The band came in and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to the lead singer Pat about his cool look and stuff like that. Howard then had them perform their hit ''Drops of Jupiter'' which sounded great. Then they did their cover of ''Ramble On'' and it was even better. Gary said the lead singer's voice is great. Howard took a bunch of phone calls from listeners and everyone was impressed with their performances. Gary was also impressed and he told them that they sound better than a lot of great bands that come on the show to perform. Howard wrapped things up with the guys and said that they'll be touring with Matchbox Twenty starting on July 31st.
Lysa said that they could have dug and searched on Monday but they didn't have equipment there to do that. She said they needed metal detectors and dogs to sniff around but she never said they'd need that stuff. She just assumed that they'd bring an army of people to do the searching. Howard said she was pretty brilliant in the way she got out of the situation. She stalled by going to the cops and by holding up the whole thing and then said that they'd have to search the waters around this area she found. It was a big bust and she won't admit it.
Howard tried to end the call by giving Lysa a plug but she was even upset with the way he presented that. He pointed out that it'll cost you ''...five HUNDRED dollars'' to get a sit down reading with Lysa. She was upset that he had to say ''five HUNDRED'' to the audience. Howard also said you can have your reading over the phone for a mere $300 and through e-mail for $60. Just visit her web site ChannelingSpirits.com for more information.
Howard and the crew returned from a 3 day weekend this morning. Howard said that he was in a crappy mood because he had something in his eye. He said he just wanted to go home. It was only a minute into the show. He said he wasn't sure where to begin and he had to take care of the eye thing. He was about to take a break but said that he was just invited to Ronnie the Limo Driver's birthday party that's going to be held at Scores. Robin wondered how old Ronnie will be. Howard wasn't sure so he and the guys tried to guess. They were up around 54 while trying to figure it out. Artie said he might be 54 but his newest tattoo is only 6 months old. Howard said that's right. Howard joked that the girls at Scores have nicknamed Ronnie ''Tyrannosaurs Ronnie'' because he's so old.
Howard said he had plenty to say about the Siegfried and Roy incident that happened over the weekend. Robin said she couldn't get enough information about Roy after hearing about the tiger attacking him over the weekend. She and Howard spent a little time talking about that. Howard said he never thought of that as a dangerous show. He also figured that they must have taken the tiger's teeth out. Howard said that Roy apparently told the people back stage to let the cat live even after it attacked him and almost killed him. Howard also talked about how he always thought Siegfried and Roy were gay but they play it straight so he's not sure what's going on there. Howard pointed out that Penn from Penn and Teller was like their official spokesperson over the weekend which was kind of surprising. Howard said he hung with those guys out in Las Vegas earlier this year so he'll be sending Roy some flowers. Howard and Robin talked about how there was no screen up on stage so the audience could have been in danger as well.
Howard talked about how Roy bopped the tiger in it's nose with his microphone when it wouldn't do what it was supposed to do. That's when the tiger grabbed him by the arm and then by the neck and dragged him of stage. Robin said that even house cats are not completely tameable and we're just meat to them. She said she knows that if she dies in her house, her cats would eat her if they had the chance. Howard talked about how nice those guys were to them when they were out there in Vegas. He also said they're creepy guys but Artie said they were really nice to them while they were hanging out.
Robin knew a lot about the Roy story and how the attack was really bad news because of where the tiger grabbed his neck. They're saying that he's still in critical condition. Howard read that a lot of people didn't know that it was a real attack happening. Robin knew almost every detail about the story because she was so interested in it. She said she read another story about a guy who had a tiger in his apartment in New York City. She said that one attacked as well so Howard said those things seem to happen in threes. That led to Howard talking about this guy who kept his tiger in his basement and how they could make a cool movie out of something like that. The guy wouldn't be able to afford food so he'd have to go out and get homeless people to feed to his tiger. Artie said they could call it ''Siegfried and Leroy.''
Howard said they have to find someone to take over for Siegfried and Roy since they don't know if they'll ever return to their show. Howard said they could take over for them somehow. They spent a minute on that and took a phone call from a guy who said that the tiger didn't kill Roy because they found out it didn't like ''fruit.'' Howard went right to break after that.
Howard said that the Mirage Casino is going to lose millions over this because Siegfried and Roy were such a huge draw out in Vegas. Howard said that there are probably some pissed off people out there because they had some other projects in the works for the two of them.
Howard talked about how this guy in Harlem had a 400 pound tiger living in his apartment. He read that a lot of people knew the guy had the tiger but didn't feel that scared. Artie wondered what the guy's apartment must have smelled like. Howard read that the guy's downstairs neighbor complained about tiger urine coming through his ceiling but the cops said the apartment was actually pretty clean. Robin said when the guy was attacked by his tiger, he went to the hospital and told them that he was attacked by a pit bull. The doctors knew something else had injured him so they sent the cops over to check it out. Howard said the guy also had a full grown alligator in his apartment as well and everyone seemed to be overlooking that.
Artie started Howard in on the David Bowie songs again when he sang the ''I'm and Alligator salesman'' lyric that Howard was singing last week. That got Howard talking about how he listened to Bowie all weekend. He said he wants his radio station to get a nice classic rock library back again because years ago they gave away all of their albums when they switched formats from classic rock to alternative. He said he knows that Tom will freak out when he requests that but he really wants a classic rock library there.
Wendy the Retard called in so Howard played with her a little bit and said she was rumored to be the replacement for Roy in the Siegfried and Roy show. Wendy told Howard that she had a tooth removed but Howard didn't seem interested in that so he said he had to go. Wendy had to perform a Karaoke song for him. She sang along to ''All by Myself.'' It sounded awful but Howard let her go on and on for a while. He hung up on her after a couple of minutes.
Howard said that Ted Nugent has a reality TV show now. He said he recorded it but hasn't watched it yet. He asked Robin if she could imagine doing a show with him. He's known for his hunting now and he can't imagine being around the wacky rock star for too long. He said he's constantly acting macho and never stops. Artie said he heard that the guy even shoots a bow across the stage during his rock show. That led to Howard bringing up how David Lee Roth is into this samurai sword thing and how he ended up cutting himself during his last show in New York City. Howard said that might be to distract the audience from realizing that it's not Van Halen performing. Howard said it would have been something else if Roy had been attacked when they were at the show. They only missed it by 3 months.
Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) called in and said he saw the movie ''Elf'' over the weekend and told Artie that he was in a great scene in the movie. He said that it might be one of the funniest scenes he's ever seen in his life. Will Ferrell is the star of the movie. Artie said he didn't even know he was still in the movie. Gary came in and said that he saw the promo for the movie and it looks really good. Chaunce also saw the remake of ''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' and that was really gorey. He said the movie was great and it had Jessica Biel in it. Artie said that he and Dana went to see ''School of Rock'' and really enjoyed it. Artie said he went after Howard recommended it.
Robin told Howard that she was out in Arizona over their long weekend. She told Howard she has some friends out there that she stayed with. She didn't spend long on that subject before Howard moved on to other things.
Howard saw that Norm Zadeh from Perfect 10 magazine was coming in with 3 boxing models later in the show. Daryl Hannah was also coming in so the guys were all talking about how hot she is. She's appearing in Playboy and the guys all said she still looks really good. Howard had to take another break before getting to all of that stuff.
Howard said they got an e-mail from someone who said that Daniel Carver mentioned that he accidentally dated a Jewish woman one time. Howard said they missed that somehow when they spoke to him last week. Howard gave the wrap up of the $25,000 BetOnSports.com football pool after that. Artie finally lost one as did Sanders the Chicken and Gary the Retard. Daniel Carver won. Here's the wrap up:
Howard said there were days when his radio station would reject advertisers. These days they're taking just about anything. He played one of the commercials that they're playing on his station now and it's for MyGaydar.com. Howard said he thought it was a goof when he heard it but it's a real commercial. Robin said it sounded like something that Howard put together as a goof.
Howard had Gary bring Daryl in a short time later. Howard said he's never met her in person before. When she came in Howard told her not to be nervous. He said he loved the shirt she was wearing. Howard said she looked good. Daryl was barely speaking above a whisper when Howard was talking to her. Howard said she was barely wearing anything on her top and the shirt was hardly even there.
Howard said Daryl's resume of men was disturbing to him. He said she's been with a lot of guys who aren't quite there. Robin said that she was dating Val Kilmer but Daryl told them that she's not dating anyone right now. She said that Val was kind of out there. Howard asked her what it's like to date her. She said she likes to snowboard which Howard said he would never do. Artie said he loves snowboarding so they were already a match.
Daryl went on to tell Howard about her tee pees and how she has four of them now. She said she can use them as guest houses and stuff. She said she has a lot of property so there's plenty of room for them in her yard.
