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Howard said he could listen to that guy all day long. The laugh was hilarious and he did it after almost every answer he gave. After that Howard moved on and played the tape of Gary interviewing Ricardo Montalban. Here are a few of those questions:
Howard kept saying that Sean doesn't have to really work for anything in his life because his mother has Beatles money and she'll pay the bills. He said that he's trying to get his music career going so he can make his own money.
Sean and Howard got into an argument about the FCC rules about cursing on the air. Sean said he thought Howard was a rebel and he curses on the show more. Howard had to explain to him that there are rules and he has to obey them because he has to make a living doing what he does. Robin told Sean that's the difference between the two of them. Howard has to work for his money so he has to obey rules. Sean refused to listen to them and continued to curse which showed how he doesn't seem to care about following rules.
Howard said that he saw Sean at a party one time and neither of them went up to each other. Sean thought that Howard didn't like him because he goofs on his music. Howard told him just because he doesn't like his music doesn't mean that he doesn't like him as a person. Both of them said that they could hang out with each other if they meet somewhere sometime. Howard told Sean that he shouldn't be afraid to come up to him at a party. Sean told Howard he could hang with him out in L.A. next time he's there. Howard had to take a break because he'd gone so long talking to Sean. Plus, Sean was still cursing and he couldn't let that go on much longer.
The excitement in the studio was very high when Paul showed up. You could hear it in both Howard and Robin's voices that they were thrilled to have Paul there.
Paul told Howard that he has heard and seen his show on occasion. He said he'd listen in his car once in a while. His limo driver actually told him not to do Howard's show because he's so nasty but Paul decided to give it a try anyway.
Howard said that Paul must be one of the most loving guys in the world because he stayed with Linda so long. Howard seems to think that Paul could have had his choice of any woman but he stayed with Linda for 30 years. He claims that he was with her almost every day of his life from the time they were married until Linda died. The longest period he stayed away was when he was arrested in Japan for marijuana possession. He spent a short time telling Howard about that experience and how he thought he was going to be serving 7 years hard labor over there. Paul also told Howard he got his ''rock star'' lifestyle out of his system before he met Linda so he was ready to settle down with her. He also said everything was different with her when he met her.
Howard also questioned Paul about Yoko Ono and how she actually met him before she met John Lennon. Then she claimed that she didn't even know who the Beatles were. Paul said he couldn't say too much about Yoko because he could get in trouble with her. He did tell his side of the story though and it sounds like Yoko knew exactly who the Beatles were before she met John. Paul said that life's too short to worry about stuff like that though.
Howard asked Paul why he wasn't involved in the John Lennon Tribute that took place a few weeks ago. Paul said he had other things to do and he also thought it would be a little weird for him to be there singing the songs. Howard also brought up how Julian Lennon wasn't invited to the tribute. Once again Paul didn't want to get into that whole discussion in public.
Howard asked Paul what he thought about the rumor that their manager gave John Lennon oral sex at one point. Paul said that his theory was that it never happened. Paul said that whenever he saw John, whether he was sober or not, he was always with a woman.
Howard brought up Paul's current fiancee Heather and asked if his kids are still upset that he's going to get married. Paul said they've come around recently and they're not upset about the marriage. Howard seemed to think that the kids would be upset about losing their inheritance to their stepmother but Paul said he told them that won't happen. Paul also told Howard how he has tried to raise his kids like normal kids. He sent them to public schools so they'd grow up without being spoiled rich kids. He wanted them to experience real people so they'd respect them like he had to do. Paul told Howard that 15 months after Linda died he met Heather and he felt guilty that he was going with another woman. He said he walked around alone and asked Linda to give him a sign if it was okay to be going out with this other woman. He said he heard an owl hoot and he took that as a yes.
Michael Jackson's name also came up. Michael owns the publishing rights to the Beatles songs. Paul said he used to have a good relationship with Michael until he got the publishing rights. After that Paul said he wrote to Michael asking him for a raise on his royalties but he doesn't ever get an answer so he doesn't have much of a relationship with him anymore. He finds the whole situation ironic. Paul does own a lot of publishing rights to a lot of songs. He said he got advice from his father-in-law when he got married to Linda. He suggested that Paul invest his money in a music publishing company and that's what he ended up doing. It took all of the money he had at the time but it's paid off in the long run. Paul said it was very risky but he lucked out.
Howard has heard over the years that Paul would sometimes play drums instead of Ringo on some of their songs. Paul said that sometimes that would happen and no one else in the band would hold it against him. He said he'd sometimes play some of George Harrison's guitar parts too if he thought it would help the song. He said the other guys were cool with it.
Howard heard that Paul disliked Elvis' cover of ''Yesterday'' so he asked him about that. Paul said that he doesn't hate any of the cover versions of their songs. He said that the Elvis cover was funny because he screwed up the lyrics at one point. Howard played him a few clips from the cover songs from Ella Fitzgerald, Bing Crosby and William Shatner. They all got a few laughs out of the songs.
