Howard also talked about how Oprah Winfrey is buying tons of property on one of the Hawaiian islands to build some homes for herself. The guys spent a few minutes talking about some other celebrities and what they do in their spare time before Howard took the first break of the morning.
Howard spent more time talking about a bunch of news stories after the first break. He brought up the Priest child molestation thing and spent some time goofing on that. He brought up a bunch of other stories that he read recently.
Howard asked Artie how his diet has been going this week. Artie said that he ended up eating quite a bit over the weekend. He was out in Arizona doing a comedy show with Stuttering John and he ended up eating while he was gone.
Howard said he read that Ozzy and his family are finally getting some good money for their MTV program. He said he read something about them getting like $20 million for the next season of ''The Osbournes.'' Howard read the article and said it was written by Neal Travis so you have to take it with a grain of salt.
Gary asked Artie if he was drunk all weekend while he was away. Artie said he wasn't drunk all weekend but while he was doing his comedy people were sending him free shots so he had to drink. He said if you don't drink a free shot people will boo him. He said people would just run up to the stage and give him free shots so he drank them. The guys all spent some time talking about the weird drinking laws that they've come across in their travels also.
Howard said Gary was looking a little woozy from this diet he's been on for the past couple of weeks. Stuttering John said he really wants to win the money in the contest they're in. Gary told Howard his workout schedule for the past few days and he's really been trying hard to lose weight.
Howard said Artie won't win the weight loss challenge because he's still eating like a pig. He also said Mike Gange won't win because he never wins at anything he does. Benjy doesn't have much of a chance at winning either because he's so wacky. Gary will probably win. Artie said he thinks he'll be down a couple of pounds when they weigh in again this week.
Howard took a call from Travis from the band Days of the New this morning. Travis didn't have all that much to say and Howard wasn't sure if he knew their music or not. KC brought in the band's CD so Howard could hear it. Howard played it and Stuttering John then told him how Travis fired everyone in the band after they had a hit song. The guys he fired went off and formed a new band called Tantric and they had a hit song. Travis was just trying to spread the word about having peace or something like that. Howard got off the phone with him after a couple of minutes. He said Travis sounded kind of down when he hung up on him.
Howard's cell phone rang while he was on the air so he answered it. It turned out to be Courtney Love but he hung up on her because he couldn't put her on the air. Gary told him that he should have told her to call in on the air because they want to talk to her about some stuff. Howard said he'd give the number to Gary so he could call her later.
Stuttering John also got in on the discussion and ended up verbally fighting with Cabbie as they usually do. The two of them went at each other for a while about the upcoming fight and how each of them think that they're going to beat the other's ass. The fight is still scheduled for May 31st but they still don't have an official announcement for where the fight will be held. Howard had to wrap up with the two fighters because he was running out of time.
After letting Courtney say her side of the story Howard and Robin said they still don't understand any of it. Howard ended up asking Courtney what she was wearing before wrapping up the phone call. Howard also asked her how long it's been since she last had anal sex. She said it was about a month and a half ago. Howard ended the call and said he'd call Courtney after the show to talk to her.
After hanging up Howard said he had no idea what she was talking about while she was on the phone. He said he loves her music but he doesn't understand what she's saying when he talks to her.
Howard had to take a break shortly after Savanna came in. After the break he spent a few minutes talking to Savanna about some of the movies she's been doing and how she's working exclusively with Vivid Video.
Howard noticed that Savanna was rubbing her naked legs while she was talking to him. Robin told him that her legs were bare so she was feeling herself up. Artie wanted to get a fell of her smooth legs so he asked if he could touch them. She allowed it so Artie went over and felt them. He said they really were smooth.
Howard said Savanna is in great shape for having a kid not that long ago. He said she didn't have any stretch marks on her stomach from what he could see from a distance. He had her come closer to him so he could check it out up close. She got naked and Howard said he still couldn't see any stretch marks on her stomach or her ass. Howard had her bend over too so he could get a better view. He said she looks really good.
Savanna continued to tell Howard about working in porn and how the guys she works with have to wear condoms. She said she'd prefer to have no condoms but as far as health reasons it's a good idea. She said that her husband has no problem with any of this stuff. She told Howard that she actually brings home chicks to bang for her husband. She said sometimes they bring their friends on vacation and they have sex with some of them.
Howard had to wrap up the interview with Savanna so he could play Win Fred's Money. He spent a couple more minutes talking to her about her son and how strange it will be for him growing up with a mom who's in porn. He also took a couple of phone calls and plugged her web site. Howard let her stay in during Win Fred's Money. You can check out Savanna's web site at SavannaSamson.com. You can also see some stills from Savanna's movies on Vivid.com.
Howard finally got around to the game so here's how it goes... Howard asks the contestant 7 questions. He has 60 seconds to answer as many as he can. When he's done Fred is released from his chamber of silence and he tries to answer the same 7 questions. Whoever has the most correct in the least amount of time wins. If the contestant wins, he gets $10,000 courtesy of CBS.SportsLine.com. Howard sent Fred off to the isolation tank and read the questions to Bruce. Here are the questions and correct answers:
Howard replayed some of Rhonda's phone call to refresh everyone on what happened. Rhonda then came in and Howard said she really does look kind of like Heather Locklear or Pamela Anderson. Rhonda said she was dying to meet Artie for some reason. She said that Jackie was getting too old for the show so Artie was a refreshing replacement for him.
