Howard said he watched the movie ''Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'' during his vacation also. He said it was pretty good but it was like reading a book because of the subtitles.
Howard welcomed Buffalo to the Howard Stern Network this morning. 92.9 WBUF just joined the family this morning so everyone way up there can enjoy the show. Howard told a story about how he tried going to Buffalo one time to visit a friend. He and his friends got pulled over and fleeced out of a couple hundred bucks by the cop and the judge who they saw. They had no money and ended up pan-handling for money at a Howard Johnson's restaurant so they could eat. Howard then related that story to an old ''Superman'' TV show where there was a town that moved around and the cops would arrest people driving through the town.
Stuttering John told a story about how Uzo once took him out shopping one time but John never bought her anything. She refused to have sex with him later that day but she did show him her private parts. The two of them made out but never had sex. John said that he now realizes that she wanted him to buy her stuff so she'd have sex with him. It never sunk in until now.
Howard was kind of pissed that the article used his name even though Uzo hasn't been on the show in years. One phone caller thinks that there had to be someone higher-up who was running the whole show. Howard doesn't think that there was anyone higher up though. Bloated Attorney Dominic Barbara also called in and said he doesn't think there was anyone running it other than Uzo. He also said there's no bail set for her because she can't use proceeds from the escort service for bail.
Howard said that Jeff Schick from IBM had a great Uzo story to tell also. Howard got a laptop computer one time and talked about how great it was. Then Howard had one of his birthday shows and Jeff was there with some other people like Marilyn Manson and others. Uzo showed up at their table and asked for Jeff. The people at his table all goofed on her and said they thought he was a jerk. Jeff went to the bathroom a short time later and Uzo walked into the bathroom behind him and said she knew who he was. She told him she'd do anything for a laptop computer. Jeff told her that's not the way they work and she left. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith just happened to be standing there at the urinal next to Jeff. Jeff told Steven that he never thought he'd see a rock star passed over for a computer guy.
High Pitch Erik called in to play some tape for Howard but he ended up getting goofed on instead. Howard talked about what a goof the guy is and how women always turn him down when they hear his voice. Everyone asked him some general knowledge questions and he didn't know half of them. He thought 7 times 7 was 42. Howard told him to try and lower his voice but it was tough for him to do. He said it hurt his voice to do it. It still sounded odd when it was lower. Erik eventually played the tape that he called in for. He had a news report about the whole Uzo thing so he played it before Howard finally hung up on him.
After playing that call Howard spent some more time talking about what everyone did on vacation. Jackie was down in Washington D.C. getting a tour of the White House from some Secret Service guy he met through his web site. He explained how he met the guy but the story was kind of weird. Jackie said he came home during the snow storm that hit the East coast late last week and it took him 11 hours to get home. They had to drive 25 miles per hour the whole way home.
Howard said he got a massage while he was in Grenada and at one point it looked like he was going to get a ''happy ending'' from the massage girl. She had him on his back with only his penis covered by a towel. She was rubbing his thighs up close to his package but she never did finish him off.
When she came in she and Gary did a quick comparison of their teeth. Howard said that her teeth fit her mouth better than Gary's do. Howard said she looks even better in person than she did on the TV show.
On last week's show Kimmi was portrayed as being a filthy person. Kimmi explained that she had been carrying dirty wood that day so that's why she was so filthy. She also said that the water near the camp was kind of stagnant and they had been dumping pig blood in there. That's why she avoided bathing.
Howard talked to Kimmi about the jobs she does now. She's a bartender and she also said she produces local TV commercials on Long Island. Howard read in The Star that she was a stripper at one time but she says that's not true. She said she worked in a strip club down in Texas but she wasn't a stripper.
Howard also asked her about what she did on her videotape submission to get picked to be on the show. She said she was walking around in a bikini with a sign that said ''Australia or bust'' and she watered plants while wearing lingerie among other things.
