Margie kept up her side of the story telling Howard the same things she did yesterday. She says she was upset with Sly and that's why she told her story. For some reason Frank kept saying that Margie's story was false but he was also calling her a ''rat'' for going to the paper with the story. Robin pointed out that if you're calling someone a rat, the story must have some truth to it. Howard refused to say if he thinks the story is true or false. He just wanted to say that going to the paper, whether it's true or not, is wrong.
We soon found out that Frank actually dated Margie once. He said he never slept with her because he thought she was a little wacky. He said that she got a little aggressive with him and he decided to send her on her way before anything happened.
Frank had a so-called ''witness'' on the phone with him. Julie, a stripper, said that she has known Margie for a couple of years and she's never mentioned Sly. Margie said that's not true. Margie also said she was a stripper for a little while.
Frank continued to argue with Margie over all of this. He told Howard he spoke to her ex-boyfriend who owns the gym they allegedly had sex in and he thinks that she's a little crazy. He has banned her from going to the gym but she says she wouldn't want to go there anyway.
Stuttering John came in at one point and said that his brother knows nothing of the women he's slept with so how would Frank know about his brother. Frank said he just knows about them because they're very close. John seemed to think that Frank wouldn't know if this was true or not no matter what.
This argument continued for a good half hour or so and nothing was resolved. Howard continued to tell Margie that telling her story was just plain wrong. He also told Margie that couples break up all the time and it's no one's business but their own. She should have kept her mouth shut whether it was true or not. Frank blew off his steam and hopefully it calmed him down.
Howard said that he never wants his station to fix that line. Howard talked to Tobey about how he got signed to the sequels for ''Spider-Man'' and then had some problems with his back. He said he's had this problem for 3 or 4 years and when he came out of ''Seabiscuit'' he was in bad shape. He was afraid something was going to happen shooting the sequel to ''Spider-Man.'' Howard heard about his back problems and told him about this Dr. Sarno (''The Mindbody Prescription : Healing the Body, Healing the Pain,'' ''Healing Back Pain : The Mind-Body Connection'') who helped him out with his back problems. Howard said he had a horrible back problem and he didn't need surgery like so many people get. Tobey said he's had no problems for about a year and a half now but if he does, he'll contact Dr. Sarno.
Howard talked to Tobey about the sequel and how he went back in and renegotiated his contract after the first one did so well. Howard and Robin talked to him about Kirsten Dunst and how Tobey may have had a crush on her when they shot the first movie. Tobey didn't want to talk about whether or not that was true. Howard went on to talk about how there are a lot of romances on the sets of movies because it's such a romantic place. He said it's like a whole new universe on the set of a movie.
Tobey said he's heard about people who have to work with people they've had relationships with in the past. He said that he wouldn't know himself if that was true but he's heard stories. Robin heard that Kirsten hates Tobey and they still have to do love scenes together. Tobey said the two of them get along just fine. Howard suggested that they have her killed off in the next movie so Peter Parker can meet some other (hotter) chicks.
Howard wondered if Tobey ever read the Spider-Man comic books when he was younger. Howard said he was really into the comic books and he likes to see those movies done well. Howard told Tobey not to get crazy and eventually say that he can't do Spider-Man movies in the future. He should do them as long as he possibly can. He said they played a tape during the news yesterday where Kirsten Dunst talked about how she wasn't sure they'd be able to 'squeeze'' more Spider-Man movies out after the third one. Howard said they could do 50 of those because there are so many great characters in the comic books.
Gary came in and asked Howard who he thinks would be the lead guest on The Tonight Show if Tobey and Howard did it again together. Howard said he still thinks that he's the bigger guest and he would demand to be on first. Tobey said that he would go on with Howard but he knows that Howard would demand to go first so he'd still do it that way. Howard and Tobey made an appearance on the show years ago and Howard was the big guest that time.
Vinnie Favale from CBS came in and talked about what they would do on Letterman's show if something like that happened. He thinks that it would be a tough call because both sides would be arguing about who would go on first.
Howard cut Vinnie off on that and asked Tobey who he's with at his house out in Los Angeles. Tobey said that he is involved with someone but he wouldn't talk about her. Artie asked him which Hooters waitress he was banging today. Tobey just laughed.
