Howard said he got out of town over the weekend to get away from the mess in the city. Howard said he ended up in Woodstock, New York.
Howard said he got a message from Courtney Love over the weekend and she said some nice things. She said she heard his show last Tuesday and it was very comforting to hear Howard talking about the disaster. She told Howard that today she's taking her money and investing in the country when the stock market opens. She also claims that she's going to attempt to enlist in the Marines. She doesn't know if they'll take her but she's going to sign up if they let her.
Howard said a lot of guests were scheduled for this week but some have canceled due to the terrorist attacks. Jason Alexander has canceled as did Arnold Schwarzenegger whose new movie release was moved to next year from just weeks from now. There are probably others who have canceled but Howard didn't mention any other names.
Howard talked about something he read about how this World Trade Center attack is like movies we've seen in the past and that's what the terrorists wanted it to be. They probably gave us time to get video cameras to the scene so we'd be able to see the images of the horror over and over again. It's a psychological attack on the country and that's the way they're going to try and take us down.
Howard said he's really paranoid about being in Manhattan right now and he hates being there. He said he's been looking at people funny because he doesn't know who he can trust. He said he's been looking at people cross-eyed all week.
Howard and the rest of the crew are still discussing the terrorist threat in this country and how it doesn't make any sense that these people have given up their lives for nothing. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said that these guys who hijacked the planes didn't fit the profile of the average terrorist. Some of them had families and they just killed themselves for nothing.
Howard was also wondering about what's going to happen to businesses in New York City. He watched ''60 Minutes'' last night and some big business owners were interviewed about that subject. A lot of businesses will leave the city and move to other parts of the country. Howard wondered if anyone will even rent space in the World Trade Center if the buildings are rebuilt. Howard lives in the city and he knows that other people don't want to live there anymore.
Howard got back to talking about what it was like up in Woodstock this weekend. He said it's like all of the hippies from the '60's stuck around there and now their kids are all growing up as hippies. It's turned into a ''peace and love'' industry up there where they sell tie-dyed shirts and stuff like that. Howard said he got lost going up there but he ended up driving through Bearsville which was very beautiful.
Howard talked about how all of the late night guys like Leno, Letterman and Jon Stewart don't know what to do with their shows. Leno apparently asked for advice from Johnny Carson who told him to ''go slowly'' and not joke about the President right now. He told him to stick to Viagra jokes and crap like that instead. Howard said the real answer is to just go on and, for once in their lives, talk from their hearts. Howard thinks they should talk about what they think the country needs to do.
After Debbie's call Artie talked about this one time he was on ''Politically Incorrect'' and he had no clue about what they were talking about. He made some comments and Bill said ''And that was the dumb opinion!'' and went to a commercial break. Artie said he had a look on his face through the rest of the show like he wanted to punch out Maher.
KC came in with his ''Number Eleven'' theories about the World Trade Center attacks. He had a bunch of statistics where the number 11 came up. It was nonsense like..
Everyone ended up goofing on KC about how he ran out of the city last week after the terrorist attack. The next day he went to a tanning booth on his way back to the city so that became the subject of attack on KC. Howard's buddy Ralph was in this morning and even he was goofing on KC about the whole thing. Howard told KC he should just admit that he couldn't handle the situation last week and he had to run home to Long Island to get away from it all. KC eventually admitted that he has a problem when he's not in control of a situation and he had to hang out on Long Island for a day to see what was going to happen. The goofing went on for quite a while until Howard had to take a commercial break.
Crazy Cabbie called in and barely had a voice today. He was working all weekend and blew out his voice. Howard said Cabbie has some inside info on what the military is going to be doing. Cabbie used to be in the Army himself so he has some friends in there. Cabbie said he can't give specifics but his best guess is that something major will start happening in the next two weeks.
Howard got back to what he thinks David Letterman should do on his show tonight. He said Letterman should have the Mayor, the Governor and every other major player in New York City on his show to discuss what's going on. He said if they have to make it a comedy show they could draw a map on Paul Schaffer's head or something dopey like that.
