Stuttering John missed the Yankees game last night because he was out seeing ''The Producers'' on Broadway. He brought a portable TV set with him and got yelled at a couple of times but he was also giving everyone there updates on the score. John told Howard that ''The Producers'' was really good. Artie Lange had told Howard that it wasn't that great recently so he told John that if he was watching the 7th game of the World Series at the same time he was watching the play, he would have enjoyed it too. Howard said that John has balls to actually bring a TV to a Broadway play. He said he'd never have the balls to do that himself.
Stuttering John said he got in a bar brawl over the weekend. He was out at some bar watching one of the World Series games and some drunk guy ended up yelling at his wife about something so he got in a fight with him. He didn't have much of a story to tell other than that though.
Howard spent some time talking about his weekend. He said Friday he took his 8 year old daughter out to a play for kids and had fun doing that. Then he got a call from John Stamos and his wife Rebecca who were on the show Friday. They all ended up going out to dinner and a club called Sweet 16. Artie said he was at that club the night before Howard was and there were a lot of chicks there. Howard said he had a bottle of vodka and a bottle of cranberry juice at his table so they could make their own drinks. Howard said the club set him up with a bodyguard because they know people will hassle him. Howard noticed that some guy who looked like he was ''from outer space'' stood there staring at him and his girlfriend. Howard asked the guy if there was a problem and the guy said ''No, I just want to watch.'' The guy just wanted to stand there and stare at what Howard was doing. Howard asked the bodyguard to move the guy away from them. Then Howard, his girlfriend, John Stamos and Rebecca were all dancing and there was nobody around. The bodyguard had cleared half the room so there wouldn't be anyone around him. Howard eventually got too embarrassed and sat back down.
After the night out with John and Rebecca they all went back to Howard's apartment again. Howard said John and Rebecca ended up staying at Howard's apartment but they stayed on the other side from Howard's room. Nothing happened according to Howard. Nothing like what they described on last Friday's show anyway.
A phone caller brought up the Hugh Hefner Roast that was on Comedy Central last night. He said that both Artie and Gilbert Gottfried were really funny on the show. The caller ended up playing some clips from the Roast for Howard. He played Artie's monologue which was pretty funny. Howard sat through that and wasn't sure if he wanted to sit through Gilbert's segment. He got about 30 seconds in and bailed on the caller. He and Artie then spent a couple more minutes talking about being there at the taping of the Roast.
After getting off the phone with Dallas Howard said he'd like to create a game show where they give this guy the $100,000 he's looking for and then as he's getting ready to fly into our hollow earth, we just shoot him... or let his father shoot him for having such a wacky idea.
Howard changed the subject and moved on to talk about some stuff he got in the mail the other day. Someone sent him some crime scene photos from when Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra got into a fight down in Miami at a hotel. Howard went through some of the photos describing what each one was. The photos showed each of them showing their injuries and what the apartment looked like after the fight. Howard said this was just to lead up to the big surprise in the photos. He said it looks like Dennis doesn't wear underwear and the cops took a picture of his pants that were bundled up on the floor... with a shit stain in them. Howard said it wasn't a little skid mark either, it was a big crap in his pants. You could hear Gary let out a huge ''Ohhhh!'' when he saw the picture in the studio. Robin said ''That's a nightmare!'' when she saw the mess. This is one of the perks Howard gets as a radio talk show host. He said he'd never get to see this kind of stuff if he wasn't on the radio.
After college he spent some time as a janitor at a rehab center. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him about that and then moved on to play the game with him. Stuttering John placed a $100 bet with Howard against Fred in this game. Fred has only lost once or twice in the history of the game. He only went to community college and Donal went to Harvard so it should be a blow out. In the game Howard sends Fred into another room so he can't hear the answers. He then asks the contestant 7 questions and he has to answer them all in 60 seconds. Fred then comes in and tries to beat him. Here are the questions and the correct answers:
After the game Howard told everyone about how he was invited down to testify at some Congressional subcommittee meeting about the distribution of funds collected for the September 11th tragedy. Congressman Bill Towsend invited him down to testify and to honor what Howard has done as far as collecting money for the tragedy. Howard said he just wanted to let everyone know that he could have been down there to do that tomorrow but he's got a lot of other things he has to do. Robin said that he should go but it doesn't sound like he will.