Howard plugged Paul's new album ''Driving Rain'' which comes out November 13th. He also played the new single that Paul has coming out called ''Lover to a Friend.'' The proceeds from the song will go to the families of the police and fire department employees who were lost in the September 11th tragedy. Paul said that he was sitting in an airplane on the runway getting ready to fly back to England when the tragedy happened. He could actually see the smoke from the World Trade Center out the window of the plane. He's also playing a concert this Saturday that will also go to help those lost in the tragedy. Howard took a few phone calls including one from Vinnie Favale who was upset he wasn't allowed in the studio today. Howard told Vinnie earlier in the show that he ruined the Ringo Starr interview recently so he didn't want him doing the same to Paul's interview. Vinnie asked Paul a couple of questions and Howard cut him off. After the phone calls Howard let Paul go and took a break.
After the break Howard said that he was almost speechless when Paul walked in the studio. Gary said he was watching it on the monitor and it was a big deal when he came in.
Howard had Mary talk a little bit about her porn career and some of the stuff she's done so far. She hasn't had anal because she's apparently holding out for her boyfriend.
Howard had 10 questions for her to answer. She could only miss 3 out of the 10 before getting her head flushed in the toilet. Howard said they're basic IQ questions they pulled from somewhere. Here are the questions and answers:
One of the guy's said that they know someone who is in prison and that's where this is all coming from. They said that their father is in jail for embezzlement. The twin that punched the glass, Eric, said that he got into an altercation with a police officer one time. He was driving a stolen car at the time. He's also the one who was suffering from Manic Depression at the time. He said he's gotten better since then though... but he did punch that picture in the green room.
Eric said he got two months for the ''altercation'' with the cop. He thinks that was too much time for the crime. Howard said he doesn't think it was too much because it was a violent crime in his opinion. The Twins said that they're in a political action group that want to change the laws concerning the three strikes law. They gave Howard some examples of people who have gotten life in prison for non-violent crimes. They said that someone could have committed a felony 20 years ago and then commit another crime today and get life in prison. Gary told the guys that he's 41 years old and he has no felony crimes on his record. He said that people should just obey the law.
Howard let a few phone callers yell at the Twins. Most of the callers didn't want to hear about what these guys were yelling about. One caller was on their side and tried to talk to Howard about what they were doing.
Artie said that he has one strike against him in California so he doesn't even speed when he's there. He said the three strikes law scares him so much that he tries not to break any laws. Howard told the Twins that he believes in the law and doesn't think that it should matter if it was a violent crime or not. The Twins kept yelling about the ''non-violent'' thing over and over again during the interview. It didn't seem to matter to Howard or Gary though.
The Jesus Twins wrote a song for this cause they're defending. They told Howard they were told that Howard was going to play the whole song on the air. Howard said he wasn't going to play the whole thing though. Howard started to play the song and stopped it about 30 seconds in. He asked if he really had to play the whole thing. The guys just told him to finish it. Howard said he liked everything but the lyrics. Howard said there should be a three strikes law in the music industry. Three bad songs and you're out.
Gary wanted Howard to stop playing the song because it was so bad. The Twins said that there are people in prison who have to hear it though.
Mob informant Henry Hill called in (drunk) to talk about this thing but Howard ended up hanging up on him before he could say much. Crazy Cabbie also called in and called the guys idiots. Howard also hung up on him and played little bits of their song again. Stuttering John was laughing at the song and he said the singing was just horrible.
Howard wrapped up the interview and gave them a couple of plugs for their web sites. You can find out more about The Jesus Twins at TheJesusTwins.com and more info on their cause can be found at Amend3Strikes.org
A couple of women came down today to get plugs for their web site CatFightBabes.com so Howard hooked them up with Yaqi. Howard was going to ask them some questions and each time they got the wrong answer Yaqi would tickle them. If they got the answer correct they'd get a plug for their web site. First up was Heather. Yaqi shackled her to a bed they had set up in the studio and prepared to tickle her. Yaqi wanted to supervise the shackling himself because he wanted to make sure it was done correctly. She did escape one time though. Howard asked her a bunch of questions and she was able to answer most of them. Howard then threw in a couple of tough questions that she couldn't answer so Yaqi could tickle her. Heather told Howard that she thinks of tickling as torture most of the time but if she's attracted to the guy she would get turned on. Yaqi did some great tickling because Heather was squealing and screaming each time he touched her. Artie Lange kept making jokes about how he's probably killed some of his tickling victims. Yaqi uses socks on the women's wrists when he shackles them and Artie said in 5 years or so someone will probably find skeletons with socks on their arms in Yaqi's basement or something.
