Howard moved on to talk to Alyson Hannigan for a couple of minutes about her character on ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' and whether or not she's a lesbian in real life. Alyson said she's straight and the other lesbian on the show is also straight in real life.
Howard then spoke to Natasha Lyonne for a few short minutes. He wasn't even sure if he'd seen her in the first ''American Pie.'' Natasha jokingly said she's not even sure if she's in either one. Natasha also claims that she was offered the part of Buffy in ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' when she was 16 years old but Alyson said that a lot of people claim the same thing. Natasha was also bitching and complaining about boyfriends she's had and how they ran off with other women. That was pretty interesting.
Earlier in the show Steve the Intern said he'd be willing to do anything to meet Tara Reid. Howard made him get his hand peed on by KC and he actually did it. Steve came in and read a really bizarre poem he'd written for Tara which sounded like it was a comedy bit instead of a serious poem. Howard got to watch KC pissing on Steve's hand because the E! guys actually got it on tape. They all laughed hysterically as they watched that on the monitor. Howard only spent about a half hour or so with the girls before wrapping up the interview.
Howard also pointed out how pissed Vinnie got about the ''David E. Letterman'' bit Howard did last week. Vinnie thinks that people thought it was really Dave and Howard should have made it clearer that it wasn't the real David Letterman who was doing racial jokes. Howard replayed some of that segment and Vinnie was still pissed. The guy that did the Letterman voice is amazing and sounds a lot like the real thing.
Howard wrapped up the segment and as they went out Joe made some comment about Vinnie being a ''company bitch'' or something like that. At least Joe is willing to let his real feelings out about this guy. He's not afraid to stand up for his hit show.
Howard also told Jerri that he didn't like the ''artistic'' pictures she did for Playboy. He told her she needs to be more sensuous and not do ''nudie pictures'' that don't turn guys on. Howard said there was one picture in there that he actually liked where she's sitting on a rock.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for her and one guy was making like he was ''rubbing one out'' while he was looking at her pictures. He kept going for about 5 full minutes so Howard put him on hold and got back to him a couple of minutes after the initial call. He was still going by the end of the interview. Howard was impressed with his stamina.
During the interview Ringo just wanted to get some plugs in for his album but Vinnie Favale kept asking dumb questions and inserting his own answers like he knew more than Ringo knows about himself. Ringo actually said he doesn't hate anyone but he was quickly learning how to the more Vinnie spoke.
Howard brought in another big fan of The Beatles, Andre. Andre is the guy who hits the delay button on Howard when he says something that might be considered ''dirty'' by the FCC. Howard was going to have a trivia contest between them but after a couple of questions Ringo was done with it. He just came in to promote his album and that's all he wanted to do. Howard kicked Andre out of the studio and wrapped up the interview a short time later. You can find out more about Ringo and his tour at RingoTour.com
To test Beetlejuice's memory Howard brought in 3 women, one of which was Arden Myrin, his co-star in the movie. Beetle claimed that he had sex with all three of the women who came in. Howard had Beetle pick the one he thought was his co-star and he actually picked the right one!
Howard spoke to Arden for a couple of minutes about her career. She's been in a couple of other movies including ''Constructing Harry'' and ''What Women Want.''
Arden said when she met Beetlejuice on the set she was warned not to be ''too nice'' to him because he might flash her. She said all of the women on the set got that warning. She said in one scene Beetle grabbed a hand full of her breast when he wasn't supposed to. Arden also shared other stories about him acting weird on the set of the movie. He's not an easy guy to work with according to Arden. She said they had to have a guy feeding Beetlejuice his lines during the filming. He also forgot to hump someone's leg in one scene so the actor had to shake his leg and tell Beetle to ''hump my leg'' to remind him of what he was supposed to do.
Howard reminded us that months ago when they shot behind-the-scenes stuff with Beetle he was very depressed and upset that he was away from home. Beetle didn't seem to remember that and said that the tears he shed were all fake tears.
Beetlejuice had a fight scene with Vern Troyer, the guy who played Mini-Me in the ''Austin Powers'' movie, and Arden said he was very gentle. She said Beetle was afraid of hurting Vern so he was very careful during the fight shoot. Beet said he just had no reason to want to hurt the little guy.
