Howard started off the show talking about how he can't wait for the weekend to come. Only four more days after today. He went on to talk about the movie Beth had him watch yesterday. He said they watched ''Under the Tuscan Sun'' and he barely made it through. Once it was over he realized he kind of liked it. He wouldn't have made it through the first 20 minutes if Beth hadn't been there. He called it the ''ultimate chick flick'' while talking about it. He had to go watch ''Dodgeball'' the movie after that. He said he didn't really have the energy to get off the couch while the movie was playing either.
Howard brought up how ''Dodgeball'' made $30 million at the box office over the weekend. He said it was a low budget movie and it did really well while a movie like ''Around the World in 80 Days'' only did like $6 million. The new Tom Hanks movie ''Terminal'' didn't do that well either.
Howard got to see the new Michael Moore movie ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' over the weekend and he said it was spectacular. He gave Moore a plug for his web site (MichaelMoore.com) because he talks about how hard a time he's having getting the movie in theaters. Moore may be coming on the show soon to talk about that as well. Howard thinks that a TV network should take the show and have a 24 hour marathon of the movie to get it out to the people who can't see it in the theaters. He went on to talk about some of the stuff that Moore points out in the movie about what's going on with the Iraq war and how this country's borders are still unprotected.
Howard said Moore points out how the Bush administration makes you think that you're protected but you really aren't. They keep the alerts up and tell you about these vague threats that the country has and make you think that they're protecting you. Howard said that if Michael Moore comes in he's going to do something to help him promote it. He said he'll even show up at screenings if he wants to get people to the theaters. He said he's also thinking about doing a drawing where he'd take 70 listeners to Scores after holding a drawing with people's ticket stubs. He believes that could be a great promotional tool for the movie. He said that he's willing to do anything to help promote the movie and he's going to let Moore know that. Howard said he was on the verge of throwing up a couple of times during ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' after seeing what Bush has been up to.
A woman called in and said that she was at a theater up in Massachusetts and asked them if they were going to show ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' at the theater. She said that the theater people were telling her that they probably won't show it because it won't draw that big of a crowd. She Howard to tell Moore to put the film on the internet or something. Howard said that Moore wants to make some money with the movie though so he can see why he wants to get it into the theaters but he's having a tough time getting that done.
Howard talked about how everyone should go see this movie even if they are Bush supporters. He seems to think it will open up people's eyes to what the guy is doing in office. He took a bunch of phone calls after that and let a few people talk about Moore's movie. One guy said he's not going to vote for Bush this November but he does think that Moore has an agenda and he's a bit of a tool as well. Howard agreed that he is a bit of a tool but the movie was good.
Howard realized that he was playing with himself while he was talking about the Michael Moore movie. He and Artie talked about how that's just how guys are and it's all they think about doing. Howard went on to talk about his weekend with the family and how he's going to need the whole week to recover. He told Robin that his whole life is a mess and a nightmare and he has a lot of thoughts in his head about that stuff.
Howard said he was able to get a very rare ''screener'' copy of ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' so he could watch it in his spare time over the weekend. He said that they movie studio wasn't releasing the movie to anyone but they did send him a copy. He had to sign some things and it was a big deal that he was getting a copy. He said he should have taken it and made copies to give to anyone he knows because he thinks it's that big of a deal.
Howard said that he's afraid to bad mouth Bush because of what he's seen in Moore's movie. He's a scary guy. While he was talking about that he brought up Clear Channel and how they're a bunch of scumbags over there. They're trying to tie him up in court so he can't get on competing stations in the markets he was taken off in.
Howard went to his daughter's high school graduation over the weekend and it was tough to watch that happening. He said that she's going off to college later in the year and it made him wonder where his life went. He was also at a wedding over the weekend and a lot of people were coming up to him and talking about how they hate what the government is doing to him. They were being very nice about it all.
Eddie Van Halen finally got in touch with Howard over the weekend so he talked about that call. Howard said that he was talking to Eddie about how he'd like to see the movie where the band Metallica goes to a psychiatrist to try and save the band. Howard said that Eddie called them ''gay'' for doing stuff like that. He spent a couple of minutes talking about how cool Eddie was talking about the stuff that's going on with the FCC and all.
Howard said that KC came to him this morning with a prank call for him to play but they had to let Tom listen to it first. Howard talked about how they're going through the tapes they want to use for ''Best of Stern'' in a couple of weeks and Tom is bleeping a lot of stuff. Howard is so pissed off about that he's thinking about not letting them play the ''Best of'' stuff when they go on vacation. He was thinking of letting Michael Moore come in and talk about his movie while they're on vacation.
Gary told Howard he and Tom have to go through the tapes of the show and after he mentions a bit, Tom will just tell him he doesn't need to hear it and he won't let them play it. Howard thinks that Tom should just let them play everything and let the FCC fine him so he can be taken off the air already. He and the guys spent a couple more minutes on that and then went to commercial break.
Howard mentioned some of the stuff they have up on the web site and how much they've added lately. They have a ton of new pictures of Artie and Vinnie that they put up over the weekend. They're getting 5 to 10 new pictures of Artie every hour now.
Robin said she heard that Artie was a bit out of control on Friday night at the E! party they had. Howard said they have been on the E! network for 10 years now so they had a party on Friday night. He talked about how he was doing tequila shots with Artie that night and they were getting really wasted together. Howard said he appreciated the party very much but he had some complaints. The party was supposed to be from 6 to 10 and he was going to eat there instead of at home. He said that he thought the food was horrible.
Howard said they were supposed to be there until 10 but the restaurant said they only had it from 6 to 8 so everyone was out of there pretty early. He said they had a contract and all but they weren't prepared with deserts and stuff. Howard talked about how bad the food was and how unimpressed they were with it all. Gary came in and said that he got there a little late and the food was already gone. The party was pretty much over by 8 o'clock when the restaurant started letting people from the street in.
Howard was asked to make a speech at the party by the head of the E! network even though he wasn't prepared to do that. He didn't have anything prepared but the guys told him that it wasn't that bad. Gary told Howard that the music changed abruptly that night because Artie was complaining about how much it sucked. Scott the Engineer came in and told Howard that he had to drag Artie away from the deejay and the manager because he was giving them such a hard time.
There were a lot of funny stories about Artie telling bad jokes and goofing on a bunch of people at the party. Howard said that he appreciated the party that E! threw for them even though it was a little short and the food sucked. Howard said he learned that a bunch of the guys on the show had girlfriends. He didn't know that some of the guys had girlfriends.
Howard said that he made a speech about the show and later realized that he didn't mention Fred in it when he saw him sitting there. He later heard that Fred wasn't there at the time he was making the speech. Artie said that Howard made his speech and would bring people up as he saw them there at the party. Howard was drunk at the time so it was lucky that he knew anyone's name at all.
Robin said that the big surprise was that Steve Grillo showed up with his wife. Howard talked about how he's got a ton of tattoos on him now and he's an electrician. They didn't know that he was married either. Robin said he's a bit stocky now and he's gained a little weight.
Howard got a letter from Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) who was at their station's DFP concert. He gave his views on a bunch of things he saw there. He said that Ronnie the Limo Driver is a miserable son of a bitch. Ronnie came in and said that Chaunce is just mad because no one likes him and no one would sit with him at the concert on Saturday. Howard said that Ronnie was really drunk at the E! party on Friday. They talked about that for a short time. Howard read more of Chaunce's letter. He talked about how Tom made some costume changes during the show but no one else thought that was true. He made a few other observations that the guys thought he was making up. They were kind of ''out there'' according to the guys.
Chaunce said that Robin was at the concert with a female friend and she didn't leave her side the whole day. He was making it sound like she's a lesbian or something. Howard said that he hears that from a lot of people and they seem to think that she's only got Mr. X around as a beard. Chaunce picked up on a bunch of other things at the concert like Steve Grillo's bad tattoos and his wedding ring.
There was some controversy about Scott the Engineer's son's band playing at the concert. They had 15 minutes to play at the concert but they tried to negotiate another 5 minutes. Howard spoke to Scott about that for about 10 seconds and cut him off. He read more about Chaunce's thought's of what went on at that concert. He made a few more comments about Ronnie and Ronnie thought he was nuts because he claimed none of that was going on.
High Pitch Erik and Angry Black were at the concert and ended up in the VIP tent somehow. Howard said when you see High Pitch Erik in the VIP tent, you don't feel so ''VIP'' anymore. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' again. Howard told the caller that he is going to do everything he can to help Michael Moore promote that movie. He's willing to show up at screenings and even do a raffle for a big Scores party or something for him. He also thinks that he should put the movie on TV and keep showing it until election day. He encouraged hid audience to go see the movie if they can even if they are Bush supporters.
Robin said that she wants Scott DePace to go see the movie because he's such a huge Bush supporter. DePace came in a short time later and said that he will go to see it but he won't pay. Robin said she'd buy him the ticket. He won't pay because he doesn't want to support the guy. He was wondering why Moore doesn't do this stuff for free if he believes in it so much. Howard told him that doesn't make any sense because the guy is a film maker. Robin is ready to take ''everyone'' with her to see the movie. She has Artie and Scott DePace already lined up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he can't stop thinking about his girfriend's mother who is 47 years old. The guy is 18 and his girlfriend is 18. He said that her mother walks around topless all the time and it drives him nuts. Howard encouraged him to just do the mother because the 18 year old won't be around in a few years anyway. The caller said that she's a little too tall for him but the guys told him he's not going to date her so it doesn't matter. The guy also said that the mother has a fiancee. Artie told the guy to just take a shot, he's only 18 years old and if everything goes wrong it won't matter much. Howard gave the guy a pair of tickets for a local screening of ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' before getting off the phone with him.
Joan said that she recently went to her 50th anniversary college reunion and half of the people looked great and the others looked awful. Howard talked about that with her for a short time and then moved on to talk about Joan's daughter's wedding which was listed as one of the most expensive weddings of all time. Melissa is now divorced.
Howard wondered if Joan would ever try lesbian stuff. Joan told Howard that if she found a woman to be attractive, she might try something. Howard told her that she should give it a try but Joan doesn't find anyone that attractive at this point. Howard said that she'll never do it if that's the way she feels. He went on to ask her about who she's dating these days. He heard that she and her boyfriend broke up. She said that guys in their 40's sometimes try to pick her up but she doesn't trust them. Artie said that he'd date her but Joan seemed to think that he would be doing her a favor by going out with her so that wouldn't happen.
Joan has actually put herself on Jdate.com (a Jewish dating service) and tried to find a guy that way. She didn't put her self on as Joan Rivers though. She was on as ''MamaHaha'' who was a famous writer. She didn't get one response to that though. Howard wondered why she went on JDate and not something else. Joan said that she went on there because she's ''J.'' Joan said she had to put her real age on the web site so that could have been part of the problem.
Joan told Howard that her dog had diarrhea this morning all over her new carpet, then her friend was drinking out of her cup and said that she has sores in her mouth. Then Howard wanted to take phone calls for her and she knew that they were going to be angry. Howard took one call for her a short time later and then gave her a couple of plugs for some appearances she's making soon. She's appearing at the Stardust in Las Vegas soon and you can find out more about that at StardustLV.com and she's going to be up in Albany at the Palace theater soon as well. You can find more about that at PalaceAlbany.com. Howard wrapped up with Joan a short time later and took another break.
Howard said the NBC report was about how the FCC is in charge of this E-Rate program that is supposed to bring computers to schools. He then played the tape which was a report that NBC does called ''The Fleecing of America.'' They talk about this E-Rate program that is supposed to bring computers to schools but the $2 billion that is spent on the program is a waste. They found that they are buying high-end computers and the equipment ends up sitting around for years, eventually being outdated before it makes it to the schools. They say that the FCC has been asleep at the wheel with this program.
After playing the tape Howard said that if he was in charge of that $2 billion he wouldn't be flying out to Las Vegas to make appearances and stuff like Michael Powell does. He said that he would make sure that the $2 billion was spent correctly on the computers that they're supposed to be spending it on. He pointed out how ridiculous it is going after him for saying penis when they're pissing away $2 billion that's supposed to be spent helping kids. He said that guy will never lose his job either because he's Colin Powell's son. He said he hopes that Powell fines him even more so he gets kicked off the air. He's going to keep exposing that guy for what he's doing.
Howard went off on Clear Channel again for a short time after that since they're jerking him around as well. He went off on them for a minute and said that he was going to stop talking about politics for now.
The first tape Howard had was Scott the Engineer introducing his son's band. Scott introduced himself as being ''Scott from the Howard Stern Show.'' Howard didn't like that he brought his name into that. He asked Scott not to do that anymore. Scott was talking about how ''totally awesome'' the concert was going to be and then introduced his son's band. Howard heard that Scott was trying to video tape his son's performance but security had to put a stop to that. Scott said that his wife was taping and they asked her to stop so she did.
