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Howard started off the show saying that he has 30 live shows left before he leaves for satellite. He told the guys how busy he was working on his new channel over at the new place. Robin said he's got 2 channels but Howard said he's referring to them as just one. He said he has H1 and H2 and she won't believe all of the stuff they have in the works. He said he's got about 30 shows in development already. He has an ''Adventures of Fartman'' cartoon in the works for H100 and it may go over to his On Demand cable show as well. Robin was wondering how it could show up on radio and not TV so Howard broke the news to her that it would be on both. He went on to look for some notes he had about the other things he has in the works over there. He has one show called ''Fred Norris Secret Agent'' where Fred would be playing the part of a secret agent. Fred didn't like the story he was hearing from Howard though. He had another one for Robin that they have in the works. Then there's the ''Really Desperate Housewives'' which would include the wives of the crew. Howard said everyone thinks he's joking about this but he's serious. He said he's got ''Lost on Whore Island'' starring really drunk Scores Girls. There will be a lot of stuff shot for On Demand that will also make it to his radio channel.
Howard said he's got a show called ''Meet the F**k Heads'' starring Jeff the Drunk and Wendy the Retard. Jeff will win the lottery and end up living next to Donald Trump. Howard asked Artie what he thought about that and he said that he likes that one. There will also be game shows and all kinds of sitcoms, musical comedies and stuff like that on his channels. Howard said he was busy working on uniforms for his news department over the weekend and said that they will have to wear them when they go out to interview people. He got back to his list of shows and said that he's going to have an ''I Want To F**k A Porn Star'' game show and other game shows like that on his channels as well. He thinks that it's going to be the most spectacular moment in his career when the unveil everything over there. He said his ''Lesbian Dating Game'' will be turned into a full show as well. He's been busy making development deals all over the city and he'll be making more announcements in about a month or so. Artie said that the Wack Pack members are all migrating toward New York City because of this.
Jeff the Drunk asked Howard if High Pitch Eric is all set up. Howard said Eric is set to go tomorrow. Also airing this week will be the King of All blacks show that will air every day this week. Tomorrow morning Eric will be live from his apartment at about 6:40am where he will be eating and crapping. The Howard 100 News crew will be giving updates as he does things so they will break in and let everyone know what he's up to. Tom Chiusano came in and told Howard that he doesn't want him to be doing a big commercial for his radio shows on this show. Howard didn't get what that was all about so Tom had to explain to him that it's fine to talk about giving Jeff a show but not to give a run down for when all of this stuff will air. Howard changed subjects and talked about how it was Tom's wife's birthday today and got off of the schedule for Howard 100.
Sam told Howard that the boxer he produces, Lamon Brewster, doesn't know Jackie but he told him that he felt sorry for ''that old guy'' (Jackie) because he shouldn't have been laughing at his own jokes like he was. Gary said he just talked to Jackie last night and talked to him about coming back on the show. Jackie is afraid that they're just going to goof on him when he comes in. Howard said that it won't be all about that but they will be goofing on him about leaving the show a little bit. Gary also said that Jackie had to run out to see a show that Michael Imperioli was doing with some other guys like Nick DiPaolo and Steve Shiripa.
Howard said that everything that Sam touches turns to gold and he lucked out with this boxer Lamon Brewster that he's managing. Sam said he lucked out with the guy and he's been doing really well. Sam told Howard that he gets a bit more than a 10 percent fee from his winnings but doesn't take as much as other managers do. He said that any money he makes is free and clear because Lamon has paid off all of the loans he took from him. Howard goofed on Sam a little bit making it seem like he had bought his own black guy just to help out around the house. Sam has a guy that does that but Howard was doing his black voice and making it seem like he was the guy helping out around the house washing his clothes and Ralph's clothes since Ralph has spent some time with Sam out in California. Howard told Sam that he should buy some other blacks for Lamon to fight and he could own them as well. Sam told Howard that many years ago boxers didn't just fight humans and would fight animals as well. Howard kept goofing around with that stuff and almost chased Sam off the phone.
Sam changed subjects and said that he won the national championships in poker on HollywoodPoker.com. He said it wasn't a lot of money but it was pretty cool that he won. Artie mentioned that Sam is one of the few people who have seen his movie ''Beer League.'' Sam said that the movie is really good and thought that Artie was able to pull off the part very well. He said that it is a low budget movie but the big jokes are there and it's very funny. Howard wrapped up with Sam after that and let him go. As Sam was getting off the phone he quickly mentioned that he loves the new SIRIUS ad that's running on his web site. Robin and Artie hadn't seen it yet so he brought them over to his computer to show them what Sam was talking about. In the ad you hear the music for ''2001 a Space Odyssey'' and see the night sky with stars aligned in the shape of a penis and a shooting star coming out of the head. Howard said that the ad is actually going to be running in movie theaters but he wanted his fans to see it first so he put it up on his web site.
Howard mentioned that they have Triumph the Insult Comic Dog coming in today and it's always weird to have him in because he has to talk to a puppet. He said Bob Smigel, the voice behind Triumph, asked Howard if he wants him to sit behind the couch like he used to do when they had cameras in the studio. Howard said he's going to try doing it with Bob sitting on the couch but it may not work so they may have to stick him behind the couch. He had to go to break after mentioning that.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who brought up the story about George Takei coming out of the closet. Howard is wondering if they had something to do with him coming out of the closet and spent a few minutes talking about how he thinks that George owes them an interview now. Howard said that they would avoid bringing that stuff up when George did the show in the past and now there's nothing off limits now that he's come out of the closet. Artie said that George could have done the show and then done personal appearances where he just said the lines they use on the show and he could have made a ton of money doing that. That led into Howard playing some of the bits they've created using those George Takei audio clips where he talks about a bunch of gay things. Howard said they never said that George was gay but they did kind of make it seem like they knew already. Howard played Kidd Chris' ''Sulu Dance'' song parody after the other bit. He said that it did come as a bit of a blow when they heard that Takei had come out of the closet. They'd like to have him back on the show to talk about that stuff with them and they've always been respectful of the guy.
Howard read the notes Clear Channel had about how to deal with his audience once he's off the air. They say that Howard's audience has to be brought back in gently because they're going to have their ''B.S. meters'' on high. They go on and on about what their stations should do in the markets where his show is leaving. Howard said that he's going to service his audience when he moves to the new place and he will have 24 hours of his own programming going on and Clear Channel isn't taking that into consideration. In the memo the Clear Channel management has a top 10 list of things that they should be doing and went on to bad mouth David Lee Roth a couple of times. Robin was fascinated by the memo and thought that there was a whole science about what to do to battle Howard Stern. Howard said that they can't compete with him and his new stuff is going to be ''breathtaking'' at the new place. Robin found that it's amazing how much Clear Channel puts into their shows that are supposed to compete with Howard Stern. Howard said he needs just one year to prove that his stuff is going to change the industry. He said that he's heard the shows in his head and they're going to be great. He will be doing his morning show, and that will be great, but he's also going to have two channels to fill with other shows that will make people turn in to hear more. He said that whatever ''they think'' radio will be in the future is wrong. He's going to completely reinvent it. He said that he and Tim Sabean were talking about the stuff that's coming up and Tim thinks that they're building a dynasty. Howard said it's going to be all about content and he's going to have it.
A listener called in and asked about how SIRIUS has signed a deal with Sprint Cellular Service to broadcast some of their content and wondered if there's any FCC back door that will allow them to censor him. Howard said he's not worried about it because they'd have to change the Constitution to go after pay services like that.
Howard ended up talking about what's going on in Washington DC these days and what a mess it's become. He said he was going to explain it quickly for those who don't know what's going on. He explained what he knew but Robin had to correct him on some of his facts. He believes that this is turning into another Watergate. He said he thinks that Dick Cheney is going to take the fall for the Scooter Libby thing that's going on. They're saying that Cheney probably won't have any legal problems but his political career is probably over. Howard said that Bush has surrounded himself with people who seem to think that they're above the law. Artie said that what's going in is like a bunch of childish nonsense and it's really stupid. Howard said he stopped talking about the administration a while back because it's obvious that they will go after people who bad mouth them. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that he's been listening to some of the shows on Howard 100 and the Double A interview with Beth O was really boring. Howard said he knows that it was a train wreck of a show and that's what he thought it was going to be. He's just filling up some empty space on his channel until he moves over there. Howard mentioned that Double A been all over the Howard 100 News lately. He does have a beef with them over there though. He said that Ronnie has been bashing Sal over there and once they got a hold of Sal, he made the reporter feel bad and now they've cut out a bunch of the stuff that Ronnie has said about him. Ronnie came in and said that he went off on Sal when they interviewed him and the reporter said that she wasn't sure she could air it because she didn't know how much controversy it was going to cause.
Sal said that Ronnie thinks that he put Double A up to saying some nice stuff about him but that's not true. Howard said that the News department is causing problems already. Robin and Ronnie seem to think that he's been crying to them and screwing things up. Gary said that Sal and Richard went out to a gig in Chicago over the weekend and were up to some weird stuff. Richard is a huge fan of Halloween and loves to go to haunted houses and stuff. There was one guy advertising a haunted garage out there so that's where they went. It was at some guy's house out there. They had some pictures of it so Howard told the guys to get them up on HowardStern.com. Gary said that they went to this guy's house and it was horrible. Sal came up with an idea for Richard to pull down his pants so they could take a picture of him in front of it. The guy who created the haunted garage came out and asked them what the hell they're doing and Sal caught him as he was looking over at the guy who found them. Richard had to pull up his pants. Sal said that the guy's grandfather came walking up a short time later and asked them if they were scared.
Comedian Rev. Bob Levy called in and said that he saw Sal crying in front of Richard at a strip club. He was apparently telling Richard how great a friend he is and ended up bawling. Gary said that Sal had gotten drunk and got very emotional as he was sitting next to him. Sal said after his blow up on Friday he got very emotional. Howard asked him what's wrong with him. Sal said that he's messed up and didn't know why he got so emotional. Howard told Bob that he's been great in the News and said that Bob will be doing stuff with them and won't be left out in the cold. Bob told Howard he loves him and will be up at the studio to cry to him that he loves him. Sal and Richard continued to talk about their behavior out there in Chicago and it seems that the two of them get along better than Sal and his wife do.
Sal and Richard said that they shared a room again this weekend because the comedy club doesn't pay for another one. Levy said that's not true and they always pay for rooms for each of them. Sal said that Craig Gass told him that they wouldn't pay for the extra room though. Sal was also saying that Richard will pull his junk out in front of him all the time for nor reason. Richard told Howard that he's got something going on around his private parts where it seems to be creating a ''Gock'' which is kind of like a ''gunt'' but it's on a guy. Howard told Richard that if he lets his hair grow out, it wouldn't be so noticeable. Richard said that he shaves down because he sometimes gets stuff in there that he doesn't want in there. Richard said he shaves down that area about once every 2 weeks or so. Meanwhile he doesn't brush his teeth for days or weeks at a time.
Gary said that Sal has been doing some weird stuff lately. He's had Debbie the Queefer's panties on his computer speaker for weeks so he had to ask him to move them. He's also been spying on some woman who gets dressed in front of her window at an apartment across the street from the studio lately. He's been tracking her and watching her dress in the morning.
Double A was on the phone so Howard talked to him about how much time he's been spending over at SIRIUS lately. Double said that there's a woman over there who he wants to be around all the time because she's so hot. Double A wants to work over there and was just about begging for a show. He said that this woman, Sue Costello, is like a mini-Beth but Artie said that she's no mini-Beth because he's seen her. Double A asked Howard not to forget about him as he was getting off the phone.
Richard told Howard about how he pleasured himself on the flight out to Chicago and spent about 15 minutes in the tiny bathroom. Gary said that he has to hold his breath when he has to use it. Artie said that it's embarrassing enough to go doody on the plane, never mind pleasuring yourself. Richard said he actually loves going doody on the plane and will save it for the flight.
Howard read some of the other show ideas that he talked about earlier in the morning. He has a lot of sitcom ideas for the Wack Packers. Richard said they're going down to Dallas this weekend and will have Clif around to do some bits with them. They want Clif to go to a fast food restaurant and order their food for them. Howard read some of his other ideas like ''Lost On Whore Island'' that he'll be creating for Howard 100. He said they'll have game shows like ''I Want to F**k A Porn Star'' that will air on Howard 100 as well. Sal said that he has to get divorced so he can play that game.
Clif told the guys that he wants to hang out with Richard Christy when he comes out to Dallas. Ralph called in a short time later so Howard said that he witnessed him having a meltdown yesterday. There was supposed to be a big meeting at his apartment yesterday and it was canceled but no one told him about it. Ralph said that there were 8 people scheduled to come over and no one showed up. Ralph said when Howard had his melt down, he wanted to leave the apartment but ended up sticking around.
Ralph was also saying that it was kind of like true love between Sal and Richard and it was kind of sweet. He was also saying that the show ideas that Howard has for his new channels are going to be great and he'll own all of the ideas. Howard talked about the Fartman show that they're working on and how wild that's going to be. Howard got back to the meltdown he had yesterday and Ralph said that he was rolling around his apartment like the Tasmanian Devil. Howard said that Scott Greenstein apparently decided that he didn't need to have a meeting but didn't bother to tell him.