Howard said that some radio stations in New York are planning a special moment of silence tomorrow at 8:48am, one week after the terrorist attacks. They're going to have the moment of silence and then play Ray Charles' version of ''America The Beautiful.'' Howard said he's going to have his own memorial service and he doesn't want to do the same thing all of the other stations are doing.
Howard replayed the phone call he made to KKK member Daniel Carver last week. In the call Daniel said that if he were in the rubble of the World Trade Center and he saw a black man lying there hurt, he'd actually help him. That came as a big surprise to Howard and the crew. Daniel redeemed himself and got back to his usual racist talks. He did agree that it's time for the country to come together to fight these terrorists.
Sal the Stockbroker called in and said that in light of this terrorist attack situation he's going to stop goofing on Gary like he has done for years now. Artie said that means it'll probably be his last appearance then if he stops the goofing. Howard ended up cutting him off when the coverage of the Stock Exchange came up on TV. Howard watched that for a couple of minutes and said he's going to be investing in the market himself. Everyone in the studio said the same thing hoping that it would get people to buy today so the markets don't crash. A short time later they were talking about how the Dow was down 500 points.
CBS news reporter Amy Nuzzo called in to tell Howard how great his coverage has been over the past week. She said she's been a fan for a long time and she listened all week to what he had to say about the situation while it was going on. Amy is really hot so Howard was concentrating on trying to find out what kind of woman she really is. She's only 5'2'' tall so she's too short for Howard but Artie Lange was coming on pretty strong trying to get a date with her. They spent a bit of time talking to her about what she's like off the air. She said that of course she wears hotter clothes when she's not being a reporter for the local CBS TV station. Howard wanted to pick out an outfit for her to wear one day on the news but she didn't think that would be a good idea. She's afraid her co-workers won't respect her anymore if she does that. Artie just kept trying to get a date with her. He found out that she lived in a town near where he grew up so he mentioned a couple of places they both knew about and tried to hook up with her. She wasn't interested though.
Howard took some phone calls throughout the show and let an intern who just became a U.S. citizen back in July come in to say a couple of words.
Howard and Robin did an abbreviated news segment and played a couple of clips of President Bush talking about this situation in the country. For some reason he was ready to wrap up the show but he let Elliott Offen come in...
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the terrorist attacks and how he thinks that we may be waiting too long to do anything in retaliation. He continued to talk about the ongoing situation in the city and Robin said that she heard it will probably take at least 6 months to clear out the rubble from the World Trade Center collapse. Stuttering John said he heard it'll take a year.
Howard also spent quite a bit of time discussing Osama bin Laden and how much money they think he's worth. Howard has read things about this guy that say he's worth at least a billion dollars. He apparently gets ridiculous amounts of money from the worldwide opium market and the many businesses that he runs.
A listener mentioned how Jay Leno was getting upset on his show last night. On Monday Howard said that all of these late night guys should just go on and speak from their hearts but he didn't think David Letterman and Jay Leno would end up trying to out do each other by almost crying.
Howard said he didn't listen to the minute of silence followed by Ray Charles singing ''America the Beautiful'' that all radio stations around the country played. Howard said he didn't want anything to do with that and some people might think that he's not patriotic because of that. He said he's the most patriotic person around but he doesn't feel that he has to be like all of the ''sheep'' in the radio industry. He doesn't think the choice of songs was the best either. He said he would have chosen something else to play. Gary said the ''moment of silence'' was only supposed to be a few seconds but their own station's board operator didn't know that and he let the silence go for 2 full minutes.