Howard and Daryl talked about the movie ''Kill Bill'' a little bit. Daryl said you are just introduced to her character in the first part. She gets more screen time in the second part. Howard spent a minute on that but got back to Darryl's tee pees again and asked her about them. He asked her if she's ever had sex with an American Indian in one. She said she hasn't done that. Howard then got back to the ''Kill Bill'' discussion. Howard told Daryl how great he thought the movie was and how he could have sat through the second part right after the first part.
Daryl has a big movie screen on the side of her house so she can watch movies outside. She said you can only watch at night or in her barn where she has a screen set up. Howard seemed to think that was all kind of odd.
Howard asked Daryl about dating JFK Jr. and whether or not his mother broke the two of them up. She wasn't getting into too many details so Howard asked her if he had a small penis. She said that only a guy with a small penis would ask her a question like that. He also asked her if he ever slept in the tee pee. She was living in New York at the time so he never saw the tee pee.
Howard told Daryl that her pictures in Playboy were great but Daryl said she wasn't that happy with the photos they chose to publish. She said they had a different concept in mind but they changed that. She said that she was supposed to have 100 percent approval and they may have changed some of what she chose. She said she can't say much because there may be legal problems there.
Daryl told Howard about all of the training she and the other stars of ''Kill Bill'' went through for the movie. She said she went through months of that before shooting the movie. Howard said she's also got another movie coming out soon as well.
Howard talked to Daryl about dating Val Kilmer and David Blaine. She told Howard a little bit about Val and apparently rolled her eyes when he brought up David Blaine. She also talked about how she was with Jackson Browne for a long time and raised kids with him. She said she was only 17 years old when she met him. He was 31 at the time. She said her family tried to get her to stop dating an older man like that. She told Howard that she never had guys hitting on her in high school so when Jackson came on to her, she was taken by that and went with him. She said she didn't start living with him until she was 20 years old. Browne's kids were about 12 years younger than her at the time.
Howard gave Daryl another plug for ''Kill Bill'' and talked about how great it was. Daryl said that the violence in the movie is so cartoonish that it's almost funny. She said when someone gets a limb cut off there's a fountain of blood that comes out. Howard said he was told that Daryl had to leave but he wanted to take some phone calls for her. He managed to take a couple before she left. A woman called in and said she dated someone who lived in a tee pee. She said it took some getting used to but it was kind of cool once you did it for a while. The woman ended up asking Howard for a watch as a prize. Howard ended up saying she could have one but he was only doing it to make himself look good to Daryl.
Gary came in and said that Daryl had to go. Howard wanted her to stay but she had other interviews to do. Daryl said that it was very brave of her to come in by herself this morning since she was supposed to come in with Quentin Tarantino. Howard didn't understand what there is to be brave about though. Robin told him he was a lunatic when some guests are on and that's why people are afraid to come in. Howard spent a little more time talking to her before he let her go. He gave her another plug for the movie which opens this Friday and then went to break.
Howard said he was forwarded an e-mail from someone who said that Arnold and Maria Shriver were bad mouthing him some place. Howard said he didn't believe that story though.
Howard said they got some DNA results back that the guys on the show took. The last time they did this they found out that Artie was 25 percent Native American. This time they found out that Artie's sister is only 10 percent Native American. Gary said that Benjy has 21 percent Native American in him. Scott DePace also has 14 percent. They're more European than anything else but they both have some Native American in them.
Howard interrupted that discussion to talk about Rush Limbaugh and how he's trying to cover up the whole prescription drug problem he allegedly had. They spent a minute on that and got back to the DNA test results.
Gary said that Will in the back office is 100 percent European or whatever he is. Howard is 85 percent European and 15 percent East Asian. He said that the East Asian thing can be the Russian he has in him. They got off of that subject and moved on to other stuff.
Howard took a call from a guy who pointed out that Daryl Hannah said something about liking Cap'n Crunch when she was younger. Howard didn't think that was a product placement ad though. He said he had a clip of Lisa Kudrow talking about cooking M&Ms on some talk show she was on. Robin said she wasn't so sure about that one and thought it was kind of odd. She didn't think it was a good way to sell M&Ms though. Howard wasn't sure either but it sure seemed like they set the whole thing up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that his East Asian DNA might explain his tiny penis. Howard took another call from a guy who said that he got pissed on by an elephant when he went to see Siegfried and Roy a few years ago. He said he tried to get the Casino to pay for their clothes and stuff but the hotel didn't want to give them their money back. The guy was going on and on so Howard hung up on the guy saying he really didn't care about it. Howard went on to talk about Roy's tiger attack a little more.
A listener called in and said that there was an awful picture of Howard in the New Jersey Star Ledger today. He said the picture makes Howard look as old as Don Imus. He told Howard that he was all wrinkled in the picture but Howard said he's not wrinkled. The guy also said the article was comparing Howard to Rush Limbaugh. Howard said he doesn't know why his name comes up whenever any of these guys get in the news. He mentioned a few examples of these radio guys who bad mouth him until they get in trouble. Then they mention his name and say that he's able to do similar stuff.
Howard had a bunch of e-mail to read. He had the e-mail about Daniel Carver's comment about dating a Jewish woman one time. He also said they got a lot of mail about Mike Walker calling in with the Rush Limbaugh story last week. Some people didn't like the fact that Mike was on but others thought he was great. There was email about Howard backing Arnold Schwarzenegger in the California recall election. Howard said he thinks that Arnold will win in a landslide. He also thinks that Arnold will distance himself from him if he is elected.
Howard read an e-mail from a guy who loves Artie's AC/DC impressions. There are others who hate the impression and don't want him to ever sing again. Howard said he can't figure out what's in his audience's heads. He read some mail about the joking around they did about Bob Schimmel's non-Hodgkins lymphoma last week when they were announcing the new TV show he and Howard are working on. Howard said he knows that the cancer is serious, they were just joking around.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that it would be cool of the tiger that attacked Roy was exposed to radioactive materials and all of a sudden Roy had superpowers. Howard said that would make a great movie. That led to Howard and Artie having some fun with some ideas for what the movie would be like. They all ended up talking about Siegfried and Roy again. Howard said he's going to send Roy a note or something. Howard said he was surprised to find out that Roy used a microphone to bonk the tiger on the head to get it to do its tricks. He and Robin spent a little time talking about the attack. Artie mentioned that his name was Roy Horn. Howard said that he never knew that was his last name. Artie said Roy Horn sounds like the name of a guy you get a beer from.
Howard took a few calls before getting to Norm Zadeh. One guy brought up the fact that they played a clip of Howard and Wally George going at each other first thing in the morning. He thought it was ironic that they played that since Wally George just passed away at the age of 71. Howard said he knew that Wally died, that's why they played that clip. Howard spent a few minutes talking about Wally and how his show just never caught on.
Howard asked Norm if he bangs any of these chicks. Norm said he has slept with a few of them over the years but not that many. He said he thinks of these girls as his daughters. The girls don't seem to mind that. Howard tried to get Norm to talk about having sex with these girls but Norm said he doesn't have intercourse with them as often as they'd think. He said he gets lap dances and likes to cuddle with these girls. He said intercourse is dangerous and people get emotionally attached easily so he avoids it. Norm said he likes to massage girls. Howard asked him if he drops his seed while he's doing that stuff. Norm said he does do that ''in a controlled way'' which Howard didn't really get. He asked him how he goes about doing this stuff. He asked Norm if he's naked while he does the massaging or something. Norm said he is rarely naked, he usually wears shorts.
Howard talked to Roluca ''Rock On'' Gallagher a little bit when she said that she's not one of Norm's girls. She said she's just a boxer. Howard was trying to figure out Norm's scene but he just couldn't do it. Doug Goodstein from E! was in the studio because he's been out to the Perfect 10 mansion. He and Norm talked about that for a few seconds before Howard got back to the girls.
Howard said that Roluca Gallagher, Vanessa ''Sweet Venom'' Norris and Noreen Zane will be in this Pay-Per-View event this Friday night. Howard wondered if anyone ever gets hurt during these things. The girls said that they do get hurt and there are some knockdowns once in a while. KC asked them to give them a quick match in the studio. Norm said they brought helmets along with them so they could do that. Roluca and the other girls were sparring with each other a little bit. Howard wanted them to get naked but that didn't happen.
A caller asked Norm ''homosayswhat?'' but Norm didn't fall for that. There were a couple of other guys who called in and said that Norm is a fag because he doesn't bang these girls. Norm said he just had sex about 10 days ago so it's not like he's no getting laid. He also has a little bit of a germ phobia so that's another reason he doesn't bang a lot of chicks.