Howard had another clip from the concert from this guy Brad Mabe and deejay Danni cursing on stage. Julie Slater, another deejay at the station, got up on the stage with Dead Air Dave and cursed but it didn't go over very well. Howard and Artie goofed on them about that stuff for a short time and goofed on all of the deejays about that. Artie was yelling out all kinds of nonsense that the deejays might yell about.
Howard took a call from a guy who saw Scott the Engineer there at the concert and described his sweaty armpits. He also pointed out that the concert was held at a Clear Channel location. Howard said they had no choice in that because Clear Channel has such a monopoly on concert venues around the country. Scott the Engineer said that he had to wear a tag that had Clear Channel written all over it as his identification at the concert.
Howard had some tape of Cabbie going nuts on stage with Brad Mabe. The two of them introduced Cypress Hill. Howard quickly played that and then played Will Pendarvis and Ben Harvey introducing The Darkness. All of the deejays will either curse or talk about drugs to get the crowd going. They'll throw in some other goofy stuff as well. Robin actually did a stage announcement so Howard had to play that one. She got up on stage and tried to be cool. She wasn't yelling, she just spoke at a regular level and sounded kind of creepy doing that. She didn't curse at all but someone in the crowd yelled ''Show us you tits'' so they had to censor that out. Robin introduced Jay Z after that. Howard wasn't too impressed with Robin's stage announcements so he got back to Julie Slater who was yelling at the top of her lungs.
Today Richard had a montage of some songs he's put together. Howard said he'd play some of the stuff he had for them. Richard took a bunch of TV show theme songs and used ''Baba Booey'' along with them. Artie was laughing his ass off as he heard some of the songs. Howard played one where Richard took some OJ Simpson clips and Eric the Midget clips and put them to music. In another song he took Vinnie Favale's tapes and put some of the creepy lines he has to music. Richard offered to play drums for The Losers if they enter the Vinnie Favale song parody contest. Howard told him he's in.
Howard played some of Richard's other song parodies and they were pretty good. KC came in and told Howard hat Richard had a total of 45 songs. Howard played some more of the gay KC songs he put together. There were a ton of them and each one was just as funny as the last. Howard took some phone calls and the fans seemed to be happy with what they were hearing. People weren't aware that he had created so many of those songs and other bits that Howard had played.
Howard said that he's looking forward to having him in all week but there were a lot of other guys who were great including Dan the Song Parody Man, Sal the Stockbroker, Yucko the Clown and the others. Artie also said that Rev. Bob Levy was great as well. Howard had to take a break shortly after that.
The writer talks about Imus walking around with a gun belt and gun holstered in it. Howard said he should be investigated if that's the case. He'd love to get verification about that stuff. Gary came in and told Howard he has a guy who he talked to about an incident Imus had with a gun one time. He wants to get him to call in sometime.
Howard read through more of the letter he got and talked about how he doesn't understand why kids would want to hang around Imus. He asked Gary if the guy he was talking about is for real. Gary said they know the guy but he's not sure he's telling the truth. Howard and the guys went on to talk about how messed up Imus and his wife come off on TV interviews.
Howard mentioned that the ''Get's John's Job'' stuff starts airing on E! tonight. He said that they have Sal the Stockbroker on tonight's show with his Uncle Paulie and stuff like that.
Howard was talking about the E! party on Friday when he said that he heard that Scott DePace thinks he hates him because of his politics. Howard said he loves Scott and it doesn't matter what his political views are. They spent a couple of minutes on that. Howard mentioned that he has this guy Steve Raichlen (''BBQ USA: 425 Fiery Recipes from All Across America'' and ''How to Grill: The Complete Illustrated Book of Barbecue Techniques'') coming out to his place this summer to do some grilling. Howard mentioned that he came up with a recipe last year and Steve put it in his new book. The guys talked about some of the stuff they cooked last year and how fun that was. Gary and Scott both use Steve's book when they cook out.
Howard said that he got some ratings stuff from Vinnie Favale who pointed out that the Tonight Show ratings have dropped off quite a bit lately. He said that the show has become so bland that no one is watching now. Howard goofed on Leno for a short time and said that Leno and Letterman are closer than ever in the ratings from what he remembers.
Ralph called in and told Scott that he should talk honestly about what he says about Howard off the air. Ralph seems to think that Scott isn't honest on the air but Howard didn't seem to care all that much.
Howard moved on and said that he had a great story about this dog Mongo. The dog has some problems breathing and it needed an operation. Ralph said that Howard was the one who paid for the operation but Howard didn't want credit for that. Howard said the dog would actually turn blue when it got excited because of it's breathing problems. Howard said this dog needs a home after it's operation so Ralph is thinking of taking it. None of the guys in the studio think that Ralph would be able to take care of it. Howard seems to think he'll be okay with it but the guys seem to think that he won't be able to walk the dog 3 times a day like he's supposed to. Ralph says he'll be able to do it no matter what they think.
Howard said this poor dog has been around to a couple of places so far and no one can handle the dog the way it is. He believes that Ralph will be able to do it after the operation.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that the ratings for the Tonight Show have gone down 5 percent in the Men 18-35 demographic since John started there. Howard doesn't think that it's John's fault but Jay should keep putting him on. The guys talked about that for a few seconds before Howard wanted Robin to move on to her news.
Howard started off the show talking about his breakfast which he'd just scarfed down so fast it made him dizzy. He had a bunch of stuff to get to so he started off with some tape from last night's ''Jeopardy'' where his name was mentioned. There's a guy on the show who has been on for quite a while. He's been on the show for 14 days and has won $471,000. Howard told Fred that he should go on now because he could rake in the bucks. Howard played the audio clip from the show where they asked about Howard's book ''Private Parts.''
Howard had audio of Billy Crystal out promoting a movie and pointed out that he has become Sammy Davis Jr. These days the way he talks. Crystal talks about going to Martin Short's house for parties and he name dropped like crazy during the discussion. Kurt Russell was also there talking about the Marty Short parties and how great they are. Howard was annoyed with both of them and goofed on Crystal and the way he sounds like Sammy Davis Jr. now.
Howard said it's funny how guys like Martin Short are actually short. He said he once saw a group of guys including Martin Short and Paul Shaffer who are a couple of tiny guys standing around at David Letterman's show one time. He said they all looked like a bunch of old, young boys standing around.
Howard said that Nicole Richie is coming in tomorrow. He can't wait to find out how good she looks compared to the pictures in FHM magazine. That led to Howard talking about how this scumbag reporter Lloyd Grove wrote an article about Beth and it just shows that he has nothing to write about. He wrote the story about an FHM party for Beth's layout and how desperate they are to get people to come to their party. Howard said the guy is insane and he doesn't know what the Daily News is up to hiring this guy. Howard said that he has some gossip that he's going to pass along to Richard Johnson at Page Six.
Howard said there's some news on HowardStern.com about the indecency bill that had stalled in the Senate. He just found out that this Senator Brownback added an amendment to the bill where they're going to raise the maximum fines from $500,000 to $3 million. Howard said there's a link on his web site to a story about the bill and how they're using the war as a way to get this bill passed somehow. Howard has a guy who works on his web site looking into the story even more. That led to him talking about how the religious right wing nuts are ruining the country with this stuff.
Howard said he can't afford to stay on the air if that bill passes. He said they're freaking out over there at the station because of this. He said the whole thing is a joke. He spent a couple of minutes talking about that and then got back to some other tapes they had to play.
Howard said he walked into the E! room and Scott DePace told him they won the Telly Award which is similar to the Cable Ace awards. Robin Radzinski came in and told Howard that the award is actually a pretty prestigious award. They won for Best TV Production in Entertainment for an interview they did with Jim Carrey. The award show is not broadcast though so Howard won't be accepting on TV anywhere. Howard wants to take a day off and celebrate since they never win anything even after being on E! for 10 years now.
Howard was up late last night watching Arnold Schwarzenegger in ''Eraser'' so he was kind of tired this morning. He's seen the movie before but he had to stay up and watch it again. Robin said she saw the movie ''Dodgeball'' last night and she was laughing out loud at it. She had to apologize to them for thinking that it was going to be bad.
Howard is number 11 on the ''50 Greatest Smartasses'' list on Comedy Central. He played an audio clip from the show where Patrice O'Neal talks about how great Howard is. Jim Florentine also talked about how great Howard was and how he used to listen to him years ago. Nicole Sullivan was also in there talking about how great Howard is. Howard wondered if he could get Nicole. Artie said she was a huge fan of Howard's back when he worked with her at MAD TV.
A caller told Howard that Prince's shows aren't being produced by Clear Channel so he should feel free to go see him. Howard went on to talk about how he's going to avoid going to any Clear Channel venue the best he can and won't go to see any concerts that are held anywhere that Clear Channel owns.
The caller Howard had on the line brought up an old story about Howard going to Frank's Chicken House with Amy Lynn one time. Howard talked about the Frank's place and how it's a full nude place where you have to bring your own alcohol. Artie talked about going there with some friends of his years ago standing next to some chick who had MMM breasts. Howard remembered how great Amy Lynn's body was back then. He hasn't seen her in years though so he doesn't know how she looks these days. Amy used to let guys take pictures with her and would charge like $25 for Polaroid pictures. Howard got to take a few without being charged of course.
Artie likes to see women who have no problem being naked just walking around doing stuff. Howard said Amy used to do everything naked and would even eat naked with people. The guys weren't sure if Frank's Chicken House is still around. Robin said that it's a historical place so it should be there. Howard and the guys wondered why a place like that can't sell alcohol but guys can bring their own. It doesn't make much sense to them. Guys are there getting drunk either way.
Howard said he watched the 60 Minutes interview with Bill Clinton the other night and it just showed what a mess he is. Robin saw it as well so she talked about how despicable the guy is. Howard wondered if the guy has cheated on his wife since Monica Lewinsky. Robin figures he has because he's been cheating his whole life. Howard talked about the women that Clinton banged and how much of a mess they were. He said it was a ''bevy of mediocrity.''
Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard his web site is looking good these days. He also asked Howard what happened to the cartoon he was working on called ''Doomsday.'' Howard told the guy he had a bunch of stuff that never went anywhere and that was one of the projects. Howard told the guy about his ''Howard Stern the High School Years'' cartoon that's in the works. He's gotten his first script approved so now they have to animate the first episode and write 6 more. He went to commercial break after talking about that for a short time.
Howard read some of the e-mail they got about Richard yesterday. Richard said he was checking some message boards and the people were pretty brutal about him. Howard went through some of the mail he had but it wasn't about Richard, it was about his backing of Michael Moore and his new movie ''Fahrenheit 9/11.'' Howard got some mail about Joan Rivers and some people don't want her to be on the show anymore. Howard likes her though. One guy wanted more of Sal the Stockbroker's Uncle Paulie instead.
Howard read some of the mail they got about Richard and how good the many song parodies of his were. A listener told Howard about how great Richard was in the band he was with. Another guy said that the guy is great and had contributed more than any of the other guys that have tried out for the job combined. Howard said the guy only got one negative e-mail so he read that and the writer said he wasn't impressed with his stuff.
Howard had one of Richard's bits. It was a bit called ''Night of the Midget'' featuring Eric the Midget's voice mail to Howard put to eerie music and presented as a movie commercial. Howard said it was very nice and he'd have nightmares if he went to see a movie like that. Howard then played a compilation of the many song parodies and other bits that Richard has sent into the show in the past.
Cabbie called in and said that this guy sucks. He said that he makes some funny songs but the ''Night of the Midget'' thing was weak. Cabbie wondered what Howard was looking for, someone who can edit songs or someone who is multi-dimensional. Cabbie thinks that Howard glanced over Rev. Bob Levy because he dropped him on the last day. Howard said he might have helped Bob by doing that. He didn't explain what he meant by that though.
Richard said that Cabbie might be upset because he was kind of brutal with him after he admitted he'd been with a man. Howard let Richard move on to the game he put together for them. He had everyone take a perversity test yesterday and he was going to ask them about who said what on these tests.
Richard said that one person said that they're not perverted at all. Howard knew it was him that said it. Howard believes that he's not perverted at all. The guys and Robin started to talk about some of the stuff that he's done in the past that's kind of perverted. Robin said she's kind of perverted because she likes to be watched. She said she's had sex in public places and she thinks that's perverted. Richard said he's kind of perverted as well because he once made love to a roll of paper towels.
Richard asked who lost their virginity the earliest. The person answered that they lost it between 10 and 13 years of age. Howard and the guys tried to figure out who it was and ended up talking about Robin's father molesting her for a short time. Howard thought it was KC with a young man. Artie thought it was KC as well... and they were right. Gary was actually able to track down the girl who banged KC but she didn't want to come on the air.
