Howard said he watched some basketball over the weekend and said the Laker game was great.
Robin said she was looking at Fred's name change form on TheSmokingGun.com after Howard brought up a news story about a guy who has the name Mohammad Atta but isn't related to the terrorist. They said the guy can change his name just as easy as Fred if he wanted to.
Howard and Artie ended up at Scores over the weekend. Howard said it wasn't very busy either because it was a holiday weekend. Gary wondered how Howard gets away from his family to go to Scores. Howard said it's because he's not pussy whipped like Gary. Gary also pointed out that Howard is also out half of his fortune because of his divorce. Howard says he's much happier than Gary though.
Howard came back from a commercial break with a rap song playing. That led to him talking about how he really likes this one song ''Bouncin' Back (Bumpin' Me Against The Wall)'' by this guy Mystikal. He played the song and talked about how much he likes it. Robin couldn't seem to believe that he actually likes the song. Howard said he checked out Mystikal's web site and found out that this one song is the only one he likes. He went on to play some other rap songs like DMX's ''My Niggas.'' He then remembered that he did a song parody of the song and played that too.
Howard said his kids were away in Florida over the weekend and his girlfriend flew out to California to go to a wedding. Howard said he would have gone too but he doesn't like flying commercial airlines since the 9/11 disaster.
Howard watched the final Rosie O'Donnell show over the weekend and they showed some guy who didn't have any arms wiping his eyes with his feet. Howard said he knows she probably left that in on purpose.
Howard was talking about all of the TV he was watching over the weekend. He mentioned ''Enterprise'' and how he wasn't able to get through all of the shows. Robin told him that the show really sucks and she doesn't know how he can watch it. Howard finally admitted that the show really isn't that good and Robin might be right.
Howard said Beth got body searched when she went through the airport over the weekend. They searched her but let her through with a can of mace in her purse. Howard thinks that they body search hot chicks all the time just so they can check them out. Robin said they searched her one time and missed a razor she was carrying in her bag.
Howard got back to his Scores story after taking another break. He said he got Ralph and Artie to go along with him. After Scores they went to the Hudson Hotel and had some drinks. It turns out Artie brought his girlfriend with him to Scores. He said she thought it might be kind of fun so she went. Howard said when they went to the Hudson the guy who runs it wanted to seat them but there were no tables. The guy actually went over and started to kick some people out. Howard said he didn't want the guy to do that though so they passed on the table. They all drank and stayed out until early morning. Howard said he didn't get to bed until 4am and was up by 7am. He said he was hung over and couldn't sleep so he decided to try and pleasure himself. He said he tried to do that for a half hour but nothing was happening. He decided to try some porn movies to get him off but all he had were anal porn movies. He said the first one he watched had a really hot chick but when they started in with the anal, he wanted to throw up. He said it was just too much for him. They show the act and the guys always show you what happens after anal. Howard said he just couldn't get off after watching this stuff. One of the movies was called ''Anal Psycho Analysis'' which he talked about a little later.
Howard brought up a news story about David Schwimmer getting cut by glass that was broken at a record release party he was at recently. The party was for a Pet Shop Boys album so Howard and Artie spent a few minutes talking about how gay that is.
Speaking of gay, Howard said he checked out this web site called SmallDickMagazine.com where guys can submit pictures of their small penis so people can rate them. Howard said some of the guys aren't even as small as he is. He said he didn't get into the rating stuff though.
Benjy eventually gets around to asking the guy if he'd be willing to sign a piece of paper agreeing that Mike is not gay. The guy said he wants Mike Piazza to come up to him and say it to his face to prove that he's not gay. The guy told Benjy ''where there's smoke, there's fire'' and he's not sure that Mike is not a homosexual. The guy said he's a Piazza fan so he would sign the paper.
Howard moved on to other things after playing the tape. He said he got an e-mail from a Canadian listener who told him that since Q107 dropped him in Toronto their ratings have dropped 50 percent in the mornings. There are a bunch of people up there trying to get Howard back on the station and asked Howard to make mention of it on the air to try and help. Howard said that some of the people in Toronto can pick up the show from the Buffalo, New York radio station but it's not a very strong signal.