Howard said the next time he goes out to L.A. He's going to stay at Norm's house instead of a hotel. Norm said that's fine because he's tired having just Doug Goodstein come over and stay. He said he'd like to have others stay over as well. Doug said that it's quite a scene over there and Norm cycles through these girls and gives them massages. He said he has them keep their panties on when he massages them.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted the Siegfried and Roy tiger to go over to the Celine Dion show and take care of her. Howard started to wrap up the segment after that call. He asked the girls if they have boyfriends and they all said ''no.'' Howard seemed surprised to hear that. Another caller told Howard that Norm is no homo, he's probably just had his fill of hot chicks. Howard talked to the girls a little more and took another call from a guy who asked Norm if he's a Jew and if he's religious. Norm said that he is Jewish but he doesn't believe in any organized religion.
Robin asked Norm how often he has a ''release.'' Norm said he does it perhaps every other day. Doug Goodstein said that Norm has a special mattress for doing massages. Norm said he had it cut so that you shoulders hang down so there's no pressure there. Doug said he saw the mattress and wondered what it was. Doug also asked Norm what he meant when he said that he has a ''controlled release'' when he massages the girls. Norm said he figured out a way to pleasure himself mentally and doesn't even need to be touched to finish. He said when girls give him a lap dance, he wears a rubber and can finish just looking at a girl. Doug asked if they could shoot one of those lap dances for the E! show. Norm told the guys how he's able to just let it happen while the girls are dancing for him. Robin seemed to think that it was an unusual way to do that. She said he can do whatever he wants to do and that's the way he chooses to do it? Norm said it's sanitary and that's why he does it like that. Howard said they might have to do a week's worth of shows from Norm's mansion. He said he's heard it's quite a place. Doug said it really is pretty amazing.
Robin asked Norm a couple more questions about the girls who live at the mansion and how that all works. He said he has a couple of girls living there now and he doesn't even date them. He said one of the girls even drives one of his cars and he's not dating her. Doug threw in one more question as well. He asked him about hanging out with Lucille Ball. Norm said he did hang out with Lucy and her husband and he thinks that she may have liked him a little bit. He said it was just a social thing though and he never banged her. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that. You can find out more about the Perfect 10 model boxing match at Perfect10.com
Howard said the commercial break earlier in the show was weird because they had a commercial for John Ritter's show ''8 Simple Rules'' where they went from happy music to sad music when they mentioned it was John's last show. He and Artie ended up goofing on the commercial a little bit before Robin got back to her news.
Howard started off the show talking about how Arnold Schwarzenegger won the California Governor election yesterday. He said that Jay Leno was right there to introduce him last night on his show according. Howard said he saw one person interviewed yesterday who was asked why he was voting for Arnold and he said it was because Howard told him to. Howard played a clip of Jay Leno introducing Arnold on The Tonight Show last night. Jay was taking credit for Arnold's win as well. Howard said there wouldn't have been this kind of coverage for the election without Arnold. He talked about how sincere Arnold seemed to be when he talked about running for governor. Robin said Arnold once called Robin by the wrong name and actually called the show back a little while later and apologized. She said he'd called her Roberta at the time and she told him that with his accent, no one really knew that he'd done that anyway.
Howard and Robin talked about how dedicated Arnold seems to be toward this new job. He said California is in trouble and maybe he can help turn it around. Howard said that the recall election seemed a lot like a lynching because of how fast things happened but it might just work. Robin wondered if they'd be hearing from Arnold now that he's been elected. Howard said he's not sure about that because he's heard that Maria Shriver has a problem with him and might not want Arnold calling in for some reason.
Artie wondered if Arnold will follow through with his plans to name something after Howard out there in California. Howard said he's not sure that will happen. He said that Arnold was going to call into the show every week for a while but that never happened. They ended up having an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator on the show instead. Howard wondered how the rest of the candidates are handling all of this. He talked about that for a minute and then went to commercial break.
Howard changed subjects and said that there are reports about how the Pope is on his last leg and they're asking for everyone to pray for him. Howard went on to talk about how the next pope may be a black guy. He said that he's not surprised that a black guy might be the pope because they seem to be very religious. He pointed out how rappers are always thanking God when they accept an award at something like the Grammys or the MTV Video Music Awards. Howard said he hopes the guy gets in as the Pope.
Howard said Robin went to the premiere of ''Kill Bill'' and didn't like it nearly as much as Howard did. She said she didn't hate it but she wasn't as impressed with it as Howard was. Howard said he couldn't take his eyes off the movie. Robin said she expected a kung fu movie but none of the girls in the movie were convincing to her. She didn't like Uma Thurman's character because it left her cool. Robin said Howard didn't like ''Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'' and that's about what this movie was like. She said the hard core kung fu fans will be disappointed when they see the movie. Robin said she wanted to slap Quentin Tarantino after seeing the movie last night but he wasn't at the premiere. She said that he's apparently sick in bed so he couldn't make it.
Robin said she was sitting next to Drea de Matteo from ''The Sopranos'' but didn't talk to her because she doesn't know what she thinks of the show. Gary told Howard that Robin might be right about that because Drea was scheduled to do the show a couple of times and ended up baking out. She may not be a fan of the show.
Howard said that he was talking to some guys about this Les Moonves guy who is the head of CBS programming. Howard said that Les lies to him about stuff and that's why he hates him. He said all he has to do is be straight with him but he never is. He said that he has relationships with the heads of every network except the one he works for because of Les. He said he has no use for the guy. People have told him that he's committing career suicide not having Les on his side but he doesn't care. He said he thinks he'll do just fine without Les. Howard wouldn't get into specifics about why he hates Les so much but he did mention some problem with a script he promised to put into production but backed out of. (Probably ''Kane''). Howard said that he spoke to Mel Karmazin about Les taking over the company for him. He said that if Les takes Mel's job, he'll leave the company. He said Les will take over that company over his dead body.
Howard said he got some mail about the Jack Black movie ''School of Rock'' that he liked. The writer said that he hated the movie and can't believe Howard thought it was funny. Howard took some phone calls after that. One guy said that Jay Leno never backed Arnold Schwarzenegger in this election, he just had him on his show. Howard backed him 100 percent and now he expects to be at the inauguration. He said that he was invited to the inauguration for Governor Patacki and went to that. Governor Christie Whitman thanked Howard by giving him a plaque at a rest stop in New Jersey. Robin said that a lot of people who don't normally vote in gubernatorial elections actually voted in this one and that's the kind of votes Howard is able to get. Artie said that Howard has to go to this thing because it was great when Patacki had him sitting behind him while all of the news cameras were there covering it. Howard said that he was going to run for governor and probably would have won. He said he was going to resign as Governor as soon as he got the death penalty passed. Howard congratulated Arnold once again and said they have sports writer Ken Rosenthal calling in later in the show. That led to the guys talking about the baseball games that were on last night for a short time. Howard went to break right after that.
Sports writer Ken Rosenthal from The Sporting News called in to talk to Howard. Howard had no clue what The Sporting News was so he wasn't very familiar with Ken. He said he'd rather look at tabloid magazines like the National Enquirer and The Star.
Howard asked Ken about owning a gun. He figured that if he's a sports writer, he must be a real man so he must own a gun. Howard also asked Artie if he owns one. Artie said that he's a convicted felon so he can't own one. Howard also asked Ken if he ever pees sitting down like he does. Howard said when he sits on the bowl his balls hit the water. He also talked about how when he pees with morning wood, his ween hits the toilet seat. He said they're like prison toilets so they don't really make lids for them. He said he had to buy a seat and have it painted metallic to match the toilet. Artie said he has peed in a real prison toilet so they spent a short time talking about that. He said he's also sat down on the toilet to pee before. Fred said he sits if he goes in the middle of the night when he can't see what he's doing. Gary said he started sitting about a year ago and his wife asked him what he was doing. He said he was trying not to make a lot of noise that might wake up the kids.
Howard got back to Ken and asked him why he thinks the Red Sox will beat the Yankees in the World Series. Ken said he doesn't know for sure that they'll win, but he thinks that the Sox will do pretty well. He then said that the Yanks will probably take it in 6 games. Howard said he thought that Ken was going to have a great argument for why the Sox would beat the Yanks. He said he doesn't need to interview him now because there's no argument.
Howard said he wished he could get in on the conversation that Artie and Ken were having about the baseball thing but he didn't know enough. He threw in the fact that he slept with Angie Everhart and showered with Carmen Electra. KC came in a short time later and said that the Yankees are going to lose because they just stink. He said they won because they were lucky, not because they were good. KC told Howard that he doesn't bet on baseball games. Howard told him he shouldn't bet money but he should bet Artie that the Yankees will lose and if they do, he gets to sleep with his girlfriend Dana. If the Yankees win then Artie would get KC's mom. That wasn't going over so well though.
