Howard said he was originally supposed to introduce Governor Pataki but that fell through for some unknown reason so he ended up introducing that film.
Howard said a woman grabbed him very hard as he walked off stage and told him that her husband was lost in the September 11th tragedy and Howard has helped her get through it all. He said it was a ''chilling'' experience for him.
Howard took a few phone calls about the event and one guy said that it looked like you could see a little too far into his cut out pants. The guy thought he could see Howard's ''thing'' when he turned around. Howard went on to explain how he actually ended up going to the event. He said the VH-1 people had been asking him to go all week and he didn't decide until Saturday that he was actually going. He had big plans for a dinner with his family so his schedule was very tight that night. He didn't have time to get the biohazard suit so he called Ralph to help him out. Ralph wasn't up for the job so he called Scott Einziger from E! to help him out. Scott told Howard not to worry about it, he'd take care of everything. Howard said he's not used to hearing that from someone. Howard spent the day with his daughter and then Scott came over to do a test fitting for the suit. Howard had to wear thong underwear under the suit. Howard said it was very gay because Scott was there cutting out the ass cheeks with Howard in the suit.
Howard said that he was embarrassed once again when he was walking back stage in his ass-less suit. He made a whole movie about being embarrassed with his ass cheeks hanging out and now he's doing it again.
Howard said he got to change in David Bowie's dressing room but Bowie was already gone. He said he already had the thong on before he got to the event so he could save a little time. Elton John hung out with him for a little while before he went on. Then he walked out to go on stage and he saw a ''hot chick with a nasty attitude'' which turned out to be Meg Ryan. Howard said that she's ''skanky hot'' but couldn't describe it much better than that. He then ran into Harrison Ford who looked at him and saw the ass cheeks cut out and mumbled ''...oh, Fartman again...'' or something like that. Howard then walked up to go on stage and Scott followed him around to keep his ass covered up. Howard said he had the helmet on and it was really hot and he was burping in the helmet so it was a mess. Howard then went on stage right after the Rolling Stones were done with their song.
Howard said he hung out backstage for a short time and there were a lot of celebrities there. Howard said there was only one person who was rude to him while he was there. He said he was standing there talking to Jon Bon Jovi when Bill Clinton walked in. Clinton said hello to Jon but just avoided even looking at Howard. Clinton then walked right into Paul McCartney's dressing room. Howard was pissed because he's been such a big supporter of Clinton's over the years and that's the thanks he gets. Howard said he heard that Clinton was one of the only people who just stood there and stared as Howard did his thing on stage. Howard went off on Clinton for a few seconds and then moved on to other things.
Howard played a few audio clips from the concert and reviewed some of the other stuff that happened.
Later in the morning after Jesse Camacho came in, Howard gave out another F-Emmy Award for Best Celebrity ID where celebrities leave introductions for the show. The nominees included:
During the interview Howard asked ''P. Diddy'' if Snoop Dogg has a 25 year old daughter. Howard saw some interview where this actress claimed to be Snoop's daughter. Craig Gass finally brought that notion to an end when he said that Snoop's got a new movie coming out so maybe she meant she plays his daughter in the movie or something. Howard was really convinced that Snoop, who claims to be around 27, has a 25 year old daughter.
Jessie told Howard about her short stay on the series. She said she got sick soon after getting to Africa and no one had water for the first 4 days there. Then she was finally able to drink the water and she started to get better but it was too late and she got kicked out of her tribe. The whole reason they couldn't drink water was because they didn't have fire to boil it. Jessie said they tried using the lens from their telescope, just like the other team did, to get the fire started but it just didn't work for them.
Howard told Jessie she was the hottest woman on the show but she thought that a lot of the other women were good looking also. Howard told her she was the hottest and the show won't be as good without a hot chick there.
Howard spoke to Jessie about this week's challenge where they had to drink cow's blood. She said it didn't have much of a taste to it, it was just warm. The blood came fresh out of this cow that this tribe shot with an arrow.