Howard said that ''Spider-Man 2'' set up the next movie and he can't wait for that one. Howard got a note telling him that Tobey is dating Jen Meyer who is the daughter of the head of Universal Studios. Tobey didn't say anything after Howard brought that up. He didn't want to get into that stuff. Howard said that's why he wouldn't be the lead on Leno.
Tobey said that he's had a great time on shows with Howard and people always ask him how tough it must be. It's not tough at all for him and they have fun.
A caller told Howard that he saw Tobey at a party dancing naked to the old Spider-Man theme song. The guy sounded nuts so Howard hung up on him. Another caller asked Tobey if his girlfriend likes a little ''mudd on the helmet.'' Howard had to hang up on that guy as well. He tried to get a legitimate caller. One guy called in and said that Tobey will probably back out of the third movie and won't end up doing it because he'll get so big. Tobey said he's absolutely doing the movie and they're writing the story already.
Howard took another call and the caller said that Howard dissed Tobey when they did the Tonight Show together years ago. The guy said that Howard had his back toward Tobey when he came out and ignored him the whole time. Howard told the guy he was nuts and he didn't ignore him.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Tobey how much she likes him. She said that she would have to go with Howard first over him though. Another caller said that Tobey saved his granddaughter's life in the first Spider-Man movie... She was one of the actors in the movie. Howard asked Tobey about the pictures that end up in the tabloids where he looks fat. Tobey said there was one time when he was hanging with friends and stuck his stomach out as a goof and he didn't know that there were photographers around. He said once he stuck that stomach out, he had a feeling that someone had photographed him.
Howard and Artie talked about the movie ''Seabiscuit'' and how great that movie was. Tobey heard from one guy that his daughter was very confused seeing that movie because Spider-Man was riding a horse.
Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that and told Tobey to come visit them in New York sometime. Artie told Tobey to marry the chick he's dating but cheat on her like crazy. He told him to ''live like Dean Martin.'' Howard wished him luck with everything and got off the phone. Howard said he really should change his name to Spider-Man. He thinks that would be cooler than Tobey. Howard forgot to ask Tobey how he gets motivated to play the part of Spider-Man.
After all of that nonsense Howard moved on to talk to King of all Blacks. King, a garbage man, brought in a bunch of garbage for Howard and the rest of the crew to check out. He had 4 cans of stuff and he wanted them to figure out if it was from a Spanish, Jewish, White or Black family. He showed the first can and told everyone that it contained pieces of wood, beer bottles (Budweiser), CD jewel cases and some other crap. No one guessed right so KoaB told them it was from a Hispanic family.
The second can contained coffee grinds, flavored seltzer water, lettuce, diet Coke, grapefruit, port wine, calendars and old newspapers. Howard guessed that it was from a Jewish home but it was from a plain old white family... white trash.
The third can contained corn flakes, Dunkin Donuts muffins, Entenmanns cakes, chips ahoy, Chinese food, flour and grape juice. This was from a Jewish family.
The final can was from a black family so Howard just had KoaB tell them what was in the can. It had a mayonnaise container, syrup, hot dogs, soda (not diet), butter and grape jelly among other things.
Howard spent a couple of minutes taking phone calls and talking to King about some of the things that go on picking up garbage.
Ken said that when he was in his mid-teens he noticed that he wasn't maturing like other kids. He didn't get pubic hair and he had a pear-shaped body that kids used to goof on. He was a very good hockey player in high school and it earned him a scholarship to college. As time went on he lost his motivation and strength in the sport and had to give it up. During that time he was also having problems getting an erection with women and he didn't have much of a sex drive. He tried going to psychologists and psychiatrists but they thought that it was all mental. They thought that it might have been his intense father who used to yell about ''faggots'' and stuff like that.
Ken then ran a marathon one time. After the marathon his nipples really hurt. They hurt so bad that he felt he had to squeeze them. When he did that milk came out! He didn't tell anyone at that time because he was embarrassed by it. He moved out to Los Angeles from the east coast for a new job and he soon started getting headaches but he thought it was just the bad air out there. Then he started dating a girl who eventually told him to see a doctor. He finally went to one after he had a problem getting it up for this girl he was dating. The doctor asked questions and found out about the erection problem. They did blood tests and found that he had a level of prolactin that was about 10 times higher than a pregnant woman would have. They then found out he had a tumor pressing on his pituitary gland. That's what caused the high level of prolactin. He then had brain surgery and got the tumor removed.
After the operation he said his life changed drastically. He lost the flab and man-boobs he had and his sex drive returned. He tested out his erection and spanked one out himself. He said the orgasm was really powerful and intense. Since he got his sex drive back he started dating other women and dumped the woman who helped him figure out what his problem was. He's now married to a woman and he's going to go back to playing hockey.
Ken wrote a book about this whole thing called ''Man Made : A Memoir of My Body''. Gary said there's a lot of interesting stuff in the book about the guy's life. You can find out more about Ken at KenBaker.net
A couple of women came down today to get plugs for their web site CatFightBabes.com so Howard hooked them up with Yaqi. Howard was going to ask them some questions and each time they got the wrong answer Yaqi would tickle them. If they got the answer correct they'd get a plug for their web site. First up was Heather. Yaqi shackled her to a bed they had set up in the studio and prepared to tickle her. Yaqi wanted to supervise the shackling himself because he wanted to make sure it was done correctly. She did escape one time though. Howard asked her a bunch of questions and she was able to answer most of them. Howard then threw in a couple of tough questions that she couldn't answer so Yaqi could tickle her. Heather told Howard that she thinks of tickling as torture most of the time but if she's attracted to the guy she would get turned on. Yaqi did some great tickling because Heather was squealing and screaming each time he touched her. Artie Lange kept making jokes about how he's probably killed some of his tickling victims. Yaqi uses socks on the women's wrists when he shackles them and Artie said in 5 years or so someone will probably find skeletons with socks on their arms in Yaqi's basement or something.
Heather told Howard that she wanted him to tickle her because she's attracted to him. She found Yaqi's tickling to just be torture. Howard went over and got a quick pointer from Yaqi who told him to tickle her upper thigh. Howard tried it and actually got a reaction from her. Once again she squealed and screamed as Howard tickled her. Then Yaqi joined in and the two of them double teamed her for a few seconds. Before the girls came in they were told to drink a lot of fluids so they might wet the bed as they got tickled. Heather said she drank a lot but she didn't end up wetting the bed.
Howard had to take a break before getting to the second woman, Star. When he came back they shackled Star to the bed and Howard asked her some questions. Star wasn't ticklish. Yaqi tried but couldn't get her to laugh. On Heather he'd used some lotion on her feet and tickled her which made her really squeal. Star just laid there and didn't make a sound. Stuttering John came in and gave it a try too. He got her to giggle for a second but ended up calling her a ''cold fish.'' Howard gave up on her after a couple of minutes. He also told Yaqi that they kind of find him to be like a serial killer-type which he didn't seem to appreciate. While he was trying to tickle Star Howard kept making references to killing her because she wasn't doing what he wanted her to do. Yaqi said he's never killed anyone... You can find out more about Yaqi and order his tickling video tape at YaqisWorld.com. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Yaqi before wrapping up the interview. Yaqi claims that woman actually pay him to tickle them. He said he charges $5 per pound to do the tickling. A phone caller told Howard that ticking guys is gay and Yaqi has done that. Yaqi doesn't seem to think it is gay though. He told Howard that he's never had gay sex and he's never murdered anyone as Howard wrapped up the interview.
Howard got back to John and Gary and talked about how much of a ball buster John is. KC came in and said the same thing about John. He constantly picks out people's flaws and goofs on them. Howard said he starts to laugh when he sees John doing that stuff but it's not right. The conversation led to Howard saying that he doesn't really like Gary but he likes his work so he keeps him around. That led to a big discussion about who Howard likes better in the studio. Howard said he likes Gary like he likes the chair in the studio. He said he likes Fred better than Gary and of course he likes Artie better than Gary. Howard said that he does like Gary more than Benjy and Scott the Engineer though. When Scott's name came up another discussion started about Scott's attitude toward their upcoming Las Vegas trip. He was complaining about their eating arrangements so Howard told him not to go. Scott went in the studio and said he was done and he wasn't going to go. Howard said that was fine and it wasn't a threat to him. Scott was serious when he told Howard he really didn't want to do this job. Howard gave him a second chance to change his mind and he decided he was wrong and he would do it even though everyone is going to treat him like crap.