Howard said that Arden wasn't wearing a bra this morning and her breasts looked very nice in the outfit she was wearing. Beetle was one of the few lucky guys who have copped a feel of those breasts.
Howard got a phone call from a guy who said Beetlejuice got kicked off an airplane because he was sitting in first class when he wasn't supposed to be there. Howard had to get Beetlejuice's manager Sean in to talk about the situation. Sean said he tried to get upgraded to first class but they wouldn't let him purchase the upgrade tickets. The one flight attendant told Sean in a very rude way to listen to what another person told him and just get into his seat in coach. Sean said he told Beetle that she was just being a bitch and tried to move him back to their seats. The flight attendant heard the ''bitch'' reference and told them they weren't getting on the plane. She then called the cops on them and had them removed from the airplane.
Howard wrapped up the interview and said that you can find out more about Beetlejuice and where he'll be appearing at JollyDwarf.com. He also said he had to thank the two other women who claimed to be Arden at the beginning of the segment, Missy and Tammy. We also learned from Sean that there's a Beetlejuice action figure coming out in December of this year. We should hear more about that when it actually comes out.
Speaking of busts, Jessica Hahn called in to talk about how much fun Playmates like to have. She heard this woman's story and told Howard that when she's gone to the Playboy mansion she's seen how the Playmates just love to have fun for one night and move on. Jessica also told Howard that she slept with Hugh Hefner when she hung out at the mansion about 10 years ago. She told Howard how Hef comforted her and how nice his skin was. She also said he was very good in bed.
Howard said Freddie wasn't going to do his show but Howard complained that he actually likes the movies Freddie has done so he wanted him to come in. Freddie came in and his hair was all gone. He said he had to shave it because he'd been bleaching it blond for the ''Scooby Doo'' movie he was working on and it made a mess out of his hair.
Howard said that Freddie has a ''no nudity'' clause in his contract so he'll never appear naked in a movie. In this new movie, he has a body double who they used for ass shots. Freddie said that one guy quit the job because his friends were goofing on him so they replaced him with a guy who had a bigger ass. So in the movie you'll see two different asses in place of Freddie's real ass.
Howard brought up the fact that Freddie is dating Sarah Michelle Gellar and spoke to him about that for a few minutes. Freddie said they're actually engaged but he wouldn't give Howard a wedding date. Howard wondered if she's going to become ''Sarah Michelle Prinze Jr.'' Freddie said she may take the Prinze last name but not the Jr. part.
Howard and Freddie also talked about Freddie's father and how he found out about what happened to him. Freddie said his uncle ended up giving him all of the details of his father's too-short life after kids in school told him his father was a ''...junkie who shot himself in the head.'' Freddie claims that he's never even touched a drug himself because his life is great without them.
Howard couldn't get off the marriage thing and he tried to talk Freddie out of doing it. Freddie said he's going to get married and Howard can't change his mind. Howard thinks he'll come crawling back to him in 10 years or so and admit that it was a bad idea to get married. Freddie said he hadn't really thought about a pre-nuptial agreement until Howard mentioned it today. Sarah has plenty of money herself so they might have to sign one for her safety. She's got a big Maybelline makeup deal which was apparently record breaking for a makeup model.
Freddie told Howard that he gets $2 million per movie now and that's plenty for him. He said he doesn't strive to be a ''$20 Million man'' in the movies because he makes plenty as it is. He told Howard he's invested in comic books. He's spent a lot of money on rare comic books which have gone up in value since he bought them.
Freddie is so into comic books that he really wanted the part of ''Spider-Man'' in the upcoming movie. But he didn't get it.
Freddie told Howard when he and his previous girlfriend of three and a half years broke up he gave her a bunch of money so she wouldn't have to worry about anything. He said he had tons of money so he had no problem doing that for her. That's why he and Sarah shouldn't have a problem with a pre-nuptial.
Howard was still trying to tell Freddie that it's a bad idea to get married. He asked Freddie who he thinks of when he pleasures himself. He claims it's Sarah but Howard doesn't believe it. Howard also said he had ''...five words for you... Billy Joel. He dropped Christie Brinkley...'' Five more words ''Tom Cruise'' who dropped Nicole Kidman. Freddie kept saying that Sarah is really hot and he thinks their marriage will be great. Howard was just trying to help.