Jessie's job as a cop came up in conversation also. She said she works in a college area so she gets hit on by some of the college guys. She told Howard that she's had to pull a gun on people at times. When Robin heard that she asked Jessie to demonstrate on Howard how she takes a guy down. Howard said he didn't want a hot chick taking him down though.
Howard took some phone calls and a couple of people explained how Puerto Ricans and Cubans don't like each other. Jessie still said she knew nothing about that.
Jessie's sister Raisa was with her today so Howard wanted to meet her. He heard she was as hot as Jessie was so he had to check her out. Raisa came in and Howard spoke to her for a short time and then wrapped up the interview.
Howard said Violent J has gained a lot of weight since the last time they were on. He also lost his voice and could barely speak to Howard. Once he got rolling though his voice seemed to get back to normal. J told Howard he's still getting chicks so he has no reason to want to lose weight.
The guys also told Howard that they're still holding Sharon Osbourne up to the bet she made with them when she appeared with them on the show about a year ago. At that time she said their new album wouldn't sell more than 50,000 copies and she put up $50,000 as a bet. The guys said that album sold 250,000 copies so she was wrong and she owes them the $50,000. Violent J said that they want her to donate that money to the Red Cross in their name.
Sharon also said that the guys would be dropped by their record label and that kind of came true also. The guys say that they weren't dropped by the label though. They explained that their record label ''forgot'' to renew their contract and two other record companies offered to sign them. Violent J said that the other record companies knew before they did that Island/Def Jam had forgotten to sign them again. So the guys are going to another record label but they also claim that Island/Def Jam made them a counter offer and tried to get them back again but they're not going back. Howard told the guys they'd have an argument on their hands if Sharon insists that they were dropped. They don't seem to care, they just want that $50,000 donated to the Red Cross.
Violent J spent a little time telling Howard about his mother and all of the nasty boyfriends she had when he was growing up. He also talked about his father who abandoned him when he was only 2 years old. Violent J said he's not upset that his father wasn't around for him growing up, he's pissed at some of the things the guy did to his mother. He said he once told his uncle that he'll have to beat his father's ass if he ever sees him again. During the discussion Craig Gass as ''Gene Simmons'' interrupted and told J that he's really his father.
Violent J told Howard about why they had some controversy over their web site after the September 11th tragedy. They had a quote on there having something to do with their ''sixth joker card'' coming up and it meaning it's ''the end'' or something like that. He said people ended up hassling them over the quote for some dumb reason. J just wondered what the hell people were doing looking at their site after a tragedy like that anyway.
Howard told the guys he was going to take some phone calls and Violent J yells out ''NO!'' because he knows it never goes well. There were the usual collection of people who hate the guys and their band who bad mouthed them. Howard also played a short clip of their new song ''Every Halloween'' and plugged some of their tour dates and stuff like that before wrapping up the interview.
After the guys were gone Howard spent a little more time playing clips from The Concert for New York that he appeared on Saturday night.
Howard reminded us of the conversation they had with Gary where he revealed he pleasures himself while he sits on the toilet. Howard said Gary does a lot of weird stuff in the bathroom. Howard went on to talk about his own masturbation stories and got Robin involved in the conversation. The subject changed when Howard caught a glimpse of Stuttering John and his awful facial hair. Howard thought it was kind of disturbing looking. He asked John to shave it all off.
Gary wanted to know if Howard feels strange masturbating at the age of 47. Howard said he just feels weird that second after he finishes. While he's doing it he feels fine. Howard thinks that he might still be doing it at the age of 90.
After taking a break Howard came back and played a song parody to the tune of ''Strangers in the Night'' called ''Strangers on My Flight.'' That led to Richard Jeni doing a quick bit about ways to tell if your flight may be hijacked. He told a few jokes in his Johnny Carson voice like...