Heather told Howard that she wanted him to tickle her because she's attracted to him. She found Yaqi's tickling to just be torture. Howard went over and got a quick pointer from Yaqi who told him to tickle her upper thigh. Howard tried it and actually got a reaction from her. Once again she squealed and screamed as Howard tickled her. Then Yaqi joined in and the two of them double teamed her for a few seconds. Before the girls came in they were told to drink a lot of fluids so they might wet the bed as they got tickled. Heather said she drank a lot but she didn't end up wetting the bed.
Howard had to take a break before getting to the second woman, Star. When he came back they shackled Star to the bed and Howard asked her some questions. Star wasn't ticklish. Yaqi tried but couldn't get her to laugh. On Heather he'd used some lotion on her feet and tickled her which made her really squeal. Star just laid there and didn't make a sound. Stuttering John came in and gave it a try too. He got her to giggle for a second but ended up calling her a ''cold fish.'' Howard gave up on her after a couple of minutes. He also told Yaqi that they kind of find him to be like a serial killer-type which he didn't seem to appreciate. While he was trying to tickle Star Howard kept making references to killing her because she wasn't doing what he wanted her to do. Yaqi said he's never killed anyone... You can find out more about Yaqi and order his tickling video tape at YaqisWorld.com. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Yaqi before wrapping up the interview. Yaqi claims that woman actually pay him to tickle them. He said he charges $5 per pound to do the tickling. A phone caller told Howard that ticking guys is gay and Yaqi has done that. Yaqi doesn't seem to think it is gay though. He told Howard that he's never had gay sex and he's never murdered anyone as Howard wrapped up the interview.
Howard asked Goldust about his family life also. He found out that he was divorced one time and has a 9 year old daughter. Goldust said that he hates his ex-wife now. While he was talking about all of that his ticks and grunts were still going off every once in a while. Howard continued to call it Tourrette's and Goldust kept telling him ''It's no Tourrette's.''
Within a few minutes Howard was taking phony calls from Benjy and Fred who were pretending to be people from some Tourrette's groups. Benjy was ''Mark'' and did some grunts of his own. Fred also did something like that a short tim alter. Goldust thought it was Artie doing that but he was sitting right there in the studio. After those calls Goldust had a moment where he yelled out ''GRAND CANYON'' for no reason.
Howard gave Goldust a plug for this Wrestlemania 19 that he's going to be appearing in on March 30th. He said he'll be there for his buddy Booker T. Gary came in at one point and said that there were some strange moments in the past where Goldust seemed to be a little gay on the WWE shows. He said that he seemed to get crushes and stuff on other guys. Goldust said he was just going along with the skits they were doing. Artie did one of his neurological disorder's after hearing that and yelled out ''HOMO, HOMO!''
Someone brought in a picture of Goldust's ex-wife who looked pretty hot according to Howard. He said her boobs were huge. Goldust said he paid for those things himself.
Howard took a couple of real phone calls for Goldust. A woman called in and wondered why he does that bit. She said it's funny but she'd rather see him doing a gay thing. Gary said that Goldust is a wrestling legacy because his father was a wrestler by the name of Dusty Roads. He told Howard that they had a strained relationship and didn't talk for three years. He said that had something to do with the ex-wife so Robin figured his father had slept with his ex-wife. He said he didn't want to talk about it but Howard said he had to get into it. He asked him about that and found out that his father just knew that she was bad for him and he didn't want to believe it.
Robin asked him if his father taught him how to wrestle. He's gotten back together with his father since his divorce. He said he hopes to someday be able to fight for a title. Howard wondered if Goldust's wife got 50 percent of his money even if she was cheating on him. He talked a little bit about that and said that she was with her gynecologist. He said within a month they got married and divorced. Artie continued to do his grunts while Goldust was talking about this stuff. Robin told Artie he had balls to be doing that to this guy. Gary said that Goldust and his ex still see each other because they still work together. He said he doesn't have much to say to her anymore. Howard wondered if he sees her and just yells out ''BITCH, BITCH!'' with his neurological disorder. Robin asked Goldust what his father is doing these days. He said he helps promote some shows and stuff like that. Howard asked him if his father ever beat him as a child. He grunted and groaned a little bit and said his father never beat him.
Howard wrapped up the interview and said that they love listening to the tape of him talking. Gary brought up one last thing and said that he read something he'd said about his daughter and how he didn't want her to go through what he went through as a kid. Goldust said he had a dysfunctional childhood and his mother and father weren't getting along and got a divorce. Howard ended the interview a short time later and took a commercial break.
Monica continued to complain about AJ and how she didn't even think that this was a ''date''. She thought it was going to be a friendly kind of dinner or something. She said that she's most upset about AJ talking about their date on the air a few weeks ago. Howard and AJ both said that he didn't mention her name so no one would even know who they were talking about. She said all of her friends know that they dated that one time and what he said was negative. All he said was that he went on a date with a woman who brought her baby and it turned out to be pretty good after he got over the fact that the baby was there. That's not so negative.
