. Gary then asked if they wanted David Lee Roth's tour to go bad. They said that they wished him luck with the tour. Gary explained to the guys who Howard Stern was but they didn't seem to have a clue. Sammy knew Howard but that's because he had hung out with them before.
After that we heard Gary talking about how he was sent out to do an interview with Robert Plant after that Van Halen thing. Gary said that it was really embarrassing and he hated doing it all. Gary said they only sent him out to do a few more interviews like that. Howard didn't take long to realize that he couldn't keep sending him out to do those things because he's the same guy trying to book guests like that on the show.
We heard a K-Rock clip where Howard played the Robert Plant interview that Gary did. They played the interview and laughed at the way things were going. Gary wasn't having fun asking the questions.
They played a K-Rock clip where Howard was making the call to the studio where Chevy was at. Howard asked a woman to get Chevy on the line so he and Richard could speak to him. They waited on hold for a few seconds and then the woman said there were some problems and Chevy wasn't able to come to the phone. Howard asked if he was on Percodan or something. The woman asked Howard to call the same number but ask someone else to help them out. She was just an intern and wasn't able to help.
Howard called again and the woman told him that they were going to tell Chevy that he was on the line. They waited for Chevy to come on again. Howard and Belzer spent a few minutes killing time waiting for Chevy to show up. The woman said that they did have someone trying to find him. Then she said that they were rolling and they weren't able to get him to the phone. She said that they could stay on the phone if they wanted to. Howard said he would stay on through the commercials if that was the case. Then the woman said Chevy was on his way up.
Chevy got on the line and said that he loves Belzer. Chevy said he had heard about Howard Stern before and said it was great that he sits there and talks. Chevy said he heard that he had been bad mouthing him on the show. Howard said that he doesn't know where he's getting his information from. Howard said that he didn't say anything bad about him and he's not sure who is telling him this stuff.
Howard said he didn't want to insult him but Chevy told him that would be fine. Howard spent a short time talking to Chevy and filling him on what the radio show was. Chevy didn't know Robin so Howard had to introduce her to him.
Howard spoke to Chevy about his problems with Percodan. Chevy said that he was addicted to everything and there was nothing that he didn't take. Howard asked if he could ask a serious question and get a serious answer. Chevy said that was fine, he wanted to share his personal life with him. Howard asked him who was better in bed, Gilda Radner or Lorne Michaels. Chevy said that it was Lorne and then sarcastically said that was a really funny question.
Howard talked to Chevy a little longer and asked a few more questions about his personal life. Chevy seemed to be getting kind of irritated with the call though. Howard didn't know that much about him so he was finding out stuff that he didn't know. Chevy said that he had only been married once. Howard asked if she was a model. Chevy said that she wasn't. He joked that he met her through Leon Spinks. Chevy told Howard about some of the work he did with Lorne Michaels when he was working on Saturday Night Live and things like that.
He asked Chevy about working with Julianne Phillips and what that's been like. They spent a little time talking about her. Chevy said that he didn't want to get into details about that stuff. Howard told Chevy that he felt they were getting along pretty well this morning and he hopes that they can continue it. Howard told him that he's up for a part in a film, although it is a small part. Howard said that he would like Chevy to know that he's doing that so he can keep him in mind for future projects. Howard told him to check him out on Letterman and Hollywood Squares. He said he's just doing that show as a goof. Chevy said that everything he does in his career he's doing for a goof. Chevy had to run after that. He said he hopes to talk to him again in another 4 or 5 years.
After that we heard a clip from the Hollywood Squares shows that Howard did. Then a clip from K-Rock where Howard was talking phone calls about being on Hollywood Squares. Howard talked about how he's filling in for Shadoe Stevens on Hollywood Squares. He said that he's going to be taking his spot in the square but won't be doing the announcing since he's really not an announcer. Howard said that he really didn't want to do all of that goofy stuff that Shadoe does.
Howard said he'd be screwing things up and doesn't need 9 celebrities watching him while he does that. Howard said he told them that Shadoe can do that stuff himself. Shadoe was going to be the host that week while he sat in for him in the square. Howard said he has no problem doing that. Howard said he's going to call Jm J. Bullock 'Jm J Buttocks'' instead. He wondered if he could get away with that. Robin told him that probably won't work. Howard continued to talk about that whole thing and how no one was going to see it anyway.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he never wanted to go on TV shows but sometimes they'd capture his attention and he'd go out and do some goofy stuff. He said he thought it would be good for the radio show and something goofy to do. That's why he did the Hollywood Squares.