Richard said that two people have deflowered virgins. Gary thought Howard was one of them. The guys all thought KC was one of them and Robin might be the other. Howard said he doesn't think that Artie ever did that. It turned out to be KC and Gary who have gotten virgins. Gary said his experience was horrible. KC said his experience was good though.
Howard was running out of time so he had Richard do his best one. He said that the person said that he likes pleasing his partner in the most intimate of areas and likes having himself pleased in the same spot. They all knew it was Gary and he likes getting some ass sometimes. Howard said he has no desire to do that stuff but Gary loves it. KC told Gary that it's gay if he enjoys getting it. Artie said that area pleases him only when something is leaving it.
Howard and the guys were goofing on Gary about getting anal pleasure and were trying to picture him on all fours or laying on his back with his legs up in the air. Gary said that his wife has never participated in that stuff though. He has had a couple of other women do it to him though. Howard said he'd love to get those two women on the show.
A listener called in and told Howard a story but the delay button was hit so we didn't hear the whole thing. Another caller told Howard that he likes this guy Richard and the stuff he's done. Howard couldn't get over Gary's anal stuff so he continued to question him about how he positions himself on when he gets that done.
Howard played Richard's Baba Booey song parody compilation for a few seconds and had Richard do just one more. Richard said that two people have peeped on other people. Howard admitted that he was one of them and he has peeped on other people. He said he was only in 5th grade when a neighbor showed him his uncle and aunt were doing stuff with each other and they watched. Howard said it was a freaky scene and it was weird to him. The other guy who peeped on people was KC. KC said that he was in college and used to watch other people doing stuff.
Chaunce Hayden called in and said that this guy Richard isn't that creative and it sounded like he was just ripping off stuff that Sal has done. Chaunce said that he thinks ''the fix is in'' and hung up the phone. Howard talked about how upset Chaunce was that no one liked him when he was on the show. The guys talked about how weird Chaunce is with that stuff and how paranoid he is.
A caller asked Howard if Stuttering John ever did this much stuff. Howard said John did him a big favor by leaving the show because it's allowing them to get some fresh energy on the show now. That led to the guy talking about how he can't wait to see Beth in FHM magazine. Howard talked about how great she is and how it's really tough to have other women hitting on him because he doesn't want to screw things up with Beth. He said the sex with her is good and he doesn't screw things up with her. He's able to please her and she pleases him. Howard said that she's completely shaved and he once shaved her himself. Howard ended up giving the caller a $500 prize courtesy of the ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' movie. Gary told Howard that Michael Moore is coming in on Friday to talk about the movie. Howard had to go to break after that. They played another one of Richard's song parodies as they were going into commercial but the delay was hit on part of the song which was about Robin.
Ben Cohen from Ben & Jerry's ice cream has written a book and was calling in to talk about that. Howard got him on the line and asked him about the money they made selling the company. Ben said they didn't make much while they were working there and he didn't get all $326 million that he sold the business for.
Howard talked about a friend of his who was offered the chance to get in on the whole Ben & Jerry's thing but he didn't take that chance and now he's kicking himself. Howard said he always thought the guy was full of it when he heard the story but it turns out it was true.
Ben told Howard about the many schools he went to over the years. He also talked about the names that they had for their ice cream. Howard heard that they took acid before naming them and would come up with them like that. Ben said that all of the names came from the customers so perhaps it was them taking the acid.
Howard gave Ben a plug for his new book ''50 Ways You Can Show George the Door in 2004'' and this web site TrueMajority.org. The two of them talked about some of the suggestions that Ben has for people to help get Bush out of office. He talks about registering yourself and others to vote, voting by mail and some other things. Ben suggests that when walking your pet, it's a great time to talk politics.
Howard asked Ben if he had seen ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' yet. Ben hadn't seen it but it is supposed to be coming to Vermont on Friday. Howard told him the movie was very good and he should go see it. The two of them talked about other things they're doing to try and get Bush out of office. Ben says that ridicule is one way to do it and they have a statue of Bush with his pants on fire going around the country to get people's attention. Howard wrapped up with Ben a short time after talking about that.
Howard got to some more e-mail they've gotten lately. One person wrote in and said that Imus apparently wears a gun and holster while he's doing his morning show and you catch a glimpse of it once in a while on MSNBC.
Some people wrote in about the band Hoobastank being on the show last week. Some people liked the band but others really hated them. Some people were angry that Howard liked their music. Howard played their performance of ''The Reason'' even though he'd just read all of the negative mail about the band. As the song was playing Howard read an e-mail from someone who thanked Howard for the worst ride to work ever while listening to the band. One writer was pissed that the band got a record deal and didn't even have a name for their band at the time.
Howard said that he went to his niece's wedding over the weekend and noticed some of the guys staring at him and the envy in their eyes. He said that there are a lot of guys out there who think they're great musicians but they really suck and will never make it. Those are the same guys writing in and complaining about Hoobastank. He continued to play the rest of ''The Reason'' and wondered what the song was about. Robin explained the song to him since he wasn't able to figure it out himself.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that the lyrics for one of his songs was much cooler than Hoobastank's song was. Howard said that Vinnie is one of those guys who thinks he's a great musician but he's really not. Howard told everyone that there's a song contest going on right now based on Vinnie's song ''Restless, Restless'' and you can find out more about that at HowardStern.com.
Howard said they've gotten a bunch of entries for the Vinnie song contest. He played one that was done as a country song. Howard thought it was actually pretty good and said that the guy was officially a genius if he could put those lyrics to music. Howard played Vinnie's original version of the song and then went into the country version that this listener sent in. The lyrics were still awful but it was pretty amazing that the guy was able to make them work at all. Artie said he thought the song was great. Howard and Artie were giving the guy a lot of credit for doing what he did.
Howard played another entry for the Vinnie song contest and it was kind of a ''Beck Thing'' according to Howard. There was also a heavy metal version that a band sent in. Howard liked that one as well. It got some laughs from Robin. Another person sent in a slow version of the song. Howard said it's by someone called Dr. Mo. It wasn't really that slow but people are finding ways to work with those lyrics.
Robin said the best way to work with that song is to deemphasize the lyrics and concentrate on the music. A listener called in and said that the country version wasn't all that bad for what he had to work with. He also liked the heavy metal version. Ralph called in and said that the country version was so good that he almost started to like the song. He doesn't even like country music and it was kind of liking what he heard. Howard played it again after that. Robin hates the lyrics so much that she was ready to throw up. Ralph said that's because black people don't like country music. Robin said that's not true and Ray Charles performed country music. Howard got back to the song and said that Vinnie made it tough with those lyrics of his. Ralph said that he wanted Vinnie to know that it's not his lyrics he likes, it's what the guy did with those lyrics that he was getting some enjoyment out of.
Howard said that someone called Gary the Retard and hooked him up with Wendy the Retard. Then he threw in some clips of Artie and had them yelling at the tapes. Artie said that it was Doug Goodstein from E! who put that together. Howard said he didn't think Doug wanted his name associated with that though. He went on to play the tape where Gary and Wendy got mad at the Artie clips because they thought it was someone interrupting them. Gary the Retard got really pissed and yelled at Artie to get off the F'n phone a few times. He was also calling him an ''F'n drunk.'' Gary had the sense to know that it was Artie's voice but he didn't get that it was just tape of him talking.
Eric the Midget called in to talk about how they are using his voice in parodies and stuff. He's pissed that they're using his voice in the bits because that's not why he calls the show. Howard told him that was tough and he's already in the bits. Richard Christy came in and told him he was sorry about that and he hopes that the midget wrath isn't coming down on him.
Howard played the bit for Eric since he hadn't heard it himself. He read it on the web somewhere. He replayed the bit that they played earlier in the morning where Richard took Eric's voice mail and turned it into a movie preview for ''Night of the Midget.'' Robin asked Eric if he thought it was great. He said ''Noo'' and that Richard won't be getting his vote for the contest. Richard said he did a song parody about Eric as well. That's what they played on yesterday's show. Artie was goofing on Eric doing an impression of ''Evil Eric the Midget.'' Eric told Artie to shove a McGriddle in his mouth and to shut up. Howard played a quick clip of the Eric the Midget ''Shut the F*** Up'' song that Richard threw together. Eric didn't like that either.
Howard wanted Eric to go off on Richard but Eric didn't want people talking over him. He said that he doesn't call the show to be made fun of by some guy who's there for only a week. Howard saw that he had ''Kelly Clarkson'' on the line... Eric knew that it wasn't really her. He was right, it was Captain Janks doing his female voice. Eric said that it didn't sound like her voice. Howard said that was going nowhere so he bailed on Janks and then got ready to get Eric off the line. Artie was doing his impression of Evil Eric again and making him sound like the super villain that they've turned him into.
Eric told Howard that he sent some pictures in to Will if he wanted to see what he looks like. Howard said he saw them and it shows that Eric uses his wheelchair to get to these WWE wrestlers. Howard said Eric looks like he's just barely more than head in the pictures. He said something about him being the ''human comma.'' Howard also talked about how Eric wanted to audition for one of his movies but his parents won't let him do it. Howard said that he wouldn't mind doing a small film... or a short film with Eric the Midget. He ended up giving Eric a $500 prize for calling in.
Eric told Howard that he's getting back into the Little Person Association but Howard didn't think that he was even big engorge to be in the little person's thing. Gary came in and said that Eric's parents hate Howard so much that they won't even allow them to send a copy of a script to their house. They have to send it to a friend's house and Eric has to go pick it up.
Howard played that tape and you hear this guy Lou Dickey talking about how Janet Jackson has caused the FCC to crack down and it seems that the media is responding to that. Howard brought up the fact that there are people cursing on live TV and no one is complaining about that. Dickey was saying that his company doesn't broadcast shows like Howard's to Middle America but he has no problem with him. He said that there's really no place for Howard in Middle America which was making it sound like Howard only works in urban areas. Dickey is also saying that it's possible that the FCC will come in and put an end to the freedoms on satellite radio as well. Howard thinks that if he goes on satellite, he'll change things like no one believes. He will help destroy regular radio by going to satellite. Howard said if they go after him on satellite, he'll go on the internet. If they come after him on the internet, he'll go door to door and talk to people personally. He's not going to put up with that crap and he wants the FCC to fine him even more so he'll become bigger than ever.
Howard did his daily political rant after that. He did the usual speech about how horrible President Bush and his administration are. He pointed out that he has a ton of articles on his web site about Bush and the bumbling fool that he really is. Howard talked about a bunch of things that Bush is up to and what the FCC has been up to wasting billions of dollars of taxpayer money. He talked about that yesterday as well and there are links on his web site linking to those stories.
Howard got back to the tape of that Dickey guy talking about how ''clean radio'' can still work these days. Howard said no one cares about those stations. He said he knew he shouldn't have played that tape because it got him so pissed off. He had to take a break after playing it.
Then Howard was talking about how it's supposed to rain in the city today. He doesn't mind the rain during the week, he hates it on the weekend. Artie said that last weekend was beautiful but Howard was stuck inside the whole weekend. Howard said he was kind of bummed about that. That led to him talking about going to his daughter's high school graduation and how sad it was to him. He said he almost wished he could turn back the clock and go back in time. He also thought about how he didn't go to his own graduation. Artie said he wasn't allowed to go to his own graduation.
Howard brought up the stuff people were saying about him in the game they played recently where people were quoted about what annoyed them about other people on the show. Howard realized that he is very flawed as a human being and it's not pleasant being so distant with the people he works with. That led to Fred talking about how strange Benjy's statement was about Howard during that game. Benjy said something about Howard not having convictions. He was also saying that if Howard likes someone, he likes everything about them and if he dislikes them, he dislikes everything about them. Howard said that's not really true because he likes Benjy but not everything about him.
Benjy tried to point out some stuff about Howard and the Iraq war but Howard denied saying some of the things that Benjy was bringing up. Howard ended up getting fed up with Benjy's arguments and turned off his microphone.
Jeff the Drunk called in and told Howard that he didn't graduate from high school until he was the tender age of 21! Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that with him. Jeff was a junior in high school when he was in a car accident that paralyzed his arm. He had already been left back before that so it wasn't the accident that held him back. Jeff said he was held back in 10th grade. Howard said he would have dropped out by then if that was the case. KC told Howard that Jeff went out drinking with his teachers after he graduated since he was old enough by that time.
A listener called in and said he was in the band that played at his niece's wedding. He said they're big fans of his but they didn't come up to him and bother him that day. Howard said they could have come up to him, he thought they were a cool band and liked them. The guy also said that Howard's parents were out on the floor dancing together quite a bit that night. He also said that Howard was out dancing as well and he had some moves. Howard said he was dancing with his gay cousin out on the floor that night.