Kimmi told Howard that she lost a few pounds while she was there but she'd bulked up before going. She said she was eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream a day before leaving.
Kimmi was probably best remembered on the show for having a discussion about wondering where she could masturbate while she was on the island. She said that one of the guys sleeping in the tent with her had farted on her and the uptight chick Debb had told everyone that she never farts and no one is allowed to fart in her house.
Howard asked Kimmi what she was doing while they were killing the pig in her camp. She said she was doing one of her interviews while that happened. Howard thinks that the pig was either planted there or they drugged one so the group would be able to catch it. Kimmi said she doesn't know what happened there so she doesn't know if it was a plant. She said there were wild animals around so it could have been legitimate.
Howard asked Kimmi if she'd do Playboy if she was asked. She said she'd like to have a career first but if she was offered the right amount of money and things weren't going her way she might do it. Shortly after that Gary popped in and said that he'd give her $1000 if she'd take her top off. She didn't say no. She sat there laughing and thinking about it. Gary then upped it to $2000. She was still giggling and thinking about it. Gary then made his final offer of $3000. Kimmi sat there telling Howard that she was trying to get an answer from her head but it wasn't coming. She said she's not uptight about showing Howard but she didn't want the cameras on her. Howard eventually put up a 60 second clock and told her she had to decide. After the minute was up she hadn't said yes so they took away the offer. She almost did it. She told Howard that she'd flash him on her way out as long as she wasn't on camera. She told Howard that she made the mistake of talking to her mother before doing the show. Her mom told her ''don't show Howard your boobies'' so that was going through her head the whole time.
Kimmi's boyfriend called in after that and backed up her decision. He told Howard that if she showed her boobs on his show then Playboy might not ever make her an offer. They tried to tell the guy they weren't going to show any pictures of her anywhere and her boobs would be blurred out on the TV show but he didn't care. Kimmi told Howard that she and her ''special friend'' didn't want to tell anyone about their relationship because they work in the same industry. Gary coughed his guess of ''Boss'' and got it right.
Howard took a few phone calls for Kimmi before she left. He also asked her about what she did about wiping while she was there. She said they used the tampons the show provided. She said they unrolled the tampon to use it.
Ronnie the limo driver is a big fan and he was one of the people who got upset over the guy's death. He and Scott the Engineer are in a fantasy racing league together so they actually socialize together through that. Ronnie has a theory that Scott the Engineer's bad luck is what actually killed Dale Earnhardt.
Howard went on to goof on Ronnie about how much he hates driving the limo. He said that Ronnie hates driving but he's always reading and watching shows about racing. He goofed on him about that for a while. He also brought up the new limo Ronnie bought just for him. Howard said that he uses a phone in the limo all the time but the new car has a phone in a place that he can't reach it. He spent some time yelling at Ronnie about that whole thing too.
Someone also let Howard know that Ronnie has a credit card with NASCAR driver Ernie Irvan on it. Another thing for Howard and the rest of the crew to goof on him about. Stuttering John came in and told Howard that Ronnie is going to a driving school this summer... goofed on again. Ronnie said he might be going to a Winston Cup school but he hasn't made reservations yet.
Gary joined in on the conversation about Dale Earnhardt also. Gary doesn't understand the whole racing thing either. He asked Ronnie how a driver can make the difference when all of the cars are so close in performance. Ronnie explained that the driver can tell the team how to set the car up for the track and stuff like that. Ronnie went on to explain how Earnhardt was trying to help his own team by blocking others from getting ahead in the race when he lost his life.
Robin made a comment about how race car drivers aren't athletes. That brought up a whole discussion about that whole subject. Howard agreed with Robin that they're not athletes so Ronnie tried to argue that they are but everyone was ganging up on him. A phone caller asked Howard why he has to bash everything he doesn't like. Howard didn't say why he does that he just said that race car drivers just aren't athletes.