The whole crew also brought up the Super Bowl and talked about how they were going to bet. KC mentioned that he was going to take the Patriots but a short time later Scott the Engineer (who always loses) said that he's taking the Patriots also. That probably means that they'll lose for sure if Scott picks them.
Bob said as long as Jess was on the phone he wanted her to back up a story he had about Richard Lewis. Bob said a couple of years ago he got some harassing phone calls from Lewis after he did an HBO special. Lewis thought that some of his material was a little too close to his so he left a bunch of messages on his answering machine asking Bob to call him back. Bob said he still has those messages, now burned on a CD, and he wanted to bring them in for Howard to hear. Bob's manager advised him that it might be a bad idea though. He's afraid it would lead to a lawsuit.
A short time later Richard Lewis was on the phone with his explanation. He said that at the time he thought that some of the material was very close to some stuff he'd done 4 years before and he wanted to know what Bob would have done if something like that happened to him. Richard said Bob is a very talented guy and he knows he wouldn't steal anyone's material. He also told Howard it's okay for him to play those messages on the air. Bob just sat there laughing at Richard as he defended his calls. Richard told Howard he didn't know Bob had a wife and kids at the time and that's why he left the harassing calls. Jessica said that he had to know because he called one time and her mother answered the phone. Richard asked her not to answer it the next time it rang because he wanted to leave a message for Bob.
Richard eventually said that he's glad Bob is better now and he knows he wouldn't steal his material. He then got off the phone but Bob was still laughing. He didn't seem to think Richard's call was sincere. Neither did Jessica. Bob continued to make fun of the whole situation for a couple of minutes.
Howard moved on to talk about Bob's dysfunctional family life. Bob said his 25th wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of days. At one point Gary asked him how he comes up with that number because he's had 8 separations, an annulment and a couple of divorces with the same woman. Bob said that's for the first time they got married. They also talked about Bob's girlfriend for a little while as well as his divorce and how messy that was.
Howard figured with all that's going on in his life he didn't even know about the September 11th tragedy. Bob told Howard he was in the hospital at the time and he was on morphine for the pain of a bleeding ulcer. He said someone came in and turned the TV on and, because he was so out of it, he thought he was watching a movie. He didn't know it was really happening.
Howard plugged a couple of Bob's upcoming comedy gigs. You can find out where he's appearing at WBR.com/RobertSchimmel
Suge also spoke about a bunch of other rappers and how about 95% of them are gay and don't know it. He claimed that Dr. Dre claimed to be bi-sexual in a meeting he had with him one time. Howard said that we don't know if that's true or not though.
Suge spent a little time telling Howard about his time in prison. He said there are some things that you just don't talk about as far as fights and stuff like that. Howard moved on to talk to Suge about the time he hung Vanilla Ice out a window by his ankles. Howard wondered what inspired him to do something like that. Suge didn't really give an answer though. He got back to his prison stay and told Howard about how he was able to cook his own meals because he had enough money to buy his own stuff. He was also able to lose weight and clear his mind while he was there.
Howard wondered what Suge had against Snoop because he seems like such a nice guy. Suge told Howard that he was a nice kid and his record company reinvented him. He also disrespected Suge and that's why he doesn't get along with him now. Howard also asked Suge about who killed Tupac. Suge wasn't talking though. He told Howard that he'd be considered a snitch if he knew who killed him and told someone about it. So he's keeping his mouth shut.
Suge has a new record company called The Row and he says he won't be beating up people like he may have done in the past as the head of Death Row Records. He plugged a bunch of the groups he has under the new label and said they have a web site at TheRow.com.
Suge spent a short time talking about how J-Lo made P. Diddy look like a bitch when she dumped him and went off with a dancer. Suge said that would never happen to him because he knows how to please a woman in every way. He also told Howard he's seen this J-Lo sex tape. He said that compared to J-Lo's sex tape the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee tape is rated PG. Howard tried to find out if Suge has ever banged a famous chick but Suge wouldn't talk. Suge told Howard he respects women and wouldn't talk about it on the radio.
Howard took a few phone calls for Suge and wrapped up the interview a short time later.
Howard had John perform bits of some of his hit songs while he was sitting in. He played a little bit of ''Jack and Diane'', ''Pink Houses'', ''Small Town'' and a little bit of his new song ''Peaceful World.''
As Howard was getting ready to wrap up the interview he was told about this guy who used to play with John's band who was featured on America's Most Wanted. He was wanted for child molestation and they kept bringing up the fact that the guy was in John's band. John said he doesn't know why they did that because he hasn't worked with the guy since the early 1980's. John went on to tell some funny stories about how strange the guy was. One story involved a hooker. He said this guy never really looked at chicks so they sent a hooker up to his room to see what he'd do. They had a tape recorder going in his room to see what he said to her. John said that the guy ended up giving the hooker a back rub and sent her off. John said the guy was a great musician but he was really strange.
Howard had John perform one last song before he left. He played a little bit of ''Paper and Fire'' and then Howard wrapped up the interview. Earlier in the show Howard thought about having John play some ''Gay Chicken'' with KC but that didn't come up for some reason.
Howard killed a few minutes by listening to a song he heard his music director playing in the hall. It's a remake of Peter Cetera's ''Glory of Love'' song that he thinks will be a huge hit. He played the whole thing and said he likes it. Robin didn't enjoy it though. When the chorus came in it sounded kind of gay to Gary. Howard never mentioned the name of the band but I've been told it's New Found Glory.
Howard finally got to the trivia game. He asked a total of about 30 questions alternating between Gary and Hank. Hank, who was extremely drunk, ended up beating Gary by a few correct answers. Gary is scheduled to appear on VH-1's Rock and Roll Jeopardy sometime in the near future so this was good practice. Here are a few samples of the questions they were asked:
John the Stutterer, another Rock and Roll trivia buff, called in and said he could beat Hank. The two of them ended up calling each other names and yelling at each other for a few minutes.
Through the whole game Hank was on the edge of his seat almost falling off because he couldn't keep his balance. Toward the end of the segment Howard had KC take Hank out of his chair and put him on the couch. At one point Hank put his head down and passed out. He fell asleep and started lightly snoring. Hank's manager, Doug Goodstein from E!, came in and said he's never seen Hank like that. Then they started talking about how Hank is in love with Doug's wife Marlo, who's really hot (check out HankTheDwarf.com under Hank's Posse for a pic), and he does some very inappropriate things when they go out to dinner. While Doug was talking about the things Hank does to Marlo, Hank awakened from his short nap. He said he'd never do anything to hurt Marlo. He then asked what time it was. Someone told him it was Saturday at 1am but he knew better. Howard told him it was February 2010 and that he's Rip Van Winkle.
A listener called in and told Howard that Hank's liver is failing and that's what caused him to pass out so quickly. He suggested that Hank go to a doctor and get his enzymes checked to see just how sick he really is.
Kendra Jade gave Hank a flash of her breasts and he got his second wind. He said that he was awake again after seeing that. Howard then wrapped up the segment and said that you can see Kendra at Al's Diamond Cabaret in Pennsylvania. Hank stuck around on the couch through the Robin's news.
|Question||Caller Says||Hooters Girl Answer||Correct?|
|The three states of matter are solid, liquid and...||N||Water||N|
|In what state would you find New Orleans?||N||Don't know||N|
|What is 10 percent of 200?||Two dollars||N|
Howard spoke to John about a bunch of different things. He brought up his marriage to Tatum O'Neil and how that went wrong. John said he tore up their pre-nuptial agreement when they got divorced so he could get joint custody of the kids by giving Tatum more money. He eventually got full custody of all of his kids. He's now married to Patty Smythe. He's got six now ranging in age from 2 to 16. He said he doesn't want any of them to play professional tennis though.
Howard brought up a bunch of other tennis players and asked John what he thinks of them. John never really liked Ivan Lendle so they talked about that for a short time. John even joked that Gary is lucky because Ivan has worse teeth than he does.
Artie Lange kept joking that when he was growing up tennis was considered a ''gay sport.'' When they'd mention something about a tennis camp or something like that Artie would say something about it being gay.
Howard and John talked about the game show John is hosting which airs Tuesday nights at 8pm. Howard said he thinks that John is good as the host and the show is pretty good too. He did have one review where the author called John a beady eyed ex-tennis player who looks like a poisonous insect. John didn't seem to care that much about the review though.
Howard took a few phone calls and spoke to John about his wife Patty for a few minutes before wrapping up the interview.