Howard had Lonnie Hanover from Scores on the phone to talk about what went on with the strip club. Lonnie said he and the Scores dancers have been out to the Hospitals and the Javits Center helping out with the rescue efforts. The strippers are ''disguised'' in regular clothing while they help out. Lonnie said that Scores reopened on Saturday night and people are trying to return to normal. He said it's getting close to normal at the club and people are having fun there. He's having fun also because he had to put up a lot of the dancers at his home because the girls were stuck in the city. Howard moved on to talk about how great this country is because we can go to a strip club and see women topless while in Afghanistan the women have to cover up just about ever inch of skin. He read some article that listed some of the rules over in that country and pointed out how great our freedom is.
A short time later Howard was telling Robin that there's no way he'll get on an airplane at this time. He said that's one area where terrorism can be effective. He's not flying anywhere. Robin said she'll get on a plane no problem though.
Howard said that the Clear Channel radio group apparently sent out a list of songs that they think shouldn't be played on their radio stations. Some of the songs included;
Howard had a bunch of tapes of bad songs that have been written about this terrible tragedy. Howard said he knows that the people's hearts are in the right place but the songs are just horrible. Howard first played tape of Mark Harris (the homosexual guy who married Martha Raye shortly before she died) singing a song about how great America is. He's just an awful singer and it turns out to be great material to goof on. Howard also said he got a request from Nancy Sinatra to play one of her father's songs about how great America is. He started to play that and wondered if it was the right song. Gary told him it was the right one so he played it and then realized it was in his later years when he couldn't sing quite as well as he used to. Then he compared Mark Harris and Frank together and they have very similar singing styles... frightening thought.
Howard went on to play some of the songs that listeners have sent in to him. He could only get through about 10 seconds of each song before he had to just shut them off because they're so bad. Howard said there should be a 7 year ban on these people writing songs. Once again he said he knows their hearts are in the right place but the songs were horrible. They ranged from Elton John-esqe songs to heavy metal songs. They either sang about our great country or how the World Trade Center buildings were brought down. Howard could only take so much of that before he had to move on to something else.
Howard went on to ask Courtney about her thoughts of joining the Marines. She said she called a Marine Corps recruiter anonymously and spoke to a Master Sergeant for 2 hours about joining the forces. She said she knows it would be a major chunk of her life but she's ready to serve her country. She said that she was hoping to be able to bring a nanny in to the barracks to take care of her daughter Frances Bean but she knows that won't happen. Howard finds it hard to believe that she would actually think of doing something like that. She said she may not get into the Marines but she may do something with the National Guard or something like that. Robin thinks she has no idea what she's in for though. Courtney said she really does know because she spoke to that Sergeant Major for 2 hours.
Courtney said she doesn't have a high school diploma but they told her they'd waive that fact if she passed a test to get in. Later in the interview a caller who was in the Army said that's not true. He said that you have to have a high school diploma to get into any of the armed forces and they must have been blowing smoke up her ass because the Sergeant Major just wants to get a $50 increase.
Howard told Courtney she's shown her patriotism enough by investing in the stock market. He said that anyone who pulls all of their money out of the market right now is a traitor. Howard told Courtney he's proud of her for doing that.
''Evil Dave'' was still in making rude comments about Jay Leno and many other things. At one point a Jay Leno impersonator called in and ''Evil Dave'' called him a ''big chinned dick bag.'' Howard took a bunch of phone calls before getting to Uncle Beetlejuice. He got a call from a fireman who wanted to praise the iron workers who have been helping to cut up the wreckage of the World Trade Center buildings. He said they work for 12 hours at a time and then sleep in their pick up trucks. Howard then said that all of these Police, Fire fighters and everyone else helping out down there deserve praise every day.
Howard asked Beet if he knew what he was dressed like today. He thought he was dressed like a clown. Howard told him he was dressed as Uncle Sam and he said ''Yeah, uncle Junior'' from The Sopranos. Obviously Beetlejuice had no clue what was going on. Howard asked him what he thought happened to the World Trade Center buildings. First of all he thought that the buildings were in Jersey. He did know that the ''F-ing Arabs'' made them fall down though. Howard had to hit the delay on him when he cursed. Howard asked him if he knew when they fell and he said ''82 or '86.'' Howard asked Beet if he knows who the President of the country is. Beet said that George Washington is President. At least he got the first name right.