Richard told Howard that maybe SIRIUS should create an old-time radio like they made back in the early days of radio so people can sit around the radio and listen like they used to. Everyone told him that was a really bad idea though. A caller asked Howard if they're going to replay his parents radio show on SIRIUS. Howard said they will be doing that but his parents have also agreed to do a weekly show for them so they'll be able to hear them again in the future. The caller also told Howard he saw a picture of him in the paper where he was running in a pink wife beater t-shirt. Howard said that was kind of embarrassing because the guy was chasing him around all morning as he was jogging. He asked that all of these interviewers pull back their cameras when they get him on their shows over the next few weeks. He said he's no super model and doesn't need any close-ups. He went to break a short time later.
Howard mentioned that Triumph has been on the Conan O'Brien show and appears regularly on there. Howard ended up talking about how they used to have cameras in the studio so they'd hide Triumph's owner behind the couch but today there was no camera so he was sitting on the couch. Howard wondered if Triumph is still part of Saturday Night Live as well. He said he's been hanging around over there and saw Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow over there last week. He said that if Lance loses that other ball, he may actually start to like Sheryl's music. Howard quickly mentioned that he may actually do SNL as part of his publicity tour for SIRIUS.
Triumph pooped all over Gary and Artie. He said that Gary's lips look like a St. Bernard's labia. He also goofed on Artie but the delay was hit. He wanted Artie to come back to drinking so Howard had to tell him that Artie was already back to drinking. Triumph didn't have anything to say about Fred because he's no more exciting than a bobble head doll. Triumph also said that it's going to suck when Howard leaves radio and goes to satellite because he used to be able to do one show and reach everyone, now he'll have to do shows with people like Goumba Johnny. He said that his conk shell has more listeners than Goumba Johnny does. Howard gave Triumph another couple of plugs for the NY Comedy Festival. Triumph also brought up the 60 Minutes thing and how Ed Bradley is going to be interviewing Howard. He went off on Bradley a little bit and said that they're like the people from Cocoon over there at 60 Minutes. Howard mentioned that he had been reprimanded about talking about his interview with Ed Bradley but didn't say why that was.
Triumph talked about the problems he's had with some of the people he's goofed on in the past. He brought up the Eminem problems and told some more jokes about him. He also goofed on Robin and said he had to do at least one joke about her since everyone out there was waiting for one. Triumph went off on CBS news and said that Howard is actually more trustworthy than the people on CBS news. Howard said he offered to help them out and do their newscasts but they didn't want him. Triumph said that he thinks that David Lee Roth won't last long once he replaces Howard. He said that he'll be replaced by Sammy Hagar within 2 weeks. He also said that Roth is a trained EMT and he's got to be trained in that because he has to revive the hookers after they see him without his toupee on. He was goofing on the other guys they got to replace Howard and said that Penn Jillette was going to do another trick... Saw Infinity's profits in half.
Howard asked Triumph if he was going to do some singing. Triumph said that ''the Jew'' had lost his script so he needed some time to find that. Howard gave him another plug for the comedy show he's doing and then Triumph came back with his notes. He went through the stuff he'd already gone through and said he had some jokes about the President. He had some black jokes for Robin that he quickly read for her. Howard asked him to go off on Craig Ferguson who competes against Conan's show but Triumph said that he's not allowed to go off on him. He said that it's an unspoken rule that he doesn't goof on the competition. Triumph would only say that all of the other talk show hosts suck.
Triumph said he just wanted to talk more about this show that he's doing. He went on to crack some jokes about Danny Bonaduce and Paris Hilton but the delay was hit again. Triumph showed Howard the replica doll of himself that they're selling now after saying that he wanted to plug his stuff. Triumph wasn't sure that they could perform the song that he wrote because it might offend Infinity. He went ahead and tried it anyway. He had Conan's keyboard player playing for him as he sang about round worm. Most of the song made it to the air but Artie figured that they weren't on the air anymore.
Dan the Song Parody Man called in and said that he heard that Jackie the Joke Man believes that he inspired the Triumph character with his Jackie puppet on the show. That theory didn't seem to make much sense though and Triumph went on to sing some more of his songs. He sang one song about Benji (the dog) being queer but the delay was hit. Howard wrapped up after that and gave Triumph a couple more plugs and then went to break.
Howard said last week they wanted to send out an intern to do an interview with Jay Leno who was doing something locally but they couldn't make that happen. Gary came in and told Howard how they tried to find someone to get them a microphone but it didn't happen. Tom came in and said that they could have found the engineers if they had made some phone calls and asked around but they didn't bother to do that. Tom said they could have gone out and purchased a microphone if it came down to that. Tom didn't think Gary was being reasonable because there were ways to get in touch with the people they needed to get in touch with. Gary said they spent a lot of time looking for the stuff and wasted so much time doing that they figured they didn't have time to get to the interview anyway. Robin said that Gary's argument wasn't crazy because you'd think that a radio station would have a tape recorder and microphone.
Howard brought up the party idea again and told Tom that he's just going to end his show the way it started, right in the studio. No big party. Gary asked Howard about the idea to do a roast of Tom. Howard wasn't even sure what that was about but he said he didn't want to do it. Gary also brought up how much controversy is going on around the company because they're going to be firing people come January. He said he has a pretty good idea who will be doing the afternoons on WXRK when Howard leaves. Gary wrote it down for Howard and Howard said he heard the rumor that The Radio Chick would be taking over afternoons once they leave. Tom said that Howard doesn't know everything... but his sources have been right about a bunch of stuff so far. Howard said they have 30 days of live shows left and it can't come fast enough. He said he can't wait to leave.
Gary said that he was talking to someone who has worked with the show for a long time and he was crying when they were talking about how great it's been. He said that they seem to be leaving behind some people who have been working with them for so long. Ralph called in and told Howard he can't believe that the company is treating him like an enemy after all of the time he's worked for them. Howard said that Joel Hollander is the one out there bad mouthing him and he can't bring himself to compliment him in any way. Howard said he's not looking at Infinity as an enemy but when Joel is out there bad mouthing him, it's hard not to.
Robin asked Tom what he thinks about the company not throwing him a big party. Howard said that Tom doesn't agree with it and would love to throw him a party. Tom said that he'd like to see a party for Howard and his crew but not for the audience. He also said that there's business to consider here and they're not looking to ''feed the stove'' of satellite radio to say goodbye to their employee. Howard told Tom that he's not even looking at just satellite radio, he wants to get content on many levels, not just radio. He said that terrestrial radio isn't looking at the big picture. Robin wanted to ask Tom some questions but he wouldn't talk to her and turned off his headphones.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked if the problems the company is having with Howard have something to do with Mel Karmazin going to SIRIUS after leaving Viacom. Howard said that may have something to do with it but he has such plans for the new place that he doesn't care. He said he has no hatred for Joel so he is shocked that he's out there bad mouthing him now that he's leaving. He said that Joel should be sitting in the background and letting his new radio personalities speak for themselves. Tom was saying that Howard has bad mouthed the terrestrial radio industry so he shouldn't be surprised that the company is firing back at him. Howard said that he didn't do it until he heard Joel's comments. He went on to say that this type of radio (Terrestrial) will no go away, they'll go on to have a very successful industry. He's not sure how many people will even follow him to the new place but it would have been nice for the company to thank his fans for supporting them for 20 years. Artie said it was kind of strange for David Lee Roth to assume that he was going to have millions of listeners when he steps in for Howard. They talked about how Dave will have to earn those listeners, he can't just step in and assume that he'll have millions listening.
Howard said that he wants to replay some of the bits that they've done over the years before they leave but they won't even be allowed to play many of them because of the FCC worries. He said that he can't stop people from listening to terrestrial radio because he's no god so he doesn't know why the company is so paranoid about him leaving. He had to get the show over with so he wrapped up with Tom and took another break before getting to Robin's news
King called back a little while later and said that Howard was kind of bumming him out saying that he didn't want him doing a show with other people. King said he can't just take phone calls, he has to do other things. He also thinks that he's not part of the Wack Pack even though Howard and Robin think that he is. King was also saying that Gary told him that Beth didn't want to come in the studio with him. Gary came in and said that he just told King that Beth may not want to go into the studio and asked him if he would take a phone call from her instead. King said he was just messing with Gary so he wasn't serious about that. He felt better after Howard told him to just do whatever he wants on his radio show. Howard ended the show a short time later, around 10:30am.
Howard started off the morning wondering where to start. He said he'd been up since 2 in the morning this morning and it may have had something to do with the 60 Minutes interview he did with Ed Bradley yesterday. He said that kind of rattled him. Artie thought that Howard has done that show before but Howard said that's never happened. Howard said that he did start to well up when Ed asked him some questions about his crew. He said he couldn't believe it was happening at the time and almost cried. Bradley noticed his emotional state and asked him about it which may have stopped him from crying. Howard explained how he was talking about the crew and what they meant to him and that's when he broke down. He said that he was asked if he's difficult to work with and he realized that he was so he explained how he could have done things differently with some of them and welled up with tears. He said he just assumed that working with him was enough but realized that maybe he should have socialized more with the people he works with. He's been woozy for weeks because of the stuff he's been up to lately so he's tired and very emotional about all of this stuff.
Howard said Ralph watched the interview and saw Howard almost break down. Howard said that Ralph thinks that Ed saved him when he interrupted and said that he was getting emotional. Howard was able to hold the tears back so he didn't actually cry. They're still scheduled to do some other interviews about his personal life and stuff so they're going to be walking through Roosevelt where he grew up. Howard said he also didn't get out a lot of what he wanted to say and thinks that he didn't get everything out he wanted to get out yesterday. Part of it has to do with the way he's been treated in these final months. He said that Gary gave him a full page ad that Infinity Broadcasting took out to explain what they're going to be doing when he leaves. Howard explained that when Clear Channel dumped him, he sat back and watched their radio stations fail. He wanted to read the notes he had about the stations he was taken off of. The stations all failed and dropped from the top 5 or so to as low as the 20s in the ratings. He said that Infinity has now purchased ads in Adage magazine and now they're bashing him by saying that even fart jokes get old after 20 years and how they're going to be freshening their line up.
There's also now a problem with the interview that Howard did with David Lee Roth to use as a promo for Dave's upcoming show. Howard played a clip from a promo that they're going to be running on the local station there in New York. They're promoting Dave but not using any clips so Howard said he doesn't have a problem with that. He said he wants to hear this clip that they're using in Cleveland where they edited the interview. Howard says he doesn't care and that he's moving to satellite and he's going to be free. He doesn't care if he has all of the listeners he has now, he just cares about being free. While talking about the ''Free FM'' that Infinity is promoting is anything but ''Free.'' They don't have any freedom. He was starting to bash the company when the delay started getting hit by good ol' Tom and Dead Air Dave. He explained how many delay hits there were yesterday during the show and how bad they chopped up the show during the Triumph interview.
Howard said he has an idea for a new show where they'll have a woman come on the air and get guys off before bed. He said he needs a few days to make that happen but he should have it going in a few days. He'll have the woman giving phone sex and that's what he believes his audience wants to hear. He said they will get it in spades and no one will believe the stuff he puts on the air over there at the new place. Howard tried to get in an ad for SIRIUS but the delay was hit on him once again. He said that if Infinity is going to put ads out bashing his show, he's going to start telling everyone what's going to happen when he moves to the new place. The only problem is that Tom has his finger on that friggin button.
Tom came in to try and calm Howard down but Howard told him not to say a word because the company is out there bashing him. He wants Tom to take a stand and not tell him that he has nothing to do with this stuff. He wants him to stand up to Joel already. He said that Joel is a Mel wanna-be and that's it. Howard told Tom there is no freedom there on his station and calling their upcoming format ''Free FM'' is nonsense. He complained about the amount of commercials he has to do on the show and how the people in Los Angeles have to sit through 20 minutes of commercials so they can hear the show. Tom admitted that he doesn't like the ad that Infinity took out that Howard was reading earlier. He doesn't want Howard lashing out at them though because they will have to censor the show. Howard asked Tom what he should do when Joel takes out an ad like that. Tom suggested that Howard take a commercial break. Howard said he's had it with the breaks and them making even more money off his show after they bash him.
Howard told Tom that he hates getting an e-mail from a fan telling him that they're using his voice out in Cleveland. He hates that they're trying to stick it to him in that ad that he mentioned earlier. He wanted to end this whole thing like a gentleman but they're making it hard. He doesn't want them chopping up his voice to make an ad promoting David Lee Roth. It almost seems as if they're trying to anger him by taking out that ad in Adage magazine. He said that Joel is pushing him to start bashing him on the air by doing that stuff. He doesn't understand why they have to bash him and why they won't give him his tapes if they think he sucks so much.