Monica refused to talk about the father of the baby and she kept repeating the fact that she takes care of her own baby. AJ knows that it's a famous guy but he doesn't have a name. She wouldn't say anything about the father at all. Howard wondered why she had the baby at all. He asked her why she didn't have an abortion and even AJ said that wasn't a nice thing to ask her.
Some phone callers think that she's got a gag order and that's why she won't talk about the father of her baby. She said nothing like that is going on. Other callers think she got pregnant on purpose so she could get famous. She denies that also. We then found out that she was on camera for this interview. She was complaining about AJ talking about her anonymously and then she agrees to be videotaped for the show. That didn't make much sense. She said it wasn't her idea... but she agreed to do it anyway. Howard never did get why she was calling in. She just kept saying that she wanted to talk to AJ about the whole thing and how rude it was for him to talk about her on the air. Even though he never mentioned her name?
The Rock said he had a remembrance of meeting the late Hank the Dwarf one time when he was doing an event at the Nassau Coliseum. He said he ran into ''The Hank'' accidentally and Hank told him to go f-himself. The Rock said he just laughed and shook The Hank's hand. Howard was goofing around with The Rock's name so everyone became The-(insert name here). Kendra Jade became The Kendra when she spoke to The Rock. Kendra Jade, who vomited on a guy earlier in the show for the chance to meet The Rock, showed him her tattoo that she has on her ass. She said she's a really big fan of his and that's why she got the tattoo.
Howard told The Rock that The Kendra was the stripper who set up Jerry Springer 4 years ago and ended up in a tabloid magazine. Kendra just wants to forget about that whole thing so she asked Howard not to bring it up anymore.
Howard spoke to The Rock about his movie and how popular he's become in the past few years. Then he brought in a guy Eddie who showed up to meet The Rock. He has the same tattoo that The Rock has on him but Howard didn't think it looked like anything. Apparently Eddie actually chose to be a fan of The Rock over his girlfriend. Howard was blown away by that fact and thought he might be gay or something. Eddie just wants to follow in The Rock's footsteps though. Howard kicked him out shortly after he came in.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about The Rock's life and how he grew up an angry guy. He used to get into a lot of fights as a young man. He also let Howard know that his father and uncle both worked for the McMahon family as wrestlers in the past. The Rock shared his first sexual experience with Howard also. He said he lost his virginity at the age of 14. He was in a park with an 18 year old girl but the cops ended up breaking up the fun. He and the girl had to finish up somewhere else.
Howard took a few quick phone calls for The Rock and plugged his web site TheRock.com before wrapping up the interview. He also let Kendra Jade tell The Rock that she ''wants his strudel.'' We also learned that Kendra has a band called The Stone Movement and you can find out more about them at StoneMovement.com
Mr. T came in and Howard spent some time talking to him. They talked about his cancer fight and some other things that have gone on in his life. At one point Mr. T mentioned the incident where he cut down some trees on his property and his neighbors got upset with him. He thinks that it was a white/black thing but Howard disagreed with him. That really set off Mr. T. He went nuts yelling and arguing with Howard about the situation for a few minutes. Howard eventually had to give up on the argument because he couldn't get a word in.
When Howard asked Mr. T if he has a girlfriend he said yes. A short time later he said he was kidding and he doesn't have one. Howard and Robin sounded very interested in finding out about the new woman because he hasn't had one in such a long time. It was all a lie though.
Howard then moved on to the arm wrestling thing. He told Mr. T he was going to bring in three guys who wanted to arm wrestle him for a new Xbox video game console. Mr. T then said that he wasn't going to arm wrestle anyone. He said he doesn't have anything to prove and he doesn't do that. Howard brought the three guys in anyway and told them he'd try to get them each an Xbox. Gary came in and said that Mr. T's agent knew about this arm wrestling thing and the agent claims that Mr. T knew about it. Mr. T said he really didn't know and he wouldn't have agreed to do it anyway. Once again there was a big argument about the whole thing. Some of the guys that came down said that Mr. T was a chump for backing out of this. He insisted that he would never do this unless it was for charity or something. Howard then wrapped up the interview and gave out Mr. T's plugs. Mr. T was promoting 1-800-COLLECT and Conair products that can be purchased on Conair.com. He's also got a Mr. T Wacky Wobble doll out. It's one of those dolls where the head bobs around uncontrollably. Veronica got to ring the bell they had set up just one time as Howard ended the segment.
O.R. Said that he did research by reading books and watching gay videos so he could learn the 8 most common depraved things they do with each other. He also claims that some schools actually teach homosexuality to students! He said that those references are in his book. He told Howard that this book is not just for heterosexuals, it's also for homosexuals.
O.R. Told Howard that he'd like to see morality come back to this country. He doesn't think that we should kill homosexuals and he doesn't think they should be arrested unless they're convicted of sodomy.