Howard was trying to go to take a break but he made the mistake of asking Ronnie if he was upset when Earnhardt hit the wall. Ronnie said he was kind of broken up over it. He was more upset when Ernie Irvan hit the wall a few years ago. Ronnie went on to tell everyone about what happens to these guys when they hit the wall going 180 mph. Everyone was still goofing on him though. Earlier in the conversation Ronnie had mentioned that he has a racing slick from Daytona that he got for $30. Ralph called in and made fun of him for that even though he collects dolls.. or action figures. Ronnie kept telling everyone that he's not ashamed of any of this stuff.
Gilbert Gottfried will be in one of the new episodes of ''Son of the Beach'' which will start airing next month. Howard said that they have him dressed up as a Hasidic Jew and it's the greatest role he's ever played. Mark Harris also appears in that episode as Schlomo the Homo.
Howard was whining about his TiVo this morning. He said that it keeps recording over his good shows. Robin tried to explain to him that he doesn't have it set up right but Howard didn't want to hear it. He said he knows what he has to do to fix his problem. He was upset that he was missing ''Buffy''.
Howard said he was watching the greatest tape ever this morning. It was a new report that had his old Program Director Kevin ''Pig Virus'' Metheny that he worked with at WNBC. Pig Virus is working at WTAM 1100 in Cleveland. The radio station did a charity thing where they collected coats for people who need them. A news station did an investigation and found that the station threw out three dumpsters full of the coats they collected instead of distributing them. They had Pig Virus commenting on the situation and he said the coats were not distributable because of stains and other problems. They showed him some of the coats and there were no problems with some of them. Howard spent a few minutes making fun of the whole situation and wondering why they didn't just distribute the coats. This guy Dave from Howard's Cleveland station called in and said that the whole thing was pretty funny. He claims that the afternoon guy on that radio station blasted the TV station that did the report and said that they were going to have them investigated.
Howard continued to goof on Pig Virus for quite a while. He was doing his impression of the guy making fun of his accent and his long winded explanation of the coat situation.
Howard moved on to talk about her book ''Nice Girls Do'' instead. In the book the Dr. Says that women should pleasure themselves to get in touch with their bodies. She said that she thinks women should masturbate because they can find out what works and what doesn't. This will help them in their sexual relationships.
Dr. Irene went on to tell Howard that he should do this technique called the spider touch on women. That's where you touch a woman like a spider walking on her. Very gentle touches in other words. Howard asked her when you can start squeezing and spanking them and just started laughing. Howard said he can put up with that spider touch stuff for about 2 to 3 minutes but then he has to start treating them rough. Dr. Irene told Howard that it takes a woman an average of a half hour to orgasm so that 2-3 minute thing won't work for them.
Howard moved on and took some phone calls for the Dr. Not much came out of that segment other than Howard yelling at Scott the Engineer for not having the phones set up correctly. Howard also plugged Dr. Irene's radio show that airs Friday nights on the Liberty Radio Network. You can call her at 888-999-1787.
After the call Howard went on to talk about MILFs (Mothers I'd Like To F***). He said he's seen a lot of good looking mothers lately. When he was on vacation he saw one really hot mother. He said at first he thought she was the nanny for the kids she was with but it turned out she was the mother. Howard said that Gary's wife is also a MILF. KC came walking in and Gary said that his mother is supposed to be a MILF also. KC didn't want to talk about it though because it's his mother.
The subject changed when KC started talking about his ''self-tanner'' that he used to keep his skin tone just right. He said over the weekend he had this spray on crap that he put on after taking a shower. He told Howard he sprayed himself down and later that night he had an allergic reaction to it. He broke out in hives after using the stuff. He went and got some cortisone to put on that night around midnight. He said one side of his body cleared up but the other side got it. He eventually went to the Doctor and it was starting to clear up. The Doctor was going to write him a prescription for something to get rid of it but KC didn't stick around long enough to get it. He went home and found that the hives were in his ears and on his knees. He then called poison control late last night. They told him that if it was something he sprayed on it wouldn't stick around so long. He's baffled by the whole thing. Gary thinks that it's mental but KC doesn't believe you can make yourself break out in hives just by thinking. He thinks that it got into his lungs and infected his whole body.
