Howard said he bought his father $1000 worth of bets at Belmont as a Father's Day gift. He said his father only bets like $1 or $2 on the horses there. That money should last him a long time. Howard said his father was even thinking of just cashing in and getting the money because he'd never make that much betting on horses.
Gary came in and said that Artie has changed the game of golf for his family. He said his wife was riveted to the TV over the weekend watching the Open.
Howard and the guys spent a while talking about the Open and some of the other sports that were on over the weekend. Artie didn't bet on anything else though.
Some of Howard's crew are going to be playing softball against the people at ''The Daily Show'' tonight. It's apparently a big deal that they're playing them. Artie suggested that they have t-shirts made up that say ''Our host never cried'' referring to the time that Jon Stewart shed tears when he came back from vacation after the September 11th attacks. Howard said that's a great idea and he'd pay for the shirts if they get them made up.
Gary won't be playing in the game because it starts so late. Stuttering John told him he could stay at his place but Gary said he doesn't want to have to sleep next to the kids in John's tiny apartment.
As Howard went to break he played a clip of the announcer in the U.S. Open announcing that Tiger had won. It wasn't one of Artie's favorite clips. He said he didn't make it that far in the coverage. He was done watching it well before that happened.
During the commercial break Howard had asked Robin if she remembered where she was when her boyfriend Mr. X told her he loves her. She said it was at a night club they were at one night. Robin said she couldn't talk about it at that time because they were in a loud night club. Howard said he didn't remember when he told his girlfriend he loves her. She still remembers and had to tell him the story. Robin said that they were together for about a year before he told her.
Howard said he was with Beth over a month before he told Beth. Artie said he has also told Beth that he loves her... as he looked at the pictures of her in FHM magazine. Howard told the story about when he told Beth he loved her. Beth had to tell him it was when they were in Hawaii on vacation together. Howard was sick at the time and Beth was being really nice to him and was actually willing to have sex with him even though he was sick. That's when he told her that he loved her. She apparently didn't have anything to say back to him at the time. A listener called in and told Howard that the only reason Beth loves him is because of all the money he has. Howard said his girlfriend doesn't ask him for much at all. He said he knows guys who are supporting their girlfriends every move.
Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com, SteppinOutMagazine.com) called in and said he interviewed Beth last week. He said that Beth really does love Howard and he's impressed. He said he had his doubts about that and she proved it to him during the interview. Howard wasn't too thrilled that Chaunce was interviewing her but she wants to promote her calendar which is available at BethO.com. Chaunce said the interview comes out in two weeks in Steppin' Out Magazine. He said that Beth's Steppin' Out cover shot blows the FHM cover shot away. He said that she's really hot and almost nude. Stuttering John said that the pictures on her calendar web site are better than the FHM cover shot.
Howard talked about the Ugly Pageant he and Chaunce had a couple weeks back. Chaunce said he was depressed for about a week but he's gotten over it. He did have a song produced about Howard being ugly though. Howard played the song which was to the tune of the Beatles ''Let it Be.'' The song was about how ugly Howard is and how he cheated in the pageant by paying off all of the judges... which he didn't do.
Chaunce claims that he has learned some stuff in the interview that no one knew. He said that everyone has to wait until the article comes out to find out what that stuff is though.
Howard's girlfriend Beth called in to tell him how she fell in love with him all over again after his animal rescue yesterday. Howard hadn't told the story yet so no one knew what it was about. Howard had to take a break first though. Artie told Howard that the ''I love you'' think isn't that big of a deal. He said that Howard signed his copy of ''Private Parts'' when he came on the show with Norm Macdonald back in 1999 and wrote ''Artie, I love you'' on it. Howard then started saying ''I love you'' to the other guys in the studio like Fred.
Howard took another break and when he came back he said that one of Stuttering John's buddies, Randy Canter, took Robin's new ''How's Your News'' theme and remixed it to give it more of a rock sound to it. After playing it Artie thought it was ''awesome.'' Robin said she wasn't sure if people could take it though.
King of all Blacks called in to complain about the way Robin makes fun of Howard for falling in love so quickly. King said that he thinks Howard told Beth he loved her when he felt it was right. Even though they'd only been dating for 6 weeks at the time. King apparently told John that he thinks Robin doesn't like Beth and that's why she was making fun.
Howard brought up Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards getting married over the weekend. He said that Sheen is a genius the way he banged his way through his 20's and 30's. Now he's like 40 and he's going to get married. Howard said that's the right age to get married even though he'll probably be divorced in 10 years. Howard said Sheen is the last of a dying breed in Hollywood. He said actors are getting whimpier and whimpier getting married when they're young. He goofed on some of these guys like Ryan Phillippe and James Van Der Beek for a short time before King changed subjects and threw him off.
Howard said they went in and spoke to this guy Wayne who didn't look like the nicest guy. He said within a few minutes he saw that Wayne was the nicest guy he's met. He took the rabbit and checked it over. He told Howard he'd take care of it and find it a home. He also said that it was one of the nicest rabbits he's seen. It was very docile and friendly. Howard said they ended up naming the rabbit ''Lucky'' because it was lucky enough for them to have saved it.
Another guy at the store, Jose, took the rabbit and gave it a bath. He didn't have a towel to dry it with so Wayne ended up taking off his shirt to dry it. Howard said both of the guys were extremely nice. After all of that Howard left the rabbit and said he wants to screen whoever it is that takes the rabbit. He said he's not sure he wants a rabbit for himself. Beth offered to take it but Howard knows he'll be involved with the damn rabbit if that happens. He put the word out that this rabbit is up for adoption and gave out the address and phone number for Petland. He said he really does want to screen whoever it is that Wayne decides to give the rabbit to.
Robin asked how Howard was the hero in this story. He told her that he doesn't see it that way. He knows he's not the hero, Matt and Beth were the ones who really wanted to do something. He just had to hang around so he wouldn't look like a douche bag to Beth. He took a few phone calls from people who want the rabbit. Marrianne from Brooklyn called in to say that she can't take it but wanted to tell Howard how great he was for doing what he did. Artie ended up goofing on Mariann's voice for a few minutes after that. He was doing the voice as if he were a crow squawking out the name ''Howard'' over and over again.
A woman from Petland called in to ask Howard what he wants to do with Lucky the rabbit. Howard told her that he wants that guy Wayne to screen some people to adopt it. She was only on for a few minutes before Howard moved on to some other stuff.