Then they played a clip from the Hollywood Squares shows that Howard did. He was joking around about the FOX Network in that clip. They edited it down so they only had the contestants picking Howard during the show.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about the lame jokes they write for people on the Hollywood Squares show. Howard said he didn't want to read the jokes so they ended up editing out most of the stuff that he said. He said they cut out his jokes but he wasn't sure what he was thinking at the time.
That led into a clip from David Letterman's show where Howard talked about his appearance on Hollywood Squares. Howard told Dave that was probably one of the worst experiences of his career. Howard told Dave about the experience there and how the audience had to see a man uglier than Shadoe Stevens. Howard also talked about sitting next to Michael Winslow from the Police Academy movies. Howard said the guy was doing his sound effects and started spitting all over the place. Howard said the guy is so unknown that they even listed him as ''The black guy from Police Academy'' under his name. Howard also talked about some of the other people who were on the show with him and how he tried to do his own jokes instead of reading the stuff they had pre-written for him.
Howard told Dave about a joke he made about Mayor Koch on the show and how the producers told him he couldn't joke about that stuff. Howard said they apparently didn't like his jokes. They went to break after that segment.
Howard took some calls about the bit after that and the fans were telling him how magnificent it was. One caller said he outdid himself with that bit. Howard said that it might be one of the best bits they've ever done. Howard said that he played the part of Karen in that bit. He said he really tried to play it the best he could.
After that bit we heard Jim Forbes talking about the greatest reality show that was never filmed. The Jessica Hahn and Sam Kinison story. We heard from Robin talking about how she was the one who helped hook Sam and Jessica up when she was out in L.A. one time. She said that she brought Jessica out to see Sam do a show at the Comedy Store. She said that they went to this big party back stage that night. We heard Jessica talking about going back to that party that night.
Robin said that she could tell that Jessica was into Sam that night. She said that Arsenio Hall stopped in that night too. Robin said that he and Sam started doing a dueling preacher thing and Jessica loves preachers so she fell for Sam hard after seeing that. The next thing Robin knew the two of them were hanging out and flying all over the country together.
Jessica said that Sam was a huge fan of Howard's so he knew about her and they started talking about the show. She said that Sam was willing to do anything for the show. She said they took off that night and started driving around while Sam was drinking. She said that he would go out and sniff coke and go out and do his stuff on stage. She said that the audience loved him. Jessica said that the drove around and went back to Sam's hotel that night and he told her that they couldn't let people find out about them. Jessica said the next morning they were in the paper already. She said that she told Sam to be quiet when they went back to the hotel and they were able to ditch everyone else.
Jessica said that she had promised that there wouldn't be any scandals when she did Playboy and then she and Sam ended up being discovered. Jessica said that Sam had his long black coat on and his red scarf. She said they looked really odd as they walked into the hotel attracting attention. She said that Sam promised not to say anything but then he turned around, held up his bottle of booze and yelled ''Hey everybody, I'm with Jessica Hahn!'' She said that Sam wanted to call Howard and let him know what was going on after that.
That led into another K-Rock clip where Howard had Jessica on the show and talked to her about the shows she was doing. She was on Larry King so Howard was goofing on her about that a little bit because she told Larry she loves him. Howard also said that Jessica is saying she loves Sam too. Howard said he knew all about what was going on with her and Sam. He said he created all of this stuff too.
Jessica told Howard that he should come out to California but Howard said he's not going to do that. Jessica said that Howard did help her meet these people and she needs people out there.
Howard said he can tell that Jessica is getting it on with Sam because of the way she reacted to Larry King's questions. Jessica said that she loves Sam and truly cares about him. Howard said that they all love Sam. Jessica said she wanted to get a hug from him. Howard said he wants to hug those new breasts of her's too. He said she needs something to rub up against them.
Gilbert Gottfried stopped in around that time so Howard introduced him to Jessica. Howard said that every comedian wants to meet Jessica. He asked Gilbert what he was doing there. Gilbert said he just wanted to stop in to pretend like he has a career going. Howard told Jessica about all of Gilbert's accomplishments and then Jessica gave him a copy of her Playboy magazine. Howard said that she has perfect breasts in that layout.
Howard told Jessica that she looks great in the shot of her on her back. He said that he imagines that being him with her in the hotel room in Los Angeles. He said he knew that he blew it that night. Howard also said that he knew that Jessica was going to get lured into Sam's web when Robin introduced him to her.
