Howard had her strip down for him and he said she had a smokin' body. Her breasts are real but they're a bit small according to her. She said she doesn't want implants at this time but it's possible that when she gets older she might need them.
Gary came in and told Howard that while he was watching her on his monitor she was really hot and her accent wasn't that bad. But when he turned away and couldn't see her the accent got really annoying. By the time Howard was ready to wrap things up he'd agreed to let her spank him. She did that real quick shortly before he took a commercial break. You can check out Rebecca at MarksFriggin.com Archives reads:
Gary came in and read part of the letter that this guy wrote to the show about his sister. In it he said something about how they wanted to have kids together but they can't. Then the sister says that she's got 3 kids but they're not with her brother. He's their uncle! That's one of the reasons she wants the implants. She thinks they sag after having the 3 kids and wants them lifted.
The sister says that she now has to drive home 2 and a half hours with her brother and he's no longer going to be allowed in her home. She said he's not even going to be ''Uncle Alex'' anymore.
Alex stuck with his story for a little while but eventually admitted he did it all just to get on the show. He gave a few shout-outs to his buddies at Airborne Express in Pottstown, Pennsylvania.
Howard did have the sister take down her top so he could see just how bad the breasts were. He and Gary both agreed that they're fine and she could dance with them just the way they are.
After Howard was interrupted with the news of Bill dropping out of the ''Mitts on a Misfit'' game he had to wrap up the phony incest thing. The brother was way too annoying and unfunny to keep it going.
Ian Hunter from Mott the Hoople came in to promote his new album ''Rant'' which is out now. Ian and a few of his band mates came in and spoke to Howard for a couple of minutes before performing a live acoustic version of ''All the Young Dudes'' for Howard. Ian and the guys played a shortened version of the song and even Howard sang a line or two.
Howard spent a little bit of time talking about how David Bowie gave these guys the song ''All the Young Dudes'' just because he was a fan of the band. It went on to be a huge success for the band.
The guys went on to play a song off of their ''Rant'' album called ''Washes Away'' which sounded better than the other song. Howard talked to the guys for another few seconds and plugged Ian's web site IanHunter.com before wrapping up the interview after about 15 minutes.
Howard spent most of the short interview talking to Murray about his bag and all of the famous women he's dated. Murray told Howard that he was a comedian and a club owner and when times were tough he decided to do the Gong Show. When he did that he didn't want anyone to know that he was on the show so that's where the paper bag thing started.
Howard asked Murray about some of the people he didn't like in the business. The two names that came up were Sonny Bono and Billy Crystal. Murray worked on the ''Sonny and Cher'' show back when that was on and he says that Sonny was a real prick. He was very arrogant. Billy Crystal is the same way according to Murray. Howard agrees with him of course.
Murray also talked about his 2 failed marriages which lasted from 3 months to one and a half years. He has two kids out of those two disasters though.
Murray talked about how David Letterman started his career at his club. He said he knew Letterman would be huge someday. Howard also found out that Murray dated Jay Leno's wife before they were married. He went out with her after meeting her at a comedy club. He also dated Jay's ex-girlfriend just recently. Howard then went on to ask Murray about some of the famous women he's dated such as Lucy Arnaz, Debra Winger, Deidra Hall and a couple of others. Howard kept asking Murray ''was she a good lay?'' about a couple of the women but Murray would just keep talking about other stuff and ignore the question. It was actually kind of funny.
Murray also did a bunch of his one-liners that he used to do in his act which Howard found pretty funny. Howard wrapped up the interview in about 20 minutes for some reason.
Howard ended up talking to the kids for quite a while about how great it must be to have Ozzy as a father. Kelly, who said she's almost 17, is driving around in a Mercedes Benz SUV after getting rid of her PT Cruiser because she felt it was too ''unsafe'' for her. Jack, 15, is scouting for bands for Epic Records and he's putting together his own record label with a partner. Ozzy also told Howard that his other daughter, Amy, is working on her own singing career and she's got a great voice. He was amazed the first time he heard her sing on a recording that someone played for him.
Every time Ozzy is on Howard estimates Ozzy's worth and tells the kids how they'll be inheriting the mother load when Ozzy is gone. The kids don't really seem to think much about it though. Jack says he wants to do everything on his own and doesn't want to take his father's money. Howard said it's still nice to have that cushion just in case things don't work out for him. Howard said that he's probably got trusts set up for them that will set them for life.
Ozzy said he has sex discussions with his kids because his father never did that for him. He says it's a different time now and things are much crazier than when he was a kid. He said the kids hate to hear it but he does it to be a good parent. Howard said he wants to do the same for his 18 year old but she doesn't want to hear it from him. Howard said he wanted to discuss how great committed relationships are and that if all she wants is an orgasm, he'll buy her a vibrator.