Howard talked about a couple of news stories he wanted to talk about. He then moved on to talk about the guys on the show who have stand-up comedy acts to make money outside of the show. He said KC and Stuttering John have comedy routines but Gary just shows up and doesn't have an act. Gary told some stories about the dumb things he ends up doing at these appearances he makes. He talked about one where he drove a miniature monster truck out in a stadium with no way to see where he was going. He said this weekend he's making an appearance at a condo model home. Howard said that's the worst because no one will show up to something like that. Howard said he knows what that is like because he did some when he was starting out and no one showed up. Gary told a few more stories about places he's made appearances. One place had tons of food set up for people who might show up and only 3 people showed up during his 2 hour appearance. Gary said it was a beautiful summer day when everyone was probably at the beach. He said it's not usually that bad when he appears somewhere. Howard told him that more people will probably go to see Lucky the rabbit. He even suggested that Gary take the rabbit to his appearance down in Florida at the condo model. Howard said they have to capture that appearance on video to see who shows up. KC and Stuttering John also had a couple of stories to share. Howard took a few phone calls about some of the guys appearances also.
Craig did his Gene Simmons impression and managed to get the delay button hit on him a couple of times.
Know-it-all Debbie Schlussel called in to tell Howard that she's got a column in the NY Post today. She went on to tell Howard about what the article was about and even Howard didn't understand what she was talking about. It turns out that Starbucks is being boycotted by people who support terrorism or something like that. Artie did his impression of Debbie for a few seconds before Howard got off the phone with her.
''Gene'' continued to talk to Howard about chicks and mentioned that the Olsen Twins just turned 16. They're next on his list to bang. That got Howard talking about the twins and how he thinks that they may have hit the wall in their latest video ''Getting There.'' He said that they're frosting their hair trying to look older and it's kind of disturbing. He said the videos that the Olsen Twins put out are ''mind numbing.'' He said that he had to sit through it with his daughter who wanted to watch it. He said that the girls are looking kind of odd because they're so short but older-looking. He said they're looking ''Gary Coleman-ish.'' He said he hates to say it but he thinks they're going to go terribly wrong like Jerry Mathers of ''Leave it to Beaver'' did.
Howard moved on and had Robin do her news segment. They used the Randy Canter remix of ''How's Your News'' to open it up. Robin said she actually likes it. Howard said Randy couldn't do anything for Stuttering John's album but he can make the retards of HowsYourNews.com sound like the next Ricky Martin.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about Martha Stewart since one of Robin's stories was about her. He said that he's met Martha a couple of times and one time she seemed to be hitting on him at a photo shoot he was at. Vinnie from CBS called in and said that he was there and she really was hitting on him. She was playing with his hair and stuff like that. Howard said to get rid of her he had Vinnie turn the music up at the photo shoot to chase her away.
Wayne from Petland called in to talk to Howard about the whole Rabbit story. He said that he wanted to call in earlier but he didn't have a phone on his way in to work. He told Howard that he's going to take her to the veterinarian this afternoon to get her checked out completely. Wayne said they have it all cleaned up and combed and she did fine overnight. Howard told Wayne that they have some people coming down to see the rabbit. He told him about the one woman who has pens all set up for her 4 rabbits that are allowed to go outside. Wayne said there will be no going outside for this rabbit. He said it won't even leave the store until Wednesday at the earliest.
All of the rabbit conversations led to more people calling in to talk about them. One woman said that abandoned rabbits are found more often than you'd think. She said if anyone listening to the show is interested in a rabbit now you can check out Rabbit.org. Another guy called in and said that he threatened to drop his rabbit off in Central Park after it ate his power cord for the 10th time. When his girlfriend heard Howard talking about finding this rabbit this morning, she thought it was this guy's. He didn't do anything with it though, so it wasn't his. The guy just wanted to tell Howard that it was a great story and a great thing to do for the rabbit. He told Howard how great his rabbit is and how well trained it is. Howard was surprised that you can train rabbits just like you can train cats to go in a litter pan.
Craig Gass stuck around and did his usual collection of celebrity impersonations including Al Pacino's Baby, Sam Kinison, Gene Simmons, Crazy Cabbie and Christopher Walken during Robin's news.
A listener called in to read a pamphlet about Hepatitis C that he picked up. Yesterday Howard mentioned Pam Anderson's Hepatitis C and someone told him that the disease isn't spread through sex unless there's bleeding during sex. This guy read through the pamphlet and it didn't go over too well. Howard got annoyed with his call because he was reading right from the pamphlet. The caller ended up asking Howard if he could play ''Win Fred's Money'' but no one thought he'd do very well. Howard gave him a couple of test questions to find out how he might do. He only asked two:
Yesterday some of the guys from the show went out and played softball against the people on ''The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'' KC said that Stuttering John was the guy who yelled at everyone because there was no umpire. Yesterday Howard suggested that they have the words ''At least our host never cried'' on their shirts referring to the time Jon cried on his show after 9/11. John said that Jon had the crying Indian from those litter commercials on his shirt and it said something about ''Sometimes I just feel sad'' on his shirt. The guys all came in and talked about the game. John was telling Howard about everyone who screwed up. He said that Benjy, Mike Gange, Jim Florentine, Scott DePace, KC, Artie and a bunch of their hot interns played. KC said that John was yelling at the guys on the team even though they should have been out there just to have fun. John said ''The Daily Show'' people were really serious and he wanted to beat them. John said Jim Florentine was checking out their hot Asian intern because he's into Asian chicks. Howard didn't even know they had an Asian intern.
A lot of the E! guys apparently told Gary that Stuttering John ruined the game for them because he was such a pain in the ass. It may have worked though because they won 8 to 6.
Howard moved on to talk to Simon about the show and how it's become a hit here in the states. It originated in England. Howard said he's seen a couple of the episodes and actually watched them a couple of times.
Howard pointed out to Simon that talent can be fine tuned but on the show they just tell people they suck and send them on their way. Howard said if Bob Dylan went on the show they'd tell him he sucks and send him off.
Simon said that they have great song writers working for them and the person who they pick will have a good chance of becoming a star. Nothing is guaranteed though.
Simon claims that one of the contestants in England offered to have sex with him but he had to turn her down. He said that there the tabloids would have gotten hold of that story and made a big thing about it.
Howard had a bunch of people who called in recently to get on the show to be judged. First up was Deirdra who performed a comedy song called ''Slimy Heiney.'' The song was horrible and not funny so they kicked her right out.
Next up was Stuttering John who has already released two albums that ''flopped'' according to Howard. John performed ''Mary Ann'' which was an original song he wrote. Simon gave him a 2 on a scale of 10 for what he heard. John just said ''Screw him, what does he know?''