Howard talked about how odd it is that his father likes to dance. He's got a bunch of complicated moves that he does that he'd never be able to follow himself. It's like choreography. He said it looks like a lot of work and a lot of serious business with him and it doesn't seem like fun for the guy. Howard demonstrated some of the stuff his father does and how the women he dances with seem to know what to do as well. Fred was doing an impression of Ben talking about the dance moves he does.
Howard was goofing around with the kids at the wedding telling them that his father was having an affair with a woman he was dancing with. Artie asked Howard if he's ever seen his father's package before. Howard said he did see it when he was a kid and it's pretty big. He believes that he didn't take after his father in that area, he took after his mother. The delay got hit a couple of times toward the end of that conversation. Howard went to break after that.
After the break Howard took a call from a woman who got him started on the political issues again. She and Howard were talking about the scumbags like Jay Leno and Oprah Winfrey who have politicians on their shows but never reveal what their own political views are. Howard said Jay does that because he doesn't want to alienate any of his fans. Howard said that the polls are saying that 67 percent of his audience can be considered swing voters that are probably going to vote for John Kerry this November. Howard went off on Bush for a minute and then finally had Robin start her news.
Howard wasn't sure where to begin this morning. Yesterday was a big day but there was no news about how the senate passed the indecency bill. He was home reading some stuff about how many times the dump button was hit on the show. He said on Friday the 18th there were 9 hits. Richard Jeni said something about a drink coming out of ''each nipple'' and they hit the delay. Monday they dumped 15 seconds of Taylor Rain moaning from her porn movies because Howard said it was tape of Joan having sex. Everything funny is being bleeped. Howard has given up arguing with Tom about the stuff they're cutting out.
Howard tried to explain what had been bleeped but he got the dump button hit again. There were a couple of other things that Howard brought up that were censored out of the show and he doesn't understand how those things can corrupt the minds of the youth. He said it seems like the show is just whittled away to nothing.
Yesterday the American public was bamboozled. This senator Brownback from Kansas, who is known for washing the feet of some of his staff members, and lives in a house paid for by a religious group, managed to get this indecency bill passed. Howard said that this guy is bad news and he thinks he's the one who wrote a bunch of letters to Mel Karmazin. He's a senator who writes letters to private business men and tries to get him thrown off the air. Howard said he piggybacked an indecency bill on the back of a Military spending bill. Howard doesn't know how that works but it seems like they do it so they won't take responsibility for voting on something like that. Senator Brownback has managed to make it possible for indecency fines to be as high as $500,000 instead of $27,500. Now if Howard says something that the FCC finds indecent, he can be fined that amount. Robin told him that the House and the Senate have to find a compromise between two bills so the fines will be somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000.
Howard said that there are companies in this country that are polluting the waters and they don't get fined anywhere near that amount but if he says something about breasts he can be fined. He also pointed out how McDonalds is making kids fat but they don't get fined. Howard said that this indecency bill will make it impossible for him to do the show. Once the President signs the bill, he's out. Howard said that nitwit Bush is the only thing standing between him and that bill. He doesn't stand a chance. The bill will make it possible for Howard to be fined as an individual, not just fines for the company that he works for.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that these bills will also make it possible for Howard to be fined as well as his company. His company can be fined up to $3 million per day. Howard pointed out that the local morning Spanish radio station is on the air cursing in Spanish every morning but they don't get fined at all. No one pays attention to that.
Tom came in so Howard asked him when he wants his resignation. Tom said he doesn't want his resignation at all. Howard changed his mind and said he will just come in and play music instead. He's not going to say a word on the air other than to introduce a record. Tom thought that was kind of amusing but Howard told him he was serious.
Dominic told Tom that the company can lose it's broadcasting license when this bill passes. Tom said that the bills still have to be reconciled so he's waiting to see that happen. Howard didn't think he should be laughing at that. Howard told Scott DePace from E! to wake up and see what his favorite President and his administration are up to. Scott came in and told Howard that if Bush signs this bill, he will not vote for him. Scott said that it is a cowardly way to get this bill passed piggybacking it on a Military bill. Scott seems to believe that Bush can still veto that part of the bill but Howard and Robin told him that won't happen.
Michael Moore's movie ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' came up so Howard talked about how much Matt Lauer went off on Moore when he interviewed him. Howard said that Lauer must be a staunch republican after hearing that interview. Howard said this indecency bill isn't even getting any attention in the news for some reason.
Howard knows that Kerry is no better on this issue but he can't be any worse than Bush. Howard said that he does have plans and he will start coming in and playing records the day that this bill is signed into law. He will play records for a year and a half more if he has to just to get through his contract with Infinity Broadcasting. He said he'll read the paper while he's there instead. Dominic told Howard that if he plays a song with a curse word in it, he can be fined for that as well. Tom said that it's the individual who utters the curse word and Howard would not be fined for playing a song with a curse word in it. Tom and Dominic argued about that for a minute but neither of them knew for sure who would be fined for something like that. Dominic said that the person who plays the song would be liable for something like that.
Howard says that he knows what he'll be doing when he does leave radio. He said that they're covered on radio and on TV. He can't go into active negotiations at this point but he does know where he's going. He said that he just needs two years and he'll turn FM radio into CB radio. If he gets taken off the air, he has a multi-dimensional deal in mind that will let him do his thing somewhere else.
Howard wondered when this bill might actually be completed. The guys talked about how they have to come up with a compromise bill first and then get it passed. Howard wanted to know how long it might take to get that done. Howard said that it doesn't really matter because his show is already done because of the way the show is being censored.
Dominic made a good point and said that if nuclear waste is being transported from Connecticut to another state and the truck crashes and spills the waste, the maximum fine is around $500,000. Now, with this bill, just uttering a curse word or something deemed indecent, they can be fined $3 million... for just saying something.
Howard called the democrats who voted for this bill a bunch of dopes because they're in effect taking him off the air and he's the only one taking a stand against the republicans. Howard said it really sucks and it really is the end of the show. It's just going to take some time to actually make that happen. Howard said that everyone expected Viacom to fire him like Clear Channel did earlier this year. That hasn't happened and people are pissed. Tom said that it'll be a bad day for the company and a bad day for free speech if this bill actually passes. Howard had to take a break after that.
John the Stutterer is trying to withdraw from the competition because it was just too much pressure on him to work there. He also figures that he's a loser because everyone was getting laid out in Las Vegas but he wasn't. Howard had John on the line to talk about that but John was stuttering up a storm. Howard told John that Artie didn't get laid out there so he shouldn't feel so bad. John told Howard that he was just feeling more lonely than usual since getting back from Las Vegas.
Howard played the ''Crazy Train'' remix featuring many of John the Stutterer's stutters as John was trying to talk to him. John said that all of that just reinforced the notion that he's a loser. He's like a kid in a candy store who doesn't have the money to buy the candy. Howard said he understand that John wants to withdraw but he doesn't want that to happen. He thought that John did a good job that week even if he doesn't have the same talents as someone like Sal or Chaunce. He said that John did his thing that week and if he wins the contest, he can hand off the job to second place or someone else if he wants.
John said that he can't handle the stress of the job but the guys had just told him that he could hand it off to someone else if he wants. Zolar (xyZolar.com) called in and told John that he could have gotten laid out there in Vegas. He introduced him to some chick who really liked him and she wasn't a hooker. John stuttered for a few seconds and howard took another call. The next caller told him that he's more of an emotional wreck than even Chaunce Hayden is. Another caller said that John is perfect for the job and he's already voted for him... even though there's not a vote going on yet. Howard told John not to deny his fans the chance to vote for him.
Howard brought in Richard Christy so he could talk to him about what he had for them today. He has a bit and a game for them to play. Richard said he was there until 3 in the afternoon yesterday so he'd have plenty of material. Howard played Richard's latest bit which was an ''Inside the Actors Studio'' parody featuring James Lipton interviewing Wendy the Retard. Howard told Richard he did a nice job on that bit.
Howard then played a game called ''What Would Tom Approve.'' He threw together a great intro featuring the Jeopardy theme song with Tom's laugh going to the music. Richard came up with a bunch of ideas for bits and he was going to ask Tom what he'd approve. He said that Tom wanted him to read a bunch of FCC findings from the past 20 years after asking him that.
Richard told Howard he came up with a bit where he'd have a couple of homeless guys come in and have one of them eat the other guy's beard. Howard guessed that Tom approved it and he was right. Richard then had an idea to have a gay guy come in and check the guys for testicular cancer. The guys all tried to guess if Tom approved it and bet on it. It was not approved.
Richard asked if he could have someone from Hemorrelief (Hemorrelief.com) come in and do a demonstration on Benjy. Howard said that Tom said yes because they're a sponsor of the show. It was not approved. Howard couldn't believe that Tom would turn that down. Tom said Benjy doesn't have hemorrhoids so that's why he turned it down.
Richard wanted to have a Gay-athalon with 3 gay athletes. Tom approved a couple of the things he wanted to do with that bit. He wanted to have the gay guys doing ''atomic sit-ups'' where the gay guy's face would end up in the ass of another man. That part was not approved. Howard had bets placed with Artie and ended up losing the bet. Howard said this gives people and idea about what he has to go through every day with Tom. Richard said this also shows what Howard could have done a year ago and can't do now.
Howard had Fred play one of Richard's KC gay song parodies and then had Richard talk about another bit he pitched to Tom. Richard wanted to have people crap and have others try to figure out whose crap it was. That one was definitely turned down and everyone knew it would be. Howard told him that it was a good bit and he enjoyed it. He also said goodbye to John the Stutterer for a couple of minutes and then went to commercial break before bringing in Nicole Richie.
Howard moved on and said he heard that Nicole is a really nice person when he's around other TV crew people but Paris Hilton isn't that nice. Nicole said that Paris is just a little shy and may come off as being bitchy. Howard was distracted by the t-shirt Benjy was wearing in the studio. He said that he had a ''Soul Plane'' shirt on and it looked like the same one he's been wearing all week. Benjy said that he has about 7 of them and he's not wearing the same one.
Howard got back to Nicole and said he heard that she said that she anted to have sex with Kobe Bryant but she said that she was just joking around when she said that. She also didn't know that she was being interviewed on live TV at the time. Howard asked Nicole about ''The Simple Life'' and how successful that is. She lucked out when Paris Hilton's sister turned down the chance to do it. Nicole said that she jumped at the chance to do it and it wasn't even like they were getting paid a lot to do it. They did it for fun.
Howard wondered about Nicole and Paris kissing all of these dudes on their show. Nicole said that she just gave the guys pecks on the cheek so it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like they were making out with them. She refused to say who her boyfriend is now when Howard asked her about that.
Howard asked Nicole about being in rehab for a while. He said she was into drinking and she was addicted to heroin for a while. He figures there was something about her life that was causing her to do that stuff. Nicole was adopted by Lionel Richie when she was 9 years old. She knows who her father and mother are even though there are a few guys who claim that they're her real father. Nicole said that her father worked with Lionel Richie years ago. Her mother raised her until she was about 3 years old. Then she ended up going to Lionel Richie and his wife. She got to live with them while her mother was working. She stayed with Lionel and his wife for years while her mother would come and visit her. She was better off living there so she eventually got adopted by them.
Nicole said that her mother was a young, single mother and it was tough for her to raise her. Howard said that she ''tried out'' the kid for 3 years and then decided she couldn't handle her so she basically gave her away. Howard said that has to bug Nicole a bit. Nicole claims that it was her choice to stay with Lionel and Brenda. She eventually had the alcohol and heroin problem. She said that Lionel and his wife broke up eventually and that kind of caused some problems. She now lives in Brenda's guest house.
Nicole told Howard how she was addicted to cocaine and downers for a while and that led to the heroin use. She said she got to hang out with older kids and they got her the alcohol and stuff. She also talked about how it took her a long time to get boobs and she claims she just got them 8 months ago. She said that she's totally shaved as well. Howard wondered if she does that herself or has her boyfriend do it for her. She said she does it herself.
Howard asked Nicole about losing her virginity. She told him that she was 18 when she finally lost it. She claims that she didn't do oral either. Howard went through that with her for a short time and asked her about her parents some more after that. She says she never acted out by having sex with guys like some kids do.
Howard said he watched the first season of ''The Simple Life'' and got upset with Nicole after seeing her throw the bottle of bleech on the pool table at the bar. She said they made it seem worse than it was with their editing but she wasn't happy about doing it either. Howard wondered how Nicole can deal with Paris and the way she acts on the show. He wondered if the two of them ever read the newspaper. Nicole said she doesn't read it herself. She said she doesn't have any real political views because she can't vote since she's a felon. She went on to tell Howard that she was arrested for possessing heroin and that's a felony. She talked about how great heroin makes you feel but didn't want to glorify it on the air. She said it eventually got pretty bad and she had to make the decision to go into rehab. She got started with the heroin when a friend offered it to her while she was wasted on some pills. Nicole said she was doing it a couple of times a day but she doesn't remember exactly how much it was or when she started buying the stuff herself.
