Howard started off the show talking about the Super Bowl. He said he wrote down a bunch of notes about the game so he was ready to go. Artie won $2,500 on the game so he told Howard about his win. He had a story about his buddy who was out in Las Vegas over the weekend. Artie was ready to pick Seattle in the over so his buddy called him a retard about 10 times and explained why he wasn't going to win. The friend convinced him to take the under on the Seahawks so that's what he did instead of going with the Steelers. That was the only bet he made on the game so that's all he won. Howard figures that Artie is only half a winner because he didn't pick the Steelers to win.
Howard thought that the officiating was horrible in the game and they were wrong a couple of times. Gary came in and argued about some of the things Howard thought the officials screwed up on. Howard said that the calls were so bad that it made him think that someone was being paid off.
Howard said the game was good in a way because it was so close. He liked that part of it but the officiating was just horrible. He said he predicted that the game would be 28 - 17 so he was a bit off. The guys went on to talk about how well Seattle seemed to be playing in the first half of the game. Gary said he thought that the two teams were kind of sloppy throughout the game.
Howard brought up the half time show and talked about the Rolling Stones. He thought that it wasn't the Stones' fault that their first song didn't sound all that great. He blamed it on the engineers who were controlling the board. He said you'd think they'd have time to get that right before they go on stage. He was also saying that he kind of liked the new song they played. Artie said that he saw them live a few weeks ago and they were great. It was quite a difference last night.
Howard was talking about Mick Jagger wearing the belly shirt he was wearing during his performance. It's obvious he knows that he's showing off that belly of his as if he was Britney Spears or something. He was also saying that Mick should stop shaking his arms in the air because you see his flabby arms shaking. Robin thought it was nice to have a block of the Rolling Stones play during the game.
Howard asked Fred to see if they had the Stones' new song ''Rough Justice'' in their music library. He found it a few seconds later. Howard and the guys listened to the album version and no one thought it sounded like the song they actually performed during the half time show. Howard said he liked the half time show over all.
The guys talked about the opening of the show with Dr. John, Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin. Howard was talking about how huge Aretha was and how they should be playing ''What is that thing on Aaron Neville's Face'' that someone created for them many years ago. Howard didn't like the performance all that well and gave it a C- for a grade. He said that Aretha can still sing but they obviously didn't rehearse the song before hand.
Howard suggested that Aretha should have been playing on one of the teams because she's so big. He was wondering how ABC got the rights to do the Super Bowl after CBS and FOX aired all of the games during the regular season. Gary was saying that the NFL puts up the bowl separately so any network can bid on that.
Robin had Howard play some audio clips of some Pittsburgh fans celebrating after the game last night. Howard heard a little bit of screaming and cringed at what he was hearing. Howard then moved on to the commercials that ran during the game. He said it's a shame that pretty girls can't be part of that stuff anymore because of the Janet Jackson thing.
Howard heard that the GoDaddy.com commercial had to be edited about 14 times because ABC kept rejecting them. The Jessica Simpson commercial was also not that great. He said that she wasn't sexy or a great singer on the commercial. Howard didn't think she looked that hot. Artie said she looked good but she always looks good to him. Howard liked the FedEx commercial with the caveman getting stomped by a dinosaur. Leonard Nimoy's commercial for Aleve was also pretty good.
Howard saw the promos for ''Lost'' and thought about what a dope Michelle Rodriguez is because she may have blown her job on that show after getting into some trouble over in Hawaii. The guys thought that it would be great to have her back on the show because she was so out of control when she was on at the old station.
Howard said that the beer commercial where the guy fell through the roof was pretty funny. He asked Gary how much extra money the Refs make for doing the Super Bowl. No one was really sure but Artie said he almost went into Umpiring school. He said he heard that they were making about $50,000 a year covering baseball games. That was also about 13 years ago so it's probably higher than that. That led to the guys talking more about the bad officiating of the game for a short time.
Howard had audio of the National Anthem from last night so he played that. Aaron Neville could barely be heard at the start of the song. The guys goofed on Aretha Franklin's size a little bit. Howard then moved on to talk about one of the worst commercials which was the Dove commercial where there were little girls talking about how bad they feel about themselves. They're also talking about taking money and opening up some place that will help make girls feel better about themselves and he doesn't get that either. The guys talked about how that was kind of a bummer during the game, as were some of the other commercials. The Diet Pepsi commercials were bad according to Howard. He also said that the Kermit the Frog commercial for Ford was passable but not that great. The Disney Commercial also went on way too long. They went to commercial break a short time later.
Artie said that he was thinking about the musicians from the 60s who claim to have been on hard core drugs back then. He figures that there's no way they were on heroin and performed songs like that. He said that you can't function when you're on that stuff and there's no way that the guys in the band were that into the hard core stuff. Howard said he doesn't think that the guys in Aerosmith were all that into the hard core stuff either, they probably just didn't get along. Artie said that people like Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain are the guys who were really hard core.
Fred was saying that he believes that some guys could be completely wasted and still play really well. He pointed out Joe Walsh as one of those brilliant guys who could perform even when he was wasted.
Howard said that someone wondered why SIRIUS didn't have a Super Bowl commercial. He was wondering the same thing but figures they can't keep up with the demand for their radios. He was also saying that they have a deal with the NFL so they should have gotten a discount on the ads. Artie was also saying that the fans in Pittsburgh are really huge fans of the show and it would have been a perfect time to advertise. Howard said he doesn't know why SIRIUS didn't advertise but they may be holding the money for future advertising campaigns.
Al Lewis was 95 years old when he died last Friday. Fred read that Al wasn't really as old as he claimed he was so he may have only been 85. Howard went on to talk about some of the things they did with Al. What many people don't know is that he used to be a basketball scout and had a great nose for talent in basketball.
Howard talked about the day when Al went into a rambling speech about the FCC and started yelling out the ''Fuck the FCC'' over and over again while they were live on the air. Howard said he dived for the microphone and wrestled it away from them. The FCC never fined them for that because it was a live event and no one complained about it. Howard said that Grandpa thought that they had all caved in to the FCC at that point but he tried to explain to him that the rally wasn't about the F-word. He didn't understand that though. There was also a rumor that Grandpa may have crapped his pants back then but no one was sure about that.
Howard said he thinks that Al Lewis was one of the best comedic actors of all time. Al didn't appear on the show for many years but Howard did send him a note not too long ago but didn't hear back from him. Howard played ''The Munsters'' theme song and sang some lyrics that he was making up as he went along. Fred wrote some lyrics too so Howard had him sing his version as Herman Munster.
Howard said he was surprised that Grandpa didn't make the front page of the news over the weekend. He said the person who did make the front page was this woman Betty Friedan. He explained who she was and how the world went berserk after her book came out back in the 1960s. She angered a lot of women when she suggested that women could have a choice in what they did in their lives. Howard and the guys talked about her for a short time. Howard thought that Grandpa was just as big of a celebrity as Betty was so he should have been on the cover of the news.
Howard said he appreciates what Betty did for women but Grandpa deserved the front page of the news. He said that The Munsters were only on for 2 seasons but it was the greatest TV show next to The Adams Family. He said it's better than Seinfeld because that was really a show about nothing. Howard said that Grandpa Al Lewis took a miserable boy and made him happy. He was talking about himself of course. He figures there were a lot of other miserable little boys out there as well. Howard said goodbye to Grandpa and played some audio from The Munsters. Artie reminisced about the FCC Rally that Grandpa was part of. He said that he got a phone number from some chick out on Long Island but nothing every happened. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said that Gary got a call from a guy claiming that he was the man being sworn in as the Prime Minister of Canada today. The guy claims that he has been a fan of Howard Stern for quite a while and just wanted to call in. Howard and the guys didn't believe that it was the actual guy but they let him talk about how they have no plans on stopping the Stern show from being played on SIRIUS Canada. The guy was obviously a fake, everyone knew it, but he continued to goof around with them until he informed everyone that they weren't going to round up all of the homosexuals and put them in camps... in the first year, maybe in the second.
Robin said that she had some fun calling in and talking with the guys. She called in a couple of times. Artie missed the show but both Howard and Robin listened to most, if not all, of it. Artie said that's the one thing he's better at than Howard is... Taking vacation. He said he didn't hear any of the show that day.
Howard said that they want to give the fans a show that's worth listening to and that's what The Friday Show is. Robin said that there were a lot of haters over on SternFanNetwork.com. Howard said there doesn't seem to be any actual Stern Fans over there.
Lisa said that they'll be reminiscing about Grandpa Al Lewis today at Noon. She said that they will be talking to a bunch of people from the show about Grandpa's death. Howard said someone wanted a quote from him about Grandpa but he makes all the statements he wants on his radio show. Lisa said that they'll also be doing a report about the Lingerie Bowl. They sent Lance Rodman out to the Lingerie Bowl. Gary came in and said that Gary Garver was out there too and got an interview with Harrison Ford but Cindy Margolis refused to talk to him.
Howard changed subjects and talked about how he was invited to Jeff Schick's Bar Mitzvah and the invitation he got was one of those snake-in-a-can joke invitations. He and Gary ended up getting the same invitation and talked about how they're adults and that kind of stuff doesn't do anything for them. Howard said when he gets invitations for Bar Mitzvahs, he ''runs for zee hills'' because they're so disgusting. He explained what the whole Bar Mitzvha thing is all about and then wondered if Jeff Schick is even a Jew.
Artie said that he must be really racist because he just assumed that Jeff was a Jew because he's so smart. Howard got back to the Bar Mitzvah thing and said that the girl's Bas Mitzvah thing never used to exist but now it's a regular thing. He said that the money spent and the circus atmosphere around those things is ridiculous. He said that when he threw his daughter's their parties, people would ask him what celebrities he was having to the party. He didn't have any and thought it was ridiculous to expect things like that.
Howard has a daughter who is at that age for a Mitzvah so that will be happening this year. Howard said he has no idea to go to any more of these things so he will probably just write a check for Jeff's son. Lisa G ran out and said that she'd see them at Noon and 6 on Howard 100 news.
Howard had some audio clips from Oprah's show so he demonstrated how there were no good answers from Dave. Oprah asked Dave about what happened and why he walked away from his show. Howard said that he loves Dave but he wanted to shake him when he saw this interview with Oprah. Dave claims that he wasn't on drugs when he walked away from the show. He told Oprah that he was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible so he was overwhelmed with that stuff. Howard said it sounds like he had a nervous breakdown.
Howard said that Dave still seems to be a bit confused about his career. Artie said he hung out with Dave one day after they were both on Howard's show together. He said that Dave told him he really wants to do the right thing and be a nice guy. Howard said that might be the way Dave feels but he wasn't able to explain it on Oprah's show. Artie said he kind of knows how Dave felt because he went through some similar issues in his career. He admits he wasn't as big of a star as Dave had become though.
Howard played a clip where Oprah asked Dave about what went on when he came back to do the show. Dave said that people were spreading stories about him that just weren't true. He was all over the place trying to explain himself though. Howard wondered what's going on with this guy. He and Artie think that he may have some mental issues and he might be caught in a bad scene. Gary told Howard that Dave is supposed to be coming on the show in about 9 days. Howard said he knows that but Dave should have come to him first.
Artie said that he thinks that Dave has a lot of integrity with his show and what's why he walked away from it. Howard played another clip where Oprah asks Dave if he will ever go back. Dave said that he's been going back and forth about that and he's not sure if he will or not. He said that he might go back to the show if he could make the proper work environment. Then he said that he would like to give half of his DVD revenue back to the people. Howard said Dave is making it seem like he can't give that money to charity but he can choose to do whatever he wants with that money. He can give it to charity if he wants, he doesn't have to make someone else give it away for him.
Artie seems to think that Dave might feel guilty about some of the bits he does on his show and that's what this is all about. In the audio clip Dave said that he wants to give some of that money to the audience. Howard said no one is stopping him from doing that but he can't give away the money if he's not working to make the money. Artie said that when you're a comedian you will cross any line to get a laugh and you end up feeling guilty sometimes. That's what he seems to think Dave is suffering with.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that some people have a hard time handling huge amounts of money. He said that Dave seems to be suffering with the large amount of money he's making on that TV show. Another caller heard that Dave was told he couldn't have all the freedom he wanted so that's why he walked away from the show. Artie heard that after the Janet Jackson Super Bowl thing, Comedy Central went to Dave and told him he wouldn't be able to get away with a lot of what he was doing so they had to limit what he was doing.
Howard said he will drag the answers out of Dave when he comes on the show. He's not going to let him skirt around the answers like Oprah did. Howard had to move on to Collective Soul since the guys were waiting to come on to recreate some of the songs they did over at K-Rock. Howard went to commercial after that.
Howard went to dinner with Pat Monahan from Train on Saturday and they talked about how tough it is to get some notice these days. The guys from Collective Soul said that they weren't making any money on their record sales because the record company would charge them back for anything that had to do with their promotion. Howard said the only way bands can make money is by going on tour. The record companies are doing anything they can to make money so they take over everything from web sites to CD sales these days according to the guys.
Artie mentioned something about marriage during the discussion with the band so Howard asked him if he's getting crap from Dana about getting married. Artie said that's a discussion for another day. He said he was going to be just as cryptic as Dave Chappelle was on Oprah's show.
Howard told the guys from Collective Soul about what happened to his old shows. He said that he owns the intellectual property there but the tapes are co-owned by him and Infinity (Now CBS Radio). He said that neither of them can use the tapes without each other's permission. He said he could have had his old tapes if he had come up with $40 million but there's no way he was going to do that. Now neither of them are going to benefit from it.
Howard asked the guys to recreate some of the songs they did over at K-Rock so they can have them back. He asked them to perform ''Shine'' but they wanted to start with ''December'' and work their way up to ''Shine.'' Howard spent a couple of minutes asking the guys if they were losers sitting around their bedrooms just playing guitar. They said they were but Howard found that hard to believe because they seem to be pretty normal looking guys. Artie said that he and Howard should have been sitting in their rooms playing guitar, not these guys.
Howard had the guys go ahead and perform ''December.'' It's strange how they don't have the technical problems they used to back at K-Rock with the engineering of the songs. Howard asked the guys how many CDs they sold with that song. The guys told him that they sold about 3 million CDs of that album and the song was written in about 5 minutes one day when they were in a recording session. That song still generates a bit of money for them.
The band performed ''The World I Know'' but they did have some technical issues with the echo at the start of the song. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to the guys about how they met and then took a call from Captain Janks who said that's one of his favorite songs ever. He asked what exactly the song was about. Ed told him that he was in New York City at the time and saw such a wide variety of lives going on there that he just put those thoughts into the song.
Howard asked Ed if he every had any famous chicks. Ed said that he never really did even after his divorce. He did go crazy a bit with the women after the divorce but no famous chicks. He said the marriage lasted 6 years. He also said that he got wiped out in that divorce. Howard asked how guys think that they're going to like the same woman for the rest of their lives. Ed said that's a good question. Howard said his parents have been together for over 50 years but he figures his father stays with his mother because no one else would want him.
Howard had the guys perform one last song for them and that was their hit song ''Shine.'' He also gave them a plug for their new DVD Collective Soul: Home and CD of the same name and their web site CollectiveSoul.com. Howard liked the song and said he appreciates that they came in and didn't complain that they can't sing first thing in the morning. Ed said that he'll do whatever he has to do... but the best thing is to just stay up all night and not sleep.
Howard spent a little more time talking to the guys. He asked Ed if he watched the Super Bowl yesterday and if he bet on it. Ed said he did bet on the game but he ended up splitting his wins and losses so it was a wash. Howard said that he watched some stuff on the Animal Planet channel where they had a ''Puppy Bowl'' with puppies playing with each other. Artie mentioned the Lingerie Bowl but Howard said he didn't watch that because he missed out on the Janet Jackson tittie show that year because he was watching the Lingerie Bowl.
Howard talked about the Rolling Stones performance and how he feels odd seeing Mick Jagger and the other guys in the band wearing belly shirts. Ed said it's not just weird to see a 60-something year old guy wearing a belly shirt, it's weird to see any man's belly. Robin told Howard she had some clips pulled from the half-time show so Howard played a little bit of that. He didn't get through much of it. He got back to the guys and asked them if they do cover songs when they do concerts. Ed said that they do cover some songs and even covered The Who's ''Squeezebox'' Howard said he hates that song and he's not much of a Who fan. He said he does like some of their stuff but doesn't really like Roger Daltrey's voice.
Ed asked Howard what happened to his band. Howard said that the Losers are talking about getting back together. Ralph called in and asked if Howard heard the same Rolling Stones that he heard. He thought that they weren't all that great. Howard, Robin and Ed all defended Mick's performance and blamed the technical problems on the engineers. Ralph asked Scott the Engineer if he was actually working there. Scott took all the blame for the Rolling Stones bad sound at the start of the half time show.
Howard wrapped up with the guys and gave them some plugs for their stuff. Then Artie started to sing some Who songs. Howard had Fred try to sing a little while Joel played guitar for him. He was doing pretty good actually. Howard took a phone call from a guy who told the band how great they sounded. Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and asked the guys what they thought about Dolly Parton covering their song ''Shine.'' Ed said that he thought it was great actually. Fred pulled up Dolly Parton's version of ''Shine'' and played it for Howard. He had never heard it before. He said it was pretty good but Artie said ''This is shit...'' Howard played out to commercial by playing the band's new song ''How do you Love.''
Howard had KC Armstrong, former associate producer for the show, and Jessica Hahn's assistant Laurie on the phone. He said there was a news report about KC giving Laurie a watch as collateral for some money he borrowed. Howard said he heard from KC who said that he would never give up the watch that Howard gave him as collateral. He said the whole story was blown out of proportion. KC was having some throat problems so Howard had to ask him to clear that out for him. KC hocked up something and said he spit it into his dip cup to get rid of it. He's now chewing tobacco.
Laurie told Howard that she did get KC's watch and she knows what it looks like because he gave it to her. KC said that she probably just called them to get on the air. Laurie said she called the news department to let them know about this because she wanted to get her money back. KC borrowed $300 from her and she thought he was coming back the next day to give her the money. He didn't come back for 4 days. Laurie was upset that KC was treating her like a psycho when he was the one who gave up the watch.
Howard figures that Laurie was pressuring him into giving the money back but KC insists that she was just looking for air time because he did pay her back. Howard asked Laurie why she would loan him the money in the first place. She wasn't sure why she did that.
Jessica Hahn also called in and asked KC not to lie about this stuff. She wasn't there at the time but she was on the phone with Laurie at the time. She said that she heard about what went on and backed up Laurie's story. KC is claiming that he didn't borrow $300, he borrowed $140. Then Laurie said that he gave her back $180 so that wasn't true either. KC told Howard he didn't want to call in because he knows that they're just looking for air time.