Howard also had some e-mail about Robin and Fred going at each other last week after Fred announced he's going to be a father. Robin was goofing on Fred and how he won't make a good father. Some people complained about Robin and how wrong she was for goofing on Fred. Fred told Howard that his baby is due on November 5th or 6th. Howard said a lot of people like the name Boris Norris for the baby if it's a boy.
Howard went through a bunch of other e-mail also. One thing they get a lot of requests for is Robin's new news theme song featuring the retarded singers. KC came in and said you can get it at HowsYourNews.com. Howard said the How's Your News singers will be at the Crazy Cabbie vs. Stuttering John fight on Friday. Earlier in the morning Howard also mentioned that the fight will be happening live on the radio show Friday morning. He said a bunch of people have asked him about that and they don't seem to understand how that's going to work. He also said that E! will run an hour long special Friday night at 11pm.
Stuttering John came in and spent a few minutes talking about the upcoming fight. He said he really wants to win the fight but he can't wait for it to be over so he can start drinking and smoking again. Cabbie also called in and ended up arguing with John like they usually do. John brought up Cabbie's gay sex past and goofed on him about that. Cabbie said that he ''experimented'' when he was younger and now he knows he'd rather be with women. John and Gary said that none of them ever had to ''experiment'' to figure out that they didn't want to be with guys. Cabbie thinks that he's just the only one who's willing to admit it and that all of the other guys have probably done stuff that they just won't talk about.
Howard has money on John and he thinks that if he actually wins it will be amazing. He said everyone wins either way because if Cabbie wins he's going to tea bag John and if John wins it will be like a ''Rocky'' movie story. Artie Lange said he's not betting because he's saving up to bet on the U.S. Open next month. He said he's lost about $15,000 betting against Tiger Woods so far and he's going to continue to bet against him. He's going to bet that anyone but Tiger will win the U.S. Open like he's done with other golf tournaments that Tiger has played in. He said he's going to bet $5000 against Tiger and if he wins he wins about $2800. Artie said that Tiger can't possibly keep winning these things. Everyone thinks he's nuts for making the bet.
Howard moved on to talk about a new version of Billy Squire's ''Stroke Me'' song that he recently heard. That led to everyone talking about old bands that they used to see and listen to. Howard brought up a bunch of bands including Journey and what a prick Steve Perry was. He got back to Billy Squire and told a story about how carried away he got when his song ''Stroke Me'' hit big. He eventually blew Howard off because he became such a big shot. Gary said Billy called them a few years ago when his ''greatest hits'' album came out. He said he blew Billy off since he was such a dick to them years ago. This guy Brian, who used to work with Howard years ago, called in to talk about the old days. They shared some stories about the stuff they did. They also talked about working at WNBC with Kevin Metheny and how horrible that guy was.
Howard ended up yelling at Gary about some inane comment he made. Howard said that every day Gary annoys him in the morning. Gary said he tries to avoid Howard first thing in the morning because he knows he annoys him. The only reason he came in first thing was to discuss Billy Squire. Howard goofed on the things that Gary does to annoy him for a couple of minutes.
Brian had brought up how this August will be the 20th anniversary for Howard being on radio in New York City. He was wondering if Howard was going to celebrate that anniversary. Howard didn't even know it was 20 years though. He's been on radio for over 25 years though. Everyone was trying to figure out exactly how many years he's been doing radio. Howard reminisced about the old days for a while until he was forced to take a break.
Howard said Artie Lange bet on the Lakers/Kings game last night and lost, even though he had the winning team. Artie said he bet on the Kings but the two point spread is what lost it for him. The Kings won by 1 point. Artie said his buddy talked him into betting even though he didn't really want to.
Howard ended up playing tape of Shaquille O'Neil and goofed on the way he talks for a few minutes before taking another break.
Howard was talking about ''The Flunky vs. The Junkie'' fight that's coming up on Friday. He said that he heard that Tom Chiusano has 200 more tickets available but Howard wants to know what he's up to because he thought the fight was sold out. He said he will get to the bottom of things. It's all about making more money and Howard said people get really weird when it comes to money. He said he had to figure out where his money is going if he dies. He had to do his will for the kids and family. He said he's got some strange plans but didn't want to talk about them on the air.
After the Penthouse chick disaster Howard moved on to talk about the hot interns they have working on the show. He said he went to give Gary something earlier in the show and saw that every intern they have is hot. He had a bunch of them come in to check them out. He said they were all like models. Gary told Howard that they don't have one single ugly intern working on the show this semester. Howard got to meet Amy, Dana, Jennifer and Andrea for a few minutes. He spoke to each one for a short time. Gary told Howard that some of the interns submit videotape resume's that are sometimes pretty odd.