Tia, another listener, came in and got some ''Oh!'' comments when the guys saw her huge breasts. Tia sang acappella. Simon gave her voice a 5 and her bongos a 9. Some of the people thought she was better than a 5 but Simon asked them if they'd sign her to their own record label if they had one. No one said they would. Plus, she was 36 years old so she's not the right age to start being a star. Howard told Tia that she could work at Scores and she said she could do that. She ended up showing Howard her breasts. He told her he'd introduce her to Lonnie from Scores.
Fred Norris from the show was next up. He performed a Who song. Simon said he's what they call a ''pub singer'' over in England. He said he has a disturbing face so he could sing in silhouette no problem. Howard asked Simon to give him a rating but someone must have cursed because the delay was hit. He got a lower score than Stuttering John. Fred sounded pissed because he was goofing on Simon saying he has a small penis.
Next up was James who came in off the street. He performed a song and put on a strange voice. Simon said that it was ''bad'' and he was out of tune. He's a 31 year old DJ so Howard told him to stick to that.
Last up were John and Eric who also came in off the street. They said that they made their own CD and they're hoping to be rich just like Howard. The guys asked for a little echo but Artie told them they only want to hear them once. They performed a quick song and the guitar sounded okay but the singer was pretty bad. Simon said it was ''dreadful.'' Of course the singer said he had a cold so that's why he sounded so bad.
Howard took a few phone calls including one from Mariann from Brooklyn who screeched out her ''All I Need is Howard in my Life'' song for Simon. Howard had to hang up on her though. Artie goofed on her for a few seconds before Howard cut him off.
KC came in and performed a quick song before Simon left. He can't sing but his lyrics were pretty funny. All he got out was ''I don't know what to say.... but I think the judge is gay.'' Howard then wrapped up the interview. ''American Idol'' is on Tuesday's at 9pm and Wednesdays at 9:30pm on FOX.
Gary said he thinks that his kids might like the rabbit. Howard said he wouldn't mind having Gary take Lucky. Gary said they already have a bird they found in the playground and the kids have a lot of fun with that. He said his wife is the animal lover and she'd take care of the rabbit.
Amy from Petland called in and asked Howard if he'd like to let Lucky be part of a school program they have where they'd bring it around to different schools for kids to play with. Howard said he'd rather not do that because some kids don't know how to pet a rabbit.
Zolar called in and told Howard he's sounding a bit wimpy lately and he wants to turn him back into a man. He told Howard he wants him to let his python eat the rabbit right there in the studio to show that he's still a man. Howard didn't seem to think that was very funny though. He's not going to be eating any rabbit there in the studio.
After taking a break Howard came back and played a new phony phone call that Jim Florentine (''Terrorizing Telemarketers'' and ''Terrorizing Telemarketers Vol. 2'') made for the ''Crank Yankers'' TV show on Comedy Central. He called this woman Gloria who was trying to hire a drug counselor. He ended up calling her stupid and burping in her ear as well as talking to his buddy about the weed they just got. He's great at yanking people around.
Howard killed some more time talking about some news stories and stuff like that. He also talked about some of the e-mail they've gotten lately. One of them was about Benjy and how his stink is probably from the clothes he wears not being laundered correctly. He apparently wore a shirt during the softball game last night and wore it again today. He said he was wearing another shirt under the shirt he's wearing today when he played softball. Howard doesn't understand how he can put a dirty shirt on after he's taken a shower. Howard told Benjy that he should just clean himself up. Howard kept saying that Benjy stinks but he can't smell it himself. Fred said there was a slight hint of a stink but it's not as bad as it usually is.
Robin told Howard that he wasn't wearing any makeup today like he usually does. Howard said he was just telling him what he was feeling. Howard moved on to Kathy Griffin.
Kathy said that she thinks that just about every actor has plastic surgery. She said the women on ''Friends'' have probably all had surgery. She mentioned Courtney Cox as one who probably had some work done. She went on to say that she went to a doctor who may have done some work on Michelle Pfeiffer.
Howard asked Kathy if she thinks Tom Cruise has had work done. She seems to think everyone has. She said Alan Thicke has to have had some work done.
Howard said he thinks he needs some work to get rid of the laugh lines on his face. He pulled his face back and said that 5 years are taken off when he does that.
Howard heard that Kathy's mother hates him but likes Robin and thinks that she's like a prisoner on the show. Kathy told Howard her mother feels sorry for the women that appear on the show. She said that it would be okay to call her mother so Howard thought about some of the things he could talk to her about. Howard also asked Kathy about her marriage and how that's been going. She said they made it past the 9 month hurdle and they're doing just fine.
Howard made the phone call to Kathy's mother Maggie who didn't know it was going to be him. Kathy told her mother that someone would be calling but didn't say who it would be. When he made the call she knew it was Howard. Her mom said that the show was actually funny this morning. Howard asked her what it is about the show that she doesn't like. Maggie talked about the judging that Howard has his wack pack members do when girls come in to get evaluated. Howard had to explain to her what it was all about and how the women know what they're getting into when they come in. Howard wondered if it would be okay if the guys were better looking who did the judging. She said that wouldn't make it any better.
Howard wondered if Maggie finds the sexual questions he asks to be wrong. He ended up asking her if she's ever had anal sex. She didn't want to talk about anything like that but laughed when he asked about it. Howard offered her $500 to answer the question. She still didn't want to answer. Howard then offered her $1000 to answer if she's ever given her husband oral sex. She wouldn't answer though. Kathy went on to tell Howard that her mother never really talked to her about sex either. She didn't talk about sex or anything having to do with her private parts. Howard had Kathy tell her mother what her favorite sexual position was. Kathy said that she likes doggie style but she gets sore when she does it. Howard asked Maggie if that runs in the family and wanted to know if she gets sore too. She wouldn't talk about it.
Howard wanted to mess with Maggie so he asked Kathy to take her top off. She pretended to do it and then pretended to get over Howard's lap to get spanked. Maggie just listened in and didn't seem to get upset. Howard got off the phone a short time later.
Kathy said that her parents once heard the term 69 and had no idea what it meant. She said she had to explain it to them and it was very uncomfortable to do so.
Howard said the guys on the show once called their parents and asked them if they've had anal and Fred's mother was the only one who admitted she had. They spent a short time on that subject before moving on to other stuff.
Howard asked Kathy about her friend Brooke Shields and what that's like. Kathy told a story about Brooke's mother getting drunk at a wedding and making a drunken toast. She said Brooke's mother also grabbed her husband and made out with him. Howard spent more time on the story trying to cover his ass saying that he's not sure Kathy was even at the wedding so he's not sure any of this stuff actually happened. Kathy ended up getting mad at Howard because she blamed him for her telling the story. She said she wasn't going to tell the story on the air, she was going to talk about Gwyneth Paltrow being a pain in the ass but Howard pressured her into telling the story. Howard said he did no such thing though. She brought it all up and told the story on her own.