Robin wondered why KC was borrowing money but still riding around in a limo. KC said that he was going to tell them the whole story. He said that Jessica's assistant sent him a text message where she said ''Lets fuck'' but it sounded like he was joking around and Jessica said that he was doing just that. Howard asked Jessica if she was willing to come in and ride the Sybian. Jessica said she has to think about it a little longer because her boyfriend might have a problem with it. Howard told her that no one is listening anyway so she shouldn't worry about it.
Gary came in and said that he and KC had a conversation last week and KC told him that Jessica gave him a hand job. Jessica said that KC was just being silly now. Howard asked KC if that was the case, it might get Jessica in trouble with her boyfriend. Jessica tried to defend herself and said that she was going to talk about why he was actually fired from the show. She didn't want to talk about it on the air though because it involved someone else. Howard didn't want them to bring anyone else into that so he stopped them from talking about it.
Howard asked KC how he ended up in a bathtub with Jessica Hahn where she allegedly gave him a hand job. KC said that it was really nice. KC asked Robin if she knows him as a liar. She said she doesn't but Fred came in and said that KC's last few months at K-Rock was all about deception and lies so he is kind of known as a liar. KC said that might be but he's really not a liar.
Jessica and Laurie had one version of the story and KC had another. Richard Christy called in as Rusty Pecker and said that he got a hand job from KC too. Howard lost Jessica so he asked the guys to get her back on. KC then went on to tell his side of the story. He said they all went to Jack in the Box for some food and he didn't have any on him. He said that Laurie gave him the money to borrow and he said he was going to pay her back on Monday. Laurie said that KC was lying about this and wanted him to tell the truth.
KC said that he was looking to get a blow job from Laurie that night. He said he messed around with her that night and that they had messed around in the past. Laurie said that she has never had sex with KC before. KC said that's true but she did blow him. Howard wanted to fly all three of them in so they could take lie detector tests. KC went on to say that he got Laurie's pants off that night and as soon as Laurie heard that she flipped out.
Bobo called in and said that KC has to be delusional because he's actually believing Laurie's story. KC got back to the story and said that he got her pants off and there was this odor... Laurie said that he's obviously just doing this for radio. He said that this has happened to him before but not with Laurie.
KC said that he was upset that Howard wouldn't let him tell his side of the story. Howard said he wanted to hear it but Laurie and Jessica were talking over him a bit. KC got back to his story and said that after he caught the smell, he figured he had to get out of there. Then she showed him this little shrine he had of Howard and his daughter. Howard wondered how she would have something like that. Laurie said that she has a folder of pictures of Howard and Jessica but nothing of Howard's daughter... and she has no shrine.
Howard said this was all getting silly. KC said that he paid Laurie back and got his watch back on Wednesday. Howard took a call from a guy who said that this was all bullshit and they should move on. Howard figured they'd be hearing more news stories on Howard 100 News about this whole thing. Howard asked Jessica if she will ever give KC another hand job. She said she'll never do that again. Howard was ready to move on so he said if KC is telling the truth, he's sorry to hear this. KC said he's kind of disappointed that Howard would put her on the line without checking with him first. Howard said he can't have him on without having Laurie give her side of the story.
KC claims that he didn't leave his watch there as collateral, he left it there because Laurie's pussy stunk. He said that he took it off so Laurie could take pictures of it. Laurie said that the batteries were dead in it but he was still wearing it over to her home. Laurie said she also learned that KC owes Joey Boots $60 that he borrowed from him a couple of years ago. KC said that might be true but this story is true as well.
Howard asked KC how his DVD is coming along. He said that the DVD is at the editor right now so it's coming along just fine. Howard played some of the KC song parodies that Richard Christy created. KC said that Richard is brilliant as all of the homo songs were playing. Howard gave KC a plug for his Nasty Show that will be at Ha Ha's out in California.
Ralph called in and said he can't wait to hang with KC because he's like a walking reality show. Howard said that the In Demand guys should be following him around. Ralph asked KC when he was supposed to pay Laurie back. He said he wasn't going to have money until Monday but he didn't pay her back until Wednesday. Ralph wanted to know why Laurie was calling Howard 100 News about this if she didn't want some publicity. Laurie said she really wanted the money back and she needed it by that Wednesday because her rent was due. We also learned that Laurie loaned KC $280, not the $300 that the Howard 100 News reported.
Howard wrapped up with KC and gave him some plugs. You can purchase his DVD at DieLaughingDVD.com. KC said that he was willing to swear on anything that his side of the story was true. He swore on his mother that he got a hand job from Jessica. Howard asked him where he blew his load. He said he didn't finish, she was just messing around with his balls. Jessica said she was willing to swear on anything as well. Laurie had hung up by this point because she was so upset. KC and Jessica continued to argue a bit but Howard cut them off and let them off the phone.
Howard said that he would like Jessica and Laurie to come in and ride the Sybian. Robin suggested they have a People's Court thing with the three of them. It was pretty crazy according to Howard.
Artie said that he believes KC's story and that he's the kind of guy who can get a hand job from some older women. Gary said that most of the guys in the back don't believe a word KC was saying. He also said they were watching Artie during that call and he kept rolling his eyes when he was telling his side of the story. Gary wasn't sure what he believed. Gary said that it sounded reasonable when KC was telling him all of the details in private on the phone last week.
Jason came in and said that he doesn't know Jessica or Laurie but he knows that KC lies a lot and he's not sure if he believes that story. Artie said that he hung out with KC for 3 years on the road and he knows that he didn't like about pussy back then. Will came in and said that KC talking about Laurie's pussy smelling was a low blow and a big F-You to her.
Howard got back to George Flowers who said that SIRIUS Canada is putting Howard on the air up there but they're not doing much promotion. They'll be talking about that during today's news. Howard took a call from a Canadian who said he's listening up there but he's got a U.S. version of SIRIUS. The guy said that he's part of the grey market up there listening to the show. Howard let him go a short time later and George finished up his discussion about what was coming up at noon and mentioned that they covered the Lingerie Bowl yesterday.
Howard played some audio of Gary Garver interviewing Jenny McCarthy at the Lingerie Bowl. He asked her about the Jenna Jameson stories that we heard last week. Jenny said she's saving most of that stuff for when she does Howard's show. Jenny said that she doesn't think of doing another woman as cheating if she's married to a man. Jenny refused to answer some of his questions about Jenna because she's saving it all for Howard. Howard said that just thinking about Jenny and Jenna fingering each other is so hot.
Howard asked the guys if anyone watched the Lingerie Bowl. No one there watched it. Howard had seen the first one but it didn't do anything for him so he hasn't watched it since then. Robin said she heard that Jim McMahon was one of the coaches in the Lingerie Bowl so she wondered what kind of agent that guy has. Howard said he watched the first one because Angie Everhart was in that one and he had dated her before that. He thought she took it too seriously because it was a lingerie show.
Jon Hein gave Howard a preview of what they had coming up on The Wrap Up Show after his show. They're going to talk about the Dave Chappelle discussion they had earlier in the morning. They'll also be talking about Jessica Hahn and what went on with KC. They'll also be talking about the Bar Mitzvah thing they were talking about earlier and how Howard decides on what to go to and what not to go to. They'll also be talking about who there is actually a real sports fan on the show. Howard said that Artie and Gary are. He said he's really not into sports as much as those guys but he does enjoy watching football and basketball now and then.
Ackerman said that the flag only flew for about 30 seconds but it did fly there. He gave Howard a certification letter that said the flag was flown and it was in honor of Howard's debut on SIRIUS Satellite Radio. He and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about politicians and what kind of money they make. Ackerman was saying that it's really tough because you have to have two residences, one in your district and one in Washington DC. Howard wondered if that's why there are so many corrupt politicians because they have to make money somehow.
Howard asked Ackerman what one thing he would do if he could have a lot of control in Congress. He said that he would get rid of the religious right fanatics. He said that they are just like the Taliban and they demand things relating to religion that's just like the way the Taliban demands things.
Ackerman said that he was in the Middle East recently and spent some time over in Israel. He didn't go visit Iraq while he was there though. That led to Howard and Ackerman talking about what's going on over in some of those countries over there. Ackerman was telling Howard about the lies that came down during the Iraq war planning and how they are looking into impeaching President Bush. He said he believes that the lies could lead to an impeachable offense.
Howard and Ackerman were getting a little serious for a short time so Howard broke that up by asking Ackerman which Congresswoman was the most attractive. Ackerman didn't want to get himself in trouble so he didn't give them an answer. Ackerman thanked Howard for what he's doing and letting people choose to listen to the trash that he transmits if they want to hear it. He said that it's great that Howard can do the show the way he wants to and that people can choose to listen to it if they want.
Gary said that he was talking to Ackerman out in the green room and learned that he and Howard have very similar fans. Ackerman gets letters from people who are in jail and claim that they're in there even though they're innocent. They also get letters from people who think that they're being followed by aliens.
Howard started to wrap up with Ackerman and said that he is a 12 term Congressman who has been in office since 1983. He went to break a short time later.
Howard mentioned that there will be a memorial service for Barry Cowsill who died during Hurricane Katrina. He was missing for a while and now they're going to be holding the memorial service for him. Howard said that Barry has been on the show in the past with his family which had band called The Cowsills. He said you can find more information at Cowsill.com.
Howard and Artie reminisced about the time they went to see Siegfried and Roy out in Vegas one year. They talked about how wacky that was. That led to them talking about the awful cartoon they made created around those two. Artie had a friend who was working on that cartoon and he heard that they were holding read-throughs at Spago, that's how much money was being pumped into that show.
Howard said he sent a message to someone the other day and got an auto response back from the person's e-mail that said the person was away for a certain amount of time. Howard figures that's the best way to get your house robbed and can't believe that people are that trusting that they'd tell everyone that they're on vacation.
A caller told Howard he enjoyed Danny's show while he was there. Howard said he liked it as well. Gary came in and said that he heard that Danny put a match in the end of his penis and lit it. Howard said he heard Danny talking about how he tried taking a ruffie one time on his show and tried walking down a street. People had to bet on when he would pass out on the street. He eventually passed out and woke up in the hospital the next day. That's when Danny believed that there is such a thing as date rape.
Howard also said that Danny did a show where he was caned after hearing the story about the American kid over in Thailand who was getting caned. Danny figured it couldn't hurt that bad so he had a guy do it to him. The first whack took skin off of his ass and blood was running down into his boot.
Robin heard a story on Danny's show where he talked about almost getting shot by a girlfriend who had pulled a gun on him and the woman who he was sleeping with. Danny said that girl is the one girl who really loved him because she tried to shoot the other girl and then tried to shoot him.
Howard got back to the discussion he was having about the replay of his show. He said that people want the show to replay in afternoon drive. Howard said that maybe the guy should buy an S50 and record it to listen later. Artie said that some people assumed that one channel was going to be constant replays of his show all day long. Howard said he wasn't thinking in that way and was thinking in a traditional way. Now he's thinking that maybe they should have one channel dedicated to doing that. He said they don't really have to worry about when people listen to the show, as long as they're listening at some point.
Howard had taken a call from a guy who asked about some of the other shows that are airing on Howard 100. Howard said there's a lot of stuff going on with his channels. They have a lot of programs in the works that will be coming up soon.
The caller told Howard that he was the guy who sent him some 3D glasses that he needed to watch the show ''Medium'' in 3D. Howard said that the 3D effect in that show was the biggest waste of time and it really turned him off to the show. He said he got so pissed off that he threw out the glasses and stopped watching the show. That led to the guys talking about Smallville a little bit. It was getting very late though so Howard told the guy he had to get going. The guy had actually directed Fred in a movie called ''Cold Hearts'' so they ended up talking about that a little bit before the guy got off the phone.
Fred was saying that he never really gets big parts in movies because all of his roles are going to Colin Farrel. Artie was saying that acting is strange because Marlon Brando was one bad movie from being the Skipper on Gilligan's Island. That led to the guys goofing around with that idea doing impressions of Brando as if he was the Skipper going off on Gilligan. Howard was trying to remember the old episodes to reenact some of the scenes. He gave up at about 10:55 and had Robin start her news. Howard and Robin ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started off the show singing along to his movie soundtrack song ''The Great American Nightmare.'' He then took a call from a guy up in New Hampshire who used to listen on WBCN when he was on regular radio. Howard remembered listening to the station when he was in college and always dreamed of being on there. He and the caller talked about some of the guys who used to broadcast on that station. Howard remembered Captain Ken Shelton who had a really deep voice and a smooth delivery. There was also a woman by the name of Lisa something. Howard said he didn't think he'd ever be anything on radio after hearing those people. He did try to get a job there but they didn't hire him.
The caller said that he's been listening for about 16 or 17 years... Then Howard cut him off and took another call. The next caller told Howard he moved to New York in 1982 and has been following him ever since. He asked what happened to Pat Cooper. Howard said that as far as he knows, he fell off a cliff. He said that Pat actually wigged out on him and he's so ungrateful. He was always obnoxious and ungrateful that he can't stand him anymore. He had Pat on the show many times in the past but he was not comfortable with people being nice to him.
Howard took another call from a guy who said the best thing he ever did was move to SIRIUS. Howard said he has no idea how happy he is. He was talking to someone the other day about that and told them that it was the smartest thing he's ever done. The caller said that he drives a truck every day and loves being able to hear the show wherever he goes. Howard said it'll be great when they finally come out with a truly portable unit.
Howard read their article that said that 86% of his fans are not going to purchase SIRIUS satellite radio. He went on to read the article that showed the results of a survey that was done with 1000 people. They claim that 86 percent aren't going to follow him over. He read deeper into it and got all worked up. Howard figures that they're really saying that 86 percent of Americans won't sign up for satellite radio. There are roughly 300 million people in the country so there could potentially be 40 million people joining them at satellite radio if you use Radio and Record's results to figure that out.
Howard went on to say that there are no entertainers out there who could potentially bring 40 million people to satellite radio. He could spin that story that way if he wanted because that's basically what the results are saying. He figures that when satellite is standard in cars, totally portable and the radios are cheaper, it will bring more and more people over.
Howard looked at the cover of Radio and Records and said it's far from truth in advertising because the person on the cover was Pink... and she looks nothing like the picture on there. He said she looks very butch in person and the picture on the magazine was far from what she looks like.
Howard said he wants an investigation of that magazine after reading that article. Robin said that if they had 40 million listeners on SIRIUS, that could make Howard even bigger than Oprah who crows about having 7 million viewers. Howard said that Oprah does things right because she's always all over the news. The guys talked about that for a minute before Howard played a new message from Daniel Carver the KKK guy.
Daniel Carver recorded a new message about the death of Coretta Scott King. He was spewing his hate as usual while a funeral dirge was playing over him. Howard said that they added the music to soften up the hate a little bit.
The caller changed subjects and told Howard that the Smallest Penis contest on Howard Stern On Demand was the funniest thing he's ever seen. Howard and the guy spent a minute talking about the show and how funny it was to see those guys showing off their tiny penises.
Howard told the caller that he doesn't even like taking time off right now but he will be doing that. He said he will be around this Friday but there will be Friday shows where Jon Hein and Gary take over. He said there will be other shows on the service that people can listen to but last night's ''Drunk Scores Girl'' show was awful. He said he had to bail out after about 10 minutes. He said that the show has potential but the one that aired last night didn't work for him. He apologized for that show because it wasn't up to his standards. He said the High Pitch Eric Crapathon was better than that. The Scores show was so bad that he didn't even need feedback about it. He said they can fix it but a lot of this stuff is experimental right now.
Howard said he asked Tim Sabean if he listened to the Scores Girl show before he put it on the air. He didn't say what Tim said to him about that. The Scores Girl show was so bad he said that he would give Robin a medal if she could last 6 minutes with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who talked about the way the old station was killing him on the air. Howard said he didn't even realize just how miserable he was over there until he moved to SIRIUS. The caller said he could tell and now he sounds great.
Last week's Caller of the Week, Paco, called in again. He said he did call into Shade 45 that day he called in but the screener kept hanging up on him. Howard was about to hang up on him but Paco told Howard that he likes the Bubba the Love Sponge Show because it shows them just how good Howard's show is. He said it's a good thing to have Bubba on because it shows the contrast between a good show and senseless trash. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Robin had Howard play some more audio of Oprah rambling on about Coretta Scott King. Howard continued to do his fake Eulogy for Artie. He then asked Artie if he's feeling pressure from Dana to get married. Artie said he never really thinks about that. They have discussed having kids but nothing about marriage. Artie said he was the one that brought up the kids. He said he's deathly afraid of long term commitments when it comes to personal things or even professional. Howard said that Artie would like to be able to get out of his contract there tomorrow if he could. Artie said he remembers thinking about how long it was going to take to go from first grade to 6th and how long it was going to take.
Artie mentioned something about going to therapy but Howard reminded him that he didn't last long with the therapist he tried last year. Howard said that people don't really take his advice when it comes to that stuff. Artie told the guys that he just stopped going to the therapist because things weren't working out for him. The guy had him on meds but he ended up weaning himself off of them instead of continuing to go to the guy. He said he hated going to the therapist so he stopped. Howard told Artie that he hates going too but he knows that it's helping him out.
Howard thinks that Artie stopped going because it's a bit of a rebellion against his suggestion to go. Artie said that's not the case. Robin thinks that it was a bit of a rebellion because he figured he had to go because Howard suggested him but he knew that he wasn't going to enjoy it. Artie told the guys that he didn't want to talk about his feelings with some stranger. He told the guys that he was sent to a therapist back when he was on MAD TV but that guy looked at him like a wacko because he started to cry. He said the guy just prescribed him some Lithium instead of talking to him because the guy was just a pill pusher. He said that bad experience may be the reason he doesn't like going.
Howard played more of the Oprah audio clips. That got him doing more of his phony eulogy about Artie. Artie said that he once had to do a eulogy for his father and it wasn't fun. Howard then started to do the eulogy as if it was Artie talking about his father. He had to take a break a short time later.
Howard said he got a package from Vinnie Favale yesterday that had little hearts all over it. It was a copy of ''Brokeback Mountain'' so Vinnie was goofing on him. Howard said that Beth had already seen the movie but didn't tell him about it. He said he was going to watch it without her since she had already seen it. He was kind of bummed out because Beth was out doing things last night and he hates to sleep alone. He said he also feels that he's being left out of something that she's enjoying so that doesn't help.
Howard said that he's always had a chick around to either blow him or help him fall asleep. He said as long as he had sex, he would be knocked out so that's why he always wanted a woman around. Last night he thought about masturbating but decided to watch ''Brokeback Mountain'' instead. Howard said he tried to watch that ''Wife Swap'' show but it was horrible. Artie said he tried watching ''The Bachelor'' and he doesn't know how Howard can stand it because it's so bad.