Gary told Howard that the interns clothing shrinks as the semester goes on. He said they wear their best clothes for their interview and by the end of the semester they'll be wearing bikinis. He also said that all of the interns end up dating once they get to know each other. KC was an intern at one time and he dated another intern who was really hot. Gary told a story about how KC had the chance to go out with a bunch of that interns friends but he turned them down.
Artie Lange ended up telling a story about picking up a tunnel bunny one time when he was younger. He was with a couple of his buddies and they picked one up. Some of the guys told Artie that the bunny was probably a guy. Artie didn't want to believe that though. He said he's sure she was a chick. Artie told Howard it cost them $20 per guy for oral sex. He said he was second in line but the girl used a condom on each of them.
Charles used to beat his wife but he's reformed himself. He told Howard that he used to beat his wife for things like not having meals ready on time and cleaning the house. He told Howard that it seemed to work for him. He said that the first time he beat a woman it was strange but it always ends up happening again.
While this guy was talking about beating women KC was just laughing hysterically. Charles told Howard that now that he's much more stable, he doesn't get angry about meals not being ready on time. He said it is possible to change.
Howard took some phone calls for the guy and spent a few more minutes talking to him. Charles says he stopped beating about 25 years ago. His first wife is gone now but he's married again and he's never beaten this woman. High Pitch Erik called in and said this guy should be in jail because beating women is wrong. Howard told Erik that the guy knows that and he hasn't beaten anyone in 25 years. Howard wrapped up the call after a short time and gave the guy a couple of plugs for his book.
KC put his tape recorder down for a couple of minutes and some annoying women picked it up and recorded themselves singing in a drunken stupor. Howard said his penis is deaf and even if the chicks were that annoying they'd probably look like Carmen Electra after enough drinks.
Howard moved on to some other stuff after the Beetlejuice tape. Howard's friend Wayne Segal called in wondering how Howard wants him to settle his bet with Tom at the fight on Friday. Howard said he doesn't care what Wayne and Tom do with their bet. Howard has a bet of his own with Dominic Barbara and they're going to settle it on the air at the fight. Their bet is $10,000 and Dominic gave Howard 3-1 odds. Howard has John in the bet.
Howard said that his buddy Wayne is what they call a ''Jewjean'' which means he's a Jew but acts like he's Italian. Howard goofed on that for a short time but Wayne called back and said that he's really not like that. Howard said he was putting on a voice when he called back so he didn't sound like he usually does.
Gary goofed on Sal for a short time bringing up the fact that he hasn't worked in a couple of years. Sal said he lost quite a bit of money when the stock market crashed too. He claims that he's pretty much broke and he's been peddling t-shirts and CD's with songs about Gary to make money.
Howard eventually got around to telling the guys what they had to do to win the tickets. He had a bunch of ideas like having them get over each other's laps so they could spank each other. They also wanted them to cup each other's genitals for a minute and stuff like that. Then the guys remembered that they wanted the two of them to play Gay Chicken. That's where both guys put their hands on the other guy's leg. They take turns moving up closer and closer until someone bails out. Sal refused to play the game. Bobo was willing to do it so he could get the tickets but Sal threatened to kick him in the head if he touched his leg. Howard went back and forth with Sal trying to convince him to play the game but he just wouldn't do it. Sal said he's ''above that'' and shouldn't have to do it to get the tickets. He said that he's a creative genius who has contributed to the show for 6 years so he deserves the tickets. Howard eventually gave Sal 30 seconds to make up his mind. When the 30 seconds was up, he hadn't said yes so the offer was off the table. Howard gave Bobo tickets by default. Then he picked up the phone and gave a random caller tickets just to rub it in Sal's face.
General Manager Tom Chiusano came in to rub it in a little more. He said that Sal has become a real pain in the ass over the years. Tom then told Sal ''Enjoy the fight... because you won't be at it.'' Howard told Sal that he's invited to the Trump Taj Mahal parking lot instead.