Howard then started asking Beetlejuice who he hates other than the ''F-ing Arabs'' that he'd mentioned earlier. Beet said he hates the Jews and that he thinks they're the ones who actually brought down the towers. Howard then started mentioning groups of people like the Amish, the Eskimos and Antarcticans. Beetle said he hates them all. He hates the Indians, the blacks, the Eskimos, the Antarcticans, the Whites and just about every other group that Howard mentioned to him. He loves women though. It seemed that Howard found one group of people that he likes but then Beet said that he hates ''Jewish broads.''
Howard took a few phone calls for Beetlejuice and got him all wound up. He ended up saying that he was going to kill one of the callers after he called Beet some names. Howard wrapped up the interview saying that Beetle has an action figure coming out by the end of the year. To find out more info on Beetle and everything he's got going on just head over to JollyDwarf.com
Howard and Robin did a short news segment after letting ''Evil Dave'' do some comedy material before ending the show.
Howard said that someone, who will remain unnamed, told him it would be a good idea for him to go down to the World Trade Center disaster area and shake hands with the workers. Howard thinks that's unnecessary to do because those guys working down there are actually working and they don't need him getting in their way. Howard wanted to so something to help out so he planned to have a special phone number set up where his fans could make donations. As he was getting ready to announce it he found out the phone number wasn't set up yet so he had to bail out on the whole discussion. They had a P.O. box set up but Howard didn't care about that. He wanted the phone number today. General Manager Tom Chiusano came in and said that he was working on getting the number set up and they should have it by tomorrow... maybe. Howard joked that it's just like everything else around that station and nothing gets done quickly.
Howard changed the subject and said that Stuttering John, who doesn't golf much, made a bet with Tom Chiusano, who golfs a lot, that he could beat him at a game of golf. Howard thought John was nuts but he ended up beating Tom and won $1000! It turns out it was a one hole game but John beat him fair and square. John explained the whole thing to Howard about how cocky Tom was. Tom overshot the hole at one point and John was able to beat him by a stroke. It turns out John was drunk when all of this was going on so it makes it even funnier. John continued to goof on Tom because Tom is the stereotypical golfer and he's been playing since he was 15 years old. John told Howard how Tom dresses just the right way for the course and he had all the right clothing. Tom said losing anything to John is the worst because John will rub it in like you wouldn't believe. John said after he won he was running around in circles around Tom.
Howard took a break and came back wondering what happened with the 800 number he wanted to give out today to raise money for the clean up effort in New York City. He said he assumed that Tom was going to take care of it all yesterday but obviously he was wrong because it wasn't ready today. He was ready to spend a good part of the show trying to raise the money but he just ended up sitting there wondering what happened. He said he doesn't think other radio stations have problems like this. Howard finally gave out the P.O. box after a few callers just about begged him to do so. Here's the address:
The Howard Stern Show Relief Fund (Make checks payable to NYCPPI)
FDR Station
PO Box 869
New York, NY 10150
Howard gave out the address and thought he was done until Gary told him he had to announce who to make the checks payable to. Howard knew it was going to be a hassle not having a phone number to give out. Make checks payable to ''NYCPPI.''
After Serj got off the phone Howard and the crew continued to talk about some of the comments that Bill Maher made on his ''Politically Incorrect'' TV show about our people being ''cowards.'' They spent a few minutes discussing that whole deal and then talked about Jerry Falwell and how he's blaming this tragedy on the fact that we accept homosexuals in this country. He has made statements about how God is taking revenge on this country because we accept the homosexuals and other groups here. Howard thinks something needs to be done about that guy as well. Howard said that the religious kooks in this country are also targeting his show during this time of tragedy trying to get his show taken off the air. They're trying to take away our freedom just like the terrorists are.