Howard said that ''Brokeback Mountain'' might be one of the best movies he's ever seen. There's one ass scene that doesn't last all that long. The movie is a very moving love story and he wishes that they would force the religious right fanatics to watch it to show what happens when gays are forced to remain closeted. He told Artie that he would like the movie if he saw it. Artie figures that the producers of the movie must love that Howard is giving his blessing on the movie.
Howard said the movie was so good that he couldn't turn it off. He wanted to go to sleep after that so he thought about jerking off. Artie figured he was so creeped out by it that he didn't bother. Artie said that Dana wants to go see it so he may have to go. Howard said he didn't want to masturbate after the movie because he didn't want to confuse anyone. He said that he sometimes feels like his dead aunt is watching him too. Artie said something like ''Yeah, I'm the one who needs therapy...'' Howard pointed out that Artie is the drug addict, not him. Artie said he'd rather have a problem with blow than think that his dead aunt is watching him jerk off.
Howard figured that they'd get Kendra on the Sybian since she was so drunk. Kendra came in a short time later and told Howard that she was out drinking all night. She was slurring her words a bit as she was describing what she did last night. She figured that Howard was going to tell her she has a fat ass so she had to drink. She said she had a bunch of Jager shots and some Vodka as well. Howard asked her about her boobs because they were so big. Kendra said that she wants to get them taken out because they're too big. She's only 5'1'' tall and has DD cups. Howard told her she could probably drop down a size.
Kendra asked Howard if she could have sex with him. Howard remembered the day that Kendra felt his penis in the studio when she was under his console years ago. She said she remembers that as well but she was very young back then and was afraid of doing anything else. Howard told her that she was looking really good today and that he was aroused looking at her.
Kendra did some porn years ago but she claims that she's out of the business now. She knew that she was completely wasted and told him that she met this hot guy last night who wasn't into her. She said that nothing happened with the guy.
Howard read that Kendra had spent the night with Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline one time. She said that they didn't spent the night, she just hung out with him. Kendra told Howard that she had to pee, she wasn't able to go when she was in there before coming in. Howard figured that she was so wasted that she couldn't even pee. Kendra told Howard that she and Kevin have the same group of friends so that's how she met him. She says that she didn't do anything with Kevin but did hang out with him.
Kendra swore that she didn't do anything with Kevin Federline but she was laughing so Howard figured she was lying. He reminded everyone that Kendra did give Mike Gange a blow job one time. She came on the show after that and said that Mike was bad in bed. Kendra asked for a shot of Jager so someone got one for her. Mike Gange came in a short time later and said hello to his old friend. The Jager was ready for Kendra so they gave it to her but she was rambling a bit and told Howard that she wants to rape his girlfriend. She was also saying that she wants to fist a chick.
Howard asked Mike Gange and Kendra about having sex. Kendra didn't remember doing that. Howard asked her if she had sex with Jerry Springer. She said she didn't have sex with him, he just jerked off in front of her while someone else taped it. Ronnie the Limo Driver brought in a can of Red Bull for Kendra since she wanted that to go along with the shot she had.
Howard told Kendra that she had to get on the Sybian masturbation machine. She sounded interested in having an orgasm because she claimed that she hadn't had sex in a long time. Howard asked her about her sex with Gange again so she said she didn't remember if Gange was good or not. Gary remembered the story and said that she gave Gange oral in the parking lot of a club down in Philly. Howard cut the story off and had Kendra get on the Sybian.
Howard told Kendra that he wanted to hear what she was feeling on this Sybian thing but she said she wasn't going to tell him unless she can have sex with his girlfriend. He told her that he doesn't care if she does. Kendra got on the masturbation machine but she had no idea what she was getting into. She was kind of scared by what she was seeing but hopped on it anyway. Gary controlled the machine and started her off at level 2. She thought it was kind of weird at first. Gary started turning up the power and she wasn't into it because she prefers the real thing. Then Gary turned it up even more and she started to like it.
Gary told Kendra to pull up her skirt and told her to take off her underwear. Then they had her pushing up against the thing so she could feel it on her. Gary started up the machine a short time later and turned it up to full speed within a few seconds. She wasn't doing it the right way so she wasn't feeling anything. Gary had it turned up all the way and full rotation on the second part. Kendra said she needs the real thing, not some machine. The guys told her that if she did it the right way, she would enjoy it.
Gange noticed that Kendra had cut marks all over her arms and wondered if she cut herself. Kendra said she used to do that when she was younger. She didn't want to get into that but Howard had some notes about her life and found out that she was in foster homes from the ages of 6 to 10 and got kicked out of her house at age 14. Kendra was amazed at all of the details he had about her.
Kendra said that she can't get a guy these days. Richard Christy came in and asked where Gange finished on Kendra. Gange said he used a condom when he did her but when she gave him oral, she was a ''good girl'' and swallowed.
Howard asked Kendra about being a porn star. She said the worst thing was that everyone in the business is dirty and everyone wants to do something to out do other people. She used to do anal stuff and she once did an anal gang bang. She got sidetracked when she said hello to Artie once again. Howard took some phone calls but Kendra was talking over them.
Richard asked Kendra how her muff is holding up. He asked her to show them so she did that. They saw a piercing she had so the asked her about that. Kendra said she used to like walking a lot because the piercing would rub and make it feel good. Sal came in a short time later and asked if she would be willing to play ''Guess what's in my Vagina'' but she wasn't interested in that.
Howard gave Kendra a plug for her web site but the site he gave was the wrong one. She said that it's actually KendraJadeOnline.com. She was also talking about the great house that she bought out in California. Howard asked her how much she would charge when she was banging guys at the Bunny Ranch. She wasn't talking and kept getting sidetracked talking to Robin and the other people in the studio. She was really into Robin and wanted to do her. She got up and pressed her boobs up against the glass in her booth. Robin wasn't interested in her though.
Kendra asked Artie if she could come over and touch him while she was naked. Howard told her to go over there so Artie said ''There goes my marriage plans!'' Kendra asked Artie if her boobs felt bad. He told her that they felt the complete opposite of bad. She then used her boobs to beat Artie up for no reason at all.
Howard asked Kendra to get back on the Sybian to try and do it the right way. She hopped on and tried it out again. She said it's hard to cum when you have to pee like she did. She asked Gary to give it to her full blast so he turned the thing all the way up. She still wasn't getting into it like Jenna Jameson did recently. Howard was ready to give up on that since it wasn't working out. He gave her a plug for her web site. She knew that the interview was coming to an end and asked Howard not to get rid of her yet.
Howard asked Kendra about the last time she had sex so she told him about that. Kendra also asked Howard to bring Beth in for her and then asked if she could go in Robin's booth. Howard thanked her for coming in and told her she looks better than ever. He gave her another plug for her web site. She kept asking Howard not to let her go. Gary told her he'd give her another 10 minutes on the show if she talks about some guys she dated. Kendra said she didn't want to talk about those people.
Gary saw that they had the love letters that Kendra sent to Mike Gange but when he tried to read them, Kendra covered up his mouth and stopped him from reading them. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later and then went to break.
Howard mentioned that he saw Steve Martin on Saturday Night Live and thought it was very good. He also talked about Prince as the musical guest and thought that he sucked. He said he doesn't know when that guy started to suck but he was really bad on SNL. Howard said they have a guy on SNL who does an impression of Prince and he was really good. He's not sure who the guy was but he was impressed by his impression. He later found out that it was Fred Armisen who does the impression.
Gary came in and told Howard that he had the audio clip right where it should have been but Howard still gave him a hard time about moving it. Fred played the song which was to the tune of ''The Munsters'' theme song. They said that Al's widow will be calling the show in a little while to talk about him.
Howard said that he's a white guy and knows that you don't use anything close to that word when he's around black people. Artie said he won't use any word with an N and two Gs in it.. He won't even say Nugget around black people. The guys talked about the clip for a few minutes and how funny it was to see the teacher using that word.
Howard played a prank call that the guys made using clips of Robert De Niro from the movies ''Meet the Parents'' and ''The Untouchables.'' They had De Niro yelling at the guy who answered the phone and got him really pissed off.
Sal recently called into the Jay Thomas show and goofed on Richard Simmons. Scott Greenstein, President of Entertainment and Sports at SIRIUS, got pissed off at Sal and told him that will never happen again. It turns out the call wasn't as bad as they made it out to be.
Howard replayed the prank call for those people who hadn't heard it yet. Jay does a show on SIRIUS Stars channel 103. Sal called in and pretended to be a fat guy who lost a lot of weight. Then he started to goof on Richard by using some of the lines from the tapes that they've played on Howard's show. Richard knew it was a scam and stopped talking. Jay explained that he had no idea that it was a prank call. Richard was very upset that they were making fun of fat people but he wasn't really that upset.
Robin wondered why the executives there got so upset with Sal. Howard said they probably didn't even hear what actually happened. Artie said that the idea of Sal getting scolded is great. Gary said that Sal didn't get scolded. Gary is the one who took the scolding from Greenstein.
Howard had another clip to play where Sal and Richard took some audio clips of JD and called a toy store. Gary didn't know where the clip was located so Howard told him he should write that stuff down. Sal came in a minute late and told Gary he's a dumb fuck and he should get his shit together. Howard played the phone call where they called this toy store and used clips of JD doing his phone sex thing last week to goof on these people. Artie seemed to think that the call was pretty funny.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who was working the PDT (Scroll) because they misspelled Kendra's name. Howard wasn't sure who was working it. He said he heard that Richard Christy was out in the hall spanking Kendra calling her a dirty whore a little earlier. Gary didn't know anything about that.
Gary had Howard play some ''mystery audio'' so he could try and figure out what was going on. Howard played the clip and you hear a lot of rustling around of sheets or something with people breathing heavy. Howard knew that it was a clip from ''Brokeback Mountain'' where the guys were doing each other. Howard said it wasn't very graphic on screen, but it sure sounded graphic in the audio.
There were no hard hitting questions but it was still fun to hear Rush not hearing the questions. Howard said he hates to hear that Rush is at the Bob Hope Classic because he's such a talentless guy. He said he does speak on the radio and gets millions of listeners but he doesn't have anything to say. Howard said that the guy won't say anything negative against the President and it's not possible to agree with every single thing the guy does.
The caller also asked when the next Bob Levy Roast will be and if he can get invited. Howard said the next one will be on the 22nd of this month. Ronnie the Limo Driver will be the next person to be roasted then. Howard said he got a suggestion to do a roast of Daniel Carver but have a bunch of black comedians do the roasting. Howard said that's all up to Bob Levy since it's his roast show.
A caller told Howard that he recently read an article about some show on XM where they claimed to have done a bunch of things before Howard did them. Howard figured it was Opie and Anthony but he pointed out that they've done nothing for XM and XM must be reeling from that. He explained how XM tried to hire him but they were kind of arrogant, but not bad guys. Now when people talk about satellite radio, SIRIUS is the first one mentioned because Howard Stern is on there. He said that they show up with their little signs at every event he does to try and latch on to his popularity. He said that SIRIUS is still adding subscribers like crazy and gaining on XM. He told the caller that there is only one Howard Stern and that's it. Howard said it's hard to deal with the jealousy out there in the radio business.
Howard read some e-mail about their Super Bowl discussions. He said that some people thought they were nuts talking about some of the stuff they brought up yesterday. Artie figured that the people who were so pissed were Pittsburgh fans. Howard said he was kind of into seeing Pittsburgh win but some of those calls were kind of out there. Howard also found out that the officials can make from 25,000 to $70,000 per year in the NFL.
Howard got a note from a fan who said that they should put Joanie Laurer in the tickle chair when she comes in. Howard didn't think that would be all that sexy but hearing her laugh might be funny. Fred did his Herman Munster/Joanie Laurer laugh impression for a few seconds to demonstrate what it might sound like.
Howard couldn't believe that this guy would give money to a woman who claims to be a witch. The caller said that he gave her $500 and feels ripped off. Howard asked him how much he makes per week. He said it's about $700 a week and he's in law enforcement. Howard figures a guy in law enforcement should know better than that. The guy said that he's in the security business and does carry a gun so Robin said that they should take that gun away from him. No security officer should give up $500 to someone who claims she's a witch.
Howard said that he had Wendy the Witch on the phone but it was actually Wendy the Retard and she was sleeping. Gary the Retard was also on the line so he played the part of Gary the Warlock. Gary told the guy that he was a ''fucking retard'' when he heard that he gave that woman $500. Howard laughed his ass off when he heard that.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to this guy Charles about the money he gave away. Gary the Retard said that this guy is stupid. He also said he loves this show because he can say anything he wants to. Howard told the guy to be careful out there but Gary the Retard was still calling the guy a retard.
Howard wrapped up with the caller and played the prank call that Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard as The Flu. Gary gets all freaked out because he thinks he can catch the flu over the phone. Richard plays The Flu and Sal gives Gary some clues on how to avoid catching it. They even have him speaking a phony Spanish in a high pitched voice. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard asked Karen to clear up the age thing for them. There was a report about Al's son claiming that he wasn't as old as he said he was. Karen told Howard that Al always told her that he was 95 and everything matched each year but his SAG card has a different date on it. Howard said that maybe Al lied on the SAG card to get work as a younger man.
Howard sent Al a note last year and Karen said that Al kept the letter and the note was a very nice one. She told Robin and Howard that Al's final days were not great ones. He was very tired and needed to move on. Howard heard that he had a leg amputated. She said that he had the leg and some toes amputated on the other foot but she wasn't clear as to why it had to be removed. She thinks it may have been medication that caused clots.
Howard asked Karen if she was still having sex with Al. She didn't want to go there but said that Al was a great man. Howard said he was always shocked that she loved Al because she was so much younger than he was. Howard said that he was not a physically good looking man. She's about 30 years younger than Al and she claims that women were always throwing themselves at Al. Women found him to be cute according to Karen. She said they never had kids together but they did try. She said that Al knew how hard it was to have kids too so that may have held them back.
Karen said that Al left her a lot of money but it wasn't in the millions. She said that Al was paid very well on The Munsters and even got residuals until Ted Tuner bought the series.
Howard told Karen about the FCC rally they had an how Al yelled out ''Fuck the FCC'' back then. He said they weren't fighting for the right to use the F-word but Al's intentions were good. He also talked to Karen about how Al was a scout for basketball teams. He would scout out players on high school teams for colleges. Karen told Howard that he was great at picking talents out of high schoolers.
Howard asked Karen if she's going to be dating anytime soon. She said that won't be happening because she's still in love with Al Lewis. She said that everything is ''shut down'' right now.
Robin said that it's too bad that Al didn't get to see them with all of the freedom they have now. Karen said ''Well, that's your fault!'' but didn't elaborate. Robin and Howard said that they haven't been on there all that long so they couldn't have brought Al there.
Howard said a few more nice words about Al's comedic talents and how great he was on ''Car 54 Where Are You'' and on ''The Munsters.'' Karen thanked Howard for the nice words. Howard said that it was a tragedy that they lost Al and that he wasn't on the cover of the newspapers over the weekend. Betty Freidan took that spot over Al.
Howard asked Karen what Al's favorite sexual position was. She wasn't going to talk about that even though Howard was making her laugh. She said that she is still in mourning and thinking about that stuff still hurts. Howard asked her if she would call him ''Grandpa'' when he'd dress up for her as Grandpa Munster. She said that never happened.
Howard asked if he could take some photos over the body of Al for some press. She said it's too late and Al has already been cremated. The funeral is on Sunday. Howard told Karen that he and his father used to watch The Musters together and it was one of the rare moments that they shared something like that. Karen said that people around the world loved him. She also told Howard that this has been a rough ride grieving for her husband and she may write a book some day about how she dealt with it. She said that she's been puttering around the house but she does have a lot of family around. Howard told her that Artie says that alcohol and cocaine are the way to get around the grief.
Karen said it's like having a hole in her chest without Al around. She said she was online last night looking for some stuff about Al and she almost turned to call him to come tell her about some of the stuff that he did and had to catch herself. Howard told Karen to give them a call if there's anything they can do for her. She said she will and got off the phone.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard how much she's enjoying the show these days. She said she even enjoys the women riding the Sybian because they make her laugh.
George Flowers from Howard 100 News was there to give them a preview of what they had coming up at Noon. Howard said he heard that George got very upset when he heard the Daniel Carver stuff. He said they had him in a news report recently and he was not presented in the right light. When Howard does a report he counterbalances the hate and they weren't able to do that in the news report they did so George refused to be a part of it. Howard agrees with George on that.
George gave the guys a preview of what they had coming up on the news at Noon. He mentioned a story they had coming up and they ended up talking about Scores. Howard figures that Ronnie the Limo Driver is pissed at him for saying that the Scores show was so bad last night. Ronnie came in and said that he did what Howard asked him to do and that's what the put on. Howard said they will fix the show. Ronnie said that the music they put in was horrible and it was added by whoever produced it. Ronnie said they were in a quiet room when they did that show and he had nothing to do with it. Howard said they will rework the show and make it good.
George mentioned some of the other stories coming up on the news. They will be talking to some of the guys about the gifts that Howard has given the staff. Penny Crone will be doing her series about everyone's pet peeves about everyone else on the show. Howard said he has to get a copy of some of that stuff because he hasn't heard all of the pet peeves about Gary yet.
George said that they will be talking about the movie ''Brokeback Mountain'' and how there aren't all that many people going to see it. Howard reviewed it earlier and said that it was fantastic. Howard spent a few more minutes talking about movies that he may or may not go to see. He was saying that he really doesn't want to go see movies where there's not at least one white person in it. He said he will watch movie's with black people in them but he sometimes gets turned off by certain themes in movies. He said he has dated black people and he likes black people but certain movies turn him off. Artie said he has no problem watching black people date but he would deny them a job... He was joking of course.
The guys were talking about the racist stuff a little more so Howard asked George if he has dated a black chick. George said he wasn't going to comment but then said that he has an interracial marriage. He said that's why he had the reaction to Daniel Carver that he had. The guys asked him about how that went with his family and everything. He said that it was quite a struggle with his family. He said that he never tried to hide his interracial marriage from people. Artie said he knows what George likes because when you get a hold of some of that black tail... George told Artie to take it easy there and he was serious about that too.
Jon Hein was waiting to give them a preview of The Wrap Up Show. He said they'll be talking about Kendra Jade today. They'll also be talking about some of the most memorable drunk moments on the show. Howard thought about getting everyone to do a show where they all get drunk one day. George Flowers told Howard that he doesn't drink or smoke. Jon also told them that they'll be talking about therapy and who has done it on the show. He said they'll be talking to Sal and Richard about their phony phone calls as well.