Howard was under the impression that Ozzy would head home to England when his kids were grown up but Ozzy says things have changed over there. He says he's not going to move back home after seeing how much it's changed.
This woman Janice came in to meet Ozzy this morning. She claims that she's been a fan half her life and Ozzy actually saved her father's life. She explained how her father had a kidney transplant and after he came home he was unable to get any rest. He loved her Ozzy albums so she loaned them to him and he was able to relax to his music somehow. Howard joked that Ozzy's music has healing powers or something. Gary came in and said he saw a picture of Janice's room from when she was 16 and she had Ozzy posters all over her room and even over her bed. Howard asked her if she ''touched herself'' while laying in bed to Ozzy's image. She told him that was a possibility.
Howard took a bunch of phone calls from fans and one woman brought up a recent show down in West Palm Beach. Ozzy quickly remembered the woman after she described the situation. He'd given her a harmonica for some reason. She was amazed that he remembered her and Ozzy said the reason he remembered her was because she had ''big knockers''. That embarrassed his kids of course. Howard wrapped up the interview after talking to Ozzy about the time he snorted ants off of a popsicle stick when he was hanging out with Tommy Lee one time. He said he did it because he was stoned and the ants came crawling out of his mouth.
Monica continued to complain about AJ and how she didn't even think that this was a ''date''. She thought it was going to be a friendly kind of dinner or something. She said that she's most upset about AJ talking about their date on the air a few weeks ago. Howard and AJ both said that he didn't mention her name so no one would even know who they were talking about. She said all of her friends know that they dated that one time and what he said was negative. All he said was that he went on a date with a woman who brought her baby and it turned out to be pretty good after he got over the fact that the baby was there. That's not so negative.
Monica refused to talk about the father of the baby and she kept repeating the fact that she takes care of her own baby. AJ knows that it's a famous guy but he doesn't have a name. She wouldn't say anything about the father at all. Howard wondered why she had the baby at all. He asked her why she didn't have an abortion and even AJ said that wasn't a nice thing to ask her.
Some phone callers think that she's got a gag order and that's why she won't talk about the father of her baby. She said nothing like that is going on. Other callers think she got pregnant on purpose so she could get famous. She denies that also. We then found out that she was on camera for this interview. She was complaining about AJ talking about her anonymously and then she agrees to be videotaped for the show. That didn't make much sense. She said it wasn't her idea... but she agreed to do it anyway. Howard never did get why she was calling in. She just kept saying that she wanted to talk to AJ about the whole thing and how rude it was for him to talk about her on the air. Even though he never mentioned her name?
Howard talked to Michelle a little bit about how she got into the business but then accidentally found out that she may have been in a romantic relationship with her movie co-star Vin Diesel. Howard ended up spending most of the segment talking to her about that whole thing but she was kind of secretive about whether or not they actually had sex. She said that they're ''totally hanging out'' with each other now and they got to be good friends on the set of ''The Fast and the Furious''. Howard tried his best to find out if and when they had sex for the first time but Michelle kept quiet about all of that.
Mike Walker called in to play his game and he told Howard he did a good job getting as much info out of Michelle about her relationship with Vin. Howard thinks that the story will be showing up in the National Enquirer in the near future.
Howard eventually moved on to play the game with Mike and the rest of the crew. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spent a few more minutes with Michelle talking about the movie and taking phone calls. The callers were upsetting Michelle once in a while so Howard had to hit the delay when she'd curse at them. She was mixing it up with the callers pretty good though. Howard told her she was a great guest after talking to her for a while.
Michelle told Howard that she'll be doing ''The Vagina Monologs'' in New York City for a while. Howard saw the play and said it was very good. He said he learned a few things after seeing it. One of the things he learned was that you're supposed to compliment women on how good their vaginas look. He asked Michelle to show hers so he could tell her how pretty it was but that wasn't about to happen.
Howard kept hinting that this guy was a mob guy at one time but John never said that. He did say that he did his time in Attica and Sing Sing though. He told Howard how he's no stool pigeon and these days you can't even commit a crime without killing your partner because they'll squeal on you. He said he gave up his life of crime 20 years ago. Howard mentioned Mob informant Henry Hill's name as an example of a stool pigeon. John said he can't respect a degenerate like that. Henry later called in to defend himself but he just ended up calling John a ''fag'' because he lived with Blake for a while. Howard thought it was best to hang up on Henry before John got pissed at him.