Rhonda said she got fired when she got to work the day she called in. She said she caused a huge ruckus while she was driving around topless. She said she was working for a home improvement sales company and they canned her ass when this all happened.
Rhonda told Howard about the guy who whacked off in her car that day too. She told Howard how strange it was when he just sat there, unbuckled his pants and started to pull out his package. She said he hadn't even gotten it out by the time he finished.
Gary came in and asked Rhonda about her waist size. She was apparently a little heavy. She said she used to be thin until she was in a car accident. She gained weight but Howard didn't hold it against her. He told her she did a great thing by showing her boobs to his fans that day. He also told her she's only 50 pounds away from looking as good as Savanna.
Rhonda told Howard about her past drug use and how it affected her family relationship. She spent a short time talking about that before Howard started to wrap up the segment. This guy then came in and said he was so turned on by Rhonda last week that he had to come down to meet her. He brought her some presents and said he pleasured himself to her twice while he was listening to her. Howard let him talk to her a little bit and he gave her a teddy bear that said ''I Love You'' on it. He also gave her a picture of his penis that made Rhonda turn red with embarrassment. Rhonda ended up saying that this guy Jake was a little too old for her.
Howard tried to end the segment but everyone just kept talking. Howard thanked everyone for coming in and got Gary to take them all out of the studio.
Howard said Courtney Love left a bunch of phone messages for him after he spoke to her on the air yesterday. He said that she rambled on and on about stuff that he didn't understand but she did say that he couldn't play the messages on the air. He also said that she suggested that they move in together and let MTV videotape them like they do with The Osbournes. She told Howard that Ozzy is apparently locked into a 5 year deal with MTV at $20 million a year. She seems to think that the two of them would make for great TV too.
A caller brought up porn star Savanna who was on the show yesterday. Howard spent a few minutes talking about how she used to dance for him at Scores and how he got to know her pretty well just getting dances from her.
Robin said she got a huge bouquet of flowers from Sharon Osbourne. She said the note attached to it asked when they're going to have them back on the show. Howard said he doesn't know why she'd send the flowers and then said that she sure loves to spend Ozzy's money. Howard said he heard that Ozzy made a surprise visit to Jay Leno's show last night and gave him flowers. Howard said that's kind of weird because he and Ozzy were talking about how until just recently Jay wouldn't even talk to Ozzy on air when he did the show.
Howard brought up his infamous Jay Leno appearance with porn stars Janine Lindemulder and Nikki Tyler who ended up scaring Jay off his own show. He went through the story about how he set things up and ran through what he was going to do with the girls before the show. That story led to Howard talking about other things that they've done when they've gone out to Los Angeles for special shows. He talked about having Jessica Hahn do a lingerie show for the guys.
Howard ended up talking about his latest work out routine while Ethan was on the phone. He was talking about how he wants to fix his ass so it doesn't look so ugly. He said he's done a pretty good job of getting rid of the dimples and flab.
Howard got back to Ethan and asked him why he's been taking the bus around the city lately. Ethan said he started his own non-profit organization plus the tax hit on the million bucks is 48%. He said he only put about ten percent of his money into this non-profit organization though. Howard told Ethan he thinks the whole Survivor thing is a rip-off if you only end up with around $520,000.
Ethan said he's been doing motivational speeches for some extra money. He said he can make like $10,000 for a speaking event. Howard wanted to know what Ethan says at these events so he had him say the first couple of lines of a speech. He talked about some of the stuff he would talk about and Fred started to play some snoring sound effects. Howard got off that subject and said he heard that Ethan was dating Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ethan said he was doing that for a while but he's single again now. He said he met Jennifer when they were on Regis and Kelli together. He asked for her phone number and she gave it to him. He told Howard he never banged her though. They went on about five dates and no one believed that he hasn't banged her yet. He said they're still in the beginning stages of a relationship. He said he doesn't get out to L.A. where she lives very often. Howard told him he's working it right by not being over anxious to get into her pants.
Ethan changed the subject and asked Howard if he's watching the new ''Survivor Marquesas'' series. Howard watches it and asked Ethan who he thinks will win. He said he thinks it might be Paschal or Neleh. Howard said he realized that Neleh is actually Helen spelled backwards. They wondered if she's named after her mother or something like that.
Howard got back to Jennifer Love Hewitt and told Ethan how to get into her pants. He told Ethan to invite Jennifer to his small apartment in New York. Then have her watch him teaching kids how to play soccer. Howard said that will trigger something in her. Howard said he does that with his girlfriend. He brings her to work and makes it look like he knows what he's doing. Howard also told Ethan to take a picture of his dead father and stare at it while he's with Jennifer. When she asks him who it was he should tell her it's his father and he would have really liked her. Howard told him not to spill something on his lap and ask her to wipe it off like he does.