Howard said he found the prank calls he made as a kid and he's going to go back with Scott the Engineer so they can get those ready to play on the air. Howard said one of his friends is on the tape talking about raping chicks and stuff so that was pretty shocking to him.
Howard said that his news department is doing a great job and sounding great. George said he'd put that group up against any news team in the city because he believes they are that great. Howard wrapped up with George and Jon a short time later and let them go.
Howard talked a little bit about George's not drinking or smoking. He said he's got a friend who claims he's never had a drink or used any drugs. Howard said he can't imagine not ever wanting to try that stuff. Artie said he knows some comedian friends who have been sober since 17 so they must have been doing a lot of crazy stuff back then. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard said there were some articles about his show being available up in Canada. He said that there was one woman on Howard 100 News yesterday screaming about how SIRIUS should be taken out of Canada just because Howard is available. Howard's show has to be requested and paid for but the woman still thinks they should take the service out because of that.
Howard took a call from a guy who had called in earlier in the show. The guy said that his girlfriend broke up with him because he refused to go down on her. He said he's never done that before and has no desire to do it. Howard asked him why he wouldn't do that. The caller said that she kind of smelled and he gagged when he went down there. Howard said he can't blame him if she stinks down there. He said the secret for women is to take a bath at least once a day. Robin said that some of those smells can't be fixed with just a bath though.
Artie told the caller to go call the ''Who Gives a Shit channel'' so the caller came back with ''Suck my dick Artie'' so Howard pointed out that the guy just said one of the gayest things he could. They had some fun goofing on the guy for a short time before letting him go.
Howard played the audio clip from Howard 100 News where they spoke to a woman up in Canada about Howard being on SIRIUS Canada. They haven't been promoting Howard up there and many don't know that he's even on up there. Howard said that's crazy and the guy who owns the company up there can't even mention his name. Howard said they're not even carrying Howard 101 up there, just Howard 100. He said it would be a bonus if they carried both but the Canadian Government has a bug up their ass about him. He said this is the same government that allows hard core porn clubs. They try to come across as a free thinking and liberal country but then they get really uptight when Howard Stern is on the air up there.
The Howard 100 News team interviewed a woman who said that they will eventually have to pull Howard off the air up there once the government finds out what he's doing. The woman can't believe they're even trying to bring him back to Canada. She said that they have the exact same regulations for satellite as they do with regular radio. The woman claims that it's illegal to speak the way Howard does on his show. Howard said it's kind of cool that there's so much controversy about his show and that he's an outlaw. Howard said the other channel they're banning up there is the ''Who Gives a Shit Channel'' that Artie mentioned earlier.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show at around 11:00am.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Retard first thing. She was calling in to tell Howard that she wants to be his girlfriend. She said that means that she wants to make love to him. Robin and Howard were asking her if she knew what making love was. She said she has had wet dreams about Howard and in the dream she had a retarded baby with him. She also said that Will (Murray) is their maid in the dream. Wendy said that the wet dream means that she dreams about Howard and thinks about him every day. She had no idea.
Howard asked Wendy if she really knows what it means to be his girlfriend. She said something about going out and having a good time and getting engaged. Howard has no desire to get engaged though. He told Wendy that he may turn her out and make some money with her after beating her with his shoe. She said ''okay'' to everything he suggested.
Howard thanked Wendy for a message she left for him the other day. She was singing ''Jingle Bell Rock'' for him. Howard played the voice mail where she screeched out the song karaoke style. Howard said that if anyone out there knows a retarded person, just get them a Karaoke machine, they'll love it. Wendy's song got cut off because the voice mail system ran out of time. Wendy said that she does that just for Howard and no one else.
Howard asked Wendy if she's a virgin. She claims that she is so Howard figured he'd be taking her virginity. He wondered if she even knows what that means. She said she watches the Discovery Channel so she does know what it means. She's seen babies being born on there. Howard said he'd be a really lucky man if he had Wendy as a wife. He'd have a retarded wife, a retarded baby and Wendy's mother to take care of them.
Wendy said that she sometimes gets up in the middle of the night and runs into the walls so she has to sleep with a helmet on. Artie asked her to please send them a picture of that. Howard asked Fred to play the ''Wet Dream'' educational tape that they've played before. This time it was edited with Steve Fried, the guy who played Wood Yi, playing the part of a boy who had the wet dreams. Howard asked Wendy if she now knows what wet dreams are. She said she does.
Howard asked Wendy if she knows what intercourse is. She doesn't know but she went on to tell the guys about having a kid dare her to stick a tomato up her butt so she did it. She said that the kid ripped her off for $50. She did stick the thing all the way up there and then ate it. Sal came in and told Howard that the tomato story was supposed to be her big revelation story that they were going to talk about when they do the Wack Pack Revelation Show. Wendy apologized for that, she forgot. Howard asked Wendy what the tomato tasted like. She said it tasted just like a tomato.
Wendy told Howard that she knows how to have a baby and explained how the baby comes out of a woman's pussy. Howard asked her to repeat that so she told Howard how the cock gets put in a woman, then she's pregnant, then the baby comes out her pussy.
Howard was playing some more sex-ed tapes where they were talking about the different names for a penis. The people in the class were coming up with other names for a penis. Howard went on to ask Wendy how far she's gone with a guy. She said she's gotten as far as a kiss, that's it. Howard told Wendy that he likes to hear her singing Karaoke style so they played some of the performances they have of her singing along to songs like Cindy Lauper's ''Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.'' Wendy said she wants to make a new song called ''Robin Just Wants to be Gay'' to the tune of that song.
Robin asked Wendy what she does when she's playing with herself. She said she uses some vegetables when she's doing that stuff. We also learned that Wendy is up to almost 200 pounds. She said she should hit the magic 200 mark today when she orders up some pizza.
Wendy told Howard that a friend of hers is in a coma and wants Howard to help her. Howard told Wendy that her friend may just be avoiding her. Wendy said that she heard her friends talking about her friend Brandy being in the hospital and she wants to help her. Howard told Wendy not to worry about it and he's sure she'll be fine. He said that he would probably pretend to be in a coma if he knew Wendy was coming to visit him. Wendy didn't even know what a coma was. Howard told her it's kind of like the way Fred sits around and doesn't say anything on the show. Fred woke up and said some things to Howard so he suggested to Wendy that she just go irritate her friend in the hospital and maybe she'll wake up.
Wendy told Howard that there was another boy who once asked her to do something strange. She said that the boy asked her to get a hammer to beat up another boy but she refused to do it. Howard wrapped up with Wendy a short time later and tried to get off the phone. Wendy asked Howard for an S50 tuner so she could save the shows. Howard said he would look into getting her one. He figures it'll be like in the movie ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' when the apes see the monolith. She'll probably get it and start banging on it trying to figure out how to make it work. They went to break right after that.
After the break we heard a penis enlargement audio clip where the guy suggested lifting things to help enlarge it. Howard then asked Robin what Connie Chung and Maurey Povich are up to these days. He got distracted by some noise coming from Robin's news room so he asked her to unplug a printer in there to make it stop.
Howard said that he had some audio of Connie Chung reading a letter to him on her TV show. He thought it sounded kind of strange so he played it for Robin and the guys. She was asking him to reveal more of himself on his new radio show but it was read in a very creepy way. Robin said that she seems to be a little loopy these days. Howard said that she's with Maurey so of course she's loopy.
Howard had a song playing when they came back from break earlier where a guy was singing about running into some dingleberries with a woman. He said the guy who sang the song was Biker Joe Warren.
Howard said he saw a picture of Nicole Richie and Steve O out on a date so it might be time to get Steve back on the show to talk about that. He said that Kenneth Keith Kallenbach was just a few stunts away from being just like Steve O and banging women like Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie. His time may have passed though.
Howard said he missed American Idol last night but he heard about some of the stuff that went on. He was busy watching Monday night's ''The Bachelor'' last night instead of watching American Idol. He said that American Idol seems to attract effeminate men. He played a clip of a guy singing like Cher. Simon Cowell told the guy he should be a female impersonator and the guy got all offended. Artie was laughing his ass off as Howard was playing the clip. The contestant was bragging about the way he sings but the judges weren't impressed.
Simon suggested that the guy should be a female impersonator but the guy has no desire to do that. The contestant said he's not going to do that. Randy and Paula were backing the guy up when he was standing up to Simon.
Howard played another clip of a woman who sings and plays basketball. Howard heard that she was pretty hot too. Sal came in and said that he hadn't cleaned himself up yet because Gary dragged him out of the bathroom. He said that he still had ''people waiting'' to unload. Howard asked him what kind of makeup he wears since Beth wanted to know. Sal said that it's Paul Orndorf make up and he doesn't wear it every day. Howard sent Sal back to the bathroom so he could play more of the American Idol clips.
Howard played a clip of this woman Aila Brown singing. He said that maybe they should just put her through because they need some hot chicks on the show. Howard had another clip of a white rapper trying to sing but that was pretty horrible. There was another woman who was singing a rock song in an Opera style. That was horrible too. Howard played a few more clips where some people attempted to sing but just sucked.
Howard said that American Idol is such an easy show to produce but it turns out to be great. He also said that he was doing stuff like that on radio many years ago but never thought about putting it on TV. He was talking about how he gets bored with stuff and always moves on to other things. They had to go to break after that.
Howard said that he almost had a fantasy come true this week. Beth was out at some fashion show and ran into Jenna Jameson. She took a picture with her but nothing else. He said that would be so great if Jenna and Beth hooked up. He said Beth thought she was kind of short but cute.
Richard Christy came in to explain himself to Robin. He said that he's really into Robin and would love to have her as a conquest. He said there are many sexy things about her. Robin said that one day he asked her if he could bring a date to a party she was holding. She asked him what kind of skank he was going to show up with. Richard didn't have a date so he figured he might find someone. He said he did have some chick send him her lingerie the other day and she was pretty hot.
Robin told Howard that he should get her some flowers or something too. Howard said that he's already got that lined up through Pro Flowers since they're a sponsor of his. Howard said that the jewelry came from De Beers. He got her a thumb ring and the necklace. Howard was afraid that the news team was going to start calling around to find out exactly what he got for her. He didn't want to get into that with them. He said he's tired of hearing them talking about everything he does on Howard 100 News.
Howard said that Beth was out with her aunt shopping for rings and that's when she found this thumb ring she liked. He said they've been together for 6 years now so he thought she deserved it. Artie said that he got his girlfriend a nice gift from Tiffany last year but he's not sure what he's getting this year. Howard said he heard that Artie was going to get her a good looking male escort.
Lisa told Howard that Penny Crone will be doing more of her series on the pet peeves everyone has about other people on the show. Howard let Lisa go after that so he could move on to more stuff.
In the first call we hear Howard asked a pharmacist if he had LSD and then asked for a box of Trojans in size 34. The guy on the phone asked them if they wanted some Prince Albert in a can too. He was actually coming back with some funny lines asking the kids what else they wanted in their mouth. Howard had to dump out of one part of the call because Scott the Engineer didn't cut out something he asked him to. Scott came in but Howard told him that was the one thing he didn't want in there. He said it's a good thing he put that delay button in the studio. Scott said he thought that he had cut that out and apologized for it. Howard said he's going to have to go to someone else when he wants something like that.
Howard said that Scott really infuriates him. He's just as bad at SIRIUS as he was at the old place. Howard got back to the prank calls and said that none of them were really all that good. Gary came in and told Howard that they had a bunch of stuff on the schedule today so Howard may want to move on.
Howard had Gary bring Scott the Engineer back in because he felt bad for calling him a fucking retard. He said he felt guilty about what he did but it really upsets him when that stuff happens. Scott apologized again and admitted he made a mistake. He should have realized that he didn't listen close enough to it because he was trying to equalize the sound and not paying attention to the content.
Howard thought that it was big of him to apologize to Scott. Robin said that Artie was saying on the Wrap Up Show yesterday that he didn't see any progress with Howard's therapy but this is the kind of thing that Howard used to freak out about. Artie said he didn't know Howard personally until just 5 years ago so he didn't know how he was before then.
Fred the Elephant Boy came in a short time later. Fred told Howard how great it is to be up there. Howard said that they have some great stories about Fred and now they can talk about them in detail. He remembered the day he had crapped his pants when he went to visit Gary at an appearance one time. They also remembered the days when Fred was into the gay stuff.
Fred was telling Howard about how that gay stuff broke up his relationship with his girlfriend Mary for a while. He said that he went as far as to take some anal a few times. He said he wasn't into it all that much though. Fred said there are better things than taking it there. He said the guys he was with were usually older guys. He felt that he wanted to get out and experiment because he was very lonely. Artie told Fred that he's never been that lonely.
Artie asked Fred what it's like to have an elderly, thick cock in his ass. Howard didn't give him a chance to answer. He asked him how he would hook up with the guys with that speech impediment he has. Fred said it was tough and some guys would hang up as soon as he said ''Hello'' on the phone.
Howard asked Fred how old the first guy was when he first had anal. Fred said he was in his late 40s, early 50s. He said it was many years ago... Howard cut him off and said that it's kind of sad that he was so lonely that he went that way. Howard said that it doesn't really sound like experimenting to him though, it sounds more like hard core gay sex. Artie said it doesn't sound like Fred is gay, it sounds more like the guy who was fucking him was gay.
Fred brought up the scene from the Howard Stern On Demand movie ''Supertwink'' that he did with him. Artie played a plumber plunging a gerbil out of his ass. Howard heard that Fred went up to Artie and told him that he's not gay. Fred didn't remember that but Artie does.
Fred told Howard that when he hooked up with his first gay guy, they both knew what they wanted and got right into it after going to a coffee shop. The guy lived in the city at the time. As he was telling the story Artie was laughing his ass off and goofing on Fred. Howard tried to get more details out of him and found out that he had gone to a coffee shop and had a snack. Fred said he had to explain to the guy why he speaks the way he does.
Howard asked Fred to describe the guy he was with. Fred said the guy was slightly overweight and had a moustache. it was mostly grey and close to white. It was so long ago he didn't remember every detail. He said the guy kissed him but he wasn't a good kisser. He said he remembers him using too much tongue. They went to the bathroom and started to undress each other. Howard asked Fred if the guy flipped him over or if he gave him a hand job. Fred said the guy was gentle with him and went down on him. He doesn't remember if the guy was bigger in the pants than he was.
Howard told Fred that he's booked for the next two weeks because this is fascinating. He and Artie asked him some more questions about how the guy banged him. Fred said that the guy put him on his back on the bed and then lubed him up so he could do him. He then put on a rubber and entered him. Fred said it didn't feel all that great. He said that the guy had pleasured him before that so he was already done. The guy probably spent about 5 or 10 minutes back there.
Howard wanted to know what Fred sounded like while the guy was doing him. Fred said that he should play the clip from Supertwink to hear what he sounds like. Howard was just about done asking questions about all of that stuff. He was starting to get disgusted. A phone caller said this is the first time he wished they were back on terrestrial radio so they couldn't talk about this stuff. He also asked if Fred was going to get on the Sybian. Fred had no idea what it was because he just bought his SIRIUS radio this past weekend. He hasn't been listening for the past month.
Gary came in and told the guys that he saw a scene from a movie where Fred was pleasuring himself with a dildo in the ass. The movie was actually pulled from the market and it's no longer available. Fred said he didn't know that it was going to be sold on the internet at the time so he had to pull it. His girlfriend had helped him make it but she had second thoughts about putting it out so they stopped.
Howard asked Fred how many guys he had after that first one. Fred said it was probably about 10 or so. Gary asked him if he ever thinks about having it again. Fred said that he does think about it but he doesn't act on it. He said that things are much better with his girlfriend so he doesn't feel that urge so much. The last time he had a man was more than a year ago. That guy was found on the internet, the same way guys find women. He went to have sex at the other guy's place. Gary asked him if he's afraid of going to other guy's houses. Fred said that he does feel that way and that's why he tries to suppress his urges.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he just got done with his 13 hour shift but he can't turn off his radio hearing about this stuff. Howard told him to hold on for the next story which was about the time he showed up with crap in his pants to an appearance Gary made.
Fred said that there was one time that he was with a guy who smelled so bad that he had to bail out on the 'date.' He also said that he has never had a good looking man. Robin had asked him the question and he didn't hesitate to say ''no.'' Fred said that he has never put his penis in another man. Howard asked him if any of the guys have ever had a lot of mudd on their helmets after doing him. He said he never looked so he wouldn't know. It was mutual disgust between Fred and the guys he was with.
Howard said they had a lot of stuff to get to so they had to tell this story quickly. Gary said that he did an appearance at a car dealer last year. He was in the parking lot and smelled something really bad out there. He said he kept asking the guys who were there with him what the smell was. One woman told him that the smell may have been coming from Fred the Elephant Boy. They saw stains on his shorts and socks. Gary said he found that hard to believe but it turns out that's what had happened. Fred was on his way to the event and couldn't hold it in anymore. He said he shit his pants when he got off the subway. Howard said there's no way he would ever show up to an appearance if he shit his pants. Gary said that he stayed there for a good hour and 20 minutes and the smell would waft around and hit him as he was standing there.
Fred claims that he tried to clean himself up in the car dealer bathroom. Howard said that he wanted to welcome everyone in Canada since they had never heard this story before. Fred said that he had diarrhea that day and he couldn't stop it from coming down his leg that day. Gary said that Fred is a close talker and would back him up against the fence at the dealer but he still didn't realize that the smell was coming from Fred.
Gary wondered what took Fred so long to realize that he should leave the event. Fred said he wanted to enjoy the festivities. He didn't know that he smelled so bad because he thought that he had cleaned up enough. Howard played some audio from the 'Supertwink' movie where Fred was moaning but he didn't have a short version of it. He bailed out after hearing about 3 seconds of the movie.
Howard took some phone calls and let some people talk to Fred. Jessica Hahn called in and told Howard that if Fred gets on the Sybian, she's never getting on that thing. Fred wasn't going to get on it so she had nothing to worry about. Howard wrapped up after that and went to break.
Howard started off asking the guy if he's gay. The guy said ''no.'' Robin said she figured it out and said she knew exactly what's going on. She said that this is a guy who was a woman. She was right, the guy had a sex change from a woman to a man. Howard said he wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. He has arms bigger than any guy at his gym.
Gary said the guy's name is Buck Angel (BuckAngel.com) and they have to talk about what's going on in his pants. He still has a vagina but he's legally a man. He said that he had a legal sex change but still has a vagina. Howard wondered how that happens. Buck said that he has a driver's license says that he's a man. He had chest surgery to remove his breasts and that was considered having a sex change. He looks like a dude according to Howard. The moustache took about 10 years to grow though.