Stuttering John came in and said that Kathy's got a lot of stories to tell about people like Andy Dick and some other people. She then went on to tell a story about Jillian Barberie. She said something about Andy possibly drinking again because he was acting like he was drinking at this party she was at. She said that Jillian went off with the guitar player from Marilyn Manson's band and apparently had sex with him in the bathroom. Kathy said that's just what she was told by someone else so she's not sure if it's true. Howard told her this will probably be her second lawsuit of the day.
Kathy went on to tell another story. She said the guy who was on ''The Bachelor'' was at this charity event she was at and he was wearing more makeup than she was. She said she grabbed Ray Romano and went over to talk to the guy. She said he actually put them on hold before they could talk to him. He's completely full of himself. Kathy said that Lisa Kudrow was there giggling as she spoke to The Bachelor and he ended up giving her his number so he can try to play her love interest on ''Friends.'' Howard wrapped up the interview after that story. He told Kathy that she's the best guest because she just tells everything she knows without thinking about it.
After taking a break Howard came back and said that he was trying to get Jillian Barberie on the phone to talk about the story Kathy told. He was unable to do it but Kathy was still sticking around. When they were unable to get her on the phone Howard let Kathy go so he could move on to Robin's news segment.
The caller also asked about what ever happened to the cartoon Howard was going to produce called ''Doomsday.'' Howard said it was put on hold after the 9/11 attacks. They didn't think it would be a great idea to have a cartoon called ''Doomsday'' after that. Howard said he thinks it's still a great idea and he's still got a deal with UPN so it may show up eventually.
Sea told Howard to drop by the chat room sometime and Howard just said ''Uh oh.'' She explained where she was from and how CYAO.com (Chat Your Ass Off) is a spin off from the Private Parts movie chat room. Howard and Artie said they have a feeling that ass of hers is pretty big. Artie said he has a nick name for his chat room and it's called ''Big Fat Loser dot com.'' Howard said he goes to ''Get A Life dot com.''
Shuli called in to tell Howard how great the E! show was with Elegant Elliott Offen last night. They talked about the ''Cribs'' bit they did with Elliott and how bizarre it was. Shuli also mentioned how good Howard is at getting people pissed off to the point where they just walk off the show. He asked Howard if he could do that to Artie to try and get him to walk off. Howard said that he's gotten Artie pretty upset a few times but he hasn't actually walked off the show. They talked about the times that they goofed on Artie when it did get pretty uncomfortable.
Howard also mentioned the times that Fred and Robin walked off the show. Gary came in and talked about how Jackie the Joke Man once walked off the show but not because of the usual money thing. He walked off because he thought Howard set him up at a roast where no one was laughing at his jokes. Gary has also quit a couple of times but he never actually left the building. He said one time Howard was making fun of him about losing a girlfriend and it was non-stop.
Howard changed subjects and said he had a sex dream about Gary's wife last night. He said he was in a house somewhere and Gary, Mary and their son Jackson are there. Mary whispers in Howard's ear and gets behind Howard. She then fiddles with his private parts and asks if it feels good. He went on to say that Mary invites him to fool around with her. Howard said Gary keeps looking at them. He thinks that Gary knows what's going on but he keeps messing around with her. Howard said that Gary would probably let him continue to do that because he's the boss. He said he wouldn't be surprised if Gary brought them drinks while they fooled around.
Gary and Artie talked about some of the stuff that Howard has done to get them freaked out on the show. Shuli said that Benjy is the only one who doesn't seem to get freaked out when they goof on him. The guys said that he has gotten freaked out a couple of times but not enough to walk off the show. They started to get him revved up this morning when they talked about how he stinks sometimes. They brought up how little charisma he has on stage too. They talked about how people booed him off stage down in Atlantic City a few weeks ago.
Howard had to take a break but Stuttering John made him take a phone call from this girl Ellen who wanted to tell Howard how much she loves him. She said she's been up all night drinking. Howard thought that she sounded like she was 45 years old but she was only 20. Howard ended up arguing about the name of a restaurant that the woman worked at. He had to take that break though so he got off the phone with her.
Howard replayed some of Kathy Griffin's interview from yesterday where she talked about Jillian Barberie possibly having sex with Marilyn Manson's guitar player. Jillian is going to come on and tell Howard the story wasn't true.
Howard got back to the stories about people getting pissed on the show. He and Gary talked about how nutty their mothers are for a while. Howard also talked about how little emotion his father has shown toward him over the years.
Howard talked about some of the e-mail that they've gotten lately. One of them was about how gay Howard seems since he saved Lucky the rabbit. Howard was down at Petland visiting the rabbit yesterday so he spent a short time talking about that. He said there were a lot of fans checking the rabbit out. He said there are a lot of people who want the rabbit. He said that there was one offer made by Amy at Petland that was terrific. They would take the rabbit to schools so kids would get to see some pets. (Yesterday he didn't seem interested in that idea) Howard said he's going to think about that idea as well as the other people who want it.
Howard read more e-mail from angry fans who think Howard is a big pussy for saving this rabbit.
There were a bunch of other e-mails that he quickly went through. A lot of people think that Elliott Offen's 1 minute appearance yesterday was his best ever. There are a lot of complaints about Randy Canter's remix of Robin's new news theme ''How's Your News'' that Robin actually likes. Randy took it and made it rock. Howard played yet another version of it that was too long for him. He thought the last version was too short, now this one is too long.
Howard said that there was quite a bit of e-mail about Simon from ''American Idol'' who bashed Fred and Stuttering John when they performed their songs.
Howard took a break and one of the commercials was for PlayboyModels.com web site. That led to the guys all talking about old Playboy's and how Artie knows the names of a lot of the Playmates. Gary said they have all of the playmates archived on the site and you can look up the models and see all of their pictures.
Howard also spent a short time talking about how Governor Jesse Ventura is going to call it quits after just one term. Howard said good riddance to him. He figures that Ventura must have finally figured out that being the Governor was a real, full time job.
Howard took a few phone calls to kill some more time. One guy called in and said he got to see the new Steven Spielberg movie ''Minority Report'' and it was ''incredible.'' Howard said he was glad to hear that because there haven't been that many good movies lately.
A guy who works at the Trump Taj Mahal called to ask Howard if they're coming back to do the Joey Buttafuoco vs. Nicole Bass fight there. Howard said he'd love to go back there but they haven't settled on anything at this point. He said General Manager Tom Chiusano is working on it.