When Ed McMahon called in Howard tried to find out if he ever got off to a cartoon. Ed wouldn't talk about anything like that though. He just avoided the whole subject as best as he could.
Howard spent some time talking to Ed about his relationship with Johnny Carson. Howard thinks that Ed and Johnny never liked each other and doesn't believe that the two of them were ever friends. Ed said that he and Johnny just had lunch a few weeks ago and they're still friends to this day. Howard still doesn't seem to believe that though.
Howard tried to find out about Ed's sexual past but, once again, he refused to discuss anything of that nature. He just wanted to promote his new TV show ''Next Big Star'' which airs on the PAX cable network Sunday nights at 6pm.
Ed asked Howard what it was like in New York this week. Howard told Ed how everyone in the city seems to be down, depressed or angry over everything that has gone on. Howard and Ed then spent some time discussing what they think this country needs to do. Howard said we need to start bombing the crap out of someone and Ed seems to agree with him. Ed pointed out we don't know exactly who our enemies are but we do need to find out who they are and fight them.
Ed told Howard this new TV show of his is like an extension of ''Star Search'' but they hope to have more stars come out of this show. Howard wondered why Ed would even want to keep working. He seems to think that Ed has plenty of money and he doesn't need to work. Ed told Howard he does it because he likes to work. He compared his career to Howard's career and said that Howard will probably keep doing what he does for as long as he can. Howard said that might be true because he has to make up for all of the money he lost in his divorce. Howard then started asking Ed about what kind of house he lives in now. Ed said it's a nice house but it's not a mansion. Someone asked him if he has a Butler. Ed said he doesn't have one but he does have a live in housekeeper. After the discussion it can be said that he's got a nice house with a pool and a housekeeper. That's about all we learned from that. Howard wrapped up the conversation and got off the phone with Ed. After the call he said he still doesn't believe that Ed and Johnny are friendly with each other.
This woman Debbie from WorldNetDaily.com who has been calling in quite a bit lately called in this morning. She and Howard spent a few minutes discussing this Coalition Against Terrorism thing that our country is putting together. She pointed out how all of the countries that promote terrorism are actually in the coalition so the whole thing is completely ridiculous. She said that we should be fighting our own wars instead of making ties with other countries that we know support terrorism. Howard joked around with Debbie for a few minutes about how smart she is and how much it turns him on because she claims that she's hot. She wouldn't discuss her cup size with Howard but she said he could check her out if he flies her in to New York for a visit sometime. Howard told her to call in tomorrow so they could discuss more about terrorism.
Tara used to be a camera woman for Howard's syndicated TV show. Today she and her friend Kristin came in to talk about their own TV show ''Trippin.'' Howard said when Tara worked there she always talked about how she wanted her own TV show where she would be paid to travel. Howard thought she was nuts at the time. She got her wish though. Tara and her friend put together a package with the Travel Channel and got some money to produce this show ''Trippin'' where they go out and show their views of what it's like to travel around the world. The show airs tonight on the Travel Channel at 9pm. Howard was trying to get Tara to tell the story from the beginning when she was working for his show but she kind of skipped all of that and just started talking about her show. She and Kristin told Howard what they do in the show and how they walk around in sexy clothing just going around to different locations. The show that airs tonight took place in Italy. They go to shows, drive fast cars and just have a good time on vacation. The girls said they didn't get laid while they were traveling because they were moving around every 2 days or so. They said they met some hot guys but nothing ever happened. They also said that they're very picky about their men so that might have something to do with it. Howard told everyone to watch the show tonight and wrapped up the interview.
