Howard also spoke to Kathy about her relationship with Brooke Shields for a couple of minutes. This segment didn't last all that long since Kathy had quite a bit of air time during the previous segment.
Howard was wrapping things up when he said that he had clips from the Britney Spears ''Diary'' show from MTV. He played some of the clips and goofed on them with Kathy.
Howard wrapped up the interview with Kathy and ''Big Foot'' Matt who was still sitting in. Kathy has a bunch of upcoming appearances on HBO and on the ABC TV show ''Whose Line Is It Anyway'' with Drew Carey.
Bernie told Howard that he's not always the Bernie you see on camera. He has an act just like Howard does and when he's off camera, he's a different guy. He hasn't had the easiest life either. He was called names by other black kids as a child because his skin was so dark. He spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Bernie also talked about how he lived in a 3 bedroom house with a total of 13 people. Most of them died at young ages and none of them are left now. He told Howard he doesn't have any family to share his accomplishments with. He does have a wife of 25 years but that relationship hasn't been easy either. Bernie said he was on the road 48 weeks a year for 13 years or so. He and his wife have cheated on each other and have gone through not speaking to each other. He said now they're over that stuff and they're best friends.
Bernie told Howard how his mother had cancer for 7 years and never told her kids about it. He said he looks back on that situation and sees that it was a very brave thing for her to do. He didn't see it that way when he was a kid though. Bernie also shared some of the other stories of death in his family with Howard. Howard asked him if he feels like a jinx in any way because so many people in his life have died. Bernie doesn't feel that way at all. He doesn't pity himself either. He's just enjoying what he has.
Howard asked Bernie about how he got started doing stand-up comedy in the subways and parks of Chicago. Bernie said he'd read the news in the morning and go on the subway and do some comedy for commuters. He wouldn't ask for money but he did have a little box that people would fill with cash. He said he could make $500 a day doing that. After 4 or 5 years he decided he wanted to be recognized for this work and started doing this stuff in comedy clubs. He said he even did some comedy at his grandfather's funeral. He said everyone was so sad. He went up in front of the people there and did an impression of his grandfather that got everyone in a more upbeat mood. He said he got a lot of positive phone calls after doing that.
Howard asked Bernie about working with Martin Lawrence in this movie ''What's the Worst That Could Happen''. Martin is ''going through something'' according to Bernie that's making him a little crazy. Bernie thinks it's got to do with Los Angeles and how everything a celebrity does becomes public knowledge. That'll drive anyone crazy. Howard mentioned Eddie Murphy's alleged foot fetish as an example. Bernie started to defend Eddie saying ''Hey, that's my man... Not literally of course...''
Bernie also spoke a little bit about Danny Devito who he said is a great guy. He's working on some kind of project with Danny too. Bernie also mentioned that he'll play a con-man in the movie ''Oceans Eleven'' which also stars Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and many others. He said all of those people were great also.
As Howard was wrapping up the segment he took a couple of very positive phone calls for Bernie. One guy told Bernie not to sell out and become politically correct with this new sitcom he has coming out. He told Bernie that he's really funny just the way he is. Bernie says he's really not a TV guy and he's going to keep doing his comedy no matter what. He'll be touring next year.
Howard also tried asking Greg about his sexual habits but Greg was trying to keep some of that quiet. At one point Howard asked him when he had anal sex last but he wouldn't give him an answer. You can find out more about the gay cologne at 10Percent.com
Howard found out that Megan has a boyfriend and she told him that he's a dirt bike mechanic. She also told Howard that she has brought home women for him to mess around with.
After talking to her for a few minutes Howard offered her the chance to play the wheel of sex. Howard told her he'd give her 5 plugs for whatever she's plugging. He had a bunch of things on a wheel that she had to spin and whatever it landed on she had to do. Those things included stuff like:
Howard had Megan's (almost) sister-in-law Amanda come in to spin the wheel of sex too. Megan said she was thinking of seducing her so Howard wanted to check her out. He spoke to her for a couple of minutes and then had her spin the wheel of sex. She didn't hesitate a second to spin the wheel. It ended up on the same thing as Megan got. Howard had her spin it a few more times and it kept coming up on the same thing. It finally ended up on the bagels and cream cheese section. Howard sent Amanda off to the bathroom to get changed. She came back out and they smeared the cream cheese on her ass. Howard said she had a nice ass as he was putting the cheese on. When he was done Howard threw the first bagel. He got a perfect shot according to everyone in the studio. The bagels were all sticking to her ass as they threw them. After the fun Howard had Megan and Amanda kissing each other. There was some tongue involved according to Artie who yelled out ''Tongue!'' as they kissed. Howard questioned the two of them for a while and tried to find out what they really do together. Megan didn't want her boyfriend Keith to leave her so she wasn't talking much. They admitted that they sleep in the same bed together naked but they wouldn't say what else they do. Howard then had them make out with each other again before ending the interview.
Later in the show Howard announced that this segment will air on E! tonight and tomorrow night at 11pm.