Howard got back to Donal for a few minutes and took some phone calls and just killed some time talking to him about a few things before wrapping up the interview.
Right before Robin came in Howard played a commercial parody for a product called ''Penisin'' that was pretty funny. Leach seemed to find it pretty funny because he referred to it a few times during the interview.
Howard pointed out how many hot chicks Leach is always getting. He recalled the story of when he hung out with Leach in Jumby Bay. Howard said Leach had a hot blonde running around while a bunch of the native blacks down there served him. Howard said he got so jealous that he had to leave the house. Howard said he doesn't get jealous anymore.
Leach told Howard that there are tons of beautiful women in this world and he would like to be with each of them... at least until they utter the words ''when are we getting married?'' Leach said he was married once and he'll never get married again. He's had a couple of palimony suits brought against him but he said they were settled by his lawyers before they got to court.
Howard brought up another story about Robin showing up at a strip club he was at down in New Orleans. Howard said he thought Robin was mad at him that day because he didn't spend any time with him but it turns out he was just being a guy and picking up chicks. Leach said he made out very well that day at the club.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Leach about his gig in ''The Rocky Horror Show.'' Leach said that Dick Cavett is leaving for 10 weeks and many celebrities will be taking over for him during that time. He hasn't learned his lines yet but he said he gets to read out of a book anyway so he can cheat. You can find more info about the show at RockyHorrorLive.com
Howard asked Leach, who said he's 60 years old, how young he'll date. Howard and Robin asked Leach if he'd date a 21 year old. After he said he would the numbers started going down. He eventually said he doesn't bother asking age because even 17 year olds can be very mature. Howard joked that he should change his name from Robin Leach to Robin D'Cradle. Leach also said that he will date women closer to his age if they're hot. He said he recently dated a 52 year old woman, but she didn't look her age. Howard wrapped up the interview after taking a couple of phone calls for Robin.
Howard said he had a dream last night where he was in college and had missed a bunch of classes and had to catch up. KC came in and said he has the same type of dreams and wondered what that meant. Howard told him it means he's gay and told him to go away.
Howard said that he'll be voting Mike Bloomberg for Mayor of New York City today when he votes. Howard said he really hasn't looked into either of the candidates but Mayor Giuliani and Governor Pataki are both backing Bloomberg. Howard played a couple of the advertisements that they run on his radio station for Bloomberg where they really bash Mark Green for what he's done recently. Late in the show yesterday Howard and Artie were goofing on the ads adding their own lines to them. Howard continued to do that again this morning. Howard does an impression of the announcer and makes up all kinds of completely wacky stuff about both of the candidates.
Howard said he enjoyed making fun of the Emmy tapes late in the show yesterday. He said that Ellen DeGeneres is getting praised for her job hosting the show. He doesn't get it because all she did was tell a few lame jokes she read off a teleprompter.
Howard said Artie Lange has been on the show long enough that General Manager Tom Chiusano gave him a booklet on the proper way to talk on the radio as far as sexual innuendo and stuff like that goes. Howard said he got the book too but he never bothered to read it. Artie did read it and pointed out some places in the booklet that he found interesting. Howard read a couple of them on the air and they were obviously written by lawyers because it's all confusing double-talk. Artie said Howard and Robin are quoted throughout the booklet but they're just listed as ''H.S.'' and ''R.Q.''
Howard had to take a break and when he came back he asked where his next tape was. Gary then handed it to him and Howard went crazy for a few seconds. He couldn't understand why Gary didn't give him the tape before sitting down on the couch. Gary said that Howard didn't know what the tape was so he wanted to explain it. Howard thought he knew but he was wrong. It was tape of Robin talking about her favorite guests on the show. She drew a blank when Regis asked her who the strangest guest was so Regis asked who her favorites were. Robin ended up saying that Gary Busey was one of the most interesting guests. Howard couldn't get his mind off the clip of Big Foot talking to Regis so he ended up replaying that. Of course that led to Howard doing his impressions of Big Foot and Regis having a discussion again. Howard then played the $250,000 question and Robin wasn't able to figure out the correct answer even after using her audience lifeline. She then decided to stick with the $125,000 that she'd won.