John said that he was good friends with Blake and he was living in his house for a while. He left about a week before this woman Bonny Bakley moved in to Blake's guest house. He told Howard that he saw what she was doing to him and all of the other people she was trying to scam. He once told Blake that if he could, he'd take this woman ''off the count'' meaning he'd make it so she wouldn't be counted in the census. Blake told him that he wouldn't do that because he would never want his daughter growing up knowing that he had her mother whacked. So John says he knows for a fact that Blake is innocent in this crime.
Howard and Robin both wondered why Blake even kept this woman around his house at all because he didn't like her. John said it was all for the baby they had together. He wanted to raise his daughter and didn't want to lose that.
It turns out that John is out of his life of crime and has been for 20 years. He's now an actor and he plugged his web site Acting101.com. As Howard was wrapping up the segment he asked John who he thinks could have committed this crime. John said it could have been anyone. He had no specific person in mind but Bonny screwed over so many people that it could be anyone.
Earlier in the show Howard said ''get your earplugs'' because he was expecting Elliott to scream and yell. Elliott came in and he kept fairly quiet. He was also dressed as a man once again and Robin thinks it's because she complimented him yesterday.
Howard had an article from 1988 that said that Elliott was the greatest con artist of the time. Elliott didn't want to talk about it so Howard said he'd save that story for his next visit.
The woman claiming to be Elliott's daughter Karen came in wearing a ski mask. Her husband was with her and he was wearing a mask also. Karen came in and got to plead her case to Howard without Elliott interrupting. She told Howard that she wore the mask because she's embarrassed having him as her father. Karen went on to tell Howard how Elliott kidnapped her when she was 2 and kept her out of school. She also claims that he broke her mother's fingers and beat her. Karen told Howard that she hates to see Elliott making money off of Howard's fans and she hopes this will put a stop to it. She claimed abuse, molestation and a bunch of other stuff.
Elliott kept pretty quiet during her claims. He eventually got his turn and tried to prove that she was a fraud. She brought along a birth certificate that was real and it listed Elliott Keith Offen as being the father. She was born on October 29, 1975. Elliott asked her to prove that she was actually that age so she produced a drivers license. The date on there matched the birth certificate. Elliott then asked her to tell him what her mother's maiden name was. She wrote it down and showed it to him. He still wouldn't admit that it was his daughter. He told her to hold up her left hand to see if there was a birth defect. She held it up and he said it wasn't his daughter because his daughter was born without a thumb. She just laughed. Howard said there were no birth defects listed on the birth certificate so perhaps Elliott was lying. Elliott eventually asked her to take off her mask so he could try to identify her. She did it after Howard had the cameras turned off. He looked at her for a few seconds and said that anyone could see that there was no resemblance to him. He then claimed that he never had sex with the woman who was his daughter's mother in the 9 years he was with her. He claims that she was some other guy's daughter.
Karen't husband told Elliott that he was willing to put up $10,000 to his $20,000 if he took a DNA test to prove their claims. Elliott would just skirt around the offer and not admit to knowing this woman. He babbled on and on about how the past 10 years he's been a model citizen. Karen wanted him to talk about the 30 years before that though. He wasn't talking though.
Karen said that she got over a lot of mental and physical abuse and she'd like to help other people do the same. She said she would like to start a web site where people could ask for her help. She may come back in the future to promote that site when it gets started.
Howard had to wrap things up so both Karen and Elliott got their last words in. They could have gone another 2 hours with the arguing but Howard had to take a break.
Howard also got to talk about Mike Gange, an E! show producer who started out as an intern on Howard's show years ago. He's now 31 years old and still working there. Anyway, Mike went to Paris, France and hung out with his ex-girlfriend Jen who used to work with him. They slept in the same bed but never made love and he didn't get laid the whole time he was over there. Gange doesn't think that it's that ridiculous. Howard says that Gange has to be gay not to bang her. Gange said he was afraid it would bring back so much other stuff in his life so he didn't even try. He said he did get aroused but didn't even reach around and try to cop a feel. He kept saying that he didn't think it would be a good idea to do anything with her. Even Robin said all he had to do was just touch her and he probably could have gotten something from her. Everyone then jumped on him and told him how he could have gotten laid over there. When he was asked by someone why he didn't try to pick up some topless beach chicks, he said it was because he was with his ex-girlfriend and he didn't feel right doing it. General Manager Tom Chiusano even made a trip into the studio to tell Gange how dumb he was. He said that it was a new place and it could have been a new experience for the two of them. Gange said he just didn't want to open that ''can of worms'' all over again. He just sounded like a big pussy to everyone. Tom said that Gange might be asexual. Mike said he just didn't want to go back to the past. He never even pleasured himself while he was there.