After the spins Howard took a call from a woman who said she'd be willing to do anything for tickets to ''The Flunky vs. The Junkie'' fight. Howard asked her if she'd get naked, she said she'd do anything. Howard said they'd have a farter blasting away in her face, she said she'd do anything. Howard said they were going to cut her head off, she said she'd do anything. He told her they were going to whore her out, she said they won't do that. Howard said they'd Bukkake her corpse but she still said she'd do anything to get the tickets. She'll be on the show tomorrow to perform some wacky stuff. Who knows what they'll come up with by then.
A short time after that call another woman called in and said she's also willing to do anything for tickets. Plus, she can fart at will. Howard wanted her to fart for him but she choked and wasn't able to blast one out. Howard told her to come down and get naked tomorrow anyway.
Adam talked about how supportive Jimmy was when Adam's career took off before his did. Adam also admits that he's lazier than Jimmy and he thinks he has enough money already so he's glad that Jimmy got this job.
Howard spent a short time talking about basketball player Jason Kidd's problem with fans harassing his wife and kid at the games. Kidd has been complaining about the fans harassing his wife when she's sitting in the stands but Howard pointed out that she's the first one to get on camera to talk when she's there. He said if she doesn't want the attention she shouldn't make it so obvious that she's there at the games.
Howard came back from a commercial break and the intro bumper mentioned that he'd never seen Robin's boobs. Gary once walked in on Robin in a dressing room while she was nude and he caught a quick glimpse of her boobs. He said that he saw more of her ass though, because she was standing with her back to the door. That led to everyone discussing Robin's breast size and how she had breast reduction surgery years ago. She said she used to wear a DDD-cup bra but she's down to a D now.
Howard talked to Jimmy and Adam about ''Crank Yankers'' and made it sound like a pretty easy show to throw together. Jimmy said he's one of those people who has to approve everything though so it's not that simple.
The guys moved on to talk about the Stuttering John fight. Adam Carolla asked to see John's stance earlier in the morning and he wasn't too impressed with it. He gave John some advice about his stance and told Howard to bet on Cabbie.
Gary keeps bringing up the fact that John is training with a kick boxer instead of a boxer. John keeps telling Gary that his kick boxing coach is also a boxer and he's undefeated. Gary wants to know who the guy is fighting though but John just says they were sanctioned fights.
Howard got back to Jason Kidd's wife and said that she's really a ''piece of ass.'' He also said that if she doesn't want people taunting her kid, she shouldn't bring it to the games.
Jimmy Kimmel ended up telling Howard a story about working with 14 year old rapper Lil' Bow Wow on a movie called ''Like Mike'' which sounded like a real bad movie the way he described it. The guys had been talking about MTV's ''Cribs'' show and Bow Wow showing off his house and cars.
Howard brought up an article from the NY Post about how some New York City cops had to let a group of Middle Eastern illegal immigrants go because people from the INS refused to show up on their Memorial Day weekend holiday. Howard said the story really depressed him because people just don't want to do their jobs.
Howard came back from another break and said they were talking about some funny stuff while they were off the air. The guys were talking about David Blaine and how guys want to hate him because he gets so many hot chicks. They think that getting chicks by fooling them into thinking he's reading their minds is unfair. They also talked about how Blaine's stunts are getting easier as his career goes on. Adam joked that Blaine's next stunt will be not blinking for 30 seconds while Stuttering John throws air punches at him.
Michael went through the history of how he was discovered with Howard. He didn't have that catch phrase in the beginning of his career. He said he first used it in 1984 and the crowd loved it. He said he had other lines like ''Man your battle stations'' and some others that just didn't work for him.
Howard moved on to the weigh in and let Buffer do some ''Let's Get Ready...'' lines to introduce everything. Stuttering John and Crazy Cabbie both came in at the same time. The two boxers were going to be weighed in wearing only jock straps. Adam asked if they really have to see these two guys in their underwear. He pointed out that there is no weight class for this fight. Robin told him that they have to know their weights so they know why Stuttering John is getting pummeled so bad in the fight.
Howard said Cabbie looks like he's in ''prime condition'' for the fight since he's lost a lot of weight over the past year since the Angry Black fight. Howard said he's worried for John because Cabbie looks like he's in such good shape.
There were a bunch of guys in suits who came in. Howard said they were security just in case the two fighters go after each other.
Crazy Cabbie was first up and Howard said his big belly was just about gone. Michael Buffer was announcing everything as it went on. He said that Cabbie was wearing a black jock strap as he stepped on the scale. He weighed in at 262 pounds.