A woman called in to talk about her lesbian experience that she had because of ''Son of the Beach'' last night. Her voice was kind of low so Howard and Artie goofed on her for a little while. She couldn't get her story out because of that. She eventually got around to telling the story about how she and a friend started kissing and eventually got it on. Howard said he couldn't get into the story because her voice was so deep. He tried to get her to raise the pitch of her voice but she wouldn't do it for more than 5 seconds. She told Howard that the story was great and he'd love it. Howard told her to transcribe it so they can have a woman with a woman's voice read the story.
Howard talked about going on Jillian's web site (JilliansWorld.com) and how consumed she is with herself. Howard said it's all about her. Jillian claims that she doesn't have anything to do with the web site though. Howard said she's got pictures of herself in a bunch of different outfits and she talks about them on the site.
Artie said the Good Day Live show is weird because the guy on the show looks like an old salesman who hired two hookers to work with him. Howard said Jillian does look like a high paid stripper or something like that.
Howard thinks that he could have banged Jillian when they were down in Atlantic City a couple of weeks ago. She says that Howard has a girlfriend and she wouldn't have done anything with him but she does love him. Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) from Steppin' Out Magazine called in and said that Jillian really is in love with Howard. He hung out with her back stage in Atlantic City and said that she is more in love with Howard than anyone.
Howard found out that Jillian has had sex since her separation. She said she told Howard that she hadn't had sex with a man during the past year. She hinted that it was lesbian sex so Howard spent a short time on that subject. Howard also found out that Jillian was molested as a child and when she came out with the story her parents got mad at her. Howard thought that was kind of odd. She told Howard how she was molested by her babysitter when she was in sixth grade. She said the babysitter put a rock inside of her for some reason. She said she didn't know what to do and doesn't know why the girl did it. Howard said he hopes the rock isn't still in there otherwise he's not going to bang her.
Howard asked Jillian to think of him if she pleasures herself today. He also asked her if she'd do a threesome with him and Beth. She said she thinks about stuff like that but wouldn't do it because of the ramifications that would come out of something like that. Howard said women think too much. He said he'd bang her so hard that he'd turn the rocks inside of her into sand. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said that they got some e-mail from some lesbian women who said they don't want to hear about Sandra's baby or her friendship with Madonna when she's on. They just want to know if Sandra strapped-on with the hot chicks she dated. Sandra said she doesn't bring up the Madonna thing when she's on. She got a bit angry at the comments. Howard just wanted to know about the strap-on thing. He asked Sandra if she's still seeing women of if she's back to guys. She said she's swinging. At home she's a responsible mother and when she goes out she has fun. Howard seemed just interested in the lesbian thing. He kept trying to get some more info out of Sandra but she wasn't giving it up. She was censoring herself and Howard seemed to be a bit bummed out by that. Sandra eventually told Howard that she never did ''strap one on'' with a woman. She said if she wants to see a guy doing one of her chicks she'll bring one into the mix.
Sandra brought up Howard's girlfriend and asked what that's all about. Howard told Sandra that she's been dating her for 2 years and Sandra hasn't been on the show the whole time. Sandra told Howard that she has a friend that knows Beth and claims that Beth is one of those people who said she always wanted to date a star. Howard didn't seem to believe that story though.
Howard asked Sandra if she has told her kid who the father is since she's not married to the guy. She said she has already told her who the father is.
Howard and Sandra spent some time catching up with each other. They talked about Father's day and about their kids. Howard also gave Sandra some plugs for her web site Sandra-Bernhard.com where you can find out about her tour dates. She's also a spokesperson for Mac Cosmetics. Howard took a few phone calls for Sandra. One guy said he knows who the father of her child is. He said it's Paula Poundstone. Sandra told the guy not to write any more jokes because that one wasn't that funny. Howard wrapped up the interview after about 25 minutes or so and told her to give him a call sometime so they can go out to dinner.
Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Darrell. Most of them weren't even about Darrell though. Elegant Elliott Offen called in for some reason. He said he saw the ''Cribs'' segment they did about him on the E! show last night and started to ramble about his usual nonsense when Howard just hung up on him. Howard took a few more phone calls but it was just people complaining about Sandra Bernhard and stuff like that.
Howard told Darrell he wants to play Osama bin Laden on SNL. He did his best impression of Osama for Darrell and did a little bit of material. He said that he could play Osama and Darrell could play Bush and it would be pretty funny.
Darrell did some if his impressions for Howard and hung around during Robin's news segment to comment on some of the stories she brought up.
During a commercial break Howard said he and Darrell got into a pretty heavy conversation about rehab. Darrell had to go in for drinking too much. He said it's really hard not to drink now. Artie also got in on the conversation and shared some stories about his drug rehab. Darrell asked him if he ever went to jail for his drug use. Artie said he was in the L.A. Country jail for a week and that will sober someone up really quick. Howard spent some time talking to Darrell about the drinking thing before getting back to Robin's news. Darrell said that his favorite drink was Rumplemintz. He said it was like 150 proof and he only needed about 4 shots of that to get loaded. Artie said that stuff really is strong and it has a very minty flavor. He said one morning after drinking Rumplemintz he went to brush his teeth and threw up because of the taste of the toothpaste. Darrell added that it's not a normal throw up either, it's like stuff from 9th grade that comes up.
Darrell is appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club in New York City this Thursday through Sunday for those of you who want to see him do his stand-up comedy.
Howard said that KC and Jim Florentine (''Terrorizing Telemarketers'' and ''Terrorizing Telemarketers Vol. 2'') have been taking acting lessons together. They were there for an hour and figured out that the guy knows nothing. They then decided to mess with the guy. When the class started KC went up and made up a story about how he's taking the class so he can lie to his girlfriend about his major drinking problem. Jim ended up farting on the teacher at one point. KC was laughing hysterically while he told the story.
KC said he heard another story about Jim farting while he was taking a test drive in a new car. The salesman was a trooper and didn't open the window. KC said that Jim has really nasty farts too.
KC and Jim are going to take a different acting class since this guy isn't going to want them back in his class.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said it must be great to have a beautiful woman like Jillian Barberie in love with him. Howard doesn't think she's in love with him that much though. Robin told him she really is because she's spoken to her about it. Howard went on to say how self-absorbed Jillian is. He had tape of her talking about her call to the show yesterday and she ended up talking about everything ''I, I, I, Me, Me, Me'' in the clip.
