Howard said he went out Friday night with Ron Zimmerman to a restaurant that hasn't even opened yet. He was invited to check it out by the owner. He said that Ron was actually fun to hang out with. Ron didn't stay in the Spider Man outfit that he wore on Friday's show. Howard said he wore a jacket and tie which seemed to surprise him.
Howard took phone calls from a few people who bitched and complained about him talking about his broken thumb. He ended up yelling at one guy because he was trying to tell him how to run his show. Some other phone callers told Howard that the issue of ''FHM'' featuring his girlfriend Beth has hit the newsstands a few days early. That led to Howard talking about Beth for a short time. He also talked about how people complain about what he talks about and doesn't talk about on the show. He said he avoided talking about dating after his legal separation for a while and people got pissed because he wasn't talking about his personal life. Then he started talking about dating Beth and people got pissed because he was talking about his personal life. He can't win.
Last week Howard listened to a Mr. Skin Minute where the guy from MrSkin.com talks about the latest movies that are out and which ones have nude scenes in them. Howard replayed that Mr. Skin Minute and Bijou Philips was mentioned as one of the chicks he could see nude in the movie ''Bully.'' He went out and rented it and said it was actually pretty good. Bijou and actress Rachel Minor both get naked in the movie. Neither one of them trimmed their bush which surprised Howard. He said he finds Bijou really hot and he was touching himself while watching the movie. Robin said she thinks he's just as creepy as Mr. Skin but Howard said he's really not. Mr. Skin knows the exact times that nude scenes start and many other details about movies that Howard doesn't.
Howard brought up the Celebrity Boxing show that's airing on FOX this week. He talked about what a great idea it is but said that Paula Jones taking Amy Fisher's place to fight Tonya Harding is kind of lame. Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams (Greg Brady) are also fighting. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that and saying that he started all of this when he had Geraldo Rivera and Frank Stallone fight about a decade ago.
Howard spent a little time talking about the new show on MTV featuring Ozzy Osbourne and his family doing their daily routines. Howard said he loves Ozzy but the show is poorly produced. He said the sound is all off and the family seems to play to the camera too much.
Howard spoke to Stephen about his family for a short time and asked if his brothers like him. Howard said he saw Billy Baldwin out with his wife one day but didn't stop to talk to him because he wasn't sure if he liked him or not. Gary told Howard that he spoke to Billy and he's still into them. Stephen said that his whole family is into Howard.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Stephen and, as usual, they just wanted to yell or complain about Stephen. There was at least one nice phone call for him but that was about it.
Howard told Robin about all of the tatoos that Stephen has all over his body. Stephen downplayed them a bit but Howard said Robin has to see them all on ''Fear Factor.''
Gary asked Stephen what kind of money he's making now in movies. He didn't say but he did say that he's working on a movie with Kari Wuhrer. Howard then asked him if he's banging her. Howard said he thinks that Stephen bangs chicks even though he's married. Stephen was willing to swear on his own life that he's not banging chicks outside of his marriage. Howard then got back to the money discussion. Gary thinks that he gets $2-3 million per movie but Howard doesn't think it's that high. He made about $2.5 million for the last Flintstones movie he did according to Howard.
Howard told Stephen to call in tomorrow after everyone has seen ''Celebrity Fear Factor'' so they can talk about it in more detail.
Howard talked about the special that ran on CBS last night featuring the exclusive video from inside the World Trade Center. Artie Lange said that he thought the show was amazing. Howard said he thought it was done as a tribute to the fire fighters and police that were lost in the attacks and it was fine that they put it on the air. Some people think that they shouldn't have something like that on TV but Howard didn't seem to think it was a problem.
Last week KC did an appearance at a club with Beetlejuice. KC said he ran a tape recorder and caught some of his wacky behavior for Howard to play. KC said that Beet tells stories when he gets drunk and he never shuts up. Then the cops showed up at the club and Beetle just yells at them for no reason. He gets away with it because he's Beetlejuice. The cops just let him go off on them. Meanwhile Beetlejuice thinks that the cops are afraid of him and that's why they let him go off on them. Howard played the tape and Beetle just keeps rambling on and on about all of the criminal activity he's been involved in. He says he can even steal cop cars and they won't do anything about it.
Howard said the Beetlejuice thing gets even wackier because Vin the Retard shows up and he's surprised that Beetlejuice doesn't recognize him. He played that tape too.