Stuttering John was also wearing a black jock strap as he weighed in at 175 pounds. There's still a 90 pound difference between the two of them and Howard is worrying about John.
John and Cabbie started arguing like they usually do when they get together. John was trying to insult Cabbie by pointing out he has a 19 year old girlfriend. Cabbie doesn't understand how that's an insult though. He thinks that John is just jealous. John finally admitted that he's right.
John and Cabbie said they were willing to fight with 8oz gloves but they're being forced to use 16oz gloves.
Jimmy Kimmel predicted that John is dead tomorrow. Adam Carolla said that he doesn't think Cabbie will kill John, he'll just turn him into a quadriplegic.
Howard was getting ready to wrap up the weigh in when Gary told him to talk to Buffer about this upcoming fight where he has to share announcing duties with another announcer. Howard wanted to know if he's upset about the whole thing. Buffer said he's not upset about it. You can find out more about Michael Buffer and everything he's up to at LetsRumble.com.
Howard said his goodbyes to Elaina and kissed her ass a little bit as he was wrapping up the segment. John and Cabbie went at each other a little bit more too as Howard ended it. Everything will be settled on tomorrow's show when Howard and the rest of the crew are down in Atlantic City for the big fight.
Howard and the rest of the guys also talked about Anna Nicole Smith because she's going to be on E! with her own ''The Osbournes''-like show. Howard said he thinks it will be great because she's so interesting to watch. He described her as a ''car wreck'' that you can't avoid watching. All of the guys seem to agree with him and think that the show should be great.
Howard took some phone calls and ended up spinning the ''Weakest Dink'' wheel again today. He's giving callers the chance to have a porn star play ''The Weakest Dink'' for them next week and has to spin this wheel to pick the porn star that will play for them. This guy who called in today got Jenna Jameson as his player. Howard did 2 spins yesterday and one on Tuesday so they have one more to do before the game.
Howard took a few more phone calls before getting to this woman who came down to do ''anything'' to get tickets to the fight tomorrow.
Howard gave up on the questions and had her strip down and lay on the floor. He said she really didn't look all that bad. Howard told her she had to do it for a full 2 minutes and she tried getting out of it again. He told her she had to do it or she wouldn't get the tickets though. She lasted about 10 seconds before she completely freaked out. She was covering her face and moving around so much that Howard had them start the clock over 3 times. She finally laid there and took the nasty, long, juicy farts in her face but she cursed a couple of times. Howard penalized her for doing that and extended her time by 30 seconds each time. All in all it was about 5 minutes worth of farting that she took right in her face. She was screaming and telling Howard she was going to throw up because she was so disgusted with the whole thing. KC and Artie were laughing hysterically through the whole ordeal.
Howard finally ended the farting and joked that they didn't have tickets for her. Artie told her that she was the lucky winner of 2 tickets to the Stuttering John comedy show instead of the fight. Kristen said that it wasn't worth it to do this. She said she was embarrassed and degraded.
Howard also got to meet Dan the Farter's fiancee Danielle. Howard said she was really cute also. He spoke to her for a short time and learned that Dan is not allowed to fart around her. She said he's not allowed to fart on her or in bed. Dan said she does laugh at his farts as long as they're not near her. Howard wrapped up everything and invited Dan and his fiancee down to Atlantic City tomorrow so he can fart in the ring to kill some time.
Later in the show Robin Radzinski from E! came in and said this segment will air sometime next week.
Howard said Stuttering John's people have him convinced that he's going to win the fight. Artie said he's so convinced he put another $1000 on John to win.
Howard talked up the Trump Taj Mahal saying that the rooms are really beautiful. Howard's buddy Ralph has a room there so he talked to Howard about it while the audience yelled at him.
Howard went around the arena and said hi to people like Mariann from Brooklyn, Gary the Retard, Yucko the Clown(YuckoTheClown.com) and Slow Adam. Everyone was yelling at each other while he did that.
Howard took his first break and came back saying that there was an electricity in the room with the big crowd they had there. Gary said that Stuttering John was working out last night and some of the guys thought that was a bad idea.