After taking a break Howard said that Stuttering John was staring at him and making faces at him during the interview. John said there were rumors that Howard had been banging her while she was working there so he was just curious if anything ever happened. Howard said that wasn't true and wanted to know where John heard that. John just said there were a few rumors floating around at the time and a bunch of people kind of believed them. Even Gary said he kind of believed the rumors. Howard said Tara wouldn't have been interested in him but no one was believing that either. Gary said that John was staring at Howard when he was saying goodbye to Tara with this big, goofy smile on his face. John said he was looking for ''clues'' to find out if he banged her or not. John wanted Howard to swear on his mother's life that he never banged her but Howard sort of avoided doing that. He did swear on his mother's life but he didn't say that he swore that he didn't bang Tara when he said ''I swear on my mother's life...'' It's still somewhat of a mystery.
Howard spent a few minutes discussing the President's speech from last night. Howard and Robin discussed their feelings about what was said and wondered what this country is actually going to do.
Howard was playing the awful song that Mark Harris performed and sent to him to play. Howard said that Mark has threatened to not come back on the show if Howard makes fun of the song. Howard said it seems that they are making fun of the song so it looks like Mark may never return to the show.
Ronnie the limo driver came in and said that someone came down and dropped off a $100 donation to the station. Then Howard got a call from Fred the guy who runs GoldenPalace.com. He said that he's donating $10,000 to the fund.
DJ Chris Booker called in and said that he thinks Howard should give out the P.O. Box address that he gave out yesterday because a lot of people will want to donate that way. Howard eventually gave in and gave out the address again...
The Howard Stern Show Relief Fund (Make checks payable to ''NYCPPI'')
FDR Station
PO Box 869
New York, NY 10150
Then he brought up the fact that Booker is dating Jennifer Lopez's sister Linda. That became the subject of discussion for quite a while. Howard talked about how he invited Chris and Linda to the house he rented out in the Hamptons because he thought he'd get to see Linda in a bikini. The weather sucked so he never did get to see her in a bathing suit at all. He said he never would never have even invited Chris to his place if he didn't date Linda. Everyone was goofing on Chris about the whole situation and he just took it like a man. It seemed to be bothering him but he took it pretty well.
After that discussion Howard said his ear hurt and it was because he'd just recently taken his earrings out after about a year of not taking them out. He said his girlfriend pointed out that there was some crap built up on them. He took one out and there was so much gunk built up that he had to soak it and scrape it with a toothpick to get it all off. After doing that he felt he had to rearrange the 5 piercings that he has. He rearranged his hoops and studs into a pretty new design that he showed off to Robin. He and Artie then shared their stories about being afraid to get things like that done because of their parents. Artie is still afraid to get a piercing to this day because his father would have ''punched him in the face and called him a fag'' if he'd done so. Howard said it was his mother who didn't want him to get any piercings. He said he was 35 when he first told her he was going to do it and she warned him not to do it. Years later he finally got the balls to do it and after that he got 4 more.
Claudette also had another reason to call in. Robin was on ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' recently and she won some money. She's not allowed to say how much it was because the show hasn't aired yet. Robin decided to give that money to Claudette to do with it what she felt was right. She has decided to donate $30,000 of Robin's winnings to the relief fund that Howard has set up. Claudette said that Hank really loved New York City and he even talked about moving there some day. She thinks he would want her to donate that money to the families of the city employees who were lost in the disaster. Howard thanked her for doing that and ended the call a short time later.
Melrose also had some tape to play for Howard. He had tape of Bill Maher talking about how his show might be ended because of the comments he made about the terrorists not being cowards. Bill never apologized for his comments on his show but his audience was applauding what he was saying. Howard couldn't believe what Maher was getting applause for and he said he's going to tell Bill that he should just admit that he made some dumb comments and he should just admit it. Melrose also said that Bill blamed some ''shock jocks'' over something to do with his comments but the tape he played didn't really reveal much. Howard let Melrose get off the phone a short time later.
Even Fred was fired up over this Bill Maher thing. He was actually speaking out over it after the Melrose call. He said he's really angry that Maher isn't apologizing for the comments he made. Howard told him to save it until Bill called in.