After Howard heard Tracy Bingham talking about how hot he is he told Gary to get her number. Gary came in and said that was an edited interview and before that question she was begging to get on the show. So she may have been just trying to kiss Howard's ass a bit.
Howard was also goofing around singing Kenny Loggins' song about Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh for some reason.
Howard moved on and played a couple of short clips from the Grammys. He also had tape of a commercial that Crazy Cabbie did for an upcoming appearance he's making at an Army Recruiting center grand opening. He'll be there to answer questions for anyone thinking of going into the Army. Howard found that funny because Cabbie is always complaining about how he has Gulf War Syndrome. He's also been in rehab a couple of times for drug and alcohol addiction. Cabbie wasn't there to defend himself though.
Howard was unable to get on the web site because his internet connection was down for some reason. He was looking forward to chatting with Gary on his site. Howard figures he must have someone typing for him on the site.
After the Gary call Stuttering John spent a few minutes making fun of Gary (baba booey, not the retard) and the way he eats and smokes.
Sal the Stockbroker called in at one point with a goof that he'd been doing all morning. He had tape of Pat Cooper saying stuff and he tried to get Howard to talk to the fake Pat. Howard hung up on him but Stuttering John mentioned that Sal ran into KC on the street the other day and KC was talking to himself. KC came in and said that was true and tried to give an explanation about why he does it. He basically said he hears voices in his head telling him to do violent things and he has to talk himself out of thinking about them. He gave one example about seeing a baby and thinking ''What would happen if I threw the baby?'' He then has to try and think of something else so he won't think about that thought anymore. So he then talks about something out loud to distract himself. He made sure to tell everyone that the voices he hears are his own, not someone else's.
Gary said he saw Alan King there and he looked happy until he walked by their table. As soon as King saw Gary and Jackie his smile turned upside down and he passed by their table. That from a guy who claims he doesn't know who Howard is.
Howard said in the latest Maxim Magazine there's an article about how to steal or scam free stuff. He mentioned how you can get a free hamburger from a restaurant like McDonalds. It tells you to just grab a bag out of the garbage outside, go in, tell an employee that you didn't get the right order and they'll just throw in a hamburger to get rid of you. Benjy came in and said that you can also take advantage of their ''satisfaction guaranteed'' thing and just tell them you didn't like the burger you got. They'll give you another one to make you happy.
KC said that his friend used to take his own pubic hair and put it in the food to scam his meals.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the articles that came out up in the Buffalo area after his show started broadcasting up there on Monday.
Howard also spent a couple of minutes talking about Dr. Laura Schlessinger. He had tape of her making no sense on some show talking about gays.
A listener called in and asked Howard if he had anything he could win today. Howard had a trip to France to give away courtesy of the DVD movie release of ''The Doors'' with Val Kilmer. The guy had to answer 3 out of 5 questions that KC brought in. Before Howard got to the game he spent a couple of minutes talking about KC's wacky problems that they went over yesterday. They were talking about the voices he hears in his head and how strange that is. Howard said he told someone about KC yesterday and that person thinks that KC is really disturbed. Howard asked Fred if he's ever had thoughts similar to KC's. Fred said he doesn't have thoughts of killing babies like KC does.
KC had a bunch of general questions and the caller had to get 3 out of 5 correct. Here are the questions:
The Albany St. Patrick's day parade is probably not going to happen for Howard. He was asked to go up there to appear on the Albany radio station's float but it's too much hassle for everyone to go up there.
Howard thinks that the two of them broke up but Mandy can't talk about it until tomorrow because the final episode airs tonight.