Howard spent a short time talking about this episode of ''The Weakest Link'' that was on last night where they featured celebrity news makers or something like that. They had people like Tonya Harding, Gennifer Flowers, Darva Conger, Kato Kaelin, Todd Bridges, Leif Garrett and Kya from ''Temptation Island.'' Howard said it was a great show because of the people they had on. He said he usually doesn't like game shows where they put on celebrities but that one was actually worth watching. Jessica Hahn called in and said she was invited to go on that episode but she turned it down. Howard told her it was probably best that she didn't do it but he was ''glued to the TV'' as he watched it.
Robin was on ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' last night and Howard played a clip of her talking about what she does to relax. She mentioned learning to play piano, her horses and swimming even though she can't swim. This led to Howard discussing all of that stuff with her. Robin hasn't seen her horse Blaze in about 6 months because she's ''been ill'' and she can't go riding for some reason. Robin also can't swim and she refuses to take swimming lessons. Stuttering John just laughed through the whole discussion. Robin said something about her horse Blaze being her baby and John laughed hysterically because she hasn't seen the thing in 6 months. Robin also said she's relearning the French language. She's doing that and learning to play piano. She told Howard she has a piano and a little Casio keyboard to practice on.
After that discussion Howard played some clips of OJ Simpson on Court TV during a recent interview. Howard and the rest of the crew goofed on everything OJ was saying. Howard said it was the greatest tape he's heard. Robin called it the bizzarro world because the guy is completely wacky.
Joey only had a short time he could stay so Howard quickly went through the interview. He asked him about getting laid and what it must be like to be so famous. Joey said he has a girlfriend who he's been with for 9 years now and they have a 6 month old baby together so he's not out getting laid. Howard also asked Joey about his band mate Justin who is dating Britney Spears. Howard asked Joey if he knows for a fact that Britney is actually still a virgin. Joey said he really doesn't discuss that with Justin. He said they don't discuss their sexual accomplishments with each other. He tried to avoid answering those type of questions when Howard asked them.
Howard told Joey he gets the idea that Britney and Justin are doing everything but having sex so she must be giving him oral. Once again Joey said he doesn't know. Howard asked him if he's ever smelled Justin's fingers but Joey just laughed and said ''no.''
Howard had a few notes on Joey that claimed he dated a few famous people like Minnie Driver, Rachel Hunter and Chyna from the WWF but Joey said that he was just friendly to them and he never dated any of them.
Howard brought up the MTV Video Music Awards and how 'N Sync did a performance with Michael Jackson. Howard asked Joey how freaky that guy is. Joey said he's really a nice guy but Howard cut him off and said that he's also met him and he knows that he's freaky. Howard had a meeting with him and it looked like his nose was melting off his face. Joey said that he feels sorry for the guy because he's had so much surgery on his face that it's ruined his nose. Robin told him not to feel sorry for the guy because he did it to himself.
Howard started to get into how the band got started but he was getting the signal that Joey had to get going so he had to wrap up the interview. He took one quick phone call and plugged the movie and the upcoming video ''The Real 'N Sync'' which is backstage stuff with the band. That tape comes out in December.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Suzanne and one guy asked about her early days starting out as a musician. That led to Suzanne saying that Howard actually helped jump start her career. She said that he had somehow gotten her demo tape and liked what he heard so he played it on the radio. That later led to her getting a record deal and the song ended up on her first album.
Howard said that albums like Suzanne's make for good seduction CDs when he's trying to get laid. He told Robin that he was going to bring in his top ten seduction CDs to play on the show.
Howard took a couple more phone calls and plugged the stuff Suzanne had to plug and then ended the interview. You can find out where Suzanne will be performing at her web site Vega.net. As Howard was wrapping up the interview he asked Suzanne if she's ever screwed around with ''other broads'' in her life. She said she would take the fifth on that. She didn't want to get into that discussion so Howard dropped it.
Howard said one of his favorite shows to watch is ''Blind Date.'' He watched an episode recently and there was a radio DJ who dated a woman on the show who was a real ''tool'' according to Howard. He said the guy was really gross looking and he was just an annoying radio guy who had to put his date on his radio show. He spent a short time goofing on the guy but also said that the show is pretty good.