Howard got Bill on the phone and told him what he thinks about his comments. He said he doesn't think that what was said was right and he didn't apologize the right way about them. Bill then told Howard what really happened that night and it sounded like he was adding on to his initial thought. He tried to add to what he'd originally said. He added that he should have said that we were cowardly in the past by bombing from a distance and perhaps we haven't fought this war on terrorism the right way up to this point. Bill also pointed out that no one had a problem with his comments that night. It was 2 days later when a couple of DJs down in Houston picked up on them and made them seem worse than they actually were. They got the attention of the media and they picked up on it and made it even worse. Howard and Robin seem to feel that he is just making more and more excuses for his comments. Bill says that he wasn't saying that our Military is cowardly, it's the politicians in the country that have acted in a cowardly way in the past.
They all argued about the whole situation for a few minutes and Bill wasn't changing his mind about any of it. Neither were Howard and Robin. They both think that Bill should have just apologized for what he said. He didn't do it that way. Actor Stephen Baldwin called in and backed up what Robin and Howard were saying. Everyone seemed to agree that it was very bad timing for Bill to have made those comments because it's a very sensitive time for the country. Stephen told Bill that he should think more before making comments like that ''at this time.'' He kept emphasizing the words ''at this time'' over and over again.
Bill said that he sure wishes that he never said any of this but one of his guests brought it up on his show and he commented on it. Howard told him he should just admit that his comments were stupid. He should say that what he was thinking and what he actually said were a little different.
Artie Lange got his digs in at Bill too. He got to say the same words Bill said to him on his show. He got to tell Bill ''Thanks Bill, for the DUMB opinion!'' Fred also got to speak out for a few seconds but his argument didn't go very far because Howard took over once again.
Howard tried to change subjects a bit by asking Bill if he's been out picking up hot chicks since all of this happened. Bill said there's a moratorium on picking up hot chicks right now because there's more important things going on. Everyone continued to pile on top of Bill though. They were all goofing on him and making fun of other things Bill has gotten in trouble for on his show. He once compared retarded people to pets so that was one of the things they goofed on him about.
Bill said he doesn't know if his show will be canceled or not but it's been dropped in 3 cities so far. Howard joked and said that it may have been dropped in 3 cities but it was picked up by the Taliban. Bill said he'll understand if ABC drops the show because they're trying to run a business there. He also said that he'd rather not have to watch every single word he says on the show because that's not what he does. He said he just wants to speak his mind and be honest.
Bill refused to say that his comments were dumb after Stuttering John asked him if he would. He said his comments were something that needed some explanation and what he said was not dumb. After almost an hour long, very entertaining discussion Howard finally brought it to an end and moved on.
Howard had High Pitch Erik come in a short time later. He was dressed in a camouflage uniform which barely fit his 305 pound body. Erik was in to sing his Mickey Mouse-sounding version of ''God Bless America.'' He did that and everyone was doing their impressions of his high pitched voice as he sang. After that he revealed that he and Joey Boots are going down to enlist in the Army. Everyone said there's no way they'll take him because he's so dumb and so fat. Erik did graduate from high school but he was in a special education class to do so.
Howard wanted to get Mike's game out of the way since he was calling long distance from Ireland. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard spoke to Erik for a little while longer. They had him try to do a sit-up and a push-up but all he managed to do was build up a sweat and show off his ass crack. KC said that Erik is going to get winded just filling out his application at the enlistment office.
Howard got a few more calls about the fund raising he's doing today. One guy from USA-Prescription.com called in and said he's donating $10,000 to the fund today. A few other people called in and told Howard that they were donating also. Even Mike Walker had said he's going to call and donate $200. Then Howard got a call from a guy who said that they don't accept American Express when you call that number. Once again Howard got a little upset that Tom Chiusano had done it again by not letting anyone know that fact. Howard hoped that they'd be able to take care of that and eventually have them accept American Express. Once again the number to call is 1-877-280-9200.