When Jennifer came in (dressed in a bathing suit) Howard broke the news to her that she's not nearly as hot as Megan Mason. He said Jennifer is good looking but not on the level with Megan. He wouldn't give her number on a scale of 1 to 10 though. Howard spent a few minutes talking to the 23 year old and found out her breasts are two different sizes, that's why she wants the implants. Howard told her he'd give them to her and had Dr. Sal Calabro (SalCalabro.com) on the phone to ask him if he'd be willing to do the work. Of course Dr. Calabro is always happy to give away free implants so she's all set.
Howard told Jennifer about the Wheel of Sex and everything that was on it...
Howard thinks Gary has given up a lot since he got married. He used to get tons of women and now he's stuck taking care of his kids. Howard was feeling bad for him and said he missed the old Gary. Howard had to take a break so Gary got a plug in real quick for his appearance up in Boston.
John has been part of Howard's show since 1988 so this is going to be quite a change for him. It may be a sign of things to come for others on the show since Howard has been threatening to leave radio when his current radio contract is up in less than 2 years. John may just be the first person to find a job outside of the Stern Show in anticipation of Howard possibly bailing out.
Howard and the crew are on vacation all this week so we haven't been able to hear Howard's thoughts on all of this. From what I've read so far, it sounds like Howard isn't upset at all and is actually happy for John. Read some of the articles here:
Howard said he saw the Pink ''Diary'' on MTV and thought that her childhood was pretty messed up. Howard spent some time on that subject and found out her father was a Vietnam Vet. Her parents broke up when she was 7 or 8. She lived with her mother for a while but she was always in trouble.
Howard said Gary thought Pink was a lesbian but she said she's not. She told Howard she once played a game of spin the bottle and she kissed Christina Aguilera but that was it. She has a boyfriend now who's a Freestyle Motocross dude by the name of Carey Hart. She didn't want to give out his whole name but once she gave a couple of details Stuttering John did some research and found out his full name. All of the guys made fun of her dating motocross rider for a while.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone to play the game but something else came up that was more interesting to him. He'd asked Pink how long it takes for a guy to get in her pants. She told him it takes a long time and it could be 6 or 7 months before the guy gets sex. Howard ended up talking to her about that for a while and found out that Carey hasn't gotten any yet. Howard asked her if she at least gives the guy oral but she wouldn't give an answer to that question. She said that she doesn't like to get really emotional, like she does when she's having sex, until she really gets to know a guy. Howard told her that's like torture for a guy. She said she'll even sleep with the guy and not have sex with him. She said some guys can do that without wanting sex. Howard told her no guy can do that, it's just no possible.
After a really long interview Howard moved on to play the game so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Pink before wrapping up the very long interview. Pink's new album ''Missundaztood'' is available now.
The first thing they had Fred think was that he was in a love triangle with Howard and Robin. Paul did his hocus pocus and brought him out by saying ''Eyes open, wide awake, wakie, wakie...'' as he's done many times in the past. Howard then went on to tell Fred that he was sleeping with Robin at the same time as he was. Fred told Howard that he has been seeing her since 1981 or so since they met. Howard said he was also sleeping with her and they argued about it for a couple of minutes.
Howard then had Paul put Fred under again. This time they had Fred take on the personality of Jackie. Paul told Fred that he would take on both physical and psychological characteristics of Jackie that he remembers. ''Eyes open, wide awake, wakie, wakie'' Paul said as he brought him out. Fred then went on to do an impression of Jackie that he's never done before. He wasn't as hyper as usual and he actually had discussions as if he was Jackie. Howard and Robin asked him why he left the show and stuff like that. Howard said he was even taking on the facial characteristics that Jackie has. ''Jackie'' said that now that he's not on the show he's going to go around and dust individual houses. Howard had him sing a little bit of his ''Pot Song'' but ''Jackie'' said he forgot the words because he's so old. Fred started laughing at himself sometimes.
Howard had Paul put him under again so they could try something else. They talked about it and settled on having him become Robin. Paul did his thing again and out he came as Robin. He took on the Robin accent and spoke to Howard for a short time. He got confused when he saw the real Robin so Howard told him it was a Robin impersonator.
Howard then had Paul make Fred become Howard. As soon as Fred came out of it he turned his back on Howard and looked at Robin. He tried to ignore Howard, who was supposed to be Fred, but he didn't have control of the microphone. He kept telling ''Fred'' to turn off his mike so he could have Robin do the news.
Howard took some phone calls and people told him it was a really funny bit. A few people don't believe in it but it really was funny. Ralph called in and said it was funny and suggested that Fred become Stuttering John. They did that quickly but there wasn't much material. It sounded like replays of a bunch of ''Best Of'' shows with the arguments they had.
Fred then became Gary for a short time. Once again, it sounded like old shows being replayed. Paul then turned Fred into a Martian. He spoke in babble that no one could understand. He was able to sing a little bit in english though. The only words you could understand were ''I can't believe I am what I am''. He said he has sex through his ear on Mars.
Next up was Crazy Cabbie. Fred became Cabbie for a short time and did a pretty good impression of him as they talked about his tattoos and stuff like that.