Howard killed some time playing various tapes he had lying around. He quickly ran through them and spent a short time talking about each one. He had tape of Drew Barrymore crying about the New York City tragedy. He then played tape of Penn and Teller answering a question about Howard on ''Hollywood Squares'' while Teller popped a pea out of his eye. Robin answered a question for a TV show about the five ''sexiest men'' by saying Howard's name 5 times. The Wayans brothers answered the same question by giving Beetlejuice and Howard as two of their picks.
Howard had more tape of OJ Simpson talking about his latest trial on the Black Entertainment network. Howard played some of them the other day and continued with even more of them today. He was giving parenting advice and talking about being a good dad on the program. Howard goofed on those tapes for a short time. He went on to take a bunch of quick phone calls to kill some more time.
Comedian Richard Jeni showed up an hour late this morning to sit in the funny chair. Richard told Howard he tried to stay up all night but ended up falling asleep around 4am and he ended up coming in a little late.
Howard went on to interview Bob mostly about his divorce and his new TV show ''Raising Dad'' which airs on the WB Friday nights at 9:30pm. Howard and Bob shared stories about their failed marriages and new relationships. Bob has had a girlfriend or two over the past couple of years since his divorce. Howard told Bob that he'll never live with another person but he is in love with his current girlfriend Beth.
Later in the interview a caller complained that Howard never talked about the celebrities who he dated before his current girlfriend. Howard finally confirmed that he went on a few dates with Robin Givens and Angie Everhart. Gary came in a short time later and had a list of 50 questions that a listener sent in for Howard to answer. They all had to do with Howard's divorce and what it's like when he visits his ex-wife now. Howard answered all of the questions that Gary asked and it sounds like Howard is still friendly enough with Alison that they still talk. Howard said they're not as close as they used to be. The questions got more and more personal about Howard and Beth's relationship but Howard answered them the best he could. Questions were about everything like whether or not he goes to her apartment to hang out to whether or not she has one of Howard's credit cards to use. It hasn't gotten that far according to Howard. He said it won't get that far either. One of the questions was about why Howard claimed that he never went anywhere with his wife but now he goes out everywhere with his girlfriend. Howard said he really hasn't changed in that way. He said that he did go out with his wife, just not enough. He said now he still stays home during the week and only goes out on the weekends. The caller who started this whole conversation stayed on the phone and seemed to be happy that Howard was finally talking about all of this stuff. Howard found it odd that the interview was focused on him even though Bob Saget was sitting there. Bob did get to say a few things during this grilling. He shared similar stories about the changes that take place after a divorce. After all of that Howard had to wrap up the interview so he could move on to other things. He plugged Bob's new TV show and pointed out that he's competing with his old co-star John Stamos who has his own TV show on Friday nights.
This led to discussions about all of the guys' relationships. Howard said that Stuttering John definitely wears the pants in his family but Gary's wife wears the pants in his. Scott is going to go the way of Gary according to Howard. Howard said even he didn't wear the pants in his family when he was still with his wife. John is somehow able to make demands on his wife that none of the other guys can seem to do.
Howard's ass was the next subject of discussion. Scott Einziger was the one who ended up cutting out the ass cheeks for the costume he wore on The Concert for New York that aired on VH-1 last Saturday. Howard thought his ass was getting better since his Fartman appearance back in 1992 but some people say it looked awful on Saturday. Scott said he was up close with Howard's ass when he cut out the cheeks and it didn't look all that bad. He said there were some zits and some hair there but it wasn't that bad.
Gilbert Gottfried showed up around 8:40 and got in on the conversation. Stuttering John said that he and Gilbert shared a woman one time. John said she was one of the hottest women he'd ever slept with and Gilbert somehow got her. John said he got her after Gilbert did so she told John about her experience. She said that Gilbert was actually pretty good in bed. Gilbert sounded thrilled to hear that bit of info. He wanted John to stay on that subject and not talk about anything else. John said the woman told him that they broke up because things ''got weird'' with him. Gilbert laughed hysterically when he heard that. John said this woman had really great breasts and the last time Gilbert was in the two of them reminisced about how great they were. Gilbert ended up hanging around for the rest of the show. He's appearing at Caroline's Comedy Club in New York City on Thursday.
Howard moved on to talk to the other guys in the band. He spoke to Mike Einziger who they spoke about a little earlier in the show. He's Scott Einziger's cousin... Howard then spoke to Chris who plays the turntables. He also quickly spoke to Jose and Dirk.
The guys said that they have a check for the charity that Howard was collecting for. They said that they're donating $51,000 to the same charity and the check would be there in about an hour.
The band wanted Howard to sing along with ''Immigrant Song'' so Howard finally agreed to do it. He sang the crowing part where they go ''Ahhhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Ahhhhh'' and pretty much ruined the song. The band said Howard did kind of mess up their timing with his crowing. They then performed their new single ''Wish You Were Here'' which is on their new album ''Morning View'' which just came out yesterday. That was a great performance that made up for the ruined Led Zeppelin song.
Howard thanked them for the big donation that they're making and then took some phone calls. Howard saw the band perform at a concert one time and said that they were great. The phone callers were saying the same thing.
After taking a bunch of calls Howard said the band will be appearing at Tower Records in New York City this evening at 5pm. You can find out more info at EnjoyIncubus.com. Howard also said that while he watched the band he thought about how he wasted his youth doing drugs and reading comic books when he should have been learning to play an instrument like these guys did. Gilbert Gottfried had a similar wasted youth. He sat around and watched old horror movies so now his talent is doing ''Dracula Gottfried.'' After talking about that Howard wrapped up the segment and took a break.
After the break someone called in and told Howard that the beginning of the ''Immigrant Song'' was screwed up. Howard said it was Scott the Engineer again. He said Scott forgot to hit a button when the band was starting to play so he hit it after they started. Howard said that he doesn't even argue with Scott anymore because it's pointless.
Howard spent a little bit of time talking about Oprah Winfrey and how an author recently decided that he didn't want Oprah's book club to pick his stuff for their book of the month. He said that Oprah's seal of approval sticker is a corporate logo that he doesn't want on his book. Howard said he thinks that's great and he wants to get that guy on the show to talk to him about it.
Howard also talked about Oprah having this guy Dr. Phil on her show to yell at people about their relationships. Howard and the crew spent a few minutes goofing on that guy and Oprah. Richard Jeni said that Oprah is supposed to be doing a show about self-help but she's 200 pounds overweight. He said there's no way he'd take advice from someone like that.
Sal the Stockbroker called in at one point and told Howard he blew his chance at the Concert for New York on Saturday night. Sal seems to think that Howard could have bashed Osama bin Laden instead of bashing the celebrities that fled New York. Howard ended up hanging up on Sal after he defended his monologue saying that he just said what was on his mind.
Howard spent a short time talking about how the Chandra Levy story has vanished from the news lately. He also complained about everyone saying if so-and-so happens then ''the terrorists have won.'' He said that people tell him that being afraid now means the terrorists have won. He said we have every right to be afraid with everything going on with anthrax.
Howard got back to some fun when he played tape of actress Shannon Elizabeth talking about how she has gas masks for her dogs(!) in case of some kind of biological attack. Howard goofed on her for a short time before taking a break.
Howard said there was some very important news he wanted to discuss this morning. He said he knows some people won't agree that it's important to them but it is important to him... Pamela Anderson is pregnant with Kid Rock's baby. Fiancee Kid Rock to be exact. The article Howard was reading said that they're expecting the baby in May of 2002. Pam's already got 2 kids of her own and Kid Rock has one of his own. Robin seems to think Kid Rock will be out of that relationship real quick.
Howard brought up last Saturday's Concert for New York that he appeared on. He was talking about the A-list celebrities he was there with and how he wasn't sure why he was there. He said sometimes he thinks that he's more popular than most of the celebrities that are there but then he gets snubbed by Bill Clinton and he realizes that maybe he's not. Howard said that all of these celebrities were there and then he ran into Jaid Barrymore and wondered how she gets to go to these events. He wanted to get Jaid on the phone to ask her how she does it but that didn't happen.