Howard thinks Freddie's new movie will do well and he brought up some of the other movies he's been in. Howard said he loved ''She's All That.'' Robin said Howard wouldn't shut up about that movie after he saw it. Howard wrapped up the interview without taking any phone calls.
''Gene'' told Howard that the latest KISS product is the KISS toilet which will be a pay toilet and ''Gene'' himself will come out to collect the money from you every month. He said there will also be a ''KISS Douche'' on sale soon also.
Jessica Hahn called in and said she was unable to tell the difference between the two ''Genes'' on the radio. She said she's met the real Gene a few times and she thinks they might have had sex but she wasn't so sure they wanted to talk about that. She eventually said she gave Gene oral sex. Howard filled Gene in on Jessica's current situation. She's not married but she's got a rich guy supporting her. She hooked up with the creator of ''Married with Children'' and he's got her in an apartment. They screw each other but live in separate homes. They spent a few minutes on that subject before Jessica got off the phone.
''Gene'' told Howard that another great KISS concept is the KISS Kondo which will be a whole gated community of KISS fans. He said that they wondered how they could get even more money out of the KISS fans and the KISS Kondo community was the idea. ''Gene'' also said there's a ''KISS Kids Klub, KKK'' where kids can collect nickles and dimes until they get $10 and then send it in for a genuine KISS photo.
For some reason Gene pulled out his wallet and Howard noticed it was full of cash. Howard made him count it and he had $5,621 in checks and cash and a fake $1 million bill that Howard couldn't figure out.
Howard took a few phone calls for Gene and one guy said there was some party for Gene last night that he was at last night. Gene said it was a surprise party for the release of his new magazine ''Gene Simmons Tongue.'' This was the real ene talking about this by the way. He said the magazine will be a cross between Playboy, Rolling Stone and Maxim magazines. On the cover will be a celebrity with their tongue out like Gene does in his act. Everything in the magazine will reference tongues.
Gene also hosted the Miss Nude USA Pageant last weekend and it'll be airing on HBO in the near future. Gene said that the contest was full of young strippers and nudists. He said there are 20 winners out of 150 contestants or something like that.
The real Gene Simmons cut off his long hair and Howard wanted to know why he did it. Gene said he got an acting job that he can't talk about and that's why he cut off the hair. He said he's done it in the past so it wasn't a big deal to him.
Missy, a woman claiming that she finds women for Gene to have sex with, came in quickly to talk to Howard. Gene wasn't so sure about her claims but he let her talk about it. She had a friend of hers with her who was supposed to be Gene's next woman. The friend said she wasn't aware that she was supposed to sleep with him though. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that but not before ''Gene'' told everyone about the KISS bank account. He said now you don't have to worry about not spending enough of your paycheck on KISS merchandise. They automatically deduct 10% of your deposits out of your account and it goes directly to KISS.
You can find out more about KISS merchandise at KISSOnline.com
Katherine, who is about 30 years younger than Sal, told Howard that they still have sex quite often. She said she calls Sal ''Long Tongue'' or ''Tongue Fu'' because he's so good in bed. Sal said they have sex ''almost every day... almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday...''
Sal told a couple of stories about his son and said hello to his 4 daughters and a couple of other people before Howard wrapped up the call. Howard found out that Al only comes to see his father about once a year. Howard put the word out to Al that if it weren't for his father's sperm he wouldn't be on this earth so he should start calling his father more often. He demanded that Al call his father at least 2 times a week.
Howard also mentioned that Richard Simmons, who does this ''Silver Foxes'' work out video was too much of a pussy to come on the show himself to promote it.
Gary pointed out that she has ''crazy eyes'' and Howard said she was making all kinds of weird, mental-patient looking faces the whole time she was in there. Poor Jonathan had to listen to her insult him. Howard eventually kicked Melissa out of the studio because she backed out of everything she agreed to. Howard even suggested that the two of them just go out on a date and just get drunk together. She refused to even do that so he kicked her out. She apparently went out in the hall and started crying so Howard had to bring her back in to find out what the hell was going on. Jonathan, on the other hand, was wondering how come the woman thought that he'd insulted her during the interview. She'd said that he insulted her but all he said was that she was good looking.