Howard said he would give his prediction on Joel and say exactly where he's going to end up. He doesn't know how he's not supposed to respond to that ad they took out. His shrink would probably tell him to laugh at all of this and think of it as a compliment though. He said he's going to come out looking like a rose after all of this stuff though. He had to blow off some steam though.
Howard read some e-mail that he's gotten about the tapes that are being used in Cleveland. He would like to know exactly what they're doing with his tapes though. In Tampa the station gave away a TV right over his show. There have been other stations who cut his show off early and start commercials early in the middle of his show. He said he's not going to sit and be a whipping dog for Joel Hollander. He told Tom that he just can't do that. A listener called in ad told Howard how they were chopping up his show as he was talking about the Free FM thing earlier. Howard said of course they do that, it's ''Free FM'' and now he can't even give his thoughts out on the air without getting censored. He said he really was going to wish Joel and Infinity luck with their new venture but they really don't have to come out and bash him. He said that his audience isn't going to like that stuff and it's the audience that they're trying to court. Now he wants to see a full page apology from Joel for that ad in Adage.
Howard asked Tom how he should respond and Tom told him to not respond. Howard can't not respond to something like that though. He was going to go to break but Robin got him talking again and Tom was giving them some ''Ugh'' sounds because he just wanted them to go to break. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said that Eric started at 6 this morning and will be on for 24 hours just eating and pooping. Gary said that he got a call from Tim Sabean who wanted to hire a home nurse to weigh the stuff. He said that every person they called would hang up on them. Gary suggested that they call a zoo and find someone to help out from a zoo. The last thing Gary heard was that Tim was going to have Shuli weigh it.
Howard told king that he wants him to just talk about stuff on his own and pretend that he's being interviewed by someone but he'll actually be interviewing himself. He wants him to talk about sex and how he likes that and maybe talk about his life. He just wants him to come clean and talk about his life openly. Howard mentioned that he let Mariann from Brooklyn call in and take over the show for too long last night. King said he knows, he knows, and he was being directed as to what to do on that show and he now knows what to do. He took Howard's advice and said he will do whatever he takes. Howard told him, once again, that his show was as bad as it gets. King needs to do his show on his own and maybe bring guests in later on.
Gary read some reviews about King's show where people complained about how bad it was going. King said that Gary was killing him by reading that stuff though. Howard had Angry Black on the phone a short time later and let him go off on King. The two of them were talking over each other a little bit but Angry let King get in a few words before saying that he already had his train wreck and now he gets to hear King's train wreck of a show. He laughed and said he was happy that it went so bad for him. Angry thinks that he'll get another shot on the air but King doesn't seem believe that will happen. Howard told Angry that he was actually better than King was when he did his radio show. Angry laughed again so King asked Howard if he thinks Angry could carry a show better than he could. Howard said that King shouldn't be bashing Angry because his show was so bad.
King and Angry were going off on each other, talking all over each other so Howard had to try and break in to give King some suggestions for his show tonight. King has another half hour show tonight following Howard 100 News. King said he knows what he has to do and then asked Robin who she thinks is the better looking guy. Robin said that King has the better face and Angry has the better body. The two of them were all over each other again. King was talking about all of his nice clothes and how Angry doesn't have all of the stuff that he does. Howard told King that this is what people want to hear on his show. He ended up hanging up on both of them because they continued to talk all over each other. He had to go to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a new listener who has been listening for about a year and a half now. He's 52 years old and loves the show. He thinks that a lot of people just don't get the show but he does. Howard went on to say that there is no entertainer out there who is loved by all. There are millions of people who do love his show but there are a lot who don't like it. He wants to be able to do the show he wants to do it though and that's what he's going to do when he moves to the new place. Howard and the caller talked about the wacky religious right and how they want to take away a woman's right to choose and even want gay people dead. That's the kind of mentality they're dealing with now that they're pushing the FCC to go where they're going. The caller asked Howard for a prize, through Robin, so Howard gave him $500. The guy sounded thrilled that he had actually won something. Howard let him go and took another call.
Jason came in and told Howard that they'll have some of Heidi's pictures up on Howard's web site in a short time. Howard said that she's really hot and has a great voice for doing the phone sex thing. They spent a couple more minutes talking about the new show but the delay was hit a couple more times.
Howard played an audio clip of Dennis Rodman talking about him on the Donny Deutsch show. Rodman had some nice words to say about Howard and what he's done for the radio industry. Howard also played a clip from Ellen Degeneres' show where she talked about how they left a seat open for Rosa Parks in their audience that day.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that he's going to miss the show since he won't be able to afford the SIRIUS radio. Howard ended up giving him a $500 prize so maybe he could afford it after that. The guy was a college student so Howard could kind of understand where he was coming from. He said he hopes that he can afford the radio after getting the $500.
Elliot told Howard that he's putting out this tape to show this amazingly hot woman Violet on the tape and everyone is going to want to know about what he's up to. He said the tape is $20 and will be available at The Funny Store at 693 8th Ave in New York City. Howard asked him about the other part of the tape where Elliot talks about his life of crime. Elliot said he was in prison for State and Federal Racketeering charges, kidnapping, possession of high power weapons, felonious assault and other things. It's all on his New York State rap sheet. He said that the whole thing was based on something he was involved with where he would make phone calls to people and convince them to send him truckloads of goods. He said he was getting $300,000 truckloads full of stuff that he was using in his import/export business. He would take the merchandise, sell it, and not pay them for the products.
Elliot said that he would use just his word to get 30-45 day credit and that's how he was able to get the stuff and sell it. Then he'd have the stuff heisted and he'd disappear. Elliot explained how he had all kinds of law enforcement on his ass and would disappear with this guy Randy Jacobs (an Alias) and the child he had with him at the time. Robin wondered how much money he could make. Elliot said that it was estimated that he made about $30 million on the stuff he was stealing. He would move the stuff out as fast as possible and would sell it at about 25 cents on the dollar. He finally got caught after this drag net plan came through and caught him. He said that this cop who caught him, John Kelly, was able to put a stake out cop at every phone booth in a certain area to catch him doing his thing. They found him in New York and knew that he would use one of these pay phones. They had about 50 of these guys and had the phones tapped according to Elliot. Within 15 seconds of making his last call, he was caught and arrested.
Elliot said he got three years in Rikers Island but he could have gotten 23 years. He said that he had a great lawyer who helped him get out of the charges and lowered the time to 3 years behind bars. While Elliot was talking he kept saying ''Right?'' in a very strange way and Robin figured he was doing a ''gangsta'' thing by doing that. Elliot said that he still gets phone calls these days from investigators who are trying to find out how he can live the way he lives. He said they think that he's using the money he used from the heist but he claims that it's the help he's gotten from Howard Stern promoting his diet advice newsletter.
Howard gave Elliot a plug for his new video and said it will be available on ElegantElliot.com starting later this month. Captain Janks called in a short time later and told Elliot what he thinks of him and what a freak he is. Elliot fired back at him and called him some names. Gary asked Elliot if he left in the stuff from his regular life that he had in an early cut. Elliot said it is still in the video and Gary told Howard he has to see that scene. Another phone caller told Elliot what a freak he thinks he is and how he can't stand to hear him on the air.
Ralph called in and said that he can't imagine falling for any kind of business deal with a guy who acts the way this guy does. Elliot said that most people are dumb just like Ralph is so they fall for anything. Elliot ended up cursing out Ralph for the things he was saying so the delay was hit a few more times. Howard had to let Ralph off the phone so they could calm Elliot down. Gary heard that Elliot was a master of accents as well so they asked him to give them examples of that. Elliot gave a long explanation for why he would do it and then went into a Southern accent that really wasn't all that great, but it did change his voice. Elliot said that the first 13 minutes of the video is about this past life of his. A caller asked Elliot about his brother living as a bum but Elliot didn't want to get into that stuff. Elliot ended up cursing again and got the delay hit once again before Howard wrapped up the interview with him.
Howard had Will Murray come in with the list of bets they could place. He read off the list and said they could bet on his first movement over/under 1 pound. Robin thinks it will be under but Fred was saying that they could be under but often. Jeff the Drunk was on the phone so Howard let him give an update. Jeff said that Eric had eaten 6 pieces of chicken and a bunch of beef patties so far. He apparently had a lot of grease on his hands and had fed his dog a piece of something and then licked his fingers. Howard wanted to find out when Eric's last movement was so they could figure out what to bet on. Jason told them that Eric had his last one at 9:30 last night. Jason had to go through Tim who was on the phone with Shuli who was in Eric's apartment. Eric didn't eat anything after that last movement at 9:30 last night. This morning he started eating again and had a bunch of tacos. Shuli had to get going to get back on the air. Jeff the Drunk said that they weighed the food they got from Taco Bell and it weighed 10 pounds.
Howard decided to bet $100 that Eric's first movement would be under a pound. Robin took the over. Artie and Fred wanted the under on it as well so Robin was in for $100 with each of them on the over. The delay was hit when Howard asked the guys about the second and third movements. Jeff was giving Howard updates as they were placing their bets. Jeff said that Eric was getting ready to go as he was listening in. The delay hits were coming like crazy as Jeff gave them a run down of what was going on. Gary then came in and broke the news to Howard that they were almost out of delay according to Tom Chiusano. He said that it was the description of the excretory stuff that was getting the delay hit. Howard and Artie found that it was hard to believe they were getting the delay hit that way. Gary also told Howard that Tom was out of delay and out of patience. Howard said he doesn't care if he's out of patience because he's out of patience as well.
Howard had to ask Jeff to stop with the descriptions of what was going on because Tom had a problem with it. He said he just wanted to know what the doody weighed so he could find out if he won his bet or not. Howard was hoping for a low weight since he had the under. Jeff said that they hadn't weighed it yet. Howard explained that the delay hits are the reason he can't wait to get out of there. He wants to do the show that they're doing without the delay hits. Jeff gave Howard more details and said that Eric was still going so they had to bring in a second dump.
While they waited for the results of the first movement, Howard read some other notes about what they could bet on. Howard and the guys continued to talk about the stuff even though the delay hits were still coming. Jason let Howard know that Shuli was on the phone and told them that they weren't sure if Eric had missed the scale or not. Ralph called in and said something that got the delay hit again. It was apparently too descriptive. Ralph wanted to bet on what Eric weighed before and after this eat-fest. Howard cut Ralph off and heard from Jason that Eric still hadn't finished going to the bathroom. Richard Christy came in and told Howard that they were listening in the back room and it was the funniest thing. Delay hit again. Howard said it was very difficult to get any information about what was going on. Jason let Howard know that Eric was stuck on the bowl they had set up for him but he was done.
Gary came in and told Howard that Tom says that this stuff has to stop. Howard didn't know what he wanted stopped. Howard just wanted the weight. Jason said that they were trying the bag shut and weighing it as they were talking. Shuli was on the phone and it was under 1 pound. Jason found out that it was ''two lines before the pound'' but it wasn't clear what that meant. It turns out it was a half pound of doody. Robin lost the first bet since she had the over. Artie still thinks that Eric will go over the 3.5 pounds through this 24 hour period.
A listener told Howard how great he thought all of this was and how much fun it was to listen in. Gary said it really did sound funny and it was a shame they couldn't listen in as it was going on. Howard had to take a break but he had Eric the Midget on the phone.
Gary told Eric that things don't happen overnight and they had to work on this whole thing for a few weeks. Eric was also looking for a show on Howard 100 since ''everyone else'' has gotten shows. Gary also reminded Eric that Howard got him a role on a TV show, ''American Dreams,'' already but he seems to overlook that when he's calling Howard a big nosed troll. Gary asked Eric who else is paying attention to him and why he'd go off on people who treat him so well. Gary asked Eric if he would fly in and be part of the Wack Pack Enclave in return for the favors that they've done for him. Howard doesn't want that though.
Eric eventually apologized for what he had done and thanked Howard for what he has done for him. Howard told Eric that he does have Simon Cowell booked for next week so he will hook him up on the phone next week. Eric asked him for a test show on Howard 100 as well but the guys told him to ask for one thing at a time. Howard let him go because he had James Brown waiting to come in.
Howard said that they have a lot of goodbye shows coming up in the next few weeks but Las Vegas won't be there. One caller asked Howard if they were going to do a Las Vegas show when they're on the new service. Howard said he's pretty sure they'll make it out there.
and his wife Tommi Rae who showed up a little late today. Howard said that Tommi was looking good today and it was nice to see the two of them still together. James told Howard that he's one of the greatest to have ever lived and that he was the best. He was saying goodbye to Howard and the crew on old fashioned radio but he'll be back on satellite. Brown had a few nice words to say to him even though some of it was kind of mumbled. Howard said that meant a lot coming from someone he used to idolize as a child. He said the kids in his school never would have believed that he would be hearing that form the great James Brown when he was a little kid.
Howard reminded James about the time he was on the show and performed a song with The Losers including Gary who tried to play trumpet. He played some of the audio from that performance to remind everyone just how bad The Losers really were... especially Gary's horrible trumpet playing. Howard played keyboard and Fred played guitar. Gary came in after that and said that Mr. Brown was a good guy and tried to give him some advice on his playing that day. He told him he had to play on the up beat instead of the down beat.