Howard played some clips of newscaster Jessica Savitch freaking out off air years ago before she died. In the clips she yells about not getting a countdown for her 42 second segment and some other stuff. There's a guy talking to Jessica in the background very calmly as she freaks out. Howard ended up goofing on the calm guy and how he should have given Jessica more crap for her behavior.
Howard said that they have to come up with a song to perform next week when Corey Feldman comes in to do a Battle of the Bands against The Losers. He spent a little while trying to come up with something he can sing. He can't sing some of the songs he'd like to play though.
Howard talked about what he was eating yesterday. He said he ran five miles and didn't eat very much at all. Artie told Howard he had a ''Big Kit-Kat'' bar with a guy who was helping him learn how to use a computer yesterday. Their diets are completely different.
Howard said he got a call from model Angie Everhart yesterday. She was trying out for a radio show or something so she gave Howard a call to help her out. Howard said he really didn't want to do anything like that though. He tried to get out of it by telling her he's not allowed to because of his contract. He ended up telling her that he had to take his daughter out to dinner even though he'd just dropped her off from dinner. He lied and said his cell phone might not ring and he won't be able to do her the favor. She said that was fine. Howard said he went to bed and he'd just wait for the call to come and he'd ignore it. Howard's girlfriend came over and saw that Howard was irritated by something. He explained it to her and she told him to just ignore the phone. The phone eventually rang and he didn't answer it. He said he wanted to tell Angie he wanted nothing to do with it but he wasn't sure what to do. He said when he's off the air he just doesn't know what to do. Angie ended up calling 3 times while Howard just let the phone ring. Howard said by then he was freaking out. He still didn't know what to do. An hour later he still didn't know what to do so he called his agent Don Buchwald to ask for his advice. Don didn't help when he told Howard it was a personal issue and he'd have to figure it out. Howard ended up calling her even though he knew the show was already over. She didn't mind that Howard didn't call because the show went great without him.
Howard said he's exhausted from the night of lies and phone calls. He told Angie that when she gets her regular show he'll call in. Robin said he's going to go through all of that again because of that comment. Howard said he'll probably end up as Angie's sidekick or something because of that. Howard said Angie doesn't know any of this story... until she hears it on the radio. He didn't tell her how uncomfortable he was with the whole situation. Howard said he needs a team of psychiatrists to help him out with all of these problems he has.
Howard said they have a date to give away with one of the girls from ''Son of the Beach.'' Howard wondered how they're going to pick the three guys who will play. He didn't want to take calls on it so he told Gary to just take some of the hard-luck letters they get and pick three guys out of that.
Howard said his show gets no respect. They got a call from a publicist from the new movie ''Men in Black II'' and were offered the chance to interview Frank the Dog. Howard said he hopes that the movie flops because he gets no respect and none of the stars from the movie. Howard said they weren't even offered Johnny Knoxville who's in the movie. Howard said ''F-you'' to the publicist who tried to book the dog. Howard said he's not available for the interview but Lucky the Rabbit is.
Howard took another break and came back to talk about some e-mail they've gotten. He had stuff about just about everyone on the show as well as some of the guests they've had on this week. Howard said reading the e-mail is depressing sometimes because of the comments they get about some of the stuff they do. Someone actually complained about the bass in Howard's voice and told him to turn it down. Howard told the douche bag to turn down the bass on his radio if he doesn't like it.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who wanted to talk about what a scumbag Chaunce Hayden is. Howard ended up saying that he really does like Chaunce but this story he talked about just pissed him off. Gary came in and said that his claim about only doing 4 covers for the Stern show was bull. He said that he's probably done 50 over the years with Fred, Stuttering John, Artie Lange, Beetlejuice and many others. They don't understand why he'd lie about something like that.
Howard predicted that it would be a girl and they'd name it Erica after Fred (Eric Fred Norris). Fred announced that it will be a girl so Howard was right. Howard and the crew were tossing around some other names for the kid. Fred said they thought it was going to be a boy so they had been thinking of boy names. Howard suggested naming it Lucky after his rabbit. Fred said he's really not sure what they're going to name their daughter. Howard said it would be great if it were a boy and they named it Chuck Norris.
Howard wondered if the girl will take after Fred or his wife Alison. They're hoping it's as smart as Fred is. Fred claims to have an IQ of 144. Howard found that hard to believe so he suggested that they test him like they tested KC a couple of weeks ago. Howard said that it would be such a waste to have a guy with a 144 IQ working on his show. He said he understands having someone like KC, with an 89 IQ, working on the show but a 144 is a waste.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Donald about what he's doing today. He said that he's in the office this morning and his girlfriend Melania is still sleeping. Howard asked him how much money he's made today. Donald said that it all depends on the real estate in New York City. He said that it has been going up lately so he should be good. That led to a discussion about the real estate in the city and how crazy people are going for the stuff that Trump owns. Howard said that even the terrorists want to live in New York City. He and Artie joked about terrorists wanting to live in Trump Tower.
Trump told Howard that with the next fight they'd like to do something bigger than they did for the last one. He said they could have easily sold 35,000 tickets to that fight. He said that they may do a 15,000 seat arena for the next one. Howard said as long as Tom Chiusano doesn't screw things up they will probably be back in Atlantic City at the Taj Mahal.
Howard moved on to some other news stories he saw in the paper. He mentioned Britney Spears' sister and how she's trying to become a star just like her sister. She's doing a TV show for Nickelodeon or something like that.
Howard took some phone calls about various things. One guy brought up the story about Bill Cosby buying the rights to the Little Rascals shows and not letting them be shown to anyone. Robin told the guy that the story was an urban myth and it never happened.
Another caller wanted to know if Howard ''finished'' in his sex dream about Gary's wife Mary messing around with him. Howard said he never finished in the dream. The caller said that he once ''finished'' in his dream but nothing happened for real. Howard ended up talking about that dream again and how strange he felt messing around with Mary.
Robin said she once had a sex dream about Jackie the Joke Man and she went all the way with him in the dream. She said she felt really weird about it and didn't even want to look at him the next morning. She said she even felt weird when she saw Jackie's wife for the first time after that.
Howard brought up Governor Jesse Ventura again. He mentioned yesterday that Ventura won't be running for Governor again. Howard said he'll never understand how that guy got elected. He and Robin talked about how it was the ''goofy vote'' that got him in. Howard said that the Taliban doesn't need to blow us up. We'll just keep electing wrestlers to be Governors and President and the country will just implode. He went on to say that Ventura didn't accomplish anything while he was in office. He said he wasn't qualified for the position and that's why he didn't get anything accomplished. Howard said he thinks that we should get wrestlers involved in some other countries governments to really screw them up. Howard continued to goof on Ventura for a while before talking about other stuff.
Howard read about how Billy Joel is in rehab for something. He said they don't tell you in the article what he's addicted to. After looking at the picture of Joel, Howard figures he's hooked on pizza because he's so fat. Howard and Robin spent some time talking about the hot chicks Joel used to get and how he must be depressed that he's lost a couple of really hot ones.
Howard asked Fred where they're planning on raising his baby. Fred said he's getting his apartment in the city fixed up so they can live there. Apparently his wife is staying out on Long Island in the house they have there until their apartment is fixed.
Howard read an article about this new thing called TV Guardian. It apparently mutes out ''offensive'' words from TV shows while you watch. Howard read the testimonials from the dopes who actually use the thing. One of them was from Mary Lou Retton who endorses this thing. Howard said he wants to get some of these people on the phone to ask them why they need it.
Jim asked Howard if he's ever had a sex dream about his girlfriend Jade. Howard said he never has. Some of the guys said that people are turned off by her when they meet her. She farts a lot and has really stinky farts. Jim said they eat a lot of protein and that's why both of their farts stink. Stuttering John said that Jade once farted on his head and it was really nasty. Jim then told Howard about the car test drive fart that they mentioned earlier in the show. Jim said his girlfriend was test driving a Mercedes Benz one time. Jim got in the car before the salesman did and let a fart go that stunk really bad. The salesman then got in the car and didn't say a word or even open a window. Jim said his girlfriend just kept looking in the rear view mirror to see what his reaction was.
Howard then retold the story about Jim having a waiter keep grinding fresh pepper on his meal until there was a mound of it on his plate. He just likes to play practical jokes on people wherever he goes. Jim said when he gets in an elevator he'll get in the back and just blurt out different floors for someone to push on the panel. Then they'll stop at a floor and no one will get out. No one knows it's him because he never breaks character.
Jim said he'll go to a convenience store with KC sometimes and stand behind him while he gets a drink or something. He'll do a KC impression and blurt out ''cigarettes'' while he's getting ready to pay. The clerk will then ask KC what kind he wants but it wasn't him who said it so he says that he didn't ask for anything else.
KC and Jim also talked some more about the acting class they took and how they just messed around with the teacher and the other students in the class. Gary came in and said they left something out of the story they told earlier in the morning. At one point the teacher asked them to tell the class what their vulnerabilities are. KC ends up saying that he's hung like a caterpillar. One of the women in the class says something about him being ridiculous and he yells at ''the broad'' who said something about him.
Howard said that Stuttering John and KC have been fighting over Jim lately. Jim does some comedy shows with KC and some with John. John got upset when he saw that Jim was on TheMurderersRow.com web site. He said that Jim explained everything to him and he was fine with it. He swears that he's not fighting with KC about it. Howard joked that John's only got a small pool of losers to choose from for his comedy show and that's why he's upset.
After a commercial break Jim told Howard how he went to a tanning salon and ended up getting burned so bad he could barely walk for the next week. He said he must be part albino because he was only in for 12 minutes and got fried.
Jim apparently has huge testicles and he likes to show them off to guys. Artie said they were in a restroom on the NJ Parkway one time and Jim yelled out ''Artie!'' When he looked over Jim had his huge sack out showing him. Jim said his penis isn't big but his balls are so it looks like a ''toy cannon.'' He then pulled out his sack and showed everyone in the studio. Robin let out a ''Oh! My goodness!'' when she saw them. Howard just said it was very gay when he did it.
Jim stuck around for the rest of the show and commented on the news stories that Robin was talking about. You can find out more about Jim's CDs at JimFlorentine.com.
Howard spent a little while talking about next week's ''Son of the Beach'' featuring David Arquette. That led to him talking about Arquette's wife Courtney Cox who is one of those people who just won't appear on his show. He and Artie talked about how hot some of the chicks are on ''Friends'' too.
Howard and Stuttering John started working on some music for their upcoming Battle of the Bands against Corey Feldman's band. Howard said he wasn't able to get hold of Fred yesterday so he had to work with John on it instead. Howard performed a little bit of the Neil Young song ''The Needle and the Damage Done'' that they're working on. He only did about 15 seconds of it though. He ended up moving on to talk about a David Bowie thing that he saw on TV the other day. He said that Bowie has some great songs but this thing he saw him on was kind of sad. He said Bowie was trying to be charming and it just wasn't happening. Howard spent a few minutes on that before taking a break.
Fred had David Bowie performing at Howard's birthday show playing when they came back from break. Howard talked about how great that was before moving on.
Howard got back to the confession game and wrote down his confessions. Everyone else wrote something down too. KC had the honor of reading them to everyone. Howard said the idea came to him while he was going through some of his ''possesions'' that he feels embarrassed to actually like. Howard told Stuttering John that the confessions could be something simple like the fact that he likes a certain band. Everyone came up with their stuff while Howard took some phone calls. One guy mentioned ''Son of the Beach'' and how good the first episode of the new season was. Howard ended up talking about how Jaime Bergman is pregnant this season and he's surprised that she actually wanted to do the show while she's pregnant. Howard said that if he were her agent he would have suggested against it. Howard said they play up her pregnancy later in the season. The guys all talked about how big her breasts have gotten since she got pregnant.
Robin was having trouble coming up with confessions. She knew that the guys would know it was her immediately. Howard told her he didn't care and that she should just write something down and get it over with. He ended up taking a break before they got to the confessions.
Howard came back from the commercial break and wanted to get to the game. He ended up talking about Artie's cable bill instead. Artie mentioned this the other day and how he orders porn which bumps up his bill big time. Howard read some of the stuff that was on his bill and noticed that he bought 12 hour blocks of the Playboy channel and 24 hour blocks of some other porn channels. One block was purchased at 7am on a Monday when he should have been at work. Howard noticed that he bought some of the other blocks at 4pm and 4:30pm. Artie says that he doesn't even know what he's ordering when he orders it. Howard said he must be trying to whack off and can't find anything on the channels he's looking at. There were a bunch of days where Artie bought these blocks of porn channels. Artie said that Spice 2 is the best of the channels he orders. He said that when you see these 2 or 3 block purchases it's actually just one ''whack'' for him. He said he only needs it for like 2 minutes but ends up getting the block. He said it's too easy to order the porn. He only has to push two buttons and he's got it.
Howard asked Artie if he's getting laid enough because he's in a pretty new relationship. Artie said with his schedule he doesn't get it much from his school teacher girlfriend. He said it's mostly on the weekends that he gets laid. Howard said he hardly has to whack it anymore since he's been in the relationship with Beth. He said she actually told him last night that she needed him to bang her before he fell asleep. He said he was asleep before he was even done though.