Robin asked if there is something else they should know. Buck said that she's actually a porn star. Howard got a picture of him when he was still a woman and he said that she was hot. Buck said that he was a professional model. Robin said she had an Annie Lennox look when she was a woman.
Robin told Howard that this is the person who was kind of involved with one of the Wachowski brothers, the directors of The Matrix. One of the brothers may have gone thorough a 'sex reassignment' procedure and Buck got tied up in all of that somehow. Howard explained it but it's all very confusing with the sex changes, wives and wacky stories.
Benjy asked Buck if they could see him with his pants off. Artie didn't want to look but Howard told him it was okay to look because it was a chick. Howard saw it and sounded as if he were in pain when he saw it. It was a big man vagina according to Buck and it grew big because of the testosterone that he took. Howard told him he was a hot chick and he doesn't know what he did to himself.
Buck said that he is a porn star and he gets fucked on film. Fred asked him if he still gets periods. He doesn't get periods anymore because of the testosterone he took. Howard told Buck that he is a gay woman and it doesn't matter how much of a moustache he has, he's got a vagina and he's a woman. Buck said that he did think about getting a penis but the surgery would suck and it wouldn't be a real penis.
Howard asked Buck if he wanted to get on the Sybian female masturbation machine. Artie wasn't sure what to do, cheer or sigh. He told Howard that he's going to weigh about 140 pounds by next month because he's not going to eat anymore after this. Howard wasn't sure he wanted to see that but the TV guys might want it for the TV show. Howard invited Buck to hop on so that's just what he did. He was more than willing to take a ride on the thing.
Howard told Buck that the toy that was installed on the machine was brand new and clean. Howard demanded that Gary come in and watch this if everyone else has to watch. Gary is also the person who controls the speed of the machine. There was a lot of guys going ''Oh!'' and sighing when they saw Buck get on the machine. Howard had Gary start it up and Buck was liking it right from the start. Gary had it on about 20% power so Howard told him to turn it up. Buck was handling it just fine.
Gary notched it up until Buck told him to just turn it up all the way. It sounded like a lawn mower going. Buck then said that he squirted a little bit. Everyone was going 'Ohhhhh!' when they heard that. Gary said that was probably one of the gayest things they've done on the show. Will said something really smelled bad and he was gagging when he caught a whiff of it. Gary wondered where Sal and Richard were. They were no where to be found.
Gary said he had no idea that Buck was going to ride the Sybian today. Buck said he didn't know it either. Howard said that he never wants to see the Sybian again after seeing this. Mike Gange said that the toy on the Sybian was wet and it was kind of gross. Will said there was a puddle at the bottom of it.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Buck sits or stands when he pees. Buck said he chooses to sit but he can stand. Another guy said that this was incredible and his stomach jumped sideways on that one. Sal came in and asked if Buck would piss in a bucket for them. Howard told him to get out of there with that. Another guy said that this was what satellite radio is all about. Howard told Buck it was hard to watch. He said he had enough of this stuff and wrapped up a little while later. Gary said Howard looked kind of shaken up. Howard told him that it did take a lot out of him. Howard gave Buck a couple of plugs, let him go and then tried to recover.
Howard said that he has to get a hot chick on the Sybian to erase that memory from his mind. He said he wanted to hang himself after that. Tomorrow they have some Penthouse girls coming in so that should help erase it from his mind.
Howard was told that Richard Christy would be willing to pull the fake penis off of the Sybian if they gave him $10,000. Richard came in and told them that he wouldn't have sex with Buck though. Howard and the guys said that whole thing was crazy. Doug Goodstein is the one who came up with the idea to put him on that thing but he told Howard he had second thoughts as soon as he heard him make the offer. He said he had to turn off his monitor on the close ups because he was dry heaving as he watched. Howard went to break after that.
During the break Howard mentioned that they have a picture up on HowardStern.com where Will looks like he's about to puke as he's watching Buck Angel.
Howard said that he hasn't had Dee on the show for around 5 years. Dee said it was actually 1998 that he was last on the show. Howard said that he and Dee were good friends back then and they would hang out off the air and on the air. He said that he hasn't really talked to Dee all that much over the past 5 years. He said that he already talked about this on last week's The Friday Show but he would get into it again.
Howard said that Dee was offered a radio show up in Hartford where he'd be competing against him in the mornings. He said that he told Dee to go ahead and do it but he was really thinking that it sucks because he was going to have to go into competitive mode against him. He has a sickness where he isn't willing to share his audience with anyone. Dee was going to be competing there so he felt he had to battle Dee's show.
Robin said that she remembers seeing Howard almost get ready to really go after Dee but he would always reel himself in. Dee said that was even more confusing to him than if Howard had come after him. He said that he remembers Howard trying to help him get into radio at K-Rock so it was a surprise that he stopped calling him after he actually did get a job in radio.
Howard said he's not confrontational off the air so he never said anything to Dee about taking that job. Dee said that he felt odd about the whole thing too but he was in a bad place economically and he needed that break. The Twisted Sister thing fell apart and he ran through all of that money. Howard said he felt for Dee but he wasn't going to encourage the friendship because he didn't want Dee going up against them and do a great job. He said he doesn't praise his competitors or hang out with them. That's why he stopped talking to Dee. Dee said that when Howard didn't come after him he got really confused. He thought Howard was cool with him taking that job.
Howard said that he told Gary last week that it really wasn't fair to Dee because he never told him that he had a problem with him taking that job. Howard said he doesn't feel that good about himself inside that he can let someone try to take his spot in radio. He believes he's entitled to every listener and he doesn't feel gracious to anyone who competes against him. Howard was also afraid that Dee would be syndicating into other markets and diluting his listeners even more.
Dee said that on Friday it was like a therapy session. He heard The Friday Show where Gary and Ralph were taking his side in the whole thing. He said that Howard was being very honest about what he was talking about and it was very revealing. Dee said he never thought about what Howard needed from that situation, he just wanted that okay from him to do the show and that's what he got.
Howard compared their situation to Johnny Carson and Joan Rivers' situation. He said he understands why Johnny was upset about Joan taking a job doing a show against his. Artie said that Howard always said he hated Johnny for that but Howard said it wasn't about that,it was about how Johnny never forgave her for what she did.
Howard said that Dee eventually moved to Philadelphia and did nights at WMMR so things kind of worked out. He still had a job and Howard didn't have to compete against him. He said he never talked about this on the air or with Dee so this is all coming out today. Dee said that he has been asked by fans for years when he was going to go back on the show. Howard told him that he felt he gave Dee a forum to shine on and he was afraid that he was going to use that to go up against him in radio.
Robin told Dee that he never thought about taking another job in the afternoons or evenings instead of going up directly against Howard Stern. Dee said that the pay in the mornings is great and that's why he was going to go there. Howard said he told Dee's wife that he just couldn't be friends with someone he competes against. Dee said that it really hurt a lot when Howard stopped being so supportive. He said that Howard was very supportive before he took that job because no one else was doing that for him. He said that Howard encouraged him and it hurt him so much when he stopped talking to him. He apologized to Howard for taking that job because he didn't know what it was doing to Howard.
Howard told Dee that it's okay with him because if he had told him not to take the job, it would have meant more guilt for him. Howard tried to get Dee a job at K-Rock and other stations and he just couldn't do it so that's why he took the job at the competing station. Dee said that he was inspired by Alice Cooper in the music part of his career. He said that he just toured with the guy and he wanted to kill him on stage because that's how competitive he is. That's the way the radio business is to him as well.
Howard knows that he didn't communicate with Dee about how he was feeling but he thought that Dee would have figured it out. Dee said he really didn't know that's what he was feeling. Robin thinks that Dee would have kept eating away at Howard's audience if he had become huge in the business. Howard doesn't believe that would have happened but Dee said he would have kept it up. Robin told Dee that she doesn't believe that he didn't know why Howard stopped talking to him. He swears that's true.
Dee also said he has to apologize to Ralph because he thought that it was Ralph who was undermining his friendship. He now knows that it must have been Robin. Robin said she didn't have anything to do with it either, it was all about Howard. Howard said that it's an insult to him even when one of his listeners doesn't follow him to satellite. He said that's how deep this stuff runs with him.
Robin said she still doesn't believe that Dee didn't know why Howard stopped talking to him. Howard asked him if he ever thought about becoming a huge radio star and pulling his audience away from him in Hartford. Dee said he thought that he could be a big star. He said that when he went into Hartford, Howard was huge with a 28 share and by the time he left, he was down a bit and Dee's show was up to a 12 share. Howard said he never heard that and wanted the facts.
Ralph called in and asked Howard to have Jason take a photograph of Dee's tattoo which has some Latin writing on it. Howard said they want to use that to pick a font for something they're working on for the news team. Ralph told Dee that Howard really did struggle with this whole thing back when Dee took that job. Ralph also said that Dee is a trustworthy guy but he figures he had to have figured out why Howard stopped talking to him. Dee still insists that he didn't know why but maybe he just didn't want to see what was going on there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he went to one of Howard's birthday parties one time and when he went into the bathroom, Dee was in there and told him not to look at his cock. He wondered if Dee is gay or just a jerk. Dee said that he's both. He doesn't remember ever doing that to anyone though. That led to Howard talking about how Dee's wife used to complain to him about how big Dee's penis was and how it was actually a problem for her because he was too big. Howard asked her if she's still having that problem. Dee said he's pretty sure she's over that because they've been together for 30 years now.
Another phone caller told Howard that Donald Trump once said that he could no longer be friends with Martha Stewart after she got her ''Apprentice'' show so he understands where Howard is coming from. The caller also asked Howard if Dee could work there at SIRIUS. Howard said he's not sure that Dee would want to do that. Dee said that he's already spoken to Tim Sabean about doing something but now he wants to make sure he has Howard's blessing.
Howard told the caller that Dee was actually replaced by Bubba the Love Sponge up in Hartford and Bubba was trashing Dee like crazy. He was also bashing Howard and now Bubba is working on Howard 101. Howard said he never really had a problem with Bubba though. He couldn't be Dee's friend either but that's the way he operates.
Howard and Dee were singing to each other as friends who grew apart as Fred was playing some music in the back ground. Dee said that he just found out he has a polyp that he has to have removed. Howard also read that Dee has a son who is 23 years old now. Dee said that he's been doing a lot of TV and playing in a rock band. He's also engaged to a girl he's been with since high school.
Artie said that Dee was always a great guest on the show and he remembers listening with his friends. He said he was being serious about that too. Howard said that's why he used to have Dee on so often, he was a great guest. Howard asked Dee if he would do the same thing now if he knew the outcome. Dee said he would not now that he knows how Howard felt about it. Robin doesn't believe that, she thinks he would do it all over again.
Dee had Howard reenact the phone call he would make to Howard about taking the job in Hartford. Howard did it as if he would tell him that he shouldn't take the job. Dee said that he wouldn't take the job in that case. Howard said that Dee would have hated him for the rest of his life if he hadn't taken that job. Dee said he would have understood it. Dee also said that if he thought Howard was going to crush him, he wouldn't have taken the job. He thought he had Howard's blessing to take the job.
Dee said he couldn't stop thinking about Howard because he had stuck with him through so many other things. He had no idea what he had done to the guy. It really hurt him not knowing the truth all those years.
A caller asked Dee where he's working now. Dee said he's doing a syndicated show called ''House of Hair'' that he's been doing for 10 years now. He said he's also touring with Twisted Sister and a bunch of other things. Gary heard that the Twisted Sister stuff is still pretty lucrative. His son is a fan of the band because they used ''I Wanna Rock'' in the Spongebob movie.
Gary said that Sal told him that Dee had a great story about yelling at a section during a concert one time. Dee said he's got a bunch of stories like that because he gets pretty aggressive on stage. Howard remembered Dee beating up a guy at a show one time because he was being heckled. Dee said that he did this one concert where there was a section of people who were just sitting there instead of getting up and rocking like everyone else. He had them put the spotlight on the group and had the whole venue chanting at them to stand up and do something. He said he was all freaked out after the show and then someone informed him that it was the Handicapped section that he was yelling at. He felt horrible about that.
A listener called in and asked Dee what happened to his band Widowmaker. Dee said the music industry was changing around that time and bands like Nirvana were becoming big. Things didn't work out with that band but that's when the whole radio offer came about. Gary said that he remembers something about a reality show way before ''The Osbournes.'' Dee said he was going to do something like that but it would have been more like ''Everybody Loves Raymond.'' Dee said that it was Howard who suggested that they cover them just like he did with Ozzy. The Ozzy show came out before his and his show was dropped.
Ralph asked Howard if he could be more honest with Dee today than he was back then. Howard said he can't tell someone not to take a job. He wouldn't handle it any differently than he did back then.
Howard took a call from Bubba the Love Sponges producer Brent Hatley. Brent told Dee that when he left Hartford, he did not have the big ratings that he claimed he did. He said that they were much lower than he was saying they were. Dee ended up going off on Brent saying that their ratings were really low too and that's why the station dumped them and flipped formats. Brent told Dee that he has no idea how numbers are figured out. Dee told him he didn't want to discuss that on the air. Brent told Dee to go fuck himself and said that he heard that Dee treated his people really poorly at the station in Hartford. The two of them went back and forth a little bit. Brent said that he would go back and look up the actual ratings and get back to Howard about that. He also told Dee that he is a fan of his movie ''Strangeland.'' He also said that he's a fan of some of Dee's other stuff but never heard his radio show. By the end of the conversation, Brent and Dee had made up and Dee said he would even call into Bubba's show.
Benjy asked Howard if he's still upset about Dee taking that job. Howard seems to be over it now. Dee wanted to know what Fred had to say because he hadn't heard a word from him yet. Dee said he thinks that Robin is out of line and he understands Howard's point of view but he should have let Dee know how he was feeling. Howard said that he would have done the same thing that Dee did if he was in that position.
Gary came in and read some ratings to Howard about Dee's ratings were higher than what Bubba had in Hartford. He read that Bubba had basically cut Dee's ratings in half when he came in. Howard crushed both of them with his 30 share.
Robin told Howard that he will never be friends with Dee again. She thinks that he gave that up when Dee took that job. Dee told Robin to shut up. She just keeps making things worse. Howard said he's not really friends with anyone. He said that maybe they can bond again in the future.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard that this Bubba the Love Sponge show is bringing down his whole organization. Howard told the guy that he enjoys Bubba's show and there are many others who enjoy it. He's not trying to sell them to his audience. He said that he believes that they do bring some value to the Howard 100 and 101 service. Howard said if he doesn't like that show there are many other shows to listen to on SIRIUS. Dee snuck in a suggested that he should be on there as well. Howard asked the guy if he would like to hear Dee doing his own show. The caller had no idea, he's never heard them before.
Howard asked Dee what he would do for a show if he worked there. Dee wasn't sure because Tim Sabean was talking to him about some crazy stuff. Howard said they're asking people to think outside of the box and not do a typical radio show. He could do a 1 hour show, a 2 hour show or anything like that. They don't have to stick to the typical radio format of four hours. Dee said he'd have to think about that because he's never had any type of offer like that before.
Dee said it will be interesting to see if their relationship can be rebuilt after all of this. Robin said it may not be impossible but it won't be easy. Artie said that their friendship would have been doomed either way because if Dee hadn't taken the job, he probably would have resented Howard all these years. Artie said that if he had taken the job in Philly that he was offered, he would have figured out why Howard stopped talking to him. Howard gave Dee a plug for his web site DeeSnider.com and wrapped up with him.
Howard said he told Fred that he shouldn't take a job at WNBC in the afternoons because he wanted him to keep working with him. Fred and Robin were arguing about what they were saying during the Dee Snider interview and Fred thought that she was being a bit ''cuntie'' about some of the stuff she was saying.
Howard took a call from a guy who saw the Howard Stern On Demand show with Double A and Beth O. He said that he didn't know that Double A was such an ugly fucker and thought that his interview with Beth was horrible. Howard said he knows that Double A isn't a radio host but he gave it a try and that's the way it came out. He gave some promotion for the On Demand show and he will be talking more about that stuff on tomorrow's show.
Howard wondered if he should give Dee a chance to do a show there at Howard 100. Artie said that he thinks the guy is great on radio so he'd love to hear him on there. Robin said that it would be fine and it wouldn't be competition.
Howard and Artie were asking Penny about whether or not she would skip town if some other news organization offered her a job. She said that she loves it there and would stay there no matter what. She said she's been screwed over by too many other people to leave this great job.
Jon Hein was in to give a preview of The Wrap Up Show. He said they'll be talking about Buck Angel and his ride on the Sybian. They're also going to try and grab Dee Snider to talk to him. They may even try to get Robin and Fred in there to battle it out some more. Elephant Boy will also be a subject for discussion as will Wendy the Retard since she was on earlier in the morning.
Steve the Intern from The Intern Show came in to give a preview of what they have coming up tonight. They'll be talking about what it's like to hang out with Ralph. The interns will also be taking phone calls and talking about a bunch of other stuff. The Intern Show airs Tuesday night's at 7pm.
Robin was giving a preview of the Grammy Awards Show that was airing tonight and Fred was having some fun playing some sound effects during some of the song previews. A couple of songs had sounds that were like doors slamming so he was playing door slamming sound effects along with the songs. Robin started her news so late that the show ran over until 11:20am.
Howard took a call first thing from a guy who thought yesterday's show was really gross. He saw some of the pictures on Howard's web site and he was grossed out by them. Howard said that they didn't get the picture of Buck Angel from when he was still a chick up on the site.
Howard said that Robin was listening to the Intern Show last night and she heard the interns talking about her and got upset when she heard some of them saying that she doesn't make eye contact with some of them. Robin isn't sure who is or isn't making eye contact with her. She tried to call in and wasn't able to get through because they don't have a hotline phone number. Howard said he does have a hotline number for Bubba's show so he called into his show last night. He said that Robin called him instead and asked him for a hotline number. They weren't able to get through because no one was around the one hotline number they do have.
Gary said that they do have to get that straightened out because they need a hotline. Gary had a beef with the Intern Show too. He said there was a former intern on the show who had complained about him threatening to fire him. Both Gary and Robin said that he would never speak to an intern like the intern claimed he did.
Howard said that he has never had a negative run in with an intern so he doesn't think that anything would come up. Robin said you'd never know if it was true or not. Gary said that they really have to listen to these shows live so they can call in and defend themselves.
Howard said that he thanked Brent for the ratings information because he never has the evidence to back up his claims. He said that Opie and Anthony once claimed that he was taken off in Canada because they didn't perform well in the ratings. That wasn't true and they did great as soon as they were put on up there. They were taken off because the government didn't like the content of the show.