Jessica said that she and Sam just laughed when they hung out. She said they stayed up the entire night and stayed up laughing. Howard said that he knows that they're being romantic together. He said that there's no way Sam hangs around a woman like that and doesn't do anything. Jessica said that Sam has a girlfriend. Howard said that doesn't matter.
Howard said that Sam was going to be coming on the show the next day. Jessica said that she was going to miss him because their schedules are a little off. Howard talked to Jessica about going up on stage with Sam and how that went. Jessica said she's having a lot of fun. Howard told her she's having too much fun.
After that clip we heard Jackie talking about how that whole thing would have made a great reality show. He said that Sam and anyone was a funny thing to imagine. Jackie said that he always got a kick out of Jessica too. He talked about how Jessica once told he and Fred about some other stuff fin her life that she had never revealed. He said they could have told Page Six about this stuff but they were very nice and would never do that.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking to Sam Kinison about hanging out with Jessica Hahn. Howard said that Sam wasn't trying to be friends with Jessica when he hired a private jet to fly her around. Sam said that she's a great girl and Howard could have had her if he wanted. Howard said that Jessica was another girl that he had set Sam up with. Howard said he also set him up with Leslie West.
Howard asked Sam how many times he could do Jessica if he were with her. Sam said that's a hypothetical and wondered if he would be on ecstasy or not. Sam wasn't answering right away. Howard kept asking but Sam would only say that they were just friends. Howard told Sam to come in the next day and be prepared to tell it all.
After that clip we heard Ronnie the Limo Driver talking about what a great guest Sam Kinison was. Ronnie said he would get into a lot of shit with people. He said that the longest show they ever did, other than 9/11, was the show when Sam came in drunk. He said that show went until about Noon.
They went into a K-Rock show clip where Howard had Sam Kinison and Leslie West on the show. Howard was talking to Sam about hanging out with Leslie and how he had to be careful to not get him involved in that drug stuff again. Howard pointed out that Sam was drunk. Sam denied it but then said he might be clinically drunk. Howard wanted to talk to Sam about being with Jessica Hahn too. Sam said that he used her hair like the bridal of a horse and rode her.
Sam told Howard that he and Jessica have nothing but a sincere relationship. He told Howard about how things have been going with them and how he would break it off right then if Howard wanted him to. Howard said he's happy he brought them together and he wouldn't break that off. Sam said that Howard could have had Jessica and he blew it. Sam was going nuts yelling and making all kinds of strange noises.
Next we heard former intern Mitch Fatel talking about how Howard was a great comedic mind and you could see his mind working when you'd talk to him. He said that he always had an ability to make you want to hear everything that came out of his mouth. He said that he realizes now that he was watching one of the masters of speech when he was there at the show. Mitch said that the way Howard talks about it just makes you want to listen to him constantly. Mitch said that he sees how hard it is to be engaging like that and thinks that Howard is a genius in that way.
Milton said that he didn't think he looked his age and asked Robin how old he did look. Robin told him he looked 60. He was 80. Howard said that he really does look about 60. Howard then said that he was every inch a gentleman and wanted to talk to him about the size of his weenie. Milton said that he didn't have to talk about that.
Howard said he heard a story about Hunts Hall having a contest to see who had the bigger penis and Hunts won. Milton said that Hunts Hall didn't win. He said he didn't want to go that deep and low but then he told a story about doing a golf event where Hunts Hall and Forrest Tucker were there. They were known to have big penises as well. Milton said that they wanted him to strip down but he dint want to do it. He said someone yelled out from the back for him to just take out enough to beat the other two.
Howard said it must be great to have a big penis. He said his is small and it looks even smaller on his big frame. Milton told him that the size doesn't really matter. He didn't want to continue the discussion about that. Howard said that isn't true. Howard said he can't be that humble and drop it.
Howard said the audience didn't get a chance to speak to him last time so he went to the phones. He took some calls from some people. One guy asked him if he's ever passed out when the blood rushes to his penis. Milton didn't have an answer for him. He just said that was very funny. Another caller said that he had two questions. He told Milton that he's never found him funny and went off on him until Howard could hang up on the guy. Howard took some more calls and let some other guys ask some questions.
After that we heard Jackie talking about that day they did the interview and he saw Milton after the show and heard him saying that they spent 30 minutes talking about his cock. Jackie said that was so true and so funny.
After that they ended the History of Howard Stern. It was around 11:30am.