Nicole told Howard about how her father supported her with an allowance. She's making her own money now so she doesn't need that. She told Howard that she and Paris make the same amount of money on ''The Simple Life.''
Howard read that Nicole dated Cher's son Elijah Blue but Nicole said they were just friends. Howard thought she'd gotten into a fight with another woman over him but she said that wasn't true. She got to sleep over at Cher's house and said that she's really cool. She only got to meet her a couple of times though so she didn't know her that well. Howard wanted more information about her dating the guy but she said that it's not her place to talk about the relationship because she's only half of it and she respects the other person's privacy.
Howard asked Nicole about the Stuff Magazine pictures. She said it took her about a day to shoot those pictures. She told Howard that she's been working out lately so that's why she looks the way she does in the pictures. Howard talked to her about that and then about the Paris Hilton sex video. Howard thinks that's what helped make ''The Simple Life'' as popular as it was in the first season. Now they have the second season and it's airing tonight on FOX.
Jeff the Drunk called in and asked Nicole a question but the delay was hit. Nicole talked about how her drug use and stuff like that for a short time after that. Howard took some more phone calls and let some people talk to Nicole. One guy said that Nicole sounds very normal today compared to what she sounds like on ''The Simple Life.'' He also didn't seem to like the way Howard was talking to her about her sex life and stuff like that.
Howard asked Nicole about wearing panties and if she'd ever go days wearing the same pair. She said she'll sometimes not wear them if the outfit she's wearing shows a panty line. Howard asked her if she's ever done a chick. She said that she hasn't but there's still time because she's only 22. Howard told her she should do Paris but she thinks of her as a sister so that won't happen.
Howard talked to her about her male gynecologist and if he kisses her knees when she walks in. She said that it would be weird to have a female gynecologist. Howard went on to ask her if she's ever had a one night stand. She says she hasn't and she's only had sex with like 2 guys.
Nicole talked about her rehab and how it changed her whole life. She went to a place called Sierra Tucson and how great it was. Howard asked her if she ever tried Special K when she was using drugs. She said she had done that and Ecstasy. She's also done acid but that was scary to her. Nicole told Howard that there was a therapist at rehab that liked her too much and seemed to want to keep her there longer than she needed.
Howard had to wrap up with Nicole because she had to get going. Howard gave her a couple of plugs for Stuff Magazine and ''The Simple Life 2: Road Trip'' which airs tonight. He went to commercial break after that.
Howard moved on and took a phone call from a blind guy. He was talking to him about some of the crap he's gone through so he gave him a $500 prize he had to give away.
Howard had a guy on the phone who figured out a way to put homeless people to work but there are people who think he's taking advantage of them. This guy Lonnie (BronxBob@gmail.com) was on the phone to talk about this great idea he had. He had a car broken into one time and came up with this idea to have homeless people sleep in your car to keep an eye on it. You pay them to sleep in the car and the name of the company is ''Asleep at the Wheel'' because the guys actually sleep at the wheel.
Lonnie said he charges people about $95 to hire the homeless people and then pays the homeless guys $45 or so to sleep in the car. He's got groups coming after him saying that he's taking advantage of these people. He doesn't get that though because he's putting these people to work. Lonnie has the guys take showers and then puts them in disposable jumpsuits so they don't dirty up the car. He said that the demand will be up around the upcoming conventions in the city. No one has complained so far and the cars are there in the morning so things are working just fine. Lonnie said he's only had one complaint and that was about the car stinking the morning after the guy watched his car.
Howard got back into the discussion he was having earlier about this guy Senator Brownback and how he is spending way too much time worrying about ''indecency'' on the air. Howard talked about what a ''Jesus freak'' this guy is and how he's trying to pass this bill to get people like him off the air.
Howard said that Brownback finally got his wish and got the bill passed that will probably put an end to his show as we know it. He pointed out how much money the FCC is squandering and how no one is going after the companies that are polluting water in this country. They have no problem cleaning up the airwaves though. There is nothing in the news about this bill being passed and for some reason, no news outlets are challenging it. Howard said that this guy Brownback is a lunatic and has even washed the feet of his staff members in a religious ceremony.
Howard knows that people think he's just saying that his show is coming to an end but this indecency bill is going to make it impossible for his company to support him anymore. He's already been fired by Clear Channel and the whole thing is out of control. Howard believes that President Bush is going to sign this bill and it doesn't matter that there are millions of people who enjoy the show. Bush doesn't care about that.
Howard said that he day the bill is signed into law, he's going to become a music DJ. He's going to play music and not talk. Howard doesn't know when that bill will be signed but it seems to be on a fast track to get through. While that bill was being passed by the senate, this Korean guy was being beheaded over in Iraq and Howard can't understand how these people can spend 5 minutes on indecency when stuff like that is going on.
Howard went off on Michael Powell from the FCC and how he doesn't deserve to be in that position. He said that Powell is busy in Las Vegas taking pictures with celebrities. Howard referenced a story about how the FCC blew 2 billion dollars worth of money that was supposed to be set aside for computers for schools.
Clear Channel was another subject that was brought up. Howard said he was on the phone with Eddie Van Halen yesterday and thought about asking him if they were doing Clear Channel venues. He didn't think it was fair to do that with him so he didn't bother bringing it up. He said that Chris Rock was furious about what Clear Channel did with his concert not too long ago. Howard said that the head of Clear Channel, Lowry Mays, had a brain tumor but that was recently removed. He said that if all of his fans pray, maybe they can get him another big tumor and put him out of his misery. He prayed for a minute about that and then got back to his rants about the other things going on with his show.
Howard had a guy on the phone who was upset about him talking politics again. Howard asked the guy what he's supposed to do. The caller said he's been listening since 1985 and the show is not the show anymore. Howard asked the guy what he's supposed to do. The caller said that the whole country loves him and the 10 percent of the country that doesn't like him doesn't matter. Robin and Howard told the guy he just doesn't get it. They will not be able to broadcast in the way they have been because of this new indecency law. The guy just couldn't get it through his head that he can't do the show the way he's been doing it because of the way these ''rules'' keep changing. The FCC just makes up the rules as they go along and fine him for stuff that they find ''indecent.''
The caller, Greg, complained about Howard turning the show into something that it's never been before. Greg was making no sense with his arguments. Howard asked him what he does for a living. He said he's a song writer so Howard tried to find out the name of a song that he wrote that was actually a hit. He named one song but no one had heard of it. The guy claimed that he had played for Howard and his girlfriend at a club in The Hamptons. Howard said there's no way the guy makes the $75,000 that he claims he makes. Greg swears that he does sing for a living.
Artie pointed out that this guy listens to every minute of the show so if it sounds like Howard is repeating himself, it's because he's listening to every minute of it. Most people don't listen to every minute of the show.
Howard kept trying to get through to the guy but he kept arguing that there are some fans out there who don't agree with him on his political views. Howard said that's not the point of his discussions about what's going on with his show. His show is going off the air and he's letting people know what's going on. Greg believes that if Howard's show is taken off the air, Howard is the one taking it off. Howard told the guy that it's the upcoming indecency laws that won't allow him to continue doing the show he's doing because he could be fined so much that it would bankrupt him.
Ralph called in and said that this guy is an idiot because what Howard is talking about is important and people have to know what's going on with the abuse of power in government these days. Howard said that even Tom came in and told him that it doesn't look good right now with the way things are going.
Shuli called in and said that this guy really can't be a fan of the show because he doesn't get that it's the government making the show the way it is these days. Captain Janks then called in and tried to explain to the guy that radio guys are being fined more than terrorists are these days and it makes no sense. Greg just doesn't understand that for some reason.
Tom Chuisano came in and told this guy that he was almost dead 7 years ago when he had cancer. He said that he was told not to come in at 6 in the morning anymore because there is a lot of pressure on him to do that. He has to do that again now because he's trying to help keep the station's license. He doesn't want to be there doing that but he has to because of what the FCC has been doing as far as fining them.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that this guy on the phone doesn't play at the club they were talking about. That eventually led to the guy saying that he left the place 6 months ago.
Artie still couldn't believe that the guy on the phone didn't get what was going on with the show and that he's only talking about this stuff because he's trying to get the word out to his fans before he's silenced. Howard told the guy that it's not a ''maybe'' anymore, the show is going off the air, it's just a matter of time.
Howard spent some more time trying to get through to this guy Greg but he was really thick headed and just didn't seem to grasp the concept that the show is going to be off the air because of the government's actions. Greg was finally agreeing with some of what Howard was saying but it sounded like he was just agreeing so Howard would get off his back. Howard had to go to break after that before getting to the news.
Howard moved on to comedian David Cross and asked him what he thought about that call. He didn't seem to know much about what the call was about though so Howard moved on. David wondered if Howard is going to do some pirate radio or something when the indecency laws go into effect. Howard said he's thinking about going back to college radio like his friend Meg Griffin does when she eaves regular radio.
Howard said that David Cross was trying to book a comedy thing in New York City but Clear Channel wasn't booking anything while the republican convention is in town. Cross told Howard that he's just the top domino in this whole indecency thing and other's will fall after he does. He said he hopes that people realize that. David and Howard talked about the way Clear Channel controls the music industry. They spent a minute on that and then Howard had to move on to the news. He gave David a plug for his comedy CD ''It's Not Funny'' and the FOX TV show ''Arrested Development'' that David appears in each Sunday night. Howard had Robin start her news after that.
Howard started off the show talking about what was coming up on the show today. He brought up Richard Christy, an author who would be calling in, Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper and on tomorrow's show Michael Moore.
Howard went on to talk about the indecency bill that was approved the other day and how no one really knows what's going on with it at this point. Howard said he heard from one person who said there's nothing about fines for individuals like he thought there were. Then he read somewhere else that there are fines for individuals.
Artie went to see Michael Moore's ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' yesterday so he talked about what he saw. He said that he's very uncomfortable with having Bush running the country now that he's see who Bush has dealt with and given money to. Howard asked him what he thought about President Bush just sitting there and reading to kids while the World Trade Center was being attacked. Artie gave him some slack there because no one really knew what was going on that morning. He also said that he does think that Bush is a bit of a boob. He said he does think that Michael Moore is able to swing people's views on what is going on with the Bush administration. Howard said that Moore was just trying to point out some of the bad things that Bush has done and no one else out there is doing that with the current administration. No journalists are grilling Bush and his administration about what they're up to so Moore is doing what they should be doing. Howard said it's the biggest horror film of the year and people think it's propaganda when it's really just facts that Moore is showing in this movie.
Howard said that Fred sent him a note after seeing the movie and he thought that it was a masterpiece. Fred and Artie talked about some of the stuff that Bush was saying in the movie and how disturbing they were. Gary came in and said that he was having an argument with Will who tends to swing to the right. Artie said that he does as well and explained to Howard why that is. They went through that and Howard talked about how Bush is all about giving big corporations tax reductions.
Howard asked how Scott DePace took the movie. Scott came in and said that the movie was propaganda. He explained his thoughts on the movie and how Moore left out a lot of key information about the countries who went into Iraq with the U.S. Howard and Scott were arguing about some of the stuff that was in the movie. DePace said that Moore left out some other information as well. He was arguing about the bin Laden family members being flown out of the country on the day that no one else was allowed to fly. DePace and Howard went back and forth about the bin Ladens and about how they were taken out of the country. Howard said that Bush is in bed with them and that's why he got them out of the country. He cares more about them than he does his own family according to Howard.
Howard said that DePace seems to be a brainwashed nut who doesn't get what is really going on. DePace said that the movie was very slanted and doesn't get why Howard doesn't see that himself. Artie said that they could have made the movie 10 minutes long just showing Bush's ties to the bin Ladens and that would have sealed it for him. He said the conflict of interest there shows that Bush should not be President.
Howard had to move on because he thought that Scott was insane. He was going to lead a letter from a woman who forwarded a letter from her brother who is over in Iraq. He read the letter and the guy thanks his family for the support. The soldier asked for everyone to vote for anyone but Bush this November. After reading the letter DePace said that Howard supported the war when it started. Howard said he supported it because the President had lied to all of us. Now he knows what Bush lied about and how this was all just to get back at Saddam Hussein for threatening his father's life in the first Iraqi war.
Dominic Barbara called in and brought up some stuff they were talking about earlier in the discussion. He brought up some stuff about how all flights in the country were stopped including flights that would have brought human hearts and other organs for transplants to dying people but instead, they stopped all flights except for the bin Laden family members. Howard said that things like that only go on when someone does ''favors'' for others. He said that he didn't want to say too much but the family has done favors for Bush. Scott seemed to think that someone who was dying waiting for a heart transplant could have gotten through to Bush just like the bin Laden family did.