Gary came in and said that Melissa thought Jonathan looked like a ventriloquist's dummy and it just totally freaked her out. Howard had Jonathan hide in the back with Fred and Benjy while he tried to talk to Melissa. She was all upset and freaked out by Jonathan's look so she just kept repeating ''Oh my God, oh my God'' over and over again. She said she could never be drunk enough to sleep with him.
Howard got rid of Melissa because she was so freaked out and then tried to tell Jonathan she was just a bad example of a listener willing to help out. Howard said that she may have been a little too hot to start off with. They need to start with someone a little chubbier than her. They're going to keep trying for Jonathan and they were already getting more calls from women... well, one woman anyway. A 39 year old woman called in and said she was willing to meet the guy next week so we'll be hearing more about Jonathan in the near future.
Surprisingly Jonathan said that he'd have to get back to this woman tonight or later this week because he had to get back to work. Howard told him to call in and let his boss know what he's got going on and just get it done already. He said he'd give it a try but he doesn't want to piss off his boss. Howard gave the guy a plug just so he'd be a little more forgiving. You can check out AutoBrake.com to support Jonathan's job.
Howard let Ashley's fiance Dylan come in to talk to him for a couple of minutes. He doesn't have a problem with her letting this guy screw his woman. Ashley said she doesn't need any emotional attachment to Jonathan to screw him. She's just doing it to make him feel good for a day. Howard questioned Ashley about her fiance and found out she doesn't know all that much about him. She wasn't sure of what his age was or what he does for a job but she's known him for 5 years. She said she knows his job but not exactly what he does. She was off by a year on his age too. Dylan said she initially lied to him about her age. She was only 16 when they met but she said she was 19. Now they're ready to get married but he's going to let her screw a guy to get it out of her system. We'll be hearing more about this story as soon as Jonathan gets the job done. He let everyone know that he has a very small penis too. He said he's actually kind of small for his size... which is only 4'11''.
After a commercial break Howard said he thinks that Ashley looked like Reese Witherspoon or Alicia Silverstone. Somewhere in that range.
Howard brought in Ashley's fiance Dylan who is fine with all of this stuff. Dylan said he was hanging out on the balcony of the hotel room while his 21 year old fiance was letting Jonathan screw her. He said after Jonathan was done he came out on the balcony but stayed on the other end. Dylan said that he had to tell Jonathan he wasn't mad at him and it was okay to come down and hang out with him. Howard asked Dylan if he's from another planet or something because of the way he's treating the whole situation.
Jonathan got to plug his place of work before Howard finally wrapped up the segment. He works at Automotive Brake in Newburg and you can visit their web site at AutoBrake.com
Darrell said he got the job on the show after sending in a tape of his stand-up act where he did just one line as Bill Clinton. Lorne Michaels called him in to show off his talent and he did a bunch of Phil Donohue bits in different languages. He demonstrated that for Howard and it was really funny.
Darrell also told Howard how he got to hang out with the real President Clinton when Clinton invited him over to write a bit that the two of them could do together for the press. He said Clinton likes to invade your personal space and touch you a lot and he gets away with it. He shared a few of the behind-the-scenes stories he had about Clinton.
Darrell did some of his other impressions for Howard including Jay Leno, Regis Philbin, Jesse Jackson and Barney Fife.
Howard changed subjects and asked Darrell about how he figured out that he was abused as a young child. Darrell said he repressed the thoughts as he grew up but after he had his own child he started to remember stuff that ended up breaking him apart from his parents. He said he didn't want his baby to see someone telling his wife to shut up and he told his parents that and it all started to come out that he was abused. He's now in therapy 2 days a week to straighten himself out. He didn't want to say too much about the type of abuse he suffered as a child. He did say that he's in therapy for abuse that could be considered criminal. He also said that his parents told him that if he or his sister saw people in their rooms at night, they were ghosts. He said his sister would scream at night saying that there were ghosts in her room and to this day she still believes they were ghosts. Darrell knows better than that and has tried talking to his sister but she's sticking to her story. He said he's having a nice life now but he just doesn't have any family to share it with. Howard thought it was pretty sad but Darrell said it really wasn't because he has a beautiful baby and a great job.
Howard ended the segment after about a half hour and said that Darrell will be appearing at Carolines Comedy Club in New York today through Sunday. Visit Carolines.com for more info.