Howard found it funny that she was freaked out when she saw her man with other women but she was licking stuff off of guys nipples at the same time. Mandy told Howard that she'd never cheated on Billy in their 2 year relationship. She also said that if she was with guys on the show it wasn't really cheating either because they were to be single while there. Mandy told Howard that the guys they were tempted with were chosen specifically for them so it was very tempting.
Mandy said that she is still in contact with the other women she was with on the island. They're still friends and they're the only ones she can discuss the show with right now.
Mandy says that she has a singing career that she's working on right now. She didn't sing any of her own stuff on the show because then FOX would own the songs she sang. She said she's made money modeling her feet in the past. Howard checked them out and showed off his own pretty feet.
Howard wondered when Mandy lost her virginity. He was guessing that it was around the age of 14. Robin said she thinks it was more like 18. Mandy wasn't talking about it much but she did end up saying that it was after high school so Robin might have been right. Howard also wondered if she's a natural redhead. Mandy said she's actually a blonde. Howard asked her if she dyes ''down there'' but she refused to talk about that either.
Gary came in after a phone caller asked how much it would take to get her top off. Gary offered her $1000 then moved all the way up to $3000. She refused to do it. Robin told Howard he had her all wrong. Howard then found out that Playboy offered her $1.5 Million to do a shoot for them.. and she turned it down! Howard couldn't believe that. She told him that she wants to get her singing career going and she doesn't want to be associated with that type of thing. Howard and Gary both told her that other famous people have done that magazine and they haven't had any problems. She pointed out that they were famous before doing it though. Mandy says she's very confident about her singing and she thinks she can make it big. Howard told her that he'd have to have her back to sing because he needs to hear just how great she is.
Jessica Hahn called in at one point to give Mandy some advice. Jessica said she's still mad at Howard... more on that later. Jessica told Mandy that doing Playboy was the best thing she ever did. She told Mandy that she's beautiful and she should just go for it and do it. Jessica told her that Playboy is a very classy magazine and no one will look down on her for doing it. Mandy later thanked Jessica for the advice. Another caller told Howard that Mandy actually turned down a record deal because she was afraid they'd turn her into the next Britney Spears. Mandy said that was true. She's more of a rocker than a pop-star though.
Jessica Hahn started to tell Howard about why she recently called a radio host and said she was mad at Howard. What she was describing didn't make much sense though. She said that it wasn't really Howard she was mad at, it was his fans who were harassing her. She told Howard about how two cops invaded her home, handcuffed her for a half hour and did some other stuff. It was all very confusing and Howard didn't have time to deal with it right then because Mandy had to get going. More on Jessica later.
Howard had Fred head off to Robin's sound proof booth so they could have Joe play the game. Joe has 60 seconds to answer as many of the following 7 questions as possible. Here they are:
Melrose Larry Green called in and yelled at Jessica. He called her a liar and told her to produce the paperwork about all of these so-called attacks to prove she's not lying. She says she could do it and she can give names of all of the cops and locations.
Stuttering John came in and asked Jessica if she's on any medications that might cause her to hallucinate or something. She didn't find that funny. She says she's not crazy. Howard told her that he's afraid to call her now because of what she said on that radio show weeks ago. She apologized for that but Howard's still not calling her off the air. Gary said he would call her later this morning.
Howard said they also talked about how Robin is taking some people out to lunch for Jackie's and Robin Radzinski's birthdays. She invited Gary, John, Fred and a couple of other people. The biggest surprise was that she invited Scott the Engineer. He never gets invited to stuff like that so he's thrilled that he's going. Robin said that she invited him only because he just happened to be in the same room when she invited Fred. She said she felt Scott's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head so she felt compelled to invite him.