Howard told James that his appearances on the show were some of the greatest moments on his show that he could remember. He and James shared some words on how highly they think of each other for a short time. Howard asked James how things are going with Tommi Rae. They are living in the same house and they're happy, fighting, making up and loving it all. Tommi said that she'll never leave James and would kill anyone who tried to take him away. Howard talked to her about the ass implants that she got even though they went over that the last time she was on the show. James said that he thought she'd look much better with the ass and things have gotten better and better for her since it was done.
Howard asked James about what he thinks about Tommi's ass and if it was a good move for her. James said it was the greatest move in the world and laughed as he gave his answer. Tommi said she still has to work out and keep her ass molded. James was laughing quite a bit while they were discussing all of that. Howard asked James about what he's been arguing with Tommi about lately. He said that he's been trying to get her to go back to doing rock and roll. Tommi said that she's not even sure why they argue about anything. She said that she doesn't have any reason to argue with him but they do have different ideals because they're from different generations. James is old fashioned and she's not. James interrupted her and said that she's got opinions that can't happen. Tommi thinks that James wants her naked in the house all the time. She's looking to do more things with her family than he wants her to. She's now realizing that she can't have that life she's looking for.
James said that he doesn't want to spend the time doing what she wants to do because he's too old for that. He does enjoy watching his son doing his thing but has more fun doing what he does best which is music. He said his wife just doesn't listen to him sometimes and that's what they argue about. Howard asked James and Tommi about what their favorite sex positions are and found out that James is an old fashioned guy and likes doing it in just one position. Howard asked Tommi if he likes going down below. Tommi said that he doesn't like it but he will go down there. She said she's a good teacher and taught him very well. She said she has no complaints but he does like to do it very often and she has to ask to get out of there sometimes. She said that he sometimes has her doing it 3 times a day. Howard found that hard to believe but Tommi said that she was serious about that. Robin was shocked to hear that as well. Even James said that she was just saying that and it wasn't really true.
Howard gave James a couple of plugs for the stuff he's involved with these days. He's going to be on a ''Hurricane Relief'' album and he also performs in the Black Eyed Peas song ''They Don't Want Music .'' Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later and went to commercial break.
Jeff let Howard know that Eric was eating chicken again and had grease up to his knuckles again. Howard asked Robin if she's still confident with her bet that it will be over 3.5 pounds. She's still hanging in there with that bet and Artie said he thinks the dumps will get heavier later on. Gary came in and said he's not sure if Eric is eating to show off or just eating to eat. He said that Jason thinks that he eats like that all the time but he's thinking that Eric is showing off. Artie said that Eric probably can't afford to eat like this all the time but he would if he could. Jeff said he would fill them in later on about what's going on. Howard replayed the clip of Eric trying to sit on the bowl again and calling his dog Sadie to come up on his lap.
Artie said that Eric has to be the most disgusting human being on Earth. Fred said that Jeff Levy the vomit guy might be up there as well but Artie was sticking with Eric as being the most disgusting one. Joey Boots called in to give them an update on what was going on but the delay was hit so we didn't hear his update. Joey said he thinks that Eric is eating to show off and this isn't the way he'd be eating any other day. Howard let him go after that and had Robin start her news.
Eric said that when he sat on the plastic bowl they had him sitting on, he thought it was going to collapse so he made a strange noise when he sat on it. Howard let him go after that and said he heard that he was estimating that he'd have to go again at 11 o'clock but he's not sure how he'd know that.
A listener called in and asked Howard to replay some prank calls that Yucko the Clown and others have been making lately. Howard told the guy that he'd replay them tomorrow morning since they were starting Robin's news.
Howard couldn't get over the smell that was coming from his pits this morning. He apologized to everyone for stinking and said that he has a really long day coming up. He said he's going to have to switch back to the old deodorant he was using to get the stink under control.
Richard asked Howard to have a microphone on her ''down low'' so they could hear what's going on down there as well. Gary thinks that he should be producing her show since he's so into the whole thing. Gary let Heidi know that he'd be calling her in a short time to set up the gig. Howard played a clip of her from her SexxxyNoises tapes that they mixed in with some clips of Robin to make it sound like the two of them were having sex. Doug Goodstein called in a short time later and said that this could be the flagship show for Howard Stern On Demand. He also wanted to find out if Heidi needed any visual toys to use for when they shoot her stuff for the new TV show but she wasn't on the phone so he couldn't ask. Howard had Robin finish up her news and ended the show at about 10:45am.
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Howard started off the show talking about another sleepless night. He had to wait for Robin to come in before getting into it more. She had to get her makeup on before coming in though. Howard went on to talk about how he was looking at himself in the mirror the other night and thought he was kind of looking good. He was a bit aroused so he started to walk over to her room to show off. Then he caught a glimpse of his lumpy ass in another mirror and wondered who he is to be going to Beth's room. He said his ass still looks like it did back in the Fartman days. He was also talking about shaving his ass hairs and what a pain it is. He said he wanted to get into it even more but the delay would probably be hit on him if he did.
Howard talked about the 26 times that the dump button was hit during yesterday's show alone. He said this is the reason they can't do the type of show he wants to do. The guys said they can't imagine what the show must sound like these days when they hit the button so many times. Howard said he's not even sure how anyone can listen to the show anymore. He wishes that they'd just pull him off the air already.
Howard said that Ed Bradley ran into Ralph Howard who works over at Howard 100 News and remembered working with him years ago so he asked him what the hell he was doing. Ralph Howard let him know that the audience that's going to be listening to their news cast is huge and even bigger than most news stations. Benjy said that he fell asleep listening to the show last night and woke up in the middle of the night listening to a couple of guys, Joey Boots and Irish John, arguing about who came up with the term ''faggot'' first while Eric was yelling at his dog as it was barking. He described what he remembers hearing as he was drifting in and out of sleep last night. Howard tuned in to hear Eric snoring in the middle of the night. Gary heard some of the stuff in the middle of the night and talked about the Irish John and Joey Boots argument.
Howard said that one of his favorite moments was when Eric had his dog on his lap as he was pooping for the first time. He played the clip on the show yesterday and replayed it this morning. Eric called his dog Sadie over as he was on the toilet and kept it on his lap as he went to the bathroom. Sadie growled the whole time Eric was holding her. Ralph had told Howard that the dog was a mess and it's hair was all matted and it hadn't been cleaned in a long time. The guys goofed on Eric's voice as he was yelling at the dog to ''Stop it!'' Artie said that Eric's voice sounded really gross.
Howard took a call from Eddie the Produce Guy who hung out with Eric for a while. Eddie told him that he still stinks from being in the apartment. He's not sure how Richie and Shuli hung in there and stayed at the apartment as long as they did. Howard said that Shuli bailed out in the middle of the night though. He couldn't take it anymore. Gary said that there was one guy there who was hanging out and figured that all of the food was contaminated since it was in the middle of the room where the toilet was.
Howard said that the over/under for the amount of doody that Eric would make was 3.5 pounds. Eric ended up just going to the bathroom 3 times and the total doody was 1 pound, 3 ounces. Howard won his bets with Fred and Artie since they took the over. He said he thought he was going to be sunk until he heard that zoo keeper on Howard 100 News the other night talking about how a gorilla will only make about 2 pounds a day. There were some other bets that the guys placed as well so they went over some of those. There were bets about the over/under for the number of times that Eric would go doody. Howard ended up winning $1,100 total. Robin didn't win anything. Fred and Artie owed Howard $500 each while Robin owed him $100.
Howard played some audio from when Ralph threw up over at Eric's apartment. He walked in the apartment, started gagging and went out on the fire escape and threw up. Shuli called in and updated the guys by telling them that Eric had actually gone to the bathroom 4 times so they had to update their bets. Howard went on to ask Shuli to describe what Eric was eating. Shuli described these Jamaican Beef Patties that he started out with. He ate 3 or 4 of those, then had a few pieces of fried chicken, a bunch of iced tea that Mariann from Brooklyn brought over for him. She also brought over some Broccoli Raab that Eric doesn't like. Howard asked Shuli to go over all of this stuff on Howard 100 News tonight. Shuli apologized for not sticking around at the apartment but he wasn't going to sleep on any piece of furniture there.
Shuli told Howard that Eric ate over 10 pounds of food total yesterday. He went over some of the other stuff that Eric actually ate and the way he ate it. The grease on his hands was up past his knuckles and he was typing on his computer with the grease on them. Howard asked Shuli and Jason if Eric is a monster. Both of them said he is. Shuli described some of what was going on but the delay button started getting hit and it was hit multiple times during the description.
Howard said he was listening to the stuff yesterday and realized that this is the type of stuff he used to do on his show before they started getting fined. Now he realizes that he's doing the right thing by going over there and it's going to be hard core and funny, just the way his audience wants it. Shuli said that at one point, Eric stood up in the middle of his apartment, with no pants on, and asked for some privacy as he was wiping himself.
Robin and Howard talked about the way the dump button was hit yesterday and how ridiculous it is that it was hit 26 times. Howard said that Ed Bradley wondered if it's the fact that he's walking the edge on terrestrial radio that gets people to listen. Howard said he doesn't need boundaries and people are going to listen if he has the ability to hear him uncensored. He's not into doing the show anymore the way it is so when he moves he'll be able to do it.
Howard let Shuli know that he did a great job with Eric yesterday and thanked him for doing that. Shuli sarcastically thanked Howard for letting him do it. Howard also mentioned that they have pictures of Shuli working over at Eric's apartment up on HowardStern.com today. He showed Robin and the guys what they had and described each picture as he went along. He said that his news team will have more coverage tonight on Howard 100 News. Gary was also working on pulling some clips so Howard could play them a little later. Shuli told the guys about how disgusting everything was over at Eric's apartment and how gross that was before Howard had to take another break.
Howard said that he's going to be putting his old home movies on his On Demand show so he has to go through that stuff for Doug Goodstein. Doug is also going to be working on the Heidi Cortez show that they talked about during yesterday's show. Heidi Coretez's Tissue Time will air on Howard 100 starting next week. Howard also mentioned that King of All Blacks second show aired last night and it got a rating of about a 2 after his first show rated at about a zero. Howard and the guys talked about what King did wrong so King called in to talk about it. He was told that he just doesn't have it when he's trying to carry his own show. King sounded kind of bummed out when he heard that coming from Howard. Howard told him he's a better guest than a host. He said that Tim Sabean tried to have a meeting with King but he feels that King is one of those guys who thinks he knows everything and can't listen to suggestions.
Gary said that he liked the part where King was talking about how he used to beat his wife and how he used to get more respect from her when he was doing that. Howard told him he's got to open up on the show and talk to other people about it. Robin also told him that he should be telling people what they should be wearing like he does when he comes on the show. He needs to have some show prep so he can be ready to do the shows before he goes on. Howard would like to hear King get up to a 10 show eventually instead of the 2 he had last night. He said that King just didn't have his attention last night and he's got to find some way to interview himself.
Ralph called in a short time later and explained how King doesn't know what makes him interesting. That's what Howard brings out in him when he's a guest. Howard said that's right and asked him some questions to demonstrate what he should be talking about on the show. King had a nice sign off last night where he said that he wants to die before his parents die so he doesn't have to see them go first. He thought that was interesting. Howard also had King talking about how he used to beat his wife and why he would do it. That's the kind of interesting stuff he wants to hear on King's show. King said he would beat her after she would ignore the garbage that he left on the floor. He said he would ask her why she didn't pick it up and he'd end up slapping her for not picking it up. Then he'd make her pick it up and throw it away. Howard asked King if all of that worked and if she listens to him now. King said he didn't do it all that much and he doesn't think that anyone should hit a woman... but you do get results when you do. Ralph said that's what he wanted to hear last night and wanted to hear him call his wife to find out how she feels about all of that stuff. Ralph also said that King came off like an a-hole on his show but he's really not like that.
King has another show tonight and he'll be interviewing Beth O so it should be interesting. Howard told King that Double A had his show all planned out before he did it. Sal came in and told Howard that he's got to cut King off somewhere and not let him keep doing shows like this if they're all going to be bad. Howard said that he's giving King the whole week to work out his show. King asked Howard who he thinks is more interesting, Angry Black or him. Howard told him that neither one of them are interesting to him at this point. Angry was on the phone a short time later and said that he thought the show was horrible and his train is still going off the tracks. Angry's show didn't go over well with Howard either. The two of them were talking all over each other again so Howard had to pot them down so he could take another phone call.
A listener called in and gave his review of King's show and complained about the way he was jumping all over the place with his subjects. King said that he believes that he still has a future in radio even if people weren't happy with his show last night. Howard wished King luck with the show he's doing tonight with Beth. King said he knows that Howard knows that he's got a place on radio and that hit's only going to get better. He said that he knows that Howard's criticism is real and the other people calling in aren't being real with him. Howard said he loves King but it's a cut throat game out there on radio so he can't put just anyone on. He let King go after that and said he had a bunch of guests coming in and a lot of stuff to get to.