Howard continued to talk to Ethan about Jennifer for quite a while. He seemed fascinated with that whole thing. He told Ethan to drop by his apartment with Jennifer sometime but then thought about it and said that might blow the whole thing.
Howard wrapped up the call after talking to Ethan a little more about the new ''Survivor Marquesas'' stuff.
Howard killed a little more time talking about the Robert Blake case. He also mentioned boxer Shannon Briggs who was a no-show on last Friday's show. Briggs was supposed to be on Friday but didn't show. Then he was supposed to be on yesterday but he still didn't show up. Howard said Briggs lost his fight over the weekend which didn't surprise Robin at all. She said she knew he'd lose even before she knew who he was fighting.
Howard told Robin about last night's ''Fear Factor'' which featured 3 teams of twins competing for the $50,000 prize. He said the show still has steam and he's still enjoying it.
Howard read an article about TLC singer Lisa ''Left Eye'' Lopes who died over the weekend. The article said that she and her assistant accidentally ran over and killed a child down in Honduras. A week later Lisa died in a car accident. It sounded pretty strange to Howard.
Howard let the guys perform their odd act in the studio. The guys did some moves and jumps to some old rap song and then did some karaoke to ''Old Time Rock and Roll.'' Howard and the guys got some laughs out of the act. While they were performing Howard said that they looked like Jackie Martling.
Howard asked the guys if they've ever gotten laid. Of course they haven't which didn't surprise anyone.
If you want to book The Groundhog Brothers you can contact them by calling 1-610-375-2045. The guys said they have some bills to pay and they need some gigs to help pay for them. Howard took a couple of phone calls for the guys. One caller asked if they have a web site to check out. They don't have one but they said they could get one. Howard suggested that they talk to Doug Goodstein from E! about something like that because he used to manage Hank the Dwarf. The guys did a little bit more of their act as Howard wrapped up the interview with them.
Fifty five year old General Manager Tom Chiusano came in to talk to Howard about something but Howard ended up talking to him about how much he gets laid. He wanted to know how often Tom is banging his wife. Tom said he's still pretty active and he might be getting it two times a week. Howard said that was pretty good for a 55 year old guy. Howard also asked him if he ever pleasures himself. Tom said he doesn't do that anymore. He said he just decided to stop but he didn't really have a reason for it. He religion might have had a little bit to do with giving it up but it wasn't the main reason. Howard said this just proves that Tom really is the most boring guy he knows.
Tom has a problem with the way KC washes his hands in the bathroom. He said that KC turns the water on full blast, soaps up his hands, rinses them and then gets a towel to dry his hands. Then he turns off the water with the towel. So Tom thinks that the water is running too long. KC said that the spigots are dirty before he washes his hands so he's not going to touch them after he washes. Tom just wants the water to be turned off sooner because there is a drought in the New York area.
KC said that Tom sings when he's going to the bathroom and he heard him singing ''Lightning Crashes'' one day while he was taking a dump. Howard wanted Tom to sing for him but he refused.
Gary had his weekly tabloid stories to talk about this morning. He goes through the tabloid magazines and picks out a few stories to talk about on the air. He mentioned a quick story about ''Grandpa'' Al Lewis who is 92 and claims that he still has sex and doesn't need Viagra to get it up. He also brought up Tawny Kitaen and how wacky she's gotten lately. The article had quotes from Tawny's nanny and some disturbing information about how she may be suicidal. Howard said Tawny used to be the hottest chick that he would have died for. Now she looks like Linda Blair in ''The Exorcist.''
Gary also read that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt want to have a child but they have to give up their pot smoking. According to the article Jennifer has given up the pot smoking but Brad has only agreed to not smoke inside the house.
Gary also talked about some of the things that rock stars demand when they're on tour. He went through a couple of groups and singers who have odd demands. Howard took a few phone calls and killed some more time talking about a bunch of other things too.
Gerard told Howard that he used to be a comic book writer also. He said that he wrote some Batman and Green Lantern comic books. Howard told him he's got an idea for a new character... Invisible Rapist. Robin asked Howard who he would help. Howard said the guy would help himself to anyone he wants. He also said that vaginosis is Invisible Rapists Kryptonite.
Howard only spent about 5 minutes talking to the guys before getting off the phone so he could talk to Debbie Schlussel.
Gary came in and said he heard that Debbie called Rosie O'Donnell a ''freak'' while she was at the convention. Debbie explained why she did that and it had nothing to do with Rosie being gay like some people said it did. She explained how Rosie is a big phony when she says certain things and does certain things. She said Rosie is one of the celebrities out there trying to stop people from owning guns. She also mentioned that Courtney Love has also started her own anti-gun thing which was news to Howard.
After getting off the phone with Debbie, Artie Lange did his Debbie impression and had Howard laughing for quite a while. Artie exaggerates the way Debbie emphasizes her thoughts. Howard said Artie could do that for the rest of the show and he'd be laughing.
Howard brought up the Bally's Total Fitness Weight Loss Challenge. Artie said he avoided going to the Yankee game last night so he wouldn't eat and drink like he does every other time.
Howard took a couple of phone calls from people who were correcting Gary's screw up. There were also some people who welcomed Howard back to the air down there.
Howard said his show has been getting very good ratings around the country but you'll never read about that in the news. He didn't mention any numbers but said they did well in many of the markets he's in.
Howard talked about how he's got three and a half years left on his current radio contract and he's still planning on getting out of radio at the end of it. He said he's done with it and there's no amount of money that his company could offer him that would make him stay. He claims to have a movie he's going to direct and some other things to do after radio. Howard then went on to talk about how great he is and how his fans all got to hear how great he was while he was on the air.
Howard said he and the crew got to see the new ''Spider-Man'' movie. He said that Artie and his girlfriend were there and they were holding hands the whole time. Gary said Howard was very cuddly with his girlfriend too. Robin and her ''Mr. X'' looked like a couple that had been married for 10 years according to Gary. Gary and Howard talked about how close Robin and Mr. X are even though they're not married.
Crazy Cabbie called in and complained about everyone talking about his ''personal business'' (his new car) because someone keyed his car while he was at a car wash yesterday. Gary wondered how it was his fault that someone keyed his car when it could have been a variety of reasons that someone would do damage to it. Robin said her vehicle has been keyed also and no one really knew what she was driving. Howard said he's also had vehicles scratched that way also.
Cabbie told Howard that he wants to bet him $100,000 that he'll beat Stuttering John. Howard already has a $10,000 bet saying that John will win. He wasn't willing to bet Cabbie the $100,000. Cabbie said the money it up for grabs but it has to be a serious bet. Howard told Cabbie he'd find someone to take that bet for him.
Cabbie got a plug in for the sponsor he's been doing commercials for lately. He said this Trim Spa weight loss stuff has changed his life. He said he's lost 70 pounds on the stuff and it's changed his life.
Howard was hyping up his own acting abilities. He was telling everyone about the bad scripts the gets and how he'd love to do another good movie. He said that he's a great actor and said that he is just as good as, if not better, than Tom Hanks, Al Pacino, Liam Nieson, Samuel L. Jackson, Dustin Hoffman and a few other great actors. He said that Robert De Niro is one actor who is actually better than him. Howard wouldn't talk about any movie's he's turned down because he still wants to get other offers. He doesn't want to bad mouth any of the movie's he's turned down.
After talking about what happened before the movie he gave his review. He said that in his opinion it was a ''terrific movie.'' He said it had a good story, great special effects and great costumes. He said Tobey Maguire played his part well and Kirsten Dunst was good in her part. He even liked Willem Defoe as the Green Goblin. Howard said he's going to see it again.
Robin didn't like the movie quite as much as Howard though. She said she felt it was a little slow in certain parts. She did agree that the special effects were pretty good though. She said she'd give it 2.5 stars out of 4 if she had to rate it. Howard said he'd give it 3.5. Most of the guys in the studio agreed with Howard that it was a 3.5.
Howard took a break and when he came back he said he spent the break answering questions about Spider-Man. Howard said he was fielding questions from everyone about the comic book character and answering them all. Gary said it was kind of odd because Howard knows so much about the character. Someone asked him if Spider-Man knows about Superman. Howard said he does reference him in the comic books sometimes in a mocking way.
One of the guy's said that they know someone who is in prison and that's where this is all coming from. They said that their father is in jail for embezzlement. The twin that punched the glass, Eric, said that he got into an altercation with a police officer one time. He was driving a stolen car at the time. He's also the one who was suffering from Manic Depression at the time. He said he's gotten better since then though... but he did punch that picture in the green room.
Eric said he got two months for the ''altercation'' with the cop. He thinks that was too much time for the crime. Howard said he doesn't think it was too much because it was a violent crime in his opinion. The Twins said that they're in a political action group that want to change the laws concerning the three strikes law. They gave Howard some examples of people who have gotten life in prison for non-violent crimes. They said that someone could have committed a felony 20 years ago and then commit another crime today and get life in prison. Gary told the guys that he's 41 years old and he has no felony crimes on his record. He said that people should just obey the law.
Howard let a few phone callers yell at the Twins. Most of the callers didn't want to hear about what these guys were yelling about. One caller was on their side and tried to talk to Howard about what they were doing.
Artie said that he has one strike against him in California so he doesn't even speed when he's there. He said the three strikes law scares him so much that he tries not to break any laws. Howard told the Twins that he believes in the law and doesn't think that it should matter if it was a violent crime or not. The Twins kept yelling about the ''non-violent'' thing over and over again during the interview. It didn't seem to matter to Howard or Gary though.
The Jesus Twins wrote a song for this cause they're defending. They told Howard they were told that Howard was going to play the whole song on the air. Howard said he wasn't going to play the whole thing though. Howard started to play the song and stopped it about 30 seconds in. He asked if he really had to play the whole thing. The guys just told him to finish it. Howard said he liked everything but the lyrics. Howard said there should be a three strikes law in the music industry. Three bad songs and you're out.