Howard said they had fun listening to the tapes and goofing on them. Robin said doing that show wasn't fun for her.
Howard brought up one thing they spent some time talking about on yesterday's show. Stuttering John bringing a portable TV to the Broadway play ''The Producers'' was interesting enough that Howard wanted to talk about it again today. John brought the TV with him so he could keep an eye on the Yankees game Sunday night. A couple of people ended up asking him to turn the TV off because it might interfere with the sound system in the theater. John said there were a lot of people there who were more interested in the score of the game than the play.
Crazy Cabbie called in so he could give Mike Bloomberg his endorsement like Howard did earlier in the morning. That led to Howard playing the commercials he played earlier. He did his bit where he makes up stuff about the candidates again too.
Howard changed the subject and spent a couple of minutes talking about how they seem to have shut Dennis Miller up on Monday Night Football. He gets to ramble nonsense at the start of the game but he's pretty quiet for the rest of the game. Howard played a clip of a recent game where Dennis babbled on and on about stuff that some people just don't care about when they're trying to watch a football game.
Howard also quickly mentioned that they have a Queen for a Day contest coming up soon where the grand prize will be $25,000 courtesy of GoldenPalace.com. Howard said he's not sure if it'll be men or women competing in the game but it'll be sometime soon.
Howard gave out the show phone number and encouraged women who want to meet the producers of porn to call the show because they're giving away a trip to the AVN (Adult Video News) Awards show out in Las Vegas. The woman who gets to go will present the award for Best New Starlet at the show. Just call 1-800-44-STERN to find out more.
Howard and the guys convinced her to show them her boobs quickly but she didn't let them stay out long. The guys wanted to see how low they hang because she said something about having an 8 year old son. She was rambling quite a bit so the guys goofed on her about that too. Artie Lange kept saying things to her and she had no idea where the voice was coming from. They told her it was her conscience talking to her. Her giant eyebrows came up a few times and Artie called it a caterpillar and someone caller her ''Groucho'' at one point.
Jenna started to tell Howard why her marriage failed but it bored him so much he just wanted her to leave. She said something about her husband beating her and Howard said he doesn't condone that but he kind of understands why he did it. She never shut up the whole time she was in the studio. Howard asked her to leave about 10 minutes in but she just kept talking and doing stuff that annoyed him. She was going to play the drums at one point but she ended up showing her ass very quickly. Howard missed it but didn't ask to see it again. During her ramblings Jenna said something about someone making a movie about her life. No one believed that story so as she was leaving Artie told her to come back on the show when the movie comes out. Robin said that she overheard Jenna asking for documentation for proof that she was on the show for some reason.
Howard also had tape of Melissa Etheridge talking about her lesbian lover and Drew Barrymore talking about some crap she had written on her arm while she was on ''The Tonight Show.'' Howard and the crew spent a short time goofing on Drew.
Conan O'Brien told a joke on his show about how the U.S. is broadcasting into Afghanistan and that explains why people over there are walking around saying ''Baba Booey.'' Howard said that Conan is a nice guy but he doesn't tell jokes very well. Gary said he's a better interviewer than a joke teller.
Howard had tape of Bill Maher apologizing for some stuff he said on his show. Artie had some fun goofing on that.
Gene Simmons of KISS was on some talk show explaining what's going on in the world right now. After listening to the tape Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about. Howard said he really shouldn't be talking about politics... He's a guy who dresses in clown makeup for a living.
Howard said that their new Mayor is Mike Bloomberg, whom he claims he backed from the beginning. Howard said he voted all Republican because when he saw pictures of the Democrats running he thought they all looked like troublemakers. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about that before taking a break.
A phone caller asked Howard if he watched ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' last night because they did a musical version of the show. Howard said he tried to watch it but it was so gay that he couldn't watch it all. He said the show is always kind of gay but it was really bad last night. Howard's buddy Ralph told Howard that maybe if he smoked some weed he could get into it. Howard thought that was a pretty good idea but he didn't have any weed himself so that was out of the question. Howard played a couple of clips from the show so everyone could hear just how bad it was. Then Howard broke into song for 30 seconds doing his own musical version of his show.
One of Howard's interns came in and said that it was one of the best ''Buffy'' episodes ever. Howard asked her how she could say that being a fan of the show. She ended up talking about what happened in the show and gave away the ending which Howard didn't get to see. Howard said that ''Buffy'' has finally ''Jumped the Shark'' with that episode.