After that conversation Howard and the crew spent a few minutes talking about all of the practical jokes that they've played on each other over the years. Gary and John were at each other's throats too. John has been making fun of Gary quite a bit lately and Gary's fed up with it. He told John that he really doesn't need him in his life anymore. John takes too much joy in making fun of Gary and he's really sick of it. Gary said that when Jackie does it it's kind of fun but John is just relentless.
Gary said Jackie's wife sat at the opposite end of the table from him and he probably spoke to her more than Jackie did. ''That's marriage'' Howard said. Nancy actually sat next to Scott the Engineer instead of her husband. Even Fred said he was surprised to see her not sitting next to her husband. Howard didn't think it was that big of a deal. He wonders why a guy has to sit next to his wife at all when they go out.
Sal the Stockbroker somehow figured out where the party was being held so he was making phony phone calls to them. Gary said that Stuttering John is convinced that Sal called every restaurant within half a mile of the radio station to find them.
Robin and Gary were also talking about how Jackie sops up everything off his plate with a balled up piece of bread. Gary then wondered why Jackie makes fun of the way he eats.
Robin said she got Jackie a little book and reading glasses so he could read it as well as a battery powered singing lobster as gifts. Stuttering John changed the subject and started talking to Robin about her boyfriend Mr. X. He told Howard she told him that she and Mr. X will sometimes have sex when she gets home in the afternoon. Robin said that it might happen once in a while but it's not a regular thing. We also learned that Mr. X doesn't sleep over at Robin's house. They don't live together and he doesn't even spend the night. That surprised Howard for some reason.
Howard's buddy Richie Notar called in from some strip club that he was partying at. Howard read that President Clinton was at his restaurant Nobu the other day and it was a pretty big deal. Howard asked Richie why he didn't call him so he could hang out with Clinton. Richie just laughed about that.
Howard played some voice mail that people have left lately. One of the people said that Howard must be gay. Howard said that his kids must think that too because his youngest one comes up to him and tells him that Emily and Debra tell her that he's gay. Howard just goes along with it.
Howard spent the rest of the interview asking Janine about which lesbian scenes have been her favorites. Janine said that Jenna Jameson and Jill Kelly are a couple of her favorites. She said that it's hard to pick just one as her favorite though.
Howard also asked her about her boyfriend Ricky Rachtman. Howard wondered if she ever brings in other women to their bedroom to have a 3 way. Janine said they do that once in a while but she's the one that wants it more than he does. She said they'll sometimes go to Las Vegas and invite one of her friends to come along and share a room with them. After drinking a lot of alcohol they'll eventually go ahead and do their thing. Janine said she and her friend will usually go at it while Ricky watches.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and then plugged the stuff that Janine is doing. Janine will be dancing at Deja Vu on Farmers Blvd. at JFK Airport in New York this Friday through Saturday. She's also a boxing manager in the Thunderbox league. Janine also has a new web site coming soon called JanineLand.com
Every time Howard tried to bring up a subject to talk about with Dr. Ruth she'd shoot it down and refuse to talk about it. He tried asking her about how she joined the Israeli army and became a sharp shooter at the age of 16. She didn't want to talk about it. It turns out that she has an autobiography coming out later this year and she doesn't want to tell the stories before the book is out.
Since Dr. Ruth was a sharpshooter at one time Howard asked her if she thinks Lee Harvey Oswald could have killed JFK. She said she really doesn't know. Howard thinks he was the only one and there was no other shooter.
Howard's questioning eventually took it's toll on Dr. Ruth. She stood up and started to walk out at one point but Howard got her to come back. All she wanted to do was plug her friggin book. Howard mentioned that she's had like 8 books published and she had to correct him. She said she's had 17 books published. Howard made many attempts to question Dr. Ruth about her dating life now that her husband is dead but she still wasn't talking. All she wanted was plugs, plugs, plugs. You can e-mail Dr. Ruth at DrRuth@aol.com
Howard was about to start the press conference but when he hit the button to get them on the satellite feed it was just his voice synthesizer that came up. Scott the Engineer had to come in and fix the problem. He actually admitted that it was his screw up that caused the problem.