Gary wanted Howard to stop playing the song because it was so bad. The Twins said that there are people in prison who have to hear it though.
Mob informant Henry Hill called in (drunk) to talk about this thing but Howard ended up hanging up on him before he could say much. Crazy Cabbie also called in and called the guys idiots. Howard also hung up on him and played little bits of their song again. Stuttering John was laughing at the song and he said the singing was just horrible.
Howard wrapped up the interview and gave them a couple of plugs for their web sites. You can find out more about The Jesus Twins at TheJesusTwins.com and more info on their cause can be found at Amend3Strikes.org
Howard said Benjy looked fatter than ever this morning. Mike Gange said that Benjy left a message on his answering machine saying that he wanted to give up on the diet. He denied saying that though.
Howard said Mike Gange was benefiting the most from this diet. He said Gange was looking pretty good.
Howard had the people from Bally's Total Fitness in the studio to do the official weigh ins. Howard gave a wrap up of the weights through the past couple of weeks and had each guy weigh in. Here's how the weigh ins have gone so far. Listed first are the newest weights, then the previous weights from the other weigh ins:
Howard spent a few minutes talking about how even though Gange is close to Benjy he'll still lose this challenge because he's such a loser. Gange told Howard that he's going to win this thing though. He yelled ''I'm not a loser!'' a few times as Howard was calling him names.
Howard told Erik that he was going to kick him off the show if he didn't wear these ''fish mittens'' that they had for him. Erik was ready to walk off the show but Howard kept giving him the chance to save his spot on the show. After 10 minutes Howard finally convinced Erik to wear one ''fish mitten'' for five seconds. Erik kept asking if he had to touch the fish while he was wearing it. Howard told him he had to make sure it didn't come off his hand for that five seconds. Erik also managed to get the chance to stick around during Robin's news if he wore the mitten. Doug from E! had the fish ready to go and started moving it toward Erik. Erik kept yelling out in his high-pitched Mickey Mouse voice ''You're pressuring me! You're pressuring me!'' until he stopped. Erik finally rolled up his sleeve and let the guys put the fish on his hand. While it was there you could hear KC and the other guys laughing at Erik as he squirmed around with the fish on his hand. He kept it on for the full 5 seconds so he didn't get kicked off the show. He also got to stick around to hang out for Robin's news segment.
After taking a break Howard had Erik come back in the studio. He had his hand taped up because he said the fish scratched his hand and it was bleeding. Howard told him he was nuts and it was probably just fish blood on his hand. Howard said that maybe the fish did scratch him and he'll turn into Fish-Man like Spider-Man did when the spider bit him.
Eric interrupted Robin a couple of times with dumb questions and comments about some of the stuff she was talking about.
Wendy the Retard called in and told Erik to get over his fish phobia. Erik said he thinks he did get over it today. Howard then asked Wendy a bunch of questions which she said ''yes'' to no matter what it was. He asked her if she was raped by John Sykes, the head of Infinity Radio, like he did a couple of times in the past. Of course Wendy said ''yes'' like Howard taught her to do one time. Howard let Wendy give a few shout-outs to people before he got off the phone with her.
Howard brought up how Robin didn't think that Kirsten Dunst was the right girl for the part she plays in ''Spider-Man.'' Howard said he thought she was good because she was a ''normal'' looking girl. Robin said she didn't think she was even good looking as a ''normal'' girl. She seems to think she was just totally wrong for the part.
Gary came in and talked to Howard about Tobey Maguire who plays the part of Spider-Man. Gary said he read that Tobey is one of the worst people to ask for an autograph from. Howard said he'll have to ask him about that when he comes in later in the morning.
Howard brought up this play that Stuttering John's wife co-wrote called ''Birdy's Bachelorette Party.'' The play is opening soon and Stuttering John is hoping it hits big so he can get a bigger apartment. Howard brought up this woman Melissa who is in the play. She's the girlfriend of Gary's friend Ross and she's pretty hot according to Stuttering John. Howard told the story about how Ross met the woman. Howard said she was a blind date that he was set up with one night. Howard said she met everyone at a restaurant. Howard said they all planned to toast Ross when she got to the restaurant and they made up some stories about him to impress her. It worked and they've been together ever since.
Gary talked about how much he had to drink before they got to the play. He had been fasting for weeks before that. Then he had a ton to drink before they even got to the play. Howard said Gary got out on his own and had to have fun and that's why this happened. John said that Gary came out of the bathroom with puke stains all over his shirt. John said the guys at E! had taken pictures of him and you can see the stains on his shirt. Howard told the guys to put that up on HowardStern.com. Gary said this is the only place where that happens.
Howard said he heard Gary barfed all over the place and people had to clean it up. Gary said he didn't bother anyone. Fred was playing Beetlejuice puking sounds and Howard had to ask him to stop. Gary said he actually threw up in the sink because there were people in the bathroom.
Howard mentioned that the woman who invented the Barbie doll died recently. He had a commercial parody ready to go when he brought that up. It was for a ''Rigormortis Barbie and Necrophiliac Ken'' doll set.
Howard saw a picture of Britney Spears smoking a cigarette in an article (in the NY Post) he read and he said it was a really sexy picture. He read the article that talks about how Britney talks about how she doesn't believe in smoking but they have the picture of her doing it. Howard said he doesn't like smoking but the picture of Britney doing something bad was turning him on.
A woman called in and told Howard that he needs to be a little more edgy than he's been lately. Howard ended up yelling at her for calling in to rag on him.
Howard read a letter he got from the people at Bayer aspirin. Howard mentioned them during a conversation about actor Robert Urich who passed away recently. Howard had played tape of Urich talking about how he was dropped by some advertisers after he found out he had cancer. The people at Bayer just wanted to clarify the facts. They told Howard they'd dropped Urich before he was diagnosed with cancer so what they talked about on the air was wrong.
This guy Joey Boots who has been on the show a couple of times called in to say that he made some prank calls to Jeff and actually heard Jeff yelling at his parents one time. He said he was talking to Jeff's parents telling them they need to get Jeff some help. He said Jeff ended up yelling at them while he was on the phone with them. Jeff said he doesn't remember that happening though.
Howard let Jeff give out his e-mail address because he's still looking for women, over the age of 21, to vomit on him. You can contact him at WomenVomitOnMe@yahoo.com. You can also read about him on DeansPlanet.com.
Howard also answered a few Spider-Man questions for Chaunce and the guys on the show before taking a break. After the break Howard covered a few news stories that they've missed in recent weeks. He also brought up David Cassidy's new album and goofed on that for a few minutes. Howard said he'd like to take his band on in a Battle of the Bands like he's done with a bunch of other celebrity bands.
Howard quickly mentioned a bunch of strange scholarships that are available at colleges around the country. He mentioned a couple including scholarships for left handed people, people who knit, people with the last name of Gatlin or Gatling and people who are tall. Howard thought some of those were pretty odd. Gary came in and said he got a $200 scholarship from the Janitors at the college he went to. He said they gave it to him for having the highest grades or something like that.
Mary told Howard that she and her husband still have anal sex most of the time because she really enjoys it. There were a couple of callers who said this is a great thing because it is one way for a guy to get a girl who doesn't want to lose her virginity. Howard also agrees with it and said it's great for women who are sluts but don't want to be dirty. Mary told Howard that oral sex isn't okay with her either. She said that's not a natural thing for people to do so she has advised her daughter not to do that.
Howard told Mary he backs her up on this idea but he wouldn't want his own daughters doing anything sexually. He thanked her for calling and wrapped up the call.
Howard said he first met Tobey on the Tonight Show years ago. At the time he didn't know much about Tobey and he never imagined that he'd become Spider-Man. Tobey came in and Howard asked him if he's going to embrace this part better than Michael Keaton did with Batman. Tobey is signed to do at least 3 Spider-Man movies and he says he's not afraid of being type-cast so he will embrace the part. He told Howard that they're going to start shooting the next Spider-Man in sometime early in 2003. He said they spent quite a while working on the first one so it takes quite a while to complete the movies.
Howard read that Tobey made $4 million for the first one and will make a reported $26 million for the next 2. Tobey said he couldn't talk about that stuff so there was no confirmation from him.
Howard said Tobey was pretty muscular for the movie so he asked him what he had to do to get that built up. Tobey said he worked out for 5 months before the movie.
Howard went on to say that Tobey did a great move to get chicks after appearing in ''Cider House Rules'' and ''Wonder Boys.'' Howard said Tobey went back to acting class after being in two big movies and it was probably just to get some ''poon.'' Tobey just laughed when Howard brought that up. Tobey said there were some attractive women in the classes but he didn't say if he got laid or not.
Howard also asked Tobey about falling for Kirsten Dunst while working with her on ''Spider-Man.'' Tobey wouldn't say anything about banging her, he just said that they were ''friends'' while they worked together. Howard was asking him how long it took to get her and if he ever did her while he was in his costume. Tobey wouldn't say though.
Howard said Tobey must be exhausted from banging Hollywood starlets. Tobey just laughed.
Howard went on to talk to Tobey more about the movie and eventually asked him about his autograph signing. Howard read that Tobey is the worst for getting autographs from. Tobey told Howard that he doesn't like to sign autographs for these people who are trying to make money off his signature. He said if a little kid or a real fan comes up to him he'll sign for them.
Howard took a few phone calls for Tobey. One of the callers was Howard's buddy Ralph. Ralph said he's seen ''Spider-Man'' twice already and it was even better the second time. He did have a couple of problems with the movie that he talked about though. He said he didn't like the way they put Macy Gray in the movie and the Dr. Pepper product placement was so much that it was actually funny. He also felt that Willem Defoe was a little over the top in his part.
Howard took a call from a guy who had some Spider-Man trivia questions. He asked a bunch of them but Howard and Tobey didn't know most of the answers. They each knew a couple of them but it was pretty hard core fan stuff.
Howard kept trying to get Tobey to talk about banging Kirsten Dunst but he wouldn't come around. Howard said he thinks that Tobey got her before principal photography even started on the movie.
Howard wrapped up the interview and told Tobey not to get too big to come back on the show like some other people have done. Director James Cameron was one example Robin brought up. He was on the show before the release of ''Titanic'' and they haven't seen him since.
Bob told Howard about his new web site and what will be on it. He also told Howard that he has to have a hernia operation because he's been banging his girlfriend so much. Howard guessed that he must have been picking up his girlfriend while he was banging her or something to have gotten a hernia. Bob said it was either that or running away from his ex-wife.
Bob talked about his girlfriend and his daughter for a little while also. Howard then had Robin move on to her news. Bob sat in and commented on some of the stories while he was there. Bob will be doing a bunch of comedy appearances in the near future and you can find out more about that at RobertSchimmel.com.
Howard talked about some of the reviews he's read about the new ''Spider-Man.'' Howard gave it a 3.5 (out of 4) star rating and the other reviews he's read have been giving it the same thing. He also said that it will probably make $100 million it's first weekend and the reviewers seem to agree with him because they're saying the same thing.
Howard said the big story to talk about was the President Clinton trying to get his own talk show. Howard goofed on that for a short time before moving on to talk about how Rosie O'Donnell is leaving her show soon. Rosie sang a lame song about her 3 week countdown which Howard goofed on. He also played a new bit that they put together for the ''Rosie Farewell Special.''
Howard said someone ''hijacked'' one of his E! clips featuring Ozzy Osbourne's daughter Aimee from about 4 years ago. Howard said they're not allowed to just steal clips from his TV show like that. He thinks that someone at E! may have given out the clip even though he doesn't want them doing that.
Howard continued his discussion about President Clinton. He said that if he gets this TV show he'll have to appear on just about every other TV show to promote it. Howard made up a story about how Clinton's career will go. He ended up in rehab for a drug addiction and then marries Tawny Kitaen and shoots her while she waits for him outside an Italian restaurant. Howard also went into his Clinton impression and did some material with that. He did a whole interview as Clinton and himself.
Howard said they planned on pranking Henry today but they chickened out. They were going to have Gary tell Henry he's got a neighbor who cursed him out and egged his house so he wants him whacked. Gary was afraid that Henry would give him a name and a way to contact the guy so he backed out of it.
Howard had the guys bring Henry in. He apparently had a Heinekin in his hand when he walked in. Howard said he's turning into Hank the Dwarf because he can't even get through an interview without a drink.
Henry said he was sober for 10 months before he ''slipped'' and started drinking again. Howard asked him why he slipped and the explanation he gave was that he's an alcoholic, simple as that.
Henry showed Howard a picture of his son-in-law who's black. He laughed with his disturbing laugh when he showed the picture to Howard. Howard thought that was pretty funny because he's this ex-mob guy.
Artie Lange said a few of his Italian lines to Henry and they both got a laugh out of that. Artie said it was the best time he's had on the show so far.
Howard asked Henry about the Robert Blake case and what happened there. Henry said Blake screwed up and she could have just made her disappear. He said he could have just chopped her up and dumped her in a lake somewhere.
Henry kept cursing so Howard had to keep hitting the delay button on him. He was going to take a break but he just kept talking to him. Henry told Howard that he came to New York to dig up a shoe box that has some money in it. He claimed that the box contains about $2 million from the Lufthanza heist that he was part of.
Howard took a call from this guy Paulie who claims to be in the mob. Paulie called Henry a stool pigeon and some other names but Henry just laughed it all off. Paulie said that one of these days someone is going to get him. Henry doesn't seem to care thought because he just kept laughing.
Howard took a break to try and sober up Henry. Henry wanted to play Fred in a game of ''Win Fred's Money'' when they came back.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Henry about his drinking and how he thinks he does it to drown out the memories of killing people. Henry ended up telling Howard about a few of the guys he whacked in his day. He said his first job was when he was 16 years old. He said it was a shot to the back of the guy's head that did him in. The next couple of guys were ice picks to the back of the head. Henry continued to curse through the whole interview so Howard kept having to hit the delay button and warn him not to do it anymore. The warnings were pointless because he continued to curse no matter what he was told.
Howard took a few more calls for Henry and no one had anything nice to say about him. Everyone was badmouthing him.
Howard wrapped up the interview after playing a quick game of Win Fred's Money with Henry. Howard asked Henry the 7 questions and Henry didn't know one answer. Fred came in and answered 3 of the 7 correct. (Unfortunately I was unable to get the questions in here today) Henry told Howard that he needed questions that he could answer. He said he knew some baseball history but Howard told him that they can't just give him questions that he wants. After the game Howard let Henry go.
After taking a break Howard came back and said that he was dizzy from Henry's appearance. He spent a few minutes talking about Spider-Man and Superman movies.
Robin said that there was something strange going on with Robert Schimmel yesterday. He was only on the show for a short time and after the show Robin said it looked like he was upset that Howard was running off to his meeting. Howard said he loves Schimmel and he wasn't blowing him off or anything. He said once the show is over he runs home.