Howard told O.R. That it's a good thing that homos come out of the closet because if they don't, they end up getting married to women who they don't love. Then they're both miserable.
O.R. Told Howard about some of the things that homos do that upset him. The delay was hit at one point and Howard said that women also do that with men so I'm assuming it was either oral or anal sex he was talking about. O.R. went on to complain about homosexuals who roll around in excrement and get peed on among other things. Howard said he doesn't care what people do in their own bedrooms. He thinks that they should be allowed to do whatever they want to do in private. Robin tried asking him what he does with his wife but he wouldn't talk about it.
Howard eventually gave up on trying to convince the guy to be more lenient. He said you can get the book at WinePressPub.com. ''Sam Kinison''(Craig Gass) dropped in for a couple of minutes. He told O.R. That he doesn't know what he's missing not having anal sex. He also told Howard that he was reading some of the book and found that some of the schools that were listed as teaching homosexuality included Rock Hudson Secretarial, Judy Garland University and Glory Hole University.
Beetlejuice was hilarious as usual just saying things that made no sense at all to anyone.
Bill asked about President Bush's ''Star Wars'' missile defense and Beetlejuice said he liked that movie. Once again, Daniel Carver was the only one competent enough to answer the question with any type of understanding.
Howard wrapped up the segment after only 15 minutes. He said that Bill looked more disturbed by the whole thing than he's ever looked before. Howard congratulated all of the guests on the job they did answering the questions. He also let everyone give their plugs. Slow Adam has his own web site at SlowAdam.com. Sal the Stockbroker designed it for him so expect some weird, funny stuff to be there. Stuttering John said the one picture they have there has a caption of ''Slow Adam's Limo'' and it's a picture of a wheelchair. Beetlejuice (JollyDwarf.com) will be in the movie ''Bubble Boy'' which is coming out very soon. Bill Maher is in town shooting a special week's worth of ''Politically Incorrect'' concentrating on the mafia.
Howard moved on and said that Stuttering John asked why Anna is even doing this TV show because she's rich. That's not quite true though because right now she's broke. She has won some lawsuits that will get her some money that she's owed but that takes time. She said she needed money to get her by right now so she took this offer to do the reality TV show.
Howard brought up how Anna acts and talks like she's high all the time but she swears she's not. She says it's just her Texas slang accent that makes her seem that way. She said once she saw the show herself even she thought she looked stoned.
Howard said that Anna admits in the show that she hasn't had sex in 2 years so she pleasures herself on the show. Howard started to talk about the 90 year old guy she was banging before he died. HKS told Howard not to talk about that but Howard said there's nothing wrong with that. Howard continued to ask her about it and whether or not the guy was able to satisfy her in every way. She said he wasn't able to do that but she made him very happy.
Howard spoke to HKS about how he's making a living since he's always hanging around Anna. HKS said that he is getting some money from E! for the show since he's featured on it a bit. He said it's not much though. He will get some money from the lawsuit settlement when that comes in but right now he's not getting much.
Howard talked to Anna about her eating and how she doesn't try to hide it on the show. He seems impressed with that for some reason. Howard also talked to her about how she sleeps until noon or so. He asked her about what a typical day is like for her too. She says sometimes she just sits around and reads and the cameras stay on her the whole time.
Howard brought up how Anna has gained a lot of weight lately too. He told her how beautiful she is and wondered if she was trying to sabotage her modeling career by gaining weight. She said that she'd gotten depressed during the litigation and put on a few extra pounds. She said that now that she has the TV show she's going to diet and lose that weight.
Howard asked Anna about her son and whether or not they'll show his friends coming over to hang out. She said that probably won't happen.
Gary came in and said that when he saw Anna on other shows he didn't see HKS sitting next to her. HKS said that Anna needs to be protected from Howard Stern. He quoted Sarah Michelle Gellar who said that she was just glad to get out of the studio alive. Howard said that's a bunch of bull though and she doesn't need to be protected from him.
Howard asked Anna if she's been with any guys since her 90 year old husband died. She said she was with one guy but that relationship didn't work out. She said she thinks the guy just didn't think he could satisfy her needs. Howard read that she sometimes demands sex 10 times a day. Robin and Howard said that no man can meet those needs but Anna thinks there is someone who can.
Howard took some phone calls and started to wrap things up with Anna. Howard was digging for some more stories when he found out that Anna goes to a Psychiatrist and they do video tape that stuff. She wouldn't say whether or not that will show up on the show or not. She said we'll have to watch the show to find out.
Gary had brought up some stories he'd read about Anna and her assistant who she really likes. Gary read that she buys her assistant all kinds of stuff and even paid off her Jeep as a birthday gift one time.