Dallas wants to prove whether or not his theory is true and then come back on the show. Howard said he'll be there with cameras if or when he does try to fly through the center of the earth. You can find out more about this guy when you visit fly.to/hollowearth
After the call from the usher, John's assistant -- yes he has an assistant -- called in and said that he really is the most inappropriate person. Apparently he does a lot of stuff that he shouldn't do. Howard quickly spoke to her and tried to move on but KC came in and said he was confused because Stuttering John has an assistant. Howard said not only does he have an assistant, he's got a nanny, a home on Long Island and an apartment in Manhattan. He's one step above an intern and he's got all of that stuff.
After the call Howard took a few phone calls and one guy won the chance to come down to the station tomorrow so he can smell Kid Rock's fingers when he's in. Howard doesn't know if Kid Rock will agree to that but he'll have the guy waiting outside just in case he does allow it.
Another caller begged Howard to bang his lonely mother. Howard told the guy that he'd let him come down to the station with his mother so he can check her out. He said if she's not an ''old hag'' he'll bang her for the guy. The guy told Howard that his mother looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones with a thousand miles on her. The guy should be down tomorrow with his mother.
Ed came in and Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him before playing the game. Howard pointed out that Ed was a Marine during World War II. They discussed the September 11th attacks for a couple of minutes and Ed said he felt the same way on September 12th as he did on December 8, 1941. He was very upset about the attacks. Howard kept changing the subject and kept bringing up Johnny Carson's name. But Ed didn't seem to want to talk about him the way Howard did.
Howard quickly got to the ''F***, Marry, Kill'' game and told Ed how they play it. Howard gave him the three names and then told Ed his choices. Here are the names and Howard's picks for the first group:
After the game howard spent more time talking to Ed about Johnny Carson and stuff like that. It seemed like Ed really didn't want to stay on that subject and at one point he jokingly threatened to leave. Howard had a bunch of facts on Johnny and Ed and their work on ''The Tonight Show'' so he went through some of that with Ed. Howard tried to find out how much money Ed was making when they first started the show and what he was making at the end. Ed wasn't talking dollar amounts but he said he had a good deal going toward the end of the show. He said at one point, NBC said that 17 percent of their profits were coming from ''The Tonight Show'' alone so they were worth a lot of money to the company.
Ed spent a little bit of time talking about his 5 kids and his 3 marriages with Howard. He said his first marriage lasted 26 years, his second lasted 13 years and his current marriage has lasted 10 years so far. He said this one is ''permanent.''
Howard wrapped up the interview after plugging Ed's new show ''Next Big Star'' which airs on the PAX network Sunday nights at 6pm. Ed will also be at Planet Hollywood today from 10am to 4pm in New York City where they'll be holding an open audition for talented people who want to appear on his show.
During the interview ''Evil Dave'' was making a lot of comments that Ed didn't seem to find funny. After taking a break Howard came back and said that Ed really wasn't happy with ''Dave'' but ''Dave'' went over to Ed and got his autograph. Howard wondered what he was going to do with it but ''Dave'' just made more jokes about it.
A woman called in to tell ''Dave'' how much she likes him and how she's glad he came back after the September 11th attacks. I don't think she realized that it wasn't the real ''Dave.'' He made a bunch of crude jokes about her and she just laughed them off.
Another phone caller told Howard she thought Artie Lange was a good looking guy after hearing his voice on the air but then she saw him on the Hugh Hefner Roast. She said he's really ugly. Artie didn't take it very well and sounded kind of upset that she said that. Howard said he doesn't think Artie is all that bad but he is getting quite a bald spot on the back of his head. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Howard threw in a few more groups of women for the ''F***, Marry, Kill'' game for the guys to play. Here are a few of the groups:
Evil Dave had a Top Ten list for us but a few of them were censored because of their content. Here's what we did get to hear for The Top Ten Things Pamela Anderson Says In Bed:
A phone caller got Howard talking about Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Gwyneth Paltrow when he brought up the movie ''Shallow Hal.'' This led to Howard talking about a recent news story where Gwyneth was claiming that a photographer had ''tricked'' her and took a picture of her ugly ass during a photo shoot. Howard then spent a little time talking about his own ass and how he doesn't think it's as bad as it looked on TV a couple of weeks ago at the Concert for New York. He said he was checking it out in the mirror and it didn't look so bad. Artie Lange told him he should check that mirror to see if there's something wrong with it.
A phone caller asked Howard what's going on with his syndicated Saturday night show. Howard claims he doesn't know what's going on with it but he was thinking of putting an original show on instead of what's on now. He said he doesn't like doing a rehash of the E! show. Howard claims that ''they'' want him to do something for Saturday night but he's not sure what that will be.
Howard was telling Robin some of the shows that he records on his TiVo unit and he ended up talking about the upcoming ''Bernie Mac Show.'' He said he got an advance copy of the show and it's really dark humor. He said it's almost depressing because it's so real. He described some of the plot lines and said it was just a weird show.
Howard said he was out on Long Island visiting his kids and the housekeeper had CNN on the TV. He saw the wild police chase of some nut driving a flaming lumber truck and thought it made for great TV. He even invited his 8 year old daughter to watch it with him. She watched a little bit of it but wanted to play ''Barbie Nails'' (Barbie Nail Designer) on the computer instead. Howard said they ended up playing that for about and hour.
A listener called in and got Howard talking about hot newscasters. Howard put together a quick list for the new game ''F***, Marry Kill.'' Here's the list:
KC came in and told his latest bed wetting story. He's had a few accidents in the past few years and he just had another one the other night. He told Howard he was having a strange dream about sleeping in bed with Howard while he was having a party with a bunch of strippers. He said at one point in the dream he had to go to the bathroom but the toilet was overflowing. He said he had a strange urge to put his ''pin'' in the overflowing toilet and that's when he wet himself. He said he just wet his pants and didn't wet the bed all that much. He said that he decided to just sleep in his pee for an extra ten minutes because it wasn't time to get out of bed when he realized what he'd done.
Howard was having a conversation about how much Mike Gange from E! weighs when he brought up the fact that producer Scott Einziger is leaving his E! show. Howard said Scott is moving on to work on ''The Amazing Race'' and he offered to ''consult'' for Howard's show. Howard said that won't happen because if you leave the show you're gone. Howard told the story about how he found out that Scott was going to leave the show to move out to California. Apparently Scott's fiancee's family lives out in California so they're going to move out there instead of staying on the East Coast. Scott called in and talked about why he decided to make the move. Howard said he's good friends with Scott but he doesn't think the show will last and Scott will be out of a job. Scott said he'd be willing to consult for Howard's show because he knows so much about it. Howard said he might work with Scott in the future but not with the E! show. Once he's gone, he's gone. Howard said something about having a big internet project in the works and that he was going to cut Scott in on it but now he won't. Other people on the show say that they're not going to leave it until it ends. That's usually the way it goes. Howard said hardly anyone ever leaves the show... other than Jackie and now Scott.
Howard went on to ask for as many details as he could get from Kid about Pam. Kid said he met Pam at a VH-1 Divas concert and had a nice conversation with her that night. He said he didn't bang her that night but he also doesn't remember all that happened because he was drunk. He said the two of them talked about their kids. They stayed out until 5am or so that night and went their separate ways. About a week later they hooked up again in Las Vegas. Howard said that's where he heard they had screwed in a bathroom. Kid said that wasn't quite true. Pam had broken a heel on her show so they ducked into a construction room so she could try to fix it. There were construction workers in there so they didn't do anything except fix the heel.
Kid says he really is in love with Pam. He said she's not only hot but she's witty and smart... Howard added that she gives good oral from what he can tell from the Pam and Tommy Lee sex tape.
Howard told Kid that he got to make out with Pam a little bit when he took her to Scores one time. Kid said Pam hadn't told him about that. Howard joked that he's probably going to dump her because of that.
Howard tried to find out what it was like the first time Kid had sex with Pam. Kid said it was everything you'd expect and more. He told Howard a few times that he really is in love with her... but so was Tommy Lee. Howard played an excerpt from the Pam and Tommy sex tape where they were talking about how much they love each other. Kid didn't seem to mind. He said he's no saint and stuff like that doesn't bother him.
Howard played Kid's new single ''Forever'' and then brought in this guy Glen who won the chance to smell Kid Rock's fingers. The guy called in yesterday and Howard let him come in today. Glen came in and actually scared Howard because he was so hyper. Howard said he wasn't sure he wanted to let him near Kid but Kid didn't seem to mind so he let it happen. Glen went over, smelled his fingers to see if there were any remnants of Pam on there. He said his fingers smelled like Winston cigarettes. Howard said Kid had actually stuck his hand down his pants before the guy came in so he was actually smelling ass. Glen thanked Howard and Kid and left shortly after sniffing fingers.
Howard played the title cut from ''Cocky'' and started to wrap things up. Robin cut in and asked Kid if it's going to be weird to go on tour without midget Joe C. Kid said it will be weird and he really misses that guy. Howard said he loved Joe C and actually looked forward to seeing him more than Kid Rock when they used to come on the show together.
Visit KidRock.com for more info on him.
David said he saw Howard at a Bon Jovi concert recently and he blew him off. Howard said he didn't know what he was talking about but later admitted that he just didn't recognize him. Howard told him he should wear a name tag when he's out like that.
Howard spent a little time talking to David about his wife and kids. He thought David got divorced from his first wife and then went right out and got married to this new chick. David said he had 3 or 4 years between them though so he was able to get some dating out of his system.
Howard played a little bit of ''F***, Marry, Kill'' with David. He gave David a couple of groups of women to pick from. Howard's choices were a little different than Daves.
David was in town to do an autograph signing at a Hooters restaurant this afternoon. Hooters girls will be there promoting their calendar. He said the money they raise from the Hooters calendar will go to the families of the Fire, Police and EMS workers that were lost in the World Trade Center attacks.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for David including one from a woman who claimed she dated David. It wasn't quite clear if David actually recognized who the woman was or not. He kind of described her but wouldn't admit if he actually recognized her. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that but not before David picked on him for not recognizing him at that Bon Jovi concert.
After taking a break Howard said that Artie was having David sign a bunch of stuff for him. Artie is a huge Yankees fan so he wanted to get some autographs. That's after Howard goofed on ''Evil David Letterman'' for getting Ed McMahon's autograph during a commercial break on yesterday's show.
Howard said Beetlejuice was featured in an article about how dwarves are the big thing to have at parties these days. Howard read some of the excerpts where they quoted Beetlejuice talking about feeling like a celebrity.
Howard's new game, ''F***, Marry, Kill'', has been killed up in Canada. Apparently Q107 in Toronto has been censoring parts of the show because the Canadian Broadcast Coucil won't allow stuff like that on the air. A phone caller told Howard they've also been cutting out ''Evil David Letterman'' and the stuff he says. Howard said the woman who censors the show up there said the government won't allow sex and killing discussions together. She also says that the ''F***, Marry, Kill'' thing advocates killing. Howard said it's just a ''suppose'' game and it doesn't advocate killing at all. Howard played a quick game of ''F***, Marry, Kill'' with Mexico, America and Canada. Guess which one he kills.
Howard started to introduce this professional arm wrestler John Brzenk but the guy wasn't on the phone. Howard ended up goofing on his last name for a short time before Gary came in to let him know that they couldn't find him. Howard said he wonders how a guy can make a living out of something like that. Howard went on to talk about how Mike Gange used a term yesterday that he probably didn't even know the definition of. Howard said the radio industry has certain terms that makes it seem like their jobs are more important than they are. After giving a bunch of those terms Howard said he got a memo from Mike Gange from E! about the Barbi Twins and their satellite feed that they were going to do today. The satellite feed is gone at 9:30 because they have to buy time on it. In the memo Gange says something about there being a ''hard out'' at 9:30 instead of just saying their time is up at 9:30. Howard goofed on Gange about that for a short time. He told Gange he really isn't in television and Scott Einziger would be doing what he's doing in the not too distant future. Howard announced that Scott is leaving his job with E! to go work for the show ''Amazing Race.'' Howard seems to think that the show will fail and Scott won't be able to get a job after that. Scott came in and defended his move but Howard continues to berate him. Scott told Howard that he needs to get some Network TV work under his belt or he'll never be able to sell another show.