In another clip Shuli was describing what Eric was doing as he sat in his toilet again to make his second dump. Howard told Eric he liked that he cared about Shuli when he asked him to put on his mask to cover up the smell. They had to edit down the audio so we couldn't hear any of the details of what was actually going on. Howard played another clip where Eric tried Mariann from Brooklyn's broccoli raab and almost threw up. He also showed Robin a picture of Eric's dog and then played the clip where Ralph walked into Eric's apartment and almost threw up out on his fire escape. Robin was surprised to hear that some of those people who were at his apartment actually come back after going there once.
Ralph called in and told Howard how horrible things are there in his apartment. The smell is horrible and they had the windows closed to keep the noise down. He said he actually dry heaved a few times just looking around the apartment because it was so gross. Eric said he realizes that people say that stuff about his apartment... but he doesn't do anything about it. Ralph said that the best way to torture someone would be to lock someone in Eric's apartment. Jason came in and said that they have pictures of Ralph out on the fire escape throwing up that they'll put on Howard's web site. Ralph described Eric's bed and how it's all dirty. The guy doesn't even use blankets, he just lays in his bed and sleeps. Ralph was also saying that Eric's bathroom is really gross and there's no way he cleans it. Eric claims he just cleaned it the other day but Ralph didn't believe it because it was so dirty.
Howard played a clip from Howard 100 News where they reported on the High Pitch thing. It was heavily bleeped so Howard made it clear that they don't bleep anything over at SIRIUS. In the report they have the news team talking about Eric's filthy living room and how he was there to eat and poop. They interviewed Ralph about what he thought about the disgusting apartment and stuff like that. Howard said they had a full 1 hour report about it so he couldn't play the whole thing. There was another clip where the news team interviewed Stern fans about what they thought about the whole thing. The delay was hit at least one time during the replay of one news report. Tom has an itchy trigger finger on the delay these days and seems to be censoring out everything he can. Howard wrapped up after that and gave Eric a $500 prize for doing what he did.
Howard quickly mentioned that they have a picture of James Brown up on his web site and in the background is Benjy who looks huge. They goofed on him for a few seconds and then Howard had to go to break. He wanted to play a bit going into commercial. The guys in the back took Eric the Midget's recent angry voice mail and used it to call a pizza place. The pizza place put him on hold so they had Eric complaining about that and then saying that they were disrespectful to him. The woman on the other end went off on him not knowing that it was a prank call.
Howard asked Jon if he's grey down below or not. Jon said that he is kind of grey but not ''Steve Martin grey.'' Artie said that he's got some grey down there and he's only 38 years old. Robin asked Howard if he'd be able to make love to a woman who had a face lift since they were talking about the aging thing. Howard said he's pretty sure he could sleep with a Teri Hatcher. There were more delay hits during that discussion. Howard told a story about how he knows some guys who were suckered into watching Teri Hatcher's kids one day when they got to hang out with her. They were so into trying to get laid that they played with her kid and let her go out to shop and out to dinner with another dude that night. Jon said she probably had some other dudes washing her car but Howard told him that they actually washed her car for her and he wasn't kidding. He didn't name names but said that one of the guys is really famous and the other two are pretty famous. Artie tried to figure it out and said that maybe one of them was Gilbert Gottfried.
Ralph called in to give the details for how to clipper down the hair down below but the delay was hit again. He had some tips on the settings to use for the Norelco clipper that Howard uses. He said it's best to set it on number 3 to trim that hair. Howard let him go and gave Jon some plugs for the comedy thing he's involved with and then asked him about the stories about how he was asked to replace Howard. Jon said that he did get a call from Infinity and was asked to take over for him. Jon said they were actually very nice when they called and they did seem to be worried that they're losing Howard. Howard told Jon about how the company is going around bashing him now. Jon thinks that might just be fear on their end and that's the only way they can handle things right now. He said that they're going to lose billions so that's why they're so upset. Jon said he had a half hour meeting with the people from Infinity and was asked if he was interested. Jon said it seemed like they were on a scavenger hunt for a replacement at the time.
Jon said that Howard should have kept this gig just to use it as a promotional tool since that's what it's become lately. Howard went on to talk about how excited he is about the stuff he has coming up over at the new place. Jon told Howard he likes the way they're building up the universe surrounding the show and really likes the news. He did have a complaint about the radio he has in his car and how he has to use a remote to control the radio because he can't reach it. Howard and Robin gave him some advice on how to use it since he didn't seem capable of figuring it out himself.
Howard talked to Jon about how much great press he gets and how 60 Minutes did an interviewed with him one time and it was a love fest. He also read an article about how Jon came in second only to Derek Jeter in a poll of who women thought was hot. Howard told Jon that he's the Jewish Brad Pitt because of that kind of stuff. He went on to talk to Jon about the 60 Minutes interviews he's been doing. He asked Jon if they took him back to his old neighborhood like they did with him. Jon said they spent a day with him at the show and did some other shoots where they tried to get him to break down and say something crazy that they can use in the promos. Howard told Jon how he almost broke down while Ed Bradley was interviewing him over the weekend. He said he welled up with tears but didn't actually cry. Jon found it hard to believe that he almost cried. Robin thought that it was funny how Jon enjoyed hearing that and she thinks everyone will want to tune in to see Howard almost cry. That led to the guys playing the audio of baseball player Mike Schmidt crying during a press conference when he was retiring. Artie really loves that clip and finds it funny that the guy hit 536 homers and broke down crying in that clip. Howard had some audio of Jon crying on his show so he asked the guys to bring that in. Jon told them they didn't have to do that.
Ralph called in and said he wanted to save Howard from himself during that 60 Minutes thing and knock over all of the cameras so they wouldn't catch Howard crying. Jon wondered if Ed Bradley was treating it as if it was surprising that Howard was almost human when he broke down like that. Howard figured that Bradley felt bad for him and didn't push him to cry even more. Robin thinks that they want to show Howard as an ogre and demon so they don't want Howard to show any emotion like that during the interview.
Howard talked about going back to his hometown yesterday with Ed Bradley and a few other people. While he was talking about that Fred was playing machine gun fire since his old neighborhood has become a war zone. Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard the interview was getting bleeped today. Gary said it had to do with the shaving stuff they were talking about earlier. That pissed Howard off so he went off on the company and said he's got to get out of there. Gary told Howard that he heard that they were getting too descriptive about their private parts. Tom Chiusano came in to tell them why they had to hit the delay but Howard told him it was fine, he's used to getting edited. He told Jon that things are just going to get worse for terrestrial radio because the FCC isn't going to be backing down at all.
Howard took a call from this guy Joe who was doing some security coverage for him yesterday. He told Howard that the Ed Bradley thing was very compelling and he just wanted to go over to Howard and hug him after he heard what was going on. Howard talked about how he never wanted to go back to that place after leaving it as a child. He described the scene there in Roosevelt from yesterday when they pulled up on a street that he didn't recognize at first. He said Ed Bradley walked him down his old home street and Ed had to tell him it was his old place. Howard said he started to freak out when he saw the house and it was really weird to see it. Ronnie the Limo Driver said that he saw Howard standing there and could almost picture him going back as a 15 year old kid and reliving things. Howard couldn't believe that it was his old house. He got to meet the guy who lives there now and he was a nice guy. There were some random black people coming up to him and asking him where the naked women were at. He wished he'd had that kind of fame back when he lived there.
Howard said they went to Roosevelt High School and ended up getting kicked out of there. Ronnie said the security guards at the school came running out and chased them away. Robin said that it was crazy that they have an army of security guards at the high school now. Ronnie said Howard got in the back of the car to go home after that and didn't say a word the whole way home. Howard said he was thinking about a lot of stuff after that. Joe was still on the phone and said that he thinks people are really going to get to know who Howard is when they see this interview on 60 Minutes. Howard was really freaked out according to Ronnie who saw it all happen yesterday.
Jon told Howard that he really appreciates what Howard has done for him in his career because he was his first guest on his MTV show. Jon said he has a lot of respect for Howard and the guys and knows what goes into a 4-5 hour show and didn't want to try and take over for him. Howard told Jon he's a really good guy and he's always liked him, that's why he appeared on that MTV show years ago. He gave Jon some plugs for the comedy gig he's doing out in Las Vegas on November 18th (TheComedyFestival.com) and found out he's getting paid six figures to do one show out there.
Howard asked Jon why he thanked David Letterman at the Emmy Awards and not Leno. Jon said there are some people in the industry that really influence you and he was excited to see Letterman there that night. He said he's glad that he did it. The guys talked about how great The Daily Show does for Comedy Central and Jon mentioned that they have The Colbert Report as well over there. Artie said that he saw an episode of that show and thought it was very funny.
Howard let Jason come in and kiss Jon's ass a little bit because he's such a big fan of his. Jason told Jon that he has a great show and he watches it every night. Gary said he was going to give Jason the thirty cents that fell out of Jon's pocket earlier since he's such a huge fan. Howard wrapped up with Jon after that and went to commercial break.
Howard asked if LT could play the game today if he wanted to go back. LT said he couldn't be out there running again but he could probably still make a contribution to the game if he wanted to. He's pretty sure that no team would pick him up though. He told the guys that he watches some NFL games these days but not all that many. Howard started to ask him a question but LT started to laugh before he got the question out. LT ended up goofing on Howard about how he ''cried like a bitch'' for the 60 Minutes interview. Howard told him that the interview hasn't aired yet so he's not even sure if they'll use that segment. Howard turned the tables on LT and tried to get him to cry by bringing up his son since he had broken down and cried during an interview about that subject one time. LT thought it was funny that these crazy white guys were trying to get him to cry again. Howard continued to try and get him to talk about his son but LT was just laughing at all of his questions. He eventually talked a little bit about his son but there were no tears.
Howard asked LT to talk about his relationship with the late Wellington Mara since he was pretty close to him and tried to get him to cry about that as well. LT ended up laughing again as Howard and Artie tried to get him to break down. Robin was getting in on it as well and tried to help out but that wasn't working either. Fred played some sad piano music in the background but that seemed to make him laugh even more.
Howard changed subjects and asked LT for his thoughts on Romo who was just on the show recently. LT said that he didn't want to go off on just one person. He said that in the end, it's just a game, and they're not looking to hurt people on purpose. Artie thinks that LT felt bad about breaking Joe Theisman's leg because he was the first one to call for an ambulance. Howard asked LT about his sobriety and LT told the guys that being sober is his greatest accomplishment. He said the key to getting sober was changing the environment that you're in.
Howard asked LT about how he's been unable to get any big endorsement deals like some of the other NFL guys. LT said that things just didn't work out for him but he's not all that upset. Howard told LT he's pissed about the way his current employer is treating him and if he were LT, he'd be pissed about the way he's been treated.
Howard asked LT about his daughter getting beaten up or something but he had his story wrong. LT had to tell Howard about what actually happened and she was just at a party where some people got tazered. She wasn't beaten up by anyone. Howard asked LT how his buddy OJ Simpson is doing these days. LT spent a few seconds talking about him. Howard also read that LT is getting divorced so they spent some time on that subject. LT said that she was always the jealous type and things weren't working out. Howard read from his notes that LT had claimed to have been with 19,000 women in his life. LT said that had to have been a joke and he never got that many women.
Howard gave LT a plug for this game ''Blitz: The League
Howard took some phone calls after that and let some guys kiss LTs ass. Ralph was one of the callers who asked him about the earring that he used to wear and if he wore it because he was high. LT said that it was actually a gift from his mama. Another caller said that he's seen LT in action with the women and once saw him nailing a woman on a pool table in his office at the restaurant he owned. LT said that was back in his wild days and he doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore.
Howard had a phony phone call that they made using audio clips from LT's 60 Minutes interview where he broke down crying. He first played that interview where LT cried and then played the prank call they made. In the prank call they call up a pet cemetery and have LT crying as if it was their pet who died. Sal the Stockbroker was also part of the call and put LT and his ''sister'' Zenita on the phone. She cried on Howard's show quite a while ago. LT was laughing so hard that he was crying after hearing the call.
Howard and LT talked about the move over to satellite that Howard's making and LT wondered if the $500 million figure is true. Howard told him that's not true and he can't be making that much. After that Howard took a call from a guy who said that WBCN up in Boston was going to be taking his show off the air up there as of Friday. Howard wasn't sure if that was true or not but he'd check into it later on. He wrapped up with LT after the call and then went to commercial break.
When Yucko came in Howard quickly mentioned that Yucko's show ''Stankervision'' was canceled by MTV2. Yucko was saying that there are certain people who get shows on those networks who don't deserve them. Yucko said that guy Andy Milinokis is a 29 year old who acts like a 14 year old and he just sucks. Yucko thought that Stankervision got pretty good ratings and deserved to be picked up but MTV2 didn't see it that way. Now Yucko is back to doing comedy shows. He'll be appearing at Carolines on Broadway this weekend.