Howard wouldn't give up on the story. He kept digging deeper and deeper and found out that Mike and Jen held hands at one point but not in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. They even snuggled with each other a couple of times but then they'd just go to sleep. Howard summed it up best when he called Mike a ''fag''.
Doug Goodstein from E! called in and said that Gange did something odd when a ''Perfect 10'' girl called him and asked him to show her around the city. They hung out, drank together and Gange ended up with a new friend. No sex. Gange said that she just wanted to go home after they went out so that's what he let her do. Everyone thinks she wanted him to go with her, he just didn't see the signs.
Howard was wearing one of P. Diddy's SeanJohn shirts this morning. He said he likes the SeanJohn clothing line and wears it quite often. Robin didn't like the shirt he had on. She said it was ''just a shirt'' with an ''ugly design on it'' that was nothing special. Howard didn't know what she was expecting. She was expecting something other than a plain old shirt with an ugly design on it. P. Diddy sounded a little upset with Robin for dissing the shirt so much.
Howard eventually got off the shirt subject and talked to P. Diddy about his life and the people he hangs out with. Howard said he has his posse from the 'hood and then he has friends like Jerry Seinfeld that he hangs out with. Howard wondered how he became friendly with Jerry. P. Diddy said that he's not really friends with Jerry, he'll just talk to him if he runs into him while he's out.
Howard brought up Jennifer Lopez and was going to show Sean the pictures he saw in the tabloids where they show her big, giant ass in a thong. Howard asked him if it's painful to see his ex with a new guy. Sean didn't seem upset over it. Howard said her ass is as big as a truck and asked if she should be designing clothes because she doesn't know how to dress herself. Sean said that she's got her own style and it works for her. He also told Howard you have to be into asses if you want to be into Jennifer's ass.
P. Diddy told Howard that he's now going to be known as ''H. Diddy''. Howard said that he likes that and then asked when the name changing ceremony will be held for ''P. Diddy''. That whole thing will eventually happen but he didn't have a date set. Howard thought he was going to give up on that whole nutty idea but it's not out of the question yet.
P. Diddy asked Howard about his marriage break up and how he's handling that. Howard said it's over and he's trying to move on.
Robin brought up Sean's mother and how she's always around when Sean is in court or out in public. She said that any woman who wants to get to P. Diddy is going to have to go through his mother.
Howard asked Sean about how much he's worth and what he does with his money. Sean said that he's got a nice house out in the Hamptons that's ''only'' 8-9000 square feet. He's got a bunch of places in different parts of the country where he can stay. He said he likes to keep it moving.
Howard asked Sean about the women he's dated and what that's like. Sean was pretty quiet about all of that stuff though. Howard was calling all of the women his ''bitches'' but Sean said you might get your penis cut off if you call a Sister a ''bitch'' to her face. Sean did share the story about how he met Jennifer Lopez and eventually dated her. He had her do one of his music videos after being friends with her for quite a while. It took a long time for him to get her in bed. Howard kept asking about Jennifer but Sean just wanted to move on. He asked Howard if there was any way they could do that but Howard wouldn't let it happen. He wanted to know everything about the relationship. Sean said that Jennifer was really just a ''good, sweet girl'' and they didn't have a bad break up.
Howard did move on and let some phone callers talk to P. Diddy. One guy asked him if when he's in the studio and he gets it right if his trainer gives him a banana. P. Diddy told the guy to come down to the studio and say that. He said he'd shove that banana up the guys ass if he did show up.
Yesterday this black woman, who ''sounded white'' to Howard, called in and said she wanted to come down and meet P. Diddy. Howard let her come down with her friend today and she was a black woman. Howard said she didn't look like she was from ''the 'hood'' though. She was pretty cute according to him and Gary told Howard she has 4 kids and she's only 28 years old. Howard let her friend talk to P. Diddy for a few seconds and she tried to hook up with him. That won't be happening though.
Howard got rid of the girls and played a clip of ''Bad Boy for Life'' from the new album. Robin tried to get into a discussion about how P. Diddy seems to settle his problems with fighting but Sean said he's taken his anger management classes and that stuff is behind him now. He's enjoying his life and getting away from that stuff.
Howard took a few more phone calls and one woman ended up yelling at P. Diddy about some nonsense about him not being a business man so he told her to calm down and stop yelling so early in the morning. He then pointed out that those anger management classes were paying off because he didn't yell back at the woman.
High Pitch Erik called in and mentioned he'd be making an appearance out in the Hamptons and tried to hook up with P. Diddy. Of course that would never happen but at least Eric tried his best. Howard's buddy Ralph also called in and said that P. Diddy parties are the best. Robin brought him to one and it was great. He just called in to talk about how cool it was. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that. P. Diddy thanked everyone out there who has supported him over the years as Howard wrapped it up.