KC said that he rode out to the club with Beetlejuice, Drunken Jamie and a couple of other people. He said that Jamie was singing and Beetlejuice told him to shut up. When he didn't shut up Beetlejuice beat the crap out of him. Luckily KC caught some of that on tape too. Howard said he really should put a camera on these guys because they're so wacky. KC said that when the guys are drunk and have to piss, they either piss on each other or piss in a bottle and then throw it out the moving car window so it sprays all over the place.
KC said he heard a story about Drunken Jamie that was funny too. KC said that Sean, Beetlejuice's manager, set Jamie up with some transvestites who gave him oral sex. While they were doing it they whipped out their tools and freaked Jamie out. KC said he heard they caught all of this on video and Jamie got really upset about the whole situation.
Howard talked a bit about this one armed football player that just died recently. He played in the NFL a long time ago but Howard sounded impressed with the fact that the guy only had one arm and made it as far as he did in the NFL.
Howard got back on the subject of 9/11 when 8:46 (the 6 month anniversary of the first 9/11 attack) rolled around on his clock. Mariann from Brooklyn called in to talk about the special that aired last night and how she wasn't able to watch it because she lost her sister-in-law in the disaster. Howard said he doesn't believe there should be a moment of silence anniversary until we take care of the terrorists around the world. He seems to be afraid that we're going to forget about the terrorists if we have these anniversary memorials. He and Mariann spent a few minutes talking about that stuff for a few minutes. Then Mariann said that she saw Mike Tyson in a car dealer buying a new car over the weekend and she went up to him and had a picture taken. She claims that Mike was very ''sedated'' when she spoke to him. She said she told him she was going to call Howard about the meeting and Mike told her to give him his best.
Howard got off the phone with Mariann and got back on the 9/11 special discussion. He said he thinks that the TV networks should keep running all of the tape they have of the World Trade Center attacks to keep it fresh in the public's mind. He seems to think that we're forgetting about what happened and we're going to give up the fight. He also said that the U.S. immigration and naturalization stuff should be given to a public company to run because the government isn't getting the job done.
A listener called in and said that if Howard thinks they should be running this terrorist attack stuff on TV, then he should have it run on his E! show or have it run on CBS. Howard said he actually did get a call from his boss Mel Karmazin asking his advice about the 9/11 special. Howard claims that he told Mel to run it. He said he told Mel that they should run it 24 hours a day.
Scott the Engineer then came in and told Howard about a robbery that happened at his home a couple of years ago. The sad sack came in and told a story that just bored everyone. Howard said he sat down on the couch and just sucked the life out of the studio. Scott said something about there being blood all over the apartment because the robbers ran out through a plate glass window. The way he told it was just boring though.
Howard got back to making fun of the handicapped and spoke to John some more. John said he's still not getting laid and the ''elusive vagina'' still escapes him. He said he can't even get sluts. He didn't get to say much more than that though. Howard took a break about 10 minutes after he came in. John stuck around to hang out during Robin's news segment though. Fred came to life during the news because he does a great impression of John the Stutterer's stutter. During almost every story Robin did Fred went off on something as John the Stutterer. He had everyone doing the same thing. This guy Zolar called in and said they should have John on more often because he got Fred to wake up. John ended up yelling at Zolar for a few minutes because he'd apparently said something to him out in Las Vegas about him being gay or something. The two of them went at each other for a few minutes before Howard hung up on Zolar to calm John down. A short time later Howard's buddy Ralph called in and set John off once again. John hates Ralph for some reason and he always ends up yelling at him whenever he's on the show.
John the Stutterer cut some IDs for the show before he left yesterday so Howard played a bunch of them first thing this morning. Fred was still doing his impression of John too and everyone thinks he does an amazing job at it.
Howard said they have a new game to play today... The Wheel of Fish with High Pitch Erik. Erik is frightened of fish so they came up with a wheel that he has to spin with all kinds of fish stuff on it. Here are some of the things he might have to do when he shows up later in the show:
Howard took a call from a caller who watched ''Celebrity Fear Factor'' last night. That led to a discussion about what went on during the show. Howard wanted to get Stephen Baldwin back on the phone today so he could talk to him about what happened. Gary tried to get him on the phone but it was kind of early. Everyone discussed Ali Landry and how she's got a great body but her face isn't all that great. They also talked about Stephen Baldwin's body. He wouldn't take his shirt off and someone said it looked like he had breasts.