Howard played a phone call that Daniel Carver, Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard had where they talked about the death of Rosa Parks. Howard was showing how racist Gary comes off when he's talking to Daniel Carver because he uses the N-word no problem. Howard said he's got to give the three of them their own show on Howard 100. Wendy the Retard doesn't get sucked into that racist stuff as easy as Gary the Retard does. Yucko took that a step further and called Gary the Retard as a black man and had him cursing him out about the whole N-word thing. Gary hung up on him once so Yucko called him back as Daniel Carver and tortured him a little more. Gary hates Yucko and told him to get off his god damn phone and leave him alone. Howard played another prank call that Yucko made where he did an impression of High Pitch Eric and pretended to get a little gay with him. Gary told him he wasn't going to have sex with him and called him a ''god damm faggot'' before he hung up on him. Yucko called him back and asked if he could smell his balls and then broke in with his clown horn. Gary ended up calling him an Nig*** clown and hung up on him again.
Captain Janks called in and said that he loved the song that Yucko performed when he was trying out for Stuttering John's job. Janks also said some nice things about Yucko's ''Stankervision'' show and how great he thought it was. Howard went on to play the song that Janks mentioned. In the song Yucko sang about each of the guys on the show and goofed on each of them. Howard said he had forgotten about the song and how brutal it was. Howard said he finds Yucko funny but it's very racially offensive stuff. He asked him if he's racist and Yucko said he hates everyone. Yucko said that he was just trying to get the job back then so he was doing whatever he could. After hearing the song Howard said he might have to rethink the World's Meanest Listener contest because Yucko lost out to Rev. Bob Levy in that contest. Howard thinks that Yucko might actually be the meanest.
Howard gave Yucko a plug for his upcoming gigs that he has at Carolines and a couple of other places. Yucko then said goodbye to Tom Chiusano since he wasn't going to be seeing him anymore. He went off on Tom and called him a bunch of names. He said he can't wait until Howard moves to the new place where he'll be able to say anything he wants. Howard told Yucko that Tom isn't the enemy, he's just the guy who has to hit the button. Tom came in and said he couldn't have been nicer to Yucko this morning and couldn't believe he was going off on him. Howard was going to let Yucko go but they ended up talking about Stankervision a little more. Howard told Yucko that he was the strongest thing on the show and he should be out doing his own thing instead of doing the show the way they did. Artie told Yucko that he really didn't like the guy on that show who looked just like him but without the makeup on. Howard wrapped up and went to commercial break after that. Check YuckoTheClown.com for more comedy show information.
Howard said he was feeling peppy today after getting some sleep last night. He said he's back on the Ambien sleeping pills because he wasn't able to get to sleep last night. He still woke up at 4 in the morning even after taking them at 1 in the morning. He's not even sure why he shows up to work anymore because he's getting threatening legal letters from his current employer. He said he's not sure exactly what they're about but it has something to do with a cease and desist about making fun of Joel Hollander. He said that he doesn't know if he signed anything about that but it's ridiculous that they can bad mouth him in advertising campaigns and he can't talk about him? Howard said he was walking past the conference room yesterday and saw someone he thought was Joel but he wasn't sure. He asked around and wondered if the guy was Joel's brother Les. He said that they all seem to be looking at him as if he's the enemy but he's really not. Howard said he's stayed there and honored his contract and that's the way he gets treated. He should just call in sick and screw them over.
Howard said that they're also demanding that he stop talking about satellite radio but he's just talking about his life every day. He'd like to see them try and sue him over something like that because he's doing nothing wrong. Howard said that Infinity is making record profits right now and probably record ratings in these final weeks so they have no case about him doing any damage to them. He said that it's very hard to do the show now that he's had so many delay hits during his show lately. He had a list of what happened in yesterday's show and thought he had a print out of what was hit. Gary came in and said it was 23 times which was down 3 from two days ago.
Howard talked about how the company begged him to stay with them but he was going to get out of there no matter what. He was either going to retire from there or move to satellite. He chose the satellite route. Now they're going around bad mouthing him and letting him stay there to make them more money. He said they should just let him go already. Howard also pointed out that he's still number one in a lot of his markets but apparently not enough for the people at Infinity.
Gary told Howard that they bleeped the line ''He goes to the bathroom while he eats'' at 6:29am yesterday. That's the kind of stuff they're censoring out of his show these days and Howard can't do a show like that. While Howard was making his points he as doing an impression of Elegant Elliot Offen's ''Right?'' comments that he was making the other day when he was on. He said Fred had to stop playing the clip because he'd keep doing it through the whole discussion. Howard went on to say that satellite is no threat to terrestrial radio at this point so the company coming after him about that is nonsense. He told Joel Hollander to calm down and stop worrying about it so much. Joel is acting like his show is too important when it's really not. He said he'll be lucky if he gets 5 million people to subscribe to satellite when he's over there.
Howard said that there's a request in the legal letters where they're asking what kind of money they're going to get when they use the old E! shows in the future. Howard said all of that stuff is in their contract so there's no reason for the letter. It's all in the contracts. He said that Viacom (and Infinity) is going to be fine after he leaves and Hollander should be more worried about the shows that are going to replace his. The company has made a ton of money while he's been there and they should stop worrying about all of this.
Gary came in and gave Howard a clip of a web cast that the company did yesterday where they said they hope that Howard's fans will move to listen to Don Imus or Mike and the Mad Dog in the New York area. They weren't even saying that they hope that they listen to David Lee Roth. Howard thinks it's funny that these guys are pretty funny and have weird senses of business with the radio industry. He said that Les Moonves is looking at the industry the same as he does with TV and it doesn't work like that. He said you can't just replace a hit radio show with another one like they'd do with a sitcom.
Gary was telling Howard about how he's been in the sales meetings for the company lately and gets to see how people spend money on commercials. He said that they convince people to spend money all over the station when they advertise on Howard's show and that's all going to go away once he leaves. Howard went on to say that he doesn't want Joel sending him legal letters about this stuff. He's doing nothing wrong and talking about Joel isn't what he wanted to do but Joel was the one who opened up the Pandora's box after taking out the ad where they bad mouthed his show after all of the years of service he's put in with the company.
Howard talked about how he's had fans who have followed his show for 20 years and he could really go off on the morning shows they're going to be replacing him with. Those fans aren't just going to switch to other radio shows like the company is hoping they will. He said he's trying to be an honorable guy but the company isn't returning the favor. He brought up the E! show contract again and pointed out that they're going to honor the contract they had about that. They should have their lawyer read that over and figure it out himself instead of asking him what's in it. He kept pointing out that even if he managed to get 10 million people to listen to satellite, that's just a drop in the bucket. People aren't going to stop listening to terrestrial radio just because they have satellite (I have) so they really shouldn't be so worried about him talking about it on his show. He warned Infinity that them jerking him off like this is not going to make his audience happy and it's no way to keep them listening to the show.
Howard has 27 more live shows to do over the next month and a half and they should leave him alone. They're already screwing up his show by starting it late and running ads over his voice. He said they have the wrong enemy there and he's done his best over the past 10 years to work around the censorship of his show and now he's done. He said he has to talk about stuff like the full page ad that the company put out in Adage magazine this month. He's not going to ignore stuff like that. He believes that he's been respectful of Joel's rules and now it seems like they're going to be trying to screw him over at the last minute by coming up with this nonsense threatening him with legal action.
A listener asked Howard what he would have done if he didn't sign on with satellite. Howard told the guy he was going to retire and he could ask his agent if that's true or not. He told him that he was out of there no matter what. Howard has an army of people over at the new lace ready to start a bunch of great shows and he's not going to beg people to follow him there. He said it'll be just for his real fans who want to pay to hear the show. He said he would love for all of his fans to follow him there but he knows that won't happen. He said he feels like all of these people are family and he's going to miss the people who don't follow him. He's had some people listening to him for 20 years so they really are like family. The studio he works in is like home to him because he spends so much time there. It's tough for him to walk away from it and leave behind that feeling of turning on a switch and having millions of fans listening to him. He can't work there anymore though because he doesn't want to clean up his act. He wants to have the freedom that he'll have at the new place. That freedom was taken away from him over 10 years ago when the FCC cracked down on the show. He's not into doing a show like Rush Limbaugh does.
Yesterday Jon Stewart got bleeped 14 times during his interview for just talking about his penis in a clean way. Howard said Jon was being very funny but no one heard it because they dumped out of it 14 times. He wanted to go into really deep, dark places with Jon but he couldn't do it because of the FCC. He used to bring people to the ''Homo Room'' years ago but he's not allowed to do that kind of stuff anymore. He went on to say that he'd rather do a Podcast even though Podcasts are so lame. at least he'd have the freedom to do what he wants if he was doing a Podcast though. He said that going to satellite is almost like doing a Podcast anyway. He told the caller he had on the line that they will be able to hear stuff on his show that he used to do more than 10 years ago. The caller told Howard that it's almost like the days when he was on WNBC.
Howard said he's going to work 10 times harder to get people to listen to this new medium because it's still in it's infancy and there are hardly any listeners at this point. Sirius has just over 2 million subscribers right now so it's not very many. He thinks that some people will follow him right away and some won't come over for quite a while. Maybe some of them will buy a new car with satellite radio installed and they'll get back to the show that way. He ended up giving the caller a $500 prize after going on about this stuff for 40 minutes.
Fred and Artie handed over the money they owed to Howard over the High Pitch Eric betting. Robin paid off her bets yesterday. Fred said that his $500 loss cost his daughter her birthday gift. Howard was ready to hand him back his money but Fred told him to keep it.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the Joel Hollander thing and got Howard talking about that again. Howard said that he expected Joel to come in sand thank him for all of the years of service he's put in instead of getting legal letters. He's not going to sit there and take it if they're going to bad mouth him in their advertising. Howard also said that he could be taking sick days and leaving the company hanging for the final weeks of his show but he's not that kind of person. The caller told Howard that when Elliot Offen was on the other day, they let the F-bomb slip and the A-hole thing slip as well. Howard wasn't sure about that but he said he did list the things that they dumped out of yesterday on his web site.
Gary said that Beth felt kind of threatened when he started talking about beating his wife. She wanted to walk out of the studio because of that. Howard felt like King wasn't able to finish his thoughts on those shows. He said he did like the sidekick King had with him last night but Gary thought he didn't even need her. Beth told Howard that King was kind of ignoring her and reading the newspaper to himself. Gary also said that he could tell that Beth was mortified when King started throwing around the N-word. Howard said that King really wasn't even interested in his own topics during the show.
Benjy said that King never sounds clear on the microphone and he seems to be all over the place. The only time you understand him is when he's angry. There was also a mention by Beth that she and Howard were married but there was no follow up. Howard gave King a 2.5 rating which was up from a 2 on Tuesday's show. King's first show got a zero from Howard. Gary said that Jason told him that he'd want to talk to King about what kind of cell phone to get which would be pretty interesting to do.
King of All Blacks called in and thanked Howard for giving him the chance to do what he's doing but Howard was ready to cancel the show. He didn't want to give him a fourth show. King said that he's really just a garbage man but he doesn't want to give up. Howard said that maybe they should send King to a studio and let him practice off the air for a while. King said there was a guy there at Howard 100 who told him the same thing because he likes him. King told Howard he loves when he criticizes him. Howard asked King what kind of cell phone to get. King started to talk about a Samsung phone that he thought was great but didn't know the model number. He said that the phone is great and it even works in the subway.
Gary asked King to talk about how he gets a new car every year. King started to talk about that and that's what they want him to do on his radio show. King said he's fine with not getting another radio show. Angry Black called in a short time later and made the offer to take King up to the studios at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting to let him practice his show if he wants. King turned down the offer and asked Angry if he was crazy. He said that he doesn't want to be as good as Angry Black is. Howard told him he was missing the point because it's not that they give you talent up there, they just give you a place to practice if you do have talent. King and Angry were starting to go off on each other as they have done in every time they get on the air together. Howard told King to calm down and they'll talk some other time. Angry told King not to hate on him but King continued to goof on him and called him ''ugly.'' Howard let the two of them go off on each other a little bit.
Angry was saying that he'd be able to get hot chicks before King could even get one. King was goofing on Angry about the clothes he wears which is the kind of stuff he should have been doing on his Howard 100 show. Angry didn't know what his wardrobe has to do with King doing a bad radio show. Howard let the two of them go off on each other for a couple of minutes without interruption but then cut them off and said he had listened to it long enough. Artie said he hadn't heard enough but Howard had to cut them off. Howard canceled King's show for the next two nights so Angry started to laugh. King continued to goof on Angry's clothing so Angry hung up on them. Howard told King that he'll have other stuff for him to do at Howard 100 but he won't have his own show right now.
King was getting choked up a bit and started to break down as Howard was wrapping up with him. King was crying and told Howard he appreciates the chance he was given. Howard told him to calm down and not worry about it. Fred played some sad piano music so King told him to stop playing it because he's no punk. King asked if Howard is going to give him a paid gig because he's going to be retiring from the street sweeping thing. Sal the Stockbroker came in and told King that they had a job for him... King goofed on him and said he needs to get his wife in line. Sal then told him that they have a job for him as the fifth girl on The View and called him the King of All Pussies. Howard let King go a minute later and went to commercial break.