This guy Echo man was at the event so Howard spoke to him for a short time. The guy does an echo with no electronic help. Howard pointed out a bunch of other people who were there like Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, Don King and Dan the Farter. Dan blasted out a few small farts for everyone. Beetlejuice was dressed up like Don King so Howard spoke to him but had to hit the delay because he cursed right away. Don and Beetle had a chance to speak to each other for a few seconds.
Howard introduced a few more people who were there like High Pitch Erik, Nicole Bass, Sal the Stockbroker, Spider-Man (formerly OJ Mask) and John the Stutterer who ended up yelling at Yucko the Clown about being a child molester. The Rappin' Granny was also there. She did one of her horrible rap songs for Howard and picked Cabbie to win the fight.
Howard spoke to Cabbie who was back stage. His voice was shot from talking to people the night before. He wasn't able to check in and get to his room right away because there were so many people around. He said he was ready for the fight though. He thinks he's going to knock John out in the first round.
Stuttering John thinks that he's going to be the one knocking out Cabbie in the first round. The two of them started arguing with each other after Cabbie claims that he didn't challenge John to the fight. He said John challenged him and John said that it was Cabbie who made the challenge.
Howard spoke to Cabbie's trainer Al Benini for a short time. Al said that he didn't think Cabbie had to train for the fight. He claimed that he was out eating pepperoni pizza with Cabbie last night. Howard asked Al if he trained Cabbie the tea bagging technique he's going to use on John if he wins. Al didn't even know what tea bagging was. Cabbie demonstrated what it would look like and apparently pulled down his pants to show his sack.
Howard played a fight intro that Gary did doing a wacky announcer voice. Gary went through the history of Cabbie's fight with Angry Black and how John egged him on during that fight. There were some clips from the show where the two of them yelled at each other and other bits thrown in there too.
Howard said he flew in from New York City yesterday with Donald Trump on his helicopter. Howard said he got to meet Donald's 23 year old son on the flight as well. Howard said he and Donald walked through a couple of his casinos together. Howard said Donald also let him yell at some of his employees.
Howard asked Donald about the helicopter that they flew in on. Trump said it's a Sakorski 76 and it cost about $9 million. Howard said they landed it at the Trump Marina casino.
Howard told Daniel that he thought he'd had a change of heart because he was sitting next to Beetlejuice, who's a black man. Daniel yelled about ''the Na-gers'' and how he hasn't had a change of heart at all. He's still proud to be a white man.
Yucko the clown is also a racist so he was supporting Daniel's views. He said the two of them were going to start the Ku Klux Klowns together.
Elegant Elliott Offen was in the crowd with his ''girlfriend.'' Elliott said that the woman was his fiancee and would be with him the rest of his life. He continued to ramble for a short time until Howard shut him up and asked him who he picked to win the fight. He never answered though, he just continued to ramble as he usually does.
Artie Lange was drinking, and maybe a little drunk, by 7:15. He toasted the crowd and got cheers from them all.
Howard spoke to Burt Sugar for a minute and asked him if he thinks John has a chance in the fight. Burt said the weight advantage that Cabbie has might come into play.
Announcer Michael Buffer did a couple of his ''Let's get ready'' lines for the crowd. Howard then moved on to ''Big Foot'' Matt who was in the crowd. Gary said he had an offer for Matt to fight Manute Bol but the money wasn't right for Matt. Gary said they offered him $15,000 and it wasn't enough. Matt gave him another number and Gary said he could do that. They all said they'd love to see that fight.
After another break Howard played an intro for Stuttering John featuring many of his stutters, interviews and fights. Howard said the intros will also air on the 1 hour E! special tonight.
Howard spoke to bodybuilder Nicole Bass who said she'd be a ring card girl. Howard asked her if she can really be considered a ring card ''girl'' because she's so masculine. She said of course she's a ''girl.''
Porn star Tabitha Stevens is also going to be a ring card girl. She was going to fight someone but she just had $30,000 worth of plastic surgery done 3 weeks ago. She said she had fat taken from her butt and put in her face and something done to her gummy smile so you don't see gums when she smiles. Robin said she couldn't even tell she had surgery.
Howard spoke to the guys who would be judging the fight today. Boxers John Ruiz and Dwight (didn't catch the last name) and Virgil Hill. The audience went crazy when Evander Holyfield walked in the room. Howard spoke to Evander for a short time. Holyfield is fighting Hassim Rachman tomorrow night at the Taj Mahal. Don King got up and promoted that fight for a few seconds before Hassim Rachman showed up. Howard got a few words from him and wished both fighters luck in tomorrow's fight. Both Evander and Hassim pick Cabbie to win the fight today.
Gary introduced the fight referee Rick Stigerwald so Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him about what he'd be looking for in the fight. The ref told Howard that he wouldn't be allowing any Tea Bagging to go on in his ring.
Play by play announcer Larry Michael was also introduced to Howard. He predicted that if John could last through the first two rounds he'd have a good chance of winning the fight. He said if he could wear Cabbie out early he'd have a great chance of beating him.
Lonnie from Scores was in the crowd with some of the dancers from the club. He introduced Veronica, Angie, Mica and Evelyn and Howard knew all of them very well. After their introduction the crowd started chanting ''SHOW YOUR TITS! SHOW YOUR TITS!'' over and over.
Dan the Farter's mother was in the crowd so Howard spoke to her for a short time. Howard then had Dan blast out a few more farts for everyone. He was having some trouble but eventually squeezed out a few.
Butt Billionaire (with Tabitha Stevens) winner Jeff was introduced. He wasn't quite as drunk as he was on the Butt Billionaire show. He said he was on his way though.
The Groundhog Brothers were there too. They predicted that Stuttering John will win the fight.
Howard had them play the Cabbie introduction that will be on E! tonight. It included his many arguments with John and other people as well as clips from his fight with Angry Black.
Andrea ''Miss Howard Stern'' is also a ring card girl so Howard spoke to her. She picked Stuttering John as the winner. KC then introduced Kendra Jade as another ring card girl. Miss United States Carrie Stroup was also going to be a ring card girl. Last but not least, Croy the old lady was introduced. She was wearing a bikini and Howard said she was Miss United States 1923.
Michael Buffer warmed up the crowd and did some more of his lines right before he went back stage to hear the referee give Cabbie the instructions for the fight. The ref warned him about the tea bagging thing after giving him the normal instructions. Stuttering John also heard the instructions and said he was ready for the fight.
Howard spoke to more people in the audience including Jeff Levy the guy who likes to be vomited on. Melrose Larry Green got booed when he was introduced.
Howard showed off the belt that the winner will get. He said it was designed by Steven Singer Jewelers.
Dr. Sal Calabro told Howard he thinks John has a good chance of winning if he fights well. Big Black finally has a job and showed up in his security guard outfit. Gay Ramone's ass cheeks were sticking out of his outfit. Kenneth Keith Kallenbach picked Cabbie to win but said he really doesn't care who wins. He told Howard he should have him fight Beetlejuice or High Pitch Erik. Howard ignored the suggestion and moved on.
High Pitch Erik was supposed to perform ''America The Beautiful'' before the fight but he was being difficult and refused to get into his thong. Howard took a few phone calls and said that they don't really need High Pitch Erik anyway. He took a break so they could prepare for the fight.
At around 8:35am Howard returned from break and got the fight started. He had announcer Larry Michael sitting with him so he could do the play-by-play. Cabbie's people walked him into the ring as some of the crowd booed him. There were some hot women from Trim Spa in Cabbie's entourage as well as Cane who Cabbie works with on WXRK.
Stuttering John's entourage then came in. Howard said that Cabbie is 6'3'' tall and weighs 265 pounds to John's 5'7½'' 175 pound frame.
Michael Buffer introduced Reba the conjoined twin to sing the National Anthem. Reba's conjoined sister just remains silent while Reba sings. She was off key and sounded pretty bad... but still got cheers from the crowd.
Michael Buffer then did his thing and introduced all of the judges, doctors and all of that. Buffer then did his infamous ''Let's get ready to rumble!'' which got the crowd charged up. Buffer introduced Cabbie first and many boos could be heard from the crowd. He then introduced Stuttering John and the crowd cheered. The referee then got things started.
Round one was underway by 8:48. Cabbie was punching below the belt within seconds. The crowd was going nuts. The ref stepped in and had to separate them because they weren't boxing, they were wrestling. Cabbie and John were returning big right handers according to Larry Michael. Howard said John was pounding Cabbie but Robin said he wasn't. The referee had to keep breaking the two of them up over and over. The round was over and Larry said he thought John won that round. Robin said Cabbie was getting better as the round went on. Everyone seemed to be impressed with John. Evander Holyfield even thought John won the round.