Another listener called in and said he heard that Rosie O'Donnell was goofing on Howard and his broken thumb yesterday. Howard said she'd better watch herself because her kids will start hearing stuff from his fans if she doesn't. Howard and the crew discussed Rosie's coming out on some TV show and how that was no secret to them.
Howard said he had a meeting with his big boss Mel Karmazin yesterday. He said Mel didn't even hint that Letterman had signed to stay on at CBS. Howard said that shows that they're not that close anymore. Howard said Mel also asked him if he had anything to complain about as far as his own show goes. Howard said he sat back and thought about it for a second and decided that he wasn't going to complain about the five things he had on his mind. He said he figures he's got 4 years left on his contract and they have to pay him no matter what so he's not going to complain.
Howard spent some time talking about his broken thumb again. He said it must be a bad break because they have his whole hand and wrist wrapped up so it won't move. He also said he had a photographer from the NY Post or Newsday come up to him to snap a picture of the cast while he was walking down the street. The photographer told him it was big news and that's why he was bugging him for the photo. Howard said if it's that important then E! should just put it on tonight's show.
Howard said he was watching this guy John Edwards who claims to be able to talk to the dead on TV last night and he was busy scamming a bunch of people on his show. Howard spent a few minutes talking about what a scam this guy is running. Howard had the guy on his show a few years ago and KC came in and said that he actually got some stuff right that day. Howard played the tape and listened to Edwards get a couple of things right about his family but the stuff was pretty vague. KC believes in all of this stuff so Howard ended up goofing on him. He pretended that he was contacting his dead father and he was telling him about a bunch of gay stuff that KC has done and will do in the future. KC put up with it for a few minutes but then seemed to get pretty pissed about the whole thing. Nothing Howard did or said convinced KC that this John Edwards is a phony though.
KC told Howard that High Pitch Erik might not show up this morning. He said Erik doesn't have his own phone so he had to call his neighbor and ask him where Erik was. The neighbor said that Erik was very scared about the fish thing and he might not show up. Stephen Baldwin hadn't called in at this point either so Howard had to kill some time talking about other stuff.
Howard talked about dogs for a couple of minutes and then took a call from Melrose Larry Green who had tape of David Letterman talking about staying at CBS. Howard talked about the Letterman story for a little while and had Melrose play the tape. Letterman's speech was very bizarre sounding to Howard. Letterman went on and on about Ted Koppel and how he deserves to determine his own fate and all of this other weird stuff. After listening to the tape Melrose started rambling about something so Howard ended up hanging up on him.
Howard had a strange survey that someone did with a 5th grade class. They asked them to submit questions about sex and they put them out. Howard read some of them and found a few of them surprising. Kids asked questions like:
Big Black called in with tape of celebrities talking about Rosie O'Donnell coming out. People like Tom Cruise and Ian McKellen gave their views. Big Black also had a couple of other clips that he played and thought that Rosie was coming on to singer Natalie Imbruglia. After hearing the tape Howard said Big Black was nuts because she wasn't coming on to Natalie, she was just complimenting her song.
By this time Howard said that it was obvious that High Pitch Erik backed out of the Wheel of Fish thing. Robin suggested that they ban him from the show for life because he backed out.
Howard said Pharrell also did the P. Diddy song that he's been playing on the show and singing to lately. Pharrell told Howard that all he has to do is send him some clips from the show and they'll put a song together. Howard thought that he could take the remake of ''Psychedelic Bee'' that Sugar Ray did a few years ago and have them work with Pharrell on a new hip-hop version. Howard also said he wants to use the ''N-word'' in his song but Pharrell said he's not feelin' that.
Howard gave Pharrell a plug for the new N.E.R.D. album ''In Search of'' which is available today. Howard played a clip from the album and liked what he heard. He told Pharrell that's what he wants his song to be like. He sang for Pharrell but it wasn't impressing him. Pharrell said he just needs some clips of him talking to make a hit song.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Pharrell and wrapped up the interview. Howard said when they produce a hit song for him he'll let them on the air to plug their stuff.
Howard also mentioned that Alan is coming back to ''Son of the Beach'' as Captain Entinile once again. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that and then took some phone calls for him. Howard also asked Alan about Stephen Baldwin's odd behavior on the show. Howard asked him if there was something going on with Stephen because he wouldn't take his shirt or hat off during the water stunt. Alan wasn't around long enough to have been in the last event so he didn't know anything.
Alan had one thing to plug while he was on the phone. He said he's playing in a charity Hockey event in a couple of weeks in New York City.
Howard took more phone calls and let some people talk to Alan. A lot of the calls were actually pretty positive. Gary came in and said that he read that Alan once dated Kristy Swanson for a while. He also heard that she left him for Lance from N' Sync but Alan said there was about 10 years between their breakup and her dating Lance so that wasn't quite true.
Alan told Howard that he's still dating the Bolivian model that he was dating the last time he spoke to him. He said they're still having fun together. Howard also asked Alan if he ever hears from his former co-star Kirk Cameron. Alan said they do stay in touch and he's a ''fine young man'' even though Howard thinks he's just a Jesus freak. Howard wrapped up everything and let Alan plug the charity hockey event. Alan said that it's being held at Chelsea Piers on March 22-23 in New York City.
Howard performed with Blue Oyster Cult one time so they played that clip also. Howard said that didn't turn out that well. He called himself a douche bag when he heard the clip.
Howard got the Violent Femmes song ''Blister in the Sun'' which is the one Artie thought was similar to Howard's song. Howard thought he was nuts after listening to it.
Gary also brought in a CD of a new band that sounds very much like Howard's old band. Howard compared the two songs and they did have a similar style. Howard played his ''Psychedelic Bee'' song and a couple of The Losers songs that they've performed over the past few years. Everyone in the studio was amused by all of Howard's attempts at singing. They played ''Bang a Gong'', ''Court of the Crimson King'' and ''Hurdy Gurdy Man.''
Howard said the worst song he ever did was with Dee Snider. He went into a studio and sang ''On the Road'' with Dee. Howard said he knew that would never be a hit. He played a clip of that and was disgusted with it.
Howard is trying to figure out which one of the songs he should send to the Pharrell Williams of N.E.R.D. Someone reminded him about the Magic Johnson Show performance they did. Howard and The Losers performed ''Wipe Out'' with a few farters that was pretty funny. While he was listening to the farting Howard said he can't believe they actually let that bit get on the air. Robin reminded him that no one was watching Magic's show at that point anyway so it wasn't a big deal. Gary also told Howard that he'd said that the show sucked for 6 weeks straight and they still let them come on.
Howard and the crew decided that ''Bang a Gong'' is the song they're going to send to Pharrell to play with. Howard checked it one more time and decided that it sucks. Then Howard said that they should go with ''Hurdy Gurdy Man.'' He listened to a few seconds of that and said he should just give up on his music career.
Howard went off on Andre, the guy who hits the delay button during the show, because of the stuff he's been censoring out of the show lately. Andre came in and tried to defend himself but Howard just ended up yelling at him.
Howard asked Buffer how they can take bets on a fight that has already been fought. Buffer joked that he's going to be a rich man after the fight. Howard kept getting back to the opening line jokes. He had a bunch of other ones that he played with.
Buffer got a few minutes to promote tonight's fights. Of course Howard and Robin wanted to know what kind of money he's making for announcing the fights. Buffer doesn't talk about that though. Howard also took a few phone calls for Buffer before he wrapped up the interview. He was having so much fun with the responses that Buffer said he was thinking of getting the lines trademarked.
Howard brought in porn star Tabitha Stevens (TabithaStevens.com) who is offering up anal sex to a lucky listener. He spent a few minutes with Tabitha and she told Howard that she's a big fan of Shatner's. She said she used to watch him on TV when she was a child and always said she'd like to marry him.
Shatner was playing for this guy Jeff who came in. Jeff has some problems including an arm that's paralyzed from an accident he was in back in 1986. Jeff was drunk and very belligerent during the whole thing. He was loud and very obnoxious. He even threatened Shatner telling him he'd better win him the anal. Howard spoke to him for a few minutes and then got to the game ''Butt Billionaire.''
William Shatner had to answer 3 out of 5 questions correctly to win the anal sex with Tabitha for Jeff. Howard asked Shatner the following questions:
Howard let Shatner go but he spent a few more minutes with Jeff and Tabitha. Howard told Jeff that he has to treat her gently when he gets this prize. He kept saying that he's a nice guy and said he'd be very nice to her.
Artie Lange did an impression of Jeff that was like a drunken Bill Cosby doing a Jello Pudding commercial. That's the best way to describe Jeff's voice. Howard said he kind of looks like a full sized Hank the Dwarf.
Howard said William Shatner literally ran out of the studio after the game. He said he ran at ''warp speed'' after the craziness. Jeff apparently tried to shake his hand but Shatner just ran out. Howard congratulated Jeff and ended the craziness shortly after that.
Howard then told Tonya that the Daily News in New York had the winners printed in the paper today. He also found out that there were multiple endings taped so they would confuse the audience. She sounded surprised to hear that it was in the paper. Howard said the article said that Tonya wins her fight and Danny Bonaduce wins his fight against Barry Williams.
Howard also spoke to Tonya about the honeymoon video that was released a few years back. Tonya denies even knowing that the tape existed even though Gary said she plays to the camera in the video. She said she didn't know anything about it until it was out. She settled out of court and did get some money out of the deal though.
Howard asked Tonya what kind of money she made on this fight thing because he read that she made $30,000. She said she couldn't discuss that but the money she got paid did get her out of debt. She said her life is going well now and she's gotten the assholes out of her life. Howard took a phone call from a video distributor who said Tonya did have something to do with the honeymoon video because he had to sign something about distribution. Tonya eventually got so freaked out with the hard questions that she said she had to run so she could do the Today show. She sounded like she just wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible.
Howard also spent a couple of minutes talking about how weird Jay Leno is. He talked about how Leno negotiated his own contract and only makes about $14 million a year. Meanwhile, David Letterman just signed a contract for about $31 million a year. Leno beats Letterman in the ratings so it doesn't make any sense.
Howard talked about a racist video game that he read about called Ethnic Cleansing or something like that. In the game you kill African Americans and Jews. He read that it's available on CD-ROM for like $14.95. He didn't say where it's available though.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about Darryl Strawberry and how he was just kicked out of rehab for allegedly having sex in a closet. Howard talked about how crazy it is to even have him forced to go to rehab because he's using drugs. Howard said that they should just let him do what he wants to even if he kills himself doing it.
After talking to Todd for a short time he moved on to talk to Barry Williams who is also fighting on the show tonight. Howard tried to find out from him why anyone would want to do this. Barry said that it seemed like a good idea at the time. He said that it's show business and it didn't seem like a bad idea. Then he found out that Danny Bonaduce is a black belt in karate and some other stuff. He said that it was pretty scary when he found out how dangerous it could have been. Howard said he wasn't going to wish any of these guys luck because the fights have already been fought.
Barry plugged his web site and said that he'll be touring with The Monkees this spring. Gary came in and said that he checked out Barry's web site BarryWilliams.com and he's got a list of shows that he's appeared in over the years and when they'll be airing on channels like TV Land. He also sells his own merchandise on the site.
Howard's official counter was broken so Doug Goodstein from E! had a hand held computer or calculator to do the counting. He took his stance and started off an amazing batch of farts. He was blasting more than one per second for the whole 5 minutes. Since the counter was broken KC was giving an update every 20 or so. He counted off 20, 40, 60 as Howard did a whisper commentary of what was going on. At a minute and a half Junior hit 138 farts. KC yelled out 160, 182, 200, 215... and then 225, Junior tied the record at 2 minutes and 25 seconds. Then KC gave his count... 260, 300, 320, 340, 360... by 4 minutes and 6 seconds he was at 380 farts. Then it quickly rose... 400, 420, 440, 460... at the five minute mark he'd hit an amazing 464 farts!
Junior was still very cocky about his new record. He said that Kip sucked and his record of 225 was nothing. He said that he dedicated all of these farts to Joey Ramone and Dave Grohl.
Howard took a few phone calls from fans who were impressed with his talent. People seemed amazed with what he was able to do with his ass.
Someone brought up Mr. Methane's name and Junior even badmouthed his amazing talent. He then proceeded to show Howard that he's able to blast songs out just like Mr. Methane. Howard and the crew guessed at what songs he was blasting out and got some of them correct.
Crazy Cabbie called in to talk to Howard about getting the ''crazy'' out of his name. Howard said Cabbie has changed lately and he's actually had normal conversations with him. Howard said Cabbie has a girlfriend now and all of the gay stuff is behind him. Cabbie sort of denied the gay stuff that he's talked about on the show before. Cabbie said he's also lost 60 pounds using this Trim Spa stuff. Cabbie started to show his crazy side again when he went off on Stephen Baldwin for some odd reason.
Gary came in and said that he heard that Cabbie stole his girlfriend from someone who works at the radio station. Cabbie said that's not true though. Howard told Cabbie to stop by the show sometime and got off the phone.
Howard moved on to talk about the ''Celebrity Boxing'' show that was on last night. He said he thought it was a good idea. He seems to believe that the idea was stolen from him because he had the Frank Stallone vs. Geraldo Rivera fight about a decade ago. Howard also pointed out that the boxing was a Dick Clark production but he didn't put his name on it for some reason.
Howard spent a short time talking about each of the fights but ended up talking about how odd Danny Bonaduce is. Howard said he still wonders why these guys did this and he actually felt sad for Bonaduce.
Howard said that Barry Williams looked like an old man in the fight. He said Barry and Todd Bridges had man boobs. Everyone in the studio seemed to love the fights.
Howard said he loved last night's ''Survivor Marquesas.'' Robin didn't see it but she heard about who got voted off. Howard was amazed at who they voted off. This guy was a team player and he was the only guy who was motivated on the team that voted him off. Howard said the ''black guy'' on the show is the worst as far as doing work and stuff. Same goes for the ''lazy white chick'' who doesn't do much of anything. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that and then took some phone calls about other stuff. One caller asked Howard if he'd fight Don Imus in the ring. The guy ended up cursing so Howard had to hit the delay button. He ended up complaining about how people seem to think they can curse on his show for some reason. Howard answered the guy's question and said he'd have to think about boxing Imus because he's such an old man. He said he'd look like a dick if he beat him up. Howard said ''It would be like beating up an old woman.''
Gary turns 41 years old today so everyone spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Howard said he always thought Gary was a lot younger than him but it seems like he's catching up to him. Howard turned 48 in January.
Crazy Cabbie called back for some reason and ended up getting into an argument with this guy Zolar who calls the show. Zolar made a statement about Cabbie dating some 14 year old girl that really pissed him off. Cabbie ended up using the F-word a bunch of times and Howard had to hit the delay on him. Cabbie continued to curse even after Howard hung up on Zolar though. Then Stuttering John came in and Cabbie mentioned fighting with John and how John would never do it. The two of them went at each other for a few minutes and John said he would fight Cabbie if he got paid enough. The dollar amount of $100,000 was mentioned and John said he'd do it if he got the full amount. Cabbie said that he doesn't want the money, he'd fight John just to beat his ass. Howard spent a little while discussing it with John and he eventually agreed to do it if he gets $100,000. He wouldn't do it if they had to split the money so Cabbie said he'd give up his cut and said that John could have the full purse whether or not he wins. Gary and Tom Chiusano said they'd see what they could come up with but John kept asking over and over again if they think they can actually get that money. He doesn't seem to think they can get it so it sounds like he's still on the edge about whether or not he'll fight. John thinks he can beat Cabbie even though he outweighs him by about 100 pounds. Some of the guys think that John fights like a crazy person and he wouldn't have any stamina. Cabbie showed that he has a bit of stamina when he fought Angry Black last year. Stay tuned for more details.
Howard continued to ask Erik questions about why he's still in college at the age of 22. That wasn't really explained though. Howard also figured that the guy must have had other problems fitting in to society. He didn't really have any bad things to say about his life.
Eric is now suing the college for being fired but Howard tried to convince him that what he did wasn't what the class wanted so he should just drop the suit. He told Erik that this suit means nothing. It was an art project that went wrong. Erik compared his fight to Rosa Parks'. Howard said it's no where near the same kind of fight. ''It means nothing'' he said over and over again. Howard told him to just give up on this waste of time and just concentrate on getting through college. Howard gave him some advice about going to the Dean of the school and dropping the lawsuit. Howard told him at the rate he's going, it's going to take him 10 years to graduate.
Howard started to wrap things up with Erik. He took some phone calls and asked Erik about how many guys he's had sex with. Erik said in one semester he had sex with 7 guys and 3 women. Howard also found out that Erik goes to a college of agriculture. He wondered what an artist is doing going to a school of agriculture.
Howard asked the two of them what happened and got their stories. Tabitha was apparently a little weirded out by the whole thing for some reason. Jeff couldn't do the anal thing because she was too tight for him. Tabitha ended up taking things ''into her own hands'' and got him off with her hand instead. Howard said he saw the tape that E! shot and after Jeff was done he was a changed man. He said he was all relaxed and a new man after he was relieved. Artie continued to goof on Jeff's voice.
Howard also talked about how quickly William Shatner ran out of the studio after the whole thing. Howard took a few phone calls for the two of them and then wrapped up the interview.
Howard took some phone calls and some people think Stephen was wearing something like a girdle or some kind of sports support shirt under the t-shirt. Stephen denied that and let the jokes keep coming. Everyone was goofing on him about looking kind of chubby but he didn't seem to mind it. Robin asked him what his next movie role is and what part he plays. He mentioned the movie ''Spider's Web'' and Artie joked that he plays the ''bald, fat guy.'' Howard said that maybe NBC came to him and told him that they wouldn't be able to show that much breast on TV so they had him keep his shirt on.
Stephen said he'd be willing to come to the studio when he's back in New York and take his shirt off. He said he'll only do it if Robin takes it off for him though. Robin said she has no problem with that because she used to love his body. They had a bachelor party for him years ago and Robin said he looked great back then.
By the end of the call Stephen was joking that he put on a few extra pounds just in case there was a water challenge in the show... So he'd be more buoyant.
Howard had a trip to give away to a NASCAR race in Bristol, Tennessee and he wanted to give it to Scott the Engineer and Ronnie the Limo Driver who love NASCAR. Howard said the only stipulation was that Scott had to accept the prize without contacting his wife first. Howard thinks that Scott is so whipped that he has to ask his wife about everything he does. Scott and Ronnie came in and accepted the trip. Scott said that he is going and he'll break the news to his wife when he goes home. Howard sounded surprised that he was accepting it as easily as he was. Scott said that he's not as whipped as Howard thinks he is.
Ronnie and Scott went to a NASCAR driving school one time and ended up losing each other as friends. It sounds like Scott's wife was part of the problem with that whole situation. Ronnie is afraid that will happen again. He asked Scott why his wife won't talk to him or his wife anymore. Scott didn't have a good answer for him though.
Gary reminded Howard that this trip is courtesy of the Real One player that's available at RealOne.com.
Artie had a bunch of bets on a couple of the basketball games that were played yesterday. He won on one and lost on another. He said he's going to bet the $500 he's up from yesterday on some more games today.
Howard said he missed Rosie O'Donnell's coming out last night. She was on ''Primetime Thursday'' finally admitting that she's gay. Howard pretended to be surprised even though he's known for years that she's gay.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was raised by two lesbians and doesn't think it's the right way to be raised. He said he got involved in drugs and alcohol by the age of 12 because he was so screwed up. He said kids goofed on him and it really messed him up. He said he used to search his mother's room and found vibrators and stuff like that in there. Artie said that being raised by two lesbians is better than being raised by two guys. He said that would really be embarrassing for a boy. Howard said he would have rather have been raised by ''two mommies'' than the way he was raised in Roosevelt, Long Island.
Howard played a new commercial parody called ''The Dieon Sanders School of Charm'' which they came up with after listening to Dieon hosting the Miss USA pageant last week.
Howard played tape of this nude newscaster from AllNudeSports.com recently. The woman, Sterling Chastain, heard that Howard was goofing on her so she called and left an angry voice mail. Howard played the voice mail and went on to goof on her newscast even more.
Howard said he lost respect for Scott when he heard about this. He knew it was going to happen this way. He predicted it during the conversation yesterday. Howard wanted to know what was so important that he wouldn't be able to go. Scott kept repeating that he had to ''...take care of some personal things.'' He wouldn't give specific reasons though. Someone joked that he has to stay home and watch the race on TV.
Howard said there's nothing that important that would keep Scott home. He said nothing is open on Sunday for him to go to. Howard then offered Scott's wife $1000 if she lets him go. He told Scott to call his wife and offer her the money to let him go. He said he doesn't want to pressure her into this though.
Ronnie thinks that it has to do with him. Last year the two of them went to a NASCAR race school and Scott's wife seems to think that Ronnie's wife ''swindled'' her into letting Scott go to the school. Now she won't talk to Ronnie or his wife. Scott told Howard that it's got nothing to do with Ronnie. He said he has to take care of his wife that weekend and that's it.
Mike Gange from E! came in and said that they already booked a trip to the race so they could tape it. He asked Scott if he could tell his wife that it's a business thing and he has to do it for his job. He said he'd call her and ask her about the $1000 thing and see what happens but they've already discussed it with her.
Howard pointed out how Scott was so defiant when he said ''I'm going!'' during the discussion yesterday. Today he's a completely different man.
Howard took a break and asked Scott what happened when he called her. Scott said she wasn't answering the phone so he wasn't able to talk to her. He said he left her a message for her though.
Crazy Cabbie called in during all of this and asked what was going on with the fight between him and Stuttering John. Howard said he spoke to Donald Trump yesterday and they're working on getting something together. It might happen at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Cabbie and John ended up arguing with each other again this morning.
Howard brought up some of the other stuff Andy has done since leaving Conan's show. He's done a couple of bad movies and TV shows. Andy told him his fate will be decided by this new TV show in about 20 days after it starts airing. Howard continued to question Andy about why he made this career move. Andy said he didn't think it was a bad idea and it didn't get scary until he came on Howard's show.
Robin said she saw that Andy appeared on David Letterman's show and asked if he's not doing any NBC shows. Andy said he'll be on Conan's show tonight and he's done Jay Leno's show already. He's not staying away from NBC at all.
Howard said he thinks Andy has gained weight since leaving Conan. Andy said he actually lost weight and gained it back but he's not heavier than he was. Howard said his stomach was hanging over his pants but Andy said it's always done that.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone after talking about Conan and Andy for a little while. They then spent a couple of minutes talking about Andy's Celebrity Jeopardy appearance. They asked Andy a few questions and then got to Mike's game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard went on to play tape of Rosie O'Donnell talking about being gay on ''Primetime Thursday'' last night. He and the crew spent a little while talking about that while listening to the tape. Howard thought she sounded kind of out of it while she was talking about her life and her kids. Chaunce Hayden from ''Steppin' Out'' magazine called in and said that in an article she did for the magazine she admitted that she is on an anti-depressant. Howard made sure to point out that he doesn't know that for a fact and it was Chaunce who was saying it.
Howard read an obituary that he got for a guy named Howard Stern Jr. It had nothing to do with him but he thought it was interesting enough to read it on the air.
Howard told Wesley that he loved the first ''Blade'' movie and he's looking forward to seeing this new one. Wesley said the movie is getting great feedback from the people who have seen it so far.
Howard asked Wesley if he's been snubbed by the Oscar people because he's black. Howard said he is the ''blackest actor out there'' but Wesley laughed at that comment. They all spent a few minutes talking about other black actors and actresses like Halle Berry and Denzel Washington. Howard said he doesn't even believe that Halle is black. Howard tried to ask Wesley about his relationship with Halle but he didn't want to talk about his personal life. Howard tried many times to get Wesley to talk about personal stuff but it just didn't happen.
Howard asked Wesley about some news stories he's read about him but Wesley denied all of them too. He said that people read about someone named ''Wesley Snipes'' and assume that it's him. There was one story about Andy Dick getting beaten up by Wesley but Wesley denied that. Andy actually brought that story up on Howard's show one time so Stuttering John came in and told Howard that. Wesley said he wouldn't know who Andy Dick was if he walked in the room.
Howard tried to find out what kind of money Wesley made on this sequel. Of course he wasn't talking about that either. Howard kept trying to get stuff out of Wesley but it just wasn't working. Wesley wasn't being a prick about it but he wasn't exactly cooperating with Howard. Howard spent about 25 minutes with him before wrapping up the interview.
Scott's wife Robin called in and told Howard everything is fine with her. She told him why she turned down the money and said that she was pressured into letting Scott go. Howard had her on the phone for a few minutes and said that he predicted how this whole thing was going to go because he knows how their relationship works. Robin said Howard has never met her so he really doesn't know her.
Ronnie the Limo Driver was also there and he still thinks that Scott won't be going. He's still got 7 days to back out of the whole thing. Ronnie spoke to Robin about the problem they had about a year ago with the whole Pocono NASCAR race school situation. He said that he and his wife haven't spoken to Robin since then because Scott told them that she didn't want to talk to them. Robin said she would have accepted an apology and she never said she didn't want to talk to them. Scott took the blame for speaking for his wife on that subject. Robin said that Ronnie said some mean things about her on the show last year so that's what upset her. He'd said something about how he wouldn't stay married to her if she didn't let him do something he really wanted to do. Ronnie still says that he wouldn't let his wife hold him back. He said he's got freedom in his marriage that Scott apparently doesn't have.