KC came in and said he was down on the street getting Henry a cab and someone wanted to take a picture with him. KC said Henry just wanted to go and he smacked the guy in the face.
Howard had Gary bring Dalene in because he was so interested in finding out more from her. Howard told her to walk in slow when she came in. He and Artie sounded like they were blown away by her look. Gary said she smelled great too. She said she uses Victoria's Secret bath scents and stuff like that.
The guys wanted to know what she does for her Playboy video. She said in one scene she's in a wedding dress but she loses the dress and runs away through a crowd of people. At first Howard didn't think it sounded that sexy but when he heard she ran away from the wedding it sounded better to him. Dalene also told Howard she does a striptease while she's dressed as a business woman. Gary said that never gets old. Howard said he was playing with himself while she described this stuff.
Dalene said she was frisked at the airport for some reason. Howard told her the guys probably just do that so they can feel her up. She said it was a woman who frisked her though.
Howard asked Dalene if she wanted to do some improv with Artie but she said she hasn't taken any classes yet so she wasn't up for it. She said she's taking classes for ''hosting'' TV shows. She told Howard what they teach her in the class and how they practice to host shows like ''Wild On.'' Howard told her she should be a weather girl.
Dalene said she did a Hawaiian Tropic contest a year and a half ago and was discovered by one of Hugh Hefner's friends. Howard told her she had great breasts and guessed that they were D-cups but she says that they're only C's. Howard said he knows a D-cup when he sees them though.
Howard decided to have Artie and Dalene do the improv thing even though she wasn't really up for it. Howard had Artie pretend to be the teacher at the Hosting School. He told him to come on to Dalene but he dragged it out a bit too long. She did better than Artie according to Howard.
Howard stopped the improv and gave Dalene a plug for an appearance she's making at FYE on 6th Ave. in Manhattan today from noon to two o'clock. Gary also told Howard that Dalene was apparently one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends. She said she never had sex with Hef though. She said she didn't have oral with him either. She said she's kissed him in a friendly way and that's about it. She told Howard she doesn't like to talk about anything that goes on in the Playboy Mansion either. Dalene said she had to appear with him at certain events but she wasn't his girlfriend. Howard and Gary asked her a bunch of questions about Hef and his girlfriends but she wasn't sure about the details.
Twenty four year old Dalene told Howard that she has a 37 year old boyfriend. Howard asked her how long it took the guy to get her. She said it takes a bit of time to get in her pants. She didn't tell him exactly how long it was though.
Howard took a break before playing the Gossip Game. When he got back from break he spent a little more time talking to Dalene. She said she used to work for an insurance company but the people there were mean to her so she quit. She said she's having a great time doing what she's doing now though.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and got scammed by some guy who claimed that Dalene was at a bachelor party stripping for the guys. She said she's never even been to the East coast before this trip though.
Dick Clark called in to get in a plug for his ''American Bandstand 50th Anniversary'' special that airs tonight at 8pm on ABC. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Dick before he got to Mike Walker. Howard tried asking Dick a bunch of sex and drugs questions. Dick said he's never tried any of the drugs Howard mentioned and he didn't really want to talk about sex. He just wanted to get a plug for his special and let Howard get on with his show. Howard tried to hook Dalene up with Dick so he could get her a hosting job but that didn't seem to go over that well either.
Howard got off the phone with Dick Clark and then tried to get Dalene to get into a bikini. They offered her money and a bunch of other things to get her into a bikini but she refused. Everyone begged her for 10 minutes but she wouldn't cave in. Even Mike Walker tried to help talk her into it. Robin finally figured out that it must be her time of the month and that's why she was so hesitant. She was right and Dalene said that's the reason she didn't want to do it. She also claimed that she promised her mother that she wouldn't do anything like that on Howard's show.
Howard moved onto play the Mike Walker Gossip Game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard wrapped up the interview with Dalene right after the game. You can find out more about Dalene at her web site DaleneKurtis.com.
Howard kept saying that Sean doesn't have to really work for anything in his life because his mother has Beatles money and she'll pay the bills. He said that he's trying to get his music career going so he can make his own money.
Sean and Howard got into an argument about the FCC rules about cursing on the air. Sean said he thought Howard was a rebel and he curses on the show more. Howard had to explain to him that there are rules and he has to obey them because he has to make a living doing what he does. Robin told Sean that's the difference between the two of them. Howard has to work for his money so he has to obey rules. Sean refused to listen to them and continued to curse which showed how he doesn't seem to care about following rules.
Howard said that he saw Sean at a party one time and neither of them went up to each other. Sean thought that Howard didn't like him because he goofs on his music. Howard told him just because he doesn't like his music doesn't mean that he doesn't like him as a person. Both of them said that they could hang out with each other if they meet somewhere sometime. Howard told Sean that he shouldn't be afraid to come up to him at a party. Sean told Howard he could hang with him out in L.A. next time he's there. Howard had to take a break because he'd gone so long talking to Sean. Plus, Sean was still cursing and he couldn't let that go on much longer.