Howard was done with Fred so they took him out of the hypnosis. Fred said it was a great feeling and he really wasn't just ''acting''. He didn't have time to get into more detail.
Someone asked Paul if he ever hypnotizes celebrities. Paul said he actually does hypnotize some celebs. He said a few months ago he hypnotized Darryl Hannah so that she wouldn't have stage fright. He said it worked for her. He didn't mention any other celebrity names though. Even if you don't believe in the hypnosis thing, the segment was funny.
While they were telling this story Howard kept saying that he wanted to let the girls tell the story because it was their story to tell. At first Howard's girl Beth didn't want to be on the air. Rebecca called in and told her side of the story which pretty much matched what John had said. Beth eventually came on the air for the first time ever. She was very nervous and uncomfortable but she told her side also. Both Rebecca and John kept saying that the night was very innocent and fun. There was no sex or lesbian kissing going on like some people were starting to think. Stuttering John and KC both thought that's what was being left out of the story but they all insisted that didn't happen. Howard didn't slow dance with Rebecca like some people thought. It was just fun dancing... in their underwear! Robin sounded like she didn't believe we were getting the whole story. She also seems to think that Howard was leaving something out of the story. Howard, John, Rebecca and Beth said that they really didn't do anything else.
Beth said she did get a little jealous when Howard was dancing with Rebecca but they're still together to this day. The longer she was on the phone the more uncomfortable she got. On a couple of occasions she wanted to bail on the call and just go do something else but Howard was able to keep her on a little longer. She eventually got freaked out too much and got off the phone. It seems like there was something being left out of the conversation that she didn't want to talk about but that might not be the case.
Howard had to wrap up the conversation because it had taken up so much of the show by this point. Rebecca kept asking Howard if he wanted to hang out this weekend. Howard said he hadn't spoken to John since that weekend because he thought that he was a swinger. John and Rebecca kept revealing stuff about Howard that even he didn't remember from that weekend so it really was a great segment. Gary came in at one point and said that it was probably the most fascinating story ever heard on the show. I know I was glued to the radio for the whole thing.
The John Stamos thing was still a major subject of discussion so Jimmy couldn't get a word in for quite a while. Howard and the crew were still discussing the whole thing and a bunch of people called in with their thoughts on the story. Howard kept saying that it really was a non-story and he didn't know what the big deal was. People like King of all Blacks and Vinnie Favale called in with their thoughts. King told Howard he knows where he was coming from and he would have done the same thing that Howard did. Vinnie has a whole other theory on what actually happened. He told Howard what he thought actually happened but Howard said he told everyone what happened and it wasn't the way Vinnie described it. Ralph was also on the phone again to talk about it even more. He said he thinks Howard could have made something else happen but he didn't want to for some reason. Howard said that he's a conservative guy and Beth is also conservative so they wouldn't have done anything no matter what... especially with the good looking John Stamos in the room.
While Vinnie Favale was on the phone a couple of people made fun of him for the way he eats. Stuttering John, KC and Ralph all had stories about how he ''eats like a fat guy'' when they take him out to eat. They goofed on him about that for a few minutes but Vinnie just kept bringing up Howard's story.
Howard tried to get away from his story for a while so he got back to Jimmy. Jimmy then told a story about the time he and his buddy Adam Carolla were on the show a few weeks ago. After the show they gave Howard their cell phone numbers. Howard ended up calling Adam one day and Jimmy was in the room with him at the time. Jimmy claims that he heard Howard say something like ''... no offense to Jimmy but...'' so Jimmy thought that Howard liked Adam more than him. Howard said this was just a bad day for him. He said those two guys work together on everything and he wasn't sure which one to call first about a project he had in mind. He just happened to pick Adam's number first. He ended up calling Jimmy 10 minutes later anyway. Jimmy said that was true but it was a very long 10 minute wait for him. Howard said those two guys are like a married couple because they're always together. Howard moved on to talk about the Hugh Hefner Roast for a few minutes. Howard was at the roast and said that he hopes they leave in some of the good stuff that he saw but they've cut it down from 3 hours to 1 hour. Howard said he doesn't understand why Comedy Central doesn't just run the whole thing all the way through. Jimmy said he had a reason and just said ''Tommy Davidson.'' Apparently he performed some songs for Hefner and they might have gone on a little long.
Once again another segment was running quite long so Howard had to bring the fun to an end so he could take a break. The John Stamos Story had taken up a good 2 hours of the show by this point.
Howard let a bunch of phone callers yell at him. Everyone that called in agreed that the guy was crazy. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and went nuts on the guy. She brought up the World Trade Center attacks because she lost someone she knew. The Professor said that he believes that we brought the ''wrath of God'' on ourselves here because of our sins of lust. To Mariann it sounded like he condoned the attacks. He said he didn't but we did bring them on because of our women. Mariann went nuts again yelling at the guy about the women she knew who died in the attacks. It didn't faze the Professor though. He's got some group called R.E.S.P.E.C.T. going but he doesn't have a web site or phone number to call at this point. He also refused to tell Howard where he works as an Anthropology Professor.