Howard finally got to the press up in Buffalo and let them ask their dopey questions. It was the usual line of questioning about how well he thinks he'll do and stuff like that. There were a couple of college girls who asked a couple of questions about Howard's dating life. Howard told them that he has tried dating and he is dating someone now. He didn't mention names though.
As Howard was wrapping up the press conference someone asked Howard for his 3 worst guests. Gary had to come in to remind Howard of some of the worst. Names like Weird Al Yankovic, Robin Williams, Paul Reubens, Eddie Van Halen, Warren Beatty and the Beastie Boys came up. Howard said he likes Weird Al but he wouldn't answer questions. Robin Williams was too quiet and Eddie Van Halen was too wacky wandering around the studio the whole time.
After the press conference Howard spent some time talking about how wacky Kathie Lee Gifford is. He had tape of her on some show talking about the rumor that she might take over for Rosie O'Donnell when she retires. In the interview Kathie Lee says she doesn't know where the rumor came from but then she says she did talk to Rosie about taking over. Howard thought that was pretty strange.
A listener called in and asked Howard if he thinks Heather Locklear and Pam Anderson have ''hit the wall'' yet. The guy said he's seen them lately and they're starting to show their age. Howard said he thinks both of them still look great. Gary said that sometimes Pam's makeup is what makes her look bad. He said he's seen her in person without so much makeup on and she's a very beautiful woman.
Howard and the crew also spent a short time talking about ''Temptation Island''. Howard didn't see the final episode yet but everyone else did. Stuttering John said the final episode was done poorly but Robin disagreed. Howard loved the show but there are no plans for another season yet. Gary said that the commercial breaks were very short because there were so few advertisers.
Howard was reading an article about President Bush's daughter Jenna whose boyfriend was arrested for underage drinking the other day. He read some of it on the air and talked about how the boyfriend was eventually picked up from jail by the Secret Service.
Howard also read an article about a Jew in Brooklyn who was a collector of Nazi memorabilia. Howard said that the guy was caught after an off duty cop heard him target shooting. The cop went to see where the gun shots were coming from and the guy ended up pointing the gun at the cop. The funny part was that when the cops went back they found that the guy was using a picture of his mother-in-law as the target.
Howard watched ''Survivor'' last night and thought the guy falling into the fire was pretty wild. Howard was amazed that they didn't have a camera on the guy at the time he fell into it. The skin was peeling off the guy's hands as he tried to cool them down in the river. Howard said he heard that the guy could have a lawsuit now but Robin told him that's probably not possible because they sign all kinds of waivers when they agree to be part of it.
Gary said that they asked Mandy if she'd appear in the magazine but the money that she claims she was offered just wasn't true. They never made an official offer after first asking her if she wanted to appear at all.
After getting off the phone with Gary Howard played a clip of Mandy's music that she was talking about on the show yesterday. It was very ''Britney Spears'' according to Howard and Robin. That's what Mandy was hoping her music wouldn't be.
Howard went on to talk about the final episode of ''Temptation Island'' that he finally watched yesterday.
Howard also wondered who might be the winner on ''Survivor''. Robin said she thought the guy who fell into the fire had a chance but now he's off the show. Howard also said that he used to think that Jerri was pretty hot on the show but she's so annoying that it ruins the whole thing. He thinks that the chick that's always hanging around Jerri might be the hottest one now. He didn't know her name though. He later found out her name is Amber.
Howard wanted to get the game done with so he could talk to David a little more so here's how it goes. Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. You can win money there also. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spoke to David a little more about his new instrumental album after the game. Howard even played some of the songs and made up his own funny lyrics. Howard was singing lyrics about being in Bon Jovi and hating the other members of the band.