Round two started and the guys had to be separated over and over again. John was throwing a lot of punches while Cabbie was just leaning on John to tire him out. The guys thought that Cabbie was just wrestling John and not throwing any punches. Howard said the ref was working harder than both of them because he had to separate them so much. John kept throwing a lot of right handers and connecting with Cabbie's face. Larry said that Cabbie was tiring and it showed. Cabbie got in a couple of punches but he wasn't going well. When the round was over Gary told Howard that John almost went down at the end of the round though. He was closing his eyes after Cabbie threw a couple of punches. Howard tried to listen to John's corner people between rounds but it was hard to hear.
Round three started and John threw a bunch of punches, pummeling Cabbie according to Howard. Robin said he wasn't getting pummeled though. The ref was still separating the two of them. Cabbie threw a couple of uppercuts and got John wobbling. Cabbie was also still just leaning on John to wear him out. John was still getting in some good punches according to Larry. He said that John was definitely scoring with all of the punches he was throwing. He wasn't sure he was hurting him though. Howard said Cabbie was almost toppling over by the end of the round. Larry said it looks like it's going to come down to who is in the best shape. Lonnie from Scores predicted that someone would pass out in the next round. Robin said it was obvious that Cabbie didn't train for this fight and he's just trying to wear John out.
Round four was off and John was still throwing some punches. You could hear the ref separating the two of them. Cabbie was fighting dirty and trying to rest during the rounds. John was throwing some great punches according to the guys. Larry's play-by-play was mostly about John throwing punches since Cabbie was just hanging on him. John continued to throw a lot of punches while Cabbie tried to wear him out. When the round was over Larry said John had the round once again. John was bleeding from his nose and had a scrape on his cheek. Gary told Howard that John looked like he was ready to lay down in the ring and go to sleep. Cabbie looked the same way. Both corners were telling their fighters that the next round is the final round and they have to do their thing to win.
Round five came around and they continued to wrestle. Cabbie was still just hanging on John. John got in a few more punches and Cabbie almost went down according to Larry. Cabbie's arms were at his side because he was so tired. John did a little bit of holding himself. The crowd started to chant ''Cabbie Sucks! Cabbie Sucks!'' as the round was winding down. Cabbie was breathing heavy according to Howard. The fight was over and it was obvious that John won the fight. The crowd continued to chant ''Cabbie Sucks! Cabbie Sucks!''
Howard had a $10,000 bet on John with Attorney Dominic Barbara with 3-1 odds so he won $30,000. Everyone seemed to agree with the final outcome... except maybe Cabbie. Even the people who lost bets were okay with the judgement.
Howard went through the audience and got some final thoughts from them. Stuttering John got on the microphone and spent a couple of minutes talking about the fight. Howard said he's seen John in other competitive things and he refuses to lose. Cabbie vanished to his dressing room and wouldn't come out to talk about the fight. All of the people who dissed John got to hear the wrath of John. He yelled at Vinnie Favale about badmouthing him earlier in the show.
Cabbie finally came out to talk about the fight. John said that Cabbie had a really hard punch and he fought a great fight. Cabbie said he still has a problem with John so the arguing may not be over. Cabbie said he's got a problem with the whole world though so it's not just John.
Donald Trump said a few words and Howard thanked everyone for the great fight as he wrapped up the non-stop fight coverage. They went almost a full hour with no commercial break.
After a long commercial break Howard returned to do a wrap up of the fight. Everyone said the fight was great. The crowd was chanting ''Artie! Artie! Artie!'' during the break and Howard said Artie didn't know what to do.
Howard thanked Don King for stopping by. King said that he wants a rematch with Cabbie and John. He's going to be promoting Cabbie for some reason.
Howard and the crew thanked a bunch of people and took some phone calls before wrapping up the show.
Cabbie still refused to admit that he lost the fight. He said he felt like he won and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
High Pitch Erik tried to explain why he didn't sing earlier in the show but he was having trouble speaking. He was supposed to sing wearing fish mittens but when they brought the fish out he ran away from it. Howard let him sing ''America the Beautiful'' but he couldn't get through it because the guys were taunting him with fish. Howard thanked a bunch of other people including Donald Trump and everyone at the Taj Mahal. He wrapped up the show and reminded everyone that the fight was sponsored by GoldenPalace.com, Trim Spa and a few other companies.