Howard took a few more phone calls and she was getting a few offers from guys who wanted to sleep with her. Howard told Anna that he's fascinated with her and wanted to know what she watches on TV. She said her favorite shows are ''The Simpsons'' and ''King of the Hill.'' HKS also reminded her that she has to watch Jerry Springer. She said she has to watch that show every night. Howard wished Anna luck and said that he really does think this show is going to be huge... That's when Benjy asked Anna the big question. Earlier in the show Anna said that she'd probably jump on any guy who is into her and asked her for sex. Benjy asked Anna if she'd let him perform oral sex on her and she said yes! Benjy said he thinks that she's one of the sexiest women they've ever had on the show and he wanted to do her. She agreed and the two of them headed into Howard's private bathroom! They didn't take a microphone in there so no one was sure what was going on. KC tried to get a microphone in there but Benjy had the door locked. After a few minutes the two of them came out and Anna's hair was all messed up. Benjy had lipstick on his face so it was obvious that they'd made out. Benjy told Howard that they did kiss a little but Anna told him she was on her period and she didn't want to do the oral thing. Benjy would have done it but he said she was nervous and didn't like the fact that they were in a bathroom. Anna said she found Benjy cute and was willing to go out with him later. She had to fly back to L.A. Today but she said he could go with her if he wanted to. Benjy said if he could just spend an hour with her it would be the greatest hour of his life.
Today's contestant was Kristen. Kristen said she's 34 years old. Howard told her she looks much younger though. Howard spent a few minutes talking to her before getting to the game. Howard read that she went out with Crazy Cabbie one time so they talked about that. She said she didn't date him, she just met him and hung out with him for a while. She said he ended up sending her a dozen roses after meeting her. He called her a few times and went out shopping with him. She said he dumped her while they were out to eat by just telling her he had to make a call. He never came back. Cabbie called in and said that she was ''full of it'' and he didn't know what she was talking about. She said she has e-mail to prove that he does know what this is all about. Cabbie said it's no his style to send roses and she might be crazy. The guys spent some time talking about the situation and Cabbie still couldn't recall ever going out with this woman.
Howard eventually got to the game after asking Kristen to show off her rack. He was impressed with what he saw under her shirt. She said she's between a C and a D-cup. Howard said she has a Demi Moore look. Howard moved on to the game and played the first song. Both were writing down their answers after a few notes. Gary knew it was ''Axl F'' by Harold Faltmeyer. Howard played the second song and Gary knew it right away. Kristen wrote down her answer and said she wasn't right. Gary had it right with ''And We Danced'' by The Hooters. Kristen just had the name of the song. Howard moved on to the third song. Gary knew it immediately and wrote it down. Kristen scribbled her answer down. They both got the correct answer of ''(Keep Feeling) Fascination'' by The Human League. Howard played the fourth song and both got it pretty quick. Kristen needed a little more to get it though. Kristen had the artist but not the name of the song. Kristen didn't have the answer so Howard said he'd give it to her if she showed him her boobs. She said she couldn't but the guys tried to convince her to do it anyway. KC came in and told her to just ''whip those things out.'' Gary knew the answer to the song so he gave it before Kristen made her decision. The song was ''Some Like it Hot'' by Power Station. Kristen kept putting it off. She was afraid that someone she knows would see her on E!. Kristen brought her friend Amy in to consult with. She wanted to get her opinion about what she should do. Amy said she wouldn't do it so KC told the guys to get her out of there. Howard spent a minute talking to Amy but then wanted her to get out because of what she was saying. Howard kept trying to get Kristen to show her boobs but she wasn't doing it. She finally agreed to do it after being coaxed into it by the guys. Howard told her just what to do and said she had to give them a 30 second look. She apologized to her family before doing it. Howard said she had some rack on her too. KC gave a loud ''WOW!'' when he saw them. All of the guys were impressed.
The guys spent a couple more minutes talking about her before getting back to the game. He played the next song and Gary, as always, knew it. Kristen didn't know the right answer though. She showed her boobs for nothing. She knew the name of the song but didn't know the band. Gary gave the answer of ''Dance Hall Days'' by Wang Chung. Howard wrapped up the segment a short time later. He told Kristen that he'd give her a whole new game if she just took off her pants.
After five more minutes of offers Kristen broke down and agreed to play another game. Gary was offering to spot her 2 songs if she and her friend Amy just made out. She didn't want to bring Amy into that so she turned that offer down. Howard had made some other offers like letting both of them play but only spotting them one song. Kristen kept saying that she didn't want Amy playing though so that was dropped. She finally agreed to pull down her pants and show the guys her thong for 60 seconds. She did that before they took a commercial break. The guys said she had a nice body even though she kept saying she knows she doesn't. Howard said she had a nice ass and even her belly was pretty good for a 34 year old. KC made some crack about her having a 34 inch waist but Howard told Kristen that he's gay so she shouldn't listen to what he says.
When they came back from the break Comedian Lewis Black was there so Howard spent a short time talking to him and then got to the second game of ''Stump the Booey.'' Gary was saying that the songs that they've played so far have been easy for him. The guys said that he probably won't be beaten by a hot chick, he'll probably be beaten by some geeky guy like Vinnie Favale from CBS. Howard moved on and played the first song which was ''Ico Ico'' by Bell Stars. Gary finally screwed up and missed the answer when he couldn't guess the name of the band. Kristen didn't know it either. The second song was ''Buffalo Stance'' by Nena Cherry. Gary got it right, Kristen didn't. The next song was ''65 Love Affair'' by Paul Davis. Kristen got it right as did Gary. The next song was ''Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird'' by Will To Power. Gary got it right, Kristen didn't. That meant that she blew it again. Howard told her all of that nudity was for naught. The $5000 that she didn't win was going to be courtesy of Vermont Teddy Bear. Howard gave them a few plugs and then sent Kristen on her way. Artie said ''So long sucker!'' as she walked out. He also said ''Good looking at your boobs!'' Howard said her boobs will be great on his uncensored video. He also said ''Can't wait to show your ass to my fans!'' which had Artie laughing pretty hard. Artie continued to goof on her for a short time. Howard played a little more of ''Baby I Love Your Way'' and said they should make that Kristen's theme song. Gary came in an short time after that and said that Kristen heard all of that and told him to tell Artie he was ugly as she was leaving. Artie said ''Yeah, but I have my shirt on honey!''
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to know why all of these gay songs from the 80's were being used for the game. He said they should have songs from the 90's instead. Howard said the whole idea is to have songs that Gary knows from the 80's since that's what he's good at. Artie said this was the best ''Stump the Booey'' yet. Lewis Black said his favorite part of the game was that Vermont Teddy Bear was sponsoring it.
Howard also asked Paula if she's going to get a little meaner this season. She said there's no reason to do that though. Howard then moved on to Simon who he thought got a little intimidated last season. Simon explained to Howard that he had to remain silent at the end of the season for some reason. He said that it won't happen again though.
Howard got back to Paula and asked her if the rumors about her not wanting another woman on the show were true. They ended up getting rid of the fourth judge that they hired. Paula told Howard that Simon got rid of her because the woman just didn't like doing it. Simon said the chemistry didn't work out well for them either. Howard figures it's the greatest gig in the world though. They sit there and judge other people's music. Howard tried to find out what kind of money they're all making on the show but they weren't talking much. Simon shot ''Hollywood Squares'' when Gary was out there this weekend so they spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Gary said Simon really wasn't playing the game and said whatever he felt like saying. He said he was very ''real'' on the show. Howard got back to the money thing but Randy wasn't talking about how much he gets. Paula said she doesn't mind if Simon makes more money than she does on the show either. Paula said that it's Simon's show and she's just a visitor.
Howard spent a little time talking to Randy about his marriage and how he's no getting laid off this show.
Robin said she saw Simon on MTV's ''Cribs'' and figured that he had to put the woman he had with him on the show to get her to stay with him. Simon told Robin that was true.
Howard asked Simon about the Kelly Clarkson record contract controversy. She apparently had a record contract while she was on the show so Howard wondered if she would have been kicked off the show if they knew about that. Simon said they knew she was working with this guy who signed her so it wouldn't have gotten her kicked off the show. Howard figured she was a fraud because of that but Simon didn't think that was right.
Gary came in and told Howard that the judges had to be out of there pretty soon and they had some people waiting to be judged. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to them about the show. He also asked Paula if it's true she's back recording because of the attention she's gotten from the show. She said she's not sure what she's doing right now but she'll see what happens. She said she's having fun writing songs for other people at this point. Howard also brought up the fact that Paula used to date John Stamos years ago. She said that JOhn was a great guy and she really liked him. Howard then pulled out the notes on Paula and said that she dated his competition Mark and Brian. She said that they were funny together.
Howard said he had 4 people who wanted to be judged so he brought in the first one, Christina. She was in recently claiming that they rejected her because she looks too ''ethnic.'' Christina sang a few lines and Simon told Howard that she's really not a good singer. Robin seems to think that she's not all that bad and she could perform in England. Paula said she doesn't agree with Simon about her not being a good singer. She said there were a lot of good singers who were rejected from the show. Randy said she was alright but not ''amazing.'' Randy also said she looks great. Christina said that there are some people interested in her but Simon told her that when people tell her that, they're probably just interested in getting into her pants.
Howard brought in Tim next. He also belted out a song for the judges. He sang ''Hero'' from the Spider-Man soundtrack. He's 30 years old so the judges told him that he's too old to be an ''American Idol.'' Simon said he was alright. Paula said he didn't have any projection. Randy said he was alright also. Howard then broke the news to them that his real name is Josey and he's the lead singer of the band Saliva who actually performed the song. Howard said that shows how little the judges actually know. Josey said they sold 8 million copies of that single. Josey said he's also gotten a few awards for the song. Howard thanked Josey for coming in to do that. He also gave him a plug for his album ''Back Into Your System'' which is out now.