Howard also talked to David about what he does now that he's rich from the Bon Jovi fortune. He said he stays at home quite a bit but now he has the album out and he's hoping to get out of the house again. Howard was talking to David about his giant Joker tattoo on his chest when Gary came in. Gary told Howard that they had to speak to William Shatner right then or they'd lose him. Howard didn't want to do that to David but he did it anyway. Read on...
Shatner shared the story of how he met his new wife who's in the Horse training business. Shatner works with horses also and they fell in love after meeting. Shatner said his kids all like her.
Shatner lost his wife not that long ago and he said that this love has helped conquer his grieving. Howard said that vagina has amazing healing properties. Shatner said that he did have her sign a pre-nuptial agreement so he doesn't lose all of his money.
Howard heard that there were problems in his relationship right after they got married but Shatner said that's not true. Everything is just fine. He said the only cracks in their relationship are on his face.
Howard wrapped up both the Shatner interview and the David Bryan interview after asking them both ''Are you still nimble enough to perform 69?'' David said yes, Shatner said he can only get to 68.
Howard also said David hates when he calls his wife Courtney Cock. He immediately started calling her that and it pissed David off. David threatened to swear himself. He asked Howard if he likes it when he calls him Howard Sperm. Howard said he doesn't care because it's childish.
Howard said the last time David was on he cut some IDs that were really funny but then he called Gary a couple days later and asked them not to play them anymore. Howard thinks his wife has been taming him down too much. Howard asked David if all of the rumors about their marriage failing are true. David said they're all untrue and they come at a time when his wife is actually being very supportive of his career. He said it's kind of upsetting that he has to read all of these lies.
Howard also asked David what he thinks Matthew Perry's problem is on ''Friends''. He just went back into rehab and Howard was wondering what's going on there. David said Matthew must just have an addictive personality. He doesn't know the whole story and he might just be unhappy.
David said that he hasn't been to any pill parties lately but he used to throw them himself. He's done with that part of his life now that he's got Courtney. He said they don't go to marriage counseling anymore. They just did that before they got married so things would work out. He thought it was necessary. ''Especially when it's you...'' Howard added.
Howard promoted all of David's movies and said he's also appearing in an upcoming episode of ''Son of the Beach''. David plays the head of a bicycle gang. His name in the show is Johnny Queefer.
Howard noticed that David had his wrist tattooed and asked if he has any Courtney tattoos on him. David said he does have a ''CC'' tattoo on his shoulder.
Howard let a few phone callers goof on David before he left. One guy asked if Courtney likes Anal sex. He didn't answer that one. Robin asked him what kind of birth control they use. David said they don't use any. Howard figured out he just pulls out so he asked him where he ''makes his mess''. David didn't answer that one either. A phone caller told Howard that he heard David's next movie will be called ''See Courtney Cock Run'' when she leaves him.
Jack came in this morning with a whole crew of people who had stuff to demonstrate. Jack is managing a bunch of companies so he's trying to promote them all at once on the show. He mentioned that the web site Boobs.com is one client. They have the ''biggest boobs in the world'' on the site. He also mentioned some movies called ''Marathon Lover'' and ''Under My Spell''. Then there was this bubble machine called Shiny Bubbles. Jack described it as being a bubble machine that you use in the dark. He said the bubble fluid glows in the dark so it's good for strip clubs and stuff like that. When the girls dance under it they get the fluid on them and start to glow. He had a few women there to demonstrate it. Howard didn't understand the whole idea but he let them turn the machine on anyway. The machine worked fine but they said to see the glowing they'd have to turn all the lights out. If they did that they wouldn't be able to see anything on camera though. The three women, all porn actresses, danced around the machine but Howard never saw the glow. He did get the three of them to kiss though. The porn women were Jolean, Bianca and Cassie. They didn't have any web site to promote but Jack did. He said you can get the bubble machine at ShinyBubbles.com.
The part of Al Pacino's baby was played by comedian Craig Gass. You can e-mail Craig at email@example.com to find out where he'll be appearing.