Howard kept saying that the show wouldn't air more than 5 weeks. Scott was ready to bet $10,000 that it would run a full season and it would be picked up for a second season. Scott told Howard they already aired 8 episodes and the rest would run after sweeps month. Howard then changed his mind and said that the show will be canceled before the full second season runs. The two of them went at it for a short time. Howard knows that Scott will work with him again because he'll be out of work eventually and he'll need a job.
Howard spent a short time listening to some old Johnny Carson interview tapes where he uses some of his own wacky lingo to describe his way of making jokes. Howard goofed on those for a short time and said you can get the tapes at Laugh.com
A phone caller told Howard getting oral sex from a girl with a tongue ring is great. Howard said he's never had oral from a woman with a piercing so he doesn't understand why they do it.
After 15 minutes or so Howard wrapped up the interview with the girls. He ended up complaining about Stuttering John and the way he plays poker. John had invited Howard over to play cards and Howard doesn't want to play with him because he's so lame. KC made the mistake of coming in during this conversation. Howard complained about him too. KC had misspelled Shauna's name on the sheet of paper he gave to Howard so he got yelled at about that. Howard also mentioned KC wetting his bed the other day and the ''Maxim'' interns' eyes all lit up when they heard that. One of the girls said ''Please tell me you were drinking...'' before that happened. Everyone told the girls he wasn't drinking and he was having another one of his homosexual dreams about Howard. Gary said one of the girls eyes got really sad looking when she heard that. Howard wrapped up the segment after thanking the girls for coming down.
Howard got Mike Walker on the phone so they could play his Gossip Game. Howard quickly got to that so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
The girls shared quite a bit about the relationship and Howard said he'd love to make love to at least one of the girls. The girls also said they will bring home other hot chicks for Ken to enjoy once in a while. That seemed to be just what Howard wanted to hear from them.
He got back to their book and said that he read it and he'd suggest it for young girls. He wrapped up the interview after giving the girls a couple of plugs for their stuff.
Howard spent some time learning about Tera's life and how she got into porno. She told Howard she stated modeling at he age of 13 and got out when she was 18. She went to nursing school and did that for a while before accidentally getting into the porn industry. She said she did Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler before getting into movies.
She told Howard her 36-D cup breasts are real. Howard told her that her face is really beautiful and he seems to find it hard to believe that she's in porn. Tera told Howard she only made one movie last year and one this year. Paul Fishbein from AVN told Howard that Tera is the hottest star in the porn industry right now. He said every few years someone comes around who breaks out and makes it big and right now Tera is the one.
Howard wondered how she makes money if she's not making all that many movies. Tera said she does a lot of appearances and she's got a web site that brings in some money. She'll be making one of her appearances down in Philadelphia today and you can find out more info at TeraPatrick.com.
Howard moved on to this competition that he was holding for the trip to the AVN Awards in Vegas. Two women showed up for the competition. Each one would do a scene with Stuttering John to compete for the prize. The one who did it best would win the trip. The first woman up was Lisa Marie. She told Howard she's been listening to his show since she was 9 years old and she had a crush on Stuttering John at one time. So this was a dream come true for her. Howard had her do this porn scene with John where she tries to seduce him. She read her lines but she wasn't all that great. When the script said she was supposed to disrobe she didn't bother. She said it was too hard to take off what she was wearing so she didn't even try. She just pretended to do it. She dragged it on longer than it was supposed to go and Howard said that she was horrible at it. Tera and Paul said that they shouldn't have started off with so much clothing on to begin with.
The second woman, Sugar, came in and did the same scene with John. She did it much better and got into the part a little more. She didn't take her bra off but she did take her top off. She took her pants off also to show off her g-string panties. Howard said she had a really nice body. After the scene was done it was obvious who won. Since Sugar had a problem taking her top off in front of the 10 people in the studio Paul said she'd have a real problem on the set of a porn movie. That got her to whip off her top. Howard said she had perfect breasts and wondered if they were implants. Sugar said they weren't implants and they were small. They weren't too small for Howard though.
Sugar ended up winning a 4 day, 3 night trip to Las Vegas where she'll get to present the AVN Award for ''Best New Starlet.'' Howard said you can find out more about the AVN Awards at AVN.com. You can go to the AVN Awards yourself and you can book your trip through PornTravel.com.