Howard and Scott were also arguing about whether or not Bush knew there were no weapons of mass destruction over in Iraq. Howard said that Bush was told by people that there were no WMD over there but he ignored those warnings and lied to the American public about it. Scott was the only one in the studio defending the guy. Everyone else was trying to get through to him and tell him what they see going on. Robin said that Scott stopped listening to what was being said in the movie 10 seconds in. Artie said in the past 6 months we've found out that our President is nuts. DePace said that he hopes Kerry does win this year because he's sick of hearing all of this stuff already.
Ralph called in and asked Scott what he thought about Bush sitting there during the 9/11 attacks reading to kids instead of leaving the classroom to find out what's going on. DePace said that maybe Bush wasn't told exactly what was going on. Robin said that Bush was told before he went in that classroom that the first plane had hit. Then he went in and read to the kids while the second plane was heading there. DePace said that Howard sat there that day talking about Pam Anderson and didn't change subjects immediately. Howard said that he's not the President though. He and Robin did talk about what they thought it could be, an accident or terrorism. Then when they found out about the second crash, they knew it was terrorism. Bush continued to talk to the kids in the classroom for 7 minutes after that second plane hit. Howard and the rest of the crew thought that was ridiculous. Howard had to take a break after about 45 minutes of this arguing.
Robin brought up the new Spider-Man movie and heard that Roger Ebert said it may have been the best super hero movie ever. Howard said they have a screening set up for them so they'll be seeing that pretty soon.
Howard talked about his web site HowardStern.com for a couple of minutes. Artie said he's been going on there daily lately and he knows what's on the site pretty well. Howard read through some of the stuff that they have added lately. They have a link to a site that has a prayer card that soldiers can send to President Bush. Howard said they have a link to the actual addressed post card the soldiers are supposed to send to him. Howard has been complaining about Michael Powell so much about the celebrity photos on his web site that it looks like they've taken them down and put them somewhere else. Howard said they have links to those pictures on his web site so people can still see the photos that are still on the FCC server. Howard has pointed out how ridiculous it is that the guy goes around taking those pictures.
Howard said that Powell is like a teenager with those pictures because he puts them on a page called his ''scrapbook.'' He said there are hundreds of pictures of Artie morphed into other people. They have pictures of Vinnie, Robin and Howard as well there. Artie said he even reads articles on the site as well. Howard is still waiting for the bulletin board to go up over there though.
They're holding a $5,000 contest for the ''Restless, Restless'' song that Vinnie Favale from CBS and his buddy Tom Gesimondo wrote. Howard played Vinnie's version and then played some of the entries they've gotten for the contest. Howard said he liked the country version they played the other day. They got a lot of positive mail about that version of the song. Robin wasn't a fan of it but all of the guys in the studio seemed to have been impressed with what the guy did with the horrible lyrics.
Howard played some of the new entries for the ''Restless, Restless'' song contest. The first one was a rock and roll version that wasn't too bad for what the guy had to work with. The next one was a guy doing a Bob Dylan impression which wasn't too bad. After that Howard had one that was kind of an 80's Cult or Billy Idol-like version. It's a tough song to work with but some of the entries are very creative. Next up was a Beatnick version featuring bongos and finger snapping as the song was being spoken. Howard had one that was a heavy metal version. The lyrics were barely understandable which may have been the best part of the song. Howard said they may be on to something with that. Robin liked it because she couldn't understand the lyrics which she hates.
Howard played some of Fantasia Barrino's new single that just came out. Howard said her voice is good but Robin didn't think it was all that much better than anyone else out there.
Howard moved on to talk about these mash-ups that radio stations are doing now. They have one where they took a 50 Cent song and put it over a Nine Inch Nails song. Artie heard the song and said it sounds like they just ruined two good songs. Howard said he agrees and wasn't so impressed with the song. Howard told people to go to his web site to check the rules for the Vinnie Favale song contest.
KC told Howard that Richard had a great song parody but Howard and Fred weren't able to find the one he was talking about. They played some of Richard's voice mails that he left for KC as Rip Taylor, ''Harry Man-Ass,'' Ryan Seacrest and others. He goofed on KC about being gay in each of the calls. Each one of his impressions sounds exactly the same but the guys seem to find them all funny. All of the calls are about the phony gay vacations that KC goes on. Howard had to take a break before bringing in Richard's wack pack member, Skip Skiffington.
Howard had Rob Schneider on the line and he wants him to fly to Amsterdam to shoot a part for his new Deuce Bigalow movie. Howard said his agent thought that he shouldn't do the movie though so he's not going to do it. Rob said that they're smoking some hash out there in Amsterdam while they're doing pre-production stuff for the movie. Howard asked Rob what the movie is about. Rob said that someone is killing man whores and Deuce has to go over to Amsterdam to find out what's going on. They're still working on what to call the movie. He said that they may call it ''Deuce Bigalow: Passion of the Man Whore'' or something like that.
Howard told Rob that he wants to play a big part. He doesn't want to play himself again. Rob told Howard about a character called Giancarlo. Howard did an Italian impression and said he'd love to play a man whore. Rob told him to read the script and if he wants to play that part, he can have it.
Rob told Howard to tell Richard Roeper to get his head out of Ebert's ass. He said that those two didn't give his first ''Deuce Bigalow'' movie and went off on them about that. Rob said that he thinks that Roger Ebert is a big bully and he thinks he's a big star for some reason. Howard asked him to call back in when those two are in so he can talk to them. Rob said he'd do that because he's not a big fan. Howard told Rob that he would read his script and let him know about the movie. They also spent a couple of minutes talking about their fun out in Vegas last month. Rob was there to judge the Miss Butterface contest and had a lot of fun.
Howard let Rob go and spent a little more time talking about Ebert and Roeper. Howard wanted to have this guy Vincent Gallo on the show because he actually wished cancer on Gene Siskel years ago and the guy actually ended up getting it. Ebert didn't want to deal with that in his interview so they had to cancel the guy. Howard talked about some of the people he's wished cancer and other things on over the years. His latest prayers are for Lowry Mays of Clear Channel to get cancer.
Artie talked about a movie role he had many years ago where he played the part of a Russian hitman. He did the accent for a little while but by the end of the shoot he was just talking like a guy from Jersey. Howard said he'd try to do the accent in Rob's movie if he takes the part.
Howard pointed out how Bill Clinton's book is getting a lot of press about how it's the biggest selling book in a long time but he seems to think they're leaving out his fastest selling book ''Miss America.'' Howard said people like to forget about him for some reason.
A woman called in and told Howard about how Clear Channel has a mission statement on their web site that talks about how loyal they are to their employees. She also told Howard that when you fill out a form on the FCC web site you have to give a lot of personal information and people are afraid of them these days. Howard said you can send them an anonymous letter if you want and you don't really have to give your real name on the web site if you aren't comfortable doing that.
Howard asked Richard what's so weird about this guy. Richard said that he went through some shock treatments in the 80's and used to complain about the headaches he'd get afterward. Howard didn't think he was all that weird though so he played some of Skip's music. The first song had no instruments. He also put together a version of Vinnie Favale's ''Restless, Restless'' song that wasn't all that weird either.
Zolar (xyZolar.com) called in and said that this guy Richard Christy is a one trick pony and he's just a copy of Dan the Song Parody Man. He said that there were some funny things that Richard did but he's just got one thing he does well.
Howard didn't really want to talk to Skip anymore because he didn't find him funny. Skip had some thoughts on some wacky stuff but Howard didn't seem to care. He ended up talking about other things instead. Robin and Artie were talking about the movie previews they saw at the ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' movie preview yesterday. They said you've never heard of any of these movies that they were promoting and they couldn't even remember the names of them. Artie and Robin were goofing on those for a couple of minutes. Howard even got in on it and threw in some funny lines making up the movies that could have been promoted in those previews.
Howard took some phone calls after that. A guy called in and said that Richard Christy sucks. He repeated that over and over again for a few seconds. A woman called in and said that she was so pissed about what she heard Howard talking about with the FCC and all that she registered to vote yesterday so she can vote for someone other than Bush in November. Howard told Richard he thinks he's doing a good job and thanked him for bringing in Skip Skiffington. He went to commercial break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who told him that he's going to miss the show when it gets taken off the air. Howard talked about how much the public loves his show. That led to Howard talking about the FCC and all of that stuff again as he's been doing daily now. He went off on the FCC, Bush and all of that for a short time and told people to check out all of the stuff on his web site that explains it all.
Howard moved on to some lighter stuff after that. Wendy the Retard left a voice mail for them and it sounded like she was drunk when he called. She was rambling about the FCC and telling them to kiss her mother f'n ass and stuff like that. Howard said that's what alcohol does to a person. Wendy called back and left another message apologizing for the previous message about the FCC. She said she went overboard with that call. Gary came in and said that the calls were only 2 minutes apart which was really weird.
Ebert told Howard about the salivary gland cancer he had and how he thinks it came from the radiation treatments he got when he was younger. Ebert's voice sounded different today so Howard asked him what was up with that. Ebert said the radiation treatments for the cancer are what caused him to get a dry mouth thing going and he's also been talking a lot lately so he's kind of horse.
Richard Roeper has been defending Howard in articles he's been writing lately so Howard brought that up and wondered why he's like one of the only guys defending him. Roeper went off on this Senator Brownback who says that these indecency laws are what the country wants. Roeper doesn't know why he's saying that because he doesn't think that's the case. Ebert talked about how that everyone who voted for that indecency thing was voting against the country and against freedom of speech.
Rob Schneider was on the line to say that Ebert is a bully and Roeper lives in fear of Ebert. Rob said he doesn't think that Ebert got laid a lot in high school. Ebert said when he graduated high school, in 1960, not many kids were getting laid in high school. He said that's just not the case. Rob said that his movies are funny and Ebert slams his stuff all the time. Ebert wanted to know of any well known critic who gives him good reviews. Rob said the guy at the NY Times likes his stuff. Howard said that he thinks ''Deuce Bigalow'' was one of the funniest comedies ever. Roger said that he doesn't even remember ''Deuce Bigalow.'' Roeper said he wasn't around with Ebert back then and didn't review the movie. He said he actually liked Deuce.
Rob and Roger went back and forth a little bit. Ebert was defending some of his reviews and said that this won't affect his next review of one of Rob's movies. He said that he will just say what he thinks about the next movie. Howard let Rob go after that.
Howard told Ebert about what the movie is supposed to be about but Roger didn't seem to think it was very funny. He doesn't think that the Man Whore thing is all that funny.
Howard brought up this guy who wished cancer on Roger at one point. Roger said that he already had cancer when the guy wished it upon him. He said he's always liked Vincent Gallo and gave him a good review on at least one of his movies. He talked about one movie that got a bad review and got really low ratings when it was judged in some competition. Howard defended Vincent and said that he has wished cancer on some of his enemies as well. He told the guys about how he wished cancer on Lowry Mays (from Clear Channel) just yesterday. That led to Howard and Ebert talking about satellite radio and how Ebert is going to get that in his next car. Howard said satellite radio will only become big when he moves to it. Ebert said that is probably the case and he'll do for satellite what Lawrence Welk did for ABC.
Ebert told Howard that he wrote an Op-Ed piece defending Howard where he talked about how the only people who are offended by his show are the people who are listening just to be offended so they can push their right wing agenda on people.
Howard moved on and asked the guys about what they thought about ''Spider-Man 2.'' They both sounded very impressed by the effects and the story in the movie. They also talked about ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' and why it got an R rating. Ebert said there is some violent stuff in the movie. They talked about how ridiculous the ratings are for movies because every kid has heard every curse word already and they can get on the internet and see the beheadings that are going on out there.
Ebert said he didn't watch the beheadings because it was just too brutal for him. Roeper said he has seen them all so far and he watches them so he knows what's going on out there. That led to the guys talking about what's going on with the FCC, the indecency bill and all of that stuff. Ebert said that it's chilling the way the FCC is going back 3 years to find stuff to fine Howard over. He said that when this indecency bill gets signed into law, he'll have to go off the air because they will start fining him for stuff from 3 years ago and it will bankrupt him and maybe the company he works for.
Ebert was talking about how insane this Senator Brownback sounds talking about how the country wants people like Howard off the air. You'd think that everyone in the country had health care and a job. Howard wondered why every senator but 1 went along with the bill that was just passed the other day. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that before Howard got back to movie discussions.
Howard talked to the guys about ''Alien vs. Predator'' and how the Alien better win in that movie because it just makes more sense than Predator winning. Howard also asked the guys about who they think the top man and woman are in the movies these days. They think that Julia Roberts and Tom Cruise are still the top box office draws.