Howard ended up talking to KC about the medication he's on for his depression. KC said that he's on this one medication that's causing him to have seizures while he sleeps. He said they have to take him off of that one and put him on something else. Robin said that last week he was slurring his words and stuff because of the medication. KC is ready to quit the meds all together but Howard wants him to stay on them.
Howard told KC to bet Artie with food. He said if Artie loses the bet, he can't eat for 2 days. If KC loses, he has to eat the same food that Artie eats for 2 days. KC said he'd be sick all the time if he did that.
Howard said that Artie has been walking around in this leather jacket that's way too small for him. He said that ARtie's girlfriend Dana bought it for him and it's a few sizes too small. ARtie explained how he found it in a mall and tried it on. It was a little small on him but he took it anyway because the salesman told him it looked fine on him. The jacket was $325 and he wanted to pay for it himself but Dana insisted on buying it for him. Artie put the jacket on to show Howard what it looked like on him. When it was open it was fine but when he attempted to zipper it, it barely zipped up. He couldn't raise his arm with it zippered. Stuttering John was in goofing on him about it and saying that it wasn't that great of a jacket.
Howard got back to Ken and let ARtie talk to him about the Red Sox for a few more seconds. Howard got him off the phone a short time later and gave him a plug for SportingNews.com where you can read his articles. Howard said it was a bit of a bust of an interview because he was supposed to come on and talk about how the Red Sox were going to beat the Yankees.
Howard read some mail they got about the Siegfried and Roy accident with the tiger. Some people think Howard didn't sound very compassionate about what happened. He read a bunch of mail about the discussions he had yesterday on the show. Howard and Robin weren't sure what the problem was because they thought they were worried about Roy after hearing this stuff. A listener called in a short time later and said that he finds other people's personal tragedy hilarious. He thought it was funny that Roy was attacked by the tiger. Another caller said that people go to shows like that to see stuff like that happen. He said people go to car races to see the accidents and they go to see Siegfried and Roy because of the danger.
Howard said the National Enquirer had a picture of Monica Lewinsky's thong. He said weighs like 200 pounds and she's wearing a thong. Howard said it's really embarrassing and she should get her stomach stapled or something. Howard found a story about Rush Limbaugh's marriage in the National Enquirer. He read that and goofed on Rush some more. That led to Robin saying that John Gambling didn't believe that Rush was the one making exchanges of money for prescription drugs in a parking lot and was defending him on his news program. Howard said he has some dirt on that guy as well. He said it's nothing like the Rush Limbaugh stuff though.
Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) called in and said that there's an episode of The Simpsons where they have something very similar to what happened to Roy of Siegfried and Roy. Howard and Robin didn't know why Chaunce was telling them that though. Chaunce asked Howard if Daryl Hannah really was hot when she came in yesterday. Howard said she really was hot even though she's not the same Daryl Hannah from 20 years ago. Howard said he wouldn't bang most chicks that are over 40 but he would do Daryl. That led to the guys talking about Daryl and some other women who are over 40. Chaunce said he thought that Daryl looked ''old and weathered'' in her Playboy photos. Howard said he actually liked those pictures though. Stuttering John came in and said that Daryl had a ''boney ass'' when she came in. He said it was all legs and no ass from behind. John said that both Daryl and Tawny (Kitaen) are close to hitting the wall. Howard said they're still bangable though and that's pretty good for women that age. John said he'd rate Daryl a 7 on a scale of 10. Chaunce was also saying that putting an old chick on the cover of Playboy is a bad idea. Howard checked out the magazine and said that the Centerfold might be one of the hottest chicks he's ever seen. Howard and Chaunce spent a couple of minutes talking about Daryl. Stuttering John wondered how long she's got before Howard wouldn't bang her. Howard said she's got about 2 years.
Chaunce asked Howard why he didn't bring up the fact that Jackson Browne used to slap Daryl around. Howard said he's brought that up in past interviews and it doesn't go over very well when he does. Stuttering John asked Howard if he thought Daryl or Tawny looked better. Howard said he wasn't sure and they were both about the same. John said he thought that Tawny had a better body. Howard had to take a break right after those discussions.
Howard spent a little more time talking about how there may be a black Pope in our future. He said that he'd love that and they could call him Pope Diddy or something like that. He was singing some rap songs that the Pope could sing.
Howard took some phone calls after that. One guy called in and said that he was down at the Borgata in Atlantic City and saw Jackie the Joke Man performing at their comedy club. He said Jackie is still telling the same old jokes and wearing the same old Hawaiian shirts. He said that a bunch of people walked out and he felt sorry for the guy. Howard said he didn't want to get into any of that so he let the guy off the phone.
Howard said it's hard to interview someone through an interpreter. Sheila asked if there were any other magazines that she could pose for. Howard said there's nothing. Artie said there's a magazine called ''Deaf, Dumb and Delusional'' that she could pose for. Howard said something similar and the interpreter signed that to Sheila. They asked her not to do that but she went ahead and did it.
Sheila is a dominatrix so the guys asked her a little bit about that. She claims that her slaves learn sign language so they can follow her commands. Howard tried to get Sheila to say her web site but she wasn't even able to do that. The interpreter had to give it out.. MistressSheila.com. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time after they weighed her in on the studio scale. She came in around 134 pounds. Howard said he was very uncomfortable after that. He said she really does seem to think she can do Playboy but it's just sad.
Howard asked Aaron if he encourages guys to just go with it when they get aroused. Aaron said he does do that but the guys don't start pleasuring themselves or anything like that. The nudity is mandatory in his class. Howard said that someone there has to do some hot, nude yoga with this guy. KC wasn't there so he called him in again. KC came in and said he wasn't going to do any gay yoga. Howard asked Benjy if he'd do it. Benjy didn't know what the guy was going to do to him though so he wasn't sure. Benjy decided to give it a shot. He went over and stripped down naked. He had Howard and the guys laughing when he got naked. Aaron agreed to get naked as well. Howard said he wasn't that big in the pants either.
Howard had Aaron show Benjy some yoga moves and explained what it was they were doing. Aaron was helping Benjy get into these positions and telling him how to breathe. All of the guys were laughing as they watched what was going on. Aaron said he wasn't physically attracted to Benjy so Benjy turned to him and said ''Look at my eyes!'' All of the guys sounded stunned by what was going on in there. Howard said it looked like an elephant backing up when Benjy was making some of his moves. As they were wrapping it up, Benjy and Aaron hugged. Artie said that Benjy's stomach touched Aaron's nuts. Howard pointed out that Benjy has some saggy balls. Artie asked the guys to put some clothes back on after that. Howard gave Aaron a plug for his web sites HotNudeYoga.com and BetterSexThroughYoga.com and talked to him for a little longer. Gary noticed that Benjy had some strange scars on his body and a lot of hair on his ass. They all talked about how gay this all was. The guys asked Aaron if he would take oral from Benjy if he offered it. Aaron said no to that so Benjy was goofed on a bit about that.
KC wondered if David Brenner would be interested in seeing this. Howard had them bring David in to see all of this going on. Howard said he was going to threaten not to plug David's book if he didn't get naked. Brenner came in a short time later so Howard told him to take off all of his clothes to do some hot, nude yoga. Brenner said that wasn't going to happen though. He wouldn't look at either Benjy or Aaron. Howard had to take a break but Benjy wondered if he could sit next to David during the news. He wanted to do it naked because David Brenner is the creator of observational comedy. David said ''Here's some observational comedy... you gotta do something man!'' as he looked at Benjy's large body. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard had David tell a story that he told him during the break. Brenner said he was doing the Tonight Show many years ago when Johnny Carson was still there. He said he was staying in a hotel room when he got a picture of a woman who was a 10. He said he thought she wanted a job but when he read the note that was included, it said that she had a fantasy about being with him for one night. He got a little scared but decided to go over to her place like she asked. He said he told a friend where he was going just in case. He went and she was just as gorgeous in person as she was in the photo. She had a whole meal set up for him and he wasn't sure if he wanted to eat it or not. He went for it and later she told him what she had in mind. They ended up living out her fantasy and he said it was a great night. The next morning they had breakfast and David took off and never saw her again. It was her fantasy to just have him for one night and that's what they did. He said he doesn't even know her name. He said he wanted more but they had a deal to just do it one night.
Howard took a call from a woman who was claiming that David picked her up one time. Her voice was pretty husky from years of smoking most likely. She said she's almost 50 now and David picked her up many years ago. She said she picked him up outside of Catch a Rising Star. She was telling the truth because she remembered the mirror on his ceiling. He started to remember the fur coat and the long hair she had. David remembered the woman and said she was beautiful. She and David talked about some of the stuff they did back then. Howard asked her about how good David was in bed. She said he was an 8 out of 10 in her book. She said that she thought that there's got to be someone out there who's better than anyone she's ever had. David said those were the days back when he was working Catch a Rising Star.
Howard and David talked about this woman Victoria that David knew years ago. They talked about how hot they were and how David met the woman. Howard said he was crazy about her. They talked about David's marriage failing and how he's back to dating again. Howard wondered why he ever got married in the first place. David said it was just something to end his XBOX special with. He said the marriage was over within 6 months though. He said she changed after they got married and she didn't want to stay up late like he does. He said she's still a beautiful woman though. Howard said he told David not to get married when he was on the show. David said that he was the one who broke it off because he didn't want to be unhappy. It turns out he didn't have a pre-nuptial either. Howard couldn't believe that. David said she was only entitled to one year of alimony even though they'd been together for over 12 years. He said he decided to give her 3 years of alimony though because she'd been with him so long. David told Howard he knew it was over when she offered him some shrimp salad one day for lunch. She'd been with him for years and years and she didn't know that he didn't eat shrimp. Howard told him this is the stuff that should have been in his book but it wasn't. David said he felt that she wasn't that into him when she asked him that so that's why he decided to call it off.
David said there are so many other women out there that could know him better. He said there's no time to be unhappy and he won't stay in a marriage like that if he's not happy. He told Howard that he sticks to women that are in their mid 30s to late 40s these days. He's not going for the younger ones. He said women that age are much different than they were when he was younger.
David told Robin that he's still picking up women on the street. He said he'll see a beautiful woman walking down the sidewalk and will ask them some questions. If it leads to a conversation, he'll get her number and take it from there. Howard said he's got balls to be able to do that.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he couldn't believe that David didn't have a pre-nup. David said he didn't have a lot of money to lose anyway so it wasn't that big of a deal. He said he lost a lot of it years ago during his custody battle. They spent a short time on that. Howard took some more phone calls after that and then wrapped up the interview and went to break.
KC was in first thing this morning and laughed at the Yankees loss from last night. He said he knew the Yankees were going to lose and said so on yesterday's show. He goofed on them and laughed out loud at their loss. Howard figured it's the drug induced haze that he's in that caused him to laugh like that. Artie said the Yanks just couldn't hit last night. Artie said that they have to win the next game before they go up to Boston or they'll probably lose the whole series.
Howard said he watched Larry King and ''Smallville'' last night instead of the game. Howard said he watched Siegfried of Siegfried and Roy talking about Roy's tiger accident. He said it was like watching the grieving widow when he was on. Howard talked about what went on during the show. He said that Siegfried said stuff like ''...I am the magician and Roy is the magic..'' Artie said he wished that he'd watched those shows instead of the game himself. Howard complained that he missed the first 10 minutes of ''Smallville'' last night because his TiVo didn't recognize the WB channel on his system. Robin said she missed the first week of ''Friends'' because of some glitch she had with hers.
Howard and Robin got back to their Siegfried and Roy discussion. They talked about how odd all of the people in their entourage are. Howard said they have magician friends who are creepy looking. He said one guy had dyed hair and pulled back skin just like Siegfried. Robin said she heard some of the people calling in and heard some very odd sounding people talking to Siegfried. Howard and Robin were goofing on Siegfried's accent and having some fun with that as they talked about last night's interview. They were also goofing on Larry King and how he didn't bother asking if Siegfried and Roy are gay or not. Howard had some clips from the show to play as well. He was about to go to break but Gary told him he'd just given him a couple of clips. In one clip Siegfried talks about how he'd just left Roy's side a couple of hours before and it and the doctors were saying it was ''magic'' that he was doing as well as he was. Howard wondered why he's always making magic references like that. Gary wondered why the guy was on Larry King so soon after the accident. Howard said it's a good time for him to start something of his own. He's never been able to do an interview without Roy until now. Howard continued playing clips from the interview and goofed around with them for a short time. Howard and the guys had just seen the Siegfried and Roy show a few months ago. Larry King said he'd just seen it a couple of months ago as well. Siegfried talked about what happened with the tiger and Roy when it attacked. Howard had to put a stop to the tapes because he had to take a break. He said he'd get to them later on.
Howard said he checked out Robin's ass earlier this morning in the nice pants she was wearing. That led to Howard talking about how Crazy Cabbie grabs him as he's going into the studio and won't let him get to work. Howard said that's when he saw Robin from behind and her ass is tiny now compared to what it used to be. Robin said she's been working out now that she's lost weight. Howard said everyone is saying that Robin looks 30 now that she's lost the weight and all. Fred played Robin's theme music as they were talking about her work out and diet. Robin said she's in good enough shape to fit into a one piece bathing suit but not a bikini. Robin said she's about to go on another fast and she's asking some other people if they want to do it with her. She said she really believes in the diet she's on (The Master Cleanser) and wants to help other people out with it. Artie said that he'd go on the fast with her but when they told him that it means he can't eat anything, he seemed surprised. Howard told him he can drink this concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper as much as he wants. Robin said it tastes like a soft drink to her.
Robin said she's been running and weight training for a while now and she's really getting into shape. She said she's been rebounding as well so Howard thought she was playing basketball or something. She said it's jumping up and down on a trampoline, not playing basketball. Robin said she has been eating since losing 70 pounds since her body has a need for calories but now she's going to fast again. Howard said he loves asking Robin about her life because she's so enthusiastic about it when she's talking about it. Artie said she's like a superhero or something because she can drink that drink of hers and not eat anything. Robin said she really doesn't get hungry when she's on the fast and has only had as many as 6 of those drinks in one day. Howard asked her if she can put alcohol in the drink. She wondered that herself but hasn't tried it yet.
Stuttering John said he tried that diet and he had no energy when he was drinking that stuff. Robin said she didn't have a problem with energy loss though. John asked her if she consulted a doctor about working out while only drinking that drink. She said she went to doctors in the past and instead of getting better she'd get sicker. She did this on her own and made herself feel better.
Gary said he's spoken to some people who have tried the diet and they say they feel like their kidneys are giving out after a little while. John said that it does feel like your insides are caving in when you're on that diet. Stuttering John says that he's been around 175 pounds since he lost the weight for his fight. He told the guys that he's cut down on drinking beer and that's how he's kept some of the weight off. Gary and the guys were goofing on each other about their addictions and stuff. John said that Gary always goofs on him about his alcohol consumption but Gary goes back and smokes cigarettes all morning. Gary said he only has 3 a morning so he doesn't go as often as he thinks.
Gary told John that he met the big guy at Heineken beer who wants to send Gary out to Philly, Washington DC and other places on the East Coast to promote their stuff. He said the guy said ''screw John'' when he asked about bringing him to these events. John may have screwed himself when he backed out of the trip to Amsterdam earlier this year. Robin had to go with Gary instead. Now the Heineken people aren't too happy with him. John said ''Screw him'' when Gary told him that story. He said his wife didn't want to go to Amsterdam and how he's being punished for it. John and Gary continued to argue about their addictions for a short time after that.
Howard said that John and Gary had a fight last week after the show one day. Gary said it wasn't even a fight, it was more like him yelling at John. John had said suggested an idea during their meeting about what a high school kid could debate Howard about. John said they could debate why Gary and his Wife should or shouldn't be together anymore. Gary went off on him and John didn't know why. Howard thought it was a good idea but Gary didn't like that John brought it up. Some of the guys think that John has it in for Gary for some reason and that's why he makes suggestions like that. The guys wondered why John doesn't go after other people on the show like that. John said that he does have ideas for other people on the show and brings them up in the meetings.
KC came in and told John to do what he was doing the other day when Gary was talking about something he'd done at a supermarket. KC said it was off the air and he didn't have to do it... even though they all laughed at it when it happened. Gary and John continued to go at each other over this stuff before Howard went to commercial break.
Howard said that other candidates got some decent amount of votes in the election. He said Larry Flynt got 15,000 votes, Gary Coleman got 12,000 and Mary Carey got 10,000. Even Gallagher the comedian got 4,000 votes.
Howard played an audio clip of Arnold talking to Jay Leno the other night after he won the election. Howard sounds a little upset that he hasn't gotten a call from Arnold yet. Howard backed him in the election and thinks he should get a call from him. He said maybe Arnold lost his number or something.
Howard played some audio clips that he had laying around. He had one of Tom Brokaw screwing something during the news. He wasn't able to get out the phrase ''de capacitating stroke.'' Howard said he thinks the guy is finally losing it because he's been screwing up a few things on the air lately.
Howard had a clip of Kathie Lee Gifford's son Cody being interviewed about a TV show he's appearing on. Chris Booker from Entertainment Tonight was talking to him and was very excited as he spoke to the 13 year old. Howard and Robin were joking about how Booker should have asked him about his father trying to get anal from that woman a few years ago when he was caught on tape with another woman.
Howard spent a little time talking about Britney Spears and how she seems to want to show off her body but just won't go that extra inch to show it all. He also played some of the new Madonna/Britney Spears song (Me Against The Music) before getting to the phone sex girls.
Howard moved on to the next girl after that. Pinky got on the line and spoke in her sexy little voice like the other girl should have. She was doing it the right way and the other girl was talking in the background as Howard was trying to get off. She was saying all of the right things for Howard and he was having some fun with the call. He asked her if she has a fat belly like her friend. She ignored that question and continued to talk sexy to him.
Howard wanted to see the girls so he had them bring in Pinky first. He figures she's not hot at all and the other girl has to be hotter. When Pinky came in Howard said she wasn't all that bad. He was surprised to see that she wasn't all that bad. He said she wasn't really what he expected either. He said she's kind of annoying though. She said she's been doing phone sex for like 6 years now and has kept guys on the line long enough to make like $300-400. She said she works at the Bada Bing club and Howard thought she was joking around. It turns out it's a real club, not just the club on The Sopranos TV show. Howard asked her how much she can make doing that stuff. She wasn't very revealing though and didn't say what kind of money she's making.
Howard had the guys bring in Amber and she was really good looking. Howard said she's hot and that's why she's bad at the phone sex thing. She said she just started 4 months ago so that might be why she's not so good. She's only 21 years old. Howard said her belly isn't that bad either. She claimed that she was really nervous earlier and that's why she wasn't doing so well. Howard told her that she really just has to talk about what she really looks like and it would be hot. He said that her boobs are big and she's really good looking. Howard found out that Amber likes to be with women even though she dates men. She also told him that she's a certified Medical Assistant but she can make a lot more money doing what she's doing.
Howard had Artie pretend to be a caller so he could demonstrate phone sex. Howard put on his female voice and described himself to Artie. He only did that for a short time before bailing out on the whole thing.
Howard gave the girls a plug for the web site BadaBingClub.com and was about to wrap things up. Artie asked if they could see some boobs before they left. The girls gave a quick peek but Howard didn't spend a lot of time on that. He went to break pretty quick after that.
Howard said that Arnold has announced that he isn't going to do any movies while he's in office because there's no time to do stuff like that. Howard ended up talking about how politician's jobs used to be part time jobs but they've become full time jobs where they make huge amounts of money. They spent a short time on that and then moved on to the Smartest Stripper contest.
Dakota the stripper is the stripper Artie picked out at Scores recently. Howard spoke to her for a few minutes about her measurements and stuff like that. She says that her measurements are 36-24-36. He then moved on to Nilsa who John picked out at Scores. Howard said she was flirting with him at Scores as well. She gave her measurements which were 34-24-34. John told Howard that her boobs are real as well and asked her to show them to Howard. She went ahead and did that before Howard got to the game.
Howard said the grand prize for this contest is going to be $15,000 courtesy of Kuya Rum. Artie and John wanted to bet one another on the game. John wanted Artie to give up food for 24 hours in a row if he loses but he wasn't sure he'd be able to do that. Every day they picked he said there were things going on where he'd have to eat. John was going to put up $200 to go up against the 24 hours. It didn't happen though because there's no way Artie can give up eating.
Howard sent Nilsa off to an isolation chamber (Robin's booth) so they could ask Dakota her questions. He asked her the following seven questions:
Howard gave Dakota $500 courtesy of the movie ''Kill Bill'' as a consolation prize. Artie told her he was going to give her two tickets to Rigley Field... which is in her ankle. Stuttering John said he knew that Nilsa was going to win. Howard took a couple more calls and one guy said they were being kind of cold toward the girls. Howard and the guys didn't think that it was so bad though. Howard took a break a short time later.
Howard talked to Nick about the band he was in, 98 Degrees, and how that was because he really didn't know the band. Nick told Howard about how they got together and how they'd perform in various places down in Florida. Howard asked him if a lot of people thought he was gay being in a band like that. He said the chicks actually dig it and like that kind of music so they didn't think it was gay.
Howard asked Nick if this TV show they do for MTV, Newlyweds, is making his wife Jessica Simpson look bad. He also told Nick that she is one of the hottest chicks out there and wondered if her boobs are real or not. He claims that they're real but Howard said it's tough to find someone that skinny with boobs that big. Nick said they were even bigger until she lost some weight.
Nick told Howard that the clips they show of Jessica being kind of dopey on the TV show are just short clips from their life and that's not the way it is all the time. Howard went on to ask Nick how he met Jessica and how they got together when she was only 18. He was 25 at the time. He's now 29. Robin asked him if it was tough not to be able to have sex with her since he was used to having sex with other girls. He said it wasn't that tough because he knew she was the girl he was looking for. He said that he had a really long conversation with her when he first met her and he knew that she wasn't going to have sex until she was married. Nick said he dated her for a few years before they got married so Howard wanted to know how he got off. Nick said he's not above masturbation so that's how he'd get off.
Howard told Nick about a friend of his who went out with a girl like that when he was in high school. The guy dated this chick for years and when they broke up, she went off and banged the first guy she met. Nick said he's had the same thing happen. Nick said he and Jessica broke up for a short time before they got married and he dated a couple of people. Howard moved on to the wedding night and asked him if Jessica has any flaws. He said she really doesn't, other than having a little gas. Howard asked him when they finally did it. Nick said they split the reception a little early and went on their honeymoon. Howard said she must have been nervous because she wouldn't know what to expect. He said he made it a special night and did some nice stuff for her that night.
Howard asked Nick what hotel they stayed at. They were at some resort down in Texas. He said they had the room set up before they got there. Nick said that Jessica pretty much ripped her wedding dress off and they went to it. He said it wasn't too messy since it was her first time. He said the lubrication wasn't a problem either. Howard figured she might be too nervous to be ready but he said it wasn't a problem. Nick told Howard that he prepared himself before that night so he wouldn't finish too fast. Nick said he thinks they did it twice that night.
Howard asked Nick if Jessica gave him oral during their relationship before they got married. All Nick would say is that they had a lot of fun. He wasn't even sure if he saw her naked before their wedding night. Howard was assuming that Jessica had given him oral before the wedding so he wondered if Nick ever just said that it was ridiculous what they were doing and tried to get laid. Nick said he respected Jessica's view on marriage and didn't want to ruin it.
Howard said Nick could have been getting laid all the time when he was holding out for Jessica. He's a good looking guy who was in a band and he held out for marriage. Howard asked if they've tried anal yet. Nick said they've only been married a year so far so there's still time to get to that. Howard said there's a picture of Jessica on the internet that shows her getting out of a car and her boobs pop out. He showed it to Nick and he thinks that it might be a fake.
Howard said that Nick has a new album coming out. He was about to play his first single but asked Nick how he and Jessica met. He said they had the same manager for a while and they met through the manager. Howard told Nick that the marriage won't last and they'll be out of it within 5 years. He said there's too much arguing going on and they just won't last. Nick seems to think it'll last forever.
Howard played some of Nick's single ''This I Swear'' that's on his new album ''Soulo'' which comes out next month. Howard said he has a nice voice. He took a call from his buddy Ralph a minute later. He said that it sounds like Nick is already getting annoyed with her. They've signed up for a second season which is surprising. Ralph asked that when they do get divorced in a couple of years to please include that on the show. Nick joked that the divorce is during the third season.
Howard had some clips from Nick and Jessica's TV show where she makes some really dopey comments. He reminded everyone about the clip where she talks about Chicken of the Sea Tuna and how she doesn't know if it's chicken or fish. He didn't play any of the clips though. He got back to Nick's CD and played another track. He wrapped up the interview a short time after that.
Colin said he's been to Jerry's house before and Jerry has done his show as a favor one time. Howard told Colin that he had to get to the news pretty quick because he had a meeting to go to. Colin said he was just there to go to breakfast with Stuttering John and Artie. He and Howard talked about what a chisler JOhn is when he goes out to eat and crap.
Colin sadi the last time Joe Rogan was on the show the guys were all trying to figure out how much money he makes. Colin said that he probably makes about $400,000 a year, not the $750,000 that Stutteirng John estimated. Howard had Robin start her news shortly after that. Colin hung around to comment on the news stories that she brought up.
After the news Howard started to wrap up the show and was ready to leave until Colin told him he's been having problems with his wife. That led to Howard talking to Colin for another 10 minutes about what had happened and what was going on. Colin said it was a very long story and he shouldn't get into it on the air. He said he probably shouldn't talk about it there. Colin said that they're in the midst of a break up. Colin said the problem is him and he was caught when she found an Instant Message that he had saved on his computer. He said he didn't know that his wife had such ''computer acumen'' and was able to pull out the evidence. Colin said it was an old conversation he had and she confronted him on it when he came home one night. She had it on the computer screen and he said he just started stuttering like crazy when she brought it up. That's when it ended and she left the house. Colin says he's not seeing the IM girl either. Colin said it was something in between a one night stand an affair if there is such a thing. Colin said he'd like to save the marriage but he doesn't think that she can trust him. Howard said guys are horny and even though Colin loves her, he needed to ''get a little side trim.'' Robin and Howard tried to get more out of him about the cheating. He said he was doing the IM thing for a while. He said he was only married for a couple of months when this happened. Her whole family knows about it now.
Howard asked Colin why he got married in the first place. He said he thought it was a good thing at the time. He figured he could remain faithful. Gary asked him if he was cheating on her before they got married. Colin said he wasn't, it just happened after they got married. Howard said Colin could never trust her either because she was snooping around on his computer. Howard said he'd set up a fake IM on his computer to test a woman like that. Then he'd tell her to get lost when she snooped through his stuff and found it. Gary came in and said that IMs are only saved if you save them so he doesn't get how she found it. Even Colin didn't seem like he knew what happened there.
Gary asked Colin if there was a bed involved in the meetings. Artie said ''There's no bed in the bathroom at the Comedy Cellar!'' Colin kept his mouth shut at that point. Howard said there's an adjustment period in a marriage that Colin just wasn't done with yet. He said he probably wouldn't have cheated on her five years from now. Howard wanted to know more about this story but he didn't have time to go over it today. He wanted Colin to bring in his wife and the IM girl at the same time. He said he would do anything to make that happen. Even if he just brings in one of them, he'd do anything for him. He told Colin to come back in tomorrow.
Howard said he was tired after working on a bunch of stuff yesterday. He said he was being a mogul yesterday. He didn't get out of the station until 2:30 and then went to his shrink. After that he went out to a power meeting with Ivan Reitman and Danny Goldberg. He said he hadn't seen them in quite a while. He said he needed that ''shrink break'' pretty bad because he was ready to kill someone after leaving the radio station yesterday. He said once he got out of there he was calmed down and ready to go. He told Robin about Ivan Reitman and how he was in town for something to do with the Toronto Film Festival. Howard said Ivan was late showing up to dinner and he knew that was going to happen. He said Beth was also there and Ivan was very taken with her.
Howard said he and the guys all talked about their various projects and Howard told Ivan that he's got something that he wants to work with him on. Howard said they were hugging and stuff when they saw each other at the hotel so it must have looked kind of gay. He said Ivan was impressed with some of the stuff he's involved with these days. He said Ivan also critiqued the radio show a bit. He said Ivan seems to know everything.
Howard said they'll be talking to Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla today as well as old friend John Stamos. There was another person that he wanted Robin to figure out. He said he's been hot for someone recently that he wasn't so hot for in the past. Robin tried to guess but couldn't come up with who it was. During that conversation Howard and the guys talked about Dakota the stripper who was on yesterday. Howard eventually told Robin that it was Uma Thurman. He never really liked her until he saw her in ''Kill Bill.'' Robin said he's going to faint when he sees her in person. Howard and Robin talked about how strange her feet looked in the movie. They said that her feet almost looked broken or something in those scenes. Howard said he loved ''Kill Bill'' but Robin wasn't quite as impressed. He said that there are a lot of good reviews for the movie lately. It's getting 3 stars, A- and other high reviews. Howard was trying to get himself looking a little better for Uma. He said he may even sit on the couch next to Uma when he's interviewing her. He's never done that before. He and Robin talked about how her husband Ethan Hawke was cheating on Uma. Howard said that Ethan even hit on his girlfriend Beth one time recently. Howard spent quite a while discussing what he wants to ask Uma about. He said she was raised a budist so he's going to go over that. She's a vegetarian so he's going to say that he doesn't eat meat. He's also going to bring Sanders the Chicken and tell her that he's into rescuing chickens. He had to take his first break after talking about that for a short time.
Howard said he's not going to have Fred say anything during Uma's visit because he's ruin everything. Fred told Howard that Uma is a smoker which kind of turned him off. He said he'd have to change that. A caller asked Howard if it would suck if Uma was listening to the show while they were talking about all of this stuff. Howard told him that she's not listening, she's got better things to do. A caller told Howard that he's got a brother who's in a coma so he'd bring that up during Uma's segment. Howard put him on hold and asked him to hang in there until she comes in. He said he'd give him $500 if he did that.
Howard took some more phone calls and let some people talk about Uma. The guys talked about how big Uma's feet appeared in ''Kill Bill.'' She's almost 6 feet tall so that would explain how large they are. Howard went over the plan for the morning and reviewed all of the things they had planned for Uma's visit. Gary said he's working on getting a kid to come in pretending to have cancer. He wasn't sure he'd be able to make that happen though. He did a quick run through with Robin with the stuff they were going to talk about during Uma's visit. Gary said he can pretend to have other celebrities to call in so Howard can blow them off. Howard also wants the Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator to call in and thank him for his support during the election.
Howard had Mike start his game so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard got to this week's BetOnSports.com football pool picks. He got Artie's real quick and then Gary the Retard. Artie is taking Tampa Bay and Gary is taking the Seattle Seahawks. Howard said Gary was ready to pick the Yankees when he was on the phone with John but someone must have coached him again and he went with the Seahawks. Howard spent a short time talking to Gary about what time they were going to cover the results on Monday. KC ended up telling him that he doesn't have to wait until then to find out how his team did. He can watch it on Sunday.
Howard got Daniel Carver from the KKK on the line. They were talking about how Daniel used to be the Grand Klegal of the KKK in his area. Howard asked him what a Klegal is. Daniel said it's a leader. Howard thought it was an exercise that women do but he was thinking of Kegal. Howard also asked Daniel if it was true that he said he dated a Jewish woman once accidentally. Daniel said that wasn't true. Howard moved on to ask him about being in the army and how he had to take orders from black guys. Daniel said he had no choice back then. Howard also asked him about being married and how he's only ever had sex with his wife. Howard wondered if he ever fantasized about having sex with other women. Daniel said he's been very happy with his wife and didn't have any fantasies about being with other women. KC asked him if he'd ever do Halle Berry. Daniel said she's a half breed and he'd never sleep with a black woman. Howard eventually got to Daniel's pick for this week. Daniel picked the Baltimore Ravens.
Howard said Jason was over there with Sanders the Chicken who pecks out his picks. Jason said the chicken picked the NY Jets. Gary came in and said that Will is in the back yelling about how Jason should have pointed the chicken in the other direction to get it to pick a better team. Howard said that the chicken must be retarded or something for picking the Jets. Here's the wrap up for everyone's football picks:
Howard had tape of Gary Garver interviewing actor Mike Farrell. Garver asked him what he thinks of Arnold winning the election. Farrell didn't think it was all that great and said that the recall was inappropriate. Garver asked him a few other questions and when he asked him if he'd ever slept with a black chick, he knew where he was from. Farrell said ''Are you from that asshole's show?'' Garver said ''Howard Stern?'' Farrell went off on him for ambushing him like that and not telling him it was for Howard's show. He said he wouldn't have done the interview if he knew it was for Howard. Garver tried to defend himself saying that he couldn't say exactly where he was from because he wouldn't have done the interview. He thanked Farrell for talking to him as he was walking away.
KC came in at one point with a bag on his head. Howard didn't want Uma to see how good looking he is so he made him wear the bag. The Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator called in and thanked Howard for his support. Howard told him he was too busy to talk to him and hung up on him. Gary came in right after that and told Howard that he had to leave early for his USO tour of Iraq. By this time Uma told Howard she wasn't buying any of this stuff.
Howard moved on to the real interview and talked to Uma about ''Kill Bill'' and all of the work she had to do for that movie. She said she had to work out a lot after having a couple of kids. Howard quickly moved on to talk to Uma about the guys she has dated in the past. She went out with John Cusack for a while. Howard said he thought John was gay but she said he's not. Howard had Robert De Niro in his notes but she said they're just good friends. Same with Richard Gere. Howard asked her about his penis but she didn't know anything about it because she hadn't seen it. Howard said he saw it in a movie and it was pretty small. Howard asked her about Brad Pitt and she said she never went out with him.
Howard told Uma he really liked ''Kill Bill'' but only spent about 10 seconds on that before getting back to Uma's life. He talked to her about her kids and how he wouldn't want to get involved in raising them if they were to date. Howard asked Uma about Ethan Hawke and why she'd go for him. She said she thinks that all men cheat and didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal. Howard asked her if it was true that Ethan thought that she'd been cheating with Quentin Tarantino and that's why he cheated on her. She said he knows that's not true. Howard told Uma that he never cheated on his wife when he was with her. He said he did the right thing and got a divorce. Robin said the right thing would have been to stay married.
Howard said he liked Uma's body language as he was talking to her. He said she seemed to be very open to him as she was sitting there with her leg up. They flirted with each other for a few seconds after that.
Howard asked Uma when she's going to get back in the saddle and start dating again. She didn't have a set time for that. Howard asked her about smoking as well. She said she didn't want to talk about it because it's been a struggle for her. Howard got back to Ethan and how her family wants to beat him for what he did to her.
Howard asked Uma if those were her real feet in ''Kill Bill.'' She said that unfortunately, they were her feet. Howard was handed a picture of Uma's mother a short time later so he could see how beautiful she was in her day. Howard quickly checked that out and then asked Uma who her friends are. Uma didn't really say much about who they are.
Howard got back to Uma's problem with Ethan and how she found out about him cheating. She said that she was up in Vancouver filming a movie with Ben Affleck when she found out. Howard asked her how horrible Ben was as an actor. She said he really isn't that bad and he has staying power. She seems to think that he's going to be a great actor. Howard told Uma that the best way to get back at Ethan would be to sleep with him.
Howard said he likes that Uma isn't afraid to take her top off in movies. She said she hasn't done that in a long time and after you nurse 2 kids, you stop taking it off for movies. Howard said he would love to be the first guy to bang her after her husband. He said it would be great if she loved the sex. Uma finally told Howard who her celebrity friends are. She said she's friends with people like Griffen Dunn, Natasha Richardson, Liam Nieson and Robert De Niro. She said most of her friends aren't celebrities though.
Gary came in during the interview with a young kid who wanted to thank Howard for helping him out with his cancer. He thanked him for him come in and meet him and stuff like that. Howard told the kid that he never had to thank him for anything. He also said that the kid was a smoker and that's how he got cancer. He blew the scam when he told Gary he was supposed to shave the kid's hair.
Howard got back to ''Kill Bill'' again and told Uma how much he liked her work in the movie. Stuttering John came in a short time later with some pictures of Uma's breasts. They were screen shots from some of her movies (Check them out at MrSkin.com). Howard and the guys checked those out and talked about how great they looked.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said hello to Uma. He asked her if she's into anal. She sounded disgusted by the question and didn't answer him. Howard asked her a short time later and she said she's just not into pain. Howard took some other calls after that. One woman said that Uma was a really nice person when she met her. She said that Uma smelled great and gave her a hug. She wished her luck in everything she does. One guy called in and offered to be her rebound guy after her marriage. Howard said she didn't need him and got him off the phone.
Howard took a call from Chaunce Hayden who pretended that Howard had just won Steppin Out's ''Man of the Year'' award. He said he's not one to call into radio shows, but he wanted to let him know he won the award. Howard let him do that and got him off the phone a few seconds later. He told Uma how hot she looked today and started to wrap up the interview. He asked her about her Karate skills and told her that Robin didn't like ''Kill Bill.'' Uma asked her what her problem was with the movie. Robin said they took it a little too far from reality for her. Howard said he thought it was one of the best films he's seen in a long time and Tarantino did a great job with directing and writing it. He wrapped it up a short time later and took a break.
Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla were calling via ISDN line from Adam's house in California. They brought up the cock blocking thing that Robin did earlier. That led to Howard and the guys talking about how hot Uma was. Howard complained about Robin screwing things up again. Adam joked that he was about to bang Lucy Liu a few weeks ago when Robin did the same thing to him. Howard said he thinks that Robin is in love with him and that's why she ruined it.
Howard let Adam and Jimmy talk about this movie they have coming out soon. Jimmy told Howard that they scammed this actor into thinking he had the part in a movie called ''Windy City Heat'' but it turned out to be a whole scam. They've been messing with him for about 10 years now. Jimmy said they goof on him with a bunch of stuff like that. Jimmy said the guy is still kind of unclear about the whole thing and may not know that it's all been a scam... a decade long scam.
Howard and the guys continued to talk about Robin cock blocking Howard earlier. They spent a little while talking about that before Howard took some phone calls. One guy asked the guys what they think about Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope ruining their show ''The Man Show.'' Neither of them had anything bad to say about that.
Howard asked Jimmy if he's still banging Sara Silverman. Jimmy is still with her. John Stamos said she's really hot and he'd be willing tow work out a wife swap with Jimmy. Howard gave Jimmy and Adam a couple of plugs for their movie ''Windy City Heat'' that airs this Sunday at 9pm on Comedy Central. A listener reminded Howard that Jimmy was crying on his show recently about John Ritter dying. Howard pulled the tape and played the clip where he breaks down and cries. Jimmy knew at the time that Howard was going to play the tape on the show and mentioned that. Howard asked Jimmy why he'd cry over John Ritter. Jimmy said he got to know John pretty well and he really was upset, plus he's a big pussy and cries over stuff like that. Adam joked that ABC told Jimmy to cry and put a tack in his shoe so he could shed a tear.
Howard asked Stamos if he cried when he heard about it. John said he knew him but he didn't cry over his death. Howard said he thinks that people are carrying on a little too much about Ritter's death. He said he thinks that John may have died of embarrassment from his ABC show ''8 Simple Rules.'' Howard gave Jimmy a couple of plugs for the movie and for their show Crank Yankers which airs Tuesday nights on Comedy Central. Howard goofed on Jimmy a little more about his crying and wrapped up his call with them.
Howard got back to John Stamos and got Chaunce Hayden on the line because he had a question for him. He asked what happened with Jenna Elfman who was fired from the play that John is in (Nine). John said that there was a lot of singing in the play and she may have needed more rehearsal. John was being very nice about the whole thing and didn't say anything bad about her. He said another woman is taking over for her. John told Howard that Jenna is a good looking chick. They talked about that for a couple of minutes before Howard had to take another break. He told John what they were going to do after the break with the game where he was going to have to try and pick this girl out of a lineup. Howard asked John why his wife Rebecca won't call him back when he calls her. John said there was nothing wrong there and he thought that the two of them were always talking. Howard went to break after that so they could get to the game.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that John bought an old Disneyland sign for some ridiculous amount of money. John said it was the original sign and he paid like $30,000 for it. He said he was told that it's worth a lot of money. Howard didn't get it and can't imagine spending that kind of money on a Disneyland sign.
Howard asked John what he's getting paid to do those phone commercials he's doing now. Howard said that's a great job to get because they pay big bucks for that stuff. John was mumbling everything by this point. He came in earlier in the show speaking up but he'd lost his energy for some reason.
Howard moved on to this game he had set up for John. He had 3 women come in and one of them had been banged by John years ago. John didn't recognize any of them. Howard let them all introduce themselves. They had Amanda, Amy and Tara. Amanda said that it was her only one night stand and of course she'd remember it. Amy said he was a great kisser and he wasn't lousy in bed either. Tara said that John was a good lover and he was the first one to bring her to orgasm. She said she'd never forget that. Howard asked each of the women questions about John and what had gone on at that time. John said that the first one was out because he was with Rebecca when she claimed that she was with him. Number two said she met him down in Houston Texas at a hot rod car show. Tara said she met him in L.A. at a car show that she was working at. John was able to figure it out after a couple of minutes. It was number 2, Amy.
Amy said it was a fun evening. John noticed that she had a nipple piercing as she was standing there. Amy claims that she never said anything negative about the date but Gary said she told him that the date was kind of boring. Amy went on to tell John that she had a kid after that night and it's possible that it's John's. She said she got married to a guy and after they got divorced the kid needed a DNA test because he needed a bone marrow transplant. She said when he was tested they found that the father wasn't the kids father. John knew it was a scam so he called the kid over and gave him a $20 bill. The kid was an actor they had in for the cancer thing they pulled earlier in the show.
Howard gave each of the women plugs for their stuff. He said Amy appears on Sunday Night Fights on FOX Sports Net and she's got a web site at AmyHayes.com. Amanda is in Birdy's Bachelorette Party (BirdysBP.com) and Tara is the co-host of Reverend Bob Levy's radio show ''What's Your Problem'' every Sunday night from 7 to 9pm on WJSE (WJSE.com) down in the Atlantic City area. He gave each of them $500 prizes for coming in and gave the kid, Jason Ortiz, a Casio digital camera for coming in.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to the kid about working on ''Spider-Man 2'' with Toby Maguire. He plays the next door neighbor of Peter Parker's Aunt in the movie. Howard also talked to the girls for a few more minutes before wrapping up and taking another break.