Howard said they had a few things that they could do. He said they could bring in more people to be judged or they could meet Simon's girlfriend. Howard decided to meet Simon's girlfriend. She came in and spent a couple of minutes talking to him about that. Simon told Howard that he's never going to get married when he was asked if he's going to marry this girl. Howard then found out he was out of time with them. He had to wrap things up but first let Fred perform a song about Simon that he wrote. Fred then sang ''Simon is a fag'' to the tune of ''Three Blind Mice.'' Fred isn't a fan of his obviously. Howard then wrapped up the interview and took a break.
''Gene'' told Howard that the latest KISS product is the KISS toilet which will be a pay toilet and ''Gene'' himself will come out to collect the money from you every month. He said there will also be a ''KISS Douche'' on sale soon also.
Jessica Hahn called in and said she was unable to tell the difference between the two ''Genes'' on the radio. She said she's met the real Gene a few times and she thinks they might have had sex but she wasn't so sure they wanted to talk about that. She eventually said she gave Gene oral sex. Howard filled Gene in on Jessica's current situation. She's not married but she's got a rich guy supporting her. She hooked up with the creator of ''Married with Children'' and he's got her in an apartment. They screw each other but live in separate homes. They spent a few minutes on that subject before Jessica got off the phone.
''Gene'' told Howard that another great KISS concept is the KISS Kondo which will be a whole gated community of KISS fans. He said that they wondered how they could get even more money out of the KISS fans and the KISS Kondo community was the idea. ''Gene'' also said there's a ''KISS Kids Klub, KKK'' where kids can collect nickles and dimes until they get $10 and then send it in for a genuine KISS photo.
For some reason Gene pulled out his wallet and Howard noticed it was full of cash. Howard made him count it and he had $5,621 in checks and cash and a fake $1 million bill that Howard couldn't figure out.
Howard took a few phone calls for Gene and one guy said there was some party for Gene last night that he was at last night. Gene said it was a surprise party for the release of his new magazine ''Gene Simmons Tongue.'' This was the real ene talking about this by the way. He said the magazine will be a cross between Playboy, Rolling Stone and Maxim magazines. On the cover will be a celebrity with their tongue out like Gene does in his act. Everything in the magazine will reference tongues.
Gene also hosted the Miss Nude USA Pageant last weekend and it'll be airing on HBO in the near future. Gene said that the contest was full of young strippers and nudists. He said there are 20 winners out of 150 contestants or something like that.
The real Gene Simmons cut off his long hair and Howard wanted to know why he did it. Gene said he got an acting job that he can't talk about and that's why he cut off the hair. He said he's done it in the past so it wasn't a big deal to him.
Missy, a woman claiming that she finds women for Gene to have sex with, came in quickly to talk to Howard. Gene wasn't so sure about her claims but he let her talk about it. She had a friend of hers with her who was supposed to be Gene's next woman. The friend said she wasn't aware that she was supposed to sleep with him though. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that but not before ''Gene'' told everyone about the KISS bank account. He said now you don't have to worry about not spending enough of your paycheck on KISS merchandise. They automatically deduct 10% of your deposits out of your account and it goes directly to KISS.
You can find out more about KISS merchandise at KISSOnline.com
Hank the Dwarf and Beetlejuice were both supposed to be in the ''Politically Incorrect'' segment this morning but the two of them got in a fight in the hall. Howard had tape of the argument that went on between the two of them and they both yelled at each other for a few minutes. Hank even ended up using the ''N-word'' as Howard put it. Beetlejuice sounded like he was ready to rip Hank's head off.
Howard wanted to find out what this was all about so he brought Beetlejuice back in the studio and he was yelling at Gary for some reason. He was still upset about the whole thing. Howard said he thought the two of them were friends but it's obvious now they're not. It seems to be an ego thing. They've both been in movies and they think they're big stars. They may just be jealous of each other or something. Beetle sounded like he was still ready to fight Hank right then and there but Howard wouldn't let that happen.
Howard eventually found out that Beetlejuice once threw a cake on Hank at a hotel room they were in. The reason he did it wasn't all that clear though. KC said that it all started after Hank insulted Beetlejuice's mother one time but Hank said he never did that.
As Howard was trying to wrap things up we found out that Beetle is working on a book. When asked what the title is going to be he said something like ''Topigoobie'' or something like that. He said that the book will be out on Wednesday. Comedian Craig Gass goofed on him about that for a couple of minutes doing his ''W.C. Fields/Edward G. Robinson'' impression. Howard had to end all of that fun to take a break so he gave each of them a plug and went to break. You can find out more about the two of them at: