Howard was fitted for bifocals over the weekend and he said he's seasick wearing them. Robin said she lasted about 3 days with bifocals before she stopped wearing them. Gary and Artie both noticed that Howard really was disoriented sitting there trying to look at his computer and other stuff.
Howard and Robin were talking about how great the weather was in New York yesterday. Gary said he was outside with his portable TV. Howard caught him trying not to talk about how he got stuck with the kids. Howard asked him what he was really doing and Gary just started laughing hysterically because he'd just tried to pull one over on Howard. He said he had to take his son Lucas to the playground while his wife did some project with his other son. Gary watched the game on his portable TV while his son played. He ended up telling everyone about his weekend with the kids. On Saturday he did the Pinewood Derby thing with his son. Gary said his son's car almost won. Gary did most of the work on the car himself. He just didn't want his kid's car to fall apart or anything so he did the work himself. Gary said he saw the musical ''Mama Mia'' the night before. Howard said that's really gay and goofed on him about that for a couple of minutes.
Howard had his daughter's birthday party on Friday night and they did a whole movie thing with her friends. Howard said they saw the Mandy Moore movie ''A Walk to Remember.'' Howard said he and his father enjoyed the movie even though it was kind of gay. There were about 25 kids at the party according to Howard. He said they had reserved seats but people would sit in that section even though they're marked off.
Howard got back to Gary's weekend and asked if he wears a uniform to the Cub Scout meetings. Gary said he doesn't wear one but there are adults wearing uniforms there.
Howard said he got kind of annoyed at the movie when some woman kept bugging him while he was videotaping his daughter. Howard also said he brought his girlfriend there with him. His ex-wife and her new husband were there too and they all got along just fine. Howard said he gave equal time to everyone and didn't cut out the new husband from the video or anything strange like that. The guys in the studio were asking Howard if he had any strange feelings toward the guy who married his ex. Howard said he really doesn't have any bad feelings about it at all.
Howard and the guys talked about their playoff game bets that they placed on Friday. The bets they made (as a group) were kind of confusing and went right over my head so you'll see no explanation here. Howard said they did end up winning though.
Howard had Ralph on the phone to talk about other parts of his weekend. He quickly mentioned that his girlfriend, Beth, did a photo shoot for FHM magazine (no, Howard didn't say when it'll be out yet) and he got to watch that whole process. During the playoff games this weekend Howard talked to Ralph about what was going on. Howard thought it would be cool to talk to guys while watching football but he only got Ralph. He said he would have spoken to Artie if he just had his phone number.
Howard spent a short time talking about his night out with DJ Chris Booker too. He said Booker called him around 11pm one night and told him to go out with him to some clubs. Howard and his girlfriend went out with Booker but they ended up just sitting around talking at Nobu.
Cesar Robaina, an odds maker from VegasInsider.com, called in and talked to Howard about the NFL playoff games and the upcoming Super Bowl. Howard said these guys must be geniuses or something the way they come up with the odds. All of the guys talked about the betting and how they should bet on the Super Bowl.
After that conversation Howard told the latest story about Attorney Dominic Barbara and how strange he is. He was going to get married out in Vegas while Howard is doing his show out there next week. Now Dominic has changed his mind and he'll be there before Howard gets there and he'll leave before Howard does his show. Howard said Dominic asked him to be his best man but Howard told him maybe he should have his son be his best man. Dominic called in and apparently tried to cover it up saying that he never asked Howard to be his best man. Howard said Dominic also invited his girlfriend to be in the wedding even though Howard won't be in it.
Howard watched some of the video and said that Steve O might just be crazy. At one point Steve O has his hair set on fire with gasoline and burned his face. He also has roman candles shot at his ass and darts thrown at his ass. Howard said it was great. Steve O also craps in a car and throws the crap at another car while they're driving. Steve said his favorite stunt was when he shot up a few shots of vodka through an IV. He said he got pretty wasted when he did that. He said he was actually able to find a registered nurse to give him the IV.
Steve O said that his original goal was to become a stunt man. He went to a clown school and started doing these crazy stunts when he was about 15 years old. He said he can get chicks now that he's been on ''Jackass.''
Howard said Steve staples his nut sack to his leg in the video. Steve told Howard he started out doing it with an office stapler and moved up to the one he uses in the video.
Howard read through some of the other crazy stunts Steve has done in his ''career.'' They were all pretty disturbing... and he was going to do one for Howard today. He had 5 goldfish that he was going to swallow and vomit back up into a fish bowl. Howard wasn't sure if he could watch it though. He told Steve that he didn't want him to do all 5 at once because he didn't want him passing out or something. Steve O went ahead and swallowed all 5 fish. Before he came in he guzzled a bunch of water. He drank a little more and then tried to make himself puke. Howard was laughing hysterically as Steve O gagged and puked the fish up. He managed to get 3 out alive before ''orange juice'' started coming out. Howard made him stop after the three came out. The fourth fish was dismembered. Steve ran out of water so he finally stopped.
Howard said Steve brought his girlfriend Dee with him and she might be kind of dumb. Gary was asking her some questions out in the green room and she couldn't answer them. Howard had her come in and spent a few minutes talking to her. Howard asked her what she does for a living and she just said she ''makes people happy.'' Howard asked her a few questions to find out how dopey she really was. She knew that there are 365 days in a year but she didn't know that one pound of silicone weighs as much as one pound of saline. She was able to spell ''receive'' but didn't know what KKK stood for. She also thought the Eiffel Tower is in Central Park. Dee stripped down real quick for Howard and he said she's really hot.
Howard was starting to wrap up the interview when Steve pulled out his staple gun and got ready to staple his nut sack to his leg. Howard told him not to do it but Dee got the staple gun and stapled his sack to his leg. Howard sounded really freaked out by the sight of it. Artie Lange said he'd never seen Howard react like that. Steve then pulled the staple out. KC said there was blood on the staple.
Howard spent a couple more minutes with the two of them and took some phone calls for them. A couple of people thought it sounded great on the radio and said they can't wait for it to be on E!. Steve O said they're shooting ''Jackass the Movie'' soon and hopes that will help make him some money. Howard plugged Steve O's web site again as he wrapped up the interview. Steve said that you not only get the ''Don't Try This At Home'' video but you get the ''Career Ender'' video which features even more insane stunts that might just end his career. Get them at SteveoVideo.com.
Fred requested that Beetlejuice the dwarf be in while he was there so Howard had him down to the studio. Fred said that his friend Steve and his wife Juliet Lewis are huge fans of Beetlejuice and Howard so he wanted him to be on with him. Beetlejuice showed up in the studio naked wearing only socks, sneakers and a red condom. He was supposed to play his ''red guitar'' to audition for Fred but he just rambled on and on about how great a guitar player he is and how he'd love to work with Fred. Fred refused to shake Beet's hand when he came in. Howard said Beet was just sitting on the couch with his legs wide open and he didn't care. Howard would interrupt Beet once in a while to talk to Fred about what he's up to. Fred told Howard that they're holding these open auditions for guitar players and even singers who haven't been found yet. He said he found the bands Staind and Puddle of Mud that way.
Fred also told Howard about what happened with their former guitar player Wes Borland. Fred said Wes left the band and said that their genre of music was over. Fred didn't have anything bad to say about Wes. He said he's glad that Wes is gone if he was unhappy being in the band. He said Wes was always kind of an outsider in the band. He had his own dressing room. Fred said that Wes has done some interviews where he said that he was just in the band for the money.
Howard spent some time talking to Fred about some of the feuds he's had with people like Courtney Love and the lead singer of Creed. Fred said he doesn't understand the Courtney Love thing. He said he met her once and she gave him her e-mail and phone number. They were in contact for a while but then Fred heard that she was badmouthing him. He said he doesn't know what happened there and that might just be the type of person she is. He also talked a little bit about the Scott Stapp feud and how he's not going to fight the guy like Stapp suggested.
Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Fred and talked to him about the women he's dated over the years. At one point Howard mentioned Carmen Electra's name and Fred said he heard that she's pregnant with Dave Navarro's baby. Howard hadn't heard that yet so it was news to him. Howard wrapped things up after the phone calls.
A listener called in complaining about Andrea the ''Dumbest Stripper'' who was on E! last week. He said that she wasn't all that hot. Howard figures the guy must be getting Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra if he thinks that Andrea wasn't hot. The guy claims that he could find a woman off the street who's hotter than Andrea was. Howard invited him to do that but a short time later he banned the guy from watching his TV show.
Yesterday Howard mentioned that his girlfriend Beth did a photo shoot for FHM Magazine. A caller asked Howard when that issue will be out. He said he thinks it's the May issue and then told the story about how Beth got the gig. Howard knows that FHM is going to make big money from the issue because his fans are going to go right out and get it. He told his girlfriend that she should benefit from that and make some money on the deal. He stayed out of the deal and now he thinks that she's getting ripped off. Howard said he went down and watched the shoot which took place in Brooklyn. Howard said they were in some warehouse that had old cars in it. He got to see some of the Polaroids from the shoot and they were really good. Howard said he thinks he should put out his own magazine called ''Beth'' and just have pictures of her in it. The fans would buy it.
Howard said he whacked his nose on the top of his car door when he was getting into it yesterday. He joked that he did $200,000 worth of damage to it. He said he was seeing stars after he hit it. He wasn't paying attention as he got in the car and just bashed it on the door.
A caller asked if he could win a trip to Vegas with Howard next week. KC wanted to play ''Guess the Anteater'' (who's circumcised) but Howard thought that was too gay and found another game to play and asked the guy a few trivia questions...
Howard finally got to the tapes and the first person up was designer Kenneth Cole. John asked him: If you could resurrect one person from history, who would it be? - Martin Luther King Jr.
Howard got back to John and Gary and talked about how much of a ball buster John is. KC came in and said the same thing about John. He constantly picks out people's flaws and goofs on them. Howard said he starts to laugh when he sees John doing that stuff but it's not right. The conversation led to Howard saying that he doesn't really like Gary but he likes his work so he keeps him around. That led to a big discussion about who Howard likes better in the studio. Howard said he likes Gary like he likes the chair in the studio. He said he likes Fred better than Gary and of course he likes Artie better than Gary. Howard said that he does like Gary more than Benjy and Scott the Engineer though. When Scott's name came up another discussion started about Scott's attitude toward their upcoming Las Vegas trip. He was complaining about their eating arrangements so Howard told him not to go. Scott went in the studio and said he was done and he wasn't going to go. Howard said that was fine and it wasn't a threat to him. Scott was serious when he told Howard he really didn't want to do this job. Howard gave him a second chance to change his mind and he decided he was wrong and he would do it even though everyone is going to treat him like crap.
The whole crew also brought up the Super Bowl and talked about how they were going to bet. KC mentioned that he was going to take the Patriots but a short time later Scott the Engineer (who always loses) said that he's taking the Patriots also. That probably means that they'll lose for sure if Scott picks them.
Howard spoke to John about a bunch of different things. He brought up his marriage to Tatum O'Neil and how that went wrong. John said he tore up their pre-nuptial agreement when they got divorced so he could get joint custody of the kids by giving Tatum more money. He eventually got full custody of all of his kids. He's now married to Patty Smythe. He's got six now ranging in age from 2 to 16. He said he doesn't want any of them to play professional tennis though.
Howard brought up a bunch of other tennis players and asked John what he thinks of them. John never really liked Ivan Lendle so they talked about that for a short time. John even joked that Gary is lucky because Ivan has worse teeth than he does.
Artie Lange kept joking that when he was growing up tennis was considered a ''gay sport.'' When they'd mention something about a tennis camp or something like that Artie would say something about it being gay.
Howard and John talked about the game show John is hosting which airs Tuesday nights at 8pm. Howard said he thinks that John is good as the host and the show is pretty good too. He did have one review where the author called John a beady eyed ex-tennis player who looks like a poisonous insect. John didn't seem to care that much about the review though.
Howard took a few phone calls and spoke to John about his wife Patty for a few minutes before wrapping up the interview.
Howard and the crew also spent time talking about the President's State of the Union speech that was on last night. Artie brought up how big Ted Kennedy's head looked on TV last night. Howard said that Mike Tyson's head looked pretty huge too. They all talked about how annoying the applause is and how everyone treats the President like a prom queen when he walks in.
A caller asked Howard if Superman gets his power from our yellow sun, will he lose his powers if he flies too far away from it. Howard told the guy that Superman can get his power from any yellow sun so he won't lose them if he flies away from ours. Howard then went into a whole discussion about Superman, his powers and how he can lose them. Artie and other callers ended up asking Howard questions about Superman too. He's almost an expert on the subject because he's read so many of the comic books over the years.
Howard talked about some of the other stuff that will be going on there next week when they're out there. They've got a lot of stuff planned for the show. They've got chances to win dates with whores, strippers and models as well as a big $100,000 bet and tons of other things planned. It all begins on Monday, February 4th.
David said that he and George Steinbrenner went out to lunch one time and Steinbrenner told him he wanted him back on the team. He said that he's kept a good relationship with George even after he was traded away.
Howard ended up back on the superhero subject after Artie mentioned something about the Superman conversation they had earlier in the morning. They talked about that for a few minutes and then moved on to other stuff.
David talked about his ex-wife and how his pre-nuptial actually held up in court when she challenged it. David said that when ''they'' don't get what they want, they get angrier. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said that the sure fire way to make sure a spouse can't challenge a pre-nup is to video tape the signing. That way they show that the woman wasn't under duress when she signed it. David said that's what his ex-wife did to him. She said she was under duress and challenged the pre-nup.
Howard took a few phone calls for David before wrapping up the interview. The calls seemed split about David coming back to the Yankees. Some people were unhappy about it and a few people were happy. One guy from the Boston area called in and said he's glad Wells is back on the team because now the Red Sox will have a chance against the Yanks because David is an old man. Howard wished David luck after the calls and ended the segment.
Howard got a tape from Jimmy Kimmel who has a new show coming up called ''Crank Yankers'' where they have puppets reenacting phony phone calls made by different comedians. The tape he got was Jim Florentine (Terrorizing Telemarketers) calling someplace about a job. As he's getting information from the woman on the other end he lets out belches constantly. He has to keep asking her what she just said because his belches are so loud. After a couple of minutes of this the woman hangs up on him.
Howard got back to ''Al Pacino's Baby'' for a little while before getting to Robin's news. A couple of callers tried to do their own bits with ''Al's Baby'' but they didn't have any material so Howard ended up hanging up on them. Howard eventually moved on to let Robin do her news segment while ''Al's Baby'' sat in and commented on some of the stories. ''Gene Simmons'' (Craig Gass) also made an appearance during the news. ''Gene'' said they have a couple of new products out. One of them is a urinal cake that you can not only relieve yourself on but you can eat it too. He said they also have a KISS chili out that has the KISS logo on the can. ''Gene'' also cleared up the rumor about him being bald. He said he did not lose his hair, he sold it online.
Craig Gass will be appearing at Caroline's tonight in New York City at 7pm. You can find out where else Craig will be appearing by visiting IHateComedians.com
Artie and Howard spent a few minutes talking about picking up chicks. Artie talked about how he got a date with this chick he's asked out a bunch of times. He told Howard he went out to dinner with her and then hung out at a bar for a while. Artie said he was drinking Jack Daniels all night. He said he even ended up singing and playing air guitar while they were at the bar. Artie thinks that she was too hot for him and she's out of his league. He said they did make out a little bit though. She had to drive since he was a little drunk. On the drive home he had her stop at a pizza place so he could get some pizza for himself. Stuttering John and KC came in and told Howard how much they've seen Artie eat when they've gone out with him. According to them he's constantly eating all kinds of junk food. Artie said he burns it off running around playing softball and stuff like that.
Howard played a couple of audio clips of comedian Todd Barry doing some funny bits about MTV and VH-1 shows that he's seen. Howard thought the guy was pretty funny.
Howard said he watched a video copy of the movie ''Orange County'' and it wasn't all that great. He said he started out good but it went downhill and turned out to be pretty bad.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about next week's Las Vegas shows and everything that will be going on out there. Yesterday Howard was informed that the people at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino were going to make the pool area into a summer-like environment. After the show he got a call from Gary who was asked if Howard was really serious about wanting that to happen. Of course he was but it wasn't his idea to begin with. Howard said he wants it to happen but he didn't know it was going to be a hassle and now he feels funny about the whole thing.
Gary came in and said someone told him John has this schedule every day. He heard that John will come in, put two phone calls up for Howard and then go to the bathroom to piss. Then he comes back, checks the phone calls and then goes to the bathroom again to take his 7am dump. John said he is on a schedule for his dump but he's always on top of the phone calls. Howard was complaining about how the phone callers aren't always there when he goes to talk to them. He eventually got tired of the whole thing and let John leave the studio.
Howard moved on to talk about other things after the John nightmare. He talked about the heads of CBS, Sumner Redstone and Mel Karmazin, who were apparently having problems with each other. There were rumors that Mel was going to leave the company but no one wanted to hear that. It was hurting the company's stock prices so the two of them have apparently settled things and the stock prices have gone back up.
Howard said there were things that he wasn't allowed to talk to Pam about. Her publicist said they can't talk to her about Valentine's day for some reason. Howard said it was just making him more curious to find out why she won't talk about it.
Howard has a strange intern by the name of Pete who really loves Pam. Howard had him come in before Pam so he could talk to him about his obsession. Howard said the guy has a ''Barb Wire'' t-shirt that has never been worn. He had it folded up like a military flag so it wouldn't get ruined. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Pete about this t-shirt thing. Howard checked it out and it wasn't even a cool t-shirt. They said it wasn't a picture of Pam, it was just a cartoon. Howard said he'd let him meet Pam because he wanted to see the look on his face. He had Pete rehearse what he was going to say to Pam before he brought her in. Pete rambled on like a stalker saying he wanted to date her and he's been watching her since her ''Baywatch'' days.
A short time later Howard had Pam come in. Pete got to say a few words to her but he really sounded like a loser. Howard let him stay in there though but he was really disturbing to look at according to Howard.
Pam came in and said that she really hates the fact that her management told Howard he couldn't talk to her about certain things. She said that she's willing to talk about anything. She didn't understand the Valentine's day thing either. She said she's just staying home with the kids that day.
Howard described to everyone what Pam was wearing today. She had on a very tight Chrome Heart turtleneck sweater and she wasn't wearing a bra. She was also wearing a really small mini-skirt and stiletto heels.
Pam asked Howard to play the number 8 song on Kid Rock's new album. She said she'd dance to it if he played it. Howard got the CD and played it while she danced. For some reason she went over to him and ended up smacking him in the head. Howard thought it might have been a bet she had going that made her do it but she denied it.
Howard went back in time a little and talked to Pam about the night he spent at a strip club with her. Howard claims that he kissed her that night but she said she never did. She said it was the other women that were there who kissed him. Pam denied it over and over again but Howard said she's lying about it. Pam said that she thinks Howard is cute but nothing would have happened that night no matter what he thinks. Robin remembered that it was September 11th when they had the conversation about what a pussy Howard was for not getting Pam that day. They were in the middle of the conversation when Howard found out about the terrorist attacks.
Howard talked to Pam about dating Kid Rock and whether or not she's going to marry him. She said that it's possible and she's really in love with him. Howard doesn't understand why she gets right into these serious relationships without dating a bunch of guys first. She just said she's really in love with Kid Rock right now. Howard spent some time asking her about how much the two of them have sex. Pam said it's quite often and multiple times. Howard said he's seen the Pam and Tommy video tape and having sex with her has got to be real fun.
Howard plugged Pam's TV show ''V.I.P.'' and took a bunch of phone calls before wrapping up the interview. Vinnie Favale from CBS was at the club the night Pam and Howard kissed. He called in and said he couldn't believe the way they were making out. He was right next to them and said that Pam was sitting on Howard's lap. He also said there was tongue involved but Pam denied it. Howard said he didn't even remember that much detail and wasn't sure if there was tongue.
Howard also asked Pam about this stalker she found sleeping in her house. Pam told Howard about this woman who snuck into her guest house and made herself at home. Pam said she didn't go into the guest room that often but her father was coming over one day. She asked her house keeper to check the room and that's when they found the woman and called the cops. When they found her she'd slit her wrists. They also later found that she was wearing one of Pam's ''Baywatch'' bathing suits. Pam said she's since moved out of that house and into another one in the area. It was right on the beach in Malibu so it was pretty easy for people to break in. She said one day she saw a couple of girls running down the beach wearing some of her ''V.I.P.'' clothing that they'd stolen from her house.
Stuttering John came in and asked Pam if she plans to have plastic surgery to keep her amazing looks if they start to fade in 5 to 10 years. She said she hasn't had any plastic surgery, other than her breasts, yet and she's very afraid to have anything done to her face. She didn't say she won't have any surgery though. She's just going to wait to see what happens.
Finally, Howard asked Pam about if she has a bikini wax or shaves her private parts. She said she shaves. Howard wondered why she doesn't get razor bumps down there. She said she guesses that she just doesn't get them for some reason. Artie said in the Pam and Tommy video you might get one shot where you can see some bumps down there though. He was just trying to extend the conversation about her private parts though.
The guys spent some time talking about how much they think Pam is worth. Artie was thinking she's worth maybe $5 million or so. Howard thinks that's probably about right. He said she didn't make that much from ''Baywatch'' or ''Playboy'' and she probably doesn't make a lot from ''V.I.P.''
The guys talked about what a great catch she would be. That led to everyone talking about power couples like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Howard's theory is that they get together because they're in similar situations and they wouldn't have to worry about each other's money situations. Howard said that if he hadn't fallen in love with his girlfriend he probably would have looked for a TV star. He said someone like Kim Delaney, who was recently arrested for drunk driving, would be good for him. Howard said he wouldn't go for someone like Cher though.
Artie told Howard he wants to be set up with someone like that. Everyone ran a bunch of names through him to see what he'd be up for. Alyssa Milano was one he'd be wiling to get hooked up with. They also mentioned names like Mindy Cohen from ''The Facts of Life'' and Megan Mulally from ''Will and Grace.'' He didn't sound so interested in them though.
Comedian Dave Chappelle showed up to hang out during Robin's news so he was involved in the conversation a bit too. Dave is appearing in Comedy Central's ''Heroes of Black Comedy '' which airs on Monday night at 10pm. After the rich chick conversation Howard moved on to let Robin do her news segment.
Howard also interrupted the news to talk about a letter he got from PETA who heard about Steve O's stunt where he swallowed a bunch of goldfish and puked them back up. The letter said that they heard that there may have been some fish suffering after they were puked back up and he was upset about that. The letter also said that they understand the fish might have been fakes. Howard started to go with that but then gave a full explanation of what happened. Gary came in and said that three of the fish lived and they were taken home by someone at the station. Howard said he didn't know that was going to happen but they're just goldfish.
High Pitch Erik's name came up in the gay conversation and KC said he heard that he's training to check luggage for American Airlines. Howard jokingly said he heard that Gary the Retard is going to be a pilot too. Everyone sounded shocked that Eric could get a job like that. They spent a few minutes goofing on him. Artie suggested that they have someone bring a dead fish on the plane to freak Erik out. They also joked that one day in a couple of years we'll probably hear that a plane was hijacked and Erik was the one who checked the luggage.
Howard read a letter that Mark Harris sent to Vinnie Favale about how he thinks he should have a sitcom of his own. Mark described to Vinnie what the show would be about and of course he would play a gay father in the show. Howard read the letter in his effeminate gay Mark Harris voice.
Howard had a bunch of stuff he hasn't been able to get to lately. He first checked out the Official Frank Stallone web site (FrankStallone.com) and goofed on that for a little while. Unfortunately Gary announced the URL on the air so Howard's fans clogged up the site and slowed it down so much that he couldn't check out much of it.
Howard talked about some nutty animal rights woman who compares the World Trade Center disaster to the slaughter of chickens. Howard gave out her web site so people can let her know what they think about what she said... UPC-Online.org.
Howard brought up a story about the police force in Lancaster, Pennsylvania who have refused to help out with a YMCA tri-athlon because, they claim the YMCA promotes witch craft by having kids read the Harry Potter books. Howard thought that was pretty crazy, ''...they're just kids fantasy books!'' he said.
Howard said that the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino is going ahead with plans to make the pool into a summer-like environment by tenting it and heating the water just for Howard's show. Artie has to get himself a bathing suit so Howard suggested that he get a Tommy Hillfiger suit because they're ''slimming'' suits. Howard was talking about all of the stuff they want to do and how they're barely going to have time to do the show.
Artie had everyone's winnings from last weekends betting. He collected about $3500 from his bookie who he apparently meets at a McDonald's fast food restaurant. Howard won $1000, Robin won $500 and the other guys had smaller bets that they won. Howard and the crew also talked about betting on the Super Bowl but Howard said he was thinking of sitting this one out. Artie told everyone about these ''lightning'' bets that they can place on the game which could make them a lot of money or lose them a ton of money depending on the score. They're all still on a high from winning last week's bet so they had to think about what they might lose. They could easily lose $40,000 if they did a $1000 lightning bet. Robin was thinking more like a $100 lightning bet while Gary was thinking more like $10.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about next week's Vegas trip. Mike Gange was in talking about what he's going to wear to the pool party. He said he'll be wearing shorts instead of a bathing suit. Howard also mentioned that Yaqi the tickler will be there for the show.
The marry a porn star thing will be happening next week in Vegas too. Howard said that they contacted some theme marriage place out there and they were going to have a Star Trek Vulcan marry the couple but someone was afraid that Paramount pictures would sue them for using a Vulcan in the ceremony. So Howard looked over the list and decided to use Abraham Lincoln and a slave to marry the couple.
The challenger was Sam Phillips who came in ready to take on Bobby. He said he's been around the world performing. Howard had Sam give a quick demonstration of his snapping before Bobby did his performance. Bobby snapped along to the ''Lord of the Dance'' music. Howard said it was pretty good and wondered if it hurts his fingers to snap like he does. Bobby said it doesn't hurt at all.
Sam was up next and snapped along to ''Soul Sacrifice'' by Santana. Howard said both of them were very good. Howard wrapped it up quickly after they were both done snapping. You can find out more about Bobby Badfingers at Badfingers.com. Sam plays drums in a band called the Joe Average Band and they're making appearances around the area. You can find out about one of those appearances at SultansOfBing.com. Howard played a little bit of the band's CD and he said the best part of the song was the drumming. He didn't sound like he was impressed with the singing. He just said ''You've gotta be kidding.'' as soon as he heard the vocals. Both Artie and Howard tried snapping a bit after the guys left and they were both pretty good.
The surprising thing about the magazine is that Steven Spielberg is indirectly funding it. Jennifer said she got a grant from a non-profit organization that Spielberg runs. She said he probably doesn't know about it yet but he might after today's show. Howard thinks that she'll lose the funding in a month once Spielberg finds out he's funding ''Heeb.''
Howard talked to Jennifer about her wild sex life a little bit and also about circumcision. She also ended up showing Howard her ass after Gary told him that she'd showed it to the camera out in the green room. She refused to do it for a little while but eventually broke down and showed it. She was wearing pantyhose so Howard wasn't so happy about that.
Howard eventually got Mike Walker on the phone. He and Howard spent a little more time talking to her about her wild sex life and got to the game after that. Here's how the game goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Later in the show Howard had Mark come in to sing for a group of record execs. Howard introduced each of the three record execs which included Craig Callman from Atlantic Records, Randy Kander from Destin Entertainment and John Tita from Warner Chappel records. Howard gave each of their resume's out to show that they know what they're talking about. Howard then had Mark come in and sing ''God Bless America'' for the guys. Howard asked Mark if he'll give up his awful singing if the guys tell him that he sucks. Mark said he won't give it up at his age because he enjoys himself too much.
After performing the song Craig said that Mark was off key in a couple of spots. The other guys also said that Mark has an okay voice but he's not going to be a mainstream star. They said he might be able to do something in a small club somewhere.
Mark said he really doesn't care what they say because he's very happy doing what he's doing. He said he doesn't need a record company to back him up because he's got the internet. He can put out songs to his fans through his web site AKAMarkHarris.com whenever he feels like it.
Howard spent a little more time talking to Mark about his gay lifestyle and playing some of his other songs. Vinnie Favale from CBS was also in helping out. He stays in constant contact with Mark for some reason and he gets to hear all of Mark's stuff. Vinnie told Howard which songs he found interesting. Howard would get through about 30 seconds of each song before going to another one. He wrapped up the segment after taking a few phone calls and talking about how awful he though ''The Lord of the Rings'' movie was.