That led to Howard talking about some of his other competitors who are trying to get some notice. They claim to have number one shows but they're always in areas you've never heard of. Howard said that he was number one in every demo in many markets he was in. It wasn't just one demographic that he was talking about when he was talking about some market.
Gary said that Steve Langford from Howard 100 News wants to talk to them about how Canadians just hate Americans, that's why they don't want Howard on up there. Howard said that everyone in the world seems to hate Americans right now. The guys talked about how the Canadians might say they hate us but they buy all of our magazines, watch our TV and come down here to make it as entertainers. Howard thinks that the Canadian government really hates him and he's not even sure why that is.
Robin said that the Canadians would probably love it if they could lock him up. A Canadian caller told Howard that he has been listening on and off for a long time now. He's now in the process of getting SIRIUS up there. Howard told the guy that they only offer Howard 100 up there but it's better than nothing. He also said that he's thinking about holding a press conference for Canadian press because they've been getting a lot of requests for that. They're not even promoting the show up there even though he is available now.
Robin said that they don't even have a mention on their web site for Howard. You have to click through some cryptic link on the site to actually get the show. Howard knows that there will be people up there who will try to get him off the air up there even though they have strippers up there who have full contact and full nudity and some great porn.
Artie said that he went to a strip club up in Toronto when he was shooting ''Dirty Work'' and one stripper came back to his hotel with him and blew him. He said that he gave her some of his money and figured he gave her about $1800 worth of his per diem. He didn't think it was all that much until he figured it all out when his buddy Norm Macdonald asked about it.
Howard said that Beth sometimes claims that he hurts her with his member and that his penis is too big for her. Robin said that can't be. Howard said he swears that's what she tells him. He said he always thought he was small but now he's thinking he's pretty big.
Howard and the guys talked about how disturbing it was to see Buck Angel on the show and he wanted to ban all pictures of him from the show. He doesn't want to see that anymore because it's so disturbing to him. Robin said the most disturbing thing was him on the Sybian.
A phone caller said that he almost hit somebody while driving his truck yesterday because of that Buck Angel stuff. Howard went on to talk about some of the guests they have coming up today like Richard Johnson and a couple of Penthouse Pets. They also have a guy coming in who claims that he was with Clay Aiken. Howard read an article about the guy and he sounds like a maniac. Robin said she had a lot of Grammy clips to play today. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said he had to go for a run yesterday because he has put on 11 pounds since they moved there to SIRIUS. Gary wasn't sure how that could be because he doesn't eat any junk food. Howard said that he has a set menu for each day. He explained what he eats. He hardly eats anything in the morning. He said he must be packing on the pounds when he gets home sometime after 4pm.
Howard and the guys got sidetracked a little bit while talking about Dr. John Sarno who helped Howard fix his back pain. He was on the Howard 100 News last night so they talked about his books (The Mindbody Prescription : Healing the Body, Healing the Pain and Healing Back Pain : The Mind-Body Connection) and how he might even be able to fix Fred the Elephant Boy's gayness.
Howard said that he gets home and eats a bunch of healthy stuff but it's a great quantity of that healthy stuff. He has pasta, frozen bananas and shredded wheat but he eats a ton of it. That's why he's gaining the weight. He said he weighed himself this morning and he was up to 201 1/2 pounds. That's why he had to go out for the run yesterday. Beth was telling him that he's spending a lot of time at work these days so Howard had to ask her if they had a problem there. Beth apparently said they didn't have a problem.
Howard called in Tim Sabean and asked him what's up with them doing a report like that when he asked them not to. Howard told him that he doesn't want them going after his medical records next. Tim said he will take care of that for him. Howard told him that he asked them not to go after the story and they did it anyway. Robin has the feeling that Liz Aiello is going to quit again if this happens. Howard said he'll have to send the team after her then.
Artie said that he doesn't want the news team following him around during March Madness because he might run into some people who he doesn't want to be seen with. Howard said there are some things out there he doesn't want revealed. He said he's not trying to hide anything but there are some things that they shouldn't be talking about on the air. Robin said that they shouldn't be describing the stuff that he gave to Beth and talking about how much that stuff cost. Howard said there should be some meeting of the minds on that stuff. He said he is a private person and now he's getting uncomfortable with that stuff and he's holding back on talking about stuff on the air because of that.
Howard said the money he spends on his girlfriend is something that should be kept a secret because he's embarrassed by that. Gary said that Lisa G will be there shortly to talk about what they have coming up on Howard 100 News so he can talk to her about it then. Howard said that if he asks someone not to do something, they should listen to him and not cover it.
Howard told the guys that things have gotten kind of weird for him with that Howard 100 News team. He thought that they would cover the things they do on the show, not them covering everything in his personal life outside of the show. Robin said that they do some very detailed investigative reports about Howard's personal life and it's very invasive.
Tim Sabean said that he has to start conversations out by saying ''Off the record'' because they will take anything and put it on the news. Howard said that maybe he should do a story about how much Lisa G earns for a living because he knows that she wouldn't like that.
Gary said that if Entertainment Tonight wanted to the do story, the store wouldn't talk to them but when they hear it's Howard 100 News, they will talk to them. Lisa G came in a short time later and said that she thought Howard was kidding around when he told her not to call. She also said that the store shouldn't have told them anything and she was blaming them for releasing the information. Howard said he's not comfortable with that stuff and doesn't want them reporting on stuff like that. Lisa told Howard that he has exquisite taste and she'd love to be his girlfriend. Howard said that won't happen. Tim added that she'd probably tell everyone.
Howard asked Lisa G to give him a list of what they're talking about each day so he can go through it. That's what it's coming down to now. Robin said that Howard is doing different things off the air than he is on the air so he's got some people kind of confused. Lisa said that she was kind of confused by the way Howard was joking around yesterday about not calling the store to find out more.
Liz Aiello the Howard 100 News director called in and said she feels terrible for Howard. She heard Lisa on the show yesterday and also felt kind of strange when she got the store to talk about what he bought. She said it was wrong and they're not monsters. Howard said he knows that but he is uptight about some things. She thinks that they do a good job on the news and she really thought that Howard was kidding around when he told Lisa not to call. Liz said that she doesn't want to have to submit a list of stories to him each day. Howard said he doesn't want that to happen either. Howard told her he has to figure all of that out.
Howard told Liz to investigate Tim Sabean because his wife lives 150 miles away from him. Liz said that all of the stuff they cover on the news is up to her so she's taking responsibility for that. She usually has a gut feeling for stuff like that but she didn't follow that on that story. Howard asked Liz if there are any hidden cameras in his apartment.
Liz said that when they ask people for interviews, they don't tell people that they're with Howard's show. She said that it's ''shame on them'' for the store that did give out the information. Lisa told Howard that she called the store and the woman there told her that she'd call her back. She called her back and gave her the details of how much he paid and exactly what he bought for Beth.
Robin asked Tim when they're going to get the hotline numbers set up. Tim said that they do have lines set up but everyone said that they don't work. Howard was still bummed out by the whole Howard 100 News thing. He says he's just sick over the whole thing. Now he has to be really serious when he tells someone not to talk about something on the news. Robin told him he just has to move on from there.
Howard said he has to be able to control some of the stuff on the news. He said he was having a hard time recovering from that so he was going to take a break and try to get over it.
Howard took a call from a guy who called him a hypocrite for censoring his show. Howard told the guy that he's looking at this backwards. He told the guy that this is his channel and he can do what he wants to do. He also refuses to have guests on the show, is that censoring as well? He told the guy that he censors the show 100 percent because he's making sure that the show runs smoothly. He kept calling the guy on the phone ''asshole'' because he just didn't get what he was saying.
Howard told the caller that there is a difference between outside censorship and editing of his show. He said that this is his world and he controls what is done on the show. Howard told the guy never to call again and hung up on him.
Howard introduced Nick DiPaolo and said that he's appearing at Caroline's on Broadway this weekend. He also gave him a plug for his CD ''Road Rage'' that's available through his web site NickDip.com. He told Nick he could leave now because he got his plug.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who told him that he just got satellite for Christmas and he loves it. Howard thanked him for that and then moved on to the Grammy Awards.
Howard asked if he should play some clips from the Grammy Awards. He had some audio of the Gorillaz performance which was actually a cartoon. He said that's kind of gay as he was playing the performance. Gary said that after that there were a bunch of rappers who came out and then Madonna came out and performed. The guys tried to figure out how old she is. Nick said that she's 71 and Artie said she's got to be near 50 because he's 38 and she was big when he was in high school.
Howard played some of Madonna's performance and said that's the reason he can't watch the Grammys. That stuff just bores him. Gary told Howard that the way to watch the Grammys is to TiVo it and start watching an hour into it. That way you can fast forward through it all. Howard played some of Coldplay's performance on the show and said that their problem is that all of their songs sound the same.
Gary said that U2 was doing a performance and Mary J Blige came out and started screaming during their song. Robin thought it was a mess. She said that the song was horrible when she heard her singing it. Gary said that Bono was holding her hand and singing along with her. He told Howard that he might want to hear Kelly Clarkson's performance. He said that she can obviously sing well live. Howard played that clip and really wanted to hear it. Artie and Nick were goofing on it and saying that it was very gay.
Robin said that Mariah Carey came on and gave a little speech before she sang. Howard played some of her performance but didn't have her speech. Gary had Howard forwarding to the parts that he thought he'd find entertaining. Howard asked if she's still all fat as she's been lately. Gary said that she was wearing the typical Mariah dress with her big, thick legs sticking out.
Gary told Howard about the Linkin Park/Jay-Z and Paul McCartney performance from the show. Howard played some of that where Jay-Z is rapping and then Paul McCartney comes out and sings a little bit with the guys from Linkin Park. Jay-Z just keeps saying ''That's right... Uh Huh, uh huh...'' as the Linkin Park guy and Paul are singing ''Yesterday'' together. Howard doesn't get the mashing up of songs and said that maybe they should mash up his show with Bubba's show or something like that.
Gary said that Kanye West and Jamie Foxx performed their song ''Golddigger'' with two marching bands backing them up. The crowd was going nuts but Robin said she just wanted to see another award given out at that point. They didn't use the N-word on the show either even though it's a major part of the song.
Gary had Howard play some of the acceptance speeches. First up was Kelly Clarkson crying as she accepted her award. Howard thought that was kind of inappropriate and she didn't even thank American Idol for giving her the exposure.
Howard asked if there were any other things he might want to play. Robin said she wanted to hear Paul McCartney's ''Helter Skelter'' song. Howard played a little of that and a little bit of Stevie Wonder and Alicia Keys singing together. Howard said that even sitting through these short clips was boring so he can't imagine sitting through the whole show.
Eric the Midget called in with an American Idol recap but Howard already gave him his shot at a radio show and he blew it. Robin told Eric that she's tired of him doing things on his terms. Howard hung up on him because they had Richard Johnson coming in.
Howard asked Richard about the deal he has with the NY Post for that Page Six thing. He said that he's a salaried employee but he is under contract with them. Howard asked Richard how they figure out how many papers they sell and how many are in circulation. Richard said there's an audit bureau that covers that and they should be overtaking The NY Daily News in the next few months.
Richard was also telling Howard that they don't make money with their paper because most of the advertising money for the New York papers goes to the NY Times. Advertisers seem to think that the people who read the NY Post are lower income people unlike the NY Times. He said that the ads in the Page Six magazine are pretty decent though.
Howard found out that Richard is getting married for the third time so he asked him why he's doing that. Richard said he's been practicing. He said he's not going to have a pre-nup because he doesn't really make enough to make it worthwhile. He said that he does make over $300,000 a year but didn't say exactly how much it is. Richard said the wedding is on April 8th and he's shocked that Howard hasn't gotten married again. He had a lot of pressure from his fiancee to get married but Howard isn't in that situation.
Howard figured that Richard could get any actress he wanted... if he blackmailed them. Richard said it doesn't work that way. Howard told Richard they have the guy who claims he had sex with Clay Aiken coming in to talk about that. He said the guy claims that Clay wanted him to fist him.
Howard read through some of the stories they have in Page Six today. There was a story about Michael Jackson feeding live rabbits to his pet alligators. There's also a story about a NY Congressman who doesn't live with his life anymore. Richard said it's Charlie Rangle who apparently got a crash pad in the same building that his wife lives in.
Howard said that he heard that Chaunce Hayden calls Richard with stories about the show. Richard said it's not that often but Chaunce did call them with the story about Howard getting secretly married over Christmas vacation. Howard said that one actually kind of worked out well because he used it as a way to get people to subscribe to find out if it was true or not.
Howard read that Richard got a threatening letter from Kiefer Sutherland's lawyer. They had a story about Kiefer doing some wacky things while he was out at a bar. Howard said he's kind of afraid of Richard because of the stories they do. He said that they reviewed a commercial that Beth appeared in and really went off on her. Beth said that she didn't know that he could be so mean. Howard said that she just did what they asked her to do in the commercial. She wasn't acting, she's a model and she was asked to stand next to a drummer and shake her hands.
Howard gave Richard a plug for this Page Six magazine. Richard said there are a lot of pictures of hot chicks in bikinis in there as well. Howard saw a copper bracelet on Richard's arm so he asked him what that was about. He said it's preventative for something but he's not even sure what. Howard told him that some douche bag came up with that and he should get rid of the bracelet. He figures when he sees someone wearing something like that, they're neurotic.
Howard asked Richard about what the next big story will be. Richard said there's a story about a local anchor woman who had to start wearing makeup because her boyfriend gave her a black eye accidentally. That led to Howard talking about how hot the local anchor Liz Cho is there in New York. He asked Richard if she's the one he was talking about. Richard said he's not even sure if the story is true but he heard that it was about Kaitie Tong who got the black eye accidentally.
Howard said that the Page Six magazine is free in the NY Post today. He asked Richard about a few things and tried to find out who's gay. That led to Gary coming in and asking Richard if he knew anything about this comedian Ant who was on the show a couple of weeks ago talking about dating a celebrity who hasn't come out of the closet yet. Richard had no idea who Ant even was so he didn't have any details on who he might be dating. Howard said that maybe Richard could do something there at Howard 100. Richard said that would be nice because his office is just about across the street from them. Howard went to commercial a short time later.
Artie said that Lisa G had given them some home made cupcakes and he figures it's because she feels bad about what happened with Howard.
Howard said that he got some e-mail feedback about Kendra Jade. Some people wondered how Mike Gange got her years ago. Howard isn't sure how that happened but Mike was a better looking guy a few years back. Mike came in and said that he was better looking but now he's fat, ugly and old. Howard said that the actual way he got him is because he worked for the show.
Howard said that someone wrote in about the Elephant Boy and Buck Angel interviews from yesterday's show. They were both very disturbing to everyone. Howard interrupted again and said that Gary and Sal were apparently arguing out in the hall. Gary came through on his microphone and said that they were trying to work some stuff out. He said that Sal is upset about not getting some stuff into the studio. Sal said that he was trying to get a word in while Gary was yapping away to Howard. Gary was explaining to Howard what went on and Sal mooned him. Gary told him that if he does that again, he will put his fist up his ass or punch his apple bag so hard he'll never have another kid.
Sal said that his ass and Gary's face look the same so it was like identical twins on camera. Gary invited Sal to do it again so he went ahead and did it. The guys in the studio could see him on camera and laughed their asses off as it was going on.
Howard told Gary to calm down and got back to the e-mail. They got a lot of feedback about yesterday's show and about the show in general. Some people love the way the show is sounding these days. He whipped through a bunch of the other e-mail he got and covered a bunch of things that have been on the show lately.
Some people think that there's too much racism comedy on the show these days and they're tuning out. Some people came down on Howard about his reunion with Dee Snider. Someone said that this would have been a better revelation than his nose surgery. Someone told Robin she needs to shut the fuck up about that story because she's got her nose up Howard's ass too far. There were other people who thought Howard was going too far talking about his ''battles'' in the radio business. Robin also got a lot of feedback about how she was talking too much during the Dee Snider thing. Some people think that Howard should give Dee a show on his channel.
Howard played the call where he told the guy who answered the phone that they should not be mad at Americans. He did his Fartman thing and asked the man to tell the people what to tell his people. The guy said he was going to write down what he was saying. The guy hung up on him once so Howard called back. He started to give him some lines to repeat. Then the guy asked him if he was Howard Stern. Howard said he was shocked when he heard that coming from the guy and didn't know what to do. He stayed in character for a few seconds but then came out and asked the guy where he was.
The guy said he was in Beirut, Lebanon and asked Howard if he would visit them over there. The guy said that he used to have tapes sent to him from the States about Howard and he enjoyed them a lot. The guy said that he follows his news everywhere he goes and really appreciates the show. He would like Howard to do something for the Middle East. Howard told him that he has a peace plan that involves the Robospanker. He said that Howard needs to work on getting his show over there live.
Howard told the guy that if his show was on it would probably be taken off the air. Howard spent a minute talking to the guy and then let him go. It was shocking to him that the guy even knew who he was. Artie said that guy is like the Lebanese Zolar. He was such a big fan that he had tapes sent to him over there in Beirut.
Howard came back from the bathroom and said that he thought this guy John would be much bigger than he was. The guy used to be a Green Beret. He's only 5'6'' tall and he never told anyone in the service that he was gay. Howard said that this guy's story is in the tabloids so he wondered how he can back up the story. John said that he took a lie detector test. He also said that he didn't make love to him, he just had sex. Howard said that this is going to hurt Clay Aiken because he denies being gay.
John said that he hates hypocrites and that's what he thinks Clay is. He said that he focuses his stuff on Christian women and he's not the same person behind the scenes. Howard said that this guy's story is in just about every tabloid now. John told Howard that he's not angry at Clay now and he's over the fact that Clay allegedly wanted to fist him. He told Howard that Clay came out to his Mother in March.
Howard wondered if John has any regrets about bringing this story out. John said he does feel some regrets because he hurt some of his fans and Clay's family. Robin wondered why this guy is so angry at Clay. John said that Clay was looking for a relationship and they started to go through that but he was misled by Clay. He said he told Clay that he wasn't just there to bang him, he was also looking for a relationship. John claims that Clay was looking to just bang him as soon as he met with him.
John told Howard that he knew that he was going to be meeting with Clay Aiken from American Idol because they had chatted on the internet. They were in communication for a couple of weeks before they met in person. He said that Clay had sent him a video of himself and then called him and proved it was the real Clay Aiken. He knew his nervous laugh and recognized him when he called.