Howard had to break down the episode that he was creating as a 13 year old. He and Robin were fighting ''Music Man'' which was the evil villain. Howard would talk about each scene and then he'd make up the sounds of the car speeding off and stuff like that. Howard is pretty sure he was 12 or 13 at the time he made the tapes. He said he was getting douche chills hearing this stuff. He told Robin that he also found a tape of his friends doing some stuff that was pretty weird. He said that it was actually his assistant Laura who found the tapes. He was trying to find some stuff for his In Demand show and found these old audio tapes. He got back to his Batman bit and you hear Batman talking about Music Man being at a Sam Ash Music Shop. Batman and Robin have to fight Music Man and Slargo when they go to the Sam Ash music shop. Howard said he's going to have this tape animated for his In Demand channel. He continued to play the audio and you hear Batman and Robin getting into a fight where Howard makes all of the sound effects. Then the tape gets cut off and goes into a news report that must have aired on TV around that time.
Benjy told Howard that he thought there were actually two people on the tape and didn't know that Howard was doing both voices. He also asked about Music Man and what he did as a crime. Music Man would steal instruments from Sam Ash from what Howard could tell. He went on to play some other audio clips from his Bar Mitzvah. He was singing the songs he had to study for years to learn. Artie said that kind of stuff is the reason you see so many Jewish comedians. He asked how anyone could do all of that stuff and not make fun of it. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard had some audio clips to play before they brought in the great Rev. Bob Levy. He was going to play some clips from a bad TV show where they have celebrities singing karaoke songs. In one clip they had Morgan Fairchild singing ''These Boots are Made For Walking'' and it wasn't too bad according to Howard. There was another clip of Antonio Sabato Jr. Singing ''Every Breath You Take'' and the guy sucked but he was told he was great on the show. Bai Ling sang a Madonna song and that was horrible as well. Howard thought she was really hot looking but she did look like she had a penis because of what she was wearing. That led to the guys talking about transsexuals. Robin said that there were a bunch of them walking past their building yesterday but she wasn't sure why. Howard talked about how nuts it is that there are people out there who actually do that kind of stuff. He talked about Toula the transsexual who was on his show one time. He thought she looked like a real chick and he may have let him use his hand on him in the right circumstance.
Howard asked Benjy if he would let a transsexual use his hand on him if he finds a really hot one. Benjy said ''no'' to that so Howard asked Richard Christy if he would do it. Richard came in and said that he might do it if the dude doesn't have anything dangling on him anymore. He said he might need some drinks in him first but he'd probably do it. He also said that he/she has to be super-hot. Howard isn't sure he could get past the fact that it's a dude no matter what's down there. The delay was hit a couple of times during the discussion. Gary came in and asked Howard if he got aroused when he saw Toula. Howard told him he'd missed that part of the discussion and he had gotten aroused. Gary thought she looked enough like a woman that he refers to her as a ''she.''
Howard ended up going off on Steve Dahl because he heard that he's been bad mouthing him even after flying out to New York to ask him about working with him. All of these guys are out there bad mouthing him and he's going to keep track of them so when they come asking for jobs at SIRIUS, he won't give them jobs. Howard went off on Joel Hollander again saying that the guy should be coming down there to confront him about the stuff he's been doing to him lately.
The caller told Howard about the bumper they run over his show and how they don't do it on any other show over there. Howard knows that he's under attack by all of these stations but their attacks are just going to drive his fans to listen to him. He said that he's really no threat against the stations who are bashing him. Howard said that in 27 shows he's going to talk about his future. He claims that Joel Hollander has given him an outline of what he can and can't talk about on the air but then he goes and sends him a legal letter when he does talk about stuff he's been told he can talk about. He went over the same stuff he went over earlier in the show where he talked about how he's no threat to Infinity because the satellite audience is so small right now. The delay was hit at least a couple of times while he was talking about that stuff though.
Howard said his girlfriend told him that maybe he should take a sick day yesterday and he's not sure why he hasn't. There's no reason to care anymore because he's being treated so poorly. He went over the legal letter he got about his old E! shows and how Infinity is asking about what they're going to get paid once the shows are on In Demand. Howard said whatever the contract says is what will happen. He's never broken a contract and he's an honorable guy so he will pay whatever they agreed to. He said that the company has sold the final few days of his show for record amounts of money and they're still treating him like this. He can't believe that Joel is giving him a hard time about bad mouthing him after the company took out a full page ad about how much his show sucks.
Howard told Gary about how he and Joel sat down and talked about what he's going to talk about in the final days he's there. He said that Joel told him he can talk about the new place but not do a direct sales pitch for the service. He said he could be going on the air and bashing the morning shows they're going to have replacing him but he's not going to do that. Tom dumped out of part of that discussion about David Lee Roth's upcoming show. Howard thinks that Joel is sending him these letters now to build up some kind of file on him before he leaves. Howard decided to drop it right then but he gets ''tweaked'' every day that he works there and he has to vent.
A phone caller told Howard that they cut him off when he mentioned David Lee's name a few minutes earlier. Howard couldn't believe that. Gary didn't believe that either but Jason came in and told him that they're getting a lot of reports about the same thing. Robin said that they're now censoring Howard's personal thoughts out of the show instead of just censoring the possible ''indecent'' stuff. Gary came in and told Howard that they did bleep him for talking about David Lee Roth and he was told that Howard got a letter about that and he should know why they hit it. Gary told Howard that they have a new guy there who told him that back in the room. Dead Air Dave was back there and this new guy was there telling Dave to hit the button on that. Howard asked to end all of this crap today because he doesn't understand what's going on. Gary wasn't even sure what the guy was doing back there.
Howard said that he's not even sure what he's doing wrong. He doesn't know how this guy in the back knows about the letter he got. He told Gary about the letter he got and how they don't want him talking about Joel, doing a commercial pitch for the new job. He said there was also a point about the E! shows and that's what was in the letter. There was nothing about the edit that the guy in the back just did. Gary ran back to find out what was up with that.
Rev. Bob Levy had quietly entered the studio during this rant so he was sitting in and seeing all of this. He threw in a couple of comments like saying that this is like a bad divorce between Howard and Infinity. Howard said they're not even giving him a chance to talk. Bob said it's like Howard has a new girlfriend and the old wife is getting pissed during the divorce. Howard said they're really overreacting to all of this stuff. Bob said he feels good coming in there and seeing this stuff. Gary came back in and told Howard they may not be able to get an answer from the guy in the back room. He said he's not being confrontational but he won't give him an answer. Gary said the guy said they have to deal with the people from corporate, not with him. Howard said he's going to have to write a book about this which will be about classic blunders in radio.
Howard said that it's not like he's going to a competing radio station, he's going to a completely different medium and they're really overreacting there at Infinity. Howard wanted to get off the subject so Gary suggested they talk about something at his dentists office. Howard wanted to wait until after the break but Gary mentioned that he bit his dental assistant yesterday and she was very shaken. Levy said that she must have lost her arm if he bit her. Howard cut Gary off and told him to save it. He then said that he's going to drop this subject for the next 27 shows and leave his employer alone. He said he's been holding off on playing a bit that someone created about Joel because he's trying to be a good guy about all of this stuff. He said he's going to resume being a gentleman about this and just show up for work for the next 27 days.
A listener called in and said that they seem to be trying to get Howard to breach his contract in any way they can. Howard said that he's doing his show the way he's supposed to and trying to do something like that to him is just their way of getting him to breach the contract. They're going to start the paper trail and eventually claim damages. Howard said the guy is probably right and that's what will probably happen. Howard said these huge corporations are out to sue their talent all the time instead of suing the FCC for fining them over stuff that they shouldn't be find over and it's just wrong. Howard gave Bob Levy some plugs for his comedy shows down in Texas this weekend and then went to break.
Howard moved on to talk to Bob Levy about his life for a few minutes and asked him how he's still living in his house with his ex-wife. Bob said he has it in his divorce papers that he can stay there until next Christmas. He said he wants to use his pool again next summer so he'll be sticking around. Howard had a bit that Sal and Richard had created about Gary biting his dental assistant so he quickly played that. There were sound effects of flies flying around Gary's mouth in the clip so Gary explained that they must be goofing on his bad breath when they play that.
Howard said that they're still in the middle of shooting the 60 Minutes interview stuff with him so they're not done with that yet. They had cameras set up in the studio and keep shooting more stuff. Gary said that he did an interview with them and he got really dry so he was licking his lips like crazy. Robin has also sat down for an interview with them and they did 20 minutes with her. Artie is thinking that they're only interviewing them because Howard did something right, not because he's done something wrong.
Levy told Howard that he did a test show for Howard 100 so they should be playing that on the Howard 100 News sometime soon. Howard said that Zolar wants to do a show of his own and played a voice mail that Zolar left begging for a show of his own. Howard said that Zolar is on Howard 100 News almost every day so he doesn't know why he's complaining. Gary said that having a show of their own is like a Wack Packer's wet dream, that's why they want the shows. Howard played another voice mail of Billy Mira going nuts asking for his own show as well. Then there was Clif Pallete asking for his own show. That led to Howard playing one of Clif's karaoke songs.
Howard said he was all stinky again this morning because he's been using this organic deodorant after reading Kevin Treudeau's book about how the aluminum in deodorants can cause major problems. He's trying to get away from that stuff but he's really stinky now.
Gary told Howard to play the final clip of someone asking for their own Howard 100 show. It was old lady porn Blue Iris. She gave her pitch and asked for an afternoon drive time radio show. Howard said the only show he's interested in is the Clif Pallete show. He played more of him singing and said he loves that guy. Robin said he's not actually hanging out with him though. Howard said he doesn't love him that much, he loves him about as much as he loves Bob. He had Robin start her news a short time later.
During the news a guy called in with a conspiracy theory about 9/11 and how the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center were just drone planes with no passengers. The guy also said that the buildings crashing down was all planned. Howard told the guy that watching movies on the internet isn't a good idea. Levy told the guy to pass the weed his way as he was describing what he heard.
Howard got a call from a guy who suggested that he try Old Spice High Endurance deodorant because it doesn't contain any aluminum. Howard said he may have to try that because he really is stinky. He said the 60 Minutes crew probably thinks he stinks too because he switched to the organic stuff right around the time they started shooting his interviews.
Howard started off the show apologizing to the audience for yesterday's tirade about the company he works for. He said he got a lot of mail about it and people really don't care about it anymore. Howard said he's just not the type of person who can get mad about something and just put it behind him. He said he got more legal letters yesterday but he doesn't care today. He also heard that the djs out on their L.A. Station have been bad mouthing him and he's going to try not to say anything about that either. He's going to try his best not to get caught up in it today. He's looking forward to moving to the new place and doing Letterman's show later this month (November 17th) where he'll be able to talk to everyone about what's going on.
Robin said that she saw Howard doing his interview with Ed Bradley from 60 Minutes yesterday and he was doing very well. Howard went on to explain how he didn't like the first interview he did with Bradley so he went home and thought about what he actually wanted to say during the interview. He realized that it wasn't Ed Bradley's fault and put the blame on himself. He went through the next interview and thought he did pretty good getting everything off his chest. Robin thinks that the producer of the segment, Ruth, is really into Howard now. Robin said that she thinks Ruth laughed at something Howard said and Ed Bradley ended up getting a little upset with her. Howard is hoping that the report they do is a nice one after going through all of this stuff. Robin thinks that Ruth is usually quiet during interviews like that and when she erupted with laughter, Ed didn't think it was appropriate and gave her a hand signal to quiet down.
Howard read some more mail about the stuff he's been talking about lately with his current employer. He said he's really fired up about this new venture and he can't sleep anymore. He was up at 2 in the morning again last night and has been trying to make sure that people aren't let down when they follow him over there. Howard said his hair dresser, Toni Coburn, tuned out at the end of his rant because she got fed up with it. Other e-mailers think that Howard is taking shots at Adam Carolla and David Lee Roth even though he's claiming that he doesn't have anything against them. One writer said he's been listening to the show for 20 years and he wants him to stop with the rants already. There were others who want him to shut up about it and get back to the regular show. The people were pretty rough on him in the e-mail but there were others who thought that it was interesting, but still painful to listen to.
Howard read one e-mail about the way KLSX is treating him now that he's leaving. There was also an e-mail from the management over at KLSX who say that they're not doing what people claim they're doing to him. Fred said that's not what he hears from the fans who write in. Gary came in and said that Bob Mohr from KLSX called him yesterday and said they weren't doing the stuff on purpose. He was told that they were going to put a stop to the other djs bad mouthing him but it didn't work because they went off on Howard even worse yesterday.
Howard mentioned that David Spade was going to be coming in later in the morning. He said Dave is really funny and left him some voice mail that was pretty funny yesterday. That led to the guys talking about the commercials that Spade does for Captial One, a credit card company. They tried to figure out how much money he could be making for that. Artie figured it's probably a couple million bucks. While they were talking about that Fred was talking but he was too far from the microphone for anyone to hear him so they goofed on him about that for a minute.
A phone caller told Howard that they had already hit the delay on his show this morning. Howard had no idea what they talked about that would be censored. Gary said it was when they were talking to Artie about his whore and how she applied his condom. The caller went on to get Howard all riled up again by saying that they need to get back to doing the regular show. Howard asked him not to get him all riled up again because he had just talked about how he was going to forget about it and move on. He did talk about how he just wants to move forward and get to the new place so he can do the show he really wants to do. He gave the caller a $500 prize for calling in and let him go.
The phone caller brought up one of the stories that Robin read in the news yesterday about a couple of Muslim guys who were arrested after praying in a stadium before a football game. They claimed that they were being profiled. Howard said that they really have no reason to be doing that stuff out in a stadium filled with people, especially after 9/11. Tom Chiusano came in and filled them in on some other details about the story and told Howard why he wasn't there yesterday. Tom said a good friend of his, Harvey Pearlman, had passed away so he went to his funeral. He spoke to Howard about that for a minute before they went to commercial break.
Frequent caller Bobo called in and asked Howard what talk shows he's going to avoid doing on this publicity tour that's coming up. Howard told Bobo about the 60 Minutes stuff he's been doing and how he did 2 hours with them yesterday, then ran home and had a 2 hour meeting with a bunch of people from the new place about what he wants to do over there. After the meeting he went to watch TV but his projector TV bulb blew out and he wasn't able to watch Smallville. He decided to do some stuff with Beth but she couldn't do it because she was having her female thing. She did give him some other favors. He wanted to talk about it but he can't do it where he's at now. He ended up blowing a load on her face but he wasn't able to say it in those words. He said that she threw the tissues at him so he could clean her up.
Howard read an article about this guy who is dating Paris Hilton who apparently paid a homeless guy to dump a soda on himself to amuse his friends. Howard wasn't sure if it was true or not because that newspaper has reported stuff about him that's been wrong.
Bobo asked Howard if he showed the 60 Minutes crew where he buried his underwear when he went back to visit his childhood home. Howard said he didn't think about that when they were there because he was thinking about the two pets he had buried back there. He had a pet frog and a chicken that didn't last long that he had buried back there. He couldn't think of anything but that while he was there. Howard hung up on Bobo after he interrupted one too many times while they were talking.
Howard got a note about Benjy's food intake and how fat he seems to be these days. He goofed on Benjy about that and wondered how someone like Tom can get cancer while he's in shape but fat Benjy is healthy. Tom was in the studio so he told Howard about how he was over exposed to the sun as a child and he's pretty sure that's why he had the skin cancer he had. Howard asked Tom what he thinks about his Best of thoughts. Tom said that their programmers want Best of to run so he'll go back and listen to the bit that he said no to. It was a bit with Rita G the chick with really nice boobs.
Howard quickly talked about how Apple is making video available on iPods now and that's the kind of audience he's after. He said the In Demand is one thing and he'd love to make that stuff available for people with iPods.
There was an article in the paper about a woman who had super glued this guy's penis to his stomach and glued his butt closed. She only got a six month sentence for that. He told Gary to get the guy on the phone so they can talk to him about how he gets that stuff unglued. Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about the story and how you get rid of crazy glue on your ass. Gary told Howard that he had the guy's phone number and he was going to ask him to come on the show. He got his answering machine so Howard listened in as Gary was leaving the message. Robin had another story about some guy who is suing Home Depot because he got crazy glued to a toilet seat in one of their stores. Howard talked about how his penis isn't big enough to be glued to his stomach. He said it would only reach up to his ''gunt.'' He had to go to break after that.
Howard told JD he wanted to put him on the air over at Howard 100 but Gary let him know they can't do that. He offered to fire JD today so they can let him go over to the new place and work there instead. JD said he might do that if he can get paid more there. The guys talked to JD about this Super Twink movie that he's supposed to be creating for Howard's In Demand channel. JD said that he thinks that it's going to ruin his career if he does it though. Who knew he had a career? Richard filled Howard in on some of the ideas they have for the movie. Howard asked him to put in a scene where he gets his ass crazy glued shut. He had him acting out the scene by repeating after him but JD wasn't very convincing. He was laughing through the whole thing. Richard came up with some lines for him to say as well. Howard suggested that they get David Spade to play a part since he'll do just about any movie.
Howard said they could work out the script on the radio show and then make it into a movie for In Demand. Howard suggested that they get George Takei to play an evil villain. He could even play his old character of Sulu who has just gone nuts. He would play the part of Admiral Balloon Knot. Fred played clips of Takei saying the term Balloon Knot each time Howard would mention it.
Howard told JD that the first week they can do it, he's going to put him on the air over at Howard 100 and let him pick up chicks on his own hour long show. He picked up his megaphone and did an impression of a woman and tried to get JD to talk about himself. Howard told him that they can have the porn chick fly up for that first show so maybe JD can get laid then. Gay Ramone called in and asked if he's going to have a part in this Super Twink movie that they're talking about. Richard told him they've already written him into it.
Gary brought in a game for the caller to play. He had a Beetlejuice High Low game to play. They ask Beetlejuice a question where he gives a number answer and then ask him the exact same question to see if he gives a higher or lower number. The caller had to guess if Beet would go higher or lower. Here are the questions and Beet's answers:
Another caller told Howard that he knows Joel Hollander personally and he knows he's upset with Howard because he didn't tell him personally that he was leaving for satellite. Howard said there are rules about doing stuff like that so he wasn't allowed to talk to Joel about that.
Howard talked about a day when Sam came in with a bag of coke and told everyone to take a hit. Howard had to ask Sam to put it away because they could get in trouble for it. Tom also brought up the time that Sam had Robin cornered in an office while he was drinking champagne. He said Robin looked like a deer caught in a car's headlights.
Howard played another old Sam Kinison segment where Kinison and Ronnie the Limo Driver got into an argument. Ronnie went off on Kinison about the way he was treating Howard. Howard had another segment that he didn't remember where Kinison came into the studio when Carol Alt was being interviewed. Kinison was very drunk and was slurring his words and yelling out racial slurs. Then there was a clip where Kinison made Jessica Hahn cry on the air when he went off on her about some stuff she did on the show. Howard wanted to play the bit that led up to that call which was an old Mr. Ed bit that Jessica participated in. He wasn't sure they cold play the whole thing though because of the content. Jessica's mother had passed away right around that time and she asked them to hold back on playing it for a while. Howard went to play it but it was the wrong bit. It was actually Jessica getting upset after Howard stuck his finger in her belly button and telling her that it stunk. She started to cry after that. Howard said he felt really bad that day and couldn't believe he made her cry. He eventually got to the tape where Kinison made Jessica cry when he brought up the death of her mother. Those two used to go at it like that all the time on the show.
Howard said that Sam Kinison was one of the biggest losses to his show and to the country. Robin said that they have a statue of Sam in his old home town so Howard said he'd like to bring that to his new studio. Artie brought up the movie that Kinison and Golthwait were talking about because he heard that it was a cursed movie. Howard said that those bits he just played are now retired and will probably never be played anywhere else ever again since Infinity won't let him take them with him... unless he hands over $40 million. As they went to break Howard had Fred play the ''Sounds of Kinison'' song that Fred created after Sam died. That will also be retired and never heard again. Howard broke in after the song and said that he's bringing that tape with him even if Infinity sues him. He said he doesn't want people to forget who Sam Kinison was and will play some of his old stuff on Howard 100 when he starts over there. He said Sam's voice may be the first voice we hear when he starts his show over there on January 9, 2006.
Howard said that David left him a message the other night where he said that he was Dave the Retard and High Pitch Dave to get Howard to call him back. Dave went on to tell Howard and the guys a story about hanging out with Kinison back in the days when he was heavy into coke. He offered some to Dave and when Dave turned it down, Sam told him he could stay the whole night since he wasn't going to be dipping into the stash. Howard told another story about Sam taking he and Robin out for a drive in his Trans Am and not watching the road as he was driving.
Dave told Howard about hanging out with Chris Farley who would take strangers up on their party invitations and actually go to them when they asked. Dave said he'd never go but Farley would go to any party. He talked about how Farley would get drunk and ask people for coke from people he didn't even know. Howard asked him if he's ever freaked out by that kind of stuff. He said that Sam would take pills and stuff while they were driving home and that kind of stuff really freaked him out. He said it's really fatiguing and draining to hang out with people like that.
Spade asked Howard about the old tapes that he had been playing and wondered if Infinity could ever put that stuff on CD. Howard said he wanted to play that old stuff on one of his SIRIUS channels but Infinity didn't want to participate in that so the tapes won't be played anywhere.
Howard asked Dave if he ever brought up his name to James Garner when he was working with him on ''8 Simple Rules.'' Dave said he never did but the girls on the show brought it up. That led to Howard asking to play Gary Garver's interview with Garner that he just got recently. While he was waiting for that he played some of the Blue Iris old lady porn clips since Spade brought them up as well. Spade sounded kind of creeped out by those clips. Howard thought he had the Garner interview but he started to play his old childhood tapes where he was creating a Batman episode. He played more of the clip while Spade goofed on him. Spade then told some stories about his own geeky childhood and how he was a really good speller back then. Howard asked him to spell the word 'terrestrial'' and he was able to do that after thinking about it for a few seconds.
Howard eventually got the Gary Garver interview with James Garner where Garner ends up hitting him in the balls with his cane. Dave sounded like he wasn't into hearing the tape at first because he likes Garner. Howard gave Dave a plug for his Comedy Central show ''The Showbiz Show'' which airs Thursday nights at 11:30pm on Comedy Central. He said he likes the show and watches it himself. He went to break a short time later.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone to play his weekly gossip game. They had a new song parody where they had Mike singing about getting a reach around that they played for a minute or two. While the song was playing David asked if John Stamos was playing drums on that song as a bit of a dig to him. Howard wanted him to talk about why he dislikes John but Dave wouldn't say that he does have a problem with the guy. That led to the guys talking to Dave about settling down with a woman and if he's going do that. Dave was being very weird about the line of questioning and changed subjects by bringing up the show ''Can We Sing.'' The guys spent a short time talking about Bai Ling and some of the other celebrities who appeared on the show and sucked at singing karaoke style.
Howard got back to Dave's plans for getting married and having kids. Dave says he has a plan but Howard said he smells a disaster. Mike Walker said he knows that Dave gets around a lot but he's not sure who he's with right now. Howard went on to ask Mike about how his radio show went last weekend since he was going to make a bit deal out of the story about who owns the restaurant Vitello's. Mike said that he had to conceded and say that Robert Blake does not own the restaurant like he thought he did. Fred interrupted with some Mike Walker bits they've created. Mike said he can just picture his daughter driving around listening to all of this stuff. Spade was laughing pretty hard in the background as the bits were playing. Mike wanted to know where they got all of those sound effects from because they couldn't have been from him waiting on hold on the ISDN line. Howard swore that they did get them all from there though. Richard Christy came in and confirmed it as well.
Howard asked Mike how much money he thinks David Spade could be making from those credit card commercials he does. Mike said it must be more than a million. Howard and the guys figured it was over $2 million so Spade said he shouldn't talk about it but it is up in that area. Mike brought up the show ''Just Shoot Me'' that David starred in. He thought it was a great show and wanted to know why they canceled it. Dave said that NBC wanted to push their own shows and not make money for Universal who was producing the show at the time, so they canceled it. He knew that he was going to bore Howard with that story and he was right.
Howard moved on to the gossip game so here's how it goes... Each week, month after month, year after year since 1996, Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard said he told Ralph to create a show for Howard 100 but had to fire him when he didn't come through. He said that Ralph just can't get stuff done in a timely manner so he's done with him. He said he gave him a week and a half to put the show together and it just didn't happen. He had the whole idea down and told Ralph to make it happen without bothering him. Ralph called back and wanted to ask questions but Howard wanted nothing to do with it. Howard then heard from Tim Sabean and Gary that Ralph was calling them and asking tons of questions. He was also calling Sal and asking him 500 questions. Howard had Ralph in his apartment yesterday so he said he was looking forward to hearing the show tonight. That's when he found out he wasn't ready to go. He said he always believes in the guy but that stuff never comes through.
Sal said that he was talking to his wife about it and she thinks that Ralph sits around his apartment all day and then calls a store and asks them to bring up some clothes for Howard. Howard said that Ralph actually does a good job with his clothing and he can't complain about that. Gary said that Ralph talked to many people about the show that he wanted to do, but he didn't really know what to do with the show. He changed his ideas and said that if he had a name for the show, he'd know more about what he wanted to do. Gary told him to just produce the show that Howard wanted him to do. That show was ''Superfan Round Table'' and Howard had given him all of the ideas he needed.
Artie said he thought that Ralph had some good ideas for the show and actually talked to him on the phone about them. He spent more time than he thought he would but he thought he had things worked out. Sal said that Ralph didn't want to do the Superfan thing so he was helping him come up with other names like ''Brutally Honest with Ralph'' or ''The Show You Hate to Hear with Ralph'' but Ralph just wanted to call it ''Fridays with Ralph.'' Howard cut everyone off and had Robin get back to her news.