Howard wondered what the new Batman will be like. Ebert said that he wishes they'd make one of those movies in the spirit of the Spider-Man movies. Roeper said that Peter Parker has a lot going on in his life and it makes for an interesting character, unlike Bruce Wayne, who is kind of boring.
Ebert and Roeper both liked ''The Passion of the Christ'' so Howard talked to them about that for a short time. Ebert said that it wasn't anti-semitic to him because, if you are Christian, you believe that Jesus was sent here to die. If he wasn't killed he would have had to have committed suicide.
Howard spent a couple more minutes with the guys and gave them some plugs for their books. Roger's book ''Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2004'' and Richard's book ''Hollywood Urban Legends: The Truth Behind All Those Delightfully Persistent Myths of Films, Television, and Music'' were both mentioned.
Howard also said that Richard Roeper came in and did a good job taking over for Gene Siskel. He didn't think he was going to be able to fill his shoes but he has done a good job so far. Howard asked the guys one last question about who has the bigger penis. Neither of them knew because they hadn't seen each other's penis. Ebert told a story about Milton Berle and another actor who bet on who had the biggest schlong. Howard had to wrap up the interview after that quick story.
Robin wondered if Howard had a step-sister like that, if he would ever do something like that. Howard said he would do her if something like that happened. It's just a hot chick living at his dad's house who's there to bang. The guy on the line said that the girls and him all ended up in a hot tub together. The friend of the step-sister was in the tub with him alone for a while and that's when he started going at it with her. His step sister and her cousin came in and caught them. That's when the girls started doing stuff in front of him and he was able to bang all three of them. Howard told the guy not to feel bad about that and to try and do it every day if he can.
Robin wondered if he told his family about that stuff. Howard said the guy wouldn't do that and the caller said that he's not falling in love with them, he's just having sex with them. Robin said that they will be in family situations eventually and it might get awkward when the guy brings a girlfriend to a gathering where his step-sister is. The caller wasn't sure what was hotter, him banging the chicks or watching the three girls getting it on with each other. Howard told him that it was him banging the girls.
The caller said that all of the girls were hot latino women but the best friend was the hottest of the three. Howard asked the guy when he was born and he wasn't able to come up with a year. The story fell apart when the guy wasn't able to do the math and said he was actually born in 1978. He swore that the girls were 18 and the story was true otherwise. Howard hung up on him a short time later.
Howard had a few more things to get to after that. He had the Top 5 songs in the country. He threw in some goofy songs in the mix to have some fun. The songs he threw in were from a kid's tape where they sing about wiping and using the potty. He also threw in some of Richard Christy's KC song parodies and a Flashdance parody featuring farts and queefs. The real Top 5 included artists like Alicia Keys, Mario Wynans, Usher and Hoobastank. He had Robin start her news after playing that stuff.
Scott DePace came in again and told Howard that he's heard that a nuclear power plant would stand up to the impact of a plane crashing into it. Fred said that the World Trade Center was supposed to withstand the impact of a jet but they didn't. DePace said that's because they took the asbestos out of the building.
Howard saw that Fred's 19 month old daughter Tess and his wife Allison were there so they came in a short time later. Howard thought Tess looked like Allison but Robin thought she looked like Fred. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Allison and watching Tess react positively to Fred. Howard said he never thought he'd see the day that a kid said ''Hi daddy!'' She smiled when she saw Fred in there and pointed to him like she really likes him. Fred went over and held Tess himself. Fred said he thought it was against the law for him to have a kid. They spent a couple of minutes with the two of them and then moved on. Allison said she just dropped in as a surprise because she was in the area this morning.
Howard still couldn't believe that Fred is a father. He remembered back to when he first met Fred and what a mess he was back then. He never thought he'd see him with a wife and kid. He's now living a human lifestyle unlike his martian lifestyle from years ago. Howard had Robin get back to her news after that.
Howard passed off his breakfast toast to Artie as he does most mornings. The two of them talked about how hard it is to get to sleep early during the summer. Howard had to pleasure himself to the Tera Patrick DVD ''Tera Tera Tera.'' He said he just leaves the DVD in his bedroom player so he can start it from where it was left off. He likes the part where Tera and Savanna are getting it on with each other. He said he thinks that Savanna was able to have the ''big O'' when she was with Tera too.
Howard said that there's a porn tape featuring one of the girls from Survivor, Jenna Lewis, that was let out. He said the tape is kind of weird and Jenna is out promoting it. Howard said it seems like these people are releasing the tapes on purpose. Howard and Gary talked about how the quality of the tape is a little too good to be a normal home video. Howard said that Jenna's boobs aren't that good and they're almost like fried eggs. They look ''real'' according to Gary. She also needs to do some squats in the gym to work out her ass according to Howard. KC got in on it and said that she's out of proportion and her body looks a little odd.
Howard went out to eat with Ralph yesterday because Beth was out of town. He said they went to check out some chicks and there were no hot ones out there. Artie said he's seen a ton of hot chicks when he's driving down 5th avenue lately. Howard said they always look hot when you're in the car but when you get out, they're not. Howard talked about one 35 year old chick who came up to him yesterday and said that he looks much better in person. Howard said she was too old for him though because he doesn't date people that old.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling in from Florida. He said he's driving 200 miles just to see Artie down in Boca Raton, Florida tonight. Artie said that they're not on in that market down there anymore so the Fort Myers station is going to bus people in. Artie said it's him, Rev. Bob Levy and KC Armstrong. He's not flying down with KC though. Artie said that tonight's show is sold out but they used to do like 5 shows and sell each one out. Now that they're not on down there, they don't seem to be able to do that. He said it'll be interesting to find out what happens.
Howard said that ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' opened early in New York and Los Angeles and it's doing record numbers at the box office. Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) called in a minute later and told Howard that he went to see ''Spider-Man 2'' last night. Howard wondered why he wasn't invited to that. Chaunce told him he wouldn't have wanted to go because it was a bunch of regular people. Chaunce loved the movie and said that he's not even into comic book characters. He said that the script was good and the special effects were great as well. He said he was sucked in from beginning to end of the movie. Howard said that they should stick to that franchise for the next 20 years. Chaunce said it was much better than the first one in his opinion.
Chaunce was talking about how great the villain was in the movie. Howard said it's Doc Oc and went on to talk about how cool comic books are. He feels like it's his whole childhood coming to life now because he spent so much time reading comic books when he was a kid. Chaunce said that people loved Beetlejuice's sister on last night's E! show. That led to Howard talking about how Chaunce gets upset about other people when they do good in this ''Get John's Job'' competition.
Chaunce said that Howard sold this guy Richard Christy way too early on in the week. Gary told Chaunce that he sold him because he had material that he'd sent in before and that's what Howard was giving him compliments on. Chaunce also told Howard that he should have given Rev. Bob Levy his 5th day. Howard said he thinks he saved Bob by not playing his tape on the last day because the quality of tape he had (Hear it yourself at KingMegaSite.com). He said it was almost unlistenable. Howard told Chaunce that he was being a baby about everything. Fred threw in a baby crying sound effect in the background. A listener called in and said that Chaunce won't win this competition because he's got nothing on the other people. Howard bailed out on that caller a minute later.
Howard said that the voting for the ''Get John's Job'' competition starts on Monday morning at 6am and ends on Wednesday at midnight. They'll know the winner by Thursday. Chaunce seems to think that there are people who are very upset about what's been going on with the competition. Chaunce wouldn't say who it was that he knows is upset because he didn't want to throw them under the bus. Chaunce said that there are employees who are upset about the contest as well as the competitors. Howard said that when Chaunce does stuff like this, it always turns out that he doesn't have anything. Chaunce told Howard that people are pissed that he sold Richard Christy so much on his first day. Howard and Gary called Chaunce a crying bitch and he just complains about all of this stuff. Chaunce said he's not a crying bitch and he's just talking about what other people are upset about. Howard wants Gary to get Chaunce a sun dress to wear when he comes in next week for the end of the contest.
Chaunce was saying that he doesn't care what people think but he was the one crying about people hating him when he was in for the ''Get John's Job'' thing a few weeks ago. Howard said that if he manages to pull this out and wins, he's going to have a nice dress to wear. The guys were trying to find out who is upset about this contest but Chaunce wasn't talking. He swears that there are people around Howard who are upset about this whole week with Richard Christy. Chaunce didn't want to give up the names though. Howard was telling Chaunce that he told him that he was good that week but he doesn't seem to remember that.
Chaunce asked Howard if he thinks that Richard is good on the air with that accent of his and his demeanor. Howard said that every one of the people they have in this contest has strengths and weaknesses. Chaunce has good interviewing skills and Richard does great song parodies. Howard said that he thinks Richard is funny and that's all he's been saying this week. Howard said that Chaunce seems to be bashing Richard because his own production stuff wasn't that strong.
A listener called in and said that he agrees with Chaunce because the first day Richard came in he was talking about how he would hire them that day if he could. Howard said he said the same thing about Sal the Stockbroker (HorseToothJackass.com). He said he'd also hire Dan the Song Parody Man (SongParodyMan.com). Chaunce told him he has to cool off on his opinions because his fans are like sheep and they'll vote for the person he backs. Howard told him not to tell him how to do his job because he's going to do what he wants. He wants someone on the show who will please the audience and Chaunce isn't pleasing them today by doing this stuff.
Ralph called in and told Howard that Richard's songs are classics and he deserves the job because he's interesting. Ralph made some comments about Chaunce's voice being annoying while Richard's is kind of interesting. Howard played a song parody about Chaunce being a whining bitch that Richard Christy threw together. Ralph also said that Chaunce doesn't deserve the job because he bad mouthed Scores one time. Chaunce was calling Ralph a big homo because he walks a poodle but Ralph didn't know what he was talking about. Ralph goofed on Chaunce about the magazine he writes for and said he was going to pull his bad hair plugs out. The two of them went at each other for a couple of minutes.
Chaunce was offering to fight Ralph but Ralph said he wouldn't waste any time on him. Gary said that Ralph is fit while Chaunce is dough-y. He seems to think that Ralph could beat him in a fight. Howard said that Chaunce is coming in dressed in a dress next week because he's such a whining bitch. Chaunce kept going on and on about how so many people are upset about how Howard has treated Richard this week. Howard had to wrap up the conversation a short time after that so he could take a commercial break.
Howard moved on to this guy Jacob Weisberg who has written a book of things that President Bush says that are sometimes wacky or just plain stupid things. Jacob told Howard about some of the ''Bushisms'' that he likes. He read some of the quotes that are his favorites. He said that he seems to have a problem processing words sometimes and says some funny stuff. Jacob gave Howard a couple of the quotes that he has in his book like:
Howard wanted to do all of this on Wednesday of next week but he's not sure who will show up. He brought up the name of the director they were goofing on earlier. Howard said he'll do interviews in the Viacom building and then go down to either the Clear Channel building or find an FCC building to make this announcement. He said he thinks this announcement is fairly significant but wouldn't say what it was about.
Howard said he thought about all of that stuff and decided that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to do it out on the street. He has decided to cancel all of these plans because it was all too cryptic and forced so he's not going to do it now. He wasn't comfortable doing it and it all seemed a little too self-serving. He may just make the announcement in front of his building but that wouldn't mean anything. He then decided that maybe he'll just have some Scores girls in the studio instead.
Howard moved on to talk about this Telly award that they won for the E! show. Howard was wondering if the award has any significant meaning though. He had never heard of the award but this award show has apparently been around for 25 years. He read a letter about the awards and how you can find out more about them at TellyAwards.com sometime in the next couple of weeks. They don't disclose their judges names and the judging sounds kind of odd. Howard read the rules he had in this letter and all Howard could do was laugh. He had to take another break a short time after that.
Howard and Artie talked about how the Lingerie chicks are different than the regular models. They even separate them out at the mansion for some reason. Kevin said there is a pecking order there and everyone wants to be a Playmate. Howard said that there's even a pecking order at strip clubs with the strippers. He and Ralph talked some experiences they've had at strip clubs.
Kevin talked about how they evaluate women and what he'd be looking for with someone who wants to be checked out. He said that they have had all kinds of women trying to get in the magazine and some of them are a joke.
Kevin is married to a woman who appeared in one of the magazines. He said she was in a 1991 issue of the magazine and her name is Kerry Kendall. Howard asked him how they hooked up. He said he was friends with her for like 11 years. Kevin said she's great and she's the funniest person. Howard and Ralph told him that she's going to age though and he shouldn't have married her.
Kevin said that he doesn't remember ever getting any of the Polaroids that Howard takes when they do evaluations. Kevin then told Howard that he is there to officially deputize Howard to be the Official East Coast Photo Editor for the magazine. He gave a photo loop to evaluate the film and also gave him a plaque for his door with the Playboy bunny ears for Howard to use when he does a casting session. Ralph was trying to horn in on Howard's action but Howard wanted no part of that.