Artie said that his cable bill was $287 but over $100 of it was in extra charges for the porn. His mother somehow saw one of his checks one time and wondered why it was so high. Artie said he probably told her he was ordering ''Oceans 11'' on pay-per-view or something like that.
Howard moved on to the confession game... finally. Howard didn't care at this point how they played the game. KC read one at a time and they guessed at whose it was. Here are a few examples:
Artie suggested that they have some of the hot interns dance during their performance. KC came in and said that none of the interns will get into go-go outfits if they dance.
Howard wanted to get a real drummer but that would mean that Scott the Engineer would be out and the band, The Losers, was named after him.
Howard said he thinks Cabbie has a death wish or something. Cabbie says he doesn't. Howard said that KC will knock out Cabbie wearing 16 oz. gloves or not. Cabbie was calling KC a ''fag'' and badmouthing him but KC just takes it.
Gary said it's enough with Cabbie already. The fights turn out to be Cabbie just getting punched by other guys and they're getting tired of it. Howard said there's no doubt in his mind that KC will kill Cabbie. Some people called in and said that Cabbie just wants the attention whether he loses or not.
Howard said the fight between Joey and Nicole will probably happen in August at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. He said he has a big announcement to make about the under card fight that he'll make soon.
Cabbie called back after his cell phone crapped out. He said he will never appear on the Stern show again if he loses to KC. He said he wants to fight until one of them gives up instead of just a 5 round fight. Robin said that no one wants to see him fight again because they already know he'll lose. Howard said he's got to put something on the line for this fight. They suggested that Cabbie give up his Mustang convertible to KC if he loses. If he wins he gets the cash value of his car and gets to keep the car. Howard said he'll try to come up with a plan and get back to it later.
Gary said that he's seen KC work out and he's really strong. Howard said Cabbie and KC were standing next to each other in the hall the other day and Cabbie actually looked smaller than KC. Cabbie has lost a lot of weight in the past few months.
Howard wanted KC to shadow box so Stuttering John ended up getting up to show him what to do. John almost nailed KC but he didn't flinch according to Artie. KC started to shadow box and wouldn't stop even when Howard tried to change subjects.
Tom Chiusano came in and told Howard that if they had to choose between Gary and Mike Gange fighting and Cabbie vs. KC, he'd go with the Cabbie fight. He thinks that Cabbie is a ''compelling character'' and that fight would be more fun to watch for the fans. Someone wondered how Stuttering John would do against KC. KC said that John is a ''scrapper'' but he's a little too small. He didn't come out and say he'd beat his ass but that's what it sounded like he wanted to say. John wasn't sure if he could take KC. He said he'd have to talk to his trainer about that.
Somehow while they were talking about betting on the fights Artie said that he could beat any WNBA basketball player in a game. Gary said he's going to make some calls and set up a game.
Howard got back to the David Bowie discussion he had earlier in the morning. He had some audio clips from this A&E special that he saw him on. Bowie acts very strange on the show. People were calling and requesting his older songs and he was putting on this bizarre ''radio guy'' accent and Howard found it really disturbing. Howard said once Bowie breaks into one of his hits he's right there listening. Howard played part of Bowie's performance of ''Star Man.''
Howard moved on and said that Mike Walker was nowhere to be found today so they couldn't play the game. Their special guest was Fred's unborn daughter who was going to play the game. Howard said they had to put a microphone up to Fred's wife's belly to hear it. Howard said her name was Susan... and then it was Frederique... but then it was Erica. The very husky, female voice was a monotone that came out pretty funny. Here are a few examples of what she was saying inside the womb:
Howard moved on to talk about some news stories before Robin did her news segment. Howard talked about how airline pilots want to carry guns on planes. Howard went on to say that maybe they should ground all airplanes and make people take the bus. He said that the people in Las Vegas have the right idea because you can visit New York City, Paris and even the pyramids in one town.
Howard talked a bit about Martha Stewart's legal problems. He said he'd like to see her go to jail because she can make anything out of a sheet of paper. He said he'd like to see what she could make while she's in jail.
Howard took a break and played a Mr. Skin Minute. This is where the guy from Mr. Skin gives the latest info on nudity in new movies and video releases. Mr. Skin said there's nothing worth mentioning in the new movies ''Juwanna Man'' or the cartoon ''Lilo and Stitch.'' He said that in the new video release of ''Girls in Prison'' there is a lot of prison showering scenes and Anne Hache shows off her ''prison potatos'' in the movie. Mr. Skin said that the new movie ''Harvard Man'' will feature Sarah Michelle Gellar in a love scene in the opening credits. He said after that you can leave after the opening credits.
Howard took a quick call from their old friend Tony Visconte who produced a lot of great old bands. Howard said that Tony is back together with David Bowie now. They talked about the new Bowie album ''Heathen'' for a short time. Tony said he wants Howard to like the album but Howard said he's not even going to give it a chance. Tony got in a plug for an appearance he's making at Joe's Pub on June 26. The show is called The T.V. Show. Howard said that Tony put together the ''Fartman'' song that they were going to use for the ''Fartman'' movie. He played that to remind everyone what that sounded like. Vinnie Favale called in and said that the new single from Bowie is great. He wanted Howard to play it so he could hear how ''vintage'' it sounded. Howard ended up playing that retarded ''Las Vegas'' song instead. Howard got the Bowie album and played ''Slow Burn'' which features Pete Townshend on guitar. Howard played a bit of that and another song that he snored through. Howard told Tony that it's got to rock more. Tony told him to play another track that was more rockin', ''I Took a Trip on a Gemini Spaceship'' that was a little more like it. Howard still didn't sound too impressed. He and Artie goofed on Tony a little bit but he was a good sport and just laughed along with them. Howard finally got to Robin's news segment.
Howard said that he thinks Cabbie already spent his $100,000 in fight money. He's wearing a Rolex Daytona watch and he used a lot of the money to pay his rent and parking garage bill for a year. Cabbie said he bought counter tops for a friend's kitchen. Cabbie was bragging about how he paid over $3000 for the watch that retails for around $7000. Howard heard he bought it used but Cabbie said that he bought it from a dealer.
The guy who ref'd the fight called in to dispute some of the stuff Cabbie was claiming. Cabbie claimed that John was holding him and the ref didn't do anything about it. He also said that during the fight the ref said that Cabbie was winning the fight. The ref said that wasn't true.
Cabbie kept up the arguing for a short time and just wouldn't stop. Howard just wanted to get it over with and took a break about 10 minutes after Cabbie came in. He said they'll talk about the possibility of him fighting KC next week.