John said that Clay would call him once in a while when he was on tour. They kept in touch via Yahoo chat and eventually talked about meeting. Clay was telling him, via chat, what he wanted to do to him but it wasn't in graphic detail. They eventually set up a meeting at this hotel.
John claims that Clay wanted to meet discretely so he asked if there was a back entrance to the hotel. He showed up wearing a hat that kind of disguised himself.
Gary told Howard he read the Instant Message transcript and there was a lot of detail in it that makes it seem very believable. Howard also read it and said that it looked like Clay was the one who really wanted to get into it. John claims he didn't know that Clay wanted to just screw him. Nick DiPaolo said that he thought that's what the best part of being gay was, you just meet and fuck.
John claims that he got a lot of death threats after he outed Clay. He was threatened but he claims he never intended to out Clay. Howard asked him to get back to the story about how he met Clay at the hotel. He figured that Clay must have liked his look because he's a good looking man. He asked John how many inches he has. John said that he wasn't going to talk about that but people will be able to see him in some Lucas Entertainment films... Not George Lucas but a porn company.
Howard took some calls for John. One guy said that these guys who con Howard just to get on the show are ridiculous. He said that he was throwing around web site names and that seems to be why he wants to be on the show. The caller thinks that he's just doing this for air time. Howard said he realizes that and he's not pulling the wool over his eyes. The caller said that it wasn't interesting but Howard said he does find it interesting.
Another caller said that this interview was terrible and disgusting. They hadn't even gotten to the sex in the hotel room yet. Another guy called in and said he wanted to talk about yesterday's show, not about this stuff. Howard let him do that for a short time and then got back to John.
Howard asked John if Clay was dressed in anything special. John said he was wearing many layers of clothing and didn't take his shirt off when they were doing stuff. He said he might be getting a bit of a gut on him. Howard figures that John wanted to have sex with Clay just because he was a celebrity. John said that's not the case. He told Howard that Clay took his hand at one point and put it on his erect penis. He said he was shocked when that happened and he said that he didn't think he was very shy at all.
Howard asked John if Clay's penis was big. John didn't want to go there but he did say that it has some distinguishable marks on it. Howard asked him if he felt quite a package down there. John said that Clay had his pants on and he didn't want to disappoint people by saying how big it was. Howard said that he's got to talk about that stuff, he's already outing a guy so why not get into details. All that John would say is that it had three bumps on it so it was kind of unusual.
John said he pulled his hand away from Clay's package but Clay then got aggressive and pulled him in closer and made him take off his pants. He said it was almost a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of thing. John claims that Clay took him over to the couch and took off his pants. He said he could have stopped him if he wanted to. John said he took off his shirt and Clay took off his pants. Then he started pulling off his underpants. Clay left his own shirt on according to John.
John said that Clay wanted him to perform oral on him. Clay allegedly forced his head down there though. John said that he never got erect the whole time that Clay was doing this with him. He felt that he was forced into this but he could have walked away at any time. Howard asked him what he did after he performed oral on him. John said that Clay wanted to fist him but he had no idea what that was all about. He said he did try to put his fingers in there so he had to pull him out. He said he may have gotten up to 2 fingers in there.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to call this guy out to find out if he was really a Green Beret. He got upset and told John not to go around telling people that he was in the service because they're not fags. John figures that guy will try to hook up with him later today because he knows the way they work. He said that he had sex with at least one other Green Beret when he was in the service.
Another caller told Howard he knows nothing about American Idol and this gay stuff is going too far. Howard told him he had to finish this story. He asked John about what went on after the fingering thing. John said that Clay didn't care about making out with him, he was just into the sex. He wanted to have anal with him but he didn't have any condoms. He was going to go out and get some but Clay told him not to worry about that and had him perform oral on him instead. Then he had him roll on top of him and asked him to sit on his dick. He said they did end up having unsafe sex after that... for about 90 minutes.
Howard found it hard to believe that John took it up the ass for 90 minutes. John said that he tried to make him stop because it was going so long. Howard had some edited clips from Clay Aiken's audio book that he played for John. They edited them to be very gay sounding.
Howard still couldn't get over the 90 minute sex thing. John said that he never got aroused during that time. He said that Clay didn't really say all that much to him while that was going on. He also claims that he hasn't had sex since then. John claims that Clay came up on his stomach and then asked him to get him a towel to clean up with. Howard said he never makes his girlfriend clean him up. John claims that he didn't have any problems walking after the 90 minutes so maybe Clay wasn't all that big in the pants.
John said he brought Clay a wash cloth but it wasn't big enough for him. Howard asked John if it was tough to take a dump after that. Nick said that it should just fall out after something like that, kind of like dumping out a pocket book. Howard seemed to that was pretty funny.
John said that Clay left after the sex so he left about 5 minutes later. He went back after thinking that he had forgotten the towels. He wanted to throw them away so he took them and threw them in his trunk. He said he later saw Clay online but he blew him off a few times. He wasn't returning his mail or responding to him. He never got a response from the guy. Now he has those cum rags and he would like to give them back to him.
John claims that Clay has come to him since then and says he's praying for him and sending him scriptures. Howard told John he does have a problem with guys outing other people like that. He said that he has the right to stay in the closet if he wants. Howard said that the story has been in all of the tabloids so he wondered if he's heard from his lawyers. John said ''not directly'' but he has heard from Clay who has asked him to stay quiet about the whole thing.
Howard gave John a plug for LucasEntertainment.com since he'll be doing a movie for them. He hasn't shot it yet though. Howard wished John luck and wrapped up with him. They then went to break.
Penny Crone continues her Pet Peeves stuff with Benjy and they will have a Mr. Skin update as well.
Jon Hein was there to give them a preview of The Wrap Up Show. They'll be talking about Lisa G's run in with Howard earlier in the show. Jon said they'll also be talking about how they find a guest like John Paulus and get him on the show. Howard thought he made a great guest and talked about that for a short time. Jon said that they'll be talking to Gary about all of the shit he takes from people like Sal. They'll also be talking about the Penthouse Pets that were about to come in.
Cassia has been in a long term relationship with a guy but she still messes around with chicks. She said that he's no aware that she messes around with Jamie. The two of them said that they really do love each other and they live nearby out in California. They also have Martina Warren who lives near them so they get together out there. Howard said he has to move to their block.
Jamie and Cassia actually met for the first time the last time they were on Howard's show. They had some fun hanging out and ended up getting together. Cassia said that she's had a couple of girls in her life so this isn't that big of a surprise. Howard wanted to know how something like that happens for the first time. Cassia said that Jamie was changing and she noticed how great her boobs were. She then began to touch her boobs and things went from there. Jamie took her breasts out and Cassia was rubbing them. Robin was very surprised when she looked up and saw that going on.
Howard wondered if the girls really like to have their breasts touched like that. Jamie said he loves her breasts and told Howard that they're real. Howard asked to see Cassia's as well and when she whipped them out Howard told her they're the most perfect he's ever seen. She said that they're a full 34-C. Howard said they looked very comfortable messing around with each other.
Richard Christy came in and asked to watch because he's a huge fan. He's a paying member of their web site. He gave Howard some pictures from the web site where they're messing around with each other and Howard said it was pretty nuts. The girls said they do some soft core stuff on their site but only with girls. Richard said Jamie is a squirter as well and he's really into that.
Howard asked the girls if they've ever done the Sybian. They had never actually seen it so Howard was going to have Gary turn it on to demonstrate it. Gary started it up and showed them how much it vibrates. Jamie said she won't get on that thing. Cassia said she might do it. Howard asked her to go over and try it out.
Howard said that Cassia was wearing a school girl outfit as she was walking over to it. Gary had her sit on the Sybian and told her how to get herself ready for it. Howard asked her to tell them how it was feeling. Gary started it up and she said that the vibrations were going all the way up to hear head. Gary had her at 20% speed but he turned it up to 40, then 70 and Cassia said she didn't want to get off of it. She told him to turn it up to full power. Gary had her up to 75% so Howard told him to go for it. She stood up when he went up even higher. Cassia sat back down when Gary turned it to 75%. She said it felt like a really strong vibrator to her. Howard had Gary turn it up all the way but she was having trouble staying on the thing. She said she's so shy.
Cassia said she was too nervous for anything to happen. Howard told her that Jenna Jameson was able to finish. Gary was going up and down with the speed trying to get her off but she was very embarrassed by the whole thing. Howard had Jamie go over and make out with her while that was going on to loosen her up a little. Cassia said she still couldn't do anything because she's too shy. Howard told Gary to shut down the Sybian.
Artie said he didn't believe that Cassia's breasts were real so she offered to let him feel them. Artie ran over and felt her up and said they felt real to him. He also said that he doesn't believe that her tongue was real either. Cassia told Howard she wasn't able to relax on the Sybian because she didn't want to sit all the way down on it with the back piece going up her ass.
Howard talked to the girls about the first time they hooked up. They talked a little more about that and then Howard took a call from a guy who asked them to put pictures of these girls up on the web. Howard said they'll have to do that. He gave Cassia a plug for her web site SexyCassia.com and some plugs for some appearances they're making on Friday and Saturday at the Romantic Depots in Paramus, NJ and Elmsford, NY.
Cassia told a story about a guy who kept touching her at an event they were at. She said she had to threaten to pop the guy in the face. She ended up punching him in the eye because he wouldn't leave her alone. Howard asked her what the craziest thing she's ever done. She said she loves to lick her man's ass and she loves to have another woman suck her man off while she instructs her what to do.
Howard said it's amazing when hot looking chicks like this are into the porn thing. They both said that they don't do guys though, just other women. Howard had to kick Richard Christy out because he was asking some inane questions that he wasn't into. Richard said he was just turned on and wanted to know more about them. Cassia was describing what she does to her man when she's giving him oral and how she will lick his ass. Howard said that is so beautiful and loving to him. She said that she didn't do stuff like that back when she was in high school, that's a recent thing she just started.
Howard asked the girls if they were good girls in high school. They said they really weren't very good. Howard found out that Jamie had a threesome when she was in high school. She was with a guy and another girl. She said that she and the other girl wanted to give this guy a goodbye present and that's what it was. The guy did both of them so Howard said that was one lucky dude.
Howard asked the guys what they wanted to see before the girls left. Artie asked for them to fuck him. That wasn't going to happen but the girls made some moaning sounds while yelling out his name. Jamie then hopped on top of Cassia and messed around with her. They were making out with each other on the couch so Howard said that was awesome. The whole room was standing according to Robin. She asked Howard if he could stand up after that. He said he was fine because he wasn't all that worked up since he just had sex last night.
A phone caller told Howard that there was too much going on during the Sybian thing. Howard said he's going to have a new rule about who can be in there during that stuff. He said the Sybian is like surgery and they only want certain people in there. Cassia told Howard that the thing hurt her because she's very sensitive down there. Howard isn't sure what went wrong there but there was nothing wrong with the girls appearance.
Howard said that on Howard Stern TV (Howard Stern On Demand) there will be one section of just Sybian experiences. Another caller told Howard to work the button for the machine himself next time. Gary will handle the microphone next time while Howard is working the buttons. Howard said that if it doesn't work next time he's bringing in a horse to do the chicks.
Some callers were telling Artie to keep his mouth shut during those segments when they're doing sexual stuff. Artie said he wasn't even saying anything. Nick may have said a couple of things. Howard said that they're going to keep everyone quiet from now on and anyone that speaks will be kicked out of the studio. Howard then wrapped up with the girls and went to commercial after giving them some plugs for their web sites and appearances.
Howard listened to some Chris Rock comedy clips before coming out of break. That led to the guys talking about how great Chris is. Nick used to write for Chris when he had his HBO show. Howard asked Nick and Artie if they ever wish they had Chris' career. Nick said he wishes he were black. He said he'd be happy if he just had Carrot Top's career. They talked about some other comedians but Howard had to change subjects when he got some pictures of the girls that were just taken during the break.
Howard said that he would have no trouble making love to Cassia or Jamie even though he's a germaphobe. He said that they're super beautiful and they're not into dudes that much so they don't seem all that ''dirty.'' He asked Artie if he could get past that whole thing. Artie said he would have no problem with that. Robin pointed out that Artie dated a hooker for a few weeks out in Vegas. Artie said that was true and explained how she didn't charge him while he was with her.
Howard took Artie out of the conversation because of the hooker dating thing. He then wondered if he could be in a relationship with one of those girls. Nick told Howard that you can't trust a girl like that from banging other guys. He also said that he wouldn't be able to trust her as being a normal girlfriend either. Howard said that he's actually a very conservative guy in his regular life. Robin told Howard that he should start out wondering if he could even have sex with those girls. Howard thinks he could do that but he's not sure he could hang out with them for a month. Robin said there's no chance of that happening.
Howard figures that he'd be out of the room as soon as he dropped his load. Fred said that he thinks Cassia would be a powder keg and she would be out talking to the press as soon as she was with him... if that ever happened. Howard couldn't get over how gorgeous those two girls were.
Howard told Robin that he had some wild sex while he was dating after his divorce. He said he even had two women give him oral one time but they weren't in that industry. He said that he didn't date any strippers but he was with a couple of centerfolds. He said that they were even better in person than they looked in the magazines. He wouldn't say which magazines they were in though.
Robin asked Howard if he would have dated the girls long term if he could have. He said things didn't work out with them but he could have dated them long term. He had Robin start her news after that since it was already 10:45.
Howard said he thinks that XM is desperate because SIRIUS is selling well and catching up to them. He said that they make it look like Ellen Degeneres is doing a live show on XM but all they do is replay her TV show on XM. He called her a liar and said that it's a bunch of crap. Howard went off on that for a few minutes and said that they have to offer exclusive content to have subscriptions.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:20am.
Howard started off the show (Yes, he was live today) taking a call from King of all Japs who said he loves the show. He asked Howard to replay some of the old clips from the old days. Howard told the guy that they're writing some new bits including one that's a parody of Brokeback Mountain called ''Buttcrack Mountain.'' The caller said that all of this stuff is new and fresh to him because he wasn't able to hear stuff from the WNBC days.
Howard said he was laughing over the stories in the news about XM hiring Oprah Winfrey as if it's a big deal. He got a little sidetracked after that. He was having some technical problems with his microphone so he was trying to figure out where it was coming from. He was moving his head and talking and that's what was causing a strange noise. Scott the Engineer came in and pointed out that it was a camera motor from the In Demand guys. Howard told them they're driving him nuts and it's got to stop. He told them not to tape the show if that's what he has to hear.
Scott DePace came in and said that the sound has been there since day one and it wasn't a problem until now. Scott said that he didn't know how to stop it so Howard told him to shut the camera down and go home for the day if they can't stop it. Howard said that it's fine when it's not moving. He told Scott he can't have that for the next 5 years.
Howard got back to the XM story. He doesn't think that it's any bigger of a deal than the Martha Stewart deal on SIRIUS. He said that Oprah is never going to show up at XM. She's going to do a half hour show a week for 3 years and $55 million. He said he can picture the people over at XM in a meeting talking about hiring her. Oprah probably told them that she was too busy so they figured they'd have her just show up once a week. Oprah probably called her friend Gail and told her to do the show with her because it's only 30 minutes a week.
The women who watch Oprah are not the type of people who will go out and buy satellite radios in Howard's opinion. He read that it will be Oprah's friends on her show and he figures Oprah will not put any effort into this show. She doesn't put any effort into her ''Oprah After Hours'' show so she probably won't put it into this new XM show.
Howard said that XM's stock price shot up a bit after the Oprah show. He found an article about the deal and said that Hugh Panero and the people at XM are desperate to stay on top now that Howard Stern is on their competitor's service. He said that Oprah's show is going to be an inferior product because she's not going to put the time into doing this show of hers. Howard said that he's there working on his show constantly and it's a lot more work than she expects.
Howard said he laughs at the XM deal. They did get some nice press though. He said that his picture was right there next to his so it's good for him too. He said that she will probably get 100,000 people to sign up but then word will spread that she's not appearing on there that much and people will drop off. She'll walk away after 3 years with $55 million worth of XM's money.
Robin said that Oprah will probably give away XM radios on her show to her fans. Howard said that everyone will forget about this deal in a few days and it will quietly go away. He figures that XM paid $55 million for some free publicity. He said that Oprah did a phone interview with some reporters yesterday. $55 million for a phone interview and a half hour a week show.
Howard doesn't think that XM will make money back with the Oprah deal. He said that they pulled Ellen Degeneres into their service but Ellen doesn't even show up to the studios like they show on their commercials. Ellen just replays her TV show for them. Howard said that they need exclusive content to make something like that worth listening to.
Howard read that Oprah's show is going to be 30 minutes a week, for only 39 weeks a year. It's not even the whole year. Oprah is now working on content for her channel so Howard figures she has nothing figured out yet. He said that Oprah will probably have her friend Gail talk to her for 30 minutes and that's it. Oprah is calling her show ''reality radio'' but Howard said that it won't be real because she won't be honest on her show. A bunch of Oprah's regular guests will be on her show but none of them are radio people either. They won't be rebroadcasting her TV show either.
Howard read that Oprah did radio when she was in high school but she obviously bailed out on it for TV because she couldn't do anything with it. Howard figures she's just going to phone in the show and take XM's money. He played some news reports about the deal and they were saying that Oprah is getting paid much better than Howard Stern is because of the amount she's making for a 30 minute show. Howard said that XM appears to be in panic mode now because SIRIUS isn't going away. He said he may have to subscribe to XM just to hear the awful Oprah show for himself.
Howard played another audio clip where some reporters were comparing the Oprah deal to Howard Stern's deal. One guy said you can't underestimate the power of Oprah and he thinks that she's going to bring in a lot of her audience. Howard said that the arguments that the reporters were having were a joke. The reporters were yelling at each other over the subject.
Howard said that Ferrall is a radio guy and he knows what he's doing, like many of the other people they'll be hiring. Oprah and her friends don't know radio and they don't know what they're doing. He figures it will be a big disaster for XM and it won't last more than three years.
A caller told Howard that his show is much better now and it goes by very fast. Howard said that it's great because he doesn't have all of the commercials he had on old fashioned radio. The caller said that he used to be able to do his work during commercial breaks because they were so long. The guy said that he tore the nerves in both of his elbows so he's out of work right now. He said that it was a lot of repetitive motion that did it to him. He said that he had carpel tunnel a couple of years ago but this elbow thing is actually called cubical tunnel. The caller said that the show is his reason for getting up in the morning.
Howard asked him if he could blast out the Oprah Winfrey theme song. Will didn't know that one so Howard asked him to give them one last blast before he let him go. Will was having some problems so Howard told him he may want to rethink doing the Fart Olympics. Will asked for a few more seconds and he'd go. Will was able to squirt out some really watery sounds but then blasted away.
Howard used the F-word a couple of times this morning and he's trying to curb himself from doing that because he has gotten some feedback about cursing too much. He said sometimes it'll just come out though.
Janks asked Howard to put a compilation of Howard's birthday shows together because he'd love to see that stuff. Howard said they'll have a bunch of great new stuff once they start putting up the SIRIUS shows after March 16th.
A listener asked Howard where The Friday Show is today. Howard said he knew he was going to get that today. Some Fridays they'll be there, some Fridays they won't. He said that he wants to provide his fans with a show that is spectacular so they're working on that. The caller said he actually enjoyed The Friday Show last week because he got to hear some old material that he could never hear before. Howard thinks that some people will like The Friday Show even better than the regular radio show. Artie suggested that they make The Thursday Show as well as The Friday Show. That way they can all have four day weekends.
Howard played some audio of Ronnie the Limo Driver yelling about fucking some whores while drunk at Howard's birthday party. He then took a call from Bobo who said that Jay Thomas seems to be a bit of an ingrate because he was going off on Gary one day after Sal prank called his show. Jay was saying that he doesn't get why Gary is such a big deal. Howard also said that Jay was one of the best guests they've had on since moving to SIRIUS so he gets a pass on that kind of stuff.
Doug Goodstein came in and gave the guys an update on Cablevision picking up Howard Stern On Demand soon because the guys were wondering what was going on with that. Goodstein said that the deal is imminent and they've also added a couple of other cable companies around the country.
Bobo asked Howard if he thinks that SIRIUS will ever merge. Howard told him that XM had the jump start on SIRIUS because they were the first to get their satellites up. Now that he's joined SIRIUS they're on their way to catching up but it would make sense to have just one satellite company. He said he doesn't know what will happen but that is a possibility.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about Janet Jones and Wayne Gretzky. He was saying that Janet still looks good today but he was never really that into her in the past. He talked about her taking Gretzky's money and gambling it away. He wondered if Gretzky should dump her or not. Fred said that he'll probably stay with her because they have kids together. She apparently gambled away half a million of his money in 40 days. Howard said he had to take a break but he went around the room and asked the guys what they think Gretzky should do. Fred said keep her, Artie said keep her and Howard said he'd let her go, so did Robin.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he could come in and play some of his own music on the show. Howard asked him what kind of music it is. The guy said it's metal so Howard asked him to send him a tape and he will listen to it on the air. He said it will take him about 3 seconds to get through it. He hooked him up with Gary so he could get the address.
Robin said that the FCC is sticking with their plan to break up channel services for cable companies. They will make it possible for people to pick the channels they actually want instead of getting hundreds of channels they don't want. Howard said he can't wait for that to happen because the wise asses at E! or the Oxygen channel will never make it if that happens. He said that E! will be out of business the day that happens. He said they have a .2 rating on that channel and no one will subscribe to it if they don't have to.
Robin gave Howard a list of the channels on basic cable so Howard went through it and said that all of these channels will be gone once that choice happens.
Howard said that he wants to keep that place clean and doesn't want his guys jerking off in the bathroom. Howard told Gary to take the magazine from Sal. Sal refused to give it up and said that Gary would be fired if he took it.
Howard got back to the list of basic cable channels and said that they're all going to be worthless. He had Robin list more of the channels like...
Howard said that it will be great when the FCC changes those cable channel lineups. He said that their On Demand channel will be even more popular because people are willing to pay for content that's worth watching. Howard did a little prayer to get rid of those lame cable channels and even prayed for Artie's balding to slow down.
Scott said that he went to a bunch of Super Bowl parties over the weekend and only got kicked out of one. He was talking about the hot chicks that were there and was all over the place with his stories. When Howard would bring something up he would go off on a tangent and tell a completely different story. Gary came in and tried to help by telling some of the stories. He told one story about Scott getting some eye surgery done and feeling up an assistant that was in the room at the time, that's now his wife. He was high on Valium at the time.
Howard asked Scott more about the Janet Jones thing and talked about illegal betting and what a huge thing it is because it's tax free. Scott was rambling on and on about that stuff. He was ready to jump off the roof of the building because he was so excited being on The Howard Stern Show this morning.
Robin said that this guy seems to have ADD because he was all over the place with his discussions. Scott was telling Howard about how he was actually fired twice from Infinity Broadcasting. He said that he was able to alienate himself from most of the business because he likes sports more than he likes money.
Howard asked Scott how he met this co-host he has on his show now. Scott said that he met her through Don Buchwald's office. He was going off on those side stories again so Howard tried to reel him in and talk about how he lost his jobs. Scott was telling Howard about how he grew up after his son was born. He's much more responsible now but he used to have some problems at his jobs because he was drinking so much. He once fell asleep at work one morning at WNEW.
Scott said that he was close to making a million bucks at one point in his career and he wanted to go up against Howard. He also told Howard that he was once sued by Jack Thompson and lost the case because of what he was saying about the guy. Howard told Scott that he can't just say anything he wants. Scott said he realizes that and eventually went to work with Mancow. He said he still has a great relationship with him and still does the show. He's also doing a show from his home studio because he's better off being far away from management.
Gary asked Scott why he threw a plate of food at Jay Clark. Scott told the guys that he was working for him at KLSX and the guy once said that he didn't care much for his show. That's when Scott picked up the plate of food, said he didn't give a fuck, and threw the plate at the guy.
Scott had a lot of stories about getting beat up or beating other people up. He said things are going well for him now and he hasn't had any incidents lately. Gary wondered if he has ever slept with any of his interns. He said he hasn't done that but he would like to some day. Scott told Howard that he could see himself working there at Howard 100. He said the show is very fast paced and he can adapt to his surroundings.
Scott told Howard that he loves being there in the building and loved doing the show last night. He said that he got fired from WNEW after the Opie and Anthony debacle and wrote some nasty letters to management over there. He said some of those people are now working there at SIRIUS and he loves them, but he did go off on them back when he was fired.
Howard asked Scott about his voice which is very gravelly. Scott said that it's always been that way, it doesn't hurt and he never loses his voice. He somehow got sidetracked and started talking about a fistula he had on his ass one time and how painful that was.
Scott said that he will be bringing a duffel bag to the show tonight and plans on staying there even though he's not scheduled to be there next week. Howard said that Scott is on from 8 to 11pm on Howard 101, right after Bubba. He said he talks about anything and everything.
Scott was talking about his family and said that his mother passed away back in 1997 because of cancer. His father thinks that he's on drugs even though he's on nothing. He said he has tried drugs but doesn't do anything now. He said he still drinks though.
Howard took a call from Hook Nose Mike who said that Ferrall was great when he as over on WNEW. Howard then brought in Ferrall's on-air partner Lynn who asked Scott to calm down a little bit. Howard said that Lynn is a beautiful woman and asked her if she finds Scott's come-ons as being sexual harassment. She said she knows he's just talking and it doesn't upset her. Scott was also saying that she showed him her tits last night but she claims she didn't do that.
Howard told Scott he's got to concentrate on his work and not so much on Lynn. Howard asked Lynn if she can get a word in on their show. She said she is able to get him to quiet down once in a while. She told Scott to shut up for a minute and he actually stopped talking for a few seconds. Howard asked Lynn about her life. They spent a couple of minutes on that. Howard also asked her about her boyfriend and found out that he's a TV producer. He was also asking her about having sex and found out that he does her without condoms. She didn't seem interested in talking about that too much though. Howard told her that her boyfriend is very lucky because she is very beautiful.
Lynn asked Scott to stop talking again because he wasn't even letting Howard talk. Howard said it is tough to get a word in with Scott around. He thanked Scott and Lynn for coming in a short time later and wrapped up with them. Scott was still rambling on and on about stuff and not taking a breath. Lynn told him to breathe once in a while. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard wanted to talk to Scott about the Wayne Gretzky / Janet Jones thing but he never did get to it. He spent a few more minutes talking about it with Artie and the guys instead. Howard figures that Janet must be great in bed for Wayne to keep her around while she's betting five grand on the coin toss of the Super Bowl.
Howard read an article about Janet Jones so Artie as telling Howard that he's really turned on by hot chicks doing illegal things. He said that the best part of the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee home sex tape was watching Pam rolling a joint for Tommy. He said that was great to him. Howard said that's one thing but when Janet Jones is laying out complicated bets on sporting events, that's not hot.
The story about Janet all came up because Wayne's assistant coach was allegedly running a gambling ring and Janet was betting with the guy. Howard said that if he had a wife who was betting that kind of money, he'd be really pissed.
Howard changed subjects and talked about Al Michaels for a few minutes. He couldn't follow the article he read so Robin had to explain it to him. Al is leaving ABC to go to NBC to cover sports over there instead. Howard said that Al Michaels is great so he can't imagine why ABC would get rid of him for basketball games. Artie said that Al is awesome and ABC may be trying to go for a younger audience or something.
Will Murray came in and told Howard that the deal between ABC and NBC included some cartoon called Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Howard said that the rabbit looked very much like Mickey Mouse and ABC must have wanted the rights to it because of that.
Howard said that Oprah was talking about what she's going to do for her show on XM. She said it will be her and her friend Gail and they're calling it ''reality radio.'' She has nothing planned for her channel yet and Howard thinks that's going to be a disaster for XM.
Doug told Howard that they're at a standstill because they're waiting for Howard to come up with some direction for this whole thing. Howard told Doug that they'll have to talk about it over the weekend. Vinnie Favale called in and said that he was dying just hearing that conversation. Howard told Vinnie that he and Doug were talking about how they wanted to hold a film festival for the fans that they would put up on Howard Stern On Demand (Soon to be Howard TV). He said that they don't need categories like Doug said. He said that the fans can do whatever the hell they want. Doug said that's all he needs, he just needed some direction.
Howard asked where to send his film. Doug said that stuff is in motion already. Howard told Doug that this is not a ''Howard-centric'' film festival, it's a Howard Stern film festival. Doug said that this is very frustrating to him. Howard said that he is very concerned about this. Vinnie was complaining that they were having a production meeting on the air. Howard told him to stop talking.
Howard said that the fans can submit their movies in any format they want but Doug said they'd prefer DVD, Mini DV or anything high quality. Howard told him he'll take VHS as well because not everyone has the equipment they need to put it on a DVD. Howard asked Doug when all of this is supposed to take place. Doug said the wheels are in motion now that he knows what Howard wants. Howard said they should have had the wheels in motion already. Doug needed more information from Howard so this is the start of the festival.
Howard told Doug that he's got to speak up because he seems to be mumbling a lot these days. He also told Doug that they're going to hold a real festival at a movie theater. They will also end up on Howard Stern On Demand for the fans to watch. He said the winners will get upwards of $25,000 worth of cash and prizes. Howard told Doug that he was killing him because none of this was set in stone yet. Doug said that they're talking about a $25,000 grand prize but that's not really set yet. He said they're on track for that but there's a lot of legal stuff they have to take care of.
Howard said that Doug was not prepared for this conversation. Doug said they'll have everything done by next Monday or Tuesday. Robin said that Doug mentioned something about judging so they may have to go over that. Howard said he told Doug to line up some people like Richard Roeper and other film critics to review them. Howard said that the movies can have anything to do with the Howard Stern world... anything.
Scott DePace came in and tried to defend Doug. He said that Howard told Doug to bring this stuff up on the air but Howard told him that he wasn't in every meeting and didn't hear everything they were talking about. He told both Doug and Scott to get out of there. Doug said he will have full details in the near future. Howard also told him to start speaking up but Doug said that he's very tired because he's been working 16 hour days for Howard. Howard said that Doug is very soft spoken these days and he really does need him to speak up. Doug said he will talk louder from now on. Howard said that he struggled through that with Fred for years but he now speaks up.
Doug walked out of the studio defeated but Howard didn't give up on goofing on him. He went on to talk about the meeting they had up at his apartment about this film festival. He thought they had it all straightened out but then Doug came in and mumbled his way through the whole conversation not knowing all of the details. Doug came back in to defend himself again but Howard said he had to move on to Lisa Loeb.
Gary came into the studio to say something but he wasn't able to hear anything in the headphones. He was ready to walk out. Howard said he always does that and it pisses him off. They argued for a short time before Howard went to commercial break.
Howard had Lisa Loeb in the studio to play some songs for them. He talked to Lisa and her guitar player Mark Spencer for a short time before that. He talked to Lisa about her career. She told him that she went to Brown University so Howard said that she must be pretty smart if she went there. She told him that she did some acting and music while she was there. Some of her friends would hang out and go to plays.
One of the people in the group was actor Ethan Hawke. He lived across the street from her and starred in the movie ''Reality Bites.'' He asked her for a copy of one of her songs for the movie. At the time, she had nothing going on as far as a record deal. Ethan asked Ben Stiller to put the song in the soundtrack. Howard wondered if Lisa ever made love to Ethan. She said she didn't know about that and said that they're still friends. She said there may have been a little attraction there but they didn't date at the time.
Lisa said that she's pretty sure that Ben liked the song and it was easy to put the song on because she didn't have a record deal at the time. They put the song, ''Stay (I Missed You),'' in the credits and she made a good deal with it. Then a radio station down in Houston got a hold of the song and started to play it on the air. That led to the song being played on a bunch of other radio stations and it eventually went to number one. She made her record deal as the song was at number one on the charts so it was perfect timing.
Lisa said that there were about 15 record companies trying to make a deal with her. She said they were doing all kinds of stuff to try and sign her. She claims she doesn't remember exactly what the deal was that she finally made. Lisa said that it was a good time back then.
Howard said that the soundtrack for the movie ''Reality Bites'' actually did better than the movie itself. Lisa said that the song still holds up after all of these years. Howard wanted to hear the song ''Stay (I Missed You)'' so he asked Lisa and Mark to perform it for them. She did just that and Howard enjoyed it. He said that it's a good song and it's hot that she sat around in her room writing it.
Howard gave Lisa a plug for her new album ''Very Best of'' and asked her about her relationship with Dweezil Zappa. She said that they just came to a point where they realized that their relationship wasn't going anywhere so they broke up. She said that she probably would have married him if they had stayed engaged. She said he did go on to get married but she didn't want to say who that person was.
Lisa told Howard about her dating show on E! but he told her that she's too nice. She needs to be more honest and let it rip on the guys she's not into. She won't talk about the people she has dated but that's what she needs to do on her TV show.
Howard asked Lisa how long it took Dweezil to get into her pants. She said they were actually good friends for quite a while before that. She also said that he didn't get married for a couple of years after they broke up. Howard asked her more about this TV show she's got on E! and asked her if she plans on getting married eventually. She said that's not what it's all about but it's fun. The show is called ''Number 1 Single.''
Howard played some of Lisa's new song from her album and said that she sings like an angel. He said he may have to come on her TV show and date her. She's too short for him though. She's only 5'2'' tall. Howard asked her if she ever tried lesbianism after that. She said she never did and asked if it was too late for her to try. Howard told her it's never too late and told Robin to go over there and get it on with her.
Howard brought in Lisa's sister Debbie so he could meet her. Lisa said that they're playing her music on Z100 and one of the SIRIUS stations too. Debbie was dressed a little less conservatively than her sister. Howard asked her if she has ever done anything with a woman. She said that she's never done anything on purpose. He asked the Loebs about the dating show they're part of and figured that both of them would have no problem getting dates.
Howard played some of Debbie's song and danced a little bit. He told her that she needs to go out and bang Ethan Hawke. She said ''Ewe!'' when she heard that. Howard got back to the song and kept dancing. Gary told Howard that they actually met Debbie down in New Orleans back in 1996 when she was pushing a show. Howard wrapped up with the girls a short time later and gave Lisa a plug for her album and also gave Debbie a plug for her web site DebbieLoeb.com as he was going to break.
Jon Hein from The Wrap Up Show was in to give a preview of that show. Jon said that he's been getting some mail from women who would like to hear more of his personality come out during his show. Jon said they'll be talking to Scott Ferrall's co-host Lynn. They'll also be talking to Doug Goodstein about what went on earlier in the show. Howard heard that Doug had all kinds of email about their discussions so Howard told him to stop with that and move on. Jon told Howard they'll also be talking about some of the bands that have performed on the show. Howard said that all of the bands that have performed have been great and 10 times better than they sounded at the old place. He said the sound at SIRIUS is much better than the old station.
Howard and the guys were talking about the snow storm that was heading their way this weekend. Howard said he hates snow and isn't looking forward to it. He was going to ask Benjy what he was going to be doing this weekend but as soon as he asked him Benjy started to stumble so he gave up. Benjy started yelling but Howard shut off his microphone.
Gary came in and told Howard that he had to reprimand Sal for talking to Lisa Loeb about a thong picture he had seen. He told her that he was a big fan of hers and that he loved the picture he saw of her in the thong. Gary thought that was kind of inappropriate.
Robin asked if Jackie was still drinking and smoking. Gary said that Jackie is very vague when he asks him about that and he's not sure if he's still drinking or not. Howard said according to the song he's drinking, smoking pot and whipping his dick out. Artie pointed out that Jackie has a birthday coming up on February 14th and he's going to be 58 years old... almost 60. Howard wondered how a 60 year old man can sing a song about smoking pot with his dick out. Howard said he's not buying that song and said that he'd believe it if the lyrics were about how he's 58, depressed and he f'd up by leaving the Stern show. Fred played Jackie's pot song to let everyone know what else Jackie has performed.
Howard tried playing some Neil Young stuff during Robin's news after Artie mentioned that there's a movie out featuring his music. Howard blamed the guitar when he wasn't able to play it very well. Artie tried singing along but they weren't having any luck actually creating anything. Artie said he was out in the ''Fish Bowl'' studio playing on the drum set that's in there just for the hell of it. He said no one can hear you playing in there so it was great.
Richard Christy came in and told Howard that he actually sounded pretty good playing guitar. He wanted to come in and play some bongos with him sometime. Howard ended up singing some of Jackie's new song while playing guitar himself. Fred played the song so Howard could play along. Howard played guitar along to the song and he was able to play but only because it was ''...Jackie's shitty song.'' Artie said that they really do have to go into the Fish Bowl one day and just make some noise.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in to talk about how Barry Manilow's album is number one right now. Howard said they covered that yesterday and didn't want to go over it again. That led to the two of them talking about the new season of ''Survivor.'' Vinnie said that they did pretty good in the ratings this week and they beat (barely) Dancing with the Stars. Howard claims that he would have picked up that show if it was pitched to him. Vinnie found that hard to believe.
A little later Howard attempted to play the Pink Panther theme song on the guitar he was messing with. He didn't have any luck with that so he played some ''These Boots are Made For Walking'' and didn't do too bad. He had Robin wrap up her news after that and they ended the show around 10:50am.