Howard got to see some pictures of Kevin's wife Kerry Kendall. He talked to him about that for a minute and then Gary said that Robin once said that she might pose for the magazine if she lost enough weight. Robin said that they can't come up with enough money for that. Howard wondered if Kerry's boobs were real. Kevin said that they are real so that blew the guys away.
Howard had to move on to the evaluation. He said that the girl, Jillian Grace, is 18 years old and just graduated high school. Her mother actually wrote in and asked to have her come in for the evaluation. The mother came in a short time later and spoke to Howard for a minute. He told her that Kevin is the guy who makes the decisions so he's the man. Mom said she encourages her daughter to go for it while she can if she can get in with a company like Playboy because they would take care of her. She said she will not go to Penthouse or any magazines like that if she does not get the Playboy deal.
Kevin said that she does not have to get naked today because it's just the first stage of the whole thing. Mom said that she will support her daughter in this even though her husband, Jillian's step-father, isn't a big supporter of it. Howard told Mom that a lot of women come in and think they're hot enough for the magazine but they really aren't. He was warning her that she might get turned down and hopes that she can take it emotionally.
KC came in and told Howard that Gary is supposed to wear a mask when a hot chick comes in the studio. Gary thought they weren't going to do that but he put it on anyway. KC was laughing his ass off when he saw the mask on. They then brought in the hot chick, Jillian. She just got out of high school this year. She wasn't dressed in a bathing suit or anything like Howard wanted. She was going to have to go get changed. Gary didn't know why they didn't have her set up for this segment. KC said she was wearing a bra but she had a bathing suit to get into. Gary said he thought she had it on already. Kevin said that she had a very cute face. Ralph said the outfit was really bad though. He also said he thought that Mom had a better face than her daughter. Kevin said he thought Jillian's face was very cute though and wanted to see her in a bathing suit.
Kevin wanted to see her proportion, shape and tone. Howard said that his penis told him she's got something. She came back out with her bathing suit on a few seconds later. KC said she moved up like 5 notches. Howard and the guys were talking about her body while Mom was still in the studio. Mom said that she has been living with guys staring at her for the past 5 years and she's used to the looks and stuff.
Howard let Kevin give his opinion on her. He said that he would offer her a test, definitely. They will even fly her out to Chicago and shoot some pictures of her. He was trying to find some weak points on her and wasn't able to find any. KC wondered if he needed to see her ''bags'' first before bringing her to Chicago. Jillian said that she's a 36-C and Artie yelled out that she's perfect. Ralph thought she needed to lose a few pounds and tone up a little bit. She's ''almost there'' according to Ralph. He pointed out some stuff with his laser pointer. Her bathing suit was tight and her ass was a little loose according to him. Kevin said that they could take pictures of her tomorrow and make her Playmate.
KC said that her hamstrings were a little loose as well. The guys saw that and then found out that she just had ankle surgery a few months ago so she hasn't been able to work out. She had nice hands according to the guys. Artie said that she's the hottest chick they've ever had in for an evaluation. Kevin liked her look and thought she had a very natural look.
Howard said he would like to see her top come off and asked Mom if that was okay. It was up to Jillian according to her mother. Howard asked her to do it and asked for a quick look. Kevin told her mother that he was glad to see her there supporting her daughter because a lot of people wouldn't do that.
Jillian took her top off a few seconds later and everyone was saying that they were perfect. Howard told Mom that her daughter had nice boobs. Ralph was impressed that her boobs didn't move and they're natural. Mom said this wasn't the easiest thing she's ever done but it wasn't all that bad. Howard said he can't wait to see this girl naked in Playboy.
The guys spent a couple more minutes talking to Jillian before wrapping up the segment. Howard asked her what her turn-ons were. She likes guys with a sense of humor. Artie said ''No you don't!'' and said he'll be getting loaded in Boca Raton in about 10 hours. He also reminded everyone that he did a Playboy shoot where he was the photographer.
Jillian got in a plug for her web site (which crashed seconds later) JillianGrace.net where she sells a calendar and some other stuff. Artie warned her to let them know if someone comes up and asks her ''Have you ever heard of The Simpsons?'' (referring to Sam Simon). Artie also thinks that her 19 year old boyfriend is going to be standing on a bridge somewhere with a rock tied to his ankle once she leaves him. He was going nuts talking about all of the guys who will probably want to bang her if she gets in the magazine. Howard asked her if she'd ever do any chicks. She said she's never thought about doing that. Artie kept making more references to guys who are going to come on to her once she becomes a Playmate.
All of the guys were impressed with Jillian. Howard was starting to wrap up the interview but took some phone calls. One guy called in and said he can't wait to pleasure himself to her layout. Howard gave Kevin a plug for Playboy magazine and got ready to go to break. KC pointed out that Gary was about to pass out in his welders mask. He was ready to pass out standing there in the mask. He said they'll have to go for the beekeeper's mask next time. Howard went to commercial break after that.
Howard changed subjects again and brought up this Fox and Friends segment that aired recently where they interviewed Senator Brownback who sponsored the indecency bill that was just passed. Howard said he's never heard such nonsense with fellow broadcasters congratulating the guy on the win. Brownback was talking about how this great for the American public because it's their airwaves that they're taking back. Howard said if it's the people's airwaves, then why don't we have any say in what goes on them. He can't believe that the guy on Fox and Friends is congratulating the guy on taking away freedom of speech.
Howard brought up how Brownback has washed the feet of his staff to be more Jesus-like. He wondered why the idiots on the show weren't bringing up how this guy is part of a religious group called The Fellowship and stuff like that. Howard had enough of that and brought tin Michael Moore.
Howard has been promoting Michael Moore's movie ''Fahrenheit 9/11'' lately and gave him a standing ovation when he came in. He said the movie brought him to tears when he saw it. He also said it was the scariest movie of the year. There have been a lot of people fighting to keep the movie out of the theaters but it is out there now. Howard told him that he can use him in any way he wants to promote the film. Howard said that he has one idea for him. Everyone that goes to see the movie saves their ticket and sends it in to him for a drawing. They'll pick like 75 guys to go to a Scores party with Howard and the rest of the crew. Michael asked if he could go as well. Ralph told him he has to win by entering just like everyone else.
Moore told Howard that he thinks it's a great idea and he'll go there to shake everyone's hand... on their way in, not on their way out. Ralph also told Howard that it was a great idea so he's going to work on making that happen. He said he'll talk to his General Manager about how they can do that. Howard will make it available to anyone in the country who goes to see the movie.
Robin told Michael that she took 16 people with her to go see the movie and they had a great time seeing it. Howard gave Michael a plug for his web site Fahrenheit911.com and said that like 15 percent of the traffic going to the site is coming from his web site HowardStern.com.
Howard talked about how Moore's movie is not just a documentary, they managed to make it an interesting story as well. Howard said that even Bush supporters could go see it and get some enjoyment out of it.
Moore told Howard about the problems they've had with the movie and how they had a signed deal to distribute the movie but they backed out after coming under pressure from some people. Moore said that Disney got scared after seeing the movie and backed out of the distribution deal. Howard told Moore that Clear Channel dumped him after he came out against Bush and it was obvious that it was all politically based.
Michael Moore said he has not been allowed to say certain things on network TV so he was going to say it there on his show. Moore said that there's a chunk of the movie where they talk about Bush and the bin Laden family being in bed together. There has been a lot of money passed between them. Moore went on to talk about how Bush got the bin Laden family out of the country the day after 9/11 while no one else was allowed to fly. Moore said that there was a plane flying a heart to a guy dying somewhere in the country that was forced down even though that was it's only cargo. Moore was bringing all of that up before getting to his point about the Saudi royal family. They own 23 percent of Euro Disney. They wrote a check to Michael Eisner for $360 million years ago and helped save Disney. This is also linked to the Carlisle Group which is brought up in the movie as well. All of this is public record and he's just telling people about it. That's what he has not been allowed to talk about on network TV for some reason.
Moore also pointed out that the TV networks out there didn't bother to ask Bush and his administration for proof that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq before they went in. Back when Kennedy was telling the public about the Cuban Missile Crisis, he showed pictures of the missiles and let people know there was proof.
Michael talked about the Fox and Friends thing that Howard was talking about earlier. He said there was an incident on FOX the night before the Super Bowl. Geraldo Rivera and Bill O'Reilly were having a discussion and O'Reilly said something about how if this were the old west, someone would put a bullet in Al Franken's head. Moore wondered where the FCC is in that because it's like suggested that someone go and do that. The night after the Super Bowl O'Reilly said something about how he's against he death penalty and then says that he'd like to kill Michael Moore. Moore was just pointing out what hypocrites they are over there at FOX.
Howard gave Michael another plug for the movie and then took some phone calls. A woman called in and thanked Moore for everything he's doing. Howard then went on to talk about how he thinks that his show is basically over already and he had a big meeting with Robin, Fred and Artie yesterday about that. He said that the country is getting scary and there is going to be a draft. He said people have to ask themselves if they support a war where we're in a country that had no weapons of mass destruction and they were threat.
Howard was gung ho to go to war in Iraq back when Bush was saying that there were WMD over in Iraq. Now he realizes that the guy was not telling the truth and that's why he's come out against the guy lately. Moore is sure that's what all of this Clear Channel and FCC stuff is based on. He doesn't think that it has anything to do with the language on the show. Moore said it wasn't until Howard came out and started talking about how Bush was lying to them about this stuff that all of this started to really come down on him.
Howard said that nothing happens to people in government who screw things up but they're able to fine him ridiculous amounts of money for just talking. Howard said that if the government forces Moore to stop advertising the movie because it could be considered a politically financed advertisement, he will advertise the movie every day for free for him.
Moore told Howard that Quentin Tarantino told him that he is going to vote for the first time this year because of his movie. Moore said that means a lot to him. Howard took some more phone calls and let some people talk to Moore.
Debbie Schlussel (DebbieSchlussel.com) called in and said that Moore lies about a lot of little things in the movie. She pointed out something about how the Saudi embassy is the only one with Secret Service protection. Moore said that he wasn't the one who said it, it was a Secret Service guy who came up to him and told him about it. Moore said that he did some research into it and found that there are 6 Secret Service guys who guard Bandar Bush and he's the only ambassador who has that kind of protection.
Debbie was asking a bunch of other questions about the movie and confronting Moore on some of the stuff he brought up in the movie. Moore defended himself and had arguments for the stuff she was bringing up and Howard was standing behind him in the stuff. Ralph also brought up the part of the movie where Bush sits in a classroom reading to kids while the planes were crashing into the World Trade Center not knowing what to do because he didn't have his people around him.
Moore said he stands behind all of our troops who are willing to give up their lives for this country fighting over in Iraq. He said that the war is not necessary but he does support the troops and gets letters from some of them about how they need another commander in chief. Howard gets letters like that himself from soldiers over there in Iraq. Howard had to wrap up the segment shortly after talking about that. You can find out where Fahrenheit 9/11 is playing by visiting F911Tix.com.
Richard threw in some gay dance music behind it just for effect. He asked Rick about how the photo shoot went that day and how KC acted there. Rick said he was very professional that day. He didn't need any makeup that day, all they did was spray some glistening spray on him. KC said they did add some shadow under his boobs and abs. Howard asked if they used a brush or their hands. KC said they used their finger to rub the pencil in on him. Howard and Artie said that's gay to them. Rick said that KC did do some pumping up that day right there in the studio.
Richard asked how KC was groomed that day. Rick said that KC was groomed well but his hair was a little too short, he would have liked it a little longer. Rick was also the one who suggested that KC unbutton his pants. Rick said that they were trying to sell sex during that shoot so that's why they had him unbutton his pants.
Richard asked if there were any girls on set that day and if KC ignored them. Rick said there were no girls on set. Howard and the guys were goofing on KC about all of that because it seemed so gay to them. KC said his girlfriend was with him that day but Richard heard that she just dropped him off and left.
Howard took some calls after the interview and let some people talk about how good Richard was this week. One guy said that he's good and Chaunce had nothing on him. A woman called in and said that Richard is boring and should find a radio station down south where he'll fit in. The woman said that Stern fans want to hear different stuff every day, not the same old thing. She thought it was the same pattern for him. Ralph defended the guy and thought he was good this week.
Gary came in and said that Will was warned that the people calling in might be trying to get through to bad mouth the guy. They were lying about what they really wanted to talk about on the air. The woman denied ever doing that but Gary said she was one who lied about what she was going to talk about.
Richard had a few other things that Tom either denied or accepted as ideas for the show. He said that he asked Tom things like...
Howard had Mike start his game a short time later. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories: