Howard said he's been having nightmares about the terrorist threat that still linger in his mind. He spent some time talking about how every TV show over the weekend was explaining the religion of Islam to him. Howard said he really doesn't need to hear that explained to him. He and Robin went on to discuss the Taliban and how we should just nuke them off the face of the planet. The whole crew ended up discussing the Taliban and Osama bin Laden for quite a while. While they were discussing all of this Gary mentioned that he was telling his 7 year old son certain things about bin Laden. Big mistake. Howard ended up goofing on Gary for explaining stuff to the kid that he should just try to avoid at this time. Gary told Howard not to tell him how to raise his kid but that didn't stop everyone from goofing on him.
Howard gave us an update on his disaster relief fund. He said that they've raised around $2.5 million since they started the fund drive. The money will go to help the families of the victims of the city employees lost in the World Trade Center disaster as well as the Pentagon disaster. For more info on how to donate just visit HowardStern.com
Ronnie the Limo driver came in and shared a story about hanging out with some Scores strippers and some of the fire fighters who have lost all of their equipment and building in the terrorist attacks. Ronnie said none of the strippers were getting naked for the guys but they were dressed in some skimpy clothing.
Howard spent his Saturday night out at the Hugh Hefner Friars club roast with Vinnie Favale from CBS. Howard said Vinnie invited him there so he decided to give it a try. Howard said Vinnie got him there two and a half hours early so he had a couple of Vodka and Cranberry drinks to pass the time. Howard said that Artie was one of the guys roasting Hefner and he was one of the highlights of the show according to Howard. Howard said Jackie the Joke Man was also there but he didn't talk to him. Howard said there were a lot of funny guys there including Gilbert Gottfried, Dick Gregory, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, Artie Lange, Tommy Davidson, Rob Schneider and many others. Howard said that model Kylie Bax was also there barely dressed. He said she's obviously trying to get in the paper with the clothes she wears all the time and Saturday was no different., He said she was wearing a body stocking that you could see through and you could see everything. Howard said he loves to see women half naked but he wants them to leave something to his imagination. Kylie was just about naked and even Howard said it was too revealing for him.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about Jennifer Lopez's marriage that happened over the weekend. Howard and Robin both agreed that it probably won't last. Howard brought up how this DJ Booker on his radio station in New York is dating Jennifer Lopez's sister Linda so he got to go to J-Lo's wedding. They couldn't get in touch with him first thing this morning though. Howard was saying that even though people are hardly flying these days Booker probably hopped right on a plane to fly out to California to go to that wedding.
Stuttering John flew this weekend so he came in and told his weird story. He said he was in first class and there were 5 Arab guys there with him. He got so paranoid that when one of the guys went to the bathroom, he went up and stood in front of the cockpit door just in case the Arab guy decided to rush the cockpit. John was ready to defend the plane himself. Howard said that the whole country is going nuts with this stuff.
Scott Einziger from E! also said he had to fly out to California recently. He came in and told Howard how the airline employees were cheering every person who decided to fly their airline that day. He said it was very weird.
Howard talked about a movie he rented over the weekend that was really good. The movie was ''Along Came a Spider'' and he said it's worth renting. Stuttering John said he finally saw ''The Fast and the Furious'' and that was really good too. Howard changed subjects and got back to Scott Einziger who just recently announced that he's getting married. Howard said Scott and his fiancee are pretending that they don't know when they're getting married but he thinks that Maya has the whole thing planned out already and they're just keeping it a secret right now. Everyone then started goofing on Scott about what it's going to be like when Maya gets pregnant and everything starts to change. Stuttering John was the worst when he told Scott about all of the changes that will happen with her when she starts gaining weight and then decides that she doesn't want to lose the weight. Scott just stood there and took it. There wasn't much he could do.
Howard mentioned baseball player Barry Bonds and how nutty people area to get his home run balls. He mentioned how people were jumping in some body of water to get one of his balls and how crazy that is. He said that they should put piranha in that water.
Howard had tape of this singer Genuwine singing God Bless America at the Bernard Hopkins, Tito Trinidad fight. Genuwine screwed up the song pretty bad so Howard and the crew goofed on that for a few minutes.
Howard also talked about how GoldenPalace.com had a fake tattoo on Hopkins' back as advertising so you could see it through just about all of the fight. Crazy Cabbie called in and talked to Howard about the fight for a couple of minutes also.
Howard said he's read articles about how the World Trade Center disaster has been reuniting people who didn't get along before then. Howard said he started thinking about who they could reunite with. He thought about Kathie Lee Gifford, Charles Grodin and a few others but he realized that he has no desire to reunite with any of those people. He said there's no tragedy that would get him to reunite with any of those people. Gary came in and mentioned Imus, Richard Simmons and Jackie as a few other examples. Howard said he's not fighting with Jackie. He said if he'd run into Jackie the other night at the Friars Club Roast, he would have spoken to him. Howard said there's no way he'd reunite with Imus because he's too much of a dick. Richard Simmons was another story. Howard said he's not mad at Richard, Richard is mad at him. Howard then went into a whole discussion about why Richard is mad at them for goofing on him. Howard said Richard should be making up with them, not the other way around. The whole crew discussed Richard and his ridiculous diets.
Howard quickly played tape of Will Ferrell talking about how he won't be doing his George W. Bush impression on Saturday Night Live anytime soon. He said that he doesn't think there's anything funny going on politically right now so he'll drop the impression for a while. Howard agrees that it's not the right time to be making fun of the President.
Howard played the new theme song for the new Star Trek series ''Enterprise'' and goofed on how gay it sounds. Robin couldn't believe that the song actually had words because no other Star Trek series has had a theme song like that. Howard played the original theme song and made up his own words to it as it played. Vinnie Favale called in later and said that there actually were lyrics to the original series theme song and he'll send them in so Howard can sing along to it sometime.
He eventually lost his wife when she found out what was going on. Then the stripper moved to Los Angeles and Nick ended up losing his business, his homes, his family and eventually the stripper. He said that relationship got just as routine as his marriage had gotten so they broke up. Nick said that he's not only against getting married again but he's against getting into another relationship at all.
Howard said the moral of the story was ''Don't buy a stripper a car.'' Nick said that his whole life was turned upside down because of his obsession with a hot chick. Check out the chick for yourself at Nick's web site Mancini.cc
Howard pointed out that the NY Post bad mouthed him once again this morning. Howard said the article wasn't that bad, it was just the headline that was kind of lame. It said something like ''Scared Stern Raises $2.5 Million...'' And of course they put the worst picture of Howard in the article like they've been doing for years now.
Howard said that his girlfriend Beth really hates Richard because he's written stuff about Howard dumping her for other women. Richard said he doesn't write all of the stuff on Page Six, he has help.
Howard read a blind item in Page Six about a ''very married'' local news reporter who apparently started an affair with one of her new bosses during the September 11th aftermath. Howard wanted to know who that reporter was but Richard can't tell him that. There was also another blind item about a ''pop diva'' who allegedly has a doctor who injects her with heroin and cortisone before she goes on stage. Howard and Robin both want to know it is but Richard says he can't prove the claims so he can't say.
Howard said he got a call from his dad the other day and he said he was listening to Rush Limbaugh and his voice sounds very odd. Howard heard rumors that Rush might have had some kind of stroke or something. Richard Johnson said he heard a rumor that Rush was actually doing his broadcast from his home down in Florida and he's actually on a high quality phone line. No confirmation on any of those but Richard said he'd look into it.
Howard killed some time playing various tapes that he had sitting around. He had tape of former President Bush talking about how his son, the current President, still gets yelled at by his mommy when he comes home to visit. Howard also had tape of John Travolta talking about going down to Ground Zero in New York City to visit. He also played a clip of Travolta talking about how he thinks he can heal people and make them feel better. Howard and the crew spent a couple of minutes discussing how kooky Travolta is.
Bernard told Howard how he took the money that GoldenPalace.com paid him for his sponsorship and bet it all on himself. He had 2.5-1 odds on himself so he ended up doubling the money he bet on himself. The advertising that GoldenPalace.com took out on Bernard was a big fake tattoo on his back. That advertising space is still available and you can find out how to become a sponsor by visiting his web site BernardTheExecutioner.com. Rates start at $500,000!
Jon wasn't making much sense during his little speech either so Howard replayed the tape and made fun of Jon a little more while he had him on the phone. Jon didn't want Howard to replay the tape but Howard went ahead and did it. Howard wanted Jon to explain some parts of the speech to him because he just didn't understand what the heck he was talking about. Jon told Howard that's what happens when you go off the teleprompter and try talking about stuff without a script.
Howard said he understands Jon getting upset because everyone is upset but he didn't understand parts of the speech. Gary came in and told Howard that Jon's speech went on for about 9 minutes and at one point he talks about Martin Luther King's assassination and how Jon had to sit under his school desk and eat cottage cheese. Jon explained that he was talking about that to let people know that their kids would eventually get over this tragedy.
Howard made fun of Jon for a short time and let a couple of phone callers goof on him too. Howard eventually told Jon he knows his heart was in the right place, he just wasn't making any sense during his speech and that's what they were making fun of. Jon told Howard that he was doing a good thing with his Howard Stern Relief Fund too. Gary said that they've raised more than $2.5 million with that fund drive. Howard ended the segment saying that Jon is a good guy but then he made fun of how Jon seems to think that he's competing against Leno and Letterman even though he's on basic cable and no one is watching that show of his. That's a shame because it is a very funny show.
Howard found out about a web site where they feature pictures of ''camel toe'' which is where you can see the outline of a woman's private parts in tight clothing. Earlier in the show he said it was a dot com but it turned out to be a dot ORG... CamelToe.org to be exact. He said they not only feature women celebrities and regular women but also men. Howard doesn't understand how a guy can have camel toe but they do have pictures there. He said he won't look at them himself but Robin wanted to see the Laurence Fishburne camel toe.
Howard spent a few minutes goofing on Mister Rogers and how god damn nice he is all the time. As he was wrapping up that rant he moved on to talk to Mark Harris.
Howard played some of the songs from Mark's awful CD ''Defending America'' and made fun of the way Mark sings. Mark thinks that his show-tunes are helping to unite America but Howard and Robin think that it's making things worse. Howard thinks that people should be listening to songs from groups like Slayer, Slip Knot and Type O Negative. He played a few clips from those bands to let Mark in on what anger sounds like. Mark said that they're just throw-backs to the '60's. He doesn't realize that he's stuck back in the 1940's with his music.
While Mark has been out on his mission he's been handing out free copies of his CD. Some people ended up accusing him of trying to make money off of this tour of America but Mark insists that he's not. He said he took his own money that Martha Raye left him when she died and produced the CDs to give away for free. That didn't stop callers from yelling at him though. Listeners and even Crazy Cabbie called in and yelled at him for trying to make money. Cabbie got to yell at him the longest and he seemed to agree with Howard that his music was all wrong for this situation. Mark didn't want to hear any of this stuff. He told Howard this was his last appearance. He said that he and Mancow in Chicago got along and Mancow even walked the streets with him to hand out his CDs to people. Howard said there's no way he'd walk the streets with Mark to hand out those awful CDs. Because of that Mark seems to think that Howard's not being as patriotic as he should.
Howard let Mark make some statements that he wanted to make before wrapping things up with him. Mark read a statement aimed at Jane Fonda that didn't make a lot of sense. Howard said Jane Fonda has nothing to do with this situation but Mark believes she does for some reason. Howard let a few more phone callers goof on Mark and then announced that he'll be appearing at Archie's Place at Noon today to hand out his free CDs. You can also e-mail you comments to Mark at HarrisSite@aol.com if you have the desire to do so.
Howard said Gary was asking him some questions in a ''Battle of the Sexes'' quiz and it looks like he knows way too many answers for the women's questions and not enough of the men's questions. Gary asked Howard a few of the women's questions to show Robin just how much of a woman Howard really is. Howard matched the definitions for things like a charm bracelet, a tiara, the train of a dress and a bunch of other stuff that no guy should know off the top of their head. Gary got to some of the men's questions and he knew more than he thought he would. He knew a bunch of sports questions but most of them sounded like guesses. So he wasn't as much of a woman as he first thought he was.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about the World Trade Center tragedy and then mentioned that his Disaster Relief Fund drive has raised more than $2.5 million so far. Howard has been thinking about how he can present the money to the people who will be receiving the money. He heard that Paul McCartney will be doing a special benefit concert and Howard may appear there to present the money. They heard that Led Zeppelin might be playing too so Howard said he wants to be part of the band.
Brian, one of the engineers from Howard's radio station, called in with a bunch of clips from the John Lennon Tribute show that aired last night. He played clips of Kevin Spacey, Sean Lennon, Cindy Lauper, Stone Temple Pilots and Alanis Morissette performing their songs. Howard seemed to enjoy most of the clips.
Howard read an early report off the wire news prompter in his studio about the Greyhound Bus crash that happened early this morning. Howard said he hopes that it wasn't a terrorist attack. He doesn't think it was just because it wasn't a huge bombing or anything. He said he'd update everyone as the morning went on.
The F-Emmy awards are coming up soon on the show and Howard had to choose what kind of award he was going to have for the winners. Last year he said it was a bronzed tampon. This year he had a few to choose from including a bronzed Astro Glide tube, a bronzed Howard statue, a bronzed vibrator and a bronzed replica of Howard's nose. Howard and everyone else agreed that it should be the nose replica this year.
Howard read somewhere that Ben waxes his whole back so he asked him about that. Ben said he's never done that. He said he really doesn't have that much back hair so he'd never have to do that. He did, however, say that he had a full body wax one time for a movie he did. Howard asked him why he didn't just use Nair to take care of his hairy legs. Ben didn't know that much about it and his wife said she doesn't think that stuff works that well anyway. Howard said he was always afraid to use it because it's a chemical that just melts your hair away.
Howard spoke to Ben and Christine about the movie and how Christine got a part in it. Christine told Howard that she wasn't the first choice for the part so it wasn't like having her husband as the director guaranteed her a job. Ben told Howard they had other people in mind for her part but the producers just couldn't settle on one. Christine then ended up with the part.
Howard asked Ben if he and his wife are going to become Scientologists like so many other Hollywood actors have done. Christine said she sure wouldn't but Ben said he was kind of curious about it because they all seem so happy. Howard said he doesn't single out that wacky religion to goof on. He said that he feels sorry for anyone who gets duped by any religion. It just seems like he goofs on Scientology more than other religions.
Howard brought up the fact that Ben had canceled his appearance on the show shortly after the World Trade Center tragedy. Howard said Ben canceled his show but still kept his appearance on Letterman and a couple of others. Ben eventually thought better of it and re-booked himself on the show. Ben didn't think that it was the right time to promote the movie because of the tragedy. He told Howard none of that stuff matters now because he's on the show.
Howard asked Christine if she's ever done any nude scenes in a movie. She said she's very modest and she hasn't done any. She told Howard a story about how she was offered a part where she would have been nude but she turned it down. That led to her telling a story about how she got car jacked about 8 years ago. She said had just come home and was getting out of her car to lock it up. She had a friend with her and all of a sudden another car pulled up and a Hispanic guy got out with a gun in his hand. It was broad daylight and Christine said she just went numb and did everything the guy asked her to do. She had to remove her ''Club'' from the steering wheel and she had to give him her keys. She said it was very scary at the time. As she was telling the story Howard kept asking her questions about what she was wearing that day and how she looked. This all happened around the time she was offered the nude role so that's how it all came up. She then told Howard how she was offered the lead role in ''Night of the Demons 2'' but because it required her to get nude she turned it down. They later offered her the part she took where she just had to take her shirt off with a bra on. That's as close to nude as you'll find her in a movie at this point in her career.
Howard took a few phone calls for Ben and Christine. There was one guy who thought Ben was Ben Affleck and another caller asked Ben if he's ever tried anal with Christine. Ben said he's not into that and he's never tried it. Christine said she's not especially interested in that either. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time after that. As he was doing that Artie Lange said that he and Ben did a movie together. Ben said he knew who Artie was but they were in the movie ''Mystery Men'' and it sounded like neither of them were very proud of that fact.
Howard also spent some time goofing on this actress LeeLee Sobieski's poetry read that she did on some talk show recently. Howard got a hold of the tape the other day and he said it's the greatest tape he's heard. She rambles on in incomplete sentences and it's led to quite a bit of goofing. Howard said if he gets to appear on this Paul McCartney special he might just read LeeLee's poetry himself. Big Black called in with even more tape of LeeLee speaking at the John Lennon Tribute. She had a similar delivery to her poetry so Howard made fun of that a little more.
Elijah, one of Jessica Hahn's friends, called in and started rambling about how she called to request a song at some radio station and they told her they couldn't play it because there's a list of songs that they don't play at this time. Howard ended up hanging up on her after telling her he didn't want to talk to her unless she was making out with Jessica. A short time later Jessica called in and said that they did make out after Howard told Elijah to do so. Howard ended up asking Jessica if she's ever had a full blown lesbian experience. Jessica finally broke down and decided to tell a story she's never told before. She said that she sort of had a lesbian experience with Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Playmate. She said that the other woman didn't do much of anything to her though. Hef ended up screwing Jessica while he did some foreplay stuff with the other chick. Jessica seemed to think that her current boyfriend might get upset with some of the story if she got into more detail though. Gary came in and said that just a few weeks ago Jessica had told a story about sleeping with Hefner and that was supposed to be the one and only time. Now she's calling in with another story. Jessica said that she figures since we're at war it's a good time to tell some of her stories to keep people entertained.
Howard went on to discuss Mayor Giuliani and how it looks like he won't be around as Mayor much longer. Howard is still hoping that they'll let Giuliani extend his term but it doesn't look good at this time. Howard has said on a couple of occasions that he's willing to run for Mayor and keep Giuliani on so he can keep doing the job he's been doing.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so Howard has announced that he'll be checking women for lumps. He said if you want to have your breasts checked, just call the show and let them know. 1-800-44-STERN.
Howard got into a discussion about some of the overreaction to the terrorist attacks. The band Bush has renamed their song ''Speed Kills'' to ''The People That We Love'' because they thought that people might find the ''speed kills'' line to be sensitive. Howard played a short clip of the song and you never do hear the line ''the people that we love'' in it. A phone caller said he was watching ''Back to the Future'' on a network the other day and they bleeped out the word ''terrorist'' each time it was used during the scenes where the terrorists were trying to steal the plutonium. Howard seems to think that's going a little bit far to avoid upsetting people.
Howard brought up his disaster relief fund again today. He mentioned a bunch of people who have donated thousands and thousands of dollars for the fire, police and EMS families who lost their loved ones in the World Trade Center tragedy. Howard said they're not going to have the phone numbers up much longer so if you're going to donate, do it quick. Check out HowardStern.com for more info.
Howard announced that his ''F-Emmy'' Awards have been delayed until next week. He said that one of the people nominated for best phony phone call is comedian Jim Florentine who does the ''Terrorizing Telemarketers'' phony phone calls. Howard played a clip of one of Jim's calls to give us a taste of what he's nominated for.
Howard brought up Joan Rivers name because her yearly E! show where she and her daughter do their fashion reviews for the Emmys has been canceled. Howard and Robin then got into a discussion about Joan's plastic surgery and how bad it's gotten. Robin said she saw Joan on QVC the other day and she hardly recognized her. She said Joan looked like a cat and the surgery is getting out of control.
Howard took a phone call from this guy Matt. Matt had no idea that he was talking to Howard so Howard ended up goofing on the guy and confusing the hell out of him. Howard kept telling him he was going to put him on with Howard but then he'd say that he wasn't on yet and Matt would start telling his story over and over again. Howard had the guy so baffled that he didn't know what was going on. Howard eventually told him he was out of time and had to hang up on him. Howard told Matt that it took too long for him to get his story out so he had to go. It was five minutes of hilarious goofing.
Howard spoke to another caller who was a fat chick in a wheelchair. She told Howard how she lies to get men on the web. She said she has lied and said she's 5'2'' tall and weighs only 123 pounds when she's really 220 pounds and in a wheel chair. She said she lied and said she was 23 years old and she's really somewhere around 60 or so. Howard said he might have her on to play ''Queen for a Day'' sometime in the near future.
Howard played a bunch of listener songs that he's gotten lately about the World Trade Center tragedy. Gary told Howard they're getting like 10 to 20 a day now. They're all bad. Howard can only sit through about 10 seconds of each song before he's tired of them.
Booker said that J-Lo's house was a normal house, not a mansion like Howard figured it would be. During the whole conversation Booker really didn't make much of a big deal out of this thing. Ralph wanted him to just admit that he was excited about being able to go to this thing. He just continued to play it off as just another wedding though.
Howard went into his own little thing where he was supposed to be Booker writing in his diary about the J-Lo wedding. He started off each line with ''Dear diary...'' and said some funny lines about the whole situation. After a few more minutes of goofing on Booker Howard ended the conversation.
Howard spoke to Joan about who she's dating now and how she's doing with that. She talked about that a little bit but she didn't want to say who she was dating. She did say that the guy is younger than she is. She said he's an investment banker who's 49 years old.
Since some people seem to think that Joan has had too much plastic surgery Howard had sort of an intervention with a plastic surgeon who was going to try and get Joan to stop with the surgery. The plastic surgeon came in and said that sometimes a person can have too much surgery and that would raise a red flag for that person. He said that he and some of his colleagues have come up with a plan where they would raise a red flag for these people so they could stop them from getting more surgery. Joan doesn't want to hear any of this stuff because she believes in plastic surgery and how it makes her feel. Howard let the guy talk to Joan for a couple of minutes but he ended up moving on to phone calls. One woman called in and yelled at Joan about wearing fur and how horrible that is. Joan got really pissed and yelled right back at the woman but she wasn't listening to what she had to say. Joan thinks that those people are nuts and have no right to yell at her for something she enjoys. Howard wrapped things up and said that Joan will be appearing on QVC all this week to sell her stuff. She'll also be on Politically Incorrect sometime in the near future.
Ozzy was very lively and rambling a bit while he was on the phone. A couple of times Howard had no idea what Ozzy had said so he just said ''Exactly'' to him. Howard and Ozzy spent about 10 minutes talking about all of this stuff and how Ozzy and his wife think that giving the money to Howard will guarantee that the money goes to the right place. Ozzy said that he's playing at the Meadowlands in New Jersey on the 23rd of this month. At least that's how I interpreted what he said. I could be wrong about that.
Howard also spoke to Carol about dating Jerry Seinfeld and what that was like. She didn't have a lot to say but she hinted that Jerry was no good in bed... at least that's the way Howard took it.
Howard also wanted to know more about Ellen Degeneres' sex life. He tried to find out if Carol thinks Ellen is the ''man'' in her relationship. Howard seems to think that she is because she always dresses like the ''man'' and she dates some hot looking women. Carol wouldn't say that she thought that way though. She avoided answering any of those type of questions. Howard pretty much answered them for her. Carol pointed out that Howard always concentrates on that part of her life and doesn't mention that Ellen is funny. Howard said we all know she's funny, that's the reason she's on TV. Ellen's TV show airs on Friday nights on CBS.
Howard started talking about his Disaster Relief Fund and Craig Gass said that he's been raising some money doing phony phone calls for people as Sam Kinison, Al Pacino's baby and other voices that he does. Just give him a few bucks for the fund and he'll crank call your buddies. Artie Lange said he'd pay $20 for that himself. Tom Chiusano came in and said that they've raised about $2.7 million so far with the Howard Stern Disaster Relief Fund.
Howard had a whole discussion about his father's restaurant ordering process. He's done it before a few times so I'll spare you the details. He also spoke of his own experiences at fancy restaurants where they serve really strange sounding meals. Howard and Artie had a lot of fun coming up with their own names for wacky sounding meals. Somehow they ended up talking about douching. Howard then asked Robin if she douches. She said she doesn't do that, she just bathes in a bubble bath to keep the stink away.
Stuttering John's birthday was yesterday and he's celebrating tonight at BB Kings. Stuttering John has been saying that he's only 34 years old but Howard found out he's actually 36! He's been lying about it and Howard wanted to figure out why. Howard thinks he may be embarrassed that he's still the guy answering the phone or he's trying to keep his acting career going by keeping his age low. John didn't think it was that big of a deal and he said it was more of an inside joke. He insists he did it as a goof but Howard didn't buy that explanation. Howard didn't think the conversation was that interesting because John kept saying that he was doing it as a goof. Gary doesn't think he's being truthful about it either. Mike Gange from E! said that John told him he lies to Gary about it just to piss him off. Howard got rid of John after just a couple of minutes of this and wished him a happy birthday.
Th other day Robin read an article about how a guy found what was supposedly a penis in a bottle of fruit drink. Howard said he found an article that said it was actually a bacterial mold that had grown in the fruit drink. Howard had a picture of it that he showed to everyone and it looked like a penis. Everyone was disgusted by the picture and Robin suggested they all stay away from that brand of fruit punch.
They demonstrated some of their penis puppets for Howard too. They pulled down their pants and Howard and the crew tried to guess what impressions they were doing. They did things like impressions of a hamburger, the Eiffel Tower, a ship, a smashed rat (against Robin's booth glass) and a few others that Howard said looked very painful. The guys said that they're penises are very flexible. One of the guys has a long penis that he can stretch out more than the other guy too. Howard said he'd have a very small part in their show if he joined it.
After the demonstration Howard had Mike Walker on the phone to play his game. Here's how it goes:Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard let the penis puppet guys go and took a break. After the break Howard said that Robin actually shook the guys hands when they were leaving. Howard said he was so disgusted with that fact that he couldn't take his eyes off of Robin's hands and he had to watch and see what she did with them after they left. They had just played with their penises and she shook their hands!
Howard spent a little more time pushing his Disaster Relief Fund. He said that he's hoping to present the money directly to Mayor Giuliani sometime in the near future. Check out HowardStern.com for more info on how you can donate.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about Barry Bonds hitting his 70th home run last night. He and Robin did a mini newscast with that subject. Howard played a few news clips from the big event.
Howard and the rest of the crew spent quite a while going over many shows that have ''Jumped the Shark'' or shows that haven't done it yet. Jon seems to know just about every TV show ever made and when it ''jumped.'' Here are a few of the shows they discussed:
Howard said that Jon has a lot of stuff going on with his site and it looks like he might be jumping the shark himself. He's got a VH-1 special week called ''Jump the Shark Week'' where they'll be doing some stuff based on his rock band jump the shark stuff. Jon's also got a development deal for a game show based on the site. He's turned his hobby into a full time job.
Of course Howard's show was mentioned as one of the shows that has jumped the shark. There have been many moments over the years where people think Howard's show has jumped. Howard said he's gotten that since he started doing radio but the show just keeps going. Jon said that he's gotten a lot of votes that say having Crazy Cabbie on the show is when it jumped.
Howard ended up getting into a discussion about when marriages have jumped the shark. Howard talked about getting tempted by women very early on in his marriage but the marriage lasted 20 years or so. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in for some reason and Howard said that he thinks Dominic wouldn't have gotten divorced if he hadn't done it. Dominic said that wasn't true but after another caller said that he got a divorce because Howard did, Dominic finally said that it did have an effect on him. Robin listened to all of this and came up with a revelation of her own. She thinks that a marriage ''jumps the shark'' when one of the partners has to ask permission to do something. In that case, Gary's marriage has jumped the shark. Howard thinks that Gary's marriage jumped a long time ago. Howard was running out of time with all of this stuff going on so he was going to plug some of Jon's stuff. His list of plugs was so big that he didn't really get to it all though. Jon has a book coming out next fall and a bunch of other stuff that he said you can find out about on his web site JumpTheShark.com
Howard moved on to talk to Jon Hein about some more Jump the Shark stuff. They talked about a couple of actors who have jumped the shark and also about some bands and when they jumped. Someone asked if there were any shows that never jumped the shark. Jon said that there are some that people say never jumped but most of them were only on for a short time. A few examples were: