|Friday||This Week On E!|
''Dave'' took a phone call from a guy who said ''Dave'' wasn't the real David Lee Roth, and then another caller did the same thing. He got back to his first show and said he was going to have an intern come in to talk to him. Claudia told Dave she's just 18 years old and Dave said he has Spandex older than her at home. She wasn't even sure what Spandex was. Claudia told Dave that she likes to party so Dave told her she was in the right place. He asked her if she knew who Van Halen was. She said they're a little old for her but she does know about them. Dave talked to Claudia about her schooling and what she wants to do with her life. Dave eventually complained about some of the stuff Howard did on his show and said that he won't be putting down the FCC on his show.
Dave played a game called ''Name that Sensational Diamond David Lee Roth Song'' where he played one of his songs and had people try and guess what the name of the song was. He gave out the phone number which was (800) 447-8376. The first caller was Kelly who told Dave he sucked and she doesn't understand what happened to Howard. The next caller asked Dave where Howard was. He told Dave he sucks so Dave hung up on him. Another caller said he hopes that this is a joke. Dave rambled on and on a little longer and said he knows that there will be some disgruntled people out there. He took a commercial break around 6:20 and said he'd be back after the break.
Dave bragged about the rumors and then said he has a mystery guest on the phone. It was Howard Stern. Howard thanked Dave for letting him call in. He said he didn't think it was cool that Viacom let him go without letting him say goodbye to his audience. Howard said he did 20 years on that radio station and he finds it odd that his company would let him go like that. He wished Dave luck and said he doesn't think it's cool that he has to say goodbye this way. Howard said he got the call during his vacation that they didn't want him back and Robin didn't hear about it until this morning. He said he'd like to say goodbye to some people from his audience so Dave put through a few calls. One guy said that this had better be a joke. Howard told the guy he was wishing Dave luck. He kept the scam going. Another caller said that he can't believe that they're doing this to him. Howard said that this is what happened since he's moving to a new place. He wouldn't end the joke and kept it going. Dave asked Howard if he had anything else to say before he let him go. Howard said he'd talk to some more people on the phone. Dave put through a guy who sounded retarded and told Dave he likes his hair. Howard told Dave that this was probably the last time he was going to be on the air and it wasn't exactly the goodbye he was looking for. Howard said he'd try to get Robin Quivers to call in to say her goodbyes. Dave rambled on a bit about how he was going to be the next ''King of All Media'' and spoke to Irene a little more. Howard hung out in the background and stayed quiet for a minute while Dave and Irene rambled. Dave took another commercial break around 6:45am.
Dave let Robin go after that and had another special guest come in. It was Tom Chiusano. Tom said he was happy to have Dave there because now he could sleep in later and wouldn't have to come in early to man the dump button. Tom told Dave he likes his song ''Leap'' but David Lee didn't have a comeback for that one. Howard then came back in and let everyone know that it was all a joke. Howard said he heard the news that David might really be taking over for him and thought it would be funny to do this. Tom told Howard that he knows about as much about the rumors as he does. Howard thanked Billy Mira for his David Lee Roth impression and gave him a plug for his web site BillyMiraComedy.com
Bong Hit Eric called in and said he did a couple of bong hits this morning and was worried that he had smoked some pot that was laced with angel dust or something. Howard said he heard some of the phone calls coming in back in the office and people were actually saying that Dave's show was better than his. There were some people who were upset though.
Howard gave Billy another plug for his web site and spent a couple more minutes talking to him about the impressions he does. Howard wondered what impressions Irene does. She doesn't do any but she was ready to let Howard give her a breast exam. Howard had her come over to him so he could check them out. She claimed they were real so Howard wanted to check them out. He said he hasn't felt a real one in a long time. Eric asked him if Beth's were real. Howard said he was joking and hers are real.
Howard took a few phone calls and let some people say a few words about the scam they'd just pulled. Howard talked about the rumors that were flying around while they were on vacation. They were saying that David Lee Roth was going to take over for them in September so Howard decided to make it really happen early. Howard was also saying that the guy who did the voice of the Operations Manager was actually one of their interns. Robin warned everyone that this may really happen in some day.
One caller said that he knew that this was a joke from the start. Bobo called in and said he knew it was a joke as well. Howard took another call from a guy who said he was having a panic attack when he heard the news. Howard figures that there were some news crews on their way there this morning before he got on the air and said it was all a joke. Howard took a call from a guy who said that he must have scared a lot of people with this joke this morning.
Howard said he heard that Adam Carolla will be taking over for him in Los Angeles and David Lee Roth is definitely taking over for him in New York. He said he knows that for a fact. He had some fun with this stuff and it was time to get back to the real show. Irene told Howard that she hopes to see him at the Scores on the East side. Howard has been going to the West side Scores though so he doesn't get there. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard talked about doing shots of vodka at his friend's house while he was on vacation. Robin was worried that she'd have to do an intervention with Howard if that keeps up. Howard said he heard that he called Booker that night that he was drinking and he can't remember the call. He said he won't be drinking during the week though and will only drink on the weekends. Artie said he used to propose to Dana when he'd get drunk and he wouldn't remember it the next day. Robin was wondering why he doesn't just marry her already. He said that she's usually sober when he asks her so she always says no.
Howard mentioned the London bombings since they were on vacation when that happened. He said he wanted to get on the air and start yelling about that when it happened. Robin told him that he can still yell about it because it's still in the news today. She said that they have closed circuit cameras in London and were able to pick out the bombers shortly after the bombings. Meanwhile, there are no cameras in New York City but they're eventually going to put them in. Howard went on to talk about what he'd like to see happen with Osama Bin Laden and how they could get people to give him up already. He suggested warning countries that if they don't give him up, we'd drop a nuclear bomb on them. He said we'd probably end up dropping bombs on 3 countries but it might get the job done. Howard said that would just be the starting point for his plan to take care of terrorism. Robin and Howard talked about some of the London bombers and how odd it was that one of the guys was a teacher with a pregnant wife. The guy blew himself up so Howard figured it must have just been the marriage that drove him over the edge. He was joking of course.
Howard said that the rumor is that he'll be replaced in September and he has confirmation that David Lee Roth will be the one to replace him. He said he doesn't know if the September thing is true or not but David Lee is definitely replacing him. Howard also knows that Adam Carolla is replacing him out in Los Angeles. Howard said the really weird thing is that the E! crew aren't there this morning. Howard's hair was a mess because Toni wasn't there to do it. Artie said that Toni used to paint his bald spot so it wasn't so noticeable. ARtie said he's doing that for the movie as well but it takes about a half hour to do it. Howard suggested that he tattoo some hair on his bald spot so he wouldn't have to do that. Howard then said he's going to go out and get some new ink to commemorate the number of years he's been on the air. He said he's been having a great time with Beth lately and they're getting along really well right now. He likes to have this time off during the summer.
Artie is going to be shooting his movie Tuesday through Saturday after he's done with the radio show. He's going to have a schedule similar to what Howard did when he was shooting his movie back in 1996. Howard said he got an e-mail from Sam Simon asking him if he could come in and sit in during the news when Artie leaves the show early to shoot the movie. Howard said he told Gary to tell Sam no on that.
Howard got back to Robin's TV show discussion and asked her more about that. Robin told Howard that they had the same audience show up for 2 days in a row. Howard figured they must have been paid to come in for that. Robin wasn't sure about that but they were very nice from what she said. They shot the show on a Friday and Saturday so the people had to show up on a weekend. Howard said that maybe they were detainees from a jail or something. Robin said she was doing so much that day she never considered that. There were about 110 people there from what Robin said. She was saying that they had people changing seats during the tapings so it didn't look like the same audience the whole time.
Robin said she was part of a prayer circle on her TV show set. It wasn't her idea, it was some guy that works on the show who suggested that they do it. Everyone is hoping the show goes well so they prayed for that. Howard said that's a weird move. Robin isn't into that stuff but she sat through it anyway. They did that on the set of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Robin did an episode. She said Will Smith was the leader of that prayer circle. She said the guy that did it on the set of her TV show was pretty quick about it. She didn't want to offend the guy when he suggested they do it but she said she hopes this doesn't continue. Howard thinks that she's started something that will probably continue as long as her show does. Robin talked about what they did on her show for the pilot. They had some discussions about cheating and had one paternity test on the show. Howard said it's sounding like a Maurey Povich type show. She said they did find some very interesting people on the show. Artie suggested they just do Maurey Povich-like subjects but change it to midgets. So they'd have ''Monster-in-law midgets'' and stuff like that. Robin said she also does a Jerry Springer-like speech where she gives her thoughts on the subject they talked about.
Howard was trying to figure out how much longer he has on the air. Gary eventually told him that it's 5 months, 15 days and 16 hours until he moves to satellite. He may only be on the air on this station until September so it's just a few more weeks.
Howard mentioned that he saw Robert Plant on David Letterman's show one night while he was on vacation and he looked really bad. They also mentioned Bob Geldof who is about Howard's age but looks like he's about 80. Howard said that Robert Plant's song that he performed on Letterman's show was really good. He doesn't know if they're playing it anywhere though. He played the song ''Shine it All Around'' and Robin said she liked it. Howard said it's kind of weird to see an old guy like that singing rock and roll songs. The guys were goofing on the guy's age and had some fun with that.
Scott said that he's playing golf today but it's a business trip because he's playing with a possible employer. He's also hoping that Howard has something in the works so he'll have a job with him again. Howard said they should have something soon but he doesn't have any announcements yet.
Howard let Scott go and got back to their discussion about reality shows. Howard said they haven't mentioned that the singer from INXS killed himself while masturbating. Howard thinks that all of the people on the reality show are too good for INXS. He also said that Dave Navarro is good on the show but Brook Burke is horrible. She can't pull it off because she's not that hot and she can't read her lines. Robin said that the Bobby Brown reality show is great too but Howard hasn't seen that yet. Howard said he'll watch it tonight so he can be up to speed. Howard talked about running into Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston out at a hotel out in Los Angeles one time. He saw them complaining about their wheels being stolen at the hotel while they were staying there. Robin said Bobby told a story about Whitney having trouble going to the bathroom one time and how he used his hands to pull it out of her. Robin said he said something about how that was ''black love.''
Gary came in and told Howard about a couple of reality shows that he's been watching. Howard hasn't seen some of the shows and it doesn't seem like he's interested in watching any of them. Howard and Gary talked about the INXS show and how they never really liked INXS before this show. Howard also played a clip from ''Dancing With the Stars'' that he was watching before vacation. He said that Kelly Monaco ended up winning on that show. Artie didn't know what the show was all about so Howard had to explain it to him. He said that Artie would actually be good on that show because they take B-list celebrities and team them up with real dancers. Howard was also talking about how Rachel Hunter has been complaining about Kelly Monaco winning the show and she doesn't realize that she's very hateable herself. Howard said after she appears on his show even he hates her. There's something about her personality that rubs people the wrong way.
Ralph called in to go off on Stuttering John about his attitude toward the show even after all they did for him. Ralph said that Howard should ''get him'' somehow. Howard wondered if he should put a hit out on him or something. Ralph said he has to do something to him. They changed the subject and brought up the grilling that Howard did over vacation. Ralph had some of his beer can chicken and loved it. Howard said that people have to check out Steven Raichlen's web site to get some hints on grilling.
Richard told Howard that Sal recently shaved his chest so he could look more like Howard. Howard said he doesn't shave his chest and has quite a bit of hair on his chest. Howard asked Sal how he was doing in the bathroom. Sal was still working on himself and Jason was in the bathroom checking out what he was doing. Sal didn't want to come out of the bathroom. He was still working on himself so Gary and Howard had to demand that he come out. Sal ended up shoving the thing in Richard's face when he came out. Richard said he was going to wipe a booger right on his face because of that. Sal said the piece of plastic was about a 7 on a scale of 10 for feel. He said that he would give his wife a 7 and a half. Sal also told a story about going to a booth next to a bar they went to a couple of weeks ago. He also said that he went out to a booth one time with Bob Levy one time and Levy told him he had to go into this booth he was in. He didn't get the joke when he went in because there was a chick dancing. Levy told him not to look through the window, look at the window. That's when he saw that Levy had apparently flung his leftover stuff on the window. Howard had to take a break a short time after that. He gave Sal the Senso Sapphire box since he had used the thing.
Another caller told Howard how sick he felt when he thought that he was gone. Howard said they had some people fooled and even a CBS affiliate in Philadelphia thought that it was real. He played that clip again. The caller said that Chris Booker was on the air on channel 11 this morning and he was reporting that David Lee Roth had replaced Howard. Booker was apparently winking while he was reading the report so he knew it was a scam. Howard said he doesn't have anything against David Lee Roth so he doesn't want to bad mouth the guy or anything like that.
A phone caller told Howard about this DJ Don Geronimo whose wife had died in a car accident recently. Howard said he heard that and it's a horrible thing. He said he feels really bad for the guy and won't be bashing the guy while he's down. He doesn't know the guy personally or professional so he's not going to comment on it. The caller told Howard what he heard about the death before Howard let him go. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she almost went out and bought a SIRIUS tuner because of the joke they played earlier in the morning. Howard heard that there were a lot of calls to SIRIUS from people wanting to subscribe immediately.
Howard had a note from one of their current interns who wrote him a note about an Indian man who approached him on the street and commented on the weather and then the clothes he was wearing. Max came in to help out with the story but Howard read the note that he got from him. Max said that the guy asked him if he does any modeling and asked him something about his pubes. Howard said that young kids like this need money and will listen to just about anything. Howard said he would even listen to Amway salesmen when he was in college because he needed the money. He read more about Max's story and found out that he agreed to meet the Indian guy later in the day. He met him later on and the guy asked him to try on some shoes. Then he was telling him how attracted to him he was. The guy eventually told him that he wanted to try him out and pleasure himself while he stood naked in front of him. Max told the guy that he was only 16 years old even though he's 19. He actually told the cops about what went on and tried to get the guy in trouble. Howard jokingly said he wanted to see Max's body to see if he was attracted to him. Max said that he told this guy that he shaves his pubes when they get too long. He was also saying that he doesn't have all that much chest hair. Howard and Artie had some fun goofing around with that stuff while Max was filling them in.
Max told Howard that he called 911 on the guy and they told him to call 311 to report something like that. He couldn't get anyone to do anything through that number so he called 911 again and they eventually said they'd send out an officer to check it out. Howard said it's not exactly illegal to be a gay man in Manhattan. Ralph called in a little later and said that this kid is a C/T. Then the kid told them that he told the 911 operator that a Gay Indian man had courted him. Howard goofed on him about that for a couple of minutes and then had to go to break.
After Robin read a story about how Meg Ryan has been trying to get a job on their show Howard talked about how wrong the stories in Page Six have been about him. There was a report about him going to a temple to see his friend Ross' fiancee become a Jew. He said he was there but the other details in the story were completely untrue. He heard from someone who said they heard that it was Howard who had converted. Howard said he's now thinking of converting to become a Christian because the Jews are such yentas.
Later on during the news Howard was talking about the movies that he can watch over and over again. He said he can watch ''Bram Stoker's Dracula'' over and over again. He said Beth must really hate it but he watches it every time it comes on. He was also talking about this movie ''Grind'' that has some funny lines in it. He also mentioned ''Terminator 3'' which he has watched over and over and over. Artie said he watched the Yankees beat the Red Sox a bunch of times over the weekend. Howard said he also has to watch ''Daredevil'' over and over again until he knows all of the lines. Robin sounded pretty surprised at that because the movie wasn't all that great. The guys ended up talking about movies for quite a while during the news. Artie said they're remaking ''The Bad News Bears'' and he's not so sure that's a good thing. He also said that remaking ''Willy Wonka'' wasn't a great idea. Gary said he took his kids to see ''Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'' and they loved it. He said he's not sure he can bring his kids to see the remake of ''The Bad News Bears'' though. Robin wrapped up her news after that and they ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started off the show with a David Lee Roth (Billy Mira) prank call to a chicken restaurant. Howard and Artie got a few laughs from that. After that Howard mentioned how his show made it to the news after the hoax they pulled first thing in the morning with Billy Mira pretending to be David Lee Roth for an hour. Howard went on to complain about the heat in New York City. He went for a run yesterday and thought he was having a stroke at one point. He also went to the opening of the new Nobu restaurant which is right in the building he's working in now. Robin had forgotten about the construction that's been going on there. Howard told her that they put about $15 million into the place. Howard said he saw a few celebrities when he went there with Beth last night. They saw Ross Zapin and his new wife. That led to Howard talking about how Ross made his wife convert to Judaism to become his wife. Howard said it was a pretty touching ceremony but Ross didn't seem to be affected by it. Robin wondered if it made him want to join the religion. Howard didn't seem interested. He talked about some of the things that went on at the ceremony. There were some readings and Howard sounded pretty impressed by what he heard and saw. He doesn't have any desire to go through all of that himself though.
Howard told Robin that he's heard some things about her new TV show. He heard that she was really good at doing what she did when she shot the pilot. He figured she's happy to be doing things without him. Robin said she did like what she was doing but not because it wasn't with him. Howard jokingly said he heard that she was burning photos of him on her show.
Howard said that Cabbie asked him if he was going to have a job for him when he gets out of jail. At first Howard said ''yes'' but thought better of it and changed his story. He had to tell Cabbie that he doesn't know if he'll have anything available when he gets out. Cabbie said he's a free agent right now and he doesn't have a contract with the station right now. They apparently wanted to sign him for when he gets out but they wanted to keep him off the air for up to 90 days after he gets out. Cabbie said it's a holding deal and if he signed it, he'd have to stay off the air for 90 days even if he doesn't have a job there. Howard told him not to sign anything like that. Howard ended up talking about Cabbie's tattoos since he's just about covered now. Cabbie said his ''schveen'' isn't covered when Howard asked him about it. Cabbie said that his tattoo guy has done some work on ''schveens'' but he hasn't had any done on his. Howard said he knew a guy who had some work done on his and died of a heroin overdose a couple of days after it was done. Artie thinks that anyone who has it done is a little nuts. Cabbie told the guys that he knew a guy who had his taint tattooed with a picture of a piece of cheese. Howard said Cabbie might be laughing now but you know he's going to get that done to himself eventually.
Cabbie brought up the Lil Kim thing and asked if it was fair. Howard told Cabbie to just drop it and do his time. Cabbie is hoping to come in next week and say goodbye. He's starting up a web site called FreeCabbie.com. Howard talked to Cabbie about his sentence and how he may have to serve the full year when he goes to jail. Cabbie said if the judge says he has to serve a year, he'll have to serve at least 85 percent of that time. Howard wondered if Cabbie will be able to get his medication while he's in prison. Cabbie said he hopes he can and Artie said he should be able to get it from the prison pharmacist. Howard said he's been picturing Cabbie going nuts from day 2 in the prison because he won't have anything to keep him sane in there. That led to the guys goofing on Cabbie about what he's going to be doing in there. They picture him getting sold to some guy and servicing him while he's in there. Cabbie says he'll be writing his book when he's in there and he's also heard that he won't have to service any guys in there unless he wants to.
Howard took a call from a guy who couldn't get his thoughts out. Howard had to hang up on him and then went on to complain about how callers should just get into the topic they called about. Howard had to take a break so he wrapped up with Cabbie. They were talking about how nutty Cabbie had gotten at one point. He actually got Dave Grohl's phone number and called him. Cabbie said that Dave is a friend and he actually did call him back. Howard was another one of his friends who called during his time of need. Cabbie asked Howard if it was true that David Lee Roth is taking over for him. Howard said that it is confirmed that Roth is taking over for him there in New York and Adam Carolla is taking over for him in about 4 stations on the West Coast. Howard isn't sure if Roth will be taking over in September though. He went to break after talking about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's best friends with Andrea ''Miss Howard Stern.'' Howard asked to talk to Andrea since she was supposedly there. Howard said she's scheduled to come on the show and have an intelligence contest against Wendy the Retard. She wouldn't get on the phone though. Howard let the friend go a short time later. He said he's been working on the questions for Andrea and Wendy and they're pretty simple. He figures the contest could go either way though.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who thought that yesterday's show was for real and tuned out shortly after it started. He didn't know it was a scam. The caller also asked about Howard's TV plans. Howard still can't talk about what he's got in the works for a new TV show. They do miss the E! crew though. Howard said that Ronnie is pretty lonely out in the hall because all of the E! guys are gone now. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard changed subjects and said that it's obvious why Katie Holmes is with Tom Cruise because she's on the cover of every magazine now. He said she's on the cover of W magazine and many others. Robin said she's seen a bunch of celebrities defending Tom about his Scientology rants lately.
Howard said he heard that Donald Trump wasn't too happy with his show ''The Apprentice'' last season and he was thinking of doing a Blacks vs. Whites on the show at one point but now he's backtracking and saying he's against that. Howard said he's watch that show if they did something like that.
A phone caller told Howard that he's been married for a long time but his wife is cheating with a much younger guy. Howard said that happens to people every day and told him to just go out and find another girl. That led to Howard talking about Les Moonves from CBS who is married to Julie Chen. He looks 10 years younger these days because he's not married to his last wife and he's with a new woman. The guys spent a few minutes talking about Jude Law because they admire the way he handled his marriage after he cheated with their nanny. Howard said he was talking to Les Moonves when he was at Nobu and Les told him to come back whenever he wants. He said Les was pretty cool to him that night. The guy on the phone who was losing his wife was still on the line but Howard had forgotten about him just like his wife had. The guy said that he has a nice ''executive home'' and a resort home. Robin told Howard that's a new term they use for some houses now. The caller isn't an executive but that's what they call it anyway. That led to Artie doing his Jeff the Drunk impression and goofing on the caller saying that Jeff lives in an executive home as well. The caller told Howard that he was still sleeping with his wife up until about a month ago and she was with the other guy then as well.
Artie couldn't get past the article he was reading about the Yankees so they spent a short time on that subject. The guys told the phone caller to go out and get a woman. He asked if he could come in and play ''Win Fred's Money'' but they told him that he'd probably have to give half of his winnings to his wife if he wins. The guy was saying that his wife still looks really good for a 43 year old. Howard told him he knows how hard it is to hold onto a good looking woman. He let the guy go a short time later. He put him on hold so they could get his info.
Artie went on to tell a story about how he mistakenly told Ralph that Pat Morita had died after he thought he saw that on a scroll on CNN earlier in the day. Artie said Ralph was pretty close with him and there was no other notice of him dying. It turned out that Artie had seen the tail end of the scroll and it was someone else who was in the movie that passed away. Howard said he made a mistake back around 9/11. He was supposed to have a meeting with Sam Simon back then and Sam told him that Danny Devito was on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center. Howard said it really put a face on the tragedy and bummed him out. He went around all day telling people that Danny Devito had died. Then Sam called him a few hours later and told him that it wasn't true. Gary came in and said that he was one of the people that he called with the Danny Devito news. He said that he never met Danny but he was really sad when he heard the news. Gary said a couple of days went by and nothing was reported in the news. Artie said he really blew it because Ralph Macchio almost called Pat Morita's wife to talk to her about his death.
Artie said he's been trying to find out what kind of money Ralph got for doing the sequels to ''The Karate Kid.'' Howard told Artie that Ralph didn't do the third movie and remembered that Hillary Swank was in it. He spent a minute talking about the movie and how big her boobs were in that movie. Artie said he's been asking Ralph why he's doing this ''Beer League'' movie with him. Ralph apparently told him that he just likes acting. Artie said that right now, Ralph is probably waiting for him on the set of the movie which is a baseball field in New Jersey. Artie said that he's getting paid scale for the movie but that's because he's got a piece of the movie. They have Jim Breuer in the movie as well. Artie told Howard about some of the stuff Jim is doing in the movie. Jim Florentine is also going to be in the movie. Gary asked him if Sal and Richard are going to be in it as well. He said he can picture their names rolling up the screen now.
Artie told another story about Don Rickles doing a scene in ''Dirty Work'' where he couldn't remember his lines so they told him to do whatever he wanted. Rickles ended up goofing on Norm Macdonald as Norm Macdonald instead of his character name. Artie said that Norm laughed the whole time and they couldn't get a take where he wasn't laughing so you can see that in the movie. Don had to insult Artie in one scene as well and said ''Look at you, you baby gorilla.'' That got Howard laughing hysterically. Artie was laughing his ass off as well. He said that was the first thing he said to him in the movie. Rickles also said ''Hagen Daas called and said you ate them down to only 5 flavors'' which kept Artie laughing during that shoot. Howard said that he was wrong about the Karate Kid movies that he was talking about earlier. Ralph did do 3 of the movies and Hillary Swank was in the fourth one. He wanted to talk more about that but he had to take a break.
A caller asked Howard if he has seen the movie ''The Punisher.'' Howard saw it and said it's horrible. He watches it on TV all the time but he doesn't think it's all that good. He saw it originally because Rebecca Romijn was in it. Daredevil is another movie he watches all the time even though he doesn't like it all that much. He thought the acting sucked but he watches it every time it comes on TV. The caller thought that Howard would have liked ''The Punisher'' movie but he was wrong. The caller also said that he heard that Nikki Cox broke up with Bobcat Golthwait and is now dating Jay Mohr. Howard said he doesn't think she looks all that good these days. Artie worked with her years ago on the Norm Show but she was only about 20 at the time. Howard said she'd have to come in and show him how good she looks these days.
Howard said that there are a couple of women there who want to come in but he's not sure he wants to let them come in. He said they're telling the guys that they're in the new ''Bad News Bears'' movie but they only show up for a short time. Howard decided to let them come in for a minute and thought they were pretty hot when he saw them. The girls play strippers from a strip club in the movie. Howard said that they're really not actors but they said that's not true and they really are actors. One of the girls said that she's a model but Howard figured there's no way she gets paid to model. She said that she has done some print campaigns and she has gotten paid to model. The girls said that a lot of their lines were cut from the movie. The girl who plays Billy Bob Thornton's girlfriend in the movie said she only has about 4 lines in the movie now.
The girls told Howard that he was invited to the premiere of the movie but he said he doesn't really have any desire to see it. He liked the original version of the movie because it had Walter Matthau. The girls said that was then and now Billy Bob Thornton is in that role. Artie said ''enough said.'' One of the girls went off on Artie for being really drunk the last time she saw him. Artie told her that's called improv.
Howard heard that the girls were making out on the red carpet of the premiere of the movie yesterday. He figures they're just trying to be outrageous but they say that's not the case. They were just having fun. Shamron told Howard about having sex at the Grotto at the Playboy mansion and she had a bunch of guys watching her and she didn't mind. She was actually in Playboy at one time. Howard tried to find out more about her home life but she didn't want to talk about it. Howard got a copy of the Playboy magazine that she appeared in and said she was really hot. Artie took back all of the stuff he was saying about her. Gary said that he heard that the girls might be willing to get topless for them but that wasn't happening.
A listener called in and told Howard to get the girls off the air because they were annoying him. Another guy told one of the girls to wipe Billy Bob off her chin and get off the air. Another guy told everyone not to go see the movie because it was going to suck just because they were in it. The girls said that the movie will be even better when it comes out on DVD because they can put their lines back in it. Ralph called in and told the girls that Playboy is porn whether or not she believes it is. Shamron said that it's not porn because her legs aren't spread. More people were calling in asking Howard to get the girls off the air. The girls eventually got pissed and Shamron stormed out after Howard said he wanted to find out if she could spell. Nectar, the other girl, was laughing when Shamron left and came back. Richard Christy called in as a duct tape distributor and asked if they could model his tape for him by putting it over their mouths. Howard thought it was pretty funny but Shamron didn't.
Howard took some more calls for the girls. The guys were brutal when they complained about how boring they were. That led to Shamron taking her top off to shut everyone up. Gary asked Nectar if she'd do the same. The caller said that the girls should be willing to do anything to get a plug on the show but they weren't doing that. Howard took another call from a guy who said that he saw that Pam Anderson is remarrying Tommy Lee for the third time. Richard Christy came in and told Shamron that he has pleasured himself to her pictures on many occasions and he doesn't get why she doesn't think it's porn. Gary told her that anything to do with nudity like that is considered pornography. She disagreed with him though. Howard let them go a short time later and as they were walking out, Artie yelled ''Show us your ass!'' Shamron did that and Howard said it was ''some ass.'' Howard said he should have done more with Shamron since she was showing them her boobs and ass.
Gary came in and said that he had some tape of Howard being interviewed by Pat O'Brien at the premiere of ''War of the Worlds.'' Howard talked about how he was actually interviewing Pat and really getting in pretty deep with him. Howard talked about that when it happened and he wasn't kidding when he said what he said. Howard told Pat that he was his hero and that he wasn't going to steal Beth to go off with Betsy. He was telling Pat that he's ''the man'' and that he has to party with him sometime. Gary said you have to see the video of this because everyone is uncomfortable except for Howard. At one point Beth says ''Honey, stop it!'' as he's talking to Pat about partying with him. Howard also said something about how he should know there are limits and then says ''Oh yeah, you don't know about limits.''
Artie was telling the guys that he's been sober for 36 days now and he knows that he'll be back to drinking eventually. Artie said that he can control his drinking. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that and then went to break. As they were going to commercial Fred was playing a bunch of the Pat O'Brien bits they created around the voice mail he left for a woman that ended up on the internet.
Howard read that Carlos' parents had 17 kids and ended up passing him along to his aunt and uncle. Carlos said his parents kept all of their other kids but passed him off for some reason. They even had a kid after him and kept that kid. Carlos is the one who makes all of the money in the family so he's the one who buys them houses and stuff and flies them around the country. He was also saying that his birth mother wonders why he doesn't come to visit her when he goes to visit the aunt and uncle that raised him. He said that he loves his birth mother though. Howard heard that he has a feud going with George Lopez. Carlos said that he's been accused of stealing jokes like Taco Bell jokes and stuff like that. He said he went to Sam Kinison one time and Kinison told him to forget about people accusing him of stealing stuff if he didn't do it.
Howard gave Carlos a couple of plugs for his TV show and DVD (Not for the Easily Offended ) and mentioned that the producer of his show is the guy who used to work with David Letterman, Robert Morton. Robin screwed up and said that it was Bob Levy at one point and Howard said that no one is letting Levy produce anything. Howard had to take another break after that before getting to Robin's news.
Carlos told Howard that he's been with his woman for 10 years and he's been married twice. He didn't bring her with him today because he wanted all of the attention for himself today. He said he'll bring her by next time he comes in. He said she's really hot and he's the one who made her hot. He said he met her when she was 19 years old. He said that the first time she gave him oral it was so great that he asked for all of the names of the guys she'd done that to so he could write them a letter and thank whoever it was who taught her how to do it. He said she freaked out when she saw the letter.
Carlos told Howard he goes to strip clubs and his favorite one is this place where they have a dancer with Down syndrome. He said that she once came out and started to dance but forgot her routine so she just stopped cold. Then she went back and started all over again. He said that she actually sat down with him and started to talk to him but he had no desire to talk to her.
There were stories about Carlos' family and how one of his brothers treated him really well before he made it big so he'll give him whatever he needs. Carlos also told a story about how his mother once told him and 2 of his sisters that they will make it big some day and the other 15 were told that they better hope that one of those three make it big. Howard had Robin start her news after that.
During the news a woman called in and said that her husband left her a few weeks ago and she thought they were very happy together. She said they raised two kids together. She was going on and on so Howard had to cut her off. He told her that she should get over it and find another guy if that guy doesn't want to be with her anymore. The woman said she knows that there is no other woman involved in this so Howard and Carlos said that's even worse because it means the guy really didn't want to be with her. The woman said she's 49 years old and she doesn't want to be with any other men. Howard ended up giving her a $500 prize and some advice on what to do before he let her go.
Late in the news Carlos told Howard a story about something that happened when he was in Catholic school and ended up getting in trouble. He said that the teacher, who was a man, got completely naked and tried to come on to him one time. Carlos' story was chopped up quite a bit by the delay hits. Carlos said the guy only did that one time. Robin finished up her news and they ended the show at around 10:50am.
Howard started off the show mentioning that Rob Zombie and his wife Sheri Moon would be coming in later on. He said they have a bunch of other stuff to get to as well. He went on to talk about Jude Law who has been in the paper over the past couple of days. He said he has to talk more about that but he also wants to replay the tape he played yesterday where he was interviewing Pat O'Brien at the premiere of ''War of the Worlds.'' He got back to the Jude Law thing and Artie said he's watched a bunch of his movies on his plane flights lately. He said he wanted to jump out the window when he saw ''Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.'' The guys talked about Jude's fiancee and the woman he cheated with. Howard mentioned that other guys have run off with their nanny's like Robin Williams and Joe Piscopo. That led to the guys talking about how hot Joe's nanny was back in the day. Howard figured that if he had a nanny, she'd look like High Pitch Eric. He talked about Jude going off on his fiancee after she found him in bed with their nanny. He blamed her for not being around as the reason for his cheating.
Gary came in and told Howard that they got a tape for an upcoming contest they're holding and this woman sent in a tape of their nanny and the chick was smokin hot. He doesn't understand how any woman would let a nanny that looks like that in their house. Howard said he's heard that women will take any nanny that gets along with their kids and they don't care what they look like. Howard also talked about jobs like that and jobs where guys get to come in and massage women. He was saying that he makes sure that he never lets Beth get a massage from a guy and will always double check to make sure they send a woman up for her. Beth has also gotten massages from women and he even gets jealous of that. Artie said he doesn't want his girlfriend to come in contact with any guy. Howard told him that he knows a guy who got a masseuse license and he ends up giving women rub downs where he goes in up as far as the knuckle in the rear. When he heard that, he told the guy that he would never let his woman get a massage from a dude.
Howard told another story about going to an event with Billy Joel because their hot chicks made them do it. They went to this dog thing called ''Yappy Hour'' one time. The caller kept interrupting so Howard let him change subjects after that. The guy said that Artie looked really miserable when he was at this DVD signing he was at one time. Artie said he was hung over at that event and he was miserable that day. He didn't know how to cheer himself up. Howard told the guy that now Artie isn't drinking and he's lost a bunch of weight. Artie is also on a bunch of medication to keep him happy. That led to Artie talking about how the Paxil he's taking is having some side effects that he doesn't like. He said he's having some problems having sex because it seems to make it hard to finish when he's doing it. That led to Howard goofing on him about the ''Baby Gorilla'' thing he was talking about during yesterday's show. He was goofing on Artie a little bit and
Double A called in and talked about some of the gay things he's done on the show for women... and wrestlers. Shuli called in and asked Howard to talk about the gayest thing he's ever done for a woman. He said he used to drive to Princeton to get laid. Artie said he once went apple picking for a woman and helped her make an apple pie after doing that. Shuli asked him if she was upset when he ate the whole pie after making it. Howard figures the gayest thing he ever did was going to that Yappy Hour thing he was talking about earlier. Shuli asked Fred if he's ever done anything gay for a woman. Howard said Fred flew down to Sarasota to get laid one time and the chick blew him off. Howard said the topper was that she told Fred that she was gay to get rid of him.
Gary came in and asked Howard if it's true that he's supposed to go to a movie screening with Beth and their dog. Howard said he's not doing that. Shuli asked Howard if he's seen any of the new season of ''Celebrity Fit Club.'' Howard hasn't watched it and he doesn't like the Bobby Brown reality show like Robin does. He said he watched one episode and he's not going back for more. Howard had to cut off the conversation so he could take a commercial break.
Howard went on to talk about the Pat O'Brien interview he played on yesterday's show. He never thought he'd get this tape because it was never played on TV. Howard went to the premiere of ''War of the Worlds'' and saw Pat doing interviews so he ran right over to him and ended up telling Pat he was his hero and goofing on him about the voice mail messages that were all over the web earlier this year. Pat held the microphone down, away from Howard because he really didn't want to talk to him. Pat actually asked Howard what was wrong with him. Beth tried to get Howard to stop at one point but he kept going. Howard told Robin he watched the tape last night and he looks like a monster coming in for the kill when he sees Pat standing there. That led to Fred playing a bunch of the song parodies and bits they created using Pat's voice mail messages.
Bong Hit Eric called in and told Howard that all of this stuff is going to be great once they move to SIRIUS. Howard said he was just thinking the same thing and told Gary to get the Pat O'Brien tapes ready to play, uncensored, over there. Howard said his favorite one is where they took clips of him and put them to the song ''Hot, Hot, Hot.'' Robin thought that they had used the clips to make a relay operator call but Sal came in and told her they never did.
Howard brought up the ''baby gorilla'' comment that Don Rickles made to Artie in ''Dirty Work'' and Artie said that he forgot one line that Rickles said to him. He said that at one point Don said to him ''Look at you, you look like a bucket of lard on a bad day.'' Artie said he has JD pulling a clip of the ''Baby Gorilla'' line from ''Dirty Work'' for them. Howard had to take another break after that.
Artie told Howard that he's working with Joey G from The Sopranos and he's obsessed with finding out what's going on with it this season but no one can give out any info. He said they're working on episode 5 right now and he really wants to know what's going on. Howard said Beth is working with Steve Schiripa so she's in the same position right now. She can't get any info out of him either.
Howard got this guy John Reznikoff on the phone. John collects celebrity hair and recently the barber that sold him Neil Armstrong's hair was threatened with a lawsuit. John told Howard that he paid about $3,000 for Armstrong's hair. He's also sold one strand of Abe Lincoln's hair for $1,000. John also said that Richard Nixon would send you hair if you asked for it. Howard read that the Lincoln hair he has still has dried blood and skin from the night he was shot. Howard doesn't understand how he gets this stuff. John told Howard he will only get the hair of people who have some historical significance.
John says that he has a DNA history of some really famous people. He has John Wilkes Booth, John Dillinger, Robert E. Lee and Beethoven among others. He said he doesn't usually go after live people but he will take it. He said he'd like to have some of Howard's hair. John also owns the last car John F. Kennedy got out of alive. He tried to sell it on www.ebay.com at one point but he ended up keeping it. Howard read that he owns Monica Lewinsky's black dress but not the red one. Artie suggested that he use the dress as a car cover for the Kennedy car.
Howard wondered if John would give Neil Armstrong his hair back if it's distressing him that much. John said he wants to keep it and it was a legitimate transaction so he's going to try and hold onto it. Howard wrapped up after that and gave John a plug for his web site UniversityArchives.com.
Howard said he had his studio built near the gay channel over there because he knows he'll be there all the time. He played tape of a call Richard Christy made to the channel one day. He also had audio from Cousin Brucie's first show. He said that Jim Breuer told him that no one really cares what anyone does on their shows over there. Howard will have a delay button to hit if he needs to but it's just for comments that might libel someone. Other than that, no one really cares what they do on the air. Gary came in and told Howard that he's been told that they are listening to what Jim does over there. Howard got back to the Cousin Brucie thing and he's now doing a talk show. Gary said that Brucie hasn't officially started there, he was just doing a special show from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard played more of the tape and Brucie's co-host told him that Howard had dinner with Billy Joel at one point and Brucie sounded surprised at that. Howard is looking forward to working with Brucie over there at SIRIUS but Brucie said that he and Howard are like oil and water, they don't mix. Alan Alda called in and left a message for Brucie but it was pre-taped. Brucie tried to make it seem like he was actually on the phone. Howard goofed around doing an impression of Brucie for a few minutes after listening to the audio clips. Gary said that Brucie seems like a nice guy and he's looking forward to working with him just like Howard is. The Cousin Brucie clip went on and on for quite a while. AT one point the audio cut out and Howard thought it was his own CD player. It turned out it was a problem that Brucie's people were having with their equipment. Howard said he could listen to that stuff all day long but he had to take a commercial break.
Howard brought up Oprah Winfrey because she got an interview with a celebrity who was dying. Howard said he went to see Gilbert Gottfried when he was in the hospital and he thought he was dying. He figured that if Gilbert had died, he would have been the one who was the guy who was bedside with him when he died. He also went to see Al Sharpton when he was in the hospital one time and he didn't die either. Howard figures he should have used a pillow to smother them. Howard read an article about Oprah spending a lot of time with Luther Vandross during the last 2 years of his life. He spent a couple of minutes having some fun talking about how he should try to find a sick person to visit before they die. He mentioned Grandpa Al Lewis as being one person he could visit.
Howard said they got a lot of hate mail about the comments he made about how they could ride a bicycle just as well as any of the guys in the Tour de France. That led to the guys talking about how the crowds who watch the race get way too close to the riders and one guy got punched in the face by a clown. Howard read an e-mail that one person sent to Artie about how many miles those guys do in the Tour. Another person said he likes that Artie has a new nickname... Baby Gorilla. Howard said he got a lot of mail about Carlos Mencia who was on the show yesterday. People liked the stories he was telling and hated that Ralph called in and said that he was a bad guest. Someone thought that Howard was trying to sabotage Artie's recovery by talking about how much he enjoys drinking. There were some compliments in the mail about Howard's interview with Pat O'Brien.
Howard read that the band Cream is planning another reunion concert for New York City. Howard said he'll go to that concert no matter what night it is... but he hopes it's on a Friday. He read the article he saw about it and spent a couple of minutes talking about the songs he wants to hear them perform. He wanted to play some of their music but he was having trouble getting his computer up and running. He told Gary that they should get the computer to work in a way that they don't have to reboot the thing every time he wants to use it. He was also complaining about having to see Gary's lips and teeth when he's upset. He played one of their songs but it was one of the worst ones he could find. He cut that off and found a better one. He played a bunch of quick clips of his favorite songs. He had to go to break before bringing in Rob Zombie.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man has a chick who is in love with Rob so he brought her in to meet him to impress her. Dan brought in his friend Michelle and introduced the two of them. Dan also wanted to say something to Michelle while she was there. Dan told everyone that Michelle is a huge fan of Rob's and then told everyone that Dan and Michelle dated at one point and then broke up. He tried to get back together with her and found out that she had fallen for one of his best friends. Howard went on to read some e-mails that Dan sent to everyone there when he was out for a couple of days pursuing this girl. He wondered who he has working for him when he reads stuff like that. He told Dan that he should never put that stuff on paper. Gary told Howard that Dan is having trouble concentrating on work because of this stuff. Howard told Dan that he's making a fool out of himself and he doesn't know why. He said that he shouldn't be busting his balls for this girl if she's not even banging him. All he's going to get now is more heartache because she's not going to come back to him. Some of the guys think that Michelle is using Dan. Gary asked her why she still hangs out with him if she's not dating him. Michelle said that she's good friends with him and she didn't know all of this stuff was going on. Howard told Dan to ask her to marry him if he's that in love with her. Dan said he doesn't want to hear ''no'' right now and he knows that's what she'd say to him. Howard asked Michelle if she would marry Dan's friend if he asked. She said she would and that seemed to make things worse. He also asked her if she would marry Rob Zombie. She said ''yes'' to that one as well.
As they were talking about this you could hear Ronnie the Limo Driver out in the hall laughing his ass off at Dan. He and Dan don't have the best relationship. Howard asked Michelle why she stopped seeing Dan. She didn't want to talk about it though. Howard told Dan that he was going to give him the chance to say whatever he wanted to say to Michelle. Dan said she knows how he feels and he's still madly in love with her. He feels that he's been less productive at work lately and he can't enjoy doing anything these days because of it. Dan told Howard that he loves every minute he spends with this girl, even when they're just doing it as friends. Robin asked Dan what he does on the days he takes off over this relationship. Dan said that he just does stuff and doesn't enjoy himself. He said he hasn't been with any other girls since he started dating Michelle so he hasn't dated anyone since May or June of 2004.
Howard let Michelle say a few words to Rob. Dan said that he'll be taking Michelle to Ozzfest later in the week and Howard doesn't get it. Howard told Dan to cut it off already and stop seeing her. He thinks that Dan could find another chick if he wanted to. Ralph called in a minute later and told Dan to drop this chick because she's a self-centered bitch. Dan isn't going to stop hanging out with her though, he enjoys her company. Bong Hit Eric called in and asked if he needs to see Rob's last movie to know what's going on in this new movie ''The Devil's Rejects.'' Rob told him he doesn't have to watch the last movie, but he should buy it.
Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and told Dan what a pathetic person he is. He said that this girl Michelle should stop torturing him as well. Ronnie asked him what he's doing to himself. Howard showed off some of Dan's talent by playing his remix of ''Dragula'' called ''Duckula.'' That's where he took Rob's song ''Dragula'' and put some porn gagging clips to the music. Howard was done with Dan and Michelle so he let them go and gave Rob a plug for his new movie ''The Devil's Rejects.'' Sheri is in the movie and she does show her ass at one point. She said that she pulls them down and yells ''Shoot me in the ass'' in the scene she was talking about. Rob wrote and directed the movie so Howard asked him if he wrote that line. Of course he did. Rob said that there is quite a bit of nudity in the movie and he's surprised that he got an R rating and not an NC-17. Howard was hoping that there would be a premiere to go to but Rob told him that Lions Gate believes that premieres are a waste of money. The movie had a $7 million budget but Sheri said they learned where to spend it so it looks like it cost a lot more.
Sheri told Howard that they got a black dog that she wanted to name ''Blackula'' but Rob thought that would be a bad idea so they named it ''Dracula.'' Rob told Howard that running around the neighborhood yelling ''Blackula'' might upset some people. Howard took a phone call from a guy who asked Rob about the Ozzfest concert but Rob said he doesn't know much about it. Rob said he's working on a new album that's almost done. Howard asked him why he didn't work with him on the new album like they did for the Private Parts soundtrack. Rob said he could work on the second worst selling song of his career. Howard and Rob both thought their song ''Great American Nightmare'' was pretty good. Rob said he put the song on his Greatest Hits album. Howard wrapped up with Rob after that and went to commercial break.
Late in the show Debbie Schlussel called in to talk about the new Supreme Court nominee but Howard told her that it was too late to get into it today. Debbie said she'd call back tomorrow. Howard ended the show around 10:45am.
Howard started off the morning mentioning that Captain Janks would be stopping in to mark his 16th anniversary with the show. Howard thought he was just a phone caller and didn't know that he'd joined the show. Robin asked Howard what number he wants to tattoo on his arm to celebrate the time he's been in the business. Howard isn't even sure how many years it's been. He said he told his daughter that he was going to put 38 years on there but he thought he'd gotten that number from Robin. He tried to do the math with Robin and started at 1977. He found that it was only 28 years, not 38. He said he could have said ''that's how long he feels like he's been in radio'' if he had gotten that 38.
Howard said that Gary went out and got a copy of ''Dirty Work'' after hearing the story that Artie told earlier in the week about Don Rickles goofing on him and calling him a ''baby gorilla'' at one point. It was a line that he improved for the movie and everyone found it to be really funny. Howard said he wants to watch the movie if that's how funny it was. Artie said there are a lot of people who like that movie. Howard continued on and said that Bob Saget directed the movie and couldn't get Rickles to do what he wanted. Howard has seen the scene where Rickles calls Artie a baby gorilla and it comes out so genuine. He played the audio from that scene and got a few laughs from it. Artie said that Rickles was coming out with lines like that through the whole scene and they didn't know what he was doing. Artie was able to hold in his laughs but Norm MacDonald was unable to hold back and laughed through every scene they shot. They had to acknowledge the laughter so Don asked Norm why he was laughing at one point. Norm says he found it funny when he was talking to his friend's belly.
Artie told a story about this one kid, Darcy, who worked on the movie and didn't know who Rickles was. Rickles was goofing on him on the set and Darcy had no idea who the guy was. Artie said that Rickles was doing an effeminate voice and saying his name over and over. Artie said Rickles once told him ''You were good in that scene, good luck in construction.'' Howard had to take one last listen to the scene that he'd just listened to. Howard, Artie and Robin were laughing pretty hard during the minute long clip. Artie said he and Norm tried to figure out what Don was talking about during the scene and it made it even funnier. Rickles tells Artie that ''Baskin Robins called and said that they're down to just 5 flavors'' thanks to him. Artie told Howard that in the movie their revenge on Rickles character by putting gay porn in his theater.
Howard said he had Don Rickles on the show one time and he was all serious and down while he was on. Howard later heard that Don was intimidated by him and that's why he doesn't do the show. Artie said that during the movie shoot, Bob Saget would give them notes between scenes and Rickles would say ''Wait a minute, wait a minute... I'm trying to forget Saget's notes.'' Howard told the guys that John Stamos claims that he hangs out with Rickles. He doesn't think that makes much sense and can't imagine that his stories are true. Artie remembered that Norm wanted to get Howard to play the devil in the movie but he turned it down and Adam Sandler ended up playing the part. Howard remembered getting the script and not being able to make much sense of it.
Artie said that when Don met Bob Saget for the first time he said to him ''I just told Marty Scorsese that Bob Saget is directing a movie, the man grabbed his chest.'' Howard remembered how down Rickles was when he was on the show and kind of blamed Fred for staring at the guy too much. Howard said he didn't expect to spend that much time talking about ''Dirty Work.'' Artie remembered going out with Norm MacDonald to promote the movie and how he wasn't all that thrilled to do it. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard had a prank call they made to G. Gordon Liddy over at SIRIUS. He played the call yesterday and replayed it again today. Sal the Stockbroker called his show as ''Schlomo'' and then put his brother on the line. The brother was actually old audio clips of Crackhead Bob. Sal explained to Liddy that Bob had some brain damage after being caught by Al Queda and then released. Liddy hangs up on him after telling him he's having trouble understanding him.
A phone caller told Howard that he wanted to tell him how great he was since no one does that these days. He said he appreciates everything he does for his audience. Howard thanked the guy for calling in. He went on to talk about how the guys in the back have been making prank calls to a lot of the stations over at SIRIUS lately. He played another one that Richard Christy made to the gay channel over there. Richard tired to shock the guys on that station but nothing he said worked. Another phone caller told Howard that it's really easy to get through on the phones for the channels over at SIRIUS since there aren't that many listeners. Howard said he heard that someone over there wanted to do a radio contest but she wasn't able to get a sponsor through the company so she had to go out on her own and get it. Howard told Fred he'd better get a suit and a briefcase so he can go out and get them some advertising.
Gary came in and asked Eric if it was true that he has a degree in restaurant managing. Eric said that is true but it's a correspondance course that he took. Robin asked Eric what his plans are if his parents pass away. Eric said he has friends who will help him out if anything happens to them. Howard let him go a short time later.
Bong Hit Eric called in and told Howard that he thought the whole David Lee Roth thing was genius earlier this week. He said that it makes people realize that Howard isn't going to be on terrestrial radio pretty soon. It was like a reality check for some people. Eric did a bong hit for the guys while he was on the line. He hung up on him and took another call from a guy who brought up this dance show that was on last night. Howard didn't watch it because he was busy catching up on the INXS reality show. He said that Brooke Burke is horrible on that show and he appreciates Ryan Seacrest more now that he's seen how horrible she is. He was also saying that Dave Navarro must be kind of gay because he's always wearing boas and stuff and never wears a shirt on the show. He said he likes the guy but he might be ''half a fag.'' He had to take another break after that.
Gary got his hands on the notes he had about Doohan's appearance on the show. He said that they wrote that Doohan was upset that he was a trained actor and Shatner wasn't. There were a few other things in the notes about why he disliked Shatner so much. Gary said he had a story about Doohan that he can tell now that he's dead. He had a friend who helped write a book with Doohan and he told him about how there were different levels of Scotty's memorabilia and one of the items was a piece of his kilt. The guy told him that Doohan had a whole roll of kilt material that he would sell.
Gary said that he had a rash on his ass after walking home after his exam one time. He said that he didn't know what kind of mess he was going to have. Howard went on to brag about how his doctor told him that his cholesterol was the lowest his doctor had ever seen on a patient. He wasn't sure what the numbers were but thought they might be below 100. Artie said he was tested recently and had the guys guessing what his number was. Artie said that he's at 206 but he was up to 263 about 4 years ago. He lowered it after losing some weight.
Scott the Engineer came in and told Howard he went for a prostate exam and the doctor didn't have to stick his finger up there, he used a sonar-like device so they didn't have to stick anything inside him. The guys ended up goofing around with Scott and did their impressions of Don Rickles. That led to Howard replaying the clip he played earlier in the show from ''Dirty Work.'' Howard wondered if Don did all of that stuff in one take or if it was pieced together. Artie said they kind of pieced it together. He said at one point Rickles said that he looked like ''a whale in Alaska'' and then told Norm to go up to Alaska and suck on a whale. He said he thinks that they put some of those out takes on the ''Dirty Work'' DVD. Howard played a few George Takei bits after that.
A listener called in and asked Howard what SIRIUS is going to do with his show when he moves. Howard wasn't sure how they're going to handle it but they'll probably replay it during the day. The caller was also asking Artie if he's going to do the comedy shows he's booked for in September. Artie said there are 2 charity shows that he wanted to keep so he will be doing a Delaware show and a Connecticut show. He's planning on doing them without drinking anything. He said he will concentrate on eating instead. He also said he probably won't be having the big group of wack packers back stage with him at the shows anymore.
Howard played some more audio of George Takei talking about the death of James Doohan. Takei was talking about the last time he saw Doohan. That was last year sometime and it was at some event called ''Beam Me Up Scotty, One More Time.'' There was also a prank call the guys created using clips of George Takei talking about his wang and stuff like that.
Mike Walker called in to talk about Takei's bizarre pronunciation of ''consumate.'' He said that it's not pronounced the way Takei pronounced it. Tom came in and told Howard that there are two pronunciations for the word and both are right. Howard thanked Mike for calling in and let him go a short time later. That led to Howard playing a prank call the guys made using clips of Mike Walker. They called a guy out in the mid-west and had Mike talking to him and making him laugh with his laughter.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he used to get prostate exams and his doctor would use lidocane in the lube so his ass would be numb. That meant that he couldn't feel anything back there and it would feel like he was going to mess down his leg the whole time it was numb. He said when the lidocane would wear off, it would feel like he'd been gang raped back there. Howard let the guy go and got back to the Takei audio clip. Gary came in with a tape of an interview that James Doohan did last year sometime. He was pretty out of it back then. Howard said he felt bad for the guy. While they were talking about that the guys caught a whiff of some kind of meat so they thought Benjy was eating something. Benjy denied it so Gary said it could be the air conditioning vents sending the smell in there. Howard got back to the James Doohan tape and talked about what he might be like at the age of 85. He replayed the G. Gordon Liddy prank call that he'd just played a little earlier. They took a commercial break a short time later.
Andrea said that she's not a retard but she's not able to think when it comes to this intelligence contest. She's scared that she's going to lose to Wendy the Retard and she would be ''ruined'' if that happened. Howard told her that the prize for the winner is $5,000. Wendy the Retard came in after that and said that she's letting her hair grow. She colored it last night and it was reddish purple instead of brown. Howard asked her if she could beat Andrea in this contest. Wendy is very confident and said that she went to a regular high school and a special school when she was growing up. Andrea was stripping down while that was going on because she was hot. Wendy told the guys that she just turned 25 years old. That led to Howard asking her if it would be legal for him to have sex with her. Wendy thinks that it would be fine. She also told Howard that she wanted to say hello to her brother who is in prison for driving someone's truck without their permission. Howard asked her if she's still a virgin. Wendy said she is still a virgin and didn't have sex with Gary the Retard like Andrea thought.
Richard asked Howard if they could get the girls into bikinis for this contest. Andrea didn't want to do it but Wendy was willing to. Howard figured they'd pass on it today since they didn't have the E! cameras there anymore. Gary said he thought he heard Andrea say that she'd take her top off. Andrea didn't say that and said it would take a whole bottle of Petrone to get her loose enough to take it off on the beach. Howard wondered if Wendy could do a lap dance. Andrea was willing to teach her but Howard went Benjy over to get one from her. Benjy sat on the couch and Wendy gave him the lap dance. Howard wondered why there was no TV camera there for that. Wendy tried to go in for a kiss from Benjy but he turned away. Howard told her that she shouldn't do that. Andrea warned her that she could get herpes doing that. Howard had Andrea give Benjy a lap dance as well and she was good according to Howard and Artie. Benjy said she was good with the knee.
Howard moved on to the game. Andrea was scared and wanted a lifeline to help her out. Howard wouldn't give her one though. Here are each of the girls questions and answers:
The caller Howard had on the line asked him if he was doing 4 or 5 days over at SIRIUS. Howard told him that he's doing 4 days but they have something planned for Friday's when they make the move over there. He said we'd learn more about that when he makes the move. Howard started to wrap up and asked Wendy if she could point to her shins. She pointed to her chin. Howard asked Andrea to do it. She pointed to her elbow. Wendy went on to tell Howard that she's been on a diet and is down to about 185 pounds. She was up over 200 before the diet. Howard had to end the segment but Wendy and Andrea kept going on and on about a bunch of nonsense. Andrea didn't want to leave so Howard told her the only way she could stay is if she was naked. Andrea said she'd do that for Howard but not for everyone else. Howard went to break after that.
Janks was thinking of making some prank calls to CNN this morning after the London bombings but he figured he wouldn't be able to get through. Robin told him that it turned out that it's not as serious as they thought at first so there were no deaths. Janks went on to plug his DVD that's available at CaptainJanks.tk. He said there are 40 calls on the DVD.
Kenneth Keith Kallenbach called in and congratulated Janks on the new DVD. Howard said that Janks has been getting his name out there for years and thanked him for that. He's also one of the only guys left from the prank callers that were around years ago. King of All Messengers had to stop making his calls because his wife threatened to leave him if he didn't stop. Janks said there was another guy, King of Cable, who gave up. Ponce De La Phone disappeared for some reason. Janks said the King of Cable had to stop because his mom made him. Janks is ramping up for a new round of calls to help promote Howard moving to satellite radio. He said some nice words about WYSP that's been carrying Howard's show for a long time now. He said it's kind of sad that they're leaving. Janks was at many of the funerals they held around the country. He remembered the days when he was dating John Debella's wife and goofing on him. Howard went through some of the great calls that Janks has done over the years. Robin remembered the days when Janks would put on an accent when he made the prank calls. Janks said he only did that so the screeners wouldn't recognize him.
Janks will be holding a couple of DVD release parties for his DVD over the next week or so. He said he'll be at Toners Beef and Ale in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania tomorrow night. He'll also be at The Smoked Joint in Philly next Tuesday, the 26th. Howard gave Janks a $500 prize as a gift for his years of prank calls. He also remembered the years when Janks wasn't making calls. Janks said that he was in a kayaking accident one day and that's when he has a vision to start doing the prank calls again.
Howard took a call from a guy who claims that he used to manage Janks and he used to have a partner who would help him out with the calls. Janks said that this guy is a wacko. John said that Janks used to work with this guy Mark who would make the calls for him. John also claims that ''Janks'' wasn't the name of someone that Janks knew, it was slang for turds. Janks said that's not true either. John said that Janks isn't poor either. He claims that his father gives him a thousand bucks every week. Janks said that wasn't true either. John was claiming that he helped create the Captain Janks character but Janks denied that as well. John brought up one thing that Janks agreed with. They got a call from the head of CNN and were threatened over the calls. John was claiming that Janks was lying about a few things like the Larry King story he was telling about going to his studio and getting taken away by security. Howard hung up on John after a few minutes and Janks went on to say that the guy is basically a jerk off and he's chased away many of his friends.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann told Janks that she loved the Florence Henderson call he made one time. She wished him continued success after that. Howard gave Janks another plug for his web site, CaptainJanks.tk, and some plugs for those appearances he's making. Janks got in another plug for the trivia nights he hosts Wednesday nights at the Tex Mex Connection in North Whales, Pennsylvania as well. Fred played a Captain Janks call where he pretended to be Bob Hope's comedy writer and told the reporter that he died choking on Howard Stern's ball sack. He played a couple of others after that as well. Janks called into a homework help show and asked them what the square root of Howard Stern's asshole is. Howard got a few laughs out of that one. Howard said that the guys over at SIRIUS probably won't be doing any promotion for his show so they're going to be relying on Janks to get the word out. Fred played Janks' prank call to Rosie O'Donnell and Howard said that they should take all of Janks' calls and get the clips of the TV hosts calling him names. Fred played one call where Janks told a news reporter that Princess Dianna was on her way to get a copy of Howard's movie ''Private Parts.'' There was also a call Janks made to Dan Rather during the Space Shuttle crash coverage. Rather didn't understand that it was a prank call and tried to talk to Janks move even after he said that one of the shuttle pieces landed in his yard and looked like one of Baba Booey's teeth. Howard congratulated Janks and said he's looking forward to his future calls.
Vinnie Favale called in and mentioned a call that was great, but wasn't one of Janks'. The call was the one to Peter Jennings during the OJ Simpson coverage. Janks said that call was a great one and it was done by this guy Maurey who only made a couple of prank calls. Vinnie asked them to play a couple of Janks' other calls that he really liked. He wanted to hear the one where Janks called into a CP telethon and said he was Kathie Lee Gifford and wanted to ''make monkey love'' to Howard Stern. Howard wrapped up after that call and went to commercial.
Howard started off the show saying that he has to be out of there at 10am this morning because he's got stuff going on. He didn't want to delay the show in any way so he wanted to get right into it. He wasn't just wanting to get out of there at 10 for no reason. He said he has some family stuff he has to do.
Howard wondered how he missed Cabbie's rampage through the halls earlier in the morning. Robin said she heard him doing an almost tearful goodbye on the air earlier this morning. Cabbie came in explaining his tattoos to Artie and Howard. Gary wondered if he'll ever get his face tattooed. Cabbie said he'll never go there and Mike Tyson offended a lot of people when he got his face tattooed. Cabbie said he'll go everywhere but the face. Howard said he's just about at the face because his whole neck is covered. He suggested that Cabbie stop doing that stuff and maybe people will stop calling him crazy. Cabbie said he's going to live with the Crazy thing the rest of his life. Cabbie mentioned that some day his son will be able to skin him and hang his skin on the wall. Howard wondered about that and pointed out that he's giving away his dog while he goes to prison next week. The dog is going to a new home with a guy Cabbie knows and he may not take the dog back when he gets out of prison. Cabbie said this guy is an upstanding guy and the guy would even let him bring the dog in his store when he'd be out walking him. Cabbie said the guy was the first person to offer to take the dog.
Gary said that when Cabbie told him that he wanted visitation rights and said that he wasn't sure he'd be able to take him back when he got out. That's what scared him off. Gary also talked about bringing his kids up to the station one time and Cabbie's tattooed legs scared the crap out of his youngest, Jackson. The kid slammed the door when he saw Cabbie heading toward him. Cabbie said Gary's wife wasn't afraid of him and came right up to him.
Cabbie told Howard that next week he'll be doing the afternoon shift with Booker because Booker's ratings dropped a little bit in the last ratings book. He said he won't be doing the overnight shift anymore and next week will be the last week for him on the air. He's probably going to prison next week. Cabbie was bragging about what a ratings giant he is and how his show went from a 3.3 rating to a 6.2. Tom told Cabbie that Booker's show didn't take a dip in the ratings like Cabbie said. Cabbie said that Booker told him that's what happened though. That led to Howard talking about how Ralph asked him if it was okay with him if he sat in on the Booker show. Howard doesn't care if he does but wondered why Booker would have him on his show. Gary told Howard that Booker is auditioning producers for his show and he'll take just about anyone. Cabbie gave some other ratings for his show but Tom said that the overnight ratings tend to swing up and down and right now Cabbie's are up. Tom was saying that Cabbie doesn't do every overnight shift so maybe his ratings aren't all that accurate. Cabbie asked Tom not to take away from his glory. He claims he has been working up to 6 nights a week on that shift.
Cabbie talked about how tough it's going to be to make phone calls once he gets in there. Artie remembers when he was in jail for a couple of days and how he waited in line for an hour to call his bookie to let him know he wasn't going to be able to get him his money. Cabbie mentioned that his web site should be up by the end of the week. That site is FreeCabbie.com. Cabbie said that he'll have a members only section on the site and he'll probably charge about five bucks to get into that. Tom suggested that he not post explicit pictures from the station that were taken years ago. Cabbie claims that he doesn't know what Tom is talking about but Tom said he has to know what he's talking about and those pictures better not exist.
Howard congratulated Cabbie on his ratings bonanza. Cabbie said that they're supposed to be hiring some big guns to take over for him. Dead Air Dave's name came up but he has to hit the delay on Howard's show every morning so he can't do too many of those. Cabbie may be back next Friday to say goodbye since he may be going to prison that day. Cabbie is hoping to have a contract by then to come back to the station next year. Tom said he'll be talking to Cabbie's agent and hopes to have him back. Cabbie claims that he knows who's coming in to replace him. He said that Nick Carter from Boston, Kevin Kline and Lazlo are supposed to be replacing him. Artie wondered if there was any way Cabbie could stay and maybe Lazlo could go to prison for him.
Cabbie's jail time is coming because he admitted on the air that he didn't pay his taxes. Cabbie told Howard that it's actually best that this is happening now because the laws are changing and pretty soon it would be a felony. He could have ended up doing a lot more time than he will be. Howard played some tape of Cabbie talking about how he wasn't paying his taxes. That's what led to all of this stuff. Howard played another clip where they talked about how the feds came to Gary and asked for tape and other information about Cabbie. Cabbie mentioned that this wasn't a felony so he can still own a gun and vote. Artie can't do that because he was charged with a felony, possession of cocaine. Howard had to take a break after that.
Howard talked about how his E! show came to an end recently. Robin Radzinski held a goodbye party last night but Howard didn't want to celebrate that it was gone. He said that he had something else going on that night but Radzinski kept it on the same night. He said he didn't think that it was all that positive and didn't want to celebrate it. He said he'll be talking about his departure from E! in a couple of weeks. He also says that it's not the end for them because he may be back, maybe not on E!, but they'll be back. Gary told Howard about the picture show that Robin Radzinski did at the party last night. She had pictures from the past years where you could see the hair disappear from Mike Gange's head and stuff like that. Gary also said that Howard's agent was there. Gary and Robin were the only ones who showed up from the show. Fred wasn't there but he said he doesn't think he was invited. Gary said everyone was invited but Fred said that he didn't know about it. Gary told Howard that there were people asking where Howard was. Howard said he was busy trying to put together the next thing for them so that's why he couldn't make it. Artie said that Scott DePace visited the movie set the other day and he looks like a Kennedy with a nice tan. He looks really relaxed.
Gary said he overheard one guy saying that they were surprised that Howard wasn't there. Howard said he told Radzinski that he couldn't make it on a Thursday night but she didn't think it was a big deal and wouldn't change the night. He also said that he really was working on getting those guys a new show to work on so they shouldn't be upset about it. Robin said that Richard Christy was there with a good looking girl but Gary told her that he doesn't think that it was serious because Ralph had her in a corner talking to her. Artie said that Ralph is a mother f'er because he's always busy trying to steal other guys broads.
A couple of the girls have stories about hanging out with celebrities. Howard said that he saw J.D. out in the hall rolling his eyes into the back of his head while he was looking at the hot interns. Gary told Howard that J.D. finally had a drink last night. J.D. Said he had a really gay drink, a Mailbu Bay Breeze, so Artie asked him if he had a side of penis with that. Howard said he heard that J.D. goes out to smoke now as well. J.D. Said he just goes out to talk to Claudia when she goes out to smoke. J.D. Said that he thinks all of the girls are beautiful but Howard and Gary asked him to pick one as his favorite. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that it's got to be Claudia. He said J.D. Hangs out with them all day. J.D. Said that Claudia was interested in one of the guys from E!, one of the good looking guys. Howard asked the girls if he was too old to be with any of them. The girls said that they like the way Howard looks these days and they think that he's better off without Ralph's styling.
The girls were talking about Howard's girlfriend so Howard brought up how they have a bunch of ass shots of her in the latest issue of FHM. Gary said he hadn't opened his yet so he went to get it from his office. Howard found out that the girls are 18, 19 and 21 years old. Gary came in and interrupted because one of the shots of Beth was her without any clothes on her ass. He said she's got a great ass but Howard told him that Beth thinks she doesn't have a good ass. One of the interns said she really likes Beth and wants to sit next to her when she comes in later this morning. Howard feels bad for J.D. and asked Claudia if he has a chance with him. Claudia was skirting around the issue and wouldn't give a straight answer. Gary said that this happens to J.D. every semester. He zeros in on one girl and becomes her ''friend'' and that's as far as it goes. Howard said that J.D. is looking good these days because he's dressing good. Claudia said she got a call from him the other day and he was looking for some advice on jeans. J.D. Said Beth had him get these tight jeans that he can't wear so he was looking for advice on what to buy. Howard had to take another break after that. He told the girls to stay young and fresh and to always remember his address.
Gary came in and said that he heard that Ronnie was drinking quite a bit last night. Ronnie said that he was just having a good time. There were also stories about Ronnie not letting people talk to one of the interns at the party they were at last night. Jason came in and said that Ronnie was all over her and kept touching her hair and putting his arm around her waist. There were also people saying that he was telling the girl that the guy she was there to see was a jerk. Jason said that someone went up to the girl last night and Ronnie told him to keep his hands off her. Ronnie wondered what was wrong with Jason and went off on him and some of the other people who were picking on him. Will came in and told Howard that Ronnie was all over Aries' girlfriend last night and told her to ''lose this homo and come with me.'' Artie said that's a great line and he's used it before.
Howard said that when the interns came in earlier Ronnie and Dan were answering the phones. Sal and Richard called up and recorded some of the calls. Richard called in and pretended to be a guy who banged an old lady. Ronnie ended up hanging up on him. They also called Dan and Dan ended up getting into a long conversation with Sal about the girl who was on the show with him yesterday. Dan hung up on him a couple of times. Dan came in a minute later and Howard said that Dan wants to post something on his web site about that girl that was on the show yesterday. He told Dan that he's got to get over it. Dan thinks that she's still in love with him and she just needs to work out some issues. Dan knows that he's a mess right now and he has to get over all of this.
Howard mentioned that Siobhan the transsexual will be coming in later to show off her tomahawk wound. He said they have a bunch of other stuff to do but he was going to take a commercial break. He ended up getting sidetracked when he took some phone calls. One guy called in and told Howard how great his satellite radio is and how he heard Jackie the Joke Man on the Raw Dawg comedy channel this morning. Howard said there's nothing wrong with that. He told Artie that's a station where they play uncensored comedy bits from a lot of different comedians. Howard went to break a short time after that.
Howard played an audio clip from an old move where a mother and daughter talk about menstruation. The delay button was hit multiple times during the clip. Howard moved on to talk about the bombings in London and how they're going to start searching backpacks here in the U.S. The ACLU is saying that there had better not be any profiling going on over this stuff and Howard doesn't know how that's going to happen. He said the people who are really going to suffer are the pot dealers in the city. Artie and Robin don't think that terrorists can be stopped because if they really want to blow people up, they will get the job done. Howard said that terrorists can be stopped, they need to deport certain people from this country. He also said that we have to demand that the people over in Pakistan deliver Osama bin Laden or we'll drop a nuclear bomb on them. We may have to drop one bomb but that will scare them to the point where they'll deliver Osama. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that before moving on to other stuff.
Howard had some audio of Tyra Banks talking about her new talk show on ''Extra'' last night. She said that she'll be talking to every day people with every day problems. She'll also throw in some celebrities of course. Howard had some other audio clips to play including the prank call they made to G. Gordon Liddy on SIRIUS. Howard ended up talking about the move to SIRIUS and how they're going to have a lot of freedom over there. He said they're so happy that he's coming that they blew out people's offices to make room for his new studio. He also thinks that he'll be able to say anything as long as it's not illegal or libelous. He'll have a delay button to hit but it's all his and he can decide whether or not to hit it. Howard played that G. Gordon Liddy prank call that Sal made using clips of Crackhead Bob. Howard and Artie had some fun goofing around with the clip as they were playing it. Sal came in and told Howard that Liddy now has a voice mail message where they tell people to leave their number so they can call them back. Howard played that clip and then left a phony message for him.
Howard said that Siobhan is going to use a vibrator to pleasure herself on the air. He had her go over to a chair to do it and he was kind of bummed that they didn't have E! cameras there anymore to cover it. Gary told Howard that Siobhan has verrucose veins in her legs. She said she's almost 50 years old so of course she does. Howard was going to get Mike Walker on the phone to get that out of the way but he seemed kind of fascinated by her vibrating herself. Artie said he'd seen enough after about 30 seconds. Howard said he was done as well and he was ready to stop the whole thing. She was doing it over her panties and Howard thought it looked disgusting. Howard said it looked as if they left ''a little bit of balls down there.'' Hook Nose Mike called in and said that it was kind of funny that this person is both a grandmother and a father at the same time. Siobhan has a grandchild and a daughter. The guys watched as Siobhan continued to vibrate herself. She continued to talk during the pleasuring as if nothing was going on.
Howard took a call from Modeling Max the intern who asked Howard if he would rather tongue kiss his mother or touch Siobhan. Howard said he'd rather kiss his mother. He asked Siobhan to stop because it was 7 minutes in and nothing had happened. He gave her a $500 prize for coming in since she has been going through some tough times lately. The money was courtesy of ''The Devil's Rejects.'' Siobhan got in a plug for ArtMonkeyRecords.com which is where you can hear some of her band's CDs. Captain Janks called in a short time later and reminded Howard how Siobhan had gone through Jackie the Joke Man's phone book and found everyone's phone numbers. Howard also said that Siobhan tried to go after Gary when they were at a party one time. She tried to kiss Gary one time and Gary had to push him off. Janks told Howard that he has about 200 people who are going to help him make prank calls to help promote Howard's move to SIRIUS later this year.
Howard asked Beth to stand up so the interns could check her out. Beth didn't want to do that but she said that both of the girls were beautiful. Artie told the girls to forget about Beth, he wanted to introduce them to a girl named Vicodin. Richard Christy came in and asked the girls if they would have sex with Tom. The girls said that he was taking it too far at that point. Ralph called in a minute later and said that Tom doesn't pay these poor kids and he's trying to ruin their fun. Tom said they're there to get an education. Bong Hit Eric called in and told Beth she looks great in that magazine. He asked Howard if he could post a picture of all of the girls on his web site but none of them were ready to be photographed today. He had to take a break so the fun was stopped for a few minutes. After the break Howard had Robin finish up her news. They ended the show around 10:15am