Howard brought up this story about a scaffolding collapse in New York City yesterday. Howard said he's always been afraid to walk under that stuff. He seems to think that the people who put those things up just aren't into their jobs and that's why stuff like that happens. He said he thinks that a lot of people aren't into their jobs these days that's why we may lose the battle against these anthrax attacks.
Howard had some trouble sleeping last night so he watched some TV programs in the middle of the night. He said he saw the second episode of ''Smallville'' and it was another great episode. Robin said if they keep up those type of shows it'll be ''must watch TV.'' Howard said he's been recording ''Blind Date'' every day now because it's so great.
Howard has been hearing about the new Windows XP that was just released and he wanted to know what the big deal was. He read an article about the big release and wanted to know what the operating system does and doesn't do. The article mentioned some of the problems people are already having with XP. The article didn't say what the OS does and Howard is still wondering about it.
Comedian Dave Chappelle called in to talk to Howard for a few minutes. Dave was calling from his home in Ohio so Howard asked him a bunch of questions about living out there. Dave said he moved out there because he could buy a huge amount of property for much less than he could in a populated area. He owns a 65 acre farm out there. He and Howard spent a few minutes talking about farming before Howard plugged Dave's upcoming appearance at The House of Blues in Las Vegas this Saturday.
Howard took a call from a guy who could explain Windows XP a little bit. He gave Howard some of the details and Howard tried to interpret what the guy told him for his general audience. The interpretation wasn't that great but it might have helped... well, no one.
Dixie said she does 6 to 8 guys a day while she's working there at the ranch. She claims she gets about $1000 per session. John the Stutterer said that there are actually a bunch of hot looking whores out there.
Gary came in and said that some of Dixie's co-workers were in the green room just about having sex with a dwarf that was out there. Beetlejuice's dwarf friend was getting some hand action from one of the girls so Howard had the girls come in to talk to them about it. The girls said that was just ''foreplay'' for him and she didn't give him anything other than that.
John the Stutterer told Howard he thought about not doing Dixie when he got there because she wouldn't let him give her unprotected oral sex. Howard tried to explain to him that you don't do that with a whore and the whole idea is to just get yourself off, not the whore. John said that's fun for him though and he wanted to do it.
Howard spoke to the other girls a little bit about what kind of money they make. They said they get $1000 or more for intercourse. Robin said she thought it was a cheap place but she was obviously wrong. John the Stutterer then got back to his story and said he got some oral from Dixie before straight sex. Then they were going to have regular sex but John was unable to get it going with the condom on. John said they abandoned the condom and John got some hand work done on him instead. It only took him 2 minutes to finish up after that. John claims his psychiatric medications had something to do with him not getting it up. John told Howard that he was able to use his hand on her while she did him but he had to wear a rubber glove when he did it. He said he would have preferred to use his bare hand but that wasn't allowed for health reasons.
Howard wrapped up the segment after he gave out some plugs for the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. You can either call them at 888-BunnyRanch or visit BordelloConfidential.com for more info. Dixie Cupps also has a web site at DixieCupps.com
Howard played tape of Rob Lowe talking about how people have come up to him on the street thanking him for what he's done on the TV show ''The West Wing.'' Howard said he doesn't believe that and he's sick of these people from ''The West Wing'' thinking that they're actually doing something important when all they're doing is acting like they're doing something.
Howard goofed on a bunch of song parodies that they've gotten on the show lately. All of the songs are about the September 11th tragedy and Osama bin Laden. They're also all bad. Howard would get about 5 seconds into a song and that was about all he could stand. Jim Florentine suggested that these people should send their money to a charity instead of wasting it on producing a song.
Howard complained about the news scroll they've been running at the beginning of his E! show lately. He was complaining about all of the crap CNN has scrolling on their screen and how annoying it is. That's what led to his complaining about his own show. Jim Florentine said he watched the E! show last night and they just run that scroll for the first minute of the show. Howard wants it stopped.
After goofing on the guy for 10 minutes he finally hung up on Howard. He said something about not giving the sweat off his balls to someone who doesn't listen and hung up. Howard said he's very skeptical of guys like this but he gave him a plug for his web site anyway. You can check out Prince Leopold at PrinceLeopold.com. Yes, he does claim that he's a prince. The Prince of Belgium to be exact.
Howard thought it would make for a funny bit so he took a break and let them set Beet up with the ear piece again. Howard said that a bunch of people would tune in late and not know what was going on anyway.
After the break Howard tried it again. This time it worked a little better. Howard would give him a state, Sean would feed Beetlejuice the correct answer and Beet would say what he thought he heard. It wasn't always exactly the right answer but it was close. Robin told Howard it wasn't working but Howard thought otherwise. He thought it was funny enough to continue it for a while.
Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and pretended he didn't know it was a goof. He gave Beet some states and got some half-correct answers from Beet. Dominic ended up cracking himself up and said something about the ear piece as Howard hung up on him. A couple of other callers seemed to believe that it was a real thing so Howard played along with them for a little while too. Sometimes Beetle would get the answer right on and other times, like with Sacramento, he'd give a bizarre answer. For Sacramento he said something like ''ahtos.'' For Juno, Alaska he said ''Junos'' and for Albany, New York he said ''Albanies.'' Close enough for an idiot savant.
Howard started to do another Beetlejuice bit but gave up on it pretty quick. KC had done a ''Homeless Game'' type thing with Beetle but after the second question Howard gave up on it saying that it was just dumb.
Howard then brought in the other dwarf that was there with Beet. Big Papa is Beetlejuice's body guard. He's also the dwarf that was messing around with the whore out in the green room earlier in the show. Howard questioned him for a couple of minutes about how he met Beet. Howard said Big Papa looks kind of like Billy Bob Thornton. KC said he looks more like Aaron Lewis from the band Staind. Howard spoke to Beet about the anthrax stuff that's going on. Beet was clueless of course but it made for some amusing radio. Visit JollyDwarf.com for more info on Beetlejuice.
After taking a break Howard came back and said that Beetle had to get going because he had a flight to catch. Meanwhile, John the Stutterer came back in and Howard learned that he gave oral sex to one of the whores out in the green room. The E! guys played tape of it so Howard could watch it. Howard said John did it without any protection and questioned him how he could do something like that to a prostitute. John doesn't have a problem with it and said he really enjoys it.
When General Manager Tom Chiusano heard about what happened he came down to kick John out of the building. Tom said that he crossed the line and should be kicked out of the building. Howard agreed that he may have crossed the line but didn't think that he should be kicked out. Howard convinced Tom that John didn't know that he was doing wrong and he was allowed to stay. Tom then went out and yelled at Gary and Mike Gange because they didn't stop it soon enough. Gange filmed the scene and Tom thought he should have stopped it instead. Tom apparently told Gange that he works in a business-like environment and he shouldn't let anything like that go on. Howard goofed on Tom a little bit for the way he talks to people and Tom didn't appreciate that either. It was a very odd situation but John did get to hang around after the controversy.
Somehow the subject of Benjy and sex came up. Howard asked him how long it had been since he got laid. Benjy said it had been a few years but then reduced that to a year and a half since intercourse. Artie Lange was goofing around making jokes and yelling when Howard said that he was out sick yesterday with a 104 degree fever. Howard and Artie then talked about how Artie thought he had anthrax so he went to a doctor who told him there was no test for anthrax. Artie said it was the Physician's Assistant who gave him the information, not the doctor. Artie said that the doctor eventually came in and told him he just had a touch of the flu and gave him a prescription. This led to Howard talking about how doctors are like celebrities the way they just make a brief appearance toward the end of your visit. Then Stuttering John told a story about going in to a doctor to have his genital warts removed. He ended up saying that he's not sure which girl he got the warts from but it could have been any one of three or so that he'd slept with around the time he got them.
Howard came back from a break and talked about how annoying Stuttering John is sometimes. Howard said after the show he goes back to his office and meditates for a little while and then falls asleep sometimes. He said Stuttering John will walk by his office and start talking really loud to other people around the station. Yesterday he was yelling ''Hey Rabbi!'' to this guy that wears a yarmulke. John said he didn't know Howard was sleeping but Howard has complained about this in the past so he should know better.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about last night's ''Survivor Africa'' episode. Howard and the rest of the crew discussed how the one tribe has split into older people and younger people. They discussed what happened in the show last night and how good the show still is. Howard said he's finding it hard to get motivated to watch it but once he's into it he enjoys it.
Howard spent some time talking about how they've tested the air quality down at Ground Zero in New York City and it's toxic. Howard said shortly after the tragedy he could smell the stuff burning in the city and wanted to leave because it didn't smell right to him. It turns out he was right and there are a lot of toxic fumes floating around the city now.
After that Melrose Larry Green played the tape he called in with. In the interview Drew talks about the recent stories about her wanting to run out of New York after the first anthrax scare at NBC. She was hosting Saturday Night Live that week and Howard said he heard she wanted to run home but SNL made her stick around because they would have been left hanging without a host if she left. Howard let the tape play and then came back and said that she was lying about some of the stuff. She had said that she didn't run home, she waited until it was time to go home after the SNL gig. Howard said that wasn't true and she canceled a bunch of other New York appearances she was supposed to make. She was supposed to be on David Letterman's show and she canceled that. Her movie premiere was canceled and Howard said that was all at the same time all of this happened. Jaid defended Drew saying that she was very brave for sticking around to do SNL and the other cancellations were not necessarily her idea. Howard told Jaid that he doesn't think Drew is a bad person. He was just pointing out how celebrities were leaving the city and he used her and a couple of other celebrities as examples. Jaid continued to say nice things about her daughter for a couple of minutes before Howard moved on to do other things. Howard said the Concert for New York is going to rerun on CBS on October 31st so you can check out Howard's naked ass and the comments he made about Drew.
Debbie Schlussel from WorldNetDaily.com calls in once in a while to comment on everything that's been going on lately with the terrorists. Today she called in and told Howard some more stuff. As Howard was wrapping up the call he asked her what she was wearing. She told him she'd just woken up so she was wearing a T-shirt. Howard then tried to do a little sex talk with her but she wouldn't calm down. She's very revved up when she calls in and Howard wanted to see if he could get her to calm down and talk dirty along with him. He tried his best but she wouldn't calm down. She was constantly ready to converse way too much. Howard eventually gave up on his mission and let her blurt out some more stuff about the terrorists and the ''Jihad in America'' video she's always talking about when she calls in.
Howard, Robin and Artie Lange started goofing on Mary's boyfriend a bit and she almost walked out of the studio at one point. She was just joking around but she really did seem to be getting fed up with the constant goofing. Howard saw that she was getting upset so he moved on to Mike Walker.
Mike Walker from the National Enquirer called in and spent a couple of minutes talking about how great Mary is as an actor. After that Howard got to the game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard took a bunch of phone calls for Mary and spent some more time with her. He said he was afraid to ask her anything else today because she was so sensitive about her boyfriend. She said she really wasn't though.
Scott Weiland was telling Howard how a lot of their fans don't know that they have this new album Shangri-La Dee Da out right now. He said for some reason there must have been a breakdown at the record company and they didn't do enough publicity for the album. He said that fans of theirs will come up to them while they're out shopping or something and ask when the new album is coming out. It's been out for a few months now and they still don't know. Danny Bush from Atlantic Records came in and defended the company and the band at the same time. He didn't admit that they didn't publicize the album enough, he just said they have to play catch-up right now to get the word out. Stone Temple Pilots is headlining this year's Family Values Tour so that's a start.
After that discussion Howard started to wrap things up but he got sidetracked when he asked one of the guys if his wife brings other women home for him. He said he couldn't say but ended up talking about how she does it. Howard discussed that for a few minutes and then ended the interview.